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sandumilfshou · 5 months

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still kind of insane to me that people talk shit about jiang cheng without fully understanding what he has been through so lets just understand what his mental state is like BEFORE canon begins:

born via a dysfunctional marriage to be the sect heir

father doesnt care for him, mother expects too much from him/everything he does is not enough

has his three dogs just kicked out randomly with no notice because of some kid he's never heard of by the father who never gave him love and/or attention

said father then favours this kid more than him, to the point that the entire world basically thinks that this kid is biologically your father's son as well, which causes even more family dysfunction

despite this still learns to love this kid as his unofficial brother

works his absolute hardest but is always second-best because his new shixiong is naturally talented

nobody appreciates the hard work he puts in at being second place despite the fact wwx literally doesnt work hard for it

masks his emotions with anger as a coping mechanism to minimise the amount of hurt he feels

ok great so now lets actually take all of the above and apply this mental wellbeing to canon events FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE (keep in mind this is literally what jc is seeing/experiencing because he DOESNT KNOW what the reader knows):

brother is off being the protagonist and getting in trouble and gets their sisters marriage ruined

comes home from a year away and then almost immediately has to go and be a hostage where brother continues his protagonist behaviour

gets trapped and nearly dies in a cave with a 400-year-old monster, is in charge of finding a way out and making sure everyone else escapes

brother and a guy who maybe hates him get stuck behind in the cave so now jiang cheng has to boost it home ON FOOT, without food, to get manpower to rescue them, which takes a minimum of a few days likely without any food or sleep

no appreciation or thanks for doing that since brother was more heroic and killed the 400-year-old monster

gets scolded by his father for being annoyed by this

parents immediately get into another fight about father loving wwx more than jc

because of the above shenanigans their sect is targeted next

tries to defend brother against being whipped to death and/or having his hand cut off by mother

witnesses his entire sect being burned and murdered

loses both his parents

decides to sacrifice himself to save his brother's life, instead of dying he is tortured and has his golden core melted

on top of his inferiority issues, the ONE THING he was expected to do was be the sect leader for the yunmeng jiang. the sect that no longer exists. he is now a sect leader with no sect and no golden core. no shit he wants to mcfuckin die

miraculously gets a new golden core but loses his brother

immediately plunged into a war and he's only like 17

spends 3 months trying to find his brother only for his brother to show up doing the Forbidden Magic and necromancy which is Super Disrespectful in their culture like holy shit what are you doing

brother refuses to use his sword in favour of the Forbidden Magics and kind of keeps undermining jc's orders as sect leader which makes jc look weak in front of all the other sect leaders when he's actively trying to rebuild their sect and be respected as a leader

fights a war for [handwaves] an amount of time, certainly a few years minimum, while watching his brother descend further into Unhealthy Behaviour but brother refuses to do anything or talk about it

ends up lowkey being a war hero

the other three great sects (of which there are now only four) swear brotherhood, leaving out ONLY ymj/jiang cheng, which, what the Fuck dude

is now a teenager who has lost his parents who now has to rebuild his sect from scratch with fuck all money, supplies, and support

brother, who promised to always be at his side helping, is not helping, and in fact is actively just getting drunk and being a nuisance and STILL REFUSING TO SAY WHY

entire cultivation world starts to turn on his brother who is now looking like a loose cannon bc he has Forbidden Magics that are Terrifyingly Powerful and also it has been proven that he does not give a fuck about jc's opinion since he's constantly doing whatever the fuck he wants

literally out of nowhere said brother decides to piss off everyone, start fights, and then KILL JIN GUARDS at a camp and MAKE OFF with like fifty people who are part of the family that he just fought a war against and were responsible for slaughtering his family/sect

go to the terrifying haunted mountain where wwx and the wen remnants are and sees that he's essentially starting a new family with a kid and crops, doesn't seem to care that jiang cheng is still trying to keep the ymj afloat and look like they have any strength

brother is still doing Forbidden Magic and refuses to explain why, and now says he'll secede from the ymj so his bad reputation doesn't reflect on jc like he HASNT BEEN DOING THAT THE WHOLE TIME

so now shixiong wants to just abandon jc completely after jc has lost his parents, had to rebuild everything from scratch, while ignoring the promise he's made their whole life? ok fuck you

jc also can't defend him in public because that would turn the ymj into a target and please keep in mind he is a teenager who was expected to do this ONE THING by his parents and he has poured his heart and soul and blood and tears into rebuilding the ymj and they are So Vulnerable Right Now

uhhh what the fuck suddenly wwx kills their sister's husband ?? bro what the FUCK?

everyone rallies to go and attack wwx for this and again jc literally cant do anything about it and refusing to go will just make everyone assume he's on wwx's side and their sect can't afford to be attacked rn

bro what the fuck now THEIR SISTER IS DEAD?????

oh even better now said brother is DEAD

jiang cheng literally has NO ONE LEFT. no friends. no family. no parents, no siblings, everyone he knew growing up is dead. its literally just him and his infant nephew, who by the way, is living with the sect who are the most powerful and also most likely to be super fucking shady so jc has to tread very carefully

so jc spends over a decade raising his nephew ALONE while trying to make ymj powerful and also hunting/killing demonic cultivators that now p much only exist bc his brother invented/popularised the technique

oh yeah and also this whole time the guy who maybe hated his brother is now like EVEN colder and more antagonistic towards jc like it was HIS FAULT that wwx is dead? get fucked lan wangji you didnt even like the guy (or if this is cql/untamed canon: you literally did nothing either so where do you get off on acting like you're better than jc)

over a decade passes and suddenly his dead brother is alive again and causing more problems and acting like the things he did were not major contributors towards jc's entire family and sect dying

More Political Drama Happens and jc has to manage it

suddenly its revealed that the guy he's been co-raising his nephew with is the major villain who caused the entire world to turn on wwx in the first place oh and also it turns out that the fucking miraculous core jc has IS HIS BROTHER'S, WHO NEVER SAID ANYTHING, AND THIS IS THE REASON HE STARTED THE FORBIDDEN MAGICS AND STOPPED HELPING AROUND THE SECT, but he didnt even BOTHER to tell jiang cheng about it

by the way did i mention this was done via an entirely unconsented experimental surgery

and now the brother of the doctor who did the unconsented experimental surgery is ?? mad at jiang cheng about it ???? like he was supposed to KNOW ABOUT THIS when wwx was KEEPING IT FROM HIM ON PURPOSE???

and now theyre all nearly dying in this dumbass temple - and the ONE family member jc still has is literally being threatened with a garotte

oh cool now jc's brother is saying forget the past let's just leave it all behind !!! as though THAT ISNT JC'S ENTIRE LIFE AND TRAUMA and the ONE THING he EVER wanted was for him, wwx, and jyl to be alive and happy, and now wwx is saying just forget it! like FUCK YOU???? does jc truly mean NOTHING???????

oh and now his brother is off gallivanting with the guy who hated him - who it turns out doesn't hate him - and now they're getting married

and jiang cheng is meant to just. pretend all of this never happened and live his life normally. while wwx is out there. being happy and married.

like... if you can read all of this and still treat jc like he's the bad guy, i'm sorry, but you have literally zero empathy. dude had it probably more rough than any of the other main ensemble cast, and i am including jgy in that, because jgy Made His Choices. jc literally just had to let things happen around him helplessly

#did i make this bc ive had a bunch of jc antis in my mentions? yes #jiang cheng is beautiful and flawed and i love him so fucking much #he is my lil meow meow my gorgeous wife and hes so so so strong #i wouldnt have even gotten through half this shit before i'd kms lmao #jiang cheng #mdzs #cql #the untamed #jiang cheng antis do not interact #seriously you will not convince me otherwise and i will just block you. do not waste your time on me #this includes you mfs who were in my reblogs recently. you know who you are.#jiang cheng defense squad #jiang wanyin #sandu shengshou #mdzs meta #cql meta #also i call wwx his brother in this bc lbr that is the role he played even if he was always shixiong instead of gege #but also i am a chengxian/xiancheng shipper #so looking at this through shipper goggles is somehow MORE painful

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yinyangofnevermore · 1 year

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So you’re considering watching RWBY

Or you’re trying to convince someone else to watch it

(I made another similar post about this a while back)

But you/they aren’t sure. Something is holding you/them back. Like:

“But the animation n stuff is SO BAD!” - Sure. In the beginning it’s not great (though many of us now look back on those early volumes with fondness.) But you have to understand, RWBY started as a passion project at a small company with a budget of like $20 (yes I’m exaggerating but STILL.) They simply didn’t have the funds for good animation. But, after volume 3 came out, the show became a literal international hit and so the budget increased. And, subsequently, so did the animation quality. You can see that progression easily enough here. The quality goes from this:

To this:

“It looks stupid and childish!” - Yeah, in the beginning it’s meant to seem silly. And it still has its cartoonishly silly moments later on too. But those silly moments are meant to soften the blow of the PAIN. Because, while RWBY starts off as a silly, “good always triumphs over evil” slice of life magic academy type show it does not STAY that. There is PAIN. LOTS OF IT! If you keep watching, you’ll find out within like 6 hrs worth of watching that it’s not just some silly slice of life show. There is a complete 180 along the way when you find out what RWBY is truly about. The show actually delves into some pretty heavy stuff. PTSD, abuse, neglect, abandonment issues, alcoholism, loss, the inability to move on from loss for some, and more. For more on this, check out this post.

“I saw some stuff on Twitter/Tumblr/Youtube about how bad it is.” - That’s because there are ppl out there who want the show to be something it’s not. Or they got upset when things didn’t happen the way they wanted. Like Blacksun shippers or Adam and Ironwood Stans. Or they just want to shit on something. But EVERY show has its haters. Every piece of media has its haters. And they like to be loud edgelords about it. Sometimes just to be controversial and pick a fight. But that doesn’t mean shit. There are ppl out there who absolutely hate your favorite pieces of media, whether you’re aware of it or not. And that doesn’t stop you from liking it, does it? Don’t let a few haters prevent you from potentially finding your new favorite thing. Because there are a LOT of ppl out there who absolutely LOVE this show.

“I tried watching the first few episodes and I just... Couldn’t.” - Dude, I get it. Trust me. I did the same exact thing when I started watching. I watched the first couple of episodes and literally turned it off. But then I saw a few ppl posting about it here on Tumblr a while later and gave it a second shot on a whim. And BOY did it not disappoint when I got far enough in (and yes, that took a minute.) Mind you, this was back when Volume 3 was originally airing, so the drastic improvements in animation hadn’t happened yet. But I stuck with it anyways. And now look at me. But the show does take a while to really ramp up, so to speak. The beat doesn’t DROP until a bit later on in volume 3.

But, if you enjoy character growth and analysis, then you will most likely enjoy this show. The number of analyses on Tumblr and prolly Twitter as well are MANY. The main 4 characters are badass ladies learning how to fight and deal with life. Every character in the show is based on either a fairy tale, mythology, history, pop culture, etc. (sometimes they have multiple allusions to different degrees) and teasing out those details on top of everything else is quite fun if you enjoy searching for Easter eggs, significant imagery, foreshadowing, parallels, and so on. Interesting villains too. Not just the standard “Evil Witch because she’s evil with henchmen” thing. But fleshed out villains that have their Reasons™️. Like “Cinderella took so much abuse as a kid/teenager that she fucking snapped” type reasons. There is SO MUCH you can delve into with this show if you want to. Details as small as a whale statue in Gepetto’s office, or Belle reading a book with a candelabrum that looks like Lumiere, or characters wearing the colors of the person they love, or characters having eyes the color of their love’s aura (an extension of their soul.) SO MANY PLACES TO FIND THESE DETAILS. Including the lyrics to the music.

Which leads me to the music in this show is freaking AWESOME. And if you can’t appreciate that Casey Lee Williams has been singing in these soundtracks since she was like 13 or 14 (and listening to how she’s grown as a musician throughout it all to the point where she is now one of the music leads for the show) then I don’t know what to tell you. The music is all produced in house. And the lyrics reflect that. Each song is from the perspective of a RWBY character (or like team RWBY in general, depending on the song) and the lyrics give insights either about the characters or about stuff in the show (lore, foreshadowing, etc.) And they’re as fun to analyze as they are to jam out to.

The writing is FANTASTIC. Is it perfect? No. Of course not. They made mistakes along the way. Prolly will make some more. But every piece of media does to some extent. People aren’t perfect and so neither are their creations. But those imperfections don’t outweigh how amazing the story they’ve woven is. The writers of RWBY constantly subvert expectations in a BRILLIANT way. Not in a “wtf?? Where did that come from?” sort of way. But in a “OMG! Now that I go back and watch this again it makes SO MUCH SENSE” sort of way. And things that happen in early volumes actually COME BACK to affect things later. The show doesn’t just MOVE ON. The writers have been playing the long game this whole time. And rewatches will almost always show new details and foreshadowing you might have missed before.

Also, it GAY. And it’s THE major romance of the show. Not just a side story. And the voice actors are the Captains of the Ship! And it’s a beautifully written slow burn romance (amongst other romances also in the show) with yearning and pining for DAYS. I believe it was Monty who said, “Good romance is earned.” And boy are they earning it!

So, in short, FUCKING WATCH RWBY.

DAMMIT.

If you do decide to watch, Volumes 1-8 are all on RoosterTeeth.com for free or everything is on Crunchyroll. And I definitely suggest starting with the 4 trailers, in order: Red, White, Black, then Yellow.

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giac222 · 4 months

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I think one of the most annoying takes I see about TCOAAL is when someone says Ashley is solely the problem and that Andrew is completely innocent…💀 like did we play the same game?? Ashley and Andrew are the same, they always have been. Andrew just hides it better, but we see his mask slip in Ch. 2.

In a comment section on YouTube I literally saw someone say “Andrew needs to realize that Ashley is a bitch and leave.”… I rolled my eyes 🤦🏻‍♀️ lmao, like alright are we just going to completely ignore everything Andrew did? I’m convinced that person didn’t actually play the game.

I’m going to die on the hill that Ashley and Andrew weren’t born evil. The two of them are a product of their environment, especially Ashley. We see that her parents never cared about her and that her “friends” weren’t actually her friends. I’m sure we’ll see more of this in Ch. 3, I already know it’s going to make me sad ughhh. Ashley’s been treated like shit by everyone around her it seems except for Andrew. Andrew has been the only consistent presence in her life, the only one who’s ever been there for her. The flashback from her birthday was so fkn sad, but Andrew tried his best to make it special for her 😭. When she called him her favorite lemon muffin 🥺 yeah, she loves him downnn.

Ashley also has major self esteem issues which absolutely stem from her childhood. Again, I think we’ll see more of this in Ch. 3. She also has a ton of internalized misogyny, she’s had it since she was a kid. I’m like girl.. why are you like 10 calling other girls hussies? 😂 Seriously though, I believe she picked this behavior up from her mother. I mean where else would she learn those words and behaviors from? It’s very easy for kids to pick up on things. I really need the lore on Mrs.Graves because I don’t think she was born evil either. 🤔 The fact that she was a teen mom of 2 before the age of 18 is crazy. That also means her and Mr.Graves have been together for quite some time.

We know Mrs.Graves overall doesn’t care about either of her children, but it’s fair to say that Andrew was treated somewhat better than Ashley. I bring this up because I’ve heard stories about how some moms are easy on their sons while being very hard on their daughters. Also, I’ve seen someone else bring this up before, but when Andrew declines the olive branch and defends Ashley, Mrs.Graves doesn’t understand why and then she accuses him of sleeping with her. Why did her mind automatically go there? As if he couldn’t love Ashley for any reason other than sex. I think the reason Mrs.Graves said that is because of her own internalized misogyny and is projecting. Basically saying: If a man cares about you and does things for you, it’s obviously because you’re sleeping with him, not because he actually wants to do those things out of love. I could be wrong though, that’s just something I picked up on. So yes, I do believe Ashley got her internalized misogyny from her mother. I think generational trauma is definitely at play here, which is honestly just sad more than anything.

Andrew is everything to Ashley, he really is the center of her world 😭, and he’s the only person who’s shown her any type of love. We know she’s terrified of losing him and will do anything to keep him around. Considering no one else has stuck around in her life, it makes sense that she has serious abandonment issues 😞. Ashley can be abusive and manipulative, but I don’t think she necessarily wants to do that, she does it because she thinks that’s the only way she can keep him in her life… what she doesn’t understand though is that Andrew loves her just as much as she loves him, he would stick by her without any of that, we know this, even though he doesn’t show it as much. In ch. 3, I’m sure we’ll finally see him open up more and give her the affection and reassurance she needs. We see a glimpse of this in the questionable burial route when they’re on the bridge. In my opinion, I don’t see how people can call the questionable route the “bad” ending when both of them look the happiest, especially Andrew. I don’t think I’ve seen Andrew that happy at any other point in the game. 💀 he was fr in his element there.

