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feral-fae-writes · 1 year

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As The World Caves In || Follow Tongue and Hold My Breath

A/N: This chapter is arriving a bit delayed due to personal reasons, but it’s a longer one. Hope that makes up for it in some way, and I hope I remember how to do this. Tissues may or may not be needed for this one; though it’s quippy and cute, it’s a bit sombre, as well. References to the film abound, see if you can spot them all. As always, like if you like, the support is very appreciated.

Fandom: The Gray Man Pairing: Courtland Gentry x Gender Neutral!Reader, Sierra Six x Gender Neutral!Reader Wordcount: 4,902 Type: Multi-Chaptered. Read Chapter 1 here, Chapter 2 here, and Chapter 3 here. Chapter Summary: Mutual revelations allow our reader to finally come to terms with their past, at least in some respect. Behind the banter, the two of them unfold, not complacent, but finally beginning to tread fallow ground. However, 99942 Apophis is getting closer and closer, so Six decides it’s time to move on. It’s only after following his intuition -- after letting go under the cleansing rain -- that everyone finds respite.

Follow Tongue and Hold My Breath

“This is your file,” Six said, holding up a thinly-filled manila in his right hand, “and this is mine.” The second folder was completely empty. You frowned. “I thought you were going to to tell me--” “I didn’t say that.” “So, you were just going to let me think you were?” “Probably.” “Were you going to tell me if I didn’t call you out on it?”

“Probably not.”

“You’re mouthy for an asshole.” “I’ve been accused of worse. Can you toss me some gum?”

You threw the gum at his face. He caught it as easily as a lie between teeth, one manila folder still in-hand, before giving you a wink, like it was nothing. “Thanks,” he replied, already unwrapping his catch. Popping it in his mouth, he crumpled up the wrapper, put it in his pocket, and then met your glaring eyes. You were focused on burning a hole right between his blue-grey gaze. “What?” He asked, voice muffled around gum. “Nothing, I just…” You trailed off, mildly caught off guard as your gaze fell apart, but managed to focus on his right hand. “Can you toss me my file?” You asked, echoing his quip. “No, but I’ll hand it to you.”

You spluttered for a second, indignant, eyeing the file that he was now offering out. You weren’t sure if you wanted to take it, but if you didn’t, you’d never be able to know anything at all. And while you weren’t sure if you cared to know about yourself, you knew you definitely wanted to know about Six. There was a smile in his eyes; he was teasing you. “What’s your problem, dude?” “Don’t have one, but you seem to have one with me. What does my kiss taste like?” He mused, countering. “Not answering that,” you replied immediately, half without thinking, half-scathing. A beat of pause, and then you cautiously took your file for yourself. Tearing your eyes away to glance at your own buried secrets, in the back of your mind you resolved to thank the man in front of you. It would happen later, at some point in the future, if any of the above ever became true: when pigs flew, when wishes came true, or when you knew who you were. As much as you’d gotten frustrated at him— with him, earlier, you couldn’t blame him now. You opened the file, bracing yourself.

And then you closed it again.

"You know what? No. I'm not doing this shit. You found out about me, now you're going to spill." You looked up from your file to see him staring at you, brows raised somewhat in disbelief. Were you really going there? Yes. Yes, you fucking were. “Why do you ask? Besides quid pro quo.” He asked, tone mock-distracted as his eyes roved over the file in your hands. “Because--” You broke off, took a deep breath. You glanced around the room, eyes looking for an escape route. Everything suddenly felt like too much; the lights of the hotel room across from you morphed into a garish white that seemed to haze instead of shine. You couldn’t look at Six anymore, instead refocusing on your hands. You didn’t know what to do with your hands, besides hoisting yourself off the balcony railing. The crickets were the only sound between you two. He certainly knew how to give you space to speak yourself into oblivion. Like hell you’d take the bait. Instead, you mentally ran in circles.

You hadn’t even looked through the damn thing. So why did you feel the need to explain? It’s not like you were in confessional. But this felt like a betrayal all the same, because even though you meant the words you were about to say, they weren’t just for him. They were selfish, blanketing your feelings so you didn’t have to face them for what they were. It was the truth though, and you weren’t going to shy away from being honest with him.

Swallow your pride, c’mon. Say it!

“Because it doesn’t matter. I want to get to know you. Not… not a number. You’re not a number to me.” You finished. Your voice came out more steady than you expected but you still felt yourself floundering in the ensuing silence, desperate to get your thoughts across. But you weren’t going to fold. Yeah, you were conflicted as all hell, but this wasn’t about you. You knew you could look at the damn file later. You knew he knew that, too.

He sighed, then looked up at you with those puppy-like blue greys. He sounded so resigned, his voice dropping an octave in disagreement, as if his very veins were refusing this emotional bloodletting. It made a cool, coppery shiver go up your spine. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything. What’s your name? Your history? Your favourite colour? Genre of music?” You were aware you were barraging him with questions, but you didn’t really care. Answers felt long overdue, and honestly, all you wanted to do was hear him talk.

Six fell silent at your eagerness, expression looking burned when you said history. It occurred to you, distantly, that there were most likely multiple reasons for his reserved nature, and in that same second that it took you to connect the dots, you felt very, very ashamed. But he didn’t outwardly react — for a second, you worried you went too far — either that, he was thinking about how to approach the situation of being poked and prodded for information he didn’t want to give. “Gentry. Courtland Gentry. Not as smooth as James Bond, but we’re in the same line of work, so…” Six trailed off in amusement, chuckling bitterly almost to himself. It sounded smoky and hurt, as if he were hiding himself away at the same time he gave his own name. “Don’t have a favourite colour. Jazz. Vinyls over digital, or Claire would kill me,” he said, shaking his head in amusement. “How’d you meet her? I’m guessing you’re not family.” “She’s the closest thing I’ve got to it,” Six -- Courtland -- replied, expression turning sombre. “Her uncle was the closest thing I had to a father. He was also the one that recruited me. And now he’s upstairs.”

“Recruited you?”

“To work for the CIA, as Sierra. Value add.” His reply was short. He blew a small bubble, snapped his gum; it punctuated the ensuing silence with a pop. “His words, not mine.”

