#false memory ocd
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Ahhhhhh. OCD is so fucking confusing. I cant tell if I'm experiencing false memory ocd or making excuses for myself. I literally cant remember events from my teenage years which makes me think I must have done something bad that I can't remember?? I know I should talk to my therapist about it but she really doesn't know a lot about ocd and I worry she won't understand. Anyone with OCD always feel free to ask or message me.
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cptsd and false memory ocd have been kicking my ass these past few days.
i don't think people understand how awful it is to think about...ruminate about....something that never actually happened to the point that your brain starts to believe it's true. then to have shame filled intrusive flashbacks about something that never actually occurred. so you're basically traumatizing yourself over a false memory over and over and over again.
the sickest part is logically knowing it likely didn't happen, but you can't stop yourself from feeling shame about it anyway. and you go through great lengths to try to prove yourself wrong, but even if there's evidence, if you find the text messages, or listen to the class recording, you don't believe it.
it forces me to isolate, because i feel so much shame over things that never happened. i think people are judging me over things that never occurred.
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False Memory obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is an OCD subtype characterized by ongoing intrusive doubting thoughts and compulsive behavior around a past event. People with False Memory OCD experience frequent doubts about things that have happened to them and may be convinced they’ve done something wrong despite no evidence of these memories being true (e.g., “Did I accidentally steal and don’t remember?”). The recurrent doubting thoughts are often viewed as an indication that their fears are true (e.g., “if I’m so concerned I stole, then I must have. Otherwise, why am I thinking about it?”), which fuels anxiety about their memories and drives people struggling with these thoughts to engage in various compulsions aimed at gaining certainty about their memories (e.g., asking for continual reassurance from a friend about whether you accidentally stole something, or searching through your home for the receipt).
If you didn’t know, now you know. And if you experience this, I’m holding your hand and we are okay. This is a part of ocd, you aren’t alone and you aren’t crazy— but the fake memory isn’t real either. We can note the thought and move on, don’t engage with it just notice it, breathe in, and let it go, breathe out.
#I had no idea about this which is crazy because it’s impacted me a lot#the doubts that I get because of this#and it’s just not well known#when u look for symptoms of ocd this is not what comes up lol#ocd#false memory ocd
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Understanding OCD: Beyond Cleanliness and Perfection
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a complex mental health condition often oversimplified. Beyond the common themes like contamination or perfectionism, there exists a spectrum of obsessions and compulsions.
Understanding OCD: Beyond Cleanliness and Perfection
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition that often gets reduced to stereotypes of excessive cleanliness and organization. While these aspects do represent a subtype of OCD, this disorder is far more complex, with a range of lesser-known themes that impact individuals profoundly.
What is an OCD Theme?
In essence, OCD…
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#Anxiety#Compulsions#Contamination OCD#coping strategies#Coping with OCD#Coping with uncertainty in OCD#COVID-19#COVID-19 and anxiety#COVID-19 effects on mental health#Emetophobia#Emotional well-being#Existential OCD#False Memory OCD#Fear and OCD#Harm OCD#Health anxiety#Health OCD#Impact of stress on OCD#Insanity OCD#Intrusive Thoughts#Just Right OCD#Living with OCD#Mental health#Mental health acceptance#Mental health advocacy#Mental Health Awareness#Mental health awareness during pandemic#Mental health community#Mental health coping#Mental health during COVID-19
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fuck OCD.
fuck obsessions. fuck compulsions. fuck intrusive thoughts. fuck uncertainty. fuck constant shame. fuck constant guilt. fuck constant anticipation. fuck the sense of impending doom. fuck ruminating. fuck reassurance seeking. fuck checking. fuck the exhaustion. fuck mental torment. fuck being stuck on everything. fuck not being able to let things go. fuck stigma. fuck fear. fuck isolation. fuck desperation. fuck misery. fuck feeling like the most vile creature on this planet. fuck not being able to control your mind. fuck the temptation of humoring the obsession. fuck "what ifs". fuck the belittling. fuck the countless days and nights spent trying to figure something out for sure. fuck mental reviewing. fuck mental anguish. fuck not being able to ever fully let your guard down.
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I fucking HATE google sometimes. I have really bad OCD (and some other possible problems) and when I look up what I should do, it says "iF iT gEtS tOo SeVeRe Go tO ThErApY." BITCH I CANT JUST GO TO THERAPY. It's not that easy for me so wtf
#actually ocd#ocd#obessive compulsive disorder#ocd intrusive thoughts tryna say I'm a murder#fuck ocd#false memories#intrusive thoughts
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Hello! this blog is based on many others of this type, wanted to have this little space for us to vent, joke or just talk about this disorder.
Admin info: jonay, he/him, moral ocd + other mental disabilities.
