Tumgik
#everyone thinks being aro means you don't desire a relationship. WRONG.
shmaroace · 2 years
Text
aspec identities are literally the footnote of the lgbtqia+ community. like if you're lucky, you might encounter information about asexuals, and if you're really lucky, you might learn something completely wrong about aros!
216 notes · View notes
ihateliterature · 10 months
Text
I fucking hate this thing going on in fandom where there are 2 camps, one goes
"shipping has rotten people's brains. People can't consume media critically because they only care about shipping, the only way to appreciate something is to divorce it from romance and sex. That's why we should promote platonic relationships in media because they are purer and don't rot people's brains"
And the other one goes
"romance and sex are cornerstones of how we tell stories, everyone who doesn't like the amount of romance and sex in media is a puritan and a fucking child that needs to grow up. It should be MORE sex and romance in media actually"
And they are both wrong. Both of them, in so many ways
On one side, demonizing the desire some people have towards romantic and erotic stories is obviously harmful
On the other, media is overflowing with bad, harmful and gratuitous representations of sexuality and love and many of us are just fed up by it
(also, sex and romance are definitely not cornerstones of storytelling, they are common themes. Saying otherwise is not only aphobic but it also ignores the complexity of the human experience)
And now you are aromantic and asexual, and you are in the middle, because you obviously don't agree with the first camp. On top of being stupid, treating friendship as somehow "purer" promotes the idea of hierarchies between relationships by putting each type in neat little boxes and it also infantalises people who are specifically looking for committed platonic relationships
But you ALSO can't side with the other camp, because they create a environment that is just SO. FUCKING. HOSTILE. to aspecs is incredible, especially when they talk about "supporting queer artists and queer people in fandom", bc that applies only as long as you don't come in between their ship (which is usually just an imagined "threat" rather than an actual one). As an aro, you can't go in most shipping spaces, especially proship spaces, and rave about a platonic ship, you just can't do that. Antis have taken platonic ships to mean "purer, not like that icky fetish content" and now being a platonic shipper became a red flag. You can't talk about the overabundance of romance and sex in media, you can't talk about how you're happy 2 characters stayed friends. Because the shipping community is so wildly aphobic it's almost impossible for aspecs to exist in it except for a few select pockets
And now you're in the middle, because the people who you respected are actively saying that the content you want, that the content that represents you, is inferior and make fun of your desire for more, and the people that agree with you are homophobic dudebros angry as gay shippers, self important assholes and the people who think doxxing and sui baiting is the funniest things on earth
I just ...
Man, idk
I just want to have fun in fandoms without having to go through this every month or so
131 notes · View notes
olderthannetfic · 8 months
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/728233881369739264/the-aroace-anon-makes-me-sad-and-shows-how-fucked?source=share
I apologize in advance but this ask ticked me off, so to vent I'm going to rant about it in your ask box (I think you get a lot of that lol)
I have no idea what post OP is responding to but from context I assume that a person of the aroace persuasion doesn't feel welcome in their own identity because how vocal sex positive aces are. That must really suck and I think they need to talk to ace people in real life because I'm willing to bet the only thing that are seeing is internet wank.
I really feel for them but the unfortunate reality is that when an ace person explains that they have had sex, or is having sex, had sex once enjoyed it or is in a relationship that has sex in it, allosexual (people who experience sexual attraction) immediately go and invalidate our identity. They go "Oh you've had sex so obviously you're not ace you're het or you're gay etc." That invalidation makes the sex positive portion of the ace spectrum mad. Because we are actively being told we don't fit in our label (Which ironically, is exactly what OP is doing by saying that the label wasn't made for us)
I like sex but I have no desire to have it. People don't rev my engine (I don't even do what the hell this means lol, can you tell I'm ace?) This means so I don't feel sexual attraction which is the exactly definition that OP is using for asexuality. My having to explain this and the frequency in which I have to explain this that means that I am louder than the asexuals who don't have to explain. And presto, by the nature of the internet, it means that I'm what you find when you go look for asexual representation on the internet.
I also take issue with the definition this OP has for sex repulsion. If enjoying sex as an ace person is one side of the spectrum. Not wanting and/or enjoying sex is the middle of the spectrum.
If your sex repulsed you are at the other end of the spectrum. Implying that sex repulsed people are traumatized and need therapy is a misrepresentation at best. It's just another micro label ace people use to get across their experiences. All that label implies is that you have a strong aversion to sex. That could be due to you finding sex objectively disgusting or due to past trauma. There could be a million other reason to identify as sex repulsed.
What sex repulsion does not imply is that there is something wrong with you for not wanting sex and you need to go to therapy to fix it.
It's like getting into a car crash and never wanting to drive again. There may be some impact on your lifestyle but it's not the end of the world. Having some sort of sexual trauma happen to you and never wanting sex again is a valid reaction and never getting over that is okay. It absolutely doesn't invalidate identifying as asexual.
Point in fact asexuality has always been an identity that people want to wish away with medical intervention. We say we don't feel any sexual attraction and they say you should see a doctor about that, you must be depressed. Of course there is something wrong with you if you don't want sex, everyone likes sex.
You're sex repulsed?? You should have therapy about that. This kind of medical rhetoric happens all the time because our society puts emphasis sex in relationships. A healthy sex life equals a healthy relationships which is absolutely not how it works. Thus you are defective if you don't want sex but especially if there is a reason you don't want sex.
Sex repulsed is a label real asexual people actually use to identify themselves. And OP should not judge other people for what labels they use because OP doesn't like "implications" of the word repulsed. I realise that OP is coming from a position of sympathy here and that aro/ace person absolutely should not have to use a label that they don't identity with but the reasons that OP states aren't valid.
I absolutely agree some people don't have any experience with sex and when they get it they will realise that they weren't ace after all. That doesn't invalidate thinking they were ace at the time. Sometimes a label doesn't work out long term. The amount of stories I've heard from people that used to be ace but figured out that they actually just don't like guys or girls. Or they like sex fine they just don't like the romantic part. Asexuality is frequently a stopping block for people until they find an identity that better suits them. That's just part of ace culture too.
So in summary get off my lawn OP you don't know what your talking about. Sympathizing isn't enough. Try looking up ace Mirco labels and see how many different ways there are to be ace in either direction.
--
Scroll back.
32 notes · View notes
Visiting Family For Christmas [queer mystery :p] Saiouma
Been thinking about my evil agendas (it will only slightly have to do with nsfw implications so don't get your hopes up)
Roommates saiou And visiting family for christmas
I just thought to myself. I want a scenario where saiou are roommates like in Litsu's, but they have to deal with christmas and Shuichi having to visit family, for the needs of this au I mean whole family, not just uncle
And he takes Kokichi with him, because 1) they planned to spend it together before his parents decided they want to host a big christmas party 2) Kokichi would end up alone on christmas otherwise 3)it bothers Shuichi's parents but they have to agree since they want Shuichi to come So it's a small win for Shuichi
Anyway, just like in the au I referenced at the start Shuichi only dated Kaede before and his parents know they broke up but not why or what saiou's relationship is
So they're like "You're gay!"