“You seem almost… sarcastic about that last part.”

“Hah, he said the same thing: ‘I get it. You’re glib.’” Six said, letting out a dry bark of amusement. You watched as he sat down, almost preparing himself for what he was about to unpack next. You didn’t need or want to say anything else -- you were just following tongue and holding your breath. You hadn’t missed what he’d said about Claire’s uncle, but now wasn’t the time to inquire further about that. Six had enough to comb through for you to ask more than you really deserved to know.

“Your mother?” You asked softly, knowing you were already treading ground he wasn’t comfortable with.

“Died when I was young.”

“Right,” you replied, sensing he didn’t want to talk about her further. You hesitated to press further about his other parent. “Should I ask?”

“You’ve already started the conversation,” Six pointed out. “No point in stopping now.”

“Tell me about him. Please?” “Okay.”

Six let out a growly sigh, dragging one hand down his face in exhaustion. It seemed like this had happened before, just a moment of deja vu that wasn’t yours, but he shook it off. “My father thought he was tough. Fancied himself a real macho man. He was hell-bent on turning me and my brother into the same, and… And, one day, I realised--” Six broke off, to steel himself to continue. When he spoke again, it wasn’t to you. It was to the cigarette burn peeking out of his sleeve. “I realised it was going to be either my brother or him. I decided it was going to be him.” Six let out a sniffle, eyes following your gaze. Almost in response, the burn went back into hiding as he continued. His voice covered for it -- a distraction, a wingman against prying eyes. “I thought, ‘how noble of me,’ and everyone else thought I should be in jail.” He finished, and though his voice was steady, you could see it in his eyes.

He was clearly in pain, even now, and there was nothing you could do to help it. You could see why he felt like he was Sisyphus: he’d never been allowed to heal-- the gods kept punishing him, and punishing him, and punishing him, and he deserved none of it. You wanted to say something, but didn’t know what you could. It wasn’t about you. It never was.

“Anything else you wanna know?” He asked, eyes on yours. It was like he was looking for answers, as if the question was more for himself than you, but he said it so nonchalantly you’d think nothing was wrong. “How many years?” You asked, voice a whisper. “Eight,” he replied. “Fitz found me eight years into a thirty-six year sentence. I would’ve been out at a cool fifty-one if not for him.”

You fell silent, swallowing the lump in your throat. The math meant that he was incarcerated at 15. He had to have been tried as an adult, there was no other way to explain why the sentence was that long. You supposed he could’ve gone to a juvenile correctional facility, but he would’ve aged out within three years… that, and you had no idea when he was born, just the year. You felt guilty. And stupid -- so very stupid. All you could do was shake your head; you wanted to say something but all that came out was a strange little gasp, and then you felt wetness on your cheeks. “You’re crying.” He said, a robotic observation, softened by his tone. “May I?”

No shit, Sherlock.

You never cried. Then again, you’d never had a reason to cry before the events of the past few months. You really weren’t cut out for this, you realised, as you stood there, trying to breathe, trying to get yourself under control. You didn’t know what he meant by the question, but nothing he could do would upset you -- it was how he was treated that upset you -- but you knew he knew that. Still, he was asking permission. He’d been through so much, and he was asking you permission for the simplest things, and that stabbed you through the heart. You finally let out a shaky breath. “May you what?” You croaked, voice hoarse. “Wipe away your tears,” he replied, closing the gap between you two in one stride. He took the manila from you and set it aside; you’d forgotten it was in your hands. He was so close now, emotionally and physically, and you swore no one would ever see you like this since the first time, but Six had seen both. “Please,” you whispered. The word came out without even thinking.

“You’re too beautiful to cry,” he replied, his voice just as quiet. “Not over me. Don’t cry over me,” he chuckled, shaking his head. A hand rose to cup your jaw, his thumbs ghosting over your skin, his touch as light as a feather as he brushed your tears away. You couldn’t look away from him, and looking into the grey, you felt all your walls finally fall. You’d been lying to yourself, telling yourself that this was just misplaced affection. He’d saved you, so, of course, you’d be infatuated -- but everything you felt was unconsciously growing like weeds, tangled and confused, all-consuming if you didn’t keep an eye on them. And you’d allowed your weeds to grow, encouraged them, even. You couldn’t hide from yourself anymore.

At least your weeds were made of wishes.

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You wondered, on some level, if Six felt the same, if his mental garden had gotten the best of him, too — if weeds he thought he’d eradicated suddenly reappeared between cracked lines of stoic concrete. You knew better than to ask. He knew how to disappear, and if he felt the need, he would. You stared down at your file, and the dandelion in your hand. It made you want to disappear, too.

You weren’t supposed to be outside, but you needed the air. You needed to think. “You’re not supposed to be out here,” Six chirped. “I know. Just… Looking at the folder.” You turned around, only to meet his eyes, lifted the dandelion, and without blinking, blew it into his impassive expression, getting no reaction barring the slightest rise of his right brow. He spat out a few dandelion fuzzies from between his lips in annoyance, as more than a few settled in his hair.

“I’m guessing you haven’t opened it yet,” he said.

“Nope,” you replied. Like hell you were going to crack, but you couldn’t help but bite your lip. He hadn’t noticed. “I almost don’t want to.”

“It’s there if you do. Regardless, we have to keep moving.” He said, already turning back towards the hotel’s automatic double doors. “We’ve stayed here too long.”

“I know— wait, what?” You grabbed his shoulder. He froze, then turned back towards you with a sigh. The fuzzies embedded themselves further into blonde. Leaving the hotel room you’d been in for the past several months felt like a type of treason. Even though you couldn’t quite name it, you felt the anxiety flush into your system — but you’d done nothing wrong. You found yourself at a loss for words, his right brow now further up his forehead like a wannabe elevator. You could tell he was frustrated at himself, that he wanted to say, ‘You heard me,’ but was biting his tongue.

Needless to say, you wanted to change the subject.

“May I?” “What? “You have, um, dandelion wi-- seeds in your hair. Can I…?”