This account is open to self diagnosed people! and also, for people without it who has doubts about the disorder, very much closed to "transids/transocd" people
#ocd#actually ocd#false attraction ocd#ocd false memories#obssesive#obssesive compulsive disorder#actually obsessive#actually compulsive#actually compulsive obssesive#ocd culture is
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you've heard of checking the locks ocd! you've heard of hand washing ocd! but have you heard of did that really bad thing happen? oh my god what if that really bad thing happened? I need to spend every waking moment trying to remember if that really bad thing happened! why? I just do! no calm down it's probably ocd…unless…that really bad thing happened! no it didn't! yes it did! did it? no, surely I'd remember something that bad right? but what if I repressed it because it was so bad? no!
#you can insert whatever bad thing into ‘‘really bad thing’’ but I'd probably have to place every trigger warning imaginable#if I put the real ‘‘really bad thing’’ that my ocd is currently obsessing over#multiple really bad things#it's called false memory ocd and it's a common theme that is rarely talked about#it's all ocd in the end i guess but it really feels like when i managed to get one theme under control a new one pops up#but I'm fine!#(she was not fine)
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Hi mutuals I’d like your opinion on a original story/comic/animation I’m working on and if any of you think it sounds interesting :3
it’s about a show host (he’s canonically a trans man and ace but in a romantic relationship with a man, it’s not big part of the plot but I can’t make myself write non queer characters lol) (also cw for character with intrusive thoughts) (and psychological horror themes)
his name is Robert and he’s got a part in his show where he reads letters from the audience, when he suddenly get very strange personal letters from an anonymous person that claims they know something horrible happened in his past. It’s very vague and Robert not remembering what they’re talking about panics and tries to figure out what these letters are all about. He gets more letters each show from this stranger leaving clues and he’s desperate to find out whether it’s something bad he did or has happened to him. The letters mention events from his past very vaguely and never revealing what happened. His partner is noticing his obsessive digging into this and tries to make him stop, understanding that the letters are probably a troll or not even real. He finally get Robert to try ignore the letters, but it’s hard since it’s a part of his show to read letters. I have thought out an ending but I don’t wanna spoil but it’s a happy ending
why I’m writing this: I experience intrusive thoughts on a daily, and it’s horrible. I wanted to write about a character where I can explore the horror of having intrusive thoughts but also how it affects other people in said characters life, and how said character learns to deal with it in a healthy way. Idk if this is the right way to do it or not but I felt like it’s such an interesting thing to explore within the horror/thriller genre
Pls leave your thoughts in inbox or comment or dm if you wanna
#I guess it’s a kinda false memory ocd allegory#I have ocd#Tell me if it’s bad rep pls I don’t wanna do any harm
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idk what's up bur i literally can't keep track of my health ?? like i keep randomly getting these recent memories of being sick and coughing a lot but i actually feel fine? or like, memories of being incredibly nauseous or getting bloody/runny noses but i feel fine or there's no evidence of it actually happening ??????? my brain keeps giving me the "i'm sick!!" alarm bells but when i think about it for more than two seconds i realise that i'm not, or at least currently not showing any symptoms of that
#i tend to randomly get really vivid memories of recent events that never actually happened#i don't know why#but they're becoming really common again and it's making it real difficult for me to assess my health#i have contamination ocd but because it's spring break and i've been home it hasn't been rlly bad at all or anyth#so??#maybe it's the start of a psychotic episode ??????#that'd make sense i guess because smth distressing has happened recently#but for one i don't know if vivid false memories like this is even a psychotic symptom#and for two if so i don't think i've gotten any other psychotic symptoms#????#not art
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How on earth is it possible for ocd to make up totally false memories but have them feel so real and you can actually visually recall them? It makes you feel like you're as big of a monster as ocd says because it has "proof" of the event
it’s possible for any brain to make up false memories. brains are very creative, but also not great at remembering everything that’s happened. it’s common for a person’s memories to get mixed up with dreams, stories they’ve heard, movies they’ve watched, etc, to the point that they truly believe something has happened that never happened
the difference with an OCD brain is:
intolerance of uncertainty
more creativity
at its root, OCD is an intolerance of uncertainty. it is a struggle to grapple with the fact that you don’t have control over everything, that you don’t have certainty about everything, and that the world is a messy place. OCD can therefore attack anything you’re uncertain about, and make you believe that there is a way to find certainty there
with false memories, your OCD is going “okay, this thing you’re anxious about is a 100% true thing that happened!”. you respond with, “I do not remember that happening, that doesn’t seem like something I’d do”… and then it spirals from there. you’ve got uncertainty because you’re being convinced that you can’t trust your brain (which is something you’re scared of)
people with OCD also tend to be more creative than the average person. in the case of false memories, this can mean that the memories feel more realistic, have a stronger narrative, and use information from outside of your own experience (e.g. I can viscerally remember punching one of my friends. I am informed this never happened, and as far as I know I have never punched anyone)
it’s complicated because brains are messy and OCD is a complex disorder. it will do anything it can to create doubt and to create uncomfortable emotions, and false memories are a pretty good way to achieve both those goals
hope this makes sense, and that your brain calms down soon
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When you forget who you are ....
