#everyone needed to take their own advice and don’t read if you didn’t like
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I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 24
Warnings: slight angst, weed and alcohol consumption, mentions of heartbreak, mentions of unrequited feelings, love triangle. not proofread
Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader | Eddie Munson x fem!reader
Summary: You take Robin's advice and take some time to yourself in hopes that it will help you figure out your feelings.
Word count: 5k
A/N: If any of you mind the Eddie x reader in this story, you might want to stop reading cause there will be more Eddie x reader from now but also, still a lot of Steve x reader, as well.
series masterlist
-
Chrissy is watching you with curious eyes as she leans against the counter in Robin’s kitchen, she is snacking on the raspberries that Robin had gotten for her. Robin is mixing the cocktails that you have wished for.
The Cure is playing in the living room, you are sitting on the couch, crossed legged with a magazine on your lap. The rain is paddling down the windows, distant thunder rumbling in the sky. This summer has been a hot and rainy one.
Robin looks over at you, watching the way you change positions and lie back, holding up the magazine as you hum along to the song.
“How long will it take her? What do you think?”
Robin looks over at Chrissy, eyes skipping down to her lips as she pops another raspberry into her mouth.
“What do you mean?” Robin asks, blushing when Chrissy catches her staring.
Chrissy looks down at the counter, hiding her smile. She might not ever get over the very visible effect she has on Robin.
“For her to call Eddie.”
Robin snorts.
“Well, I told her that she needs time to herself.”
“She really does but there is no y/n without Eddie anymore,” Chrissy chuckles.
“Seriously,” Robin mumbles.
Chrissy furrows her brows, eying her slowly, “I mean, it’s not a bad thing. Eddie is good to her.”
She nods.
“Yeah, well, she needs to figure out her feelings and who she wants.”
Chrissy frowns.
“Robin, I don’t think that she wants anyone, right now,” she mumbles, shaking her head at the taller girl, “even if she has feelings for Eddie, it doesn’t mean that she will get into a relationship with him now, she’s not ready and he knows it, that’s why he hasn’t made a move on her yet.”
Robin and Chrissy are aware of Eddie’s feelings – everyone is, everyone except for you.
Anyone can see the way he looks at you. The way his eyes light up whenever he sees you, the way his cheeks flush a deeper color whenever you lean closer to him or take his hand. The way he looks so much happier when you’re around.
“It’s not just Eddie, she still loves Steve and one of them is gonna end up with a broken heart,” Robin mumbles as she reaches for the straws in the drawer.
Chrissy frowns at her, “you’re acting like she’s leading them on, Robin. It’s not like she’s messing around with them both. As far as I know, Steve was the only one she kissed and that was only one time. She’s not even hanging out with him unless we’re all there. I don’t think that he’s ever getting a second chance.”
Robin sighs as she puts the straws into the drinks she just finished making.
“I get it, you care about all of them but nothing is happening between them–”
“Nothing is happening yet. You didn’t see what I saw.”
Chrissy rolls her eyes, she reaches for Robin’s hand, squeezing it tightly as she looks at her.
“Robin, you’re the best, my favorite girl ever, you know that.”
Robin’s heart skips a beat and a smile tugs at her lips as she looks down at the pretty blonde.
“But you need to leave them be. I can assure you, she would never hurt anyone on purpose, lead them on or mess around with them both. She’s not that kind of girl. She needs to figure out her feelings, yes. But she needs to do it on her own, I mean, we can be there for her and give advice but that’s all, nothing we will say or do will change the way she feels or thinks. We all know that she has feelings for them both and that fucking sucks because yeah, one of them will end up hurt if she has to choose between them but that’s not something that she or we need to worry about now. She is not even looking for a relationship and she’s certainly not looking for one with her ex-boyfriend – I mean, maybe in the future but not right now. Besides, I don’t think that he deserves her, not now, not ever.”
Chrissy looks at her with slight disappointment in her eyes, something that makes Robin shrink back a little. Robin has been more protective over Steve’s feelings than yours, it’s something that upsets her a little.
“I know he is your new best friend or whatever but, she is still your friend too and she’s been through a lot, don’t forget about what he did to her. The fact that she even took him back as a friend is more than he deserves. If I was in her place, I would’ve never even given him that chance.”
Guilt crosses Robin’s features and Chrissy knows that she had talked some sense into her.
“And don’t forget that it was Steve who made moves on her. He kissed her. She didn’t kiss him, she didn’t give him false hope, she also never gave Eddie false hope. So, let her deal with her feelings, let her feel – even if she ends up kissing them both or even hooking up with them both, it’s not your problem.”
She is right. Robin knows that she is but all she wanted to do was to keep her friends from hurting.
“Now let’s just drink these cocktails and have some fun,” Chrissy says, smiling at her.
Robin nods, “yeah.”
Chrissy steps closer, putting her hand on Robin’s shoulder, she inches closer and presses her lips against her cheek, kissing her.
It’s not the first time that Chrissy kissed her cheek but it makes her heart explode every time.
“You’re a good friend to them all, Robin. But you need to let them figure it all out on their own.”
Robin is too busy freaking out over the little kiss to come up with any words.
Chrissy moves away, hiding her smile as she looks down. She takes the bowl of raspberries and one of the drinks.
“Let’s go.”
“Y-Yeah,” Robin squeaks out, she closes her eyes when the blonde walks out of the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, she takes the other two drinks and follows her out.
You sit up when the two girls finally join you in the living room again. You close the magazine and throw it on the little table. Robin sits down next to you, handing you the drink she made.
You wrap your hand around the cold glass, taking it from her hand. You notice her pink cheeks and how she tries to hide her face behind her short hair.
“Took you two long enough, what were you doing in there, making out?” You tease her causing her to blush even harder.
She turns to you with wide eyes, hitting your arm, softly.
Chrissy giggles, staring at Robin.
“So, what kind of cocktail is it?” You ask, looking down at the pink drink.
“It’s a pink mojito,” Robin mumbles, rolling her eyes at the smirk on your face. At least you look a little more relaxed than you did earlier.
“Ooh! That sounds good!” You smile, looking between the two blushing girls, you hold your glass up, “well, cheers, girls!”
Chrissy smiles at the excited look in your eyes as you eagerly take a sip of the drink.
“Cheers,” Robin chuckles, flashing Chrissy a smile as she wraps her lips around the straw.
Your eyes widen as the sweetness hits your taste buds. You place your hand on Robin’s shoulder, turning towards her, excitedly.
“That’s so good, Robin! What the hell are you doing at Scoops Ahoy? You should be working at a bar!”
She chuckles, giving you a proud smile, “thanks.”
“You could be a bartender.”
Robin shrugs, patting herself on the shoulder as she takes another sip.
“A really hot one too,” Chrissy comments, causing Robin to almost choke on her drink.
You can’t hold back your laughter this time. You look at Chrissy, who is giggling at Robin’s reaction. You would be lying if you said that you are not impressed by Chrissy’s ability to flirt without turning into a blushing mess. She used to be so shy and awkward, now she seems more confident and happier than ever. It makes you happy to see her like this.
When you turn back to Robin, you almost burst into laughter again. Her cheeks are glowing.
When you first met her, you were a little intimidated by her, thinking that she was a little mean because of the way she would tease Eddie sometimes. You thought that she was someone who is very sure of herself and knows what she wants and how to get it. But it turns out that she turns into a shy, stuttering mess around the girl that she likes. You watched her flirt with Chrissy and fail miserably, something that makes Chrissy adore her even more.
“You good, Robin?” You ask, wiggling your brows at her.
“Yes, I’m fine! I’m gonna need a few of these tonight,” Robin mutters under her breath, staring down at her drink.
You know she expected something else of this night, something like you spilling all your true feelings to her but instead, she is the one getting teased.
By the look on her face, you already know that, that is gonna change soon.
Robin looks at the smile on your face, the one that doesn’t even reach your eyes. She knows what's going on in the back of your mind. A part of her wants you to just let all your guards down and spill all your feelings to her but the other part wants you to just let loose and have fun.
“Drink up, girl. I got some more cocktails for you to try.”
“Don’t have to tell me twice.”
It’s been a long time since you had spent time with them alone, a girls night was long overdue. There are certain things that you can’t talk about with Eddie or Steve. Only as your mind finally relaxes after a few drinks, do you realize just how much you missed them. You missed Robin and her rambles or how she tries to make you laugh with stories about her work days with Steve. You missed Chrissy, it’s been a while since you had been with her, since you had gone shopping with her or had a girls night like this. You have been so in your head, dealing with your own thoughts and feelings that you haven’t even been aware of how much you’ve neglected your friendship with them.
Neither Chrissy or Robin have ever pulled away from you. It was you who pulled away from them. Not because you didn’t want to be around them anymore but because you wanted them to have the chance to be alone and get to know one another without you standing in between them. And, it wasn’t just that. Chrissy’s past feelings for you made you worry about how Robin would feel about you and your friendship with them both.
Heather is rarely ever around anymore. It’s not something you blame her for. You know what it’s like to be in love and wanting to spend every moment with that person. You just miss her and your girls night with her.
The smell of nail polish and alcohol and the vanilla scented candle all mingle together, normally, you would have had a headache already had you not been so tipsy.
Chrissy is trying not to mess up your nails as she carefully applies the black color to your nails, all while giggling after a few too many drinks.
“I swear, you’re gonna mess this up, Chris,” you say, giggling as she shakily holds the applicator.
“I’m not gonna mess it up! I’m a pro!” She flicks her hair back.
You snort.
“I told you not to do it drunk!”
“I am not drunk, do you see me struggling?” She tilts her head, giving you a pointed look as she gestures to your left hand.
You hold it up, squinting your eyes as you look at the colored nails. Not a single drop of black is painting the skin around your nails. You are impressed to see it done so perfectly, considering how the girl was giggling the whole time as she applied the nail polish.
“Wow, that’s actually impressive.”
“Told you, I’m a pro.” She gives you a proud smile.
You hear Robin in the kitchen, preparing another round of drinks. You watch Chrissy, a smile tugs at your lips. She looks content, her skin is glowing and she is wearing a constant smile on her face.
She is happy now.
How have you not noticed how sad she had been before she met Robin?
How have you not realized why she hated Steve so much?
How have you not figured out how she felt about you?
You had always been so focused on him, on your feelings, on your pain. You never noticed what was going on around you or who you were hurting.
She did so much for you. She was always there for you. She was there when you cried over him. She was there when he kept hurting you. She was there when he broke your heart.
Could you have done the same for someone you were in love with?
You have spent so many nights wondering what could have been if you and Steve had never crossed that line, if you just stayed friends.
Would you have to watch him fall in love with Nancy?
Would you have to watch him get hurt?
Would you have to watch him get his heart broken by her over and over again?
Would you have to pick up the pieces over and over again when he’d crawl back to her only to get hurt again?
Would you have to watch him get his heart completely crushed when she’d leave him for someone else?
Would you have to watch him love her even after what she did?
Could you do what she did?
Could you pick up the pieces and be there for him while loving him so much? While he’d love someone else?
Your smile falls and your heart sinks a little when you think about the way she felt.
“Hey,” you whisper.
She looks at you through her bangs, “hi.”
“I’m sorry.”
Her brows pull together, she eyes the sad look on your face. She leans back, letting go of your hand so she can put the applicator back into the little bottle.
“What are you sorry for?”
“I was a pretty shitty friend for not noticing how you felt, back then.”
Her eyes soften, a sigh falls from her lips. She shakes her head at you, “no, it’s–”
“It’s not okay and I’m just really sorry. You were always there for me and I was only ever focused on my feelings.”
Her blue eyes flash with understanding. She is not mad at you, she could never be.
“Well, I would be too if I was in your place. You really loved him and he really hurt you. I don’t blame you for how you felt or how you dealt with your pain. He was the one for you – hell, if I imagine myself in your place, I’d probably forget about everyone around me! I would just pack my stuff and run away just because I wouldn’t be able to look at her!”
“Would you?”
Her shoulders slump and a sad smile tugs at her lips, “no, I could never leave you and Heather.”
“And Robin.”
“She’s the heartbreaker in this scenario.”
“Oh,” you nod, giggling before you realize what she just said. Your face grows serious and your eyes widen, “o-oh!”
Her eyes flash with amusement when she watches the realization cross your features.
“You’re in love with her? Like, you’re in love with her! Like, she is ‘the one’, the one?!” You say in a hushed whisper.
She nods, unable to hide the smile on her face.
You squeal as quietly as you can, clapping your hands together as a bright smile appears on your face.
“Oh my god, Chrissy!”
You throw your arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug.
“Careful with the nails!” She says, panickedly before she falls into a fit of giggles when you squeeze her tightly.
“This is so exciting, Chris. Oh, I’m so happy for you– wait, are you two together? Please tell me you are, you are so cute together, oh my god, I’m gonna cry.”
You feel her body shaking a little as she pulls back from the hug, still laughing at your reaction.
“Yeah,” she whispers, “but it’s still a secret!”
“Since when!? How? Who asked who? I need to know everything!” You whisper.
She grabs your hands, grinning from ear to ear, she opens her mouth but before she can tell you anything, she gets interrupted by Robin who comes back with more drinks, cheerfully humming along to Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac.
She halts in her tracks, looking between you two, “what are you two whispering about? Some gossip you can’t share with me?” She jokes.
“Oh no, y/n was just about to tell us something.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, really?” Robin asks, smiling when she notices how carefree and relaxed you look, for once.
Chrissy presses her lips together, trying not to laugh when you keep smiling despite not knowing what to say.
“I-I uh, I just, I love you guys so much. You’re my best friends.”
Chrissy smiles at you and so does Robin.
“We love you too,” Robin chuckles, “is that the alcohol speaking though?”
You shake your head, “no, I really do love you, you’re both amazing and I appreciate you two so much.”
Robin’s gaze softens, she gets down on the ground next to you, “alright, group hug, please.”
You and Chrissy laugh a little as scoot closer to her, throwing your arms around Robin’s shoulders.
“Careful with the nails!” Chrissy scolds you when she realizes that they haven’t fully dried yet.
“Yeah, yeah,” you sigh.
-
Five days had passed since you had last seen Eddie. You have never spent this much time without him, you and him have been inseparable from the moment he stepped into your life.
Robin told you to take some time to yourself, to spend time with her and Chrissy or to just be by yourself because apparently it’s something that you desperately need. Some alone time. So, that’s what you did. You took some time to yourself. You got your hair done. You went shopping with Chrissy after work on Tuesday, you went out for dinner with Heather on Wednesday and on Thursday you fought to urge to visit Eddie at work.
You had already caved on Tuesday and called him late at night. He sounded sad when he picked up the phone, until he heard your voice. You had spent two hours talking to each other, both wearing smiles on your faces as you laid on your beds and talked like you haven’t seen each other in forever.
And then you did the same on Wednesday and Thursday.
Tonight, you are at Heather’s party.
You are wearing a new outfit, you did your hair differently and let Heather do your make up before you helped her prepare everything for the party. You didn’t feel like coming, you didn’t feel like spending your Friday night like this. But, Robin, Chrissy and Heather all convinced you to come.
You would rather be somewhere else.
Now, three drinks in and a few drags from Argyle’s joint, you feel sadder than ever. Instead of having fun on the dancefloor, you are in the garden, laying on one of the pool loungers and looking up at the stars in the sky, thinking about Eddie and Steve.
A cold bottle of beer resting in your hand. The music from the house, the chatter and the laughter filling the silence out here.
It’s been a long time since you had spent this much time by yourself or with just your girls. Robin wanted you to confront your feelings but, it’s not something that you had done this week, at all. If anything, you had done everything to avoid it.
You keep running and running and you don’t know how to stop. You are afraid of what you are feeling. You are afraid of what would change if you would finally acknowledge your feelings.
You don’t want to acknowledge them, you don’t want to risk losing something great.
In the past few days, you have spent a lot of time thinking about what it would be like, if you and Steve tried again.
Would things work out this time?
Or would you ruin everything beyond repair this time around?
What would it be like if you let your feelings for Eddie in?
Would you ruin yet another amazing friendship?
You sigh, closing your eyes as you shake your head at yourself. You finish the rest of your beer before you get up, swaying on your feet a little. Only now, do you realize how tipsy you really are.
“Shit,” you mumble, placing your hand on your forehead. You squint your eyes, staring down at the grass, your vision blurs a little.
You certainly can’t drive home like this, but it’s all you want. You want to go home. You don’t want to be here. You walk around the house, not bothering to get back inside and tell your friends that you’re leaving.
-
Eddie had a lot of bad days, though the past few ones have been one of the worst. His life had gotten so much better ever since you had stepped foot in it, you gave him something that he never had much of before; happiness and love. Though, the love was more platonic on your side, he never minded it, it’s more than he had ever gotten before. It’s something that he always felt privileged to have.
Who would have thought that he would ever get the chance to have someone like you in his life, in the first place?
Now that you’ve been gone, he got a taste of what his life would be like if you left again. And he hates it. He can’t stand it. The thought of you leaving makes him feel so lost and sad.
You’d take his heart with you and you would never even know it.
It was bad enough when you had called him on Monday, telling him that you’d be busy with Robin and Chrissy later that night and had to cancel your plans with him. He knew that Robin was the one who got in between you and it angers him a little.
She is doing it because of Steve.
‘Take a step back, Eddie. I don’t want you getting hurt.’ She had said to him the day at the lake. Except, she doesn’t really care about his feelings anymore. Eddie had done nothing to indicate that he was planning to make a move on you. You are still vulnerable. You are not ready for another relationship and you haven’t given him any big signs that you are even interested in him. Besides, you still love Steve and you might not ever stop loving him.
That’s why he would never think of making a move. He would rather stay your friend than lose you because he cannot keep his feelings to himself. It was bad enough when he had lashed out on you after he found out about the kiss.
If you had to choose between Steve and him, he is certain that he would lose.
Eddie looks down at the notebook and the song he had finished writing this week. At least, his sadness had inspired something.
A knock on the door startles him a little, he furrows his brows as he looks up at the clock on the wall, it’s almost 12am. He gets up, closing the notebook before he makes his way over to the front door.
He opens it with a frown on his face.
“What– y/n?”
“Hi!” You say with a cheerful and very drunk voice. You are swaying on your feet a little with your hands behind your back. “I got something for you,” you smile, excitedly.
“You – what? Sweetheart, what the hell are you doing, walking around at night?”
You don’t seem to care about the seriousness on his face. Instead, you reveal the ‘surprise’, holding up a bat plushie in front of his face.
“I saw this and it reminded me of you, so I got this for you – well, I actually stole it from the gas station after I went inside to buy doritos,” you mumble, as realization crosses your face and you start frowning, “I forgot the doritos, fuck!”
Eddie’s eyes soften, the worry still stays in his features but he’s more focused on the cute pout on your face and the bat that you had gotten for him.
He takes your hand in his, pulling you inside the trailer, “c’mere.”
“Are you okay?” He asks, eyeing you up and down, he notices the new outfit.
“Yeah. No, I mean, yes, I am okay. But, the party was boring and I-I missed you, Eddie,” you say as your shoulders slump and you look up at him with sad eyes, still holding the plushie. “I missed you so much.”
His heart flutters in his chest, his gaze softer than ever as he looks down at you.
“I missed you too, sweetheart.”
Your eyes light up and you smile, holding up the bat, “I think I might have to keep him so I don’t have to miss you anymore.”
Amusement flashes in his eyes and he laughs, “I thought you bought – wait no, stole him for me! Jesus Christ, sweetheart. I’m a bad influence for you, you’re out here stealing plushies.”
“I just needed to have him! He’s my little Eddie.”
