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clevercatchphrase · 6 years

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You Monster Chpt. 31

Click Here To Read On AO3! Chapters: [First][Previous][Next] Notes: Muffet is french. Don’t question it.

The path after Mettaton’s stage continues to slope upward in a gentle counter clockwise spiral. You only slow down when you can’t see Mettaton’s set anymore, and stop completely when you realize doctor Alphys has fallen behind. Coming to a halt, you wait for her to catch up.

You hear her before you see her, panting and gasping as she jogs up the incline.

“There… there you are…” she wheezes. “Can we take… a five minute break? I can’t…. I can’t catch my breath.”

You nod and find a spot close to the edge to sit for a moment. Alphys all but collapses next to you in a puddle of sweat.

“Thank you!” she moans.

You keep look out while Alphys struggles to get her breathing back under control. You don’t doubt Mettaton could be chasing you. Remembering the items around the work shop, including the blow torches and fully functioning circle saws, you doubt the ankle cuff wouldn’t hold him back for very long. His promise of crossing paths again didn’t feel like an empty threat either. Looking at your track record so far, with one more floor to go you had a feeling that as soon as your back was turned, Mettaton would be preparing another trap and lying in wait up ahead once more.

You can’t see the stage any more, and you haven’t spotted a single bolt or screw of the robot, but for all you know he could have taken off on some other hidden path you don’t know about, or one that was only accessible to rectangular shaped robots, or heck, he could have just blasted off on that rocket booster of his. As far as you know, he could be ten steps ahead of you already.

You sigh, trying to take your mind of the meddlesome robot, and take in your surroundings instead. You’re insanely high off the ground now. The vast magma lake below you looks like nothing more than a puddle. Most of it is obscured by the shadowy levels beneath you, though its intense heat still wafts up and envelops you like a heavy blanket you can’t shake off.

Being so up high does have its perks though. Up here you can see more of Hotland that’s been carved into the volcanoes’ walls, and there are several gaping holes on the west side of the mountain where you can catch glimpses of the starry ceilings of Waterfall. You still can’t see the castle of new home yet. That’s still somewhere above you, but to remember you caught a glimpse of it only yesterday through the opposite end of one of these very tunnels reinvigorates you with new found courage to keep pushing on when you realize how much ground you have truly covered.

While Waterfall can be gleamed from the south west, a new structure comes into view to the north east and you squint your eyes to try and make sense of it. In the distance a giant metal behemoth sits in a lake of lava with massive twisting pipes and cylinders ominously lit by the magma from below. The longer you watch it the more mesmerizing it becomes as pistons and pumps expand and contract with the pulse of the glowing lava. Even from where you stand you can hear the machine’s steady intake of air as it whistles and hisses as if it were alive. Whatever that thing is, it’s absolutely huge, and that’s saying something seeing as you’re still well away from it. You never knew monsters could construct something so gigantic.

“Y-you alright?” Alphys asks you after her breathing is regulated again. “You got really quiet and were just staring off into the distance.”

“Hey Alphys? What’s that machine in the distance?” You ask without taking your eyes off of it.

“Oh that? Th-that’s the Core. It provides power to all of the underground by transforming geothermal energy into magical electricity. It sits right under New Home.”

“So we have to go through that to get to the capital?”

“Y-yeah! B-but only the upper level so don’t be afraid. It’s very stable. The last elevator is in there.”

“Speaking of elevators, looks like we’ve reached the west one.” You point out, nodding at the lift waiting for you at the end of the path.

“Great! This one will take us to the third level which is where we need to go to get to the Core. We’ll still need to cross most of that floor to get there. Hopefully we can before Mettaton notices.”

You board the elevator and push the button for the third floor. It raises you up with a delighted ping and lets you out on the west wing with no troubles this time. Already you can feel a noticeable difference in the air. The ceiling is lower, and everything around you is covered in... Cobwebs?

“Well, I’m glad that elevator is still in working order,” Alphys says. “Come on, we need to keep heading north east to get to the Core.”

You follow along after Alphys, down the corridor. The entire level is made of steel girders and crossbeams with no natural rock reaching this high. Further down the road a picnic table with a red and white checkerboard table cloth is stationed in the middle of the path; a sign is taped to the front with the words “Spider Bake Sale” written in magic marker on the front.

“Uh oh,” Alphys mumbles when she spies the booth up ahead. “W-word of warning; keep your head down and whatever you do, don’t make eye contact with the spiders,” she tells you, grabbing your wrist. “Quick, t-try to get past the table before they notice us.”

“Spiders?” You echo hopefully, your memories of your eight-legged friends in the ruins lifting your heart. You hadn’t seen a spider in ages, and the thought of finding something to remind you of home fills you with longing. Resisting Alphys’ hand, you turn to get a closer look at the stand. Just one little peak at the bake sale wouldn’t take too long. Just for memory’s sake.

Hearing your voice, a spider no bigger than your pinky finger’s nail pops up over the edge of the table, skitters to the center and waves you over.

“Hello dearies!” it squeaks at the top of its tiny voice. “Can I interest you in a spider pastry? It’s made by spiders, for spiders, and of spiders! All proceeds to towards helping real spiders in need!”

“Of course!” you smile.

“Oh, n-now you’ve done it,” Alphys whines apprehensively, but you ignore her. You’ve deduced by now that Alphys is the nervous type, but even this seems a little extreme. They’re just harmless little spiders. Why was she so antsy?

