[ swanatello ] ->
Donnie had found that now, he almost didn’t mind sunrise. He didn’t enjoy it, per se. But he wasn’t sure if he hated it anymore, either.
At first, it had been awful.
Every single morning, like clockwork, as soon as sunrise approached, all he could feel was fear seeping through every corner of his body. It pressed in tight until it filled him up and forced him rigid and sharp, searing the backs of his eyes and the curve of his neck. Every morning, the only thing he knew was that something bad was about to happen. He didn’t really remember those moments. All he remembered was feeling, more than anything, that he had to get back to his lake. That he had to get home.
(He did remember coming to, after the transformation was over and the panic eased off. They never talked about it, but everyone would always be looking at him with these faces that told him plenty. Every time they’d be all teary-eyed and shaky. And he’d wake up pinned in the firm press of Raph’s big hands, careful and gentle but still so tight it was almost painful. Sometimes, some of them would be bloodied, and he knew they’d never say it but he also knew it was his fault.)
The worst part was that he already was home. He knew that. He knew he was with his family. He knew that he, Hamato Donatello, was finally back where he belonged.
He hated how hollow the victory felt.
No matter how long he looked, he couldn’t quite find any joy in it. He wasn’t happy or relieved. He wasn’t lonely or mournful, either, wasn’t missing the lake or longing for its company. Mostly, he was just… tired.
He just wanted to sleep.
The longer he was here, the more he adjusted, and the easier the routine was. He didn’t panic like that anymore. The fear never quite went away, rising up red hot and swollen in his throat over the horizon each and every morning with the sun, but at least they didn’t have to hold him down anymore. At least he didn’t hurt them.
Either way, they always stayed with him.
“Leo?”
There were two minutes left. Even if he wasn’t staring down the clock, he’d still know. He’d feel it.
“Yeah?”
And that was why, really. Why he couldn’t quite find it in himself to mind the sunrise.
“It’s almost time.”
Even if it was fear. At least at sunrise, he felt something.
“I know,” Leo soothed, shifting slightly across the bed to sit a bit closer to him, nudging Donnie ever-so-softly with his shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”
But Donnie never worried about that. He knew Leo wouldn’t leave. He knew he’d stay. He knew that nothing bad would happen— that he wouldn’t die. That it wouldn’t even be painful. He knew that at the end of it, whoever was with him with scoop him up and hold him in their lap. He knew they’d pet his feathers and talk to him all quiet and soft, gentle and low until he fell asleep. He knew they’d still be there when he woke up again.
It never stopped the fear. It still couldn’t stop the jump in his heart rate and the hitch to his breath, running off ahead of him as if to scout for trouble. It still never kept all his muscles from coiling up tight, pulled taut across his skeleton, bracing for impact. It had yet to prevent his hands from trembling every morning— so bad that his brothers almost invariably ended up hanging onto him, wrapping his hands up with their own to keep him steady.
“It’s okay,” Leo insisted, squeezing his hands. “You’re fine, Dee. Deep breaths with me, yeah? Nothing is bad is gonna happen. I’m not gonna leave.”
And Donnie knew he wouldn’t. That was never what he was afraid of.
At first, he would panic every morning. His brothers would have to hold him down. He’d black out. He would hurt them.
It wasn’t like that anymore. It had gotten better. The more time passed, the less horrifying it was, and the better he could bear it.
He thought maybe that was what he was actually afraid of.
That maybe, one day, enough time would pass that even when the sun rose in the mornings, he still wouldn’t be able feel anything at all.
[ @candycoloredzebra wrote a thing for me, and i liked it, so i wrote something, too. ]
[ next episode ]
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18+
jj maybank isn’t toxic in a way most people expect. He doesn’t care what you wear, he doesn’t hate your friends or try to control your life in any way like that. But he has a real mean streak, it’s why he chooses to be so sweet and relaxed because he knows how he gets when he’s backed into the corner. He knows how to pick at your insecurities and throw the sacrifices he’s made for you back in your face. (It doesn’t matter if you never asked for them in the first place). It’s just because he loves you so much the thought of you leaving makes his world spin off its axis. Doesn’t matter if the reason he saw you talking to your ex was to get him to leave you alone, he’s still gonna beat him half to death in front of you.