And here's the fun part The evil of my plans They're not Love loses
But Shuichi's parents do not believe them, in fact, nobody believes them Tsumugi is the first to get nosy and try to spy on them [yes, another sibling AU]
(Did I mention they're staying at the mansion until new year's? They're staying at the mansion like in a murder mystery, nobody leaves until the truth is out) So yeah, multiple people are trying to catch saiou being intimate to prove a point
And there are instances when they think they have definitive evidence, "aha! You're sharing a bed" or "See how they're leaning on each other and whispering? It's obvious.." And "Wait! Where are they? They must have snucked off! And you know what that means…"
There's a betting pool on who'll get them to admit that But guess what It's new year's eve and no answers Despite Uncle trying to stop her, Saihara's mom confronts them upright in front of everyone
Ves: WHAT DO YOU MEAN LOVE LOSES CRYING Me: LOVE LOSES [3 fire emojis] Romance is dead No gay ppl Ves: NOOOOOOOOOOO WHY Me: Only aro gang
They have to enter the new year explaining what qpr is so everyone understands that no, they're not fwb, or boyfriends, or "just" friends, Uncle takes all the money from the bet bc he said they'd all be wrong & should mind their business But it takes a LONg argument to get everyone to agree to this interpretation, the just friends people and fwb people had both made claims that it counts as their answer and then once saiou answered those, the bf ones also tried to raise some
Ves: this being in nsfw makes it funnier Me: It has to be in nsfw, they had multiple instances of someone bursting in on them with "You're having sex!" like in that one meme And also because it delves into my deepest desires and the most twisted aspects of my mind
Ves: the "why didn't you tell me, i would've put my book down" one?? i think that could skate by in gen Me: I am not filthy enough for you?! Ves: emotional commitment IS pretty filthy… Me: If I was realistic, the family wouldn't get it, not all of them, but it's filthy wish fulfillment so saiou gets through to them
Me: I would like to add to that AU, a very important detail: I've only said they're aro, nothing about being ace. They ARE fucking. No one managed to catch them red-handed, despite all the efforts to, there's been only a few close calls, like when they snuck off alone, nobody found where they went and it wasn't the bedroom they were staying at, so there was no way to prove it, or when they got busted for cuddling in bed they literally only had clothes on because it was too cold not to put them back on, it being December & especially in a big ass house with a bunch of fireplaces for aesthetic instead of central heating
13 notes · View notes
Note
Hope it’s ok to post this here. I currently identify as aroallo but I am still questioning my aro identity. When I was a kid I would have “crushes” with all the butterflies and stuff but in hindsight I think it was more a desire to be their friend rather than romantic partner.
So I guess I am just really confused about romance, in particular how it is different from like a really close and probably exclusive friendship. I know that alloaces exist who don’t want sex in a romantic partnership so I don’t think the sexual part is what makes it different. Maybe I just want a QPR? Or “friends with benefits”? Or perhaps I am in just in some sort of deep denial of any actual romantic feelings I have and I’m just completely allo? I don’t see a lot of aroallos out there talking about their experiences so I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Am I overthinking this? I don’t know :(
Yeah, you're far from the only person who's had trouble with this, Anon (even outside of ace/aro spaces), and it's a fair question. The line between romance and platonic friendship isn't easy to distinguish for everyone, or easy to define. (And there are some identities built around that like platoniromantic, idemromantic, quoiromantic and the concept of alterous attraction.)
Generally speaking what makes romantic attraction/feelings romantic is that it feels romantic. And that's not very useful to someone who isn't sure if they're feeling it or not, but often there's a specific romantic feeling people can identify. And it makes them want to connect with people in a romantic, so being in romantic situations, or being in a relationship defined as romantic.
Romance also tends to be a situation attraction. People who experience romantic attraction will have situations or scenarios they see as romantic (growing old together for example), and will feel a desire or pull to be in situations like that with the other person.
Sometimes the line between romance and platonic friendship is very blurry though, and some people can experience a mix of the two. If that's something you want to explore, some labels I'd recommend looking into are:
Idemromantic: Someone who categorizes relationships as romantic or platonic but experiences no internal differences.
Platoniromantic: When someone experiences no difference between romantic and platonic attraction.
Quoiromantic: An umbrella term that means actively dis-identifying with romance/romantic attraction/romantic orientation or not seeing it as a sensible/applicable category. Or finding romance/romantic orientation/romantic attraction non-sensical, inapplicable, inaccessible, etc. (There's a good article on quoiromanticism here)
Alterous attraction: An attraction that isn't wholly romantic or platonic, but may contain elements of both. If you look at platonic and romantic as binaries, alterous is a non-binary option.
Another thing I'd recommend looking into are squishes, Anon. These are completely platonic crushes, but they can feel very similar to romantic crushes and include a lot of similar symptoms.
Usually people experiencing squishes want to be important or want to be close/friends to the person they're attracted to, but it doesn't feel romantic at all.
As for what you want, you can want anything regardless of what attraction you may be feeling. So I'd really recommend trying not to worry too much and just trying to ask yourself as honest as you can what's appealing to you? You can also try different things out and see how they go if you want, as well.
This is a lot, don't feel like you have to have everything figured out right after reading all this. Let information sit, let yourself process things. And feel free to look into a research what looks interesting. Sometimes just because of the ineffable nature of romance, these things can be a bit subjective and there can be some overlap in ways of identitfying. So don't tie yourself in knots worrying about getting it exactly right, 'this works for me' or 'this is a useful way for me to label myself' is pretty good when figuring out labels and identity.
Could you secretly be alloromantic? It's possible, but my experience is that alloromantic people--while they may have a hard time sometimes describing or explaining romance--often don't have a hard time identifying if that's what they're actually feeling. Though again these things are a bit subjective, and the most important thing I'd suggest is to keep asking yourself what makes sense to you.
You're not doing anything wrong, this stuff can be incredibly confusing to figure out.
Feel free to send in another ask if you have more questions or want anything elaborated on. But hopefully this is helpful.
All the best!
21 notes · View notes
alterousuggestion · 11 months
Note
Hi can you help me understand myself pls?
I really don’t understand the difference between platonic and romantic feelings/relationships. I’m worried that if I end up dating someone that I’ll upset them with how open i am with my love and affection. I also don’t understand monogamy. I’m really bad at explaining things so bare with me pls
So if I’m dating someone who’s monogamous because I love them and I’m sexually attracted to them
AND
Love my friends and I’m sexually attracted to them too
But only have sex with the one I’m dating
Questions : does that make me aro? And should I set some boundaries with my friends when it comes to the romantic type of affection? Is it cheating if I don’t set boundaries? Should I not date a monogamous person?
