i hate my internal clock bestie there is ZERO reason why i have to be up at SIX O CLOCK IN THE MORNING

Dark Empress

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader

Warning: mentions of blood, swearing

Word Count: 1,822

Part Two

This has been something floating around in my head for awhile now🤷‍♀️🤪

The galaxy had an infinite number of stars, and an infinite number of galaxies that could, or couldn’t have living beings in them. Letting out a frustrated groan, you couldn’t help but believe you were the dumbest in all the galaxies. You had gotten captured by Storm Troopers. It’s not like they would let you go. You were a higher up in the Resistance.

It wasn’t until you were captured that you felt scared. Of course you’ve been captured before, but you’ve never been captured by the Empire before. It wasn’t until recently that there was talk going around about, how bad ‘Kylo Ren’ was. He was tough and didn’t care about anyone he hurt.

That didn’t give you much hope in getting out alive let alone much hope in getting out. You knew the chances of surviving your capture would be slim to none. Being force sensitive you had met Kylo, on several occasions. After the first couple meetings, it was almost like you could sense something. Something like, kindness. You didn’t know much about him, but you knew enough to form your own opinion about him. One of them being he was misunderstood. Being the kind hearted person you were, you often tried to see the good in people, even if that person was the leader of the Empire.

Over the last few months, you had started to develop feelings for Kylo, though you’d never admit it aloud. Seemingly, as you accepted your fate, two Storm Troopers appeared in front of your cell block.

“Come with us.” They said as their voices were masked by a mechanical sound from their helmets.

You rolled your eyes before responding with a scoff, “Like I have a choice, you goons.”

Once they entered your cell block, they placed thick metal handcuffs that were connected together by a chain. There was a Storm Trooper in front of you, and one behind you, leaving you with no way to escape. It wasn’t apparent where they were leading you, but it was farther than they had before.

They lead you into an interrogation room. As the realization dawned on you, you tried to bolt from the room. The Storm troopers were quick and injected you with anesthetics. Once, you had awoken you noticed a familiar face. It was Kylo Ren. You were strapped to an interrogation chair with invisible straps.

“Good. You’re awake.” His deep voice sounded.

“What do you want from me?” You spat voice filled with bitterness.

“I think you know what I want.”

“I’m not of any use to you. We both know that. Why don’t you save us both some time and let me go.”

“Now why would I do that? Here I thought we were having fun.”

Before you could snap back, you felt excruciating pain in your mind. He was trying to pry the information from you. He wanted the satisfaction of seeing your pain, but you weren’t going to give it to him. It took every once of strength you had, not to scream or cry or flinch in pain.

“Why don’t you save your flirting for the scavenger girl.” You quipped back, it was evident on his face you had caught him off guard.

With a huff, he exited the room. The feeling of relief had flooded through your body as you almost collapse against the chair.

It had been three days since your last encounter with Kylo. You didn’t bother moving from your current position during that time. Laying on your left side, looking out of the window, wondering how Finn and Poe were doing. 

Kylo, decided that he was going to have you one last shot. He appeared at the door to your cell block, not even bothering to acknowledge the intruder. 

“Follow me.” 

“Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’? I want to discuss something.”

“Since when?”

Kylo let out a frustrated groan. If you weren’t the most stubborn person he had ever met. Here he thought he was.

“Come with me, don’t come with me. Fine.”

“Alright. I’ll bite.”

This caught him off guard. He hadn’t expected you to fold so quickly. As you were following him, to where ever it is he wanted to take you, the thought of going into his mind crossed through yours. Why not take a chance seeing as you won’t live to tell the tale. It only took a matter of seconds for him to react.

“Don’t ever try to get inside my head,” he snarled, slamming you against one of the hallway walls in the ship, trapping you between either of his arms. It felt like years had passed under his intense glare. After, awhile his expression softened along with his voice, “It’s too dark for you.” Taking a step back, he continued on down the hallway, expecting you to follow, as you did. 

He took you to the command center, giving you one last chance to become one of the First Order Commanders. Both of you stood in the middle of the command center arguing. 

“Nobody else will be as understanding as I am.” He spat bitterly.

“Oh? Is this you being understanding?”

“This is a serious matter. Being immature won’t help you.”

“Oh please. You’re just pissed because you won’t get to play hero.”

Letting out a frustrated huff he continued, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“It means, that I can save myself. I don’t need the ‘great’ Kylo Ren, to step in and save me!”

“Wh-”

“I’m a damsel. I’m in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day!”

Turning on your heels, you angerly, walked towards the door. As, soon as you had made it into the hallway, there was a man that collapsed five feet away from you. Seeing as you were a Doctor for the Resistance, you bolted over to the unconscious man. 

“Sir can you hear me?”

He let out a moan in pain.

“Sir, my name is Y/N. I’m a Doctor, i’m here to help.”

You were so engrossed in trying to help the man, that you didn’t notice Kylo make his way over to you, and observe you. A couple First Order Medical personal, had made their way to you. 

 “How can we help?”

Being so focused on helping the man, you barely registered what they were saying to you. It wasn’t long before the man came to and was yelling expletives at everyone around him. He took a look at your outfit and saw that it wasn’t what the First Order workers wear. You had sent the First Order medical personal to get the necessary supplies needed to help him.

“Get away from me, you Rebel Scum!”

“Sir, I need you to calm down.”

“Don’t touch me with your filthy Rebel hands!”

It had been a long day. You were tired of putting up with the First Order and their crap. The mad had been shot, and the bullet that was lodged safety has now been dislodged.

“If you want me to stop, then I will. I won’t bother wasting my time for someone who can’t see past the First Order.”

By this time you were covered in this mans blood.

“Daddy!”

“Don’t be stupid John! Let the woman help you! Please!”

You and John turned to look at both his daughter, and an older woman you presumed to be his wife. 

“They’re right,” he said breathy, “I’m sor...”

“John!”

“Daddy!” 

“Get them away from here!” you yelled to nobody in particular. There was a big crowd starting to form in the hallway you were currently occupying. 

“You heard her get everyone out of here!” A husky voice barked. Flinching, you didn’t think he would still be there. Continuing to work feverishly, you were able to get John stable. He was currently in the infirmary, hooked up to an IV, sleeping. You and Kylo, had been sitting beside his bed. Surprisingly, he staid with you the whole time.

“Go on baby, ask her.”

 “Excuse me, Miss Y/N?”

You and Kylo, moved to the hallway to speak to the wife and daughter of John.

“Yes?”

“We just want to say thank you, for saving daddy.” The little girl hurled her tiny body, at your legs in an effort to hug you. Chuckling, you knelt down so you could give her a proper hug. 

“Do you think the tall man in black would let me hug him?” she whispered in your ear.

A warm smile, had spread across your face, “Let me ask him.” You whispered back. She still had her arms wrapped around your neck when you decided to press your luck. You reached up to where Kylo’s gloved hand was, before wrapping your fingers around his, and lightly tugging them down. To your surprise, Kylo obliged kneeling down close to you. 

Slightly leaning over to him, you whispered, “she would like to know if she could give you a hug too.” Surprise, spread across his face, as he looked between your face and the small girls face.

“Okay Mia, that’s enough for today. I don’t think the ‘Supreme Leader,’ wants to be bothered by this.” Her mom interjected.

“It’s alright.” Kylo said softly, causing Mia to squeal, and throw herself at Kylo causing him to lose balance, and fall backwards with Mia clinging to him. He looked at you with shock in his face. The scene before you, caused you to giggle and then burst out laughing. Kylo had a not too subtle blush on his cheeks. 

“Mia! I’m so sorry Supreme Leader!” Her mom bellowed. Once, Kylo gained composure, he sat upright with Mia in his lap. His Leg was fully touching yours at this point, and neither of you tried to move away.

“It’s quite alright.” 

Mia looked between you and Kylo, before she threw one of her arms around you, and the other around him pulling the both of you in for one last hug. Kylo’s right arm, wrapped around your waist to keep the three of you balanced, the touching gesture, caught you off guard. 

“Say goodbye Mia. Let’s go home.”

Both you and Kylo waved to her as she left. 

“Don’t say anything.” His voice laced with sarcasm.

“What? I wasn’t going to!” You smiled, laughing.

Kylo, had talked you into working as a Doctor, for the First Order. It wasn’t hard, considering you loved being able to help people. It had been almost a year since you joined the First Order. You weren’t a solider, but you did help the wounded ones, that came back. 

Over that time, you and Kylo had grown close, especially, since you shared a force bond. He would consider you his friend, while you had developed romantic feelings for him. Tonight, there was a big ball and Kylo, had invited you to go as his date. You wanted to take the leap and try to get him to see you as something other than a friend. 

👄 whiskey lips*👄

arón piper imagine

*

„Hey y/n... shh wake up."

I was woken by someone shaking my shoulder.

It was Alvaro, I figured after opening my eyes and being hit by the sunlight right into em.

„Huh?" I asked tired and slowly sat up.

Thats when I realized I really had fallen asleep at the beach.

I slowly looked around and saw that the boys were gone.

„The guys are back at the house. You are burned."

He spoke in his cute accent.

I scanned my body and saw that, in fact, i was really red. Well I didnt use sunscreen because I just came down to the beach to bring Arón his phone which he had forgotten. Then we ended up splashing each other in the water and then I unfortunately fell asleep.

„Yeah. Uh thanks for waking me. Let's go."

I got up, grabbed my bag and walked next to Alvaro back up to the house Ally, their manager, had rented for us for a couple of days to get some rest from all the traveling lately.

„When did the guys leave?"

I asked Alvaro when we walked up the stairs.

„Like uhm... 10 minutes ago."

I nodded. „Okay."

Alvaro and I didnt really talk the rest of the walk. Not because we dont like each other, it was more because Alvaro was a rather shy guy and so was I. So no one ever started a conversation.

I do like Alvaro, but i feel like we just dont have too much in common.

When we arrived at the house I walked in first, directly to my room to immediately moisturize my skin from the already burned incident.

Then I took off my bikini and put on a comfy bra, a big shirt and some shorts before walking downstairs meeting the guys in the living room.

Arón, Itzan and Omar were shirtless, for whatever reason. I mean Miguel and Alvaro survived as well even tho they were wearing shirts.

„Hey sleeping beauty, uh damn u got burned."

Itzan said and put away his phone looking at me grinning.

„Didnt you use any sunscreen?"

Omar asked then and started laughing like crazy seeing my beetroot red face.

„Noo, because I never meant to fall asleep. Why didnt any of you wake me?"

-„Arón wanted to but we felt bad because you were sleeping like a baby."

Aw he wanted to wake me because Arón knew I would get burned, i told him before.

„Well..." was all I was able to say before Itzan pulled me down at my shorts making me sit next to him on the couch with me legs on his lap. „So girl, how you doin in general?"

Itzan grinned at me, then touching my cheek trying to feel up my sunburned skin.

„Im okay."

-„Can we watch a movie and order some food?"

I then suggested and looked at all the guys.

„Actually Omar cooked for us. But for a movie Im totally in. Lord of the Rings?"

Arón words made me smile. He remembered how much I loved Lord of the rings.

The rest of the guys apparently noticed mine and Arón's staring because they started making kissing noises and i heard stuff like „uhh guys hitting it off hard" of „Arón get her".

We all started laughing and Itzan grabbed my leg and said:"Yo Arón, she's my babe tho, u can have her but first u gotta pass me."

I hit him in the shoulder. Not for the „she's mine", for the „u can have her".

I've always seen Arón as an amazing guy. He's beautiful as hell, has the nicest personality ever, is caring and loving yet he hasnt had a good girlfriend at all.

Thats why he's mostly really awkward around me, he just doesnt know how to behave around a girl. Especially a girl that keeps staring at him, preserving his beauty.

„Alright let's watch a movie."

Miguel spoke and we set up the movie and Alvaro brought in the food spreading it within us.

*

About an hour into the first movie my head kept falling down and my eyes got really heavy. I felt bad because they were watching the movie because of me but i got so tired that I just got up and said:"I'm gonna go sleep. Nighty guys."

-„Ey! No kiss for papá?" Omar asked confused grabbing my arm.

„No way. You'll get a hug but thats it."

He seemed pissed but nodded. So I gave him a hug, said good night to the rest of the boys and headed upstairs.

The moment I opened the bathroom door I heard a „Wait"

from behind me.

„Arón." i smiled.

„Whats up?"

He came up to me and asked rather shyly:"Might I get a goodnight hug too?"

I smiled even wider from all his cuteness.

I took a step closer to him and pulled him in a nice warm hug. He put his arms around my waist and held me really close for a while, giving me the opportunity to inhale his sweet scent of the chocolate he had eaten before.

„Buenas noches y/n." he then whispered and smiled at me.

„Goodnight Arón." i giggled and entered the bathroom real quick.

I have never giggled from anything a guy has said.

What is he doing to me?

Without thinking about it, I got ready for bed. When I changed into my pants I noticed something in my back pocket.

It was a little note saying:"You looked pretty today."

Was that from Arón? But it seems more like something Miguel would say. I was wearing those pants sleeping at the beach, so everyone could've put it in my pocket tho...

I then walked to my room, snuggled into bed and watched some videos before putting my phone aside and turning off the lights.

I still heard the guys downstairs but I just ignored it and tried to sleep. Unfortunately I couldn't because they were talking really loud, so I slowly headed back downstairs.

„Hey uh guys?"

They all turned around to look at me.

„Could you please keep it down a little bit?"

They nodded and Alvaro said:"Of course y/n. Everything for you."

This led to even more noise coming from the guys.

All except Arón.

Where was he?

„Night."

I went back to my room and kept staring into the dark, still thinking about the note. I dont know the guys' handwritings so it really could've been everyone.

And still i was wondering where Arón had been.

Something that second made me get up to walk to his room.

I knocked at the door lightly and got a „yeah" response.

I slowly opened the door and saw Arón sitting on his bed with a lot of polaroids in front of him.

„Hey?" he spoke, which sounded a little bit like a question. „I didnt know you collected polaroids."

Before he could answer I sat next to him on the bed, looking at the photos.

„Yeah uh my mom got me a polaroid camera for my birthday and i kind of like to capture moments on instant film."

This simple fact made me go crazy. I've always been a big fan of polaroid cameras, i had 4 to be honest:D

„Thats amazing."

I looked into his eyes and saw the sincere agreement in his brown puppy eyes.

„Can I take a picture of you?"

He then asked rather shyly and smiled at me.

I laughed a little embarrassed because i really hate it when people take pictures of me.

„O-okay." I answered and smiled back.

-„Smile for me." Arón took a camera and held it in front of me.

„No wait."

-„yeah?"

I laughed again and said:"Lets take one together."

