There is one big issue with gender neutral language in English for nonbinary etc people like myself.

Titles/Honorifics

It's one that's had a lot of debate and many proposed solutions over the years (including Mx. which works for some people but I find clumsy), but I think I've solved it with the help of etymology and Wikipedia

Mr. and Mrs. are both from Master and mistress, and if you trace them back they go to Magister, and then to Magis

Which is related to both Mage, and Maestro, and means roughly the same things as Mister and Mistress

So I suggest (and really enjoy the idea of) perhaps adding Mgs. to Mr. and Mrs., pronounced "Magis"

Which could be used in a spousal way and as a title of respect

When I tried to do similar things for Sir and Ma'am, they come from different roots and so I can't quite as easily do this tracing back and abbreviating, but I am attempting it anyway. (I will update if I find anything worthwhile)

I get not many people are willing or able to change their language in such a forced way like this, and that language is supposed to evolve fluidly forward and not by haltingly filling in gaps left by the gender binary we already have built in to English, but I wonder if Mgs. would catch on...

(Also Mgs. [My last name] sounds reallllllly cool, try it out)

zen sketches from the last few weeks <3 please read all chips in

happy 4/13 to all who celebrate :) they are the main characters to me

honestly, boldest move the fandom could go for is collectively deciding to characterize Nico as the type to like, never use pet names in ship stuff. itd be kinda funny.

Thinking about Vulcans prizing “calm” over “happiness”. 

Like how humans look back on their childhood and remember how happy it was - joyful days spent running around in the sun, getting into a bit of trouble, laughing with peers and family - that’s how they know it was a good one. Meanwhile Vulcans might look back on their childhood and remember how peaceful it was. Quiet days spent studying, the warm glow of candlelit lessons in caves, getting along smoothly with ones peers - that’s how they know it was a good one. Humans typically chose their friends and romantic partners based on if this person makes them feel happy above all. The question of “Do you like being with them?” is interpreted to mean “Does being with them make you feel happy?” But since Vulcans don’t experience (or strive for) happiness there would have to be some other parameter. So I was thinking about like, what is a good relationship to a Vulcan? There’s obviously a big emphasis on ‘togetherness’ in Vulcan unions. The Pon Farr ritual Tuvok does with his [hologram] wife involves them committing to becoming “Two bodies one mind” and it’s stated that they give and receive from each other all that they are. There’s also of course the iconic “Never and always touching and touched”. This is all (as was said during T’Pol & Koss’ wedding) “The Vulcan heart, the Vulcan soul, this is our way.” Vulcans are also (ENT) expected to live together for at least a year after being married - I imagine so that they can bond with and get to know one another. In SNW T’Pring wants for Spock to honor the commitments he makes to her so in that case T’Pring values Spock keeping his word to her and placing her above other things. I see a bit of Tuvok in that, where he prizes his commitment to T’Pel over anything else to the point where he’d nearly rather die than break it: (Even though he eventually agrees to having sex with a hologram it MUST be of his wife and he lets Tom/The Audience know that he will NOT be making a habit of it. There’s no ironclad logical reason for him to react this way as a hologram is not a person but his commitment to T’Pel seems to take precedence and I believe that’s his reasoning. His bond with T’Pel is logical, sustaining and important to him and he’s loath to break it over some bodily need. some desire that will pass even if it kills him.) <- By this way of thinking, betraying T’Pel would be the emotional choice while remaining loyal to her is remaining loyal to his logical self. A strong emphasis on loyalty to one’s mate seems to be a common Vulcan trait. In the beginning this seems to be rooted in tradition but later on its probably assumed that the couple will be loyal to one another out of some sort of actual connection between two people as opposed to pure obligation. In ENT T’Pol says that a certain degree of “affection” is eventually expected to happen within a marriage (though the way she says it makes me think this doesn’t always occur and isn’t necessarily The Goal) and her mother says that she and her husband developed a “deep connection” to one another. All this makes me think that a connection and a sense of ‘togetherness’ or ‘compatibility’ would also be prized over more emotional things like a passion for one another. It’s a partnership above all and that would be prized over a romantic union.  It makes me think of Vulcans’ roots in violence and war. Maybe this commitment to a steady togetherness, two people who don’t know each other being able to work together so seamlessly they nearly become one, is a way to show they’ve moved beyond that despite the pon farr remaining. Vulcans are a naturally very emotional species. Someone who incites that would probably not be seen as someone you should spend your time with. Someone who makes your heart pound, sets you ablaze, fills you with passion - that sounds like a bad Vulcan time v_v  Tuvok says as much when he talks about how he was struck with “shon-ha’lock”. Humans wouldn’t see anything wrong with having a crush on someone (and indeed in that episode Tom only comes to the conclusion that it’s a shame Tuvok couldn’t act on these emotions) but it’s obvious that even a teenaged crush when uncontrolled can become a very big problem to a Vulcan. In one of the Star Trek Novels Tuvok even stops being friends with and talking to a girl because she tearfully admits she has feelings for him and he sees that her feelings for him cause her pain.  Instead of thinking “Oh, she really likes me, good! We’re close friends so maybe we can make this work.” or even “I don’t like her romantically but since we’re close friends we can work through it.”  Tuvok thinks “Oh, she really likes me. That must be causing her to become very emotional and I can see she’s clearly upset. I’ll remove myself from her life so my presence doesn’t incite those emotions anymore.” And while him flat out just cutting himself out of her life might seem weird and kind of cruel and a frankly hilarious reaction to someone confessing their love to you - I also think it’s something he thought of as a kindness. If his presence harms her (stirs up emotions in her) then he will remove himself to keep from harming her. Along that vein, calmness or the absence of strong emotions would be a good relationship and one worth staying in. Not that there can’t be any emotions (Tuvok and T’Les obviously care[d] deeply for their respective spouses) but that they must be controllable and able to be cast aside in the face of logic.  I also think that “knowing” the other person would be considered very important (after marriage of course). If you’re to operate as a partnership, a team, and especially if you’re both telepaths you should be able to know your spouse pretty damn well. I see T’Pring attempt to do this in SNW where she is constantly fighting to get to know Spock which Spock self-consciously discourages since he’s been told/shown that his human side is unappealing to Vulcans.  But yeah man idk...just picturing a Vulcan and a human talking for hours...walking along the beach...sleeping side by side...getting to know one another...and at the end of it all one says “You make me feel happy” and the other says “Your presence calms me” and it means, essentially, the same thing.