Some people may not want to admit this, but Ashley is a victim as well. That’s why it’s frustrating to see people with the take that Ashley is purely evil and that Andrew is an angel who was manipulated to do everything he’s done. They’re both flawed individuals, but their upbringing was awful and the world around them is awful too. They live in a dystopian society. How they ended up was inevitable, and I’m not excusing their behavior, but they were failed by their parents and had 0 parental guidance. I mean my god, to make things even worse, their own parents sold them to organ harvesters and they were left to starve locked up in an apartment for months with no one else but each other. If they didn’t do what they did, they would have died. 🤷🏻‍♀️ They originally didn’t plan to sacrifice their parents either, they wanted to rob them and leave, but their mother came home and it screwed up their plans. Their mother absolutely would have snitched on them if they didn’t take action. We also know now that people are looking for them, hence the hitman. They literally have no choice but to be on the run. Their situation and actions aren’t black and white.

This turned into a very long post, sorry if it’s messy haha. I just wanted to get my thoughts out there because some of the takes I’ve seen on this game are horrendous. 💀 Thanks for reading if you did. ❤️

#tcoaal #the coffin of andy and leyley #nemlei #kit9 #ashley graves #andrew graves #andrew x ashley #andy graves #leyley graves #andy x leyley #gravecest #coffincest #mini essay #didn’t expect this to be so long oops

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clearthelenswithmeem · 3 days

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Aang was not a bad father, he was a flawed one!

It genuinely drives me a little crazy when people accuse Aang of being a bad father. Or when they say that LOK ruined his character. Neither of those things are true.

First of all, Aang was 12 at the end of ATLA. He wasn’t even old enough to fully understand the trauma he had been through. His entire nation was wiped out and he spent the rest of his life protecting the other nations. Which often called on him to compromise his values. Absolutely nobody in ATLA had any regard for the fact that Aang was the last person left to continue on air nomads tradition. The moment he compromised his values is the moment his culture dies.

And in air nomad culture, you don’t have traditional parents. You’re raised in a community. I don’t know if Aang even knew who his parents were. I don’t know if he even cared. That alone means that he has no idea how to be a parent. So no, LOK didn’t ruin Aang’s characterisation. It simply took it further than it had been when HE WAS 12! And let’s not forget that the two shows are written by the same people. They know what they’re doing.

And now, onto why Aang wasn’t a bad father. His kids loved him. Yes, he definitely had some favouritism issues. But remember, that man was the last vestige of the air nation. Once he was gone, his son would be the last airbender left. And if he left this world without teaching Tenzin absolutely everything about air nation culture, not only would the next avatar be screwed over by not learning an entire bending style but air nation culture would be at even more risk of disappearing. So yes, was it fair that Aang paid more attention to Tenzin? No! But nothing about his life has ever been fair.

And as for his kids, they LOVED him! Bumi did have some insecurity about whether or not his father was proud of him. But Kya knew. I think they both knew they were loved. And the kids may have had issues with each other but they stuck together.

Now I’m not saying Aang was perfect or even a good parent. But there’s a world of difference between a bad parent and a flawed one. And Aang sits squarely in the flawed category. And I genuinely think that when he was around all of his kids, he treated them all well. Otherwise I don’t think Kya and Bumi would’ve been so hung up on the fact that Tenzin had more time with their father.

At the end of the day, Aang’s real problem was that he didn’t have enough time or support. He was supposed to be there for everyone else, all the time. And that didn’t stop when he defeated the firelord. And outside of Katara, his friends had their own things. He genuinely didn’t know how to be a parent without a community.

And as for Katara, she may have mothered everyone in the group but she lost her mother at a very young age. And she didn’t even really have a father growing up. And by the time her dad came back, I doubt he had much opportunity to parent her. So no, I’m not surprised that two incredibly traumatised people were flawed parents.

But whatever their flaws were, they set their kids up for success. Kya, Bumi and Tenzin stuck together when it mattered. And Tenzin got to be a better father than he had. I don’t think any of his kids ever has to worry about him loving them or even being proud of them.

#atla #lok #legend of korra #avatar the last airbender #Aang #Tenzin #bumi #kya #katara

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ocdeeznut · 2 months

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In rewatching s8 i have some thoughts. Why it didn’t work as an ending, and what i think could have been changed.

WARNING THIS POST IS LONG AS FUCK, so strap in if you’re interested.

- The feel of the writing is distinctly off. Not bad, but it doesn’t feel like you’re watching Voltron anymore. It feels grittier and more like a high stakes adult animation than the other seasons. Which, again, isn’t necessarily bad, but the shift is too quick and it could have been executed better if they spent more time digging into the individual characters and their growth during s6/7.

- The issue of ‘there’s always a bigger enemy’ starts to make the plot feel stale. You get bored of a bigger robot, higher stakes, more to lose. They start killing people and planets for a cheap audience reaction when we weren’t all that invested in the first place. It felt like a split second decision by the writers to destroy Olkarion. Something like that needs to be pencilled in from the beginning. There were too many attacks on Olkarion, and as a consequence we got too used to seeing it’s people in peril. There should’ve been a distinct shift where we, as the audience, realised Voltron wasn’t going to be there to save them this time. Whether that’s a writing, animation or atmospheric issue i’m unsure. Maybe it’s just a me thing.

- The Atlas should never have been able to transform. That for me was the biggest investment turn off. Why do we need Voltron anymore if there’s a bigger, stronger robot on their side? If they were going to replace the castle, they should have made it clear and stuck with the intention. That’s not a support ship anymore, that’s something else entirely. I’d gladly watch a show JUST about the Atlas, with Shiro at the helm, but it’s not Voltron.

- Too many things happen at once, and it’s massively convoluted. 13 episodes is not enough time to: introduce a romance, have me actually care about that romance, kill off a main character, form a new version of voltron, redeem three main antagonists, AND cutely tie up all the glaring plot holes of the show. S8 needed to be two seasons at least. If things were spread out and more passion was pumped into the writing, it could’ve worked.

- Allura’s character was ruined. She became a nagging, reckless, martyred love interest. I love her dearly, i have from S1, but they did her SO dirty. Lance, too. They both deserved better.

- I think, personally, that Sendak should’ve been the final villain. Not Honerva. Her arc was rushed and her CORE motivation made little sense. They used the flimsy excuse of her corruption to redeem her love for Lotor, and his name was literally raked through hell and back for a very mediocre payoff. If that was the plan from the start, it needed to be hinted at more.

- There was too much, as i call it, flip-flopping. The alteans are alive, now they’re evil, now they’re not. We can’t get into Oriande, but now we can! Personally, i need explanations, and strict universal rules. If those rules are to be broken for whatever reason - it has to be a show stopping exception and a main event. Everything is excused and explained away when it doesn’t make any sense.

- Now, i actually really likes the subtle art style and animation adjustments in the season, visually it was spectacular so i have no critiques there. If only the plot could have done its outer shell some justice.

AND GET LANCE OFF THAT DAMN FARM.

#odesrambles #voltron #keith kogane #vld #voltron legendary defender #lance mcclain #takashi shirogane #hunk garrett #pidge holt #princess allura #coran #voltron season 8 #Odesrevisions #This is all a ramble and pure speculation on my part #don’t take too seriously pls and thanks #i so badly wanted to see this show succeed but alas it shot itself in the foot at the end

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morganski-19 · 2 months

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I Don't Know Which Way's Home

Chapter 15: Visitors

ao3 link, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14

cw: minor descriptions of violence/physicall assault

Present Day, March 1987

“When are you going to move in,” Sarah asks over the phone.

“Next week, I think. I should get the keys in a few days and then we’ll take some time to get some basic furniture. Then we should be all good.”

Steve was excited for the move. Excited to get out of this house to something he owns. Something he can make his own. A place where he can walk through the door and see himself on the walls. In the furniture. Where it feels like home.

Not just a large house where most of the lights are never on. Suffocating anyone who lives in it.

It’ll be an adjustment. But he’s willing to do it. Ready to do it. He’s been stuck in the same loop for so long, he ready to break it.

“Any word from your parents?”

Steve still feels bad about that. If things went the way he wanted them to, Julie would never have to endure his parents. Over the phone or in person. Knowing her, she’d probably want to sit behind him in court. She’d see them there. But wouldn’t be dealing with him. That’s his job, not hers. Not anyone’s.

He’s been dealing with his parents for his entire life. He’s used to it. Knows how to shut up and say the right things just so the issue is dropped. Most of the time. Sometimes he fights back. Stands up for himself. Just to get knocked back down to the lowest peg possible. But he tries.

Now, it’s a totally different ballgame. They can’t knock him down again, not really. He’s stronger than he was back then. Older. More mature. Has a sense of his own self worth and how it doesn’t revolve around their opinions. They never cared enough to stay, why should he care about their words.

“Uh yeah. They got the papers, last I heard from the courthouse is that they got the response letter. It wasn’t pretty.”

“Well, that was to be expected. Anything else?”

Steve hesitates. “Yeah, um. I sort of got kicked out.”

“What?”

“Yeah, my dad said he wanted me gone. That if I thought I was going to get anything from them anymore I was wrong and can’t keep living here rent free. But they haven’t, like, sent a cop or anything to make sure I’m gone. So, it’s fine. I’m handling it.”

“That’s only because you have an in with the Chief, Steve,” Sarah says sternly. He can picture the frustration on her face. “When did they tell you this?”

“Two weeks ago.”

Sarah swears under her breath. “You’re cutting it close here, Steve.”

“I know,” he says before she can continue. “I know I am. But we’re so close to getting out. Most of our stuff is out of the house except for essentials, and I have people on standby incase they come home. I’m not going into this blind. I know how they are.”

“The minute they show up, the minute that this backup plan gets put into place, you call me immediately.”

Steve knows that Sarah’s just planning for the worst possible outcome. That it’s better to plan for things that might never happen than to scramble for a solution. He doesn’t want to think of the worst. Deep down, there’s a strong feeling that it’s actually going to happen.

Because he does know them. He knows how they will want to fight. They don’t want to do it at all. Threats have gotten them out of trouble before, it shouldn’t be any different now. Only Steve wasn’t giving up. Giving in. He separated himself from them enough that their words don’t mean shit anymore.

At least that’s how he’ll act. In court, he’ll tell the judge the truth, not caring what their going to say as a rebuttal. The way they’ll tear him down as much as they can. It won’t affect him then, but Steve has no way of knowing how it will affect him behind closed doors.

Despite everything, someone deep inside him craves for their approval. Their attention. That person has been getting satisfaction knowing that he’s getting it somehow. The same person that threw large parties just to get the cops called. Just to see if they would show up again. Give him a phone call. Steve wants to ignore that part of him, but it’s there.

That same part of him will probably cry when this is all over. Knowing that his parents are done with him forever. That they think the worst of him. Their opinion shouldn’t matter. It still does sometimes.

“I promise I will,” Steve assures.

“Good.” Sarah hangs up without another word.

Steve’s relationship with his parents has always been complicated. He knew that. Everyone knew that. There was a small hope that if he just acted right, did all the right things, the relationship would become less complicated. Less strained. He’d be their son the way other sons were. Not just a trophy to sit on a shelf, but something more. It never became that, no matter how hard he tried.

So he stopped trying, and look where he is now.

. . .

Julie was putting her plate in the sink when a car pulled into the driveway. Steve’s head turned to the door, wondering who it is. He never does that. People come and go here all the time, normally Eddie since he has a car. Robin if she gets him to pick her up on the way.

But Steve never turns his head when it’s them. Like he has some sort of sixth sense when it comes to random people showing up at his door. Always knowing who it is before he sees them. This is different.

Still, Julie doesn’t pay much thought on it. It’s probably just one of them. Or maybe one of the kids had their parents drive them over. It’s nothing.

Until they hear the garage door start to open. No one ever uses the garage.

Steve’s body tightens. Standing straighter that he normally does. He abandons his dish in the sink, walking toward the door leading to the garage. On attention. Waiting for something to pounce.

She’s never seen him like this before.

When he returns to the kitchen, there’s a frightened look in his eye. One that immediately makers her heart start to pound faster. It can’t be that bad. What can scare him into looking like this? Spine tied up with a string. Stance ready to start running. Afraid. He’s so afraid.

His mouth opens to say something as a car door slams. A rage filled voice traveling across the house. Enough that she can place who’s it is, even after only hearing it once. Steve’s fear matches in her eyes.

“Steve, who’s here?” Her voice waivers.

Without saying a word, Steve gently grabs her arm and brings her to the sliding door. “You can’t be here right now. They can’t know you’re here.”

“Steve,” she asks again.

He slides the door open, the evening air making her shiver. “The Byers house isn’t that far through the woods. You remember going there for Christmas Eve, right? Go straight about thirty feet, then make a right and keep walking.”

“Steve.”

The door starts to open, and the voices fill the other room. Steve’s eyes dart towards the sound before landing back on her. Only making her more scared.

“I’ll be there within an hour with the rest of our stuff. But it will be worse if they see you’re here. I don’t want them to hurt you.”

“Steve,” she pleads for him to slow down.

“You got it. Go to the loose fence behind the pool house and then walk straight a little bit. Then make a right and keep going. You’ll see their house after a while. Take this.” He reaches for the walkie on the kitchen table. Messing with the dial. “When you get to the woods, call for a code red. It won’t go to everyone, just to them. I’ll be there when I can.”

Before Julie can say anything else, Steve pushes her out the door and shuts it behind her. Sliding the lock into place.

Heavy breaths fill her lungs, burning slightly with the chilled air. She looks at Steve though the glass. Face frantically asking for an explanation. Trying to convince her the one she has is wrong. They can’t be here right now.

“Go, please,” Steve mouths through the glass. Terrified.

Julie turns. Walking to the pool house. Finding the loose panels of the fence and pulls them to the side. The same way she would do when she would sneak into this backyard. When she lived in that other house and would do anything not to be there.

Steve’s instructions replay in her mind. Walk straight for a bit, about thirty feet. Maybe more. The turn right and keep walking until you see the house. Call for a code red. Julie looks at the walkie in her hand before she presses the button. Seeing how her hand in shaking.

“Copy,” a man’s voice comes through the speaker. Julie unable to place it right now. “I’ll wait outside for you. If you don’t see the porch light, look for the flashlight. Call again if you get lost.”

Julie turns to the house again. The light click on in Steve’s room. He shouldn’t be much longer. There’s not much else to grab. He should be right after her.

She thinks about waiting. But she already called. They’ll get worried if she doesn’t show up.

Her mind can’t stop racing as she walks. Sun setting slowly as it becomes harder to see the ground. Squinting to make sure she doesn’t trip on a root or branch.

Did Steve’s parents really show up? Just unannounced. That part wasn’t as surprising when she thought about it. They seemed like the people to do that. Steve mentioned that they might come home. She didn’t believe it then. She barely believed it now.

He was right. They showed up at the worst possible time. Give it another week and they would have been out of there anyway. But no, they just had to show up today.

The rage of Steve’s father’s voice rings in her head. The threats on the phone call finding their way back to her mind. What would they do when they saw he was still there? He wanted the two of them gone, that didn’t happen. Not yet. It was happening, but something told Julie that wouldn’t matter. In their heads, Steve disobeyed them. Again.

. . .

Steve watches Julie round the pool house before he turns away. Knowing that she’s going to a safe place, that no matter what the Byers’ will take care of her. His safety, he’s not so sure about. Anger fills his dad fast, and it’s already bubbling over with the sight of the Beemer still sitting in the driveway. Or the fact that there’s lights on in the house.

He’s about to see his parents for the first time in two years. And he’s terrified.

Everything slows down like one of the horror movie scenes. Where the footsteps thump down the hall while the protagonist just stands and waits like an idiot. Waiting for it to strike. They don’t seem like such idiots anymore. Steve knows how feet can feel glued to the floor, but it has a whole new meaning now.

His back is straight, chest puffed out in a way that makes him look bigger than he is. Anything to make him more menacing than his father’s glare. Or fist. Or whatever is coming his way as his father finds his way to the kitchen.

For the first time in two years, Steve looks at his father’s face. Disgusted how much it looks like his. A constant reminder of where he comes from, no matter how hard he tries. Rage filled eyes meet Steve’s, waiting for him to make the first move. All he does is cross his arms, clench his jaw. Trap his father in a glare. He’s not speaking until he has to.

“Steven,” his mother breaks the silence. “We were not expecting you.”

She always tried to keep the peace between them. To try and keep in his father’s rage. It rarely worked. But she tried. It was the one thing Steve commended her for. Deep down, he felt bad for her. Trapped in an unhappy marriage having to follow after Richard just to make sure he didn’t cheat. But that still meant leaving him, and she didn’t call enough for him to forgive for that.

“No, we were not,” Richard finally speaks, voice tense. “What are you still doing here?” Considering you are no longer welcome in this house, that is.