He just nodded, eyes on yours. “By all means,” he murmured. You reached up to run your hands through his hair, cautious and tentative. You didn’t expect it to be so soft, and paused for a second. All the fuzzies in his hair, scattered around, looked a bit like a flower crown, and it made you smile. “Sorry, I… You look like you’ve got a crown.” His lips flinched into his signature smile, and for a moment, he seemed shy. You noticed that his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled.

“That’d be a novel concept, wouldn’t it?” He asked.

“I guess so,” you replied softly, gently running your fingers through his hair, combing out dandelion seeds along the way, before ruffling his hair back into its signature dirty-blonde banged fringe. It almost looked like rusted gold in the sunlight, and as you stepped back to admire your work, dandelion seeds in your right palm, you were tempted to blow them back into his face just so you could do it all over again. “There,” you said approvingly. A second passed; you wanted to say something more, but wasn’t sure what.

“Thanks.” A beat of comfortable silence, before he thumbed back towards the entrance. “Shall we? Claire’s already packing.”

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You walked in on Claire rolling her clothes up, still holding the dandelion seeds. She looked up at the sound of the door closing. Seeing her confirmed what Six had said earlier, and now that the information had time to settle, you couldn’t disagree it was the right move. You’d stayed in the hotel for far too long, practically speaking, and it was time to move on. “Hey, the lovebirds are back,” she quipped, voice just mildly sarcastic. “Took ya long enough. Remind me what’s going on?” Her eyes drifted to the dandelion seeds in your hand in curiosity, but she didn’t prod. “I already told you: we’re dropping you off at Agent Miranda’s,” Six replied. “At least until I get this situation sorted out. I don’t want you in danger we can avoid, if I can help it.”

Claire’s face flickered with frustration, turned to betrayal, and then hurt all in one breath. But she didn’t voice her feelings, not at first. Even she knew there were bigger fish to fry. And it was all because of you. Then the dam burst.

“Why?! I didn’t think you were serious, Six! And you know I didn’t mean that,” Claire finally said, affronted. “I’m not just gonna leave you--” “I know what you meant and you’re not getting an answer. It’s not mine to give. You’ll have Dani with you, okay?” Claire’s expression crumpled, turned slightly desperate, a ghost of what you guessed she’d experienced in the past. She didn’t want to lose him again, that much was obvious, and you suspected she’d said those exact words before. Claire looked away from Six, who’d already started packing, to you. You hadn’t moved a muscle since you’d heard the words Agent Miranda, but took a breath and headed to the closet to pull your clothes down -- both to think and collect yourself. There wasn’t any time to feel hurt, and it would be childish to feel hurt in the first place over something like this. And you’d already hurt Claire, stolen her only family away from her -- even if it was a temporary arrangement. It only made sense to stay quiet, hold your breath. You didn’t hold anything against her. You just weren’t sure how to feel. You scattered the dandelion seeds around the floor of the closet. They’d be swept up eventually, but at least, for now, they’d bear witness to the wishes in your head.

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After checking out, the three of you surreptitiously made your way to the hotel’s parking garage, under the dim light of early morning the following day. You were both surprised and unsurprised to see your getaway car was a military-grade black van. It was hidden away from most, if not all the cameras, in a corner near one of the exits. No one would miss one black car out of hundreds, or so you hoped.

The trip was surreal and silent. Six was driving, Claire was asleep in the backseat, and you were passenger-side, watching the trees speed past, as if they were running like the wind blew. “Something on your mind?” The question surprised you. Six wasn’t the type to ask questions -- and you were usually the one asking him questions. Pestering him, really. You looked away from the side window to focus on the road, and as you turned, you caught him watching you curiously.

“Why do you ask?”

“You’re not usually this quiet.” “You don’t usually ask questions.”

“Touché,” he replied. More silence. “What’s she like? Agent Miranda?” “She’s a friend of mine. You can trust her.”

That told you nothing. His tone told you everything else, that he’d already known what you were thinking about and simply wanted to confirm, and, to be honest, you were pretty shit at hiding your emotions. Something told you this wasn’t up for debate, and you hated that.

“How do I know that for sure?”

“Because she saved my life,” he said, his tone coming out sharp, a dog’s bite without the bark.

She’d saved his life, and he’d saved yours. You had that in common. Kind of.

“That’s a fair point.” You fell silent, mollified for now, but you were also undeterred. You’d just have to talk to her yourself. It was almost funny how you could trust him and Claire so easily, but the minute anyone else came in the picture, your hackles raised. You shrank back against the window, averting your eyes toward the rising sun through the trees. “Hey, what’s going on?” Claire asked, mid-yawn, her arms dangling over both of your seats. You jumped in your seat, not enough for her to notice in her half-awake state, but definitely enough for Six to give you amused side-eye. He answered for both of you. “Nothing. We were just talking to keep me awake. Gum, please?” “Sure thing,” Claire replied, with her usual disbelieving, sarcastic tone. “You want me to sit here and stare at my shoes while you two pantomime communication, too?” You noticed she still handed him a stick of watermelon Bubblicious. As always, she was unfazed by his gruff and grumpy demeanour. It made you smile. “You should go back to bed. It’s 7 A.M. and another eleven hours before we get to Dani’s,” Six replied, voice muffled around watermelon gum. He stuffed the crumpled up wrapper into his pocket. “Nah. Can we get ice cream for breakfast?” Claire asked.

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You finally arrived at Agent Miranda’s apartment the following day, sometime around 6 P.M. under a light shower of rain and mist. By that point, you were too exhausted for much of anything, despite the fact that this was the first time in a long time you’d gone outside for more than five minutes. You were not at all surprised to see the cameras near the front door, nor the intercom, but you did want to stay back just in case. However, Six didn’t give you that option. “Let her see your face,” he’d said, an asleep Claire in his arms. He’d sheltered her from the rain; consequently, both his bangs and his beard dripped with rainwater every so often. “Ring the doorbell. I’ll do the talking.” “Okay,” you’d replied, feeling like a fish out of water, which was rather ironic because you were getting mildly soaked. For a few long minutes, there was nothing but the soft pitter-patter of rain.