When you get home the look in his eyes will still be wild and he’ll have blood in his mouth when he kisses you. So you push him away and that grin turns cruel. That’s when it starts. That mean streak in him. You’re a real stuck up bitch you know. He’s goading you, doing his best to make it stick. After all I’ve done f’you, you’re just gonna leave? Just like that? I beat the absolute shit outta someone for you. Never mind you never said anything about leaving him. Never mind you never asked him to do that. Such a fucking slut I shoulda kicked your ass to the curb when I had the chance, I’m starting to see why everyone else did.
The one does stick. And as much as you love him, you hate when he gets like this and you just need a second. Because he hates when he gets like this too, it’s like an out of body experience, hearing himself spit whatever venom he can at you.
So you turn to leave, just for a second. He crumbles, eyes watering, voice shaking. He starts to beg. Like clockwork. W-where are you going? Come on sugar, you know I didn’t mean it. Please don’t do this…please. You can’t go, I need you, I don’t know what I’ll do if you go. You let him cage your body against the door, his arms wrapped around your thighs keeping you in place, his face pressed against your stomach soaking your shirt in tears.
He never says he’s sorry. To be honest he doesn’t know how to. So he shows you instead, it ends the same way every time. You’ll make up on the living room floor, raw and wild. He’ll, slobbering kisses pressed against your skin and his strong ringed fingers will press your thighs to your chest. The way he fucks after a night like this is like he’s trying to ruin you for anyone else. The way he moans into your mouth like he’s burrowing into your soul. Fuck sweetheart you can’t leave me. Promise me you won’t leave.
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BSD fashion au
They had cooped themselves up in Chuuya's living room, trading ideas, looking at magazines Mori had given them, looking for different styles they could try, bickering over dresses, suits, or whatever else caught the other's attention just for the sake of annoying each other.
Time stretched on until morning, the living room having been turned into a battle field with papers, pens, and magazines scattered everywhere.
They seemed to have calmed down halfway through, sitting together in front of the couch.
Doodling rather than actually trying to get a design down on paper while drinking their coffee
(That dazai made Chuuya get, complaining about how bad a host he was being.)
Arguing without any actual heat behind their words
Just in their own little world, behaving like the teenagers they were.
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Thinking of...
A Secret Relationship with Lucifer!
Lucifer and you didn't mean for it to be a secret! Honest! It just is easier this way sometimes
Lucifer and you just kinda fell in love slowly till one day you two just kissed, and things kinda happened
So now you love each other in private, which is what would happen anyways
Lucifer, who invites you into his office after you have done something to warrant "getting in trouble" for a lecture, buts it's really to hang out
Lucifer, who you help diligently with the Sisyphean task that is his paperwork in hopes that he can get a day off, or at least go to bed on time
Lucifer, who you unwillingly say goodnight to because if you stayed the night in there his brothers would start to notice
Lucifer, who loves to kiss you quickly when no one is looking and walks away like nothing happened and leaves you breathless
Lucifer, who allows you to take pictures of him but if they get leaked he will not be happy. Those pictures better be underneath lock and key
Lucifer, who slowly wishes he could hold your waist and keep you close to his side when he watches a demon flirt with you in the halls
Lucifer, who wonders if the convenience of keeping this secret outweighs the want of showing you off
Lucifer, who then thinks about how willingly you allowed your relationship be kept locked away in his office, shunned in the shadows, because it makes him happy
Lucifer, whose noticed how you wish to kiss him, hold his hand, slot your body next to his sometimes, but you restrain yourself
Lucifer, who finally tells you that he's tired of not being able to show you off like you deserve. Your not a dirty secret, your his lover, and he takes pride in you as much as himself
Lucifer, who at the next big public event Diavolo insisted on having, decided to have the two of you match
Lucifer, who dances the first dance with you, despite all of his brothers protests
Lucifer, who at the end, pulls you into a dip and kisses you, infront of everyone, because they need to know your his, and he is yours
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You know, even ignoring the whole "vampirism can be cured" thing, if we want a spell or enchanted item that lets vampires walk in the sun and dodge other weaknesses and drawbacks I'm pretty sure Gale - prodigy who caught the eye of the Mother of Magic as a child, had to be told he can't teach every specialisation, archwizard - can just... make one? Even if he's not recovered enough from having his magic stripped to cast a spell himself, he knows the theory well enough to lay the foundations for somebody else to cast.