You look over their inventory, and fond memories of your arachnid friends back in the ruins come to your mind when you spot the familiar spider donuts and spider cider. This bake sale is far more impressive and has a wider variety of food, including spider croissants, spider coffee, spider tea, spider cookies and spider cupcakes. You’re half way to reaching for your money when you catch sight of the prices of all the items and nearly have a heart attack. Each item is priced insanely high, at over nine thousand gold for just one pastry.

“Oh no, I can’t afford any of this,” You tell the spider.

“No worries, dearie!” The little spider sings. “Most monsters can’t afford our delicacies, but they do their part by still leaving a tip! Would you care to make a donation instead? Even a single gold piece helps our cause! Though we much prefer your donation be all the contents of your wallet! Hehehe!”

“Sure, it’s the least I can do,” you smile, fishing for your loose change. “I really wanted to try some of the snacks I’ve never seen before. If only I had my coupon I got on my birthday.”

“What!? Coupon!?” the tiny spider shrieks at the top of its little lungs, its mood instantly flipping from friendly to furious. “Blasphemy! None of our locations would dare stoop to such low marketing tactics! You! Wait here! I need to fetch my manager to interrogate you!” With that, the tiny arachnid scurries off in a puff of rage.

“C’mon, we need to get out of here before the spider comes back, or we’ll become the secret ingredient in her next batch of brownies!” Alphys tells you.

“But I wanted to talk to more of the spiders!” you protest.

“The sooner you get home, the sooner you can talk to all the spiders you want, right?” Alphys argues. She had a point, you hate to admit. Pulling on your arm insistently, you have no choice but to follow her away from the stand and further into the third floor.

Before long the marron floors fade away back to the rusty iron red of Hotland. The air gets damp and humid again. Following Alphys over a rise in the platforms, you’re greeted with a field of pipes crisscrossing the canyon in front of you like a giant grid. Vents pop up in odd angles, facing nearly every which way, as if someone decided to just place one in a segment of the pipe when they needed it in the moment. There’s no clear direction across and if you’re not careful, you could easily fall through the gap in the pipes down to the level below, through there’s no guarantee you’d land in one piece.

“Um... ah… I don’t see a clear way across,” Alphys says, standing on the tips of her claws and squinting through the steaming mists. “B-but if we work together I know we’ll find a way over!”

You nod in agreement and boldly make the first leap then head to the north, following the only path available. You pause on the third block; this tiny islet has two paths to choose form.

“Which way do you think we should go?” you ask Alphys when she joins you.

“Hmm. W-well the north vent looks like dead end,” she says, studying the block to your left. “That island only has one vent pointing straight back here. L-lets go south.”

You turn to the south and hop across two vents, where the path spits again.

“East or west?”

“West looks like it’ll take us back to the beginning. Let’s try east.”

You head east, and you keep heading east, and by some dumb luck you make it all the way across. The path that follows curves up, taking you directly into the wall of the mountain, but the road is blocked by a pair of very familiar looking steel doors.

You study the barricade, their flashing red Xs mocking you. But just like with the first doors on the first floor, two trails of lights lead from the insignias and back to the vent room, where they then branch off with one string of red lights going north, and the other heading south.

“I bet the keys to unlock these doors are where ever these lights go,” you say, pointing to the clue. You turn to the royal scientist. “Looks like we’ve got more puzzles to solve. Ready?”

“R-right! Let’s do this!”

Another puzzle, another detour. You try as hard as you can to not let the roadblock dampen your spirits, but you can’t help but wonder how much time you are wasting as you are forced to backtrack to unlock these doors. There’s no doubt in your mind Mettaton was the one who sealed them, just another obstacle to slow you down and give him a chance to get the jump on you. Whatever he had planned in store for you, you wouldn’t let him take you by surprise this time.

It looks like you’re not the only one who’d successfully made it across the vents only to be thwarted by the barriers of iron. Following the trail of lights, you find yourself in a room north of the vents with two other monsters in front of a puzzle console.

“What mystery is this?” an orange toad with spiked skin that resembled flames remarks to his companion. “I cannot recall the doors ever being closed before. Have you, Whimsalot?”

“I have not,” A smaller insect-like monster comments. “Courage, Final Froggit! We will find a way through! We just have to solve this puzzle to unlock them!”

Wait, Whimsalot? Final Froggit? You know these guys! They’re Whimsun’s and Froggit’s cousins! Excitedly you run up to them with Alphys close behind.

“Hey! Hi there!” you greet them. “Did I hear your names were Whimsalot and final Froggit?”

“Oh, a new comer,” the frog monster says curiously. “Yes, that is us. And you are?”

“I’m Chara!” you introduce yourself. “I’m friends with your family in the ruins!”

“Oh! We’ve heard of you!” Whimsalot says. “A special child with a kind soul and puzzle solver, too. Do you think you can find the solution to open the doors in the other room? We think it must have something to do with these box puzzles.”

“Ah, these sliding box puzzles,” Final Froggit croaks in annoyance. “I was never good at these.”

“Have faith!” Whimsalot tells him. “With four heads we can surely solve this!”

The four of you gather around the screen and study the block puzzle. There is only one bullet to shoot the opposing ship. You stare at the screen for a long time without touching the controller, mapping out the boxes in your head and where they will move. All the while your party tries to offer you advice.