His father can’t even speak his name. Steve debates walking past right up to his room. Filling the last tote bag before doing the same with the rest of Julie’s stuff. Walking out without an explanation. His father raises his eyebrow with a tilt to his head. Awaiting an explanation.

Instead, Steve decides to gloat. “I’m actually just waiting for the keys to my house. Didn’t want the neighbors to think you left your son to sleep in his car. That wouldn’t be so nice to the reputation, wouldn’t it, dad.” He continues to glare at his father, not backing down.

His father lets out a condescending laugh. “If you were so concerned about reputation, then we wouldn’t have to go to court. Would we, Steven? Instead, you think that you deserve some kind of justice. After all we’ve done for you.”

It’s Steve’s turn to laugh. “What did you do for me exactly?”

“Put a roof over your head, make sure there was money to put food on the table. Give you a car, clothes, expensive gifts. See you through high school, pay for your sports equipment. Everything you have is because we gave it to you.” Richard’s voice raises, almost yelling. Almost.

Steve resists a flinch when the last word booms through the room. Instead of saying another word, he side-steps his parents, heading upstairs. Flicking on the light in his room, stuffing as much of his stuff into a tote bag. His room already looks bare except for the sheet and the stupid car poster on his wall.

His mother appears in his doorway moments later, a more silent argument ready to be said. Until she sees the walls. “You painted?” she gasped.

“I did. Hope you don’t mind. I won’t be here much longer anyway. You can turn it back into what it was.”

A sickened smile forms on his mother’s face. “You never told me you wanted to change your room. We could have done it together.”

Meaning that she could have changed it while he watched. Hating how it would have turned out no matter what the product was. His mother never listened to him anyway.

“Well, you were never here long enough to change it, so I just did it myself.” He smiles to himself when his mother’s smile twitches. Knowing that his words stung.

The tote bag gets slung over his shoulder as he pushes past her. Leaving her to look at her ruined masterpiece as he packs up Julie’s room. Pulling out the tote bag she has underneath her bed and putting away the few essentials that she had left. Taking out another to shove her clothes into.

His mother gasps as she sees the paint over these walls as well. This room in particular being her favorite guest room. “What have you done?”

“Painted. Like I said.” He continues to fill the second tote bag.

Richard finds his way up the stairs, done waiting for Steve. Eyes landing on the desk where the picture of Julie and her mother rests. Steve grabs it before he can, gently placing it in the tote bag. Throwing some clothes around it so it doesn’t break.

“Has someone been living in here?” his father asks, not willing to admit he recognized the woman in the picture.

Steve takes a deep breath. “Oh no one special. Just your daughter.”

His parents stiffen at the same time. Bringing a sly smile to Steve’s face.

“I don’t have a daughter,” his mother says with feigned confidence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to him.” He meets his father’s eyes again. “I was talking about Julie.”

As fast the smile formed of Steve’s face, it’s smacked off. Cheek stinging with the contact of his father’s hand. His mother gasps, scolding her husband. Knowing nothing would stop him from doing it again. Steve grabs the desk chair, using it to balance him as he gets his bearings. Waits for the ringing in his ear to calm down, for the breath to return to his lungs.

“You are never to speak that name again,” Richard commands. “She is nothing.”

“Julie is not nothing.” Steve manages to stand, only to have to grip the chair again when Richard’s fist makes contact again. Lip darting out to taste the blood coming from his split lip. A short laugh escapes as he stands, planting his feet stronger this time. “You really thought I’d never figure out about her.”

“You think you are so tough, don’t you, Steven. Changing your room, getting a job, housing someone you don’t know. All of that you could do because of me. All of that you are going to lose. What will come of you when you don’t have us paying for everything anymore? When you can’t come crawling back to us when life gets hard.”

Steve manages to stand again. Plants his feet the way he’s learned to. Treating his father like every other monster he’s faced. Wishing that there was a bat in his hand to twirl around. Make a show of protecting himself.

He doesn’t need it this time. Richard might pretend to be strong and menacing, but he’s just a person. Who got a few good hits in because Steve wasn’t prepared for them. He is now.

“You would know something about housing someone you don’t know. You’ve been housing me for twenty years.”

Richard’s arm raises again, but Steve was ready for it this time. Catching his wrist before it can contact Steve’s face. It surprises the both of them, but Steve doesn’t let his guard down. His eyes dart to his mother, who hides just barely behind Richard. Laura was never one for confrontation, and now he’s something more than just her son. Now he’s a threat.

“I am more than what you think I am. I changed my room because I never liked the old one. Because I should feel welcome in my childhood home. I got the job because if my hard work, not because of my name. I gave Julie a home because she is my sister, that is a fact. And because her and I have something in common. Our father knows nothing about us.”

“Let go of me, Steven.” For the first time, Richard is the one with fear in his eyes.

“Are you going to hit me again?” Steve tightens his grip.

Richard shakes his head. “No, no I’m not. Don’t do anything rash here, Steven.”

Steve lets go of Richard’s wrist with a swing, letting it slam back into him. “I go by Steve, but you both always ignored that anyway. I’m not some kid you get to push around anymore, no matter how hard you’ll try. You might think I’m stupid for staying here after you told me to get out, you might think what I’m doing is pointless. But I’m not doing all of this for me anymore, I’m doing it for me and for Julie. Because while you thought she was just something you could pay to never think about again, you missed out on a pretty great kid.”

He takes a deep breath. “But I guess you’re used to that. You missed out on the kid you kept around. Even if you weren’t here to see me grow up. I hope it all was worth it. It was a lot of hell for me.”

Steve grabs the tote bags, slinging one over each shoulder and the other in his hand. Taking a moment to realize that this is the last time he’ll ever set foot in this house. It’ll no longer be his home. It should be sadder than it is. There were many good memories among the bad that happened here. But he feels a weight lift off his shoulders. It’s not over yet, but he’s free of one of his chains.

“You going to let me leave? Not like you want me here anyway.”

Neither of them moves. Not ready to admit they lost.

“Where are you going to go?” Laura asks like she cares. She might, but it was too little too late at this point.

“You don’t get to know that.”

Laura lowers her head in a nod, accepting. Steve pushes his way past them and down the stairs. Finding his keys.

Richard follows him down, not willing to give up. “Don’t think you can have the car, we paid for that. It’s ours.”

Steve laughs, undoing a keychain Robin made him from the ring. “I know, was just getting this off.” He tosses Richard the keys. “There you go. House key is on there too, so you won’t have to bother about me coming back.”

He grabs his flashlight from the hall closet before opening the door. Sparing one last look at his parents, to find anything that shows remorse. All he sees is Richard’s hard stare and Laura’s sorry eyes. Nothing calling him to stay.

So he leaves.

. . .

Julie was lucky she didn’t get lost. She followed the directions and, after a while, saw the porch light. The last bit of sunlight helps her get the rest of the way there. Illuminating the path just slightly so she doesn’t trip.

“Hey,” a voice says from beside her, making her jump. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

Julie turns to see the Chief holding a flashlight, the light pointing towards her. “I think you would have even if I knew you were there.”

“Come on, let’s get you inside. It’s getting cold out here.” Hopper steps in front of her, leading her the rest of the way.

Joyce is waiting for them in the house. Getting up from the couch when they open the door. “You’ve been out there for a while. I was getting worried. Oh honey, you’re shaking, are you cold?”

Julie looks down at her hands, seeing them shake. She doesn’t feel cold. More in shock than anything. Afraid of something she’s never really experienced. Only hearing his voice once over the phone. That was enough to spark fear. Not for her, but for Steve.

It was all she could think about when she was walking. What Steve was going to face when his parents saw that he wasn’t there. If they saw what they did to their rooms. If they saw her.

She agreed it was probably best that she wasn’t there. It would have probably made it all ten times worse. But leaving Steve alone in that house, with them. It felt like a bad idea.

He can take care of himself, she knew that. That didn’t stop her from feeling like she should be there. Be a barrier to stop them from hurting him. In whatever way they were going to. Maybe if there was a witness, he could leave without a fight.

“Julie, sweetie, are you ok?” Joyce’s warm voice breaks through her thoughts.

Julie tries to say something, but nothing comes out. It hits her all at once how scared she was for him.

“What time is it?” she asks.

Joyce checks the clock in the living room. “Just about seven thirty, why?”

Julie left a little after seven. So, assuming Steve left right after her, he should be here soon. And if he left a bit later, he should be here by eight. That’s if nothing went wrong. If they didn’t get into an argument. Or he didn’t get lost.

“He said he’d get here within the hour. So by eight. If nothing happened. Do you think something will happen?” Her voice can’t help but shake.

Joyce makes a face that is supposed to help but doesn’t. Full of sympathy, but one of no answers. “I’m not sure. But whatever it is, he’ll be fine. I know he will.”

“And if he isn’t?” Julie keeps seeing the small person that Steve becomes when he talks to his father. How the light drains out of him, and he becomes a shell of the person he is. His father isn’t even in person and can do that. What will happen when he is in person?

“He will be,” Joyce assures. “How about you come in, sit down. Can I get you anything? Water, hot chocolate?”

Julie lets herself be led to the living room. “Water would be nice.”

“Alright. El here if you want to see her, have someone to sit with.”

“Yeah, yes. I would like that.”

Joyce smiles at her. “Ok, I’ll go get her for you. Jim.” She nods her head toward the kitchen before heading down the hall.

Hopper brings her a glass of water, which she takes. Taking a sip before setting it on the table, seeing how her hands still shake. Joyce comes back down the hall motioning for Hopper to join her in the kitchen. Leaving Julie alone in the living room. Until El comes to sit next to her.

“Joyce told me about what happened,” she says softly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“He used to hit my mom,” Julie blurts out. “He used to hit my mom when they were together, and she made him angry. Steve made him angry. I know he did. He called the house last week and, and kicked us out. And we didn’t leave yet, because we couldn’t. Steve doesn’t get the keys for a few more days. What if he hits Steve, too?”

El’s hands find hers, holding them together to calm the shaking. Julie turns her head to meet El’s eyes. Seeing an expression that feigns strength but fear still rests in her eyes. She’s scared for Steve too.

“I have known Steve for longer that you have. I know how strong he is, how brave he is. He will be ok. I promise.” There’s a certainty in her words.

Somehow, Julie believes her. “Ok. Ok, yeah. Yeah. He’ll be ok.”

“Would you like a hug?”

Julie nods. Her breath starting to even out again, the adrenaline keeping her tears at bay failing.

El opens her arms and leans forward to give Julie a hug. Julie takes it with a choked sob, tears starting to fall. El pats her back awkwardly, not quite sure what to do but it’s helping. With a few deep breaths, Julie’s able to pull herself together. Pulling away from El to wipe the tears from her eyes. She won’t be ok until Steve shows up, but she’s better. For now.

“Thanks, that helped.”

El smiles. “Good. Do you want to watch something while we wait? Keep your mind off of it?”

“Yeah, sure.”

El clicks on the tv, finding a channel with some reruns that Julie doesn’t pay attention to. Her mind is still on Steve. Knowing that the there’s no sunlight left to guide the way, and he has no walkie to let her know when she’s coming. Yet she still grips the one resting in her lap. Hoping by some miracle she hears Steve’s voice through the staticky connection and knows he’s ok.

But nothing comes through. The only noise filling the house is the tv, and the not so silent whispering between Joyce and the Chief in the kitchen. After a while, Hopper heads back outside with the flashlight, walkie stuffed in his jacket pocket. He’s going to look for Steve.

It feels like forever before there’s a knock at the door. Making Julie sit up straighter. Joyce emerges from the kitchen to open it. A very winded Steve behind the door, tote bags slung over his shoulder and flashlight in hand.

“Sorry I’m late,” he apologizes while catching his breath. “I had to go the long way.”

Joyce ushers him in. Steve barely gets a chance to put the bags down before Julie’s on her feet and pulling him into a hug.

“You’re ok.”

“Yeah, I’m ok. Did you get here ok, I know I kind of freaked you out.”

Julie lets go. “Freaked me out. Steve, you terrified the shit out of me. After the phone call last week and the little I knew about him I,” she pauses when she sees his split lip. “He hit you?”

Steve touches his lip. “Yeah, he, uh, he did. But I’m ok. I’ve had far worse than this.”

“You say that like it makes it ok. It doesn’t.”

He looks down with a shake of his head. “I know it doesn’t.”

“He really hit you because you didn’t leave.” Julie can’t seem to wrap her head around the idea. But then, she would never hit someone for any reason. Let alone that.

Steve clears his throat. “Sort of. Why don’t you go sit with El for a bit, I have to talk to Joyce for a second.”

She gives him a confused look, knowing he didn’t answer her question fully. But she still goes to sit on the couch again. Him and Joyce go to the kitchen, speaking in whispers. Something tells her that reason he was attacked was because of her.

. . .

Joyce uses her walkie to let Hopper know that Steve is at the house. She gets him a glass of water and makes him sit down, looking at his lip.

“It’s really not that bad. You and I both know this is the least beat up I’ve ever been after a fight.”

She sits down in the chair across from him. “You should listen to Julie. That still doesn’t make it ok.”

He looks down at his hands. “I know. Just easier to think of it that way. Out of all the things he’s done, he’s never hit me before.”

Hopper comes into the kitchen, sitting down next to Joyce. “You ok, kid?”

Steve shakes his head. “I will be, just need a second. Thanks for making sure she got here. Making sure she was safe. I didn’t know what would happen if he saw her there. Just knowing that she was there at all was the reason why,” he can’t finish the sentence.

“Of course. You both can stay here as long as you need to,” Joyce offers.

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

Hopper crosses his arms. “You could press charges if you wanted, make your case a little stronger.”

“It’s my word against his, and my mom will never speak out against him.” She never did before, why would it change now. “Can I use your phone, I need to make some calls.”

Joyce nods and Steve heads to the phone in the hall. Pulling out Sarah’s number from his pocket. Dialing it with a deep breath. She wouldn’t be happy with this.

She wasn’t. Cursing Steve through the phone with an “I told you so”. But grateful that Julie is safe, grateful that he is too. She gives him a day before she’ll say anything. Give him time to make it look like Julie was just at an extended sleepover. For them to move. He thanks her just before she hangs up.

Robin is next. Takes a second to make sure he’s ok before cursing out his dad. Offering to go over there herself and give him a piece of her mind. He tells her it’s a bad idea, she disagrees, but still says she will keep it all for when she sees him in court. That way there will be witnesses. She makes sure he’s ok, offers to come over. Steve assures that he’s fine and will talk to her again in the morning.

The last person is Eddie. Steve already knows how he’ll react, but still hopes he won’t freak out that much.

“Where are you right now?” he asks after Steve fills him in.

“The Byers. It was the closest place that was safe.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

Steve holds the phone closer to his mouth. “Eds, really. You don’t have to come over.”

“Like hell I don’t.” Eddie hangs up before Steve can protest anymore.

He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t want to see Eddie right now. That if knowing that his boyfriend was willing to drop everything just to be there with him right now didn’t bring him comfort. Part of him didn’t want Eddie to see him like this, though. Fragile, partially homeless. Taken a few hits to the face.

As if Eddie hasn’t seen Steve beat up before. Pretty much all of Hawkins has, it’s a reoccurring event. But those times were different. It was because of his own idiocy or protecting someone. This was at the hands of someone that already caused him more pain than he should have gone through. He didn’t know how to admit that he got hit for no reason.

He heads back to the kitchen, tells them that Eddie’s coming over. They don’t say much, but have a knowing look in their eye. One that scares the hell out of him, but makes him feel seen at the same time. Steve could be himself in this house. Around these people. It wasn’t even his, and it felt more like home than he’s ever known.

“I never asked if you were ok,” Steve says as he sits down next to Julie. “Are you?”

Julie shrugs. “As ok as I can be I guess.”

“Sounds about right.”

“Did he hit you because of me?” Julie asks after a pause.

Steve would do anything to lie to her right now. To dart around the question and make up some excuse. Knowing her, she would see right through it. She didn’t need him lying to add to tonight. But would it be better for her to know the truth?

There’s a knock at the door before Steve can try to answer. He thinks it’s for the best. Enough has happened for one night.

He stands when Joyce opens the door. Almost getting pushed out of the way when Eddie sees Steve in the living room. They meet in a hug, Steve feeling more relieved that he thought he would.

“Those jackasses couldn’t have waited a few more days before they finally came home. They had to do it while you were still there.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “Yeah well, they never had the best timing.”

Eddie notices the cut on his lip when he pulls back from the hug. Eyes filling with anger. “I’m actually going to get arrested for murder this time.”

“Eds, it’s really not that bad.”

“Not that bad.” Eddie’s voice raises. “Not that bad, Steve. You have a fucking split lip. Your eye is puffy.”

Steve tries to calm Eddie down, still conscious of the people around them. Trying not to make it look too revealing. “It could be worse.”

He sees Joyce say something to the girls that gets them to leave and head down the hall. Leaving him and Eddie alone in the living room.