And then you called me a mage, and that felt right. (1x04) / Callum, I know you love magic, but I hope you're careful. Because it can change people. (4x04) / Who am I if I'm not a mage? (Callum's Spellbook)

AUTHORS COMMENTARY FOR NEW CTB PLSSSSS😭😭😭

Thank you! I would be more than happy to explain myself.

My commentaries have, historically, been a pain in the butt to read on a formatting level. I have attempted to fix this by breaking up the commentary into labeled sections. Consequently, this led to me writing out way more than I normally would.

So, enjoy.

[The Past]

Pre-Festival & Festival Day

As I mentioned previously, I wrote a significant part of this past section for the last chapter-- all the way up until Link asks for Icarius’s name. I ended up cutting the chapter into two for space, which meant that there was a few weeks between writing the first and second half of the icarius stuff. 

I really did not spend as much time with the latter half as I wanted to, and I think it suffers for it. I’ll elaborate on that in a second. Let’s try to stick to talking about the chapter in a somewhat chronological order. 

I joked about this last weekend, but Jakucho is extremely funny for hearing Link speculate about Icarius and Nephus and deciding, “Yup. Not my problem. Have fun with that.” Of course, she thinks he’s obsessed with Nephus and not Icarius. 

Gaze upon my weak attempt to confirm Ayane is trans. I think this might have been a bit of a clunky way to do it. I never know how to get characters to confirm their identities without it sounding too much like a script read. Hopefully, this was at least clear if not entirely blatant.

Holidays are such an important part of world building, and I think it is very silly when you are in a fun little fantasy world and they celebrate not-Christmas or the like. That being said, sometimes you are so exhausted of any ideas that you have to sit down and say “Fuck it. Off-brand Halloween.”

That being said, having a holiday to mourn the loss of the Sacred Realm feels fitting for the world, even if the inclusion of masks was a bit clunky. 

I really do think an under-explored area of Zelda lore is that the goddess’s realm is just... gone. Corrupted. Where are the goddesses now that the Sacred Realm is the Dark World? Is there a holy crusade to restore the Dark World to the Sacred Realm? I think Nintendo could do a dark fantasy spin off about this. Or when I finally get around to running that Hyrule homebrew DND campaign I have been cajoling my friends into playing, I’ll make it a plot point. 

Now that I am typing this, I am realizing that I really should have had a little moment where all the masks forces Link to remember the child. Fuck. 

In my original vision, Icarius was going to be very polite and quiet while at Jakucho’s estate, only for his next scene to be him snarking at some guys during a bar fight. What a bait and switch that would have been.

When I was a kid, I genuinely thought that the keaton mask was supposed to be a Pikachu mask (in part because I had only seen it in my cousin’s copy of Super Smash Bros). Hence, the yellow fox vs yellow mouse banter. 

Link’s House / Icarius Backstory

Writing Icarius and Link banter was surprisingly difficult. I have this whole vision in my head about these two being loving to verbally spar with each other. And for some reason, the dialogue was just not flowing the other day.

And by the other day, I mean that a part of my major revisions the day of posting was to fix this entire section. Did it work? Not really. But I got a D grade prose up to a B-, and that was going to have to do. 

My biggest gripe is their conversation in Link’s house, where Icarius info-dumps his entire backstory. In my brain, this scene would have felt dark and moody while still being a little romantic. They definitely hit all the points I needed them to hit for the plot, but it just... it’s so stilted. It doesn’t feel like Icarius is unloading years-worth of grievances on someone who he can trust to listen, if only for a night. It feels like Icarius is reading from a script. Ugh.

