#feels like someone took an ice pick to my brain
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Are you doing ok?
You've barely noticed the barometric pressure change and the intense headache it gives you before the big storm that's coming.
#feels like someone took an ice pick to my brain#my sinuses#pressure headache#storms#winter storm#barometric pressure#air pressure#send help#or 'maryona' 'mary ona cross'
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part 4. of toxic simon
a/n: got a few ideas from my requests on what to add for this part so thank you very much, ash loves you <3
cw: kidnapping, weapons, murder, angst, comfort, themes of smut
It had been a few weeks since simon had walked in on you and alex. since that night, there had been a dramatic shift in the price home. the once broody lieutenant was now just the pure embodiment of rage and misery.
he barely left the guest room for the whole of his leave. and when he did, he was causing problems. never in front of your father, however. he's not stupid. but he constantly felt the need to size up alex in front of you. looming over him with that fucking mask on, flexing his muscles.
alex never indulges in simon's desperate attempts to pull a viscous reaction from him. to make you see that your new man isn't that much nicer than him, darl'. so you might as well come back to what you know.
no, instead alex leads you out of the room. not without a soft mumble of 'let's go sugar. you don't need to be hearing this.' simon wonders if you've told alex about him. about how he smashed your heart into a million little pieces.
he's gotten low a couple of nights. resorting to snapping mirror picks in his tight black briefs after his shower. you there were no identifiers that it was ghost. no, only you knew it was simon.
he's a bastard. he knows he wont get a response from you. he will, however, get to listen to the hushed bickering coming from you and alex that night when he sees the photo.
alex got called away on duty after a big fight between the two of you. It was clear that you hadn't made up by the time he left, either. simon can tell by the way you moped around. barely speaking to anyone in the home. simon tried to speak to you, hoping to score back some points whilst things were rocky between you and your man. you just brushed him off, sulking back off to your room.
later that night when simon was laying in bed, his phone buzzed with a text from you.
'simon' was all it read
simon rolled his eyes, feeling like a kicked puppy after you ignored him, he decided to ignore your message. puts his phone down and rolls over to go to sleep, ignoring the constant buzzing of his phone from behind him.
simon was sure he got a few good hours of sleep before being violently woken up to a strong hand shaking his shoulder.
"simon. simon, get up." he recognises your father's panicked voice calling out to him. he's groggy for a few moments before your father says two words that hit him like a bucket of ice water,
"she's gone."
simon feels and ice cold chill run down his spine at your father's words.
"my daughter she's fucking gone. someone took my fucking daughter."
simon had to stop price from tearing the whole house up, grabbing his shoulders and promising him that they will find you.
simon and price are on base the very next morning. along with alex, gaz, and soap. everyone is deadly silent, standing tall and ready as their captain briefs them on how they're going to get you back. Alex has a tick in his jaw and simon is sure he's going to snap if anything goes wrong
10 minutes before they ship out and simon is having a cigarette, trying to ease his nerves. he hadn't even checked his phone yet and it only just clicked in his brain that you text him last night. those messages were still unopened on his phone. with a weight on his chest, simon unlocks his phone and feels his heart sink when he sees those texts,
'simon? is that you?'
'simon seriously I can hear noises downstairs'
'are you outside my door?'
'simon, please. i'm scared.'
you were calling him for help.
simon has been fighting down bile for the past 45 minutes. the helicopter ride certainly not helping ease the horrendous amount amount of guilt he's feeling. neither is watching alex bounce his leg nervously, or price chain smoke cigar after cigar.
it's a long trek from the drop-point to the abandoned warehouse where they suspect you're being kept. simon trudging through the mud behind everyone else, praying that no one says a word to him.
"if my intel is good, she's in that building there." alex says, pointing down to the building.
"this is a weapons free op, boys. shoot to kill. do what you need to do to get my girl back home safe." price commands out in his gruff voice, but you can hear a slight edge to his tone. a streak of nervousness that simon has never seen in his captain.
It's a clean sweep once they breach the entrance, bodies dropping in quick succession. room after room being swept and an anxious feeling hanging on everyone's shoulders each time they don't find you.
simon makes his way to the basement floor, taking out the hitmen guarding the heavy metal doors at the end of the dark hallway. he pushes the door open slowly, gun raised and ready to take out an immediate threats.
there were no threats in the room, simon quickly realised, just you. poor, terrified you huddled up in the corner with chains attached to your wrists and ankles. shaking violently like a feral cat. the fear in your eyes causes simon to immediately lower his gun and raise his hands in a 'I-mean-no-harm' way.
he takes a couple hesitant steps towards you, careful not to frighten you even more.
"hey..." he whispers, "it's just-"
"she's here!"
simon was cut off by the sound of alex alerting everyone to your safety. he immediately rushes past simon, knealing in front of you. the second you recognise him, you're reaching for him as sobs start to make their way from your throat.
"It's alright, baby. I'm here, I got you. You're safe now." alex coos to you as he scoops you into his arms, leaving simon to stand behind him like a ghost.
the sight of you reaching for alex instead of him makes simon feel as through someone is prying his rib cage open with a crowbar. he felt truly left in the dust. but he can't blame you, no. this was his fault.
he lost.
#mw2#ghost#cod mw2#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#captain john price#john price#toxic!simon#alex keller x reader#alex keller
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Beckham II: 1 New Beginning
Please find instagram aesthetic here.
Post here explains how I've wrote it, I think it's quite simple.
This is the first part of my new series and I hope you enjoy xx (3k words)
“Do you ever think about how crazy it is that you’re an icon in Barcelona and yet your dad played for Real Madrid?”
“I try not to think about that. I think that bothers him more than me.”
“Does he have any Barcelona shirts?”
“Of course he does.”
…..
“David, how does it feel watching your daughter play for Barcelona?”
“It’s the best feeling in the world. I’m guessing you were expecting some kind of rivalry but I’ll always support my daughter.”
…..
Barcelona, February 2023.
One down, nine to go.
It was like clockwork in your brain. Training would finish, everyone else would rush to get back into the training room and get back to their everyday life. Yet here you were, on your own, just how you like it. You and the ball. Free kick after free kick after free kick. Ten in total, all from different areas, all with different aims but each one just as equally important in your brain.
Barcelona was a dream. You were here with the best players in the world but you hated letting anyone down. Every little mistake was over-analysed, picked at all because of who you were. At the weekend it was a wonder save which stopped one nestling in the top corner but that didn’t matter. It hadn’t gone in and therefore didn’t meet your expectations.
The expectations you put on yourself, multiplied by that moment four years ago.
You loved your father but many people probably didn’t understand that there wasn’t a gene for taking good free kicks.
Unbeknownst to you, all of this was about to change. “You’ve got a visitor.”
“If it’s another journalist, tell them I’m not interested.”
You couldn’t be bothered with whatever reply the press officer would tell you. It was the same every day. Someone wanted to speak to you, you said no. They came back the next day.
You’d think they’d get bored after four years of consistent turn aways but that was never the case. You did the press conferences, the interviews after games but a sit-down full-length interview was not something you felt like you could ever handle.
So you carried on, resetting the ball in the correct spot. Back to just you and the ball.
For February it was a sunny afternoon in Barcelona, the sun was still shining for the mid-afternoon with minimal wind. Perfect conditions to practice and as your teammates had pointed out you hadn’t needed any more persuasion to get that training vest on, your tattoos on full show. Along with football they were your biggest passion, your phone was full of tattoo inspiration and little doodles you did when you were bored, they were a big part of you and maybe the image you wanted to create for yourself.
You took inspiration from everything, football, the environment, your father. Growing up many would say you were already a carbon copy of him but the tattoos were the icing on the cake. Your mother may not have been as happy about them but they promised to accept all your passions and that included turning up every few months with a new collection of tattoos to show off.
…..
“Maria, is she copying you?”
“You’ll have to ask her. No of course not, I would say we take great inspiration from each other. We’ve got a few matching ones, I’ve done a few on her and she’s done the same to me. That’s kind of what started our friendship.”
“You both have ‘looks can be deceiving’ on your necks, is that true for her?”
“Depends on what you think of her. Maybe some find her scary but you have to find out if that’s true yourself.”
…..
You could hear someone approaching you, watching as you took the next kick nestling it into the bottom corner underneath the imaginary wall.
“Y/N, have you got five minutes?” The unmistakable voice of Sarina. Many people would love Serena Weigman to turn up at their training session, not you. Not now.
Shit. You almost didn’t want to turn around. Maybe if you stayed facing the other way she would leave. Leave you be in the bubble you’d created for yourself, nothing good could come out of this conversation.
But of course the Dutch woman wasn’t going to leave that easily, edging closer to you. “I only want to talk.”
“I gave you my answer a year ago.”
“Lots can change in a year. Five minutes. If you still want me to leave after, I’ll leave.”
Maybe it was worth hearing what she had to say. Nothing could change your mind anyway, you’d hear whatever she had to say and then she could leave.
You knew what she was here for and it didn’t surprise you what came out of her mouth next. “I want you back, I name my squad next week and I want you ready to play for us at the World Cup.”
“And I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“The fans are not that accepting, the players don’t deserve to be drawn into that drama because of me.”
“There’s always drama in football.” Maybe she had a point but off the back of the Euro’s success the lionesses have had nothing but positivity from the media and public. “We’ve lost Beth, we’ve lost Fran and I think the players would welcome your experience in that position. It’s your decision but I know deep down you want to prove people wrong and I want to give you that opportunity.”
“Some would say I don’t deserve that.”
“It will be different this time.”
“How?”
“It’s been four years, everything’s changed. We protect you guys, you have support systems in place, we have support systems. It’s not individuals anymore, it’s a team.”
“I made that decision to protect myself.” Almost four years ago you’d sent that letter, asking not to be selected for international duty again. They had no choice but to accept it and when Serena came into the role she approached you but you told her a tournament on home soil was not something you could mentally cope with. Not yet. “Why would now be different?”
“I’ve watched every game you’ve played in the last 18 months. I know you may not see a difference in yourself but I do, the interview after you lost to Lyon showed your spirit, your drive. I need players like you, it won’t be easy but I don’t want something that happened four years ago to stop you showing the world how talented you are.”
You were conflicted. Of course you’d love nothing more than to prove all those who bashed you before wrong, to make a difference on the world stage after winning every trophy you could with Barcelona. On the other hand it was just opening a can of worms you’d hidden all those years ago. Although you were only in Spain it felt like a different world, you turned your comments off on social media and they never came back on. Interviews were a no-go and your former friends were now distant acquaintances.
“Can I think about?”
“Of course you can. Like I said, the squad goes out on Tuesday so I need an answer by Monday. Any questions, I’m coming to the match on Sunday, maybe I can speak to you after?”
“Thank you.” With a soft squeeze to your shoulder she was off, except now you couldn’t focus knowing you were about to make a decision which would change everything.
…..
“You seem distracted.”
In hindsight it probably wasn’t the best idea to accept the dinner invite from Maria and Ingrid but you knew your best friends wouldn’t take no for an answer. The three of you along with Frido were sat at their dinner table, tucking into the tapas you’d ordered from your favourite restaurant and it wasn’t lost on any of them how your mind was elsewhere. Casually picking through your food was a total opposite to the way you usually devoured this.
“Y/N?”
You’d been debating on the way whether to speak to someone about it.
Maybe your dad? He’d gone through something similar but he was in Miami and would only just be getting up.
Your mum? She was the most rational option but she would never understand that pride of pulling on your national shirt.
Your therapist seemed the best option but the earliest session she had for non-emergencies was tomorrow.
“Y/N!” In your own little world you’d even forgot to answer their questions. “Are you alright?”
It could help speaking to them, couldn’t it? “I had a visitor after training. Sarina Weigman.”
“Shit man, I thought you said no.” Maria Leon was your best friend from the moment you stepped foot in that training room, you bonded over everything from tattoos to food. You’d been her wingman in getting with Ingrid and had a mutual understanding of each other’s situations with your respective national teams even if the circumstances were very different.
“She wants me back but I don’t know, this feels different from last year.” If Bonnie, your 5-year-old beagle, adopted 3 years ago to signify a new chapter in your life, wasn’t by your feet they would definitely be anxiously tapping the floor right now.
“They probably feel your absence more because they’ve lost other players.” Frido added some context. “Not that you wouldn’t have always walked into that team but now you definitely would. You’d be their main player.”
“I can see you’re considering it.” Ingrid pointed out. “When she came last year I could see you were like, definitely no, now you haven’t turned it down immediately.”
“There’s no right or way wrong to feel,” Maria tried to comfort me. “Only you can decide if you want to go back there.”
“I miss it.”
“Of course you do.” Ingrid agreed. “You wouldn’t watch all their games if you didn’t.”
“It’s just the fact that I’m comfortable here, I have been for so long and now I’m going to throw myself back into four years ago.” Four years ago when you’d been forced to move away from your club at the time in Chelsea and accept the fact that one mistake had changed everything. “Plus the media attention, no-one wants that in the lead up to the world cup.”
“They were your friends, I’m sure they’d understand.” Frido tried to make you see that side of things. “Shit happens in football but what happened to you when completely over the top of that.”
“I isolated them.” Of course you had friends in the squad at the time, in fact best friends. But as soon as you made the move to America you slowly distanced yourself from them as they did to you. You hated letting them down and completely understood that being associated to you meant unnecessary exposure where perhaps they would not want it.
“So you’ll make friends again.”
You’d changed as well, grown into a completely different person in that time. Your appearance and attitude on the pitch were a distinct opposite to the crippling shyness you had yet to shake off. “Maybe.”
“You will,” Maria assured you. “Plus I think Bonnie told me she wanted a sleepover with me.”
“Oh did she?”
“I’m not swaying you either way but if that’s what you want, I’ll support you all the way.”
“We all will.” Frido added wrapping her arms around you to bring you into her side. “We love you.”
“Thank you, I love you all too.”
“Speak to your dad, maybe even your mum. I’m sure they’d want to help.”
One of the funniest moments in your life had to be watching your teammates introduce themselves to your parents when they came out to watch your first match in the Blaugrana. Watching their nerves dissipate when they realised how down to earth, especially your mother was, when it came to their children. Of course their name brought so much extra attention to you but you couldn’t have asked for a better upbringing.
Maybe it was their words that made you do it but subconsciously you knew the best thing to do was to ring them. So as you got into bed that night, once you got back, Bonnie at your feet watching, you rang the number you’d had memorised for years.
“Hi baby.” His voice almost brought tears to your eyes. Although you tried to be as independent as possible, wanting to be your own person, you sometimes wished you could just go back to spending every night in his arms.
“Hi dad.”
“What’s wrong?” You hated how easily he could read you, how those two words were enough for him to know something was wrong.
“It’s nothing.”
“You know you can tell me anything.”
“I know dad.” Out with it. “Sarina Weigman came to visit me today, she wants me to go and join them in the next international break.”
“And what do you want?”
“I think I want to.”
“You think?”
“I just know that if I do I’m just going to be brought back to that moment.”
“Then you’ll go back to a moment where the referees made a terrible decision. Football fans are fickle you know that as much as I do but you’ve watched it back enough to know that nine times out of ten nothing happens. The commentator did you no favours, Phil didn’t stand by you as he should have and the media hung you out to dry.”
“I know.”
“But as awful as it was it made you the person you are today and your stronger now then you’ve ever been before. If you want to go back then you’ll make it work. I know you will.”
“Thanks dad, now how is…”
,,,,,
“How many times have you watched that tackle back?”
“Over a thousand times.”
“Do you think you should have been sent off?”
“Of course not.”
……
You loved Barcelona, from the moment you stepped through those doors 3 years ago you’d been welcomed in and never looked back. In 2019 you moved to America but your year out there was plagued with depression and homesickness resulting in a lack of game time, when Barcelona came calling it was a difficult decision with your family ties but they had a project, they had a good set up and you knew the onus wouldn’t just be on you. The first six months were still tough, working out Spanish football to both play with your teammates and counter the opposition but by the end of the season you felt at home for the first time in 2 years.
Your role this year had been heightened by the loss of one of your midfield partners in Alexia, but you were adaptable and that’s probably how you found yourself 4-0 up, having just scored a second goal in the second half.
“It’s almost like you’re trying to impress someone.” Mapi whispered giving you a half hug as you walked back into your own half.
“Shut up.”
“I bet she’s panicking that you might turn it down now.”
“She’s got other players Maria.”
“But none of them are you.”
The match stayed at 4-0, some of the youngsters coming on to see the game out.
You’d never been in a team like this, of course you had little arguments and there were small groups within the team, but everyone worked so hard for each other. And with that came the protectiveness, when you joined you were only 21, now 24 and the older ones took you under their wings. You’d been daunted a lot at the fact of playing fellow English players in the Champions League but they’d been your shield for those moments.
It blew your mind when the younger age groups joined you and they speak about that moment. Most of them staying up late to watch it making you feel old. But that meant they came to you for advice a lot of the time. Maybe this time though it was time to get advice from them.
“Hey little one.” Maria Perez was the first one you spotted in the changing room. “You played really well today.”
“Thank you.”
“How are you feeling about being called up?” It was only yesterday that the Spanish squad had been leaked and she was once again in it.
“Excited, another opportunity to prove myself.”
“I like that you see it that way.”
“Everyone should, it’s no different to playing here, as long as you be yourself you can never be disappointed.”
…….
@jillsmithjournalist: Serena Weigman is present at the Barcelona match. No current England players are playing however star player Y/N Beckham scored twice. Beckham has not played for England since she withdrew from selection in August 2019 amid public backlash and a rumoured feud with England manager Phil Neville. Could a return be on the cards?
@newlionesses_x: Surely she can’t just pick and choose when to come back.
@wslfan: Fine without her last year
@england123: Liability for England
@barcelonafan: All you hating on Beckham are crazy, one of the best players in the world and you don’t want her back because of something that happened 4 years ago, grow up. Could tell she struggled when she joined us but this past year she’s been exceptional, people change, mistakes happen (even though she should never have been sent off in the first place)
…..
You’ve known your decision for a long time but you still delayed giving it as long as possible before you could wait no longer. You could see she was the only one left in the hospitality area as you entered, the table she had chose overlooking the pitch you’d just performed on.
This was what you wanted and now it felt only right to give yourself that opportunity again.
“I’ll do it.”
#woso imagine#woso#woso x reader#woso imagines#barcelona femeni#lionesses#engwnt#david beckham#beckham#football
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guilty conscience ☆ part four
← part 1 , part 2 , part 3 ⭑ part 5 →
synopsis: it’s your first year at college and you’re 1,500 miles away from home. you’d feel completely alone if it wasn't for your attractive roommate ellie. will this attraction complicate the already uncharted territory? or will she be the answer to all your problems?
|✯| pairing & wc: college!ellie williams x roommate!reader. wc: 3.2k
|✯| cw (by part): 18+ themes (MDNI), fem reader, SMUT (18+ ONLY), modern au!ellie, HEAVY ANGST, frequent swearing, sexual tension, cat lol, fingering (r receiving), oral (r recieving), kinda nipple play, dom!ellie, sub!reader, public-ish sex, ellie is a cheater cheater pumpkin eater (i think thats it but lmk if i missed anything)
a/n: honestly was getting fed up with myself writing this part. like goddamn bitch can we get a happy ending already? so much angst and drama from ellie that you might just wanna beat her tf up. it gets so slutty though and i love it. i hope this is feeds the ache for y'all, lmk cause this is my first attempt at smut!! anyways, thanks 4 the support and much love from me to you <;3
After that special night with Ellie, you realized there was no more ignoring the situation at hand. She left you feeling empty just as quick as she had made you feel full. And you cared so much for her, despite the fact. No matter how much you wanted to stand your ground, your mind always got stuck on the possibilities. The possibility that Ellie was feeling everything you were… The possibility that there was a happy ending in sight… The possibility that Cat meant nothing.
With all these feelings circling your mind, you felt too biased to make the right decision when it came to her. You decided it was time to tell Dina. You quickly picked up your phone and gave her a call, inviting her out to coffee. Thankfully Dina offered to drive, as you were still stranded at Ellie’s bandmates place. 10 minutes later, she was out front honking.
Dina greeted you with a squeal, “Hiii love!! I missed you!”
Before you could reciprocate her greeting she spoke again, “Wait who’s house is this? How was last night? Oh my god Y/n, did you hook up with someone?? Pleaseee tell me!!” Dina’s thoughts were going 100 mph trying to guess the context of this little rendezvous.
“That’s why I asked you to coffee. Trust me, I’m going to explain everything.” Your mysterious answer left Dina even more intrigued. The both of you arrived at the coffee shop, ordered your drinks, and took a seat at a little table in the corner.
“Soooo… TELL ME ALREADY,” Dina exclaimed impatiently as you fidgeted in your seat not even sure where to start. You stared through the shop window at nothing in particular as you mulled over the timeline of Ellie and you. Dina could see the cogs in your brain turning and knew this conversation was going to be about more than a silly little one night stand. You finally spoke 3 words, “it’s about Ellie.”
“Ellie? God I should’ve known, I’m literally your best friend!!”
“It's fine D, I’ve been pretty radio silent about my love life on purpose. See, it’s much more complicated. Like a gut wrenching, sick and twisted, WLW heartbreak kind of complicated. How long can you stay and talk?”
“I’m all yours babe, give me every last detail. I'm serious,” Dina urged. So, you did. The debrief took a total of 3 hours and 2 iced coffees to get through. It felt so good getting everything off your chest.
Dina gave you just the right advice too, “Communication is key.” You knew it was stupid but talking about it upfront was the last thing you had thought to do. It seemed too scary to face Ellie like that, but you knew it was the right choice. Sure it was hard dealing with these feelings and you wanted answers, but you also lived with this girl. You owed it to yourself and to her to figure out this bullshit. You didn’t want to be in a constant state of tension and resentment every time the two of you had to be around each other (which was all the time).
After a morning well spent, you and Dina said your goodbyes and she dropped you back off at your dorm. You walked through the front doors and swiped your student ID to access the elevator. You leaned against the cold, metal walls as you brainstormed how to approach Ellie. You had a good idea of what to say up until you were opening the door and coming face to face with her. She made you forget everything. But, despite your blank mind, you were determined.
“Ellie, we need to talk, seriously.” You tried to assert yourself, but your breaths were shaky from nerves. Ellie looked up from her desk nonchalantly and gave you a blank stare like she had no idea what you were talking about. This really pissed you off.
“Don’t give me that fucking look Ellie, you know exactly what I’m talking about. How could you just leave me like that?”
“Hey relax, it’s not like that.” she stood up and answered calmly, which made you want to slap her even more. Ellie could put on a game face better than she could ever be vulnerable. No matter the damage her lack of honesty caused.
“It’s not like that? Be real with yourself for one fucking second Ellie.”
“Fuck you bro, I don’t need this shit.” she retaliated, not meaning a word she spat out.
“FUCK YOU!” you shouted, moving into her space. Instead of moving back, Ellie stayed right there with you, standing her ground. You felt the heat of her body against yours and an erotic sensation growing between your legs. Your eyes began to glaze over with tears of desperation, she had this unexplained power over you.
“Ellie, I- I can’t keep doing this with you.”
“Can’t keep doing what?” she asked. It’s like Ellie needed you to admit it first before she could even acknowledge it on her own. She longed to hear your passionate confessions and anguished pleas.
“I can’t keep beating around the bush with you. I like you Ellie and it’s driving me fucking crazy because you act like you could care less. You taunt me with your stupid sexy charm and stupid flirty touch just to run right back to Cat. But right here, right now, you can’t deny the tension between us. I need you Ellie.” Tears began to stream down your face and you wiped them away with haste. A beat of loud silence echoed through the room before Ellie finally answered.
“I don’t mean to tease, but there’s just so much at stake when it comes to me and you. Can't you see? I know I’m a piece of shit. I mean, here I am with a perfectly fine girlfriend, yet inches away from my roommate, hardly able to resist her touch.”
“Then don't Ellie. Forget about everyone and please just kiss me.” You were practically begging, it was so pitiful. Ellie placed a hand to your shoulder and shoved you against the wall.
“God Y/n just STOP IT!”
You melted under her agonizing touch, “W-why not me?” You stuttered and took in her hot breaths that hit your face as she panted through her frustration. It wasn’t much longer till the two of you could no longer restrain.
Ellie stared at her dirty converse to avoid your pleading eyes, “I just can’t, I can’t cheat. I'm not a cheater.” She was shaking her head profusely as if to rid her mind of the lustful thoughts that consumed her. She wanted you so bad it hurt. You took her face in your hands and lifted her gaze to yours in a last attempt.
“Ellie-,” you gasped, as the aching became unbearable. You’d surrender to her touch right now if she only asked. As Ellie looked back at you, she wished Cat didn’t exist, you were all she ever wanted and you were right there. She just had to say the words and you’d be hers.
Ellie’s head fell into the crook of your neck in desperation. Her hands moved up and down your clothed body searching for some sort of release.
“Ellie please, I need you.” you whimpered into her ear. The vibrations sent a shiver of pleasure down her spine and just like that she snapped. All her morals disappeared as she found your wrist and grasped it firmly, leading your hand to the waistband of your pants.
She whispered back, “show me.” With her permission your hand darted down to the ache. You slid your fingers through the mess Ellie invoked with just her words before stopping on the big ball of nerves that begged to be touched.
Before you could ease the yearning down below, Ellie interrupts, “I said show me.” A smirk grew upon her face as she watched you discern the meaning of her risky comment. You retrieved your fingers in obedience to Ellie and were prepared to do whatever else she asked.
Immediately, Ellie took your sticky fingers and brought them to her plump lips. Slowly she planted kisses from the tips of your digits down to your knuckles. It felt like a dream. Of course, Ellie knew she should stop, but when her freckled nose caught the sweet smell of your juices she dreamed of tasting them too.
“Put your hands back in your pants.” she demanded with agency. Back inside they went, fingers quick to locate your empty hole. You couldn’t take it, your middle finger gently slid in and a breath escaped your open mouth. You shut your eyes and an in-and-out rhythm ensued. Ellie grew wet herself as she watched you writhe with pleasure. She couldn’t help but tell you.
“I love watching you touch yourself like that.” Her comment evoked a strained moan from your lips as you imagined her fingers inside instead of your own. Ellie cupped her cunt, trying to fight her infidelity but failing miserably.
“Can I see your fingers again please? I- I wanna taste it.”
“Need me that bad?” you teased, like you hadn’t been dreaming of this moment for ages. But Ellie had no time for games and took matters into her own hands. She captured your fingers herself. Her tongue flattened to the length of them before her mouth completely closed in on the treat. She sucked with vigor until your flavor dissipated.
“Tastes so good” she hummed, eyes blown out with pleasure.
“How about you really taste it?” you taunted. The twisted and erotic nature of the interaction left you in a trance.
“You know I can’t Y/n. It- It would be wrong.” Ellie spoke as if sucking your roommates slick right off her fingers wasn’t just as much of a betrayal as any sexual act. At this point morals felt so out of the question but your words from nights before continued to repeat in her head.
“Me? Mess it up for you? Don’t worry Ellie, you can do that all on your own, believe me.”
She was at odds with herself, not knowing whether to dive in head first or run away while she could.
“Please Ellie, I need you inside me.” you begged. She brushed the back of her hand down your face apologetically and planted a kiss on your forehead.
A single tear fell as she said, “I just can’t do this. I have to go,” and turned towards the door. Ellie disappeared out of the room and you sunk to the floor, defeated once more. I guess old habits really do die hard.
After Ellie left, she didn’t show back up to your dorm for the next 3 days. At first you were pissed off and hurt, but the longer she was gone, the more that bitterness turned into worry. She became the only thing on your mind. You had tried calling and texting but to no avail. Out of desperation, you even decided to ask Cat in class. Dina supervised from afar as you confronted her.
“Cat, I know you don’t like me, but can I please just ask you something,” you said with hesitance.
“Great observation! You’re right, I don’t like you. Now, what do you want?” she snapped.
“It’s about Ellie, I haven't seen her in 3 days and I’m really worried. Do you know where she is?” Cat paused to think before she gave you an answer.
“She’s been staying at my place. Is there a problem? I mean, I am her girlfriend,” she scoffed. Truthfully, Cat hadn’t seen Ellie for the past 3 days either but God forbid she let you find that out. She didn’t want you thinking you had any sort of chance with her girlfriend now that she seemed to be getting iced out too.
Of course, her plan worked just how she wanted and you were just about ready to give up on Ellie. You walked back to your dorm dragging your feet hopelessly. When you arrived you were greeted by none other than the girl who’d been fueling your worry.
“Ellie? What the fuck. What are you doing here?”
“I mean, I live here right?” she answered while rummaging through her things. Here she goes again, pissing you off like usual.
“I thought you did too until you went awol for 3 whole days without saying a thing. If you wanna stay with Cat that bad just tell me. I don’t need you sparing my feelings. You’ve already done enough.” Your anger spoke for you and Ellie was baffled.
“Cat? What makes you say that? I’ve been at my parents this whole time.”
You snapped, “Don't lie to me Ellie, I know you were at her place. If you love Cat so much, just be with her and leave me the fuck alone.” Ellie then grabbed her guitar and slinged on a backpack.
“Fine, I will leave you alone. I have a show to be at anyways.” And just like that, gone again.
You replayed the past hour in your head and considered the fact that maybe Ellie was telling the truth. Cat was never known to be a saint, so her lying all of the sudden seemed likely. This time, instead of waiting for Ellie to come back around, you decided to chase after her.
You quickly threw on a revenge outfit and put on some mascara. You stared in the mirror at your black mini skirt and tight crop top. You couldn’t deny it, you looked fucking hot. The peak in confidence pushed you right out the door and to the venue of Ellie’s show.
When you arrived her band was already on stage playing. You realized this was your first time ever hearing them together and decided to really soak it in. Ellie looked so happy doing what she loved despite all the drama happening off stage. She was even better than you thought. You watched as she plucked the strings and bobbed her head along with the beat. You hated how much it turned you on. The tattoo you loved so much was on full display and her arm muscles flexed with each chord. She’d occasionally bite her bottom lip in concentration and it drove you wild. Her set finally finished and you were more than pleased, mentally and physically. Ellie got off stage and you quickly ran after, shouting her name.
“Hey can we talk please? I wanna say sorry.” you explained.
“Fine, come with me to the bathroom, it’s quieter there.” She grabbed your hand and led you. You pushed yourself up to sit on the marble counters that housed the sinks. Ellie looked you up and down, waiting for you to speak. She took note of how good you looked before frantically spewing an apology.
“I’m sorry for accusing you of lying. I was stupid and asked Cat if she had seen you recently. Of course she told me you’d been with her and I blindly believed.”
She seemed to be listening so you continued your ranting, “I really hate to fight Els. I miss having fun with you. I wanna move on from everything and just be happy. Together, me and you.” You looked up to flash her some puppy dog eyes when you noticed her attention being diverted.
No matter how hard Ellie wanted to pay attention to what you had to say, she couldn’t help but stare up your skirt. Your positioning on the counter gave her the perfect sneak peek of the space between your legs. Once you had caught on to her pervy behavior Ellie fumbled to save face.
“Shit sorry um, I was just, uh, you have cute panties.” She then flashed you a sideways smile trying to make up for that dumpster fire of a “save”.
“You don’t have to apologize, Els.” A cocky look spread across your face and Ellie recognized what game you were playing.
“Well then I’d just like to say, the wet spot on them is even cuter.” Your face turned hot as you registered the fact that the same girl who made you soak through your panties was about to be the one to take them off.
Ellie slotted herself between your knees as you sat on the counter. Shock turned to hunger in a matter of seconds as you practically consumed each other. Her mouth engulfed yours as if there was no need for air. You desperately clung to her body, using your legs to pull in closer. Ellie grabbed at your chest as she slipped her wet tongue into your desperate kiss. You gasped into her mouth when she found your nipples through the thin fabric of your top. She twisted them with power before removing your shirt completely. Ellie separated from your mouth for just a split second to admire the beauty before her.
“You’re fucking gorgeous,” she gushed and then used both hands to push your legs apart. Your cunt was on full display through the soaked fabric, your skirt bunched up around your hips. Ellie used her calloused fingers to trace the delicate folds peeking from the cloth and you jolted as she brushed past your sensitive spot. She hooked into your panties to scootch the fabric to the side before you suddenly interrupted.
“Ellieeee, we’re in a public bathroom.” She pouted at you with desperation. Ellie needed you now. Out of pure impulse, she grabbed you by the hips, hands cupping your ass, and stumbled with you into the big stall.
