#especially if you haven't used codes before?
Note
hello!! i hope you're having an amazing day 🥹💗 do you have any vale's races masterpost?? thank you so much in advance!!
*takes deep breath* *cracks knuckles* *cracks knuckles again for good measure* *rolls up sleeves* *cracks knuckles one more time* yes of course anon. no problem. let's do this
going to forgo any extended intro as this post will be long enough as it is - though it wasn't always easy to both represent the scope of valentino's career and make picks based on actual race quality. there will be a skew towards the early years of his time in the premier class and there are a few obvious fallow spells, but I hope I've adequately done justice to most of his very, very long career... and used the asterisk system to do my quality control for me
speaking of - another rec post, another escalation of the asterisk system (luckily, we have reached the final boss of motogp and it is impossible to escalate beyond this - here are the casey and marc/dovi lists). * means check it out, ** personal fave, *** classic, **** if you watch nothing else please watch these
I also need to mention mat oxley's 'valentino rossi: all his races', which is an excellent reference book that I consulted a fair bit when compiling this list. it's especially invaluable in making sense of the early years - where the archives unfortunately are sorely lacking and I'm grateful for every bit of additional context I can get. about those early years, a little bit of housekeeping with the codes I'll use to indicate in which form these races are available:
ITA: only italian commentary, which means I've found them on youtube. this is relevant only for the very early races. there's upsettingly few of his 125cc and especially 250cc races available even when you include these (though I haven't included all the ones that are available)
HL: only highlights, which is specifically about some of the 2000-01 races. there's only three full races of valentino's first premier class title available in their entirety on the motogp website, which is unfortunate (technically four including valencia, but who would want to watch that). now, the highlights they provide for all the other races aren't actually bad - they're around twenty minutes long for the race themselves so you will see most of the exciting action and the overtakes and all that (though it does raise the question of 'why don't you just upload the full races')
NC: no commentary, and is mainly an issue for the 2002 races that are all uploaded in their entirety but... well, only a few with commentary. obviously not ideal especially with older races. my recommendation would be watching the very short highlights (aka 2-3 minutes of actual race footage with commentary) available on the website for each of the 2002 races - either after or even before watching the race - to just give yourself a better sense of what you're watching
as ever, the descriptions will frequently provide spoilers for the result. my spoiler-free top ten recommendations are: donington park 2000 suzuka 2001 phillip island 2001 brno 2003 phillip island 2003 welkom 2004 donington park 2005 laguna seca 2008 catalunya 2009 assen 2015
and here, ten more spoiler-free recs because it really is a bloody long career: sachsenring 2003 mugello 2004 phillip island 2004 jerez 2005 sachsenring 2006 sepang 2006 catalunya 2007 motegi 2010 argentina 2015 assen 2017
**brno 1996: I find it very charming when riders have early career races that tell you everything you need to know about them. this is valentino's first grand prix win, achieved from his first pole position. he has an awful start, ends up way down the order, fights his way through, is eventually caught by this 34 year old former world champion who he does not like, fights him for a bit, stalks him and lets him draw them away from the pack in what the commentators consider remarkable confidence and poise from a seventeen year old, loses touch enough with the race leader that it looks like he's surely lost the race before pulling out a crazy last lap with some hard racing™ to overtake that other bloke. after he crosses the finish line he's so excited he almost rides into the wall. deeply excessive celebratory fist pumping that just goes on and on and on. angelic smile on the podium as the bloke he's beaten looks rather peeved - and apparently complained about valentino's riding afterwards. what more is there to say, really
^driving his elders to drink. here's a video where valentino is talking about the race: "and from there a fight to the death came out because we didn't get along very well. we weren't very nice to each other because we were bothering each other throughout the championship". like I said, tells you everything you need to know about him. just watch this one and call it a day
nurbuergring 1997 (ITA): an early strong wet weather performance, at a time when he was still a bit of a wimp about the whole riding in the rain thing. granted, he was a little lucky when the runaway race leader had a mechanical dnf, but he got into a nice little scrap with a few other riders to claim his fourth consecutive victory
rio 1997 (ITA): the thing about 125cc/moto3 races is you kinda know what you're getting, and more often than not what you're getting is a fun time watching them go at it. valentino's first, he's third, he's first again, they're having it out... and then on the final lap, he's taking advantage of the backmarkers to secure the victory. which is so sneaky and so valentino that it obviously deserves to be mentioned here. incidentally, his last ever win at assen 2017 had a controversial involvement of a backmarker on the last lap, which is a nice little full circle moment twenty years later
brno 1997: in many ways, this was a more impressive ride from his title rival ueda, who came back from thirteenth on the grid to take the win. which meant that valentino had to finish on the podium to claim his 125cc title at the same venue where he won his first race... and he just about managed it, with the entire leading group of riders headed into the final corner together
there are race highlights in the 5-10 minute range from his 250cc race years which... well. since they're not anywhere close to full races and this is a race recs list, I can't exactly give them their own bullet points, but I'll just rattle through a few highlight videos here I enjoyed from 1998: jerez (features a nifty overtake with four blokes entering one corner together, also harada fucked with valentino despite being a lap down to help capirossi win?? anyway vale's first 250cc podium, to which harada showed up to clap for capirossi specifically???); mugello (featuring his controversial beachwear celebration); paul ricard (see below); catalunya (he spent a lot of that year crashing but towards the end of the season finally figured it out - works his way back from thirteenth place to win), argentina (controversial title decider claxon; valentino found the whole thing so "hilarious" he was giggling when the drama was going off in the garage. he also referenced the jerez incident in his post-race interview, because of course he did)
^the three protagonists of the 1998 250cc season: valentino, harada and capirossi, all part of the same nightmarish aprilia 'super team'. everything I've read about that season makes me want to break into dorna hq and get my hands on the full race footage. both images are from the paul ricard race, in which valentino was trying to figure out how to stop harada from continuously outsmarting him. they kept slowing down the pace further and further, with harada running his bike comically wide to let valentino through and valentino doing a massive wheelie down the straight (image on the right) to force harada to go back past - but harada still eventually managed to best him on the final lap. valentino was heavily criticised in the press for wanting to 'humiliate' capirossi by letting capirossi catch up to the pair, but really he was just getting creative in his tactics. I may not have been able to 'watch' this season but I love it dearly
donington park 1999 (ITA): the ONE 250cc race I've been able to watch in its entirety. it was stopped and restarted due to the weather and the final outcome was decided on aggregate time across the two races (yeah, this does feel weird but they used to do that). a close fight especially in the first part. not too wet, presumably, given his 250cc performances in the soaking wet were often. hm. not great
1999 highlights I enjoyed: catalunya (was riding with a suspension glitch but kept his main title rival ukawa behind him anyway); sachsenring (won an intense battle with capirossi, admittedly you do not see much of him in the highlights); brno (another intense fight, this time mainly with an older rider in waldmann after they both worked their way through the field); phillip island (worked his way to the win from seventh on the grid and one of those phillip island races)
jerez 2000 (HL): valentino's initiation to the premier class wasn't... the most dignified thing you'll ever see... two dnf's in the first two races by which point he was so bloody terrified of the bike he was just very slow in the third. in his defence, those 500cc bikes were pretty scary, but also it was time to get his act together. which he did in jerez! this was another one of those weird ones where the rain interrupted the race and then the whole thing was decided on aggregate time, but a good ride to bag his first premier class podium
**donington park 2000: maybe it was the bikes, maybe it was experience, maybe it was a mindset thing, but eventually he would get over his moral objections to 'getting wet' and develop into an excellent wet weather racer in the premier class. this was his first premier class win - and a pretty neat way to seal it too. had an awful start, took a while to figure out the grip conditions, and then he was off. the second half of the race involved a fun fight between valentino and both roberts jr and mcwilliams for the victory
^almost gave the commentators a heart attack by running a defensive line through the final corner that took him completely off the dry racing line
rio 2000 (NC/HL - as in, both are available): valentino's second win of the year and his first in the dry, the race after his late charge to a rookie title was scuppered by a crash in valencia. he made some adjustments to his riding style after the valencia fiasco and really started to get to grips with the 500cc, which would stand him in good stead the following year. as is traditional, he makes a truly horrendous start, dropping back from the front row to find himself briefly outside of the top ten. from there, he gets to work. it's confident stuff, getting himself to the lead by about half distance and pulling away from there
**suzuka 2001: the first race of 2001 and a clear statement of intent. as ever, valentino had to work his way through the field... which took him right into the path of max biaggi, a man who had already been his enemy before they started actually racing each other. now, it has to be said, biaggi is a dick here! quite literally elbows valentino while running him off-track and could easily have caused vale to crash (as valentino said afterwards, "I had to learn how to ride motocross-style at 140 mph"), he continues using various body parts rather creatively in defending his position. when valentino finally gets past, he sticks out his middle finger. set the tone for that season rather nicely
jerez 2001: this is the cool-headed, calculating valentino who would prove such a formidable foe over the years. having already won the first two races of the season, he's high on confidence as he engages in a duel with the man who had so captured his imagination as a teenager: norifumi abe. valentino takes his time - but when he finally makes the decisive pass, he pulls clear so easily it feels like valentino may have just been toying with his hero all along
^valentino and norick, the inspiration for 'rossifumi'. in 2008, valentino paid tribute to the other man a year after his passing: "norick for me was a hero. I grew up watching the suzuka 500 race in 1994 with the great battle he had together with schwantz and doohan. last year was a shit year for me when I heard of the death of norick and colin mcrae, for me it was not a great year. I think it is possible to dedicate this championship to norick”
catalunya 2001 (HL): I don't care if there's only highlights - I am not leaving out a race that sparked a fist fight. honestly if I were biaggi I'd be pissed about this race too. valentino was twelfth at the end of the first lap and ended up winning... painful, truly. a really good scrap, plenty of fun to watch as valentino always is at catalunya, and obviously you've also got to watch the presser clips with the knowledge they were throwing hands a few minutes earlier
assen 2001 (HL): this one was low-key kinda stolen from valentino. it's good fun - y'know, one of those assen battles, valentino's doing the stalking and lurking thing and it starts raining and valentino takes the lead and... whoops! time to call off the race due to the rain so let's take the results from the previous lap! biaggi win! imagine getting into a fist fight with someone and losing the very next race to them on a technicality. oof
^post-fist fight handshake to show how it's all fine. they're totally fine. completely fine. no problems here
*donington park 2001 (HL): I'm gonna be so real, if I'm on pole and my title rival starts eleventh and he ends up beating me to the win by 1.8s, I think I just call it a day after that one. valentino had a bad crash during practise where he was lucky to not really hurt himself and then obviously had a pretty terrible qualifying, so a great opportunity for biaggi to claw back some points. worst bit is, vale didn't even make a good start - he was still in eleventh place halfway through the first lap. good fun to watch him pick his way through the field, and in his autobiography he ranks this race near the very top in terms of ones that gave him the most "satisfaction"
****phillip island 2001: look, if you've seen one of those classic multi-rider dogfights at phillip island, then, here, I've got a version of that for you from 2001. it's just so much fun to watch, with so many different riders and rider constellations and run orders at various parts of the race, riders looking like they'll break away and getting caught again etc etc etc. and it is also a match point race for valentino - a relatively comfortable one given his formidable championship lead. he didn't need to win the race to take the title, but would you want to see your greatest enemy take the spoils on your big day? in the most dramatic fashion possible, valentino ends up right behind biaggi on the very last lap and makes a daring overtake for the victory. hard to beat that as a way of sealing your first premier class title
*suzuka 2002: you know how I said in the marc rec post that I found it tricky to pick out a few for 2014 because a lot of the races were good without being all timers? this is valentino's equivalent season - he's winning, life is great-ish, tricky to differentiate, and if you enjoy any of these races you'll probably enjoy them all. mostly I'm just going to include the ones with commentary available, even though I'm too stubborn to let dorna completely make my choices for me here. anyway, this one is available with commentary and it's a good watch... valentino hadn't had the easiest weekend to start off his title defence, crashed badly twice, bloodied his hands, all that. he had a sluggish start in the wet conditions and worked his way up the field, before sitting on the rear tyre of the japanese wildcard akira ryo for a while - who knew the track well and knew where all the puddles were. a smart and composed win and feels very typical of his wet weather performances over the years
jerez 2002 (NC): in my head, this is the sister race to le mans 2014. valentino is pushed down quite a few spots to ninth early on (kenny roberts jr just. shoves him aside and does the thing where he gestures back to apologise, but that doesn't really help valentino when half a dozen bikes have passed him) and then he gets down to business. that whole season really does have that 2014 vibe of 'right this is fun but also feels a little too easy' - but hey, the way valentino picks his way through the field is satisfying to watch. and valentino did always like to play with his food, so he sits behind barros for a fair bit before doing the inevitable
*assen 2002: so, the thing about 2002 is that it was the first year of the rebrand to motogp and the introduction of the four-stroke bikes... but you still had two-stroke bikes on the grid, which tended to be tragically outgunned. the circuits where they were competitive tended to be the ones where they could take advantage of how 'nimble' the old bikes were, with more corners and fewer straights - and honestly, if you go on a race-by-race level you could make the case that on-track barros on his two-stroke machine (for most of the year) was valentino's most important rival that season. this is a head-to-head duel with barros that nicely showcases the respective strengths and weaknesses of two such different bikes and riders riding them, and barros manages to mount a stern challenge to valentino for most of the race
*sachsenring 2002: I do find it a little funny that this is one of the ones with commentary they've provided, because there's a bit of an anti-climax close to the end and I'm not sure valentino should have won that race. anyway, similarly to assen, this is another week where the two-strokes can put up a proper fight, and it's an engaging scrap that involves a lot of riders and quite a few nice little shifts in momentum. like above, another interesting study in how the different bikes compare in direct combat
phillip island 2002 (NC): always fun when someone builds up a bit of a gap on valentino. as was so often the case that year, it was barros (now on a four-stroke) who served as valentino's closest challenger, and valentino took his time hunting him down. from there, it's familiar material from the rossi playbook, stalking and studying before making his move - but barros sticks very very close to valentino until he makes an error on the last lap
^is it a bird is it a plane etc etc... don't think this was supposed to mean anything, just being silly
okay we're now headed into the 2003-05 stretch and I should mention that most of the races in that era will also have been featured in this post, which might also be useful to put them into context
*le mans 2003: valentino tries to make a break for it, but the rain denies him. he raises his hand to get the race called off (you could do this as the race leader back in the day, or I suppose also not do that if you wanted to be an asshole)... and immediately almost falls off his bike so. uh. probably a good idea to get it called off. when the race resumes, it's a three-way tussle between valentino, barros, and new challenger sete gibernau, even if at times it's less tussling and more wobbling. in the last couple of laps, it's down to sete and valentino to have it out in the treacherous conditions - and the last lap is proper dramatic. sete had already gotten one over valentino in welkom... but this defeat, coming after valentino had led the race, must surely have stung even more
*catalunya 2003: I feel a little mean making my first three 2003 picks races valentino all lost in quite painful fashion, but, hey, it's character building and really set up his whole arc for the next season-and-a-half. this one is... well. it's both embarrassing and kinda neat from vale. most of this race consists of a duel with capirossi - and when valentino hits the front, you do think that's going to be it. capirossi keeps close, however, and valentino eventually makes an error, running wide to let him through. shortly afterwards, he makes even a worse mistake and runs off into the gravel. once he's fucked up it's a pretty fun performance, where he starts posting pleasingly insane lap times to recover from sixth back to second
***sachsenring 2003: this race will always be remembered for valentino's penultimate corner overtake followed by his last corner mistake that resulted in sete's unlikely victory, but the race before that is good fun too! valentino looks like he'll make a break for it, and obviously miserably fails in his attempt - this time he's the one to be slowly, slowly, slowly caught by a persistent rival who eventually manages to get the better of him again. after this race, valentino vowed he wouldn't be taking any more prisoners. he didn't
****brno 2003: after a horrifying four race losing streak and the humiliation of sachsenring, valentino came back from the summer break with new determination and hunger and a mission to not let anyone get in his way any more. he does not have an easy time of it at brno, with a classic multi-rider dogfight that features regular and dramatic shake-ups of the riders' fortunes. the finish is incredibly close, and vale could have easily been denied the opportunity to pull out his elaborate victory celebrations: dressing up as a convict to symbolise how he felt imprisoned by his own success. here is a more in-depth post about the race
****phillip island 2003: this starts off in classic phillip island fashion, with a bunch of riders having it out in the early laps. then, valentino takes the lead and makes a break for it, and it looks like the excitement of the rest of the race will be all about the fierce fight for the remaining podium positions... except there's a twist. valentino overtook another rider under yellow flag conditions - and unlike donington that year where he was retroactively slapped with a ten second penalty that denied him the win, this time he is informed of the penalty during the race. this race is about as exhilarating as it is possible for a race to get when you're watching someone riding alone in the front - and you'll be provided with some added spice with the scrap for the last podium place. in the end, valentino crosses the finishing line with an obscene margin of over fifteen seconds
^think I already posted these notes somewhere but I can't NOT mention the commentary for this race. bottom of this post I included the autobiography excerpt about how valentino channelled his fury to win this race - very revealing!