Look back to when you were a child .. and happiest times
Hands grubby with sludgy sand ... face beaming in the sun ..
Favourite clothes you felt so special wearing
Birthday parties and balloons ...
Christmases with grandparents
Biggest achievements with your parents looking proud
Your favourite toys ...
And remember
All of this ....
Is still you ..
Even when life has knocked you ..
Even if you knock yourself ...
You are love, you are light
It will all be alright
#spilled ink#creative writing#short poems#poems on tumblr#lit#poems about life#poetry#short poetry#loving kindness#ocd false memory#living with mental illness#wellness#unconditional love#self love#inner strength#faith in yourself#rhyming poetry#this is life
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TW: mentions of psychosis, OCD, psychotic breakdown
Okay I'm screaming into the void, but also asking for help,
I just found out that I'm on the verge of a psychotic breakdown from a psychiatrist (or atleast that's what my mom told me that the psychiatrist said that), which im not surprised given I've developed False Memory OCD subtype, and other shit over the past year. I'm moving out to the US in less than a week. It's one thing to have a doubt that there is something with you, and another to have it confirmed by someone. Idk what I'm trying to do with this post
Maybe anyone in US or anyone who has suffered with psychosis or psychotic breakdowns, could share your story or how I can find help in US or anything or anything that helped you with dealing with psychosis, I'd appreciate that.
I hope anyone who's suffering with severe mental health issues find peace and happiness in your lives. Much love and power to you all.
#mental health#mental illness#psychosis#psychotic breakdown#share your story#asking for help#OCD#obsessive compulsive disorder#false memory
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❊｜yuuji x ocd!reader. tw: mention of intrusive thoughts, 527 words, just a comfort/vent thing i wrote bc if anyone knows what it's like to have pure and raw evil in your head it's him. sending love to all my ocd girlies out there
bf!yuuji is protective over you despite knowing very well you're a strong woman and enroll jujutsu just as he does. he can't help it, you're adorable in his eyes so babying you is a regular occurrence. and yet...
bf!yuuji opens up to you about how horrible it actually feels to share a body with a curse like sukuna. he always makes it seem like he's fine with it, like his life has gone on like normal, but the truth is it's mentally scarring in multiple ways. "sukuna is constantly lurking," he tells you, "and he just says... fucked up shit sometimes." he shares with you the incredible guilt that weighs on his chest whenever sukuna acts perverted or violent, how he blames himself for it because it's happening in his body, even though he knows that technically none of it is his fault.
bf!yuuji who tells you he feels incredibly tired and lonely, even with his girlfriend and precious friends by his side. it feels lonely yet crowded in his head and he can't stand the fear that one day he'll lose control of his body entirely.
bf!yuuji who shares with you that even though he's protective and wants to shield you, he's more scared of himself than anything. he's horrified of hurting you, his friends, his teachers.
bf!yuuji who thinks it's cute when you say you understand him - thinking you're just trying to comfort him and failing, but then is actually shocked when you reveal your disorder to him.
bf!yuuji who hugs you as tightly as he can when he realises you feel the exact fucking same as him, despite there being different reasons for it. he doesn't find it funny when you let out a dry laugh and joke "if you think sukuna's lurking in your brain now, wait for the years to come."
bf!yuuji who wants to keep you caged in his arms and comfort you forever when you confess your occasional false (and lack of) memories, and is moved when you start tearing up for him, because in his brain, nobody else would understand. but now he knows it's nobody except his soulmate.
bf!yuuji who feels guilty that it comforts him to hear his lover share the same troubles, and closes his eyes to relax when you kiss his temple softly and whisper to him that "no matter what happens, you're not alone in this, yuuji. there are other people like us, even if they have different circumstances."
bf!yuuji who falls asleep next to you that night, his arms embracing you and both your legs tangled together, your faces dry and salty from crying and sobbing in each other's arms.
bf!yuuji who loves you so much he feels like bursting, and couldn't be happier to reveal all parts of himself to you, trusting you with his heart and soul and not caring if you want to crush it or cherish it.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#yuuji itadori#yuuji x reader#jjk yuuji#yuuji comfort#fluff#slight angst#slight vent#fanfiction#jjk fanfic#jjk fanfiction#ryomen sukuna#sukuna ryomen
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OCD!Simon "Ghost" Riley
I have ocd and I can't stop thinking about Simon Riley, so I'm making him suffer like me :/
(tw: SH)
He'll lay in bed for hours analyzing and scrutinizing every action he took during the last op. False memories plague him, his mind trying to convince him that he killed that kid instead of saving her or that the enemy he shot was actually a civilian or one of his own. It's especially difficult when he has vivid nightmares about doing horrible things. He'll wake up and struggle to tell if what he remembers is a dream or something he actually did.