“How hard did he hit you? Can you hear me alright? What about your vision, nothing’s blurry. You can still see fine?” Eddie clocks when they leave, grabbing Steve’s head with both his hands, assessing the damage.

Steve tries to pull Eddie’s hands away, make this less of a big deal. “I can hear and see fine. He didn’t hit me hard enough to do anything. I’ve had worse, it’s the least concerning thing that’s happened in the last few hours.”

“Your father, a grown man, assaulted you. His son. And you think there are more concerning things that happened in the last few hours.” Eddie’s face falls. “Just because you’re an adult when he hit you doesn’t make it better.”

“I know that,” he admits. Starting to feel the weight of everything finally sink in. “I just don’t know how to process it all right now. Tonight’s been a lot and I just need a minute, a day, I don’t know. Something. I just can’t think about that right now.”

“Ok,” Eddie says softly. “Ok. Then we won’t talk about it anymore. When every you’re ready. Does it hurt though, do you need ice or anything? Last thing, I promise.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, no. It’s ok. I’m ok right now.”

Eddie nods. Kissing Steve before pulling him into another hug.

Just when Steve gets his life together, it all falls apart again. Or at least feels like it. In just a few days, the pieces will be put back into place. His life will get back on schedule. His schedule. Where he can move into a house that he bought, with his own money. To a job that he got, by himself. And life that has nothing to do with his last name.

Even if the court date is a few months away, and he’ll have to see his parents again. But after that, he’ll never have to interact with them again. He will be permanently free.

Right now. He’s trying to hold it all together. Making his brain slow down to give himself a minute to breath. Before the crushing reality of all that just happened presses down on his chest. And they’ll take hold of his mind again. Just for a little while, then he’ll break free again.

Joyce insists they stay the night. Explaining how Julie is already set up in El’s room, and how the two of them can take the pull-out couch. Just like that, with no explanation needed. Or excuses. Maybe Steve could tell everyone about them soon.

It’s still early when everyone goes to bed. Just wanting the day to be over, even if they’re not tired. But the comfort of darkness lets Eddie scoot closer, hold Steve a little tighter. Make him feel put together even though he’s slowly starting to fall apart.

Tomorrow is a new day. With plenty of problems to be solved and conversations to be had. Telling the rest of the group to stay clear of his old house and change his contact information with a few people. Try to get the keys a few days earlier.

Tonight is meant for sleep. To float around and exist without anything pressing his mind. Wrapped up in his boyfriend’s arms and feel comfort for a brief moment. Until his looks in the mirror again and see the healing cut on his lip, and the slight bruise on his cheek. Almost fall apart all over again until he pulls himself back together. Each time a little weaker than the last until he finally breaks.

It’s so easy to fall back into old habits. To bottle everything up for the sake of other. For the sake of himself. Steve really can’t process everything right now. It would sting more that it already does. So, it gets pushed away. Until he’s ready to face it again.

He only hopes that time will be sooner than most. So he doesn’t blow up at someone that’s undeserving. Saying something he can’t take back.

But right now, he doesn’t need to think about that. Right now he needs to sleep.

Tag list(let me know if you want to be added or removed): @homoerotictangerine, @mugloversonly, @thesuninyaface, @imyelenasexual, @anaibis, @ilovecupcakesandtea, @brainsteddielyrotted, @jackiemonroe5512, @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @cinnamon-mushroomabomination, @lolawonsstuff, @writingandmushroomdragons, @stevesbipanic, @sierra-violet, @steddie-as-they-go, @dauntlessdiva, @mousedetective, @the-daydreamer-in-the-corner, @zombiethingy, @connected-dots-st-reblogger, @that-agender-from-pluto, @allyricas, @cheddartreets, @devondespresso, @crypticcorvidinacottage, @queenie-ofthe-void @chronicpainstevetruther, @cheddartreets, @theupsidedownrealestateagent, @acidbubblegummie, @sirsnacksalot, @l0st-strawberry, @helpimstuckposting, @strawberry-starss, @freddykicksasses, @italianwhore1, @i-threw-my-name-out-the-window, @rageagainsttheapathy, @nuggies4life, @ape31, @whimsicalwitchm, @chrissycunninghamfanblog, @michellegilligan, @hippielittlemetalhead, @bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale, @jaytriesstuff, @confused-stripes, @faeb1tch42069, @marklee-blackmore, @hel-spawn, @genderless-spoon, @mamafaithful, @estrellami-1, @starryeyedpoet17 @i-amthepizzaman, @lilpomelito @melonmochi

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #julie lawson #joyce byers #jim hopper #long lost/secret sibling #i don't know which ways home fic #cw minor descriptions of violence #tw minor descriptions of violence #cw physical assault #tw physical assault

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ash5monster01 · 9 months

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Perfect To Love Part 7

Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, angst, trust issues.

Summary: Beth Walker was used to living in the shadows. She had only one friend and anyone else who paid her mind usually bullied her for her size. So she learned to keep her mouth shut, her head down, and her heart closed because she had to accept the fact that she would be nothing more than the fat girl to people. That is until Robin decides Beth needs more in life and that might just include a boy who she never would’ve thought could see her for who she truly was.

a/n: this chapter is short & sweet, I know, but I wrote it to give more of the dynamic between Robin and Beth, and more of an idea of what’s going on in Beth’s head. she just doesn’t want to be hurt <3

word count: 2,296

Part 6 ←→ Part 8

Masterlist

Beth had expected to feel a lot of things after their date. Considering it was her first date ever. She thought it would go like it did in the movies, be everything she ever dreamed of. She thought she’d feel butterflies for the next couple of days. Dream of stolen glances and soft touches. Instead every time she thought back she cringed. Actually recoiled into herself from embarrassment. She’d replay the date in her head, try to remove that feeling, yet every time she reached the end she’d wince, and have to start all over again. It was a torturous cycle and she was unsure how to break it. Unsure how to separate the good moments from where they had turned bad.

She also wasn't sure how to explain it, which was why she had been screening Robin's calls since. When Beth had returned home that night Robin had been long gone needing to be home in time for dinner with her parents. Instead of following through on the promise to call her with all of the details she had been avoiding her, because how do you explain to your best friend how badly you messed up when you weren't even sure yourself how it happened. It wasn't something you could just easily explain. It also wasn't something Robin could easily understand. After all Beth was embarrassed and here she was cringing again as she thought of it.

"Alright Walker, open the door before I break it. I won't hesitate. Alan already told me I was allowed" Robin banged at the girls door and she flinched, rolling over to look at it. Knowing confrontation was standing right there behind the white paint on the door.

"Robin please let me sulk a little longer" Beth groaned out, flopping a pillow onto her face.

"Not happening, open up" Beth groaned louder, this time so Robin could hear, before tossing the pillow away, and standing to open the door. Swinging it open just to spot the blonde girl holding up a tub of ice cream and two spoons with her permanent awkward smile on her face.

"You're really gonna make me do this?" Beth asked and Robin nodded which caused Beth to sigh as she returned to her bed, Robin now following behind. Once they were both settled in, side by side, and spoons in each of their hands, Robin turned to her.

"Alright, tell me what's up. Steve said you've been avoiding him too" Beths head fell back against the head board as Robin mentioned his name. She needed at least another half and hour before this type of torture.

"Robin I'm such an idiot. I told you I was too awkward to do this" Beth told her, eyes shut so she didn't have to face her bestfriend and show her humiliation.

"I think you're over thinking it. Steve said it was a great date. Just the end was a bit weird" Beth cringed, tucking herself into the sheets as Robin said this.

"Oh God, he's never gonna ask me out again" at this Beth stuck the spoon into the tub of ice cream and shoved a glob in her mouth. She hated turning to food for comfort considering her size, but embarassment this harsh needed all the ice cream in the world.

"That's not true, tell me what happened and I'll tell you that you're overreacting"

"I can't believe you don't remember me from high school" Beth shook her head as Steve opened the car door for her, Steve outwardly groaning as he heard this.

"I was an asshole in high school Beth, if it helps I didn't remember Robin either" he explained, shutting her into the car before she could respond, and jogging to the other side.

"You definitely were an asshole, I can agree with that" she told him once he was inside. Beth didn't want to tell him what happened, didn't want to ruin this night, because the night had been so good. So perfect. Everything she ever wanted.

"Hey, that's mean" he gasped, but he was pretending. He blocked out a lot of things from highschool because when he thought of who he used to be, the things he used to do, they were things he didn't want to remember. Things he didn't want to represent him. Yet he wouldn't doubt at some point their paths had crossed and it was more than likely not the type of meeting they were doing now.

“Hey I said were. If you asked me a month ago I would’ve said you were still an asshole but after you punched Colin and tonight, I can officially say Steve Harrington has changed for the better” Beth said grabbing his hand this time. She had gotten more comfortable, more confident in his feelings towards her. She could grab his hand and not feel awkward now.

“Thank you Beth, it means a lot” Steve had his own set of problems Beth realized. Sometimes she was so focused on her own she missed others. Steve was a different guy and she could recognize that was not easy to come to. Beth waited a moment before acknowledging his sentence.

“Anytime Steve” the air in the car was heavy. A repercussion of a good first date and an understanding conversation. Both parties could feel it, feel the weight of what could come next. It was the moment Steve had been waiting for since the beginning of the date.

“Bethany?” Steve cooed, eyes flicking down to her cherry red lips. Beth’s heart doubled over in speed, hammering against her rib cage because he looked so pretty and he was looking at her like that. Flushed cheeks, fallen strands of hair, hazel eyes shining into her own.

“How’d you know my name was Bethany?” she whispered, pretending he wasn’t leaning closer because despite the fact of how badly she wanted to kiss him she was tainted by a cruel world. Was she even deserving of a kiss from a boy like him?

“Your Mom happened to let it slip” he was too close now, so close his hand was no longer locked into her own but using the back of her seat for support. Beth felt the panic begin to creep up her chest. She wanted to taste him, to be apart of the club of girls that knew what it was like to be kissed silly by him.

Then his hand landed on her thigh, her skirt had risen from sitting in the seat, and Beth became very aware very fast that he could feel her. Feel her size, the weight, the plush of her skin because she was fat. She knew it, she didn’t need him to know it too. So instead of focusing on the fact that he was now so close she could smell the honey scent of his hair, she panicked because he was close enough now that he could feel her and it was going to gross him out.

“You ready to go?” she blurted without much thought, head turning away from him, his lips just barely grazing her cheek. Steve felt the disappointment like a gut punch and she pulled her leg from his grasp. Confusion flooded his features and she kept her sight straight out the window, too scared to even look at him.

“Um yeah, it’s almost 10 anyway” Steve said after clearing his throat. He recovered quickly but he was finding it hard to hide how much it bothered him that she couldn’t kiss him.

With the air now heavy with denial a word wasn’t shared between the two as he drove her home and the electric buzz had been eliminated. Steve wondering the whole drive why she didn’t want to kiss him and Beth fighting the panic that had burrowed it’s way into her chest over the fact that she was about to have her first kiss and if he didn’t like it she was sure she would never recover.

“You denied him?” Robin questioned, the ice cream on her spoon dripping back into the container.

“I panicked Rob. At first I was so excited, I wanted to kiss him so bad, and then I realized he was touching me. He could feel the difference between me and all those skinny girls. I didn’t want to see his disappointment when he noticed” Beth covered her face with her hands and Robin sighed as she plucked the spoon from her grasp and set it in the container.

“Beth it’s okay to be scared about your first kiss. You’re scared for the wrong reasons though. Steve made a pass at you because he wanted to kiss you. If anything was to disappoint him he wouldn’t have gone on the date” Robin told her as she pulled her hands away from her eyes. She had already listened to Steve all morning asking where he went wrong. He wanted to kiss her and he wanted to know why he couldn’t. Hearing it was about Beth’s size broke her heart.

“It’s too late now, he isn’t going to ask me out again” Beth told her, eyes glimmering with tears. She was embarrassed by how she reacted, cringing at the memory of denying him.

“That is so not true. I had to fight him from trying to come with me” Robin told her, recalling Steve begging to let him tag along to her house.

“I’m so embarrassed, and I don’t want to tell him why” Beth whimpered and Robin sighed as she wrapped an arm around her friends shoulder. She leaned her head against her own and gave a small hum of thought.

“He deserves an explanation Beth and it’s not my place to tell him. He thinks he upset you and he won’t forgive himself until he knows why” Robin told her and Beth groaned.

“I was so much better off without all this drama” Beth chuckled and Robin joined her, giving her a squeeze.

“Well it’s a little late for that now. You’ve entered the dating world and it’s full of drama, confusion, and heartbreak. You’re gonna love it” Robin told her and Beth laughed before sitting up to look at her friend.

“You can’t say things like that to me if you still won’t ask Vickie out on a date” Beth said and Robins jaw went slack with shock.

“How’d you know?” she asked and Beth just shrugged before picking up her spoon again.

“I spend every day with you two, you look at her the way I look at Micheal J. Fox” Beth told her and Robin shoved her teasingly.

“You’re lucky I love you” Robin pointed and Beth just giggled, eating another spoonful of her ice cream.

“I guess we both got to figure this whole dating thing out” Beth told her and Robin nodded, scooping a bite of ice cream for herself.

“Could I ask you something?” Robin asked after a beat and Beth nodded.

“Anything” she told her and Robin sighed as she thought of how to say it.

“How come you don’t trust Steve like you do me and Nancy?” she finally asked after a beat and Beth sighed, ready to fib but Robin cut her off. “I know it’s not cause he’s a guy either. He’s proven he’s not like Colin”

“But he used to be” Beth whispered and Robin furrowed her eyebrows.

“What do you mean?” she asked and Beth let out a breath, fingers fiddling with the spoon in her hand.

“When I was a freshman him and his friends did something to me that I could never forget. It jump started harassment towards me for years. I don’t think he even remembers but how do you trust someone who has already hurt you once before” Robins eyes widened, not really knowing this would be the reason. She remembered what Steve, Tommy, and Carol were like though. She watched them harass kids to tears before. She was lucky enough to not be one of them but apparently Beth wasn’t.

“I’m sure he’s sorry for it” Robin began to defend her friend but Beth shook her head.

“I don’t doubt it, he’s a good guy now. It’s the fact he doesn’t remember is what concerns me. If he remembered at least I’d know he cared. That he regretted every moment he was a jerk” Beth told her and Robin took this information in, accepting the fact that Beth more than likely didn't want to share details just yet.

"Maybe tell him that, explain you couldn't kiss him because of what he did. That you can start to trust him once you move past that" Robin told her, hoping she could tell Steve the truth about what she was feeling. Beth had been the happiest Robin had ever seen her the past month and she wanted it to stay that way.

"Maybe, but right now I need to hate myself just a little bit longer" Beth told her and Robin lightly snorted.

"You know I think you should come to terms with Steve on your own but he's the best. Don't ever tell him I said that, but other than you he's my bestfriend and I trust him with my life. There isn't many people out there I would say that about" Robin told her and Beth nodded as she listened to her friend talk so highly of the boy. Beth had seen he was all those amazing things, she didn't need Robin to convince her of it. But in the balance of all things was Steve's past heavier then his future? And if it was Beth wasn't sure she'd want to be apart of it.

The world had already crushed her, she didn't need Steve Harrington to finish her off.

Taglist: @kindablackenedsuperhero @rinarecommends @starryeyedpoet17 @crustless-toast @loverofmarsss @alexa-33 @bethanysnow @middle-of-the-earth @princessadriana4-blog @mochminnie @legendaryhumandiplomatgoop @a-lil-bit-nuts @i-came-as-bostonian

Comment if you want to be added to the taglist :))

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hxhhasmysoul · 4 months

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Just found this in twitter, so cool :

"Sukuna about Yuji: “Our souls lived in the same body. I know that this kid, no matter how many times his soul brakes, he'll always come back. He wields an invincible soul” #JJKSpoilers #JJK248"

Thoughts (as SukuIta shipper & non shipper glasses)?

I don't know if my shipper opinion differs much from the non shipper one.

I've been talking about how unique Yuuji's soul is for a long time now. And the story has always acknowledged it. The concept of the soul, what it is, what it can do, how it relates to jujutsu, is one of the recurring issues heavily discussed in universe. All major antagonists mention it. Those who understand the shape of their soul like Mahito or Sukuna are extremely powerful. Sukuna's soul is stronger than Mahito's so he isn't affected by Mahito's touch, he tells Mahito off for trying to touch is soul and easily hurts Mahito when the curse displeases him.

However Sukuna is stuck in Yuuji. In normal circumstances he can't take over, and if Yuuji stayed protected, unharmed and ignorant to the horrors of the world, aka if his soul didn't get damaged physically or emotionally, and he would've been fed the fingers gradually, he would've been able to keep Sukuna as a prisoner for ever.