There was going to be an in-story explanation from Icarius as to why his hair is bleached that never actually came up. For those curious, it’s that Nephus had the grand idea first to bleach his hair but was worried it wouldn’t look good. So he had Icarius dye his first. Sure enough, he thought it looked terrible and decided to not go through with his end. Icarius was going to be very annoyed by that and would bitch about how long it would take for him to grow it out again. 

I originally was not going to give him the bleached hair to begin with, but after everyone made fun of Warriors for not recognizing him in the first place, I felt like I had to make a significant change to his appearance. It actually helped to get him to play the role I needed him to play in Link’s post-war problems.

Let’s rewind. In my original outline, Icarius was never here in Kakariko. This entire chapter would have instead been Link deciding on his own terms to get over his hang-up over being involved with men and going out to flirt with one. This would have been a random soldier who had been discharged and was just passing through town on his way home from the war. Link would have subconsciously been attracted to him because he resembled the engineer. 

For example, he would have made some comment about liking how strong his hands were. 

This soldier was truly going to be a random guy. At most, he would have mentioned rooming with a friend on-leave named Arlo (who appeared earlier in story as a soldier in the trenches). The whole point was that Link felt like he could connect with another person as long as he didn’t give them a chance to look too deeply into him. 

But after the House of Nephus characters were all introduced, I realized I needed to find some way to elaborate on them. Switching out the random soldier for Icarius was the easiest move.

Does it work? Kinda? It definitely helps the obsession plotline, but the original point got lost among all of the Icarius backstory.

So, Icarius backstory. I feel terrible for everyone who was looking forward to Link being swept away in a beautiful, touching romance. I tried to warn you.

Icarius and his relationship with Nephis is fascinating to me, and I really feel like I only have time to scratch the surface. Icarius is very smart, but believes that Nephus is one the “good ones.” But he can see that Nephus is starting to lose respect for him, so he plays these tricks to remind him that he’s still needed. He knows its foolish but his entire like has encompassed Nephus and he’s scared to know what it would look like without him. It works for a while, but not long enough. The reader knows that it stops working because that smart mouth of his that always picks fights gets taken away.

And that’s not even addressing the greater society Icarius lives in or the way Philo’s addition changes things for him even more. 

All that’s to say that even if Icarius is not the perfect romantic lead people were hoping for, I intended to suggest in-story that if either him or Link were in different circumstances, there could be something there. 

I actually really like the idea of Warriors’s love interest being an agent of an enemy state who is mean to him in the exact way he thinks is hot. Instead of inventing Hylian soldier or Sheikah warrior OC’s to be Warriors’s love interest, can there be more of this? It doesn’t even need to be Icarius. I just think falling-in-love with-the-enemy-but-the-enemy-is-a-shithead-about-it is an extremely funny dynamic.

There is also nothing funnier than Icarius thinking he’s met a nice, normal guy only to realize mid-act that he Messed Up

Also I hope this contexts helps fill-in the blanks for some of Icarius’s actions in the present day, which is no doubt a lot of “oh crap, it’s that guy I screwed that one time” and “how dare you forget about the one time we screwed!”

Post-Icarius Timeskip

I really needed to spend a few days at least on that last bit about Link’s realization. It’s so pivotal for his character, and I really just shoved it in at the end there. I’m going to have to add a lot of flowery prose to the beginning of next chapter to make up for it. 

That being said, it’s important to me that there really isn’t a specific trigger for him realizing what he’s done. He just finally feels comfortable and safe enough for his brain to start processing everything he did. 

It was very important to me that Link decided to stop dwelling in his past by putting a bowl into his cabinet, only for that bowl to break when he realizes what he’s done. Symbolism and stuff. 

[Present Day]

Ganondorf’s Arrival & Townhouse

I’m really happy that so many of you were excited for Ganondorf’s arrival last chapter. That scene was so cheesy that I was worried it would dampen the excitement of actually getting to see him. 

Originally, Ganondorf and Lincoln were going to have their argument in a bedroom, but I moved it to the foyer for convenience sake. But in my mind, I never moved Lincoln’s starting place from hiding in Ganondorf’s room, hence why he started the scene at the top of the stairs and not a more logical spot (in the hallway).

The reason it was going to be in the bedroom was because I thought Lincoln had snuck past Ganondorf’s guards and housestaff. But they all know about Lincoln, so it made more sense for Lincoln to subtly enter through the back entrance. It’s a whole thing. 

I think my favorite part of the Chain already being at Ganondorf’s house is that there’s an implied subplot that happened off-screen where they plus Lincoln had to go hunting for where they thought Ganondorf was staying. 

When Spirit pretends to not know who Ganondorf is, there was going to be a joke where the boys are trying to explain everything and he’s like “oh, so we’re all being racist here.” I ended up cutting it because, well, they were being racist.

Speaking of which, the whole thing with the maid calling Warriors “my lady” is that Warriors was going to try to gently correct her (because he thinks she’s stupid), only to find out that she was just being passive aggressive

Some may remember that one of the hardest cuts I made to CTB was a reporter OC. You can definitely tell that I am massively regretting that cut right now. Imagine how could it would have been for Warriors to pressure this antagonist journalist who’s been reporting all his fuck-ups into helping him fix everything. That sub plot would have been so good. 