I just wouldn’t want my partners feelings getting hurt that’s all. Thanks
Hello~ I am so sorry it took me forever to get around to answering this.
I think it's very common in both aro and alloromantic circles to sometimes tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction, especially if, as an alloromantic, you are on the younger side in age (not always, but sometimes!!). It's something that comes with experience, on both sides. The alloromantic person will eventually get better at realising the nuances in their feelings, and the aromantic person will also get better at understanding themselves as well.
As always, I can't give you a 100% yes you are aro because what being aromantic means is different for everyone. However, what I will say is that you recognising that your love and affection, as well as your sexual attraction, can apply to more than one person at the same time, can be an indication of a more non-monogamous/polyamorous attraction style.
I am not an expert on this, so please view this as a jumping off point into your own research rather than a 100% correct answer. I would recommend researching up on polyamorous relationships, and I would also recommend to do some research on relationship anarchy, and see if that is something that would interest you. I also want to say that being polyamorous and aromantic is not mutually exclusive, as there are many people who are both.
Now to answer your questions:
Does that make me aro?
Reflect on how you feel in terms of your romantic attraction. 'Love' is a very broad term. What does it mean to you? Do you love your partner and your friends in the same way? Are there differences? Does calling it romantic attraction when it comes to your S/O feel good? What about your friends? Do you get a positive reaction when you think of your attraction in romantic terms, or do you feel indifferent or maybe even a bit uncomfortable?
From what you wrote, I sensed that you may be conflating sexual attraction and romantic attraction. Remember, aromantic means you have little to no romantic attraction. It is distinct from being asexual.
Should I set some boundaries with my friends when it comes to the romantic type of affection?
This is a tricky one. For the meantime, until you are able to figure out what you are feeling and what you would desire, I would say yes. I think it's really important to realise that, while feeling attracted to multiple people at the same time isn't wrong, it can be hurtful to the person you are in a relationship if they don't understand. It can also come across as confusing to your platonic friendships too. Boundaries are extremely important no only for yourself, but for others too. Like I said, it isn't wrong, but it's so important to be mindful of the fact that our experiences will touch and affect others too.
Is it cheating if I don’t set boundaries?
It might come off that way to your partner, so I would say yes, although it's a bit more complicated than that since you might have a different perspective. You need to be clear and honest to yourself about what you want, and you need to respect what your partner wants too.
Should I not date a monogamous person?
In general, if you feel as if you would like to explore polyamory and your attraction to multiple people, then being with someone who is monogamous can be a challenge. Both people have needs, and they may come off as contradicting. Again, neither of you are wrong, but it's about knowing what you are and are not comfortable with in a relationship. Ultimately, this is a conversation you need to have with your partner.
I understand not wanting to hurt your partners feelings, but honesty is always the most important thing in my opinion. Respect yourself and your partner enough to have this conversation, because it's about honouring you both.
Here are some resources that might help you out further:
6 notes · View notes
concubuck · 2 years
Note
💔 😘 💝
((💔Do they have a certain type of person they will not enter into a relationship with?
Um? Like. Almost everyone. That's why he's single sdfgh 
Like nearly everyone everywhere wouldn't enter a relationship with MOST people due to simply not being interested in them, and I'm sure this question isn't meant to ask "list every single conceivable trait your character isn't interested in. Describe the entirety of the 97% of the human race that does nothing for them." Because that's ridiculous.
So I feel like this question MUST mean "is there anyone he'd not enter a relationship with, even though he's interested in them?" Like, what traits are dealbreakers in spite of otherwise being attracted to them?
And I don't think Alastor can do that. He doesn't have "I hate you but I love you." There's no "romantically drawn to you in spite of." If someone does or is something that he dislikes enough that he wouldn't date them... then like, he doesn't want to date them in the first place? He never became interested? He doesn't have to reluctantly make the choice between desire and distaste? There's no desire.
In general, it takes a LONG time for romantic attraction to arise in him, if it ever arises at all. Extreme aro with only 1% demi. By the time a relationship is on the table, he's already known someone long enough and well enough to know if they do anything he can't stand; and if they do, he simply never becomes attracted.
He might refuse to enter a relationship with someone he's attracted to just because he doesn't want to be in a relationship—he's done that before—but that has nothing to do with the person he's turning down.
😘Does their demeanor change when in a relationship?
Already answered! And I can't really think of anything to add to that answer skfdh sorry
💝How long until they feel secure and comfortable in a relationship?
... You know, this dude has so little romantic experience, once he's actually in a relationship I don't know that it would ever even occur to him to feel INsecure. He's never been betrayed! Never been cheated on! Never had someone go "I thought I loved you and I tried to make it work but the spark just isn't there"! Never been played or strung along!
He is pure and untarnished and even though he's spent a century reveling in the hilarious tragedies of other people's failed love lives, deep in his heart he thinks that he's smarter than them. And that because he's more cautious and less love-thirsty, if he ever DID agree to enter a relationship, he would successfully identify all the warning signs and red flags the first time around and land himself in a great relationship. Can't make stupid mistakes driven by attraction if you don't feel attraction!!! He's got to be careful, sure—but as long as he thinks he IS being careful and thinks he's "putting in the work," he doesn't think anything could go wrong.
So once it was official, he'd feel pretty secure pretty fast. Because he's Just Too Clever to get fucked over.
The one thing he'd worry about is outside forces threatening his relationship. Like I said earlier about him viewing his whole life as a narrative—if for example he dates a sinner, there'd be part of him worrying, "what if I'm just unconsciously fulfilling my role as succubus? What if we were arranged to get together so that I can serve as their 'punishment,' making them miserable in Hell, and also corrupting them with lust? What if the DIVINE PURPOSE of our relationship is to make each other unhappy?"
But like, that's not him feeling insecure with his partner. That's him watching over his back in case God does something.))
2 notes · View notes
mmmaruda · 7 months
Text
I need to get this of my chest. My parents have had enough of listening to me saying the same shit over and over again.