He hesitated for a second but then agreed and I sat right next to him.

„Alright, ready?"

I looked at him smiling and nodded before looking back at the camera.

-„I,2,3."

And the flash went off. Seconds later the instax wide film came out of the camera and I took it with my left hand.

„Dont shake it." Arón said.

I gave him a serious look and spoke:"I know. I have a polaroid myself."

He grinned, then took the picture out of my hand and we kept staring at it as it was developing.

When it was clear i started smiling. I was smiling into the camera while Arón stuck his tongue out looking at me.

It was honestly super cute.

„Here." He gave it back to me.

„You keep it."

I smiled ever wider but then said:"No its your film. You bought it, that shit is expensive."

Arón grinned again and then simply added:"No you keep the picture and in return we take some more with my phone, then i got some too."

Laughing I agreed. He took his phone and we started taking some selfies.

At first we really took it serious to take some pretty pictures but at some point we didnt care anymore and were just goofying around.

„I love this one." i laughed and scrolled through his phone.

I was having a lot of fun and I guess Arón did too because I have never seen this guy so happy. Laughing all the time and he literally got out of his comfort zone I could see that.

Usually he was really serious but right now he was relaxed and seemed to be happy.

Which made me happy since I knew about his past and all.

„Send them to me!" I laughed and looked at him as he was looking at the pictures himself. He was honestly so beautiful, jesus christ.

„Do u think the guys are still downstairs?"

He asked without looking up.

„Should we check?"

-„Yeah."

Arón and I then walked through the hallway. The guys made some noise so they were obviously still downstairs.

„Hey guys." I said and jumped onto the couch sitting next to Omar.

„I thought u wanted to sleep dude." He hit Arón in the leg as he sat down as well.

„Yeah but i couldnt. I met Y/n on the hallway when I went to the bathroom and we decided to join u guys again."

Wait what?

He really denied hanging out with me. Was he embarrassed?

„Nice. We actually wanted to hit this beach bar in 30. Do you guys want to come with us?"

Miguel spoke.

Im actually not a big fan of partying but right now i was bored as hell and since i love dancing, why not?

„Im in." i said.

All the boys looked at me in confusion because I usually never go out with me. They know how much I hate clubs and alcohol.

„Wow okay. Arónsky?"

Arón shook his head.

„Oh come on dude. Even y/n is going."

-„Nah I'm not in the mood to partying."

I looked at Arón and decided to work my female charme to make him go with us. „Aróny, please come with us. For me."

The guys started groaning again but Arón started laughing.

„Alright. But no one is going to make me drink anything tonight."

So we got up to get ready for the beach party event we saw a sign of.

„Back in the living room in 30 okay party people?"

Omar ordered and we all went into our rooms.

*

*

After 10 minutes of staring at my closet I decided to wear a boho dress Ive bought recently. Since it was very hot out still I only needed the dress and some shoes.

I then applied some make up, not too much though, and put my hair into a half up bun.

Then I went downstairs where I met Itzan looking just fine as always. I gasped because he looked so good. The loose shirt made him look even broader.

„Damn girl u look hot."

He grinned and put some dished into the sink.

„I could say the same about you Itzan."

He laughed a little and then came up to me.

„I like it, a lot actually."

He scanned my body, making me slightly uncomfortable.

„Thanks." i whispered and looked to the ground.

„Nah come on, look at me."

He lifted my chin with his thumb. When my eyes met his soft brown ones he smiled and mumbled:"You'll dance with me tonight, im telling you."

I laughed a little, of course I would dance with this guy. He's a god on the dance floor and I could learn a lot from him.

„Oyy guys." I immediately stepped back and turned around.

„Oh y/n lookin good!" Omar cheered and came down to us.

„Thanks." I smiled and then sat onto the couch with my phone in my hands.

„Alright I'm done." I heard Arón's voice coming from the stairs.

Fuck he looked good. Itzan looked hot, yeah, but Arón's outfit gave me chills everywhere.

„Wow." i whispered and looked at him.

Apparently I said it louder than i thought because Omar started making kissing noises again and Arón looked down slightly embarrassed.

Fuck...

„Chicos y Chica, estamos aquí."

Alvaro and Miguel ran downstairs looking good as well.

„Alright lets hit the party."

Itzan grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, outside the house.

„Jeez Itz. Chill. Im coming."

He laughed with his funny dirty laugh and started running down the stairs to the beach with me on his arm.

„Guys hurry up!" he yelled back to the guys who were just laughing at his eager running.

*

When we all had arrived at the bar we already heard some good latin music playing and people dancing.

„See u later guys, y/n follow me."

-„Wait what?"

Before I understood what was going on, Itzan had pulled me with him to the bar.

„Have a drink and then we'll dance." I laughed and nodded. „Alright, but only one. I hate being drunk."

Itzan knew that I hated it so he understood and ordered me a Sex on the beach. (Classic him:D)

For himself he got a Bacardi-Cola and some shot I didnt even know.

„And go." We chugged our drinks really fast and once the glasses were empty, he pulled me (again) to the dance floor. He started moving his hips right away and I was feeling a little uncomfortable but after a while I got more and more fluent in my motions and at some point Itzan and I were grinding against each other (in a non-sexual way tho) and I was having a lot of fun.

Itzan was such an amazing dancer and guy but still i had feelings for Arón and i definitely wanted to dance with him after that. Itzan spun me around so his stomach was touching my back. I could feel his abs just right and his breath against my neck.

„Me gusta como tu mueves tus caderas baby." he whispered in my ear giving me chills.

I didnt understand what he said since I dont speak Spanish yet he turned me on somehow.

But no! I like Arón, not Itzan.

„Do you want to get out of here hun?"

I immediately turned around and looked at Itzan who was biting his lower lip.

„Itz I'm sorry... But i honestly like Arón a lot and uh I dont want to hurt you, you're amazing at dancing but dont hate me for saying that."

He smiled and answered against the loud music:"I knew you liked him. Even though you're beautiful as hell and I'd love to have u as well. But im fine, you go girl. Get your man." Once I turned around I saw Arón dancing with a girl.

And it was not just dancing, they were basically all over each other. He met my eyes, looked at me for a second and then didnt even hesitate and grabbed her face to kiss her.

My mouth fell open and I stared at them kissing for a while before something in my brain reacted without thinking.

I turned back to Itzan and pressed my lips onto his. He kissed back immediately and i put both of my hands on his half exposed chest.

Then I turned us over so I could watch Arón in the corner of my eye. He did the same. We were kissing other people but staring into each others souls like we're crazy.

But he started it. And i wouldnt be ready to make him win. I pulled away from Itzan, bit my lower lip and said:“Lets go."

He grinned, grabbed my hand again and we left the party. I turned around, meeting Arón's look once again. He looked confused.

Well i wasnt planning on sleeping with Itzan, i just wanted Arón to believe i would.

We walked away from the beach party until I spoke:"Can we please just go somewhere else? I need to get away for a little." He looked at you in confusion but then seemed to read your face and nodded. „Claro." You two then made your way back to the house where your plan was to turn on some music and have your own party.

The second you had entered your bedroom to get changed, you heard the front door open and a girls laugh downstairs. Immediately you walked out the room again and looked down to see Arón kissing that same girl from the party. No, no, no! You swallowed and thought about it for a while but then decided to destroy this. You knew he was playing. Quickly you made your way downstairs and coughed to make them both look at you. „Hey." you spoke with a fake pissed tone. „Baby who the fuck is she?"

Arón looked at you confused. „Baby?" the girl asked and looked between the two of you.

„Your girlfriend?"

You then walked towards her and spoke:"Yes, bitch get the hell outta here."

Before saying anything else she left the house, looking very pissed.

„What the fuck y/n?" Arón walked up to you and grabbed your arm. For a bit you just looked at him and then did something you couldnt believe alcohol had made you do. You grabbed him by the neck and kissed him. Just like this. He kissed back but seemed to hesitate a bit.

The kiss didnt last too long because he pulled away eventually.

„You bitch." he spoke and it shocked you. His face was straight and he stepped back. But he then started to grin and you calmed down again. He didnt actually mean it.

„You did this shit with Itzan to make me jealous hm?" He came closer to you, making you step backwards. „Hm?" he asked again

You swallowed. He was so fucking hot.

„Maybe."

He grinned and pushed you further backwards until your back hit the kitchen counter.

„Speechless much hm y/n?"

His cockiness turned you on.

You just shook your head. „No."

Before you knew, his whiskey lips were back on yours, making you close your eyes.

He basically owned you that moment. And it was all you wanted.

After pulling away he grabbed your hand and wanted to pull you out the house. „What are you-?"

He laughed and leaned down to whisper in your ear:"We're going back to the beach but this time you'll be grindin that ass on me alright?"

Since im a fan-thing of Sidon (shark prince from botw, i dont have a life-) what if Sidons S/O ever got poisoned by eating bad food created by a traitor that could have worked for the Yiga clan? Also thank you for making the cutest fanfic like things ive ever seen! :D

The Yiga really have it out for Sidon’s s/o, don’t they?

warnings: poison, nausea, headaches, fainting

—

“Would you like a piece?” the young man asked. He was holding out a piece of bread with a strange jam spread over it. “It’s an old family recipe from far south. It’s very uncommon in these parts. You should try some.”

They smiled and nodded. The man had been nothing but polite to them, so it seemed only right that they try his food. “Of course,” they said. “I’m sure it’s wonderful.” They took a slice of bread from him and, after taking a quick sniff, took a bite. It was sweet and savory, but a bitter aftertaste soon followed. They were too polite to say anything though, and forced themselves to eat the rest.

“So what’d you think of it?” he asked, eyes wide with curiosity.

“Very good,” they lied. “I’ve never had anything like it before.”

He only laughed. “Quite true. It’s very exotic,” he said. “I doubt you’ll ever have anything  like it again.”

As they forced out a laugh and smiled, he had no idea how much they hoped he was right. After the man made a polite farewell, they completely forgot about the awkward encounter and continued with their day.

Despite that, hours later they stood by the railing, holding on with white knuckles. They felt sick. The dull headache and somewhat unsettled stomach had begun an hour ago, but had refused to leave them since. It had steadily gotten worse, until they were standing there gripping to the railing for dear life. They tried to focus on the beautiful crystal water flowing below them or the gentle tinkle of running water, focus on anything but the way they felt.

“Ah, there you are!” Sidon’s gentle voice made them whip their head up. The simple motion of standing a little straighter made waves of pain shoot through their head. Wait. Did their vision just blur? No, they quickly told themselves, it’s just the effect of jerking their head up too suddenly.

Out of the corner of their eye, they saw Sidon come to stand by their side. If they felt better, they would’ve given him a hug, or at least a welcoming smile. However, since doing either of those actions would probably send their head spinning, they opted to stand stock still.

“You finished earlier than we expected,” they said. The words felt awkward in their mouth. Their tongue felt limp and awkward, like they had just woken up from a long nap. “Did everything go alright?”

Sidon nodded. “We were going to renew some old treaties with the Rito, but inclimate weather caused us to postpone to a later date,” he said. “But I’ve been dealing with that all day, so enough about that. What have you been busying yourself with today?”

Even the simple motion of shrugging took a great deal of effort. “Nothing much,” they mumbled, voice faltering. Why was their voice acting like this? They wanted to tell Sidon about everything they had actually done that day, but their uncooperative voice silenced them.

Sidon said something, but they couldn’t quite make out the words. It was like he had walked very far away and tried talking to them, even though he was clearly still by their side. Pain rolled through their head, pulsing in the very center. Why? Why was this happening? Their vision was unsteady too. Were they moving, or was their vision blurring?

A gentle hand on their shoulder made their vision stabilize. Oh. They had been swaying side to side. They hadn’t even noticed that.

“Are you alright, my dear?” Sidon asked.

They wanted to firmly nod their head yes, but found themselves unable to. They never wanted to worry Sidon when he had a kingdom to run, but the mounting anxiety in their chest made them forget that. “I don’t know,” they mumbled. 

Sidon crouched in front of them, concern glinting in his golden eyes. “You don’t know?” he asked softly. He tucked back a stray strand of their hair. “What do you mean by that? You’re as pale as a ghost, so you mustn’t be feeling well.”

They shook their head miserably. Even their brain was starting to feel just as sluggish as the rest of their body. “I don’t know why I feel like this,” they murmured. “But it’s probably nothing.” Despite keeping their voice steady, they could still feel the doubt in their own words.

“I don’t think it’s nothing,” Sidon said, tightening his grip on their shoulders. “You seem quite unsteady — you’re shaking like you’re about ready to collapse. Did you get enough sleep?”

They could barely nod before Sidon continued. “Have you had enough to drink today?” He cupped the side of their face and tried to meet their dazed gaze. They were only half aware that they were looking into Sidon’s eyes. They were just so tired and aching… they didn’t want to think anymore.

Without thinking, they collapsed into Sidon’s chest. Besides letting out a soft grunt, he easily caught them and held them close. They were vaguely aware of him saying their name and trying to meet their eyes again. They were barely paying attention. Their senses were fried, causing Sidon’s voice to become a distant echo and his face to become an indistinct blur. All they could focus on was the overwhelming grogginess weighing down their whole body, sending waves of pain through their head and stomach. They just wanted to sleep. Sleep would make this all better, wouldn’t it?

Everything went black.

They weren’t sure how long they had been unconscious, but when they first opened their eyes, they felt like they had fallen off a cliff. There was a faded ache in their head and stomach, and a bitter taste in their mouth. 

They were so caught up in their feelings they didn’t even notice the Zoras across the room at first. There were three of them — Sidon, a healer, and a guard — in a tight circle talking in low voices. They weren’t sure if it was just their hushed voices or their groggy hearing, but they couldn’t make out what they were talking about.

“Sidon?” they mumbled. 

The three Zoras all jumped slightly. In a heartbeat, all three were around their soft bed, Sidon crouching by the closest.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, eyes showing the concern he couldn’t quite hide.

“Better,” they said. Compared to the awful sensations they had been feeling right before passing out, this was a tremendous improvement. “But… what happened? All I remember is feeling awful and then passing out.”

The three Zoras exchanged worried looks.

“We were hoping you could tell us that,” the healer said. She smiled gently. “Could you explain your symptoms, please?”

“If you’re feeling up to it, of course,” Sidon added hurriedly. “If not, you’re more than welcome to rest.” 

“I can,” they said. With the help of Sidon’s hands on their shoulder and back, they were able to sit up against the soft pillows. They gave a quick run through of their symptoms before they had passed out — nausea, headaches, their spotty hearing and vision, and sudden fatigue.

Sidon’s face grew more and more anxious as they explained. The guard managed to show no reaction and the healer only nodded her head as she carefully considered their words.