I was going to have a few of the other heroes confront Warriors as to why he credited Zelda, reaching a similar conclusion that his narration provided. Ended up cutting it for space. 

A lot of the black blood stuff that I came up with for this chapter really doesn’t hit with LU, but at this point, I really don’t care. 

There’s something about how Spirit viewing monsters and humans the same resulting in him very easily killing people while also being the only one who would realize that black blooded monsters could have always been cured, had anyone thought about it before. I just enjoy the way this man thinks.

Also, Spirit really enjoying spicy food is such a stupid character quirk, and I am almost ashamed of how much effort I went to develop it. Originally, I wanted Wild to get so fed up with Spirit being unimpressed with his cooking that he would demand Spirit to cook one night, only to discover that he actually can’t cook and just overcompensates with a shit-ton of hot sauce. 

Ganondorf’s speech about how to win a war is partly the result of me spending months ruminating about how the Triforce could be used to end a war ethically, and partly an exploration of how Ganondorf thinks 

I wanted to do one last scene of everyone leaving, where Wind would confront Time about being an asshole to Ganondorf. I cut it for space, then convinced myself that I would have time to add it back in, only to then cut it for time. My apologies to the Wind fans who have gotten nothing as of late. 

Hospital & Family Dinner 

I said before that I wasn’t initially going to rescue Toto until the end, which means that I had no plan for how Toto would feel until now. I realized that Toto was just... done. He wanted no part in Warriors’s life any longer. Unlike Kat, who got a lovely send off, I think this will be the last we see of Toto: an unfinished, unresolved mess of emotions.

When I was first describing Lincoln’s casual fit, I remember thinking to myself that I was just describing a semi-retired aged rockstar. The image has not left my brain, and if I was willing to throw a few more anachronisms into the story, I would have 100% described Lincoln like that. 

Fun fact: Orlanda’s family was going to come back in the form of her sibling being a prominent member of the rebellion. I didn’t do it because it was getting ridiculous how many relevant people were related to each other. 

When I was first coming up with Linkle’s character, I had the idea that she had that shallow form of feminism where it’s a big win for women everywhere when, say, generic action heroine wears pants. So I had it in my mind that Linkle hates dresses on principle. So during the fever dream sequence, when Warriors dreamt that Linkle was fawning over a dress, it was to show that he didn’t really know her that well.

But I never really established this idea that well and no one knew this about Linkle, so into a dress she goes.

I told myself that I was going to scour the entire story to double check if I had ever described Lincoln laughing anywhere, but never got around to it. But the nice thing about unreliable narrators is that if I get something wrong, I can just blame Warriors (that is not really how unreliable narrators work)

I have a friend who “tee-hees” while she laughs, and it’s the cutest thing ever. I just think it would be fun if Lincoln also has an adorable little kitten laugh. 

I had to look up how they build roads on dunes for this chapter. 

I did write the full Lincoln and Ganondorf backstory in a post way back when, if anyone wants to review it. It would be nice to get to get all the small details into the main story, but it’s really not pertinent to any of the main action

I definitely talked about Niko before, but I can’t find the posts. To refresh: Niko is Spirit’s uncle, in that he’s a member of the Macaryll family but no one can remember who he’s actually related to. Spirit’s parents are dead, and he lived with a different uncle and aunt until his apprenticeship. Then he moved in with Niko since he lived near Alfonzo. 

Warriors hating chocolate is a character quirk that’s not necessary to the story, but I just think is too funny to not go out of my way to include

The idea of Linkle and Lincoln dancing came from a completely different scene idea. I played around with doing a similar set-up while the Chain is on the road to the Zora’s Domain. The scene would start with Sky showing Lana how to do a Skyloftian dance, which would lead to everyone else showing off their moves. When Warriors admits that he doesn’t think he could dance anymore, Spirit would teach him a New Hyrulean dance that required only one hand. 

That led to an idea of Warriors dancing with Linkle and Lincoln, then just Linkle and Lincoln dancing themselves.

The night was going to end with Warriors forgetting his scarf and, when he went back to get it, he would overhear Lincoln venting to Ganondorf about how the whole stepping up as the parent thing is going. This got cut because it’s more fascinating when you’re forced to infer that a character is thinking. 

The Walk Back & Out Dancing

This scene of Warriors and Spirit walking back together and opening up is my real pride and joy this chapter, which unfortunately got massively overshadowed by everything else. 

So I will now take time to gush.

Spirit’s photography... so I wanted to give this man a hobby because the man cannot just like trains. I know everyone headcanons it as his hyperfixation, but it’s also his job. He needs a richer life than just that one thing. Granted, I took the route of making him start as a trainspotter like the Spirit Tracks NPC Ferrus. 

I just feel like I am so correct about Spirit liking photography. I want this to be my cultural impact. I know I said that already about Icarius, but I mean this more. Go forth and give that man a camera. 