****welkom 2004: still perhaps valentino's favourite victory of them all, and with good reason. his first race with yamaha and one that the entire paddock thought he didn't have a hope of winning... until they hit the track that weekend. valentino led every single session and qualified on pole: he said the pole position felt as good as ten with honda. better yet was still to come, with valentino claiming a victory following a thrilling duel against his old foe biaggi that raged on until the very last lap. such was the pace that third-placed sete was seven seconds down on the top pair at the chequered flag
^valentino stopped at the side of the track after his win, kissing his bike and sitting down for a moment to soak in the moment. he says he was laughing into his helmet: "'and so in the end I was right!' I thought to myself. 'I can't believe it, I screwed them all... what a show!'"
****mugello 2004: this race has so much going on, and all of it is highly enjoyable. valentino might have won the last two races at mugello - but off the back of two fourth places and with mugello's famously terrifying long straight, it felt like surely the more powerful hondas would have the decisive edge. and this one is a hard fight for valentino. it's a hard fight with several riders, it's a hard fight with sete and, following an interruption due to the rain, it's a hard fight in mixed conditions where valentino initially drops back to seventh to figure out the grip levels - before speeding off to the win. all the best types of races rolled into one
***catalunya 2004: right after mugello, it's time to visit sete's home - and here valentino kicks off a bit of a tradition of memorable one-on-one catalunya duels... as well as a habit of beating spaniards at the track. it's hard fought, it's challenging, but again valentino emerges on top
***assen 2004: the third consecutive race that featured an extended duel with sete. initially involving barros too - but he crashes, and it's down to the familiar protagonists. this really works as the last episode of that mini-trilogy because you can tell how badly sete felt he needed to reassert himself in that title fight, and conversely how little interest valentino had in letting him do so. involves a hard last lap overtake that resulted in contact. sete was not best pleased, but valentino had secured the win and the championship lead
^left: catalunya, where valentino dons the doctor's garb to perform a series of 'medical checks' on his yamaha, feat. stethoscope and thermometer, before declaring it fit for duty. right: assen, where yamaha staff dress up as doctors to pay tribute to him
qatar 2004: a good old-fashioned hubris ride. valentino was slapped with a back-of-the-grid penalty for some midnight grid cleaning shenanigans and is furious about this. he gets quite possibly the best start of his career and is eighth after a few corners, continues charging and barging his way through the field... before crashing and mashing up his finger and reopening that year's championship fight. the race does get a little dull after valentino does his thing - here are the ten most relevant minutes of footage as well as some more details about the penalty and the race. the weekend that irrevocably damaged his relationship with sete
***phillip island 2004: an underrated spite ride. if you're in the penultimate race of the season and you know a second place is enough to clinch the title and you're over a second behind your title rival and you historically suck at the circuit where title deciders are held, the sensible thing to do is just ride home in second place when it becomes clear the third-placed guy is not catching up. obviously, valentino does not do this, not least because he is determined to stop sete from ever winning a race again. this goes down to the very last lap and it is either a very cool or a very dumb way to seal a title, depending on how you look at it
****jerez 2005: both protagonists make very little secret from the start of the race of just how much they want to beat each other: this is war. and it's a war in which sete has the upper hand for most of the way through (as much as you can really feel you have the 'upper hand' with valentino sitting on your rear tyre) - until valentino makes his move with three laps to go. it takes an error from valentino on the last lap to set up the dramatic and controversial finale, with the infamous valentino block pass that sent his bike careening into sete's. the actions of a man who had decided neither of them finishing the race was a more acceptable outcome than his enemy taking the win, and the relationship between the two riders manages to improbably deteriorate still further
^satisfied with a good day's work as the furious spaniards jeer. if anyone had any lingering doubts about valentino's trademark ruthlessness, they were dispelled that day
**mugello 2005: another year, another thrilling mugello battle. it's looking increasingly clear that this will be a one-rider title fight, but luckily that isn't impacting the race quality (think marc's 2019, where he was incidentally the same age as valentino is here). similarly to the year before, there's cause for concern whenever you're fighting more powerful bikes at mugello, but after a dramatic multi-rider fight valentino is not to be denied
**catalunya 2005: back on sete soil and oh god how much he would have loved to win this race. it's the tension and hatred and desperation that makes these races so exciting to watch - though sete is hardly helped out in his mission of revenge by teammate marco melandri who keeps sabotaging sete's attempts to defy valentino's curse. but melandri has whatever the opposite of main character energy is and the race ends up being another valentino/sete duel. some excellent riding by the pair of them, valentino is particularly fearsome on the brakes that day, and sete has truly taken his gloves off when fighting valentino. but of course, valentino denies sete once again and makes a break for it shortly before the end
****donington park 2005: the defining wet weather ride of valentino's career - even though it got off to a shaky start (literally) and continued to be pretty shaky most of the way. this race was held in truly appalling conditions that they probably would not race in these days, and it's reflected in the number of dnf's - one of which was courtesy of poor sete gibernau once again crashing out of the lead. for most of the way, valentino is wobbling his way into the lead and wobbling his way out of it again... but after some big scares and some time spent nicely sheltering behind other riders, he finally figures out the grip conditions - and he's off. it's one of those rides that is just demoralising for everyone else in how good it is, with valentino pulling insultingly far clear from the other riders with insulting ease
^valentino plays a violin after crossing the finish line. teammate edwards: "I looked at his data and it was scary. he was locking the front in the rain on a shitty track that was slicker than snot, at every corner. this guy's crazy!" not pictured - valentino hugging himself and shivering while parking the bike... and being provided with an anorak and gloves that he only very, very, very reluctantly relinquishes when stepping onto the podium
*le mans 2005: you realise fairly quickly that this one's building to something juicy. colin edwards, valentino's teammate, takes the lead and heads out on his own, as valentino sets off after him - eventually slotting into his favourite position sitting right on the leader's rear tyre. except, he can't afford to hang around - because sete is going faster than both of them and is rapidly catching up. this one really gets going when the inevitable happens and the three of them collide on track, and of course we end up with another sete/valentino duel. cruelly, it's another one where the winner is still not entirely decided when they enter the very final lap... but the curse will not be denied. valentino breaks the circuit record on the last lap
*sachsenring 2005: the problem with watching these races is that even if you would prefer not to know the result going in... well, every single time the race comes down to a duel between sete and valentino post-qatar 2004, however strong sete looks, however confident, however near he is to the victory... you know he's obviously not going to make it. my advice is to really lean into it - the joy/horror of it all is in discovering how it's going to go wrong this time. this race features another lovely duel between valentino and sete, at a track that suits the honda far better than it does the yamaha. valentino leads early on before sete manages to catch up and overtake him. two laps to go and sete is still in the lead as valentino stalks him around... you know how this story goes
*brno 2005: ah, the misery. listen, if you enjoyed the previous sete/valentino duels I listed, then you're going to enjoy this one too. it's the race immediately following sachsenring and it feels like basically they just continued the last one, and boy are they going at it from the very start. sete determinedly sticks with valentino and surely one of these has to go his way... includes a particularly cruel twist on the final lap
qatar 2005: one year on from the race in which valentino put his curse on sete, and it feels like this might be sete's best chance for the remainder of the season to free himself. he gets perilously close to making a break for it ahead of the battling melandri and valentino... but of course, he can never run far enough. another painful defeat (if one caused by melandri more than valentino) and eventually valentino claims victory at the circuit that had caused him such trouble the year before
qatar 2006: valentino's 2006 season got off to a tricky start when toni elias rode into him in the very first corner of the opening race, and his luck didn't get much better from there. still, the year featured plenty of excellent valentino rides - including the second race of the season, where he fought his way through from sixth on the grid. features his first tussle with the rookie pole sitter, one casey stoner, who defends sternly against his future rival. eventually, valentino faces off against nicky hayden in a decent extended scrap that went on for much of the race
***mugello 2006: boy, did valentino get himself involved in some banger races at this circuit during his time. sete tries to escape at the front, and even in a tough year like 2006 valentino will not allow that man a moment's rest. a duel between sete and valentino ensues (featuring melandri and casey), then valentino suddenly drops down to fifth, then the race turns into a three-way encounter between capirossi, hayden, and... still valentino. he emerges from the feisty fray with a much-needed win
***sachsenring 2006: you could copy paste 'much-needed win' any time valentino won this year, and sachsenring is no exception. not traditionally his strongest track, valentino's urgency produced one hell of a race ripe with tension throughout. the yamaha's struggles made for a difficult qualifying and he fought his way through from eleventh on the grid. even when he caught the leaders and passed them, he couldn't just clear off like in times past, dragging three dogged riders along with him - but he just about managed to hold them off for the win
****sepang 2006: one of the best valentino duels, this time featuring one of his oldest rivals in the form of loris capirossi. part of his remarkable late season charge that brought him within kissing distance of the title. the entire race is enjoyable but the final lap is one for the ages, with valentino vicious in both attack and defence
^no hard feelings: capirossi hugs valentino while vale is still on the bike. 2006 is a rare title fight in which valentino genuinely liked most of his major rivals. vale was exhausted after the battle in the gruelling sepang conditions and had a little sit down after hugging his team
phillip island 2006: the first bike swap race and quite frankly the whole thing is a mess. a lot happens and it's classic late season chaos where the championship standings and implications are chopping and changing by the lap. when the dust settles, valentino has snagged third place on the last lap off poor sete gibernau and chips away a little more at hayden's championship lead
***estoril 2006: sure, valentino lost the 2006 title when he crashed at valencia, but he also lost it by .002s in estoril. this race featured a dramatic twist in the title fight when rookie dani pedrosa wiped out his teammate hayden, and suddenly valentino had to consider just how much risk he was willing to take. he had mostly decided to play it safe - but then couldn't help himself and ended up attacking toni elias on the very last lap. if he had managed to bag the extra five points, then even with the valencia crash he would have won the title on countback
valencia 2006: everyone thought valentino would be winning the title again headed into the weekend, and they became even more certain of it when valentino qualified on pole. but in the end, it was not to be. valentino got a poor start and felt something was wrong with the bike (or maybe it was the tyres, if one casey stoner is to be believed), but admits the mistake that left him on the ground was his own. a bitter pill to swallow after a season plagued by misfortunes, though valentino had always gotten on well with title winner nicky hayden and was sincere in his congratulations
****catalunya 2007: from the start of 2007, it was clear that new ducati hire casey stoner would be a problem. with yamaha's struggles continuing into the new 800cc era, ducati had gotten it spot on at the first try... even if it was only casey who could completely tame their troublesome bike. for a while, it seemed easy to dismiss casey's victories as built primarily on the back of the infamous ducati horsepower, but at catalunya casey proved he was far more than just a powerful engine. one of the true classic catalunya duels, with both riders displaying dazzling race craft, and one of casey's finest career victories
***assen 2007: valentino's season wasn't getting any easier - the yamaha was one thing but his continued struggles with the michelin tyres if anything frustrated him even more. he qualified in eleventh place and doesn't get a particularly good start while casey streaks off in the front. casey is over five seconds clear at one stage, but valentino manages to hunt down his title rival anyway. it's studying and stalking and lurking and all the rest of it, and as ever casey doesn't make it easy for him - but eventually valentino manages to pass him and pull clear
*estoril 2007: casey's championship was more or less wrapped up by this point, though valentino was able to deny him just a little longer at the first match point race. this features a nice scrap between casey and valentino, and then an extended duel with dani that is perhaps the best fight the two of them ever had. it was a much-needed win in a rough patch for valentino on- and off-track - and he dedicated it to one of his idols, the rally legend colin mcrae who had just passed away
**catalunya 2008: yes, okay, I know he won the three races before that one - but this one's a more fun race! after an initial adaptation period to his shiny new bridgestone tyres, his season had finally properly kicked off with the aforementioned three race win streak. at catalunya, valentino only qualified in ninth, and pedrosa streaked off in front - but valentino and casey engaged in a highly enjoyable rematch of the previous year's duel. in the end, it was valentino who prevailed, but casey and ducati had clearly gotten their own house in order...