“Then I believe that proves my theory correct,” she said, though she didn’t look nearly as happy as she should’ve. 

“And what theory is that?” Sidon asked. He placed a protective hand on their shoulder.

The healer took in a deep breath. “Your Highness, I don’t mean to cause any alarm of sorts. It may have not even been intentional,” she began. Her eyes darted from Sidon back to them again and again. “But I believe they were poisoned.” 

Their stomach all but leaped into their throat. Poisoned? But how?

“Poisoned?” Sidon said, echoing their thoughts. His grip on their shoulder unconsciously tightened. “How could they have been poisoned? Surely, if the food in the kitchens was poisoned others would be feeling the same way.” 

The healer shook her head. “I’m afraid I don’t know,” she admitted. “But everything makes sense. Earlier, the only medicine that had any effect on them was a common berry that reverses the effects of poison. And, after hearing their symptoms, it seems to be the result of a rare berry native to the Gerudo Desert.”

They and Sidon exchanged a confused look.

“But they haven’t been remotely near the Gerudo Desert recently,” Sidon said, brow furrowing. “How in Hylia’s name—?”

“Wait,” they said. All eyes in the room instantly turned to them. They hadn’t been able to realize it until the healer had mentioned the berry but now… now they were certain of it. “I think I know what happened.”

The three Zoras urgently motioned for them to continue.

They turned towards the guard. “Do you remember the young man who came here about a week ago?” they asked.

The guard nodded. “I do, yes,” she said. “Why do you ask?”

They took in a deep breath. “This is just a hunch, but…” Sidon took their small hands into his own to offer what encouragement he could. “He gave me some bread this morning. There was a jam on it and it tasted kind of weird and…”

“Where is he?” Sidon asked, whipping his gaze to the guard. His tone was more tense than usual, causing the guard to strand rigid.

“He left just a few hours ago,” the guard said. “He seemed to be in a rush. I would’ve asked where he was going but he left just as they fainted and I was called over to help.”

The healer shook her head. “That’s no coincidence. He’s our culprit,” she said. She did nothing to disguise the venom in her voice. Though they weren’t Zora, they were a beloved member of the Domain. Even seeing their safety threatened was enough to send the blood of most Zora boiling — Sidon’s especially.

“Is there any way it was on accident?” they asked, brow furrowing. The man had seemed so kind. Could he really have poisoned them? They looked down into their lap, suddenly feeling ashamed. “I should’ve realized. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to worry anyone, you especially Sidon. I didn’t—”

“Don’t apologize, my pearl,” Sidon said, voice soft. He placed both hands on their shoulders. “This isn’t your fault, and I don’t want you to blame yourself for one second. I want you to simply stay here and rest.”

“What about you?” they asked.

“I’m going to make sure that this situation can never repeat itself,” he said. Despite the intensity of his voice, he still managed to offer them a comforting smile. Then, with one last kiss on the forehead, he and the guard were whisking out of the room.

Broken

Chapter 2 of “Foolish Girl”

Main ship: widowtracer (though Amé isn’t in this one)

Side ships: pharmercy, implied mekamechanic, mentions of Dvamon, platonic mekatracer/HanaxLena

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, some family fluff uwu

Notes: some swearing, medical talk, Angela is a helicopter mum, Lena is still a dumb lesbian, Hana and Lena are soft sisters, Angie and Fareeha are Best Mums

Cross posted to my Ao3 lesbianlenaoxton

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“LENA OXTON, WHAT THE FUCK.”

“Hana,” A soft voice murmured from across the room, “Volume down please, people are trying to heal.”

“Yeah yeah, sorry, eomma,” Hana waved a hand at Mercy, letting the door close behind her. She crossed the room to the hospital bed, glaring at the tiny woman slumped against the pillows.

“Lena, what the fuck,” Hana repeated at a much lower volume, “What were you thinking?”

“Hana, please don’t pester her,” Fareeha spoke from her seat on the couch, “Angela already reprimanded her enough.”

The blonde tucked protectively under Fareeha’s arm smacked her shoulder lightly in reproach, “She deserved it.”

“She got shot, Habibti,” her girlfriend reminded her gently, “She’s been punished enough for now.”

Lena grumbled something from under her scratchy hospital issued blanket, making everyone turn to her. Her skin was still a sickly pallor, though she did look a bit more alert despite the amount of morphine she was on. Her unruly hair was still that, fluffed up against her pillow.

“I didn’t intend on getting shot, Love,” Tracer rasped lowly, dark eyes apologetic as she looked at her best friend.

“But you did,” Hana concluded, “All because of Widowmaker.”

“No...” Lena frowned, “She saved me. Reyes would have killed me if she’d not been there.”

Hana looked back at Mercy for help but Angela just shook her head, “She has a point... We all heard her over the comm.”

“She... she’s not as bad as you want to believe,” Lena murmured in a way that sounded almost meek, “It seemed like she broke through her programming... at one point she sounded just like Amé.”

Angela hummed and shifted against Fareeha to look at Lena, “She did sound a bit more emotional than in the past. Not to mention her not killing you and also contacting us. That was very odd.”

“She’s still in there, Angie,” Lena’s voice cracked a little as she willed Angela to understand, “She’s not dead.”

Hana saw tears welling in Lena’s eyes and frowned, reaching over to take her hand. Lena gave her a weak smile and slumped back against her pillows when Angela didn’t respond. Hana sat down on the edge of the bed, brushing her friend’s hair out of her eyes before speaking.

“So, aside from the obvious, how are you feeling, Lee?”

Lena shrugged, leaning a bit into Hana’s touch, “Like I got shot.”

Hana rolled her eyes, “No duh, pabo,” stupid, Lena knew what that one meant.

“I don’t know,” Lena lifted her hand to show the IV taped in place, “Good drugs. Can’t move though, then it hurts.”

“What’s the actual diagnosis, Doc?” Hana asked Angela, who’d gotten up from her place in Fareeha’s arms and was over at the counter looking at files.

“Bullet wound to the upper thigh, just missed the femoral artery. No exit wound but unless the bullet begins to cause issues there is no logical reason to remove it.” She looked at Lena pointedly, “You’re lucky, Reaper usually isn’t that kind. In any other instance he would have aimed for your head.”

“Amé... I mean Widowmaker was too close,” Lena replied, “He knew she would have fought him.”

“Acting out to protect the enemy like that is not logical on her part,” Fareeha began, “Especially if she’s breaking through her programming; God knows what Talon might do to her.”

“Angie... is there any way to get her out?”

Mercy’s blue eyes were stern as she spoke again, “Lena, we cannot risk our lives to save her. She’s still a brainwashed assassin, and a very good one at that. We do not need another Gérard situation.”

“But-”

Angela held up a hand, “Süsse, please do not push it. Unless she comes to us willingly and asks for me to reverse their brainwashing, I will not interfere.”

Lena gave Angela a sour face at the pet name, not in the mood to be babied. She sighed and nodded in digression, knowing better than to push the older woman any further.

“Eomma?”

Angela couldn’t help but smile when Hana called her mom, “Yes, Hana?”

“When can Lena come back to the safe house?” They had a safe house in every major city, since Overwatch activity was technically illegal; it was better to stay hidden. Their Paris safe house wasn’t very big, but in an instance like this it wasn’t possible for them to leave for a still operating watchpoint just yet.

“If she doesn’t develop a fever or infection she can go home in the next couple days. No walking though. Wheelchair for the time being and then crutches when you get your strength back, Lena.”

Lena groaned, “You’ve got to be kidding,” she pouted at Mercy, “How long?”

“You will probably be walking in 4-6 weeks. We will need to do physiotherapy to avoid muscle damage and I want to keep a close eye on your progress. No missions or running for a while, I’m afraid.”

“Angie! That’s so long.”

The doctor shrugged, “Maybe you’ll think next time before you go running into danger without backup.”

“Angela,” Fareeha said gently, “Be nice.”

“She deserves to know how utterly stupid that was.”

“And I’m sure she does, darling,” Fareeha has stood and cross the room to her girlfriend, “But you’re not helping.”

Angela just glared up at the taller woman for a moment before sighing. She walked over to Lena, checking her vitals on the monitor and adjusting the morphine drip. When she was finished she glanced down at the younger girl, who was staring at her with apologetic puppy eyes.

“I’m sorry, Lena,” Angela leaned down to drop a kiss to her head, “I will try to speed up your healing as best I can. We can talk about this later, but I’m not angry. You just scared me, I don’t want to lose you.”

Lena smiled in spite of herself at the affection and her honesty, “I’m sorry too, mum. I’ll try to be careful in the future.”

“Please do, for the sake of my poor old heart.”

Hana rolled her eyes, “You’re not old, Angie.”

“Feels like it,” Angela stood up straight and flinched when her back implant pinched at her skin. She went back over to Fareeha, who immediately placed a gentle hand on her back as she sensed her discomfort.

“Why don’t you go rest, Angela? I can take you home and then come back and watch the pup, she will be fine.”

“What is it with all of you and calling me a puppy?” Lena grumbled, a pout on her face as she listened to her teammates.

“I should stay...”

“Habibti, you need sleep. Please, I’ll stay with Lena until she sleeps and then I will come back home, yes? I’ll bring Hana home with me.”

Angela sighed and rubbed her tired eyes, “Alright.”

Fareeha smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple, letting Angela collect her papers and bag before leading her out into the hallway. The younger girls watched them go, Hana sighing when the door shut completely.

“Angie’s been a mess since you got shot,” she explained seriously, “You were out for two days, I’m sure you’re aware.”

Lena nodded, frowning, “Has she slept at all?”

“Not really,” Hana replied, “Fareeha’s coaxed her to take naps on the couch but this is the first time she’ll be going home since. She’s been living at the hospital with you.”

Lena sighed, feeling bad for the stress she’d clearly caused Angela. She rubbed her hand over her face, feeling her own eyes droop with sleep as the morphine hit her again; Mercy must have increased her dosage.

“Sleepy?” Hana’s voice was slightly teasing as she patted Lena’s arm gently.

“Mhm,” Lena nodded, “Meds are strong.”

“Lucky you,” the younger girl laughed and glanced back at the door, “Want me to leave so you can sleep?”

“Nuh-uh,” the small woman stifled a yawn, “Hana?”

“What’s up, Lee?”

“Cuddle?”

Hana scrunched up her face in mock disgust, “Ew, affection? Gross.” When Lena flashed her signature puppy eyes though, Hana dropped the act, “You’re lucky you’re cute, dummy.”

Hana got off the bed and helped Lena move over carefully, trying not to jostle her leg. She pulled back the blankets and climbed up beside her friend, laying down and covering them both up. Once Hana was situated, Lena smiled at her and snuggled as close as she could; though it was difficult since she was stuck laying on her back.

“Better?”

Lena hummed in agreement, “You’re warm.” She leaned her head against Hana’s shoulder, “Who’s all at the safe house?”

“Angie, Fareeha, Jack, and Mei,” Hana replied, “Then me and Brig. And you, in a few days.”

“Ah, how is Brigitte?” Lena’s voice held a teasing edge to it. There was no secret that Hana and the Swedish mechanic-turned-healer were involved, but the extent of their relationship wasn’t as clear.

Hana turned a shade of pink that would put her original meka to shame, “S-she’s fine. We’re good... great actually.”

Lena giggled at her reaction, “You two official yet?”

Knowing she wouldn’t escape this conversation, Hana sighed, “Not yet. I mean, I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?”

The Korean girl shrugged, “We’ve been taking things slow. She knows I’m... apprehensive about relationships, and she respects that.”

“Aw, that’s sweet,” Lena poked at Hana’s reddened cheek, “Brig is a good person.”

The smile that fell on Hana’s lips was genuine and full of adoration, “She’s lovely and I really do love spending time with her... It’s just hard, Y’know? After Yuna...”

Tracer knew all about Dva’s past relationship with her meka teammate Yuna, code name Dmon. It ended when Hana decided to join Overwatch, which took her away from Korea and her friends in the army. Yuna had been supportive but very firm in her view that Hana was leaving a whole life behind and she might not be around when the other girl returned home. It was really hard on Hana and Lena knew that, especially since finding out that Yuna and Kyungsoo had ended up getting engaged recently.

“I know, love. And I’m sure Brigitte is going to be understanding and patient for you. Just don’t keep the girl waiting too long, yeah? She’s quite the catch.”

“Hands off, Oxton,” Hana joked at Lena’s implication.

Lena raised her hands in mock defence, “She’s all yours, Song.”

Hana laughed and knocked her head lightly against Lena’s, “I miss hanging out with you.”

“I miss you too, love,” the older girl replied sincerely, “Should come visit me back in London when you get the chance. Figure I’ll be on leave for a while once Angie lets me out of her sight.”

“Maybe I will,” Hana agreed happily, “London is nice.”

The room fell into a comfortable silence for a while, save for the beeping of Lena’s heart monitor and the hum the morphine pump. Hana wrapped an arm around Lena as she turned on her side, getting comfy once again. The two had grown a lot closer since Dva joined overwatch, it was a given since Lena was the closest to Hana’s age next to Brigitte. Despite the seven year age different between them, they’d quickly become close friends. Lena has began seeing Hana as a little sister and she would do anything to protect her.

“Lee?”

Lena hummed sleepily, “Yeah?”

Hana’s voice seemed apprehensive, “Can I ask you something?”

Lena raised an eyebrow and turned her head to look at the younger girl, “What’s on your mind, love?”

“Could you tell me about Amélie?” Hana winced at the way Lena’s eyes portrayed her pain, “If it’s not to hard on you.”

Lena put on a brave face, though talking about her best friend who might as well be dead was still painful, “What do you want to know, Hana?”

“What was she like? I never met her but you seemed to be rather fond of her. I’ve heard she was lovely to be around.”

“She was lovely,” Lena began in a soft tone, “So lovely. She seemed a bit snobbish in the beginning but I think that just comes with her being a countess, you know? Once we actually spent time together I realized how sweet she actually was. She was so joyful and her laugh, God, Hana, her laugh was so adorable you just couldn’t help but smile when you heard it.”

Hana smiled sadly at the way Lena’s eyes were melancholic, knowing the memories were all very bittersweet to her now. She patted Lena’s hand lightly, “I’m sure it was pretty. She was very beautiful in the photos I’ve seen.”

Widowmaker may have Amélie’s body but she did not resemble the woman much at all. Amélie hadn’t been as thin, having a nice dancer’s build with a little more meat on her bones. Widowmaker’s blue skin was pulled taunt over bone, clearly due to the fact that she no longer needed to eat. Amélie had the kindest soft grey eyes Lena had even seen as well, which made Widowmaker’s contrasting golden eyes all the more unsettling. Widowmaker’s mannerisms were a little more similar, but her demeanour contrasted so much with Amélie’s that she barely seemed like the same person anymore.