He chuckles, shaking his head at you, “you’re so weird.”
You pout at him and that alone causes his stomach to flutter and his heart to beat a little faster. He will never not welcome the feelings you leave him with. The effect that you have on him is unlike anything he had ever felt before. Eddie was always afraid of this, of falling for someone, because he always knew that he would end up hurt, that love means pain. But with you, he doesn’t mind what it will be, even if it ends in pain and heartbreak for him, he doesn’t care. You will never know.
He stares at the happy look in your eyes as your eyes flicker back and forth between the bat and him. The glitter on your skin glistens beneath the golden light in the living room. Your skin looks so soft, your hair so shiny from whatever you had put in it. The smile that lingers on your lips makes his heart flutter so strongly.
“You’re so beautiful.”
Your brows knit together, a bigger smile appearing on your face, “thank you.”
You step closer to him and he watches with curious eyes. You inch closer and closer, until you’re right in front of him. You throw the bat on the small table and then, you wrap your arms around Eddie’s middle and hug him tightly, taking him by surprise.
He chuckles, trying to hide the fact that he is freaking out, right now.
You’re always affectionate, just not like this.
He wraps his arms around you, moving his hand through your hair. He smells your shampoo, your perfume, the hairspray in your hair but also, the weed and the alcohol.
“How much did you drink tonight?” He asks, mumbling into your hair as he leans down.
You press yourself further into his chest, tightening your grip on him, “not that much.”
“Right,” he chuckles, “that’s why you stole a plushie and are so cheerful – I’m still mad at you for walking through town, by the way. It’s dangerous.”
“I’m fine, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, but you still should’ve called me. I would’ve picked you up.”
“I wanted to get some fresh air, and some doritos,” you frown.
“We’ll get you some tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay,” you sigh, pulling back to look up at him, “can I stay over tonight?” You ask, before you hold your hand in front of your mouth, yawning.
He smiles at you, “of course, come on. Let’s get that make up off first.”
He takes your hand in his, giving it a squeeze as he leads you into his bedroom. You take a seat on his bed and tiredly lean down to take your shoes off but he tells you to sit back. He kneels down in front of you, pushing your hands away. He wraps his hand around your right ankle, placing your foot on his lap, his fingers graze your skin softly and you suddenly feel more awake than ever. He slowly loosens the strap around your ankle. His brows are pulled together, a concentrated look on his face.
All you can focus on is his touch and the way it makes you feel. The way something more blossoms in your chest as you feel his hands on your skin.
When he is done, he looks up and you quickly look away with a blush on your cheeks. He gets up and walks over to his dresser, opening the first drawer, he picks out a shirt.
“Alright, you get changed and I’m getting those makeup remover thingies,” he mumbles as he hands you the shirt.
You giggle at the confused look on his face.
He gives you a smile before he leaves the room, closing the door behind him.
You get up and take your jewelry off first. Placing the rings and your necklace on the little nightstand. You take your top off first and then your skirt, throwing both items over the chair in his room before you put his shirt on. Instantly feeling much better in it.
You sit down on his bed again and lay back on the pillows, closing your eyes for just a moment before you already feel the tiredness washing over you.
“Uh, don’t fall asleep on me now, sweetheart,” Eddie says as he walks back into the room.
“I’m tired,” you whine.
“You can sleep in a few minutes,” he chuckles as he sits down beside you.
It’s not the first time that you are wearing his shirt, but every time he sees you in his clothes, he feels his heart skip a little faster.
“Come on,” he whispers, reaching for your wrist to pull you up. You groan but let him pull you up. You open your eyes, looking at him tiredly.
“So, tell me, what did you do tonight?” He asks, brushing your hair back. “Besides being a little thief?”
You giggle, leaning into his touch when he cups your cheek. He takes out one of the wipes.
“Well, I smoked a little weed and then I watched Chrissy and Robin being all flirty with each other.”
“What’s new?” He laughs as he begins to remove your makeup.
You sigh at the feeling, loving how gentle he is.
“And then I was just by myself cause I didn’t want to talk to anyone.”
“No?”
You shake your head, watching him. You eye his hair, the curls that never seem to look bad, you stare at his soft skin, at the beautiful brown eyes that always give you so much comfort, the ones you could stare into forever. Your eyes flicker down to his lips and for a moment, you let them linger, letting your mind go to places that Robin tried to keep you away from. You look at his nose and wonder how it can still look so perfect after all the fights he had been in.
Eddie is so beautiful.
Your eyes move down to his neck, to the chain hanging around it, to the tattoo that peeks out from underneath his shirt before your eyes move back to his, you watch the way he stares at your lips, you feel the way your heart races in your chest.
“Eddie?” You whisper.
His eyes meet yours.
Unbeknownst to you, his heart is racing like crazy.
“Yes?”
You look down at his lips again and suddenly, you feel the urge to feel them on yours.
“You’re really pretty.”
His eyes widen, he freezes, halting his movements but still cupping your cheek. His cheeks heat up.
“Thank you,” he whispers, blushing.
“And so sweet, you’re always so good to me.”
“You deserve it, y/n,” he whispers. He tries to hide his nervousness behind a smile.
You don’t say anything else after this. You just keep smiling at him, staring at him the way you did before as he continues to carefully take your makeup off. But, something shifts in your eyes and something puts a shadow over the happiness in your eyes, your smile begins to fade the longer you spend too much time in your thoughts.
Eddie knows exactly what or who you are thinking about at this moment and it makes his heart sink a little.
You might find your way to him late at night.
But Steve will always be the one that lingers.
At least, that’s what Eddie believes.
But then, you say something that might change everything forever.
“I wish I met you first, Eddie.”
-
next chapter
only tagging friends and mutuals
@taintedcigs @hellfire--cult @littledemondani @mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @succubusmunson @trashmouth-richie @xxhellfirebunnyxx @nemesis729 @take-everything-you-can @sherrylyn628 @somethingvicked @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @chrissymjstan
#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington angst#steve harrington fic#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington fanfic#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson angst#eddie munson fluff
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Now as much as I love the new game, MC seems to be wayy too happy. I mean yeah, seeing the past and aiding the brothers seems to be great and all…but
Wouldn’t you miss the memories you made with the present time them more?
Obey Me! Gn Mc missing their own time frame
I kinda made Mc similar to a servant similar to Barbatos even if we’re their attendant.
Platonic or Romantic, you can choose who. Besides Luke who is always platonic
Even though you still adored the brothers and your other friends
You desperately wanted to go back to your time frame
Clutching onto your pillow in your bedroom (wrong all wrong, you’re supposed to be in the House Of Lamentation with them.) You bit onto your pillow to stifle your tears and wrapped your body around the long pillow
It wasn’t that Solomon was bad. Oh no, not at all. You adored him and admired how he went back to the past for you
(Which made your homesickness and guilt even worse when you felt as if you were being selfish and ungrateful)
But you missed them
You missed how Lucifer used to cover you with a blanket if you were outside at the table working on homework in the cold. How he used to laugh at small things like you accidentally insulting him or when you don’t know and find out about demon activities and food.
You missed Mammon who used to make you go shopping with him when you spent too much time working on whatever. Who always gave or bought you anything you needed for any sort of thing even if it was small. When he was protective of you or listening to something that you didn’t like. Like you weren’t a bother.
Leviathan who played games with you when you needed to relax. Who battled using the same damn character in Super Smash Devils and won every single time. Who gave you advice on how to take care of snakes and such in the devildom. You missed squealing over characters that you liked with him, pointing out each other’s type.
You missed Satan who listened to your worries about everyone and who you could count on to relate to you. Who gave you books that reminded him of you and your likes. Missing how he read to you detective books and how you read back to him about fantasy books.
Asmodeus who always reminded you about how beautiful you are despite anything you claim is ugly. Lest it be your weight, your eyes, ears, body type or anything you hate about yourself, he would always call you a beautiful flower. You missed him and how you two tried out outfits for each other, or how he would ask you to be his makeup dummy.
Beelzebub when he used to take you out to new restaurants or when he convinced you to try to cook a new thing he found on a random menu somewhere. You miss how he made you laugh while he inhaled your leftover food you couldn’t eat when you were full. When he passed you his snacks when your stomach grumbled.
Belphegor you missed even though he had murdered you in the past. You missed your napping buddy. Someone who helped you sleep when you needed in the middle of the day. Who helped you get rid of nightmares with a single touch to your head, letting you sleep peacefully. You missed him and how he slept next to you or Beel.
Even the others you missed!
You missed how hearty and warm Diavolo’s laugh was. How he spoke with confidence and kindness to everyone despite being insulted. You missed how he complimented you and how he’d help you with any situation or problem in the devildom.
You missed Barbatos who would help you in any situation as well. Who’d help you with any questions no matter how small. He gave you amazing cleaning advice and small items he would find that were beautiful to you. How despite the problem, he’d always help you in need.
Simeon’s words of encouragement and how he’d listen to every word and remembered it down to how you said it. How he always made you laugh for his poor technology skills. How sweet and helpful he was to you.
Luke who despite being teased by the brothers you lived with, treated you with respect and kindness. You miss his homemade cupcakes and sweet treats that he’d make especially for you. How he’d pout at being called a chihuahua.
You missed Raphael who’s stoticness would surprise and make you giggle every time he wouldn’t get a joke. Who despite being strict, treated everyone the same no matter what. His attention to detail has helped you on so many occasions.
Thirteen’s spunky behavior that almost got you in trouble at times but you had so much fun with her. You missed her and how she made you smile when you were upset about something, no matter how tiny the issue is. How you helped her prank Solomon many times.
Even Mephistopheles’s insults, that were all bark no bite. His honest opinions of your writing has helped you very much. You missed his straightforward advice and how stupidly entertaining your arguments with were.
…
“Please…I wanna go back.”
Your hands clench as your heart twists and whirls with devastation, grief, anger, and envy.
You want to see them again. You want to see your best friends, you want to see the patched up brothers you called your family.
You want and want and want
But.
You can’t have.
Remnants of your former powers regarding the pacts and magic spark as you look at your hand
Bits of red, yellow, purple, green, pink, orange, and indigo spark in your hand before dying
The pact marks on you have faded in their vivid colors
You choke on your tears and the words “Let me go back” stuck in your throat
Anger at the one who threw you in this timeframe
…
“You can cry, you know.”
Huh?
A warm hand rubs your back as you turn your head around and see Solomon with a warm but bittersweet smile
He puts his hand on your shoulder as you sit up and stare at the blanket
“You do not need to hold back on your tears. I am speaking as your friend. It saddens me to see you hold onto your grief. I can go back to the current time of course, but I know how hurt you are and how homesick. You miss them I can imagine.”
That’s right. You’re not exactly all alone again like when you first started out in the Devildom
“Please. Let go.”
And the dam breaks
You clutch onto Solomon’s back as you throw up all the words out of your mouth
Solomon gently lays his hands on your back, one rubbing your back and one just staying still, letting you know he’s still there with you
You miss this. If he were gone, you would’ve missed Solomon and how he relates to you so much. How lonely and isolated you felt at the time, he knew. He doesn’t need any reason from you if you just needed to be left alone or just needed a hug.
You know you have to go and attend to the brothers tomorrow morning. You still have to help them and try to get closer all over again. You still need to learn about how everyone was during this time period. You still need to know why Barbatos and Solomon have such a strained friendship and how the pact was made.
You still need to do so many things but for now, you can just cry.
And that’s good enough.
#mindlessclow#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me x reader#obey me lucifer x reader#obey me mammon x reader#obey me leviathan x reader#obey me satan x reader#obey me asmodeus x reader#obey me beelzebub x reader#obey me belphegor x reader#obey me diavolo x reader#obey me simeon x reader#obey me solomon x reader#obey me barbatos x reader#obey me raphael x reader#obey me thirteen x reader#obey me mephisto x reader#obey me luke#obey me angst#obey me hurt/comfort
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What Does Your Inner-Child Think Of You? • Pick-a-Card
• Pile One •
Your inner-child views you as someone who’s quite complete within themselves. That you’ve created a good life for yourself thanks to your sweet energy. For those with children, they view your family as extremely beautiful. They’re extremely happy about the life that you’ve created for the both of you. They also view you as a go-getter. Someone who’s very ambitious and eager to get what you want, which they like a lot. There’s also something here about your thought processes and your communication. I’m hearing that they feel as though you can easily disarm people who may try to overpower you in conversations. They love your wit and your quick responses that you give to people sometimes. You’re very swift at asserting your opinions, and if this is something that your inner-child struggled with, they see you as a very admirable older version of themselves.
They view you to be very combative when needed. You’re a fighter in some way. You had to fight to assert physical actions towards your goals because there were people around you constantly trying to assert their opinions over them. But you managed to defend your goals and personal beliefs and went after them regardless. There’s a repetition of you being very comfortable in your life in this present moment, all thanks to your assertive nature. And they also like the people who you keep yourself around too. Your support system or a community that you’ve found yourself in. They admire how you can move with facts more than feelings. Not through suppressing your emotions but having complete control over them. Regardless of the way that you feel, they believe that you can still manage to see the truths of people and situations.
Extended Reading: What Would Your Inner-Child Like To Tell You?
Where To Find It:
Kofi (Individual Reading Purchase)
Patreon (Soul Tribe Advanced Tier)
• Pile Two •
They view you as someone with a lot of responsibility that can burden you at times. Someone who everyone comes to for help or advice. You’re extremely patient and caring, which they assume is the reason for this. However, I do believe that they think that this may all be too much for you a lot of the time. They view you as someone who has made catering to others their duty, while sacrificing themselves in the process. I’m hearing that they see people leach off of you. Specifically your nurturing energy because you’re so loving. People suck your energy dry and they don’t like it. They feel like this puts you at a standstill within your own life. Blocking your ability to build your own stability. They view you as someone who forgets about their own foundation to be a foundation to others.
They view you as a very strong mother figure. A motherly energy to others as well as whatever abundance you’d like to build for yourself. However, they do think that this makes you a target of people who want to take from you and not give anything back. To them, you’re someone who has boundaries that are easily knocked over by what people say to you. Things that they say so that they can get access to your energy. And they view you as someone who’s easily defeated in conversation when people want to cause verbal conflict for you, simply because you try to assert your own opinions finally. They believe that you’re very easily silenced by others. There’s also a lot of mental defeat that you experience from your own conflicting thoughts about people who you’ve lost. You always seem to think that you just didn’t give these people enough love, without acknowledging the blind spot regarding how they were draining your energy as much as possible. I feel like even your inner child can see your motivations for taking on so many responsibilities for other people - and they believe that it’s because this is the way that you try to prevent people from leaving you. Even if they couldn’t really put this into their own words if they had to, they can see that you’re not respected by people because you don’t respect your own boundaries. That your care and work for other people isn’t respected. And that you don’t really respect yourself and what you need.
Extended Reading: What Would Your Inner-Child Like To Tell You?
Where To Find It:
Kofi (Individual Reading Purchase)
Patreon (Soul Tribe Advanced Tier)
• Pile Three •
Your inner-child views you as someone who’s an extremely good friend/partner. Someone who has genuine connections with others because you have a genuine connection with yourself. They also view you as someone who has very high standards for yourself as well as anyone who comes into your life. Not in a toxic way that puts unnecessary pressure on yourself or others. These high standards are here because you know what you do and don’t deserve from others, and you know what others do and don’t deserve from you. You’re a big visionary in relation to who you want to be, what type of people you want around you, and the type of life that you want to create. They also feel like you have a very strong connection with them too. They view you as someone who takes good care of them. These high standards are also here because you’re adamant on protecting what you’ve already manifested for yourself. Your stable foundation within self and your physical life too. You’re not letting anyone mess that up 😂.
They see your extremely strong boundaries with other people. Especially in relationships. It’s like you’re trailblazing through life by going after new opportunities and discovering new inspirations to follow, so if someone who you meet can’t fit into what you visualise for your life, then they’re not allowed within it. They view you as someone who also has created a happy foundation for either your home, your personal projects, or both. You’re someone who’s all about living life happily, finding things to celebrate, and working with others who are on the same wavelength as you to build a happy life together. They also think that you’re very welcoming to to other people. You could be a great host for others when they visit your home, or you’re just very welcoming to the right people when they come into your life. You’re willing to share your stability and what you value in your life with those who you feel deserve it.
Extended Reading: What Would Your Inner-Child Like To Tell You?
Where To Find It:
Kofi (Individual Reading Purchase)
Patreon (Soul Tribe Advanced Tier)
#pick a card#psychic readings#pac#tarot reading#pick a photo#pac reading#pick a picture#pick a card reading#tarot pick a card#pick a pile
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would you like some cake? (pt 2)
forethoughts: if you want to read part one it's would you like some new toys :D. i'm literally going to go home in a few hours and pull for arlecchino i'm so excited so happy so on adrenaline i can't ahhhh
notes: gn!child!reader, but fem!reader in mind. NOT AN X READER, READER IS A CHILD!!!
You don’t remember when was the last time you stepped foot in the playroom again. Father said she would take you to a different playroom, away from the others. You spent every day in that new playroom with Father. Father always gave you an option to go back. The door was always wide open. Distant sounds of the other children laughing and cheering rang in your ears.
Father said you were getting better day by day. Much more used to your new toys. Father even allowed you to bring your toys with you everywhere. One inside your boots, one strapped to your belt. Father even allowed you to bring one to your room.
Your room. Instead of the room you shared with the others, Father had moved you. Closer to her office. You have your own room now. Father had decorated it herself, she said. The mattress felt like three of the mattresses in your old room stacked upon each other. The room made you feel tiny. Alone. But Father was always there. Father was always with you.
Father said you were almost as skilled as the guards that stood outside the orphanage.
Father was proud.
Father was proud of you.
Father always read you bedtime stories. Tucked you in, planting a soft kiss on your forehead before turning off the lights. Father always taught you to not listen to what the other children said. That the only person you should be listening to is her and yourself.
You don’t remember when was the last time you felt eyes casted on you and words piercing your heart when you ate your meals. You still ate your meals in the hall with the other children; Father was adamant that you would still have some interaction with the others. But you didn’t care.
Father made sure you knew your worth.
~
Using your chopsticks, you fished up a bundle of noodles, putting it in your spoon and then in your mouth. You chewed, and then fished up another bundle of noodles. The children behind your back were loud and rowdy as usual. Father said to pay no mind to them. This time was different.
They were talking about Father.
It was Father’s birthday tomorrow.
Father was always secretive and didn’t reveal much about herself. They were planning on surprising her with a big party in the playroom. Of course, you weren’t part of it.
Father was always there for you, you thought. Never shy from giving you gifts and words of advice on the days you needed them.
You stood up from your seat, carrying your empty udon bowl to the sinks, giving it a quick rinse before putting it on the racks. You walked out of the hall, letting your feet take you where your mind wanted to go.
You closed the door to your new room, taking a seat behind your desk as you took out two sheets of paper, and some crayons Father had gifted you. While the rest played and had fun, you were in your room, scribbling away as best as you could with your black crayon. With your second piece of paper, you took out more colors from the box.
Father was always there for you.
You’d be a bad kid if you didn’t do the same, right?
The other’s idea of a celebration was tricking Father to go to the playroom, then cheering and singing happy birthday to Father while they played with Father. That meant that Father was unavailable to give you your daily lessons on how to properly play with your new toys. Fortunately you were busy too.
You entered the kitchen the moment you heard everyone else chant happy birthday in all different keys, the wide empty space with high workstations and cabinets sending doubt into your head. You shook it away, closing the door behind you with two hands, before taking a small tour around the space you would work with. Seeing that dinner was just served, all the cooks were done, leaving you a window of time to carry out your plan. Using a nearby stepping stool, you climbed onto the counters, reaching the high cabinets that were attached to the roof. Just as fate intended it to be a cooking book fell onto your lap, flipped to the page you wanted to go on. You closed the cabinet door, placing the cooking book by your side as you placed your boots on the stepping stool.