^the version of valentino that marc first met, before vale's race in his special football-themed livery and leathers
****laguna seca 2008: after catalunya, casey stormed on to win the next three races on the trot, typically by ominous margins. heading into laguna seca, a race casey had dominated with ease the year before and valentino had never gone particularly well at, valentino knew casey might be in danger of running away with this championship... and he was determined to do something to finally conduct this rivalry on his terms. nobody expected there would be a contest for the victory, let alone one valentino won - but he did, in a brutal encounter that served as a masterclass in psychological intimidation. the relationship between the two rivals did not emerge unscathed
*indianapolis 2008: another race, another mediocre start, if this time from pole. it sets up a fun (to watch) race in worsening conditions, as valentino takes his time to get comfortable with the grip levels before slowly and surely working his way through the field and stalking first casey then nicky hayden around the track. he makes it to the front before eventually the race has to be called off - and, in a rare moment of unity, valentino and casey are seen briefly talking to ezpeleta together, presumably to tell him they have less than zero interest in going out again in that weather. they get their way and the race is called off, with valentino bagging his fourth consecutive victory - a streak he of course started at laguna. his second and last win on US soil
motegi 2008: the title-sealing race and fifth consecutive win - not the most exciting entry on this list, but earns its place by featuring a bit of a duel between title rivals casey and valentino for the lead (after they both get past dani, casey in a rather rude way that he apologises for with a hand gesture) (not that he gives the position back and valentino immediately swoops through too). motegi had always been one of vale's weakest tracks, and it must have felt extra sweet to clinch the title at the home race of his perennial enemies at honda (as he miserably failed to do in 2005 in a deeply embarrassing performance)
^'scusate il ritardo', or 'sorry for the delay': this title was special given the heartache of the two previous years. all smiles with casey and jorge (who comes to parc fermé to congratulate his teammate)
*sepang 2008: as was sometimes rare in that era, this race involves several good fights going on simultaneously down the order. the fight for the victory ends up coming down to valentino and dani, and it's a nice little duel they put on - plus there's also dovi's dramatic fight for the final podium position to enjoy
jerez 2009: dani and valentino's young teammate jorge lorenzo are the clear pre-race favourites and there's a slight fear one of them will run away with it... but jorge never quite finds his groove and ends up crashing, while dani very much does not run away with it. valentino finds something extra after being absolutely nowhere all weekend, as he had a habit of doing. features valentino shadowing first casey and dani - and a particularly nifty contact-free block pass at the infamous final corner on casey. valentino's first win of a tough season
****catalunya 2009: one of valentino's finest career victories - and another example of his ability to wrest control of a season when he needed to. off the back of two tricky/embarrassing races at le mans/mugello, it felt like the time had come to demonstrate he was a serious contender in that year's championship... as well as assert himself within yamaha over his increasingly troublesome young teammate. the stakes are clear: jorge sorely wanted to win in front of his home crowd and valentino sorely wanted to beat him there. after a strong start, the physically ailing casey falls back, letting jorge and valentino soar off and fight it out as they take turns to tail each other around the track. a duel for the ages and the victory that transforms his fortunes in that season (some more details in this post)
**sachsenring 2009: a few races after catalunya, it was once again jorge and valentino to fight it out for the win - unusual for two yamahas at that track. it's a duel that has been overshadowed by catalunya, but this is another gem: a close and dramatic battle at a time when it felt like jorge was the one who had something to prove. but valentino demonstrates how hard it still is to best him in head-to-head combat, and he ends up beating the number 99 bike by the pleasing margin of .099s (listen I have no evidence for this but in my heart of hearts I 100% believe he noticed and appreciated this fact)
misano 2009: this race followed valentino's massive error in indianapolis, crashing and reopening the championship fight at a time when it looked like he had things perfectly under control. his traditional special home race helmet is dedicated to taking the piss out of himself - featuring a donkey because of how "stupid" he had been. but in misano he was the "flying donkey"... look, it's not the best race you'll ever watch, but after a poor start (surely not), he does do quite a nice job to overtake dani for the lead. in parc fermé, his team dons donkey ears, and he gets his own pair to wear to the podium as he greets his ecstatic fans
**sachsenring 2010: valentino's early season was troubled by a motocross shoulder injury he'd picked up after qatar, and he had to push harder and harder to keep up with an ever-improving jorge. eventually, he pushed too hard and broke his leg in mugello. this was his first race back, returning sooner than anyone had expected (except casey, who thought people were making too big a deal out of the whole thing) - and he immediately was on the pace, to everyone's surprise (not casey's, who thought valentino's main problem was just losing a bit of muscle mass). this race features an excellent duel between casey and valentino in the closing stages for the final podium position, with casey stealing it from valentino at the very last gasp. it was an impressive performance by the pair of them, a heartwarming demonstration of how mediocre bikes and broken legs can be overcome by the power of mutual contempt
***motegi 2010: do you ever feel overcome by the sudden urge to watch someone be an absolute asshole for no good reason? if so, then I have the perfect race for you. jorge is very close to clinching that year's title, and in truth it's a pretty sure-fire thing given dani is out with injury. still, it's generally not considered good form to ride into your teammate at the best of times. valentino continues to struggle with his fucked up shoulder late into the season, but spite will do all kinds of magical things for you. it's a race-long battle for third place between the yamaha teammates, and the last few laps in particular are uh. intense. features valentino dangling out his leg to increasingly comical extents - whether to try and mitigate the shoulder issues or whether to physically block jorge is anyone's guess. jorge basically rides right into the leg more than once. there are at least three separate extremely dubious moves valentino pulls on jorge. you can tell jorge is losing his mind. you can feel the sheer concentrated malice radiating off valentino. when valentino gets off the bike, the mic picks up how he tells the yamaha team that it "was fun". not everyone would agree
^you'd think a season in which valentino had broken his leg might be one where everyone lays off the dramatics a little, but somehow this year was the one in which valentino's relationships with both of his main rivals soured considerably and made the final step from 'rivalry' to 'feud'. there'll always be a slight air of unfinished business to the casey rivalry in particular, but 2010 did end up unwittingly providing us with a few gems. in the motegi qualifying press conference (pictured above), vale talks about how he knows he needs shoulder surgery - but is determined to delay the surgery until the end of the season. it wasn't a good decision for his shoulder
**sepang 2010: the race that immediately follows motegi. valentino doesn't qualify particularly well and starts worse, dropping back to 12th during the first lap as jorge and dovi set out in front. but valentino determinedly sets after them - and when he catches up, they engage in a lovely three-way scrap in the race in which jorge can seal the championship... as long as valentino doesn't knock him off. this doesn't reach the viciousness of motegi, but it still involves three riders who clearly really want to win and also really want to beat each other. his first victory after the broken leg - and his last one for a long time
jerez 2011: thing is, right, if you just ignore the bit where he wipes both himself and casey out and then has to pick the bike up and start again, it's actually a really good ride! can't fault it! did his thing in the wet again! just one little. uh. blot on the copybook. I wouldn't even say the ambition outweighed the talent as much as it was his patience, given he knew it might be the only chance he'd get for a big result for a while on the struggling ducati. it's the kind of misjudgement he makes relatively rarely in his career, and speaks to his frustrations with the continuing shoulder problems as well as the underperforming desmosedici. casey was less than sympathetic
le mans 2011: it's le mans, it's raining, you know how it goes... these conditions were pretty much the only times valentino could manage a decent pace in his ducati years. this one should've gone on the dovi list too actually, not least because jorge executes an extremely rude move on dovi I feel confident in saying dovi did not appreciate (he gets jorge back with a far more polite and civilised move). casey runs off with the win by a fairly obscene margin but behind him there's plenty of talking points - not least the hugely controversial clash between dani and sic that leaves jorge, dovi and valentino fighting for the two remaining podium spots
*le mans 2012: valentino might have expressed mixed feelings over the course of his career about riding in the wet, but it sure did its job during the ducati years as the great big equaliser. now, point of order: in my casey rec list, I described this as 'not a great casey race', which I don't stand by at all. the last casey/vale duel (that also heavily features a vale/dovi/cal crutchlow tussle), with valentino stalking and harassing casey both at the start and the end of the race - though he did exercise some advisable caution... initially. involves a last lap overtake and is valentino's best ducati performance
^the last podium valentino and casey shared, in the race after casey announced his retirement. usually it's a bit easier to tell when a valentino feud is at its worst, and the two of them joked in the press conference about how they were thinking back during the race to their 2011 jerez clash. ducati were in such a miserable place in those two years that in truth, nobody could have done much with that bike - casey certainly could have done more, but by 2010 the bike so awful that valentino outscored casey that season even after fucking up his shoulder and breaking his leg. vale's sole dry podium in the ducati seasons came at an emotional home race in misano the year after sic's passing, though unfortunately it's not a particularly watchable race. there are some other rides in those two years that are strong in isolation, but valentino isn't the star of the show - and really, it'd be a waste of our precious time to talk any more about two years that were a waste of valentino's precious time
qatar 2013: the first race back with yamaha and the first race of a 'qatar trilogy' of sorts, i.e. 2013-15, where valentino just keeps executing extremely watchable races by qualifying poorly/dropping back at the start and then fighting his way through. by the time he catches up with the pack, race winner lorenzo is long gone - but valentino can still have his first fight with the next big thing in motogp, the rookie marc marquez. there's an optimism to this race, the hope of new beginnings in a series that perhaps needed some life breathed back into it... and so did valentino. all three men on the podium have good reason to be delighted, and show it. valentino truly had not known if he could be competitive again after the dark ducati days, and he looks happier here than he has in ages
*assen 2013: his first victory in the post-ducati days and a track at which he had always been strong. partly helped out by jorge's collarbone injury (though assen had always been a bit of a bogey track for jorge), valentino overtook stefan bradl, marc and dani for the win. it's not the most thrilling of races, but is still perfectly enjoyable - and you can tell by valentino's reaction how much it meant to him
qatar 2014: bar a few high points, valentino's 2013 season had been troubled and frustrating as he found himself unable to match the top three in the championship. he decides to make one more big move - this time not by switching teams, but instead by firing his long-time crew chief jb. the start of 2014 is all about seeing if he can become competitive once again... and if he cannot then he will retire. qatar is a promising start, coming back from a poor qualifying to engage in a tightly fought duel with marc that lasts until the penultimate lap
misano 2014: valentino clearly stepped up his game this season, making him decide to continue on racing in motogp in a year in which marc was dominating the competition. race wins, however, remained elusive - but there is nowhere valentino would have rather emerged victorious than his own backyard. the opening stages are a proper fun three-way tussle between valentino, marc and jorge. valentino gets to the front and marc pursues him, so doggedly determined to get the better of valentino that he ends up crashing. the rest of the race isn't all that exciting, but it's notable as the first race in which valentino directly outperformed both marc and jorge when they were fully fit. the ranch visit happens after this race
phillip island 2014: never the most gifted of qualifiers, valentino would continually struggle to get to grips with the new qualifying format introduced in 2013 - and his grid position of eighth was typical of the time. but you can't fault him for his ability to pick his way through the field as he does here, which culminates in his enjoyable duel with jorge for what was then p2. he got lucky with marc's crash out of a sizeable lead, but it was still a good ride to ensure he would be the one to take advantage
***qatar 2015: it takes one corner for the 2015 championship to be blown wide open, when two time defending champion marc marquez goes off and drops to the back of the field. for much of the race, it looks like jorge will be the primary benefactor, battling it out with two revitalised ducatis. valentino starts badly and drops to tenth, but he works his way through the field - and eventually it is he who fights the ducatis for the win. this is actually a really nice marc comeback ride too, even if he never comes into victory contention. it is also a statement victory from valentino. game on
^valentino started the season on a high, daring to hope that the elusive tenth title might finally be his. the optimism would last roughly until they got to europe and jorge hit his stride, after which it was a gruelling defensive campaign to try and cling onto his points lead
**argentina 2015: the thing is, right, qualifying poorly isn't great. starting poorly also isn't great. but if you want to be fighting for titles, you should maybe pick a struggle and stop doing both. valentino's championship bid that year has all these charming races where he's still at the fuck end of nowhere after the first lap before heroically picking his way through the field, which feels needlessly exhausting but there we are. it is, however, exciting to watch how he creeps closer and closer to marc - and he eventually catches up on the penultimate lap. the resulting duel is short but memorable
****assen 2015: a duel that will always be remembered for the controversy surrounding the final chicane, but the whole race is a fantastic watch. valentino needed a result after jorge had won four races on the trot and had led 103 consecutive laps - and he played the weekend perfectly to achieve it. his only pole of the season and, excitingly, actually a good start too... but marc quickly slots in to sit on his rear tyre and it's a fight that continues the entire race. did valentino know what marc had been intending to do at the final chicane, given marc had admitted to repeatedly executing the move during that weekend's practise sessions? or was it just quick thinking that allowed him to read marc's move and realise he only had one counter available? we'll never know for certain - though marc was suspicious of valentino's motives and eagerly made his thoughts on the matter known in the post-race press conference. the beginning of the end
**silverstone 2015: after brno, valentino had surrendered the championship lead for the first time that season on countback and it was obvious he was in serious trouble. silverstone had proven a fairly happy hunting ground for jorge over the years and it looked like he would continue doing his thing that weekend... but then the rain came to the rescue. valentino spends most of the race with fellow wet weather expert marc stalking his every move, until marc goes down and valentino is left managing the gap to a late-charging petrucci. one of the finest wet weather performances of his career - and in several ways jorge got lucky to limit the points damage
^valentino's shadow, until marc pushed it too far and crashed. was marc more determined to beat valentino here than he would have been anyone else? valentino sure seems to think so - he later references both this race and misano as ones where marc aroused his suspicions. who knows, he might be right, but there's still a sizeable difference between competitive fervour and conspiracy
****phillip island 2015: one of the classic multi-rider fights. what valentino lacked in outright pace, he made up for in wheel-to-wheel skill and fighting spirit... except in the end, he couldn't completely make up for the deficit. all year, valentino had been fighting against the odds to keep his championship dreams alive - but at last, they were truly slipping, slipping, slipping away
**sepang 2015: one last roll of the dice, classic rossi-style... but this time it all goes horribly wrong. when the duel between marc and valentino arrives, it has an air of inevitability about it - as, perhaps, does the final outcome. but the fight itself is captivating to watch, in a raw brutality that befits the tragedy we are watching unfold. the penalty that valentino receives after the race is what truly dooms any remaining title hopes
valencia 2015: another doomed title decider, though valentino's race itself cannot really be faulted. he picks his way through the field from the very back and makes it to fourth, but he could never have hoped to catch up to the top three. quite a boring race afterwards bar some late marc/dani scrapping
jerez 2016: it is admittedly hard to vouch for the quality of this race precisely because it is such an extremely non-valentino way to win. clear and complete domination of the race - in a way he had otherwise been incapable of doing post-2009. while the title fight ended up being a bit of a dud for various reasons, early 2016 held promise that this year valentino would be able to match his two enemies on raw pace
***catalunya 2016: after the dramatic closing stages of the 2015 season, everyone was of course waiting for the first proper on-track duel between valentino and marc. it took a while to get going at catalunya, with valentino getting a typically poor start and having to ruthlessly work his way through to even get to the marc fight. but it's worth it once he gets there - like all their on-track encounters, it's a fierce battle of wills nicely complemented by the contrast in styles, and you can tell how ferociously determined they are to get the better of each other. the race that prompts the slight rapprochement between the pair of them
silverstone 2016: maverick vinales ran off in the front to claim his first premier class win, though the fight behind him is well worth watching - and warranted a mention on the marc list too. the first part is good, but the final laps are what it's all about, as the multi-rider scrap distills into another vicious little encounter between valentino and marc. as ever, with these two it's personal, and they're hardly shy in their ferocity fighting each other. but valentino makes clear afterwards he has no complaints... even if marc always reserves a "special treatment" for him
cota 2017: a lovely whiff of controversy to one of the better races cota has produced. valentino is involved in a feisty clash with the rookie johann zarco, who was well on his way to acquiring a certain kind of reputation within the premier class. it's fair to say valentino was not a fan, and he's certainly not a fan of zarco's attempted overtake that valentino argued forced him off-track to avoid taking them both down. he's slapped with a three tenths penalty his team decided against informing him of - which he's still unaware of when closing up on dani with a few laps to go
^not quite the hand-holding of yesteryear, but it was something. the pair of them disagreed in the post-race presser about zarco's aggressive riding - and, perhaps, valentino's off-track excursion that supposedly granted him an unfair advantage reminded marc of a certain other previous incident. riding standards remained a major talking point for all of that season, most notably in assen and phillip island (though valentino himself ended up coming under some criticism, in particular by pedrosa after aragon). the two rivals agreed more often than not, even if valentino still had his reservations. after phillip island: "all riders are very aggressive, so you have to be more stupid than them"
**assen 2017: his last grand prix victory and it's as true to him as brno 1996. a rough, bruising tussle between riders who aren't afraid to exchange paint, with plenty of high quality racing on offer. some rain adds to the excitement - and valentino still faced a sturdy challenge on the very last lap. he remains the only rider in history to have recorded a grand prix win over twenty years after his first. he said afterwards that "sincerely I race with motorcycle for what you feel the five, six hours after the victory". in many ways, it feels like a scarcely believable amount of commitment for so fleeting a reward
****phillip island 2017: multi! rider! scrap! in! australia! valentino's strongest result after a broken leg in a motocross accident took him definitively out of the title hunt (the second serious motocross-related injury that year for him). anyhow, they're at it again and it's a brutal battle between several protagonists who are happy to get their elbows well, well out. valentino's leathers were marked by rather a lot of rubber by the end of the race - but the most important thing is that everyone had fun!