“She was gorgeous,” Lena agreed with a sure nod, “A dancer too. So strong and sure of herself, seeing her dance was absolutely breathtaking.”

“Lena?”

The older girl made a sound in reply, lost I thought now as she remembered her past with Amélie and Gérard.

Taking that as a response, Hana continued cautiously, “Did you...love her?”

“Uh,” Lena was a bit taken aback, “I... well I never admitted it; never really liked to think about it. She was my mentor’s wife, Hana, I couldn’t have feelings for her.”

“But you did,” Hana concluded, knowing the answer already.

“Yeah.”

Hana took her hand and laced their fingers together, giving Lena’s hand a reassuring squeeze, “I’m sorry, Lena.”

“It’s okay,” Lena said even though it really wasn’t and never had been okay, “I miss her but... Angela’s right. Unless Widowmaker comes to us for help, we can’t change what happened. We don’t even know if Mercy could reverse the brainwashing, Talon’s had her for so long now. The other day could have ended a lot differently, I’m just as surprised that she didn’t decide to kill me.”

“It’s okay to hurt over it still, Lena. Your feelings are valid and it’s okay to mourn the loss of your friend. Maybe you should have thought before you acted yes, but Widowmaker didn’t kill you and that’s all that matters right now.” Hana looked at her pointedly, “But please no more running head first into danger like that. I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t lose me, love,” Lena promised, “I’ll be here to be your annoying big sister forever.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Oxton.”

Lena laughed and Hana did too, though her’s was partially interrupted with a yawn.

“Sleepy?” Lena echoed her friend’s earlier question, earning a nod from the younger.

“Yeah,” Hana replied as she threw her arm back across Lena’s waist, “Nap time.”

With a chuckle, Lena wrapped her arms around her best friend, watching as she snuggled closer and closed her eyes. It was times like this where Hana’s true age showed, where she was just a nineteen year old girl and not a soldier or a superstar gamer. She was just Hana Song, a sweet girl who worked too hard and worried too often. This was the Hana that Lena felt drawn to protect, her baby sister who she knew wasn’t always as strong as she forced herself to be.

Hana had fallen asleep quickly, leaving Lena awake and left to her own devices. She was basically immobilized due to her leg and half of Hana’s weight resting on her, so she occupied herself by glancing around the room. It was a normal hospital room, small and all white with the usual equipment. There was a tiny couch and a counter with a sink across the room, and a door that led to the small bathroom across the way. The main door was creaked open, making Lena jump until she realized it was just Fareeha.

“Hey there, little pup,” the Egyptian woman spoke softly when she saw Hana was asleep, “How are you feeling?”

Lena smiled at her, “Sleepy, but not bad, love. How’s Angie?”

“Overworked, but she’ll be fine,” Fareeha replied with a sure nod, “She’s stubborn but she means well.”

Lena was about to answer when a yawn interrupted her, making Fareeha laugh in that charming booming way that made everyone smile.

“Why don’t you rest, little one?”

“Nervous,” Lena admitted quietly, “Don’t like unfamiliar rooms, especially hospitals, reminds me too much of after the accident.”

Fareeha crossed the room and dragged the single chair closer to the bed, “Oh, you poor thing. Hopefully you’ll get home soon, that will make things easier I figure.”

Lena nodded and smiled when Fareeha’s warm hand brushed over her forehead. The older woman was so gentle, contrasting her stern appearance and large, muscular body. She was undeniably handsome, in a way that everyone was so drawn to her. Not to mention her way of speaking was so eloquent and reassuring that her presence soothed Lena almost immediately.

“Would you like me to sing something,” Fareeha questioned nonchalantly, “It used to help keep you calm, no?”

After the slipstream incident, Lena had been contained in a see through glass bubble as Winston and Mercy worked to keep her anchored to this world. As she was drifting in and out of the time frame, the young woman would often have panic attacks. Fareeha was usually there to bear witness to the attacks, since she was almost always around Angela. She had been the one to keep Lena calm, surprisingly, by singing her lullabies in Arabic.

“Sure,” Lena replied with a smile at the other woman, “That’d be nice.”

So Lena snuggled back down into her blankets, Hana’s body heat keeping her warm and feeling safe. Fareeha kept a hand on her hair, running her fingers through it gently as she began to sing a lullaby that had become rather familiar to Lena. It was called Nami Nami, “Sleep sleep” or something along those lines, and it was one of Lena’s favourites. Fareeha’s singing voice was low and pleasant, immediately surrounding Lena in a sense of calm and comfort.

Soon enough Lena began to drift off, letting her eyes flutter closed as Fareeha’s voice lulled her into sleep. She was almost completely asleep when she felt the faintest brush of lips on her forehead.

“Rest well, little one. Heal nice and strong, we need you on our team again.”

Ordinary XIV

Word count: 1323

Warnings: angst

Author’s note: I know I have been gone for over six months and I am really sorry. I had really no inspiration and not that much time anymore so time passed quickly. But here I am giving it a new try. I hope my writing skills did not suffer too much! Please enjoy my loves! ♥

Recent: Bad reputation

BTS masterlist // GOT7 masterlist // EXO masterlist

I   II   III   IV  V   VI   VII   VIII   IX  X  XI  XII  XIII

Excerpt: “Welcome home, princess.” 

Fourteenth encounter

It has been a month of ups and downs for Chanyeol and you. The both of you had been taking care of Yoongi. But it was everything else than easy.

Because first things first you had to get Yoongi out of the hospital as quick as possible. It was Taehyung who took you aside after a week and said: “Although Yoongi has not been working the past months he is still the head of us. If he stays here any longer, you know... This could get everyone in real bad trouble.”

“But...how are we supposed to do that? It is barely possible for him to walk let alone get out of here. Also you know the doctors said the withdrawel symptoms are gonna get worse”, you mumbled.

“Worse than it is already?!”, he exclaimed bitterly. An expression of pain ran over your face but you hid it quickly. But Taehyung had seen it and lightly patted your shoulder. “Sorry Y/N. That was in insensitive.”

You gulped. “It is fine. He will be better in a few days.”

These few days grew into weeks. The three of you had managed to bring Yoongi over to Chanyeol’s house where you were living ever since then. Taehyung offered you generously as he always had been to stay with him. But you did not want to be parted from Yoongi again. There was this small hope your presence would change something.

Even though the past weeks he did not look at you longer than a few seconds, always having terrible mood swings which he let out on anyone who was near by and the worst thing was he was only thinking of you as just an annoying assitant of Chanyeol. Just another person who is standing in his way to run to his next drug dealer and get some pills or a bang. He could not remember you. Could not remember the time with you at all. But everything before that was present. 

About his job, his clients, his hobbies, Linda...

But it was okay for you. As long as he was alive.

This night you did not sleep well. You had a nightmare about that day you found Yoongi. The bathtube, the deep red water, his body lying there motionless. You would probably never forget about it.

As tired as you were you got out of the bed as soon as your alarm clock went off. A quick cat wash in the bathroom before you went downstairs.

“Good morning, sweetie”, a happy voice greeted you.

A little confused you looked around and spotted Yoongi sitting at the table. You were more than confused. You have not heard such nice word in a long time. Especially from him.

“G-g-g-g-good morning”, you stuttered.

“You are blushing”; he stated with a big grin.

“No I am not”,you stressed annoyed while quickly walking past him to the kitchen hiding your face from him.

“Hey, hey no reason to sulk. I am just teasing you. I know  you have something is going on with either Chanyeol or Taehyung. Or maybe both”, he said seductively.

“What makes you think that?”, you spun around giving him a piercing look.

“Whoa sorry I thought you knew”,he raised his arms in defense. “Maybe I am wrong...”, he was weighing his thoughts, ”It is just the way they are looking at you.... I was so sure that at least one of them made a move on you already.... Well I must be wrong”, he shrugged, “But just so you know there is a codex which forbids me to do anything you know”, he wiggled his brows, “with you. Besides that am still more than happy in my relationship.”

Your breath hitched and a pain spread in your chest. It was always the same pain when he was talking about her. With all this adoration he used to talk to you. Once again you turned around and went deaf to protect you from any greater pain. You collected a bowl, your favourite cereal and some milk to sit down in the living room, when something got you out of your trance.

“...said Linda is on her way back. She will be here in a few hours.”

“WHAT!?!”, you nearly screamed, “Who fucking said that?”

“Hey calm down, sweetie”, he scratched the back of his head a little intimidated by your loud voice, “It was Taehyung.”

What kind of bullshit! Taehyung that stupid dipshit!

You breathed out to calm yourself down. “I gotta make a visit.”

You left him standing there.

“What in the fucking world where you thinking?!” you screamed repeatedly. A little louder every time.

“Y/N? What is...”, you did not let him speak till the end.

“Why did you tell Yoongi Linda is coming back when this is pretty fucking impossible?!”

“Uhmm about that...He was so...”

“What should we tell him when he asks why she did not come tonight, huh? Do you want to see him fall into a hole again?!”, your voice started to crack.

“No that is not..”

“What are we supposed to do if that happens again? If he starts taking drugs again? Do you think this is easy?!” you have become quieter.

“Of course I know it was not..”

“I cannot do that again. I just cannot”, you whispered before breaking off. The lump in your throat made it impossible to speak further.

“Y/N...”, his voice was filled with pity and he stepped closer, put his hands on your arms and rubbed over them soothingly, “I am sorry. I should have not done that. But I thought maybe we should try to quit this tender treatment and kinda rub it to his face. If she will not come tonight I wanted to tell him. Maybe that could make him remember...well...you...” he paused and nervously ran his fingers through his hair, “I can see how this is tearing you apart. Everday you are there and nothing changes. I just could not look at it anymore. I am sorry if I hurt you even more. That was not my intention, my love.” He lifted your chin up to make you look at him. “Please believe me.”

You bid back a sob and closed the distance between by burying your head into his shoulder. He let his hand caress through your hair.

You stod there for you did not know how long . When you pushed yourself away from him, he seemed startled. You straightened yourself.

“Let`s try it.”

You heart was hammering against you chest when you entered the house. You sent Chanyeol who was clueless about all that to get groceries and you had asked Taehyung to stay outside. You wanted to be the one to tell it Yoongi.

You heard someone humming a melody from upstairs. The melody was well known by you. It was your favourite song. The realisation made your stomach turn. Is it possible that.. You quickly discarded the idea. Why should it happen right now? Focus Y/N! Remember what you wanted to say. You gathered everything you needed for your confrontation.

“Yoongi”, you called out, “Where are you?”

“Coming!”, a joyful voice shouted from upstairs and steps were heard immediately after. You turned around to check again if you had everything when suddenly a pair of arms snug around your waist and you were pulled against a warm chest. So surprised by that gesture your stiffened and you held your breath. This must be a dream!

The familiar smell of his perfume mixed with a hint of citrus lured you into relaxing in his arms. You could feel the corner of his lips turn upwards against your skin. He slowly began to plant kisses on your sensitive skin. Starting from the shoulder moving upwards over your neck to your ear to whisper in his deep voice:

“Welcome home, princess.”

Whop whop I finished! That`s it for today! I know it has been forever. Sorry again! I cannot promise you to update more often but I will try!

Love you all and wish you a good night or day ♥

Hey Alex. Your fics completely cheer up whenever I'm in a depressive state. I've read them all so many times. They're incredible. Unfortunately, my boyfriend broke up with me a month ago I guess hes an ex now and I'm confused and broken and Ive been listening non stop to ed sheeran's song "Happier". I was wondering if you could write post break up bellarke fic based kinda on the song, but with a happy ending from bellamys pov? I need a pick me up and a little bit of hope in my life tbh..

I’m really sorry to hear about your break up! That’s rough. Also, side note, that song made me cry. I had never heard it before. So, the happy ending is kind of ambiguous in this fic, but I fully intended for you to assume that the last conversation goes well and they end up back together. I hope you like it! It ended up being more angsty than I had originally planned. [ao3]

He wasn’t planning on stopping by Octavia’s party, using thefact that he was working late as his excuse. But when Pike announced thatBellamy could clock out early, he knew that he had to at least swing by. IfOctavia found out that his schedule opened up and he didn’t stop by, he’d neverhear the end of it.

It wasn’t like Clarke ever stayed at parties long, anyway.He probably wouldn’t even see her. She likely left an hour ago, since she was probablytoo tired from a shift at the hospital or had one early tomorrow morning. So,he took a few deep breaths before heading over to his sister’s apartment.

The party was still raging on when he walked through the door,and Miller immediately put a beer in his hand. “How have you been?” he asked,and Bellamy just shrugged. Miller looked over at Jackson, and Bellamy didn’tmiss the concerned look they exchanged. Yeah, they were worried about him, buthe was fine.

“There you are!” Octavia shouted before he heard the soundof her loud feet rushing toward him. He turned to be ready for her hug, chucklingquietly at her excitement to see him. “Isn’t this a fun party? You’re so happyyou came, right?” she asked, her words slurring together, and he had to fightnot to roll his eyes. She was drunk.

“Yes,” he replied, patting her on the head as he surveyedthe room. No sign of Clarke, thank God. He wouldn’t know what he would say toher if he saw her again. It was inevitable that he would, so he probably shouldfigure something out. But he needed more time to get over the sting of losingher.

He plastered on a smile as Octavia dragged him through theapartment by his hand and introduced him to all her work friends he hadn’t metyet. She ditched him to go whine to Lincoln about something, and Bellamysettled in next to Murphy as he downed the last of his beer. He looked over hisshoulder into the kitchen, spotting those fake margarita beer drinks that Octaviahad recently gotten upset with and let out a sigh. “The good stuff is out onthe patio,” Murphy explained, and he let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank God,” he muttered before making his way out there.

He probably should have known that there would be one or twopartygoers who would be out there. It’s the only quiet place to be at anOctavia Blake party. Bellamy had ducked out here enough times to know that.

But nothing could have prepared him for finding Clarke andRoan out there together.

He freezes for a moment at the sight of Clarke curledup against him with her legs in his lap. It took him a moment to realize thatshe was asleep, and he probably would have laughed at the fact that ClarkeGriffin fell asleep at yet another party if it weren’t for the fact that shewas literally sleeping on Roan.

He clenched his jaw as he fished out a beer from the cooler.He shouldn’t actually be surprised. He and Clarke broke up. She was going tostart seeing other people. He couldn’t have pushed her away any harder, if hewas being honest with himself. But Bellamy had somehow put the prospect ofClarke moving on out of his thoughts, meaning he was blindsided by this.