“Take them off” she demanded. You seductively slipped the pink, lace thong you were wearing down to your ankles. The cold air alone on your exposed folds was enough to send a sensation through your body. Ellie retrieved your littered painties and shoved them into her pocket for “safe keeping”. She remained on her knees in the tight bathroom stall and began planting kisses on your inner thighs. These kisses turned into small bites as the shared arousal became overwhelming to your senses.
Ellie eventually found her way to right where you wanted her. Her fingers spread you apart taking mental note of each delicate fold. You gasped in pleasure, as if to urge her to continue. The wet sensation of her tongue finally met your aching clit and a sultry moan escaped your lips. Your opening clenched at the contact as she coached you through the bliss that was her mouth.
“I know it feels good but you gotta be quiet for me baby. Just breathe.” You had barely gotten the hang of keeping calm before her fingers dove in to give you twice as much satisfaction.
You gripped Ellie’s forearm for support as she twisted in and out of your throbbing cunt. She was determined to make you feel good. She needed to make up for her bad behavior.
With that thought in mind, she dove back in with her mouth followed by the curling of her fingers inside you. You couldn’t help but screech and Ellie quickly shot a hand up to cover your mouth. So goddamn noisy. As she continued, you inched closer and closer to the precipice of an orgasm.
The bathroom brimmed with the wet sounds of Ellie’s tongue lapping you up, her fingers assaulting your hole, and the moans she did her best to muffle. But, suddenly, those weren’t the only sounds that filled the room.
“Ellie? Baby, is that you?”
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NSFW Headcanon Request: Steven Grant (Moon Knight)
Steven Grant (Moon Knight) + Ice cream/lollipop teasing (prompt list here)
It would be frankly embarrassing how easily, and quickly, you could wind Steven up with the slightest bit of effort. A fact that made Steven mortified, and excited you greatly.
You'd been hoping to have Steven to yourself for the weekend, only for your plans to get rudely interrupted by Donna calling him in to cover for someone at the museum before you'd really had the chance to get your hands on him at all. Naturally Steven apologised profusely despite it not being his fault, and suggested you come visit him at the end of the day, promising you a private tour of the museum in exchange for your patience. You happily agreed to the plan, but only because you'd heard Steven mention a few behind-the-scenes places in the museum you couldn't resist the opportunity to drag him to.
The day seemed to drag for Steven at his little counter; making inventory lists, punching endless numbers into his till, and doing a double-take every time someone walked in, just in case it was you, trying to hide the disappointment on his face when he realised he still had to wait a little longer until he saw you again. It had only been a few months since he first mustered up all his nerve to ask you out for coffee, and now he almost didn't feel himself when he wasn't around you. Like somehow your beauty and exuberance and kindness reflected onto him until he was sure he was the best, and happiest, version of himself there had ever been. He found himself picturing your pretty smile first thing in the morning, still completely in disbelief that he was the person that got to wake up beside you and see it.
"Earth to Steven." You said again, starting to worry as you waved a hand in front of his face, watching his eyes slowly focus on reality again as he jumped in surprise.
"Sorry love! I was completely out of it then, I must have looked like a right plonker. If it helps, I was thinking about you." He offered bashfully, watching the mischievous smile forming on your face as you scanned the offerings around his station,
"Oh really, what was I wearing?" You fought back a laugh at the crimson colour that immediately flooded into his cheeks at the question, a thread of stutters and stumbled words all you got in response. "What are these Steven?" You cut off his attempt to elaborate by picking up a round red lollipop held in a spiraling display at the far end of the ledge.
"They're just lollipops that are supposed to make your tongue change colour, I don't know what they have to do with history or science, but people seem to love 'em." If you didn't have your back to him he would've seen the glimmer of an idea in your eyes before you spun and asked with an innocent grin, "Can I buy one please? For our tour."
"Of course, my treat love." He smiled softly as he watched you unwrap the plastic coating, face falling to accomodate a deep gulp as he watched you flick your tongue over the glistening red orb, before slowly sliding it between your lips. He could feel his pulse quicken as you let out a soft hum at its taste, eyes trailing over to his as you commented, tone needlessly sultry,
"Mm, strawberry." He ignored the ache building beside his hand as he quickly fumbled in his pocket to pull out a few coins, glad that it was his final transaction of the day as his blood seemed to be leaving his brain in favour of more fun areas. Taking your outstretched hand and leading you towards his favourite exhibits, he took a deep breath trying to steady himself from your effects on him. But you wouldn't let that happen.
As you moved between glass cases, it wasn't hard to tell your little ploy was having the intended effect. Steven would find himself tripping over his words, and his feet, trying to keep his mind on anything but the sugary draw of your lips. While you looked intently at each artifact he explained, he could only bring himself to stare at your mouth, watching your tongue circle the lollipop, lapping up the sticky droplets forming before running over the tip, making Steven shift awkwardly from one foot to the other, desperately trying to push the images of how good he knew it felt to have you sucking him that way.
You were surprised with how long he tried to keep his composure, clearly embarrassed by his obvious physical reaction, squirming to stand with his legs obscuring his crotch from your view, tugging at his collar as pink seemed to flush his skin as it stained your lips. It wasn't until you asked him if your tongue was "all pink now" before sticking it out at him with a devilish glint in your eyes that a little voice in his head made him realise he never stood a chance.
"Do you want to see where, uh, we put the new, what's the word... museum stuff?" He spluttered out, already gripping your hand a little more firmly as he picked up the pace towards the stockroom he knew wouldn't get checked this time of night.
"Lead the way handsome." You said happily, keeping your tone just innocent enough that you wouldn't completely give yourself away. Steven practically ripped open the door as he barged inside, panting from the short walk and the long-building frustration throbbing inside him. "Are you okay Steven?" You asked, saccharine sweet as you took the lollipop between your lips, exaggerating the sucking action with your cheeks.
"Um, yes. But also no." He mumbled, volume rising as he stepped towards you, framing your body against the door as he checked the lock. He planted one hand beside your head as the other slowly wrapped around the paper stick emerging from your lips, fingers gently pulling until the sweet escaped your lips with an audible pop. He moved deliberately slowly, your own heart racing at the hungry look in his eyes, slightly disheveled by an afternoon of your relentless teasing. Tentatively he pressed his lips to yours, eagerness rushing through him as the taste of strawberries flooded his mouth, his tongue plunging forward to follow its sweetness. You fought back a smile at his obvious keenness, frantically capturing your lips and exploring your mouth until he needed to pull away for breath, chest heaving with the overwhelming excitement. The hunger in his eyes hadn't dissipated at all, desperate desire burning inside him, hindering his ability to ask for what he so clearly wanted. You decided you'd been cruel enough, bringing your hands to his thighs as you slowly lowered to your knees.
"Is there something other than a lollipop you want me to put in my mouth Steven?" It took every ounce of his self-control not to lose it right there, your wide eyes staring up at him as your fingers toyed with buttons of his slacks, his silent but awestruck nod giving you the permission you needed. You could feel him straining against the fabric as you slid down his zip, peeling his trousers and boxers down his thighs until his aching manhood sprang free, already leaking its own sweet, sticky mess at his uncontrollable thoughts of you. Steven looked apologetic at his state despite your satisfied smile as you wrapped your hand around him, mumbling as you started to gentle rub away the throbbing tension,
"I'm sorry love, you're just so beautiful and with that lollipop, I couldn't stop thinking about, uh, things and - Oh!" His apology halted as brought your rosy red tongue to his glistening tip, lapping at it just like in his thoughts, humming happily as his eyes fluttered shut,
"Don't apologise Steven, you're way better than Strawberry." As if to prove your point you took him deeply between your lips, moaning as his hips bucked at the contact, slamming himself down your throat. The empty storage space was filled with whimpers and panting as he rubbed against the inside of your cheeks, feeling the soft warmth he'd been picturing all afternoon, eyes fixed to your bobbing head, watching you like the miraculous entity that you are, trying to capture the moment in all its glory in his mind, in case he never felt something so perfect again. The way your eyes looked up at him adoringly, the wet glide of your tongue as you pulled away, only to hum in satisfaction as you brought him back down your throat again, it was too much. Better than his imagination by a long stretch. His daydreams could never do your soft, warm touch justice. He could feel the pressure building inside him as he relished every sensation your movements created.
"Love, I'm gonna - um, you should -" He tried to warn you, not sure of the proper wording and fumbling over himself as you seemed to apply more pressure, picking up the pace as he crossed his threshold, a deep groan ripping free of his throat as his hips began to stutter, his release filling your cheeks as you drew every last drop of pleasure from him.
Steven watched in wide-eyed affection as you swallowed his seed like he was just another sweet treat, before sticking out your pink tongue while gently helping him back into his trousers. You pointed at the now much smaller sweet, still clutched in the hand that wasn't propped against the door, possibly the only thing keeping him from collapsing entirely.
"Can I have that back now?" The cheeky glint in your beaming smile filled Steven with a mixture of excitement and anticipation as he shook his head, putting the lollipop in his own mouth instead, looking a little panicked as he spoke,
"Absolutely not. You're banned from buying lollipops at my gift shop." He smiled at the incredulous laugh that burst from your lips as he helped you off your knees, sure you were going to be the death of him, but unable to think of a better way to go.
#writing#fanfiction#one shot#requests#steven grant imagine#steven grant fluff#steven grant smut#steven grant x reader#steven grant imagines#steven grant#moon knight imagine#moon knight headcanon#moon knight smut#moon knight x reader#moon knight imagines#steven grant requests#moon knight requests
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So I wanna talk about tazercraft cause their characters are so incredibly interesting to me in the best way possible. To preface this I don't speak a word of Portuguese (I'm learning tho! And have been picking up on sentences a lot more) and my native language isn't English so I may get some things wrong and if I do feel free to correct me!
More under the cut:
I'll put this in 3 separate parts, them individually and then their dynamic!
Mike:
Mike is interesting to me, he's definitely the outward instigator of the 2 when it comes to causing trouble and as many have already pointed out the brains behind a lot of it! He's managed to master the create mod in ways I genuinely never expected them to be used and it's a cute way to say that mine (his wife) was also a cause of that as the goddess of creation. To move to his personality more he's definitely the lead talker in the duo, he's a lot more confident in his voice and speaking in comparison to Pac and can often seem like the lead of the duo, tho this is the cause for people missing his weaknesses! Mike is not a fighter, far from that actually, he freezes in danger and fumbles. His hand tremble when he holds a sword and sees mobs closing in and when big threats appear his whole body turns into ice. He gets overstimulated by danger he couldn't prepare for or was the cause of. Just to name 2 examples here, the first is in the dungeon on the day the timer ran out you could hear him panic, he was a lot more shaky and especially his sword being the cause of injuries to his friends is what made that worse, it went so far that he even typed in chat that he was overwhelmed (fun fact to note is that through all of that he basically vanished from pacs pov but I'll get to that). Another example is when the code showed up to him and pac to drop Richas cow head to them, he later on explicitly state having frozen in fear to i think Fit if i remember correctly and even when ttt was typed in the chat and pac had jumped down to follow Richas to make sure he could teleport Mike was again, nowhere to be seen.
His fear of a fight that revolves around his family and death especially is so interesting to me cause it's obvious that a lot of that comes from Richas first death and how he still blames himself for it, the fear of failing his loved ones again being set deep into his bones whenever a danger for their lives comes up. This is why the prison stream actually was even more interesting to me than I initially expected, because his personality in that sense took a complete 180! Now it's been shown time and time again that Mike has an intense distaste of the federation and hasn't been fond of them for a long time, he's incredibly hostile to them and not scared at all when threatened by them to the point where it's a game for him and he's retaliated with threats that could lead to a ban for him multiple times. Before I move on I think the reason as to why this is is because the federation never showed to kill or take lives, I think that's why Mike has a lot more confidence in confronting them rather than things that have shown to be fatal with all intention of killing. Back to the prison though, Mike's personality to threats definitely took a turn in there, from the moment we saw him he looked pissed beyond believe and his tone was always threatening and almost mocking, his mind quickly was set on getting him and pac out as soon as possible and the realization that Walter Bob, someone who both have seen be the first federation worker that showed them kindness and an interest in what they do after willingly showing up for a haircut is what devastated him. Mike sees Walter as a close friend due to that and it showed because as soon as the realization of Walters long term treatment hit him he did everything to protect the worker he maybe met a handful of times, you could see him get more and more agitated the more the guards hit him and ironically enough I think if Walter hadn't been there idk if he would've killed the guard, but he was so set on finally setting Walter free as well as make sure Pac doesn't have to relive the past they shared that he was willing to do everything to get those 3 out and that all is perfectly encapsulated by his behavior once Walter got taken again, Mike wasn't sad or distraught like Pac was, no, he was fucking fuming to the point where he didn't respond to Pac. Ya know, the person he talks to 24/7 and that's attached to his hip to the point where most of their words are shared telepathically above all. It was obvious that he was angry beyond believe and I'm sure he's got a lot more plans up his sleeve now to get revenge. Cause if there's one thing about Mike it's definitely that you do not want him as your enemy. He may be an outwardly social guy who is definitely more focused on making people laugh and showing off the things he and Pac created but he's still a fugitive and would destroy the world for those he holds dear as they help him feel stronger in the moments where fear does get the better of him.
Pac:
Pac is honestly incredibly fascinating just due to how many levels his character has. He's outwardly the person that appears more shy in comparison to Mike and stumbles as well as gets flustered quick. This has also been the main cause of people seeing him as a weaker player (which also got added onto by how during the earlier days he'd be the one to die a lot) which in turn has caused an interesting dynamic between him and a bunch of the others players because he's far from that. Pac is full on the brawns when it comes to situations that mean fighting for someone's life, his brain goes into focus mode once a life is on the line and there's many examples to show that! Which is why I find it so funny that he often gets handed things due to seeming and behaving weaker than he actually is (main example here being etoiles who not only gave him a custom diamond sword early on which Pac has kept to this day but also the Scythe which he nowadays uses as his only weapon).
Now to the examples of how he can very much carry his own weight In fights and how fascinating it is to watch him, the first big show of him effortlessly carrying himself and doing his best to support others was during the timer dungeon, he was at the front with Bad,Etoiles and Cellbit and even when a lot less geared than those 3 with a weapon that did a lot less damage he didn't go down once even tho he wasn't even holding a totem at any point. It's genuinely impressive with how well he carried himself through that and used movement to attack big groups of mobs from behind only to have vanished out of their sight again before they could corner him. The only time he got truly cornered was at a point where even Etoiles had to back up a little and ended up next to him and the way Pac casually mentioned being fine only to instantly jump at the opportunity of humor through small talk sticks in my brain to this day due to him having stayed mainly silent the whole time before that. The 2 other examples are about Richas and how quick Pac is to defend his son, like I mentioned before when the Code showed up to him, Mike and Richas, Pac instantly jumped into aggressive, he wanted to hit it but fell due to underestimating the jump and as soon as he laid eyes in Richas he became Pacs priority sticking to his sons side until he was Tp'd away and only then returning to the Platform. The same thing happened during the dinner! Every parent except for him crashed when the codes revealed themselves and as much as Richas was quick to start running the speed at which Pac laid eyes on the egg and started to follow right next to him was genuinely mind blowing, he stood at that elevator once Richas left ready to die if it came to it just to make sure one of those things didn't follow him, and as soon as Mike relogged he became Pacs priority with the latter hovering around him will he was loading in.
Now to compare this to the behavior in prison is interesting. Pacs still as good as ever when it comes to putting on a persona to get what he wants but I do believe that the prison brought up a lot of trauma for him, from what I know his time in prison was a lot worse than Mike's and you could hear that through his voice throughout the whole stream. Pacs a physical fighter not a mental one. But in the end he still has that survival instinct, he still knows he needs to get out to protect his family and he doesn't want to be separated from his other half and best friend anymore so he plays sly. The way he stole the keys from the guard genuinely is the most slick maneuver ever and his ability to portrait his behavior in an exaggerated way that makes him seem like no threat at all has worked in his favor multiple times during this too. He was definitely suffering through that whole experience but his determination to protect the ones he loved still slipped through, his hesitancy when he called to the guards not to hit his friends only to have his voice go small once he was physically threatened. He's not at all comfortable when he doesn't have anything to fight back with. Pacs underestimated A LOT, he let's himself be pushed around for bits with a smile and definitely enjoys appearing a bit dumber and less skilled than he is just due to the perks of it and not really caring for bragging about fighting skills when he'd rather show off the project he and Mike have spent time on, only those with a keen eye can see how he's got the heart of a fighter (Etoiles being the first to vocally call this out) he's not weak by any means and definitely a lot smarter than he'd ever admit. He'd die to protect his family and the ones he cares about and would never back down if push came to shove for them.
To sum this all up and not make this too long (which it already is pfff) for both of them together their dynamic is very clearly the "do not separate" but funnily enough Mike is the one who definitely leans onto that more. During each fight where he panicked, got overwhelmed and/or froze he was missing from Pacs pov, they were split apart and it was Mike who was terrified of not being able to hold his own, the same happened in the prison just differently. In the prison Mike definitely put on a cold facade but it broke everytime he asked if they could share the same cell, the underlying fear of him having to fight alone lacing his words through moments like that. This doesn't mean that Pac isn't the same tho! He's just less outwardly vocal about it in comparison and shows it more through actions and looks. It was obvious to hear his distress when he called Mike's name in prison but his constant turning around to see where the other is and his hesitancy to go into areas that implied separation are what showed how hes just as scared as Mike is about loosing the other.
To go more into headcanon and theories I'd like to think of the 2 as 2 hearts and a shared soul, their telepathic communication is borderline Canon at this point and it's obvious that the thought or implications of being separated doesn't sit well at all with either of them. Their bodies and life's are separate but they're still connected by a soul. And whether that's shown through jokes like not being able to be in one spot without the other or through genuine things like Mike having to remind Pac that only he can hear him unless he uses his voice or their ability to flawlessly work around the other is up to interpretation of each viewer in my opinion but there's something to be said about the fact that without the other they'd never had the determination or confidence to get out of that prison, that without the other their weaknesses would show a lot more and end up causing a lot bigger of a struggle than they currently are. Without the other they wouldn't feel whole.
#qsmp#qsmp tazercraft#qsmp pac#qsmp mike#character analysis#i think#im trying these 2 are so#genuinely interesting to me#in the best way possible#cause at their core they're still silly guy's#long read#text post#void mumbling
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maybe reader on her period and crying about everything
Emotional Mess
Masterlist
Prompt: Fem! Reader is v emotional during her cycle and Joseph tries to cheer her up
Requested by: Anonymous :)
Pairings: Joseph Quinn x Fem! reader
A/n: shall I make more Joe Quinn fics? Let me know!
Being someone that has a period cycle can be suffering sometimes.
All the emotions that run through your brain like a freight train being hauled at a speed of a hundred miles per hour is exhausting
You’ve been watching your lovely boyfriend, Joseph Quinn, and his interviews from the very emotional release of Stranger Things 4 Vol. 2
He did warn you to not watch it while you were on your hell week but he didn’t warn you about what sent you into waterworks once and for all
Seeing him as his character Eddie Munson, die on screen made you into a crying mess and sobbing all over the couch as you had been sitting there lounging all day.
You couldn't wait until he got home to comfort you and hold you close as he calmed you down and kissed all of your tears away.
Grabbing your phone, You dialed his number hoping and praying he wasn't in an interview at this very moment.
Thankfully it didn't go to voicemail and he had picked up on the second ring
"Love? are you okay?"
You shook your head even though he couldn't see you on the other end of the line
"J- Joe you didn't tell me they killed Eddie off! You left me home alone a sobbing mess with my Cramps killing me!"
He felt bad, truly he did but he was busy with work and had one more interview before He could leave.
"I'm sorry lovey, I have one more than I'll be home to cuddle you yeah? Want me to bring you home some ice cream?"
Tears had welled up in your eyes at his statement and nodded, "yes please but hurry home I miss you"
He frowned at your remark and wished his manager would let him leave and skip this final interview so he could be home with you
You both had stayed on the phone for a little while longer until he had to get back to his final interview of the day and hung up leaving you in another crying mess
~~~
The clock had struck 6:30 pm and You heard the Jingle of the keys and the door open as Joe had finally came home from what felt like forever of interviews
You were cuddled up on the couch in the fetal position with a blanket wrapped around you and a shitty show on the Tv that you had been watching just for noise
He took his shoes off and hung his coat up and walked over to where you were on the couch finally being able to be in your embrace
"Hi my little lovebug, How are you feeling hm?"
You sat up as best as you could slowly and looked at him, "Feeling better now that You're here"
Smiling at your cute remark, he pulled you into his side and kissed your head as your pain felt like it instantly had been relieved from his touch and being in his arms
"I brought you home some ice cream"
You nodded and snuggled up into his side, hiding your face in his chest
"Thank you I'll eat it later"
He nodded and kissed your head once again as he let you relax into his arms hoping to make you feel better
the affection had made you start sobbing again and of course he noticed as He looked down at you with worry
"Baby what's wrong?"
you wiped your tears and spoke softly, "I just love you so much"
He smiled and wiped your tears
"I love you more even when you're an emotional mess"
A/N: Ahhhh I love lovey dovey Joseph it warms my heart fr <3
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ANOTHER TROUBLED NIGHT
One-shot | Masterlist
Pairing: Aizawa × GN!reader | Words: 1,5K
Fandom: BNHA | MHA | Categories: SFW, comfort
CW: Night terror, anxiety/panic attack description, psychosis description, insinuation of self-harm. Please do not read if you think you could be triggered by any of these.
A/N: I've had this written in my notes app for a while. Thought I'd share how I'd like to receive comfort after a rough night.
You woke up with a loud gasp for air, your eyes widening as you felt something wet run down your cheeks. Your breathing was rapid; you were covered in a cold sweat and trembling like crazy.
You sat up straight, attempting to take deep breaths as you wiped away all the tears off your face, desperately trying to calm yourself down at the realization that you were only dreaming.
But you could not slow down your heart rate, and you started to feel yourself hyperventilating – you could hardly breathe, your vision blurring due to your need for crying; It did not help that it felt like someone had stabbed an ice pick right through your chest, making it hard to swallow your spit.
You were becoming terrified by now, your mind going blank as you tried to steady yourself. Your head was pounding so hard that everything seemed out of place.
You also felt tremendously nauseous from the stress your brain kept producing throughout your dream, and you thought you could hear people shouting behind closed doors, though you knew it was not real. Nonetheless, the sound rumbled in your eardrums, making your headache worse.
'Am I having a panic attack right now? What's going on?!' You tried to reason. However, the thoughts running rampant through your mind caused you to get lost, unable to think about anything else.
All you could focus on was the pounding of your head and how weak you felt, how you were shaking uncontrollably, and how your heart seemed to speed up exponentially every second you breathed.
You could feel the sweat pouring down your forehead and neck, although you were unsure whether or not it was because you were hot or freaking out. At this point, it was hard to tell where your dream had ended and where the reality began.
Everything was too chaotic, too vivid, and too overwhelming. Everything around you felt so real, yet nothing made sense. You could even feel paws crawling under your skin, which drove you insane. If you could move throughout your daze, you would try to rip your skin off you now.
From far away, you heard another strangled sound, and your head immediately whipped toward where it came from; that was no good, and you felt yourself starting to drown in the panic. The only sound you could hear properly was the high-pitched ringing in your ears.
It only increased your already high heartbeat, making it almost impossible for you to think straight. And when you heard that weird sound again, you tried your hardest to snap yourself out of your panicked state; you had to ground yourself at least a little.
Then, you spotted a blurry figure next to you. However, you could not make sense of whatever was happening – everything felt fuzzy, especially with the loud noise in your ears.
And when your eyes focused on the figure, you forced yourself to try to make out the form. You thought it looked like a guy, and he looked just as terrified as you did;
It took a long moment before you finally recognized the person sitting next to you. It was the same man that lay limp next to you before, but now he was awake. And he was watching you with wide – horrified, red eyes. He was frozen, not moving a single muscle while his gaze bore into yours.
And after what felt like an eternity, you noticed that his mouth was moving slightly, but it seemed as if nothing would come out of it. At least, not until you heard him speak. His voice was faint at first, barely audible. Yet, you managed to make out a word eventually.
"...green?" He mouthed, and your confusion only multiplied after hearing that. You were so confused; it was difficult to focus on anything anymore.
"Can you tell me something yellow, then?" He tried again. His words sounded slurred, but you still managed to comprehend them.
All you could answer was a confused "huh?!" Before you blinked, causing the blurriness to disappear slowly, allowing you to see your surroundings again. It was a very familiar area, and your heart beat harder at realizing it was home. Still, you could not remember what happened before you had woken up.
"...baby?" Aizawa called again, his voice low for fear of startling you even more. Your gaze lingered for a moment on nothing specific around the room before returning to his face. And for even longer, all you could do was stare, dumbfounded. You were not even sure what the hell you should say. It was almost like you had forgotten how to speak.
Another couple of minutes passed with Shōta staring back at you, patiently waiting for an answer. He was getting worried; you could tell. But he was afraid of saying or doing anything wrong, so he stayed quiet, waiting for you to be ready.
And you finally opened your mouth, although it was shaky and unsure. You were still somewhat lost in your daze, your mind slowly processing what was happening and what Aizawa asked you to explain. So, all you could come up with in your head was a simple sentence.
"Your sleeping bag." You murmured, and Aizawa seemed to let out a sigh of relief, smiling softly at you.
That calmed you enough to give you some semblance of clarity, although you still looked quite distressed. And as Shōta watched your expression change to a normal-like one after a few seconds, however, another wave of concern washed over him.
His smile faded a bit. He had you speaking, and that was a huge win. But he had to make sure you would stay grounded.
Then, he opened his mouth to ask something else, but before he could say it, you realized that your previous statement did not quite capture what he was trying to ask you, so you repeated yourself to try and convey better.
"Your sleeping bag," you said again, "is yellow."
This time, you had Aizawa nodding, his face breaking into a relieved smile. "Good job," he spoke quietly, and you stared at him for a few seconds before turning your gaze downwards.
"Can you count your breathing, babe?" He continued, "can you listen to mine? Just follow it." He instructed. You nodded, taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself down.
You listened carefully and tried to breathe slowly, repeating the motions until you got the hang of it. And when you finished a few rounds, your heartbeat was almost normal, and you turned your head back up, looking at the man next to you.
He gave you another encouraging nod, and now it was your turn to smile.
"Is there anyone else here with us?" The ravenette asked you once you finished regulating your breathing. He needed to know if you were still delusional. And for his relief, you shook your head, as you did not have any energy for talking now.
Aizawa relaxed visibly, glad you were at least aware enough to communicate with him. He wanted to comfort and reassure you, but he also needed to reassure himself that you were okay with that;
"Are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you need to use the bathroom?" He inquired, his tone was soft and kind but with worry lacing each syllable.
You shook your head again, though you did feel thirsty. And you needed to use the toilet. But you figured there was nothing much you could do – even if your legs worked perfectly fine, they would not be able to carry you anywhere by now.
Not that you minded too much, though. If anything, you could sit in one place for hours without needing anything in your current state.
But you could tell that Aizawa was growing anxious again. So, you reached forward and grabbed one of his hands without thinking twice about it, giving him a gentle squeeze, to which he squeezed back reassuringly.
"How about we lie down for a while?" He offered after a moment of silence. "Then, once you have rested, we can talk about it if you feel like it."
You nodded again. That was a relief; you didn't want to talk anymore today. And honestly, you barely could lift your eyelids, and you just wished this episode to be over with;
So, as soon as you lay down, you curled into a ball against Aizawa’s side, resting your head against his shoulder. He then wrapped his arm loosely around your shoulders and pulled you closer to his chest.
You felt his chin resting atop your head, and his scent instantly engulfed you. "Just take as much time as you need, love." He whispered against your ear. "We'll deal with whatever happens tomorrow." He promised, and you sighed, feeling safe and warm for the first time since... well, ever since you woke up this night.
The only thought going through your mind as you drifted off to sleep was that you needed this. After everything that has been happening to you these past few weeks, it was nice to have someone to lean on. Someone willing to carry the burden with you.
#aizawa shota x reader#aizawa x y/n#aizawa x you#bnha aizawa#my hero academia aizawa#aizawa x reader#mha aizawa#bnha fanfiction#bnha headcannons#aizawa shōta#mr aizawa#aizawa shouta#aizawa comfort#aizawa fluff#bnha x reader#mha x reader#mha fanfiction#boku no hero fanfic#bnha#my hero acedamia#comfort#fanfiction
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dirty laundry, pt. 1
a/n: i wrote this when i was feeling incredibly low. it's based on something that happened to me. the title is from all time low. might have a part 2.
before you read this, be aware that this particular piece deals with the after effects of trauma (rape). it doesn't deal with it right after the incident but it shows how even after over a decade it can still affect someone.
before we proceed further: this is your warning that description of sexual assault on a minor will happen. this is based on truth as well as being a work of fan fiction.
i fought so hard with myself to even post this but was encouraged by @remedyx. if you don't want to read it, please by all means don't. but if you do, please be kind.
if something similar has happened to you, please reach out to me if you feel like you need to talk. i love you, you are worthy.
pairing: noah sebastian x reader
genre: angst, hurt/comfort
warnings: talk of past sexual assault, trauma talk, depictions of depressive episode
word count: 2,585
summary: after seeing something triggering online, y/n is struggling. noah learns some deep secrets of his friend and tries to help.
part two part three part four
she’s got her secrets/yeah, i’ve got mine too
meeting friends when you’re adults means you have to understand that you will not know everything about them as easily as if you were kids. it was something that rang true for everyone.
noah understood this and was ready and willing for his friends to have secrets from him. pasts that didn’t want or need to be explained. all that mattered to him was that they were there here and now.
that is until one day when his friend messaged a group chat that consisted of him, andy biersack, and his other friend, scarlett. scarlett messaged them saying that their other friend, one they had planned a birthday party for in this very group chat, was having a very hard time.
that wasn’t new, she had been having a rough go of it off and on for a couple of months. something to do with her meds and the pharmacy being out-of-stock, something that confused the hell out of noah. but something about this time felt different.
noah abruptly stood up, startling his friends that he was with. in his worry and being glued to his phone for the last however many minutes, he had almost forgotten where he was.
“you good, man?” nick asked.
“yeah, i just gotta go do something for a friend.”
“is it y/n?” jolly teased.
“as a matter of fact, yes,” noah said while gathering his things. he waved to his friends, promising to meet up with them again soon, and took off out of the house.
he barely buckled his seatbelt before taking off in his car toward scarlett and y/n’s house. in his relatively short drive, his brain was swirling with possibilities of what was wrong. why had scarlett threatened men specifically? (this time anyway) could he still pick a lock? (probably) what if y/n didn’t want to see them? (she usually did but what if this time was different?) what could he do specifically to make her feel better? (maybe ice cream - she likes ice cream) could he get her to open up and spill this obviously heartbreaking secret to him? (he sure hopes so, but is he prepared for the aftermath?)
he barely registered that he had pulled into the driveway beside andy’s car because it was such an autopilot response to go to their house at this point. he locked his car and walked up to the front door. he didn’t even bother knocking as he entered and was met by the smell of pizza baking in the oven.
“great! everyone’s here!” scarlett said loud enough to be heard throughout the house - obviously trying to get y/n’s attention.
“is she still in there?” noah asked, slipping his shoes off at the door.
“only came out to get water right before we got here,” juliet said, casting a glance down the hall.
“door may be unlocked now though,” scarlett said thoughtfully. “maybe i’ll go peek my head in.”
“i’ll do it,” noah offered, quickly. too quickly if the smirks on his friends’ faces was any indication. he shook his head as he walked down the hall toward y/n’s room.
he knocked softly and listened closely. “i’m fine,” a quiet voice sounded through the wood, followed by a sniffle.
“you don’t sound fine, doll,” he said as he leaned his forehead against the door. “can i come in? please?”
“it’s unlocked.”
when he entered her room, his heart shattered. the ever-present blue twinkle lights she had strung around her room had been shut off, along with any mention of light from anywhere else, except her phone screen. she had her comforter pulled up to her ear with her back facing him.
he shut the door softly behind him and padded across to the bed. he climbed under the covers and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight to him. he felt her stiffen at the contact but not pull away, instead leaning into him once she calmed.
he knew this had to be crossing some sort of imaginary line he’d set for himself but he couldn’t help himself. his friend, honestly probably his best friend, was hurting and that trumped any romantic feelings he has for her.
“when did you get here?” she asked, sniffling again.
“just now. needed to know you were at least physically okay. what happened? i thought you got your meds worked out?” he asked, softly.
“i did. it’s not that. i wish it were that because then i don’t feel like i’ve failed.”
“babe, whatever it is, you haven’t failed anything.”
