real talk how tf do ppl embroider things like cuffs on clothing, it's not a big enough area to hold in a hoop, are they really just That Good to do it freehand without the fabric bunching like

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

Jason Todd in Love…

As Red Hood, he’s talkative, sarcastic, aggressive, and cocky. When he’s with you, he’s tender and gentle. He’s eerily quiet and strangely calm. Every whim is followed without protest, and he hangs on every word.

Jason’s always looking for ways to touch you and will constantly pull you into his lap where he’ll give you soft kisses on your shoulder and neck. He just likes to watch you exist: he watches quietly when you’re getting ready, attempting to cook, etc. He loves how you’ll trail your nails up his arm and across the top of his back as you pass him on the sofa.

He loves you because you ground him: You’re real, you’re here and you’ve never left. His world slows down with you and, when he’s getting in his head and slipping away, you snap him out of it. You stand up to him. You talk your shit and force him back to you. “Don’t do that. You’re trying to talk yourself out of this.” You grab his face, forcing him to look at you. “You want me, yes or no?”

“Yes.” He’ll answer softly. “Always.”

“Then you have me.” You push him away from you. “Don’t try and find a way to ruin it. I will kick your ass. Got me?” You stare at him, arms folded and waiting for an answer.

He’ll give a smile before answering. “Yeah, I got you.” He looks at you honey eyed and apologetic.

“Good.” You move into his arms and place a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Now, go sit in the kitchen. I made us breakfast.”

yes asexuals can fuck but we need to not forget that allos can possibly not fuck ? entirely too many times I hear people saying "lol you're probably ace" to people that are literally just celibate . like guys . please . stop acting like the asexual = no sex i thought we were far past that guys

theres so many reasons to be celibate from religious to health (both physical and mental) and all the way to just not wanting to and it can very much have nothing to do with attraction

(not to mention it feels weird to see as a celibate aroallo but that's a separate topic)

mmmkay

the real joke here is that i'm pretty sure fake pep is like totally average person height, it's just that the rest of this cast are fuckin pipsqueaks

hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette]<-u are here [peppino] [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]

morrigan mansplaining elvhen culture while playing as lavellan hits so close to home (ily morrigan but this is not it 😭)

mfw my kids are foretold to be stronger than the gods we worship

dream visit (nostalgia) - a 2nd anniversary katfl comic

i’m catching up on tsv, i think something that eskew prod does extremely well is using horror absurdism to capture the absurd horror of capitalism. it’s clear in eskew too, but i think it’s especially fantastic in the silt verses. the casualness with which sacrifice is discussed. how red lobster has a god that has and continues to take human sacrifice, and so do cereal companies, cops, and the grueling start up that has a “fun room”. it captures EXTREMELY well how it feels to live under capitalism, that you’re constantly bombarded with horrible things, discussed cheerily in a nice tone. the way it’s simultaneously numbing, hysterical, and horrifying. i think i was especially fond of how in ep 39, protest against sacrifice was taken as radical, a propostorus, idealistic thing that’s just so SILLY it’s not even worth considering, something that feels very real to revolutionary organizing/protest irl. i also liked how despite the face, when everything gets down to it, when everything is about profit, all people come down to are bodies. all capitalism is a gaping maw, and it eats the poor and marginalized first, but doesn’t STOP eating just there. the very literalized version of this, where the profit wheel (and all that includes— war mongering, the prison industrial complex, wage labor, etc) is given a very real literal set of teeth, but the body count is the same. so the electric company has a god, and so it takes humans sacrifice. do real electric companies not have a very real human cost? overworked and underpaid labors looking to make rent, or well off comfortable employees no less likely to get the axe under profit margins, or the blood shed when colonizing in the first place, in clearing the space for the electric company to move in. is that not also a very real human sacrifice? the commercial aimed at elderly people talking about “back in my day, we would just talk about all this human sacrifice and find a compromise :)” is so bleakly hysterical, but is that not very accurate? that you can put a good face on it, but in the end what it comes down to is that you’re being sold the chance to be human fodder? that there is no glory or honor on a battlefield or in working yourself to death, just mud and shit and bodies to throw at problems. idk! i’m rambling but it’s a deeply engaging podcast.

a girl i went to high school with is on holiday to the US at the moment, and she recently posted a photo of her in front of the White House, smiling. I can't stop thinking about it, because my first thought seeing it was "what is there to smile about?"

Ok! Had to take a bit of a break for personal reasons (thank you guys sm for the support and patience!) BUT, I should be back, barring any sort of crazy irl shenanigans (knock on wood). As an offering, have my freehand studies of Apollo statues, as I tried to find features I could steal and integrate into my style.

First pass, I accidentally deleted the statue I was using as reference and also ewww gross I hate this one

second pass, ok alright, we're getting somewhere, I'm feeling it.

Third pass. I am no longer feeling it. Wtf happened. Alien looking ass.

Fourth pass. We are back on the saddle. However I am veering sharply towards realism and it is scaring me. This means it's time to ditch the references and stylize, leading to...

The fifth and final pass! I tried mixing the features I picked up from the statues with the style I already had, and it kind of worked? Idk how I feel about it. I feel more confident in my color placements tho so that's cool.

in another universe TLT is a coming of age fantasy YA tragedy about Silas having to leave home with his nephew/guardian at the age of 16 to seek glory for his house and then not only LOSING that guardian in a terrible mistake, but also losing faith in his culture/religion as a whole as he rejects everything he has been taught to stand for and want. And as he stands up for himself in his final moments and realizes his terrible miscalculation he is KILLED by the shambling, posessed body of his guardian only for his soul to be then swept away and thrust into a confusing dreamscape where nothing is real and once again he must reject his world in order to chase after something new. the universe does not forgive but maybe he can force its hand

"You think you're tough shit, huh?"

"Tougher than you! Hahaha!"

"You lack DISCIPLINE,"

"CONTROL,"

"and worse..."

"YOU'RE SLOPPY!"