#and if that alone wasn’t enough to make me bawl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

subwaysurf45 · 1 year

Text

She’s Not Mad

Summary: Bucky Barnes was a known people pleaser, it was second nature to him. After meeting you and getting close you both try to navigate his eternal stressed state, working together you try your best to tone down his obsessive ways.

Words: 9k (if you’ve been wondering where I’ve been...)

Warnings: Bucky has mommy issues, mentions of oral sex, nudity, angst, fluff, college!bucky, slow burn

A/N: thanks for the patience!

Masterlist

A Couple of Weeks Ago…

“So, you’re not a thing?” Bucky asked as he shoved his laptop and notebook back into his bag, grabbing the handle of his water bottle and choosing to carry it with him for the walk.

The two boys were higher up in the rows of the lecture hall as they peered over the two girls talking to the professor. Steve had his eyes drilled into Natasha, the girl standing off to the side as her friend went over a question she had.

“She told me she is still figuring out her feelings since her last serious relationship,” Steve sighed as he packed up as well, “and I told her I’d wait- apparently this guy’s parents had given their family engagement ring and everything.”

Bucky pulled the corner of his lips out tight as they began to walk down the stairs, “who’s the other girl?”

“The one that was just asking the question is Y/N,” Steve watched as both girls left the room, “good friends, met last year, live together now.”

“She’s cute,” Bucky said purely, no smirk or innuendo.

********

You sat over your laptop in the library with both hands acting as a brim to cover your eyes from the people around you. Tears rolled down your face as you studied the practice question, you felt pathetic and you tried to sniffle as quietly as possible. If anyone saw you silently bawling you’d drop out, it was stupid enough already when the librarian walked over and dropped a tissue box off without saying a word.

“What do you mean?” you whispered to the page for the hundredth time, hoping for some answer.

You had done the homework, you went to the study groups, you even extended your prof's office hours because you wanted to make sure you were doing everything right. Yet here you were, sitting alone on a Friday night because you still can’t do the practice assignment. Quitting felt like the only option, it wasn’t like everything was going to click; it was too late.

This was just going to become the thing that you could never do, simple as that. Sometimes there are subjects that no matter how hard you try, you don’t have the flair. It was a tough pill to swallow but you’d never be able to do any work if you’d continue to hold yourself to a high standard, it was a win to get the little things right, not the entire question.

The idea of failing was new to you. The jump from high school to college was still something you never adapted to, you always expected nineties on everything and not the mindset that C’s get degrees.

Trying to do the question was like beating a dead horse, you needed a break. You ran your hands over your face and leaned back in your chair, hearing pops from your back as you did so, until you were leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. When you looked straight you saw someone already staring at you.

He had longer brown hair that hit his jawline, blue eyes that jumped out at you, and a very concerned look on his face. He was familiar but you didn’t know what it was from.

“Are you Natasha’s friend?” The guy came up to your empty table.

“Yeah?” You wiped away your tears, extremely confused as he pulled out the chair right beside you to sit at the eight sided table.

“I’m good friends with Steve, I think the two of them have something going on- not important, but I kind of know you and I'd rather not leave someone I kinda know alone crying, so…” he rubbed the back of his neck, “are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” you rolled your eyes and faced your computer again, “the absolute last thing I need is something watching me cry, alright?” your bottom lip wobbled as you kept your eyes away from his at all times.

He was still staring at you, “come on,” he sighed and moved his hand to comfort you but thought otherwise, “I’m not going to laugh at you or run and tell everyone I know I saw a girl crying in the library- y’know what they’d say?” You could see him tilt his head, “they’d say what’s the big deal, haven’t we all?”

You scoffed, “no they wouldn’t.”

“You’re calling me a liar?”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“Bucky,” he stuck out his hand, “Bucky Barnes.” You shook his hand, “and since I am a Barnes and was raised by my ma I simply can not let this continue, it’s my obligation to either cheer you up or take you home.”

You scoffed again and tried your best to hide your smile, “and I’m Y/N, and in my family we stress about everything and never give up so I can’t leave until I get this question, so…”

Bucky’s tongue poked the inside of his cheek as he flipped the laptop to face him a little better, “this is the class all four of us have together, alright,” he read over the question and immediately furrowed his brows before looking at you again, trying your best to hold it together. He knew the answer but couldn’t bear to see your reaction, it was painfully obvious you were beating yourself stupid over these questions.

“Can you take a deep breath for me?” he asked like he was talking to a child.

“I barely know you, dude,” you crossed your arms and ripped your laptop back to face you, “and I’ll have you know I don’t need a man to come in here and explain everything to me, alright, I’m going to figure this out on my own and I don’t need you, okay? So just head home, tell Steve I say hi.”

Bucky took a deep breath himself, “that question isn’t marked on the homework, the reason you can’t get the answer is because the way to get it has most likely not been taught yet,” he paused and saw your face crumble, “and I didn’t want to freak you out because you look like you’ve been here a while and you seem to be beating yourself up and I just couldn’t-”

“Stop,” you whispered and covered your face with your hands, “just stop talking.”

And he did.

Trying your best to calm your breaths, it didn’t work. So fucking stupid, unbelievable, there’s no way you just spent close to an hour staring at a problem you didn’t even have to do in the first place.

“Can you walk me home?” you squeeked.

“Of course,” Bucky stood up right away and started helping you pack your bag, “I have some water, do you want it?” He held up his water bottle. You nodded and began drinking as you both made your way outside and towards your off-campus house.

“Did you need to study?” you asked as you screwed on the cap.

Bucky laughed and looked up at the night sky, “I was going for a walk because I heard there was a blood moon tonight, and there is, look,” he point up and saw the red mood looming above both of you, “and I just happened to walk past the library, I looked in the window and recognised your laptop as well as your hair, funny enough,” he laughed as he looked forward again.

“So you just came in to see me?” you needed to make sure you were hearing this right, it’s not like it happens often.

“I was going to introduce myself to you actually,” Bucky shrugged and looked over at you, “I know Steve and Nat are trying to figure things out and I thought friends of two people who might date should know one another. Then I saw you crying so I changed my game plan.”

You just nodded, slightly brushing into Bucky’s arm as you walked. It was hard to stay straight with the exhaustion taking over, every now and then you’d brush your knuckles past Bucky’s. He was a cute guy, and something about him being oh so caution around you made you feel important.

“This is me,” you said later as you walked up the steps, “thanks Bucky, I hope we can be friends.”

Bucky smiled and stood at the bottom of the steps, “if you ever get in your head again like that and need someone to pull you away, let me know- even in the middle of the night, alright?”

“Alright,” you laughed with your hand on the door handle.

“I’m serious, Y/N. I look after the people close to me, I look after friends of friends like siblings,” there was no joking in his tone, it seemed other people doubted him on this promise. “I’ll give you my number,” he hand reached out for your phone.

“I’ll be fine, you seemed to have good luck running into me,” you giggle and open the door to your house. Before it fully closed you felt resistance, looking over your shoulder you saw Bucky holding open your door.

He was smiling, “then give me your number for another reason.”

“Oh?” you turned and placed a hand on your chest, “you’re rather forward.

“Well being cryptic didn’t work, did it?” He laughed and held out his hand again, “come on, I might need a study buddy one day- or even better, a lunch buddy.” you laughed as he tried to duck to meet your eyeline, “you don’t want to be my lunch buddy?”

“I’ll be your lunch buddy,” you giggled and handed him your phone, he wasted no time adding it in. “Goodnight,” you whispered and made it into your house, leaning back and resting against the door. You thought for a moment before breaking into a massive smile, replaying how he tried to keep eye contact with you. Or how he’d been so proud of how his mother raised him- “son of a bitch,” you whispered.

He walked you back home and cheered you up.

Just like he said he would.

A Few Days Later…

Your phone must be hacked or something because your weather app said it would be completely clear today and sunny in the afternoon. As you sat in the cafe you thought it would clear up but it was only getting worse.

All you needed to do was brave the rain and make your way home, but waiting for the perfect time when everything would let up for a moment was pointless.

Walking as fast as you can with your head down, you saw your grey sweatpants become a darker shade instantly. It was a straight downpour with absolutely no sign of letting up, you swore you heard thunder when you waited at the crosswalk. Due to your phone lying to you, you had not brought a hooded article of clothing or umbrella so you just had to deal with everything going wrong.

There definitely was thunder and the lightning was right above you, it seemed like you were the last person on Earth because everyone else was smart enough to stay inside right now; but not you. Down your little street you began to run, trying to get away from the lightning that was chasing you.

If you could guess you’d say most people who had been struck by lightning most likely thought they were too far away, in denial as the sky opened up from above. It was hard to admit you were actually a little scared at that moment, rain getting in your eyes as you sprinted down to your house that was now in view.

With your key at the ready you fell inside, slamming the door behind you.

Natasha rounded the corner, “you idiot, I was trying to call you!” She screamed and saw your state, “Steve and Bucky are over-they drove over they could have picked you up,” Natasha got in your face to peel off the sweater, taking it off right over your head and leaving you in your bralette and those drenched sweatpants.

“You took off my shirt when there’s boys here?” you whispered as you began to shake, covering your chest with crossed arms.

“We guessed you were walking back so we put towels in the dryer,” as if on cue Bucky rounded the same corner with your fluffy towel ready, “thank you Bucky,” Natasha wrapped it around your shoulders.

“Hi, Bucky,” you squeeked, “glad we keep meeting like this.”

Natasha had walked upstairs, most likely getting different pants. Bucky got down on one knee and slipped off your shoes, “like what?” he asked as he looked up, he reminded you of a little puppy somehow. He was as big as a great dane but there was an underlying softness that made you want to hug him or just let him wrap his arm around you.

You huffed as you pulled the towel tighter, “when I’ve just done something embarrassing and you’re there to save the day.”

Bucky stood up with his arms crossed, “only you would think crying or getting caught in the rain is embarrassing,” he shook his head and reached out to rub your shoulder that was covered by the towel, “I like helping and I like making sure people I know are okay, you know this.”

“I do,” you whispered and walked further in your house. Before you could get anywhere near comfortable Natasha whisked you away to change your soggy pants as well as throw on a sweater, they had also been thrown in the drier, everything was very toasty and warm.

Steve was sitting on the couch, staring intensely at the football game going on. Natasha guided you back in and towards the couch. There was enough room for four of you but you knew thighs would be pressed up against one another, you were okay with that if Bucky was sitting beside you. Though you don’t see him often it was nice when you did even though you made it seem like it was embarrassing. Something about having someone who loves taking care of people take care of you so well caused you to crave it a little more.

Bucky came around the couch with a mug, “hot chocolate for you,” he whispered and took the spot beside you, next to the arm rest. You thanked him and let your hand slightly burn on the mug when you held it, liking how the warmth began to spread up your arms. Natasha found her spot on the other side of you while Steve stayed on the edge, leaning forward and never looking away from the game.

“This is really good,” you sipped it and whispered to Bucky, he just smiled and leaned into your side for a moment.

“What were you working on?” he asked after a moment.

“I was at the cafe for a little treat but before I was doing my elective course,” you spoke softly. It seemed like everything happened for a reason because you only got food at the cafe which left room for this hot chocolate now.

“And that is?” Bucky giggled as he leaned forward again.

“Art history,” suddenly, you were coy. Most people thought your elective was a bird course but to you it was actually interesting, it wasn’t often you were met with a positive response.

His eyes got wide, “that’s sick!” Bucky readjusted himself off the couch, “I would have never even thought of that course, wow, that’s really cool. So, like, what do you-”

“Bucky, I love you, brother, I really do but-” Steve sighed, “can you please be quiet, this game is very important.”

“I didn’t think the Big Game was on today?” you asked as you took another sip.

“It’s not that,” Steve places his beer down, “it’s the State Cup Finals, it’s college football.”

Natasha smiled and looked over, “his team’s the underdog and are actually on the road to winning the entire thing!” She giggled and linked an arm with Steve who was happy to cuddle up with her, “it’s actually very exciting once you learn the ins and outs of it.”

You just nodded and faced forward again, seeing Bucky out of the corner of your eyes rubbing his thumb on the neck of his beer bottle, staring off into space. The moment you leaned your head on his shoulder he looked over at you, your heart broke when you saw a sad smile. He was just trying to talk to you, he got excited for you and here he was being scolded.

“Do you want to come look at some of my notes, or are you into this game?” you whispered and saw his eyes light up, both of you quickly stood and headed up stairs with your bag slung over your shoulder.

The moment you walked into your room you felt everything slow down, Bucky slowly walked in and looked around. He was smiling to himself as he l took in your photos on the walls or posters, even your to do list seemingly growing on the white board you have mounted to one wall.

You sat on the corner of your bed as he flipped through your notes, “so you’re, like, breaking down these paintings, it's not just the history of when they were painted?”

“Oh yeah,” you fiddled with the hem of your dry sweater, “most of these artist go insane and we look for that in the work or even just what was happening during the time with stuff that you’d learn in a normal history class but we look at if and when it get put into art,” this was your little thing you could talk about for ages, “very cool stuff.”

Bucky nodded and flipped the pages, “your notes are amazing,” he whispered, “you’re a pretty good student, huh?” he looked over his shoulder and saw you sitting there, just staring at him as he made his way around your room. “What?” he giggled and made his way over to you, holding his hand out to get you to stand up.

“Nothing,” you tucked your chin to your chest, getting coy at the attention. “You’re just…y’know, sweet.”

Bucky just smiled and rubbed your arm, giggling as you both stared at one another for a moment. “Do you want to go back down?”

“Sure,” you nodded and leaned forward, smiling as you both made your way back downstairs.

The rain still worked its way down your windows as the beers and wine kept flowing. The game had ended a while ago but Steve and Bucky didn’t see a reason to leave, it was a good moment that no one wanted to end. You had finished your hot chocolate and moved onto wine, sipping it slowly as everyone talked. It was nice to be brought into this group even though it stemmed from Nat and Steve, there was good chemistry between the four of you.

Talking to everyone was effortless, you didn’t need to act like someone else to fit in. no one was yelling over someone else to get their point across, there weren't any passive aggressive tones in anyone's jokes, it was carefree. It was relaxing to have people this easy to talk to.

The only thing that wasn’t relaxing was the amount of times you caught Bucky staring at you. Everyone had migrated to the floor with their backs against different furniture so you could break out the board games, Bucky was sitting adjacent to you on your right and Steve adjacent on your left, Nat right in front. Every single move whether it be placing a card down or moving your little object around the board Bucky would find a reason to look at you.

“Good one,” he’d pat your shoulder.

“Let me move your piece for you,” he’d say before you could reach across the table.

“Sorry…” he’d smile before taking your little object and moving it back four spots.

He was very attentive, always watching and scanning. But the more you noticed it the more you figured out he was doing it to everyone, including Steve. Something happened whenever Bucky would either move Steve’s piece for him or go get another beer so he wouldn’t have to stand up, Steve would give this look. It seemed as though he was silently telling Bucky he knew something or he was pointing something out that had been a topic of conversation before. Bucky would try to laugh it off but Steve was very protective of Bucky, you just didn’t know why.

The games had slowly come to a close, everyone not drunk but a little more than tipsy. Giggles flowed freely around the table as the conversation resumed again, your eyes were growing heavy as you traced the rim of your glass.

“I’ll be back,” Bucky muttered as he headed to the washroom.

The moment the door closed Steve sighed, “this kid.”

“What?” you were getting protective, why was Steve about to talk shit about his best friend?

Steve just shook his head, “It’s hard to see how badly Winnie fucked him up.”

Your heart plummeted. Any tiredness had left your body faster than the little gasp escaped your lips. Who was this Winnie girl and why did he mess Bucky up? The thoughts circled your head, was he in an abusive relationship? Natasha looked like she didn’t know either, pouring more wine into her cup.

When Bucky came back he sat closer to you and you couldn’t help but reach out and wrapped your arm around his. He must have been a little surprised but you rested your head on his shoulder and continued on like it was nothing.

You were half asleep when Bucky tried to do something for Steve, maybe get him another beer but whatever it was it left Bucky looking like a sad puppy because Steve said, “Buck, relax, I can get my beers, thank you, but I got it, alright?”

Steve's tone was soft but also commanding, he wasn’t annoyed at all. With your eyes closed you pieced it together that Steve was trying to help Bucky in some way, maybe get him to relax a little more. It was out of love but Bucky was very quiet for the rest of the night.

********

You and Bucky had started hanging out a lot more on your own. There were a lot of late night drives or study sessions, Bucky always came to the library to walk you home if you stayed late or had turned your brain into mush during your studying.

What Steve had said stuck with you more than you thought it would, it didn’t impact how you saw Bucky but it made you more aware of his people pleasing tendencies. You wanted to do the same as Steve, tell him it was okay but you weren’t as close. You saw how hurt he was the last time and you just couldn’t do it to him.

Currently you were both sitting on his bed, the movie was wrapping up. Half of his laptop sat on one thigh and the other half sat on Bucky’s, your arms were linked and there was a steady brushing of your thumb on his forearm. In all honesty, you thought you were lulling him to sleep when you looked up five minutes ago to see him fighting his dropping lids.

When the movie faded to black both of you sat there for a moment, content with the sitcom that was coming up next. You looked up again to see him with his face scrunched up, his other hand was on his back.

“What is it?” you asked and leaned over, he was rubbing a specific spot on his lower back with his thumb.

Bucky held his breath as he leaned forward to move his hand, “I was working out this morning and there weren't any belts left for my deadlifts and I did something to my back.”

“Do you want a massage?” you offered, he’d do the same for you.

“I’m okay, thanks,” he looked down at your head resting on his bicep.

“I didn’t know you worked out,” you smiled, “you don’t have the, like, bodybuilder physique.”

Bucky laughed and wiped at his eyes, giggling to himself before answering. “I don’t want that look, but…” you could see the boast on the top of his tongue, he poked his tongue on the inside of his cheek.

“Tell me!” you sat up, taking the laptop off your lap so you could fully face him now, “are you, like, ripped or something?” you both laughed as he hugged himself so you couldn’t feel or see anything, “you are, shut up!” you placed both hands on his shoulders, his face so red from laughing and embarrassment you just wanted to take a bite out of it.

“Steve calls it a sleeper build,” Bucky managed to wheeze out, he was trying to play-fight you off of him.

“What the fuck is that?!” you gasped as your hands reached out but he copied you and intertwined his fingers with yours.

“It’s when someone has muscle but you can’t really see it in normal clothing,” his face was calming down as well, but that stupid smile was still on his face. “It just kinda happened, just how I am.”

You tried to move his arms around but you couldn’t, his fingers were still tightly woven with yours. You just laughed and fell back into him, cuddling up again. “I had a friend's mom who was an actual masseuse, so…” you shrugged, “I actually know what I’m doing because she’d give me massages and walk me through her process.”

“You just want to take my shirt off, don’t you?” Bucky taunted.

“I want to make sure you’re not uncomfortable the entire time we hang out and for the rest of the week,” you giggled before snuggling into his arm again and watching the show that had come on randomly.

It took three days before Bucky came back for that massage.

You were hanging out again like normal and he was still trying to relieve the ache in his lower back. It was becoming sad to see him so uncomfortable so you kept reminding him of your excellent massage skills. After what you counted as his third groan of pain you just looked at him and soon enough he was asking you to turn around so he could take his shirt off and lie down.

Choosing your angle to stand with your back to him was a science, you wanted to make sure you had the mirror to look at but you also didn’t want to make it obvious. Part of you hated yourself for wanting to catch and peek at his body but it was infamous now, you just had to look.

And my god was it worth it.

It wasn't an obnoxious amount of muscle that made it seem like the strength drained from his brain and into his arms. The sleeper build comment was right, you had no idea. His chest made you feel comfortable and protected, the kind of chest you’d want to fall into when the subway starts up too quick and you’re not holding onto anything. His arms were, and you already knew this, amazing at covering so much surface area for hugs. They were secure and trustworthy, you knew that when you hugged him he had you; it also helped to remember when he’d whisper it in your ear.

“Okay,” his voice was muffled by pillows at the top of your bed.

You turned around and were greeted by his back which was also an amazing sight, the kind of body sculptors would use and their go-to subject if no one else was there. “I have some lotion on my hands,” you warned and pressed your palms onto his back and quickly began spreading the lotion around.

Though this wasn’t a proper table and he was resting on one cheek instead of face down you knew this was the best he’d get for a college kid. You started all over and slowly worked your way to focusing on his lower back. When you felt the knot you knew you found it, the thing was massive. The low groan Bucky let out was close to pornographic as you dug into him.

Something about seeing him grip the sheets, making his veins pop out, did something to you. At first you only really saw Bucky as another friend or a good member of the friend group you stumbled your way into. But the more you spent one-on-one the more you realized he was your perfect guy. Any guy can be perfect physically but his personality enhanced your view for him, it made you appreciate his looks even more.

His laugh always brought out the crinkle in his nose and those pretty teeth, the sound of him giggling was music to your ears and also was the perfect accompaniment to his squinted eyes or broad smile. The same with his little fist pumps he does when beating you at a game either around a group of friends of a video game, that stupid celebration he does every time causes him to flex his bicep but that’s secondary to the little circles he makes with his fist.

You kept working away and looking at his rested face once in a while, seeing his eyes closed and the relieved look on his face. There was something so pure about watching the guy your slowly obsession over fall into simple relaxation all because of you, it was a treat.

“How’s that?” you whisper, “Bucky?” trying to make sure your pressure wasn’t too hard for him you wanted to check in, but he had fallen asleep. With the opportunity in front of you, you reached out and placed your bent knuckles along his cheek, feeling the stubble tickle your fingers.

You found him blanket on his bed and covered him up so he wouldn’t get cold with his shirt off, before leaving you placed a kiss on his forehead before heading downstairs for a snack. You also wanted to give him space, let him sleep peacefully.

Steve was down there when you got there, another roommate of his cooking as you found Bucky’s section of snacks to choose from.

“Where’s Bucky?” Steve asked as he looked over his shoulder, not for long due to the football playing on the TV.

“Sleeping upstairs,” you ate the goldfish as you rounded the couch to watch the game.

He seemed taken aback at your casualness, “what did you guys do…?” he slowly looked over, most likely trying to see if your hair was disheveled or anything was blossoming on your neck.

“I gave him a massage,” you shrugged and fell back onto the couch, “his lower back has been killing from his workout a while ago.”

You could see Steve look over his shoulder to see if his roommate was also hearing this, he looked over at you again and squinted. “So- and correct me if I’m wrong here- you gave Bucky a massage and put him to sleep and now you’re down here getting a snack?”

“You would be correct,” you smiled, “would you like to do a once over of my neck for hickies or maybe rummage through the trash for condoms?” you sassed and plopped a few more goldfish in your mouth, “I was helping him.”

That statement made Steve look over his shoulder again. The roommate just shrugged with a smile before heading down to his room in the basement, noodles steaming from the cup. You just looked at Steve as he tried to piece together everything, it was actually funny to see him try to understand.

“Bucky doesn’t accept help from anyone,” Steve turned to face you, “it’s his thing to never want to be in debt with anyone when it comes to favours of any sort.”

“Well,” you just sighed, “I’ve been picking up on that too but I got to him I guess, he let me do something for him.” That was all you could say because you didn’t have a full background of why Bucky didn’t accept help from anyone you just knew he didn’t; the only clues you had were Winnie and her role in this.

“That’s good,” Steve quickly added, “I’m far from saying it’s bad, trust me, it’s just he’s been in a funk for a while when it comes to that stuff, it ebbs and flows.”

“Do you think he’ll ever tell me?” you asked as you watched the game, too embarrassed of the question to look at Steve. It seemed there was this vital piece of information that made Bucky who he was that was dangling right in front of your face, you were falling for him but that thing that made him him was out of reach. When Steve first made the statement he siad that this Winnie girl fucked him up which implied something bad much have happened and that can also mean something isn’t necessarily right. You were never going to fix Bucky but you did want to understand so you could help be a better friend to him and not unconsciously get in the way of his mindset.

Steve nodded, “he’ll definitely tell you,” he looked over and smiled, “I mean, you’re all he ever talks about, this kid is head over heels for you it’s just…some guys have hard times coming to terms with their past, he’ll get there though.”

“I know,” you nodded, “I’ll obviously never force it out but I do want him to be aware I’m here to listen, y’know?”

“He knows,” Steve laughed and stood up, going to the cupboard and grabbing a little snack for himself as well.

You took a deep breath before standing up and heading back upstairs, you were guessing Bucky was still fast asleep. When you opened the door you found him still laying on his bed in the exact same position, only now there was little snores coming from him.

With a pout you crawled back onto the bed and sat next to him, placing your hand on his back and sliding it down to his arm that was bent up so his hands could rest under the pillow. Your thumb gently rubbed his arm for a moment before pulling out your phone and scrolling through it.

The boredom ate away at you, instead of scrolling through your phone you went to his dresser to find some clothes you could change into so you could crawl under his sheets and sleep over. When you pulled open his top drawer you were met with his underwear and socks as well as a box of condoms tucked to the side, you just giggled to yourself at the painfully college male sight in front of you.