When the buzzer went, you jumped. “Yes?” Her accent was thick, but not unintelligible. Something about her voice put you at ease, despite her direct tone.“Have you tried aluminium siding?” Six asked. You could tell it was a code. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. You glanced nervously between Six and the blinking camera. “I prefer filigree.”

“Hey, at least you don’t have to paint,” Six replied, tone mildly amused.

“What is it, Six?”

Six let out a long breath, glancing down at Claire for a second, before eyeing the camera. “Mind keeping an eye on the kid?” “No, but for how long?”

“Just until I get something sorted out.”

A few minutes passed, before you heard a few clicks and beeps from within. The door unlocked. “Get in.”

“As long as it’s not the trunk,” he chuckled, weary. You gave him a confused look, but he didn’t answer, instead stepped inside the opening door. Dani’s hand was only just visible. She took care of her nails. You followed Six meekly, a pace behind, and as soon as all three of you were out of the rain, she shut the door. It locked itself.

“Shoes off, please. Tea? Coffee?” “Hot chocolate,” Six replied, already barefoot by the time she was done with her questions. He headed towards the nearby mauve couch to lay Claire down and took off her shoes, one Nike off after the other. “When Claire wakes up, she’ll want some. Blankets?” “Closet,” she replied, not looking away from the bright red kettle of milk on her gas stove, cocoa powder and four mugs on the counter beside. Her hair was a dark brown that rested a bit past her shoulders, straight but curled at its ends. The kitchenette was varying spots of red and black and white and chrome, and you got the sense that Agent Dani Miranda was one classy woman, a take-no-shit-for-answers type. You decided that you liked her.

Setting your shoes beside Six’s, you fully stepped into the semi-open concept apartment. You passed him on his way back to set Claire’s shoes down, now similarly barefoot and chilled. His fingertips alighted on your shoulder. You stopped in your tracks in response, a drenched Pavlov's bitch.

“Do you want a blanket, too?” You only nodded, shivering. Dani’s apartment wasn’t cold, but moving from being outside in the rain to indoors was apparently a difficult transition. You stood there, at the threshold between a shut door and an open room, unsure of what to do, before Six came back a few minutes later. He put a soft white blanket around your shoulders, which you pulled in closer. For his part, he had just a towel around his own. His hair was still damp, but no longer dripping.

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“You grew your hair out,” Six quipped. “I did.” Agent Miranda -- Dani -- went quiet. She had a heart-shaped face, and big brown eyes, and if it weren’t for the sharp mind behind them, you’d have thought her a doe. You knew that look: it was filled with annoyance, calculation and curiosity, all at once. Six took a sip of his hot chocolate, both hands around the warmth of his cup, but kept his eyes on hers. It was like he was trying to read her thoughts.

“What are you thinking?” Six asked.

“I’m thinking about what to do with you.”

“Think about it this way: Claire didn’t ask for this, neither did I. And neither did--” “Get comfortable,” Dani said, cutting him off with a raised hand.

“‘Get comfortable’ like we’re making a plan, or… or, like, ‘cushy prison cell’ comfortable?” He asked, tentative. Agent Miranda rolled her eyes. You couldn’t help but snort at that, which prompted a look from the newly met agent. “You and I need to talk. Tell me what’s happened. I want to hear it from you,” she said softly. “I don’t bite. Unless you’re Denny Carmichael.”

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About half an hour later, you were in Agent Miranda’s tiny self-renovated home office. She’d been kind enough to sequester you away from Six and Claire, both to give you a breather and them some time to recover from the long drive. She’d put marshmallows in Claire’s mug, the jumbo ones, at Six’s request. She’d taken your mugs with her, and was now reheating them in the microwave. You sat in one of her fuzzy office chairs, knees pulled to your chest. It was white, and you sunk into it. There were shelved files on the opposite wall, and a sleek silver laptop on her desk.

“Careful, it’s hot,” she warned, handing you your mug.

“Thanks,” you whispered, wrapping your hands around it.

Agent Miranda walked around her desk, sat down in an identical chair. For a second, she just observed, and it made you want to squirm. You merely gripped the mug tighter, stared into its dark chocolatey depths.

“Who are you?” She asked.

“I can-- I can tell you. Or, um, show you. One second.” You placed your mug on the office desk, opened Six’s jacket -- he’d made you wear it because of the waterproof pockets on the inside -- and took out your file. You slid it in her direction. “I haven’t read it myself yet.”

“Okay,” she replied cautiously. She took a sip of her hot chocolate, lifted the file off the desk, put her mug down, then began to read. You felt like a misbehaving student in front of the school principal. You picked your mug back up.

It took her a few long minutes, eyes scanning the page. She’d forgotten her hot chocolate in favour of whatever was in your file. You kept sipping your own. By the time you were finished, she was, too.

“I see,” she murmured. “Why haven't you read it?” “I don’t want to anymore. Apparently my entire life has been a lie, so… why should anything on those pages matter?” You asked, shrugging. Her expression turned from curious to one of sympathetic understanding, and she went quiet for a second. You continued, glancing down at your empty mug. You couldn’t look her in the eyes. “I was kidnapped, held hostage in a basement for months, Six saved me, and now I just wanna start over. I wanna lose myself. Is that so bad?”

“No, it’s not.” She didn’t say anything after that — for what felt like a very long time. You could tell she was thinking things over. Maybe she was thinking about what to do with you, too.

“Can I ask you something?” You asked, tentatively. “Of course,” she replied, her head tilting slightly. She hadn’t expected that from you, as far as you could tell, but she wasn’t showing it. “Did you really save his life?” You whispered. You had an inkling, slightly, that he’d been telling the truth, that he wouldn’t lie about something like that. But you wanted to confirm for yourself. “Twice,” she replied. A faint, flinching smile appeared on her expression, before she let out a small breath, collecting herself. “I need to talk to Six, if you don’t mind,” she said, taking up both of your empty mugs.

“Okay,” you replied. “Thank you, Agent Miranda.”

“You can call me Dani, if you want.”

“Okay.”

And then she was gone, and you were left staring at the black wall divider. There was only silence on the other side. You couldn’t tell how long it’d been, but eventually, the wall divider opened again, and Dani peeked into the office — only one eye was visible. When she spoke, her voice was painfully soft.