I feel like nobody talks about this enough. I'm almost an adult yet I haven't experienced being desired by someone romantically. I naver hold hands kissed, texted with someone or even had a crush. I kinda accepted that theres a big chance of me being aromamtic but just because i am aro doesnt mean i want to be. Theres nothing wrong with being aro but I want to know how it feels. How its possible that one person makes someone so happy, I want to feel that. I want to be desired, to have someone that appriciates me and maybe an ego bust. Idk about being in a relationship but someone having a crush on me or smh. To confirm that Im lovable. Of course I'm still young and have plenty time to experience it but I feel like it will never happen. I want to feel wanted, to have someone that cherished me. To have a deeper connection. Maybe the issue lies in me being unlikeable? The last time I had someone I could call my best friend I was in primary school. I have friends, I'm just never their first option. We mostly see each other at school, but when we do go out I just know we don't click. I sit there all day waiting to go home. I feel very often sad and frustrated because of this. I'm not seeking a romantic relationship but a platonic one. Yet I'm still unsuccessful in finding both. People say that you find love when you dont try, it comes naturally. That I need to focus on myself but when I do this I only see my classmates and family so where would it even come from. I have a big problem with meeting new people. I don't know how to do it. For the past 3 years I have been working on myself. Since then I can actually talk to someone without stressing out and crying. I signed up for multiple events in my school just to meet new people and it never happens. I'm so lost, i dont know what to do. In primary school I felt fulfilled because I was around people I genuinely liked. They made me happy, my life didnt revolve around them but they were making my everyday life nicer. Still we werent that close and we lost contact. We dont call, meet, or even write to each other. Some of them met their current partners and just gave up on friends. People prioritising romantic relationships over platonic are shallow and fell victim of patriarchy. It seems like by society our only goal in life is to find a romantic partner, get married and have kids. Even if it's someone lgbt who cant have bio children, people still expect them to find their "other half", because it's "how life works". I feel like I'm never going to love anyone and nobody is going to love me. I have this one closer friend that always has my back just like I have theirs but they're always so busy with other people. It hurts honestly so much. Like half a year ago we went to see spiderverse since and I decided to be bold. I asked them If I could videocall them that night because I had so many thoughts after the movie. But they said that tonight they had already made plans with someone else. There's nothing wrong with it but at that moment it hit me. They're always doing something and I can never make plans with them because of it. I value them more then they value me. I'm not their first choice person. I was also restraining myself from becoming to close/depended on them because in the past being too clingy made me lose friends. So why everyone has someone close and I don't. Why I don't have someone I could do matching bracelets with or pfp. I'm a filler person. I here just because not bc anyone wants me. I want to make more irl friends but I don't know how. I know it's not my personality or looks but something is wrong with me. I think it's because I miss a lot of social clues but idk. I just want friends.
0 notes
asexual-society · 3 years
Note
Hi! Sorry if I'm disturbing, but I'm in need of help. I'm a twenty-years-old girl who always thought of herself as bisexual. Last week I had a date with one of my friends, and as we said we liked each other, things got physical (hugs, kisses, touchings...). I always felt uncomfortable thinking about kissing or having sex, and I don't generally hug people; everyone always told me it was because I'm reserved and timid, and I believed them, but now I'm questioning myself. I can't imagine myself doing these things with a significant other... but my parents tell me it's because I haven't found the right person. Now, I'd really like to be with my friend romantically, but I don't want to be involved physically... as I'm not sure about my sexuality (or asexuality?), I don't even have an excuse for my behavior. I don't want to scare her away or to star a relationship where she can't get what she wants, so I don't really know what to do. I don't want to hurt her! Could you give me any advice? (I hope my writing was decent enough, as English isn't my mother tongue)
Hey anon, it sounds like you could be asexual if you don't feel any desire to be with anyone sexually, and of you're very uncomfortable with the idea of having sex, you may be sex repulsed, which is pretty common for people on the asexual spectrum. A lack of desire to kiss anyone can also be a trait of asexual people, or it could be a result of being on the aromantic spectrum. I'd also look into touch aversion, which sounds like something you might be experiencing. You don't have to be aspec to be sex repulsed or touch averse, but both can be common among asexual people.
I'm a pretty reserved and shy person, and I often find it difficult or uncomfortable initiating physical contact with people like hugs, and sometimes I don't like them at all. Occasionally I get a good hug, but most of the time it just feels weird. I tried kissing once and I wasn't a fan of that either, so I probably won't do it again, and the idea of having sex with someone makes me super uncomfortable. Society may deem this experience to be wrong in some way, but that's just how I am, and many other people are too.
If you're uncomfortable with anything though, I'd really recommend telling you're friend that before perusing anything with her. If you enjoy the dating aspect of it, that's okay, you aren't obliged to like any other parts, there's nothing wrong with not liking some forms of physical intimacy, even if you aren't on the ace or aro spectrums, but it's important to be honest with someone if you do think you'd like to be in a romantic relationship with them. If you're feeling pressure to behave a certain way that you don't want, that won't lead to anything good, you can't force yourself to suddenly be different, and you don't need to.
Unfortunately, for some people this may not be what they want out of a relationship, for some people these aspects are important to them, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you (or them), it just means you aren't compatible, just like if you were with someone who didn't want kids, when you did. That's easy for me to say from an outside perspective, but I know it can be really hard, especially with someone you care a lot about, but she's your friend first, and hopefully she'll respect you and understand that whatever happens it doesn't mean you care any less. You deserve someone who can respect your boundaries, but she deserves for you to be honest about your feelings, even if you think it might hurt her to know how you feel, it also could hurt her to know if she was making you in any way uncomfortable, and it's better to be open about your feelings now, rather than wait until you push yourself too far.
You don't need a "reason" to dislike or feel uncomfortable with certain actions, only you can determine how you feel, don't let anyone tell you how you "should" be or who you should like or that you don't know yourself better than anyone.
I really hope you can talk to your friend, that things go okay for you, and that you can feel more comfortable, please don't hesitate to send another ask if you need to (and don't worry about your English, it's good). Best of luck.
- mod key
19 notes · View notes
kyanitedragon · 3 years
Note
Hey! I saw you reblogged the post about Saiki and Kris. I was wondering, do you have any HCs yourself about them being Aplspec or Aspec? 😊 Or do you know any other characters or media?
Yeah, I do!
I headcanon Saiki as demi-platonic, since he starts the series as extremely asocial but ends up warming up to and appreciating his friends a lot by the end. But he still keeps his feelings to himself and retains quite a bit of his asocialness. All-around he's super relatable as an aromantic aplatonic myself! (I also headcanon Saiki as a non-partnering aroace.)
As for Kris, I think them being aplatonic-spec makes so much sense with what we know of their character. They care about Susie and view her as a friend, but they're not the type of person to show grand gestures of affection. Or even to show any sense of affection in ways that would be easy to see or pick up on. And there's a lot of underlying subtext of Kris being the Weird Kid and neurodivergent-coded, and the term Aplatonic was originally coined by a neurodivergent allo. I could see Kris being an apl with 0 platonic attraction, or in the grey area with little platonic attraction and not much desire to act on it. I'm not sure yet where on the aplatonic spectrum I see them. And actually, now that I think about it, even Kris' relationship with Noelle makes sense from an aplatonic point of view. Noelle viewed them as having grown apart, but Kris seems to very quickly go back to being good friends with her. I remember being surprised that your only options when asked were "yes we're friends" or "no we're something else." But now that I think about it, a lot of aplatonics don't really feel that time changes their relationships, so it makes sense that an aplatonic Kris would have considered them friends this entire time. (I also headcanon Kris as aromantic.)