“yes, i have. i thought i’d worked through it and then i see one thing online and suddenly my brain throws away over a decade of work,” her hand moves to wipe newly fallen tears.
“do you want to talk about it?” he asks, realizing it may be a feeble attempt.
“no. but i should,” she sighs before turning around to face him. “i just don’t want you to think differently of me.”
he keeps his arms firmly around her and chances a kiss to the top of her head. “y/n, i think the world of you and nothing is gonna change that.”
“promise?” he could feel his t-shirt dampen with tears.
he pulled away just enough so he could look her in her eyes. eyes that held a pain he never knew was there. he feels a sense of rage bubble up in him at whoever caused this precious human this amount of pain. “promise.”
she took a steadying breath and began to sit up. they sat side-by-side, backs against the headboard, his legs spread in front of him and hers pulled up to her chest, protecting herself.
“when i was 15, i was in a really bad place. i was undiagnosed, unmedicated, and wanting love. so i took what i could get from whoever i could get it from. i wasn’t promiscuous or anything, in fact i’ve never had sex. i just wanted someone to love me because i couldn’t love myself.
i dated this guy who was all kinds of wrong but i thought i was in love. he kept breaking my heart so one day when we were broken up, i decided to invite his friend over to hang out. i thought he was cute and we made out and stuff but that was as far as i wanted it to go,” she took a breath and a drink of water as tears filled her eyes again.
he knew where this was going and he felt himself getting even more angry but he let her keep going.
“i tried to keep him off me, i really did. he was pulling my shorts so hard and i was trying to keep them on, i thought my nails would break. i kept crying and saying no over and over. but it was like it didn’t matter. like he didn’t hear me. but i know he did because when he stopped, he called me a tease and wiped his hand on a stuffed animal that was near the bed.”
he wanted so badly to hold her and tell her he’d never let that happen to her again, but he held himself back not wanting to make things worse.
she cleared her throat after a moment of pause. “anyway, i was working through it on my own for years and didn’t tell anyone until like a year later. and then when i got in therapy we worked on it for a bit and i thought i had gotten better. but i was scrolling through tumblr and came across this story that was non-con, non-consensual, and it just fucking broke me.
i don’t normally kinkshame or tell people what they shouldn’t do because that’s their business but i’ll never understand non-consensual, rape fantasies. there’s absolutely nothing to fantasize about. it’s humiliating. it’s painful. physically, mentally, and emotionally. it makes you feel like you’ll never be clean again and that you’re not worthy of even the smallest of respect or love.
noah, i worked so hard to make myself believe that i’m not dirty or broken and that i am worthy. i worked so hard and it was just stripped away from me again like it was nothing.”
“i know you did. you always work hard. and let me tell you something,” he moved so he was right in front of her on his knees. he lifted her chin so she looked at him. “you are so worthy. you’re the worthiest person i know. you deserve the world and he doesn’t even deserve a grave. you’re not broken or dirty, you’re strong and beautiful. and i am so lucky to have you in my life, you know that, right? and now you don’t have to work as hard because you won’t be doing it by yourself.”
“promise?” her voice was small.
“i promise,” he confirmed.
she basically launched herself at him with a sob and wrapped her arms around him. he pulled her into his lap and held her. oh how he had imagined this moment, but she was not crying in his imagination.
“will you stay with me?” she asked into his chest.
“always,” he kissed the top of her head.
after some time, she stopped shaking from crying and relaxed in his arms.
“let’s get you some food,” he said.
“ice cream?”
“absolutely,” he chuckled. “but i think scarlett made pizza if you want some of that first. if there’s any left, andy and juliet are here too.”
“i might could do that, then ice cream,” she decided, pulling away from him.
“deal,” he stood up from the bed, taking her with him. after setting her down on her feet, he grabbed her hand - just to make sure she knew he was staying by her side, and they walked toward the kitchen.
“hey, sunshine,” andy said as they emerged from the darkened hallway.
“hey, sorry,” she said as she wrapped an arm around him and then juliet, still holding noah’s hand.
“you don’t have to apologize,” juliet said, as she smoothed the other woman’s hair. “you’re allowed to have people worry about you.”
“we’re more than happy to be those people for you,” andy backed her up.
y/n gave them a small smile and eyed the pizza.
“here’s your gross ass pizza, my love,” scarlett said, handing her a plate with a piece of her favorite pizza on it.
“you’re the best roommate a girl could have,” she said, sitting at the bar by andy, noah sitting on her other side.
“yeah, yeah,” scarlett said, intently watching as y/n took a bite of her pizza.
conversation buzzed around them as she finished her slice, she only wanted one right now - her main focus on the ice cream in her future. noah participated in the conversation on the outside but on the inside he was replaying her story over and over in his head like a movie on loop. he was angry for her. he had questions. but he wasn’t sure when was the right time to ask - though he knew not right now in front of everyone.
he must have zoned out because when he came too he was met with the expectant eyes of y/n.
“sorry, what?”
“ice cream?”
“of course,” he replied, rising from his spot at the bar.
“let me go change real quick,” she said, putting her hand on his arm.
“for why?”
“i’m in pajamas?” she motioned to her shorts and oversized t-shirt. a shirt that he just realized belonged to him at one point.
“we don’t have to get out of the car,” he said, standing up fully. “you look fine.” he didn’t miss the look that andy, juliet, and scarlett passed between them.
“you don’t let people eat in your car,” she trailed off.
he leaned down to look her in the eye, “consider yourself special, then. let’s go.”
before he turned around he caught a glimpse of a blush creep on her face and felt a sense of pride. he didn’t catch the way she looked at scarlett with wide eyes, or the way juliet motioned for her to move. andy was grinning at the whole scene.
she got up and slipped on a pair of sandals that were near the door and followed noah out the door and toward his car. he opened the passenger door for her. “well, thank you kind sir,” she said before sliding into the seat.
he chuckled as he shut the door and jogged around to the driver’s side. once he was buckled and started toward her favorite ice cream place, he chanced a look at y/n as she looked out the window.
“hey,” he said softly. “you okay?”
“i will be,” she answered. “it’s just a lot to process.”
“i can imagine. can i ask you something?”
“of course.”
“when you were telling me what happened, you said that you’d never had sex before it happened?”
“yeah. so my first and only experience with sex was that. which is why i always get weird when you guys start talking about it,” she explained.
“i’d always wondered. wait. did you say your only experience?” he was baffled.
“yeah,” she answered, finally fully looking at him.
“that honestly explains so much. and also i’m so sorry that your experience was that.”
“you don’t have to apologize. it happened. it sucks. it sucks a lot. and sometimes i feel like i’m missing out on a whole world. but most of the time i’m fine.”
“don’t do that,” he scolded.
“do what?”
“minimize your trauma to make you seem more palatable. it’s not helpful. it’s not cute.”
she went quiet and looked away, back out the window.
he kicked himself. that came out a lot harsher than he meant. he pulled into a parking spot at the ice cream place and told her to sit tight while he went to get the ice cream. she didn’t argue.
“y/n,” he said when he slid back into his seat, ice cream in hand.
she was surprised to see he got exactly what she wanted, not that she deviated from what she liked all that often. she just wasn’t aware of how much he paid attention to her.
“i didn’t-” he started. “i didn’t mean for that to come out that way. i just meant that i don’t want you to minimize with me. you’re allowed to feel however you feel.”
“i know. i just guess i didn’t realize that’s what i was doing.”
“you do it all the time, doll. i just never knew why and i think i get it now.”
she smiled softly. “how did you know which ice cream i wanted?” she knew the change in subject wouldn’t go unnoticed but hoped he would catch on that she didn’t want to talk about it anymore for the time being.
he pulled out his phone and went to the notes app. “i keep track of your favorites.”
she blushed. “why?”
“haven’t caught on yet?” he smirked at her.
“caught on to what?”
“i’m practically at your beck and call. i let you and no one else eat in my car. i apparently let you wear my clothes,” he gestured to the t-shirt she was wearing.
“noah, i don’t understand.”
“how can someone be so smart and so blind at the same time? i’m basically in love with you, dummy.”
#noah sebastian x reader#noah sebastian fic#noah sebastian fanfic#noah sebastian#bad omens fanfic#bad omens fic
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Pre-show Jitters
cute, little, npmd story
Angela nervously paces back and forth backstage, her heart pounding with anticipation. She's about to perform in Nerdy Prudes Must Die, but her nerves are getting the best of her. Wanting some reassurance, she pulls out her phone and dials your number. As the phone rings, she takes a deep breath, hoping that you will pick up.
Sat in the audience your phone starts to vibrate in your lap, "Uh hold that thought Court." You rose from your seat and quickly shuffled out to the lobby, "Hi sweet girl, everything okay?" Anglea nervously chewed on her thumbnail, "Yeah, I'm just feeling really ah! You know?" You smiled at the thought of her calling you for emotional support. "I think that it's been a really long time since you've performed on stage like this and it's normal to be nervous." Anglea stopped pacing and smiled at the ground. "Either way, I've seen the work you've put into this. You are prepared, you are ready, you're going to do amazing Angela. You are the most talented person I know." Audience members shuffled past you, heading to their seats.
Angela knew the surefire way to cure her pre-show jitters was to get her hands on you, "Could you meet me in the back alley really fast?" Your smile grew 10 sizes, "Of course." You hung up and slipped out the door. When you turned the corner to the alley Angela grabbed your shoulders pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. Once the shock had fallen, you wrapped your arms around her waist, drawing lazy patterns on her lower back. "Hi honey." The pet name made your stomach erupt in butterflies, "Hi my Broadway star." Angela giggled and took a deep breath, breathing in your scent and warmth.
Angela pulled away and grabbed your chin, "Thank you." Your cheeks flushed, "No need to thank me. I would always sneak away for you." Anglea then saw what you were wearing, a homemade crewneck that said, 'Grace Chastity's girlfriend'. "Oh my god, your shirt Y/n!" You giggled as you watched your girlfriend gawk at your creation. "Wait look at the back!" You turned around to show a picture of Spork wearing Grace's butterfly clips. Angela laughed loudly before grabbing your chin again. She pressed a sweet kiss to your lips, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer into her. Four kisses later, Angela was peeling herself off of you, "I need to go." You kissed her forehead, sending warmth directly to her cheek. "Go kick ass." She hugged you once more before disappearing inside.
"Everything okay?" Courtney asked as you returned to your seat. You sat down, and smiled at her, "Yeah, someone just had some pre-show jitters." Courtney smiled knowingly before returning to her conversation with Amanda. A few minutes later the lights dimmed and the starting notes played out.
After the show the Smosh gang took Angela and the cast out for dinner and a couple of drinks to celebrate opening night. Angela had been touching you in some way since the show ended, holding your hand, her hand resting on your knee while you ate. Angela showed her appreciation for you in many ways, but physical touch was a huge one for her. She could use physical touch to say what her mouth or brain couldn't.
"So you made this yourself?" Lauren asked as she sipped her drink, ice clinking in the glass. You nodded excitedly and let go of Angela's hand to show her the back in a photo you had taken earlier. While chatting with Lauren you could feel her looking at you, "One second Lauren." You looked at Angela, "Can I help you?" Anglea smiled widely, giggled a little then said, "You're my dream girl Y/n." The entire table either gagged, made some kind of disgusted dramatic noise, or awed. Angela went into defensive mode attacking those who gagged, "At least I'm getting laid, Shayne!" You laughed with Lauren at your girlfriend and thanked the heavens or whatever is up there for sending you, Angela.
#angela giarratana#smosh#starkid#angela giarratana x reader#angela giarrantana fanfic#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#grace chasity
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Timeless - Five Hargreeves X Reader
Main story parts:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36
A/N: I know it's taken some time, but this chapter is finally here! Sorry for taking so long to update with a main chapter, two of my grandparents died, I had to quit my job because they kept leading me on about promoting me to full-time, and I had some really bad burnout from it all. I'm going to try my best to upload more frequently, but my chapters run pretty long so they still will take some time, but hopefully nothing crazy happens that pulls me away from this for that long again. I worked really hard to get this chapter done by the Hargreeves' birthday so I hope it's good! Thanks for understanding and I hope you enjoy! <3
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Pt 37 - Facing Your Mortality With Friends And Other Ways To Cope With The Inevitable
With a flash of bright blue, the sharp chill of cold wind whipped across Five and Lila as they arrived at their destination. Five looked around as frustration filled his system. All that the eye could see was a dark, snowy landscape. They botched it. They fucking botched it. And now he was stuck in a snowy wasteland with the last person he'd want to be around with no answers and a slim chance of getting back.
"Oh, brilliant idea, Lila!" Five remarked sarcastically, "Welcome to the Ice Age!"
Why? Why did he always have to jump back into some type of chaos when all he wanted was peace? He looked around before him for any sign that could give him an idea or clue on what to do. But all there was, was snow.
"Shut up and just look." Lila retorted
Five turned, finally looking behind him as he saw the dark, looming shape of a building across the snowy field.
"The Commission." He said under his breath "Shit."
With the briefcase still in his hand, Five began to walk as quickly as he could through the thick snow toward the building. Lila followed closely behind wrapping her jacket around her tighter to stave off the cold as she wondered how Five was not feeling the chill. The wind and snow were unrelenting as the pair arrived at what seemed to be the ruins of the Commission building. Frustration faded as concern now took over Five's brain. There were no lights, no sound, and no sign of life. The front door was broken in allowing Five to quickly step into the building, his eyes going wide as he saw the rubble and decay inside the main foyer. What happened here?
Walking in after him, Lila looked around at the remnants of what was once a very familiar building for her. Broken tile and dirt covered the floor and ruined furniture was scattered about the place as she glanced around the building's entrance.
"Holy shit. I was just here. How long was I bloody gone?" Lila asked aloud
"It seems the grandfather paradox is affecting everything." Five replied placing the briefcase on the ground "Even places out of time."
"Is that possible?" Lila questioned
"I stopped tracking what was possible a long time ago." Five commented back
As Five looked around once more, he nervously fiddled with the watch on his wrist. The one that you had gifted to him. He wondered where you were since he wasn't able to find you before leaving. He wondered what you were doing and if you were alright. He hoped that another wave hadn't hit and that you had someone around to take care of you while he was gone like Klaus or maybe Viktor since Diego seemed not to care since Stan showed up. Being here was leaving him with more questions than answers and he wanted nothing more than to get back to you as soon as possible. Seeing Lila move forward into the building, Five picked up the briefcase and began to follow her. But then the sound of something breaking could be heard as ceiling tile began to fall down from above. Both Five and Lila jumped back in time so as to not get hit, but this building felt more unsafe to be in at the moment. They needed to find answers and they needed to go.
"We better get moving." Five said as he walked toward the foyer staircase "I'll check the Infinite Switchboard."
"And I'll check Herb's office." Lila responded before commenting "Little cockroach would survive anything."
With the briefcase in hand, Five turned away from Lila and began to make his way up the steps heading toward the Infinite Switchboard when from down below he could hear as Lila called out,
"Bye."
"See ya." He replied curtly
"Miss you." Lila mentioned
While she couldn't see it as he was already too high on the staircase Five gave her a confused side-eye as he awkwardly stated,
"That's weird."
However, no response was returned to his comment and all that could be heard was the sound of her footsteps walking away. With a shrug of his shoulders, Five continued his journey to the switchboard. He had walked these halls plenty of times before but they were never this empty. There was always some type of hustle and bustle of the hundreds of workers that were employed here. Back then he hated it because he couldn't stand this place, what it stood for, or the power they held over him while he bided his time, but now it just felt eerie being so empty. The sounds of his footsteps echoed in the halls as he approached the room he was looking for. Entering the broken doorway, the lights in the room and on the machines were off and the windows on either side of the room were shattered into pieces. The cold wind and snow fell in from the outside as Five placed the briefcase down once more. Leaning over the switchboard he fiddled with a few of the knobs and dials managing to get one of the screens to illuminate.
"Okay. Okay. That's good." Five said to himself
It wasn't much, but it was a start. Tuning the large dial on the control panel a fuzzy image of Herb came into view and with a little more tuning the image became clear as a recording began to play.
"There's been a rip in the space-time continuum. It's swallowing everything." Herb explained, an urgent panic lacing his tone "Oh, my sweet Dot, Iris, Josh from accounting, they're all gone. I've tried everything! I don't know what else to do. The timeline is collapsing."
As Five watched the video, each word Herb spoke was more concerning than the last. The timeline itself wasn't just facing some unusual flux it was completely collapsing in on itself. The sounds of screaming could be heard in the background of the recording as Herb looked away for a moment before looking back. With a solemn face, he spoke his last words,
"This is... the end."
And as a flash of light came across the screen all that could be heard was the sound of Herb's painful screams before the switchboard screen went completely back. Five stood up from leaning over the board, a slight look of sadness could be seen in his reflection on one of the switchboard TV screens. As he placed his hands in his pockets, he took a moment to reflect on what he had just seen. The room was quiet but then from behind him he could hear Lila's voice call out,
"I could kill for some scrambled eggs right now."
"This is bigger than the timeline, Lila." Five said flatly
"What's bigger than the timeline?" She asked
"The entire universe." Five stated seriously turning to look at her, "The missing dogs, people... It's the opposite of the big bang. Instead of the universe expanding, it's now collapsing in on itself."
"Like a prolapsing rectum," Lila replied
Five blinked his eyes a few times both perplexed and disgusted by her statement. Technically, she wasn't wrong but what an unusual connection to make. Slightly disturbed, Five replied
"That's a weird analogy, but yeah."
"Here, then. This might give us some answers." Lila mentioned
Lifting up an old green book, Lila presented it to Five for him to look at. Taking the book from her, Five wiped off a thin layer of dust before reading the title on the cover,
"The master handbook."
"The one and only!" Lila commented as she sat on a nearby control panel
Flipping through the pages Five looked for anything that could be of use to the situation they were in. Things disappearing, waves of energy, grandfather paradox, really anything that could point them in the right direction. He quickly glanced at the words as they flew by on the pages only stopping to backtrack when he saw the bold letters spelling out EMERGENCY PROTOCOL. Flipping back to that page he scanned through finding something that seemed reasonably useful.
"Here we are. Okay, protocol." Five said as he began to read "In the unlikely case of the grandfather paradox, the founder and any essential personnel should-"
As he read Lila jumped up from her seat on a control panel quickly moving to his side as she leaned over the book. With a pencil in her hand, she pointed to the rest of the sentence finishing,
"...be immediately remanded to the operations bunker."
The two of them paused as they thought over the words they had just read. The master handbook was never really something of use to them because they were never upper-level enough to access it. They had both heard it referenced in passing before but it wasn't until now that they were actually looking at it. But even if the emergency protocol was giving them a helpful clue into what to do now, there were now even more questions to be had.
"The founder. What founder?" Lila asked
"I don't know." Five replied
As they stood in silence for a moment, once more part of the ceiling came crashing down. Placing a hand on her shoulder Five pushed Lila back as he took a step back himself. This place was falling apart by the minute and the last thing he needed was to be crushed under rubble. Again. He needed to find this founder, get his answers and get out of this decrepit structure before it came down on him before he could get back to you.
"We need to find that bunker..." Five stated
"ASAP." Five and Lila said in unison
"Jinx! A-B-C-1-2-3, personal padlock!" Lila exclaimed
Rolling his eyes, Five picked up the briefcase with one hand as he started to walk out of the room, now determined to find the bunker mentioned in the book. Lila following closely behind with a childish grin on her face at 'blocking' him from speaking. Trying to remind her of the seriousness of this investigation Five began to protest,
"Can you not-"
"You can't speak!" Lila shouted once more
Five let out an annoyed huff as he rolled his eyes once more. Whatever. The bunker is what mattered and that is what his goal was now. He only hoped that whatever you were doing was better than his situation.
And it was. You were surrounded by a peaceful blackness. Wherever you were right now, it was comfortable, you were cozy. The quiet of the dark void was soothing. This place, it was loving, it was safe. If it was possible, you would stay here forever surrounded by the comforting stillness of it all. However, that was not the case as a fit of shouting broke through your peaceful void. Quickly your eyes opened, as a voice yelled something but you couldn't quite make out the words.
You looked around at your surroundings. You were in Kenny's basement, laying across the couch. Sitting up you got a better lay of the land as you noticed Dean was sat upright fast asleep leaning against the front of the couch, his bow wrapped in his arms as if he was guarding you. Viktoria was in the corner of the room laying on the floor as she used her viola case as a pillow and a throw rug as a blanket. And then there was Bren, sprawled facedown and shirtless under the air hockey table. There was something written on his back but you could not tell what is said from where you were.
As the yelling from upstairs continued you could see the rest of your friends begin to groggily wake up. You all looked around at each other, sleep still in your eyes when words finally rang clear as Kenny shouted from upstairs,
"Are you guys shitting me?!"
"Well, this is sure to be interesting," Dean commented placing his bow down on the ground next to him as he stretched
"What's going on?" Bren asked groggily as he slid out from under the air hockey table
As he finally stood up, you could see ASSHOLE written across his back. You, Dean, and Viktoria all began to snicker at the sight only to be met with Bren's confused face as he turned around.
"What are you all laughing at?" He questioned
The three of you looked at each other for a moment before all of you released the laughter you were holding back. Bren looked at all of you even more confused before the shouting from upstairs pulled your attention as you all heard Kenny shout,
" Can't you two get intimate somewhere other than my bedroom!"
You stopped laughing as you all looked at each other with wide eyes. Jumping up from where she lay on the floor Viktoria ran towards the basement stairs as she called out behind her.
"Oh, I gotta know more!"
You, Dean, and Bren all looked at each other before bolting up the stairs after Viktoria and stopping on the first floor right at the bottom of the staircase leading upstairs. You all only stood there for a moment as you saw Lucas and Addison doing the walk of shame down the stairs. Their hair was both a mess, there were smudges of tinted lipgloss on Lucas' face and both of them were blushing profusely. Neither of them met your eyes as you all smirked and snickered with Dean going so far as to whistle at the pair. As they awkwardly stood off to the side away from the group Kenny came tromping down the staircase calling out,
"How dare you desecrate the sanctity of my bed chambers with your unfiltered hormones!"
You shot a look over to the pair.
"Did you guys-" You began to ask
"No! No!" Lucas exclaimed
"We were just making out!" Addison chimed in
"Pfft, making out." Kenny mocked before loudly complaining "You were eating each other's faces like wolves on a deer carcass. And in MY BED nonetheless."
"I don't get why you're so upset. You're like the resident slut of this group, shouldn't you be like pro-intimacy or something." Bren commented
"Listen while I appreciate being called the resident slut here, I don't appreciate having unwanted saliva and sweat on my pristine bamboo bedsheets." Kenny remarked back "And I'm not going to take any criticism from the guy whose back says asshole on it."
"My back says what?" Bren questioned attempting to look over his shoulder at his back
"Don't worry, he's lying," Dean interjected
Bren however was unsure of who to believe and continued to try and look at his back to see if something was written there. As he did so, Lucas piped up from the corner of the room,
"You could just have (Y/N) use her powers to remove any traces of us."
"No." You stated firmly
"Oh c'mon (Y/N)," Addison whined
You shot the pair a death glare. Something like this had happened before on a group camping trip where the pair had snuck far away from the campsite and back to the parking lot of the campground to Dean's backseat. However, unlike this case, things had escalated at that time. You were surprised Dean didn't kill them for desecrating Veronica when he found out but at his request, since you owed him a favor, you used your abilities to restore Veronica's backseat to its former state. It was gross. You couldn't look them in the eye for a good week, but it was fine because they couldn't look at you either. But from that day forward Dean implemented a new rule in his car and you implemented a new rule on what your friends can and cannot ask you to use your powers for. And this, while not as bad as that last incident, still fell under cannot.
"I did that shit once but never again." You strongly reaffirmed before looking at Kenny and stating "Kenny, stop being a baby and just wash your stupid sheets."
"Fine." Kenny grumbled, "But they owe me some type of favor."
"Yeah, that's fair." Addison replied
"Okay, deal," Lucas added "How about I start by making breakfast for everyone."
"I hope it's not a whole carton of scrambled eggs again." Viktoria quietly mentioned as Lucas walked away, "I couldn't even stand to look at eggs for like a month afterwards."
It seemed the small amount of tension that had been in the room had fully faded away as the group began to make their way toward Kenny's kitchen chattering about what you all should eat for breakfast. But as they walked ahead Dean pulled you odd to the side and asked,
"Can you help me grab something from my car?"
He sounded slightly nervous, but you had no clue why. Wanting to find out what was going on though you replied,
"Yeah, sure man."
You followed him to the front door, but as he opened it Bren asked from behind you,
"Where you guys going?" Bren asked
"Just out to the car to grab something, we'll be back." You replied
"Wait can someone please tell me if my back has something written on it?" Bren called out
But by that point, the front door was pretty much closed behind you two. It wasn't a far walk to Dean's car as it was parked in Kenny's driveway, but you could see more and more of Dean's nerves. He was rolling his shoulders back and flexing his hands whether he noticed it or not. As he stood in front of the driver's side door you could see him take a deep breath before turning to look at you. You stared at him waiting for him to say something but it seemed like nothing was coming. Trying to prompt him you inquired,
"So what do we need to grab?"
"Actually, I- um...I wanted to give you something." Dean replied softly
Your head tilted to the side as you looked at him slightly confused. You had no clue what he would want to give to you that would make him so nervous to do so. Your brother was like an open book to you just like you typically were to him so it was unusual to have him be nervous and you not know why.
"Oh?" You asked, "You do"
"Well yeah...y'know how last night I said I was going out to get food but it took a while for me to come back?" He asked back
"Yeah, I recall," You answered, "...Kind of."
You relatively recalled the night prior. There was Just Dance, karaoke, fanfiction reading, and overall fun. But things did get a little blurry with each drink you consumed. You could remember when Dean left to go get some fast food from a 24-hour diner but when he came back wasn't as clear.
"Well, it took me so long because actually, I made a bit of a side trip to get you some stuff that might help you feel a little better about everything."
You looked at him curious as to what he may have gotten you that would make you feel better but would also cause him to have such nerves. Perhaps he had somehow found Five and he was knocked out in the trunk of the car. That would make sense, but there's no way Dean would win a fight against Five. And even if he did, the minute Five came to he would just teleport out of the trunk. Besides that, you couldn't think of any grand gesture that might have him feeling this way, but you sure were willing to find out.
"So what are they?" You replied
"Oh right." Dean exclaimed as he realized he hadn't actually given you the items yet
You watched as Dean turned around and opened the driver's door to his car. He leaned over the center console and opened the glove compartment before pulling out some items. You could see the movement of him placing some of the items down on his driver's seat but you couldn't tell what they were yet since his body was blocking the view. As he turned back around though he extended a set of folders to you to take. Taking them into your hands, you smirked as you joked,
"You got me manila folders?"
"Look at the labels." He replied softly
You looked at Dean. There was a caring gentleness in his gaze and you could see saw the insistence on his face. Looking down at the labels on the folders, your smirk dropped. Your eyes slowly blinking in confusion as you read over the words again and again.
The labels had your parents' names on them.
Slowly, you looked back up at Dean and quietly asked,
"Dean what are these?"
"I wanted to get you something of your parents so I searched up articles about what happened and found out their names and the university they went to," Dean explained, "and so I may have broken in and stolen their old admissions and enrollment files."
"Their old university is like half an hour away Dean." You stated not fully believing this was real
"It's only ten minutes if you drive at 80 miles per hour." Dean replied before pointing at the folders and adding "The files have their applications including the essays, classes they were enrolled in, and their grades."
You looked down at the folders in disbelief before carefully opening them. You looked through your mother's first. Everything for her application was filled out in her beautiful cursive handwriting. She wrote so in-depth about why she wanted to major in both architecture and interior design. Why pursuing both for a future career was the best path for her. Why this school would be her perfect fit. You could almost hear her voice speak to you as you read her essay. It was familiar and comforting. And then there was your father's application. Besides the portions where things had to be written out, everything else was typed. You knew it was because his handwriting was just barely above chicken scratch, but when you looked over his essay you could see his sunny passion for the structural engineering work he wanted to do shine through. The warmth that your father exuded was just bursting off the page. You then flipped through the folders to look at their classes and enrollment profiles. Your dad of course had more courses listed as he was a year above your mom, but your mom was maxing out her credit limits every semester taking double what your dad would. And they were both exceptional students earning high marks in all their classes. How they managed all this work plus extracurriculars was astounding. Although you had managed to do the same for years so perhaps your family just had a knack for it. You lingered on the pages, your fingertips gliding over the words as if you were reaching out and feeling your parents for the first time in years.
"Your parents were really smart." Dean commented as he saw you look over their grades "Just like you."
You looked back up at Dean with tears beginning to form in your eyes. This was real. These were your parents. A part of them at least.
"Dean- I-" You tried to speak but you struggled to find the right words "This is incredible."
"Actually there's more," Dean responded,
"More?" You questioned
Although it had the inflection of a question, it was less of one and more so a request. A request for anything else he had. EVERYTHING else he had. You wanted it all. You wanted to see it, to read it, to feel it. You wanted to have and hold whatever tangible piece of your parents you could.
"Yeah." He answered, "As awful as your parents' deaths were they kind of got memorialized at the school and so I was able to take these."
You saw as Dean turned around once more and picked up the items he had put on the driver's seat. Turning back toward you he held out two things for you to take which you slowly reached out and took from him. In one hand there was a framed photo of your dad with a wide smile standing in front of the door to his old philanthropy fraternity house and in the other you held the Phi Kappa Theta yearbooks for 1988-1989 and 1989-1990.
"That's your dad's photo from when he was president of his fraternity and also the fraternity yearbooks. Your dad has more photos in the earlier yearbook, but there's a whole memorial section in the other one with pages from other members writing about how great your dad was. so I took both." Dean explained as he handed each item over "The fraternity was having a party so it was really easy to just uh- walk in and take stuff."
Before you could even begin to process how meaningful these were though, Dean added,
"And then for your mom, they actually had a little display for her in the architecture building so I got these photos too."
Carefully, you took the photos of your mom from him as well. There was one of her drawing a building plan, another of her putting together a miniture model of a designed interior, and then a picture from her time on the school dance team. Of course that had nothing to do with either of her majors, but it was nice to see that aspect of her reflected as well. You could vaguely remember your dad taking you to the sporting events where she would perform with her team. You two sat in the seats closest to the field and cheered her on, and when she was done performing she would meet you two on the event center concourse as you ran on your little legs to her shouting 'Mommy! Good job!' and 'I love you!'. It was bittersweet to remember those times but it was better than forgetting completely.
You looked at your parents' faces. They were familar, but different. Your parents weren't old when you disappeared, but you could see their youth reflected in the photos. They had smile lines and the beginnings of dark circles which you could only assume were the result of college all-nighters. You were older than they were in these photos. It was only by a few years, but something about it felt wrong. Children are supposed to outlive their parents, but not like this. You looked at the photos of your mom once more, your eyes lingering over every detail on her face. It was like looking in a mirror. Everything of hers was yours and everything of yours was hers.
"You look just like her, y'know." Dean commented
You looked back up at him, the corners of your lips turning slightly upward as you mused,
"Reading my mind again?"
"No, just stating the obvious." He replied
You looked back down at the photos of your mom once more, the corners of your mouth surprisingly staying in their upturned position. It was comforting to have someone tell you that you looked like her after so long of not hearing it. It meant that when you looked in the mirror, some part of her was looking back.
"Yeah...everyone always said that I was her carbon copy," You wistfully reminisced "Except for my smile. Everyone said I had my dad's smile."
Dean stepped away from the car and over to your side. Looking down at the photo of your father in front of his fraternity house he saw the smile he wore on his face. If someone had shown him the image of that smile and asked him to identify it, he almost certainly would've said it was yours. It was practically identical.
"I can see it." Dean recalled "When you smile it's the exact same."
You looked over at Dean who looked back at you with a kind smile on his face and slowly your smile reflected his own. You saw as Dean looked down at the photo he had handed you of your dad once more before looking back up at you again and commenting,
"Yeah, that's the same smile."
The words began to form in your mind on what you were going to say to thank him for such a gift but before they could even leave your mouth you saw as Dean's eyes shot wide and he recalled,
"Oh I almost forgot, this was in the display too."
Walking back over to the front seat of his car once more he grabbed what looked to be some type of spiral-bound book. Gesturing to the stuff in your hands, he carefully took the pile from you before handing you the item. As you finally got your eyes on it though, you finally recognized what it was.
"Mom's sketchbook..." You said under your breath
You traced the cursive of your mother's name written on the cover and the number one she printed below it. It was her first sketchbook. What should've been the first of many. Opening the front cover you slowly turned through the pages filled with different sketches of building plans and room interiors. It was a jumbled mix of rough drafts, doodles, and final works, some of which felt familiar as you realized they were the concepts your mother had adapted to fit the floor plans of your old home.