sachsenring 2018: valentino's 2018 performances were generally stronger than the results would suggest, with yamaha increasingly out at sea in a new era hurried along by the return of the michelin tyres. still, he put together a strong first half of the season and was marc's main challenger points-wise. even this late in his career, he demonstrated his willingness to continue to learn and improve by studying satellite yamaha rider jonas folger's performance fighting marc the year before at the circuit, joking after the race that nobody had ever told folger the yamaha wasn't supposed to be good around there. while in the end valentino couldn't really pose a significant challenge to marc, he gives it a good go and gets involved in a fun fight with jorge along the way
****assen 2018: one of the classic multi-rider dogfights, and valentino contributes very nicely to the drama of the race - not least as a result of his deep love for the final chicane. while the winner always had something extra in his back pocket, a rather unfortunate late coming together ends up (probably) depriving valentino of what would have been a deserved podium place
argentina 2019: marc disappears the moment the lights go out, but the battle behind him provides plenty of excitement. there's a bunch of riders fighting for the remaining podium places, elbows nicely out, but eventually valentino and dovi have it out in an entertaining contest that goes down right to the very last lap
^winning a last lap duel against andrea dovizioso... what, like it's hard? a year on from an eventful argentina grand prix, marc memorably likens his handshake with valentino to kissing a girl. the last podium the two of them share
andalusia 2020: some silly good defending against his teammate throughout the race that mainly had the effect of allowing fabio to escape. valentino's result was quite the heroic feat given the gruelling physical conditions: 36 degrees celsius with horrendous track temperatures, with only 13 of 21 riders making it to the end. the blistering heat also hardly helped with the tyre preservation that plagued this portion of valentino's career; managing these tyres was one development too far for his ever-evolving riding style to adjust to. two academy riders could have denied valentino's final career podium, but both their bikes had the decency to break down
^three yamaha's stood on the podium that day for the first time since 2014 phillip island, and presumably for the last time until around 2064. valentino celebrated enthusiastically to the empty jerez grandstands, 21 years after his infamous visit to the portaloo at the same circuit. valentino's decision to retire was complicated by the pandemic, his past ability to bounce back from rough patches and - most of all - his inexhaustible passion for racing, but eventually he called it a day after the 2021 season
#valentino rossi#//#vr46#motogp#nobody count how many races this is. just don't do it#i'm sorry it's just a silly long career#most exciting thing about posting this is finally getting this shit out of my drafts. getting sick of trying to scroll past it#when i was compiling the casey rec list i was like 'oh i feel bad for including laguna'#and by now i've progressed to 'here are valentino rossi's twenty biggest flops'. quite literally if you counted it probably#i do realllly need to go back to casey's list and make a few additions. why did i say le mans 2012 wasn't a good casey race :(#i think i missed out like three of the top six casey/vale duels which is a lesson in checking your notes more carefully before doing these#i do low key hate this list i feel like i've run out of good ways to describe races without getting horrendously repetitive#people always take the piss out of commentators for cliches but you do kinda run out of ways to phrase things pretty quickly#at least i've not once used the phrase 'famous victory'#also btw if you're looking for full noughties seasons to watch - think it's pretty uncontroversial to go 2004 and 2006
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Hi! Sorry for bothering you with this but how could you put the links in your bio with a tag? idk how to do it😭 please🙏🏼
hii! if i understand you correctly, then have you tried this tutorial?
it's a little outdated, but you still need to access your theme, only now you can find it (on a computer!) by clicking on "account" on the left side of the screen, then choosing your blog. then, you click on "blog settings" on the right-side menu, and you'll see "edit theme" in the menu in the middle
and after that, you can change your description with the codes in the tutorial above!
#ask#thatbtssong#it's been a while since i had to do this#so i can imagine it seems like it's a bit of a headache to get it going#especially if you haven't used codes before?#but it's really nothing big! you do it once and you kind of get a grasp on it right away#unless this isn't what you were asking at all shsjfh
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(Set right before season 4)
Steve rushes over to the Henderson house after an ominous call from Dustin saying, "Come over as soon as you can, it's an emergency," before hanging up dramatically.
He can hear his nail bat rolling around in his trunk every turn he takes as he gets there in record time. He grabs the bat out of the trunk and rushes to the door, not bothering to knock before he barges in.
He's met with the sight of Eddie Munson staring at him with wide eyes as Dustin yells, "No! No! Don't swing! Not a code red!"
Steve sets down the bat and lets out a deep breath. "What the hell, Henderson?! I could've seriously taken you out with this thing!" He hears Dustin give him a half-assed apology as he tries to get his heartbeat to slow down. "Next time, don't leave such a cryptic message, okay?"
"Okay," Dustin says, holding his hands up.
"What the fuck is that?" Munson asks, staring at the bat.
Steve points at him and says, "Language," before turning to Dustin and asking, "What's he doing here?"
Dustin sighs and gestures them toward his couch. Steve shoots Eddie a look before taking a seat right against the arm of the couch. It's not that he hates him, hell, he's pretty sure he's gotten weed from him before. It's just that he doesn't like sharing this older brother role with another guy - especially one who likes to make dramatic speeches on top of lunch tables.
Based on the way Eddie is similarly leaning away from him and uncomfortably fidgeting with his rings, he can tell there's a mutual tension between them. Dustin doesn't pick up on it as he sits across from them, acting like he's about to deliver the worst news ever.
Steve leans forward a little trying to get Dustin to finally spill and tries not to lean back immediately when he sees that Eddie is doing the same thing.
"Okay, Suzie and I were talking, and her family is considering visiting Hawkins."
Steve smiles. "That's great, but why-"
"Why are you acting like that's bad news?" Eddie asks, finishing Steve's sentence. The two glance at each other, and Steve tries not to size him up.
Dustin groans, "Because I need to take her on a proper date! We weren't able to go on dates during science camp, so I want this to be special. Of course, this is all contingent on whether she can convince her dad to give us alone time..."
"I could be your chaperone, but I'd ditch you once you got to the movie theater," Steve offers.
Eddie scoffs, "Yeah, a date with Suzie will not be at a movie theater."
Steve crosses his legs and turns toward Eddie. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you knew something about dating. Wait a minute." He directs his attention back to Dustin, utterly horrified. "You asked me and Munson for girl help?"
"Don't sound so shocked," Eddie says, but Steve ignores him.
"Yes," Dustin states simply. He sighs and gestures between the two of them. "Steve, you're a lady's man and you know exactly what to say and where the best date spots are, but you pick up the worst girls. Except Robin who you refuse to date." Steve doesn't have time to argue before Dustin points at Eddie, "And Eddie understands all the cool nerd stuff that Suzie and I like, and he's super charismatic. So, I thought we could combine your abilities to create the most epic date in the history of dates."
"No," Steve and Eddie both say at once.
"Guys-"
Steve turns to Eddie and raises an eyebrow. "Why are you protesting my help?"
"Because try as he might, Dustin can't convince me that you aren't an asshole that has never actually wooed a girl. You get by with your pretty looks and think that's enough."
Steve's mind lingers a bit on the "pretty looks" for some reason, but he pushes past it to say, "Please, you're telling me you know a single thing about wooing a girl?"
Eddie leans in with a bright smile. "You heard it from Henderson, I'm charming."
"Charismatic," Steve corrects him, "But I haven't seen a shred of that yet."
Eddie tosses an arm over the back of the couch and scoots in until Steve is trapped against the arm of the couch. Steve tries not to show Eddie how much the sudden closeness is affecting him.
"I could easily charm your pants off, big boy," Eddie says with a wink.
Steve's eyes betray him and flicker down to Eddie's lips. "Please, I'd easily beat you to it."
Eddie tilts his head and looks at him through his lashes. "Are you saying you want to charm my pants off, Harrington? I'm flattered, but I'm not that kind of girl."
Steve raises his eyebrows. "Is that a bet?"
"Do you want it to be? Because it kind of sounds like it."
Steve blames his series of bad dates, the meaningless sex with girls with no substance, and the weird tension between them for his response. "It's a date, Munson."
"So, I'm going to assume that was the weirdest way of you two agreeing to help me," Dustin says, startling Steve away from Eddie who he was definitely not just about to kiss.
"Jesus H. Christ," Eddie mumbles under his breath as he moves away, seeming to have also forgotten where they were.
"Sure, we'll create a date for you two and trial-run it for issues," Steve says.
Dustin smiles wide and giggles, "See, I knew you two would help if you just put your dumb differences aside!"
"Something like that," Eddie mutters. "But hey, what does your gut say? Where do you want to take her?"
Dustin shrugs. "I like the idea of the movies."
Steve slowly looks over at Eddie and gives him a cocky smile. Eddie's mouth twitches momentarily into a frown, but he ignores him. "I'll think of something special to do after, but Harrington can fill you in on a movie date."
"I thought you were the expert on wooing," Steve snarkily replies.
Eddie huffs, "Movie dates just aren't my thing."
If they're actually trial-running this, Steve will make it a point to make movie dates Eddie's thing.
"That sounds great. Thank you both!" Dustin says, still ignoring the obvious tension.
"Well, I've got to head out, but it was good seeing you," Eddie says with a genuine smile that Steve thinks he would like to see more often.
"I do, too. Hey, I'm glad I could help. Next time maybe don't make it sound like a nail-bat emergency though," Steve says lowering his voice before grabbing the bat.
He follows Eddie toward the front, but they both stop and turn to mess up Dustin's hair simultaneously. Steve pulls his hand back when Eddie's hand runs on top of his. He looks at him with his eyebrows furrowed.
"I told you you guys are similar."
Steve thinks that Dustin's right, but maybe they're only similar in the way they both obviously care for him.
They finish their goodbyes and head out into the cold January weather. Steve clutches his jacket tighter around himself - he had forgotten to grab a heavier coat in his rush over. He turns to Eddie and says, "Hey."
Eddie turns to him and raises his eyebrows.
"Want to trial-run that date tonight?"
Eddie frowns at him. "I thought you were joking."
With that, Steve should take the clear out given to him and agree. Yes, it was just a joke. Instead, he says, "It doesn't have to be."
It's a long few seconds of Eddie staring at him before he gets a quiet response of, "Yeah, sure. Uh, let's go to my place though. I don't want your reputation to be tainted if you're seen in public with me."
"I wouldn't mind," Steve says sincerely. He's not sure why he's so adamant about this date, but maybe he just wants to see where that moment on the couch could truly lead. "But hey, your reputation would also be tainted if you're associating with me."
"And we wouldn't want that," Eddie says with a small smile. "The freak and the king. What would people say?"
This surprises a laugh out of Steve before he says, "I think your place would probably be a little more intimate than a movie theater."