Like, magic is basically a science, all spells were researched and created by a wizard at some point. Magic that protects vampires from the sun already exists in BG canon. This is perfectly achievable.
I think Gale would have a great time puzzling it over and infodumping about it.
The price is that Astarion has to get a migraine forcing his dead braincells to pay attention.
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Beryl Shores HCs - Sandborn Moores
// why do i call these headcanons when it’s my canon? hmm
// anyways a little more on the sirens and their relationships with the actual town itself!
- Moondrop and Sunrise know the towns residents by heart. Their names, their families, their personalities, etc. Anyone deemed too “nasty” make for easy pickings and have plucked the island population to a very small few they deem tolerable, mostly attacking sailors and travelers these days
- they gossip like they don’t already know what’s happening as it happens and also haven’t already predicted it 3 days before it happens
- The majority of the townsfolk have kind of just accepted “yea there’s something in the water,” they don’t know what but they don’t really care atp . just don’t investigate anything weird, don’t litter, and it’s fine
- Some of the residents even talk to the sea, telling stories, venting and asking for advice. They’ll never get a response, but Sunrise enjoys it and Moondrop secretly treasures it . Who knows, maybe the person that’s been bothering you may suddenly “disappear”?
- Moon likes to fuck with people with voice mimicry, even when not intending to kill. You’re just walking around and randomly hear your mom scream .
- Sun and Moon both enjoy sometimes swimming along secretly with people taking walks and under them in the sea
- fishing trips often go well on full moons (coughs at Moons moodswings) and new moons almost always are disastrous, so the fishers of the island have formed little routines, routes and traditions surrounding the tide and moon phase
- surfers are literally the funniest things in the world to them . look at what those humans have to do to mimic a fraction of our power . yank the board right out from under their feet for the audacity /j
- It took them both way too long to comprehend cooking. why are you putting that meat on a fire what the fuck are you DOING ITS BURNING and then they managed to snag a cooked scrap and were just like “oh”
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At first my friend told me there was A LOT of Destiel fics out there when she told me Cas and Dean never kissed in the show. I loved reading about them. I tried wattpad and fanfiction.com first, then I discovered AO3. I realized I preferred how AO3 worked. But then I was frustrated because it's hard to find something you want to read.
So at some point, I started writing alone in my room on my computer what I wanted to read. I thought I knew I'll never post it because I wasn't a writer, so why would I post that? No one would want to read it, so I wrote for myself for a little while, few months I'd say.
But then I thought 'meh it's written maybe I could share it and see how it goes'. So I created an AO3 account (I created my Tumblr blog before that). Then I posted my first fic, then another one and more. Now I've reached 28 and it's not over. I have more drafts on my computer, a loooong list of other ideas.
But I kept telling myself that I won't take part to fandom events because I like writing on my own with no schedules and no pressure. And then I took part to the 5k for 5 May event. My fic is now in the Masterlist.
So I guess never say never. I applies this saying a lot in my life lately, especially with Destiel and how it changed me.
I think I'll never wrote AU fics, but who knows? Even I don't.
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