He doesn't speak much. Not because he doesn't have a lot to say, but because he overanalyzes and obsesses over anything that comes out of his mouth. He's so worried about hurting people with his words or saying the wrong thing, so one of his compulsions is to just avoid speaking unless absolutely necessary.
His teammates probably assume that he wears gloves all the time because he doesn't like germs, but that isn't it. Rather, he's convinced that he himself is morally tainted and that anything or anyone he touches will become tainted as well. It takes a long time for Ghost to believe that he won't ruin Soap by touching him with his bare hands.
He's also afraid to touch his teammates because he is convinced that any touch he gives will hurt the other person, regardless of if he wants to hurt them or not. So fighting out on the field isn't a problem. But any casual, friendly, romantic, or sexual touch that he gives is stressful and causes him to obsess and overanalyze. So he tends to avoid it. Which especially becomes a problem when he meets Soap and wants to touch that man constantly.
Being touched is difficult for Ghost too. Again, it doesn't really bother him in fights; he's a bit too preoccupied with not dying. But those casual, friendly, romantic, and sexual touches...those are harder. For a long time, Soap thought Ghost was touch averse. But eventually he realizes (either through Ghost telling him or just through astute observation) that Ghost needs everything mirrored. Once he begins balancing the touches he gives on both sides of Ghost's body, Soap discovers that the man is desperate for contact. He just needs it to be even.
Ghost has also trained himself to be an ambidextrous fighter. He can handle all of his weapons skillfully with either hand. He doesn't favor a side when he fights. This is partly to ensure his need for things to be even. But he's also convinced that if his strength or skill becomes unbalanced, he will not fight effectively and will die. He'll even go so far as to try to mirror the injuries he gets on ops just to make sure his body stays balanced, even though that ultimately weakens him overall.
#his themes are mostly moral ocd#harm ocd#and just right ocd#he has both physical and mental compulsions#lots of mental review and avoidance#cod#call of duty#simon riley#simon ghost riley#ghost#johnny soap mactavish#ghoap#cod headcanons#goose is honking
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lets just count every instance of ableism in ii rq
[season 1]
- bombs entire thing is that he stutters, thats his only character trait to the point others ignore him cuz he takes too long to talk
- paper basically having did/osdd but its the good ol ''evil alter'' trope
- pickle flat out saying mephone combined with the r slur.
- bomb does most of the work in the race challenge, rightfully wins and then oj is a dick and says ''hes smarter'' and the show starts acting like BOMB was in the wrong for getting upset ''bomb why! havent you caused me enough pain?'' no oj, he really hasnt, you deserved worse.
- knife constantly torments paper, reminding him of his fears time and time again. that isnt funny.
[season 2]
- tissues is chronically ill and treated like hes a disgusting creature, tissues allegedly is based on a real person adam and taylor knew. theyre mocking this person. [EDIT!!! According to Adam's recent post, the real person allegation is false. Idk for sure but I'll clarify anyway.]
- yinyang.
- hot take but fan isnt good rep. he repeatedly crosses peoples boundaries and flat out IGNORES any criticism he gets. ill talk abt cabby in a bit but fan is generally unlikeable
- soap is [i think] mocking people with ocd or germophobia, shes constantly treated like shes overreacting as if its not a mental disorder
- nickel is an ableist cunt and hes like one of the worst characters in this show [for the sake of elaboration he gave suitcase a fucking psychotic disorder]
- suitcases psychosis is only acknowledged in s3 when its used to fuel nickels bullshit
[season 3]
- can we talk about how fucking creepy it is that tt and fan made a robot version of a DEAD PERSON
-blueberry is being mocked just like tissues was
- everything with cabby, shes likeable alone but the show treats her so badly [it reminds me of entrapta from shera] bot takes away her MEMORY AID, test tube uses them against her, fan takes his without her consent. this is ableism 101. and they made her throw them away cuz ''oh you dont NEED them'' IS THIS THE SONG MASK FROM DREAM?? WHY ARE WE SUPPORTING THROWING AWAY OUR DISABILITY AIDS???
this is just a small list, im sure theres more and i got a lot of these from this twitter post.
AE is a bunch of grown adults, by now they should know better
take off ur rose colored glasses, if you dont all the red flags just look like flags
SPEAK OUT AGAINST THE ABLEISM IN THIS SHOW
[btw, comment or reblog if i forgot smtn ill make sure to bring it up!!''
#object shows#osc#object show community#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity fandom#object show#inanimate insanity 2#inanimate insanity 3#object show fandom#ii neg#ii is ableist#inanimate insanity is ableist#animation epic is ableist
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