“You can come back into the living room now, love. Claire’s awake, as well. We’ve made a plan.”

#sierra six #sierra six x reader #courtland gentry #courtland gentry x reader #court gentry #court gentry x reader #court #court x reader #the gray man #the gray man 2022 #claire fitzroy #dani miranda #as the world caves in #chapter 4 #my fic #fanfic #fae writes

38 notes · View notes

nuclearforest · 1 year

Note

For Claire and Briar ;)

blood: what would your OC would sacrifice everything for? what does “everything” entail—their life, or something else? how far would they go? fake: has your OC ever been lied to? what was the lie? how has it affected them?

idol: has your OC been in a position where a lot of people were looking down on (or up to) them? how do they handle the pressure of fame? of criticism?

Howdy Athena!!! Ty for the ask--I'm sitting here sincerely debating how or if I could ever draw Claire and/or Briar, but know that I want to. Also know that I want to do like. Full timelines and character bios for each and this just reinforces it lol.

blood:

Claire is a tough nut to crack here. Above all else she's come to value preservation of the human condition as a thing of beauty and inspiration; but she's also hella possessive over adopted son Schrodinger and mate Hans. So either thing she could readily burn herself out for, although there's yet to really be a threat significant enough to humanity to warrant pushing herself beyond her limits and finding out if there really is a way for that inner wildfire to burn itself to nothing. [Although her little completely non-canon power trip story results in the complete derailment of the Major's London plot when she outright murders everybody in Mill, if that event had gone down there would've been another competitor flying in after settling what happened in the states. Think "crashing the first jet she found that could make it to London into the Major's zeppelin with a cup of Starbucks" kind of deal.]

Briar, on the other hand is easy. She has nowhere near as much (literal) firepower as Claire but, similarly, would happily give herself up for mate Barrett (thanks, @rotten-hearts-sharp-teeth!) or the family she'd inevitably go on to make with him. Valued as a food and vitality source, she'd even offer herself up as a fae "pet" if that's what it took to keep him safe--which is pretty much the epitome fae nightmare of endless servitude and bloodletting. [Would Barrett let that happen? Never. But it's sweet that his little bunny is out there getting protective of him.]

fake:

Claire has been lied to plenty. As a young girl suddenly coming into immense strength with about nobody looking out for her in an age where she wasn't really given any credibility (even after she grows up), she's taken a lot of shit from the men that used to run the early anti-supernatural programs in the colonial states. Even, at times, the pre-Alucard Hellsings in British colonies responding to threats. But it hasn't been anything big, usually, because she's got a hell of a nose for bullshit.

The biggest overall lie is what drives her plot to go down to Brazil on a little sabbatical, merk all of Mill, and kidnap her mate: (at least in my verse) the CIA was getting involved with the Major and ended up trading weapons and intel for the catboy recipe. Needless to say Claire prevented another catboy situation early on, but had to find out a lot of things and bully a lot of people to get the information she needed to learn about the deal, especially given that nothing was on paper. In the end, she makes that trip for Murder in the late 80s and early 90s and gets a mate out of it. Not too bad a deal TBH.

Briar, on the other hand, hasn't really been lied to. She's sheltered. Grew up in a large fae family with 10 siblings (two older brothers only) and four parents. She still had to parent her younger siblings a lot (her brothers weren't expected to) but there wasn't really a lot they could get away with. She's too sweet to lie to and doesn't really dole out punishments. And outside the home, Briar has a very good lie detector coming from a fae background. So there's been nothing earth shattering, but part of her appeal is in how soft and squishy she is.

idol:

As the supernatural acting leader (and yes, there are human ones over her head for bureaucratic / organizational reason) of the US supernatural institution (I have not yet conceived of a name; probably Department of Something to match the trend that already exists), Claire is idol to a lot of folks. Even moreso because she has strong mentor vibes and can (and will) adopt anybody she comes across. TO that end she has quite a few understudies that are significantly less fleshed out as OCs. Overall, their relationships are positive and Claire is a good, if not mildly violent, influence.

That said, the pressure of operating in her position is no issue, even if she wished she got some of the lighter field missions, too, and didn't sit doing paperwork, reading reports, and sitting in meetings on most days. At least the supernatural research is entertaining? Anyway, the criticism side of things doesn't bug her and she's pretty impervious to most insults. Some is even considered good feedback so she can adjust herself. Generally speaking, her only sore point is related to her selection of Hans as a mate, which she usually shuts down before she gets pissed (because for as many complaints as there are about his origins... she also kidnapped him. And hosted him without setting him free for a long time until he outright settled with her anyway. So that is pretty damn sus).

Lastly, Briar was looked up to by her siblings. And it seemed normal at the time for her to carve away parts of her life to live for them (and she naturally falls into a very similar role at first with Barrett). So the pressure of mock parenthood and later literal parenthood feels natural, but any criticism on her handling of things or on her choices isn't usually well met. She'll get surprisingly upset being told she's wrong, or being yelled at and told the teen angst "I hate you!" or other stereotypical phrase. It's unfortunately easy to make her cry, and anybody who does had better hope that her lucky werewolf isn't around.

There's a bit more than this (see the looked down on, instead of being looked up to) but I'm not about to spoil shit on that end lol.

#hellsing oc #hellsing ultimate #mun rambles #ty athena i do love a good ramble #fire lady claire #bunny briar #fae oc #werewolf oc

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staciass · 5 months

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My December TBR ….

A Court Of Blood & Bindings By Lisette Marshall

//* continuation from my November reads.

Lord Of Gold & Glory By Lisette Marshall

//* Next book in the “Fae Isles” series which I already own so assuming ACOBAB ends as well as I think it will it’ll probably be the next book I pick up.

From Blood & Ash By JLA

//* I’m going to need to re-read this as I plan of reading through the FBAA series before reading the “Flesh And Fire” series. /sigh

A Kingdom Of Flesh And Fire by Jennifer L. Armentrout

//* next book in the FBAA series book 2.