Something about wearing his boxers made your face heat up, that was a level of intimacy you wanted to reach with him one day but you didn’t know if it was time. Looking over your shoulder after a particularly loud snore you smiled to yourself and picked up a black pair, as you held it up you remember seeing the waistband sticking out of his jeans while he reached above his head to grab something for someone - you weren’t focused on his actions at the time.

Quickly slipping your pants off and pulling up the boxers you maneuvered to his closet, finding your favourite hoodie he wore very often. This moment of intimacy, moving around Bucky’s room while he wasn’t aware, caused a surge of confidence to shoot through you. Though you had never talked to Bucky about what the relationship between you was, you knew both of you could agree there was no room for girlfriends or boyfriends for either of you, this was the time to build the foundation for something better later. Having this idea of only being the girl in his room you took off your bralette and tucked it back in his top drawer, across from the condoms.

You didn’t choose this bra specifically but you were wearing a slightly lacey bralette, it was far from lingerie but the lace added something to it. Making sure you put it where it wouldn’t be obvious but also not hiding it, you grew giddy at the image of Bucky finding it.

Before getting in his bed you tugged and tugged the sheets under his body before managing to get the covers fully out from under him. You scooted in and pulled the sheets up to cover both of you, it seemed he really needed the sleep because nothing was waking him up, not even the little hug you gave him before turning off the lights and falling asleep beside him.

********

You were sitting in class aimlessly scrolling through your phone during your five minute break in your lesson, your art history professor was one of the best teachers you've ever had. She was funny but also well informed, she also had a big heart and didn’t need a eulogy as a form of proof if someone asked for an extension due to a funeral service that day.

Bucky: What the hell is in my dresser?

Without knowing the tone or context your heart dropped. You read the text with Bucky’s voice as if he was screaming at you, a hint of embarrassment in his tone. It was in your head, you didn’t know if it was a flirty tone either.

You: Just my bra, when I stayed over a couple of nights ago I changed into your clothes and just absentmindedly put my bra in your top drawer. I probably was just going through the motions and thought I was at my place.

Bucky: Can I pick you up from class, when does your lecture end?

Something about him completely disregarding your explanation - lie or not - gave you the worst feeling in the world. Ice poured down your back as you watched your prof make her way back up to the little stage she teaches on, you couldn’t keep the conversation going and just needed to deal with it later.

You: sure, it ends in an hour.

Bucky: I’ll be there.

Part of you didn’t want to leave when your lecture was over, you stayed in the hallway for a moment and thought of every single end of the world situation that could happen in the car. Bucky didn’t seem like a guy who hit women but your anxiety didn’t let you leave out that thought. He also didn’t seem like the guy who’d reveal he’d been dating another girl the entire time but who knows, he could be in a three year long relationship as you stood there.

With all these terrible situations playing out in your head you decided to face it head on, you’d walk in there and wouldn’t let him talk; just saying your apologies with your eyes closed before he could get a word out.

You walked down the steps and to the right to find Bucky’s car parked in front, coming up in the blindspot. You took a moment to take a deep breath, opening the door and sitting down as quickly as possible.

“Do you-”

“Bucky,” you put your hand out but kept your eyes casted down, “I am so unbelievably sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I don’t know if you already have a girlfriend and she found it and it caused a rift in your relationship, or if you like to sleep with other girls and one of them found the bra and got jealous so you lost your credit. I don’t know what made you angry but please, I am so sorry for what I did, I wasn’t thinking and I just put it in there and I-...” you just held your mouth open as you looked at the center console, you had run out of things to say. “Um,” you slowly looked up to see him frozen in shock, mouth still slightly open from when he began to say something, “sorry, you were about to say something?”

Bucky had to physically rattle his head to get out of the shock he was in, “do you want to get some coffee?”

Your eyes flicked up and it was your turn to stay frozen, “what?”

Bucky pulled his brows together, “I was making a joke about the bra thing,” he seemed concerned at your extremely anxious state, “I don’t care what you leave at my place, I really don’t,” normally someone would laugh in awkward situations but Bucky didn’t, it felt like it made everything worse. “Do you want coffee?”

“What is going on?” you couldn’t believe the situation you had put yourself in, nothing was making sense.

“Don’t get all mad at me,” now it was time for him to scoff, “you’re the one that thought I was sleeping with multiple women while I’m actively pursuing you, you idiot.”

“Don’t call me an idiot,” you huffed and faced the front of the car, crossing your arms after putting on your seatbelt.

Bucky laughed as he reached over and turned your face so you’d look at him, “that’s what you took from that statement?” He giggled, “babe, I just said I was pursuing you, does that just fly over your head?”

“Wait, what?” you grew more interested, “you want to date me?”

Bucky nodded, “have I not made it obvious?” You just shrugged and began to feel small, curling yourself further into the seat of his car, “I would like to take you out and I would like to continue to collect little pieces of you at my place while doing the same to yours, does that make sense?”

“Then what were those condoms for?”

“The same reason our house keeps tampons in our main bathroom,” Bucky put the car in drive and began working towards to coffee shop, “if you ever need a tampon you go and grab one, if Steve ever needs a condom and he’s out of stock in his room he comes to me,” Bucky looked at you at the stop light.

“Oh,” was all you could say.

“But let me get a few things straight,” Bucky placed his hand on your thigh, “I’m not sleeping with other girls, I do not have a secret girlfriend, I am not mad you left your bra in my dresser and I tried to make the text seem flirty, and finally,” he went at the green, “I really like you and I would like you to be my girl whenever we get there.”

“Okay,” you whispered, “I’d like that too.”

“Then it’s settled,” it was a short drive to the cafe, “let’s celebrate over coffee, shall we?”

You looked down at his hand on your thigh, “yeah, we shall.”

********

Your body felt like it was floating, your legs tingled and it was hard to catch your breath. As you laid on your back with your hands on your bare stomach Bucky worked his way back up from between your legs while leaving kisses on your hip bones as well as your stomach when you lifted your hands.

“How was that?” Bucky asked breathlessly, licking his lips before kissing you.

You kept your answer waiting, probably because he knew it already, kissing him slowly as he wanted. He was fully in control right now, setting the pace and tone of this entire afternoon. When he pulled away for a moment you complimented him like always, your hands reached up to his shoulders and tried to push him to lay on his back but he stayed strong.

“Flip over,” you whispered and ran your hands down his chiseled stomach, working your way up to his shoulders as your fingernails raked up his back.

“I’m all good,” he shrugged.

“But you’re painfully hard,” you tried again to get him to move but he just fell beside you on his stomach, not allowing you to touch him where he was in fact, extremely hard. “Come on, you always do this.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiled and pulled you down with him.

“I just want to do something nice for you, you never let me do anything for you or give you any favours,” in your head it seemed like a normal observation, it was true that Bucky didn’t let anyone do anything for him while he actively tried to help everyone in anyway he knew how.

That seemingly struck a nerve, “alright then,” he sighed and got up from the bed, heading into the bathroom as he left you naked and alone on his bed, the most lonesome feelings in the world.

“Where are you going?” you sat up, grabbing your shirt from the edge of the bed.

“Going to go jerk off in the shower,” he said as he closed the door.

“You can’t be serious,” you quickly stood and made your way to the bathroom that was connected to his room. You opened the door to see him already adjusting the tap before starting the shower. “Bucky, it’s the truth, it’s who you are but it’s the truth and as your girlfriend I want you to feel good, I want to give you pleasure like you do to me.”

You reached forward and placed your hands on his back, slowly working your way to his shoulders so you could turn him around. There looked like shame had overtaken him as he stood before you, though he was larger in size he shrunk himself down to look small. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, he didn’t know what to say.

“If I can’t give you head then can I come in the shower and wash your hair?” you didn’t even put on the shirt you grabbed, it was dropped to the floor. “Come on, honey, it’ll feel so good.”

Bucky only nodded before stepping into the hot shower with you. You made sure he got most of the stream on him, you stayed in front and made sure his hair was soaked before getting any product. You could see his tenseness at first but the moment your hands made contact with his scalp his eyes rolled back, his shoulders relaxed. In that moment it occurred to you that you had actually never seen his relaxed state before.

“Doesn’t this feel good?” you whispered, making sure you used your nails to really cleanse his scalp. “Doesn’t letting yourself relax and breathe feel so good, Buck?”

“Yeah,” it came out quiet and broken.

Your eyes were focused on his hair the entire time, making sure you lathered up and took your time. You needed to savor this moment for both you and Bucky, you wanted him to be relaxed for a s long as possible as well as taking advantage of doing him a favour; never knowing when your next opportunity would come up.

Gently tapped his forehead, you got him to lean back. The water immediately took off the top layer of suds but you needed to rub out the deeper layers as well. Your fingers scrubbed until the trail of water rolling down his body was pure water and had no shampoo in it.

“I’m going to- oh, my gosh Bucky,” you reached out and saw his red eyes, “when did you start crying?”

“I can’t remember,” he whispered and tilted his head down, the water pushed his hair to cover his eyes.

You pushed his hair back and pulled him out a step further so the water hit his back, your thumbs quickly wiped away a mixture of water and tears off of his face. He couldn’t stop crying as you tried your best to keep his face clear, “honey, what’s wrong?”

“I-” he choked on his own words, “I’ve never let my guard down this much,” he admitted before breaking off into harder sobs, you swooped in and pulled him tightly against your chest.

“I know it’s a new feeling,” you whispered, “but I want you to be able to do this all the time, let your guard down around me,” it was a shot in the dark by saying this but you did it anyways, “I promise I won’t hurt you, I’ll never take advantage of your guard down, love.”

It must have struck something because his knees buckled, his hands gripped tighter as he desperately kept you close to him. You didn’t know if you were making him feel better or worse but the act of letting go was needed for him, you kept holding him until there was nothing left to cry.

When he pulled away he stayed close, close enough that you kissed him under the gentle rain of the shower and played with his hair at the base of his scalp. His hands stayed on your back and held you close to him, making sure you were always touching him in some way. You tried to get a good read on him but he kept his head low and gently ran his hands up and down your sides, just feeling you.

“You’re very safe,” you whispered.

Bucky looked up at you for a moment before keeping his eyes down for a while, his brows pulled together and it seemed like he was trying to say something but didn’t know how. Both of you were open and vulnerable, naked in the hot shower. Tears threatened to spill over at the picture of Bucky crying in front of you.

“It was my mom,” Bucky whispered, “the one who broke me-”

“You’re not broken,” you quickly corrected, cupping his face and stroking his cheek with your thumb, “don’t say that.”

Bucky just shrugged, “I’m the oldest, I have four sisters younger than me - all different dads.” Bucky took a deep breath and pulled you closer, “my mom…Winnie was an interesting woman who never wanted to be pregnant but somehow always ended up pregnant anyways, it also didn’t help none of the guys wanted to stick around.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, giving him the easy opportunity to hug you if he needed to. Nodding along, you encouraged him to keep going.

“When my mom realized I could do the dirty work she would take advantage of that. I basically raised my sisters and somehow she managed to worm into my head,” he let out an angry laugh, “she’d say she loved me if I did things for her and I was a bad boy if I couldn’t or wouldn’t help her, she would say I didn’t love her if I didn’t change my sister’s diapers or bathe them while she sat on the couch.”

“Bucky,” you were the one to instigate the hug, “that’s awful.”

“And I’m aware of how I act now, all I’ve ever known is helping other people to make sure they love me,” he laughed again, “and it sounds stupid but I can never break out of the cycle, I always think I’m doing a good job or not being overbearing but then I start to second guess myself, you know?” he pulled away and looked at you, you quickly nodded. “I start to think about what people are saying behind my back and so I keep doing what I’m doing to stay on the safe side, I know it’s fucking annoying but I can’t help it.”

“It’s not annoying, baby” you leaned past him and turned off the water as it grew cold, “and if you’ll let me I can help with that, I don’t want to fix you or change you, I just want you to be comfortable in this relationship and not think I’m secretly mad at you because you didn’t get me a glass of water.”

Bucky nodded, stepped out of the shower with you and grabbed two towels. The conversation had naturally ended, Bucky didn’t have anything else to say. It was hard not to think he was overthinking again, the idea that you were causing him to stress out stressed you out. You were being truthful when you said you wanted him to be relaxed in this relationship, the last thing you wanted was underlying tension.

Back in bed Bucky rolled over and cuddled into your breasts, holding you closely as you watched his head rise with your breath. You had no idea if he was asleep or not, you knew he wouldn’t mind either way if you played with his hair.

“Thank you,” was all he whispered before falling asleep.

********

You all sat around the couch to watch another big game. Though you had no idea what was going on you were just as into it as Steve. Half time had just started and you all took a collective breath, the two college teams were close.

“Want another beer?” you asked as you stood up, looking at Bucky who was sitting on the couch. Steve and Nat had already filled up, you wanted another cooler and Bucky was almost done.

“Yeah,” he quickly downed his final sip of beer before handing the bottle off to you.

There was this anticipation in the room, you smiled and took the bottle and walked past Steve who was already looking at Bucky. The room seemed still when Bucky didn’t move, just pulling out his phone to look at something while the commercials played. Before making it into the kitchen you looked over your shoulder and saw the back of Bucky’s head, you bit your lip to suppress the smile that was growing.

The moment you got back and sat next to him Bucky took your hand and pulled it into his lap. He fidgeted with your finger before looking over at you, “how’d I do?” he whispered.

You laughed and leaned into his side, “how much did that make your cringe?”

“I was in pain for a moment,” he answered as fast as possible before giggling with you as you clink your glasses together and take a long swing. With a deep breath he looked back at the game and kept your hand in his. Bucky must have not been paying attention but his phone buzzed, illuminating and accidentally showing his lockscreen.

It changed from the photo of the two of you to a black background with white writing on it:

Trust me, she’s not mad at you.

********

Thanks for reading, feel free to reblog and tell me what you think!

Taglist: @jackiehollanderr @tylard-blog1 @readingbooksanddrinkingtea-blog @linzc-reader @hotleaf-juice @honeybunchesofbucky @seybox @yaszx @happyt0exist @striving4averagegirl @searchf0rtheskyline @aya-fay @wbyss @luvrsbian @albertdabuttler

4K notes · View notes

neonovember · 11 months

Note

Hello, uhm, so this MAY be an uncomfortable thing to request I’m not too sure. It’s totally totally okay if it is absolutely feel free to ignore this, but the way you write Carmen is so so comforting. I have this neighbor that lives downstairs from me, I’ve lived in my apartment for two years but the past 4 months with this guy has been hell. I live in the U.K. and the people that own the building and the police don’t view my situation as anything dangerous or serious, despite the fact I have made numerous complaints and even the other neighbors in my building have complained about him. But he targets me the most and bangs on my door at ungodly hours and threatens the most horrible stuff because I’m a woman living alone. I’m honestly terrified but unless he physically does something there’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry for the sob story but usually I always try and just picture Carmy as something comforting to help through this until I can be safe, would it be okay to request something like Carmen finding out about his gf losing sleep and constantly being terrified and deciding to take matters into his own hands, and demanding she moves in with him and helps pack her stuff because he will NOT stand for that shit (again totally 100% okay if you don’t feel comfortable responding)

oh my god anon, I'm so deeply sorry that you have to deal with such a shitty situation, and the fact that you have to wait to be physically attacked before the police can do anything? Fuck the justice system and fuck law enforcement. Don't every feel scared to send a request to make your day or week or fucking month better, it's why I'm here, and the fact that my writing can make you feel even a little better is the greatest gift i could ever ask for. God I just hope you're able to remain safe, call a friend or family to keep them posted in case anything happens, I'm so very sorry honey :(

Broken bones and soup

carmen berzatto x reader

warnings: misogyny, violence, feral!carmen makes an appearence, angst, horrible neighbours, angst, teeth rotting fluff, carmy feeding you

w/c: 5.3k

a/n: this was hard to write, i really wanted to do it right by you anon, and when have i ever written carmen without him breaking someones face?

The falling sun encapsulated the cerulean sky, exploding against the horizon in heated shades of orange, crimson and pink. The trail back to your apartment complex wasn’t long, but it gave enough time to bask in the warmth of evenings bathed in sunlight. It also conveniently enabled you to tell yourself you had gotten your sun for the day, rather than having to swallow pills you hated to swallow.

It was muscle memory however, your legs moved with the familiar comfort of the sidewalk, forgetting the stomach turning realisation of what had awaited you back at your apartment.

It had been a couple months, four maybe 5, you didn’t really want to count the days having a violent neighbour moved in directly down your apartment. The other tenants who you've grown to know collectively bristled with the annoyance of a 30 something year old filling the usual peaceful nights with crashes and yells of broken plates and incoherent obscenities.

When you had raised the issue to the landlord and even to the police, you had been shut down with a shrug of the shoulders.

‘We can notice him with a noise complaint, but if he aint hurting anyone we can’t do much’.

That had made you laugh a little then, before you had been close to bawling your eyes out and ripping out your hair. Sure he was loud, your neighbours from the other side of the apartment complex could attest to that, but it was so much more than loud fucking music, and somehow, you had bared the brunt of his violence. It was targeted, you knew it, and your legs began to shuffle at the thought of coming home to another violent outbursts at your door.

You hadn't gotten any proper sleep for the past 4 months, waking up to loud banging at your door, and declarations of brutality he whispered through your keyhole. It was all empty threats, those men in clad uniform had told you when you woke up shaking with fear as he screamed taunts of murder from below, you had run out in your pyjamas and bunny slippers and they had told you they couldn't help you.

There were not empty threats, and this wasn’t the hundreds of true crime shows you had binged, you felt it in your bones, you were a woman living with yourself for god sake, he was going to break down your door one day and hurt you, and you couldn't do anything about it. You felt paralysed by the helplessness of it, forcing yourself to stay up past 12, the burn of your tired eyes forced open by the blue light of your phone, in case he tried breaking in. You had begun to keep a bat near your bed, a knife in the drawer of your bedside, and you felt fucking insane. Noone had made a major problem out of it, and yet you felt like he was one bad day from a murderous rampage.

Carmen could tell something had been wearing on your shoulders, the way your eyes blinked slowly, and the syrup slow movements of your limbs when you had visited the Beef not long ago. You couldn't bear to tell him, your past relationships had taught you enough not to unload all your problems onto another person, but it had gotten bad. You had started getting notices of concern from your boss, asking if you were alright, telling you how your performance had been declining.

You had quickly shut down any looks of concern thrown at you, this was something you had to deal with yourself, you didn’t want anyone, especially another woman to be faced with the brunt of his violence. You guzzled caffeine and energy drinks like it was water, and your limbs jittered with the rush of adrenaline until the peak had dropped and you felt like your stomach was ripping itself apart.

You braced yourself as you turned the corner into your apartment complex, keeping your head down, and going through the carpack to avoid the hallway that was right next to his door. You felt your stomach drop, your keys pressed between your knuckles and you flickered your eyes up to the door of his apartment. You watched it like a hawk, ready to flee at any sign of opening, and when you had finally made it to the elevator, you breathed a sigh of relief like no other. The air suddenly fills your lungs once again.

Your phone buzzed in your jean pocket, and you reached out to grab it, the screen illuminated by Carmen’s text. You felt a tingle of glee shoot through you, biting back a smile at the thought of seeing him today.

“You still coming today for the family dinner?”

The beef had begun a sort of tradition, every last Friday of the month, they would close early and hold a sort of family dinner right out back near the tables and chairs. Everyone of the crew’s family and friends were invited to join, some bringing a plate or a drink or two. It was the highlight of the month, and you hadn't missed a Friday ever since Carmen and you had become something more than close friends.

You typed out a quick reply with a tongue in your cheek, as the elevator doors opened, you didn't look up right away, walking with your head down as you tucked your phone back into your pocket. It was a fault on your end, you should have looked up, at least then you could have braced yourself as your neighbour stood stationed near your door with a cheshire smile stretching ominously across his face.

You wondered if you could run back into the elevator, but the doors had closed well before and you feared turning your back to him was an even worse fate. You walked towards him, plastering on a smile that didn't look even a little believable.

“Something I can do for you?” You ask, your voice heightened by a mix of fear and false confidence

“Hear you've been complaining about me” The man replies with a smile, his hair slicked back, the shadow of a badly shaven skin spiking up. His shirt reeks of sweat and stains of spilt takeaway and you have to take a tentative step back to escape the stench radiating off of him.

“Yeah, you might not realise it, but you have been a bit- uh loud, and the loud banging on my walls?” You prouch him, and his eyebrows rise in surprise, shaking his head with a laugh that horrified you.

“Am I scaring you?” The man replies

You swallow as your eyes flicker to his burnt hazel ones, they stare down from above, almost mocking in the way they forced you to answer.

“Uh, uhm- well, a lot of us got work in the morning, and I can’t wake up if you're making a lot of noise during the night”

“Oh, is that right?” The man asks, scratching a hand across his jaw

“Well no one's been the one complaining but you” The man replies

“I don't think so many of us-”

“You saying I’m a liar??” The man suddenly shouts, and you can help yourself stepping back a distance quickly

The man watches the way you distance yourself away from him, his eyes flicker to the keys poking out from between your fingers and he bites back a laugh.

“So you are scared of me, liar.” The man spits out with venom, before stepping towards you, caging you to the wall as he whispers near your ear

“You think fucking keys are going to stop me? A little lady like you living here all by yourself?” The man digs his fingers into your sides, until you howl out and retch yourself away from him, you reach for your right side, holding the skin above your rib cage that had begun to swell and bruise.

“See how easy that was? A fucking pretzel in my hand” The man calls out with a smile, before walking back around the hallway corner with such ease and comfort that told you he knew the police wouldnt do shit.

Your hand shakes as you shove your key into your door, you have to hold your own hand to put it in, before shouldering your way through your door with wince, and dropping your bag and belongings to the floor.

You rush into your bathroom, undressing before your eyes flicker to your mirror, seeing the red rash of irritation and the start of a purple imprint of his claws shoved into the skin below your ribcage. You wince as you try to soothe it, the salty tears breaking down your waterline, you can't stop, the wretched sobs of your helplessness echoing off the bathroom walls.

You climb into the shower, sliding down to the bottom as the tears shake through you, you hug your knees to your chest, letting the warm water combine with your salty tears, so they become one, and you know longer now how terrified you are. You stay in the shower like this for a bit, letting the warmth and steam wiggle your body from its stone encapsulation.

You can hear the familiar jingle of your phone ringing from where you had haphazardly left it, and the memory of today's dinner comes rushing in. You had nearly forgotten, and whilst you were terrified to leave your home and go back into the hallway where it had happened, you couldn't let Carmen down.

So you had gotten up, in the same way you had fallen down, and tried to scrub away the smell of his day-old cigarettes and sweat until your skin burned, poking your head through a clean shirt and a skirt that hid the painful purple splotch that had begun to spread across your side.

Entering your quaint kitchen, you can’t stop your arm as it reaches for the brown liquid stored in that old glass bottle Sugar had told you was a century old. You didn't have a little liquid courage to make it past your goddamn threshold.

You downed it in a gulp, reaching for your bag and a pocket knife, just in case. The reality of that decision broke you a little, when did you start needing to armour yourself?

Your phone buzzed from its position edged between the living room couch, it was Carmen, again, telling you he was outside. Carmen had begun to ceremoniously show up to your apartment as the autumn had begun to bleed into the winter nights, and the sunlight had stretched until darkness hit by 5 in the afternoon. Any other time you would have chastised him till the point where he would stop, but now, with the reality of your neighbour, you felt a relief wash through your body at the thought of being close to him. You also don’t doubt he would have shown up anyway, ignoring your requests in the way he does when he thinks it's his responsibility.

You wouldnt say you had a lot of experience in relationships under your belt, but something spoke to you from within, carmen was something special, this was special, sacred in the way destiny was, and you shooke with the relentless fear of fucking it up. And scaring him away with your problems seemed to be on the very top of that list

You shake the thought from your head as you shut the door quietly, take a brisk pace as you walk but kind of run to the elevator. A neighbour you knew well stood near the doors, his dark auburn hair falling in front of his eyes, he nodded to you with a silent smile. He kept to himself most of the time, and you didn't know much about him, just that he always was tugging a sleeve down his left arm, but he always went out of his way to give you some sort of greeting.

The air between you was silent, as you were waiting for the ping of the elevator to drop to your door, and you heard a shuffling near you, your eyes watching the way he coughed and stared at you from the corner of your peripheral vision.

“Heard something out in the hallway, it wasn’t him again was it?” The man replied, concerned about lacing his features as his eyes seemed to be fixated on the way you leaned on one side of your body a little.

“Uh no, it’s- it’s alright, I guess it was my dues you know? Dealing with a shitty neighbour at least once” You reply with a tight smile, trying to poke fun at the very depressing thought.

The man nodded with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, your neighbours had known that he was loud, knew that you had dealt the worst of it being right above him, but they were clueless to his taunts and threats that he said into your door at night. You think the man next to you had an idea though, the way his eyes scanned anything like he was always assessing, always calculating the world around him.