He can't tell if Eddie's cheeks suddenly flush a little pinker from the cold or a blush. "I told you, I'm not that kind of guy."
"More intimate doesn't always mean sex. You know this."
Eddie laughs and shakes his head. "Why don't we continue this conversation at my place so you don't freeze to death?"
"I like the sound of that," Steve says, making his way to his car and trying to hide the huge smile that's trying to split across his face all because of Eddie Munson.
He rushes to shove his bat into the trunk, hoping that he won't have to further explain that to Eddie. But based on the way his eyes linger on it, he's thinking he won't get away from questioning too easily.
Luckily, he has prepared his Harrington charm for this moment. And boy, he's going to be using it as often as he can to prove Eddie wrong.
Part Two (aka the final part)
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Yan!Bully x Reader x Yan!Freak Pt 2
"Boys Night Plus One."
18+ Minors DNI
Warnings: Bullying, name calling, degradation, violence, non-consensual photos, nonconsensual touching, male pronouns for the yans, mentions of school, general perversion, toxic behaviors, creep behavior, cum, masturbation, male and female genitalia.
Part 1 here
(AN: This one is for you, anon who sent me a bullet-point list of some ideas for Ahmed and Patrick which were better than anything I could have come up with. I love you.)
You groan, struggling to yank off the cotton top you had taken to wearing for PE class. You had been sick for a week or so, and in order to stay up on your grades you had been doing classwork after school. Today, you are making up some time for gym class using the school's exercise facilities. Once you finally get it off, you unlock your locker and put your gym clothes inside, reapplying your deodorant and putting on your school shirt. Just as you shut your locker, you hear the door of the girl's locker room flap shut, and you perk up at the sound. That's odd, after a few days of working out after school, you've never run into anyone else using the facilities.
"Hello?" You call out, peering around the row of lockers. Suddenly, a fist slams into the locker behind you, making you shriek. You whip around, to see Patrick, the schools most notorious bully laughing his ass off at how spooked you got. "Patrick!" You yell, smacking him lightly. "Ooh, feelin' fiery, huh?" He takes a breath, calming himself after laughing so hard. "What's got you so pissed off?" You roll your eyes.
"You scared me, and you're in the girls locker room!" He fakes shock, and looks around. "Really, the girls locker room? Huh, wonder how I wound up here..." He muses, playfully leaning up against the lockers. "If it was the boys locker room, why would I be here?" You ask. He shrugs. "I don't know, maybe you were tryna' sneak a peek at some dudes after football practice." He grins, leaning over you a little more. "Or maybe you wanted one of them to sneak a peek at you." You blush, and push him away. "Go away, Patrick, there's no reason for you to be here right now." You try to quickly gather your things, and make your way to the door.
"Woah, woah, hey, where ya' going? I'm just checking on you. You haven't been to class lately, I was getting worried." He uses your moment of surprise to grip your wrist and gently pull you back over. "I was sick, just needed some time away from class. Why does that matter to you?" You ask, confused. He's always enjoyed tormenting you, and you would think you were special if he didn't also torment everyone else. Of course, Patrick knows where you've been, because he's had Ahmed posted outside your bedroom for the duration of your absence, both to get photos and make sure you aren't hanging out with anybody else. He shrugs again. "I missed seeing you in these." He reaches into your gym bag, gripping one of the pairs of gym shorts and pulling them out. "Y'know, I don't think these follow the dress code..." Admittedly, you needed to get some new shorts. These ones were small, but you just hadn't gotten around to buying new ones. "Gym class is already fuckin' boring, especially when I can't see your sweet little ass bent over, trying to do toe-touches or yoga or whatever the fuck we're supposed to in that sweaty shit-hole."
You only blush and grab the shorts from him, stuffing them back into your bag. "Well, I'm sure you managed fine without me. There's plenty of girls to perv on that aren't me." You whimper. Patrick chuckles, and shakes is head. "Yeah, but I don't want any of them." He pauses, then clicks his tongue. "That reminds me though, I did make a friend while you were gone. I had a lot of free time since you weren't around to play with." You glance up at him. "Another member of your gang?" You ask. The last thing this school needs is even more assholes hanging out with Patrick. "Nope. It's someone I knew before you left, but I've made amends with them. Patched things up, self-improved." He brags. He looks down at you smugly. "You should be proud of me, I'm a changed man."
"What do you mean?" You aren't sure what previous acquaintance he's referring to. Due to Patrick's widespread terror, it could be pretty much anyone. "You know that new kid, Ahmed?" Your mouth opens in shock. You had heard things about the new boy, with dark hair and wide eyes. You had noticed him a few times in English class. He was always quiet, only occasionally speaking when he was being picked on by the other kids, quietly protesting the abuse. You had traded poetry a few times for an assignment. He seemed very creative. You weren't really sure why the other kids picked on him so much, but you suspected it was because Ahmed was Patrick's new favorite. You had heard of the things he'd done to Ahmed, robbing him, beating him, stealing his classwork. You didn't do anything, how could you? Patrick hated when people stood up to him, and you didn't want his attention on you anymore than it was.
"You're... friends with him now." Patrick nods. "That's cruel, Patrick. You can't do all that stuff to somebody, then force them to play friends with you. It's not right!" You exclaim, boldly defying him for a moment. He only exhales lightly, and puts his hands up in surrender. "You got it all wrong, baby. We are friends, me and him. We've made amends. I told you, I'm changing. I'm a reformed juvenile." He looks up to see if you're buying it. He pouts when he notices you still seem skeptical. "Alright, I guess I'm not 'reformed', exactly, but me and him really are friends now." You only nod, hoping he will drop it and go away. This reaction makes him scoff. "You still don't believe me? Fine, I'll tell you what. I'm going over to see Ahmed at his house tonight, to hang out. Why don't you come with me?" He offers.
You shake your head no quickly. "I'm not going anywhere with you, Patrick." You exclaim. "Well, if you do go, and see me and him are friends, you'll know I'm not such a bad guy, and you might like my new friend. If you don't go though..." He chuckles lowly. "Me and this guy may not be friends... and by not going, your risking this kid getting beat up in his own home. Do you want that on your conscience?" You bite your lip, but shake your head. "No, you don't. I could handle that, but you couldn't, pretty thing. So come on, grab your shit and head over there with me, alright?" You make no movements, and Patrick groans, grabbing your gym-bag. "Fine, since I told you I'm changing, and I'm a gentleman, I'll carry your stuff." His free hand grabs your wrist. You both walk out of the school doors towards the bus stop. As you stand waiting for the bus, he leans in, his lips almost brushing your ear. "We're taking the city bus, and it's late enough that it's gonna be crowded." You nod, not sure where he's going with this. "Lots of hard working people want a seat, and we should give it to them. Being good members of the community and all that shit." He sighs. "So whether or not there's a free seat for you, I expect that ass on my lap for the whole ride, you feel me?" You blush, and look at him with wide eyes. He chuckles, leaning back from your ear. "Gotta save some room for everyone else. Besides, I'm plenty comfortable."
Ahmed is sitting on his bed, foot bouncing at a pace so rapidly it practically shakes his whole scrawny form. He stares at the clock, counting the seconds until Patrick shows up. He promised, promised he'd have a way of getting you here. After weeks and weeks of photographing you from a distance, Patrick promised he would finally get to be near you, talk with you. Ahmed wasn't exactly sure how Patrick was going to accomplish this, but he knew given his reputation it would be easier for Patrick to get a hold of you than him. He just hoped whatever Patrick did, it wouldn't be as severe as what he endured before Patrick and him entered a truce. He didn't want you in his house for the first time, scared and unsure why you were brought there. No! He wanted his new house guest to be comfortable. His room was dark, with books, figures, and posters strewn about. He did his best to make it homey though. He opened the curtains, cleaned out any trash, (hid his camera and photo collection). He was sure Patrick was going to laugh at him for all this, seeing as Patrick had seen the state his room was in before. Ahmed shakes his head. He wasn't worried about Patrick right now. No, he was ready to see you, talk with you. Maybe... maybe even get to touch you.
The door creaks, and Ahmed hears footsteps approaching. Heavy boots, followed by the light patter of smaller feet. He bites his lip to the point it almost breaks skin. Patrick had done it. You were waiting just outside his room.
He hops back onto his bed, trying to look as casual as possible as the blonde menace he now called a friend traipsed in, with you behind him. "Ahmed... looks like you cleaned up a little in here. Huh." Patrick looks around, hands in his pockets as he leans against Ahmed's bed frame. "Ahmed, I believe you know my new friend." Patrick motions at you. Ahmed nods quickly. "Uh, yeah. We have an English class together." He says. "It's nice to actually meet you Ahmed, you and Patrick are-" You sigh. "Friends?" Ahmed nods. "Yeah, we actually have a lot in common..." He chuckles, shrugging. "Crazy, huh?" He coughs awkwardly. You nod, still not fully convinced.
"See, baby? I told ya' there's nothing shifty going on here! Me and Ahmed are just best buds." Patrick flops onto Ahmed's bed, bouncing the boy up a little as he wraps an arm around him, his grip rough on Ahmed's shoulder. 'Best buds' wasn't really a term Ahmed would use, especially considering two days ago Patrick was pounding Ahmed into this very bed, making the scrawny outcast cry and beg for his cock to go just a little deeper, just a little faster to give him that relief. Of course, Patrick was a jerk, and didn't let him reach that peak for at least three hours into the session, when Ahmed's parents came home. Patrick enjoyed making the boy finally cum on his cock, while trying to muffle his cries knowing his parents were just downstairs.
"So, w-would you like to watch a movie, or play a game? I've got Mario Kart, and Mortal Kombat-" Ahmed lists off a few more games, hoping something would catch your attention and endear him to you. You smile awkwardly, but shake your head. You hadn't really planned on staying, considering you were so sure that Patrick was just tormenting this poor boy. "I actually should get going, it's a Friday night, I don't want to intrude on your boys time." You move to grab your gym stuff, and Ahmed's face falls. He looks at Patrick, glancing at you and silently begging Patrick to do something. Anything, just to keep you here longer. "Calm down, I'll fuckin' handle it." Patrick whispers, before running a hand through his hair and turning back to you. "C'mon, baby! We don't mind you hanging out. Besides, Ahmed's had kind of a rough time in our school. I'm the only friend he's got." Ahmed blushes, not realizing the strategy was to make him look like a pathetic loser. "Patrick-" Patrick shoves his shoulder and continues. "Don't you wanna help him make at least one more friend?" You hesitate at the door, before sighing. It certainly isn't healthy for someones only friend to be Patrick, so you nod. "Fine, I'll stay..."
Several hours go by, and after two movies, four rounds of Mario Kart, and one two-liter of Sprite later, you are on the verge of passing out. You aren't really sure what happens in the next few minutes, but all you know is you are now laying in Ahmed's bed, with Patrick to your right and Ahmed squished on your other side, between you and the wall. Patrick fell asleep first, oddly enough. For a guy with so much energy, he gets sleepy quick. Now it's just you and Ahmed.
"Sorry about this, I didn't realize it was so late..." Ahmed apologizes. He isn't sorry. He imagined hundreds of ways this evening could go, but none of them ended with you pressed up against him, in his bed. God, you were getting your scent all over his sheets and his t-shirt. "M' never gonna wash these sheets again." He mumbles to himself. "Mm- what?" You ask groggily, making him jolt and blush. "Nothing, sorry." You go back to trying to sleep, and eventually pass out.
Ahmed tries to sleep as well, but just as he closes his eyes, he feels a weight on top of him. He gasps, and opens his eyes to see Patrick on top of him. "Come on, freak. We've got work to do." He sits back on the boys lap, allowing him to sit up. "Wha- I thought you were asleep." Patrick scoffs, and shakes his head. "Nah, just knew she wouldn't want to fall asleep around big bad me if she thought I was awake. But, I am. Now go find your camera." Ahmed looks confused, making Patrick roll his eyes. "Come on, you didn't think we were just gonna have a sleepover, did you? Tell secrets and make friendship bracelets like a fuckin' girl scout troop? We have a chance to get some close-up shots we could never get otherwise right now. Maybe even get a feel of her, now hurry up." The plan now confirmed, Ahmed scrambles as quietly as he can off the bed, practically throwing himself onto the floor as he blindly feels around under his bed for the camera. He knocks some stuff around, making Patrick his. "Shut the fuck up!" He whispers harshly. "M' sorry! It's dark." Ahmed whines. Finally, his fingers close around cold metal the camera, and he climbs back onto the bed beside Patrick.
"I'm ready. Just tell me when to snap a picture, and I'll do it." Patrick nods. "Heh, I've always wanted to see what's under this shirt." Patrick carefully slides the thin cotton up, not removing it from you but placing it just under your chin, exposing your breasts to the two boys. "Why doesn't she have a bra?" Ahmed asks. "She was coming back from the gym, already took off her sports bra, I guess. It's in her back over there, if you wanna smell it or some shit." Ahmed blushes. "S-smell it?" He stammers. "I don't know, you're the freak here. I'm just guessing that's something you're into." He isn't wrong.
"God, she's got a nice little pair, huh?" Patrick motions for Ahmed to snap a few photos. "Get one of my hands on em' too." Patrick's large hands cup your breasts, his thumb barely brushing past the nipple. Once Ahmed get's the photos, Patrick begins to gently rub his thumb and fore-finger over the nipples, watching as the delicate buds harden. "Fuck, I always like them better when there hard n' shit. Seeing them poke through t-shirts. I caught her out in the cold once, took everything in me to not make her pop em' out right there in the alley behind the school." Patrick smiles and the memory. Ahmed squirms, causing his friend to take notice.
"Gimme your camera." Patrick orders. "Wha- no! This, this camera is everything to me!" Patrick just groans at the boys pleading. "I'm not gonna' break it, freak. Just giving you a chance to free up your hands so you can play with her tits too." Ahmed looks between Patrick and your breasts, which are now peaking in arousal at Patrick's teasing. He sighs. "Okay, fine." Patrick takes the camera, and Ahmed places two hands on your breasts, squeezing ever so gently. "Wow, they're really soft, except for her nipples, I guess..." Patrick restrains himself from laughing so loud he'll wake you up. "God, you are such a fuckin' virgin. Do something photo-worthy, for fucks sake." Patrick eggs Ahmed on, and in a moment of boldness, the boy places a kiss on your collarbone, before slowly trailing his way down to your left breast. After a bit of careful kissing and teasing, his chapped lips find your nipple, latching gently.