I've also seen a few aplatonics mention Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic! It's been a while since I watched the series, but I do remember that Twilight Sparkle started out the series with not many friends and not desiring any either. Now, the whole series' lesson is basically to prove her wrong and show her how "magical" friendship is, so it's not really an aplatonic-friendly series, but Twilight Sparkle is still pretty relatable as an aplatonic.
I have a few aplatonic headcanons for Tokyo Ghoul characters. The author Ishida Sui tends to write introvert characters that actually feel like real introverts to me, and they don't ever have any character arcs about growing out of their introversion.
The main character of Tokyo Ghoul, Kaneki Ken, I see as aplatonic. At age 18, he's only ever had 1 friend, and it never seemed to bother him or make him lonely. And despite making tons of friends and found family throughout the series and getting better at social interactions, none of those relationships came from his own desire to make friends and instead came from outside circumstances. By the end of the series, he's still very introverted and closed-off, despite having gone through a lot of other character development. (I also headcanon him as a biromantic asexual!)
And his best friend, Hide, I headcanon him as grey-aplatonic. He's an extrovert and he's the kind of person you would assume has a million friends. But really, you find out that Kaneki is his only real friend. Everyone else he interacts with he seems to just view as an aquaintance, classmate, or coworker. I can't think of another extroverted character in media like that. (I also headcanon him as a lithromantic pan allo-aro!)
And finally, Tsukiyama I headcanon as demi-platonic. His whole main arc is actually about growing up being disconnected and alienated from others, a lot of people push him away and he's insecure about it but always deflects, and he learns that he actually likes having friends and people around once he joins a friend group. But it takes him half a year to warm up to his eventual friends and realize what they mean to him. (I also headcanon him as quoiromantic and quoisexual!)
And Ishida Sui actually has a new manga out now, Choujin X, which has a main character named Tokio with a similar introverted nature to Kaneki. One of the last chapters released actually talked about how Tokio doesn't have any dreams or ambitions in his life, and wondering if that's weird or bad. And that hit me quite hard, not just in a "i don't know what I'm doing with my life yet" kind of way, but also because i'm an aplatonic loveless aro and i don't always feel the same kind of desire or ambitions for my hobbies that other people do. So, I think I now headcanon him an an aplatonic loveless aro.
10 notes · View notes
ogeeitsme · 4 years
Note
I have a question, if none of you mind me asking: how do you know if you are asexual and/or aromantic? I think I read somewhere that one of you was asexual (or I might have just imagined that, I really don't know), and that's something that have been wondering for a while, so I hoped that I could get an answer here!
We do not mind you asking. We were going to save this ask for Kris to answer (he is “Greyroace”), but since I am also “Aro-ace”, I can give my thoughts on this, and perhaps leave room for him to answer.
I will try to keep it simple. My suggestion first, is to remember that sexualities talk about attraction (and desire, to some degree).
Starting with Asexual, or ace, what people have confused here, is that asexuality is usually compared to libido (“google” it, if you do not know it). You must seperate these two things, and then can you understand asexuality. Asexuality (from our experiences and how we understand) is not based on your body’s reaction alone. It is also a spectrum [“aspec” (not to be confused with “ASD”)]. I suggest googling Aceflux, Gray-ace and Demisexual for starters, besides just “Asexuality”
The most basic way to define how it may feel, is simply not being attracted to others, sexually. On another note, you can be hypersexual AND asexual.
For some, they literally do not even get a body-response along with the lack of sexual attraction, and that is why they identify as asexual. For others, it is based on only attraction (see: hypersexual aces as one example, or demisexuals, again). I am not sure how else to explain without getting into more mature topics. If it is still confusing, imagine a lesbian. Their lack of attraction to men would be a similar feeling to how asexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone.
Then, going into the other parts of the spectrum, some feel they are in between allosexual and asexual (see: Gray-ace), or only feel sexual attraction only after a certain point (see: Demisexual). Some asexuals are repulsed by the idea of the act and some are not repulsed, and can engage with their partners.
Aromanticism is similar but in the context of romantic relationships. I.. do not know how to explain this, but for me, the thought of a romantic relationship is not something I am interested in. I am personally repulsed at the idea of forming relationships, so a “friendlier” explanation would come from Kris. Though, Aromantic people can still be in relationships (I believe they are called Queer platonic relationships?). Some are in romantic ones as well, though I can not give you more details on that, as everyone’s experiences are different since we are all human and have different cases. There is also Demiromantic, Grey-romantic, and so on.
Speaking in behalf of Kris, being Aromantic does not mean you can not feel love or show love. I too, can agree with that. Love can not and should not be tied to only romance and sexual acts.. You can love your friends (and family). And for those in a relationship, I usually hear it described as “More than friends but not romantic (or sexual)”
How you identify and label yourself can have many “combinations”.. Some are Aro, but not ace. Some are ace, but not aro. Some are both. When you are aro and another label, people also use these as suffixes (“Panromantic Ace”) (or vice versa with the “default” words: “Pansexual Aro”)
I think I have said everything we could... I will end with a link to Kris explaining how he is Grey aro-ace and bi.
Again, we are no expert. The Arospec and Aspec world is large and vastly unique to your own feelings and experiences. It is okay not to know now, and it is okay to be wrong if you end up finding out a better label for yourself. What may define this for me may be defined differently for others (and maybe even better). Take your time, Anon. And, if you have more questions, I would highly suggest ace/aro focused blogs.. I can imagine their moderators or blogrunners would love to try and help. The internet is a big place for exploration.
7 notes · View notes
dxmedstudent · 5 years
Note
Sorry for the question, but you're like the older sister I don't have... My main problem is this: I'm 23, in my last year of med school and I have 0 experience in love. Never had crushes, or kisses, or anything sexual. I'm not gorgeous but neither ugly, just plain and with a terrible case of resting bitch face. It's not that I'm a recluse at home: I go to uni, study at the library, go swimming twice a week, go out with my friends... [1/3]
Yet nobody is interested in me, and at the same time I'm not interested in anybody... And yet I still crave affection. I was watching a movie earlier and the parents of the protagonist die. I felt a sudden, deep sadness mixed with loneliness because I realized that if my parents were to die, I would be completely alone because yes I have friends, but I really have a strong connection with my parents, I don't have anyone else I trust like I trust them...I really don't know what to do or think, because I consciously know that everybody has their own time and their priorities (mine is to graduate med school) but I really, really feel abnormal because in social situations, when my friends talk about their relationship troubles or their exes, I simply stay silent because I have nothing to contribute... I don't even know what I want with this ask, but I just needed to let this off my chest... Thank you for reading.