“Oh hey, man,” Roan said, tearing his eyes away from hisphone to nod at Bellamy. Bellamy nodded back, grinding his teeth together as hedid. Without a word, he walked back into the apartment and took a seat at theempty kitchen table, one of the few spots in the room that gave him a decentview of what was happening on the patio. Maybe he just wanted to torturehimself, but he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off the two of them as Roan’shand traced up and down Clarke’s back.

“Didn’t you start this whole thing?” Jasper asked as he saton the table, swinging his legs back and forth so that he occasionally hitBellamy.

“Yes,” he huffed, and Clarke started to stir outside. Sherubbed her eyes as she pushed herself up, and Roan put his phone down to saysomething that caused Clarke to erupt into laughter. His chest panged as he sawher bright smile. He couldn’t even remember the last time he saw her smile likethat.

“So, why are you acting like she broke up with you?” Jaspermuttered, and Bellamy took his eyes off Clarke for a moment to glare up at him.

“Jasper, I’m not in the mood,” he snapped. When his eyesreturned to the window, Roan and Clarke had stood up and were facing away fromhim. Both her hands were braced on the railing in front of her, but Roan wasstill rubbing her back.

The fact that it was Roan shouldn’t have surprised Bellamy.He had always had the suspicion that Roan was attracted to Clarke, and it wasn’tlike he could blame Clarke for becoming interested in him once she becamesingle. He was an attractive guy, one that her mother would definitely approveof. He’d probably fit more into Clarke’s world than Bellamy ever did.

Jasper was still mumbling something when Bellamy pushed awayfrom the table. He wasn’t going to sit there all night watching theex-girlfriend he was still in love with flirt with Roan, so he ducked into thekitchen, which was empty. He hopped up onto the counter and let out a breath.

He tried to distract his mind, but the image of themtogether kept popping up in his head again. Bellamy could see them together soclearly, now. Roan didn’t pick fights with Clarke like Bellamy did, no, he wasfar more relaxed and easygoing. He was also not the kind of guy to screw aroundwhen it came to talking about how he felt. Clarke must love that since shedoesn’t have to guess what Bellamy’s thinking anymore or deal with his freakouts when things got a little too serious. She found herself someone who wouldbe upfront with her, and it’s what she deserves.

He pressed his lips together as he heard the patio doorswing open. “Jasper, are you ready for more shots?” he heard Roan tease, andBellamy threw his head back. God, Roan was even more fun around Bellamy’sfriends. “Clarke?”

“Oh, God no,” Clarke giggled, and it was such a sweet, happysound… and why wouldn’t it be? Clarke seemed to be happy, probably happier thanshe had been with Bellamy. There was a quiet mumbling out there as Bellamyheard Jasper skip after Roan. “What?” he heard Clarke say, and he hit his headagainst the cabinet behind him.

He fucked up. God, he fucked up. He was falling too hard andfast for her and got scared. Everything with Clarke felt so natural and normal,and it scared him how easily he could get comfortable with her, especiallygiven how things went with Echo and Gina in the past.

All he could remember was how much he hurt before, and hisstupid, stupid self did what healways did: pushed her away before she could push him away. And now she was gone.He couldn’t blame anyone but himself for the way he picked that fight.

He was taking another swig of his drink when Clarke strodeinto the kitchen, freezing as soon as she saw him. Her brows furrowed as shegave him a once over, and his heart pounded as he waited for her to saysomething.

“Octavia said you had to work tonight,” she finally settledon, and he fought not to roll his eyes at the fact that the two of them couldonly seem to make small talk now.

“My shift ended early, so I stopped by,” he shrugged, andshe nodded along. Her brows were still furrowed, and he could tell that she hadsomething to say to him. But of course, his jealousy was still festering underthe surface and he said, “You seemed to have a good nap outside.”

Her eyes widened at him, and he immediately regretted it.She was free to do whatever the hell she wants, after all. He shouldn’t try tomake her feel bad for moving on. But of course, he always said the wrong thingat every given opportunity.

“It was a long day,” she settled on, and he nodded along, keepinghis eyes fixed on the almost empty beer in his hand. “Actually, I was just aboutto leave. I should go find your sister before I go,” she muttered beforeturning to leave, and Bellamy hit his head on the cabinet again, cursinghimself for pushing her away again.

He listened as Clarke gave her goodbyes to their friends. Montysaid something to make her laugh, and he found a smile tugging at his lips whenhe heard that beautiful sound. She talked with Harper, he thinks, for a minute…and the ease with which she speaks to everyone causes his chest to pang. Sheused to be able to talk to him that way.

Maybe he should find a way to be happy for her. After all,she seemed happier now with Roan. And Clarke deserved to be happy. He wantedher to be so happy.

When the front door shut, he let out a breath. He survivedseeing Clarke tonight, barely. The panging in his chest probably wouldn’t goaway any time soon, though he wasn’t sure if it ever left.

He was coming up with excuses to leave the party too whenRoan came into the kitchen. “What’s wrong with you?” Roan snorted.

“Nothing,” Bellamy lied.

“So, it has nothing to do with the fact that you saw me withyour ex?” he asked, raising his eyebrows as he filled a cup with ice.

“Clarke can date whoever she wants,” he replied.

“I’m not dating Clarke,” Roan corrected, and Bellamy hatedhow easy his own face gave his reaction away. Roan smirked at him, pleased thathe had finally broken Bellamy out of his fake indifference. “I don’t make ahabit of dating girls who are still in love with their exes.”

“Clarke isn’t—”

“She is,” he interrupted. “It’s annoying, honestly. Fulloffense intended, you were a dick to her in the end.”

“I know,” he huffed, throwing his head back. He didn’t needthis lecture from Roan when he had been giving it to himself all night. “It’show I know she isn’t still hung up on me.”

“Interesting,” Roan muttered as he walked back toward thedoor, “then, why is she still in the parking lot, crying in her car?” Bellamy’shead snapped up to look at Roan, whose eyebrows were raised at him as he lookedover his shoulder. “Don’t fuck it up this time,” he huffed before walking backout to the party. Bellamy jumped to his feet, abandoning his beer on thecountertop before striding toward the front door. He didn’t bother tellinganyone where he went. Everyone was too drunk to notice he was gone, anyway.

When he got down to the parking lot, he found Clarke’s carin the very back. He jogged toward her car, and as he got closer, he could seeher talking on the phone as she wiped a few tears from her cheek. He felt sickat the realization that he was the reason she was crying. He never wanted tohurt her. After all, he loved her… probably a little too much. He was justscared.

Clarke’s eyes widened when she spotted him, and she said goodbyeto whoever she had been talking to. He stood still as she pushed herself out ofthe car, her brows furrowing in confusion as she looked up at him again. “Whatare you—”

“I miss you,” he interrupted, and her eyes softened. “I’msorry. I know I don’t get to just… Fuck,” he mumbled. He hadn’t thought throughwhat he would say to her at all. He hadn’t been thinking when he rushed downafter her. All he heard was that she was upset because of him, and he couldn’t stayaway.

“I miss you too,” she said before he could stutter anythingelse out. Her blue eyes were staring back at him, still a bit red from crying.All he wanted to do was close the distance between them and pull her to hischest.

“Can we talk?” he asked, and she bit down on her lip. Herchest was rising and falling slowly as she took a few deep breaths.

It felt like hours had passed before she whispered, “Yeah.”

A flicker of hope scorched through him as the two of them satdown on the curb. He was going to tell her everything that he didn’t saybefore. He was going to make it right. And maybe, just maybe, she’d let him tryto make her happy again.

Tokyo, June 1992

[CW: emotional abuse, implied physical abuse)

It was Friday. 

Audrey knew this meant Nate would show up around noon, rather than later in the afternoon like he did during the rest of the week. He had a job, though he’d always been vague about it, explaining that it was something on the nearby American military base, but he wasn’t a rank-and-file soldier anymore. He had a desk job that he hated after some sort of disagreement during his last tour of duty, she had some recollection of him talking about it, but he’d never explained exactly what had happened and Audrey hadn’t pressed for an answer. Mortals were always getting into conflicts that, from her point of view, were petty and meaningless. Whatever it was probably didn’t matter at all in the larger scheme of things, so she hadn’t had any desire to dig deeper on the topic. Assuming he would have told her, anyway, which wasn’t often the case. If Nate didn’t want to talk about something, it wasn’t talked about, and he’d made that clear to her very early on. 

As she wandered across the small apartment, Audrey paused briefly to look at a calendar that hung in the kitchen area, days crossed off until the last day of June. She’d never been very good at keeping track of time—for vampires, days or weeks passed in a blink—and marking a calendar was the only way she could keep up with Nate’s schedule, which he adhered to unfailingly. It was almost noon, so Nate would show up any minute and the young vampire let out a small sigh. She’d barely slept, not uncommon since she’d arrived in Japan, and knew he’d scold her for not taking better care of herself. It was hard to get any sleep, though, when he’d show up in the afternoon, wake her up, and then keep her up until he left in the morning. As light a sleeper as she was…that left the vampire with precious few hours to get some rest during the day, and often that was interrupted by other things: the building superintendent making repairs, neighbors making noise, traffic and city life beyond her small window. Audrey didn’t know it was intentional, of course; that Nate’s charms worked better if she was weak and tired.

As expected, it was only a moment before the sound of the lock turned as Nate arrived, still wearing his fatigues, which was unusual, and pushed the door open. A brow twitched upwards when he found Audrey in the kitchen next to the door, followed by a frown. “You’re already awake,” he said flatly, stepping inside and pulling his cap off, a hand smoothing his brown hair back into place. 

“I couldn’t sleep, I knew you’d be here soon so I thought it was better to just get up and start getting ready…“

Nate didn’t answer, just frowned down at her. After a moment, he walked into the living area and let out an exaggerated sigh. “Well, what good are you going to be if you’re tired? Or did you just assume I’d feed you, today?” He dropped onto the futon, leaning back and propping his boots on the coffee table, starting to roll up his sleeve. “It’s been two weeks. Suppose it wouldn’t hurt. But you need to take better care of yourself, I can’t do everything for you, you know. How would you hunt if I wasn’t here?” “You don’t have to—“ “What’s the alternative, Audrey? Let you starve? Look at you. You’re not eating enough as it is.” It was true that Audrey wasn’t eating nearly enough—ideally, she needed at least two pints of blood a day to keep at a healthy weight, more than that to stave off anemia, which she was particularly prone to. She was getting less than half of that, and nearly all of it once a week when she tried to gorge on a kill, while the rest of the time she’d just nibble at steak and liver, although occasionally Nate showed up with a bag or two of blood for her that he’d been able to bribe off the military clinic. But she supposed that was the best she could do, since the coalition seemed to be ignoring her application and she felt reckless enough as it was killing a mortal once a week, even in a city as big, and with as many dark alleyways, as Tokyo. Not to mention Nate wasn’t a very good lookout, easily distracted by watching her feed. Letting out a small sigh, Audrey shrugged and looked down at her feet. “If the coalition would just—“ Nate snorted. “If they’d what? Approve the application you put in five months ago? Doesn’t look like they’re gonna do that, sweetheart…C’mere.” He patted the cushion next to him, holding out his opposite arm to her. 

Audrey padded across the small space, stopping to gather a few things from a drawer as she tried to ignore the little ache in her chest that cropped up every time he pointed out that nobody seemed to care about her anymore. Except him, of course. Audrey hadn’t really believed it at first, but…her grandmother hadn’t tried to call her in months, not since they’d fought while she was still in Kiev, and she hadn’t heard from her grandfather since shortly after she’d landed in Tokyo. Then there was Rowan; Audrey wasn’t going to even let herself think about Rowan or his letters. It was going to take more than letters to convince her of anything he’d said since their wedding fell apart the day it was supposed to happen. 

“It’d be easier if you just bit me,“ Nate started, eyeing Audrey as she sat beside him with the things she’d gathered: a kidney-shaped metal tray, a tourniquet, a length of IV tubing, an empty blood bag, and a large-gauge needle. She’d gotten pretty good at drawing blood since Nate had taught her how to do it and it was only a moment before the bag was filling, not any different than one might have seen happening in a Red Cross center, except that this was meant for consumption, not donation. 

“You know I can’t do that,” she murmured, glancing up from the needle she was holding in place in Nate’s arm. “You could catch the virus and—“ “And I’d turn. Would that be so bad?” “I can’t without permission.” “Permission from who? The coalition that would let you starve, Audrey? From your grandmother, who’s been ignoring your existence for months?” He rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry. I get it.” Audrey’s brows drew together with concern. “Get what?” “I get that I’m just some mortal to you. An easy meal. I’ll get old and die and you’ll just move on.” “That’s not true, Nate…I love you.” She pressed a piece of gauze to his arm as she pulled the needle free and laid everything in the kidney tray on the coffee table. 

“Yeah? How long is that gonna last?” “Forever, Nate,” she whispered earnestly, looking up from what she was doing. 

“Prove it, Audrey,” he whispered back, leaning forward so that his face was only inches from hers. Audrey looked at him for a long moment, the internal struggle plainly apparent on her face. She’d broken so many rules already, things that would make serious trouble for her if the Elders—namely, her grandmother—found out. But turning a mortal without permission would have been the most serious…and she knew she’d never get permission to turn this mortal. In fact, Audrey was certain if her grandmother found out Nate existed, she would personally show up and gut him, merely for the fact she would have seen him as a distraction from what Audrey should have been doing…which was getting back to fixing her strained relationship with Rowan and producing an heir to her maternal line.  Finally, Audrey’s gaze dropped to her lap. “I can’t….not yet, Nate, please understand, it’s not anything to do with how I feel about you…I’ll write to get permission, it just takes time.“ 

Without looking up, Audrey felt his arm tense under her hands and she wanted to shrink, the silence in the room heavy and unbearable. She knew if she dared look up, she’d be met with a furious stare...and maybe she deserved it. Why should he believe her? If she loved him...shouldn’t she turn him? Regardless of what other vampires would think? 

Before she finished that train of thought, Nate sighed and nudged her hands away from his arm, holding the gauze down himself as he stood. “It’s fine. Go ahead and eat.” There was no trace of displeasure in his voice and Audrey glanced up, unsure if she’d just imagined the searing gaze and tense muscles; Nate was simply looking down at her, his expression a little sad, maybe...but certainly not angry.

She hadn’t imagined anything; Nate was seething and he wondered if it would be easier to just kill her and infect himself with her blood than to keep playing this ridiculous game, pretending there was anything more between them than his desire to be essentially immortal and some tangential lust. But…he’d seen how strong she was, even when she hadn’t fed recently, and while he thought he could overpower her, it would be a messy affair. And Audrey had talked plenty about who her grandmother was; Nate was certain that killing and Elder’s granddaughter would make his immortal life more complicated--and potentially much less immortal--than he wanted it to be, so…he’d keep playing. 