It was also because your neighbour was nowhere to be found whenever he was around, you whispered a prayer of thanks that he was taking the elevator down with you, with his sweatpants and top, it was like he knew, a silent nod of protection.

Before you could open your mouth to whisper a thanks, the doors of the elevator had opened, a tired mom and her two energetic kids passed between you both. It was funny, you could see yourself in her, the drag of dark circles and the hunch of her shoulders mirroring your own.

You knew the very shakily painted on makeup did little to hide the exhaustion on your face and you rushed to enter the elevator to escape the thought. The motion of the elevator moving down nauseated you a little, churning your stomach in the way it always did with motion, but your apartment wasn’t big and soon enough the music of the elevator turned to a halt as the doors opened up to the ground floor.

You could see the headlights of Carmen's car through the automatic doors of your complex, and you gave your neighbour a smile before rushing to jump into the comfort of Carmen and his very, very warm car.

-- -

The car ride to the beef has been silent, just the syrupy beat of jazz from the car speakers and the burn of Carmen’s gaze searing a hole through you, you feared if you caught his eyes and the look in them the entire interaction today would tumble from your tongue.

You couldn’t ruin today, it was tradition, you had just begun to become folded into it. The joy of Tina calling your name for a hug, the talks about the new pastry ideas with Marcus, Sydney’s laughter, it soothes you like a balm, and you were sure the nausea crawling through your stomach would dissipate the second you entered.

But it didn’t, the beautiful lantern lights from outside the Beef glittered against the Chicago moonlight and the smell of Italian meatballs engulfed your senses and you still felt like you were being ripped apart from the inside.

You had said your hellos to everyone, biting back a yelp as Tina’s hand pressed against the bruise on your side, and nodding to Richie’s rambles whilst you felt outside of your own skin.

Your mind kept replaying the scene of him lunging st you, bristling your skin till goosebumps spread through, until your mind was exhausted from fear and well, fucking exhaustion and Carmen had to call your name too many times to rip you from your thoughts.

“Hey, you alright?” Carmen asks with that soft honey tone he keeps for you.

You nod with a smile, and Carmen’s eyes shift towards your plate untouched. It was your favourite, a twist on Osso Buco and yet it laid un moving, Carmen knew it, you did too, and you held back tears as Carmen simply nodded, not sure if he was overstepping his boundaries.

It was the first lick of the start of something, the both of you, the bloom of a companionship Carmen felt was destined, like it was seared into the sand years before you both had even come into existence. And Carmen was new to this, and that opened up a whole can of worms, he didn’t want to fuck it up, he didn’t want to think about fucking it up, but god did he always seem to fuck it up.

You reached across the table to grab the jar of water, your shirt riding up without you noticing. Tina’s eyes widen at the peek of a purple imprint from under your shirt and she has nearly drops her fucking fork

“Baby? What happened to your side?” Tina replies with concern, her voice is quiet but the tables loud boisterous conversations begin to slow down.

You tug your shirt down, and you burn with guilt like you had been caught with this big secret. Carmen immediately looks towards your side, his eyes scanning the way you since a little as your finger brushes against it.

“Nothing, uh um I fell” You don't even believe yourself

“That looks more than something you get tripping over your feet darling, did something happen?”

“What? What’s she saying honey? What did you see Tina?” Tina’s gaze flutters to Carmen, and there’s a pause like she’s assessing whether it was Carmen’s doing before the reality of who he is hits her. It was ingrained in every woman, and Carmen wouldn’t be an exception. Even for a second.

“Looks like someone’s goddam fist imprinted into her skin”

The restaurant is completely quiet now, and your head falls to your uneaten plate of veal, they look towards you in concern hearing the end of Tina’s words.

Carmen lifts your shirt, and you don’t stop him, the reality of your attack is shown right there in front of him, the imprint of a large hand bruising purple and blue.

Carmen’s eyes burn into the skin, his fists shaking as he remains silent, the rest of the family look on in horror, whispers of “holy fuck?” and eyes seeing the way Carmen practically vibrates, like he’s a second away from exploding.

“..Who did this?”

“It was my fault- I”

“Who did this baby? Who hurt you?” Carmen replies with an exhaled murmur.

“I’m, uh, Uhm- he- oh Carmen” You can’t get the words out, they’re stuck in your throat and you can’t get them out. You feel trapped, your body is sweating like you’re caged, like you're wading through a current and you're losing yourself to the weight of it, your breakdown on display for the whole world to see.

You blink back tears as Carmen tilts your chin to face him, and the look on his face, the look of distraught and fear that blossoms across his features un tetheres the tightly wrapped self control you had formed.

And Carmen scoops you up into his arms so that the entire family doesn’t have to see you break into his shoulder.

His soothing words are like a balm to your distress and he walks you, bridal style to the first aid cabinet, sitting you down on the counter, wiping away your tears as his fingers shake and his throat bobs with a tight swallow. He hastily tugs your shirt, kissing back the howls of pain as he whispers “I know, I know baby girl, I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry.”

His soft fingers press gently against the bruise as he rubs a heating ointment across it, he wraps a warm compress around it as bandage and his eyes are avoiding your own as he focuses his fingers on your skin.

“Carmen?” You whisper, the hiccups of tears resounding from your throat, Carmen reaches for a painkiller, placing it in your palm with a whisper of affirmation, he gently tips your head back as he pours water into your mouth, and you swallow it quickly, before looking back at him.

“Carmen? Please” You reply, had you done it, had you ruined everything?

“I can’t look at you because I fear I might break, and- and I can’t right now okay darling? I have to find, I have to find who did this, and I need to make it right, hm? I need to make sure your safe because god my heart is outside of my chest and I can’t feel anything but fear” Carmen replies with a tight low voice, his fists shake as he pressed them into the counter beside your thighs, but he looks up to meet your gaze anyway, and he smiles tightly as the tears stream down.

“Oh Carmen, this isn't on you, you couldn't have possibly known” You reply, wiping a hand across his cheeks.

“How can you say that? I am your, I am meant to protect you, and you, you come limping in without me noticing, fucking Tina saw it before I could, and i hate myself for it” Carmen replies, his cerulean blues shining bright against the shine of tears.

“Who did this, someone at work? A guy on the street?” Carmen replies and you flick away from his gaze, hand falling to your lap as your tongue burns with the desire to just say it all.

“You've got to tell me baby girl, you have to know I've got to make it right, I won’t sleep till I do. '' Carmen replies with a pained cry, like his heart is breaking from the thought of letting this go un avenged. And it's the tortured look on his face, it's the shake of his limbs like he wants to destroy and burn the entire world around him till he finds whoever has done this that uncurls your tongue and lets everything out in the open.

“What? This has been going on for months? Why didn’t you tell me?” Carmen replies, his thumb rubbing soft circles across your thigh.

“Didn’t want to scare you away Carmen, i love-i I like you a lot, more than I have anyone and I didn't want to fuck it up and unload all my problems onto you like a dumpster” You reply, and it sounds stupid when you say it out loud, and when Carmen looks up at you in disbelieved confusion.

“Huh? Oh sweet girl, I’m meant to help you bear it all, that’s why I'm here, and the idea of you thinking I'll love you any less, that I won't help you because of something like this haunts me. I’m meant to protect you yeah? That’s my fucking job, and I’ve failed it” Carmen replies with a grunt.

“No one has said anything like that to me” You say, eyes looking up to him, you weren't shocked, but you weren't, were not shocked, never had you experienced this, this burning adoration for another person, this soft warmth that burst through you at the sound of Carmen's voice promising his devotion, promising his unyielding protection. It armoured you more than a pocket knife ever could.

Carmen presses a soft kiss to your head, before shuffling around the kitchen, walking back into the dining tables, hushing out replies of ‘she's okay’ before coming back in with your things under his arm.

“What are you doing?” You reply in question, as he slowly picks you up with an arm, and gently places you back down. His eyes are constantly flickering to your side, like he’s torturing himself with the image of the first time he saw the horrific bruise across your side.

He had never felt true fear until then, the shatter of his heart beneath his breast as he realises you had gotten hurt and he didn't even fucking realise. Nothing had mattered but your safety and he scared himself with how much his body shook with a desire to destroy the person responsible.

“I’m driving back to your apartment, where you're going to grab your necessities, whilst I pay a visit to your little neighbour downstairs. You’re staying with me, for however long,” Carmen replies with a sneer, walking you through the back door, which you were all too thankful for, you couldn't bear to see the look on the crew’s faces if you had to walk back in.

“Carmen you can’t” You reply rushed, as Carmen slid you into the passenger seat, before clicking on your seat belt for you. He cocks his head, before raising his eyebrows

“Oh, I can’t? Honey, the police don’t do their job and my baby get’s fucking hurt. Nah, that doesn't work for me” Carmen replies, before rushing to enter the driver's seat, shifting the gear into drive before speeding down the city streets.

His focused on the road, his face unblinking and he grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white, you can’t stop looking at him, his gorgeous under the moonlight of the skies, his cheeks crimson from his tears, his cerulean blues calling to you like the sea, and the curl of his blonde hair falling like waves.

The view of your apartment complex comes into your vision as Carmen turns into the carpark in one swift move, you can’t stop the shake of your fingers and Carmen wants to slam his first into the steering wheel when he notices.

“You alright?” Carmen replies “You can stay here, I’ll grab whatever you need”

You want to stay, want to remain in the safety of his sleek tinted windows, but you want to face it too, and somehow that need is more important, he doesn’t get to win, no fucking way.

You unclip your seat belt, opening the door as you turn to him “You going to show me how you protect me or what?”

Carmen bites back a smile, god he was so fucking proud. He could tell you were scared shit less, and yet you fought through that fear, and god you mesmerised him. You were stronger than he could ever be, and he wanted to take that burden from you, carry it himself so you didn't have to.

Carmen jogs to the back of the car, reaching into the boot before the clunk of wood on gravel meets your ears. Carmen nods towards you, as he grips a bat under his arm

“He puts a bruise on you and i break all his fucking bones” Carmen replies, and you can’t stop the joy that image brings you

Carmen walks you to your apartment, waiting outside like a hawk, his bat tight against his grip as he watches the hallways, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, you feel infinitly and utterly safe.

You throw your toiletries into a bag, grabbing a few nights of clothes and your work shoes. You eyes flicker around your apartment, it had been home to you for the past 4 years, and yet it felt so foreign to you now, you had grown to attest this place, this place you had filled with so much of yourself, and you hate him so much at that moment, for making you feel this way about a place you had once loved.

You leave your apartment with the door shut closed.

Carmen carries your bag and places them back into the back seat of the car, and as he begins to walk towards the apartment of your neighbour you reach a hand out to stop him.

“Honey, I’ve got to-” Carmen begins before you shut him quickly

“I want to watch” You reply quietly, and Carmen’s eyes flicker, before lacing his fingers into yours, as you both knock on his door.

There's a grumble before the clank of a chain slides open, and his face appears as the door opens to him, you can see the illuminated light of his TV glaring, the floor covered with pizza boxes and beer cans. You see in real time, how his face morphs from anger into fear, his eyes dropping as he sees the way Carmen practically shakes, and the man isn’t able to let out a word, a protest or wail of a plea before the crack of Carmen's wooden bat swings through the air.

-- -

“Are you sure he isn't dead?” You reply, as you dip a washcloth into warm water, wiping away the blood across Carmen’s neck

“He isn’t going to die if I wasn’t the one causing it, besides, if he does, that’s God finishing off the rest of it”. Carmen replies, raising his face so that you cleaned the last of the streaks of blood splattered across his jaw.

Carmen reaches for your hands, pressing a kiss to the top of them as he looks at you in that way like he yearns for you to be closer.

“You need sleep, but first you need to eat, yeah?” Carmen replies, shushing your protests and he carries you to his room in his arms, after he notices the exhaustion in your limbs. It’s dark, illuminated only by the wall to ceiling windows that look into the busy city streets and light up sky scrapers.

The sheets are strewn across the bed, haphazard like Carmen had rushed to get them off of him in the early mornings. Carmen slides you into them, tucking you within the soft pillowy blanket, sitting on the edge as he caresses your cheek softly.

He leaves for a moment, rushing to make you something to eat, his skin crawling with a need to feel you against him, nearly tripping over himself as he walks back into his room with a bowl of soup and a bottle of water.

Carmen sits next to you again, pressing spoonfuls of soup into your mouth and wiping the edges ceremoniously as you rest against the headboard half asleep.

You don’t notice the way he looks at you, like he's trying to memorise every dip and curve of your face, his fingers clutching the spoon tight like he’s going to break if he doesn't hold you against him.

“Honey?” Carmen replies hushed

“Hmh?” You reply, your eyes heavy as the comfort of Carmen's warmth spreads through you.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again, you tell me everything okay? Everything” Carmen replies pained, like the events that transpired somehow still were not resolved, like breaking the man's legs wasn't enough for him.

“Okay” You reply, and Carmen places the dishes onto the bedside table, leaving it to the morning because he can't keep you away from him any longer.

Carmen joins you in the bed, the left side of his bed finally taken by somebody for the first time in a long time. Tugging you against him, Carmen curls your body to lay against his chest, his fingers softly gracing your back, soft circles that had begun to lull you to a sleep you hadn’t felt in months, years even.

The beat of Carmen's heart joins with yours, together and entwined like how it was always meant to be, why had Carmen waited so long? Why had he let time pass without you tucked under him, safe within his arms and away from all the horrors of the world.

It’s only when Carmen notices the shift in your breathing, falling into a soft exhale before he even lets the whispers of sleep grip him within its grasps, his shoulders finally release from its tensed state once he knows you've finally fallen into a sleep that had been kept from you.

“You don’t know how much I love you baby girl, it fucking scares me, but I’ll keep reminding you until infinity if I have to, until you know it deep down like I do” Carmen mumbles out, his eyes falling heavy and you grips you against his chest.

You don’t really know how, but even between the state of sleep and consciousness, you hear him, and you whisper between the space in your bodies, that you already do.

1K notes · View notes

avenging-fandoms · 1 year

Note

hiii can i pls make a request for pedro pascal angst?? like maybe, pedro has been getting real distant to yn and yn is worried and tries to approach him but he ends up lashing out because he’s stressed out with work and stuff - and yn like has a moment of woah where they can’t swallow what he just said and pedro feels bad so he comforts them afterwards. thank uuu <3

You couldn't remember the last time Pedro slept in bed with you. He would come home late and fall asleep on the couch. He could make it to the bedroom, but he chooses not to. He doesn't even know how many nights you spent crying because he chose to do that.

You tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, knowing he's been working hard. But he's not the only one who works and wasn’t the only one who was tired. You just wanted your boyfriend back.

Pedro would make small talk, and kiss you maybe once a day. You didn't know what you did wrong. You tried so hard to not be in his way and even help out, but he didn't budge.

You had a great opportunity to talk to him. Pedro was sitting on the couch on his phone, he was calm. You took a deep breath and sat a few cushions away from him, and he just glanced from the side of his eye.

"Pedro.. can I talk to you about something?" you ask softly and he shrugged. "I don't know what I have done to make you not want to be around me.." your voice started to shake and your eyes welled. Fuck. You were never good with confrontation. "But I just want you to tell me so we can fix.."

"No, Yn. There is no discussion that needs to be had. I’m fine, you’re fine, it’s fine” he snapped and you look at him angrily with tears in your eyes as you sat up and his eyes were still on his phone.

"You don't get to tell me how I'm feeling, Pedro. I don't feel loved, you barely come to bed anymore. You don't kiss me, come home for lunch, anything. I'm hurt, Pedro. Why are you-"

His head snapped towards you, standing up as his fingers tightly holding his phone as he looked at you with cold, dark eyes.

"Enough!" he raised his voice. You flinched. This had never happened before, and you were terrified to see your sweet boyfriend being such an angry person. "You don't get it, do you? How fucking exhausting it is having to film different projects at the same time, interviews, people on the fucking internet talking about whatever you do. You work in an office, our jobs aren't the same. You will never get it. Stop blaming me for everything. A relationship has 2 people" he fell back on the couch. "Just.. leave me alone and stop annoying me"

You felt like you couldn't breathe. You got up from the couch and headed to the bedroom, slamming the door and falling on his pillow and sobbing. The smell of him is gone. It was like he was dead and you were living with his ghost.

You bawled quietly into his pillow, curled into a ball as everything hurt. You sat up, knowing that's now how you should be spoken to, no matter what.

You grabbed a bag from your closet, grabbing shirts and whatever off the hangers all while crying all over again about what he said. You squatted on the floor in front of the bed with a hand on your forehead, hand on the bed as you supported yourself.

You loved your job and Pedro knew you loved your job too. You always told him his lifestyle would never be for you but you loved supporting him whenever you could. He used it all against you.

As soon as you left the room, Pedro's eyes trained on the wall as his phone screen dimmed. Every word was poisoned from his mouth as he spoke to you, all while yelling. That's not how he wanted to react, but he was so over exhausted and sad he couldn't help it, his mouth moved faster than his brain.

Pedro left his phone on the couch as his bare feet carried him to your bedroom. He could hear your sobs from outside of the room and he closed his eyes. This was his fault. In your 5 years of being together, he never yelled at you. It wasn't Pedro, this wasn't Pedro.

He grabbed the handle and twisted it slowly, pushing it open and saw you sobbing next to a pile of your clothes stacked in your bag. His heart fell on the floor.

"Yn.." his voice was inaudible. You turn around and glare at him, standing up. His eyes warmed up, and his eyebrows furrowed with his puppy dog look.

"Don't. How dare you speak to me like that?" you cry and he bows his head, picking it up and stepping towards you. "You yelled at me like you were a prison guard. And attacked my job! Are you serious?" you couldn't catch a breath between words and sobs.

Pedro's arms wrap tightly around you as your hands cover your face. "I'm so sorry I yelled at you and I'm so sorry I said those things. I know it's no excuse but my brain was so full of everything I had to do the past couple of months." his hands rub your back and you drop your hands.

"I know that, Pedro. I understand. But why have you been treating me like I was just someone you live with?" your sticky cheeks held pieces of your hair and Pedro pulled them off as he held your face.

"I don't want you to see me like that. But I know how shitty I've been, and I'm so sorry for everything" the sadness in your eyes broke his heart and he softly kissed your nose. "I have a month break next week. Why don't we find somewhere beautiful to travel for 2 weeks of that month, hm?"

You nod, a soft pout still on your lips. "But for now, how can I make up for what I did?"

You smirk. "You put all my clothes away while I take a bath. And you have to make it" Pedro chuckles and kisses the corner of your mouth and you placed your hands on his stomach.

Pedro headed to the bathroom and you followed, sitting on the toilet seat cover as you watched him prepare your bath. His iPad with your favorite show, bubbles and bath bombs, even petals.

He turned around and still on his knees, grabbed the back of your thighs and kissed from above your knee to the hem of your shorts, never once breaking eye contact. "You are the most beautiful flower in the gardens of the Heavens" his voice was hoarse, and bit of a whimper slipping off certain letters.

"I'm very close to forgiving you" you let out a hum as you sigh when Pedro pushes up your shirt and kisses below your stomach. Your hand gripped the hair at the back of his neck as his nails scratch down your back.

Pedro stands up and takes off your shirt, mentally moaning at the sight of you wearing no bra. "Your bath awaits, princesa" he kisses your neck and holds your hand as you step in and relax, hitting play on your show. "Enjoy, my flower"

Pedro leaves the bathroom and leaves the door open just a crack. He put the pile of clothes on the bed and sorted them, humming songs as he hung up your shirts and put away pants and socks.

You finished your bath and dried off, leaving the bathroom with his iPad and he laid on the bed with new clothes waiting for you at the foot of the bed, glass of wine next to your side of the bed.

You smile as you get dressed, combing your hair and jumping in bed next to him. His arms wrap around your back and your face squishes in his chest. "I'm sorry, for everything"

Pedro's thumb touched your chin and you smile, pushing your nose against his. "I forgive you. Now, I need you to make up for all of those kisses I never got"

Pedro smirked and grabbed your face, kissing you over and over against as you giggle. Soon the kisses turn slow and your arms wrap around his neck. This is was you needed, craved for months. You waited for this Pedro to come back, your Pedro.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal imagines #pedro pascal blurb #pedro pascal blurbs #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal angst #rpf #real person fiction

462 notes · View notes

iguessthisisanewobsession · 1 year

Text

It takes a mob part 3

Part one

previously

“This place is a dump Bill.”

“Hey! Excuse me if I wasn’t expecting company!”

Bill grimaced as he pushed a couple takeout boxes of the kitchen island. Renting alone was difficult enough; maybe he hasn’t swept or scrubbed in a while. He’s been busy, sue him!

The kid didn’t seem to mind, he was too busy chewing on a rabbit ear to complain.

Ken grimaced as he bounced the squirt,

“Forget company Bill, you got an entire war in your kitchen.”

“It you’re going to complain so much about it then lend a hand?”

“Oh no man, you forget. I’m holding Danny, this is an important job! Can’t have him crawling around here and picking up diseases. This is much more important than being your busboy.”

Bill raised a brow, watching as Marv snuck up behind Ken and scooping up the kid with a chuckle.

“Oh yeah? Looks like you’ve been relieved. Hop to it bus boy.”

“Marv!!”

“Didn’t want Danny to pick up your garbage attitude.”

Bill held back a groan as the two dumbasses started a game of keep away with the boy.

He was tired. What was supposed to be a quick beer on a night off has turned into a four am game of house.

The chaos paused when a whimper broke into the air.

“Look what you did Marv!”

“Me!? Ken you didn’t have to-“

The kid was fully bawling his eyes out and the two jackasses where too wrapped in their pissing match to notice.

Grabbing the boy from the two of them, Bill leveled the with a glare as he gently bounced the kid on his hip.

“He ain’t a toy you bozos! Be glad you didn’t drop him and crack his head open!”

Not breaking his glare Bill made his way to his couch and lowered himself to the cousins with a weary sigh,

“I’m cashing in the IOU’s. You two idiots get to clean the apartment.”

Bill raised his unoccupied hand at Ken’s sputtering,

“I’m not fucking finished numb nuts. You two are goin’ to clean and think about what you did. The tyke is barely old enough to raise his head! I don’t care if he’s a meta or not. The only reason he’s here and not at the Wayne foundation is because it’s safer with us than in the goddam system! The second that changes I’m not afraid to pack him up and take him there myself. Am I clear?”

Ken let out an annoyed “yes sir.”

Marv for his part looked properly chastised.

“Alright, now get.”

Letting out another sigh, Bill turned his attention to Danny.

“Let it out kid, just let it out.”

With a little bounce Bill brought his feet up and tried to get himself comfortable leaning against the arm rest.

‘The kid has a set of healthy lungs at least...’

“I’m really sorry you got to deal with a couple lugs like us. If it makes you feel any better, Kenny’s 19 and Marv has only handled older youngin’s before. There’s a learning curve.”

Bringing the squirming tot to his chest Bill began to run his palm up and down his back, mildly marveling at how much he could cover in one small swipe.

“Truth is, I’m probably no better. At least those two have excuses. If I fuck up don’t hold back on old Billy alright? Lord knows I can get my head up my ass at times.”

Danny let out a little hiccup as his crying petered out. Glancing down, Bill switched to rubbing a small circle with his thumb as the baby’s eyes began to droop.

‘Huh.. I thought his eyes were blue?’

Bill gave a mental shrug. It probably had something to do with his meta-abilities. God forbid if he drew the line in the sand over an eye color change.

The kid was fighting to stay awake; it was kind of adorable watching him try to keep his eyes open.

That being said a sleeping baby was easier to deal with than awake one.

‘Ok, think Bill, think. What would old man do?’

Glancing around, he made a face.

‘They won’t hear me over their own swearing...’

Clearing his throat, Bill hummed as he tried to recall some old words.

“Go to sleep you littl’ baby.. Go to sleep you littl’ baby. Your mama’s gone away and your daddy’s goin’ to stay.. Didn’t leave nobody but the baby..”

Bill kept humming as he tried to recall the next verse.

He hadn’t heard the song since he was a tyke himself, sue him.

He could almost feel the moment when the little man lost the war with sleep.

“Honey on a rock and sugar don’t stop.. gotta bring a bottle to the baby..”

Bill was pretty sure he got that lyric wrong, what Danzo didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

Bill kept humming as he listened to the sound of Gotham outside. The early bird would be just starting their commute by now.

Actually, why weren’t the numbskulls making any noise? If they think he was going to accept any half ass cleaning for two favors than they had quite a bitching to look forward to.

‘Not right now.’ Bill felt his humming slow down, ‘can’t risk waking the kid,’

He was aware he was joining Danny in Dreamland at this point; the fact of the matter is he been up for almost 24 hours and is supposed to go in tonight anyways.

He deserved some sleep after all this shit.

Gently laying his arm over Danny, he let his body relax as the first rays of dawn entered the apartment.