Father said you were good at looking for what you needed.
Father said you were good at doing what you wanted to do.
You prayed Father was right.
With the big book set on one counter, you scurried around the kitchen, gathering all the required ingredients and items you needed next to the book. You found two more stepping stools, allowing you to move around on each stool like different stations.
Father said your academic level was higher than the rest; you were doing exams meant for ten year olds.
“Pour… flour… in a bowl…” You muttered, finger on each word. You did as the instructions said, scooping out some flour and dumping it into a bowl.
“Egg…Sugar…Mix… Bake…”
For the rest of the day, you buried yourself in work, making what they called a ‘batter’. You had nearly dropped your hard made batter when you had to place the mold inside the oven, a new lesson learnt the hard way. After as much time as the book said, you took the mold out, this time wearing the funny shaped gloves on top of the counter next to the oven. With all your strength, you lifted the baked circular batter into a cart, before wheeling the cart back to your workstation. As the batter was baking, you had prepared a frosting, as they called it. Using a flat rectangle shaped object that had its corners rounded out, you spread the frosting over the top of the cake, before adding a fresh cherry to the top.
The celebration had stopped.
You heard Father’s voice tell the children it was time for bed. You gripped onto the counter, trying not to get shaken by the earthquake created by the hoard of orphans storming up to their room. Holding your breath, you waited until you couldn’t hear Father’s footsteps anymore, before letting out a sigh. You placed your finished cake on a pretty plate, using two hands to hold each side before exiting the kitchen.
~
You let out a deep breath, looking at the gold and crimson ornate double door in front of you. With the papers in your pocket, cake in hand, you used your shoulder to turn the doorknob, stumbling into Father’s office.
“Y/N?” Father. You turned around, facing Father. Father was behind her desk, hand moving from her forehead to her chin as she looked at you with a playful grin. Since your back was still turned to her, she couldn’t see the cake you made.
“I was worried sick about you, my dear. I didn’t see you at the celebration the others held for me.” Father chuckled. “Where were you? Not even the caretakers or workers could find you.”
You opted to not answer her question, rather hobble your way over to Father’s desk with your little legs. You placed your creation on the same place Father had set you when you got injured. Father looked at the cake, her eyebrows raised as she tried to conceal the grin that was spreading on her face. She pointed at the candle that was stabbed into the cake next to the cherry with her index finger, and the wick was instantly lit on fire.
“U-Umm…. I overheard it was Father’s birthday… so I wanted to do something special for Father…” You mumbled, fidgeting with the hem of your sleeve as you tried to maintain eye contact with her. “I-I made you a cake. I t-tried my best. Would Father care to try my cake?”
Father let out a chuckle, looking at you with a soft and warm gaze. “You made a cake? All for me?”
“I-I wrote a c-card too…” You pulled the card and the second piece of paper out of your pocket, placing it next to the cake.
“Y/N… I…” Father chuckled, the corners of her mouth reaching her eyes. You’d never seen her look at you like this. Yes, she was always happy and cheerful. But never this much. Even as she tried to conceal it, you had spent enough time with her to know that she was feeling much more than a simple grin.
“Of course I would love to try your cake.” Father took the fork that was placed next to the cake, digging out a portion of your creation before putting it in her mouth. You could’ve sworn you saw a glimmer in her eyes. She took another bite, nodding her head and smiling at you.
“D-Does Father like it?” You asked with a worried tone.
“I love it, my dear.” Father hummed, forking out another chunk of your cake, putting the fork in front of your mouth. “Why don’t you try your own creation?”
“But it’s Father’s cake.”
“I insist.”
“O-Okay.” You wrapped your mouth around the fork, chewing on the cake you made. A smile crept on your face as you swallowed the bite. Thank the gods you had actually made food and not poison.
“Come here, my child.” Father patted on her laps. You walked around her desk, climbing on her laps as you looked up at her. She continued to spoon feed herself and you, wiping away any crumbs on your lips with her finger.
“H-Happy Birthday, Father.” You exclaimed.
“Thank you, my dear Y/N.” Father smiled at you, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. “I loved it, my little cook. This was the best birthday present ever.”
You could feel serotonin rush through your body. “R-Really?”
“Yes! Why would I ever lie to you, my dear?” Father hummed. “Thank you for such a wonderful birthday gift, my dear.”
~
Arlecchino sat on her chair, a sigh exiting her mouth as she looked at the card you had written, as well as the piece of paper. She had read a quick bedtime story to you, tucking you into bed before going back to her office. Arlecchino opened the letter, as the words entered her heart, fueling that flame of hers she carried and protected.
“Father,
haqqy dirthbay. I hoqe you hab a goob bay anb are haqqy. thank you for everything you bo for me. i really like my new toys.
Y/N.”
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Quick Pick: Messages From Your Person
Hello, my loves!
It's been way too long, but I'm finally back (hopefully for a long time) with a new reading as well as a bit of a rebrand. Today's reading is focused on messages from your person (kind of in the realm of a future spouse but generally a long-term partner) but I think for some of you it may come across as a current partner as well.
This is a pretty experimental reading for me. I want to start including an 'energy check' of sorts to help you better figure out if a pile is for you or not. I've done 'channelled' messages before but I felt weird about them so I've decided to give it a try again. The message aspect of this reading is just a free-flow writing of the cards that were pulled. And of course, I decided to play around a little bit more with my graphics. I'm always open to feedback, so I'd love to gather your thoughts on the set-up and reading itself.
Elle 🌿
P.S. I'm trying to re-do my masterlist but can't locate all my old pacs easily. If you come across one, I wouldn't mind if you send me the link. 🙏
Support My Work | MASTERLIST
Disclaimer: When reading tarot, my aim is to focus on self-reflection and seeking guidance. The readings you'll find here are designed to add a pinch of fun and entertainment to your day. While I might sprinkle in some advice that hopefully vibes with you, please remember that these insights aren't a substitute for any professional advice you might need-- after all, you know your journey best! For any love-related or future-focused readings, consider them captivating musings exploring possibilities. Divination inspired stories even. I can't predict the future but I do hope to add some enjoyment and insights into your everyday. Lastly my darlings, please take from these readings what resonates with you most, be it some, all or none, and leave the rest. 🌟
PILE 1
Note: Pile 1 your pile gave me absolute hell the first time around 😭. I was writing/channelling the message and the energy literally just gave way at one point, I was flabbergasted 🫨. Anyway, the second pull was much clearer, but I included notes I felt were important from the first pull in the post-reading notes section.
Your Energy:
Going through an awakening. A need or call for self-reflection. A new cycle is beginning. You must face what you are running from within, but you must also be patient. Rely on your inner strength. Needing to learn more about yourself before doing/trying something different. Potentially finding yourself in part of a mentorship. Connecting with people similar to yourself. Navigating regrets. Needing to let go of the old you. Needing to ground yourself. A strong energy of needing to look within yourself. It is time to prepare yourself for your next journey.
The Message:
Can you let the past go? We’ve been through so much, the both of us, on our own and together. Why do you hold on to it when our future is waiting for us? I know I hurt you and I apologize. You didn’t deserve any of the pain I caused you. I don’t blame you [it felt like there was a specific reason but I couldn’t get the specifics] but I feel lost without you. I could tell you why, I want to, but words mean nothing without action. You know my story. My relationship with my mother, how that shaped me. You know I love the attention of it all, having everyone’s eyes on me. Makes me feel good.. makes me feel. But no one else’s attention mattered like yours did. I felt most close to myself with you. Please, please let go of that version of me you’re holding onto in your head. I’m taking space because I need to heal. I need to heal my relationship with me first before I can heal it with us. This isn’t goodbye; just so long for now. I’m taking time to put that me in the past too and find myself and what I want from this life. I mean it’s simple really, I want you, us. I want to give you the good life you deserve, but I need to fix myself first. Give me the self-love I deserve.
Post-Reading Notes:
There’s a mature, sad regretful energy. Someone on a journey of self-exploration. Two hurting souls who met at the wrong time. One of you may be further along in your healing journey or you’ve both healed parts of yourself and your relationship that the other one hasn’t healed yet.
First Pull Notes:
One of the first things that came to mind for me is a dark night of the soul… I haven’t heard that term in so long and I’ve completely forgotten what it means, but for someone in this pile, I feel like that may resonate a lot. Going through a tough time. Blow after blow. Your higher self or inner wisdom is trying to reach you. Introspection before a new beginning. An ending of something you don’t want to let go of?
Big things are happening in your life, and significant changes are taking place even though it might not seem that way right now. Lots of air energy. Gaining mental clarity is super important for you right now. Breakup vibes? You two are like opposite sides or motivations of the same energy. Holding on when you know you should let go. This is definitely your person (one of the cards literally says ‘You’re my person’).
PILE 2
Your Energy:
For some of you are at the end of suffering but lying to yourself about the truth of the outcome, while for others you’re running from the mistakes made along the way. Maybe it's both. You’re still grieving all that is lost, be gentle with yourself. Hard work and consistency may await you but keep at it. Adventure is closer than you think. You’re on the brink of success. Moving forward hurts, but you must. Your person (or something you've been romanticising) is waiting for you. You just have to be brave enough to step through the gate. Opportunities are coming your way. If you're interested in floral hobbies or embroidery go for it.
The Message:
I hear you. I haven’t given up on you. I hear the songs you play for me, I hear the songs of your heart. You’re my love, my soulmate. We were meant to be, you and me. You’re not crazy or insane, or any other term you demean yourself with. You’re my everything. I can feel your soul even though we’re apart. If I close my eyes hard enough, I can feel you there. I can see your sparkling soul mirroring mine... sad eyes, bright smile, you leave me in awe. I know you call to me, and I’m sorry I’m not there. Don’t hate me for it, please. I’m leaving behind all that has been holding me back… the same as you. I’m sorry it’s so lonely. I want to meet. What do you say? Impromptu trip to the tropics? Somewhere cold? I just want to escape the world with you and lie in your arms. You’re my home. I sit in your energy and let it guide me your way. But I do need time. Please be patient with me. I haven’t abandoned you. I’m finding me, for you. I dream about you so often and being the kind of person you’d inspire me to be.
Post-Reading Notes:
"I need you to run to me, run to me, lover." (Run by Hozier, the chorus specifically. I know the song is supposed to be a metaphor but I'm suggesting it at face value). A very healing energy to your person's messages. Your person could also fantasise about you a lot... in a non-x-rated 18+ kind of way. It was mentioned on one of the cards but that part of the card felt awkward in the rest of the cards. They’re possessive, it doesn't seem like in a negative or extreme way but again, that's not something that was strong or clear. There’s something to do with the attention of others. They just want to be yours completely… Honestly, a submissive yet dominant kind of energy. A protector and/or provider (take that as you will) who is absolutely smitten with you and will do anything you say.
I don't typically read for it, but one of the cards had twin flame written on it. It could also be symbolic of mirroring each other in your personal journeys in life.
PILE 3
Your Energy:
Powerful yet solitary energy. A new chapter of your life. Accomplishing a big goal. Moving to a new location. Creating a good foundation for yourself in preparation for what comes next. Balancing your energies. Sleep issues. Struggling with anxiety or managing thoughts after a traumatic event. Celebration. Having security. Authoritarian role or vibes.
The Message:
Okay, I can do this: I can’t get you off of my mind. I’m constantly thinking of you, viewing your content, trying to set myself up to run into you. I know it’s silly, especially since you hurt me. Who pines after the person that hurt them? Well, it wasn't meant to be mean. You’re just so mysterious I can’t ever read you and it or you make me nervous. I’m always worrying about what to say. I want to talk to you but opening up to others is hard. I’m afraid I’ll start crying or you’ll hear my voice crack. You’re my person. I’m sure of it. You’re everything I’ve hoped for in a person, everything I dream about before I go to sleep at night. You’re doing so well for yourself, but I want to spoil you and be there for you. Not always materially. I know you can cover that for yourself. But being there for you and spending time with you… I heard you were seeing someone. I hope it’s not true and even if it is, I hope it doesn't last. No, I’m not sorry. I’m going to work up the courage to reach out to you soon.
Post-Reading Notes:
Oh Pile 3, you’re so intimidating to your person. Secret admirer vibes. I definitely think you’ve got a very serious or professional energy and an intimidating appearance. That may especially be true if you’re taller than average for your demographic/s. The energies here feel very balanced or neutral (not heavily feminine or masculine) on both your end and theirs.
PILE 4
Your Energy:
Such a beautiful light-hearted energy. There’s such a beautiful and hopeful energy in this relationship here but it’s also possible someone or something is working against you right now. A very important decision is being made. Someone could be trying to take something from you, but keep going. You’ve got this incredible power/energy to you. Vows are super important, be it making them with someone else or making a vow to yourself to gain or achieve something. Collaboration. Having everything you need to succeed. There could be challengers coming your way but you're strong enough to overcome them.
The Message:
I’m sorry. I don’t know, that was immature of me. I swear it wasn’t like you thought but don’t worry I’m going to do better. Honest. You know, I dream about us being together and growing old. I dream about our kids. They’re so stinking cute. We’ve still got growing to do, ok, or I’ve still got growing to do. Please talk to me. You know I hate it when you give me the silent treatment. I know I disappeared on you and that wasn’t cool. I just get so… I care about you a lot. I don’t want to see you hurt. I want the best for you. I know I act all big and bad but I’m a softie at heart. That fight was weird. I don’t like it. It wasn’t like us. It meant nothing I know. Would you pack up and run away with me if I asked? I hate the distance between us right now. Im always listening to our playlist. I know I acted like I'm uninterested in something serious but I am. I want you. I miss you. I want to spoil you and give you everything you deserve. Just give me a chance. Please hear me out.
Post-Reading Notes:
The vibes while doing the reading felt like very young vibes? There’s a youthfulness there. Someone who either is actually young in age or hasn’t grown up emotionally in a certain aspect. It felt like they did something prideful that was hurtful to you and you two are in a disconnect during the moment captured in the reading. It didn’t feel like a serious fight. More so when you’re upset with someone and acting like you’re madder than you really are (your vibes) and the other person is sweating and begging you to talk to them again (their vibes).
Also, idk why but Peter Parker kept coming into my head 🕸️. I’m not feeling to analyse it so take it as you will.
#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a picture#pac reading#pick a card reading#pick a pile reading#cozycottagetarot#future spouse reading#future spouse tarot reading#messages from your person#cozycottagetarot readings
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Ascendants at different degrees 🦚🦢 pt 3
hii, hope you have a beautiful day✨🧚♀️ i don’t have an excuse for my delay post but ty so much for all the support AAAAAAAAA😭❤️
Alexandra Levasseur
Ascendant at Gemini degree (3°, 15° or 27°)
they’re hyperactive. They have so much to say bc their mind is a work of overthinking. they have A LOT of ideas that they want to put it into words but can be difficult for them. Every type of process takes them longer or feels longer than what others will express, bc while doing it they’re thinking and thinking, it’s a cycle. Their profession could be related to “communicate” if that’s too obvious HAKDBA. but in every manner, that’s their passion, their need. making songs, advising, doesn’t matter what’s the career, the meaning or the need is present. their purpose is to put those ideas into words and those meanings the words own, reach out to more people. As I said in another post, I have a friend that has Gemini degree at his ascendant and breaths music, but I haven’t mentioned other people Ik that doesn’t represent the conventional example: she is a psychologist, she attracts people when she talks and her charisma. But it’s obvious how they struggle to communicate or it’s not easy to make themselves understood. That’s why they prefer to analyze others or to speak up through a non conventional way. I’ve seen that since ever they have difficulties with educational system, they’re too bored and intelligent -hyperactive- to adapt. what others say and how they process it is interesting…
Ascendant at Libra degree (7° or 19°)
their face is symmetrical. they’re pretty good at giving advice, comes naturally to them. they look “put together”, that they have their things to do, their schedule. they’re not direct -with my friend that have libra degree at their ascendant, I have to ask them specific questions with the objective of reading their mind. For example, I ask if they like my outfit and they’re making rare expressions and saying “YeS” with a rare tone, so I ask them “you don’t like it?” and they don’t say something clear-. I have to interpretate more than listening to a clear answer. Taking care of their appearance it’s essential, if they don’t like it, they’ll change -appearance matters-. You’ll see them owning a lot of makeup products but they look or use a “natural” look/makeup -if they use it-. They don’t try to be too “unique” or attract attention in a way that could be seen as unconventional/rare, they follow tendencies that could be seen as basic but for them it’s more than enough. growing up they could have cared too much about what others think. They could have lived or are still living without questioning themselves what are they doing with their lives, not realizing they’re part of a system and that they’re an individual. in other words, they could have had ignored how they were living, they were “vibing” but have never stopped and asked themselves “what am I doing?”. And if they had, they conformed themselves bc they didn’t want a change, to be “accepted”.
Ascendant at Aquarius degree (11° or 23°)
they’re THE bitch. they know their worth. their passion or what calls their heart is to be someone in the society we live, to make a change. people will prejudge and have a wrong idea of them: they’re loners, they’re mean and they only think about themselves, they’re egoists. only bc they don’t try to be as everyone, only bc they’re not people pleasers and they’re true to themselves, doesn’t mean they’re egoists. In reality, all their thoughts end up on the same final: to help the fcking humanity. it sounds cliche, it’s too cringe for them to admit it ⛓️🖤 since their childhood, they have been exposed to information that showed problematics in the world. they process information logically bc their surroundings taught them to, suppressing their emotions. they search for solutions logically, they could suffer for explaining what are their needs without judging themselves. they could be bad at advising bc they’re struggling to even comfort themselves. trough all their life, they have doubts or not an stable self-esteem: god complex. ik its impossible to not mention this phrase for an Aquarius placement: they have had and have difficulties feeling part of a community, to not feel lonely -not alone bc it refers to be “physical by yourself”-. They could be feeling really lonely but they sabotage themselves remaining they don’t have to feel, like a robot. they’re complimented by their style💋 unique
Ascendant at Sagittarius degree (9° or 21°)
they’re chill, they take things as they come -or that’s how they appear-. they’re calm but calm that can take a joke that’s supposed to be offensive and they’re sarcastic about it. it’s like they’re mosquitos around and they have repellent -the best example 🤩-. STILL they’re pretty sensitive. I think they try to be as calm as they seem to not worry their mother/parental figure with all the struggles they’ve had. They tried to be their sunshine: they are but as time passes they converted these behavior on a mask, hiding how they feel really. They vibe. surprisingly, they’re not chaotic or histrionic, it’s like they’re good, like “meh” good BUT sure they have their moments. change my mind, they’re or “calm you should be afraid of it” or they don’t give a shit but in a “dog that needs to be taken for a walk way to waste that energy” -as a sag placement i recognize and reaffirm 🤓☝️ i need to be taken for a walk like the bitch I am, that’s an horrible jk god-. They remind me of a taurus ascendant but they actually don seek comfort and if they do, their whole life is about going out of their comfort zone bc of their drive of wanting to know more. they actually know, even though they’re not scorpios, they know shit and let things happen naturally. in other words, they have acknowledged that if they tell people what’s happening it’s not gonna hit them as how it’ll if they live it. and they’re loyal, they’ll tell their friends or loved ones but they won’t control the situation. their life is about experiencing things instead on basing themselves on other experiences, they want to know and the diversity of perspectives is a whole galaxy to explore for them. again, it’s not about professions, it’s about their passion. people would judge and say “they’re players and blabla” could be right but that’s not the point, they experience to grow and they’re not afraid of not being perfect -and if they’re they try and they’re brave-.