Hey, friend. There is no need to apologise! I’m always here to listen if it will make you feel better. You aren’t abnormal, just because you’re experiencing life differently to your friends. Everyone experiences life differently, including romance and sexual attraction. It sounds like you feel left out of discussion, particularly as you don’t feel you can add something due to your lack of experience. You don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to, and it’s perfectly legitimate for you to just not be interested in them at all. There’s a huge pressure on young people to be in relationships or out there having sex, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. You don’t have to have experiences to talk about these things; I was giving relationship advice long before I had one of my own. You don’t have to earn the right to talk about these things, if they do interest you, either. You sound like a perfectly normal person; most of us look average; I certainly would never describe myself as stunning. Of the happiest married people I know, I wouldn’t say they are the most conventionally attractive, but that doesn’t matter to your partners. So I want you to know that your looks are not a problem. You say people aren’t interested in you, but I do wonder if it’s because it’s not something you’re interested in, and therefore the vibes you give reflect that. I’m pretty sure I’ve given ‘do not disturb vibes’ like that during busy, stressful parts of my life when romance was the last thing on my mind. Likewise, even when I’ve tried to make friends, I could spot the people a mile off who just... aren’t interesed in getting to know anyone, thank you very much. When you’re open to meeting new people, and actively engaging with people with forming relationships (whether friendship or romance/sexual relationships) as an option, it feels different. But, friend, what I’m hearing from you  - correct me if I’m reading it wrong - is that you perhaps don’t feel a desire to form romantic relationships, or a sexual attraction to people, that you know of. Have you ever considered that you might be part of the aromantic/asexual spectrum?  Sometimes it helps for us to consider where on the spectrum of sexuality we stand; there’s no right answer, only what feels right to you. Not only are some people asexual or aromantic, some people are demi or gray - they experience attraction under more specific circumstances; say, after a bond has been formed, or maybe just more rarely. I don’t know if this is something you’ve ever considered? Have you ever chatted to someone about it? What you’re prioritising at that point also matters; even the people I know who are definitely not aro/ace or demi/grey can go years without pursuing relationships if they are preoccupied or demoralised. I certainly have; a combination of rarely meeting people that ‘clicked’, but also just focusing on other things. But although that may be a part of it for you, it sounds like sexual attraction or relationships may not be something you feel a craving for, or being drawn to. Only you will know, so if that doesn’t feel like it describes you, then it doesn’t.
I’m gonna share something very personal with you, that few people know about me IRL: I’ve never had many crushes; it always seemed to me that other girls were always fiercely crushing. It didn’t help that I had a knack for the unrequited more often than not.  I considered the possibility of being somewhere on the demi/grey spectrum, but really it doesn’ matter; I’m me, and it doesn’t matter if I fall in love once or 100 times, what matters is the connections I make when I make them. I think it has a lot to do with my faceblindness; when your brain finds it hard to remember faces, I wonder if crushes just work differently. Mainly, it becomes more of a problem if you just don’t meet many people, so you can counter it by trying to cast the net a bit wider.  Lots of activities are fulfilling but not social; libraries and hanging out with friends are wonderful, but neither necessarily involve meeting new people who you might click with. If you want to meet people, I’d recommend either clubs and social activities you like, or something like online dating. I realised that I just wasn’t meeting many new people through friends or at work, and most of those people were taken, and I liked very few people. When you open it up to something like online dating, there’s the potential to talk to (and eventually meet) lots of people, so it increases your chance of getting to know or be attracted to someone you like, if you find that’s a rare event for you. If you need to get to know people to feel attracted, then mixing with your friends’ friends, or getting to know colleagues at work, or making friends through a club can be a good way of getting to know lots of people, until you find someone ‘special’.   I want you to know that it’s OK, whether you crush on people all the time, rarely crush on people, or never crush on people. Even if you’re completely asexual and aromantic, it’s completely valid, and it doesn’t mean you can’t form deep, meaningful relationships with people. Asexual people often still form romantic partnerships (with or without sex) if they choose to, and aromantic people often find fulfilment in deep platonic relationships even though there is no romance involved. You talk about desiring affection, and wanting someone to be very close to; those are possible even if you’re not sexually or romantically attracted to someone. Because support and intimacy come in all sorts of forms; I’m proud to say that some of my friendships are very intimate in terms of what we trust each other with (though completely different to my romantic relationships, that doesn’t make them lesser); so you can definitely find people who you can form close, trusting, long-lasting and share your life with them. One of my most wonderful friends is going through a hard time; they were disowned by their abusive family a long time ago, and now they are going through a divorce; they are scared of being left all alone. Having a romantic relationship is no guarantee of lifelong support, because circumstances change. Which is why nurturing meaningful friendships is also important. It’s tough, but we are here for them; out of a close knit group, everyone immediately offered to put them up at the first hint of trouble, and the group shares things we’d share with almost nobody else. The relationships that are close, and last, can look different for everyone; you will find something that works for you.  I think it might help you to read up about aro/ace spectrum, and talk to people who are going through something similar. I also think it might help for you to take some time to think about why you want someone. Connection and intimacy, yes. Having someone you trust. But is that something you desire from a relationship? Is that something you feel you get from your current friends? Is that something you feel you could get from a very close friend or platonic life partner? You don’t have to find the answer to any questions any time soon. But there’s definitely plenty of hope for you to find intimacy and companionship in your life.
15 notes · View notes
skys813 · 3 years
Text
Discovery
Chapter 5 (Arc Finale)
Me: Before we start, is there anything you'd like to say, Anxiety?
Anxiety: *gives me a hard look and then looks away* No.
Me: I see. Let's begin, then. Over the past couple of weeks we've been struggling to deal with a new possibility. I'm aware that in every happy reality Research conjured for us we were in a romantic relationship with implied sexual undertones. The new possibility suggests that we don't find a romantic or sexual partner in the future. Up until now it's only been a vague suggestion, however, after further examination, I thought it would be best to bring it to the council's attention as a legitimate possible plan for the future.
Anxiety: I don't see why this is relevant given that Sexuality is obviously a lesbian. Haven't we been over this already?
Me: Actually, we haven't. That was a suggestion you made, not a fact of life. Which brings us to our first issue; determining Sexuality's true orientation. I'd like to bring some memories to the front if you don't mind. Let's start with a few questions I asked after I first learned what sex was. "Do I have to? Can I be married without doing it? Can I have kids without doing it?" Our first reaction was aversion. Of course, that's normal at the beginning, but those feelings never went away. Instead, it changed to reluctant acceptance that this is what would happen to us. The truth is that we never felt sexual attraction towards anyone, regardless of their gender. We knew instinctively we wouldn't like sex in any form, but we pushed the feeling down and convinced ourselves that it'd be fine and we'd just have to do this for love.