You recalled the way in which you would sit at the table with your mom over the years and just watch her draw in her sketchbooks. And when she was having a mental block she'd pass the sketchbook and pencil over to you and let you draw an idea of a building or a new concept for a room. And when you finished, she would always smile and thank you before flipping to the next page and turning your idea into a reality. When she didn't have any inspiration, you became her inspiration. And over the years, while you never became quite as good as your mom was, you developed a knack for drawing buildings and interior rooms too.
You flipped through the pages until you arrived at ones that were blank. Ones that should've been filled with ideas and drawings and eraser marks, but never would be. Slowly, you closed the book and you picked up the rest of the items that Dean had taken from you to hold. You stared at the pile as a bittersweet feeling washed over you. Gently, you held the items closer to you as you closed your eyes. A few streaks of tears rolled down your face as the water that had stayed in your waterline was forced out. You knew you were never going to see your parents again, but the items in your arms made them feel real and tangible in a way you hadn't felt in years. These items wouldn't change the fact that they were dead, or the fact that you never got to say goodbye, but they were much more healing of a keepsake compared to the newspaper clipping announcing their deaths. And for that reason alone, they were more than enough. You hugged the folders and books and photos tighter against your chest as if trying to send a message across time and space, life and death, that you loved them. You still loved them. You'd always love them.
There was a silence for a moment as you held the items in your arms, but then softly Dean spoke,
"I know it's not much and I'm sorry for kinda desecrating the memorials of them, but I just thought even if there's not that many days left, you still deserved something of them."
You looked over at him with a smile forming on your face. You couldn't care less about the mini memorials the university had. He had found and brought these items to you on the thought and hope that it would make you feel better. And it did. He took a risk just to make you happy. And he did. You didn't expect these items, but now they were yours and you'd never let them go.
"Dean besides the locket around my neck and my diary back at the hotel these are the most tangible pieces of my parents I've had in years." You replied "You don't how much this means to me."
A smile began to creep onto Dean's face as he realized he had succeeded in what he wanted to do. It was a risky decision that he made on a whim at like 3 a.m., but it was all worth it to see you just that little bit happier.
"That's good." Dean mentioned as he lifted up his hand "At least it means busting up my hand was worth it."
You looked at his left hand to see that it was bandaged around his knuckles with stains of dried blood on the gauze wrap.
"Oh my god, I didn't even notice that!" You exclaimed concerned "What did you do?"
"My lockpick broke so I uh- I had to break the glass of the display case your mom's stuff was in." Dean replied with a shrug "But hey uh- twins, am I right?"
You looked over at the pile of items he had given you down at your own bandaged left hand from the night before. While his gauze was a little more haphazardly done compared to the neat bandaging Kenny had done for you, they were both wrapped on the same hand in almost the exact same spot. When you called Dean your twin you didn't think it would also apply to matching injuries but here you were with fucked up hands all around.
"Huh yeah. Twins." You commented back, a smirk playing on your face
Throwing his left arm around your shoulder, Dean leaned you towards him as he placed a kiss on top of your head. He couldn't fix the world for you, but if he could do his best to make these last few days just a little better, then by the time the world ended he would be satisfied.
"C'mon, let's go see what's for breakfast." He suggested
Feeling your stomach slightly rumble, you nodded your head at the suggestion and the two of you turned to head back into the house. As you walked down the path back up to the stairs together, you looked over at Dean and said,
"You're an amazing brother."
Dean looked at you softly as he took in what you said. While he would never admit it out loud, he also would feel highly accomplished if, between him and Diego, he was deemed the better brother. The BEST brother. Of course, he would keep these feelings to himself out of respect for you, but amazing was pretty close to best and he was going to do his best to get there.
"I promised I'd take care of you." Dean responded cheerfully "I'm just doing my job."
As you walked back up the front stairs and into the house you could hear the sound of your friends conversing in the kitchen. Walking in with Dean, you saw as Kenny, Viktoria, and Addison sat around the kitchen table while Lucas had his back turned as he cooked something on the stove.
"Where did you two go?" Kenny asked
"Dean broke into my parents' old university and stole stuff of theirs for me to remember them by." You replied as you placed the items on the table
"Aww, that's sweet." Addison cooed before pointing at the images and questioning "Is that them?"
"Yeah, it is. My mom was 18 in those photos and my dad was between 19 and 20 in his." You explained pointing at each of your parents "Although there are probably some of him at 18 if you look in the yearbooks, I haven't had a chance to look yet."
Tilting the photos so they could see them better, your friends at the table took a look at the images. They had never actually seen a photo of your parents before. You would only talk about them openly on rare occasions and even then it was more so memories or facts about them rather than their appearance, so it was interesting to actually see what they looked like. However, as Kenny looked at the picture of your father, a smirk came to his face as he asked,
"Damn (Y/N), is your dad single?"
"No." You retorted unamused
"Is your mom single?" Viktoria chimed in
"No!" You exclaimed, "First of all, they're dead, and second of all they're married in the afterlife."
"How do you know?" Kenny questioned
"I just do!" You shouted back
Viktoria reached up a hand and patted your shoulder in an attempt to ease your annoyance as she stated,
"Calm down, we're just teasing."
You let out a frustrated sigh as you pulled out a chair and sat down at the table with the group. You pulled the pile of items Dean had gotten close to you as you took a moment to look through one of your dad's yearbooks. You listened as the group chatted about random events from the past before Addison broached the topic of 'what now?'
"So what do we do today?" She asked, "I mean the world is still ending, so how do we fill the time from now until doomsday?"
You looked up from the yearbook and saw the rest of your friends looking toward you for an answer. Carefully shutting the book, you placed it back on the pile with the rest of the items and gave your attention to your friends. But just because you were the smartest in the room didn't mean you always had an idea.
"Honestly, I don't know." You replied, "But I'll take any suggestions that don't end our existence earlier than a few days from now."
The group was silent for only a moment before the sound of Kenny clearing his throat could be heard. The rest of you turned your heads to look at him, and with a wide smile on his face he announced,
"I have a suggestion."
"Go on." Dean implored
"I just so happen to know of a very special boy who had an 18th birthday a few days ago, twice, but also it sucked, TWICE, so he should definitely get a do-over." Kenny explained enthusiastically, obviously insinuating that the very special boy was himself
"You want to go bowling again?" Viktoria asked confused
Kenny's face immediately contorted into a grimace of sorts as he retorted,
"What? No. I suck at bowling."
"Personally, I don't mind bowling." Dean chimed in
"Of course, you don't mind. You always win." Addison remarked
"It's not my fault you all can't keep up with my accuracy expertise." Dean bragged
"(Y/N) could." Viktoria mentioned
"Not without cheating." Dean jabbed
Turning your head to look at him, you shot him a displeased look. This had been a minor point of contention before, but he just couldn't seem to let it go.
"Uh excuse me ya dickhole, I have held my own in bowling without my powers on many occasions." You remarked
"Still cheated." Dean asserted
"I only cheated ONCE!" You loudly proclaimed "And it was because I was on my period and my ibuprofen wasn't working and I was upset because you were rubbing it in my face that you were winning. So really it was your fault I cheated at bowling."
"Stop talking about bowling!" Kenny interjected "We're talking about me getting a birthday do-over!"
"Why do you get a birthday do-over? My 18th birthday was a little over 2 weeks ago." Bren questioned
You saw as he stood there with an unpleasant look on his face, but it seemed he had finally managed to find his shirt. As the rest of the group turned to look at him though, Bren's eyes landed solely on Dean. Annoyance laced his tone as he mockingly commented,
"Thanks for lying to me Dean. My back did say asshole."
"I told you so." Kenny reminded
"Haha, yeah it did." Dean laughed
Lifting his hand up slightly, Bren smacked the back of Dean's head at his comment.
"Ow." Dean said as he rubbed the back of his head
Turning his back to the group, he lifted up the back of his shirt to show off where the word had been written. You saw that he had managed to scrub off both A-S-S on one side and the L-E on the other, but that left the unfortunate message of HO still there. Once again the group snickered at the message on his back causing Bren's face to contort into an even more annoyed expression.
"You're gonna help me get the rest of it off you prick," Bren demanded
"Alright ho." Dean teasingly joked
Rolling his eyes, Bren pulled down the back of his shirt as he finally took a seat at the kitchen table with the rest of the group. When he was fully seated, Kenny turned his attention toward him as he responded to Bren's prior question.
"To answer your question my dear Brennyboo," Kenny began
"Hate that nickname..." Bren mumbled
He said he hated it, but you all knew he didn't. The small smile he always tried to hide was a good indicator of his true feelings as Brennyboo was the earliest nickname Kenny ever gave him, so as much as he complained about it, everyone knew he actually loved it.
"I get a birthday do-over because my birthday is closest." Kenny finished
Things were quiet for a moment as everyone processed his reasoning. But as the words settled in, and the message was getting through, you all began to realize that his reasoning was kinda bullshit. Being the first to speak up, Dean replied,
"That's not fair. Viktoria and I's 18th birthday passed a while ago so we should be more qualified to get birthday do-overs."
"Well Lucas and I won't even get to see our 18th birthdays so I think we should actually get pre-emptive do-overs." Addison suggested
"Not to throw my hat in the ring, but I did have four birthdays without you guys which means four times the do-overs." You chimed in
You guys began to debate the logistics of who was the most qualified to have a do-over party. Granted, was it a very stupid and unnecessary debate? Yes. But by god were you going to die on this trash opinion of a hill? Also yes. Who would you be as a friend group if you weren't willing to die on the stupidest of hills every once in a while? But as you continued to debate each other, Lucas chimed in from over by the stove asking,
"What if we just all had a group party?"
The rest of you stopped for a moment before a collective of 'oh yeah's came from you all at the table. But with the debate laid to rest by the easiest and what should have been the most obvious answer, another question arose.
"Okay, but now we're back to square one of what do we do. If it's all our party who picks what happens." Addison asked
Confused looks came to the faces of those who sat around the table as you all tried to think of a solution that would work. But then, it was like a lightbulb came on in your head as an idea shot straight to the forefront of your mind. You just had to consult the ultimate decision-maker. Turning to Bren you inquired,
"Bren, do you still carry DND dice on you?"
"Yeah, of course." He replied matter-of-factly "I'm not THAT different from the last timeline."
"Hand me your d8." You requested, reaching out your hand
You watched as Bren dug through his pants pockets for a moment before pulling out a small drawstring bag and dumping out the set of seven dice on the table. Leaning in Bren looked over the dice trying to find the right one.
"Uh...percentile...no that's my d10..." He mumbled before exclaiming "Ah here it is! d8!"
Picking up the d8 die, he placed it in your hand as you brought it over to yourself. You rolled the die between your fingertips and for a moment you reminisced on the times you had played dnd with your friends. They were good times, but right now you needed the die to help you make a decision. You looked up and around at your group of friends, all of them looking back waiting for you to explain why you were asking for dice.
"As we all know, a d8 is numbered one through eight, and although I have never fully agreed with it, we all know what our numbers are." You explained holding up the die "I am going to roll this die and whoever's number it lands on gets to pick what we do. If it lands on 8, I'll roll it again. But no matter the outcome we follow the birthday rule that the answer is always yes. Okay?"
Looking around at everyone they either nodded their head at your explanation or verbally agreed to the terms you had laid out. With everyone's acknowledgment, you took that as your sign to roll. Shaking the die in your hand, you hoped for a reasonable outcome, but you would have to see what fate had in mine. Rather than it being the heart of the cards, it was the heart of the dice and the decision was in the hands of the dice gods now. Letting the die leave your hand you watched as it rolled on the table. You could feel the tension as everyone that sat around the table stared at it with the same intensity of a d20 death roll. Slowly the dice came to a stop and when it lay still you all leaned over the table to see the number on top.
Four.
A chorus of fucks and no rang out from most of you at the table as you realized this meant Kenny got to choose what you all were doing. The dice gods had turned their back on you and now you were dealing with the outcome.
"FUCK YEAH!" Kenny shouted as he jumped out of his seat excitedly "WE'RE SNEAKING INTO A CLUB AGAIN GANG!"
As Kenny began to take a victory lap around the kitchen table, Bren pointed down toward the die on the table as he scolded,
"That's it, you've failed me for the final time. You're going to dice jail."
As Bren shoved his dice back into the small drawstring bag and into his pocket again, the rest of the group sat back down, besides Lucas who had only chimed in once as he had been cooking the whole time. You all were slightly defeated but slowly came to accept the fact that the die rolled what it rolled and you just had to go with it.
"Okay fine, sure, whatever, we're sneaking into a club again." Addison mentioned "But might I remind that we don't even have clothes for that."
Looking at yourselves, you were reminded of the fact that you were all wearing the clothes you had on yesterday. Granted, you all could attempt to go home and get more clothes but that was risky and time-consuming. Both of which you weren't looking to do with the world ending so soon.
"We could go thrift shopping." Viktoria suggested
"Oooh thrifting!" Kenny exclaimed excitedly before adding "I need a new wardrobe, my current one isn't 'me' enough."
"I wouldn't mind doing that, I need more modern clothes anyway. Most of what I have is from the 60s." You added
"That dress doesn't look like it's from the 60s." Addison commented
"Well, I have it on loan from Sloane Hargreeves," You explained "aka Luther's girlfriend."
Still, by the stove, Lucas looked over his shoulder toward you and asked,
"If Luther becomes my dad, can she be my mom?"
"I don't see why not." You replied
"Hell yeah!" Lucas cheered before turning back to the stove
"Well if we have plans settled, then I guess we should head out." Dean stated
"Nuh-uh. Not without having some breakfast first!" Lucas replied as he finally turned away from the stove
You saw as he walked towards the table with a pan in hand. Placing it down on the table you saw a giant pan's worth of scrambled eggs sitting in front of you all. Like father, like son. Apparently, large portions of scrambled eggs were just built into the DNA of both Luther and Lucas. Honestly, it became more surprising how Lucas wasn't his son given the similarities. Nevertheless, none of you wanted to disappoint Lucas, given how hard he worked on making such a large pan, and so you grabbed some plates and forks from the kitchen before digging into the mountain of scrambled eggs.
It didn't take long for you all to feel either full or secretly disgusted by the amount of eggs you consumed. But with breakfast out of the way there was nothing else to do other than get your shoes on, grab the things you needed, and head out to the thrift store.
The drive wasn't a long one, but the city sure wasn't reminiscent of the one you had known. There were random items scattered all over the sidewalks and streets. Some businesses that you remembered to be popular were desolate and dark. Tow trucks could be seen on the roads pulling abandoned cars away and there were missing signs on every street corner. The people who were out and about either held flyers in their hands or looked around with unease as they walked. You couldn't blame them though, the world was in disarray and there was no explanation. Well, there was no explanation for them. For you and your friends, there was some comfort in the fact that you knew how and when it would end. There was no need to wonder what was going on because you already knew.
But still, you couldn't help but look at your friends for their reaction, but they had none. The boys were too occupied singing at the top of their lungs to How Far We've Come by Matchbox Twenty on the radio while the girls talked about the type of clothes they were hoping to find at the thrift store. None of them seemed to notice the world outside. They were all distracted by being with each other. You smiled a little before looking back out the window. You could only hope that you too would be able to become as distracted from the tragedy as they were.
As you arrived at the thrift store, you and your friends all exited Dean's car and walked to the entrance. This was your favorite of the local thrift stores to go to as all of you were always able to find something to take home when you came. You were slightly concerned that the place wasn't open given the lack of cars around, but with Lucas being able to open the front door with ease, it was maybe just a slow time for them. It was a Thursday at around 1 pm so probably not the busiest of times.
As you walked in with the rest of your friends you took a look around the place and noticed that it was filled to the brim with items. Clothes, furniture, books, music, movies. Anything and everything was there. Now that wasn't a surprise, all those items had been there the last time you came years ago. But it was the sheer volume of stuff that shocked you. The store itself wasn't large, but it also wasn't small either, so for it to be this full meant a lot of donations came their way, and you had some suspicions why. Nevertheless, you all started to make your way into the store. Addison quickly managed to grab both Lucas and Viktoria and drag them over to the women's clothing section, most likely to get their opinion on what she should wear. If she had four other hands she would've dragged the rest of the group with her too, but alas she only had two, and Lucas and Viktoria were the closest. Kenny and Bren slowly worked their way over to the media section leaving you and Dean near the front door. Glancing over at your brother, you wondered why he wasn't moving like the rest of the group and asked,
"You good?"
"Look over there." He mentioned tilting his head toward the corner of the store
You leaned forward slightly and peered around him to see what he saw. In the corner of the store were the cases by the cash register where jewelry or other valuable items were typically held. However, unlike normal, the cases were covered in cardboard with writing in Sharpie that read 'Broken glass. Do not remove.'
"The cases are broken." You stated
"It was probably a robbery." Dean suggested "Maybe we should look into it."
No, no, no. You weren't going to do this. It was not your responsibility to look into the petty crimes that were happening around the city. Sure, you all used to do so, and perhaps it may have been a bit of a pastime to "bring justice" to your hometown. But not now. As the black hole sucking up the earth progressed towards consuming time itself, things were going to get more chaotic. You had told Dean and the rest of your friends that you were not going to bother with saving the world anymore, you just wanted to have fun. And that included minor things like this. Was it a little selfish not to help? Maybe. But you weren't going to overextend yourself like you had before. You had 5 or 6 days left give or take and you were going to spend them how you wanted. This was better left to whatever was left of the police force in the city.
Even so, you saw the way that Dean looked at the broken cases and could feel the overwhelming sense of justice coming off him. But that was okay, you had a way to shut it down quickly.
"Pfft, you sound like Diego wanting to investigate." You mocked
Dean's head whipped toward you as a mix of shock and disgust resided on his face. How dare you compare him to that awful, uncool, stupid traitor, bad brother that he definitely never looked up to. He was nothing like him.
"Ha. Gotcha." You jabbed playfully
"That's not funny." He complained "I'm not like him."
"Oh, you're better?" You questioned sarcastically
"Uh yeah. I'm way better." Dean emphasized
You rolled your eyes at him and let out a little laugh. Whether he liked it or not he spent most of his formative years modeling himself after Diego and therefore had many similarities to him. Without Diego, he would've never taken up archery and perfected it to the extreme accuracy he had. You knew so given that he didn't do archery in this timeline before you made him remember you. But Dean was very ride-or-die when it came to you, especially after Diego and Eudora split. And if you were mad at Diego then he was going to be mad at Diego tenfold and there was nothing you could do about it. Except tease him of course. You had to get at least some entertainment out of his ego. Giving his shoulder a bit of a shove you picked up one of the reusable totes the shop kept by the door and began to walk over to where Bren and Kenny were.
"C'mon, you grump. Come look at shit with me." You teased
"I'm not a grump." Dean mumbled as he followed behind "You're just being mean to me."
Walking into the media section you looked around at all there was to offer. Shelves were lined with books, DVDs, and CDs while a line of crates were filled with records. You of course were only glancing over everything, but in a way, it felt nostalgic. You were surrounded by media you had lost to time by being stuck in the 60s and now here you were looking it over again. Slowly, you scanned the shelves hoping to find some stuff that you could watch, read, or listen to in the coming days. You knew that there wasn't much time left, and you probably couldn't do it all, but it was more so the memories from the first time you experienced them that you wanted to feel again. And if Five came back before you were all dead, and gave up on saving the world, then maybe you could share those things with him too. As you walked the DVD aisle with Dean, you ran a finger carefully over the back of each case making sure to read the titles correctly.
"Oh shit." Dean said aloud
You turned your head to look at him as he held some type of box set in his hands. Looking down at it he excitedly exclaimed,
"All four seasons of Big Time Rush on DVD?! Oh yeah, this is coming home with me."
"Nice find." You complimented as you opened the tote for him to place the set in
Continuing your search you pulled some DVDs off the shelves as well. Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Princess Bride, the complete Teen Titans series. But as you went along there were some more sentimental choices. You found a copy of the movie Cars and a DVD of the first Princess Diaries movie. You were genuinely pleased with your choices, recalling the good memories they had brought you, but right as you were about to turn the corner to go to the music section you were stopped by the sight of a very familiar superhero.
"Spider-Man." You whispered
As you took a closer look you realized it wasn't just Spider-Man. It was YOUR Spider-Man. Snatching the case off the shelf you looked at the cover intensely as you quickly read every word on the front,
"The Amazing Spider-Man Saga: Full Movie Set. Includes The Amazing Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and-"
You stopped.
It couldn't be.
This couldn't be real.
But the words were right there on the package.
"The. Amazing. Spider-Man. THREE?!" You slowly read aloud, emphasizing each word
Looking away from the DVD shelves, Dean looked at you and nonchalantly replied,
"Oh yeah, we got a third movie in this timeline."
"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THEY MADE A THIRD!" You yelled, genuinely appalled no one told you
"I don't think about Spider-Man the way you do so it didn't cross my mind." Dean replied shrugging his shoulders
"Unbelievable." You complained as you placed the box set into the tote bag
Walking around the corner away from the DVD aisle you ended up in the music section and saw Kenny and Bren browsing through the selection. Kenny stood looking through the shelves of CDs while Bren flipped through the boxes of records. This was always their strategy. One would look through the shelves of CDs for stuff either wanted while the other did the same with records. As you approached the pair you could hear Bren comment to Kenny,
"Damn, what teenager died and had all their shit donated?"
You winced for a moment at his comment. Whoever it was, all their things were now here in some thrift store. You couldn't imagine having your whole life, all the things you valued and cherished, just given away. Maybe it was because you had a tendency to cling to your sentimental items, but it just seemed wrong.
"I don't know. More stuff for us though." Kenny replied "Also I found Welcome To The Black Parade. Do have this one in this timeline?"
"I do. Try looking for Fall Out Boy, for some reason I didn't get their stuff this time." Bren replied "Also I found a Vance Joy record."
"Is it Dream Your Life Away?" Kenny asked
"Yeah." Bren stated
"Oh give me that one. That's my favorite and I don't have it this time around." Kenny eagerly replied
Your moment of pain subsided as you saw how happy the two of your friends were. You really needed to try and focus on being in the moment and not the overall picture. Every time you thought about the inevitability of the future it drove you a little mad and pulled you away from what mattered. Your friends. Deciding to walk over, you approached the pair and asked,
"Find any good stuff?"
"Yeah we've been finding some stuff we like," Bren answered "Speaking of good stuff though I found you some records."
"Oh really? What are they?" You asked intrigued
You watched as Bren pulled out two records from the small pile he had resting on top of one of the boxes next to him. Holding one up in each hand you recognized them immediately.
"Hozier!" You said excitedly "Holy shit, what a score."
Bren reached his hands out for you to take the records from him, which you did immediately. You had both of these albums in the first timeline, but they unfortunately got crushed when Viktor blew up the house. And then of course there was no time to go get new copies before the world ended and you ended up in the 60s. So to have both his self-titled album Hozier and Wasteland, Baby! was a major find. Looking up at Bren you pointed toward the Wasteland, Baby! album and asked,
"Didn't this one come out like a month ago? Why would someone get rid of it?"
"Maybe someone's uber-religious parents found out that Hozier's worship-sounding songs are about y'know- a different kind of worship." Dean commented from behind the group
You turned around to see Dean who seemed to have had a sour look on his face. He was so excited about finding the Big Time Rush box set only a few minutes ago that you wondered what could've brought his mood down so quickly. Nevertheless, you responded to his comment saying,
"Well, whatever the reason may be, they're mine now."
Dean nodded his head slightly before Bren turned his attention away from the records toward him and questioned,
"So where have you been?"
"In the DVD section looking for the Big Time Rush movie." Dean answered
"Did you find it?" Kenny inquired
"No. All I found was the One Direction movie..." Dean complained, annoyance and disappointment evident in his tone
Walking over to Dean, Kenny gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and opened to say something, but before any words could get out you could hear Addison's voice call out,
"What are you guys doing?"
Down the aisle of CDs and record crates, she stood there with a pile of clothing in her arms. Lucas and Viktoria stood close behind her with their own smaller piles of clothes in their arms as well. The three of them looked at you with confused looks as the other four of you looked back with confused looks of your own. There was a silence between the two confused groups before Addison reminded,
"We are here to get clothes for someone's idea of what a birthday party is. So maybe the people who don't have fabric in their hands should go and get some."
"A please would be nice." Dean remarked
"Go." Addison emphasized "Now."
There was a moment where you all tried to resist the convincing nature in which she said 'now', but like all other times she had pulled her weird mental manipulation it did not work and you all were convinced to go.
"Fine." Dean replied as he walked towards the men's section
Looking between Bren and Kenny, you gave them a shrug before putting the records Bren had found you into the tote and walking off to the women's section. Like you had mentioned at breakfast, besides an outfit to go out tonight, you needed to find some new clothes. Your clothes from the sixties were a few decades outdated and although you looked good in the clothes Sloane had lent you, you wanted your old closet back. You didn't need a lot of clothes, just enough to get you to the end of the world, but if the Hargreeves somehow managed to finally stop the apocalypse, then you'd probably come back for more. But that wasn't likely given that they'd have to stop a literal blackhole and their track record of working together wasn't great.
But that wasn't your problem!
As you searched the aisles you started to pick out items that resembled the style of clothing you used to wear and to be honest, it was quite comforting. It was like regaining a piece of yourself that you knew you couldn't be in the 60s. Of course, you were able to be a bit more of yourself when it was just you and Charlie, but it was still a whole different world than what you had grown up used to. When you were stuck in the 60s you needed to blend in as best as you could. You couldn't risk having the people around you find out the truth, so you had to hide a lot of who you were to keep yourself safe. Back in the present though, that wasn't the case. You were you, the you that you knew yourself to be, and these clothes were one step in the right direction to get back to that place fully. It didn't take all too long for you to find enough outfits to last you til the end of time, but right as you were about to start searching for what to wear tonight, Addison quickly approached you. You looked at her waiting for her to say something but instead, without a word, she grabbed onto your wrist and dragged you behind her.
"Addison, where are we going?" You asked confused
"I found something you need to try on." Addison emphasized
With her response and the direction in which you were being dragged, you could tell that she was taking you toward the dressing rooms of the shop. Addison on previous shopping trips had presented you with things she wanted you to try on, but never had she been so adamant that you NEEDED to try something. Her insistence concerned you a bit.
"Need?" You questioned aloud
Before she could respond to your statement though, the two of you stopped as you saw Kenny and Bren step out of some dressing rooms in highly contrasting outfits. Kenny was sporting an outfit that consisted completely of neon green articles of clothing. He had on a neon green mesh tank top, a neon green leather vest, neon green pants, and somehow both neon green bedazzled boots and a neon green bedazzled cowboy hat. How he found that much neon green to create the brightest, gaudiest outfit known to man was honestly impressive. Bren on the other hand went in the complete opposite direction sporting all-black attire. A black hooded leather jacket, plain black t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and his own black Converse. The two boys took a look at each other's outfits for a moment, to see what each other considered the perfect outfit.
"Dude, you look like a rave cowboy and a traffic cone had a baby." Bren commented
"Thank you, Prince of Darkness, that's what I was going for." Kenny replied
Bren smirked a little at the nickname. Of course, the little punk enthusiast of the group would enjoy being deemed the Prince of Darkness. Stepping around Bren, Kenny looked at the mirror on the wall outside of the dressing rooms admiring his striking outfit, but as he did so he could see you and Addison standing behind.
"Oh do one of you need a dressing room?" Kenny asked
"No, I'm good. I found the prettiest sparkly jumpsuit from the bridal section over there," Addison explained before adding "But she needs one."
"I'm not your personal Barbie doll, Addison." You interjected "If you want to play dress-up with someone why don't you grab your Ken doll of a boyfriend?"
"Because I'm done playing dress up with him. Lucas is going to wear an open, tan, short-sleeve button-up, with a white t-shirt underneath, and a nice pair of black, seven-inch inseam shorts with some white sneakers. He even got aviator glasses as an accessory," Addison explained "You however have no outfit."
At this point she was just being ridiculous about this whole thing. What was so important about this outfit anyway? Why was she practically dying over getting you to try it on? Trying to explain yourself, you began to reply,
"Well if you gave me the opportunity to pick-"
But you were quickly cut off.
"Will you just shush. I know what I'm doing," Addison interrupted before putting a ball of fabric in your hands and pushing you into a dressing room "Now put this on."
"But-" You tried to protest
"Put it on," Addison commanded "NOW."
You stared each other down as her command seeped into the farthest recesses of your brain. You didn't want to do what she said but something within you felt compelled to do so. You hated when she did this and how easily she would win. But the only way the feeling would subside is if you gave in. So you did, and relented,
"Fine."
Grabbing onto the clothing item she had put in your arms, you stepped back into the dressing room more and closed the curtain. Placing the tote bag from over your shoulder on the ground, you finally undid the ball of fabric in your arms to see what it was that Addison was so insistent you try on. Once the clothing item was fully unfolded, you held it up in front of you as you took a look at what it was.
"Oh no." You said aloud
"Oh yes!" Addison said excitedly from the other side of the curtain
The item that you held in your hands, the one your friend was so dead set on you wearing, was none other than a little black dress. Nevertheless, you said you would try it on and so you did. Slipping off the white dress Sloane had lent you to wear, you now put on the black one Addison insisted you try. As you suspected from looking at it, the fabric hugged tightly against your figure, but not in a way that was uncomfortable. Quite the opposite, the dress felt natural on you, like a second skin against your own. You also were a bit surprised with how supportive the dress was given the thinness of the spaghetti straps it had. Addison and you typically had different tastes, but this selection you kind of liked.
As much as you were beginning to like it though, you weren't fully sure of how it looked on you as there was no mirror in the dressing room. And how it looked was almost as important as how it felt. Therefore, the only way you were going to get the full scope of the dress was if you left the dressing room to use the mirror right outside. But that also meant you were going to get the full scope of your friends opinions on it too and your friends could be...unfiltered. You really didn't have a choice though if you wanted to see the dress in full and so after a moment of working up the courage you opened the curtain and stepped out.
Before you could say anything about the dress, you were immediately hit with the reactions of your friends. Kenny whistled that recognizable whistle to signify someone looked good towards you, while your other friends let the intrusive thoughts win when it came to their compliments.
"Damn (Y/N), if I wasn't straight nor your friend I'd ask you out." Addison mentioned
"Y'know what? I get why my ex-girlfriend was jealous of you now." Bren commented
"Nice tits!" Viktoria stated excitedly
You stared at them in disbelief. Why in the world did you choose these people to be your friends? Oh right, you didn't. They chose you and you loved them for it no matter how ridiculous they were.
"Thank you." You replied flatly as you playfully rolled your eyes
Walking past your friends, you stood in front of the mirror outside the dressing rooms and actually took a look at yourself, and honestly...
You looked hot.
Just as nicely as the dress felt, it looked even better on you. The fabric hugged you in all the right places, accentuating your figure in the best way. The hem of the dress went to right below your knee but the slit on the left side exposed your leg up to your mid-thigh. And although you would not acknowledge it verbally, Viktoria's comment was spot on. It was a really good dress on you. But there was one criticism you had with it.
"It's nice but I just don't feel like this is something I'd wear to a club..." You mentioned, turning to look at your friends, but specifically Addison "Don't get me wrong, it's really nice, but personally, I wouldn't pick it for a night out with friends."
You stood by the mirror waiting for Addison to protest your criticism but were surprised when instead she replied,
"You know what? You're right."
"I am?" You questioned
You were surprised by her admitting fault so easily. Granted, you were right about a lot of things a lot of the time, but you thought she would've at least tried to argue with you on it a little more given she was so adamant about this dress. However, the smirk on her face made you think that she still had some thoughts about it.
"Yeah. You're right, it's not something you'd wear on a night out," Addison explained before suggesting "But it would be perfect for a night in with Five."
Your jaw dropped slightly in disbelief. The audacity of this bitch. Of course, you meant that with love, but her desire to try and "assist" in other people's relationships was a flaw that she was continuously oblivious to. You knew this idea in her head was coming from a place of care. She just wanted you to be happy, but the ins and outs of your relationship were not something she needed to have a hand in.
"Oh my god. This was a ploy to play wingwoman?" You confoundedly stated before gesturing around "Like bestie- he's not even here."
"He'll be back." Kenny affirmed
"Oh yeah? How do you know?" You pressed
"Those bruises might've healed already, but his name was on your neck." Kenny elaborated "That's the work of a man who's coming back to finish what he started."