“My family has said there is an ancient code that can be used to solve any puzzle. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, start.” Final Froggit says.

“But this controller doesn’t have half those buttons!” Whimsalot points out.

“That is my point exactly! How can this ultimate code solve every puzzle if you can’t even input the entire thing? Feel free to try new comer, but if the ultimate code can’t solve it, then I doubt it can be solved at all.”

“Shoosh!” you hush them so they stop their bickering. “I think I got it.”

Everyone watches you as you place your hand on the controller and make your first move.

You push the joystick once to the left… then once to the right, and the pathway is clear. You fire and hit the opposite ship.

You look back at your crew in triumph. Final Froggit looks mystified, Whimsalot looks impressed, Alphys looks stunned. The trail of red lights switches to green, and an audible clicking noise can be heard in the distance of a heavy dead bolt sliding out of place.

“It only takes two moves to solve this puzzle?” the Froggit asks. “I have… a lot to learn from this world still.” With that, he hops off without saying goodbye.

“Excuse us,” Whimsalot says. “I will console him. He does not mean to be rude; he is just… easily amazed. Go on without us. We will see you again on the other side of the door.”

You part ways as Final Froggit and Whimsalot head back to the door and you and Alphys head south to the one remaining puzzle.

The path curves downward and ends before a moving side walk lined with lasers. A grumpy looking one-eyed monster stands before the conveyer belt, frowning in annoyance.

“Uh oh,” Alphys whispers to you. “That’s Astigmatism.”

“Are they aggressive?” you ask.

“No, they’re just really mean bullies. But we’d better watch out. With Astigmatisms it’s always ‘my way or the highway!’”

“Got it. Pardon us,” you clear your throat to get the monster’s attention. Astigmatism turns your way and narrows its singular eye. “Sorry to bother you, but may we pass? We need to get to the terminal to unlock the door in the other room.”

“If you can figure out how to turn off the lasers, be my guest.” The monster grumbles. “I’ve been stuck on this side of the lasers all day. My house is in the cavern that branches off on the next road, but I can’t go home until these things are deactivated.”

“Deactivated? But aren’t these lasers safe if you just stop and go at the right time? Why don’t you just walk through them?”

“Bud, do you know how damaging lasers are to your retinas? You might be fine with your measly eyeballs, but I would be ASKING for eye damage if I tried to cross this, and there’s absolutely NO WAY I’m gonna try to cross it with my eyes closed.”

You hum, seeing their point and consider your options. “Hm. Alphys, do you think you can deactivate these lasers like you did with the first ones?”

“Sure thing! Let me just get my tools from my- my back pack!!” Alphys reaches behind her only to grab empty air. “Oh no! I must’ve left it behind on Mettaton’s last stage set. Oh, I’m so sorry!”

“Hey, it’s okay,” you pat her on the shoulder. “We can still do this the old fashioned way.”

“But you were counting on me, a-and I’ve let you down!”

“Alphys, accidents happen. Besides, didn’t you say there’s another way to get past the lasers?”

“Y-yeah, move through the orange lasers, and stand still for the blue ones.”

“Okay, we’ll just do that, then.” You decide and turn back to Astigmatism. “So it looks like we can’t turn the lasers off, but what if we help you through them?”

“Oh yeah? And how do you propose we do that?” Astigmatism asks suspiciously.

“You’ll hold our hands and close your eye. When we say ‘go’, you walk with us, and when we say ‘stop’, you hold still. We can guide you through the lasers and you won’t risk eye damage.”

“Okay, I see where you’re going with this, no pun intended, but how can I trust you won’t tell me the wrong direction on purpose?”

“Because then we could get hit too,” Alphys points out. “A-all three of us will go together at the same time, th-that way you know we’re all taking the same risk.”

“Hmm,” Astigmatism mulls it over. “Well, four eyes looking out for me sure does sound a lot better than one. Okay. I’ll go with you. But you better not let me be hit!”

“We’ll do our best,” you assure Astigmatism. You offer your hand and Astigmatism takes it. Alphys slips hers into Astigmatism’s other hand and the one-eyed monster takes a deep breath before closing their lid. “I’m ready.”

“Okay, first up is an orange laser. We have to walk through it. Let’s go.”

A tense minute of stopping, starting and even a little back pedaling later, the three of you successfully make it across the laser field without a single scratch.

“Heh heh, thanks kid.” Astigmatism grins with a wide unsettling smile. “You’re alright. And I’ll be sure to carry an extra pair of sunglasses on me the next time I leave the house. SEE you around.”

“Take care!” The human says, waving farewell to the Astigmatism. Alphys watches them and smiles with affection. For once she doesn’t feel bad about losing her notes. This human, no this child, this friend of hers is just so genuinely kind to everyone they meet, and the thought of writing it down on a lab report never even crosses her mind.

The last remaining block puzzle turns out to be no challenge for them as well. She didn’t doubt it would be. Her new young friend was far smarter than she gave them credit for. It was time she stopped underestimating them.

XXX

When the pair passes through the unlocked doors, there’s a noticeable change in the air temperature as the surrounding air goes from sweltering to only mildly unbearable. The road ahead curves away from the volcanoes’ main conduit and into a vent shaft. Immediately the walls close back in to their claustrophobic shape, and the ever present fear of accidentally falling of the many suspended bridges down to one’s death vanishes with nice solid ground firmly reinforced under their feet.