In the fanbook, Gege said, that if Yuuji consumed a weaker cursed object than Sukuna's fingers, he'd've likely completely absorbed it. This both shows how potent his soul is and how strong is Sukuna's that he survives a prison like that intact. It's curious whether Yuuji would've started to absorb him too in this scenario where he would've lived a relatively peaceful life just consuming the fingers from time to time.

And what Sukuna says here hints that maybe he would've succumbed. Yuuji's soul is extremely strong. Now, on the outside, Sukuna can try and destroy Yuuji. But if he were still stuck inside? Stuck indefinitely with no prospect of getting out?

Yuuji impresses Sukuna, probably has for a while now but Sukuna did everything not to admit that. But the frustration that is Yuuji to him has bean peeking through. The insults, the condescension, the very poorly performed fake indifference? Being stuck in Yuuji he learned of power, of strength that he likely hadn't considered before. Hadn't truly encountered or seen up close. And he'd been testing the boundaries of Yuuji's strength from the beginning by constantly bullying him. Unsuccessfully.

When Sukuna ponders Higuruma's death and as a result his thoughts stray to Yuuji, it's no accident that he is reminded of Jougo.

It's when we see Sukuna be affected by someone with goals, with ideals. He's been long enough in Yuuji to start to see them as valuable even though he doesn't understand that yet, he doesn't get why he talked with Jougo during the curse's death.

He even genuinely asks Yuuji about this. In his fights he's Usually toothy grins and condescending smirks, in this fight he's also mostly that. But here he stops and asks. He looks pensive, curious.

In chapter 248, in his ruminations on Yuuji, he finally puts it together. And takes it personally, he actually starts caring about something even if that something is killing Yuuji. Yuuji interests him on a personal level, and no one else has.

This next part is very subjective, because it's honestly about how you personally read the panels, and they are small and not very detailed. And the way I see them may be coloured by my shipper bias.

But I think he's shown fondness of Yuuji in their fight after he took over Megumi's body.

To me his face here shows that he's satisfied with Yuuji's answer to his question. Because of how his brows and eyes are drawn, his face feels soft, like this is a smile, not a smirk.

Again the line of his brows is soft. He says it's hilarious but here he doesn't look amused to me, more pleased. So this line and the next one feel like excuses. Like he doesn't want Yuuji to die because he hasn't figured Yuuji out yet, and Sukuna is a huge nerd, he likes to know.

#thank you for the ask #jjk spoilers #jjk leaks #jjk 248 #yuuji itadori #sukuna

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do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas · 1 year

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I just have to wax poetic about the beauty of gentlebeard, particularly why I, as an autistic person, love them so much and project onto them so badly

This might get a little long, so a read more will do

But first off, some fun brief history lesson on autistic relationships in media :). Which sucks most of the time :)))

Ok I'm really not gonna get too much into it cause most of its the same; white autistic man/white allistic woman (The Good Doctor, Adam, etc). There have been steps in more diversity when it comes to this (Jane Wants a Boyfriend and Extraordinary Attorney Woo, a flip on this trope, and Heartbreak High has an actually autistic actress as a main lesbian character) but some of these media aren't being continued anymore (Everything's Gonna Be Okay you will always be missed)

As of right now, the themes of these stories are usually about the disability, teaching allistics and just overall centers around autism itself, which considering how many of these projects aren't led by autistic people, it's shitty repetitive portrayals (The Good Doctor, Atypical, Extraordinary Attorney Woo, As They See Us, blah blah blah blah blah)

But then you got these two pirates.

And let me explain how they pressed all the right buttons for me:

1. Both neurodivergent coded

Stede Bonnet my autistic icon. Just, the way he goes about social interactions and his knowledge about things is so reminiscent of trying to understand social rules and masking and special interests. There's even the little things like his love of books and needing things spelled out to him and when he commented on the textures of the privateer clothing.

And there's definitely a reason loads of people love to read Ed as adhd: his brain thinking of plans ahead in the future, feeling stuck in life, collection of items in a "messy" room, and that fancy French party man. His reading is less overt and more nuanced to me, but I still feel connected to him like I do with Stede, like how I would feel when watching a show about autistic people.

2. Their neurodivergent relationship

I've said before that most relationships we see are with an autistic/allistic. It falls under the "teaching" category and makes me feel like its trying to make a point, like yes, autistic people can have relationships like anyone else and they are lovable enough to neurotypicals!!!1!!1!

So imagine my absolute glee at how when Stede and Ed have their first proper conversation, it goes like

Ed seemingly seeking a sensory touch from the softness of a fabric

Stede instead of judging him on doing something "weird" asks if he enjoys it

And because they find they both enjoy this certain thing

Stede shows him his safe space to Ed full of this same kind of thing Ed liked

Ed then expresses his personal feelings to Stede

And gets no judgment, in fact a show of agreement and sympathy

And then they do something that's like an inside joke that's really only funny to them

And then Ed encourages Stede to be confident by supporting him

This is thee meet-cute, nothing can ever top this cute and honest beginning of a medium-burn relationship, change my mind

Most of what autistics want more than anything, romantic or otherwise, is to feel listened to and accepted. And we get this almost immediately, with BOTH Stede and Ed feeling appreciated!!!!

3. No neurodivergent preaching

When autistic love is shown in media, it's usually never the focal point. The main thing is about the person having the disability - even shows I love and praise for its relationship representation like Extraordinary Attorney Woo and Everything's Gonna Be Okay do the same thing

Ofmd acknowledges issues existing like colonialism, racism and homophobia, yet this show is not about that. The characters are allowed to exist and be themselves and happy without having this fact shoved down their throat every waking second and the villains who keep up the systemic issues get their comeuppance, usually by that person they were hurting.

And I here what you're saying: that neurodivergency is not canon and so doesn't have the direct acknowledgement like the other issues I mentioned... well.

We don't see sexism in ofmd, yet we all understand how Mary wouldn't be able to make the same choices Stede could on leaving their family. We know that the French party were entertained by Ed, not just cause of his stories as Jeff The Accountant.

Stede was bullied in his childhood by his father and classmates for not fitting in, for standing out - yes this obviously reads as homophobia, but many neurodivergents can relate to feeling exactly like this, some i bet almost being in the same situation as Stede is when it comes to things like crying easily and liking to pick flowers

So a moment like Stede playing Stark Revelations, where he gets to make fun of people that were like those in his old life AND being able to defend his one and only friend? That felt pretty damn good to watch myself.

Even without the romance, you still have a show where the two main characters are encouraged to be themselves in every way. This is a far cry from other media where even though they aren't explicitly stated to be neurodivergent, they are generally unlikeable and/or characters around them scold and pressure them to change into something "better" (Sherlock, Big Bang Theory, etc etc). Doesn't change the fact they are read as neurodivergent and thus seen as harmful representation for people who are "similar" to them irl

Meanwhile, Ed and Stede love each other because of who the other is, no narrative about them having to fall in love with the other despite their differences... but because they found something in each other they always wanted to find, and to feel loved in return

And the narrative doesn't preach to you or tries to fix them. Instead it says "this is our main character who happens to be white and middle aged, and this is his love interest who happens to be middle-aged and a Māori man, and this is their love story". And it is so goddamn neurodivergent

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #edward teach #autism #actually autistic #autistic love #autistic relationship #let.me.dream.with.ofmd

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katelynsimpsince2016 · 10 months

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i’m going to bash my head into a wall if i don’t get this all out NOW but something really clicked into place once i finished good omens 2.

i’ve always wondered how dark the show was going to go when it came to it’s critism of Christianity. however,, this season really solidified it for me that they are going to dig deep.

the confession scene between aziraphale and crowley really came across to me as one religiously traumatised person desperately trying to show another deeply religiously traumatised person the flaws in organised religion and how it isn’t everything. that there’s this whole beautiful world outside of being ‘pure’ and ‘holy’. it isn’t worth it. life might be absolutely meaningless and we might be incomprehensibly irrelevant in comparison to this vast universe but at least we have each other. isn’t that enough? aren’t i enough? can we not be each other’s meaning in life?

crowley knows more than anyone how corrupted heaven is. how it chews up and spits out anyone who questions the status quo. crowley asked questions and he lost everything. he fell. as a result,, he had to completely uproot his old identity as an angel and build himself up again. and i think his bravery in just completely bearing his whole self to aziraphale proves how much he’s grown. he isn’t ashamed of his love for aziraphale,, doesn’t view their relationship as the problem but instead the toxic heaven and hell as the issue. he’s okay with leaving behind the system of heaven and hell - of good and evil. he recognises that that kind of black and white thinking doesn’t help anyone. although he may be an outcast for it,, he knows he’ll be alright as long as he has aziraphale by his side. we’ve seen multiple times now that crowley is more than willing to just up and leave earth and give up everything as long as he’s with aziraphale. freedom is not scary to him - it’s something he desperately desires actually. he doesn’t have to rely on god or heaven or even frankly his role as a demon to be confident in himself. the system’s fucked and they’re all alone and only have each other and he’s fine with that. as long as it’s him and aziraphale against the world.

aziraphale,, on the other hand,, has yet to find solace in the loneliness of it just being him and crowley. we see during the story of job flashback that once aziraphale realises he isn’t as angelic as he thought he was,, that he’s only willing to go along with heaven’s plans so far,, he is crushed. the weight of the situation - him losing his picture perfect view of heaven - destroys him. he’s alone. and he hasn’t really moved on from this initial realisation. yes he’s grown in other respects (e.g. he’s a lot braver now when it comes to standing up to heaven and the archangels than he was at the beginning) but he’s still stuck in that moment. this angel is traumatised!! the deal with the metatron is his chance to prove himself in a way. to prove that he isn’t this impure,, traitorous angel. he can fix the system. heaven is actually the answer. it may need a little sprucing up but at it’s core good always triumphs evil. and crowley’s good so he must be deserving of becoming an angel so maybe they can finally be together and their relationship won’t be wrong.

and it’s just this painful justification for aziraphale to return to the place that abused him for so many centuries. self-sabotage at it’s finest. he doesn’t know life outside of being an ‘angel’. it’s an intrinsic part of who he is even though at this point he’s more human than anything else. throughout the series we see him attempt to present as this stereotypical,, fearless angel who smites evil at every turn. during the story of job flashback he attempts to appear as a messenger of god to the humans but they don’t take him seriously. he insists to the archangels that he will shape the antichrist into a good person despite the fact that the whole point is that adam will actually bring about armageddon and they just laugh at him. he wants to be pure and holy so bad!!

this has been bubbling beneath the surface for literal millennium and it’s finally cost him everything. it was always going to get in the way of his and crowley’s relationship. his unresolved trauma has convinced him that his love for crowley is his hamartia. but if he takes this deal maybe,, just maybe,, they can be together. in the holy way of course. crowley will have to give up his personal growth and return to the place that chucked him out like a dog bone just to become a part of the system he’s been fighting against for so long.

to be clear,, i don’t think aziraphale realises this and wouldn’t ever wish for crowley to have to conform but he doesn’t realise that by rejoining heaven that’s literally what they will be doing. heaven is the pinnacle of the status quo - distant and cold with not a sign of love in sight. it’s not the right place for them at all. i think aziraphale is being simultaneously selfless and selfish in choosing to become the archangel supreme: obviously he’s giving up living on earth and more importantly crowley so he can rebuild heaven but he seems to also be doing this to sooth his own self-hatred.

everything ties back to his feelings of inferiority and that he isn’t good enough. no matter how many times crowley screams at him that he’s better than all of heaven and hell combined he’s not going to leave heaven behind until he recognises his own self worth. he loves crowley for defying his destiny as a demon and being a kind person but he can’t seem to love himself for doing the exact same. he needs to find himself before he can truly leave heaven behind along with his faith. and in a way i think aziraphale did a long time ago on that cliff with crowley but ever since then he’s just been trying to convince himself that he still believes in the almighty.

#this isnt a perfect analogy (i think this scene more accurately is social commentary on corrupted systems that can’t be fixed #from the inside like azira wants to #but this scene really spoke to me lol #and also made me want to throw my laptop across the floor #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #go2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #crowley good omens #aziraphale good omens #good omens analysis #good omens meta

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heroes-of-olympus-next-gen · 2 years

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This isn't a baby shower

Events that took place during Annabeth's baby shower.

Annabeth never thought that she would form a friendship with Rachel Elizabeth Dare. At one point in her life, she was her mortal enemy as she had managed to catch Percy’s attention. And for her 15-year-old self that was a crime punishable with death. But for her 27-year-old self, Rachel was one of her closest friend, living in the same city and all that.

“Rachel, I don’t want a baby shower.” Annabeth insisted on the phone.

“It isn’t a baby shower. It’s more like a gathering where we can all give you our gifts for your babies and spend time with you.”

“That’s pretty much the definition of a baby shower last time I checked.”

“Annabeth.” Rachel said in a more serious tone.

“Rachel.” She replied. “I’m 26 weeks pregnant with two babies that enjoy kicking me day and night. A party is the last thing I need right now. I don’t have the energy for it.”

“You’re glowing!” She insisted.

“I don’t feel like it.”

“I’ll take care of everything. I promise. I can invite anyone you want. Consider it my present to you.” Her friend pleaded her.

Annabeth thought about it for a moment. Percy had also subtly mentioned how he wanted to throw a party before their babies came along with family and friends. But he knew how she felt, so he wouldn’t say anything to her. “Fine. We’ll organize a party.”

The gathering was more fun than Annabeth expected. Rachel did as she promised. No cheesy games or dumb décor. Just friends and family all together before Annabeth gave birth. She was in a good mood when deciding who to invite. She even included her father and stepbrothers. Her stepmother didn’t join them as she was ‘sick’ and didn’t want to risk making Annabeth feel ‘unwell’.

Percy was overlooking everyone from afar. He was mostly focused on Annabeth who was laughing over her conversation with Katie and Malcolm. Thalia slid next to him leaning against the wall. He was a bit surprised that she actually managed to come. She had been absent in the past few years, that he didn’t count her in most events anymore. “I’m excited to see you changing a lot of dirty diapers in the near future.” She teased him.

He leaned on the wall next to his friend. “Annabeth and I ARE going to have a hell of a lot of diapers to change. I’m sure you’ll enjoy yourself.”

“If I hear that Annabeth changed a single diaper, you’ll never hear the end of it.” Thalia told him.

“Is this a threat?”

“Yes.” She replied with a threating look.

“Okay.” Percy laughed. “We aren’t going to have an issue. I wasn’t planning on letting Annabeth change diapers. She’ll push them out. I’ll do my part with my parts.”

“Good. I still have a tiny bit of faith in the male gender.” Thalia cleared her throat and looked at his side. Then she did something even more unexpected. She hugged him. “I’m happy for the two of you. You deserve peace. Your kids will be lucky to have you as their father.”

“You think I’ll make a good father?”

“Definitely. You’re a better man than our fathers were. Or will ever be. Which says a lot as they are immortal.” She paused and took a breath. “I know that I never give you any credit, but you’re a great guy. I just want you to show the old fuckers how great fathers are supposed to be.”

Thalia’s expression said it all. They both had a hard time growing up. Thalia a little harder as she wasn’t lucky enough to have a good mortal parent. She had joined the hunt to make sure that she would always feel the rush and be part of a pack. Of a sisterhood. Percy respected her a lot. And her saying, and actually meaning it, that she believed that he would be a great father, meant a lot for him.

He was afraid of becoming a father and bringing life into the world. He was blind. He didn’t have a clue on how he was supposed to raise someone else. He didn’t have a great fatherly figure, someone to imitate or give him advice. His father was stuck being a Greek deity. His ex-stepfather used to beat him up. Kicked and punched him. Abused him verbally and made him feel like a zero. That was how he grew up. And for the longest time he believed what Gabe was saying to him.

But Paul came into his mother’s life and changed his perspective on different points of life. His current stepfather was always praising and supporting him. Although he was sixteen when he married his mother, he never excluded him from the family. Percy felt like Paul was actually proud of him and was the only normal father he had in his life. After telling him and Sally that Annabeth was pregnant, he sat down with him and reassured him that everything would be alright, and that he would be right there for anything he needed. That talk alone reassured Percy that things would work out in the end.

“I will be. But you’re forgetting something.”

“What?”

“My kids will also have a killer aunt.”

“Who’ll always let them know how lame their dad was younger.”

“I wasn’t lame. I was really cool actually.”

“I have evidence that show otherwise.” She stated. She looked over at Annabeth and then back to Percy. “I’ve been thinking of showing up more often. If that’s okay with you and Annabeth.”

“Works just fine with me.” He smiled.

“Don’t look at me like that.” She warned him, her brows scrunching together.

“Like what?”

“You know how you look with that stupid smirk on your face.” She spatted. “You want me to say it? I’ll say it. You and Annabeth are the only family I’ve got left. And I want to be around your kids. Although someday they’ll be older than me.” She slowed down at the last part.

“Does that bother you?”

“Not at all. I’m having the time of my life in the hunt. I love the rush and the feeling of being infinite.”