Turning your face towards the floor to hide it, you could feel a heat rise to your cheeks at the comment. And while he was correct in the fact that the marks on your neck from the night before had healed by this point, that didn't stop you from bringing your hands up to cover the sides of your neck. You weren't typically one to get flustered, but between trying to suppress thoughts about your boyfriend and the slight embarrassment at your inexperience in relationships you couldn't help but try to hide your reaction. All those years of teasing or making comments about your friends' relationships had finally come to bite you in the ass.
"Listen- while appreciate your attempt to- I guess- get me laid before the world ends-" You stuttered flustered before remarking "I can handle my own relationship without intervention from you all, thank you very much."
"Can you?" Bren asked
"Yes! I can!" You exclaimed just a little louder than speaking volume
The group stared at you with playful smirks on their faces as you walked over toward the dressing room you were just in and proclaimed,
"Now, I am going back into this dressing room and I am taking the dress off and actually finding something I want to wear tonight."
"But you're still gonna get the dress, right?" Addison asked
"No." You responded flatly trying to end the discussion
"But you have to!" Viktoria remarked
"(Y/N) pleaseeeeee," Addison begged
You closed your eyes and scrunched your face as you tried to get your thoughts and feelings in check. Why did your existence have to be so overwhelming in a variety of ways? Letting out a sigh, you replied,
"I'm still not wearing it tonight, but if I buy it will you all stop complaining?"
With wide smiles and collective nods of your friends' heads, you relented,
"Fineeeee,"
"Thank god you said yes," Kenny mentioned "My next threat was that I was gonna wear it and seduce your brother."
"Uh, no thanks." Dean replied as he walked up behind the group "If I were to date a dude you would not be on my list of choices."
"I meant her older brother," Kenny corrected before adding "You'd be lucky to get me."
"You're not my type!" Dean retorted "Also, you think sleeping with her older brother is a threat? That's a shame my guy. Have some self-respect. You're better than that."
See as you didn't want to be a part of this conversation nor the conversation that led up to this point anymore, you stepped back into the dressing room and as you closed the curtain you stated,
"Okay. I'm done. I'm going now. Goodbye."
With the curtain fully closed you slipped out of the dress you were tricked into and back into the one you were wearing before. Placing the black dress in your tote bag of stuff, you were still a little annoyed and flustered, but you couldn't be fully mad. It was a really good dress on you. But you still had no clue what type of event in the foreseeable future it would even make sense to wear it to. With your original clothes back on and all your stuff in your tote bag, you exited the dressing room and walked back over to the women's section to try and find something you actually would want to wear tonight. Something casual but also good enough to party in since Kenny had decided that's what you were doing. After a bit of searching you had managed to find a cute floral two-piece set to wear. The set was a warm cream color with a pattern of green tropical leaves and white flowers across both the short-sleeved blouse and shorts. As you placed the set into the tote bag, you could see Dean approaching.
"You find something for tonight?" He asked
"Yeah, I think this'll do." You replied gesturing to the set you had just placed in the bag "I'm going to head up to check out though."
"Okay. I think I'm going to try and see if I can find a pair of shoes to go with what I picked out." Dean replied holding up his clothes
In his hands were a pair of black dress pants and a silky, short-sleeve, maroon, button-up with a subtle rose pattern on it. The outfit he wore to prom was similar, but of course that had a suit jacket and a tie to it as well.
"I'll meet you up there soon." Dean added
"Alright, cool." You replied as you turned around and walked to the register
As you turned the corner and stepped out of the aisle, you caught view of the register by the broken glass cases. There was someone standing there talking to the employee behind the register. At first, you assumed that it was just another customer and so you stood off to the side waiting for them to go, but as you took the time to focus on the other person, it was as if time stopped. You recognized that voice. You recognized that face. You knew who that person in front of you was.
Eudora.
It had been years since you had seen her alive. And yet here she was, or at least a version of her was, living and breathing just as much as any other person. You could feel yourself becoming overwhelmed at all the emotions that were building up inside you. Disbelief. Joy. Confusion. Grief. Your brain felt overloaded and your body reacted as such. Tears built in your eyes that you tried your best to blink away. You balled your hands into fists to prevent them from shaking, but it only made the shaking more evident. The feeling in your chest went back and forth between clenching and feeling like it was about to explode.
And then she looked over at you. There was no semblance of recognition on her face. She didn't know who you were. But you knew her and you recognized the look of worry that she had. She turned to look at the cashier for a moment before turning back toward you and walking your way. You were still stuck in place, unable to move. She at you with such concern in her eyes as she spoke,
"Hi, I'm Detective Patch. I work with the city's police department. Are you okay? Do you need help?"
You looked at her. Really looked at her. It felt unreal to see her.
"It's you..." You whispered
"Huh?" She replied curiously
Why did you say that? What were you thinking? She doesn't know you. To her you look like some young girl on the brink of crying. You can only imagine what scenarios she thinks are going on right now, all of which would probably sound insanely more probable than the truth. You needed to pull yourself together.
"I'm sorry...you just look exactly like someone I know-" You said before correcting "Someone I knew."
"Knew?" She asked
"They- they passed away four years ago..." You replied quietly
You looked at her with tears ready to fall from your eyes. You never saw what had happened. Diego never mentioned it and you knew he would've never told you even if you asked. But the pain and the loss was still there. And while you had done some of your grieving in the 60s, this whole mess with Diego and Lila cut open that wound and filled it with salt. It hurt.
"Oh no. I'm so sorry." Eudora spoke before softly asking "Do you want a hug?"
And with those five words, the tears began to fall heavily from your eyes. Dropping your bag to the ground, you rushed to her and wrapped your arms tightly around her waist. You fought against your feelings as you tried to hold your cries in but it only helped to exacerbate the sobs. God how embarrassing it was to be physically and audibly sobbing in the middle of a thrift shop holding on to someone who just met you. But nothing in you was allowing you to let go. You felt as Eudora froze for a moment when you first hugged her, but quickly after she wrapped her arms around you too. As she held you, one of her hands ran gently through your hair as she attempted to soothe you. It felt the exact same as when she used to comfort you and as she held you, you let yourself believe this was your version.
"It's not fair..." You cried "I- I didn't even get to say g-goodbye..."
"No, that's not fair." Eudora comforted "You shouldn't have had to go through that, especially so young."
It felt so relieving to hear her tell you that you shouldn't have gone through what you went through. To have her agree that it was unfair and painful. You had so many things you wished you could've said to her. So many things that your Eudora would never get to hear. But perhaps this one could. Pulling yourself together as best as you could, you took a step back and looked at her.
"I- I know this m-might sound awkward b-but can I-" You stuttered out "Can I say goodbye to you?"
"Sure," She replied gently "Go ahead."
You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths as you tried to fully calm yourself. And when you felt ready enough you opened your eyes and spoke,
"You were an amazing woman and I miss you so much everyday. I miss the way you'd smile at me when you were proud and I miss the way you would get annoyed when I'd try to eat ice cream before dinner."
As the memories came back though, your composure started to fail. The choking feeling in your throat started to return as did the tears in your eyes. You tried to push through the feelings as you continued,
"I miss seeing you in the crowd of all my achievements a-and the way you'd hold me when I was sad or scared. You helped raise me into the person I've become and it h-hurts to know that I never got a chance to thank you for that."
It was too much though and your once confident voice was again reduced to sobbing stutters as you finished,
"I-I-I love you so much...I will n-never stop loving you and I swear I-I will never ever forget you."
Eudora smiled at you. Gently, she pushed some hair that had fallen in your face behind your ear before wiping some of your tears away. Looking you in the eyes, she comfortingly stated,
"You seem like a lovely young woman and I'm sure that she loves you just as much and is so proud of you."
"I can only hope so." You replied quietly
"I know so." She responded
You moved in to hug her once more. She was proud and she loved you. Even if she didn't realize the impact of what she had just said, it still meant so much to hear. You tried to pull yourself together, but it was so hard. You just loved her so much.
"Things are going to be, okay." She soothed "You're going to be okay."
It took a moment but you managed to calm yourself down. Stepping away was difficult but you couldn't hold on forever. She was Eudora but she wasn't yours. You couldn't keep her.
"Thank you." You sincerely stated
"If I only do one good thing today, then I'm glad that it could be to help you." She said with a smile before her face dropped slightly "But unfortunately, I need to go get back to work, there's a lot of trouble going on around this city."
"Yeah, I understand..." You quietly replied
"I know it's a bit of an ask, but you do think you can try and have a good rest of your day?" She questioned "For her and for me. I'm sure that neither of us would want you to be sad."
"I can try." You replied, trying to put on a brave face
"Good." She replied with a smile "Take care of yourself, okay?"
You couldn't find the strength to speak so instead you opted to nod your head at her. She smiled once more at you although there was a tinge of sadness in her eyes. Giving you a nod back she said,
"Bye sweetie."
And with that, you watched her walk away and out the front door of the building. She was gone, and there was a very high chance that was the last time you'd ever see her in person. At least she seemed happy.
"Goodbye Eudora..." You quietly replied
You looked down at your hand and the item that was now in it. It was Eudora's detective ID. Was it wrong that you took it? Sure, but she had misplaced it so many times in the first timeline that you knew she would never think you took it. And if you couldn't get your Eudora back, you at least wanted something of her to remember her by. Her ID had a photo of her and just like in the original timeline, she had a smile on her face. She wasn't really supposed to smile in the picture but she was so happy that she had made detective that it was impossible for her to take one without it. It wasn't the same as having her, but it would suffice. You let out a sigh as you turned around and went back to pick up your tote bag. But as you looked at the space behind you, you could see all your friends standing there. They held their items in their hands, but there were sad and concerned looks upon all their faces. The group looked at Dean, who then stepped forward and began to ask,
"Are you-?"
You put your hand up to stop him. He and the rest of your friends already knew the answer and this store was not the place to talk about it.
"Later." You stated flatly "Let's just pay and get out of here."
Dean looked at you for a moment before looking back at the rest of the group. They looked between each other concern still on their faces, but none of them was going to be the one to press the issue right now. If you said later, then the answer was later. The group gave Dean small, cautious nods. Turning back to look at you, he quietly replied,
"Okay."
The seven of you quietly went up to the cash register and paid for all of your items before leaving the store and getting back in the car. There were still a lot of hours in the day before the club would even be open, and so for now you all drove around in the car figuring out what to do next.
As you were carrying on with your day, Five was carrying on with his investigation to find the emergency bunker and this mysterious founder. For the past hour, he and Lila had been going through the entire building trying to find where the bunker could be. And with each passing minute, Five grew more and more annoyed with the situation. Besides having trouble locating where he was supposed to go, he was also subjected to the ramblings of the mad woman he was stuck with currently. Lila would announce whatever thought popped into her mind without thinking it through or caring about what it was she was saying. And because of that, Five had been subjected to a rant of how her back hurts, her thoughts on poultry farming, her craving for scrambled eggs, and a vivid description of his brother's performance in the bedroom. He felt like he was beginning to hit new lows in his life, which was surprising given how many lows he had experienced thus far.
In an attempt to ignore her, Five handed the briefcase over to her as he reopened the master handbook looking for more information on how to deal with an issue like the one they were facing. However, as he flipped through the pages there was nothing to be found. Continuously, he searched the book for anything but all he came up with was nothing. Five's pace quickened as a surge of frustrated anger welled within him. And as the pair rounded a corner and headed up the stairs Five burst out complaining,
"This is just like a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit. There's no clear directives in here about crisis management!"
Harshly closing the book Five looked around at where he was. The fucking commission. He wanted to distance himself from this place and his work here. He was supposed to retire. Doing what he did back in the 60s was supposed to be the end of it all. He thought he was free but look at him now. Right back where he started.
"You know, Lila, I shouldn't even be here. I was- I was out. I was done. And yet here I am, swept back into the chaos!" Five ranted angrily as he scratched the back of his neck "Why can't I just escape this hellhole?"
"Because you love it." Lila replied flatly
Making it to the top of the stairs, Five walked through the nearby doorway into the planetarium sector of the commission building. But as he turned back to address Lila's inaccurate remark he let out some unexpected gas. Forgetting what he was going to say and feeling slightly embarrassed all Five could come up with was,
"My bad."
Turning away, Five began to walk across the room scratching vigorously at the back of his neck once more. God, why did his neck itch so much? Had some of the debris that nearly fell on him have materials that caused irritation in them? Was the material of his shirt not comfortable and he didn't notice until now? Whatever it was he was going to keep scratching as with many of his other problems he wanted it to go away.
"Face it, Five, apocalypse problems are the only things that get your heart pumping." Lila remarked from behind him
That wasn't true. The only reason he got so worked up over apocalypses is because of the real thing that got his heart pumping. You. God forbid he'd want to keep you safe. Was it so difficult to understand that he did not want to be dealing with an apocalypse? That he was only doing this to protect the people he loved? That if he had a choice this is the last thing he'd want to do? It didn't make sense why most people thought he wanted this. Who would actively want the world to end? What he wanted was to do normal couple things with you and perhaps find a way to circumvent Klaus' continuous untimely intrusions.
"I don't know why people keep saying that. I don't actually like chaos. I don't want disorder." Five ranted before adding more softly "I... I want retirement. I want to be with (Y/N) and everything keeps getting in the way of that."
Lila rolled her eyes at the response. From what she knew of him, he had spent his entire life trying to solve and fight the apocalypse. He was the best agent during his time at the commission and he had dedicated all of his time during the past two catastrophes to fighting what was originally deemed to be the inevitable. And he was saying he wanted to retire? Bullshit. Five Hargreeves was not the type of person who would actually enjoy the day-to-day of civilian life.
"Yeah, right. A normal life of groceries and taxes? You would die of boredom." Lila scoffed
"I wouldn't." Five responded as he continued walking, "Not with her."
Lila didn't get it. For some reason, Five thought he could honestly give up the fast life for what? A 'happily ever after' with you? It seemed ridiculous. You were annoying, a smart-ass, rude, and a little sadistic. And he wanted a life with that? Sure he was a little bit of all of those things too but it was impossible to tell what he saw in you.
"What's so special about her anyway?" Lila questioned condescendingly
Five stopped walking as he heard the question come from Lila. Her tone was filled with copious amounts of judgment. It was as if the snark lingered in the air. Five didn't want to deal with many things right now, but snidely belittling his girlfriend shot its way to the top of his list. Turning to face her, his eyes narrowed on her as he firmly stated,
"You know Lila, I'm so tired of your attitude toward my girlfriend who you don't know."
"I think I know enough." Lila remarked
Five did not have a lot of patience for Lila to begin with but, throughout this whole endeavor, since they worked on the briefcase back at the hotel, she had been wearing down what he had left more and more. And this right here was the final straw. She could make her little comments about him, his motives, his past, and his family. But not you. Absolutely not you.
"You may like to think you know her, but you don't. You don't know her the way I know her. You don't know her the way Diego knows her. And you don't know her the way the rest of my family knows her." Five ranted "She was in our lives first. YOU are the outsider."
Lila's face contorted into a frown. So what did it matter if you came into their lives first? That meant nothing to her. It's not like she wanted to be part of the same group as you or anything.
"Pfft I don't want to be part of your weird family circle-jerk anyway." Lila scoffed "Like what's that even supposed to mean?"
"What that means is that you have no right to be condescending about her because you don't share history with my family like she does, okay? (Y/N) has a heart of gold. All she does is care for others. My siblings and I could be far worse than the dysfunctional mess we already are but were aren't because she came out of nowhere and changed the course of our lives." Five snapped back
Five rolled his shoulders back trying to reel in his demeanor before looking at Lila pointedly.
"For the better, might I add," Five continued "Something I can't quite say the same of you."
Lila crossed he arms over her chest and rolled her eyes at Five. What a brat he was. If he was trying to hit her where it hurt well...it wasn't working. It wasn't working at all and she was completely unfazed. She didn't care about you or Diego or the rest of the family AT ALL. And nothing Five was saying was going to change her mind.
"If this is your way of trying to get me to apologize or whatever, I'm not going to." Lila mentioned
"I don't want your apology, Lila. I want to be back home with (Y/N)." Five replied his annoyance growing again "She's kind, and smart and strong, and beautiful, and even after every one of my screwups, she still manages to love me."
"So? Who cares?" Lila replied
"I CARE!" Five shouted
Five's hand ran through his hair frustratedly as he began to pace back and forth. All of the feelings that he tried to keep below the surface so he could focus on the world began to bubble up and boil over. He hated all of this. This was not the life he wanted to live when he made the decision to jump to 2019 and stop the first apocalypse. He was fortunate enough to return to a young adult version of himself but he couldn't even do anything worth wild with it because he kept being dragged away. He couldn't stand it. It drove him crazy. Turning to face like Five began to rant,
"Can't you see I don't want to be here with you? I don't want to be here at all! I want to be with HER. I want to be able to love HER! She is the one and only reason I'm here trying to save the world, with YOU no less, because if she's not in it- if I-"
Five stopped. His face dropped as his thoughts changed from the anger of not getting to be with you to the fear and sadness of losing you. His eyes became glazed over as he looked off into the distance. The sound of you screaming in pain and the image of your lifeless body in his arms flashed across his mind causing him to visibly wince. He shut his eyes trying to shut the image and sound out but it was burned in there as a reminder of what happens when he fails.
Lila saw the change in Five's demeanor. She had never seen him this helpless. It confused her a little. He was always so stand-offish and acted like a know-it-all that she didn't even think it was in him to be vulnerable like this. Everyone had a weakness though and just like Diego was hers, you were Five's. She honestly felt a little bad for the guy. Not a lot but enough for her to approach him and try to grab his attention calling,
"Five?"
"If I lose her again..." He said, his voice strained and his eyes not meeting Lila's gaze "Then there's nothing in the world worth saving."
Lila's head cocked to the side. She heard what he had said but she was unsure if she was hearing him right.
"What are you saying?" Lila asked
"I'm saying I can't live without her again. No. I refuse to live without her." Five replied finally meeting her gaze "You wanted to know why she's so special Lila? It's because she is the only thing keeping me going. If I don't have my world, then there is no reason for there to be a world."
"What? You'd just let the world end if something happened to her?" Lila asked, slight concern in her tone
Five however didn't acknowledge the concern only the question. And that question had only one correct answer. The pain in his face washed away as a stoic expression took its place. Five's composure returned after his brief moment of weakness and in a steady tone, Five stated,
"Lila, I'd end it myself."
Lila silently blinked at him a few times. She definitely had heard him right the first time but the way he responded the second time sent a chill down her spine. She knew he meant what he said and she could see in his eyes the way he would scorch the earth if something happened to you. She didn't have to like you but it was in the best interest of both her and the rest of the world to make sure you stayed alive.
"But I don't know if you'd understand that because you're not exactly cut out for domestic bliss." Five said before turning around and walking towards the door on the opposite side of the room
Lila watched as he walked away before realizing what he had said. For a moment a sharp pain shot through her but quickly she pushed past it. Domestic bliss sounded so boring. Where was the fun in that? It was overrated and boring and the thought of it definitely made her want to puke.
"Course I'm bloody not. Thank God!" Lila shouted behind him
Following Five through the door, the two of them walked down a set of stairs into a dark hallway. Tipped-over filing cabinets and broken furniture littered the hall as they maneuvered their way around.
"I mean, maybe it's a tone thing? I don't know, but you could really work on, like, the way you speak. It's very... It's irritating." Lila commented as she followed behind "I'm just saying it's something you can work on, you know? For the future."
Five was not listening though as he spotted what they had come for up ahead. A sign that read Operations Bunker. A slight smile came to his face as he read it. He was getting closer to an answer. He was getting closer to fixing this and saving you. Noticing his smile, Lila asked,
"Why are you smiling, you little pisspot?"
"Cause of that." Five said gesturing to the sign
"Well, you could have led with that," Lila replied
The two of them looked at each other briefly before heading down the hall towards the door leading to where their answers may lie.
You and your friends however were on your way to sneak into one of the local clubs. After the incident you had in the thrift store, you all had driven around for a bit before deciding to go bowling at Super Star Lanes. It was of course a little odd being in the same place that you had last said goodbye to your friends before the world ended, but it also felt somewhat like a neutral ground. With some overpriced fries and lukewarm cans of soda, you finally let your friends comfort you from what had happened before as you all took turns bowling. Dean of course was in the lead, because he always was, but even so, you managed to have a nice time. Eudora asked you to have a good day and you were going to do so. Once, you had finished bowling and Dean inevitably won, you all hopped back in the car and headed back to Kenny's house to get ready.
All the clothes from the thrift store that could be thrown in the washer and dryer were, and for the ones that couldn't you used your powers to try and remove some of the grime that was probably in the fabric. When the washed clothes were dry though, you and the rest of your friends took to different rooms in the house to change into your outfits. As you stepped out of the guest room in the outfit you had picked from before, you saw Viktoria step out of the bathroom at the same time. She wore a flowy, long-sleeve, light blue blouse with a matching pair of flowy, light blue pants.
"Aw you look cute!" You complimented
"You do too!" she replied
Together the two of you walked downstairs to find everyone but Kenny waiting around. As you approached the group though, you took notice of the fact that Dean made the decision to keep the top 3 buttons of his shirt unbuttoned.
"What happened? Did you not pay for the rest of the buttons?" Viktoria asked sarcastically
"Ha-ha. You're so funny." Dean replied unamused "For your information, I happen to look good like this."
"Oh yeah," Viktoria stated sarcastically once more "I'm sure some lovely girl with parental issues will adore the distinct lack of chest hair."
Placing his hand over his chest, Dean looks shocked at her comment and looks to you for some backup, but instead, you turned your attention toward Bren and asked,
"Where's Kenny?"
"I don't know. Probably getting ready still." Bren answered, shrugging his shoulders "I'm his best friend, not his keeper."
"Are you sure about that?" You retorted
Bren looked at you before letting out a small sigh. He knew you were at least a little bit right. If he didn't keep track of Kenny then no one would. At least not to the same extent that is.
"I'll go get him." Bren stated as he walked back upstairs
From upstairs, you could hear Bren bang on a door and then say some words that you couldn't quite make out. However, whatever he said seemed to work as not even a minute later him and Kenny came back down the stairs. With the whole group together and ready to go, you headed out of Kenny's house and drive over to the club that you had snuck into back on Kenny's 16th birthday.
While the club wasn't in a bad part of the city, across the street and a few buildings over there was a very questionable bar nearby. The patrons there didn't take too kindly to anyone who wasn't white and the only reason you knew about it was that on occasion Diego would walk himself in there just to pick a fight with people. You wondered if Diego would head there again in this timeline, although you doubted it given he seemed so preoccupied with watching his "child". However, that didn't matter. You had no intention of worrying about Diego because it seemed he was having trouble worrying about you.
As you put your thoughts aside, Dean had finally stopped and parked the car on the street behind the club. Taking one quick look back at Kenny, you asked,
"You're sure this is what you want?"
"Yes." he answered confidently "My 16th birthday was the second most exciting day of my life. I want to relieve it."
"What was the first then?" Addison questioned
"My 18th birthday. I got to meet Klaus Hargreeves and we got shot at by time mercenaries. Very exciting." Kenny answered proudly
"Okay." You interjected "Let's just go before this conversation continues."
The rest of the group nodded their heads in agreement as you all stepped out of the car. The sound of pounding music could faintly be heard as you made your way to the back of the building. Up high on the wall, you all could see two small, rectangular, frosted glass windows. Although it was a while ago, you still could recognize these as the useless windows that were in the bathrooms of the club. The one on the left was shut, while the one on the right was open, and from inside it you could hear the sound of a few girl's voices seemingly giving someone a pep talk. You waited for a moment to hear the door open and shut before turning to your friends and quietly stating,
"We're going to do what we did last time. I'm going to check to see if the girl's bathroom is empty if it is. I will pull Viktoria, Addison, and Kenny through. Viktoria and Addison will go get us some booth or seating while Kenny is going to go into the men's bathroom and check if that is empty. If it's empty he's gonna jump and slap the window and I'll do the same thing for Dean, Lucas, and Bren. Then I show up and we're all together, got it?"
There was a cacophony of affirmations and head nods at your instructions.
"Good." You said before turning invisible and walking through the wall
Taking a look around the women's bathroom there was no one in the main area nor could you see any shoes on the floor inside the stalls. Seeing that the coast was clear you made yourself visible and stuck your arm through the bathroom wall you came through. You could feel as someone grabbed your hand and with a firm hold on them you pulled them through the way. Viktoria was the first to come through and after repeating the process twice both Addison and Kenny came in as well. You watched as the three of them walked out of the bathroom and with the door shut you went back outside the hang with the other three boys. It took a few minutes, but finally, the sound of Kenny's hand slapping the glass window came. And so one by one, you pushed the last three boys through the wall of the men's room.
With everyone else inside, you went invisible once more as walked through the wall into the women's bathroom. Instead of immediately becoming visible though, you walked through the bathroom door and over to the bar. Looking around you spotted the table where your friends sat and with the knowledge of where they were, you walked behind the bar and began to sneakily transport a few bottles of the high-shelf alcohol over. No one even knew you were there as you placed your hand on your choices and quickly made the bottles invisible. And after doing the same to a few glasses you floated them all over behind you before making them reappear on the table. While most would not consider it a point of pride, your ability to steal was beyond compare.
Your friends were slightly shocked at seeing the drinks appear but not surprised and within a few seconds of the drinks reappearing, so did you. Sitting down with the rest of your group, you began to let the drinks flow. Dean restrained from having too much to drink as he was the designated driver and he encouraged everyone to drink water like he was. And while most of the others relatively listened to his request, you felt less inclined to do so. You had a lot of up and down moments today and you wanted to take your mind off of them. And with each drink you consumed the more go with the flow you became. You were fine and it was just some harmless fun. You dragged your friends to the dance floor and as the music you loved and missed in the 60s played you were having the best time. The bass from the blasting music pounded through your system and for the first time since you found out that the world was ending, you felt good. You had your friends and you were having fun and all the drinks you were consuming were free. Time didn't matter and things literally couldn't be better.
As you continued to party though, things began to get a little fuzzy for you. You were aware of your surroundings, but things also became a little hazy. Maybe you were just tired from dancing. Deciding to take a seat for a bit, you started to walk back toward your group's table, but as you made it off the dance floor you could see a guy and girl off to the side. The guy was uncomfortably close, trying to offer her a drink while she continuously pushed it back. This couldn't be good. Turning on your heel, you walked over to the pair, putting yourself in between the two as you looked back at the girl and asked,
"Are you okay? Do you know this guy?"
"No. He's been following me for the past 20 minutes." The girl replied nervously "I've been trying to leave but he keeps following."
"Okay. You see the girl in the really sparkly jumpsuit and the guy that looks like a traffic cone over there," You say gesturing to the other side of the dance floor "Those are my friends and they can help you. I will deal with this creep."
The girl looked across the floor towards where Kenny and Addison stood before looking back at you. She hesitated for a moment, but as she did so the creepy guy grabbed at her wrist and tried to pull her toward him. And with that action, one of the "side effects" of your immense intoxication kicked in. When you got drunk, your impulse control typically lowered with each drink and right now it was at an all-time low. Without a second to think about it, you decked the guy right in his throat causing him to let go of the girl's wrist. You watched as she fled off across the place toward your friends but you had no intention to follow.
Instead, you turned back to the guy who was now doubled over and gasping for air and decided that one punch wasn't enough. There was no signal in your brain or body that this was a bad decision to make, but as so you turned away from making sure the girl got to your friends and back to him, he swung a fist up at you, upper-cutting your jaw.
You let your head lean back for a second as you could feel the impact still vibrating through your head and the taste of blood in your mouth from biting your cheek. Even if you weren't looking at him you could sense the smugness that seemed to radiate off of this guy. With your head still tilted back you began to laugh at the guy. He picked the wrong girl to fuck with and you were going to wipe his smugness away.
"What are you laughing at you bitch?" He demanded
Your head slowly tilted back down like that of a monster in a horror movie. A wide smile was on your face but the malice was evident in your eyes.
"You," you answered, your tone calm and collected "because you're going to die."
The guy looked at you disturbed for a moment before a flood of anger rushed through his system. The guy attempted to reach out and grab you, but instead he right through you. Quickly, you turned on your heel to look at him with that wide, creepy smile still on your face. He looked back at you confused but before he could rush you again, you took both of his hands in yours and used your powers to break them completely. Any bone that could break, did break. The guy dropped to his knees as he screamed in pain. Looking back up at you, the creep asked terrified,
"What are you?"
Your eyes began to glow a bright blue, and with that same malicious smile you stated ever so kindly,
"Karma."
While a sober version of you probably would've stopped at this point knowing that the guy was thoroughly terrified, currently you had no such restraint. And just like you had done to the Sparrows in your battle with them, you began to suck all the oxygen from this guy's body. Particle by particle, the guy began to wither and choke. The fear in his eyes was evident but as you continued, things started to get a little hazy. You shook your head a few times to try to clear things up, but it didn't do much to help and as you opened your eyes again you saw Dean standing in front of you with concern on his face. Looking down at the ground once more, you saw as the guy was beginning to crawl away as he gasped deeply for air. But before you could return to what you were doing, Dean grabbed ahold of your wrist and stated urgently,
"(Y/N). We need to go. NOW."
You looked around to see horrified faces on the people nearby where you were. Before you could react, he was already dragging you behind him as he ran through the crowded dance floor. But as your heart began to race, your vision began to blur. And as your friends ran out of an emergency with Dean dragging you along behind them, everything went black.
Following the corridors that ran underneath the Commission, Five and Lila made their way down an ever-winding series of hallways. It was quite tedious having to make their way to wherever this bunker was. Whoever this founder was, they sure didn't want anyone to find them unless it was absolutely necessary. Unfortunately, absolutely necessary was the situation they were in right now. The pair continued to walk until they were stopped by a sliding metal door. The sign above it read Operations Bunker, the same way that they had first seen leading this way. Five hoped that it was actually behind here and not another maze of hallways because he could feel himself getting thirsty from all the walking and with every step he could feel himself getting more and more paranoid. He didn't know why though. Nevertheless, Five grabbed onto the handle of the door and tried to pull, but god, it was heavy. Grabbing the handle with two hands instead, Five slowly managed to slide the door open, but once there was enough of a gap, Lila pushed her way past him curtly saying,
"Exsqueeze me."
Pushing his way through the door after her he replied annoyed,
"You're excused."
"Operations bunker," Lila said as she looked at the giant circular metal door
This had to be the place they were looking for, but as much as Five wanted to see for himself he couldn't focus because of all the itching he felt. His nails ran up and down the back of his neck as he leaned against the brick wall behind Lila, digging deeply as he tried to relieve the irritating sensation.
Stepping up closer to the door, Lila looked into the small darkened window. As she did so, a bright blue light shined and rotated in a clockwise motion scanning her. However, as the device beeped and the light faded away a loud buzzer sounded from the speaker above.
"We're screwed," Lila commented
"Unauthorized access." a robotic voice stated over the speaker
"Oh shit." Five replied as he continued to scratch his neck
Turning to look at Five for an idea of what to do next she noticed the state he was in. He paced back and forth, scratching the back of his head and neck as if his life depended on it. Loads of sweat covered his face giving it an uncomfortable shine under the dingy lighting.
"Jesus. You're sweating like a dodgy shrimp on ice. What's wrong?" She questioned
And with that question, something in Five clicked. The sweating, the thirst, the paranoia, and the occasional gas all started happening the minute they got close to this room. And the closer they made their way down the winding halls to where they were now, the worse it got. His eyes went wide as he quickly stepped forward towards the door and looked into the same opening that Lila had. The blue light, just as before, lit up and circled in a clockwise motion over Five's face before beeping. But instead of a loud buzzer over the speaker, it was instead a simple chime followed by the robot voice stating,
"Access granted."
"I guess you're essential personnel." Lila commented slightly disappointed
The two could hear the sound of the door unlocking before watching as it rolled off to the side allowing them to see into the room. The floor was all black tile that was clear enough it reflected the image of the room. The ceiling looked like it was entirely glass with lights behind it while the walls were made of all-white squares with light interspersed between every three rows. Immediately to their left, they could see three white globe-like seats with red insides that looked like they came from a 70's furniture catalog with a glass side table and white fur carpet to match. Bottles of alcohol sat on a serving tray on top of the table between the three chairs while a singular silver floor lamp stood behind in the corner. However, the main item of interest was some type of tube in the back of the room.
As Five and Lila stepped in, the lights on the ceiling became brighter, illuminating the entire room. The white walls and reflective floor making it that much brighter inside. But as Lila walked ahead and the door closed behind Five, he could feel his need to itch and his thirst and paranoia slip away.
As Lila looked in through the glass panels on the tube at who was supposed to be the founder of the commission, Five placed the briefcase and Master's handbook down on the side table.
"That's him, huh?" Five commented as he walked over toward Lila "The founder."