What Lies Beyond The Veil by Harper L. Woods

//* I really want to try and finish this book as I’ve heard some great things /feedback about this so hopefully I’ll pick it back up in December as I already own this book.

Savage Lands by Stacey Marie Brown

//* I’ve been meaning to pick this book back up after I DNF this book in September/October.

A Touch Of Darkness By Scarlett St. Clair

//* Hades x Persephone. It’s supposed to be really good if you like that kind of thing and I can’t wait to read this!!

Rhapsodic by Laura Thalassa

//* The Bargainer series book 1. I did DNF this in October but I really want to re-read this as I’ve heard it raved about so much and yeah I’m ready to re-try this book!!

Dragon Actually by G.A Aiken

//* The first book of “Dragon Kin” series. This would be a re-read for me because I read this a couple years ago and I love this book just sfm !!! ❤️

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bergamotmandarin · 6 months

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#bergamot ocs #heres two more lmao #mishka is the guardian of the fae forest around claire and olivers village #also one of hawthornes best friends! theyve known each other for years #theyre a deer fae 💕 also sowiis mentor and pseudo parent #forest fae dont really have parents? they just kinda grow out from the forest in places with concentrated magic #but mishka loves sowii like a child and is very protective. theyre teaching sowii to be the next guardian of the forest #they only let sowii leave the forest with claire and oliver because hawthorne is with them #and pyrite! my girl my darling angel #shes the daughter of a witch who couldnt have children so she carved her out of stones from the fae forest #sadly her mother passed from a mysterious illness that also took her entire village so now she lives alone on the edge of the fae forest #she makes amulets and jewelry and eventually meets the gang who take her with them on their adventures #pyrite is one of my favorites 💕 she deserves the world

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maepolzine · 2 years

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Books I'm Looking Forward to Reading in June 2022

Sharing books releasing in June 2022 that I'm looking forward to reading.

Photo by Vincenzo Malagoli on Pexels.com I haven’t done a post like this since March, while there have been new releases since then there wasn’t a lot to the point where I felt inclined to write a post like this. But in June there are five books that I’m looking forward to coming out this month. Of course, there will be other books that I will be reading as well. Most of which will be off Kindle…

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#black rose fae #book #hades and persephone #hades saga #icehome #monsters and muses #new releases #Pop Culture #raven kennedy #ruby dixon #sav r miller #scarlett st clair #t h hann #the plated prisoner

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acey-wacey · 1 year

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i’m a newer twst fan and came across your account while scrolling through tumblr and really liked your first year “meeting their future children” hcs ! May i request the same for all of the dorm leaders ? Or just Malleus, Azul and Leona as they’re my fav dorm leaders ^^ its okay if not , i hope u have a good day/night regardless !

I love these headcanons and I have already planned out the baby names for all the characters future children!!!!

...

🐲 Malleus Draconia 🐲

It was late at night and you were taking your usual evening walk with Malleus.

The two of you walked in comfortable silence, admiring the scenery of the campus peacefully.

At least it was peaceful before a little girl ran up to you and hid behind your leg, closely followed by two older boys.

"Mama, tell Killian to stop being mean!" the girl cried.

"I barely even touched you!" the shorter boy replied.

"He's pulling on my horns!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Hey!" you yelled, quieting the children.

You were quite used to wrangling kids at this point *cough* Grim *cough* so it didn't take more than a stern look to make them behave.

"Who are you kids anyway? Where are your parents?"

The three kids looked at each other in confusion.

"You're right there, mama. If we're playing hide and seek, you're not very good at it," the oldest boy said, confused but playful.

You perked up upon realizing he called you Mama.

You also noticed just then how strikingly similar that boy looked to Malleus.

All three children had dark horns just like the dragon fae but the girl and youngest boy had a hair color and texture more similar to your own.

"They're... Our children?" Malleus questioned, amused.

It wasn't the weirdest magical phenomenon he had witnessed in his years but it was definitely the best to him, considering how you became very flustered at the prospect of having children with him.

"It seems our timelines have gotten muddled. Would you mind introducing yourselves?" Malleus bent down to look the children in the eye.

The oldest beamed and stood up tall.

"I'm Adonis, he's Killian, and Agape is the baby!"

"You're adorable!" You cooed, patting each of them on the head.

You didn't notice Malleus gazing at you lovingly, quite enjoying the quiet domestic moment.

That glimpse of the future fueled his fantasies for many dreams to come.

...

🐙 Azul Ashengrotto 🐙

It was more than a shock when Jade called you to come to the Mostro Lounge only to find Azul playing with two little girls.

He lit up when you walked in, only to curl in on himself in embarrassment.

"Y/N, this is Claire and Mia Ashengrotto," he shyly introduced the two girls who waved enthusiastically.

"Your little sisters?"

"Nope."

"Cousins?"

"Uh-uh."

"Nieces?"

"For Seven's sake! They're your daughters from the future, Y/N! Keep up!" Floyd interrupted, sick of Azul's bashfulness.

"Our... daughters?"

"Mum!"

The two girls jumped off of Azul's lap to run to you.

They each hugged one of your legs with the younger one jumping up for you to pick her up.

You obliged and bounced her on your hips while she giggled.

Azul's embarrassment only grew as you smiled so lovingly at the little girl that shared his hair color and the pudginess from his childhood.

He told you how much he wanted to meet the little girls again in the future, but he forgot that he had yet to ask you out.

...

🦁 Leona Kingscholar 🦁

It wasn't a great surprise to find Leona napping, but he wasn't usually joined by two little boys.

The boys woke up first and were delighted to see you.

"Imma!"

The older boy, who looked about 11, sat up and reached for your hand. You took it, though you were very confused.

"Abba already told us that you won't know who we are. I'm Amir! Arlow, introduce yourself."

The younger boy rubbed the sleep from his eyes and yawned, his baby fangs showing and reminding you of a certain other beastman.

"I'm Arlow. Hi, Imma."

You giggled at the sleepy little boy and sat down on the bed.

"So you are the children of me and Leona, I suppose?"

"Mhm."

"Wouldn't be the worst husband in the world, I guess."

"I heard that."

You were startled by Leona suddenly speaking.

He had one eye cracked open and a lazy smirk on his face.