Hoodlums:

@reinluna,@confused-moose-child,@mimilikey,@emeraudesfateandfandoms, @dolfay, @boredomfarie, @aconitewolfsbane, @withoutcontxt, @onyxlightdragon, @satanicrutialspecialist, @phoenixdemonqueen, @vixen-uchiha, @skulld3mort-1fan, @bytheoldwillowtree, @illusionwolfwriter24r8, @thewondersoflebanon, @vipower001, @autumnwulf, @alice-hazelwood, @fisticuffsatapplebees, @f4nd0m-fun, @markus209, @latheevening226 @255940g, @dolfay, @basilf1res, @jotaroslooseeyebrowhair, @skirter01, @magnificence12, @bun-fish, @ascetic-orange @thegatorsgoose @sunflowershine03 @ladythugs @firegirl108 @glitchedchaos @rangerhorsetug, @freakofyournature, @mimilikey, @crazycatgirl420

#Marv and Ken were in fact peeping through the kitchen doorway #Marv was recording the moment and Ken trying not to laugh #dp x dc #writing prompt #dc x dp #danny phantom #danny fenton #goonion bill #ken #marv #Jason having his nails done: seriously one call wouldn’t hurt right #Damian: working hard on a cuticle: smudge my work and it’s your wrist Todd #it takes a mob

830 notes · View notes

tojikai · 2 years

Text

Closest to Heaven

PART I: Fix You | PART II: The Sun Will Rise | PART III: Closest to Heaven | PART IV: Open Arms

Pairing: Toji x Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: insecurities, mentions of death, pregnancy

"Is there a way back to you?”

Toji pressed his back on the door as he saw the image of you driving away in the back of his mind. He closed his eyes tight and clenched his fist as the burning ache covered his whole chest, rendering him breathless.

He never thought that watching someone walk out of his life could hurt this much because he's always been so independent. He believed that the most painful thing that a person could go through is to watch the person that they love slowly lose their life.

But the most excruciating pain is to mourn for someone who's still breathing and alive.

The night after you left, Toji had to eat with a crying Megumi in front of him. For the first time in all the years that he had to raise his son alone, Toji didn't know what to do. The boy was sobbing, hiccupping in front of his plate as he rubbed his eyes every now and then.

"Stop crying, Megumi. You're eating." He spoke softly, reaching over to wipe the tears that reached his chin. The boy moved away from his touch as he chewed on the food with tears cascading down his cheeks as he soundlessly wept.

He knows that his son is smart, but he's still just a boy. He understands that right now, all he could do was cry. But Toji—he could have done more. He could've done more to make you stay. Toji realized that you're already close to him. He realized that he didn't even have to do anything to hold you near because you were already there beside him all this time.

And he was the one who kept pulling away from you.

"What did you do?" Megumi asked him, sniffing as he wiped his nose with the back of his hand. His eyes are sore and red from crying. It was a rare sight to Toji because he's never seen Megumi cry this hard before—not even when he learned of what happened to his mom.

"I…I wasn't treating Y/N right." Toji tried his best to put everything in the simplest term so he would understand. He doesn't know how it sounds to a 12-year-old, but it must've sounded unpleasant enough that his son is now looking at him with a scowl on his face. He knows fully well that this might make Megumi hate him, but he doesn't want to lie to him just to protect himself.

"After all that she did for us? You couldn't treat her, right?" Megumi sobbed, his lips starting to quiver as he dropped his spoon and fork on his plate. Toji felt like he was being stabbed as the words came out of his son's mouth.

It hurts because it's true.

"I don't understand, dad. How bad was it that she had to leave? She never left us before. She's always been here for you and for me. I cannot see what you think she lacked that made you hurt her like that." Megumi was full-on crying now as he ranted to his dad. Toji thought that maybe this was the question that you asked yourself too.

He made you question yourself and your worth.

Toji couldn't answer Megumi. Under the warm light of their kitchen, Megumi's small and strained cries is the only thing that can be heard. It kept echoing around his head, sending solid waves that left cracks in his heart.

"Why, dad?" Megumi bawled as he harshly rubbed his feet together under the table, his small hands clenched in fists as he tried to contain all his frustrations and anger. Megumi couldn't accept it. This was the first time he's witnessed someone so close walk out of his life, and he just couldn't understand why it had to happen.

"I love your mom too much, 'gumi." Toji said weakly as he looked down, diverting his eyes from the pained look on his son's face.

"She's long gone!" Megumi bellowed, slamming his fists on the table, clattering the plates atop it. It might sound like Megumi doesn't care for his mom, but when one thinks about it, it is a relatively easy thing to say for someone who never got to know the deceased person.

"Don't say that. She gave birth to you! She loved us!" Toji snapped, taken aback by the harsh truth of his son's words. He slammed his fist on the table, too, scaring the child but not enough for his stubbornness to subside.

"But she's never coming back, dad! Even if you call for her every day, she'll never come back!" Megumi jumped from his seat to sit on the floor. His familiar words sunk into Toji like they never had before.

"I know she sacrificed a lot of things for me, dad. But she's never coming back." Megumi cried to his knees, and Toji rushed to his feet to pick his son up. He didn't expect him to break down like this. Toji stood up to pull the kid to him, making him stand up to cry on his body instead. Megumi's shoulders tremble as he clenched his fist on his father's shirt.

And for the first time, Toji wished you were there instead of his wife.

-------------------------------------------------------

"Dad?!" Megumi called for what seemed like the umpteenth time that morning. It's been two weeks, and not a day had passed without him calling for his dad and asking where his things went. Everything in their house seems to go missing after you left.

The first morning without you was the most chaotic morning he's ever had in years. Even if there were only two of them in the house, everything was all over the place. They spent half of it looking for his lunch box.

They had already opened every cupboard, flipped every table upside down, and checked every corner of the house. They basically flipped every room inside it. They even looked for it under the sink and under his bed, only to find it inside his school bag, with the leftovers from when he slept over at Yuuji's.

He brought it as snack storage for their game night, and since you left almost right after he got back from Yuuji's house, you weren't able to take it out. You were always the one to get it from his bag the moment he got home from school every day.

Now, he has to do it himself.

"What is it?" Toji stood by the boy's doorway, fixing his necktie, which was poorly matched with his shirt and trousers. Megumi always had to ask him to change its color because the colors of his choice never looked good together.

Toji bitterly told him that you always picked them for him, so he kind of forgot how to do it himself.

"Where's my neckerchief?" He asked as he tried to avoid stepping on his clothes that got thrown around the room in his futile attempts to find the accessory. His bed was still not made yet and probably won't be made until he gets back today.

"Your necker-what?" Toji furrowed his eyebrows stepping inside his room to look around, scoffing at the mess.

"What is this? You pulled everything out." Toji opened his cabinet's door wider to see all clothes gone from the rack and now on the floor. His brows bumped together in a scowl, and his eyebags made it look like he had aged a whole year in only two weeks. Megumi can tell that your absence affects his father just as much as it affects him.

Megumi could see the image of Toji before you came into their life materialize again in front of his eyes, getting clearer and more apparent as days went by. He could only stand and watch as the hole in his heart tatter at the edges every time your name gets mentioned.

The boy's mind and experience grew faster than they should because they have to. Having no mother by his side forced him to mature quicker than he should. He understands what happened between the two of you. He understands why you left them. Because you're spent.

His father spent your overflowing love, and now you're broke with nothing left to give, even to yourself.

"Because I can't find it." He whined, stomping his boots on the floor. "My scouting ceremony starts in 20 minutes, dad." He scratched his head, watching his father pick up some of the clothes.

"I used it last year, right?" The boy asked, throwing all the remaining fabric around him to check if they got mixed with them. He remembered that last year you were there to watch him. You took many pictures that day and compiled them in a photobook which he mentally noted to look for later.

"I don't know where it is, but I'm sure she kept them." He murmured as his dad pulled out the tie organizer at the bottom of the cabinet. There, his neckerchief was neatly rolled along with its slider. Toji sat on the bed, beckoning Megumi to come to him so he could fix it around his neck.

"Do you miss her?" He softly asked the boy, who only hummed in response rubbing his eyes that started to tear up in frustration. Toji knows you too well to know where you'd put stuff like this. Just like his closet, all are in categories so that it'd be easy to find them.

"I'll get her back." Megumi believed his father's words. They're meant to give him hope, but when he thinks about what you probably endured while you're with his dad made him doubt that you'll ever come back to them.

And if you don't, it'd be his first heartbreak.

-------------------------------------------------------

3 years later

"Mom?" You heard someone say as you checked the pack of pasta in your hands. Knowing that the person couldn't possibly be referring to you, you didn't turn around.

You noticed a figure standing next to you and turned your gaze to them, a small smile still plastered on your lips. The person looked shocked as if the realization that they got the wrong person just registered in their brain. You looked at them quizzically when they didn't say anything else and were about to turn around when you noticed their familiar spiky hair.

The boy definitely didn't get the wrong person.

You wouldn't forget the first kid who made you feel like a mother. Before you know it, tears have already started to form in your eyes.

"Megumi?" You asked them, trying to blink away the burning hotness in your waterline to avoid causing a scene in such a public place.

Without saying anything, you pulled Megumi into an embrace, feeling him hug you back hesitantly as if he wasn't sure if he was still allowed to do it.

You wanted to apologize to him for leaving him 3 years ago. You wanted to apologize for making him feel like he was so easy to leave behind, but the shake of his shoulders made you pull away to look at his face. You watched him wipe his tears quickly, sniffing before giving you a sad yet understanding smile that made your chest hurt.

"I'm sorry." You whispered as you wiped away the trails of tears that fell down from his eyes. He's almost as tall as you now, and you feel a sense of sadness swell in your heart as you think of all the years you missed.

"It's okay; I understand more now." He gave you a small kind smile. "You had to.". He looked more like his father now that he's grown.

Right. His father. Is Toji with him?

"I'm by myself." Megumi spoke as if reading your mind before continuing, "If it's okay, we can catch up in a café on the other side of the street." He asked, watching your face.

"Of course, 'gumi." You sighed in relief. You didn't realize that you were worried that he might be angry at you or hate you for what you did.

-------------------------------------------------------

"How have you been?" Megumi asked as he sat down in front of you with the drinks. He sounded so different from the boy you used to take care of. You didn't even recognize him when he called you 'mom' earlier.

That was the first time he called you that. You thought that it must be why he looked surprised when you turned to face him. He must've been shocked by his own words too, but it made you feel warm.

"I'm doing great. I…I just got hired to teach in a high school around here." You smiled at him, seeing his shoulders relax a bit when he noticed the lilt in your voice. He must've been worried about you all these years.

After you left, despite Toji's statement on how he'd let you and Megumi talk, you didn't really contact each other. He's just a kid, and he probably only uses his phone to play games or check school group chats.

You didn't really expect him to call. You, on the other hand, had to stop yourself so many times because you knew that if you were to call him, it'd only be harder for the both of you.

"I'm sorry I didn't call." You sighed as you took a sip of your coffee.

"It's alright. I know that you needed time away from my dad to heal." Your breath hitched at the word that he used—heal. He really understands what happened between you and his father now. You wondered how Toji explained everything to him after you left.

"If you contacted me back then, you'd probably end up going back to us. Because I'd beg you to." He laughed a bit, looking down as he slightly blushed from his honesty.

"How about you? How are you? How's your fa…Toji, How's Toji?" You almost sighed when you realized that his name didn't make your heart hurt anymore. It used to make you walk out of a conversation whenever he's mentioned.

You couldn't count how many times you contemplated on running back to his arms and build his home again, even if you had to build it alone. You couldn't count how many nights you cried yourself to sleep because the bed felt too cold without him beside you, even if it was just his body beside you and not his heart.

His name doesn't break your heart anymore, and you don't know if it's because you've finally moved on from him or if it's because your heart is ready to take him in again.

"I'm doing good; my grades are good." The conversation probably sounded like it was between a son and mother who are casually meeting at a café to catch up.

It's because it was. To Megumi, you and his dad had separated, and now, you are the mother who's trying to check up on his son.

"And my dad, he's… he's better now, Y/N." Megumi said it with a purpose—like he's trying to convince you, and he could only hope that his message would get through. He had never not dreamt of the day that you'd come back home to them again.

"He… he's moved on." He breathed out, his eyes looking directly into yours as if seeking some type of reaction, some sort of emotion, some hope that his family could be whole again. It took you a full minute to realize that he was talking about his mom.

He's saying that his dad finally moved on from his mom.

"That's great. He can safely start anew." You could only offer these words laced with kindness and relief, and it was definitely not what Megumi was hoping for. He doesn't want you to say 'start anew.' But rather, his wish to hear you say that you could finally 'start over again.'

"I can call him over, Y/N. He'd be more than happy to meet you." He rushed to pull out his phone, but the worry in your eyes made him pause. "It's okay, right? You could finally talk it through… right?" His eyes were begging you.

"I…I have something to attend to, actually. This afternoon." You cleared your throat as you forced to plaster a tight-lipped smile on your face. You could see the light in Megumi's eyes dim away as he processed your words. Once again, you felt the familiar tight feeling in your chest. The same as what you felt when you walked out of their house.

"Oh," He blinked, his mouth opening and closing as if trying to find the right words to say. He was trying to think of a way to get you and his father to meet again, and maybe—just maybe, he could finally have his family again.

"Then…then next time, Y/N. Is…is your number, uhm, I'll get your number, Y/N. So I can call you, and we can all meet outside or in the house or anywhere you want." Megumi couldn't let you go now. Not when you're already within their reach again.

"Y/N… Dad's been looking for you." He covered the shake in his voice with a chuckle, but he could tell that you noticed when the look in your eyes changed. Megumi used to be a grumpy kid, but he looked almost vulnerable in front of you right now.

Meeting with Toji and Megumi was already in your plans when you came back to this city about a week ago. But you didn't think that it would happen this soon.

"Okay," You reached for his phone, seeing him sigh in relief as he thanked you in a soft voice.

You'd have to do it anyway. You'd have to meet and talk with Toji again, eventually. You can't keep running away and hiding everything when you know damn well that Toji has the right to know.

It would be best to talk it through as early as possible. So, the both of you can start fresh again with your new lives.

-------------------------------------------------------

“She used to take a sip of your coffee before giving it to you.” Toji remembers his son saying one morning. He reminisced of the mornings that you made breakfast for them, and Megumi was right—you always tasted his coffee first before handing it to him.

“She wants to make sure it’s good,” Megumi murmured as he drank the soup from the bowl. Toji was relieved that he’s finally stopped crying and asking for you every day.

He used to have fits when he got frustrated with something—anything, and then he’d start asking for you, yelling at his father for making you leave.

Then he’d say sorry afterward, just like what you always told him. He’d say sorry and admit his mistakes like you always taught him whenever he’s done something wrong.

Toji missed you every day. It got to the point where he was regularly asking your friends if they had heard about you. Had they said yes, he would’ve begged them to tell him where you are just so he could take you back home.

When you left, Toji promised himself that he would finally let go of his deceased wife.

He went to her grave a week after you left—when it all started to sink in. He told her about you and why you left. He told her about you, and how you set yourself ablaze just to keep him and his son warm even when he refused to give you just a spark. Toji was too tough to cry but not when his backbone was missing.

“She didn’t even ask me to forget about you. She was just asking for a space to put herself in. And I failed to give her that.”

He recalled weeping in front of her grave as he grieved for you. He remembered his tears staining his dead wife’s tombstone as he screamed all his laments for you. He called for your name as he cried his heart out in front of her wife’s memorial. He wailed and yowled, but no one consoled him. No one offered him solace.

Because his wife is dead, and unlike you, she can never hold him now.

She was long gone, but you were there. She has been dead for years, but you were in front of him. All the times he broke down for her, you were there to pick him up. But now that you are gone who will put his pieces back together as he crumbles for you?

He traded the beats of your heart for the chilling howls of the wind. He traded your warmth for the cold touch of her tombstone.

Back then, Toji used to wake up in the middle of the night to wear his and his wife’s wedding band as you sleep soundly next to him. Now, he wakes up to touch your side of the bed in hopes that you finally came home, that you never left and that it was all a dream—a wake-up call for him to finally let go of the deceased.

As days went by, Toji’s wife left his dreams, and instead, there was you. He called for you loud enough to send Megumi running to his room, thinking that you had come back. He had to hold the kid all night to soothe down his cries and endure the punches of his small fists in his chest.

All of your mutual friends asked for you, and he could still remember the sympathetic look in their eyes when he told them that you left. He couldn’t blame them for looking at him that way because he really is a pitiful man without you by his side.

Megumi was never as talkative as when you were with him. Breakfast and dinners are spent in silence, save from the occasional questions about his day and school. Every day he prayed that he’d run into you in any place that he goes to. Even just to see your face.

All this time, he abstained from any sort of physical touch with anyone else. He knows that he wouldn’t be able to push through it even if he closed his eyes and covered his ears the entire time.

What he did was fantasize about the images of you that he burned in his mind, and that’s enough.

He couldn’t count how many times he wanted to get wasted, drown his heart in alcohol until he couldn’t feel that you were not beside him anymore. He wanted to numb himself just until the day that you were back. But he needs to be better. And that’s certainly not the road to that.

Slowly, he learned to keep away the things he and his late wife used to share. The bedside drawer got cleaned, and the pictures were kept in a dedicated photobook—even the one in his wallet and everything he used to hold on to were moved into a single box.

Now, all of his heart is free for you to take. All of the spaces inside it are yours to occupy.

“Dad!” Toji’s head snapped at the sound of Megumi’s voice. He never sounded this happy and excited ever since you left. What could possibly be making him this joyful right now? He turned off the stove to meet him in the living room. His son was stumbling on his feet to take off his shoes.

“I finally found her.” Megumi spoke to him, and Toji almost felt like he’s been resuscitated alive. Megumi found you. You’re back. You came back. He can finally make it up to you. He can finally love you properly.

He can finally take away your years of pain.

-------------------------------------------------------

The day has come, and Toji can't remember ever feeling this nervous in his whole life. He imagined how you would look as he sat in his car waiting for his son. Three years is a long time for a man who's waiting, and now his long wait is finally coming to an end.

"Let's go," Megumi jumped in the passenger side with a slight glow on his face. It's been a while since he saw this look on his son's face and his smile almost looked unfamiliar to Toji as he glanced at him in the car mirror.

"How does she look?" Toji asked him, swallowing. He wasn't able to ask so many questions when Megumi delivered the news to him. He only asked when and where you'll meet. He wanted to call you that night. Tell you to prepare your stuff, and he could just pick you up and take you home.

"Even more beautiful," Megumi answered, smiling at him. "I, uh, accidentally called her mom out loud when I saw her at the supermarket." He added, shaking his head as he let out an embarrassed sigh.

All this time, Megumi's been calling you mom.

'When's mom coming back?', 'I wanna go to mom.', 'Let's just look for mom.' Was all that ever escaped his lips whenever he's having a bad day. Those were the days when Megumi really felt that he had lost someone dear to his heart; when it started looking for you.

They arrived 20 minutes early at the location. It was a small café, the place was quiet, and there were only a few people inside. They're either busy talking to someone on their phones or have their noses stuck in a book or laptop. They're all too busy to even look at someone who walked in.

"We went here when I ran into her. We caught up but only for a short time because she has somewhere to be." Megumi spoke as they picked a spot in a corner near the windows. Toji wondered what you did during the past few years. He wondered if you were able to find yourself again after what happened, and he really hoped that you did.

He also hoped that you'd find your way back to him.

He thought about where you went that even your friends never met you. At some point, he thought that maybe you went abroad to get away from him as far as possible. There's one thought that always crossed his mind, but he always shook off, and now, it's back in it again.

What if you met someone new? What if you already built your own family?

Toji gulped hard and bit his lip, causing Megumi, who was sitting in front of him, to tap him on the shoulder. The thought was so vivid that he could almost see you carrying a toddler on your hip as you kissed a guy inside a car, waving him goodbye as he rolled the windows up.

"Dad, she's here." He could hear Megumi's shaky intake of breath as he tried to shake away his imagination. But it won't go away. The thought of you with a kid looks so real. Motherhood has never looked this good on someone, Toji thought. The images in his head started to look more and more realistic.

Because it was real.

There you are, in all your glory, with a pretty little girl. You looked so beautiful－even more with a baby, and Toji could almost feel the tears pooling in his eyes as you looked at him with a sad look in your eyes. You stopped in front of them, opening your mouth before looking at the little girl you were carrying.

"Toji," You began as he took a deep breath, scanning your face. He wanted to kiss you, hug you, pull you to him, and breathe in the scent of your hair that he missed all these years.

"How have you been?" You sighed as you tried to smile kindly at him. Megumi was shocked. He didn't know that you already have a family. A family that he could now never have. He couldn't blame you. He couldn't hate you for it. He noticed how you avoided the topic of working things out with his dad when he first met you. You also didn't say anything about fixing things with him, so he couldn't be mad at you.

Toji wanted to say, 'I'm better for you now, Y/N.' but he ended up answering with, "I'm good, just alright. I'm glad you're doing well," He can feel all of his pieces losing their hold on each other as they collapse within him. Of all the things he imagined, you moving on and starting a family with someone else is the scariest one.

But it seemed to be coming to life now. It seemed to be getting real, and it hurts so fucking much because Toji knows that it could've been him.

Megumi sat down as if to initiate all of you to do so too. He couldn't bring himself to speak. He feared that if he did, he'd end up crying.

His mom has a new family, and now, he's got no place in her life anymore.

Toji smiled kindly at the little girl as you sat her beside you. She was staring intently at him, tilting her head as if she was trying to read his face. She played with the ribbon on her dress, showing it to him which made him smile.

Was the kid's father the guy who stayed with you during those times that you cried for him? Was he the one who fixed you and made you see your worth again?

The toddler's face is as pretty as yours. Her cute dimples show as she sucked on her Carebears pacifier. Her dark hair made the blush on her cheek and nose even more prominent. She got bright green eyes—like his.

"She's yours." You spoke, and he could almost feel the world stop turning.

"What?" He breathed out, seeing Megumi also tense up beside him in the corner of his eyes. The guy that dropped you off in front of the café wasn't the kid's father.

"She's my sister?" Megumi croaked, staring at the little girl who pulled the pacifier out of her mouth, handing it to you.

They could see her face clearer now, and while it's true that the girl's got the shape of your lips and eyes, the fact that she's Toji's daughter cannot be denied. Her dark locks that fall in the same way as his and the same shade of green that coats her irises speak loud enough.

"I'm sorry," You lifted the kid, sitting her on your lap to help them have a closer look at her. The little one stared at them with her big eyes, and Toji could now see that she got his lashes too. This is his daughter, he thought. He has a baby girl with you. Like you always wanted back then.

You have a kid with him. Toji had to repeat it inside his mind. The information just won't sink in. He can't believe the words even if he heard them with his own ears. He wants to hold his baby girl. He wants to be close to her just so he knows that she's real.

"Can I hold her?" He asked you cautiously as he tried to steady his hands from trembling. Toji didn't know that you were pregnant when you left. Had he known, he wouldn't have let you go, even if it meant getting on his knees in the middle of the street to ask you to stay.

"Aimi, baby. Go to daddy." You spoke softly to the little girl, glancing at Toji. You ushered her to take baby steps towards him, glancing at Megumi, who's also staring at the toddler. His eyes are bright and shining, and just like his dad— he's wonderstruck. The baby slowly made her way to Toji as she held on to the table's edge.

"Dada," She giggled as she reached him, and Toji almost broke down in tears as he heard her babble the words repeatedly.

"She's a good kid. She's never whiny, never fussy." You sniffed.

"You hid her from me?" He spoke out the question inside his mind with a slight accusatory look on his face. You feared this. You feared that he would hate you for keeping your daughter a secret from him. You know that he'd get angry after it all sinks into him. After he completely takes in the information that you kept his daughter away from him.

Megumi watched you as you cried to the heel of your palm, suppressing the sounds for the sake of the people around you. You know that you were wrong. You prepared yourself for Toji's anger when you decided on finally showing Aimi to him. Flashbacks flooded your mind as you kept your head down, avoiding both of their gazes.

Your hands shook as you stared at the pregnancy tests in front of you. Two lines. There are two lines in all of the pregnancy tests. Not just one, but five. That's why you've been feeling sick and tired all the time. It's been 5 weeks since you left, and you didn't even notice that you missed a period because of everything that's been going on.

You settled down in a new city, looked for a part-time job to fully cover your bills, and had to explain some things to your family. Thankfully they understood and supported you with your decision to move away for a little while. Just a week ago, when your mom visited and stayed for a couple of days, she said that you've been moody since you separated from Toji. You both assumed that it was just because of stress.

You didn't even consider that this could be the reason. Because you always have safe sex with Toji. It's either he uses a condom, or he does it outside. It slipped your mind that none of these two happened when you did it for the last time before you left.

"Fuck," You sat on the toilet, leaning your head on one of your hands as you clutched your phone in the other. You stared at the dark screen, contemplating whether you'd call Toji. Part of you wants to call him and ask him to take you home, but the other part of you stopped your finger from tapping on his name.

He might not want this.

How can he want something like this with me when he doesn't even want to marry me? You cried in your palm as you remembered how it all happened. Toji wants his wife, not you. His dream family is with her and not you.

What makes you think he'd want to have and raise a kid with you?