"Looks like tinned beef. I was expecting more man and less..." Lila stopped before tapping on the metal tube and commenting "...can.
Walking closer to the metal tube Five began to better see the man who lay on the table of the tube. The face stopped him in his tracks for a moment as his eyes went wide. Slowly, he inched closer and closer to the founder but as he stood next to them, Five's eyes blinked in confusion as he softly said,
"It can't be."
"What's wrong?" Lila asked
"It's me." Five replied quietly
This was him? The old, decrepit man being kept alive by some sort of commission contraption was him? There was a silent pause between the two of them before Lila broke out in laughter. She looked between the Five she was with and the one who lay on the table as she clapped in hysterics.
"No way. This whole time you've been complaining about the Commission, and you're the one who founded it. Classic." She snickered amused
"If I did, I have no memory of it." Five replied uneasily as he looked at his older self
"So here I was thinking you were a maverick, but you're a company man, down to the bone. I mean, you..." Lila continued to laugh "You literally cannot breathe without this place."
"Something's not right. I don't have paradox psychosis. I could feel it outside," Five said gesturing to the door before looking around the room "but in here, it's...nothing."
"Never were too bright, were we?" The sound of a rasping voice suggested
Both Five and Lila turned to look toward Founder Five as he looked back at the pair. His skin was wrinkled from years of age and his beard was long, gray, and unruly signifying no one had taken care of it in a while. The man on the table did not look well in the slightest. He looked like he was hanging by a thread in terms of his life left and with labored breathing, he continued to explain,
"The operations bunker is paradox-proof. I constructed it as a panic room in case of a collapse in the time continuum. In this room, all permutations of yourself can exist. You must be here because of a... Kugelblitz."
"Is that like a cheese blintz?" Lila asked confused
"It's German for ball of lightning." Five explained, "It's an extra kinky kind of black hole."
"The kind that can suck up entire timelines," Lila commented
"Or worse." Founder Five choked out
Five looked down at the ground. It was worse than just the timeline being sucked up. It was the kind of black hole that could cause strong energy disturbances. Granted any black hole that close would probably do so but this was on such a larger scale than that. Five felt like an idiot for not thinking of it as a possibility but at least now that he knew what it was he could finally figure out how to stop it. With a sense of renewed energy Five quickly asked,
"So, how do we fix it?"
"You don't." Founder Five replied raspily "You shouldn't have left."
"What?" Five questioned annoyed
Don't fix it? He shouldn't have left? That's ridiculous. Of course, he should fix it. He needed to fix it. He came all this way for answers on how to fix it! This didn't make sense. Out of all the people in the world to tell him not to fix it he never expected himself.
"No. If you created all of this, then you must have created a solution." Five snapped through gritted teeth
Founder Five coughed and gasped for air as he worked up the ability to reply to his younger self. Oh, how unaware he was. How easy it was for him to have a sense of purpose at this time. If only he knew what the future held and how painful it would be.
"All that will be left is...oblivion." Founder Five wheezed out
"Oblivion?" Lila asked leaning over the man, "What do you mean?"
With that question, the locks on the metal tube Founder Five was unlocked as the table he laid on slid out. Five and Lila looked at him in frustration and shock respectively. He looked frail and malnourished, his rib cage showing through his skin. And he was missing the lower part of his left arm.
"This is what you have coming. You are running out of time to change things." Founder Five said desperately
"Then tell me how to change it!" Five lashed out
"Go home." Founder Five answered weakly
Five had enough of this. He didn't know why this older version of himself was acting this way, but he wasn't going to tolerate it. Every second his older self spent beating around the bush about how to save the world was another minute he wasn't actively working on saving it. This version of him was being a prick and Five was tired of not having is answers he came so far for. Approaching the version of himself on the table, Five leaned in very close. With fire in his eyes and in a low, intimidating tone of voice, he ranted,
"Listen to me, you ass. I just spent the last 20 days running around saving the world from apocalypses, only to keep trying to save the world. I am losing my mind, my hormones are raging, and all I wanna do is go out and buy a 1970s Corvette Stingray that I can drive around in with my beautiful girlfriend."
For a moment, Founder Five's eyes went wide at the mention of you. And it was that quick action, that note of recognition that caught Five's attention and gave him an idea. If he wouldn't give the answer on how to save the world from destruction willingly then perhaps he would do so with a little emotional manipulation. Pulling out the Polaroid photo he had brought along with him from inside his jacket pocket he held it up in front of his older self's face.
"(Y/N)..." Founder Five whispered
"That's right, asshole. Look at her. Look at that beautiful woman. I had to leave her to bring my ass here to try and find out how to stop this thing. So if you love her the way I do, which if you're me then I KNOW you do, you will tell me how to stop this to save her!" Five yelled
There was a change in the man that lay on the table. Blinded by his anger and frustration, Five could not see it but Lila could. The minute young Five pulled out the photo of you, the light immediately disappeared from the eyes of the older Five. And although his face was mostly concealed by a long scruffy beard, it was easy to see the emotion that overwhelmed him, none of it positive. Lila could see slight tears form in his eyes as his chest began to heave. It was as if Five had broken through some type of barrier with his older self, but all it was doing was causing things to fall apart. Just minutes ago Five was expressing to her how if you didn't exist there would be no reason for him to go on, and now here lay an older version of him who looked so ready to let go seeing your face. Taking a step forward Lila reached out to put a hand on Five's shoulder as she commented,
"Take it easy on him, Five."
"Lila, this is between me and myself, so stay out of it." Five snapped at her before putting on a faux polite smile and adding "Thank you."
Turning back towards his older self, his anger didn't fade. Instead, it grew just as his frustration had been growing since the first time he had tried to fight against the end of the world. He wanted the cycle to be over. He came all this way for answers and by god he was going to get them.
"This Kugelblitz, it is not some tiny leak that we can simply fix by patching a couple of pinholes. It is a giant trash compactor that is grinding up the universe and consuming it whole. So tell me how you stop it!" Five shouted
"Whatever you do..." Founder Five began to choke out
The sound of the heart monitor began to beep rapidly and the sound of his breathing became ragged as Five and Lila watched in confusion.
"...don't save the world." He finished
For a moment the heart monitor beeped more rapidly before stopping altogether. The light of the room began to fade as the sound of the machines powering down could be heard. Five looked at his older self with wide eyes. He could feel his own heart begin to race at the sight before him. He still needed answers. Grabbing onto the metal of the table Five looked over the man who now lay still and hoping for some reaction pressed,
"What do you mean, don't save-"
But when none came, he shouted,
"Five! How do I fix this?"
Trying to cut short the inevitable realization that his older self had died, Lila placed two fingers on Founder Five's neck to try and find a pulse. As she expected though, there was none. Pulling her hand back, she knew she needed to rip off the and-aid and bluntly announced,
"He's dead, Five."
Dead? No. He couldn't be dead. This couldn't be happening. He- Five had survived so long it seemed impossible for him to die. And for him to die in such an unremarkable way? He had been through so much worse. So many other instances that could've killed him and yet they didn't. Not the terrible conditions of the apocalypse, not a bullet from a gunshot, not the end of the world. He just died. Of old age. Alone. Five looked on with a mix of sadness, and confusion, and fear. It felt almost impossible that this happened. His whole life it felt like he couldn't seem to die, not that he wanted to, but it didn't feel real. But there in front of him, another version of him lay dead. It was a lot to take in and he couldn't do this, at least not in front of Lila. He didn't meet her eye as he quietly asked,
"Can I have the room?"
"Er... I don't think I should leave you two alone." Lila responded
"Lila, I need the room." He emphasized
Lila stood there quietly for a moment. She didn't want to leave him, he had just witnessed himself die. That was a terrible thing to have hanging over you. She knew from experience watching the video of the handler shooting her over and over again. It still haunted her to see her lifeless body and that was through a screen on the infinite switchboard. It could only feel that much worse witnessing it in person. But as much as she thought it would be better to stay he would not be okay until she left, so without another word, she turned away and walked out the bunker door.
When the door finally closed once more Five let out a breath that he was holding in. His eyes turned up to the ceiling in an attempt to stop the water forming in his eyes from falling down. It took a moment, but with some semblance of composure he looked ahead once more mumbling under his breath,
"Son of a bitch."
Sadly, he looked over the corpse in front of him when he then noticed something on the chest of his older self. Stepping forward he quietly asked,
"What's this?"
Taking a closer look at it he saw it was a tattoo inked onto the skin. It was odd. He never saw himself as the type to get another tattoo, especially after how awful the first one was. But there was something about the odd symbol featured prominently on his chest that he felt he needed to look into. Pulling out the switchblade you had gifted him early he cut off the tattooed part of the skin to take with him.
Rolling up the cut-off skin, he placed it in the pocket inside of his jacket that didn't contain your photo. He knew it wasn't the best place to keep it, but he really didn't have any other option. Letting out a deep sigh, Five looked at the corpse of his older self. Wrinkled, alone, dead. Was this his future? And if it was why was it this way? What would cause him to spend the end of his life in as Lila described, a tin can surviving off of the place he despised most. He didn't understand but whatever this was, he couldn't let it be his future. He was going to change things this time. He had to. But as Five began to turn away, to leave this place and the sight of his lonely cadaver, he saw a glint of something.
Turning back to the body, he looked to try and spot what had caught his eye but with the main lights now mostly off it was a little more difficult. However, after a moment the emergency light caught just right and he could see the shine was coming from his older self's hand. Reaching out, Five opened the hand fully to find a key inside it. Picking up the item he inspected it closer. There was nothing too unusual about it. It looked just like any other key you would see for a house or safe or whatever except for one detail. On the part of the key that would not be inserted into a lock, there was an engravement, faded by time but still visible that read clé du monde.
Key to the world.
Five could feel a slight spark of hope reading the inscription. Key to the world. Maybe this would lead to the answers he was looking for. Perhaps his older self did not want to reveal how to stop the apocalypse with Lila around but knew he would find this with her gone. Looking away from the key, he searched for where this would go. If he had held onto this while stuck in this room then the lock it went to couldn't be far. As his eyes scanned the four walls he saw something different in the back corner, a cabinet with small frosted glass doors built into the wall. Leaving his older self's side he walked towards them and just as he expected he found a lock to slide the key in. Without hesitation, Five inserted the key into the lock and clicked it open with a single twist. Opening the doors, Five expected to find piles of documents, reports, or any information relating to a kugelblitz and how to stop it, but the sight he was met with caught him off guard.
Instead of information, he was met with a cabinet full of items related to you. As he looked about the cabinet he saw things he recognized instantly. On the lowest shelf sat your diary, the teddy bear he had given you on your friendaversary, and the music box he gifted for your 13th birthday. But as he continued to look at the items, he saw stuff that confused him. Sitting on the middle shelf were a watch and knife that looked exactly like the ones you had gifted him earlier. Lifting up his wrist he looked between the watch on the shelf and the one he currently wore before pulling the knife out of his pocket and looking at it too. Back and forth he inspected the items until he could no longer deny that they were the exact same.
Five's heartbeat began to pick up slightly. Why were these items here? Looking back to the middle shelf he then saw six distinct Polaroid photos. Grabbing at them he looked through them one by one, his heart sinking more and more as he realized they were the same photos from earlier today. Dropping the photos in shock, they scattered the floor below. His eyes darted across the objects as he tried to come up with some type of explanation, one that avoided the terrible thoughts forming in his mind. And as his eyes searched the cabinet for some type of rationale, he finally noticed an envelope taped to the inside of the door.
Snatching it off the door he immediately opened it. This had to have some explanation. Something that would elaborate on why these things were here, but surely not for the reason he thought. Pulling the paper inside out quickly he opened it up and began to scan the words on the page.
Dear Alternate Self,
I can only assume that it's you as I would never willingly let anyone else access this cabinet and especially since the rarest of people would be able to access this room to begin with. If you are reading this that means I must have finally been released from the torment that is my existence. As you know, these objects you find here are the most important in the universe. They are the key to the world. My world. Our world. I don't know if you will recognize each item yet, but I promise they hold more value than anything else. You may be confused, but they are the reason this building, this organization, exists. I built this place to fix my mistakes. To try and make things right this time. And this bunker was made to keep me safe from any apocalypse but more so these irreplaceable items safe from harm so they will never be lost to time the way I let her be.
Five's hands began to shake as he processed the words on the page. He could feel the fearful adrenaline course through his veins as he read over what his other self had written to him.
"No." Five said in disbelief
This couldn't be real. It couldn't be true. There had to be something else here. Something that negated all the words above. Something to make the letter a red herring of sorts. Quickly, his eyes ran down the page as he read on.
However, if by some chance the person reading this note is you my beloved (Y/N), probably as a version of you from a different timeline than my own, I want you to know how much I loved you. I didn't realize it then but I loved you from the minute I met you. I loved you every moment of my life. I loved you til your last breath. And I continue to love you every minute beyond that no matter how painful it is.
"God. Please. No." Five silently begged in the empty room
I have many regrets that I cannot fix, but my biggest is not asking you one very important question. But I won't because it's not my place to do so now. I failed you in my time, and I will never forgive myself for it. Although it may not make sense, I feel this, the Commission, is the only way now that I can hope to fix something. Although I'd still prefer to keep them forever safe here, you can take any of the items if you like. My physical and mental state have deteriorated more and more each day without you but I hope that by the time you are reading this, I'm with my version of you dancing together among the stars. It seems this world wasn't made for us to be together but perhaps the next one will be.
The shaking Five had felt in his hand spread to the rest of his body. His chest began to clench as his breathing became labored and erratic. It felt like the world was spinning. His legs shook under him as the weight of the grief overcoming him pulled him to the ground. His knees gave out as the letter and envelope both fell from his hands. But as the envelope hit the floor, he could hear the tiniest clink from it.
With his mind still in overdrive, he immediately snatched the envelope up and flipped it over, but as the item fell into his hand everything stopped. Time was frozen and for a second he forgot how to breathe as he stared at the pristine golden locket in his hand. He knew this was your locket. Not only because of the condition it was in but inside it held a very young picture of him. He recalled you explaining how you had cut it out of a newspaper article about the academy's missions. But he also knew that between this and the letter from his older self, his worst fears had come true. He failed somehow. And you died because of it. But it wasn't the locket itself that had made him stop.
It was the ring that hung on the chain that stopped him in his tracks.
Gently undoing the clasp of the necklace he slid the ring off the chain and held it in his other hand. It was perfect. The ring was made of a sturdy metal that wouldn't tarnish easily and the diamonds on it sparkled brightly even in the dimmer lighting. It was exactly how he had envisioned it. Exactly how his now-deceased self envisioned it. He was going to ask his version to marry him. But he didn't. He never got the chance.
However, the longer Five stared at the ring he could feel the temporary numbness wear off and his adrenaline return. He was going to change things. This scene before him was not going to be his future. He was not going to make the same mistakes as the man who died before him. He was going to save the world, he was going to keep you from harm, and he was going to change his future.
Picking himself up from the ground, he put the ring in his pocket before walking over to the body on the table. Placing the locket in the hand where he had first found the key, he slowly closed it, making a tight fist that would hold onto it forever. With one last look at his dead counterpart, he tried to push all the terrifying thoughts that wracked his mind out of his brain. Turning on his heel he made his way to the door worried about if you were currently safe but also determined to make things right this time. As the door to the bunker opened, Five grabbed the briefcase off the table before he quickly walked out and past Lila who was leaning against a wall.
"You good?" Lila called "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Get your powers warmed up." Five demanded as he continued walking "We need to find a power source and we need to go."
"A please would be nice, y'know." She remarked
"Now, Lila." Five snapped
"Fine, you little twat." Lila grumbled
Lila didn't know what had occurred in there while she was outside, but whatever it was, it was affecting Five greatly. Although annoyed, she let it slide. Everyone grieved differently and if he was going to be rude then she wasn't even going to try to help his feelings right now. Not that she really cared about his feelings. With a small huff, she began to follow behind him as they searched to find a power source to get home.
As for you, the sounds of the world started to come into focus just as your eyes adjusted to your surroundings. No longer was there the sound of pounding music and screams nor the sight of flashing neon lights. Instead, it was replaced with the dim shine of old lightbulbs, mild chatter, and old rock music. Your head felt heavy and as it tilted downward you saw you were sitting on a chair. The last thing you remembered, you weren't sitting down. Dean grabbed your wrist as you all fled the nightclub you snuck into after getting into a fight. Your head felt like it was spinning as you took in the surroundings. There was a dusty bar across the way and a pole dancer in the middle of the room you were in. A line of motorcycles sat in a row outside the building and as you forced your head to look up you saw a ceiling filled with metal rafters. Where were you? As your vision cleared fully and your head stopped pounding so much you managed to look around and see Viktoria standing next to you. Grabbing onto the fabric of her romper you tugged at it as best as you could to get her attention.
"Yeah?"
"Where are we, Vi?" You asked
"Remember how when we left City Hall we decided we wanted to do something that connected us together?" Viktoria asked
You went to City Hall? When? It was around 8 pm when you went to the club and you were there for some time so City Hall was definitely closed. Did you all break into a government building? Why? For what? What did you need to do in there that was so important it had to be done at the latest hours of the night? Confused and hoping for some elaboration you answered,
"No."
"Well, Kenny brought us here to this bar where they ask no questions and will tattoo minors since Lucas and Addi aren't 18 yet," Viktoria explained "So we're all getting matching tattoos. Thematically matching, at least."
That was not the elaboration you were hoping for. You were all getting tattoos? What were you getting tattoos of? What was the theme? What the fuck was going on? You had no clue where you were or how you got there. It was almost like time travel except for the fact that you could actually remember the times that you time traveled. If you could just get some clarity then maybe you would feel a little better about where you were now. Trying to understand the situation you asked,
"Did we just get here?"
"No, we've been here for a while now silly," Kenny commented placing a hand on your shoulder "Seems like someone had a bit too much to drink at the club, eh?"
You looked towards Kenny to shoot him a look but as you turned your head you saw an image on his wrist that extended up a part of his forearm. It was a skull surrounded by Red Spider Lily and Gomphrena flowers with two snakes coming out of the eye sockets twisting together like the Caduceus medicine symbol. The tattoo was wrapped in saran wrap with tape to stop it from opening. It was a little jarring seeing it since only a few hours ago he didn't have it but it looked cool as hell though.
"That's dope as fuck." You complimented pointing at the tattoo
"Thanks! The people who tat here might look scary but their art is beautiful." Kenny replied "I had a girl named Queenie do mine. She liked all the symbolism I told you about."
"Sorry, I don't recall." You said giving him an apologetic smile
"Ah shit, right." He replied before pointing at the image on his skin
"Red Spider Lilies symbolize death while Gomphrena has been known to symbolize immortality. The skull kinda adds to the life and death motif but the snakes intertwining are just for the health symbol because ima little medicine boy." Kenny explained
"Cool, so is it just you or did anyone else get tattooed yet?" You asked
Your friends, minus Kenny who had already clocked your semi-blackout state, all looked at you confused.
"Don't you remember Dean asking if you would hold his hand while he got tattooed because he felt a little nervous?" Addison inquired
"You make it sound like I was nervous because of the tattoo. I'm not a loser who is scared of needles." Dean interjected, "I was nervous because in the first timeline, I beat that guy in a street race when he challenged me and then he threatened to kill me when I won."
"Well, he doesn't know you in this timeline so you were fine," Addison remarked
"Yeah, well, having my super-powered sister made me feel a lot better." Dean replied back "The tattoo is dope though, I'll give him credit for that. But also we had a whole conversation with the guy about ways they could improve sunscreen to make it feel less gross when you apply it which I did find odd."
You held Dean's hand when he was getting his tattoo? And had a whole conversation about sunscreen? These felt like things you should've remembered but right now those memories were hazy at best. You could only hope that somehow your brain would move them from short to long-term memory so when you woke up tomorrow you would know what the hell has happened.
"Oh yeah, Axel has always been passionate about that." Kenny mentioned, "At least from what I recall the last time around."
"So how many of you have gotten your tattoos?" You asked
"All of us but you (Y/N)," Lucas answered holding out his wrist
On it, you saw what looked like a Grecian vase depicting Hercules slaying the Hydra. Between Kenny's tattoo and now Lucas' you were starting to get the theming that Viktoria didn't clearly mention earlier.
"Y'know I still think you're a coward for not letting Herc have a dick and balls," Dean commented
"How many times do I have to explain to you that you literally wouldn't see it from that angle!" Lucas exclaimed "And anyway it's MY tattoo on MY skin. If I don't want a dick on there, then there won't be one!"
"Lame," Kenny replied
"Oh fuck you guys," Lucas remarked
Dean and Kenny snickered with each other. You knew that their teasing was meaningless and based on the smirk that Lucas was trying to hide, he knew so too. Looking around you wanted to see what everyone else had gotten embedded into their skin.
"What about you guys?" You said gesturing between Dean, Addison, and Viktoria "What did you get?"
You could see Dean's eyes light up as he stepped in front of Addison and Viktoria and held his wrist out toward you stating loudly,
"I got this sick ass bow and arrow!"
He was correct. It was a sick ass bow and arrow that was overlaid on top of a circle target. And with your brother's reveal, you could definitely solidify the fact that the connecting theme the group was going for was tattoos symbolizing each of yourselves but more specifically your nicknames. Necrotic, Hercules, and now Marksman.
"Very cool, Dean." You said smiling before adding "Now can you please get out of the way of the girls."
"Fine." Dean huffed
Addison and Viktoria stepped forward as they held both their wrists out to you as well, albeit a little less aggressively than Dean just did. On Addison's, you saw three minimalist sparkles all in a row. It was simple, elegant, and a nice nod to her nickname Spotlight. And then on Viktoria there was a nice image of a viola with a small line of sheet music underneath. As you read them your hand instinctively moved as if you were playing the notes on the piano. D, A, G sharp, G. You stopped. You recognized those notes.
"Megalovania? Really?" You asked disappointed but unsurprised
"Yeah," Viktoria answered proudly
"Why?" You pressed
"I thought it was funny," She responded
You put your face in your hands for a moment as you laughed. Your friends could be so dumb but you loved it so much. And hey, if that's what she wanted to represent her nickname Sonata, so be it. As you looked around though you realized one of your friends was missing.
"Where's Bren?" You asked
"Right behind you!" Bren exclaimed, "I just finished my tattoo!"
"Congrats, you survived," Dean replied
"What did you get?" Lucas asked
"Nothing crazy. Just two whips, one above the other." Bren replied as he held up his wrist
The group looked at it, and while it was true that it was just two whips he failed to mention that the actually whippy part of each spiraled into cursive that spelled out half of his nickname. The top whip spelling out, well, whip, and the lower one spelling out lash. As you were about to compliment the creativity of Bren's tattoo though, The most stereotypical biker-looking man walked over with a woman and another man behind him. As he approached Kenny you could hear him say,
"Hey, Kid. Me, Jet, and Queenie are done. We wanna drink."
"But what about my friend, Axel?" Kenny questioned, "She's the only one of us left."
"And we gave you money for all of us!" Addison chimed in
"Stop your whining." The guy who you could only assume was Jet remarked "We might look shady to you from your ivory tower but fair is fair here. Your friend will get her ink."
You could see that Addison was slightly annoyed by the comment but kept her mouth shut. The last thing you all needed was for Addison's attitude to cause her to try doing some of her psychology shit here. As Lucas wrapped an arm around his girlfriend's waist to calm her down, the woman named Queenie stated,
"Yeah, we got another guy who just finished up and can take your friend. Down the hall, behind the employees-only door."
"Oh okay," Kenny said
"And Kid, don't ask me for anything else." Axel added
"Yeah, I won't." Kenny replied, "Enjoy your drinks."
With that, the three biker adults walked away from your group of friends and across the place to the bar. Your friends then turned to look at you.
"Alright (Y/N), you heard the man." Bren commented, "Down the hall and then behind the employees-only door."
"Um...okay I guess." You replied slowly standing up from your seat
You looked between the group and then down the hall toward the employees-only door. You weren't nervous to go get a tattoo but you also didn't quite know what to expect. When the Umbrellas had gotten their tattoos it was forced upon them and it seemed like they were all in pain when you found out about them. You still were a little hurt that Five made his siblings lie to you about their tattoos even existing because he knew it would upset you. But these tattoos were by choice, they were meaningful in a good way and it looked like everyone here did so well. But you couldn't remember anything up until recently so you couldn't be sure. Turning away from your friends you looked down the hall once more.
"Do you want me to come and hold your hand?" Dean asked placing a hand on your shoulder
You looked back over your shoulder at him. You could do this. Whatever hesitancy you had was nothing compared to all the things you had faced before. With a little more confidence you replied,
"No. I think I'll be okay."
Stepping forward, Dean pulled his hand off your shoulder and you began to walk down the hall to the door. From behind you, you could hear Viktoria call out,
"Ask for us if you need us!"
You looked back and nodded your head but continued on. As you walked your eyes shifted between all the people at the place you were at and while they gave you a passing glance they didn't really seem to care either. Making it to the door, you pushed it open and entered the room. As you did so you saw a chair to sit in, in the middle of the room but couldn't see the person who was supposed to tattoo you. Nevertheless, you walked toward the chair and sat down waiting for the person to show up. As you sat down, the metal of the seat squeaked followed by the sound of a door opening and closing behind you.
"What are you looking to get?" The voice asked as it approached
But as they stood beside you, you cocked your head to the side in confusion and quietly asked,
"Pogo?"
It had to be Pogo you had never seen another walking, talking, primate before. They looked exactly like him and sounded like him too. It had to be. You didn't speak as you processed your thoughts staring at him while he looked back. But after a moment you tried to explain,
"It's been so long I don't know if you recognize me but I'm-"
"Ms. (Y/N)," Pogo interjected taken aback
"Yeah." You replied quietly
Just as you were in disbelief so was Pogo. To him, you were like a legend more than you were real. Of course, he had remembered you briefly throughout his early days. You would read to him or play beautiful music on the piano. But more so he recalled you from all the times that Sir Hargreeves mentioned your name and the portrait that hung on the wall over the fireplace until it was switched after Master Benjamin's incident. It was impossible to forget who you were.
"So it was true then when Sir Hargreeves said you would come back one day?" Pogo questioned softly
You grimaced slightly at the question. You didn't like the way that Reginald had used you as some type of god to worship in an effort to control the Sparrows. How they had to work harder because you would come back and be better than them. Sure you were better than them, but the perspective he instilled in everyone was wrong. It wasn't who you were. But that wasn't the question you were asked though and so you stated,
"He's been wrong in many ways but in that instance, yes, he was correct."
Pogo looked at how your face contorted when he asked you about Sir Hargreeves. Even at his young age, he could remember sensing the placated animosity. All along you had known how awful Reginald was. If only he could've seen the truth sooner. However, feelings about Reginald aside, he wondered why you would be here at the bar of a notorious biker gang requesting a tattoo. You didn't seem the type.
"What are you doing in a place like this?" Pogo asked
"I could ask you the same thing." You replied
You never expected to see Pogo dressed in a leather jacket and jeans working as a tattoo artist for a biker gang. And yet here he was. You could see the way he now grimaced and his body tensed at the thought of whatever led him to be here.
"Sir Hargreeves and I had some disagreements over his treatment and training of the Sparrow Academy and when I voiced them he kicked me out. It was tough at first but I found a home here with the Mothers of Agony." Pogo explained, the resentment obvious in his tone
Once again Reginald Hargreeves was the sole cause for so many people's misery. He was like Ronald Reagan except instead of ruining an entire country he managed to ruin entire timelines with his actions.
"And yourself?" Pogo asked
You let out a deep sigh. Typically you told your story with such candor, and a level of humor in your tone as you explained every detail. But the story, your story, it wasn't funny. You only tried to make it sound funny because then you didn't have to deal with how awful it truly was. But you were tired of it now. So tired of the cycle of loss and misery and trying to rebuild your life. Could you not just fully be happy? Were you cursed to build your happiness back up only to have it come toppling down again?
"That bad, huh?" Pogo asked
"I won't bore you with the details as it's far too long and a bit too sad of a story to tell. But in short, I found out that a black hole is consuming the world, my boyfriend went god knows where with someone who was trying to kill him two days ago to try and stop the black hole, and everyone I loved has either died or left, minus those six kids outside this room." You explained sadly "And now I don't even know how I got here but I guess I'm here to shove ink into my skin in some meaningful way.
You saw as Pogo looked at you, although he looked like a hardened biker, that there was sadness and sympathy on his face. It was the exact same look that the Pogo you had grown up with gave you on occasion. Somehow there was a comfort in knowing that although the timeline was different he was still himself.
"I'm sorry that you've faced so much misfortune recently," Pogo said
"Same to you." You replied, "It seems like neither of us has expected to be where we are."
"Life will never be easy for those who are different, like us. No matter how green the grass may seem..." Pogo replied
He paused for a second, a grimace upon his face as he reflected back on his own life.
"...or how rose-tinted our glasses are." He continued "The best we can do is survive."
"I don't want to keep surviving. I want to live." You emphasized "But when I envision the future right now all I can see is well...a black hole."
You used to have plans for your life. Things to look forward to, things to work towards, things to hope for, but since the night at the consulate, your hope had been continuously dwindling. It was starting to feel reckless to hold onto hope especially since it was in such short supply. All you seemed to have to hold onto were the people you surrounded yourself with and even then some of them were harder to keep around than others. Leaning your head back on the headrest of the tattoo chair you looked blankly at the ceiling. But then you felt a gentle hand rest on top of your own. Looking over you saw that Pogo gave you a sympathetic look as he calmly stated,
"Dear child, as much as we want to, we will never know what comes next. The future will always be a dark void that we like to hang pretty pictures of what we're expecting in front of to stop it from scaring us."
"So what am I supposed to do?" You asked, "Just conscientiously object life itself?"
"No, you don't do that until you know in your heart it's the right option." Pogo replied, "Focus on what have now, not what you don't yet."
You stopped for a moment and thought about his words. He was right, all you could do was focus on what you had now. And that was your friends. It was already your intention to focus on them but the advice solidified it even more. You needed them and you were theirs because each other is all you had left in this world that was heading for the meat grinder.
"Thanks, Pogo." You thanked quietly
"You know Ms. (Y/N), even though I was young, I still remember how kind you always were. Your love is your strength and I only hope you don't let what you've faced take that away from you." Pogo stated "I already watched the Sparrows lose much of their light to this world and what it put them through. It would pain me greatly to find you facing the same fate."
You gave him a small smile, one that was reminiscent of acknowledging an old friend even though you didn't have much in common anymore. That knowing smile that someone cared even if they didn't play a major role in your life anymore.
"I'll give it my best as long as you promise me you'll do the same." You answered
"Then I'll give it my best too, Ms. (Y/N)," Pogo replied, his small smile reflecting yours "Now, you came here for a tattoo so the least I can do is give you one. It is my current profession after all."
"Oh, right," You said surprised
You had almost forgotten that was the reason you were here in the first place. You and your friends were all getting spontaneous thematic tattoos. As you watched him start to fully set up his equipment you thought about what you would want. Everyone had their tattoo related to their nickname but you wanted it to mean more than just that. As Pogo finished setting up his equipment he turned his attention back to you as he asked,
"Do you have anything particular in mind or just a concept?"
"I do think have an idea," You replied "Do you have something I can draw it with?"
Pogo nodded as he pulled out a small notebook and pen before handing it over to you. You were still a little tipsy from the events of the night thus far but you managed to draw down your idea. Although, not as neat as you would've liked. Handing the notebook and pen back to him you gestured to the drawing and said,
"That, but with y'know with crisper, neater line work."
"Of course. It's an interesting drawing," Pogo commented "Does it have meaning?"
"Yeah. A lot." You softly answered before asking "Can you do it?"
"Of course, I can Ms. (Y/N)," Pogo replied confidently
"Let's get started then." You said
Sitting back in the chair, you looked at your left wrist where for years no image had been placed upon it, not even a drawing in Sharpie. Somehow every time you thought about the possibility of getting a tattoo your mind went right back to all the Hargreeves and the idea turned you off. But now you realized that you didn't like their tattoos because they were kids and didn't have a choice. It was like an impersonal branding that was shoved into their skin against their will. But you, you had a choice and the image you chose had meaning. You loved the Hargreeves but this was different. You were different. And the drawing actually stood for something good. Something personal and filled with love. You looked at the blank skin one last time as the tattoo needle pressed into your wrist leaving the beginnings of your image. It didn't hurt, maybe because your senses were already a little numb or maybe because you weren't afraid. Either way, the vibration of the machine felt neutral and so you closed your eyes and let Pogo do his work as you let your hesitations fade away.