"Shit... there you go." Ahmed is so lost in the taste of your soft skin that he doesn't register the camera flashing a few times as Patrick snaps some pictures. What he does hear however, is the soft, wanton moan that escapes your lips. He pulls back, eyes wide as he looks at Patrick. Patrick seems just as shocked, but this is quickly replaced with a toothy grin. "C'mon, clearly your making her feel good. Grab at her shorts, I wanna see if she's wet from us just playing with her girls." Patrick insists, and Ahmed obliges. Trembling fingers pull at your shorts, slowly inching them down your relaxed thighs. "Hurry up-' "I'm trying! It's hard when she's asleep, not exactly cooperating." Ahmed eventually gets the thin shorts down your legs, just above your knees in case they need to move them back up in a hurry. To his delight, he managed to hook your underwear down with them, leaving your soft mound exposed to the two boys.
Ahmed's nimble fingers move to spread your lips, the strings of slick breaking apart as he parts them, coating his fingers. He almost finishes right there, seeing the light of the camera as Patrick snaps a picture reflect off of your slick, letting them know just how soaked you are. "Fuckin' soaked... just from a bit of teasing." Patrick groans, making sure to get a picture of both your holes and Ahmed's fingers parting the folds around them. "Is that not normal?" Patrick shrugs. "I don't know, some people are more sensitive than others, I guess. Especially when they haven't been touched." Ahmed's eyes light up at that, and he whips his head towards Patrick.
"You- you think there's a chance she hasn't... y'know..." Ahmed trails off. "We're literally taking nudes of her cunt right now, just say 'had sex', 'fucked', anything. Jesus." The weaker boy shrinks into himself at the blonde's words. "I mean, it's possible. I've never heard of any guy doin' her, and I've never seen her with another guy around school." Patrick continues. "Isn't that your fault?" Ahmed asks, making his new friend chuckle. "Maybe. You're the one who's been outside her window for the past month, ever seen a guy over?" Ahmed shakes his head no. "Then maybe she's just been waiting for the right guy to come and show her a good time." Patrick moves a little closer to Ahmed, pressing himself against the boy's back. For the first time, Ahmed isn't bothered by Patrick towering over his smaller frame. "Well, right guys, y'know." Ahmed doesn't respond, his mind filling with ideas of what might happen, that night when him and Patrick finally get to be your firsts.
Would you be scared? He'd comfort you as best he could, but Patrick wouldn't be much help with that, (though he knows Patrick can be gentle when he really wants something.) Ever the anxious mess, he can't even focus on his fantasies without worrying. He needed to get condoms, and were you on birth control? Patrick should definitely get tested first, who knows what he's got going on. If Patrick takes you first, what should he do? He's content to sit in the corner and play with himself, but he know's Patrick would only make fun of him for 'not getting any'. A final thought strikes him. Would he be jealous? Would you like Patrick better? You've known him longer, and he's definitely more popular. He's pretty, whereas Ahmed is skinny and feral-looking. He's drawn out of his panic by the sound of a zipper.
"Whatcha thinkin' bout, 'Mhed?" Patrick asks. He can tell when his little freak-friend is spiraling. "You wanna touch her, huh?" Ahmed nods. He can feel the rough, calloused hands of Patrick palming his cock through his boxers. He shudders. "So much. I want... god, can I take her first?" Ahmed begs, gasping as Patrick pulls down his waistband, letting his cock stick out. Patrick gently rubs his thumb on Ahmed's tip, collecting a bead of pre-cum. "Maybe. You still' passing science?" Ahmed furrows his brow at the odd question. Why was Patrick asking about classes while he jerks him off over your sleeping form. "Yeah, I'm doing p-pretty well in all my classes..." He replies. He tosses his head back into Patrick's shoulder as the strong delinquent begins to stroke his length with quick, tight strokes. Patrick's free arm wraps around Ahmed's stomach, pinning the boy's back to his broad chest. "Gimme your notes for all your classes then. If you're good for me, n' keep proving you're worth something-" Another harsh stroke. Ahmed is on the verge. "Then maybe I'll let you be the one to break in her sweet little hole." Ropes of white, hot cum spill from Ahmed's cock as he cries out, before quickly biting his lip to try and silence himself. If you woke up now, there would be no way him and Patrick could make an excuse to get out of this. Just the thought of being your first leaves Ahmed so emotional that as his cock twitches in pleasure, he can feel himself tearing up.
"Are you fucking crying?" Patrick presses his lips to Ahmed's cheek, getting a taste. "You get jerked off one time thinking about our pretty girl and you fuckin' cry. Maybe you aren't ready to be her first." Ahmed gags, and turns around. He moves his arms, frantically whispering, begging. "No, no! I won't cry then, I'll be good. I'll make her feel good, please. I- I've gotta be her first, you don't-" Patrick shushes him. "You've got a long way to go. I think you and I will have to practice some more, making sure you last longer than you did just now." Patrick leans to the side, taking in the sight of your nude torso now decorated with Ahmed's cum. He grins. "Alright, here's the deal. You take some photos real quick, make sure we can see the pretty paint-job you gave her." Ahmed blushes as Patrick stands. "Where are you going?"
"Gotta go get some wipes, and I gotta be quick about it."
#yandere#yandere oc#tw.dark content#tw.yandere#yandere fanfiction#yandere content#x reader#yandere boy#yandere bully#yandere freak#oc ahmed#oc patrick#tw.noncon#tw.corruption#tw.somnophilia
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not a request but i just wanna get an idea that i absolutely MUST get out of my brain before it consumes my entire being. So, your “get off my screen series”. You know that trend where ppl put that one vox vid of his face on their tv and put like hus hat and/or body attached to the tv. Imagine vox somehow finds a way to do that and y/n just does this.
THATS IT LMAO ABSOLUTELY LOVE AND ADORE YOUR SERIES. ANYTIME I SEE IT’S UPDATED IT MAKES MY DAY<3
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Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader
A/N: With how many ideas you guys have at this point I might just continue to write short scenarios for this AU with all the ideas you guys are giving me- it's absolutely amazing seeing what y'all come up with and I'm just living for it hahahaha! Thank you guys so much!
The week you had was... interesting to say the least.
Vox had challenged you to at least take up basic programming, claiming you were too impatient to learn.
So you, being the persistent and stubborn you-
Decided to prove him wrong.
Besides, it can't be that bad if he knows how to do it.
You wouldn't tell him because it'd probably make him butthurt-
But you were sure Vox was 1000% more impatient than you.
You took up computer science for extra credit, quickly learning the ins and outs of basic coding.
It was just a world of syntax and numbers but you definitely found it fun.
And useful too-
Especially when you wanted to explicitly screw with others.
Vox may or may not have slightly taught you how to hack.
But you weren't using it for anything bad!
Just to change the final grade of some asshole students so they'd have to repeat the class.
That's what they get for just randomly tripping you in the hall the other day.
Vox was slightly proud but also kind of concerned-
You'd definitely end up where he was at this rate.
Thankfully though, you decided not to do anything too crazy since.
Instead you've been messing around on your devices alongside the tech overlord.
From practicing how to send him encrypted messages-
To straight up just shitposting all over his monitors.
It's not so fun now is it Voxxy?
You would sometimes try to transfer him around to other devices that weren't your own to see if he could actually do anything.
Well, he could- but it only worked if he was directly connected to it.
Meaning he had to be plugged in.
How he was able to connect to all your devices wirelessly without limitation?
Neither of you had a clue.
You both first tested it on your best friend's phone, only for Vox to immediately go back to your computer and blow up your notifications.
"Nope nope nope nope, that's the last time I let you plug me into some random fucking phone-"
"What?? What happened??? And it's not random, it's (Friend Name)'s Phone."
"Dollface, you know Valentino right? The one I told you about?"
"The pornstar? What about?"
You didn't exactly like where this conversation was going.
You had an inkling where it would end and you were already cringing.
"Yeeaaaah, I've known him for quite some time so I would think I've seen nearly everything."
"Get to the point Vox-"
"And yet I am somehow utterly disgusted by your friend's search history."
"Yeah, uh... I'd rather you don't tell me."
"I figured. Though it makes me curious about what yours looks like."
That gave you pause, given how Vox had practically invaded your entire computer-
Hell, he even gave your files a new sorting system-
You were surprised he hadn't gone through your search history.
Of all the things you'd think that was what he'd ransack first.
"You haven't checked my search history yet?"
"Why would I? It's not like I'm trying to find your secret porn stash or something."
"Bruh, why would I even have that."
"Your friend had one, I just guessed."
"Touché."
You were a little touched that Vox cared about you enough not to really dig into your secrets.
Or well, the things you wanted to keep secret.
For a big bad overlord, he was kind of a sweetheart.
"Okay now I definitely wanna see what you've got hidden in there-"
"FUCK OFF YOU STUPID OLD PICTUREBOX-"
"YOU CAN'T STOP ME BITCH-"
You know what, you retracted your previous statement.
He's a fucking jerk.
Vox quickly dug through your search history while the tiny desktop companion in his likeness refused to give you control over the cursor.
You couldn't stop him even if you tried.
His phone blew up from notifications with you cursing at him or just calling him names.
He just laughed at your dismay and continued to dig through.
Okay- wow.
While he didn't initially expect it from you, Vox reckoned he probably should've.
Much like how people had celebrity crushes, he figured you would have your own.
It just so happened that it wasn't a celebrity and it was a fictional character instead.
He kind of felt like someone slapped him in the face actually, even if he didn't know why.
"Soooooo- (Favorite Character Name) huh?"
"Shaddup-"
"This? This is your type???"
"IT'S A FICTIONAL CRUSH GET OVER IT-"
While you were practically steaming from the ears in embarrassment, Vox was just laughing and dealing with his mixed feelings.
On one hand, he found your reactions absolutely entertaining and hilarious.
On the other hand, he didn't even know who or what this character was and he already disliked them.
Just a gut feeling.
He continued to tease you for it though, bringing up more cringe parts of your search history much to your chagrin.
It wasn't really anything bad that you couldn't take, it was just so embarrassing that you'd rather he didn't dig any of it up.
So in the heat of the moment, wanting to get Vox off your computer- you plugged it into the only other active device he wasn't connected.
Your TV.
It was nearly instant, he went from teasing and texting to you to a befuddled face on the larger screen.
But what was more surprising, was he could actually see you this time.
It wasn't filtered over with static like when he'd first met you.
The live feed even had audio, which was just entirely unexpected too.
Who knew, plug a TV demon into his specific medium and he could actually operate properly?
But that's how you guys ended up figuring out how to connect his digital presence to your TV.
By entire surprise and from just fucking around.
"Oh my god that worked-"
"(Y/N)? Holy hell! I can actually see you!"
"I did not think that would work-"
"Wow, are you really that short or is your TV just perched up that high?"
You just flipped him the bird and Vox laughed at you again.
Though, you couldn't help but smile because of it.
Well, at least now he could converse with you "properly" like he'd wanted to for a while.
Even if it did mean he'd need to take up your entire TV.
"Oh- OH WAIT- I've got an idea!"
Vox couldn't even question what you were doing before you ran out of the room and out of his sight.
So while waiting, he took a gander at the room you left him in.
It became abundantly clear that this was your living space too.
From the colors to the patterns, Vox smiled fondly as he recalled your old conversations where you would just tell him things about the things you liked.
Yeah, he could definitely see your touch in how the room was designed.
He raised an eyebrow when you giddily came back into the room with some colored paper, scissors and tape.
What-?
"Okay Doll, just what are you planning?"
"You'll see~!"
Your excitement kept him curious.
What were you drawing over there?
Weird timing for an arts and crafts project if you asked him.
It was only until you approached him and taped something to the screen did he actually grow confused.
He couldn't see what you did despite you doubling over in laughter.
What could've possibly been so funny that had you keeling from it?
By the time you could finally look at Vox without laughing your ass off, you used your phone to take a picture of how he looked.
Approaching the TV to show him just so he could see the photo as well.
Ah.
So that's what you found so funny.
You'd fashioned his outfit-
Poorly made but still recognizable-
Out of paper and taped it to the screen.
His hat on top and his suit dangling off the bottom.
Admittedly, it looked downright silly.
Especially with the proportions being so off thanks to the size of the TV screen.
"Haha, very funny (Y/N). Very funny."
"I'm making this shit my wallpaper, you look so goofy."
Vox just playfully rolled his eyes at you with a smile.
If that was seriously all it took to make you laugh?
He'd do it again no questions asked.
Taking a peek at his internal clock though, he held back his disappointment that he had to leave when you were on such an elated high.
"Sorry to cut this short doll, but I need to disconnect. I've got a meeting in a few minutes."
"Hm? Then go and do what you need to do, I can always just plug you back in later. Good luck!"
The overlord chuckled when you raised a hand to pat the screen, he couldn't feel it but he wished he did.
"I don't need luck, but... thanks. See you."
"See you."
And just like that the screen fizzled out and returned to the smart TV homepage.
You'd sent the picture to Vox through your chats and he replied with a TV emoticon.
You giggled, course he would do that.
At least he didn't take offense to what you did-
Despite your poor art skills-
Maybe he found it as entertaining as you did?
Whatever, you switched the wallpaper on your phone to the new photo you had of Vox and laughed.
His confused expression really sealed the deal with how silly the picture was.
But imagine your surprise come morning when you realized he didn't switch the wallpaper back to his trademark grin.
You sort of expected him to, especially given that he'd done so with all your past attempts to change your wallpaper.
The fact he left it alone made you smile.
And as the day began and Vox left you a morning greeting-
You just shot him one back and got up to prepare for the day.
You figured the day would be just fine.
Yeah, you guys would be just fine.
A/N: Ooough this was a long one but I had a lot of fun writing it! I'll post the masterlist afterwards when I grab all the links to the posts and I'll just be continuing the other interludes before I post the chapter with Reader's death. Either way, I hope you guys enjoyed this one!
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin vox#vox#vox x reader#hazbin hotel vox x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin vox x reader#vox x you#Get Off My Screen Series
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Hi I’m sorry if this is too silly a request, but can you do savannaclaw and octavinelle (separately) x reader who has really soft cheeks and how they find out about their soft cheeks + what they do with this knowledge? Thank you! <3
Yup!