Your heart broke even more as your hand caressed your stomach, promising to protect the growing life inside you, even if it meant that you'd have to do it alone. You didn't want to force Toji into this. You didn't want him to feel obligated to love or marry you just because he got you pregnant.

You snapped out of your memories when Megumi grabbed your hand. When you looked up, Toji was staring at you with a dejected look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Toji. It was never my intention to keep her away from you. I-I was just scared. I thought you didn't want this with me. I didn't want to force you into something just because we have a kid, I—" You cried, and this time he stood up to sit next to you with his daughter still in his arms.

He can't bring himself to be mad at you for hiding his daughter. He rejected your idea of getting married. Of course, you would think that he doesn't want to have something like this with you.

He doesn't know if his tears were because of the bittersweet happiness brought by the fact that the two of you have a living proof of the love that you once shared or if they're because you thought that he wouldn't want a child with you. You took care of your baby all while you're hurting and healing from your exhausting relationship with him.

"No...no, I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean to say it like that. I understand why you did it. I'll make up for all that I've missed this time. I swear." He hushed, pulling you to cry on his shoulder and rub your back. You basked in his warmth for a few moments, his familiar scent filled your senses, and it all started coming back to you. Him, you, Megumi, and the newest addition to your family. It was a beautiful moment.

You don't understand how the person who broke you could make you feel complete at the same time.

His eyes are glued back to Aimi as the little girl traces the scar on his lip, pouting hers. You could feel the guilt slip out of your heart and crawl up to your throat, erupting in the form of small airy sobs.

"Boo-boo," Her brows lowered as she pulled them closer together to express her sadness over her dad's scar. The kid caressed Toji's cheeks, and a soft smile made its way to his lips as she laughed at his reaction.

She's just as curious as you, Toji thought as he was reminded of when you first met him. You said the scar on his lip looks cool, smiling up at him like he wasn't a stranger you just met at a department store.

"You can have her at weekends or the days when you don't have work. I'll drop her off at your house." With that statement, Toji was pulled back to his painful reality.

You moved on with someone new, and Toji knows that he's probably treating you better than Toji ever did, but it hurts more now that he found out that you have a kid, yet you wouldn't be able to raise her together.

He'll be watching on the sidelines as you build a family with someone new, the family he could've had but refused to give you.

"I'll talk with my boyfriend about the occasions where we have to be together for Aimi. I'm sure he'll understand."

So you're not married yet. Toji felt terrible for almost letting out a sigh of relief that you're not tied to your boyfriend yet. He felt bad for having the idea of asking you to start over again when you're clearly happy with someone else, but how else should he feel?

You're already here. Will he really give you up just like that?

"...Was he the one who helped you raise her?" He asked, his voice sounding hoarser than it should, and his eyes looked as dull as they could be. You know that it hurts him. You know that he must've waited for you but what can you do? You already have someone. He made you feel valid, and he appreciated you when you couldn't even appreciate yourself.

"No, not really. We only met 10 months ago." You looked down, not wanting to see the pain in his eyes anymore. You didn't mean to get into a relationship, but it just happened. You were lonely, and he gave you all the attention and validation that your heart had been craving.

But Toji wants you. He needs you. And there's nothing he wouldn't give to be someone you love again.

Before Toji knew it, tears had already made their way down his face. After all the nights he spent crying, he thought that there wouldn't be enough tears to fall from his eyes anymore. But this day proved that wrong.

"Toji…" You whispered as you held his hand. Your eyes spoke the words ‘sorry’ to him as the cold air of the café dried his tears. He's pathetic. How could he expect you to come back to him when he's the one who tore you apart? Up until now, he's still selfish.

While you were trying to fix and heal yourself from Toji, someone came along and made you feel everything he should've made you feel when you were still with him. 10 months ago, this man came into your life and made you feel like you're the only woman in his heart.

Toji met you 6 years ago and made you feel like a bed warmer in the 3 years that you are together.

The sentence knocked the wind out of Toji's lungs as he thought of how you cried your heart out to him that day, cursing yourself for not being enough for him, questioning yourself if you're even worth loving.

Megumi takes his sister from Toji as he watches his father's emotions unravel in front of him. Everything was still too much for him, and once again, he didn't know how things would go for them now that you're finally here but not with them. You gave him a little sister like he always hinted to you and his dad back then. But will you ever become a whole family again?

"Can't we… can't we start over, Y/N?" Toji gripped your hand. Desperation was evident in his voice and eyes as he moved closer to you. You didn't know how to answer. You know that someone else is already in your life, but you still find it hard to utter the word 'no.'

Maybe you still have feelings Toji. But what about your boyfriend, who supported you through this? You can't just leave him like that. He made you feel seen. He made you feel important.

Before you know it, you're already shaking your head at Toji, mouthing the words 'I'm sorry.' He kissed your knuckles as his shoulders slightly shook.

He looked so, so fragile before you, and you wondered if he felt like this when you were breaking down and begging for his love back then, too. He pulled away, sniffing before giving you a rueful smile and nodding his head. He's accepting his defeat.

He's accepting that he lost you when you walked out of their door 3 years ago.

"I'm always here. I'll always wait for you, Y/N." Toji uttered in a rough voice, tracing your ring fingers, and it took everything in you not to take back what you said and run away with him.

Because this man was the first person who taught you how to love. And you thought that maybe if the heart and fates allow, you will find your way back to each other again.

Maybe not today, maybe not in this life—you don't know exactly when. But one day.

-------------------------------------------------------

Aimi was in Megumi's lap and playing with him when your boyfriend came to pick you up. You were a bit worried about introducing him to Toji because you feel like Toji isn't happy about him, and you were right cause right now, your ex is staring your boyfriend down with Aimi in his arms.

Megumi elbowed him when he stood up intimidatingly but still reached out his hand to acknowledge your boyfriend, who is not a fan of him either. Aimi kissed his dad and brother goodbye, clinging to them as if sensing their connection.

You wonder what things would be like if you were not in this situation. You wonder what things would be like if you chose to go back home to Toji when you found out about your baby.

It left a stinging pain in your heart. You didn't think that seeing Toji again could bring so many feelings back to life.

"We'll be going now. I'll contact you when I'm dropping Aimi off." You breathed out before swallowing. You found it hard to tear your daughter away from his dad and brother. They already missed the first part of her life; you felt bad for taking her away after just a short time.

Megumi gave you a hug before you left, and before you could even get near Toji, your boyfriend was already snatching you away. You could see Toji's jaw clench for a brief second as he gazed at your boyfriend's hand snaking around your waist.

You gave Toji a small, apologetic smile before breaking away from your boyfriend to give him a hug—a tight one.

Because you missed him. And there's no way you could deny it.

Toji wanted to threaten your boyfriend. He wanted to tell him that he'd break his neck if he breaks your heart, but he knows that it could backfire on him because he broke you first, so he held himself back.

Aimi was waving at Megumi over your shoulder as you walked between the cafe seats. Toji could only stare and plaster a smile for his baby girl as your boyfriend snakes a hand around your waist—the position where Toji should be.

He thought that seeing you get married to someone else was the most painful thing he could ever witness. He didn't think that you'd be walking away with his daughter and another man the next time he met you.

He watched you put Aimi in her car seat before giving him one last look before getting in the passenger seat. At that moment, Toji felt helpless. Like the ground is slowly swallowing him whole, and the world around him is caving in. He felt Megumi's hand on his back as he took in a shaky breath.

Toji imagined how your lips would feel on his; how they'd move in sync with his after the years you spent apart. He imagined how light your touches would be on his skin as you trace the patterns of his veins.

He imagined how perfectly your hand would fit in his as he make love to you all night. Toji promised himself that he'd take away all your years of pain when you're finally within his reach again.

But how is he going to do all of that when someone's already doing it for you?

He put his hand in his pocket, feeling the velvet box touch his fingertips. His tongue tasted bitter as he recalled the day he bought the ring. Toji said that he'd finally ask you to marry him when you finally meet again. He'd finally offer you all of his heart like he should've done years ago.

But how is he supposed to do that now that someone else is holding your hand?

Toji feared that he'll lose you completely, but when he found out about his daughter, he felt a bittersweet relief. He'll never lose his ties with you because Aimi will forever connect you together.

He will see you with your boyfriend. Toji knows that. He will see you being happy with someone else, and Toji knows that it will kill him, but he'd rather die than see you lose your smile again. He promised that if you did, he wouldn't miss the chance to give it back to you.

If Toji has to love you from afar, then that's fine by him. If he has to love you all by himself, then that's okay. He will see you every week, spend time together for Aimi, and that's enough for him.

It's better than not having any idea where you are at all.

If this is the closest that Toji could ever get to you right now, if this is the closest to heaven that he'll ever get, then that's enough.

taglist: @tojidilfs @chiisananingen @nobody289x @aonenthusiast @almondiek @dearsunaa @peachytears11 @r-xochitl @Constantlydelulusional @skiue @multistan-247 @momoewn @simplyrosesxr @estate-euphoric @dabishotgf @Lopy75 @kekeanna266 @mightbeyousstuff @downbadfor2dmen @katherinepetrovawife @darlingeowyn @alle7654 @shadowarchon @diachibaby @musicisme333 @Frrrycum @creativitybeware @nikiwoo @mystikawi @toxzart

(if you want to be added, click here! <3)

Prev | Next

2K notes · View notes

gigglegirlhappy · 7 months

Text

(3/23/23)

Frontiers’s story had a big impact on me. Sage’s whole dynamic with Eggman struck a chord with me. Eggman slowly starting to see Sage as less of a creation and more of a daughter, occurring in tandem with Sage discovering and learning how to navigate her new feelings, that hit really close to home for me.

The original ending, before the Final Horizon update, brought me to tears. We’ve seen Eggman’s creations get destroyed so many times, but we’ve never seen what it feels like on Eggman’s side of things, especially when it comes to someone as close to his heart as Sage. Those thirty seconds of silence as he stared at the stars, slowly coming to realize that Sage would never come home, never get to know her brothers, never be a family… I actively felt my heart sink for Eggman.

And if that wasn’t enough, “Dear Father,” a song Sage sings to her father, telling him just how much she loved him, and how much she wished she could come home and be a family, plays right after. My heart broke for them both, that scene hit me like a sack of bricks. I was bawling like a child for a long time, which is very unlike me.

I drew this before Final Horizon came out, so I didn’t know how it would affect Sage’s fate. I just wanted to see them all happy together (though Metal Sonic’s chronic resting bitch face makes him look permanently pissed off lmao). It’s funny how life works, because the added context of Final Horizon finally made this image a reality.

Final Horizon’s ending also made me cry like a baby, to be frank, though for a different reason. Instead of that scene with Robotnik staring at the stars alone in deafening silence, we get to see him have a tender moment with Sage. We get to see Sage smile in delight at the thought of finally being able to go home and be a family. We get to hear them talk to each other, be proud of each other, be relieved that it’s over, and glad that they can be a family together.

And then “I’m With You” plays.

While “Dear Father” was, in essence, Sage’s last words to Eggman, expressing her devotion and regret at not being able to come home safe, “I’m With You” is the exact opposite. Sage is no longer wishing for a family she will never meet. She can rejoice in the fact that she’s finally coming home, she has a family, and she’ll finally be able to meet them.

Sage can finally be a part of a family.

49 notes · View notes

awarmcupofmilk · 2 years

Text

Gojo x reader “Pained Joy”

afab!reader

series: pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt 5 pt 6

summary: half gojo’s pov- a drunken conversation ends your five year marriage w/ gojo

content warnings: breakup/sad, angst, alcohol use (not extensive), arguing, fluff (kinda?) in flashbacks, mention of character going missing in flashback, mention of sickness in flashback, divorce

word count: 1,277

please don’t repost, edit, translate, use, or copy my works on any platforms (if you’d really like to please reach out – reblogs are welcome)

Namie was crying. She wasn’t bawling anymore, maybe she was tired from the conversation earlier. The thought made your heart twist. She held onto your hand, tears sliding down her cheeks. She sniffled, her nose was running, but did not rub her eyes. It seemed like she was trying not to blink. Maybe get every last glimpse of Gojo before he moved out?

You had reassured her he would still come visit often. And besides, though you hadn’t explained this to Namie, officially the divorce hadn’t quite been sorted out yet. You’d have to figure out custody, alimony, all the nitty-gritty that made this even uglier than it already was.

You couldn’t see your face, but you knew it looked miserable. Nothing about this felt good. Gojo wasn’t much better, eyes somber, almost deadened as he met your gaze. You desperately tried to avoid the question, but the back of your mind shouted it constantly these days. Why did it end up like this?

You felt your throat clenching and eyes watering, but you didn’t cry. You didn’t feel like you deserved to. Every tear you shed would just hurt Namie. Gojo was probably thinking it, too, that is, if he was sad enough about this to have cried otherwise. Regardless, he put up a commendable act, smiling at your daughter with all the reassurance and appropriate apology necessary to calm her down. She sniffled again.

You pulled Namie closer to you and stroked her hair as Gojo picked up his last box and turned away. Namie wailed once as he drove away, then fell silent. You wanted to scream. But instead, you kneeled down to meet Namie’s eyes. “Are you hungry, baby?” You asked as you stroked her hair and wiped away her tears as best you could. She shook her head and ran away from you. Ah.

You stared after her, making sure she wasn’t going anywhere far. She just ran upstairs to her room. You turned back as you heard the door slam, and let out a sigh. For the first time today, you buried your face in your knees and sobbed.

✧

The night before Gojo agreed to move out, he had charged at you, angrily.

“Seriously,” he had said, frustrated, exasperated, and honestly nothing short of furious. “Why are you doing this? What brought this on?”

You had sighed. “Satoru, stop. I already told you, forget about it.”

“No! I’m not just going to forget about it!” Gojo had yelled. It made you flinch. You don’t think he noticed. Or cared. “This is ridiculous! (“Satoru, stop,” you had repeated.) You’re just ending everything based on some sort of whim, and you won’t tell me why? What about Namie?”

That did it. Now you were fuming. The anger clouded your vision, you felt your pulse throbbing. “On a whim? That’s what you think this is? Do you really need me to point out how little you cared about me or this family? How dare you bring up Namie?”

He seemed taken aback. He was trying to backtrack now, but you were having none of it. “Did it ever occur to you that what you did might be too painful, too humiliating for me to repeat? I don’t owe you an explanation! You’ve done enough harm. Even if you don’t feel sorry, leave me alone.”

He had gone quiet. For a few seconds he just stood there. Then, after giving a curt nod, he left as abruptly as he came. At no point did he apologize.

✧

Gojo remembers when he first met you now. His first thought when he saw you was that you seemed happy. It was too simple an assumption looking back, but something in the way you spoke, carried yourself, just seemed cheery. You didn’t even have to try that hard. You didn’t have to smile. He smiled more than you did, joked more than you did. But somehow, it was just clear that you were a happier presence.

Maybe that’s why he asked you out. You made him feel more optimistic. Like life would be fun.

If only he had remembered the hope you brought was what he liked about you. Too late.

✧

Tossing his keys aside, staring at the pile of boxes he had no heart to unpack, Gojo ran a hand over his face. What happened?

What was the nail in the coffin? What made you leave?

The questions haunted him. But it was hopeless. He’d never know. His stomach and pride twisted at the thought that even without a turning point, he had done more than enough to deserve the consequences.

For the first time since the conversation that ended your marriage, Gojo felt a tear slide down his cheek. He felt wretched.

Wiping it away with the back of his hand, he reached for his phone and dialed for his best friend.

✧

“I moved out today,” Gojo said, sitting on Geto’s couch. His voice shook. “It feels final now.”

Geto patted him on the shoulder, expression apologetic.

Gojo took a sip of the beer. It made him cough. He hated how it tasted. He hated more how you wouldn’t be here to pick him up this time.

He laughed bitterly at how quickly he pulled a one-eighty. What he was irritated by he now missed. Desperately. So much so it terrified him.

✧

You, always smiling, always laughing, always pulling him into a hug. You, who held his hand and kissed Namie on the forehead, terrified but still hoping for the best, still smiling for the family even when Namie was sick. You, who held Namie tight and smiled for her, even when he had gone missing, who stood waiting with his daughter at the door the day he came back.

Were you really gone forever?

✧

His laughter turned into tears very quickly. Geto seemed at a loss. But the more Gojo thought, the more indignant he became. Again. “You know, they never gave me a reason?”

“I get it, I wasn’t all that. But they never said anything. Up till the end, they never told me why.” Gojo put his face in his palm.

Geto frowned. He managed to look disapproving and apologetic at the same time.

“Well, they were pretty obvious, Satoru. Remember last ti—”

Geto fell silent. Gojo nudged him expectantly, waiting for him to continue. But Geto’s gaze was far off.

“Oh no.” He breathed.

“What?” Gojo asked, confused and a bit irritated.

“I think I know why.”

“What?” Gojo said again. But he had understood. He stopped breathing in wait, in fear.

“The last time you came, before your mission, I think Y/N was crying when they came to pick you up.”

“What?!” Gojo said, yelled, really.

“I don’t remember that well. But their eyes were red. And they didn’t say anything. Or maybe they said ‘hi’ to me? Either way they seemed upset. But we were both wasted.”

Gojo couldn’t speak.

“I mean, did you do anything horrible after that? Maybe it was something else.”

But he hadn’t. He was away on a mission for most of the two months after that.

Gojo ran out into the hallway to call you; it was the alcohol at work. But you didn’t answer. You had cried yourself to sleep. Not that you would have answered otherwise.

He clutched his hair, head between his knees. What did he do?

Was it really all over? Why didn’t you answer? Were you okay? Was Namie okay?

Countless questions raced through his mind in a bout of panic, but among them one made him petrified.

Was it really all his fault?

<- Previous Part ✧⭐︎☆⭐︎✧ Next Part ->

✧ Masterlist ✧

taglist: @skzismyhome @chanyeolscoon @cloudsinthecosmos @dunnowhy-m @mykyoon @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @96jnie

665 notes · View notes

ficnation · 9 months

Text

Chapter 6: Facing the Strangers

Series: Way Down We Go || Season 1 Word count: 2,5k+ Pairing: Rick Grimes x Female! Reader; Shane Walsh x Reader; Daryl Dixon x Sister! Reader Warnings: usual twd themes A/n: Aye, it's WDWG time! I wanted this chapter to be as packed with tension as it was possible. Let me know your thoughts and theories! If you’re not on the taglist but you’d like to be added let me know!

FULL MASTERLIST

WAY DOWN WE GO MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

You woke up to the warmth of the morning sun, the rays streaming into the backseat of the car where you had fallen asleep. Merle snored in the reclined passenger seat, his boots propped up on the dash. You shifted your body into a sitting position, the wound on your side still aching horribly. You clenched your teeth and peeked through the window, gaze searching for Daryl and his beloved crossbow.

Your younger brother stood near the lake, observing the water shimmering in the morning sun. He was finally taking a break from patrolling the perimeter. You wondered how long it has been since he got some rest—some real sleep—not a fifteen-minute-long nap.

After the stunt Merle pulled at your camp near Turner Reservoir, you both agreed you’d not let him take another watch shift alone. You, though injured, were more trustworthy than him in spotting incoming threats and getting rid of them. Merle turned out to be too reckless, and you couldn’t risk coming all this way just for him to fuck up again.

As you stretched, the car creaked with your movement, the sound of metal and fabric shifting before settling into silence again. You slid out of the vehicle, unbothered by the loud slam of the door as you pushed it closed behind you. You secretly hoped it was clamorous enough to wake Merle from his deep slumber.

Daryl looked up from his spot near the water as you dragged your feet forward, rubbing the sleep away from your eyes. At least your injury wasn’t pulsing as painfully as it did the day before—that was a win in your book.

“You should get some sleep, Daryl,” you said when you reached him, standing by his side and looking at the water ahead. It was so peaceful.

“Don’ think tha’s a good idea,” he replied, looking you up and down, lost in thought. “Does it still hurt like a bitch?”

“Yeah, but less than yesterday.” You hid your yawn behind your palm. You only managed to get a few hours of sleep—the pain on your side was too unbearable to allow more than that. “Seriously, you should kick Merle out of the car and take a nap yourself,” you insisted, studying the dark circles underneath his eyes and the paleness of his face.

“Nah, I should probably catch us somethin’ to eat.” Daryl stretched his arms above his head with a groan before letting them drop down to his sides.

“Can I go with you?” you asked with an excited glint in your eyes.

You used to do that together when you were kids—when Will took you to the cabin and all the cupboards were empty. Every mention of your hunger was a reason for him to lash out; he used to yell about how ungrateful you were, saying you should finally learn to fend for yourself. You were just a kid, and you had to worry about finding something to satisfy your hunger because your own father was an asshole who refused to provide for you.

Although Daryl is younger than you, he was always the resourceful one while you followed him like a lost puppy, clumsily stumbling over every branch and rock. When you got lost in the woods, he was the one who got you food and clean water as you bawled your eyes out. He was the one who taught you which berries and mushrooms are safe to eat and which can make you wish you were dead.

You shook your head to will the memories away as Daryl responded, “Nah, ya should stay ‘ere with Merle.” Just when you were about to protest, he fixed you with a challenging quirk of his eyebrow and you instantly shut your mouth. “Yer wounded.”

You groaned in exasperation, then nodded your head in agreement. You had no reason to get pressed—even though you could move a little bit easier now, you’d still be a nuisance to him on a hunting trip. “Alright,” you mumbled in agreement.

The moment the words left your lips, your ears picked up noise in the distance. You whipped around toward your brother, meeting his gaze in a silent question. His squinted eyes told you that he heard it too.

The noise got closer and closer with every passing second—its source was definitely heading your way. You could see the gears turning in Daryl’s head as he realized the same thing.

“Get to the fuckin’ car!” he ushered you, swinging his crossbow off his shoulder while his unoccupied hand pushed you gently toward the vehicle.

You listened to him without a second thought, moving forward as fast as your legs allowed you to. You got to the car just in time for another vehicle to come barreling forward and skidding to a stop by the lake, and the large boulders you occupied yesterday. As the door to the black Jeep Wrangler opened, Daryl’s crossbow was already raised and aimed in that direction.

First, a muscular man jumped out of the driver’s seat, then the other doors opened, and a few women exited the car. They had yet to notice your presence. You felt Daryl nudging your arm—a silent sign to get into the truck before they spotted you.

But before you could do anything, the metal door opened with a loud creak as Merle darted out of it. He had the best timing ever—you had to give him that. You heard the commotion as the strangers finally noticed your group of three. And oh my god, Merle had a gun.

You stopped in your tracks, motionless, your eyes darting toward the newcomers. The driver also pulled out his gun as he started moving toward you. Daryl was saying something to your older brother, but your brain turned itself off, focusing solely on the dark-haired man ahead. He came to a stop not too far away, but not too close either, his weapon raised in your general direction.

You had a chance to give him a good look over as the world seemed to slow down around you. His eyes were dark brown but seemed almost hazel as the morning sun hit them. The hair on his head was black and wavey, a subtle stubble decorating his scowling face.

You don’t know what exactly happened, but suddenly those same rich brown eyes were studying your person, almost concerned. “Ma’am, do you know these men?” he asked, his voice deep as his gaze darted between you and your companions.

Daryl moved in front of you, shielding you away from the stranger’s view. No one answered the man’s question—no one even thought about it. You noticed Merle tense up next to you, clutching tightly the pistol in his hands. The stranger’s expression remained unwavering, but his eyes did glance at your older brother’s weapon briefly before they tried to catch a glimpse of you once more.

A thought popped into your head, and you looked down at your injured side, quickly connecting the dots. Now, you understood the glint of concern in his eyes. Your shirt and jeans were still stained with the dried-up blood—you completely forgot about it.

You peeked over Daryl’s shoulder and your gaze met the stranger’s. You’re not sure what he saw in it, but it somehow encouraged him to take another step forward in your direction. Your heart was pounding hard inside your chest. Everything looked like it was in slow motion, the man’s movement, the crowd behind him watching your stare off, every twitch of your younger brother’s muscles. The silence hung heavily in the air as you waited with bated breath to see who was going to fold first and finally say something.

Someone from the unknown crowd walked over and took a stand by the dark-eyed man. “Ma’am, are you injured? Do you need help?” The voice belonged to a woman, it was gentle, with a hint of annoyance at the unnecessary hostility between your groups. “Shane, put the gun away,” she urged the man beside her with a hushed tone—almost a whisper.

Shane listened to her, and although tentatively, he did lower his weapon. The woman stepped forward with a confident walk, escaping the arm that shot out to keep her from going any further. She was a woman on a mission, you could respect that. Her gaze locked on Daryl as she tried to sidestep him, but his aim followed her. You could hear Shane say something to her—maybe even to all of you—but your brain didn’t quite catch it, once again. Merle was oddly quiet.

“Woman, ya step any closer an’ I’ll blow yer pretty brains outta tha’ head.” Yep, he's still here.

Merle didn’t take his gaze off her, he was still clutching the gun, ready for the stranger to try something. Daryl looked even more uneasy than before, and you wondered whether the end of the world squashed all of your trust in humanity into the ground or have you always been like that—you were leaning more towards the second theory. Your older brother, however, seemed calm, like he was the only one who was in control of the situation. He looked around, sizing everybody up with a mean look in his Dixon blues.