The official document Spirit was carrying around was his engineering license.  

Also, I was 100% ready for everyone to flood me with questions about Spirit’s ex-boyfriend. After the ickywars ordeal, I figured that there was a significant chance y’all wouldn’t be normal about him. I was prepared. And you know what? I’ve heard zilch. So, let me info dump about this man now.

Spirit’s ex-boyfriend is named Jean. He is on the cusp of 30 (compared to Spirit’s 23/24). He’s a mechanic, which is a few steps below Royal Engineer. He lost his leg in a work accident when a piece of machinery fell on him. They met through work. Spirit goes through phases of being a serial dater before swearing off dating for a few months, but Jean is the first person to make it past an awkward first date and hit relationship status. Spirit thought that because he was older, he would be more understanding. 

And Jean tried. He really did. But Spirit is massive defensive and always on the offensive, so every slight disagreement turned into an explosive argument. Jean decided that he could not deal with someone who could not have a rational conversation with him, so he dumped him after 6 months. This was fairly recent, about three months before Spirit returned to Warriors’s era. 

Spirit was going to name drop Jean in his speech later, but I couldn’t figure out a way to make it clear who Jean was without it sounding awkward. 

I really like Spirit and Warriors’s conversation about Icarius, if only because it shows where their communication fails. When Warriors insists that you have a duty to disobey bad orders, he is criticizing himself for falling into the military mindset. This sounds like a criticism to Spirit, who insists that people will do anything under orders because that is what he did. 

After Warriors has spent nearly every chapter since his amputation bemoaning his disability, I really wanted there to be a moment where he realizes that just because his ability level is different, he doesn’t have to give up doing everything he loves. That’s just an important lesson for him to learn, even if it is a little inspiration-porn-y.

The Hot Mess

You might realize that there is a massive elephant in the room I am not going to discuss here. That is because this post is going into the main tag. No one has complained to me yet, but let’s not tempt anyone right now. Just like the Neck Thing, I’ll make a separate post later for anyone who wants it. Just remind me in a few days.

With that being said--

Them sharing a cigarette was another scene that was originally conceived as taking place during the trip to the Zora’s Domain. Spirit’s anecdote about failing to make friends would have served as an early hint about his loneliness and inability to make friends. 

I also have never smoked a cigarette before, so I had to sit there on wikiHow reading up on  how to smoke one without coughing. 

The half in Spirit’s four and a half attempts at quitting is this time he decided to quit, only to relapse after three hours. It was too short to count as a full attempt.

Spirit’s speech hopefully reveals what exactly is Spirit’s problem, both how he sees it and how it really is. Unlike Warriors, he never found support and healing once the war ending. No one understood his experiences, and his coping mechanism of lashing out ward away anyone who could help him. Spirit just wants to feel better, but he doesn’t know how. 

Like... his whole thing about starting his own garage-- he’s a child prodigy who is used to be good at the things he does. He ended up tarnishing his own reputation, so he threw himself back into work because working on trains and fulfilling his dream is supposed to make him happy. He’s successful, but he’s not satisfied.

I was also expecting people to have a ton of questions about why Alfonzo disowned Spirit. In short, Spirit was already on a thin line with his lashing out and shitty attitude. Alfonzo was willing to let that slide until he realized Spirit was breaking work regulations to go on more runs without taking the legally required amount of time to rest inbetween. Spirit was a legal liability. He fired Spirit, but made it very clear that he was doing him a favor by not reporting him and getting his Royal Engineering license suspended. 

No one else in New Hyrule knows the real reason why Spirit was fired, so they all assumed it was his personality. So he has a bit of a reputation now for being hard to work with. 

Another thing that was not 100% conveyed in Spirit’s speech was that even if he didn’t hurt Zelda, he could not be with her because he does not want to be Prince Consort. His experiences in Warriors’s Hyrule thoroughly scared him off from politics, though he would have refused anyway since he would never give up being an engineer. 

 Fundamentally, Spirit is an extremely lonely person who has felt abandoned by everyone in his life. He knows that his life is the way it is now because of his experiences with Warriors. His guiding principle is trying to find some way to fix himself so that he can get the life he was supposed to have, one where he is happy and loved. 

I just... god, I love this character.

And then there’s Warriors, who feels like he not capable of change and that any opportunity he has to change has been denied to him. Fixing Spirit and Time’s relationship was supposed to be a part of his redemption. Making Spirit happy was supposed to mean he’s forgiven. He has no friends, not in the Chain or in Toto. No one needs him.

Warriors also just means so much to me. I adore this disaster of a human being. 

Warriors’s Plan Out

Does Warriors’s plan make sense? I am assuming it does since no one expressed confusion, but nearly every comment thus far has exclusively been about the Hot Mess (understandable). 

There was a reason I was peeved I had to cut every chance in earlier in the story to go back to Castle Town, and it’s because I’ve known that it was going to be an extremely important location. 