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❀ Based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.
❀ English is not my first language.
❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer, I just love astrology and I’m willing to learn.
Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋
Do not copy. Please give me credits.
#astrology#astro observations#pinterest#astro posts#astro notes#astro placements#ascendant#ascendants at different degrees#Gemini degree#sag degree#aquarius degree#libra degree#rising
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Pick An Emoji: What Is Coming Toward You In Love?
(Minors DNI + DNF!)
Hello again everyone, it's Cosmic!
I know this post is very off-schedule, but I'm wishing you a Happy belated Valentine's Day with this tarot reading anyway!
Below, I have four emojis for you to choose from.
When choosing a pile, look at the hearts before you. Truly take them in. After that, shut your eyes. Breathe in and out until you feel calm - almost empty. Once you are calm, allow the heart that corresponds to the pile you're meant to engage with to appear within your mind.
1)💝
2)💗
3)💖
4)💞
DISCLAIMER: I do tarot for fun and as a means of entertaining other people. This is not something that I intend for people to take one hundred percent seriously!
Also, this is a collective tarot reading. I am not reading your specific energy alone, so not everything here will likely apply to you. Be discerning and use your own intuition!
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💝 - "Let It Be"
Shufflemancy/Channeled Song(s) - You're Beautiful - James Blunt, Let It Be - The Beatles, Your Face - Wisp, Paper Bag - Fiona Apple, Get Gone - Fiona Apple, Yellow - Coldplay
Keyword(s) - Beautiful, balloon, water-balloon, laughter, 2/222, 3/333, paper bag, plastic bag, get gone, tanktop, funny, sacral chakra, solar plexus, crown chakra, throat chakra, ocean, ocean breeze, banana, 'baba', pacifier, 'devil in the details', fluctuating
Base - The Moon, Ten of Swords (Reversed), Seven of Cups (Reversed), Ace of Cups (Bottom of Deck #1), Nine of Cups (Bottom of Deck #2)
Clarifying - The Chariot + Six of Pentacles (Reversed) - Ten of Cups (Reversed), Ace of Swords, Judgement - Four of Cups, Seven of Swords, Ace of Pentacles
The first thing I noted while doing this pile was the Ten of Swords (Reversed) and the Ten of Cups (Reversed) clarifying each other. I feel you will gain an understanding of something in your love life that didn’t work out before.
It’s necessary that you really focus on your healing, though. Your reading keeps returning to the healing they really want you to be doing.
You may be prolonging your sadness and healing unnecessarily because you refuse to leave the past behind. This could be subconscious. You are existing within illusion and/or confusion, because of something that happened way back when. Maybe someone refused to reciprocate in an equal give and take with you? Whatever happened in the past, you find yourself unable to give and receive in the present because of it. I empathize with you.
The universe wants to give you more opportunities! In love, or otherwise. However, you may overlook them. In fact, you may currently be overlooking opportunities for growth and excitement because you are suffering. Keep your eyes peeled!
That being said, though, I don’t think overlooking opportunities is always necessarily negative. The universe is abundant - always willing to provide. If you need more time before receiving something from the universe, that is totally acceptable! What is meant for you will always be.
Just remember that you need to fight. Shoot forward and manifest, so the universe can provide based on the powerful energy it receives from you! Even if you brush your teeth, and then sleep for the rest of the day afterward, you are manifesting. You are fighting. You are healing, and engaging in self-care. An effort - no matter how small or slow - is always important! Use your judgment and your intuition to get through this period of negativity and sadness.
Take note of those who you might be taking more from than necessary - give back on occasion, if possible. Send love energetically to the people around you, even through all the confusion, illusion, and fear.
For Advice Portion - King of Pentacles (Reversed), The Hermit (Reversed), The Lovers, The Hanged Man + Ten of Swords (Bottom of Deck #2)
Clarifying - The Devil + Ace of Cups (Reversed) - Temperance (Reversed), Eight of Wands (Reversed), Five of Wands (Reversed) - Ace of Wands (Reversed), Queen of Pentacles (Reversed)
Advice - Truly give into self-work via journaling and shadow-work prompts. Observe your negative patterns and write them down, if necessary. Be cautious when giving to energies/patterns/situations that have caused you to spiral into negative habits before. Stop fighting the healing work that you must do and focus less on romance, for now. You will absolutely find your romantic match. Your healing will take you directly to them. Learn to be happy single, for now, and have a fresh beginning with yourself and yourself alone! You will find true, genuine, healthy love in divine timing. You are not being forced into this time alone. See this experience of singularity as a blessing and know that you are already one with your ideal partner.
Be kind to yourself. Love yourself as you love them.
Also, stop reading and/or watching as much romance-related tarot? That could be a negative habit you currently have.
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💗 - "Change"
Shufflemancy/Channeled Song(s) - Listen To Your Heart - Roxette, Heart To Heart - Mac Demarco, Blue Lips - Regina Spektor, Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake, Cry Me A River (Different Song, Same Name) - Julie London, Kiss Me - Sixpence None The Richer
Keyword(s) - Kept trying to say 'green words' instead of 'keywords', heart chakra, from the heart, baseball, Modern Baseball, Halloween, veteran, veterinarian, throat chakra, poet, seeds, teacup, bag, angel, bagel, ocean, lips, mouth, kiss
Base - Ace of Swords, The Star (Reversed), Five of Swords, Justice, The Lovers (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #1)
Clarifying - Five of Swords (Reversed) & Four of Pentacles (Reversed), Nine of Cups (Reversed), The Moon, The Hermit, Temperance (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #2)
An end is coming toward you. The ending of a relationship. If this relationship doesn’t end entirely, then the perspective you have on the relationship will change. You are quickly gaining control over conflict in this situation, retaining a leadership position. In doing that, you are allowing yourself to find stability, happiness, and pleasure. A tower will fall and cause hopelessness, helplessness, and dissatisfaction to dissipate - allowing any future work on your part to actually create something stable. In the past, any work put into this relationship might have only resulted in suffering, pain, and confusion.
You really know your situation better than I do, and I know I stated that the relationship doesn’t - necessarily - have to end, but many of you will cut somebody off in favor of keeping your effort and energy to yourself. If you haven’t done this already, that is.
The Justice card is out here, later clarified by the Devil in reverse. This relationship could be karmic, or that's what I felt when seeing these two cards come out together. Saw the Emperor and the Empress (Reversed), too. It's like this relationship was almost a match. They were a person you saw everything in...- If only they had fallen upright, or... allowed themselves to.
After ending this relationship, being alone as a means of allowing yourself to retrospect could be best. There is no need to rush or place unnecessary pressure on yourself. In doing so, you could trick yourself into believing that there will be no victory out of exhaustion, or you could simply delay progress altogether.
Also, know that everyone will receive what they deserve and trust the Universe to dole out karma - positive and negative - wherever necessary. Whoever you might leave in the past will have trouble freeing themselves of their stuck manner. Finding themselves heartbroken, while they miss your stability and commitment-minded mentality. Do not remain stuck with them and take their karma for yourself. Holding onto this relationship - or the way that the relationship was - will not assist you in any way! Don't be afraid to look at this relationship differently as a means of healing!
For Advice Portion - Two of Wands (Reversed), Ace of Pentacles, Five of Swords (Reversed), The Emperor & Ten of Cups, The Star (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #1)
Clarifying - Ace of Wands, Five of Swords (Reversed) & The Emperor (Reversed), Ten of Pentacles, Justice (Reversed)
Advice - This is a new beginning. Don’t allow a fear of change to deter you. Don’t be afraid to chase after your goals and passions - head toward what excites you most…! Be decisive at this time. And you can - absolutely - be decisive right now, even if you feel uncertain. You likely aren’t as confused as you think you are.
You have been gifted with an opportunity to thrive peacefully without a conflict that has bothered you for a very long time. Allow yourself to be grateful.
However, do not do anything in excess. Make sure that any passion you follow is healthy and doesn’t only serve you.
Do not allow your suffering to turn you into someone selfish and controlling. You are the Emperor. No matter what. You don’t need force, manipulation, or control. You are a natural leader at heart. People will follow you simply as a result of you maintaining a healthy, balanced, exemplary disposition.
You will find healthy love in due time, even after the conflict that you have suffered through- This love might be happening for you right now, even! A relationship healed after an internal conflict…- Just maintain emotional balance and all will work out for you.
And, finally… do not - under any circumstances - allow your worries about justice and karma to stagnate you, or kick you out of emotional balance! Don’t worry about karma! Karma is not your problem, nor is it something you can control. Keep that in mind.
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💖 - "Shine Brightly"
Shufflemancy/Channeled Song(s) - You're The Greatest (Reprise) - Wander Over Yonder, Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield, Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles, Haven't You Noticed (I'm A Star) - Steven Universe
Keyword(s) - Zipper, zoomies, phone, telephone, call me, heart, heart chakra, 2/222, 1111, plaid, earring, infection, star, cartoons, Piplup, Pokemon, trash, laundry day, yellow, solar plexus
Base - Two of Wands, Four of Swords, The Hierophant, Ace of Swords, The High Priestess (Bottom of Deck #1)
Clarifying - The Emperor, The Sun, Seven of Swords (Reversed), Five of Wands, King of Wands (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #2)
Before I start, I want to state that being in your energy made me happy...! You are a great person, Pile Three, and you're fun to be around!
You're reading is a complete loop, starting with the Two of Wands and then ending with the Two of Wands. You have thoroughly planned your next steps regarding your romantic world, and now you are taking action. Maybe you are considering putting yourself back out there again? Either by getting on a dating website, trying new recreation, or starting a new project? Whatever you want to do, I feel that you have the knowledge necessary to achieve your goals and succeed - to meet someone new. To create new connections, even those that aren't - necessarily - romantic. If that isn't the case right now, it definitely could be soon, if that is what you yearn for.
I believe that you are very in touch with the spiritual world, whether you know that about yourself or not. Follow your intuition - your internal compass - and things will go well for you.
You have already taken the time to rest, recuperate, and place your focus inward. You have a deep understanding of what might have been causing illusion in your romantic world. You have also taken your energy and effort away from a situation that might have broken your heart, and/or the hearts of others...! If this is not what you've done, it seems that this is what you are planning on doing - quickly taking control of the reigns and heading away from heartbreak, pain, and disappointment to find a relationship that will bring stability, love, and hope into your world.
If you feel that none of this applies to you - that you have not moved away from a negative situation, spent time alone, and gone inward - that is exactly what you need to do. A good pause in love might be exactly what you need right now.
Rest and recovery after situations like these are important!
Don't feel negatively if you cannot force any sort of passionate energy to build within you. You will meet a romantic match who is just as intuitive as you in due time. So, don't rush - plan, examine what you know, look toward the future rather than the past, and take care of yourself.
If you haven't healed from this negative romantic situation already, you will; and if you are still in the process of cutting a cycle out of your life, you will be successful in doing that, too...!
Also, I saw the Two of Cups multiple times, there is definitely hope, Pile Three!
For Advice Portion - Six of Cups, Page of Pentacles, The Sun, Three of Swords (Reversed), The Wheel of Fortune (Bottom of Deck #1)
Clarifying - The Devil (Reversed), King of Cups, Three of Wands, Two of Cups
Advice - If you're attempting to get into new hobbies, try and do stuff that you're inner child would want to do. Remind yourself of the dreams and wishes you had when you were a little kid, and bolt toward those. Doing so will end in a nice experience for you. Might even heal negative habits you currently have.
There is no need to fear walking away from past negativity. It is recommended that you move away from old, negative tendencies and relationships - even those that stem from childhood. Maybe you work yourself too hard? Don't be scared of taking a proper break.
Put your heart into your work. Don't be afraid to allow other people to see you, and your work - your efforts and goals. Ask for assistance from other people, if necessary. The future is bright, there is no more suffering in your future - as far as I can tell. Let the brightness of the Sun bring you into your bright, loving future. Point your love inward - show yourself self-love! Pamper yourself, even despite past conflict!
Let the pain end. Allow cycles to finish. Don't fight the ending that will come with releasing this past pain. You deserve to live as happily as possible! Holding onto pain will not allow you to do that!
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💞 - "Yes/No"
Shufflemancy/Channeled Song(s) - Excuses - Shakey Graves, Harness Your Hopes - Pavement, Don't Let's Start - They Might Be Giants, A Pearl - Mitski
Keyword(s) - Accidents, whiplash, 'rushing or dragging?', drumming, orange, sacral chakra, red, root chakra, go, stop sign, pillow, pie, cake, 'what a bitter disappointment', sign, hello, goodbye, opposites
Base - King of Swords (Reversed), Page of Cups, The Tower, Page of Swords (Reversed), The Hanged Man (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #1)
Clarifying - The Devil (Reversed), The Magician + Two of Cups, Nine of Cups (Reversed), The Emperor (Reversed), Ace of Wands (Bottom of Deck #2)
You might have also wanted to pick Pile Three? Perhaps? Two cards from that pile kept showing themselves to me while I was shuffling, so...!
If you cannot forgive someone for something, allow them to go find their happiness elsewhere. That's what I heard. You are detaching from something or someone. A romantic relationship. A negative thinking pattern. You could even be detached from whatever this is already. Single.
You might be putting yourself out there, attempting to manifest a balanced, emotional relationship with another person. Do you have someone specific in mind? Do you even want a relationship...?
You feel somewhat back and forth like you aren't even sure what you want romantically at the moment...- There is no rush!
I want to talk about the tower we have here. Towers are not negative! We see them as negative because we're human, but they are a necessity. Some people will simply not learn without emotional pain. If you need to learn the hard way, then you need to learn the hard way.
This tower that exists within your reading is not avoidable-
I asked, 'Why..?' They gave me Four of Wands, Ten of Pentacles, and Six of Wands. If you want this healthy, amazing relationship you've dreamed about, you have to learn more lessons...! Specifically, you have to learn how to exhibit gratitude, patience, and balance. You also have to lessen your grip on control, and completely surrender to healing your emotional imbalances.
Do not be afraid to look at this situation differently - from a less negative angle. It sucks, I know, but you can get through any healing that you need to!
For Advice Portion - Six of Wands, Ace of Wands, Eight of Cups (Reversed), Knight of Pentacles, The Hierophant (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #1)
Clarifying - The Devil (Reversed), King of Pentacles (Reversed), Eight of Cups (Reversed), Seven of Swords (Reversed), Five of Cups (Reversed) (Bottom of Deck #2)
Advice - There is a victory to be had here with some work. In healing and defeating the truly detrimental negative tendencies you might have, you will gain a new beginning in romance where you are completely on top...! Again, there is just work that needs to be done and stuff that needs to be distanced from. Specifically, a relationship or circumstance that is holding you back. This situation is only causing more trauma for you. Move forward and away from whoever, or whatever this is...! If you have done so physically, then you must release any disappointment you might still be holding onto as that might still be connecting you to this energetically.
If you are going to try out dating again (or just meeting new people in general), I would suggest using a new method that you haven't tried before. A new website, a new hobby - something that hasn't resulted in a negative experience already.
Also, it doesn't matter how 'slowly' you are healing. It only matters that you are trying and moving at a steady, consistent pace...! Doing so will bring you directly to emotional fulfillment.
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I wanted to say thank you very much for the kindness my first post was shown! I really appreciate it...! Any advice is always appreciated!
I hope you enjoyed this post and that some stuff resonated for you! Until next time! :-)
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Pick a Pile: What's an Insecurity You Need to Confront?
Disclaimer: tarot readings are not replacements for professional advice! Take what resonates; don't force a reading to fit. Readings are based on current energy; your future's in your hands. For this reading I used a recolored Smith-Waite, the Osho Zen tarot, and the Oracle of the Radiant Sun.
pile 1⋆pile 2
pile 3⋆pile 4
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Pile 1:
What’s the insecurity?: hi pile one! You seem to have interests that aren’t very socially accepted. You could like things considered “nerdy, childish, cringe, or weird.” Some of you feel like you’re a frivolous or immature person. You may also feel this way about your friend group or job. There’s some sense of awkwardness, embarrassment, or shame about the things that fulfill you. This may be a career that others don’t take seriously—like the arts—or something really niche like being a clown. However, I see most of you still try to pursue what feels right despite others’ pressure.
Why do you feel this way?: I feel you’re wrapped up in how others perceive you. You may fear being shunned, ostracized, and alone. Some of you have already experienced that level of loneliness before, so you don’t want to be pushed out again. You could be or have been the friend who feels least important, like the one who gets pushed off a sidewalk while everyone else walks side by side. Many of you have social anxiety; you could feel like everyone is staring at you or get easily embarrassed.
Current method of dealing with this: you like to take your mind off your insecurities and emotions as fast as possible. When you feel judged, you change the topic really fast, like by making a joke. You might blurt out something you didn’t really mean to redirect attention, like making a joke at someone else’s expense. Your constant flight or fight pushes you towards impulsiveness, and flip-flopping between embarrassment and defensiveness. This could take a physical toll, like feeling very tired after socializing. A few people in this group could’ve been bullies to deflect from their own issues (though others of you were on the receiving end).
Advice for healing: reflecting on how projections create shame is beneficial. When we judge ourselves, we feel everyone else is judging us too. When others judge us unfairly, they’re projecting something from inside themselves outwards. We can stay trapped in a cycle of shame where everyone is unhappy, or accept that we deserve happiness in our harmless interests. By taking a different perspective of your fears instead of accepting them as the full story, you can leave thought patterns you no longer align with. For those who often say things they regret, there’s emphasis on thinking before you speak, and working through thoughts before projecting them outwards. A few of you are entering a new community that will be a great opportunity to work on this. If you were drawn to pile 2 I encourage you to check it out!
Extra details: a bench (especially green), staring, golf carts, driving, dancing, physically active, excitable/hyperactive, bubbly, theater kid, geeky, black hair, cringe culture, shy, fandoms, the comedian/funny friend, always smiling, secret/hidden life, bullying, travel/moving, leaving friends, feeling dumb, fake persona, panic, school friends, college, dorms, fairies (fairly odd parents?), Are We Friends or Not by Zeph
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Pile 2 [TW abuse/childhood abuse]:
What’s the insecurity?: hi pile two! You guys may feel insecure or struggle in what you want to do with your life. You may feel stuck in “analysis paralysis;” constantly ruminating over all the possibilities but never reaching a conclusion. If you compare yourselves to others, it might seem like you’re going very slow in life, a late bloomer, have no solid plan, or like you’re regressing. Some of you struggle with a heavy past, like major childhood trauma that contributes to your present feelings.
Why do you feel this way?: you have a lot of thoughts in your head that pull you every which way. You might have an inkling of what you want to do, but you get caught in the planning versus the doing. Some of you are stuck between choosing something lucrative or something more purposeful. There are also opinions from others that are confusing you. A few of you have imposter syndrome about a new opportunity, and another few are having problems at a job which is pushing them away.
Current method of dealing with this: this pile seems to deal with it by not dealing with it lol. You want to make the perfect choice so much that you either don’t make any decision or you turn away from what you like. The latter is specific to some of you that have already chosen a more material-focused path but still feel indecisive. However, I don’t feel like you guys are living in an illusion; you’re aware of your situation and the different aspects. You may enjoy the position you’re in despite the insecurity. For example, if you don’t have a job right now, you could enjoy the free schedule. You may like still being taken care of by your family and not having to work. Or, you could enjoy the potential of having many possibilities and not fully committing.