“Where did you come from?” Shane asked, tensing up as your older brother stepped into the woman’s path when she tried to sidestep Daryl again.

You noticed the mocking snort that escaped Merle, his knuckles almost white from gripping that pistol so tight. Maybe he wasn’t as sure of himself as he was pretending to be. You had a feeling he was about to do something stupid.

You grabbed him by the wrist, shaking your head disapprovingly. He rolled his eyes, but let you pull him back, seeing the imploring look in your eyes. Don’t do it.

The unknown man’s expression grew darker when he noticed you weren’t really caving in. “Drop your weapons,” he ordered. “We don’t wanna harm you.”

Daryl and Merle didn’t say a word, simply refusing to give up their weapons. You lifted your leg, then kicked the old man in the calf, not too hard, but not too delicately either. He dropped the pistol in resignation, grunted, and pushed it a step away with his foot. Daryl agreed wordlessly and lowered his crossbow.

“Wha’ do ya all want from us?” Merle barked out, towering over the petite woman that finally gave up, understanding she wasn’t going anywhere near you.

You don’t know what gave it away, but the strangers seemed to understand the two men at your side were your friends rather than kidnappers.

“We have a camp nearby. We come here almost every day,” the woman spoke, looking you up and down once you sidestepped the protective wall consisting of your two brothers. “Are you injured?”

“She’s good. Old blood,” Daryl responded to her question. He was met with a suspicious look from the strangers once again.

“The woman can speak for herself, for fuck’s sake.” Shane sighed deeply, clearly annoyed by the whole situation already.

“She don’ speak.”

“Oh…” You took the chance to look the brunette up and down. She was quite skinny with sharp cheekbones and long wavy hair with side-swooped bangs. From her behavior, you figured out she was a classic example of a woman who thought she was untouchable.

“Can I at least take a look at it?” she proposed—a pinch of concern in her voice.

You noticed the way her companion looked at her with admiration at her “selfless” attitude—like a love struck teenager. You guessed he was probably her husband—a lover at least. The man must’ve felt your eyes boring into him, he met your gaze, making you withdraw it instantly. The texture of the ground beneath your feet suddenly seemed far more interesting.

“Wha’? Ya wanna get a chance to feel up mah lil’ sister?” Merle, please, shut your fucking mouth.

“Dressing’s old. Might probably need a change, or it’ll get infected,” Daryl’s response surprised you, your eyes shot up to his face and the worry-etched frown decorating it.

“We have a medical kit back at our camp. We can bring it around, or you can come with us.” The brunette seemed just as shocked as you did, judging by her expression. She probably expected him to put up a fight and refuse to say anything about your injury. “You didn’t set up camp anywhere nearby, did you?”

“Nah, we’re jus’ passin’ through.” Daryl’s shoulders relax visibly as he let out a deep breath. “Plannin’ to head into Atlanta once ‘er wound heals up a little.”

“Atlanta?” Shane snorted loudly, earning himself a disapproving shake of his companion’s head. “Man, you got a death wish?”

You glared at him, his tone toeing the line between surprised and sarcastic. Judging by the scowl that started growing on Merle’s face—he was the one who had a death wish. Shane must’ve felt your eyes boring into his face, he stood a little straighter, holding your gaze.

“Place is swarmed with those things,” the woman added, nodding her head in agreement. Her eyes darted between you and Shane, a frown growing between her thin eyebrows.

“You heard ‘bout the refugee camp?” Shane asked as his gaze left yours, focusing on your younger brother instead. Daryl’s nod confirmed his suspicions. “It’s not there anymore. Don’t think it survived the napalm.”

The archer looked at you, and you could almost see the gears turning in his head. You could’ve met the same fate if you didn’t leave the city to look for them. The thought that he could’ve lost you made him sick to his stomach. He exhaled deeply, his chest shaking with the trembling of his breath. You squeezed his arm briefly—a simple reassurance that you’re still there in one piece.

“Guess our plan jus’ died,” he mumbled out, mostly to you and Merle. His words were a weight off your chest.

Shane eyed Daryl’s crossbow, and an idea popped into his head. “You good with that thing?” He nodded his head toward the weapon, making the archer look between him and the crossbow confused.

“Shoots since he was a lil’ bastard,” Merle butted in before his brother could muster up a response. “Should’ve seen how many squirrels and bucks he brings back from huntin’.”

There was an uneasy feeling stirring up in your gut, Merle had a plan, and you were almost one hundred percent sure it wasn’t one worth considering. God, you’d give anything to know what silly little idea he brewed up in this empty skull of his. But he put it in motion before any of you could talk him out of it. Seeing the amazement in the brunette’s eyes and the silent understanding between her and her friend—it was too late for you to save the situation.

“You guys have a tent?” The man asked, crossing his muscular arms over his chest. Did you just see the corner of his mouth quirk up?

“Nah, why?”

Taglist: @yttricuz @twdeadlysins @donttelltheelff @spidergirla5 @depressedfrog2 @clemscult @lonewolf471 @btsiguess-kpop @notquitecannon @the-daily-multi-fandom-post @xhannahbananax03 @sourwolf-sterek32 @wonderful-writer @phoenixblack89 @yolobloggers @sexyseabass @sweetpotatospock @witch-of-letters @capsiclesdoll @kingtwhiddleston @incorrectcapsicle @queentorresstuff @witheringblooddemon @hopefulatrocity @jaiboomer11 @mewlingoizys

#the walking dead #shane walsh x reader #the walking dead x reader #rick grimes x reader #dixon! reader #the walking dead fic #the walking dead series #rick grimes #daryl dixon #shane walsh #merle dixon x sister! reader #daryl dixon x sister! reader #merle dixon #lori grimes #WDWG #way down we go series

73 notes · View notes

blutopaz15 · 10 months

Text

rayllum week 2023

prompt: possession

rated t

tw: blood, stab wound

No.

Callum surges back into himself all at once. The bawling, ragged scream trapped in his head rips through his throat, his limbs tear from the puppet strings—

—and they’re alone again.

Alone together, though, and Callum wills away the black spots at the corners of his vision, wills his swaying legs upright, wills the sickened churning in his stomach down.

He knows what he’s done—what he’s done—and…

Rayla needs him.

She’s all he feels: her hand over his, not just warm but…hot.

Hot because—

“It’s—it’s okay,” she grunts through the whimpering edge of her own choked, gasping sob. “It wasn’t—” Rayla steadies herself against him, her other hand fisted over his shoulder. “—you.”

No.

Callum lets his chin fall, every other joint stubbornly stuck in place, and all he can do is repeat the same strangled word, nearly whispering.

No.

Her blade in her belly, his fingers wrapped around it, her bloody hand over top of his—

No.

He’s frozen, every muscle tensed with the effort of wresting control, his grip still and steady, holding the rest of her blade at bay…and he stares between them, hollowed out with doubt that he’d taken control at all, suddenly sure it’d be given back instead. The wound was too precisely calculated—just deep enough to stop them both in their tracks, just shallow enough that he was sure Aaravos wasn’t done with either of them, the cut slipping perfectly through a seam in her armor that he couldn’t have known about.

Callum flinches at the lingering feeling of Aaravos rifling through him like that, sifting through every little private remembrance—

“Don’t—” Rayla hisses, her hands clenched hard. “Don’t move.”

—all to hurt her.

“You have to get us out of here, Callum.”

No, is still all he can say.

“We can’t stay here.”

No.

“Callum, I can’t protect you like this.”

No.

“Claudia’s not far behind us, and it’s only a matter of time before—”

No.

“Callum, yes.” Rayla winces, clasping his cheeks in her hands harsh enough to jostle the blade, still fixed in his grip. “Callum! Listen to me.”

He does, watching tears dance in her eyes, her lips tremble, her blood smear across her palm, against his face.

“I love you.”

His knuckles ache, and it feels wrong to answer.

But he does.

She smiles at him, and that feels wrong too.

“Together or not at all, right?” she says, each word weaker than the last. “Like you said?”

Callum nods, swallowing thickly.

Rayla needs him.

“So, we have to get out of here.” Her bloody hand leaves his face and she shudders again as she touches her wound. “It’s—it’s not that deep. We…have to take it out.”

He questions her, mouth dry, eyes like magnets back to her blade.

“We can’t get out like this,” she answers, glassy eyes following his, her breath forced through the barest hint of the weakest semblance of a laugh. Before he can say anything more, Rayla braces herself against him, pushing away to spare him, he thinks, from having to hurt her any more than he already has, but—

She cries out, and Callum can’t—

“I can’t,” she gasps, seizing his shoulder tight, cheeks wan with the effort and streaked with tears. “You…have to do it.”

He can’t—

“Callum, please,” Rayla begs, like he’d never ever make her do for anything else. “Listen to me. You have to do this. I…I think I’m gonna go down, and that means you have to do this. You have to take it out, you have to stop the bleeding, and you have to make sure we get back to Ez and Soren.”

Rayla’s hand lays over his again, squeezing his white-knuckled grip beneath.

“You have to.”

Rayla needs him.

Callum can’t—

—but he does.

—and Rayla falls, crashing into him, knees in the dirt, blood seeping from her belly,

“T-told you,” she whispers weakly, her eyes fluttering shut—

—and he’s alone again.

#rayllum week 2023 #rayllum's bad vibes rodeo #rayllum #rayllum ficlet #angst #tw: blood #tw: stab wound #uhhh oops?

79 notes · View notes

sensivs · 11 months

Text

Genya + Sanemi + You

(you never understood why sanemi was so distant from you and genya ever since “the incident”, shouldn’t he be comforting you every second of the day? Like what a REAL brother would do? Your heart slowly shatters as you realize that sanemi isn’t the ‘nemi’ you used to know..)

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING FOR THE INFINITY CASTLE ARC

“Ni ni nemi! Come and get me!” You yelled as you ran through the streets, “y/n stop running! You’re going to fall and I’m not helping you get up!” Sanemi replied.

“Don’t worry aniki I’ll get him” genya said as he then made his way over to you, grabbing you by the back of the shirt and dragging you back over to sanemi, you whined as you were dragged back over to where your older brother was.

Sanemi kept on pushing the cart towards where the market was, your mother had asked you guys to go grab some produce before it became sundown while she was gone.

You skipped happily through the streets, happy to just be in the presence of your big brothers.

You slept soundly along with the rest of your siblings. The night had finally fell and the moon rose to the tippy top of the sky.

“Mom is late..” You heard genya say in a hushed tone, trying to not wake the rest of his siblings up, a light pause stretched for about 2 seconds before sanemi replied “genya, you can’t sleep?” Sanemi asked before adding onto his sentence.

“I’m gonna go look for mom” you heard the rustle of your older getting up from his futon. “Wait, let me come with you” genya replied, “no, I’ll go alone. You must stay at home”.

“Ah- but aniki-“ sanemi then stopped genya, “you have to stay here, didn’t you promise me?” Genya paused for a bit before sitting back on his futon.

He let out a quick “hm”, sanemi smiled before walking out of the house, on his search for his mom. A little giggle caught genya’s attention. He looked over to the row of his other siblings.

“Big brother” the row of siblings all said after one another, “geez everyone’s awake huh?” Genya chuckled as he went to go turn on the light.

So there you all were, sitting around/looking out the window, wondering where your mother could be.

You turned your attention to the door, a dark figure sluggishly dragged itself to the front of the sliding door, “look it’s mom!” One of your siblings called out.

You were about to get up and greet mom but something in your gut shoved you back down next to genya.

“wait! That might not be mom!” just as those words left genya’s mouth, the sight of glass and blood splattered everywhere filled the entire room.

A dark, petite body hunched over in a dark corner, her features darkened by the shadows. She then launched herself towards to both you and genya. But before she could grab you both, sanemi ran into the women, slamming her against the wall enough to break open an entirely new hole in the already destroyed home.

Every thing happened so fast that both you and genya were petrified in place, tears running down both you and your older brother’s face. You both quickly snapped out of your trance and started to try to get everyone up, but to no avail.

“We have to follow aniki (n/n)!” You nodded and got up, taking genya’s hand into yours as you stepped over the shattered pieces of glass littered across the floor. You both started bolting up the hill to where the town was.

The sun rose steadily, taking its sweet time to finally make its appearance. Just as you both reached the top of the hill, you saw sanemi looming over the dead corpse of your mother.

“NEMI!” You screamed as you then ran into the arms of your older brother, crying into his blood soaked clothes. Genya steadily dragged himself towards your mothers body before collapsing onto his knees and bawling his eyes out, holding her close to him as she slowly began to crumble away.

“MOM!! MOM!!” Genya yelled loudly, probably loud enough to hear below the hill, “WHY’D YOU DO IT?! YOU MURDERER” you were taken aback by genya’s choice of words, “it wasn’t his fault genya-!” “SHUT UP (N/N)!! YOU ALWAYS TAKE NEMI’S SIDE NO MATTER WHAT!!!”

Tears bundled up into your eyes, catching onto sanemi’s clothes, you felt arms wrap around you as droplets of water fell onto your head. You looked up to see sanemi’s still-in-shock face but with tears bubbling up in his eyes.

That scene was carved into your mind at this point, never failing to make you cry every time you thought of it. After that day, sanemi kept a far distance from genya, and even after he became a hashira, he still was distant from him.

But he wasn’t that distant from you, instead, you two were seen as brothers more than genya and sanemi. You felt bad for genya, knowing that his twin had a better relationship with his older brother than him.

You walked down the halls of the butterfly estate, you had been in there for a good 3 days and were able to get back out there. Just as you turned the corner, you saw genya walking towards you.

“Genya! I didn’t know you were here!” You we’re very happy to see your brother after your days of hospitalization. Genya looked dead at you, his dark eyes making eye contact with your much lighter ones (you took your mothers eyes while genya took your fathers).

“So.. you’re also just getting out of the butterfly mansion..?” Genya just kept staring at you, not a word leaving his mouth. “Right.. uh.. catch you later..?” You left awkwardly, you could still feel genya’s eyes burning holes onto the back of your head.

﹒⪩⪨﹒

You walked the dark halls of the master’s estate, trying your best to keep your footsteps soft and unheard. You made your way over to your older brothers room, you had some questions to ask him..

You slid his door open and slid it back close once you made your way inside. “..Nemi.. I have.. a question..” you heard sanemi sigh and then a slight rustle.

“Ask away [n/n]” you looked down at your hands that were on your thighs, “why.. don’t you talk to genya anymore..?” You felt sanemi grow tense. The room fell silent, and then he finally spoke, “it’s.. just because I want to keep him safe… I don’t want him to be a demon slayer at all, this job is way too dangerous for a 16 year old”.

“But.. how come you don’t care about the other 16 year old demon slayers..?” “Why should I? They don’t mean anything to me and neither should they to you” sanemi replied rather quickly. As if he anticipated that you would one day ask him that question.

“I understand nemi..” you got up from where you sat and walked back to the door, sliding it just enough for you to slip yourself out of sanemi’s room.

You understood sanemi’s concern for your brother, genya was way more softer than sanemi but he was also more harsher than you so you never saw what the big deal with genya becoming a demon slayer.

﹒⪩⪨﹒

Your breath was more heavy than you last remembered it, you gasped for air as you helplessly lay on the floor. The booming sound of gyomeis flail and axe repeatedly smashing onto the floor and the whooshing sound of the two swords that were battling against each other were the only things you heard.

You groaned as you tried rolling around onto your chest, the wound left by kokushibos sword hurt like nothing you’ve felt before.

You looked around at the depressing sight of muichiro being hung by his own sword on a pillar, you felt so bad for the poor 14 yr old. He shouldn’t be dealing with this at such a young age..

You crawled towards your sword, holding onto the severally shriveled thread of life you you were clinging onto so hard.

You saw muichiro pull his sword out from his shoulder and fall onto the floor, “tokito-san!” You heard genya’s voice call out, the sudden mention of his name made muichiro turn to genyas direction and run over to him.

“Don’t mean to be a bother but could you give my torso a good shove?” “Genya!! You’re alive? Are you going to put your body back together?” “It’s gonna be tough tho” (these are actual words from the manga if you didn’t realize)

“So.. the upper moons hair is over there, can you.. uhh.. get it and help me eat it? I want… to fight til the end. I’ll.. protect aniki and [n/n].. I don’t wanna let him die..” after all this.. genya was still thinking about you and sanemi..?

Muichiro stayed quiet for a few seconds.. “alright.. we’ll fight together to the very end..” you smiled at those words, you were happy at least someone was on genya’s side other than you.

﹒⪩⪨﹒

You leaned on one of the pillars while holding your sword in a stance which said that you were going to attack any second now. You crouched and then jumped to where everyone else was, your jump was powerful enough to project you to hit kokushibos cheek. Leaving a large slash from cheekbone to cheekbone.

Your feet dragged along the polished floor, making a large squeaking noise until you finally came to contact with a pillars base.

You saw bullets from genya’s shotgun being shot at kokushibo, that were then deflected by his sword. In just a second, a tree sprouted from out of no where and trapped kokushibo in a stance on which his sword would crash down on muichiro.

Gyomei and sanemi then closed in on the demon, which then let out a howl of certain death, a sudden gush of moons from his breathing style were thrown back in retaliation.

You saw through terrified eyes that the hit was strong enough to slice through the tree along with muichiro and.. “GENYA!!” You screamed as you then ran over to him.

Your legs begged you to lay down and forget about your brother but you just couldn’t. You cried out genya’s name multiple times as he fell down, in two separate halves.

“GENYA PLEASE, REGENERATE YOURSELF!!” You then tried to push both parts of genya together to make him regenerate, but it didn’t work. “[n-]… [n]..” genya started.

“Y..ou were… t..he b..est.. b..ro..th..er t…o.. ever….exi..st..” you saw that tears were then pouring out of genya’s eyes like a waterfall. “im.. s..o..rry.. f..or.. b…eing.. su..ch.. an.. ass..hole.. t..o..you…… y..your.. e..very..th..ing.. I.. wo..uld.. w..ant.. in.. a.. l..i..tt..le.. br..other..” you sobbed so loud that you didn’t even realize the battle was won.

Himejima then ran to the both of you, “himejima-san! Are you three alright?!” You cried, “we’re alive, it’s okay” Gyomei spoke as he patted your shoulder. “Toki..tou……..toki..tou..” genya spoke, you saw gyomei turn his head to muichiro’s direction, his poor sliced body was laying there, unresponsive.

“Don’t… mind… me…… tokito-san.. treat him.. hurry” genya croaked out, gyomei nodded. But just before he went over to muichiro, he dragged sanemi’s body over to the two of you. Leaving his unconscious body in your care.

Sanemi’s eyes slowly opened, meeting your tear filled eyes, “m..mom..?” “It’s me sanemi..” you chuckles lightly. “Where’s.. genya..?” Your smiled quickly faltered. As your eyes looked down at genya’s poor body.

Sanemi’s eyes grew wide and he let out a loud and painful cry. Grabbing Gyomei’s attention, “WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE!! YOUR BODY.. WHY IS YOUR BODY CRUMBLING LIKE A DEMONS?!” Sanemi then let out another pained cry, “ani..ki…” “DONT WORRY, I’LL DO SOMETHING!! NII-CHAN WILL DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!!”

you realized that genya’s ear had already crumbled away, “sanemi! He can’t hear you-“ you started off before being cut off by genya’s soft voice. “..ni.. chan…. So..rry”.

“Back..then..I..blamed.. you….. sorry… and.. for.. being.. a burden.. sorry” “YOU WERE NEVER A BURDEN TO ME!!! NOT EVEN ONCE!! DONT DIE!!!! DONT YOU DARE DIE BEFORE ME!!” The scene before your eyes was too much for you and you broke down, grabbing onto genya’s clothes and laying your head on his almost-nonexistent arm.

“Thanks.. for.. protecting.. me..” “I DIDNT PROTECT YOU FOR SHIT!!! YOU MORON!!” Sanemi once again cried out, screaming profanities along with the cry. “You.. were.. trying.. to protect.. me…. And I.. wanted.. to.. protect you.. ni.. chan”.

“We.. feel… the same.. because we’re.. brothers….. you.. had many.. horr..bile.. mem..ories…. I want you.. to not die..”

“Because my nii-chan.. and my otouto.. are..the sweet..est.. people.. in the world…” sanemi grabbed tightly onto genya’s clothes as well, “AAAAGHHHH!! COME ON, GOD!! PLEASE PLEASE!!! DONT TAKE MY BROTHER AWAY!!! PLEASE!!”

“Th..ank… you….. my.. br..others…”

—

Genya’s death absolutely BROKE me 🙁🙁🙁

Also I just wanna put this out there

The reason why genya’s words are so chopped up when he’s talking to you is bc he’s in shock

Idk why I thought ppl would question this but the voices (/j) said to do it

#shinaguzawa genya #sanemi shinaguzawa #demon slayer + reader #demon slayer + male reader #angst #demon slayer x male reader #demon slayer #demon slayer x y/n

102 notes · View notes

dragondemoness · 1 year

Text

Sabotage - THH Cast x Ultimate Cuteness Reader Part 3

It had been a week since the incident.

You went back to your day-to-day life like nothing happened, and here you were, back at school.

You walked through the Hope’s Peak hallway alone, with your bunny plush clutched tightly in your arms.

Normally you held your head up high, showing off that adorable smile of yours.

But today, something was really getting you down.

Maybe it was the distress of your bunny attacking your partner?

Or how they reacted to it?

Perhaps that particularly upsetting phone call you had gotten a couple days ago?

Or maybe it was all three of those things. Either way, you were so distracted, you could barely focus on what was ahead of you.

So it was a perfect invitation for you to suddenly trip on something and fall hard onto the floor.

You sat up in a daze and looked up to find your longtime rival standing over you.

It was none other than the Ultimate Bully themselves.

They gave you a smirk, that same smirk that showed that they were in power.

“Well, well. Long time no see, Ultimate Crybaby. I know you’re still trying to figure out the world around you, but anyone could’ve seen my leg from a mile away. What’s the matter, mommy didn’t give you your bottle early enough?”

You tried so hard not to cry, but that remark about your mom made your vision blurry with tears.

The sight of it made the bully’s expression change to irritation.

“Ugh, can’t you go a single second without bawling your damn eyes out? Honestly, how pathetic can you be? But don’t worry, I’ll help you grow up.”

They picked up your plush rabbit, which had landed near their feet after you fell.

You stood up and ran to them, attempting to get the bunny back, but they kicked you in the stomach, forcing you back on the ground.

As you recoiled from the pain, the bully ripped the bunny’s arm, and the stuffing poked out from the stitching.

Just then, your partner arrived on the scene.

Makoto Naegi

“H-Hey! Stop it! They didn’t do anything to you!”

He knows he probably doesn’t stand a chance against the bully, so he helps you up and asks for the bunny back

The bully just throws it at his chest before walking away with a grumble

Then he starts fretting over you and making sure you’re okay

He gives you a big ol hug before bringing you to his dorm

He’ll watch you as you repair your rabbit, feeling bad that he couldn’t do more to protect you

But he’s glad you’re alright now

You’ll spend the rest of the day cuddling, and if you want, he’ll rub your stomach to help with the pain

Byakuya Togami

“And just who gave you the right to put your filthy hands on my significant other? I suggest you get out of my sight immediately before your chances of a bright future become even more slim than they already are.”

The bully runs away and Byakuya carefully picks the bunny up off the floor

Then he walks over and kneels down in front of you before handing the bunny back to you

You take it and look away, unsure of what to say to him

He can see that you’re still upset from the other day, so he’ll ask you to follow him to his dorm so you can talk there

You begrudgingly agree and you go to his dorm together

You sit on his bed in awkward silence while he finds the words to say

He wasn’t used to apologizing when he hurt people’s feelings, but you were different

So he clears his throat before speaking

"(Name), I would like to apologize for my earlier actions. I realize that your rabbit was only trying to protect you, and it was wrong of me to get angry. So... I'm sorry."

That caused you to look up from your lap and over to him

He paused before continuing

“And I’m sorry for calling you childish, as well. I know that rabbit was a gift to you, and it is an incredibly important possession of yours. I shouldn’t have made fun of it, and-“

He stopped himself when he turned and saw tears in your eyes once again

“Oh, um… I didn’t mean to upset you, I-“

Then it hit him

That phone call from the other day

It must’ve been about your grandmother

Now he felt even worse for yelling at you before

“Come here.”