It’s noticeably darker here too, with no soft warm glow of magma surrounding them on all sides to give them at least a little light. The air is also still and musty and it smells like cobwebs.

In the dim light it’s hard to make out any details clearly, so it’s no surprise when the child runs face first in to a spider web.

“Ugh, there are a lot of spider webs in here,” they complain.

“Yeah, this is the spider parlor. Watch your step, or you’ll never hear the end of it from their leader.”

Sputtering, the kid swipes their sleeve over their face to wipe the offending tendrils off, only to swing their arm into a thicker, stronger spider web on their left.

“What the…?” The human peels their arm out of the sticky silk with some effort and stumble back, only to trip over into a pile of spider silk carpeting the floor.

“Uh, Alphys? C-can I have some help?” they ask, straining to get their feet unstuck from the floor.

“H-here! Grab my hand!” Alphys says reaching out. They grab her wrist and pull against her. While the two of them struggle to get unstuck, Alphys could have sworn she heard a girlish giggle faintly from above. Scales standing on end, Alphys pulls harder.

With a massive heave, the human finally gets their foot unstuck. Brushing off the last of the silken threads, the two come to a halt. It may be hard to see, but even in the dim light Alphys can make out the path in front of them is completely obscured by spider webs.

“Oh man. Is there any other way around?”

“Unfortunately not unless we go back all the way to the other elevator,” Alphys says. “This is strange. I’ve never seen the spiders completely cover the tunnel like this before. It’s gonna be impossible to go through this without disturbing at least one web. W-we’ll just have to do our best and minimize the damage. K-keep your eyes out for the spiders, though! I-if we step on one, their leader will never forgive us.”

Keeping her head low, Alphys forges ahead, trying to touch a few spider webs as possible. The corridor is so clogged with them that sometimes she has no choice but to rip right through the middle of one. Each cobweb the two pass through drapes over them like a blanket, clinging to them with its microscopic fingers, dragging them down and tangling their legs bit by bit while it reaches out with its sticky gossamer threads to grab on to even more webs in close proximity. Alphys and the human walk in single file, trying to keep the destruction to a minimum, but it is a futile effort.

In the distance, something laughs. A shadow crosses the ceiling.

“Did you hear that?” The child whispers to the scientist.

“Oh god. I-I think that’s the spider matriarch. W-we gotta hurry!”

Alphys tries to put on a burst of speed, but the spider silk has built up so much on her that it trails behind her tail as thick as a rope. The human trips and falls, their feet thoroughly ensnared.

“Ahuhuhu~” a spritely voice hisses. “Did you hear what they said?”

“Come on! Come on!” Alphys urges as they try to yank their foot free.

“I’m trying! I’m trying!” they grunt back, but they may as well been trying to get out of quicksand.

“Huhuhuhu~ I heard a new boss monster was in the underground.”

Without warning, the human’s foot snaps free of the spider webs, sending them barreling into Alphys knocking them both forward into another pit fall of cobwebs.

“I heard they were trying to cheat us out of a sale.”

Managing to right herself, Alphys reaches her hand out and the human does the same.

“I hear they’re super stuck up and think they’re too good to help a little spider in need.”

Their fingers grab at the air, too far apart to reach her, and she vainly tries to reach for them, but before she can move an inch, hundreds of spiders descend on them both and begin to cocoon the two in silk. Wolf spiders, orb weavers, tarantulas, huntsmen, black widows, harvest men, recluses and dozens more race over them, spinning silk faster than the eye could see. Alphys tries to scream for help, but the spiders quickly gag her with a mouth full of silk.

“Alph-!” The kid tries to shout her name before being gagged themselves.

“I heard they wanted to use a coupon for a discount.”

With a yank from an invisible hand, her arms are pinned to her sides, and her legs are pulled out from beneath her.

“I heard…” swaddled so tight, there’s barely room to breathe. The spiders work swiftly, encasing her whole body up to her neck. Just when she thinks they’re going to swarm them both alive, they suddenly retreat as she’s hoisted into the air by her ankles alongside the child.

“… that they tried to run off without making a donation.”

Swinging, upside down, Alphys bumps into the human like a pendulum and rotates slowly in the air. When they make one complete rotation, Alphys finds herself eye to eye with the biggest spider she’s ever seen in her life.

The human yelps out of pure surprise, but the sound is muffled by the mouth piece. They were not expecting her to be only millimeters from their face, and what’s more, she appears to be upside down like them. Her skin is a pale purple, her five eyes are black as onyx and her fangs glisten with what Alphys can only hope is tea and not venom.

The spider giggles at their fright and retracts a bit to give the two some space.

“My subordinates informed me you’ve been spreading rumors about fictitious promotional stunts to slander my company’s name, and then you left after directly being ordered to wait so a manager could investigate these claims.”

Alphys tunes the spider matriarch out. From far below a more horrible noise has seized her attention; a gurgling hiss and the sharp tapping of eight very large legs echoes up to her. Twisting her head back as far as she can, she pales as a giant half-spider, half-muffin abomination creeps into sight beneath her, its maw gaping wide and salivating in anticipation.