It wasn’t going to take much longer, especially if he managed to get her pregnant, Nate thought. She was a soft-hearted, romantic little thing and he doubted she’d be able to tell the father of her child “no” about much of anything, much less condemn him to age and die like any other mortal would. And even if it turned out the vampire wasn’t good for anything else, she was at least a warm body, easy enough on the eyes, and hardly ever objected to anything he wanted, so Nate supposed the last few months hadn’t been a total wash. 

“I’m gonna lay down for a bit. Come to bed when you’re finished. I’ve had a long week…let’s stay in tonight. I think I need a little quality time with my girl, yeah?” 

Audrey watched silently from the futon as Nate walked the short distance to her bed, only his outline then visible behind the thin partition that split the living space from the bedroom, as he stripped off his uniform before laying down, and wondered if she’d also imagined the faint threat behind his words. 

i asked @softbams to ramble about bambam just bc i love seeing other ppl love bambam as much as i do and now its my turn so here we go,,, warning i get soft easily,, , dont hurt me,,,,

hnggnhkgsnj so like BAMBAM right,,, he’s,,, a DORK there is literally no other word i could use to better describe him and ill have you know i may seem to throw around the word dork online, specifically here on my blog but in actuality i use it extremely sparingly for those people that are so dfjklshjkf dUmb but i love them so much??? like ill only call my closest few friends dorks, i just use it a lot here bc i post about what i love and i love!!! bambam!!!! idk ppl express their love in different ways and “i love you” just seems so overused and meaningless and calling people a dork is just more me and honestly its the most endearing thing i could say about someone ANYWAYS so like why is he a dork??? he’s so wild in like every way my first impression of this kid was literally him spazzing on the floor and dabbing while got6 hyped him on and i was like??? THAT ONE. I WANT TO STAN THAT ONE I- I WANT THE TRASH CHILD thats literally how it went down and as you can clearly see i haven’t changed lanes since,, honestly to me the most attractive trait in any person ever is stupidity, and i dont mean shitty grades i mean like their sense of humour!! someone who isn’t afraid to make fun of themselves and be loud and wild and random and is just a little (or a lot) drunk on life every now and then, its just so,,, refreshing??? maybe its bc im like that and i find it hard to find people who can keep up with me in a sense but honestly with bambam its like im the one trying to keep up with him. it’s just so endearing to watch him screaming and roll on the floor and??? to watch him bambam around the place. he’s just so funny and it always makes me smile like an idiot??? and it seems like its not just me bc!! the rest of got7 seems the same!! his happiness and silliness is honestly so contagious like they call jackson the moodmaker and yeah he is (i LOVE HIM TO PIECeS hes a dork too) but like have you ever realised that like 90% of the time yugyeom is being a crackhead, bambam is like within a leg’s distance away?? and i say leg bc DAMN have you seen bambam’s legs, he prides himself in his legs WITH GOOD REASON TOO and he always has to show them off with those tight ass leather pants like calm down you’re killing me here. but ofc he’ll never calm down the boy has no control and i LIVE FOR IT bc its always unpredictable??? like you get bored of the same thing after a while but bambam is always so new and wild and!! keeps you on your toes!!! hes just so exciting??? and like omg i mentioned yugyeom before hE REALLY LOVES YUGYEOM (me too man, me too,,,) AND!!! ALL OF HIS MEMBERS!! like whenever the situation is tense he’d do something stupid to make them all laugh and the way he talks about his members??? its SO heartwarming to see him love them all so much?? i mean they practically raised the kid, like jackson and mark especially bc foreign line stuck together as trainees as TRAINEES do you hear this shit they have stuck together for YEARS before got7 debuted and they still love each other to death AMERITHAIKONG IS FRIENDSHIP GOALS IM SOBBING I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH like you know they’re soulmates when one gets a laptop thrown at him but he still looks up to him as a hyung alkjhlkgahsdfgs ill never live that down sorry its too funny,,, also like he may be a fucking idiot at times but i dont think enough people take him seriously?? like he has this mature side to him and its so nice to see that even though we all joke that he has no chill, he does actually have it when necessary?? like!! in that recent thai interview and he talked about his mum oh my god he loves his family sO MUCH I AM SOFT literally like he bought his mum who biases jaebum lmfAO a house bc they grew up under a tin roof WHAT AN UPGRADE and he bought his sister a car and like hes so modest about his achievements too like in that one hard carry episode where he and jackson in the back of a taxi at 4am had to take turns boasting and trying not to be modest, he had to brag about his achievements, this episode was so memorable to me bc only one of them was actually about him??? he mentioned that something along the lines of 8,000 fans went to the airport in thailand to greet him but then he mentioned about the concert tickets that sold out but it was GOT7′S concert like he had to mention his group bc they achieved that TOGETHER and like he then said he bought a house for his mum and a car for his sister like he was meant to brag about how much money he had but instead he said the good things he did so generously for his family im??? so soft??? his love for his family is SO SO SO precious (like him) and when he talked in that thai interview i was talking about earlier (i apologise that i keep changing subjects so quickly this entire thing is so messy) he talked about how his mum is the reason for his dreams to be a performer and how he wanted to provide for his family and dAMN HE DID!!! but like omfg hes so passionate about what he does??? its so so so inspiring to see, he went to korea at age FOURTEEN without knowing the language, the culture or really anything bc he went to rain’s concert and was so inspired and learned all his dances and songs and like it kinda reaches out to me bc like??? he started off as nothing but a random international fanboy and LOOK HOW FAR HES COME IT GETS ME SO EMOTIONAL!! and his mum kept on telling him that its ok if he didnt make it, that he could come home if it didnt work out, she’d welcome him with open arms but he kept going!!! bc he loves music!!! and hes so talented!!! and hes just so passionate,,, and so determined too!! such a hard worker!! like i dont think most of you realise just how intensive trainee programs are??? like he was fourteen and training 12 hours a day, he said it was from 10am to 10pm every day, and now he gets even LESS sleep like hes constantly talking about how tired it is like let the poor baby sleep oh my god he deserves rest but apparently thats too much to ask for in the kpop industry,, but no matter how tired he is he always has tons of energy on stage and off stage to make everyone laugh and keep everyone in high spirits and like he’s actually a ray of sunshine, a precious angel, a blessing to this world oml im rambling but thats fine that was the point of this lmfao i just!! MY HEART IS SWELLING FOR HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM!! and everything he does gets me so soft like i literally have an instagram saved collection of his smile that makes me smile and not like his smirk (which is,,, whew,,, REALLY attractice im weak for smirks) but like his full teeth, face wrinkled and eyes scrunched up smiles where he looks so happy and cute and i wanna pinch his cheeks hes just SO CUTE and whenever i see him smile like that i swear 7 years are added to my lifespan and it just MAKES ME SMILE SO MUCH bambam always makes me so happy like i think my parents i convinced i have a boyfriend at the amount of random smiling i do at my phone but like 90% of the time its just bambam,, hes just so aesthetically pleasing like we all know he is the fashion KING, like his style is so stunning but like i think his visuals are highly underrated tbh he had THE most iconic glo-up of all time, i remember during early realgot7 episodes he’d talk about how he wanted to no longer be the cute/aegyo type member and he wanted to be sexy and charismatic and oH bOy iS hE sExY aNd ChArIsMaTiC,,, if only the members that kept telling him he couldnt and that he was adorable would see him now, still just as cute and squishy as before but also a fucKIGNF BEAST????? like i think every time he does that prrah in never ever a part of my soul leaves my body. idk if thats even related. but like WOW HES SO PRETTY EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS JUST SO ATTRACTIVE PHYSICALLY like he has rlly pretty eyes, esp w/ contacts they really just make you notice them so much more and his lips?? everyone talks about his lips but NOT ENOUGH like theyre so plump and kissable and honestly i could kiss them all day if hed let me omg is that a bruno mars lyric ANYWAYS if you do era killed us all, dont deny it, even jinyoung noticed his lips i just LOVE BAMBAMS LIPS and like his JAWLINE is so sharp it could cut a bitch it just defines his face so well and his makeup too like bambam’s makeup is always so on point, kudos to the stylist noona like its not that he needs makeup, makeup needs HIM like it compliments him so well  and adds to his,, aura?? idk about you but he owns the stage, like he has this aura to him he has made the stage his bitch, he’s not on the stage he owns it do you HEAR ME???? HE!!! IOWNS!! THE STAGE!! his dancing is so mesmerising?? and his voice??? he has every ahgase wrapped around his long ass legs finger whether you like it or not. and what i was saying about makeup like without makeup he transforms into the cutest, squishiest bean that i just want to PROTECC like his dUaLiTy you can hear that about any kpop idol but still, bambams duality is so crazy, he’s just....so sOFT AND FLUFFY offstage (when he isnt screaming like a maniac, but even then,) his laugh. is so cute, and so contagious i feel like ive said that already but its not any less true and like barefaced bambam just being barefaced and wholesome and cute and????? im??? adjhgjkahkldghalkj,,,, he just,, just him smiling makes my day fUCK ive said that already but as you can see i am whipped asf for his smile i,, and also how hes so bad at aegyo when he needs to do it but he has natural aegyo when hes not?? ??? ? HES SO CONFUSING i love it honestly i love him i just ugghhhhhhh. and hes so talented too!! SUCH AN UNDERRATED DANCER GOSH he has been dancing since he was a really smol bean and HES SO SHARP AND FLUID AT THE SAME TIME like nobody appreciates his dancing as much as they should and that makes me really sad bc its so enthralling to watch him dance, he really puts his all into it you can see it, but nOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT ENOUGH???? WHERE are your fuckign eYES YALL ARE BLIND AND MISSING OUT and his voice oh my lord his voice makes me fEeL thInGs especially when he does that thing when he talks all low and raspy and his accent is attractive too and like i would pay good money just for bambam to just talk to me like that all day like sure he isnt the best rapper in the industry, jyp never really had impressive rappers until stray kids but like he does his job as a performer well and UGH HIS VOICE IM WEAK IN THE KNEES like i die on the inside every time he says baby or honey or smth like that and usually i hate those specific pet names, but have yall seen that video of him saying “goodbye honey! awh, im your honey?” or just him saying honey in whos that or jsut AJAKLKAJKJKGFJ HIS!! VOICE!! and when he says double b i just FEEL his confidence and that aura i was talking about before now i have the habit of yelling out or at least mouthing double b along with him its actually everything??? omg and his meme game like i know i already rambled about how dumb he was but like specifically his meme game and his TWITTER OML like the whole dabbing thing, idk who started it but he made dabbing his bitch like he gave zero shits what other people thought, dAB ON THEM HATERS AMIRITE, and even on that one vlive where he claimed that dab was history he ended up saying he IS the history of dab and then dabbed in the next japan promotions with yugyeom anyways. the dab is not dead. the dab will never die. and his twitter holy fuck did you guys see the whole steven deng fiasco where he agreed to his petition to rename bambam to dabdab bc he couldnt be stopped then he INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS AKA DABDAB ON LIVE TV WHAT AN IDIOT IM SO IN LOVE and like in the video where everyone was saying you dont pick your bias, your bias picks you (bambam didnt “pick” me, he grabbed my hair and yanked me down into hell) he fucking said “i pick you” like hES THE KING OF FANSERVICE FOR A REASON OMG hes always flirting with his fans on twitter and calling them baby or babygirl and like at fansigns and concerts whenever a fan goes on stage with him he just flirts with them so much and calls them his queen, his everything etc, just i cant even begin to list all the times where he flirts with ahgases idk if hes naturally flirty or he just likes to give the fans what they want but BOTH IS GOOD TBH bc flirty ppl are attractive and like if its just for fanservice then that just proves how much he appreciates and cares for his fans like wow he really loves ahgase?? REMEMBER THAT CONCERT WHERE HE TEARED UP AND CALLED AHGASE “THE BEST GIRLFRIENDS EVER” I GOT SO SOFT HES SO GENUINE aKDFJLSJFLgdfklgjalfk and back to how stupid he is like he is also a petty ass bitch like he casually exposes his members a lot i LIVE FOR IT like the whole mark throwing a laptop thing or like other shit i cant remember off the top of my head and hes just so sassy and petty all the time like i love it so much oh my gosh sassy bam is an underrated concept bc savage jinyoung steals all the spotlight rip :(( nothing against jinyoung i love him to bits too but!! sassy!bam is just, my will to live tbh oh also can we talk about how hes literally a model like he made the camera his bitch too not just is his face gorgeous and his makeup stunning and his hair on fleek and his style amazing but like you can feel his aura through the camera too, he just stares with this LOOK its like hes actually looking at you his visuals are SO POWERFUL again not talked about enough bambam in general isnt talked about enoguh outside of being a meme and :((( it makes me sad esp when people still baby him like no hes a grown ass man hes had his glo up like have you seen him??? sure he can be effortlessly cute but also effortlessly sexy like he really is the entire package and oh my fuckign god he LOVES CATS HE REALLY IS THE ULTIMATE PACKAGE like everyone knows about pudding and latte but even before then he loved jb’s cat nora and apparently nora liked bambam more than jb and would wake him up at 9am every day and bambam would play with her for a while then go back to sleep and nora would sneak into his bed and omfg bambam and cats, two of my favourite things wow what a concept?? i just DIED when i saw his insta story updates calling his cats his babies or his sons and its just so precious i want to cry. speaking of social media again can we just appreciate that he runs most of his social media in ENGLISH, not hhe language he usually speaks (korean) or his first language (thai), but ENGLISH, just to accommodate for the international fans, hes going outside of his comfort zone and its so considerate of him and that once again proves how hes the sweetest person ever and loves ahgase so much and i feel so honoured to be an ahgase and i love BAMBAM, kunpimook bhuwakul, dabdab, double b, lil’ shit whatever you wanna call him, so much, and this got way too fucking long and random and the subjects changed too much lmao its rlly messy but like its a ramble so there you go i like bambam im out

Allergic Interaction

Inspired by @edorazzi‘s BEAUTIFUL little OCs Amun and Carter and all of their antics, Miraculous’ titular character Chat Noir AKA Adrien and his affliction with feathers, and my recent jackpot of allergies. Enjoy!

Also found on AO3.

           Amun would say his luck with the accursed food was dismal at best.

           Hazelnuts, as he learned since his revival, were not, in fact, cursed but some sort of chemical thing, as Angelo put it, caused him to have a reaction in his immune system. Since his internal organs had recently been re-growing, that meant that former hives evolved into far worse reactions when exposed to the fatal nut.