He didn’t need to tell you twice

You scooted close to him and he wrapped his arms around you

You stayed like that until he suggested you get something to eat

He’ll come to the funeral with you and comfort you when you’re feeling down

He also patched up the bunny plush for you, to aid his apology to you

He’s never gonna judge your cutesy style ever again after that

Chihiro Fujisaki

“P-Please… Stop it… They don’t deserve that…”

It takes everything in him to stop himself from crying on the spot

Seeing you in that position reminded him of when he used to get bullied

He knew about your situation with the bully, and he wanted to get stronger so he could protect you

But now that he was face to face with your tormentor, he was frozen with fear

He politely asked for the bunny back and the bully laughed and taunted him with it

This was getting nowhere, so as a split-second decision, he swung his fist and punched the bully in the mouth

The bully stumbled back in surprise, then finally gave up and gave the bunny back

Chihiro hated to be so violent, but something in him felt proud

He rushed to you and hugged you, asking if you were okay and apologizing for shocking you

But you responded by telling him how proud you were of him, causing him to blush and smile

So you returned to his dorm and he cuddled up to you while you stitched up your rabbit

You noticed he seemed down, and asked what was wrong

He explained that he wished he was stronger, so he could protect you from the bullying

He didn’t have someone in his corner back then, but he wanted to be that person for you

You told him that he didn’t have to force himself to do anything, and that you were proud of what he did accomplish

He smiled and snuggled into you

He still wanted to be stronger for you, but that could wait for another time

But right now, all he cared about was you

Leon Kuwata

“Hey! Get the fuck away from them, you piece of shit bastard!”

If the bully doesn’t get out of there, he’s gonna throw a punch or two

Then he’ll help you up and take you to his dorm

He sits next to you while you stitch up your bunny, silently fuming

You’ll notice this and asks him what’s wrong

He grumbles that the bully is a piece of shit and how he wishes he could make them stay away from you forever

You lean against him and tell him that you’re grateful for what he did for you today

He smiles and pulls you close to him, swearing to protect you from that bastard

He’ll offer belly rubs to help with the pain from the bully’s kick

You spend the rest of the day together, and he’ll take you out to eat right after

The bunny acknowledges his resolve, and silently promises to grant his wish

Kiyotaka Ishimaru

“This behavior is not welcome in a school environment, especially towards my significant other! I suggest you leave them alone or I will report you!

So they leave and Taka goes to pick up your bunny

His hands quiver as he reaches for it, but quickly picks it up and returns it to you

Then he’ll help you up and take you to his dorm

He sits in distress while you repair the rabbit, feeling bad that he couldn’t do anything more

He would never do anything violent, but perhaps that really was the only way to get it through to people like that

Homeboy’s been spending too much time with Mondo

You snuggle up to him and tell him it’s okay, that he did enough to protect you from the bully

He didn’t really believe it, but he suppose he can let it go for now

What’s more important is making you feel better

And it doesn't matter if the bully left you alone this time

Taka’s still gonna report them to the principal

And that fucker’s gonna get expelled

Mondo Owada

“Hey. Leave them the fuck alone before I knock your teeth down your fucking throat.”

Ain’t nobody wanna mess with a biker gang leader, especially when he spoke with an unusually calm tone

Somehow that was scarier than yelling, and the bully GTFO’d immediately

Mondo picked up the bunny and handed it to you

You took it and held it close to your chest, cowering away from him

Seeing you afraid of him felt like a knife to the heart

“Hey, uh... I’m really sorry about the other day. That bunny of yours scared the shit outta me, but I didn’t have the right to yell at you like that. I guess the little guy was right to hate me.’

You look up at him and take his hand in yours

“No, it wasn’t. I’m sorry it attacked you. I swear, I didn’t know it was gonna do that.”

He nodded

“I know. Again, I’m really sorry for yellin’ at you.”

You leaned close to him and wrapped your arms around his waist

“It’s okay.”

He stiffened up, but hugged you back

Then he helped you to your feet and brought you to his dorm

You sat next to him on the bed and patched up your rabbit

Mondo looked at you and noticed you still seemed down

“Hey, is somethin’ else bothering you?”

You fixed the rabbit and held it close to your chest

“The other day, after I left, I got a phone call.”

He kept his gaze fixed on you, patiently waiting for you to continue

“Yeah? What was it about?”

Your eyes glistened with tears, and they slowly began to fall

“M-My grandma... She...”

Mondo understood what you meant without needing you to explain

He felt even worse for how he acted before

If he hadn’t been such an asshole, he would’ve been there to support you

But at least he could now

He wrapped his arms around you and gently pulled you into his lap

He’s not used to being so soft with someone, but he’ll give you whatever you need

Yasuhiro Hagakure

“Hey, don’t be mean! What did they do to you?!

He’s trying so hard not to freak out, and it shows

He politely asked for the bunny back, with a quiver in his voice

The bully proved to be difficult to work with, so he quickly grabs the bunny, helps you up and you run to his dorm together

Once you made it to his dorm, he locked the door behind him, relieved that it’s over

He felt really stupid for losing his cool, but now his focus is all on you

You lay on his bed and he holds you close to him in an effort to make you feel better

He’ll rub your stomach and leave little pecks on your head and face

If you want, he’ll also bring out his crystal ball and start rambling about his “predictions” to make you laugh

He watched as you repaired the rabbit, still uncomfortable around it after what happened last time

But it’s important to you, so he was glad you were able to fix it

He wished he had more courage, so he wouldn’t freak out so much in those kinds of situations

But for now, he can at least provide support for you when you need it

He’ll have a talk with Taka about helping get them suspended or something

Hifumi Yamada

“Wh- HEY! How dare you treat my darling (Name) that way?! You are sick, absolutely SICK!!

He’s a little bit afraid, but also furious

Good thing it doesn’t do much to him when the bully tried punching him

He basically absorbed it like it was nothing

And the way he towered over them was horrifying, so they gave up and left

After they left, he started freaking out, asking if you were okay and if they hurt you

He was afraid to touch the bunny after what happened, but he scooped it up and handed it back to you

After that, you headed back to his dorm to hang out

He drew you some wholesome comics to help lift your spirits while you repaired the bunny

If you’re up for it, he’ll gladly cuddle you too

He loves getting opportunities like this, and he’s glad it’s helpful to you as well

He swears he’ll knock the bully’s lights out the next time he sees them

Not out loud, of course

He knows you hate violence, but he can’t stand to see you hurt by anyone

Just an idea in the back pocket, that’s all

Kyoko Kirigiri

“How deplorable. The fact that you’re preying on someone so shy and soft tells me a lot about who you are. Never let me see you do that again.”

Her icy stare is enough to scare the bully away

Kyoko calmly picked up the rabbit and helped you to your feet before taking you to her dorm

She made or brought you your favorite snacks and drinks and just sat with you on her bed

She offered to fix it up for you while you relaxed, so you handed it to her while you laid down

She handed it back to you good as new

She doesn’t mind cuddling you if you want her to

She’ll hold you close to her and rub your back while you rest on her chest

And she’ll find a movie to watch while you cuddle together

Thanks to her father’s role as the principal, she can pull some strings to make sure the bully never bothers you again

Mark her words, you’re not gonna see them very much after that day

Toko Fukawa/Genocide Jack

“Well, well, what do we have here?”

Your eyes shot open at the familiar voice

Genocide Jill stood in front of you with her signature scissors in both hands

And the bully was on the ground, holding their hand to their cheek with a fearful look in their eyes

Genocide Jill held her hand out

“Hand me the bunny.”

The bully held out the rabbit to her and she swiped it from their hand

Then she approached them, grabbed them by the collar and pulled them close to her

Now that their hand wasn’t in the way, you saw a scratch on their cheek that was lightly bleeding

“Don’t you ever think about messin’ with my baby ever again. Got it?”

The bully nodded frantically, and Genocide Jill dropped them on the ground

“Now stand up and get the hell out!”

They scrambled to their feet and ran away immediately

Then Genocide Jil turned to you with her signature grin and walked up to you and gave you a tight hug

“I missed ya, y’know. Did that bastard do anything else?”

You shook your head

“No. They just kicked me really hard.”

She pulled away and handed you your rabbit

“Here ya go. Sorry for maiming it before.”

You took it from her and smiled up at her

“It’s okay. Thank you, Jill.”

She put her scissors away and held one of her braids up to her nose

“Weeeeell, I’d love to stay and talk, sweet cheeks, but Miss Morose wants to have a word with ya. See ya ‘round, cutie.~”

She tickled her nose with her braid and let out a sneeze

She fell back onto the ground, then a second later, she stood back up with the nervous gray eyes you were familiar with

“H-Huh? Wh-What happened?”

Toko saw you and quickly rushed towards you and knelt down in front of you

“A-Are you okay?! That b-bastard didn’t hurt you, d-did they?”

You shook your head, refusing to meet her eyes

She knew you were still upset about the other day, and she knew what she had to do

She held her hands together nervously before speaking

“L-Look, I’m really s-sorry for wh-what I said the other day. I k-know it wasn’t your f-fault. I w-was just sh-shocked and s-scared, and I b-blamed it all on you. Y-You were right. You sh-shouldn’t trust me. All I ever d-do is cause p-problems for people...”

You turned your head and took her hand in yours

“Toko, no. I’m sorry I said that. You never cause problems for me, I swear.”

She looked at you with wide eyes

“R-Really?”

You nodded and smiled

“Yeah.”

You pulled her into your arms and she didn’t hesitate to snuggle into you and hug you back

You missed this, and she did too

You both went to her dorm to relax together

Toko noticed that you were still feeling down and she worried that you were still upset with her, until you explained that it wasn’t the case

It actually had to do with the phone call from the other day, and Toko felt even worse for yelling at you

Even though she was a little stiff, she took you in her arms and comforted you the best she could

She’s definitely not leaving your side anytime soon

Aoi Asahina

“Hey, stop it! Didn’t your parents teach you to be a better person than this?!”

That seemed to irritate the bully, but Aoi didn’t care

She’s not afraid to throw a punch if she has to

So the bully left in surprisingly low spirits

She picked up the bunny with a shaking hand, and returned it to you

Then she hugged you and made sure you were alright before helping you up

Earlier that morning, she picked up a box of donuts to share with you later

This was as good a time as any, so you went to her dorm and she busted them out

Then you cuddled up and watched some movies together

She also gave you some belly rubs to help ease the pain

Next time someone decides to pick on you, she’s calling Sakura

Any friend of Aoi’s is a friend of hers, so you’d best believe she wouldn’t tolerate any kind of nasty behavior towards you

Sayaka Maizono

“Hey! It’s not okay to treat anyone like that, especially someone who did nothing to deserve it! Don’t let me see you putting your hands on them again, got it?!

Once they left, she quickly retrieved the bunny and rushed over to you

She handed you the bunny and hugged you, fretting over you and asking if you were alright

Then you both headed to her dorm

She gave you some snacks and something warm to drink

Then you cuddled up together and she rubbed your stomach to help it feel better

She also insisted on fixing the bunny’s arm for you, so that you could rest and relax

Even though she tried not to show it, she was really mad

She hates that there are people who prey on other people and make it their mission to make them suffer

Especially when the one suffering was you

While she was deep in thought, you sat up and hugged her from behind

She smiled and laid back down to cuddle with you

Even if she couldn’t do much about all the evil in the world, she could protect you from as much of it as you can

Celestia Ludenburg

“Pardon me, but someone as worthless as you shouldn’t be anywhere near my significant other, let alone place your hands on them. So I suggest you leave before I send you back to the PILE OF SHIT YOU CAME FROM!!!”

If that’s not enough to freak someone out, nothing is

The bully ran away immediately after possibly shitting their pants

Celeste picks the bunny and returns it to you with a warm smile

“Here you go, my dear.”

You took it from her and look away

“Thanks...”

Your voice came out meek and soft, and it was barely audible

Celeste could guess that you were still upset from the other day, and she knew what she had to do

“Darling, I am so incredibly sorry for the way I acted during our last date. I was simply stressed out from the incident regarding your rabbit, and I had no right to attack you like that. I sincerely apologize.”

You lightly smiled, but your sad expression was still intact

“It’s okay, Celeste. It’s not your fault.”

She noticed your expression and grew worried

"I truly am sorry. I didn’t intend to upset you.”

You shook your head

“No, it’s not you.”

Her bright red eyes were flooded with concern

“Then what is it, my dear?”

You didn’t respond, and she carefully helped you to your feet and brought you to her dorm to talk

She made tea and listened quietly while you spoke

You explained that while you were on your date, you had gotten a phone call regarding your grandmother

That explained why you seemed so down the other day

She felt like an idiot for not noticing, and a massive asshole for the way she acted

She wrapped her arms around you and pulled you close, one hand rubbing your back and the other holding your head to her chest

She couldn’t get over how horrible she felt, but you were way more important

Sakura Ogami

“I suggest you leave before I snap you in half.”

One look at her, and they’re gone

Sakura picked up the bunny and helped you to your feet

Then it’s off to her dorm to relax

She insisted on repairing the rabbit for you while you rested

She spent the whole time caring for you, holding you and making you her famous protein coffee

Or a nice cup of tea or hot chocolate, if that’s more your style

Despite how calm and gentle she was with you, she was furious on the inside

How dare that jerk pick on someone as adorable as you?

She tried not to let it show, though

She’s not gonna get violent unless she needs to be

But hopefully her warning was enough to keep the bully away from you forever

Mukuro Ikusaba

“Leave. Now.”

She had one hand on the survival knife she carries around, and that’s more than enough to make the bully leave

She picked up the bunny, helped you up and brought you to her dorm

She watched as you carefully stitched up the rabbit’s paw, feeling furious on the inside

As calm as she seemed, she was carefully planning out the bully’s demise

You saw that it was bothering her, and you assured her that you’re okay, and asked her not to do anything rash

She reluctantly promised, and you leaned against her while thanking her for her help

She lightly smiled and cuddled you close, and she gave you belly rubs to ease the pain from the bully’s kick

Later, she’ll bring you to her house to hang out with her and Junko

You and Junko get along fairly well, so Mukuro hopes it’ll help you feel a little better

Even if you don’t want the bully to get hurt, she will at least scare them away so they never come near you again

Junko Enoshima

“Excuse me, who the fuck do you think you are?! You’d better get the hell out before I shove my shoe down your throat!”

They’re high heels too, so they’d better be scared

And they are, so they ran away forever

Junko picked up the bunny and handed it back to you

Then you headed to her dorm to relax for a little bit

"Ugh, what a fucking asshole! How dare they pick on my baby like that?? I swear, if my sister were there, they would’ve been erased from the earth.”

You lightly chuckled at her while you rested on her stomach

“I know. Thanks for protecting me.”

She playfully smirked at you before holding you tighter

After that, she took you to go shopping at any store you want

She knows you don’t like violence, but she’s secretly gonna tell her sister about what happened later

Although, before she can do anything, the bunny’s gonna beat her to it

179 notes · View notes

stormyoceans · 5 months

Note

monica im gonna need you to verbalise what the birthday scene did to you because i've been on the lookout for your reaction.. i know youre barely human rn so whenever you feel like it ofc 🥰

PETRI IT'S SO VERY SWEET OF YOU TO WANT TO KNOW MY REACTION TO THE MOST INSANE 20 MINUTES OF TELEVISION EVER PUT TO FILM BUT IM AFRAID I WON'T EVER BE MENTALLY FIT ENOUGH TO PUT INTO WORDS THE AMOUNT OF PAIN SUFFERING TORMENT AGONY ANGUISH SADNESS DESPAIR DEVASTATION DESPONDENCY HEARTBREAK AND DIVINE WRATH I WENT THROUGH WATCHING THAT ENTIRE SCENE LIKE I WAS GENUINELY WHITE KNUCKLING MY WAY THROUGH IT JUST GNAWING ON FURNITURE TO PREVENT MYSELF FROM GOING ON A KILLING SPREE AND PETROL BOMBING THE GMMTV HEADQUARTERS

i also feel like most people came out of the episode bawling their eyes out for mork and wanting to talk about him, and of course im no different, but at the same time im literally genuinely truly sincerely honest to god fr not kidding when i tell you i could spend the rest of my life talking about day and how good (and underrated) of a character he is. the frankly insane amount of thoughts and feelings i have about him basically overshadowed everything else EXCEPT FOR THE MURDEROUS RAGE I FELT TOWARDS AUGUST. and like.. the thing i appreciate the most about p’aof’s characters is that they’re all incredibly complex and nuanced, there are no heroes and no villains in his stories (despite what night says), so i do think that august cares about day and didn’t have any malicious intent, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions and august’s ones were wrapped up in so much ableism and selfishness since the very beginning, because he never really tried to understand day or think about what would actually make day happy, he just tried to lessen his own guilt for all the times he made day wait hours for him to show up, for all the matches he made them lose because his temper flared up, for all the forgotten birthdays, for not returning day’s feelings. i don’t want to hate august but the pity he feels for day and the guilt that stemmed from it ended up making day’s deepest fear come true and hurting him in ways august can’t even imagine AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY

mork’s anger was so relatable because mork, just like the audience, knows. he’s the only one who knows, not just about day’s heartbreak, but also about august’s words cutting much deeper than a simple rejection. this is exacly the reason day isolated himself and begged his mom not to tell anyone about him losing his sight, and the worst part is that august said all that to mork as if day wasn’t even there, as if he was invisible. honestly i could write a whole other post just about this scene and mork’s anger and the tear running down mork’s cheek not for himself but for day and day taking mork’s hand to stop him from hurting august and mork LETTING HIM and the hug but im sure other people already did better than i ever could and this is already getting way too long so let’s just say that the mental health crisis intervention team that’s always in the room with me when i watch this show had their hands full trying to sedate me (and to think that this was the better outcome too like.. imagine if mork hadn't come back. imagine if august had just walked away leaving day alone with no explanation whatsoever and no way of getting home by himself. KILLING AND MAIMING AND BITING AND TEARING AND RIPPING AND CLAWING AND STABBING AND PUNCHING AND KICKING AND MURDERING)

this mess with august is also making me both appreciate and hurt for day and gee’s friendship because she’s the only person from day’s past who isn’t treating him any differently and who is genuinely trying to understand him, and day TRUSTED her, when he needed someone and mork wasn’t there she is the one he called out for, which is HUGE, but he still isn’t ready to fully open up to her and you can tell this is hurting gee a little because she just wants to be there for him, especially after not being able to for an entire year. unlike everyone else, tho, she respects day’s boundaries and is gonna wait for him to come to her when he’s ready, so it pains me to think that what happened with august might push day towards isolation again (like i know mork isn’t gonna let that happen, but i think day is gonna have a hard time hanging out with other people again, at least for a while) WHICH IS WHY I NEED GEE TO DO WHAT DAY STOPPED MORK FROM DOING AND SLAP SOME SENSE INTO AUGUST

AND OKAY LIKE LET’S TALK ABOUT MORKDAY EVEN IF THINKING ABOUT THEM FOR TOO LONG MAKES ME WANT TO THROW MY WHOLE ASS SELF DOWN A WELL AND DROWN IN 5 CM OF WATER AND ALSO AS WE’VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED IM CLEARLY VERY BIASED TOWARDS DAY EVEN IF I DO TRY TO BE AS OBJECTIVE AS POSSIBLE BUT ALSO LISTEN. people out there blaming day for not falling at mork’s feet right away and hurting mork’s feelings by preferring august (which is not entirely true btw) can meet me in the pit and i don’t wanna get into this here since im just rambling and digressing from what you originally asked way too much, but the point is. people look at this as if emotions are completely clear cut and day can’t both have residual feelings for august and some blooming ones for mork that he isn’t fully aware of, and also everyone seems to forget that day can’t see and mork is his caretaker and he has no idea how much of mork being nice to him is mork actually liking him or mork just doing his job. all of this to say that MY BOY DAY WAS THRILLED AT THE IDEA OF SPENDING HIS BIRTHDAY WITH MORK OKAY??????? HE WAS HAPPY AND EXCITED AND GIFTED MORK HIS FAVORITE PERFUME AFTER SPRAYING IT ON HIM (i could act like a 12 years old and make a joke about day spraying himself on mork since the name of the perfume is ‘day time’ but i won’t because im better than that) [no im not] AND COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT EVER KNOWING SOMEONE NAMED AUGUST. so to hear mork say that he went there as a matchmaker probably was yet another thing that confused day so much about mork’s intentions (and it also had me on the floor recreating the collective wailing scene from midsommar but that’s a different matter)

and like don’t get me wrong, i have no doubts that letting day go with august was probably one of the hardest most painful things mork ever had to do and that the only reason he was actually able to go through with it is because he thought that august was where day’s happiness laid. it was also extremely painful to see mork alone in the background throughout the entire episode, unsure of where he stands in day’s life and feeling like he has no right to claim a place next to him, and day definitely had some part in making him feel like that but i also think that mork was so wrapped up in his own emotions (understandably so) that he didn’t really listen to all the times day was asking him to stay. "not a boss. let's just say im a friend", "why didn't you join us for dinner?", "so will you tell me now what you're going as if not my caretaker?". day may not be sure of his own feelings or how to define his relationship with mork, but he does know that mork belongs right next to him, and seeing day looking for mork and not finding him was just as painful as mork once again not being able to give the damn sunflower to day LIKE SERIOUSLY HOW MANY MORE SUNFLOWERS ARE WE GOING TO GO THROUGH BEFORE IT FINALLY GETS TO DAY STOP THIS MADNESS

AND DON’T EVEN LET ME GET STARTED ON THE SYMBOLISM OF IT ALL AND HOW - JUST LIKE AT THE BEGINNING THEY BOTH WERE THE UNHAPPY PRINCE AND THE UNTAMED FOX IN NEED OF A FRIEND WHO WOULD TAKE THE TIME AND EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND -THEY NOW BOTH ARE THE SUN AND THE SUNFLOWER CHASING THE LIGHT THAT MAKES IT VISIBLE BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN TRULY SEE EACH OTHER AND HOW ALL OF THIS TIES WITH THE KISS HAPPENING AS THE SUN RISES OR I WILL START MAKING RABIS-RIDDLED CREATURE NOISES

im very likely forgetting so many things i wanted to say and that are worth mentioning but this already enough of a mess and i’ve also reached that point of insanity where i need to go meditate in a sensory deprivation chamber to come down from the sheer manic energies that thinking about this show has me going on SO. let’s just leave it at that

IN CONCLUSION. RIP ME

#NOT A SINGLE COHERENT THOUGHT FOUND THIS IS BASICALLY JUST STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS AT ITS WORSE #AND THIS FRIENDS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER LET ME TALK ABOUT ANY JIMMYSEA/VICE VERSA/LAST TWILIGHT RELATED MATTER #CAN I APOLOGIZE FOR THIS UNSUBSTANTIAL MESS NOW #last twilight the series #petri 🩵#m: ask

20 notes · View notes

giasparadise · 1 year

Text

Mikey x Reader “I’ll always protect you”

Fluff December day 3

fluff December masterlist

warnings: Fluff, violence, stalking, cursing

You where walking home from school at around 8:30 at night. I know. Not the most ideal situation for a 15 year old girl to be walking home alone, late at night, without any weapons throughout a bad neighborhood. Your parents usually take you home however your mom was at a meeting and your mama was undergoing surgery. Nothing big just a small breast biopsy.

Either way it left you walking home alone in your sweaty clothes from basketball practice. It was getting freezing outside and your once overheated body soon turned into one a kin to chilled jello. But that wasn’t the real issue. the real issue was that you felt as if somebody was watching you.at first it seemed like your mind was just playing tricks on you, as if the person you thought you had seen behind you was just a figment of your imagination. But after taking four right turns and ending up in the exact same spot with the guy still on your trail, you knew you where being followed.

At this point you where horrified and started hyperventilating, trying to think off possible weapons to defend yourself with. Don’t get me wrong you where by no means a weak or unhealthy person, however your mussel story is kinda more,” to much flab, not enough abb “ (the Lego Batman movie)

You made a mental list of things you could use if he tried to confront you. Your books? No you left them in your locker. Your scissors? No those are in the bottom of your bag, by the time you get them it will be too late. Your phone? That’s it! You can call someone. But who can you call? It’s night and your moms are busy…

A motorcycle roar snaps you back to reality. Of course that’s who I’ll call! You grabbed your phone from your pocket and dialed up the number.

“hey baby~“ the cheerful guy on the other line said.

“hey babes.” The girl said quietly into the flip phone, “how fast can you make it to *insert road name*”

“Hmm” the blonde thought for a second, “Around 5 minutes why? You miss me~” he continued making smooching noises at the phone.”

“I’m being followed and am starting to get scared. Please help.”

The line went silent before in a very serious voice he said,”I’m on my way.” Before hanging up.

That was four minutes ago. The poor girl was full on sprinting away from this guy and was getting terrified. Tears dripping down her beautiful s/c skin onto her shirt. And just when she thought, ‘this is it. I’m going to die or worse.” She heard it. The sound of Mikey’s Cb250T. And it was getting louder by the second.

She had gotten so caught up in her relief to notice that the guy had caught up to her. It wasn’t until the stalker pulled her back by her hair that she noticed. But by the it was too late. Mikey was right in-front of them. And he was pissed.

“What the hell do you think your doing asshole?” The stranger said in a slightly scared tone.

“Get your filthy hands off her now.” The blonde said staring at the guy like he was something he found in Peke J’s litter box.

“None of your busine-“ he didn’t get to finish before Mikey knocked him out cold with his signature kick.