Warriors choosing to forgo a glorious revolution in favor of maintaining (if not manipulating) the status quo is not a great philosophy for our protagonist to be spouting in 2024. In my defense: a) I came up with this story in 2021, which was a different real world landscape, and b) Warriors would never become this ideal hero.

It feels more true for Warriors to not really become the idealized hero. His best is not that great. But if he can’t help being the worst, he could at least use his methods for good. 

I have mentioned before that I have low empathy. Lincoln’s speech about people naturally being better or worst at being good is a product of a lot of my musing about how I sometimes feel frustrated and resentful at how hard I find it to follow the social cues that would make me a “better person.” Wouldn’t I be a better person if I had an easier time recognize when someone is in trouble and needs my help. Instead, I have to depend on myself to remember the cues, and I am so prone to mistakes.

I want to be a kind person. I want to be the best person anyone has ever met, but it’s an uphill battle. I feel like I am always working against myself. But it’s still important that I make the choice every day to be kind to others. 

Besides, I have been told that I am more kind and helpful than other people, if only because I don’t rely on my feelings when deciding to reach out to others. So it has its perks. 

I’m not saying Warriors has low empathy. I have expressly written him as someone with empathy. But my philosophy that kindness and caring for others is an active choice just felt like it belongs here. 

There is story-canon low empathy character that I wanted to reveal in story to help Warriors beat the accusations and get people to not armchair diagnose him. I am still holding out hope I will have time and space to explore this in story, but if I don’t--

Four is written to have low empathy. It’s a consequence of the Four Sword splitting up his emotions, making it extremely difficult to tap into more than one emotion at a time, much less his empathy towards others. He can feel how this change in himself and has some thoughts on the whole thing. 

Is that the end of the chapter. Fuck yeah. I’ve been working on this since Monday, If you read all this... congrats! I hope it was worth it.

Also, I forgot to mention that this is the end of Act 5. My act system is a scam and not that important, but I figured I should let you all know.  

I am once again thinking about the intimacy and evolution of calling someone by their name and the way terms of endearment grow and come to be.

so in the gemini au, how did the twins ever start calling each other leo and donnie?

Shrug. They're just reasonable nicknames! Donatello and Leonardo are a bit of a mouthful, so at some point they both just kind of shortened it, probably when they were still relatively young. It's less formal and more fun, etc etc. And though I know I've stated it already, it should be noted that no one else calls them "Leo" or "Donnie" save for each other.

Reminder when the dragoon calls Dion "Your Radiance" and some NPC says he's the emperor, Dion's to be (or already) the emperor at that time when he arrived at Randellah. Yet, Terence calls him "My Prince" in the last scene.

So in the Terence language, My prince = My love. No matter if Dion is Emperor now or not, if he is Prince of Sanbreque or not, he will always be "My Prince" to Terence.

Gasps, omg hi 🤭🤭

Mayhaps... Request?? Hehe... Idea from that previous dottore post... Reader does something very cliche+romantic to dottore for shits and giggles, expecting him to like. Not react at all or walk away,, but reader did not expect him to be... Hella flustered 🤭 like dottore.exe has stopped working HSHDGSJGS

You can ignore this if you'd like, hope you have a nice day/night!!

Also can't help but notice the similar blog theme and dottore obsession we have...

AWFULLY CLICHE, YET MY HEART STILL BEATS FOR YOU... (W/ DOTTORE, CW: BLOOD AND CORPSE MENTION!)

GENERAL WARNING: dotdot, dottie, il dottore shenanigans!

IL DOTTORE sits around in his laboratory's steel chair, scapel at hand, reluctantly waiting for you. the experiment didn't go well. he looks at his bloody hands, disappointed. you did not arrive in time with the supplies necessary.

he failed because you did not bring the supplies. he was patient yet you failed him, he was seething.

the metal door opened, your familiar form stepping inside the room. you were awfully cheery for someone two second away from becoming his next test subject. he looked at you, you were holding a basket. a quaint little basket, a handmade picnic basket in fact. unless you managed to fit the very heavy machinery inside a picnic basket, you were doomed.

what surprised him whatsoever is when you opened a side of your basket, bringing out a checkered red and white blanket and laid it on the cold hard floor, avoiding the corpse currently meters away from you. you carefully slipped out a set of matching decorated china tea cups and cutlery. the pastries you laid out on the little china plates looked cute but-

"you still did not bring the supplies," IL DOTTORE sighed, "i have told you time and time again, we need to finish this project by next week."

you knew that, the tsaritsa was a demanding force, yet you always made sure you had your own share of fun. by extension that also meant he was forced to go along with whatever activity you had in store for the day.

"i know dottie," you grinned, meticulously pouring some of the tea into your teacup, "i already turned in the project you see, i worked on it alone and pretty much finished it results and all."

IL DOTTORE scowled, how come you kept this from him. he geniunely thought you trusted him.

"sorry doc, i know you were angry and pretty stressed so i organized this tea party for you. i settled things out so no work for the rest of the day!", you cheered, but in fact he did not feel any better. but alas, there was no reason not to enjoy the meal. sitting down, he took the teacup and filled it up, steam billowing from the hot liquid being poured.

he raised his cup to his mouth, but you prevented him from doing so, cupping his face gently, your arms entangled with his preventing any movement. he felt his heart squeeze, there it was again, that horrid feeling.