Darkness turned into clarity as you blinked your eyes rapidly to focus on what was happening. You could feel the wind blowing in your face as some of your hair brushed against your skin. The sounds of your friends' joyful screams and shouts echoed around you as you looked around. With a large smile on his face, Dean was flooring the car down an empty backroad loudly complimenting his car Veronica for how fast she was going. Kenny and Bren shouted happily as they both leaned themselves out of the back left window. Lucas and Addison were making out as if the world was ending which, you had no problem with because it was. And Viktoria was laughing like a maniac even though it looked like she was about to be sick. You smiled as you took in the sights and sounds of your friends. They were so happy. You all were so happy together.
As you looked around you looked down at your wrist to see the tattoo you had drawn on the paper for Pogo now embedded into your skin. You remembered the needle pressing into your skin but after that, it became a blur. You couldn't remember anything else you might have talked about. You couldn't remember if you thanked him. If you said goodbye and gave him a hug. If you told him that he mattered to you still and for him to be safe.
You hoped you did.
Looking at the image, it was a circle with two smaller circles intersecting it on either side kind of like a Venn diagram. The large middle circle had eight equally distant lines sticking out of it with the two lines at the 9 and 3 positions going through the side circles cutting them in two. The three interlocking circles were reminiscent of a three-ring circus a reference to your nickname Ringmaster the way the others had gotten tattoos representing their nicknames.
But the tattoo had more meaning than that as each part represented someone in your life. The large circle in the center was you. The two intersecting circles on the sides represented your parents while the four smaller sections within those circles represented both Umbrella Academy Grace and 1960s Grace, and Eudora with a spot left open that you were unsure if you were going to assign yet or not. You were still working on those feelings. And then there were the 8 lines. ^ represented the friends you were with now, one was for Charlie, and the last was for Five. Although you hoped one day that perhaps the lines could also represent the seven umbrellas plus yourself. But that didn't seem likely and you were far happier with the thought process you had now.
You were happy now.
Overall, things weren't perfect. There was a lot that was wrong both with you and the world. But that didn't matter because at least the moments you were in right now were perfect and you wouldn't change them in the slightest. And so you were happy.
You had no clue what was going on at this point but honestly, it didn't matter. You were with your friends and you only hoped that these last five days of existence with them would feel like a lifetime.
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Taglist: @xplrreylo @joebob15274 @insatiable-ivy @fruitsaladtree @angelpeachamber @academy-umbrella @lizziel1410 @ir3neeee @faith-quake @aliens-with-colas @sunsetcurve-1995 @lady-celeste25 @im-dead-and-hurting @nerdypinupcrystal @cherry-ki-d @anapocalypseinmymind @vicassa @2cuteforyourlies @taylorsmakingfuckingmacandcheese @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson @shadowycreationcupcake @emily-hargreeves @metor-showers1994 @fivehargreevesforthewin @rinko-san @supernovavision @cicilisthebest @flickbix @hi-v-juice @magykal-777 @zosiaduda @thethirdwheelfriend @mysticracoon @isnt-it-loverly @officiallydarkgeek @lady1505 @always-the-very-worst @tinypandagirl @libidinexx @lemongrabbuns @itwasallred @deadandoverit @shlokage @keksi249 @theoriginalkat @we-stan-fiction @bi-idiot-fanfics @annnagennnie @izzyjojo4 @megasimpleplan4ever @flowertoty @grabthemoneyandletsgo @itsametaphorbriansblog @vanillacaramelhoney @satvaldiva @disaster-magician @margotsfandoms @emily-b-m @bluechildrenlickmytoes @soft-slytherin-sweetie @oceanspray5 @im-here-for-fanfics @thebloodrobin @freestarlight @starcurrent @lilacs-lavender @moatsnow @give-the-boy-a-hug @narikyuwu @whenyouregrungeaff @gabriella-aesthetic @xxtwizztedxx @instabull @emma-jopeth @justsomecreaturewandering @wifeofcamillamacaulay
#the umbrella academy#tua#umbrella academy#tua five hargreeves#five hargreeves x you#five hargreeves x reader#five hargreeves#five hargreeves fanfic
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Synopsis: Isn’t it every fan’s dream to get hit by a car? Especially if it’s going to be caused by the driver of your favorite NCT member? Oh, and a few days before you have to attend the concert at that.
Pairing: Idol!Mark x Fan!Y/n
Genre: comedy, angst, idol life, romance
Started: N/A
Ended: N/A
Updates: Saturdays
Author's note: I literally was doing my astronomy homework for the first time and actually trying to study when I was thinking about the Dream concert and camping when my brain was like "imagine you got hit by a car and it was mark" 0.0 so here's a new series dedicated to that because I'm bored and I love mark. I know I keep posting a lot of mark content but he's my bias and I know him a little more than the others, at least to write longer content not only that but I need requests to write because I completely blank for other members ^.^
EXCLAIMER: i’ll only commit to the series if there’s interest in it ! i don’t really want to be writing thousands of words if no one’s going to read so i wrote a sneak peek just to see if it gathers any interest !!
SNEAK PEEK
And I wanna be the best thing, I
The best you ever had
It’s a shame they took this off the setlist right after their Japan tour, you thought. A great way to start off your morning on the way to work. The coffee shop to be exact. Now, you didn’t exactly hate the coffee shop or working but you enjoyed the customers that came with it. Something new was happening every day, whether that be someone getting dumped and having an iced coffee poured on them or your coworker getting into a fight with a customer for not getting their order right. You enjoyed every single minute of it.
You walk along the sidewalk to the beat of the song when your favorite part in Best Friend Ever comes on. And of course, the line goes to the one and only Mark Lee of NCT. You don’t mean to be biased but it’s not your fault they give him all the good lines.
Nobody tries to get between us
Get between us
The day is almost here, the day where you get to see Mark and NCT Dream in the flesh. You’ve seen Mark about three times, Haechan twice, and the Dreamies once but there’s only so much you can handle. You made it your mission to get those tickets the second they went on sale. Your phone is holding two tickets to general admission which amounts to your whole paycheck.
You see the coffee shop right across the street once you get to the crosswalk. You take a look at the people standing all around you, it looks like they’re heading somewhere as well. You notice someone looking at you from your peripheral view, so you quickly turn your head to face them. But not before your right airpod flies out of your ear.
“What the heck, man,” you said as you lean down to pick it up from the ground. Great, now you have to clean it when you get to work. As you're in the process of leaning down, the same people that were standing around you are now walking forwards kicking your headphone further onto the street.
You get pushed slightly by the people as you try to look for your lost airpod. “Wait, don’t push me, hold on, I’m trying to pick up my headphone.” You quickly look up from the ground to see the crosswalk sign is at fifteen seconds, that’s enough time to find it.
Suddenly, you hear three loud honks coming from the right of you. You look to your right and see a black BMV coming towards you, not too fast but also not slow enough. You don’t even have time to react before it hits you and knocks you to the ground a few feet away from where you originally were. Groaning, you feel an immense amount of throbbing in your head and feel something wet in your hair. You can barely move your legs since the car had impacted them, but you don’t think they’re completely broken either.
You hear doors slam shut and hear two pairs of feet running towards you. You think there would be more but it’s only five in the morning. Your eyes are closed, and your ears are ringing as you try to slightly open your eyes when you hear muffled voices talking.
“Oh my god,” You hear a voice panic. “We’re going to jail. I’m going to jail. These tiktoks about us going to jail are about to come true.”
“Mark, calm down, go back inside the car, I’ll try to handle this. I don’t think you’re in the right state of mind to talk.” You manage to open your eyes a bit when you notice an older man who looks around his forties and another boy walking away from you.
“Oh great, you’re not dead,” the older man sighs out while holding a hand to his chest. You let out a groan as you try to push yourself up. The man notices and rushes towards you quickly and puts a hand on your back.
“Don’t try to get up, you’re not in stable condition.”
“Yeah, you think?” You ask as you side eye him.
“Mark, come help carry her so we can get her in the car,” he says while waving over the boy who was standing near the BMV. He’s wearing a white mask so you can’t see his face very well.
“Dude, I am like so sorry we hit you, if it were me driving, this would’ve never happened. Except I can’t drive yet, so this guy is doing it for me.” The older man and the boy are both at each side of your body when they carefully lift you off the ground.
“Yeah, and your guy completely ran me over and ruined my chances of seeing NCT Dream since what do you know? My legs are injured,” You bitterly say as you look over to the boy. His eyes are wide as he pauses.
“Mark, what are you standing around for? We have to get her to the hospital,” You freeze.
“What did you say?” You whip your head to look at the man.
“Jesus Christ don’t do that, you almost gave me a heart attack,” he sighs holding his free hand to his chest once again. “I said we have to get you to the hospital.” You whip your head back to look at the boy just for his face to be facing the other way.
“Mark? Like Mark Lee from NCT?” You ask.
“Haha, whaaat? Who is that?” His voice gets higher as he fixes his mask. Your right hand reaches over to quickly yank down the mask from his face.
“Yo, what the-” You knew it. You would know that voice from anywhere since you’ve heard over thousands of times online.
Your eyes are wide. “No way...”
“Why’d you yank down my mask, oh my god,” Mark quickly says he rushes to lift it back on his face.
“Oh no, this isn’t good,” The older man sighs. Turning your head to the right, you take a good look at his face.
“And why the hell not?”
“Because you’re a fan.”
“Well cut my legs and call me shorty because I’m a fan with nonfunctioning ones,” You state.
You hear Mark burst into sudden laughter. “Um, what?”
“You guys are paying for my hospital bill, right?”
#mark lee#nct x y/n#mark lee x reader#mark lee angst#mark lee nct#mark lee x y/n#mark lee imagine#hit & run au#mark au#mark lee au#mark x reader#mark x y/n#nct au#nct#nct dream au#nct 127 au#nct x reader#nct 127 x reader#nct dream x reader#mark lee series#nct dream#nct 127#mark smau#nct smau
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Branded (Part 2)
It’s finally here! Thank you for the lovely comments and reblogs on this fic!
The conclusion of Branded. A Rhett Abott x Reader. Featuring soft Rhett who is an idiot who thinks mostly with his second brain, best friends to lovers. Perry is a good bro. Maria is an awful step-sister to reader.
This was a real work of love so I really, really hope you like it!
Part 1 if you missed it.
18+ for SMUT and swearing galore.
Thank you to @mayhem24-7forever for picking up my error calling her half-sister in the first part. They are step sisters, reader's dad remarried Maria's mother. I've gone back and fixed it! I owe you one! And when I was re-reading part 1 I found that I’d called Perry’s wife the wrong name the whole way through! God I had a shocker! All fixed now!
Enjoy xox
From the ages of sixteen to eighteen, if Maria asked Rhett for anything, he did it, and probably without even thinking about it. All it took was a soft touch of her hand, a flirty remark, a peck on his cheek, or hell even a flip of her long hair, and he was weak at the knees. That’s how strong the promise of her pussy, the proverbial carrot she dangled out of his reach, was to a horny, teenage Rhett.
As a 26-year-old, he thought he’d be able to handle himself a bit better around Maria, but he was pretty drunk and probably the stupidest fucking man in Wabang.
“Maria.” Rhett acknowledged her presence. “Umm… what do you want?”
“There’s plenty I want from you,” she said suggestively. Maria took the shot glass from in front of him and poured herself a tequila. She stared at him teasingly as she downed the booze and licked the rim of the glass.
Jesus.
Teenage Rhett would have probably bust a nut at the display and even now his drunk dick involuntarily twitched at the sight.
“Been a while huh Rhett. Saw you looking at me before. Sorry I kept you waiting,” she purred, and he tensed up as she moved closer to him.
The tequila had kicked in and he felt hazy. “I… ah… I.” Rhett stuttered out.
“I know you wanted me bad back in school. I think I’m about ready to give you what you want.” Maria’s voice dripped with sex, and she took his trucker hat off his head and put it on hers.
“Pity this isn’t a Stetson huh. Doesn’t a woman take a cowboy’s hat when she wants to screw him?” And she suddenly brushed her hand up his thigh towards his semi-hard cock and Rhett grit his teeth.
Fuck.
It was downright pathetic that his body reacted this way, he knew it could be the booze, but it’s like he had a ‘Pavlov’s Response’ to this woman.
Rhett was so used to letting his dick lead him, but thankfully his actual brain kicked in. It’s like someone threw a bucket of ice water over him and snapped him out of it.
What the fuck was wrong with him.
Rhett quickly ripped her hand off his leg and he shifted as far away from her as he could. “I’m waitin’ on someone,” Rhett said roughly.
He was angry at himself that he’d let Maria get under his skin, even if it was just for a split second. And ashamed that he had done this to YFN… again.
“You mean YFN? Please.” Maria scoffed. “I saw you approach me first honey. Did she see? Wonder how she feels knowing she’s your second choice.”
“It ain’t like that.” Rhett forced out.
Maria battered her heavily made-up eyes at him and moved closer to him again, caging him uncomfortably in the booth. Her long fingernails dragged across his chest and her sickly-sweet floral perfume surrounded him. It all felt wrong. He definitely didn’t want her.
“It’s exactly like that. You chose me once; you’ll do it again.”
“Aaahh!” she cried as she was suddenly yanked out of his space.
Rhett watched with wide eyes as YFN, with a rough hold on the back collar of Maria’s shirt, pulled her out of the booth.
Holy shit.
Maria stumbled as she gained her footing. “What the hell you bitch,” she spat.
YFN glared at both of them, and her eyes blazed with fury and something else Rhett couldn’t quite place. She ripped his cap off Maria’s head and threw it on the table.
“You’re an asshole,” she said sharply, and her eyes momentarily flashed with pain.
Fuck.
Rhett flinched. He didn’t know if it was aimed at Maria or him or both. Even though he didn’t want Maria, it didn’t matter; he knew seeing them together was bound to hurt YFN. He hadn’t even got a chance to tell her how he felt, and he’d already fucked up.
“YFN I…” She put up her hand to silence him and Maria barked out a laugh.
YFN’s hands balled up into white knuckled fists, but she remained composed. “He doesn’t want you.”
Maria faced off with YFN and smirked at her. “And you think he wants you? God you’re stupid. He didn’t want you when we were younger, and he doesn’t now either. All I had to do was look at him and he got hard,” she teased.
Rhett cringed at Maria’s comment, but he could not tear his eyes off YFN. She wasn’t invisible to anyone now. Anger and what he hoped was jealousy radiated off her, but she remained eerily calm. The sweet, soft girl he’d known his whole life wasn’t there. YFN was fierce, and damned if it didn’t make him love her more.
And of course, it turned him the fuck on.
YFN whispered, but loud enough so Maria and Rhett could hear. “Honey he’s been rock hard all night but trust me; it wasn’t for you.”
Holy fuck.
Maria laughed bitterly. “You go ahead and tell yourself that. I’ll always be first choice for anyone.”
YFN made a slight, pained noise and anger flashed through Rhett’s body. He got up out of the booth quickly and opened his mouth to deny her statement, but the sudden movement made his head spin.
“Even your daddy loves me better,” Maria said viciously with a smirk.
“Fuck off back to the Tillerson’s you dumb cunt.”
Perry.
Maria paled a little at the threatening words. She had never had any effect on Perry, like she had on Rhett. And, since his wife’s disappearance, his brother’s moods were unpredictable, and the number of drinks he’d had and his protective instinct of YFN had him steaming at Maria. She took the hint and quickly spun on her heel and retreated.
YFN’s previous resolve had crumbled, and she was quiet, her shoulders slumped. She glanced at Rhett and his heart broke at the sadness he saw in her eyes.
Shit.
This was all his fault; he didn’t deserve her. He just stood there silently, filled with guilt as he watched his brother take control of the situation.
Perry shot him an unreadable look, and his menacing demeanour quickly softened at YFN’s state, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Don’t listen to that bitch sweetheart. I reckon we should get out of ‘ere.”
“She’s right ‘bout my family. They do… I- I don’t wanna… I can’t go home,” she whispered meekly.
“Fuck your whole family then. You’re comin’ home with us.” Perry grunted.
“Are you… You’re sure your folks won’t mind?” she questioned quietly.
Perry rolled his eyes at her. “You’re kiddin’ right? You’re family YFN. We all adore you.” Rhett watched as her eyes quickly darted to his. “And its still pretty early, so Amy will be thrilled to see you outside of school.” Perry finished.
At the mention of Amy, a small, smile grew on her lips. “Sure you don’t mind her seein’ her teacher tipsy.”
Perry chuckled and gestured between him and Rhett. “Your fine sweetheart. We’re no better.”
“Why don’t you go freshen up or somethin’ and meet us outside when you’re done. I’ll call dad. Reckon he’ll still be in town and don’t think any of us are right to drive,” he said softly.
YFN nodded and her eyes flitted back to Rhett. His head was swimming with emotion, and he had no idea what she was thinking. Rhett gave her what he hoped was an apologetic look. “Please,” he managed to croak out.
She held his eyes with hers for a moment longer and she gave him a small tight smile before walking towards the bathroom.
As soon as she left, Perry immediately narrowed his eyes at him. Rhett sighed and dropped his head knowing he was probably going to kick his ass, but he knew he deserved it.
“I know. This is all my fault. I’ve already fucked this up.” Rhett said sadly.
Perry laid a hand on his shoulder. “You’re a fuckin’ idiot that’s for sure. But it ain’t your fault. This is on that bitch of a sister. I saw YFN’s reaction to Maria all over you, so I don’t think you’ve screwed this up.”
Rhett looked at his brother and he let out a long slow breath and nodded. Part of him believed him, but the other part was terrified that she didn’t feel the same way about him.
Perry smirked. “Didn’t realise our sweet little teacher had such a jealous streak in ‘er.”
Rhett gave his brother a wry smile. “Reckon it was the hottest thin’ I’ve ever seen.”
Perry laughed and smacked him across the back of head. “Stop thinkin’ with your dick for once. Just apologise for bein’ such a fuckin’ moron. And tell that girl how you feel.”
Rhett nodded again. He couldn’t promise he wasn’t going to think with his cock. After witnessing that display, part of him wanted to pin YFN to the closest surface and fuck her hard. But he needed to talk to her and make sure she knew how wrong Maria was.
And tell her how much he loved her.
Perry snorted. “You’re gonna be the one to call dad and explain. Even if it’s not your fault, I hope you’re ready to get chewed out, ‘cause god knows he thinks the world of that girl.”
Fuck.
Rhett winced; he was right. Royal was probably going to whoop his ass.
But he was actually more concerned about the moment Cecelia found out that he’d finally figured out that he loved YFN and then possibly fucked it up.
She might actually kill him.
………
The drive back to Abbott ranch was mostly quiet, save the country music on the radio and Perry’s snores from the front passenger seat as Royal drove. There was an air of thick tension between YFN and Rhett, who sat in the back bench of Royal’s dual cab truck.
Rhett tried to avoid the many menacing and disappointed glares his father was shooting him in the review mirror. When he called and honestly told him everything that had happened, Royal had threatened to cut his balls off if he didn’t fix it with YFN.
YFN cleared her throat. “Thanks again for comin’ to get us, Mr Abbott.”
“I’ve told you a hundred times to call me Royal, sweetheart. And you’re welcome. These drunk assholes were lucky you needed a lift, or they would’ve been sleepin’ in Perry’s truck,” he said gruffly.
His father turned into the driveway of their ranch, and she laughed at the statement, still sounding a bit tipsy.
Rhett’s head was still fuzzy from the tequila too, so he knew he’d probably end up saying something stupid. But he had no idea what YFN was thinking, she hadn’t spoken to him since the incident at the bar and he couldn’t take it anymore.
“YFN I…”
“Listen Rhett…”
They spoke at the same time, and in the darkness of the truck, he saw YFN look at him with a small smile.
He didn’t care that Royal could hear, he had to fix this. “She’s wrong you know. What she said to you. It’s bullshit.” Rhett said softly.
YFN sighed. “She’s right ‘bout my family. My dad likes her better. I- I don’t know why. It just hurt when she said it out loud. And it makes me miss my mamma.”
Rhett searched her face, she looked so vulnerable, and it made his chest ache. “He’s a piece of shit then. Your mamma loved you so much. And you are so loved YFN, by everyone else in this town.”
He took a deep steadying breath. “Darlin’ I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”
“What are you apologisin’ for?” she asked softly as the truck pulled up to the house.
Rhett peered at her anxiously. “’Cause I’ve hurt you. I’m a fuckin’ idiot. That shit with Maria tonight. And I screwed up our friendship ‘fore,” he said slowly.
“You can be an idiot Rhett at times, that’s for sure,” she chuckled lightly. “But I don’t blame you ‘bout Maria. It’s just what she does, we are all just pieces in her game. And we were just stupid kids back then, Rhett. You can let that go,” she said honestly in a quiet voice.
She wasn’t angry at him. That can’t be right.
He stared at her in disbelief as Royal smacked Perry across the chest to rouse him and they both got out of the truck, leaving Rhett and YFN in the back seat.
“Why ain’t you upset with me?” Rhett asked hesitantly.
“I don’t know… I guess maybe I am a little…” YFN gave him a shy, smile. And she unexpectedly giggled, and the sound went straight to his groin.
Jesus. Not now.
He knew now was not the time to be thinking about this, but he couldn’t help it, he found the smallest things about her so fucking sexy.
She scrunched her nose up. “Sorry. I’m still a bit buzzed.”
YFN let out a slow breath and her eyes met his. “Look. I know you went to talk to Maria first and that’s honestly okay. But then you looked at me like… and the way you were acting… I just thought tonight felt different. Anyway don’t worry ‘bout it. It was probably just me. And tequila makes people do stupid things.”
She dropped her head and focused on the fingers that picked at her jeans.
Rhett suppressed a grin; she still wanted him. He moved across to the middle seat and softly cupped YFN’s cheek with his hand, “Darlin’. Look at me.”
And she lifted her head to look at him with wide eyes.
“It wasn’t the booze makin’ me hard all night.”
Shit.
Fucking tequila.
YFN sucked in a sharp breath and Rhett winced at his choice of words. “Sorry. God I’m fuckin’ terrible at this.” He went to pull his hand off her cheek, but YFN grabbed his wrist and stopped him.
Even in the dull light of the truck, he could see the blush on her neck and the sparkle in her eyes and it encouraged him to try again.
“Look darlin’, I know I’m a mess and I’ve been so fuckin’ slow to catch on…” he chuckled before he looked lovingly into her eyes. “It was different between us tonight. I promise it wasn’t just you. It’s you that I want. YFN I’m in l…”
“Miss YLN!” Amy yelled out loudly through the truck window and they both jumped at the sound and it halted Rhett’s attempted confession.
Fuck.
This was probably the first time Rhett had ever been annoyed with his niece. He dropped his hand, and YFN blushed darker and broke their eye contact as Amy opened her door, and practically pulled her out of the truck and towards the house.
Rhett was pissed Amy had interrupted the moment, but from YFN’s behaviour he was certain he hadn’t screwed it up with her. He got out of the truck to follow the girls, a small grin on his face, only to be met with a ‘spanish inquisition’ from his family.
“Amy interrupt somethin’ little brother?” Perry laughed drunkenly and Rhett gave him the finger.
Royal started “That cow of a sister always had your nuts in a vice when you were younger. And sounds like she hasn’t changed. That ain’t on you. But if you’re just after YFN for the sake of a drunk lay…”
“No. Listen…” Rhett put up his hands in defence, “That’s not what this is. Yeah, I drank a bit…” and Cecelia him an intense look. “Fine. I drank a lot. But this is real. I’m in love with her.”
“Did you tell her? Before that business with Maria?” Cecelia asked, and Rhett shook his head. “For goodness sakes. Been waitin’ forever for you to realise that you love her. I should slap you stupid,” she chided.
Perry chuckled. “Ma it ain’t his fault that her sister’s a fuckin’…”
“Watch your mouth, Perry. Rhett you better be all in with her, ‘cause she’s loved you for a long time.” Cecelia said seriously.
“I am. I swear. I know I don’t deserve her.” Rhett said honestly.
“Well make sure you do.” Royal grunted.
Rhett nodded at his father. “Can she stay? She didn’t say a whole lot, but it doesn’t sound like she wants to be at home.”
“Fast mover hey Rhett. Just figured out you love her and already want to move her in.” Perry laughed and Royal smacked him across the back of the head.
Cecelia nodded and smiled. “See if we can’t get you sobered up ‘fore you get too far ahead of yourself and ask her to marry you,” she teased.
“YFN’s welcome as long as she wants. That girl’s been family for a long time. If she actually still wants to be with your stupid ass, she can bunk with you Rhett. Don’t you disrespect her and make me fuckin’ regret it. Remember she’s Amy’s teacher for christ sakes.” Royal said in warning.
Rhett smirked. “I’ll do my best.” And he was smacked on the back of the head by Cecelia as Perry burst out laughing.
………
After they all sat around the kitchen table and ate the late supper Cecelia had made for them, Rhett and YFN sobered up pretty quickly. Rhett’s family was a little fucked-up, but even with all their issues, they loved one another, and always supported each other when it mattered. YFN had been part of their family since they were kids and obviously cared about them, but tonight it was clear to Rhett, just how much they loved her too.
After supper, Royal and Cecelia had let YFN know that she was welcome to stay with them as long as she wanted to, because she had always been as good as their own daughter in their eyes. The beautiful, bewildered look on her face at their confession, made Rhett’s heart swell. And the pained grimace on Perry’s face when she kicked him in the balls under the table, for his smug, whispered comment about how that makes Rhett and YFN brother and sister who fuck, made his cheeks hurt from grinning.
Amy was excited to have her teacher hanging out with her and was glued to YFN’s side for the rest of the night, until her bedtime rolled around. Rhett was pretty miffed because his niece had already ruined his botched declaration of love and he wanted nothing more to tell and show YFN how he felt.
He had to make do with what he could get with Amy around, so took the chance and reached for her hand under the table and threaded his fingers with hers and was rewarded with a bright smile. Rhett couldn’t complain, because even the simple touch made his skin tingle and heart flutter. He’d never felt anything like it before and Cecelia smiled knowingly at him when she caught him trying to hide the stupid grin on his face.
After everyone else was in bed and the alcohol had worn off, Perry’s mood started to slide, so he too, retired upstairs. But, to Rhett and YFN’s shock, he came back down with a set of Rebecca’s clothes, so YFN had something to wear in the morning. Perry had watery eyes as she hugged him tightly and thanked him for looking after her.
Rhett was so grateful for his gesture, but he did worry how changes like this would affect his brother. But that only lasted for a split second because when he pulled him into a quick hug to thank him, Perry teasingly whispered, “Enjoy your night… sister fucker,” and took off before Rhett could tackle him to the ground.
He loved his family, he really did, but he was ecstatic once they’d all finally gone to bed. Rhett desperately needed to tell YFN how he felt. And he was going to fucking explode if he didn’t get his hands on her. It had taken all of his concentration to not get hard around his family, from her gentle touches and sweet smiles. He’d never wanted anyone this badly before.
Rhett had already quickly showered when they first got home so he sat on his bed in his room while he waited for YFN to finish in the bathroom. Now that they were going to be alone, he was actually really nervous. He’d never been in love or had a girlfriend before, so he had no fucking clue what he was doing. There was a high chance he could still fuck this up.
YFN hadn’t rejected him, and his family had all said that YFN loved him, but she hadn’t actually told him that. Rhett’s mind was going into overdrive. What if all she wanted was something casual or what if he misread everything and she didn’t want him at all.
Fuck.
Wouldn’t that be fucking ironic.
He pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes at the thought. It had only been a few hours since he figured his feelings out, but Rhett knew he would do whatever she wanted to make her happy, even if it killed him. He’d just play it cool, feel out the situation before he said something that would screw it all up.
“You look deep in thought there baby. You okay?” YFN’s soft, melodic voice filled his bedroom, and he uncovered his eyes to watch her gently shut the door.
She was barefoot, hair damp from the shower and she wore one of his old t-shirts and a pair of Rebecca’s sleep shorts.
Fuck she was beautiful.
“I’m in love with you.” Rhett blurted out.
Well shit.
She padded over to where he was sitting on the edge of the bed and stood just between the front of his open legs as he sat on the bed. He searched her face for her reaction.
“That’s what you were tryin’ to tell me before Amy cockblocked us?” she said, one corner of her mouth quirked in a tiny smile as she looked down at him.
He nodded and tentatively reached out and rested his hands on her shapely hips, and she took a half step closer to him.
YFN ghosted her hands over his bare shoulders until they rested at the back of his neck and Rhett shivered. “And you’re sure? In love with me? Like you want to be together?” she questioned softly, but from the growing smile and delight in her eyes, he knew she knew the answer.
“Fuck yes, I’m in love with you.” Rhett dipped his hands under the hem of his t-shirt she wore. His palms burned as they splayed on the soft skin of her waist and he pulled her even closer. “It just hit me like a ton of bricks tonight.”
Her fingers played with his hair. “Me and no one else?” YFN asked, this time with slight nervousness in her voice.
Rhett sighed. “I know I’ve got ‘round. Not real proud of that now to be honest.”
He gazed up at her lovingly. “But darlin’ I’ve never loved anyone else. Only you. I reckon I’ve always belonged to you. YFN, you branded my heart and soul a long time ago.”
YFN’s eyes shone brightly at him, and she bit her lip to hide the wide smile that graced her lips. “That was pretty fuckin’ romantic for a man who’s never been in love. Are you sure its not the tequila talkin’?”
Rhett tipped his head back and chuckled quietly. “Woman you better put me out of my misery…”
And he was cut off by her soft lips touching his.
Warmth spread through him and as he started to respond to the kiss, she pulled away and he pouted. YFN laughed lightly and moved to straddle his legs and eased herself into his lap. “Sorry for teasin’. But I’ve been waitin’ a long-time to hear you say that. I’m in love with you, Rhett. Always have been.”
He grinned at her words. “I’m so fuckin’ glad you didn’t stop.”
“Me too. Done talkin’ now. Let’s see if you can last longer than when you were sixteen,” she teased as she ground her hips on him.
Fuck.
He groaned, and captured her mouth in a passionate kiss.
………
Low sunlight poured through his bedroom window as Rhett stretched out his long limbs. He had managed to sleep in later than normal, and even though it was Saturday, there was work to do. Royal was going to have his head. YFN was no longer beside him and he frowned that he woke up without getting to kiss her good morning.
Rhett had never paid a lot of attention to kissing in the past, it was just something to set sex in motion. He’d never kissed anyone for as long as he did last night, and he’d happily keep kissing YFN’s plump, pink lips for the rest of his life.
To be honest, he’d be more than happy to have his mouth on any part of her.
And that had been Rhett’s undoing.
The reason why he barely lasted longer than when they were sixteen.
A huge grin overtook Rhett’s face as he recalled the events of last night. Even though, they stayed pretty quiet, thank fuck his bedroom was at the end of the hall away from everyone else’s.
“I wanna hear you tell me again that you love me babygirl.” Rhett begged, voice muffled by the nipple in his mouth as he fingers teased YFN’s pussy.
“Kiss me and I’ll tell you,” she mewled as she arched her back slightly, pushing her full tits deeper into his face.
YFN whined as he let go of her nipple with a pop and withdrew his fingers from her wetness. Rhett settled his face between her legs and inhaled her deeply.
Jesus.
She propped herself up onto her elbows and peered down at him. “W-what are you d-doing?”
Rhett smirked at her as he pushed her legs apart. “Kissin’ you so you tell me.” And he groaned as he licked the length of her pussy.
Fuck.
He hadn’t done this too often in the past, most of his experience was quick fucks in his truck or blow jobs at a bar. But the intoxicating smell and sweet taste of YFN’s pussy, made him want to go down on her for hours.
Rhett licked her pussy, circled her clit and fucked her with his tongue like a man fucking starved. His rock hard cock ached as he intently watched YFN breathe heavily through her nose and bite her lip hard to suppress her pretty noises.
He slapped her ass to remind her of what he wanted. “Fuck Rhett I-I ah… I fuckin’ love you,” she moaned quietly, and he groaned into her pussy, the vibrations causing YFN to buck into his face.
Rhett teased her entrance with a finger before slipping it inside her tight, wet heat.
“Yes baby. Another.” YFN demanded.
Fuck.
He did exactly what she asked for and added one then two more fingers into her tightness as he sucked on her clit. He rutted his throbbing dick into the bed sloppily as he fucked her pussy slowly and purposely with his fingers.
YFN whined breathlessly and threaded her hands into his hair. “Oh god. Right there baby. Don’t change. Such a good boy for me. Gonna make me cum.”
Jesus christ.
Rhett’s eyes rolled back in his head, and he moaned at the praise.
That’s new.