The human doesn’t seem to notice their doom below at all. They’re staring wide-eyed at the spider before them and trying to say something through their mouth piece.

“Well, what do you have to say to your defense before I feed you to my pet for such atrocious lies?”

They to mumble through their gag, but it only comes out as muffled grunts.

“Oops! Let me get that for you dearie~”

The spider swings forward on her tether and rips the webs covering their mouths off like a band aid.

Alphys lets out a blood-curdling scream. The kid, on the other hand, let’s out shout of joy.

“Muffet!”

“Oh? So you’ve heard of me, dearie? Strange that you know my name but would still try to swindle us. C'est la vie. I will just have to show you how we deal with cheapskates. Allow me to introduce you to my pet. He just loves meeting stingy customers.”

With a lurch, their tethers begin to lower at an alarming speed.

“Muffet, it’s me! Chara!” The human blurts out, as the gaping mouth of the horrific abominable muffin below comes into sharp focus. “Your pen pal from the ruins!”

The line lowering them jerks to a halt and the muffin monster below snaps his jaws closed over empty air.

Like reeling in a fishing line, Muffet pulls them back up, and looks at the human, her five eyes wide as saucers.

“Say that again?”

“It’s me, Chara! You know the one you trade recipes with?”

“Chara?” she gasps, disbelieving. They nod vigorously. Muffet’s face breaks out into an enormous grin.

“Chara! Mon chéri! My best and most loyal customer! I have been waiting years to meet you face to face!”

Her many arms grab and flip them right side up as she delicately untangles them from their cocoon. Letting out a girly squeak of delight, she kisses you on both cheeks and begins to speak rapidly. Alphys is all but ignored, still hanging in the air.

“Chara, mon ami! I have dreamed of this day for years, though I never thought we’d ever meet! The recipes you’ve given me have been some of the most successful one I’ve ever sold! (Though I did modify them to include extra spiders, huhuhu!) What happened to you dearie? You stopped writing me! I haven’t heard from you in almost a week!” The question must have been rhetorical because she doesn’t give the human time to answer before launching into another monologue of her own. “Dearie, I must apologize on behalf of my employees if they gave you any trouble! I know you would never try to skimp on us! Though I will have a talk to the bake sale operation in the ruins about running the usage of coupons by me before they go passing them out.”

“It’s okay! Really! I would have bought a donut if I could, but I wasn’t expecting the price to be so high here. I can still make a donation if you want.”

“Chara, mon ami, you have already helped our cause more than you know with all your patronage over the years. I can’t possibly demand that from you! Here, I’ll grant you passage through my parlor instead. This has been a giant mix up.”

“Thank you so much, Muffet. Um… Can you let Alphys go too?”

“Oh? Is she with you? Then but of course, dearie! Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, for the right price, that is. Ahuhuhu!” Muffet giggles.

“You know their leader?” Alphys whispers harshly, rubbing her shoulders after the spiders unbind her from her cocoon.

“Yeah! We pretty much write each other every other day!”

“Oh, well I’m glad you decided to share this important information that could have spared us of this torment!”

“Sorry! I didn’t know she’d try to feed us to her pet!” The human smiles nervously, hands thrown up in defense. “She’s a lot nicer in her letters. I didn’t know how ruthless she really was.”

“Chara! Before you go, please join me for a cup of tea, won’t you? I never expected you meet you until I came to the ruins myself! There’s a story there and you simply must tell me!”

Clapping her hands, spiders drop and part a curtain of spider webs to reveal another pathway further into the parlor. Muffet gracefully saunters down the corridor, waving for them to follow.

“Well, at least she’s being friendly now?” The child shrugs, and pads after the spider matriarch.

Chagrined, Alphys sighs and dutifully follows after them.

XXX

The parlor is quaint and lavishly furnished, and Alphys quickly discovers everything is in sets of eight. A low coffee table sits in the middle of the room surrounded by seven plush cushions and one short legged chair at the head. Eight sets of tea cups and saucers are arranged on the table.

The walls are decorated with intricate doilies and silks, glittering baubles and fanciful ornaments hang from the ceiling. Everything is coated in spider thread, but even the silk is carefully woven into delicate patterns if one looked closely. It was such a fascinating balance between meticulous and macabre with all the spider webbing. Alphys blinks in sudden indignant realization. Wait- if the spiders needed so much help rescuing their family in the ruins, then how could Muffet afford to have such luxuries here?

“Please sit!” Muffet instructs, and pours a cup of tea. “Help yourself to the tea and crumpets!”

The human politely pours themselves a cup of tea, and doesn’t even flinch when a couple of live spiders hastily climb out. Alphys does the same, but neither of them takes a sip.

“So, dearie! Please! Tell me how you have been and what you have been up to!”

The human retells their tale form the very beginning, from the birthday party, to sneaking out at night to play in the snow, getting locked out, exploring Snowdin with Sans and Papyrus, escaping to Waterfall and then from Undyne, then to Hotland and avoiding Mettaton, and finally up to where they are now.

They elaborate their worries and their fears about facing their mother’s wrath and rejection, all of which Alphys had no clue of. The hopefulness in their voice when they predict their conversation with the king slingshots to frustration and hurt when they finally purge their pent up emotions as they recount the lies and betrayals of those they thought were friends, and that makes Alphys squirm in her seat more so than the occasional spider that runs across her tail where she sits.