“There was a time when you were older than me.” He grinned at the thought of it.

“I hope your kids don’t get the sense of humour you think you have.” She rolled her eyes at him.

#percy and annabeth #hoo #pjo #pjo next gen #percy jackson #percy jackson headcannons #percabeth #percababies #annabeth chase #percy jackson fic #percy pjo #percabeth babies #percabeth family #percabeth fanfic

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bellmo15-blog · 25 days

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The OTHER Plugsuited Demon Beauty.

Oh boy, this is going to be an interesting one to talk about.

It's hardly a secret at this point but Devil May Cry 2 is widely agreed upon, when people aren't busy ragging on the 2013 reboot that is, to be the worst game in the series. And there's plenty of good and valid reasons for that. Aside from the obvious stuff that people love to meme on anyway like how over powered the guns are or that one of the bosses is literally a tank there's stuff like how the games story isn't explained very well, Dante had all the personality and charisma that made him so likable sucked out of him, the game's world looking bland and lifeless compared to the first games setting which still looks wonderful even today, the only other melee weapons you can get are just reskins of your starting one with only very minor differences and how pretty much every problem this game has could of been avoided if Capcom didn't force a completely different team who had never worked on an action game before to make it in only 2 years. And people act like publishers treating there devs like shit is a new thing this generation...

Even with all the shit DMC 2 does wrong and rightfully get's crap for there is one aspect from it I actually really do like and it might surprise you to hear what it is. Lucia. I actually kind of really like her. Not so much her gameplay because it has the same issues as Dante's gameplay and I'd argue is even worse because she has several awful underwater sections, but more just everything else about her.

Her design for one thing I really like especially since her Devil Trigger makes her look like a Mega Absol but also her story two a little. She learns during her campaign that she's actually a defective demon created by the games main villain Arius and the rest of her story she's having one big existential crisis due to a fear she's going to lose control of herself and become a monster killing everyone which for as wired as this sounds is actually kind of relatable. Because let's be completely honest here, how many of you people have learnt something about yourself that you have no idea how to react to or how to process and spend a good while worrying about it? Hell, I didn't even know I was autistic or what the concept of Autism even was until I was 14 years old and you bet I spent several days not knowing how to even process that at first. Not to mention the several years I was worried I'd grow up to be an angry and bitter man because of how my own farther had anger issues himself. I mean sure, maybe Lucia's story could of been handled a lot better in game and fleshed out a lot more but it is because of the likely un-intended relatability that does actually make me like her a bit.

Which brings me to the whole reason I decided to get her in Rei's White Plugsuit in the first place. Aside for the colour matching Lucia's original design I mean. I mentioned in the Trish Plugsuit pic ChaosCroc did for me that the whole reason I was motivated to get that was because of how Trish being a demon created in the image of Dante's mother Eve was very similar to how Rei in Evangelion was created as a clone of Shinji's mother. Only there are multiple Rei's in Evangelion in the event that one happens to die. Just like how there are technically multiple Lucia's and the one we follow in Dee Em Cee Too is a defect. And that justification pretty much speaks for itself! Lucia had some similarities to Rei and it inspired me. And I'm happy to have gotten this pic. Especially since over the years I've actually wanted Lucia to show up again in new game a little because it sucks that she's stuck in the worst game in the series and anything past that she DOES show up in is in supplementary material we might never get outside of Japan.

Artist is AmeerAshourDraws. Also fun fact, the design of his Ashour Drones was slightly inspired by Plugsuits which is peak!

#Devil May Cry #Lucia #Plugsuit #Evangelion

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starcrossedxwriter · 1 year

Text

Built for Love Part 3 (MBJ x Black Famous OC)

Warnings: angst, emotional distress (there will be more explicit warnings on the next chapter and beyond!)

A/N: I don't know what to say here except this is 4k words of our favs in a mopey sad phase lol

“Anything else for me, T?” Charlotte asked her agent as they sat in her office and reviewed her schedule for the upcoming months. Charlotte was finally back home in LA after filming Creed and a guest spot on a tv show, and was looking forward to a couple months of quiet before the Creed press tour. If she could push that off further, she would.

Her nails tapped lightly on her phone as she texted her brothers, the siblings coordinating their surprise visit for their dad’s birthday later that week.

“Just the MGM Productions Gala in two weeks,” Tamika answered as she scrolled through her calendar.

Charlotte wrinkled her nose in confusion. “What’s that?”

She waved her head. “Nothing big. Just a gala and party MGM throws for their Q3 and 4 movies. All the actors, producers, and writers are invited. They’ll premiere the trailer for Creed so you’ll walk the carpet with Michael, takes some pictures and likely go on stage when the trailer is shown. Seating chart has you and Michael next to each other. Nothing special but should be an easy and fun night.”

Charlotte’s heart fell into her stomach as she heard his name, a nauseating feeling consuming her. The gala sounded like torture. How could she spend an entire evening glued to his side when he likely hated her? Would he even want to speak to her? she would not want to speak to her if she were him and now, he would have no choice.

However, she knew those concerns could not make their way to her agent. So instead, she simply nodded. However, she could not stop the quiet question that fell off her tongue, her own desires to know if Michael had raised an issue about the event were too powerful.

“H-Has Michael heard about this?” She coughed lightly. “You know, reviewed the seating chart and everything?”

Tamika nodded slowly, her eyes slowly but surely taking in the anxious and concerned look on the young woman’s face.

“Yea… been emailing with his guy all morning. He said Mike ok’ed everything. Why? What’s wrong?” At Charlotte’s silence and anxious fidgeting, Tamika sat up in her chair, her arms folded against the cool glass of her desk. “Anything happen between you two that I should know about? Something that could bite us in the ass later.”

Charlotte immediately shook her head. “No, no of course not. We’re good.”

She knew that was not the truth. Radio silence for months hardly equated to good. She had considered reaching out to him, her regret urging her to open their text thread and type out a message only for her guilt to cause her to delete it once more. A vicious cycle she had been stuck on for weeks after the wrap party. At first, she felt his absence like a gaping wound that would not heal. It ached and throbbed so persistently she could not dare forget it.

But in true Charlotte fashion, she threw herself into her work and her next project. It was just two months but the late nights and early mornings of tv consumed her life and energy, leaving little to no time to pine after Michael. And so eventually, that wound seemed to heal. Until today. Today, she felt as if she was bleeding out again with nothing around to stop it.

Tamika rolled her eyes before turning back to her computer. Charlotte could tell she did not believe her. However, she appreciated that she did not push her for an answer.

“Ok well… whatever’s not going on between you two, fix it before October. You’re gonna be spending a lot of time with him to promote the film and films sell better when the cast actually likes each other. Got it?”

“Understood.”

****

Rambunctious laughter filled Michael’s basement as he and his boys gathered for their monthly poker game. Even though he always lost money, it was one of his favorite nights. Just a night when he wasn’t famous or an actor, he was just a guy unwinding with liquor, weed, and good conversation.

“Nigga… you’d think you’d be better at this shit by now,” Steelo called across the table to Michael who merely shook his head.

“I know, I know. I’m tryin’. Ain’t my night, I guess.”

“Nah you ain’t doing shit. This the worst you’ve played and you the worst poker player a nigga has ever seen. It’s embarrassin’,” his trainer and friend, Calliet, told him. “Somethin’s got you preoccupied. Tell us so we can get on with the night.”

Michael scratched the back of his head. Was there anything he could say that did not make him look like a desperate love sick puppy to his boys? Because the only thing consuming his attention these days was one person he had not even spoken to or seen in months: Charlotte. He tried and tried to push her out of his mind by fucking his way through models and actresses, hoping someone would make him feel even an ounce of what he felt when he was by her side. But none of them held a torch to her. So he tried to avoid thinking about her at all costs, locking his emotions away in a cage for as long as possible. However, when he found out about their upcoming event, the bars on that cage had gotten more fragile with each passing day.

“Anything to do with seeing Charlotte in a couple weeks?” His brother asked with a smirk on his face.

Everyone around the table laughed at how Michael’s entire being shifted as soon as her name was mention.

“Ahhh there we go. It’s a woman… it’s always a damn woman,” Calliet sighed deeply. “What happened?”

Michael tossed his cards face down on the table, his hand rubbing his eye for a moment before he shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know? And that’s what’s tripping me up. One minute she seemed like she was all in a-and wanted to be with me. And the next, she pushed me away. Said she didn’t deserve me… whatever the hell that means.” Michael paused. “I dunno. It was fuckin’ weird. She seemed almost scared? Or like the idea of dating me had her in a panic.”

He tried hard not to think about that night even though it often played in a loop in his head. It played so clearly in his mind like it was a movie. He could still see the tears in her eyes a-and the tension in her body, and hear the brokenness and panic in her voice. Despite his efforts to push it out of his mind, it persisted and he dissected and analyzed it ever since.

Michael stood up and went to the bar in his basement, pouring himself another glass of scotch. He leaned over the back of his chair, watching the men continue to play. He knew there was no point in him continuing the game. That was just a recipe for him to make himself poorer while his friends got rich of his terrible poker game.

“Sounds like she’s playin’ you bro,” Michael’s brother chimed in.

“Yep. And honestly, that shit sounds like too much baggage,” Steelo interjected. “You aint got time for that. She might be great but there’re plenty of women out here to fuck and date. No sense in being sad over one of ‘em.”

The other men except for Calliet and Ryan chimed in with their agreement, though that did not surprise Michael. The rest of his friends were in the same place in life in terms of relationships: single and doing them. Their lives were all about the hustle, which meant love and relationships took a backseat. And he would admit, he was like them before he met Charlotte. However, she made him want more. And though there may be more fish in the sea, there was none like her. And he did not see a future as clearly with anyone else as he did with Charlotte. He knew that for certain.

Calliet let out a low chuckle. “No wonder y’all niggas is single. “As the only married niggas here, you want our advice?” He gestured at he and Ryan. At Michael’s nods, he placed his cards down. “If you want her, you gotta fight for her. It seems to me like she’s scared - for whatever reason. Maybe you just be there for her and see if she comes around.”

“You want him to wait around for some pussy?? Nahhhh,” his boy Tyrell threw his cards down in annoyance. “He can do better than that.”

“Aye, watch yo fuckin’ mouth,” Michael’s tone cut the humorous vibe in the room immediately, his anger evident to everyone.

Tyrell raising his hands in surrender as the other men snickered quietly. “My bad. No disrespect. I’m just sayin’ you got plenty of options, bro. She really worth chasin’ after?”

“You told me day 1 she was your future wife, on screen and off. I got the texts to prove it,” Ryan waved his phone in his hand. “If you really believe that shit, then she’s someone worth chasin’. ’N I don’t know what’s holding her back but I watched y’all every day for months. She’s feelin’ you.”

“Then why won’t she just say that shit?” Steelo argued.

Michael just watched the men debate back and forth, his love life once again the subject of a riveting debate amongst his friends. He could not even get a word in.

“Who the fuck knows? But it doesn’t matter. She didn’t say that she doesn’t wanna fuck with you. She said she aint deserve you. That sounds like two very different things to me. Seems like somethin’ she’s gotta work through, not that she doesn’t want something with you. I ain’t sayin’ put your life on hold but you ain’t gotta close the door on it just yet if you ain’t ready. Just talk to her.”

“I dunno,” Michael finally spoke up. “Hearing no once was more than enough for me. I never felt for a woman like I feel for her. And she just pushed me away.”

“Look. I ain’t saying chase the girl. But you don't gotta close the door on it either just because your pride is bruised,” Calliet added on, he and Ryan offering the sage advice Michael truly needed to navigate this situation. “At the very least, next time you talk, time as passed, you could get some clarity on why she wasn’t ready and if the feelings were mutual. Get some closure. But who knows, it might be a yes. And if she was worth the risk then and those feelings haven’t changed, she should still be worth it now. Then at least, you’ll have a definitive answer and you can stop being this mopey-ass nigga who I can’t stand. Moping around the gym n shit.”

Michael bowed his head and laughed with the rest of the group. They were not wrong; he had been “mopey” since returning to LA from Creed but it had gotten significantly worse since he found out he would be seeing Charlotte earlier than expected.

“Aight aight. I’ll think about it."

“My man!” The boys seated around him clapped him on the back.

“Hit me up tomorrow, fellas," Stello called out across the table. "I'm taking bets on whether this nigga actually tries again." At Michael's surprised expression, Stello merely laughed. "Sorry man, I've never known you to chase after a woman or even give them a second chance. Relationships are the one area you play it safe."

His words stuck with him as he slid back into his seat to continue playing. His streak of terrible luck continued as he milled over what his friends said. Steelo was not wrong, there was a part of him that wanted to write Charlotte off for pushing him away. But something stopped him every time he tried. He could not tell who was right: his married friends who told him to not give up or his friends who had known him his entire life. But he knew he only had a week to figure out what path he wanted to take. One certainly saved him potential heartache but it could also rob him of a love that was one of a kind. The other was a risk but a life with Charlotte was a pay off he could not pass up without thought. As Steelo pointed out, Michael took a lot of risks… just not with his heart.

***

“You sure you’re good, squirt?” Her dad asked as they chatted at dinner.

Charlotte glanced up from her plate, her entire family eyeing her with concerned looks.

“Of course, of course,” she assured everyone, immediately fixing her frown into a half-hearted smile. She hoped it was big enough to draw attention away from her and onto someone else.

“You sure? You’ve just been quiet all weekend.”

She rubbed her eyes, annoyance settling in her as her family questioned her words. She understood why. There was once upon a time where she told lie after lie after lie to hide how she was doing. And now, if she seemed even a bit off, they did not believe her assurances that all was well even when it was. She would not believe her if she was them either though.

“Just tired, dad. Two back-to-back projects has just been more exhausting than I thought. That’s all.”

“Yea pops, you know how Charlie gets when she’s in the zone. All quiet and moody with all that method shit.”

The table erupted in laughter, Charlie reaching over and gently hit her brother, Jackson, across his arm. While there was a significant age gap between her, the youngest, and her two eldest siblings, she and Jackson were only a year apart and had grown up virtually glued to each other’s hip.

“Jack! Language!” Their dad chastised him, though there was no real bite in his bark.

“Thank you, dad!” Charlotte, forever a daddy’s girl, threw her brother a smirk. “And method, yes! Moody, never!”

At her side glances her entire family shared with each other, her jaw slightly fell open in shock.

“Seriously??”

“In your defense,” her eldest brother, CJ, interjected. “I think it’s more so the characters you choose. Loners… moody…or depressed. And that just ain’t you, not when you’re yourself at least.”

Charlotte could not particularly disagree with her brother’s assessment. It was not every character she had played since she became a professional actress. But she could not deny there was a theme across many of them. She had been drawn to characters who were alone in the world in some way: whether literally alone and without family or alone to contend with pain and struggles no one else knew about or could help with. They were all internally tortured by something. And well, that was a feeling Charlotte knew all too well.

“So what’s next, movie star?” CJ asked her.

She shrugged. “Ummm got a gala next week a-and then I’ll be back in LA for a while. Then we’ll have the Creed press tour and that’ll take up most of the fall.” At the mention of the movie, her thoughts drifted back to him. Though it did not take much these days for her thoughts to land her on his doorstep again. All roads led back to Michael. “B-but that’s it. Enough about me. We are here to celebrate dad.” She squeezed his hand, grateful to push the attention away from her and back to their father’s birthday.

She barely heard the rest of the conversation that carried her family through dinner, only joining in when spoken to or to laugh along with the rest of the group. Her moodiness, as of late, had little to do with her characters and a lot to do with her impending dread at laying eyes on a certain actor again. She knew she would have to eventually but she thought she had more time to avoid him and her feelings about how they ended. That wound was reopened and all of her regret, shame, and pain flowed from it like blood.

She knew she needed to let him go. She had given up her shot and she would need to find a way to live with that. But knowing she needed to move on and actually doing it was harder than it seemed.

However, it was her dad’s birthday and she knew her family worried about her too much so she tried to force herself to display the cheerful and upbeat disposition she knew her family was looking for. However, at the end of dinner, when she and her siblings and their spouses retreated to the basement, her facade started to fall.

“Open the windows, CJ,” Charlotte called over to him as he pulled a joint out of his bag and she grabbed liquor from their dad’s bar. “Dad’s gonna kill us if he smells weed.”

“Us maybe,” Jackson mused. “But not his baby girl. He probably thinks you’ve never done drugs. His perfect little Charlie.”

“Don’t be jealous,” she stuck her tongue out at him playfully.

“She drew the genetic lottery… Youngest daughter? Best position to be in in the family. You got all us, except Tiffany,” he referenced the eldest Bennet sibling who could not attend their dad’s birthday weekend, “wrapped around your finger since birth.”

She laughed and flopped onto the couch next to her best friend from college and sister in law, Lauren. “What can I say,” she took the joint from her brother. “A gift and a curse.”