Love: Is that not true? The only lifelong bond that allows us to be as invested and dedicated as we wish to be is a romantic one. Friendship can be strong, but it's not the same, Sky. We would not be prioritized the same way, you can't expect that of someone. If they have a romantic relationship with someone else, they have to prioritize that person above you, regardless of how close you get. Only a romantic bond guarantees you that level of trust and faith in each other. The exclusivity.
Me: I understand and accept that we wouldn't always be prioritized above the person's romantic relationship, but the rest is simply not true. It's possible. Research, if you'd be a dear, and pull up the definitions of a Queerplatonic Relationship and a Zucchini.
Research: A Queerplatonic relationship is defined as "a committed relationship that is neither romantic nor sexual in nature but is based on an emotional bond beyond friendship, often between aromantic and/or asexual people" (AVEN, General FAQ, Definitions). "A zucchini is a partner in a queerplatonic relationship. The commitment level between partners is often considered to be similar to that of a romantic relationship, but with platonic love. Zucchinis may be of any romantic or sexual orientation" (AVENwiki).
Me: Thank you, darling. As you can see, it's entirely possible. In fact, it's so possible and has been felt and established by enough people that there are terms to describe the relationship we want. That's what we were looking for all these years, not some romantic relationship, much less a sexual one.
Anxiety: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you've only proven sexuality is ace. Romance has been on board waiting for Prince to show up since day one. And we already agreed that Sexuality's orientation would be irrelevant to us in such a scenario as we would want him to be fully satisfied in the relationship.
Me: Romance hasn't actually been very vocal about her desires, she's been going along with whatever you and Research determined would be the best scenario. Again, let's pull up some memory files. First, there was her "crush," which she picked out for us much like one would pick out fruit at a stand, and is also a shared experience among other aromantics. We were never jealous of his relationship with our best friend or hurt by it, but instead helped them with arguments and were happy for them when they were happy. She shies away from any possible romantic partners under the guise of obeying our parents and religion when we all know full well we're stubborn and reckless enough that if we had ever desired such a relationship we would've acted on it by now. But we haven't.
Anxiety: Because no one has been worth the risk! We just haven't had the chance to meet the right person and it was never the right time before. We were too young.
Me: No one? When was the last time you saw Romance actually consider anyone as a potential partner?
Anxiety: That's because we're waiting for Prince, no one else is worth considering.
Me: That makes no sense and you know it. We can't find him if we never look. And Romance isn't interested enough to look in the first place. The fact of the matter is that she hasn't been active since we finally settled comfortably in our relationship. We might not use fancy terminology, but that's the nature of the bond we established with our best friend. The meaning we agreed upon for the relationship is the same as the one listed for queerplatonic relationships.
Anxiety: It's just too risky, it's irresponsible to put all your eggs in one basket like that. Friendships are fragile and fleeting-
Me: So is every other relationship. Friendships are not less than other bonds, they're equal and valid and they are what you make them. I believe in this one.
Anxiety: Fine. Don't listen to reason, whatever. But you might want to consider Love's needs and that certain aspects of our dreams would be off the table right off the bat if we went along with this madness, such as children and the home life we were so desperate to create one day. That's a dream you can't deny. You can't adopt children in a platonic relationship, so unless you plan on being a hypocrite and going out to have sex, praying not to catch an STD, and hoping to get pregnant that way, children would be completely off the table for us.
Me: First of all, it wouldn't be hypocritical, asexual people can have sex. But I do agree that that option is extremely unappealing all around. However, it wouldn't be as big a deal as you're making it out to be. Our motherly instincts can still be fulfilled if we add the found family element; we'd build a group of friends and mother them just like we used to. Love, how do you feel about that?
Love: I want children. We've always wanted children, I can't let go of that dream overnight. Mothering some friends isn't the same, I don't know if it'll be enough. I can agree to build new visions and scrap the old ones and incorporate Sexuality and Romance's identities, but you can't ever expect me to stop wanting children. I'm sorry.
Me: Don't be, it's who you are. Thank you for being so understanding. Research, what do you think?
Research: To be absolutely frank with you, I'm glad this is who we are. No husband to tie us down, fewer responsibilities, financial independence. It spells out a lot of opportunities to explore the world that we might not have had otherwise. And, no offense, Love, but children are expensive as hell. Our horizons just quadrupled without that financial and emotional burden. I vote yes.
*an awkward pause where Anxiety fumes on the side and refuses to say anything*
Me: .......Anxiety?
Anxiety: I'm the one who played the dreams. Are you happy now? You were right all along, and I was wrong. We're aro ace.
Me: I know.
Anxiety: *head snaps up* What?! You knew? How? And how long have you known? Why didn't you say anything?
Me: I think the meeting's done now, let's continue this privately. Love, Research, please act according to the council's decision and inform everyone of the verdict. Thank you. Anxiety, walk with me, darling.
Then.....
Sexuality blinks sleepy eyes open and looks around. Someone is by her bedside that she's only ever seen from afar. She tentatively lifts her hand and runs her fingers through Libido's hair. Her birthmate. What was she doing here? Libido stirs and murmurs something incoherent in her sleep before slowly opening her eyes to look back at Sexuality. Libido smiles softly.
Libido: You're finally awake. *jerks up frantically* Oh shit, you're awake! Oh my God, how're you feeling? Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Who do you want me to get for you? Do you want some water? Of course you want some water, what am I thinking-
Sexuality grabs Libido's sleeve as she makes to get up. Libido looks back, concerned and on the verge of panic. Sexuality shakes her head and tugs Libido back to her side.
Libido: Are you sure you don't want me to get you some food and water? You've been out of it for a while.
Sexuality shakes her head again and tugs Libido back down into her chair.
Libido: Okay, then. Um. Let's see, how do you usually communicate with Romance?
Sexuality: *gestures in sign language*
Libido: Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I don't know any signs though. Do you want me to get Research? They might be able to translate. Actually, they'll know what to do about all of this and what you need and-
Sexuality grabs and squeezes Libido's hand and she falls silent. Sexuality smiles briefly and shuts her eyes.
Libido: Oh. You're tired, yeah, that makes sense, too. Sorry about all that. Go back to sleep, sweetie. I'll notify the others when you're ready.
It was a while later before Libido realized that Sexuality had been fully aware and responsive during those few minutes without throwing up. On top of that, she'd made contact with Libido without any noticeable harm befalling her. Sexuality was, at long last, fully recovered.
Meanwhile.....
I walk with Anxiety down to his room. It resembles a library, but instead of books, there are notebooks, each and every one of them filled to the brim with scribbles and half-finished thoughts.
Anxiety: Welcome to my lair, oh annoying one. Have a seat.
Me: I think we need to discuss why you're so against us being aro ace.
Anxiety: I already made it very clear-
Me: The real reason, Anxiety.