Alphys can hardly believe it when they finish. Heck, she even watched a good chunk of their journey on her computer screen, yet hearing the tale retold, all the desperation and exhaustion in their voice makes a world of difference. She couldn’t believe they had gone through so much when any normal monster would have quit long ago. And yet they still decided to keep going.

“Chara, mon ami…” Muffet grasps one of their hands in four of hers. “I am so sorry to hear all of that. Your journey has sounded so hard! But please rest assured you are welcome in my parlor at any time!”

“Thank you, Muffet.” The child sighs, feeling cleansed from their catharsis. From there the conversations ease and the mood lifts. Alphys politely nibbles on cookies while the two old friends chat and catch up. Muffet tells them all about the spiders in Hotland, and the kid reports how the spiders in the ruins are doing. For once the human doesn’t seem to mind wasting a little time instead of constantly pushing forward to their demise, but before long the platter of snacks is picked clean and the tea kettle is empty and cold.

“Is there anything I can do for you before you go on your way?” Muffet asks when all their stories are told.

“Yeah, actually…” the human says solemnly. “Do you think I could send a telegram to the ruins? I… I want to tell my mom I’m sorry and that I am coming back home.”

“Of course, mon ami,” Muffet says sympathetically, and signals to her spiders. Dozens drop from the ceiling, awaiting orders.

“I need a pen and stationary.” Several spiders skitter away at once, and return shortly with a plethora of writing utensils and an assortment of fanciful paper for them to choose from. The human picks the two closest to them and thanks them for the offer.

They squat down on the floor to write, their face lined with seriousness.

Alphys notices how their hand trembles when they put their pen to the paper, the first words coming out rather shaky, before their penmanship levels out the more they write.

The message they write isn’t long, but they stare at it, reading it over and over again before finally giving it over to Muffet.

“Thank you dearie,” Muffet says and waves over one of her subordinates. “Transmit this telegram to our friends in the ruins immediately,” she orders. The spider gives her a four legged salute, and scampers off.

“How long will it take for the message to go through?” The human asks.

“Oh, probably an hour or two,” Muffet says. “And that’s just on our end. The transmission equipment is located in the capital, away from any heat, cold, or dampness that might ruin it, but it’s still a lengthy trek for a tiny spider. Never fear, mon ami, your letter is in eight very capable hands.”

“Thank you, Muffet.”

“The pleasure’s all mine, dearie!” Muffet embraces them in a six-armed hug and kisses them on both cheeks once again for good measure. “I do hope we get to meet more frequently! This has been the most wonderful surprise! Good luck with the king, dearie! Adieu!”

Pleasantries and farewells exchanged, Muffet sends them on their way.

Alphys notices the hallway is significantly clearer than before with not a single strand of spider silk in sight. They walk on in silence.

“Wow…” Alphys speaks up after a minute of quiet. “I… um… I had no idea all that stuff happened to you.”

“Yeah… I’m trying to make it right, now.” Her friend shrugs. “It hasn’t been easy going but… I still gotta try, you know?”

“I-I think so,” Alphys says. “I have some mistakes like that too, b-but I’m nowhere near as brave as you to try and fix them.”

“Really? Why not?”

“Like, wh-what if I try to fix them and it doesn’t change anything or only makes things worse? People would hate me. More than they already do.”

The human gives her a funny look. “What could you do that could possibly make anyone hate you? You’re the royal scientist, and you’ve done nothing but help me so far. That’s more than I can say about some other monsters.”

It’s a physical effort for Alphys not to cringe at their words as she goes on to explain.

“M-m-monsters have been waiting for me to find a way to help break down the barrier and set us free for years now. I-I-I keep telling them we’re getting closer every day, but the truth is I haven’t made any progress in months. I feel awful for lying, but telling the t-truth would crush the hopes of so many.”

“If you’re trying to fix a mistake you made, people won’t hate you.” Her friend says, resolute. “Isn’t it better to say I’m sorry and do your best to correct it, instead of ignoring the problem and pretend it doesn’t exist?”

Alphys doesn’t have an answer, but the human doesn’t wait as if they expect one. Left with their words, Alphys unconsciously follows their steps, lost in thought.

XXX

“We’re a-almost to the Core,” Alphys announces after several more minutes of hiking. “We just gotta pass through o-one more room, and then we’ll be at the MTT hotel where the last elevator to New Home is.”

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. The human stops short when they reach the tunnel’s mouth. Alphys joins them at their side, perplexed, before seeing what they see.

In front of them is not a dark room, but one that is extremely well lit, and almost completely barren save for two long lounge chairs that are situated side by side. Mettaton is seductively laying on one, with a fake mustache taped to his lower row of screens. He’s clearly waiting for them.

“Ah! There you are, darlings!” He says, uncharacteristically soft and quiet. “Come in, come in.”

“Yeah, like we’d ever do that after you’ve tried to trap us and hold us hostage twice!” The kid says. “What’s your angle Mettaton? We’re not playing this game anymore.”

“Angle? Game?” Mettaton repeats. “Why darling, as you can see, I’ve no tricks up my sleeves this time. In fact, if you answer a few questions for my self-help show, I’ll let you go on your merry way.”

“Really?”

“Really, really. There’s so much needless violence and drama on TV today. This program has room for none of that drivel. Please, have a seat.”