           His luck was dismal because, even after learning of this and learning enough English reading to avoid it, they were in France, and, therefore, French was written everywhere. Amun hadn’t even thought to ask someone to read it to him - he knew the language of French but not how to read it - when he’d eaten that chocolate bar offered to him by one of the clerks at the museum.

           If not for Angelo’s quick grab for the Epinephrine pen upon seeing Amun go red and begin to wobble from dizziness, this might have been his second death.

           As it was, Amun was now sitting in a Parisian hospital an hour after arrival. They’d managed to easily stabilize him and get him mostly back to normal. “Mostly” because he had weird heart palpitations and only half the number of lungs he should have. Professor Carter and Angelo had escorted the doctor out about twenty minutes back to try to explain it away with various “disorders” that he had causing such things, but Amun would put his gold on the language barrier holding them up.

           He sighed, still bored as he played with the bed sheets and cords sticking to his chest and registering his heart rate. The room he was in was nice, somewhere situated in the ER but close to the allergy wing. It had two beds, one of which Amun was stuck in for another two hours to make sure he didn’t slip back into anaphylactic shock. Honestly, the only thing he wanted to slip into was his sarcophagus to sleep another couple thousand years.

           When the door opened, Amun looked up hoping to see a familiar Carter face, but instead a nurse and a boy with blonde hair in a wheel chair came in. The blonde, who was handsome by most standards, was likely Amun’s age (minus the whole, you know, death and revival thing), and he gave off an edge of magic (the undead teen could always sense background magic - it was an apparent thing going from school, surrounded by the stuff, and home, where it was just the leftover specks from his earlier presence).

           The most noticeable thing, though, was that his skin was covered in hives and welts.

           The boy was put into the opposing bed and hooked up to an IV as a second nurse closed the divider shade. Amun could lightly see through as they administered medication and seemed to help him change into the hospital gowns. They were all speaking French quickly - mostly the adults asking medical questions and the teen answering, before the elders left with a word that a doctor would be by soon and, if something was wrong, hit the red button.

           Then, silence.

           Amun fiddled with his sheets once more. Should he say something? Was that appropriate? Gosh darn it, he was just getting used to AMERICAN social norms let alone French ones…

           “Uh, hello?” A soft yet rough voice called from the curtain as Amun looked over. “Uh, kid on the other side? You don’t happen to have the TV remote, do you?”

           Amun blinked before processing the words. “There’s… a TV in here?” He returned in French.

           There was some shuffling before the curtain pulled back. A tired blonde - now with IV and scrubs as well as being COVERED in some sort of cream - smiled back. “Yeah, it’s right there.” He pointed to a dark corner Amun had previously not paid enough attention to. Sure enough, a small flat screen lay there.

           “Ah… Oh Ra that would have made the first hour so much more bearable.” He bemoaned.

           The kid chuckled. “I know the feeling. I’ve been in this wing enough times to know the drill. Allergies?”

           “Yes, to the accursed hazelnut.” Amun returned as he sought out the remote. He spotted it on a table on the opposite side of his bed to the other teen. “What about you?”

           “Feathers. Or, well, feathers by pigeon barrage.” The boy made a face as he was offered the electric controller. “Thanks. Got any preferences? Or do you want me to mute it?”

           “Honestly, I’ll watch anything. And, please, do leave the noise on.” Amun smiled as the boy flipped on a cartoon show. “I am Amun, by the way, Amun Carter.” He offered a hand with his name. As part of Monster High’s “interesting” offerings, they’d established a legal personhood for the undead boy when he’d enrolled, including things like birth certificate and passport. Amun’s full name was used as his first while “Carter” had been chosen for his last.

           The boy turned back before offering a hand himself. “Adrien Agreste. You’re not from around here, are you?”

           Amun chuckled as he settled back. The cartoon was one he and Angelo had watched before - a “Ben Tenyson” alien show - though this was an old episode. “Yes, I am from… ah, well, Egypt and America. How could you tell?”

           “You have a really unique accent.” Adrien returned. “Egypt and America, huh? That’s got to be one unique story.”

           “Oh, like you wouldn’t believe…” Amun trailed off.

           Now it was Adrien’s turn to chuckle. “This is Paris, dude. Unless you can top spandex heroes and pigeon villains, I assure you your story can’t be that bad.”

           The ancient teen opened his mouth, ready to retort, when the words processed. “Wait, heroes??? Villains??? Like, on the TV?”

           “Wow, where have you been?”

           “Lost to the sands of Giza for thousands of years.”

           Adrien barked a laugh at the truth, taking it as falsehood even with Amun’s complete seriousness. “Well, this isn’t thousands of years old, but magical heroes and villains did start showing up here about a year ago. It’s kind of become our new normal for Chat Noir and Ladybug to come save the day whenever a monster is afoot.”

           Amun’s curiosity was perked as he ignored the show to press Adrien for more about these magical beings. Adrien was in his element as he sang the praises of the city’s heroes - especially Ladybug - and shown all the videos and articles from the Ladyblog using his phone. Apparently, that’s how he ended up here in the first place. An “akuma,” as they called it, had attacked the city using pigeons (again), and, while the heroes had stopped it and undone the damage, Adrien had been swept into a flock of birds and feathers after the spell on them had broken. The result was a massive allergic reaction and a trip to the ER.

           Amun bit his tongue, but, man, these teen heroes would have fit right in at Monster High. After all, magic and crazy powers? Evil villains? It was like another Tuesday for the mummy boy.

           “Fascinating. You know, I think I read somewhere that there was a magical red lady of luck in ancient times as well in Egypt.” Amun mentioned as he offered the phone back. Vaguely, he began to recall one of the bedtime stories his mother passed to him before her death. “Her and her partner, the night cat. She was of the burning heat and he the restful night. They protected the Nile from all who dare poison her life-giving waters. They were legionnaires of the gods.”

           Adrien’s eyes blew wide. “Seriously? Where’d you hear that?”

           “My mother told me stories… long ago.” He smiled fondly as he remembered her. “She passed when I was ten sol- ah, about ten years old.” He explained. “My adoptive uncle looked into her stories at one point and thinks there is evidence to it, like how the Sphinx was supposed to be a memorium to them both.”

           Adrien’s eyes, if possible, popped wider before they took in all the words. “That’s amazing but… I’m sorry about your mom.”

           “Thank you.” Amun returned genuinely. While many remembered him as the illegitimate son of a pharaoh, his mother was the one who truly raised him. Not since her passing had anyone given their condolences. “But she is in the afterlife on her journey through the underworld, and her heart was always lighter than air. I know that she is fine.”

           Adrien’s smile grew larger but somehow sadder. “I like that sentiment. My mom… my mom disappeared a little over two years ago, so I always try to keep her close to my heart, wherever she is.”

           The topic shifted then from tales of magic to that of mothers. Amun spun grand stories of a mother and child chasing through grand halls and playing simple games though she always cheated in the most ridiculous ways once Amun proved he was well and good at the games. Adrien, in turn, painted the mural of a loving, doting mother who taught him about life’s beauty and a love for knowledge and the world of science, who encouraged his pursuits wherever they took him, even if it ruined his designer clothes and drove his father mad.

           When the door was opened once more, the two teens were laughing just as a third entered. His dark black and blue hair was an instant recognition to Amun, who smiled in return. “Angelo! Where have you been?”

           Angelo raised an eyebrow as he stood tall. “Uh… what are you saying?”

           Amun realized that he was still speaking French and blushed. “Sorry.” He returned in English. “Forgot which language I was in.”

           “I do that sometimes when I get caught up.” Adrien grinned as he added in English.

           Amun spun around. “You speak English?”

           Adrien shrugged as he itched one of the badges that covered the worst of the warts. It was only now that Amun noted how most of the irritation had gone down or vanished altogether. “Enough not to totally sound like a moron.” He looked to the new entry. “Hi, my name is Adrien.”

           “…Angelo.” The American boy returned unsurely.

           Amun continued ignoring his boyfriend’s friend’s hesitance. “He and I are now… what did you call it? ‘Hospital allergy anime buddies?’ Well, he’s in here for allergies, too. I did not know birds could be cursed like this!”

           Adrien chuckled at Amun’s enthusiasm over their shared ailments. “I’m just glad this stuff is working.” He waved his hand around, skin noticeably more clearer now. “My father would have a fit if my skin and health were in jeopardy.”

           Angelo stared at Adrien longer. “Uh, have I seen you somewhere before? You look… you look very familiar somehow.”

           “He kind of resembles Bastet, I think.” Amun noted as he sensed the boy’s magic once more. “Very cat-like.”

           The blonde’s face was somewhere between guarded, humorous, and completely confused. “I… don’t know how to take that.”

           “Compliment.” The American answered as he pulled up a chair. “Being compared to an Egyptian God is always a compliment in Amun’s book. By the way, Amun, the doc said you could be out in about an hour. They had some concerns about the… you know…” Angelo vaguely gestured to his abdomen. “But the great Professor Carter has saved the day once more.”

           The mummy boy scratched his bed shirt (and under wrappings, which were still used as his skin had yet to knit itself back together fully even as his internal organs began to grow back) at the gesture. “I still do not understand why it is such a big deal.”

           The blue and black haired boy rolled his eyes. “And THIS is why I think you’ve spent too much time with Cloe.”

           The door swung open as a doctor and two nurses came in followed by a woman in a fashionable suit. The Carter boys looked in confusion as Adrien had full recognition on his face. “Natalie?”

           “Hello Adrien.” She nodded, ignoring the other teenage occupants of the room. “This is Doctor Danvers. He’s going to transfer you to another, private room for a full evaluation. Your father is attempting to return to the city now from his distribution house, but traffic is appalling post attack.”

           Adrien nodded and looked to the two boys. Natalie had, of course, spoken in French, so while Amun had understood her, Angelo was at a loss. “So, I’m getting transferred around, but it was great talking to you guys!” He smiled brightly. “Hey, you guys want to exchange numbers or something? If you’re still in the city for a few days, maybe we can hang out.”

           Natalie frowned at the boy’s words. “Adrien, you are very busy…”

           Amun ignored the woman as he cheered. “YES! We would love to talk on the fee-one.”

           “Phone. Cell.” Angelo corrected, Amun still occasionally having issues with modern technical terms even with his year spent reanimated in the modern time. Angelo, in turn, pulled around a backpack that had been hidden behind Amun’s chair. The teen rummaged around past English reading books (mostly for elementary school readers as Amun was still learning English) and found a notebook and pen. He quickly scribbled down a number and an email address before tearing the page and handing it to the Parisian teen. “Amun doesn’t have an international plan so just text me. That’s Amun’s email, though, “[email protected],” if you want to contact him directly.”

           “You know, I’ve always wanted a pen pal!” Amun grinned at Adrien even as the Nurses began to move his bed out. “Don’t forget to contact us, alright?”

           Adrien gave a thumbs up. “I’ll make fur to do! Cat’s honor!”

           As the door closed behind the blonde, he heard a belly-splitting laugh and a snort, and the boy couldn’t have been more happy as he clutched the note to his chest. He’d made a new friend, and it was awesome.

           It wasn’t until Adrien was alone, though, that Plagg flew out from his shirt pocket, having hidden there since they’d been hauled off to the hospital. “Man, that kid reeked.”

           “Plagg! That’s rude!”

           “He reeked of the dead, kid.”

           “…what?”

           “Do I need to spell it out? He was a mummy. Undead being of Egypt. The magic was all over him. Now, were’s my cheese.”

           “Wait, WHAT???”

           “You know, I think Adrien would fit in well at Monster High.”

           “Why do you say that?”

           “I don’t know. He has a weird magic about him, like Catrine and Meowlody.”

           “So… Cat kid?”

           “Cat kid.”

           Angelo shrugged as he pulled out his iPod. “Honestly, a French Monster High would be more believable then all this about heroes and villains. Want a listen?”

           Amun accepted the offered earbud. “Oh, I don’t know. Did I ever tell you the story of the Red Lady Luck and her partner the Night Cat?”

[TRANSLATION] NYLON Korea Magazine December 2014 issue x GOT7: boys to men

Before long, you will be a year older. How does it feel to become a man?

JB It feels as if the place you can lean on is disappearing. When you’re young, there are many people who can help take care of you, but when you become an adult, you need to be responsible for yourself. Isn’t the shouldering of all the responsibility a part of the process of becoming an adult?

Jr. Since the things you can do tend to increase more and more, it seems like it would be a feeling of freedom. Because of your status as a student, there are things that the people around you look out for you, but when you become an adult, I’m afraid that there won’t be things like that. I hope that I won’t just get older in age and remain an overgrown adult.

What do you think an adult is?

JB Being caring and understanding. It’s something that I still don’t have yet.

Yugyeom While putting themselves in another person’s shoes and being able to think like them and listening well to what they say, that is the image of an adult.

Jackson I think an adult is taking responsibility for one’s own decisions.

Jr. Enduring for a long time. I mean, when you look at adults, there’s the ‘As if it wasn’t bad enough that you’ve gotten older in age…’ Adults can also have thoughts like a child and there are even times when they act childishly. However, I think expressing that (those feelings) is the image of a child, and enduring without expressing it is an adult. However, when all is said and done, an adult is wrinkles, isn’t it! Haha.

Youngjae Isn’t being homely and resembling my serious father an adult?

When you become an adult, what do you think will change?

Jackson I have them now too, but in the future, my facial wrinkles will become deeper. I will be a bit more humble, and I will more desperately realize my shortcomings.

Youngjae My outer appearance won’t be greatly different, but my inner self will be deeper.

Mark Perhaps because I was born in America, but I can’t feel any big differences. When you become an adult, there are no big differences. It’s just the situation becomes different. Unlike in America, having to do everything by yourself is a bit overwhelming. You even have to take care of your own food to eat and organize your clothes by yourself. The biggest difference is the appearance of a sense of responsibility in your daily life.

BamBam Since I’m still young, there are more things that I can’t do, but when I become an adult, I think it will feel like I can break down that wall. I’ll be like, ‘I’m free now!’

Do you have any fantasies about becoming an adult?

JB Somehow, when you become an adult, can’t you drive with one hand… When I watch dramas, the handsome main character wears sunglasses and drives with one hand. That looks cool.

Jackson When you become an adult, it’s more like your fantasies get shattered. When you are young, you don’t care when you make a mistake, but when you become an adult, the situation becomes different. If you make a big mistake, you could go to jail.

Is there a person you have admired for a long time?

Jackson While I admire my father, I also respect him because of his attitude of never giving up until the end. I want to become a person like my dad.

Yugyeom Chris Brown, who gave me the dream to become a singer. I fell in love when I watched the 2012 Grammy Awards.