Advice for healing: you need to take a serious look at what you want out of life, what’s important to YOU and not society or others. This includes being more selective with the perceptions and advice you consider; you might also need to be more selective with who’s in your circle. Are there people in your energy who are only there for themselves? Are you maybe a bit too free with sharing your plans and ideas with just everyone? Find out who and what makes you feel fulfilled and empowered. If you also felt drawn to pile 1 I encourage you to look it over!
Extra details: looking for a job or between jobs, optimism, eagerness, vests, libraries, plants, round glasses/brown glasses, light brown hair (especially a bob), quiet or shy kid (some of you outgrew it), teacher’s assistant, childhood trauma or abuse, masculine or androgynous look, horror (the genre), drawing, pop music (some of you love ariana grande 🤨), drag, job opportunities, meditation, overthinking, inner demons, nickelodeon, moving, being busy, lack mindset
(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)
Pile 3 [TW mental illness, substance abuse]:
What’s the insecurity?: hi pile threes! Is everything all right?? You guys have an indecisive energy like pile 2, but it feels philosophical instead of material. The insecurity is life itself. You could be having an existential crisis or existential anxiety. You don’t know your purpose or why you’re here, and this creates a stagnant but chaotic feeling inside. Some of you don’t want to be here. Another part of this “insecurity” is that you don’t share this struggle with most. Because others can’t comprehend what you’re going through, it’s isolating. This pile could be very disappointed with how society and survival works, and don’t want to put their energy into the broken system.
Why do you feel this way?: This group has pressure from themselves and others to be successful and “well-adjusted.” To achieve, move forward, and at least appear “normal.” There’s a great internal struggle happening and the pressure to keep up appearances adds to the stress. Mental health issues feel very significant for this pile. You may still conform to so-called normal life while feeling ready to snap.
Current method of dealing with this: most of this pile puts a lot of energy into keeping up the image. There’s a split self where the external you and internal you are living two different lives. You may like to hang out with friends a lot and focus on their lives instead of your own. Your friend group or the activities you do together seem to be filled with gossip, drama, or other excitement that distracts you from what’s going on. I also see a big struggle with overindulgence or addiction. There’s a sense of feeling out of it during the day and then coming alive at night; you might like to stay up or go out really late. Some of you also use partners to fill the void.
Advice for healing: there’s an extremely strong emphasis on removing yourself from people who no longer align with you. There could be a few people or places that always “enable” you to make choices you regret, or always bring drama and toxicity into your life. Specific people in this pile are in a romantic relationship that makes them feel very unhappy. The advice is to reflect on what takes peace from your life and what you can do to protect yourself from toxicity. If you use relationships to never face yourself, you can re-evaluate the energy you put into them. Some time has to be spent with the self to see what the self wants and needs (if you’re drawn to meditation it can be helpful). I highly encourage everyone who wants or needs them to see what mental health services are accessible to you, and to explore potential healthy coping mechanisms.
Extra details: impatient, may like to sing, vocal stim, or rap, goofy, “IT’S FAKE!”(?), a facade/mask, hiding feelings, uses humor to cope or avoid a topic, trap house, memes, spiritual, viewing life as sacred, anti-capitalism, immigrant family, questioning orientation, substance abuse, painting, bathrooms, the middle of nowhere, courage the cowardly dog, pop music, karaoke, bars and clubs, I think we ALL sing, housing insecurity, the characters Mabel or Sarah Lynn could be significant
(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)
Pile 4:
What’s the insecurity?: hi pile four! This is an insecurity about being vulnerable as your true self due to the oppressive environment around you. It feels like you carry many responsibilities. You’re expected to act strong, carry out duties, maintain tradition, and in most ways you’ve done this. On the inside you reject this way of life, but also feel fear in fully living out that rejection. This pile may deem themselves as weak, immature, or sinful. I also feel many of you want to be taken care of or protected instead of always having to be the carer and protector, and this could contribute to feeling weak.
Why do you feel this way?: living as your true self may mean becoming the black sheep wherever you are. You may be afraid that the fallout will push you into an unfavorable situation, such as having to leave where you currently are. You might’ve already seen it happen to others. I feel many of you have had to live in a mature role or take care of responsibilities since childhood, and this adds an extra layer as to why it’s so hard to break free.
Current method of dealing with this: I feel like you guys are doing the best with what you have! A good amount of this pile has left or is leaving their hurtful environment, and you’re moving into new communities that align with you. For others, this may just be an internal change. Either way, I feel you’re refusing to be bullied into agreeing with things you don’t believe in. One way or another, you’re going to find a way to rebel how you can and live the way you want. It’s just been hard to reflect on ingrained beliefs and sometimes you catch yourself falling back on ideas you don’t mesh with anymore. But great efforts have been made towards the path you want to be on.
Advice for healing: be open to a completely new journey you would’ve never imagined before! There’s already a lot of energy directed towards the life you envision for yourself. You’re encouraged to be open-minded and allow yourself continuous evolution. There’s an emphasis on giving your inner child a lot of grace and space to heal, even if your first impulse is to judge them. Just as others shouldn’t keep you in their box, don’t keep yourself in your own box either! You may have had to develop certain traits to help you leave old, toxic situations, such as having a hard exterior or going ham during your rebellious phase. Keep what still feels good and let go of the rest; embody what you need and want to be in the present and not the past. But, there’s no need to shame other versions of yourself that had different personalities and beliefs; compassion for past selves leads to compassion for the present and future selves :]!
Extra details [TW abuse mention]: teeter-tottering/off-balance, scooby & shaggy, religious trauma, conservative community, church, childhood trauma, abusive relationships, regretting parenthood, religious deconstruction/leaving, becoming more spiritual, new religious beliefs, Buddhism, moving, financial struggle, single parent, hesitating, sea/sea animals, parties or gatherings, moving/travel across the ocean, writing/journaling, nature, herbalism, plant-induced spiritual experiences, acupuncture, purple
(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)
#pick a pile#pick a card#pick a picture#pick a number#tarot reading#free tarot reading#pac#pick a deck#pick a photo#divination#free tarot#tarot#collective reading#oracle reading#oracle cards#collective message#channeled reading#channeled message#intuitive reading#spirituality
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Devils Roll the Dice…
Description: A new recruit to the BAU catches Reid’s eye. Unfortunately for the both of them, she has a past with someone very close to him. Are they willing to keep secrets just to keep one another? (TWO-PART MINISERIES)
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader
Warnings: alcohol consumption, sexual references/content (i’ll accept 16+ because its definitely not more than pg-13 material but writing anything sexy makes me feel weird if i know teenagers are reading it)
Word Count: 4k
I took a deep breath, looking in the mirror. I knew we were meeting the new recruit today, and just the thought of it exhausted me. Not that I didn’t like meeting new people. I just hated the break in routine.
We had a concrete team. Kate had already joined. We didn’t need anyone else coming in and messing up a very new rhythm we’d found with each other.
I finished tying my tie, pressing it down, and preemptively steeling myself against the new person. Probably some guy who didn’t know the difference between a tyrannical and enforcing sadist. Half of the students I’d met in recent guest lectures only wanted to go into the field because they’d listened too many crime podcasts anyways.
I walked into the bullpen, taking my seat as usual, ready to turn that cold shoulder at the first misstep of whoever this mystery recruit was. Unfortunately, I felt anything but cold when Hotch called our attention to the figure standing in his office doorway. He stood partially in front of her before he allowed her to stand right next to him as he introduced us. My eyes locked onto her at an embarrassing rate, and I felt far more embarrassed when she caught me and flashed a smirk.
She was anything but shy as a newbie, and for some reason that thrilled me. She wasn’t afraid to get into conversation with the team immediately as she unpacked her things at her new desk. She wasn’t afraid to tell Garcia everything she wanted to know. Much to my surprise, she wasn’t afraid to send me the cutest smiles every time she caught my eyes on her.
“Hey,” she said, walking up to me as I stood in the kitchenette.
Truthfully, I needed the time alone because of her. I couldn’t stop looking at her, and it was becoming a problem considering I was supposed to be doing work. She was just so… Different. She was sweet and funny and so attractive it made my mouth dry up.
“Hi,” I said after a moment. “Coffee?”
She nodded, holding out her mug. I filled it up from the pot in my hands after I topped off my own. She blew on it, looking up at me with big eyes. I watched her, not realizing how long it had been until she broke eye contact, a smile settling onto her face.
“You’re gonna keep watching me blow on my coffee?”
I opened my mouth to say something, but fell quiet when she smiled again. She moved the mug from her face.
“Got any advice for me with the BAU?”
I swallowed. “Uh, you came from Intelligence, right?”
She nodded, brows raised. “Yeah. How’d you know?”
“I was listening earlier. You said it to JJ.”
“Alright, so I know one fact about you other than the eidetic memory,” she said with a chuckle.
I smiled softly. “Right. Sorry, I haven’t been very talkative today.”
“That’s okay,” she said, giving me a reassuring smile. “I’ve tried really hard to get into this unit, so I don’t plan on leaving any time soon. We’ll have time to get to know one another.”
I nodded quickly. “Uh, so, advice. Um, I guess you should know this team is a lot like a family. We really care about each other, and we’re pretty close. Especially us field agents.”
“Good to know,” she nodded thoughtfully. “If you have any more wisdom floating around in that big ol’ brain of yours, let me know. I already heard Penelope calling you ‘boy wonder’, so I’d love to see you live up to that reputation.”
She finished off her sentence with a wink, turning away from me and rejoining the others who still gathered around her desk. She was shiny and new, and everyone wanted to know about her. I couldn’t blame them. I’d love to know as much as I could get my hands on.
One thing I learned very quickly is that she had a habit of flirting.
At first, I thought it was a general behavior she exhibited towards everyone. Then, after some keen observation I came to a terrible and exciting realization: she really only flirted with me.
I think most of it was due to the fact that she just liked to see me flustered. She could make it happen very easily, too. All it took was a sly, under-the-breath comment in passing and my face was turning red.
She’d smile at me, enjoying the tint in my cheeks. I’d stare back at her, just glad to see her smile.
Four weeks in and I was entirely wrapped around her finger.
She wasn’t shy about flirting on cases either, though she was always really good about making sure the only thing anyone ever saw was me being a total dork.
I almost never tried flirting back. I was pretty terrible at it anyways. But there were occasions when I’d make an attempt.
We were working on a case that leaned heavily on the geographical profile, meaning: I spent the entire case in the precinct. I finally cracked it after a few days, and the team found themselves at a farm. One of my least favorite places for a case to be, leaving me very thankful that I wasn’t along for the search and rescue. I really only went to the farm because everyone else was there.
By the time that I actually got to the crime scene, the unsub had already been apprehended. So, I stood near the cars, waiting on the others to come back. It was several minutes before I heard Hotch and Derek walking up and talking to one another. I turned as the rest of the team followed several steps behind. Y/N came into view last, and I couldn’t help but let out a laugh as she walked closer.
She gave me an exasperated smile, throwing her arms up as I took her in. She was covered in dried mud, clearly having taken a fall somewhere gross.
“I tripped and fell while doing absolutely nothing. I feel like you, all clumsy,” she joked, laughing.
I smiled, looking her up and down.
“How are you still pretty covered in dirt?”
“You can’t do that,” she said quickly, looking over her shoulder. “Not right now, anyways.”
I scrunched up my face. She had been much more forwardly flirtatious on cases before now. I couldn’t fathom how this was any different, especially since all I did was make a flirty comment. I guess my facial expression could’ve conveyed more. I seemed to have a hard time concealing my feelings for her when she looked at me the way she did.
“Why?”
She looked behind her again, like she was keeping an eye out for someone. But the only person there was Morgan. Maybe she was afraid of him telling on us for flirting on the job. But he was the one that relentlessly flirted with everyone else. Why would he be coming after us? Maybe she didn’t know that well enough.
“Morgan flirts with people all the time. He’s not going to—”
“Spencer,” she groaned, grabbing my arm and pulling me behind the SUV.
I furrowed my brow again. “What?”
“If I tell you something, you have to promise not to get weird about it.”
“Get… Weird?”
“Like, don’t be all freaked out,” she clarified.
“Okay,” I said, unsure where this was heading.
She cleared her throat, stealing one more glance at him. She looked back at me, chewing her lip with a coy smile. I had a feeling that now wasn’t the time, but I blushed, unable to stop myself from fully taking her in. Luckily, my upstairs brain started working again just in time to give all my attention to her as she started speaking.
“I’m sure this will make things a little awkward,” she stated, sighing softly, “but, he and I… Uh, Derek and I, we have a history.”
I quirked a brow. “Oh? How?”
She stared at me, expecting me to take a hint that I was most certainly not picking up on.
“We… We were involved. Romantically.”
My brows shot up. “Oh.”
“Yeah. It was only like five months, really, but,” she shrugged. “That happened. Hence why it’s been a little awkward between us.”
She said that bit like it was the most obvious thing in the world, but I hadn’t been any the wiser about it. Maybe it was just another case of me being a little more oblivious than some of my coworkers about behaviors that didn’t have to do with the job. Maybe I was just too enamored with her to pay attention to how she interacted with our coworker.
“I didn’t notice,” I said quietly.
“Good. I’ve been hoping to keep it on the down-low,” she said with a laugh. “I haven’t exactly wanted to endure teasing from the team about sleeping with Derek of all people.”
I swallowed, not having thought about the fact that she’d been… Physical with him. More so, that he’d gotten to be with her in that way. He’d seen her. Heard her. Felt her. All of her. I took in a breath, clearing my head of that image.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner if I was going to keep flirting like this,” she said, suddenly a little shy as she shoved her hands in her pockets. “I know you two are close.”
“Yeah. I’m surprised he didn’t tell us about you.”
She laughed. “Our relationship wasn’t completely… A serious thing.”
“Serious enough to last five months.”
She snorted. “Most of the time we spent together wasn’t exactly romantic. He was great, but we both kind of used each other. Hard time in life for both of us back then.”
“Ah,” I said, nodding curtly. “So it was mostly, uh— Sexual?”
She smirked, looking away. “Not entirely just that. But that was a lot of it.”
I nodded again, feeling my cheeks flush. She nudged my arm, pulling my attention again.
“It’s been well over a year now since that all happened,” she said quietly. “I just… I don’t want to rock the boat right now. Being new to the unit, I should probably try my best to be on everyone’s good side, you know?”
“I get it. I’ll stop with the flirting,” I said, giving what I hoped was an affirming smile.
She furrowed her brow. “That’s not what I meant.”
“It isn’t?”
“The flirting is fine, I just think… Maybe we should keep it a little more quiet when we’re around the others,” she shrugged. “If that’s okay.”
“You’re okay with me— doing that?”
“Spencer, I don’t know if you know this, but you’re crazy hot.”
I was certainly blushing now. I swallowed, blinking in surprise as I looked at her. Her smile only grew. She enjoyed teasing me. I couldn’t say I didn’t like it just as much as she did.
“Uh, th-thank you?”
She rolled her eyes. “Quit acting so shy as if you don’t already know.”
My eyes widened. “I’m not acting.”
“Every woman who meets you flirts with you.”
“No they don’t,” I argued, my brows knitting together.
“Are you blind?”
“No,” I said, still in a state of confusion.
She laughed it off. “Alright, boy wonder, we’d better join the group. They’re gathering like vultures.”
I followed after her as she integrated into the group where they stood as Hotch spoke. She was so good at finding her way in. I was thrilled to see how she’d find her place in my life going forward.
In the following weeks, she gave me an idea of what that would look like. Stolen glances at every turn had my heart racing. It went even faster every time she found a way to touch me in some inconspicuous way.
A hand on my arm as she asked about the maps I was working on. A brush of fingers as she’d hand me a coffee cup. Her shoulder pressed into mine to whisper to me some detail of a case that really could’ve been said at full volume.
She usually didn’t step past those boundaries though, ever cautious not to let herself get caught out by anyone else. The comments she made towards me were still relentless, however. I didn’t know how she had it hidden so well.
I, however, had much more trouble hiding my attraction, and I was sure I’d heard some of my teammates whispering to each other about it. They’d give me knowing looks every time I got caught out staring at her. Even Morgan gave what seemed like mostly-good natured glances my way when I paid a bit too much attention to her. Probably only because he didn’t know that I knew about them, and even more likely didn’t want anyone else to know. It would be a tell-tale sign if he didn’t make fun of me.
It felt wrong to be keeping this odd little secret from him. I wasn’t necessarily sneaking around with his ex-girlfriend, but we were still flirting. We were still hiding something from him. I wondered how he’d react if he found out, and hoped for my sake that he was well and truly over it.
Especially after our last night on a case in Georgia. The summer air in the state was hot, and it felt like it was actively pulling air from my lungs every time I went outside. Maybe it was some kind of metaphor for what was to come.
I held back for hours from going to her door. The teasing had been terribly relentless the entire time we were on the case, and the week before. Tension was building, and I knew if I was easily picking up on it, she definitely had to be.
I paced around my room, contemplating my options. If I went to her, there was a chance we’d finally talk about whatever was happening between us. There was also a chance she’d tell me to leave if I attempted to tell her how I really felt, and I’d be left pining over her probably forever. Both were pretty scary.
Either way, I decided it was better than continuing to fall for her without having a real conversation about it. I walked to the door, my hand on the handle.
She stood just outside my door, her hand raised as if she was about to knock when I tugged it open. A smile graced her pretty lips, her hand dropping.
“Looks like we had the same idea,” she stated, pushing past me into my room. “Good timing.”
“It was.”
She chewed at her lip, looking around the space with her arms crossed. I stared at her as she took it all in, waiting for whatever was on her mind to be put out into the open. She looked back at me, apparently reading my mind.
“We’re both waiting on each other to speak up, huh?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“This is a ridiculous thing we’re doing right now. It’s like sneaking around with any of the fun parts,” she said with a laugh.
“I think it’s fun,” I shrugged.
“It could be more fun.”
I swallowed. “Yeah. But I’m happy just to have your attention.”
She smirked, walking towards me.
“I think you’re kind of needy.”
“Maybe.”
“It’s cute.”
I blushed, giving her a smile as I looked away. She still looked at me like she was about to devour me. I could sympathize with all of those animals I saw in nature documentaries as the predator closed in on them. It was in vivid color. She stalked closer and closer, knowing full well that my guard was down enough for her to launch an attack.
“You really enjoy this, don’t you?” I asked. “Knowing you make me flustered. Half of the time I can hardly talk when I’m around you. Everyone knows it, and they all think it’s one-sided.”
She leaned her chest into mine, surely able to feel how fast my heart beat for her.
“Are you embarrassed by it?”
“No.”
Her hands crept their way up under my shirt, leaving goosebumps in their wake as if her touch didn’t feel as hot as the sun. I watched her silently, letting her do whatever she wanted. She couldn’t asked me to jump out of the seventh-floor window with her and I would’ve gone head first without a question.
Panic only crept in when she started leaning in closer to my face, and I realized her lips were on a path that would end with mine.
“Wait,” I said, grabbing her wrists.
Her eyes widened, pulling her head back slightly.
“Are you okay?”
“I just don’t think this is a good idea,” I breathed out.
She retreated from me, and it was hard not to let my body follow hers. She was only a step away, but it felt like a continent’s worth of space. My fingers itched to reach out and pull her back in.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, eyes wandering over her face.
She swallowed. “I don’t know what you want, Spence. One minute you’re telling me you want me, the next you’re pushing me away.”
Logic kept trying to overtake my head. It was annoying.
“I can’t… You’re Morgan’s ex.”
She sighed. “I’m also a human being. I am my own person separate from him. One that is very attracted to you.”
I wet my lips, not missing how her eyes followed the action. I felt a fluttering in my stomach just watching her react. She smiled, as always, catching me in the act of being wildly into her. She took half a step forward.