"now, now ZANDIK," you brought out your handkerchief, patting his cheeks ever so gently, wiping the fresh blood out of his face, "we can't have a proper picnic without cleaning up, can we?"

his face was burning, his heart beating loudly in his ear. you took off his mask, revealing his scarred skin underneath. you looked at him with kind eyes that made him melt, holding him like as if he was made of precious china set. he felt... warm. he felt safe within your arms.

you pressed your lips near his ear, your voice a faint whisper, "there. now we can see eye to eye."

ZANDIK swore to hate you, after all you were childish and strange. but if you were to continue holding him like that, he might just his pride go.

catie I NEED more vettonso lore for your au. please. (love u)

Aaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! C!!! Thank you so much for asking!! This took me a bit cause there’s a lot of stuff I want to cover and I had to figure out how to balance the explanation of the historical context and how I apply it to my AU. But seriously thank you for asking because I did more research to write this post and learned a lot of things that make me feel deranged but I cannot bring any of this up to anyone irl without sounding like a lunatic. I’d apologize for the length but you should expect this from me by now! (I realized this doc for this was 1.5k+ my god)

Basic Info: early 1700s historical AU with arranged marriage plot 

Historical Context:

Okay, so this AU is based on a real historical event: The War of The Spanish Succession. Which is when the Spanish Throne was without a clear line of succession because the bloodline(Spanish Habsburgs) died out. So then, even though the previous Spanish King named his successor(Philip V, a Duke related to the French Royal family - representing Fernando in this AU), the Habsburgs still thought they should be allowed to keep the throne within their dynasty, thus offering up the second son(Charles VI - representing Seb in this AU) of the Holy Roman Emperor. So obviously they had to start a war because of it. But then the end result ended up being that because Charles VI’s older brother, the Holy Roman Emperor at the time, died during the war(because of illness though so it would have happened regardless), he became the next Emperor and Philip V ended up becoming the Spanish King after all, rendering it all pointless imo.

How does this relate to Vettonso?:

I'm not overly interested in either Charles VI and Philip V as people, but rather the roles they fulfill in this conflict, but obv I can’t help but draw on details from their lives. As I mentioned, Fernando is now Fernando I of Renault/France Spain and Seb is Sebastian I of Red Bull Austria. This is supposed to be like 2010-2012!Vettonso with Ferrari!Fernando and RBR!Seb(but like Fernando's title of Duke coming from France, because of his championships with Renault.) This AU is kinda just me looking at this historical event and thinking: wouldn’t a gay arranged marriage solve this succession quandary? But also just that it reminds me of Fernando and Seb’s rivalry, and the nationalities/kingdoms fit pretty well!!

Think about the throne of Spain as akin to winning a race, but becoming Holy Roman Emperor as winning the whole entire competition.(Also side note: real life Charles VI didn’t become a king until he became Emperor and adopted all of his brother’s titles, but I want Seb to be a boy king in this AU, so he can have a title as a treat.) Imagine you’re competing for something and you win it, but the only reason you win is because the other competitor won an even bigger prize!!!! Yay you got what you wanted but the boy king is now the emperor of most of Europe. And now you are stuck with him through lawfully wedded arranged marriage because they let you have what you wanted but only under the condition that the two kingdoms are still united. Yeah Fernando got the title, but Seb gained even more titles(get it???) 

They probably have a lot of animosity coming into the marriage, like “how could I ever build a relationship with the man who tried to steal my birthright?” but then realize they’re pretty similar after all. Though obviously Fernando has a lot more resentment than Seb because Seb won the whole damn thing! He would have control over Spain as he’s the king but since it's still within the domain of the empire, Seb would always have the final say. And Seb tries to be magnanimous like “Don’t worry, I won’t interfere”, and Fernando is all snide with comments like “Oh thank you great imperial majesty, can I really? Would you really allow me to do so?” But eventually become loving co-rulers that still constantly snipe at each other over different decisions the other makes. 

Some headcanons(I guess you’d still call it headcanons even if it's your own AU bcs it still comes from your head) + some fun facts from real life that have brainrotted me so I’m putting them in:

Their dynamic is just Seb being a very righteous, bratty boy king emperor who is unabashed about being that way, because he feels that it is his right, but still has a heart of gold and wants to treat his husband well no matter the circumstances leading to their marriage. And then Fernando is like a stray cat that keeps hissing and scratching because it’s really hard for him to accept the circumstances because he still feels humiliated, even though he got everything he wanted, but he still can’t help but be charmed by this baby emperor because he sees attributes of himself in Seb, and can’t really fault him because he would be the exact same, flaunting his power, if he were in Seb’s shoes. 

They would have to speak in French to each other because that’s their shared language but eventually attempt to learn each other’s native languages! Imagine Seb has to travel to Spain to give some Emperor speech and Fernando then bullies him for his bad Spanish. 