And if you haven't noticed, I quit colour-coding names and pronouns simply because I'm lazy
And this is my first time writing Ruggie and Jack so, please forgive me if they're bad 😭
The Reader is Yuu and is gender neutral
@nisobird because Azul is in this
Warnings ;; None
Relationship ;; Romantic
Type ;; Headcanons
OCTAVINELLE
Azul Ashengrotto ;; Octavinelle Housewarden ;; Second Year
Azul would more than likely find out during his overblot, although he wouldn't much care or notice it at the time.
With his magic, you'd get thrown to the ground and your cheek would squish up against the hard floor.
Upon returning to his normal self, his immediate reaction would be to run to you and tilt your face up toward him.
Despite still being in shock over what happened to him, he remembered how your cheeks squished up against the floor.
Despite how your cheeks don't look squishy, they are, and Azul takes total advantage of this.
After finding this out, he kisses your cheeks much more often.
Jade Leech ;; Octavinelle Vice-Housewarden ;; Second Year
Jade would've found out through his job at the Lounge
You'd more than likely bump into him and end up squishing your cheek against his back or his chest.
Upon learning this information, he'd be similar to Floyd in terms of reaction.
No matter who's around, what's going on, if it suits his needs, he'll randomly squish and your cheeks and give a light chuckle at your facial expression.
Floyd Leech ;; Octavinelle ;; Second Year
Floyd would more than likely find out from a normal squeeze.
He'd squeeze you, and because he's so tall, he'd feel your cheek squish against either, his own, or his chest.
He can and he will use this against you.
I would run if I were you.
He is not afraid to just randomly bite your cheeks, especially in front of people.
Your cheeks are like stress toys for him and don't even ask why.
He'll come running up to you while on break and just squish at your cheeks, he will not care who's around.
SAVANACLAW
Leona Kingscholar ;; Savanaclaw Housewarden ;; Third Year
Leona would most likely find out during a nap.
You'd try to wake him up and he'd try to swat you away, lightly smacking your cheek in the process.
After that, he immediately sat up before pulling you onto his lap.
He'd mess with your cheeks for a solid five minutes before laying back down and taking you with him.
It honestly took him by surprise, because your cheeks looked nowhere near as soft and squishy as they were.
Of course, he never actually made this known, simply laying back and going back to sleep with you in his lap.
Ruggie Bucchi ;; Savanaclaw ;; Second Year
Ruggie would have found out through a simple dare.
Using his signature spell on you and pinching his cheeks, and in return, making you pinch your own.
Ruggie would've immediately released the spell before taking your cheeks in between his pointer fingers and thumbs.
Just like the others, it took him by surprise.
And he will use it against you to get doughnuts, even though it's nothing to "use against you"
Jack Howl ;; Savanaclaw ;; First Year
Jack would more than likely find out through someone else.
He's very respectful of your boundaries and wouldn't ever want to cross them.
So when he sees Ace or Deuce squish at your cheeks, he asks you why.
You explain to him that your cheeks are just naturally soft and squishy, and that you really don't mind it.
Jack would nod and completely understand.
But even knowing this situation, he still wouldn't even touch you unless he had your firm, verbal permission.
#twst wonderland#twistedwonderland#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#octavinelle x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#ruggie bucchi x reader#jack howl x reader#savanaclaw x reader#asks#anon ask#romantic x reader#x reader#anon
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Radqueers are a cult.
I am a cult survivor, I have been one far before I was in the radqueer community. As a cult survivor, the radqueer community IS a cult. If you've never been in the community, and have only been an outside observer, it's understandable that you wouldn't realize this, but claiming radqueers are "just assholes" is a slap in the face to people like me who have been permanently traumatized by them.
Here is a commonly used model of how cults work:
If you go through every single point in this, the radqueer community checks almost every one of them. People have already pointed this out many times before, however I will explain it again for people who haven't seen those posts.
(Skipping over ones that don't fully apply or that I haven't personally experienced. Most of these are pretty brief because I don't think anyone will read an entire essay for every point)
Rigid rules - radqueers force you to include everyone and everything, and never question what you're accepting lest you get labeled as "not a real radqueer" and harassed. You must accept any and all predatory relationships, or you'll receive the same treatment as "antis". If that isn't "rigid rules", I don't know what is.
Rewards and punishments - you coin a term people like, or make an "I love pro-cs" post? Everyone likes you, praises you, sends you asks telling you how amazing you are! You dare to question anything about the community? You get cast out, banned from servers, harassed, sent death threats, and doxxed.
Dependence and obedience - radqueers make their victims believe that this is the only community that will accept them. They say that every other community will hate them for their identity, and this is the only "real radinclus" community. This causes people to feel trapped there, or in other words become entirely dependent on the community for validation and support. They convince people that if they leave, or do anything wrong that causes them to be forced out, they'll have nowhere to go. This forces them into obedience for fear of being left all alone and being completely abandoned.
Deception - this one is very, very obvious. There's a reason why radqueers label themselves as "radically inclusive", "pro-consent", "pro-bodily autonomy" - they are not just saying these things because they don't understand what they mean. They're intentionally using uplifting, inclusive language that sounds really great and supportive to deceive people into joining them. This is also why they use emoji codes, so other radqueers will recognize them but people who don't know what radqueers are will be lured into their trap.
Propaganda - pretty similar to the above. They label everything as "radical inclusion" and tell people that they have to support all these things to be "truly inclusive". They make cute flags and emoji codes to make grooming, abuse, racism, ableism, and transphobia seem cool and fun, to further lead people into their trap. By definition, propaganda is "information, especially of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view". All these cutesy emojis, symbols, flags, and terms are propaganda.
Discourages access to outside sources of information - radqueers constantly say that all science, psychology, and medical information is "biased" and "bigoted". If you provide them with any information on how what they're doing is wrong, they pull out any number of excuses and then tell their "friends" how bigoted and exclusionist the source is. This makes it seem like radqueers are the only reliable source of information, and anything else is untrustworthy.
Insider/outsider doctrine - this is painfully clear with how they refer to everyone who disagrees with them as "antis". Even if you're just an outside observer, you pick up on this quickly.
All/nothing, good/evil, us/them dogma - once again, they refer to anyone who differs even slightly in opinion as an "anti" or "anti in training", and the second anyone decides to question why they're literally supporting nazis and blackface, they get labeled as an "anti" and "horrible person". They play the victim any time they get told that what they're doing is wrong, while crying and complaining about how much they're harassed and about how "mean" and "rude" anti-radqueers are.
Feeling chosen or special - radqueers very obviously convince themselves that they're so unique and special, which is why terms like transship or transhasapetcat exist. They want to seem really cool and special, and make completely normal things into obscure, "special" identities, like calling yourself translivesintheuk instead of just saying you wanna move to the UK. As someone who's been in their servers, they hoard identities like this because it makes them feel temporarily special and unique, which makes them convinced that what they're doing is right.
Guilt/manipulation - radqueers do this all the time. When someone says they aren't sure if they support something or not, radqueers immediately get all teary-eyed and upset, claiming that the person would be "basically an anti" if they decided not to support it. I've even seem someone cry and complain over being rejected by an anti-transnazi radqueer and claim that it was "ableist" that the person rejected them. Everyone defended and comforted the person who was rejected, immediately siding with them for fear of being "ableist", saying that it was wrong to be against literal nazis. This is very clear manipulation and guilt-tripping.
Phobia indoctrination - phobia indoctrination is where people in the cult make others terrified of leaving for fear of being hurt, killed, etc. As I've explained earlier, radqueers try to scare people into staying by saying that if they leave the community, no one will ever support or love them, and they'll never be accepted outside of it. People who went into the radqueer community after being anti-radqueer know firsthand how awful the harassment, doxxing, and death threats from radqueers are. People in the community who have doubts are very clearly too scared to leave, and people who don't have doubts have been convinced that no one will ever love them except for radqueers.
Anyways, I hope that this clears up how the radqueer community is a cult! Feel free to add on with your own experiences or additions, and please stop invalidating and shaming survivors.
#anti radqueer#anti transabled#anti transid#anti transage#anti trace#anti transx#former radqueer#anti transautistic#ex radqueer#tw discourse#tw cult
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Sweetest Revenge
"I can't believe this, shit!" I thought to myself as I watched Janis put Lard into some empty face cream container. They planned for Cady to give the false face cream to Regina. It was all a part of their master plan ever since Cady saw Aaron and Regina kiss.
Now don't get me wrong I also despise Regina in the slightest bit because I had the same interaction that Janis did with her but with me it was different. We were actually dating in secret for a little while before we settled on just being friends.
But one day I met someone new and we started dating. Regina publicly humiliated me and her, forcing her to move states after a few weeks of long distance dating she finally cut ties with me all because of my crazy ex.
Of course I didn't tell Janis and Damian about this. But after finding out about Janis situation I guess we just clicked. So yeah, I hated Regina but what they were doing was just wrong and I know exactly how Regina will take this and kindly isn't an option.
"Guys don't you think this is a little extreme. I mean come on Aaron is her ex so what if she still likes him?" I tried to reason as Janis continued filling the container. "Are you crazy, y/n? We all know Regina only kissed Aaron because she's spiteful and bitchy like that. She's knit picking at Cady." Janis said with a scoff.
I sighed softly "Ok, I get it we hate Regina but why ruin her high school life like this?" I asked for an exact reason, trying to shut down their plans knowing it would only back fire. "Like she ruined middle school for me and currently is ruining high school for us?!" Janis said as she put the lid on the container and handed it to Cady.
I looked at Damian for help but all he did was slide the glasses into his eyes. I rolled my eyes and slouched in my seat "You haven't been tortured by her like I have y/n. It's finally time for me to get back. So it's either you're in or out with the plan." Janis shrugged carelessly.
"And if I'm not in?" I asked "Then you can leave." Janis stated. I looked at her bewildered and scoffed at how careless she was to toss me to the side just so she could get back at Regina.
I stood up from the sofa and stormed out. I wasn't gonna just allow them to do this. I couldn't. Especially knowing that it could all backfire. Sure, Regina's spiteful and bitchy, but she always uses that to her advantage.
And they don't know just how those two words work in cahoots with each other. It makes her vengeful and when she's vengeful she does the unthinkable.
I stood at my locker watching as Cady took out a Kalteen bar from her locker. "Is she seriously planning on giving one to Regina?!" I frowned as I recalled the moment when she told us that they were used for gaining weight.
I have two options right now. I could either warn Regina that Cady was not the innocent new foreign kid that she thought she could embarrass easily or I could do this by myself on my own timing.
Since I cut off all conversation when Regina tried talking to me after my breakup other then our usual butchy remarks toward eachother. It would be weird to suddenly be friendly and just warn her. She would obviously think I'm lying so I decided to just do it undercover.
I watched as Cady closed her locker but then re-opened it, obviously forgetting something. I watched her put in the code to her locker intently. '6-3-5-3'. I watched as she slid the facial cream container out of her jacket and into the locker.
I continued to watch as she walked away with a smile on her face. When she was out of the clear I walked over to her locker and put in the code. I swapped out the facial cream with the same brand container but it contained the actual included contents.
I closed the locker and walked away like nothing happened. I walked down the hall and noticed Cady at the candy gram set up. After she left I made my way towards the girl sitting at the gram setup "Can I see that candy cane?" I asked.
The girl shrugged and handed me the candy cane. I read the paper and it was just as I suspected. Cady was faking as if she was given a gram by Regina. "One candy gram please." I asked as I handed the girl the gram back.
I didn't know who she was planning to tick off with the gram but I'm taking a wild guess and saying Gretchen she's the only one that could possibly tick off. So I wrote a candy gram out Gretchen acting as if it was from Regina 'To Gretchen the truest of true friends, XoXo bestie.' I wrote on the paper.
I handed it to the girl and walked off. Jesus this might be a lot harder than I thought it would be.
I walked into the cafeteria and noticed Regina snatching a Kalteen bar from Cady's hand, looking at it in amazement. Cady must've told her it's for weight loss. I couldn't do anything about it because Cady was right there so I just sat down at my usual table.
After finishing my lunch. I continued on my merry way and walked past Janis and Damian who glared at me. It was obvious they knew what I was up to but it was all a part of the plan. My plan.
Fuck, everything was going so wrong. Regina just busted her ass on stage because of the weight she's been gaining from the Kalteen bars. A lot of people had their phones out and were recording.
I got up for my seat and ran to close the curtains. I knew it was probably too late as I listened to all the laughs from down below and watched all the flashing lights go off.
I sighed before heading to leave the auditorium. Maybe everything will be fine tomorrow....
#regina george#regina george x reader#mean girls#cady heron#janis imi'ike#gretchen wieners#karen shetty#x reader
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How to write 911 characters: Black women
since its black history month, here's how to write Athena, Hen, and Karen. I want to do this because I see really offensive things in fanfic when people write them and that usually goes unnoticed.
Athena:
✨ reference the source material (for everyone actually) ✨
Athena is a very kind and affectionate person with her friends, she's a great listener and always willing to help others out. She's stubborn when it comes to herself and taking breaks. She's a great mom and partner, though conflict has arisen when it comes to letting people in.
2. her relationship with Buck is not necessarily motherly. If you like to write her that way, it's your story but be careful you aren't falling into the mammy trope.
that would include, treating buck as though he's a child that needs protection from everyone, a cartoonish fondness and exaggerative movements, mainly as a character just to prop up Buck.
3. do not write her speaking voice different from the rest of the characters. I've seen things like: "A' course sugah!" Not only is that inaccurate, it's inappropriate.
4. Athena's relationship with being a cop, being in an interracial relationship, and being previously married to a gay black man are all very complex issues in the black community that require research before speaking on. I haven't seen people ever go in depth with this in fics but the show can only encapsulate so much about it without offending viewers so if you'd like to be more candid, please take the necessary steps.
Hen and Karen:
✨black queer love, especially wlw, isn't just to support your main ship please appreciate them ✨
hen is very driven, very caring, very intuitive. She's always been a listening ear for others, and finds comfort in her friends' advice. She's a great parent and a great partner.
Her relationship with Chimney can be silly, serious, protective, and everything you need in a best friend. They both look out for each other and aren't afraid to call out bs. Her relationship with Athena is also really great and balanced.
Hen can be a older sister to Buck, but it's a lot more light hearted. They also can be idiots together and Buck holds a lot of respect for her. Again, do not reduce her to this, that will be insensitive.