Charlotte fell silent as she let the two couples guided the conversation. She rarely engaged, only laughing when necessary or moving to ensure the blunt made its rounds throughout the group. CJ and his husband, Allen, were both attorneys, which meant they tended to stir up lively debate amongst the group. Charlotte rarely engaged in their debates unless the topic was interesting. But Jackson and his wife, Lauren, while not attorneys, loved to go back and forth with them.

So, she just let them fall into their usual banter while she tried to stop herself from falling into a sea of thoughts about Michael. All she could think about was what she was going to say and do when she saw him again. Should she apologize? Pretend like nothing happened and act like old friends? Take her cues from him? She had no idea. All of them sounded like equally terrible ideas and none of them were actually what she wanted to do, which was admit she fucked up and that she loved him. But that seemed like a terrible idea in its own twisted sort of way.

“Charlie!” Lauren shook her knee lightly to get her attention. Charlotte broke out of her quiet trance to turn to Jackson who had clearly been talking to her.

“Now don’t hate me, C,” he started to say, causing Charlotte to immediately groan. She sat up a little straighter, her mind already ready to be annoyed with her older, meddling brother.

“Oh no, what did you do??”

“I may or may not have given your number to a guy at the office. AND,” he raised his voice to drown out Charlotte’s immediate protests, “Before you say no, it is one date, C. He is really cute, he’s a sports agent, really well established in the industry, and he’s sweet. Don’t fight me on this.”

Charlotte rolled her eyes, frustration at her sibling’ meddling already boiling over. She immediately turned to Lauren, who raised her hands in surrender. “Did you know about this??”

“I told him you weren’t gonna go for it.”

“And yet… here he is… still presenting it.” She scoffed. “You need to listen to your wife more, big head. I don’t need a fucking matchmaker, Jay. I’m good and happy being single.”

She prayed her tone sounded decisive and sure; however, she knew it betrayed her by the skeptical looks on her family’s faces. She desperately wanted it to be true, desperately desired to be satisfied with the waves of loneliness she felt. She used to consider loneliness to be like an oasis. She felt protected and safe in its waters. It’s waves crashed but she welcomed it because loneliness was the only sure sign that no one was around to hurt her again.

However, now, she felt as if she was drowning in it. Drowning in the frigid, dark waters, desperate for a lifeline and helping hand, someone to pull her out and hold her close. She tried to pull herself out of it, to find her way back to the oasis again, but each wave just pushed her right back down. And she knew one path to escape the waves altogether, but she could not force herself to do it. She was still not sure she was ready.

“Well now we’re fuckin’ lyin’,” CJ muttered, causing Allen to gently hit him on the shoulder and tell him to hush. “What? She is lyin’.”

“Alright, alright,” Lauren interrupted. “I think your brothers… and I, are just worried about you. It’s been two years. It’s great to be single and happy if you truly are. But I’ve known you for a minute, Charlotte. I don’t think you are. You don’t want to be alone forever, do you? What happens when the next guy shows interest? Are you just gonna push him and anyone else away forever? You fought like hell to leave so you could be happy. Pushing people and love away isn’t gonna make you happy.”

Charlotte scoffed at herself, a wave of bitterness hitting her. She hated how Lauren was always right, a habit that incensed her since college. She was not wrong. That was all Charlotte knew how to do, push men who wanted her away, even when she wanted them back.

“It’s all I know how to do,” she muttered, unable to hide that bitterness and anger at herself in her voice.

She glanced up at the ceiling as she felt tears sting the back of her eyes.

“Fuck!” She cried out. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she whispered. She pressed her hands into her eyes to stop the tears from falling. Her family knew she hated to cry in front of people, hated when they saw her cry.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Jackson moved from his perch across the room to sit on the other side of his sister, his arm wrapping tightly around her. “My bad, C. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want you to be happy.”

“No, no. It’s not you o-or the date. I j-just hate this! Hate that I found someone amazing and I’m so fucked up, all I can do is push him away. And I t-thought it was for the right reasons but fuck, I am just miserable without him,” she cried out, finally voicing the feelings that plagued her for months. She had not meant to share that with her family or anyone. But in this heightened emotional state, she could not hold it in any longer.

“Wait, you met someone??” Lauren’s eyes grew wide, an air of excitement settling over her. “Who was he??”

Charlotte’s eyes fell down to her cup. She was not ready to have this conversation. She had never told her friends or family about the feelings between she and Michael, or that she rejected him. She knew none of them would understand. She knew they would merely hear that she turned down THE Michael B. Jordan and think she was a lunatic. But she also knew she would not get an ounce of peace if she did not tell them now. The cat was most certainly out of the bag.

“Michael…”

“Wait - Michael B Jordan?? Wallace from the Wire??”

“Your co-star, THE Michael B Jordan??”

“Oh shit, y’all hooked up??”

Charlotte let out a disgruntled groan as the room erupted in shock, exactly what she was trying to avoid.

“No, no. We didn’t hook up. But we got close during filming, spent a lot of time together. We kissed a-and at our wrap party, he told me he loved me. And I… fuck, it was like Shaun was right there, like I could still feel him and h-hear his voice reminding me that no one could ever love me.” Her head fell into her hands. “And I… couldn’t take it. So I pushed him away.” She wiped a stray tear from her face. “I dunno. Guess somethings never change. I’ll always be that girl he said I was.”

“You always underestimating yourself, Charlotte.” Jackson shook his head. “You are a far cry from the woman who moved into my spot two years ago. That woman could barely fuckin’ look me or - shit - anyone in the eye. You didn’t get out of bed, you barely ate… for months, you were a shell of the woman we knew. And then you put in the work, you found you again. You’re healing and yea that shit takes time. But it’s progress. The Charlotte who was with Shaun and this Charlotte today are two different people. You gotta start celebrating every step forward.”

“He’s right. And maybe this is the next step in your process. Finally taking a step back into the dating pool. You know the signs, you know what to look for now. You just have to trust your gut,” Allen offered her with an encouraging smile.

“It’s not that easy, y’all. He… broke me,” her voice fell to a soft whisper. “And I just barely put the pieces back together. And Bakari is… perfect,” the word came out in a strangled sigh. “B-But if he… if he breaks me, I… just don’t think my heart can handle it again.”

“Do you honestly believe Michael is like him?”

She immediately shook her head. She would not claim to know Michael that well. But he was nothing like that Shaun, that much she knew.

“I think he is the furthest thing from Shaun ever honestly. I just don’t think he’d ever do the things Shaun did.” And she truly believed that. Over a year in therapy taught her every sign she missed and when she meticulously examined her interactions with Michael, she did not see a single one with him.

“OK then. He might hurt you, that’s true. He might break your heart. But that’s fucking life… that’s love. But if your gut is saying he isn’t Shaun then, at least, you can take the plunge knowing he won’t hurt you like that. He won’t break you.”

“You gotta stop letting him win, Charlie.”

She shook her head. “He already won, Lo. Game’s been over. Probably what keeps him warm at night. Where ever he is, he knows he got what he wanted all the same.”

“No.” Lauren answered defiantly, refusing to listen to her best friend’s defeatist attitude. “If the game was over, you’d be dead. That’s the endgame for him.” The tension in the room thickened as Lauren spoke, the words were harsh but Charlotte knew they were true. “And you aren’t. You’re here and you’re fucking killing it. Every day, you win by just living your life, being you and loving. Everything he took from you or said you couldn’t have and didn’t deserve? Those are his words, his lies. And every time you believe him over the people who actually love you,” she gestured to their little circle. “And what you know to be true about yourself, you give him power and he keeps taking pieces of you. Keep doing that and you’ll never be happy and you’ll never be free. Then he will win.”

She glanced at Jackson who merely shrugged. “You and I both know she’s always right.”

Charlotte let out a pitiful laugh. “I know and I fuckin’ hate it.” She sighed deeply. “I just… even if I deserved him, it’s too late. I have to see him next week a-and h-he probably never wants to talk to me again.”

“That asshole stole so many good things from you, Charlie. And if there is anyone in this damn family who deserves a good thing, it’s you. If Michael is really what you want, then don’t let him take that too. When you see him next week, shoot your shot. See what happens.”

“And if that nigga ain’t interested anymore… fuck him,” CJ called from across the room, everyone rolling their eyes at his bluntness but nodding in agreement.

“And you move on.” Lauren added more tactfully. She rubbed Charlotte’s knee gently. “But stop torturing yourself and all of us and just try, sis. Please.”

Charlotte tearfully laughed, wiping her eyes.

“I really hate you guys,” she whispered, tearfully laughing as she wiped her eyes.

“We know.”

Charlotte’s head gently fell onto her brother’s shoulder as he placed a quick kiss on the top of her head before transitioning the conversation to a lighter topic. She sighed to herself.

Shoot your shot.

Sounded easy enough. But where Michael was concerned, Charlotte had only played the coward, too scared to face her true feelings and his. This would require her to play a role she had not in a long time, one that she feared she had forgotten entirely: someone who was fearless. While she did not know if she had it in her, her family did. And their faith and confidence in her was enough to overcome her self-doubt. When she saw Michael next weekend, she was going to choose happiness. She was going to choose him.

Tag List: @certifiedlesbianbaddie @bangtanxmegan @reelwriter19 @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @msniaimani @hi888888sworld @lynaye1993 @destinio1 @cawi00

Read Part 4

A/N: Ok sorry for no scenes with Els/Bakari together this chapter but for my own sanity, I had to break it up into two chapters lol we will get our Els/Bakari reunion in chapter 4. We got a little bit more of Charlotte's backstory and got to meet her family who will be around… what do we think? How is "shooting her shot" gonna go? Is Michael gonna be receptive or are his feelings still too hurt from rejection? And do you think she actually follows through this time?

#black writers #black panther #mbjedit #michael b jordan x reader #michael b jordan smut #mbjordanedit #michael b jordan #Michael b Jordan x oc #creed iii #adonis creed #creed 3

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lookismaddict · 2 years

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Lookism: Rendezvous 🔞 (Ch. I) || Gun Park x Fem! Reader ♡

Author’s Note: Hi, I hope everyone is doing ok! If you’re reading this right after the Intro, I’m so sorry that I wrote such a long part for just an introduction to the story. I just wanted to provide the MC’s backstory so that it’ll help you guys understand where the story is going. But I do hope that you guys enjoyed the Introduction, and I hope you’ll like Ch. I as well!

NSFW Warning: Violence, strong language/cursing, and light sexual content (?).

Story Summary: You traveled abroad to help support your mother who is sick, back home in Japan. However, once you reached Korea, everything went downhill until you met a stranger who offered you a deal that could benefit you. But who knew that this special encounter would turn your whole life around…

“I’m sorry… what was that? You want me to be your what?”

Gun leaned against the wall that was next to him then lit his cigarette once more. “I said that I’ll turn you into one of my greatest masterpieces. You got potential to be a great fighter. If you get proper training from me, then I’ll make sure that you’ll develop into a pure unstoppable force.”

You crossed your arms while you scoffed to the side. “What? So… what are you implying? That I LIKED fighting? Haha sorry to burst your bubble, but I only did that by chance just to survive. Hell, that was actually the first fight I had. I’ve never fought in my life. I’m not a thug.”

Goo crossed his arms sternly. “Sooo… you mean to say that you’ve been a pacifist until now? I don’t believe that one bit sweetheart. You better be honest with us now or else I’ll have to find out through my OWN way.”

You took a step back wearily while holding both of your hands out in front of you towards Goo, trying to stop him from coming any closer to you. “I swear! Why would I even lie about that? Besides now I have another problem. I don’t know where the hell I’m at right now. I just lost everything that I had. And plus, I have nowhere to go, and now I’m stuck with you two lunatics!”

Goo was just nodding while listening to you rant away. On the other hand, Gun’s face remained expressionless. His mind was wandering somewhere else, trying to put the pieces together in his head. Like he was trying to calculate some sort of big equation. “Hey.”

You stopped blabbering your issues to Goo as the both of you turned to Gun who seemed to finally get what’s going on. “You weren’t a fighter from the beginning. Yet, you somehow knew how to fight. So, if you didn’t have prior knowledge about fighting, then you must’ve gotten them from somewhere. Have you been exposed to someone doing some type of martial arts training recently, or have you watched some type of show or documentary on it?”

You thought about it for a minute until you realized…

Yes, I have.

“Ah, well… Back in my hometown, I used to work part-time at a small karate school. My job there was to just bring materials during class. Like wooden boards, and planks, and all that. I didn’t really get to participate physically, but I always watched the students being taught by the head master. I’ve always found it really fun just to be there, and watch how karate was taught by professionals.”

“Then that’s all I needed to know.” Gun smirked, making his way back towards the exit of the alleyway until he paused at his tracks. “Oh I almost forgot to ask.” Suddenly, he turned his head back towards you. His gaze was so sharp that it pierced right through your whole body, which sent shivers down your spine.

“What’s your name?”

Your eyes, barely hanging onto his gaze, didn’t blink once. “It’s (F/N) Sasaki.”

“I see.” He turned his back towards you once more before continuing to exit out of the alley. “Come on, I’ll drop off Goo first before I figure out what to do with you.”

Goo raised an eyebrow. His eyes switched from Gun, to you, then back to Gun again before chasing after him. “Hey, wait up! What was that just now, you checking her out or what?” You heard his laughs bounce off the walls around you, as you stood there still trying to process what just happened.

What’s going to happen to me now?

You sighed as you willingly followed both of them out of the alley. It’s not like you had a choice to go with them anyways. When the streets were finally in view, you saw Gun and Goo both hop into the front seats of a black expensive Rolls Royce car parked on the other side of the street. You looked both ways before crossing the street, heading over to where they were at.

You got in the backseat of the car, shutting the door behind you. You buckled up and let Gun take the wheel to drive to Goo’s supposed destination. You leaned against the side of the car door next to you, staring at the street lights passing by. At the same time, you listened in on Gun and Goo’s conversation as they exchanged words in hushed voices.

“Gun, what made you decide on taking her under your care? I’m guessing it wasn’t just because you think that she’s a good fighter. Right?”

“Well, think about it. She said that she’s been watching people do karate for a while. We don’t know how long she’s been doing it for, but we now know where she got her new skills from.”

“And? What does that have to do with your verdict?”

“You’re not thinking any harder dumbass.”

“Hm…” From the right side-view mirror, you watched Goo close his eyes. He was pinching his own chin in between his two fingers, trying to concentrate.

The car filled with a long minute of silence until his eyes shot open like a light bulb just lit up above his head. He then turned to Gun with a mischievous smirk saying, “Ohhh, I get it now. She reminds you of Daniel Park, huh?”

Gun’s mouth curved devilishly, returning a smirk back to Goo’s realization. “That’s right.” His eyes seemed focused on the road in front of him, but his mind was somewhere else. Both of his hands were steady and firm on the wheel, like he just had a clear goal in mind and now he is willing to fulfill it no matter what.

Daniel Park? Who’s that?

“I did confirm that Daniel had the Copy Ability, like Johan Seong, the Copy Genius. Both of them would have turned into monsters if they were to have accepted my offer, but no matter. At least now, I have a secret weapon in my grasp. I got lucky this time.”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. What are you saying? I was the one who found her first. She’ll be besties with me in no time. Right, (Y/N)?”

You jumped in your seat and quickly pulled your eyes away from the two of them, pretending that you just didn’t get caught listening in on them. Your eyes became so focused on the window, staring intently at the plain street lamps above you while the car drove by.

Crap. I wished I accidentally fell asleep in the car instead of eavesdropping on them like this.

Goo chuckled to himself knowing that he had been watching your movements ever since you got in the car, from the side-view mirror on his side.

As the expensive luxury car sped through the night, your eyes started to close little by little, drifting off to a long and lulled slu-

“We’re here.”

Not this time Satan.

Thank god, you were alarmed by Gun’s call. While you were rubbing your eyes to cease the sleepiness, you looked out the window until your jaw dropped. You couldn’t believe your eyes as they trailed up towards the top of a very large building. Large letters that said, “One MCN,” stood at the front of the building’s entrance. You wondered what type of company owns the building in front of you and what business does Goo have to be going to such a place.

Goo stretched in his seat then whipped around to turn to you. “(Y/N), have you thought about what we talked about?”

Is he talking about the “secret friend” thing?

You slowly nodded. Goo smirked and leaned in closer to you while clinging onto his seat. “So what will your answer be? Will you accept?”

You thought about it for a second, but you already know what the right answer would be.

You leaned in closer to him then whispered into his ear…

“No.”

Goo clicked his tongue with slight annoyance. “Ah, so that’s your response huh? What a shame. I hope you won’t regret it later on in the future.” He gave an ominous smile to you before turning back to Gun. “Well I’ll see you whenever, regardless of what comes up in my schedule. I’ll be looking forward to what you have in store for (Y/N).”