Jr. Park Jinyoung PD-nim. It’s amazing that we have the same name, and we have this connection where I was born in 1994 and PD-nim debuted in that same year. We have many things in common.

BamBam It seems like Jr. hyung’s dream has come true. Ever since I was a child, I liked Rain sunbaenim. Following what my mom liked, I watched the dramas Rain sunbaenim appeared in and music shows, so I naturally came to like him. Because I was selected to become a singer while doing a Rain sunbaenim dance cover, he’s even more special to me.

JB I also wanted to meet Rain sunbaenim the most when I became a celebrity. Since our promotions overlapped, I met him once, and since his build was bigger than I had thought, I was surprised. It was to the degree that all the members were exclaiming, “So big!” He was wearing a suit and had extended his hand out for a handshake, and like a hip-hop-er, greeted us memorably with a “Yo!”

Youngjae For me, Yoo Jae Suk sunbaenim. He resembles my father. Especially the big and red nose. Haha. His personality is good, and his kind appearance is warm. Ever since the first season of <Infinite Challenge>, <Rash Challenge>, I’ve been a faithful viewer, never missing an episode. Recently, watching <Infinite Challenge> is still my greatest joy.

Mark Because I actually have no particular dream, I also don’t have a figure that I admire. To me, it’s more important that I live life to the fullest while enjoying the day.

Jackson Living as best as you can, as if today is your last. Now that I think about it, Mark hyung’s answer is really cool! The members have never, not even once, all gathered together and had a serious talk like this, so it’s awkward. We originally aren’t the serious type. Haha.

The look on your faces of unfamiliarity with each other, amazing.

Jackson Come to think of it, until now, we’ve never asked each other what do you like, what kinds of things do you prefer. In our dorms, we either joke around with each other, or we sleep after we finish our schedules since we are busy. The thing I say the most in the dorm is, “You’re not sleeping?” Haha.

If something you like were to come up, wouldn’t you want to boast about it? Also, I would think that amongst the members who have similar interests, you’d be able to communicate well.

BamBam In the past, we didn’t talk, but recently, we often talk about movies we see.

Jr. I was impressed by <Gone Girl>. It’s the best amongst the movies I’ve seen recently! You can’t help but to be absorbed by the story that repeatedly twists the twists, and since the actors act well, it was quite interesting to watch.

Yugyeom In the dorm, I watched <My Love, My Bride> with BamBam and Jackson hyung. It’s a fantasy about marriage, so while we watched the movie, we thought, if we all got married, ‘Will we change like the movie’s main character? In what order would the things change?’ Since it was a happy ending, I was pleased.

BamBam We watched it while continuously screaming. Because we really liked it and because we were excited.

JB I like movies that bring to mind memories. I enjoy watching animation. Recently, I watched the 12th Crayon Shin-chan movie <Crayon Shin-chan: The Storm Called! The Kasukabe Boys of the Evening Sun>, and I was somehow delighted by it. I’ve probably seen it more than 5 times?

Youngjae I also like animation like JB hyung. I’m a huge fan, to the point that I’ve seen every episode of <One Piece>. I enjoy watching the main character Luffy grow through his interactions with various people as he dreams of becoming the King of the Pirates. While I brood over the subject of developing into a new person, my feeling of also wanting to become like that seems to get bigger.

Mark I’m the type that doesn’t really like movies. If there is free time, the only thing I want to do is rest. Haha.

What is the worst thing that has happened to you that you remember?

JB It’s not the worst incident but…. I went on a program once as a guest. In order to stand out as a main character, I should have worked hard, but I was lacking in sense. I also couldn’t do ments well…. In any case, I couldn’t do my part properly. The director even made a loud noise while saying, “You aren’t concentrating?” I’m still dizzy now, thinking of that time.

Jr. We had plans to film our mini-album music video in Thailand, but at that time, a coup d’etat happened, and there was a ban placed on entering the country. We changed the destination in a hurry and went to Malaysia to film, but the problem was that we hadn’t prepared our clothes. Up until the day before we departed from Korea, we couldn’t even do our fitting for our clothes, our hearts felt urgent, and so when we arrived in Malaysia, it became a sleepless night. When I say it now, it’s nothing, but at that time, I was worried, ‘Won’t everything get scrapped?’

Youngjae On the broadcasted <After School Club> this past year, I was supposed to read ‘Live’ as ‘liv,’ but since I said ‘la-ive,’ I became a laughing stock. After that, I have devoted myself to studying English. I also didn’t know, but I guess I have an overly stubborn personality. Haha.

Jackson Rather than the worst, I will talk about a difficult situation. Not too long ago, I was fixed to appear on MBC <Quiz to Change the World> for about three months. I’d get tired from the long recordings for 8-10 hours a day, but I still really worked hard on my reactions. Laughing, clapping, like a hot-blooded audience member. However, I did not stand out as much as I expected. I will make bigger reactions in the future!

Is there something that people have come to overestimate or underestimate you on?

Yugyeom During <Real GOT7>, I was the subject of a hidden camera. With the theme of ‘Make Yugyeom cry!’, the hyungs seriously went through with the situation. At that time, I only cried once, but people thought I was a crybaby. Every person I met would say, ‘Is it true you cry often/easily?’

Jackson People remember me for my mischievious image, but actually, I am an extremely serious person. I wanted to tell you that.

JB I’ve never thought about how people think of me, so I don’t know how I should respond.

Jr. JB hyung is exactly the same as what you see. Bad boy! Chic man!

JB But I’m not the chic style… Since I look like a cold person, I guess that modifier just stuck to me.

Yugyeom Actually, JB hyung is clumsy. He has an extremely cute side.

Like how, for example?

Yugyeom JB hyung will say, “Really, let’s do the choreography properly. You absolutely must not make a mistake,” but he will be the only one to do it wrong. He’s a hyung, but he looks cute.

Jr. JB is even funnier during promotions. He says, “Even if we have a lot of schedules, however tired you may be, let’s not sleep,” and actually, he is the one to sleep on the floor.

JB I definitely did not sleep!

Jackson There really is one more cute incident. A few days ago, I ordered McDonald’s chicken wings, but without me knowing, JB took them all and ate them. There is no proof, but I am certain of it.

JB I really didn’t eat them!

Jackson Keeping this image until the end of trying to get out of things is extremely cute. Hahaha.

When do you feel, I have become an entirely different person?

BamBam When I get make-up done. When I do the cleansing, I’m surprised, thinking, ‘I look like this?’

JB When I get on stage, I get the feeling that the tendencies I originally had have changed.

Yugyeom When I dance. In the past, I was uncomfortable, and I had a very shy personality, but while doing promotions, I changed.

Youngjae When I draw. I’m not the skilled type, but some day, I want to personally design our album jacket.

Jackson I am always me. If I have to say when I become a different person, it’s when I’m in front of Park Jinyoung PD-nim. In the past, he was really scary. Because of the aura PD-nim has, I would somehow get intimidated, and I couldn’t speak properly. Probably because when you’re a trainee, you don’t know when you could get kicked out, so I was afraid of that. However, now we’ve become close to the degree that I call him hyung.

You must have been upset.

Jackson It’s okay. That’s society, after all.

Jr. Because a Hong Kong person said it like that, it’s amazing.

Jackson It’s because in Hong Kong, we have the same saying!

If you were to tell us one side of yourself that people don’t know well?

Jr. The images I have in front of friends and in front of adults are different. Even if I’m joking around endlessly with friends, if adults come, I become serious. It’s because we need to have respect towards our elders. That was a bit uninteresting. Haha.

Mark Mm, if I compare myself to my past personality, it seems a lot has changed. If what we thought was different, I would often fight with my friends, but now, even if we have the same conversation, I suppose there isn’t a big impression. Sometimes, if something happens, my friends say, “Why didn’t you get angry? You changed!” Oddly enough, I don’t really know where I’ve changed.

Rather than you being the one who changed, isn’t it the people’s attitudes towards Mark that changed?

Jackson That’s right. There is that part too. I feel that all the members before and after debut are not hugely different. If there is something that changed after becoming a singer, it’s getting on the stage, of course.

Amongst the promises the members have made with each other, what is the most important one?

Yugyeom Rather than a promise, we said that we’d go to the end with the name ‘GOT7.’ Whether we do solo promotions or units, we shall not forget one another.

BamBam Mm, we’ve made a lot of minor promises. If you eat in the living room, the person who ate has to clean up! However, there is no one who cleans.

JB We made a promise not to put toilet paper in the toilet….

Jackson Did we really make that promise? This is something I’m hearing for the first time.

JB It’s okay for your own room to be messy, but the bathroom we use together, the living room, and the kitchen need to be kept clean.

Jr. JB has a bit of mysophobia (fear of germs). Haha.

It seems like it’s been five years since your debut, and finally, you’ve released a full album.

Yugyeom I hope it goes well. The artists at our company also all liked our album.

Jackson Although I don’t feel like the album is overdue, rather than being pressed for time, I thought, let’s make this good. You can expect it to be good.

What is the song you are most attached to from this album?

JB The title song, ‘Stop Stop It.’

BamBam I also like the title song the most. My hairstyle came out well in this song too. Hahaha. The members teased me for looking like a character from a loans advertisement, but now, I like it.

Mark I’m the type that likes R&B and hip-hop and enjoys songs that are sung low. Therefore, I have a lot of attachment to ‘Moonlight.’

Jr. ‘Take My Hand.’ In my life, I had never heard a compliment saying I sang well, but with this song, I received my first compliment. I pretended to stay calm on the outside, but inside, I really liked it.

Jackson Mm, I like the songs called ‘Just Tonight’ and ‘Moonlight’ the most. Since they are the songs I personally did the rap-making for, my affection for them is great.

How do you hope people will listen to this album?

Jackson How should they listen? Do I need to say to listen with your ear?

Yugyeom Haha. Since you can’t hear it with your mouth.

BamBam I think they are good songs to sing when a man is confessing to a woman. The lyrics can be somewhat cringeworthy, but they are romantic.

JB Men should listen to our songs with a feeling of, ‘I’m being hooked like a fish by one woman.’ After all, there are a lot of parts that they can identify with.

Mark That’s right. That is this album’s concept, after all.

Jr. If you are a person who likes songs that feel old, you must listen to our album. A majority of our songs have an old-school feel to them, so you will be able to happily listen to them.

Scan credit: Winter Boy

Translated by: @michelleeshk

Time sensitive* Part1/4 ive been going through a hard time recently. a few weeks ago my bf broke up with me out of no where, and my friends who were sort of friends with him while we were together have been chilling with him and posting pictures with him even though he was very rude to me, and it honestly seems like they are happy about it.

Part 2/4 Ive been feeling this way before all of that happened anyways though. i am just overall pretty unhappy. I have fully lost my appetite and only eat whats equivelent to one meal a day. i have dropped about 5lbs in just the past 3-4 weeks. Also, im consitantly tired and get more than 11-12 hours of sleep a day usually and never have a motivation to leave my bed.

Part 3/4 I was diognosed with a anixiety disorder about 3 years ago and since then have not had panic attacks since until now. i get them usually every 2-3 days which consists of me crying and my hands going fully numb and me feeling like i am crazy. i know im not suicidal, but i have also think about death and dying a lot lately too.

Part4/4 i dont want to worry my parents and dont know how to ask to go back to therapy, though i have asked to go to doctor becuase of my appetite loss and tiredness. i also dont want them to think i am like this becuase of a breakup, but i know this started a while before then. i basically just need help on what to do and understand whats wrong with me especially with finals coming up.-SS

4 Part submission_______________________________________________________

Hello love!

It seems you’ve beenthrough hell and back, and good on you for coping.

Let’s start with yourfriends and your ex-boyfriend. First of all, I would definitely try to talk tothem about it. They may not be fully aware of the emotional toll on youespecially with everything that is piling up on you. Try to set up a time whereyou and your friends can hang out and you can either wait until both partiesseemed relaxed and bring up the topic, or you can just start right off thatbat, so that they are aware of the situation. Tell them about how he was rudeand how you were hurt because they didn’t seem to support you by postingpictures with him. They may have unintentionally hurt you, but if you know theyare posting the photos with intention, it may be time to leave that friendshipand find a new group.

It’s ok to say “I don’tknow”. So many people in this world think they are expected to say yes or no insituations they have no idea to handle, and it’s the same for you. Give sometime for you and your body to recuperate from the impact of life. Find sometimefor yourself and learn to love your quirks and flaws again. Even if the worldis against you, there will always be people there to love you and admire you.So in order for you to find your confidence again, rediscover what it’s like tobe happy again. Take long walks if you need to clear your head, eat somethingyou really love, buy that really sick game or pair of shoes you’ve wanted for along time. Treat yourself. You deserve it.

As for eating, no onecan force you to eat if you really can’t. It was like that for me. So slowlylearn to enjoy food again. Try to take a small bites of something and inexchange, tell yourself that your body needs the nourishment and if you eatmore it’ll help you cope. Try to start with foods that are easy to chew and godown well, such as porridge or yogurt. If you really can’t, take more vitaminsand drink lots of water. As for sleep, if you oversleep, it actually makes youlethargic. Try to limit your sleeping to 7-8 hours to be at your optimal state.Find good ways to start the morning, such as a nice shower, making yourselflook different for each day for fun, and eating heathy to jumpstart a good day.

It’s not a good thing tohave thoughts of death of dying so try to keep yourself positive and busy.Instead of thinking at a negative side of the situation try to think on thepositive side. I’ll give you an example. If say, you find yourself thinkingabout how hurt you are about your friends, on the positive side of that, isthinking that you’ve now learned that it’s not a good feeling and you won’t dothat to someone else in the future or your future friends. By having negativesituations, you can learn through them and make you grow as a person. Try toconstantly move around and get fresh air if you feel an attack coming on. Try tocount backwards from 100 in groups of 13 (I know weird number but it’ll helpyou focus on numbers more than the situation at hand). Definitely try to talkabout this to a trusted friend, parent or professional because keeping this inwill only get harder.

Finally, please talk toa trusted professional. It could be a school counselor, or psychologist, andthere are free clinics that provide confidentiality forms to check if you haveany symptoms of depression or if your anxiety is recurring and in need ofprescription. Our home page also has a link that provides various hotlines,helplines and chat sites if you need anyone to talk to at any given moment.Please also remember that your parents wouldn’t want your to be unhappy inanything. If you tell them, yes it will worry them, but why is that bad? You’llhave 2 amazing people beside you and will support you throughout your crisis!Anything you need they’ll give and provide because you are their beloved son/daughterand being together is what’s most important. No one wants to see you upsetdarling, because you shouldn’t have to feel as if you’ve been backed to a corner. You always have the power of choice.

Sending you lots of loveand kisses,

~Ella  ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