“Do you have any idea what he’s up to?” The human whispers to Alphys.

“N-not a clue,” the doctor fibs. “Maybe we should we trust him? I mean, he is being s-super transparent. We aren’t going in blind this time, so either he’s b-being more subtle in this trap than I ever thought he was capable of being, or he’s actually t-telling the truth. And even if it IS a trap, I say we go for it. We’ve escaped him twice before, w-we can do it again.”

The human nods, and together, they cautiously enter the room. The child eyes the empty chair suspiciously and does not sit.

“So what’s this? A torture device? A machine that paralyzes you when you touch it?”

“It’s a lounge chair, darling.” Mettaton says patiently. “Perfect for reclining on, as I demonstrate before you.”

Narrowing their eyes, the human shakes their head. “I’d rather stand, thank you.”

“Suit yourself, darling! Stand by camera seven! Live in five…! Four…! Three..!”

From somewhere behind them, speakers play a simple four note jingle on an electric guitar. A camera zooms in on their faces and a stage director points a thumbs up to signal that they were rolling.

“Welcome back, beauties and gentle beauties, to the Dr. Drill show. I’m your host, Dr. Drill. Today we have on our show two very special guests, the revered royal scientist and fellow doctor, Dr. Alphys, and her young boss monster protégé, of which we have recently learned, is magically inept.”

He presses a button on his casing, and canned laughter bursts from his speakers. Alphys and the human both flinch.

“Sorry about that,” Mettaton says, not sounding sorry in the slightest. “I suffered a nasty spill earlier today and it seems to have damaged some of my circuitry. Ah! Here we are!”

Cycling through his buttons, Mettaton pushes them all to find the right sound effect. Hollow applause echoes through his speakers, but the moment has passed and the result feels insincere. Undeterred by the awkwardness, Mettaton turns to face the human.

“So darling. You are magically inept. A boss monster without magic. How did this make you feel the day you realized you couldn’t express yourself magically like all the other monsters could?”

“I… um…” the human uncomfortably shuffles from foot to foot and they keep their eyes down cast. “I felt… I felt like a stranger. An outcast,” they say, picking at one of the ears of their hat. “I mean… I always knew I was different, but not being able to use magic made me feel… broken. My mom would always tell me I’m not alone, and plenty of other monsters can’t express magic either, but no one but maybe some rocks were like me.”

Mettaton pushes another button on his front and again laughter spills out. The human grimaces and Alphys winces.

“I do apologize,” the robot says, fiddling with his dials until he manages to get the “aww” sound effect he originally wanted. “Darling, I can only imagine how hard it was for you growing up. But your mother is right. You are not alone. Plenty of monsters in the Underground may not have the ability to express their magic as tangibly as they would like, but that does not mean you are any less of a monster than the next! Why, just take our dear friend Doctor Alphys, here!”

“M-me?” Alphys squeaks as all eyes turned to her. Oh god, why did she have to be dragged into this?

Springing up from the lounge chair, Mettaton wheels over to Alphys until every camera was pointed in her direction, and loops one of his arms around her shoulders.

“Yes my beautiful watchers at home. Many years ago, Alphys had confided in me that she, too, lacked the magical prowess that many of her peers seemed to have, which caused her to pursue a career in the sciences, where she could synthesize magic which ultimately lead to my creation! This goes to show that anyone can achieve their goals no matter what their abilities or lack thereof! Look at her now, beautiful watchers! She is the king’s royal scientist! See darling? Alphys is proof that anything is possible!”

The human scratches their scalp, unconvinced, while Alphys nervously wrings her hands.

“Ah, you still have doubts, I see.” Mettaton points out. Letting go of Alphys, he spins around to the human. “Listen, darling, this is a self-help talk show and you’re not leaving until you’ve helped yourself by talking to me. Repeat after me; No magic? No problem!”

“No magic, no problem,” the human mimics, though with no enthusiasm.

“Fantastic, sweetheart! That’s the self-motivation I like to hear! Now tell me, now that you know there are no limits on you, magic or not, how are you going to live your life? What are you going to achieve in your life?”

“Oh, uh… I don’t think I’m going to do much after I get back home.”

“Ah-ah, darling!” Mettaton interrupts. “There’s that negativity again! Remember, anything possible! Let’s hear some real life goals!”

“Uh, maybe… maybe I’ll convince my mom I’ll be fine in the Underground? And maybe she’ll let me visit or even explore here?”

“Hmmm, good start, sweetheart! But you’re a Boss Monster! Think bigger! How are you going to leave your mark on the underground?”

“I’m gonna… uh, I will…” the human stalls as they try to think of something worthy enough to make their life goal. Their eyes light up as something comes to them. They stand up straight and face Mettaton head on.

“I’m going to break the barrier and set all monsters free.”

Mettaton gasps. “Really darling? How do you propose that?”

“I may not have magic, but that won’t stop me from catching the next human that falls into the underground and taking their soul to set all monsters free!”

“Darling, that is a very big goal…. And it’s just the kind of goal I was talking about! Give them a big round of applause, everyone!”

Mettaton pushes a button on his chassis, but instead of cheering, his loudest laughter track on file plays. The human’s shoulders slouch and their expression cracks as if they’ve been struck.