Gun clenched the steering wheel in annoyance that you could’ve sworn that you saw the veins from his hands popping from high blood pressure. “Yeah, yeah, just get out of my car already. And remember, you owe me next time. I already repaid you just by being your driver for today. You know how much I hate being in Gangnam.”

Goo grinned at Gun while slamming the door right in front of him, silencing Gun’s nagging. “That bastard.” Gun muttered under his breath. As he switched the car’s gear stick to drive, he hit the gas and sped away. Startled, you turned your head around and watched Goo’s figure getting smaller and smaller as he stood in front of the building’s entrance waving goodbye at you. Your heart was still palpitating quickly from Gun’s acceleration, but you swore that you caught a glimpse of Goo’s eyes for a split second. His eyes gave off such an uneasy vibe that you didn’t stare at him for too long, so you turned back towards the front of the car.

What did he mean when he said that I might regret my decision in the future? Was that an actual threat from him?

The thought of crossing him again made your palms sweat nervously. Well now, at least you don’t have to deal with two intimidating men. Now it’s just down to one. Although you were relieved to see Goo go, Gun’s presence still made you a bit uneasy.

However, just watching him drive seemed to have calmed you since your eyes have been scanning him for a while. You checked out his face from the backseat through the rear view mirror, looking as sharp as ever. Since you were closer to him now than when you guys were outside, you can smell a whiff of his musky cologne that must’ve been expensive. Your eyes moved to his broad shoulders and his muscular build underneath the multiple layers of clothing he had on was visible, which surprised you. This made you wonder how strong could this man be if he were to remove each layer, piece by piece…

“Have you eaten yet?”

“No, I hav- . . . Eh?”

Your words seemed to have gotten stuck in your throat until you realized that those words that he just spoke weren’t in Korean. They were in Japanese.

(Now speaking in Japanese)

“EHHH?! Did you just speak to me in Japanese???”

“Yeah, why are you so surprised?”

“Well, I didn’t know that you’d actually speak in Japanese. You caught me off guard! But wait a minute. How did you know I was Japanese?”

“You told me your name, remember? Your family name is obviously Japanese. Plus, no Korean woman who’s a local around here would be at that place where we found you, at this time of night. Unless, you’re a prostitute…”

Your cheeks flushed in deep scarlet, making you cross your arms and looked away in embarrassment. “A PROSTITUTE?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! No way! And even if I was a prostitute, what kind of prostitute would beat up her own customers?”

Gun flinched from the loud tone of your voice just now. Afterwards, he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly while his hands were still on the steering wheel. “Alright woman, I get it! You didn’t have to be so loud. But I don’t know, you tell me.”

You were so furious that you were about to retort back at him, until you were reminded of your belongings still back at that shady bar. “We need to go back...”

“What?”

“I said, we need to go BACK! That asshole still has my luggage bag!”

“What asshole? The hell are you on about?”

At this point, you gave a brief summary of what happened, to Gun. You explained what started the fight you had with one of the two maniacs in the first place and what your first experience was like when you first arrived in Seoul.

Gun suddenly hit the brakes in the middle of an empty street. Good thing there weren’t any cars around during this time. His head turned around to look at you, with such intensity. You weren’t sure if it was due to irritability from having to go back and get your stuff, or anger from the assholes who happened to manage to pull something off like that. At that moment, you didn’t want to question him any further.

“Where’s the place at?”

You tried recalling what the bar was called from your memories until you remembered, “Venus’s Paradise.”

Gun stepped on the gas, as he made a sharp U-turn back towards the place where you first arrived in Gangnam. The U-turn was so sharp, that you could feel the force from the acceleration weigh down onto the side of your body, squishing you onto the side of the car door that was next to you.

About ten minutes later going about sixty-five miles per hour through the empty streets of Gangnam, the two of you finally pulled up in front of the dirty bar. Gun immediately unbuckled his seatbelt then turned to you, making sure you understood his instructions carefully.

“Stay here. Whatever happens, don’t get out of the car.”

And with those words, he slammed the door right behind him and made sure that the car was locked. You anxiously watched him walk into the bar alone, worried that he might not come out of that bar alive.

Fifteen minutes had passed and you were starting to worry even more. Your hand nervously pressed against your chest, feeling your heart hammering through your chest. At that point, you were debating to yourself whether or not you should go into the bar to retrieve him. You hugged your knees inside the car then laid your head onto your knees sighing. “I hope he’s ok.”

All of a sudden, you heard yelling getting louder from inside the bar. “What’s going on in there?” The front door suddenly bursted open, as a guy came running out from the bar full of blood from head to toe. You realized that the guy was actually Tae. His face was all bruised up as his left eye looked swollen and his bloody nose was left crooked sideways. His uniform was ripped almost to shreds. The stitching on one of his arm sleeves seemed to have been torn right off and one of his pant legs was barely hanging on. Your eyes widened at the sight of Tae quivering in fear on the ground next to the car that you were in.

A loud bam was heard as the door to the bar swung open violently. Another guy flew out through the door then landed flat on the ground, now unconscious. That man had on a brown leather jacket and underneath was a long sleeved cheetah-printed polo shirt. Golden chains were wrapped around his neck and the sight of him reminded you of Ryuji, since they both looked alike. His body was also covered in bruises and stains of blood.

Who could have done this? Wait, it couldn’t be-

The bar’s front door suddenly flew open once again, as you saw someone kick the door open. Outside, came Gun walking out of the bar without a scratch on him. However, a bit of blood splatters was stained on his clothes, his face, and on his hands. While making his way back towards the car, you noticed that he successfully managed to get your luggage back!

Tae’s eyes widened at the sight of the unconscious, bloodied man in front of him being stomped all over by Gun. His body was being walked all over over by him without remorse like he was just some insect. Even while he was rolling your luggage bag behind him, the man on the ground remained unfazed when his body was being violated by your big luggage bag. Tae slowly backed away from Gun as much as possible, until his back met the car door where you were sitting behind it, watching their every move through the tinted window.

Gun stopped in front of Tae. His eyes glared down at him with such a threatening look that it almost caused Tae to urinate in his pants. “Move.”

Tae quickly nodded as he scurried away down the street, yelping like a scared chihuahua. Gun then took your luggage bag and stuffed it in the back trunk of his car. Afterwards, he made his way back to the driver’s seat then closed the door on his side before starting the car.

You were curious about how he managed to even get your belongings back so you asked, “How did you do that?”

Before he started driving again he lit a quick cigarette, with a soft exhale of smoke escaping through his lips. The smell of smoke filled the inside of his car, making you cough a bit but you didn’t mind.

“I just went in there, and spotted that big suitcase of yours from across the bar. That last guy that I just saw was holding onto it while he was talking with his buddies, so I went up to him and just beat him up. It wouldn’t change a thing if I just asked them to hand it over.”

He then switched the gear, then started driving off, heading back towards the direction that he was supposed to go to before he got side-tracked. You just sat there in the backseat trying to process what he just explained. “All you did was just beat him up? But what about the rest of the guys that were with him? Wouldn’t they have done something to you too?”

“They tried to, yeah. But I had to take care of all of them as quickly as possible, since I got other important matters to take care of. There wasn’t much that they could’ve done though. They were all weak in the end anyways.”

“W-what…?”

They were all weak? Who is this guy? And what incredible strength he had. How could he have beaten all of them at once? He was up against so many guys, yet he came out of that alive?

“Then, what happened to their boss? Did you have to fight him too?”

Gun sneered, as he took the cigarette out of his mouth then extinguished it onto the ash tray that laid next to him. “Did you see that other guy that was laying outside of that bar? He made such a good carpet.”

You gasped, clasping your hand onto your mouth in shock.

That was HIM?! Who the hell is this guy, Iron Man? Or- THANOS?!

You weren’t aware of it, but Gun was watching your reaction from the rear view mirror while he was driving. For a split second, he couldn’t help but smile in amusement from your animated facial expressions. “What an amusing woman.” He whispered to himself before his smiled faded back to his original stern face.

The tinted Rolls Royce car sped throughout the night, zooming past every obstacle that couldn’t dare touch Gun’s beloved car.

Finally, the two of you arrived in front of a large modern-styled mansion as he drove through an iron gate that automatically opened on its own. The driveway to his house was very wide and openly convenient. There were short marble steps that led you up towards the door of the mansion, which was accompanied by small traditional Japanese trees on the sides of the steps, that were probably imported from Japan. From above, there was an outdoor balcony that overlooks the open surroundings of his house with a nice view that was probably to-die-for.

The architecture of his home made you gawk widely, fascinated by how large his home was as he parked the car right in front of the driveway. His garage was already filled with other expensive luxury cars, so he decided to park his favorite car in front of his house.

Wide-eyed, your eyes enveloped the scenery of such a lavishly polished home. “This place is so stunning…” you murmured in awe as you exited the car. Gun got your luggage bag from the back trunk then handed it to you, for you to stroll yourself. “This way.” He said in a commanding tone while walking towards the door.

You followed him, still starstruck at how amazing his place looked. You halted right behind him, when he stopped in front of the door to unlock it using a touch-screen passcode lock. When he heard the small door beep a few times, he opened the door to let you in. “Excuse me…” you politely said as you entered the house.

Mother. Of. God.

And you thought the outside of his home was marvelous? Oh, no honey. That was just the cherry on top. The interior was on a whole other level.

It was wide in space. The floor was made out of smooth wooden mahogany planks. A simple wooden staircase stood on the side of the wall, that led all the way up towards the second floor with a steel railing following alongside it. The balcony of the second floor was completely see through, made out of tempered glass, one of the strongest glasses ever made. If you were to look below from the balcony, you could see almost everything from the top floor.

Further down from the front door, there was a lounge area. You would be greeted by a mini bar with high quality alcohol displayed in glass shelves behind the counter. Fancy glass cups were suspended above the counter, glittering spotlessly. Right next to the bar were two pool tables centered behind a big leather sofa surrounding a flat screen TV.

As you made your way past the lounge area, a long rectangular dining table with 12 seats surrounding it stood there in the dining area. A few meters away, was the kitchen. Everything was mostly covered in black and white. The counters. The high-tech stoves. Everything was sleek and clean.

After Gun gave you a tour in the first floor, he took your luggage for you then made you follow him up the stairs. The man was literally carrying your suitcase over his head like it was nothing, which impressed you. He did seem like a gentleman at first, but you couldn’t help but remember that he is still a very dangerous man.

On the second floor, he guided you into an empty room that didn’t seem to be touched at all but was still kept clean. There was a big queen-sized bed with a huge window next to it where you could view the scenery. However, the window was covered with dark curtains that could be pulled back anytime. There was a small wooden bedside table on both sides of the bed, with two lamps on top of them. Right near the door, was a slide-in closet. Across the room was a door that led you into a personal bathroom, which you find very convenient.

Gun set your luggage down next to the closet, then leaned against the wall while crossing his arms. “Alright, time to discuss what you’ll be doing for me while you’re here.”

You sat on the side of the bed, while you curiously stared at him wondering what he had planned for you.

“Tonight, I will work on the contract that I’ll be giving you later on. However, I’ll lay the rules out for you right now. While you are here, make sure you follow my rules, and MY rules alone. No one else’s. Since I have accepted you into my own house for the sake of making you stronger, consider yourself lucky. I wouldn’t have done this in the first place if I thought of you as a nobody, so don’t waste my time. I believe that you have what it takes to be one of the strongest, if you polish your skills the right way through my guidance. While living here temporarily, don’t be loud, don’t annoy me, and don’t cause any trouble. In addition to you staying here, you are not allowed to leave this place unless I give you permission to do so. There will be times when you will be fed breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday, so make sure to be awake at those times or else you won’t be getting any meals at all. Make sure that you are ready when I get downstairs for your training sessions, which will always start at seven in the morning. Also, don’t let anyone into this house unless I inform you to do so. There will be times when I won’t be home, so even if they do say that they’re associated with me in any way, don’t let them in. And one last thing. Don’t touch anything that belongs to me, except for when you’re in the lounge area, when you’re in the dining room where food will be given to you, or anything else given to you by me. Lastly, don’t ever tell anyone about what happens in this house. Never tell anyone about what you’ve been doing and what our plans are. If you break any of these rules, always expect that there will be consequences. By tomorrow you will receive a physical copy of the contract from me once it has been finished. You’ll have to wait for it so it can be signed properly. Any questions?”

You yawned while nodding.

“Hmph. What is it then?”

“What if I get hungry during times when it’s not even breakfast, lunch, or dinner?”

“Then control your hunger.”

You pouted, while crossing your arms. “So I’ll just starve?”

“You’ll get used to it if you don’t rely on your appetite whenever you have a sudden urge to eat. It won’t be good if you eat regularly whenever you’re not hungry since it’s just going to ruin your appetite.”

“Oh okay. Oh and I have other questions. So, you already know right? The reason why I’m in Korea in the first place was to make money. How can I earn money in Korea if this will be my life temporarily? And why do you want to take me in so badly? Like what’s in it for me? You literally just forced me to be here.”

Gun smirked before closing the door behind him. “Wouldn’t you like to know ‘so badly’?”

Slowly, he made his way towards you in such a sly manner that he made you back up immediately into the bed even further. As he stood closely in front of you, he leaned in closer to you. Both of his arms now pinned onto either side of you on the bed, while trapping you in between his arms. You could feel almost feel his hot breath touch your skin, which smelled of nicotine. He took off his glasses revealing what lied underneath, and your eyes finally met his.

Underneath his glasses were pitch-black orbs with white pupils centered in between each eye. There was a huge scar that ran across his eyes, which must’ve hurt greatly from the looks of it. Stunned, you were left speechless. You couldn’t get a word to escape from your mouth as you stared up at him. It was like you were caught in some kind of spell. You were so drawn to his eyes that, unconsciously, your hand reached his face and touched his cheek. But with fast reflexes, it didn’t even take a few seconds until he grabbed onto your hand then pinned it over your head. Your other hand laid dead still and you felt that hand starting to sweat onto the bed. His right knee was also pinned in between your legs, trapping you under his body.

“What are you trying to do now? Seduce me?”

You quickly shook your head in response.

“You know, I’m starting to think that bringing over a stranger might be bad for me, so listen closely.”

He leaned in very close to your ear, that the side of your heads were parallel from each other. Your heart started beating quicker and quicker every minute that you think that even Gun could hear it from where his face was at. He tucked a few strands of your hair behind your ear for you to listen carefully.

This position…

His forearms were pinned on the sides of your head. His scent made you feel light-headed. His chest was barely touching yours and you felt his breath even closer to your ear that it made your body tingle all over. You could even feel his leg graze slightly against your private part in between your legs, which made your legs all stiff. This was the first time that you’re on a bed with a man that it made your cheeks hot and red like twin tomatoes.

“Think of it as kind of a. . . You-Pay-Me and I-Pay-You situation. The outcome will be Win-Win if we both cooperate with each other. You will help me bring down four of the major power groups in Korea. In exchange, I will grant you anything you want. It can be money, fame, designer clothes, you name it. I’ll turn you into an unstoppable beast. You will even be known as a legend in Korea too.”

“I don’t really care much about all of that, except for the money. But… how will that benefit you?”

He stared deep into your eyes then smirked. “Money and power is all it takes to become the strongest. Once I have destroyed them all, there won’t be anything left for them in which I will be the one to rise to the top. I will shape you into one who’s worthy of fighting. My ultimate secret weapon. They won’t even know what will hit them. Once you have become one of my greatest masterpieces, money won’t be a problem for you anymore.”

Again with the “greatest masterpieces”. Will this really be the best option to help out mom?

“If that’s the case, then you can count me in. I’ll become one of your greatest masterpieces.”

“Finally, then it’s been decided. I’m glad we see eye-to-eye. We’ll negotiate on how much you’ll be given each month tomorrow after our first training session.”

He leaned back and retreated from the bed, leaving you to stare up at the ceiling in a daze. He retrieved his glasses then put them back on. While making his way towards the door, he stopped in front of it while he grasped the door knob.

“Oh, and one more thing. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll mostly be in my room, so knock if you need to. Also, give me your phone for a second. I need to give you my number.” He let go of the door knob as he returned back to you.

“Ohhh… right.”

You quickly sat up from the bed then took out your phone from your pocket. You unlocked it before handing it to him, so he could add his number to your contacts. “I’ll need your number too.”

“Ah… alright.”

After the both of you exchanged numbers he said, “Contact me if there’s an emergency.” You nodded when he handed your phone back to you.

Right when he was about to leave the room, the last words he said to you that night was, “Go ahead and get some sleep. It’ll be a busy day for you tomorrow.” Then shuts the door behind him.

Exhausted from everything that has happened that day, you collapsed back onto the bed and sighed.

Ah, I’m such a fool.

Out of nowhere, your belly started grumbling. You forgot that you haven’t eaten anything yet since you arrived in Korea. You sat up once again, then stared at your phone in your hand.

“Is hunger considered an emergency…?”

[End of Ch. I]

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