"You wouldn't be the worst spouse either, Y/N."

He chuckled, leaving you a blushing mess.

You refused to let him fluster you too much so you retorted.

"Are you sure you would want to marry a nasty herbivore like me?"

"Wouldn't doubt it for a second."

You were about to sputter back a rebuttal but Amir interrupted you with a tug on your arm.

"Imma, stop flirting and come cuddle with us!"

"Yeah, Imma."

Leona smirked at you and snuggled into the bed, an arm around both boys on either side of him.

You laid down next to Arlow, who turned to snuggle into your shoulder.

You guessed it wouldn't be that bad to marry Leona, but only because you want to see Amir and Arlow again obviously.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x reader #disneytw #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader

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acrosstimeandspace · 6 months

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looking for a spooky battle brain to challenge! well, hopefully if geeta will let him put up a battle frontier in paldea!

this is clair, a hopeful battle brain and former coordinator! he’s the younger sibling of fantina and tucker, and like their siblings originally from kalos!

gâteau, their banette, is their partner pokemon and he can mega evolve.

(clair uses he/they pronouns)

#fae’s doodles #battle brain clair #self insert #trainersona #self ship #i made him to self ship with rika and grusha ^.^

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acourtofthought · 2 months

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Jamie could not go home because he was a fugitive. Lucien can not return to Autumn because of his father and brothers. Claire could not go home because she was unable to make it back to the stones. Elain can not go home because she was turned fae. Jamie eventually said this to Claire: "You are my home now, Claire." Claire eventually said this to Jamie: "I want us to make a home together. A place that's ours."

There are hints for Elain ending up in Spring with Lucien already being stationed there. There are hints for Elucien to end up in Day. But it honestly doesn't matter what court they end up in because home will be any place they are together ❤️

#elain archeron #lucien vanserra #pro elucien #elucien

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avirxy · 13 days

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Fae!Mary AU, if you're still taking 5 headcanons asks?

1. Mary’s always been curious of humans, they’re so strange, and when she gets the opportunity to slip into the human realm why not? It’s usually only allowed to those specifically tasked by the Pale Lady, but no one’s gonna notice.

2. She meets the werewolf first, by accident really, in the dark of the woods howling screams kinda draw attention. By morning the girl lying unconscious on the forest floor seems to be sleeping quite peacefully, until she jerks awake and tries to attack. Mary watches her fall face first into the mud, too exhausted and uncoordinated so soon after transforming. She tries to restrain her snickers.

3. Only to find herself surrounded by a witch, and two boys with pretty cool looking weapons. They’re friends with the werewolf obviously, she tries to assure she means no harm, which they don’t trust but she’s let go, sent away.

4. Mary hangs around though, watching, they’re a tight, together little group and they all care about each other deeply. How nice it must be, to have that stability, Fae are tricky creatures, you can’t ever trust their intentions, even amongst their own kind.

5. Apparently the four don’t have good chemistry with Fae, she learns, they sort of just let her trail along, like a stray cat, the short one is eager to tell her all about the human world. The werewolf’s brother was stolen. Mary’s never seen him in the fae realm but she knows the creature posing as the baby, NotEnrique.

6. She’s not actually interested in using their names, it’s strange, Mary feels oddly protective of them eventually, so when they do tell her their names, finding her trustworthy, Mary vows to never use them for her own gain.

7. And when she offers to open a portal to the fae realm so they can go get Claire’s brother, that’s a whole different problem, because the fae realm is nothing like the human one.

#she’d probably know Strickler too but they definitely wouldn’t get along #trollhunters #tales of arcadia #toa #mary wang #toby domzalski #jim lake jr #darci scott #claire nuñez #au #asks

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thatdruidgal · 1 year

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grimoire organization 2022

Greetings, everyone! This is how I've organized my grimoire for 2022. I use Obsidian to write it digitally.

This is just my personal preference for organization, so no worries if yours looks different! There are as many ways to organize a grimoire as there are witches and wizards in the world.

Tell me what you think! What parts do you like? What do you think I should add? Anything I'm missing or suggestions to make it better? Feel free to comment how you organize your grimoire below!

Farewell, and good tidings!

Branwen

---------

01.00 introduction

01.01 book blessing + protection

01.02 devotion/dedication

01.03 codes/rules/tenets

personal code

code of celtic druidism

the celtic commandments

01.04 intentions and goals

goals

intentions

01.05 learn more/add to grimoire (notes)

02.00 about author

02.01 names

02.02 personal craft

02.03 life path number

02.04 birth tarot card

the emperor

02.05 astrology birth chart

sun in leo

moon in capricorn

ascendant in aquarius

mercury in virgo

venus in leo

mars in pisces

jupiter in leo

saturn in cancer

uranus in pisces

neptune in aquarius

pluto in sagittarius

02.06 celtic zodiac

hazel “the knower”

02.07 personal beliefs (brief)

02.08 favorites

color

magical tools

herbs

crystals

02.09 relationships with spiritual beings

02.10 psychic abilities (clair-)

02.11 personal signature/symbols

02.12 ancestry

02.13 how i want to be remembered

03.00 basics

03.01 types of spells

cleansing

saining

warding

enchanting

verbal spells

invocation

evocation

candle spells

sigil spells

jar spells

ratchets

rituals

03.02 ritual work

the ritual model

intent

visualization

consecration

meditation + grounding

directing energy

clockwise vs. counterclockwise

03.03 types of correspondences

protection

healing

cleansing

banishing

luck

mental clarity

03.04 sabbats

about sabbats

yule (winter solstice)

imbolc

ostara (spring equinox)

beltane

litha (summer solstice)

lughnahsadh

mabon (fall equinox)

samhain (halloween)

03.05 altars

03.06 spirit guides

about spirit guides

ancestor guides

ascended masters

archetype guides

guardian angels

animal guides

03.07 auras

about auras

chakras

03.08 alphabets + code language

ogham alphabet [not featured here]