“Drat these blasted wires of mine!” Mettaton sighs. He turns one of his nobs, but the volume of the laughter only increases. “Do keep in mind, we are not laughing at you, darling, even if what you say can be interpreted as humorous for… other… reasons.”

The laughter goes on for over a minute as he fusses with his buttons and Alphys watches helplessly as her friend tries to shrink in on themselves. At last Mettaton gets the right audio track to play overwhelming applause, but the human might as well be wearing ear plugs.

From behind one of the cameras, a monster waves a signal to wrap things up.

“Ah, unfortunately it seems that’s all the time we have for today!” Mettaton says. “But we’ve had another successful break through here on Dr. Drill! Today we helped a young boss monster confront their inner demons and find their purpose in life! Thank you so much for your time darling, and keep your head high!”

“Aaand, that’s a wrap!” the director says. A fire bell rings, and the recording sign switches off. “Great work team. Let’s get this to editing post haste so we can have it up by the prime time hour!”

“Well! Wasn’t that exhilarating! Thank you for your help darling. You’re free to go now.”

“Really? That’s it? You’re just letting me go?”

“A promise is a promise, sweetheart! Good luck with the king!” And with that, Mettaton scurries off to parts unknown, leaving Alphys alone with the human on the darkened set.

“Well… at least there weren’t any traps or tricks this time?” Alphys says, looking at the human.

“Yeah, I know but…” The child absently rubs their arm and avoids Alphys’ eye. “I still feel like I was the butt of some joke? I can’t help but feel like he was still… trying to deceive me? I know there wasn’t a fight or obstacle, but how come I still feel like I lost?” They let out a pitiful sigh.

“For a self-help show, this didn’t feel very helpful…”

Scraping together what dignity they had left, Alphys and the human took their leave, heading to the Core, leaving the echoes of laughter behind.

A world away running the most vital marathon of its career, a pebble sized jumping spider traversed the craggy walls of the volcano with its precious cargo in tow. Leaping from ledge to ledge, finding foot holds even too small for a spider’s standard, the brave arachnid scales its way up.

It was the mission of a life time, a chance to prove itself, to make a difference, to change a life. The urgency of the task had not been made light. Many far better, faster and stronger spiders were not up to the task for they knew the perils ahead. The trip to New Home from their parlor was not without its dangers. A cocky spider could easily misjudge its jump and fall to its death in the lava below where it would be incinerated without remorse or even a eulogy. A careless spider could easily fall victim to an unaware foot- just another casually in their ongoing cause. The little jumping spider found the tunnel it was looking for and slipped inside, its precious package securely glued to its back.

The spider does not dally, ever on the lookout for the occasional arrant gecko that could manage to find its way into tight niches such as these. The cramped passage way twists and turns, sometimes getting so narrow that it threatens to trap the spider all together before letting out onto a sheer drop off above the tangled metal colossus that is the Core.

With a running start, the bold little spider takes a leap of faith, trailing a line of silk behind it. Its horizontal inertia quickly becomes over powered by gravity, but moments before impact, the balloon of silk behind it catches the wind and unfurls as a wave of hot air rushes up beneath it and it rides the breeze over the gap, wafting along at the mercy of the air currents circulated by the breathing metal beast. Steering is borderline impossible and the added weight of the letter provides no lift as it glides through the air. A hot gust of wind pushes the voyager off course and the brave little spider lands rough, its two front legs barely making contact on the edge of a platform. A harsh breeze pulls at its silken balloon and threatens to drag it back from the safety of its perch until it cuts its ties and lets the parachute fall away. With a quick shake and a second to get its bearings, the tiny arachnid is off once more. The MTT Hotel is an imposing skyscraper even to the average sized monsters, but the tiny spider forges ahead undaunted. Weaving through the ocean of feet that pass through its doors and slipping in through the elevator shaft, it bypasses the lines for the lift and begins its accent on the elevator chords itself.

It finds its stop stories up on a ledge marked by small twigs and bits of paper fashioned by spiders prior to guide the way. But despite being a jumping spider, the gap is too wide to be made in a single bound, especially when being weighed down with a load ten times their mass, and there is no helpful breeze to give a little push in the stagnant air of the elevator shaft.

Securing an anchor, the jumping spider releases a long thread of silk and leaps, but only ends up dangling in the air. Using its tiny body, the arachnid begins to sway with all its might building up momentum until it manages to swing across the gap. No time to celebrate, it skitters on its way into New Home.

The end in sight, the little spider puts on a burst of speed as it closes in on its target; a transmission office to New Home. It’s inches away from the front steps when the brambles erupt from the ground, cutting off its path.

Startled, the spider skids to a halt in front of the briar, searching for a way past the impenetrable thorns. Running up and down the length of tendrils in a panic, it doesn’t notice one vine creeping up from behind until its crushing force comes down on the arachnid like a hammer with deadly precision.

There’s no sound other than the small crinkle of paper. Two or three legs twitch as if surprised before curling inward where they lay still. The brambles retreat back into the earth as the murderous vine peels the urgent letter off the scene of the crime. It flicks off the few stubborn legs that still cling to the envelope, before shredding it to pieces, and tossing it to the wind. The last of the vines sink back into the ground, leaving no trace they were ever there, except for a small divot of disturbed earth next to a tiny, quickly drying puddle of hemolymph and silk.

#undertale #you monster #my writing #fan fiiction #muffet #mettaton #alphys #frisk

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