“You’re telling me this is a bad idea, but every time I look at you I’m getting a different message.”
I swallowed. “I know.”
“So, which is it?”
“It is a bad idea,” I started, intending on making it a whole sentence, but not knowing what to say next.
“But?”
“But I don’t know if I care enough to stop it.”
She smirked again, not holding back this time. She reached up, pulling me down to her lips with her hands wrapped in my hair. I wound my arms around her waist, pulling her tightly into me. I relished feeling her body fully pressed against mine, especially when she let out a contented sigh as I deepened the kiss. She started guiding my backwards towards the bed, and I obliged her silent request until the backs of my knees were against the mattress.
“Sit,” she requested, the word whispered against my lips.
I did, peering up at her as she staying standing in between my legs. She grasped my chin in her soft hand, tilting up my head to see me.
“How sure about this are you?”
“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully.
She smiled. “Good. I don’t either.”
She dropped into my lap, kissing me like we hadn’t even stopped in the first place. My hands gripped her hips for the first time, and she was everything I had daydreamed about. Soft and responsive. I couldn’t imagine being the one to let her go, and I found myself questioning Morgan’s judgment in that moment.
It made me feel even better every time she smiled or made a little comment about the ways I reacted to her. Usually I’d be embarrassed, but she just made me feel good.
“Sweet boy,” she mumbled against me, moving her lips from my jaw and down my neck.
My hands found themselves wandering across her back, and my eyes were practically stuck shut as I felt her lips against my skin. I could’ve died right then and there and been happy to go.
But a knock at the door sent us both into high alert. She sat up straight, looking towards the door.
I stood with her legs still wrapped around me before I turned and dropped her on the bed. She bounced on the mattress, looking up at me with a surprised smile.
“Just— Stay here and stay quiet. Please,” I said, then walked to the door, trying to frantically fix my hair.
I cleared my throat as I opened the door, forcing myself to not look like I was embarrassingly close to…
I shook myself out of that thought the second I saw Morgan. He definitely put an end to any sexy thoughts that clouded my head.
“Hey, kid, can I ask you something?”
I furrowed my brow. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “I just… Do you know what’s been up with JJ? She’s been a little off. Won’t really talk to me, so I was wondering if she said anything to you.”
I let out a breath of relief. “No, she hasn’t told me anything. But I know Henry’s been pretty sick the past week. Maybe that’s it.”
“Hm,” he hummed, nodding slowly. “Alright, thanks. Just… Worried, you know?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “It’s JJ, though. She’ll be okay.”
“Right, yeah, I know,” he nodded again. “Alright. Thanks, again. You get some sleep tonight, alright?”
I nodded, bidding him a goodnight. I shut the door, seeing her on the bed still. She was propped up on her elbows, smirking at me.
“That ruin the mood?”
I locked the door.
“Not particularly.”
To my surprise, she ended up being the one who wanted to take it slow. We kissed for another hour or so when I got back within her reach, but didn’t go much further. Not that I was in a position to complain. I was ecstatic just to be touching her, and she somehow felt the same about me. I wasn’t sure I’d ever understand why that was.
She’d told me when I’d dropped onto the bed, crawling over top of her, that she didn’t want to go all the way. She said it so sweet. Almost like she was afraid of whatever answer I’d give to her. As if I’d say I didn’t want to kiss her all night long.
Besides, I was pretty sure I’d spontaneously combust if we had gone any further.
We woke up the next morning, still holding onto one another. She had changed into my t-shirt before she climbed into bed with me, and looked absolutely incredible with her messy bed-head and sleepy smile.
“Good morning,” she mumbled.
“It is a very good morning,” I said, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.
Her hand pressed against my cheek, the smile spreading on her face as she looked at me.
“You’re adorable,” she said quietly, granting me another kiss.
I sighed. “I don’t think I want to stop this.”
“Why would we?” she asked with an incredulous smile.
“Because, I mean, we can’t tell anyone about us,” I said with a shrug. “I just thought you wouldn’t want to make this— A thing.”
She wet her lips. “We don’t have to tell anyone in order to be together.”
I contemplated that for a moment. I’d never considered having a completely private relationship. At least not with someone who wasn’t actively being stalked. That was an entirely different scenario. I guess to her, it was probably scary to get into a relationship with one of your ex’s best friends. I couldn’t blame her for that.
I took a breath. “You… You want to keep it a secret?”
She nodded. “If that’s okay with you.”
“I’ll do whatever you want,” I said with a nod, not bothering to filter my thoughts as they came out into the open.
She smiled. “Anything?”
“Almost. I draw the line at murder.”
She laughed. “Team’d catch you anyways.”
I laughed right back, giving her another kiss. She leaned into my touch, shyness creeping into her face.
“I do really like you, Spencer.”
I nodded. “I do too.”
“This’ll be great, you know?”
She smiled brightly, causing one to form on my face. She brushed my hair away from my face, just looking at me.
“Yeah. I know.”
…ANGELS ROLL THEIR EYES (part 2)
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid reader insert#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds reader insert#reid x y/n#reid x you#reid x reader
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𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍
𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖜𝖔
show!Luke Castellan x daughter of thanatos!reader
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the image above or any of Rick Riordan’s characters/world-building.
⚠️Warnings⚠️: mentions of death, crying, sadness, physical pain, and parental neglect
A/N: i deeply apologize, i felt i needed to set up more context and establish Luke and readers relationship more before getting to capture the flag, i PROMISE it’ll be in this next chapter or the one after that💕
“Castellan!”
Sixteen-year-old Luke’s head snapped up abruptly to see his brother, Connor Stoll running towards him frantically. If Connor, who was usually lighthearted and cheerful, was panicked, something was really wrong.
“What’s going on?” Luke stood up, abandoning the art project he was helping a younger camper with. “Is someone hurt?”
“I-I’m not sure. I just heard a girl screaming in the woods, and calling for your help.”
Luke’s skin went cold. He knew exactly who was in trouble.
The only child of Thanatos, his best friend.
Connor beckoned for Luke to follow him. The two sons of Hermes sprinted towards the woods, trying to conceal their fear.
Luke’s heart pounded aggressively in his chest. He couldn’t bear to lose another loved one, it would destroy him.
Finally, Connor came to a halt and pointed into the trees. “She’s that way.”
“Thank you,” Luke said breathlessly. Running through the woods and ignoring the stares of the nymphs, he strained to hear anything that could lead him to you.
Then, he heard a muffled sob coming from a nearby clearing.
Cutting the stray branches aside with Backbiter, Luke practically flew through the trees until he spotted you, kneeling on the ground.
He froze. You were weeping, holding your face in your hands. Your body trembled, but he couldn’t tell if it was from sadness or fear. You hardly ever cried, you were a mellow person for the most part and rarely had emotional outbursts, so seeing you like this worried him immensely.
But most shockingly, you had black wings protruding from your back.
They didn’t look like bird wings. They had the shape of angel wings, but instead of feathers, they were made of black smoke that swirled gently and occasionally omitted wisps into the air.
“W-Wh-“ Luke stammered, struggling to find words. “How?”
“I don’t know!” you cried, refusing to look at him. “They just…started appearing. It felt like someone was digging hot knives into my shoulder blades. I ran out here so that nobody would notice them, but then Connor found me.”
Your best friend knelt down in front of you, gently uncovering your face by taking your hands in his gently. His hands were calloused and rough, thanks to years of rigorous training. But they were comforting nonetheless.
“Are they still hurting?” he asked, instinctively checking your pulse by pressing your wrist carefully.
“No…I’m just scared, Luke. I don’t understand what’s going on,” you said, feeling your intrusive thoughts spill out. “What if they don’t go away? What will everyone think of me?”
Luke sighed. “If they don’t go away, it’ll just be another thing that makes you you. And it doesn’t define you, or take away from the person you already are. If other people can’t look past your new features, they’re fucking idiots who aren’t worth your attention anyways.”
“But…I feel like a monster. And even worse, I look even more like my father. He has wings too, I’ve read enough about him to know that for sure. I don’t want anything to do with him, why did he make this happen to me?”
“I don’t know why it happened,” Luke said honestly. “We can talk to Chiron and see if he has any advice. He won’t judge you, you know that. And I promise you’ll always have me. I’ll be your friend, whether you have wings or not.”
Wiping away your tears, you felt the painful feeling in your chest begin to subside. Knowing that he didn’t see you any differently despite this new development settled your nerves, at least a little. Sure, the other campers may see you as monstrous, as a terrifying mutation that needed to be avoided at all costs. All of the new friends you’d made over the past couple years may leave you, but you would survive.
At least you had Luke.
Your Luke.
________________________________________________
After calming down, Luke lead you to Chiron’s office in The Big House. Luckily, the rest of the campers were at lunch, and nobody saw your very noticeable new features.
Chiron wasn’t nearly as surprised as Luke had been concerning your wings. “I suspected that they would appear around this time,” he said. “Your father has passed down yet another one of his gifts to you.”
You certainly didn’t seen the wings as a gift. They were a curse, yet another thing that made you appear monstrous compared to other demigods.
“So, are they just there forever now?” you asked, fighting down the bitterness in your voice.
Chiron thought for a moment. “Wish them to go away, and see what happens.”
You rolled your eyes. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Just try,” Chiron insisted. “Your willpower is more powerful than you know.”
Relenting, you shut your eyes, focusing on your disdain for your wings. Desperation and frustration overtook your thoughts, and you felt your head begin to throb painfully.
Thankfully, the sound of Luke calling your name snapped you out of it.
“They’re gone,” Chiron’s low voice declared.
Sighing in relief, you opened your eyes and looked at the centaur standing before you.
“I advise you to spend time learning to control your new features,” he said. “You must discover the extent of the abilities they give you. Otherwise, they may pose a threat to your safety, as well as the well-being of the other campers.”
You nodded, despite the feeling of dread creeping over you. “I will. But I may miss some camp activities for the next few days.”
“That’s alright,” Chiron said. “I’ll let Mr. D know that you are caring for yourself, and need adequate time to do so.”
“I’ll accompany you,” Luke said immediately. You shook your head.
“You have responsibilities, Luke. Who else is going to run sparring classes for the younger campers? Who else is going to make sure the Hermes kids attend archery practice and don’t set a fire somewhere?”
“I’ll have Chris take over,” he said. “He can handle it.”
“But-“
“I’m not changing my mind,” Luke said firmly. “I’m helping you, and that’s final.”
Gods, as much as it sometimes irritated you, you loved that he was so stubborn.
________________________________________________
After a few days that felt like an eternity, you came to the realization that you’d gained more power than you initially predicted.
You could fly. That was to be expected; what else would the wings be for?
You could turn invisible. You only discovered this because a howl coming from the depths of the woods startled you. When you looked down, you could no longer see your body.
And finally, your senses had heightened considerably. You could tell when someone or something died, even if it was outside the borders of camp. Beforehand, you could only sense it if they were within close parameters.
The change was scary, but exhilarating at the same time. You knew that once you got used to your new abilities, you’d be even more intimidating than you already were.
Luke had been a huge help. He accompanied you while you experimented with your powers in the woods, but respected your request for him to keep his distance. He would check in on you at every meal, and made sure you ate an adequate amount. At night before bed, he sat with you on your mattress in Cabin 11, listening to you ramble on and on about various frustrations. He understood your anger at your father better than anyone else. He shared the same resentment towards Hermes.
When you’d tired yourself out, he would bid you goodnight, give you a sweet kiss on the forehead, and climb into his own bed. And within minutes, he was out cold.
But you stayed awake, staring at the worn-down wooden ceiling of your Hermes’s cabin.
The fear you’d felt when your wings had first appeared had faded considerably. You felt powerful, invincible almost.
And with the best swordsman in three centuries at your side, there was nothing in the world for you to be afraid of.
taglist: @orionspaperwork, @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @marvelescvpe, @lovingjasontoddmakemewanttocry, @louweasleymalfoy, @stars4birdie, @stargurl-battleship
Thank you for reading! Pls let me know what you think in the comments!!! Btw, the powers I gave the reader are based on Thanatos’s abilities according to Rick Riordan’s version of him.
Let me know in the comments if you want to be added to the taglist!
#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan x you#luke castellan#luke castellan series#luke castellan imagine#percy jackon and the olympians#percy series#percy jackson#pjo tv show#pjo series
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Me actually writing and posting? What??? 😱😱😱
Enjoy some Colson content my lovelies 🥰
As usual Feedback is welcome, HATE is not ; if you don’t like it, don’t read it. ✨💕
“I’m Here, Go Back to Sleep”
MGK x Female Reader
Warnings - None. Just pure fluff!
——————————————————————————
Waking up to an empty bed these days wasn’t unusual these days, with the album deadline slowly creeping up day by day, Colson spent almost all of his hours in the studio, working himself to the bone to produce an album everyone can enjoy.
With your own workplace continuously overworking you, sleep or time didn’t come easily to you either. You couldn’t remember the last time both you and Colson had actually spent more than a few minutes at a time together in the same room and it was starting to become very lonely.
Leaving the cold and empty bed, after another night of hopeless tossing and turning, you sigh and drag yourself downstairs to the kitchen. Preparing for another day to survive on coffee you make one for both yourself and your boyfriend who didn’t even leave the studio last night. It was most likely he fell asleep there in the very early hours of the morning.
While the lack of sleep wasn’t new for Colson, it certainly was for you and you could feel it slowly starting to affect your mind and body.
You grab him a change of clothes, a blanket for yourself and his favourite aftershave before crossing over from the house into the converted studio space.
With the band already in session, you slipped in almost undetected, but as always, your eyes caught Colson’s immediately. You give him a small smile and walk over to give him what you had brought over.
“Babe, what are you doing up so early? You look exhausted” he whispers as he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.
You let out a small laugh and set yourself down on the closest chair.
“Gee, thanks Col”
After a quick clothes change and the others leaving in search for food, Colson calls you over to the desk he’s working at.
“Come, let me hold you” he mumbles, stretching his long arms out in your direction.
Wrapping the blanket tightly around you, you walk over to your lover and wrap yourself around him so you were straddling him. He holds you tightly and sways gently.
“You need to get some proper rest, baby, you are going to make yourself ill” he tells you softly.
You giggle to yourself at his concern for you, knowing full well he wouldn’t take his own advice even if you begged him.
“I’ll rest when you do” is your answer and you can practically feel him rolling his eyes at you, despite not actually being able to see him as you rest your head in the crook of his neck.
The two of you sit there quietly, as colson continues to sway you and hum a track from the new album into your ear.
Despite not being able to sleep properly, something about being in colson’s arms after so long, settles you and you cannot fight the call of sleep that beckons you. Your eyes close slowly and without protest as you rest against the frame of your man, the feeling of safely enveloping you.
Colson smiles down at you, tenderly, the look of frustration and stress leaving your features as you snore lightly.
He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t missed these small intimate moments with you and did feel quite guilty for not making more time for you while in the process of doing this next album. You never once complained and took everything in your stride which is on of the many things he loved about you.
He couldn’t wait to look after you and treat you to something special as a way of thanks for all your support when the album was complete.
His train of thought was interrupted as he heard everyone coming back to continue the session. He panicked slightly as they all barged through the door and glared at them in an effort to silence the rowdiness they were currently displaying.
“Shhh! She hasn’t slept properly in weeks and I swear if any one of you wake her up! …” Colson hisses at his friends, before looking down at you to ensure you were still peacefully sleeping.
Slim is the first to put his hands up in mock surrender, a smirk plastered on his face as he leads the group back out the door, but he was secretly glad that this would mean Colson would be forced to take a break, even if it was just an hour or so. He knew he definitely needed one.
Once alone again, Colson lifts you up with ease and carries you over to the sofa, laying you down and climbing in beside you. He wraps his arms back around you settles in. The movement causes you to stir slightly, your eyes still closed you mumble for your boyfriend not to leave you.
“Shh baby, I’m here, go back to sleep”
#writing#writers on tumblr#fluff#fanfic#mgk#machine gun kelly#machine gun kelly x reader#mgk x reader#mgk x y/n#Colson Baker#fiction#colson baker x reader#colson baker fanfic#colson baker fluff#mgk imagine#colson baker imagine#mgk music#mgkedit#mgk angst
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Advice to help you manifest miracles
Hi lovey welcome to another PAC reading <3 thank you for being here an for supporting my work! I appreciate you all so much!
🫧Piles: 1-2-3
🫧Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Calm your breath and remove all of the thoughts from your mind. When you try to focus on the reading at hand which number or image comes to mind? That is your pile
Paid readings | Memberships
Pile 1
What you need to know
The sun
Pile 1 you need to know that although it may not seem like it at times you are heading in the right direction - slowly but surely. You will be able to bring this manifestation quicker to you if you stop stressing and instead focus on what is right in front of you. Try new things and enjoy some time in the sunshine this year, especially during spring. Go for a walk or take a book out and have a picnic by yourself. Fall back in love with life, this is something extremely important for you. To find joy in the little things. What makes you happy and what makes you grateful? Are you happy right now?
If you are currently procrastinating something - you are probably overcomplicating it. Pile 1 some of you may still be studying or you may be learning a new language. It’s ok to casually do this. The more you keep your head busy, the less likely you are to contradict your manifestation.
What you need to release
9 of cups
You may need to release what you think you want. It is likely that you are wanting to take big steps in your manifestation. This is ok to do if you don’t get stuck along the way (which I believe may be happening to you right now). For example you may have a new job as a manager assistant but instead of being happy you are sad because you are not the manager. Instead of viewing the situation in a negative light you need to see that you are closer than ever at being manager and that this will likely happen soon. Try to turn the negatives into positives right now. Success can come overnight, but it doesn’t have to. Going viral doesn’t mean anything if you are not prepared for it.
❥ Personal readings available via Ko-fi
Pile 2
What you need to know
The hierophant
It is time to question all beliefs and rules pile 2 and you are on the way to creating your own rules. It is important that whilst manifesting you do a thorough research on this topic, but this doesn't mean that you have to abide by everyone’s rules. There are no rules when it comes to manifestation - you create limitations for yourself. So be more aware of what limitations the teachers that you have chosen to follow have and how the limitations impact these people. Then try to decide on what it is that you want, what limitations are holding you back and how you can get around this. Pile 2 you guys are intelligent and studious - use this to your advantage now more than ever,
What you need to release
King of wands
Empowerment is not the same as domination. Be careful with your words and how you are making others feel now more than ever pile 2. Just because you are more aware of your power and limitation does not mean that you need to hang out with people who have the same belief, or that you need to change the beliefs of your friends. Focus on yourself and take inspired action when required. You may also need to be aware that you need to reel in your own expectations towards yourself and instead create little goals here and there. Have you ever tried to manifest a free cup of coffee? I have…it didn’t really work until a month later I found myself in a job where my boss buys me a cup of coffee everyday. Did I ever expect this? No! But here we are! Expect the unexpected pile 2 and be open to taking action.
❥ Personal readings available via Ko-fi
Pile 3
What you need to know
Ace of wands
Pile 3 you may either be new to manifestation or you are currently working on something new. What’s brewing? You are being asked to take a stance on your desire and your manifestation. It’s time to choose this. You need to do it. For some reason you may think that this is a bit risky - that you are closing off other options but if you truly wish for this thing to come to you, you need to choose it and be certain about it. When the time comes to make this choice though…it may be a bit dramatic?! It could be in front of people or something along those lines. But you ought to do it. There is a new beginning brewing for you so know that everything that you desire is not out of reach because if it wasn’t you wouldn’t be desiring it in the first place.