Anxiety glowers at me for a few minutes. I don't look away and he finally backs down grudgingly.
Anxiety: *sigh* Do you remember what we were like when we were a kid? What we thought of ourself?
Me: How can I forget? I was the brattiest, most arrogant child I've ever had the displeasure of having to think about.
Anxiety: *shakes his head* I mean before Prince, specifically. We were in a low place and we had accepted that we would die old, bitter, and alone. I just don't want us to go back to that again. It was devastating enough the first time around for all of us. At least like this, it would've only hurt Sexuality and Romance.
Me: Anxiety, listen to me. We are not who we were five years ago. That vision of the future was built on self-hatred and hopelessness, that's why it looked like a doomsday vision. This time we're rebuilding to take care of ourself and every aspect of who we are. We don't have to sacrifice Sexuality and Romance to be happy. We can just build a future that makes all of us happy by accommodating them too. We would've never been happy if we'd tried to suppress them.
Anxiety: *shakes his head stubbornly* We can revert right back to where we were, not enough has changed, not nearly enough. I've just collected more reasons to hate ourself since then, there's no guarantee it won't happen.
Me: *eyes sharp, trying to casually scan the notebooks* There is one thing we could always do..... If you'd allow us, I mean.
Anxiety: *torn between hope and trepidation* Like what exactly?
Me: Burn them.
Anxiety: *stands up and positions himself between me and the nearest shelf* Get out. Get out right now!
Me: *stays seated calmly with my eyes fixed on his* Only the notebooks where you write all our faults. The memories would all stay intact. All your other notebooks would stay exactly where they are. I'm only suggesting we let go of the guilt. Those notebooks are as old as I am, cataloging every tiny mistake we've ever made, every embarrassing thing we've ever done, every regret. You're absolutely right, we can't move forward until we've let go of all of that. We have to move forward, Anxiety. The council has come to a decision. Something has to give or we really might revert back to what we were before.
Anxiety: Then we would've learned nothing! Do you want to repeat all the mistakes we've made?
Me: A gentle reminder that you're the reason we made some of the more serious mistakes.
Anxiety: Don't you think I know that? That's why I refuse to let go of them. If we never forget, if we never stop regretting them and feeling guilty for them, then we'll make up for it and we'll never do those things again.
Me: Darling, that's ridiculous. You do realize that you've written down things as small as chopping the wrong vegetable by accident at our job, right? And the serious errors in judgment are almost all from our childhood, from years ago. We've grown, we've changed, and we're past that now. We can't stay this way forever, hating ourselves for every tiny inconvenience we've ever caused anyone. Please, Anxiety, we have to burn those notebooks.
Anxiety: No. You don't understand. We can't! No! *clutches at his head and his breathing becomes shallow and rapid* I can't. You can't. I can't.
Me: Anxiety? *gets up slowly* Are you okay?
Anxiety: No! We can't! We'll never be good enough. We'll never be happy. You can't erase the past. We're horrible, can't you see that? So horrible. Horrible. Horrible!
I notice a smoky shape formed behind Anxiety, whispering in his ear and grinning at me. The time for conversation is over. I carefully sidestep Anxiety who is too wrapped up in his sobbing to notice my movement and try to punch at the shadow. My hand goes right through it. Right, then. Those notebooks need to burn. Now. I step behind them slowly. The creature turns to watch me but continues whispering to Anxiety. I reach for a random notebook to test out the waters. No reaction besides a widening smirk. Good. I quickly scan through the notebooks until I find the section I need before looking up again. The shadow is still, watching me with a contemplative frown while Anxiety drops to hug his knees and hide his face as he cries. I collect the notebooks loosely in my arms, carefully noting how tense the shadow is getting. It stands between me and the door. I had a feeling it would find a way to stop me if it wanted to, smoke or not. I edge my way back to the table and set the notebooks down. The creature relaxes. I sit down and pretended to start reading one. After a few moments, it loses interest in me and goes back to tormenting Anxiety. It starts to whisper faster, progressively more aggressive. When it looks to be distracted enough, I grab the notebooks and run. I hear a shriek of anger not long after but it doesn't follow me. I run and run until I reach the common room and dump the notebooks on the floor.
Me: Research, get over here! I need lighter fuel! Love, if you could grab a lighter for me, that'd be great! Now!
They get up from the couch without a word and go about getting the requested items as I start tearing the notebooks apart. By the time they get back, I've torn haphazardly through the notebooks and stacked them in a hollow pyramid shape. Research douses them all and I give Love a handful of paper to light before I carefully place them under the rest and watch the fire spread. Anxiety rushes into the room with a much-faded version of the shadow I'd seen behind him, but by then even the topmost of the pyramid had caught fire. The creature shrieks and Anxiety faints into Research's arms.
Research: *sighs* I should've known something like this would happen. I'll take him to the infirmary.
Love: What just happened? Who's Research taking to the infirmary and what did we just set on fire?
Me: Don't worry, Love, everything's going to be okay now. C'mon, let's sit down and I'll tell you everything.
Then.....
Romance jerks awake gasping and clutching at her neck and chest and starts coughing. Sensuality rushes into her room and gives her a crushing hug.
Sensuality: You're alive! You're awake! Oh thank God, I won't be left with just Aesthetic for company!
Aesthetic: Hey! I can hear you, you know. And good grief, get off her before you really kill her. Welcome back, Romance. How're you feeling?
Romance: *gestures for water*
Sensuality: I got you, just a second. *runs out of the room*
Aesthetic: *hands Romance her board and marker* Figured you'd have a lot to say after being out of it for so long. Wanna elaborate on the whole "help Anxiety" message you left? Cause it really didn't help, for the record. What'd you want us to do, tie you and Sexuality up and dump you in the basement for him?
Romance rolls her eyes as Sensuality comes back in and accepts a glass of water with a quick nod of thanks. She downs the whole glass in three giant gulps and sets it down before relaxing back against her pillows a bit. She starts writing.
You're both idiots, for the record. I bet you didn't even try to figure out what I meant, just sat around worrying as usual. It's alright, someone must've figured it out since I'm awake now. We'll all hear the story in detail, I'm sure. Right now, though, I'd much rather discuss Sexuality. Is she okay?
Sensuality: Well......I mean, she's definitely safe now, we made sure of it, right Aesthetic?
Aesthetic: *nods her head with a smile* Don't worry, Romance, we took care of our little sister. She's safe.
Romance: *relaxes a bit more*
Good. At least you did something right. Who's guarding her? Libido, right?
Sensuality: *shocked* Yeah, actually, how'd you know? I thought you'd be upset.
Romance: *smiles* *writes*
They were never meant to be apart. They're different, but they're still birthmates. You know how strong that bond is. They'll figure it out. They just need time. We all do.
0 notes