Even lost in her pleasure, YFN noticed his reaction. “You like me tellin’ you that huh baby.”
He met her eyes, they were full of desire and love, and with his mouth still on her, he nodded.
YFN bit her lip and tipped her head back and softly moaned. “Mmmm… You’re so good at this. My sweet boy. Makin’ me feel so fuckin’ good. Fuck me faster baby… I’m so close…”
He did just that and pumped her pussy faster with his fingers and grazed his teeth on her clit. YFN’s taste, her heat, her hands in his hair, her fucking praise; it all went straight to his dick and Rhett ground his hips into the mattress.
“Oh fuck. I’m gonna…” YFN muffled her voice into his pillow as she yanked on his hair and arched her back off the bed and came. Rhett followed her body with his mouth and sucked on her clit, and fucked her through it with his fingers as lapped up her sweetness.
Holy shit.
Watching her orgasm was just as good, actually even better than it had been when they were teenagers, and he almost just came embarrassingly quickly like he was still sixteen.
After she’d ridden out her high, she stilled his movements with her hand and pulled him up her body by his hair. She met his lips with a sloppy kiss and moaned when she tasted herself on him.
“So fuckin’ good Rhett,” she whispered. “Are you clean baby? I am and I’m on birth control.”
Rhett nodded eagerly. “You sure?”
YFN reached down and wrapped her small hand around his hard cock, and he hissed. She guided him between her thighs, and he pushed himself into her tight, wet pussy.
Fuck.
YFN moaned and Rhett made a pained, whining sound as he was enveloped by her heat. His balls had already started to feel heavy, and he hadn’t even moved.
“Babygirl… Reckon I’m gonna fuckin’ blow my load as soon as I start movin’,” he said in a strangled voice and breathed in and out heavily through his nose.
YFN ran her fingers through his hair and her hazy eyes looked deeply into his. “Don’t care baby. Just fuck me. Cum inside me. Fill me up.”
Jesus fucking christ.
His sweet girl had a fuckin’ dirty mouth on her. “You’re gonna kill me.” Rhett grunted.
He laid over the top of her and kissed YFN as he thrust in and out of her lazily for a moment. She whined when he pulled out as he lifted his body off her and pushed her knees to her chest. Rhett kneeled in front of her, and they groaned as he entered her again in one quick motion. He snapped his hips into her hard and fast, she was so tight and wet, and he quickly felt the tell-tale tingle in his spine.
“My good boy. Fuckin’ me so well. Take what you need baby.” YFN purred.
Her words pushed Rhett over the edge and with the next stroke of his cock he suddenly came hard. “Fuuuck,” he cried out and he buried his face into his forearm to mask his groan.
Holy shit.
YFN lowered and opened her shaking legs as Rhett pulled out. He grabbed the closest item of clothing he could find and messily cleaned her pussy before tucking it under her to catch the leaking cum. And then he collapsed on the bed next to her.
Rhett turned to face YFN. She was flushed pink and had a relaxed, fucked-out smile on her face and he cupped her cheek and kissed her deeply.
YFN giggled. “You lasted a little bit longer this time. Good to see the last ten years helped.”
He grinned at her cheekiness. “You fuckin’ brat. You know I can go longer, and I promise I can make you cum while I fuck you. It’s just that mouth on you was a real surprise. I nearly blew my load on the fuckin’ mattress. You didn’t talk like that last time.”
“Mmm-hmm. I noticed you liked a little praise huh baby. My mouth can do a lot of things by the way. Like I said. The ten years helped,” she teased.
“Jesus christ. How are you real? How did I not really see you for all these years darlin’.” Rhett looked at YFN in wonder and he pushed strands of her hair off her face.
YFN yawned. “Doesn’t matter anymore baby. You see me now.”
Rhett beamed at her. “Yeah, I do beautiful. The selfless girl who adores my crazy family. The funny, passionate woman who loves me for the idiot I am. My best friend. You’re the girl. I love you so much.”
“Bloody hell Rhett. You’re so fuckin’ romantic. Where the hell did this come from.” YFN said, eyes full of love and awe.
Rhett shrugged. “A shared bottle of tequila and a decade of repressed feelin’s,” he teased, and she smacked him across the chest.
YFN laughed sleepily. “C’mon I gotta go clean up. It’s bad enough I’ve gotta face your family tomorrow knowing what we did. I better not be full of your cum when I do”
Yep. She was definitely the girl.
………
Rhett groaned at the erection he sported from thinking about last night with YFN. He knew he was running late, so he ignored it and quickly pulled on jeans, t-shirt, boots and grabbed his Stetson and headed to the bathroom before going downstairs.
As he reached the kitchen, the sound of YFN and Amy’s laughter filled his ears. Royal and Perry sat at the table and drank coffee, Amy was in the middle of the room chattering away, and Cecelia and YFN stood at the sink.
“Finally decided to join us.” Royal grunted as Rhett rubbed sleep from his eyes.
“Sorry,” he replied simply, and Cecelia faced him and gave him a small smile.
Amy smiled widely at him. “Uncle Rhett. Daddy told me Miss YLN’s your girlfriend now, so she’s allowed to sleep over.” Perry laughed at his daughter’s honesty.
“And he gave her somethin’ of mammas to wear. Doesn’t she look pretty?” she said as she pointed at YFN.
YFN turned slightly, her hands still in the soapy dish water, and gave him a shy smile.
Rhett halted and it felt like his breath left his body.
Jesus.
She wore her boots and a navy-blue sundress covered in flowers and it hugged those curves he now knew intimately. She looked fucking gorgeous.
“Ah… yeah Amy. She sure does,” he croaked out.
Rhett wasn’t sure exactly what to do next. He’d never been in a situation quite like this before. The woman he loved, stood in his kitchen doing something domestic while looking so sinful. He tried not to think too much about it otherwise he might have an embarrassing situation to control in front of his family.
He crossed the kitchen towards her, ruffling Amy’s hair as he walked past. Rhett hesitated when he reached YFN, he didn’t really know how boyfriends greeted their girlfriends in front of their family.
“Hi.” YFN said softly from her place in front of the sink. Her warm smile and the soft blush on her cheeks, encouraged him to just do what felt natural to him.
Rhett moved behind her and loosely placed his arms around her waist, his hat against her hip. “Mornin’ darlin’.” And he rested his chin on her shoulder when she turned back to the task of washing the dishes.
Royal cleared his throat. “So YFN’s gonna come stay with us. Get some breakfast into you Rhett. You and Perry gotta go with her to collect Cherry and her things. And you still got chores.”
Rhett and YFN hadn’t actually talked about that. They spent their night doing other things. YFN’s body stiffened ever so slightly, but enough for Rhett to know she was probably worried about his reaction.
“That sounds good to me,” he murmured lovingly, and he felt her body relax. Without giving it much thought, Rhett lifted the hand that held his Stetson, and he gently placed his hat on her head. YFN gasped softly and he placed a tender kiss at the juncture of her neck and shoulder.
“Here you go Rhett.” Cecelia said, with watery eyes and a wide smile on her face as she offered him a plate of breakfast.
He released YFN and took the offered plate from his mother and she patted his cheek affectionately. “Thank you, ma.”
Rhett sat down on the opposite side of the table to where YFN stood at the sink, now drying dishes and he watched as she returned to chatting with Amy and Cecelia.
“Who the fuck are you? And what have you done with my brother?” Perry chuckled, no doubt talking about the soft, romantic display he’d just witnessed, and Rhett gave him the finger.
He looked over when YFN laughed hard at something that Amy had said. Her head was tipped back, and she held his hat on her head with one hand. Her eyes were closed, and her pink lips had parted as she laughed. The fabric of the dress strained tight against YFN’s full tits, and they jiggled with every sound she made.
Rhett’s cock stirred, his mind pictured her looking just like this, dressed hiked up around her waist as she rode him.
Holy fuck.
He shook the thought from his head and YFN turned to him and beamed at him, and a dumb, blissful smile overtook Rhett’s face.
Perry snorted. “That’s it. There’s that stupid smile from when you were sixteen.”
He laughed. His brother was probably right, and it confirmed what Rhett believed. That YFN had branded him as hers a long time ago.
Rhett’s eyes flitted to him as Perry got up out of his chair. He wore a taunting smile and mouthed ‘Sister fucker’. Rhett jumped out of his chair and launched himself at Perry and they laughed as they wrestled to the ground. Royal grunted and Cecelia threw a dish towel at them. Amy jumped on top of them, and Perry tickled her. And YFN squealed in surprise when Rhett grabbed her ankle.
His life still wasn’t perfect, but just like that, it had become much more.
#rhett abbott#rhett abbott x reader#rhett abbott fic#rhett abbott imagine#rhett abbott smut#outer range fic#outer range#outer range imagine#perry abbott#lewis pullman
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Prison Break- Part 3 (Leon Kennedy x Reader series)
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
CW: Death Island spoilers, suicidal tendencies and thoughts
WC: 1812
Summary: Flash back chapter!
Tag list:
A/N: This is so self indulgent, my birthday and hometown make an appearance whoops.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ☆. ───
30 June, 2013
Leon sat down at his desk, rubbing the headache away at his temple. With Simmons now gone, the D.S.O. had to do some major rebuilding; both physical, hiring new staff, and metaphorical, public relations. He dug through his pocket and found the makeup compact that he had stashed yesterday.
His hands turned it over, wondering about his life and hers, if it was really worth pursuing, and if it was fair to a potential partner for him to still be caught up with Ada. He wondered if she would stop being “the one that got away” for him and if he could let go of her. It was either that, or stay alone for the rest of his life, that he was sure of.
It wasn’t Ada’s fault, Leon was mature enough to put all the hurt she caused aside. He knew that she did what she had to for her job, just like he did. They were two sides of the same coin, destined to never be together.
The stack of papers hitting his desk took him away from his daydream. Leon looked up to see a woman with glasses and a business suit. Hunnigan’s hand was still on the stack of papers she put on his desk.
“Read up,” She said. “This is your new field partner.”
Her words caught Leon off-guard.
“Partner?” He asked. His finger brushed his bangs out of his face so he could read the file correctly, but Hunnigan’s hand wouldn’t budge.
“Partner,” She replied and grinned.
“What? You got tired of having to deal with me so I need a babysitter?” Leon retorted.
“You could say that,” She said. Leon went to grab the papers, but her hand held them more. “Promise me one thing though before you look at it.”
Leon’s eyebrow shot up at the request, but nonetheless he nodded.
“Don’t judge them until you meet them,” Hunnigan almost pleaded.
At her words, Leon sat up in his chair more. “Now you’ve pique my interest,” He chuckled and gestured for her to take her hands off of the papers.
Hunnigan took her hands off the stack and Leon almost immediately swiped them. His sly blue eyes darted around the page, his eyebrows knitting as he read.
“She doesn’t look like-“ he got cut off by Hunnigan staring at him. He grumbled and read the paper more, soaking in your name and age to his memory. From the looks of it, he would be babysitting- something he didn’t want to do.
“She meets all the requirements, physical and recommendations,” Hunnigan said, her eyes piercing Leon’s.
“Who’s giving her a recommendation?” Leon asked, not looking up from the paper.
“Me,” she replied and smiled. “Don’t beat her up too much, you’ll walk away with a bloody nose,” she added, chuckling.
Leon looked up from the paper and she was gone. Maybe it would be good to have a constant in his life, someone that he could rely on. One of his hands fiddled with the compact while he kept reading your file. You were a normal person up until 2005. As soon as he read the words that followed the date of January 31, 2005, he knew he wanted to meet you and pick your brain.
January 31, 2005: Umbrella Factory contained outbreak. Casualty: 1
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ☆. ───
31 January, 2005
You were an art student studying at University of New Hampshire. Sure, it wasn’t your first pick, and the main campus in Durham would’ve been better, but your family convinced you to stay one town over from them. You needed to get out of your hometown of apple orchards, racists, and pumpkin patches, but wanted to appease your parents at the same time.
So you settled for the next town over in a mini campus.
You were making your way back to your apartment with a tray full of iced coffee and cold brew for you and your roommate, who’d been feeling under the weather lately. She had taken a trip with her biochem class to the Umbrella factory right on the river yesterday, and came back with a slight fever.
This morning wasn’t any better, she was barely response and refused to go to class. She never missed class.
You opened the door to your apartment and was met with a chilling silence.
“Anna?” You called through the apartment, clearing the threshold and putting the tray on the kitchen counter. “I got your coffee!” You said, kicking off your snow boots and taking your jacket off. “I even went to Dunks even though there’s a perfectly good independently owned shop two blocks from here.” You were sure those words would send your roommate running towards you, but nothing.
Nothing.
Silence.
Then a sound, almost like a growling, but not quite. And a squelching sound. Coming from Anna’s room.
You stepped through the hallway, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up with every step and creak in the floorboards under your feet. The sound of ice ratting against the plastic cup echoed through the now daunting hallway.
You wouldn’t call yourself a survivalist by any means, but you’d watch Scary Movie enough to know to be quiet.
Setting down the tray of coffee, you quietly opened the bedroom door. Perched on her bed like a gargoyle, your roommate Anna was hunched over, staring outside the window, twitching.
Your hands quietly grabbed her field hockey stick, the same one that was always leaned up against her bookshelf.
The floorboards creaked under your foot as you tried to scooch closer.
Your roomates head whipped around to the sound and what you saw sent a chill down your spine. Her skin was completely grey, some of it looking like it was separating from her body. Her eyes were big and cloudy, cuts all over her face.
She lunged towards you and that’s when you swung the field hockey stick.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ☆. ───
1 July, 2013
You were sitting across from Leon’s desk, in a chair that wasn’t the most comfortable thing ever. Looking over his desk you could conclude that he was either single, or he liked to keep things close to the sleeve; both you could respect. His stuff was laid out in a way that looked like everything had a place, it was a tiny bit messy, but you could tell everything was where it was on purpose.
The door opened and you looked over your shoulder to see the man you be partners with for the foreseeable future.
“Shit, am I late?” He asked.
His hair was a medium brunette, parted to the side so he had bangs and it was creeping down his neck. You could tell he put a lot of effort into his hair with how it was styled and cut. The black leather jacket and dark blue button down complimented his dark washed jeans well and his boots looked like they were prestine. This man definitely cared about his looks, whether only slightly or a lot was still up for debate. The one thing that stuck out to you the most was his gaze. His eyes were blue, like the ocean and the sky mixed together.
Usually, you’d find that stare unsettling, but his carried a sense of friendliness and humor.
“No, I’m early,” you replied, eyes trailing him as he put a tray of iced coffees on his desk. He stuck out his hand to shake and you accepted it. He had a firm, yet relaxed handshake.
“Hunnigan told me your coffee order. Cold brew with a quad shot, oatmilk, and hazelnut,” he smiled as he held out the cup to you.
Your eyebrows shot up in surprise and you nodded. “Yeah, thanks,” you said and took the cup, sipping on it.
“You know, that amount of caffeine will give you a heart attack….” He trailed off as he watched you suck the coffee down to half empty in about a few seconds. His face was a mix of horror and respect.
“Trust me, I’ve had four of these in a day before. I’ll be fine,” you said, coming up for air after demolishing half of the coffee. You put it down on the floor by the chair leg so you wouldn’t finish it yet.
“Damn, okay,” Leon chuckled and sat down in his chair. “So, (L/n)….” He said. “Not that I don’t think you can handle this sort of work…”
Your eyes met his, your frown almost souring. This time, you had hoped it would be different. Sure, you didn’t look like you could put in the hard work that the DSO did, but you were here.
“If you’re questioning my skills, then yours should also be questioned. Our stories are more alike than you think,” you retorted.
The words came out of your mouth before you could think, and you regretted them instantly. Grabbing the coffee, you got ready for Leon to tell you off and kick you out of his office, but looking up you saw him holding back a… chuckle?
“Someone’s read up on me,” He said, the hitch in his voice from laughter evident. “I take back what I said,” He added and gave you a slight smile.
He handed you a piece of paper, the top reading “Agent Contract D.S.O.”.
“I’m looking forward to working with you, (L/n),” He said, handing you a pen.
“Same, and you can call me (Y/n).” You replied, signing the paper.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ☆. ───
“(Y/n)?” Two voices that were mixing together in your mind woke you up. Your eyes shot open and you registered the pain in your body first, the difficulty breathing second, and the cell you were in last.
“(Y/n)?” A familiar voice said again. You turned your head to where the voice was coming from and saw a familiar face you couldn’t quite make out yet.
Once your eyes adjusted, her face came into focus; a brunette ponytail, blue eyes, and a striking red leather jacket.
“..Claire..?” You asked groggily. She seemed to be in the same boat as you; her movements sluggish, her breathing labored.
“Yeah…. Chris is here too…” she said and gestured to the wall behind her.
“What are you two doing here?” You asked between breaths.
“Terrasave and the BSAA are checking out a source for bioweapons,” Chris’s voice was heard saying. “I’m guessing if you’re here, then Leon is too.”
“Yeah.. we’re here tracing a robotics engineer,” you added. Looking around the cell, you saw another person in there. Once you made out his face, your eyes widened. “And what do you know, guess I found him, Antonio Taylor.” You added.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ☆. ───
Catch it early on my AO3!
#resident evil fanfic#leon kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy x reader#resident evil fanfiction#leon s kennedy x you
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I'm the one that left the comment on the post critiquing your take on inner dialogue and plurality that mentioned my understanding of how trains of thought would work and why a thought process akin to Kronk's dialogue with his shoulder angel/devil doesn't seem to imply that he's "plural" in my opinion. I don't really agree with your rebuttal, that in that example he'd be plural due to the pronouns they use, how they interact, have their own memories, etc.
My comment was again, my understanding of how some people have mental trains of thought. I think it's important to note that everyone thinks/rationalizes differently. Some without words at all but rather things like the perception of the world around them and emotions. They may not think "that's a beautiful photo, I wonder who took it and when. I wish the lighting was a bit better" with those words but they actively feel those things. However the absence of an inner dialogue doesn't mean someone who processes this way without words can't experience something like DID, if that makes sense. Just as someone with it might use "I" and "me". It was hard for me to understand at first how one could "think" without thinking, but I'm mostly going by my understanding and the experiences of people I know and that was also true in my comment as I know others have thought processes like that (and ppl seemed to agree). Which I know isn't a credible source, just different perspectives I've heard based on how different individuals think and process.
It's also normal to my understanding to not only use first person pronouns but also "we", "you", "us", etc. It doesn't mean you perceive yourself as having more than one identity or are otherwise interacting with a different identity with agency and such. I can't imagine that not being normal. For some, it seems thoughts can alternate between feeling like a monologue and dialogue, particularly if you're facing inner conflict or have multiple thoughts on something. I think factors like neurodevelopmental disorders can play a role in this.
A train of thought might interject while someone with a singular identity is thinking about something or having an inner conflict. Someone may think "I think I want ice cream" and another thought might be like "you should have dinner first" and a third may interject as someone remembers something like "wait remember what our doctor said about lactose?". But those pronouns are kind of interchangeable depending on the person, and the memory of the interaction with their doctor brought forth by a train of thought is still their memory. It didn't come from a third party it's just them whereas in someone with alternate identity states, it would be sourced from an alter that is autonomous at least in some regard. I mean is it not possible for that to just be one person at war with themselves? I won't understand how everyone's mind works but that just seems normal. You're you but your thoughts may offer a perspective you didn't initially consider or reference a memory- your memory
So with Kronk again, the back and forth may seem like a dialogue but the difference is that it's sourced from one identity. Might not seem that way but it seems the angel/devil is still his personified inner dialogue. They all experience the same things, have the same memories, and while maybe having different "personalities" everyone has different sides of themselves. Yknow like the evil Kermit meme? One side of you saying to pick up the fallen ice cube and the other saying "you/I/we should kick it under the fridge". Still one person. That's my understanding but again brains work differently even in those with a singular identity state. I hope that's coherent enough (I struggle to condense my words oftentimes) but it just makes sense that a lot of people who think in words would experience it that way? Between what feels like a monologue/dialogue but still being one identity?
These are some fair points.
I would agree that people do just think differently sometimes. And having an inner dialogue or using these sorts of pronouns aren't necessary for plurality. It can even be possible for singlets to have an inner monologue that uses "you" pronouns.
Before going on, for what constitutes a person, I want to being up John Locke's definition of personhood, defining a person as...
a thinking intelligent Being, that has reason and reflection, and can consider it self as itself, the same thinking thing in different times and places
This is what I tend to mean when I say headmates are people.
This is also a general criteria I use for differentiating between multiple and singlet experiences. (With the caveat that plurality is a spectrum and there's a gray area in the middle for median systems.)
A headmate in my opinion follows the same pattern.
1. A headmate can think
2. It's capable of reason and reflection
3. It can consider itself as itself the same thinking being in different times and places.
The first is a bit redundant. Criteria two can't really be true if criteria one isn't. These two though are able to rule out a lot of psychotic hallucinations and dream characters from personhood, as most aren't capable of self-reflection.
The third criteria is actually two in one. It's being able to recognize yourself in different times and places. But it's also being able to distinguish yourself in different times and places.
To recognize when an action is yours and when it's someone else's.
Another layer to this is that it inherently implies some sort of persistence and autobiographical memories. After all, you can't recognize yourself in the past if you don't have a past.
With this context in mind, I'd like to step back to the Kronk point.
So with Kronk again, the back and forth may seem like a dialogue but the difference is that it's sourced from one identity. Might not seem that way but it seems the angel/devil is still his personified inner dialogue. They all experience the same things, have the same memories, and while maybe having different "personalities" everyone has different sides of themselves.
I don't actually agree that they have the same memories.
At least not entirely.
See, they'll each remember the same things happening. They'll each know the general events. But they'll each relate to memories differently.
If Kronk were to recall the conversations he's had with the Angel and Devil Kronks, he would likely recall it in terms "I said this, The Angel said that, the Devil responded this way," etc.
Kronk wouldn't consider their thoughts or actions to be his own. And this would go both ways. If you asked the Angel about things Kronk did, the angel would likely recall those in terms of Kronk doing those things. He wouldn't have a feeling of "I poisoned Kuzco." Because he didn't. Kronk did.
What is happening here can best be described as compartmentalization dissociation. The Angel, the Devil and the core Kronk are dissociated from each other, and don't view the actions of other members as their own.
"Trains of Thought"
I don't believe you're using this term the way most people would use it. When the majority of people refer to having multiple trains of thoughts, they're referring to an ability to think multiple things simultaneously.
What they aren't generally referring to is these "trains of thought" having their own intelligence, identity and recall.
You don't have a "train of thought" that thinks of itself as a separate entity from you, and will still remember things it told you a week later.
If you do have multiple "trains of throught" that are able to think for themselves, have their own distinct sense of self and autobiographical memories, and are self-conscious being able to recognize themselves as separate agents, I think you should consider that maybe your "trains" were people all along.
#syscourse#emperor's new groove#kronk#plural#plurality#multiplicity#sysblr#system stuff#system#systems#pro endo#pro endogenic#psychology#philosophy#plural system#actually plural#actually a system
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Broken Prism
Chapter 14
Fandom: Red Hood
Pairing: Jason Toddxfemale!Reader
Warnings: some violence
Summary: Jason wakes up
Notes: so I got another pretty nasty anon ask about this story, I deleted it because I didn't want that kind of negativity again, but I want to thank all of you who have liked, replied, or reblogged this fic and I hope you continue to enjoy it!
Jason woke up to the familiar sight of his room at the League of Assassins stronghold. He sat up and stretched, feeling bones creak and muscles relax after a night on the uncomfortable cot. He grabbed his clothes and dressed, going to find Ras for his assignment. He greeted no one as he walked to the head’s office, and no one greeted him. In fact, he noticed that anyone he passed he immediately forgot their face as he went. This was strange but he ignored that and knocked on the door. Ras called him in and gave him a list of targets in Gotham City. Jason nodded and bowed before leaving and getting on the private jet of the League.
Upon arrival he looked at the first names on the list. Catherine and Willis Todd. Those names were familiar, but he ignored that and went to the address listed. It was just an apartment, they were already in the living room, sitting on the couch watching TV. When he came in they didn’t say anything, the woman looked almost dead already, eyes gazing unfocused at the screen and the man just grunted. He was confused. They didn’t have any crimes he knew of, and the woman had his eyes. He heard Ras’s voice telling him that he needed to kill them, for him. They held him back. But they were his parents. He ignored this thought and shot the woman in the heart, the man in the head, placing the revolver he used in the man’s hand. Murder suicide, easy to cover up. Jason left the way he came in, forgetting about them as soon as he was on the street again. Strange.
The second pair of names sparked more recognition, Tim Drake and Dick Grayson. His…brothers? Well, no not brothers. Dick had forgotten him, and Tim replaced him. Not brothers, traitors. He could feel Ras urging him on as he approached Wayne mansion. He had the key and walked in, going into a familiar living room. Tim and Drake were on the couch waiting, TV on. This time the TV was big enough to see what they were watching. Some action movie with fake Batman, Nightwing, and Robin, they were fighting someone in a red helmet. Stupid. Jason looked at them, choosing this time to just shoot them both in the heart. Once that was done, he looked at the list again. Last name. Bruce Wayne.
He headed down to the Batcave, finding the playboy sitting at the large computer, watching something playing on the screen. It was like a home movie, on the grounds of Wayne manor, the basketball court. Bruce held a ball and was showing a younger Jason, around maybe 12, how to shoot it properly. Jason watched, not sure where the tears had come from, but they were rolling down his cheeks. Ras’s voice told him to stop that crying, that Bruce Wayne wasn’t his father, he had to kill him. He was a pretender, not a protector. Jason pushed all the warmth out of himself, walking up behind Bruce.
“You’ll always be my son Jason,” he heard the man murmur before Jason cut his throat. He turned and came face to face with the Joker, pulling off a Ras Al’Ghul mask.
“Didn’t think I would let you get away that easy did you little Jaybird?” he said before laughing. Jason covered his ears, that sound like an ice pick to his brain. Joker calmed after a time and held up the target list. “One more name.” YN, who was that? Jason took the list and Joker pointed to a door. Jason walked over and opened it.
She sat on her bed, reading a book called The Red Hood’s Soul. It made him sick to see that. Why would she care about his soul? Why would anyone care about him? She looked up and smiled at him, standing and moving towards him. He walked over, dagger ready. She saw it but didn’t stop smiling.
“Jason,” she said, and he stopped right in front of her. “I lov…” He felt a hand on his, the dagger sticking out of her chest, the hand holding his belonging to Joker.
“You just have to kill everyone you love before they can love you back don’t ya? Me too” the clown said before laughing.
“No…nonononononoNONONONO” Jason was screaming, looking at YN still standing there, still smiling at blood poured out of her.
“Jason, JASON!” he heard yelling and sat up, eyes suddenly open as the real world closed it. He was in a nice room, he old room at Wayne manor. He was soaked in sweat, shirtless, and surrounded. He growled and shoved away the person holding him, jumping up and off the bed, getting into a fighting stance before his mind cleared. Alfred was helping YN off the floor, Bruce, Dick, and Tim were watching him, even Barbara was there behind them. It had been a long time since he had seen her. She wasn’t in a wheelchair then. He shook himself.
“What am I doing here?” he asked, looking around. The others looked to YN and Jason did too, finally realizing he had shoved her to the ground. “YN? I’m, I’m sorry…” She looked like she had been crying, face red and eyes puffy. “Did I hurt you?” O God, what had he done.
“Jason I’m fine,” she said. She scrambled over the bed and threw herself into his arms, hugging him tight. Something in him broke at that moment and he knew he didn’t want anything like what that dream to actually happen. He wanted family again, desperately. He wanted YN, desperately. Why had he pushing that away? YN led him to the bed and motioned for him to sit. “Do you remember what happened?” He blinked a few times, trying to clear the cobwebs.
You had Jason sitting on the bed, you were still holding his hand, watching him trying to process what the last 24 hours. You had watched him the entire time he had been unconscious, sleeping bent over his chest, just making sure his heart was still beating. It had been terrifying, you were waiting for the gray to seep in, the only comfort you got was still seeing the color of his skin, his hair, his helmet as it sat on the side table. While he was under you had talked to Bruce who was a wreck.
“Its like I was too late again,” he said, sitting in a chair on the other side of the bed. “That night, when Joker…and Jason…I hadn’t felt grief like that since my parents died. What in your mind tells you that you should stay with him? I know he’s your soulmate, but you don’t have to be together, you could run. You wouldn’t be the first.” In that moment you realized that Bruce had found his soulmate, and they hadn’t stayed around. “How do you possibly deal with this kind of life?”
“Because I know what its like not having him in it, why see color when the person who sees it the same way as you isn’t there?” she said. “I’m sorry, about whoever they were, no everyone can handle this, but I assure you I can. I may not be Barbara or Bernard, I don’t have super smarts or martial arts training, but I’m not afraid to knife someone or shot them. I’m not a vigilante, but I’m enough for him, I hope, because he is more than enough for me, and I won’t let that go. I won’t let him go.”
“I don’t like what he’s become,” Bruce said. “I hate that he didn’t become more like me.”
“Well, honestly, what did you expect? You let Joker live, which I am angry at you about, and he’s your son, not you. You want a carbon copy of you, well you’ll have to get married, have a biological kid, go to a theater and let yourself get murdered when he is 10, and even then, that kid might go the opposite way and become another Joker,” you said. Bruce stared at you, and you were worried he was going to kick you out but then he actually laughed.
“God I am fucked up, aren’t I?” he said softly, more to himself. You just nodded. “When he wakes up do you think he will talk to me, a real talk?”
“Maybe, but you’re going to have to go easy on him for killing Ivy,” you said. Bruce nodded and looked at Jason and you saw in his face how much he was conflicted. He clearly loved Jason but was trying to come to terms with who he was now. You now hoped with Jason awake that they could work things out for the better.
“…and then I remember passing out in the back of the car,” Jason said, finishing explaining the incident with Ivy. Everyone looked from you to him, and you dared them to say anything about him killing Ivy at the moment. If they did, he would feel attacked at his weakest and bolt, they all knew that. Tim opened his mouth and Dick put his hand over it.
“You scared the shit out of us little bird,” Dick said. “Alfred said you need to rest for another day or two, you willing to do that here?” Jason was silent for a long time, then he looked at you as if asking your opinion. You smiled and nodded.
“Ya, I’ll stay here,” he said. “It’ll be weird though. And she has to be here too.” He nodded his head at you.
“What makes you think I want to stay here?” you asked, that little bit of anger you had at his disappearing act rearing up. He looked at you and swallowed.
“Perhaps we should allow Master Jason to get some rest and quality time with Miss YN,” Alfred said, shuffling everyone else out of the room, closing the door behind him.
“Look, I know I fucked up by just vanishing but let me explain,” he said. You opened your mouth to argue, and he held a finger to your lips. “Please.” It was almost pleading so you took a breath and nodded.
“Alright, talk,” you said. He took your hands in his, staring at them like he couldn’t look you in the eye. You gently took his chin and made him look at you. He swallowed hard.
“After that night I went to fuck up a bank job Two-Face was doing. He had Joker with him. I heard that laugh, it still haunts me to this day, and I panicked, full blown attack that had me running to my parents’ apartment, Bruce bought it after they died for a safe house, anyway, and I was there for days, just spiraling. How could I face you? How could you expect me to be anything good for you, to you, when I can’t even be good for myself?” he said. You sighed and took his face in your hands.
“Jason, I’m recommending this with all the soulmate love I have in my heart for you, get therapy,” you said. “Listen, your family, in this house all have a therapist, ask them, get one, and then use them. And this may not be something you want to hear, but talk to Bruce, iron things out with him and Dick and even Tim.” He stared like he couldn’t believe you were saying this.
“Why?” he asked softly. “I only hurt them, I only hurt you.”
“Bullshit, everyone here loves you, you running away is what hurts. You need this family and they need you. I’m not even part of this family and I can see that,” you said. Jason shook his head.
“No, if I’m going to be part of it you are too, you’re my family most of all,” he said. You smiled and leaned to him, hugging him tight. He gripped you for dear life and breathed in your scent, letting it calm him.
“Now, I think you should lay down again and get some more rest,” you said, gently pushing him back to lay down. Jason relented, sliding under the covers before lifting them up. If he was going to rest he needed you with him. You smiled and climbed in, rolling so that your back pressed against his front.
“I missed you,” he said softly, voice already shrouded in sleep.
“I saved where you were in your book,” you answered. You felt him chuckle behind you.
“Thanks,” he slurred out before falling into sleep. You listened to his even breathing, feeling his arm around your waist, your body heat mingling with his until you too fell asleep.
#jasontodd#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#redhood#red hood#red hood x reader#red hood x you#red hood x y/n#brokenprism
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