They would probably split where they live based on a schedule or by need. Yes, Fernando is the King of Spain but he is also the Emperor’s husband so he does have to spend time in the capital, Vienna. And then since Spain is a part of the empire, Seb has to go routinely, but y’know also to spend time with his husband. They find that their marriage as well as their politics is full of having to make concessions and compromises in order to make it work. 

Something I find funny is that as compensation for not getting the Spanish throne back, Spain had to cede some Italian territories to the Empire. That is literally the Ferrari plot with the transfer from Fernando to Seb!!

I’m not sure how the titles would work in this AU because obviously a m/m political marriage has not ever happened(as far as I know.) But I guess Fernando would just be King Fernando I of Spain and then Seb would be Holy Roman Emperor Sebastian I with the million titles that come with being in that role(though like most importantly Archduke of Austria and King of Bohemia and Hungary, etc.) I like the idea that Seb tries to share some titles with Fernando as a show of good will but Fernando is so affronted, mostly just from embarrassment, like “oh you think I need your good will?? I can’t be happy with what I earned in my own right??” But their kids would receive both titles and would be split in the traditional way, like first kid getting it all mostly, but the others still being nobility obv(yes.. there would be mpreg because of the plot need for succession….don’t ask who…)

They bond through their love of horses, particularly fast horses. The first time they go riding together, they’re both like awkwardly trying to act very proper as a sense of showmanship to the other like “I’m more mature than you”, but then can’t stop trying to get ahead of the other person and eventually break into a full-on race. Their aids are mutually like “oh god, they’re both the same type of insane.” 

Irl Charles VI was so salty about losing the throne that he wouldn’t stop dressing like a traditional Spanish monarch. I can totally see Seb doing that and Fernando getting so pissed with him like “you became emperor!! What more could you possibly want???’ and Seb then fixing him with his biggest pout and saying “your throne!” But also Fernando being weirdly into it because it’s basically Seb presenting himself blatantly as Fernando’s spouse. 

In that same vein, I’m going crazy over how there’s a painting from before the war, of Philip V wearing vestments from both the French order of chivalry and the Habsburg order of chivalry. Like basically stating the desire to see those two lines combined into one kingdom, which fits so well into this AU. Just Seb going crazy over how Fernando is willingly branding himself as belonging to Seb’s house. 

A testimony of Philip V’s personality is that he was a “neurotic, vacillating ruler, concerned with outward decorum and brave only in battle,” god can you not sense the energy of Fernando in that statement???

Very important to me that Charles VI reportedly had many male lovers, and that his soulmate was one of his courtiers. Maybe there can be a bit of Martian or Sebson cheating plot with them being his courtiers hahaha  

Not very relevant in this AU but there’s something about how Philip V had the longest ever reign of a Spanish monarch. Is that not Fernando??? Old man who will rule on forever, or should I say, forever keep his seat 

I already obv posted the wip for this but I'll include it here again as visual rep hehehe:

I've spent way too much time lately trying to research the fashion of the time ugh. But this, as I said, is like first joint portrait session into the marriage. And I guess I kind of want them to be wearing their corronation clothing, which I'm pretty solid on for Seb but still need to research more for Fernando. I think I'll maybe try and just put him in the afformentioned traditional Spanish monarch clothing, but the fact that it's all black kinda bores me, I'd rather he wear red!! This is like a typical royal couple type pose, except they're being more tactile. Also there's something to be said about the symbolism of Fernando being the one standing and Seb being the one sitting hehehe....

“captain of everything she ever wanted” really makes me feel like i’m going insane. like totally crazy. it’s baru and it’s A Place and it’s freedom and it’s power which is just freedom again. how much time she spends denying that she wants anything at all and how simple it rly is when it comes down to it. how little it is and how long it’s been. it’s baru. whatever i’m tearing my skin off

Alright, before moving on with the posts I'm happy to announce that this got fixed.

DC kept pushing the narrative that Barry and Wally were best friends (instead of uncle&nephew or father&son) during Rebirth because Barry and Wally were almost the same age and they didn't want to confuse people.

Tbf, it popped up occasionally before Rebirth as well. Times when Wally and Barry would inexplicably refer to each other as 'friends'. It makes me want to slap DC in its metaphorical face. That's his uncle, that's his father figure. Sure they are friends but that would not be what they refer to each other as??? Can you imagine introducing your uncle as your friend?

And some of that came from Iris and Barry dying before they got married but also... bruh, Wally referred to Barry as his uncle without him being married to Iris for his entire childhood. That's not a thing that would be revoked because Iris died.

Anyway... I'm just thinking about this cause Wally's kids refer to Barry as 'Uncle Barry' and Jay as 'Grandpa' or 'Poppy'. Not that I think Jay isn't their grandfather, he is 100%. I'm not complaining about that. I just think that Barry should maybe get an honorary title as well (and Iris!)

Usually I don’t have much for miwip Wednesday but uh I started writing recently so. Here’s a bit of a small one shot I’ve got currently called Your Brothers Our Get Away Driver