What you need to release
The magician in reverse
Pile 3 the message is the same ahah you need to take a strong stance on things right now. Commit commit commit and stop making excuses. It is also a good time for you to reassert power over some parts of your life that may currently be out of control. Whether this is your work/life balance, your friendship, your relationship or your career. You are being asked to create stronger and healthier boundaries so that you can succeed. rekindle, realign, renew, replace, reflect. Once you do his everything will fall into place naturally. I promise.
❥ Personal readings available via Ko-fi
All the love xx
#pac readings#pacreading#pac reading#pac tarot#pac#pick a photo#pick a deck#pick a picture#pick a card reading#tarot card reading#tarot readings#tarot reading#tarot community#intuitive tarot reading#intuitive reading
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Family Of Nerds: Feanorian Modern AU
(I’m sorry this is somewhat Americanized I just don’t have enough knowledge about anywhere else to make those allusions) (Also please reblog with your own headcanons or other thoughts!)
Feanor
Philologist; studies language history
Often assists at various museums, colleges, archeological sites, etc
Has published several books and given many lectures
Creates his own languages like Tengwar for fun, also is a hobby blacksmith
Teaches his children many archaic languages no one else speaks and takes his family on "educational" vacations
Also attends every convention known to man, even ones that have seemingly nothing to do with his own interests, dressed to the nines and spends his time there signing books and debating other people
Loves his wife just as madly as the day he met her and is ecstatic he married his high school sweetheart
Idolizes his father. Would have done great following his political career if he hadn't "ruined" his public image by becoming a teen parent, ultimately feels he's made the right decisions for his life though and is happy with his work
Rivalry with Fingolfin over who can host the best dinner party (and you best believe he wears smart-ass punny aprons while cooking a six course meal for his guests)
Nerdanel
Professional sculptor and multimedia artist
Teaches classes at an arts college
Is known to eat the fruit out of the bowls her students are sketching when no one is looking
Cannot cook to save her life
Enthusiastically attends every possible event in her family’s calendar no matter the weather or lack of skill at a toddler dance recital
Dresses in a fabulously bohemian eccentric artist way; stole the show when she attended the Grammys with Makalaure and has been featured in several fashion magazines
Carries all sorts of art supplies and seemingly random tools in her purse at all times, including a chisel, googly eyes, edible glitter, a bajillion hair ties, DW40, and peanut M&Ms
Has a calm, wise disposition that belies her truly chaotic nature
Often looked to for advice from her students and children and will only pull your leg when she thinks you’re being stupid
Does give genuinely good advice though, mostly because she is uncanny in her ability to read people and observe subtle hints
Maitimo
Studied communications, currently working as his father’s apprentice but hopes to find a position as a public relations specialist
Uses his intimidating stature and loud, deep voice to his advantage as needed
Was born while his parents were teenagers and still living with their families, he remembers watching cartoons with Grandpa Finwe and being babysat by his uncles
Also attended his mother’s graduation from art school as a small child and clapped until his little hands hurt
Is painfully aware of how all his younger brothers look up to him - literally - and sometimes struggles with the pressures of setting a good example, though he does much better than he realizes
Drinks his coffee from a mug that reads “don’t make this ginger snap” (Nerdanel has a matching one)
The gayest gay to ever gay, informs everyone of this via cheesy tee shirts gifted from his brothers and cousins
Drives a minivan, claims he chose it because it was the only car that would fit his legs and not because he can haul his brothers around in it
Frequently complains about missing the technology of his childhood but resents being called a millennial
Makalaure
Grammy award winning artist and composer
Created the score for a recent movie that bloomed his popularity and brought him to the limelight
Has a Youtube channel with several music videos he definitely didn’t blackmail his family into filming with him
Also performed on Broadway once and will not let you forget it
Used to skip school to busk in the train station and once caught his math teacher also skipping school
Extremely popular with interviewers, camera crew, and other industry specialists for his kindness and crazy stories about his family
Donates large amounts of his royalties to children’s hospitals and other charities
Used to hog the bathroom in the mornings to put on makeup and style his hair
Practices Beyonce dance routines in the mirror, has convinced Curufin to do them with him before
Spent a semester studying in Sydney, Australia and fainted after encountering a large spider in his dorm room
Tyelkormo
Forest ranger at a National Park
Works at outdoor summer camps every year, all the children love him and his giant fluffy dog
Also volunteers at animal shelters and the wildlife rehabilitation center at the National Park
Creatine for breakfast, lunch, and dinner; drinks so much milk Nerdanel used to tell him it was why his hair was white
Wakes up at 5 in the morning to exercise (disgusting)
Got a long bow for Christmas one year (the note said Santa but he knows it was his mom) and practices in the backyard by shooting at Amrod’s pumpkins
Metalhead, particularly likes viking metal and Nordic black metal
Made Huan his own battle vest complete with dog-themed patches such as “Bad to the Bone” and “No Leashes No Masters”
Tells the most terrible jokes you’ve ever heard then laughs like a seagull vomiting up a stolen bag of Doritos
Extremely loyal to his family, sometimes to a fault
Carnistar
Professional business accountant
Also does taxes as a side hustle because “it’s so easy”
Is obsessed with Oreos but will not admit it because of his brother's teasing about "Moryo's Oreos"
Obligatory family goth and not ashamed of it
Started mending his hand-me-down clothes as a necessity and got into sewing, now makes fantastic garments for his family and friends to wear
Halloween is the only valid holiday, he spends the entire year making his costume (it’s usually a vampire or some fandom character)
Stays up until 3am gaming on a PC he and Feanor built together one summer, favorite game is currently Balder’s Gate
Had to take speech therapy as a child and later some anger management classes.... because he got too good at expressing himself
Curufin
Silversmith and jewelry maker
Specializes in accessories for ballet dancers and other performers
Ballet dancer since he was young, never succeeded with a professional career but still practices daily and chose his specialty to remain part of the scene
Holds a serious grudge against certain critics that failed his entry to ballet academy (will not sell his products to them or their schools)
Always looking for new business opportunities, not always in the most honest of ways
Struggles with self esteem issues
Has several cats and claims they betray him when they snuggle with Huan but secretly finds it adorable
Frequently collaborates with Caranthir to make elaborate costumes just for the fun of it
Made a tiara for his favorite cat, Princess Paws
Would sleep until four in the afternoon if you let him (or if Princess Paws didn’t wake him up screaming for food)
Amrod
Gardening Club President at his school
Started a trade and barter farmers market after school to reduce waste and share the bounty of his and fellow club member’s gardens
Frequently tries to convince his parents to turn their property into a “self sufficient homestead”, leaves pamphlets and pictures of adorable baby animals lying around the house
Enlisted the help of his twin and Maitimo to build a chicken coop, forgot to ask Feanor’s permission first
Demands payment in the form of fresh caught fish or deer jerky for the use of his gourds in Tyelko’s target practice
Has definitely switched places with Amros to escape trouble or science tests
Often neglects his homework for pursuits he feels are more important, will only do it without complaint when Carnistar tells him to
Had eyes for the cool-looking red glow on the stove as a child and was banned from the kitchen for most of his adolescence
Is generally a persistent and stubborn person (wonder where he got it from)
Amros
Amateur photographer with an instagram following nearing one million
Account consists of 95% nature photography and 5% “The Adventures of Huan and Princess Paws” as he follows them around the back yard
Takes all of Makalaure’s headshots and creates his album covers, also photographs Curufin’s jewelry to upload to his retail website
“Borrows” Carnistar’s prized PC to upload and edit his photos
Conspired with Amrod to convince their elementary school classmates they were secretly Fred and George Weasley disguised as Muggles, ultimately failed because someone thought their accents “just sounded like they were copying Peppa Pig”
Still pulls out his British accent on occasion when someone needs cheering up
Inherited Nerdanel’s keen observation skills, mostly uses them to blackmail his brothers into doing his chores
But also gives the most amazing presents because he knows exactly what everyone truly wants
#tolkien#the silm fandom#silmarillion#maitimo#russandol#feanorians#feanor#nerdanel#maglor#makalaure#tyelkormo#celegorm#carnistir#caranthir#curufin#amrod#amros#ambarussa#headcanon#my works#family of nerds
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things to look forward to + ways to move forward!! <3
hello, lovelies!! i’m finally doing a pick-a-pile on this blog… after about half a year of being active
this pap will be answering 2 questions, but they have multiple parts. what’s coming in (from what i can see) and ways to get to it.
disclaimer: this pac isn’t legal advice or what you should do in your life. it is just based off your current energy. and that can change. purely for entertainment purposes.
now please, close your eyes and take a deep breath. wait until you see a swirl of colour to exhale. let your breath and spirit guide you to a pile.
piles 1 -> 2 -> 3
pile 1 — find it inside
hello, pile 1! here’s your reading :)
how close is your reward?
your reward is very close. 6 of pentacles coming out makes me have the vision on a banker grabbing their papers being put together before handing the recipient, you! maybe there’s like two more things you have to sign, or bring those documents to someone else, but at most im getting that there’s about 3 more steps left in the process? 4 at most. but seriously, you are close!
the papers can be to finally get your new business started… are you starting something like a business pile one? material wealth is coming through. the justice card comes to mind — perhaps in a legal argument with someone? i think this is the success about to come. or at least a satisfactory agreement.
what do you need to remove from your energy?
being too ambitious. you’re almost toooo focused and driven. are you cutting people off or isolating yourself from people and friends? honey you need a support group. it’s not always good to do things alone. you aren’t in a cage. your tunnel vision is too stuck on this goal you’re trying to reach. you need a breath of fresh air. just take a moment to relax and have a fun time. even students need a break from school, why do you think we have weekends? you’re wearing yourself out.
what do you need to accept?
finishing touches make everything look better. this is the final steps. just because i’m saying “oh you have abt 3 more steps” didn’t mean those are big steps. those are teeny steps. but material wealth(or a legal win) is coming either way, no matter what you change in the end. just trust the process.
a new focus & what to reject
stick to your plan! don’t back out of it last minute because you don’t like how it’s turning out. you need a BREAK! take a step back! but this doesn’t mean let everyone get into your business. keep it to yourself for now. it’s gonna work out, though!
thanks for reading, pile one! i hope this resonates, and i wish you the best!! now go have fun! stop working yourself overtime!
confirmation/additional signs: “don’t compare yourself to others”, don’t let others control you, have your own path and stick to it, “have some sort of tunnel vision”, the colour red, “girl trip!”, painting, “i need you to take a step back before i knock you on your fucking ass” — elita’s mentally not here, 555.
pile 2 — gift from the gods
hello, pile two! this is your reading!
first off, i’m doing this reading with my friend nile (nile says hi bc nile always says hi 💯) and they said they REALLY felt the need to touch on ur overall energy. so here’s what they said!
“With the number of face cards that are in this spread, and the general theme I thought about while pulling out the cards, it seems like pile 2 is the type to ask others for 2nd and 3rd opinions alot? I mainly thought about family members but it could easily be like, friends, classmates, school counselors/teachers, etc. Pile 2 maybe feels like they're conflicted because they're getting way different opinions on something (or maybe that's the normal dynamic) and they aren't sure which one is good advice and which one isn't”
don’t second guess urself 😡😡 ur intuition is always right!
how close is your reward?
this idea is brand new, isn’t it? some something you just decided to try, to dabble in. to dip your toes in, maybe as a distraction? i feel like this is something you decided to do on a whim, so maybe you’re not that far along with it. i mean you aren’t even in the pool yet… how can you start swimming? so, i would say about a 1-3 out of ten.
what do you need to remove from your energy?
wow, fear of some sort of older male figure. you may have an older sibling, nile got a brother or a cousin. they have divine masculine energy. they may or may not be a male, though. they may be someone who reaches out when they need something from you. you need to learn to start saying no to them. i also think that this could be where your double and triple checking could come in. are you someone who asks “should i do this for them?” and most of your friends say no, but you only need that one yes and you’ll take it? why would you do that to urself :( it’s so harmful to give away your energy without gaining.
nile also brought up inner voices, “inner voices that has that sort of vibe, but this is the energy of a young, mean-spirited, holier-than-thou, smart-ass that moreso likes to spout their own ideals than to actually consider what is pile 2's idea of a 'reward'” and you know what i say to this energy? SUCK ON MY DICK!
sorry. that was out of pocket. but tell them to get a life, and cut them off !!
what do you need to accept?
have u had a romantic offer? or do you think someone’s attracted to you? grab them 🤭 get ur man!! this person may also be an important friend. maybe friends w benefits? that was js a side thought. but focus on them, accept them into your life, and allow them to make your life better! i also get the feeling they could have darker hair (dirty blonde at the lightest)!! masculine energy btw!
i got the need to ask if yall r gay but 💀💀 ok girl u slay!! i’m gay too!! dw!! nblm here girly 🤞🫶‼️
a new focus & what to reject
an older, calm spirit. they could be a father or grandfather — but they could also be the person in the romantic offer trying to support you. they may advice you to focus on the here and now rather than the future or the past. stay grounded in your truth and your faith. spend some time in nature, too! you really just need a minute to take a break.
is there a person with extroverted, wild energy? they may be an energy vampire. they could be a friend of a friend, and they might spread rumors around a lot. but don’t waste too much time with them. they could make you physically sick.
that’s all i have for you, pile two! i hope your messages resonated!! have fun :)
confirmation/additional signs: “on those we call”, rapunzel’s healing song, past lives, ancestors guidance, black panther, a calming energy, (air or water sign?), the colour purple (movie + colour), issues being grounded (root chakra?), Oh No! by Marina, knowing what you want but not knowing how to get there, knowing why you make actions you don’t want to, beating yourself up, spiritually, 555.
pile 3 — black cat, do you belong?
hello pile 3!! this is ur reading :)
how close is your reward?
i also heard goal, by the way, so this may have been something you’ve been working to for a while. your card was knight of wands. homestretch, almost. i keep thinking of soccer/football. that may be something you’re into, but i’m gonna use sports references now.
this is the final quarter, not even. there’s 3 minute left in the game. you know you can win this! i feel like you’re almost too carefree in this moment though. i mean you have a carefree spirit, so that’s good! but you need more focus. overall, i would rate you the highest of any pile, a 9! at the least it’s a 9, at the most you’re literally on the last step.
what do you need to remove from your energy?
nile and i both thought it was weird/important that ace of wands came out. this is a card that obviously symbolizes new beginnings, and it’s probably the most creative card too. it shows swiftness and excitement in a challenge. you need to remove your carefreeness just for a moment to be able to grab the ace of wands from the hand of the universe. i feel like you’re being a bit lazy, so don’t! reignite your passion!
this is what nile said btw (it genuinely made me laugh 💀)
“pile 3 shouldn't just think about what they want - they should act on it! I really don't have much else to say, maybe pile 3's guides think that there's no other way to say it - it's a one way or the other type of thing, you do it or you don't - chop chop”
what do you need to accept?
5 of wands is usually about fights and rivalry, but in this context nile got sports, and i totally agree.
i mean, sports already came up in this pile for you guys already, so i feel like spirit is saying join a club or do something with other people!! stop isolating yourself! you need to do something competitive, primarily because you like fighting in a friendly way (maybe sometimes a violent way! anger issues).
if there isn’t a sport you can join, maybe because of finances or time issues, be competitive! race against yourself! do something that makes you feel good!
“if not sports, then something at the very least that gives pile 3 a sense of competition; something that makes them feel like they have to put their best foot forward to reap the best rewards! this isn't something that will wait for them if they do things half-a-step, every once in awhile kind of pace or attitude.”
in other words — DONT GO SLOW, GIRL! ACT LIKE ITS THE LAST THING U GET TO DO!! RUN!
a new focus & what to reject
focus on relationships. i want to say i get the feeling most of u guys are shifter and shifting for someone, but i could just be biased and projecting bc this like really resonates and resembles me in a lot of ways — and it’s scary!
anyways, there’s some romance in this pile. someone who has a calm spirit, maybe cold on the outside but warm on the inside. they may have been sending you signs that you haven’t been picking up much. or maybe you have been picking them up but you aren’t making an effort to reach out or you just forget easily. i totally get that, by the way, but try to put some time and focus into this romantic offer! even if it’s not in this reality, or in your mind (be delulu, and may it become trululu). nile also got this person may not want a romantic offer, but idk abt that one. getting a strong sense this is a romantic offer.
ok, sports coming through again! maybe you’ve been thinking about them a lot, but for some reason it’s in the context of something to reject. maybe this is a coach or a controlling person in a sporting way? maybe someone from your past? someone who thinks with his head, not his heart. they aren’t very emotional, and they could be cruel to you.
“maybe pile 3 is getting offers for more than one team/group? if that's the case, then I think pile 3's guides is saying to avoid the one(s) that have no-nonsense, frownie face leaders, the type of person to cut down any chances of fun and straight-up running things like a marine. whoever this is, they're way too tough on everyone else and they're allergic to fun, their authoritative stance prevents the teammates from develop a bond with each other, and this energy would probably damper pile 3's motivation.”
i’m gonna be so for real, pile 3, i had to hold off posting this pick-a-card because of yall — it’s not bad, by the way! it’s just that something that i need to say to you guys — its a personal message, i believe. i was talking to a friend, sigyn (love u girl, even if you don’t see this), and she made me think about my own journey with shifting and breaking out of a shell. i said these words: “but man, even tho i’m scared, i don’t care, because my happiness… no, im worth more than fear.”
i feel like this was what i was missing no matter what happens, no matter how scared you are of success or messing up, you are worth more than fear. it cannot hold you. and, as i said before, do it with fear. be like miles morales, jump off that roof fucking BACKWARDS. fear cannot control you, you control it. omg i’m about to cry, but you guys, fear is not all. i promise you this. if you need to talk about fear and how to get over it, send me an ask and i’ll dm you. this is not the end of this journey, nah man, this is the beginning of your life. i love you pile 3.
that’s all i got for you, pile three! wishing you the best, and i rlly hope your work pays off before the new year :) i know how hard it is to keep motivation, and keep moving after such a long time of hard work, but know it will all pay off in the end. nothing {bad} can last forever, as all things must come to an end.
confirmation/additional signs: football, hockey, sports in general, Doja Cat, fire truck (victim of sa), food, especially salads or greens, “almost there”, “i can’t give up now; i have to prove them wrong,” getting back what you lost, anger issues, self doubt, the colour blue (throat chakra?), 2020 music 💀💀 (my heart went oops by tiagz came on…! and so did savage by megan thee stallion), chaos, thriving in chaos, not from the us, barbie, sia, black and white, contrasting colours, i know better by noahfinnce — “and i won’t stop running until i hear the sirens coming…”, not stopping until you get to your goal, “i’m just ken” — ryan gosling, 69, miles morales, impulsive decisions, 555, 999, alien blues.
thank yall for reading my first pac on this blog !! it was really fun, and i hope to do it again soon <3
#abyss .speaks#reality shifting#shiftblr#reality shift#shifting#desired reality#black shifters#shifting motivation#cartomancy#cartomancy reading#free tarot#pac tarot#pac reading#tarot pac#pac#pick an image#pick a pile#pick a photo#pick a pile reading#tarotcommunity#tarot pick a card#tarot pick a pile#tarot reading#tarotblr#timeless tarot#divination#pick a card reading#pick a picture#pick a card#signs
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the younger sister
->warnings: yandere theme, obsession, death mention, reader threating people, og! Penelope, Derrick being himself, some spoiler from the novel(?)
->request by anon! may i request death is the only ending for villains where the reader is penelope younger sister? she has her own powerful magic attribute which the duke sees and keeps for but she will call out on derek, reynold and staff of the dukedom (especially emily) behavior whenever they mistreat penelope or her? I'd imagine she would have beef with all the main leads tbh and plans to run away with penelope to a distant kingdom, far away from them.