03.09 symbols

celtic symbols

03.10 about divination

04.00 nature

04.01 the three elements

nwyfre

gwyar

calas

04.02 talking to nature

04.03 lunar phases

full moon

new moon

waxing crescent

first quarter

waxing gibbous

waning gibbous

last quarter

waning crescent

blue moon

black moon

lunar eclipse “blood moon”

solar eclipse

moon void

04.04 herbs

tips

for saining

medicinal

misc

how to dry + store

04.05 gardening

companion plants

herbs

night-blooming plants

04.06 waters

rain water

storm water

dew water

snow water

moon water

sun water

river water

sea water

spring water

lake water

well water

swamp water

rose water

florida water

salt water

rosemary water

how to make moon water

04.07 aromatherapy

essential oils

custom for calm

05.00 minerals

05.01 crystals (by intention)

ones i own

ones i do not own

05.02 stones

precious stones

hag stones

wishing rocks

heart stones

05.03 jewelry

05.04 amulets

about amulets

charging amulets

05.05 charging

05.06 cleansing + care

05.07 salts

purposes

06.00 spirits

06.01 relationships with the spirits

06.02 when making offerings…

06.03 offering ideas

06.04 spirit guides

how to contact

talking to spirit guides

questions to ask

06.05 the fae

about the fae

offering ideas

(some) types of fae

07.00 altars

07.01 layouts

07.02 what to use/ideas

07.03 for the elements

nwyfre

gwyar

calas

07.04 for sabbats

yule (winter solstice)

imbolc

ostara (spring equinox)

beltane

litha (summer solstice)

lughnahsadh

mabon (fall equinox)

samhain (halloween)

08.00 recipes

08.01 general tips

08.02 infusions

tips

herb-infused oil

rose oil

08.03 foods

lughnasadh herb bread

litha orange honey cake

rosemary-honey shortbread

enchanting flower and herb spread

08.04 drinks

fire cider

08.05 potions

08.06 natural remedies

elderberry syrup

08.07 lotions

rose hip lotion [personal]

08.08 cleaning products

pine needle spray

08.09 misc

incense

four thieves vinegar

09.00 spells + rituals

09.01 affirmations

lunar affirmations

09.02 sigils

passive sigils

active sigils

creating sigils

charging sigils

09.03 sachets + jars

anti-anxiety sachet

09.04 prayers

simple opening prayer [personal]

druids prayer

09.05 blessings

old irish blessing

blessing lavender tea [personal]

garden blessing

seedling blessing

09.06 lunar rituals

new moon

waxing crescent

first quarter

waxing gibbous

full moon

waning gibbous

last quarter

waning crescent

09.07 sabbat rituals

yule (winter solstice)

ostara (spring equinox)

beltane

litha (summer solstice)

lughnahsadh

mabon (fall equinox)

samhain (halloween)

09.08 birthday ritual

09.09 solitary dedication ritual

10.00 divination

10.01 astrology birth charts

sun

moon

ascendant

mercury

venus

mars

jupiter

saturn

uranus

neptune

pluto

10.02 zodiac signs

aquarius

pisces

aries

taurus

gemini

cancer

leo

virgo

libra

scorpio

sagittarius

capricorn

10.03 celtic zodiac

rowan

ash

alder

willow

hawthorn

oak

holly

hazel

vine

ivy

reed

elder

birch

10.04 basic tarot card meanings

major arcana

minor arcana, cups

minor arcana, swords

minor arcana, staffs

minor arcana, discs

10.05 tarot spreads

10.06 cleansing the tarot deck

10.07 omens

10.08 psychic abilities

about psychic powers

what to use them for

developing psychic abilities

11.00 library

11.01 dictionary/encyclopedia (?)

11.02 science and magic(k)

matter and energy

11.03 celts

deities

celtic clothing

celtic days

hand-fasting

11.04 druidry

about druidry

bard

ovate

druid

druid organizations

11.05 paganism + animism

11.06 types of divination

augury

astragalomancy

biorhythms

cartomancy

tarot

cleromancy

rhabdomancy

numerology

osteomancy

sacred geometry

tasseomancy

theriomancy

11.07 types of witches/witchcrafts

green witch

eclectic witch

kitchen witch

solitary witch

cottage witch

grey witch

hedge witch

sea witch

religious witch

moon witch

sun witch

elemental witch

fire witch

earth witch

water witch

air witch

swamp witch

faery witch

cosmic witch

divination witch

crystal witch

secular witch

urban witch

literary witch

forest witch

music witch

chaos witch

shadow witch

techno witch

desert witch

art witch

natural witch

hereditary witch

11.08 types of psychic ability

clairvoyance

clairaudience

clairecognizance

clairsentience

clairalience

clairgustance

psychometry

11.09 tree lore

oak

hazel

hawthorn

11.10 animal lore

salmon

cranes

serpents

bees

ladybugs

butterflies

dragonflies

owls

hawks

crows

spiders

11.11 misc correspondences

shapes

colors

weekdays

elements

12.00 inspiration

12.01 legends and myths

fionn mac cumhaill and the salmon of knowledge

12.02 poetry

celandines

alder dance

the oak tree

augeries of innocence

putting in the seed

hermitage

to the cardinal, attacking his reflection in the window

nature aria

the gray heron

12.03 artwork [not featured here]

12.04 photography [not featured here]

13.00 shadow book [personal]

13.01 affirmations

13.02 recipes

13.03 cleansing

13.04 warding

13.05 enchanting

13.06 verbal spells

13.07 candle spells

13.08 sigil spells

13.09 jar spells + sachets

13.10 crystals

13.11 rituals

13.12 tarot divination

readings

getting to know the field tarot deck [archive]

13.13 dreams

13.14 craft challenges

13.15 holiday celebrations

13.16 miscellaneous

13.17 craft advice

from mickey

14.00 personal beliefs

14.01 personal beliefs (expanded)

14.02 creation of the universe

14.03 death + otherworld

14.04 time

14.05 “spirituality”

14.06 magick

15.00 index of personal contributions

16.00 list of sources of information

#grimoire #2022 grimoire #grimoire 2022 #grimoire organization #witchy #witch #green witch #crystal witch #witchy things #druidcraft #witchcraft #baby witch #idk what im doing #but i guess this works #at least for now #grimoire tips #witchy tips #beginner witch

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