You couldn’t contain it anymore you leaped onto him barring your face into his chest and tightly clutching his Toman jacket in your hands. He was taken aback by the action, but quickly wrapped his arms around you cradling your head. You continued to bawl saying things like “thank you” and “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“Shhhh, it’s ok Babe. I’m here now it’s ok. I swear I will never let anything happen to you. I’ll always protect you no matter what. Now come on, I’ll drive you home.”

#Mikey #Manijro Sano #Mikey sano #Mikey x reader #manjirou x reader #Sano x reader #manjirou sano x reader #Tokyo Revengers #Tokyo Revengers x reader #Mikey fluff #Mikey x reader fluff

167 notes · View notes

ateezivy · 1 year

Text

hurt

( 2019 )

Ivy could apologize a million times and it still won’t change the fact that she hurt him. Mingi doesn’t know what to do. The room felt cold, the only sound was the air conditioner and the ringing in his ears. The summer night heat made it impossible to sleep, so Seonghwa always had the AC on high at night, that explains the freezing air, but not the constant ringing. Mingi sat next to the girl, listening to her every word as she bawled her eyes out, wanting to make things right. But he wasn’t sure if she could do that. She doesn’t even have faith in herself.

“If you wanted me why did you go out with people?" "Why did you put yourself in scandal after scandal?" "Why did you put yourself in danger?" "Why are you doing this?”

She couldn’t find the words to explain it. She wanted to, she tried, but to Mingi it was just excuse after excuse. Because there’s no reason to put herself in that kind of danger, in the hands of strangers and Dispatch, and if there is one it better be a damn good reasoning.

She would say, “Because I wanted to move on,” but that wasn’t enough in his book, and if she’s being honest, it wasn’t enough in hers either. Then there was the “I just wanted to try something new,” but let’s be real, Ivy is so extremely anxious around new people. She was going out with people Mingi hasn’t even heard of, where did she even find them?

So what was the reason? Well, if she’s being honest. She wanted a reaction. In some sick, fucked up way, that’s what she wanted. She wanted Mingi to confess everything to her, she wanted him to bring her back to reality. But she never meant to hurt him. In the beginning, all she needed was a confession. Then these dates started to become fun. Free drinks and food, meeting some interesting people. She felt sort of free, like a normal 18-year-old.

Isn’t this what young adulthood was about? Dating? Having fun? Experiencing a new view of the world. But she realized she was in the wrong when she came home drunk one night. Hongjoong and Seonghwa were waiting up until two in the morning. They got her to bed, stating that Hongjoong would have a word with her in the morning about how she needed to take some responsibility because she was going to jeopardize not just herself but the whole group. But she left early that next morning without a word. She didn’t need a lecture. But again, she knew she was falling off the deep end at that point. And she didn’t think to fix it until now. But why?

It felt like an addiction of some sort, with or without alcohol and nicotine. Going out with strangers she met through friends of friends of friends, going out with Somi or some other friends. These moments felt like a drug to her. She didn’t care who she was with, who she was seen with. She was just fucking around for the hell of it, she felt like she was living.

But at what cost did she live? Was hurting the love of her life worth it? Was it worth some sorority-like living? Hanging out with people she just met in the most suspicious bars, she had nightmares about them.

“Did you stay safe?” His number one concern is her safety. Was she safe? Was she?

“Not really…” She trailed off. She was harassed, almost got caught up in a fight, left alone drunk in the streets.

People would grab her, telling her she was gorgeous and they’d just love to do things to or with her. Then saying “You’re that idol chick aren’t you?” No. Her answer was always no. Some drunk college girls would pick fights with her because it would get them some press. Then one of her five actual dates had her pay for everything, then asked her to go to a bar in the middle of town. She went, saying she could use some drinks. And then he disappeared once they arrived. He used her and then left her for dead. Somi picked up a few too many late-night calls from her drunk best friend, she started going with her everywhere, not letting her go into specific places, not letting her meet with people alone. “Your members have got to be worried about you.” She’s said that so many times, it was starting to get on Ivy’s nerves.

“Oh well” was what she would respond with.

“Jisoo…” Mingi’s disappointment laced his voice, snapping out of her memory reel.

“Everything I did, I did it so you would talk to me.” She blurted out, making the taller furrow his eyebrows and look her in the eyes. “And then it went too far. I came home drunk a few times, I got harassed, and I almost got into some physical altercations.” She chuckled at her own ridiculousness, she met his eyes again seeing nothing but a worried expression. He looked like he was going to be sick almost. “Could you imagine me coming home with a black eye?” She joked, but a tear fell down her face before she started bawling. And the next words that left her mouth, the thing she was thinking through this whole situation, broke him.

“I’m turning into my mother” She sobbed. He knew every story about her mother, every story she could remember at least. The trauma, the abuse, the addiction. Maybe it had played a part in her current affairs. But she didn’t want to admit that her mother’s past actions had this effect on her.

Mingi held her as she sobbed into his chest. “All I wanted to do was for you to notice me” She wept out.

“There was no need for it” He whispered as he kissed her head. The boys that had their ears to the door backed away, and a feeling of nausea filled Jongho’s stomach. His best friend was hurting, and he was so angry with her.

Cries filled the room. You would think someone died. And maybe a part of herself did die at that moment. Maybe she was useless, she felt like it. Like a burden. How could she do this to them, how could she turn out like her mom?

The cries began to die down after a while. The coldness started to make her shiver, but then again it could be her anxiety, she couldn’t tell, nor did she care. She was exhausted. She was living off of adrenaline, 2 hours of sleep each night, and whatever energy drink she bought that morning. Mingi was still holding her, his back was beginning to ache but he didn’t dare move, not until he noticed how her silent sobs and sniffles turned into soft, deep breathing. Almost snores. He looked down at her, seeing her limp body resting on his. He sighed, leaning back so he laid flat on the couch, Ivy lay on his stomach after jolting awake. “Go to sleep, we’ll talk more in the morning.”

The next morning Mingi woke up to someone tapping his shoulder. He felt a weight on his chest as he opened his eyes, seeing the weight was Ivy’s sleeping body and the tap on his shoulder was Yeosangs hand. “We’re gonna leave for a while,” the older of the two said softly, making sure not to wake the girl up, “you two still have some stuff to work out, and none of us have been able to go out and do anything when we’re worried about her.”

Mingi nodded in agreement and waved at the others as they all left as quietly as possible. His phone had been laying on the coffee table, he wasn’t sure when he set it there, and he wasn’t even sure he actually did. He picked it up to see the time, the bright light making him flinch as he read 10:24 AM. He put the phone beside him, plopping his head back on the couch.

His body ached, he had been laying on this uncomfortable couch that his legs didn't even fully fit on. Ivy had moved around a lot over the night, she somehow went from laying face-first on his stomach to laying on his chest. She somehow fit her body in the small space between Mingi’s body and the couch. She had to be uncomfortable…

He gently shook her awake, surprised she didn’t wake up from his shifting as it was. She didn’t move but instead hummed to confirm her consciousness. “Wake up.” his morning voice made her feel that familiar fluttering in her stomach. “No,” she mumbled and shifted herself in an attempt to get comfortable.

“At least let me up,” he begged as he nudged her repeatedly. “It’s already almost 10:30. My body hurts, c’mon.” She grumbled and sits off, letting the taller finally sit up straight. They both stretched before Mingi sat up against the back of the couch, just to have the girl plop her head right back on his shoulder. She was still so exhausted from the previous night, she let out a yawn as Mingi scrolled through his phone. She fell back asleep not long after, he could tell by the way she was breathing. But it wasn’t long before he started getting hungry, and he can’t imagine the last time she had a real meal. He gently moved her body so that she went from laying on him to laying on the couch. She grumbled and pouted as she rested on the cold couch, but she eventually dealt with it while Mingi cooked a simple breakfast. The smell of food is what woke Olivia up again a few minutes later, making her sit up with a pout. She could hear Mingi humming from the kitchen, he always does that when he’s doing something like cleaning or cooking. Usually, she can’t recognize the tune and she wonders if he and Hongjoong made it.

She gets off the couch and shuffles to the kitchen, she fell asleep in her daytime clothes but she didn’t seem to even notice until she stood up and her jeans were twisted around her waist. She makes a turn into her bedroom to change into a pair of boxers that fit like shorts and one of Mingi’s t-shirts before she walked back out.

“What’re you making?” She mumbled a little as she stepped into the kitchen. Mingi turns and looks at her, “Just some eggs and rice, yours is already done” he points at the big bowl of rice and fried egg sitting on the counter. He put all of her favorite sauces to put on her food, she’s a hot sauce addict so she usually drenches it in sriracha or some other hot sauce. She puts her favorites over her food before sitting at the table and devours the food as soon as Mingi starts eating.

After eating the two sit awkwardly on their phones. How are they supposed to bring this up? How do they start the conversation? Where do they start?

“You’re not turning into your mother.” Mingi blurts out, taking the girl by surprise. She looks at him with wide eyes and a head tilt “You said it last night, you’re not turning into her.”

Mingi didn’t personally know Nicole, and nor did he really have the desire to, but he knows enough about her to know that she just isn’t a good person. Sure she tries to be, but the things she put her kids through were absolutely horrible, and Ivy is nowhere near that. She’s such an amazing person, does she make stupid mistakes? Sure, but who the fuck doesn’t?

“I’m scared I will…” It’s her biggest fear, it’s even caused her to not want kids. Well, kind of, she would love to have a kid in the future, she loves children, but she doesn’t want to hurt them. She knows it’s probably better if she doesn’t have kids, at least not until she’s healed.

“You won’t. None of us will let you, not Jongho, not Hongjoong, not Miya or Austin, not me.”

He knows Olivia would never turn into her mother, she has too much of a support system to do that. It’s easy for Mingi to say these things, and easy for him to believe them. But to her, not so much. Olivia grew up with so much trauma and history rooted in drugs and addictions. She didn’t believe she could beat that, she didn’t believe that the long line of addictions were easy to beat. She wanted to give up, and she hadn’t even begun.

“Promise?” She knew it was silly, she felt like a child asking it. But she needed his word. “Promise.”

The hours went by. Talking non-stop about their feelings, their actions, their hurt. It's safe to say they were both in some sort of wrong, Mingi should have confessed or talked to her when he knew he could. Ivy shouldn't have done any of the things she did.

They were both red-eyed from the tears, stuffy noses, and hoarse voices. They both had this feeling in the pit of their stomachs. The gut-wrenching feeling. They both knew the next step in this conversation, and the silence between the two proves it. All it took was a look from Mingi after a few seconds to make her tear up again. She knew what was coming, she knew what they wanted versus what they needed. And she knew those two things had completely different outcomes.

“We’re not ready,” He spoke silently. “We need to focus on other things right now, we can’t be doing this all the time.” It’s true. Their main focus as rookies should be their careers. They need to focus on comebacks, dancing, singing, and fans, they can't worry about what they are and how they feel at the moment. Maybe in a few months, years, but not now. Did it kill them both inside? Of course. But they need to worry about their livelihood before they worry about them.

“I know,” she whispered and stared at her fingers as they fiddled with each other. Her feet were planted on the couch, knees close to her chest. Mingi was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, head in hands.

“I love you, Jisoo,” He states, making her heartbeat faster and her eyes finally meet his. His dark eyes were filled with sorrow “But we can’t.”

These final words make Ivy break out into tears again. She hides her face in her knees and sobs as Mingi scoots closer and holds her. He whispers sweet words and apologies into her hair as his lips plant kisses there. But he has nothing to apologize for. He’s doing what needs to be done. This is how things need to go. It’s not their time right now.

The two are interrupted by the door opening and Wooyoung’s laughter. Ivy hugs her legs as Mingi looks at the others. Wooyoung looks at them with an uncomfortable feeling as the other members flood into the room. Jongho moves past him to grab the girl to her bedroom, he knows she probably wants to be alone right now, she doesn’t want to be seen. The rapper lets go of her and watches as her best friend drags her away from him.

“So… I’m guessing you two aren’t together?” Wooyoung whispered as the bedroom door shut. The singer earns a slap on the head from Hongjoong as the taller member on the couch shakes his head.

“What happened?” The leader asked with sincerity lacing his voice.

"Nothing."

taglist: @atolua @skzfairies @itzy-eve @cixrosie @stopeatread @alixnsuperstxr @smh-anon @txt-yaomi @starmaniic

61 notes · View notes

charleecat-bat · 7 months

Text

"So, what's the scariest thing that's ever happened to you? What happened?"

Tiberius' Story- Summer Camp Sighting

Okay. I haven’t really spoken about this to anyone but, what’s a better time to finally get it off my chest better than now, right?

I just hope no one gives me shit for this story. I’m not trying to fake nothin' for attention or exaggerate and all that bullshit. This happened.

I was around like... 9? 10 years old? I wasn’t TOO young, but not a tween yet, pre-pubescent. Anyway. My parents had decided to sign me up for Summer Camp. I wasn’t sure if I was gonna be into the whole thing, but my gramps had signed my dad up as a kid, and while he hated it at first, he wound up loving it and going back to it for years. So I guess my old man hoped the same would happen for me.

If only it turned out that way...

I’m embarrassed to say, but… I wasn’t as popular as I wished I was as a kid. I was picked on a lot for a lot of bullshit reasons. Especially to do with stuff I couldn’t help, like my fur colour or how small I was. I hated it. I was a huge target for a lot of the big kids. And for those asking ‘What about the counsellors?’ Well, you know those typical teenager-20-year-old counsellors in horror movies? That were less focused on the kids and more on smoking, drinking and putting their tongues down each other's throats? Yeah, those were the type of counsellors I had, and the few decent ones- well, just didn’t really do much to help me.

What made it worse was that despite this, I was so desperate to seem cool to most of the kids. I did a lot of shit that wound up just making me look stupid or getting me hurt. Kids can be fucking cruel.

Anyway, not important.

It was evening time and just about everyone was sat around a giant bonfire, just doing their own thing. Honestly, due to how most of the counsellors were focused on themselves, I'm shocked that I don’t remember a lot of the kids sneaking off. Maybe they did. Wouldn't surprise me. I don’t remember quite what happened at this point, but a bunch of the little shit ‘cool kids’ that I wanted to be friends with so had just finished doing another hazing ritual to me. I even don’t remember what it was, but I do know it was embarrassing and upsetting enough to make me come up with some excuse to leave.

(imagine illustrated by @btm-txt)

I remember announcing that I was gonna ditch this place and go into the woods alone, and as a plus for me at the time, a lot of the kids thought that was ballsy since it was getting dark and not really recommended for any of us to be out there after dark. Didn't stop me, though, and probably didn't stop other kids doing it either. I didn’t care, though. I just wanted to go somewhere to cry alone without being picked on anymore. As pathetic as it sounds, this wasn’t the first time I came to the woods to cry. In fact, I was caught doing it once, but that just made me go deeper into the woods to avoid getting seen by the other kids.

I was trying really hard to like it there, but I didn’t. I hated it. I hated it SO much. I wanted to go home so bad. So, out of my embarrassment and homesickness, I just started to bawl my eyes out. I must’ve sat there crying for a good 10 minutes maybe, until a sound made me go quiet.

SNAP

The break of a stick.

I immediately sat there in dead silence as I quietly began looking around. Now, my first thought would’ve been it was more kids that found me, but you know as much as I do, kids aren’t that sneaky. You’d be hearing giggling and a lot of movement. Hell, a lot of kids I knew at that camp would’ve just barged through to laugh at me, not hide from me. And if it were a counsellor, they’d immediately be approaching me, not hiding either. So… the idea that someone was trying to sneak up on me was already really fucking creepy.

I didn’t see anything for a bit, no matter where i looked there was just nothing around me except more woods.

Until I turned my head towards another crack of a branch. This time it was closer and louder. I quickly turned, and I saw this... figure. This tall, lingering figure; just standing between the trees in the darkness. it was hunched over, and its arms were long and dangly. It just… wasn’t normal. The one thing I could see clearly were its eyes. At least I think they were. These small white glowing orbs just staring at me.

(Illustrated by @btm-txt)

You know those times when you’re so scared you just can’t move? That’s what happened. I wanted to scream, I wanted to run but I just couldn’t. I was frozen I just stared at…whatever this fucking thing was.

I don’t know how long i was locked in a staring match with the thing for. But eventually, it just vanished from my sight. I don’t know where the hell it went, but as soon as it left. I booked it.

I just ran in a random direction into the woods, which looking back now, was a dumbass move; I dunno why I didn’t go back to the camp, but I guess I just wasn’t thinking. I was just a scared kid who wanted to get away from whatever I saw. After running out of breath and hiding under a fallen tree, I just curled up, trying to catch my breath and calm down. That wasn’t easy, considering I was JUST crying, holding my breath in fear and THEN ran for it. So I may as well have sounded like an asthmatic. Eventually, my breathing calmed down, but I just stayed in that spot. I was too scared to move as you could expect. The woods were eerily quiet except for a few of the typical noises but that didn’t make me feel better. The coldness began to get to me, too, so now I was shaking both out of fear and the cold.

(Illustrated by @starlitskvader)

“Tiberius?”. I heard someone call my name, I looked up and around but still didn’t see anyone. “Tiberius? Where are you?”. I heard it again; this time the voice was clearer… it was my dad's. My dad’s voice. I had no idea how it was possible but my kid brain didn’t care. I was happy, and I crawled out of my hiding place immediately. I started calling out for him. “Dad?! Dad?! Where are you?” “Come here, Tiberius. I can’t find you”, the voice spoke out again in a weirdly calm tone. If I wasn’t in such a stressful situation, I maybe would’ve picked up on the strange way my dad was talking, but like I said, I didn’t care at the time. I was just relieved that my dad was here and thinking I was gonna finally get out of there and go home. I started going through the woods, following the voice that sounded like my dad but my excitement started slowing down and it started to hit me. The more closer I got to the voice, the more I realised it sounded... off. The strange calmness was still not a warning sign for me, but what was is that the voice just sounded so… shaky? Fake? It sounded like my dad but something about it just didn’t FEEL like it was from him. More like someone trying to do an impression of him, but how was that possible? He was back on the island, ages away from here. No one here would possibly know what he sounded like except for maybe one or two counsellors but that was way too much of a longshot. Why would some counsellor be doing an impression anyway, it made no sense...

I soon stopped when I saw a figure again, the dark outline approached slowly and as it got closer it started to look like my dad. I smiled but… something felt wrong, really wrong. Something in my gut was screaming at me that I needed to run, but I didn’t know why. It was my dad; it had to be, I thought. The figure of my dad stopped, I could see some of the details, the salmon pink fur, the long curled spines, even the clothes, the hiking boots, and all the gear he wears on him. It had to be him, It was uncanny!

But something still felt wrong... “Hello, son. Come here, let's go home”, it stretched it's arms out. My smile vanished… now that I was right there, I really picked up how weird his voice was… something was really wrong with it. ‘Till this day i still can’t pick up on how it was exactly. You just kinda had to be there to know. You could just tell it wasn’t right, and listening to it made you feel like something was crawling up your spine. I didn’t move. “Tiberius? What’s wrong?” it spoke, taking a step forward. I started to notice this-this thing. Its arms were way too long for the body, and 'my dad's hair was starting to move, almost like tentacles or some shit... I couldn't understand what I was seeing.

(Illustrated by @starlitskvader) Stupidly, I spoke up out of nervousness. “W-...who are you?”. “It’s me, son. Come here, give me a hug”. The long arms stretched out even further and closer to me and the figure took a few steps forward, coming completely out of the darkness of the trees showing its face… it was not my father. That face. I don’t know if I could begin to describe it. The smile was huge and unnatural, going all the way to the cheeks, full of uneven teeth that made me think of a fucked-up shark. Rows upon rows of these janked up teeth. The eyes were open wider than I thought possible, the pupils tiny and barely visible. Staring into my fucking soul. And to this day the gaze of this thing, pretending to be my father, has haunted me.

“Come here, son. Come to me”, it spoke as it started approaching me. The voice fell apart and sounded more unnatural. It started moving with a strange twitch and making these strange sounds. After being frozen in utter fear this entire time, my legs finally moved, and I booked it. Just running back as fast as my little legs could take me. The entire time, I could hear a slurry of noises. The best I can describe them was like a bunch of demonic feral sounds, along with fast, savage movement coming after me from behind. I knew it was chasing me; whatever this thing was, it wanted me. I had no idea what it wanted to do with me, but I knew it’d probably result in me being fucking dead.

I only looked behind me once… and the image of this thing, still trying to appear like my father, running around like a fucking animal. Running on all four of its distorted limbs and it's fucked up face looking up at me. It was at this point I started screaming my lungs out in terror; I didn’t even care if I was crying anymore. That was the least of my worries.

When I finally got out of the woods, I scrambled my way to whatever was closest, which was the stairs to a cabin, I think. I don’t remember how many people approached me at first, but i remember hearing a lot of voices, and eventually, a bunch of counsellors came running over, trying to calm me down. I was screaming, crying and thrashing around for ages. Not even the little shit kids were laughing; everyone was wondering what the fuck was wrong with me. It took me ages to finally calm down enough, but even then, I just couldn’t explain. I tried to, but it came out as nonsense. I was a scared kid who saw something that was worse than any horror movie I’d heard of at the time.

Eventually, the adults kinda gave up on trying to get an explanation from me after they kept asking me to ‘stop lying’ or to ‘make some sense’, but I wasn’t. They just assumed I'd get over it after that night or so and I'd be fine.

I was the furthest from it. That night I didn’t get a wink of sleep. I laid awake, shaking and hiding underneath the covers. I don’t remember speaking much, if at all, after that. I just shut down. I didn't do any of the activities. I barely ate. I was practically a shell of a person. I didn’t know how to process what the fuck I just saw.

(Illustrated by @btm-txt) After a few days. Yes. I know. DAYS. My family was finally called, and the counsellors told me my dad was coming to get me ASAP. I couldn’t even be happy about it. I think at that point they just made sure to have a counsellor with me at all times. Dunno what for exactly, since I wasn’t really doing anything and it's not like them being around made any difference to begin with. I guess I just made them super fucking worried. When my dad got here, with my mom and grandpa, they all rushed towards me. My dad quickly hugged me and picked me up, but I don’t even remember reacting much other than curling up a little into him. Meanwhile, my mom and grandpa went from fussing over me to yelling at the counsellors at the blink of an eye. They were furious. I don't remember what went on with that conversation but I could only imagine what went on.

(illustrated by @btm-txt)

I didn’t hear much else about what they talked about, as my dad just put me in the car with my things already packed. He sat in the back with me on the drive home, just holding me as I laid my head against him. When we got home. My family, mostly my grandpa, wound up suing that summer camp over what happened to me and not helping me much at all during the whole time and not even seeing me go into the woods at all. The camp wound up being charged with gross negligence and closed down not long after. I don’t even think I said anything on the drive home or when I got home. I don’t remember when I started talking again, but I didn’t talk about this that’s for sure. It was hard though, I had nightmares and apparently night terrors for weeks, I’d apparently wake up screaming and when my parents would come to comfort me, I’d fall back asleep and not remember the next morning. Speaking of no memory, I actually didn’t remember this for a long time. I guess I tried so hard to forget most of this nightmare that I eventually did. Well, most of it. I still remembered two things. One. I always unconsciously remembered something bad happening to me in the woods, so it made me permanently uncomfortable with the idea of going into any woods, forests or any of that shit. To the point I was even terrified of letting my daughter go camping with my dad. I couldn’t even give an explanation as to why I just said I didn’t like it but I didn't stop them. I just made it painfully I didn't like it. I'm not surprised if my Dad was a little disappointed at how much I grew to hate the forest. I know he loves the outdoors and camping, and I knew he was really sad he couldn't share that with me I could see it with my daughter too, how she'd beg me to take her camping to let her try it and I just refused At least they had each other. I always felt bad that I was so against any sort of activity to do with the woods without even having a proper reason for them…until now at least. They never held it against me though, and I'm grateful for that.

And two, even after all of that… I had never forgotten that face. I think after a few years, I thought it was some messed up dream, but it’s imprinted itself into my brain. That horrible fucking face.

Now that this is fresh in my memory, I actually decided to look up stuff on the area of that camp and that forest… and it turns out. Some weird shit has happened in those woods at night. A lot of people have had stories Stemming from being stalked by an unseen pursuer, being chased by a weird animal, or even like me, having some… thing… look like someone they know approach them and talk to them. After doing more research, a few people think that it’s not a paranormal occurrence or some weird spirit or demon doing this. Instead, these people believe it’s a shapeshifting creature; it goes by many names, but it all means the same. It takes the form of animals and people in order to lure people toward it so it can kill and eat them and or then take their place as their doppelganger.

I don’t believe that entirely, but… I know for sure now that something definitely happened to me in those woods. It wasn’t just a nightmare or a fucked up scenario I imagined. It was real. I honestly don’t know what scenario is worse, if it actually was a dangerous person after me that went way too far, if it was something paranormal or… if there really was a creature in there. Something dangerous. Sometimes, I wonder if… despite all of these years, it’s still there. In the woods. Waiting to lure another person… Not like I’m ever gonna find out for myself, though. I am never EVER going back there. Never.

If you read this far. Thank you and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

29 notes · View notes