->a/n: my first request in ages is finally here! i am really happy to write after spending a time without being able to write a few personal stories. Keep in mind that request still open! good reading! Link to part two
-> the infamous story about Duke Eckhart about adopting a girl from the streets after his biological daughter disappear is know for the public. Regardless of what people tend to hide their opinions, everyone thinks about Penelope as a wild spirit and a terrible lady to her family’s name but what everyone didn’t know was the other girl that the Duke brought in too, [name].
-> the younger girl with similar looks of Penelope brought attention towards the dukedom and neither the girls like it. The oldest find it hilarious how this new family treat her younger sister in a magnificent way, giving her the greatest treatment while Penelope lives in that old shack with no resources. Knowing that everyone inside the dukedom treat her older sister like that, [name] prefer to stay at Penelope’s side in that small shack, ignoring the people’s advice to stay away from her.
-> not to forget the magical abilities the little one possesses, capable of doing immense acts to help those in needs and probably to end wars in any seconds, with such amount of powers in the hands of a younger girl. Knowing how powerful you were since birth and how no one could control you, the emperor made it clear that you would be the only magical person in the empire, after all, everyone know how capable you are of destroying anyone. The Duke was in shock to see his youngest daughter the servants and even her brothers with her abilities, gaining an amount of discipline by helping him with the taxes.
-> he has to admit, your father is worried that your behavior won’t help in the future, he is afraid that you will exclude from the society and keep living at Penelope’s side forever without anyone else. Your two older brother don’t like the idea too.
-> Reynold attempted numerous times to envolve you with activities to set up a high profile at the noble society. Taking you to balls to meet up with children of your age, sharing expensive food and toys that catch interest. But none of this worked, [name] become the chaos in person during many of the balls and scaring the children, stole the food to give it to commoners and homeless people around, the toys? Reynold try to sleep in peace knowing that any of those can fall over his face at any moment.
-> The last one to give it a try is Derrick, the person you threatened to transform into an animal and to bite when younger. The older brother give his shot to make you become a properly lady, being the one to tutor you during many subjects and that means that you can’t skip classes as you used to do. In the end, you learn the entire history, geography, mathematics that Derrick forced you during those days.
-> luckily, you have days off from them and you usually spend it at Penelope’s side, taking her out to eat delicious and unique foods with your sold jewelry, buying her dresses that make her look even more gorgeous! You truly want to help your old sister live the best life at her side, yet such dream look so far away to become reality. Not to mention the abuse she has handled in the last years to help you, you know how the staff would tried if she hadn’t interfere in time.
-> in a random day, the idea of running away from the dukedom with Penelope grown stronger in your mind and without thinking twice, you two pack up few clothes with jewelry and money that you asked the Duke for with the excuse for being for expensive dresses. everything was ready and now you two need to leave the residence without noticing that you are gone.
-> the day you were waiting for never happened. The missing daughter, Ivonne has returned home. At first you thought that would be great that the “real daughter” came back, right? Like, the Duke and the others would let you and Penelope leave this place forever, but that didn’t seem the case.
-> Duke and the two brothers refused to let [name] leave the dukedom, but allowed Penelope, saying that someone with great and magnificent powers should be part of the family. Those words didn’t hurt only Penelope deeply but made her stay, as much she wants to escape from this place, she can’t leave her younger sister behind, so she endure the pain.
-> she does that in every route where Ivonne and the male leads take you away from your beloved sister, saying how you are being manipulated and dragged to a downfall if you stay at Penelope’s side. That’s don’t really matter, you speak to all of them every time, you wants to stay at your sister’s side forever and unfortunately that never happen.
-> with every route ending with Penelope being took away from [name], the poor girl become quiet and lose her sparkle of live. The once loud and chaotic girl is gone, leaving an empty shell of someone that everyone used to know and now they pity the younger Eckhart. It’s mention that in every end that [name] either leaves the dukedom to live somewhere else away from her family, teaching younger children to properly use magic or keep living at the small shack at the property, avoiding everyone til her last breath.
-> the tragic story of the two sisters always manage to make Siyeon emotional. Penelope and [name] were inseparable from the beginning to the end of their lives, something that Siyeon a little bit jealous, the villainess had a sweet sister to support each others in times where the world were against them, could she ever have someone like [name] in her live?
-> unfortunately Siyeon’s dreams become reality when she become Penelope in the hard mode, experience what the original villainess suffered along side [name], the little girl who never left her older sister side no matter the circumstances.
-> as much Penelope is angry and scared of this new life where everyone and everything is against her, constantly trying to destroy her at any moment. She is happy to finally having someone at her side to help her, at any period, to achieve the happiness that she didn’t experience in her past life.
-> She promise to give [name] the life she deserves at her side, knowing that the two of them will get their happiness after suffering for so long far way from the dukedom
@lyomeii stuff || don’t repost
#yandere headcanon#yandere imagine#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere platonic#yandere death is the only ending for the villainess#death is the only ending for the villainess x reader#death is the only ending for a villainess#yandere penelope eckhart#yandere female x reader#yandere derrick eckhart#yandere manhwa
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Through The Ashes | Chapter Two
Summary: You've been given an offer to join the 141 Task Force. Upon taking it, you find yourself ensnared with the mysterious masked man who won't take his eyes off you.
Warning(s): mentions of drowning, minor injuries.
A/N: I have mixed feeling about this chapter. I don't know if I like it or not lmao... | Word Count: 3.1k
꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GHOST MASTERLIST
⋆ ⚘ 🕊 ˚✧ ₊˚ʚ prev. chapter | next chapter // requests | ao3 | playlist
No Way Out
“You can do better than that.” His voice taunts you as you attempt to knock him over with your punches. A smug smirk forms on Soap’s face as he keeps dodging your best attempts to one-up him.
Sweat poured down your face. This back-and-forth tussle had gone on for over ten minutes, and Soap wasn’t going to let you off easily. Over your first few weeks, you could tell he was beginning to enjoy you being there, and it felt as if you were finally fitting in with them. At least most of them.
You kept swinging, only managing to get a few solid hits on the gloves he was holding up.
“Time out,” you say breathlessly, holding onto your thighs as you try to get your bearings.
“Giving up already?” Soap taunted sarcastically, taking the boxing gloves off and going off to the side to take a drink. You simply shake your head, giving him an eye roll as your reply. He could bounce off the walls for days and still not be tired.
Just as you began to calm your breathing, the sound of a throat clearing made you whip your head around.
It’s exactly who you thought it was. The man who has uttered about fifty words to you over the course of two weeks.
“You’re blocking the weights.” Ghost states in his typical dry inflection. You swiftly step off to the side, moving out of his way.
He grabs a few weights and moves to his own section, acting as if he’s not still watching you, but he hasn’t stopped since the day you got there.
You were about to exit the gym when, to your surprise, he spoke again. “Those were some pathetic punches earlier. Not going to knock anyone out with those,” somehow he managed to sound even more judgemental than he usually did.
You let out a scoff and turned around to face him, watching as he lifted the weights in his hands effortlessly. “Isn’t that the point of training? To… train?” It comes out more quick-tempered than you wanted, but if he can get away with it so can you.
He rolls his eyes without even rolling them. “Not if you don’t improve your form.”
“Alright,” you place a hand on your hip, letting him get whatever amusement out of this conversation he thought he was. “Are you offering a training session?”
“Only if you listen to what I say.” He finishes his rep and sets the weight down, standing square in front of you, raising his palms. Unlike Soap, he didn’t even bother with the boxing gloves.
“Now raise your fists. When you punch, twist your body with the momentum.” He says, waiting patiently for your first jab.
You wind yourself up with a deep breath and slug his palms. He has little to no reaction, and he looks disappointed. “Use your weight, otherwise you’re just slapping the enemy.” His tone has a hint of impatience now.
You give one more, this time using his advice. Of course, he isn’t phased by them yet. “Better...”
That’s all you needed to hear. That’s the closest to praise you’re going to get from someone like him. “I passed the test?” You tilt your head, letting a grin spread across your face.
Ghost furrows his brows, distorting the balaclava fabric above his eyes. “Alright, keep your knickers on.” He says in annoyance, before returning to his weight-lifting.
—
Everyone is deep into reading the work material in front of them, when the door slams open, and Price steps in front of everyone. It was the first time you’d seen such a stern expression on his face.
“I want everyone to be focused. This might be one of the most dangerous missions we’ve attempted yet.” You felt like your stomach dropped to your feet at his words, matching the look on everyone else’s faces as their attention snapped to Price.
“We’ve received word from one of our sources. The reason we aren’t picking up anything useful with the bugs is because we’ve been looking above ground.” He begins passing out intel folders, one for everyone.
You peel the cover back, seeing a map of some sort of maze. Confusion reads on your face and the others around you.
Then it occurs to you why this was so dangerous. It wasn’t a maze. It was a tunnel system. Gallons and gallons of unpredictable water, rushing down tunnels that may have no exit for miles. How were you supposed to find anything useful in a place like that?
“I want you all to study this layout as best as you can. It is to be believed, they’re using the water tunnels to keep off our radar.”
—
The wetsuit wasn’t very comfortable. But the awful part was that your comfort was the least of your concerns right now.
“Follow your instincts. Look for anything suspicious. There’s no guarantee this will lead to anything.” You hear Price’s voice in your ear as he prepares the team.
“If you hear the water coming, hold onto something. If you can’t do that… Hold your breath.”
Price’s words chill you to your core. Every bone in your body was screaming for you to turn around and run back home, but that wasn’t the job. You had no choice.
Complete the mission, or die trying. No take-backs. No running away.
The 141 stood outside the tunnel. Even the moonlight couldn’t illuminate the inside of it. With hesitation, you followed behind them in formation, rifles drawn and ready. You turned around and took one more good look at the glimmer before each advancement further consumed the light more and more.
After a few feet, everyone flipped their night-vision headset down, switching it on. It took a few seconds for your eyes to adjust to the saturation of the green as you stumbled a bit, relying only on the sounds of their feet to guide you.
Water trickled down the walls. The smell of rust and mildew made your nose crinkle in disgust. The tunnel seemed to be endless. How could this tunnel system be connected to El Sin Nombre?
“Anything up ahead?” You asked Ghost, who was leading the formation. He answers with a soft negative. As you proceed further down the tunnels, they widened and had more disorienting turns. This was the part on paper that looked like a maze.
It was obvious there wasn’t a living soul down there aside from you and your squadmates. You examine the patterns of the turns around you, or lack thereof. You noticed the turns that had vents instead of dead-end walls, others looked like crawl spaces that led somewhere.
You spoke up, “It’s like a puzzle. The grates open, water floods here, stopping it from flowing somewhere else. What does that have to do with a cartel?”
Some of them mutter in agreement, and the others just keep following. Even if your theory was correct, everyone here was out of their depth, and there was nothing out of the ordinary.
“The walls are getting taller.” Soap comments, and you noticed it too.
You reach a bigger space, which is like an intersection the tunnels all connect to. A meeting point in the middle. The walls had to be at least ten feet tall by now. Deep down you wondered if this was just a piece of intel that leads nowhere.
“There’s nothing here, Cap,” Soap says into his earpiece, his voice echoing along the tunnels as he speaks.
“Make sure of it.” Price’s voice chirps back through the static. “Then, get the hell out of there.”
All of you turned to retrace your steps, finding this underground exploration completely useless.
The sound of the tunnels groaning halted any movements. All eyes darted around, but you could hear a needle drop. It got more ferocious, and within seconds, you were scrambling to get out of there.
“Everyone out now!” Ghost’s voice boomed, reverberating even harsher after.
—
Burning. That’s the sensation you remember in your lungs as the water went over your head. Thrashing around, smacking into one another as the gallons of it rushed through the tunnels, forcing you to follow the way of them.
You felt the arms of one of your teammates, but couldn’t remember who. You must’ve grabbed them out of instinct before you had time to process it.
Each time your head poked above the water, you choked on it more and more. The woosh of the rushing water drowned out any sounds around you. It was mere seconds before the pressure of the water drove you underneath repeatedly, each time you lost a little more stamina to resist it.
The speed of the water smacked you into someone's gear, knocking you out cold.
—
A deep wheeze let out of you when you opened your eyes. Looking around you, you were separated from your team. If there was a team left. You were on the bank of a small river, gripping onto the ground below you. You must’ve washed up where one of the tunnels runs off to.
As you continued to gasp for air, you coughed a few times, spilling out some of the water that was trapped in your lungs.
With a grunt, you forced yourself to your feet. Every muscle in your body was exhausted from fighting against the currents. As you wiped the mud from your hands onto your suit, you scanned the area around you. No sign of your squadmates anywhere, dead silence.
You pressed the button on your mic, but none of your words were making it through. Shit, no signal.
You groaned in frustration and began schlepping downstream, hoping you would see a helicopter or military vehicle you could use to contact Price. So far, you were out of luck.
You continued walking along the water, keeping your eyes peeled for any sign of life around you.
It felt like an endless walk, your wetsuit squishing the mud with each step. Every sound of the surrounding wilderness was muffled by the water still trapped in your ears, making it even more difficult to get your bearings.
Suddenly, you feel a set of hands grabbing your shoulders. The muffled voice is finally audible when the person is close enough to you. “Did you find the others?” You jerked around, seeing Gaz’s wide eyes meet yours. He looks about as beat up as you did.
It took you a few seconds but you eventually shook your head at his question. You rattle your head in an attempt to unclog your ears, which gives a bit of relief.
“I washed up by that river. Haven’t seen anyone else since.”
“Let’s keep walking,” Gaz responds, keeping his head as you both continue to comb the area.
—
Gaz hands you the binoculars he had around his neck, one of the only pieces of equipment he still had.
“I think I see something.” You say, seeing some movement in the distance.
Gaz almost leaves you in his dust as he eagerly runs towards the movement.
“God Damn thing!” It was a voice you recognized. It was Soap. He throws the walkie-talkie he had in his hands with all his force. The thing practically shatters when it hits the ground. You’re just glad that you managed to find another person. But deep down, you had a sick feeling about where Ghost could be. What if he drowned? Or he’s stuck in the tunnels somewhere?
“We lost everything in there too, Soap,” Gaz says, attempting to calm the other man. “We’ll find something. There’s gotta be a radio around here somewhere, or a vehicle… We need to contact Price.”
—
The three of you began to find your way back to the tunnels. There was no way any of you were leaving Ghost behind. If he had gotten out of them unscathed, he would’ve followed the water and regrouped by now. You had a sick feeling in your stomach about this. He could already be a goner, and you all would be too late.
You approached an entrance into the tunnels, a different one than where you entered them before. It was a shot in the dark searching them, but Ghost would do the same for any one of his colleagues.
You silently patrolled the tunnels, keeping a tight formation, listening for any signs of life.
“Hold on,” you held up your hand, leaning your head in the direction of the sound you heard. “There’s something…” You didn’t bother to wait for the two behind you as you sprinted around corners, shouting out Ghost’s name - hoping that it really was him.
The groans grew louder as your footsteps slowed so you could listen better. When you peered around a corner, you saw him. Your heart skipped a beat, and you got this feeling of accomplishment. Like if you hadn’t found him, you’d be failing someone who wouldn’t hesitate to search the ends of the Earth for you.
“Ghost…” You muttered, rushing over to him. “I need help over here!” You exclaimed, calling the other two to your location. The two of them rush over in an instant, examining him before they hoisted him up, supporting his weight between the two of them.
You took their gear so they could focus on Ghost and get him outside. They set him down in the grass. He was worse off than all of you combined. His arm was busted up, though he was attempting to brush off the attention.
“I’m alright.” His cold tone is back, even after a near-death experience.
Soap gives him a glare and finds some bandage in the backpack, using it as a makeshift sling for Ghost’s arm.
“Price will have helicopters sweeping this area soon, I know he will. We won’t be out here long,” Soap speaks into the humid air, attempting to calm everyone’s shot nerves.
You kneel next to one another in the damp grass, looking around and listening for any signs of the helicopters. You glanced over at Ghost, who you could tell was struggling to keep himself upright. You noticed a slice by his rib, which cut through the fabric of his wetsuit.
“You’re bleeding.” You say quietly, motioning at the blood coming from his abdomen. He merely murmurs inaudible disapproval, managing to brush off the attention even in his most vulnerable moments.
You ignored his stubbornness and peeled back the torn fabric of his suit, seeing a large slice along his upper stomach. You rifled through the small first aid kit and poured some disinfectant on the gash. He stifled a moan, but you could tell this wasn’t his first time with an injury like this - and probably won’t be the last. With the remaining bandage, you wrapped it around his tender abdomen, hoping that would keep the area clean until the helicopters arrived.
Several minutes of waiting passed. The chopper blades woke you all out of your positions in the grass. Soap and Gaz rose to their feet immediately, waving down the chopper. Ghost stood up on his own, using his remaining strength to get up with one arm.
You felt a relief like you never have. Waiting for the chopper began to feel like an eternity, and you were just glad to get out of this hellhole.
—
“I’m glad you’re all standing.” Price greeted the group when they arrived back, giving each of them a scan as they walked past him. “Go get checked out in medical and get some rest.” He followed each of your movements with his eyes. You could tell he was concerned, wondering what happened back there. He must’ve lost contact with all of you pretty quickly.
Aside from a mild concussion and some scrapes and bruises, you felt lucky to still be standing on your own two feet. The other two had similar injuries from the mission, and they were resting away in their own quarters, probably savoring the few hours of relaxation they would get out of this cooldown.
—
It was the middle of the night. You strolled into the kitchenette, not expecting anyone to be awake after such a hellacious day it was. The figure sitting at the table made you jump slightly, though he didn’t look phased. He’s sitting there, no lights on in the kitchen. A bottle of Scotch is sitting on the table in front of him, and by the looks of it, he’s made quite a dent.
“You’re not supposed to drink when you’re on those painkillers.” Your tone wasn’t even judgmental. It was more of an acceptance that he was going to do these things regardless. He didn’t care about himself. That’s just the way he was.
He scoffed and took another sip, looking straight ahead of him.
“How’s the arm?” You question as you stand next to the table, looking into his eyes for a few seconds, before you both break away from the stare, almost in unison.
He nods, “It’s alright. Nothing I can’t handle.” His tone is almost cocky for a second. You wonder if he does that on purpose. But why?
You give a soft chuckle, knowing he’s probably been through worse. You grab a glass from the cabinet and pour yourself some of the whiskey as well, eating your words. You both sit in silence for a while, sipping on your drinks, but obviously, he’s ahead of you by a few. The burn in your stomach soothes the aches your body was still experiencing.
After a bit of sitting there, he slides the bottle your way and leans back in his chair, stretching his back.
You would be lying if you said you weren’t ogling him. The skin peaked through when his shirt rode up. The way you could see his toned core and the waistband of his sweatpants showed off his v-line. Hopefully, he was too drunk to notice. That was your only crutch to lean on if you were caught.
Without a word, he went to bed, leaving you to feel prudish all by yourself.
—
After a few minutes of sitting alone in the kitchen you stumble to bed. Memories of the distressing mission flooded your head. You remember the feeling of your hands gripping onto someone, and then blackness. Something about it felt like you already knew the answers, your brain just didn’t put all the pieces together yet.
“I got you.” The tender phrase echoed through your ears over and over, making you sit up in your bed.
It was his voice. Ghost. It had to be Ghost.
He’s typically a great swimmer, one of the best trained on the team. He would’ve had time to move to cover, but he didn’t.
You didn’t grab him as you fought the waves, he grabbed you. You thought maybe you were thinking about it all too deeply.
It was a bold theory, but you began to wonder if that’s how he hurt his arm - blocking your body from the violent water.
TAGLIST - @neoarchipelago
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