While we don't see Karen a lot, you see how much she cares about her family, how she does trust Hen but has been concerned about losing her loved ones. She's a brilliant woman and she often hangs out with Athena and has been friends with Chimney before she was with Hen.
again do not write any of their speaking voices differently. most of the time, Hen code switches and rarely uses any slang so stay away from that.
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I wasn't able to watch Quackity's stream just now but from what I'm getting, it's a really unfortunate development
Basically that Quackity is stepping away from the QSMP for a bit and leaving the Administration of it to other people due to fear for his personal safety, and this next part might be slightly unrelated, but it's something I've been kinda wanting to say for a bit, and this gives me a good chance to do it
I remember a lot of people wondering why Admins had to stay anonymous to the public and this sort of thing is why. If experienced streamers, who are used to dealing with this sort of thing, are going through this, imagine what could have happened to the Admins if people found out who they were
Like imagine we knew exactly who was behind the Code attacks that killed Bobby, Tallulah, or Dapper. You really think people wouldn't have dog-piled on them because they killed their favorite Egg?? Imagine people knew who Leo or Sunny's admins were during all their "drama." People were already crossing boundaries before they knew who the admins were, and I don't think it would have gone well if that information were out in the open at the time
To me, it didn't seem like a good idea to throw people who were inexperienced with this into the spotlight like that. And THIS is why. People are still dog-piling on anyone they think is the problem, and that isn't okay. Quackity just talked about how scared he was for his actual personal safety, and that's not okay. People get the smallest scrap of information and latch onto it like it's gospel, and things like this happen. It's why I haven't even made a post about some recent developments, because I know a lot of what's being spread is speculation, and I don't like to spread around things I don't have concrete information on. Maybe if CERTAIN things were more open, this all wouldn't have been as big a problem, but the fact that this is the end result kinda makes their privacy more understandable
Because this is the kind of thing it leads to. Everyone demands every bit of information, pressuring people to the point that they just want to do SOMETHING to get people off their backs even a little bit. As far as I know, Lea DID NOT mean to leak that kind of information, but she was being bombarded for information, and just tried to provide some evidence for what she was saying, and probably didn't realize that it could lead to this (That's if the information I have on that is correct, that she basically leaked a payment document that had Quackity's full legal name, and that's how people managed to track down his information. If this isn't correct, please let me know, I haven't seen enough information on it to verify 100%)
(And I wanna say that this isn't me excusing the fact that the Admins couldn't talk to each other or the CCs when it was relevant to the server. That sort of thing is a textbook manipulation tactic from bosses who want to take advantage of their workers and using the lack of information as a weapon to that end)
I said before that I NEVER expected concrete updates about everything, just hoped for acknowledgements that things were still happening at all. Because the fact that streamers are in the public eye doesn't mean everything they do needs to be public knowledge. People online love to criticize paparazzi for constantly bombarding celebrities and invading their personal lives, but this is starting to feel startlingly similar, and I don't like that. Yes, the people involved should have that information, but we should not
I really hope people manage to stay safe through all this, including Quackity and each and every Admin/Ex-Admin that's been at the center of this. There are some things going around them that I don't agree with, but that doesn't mean I wish harm on them for it. That's the magical thing about the internet. You can just not interact with people you don't agree with, and I really wish some people would remember that. Especially over on Twitter. Because Holy Shit
Anyways, that's about all I have for now, probably won't be too active for a bit still because of IRL stuff, but I'm still here. Watching
WATCHING YOU ALL
**Okay Edit I didn't know this but
I actually didn't know Leo's admin was public at the time, but considering that, I guess it's not too widespread. So while it seemed to be alright, it could've gone a lot worse if that Admin was more well-known. Or if Sunny's was known at all. Either way, thanks for the clarification!!
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For the ask game: common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about?
[ask meme]
8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
I...actually get frustrated with the infantilization and/or demonization of characters that could be read as autistic, because it happens so often and there's such a lack of self-awareness when people do it. If one person headcanons it, a bunch of other people pile on, and before you know it, your character is being treated like someone else entirely - and unfairly so.
Let's take the most obvious example and the reason I don't engage with fandom much:
I am so tired of what fandom at large has done to Emmet since 2010. He's been infantilized since day one, often being portrayed as needing Ingo to take care of him or otherwise be his brother's keeper. He's also been turned into a violent, 'unhinged' stereotype since day one. Neither of these things are new. They've been happening since the release of the games. Neither of them have any basis in his canon characterization - a competent railroad employee who's a goofball but simultaneously responsible and always puts safety first.
I was hoping people had moved past that the way they moved past Blankshipping (though some people still do this, too, EW), but it seems like they haven't. Emmet is still either a helpless child or a serial killer waiting to happen to so many of these people, and as someone who actually felt so validated and seen the first time she discovered Ingo and Emmet, it hurts so deeply.
In real life, I'm also infantilized. I turn 35 this year and have a Master’s degree and work a big grown-up adult archivist job and live outside my parents' house, but because I'm neurodivergent and short, I'm frequently assumed to be and am treated like a teenager way more often than you'd reasonably expect. It's incredibly frustrating to constantly be treated like an innocent child because you don't meet neurotypical benchmarks of adulthood the way they want you to or because of the way you carry yourself or enjoy things. But at the same time, people shy away from me because I'm "too intense" about the things I care about.
Sound familiar?
Fandom was, when I was a younger girl, a place where neurodivergent people (especially autistic and ADHD people) were safe from the real world not understanding, accommodating, and accepting us. We generally kept things on the down-low, since it was another thing we'd be bullied for if people knew, but for us, it was a safe space. Then people realized fandom could be commodified, and once capitalism got a hold on fandom and made it mainstream, all our bullies were suddenly in our little space again, and...well, you probably know the rest. (Yeah, they brought their ableism with them.)
I'm not saying old fandom didn't have its problems. It had a LOT of problems. But it was, altogether, a safer space for neurodivergent people to find community and themselves than it is now. Now it feels more about producing things and moving on to the next big thing to produce more "content" to keep engagement instead of an actual community of nerdy, passionate people getting excited about each other's fanworks and chatting about their favorite things together.
And that reflects in how people treat autistic and autistic-coded characters now. Emmet is one example of many - look at Papyrus, or Entrapta, or numerous others.
This trend really, really fucking hurts, and I cannot stand how willingly fandom spaces just go along with it without thinking critically about it.
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Jealousy, Jealousy
Leroy Jethro Gibbs X Fem OC/Reader
Word Count: 3884
Warning: Mild Language, Fluff, Angst, Possessiveness, Jealousy…
Prompt: Gibbs pulled a stunt and you decided to get your revenge—by making him jealous…
Y/N Gibbs POV
I woke up today and had the most brilliant idea. I knew exactly how to get my husband back. I shake my head, still unable to believe that Jethro could do such a thing—especially at work!
FLASHBACK
I hum a tune as I step out of the bathroom with a big, fluffy towel wrapped around my. I found myself sifting through my work clothes when my eyes catch a silver gift bag. I grab it, pulling the card off it.
Y/N/N, be a good girl and wear this to work, will you? -Jet
I open the bag and pull out a beautiful dark red lingerie set. I was trying to think of what the occasion was and why Jethro would be giving me a gift. My heart beats with anticipation at the thought of us having sex. We haven't done anything intimate for weeks besides a quick kiss here and there. We've both put our focus on work and we've come home, immediately crashing is bed.
I drop the towel, sliding on the lingerie set and hum in approval. I loved the feeling of lingerie against my skin. Something about it made me feel confident and sexy. I go back to my dresser and pull on a baggy pair of black cargo pants. I pull on a white baggy t-shirt and a black blazer.
Jethro was possessive and I loved it. I joined the team seven years ago and I may be the baby of the team, slightly younger than Ziva, Tim and Tony, but I worked my ass off. I was the "heart" of the team as they put it. I was a profound profiler and negotiator. We all were great investigators, but I also brought our little team closer together.
When I first joined, I could give a care less about the dress code. Some days, I'd follow it, but my clothes were snug to my figure. I was confident and didn't mind showing a bit more cleavage than needed. Some days, I liked to wear short skater skirts like Abby, to show off my legs. I'd show the occasional stomach here and there.
But, I enjoyed the way Jethro's eyes would roam over me. I chuckle, thinking about the day he asked me over to his house. It was our first kiss and our first time together. We were friends with benefits briefly before I had enough and outed how I felt. Then we dated before marrying. All of which I stopped dressing the way I use to, noticing how possessive he got over me once we were officially together. He's a man who gets jealous easy, not appreciating others staring at "his woman" as he puts it.
I leave my red hair down, grabbing my bag before leaving our home. It was time for work and it seems Jethro left me to sleep in. I was thankful and disappointed. I knew I needed the sleep, but I also enjoy our car rides to work together. I can't remember the last time I drove to work on my own.
It was a quiet drive, mostly filled with humming before I hum my way into the building and up to the bullpen. I saw the FBI here and roll my eyes. Oh, what a case this will be.
"Hon, we are working alongside the FBI on this case. Show them the conference room." Jethro says.
"Well, good morning to you as well husband. Yeah, my morning has been wonderful, thanks for asking. Oh, how's yours? Wonderful too. It was strange coming into work without you. Oh, and I got your gift. And yes, I listened. Oh, your tired of my rambling. Right, don't forget I'm your wife, Jet. Agents, follow me." I say, mocking at Jethro.
He had a small amused smile on his face. I was slightly moody he was acting strange with me today. I lead the agents away, ignoring Tony's grin at my one-on-one conversation with myself.
I leave the Agents to set up and head back to my desk. I could feel his eyes on me and I glance up, meeting those piercing blue eyes. I quirk a brow.
"Yes, Jethro?" I ask.
"Wondering if you woke up on the wrong side of the bed." He murmurs, smirking slightly.
"Asshole! You didn't even say good morning, we didn't ride together, I haven't even had a good morning kiss or hug, I haven't had coffee nor breakfast, and the first thing you do when you see me is put me to work." I hiss and he snorts.
"I think you woke up with your hair on fire, hon." He says.
I clench my jaw, narrowing my eyes at him. I shake my head as the elevators open and Fornell walks off.
"Y/N! Any chance your divorcing Jethro yet?" Fornell asks with a grin.
"I might just be his fifth ex-wife after this morning!" You tease, sending a glare at a grumpy Jethro who was glaring daggers at the both of you.
Fornell talks to Gibbs, but your eyes widen as you bite your tongue to silence any noise from you as you clench your thighs at the sudden vibrations you felt. It clicked. The lingerie bottoms weren't an ordinary bottoms. They were meant for teasing. In your case, punishment. You glare up at Jethro who's lips twitches as he amps it up higher. You nearly jumped out of your chair, trying to suppress the moan.
END OF FLASHBACK
Oh, how he pushed the wrong buttons. He had left earlier once again much to my displeasure, but today was the day to get him back. Make him jealous and then make him have the bluest balls he's ever going to have.
I walk out of the bathroom, dropping the towel. I put on a lingerie set. I grab my black skirt that ended at mid-thigh—and that’s if I was being generous on that.
It was tight, hugging my ass and my legs. It really brought out my legs and I grin. It has a little slit, but it was cute. Not to mention the designer belt I add to it—a gift from Jethro. I had been talking about it with Abby for months and he got it as a birthday present.
I grab a white top that was like a tank-top with the wider straps. It was clinging to my body, the deep plunge neckline showed off more cleave than I've shown in years. A little bit of my belly was peaking through and I grin. Perfect. I slide on a black blazer before grabbing my black high heels.
This was going to be perfect.
I go to the bathroom, brushing my wavy red hair. I go for a slightly edgy, but neutral makeup look with a slightly dark red lipstick.
I hum, grabbing my purse and begin making my way to the Navy yard. I decided a pit stop was necessary and I grabbed drinks for the team. I get there and decided to go to Autopsy where I leave their drinks on the table as they were out getting a body. I leave a little note, humming as I head back to the elevator and head to Abby's lab.
She had her music going and I walk in, as she spins, she sees me. She turns the music off and looks at me in awe.
"You look so pretty!" She exclaims.
"Thank you, Abs! I brought you a gift." I say, handing her Caf-Pow.
"Your the best! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" She exclaims and I chuckle.
"Of course." I say.
I head to the elevator, feeling slightly nervous for Jethro's reaction. I walk off the elevator and Tony whistles.
"I brought you a coffee with loads of cream and sugar." I say, winking at him and he grins.
"Thanks!" He says.
I head to Ziva, pulling a tea free.
"A tea for you, it was a new one on the menu I thought you'd like to try." I say.
"Thank you, Y/N/N. You look gorgeous by the way." She says, smirking slightly and I smile.
"Thanks, Ziva. I felt like dressing up a bit today. I felt like I deserved it after the hell Jethro put my through last week." I say.
"Fornell can be a real pain in the ass." She chuckles and I grin.
"That he can be." I say, even though that wasn't what I was referring too.
I walk to McGee, handing him a black coffee which he quietly thanks me for as he is on the phone. I walk to Jethro, handing him a coffee.
"My office." He grumbles.
"Oh, Jethro. Take that stick out of your ass. Who's looking anyway. It's an outfit and it's cute." I say.
He was silent, staring at me with dark, narrowed blue eyes. I could see the lust in them just as I could see the possessiveness in them...the jealousy coming to the surface.
I turn, walking to my desk, throwing the carton away once I pulled my coffee free. I hum softly as the elevator doors open.
"Fornell! If you like us so much, come join the team!" I say, winking at him.
"FBI is more my forte...although, your always welcome to join my team." He says, his eyes on my chest.
Jethro clears his throat and I look at him to see him glaring daggers at Fornell.
"Eyes off my wife, Fornell." He warns.
That sent a strange sensation to my core. I knew why and I was eager for the day to go on, wanting to press more buttons.
"I don't know how you managed to settle down with this grumpy bastard, Y/N." Fornell says and I giggle, rolling my eyes.
"Y/N, my office. Now." Jethro snaps, standing up as he storms towards the elevator.
I grin which stopped the team from looking so concerned. It was their turn to chuckle.
"You planned this out." Tony says.
"That I did. Revenge is a bitch." I say and he chuckles as I walk toward the elevator that Jethro was waiting on.
The doors close and he hits the button harshly. I purse my lips, swatting his arm.
"Easy there, macho man." I say.
"What the hell are you wearing?" He snaps, glaring down at me.
"Well this is my skirt. Look! It even has a little slit right here. It's so cute. And this top...you know that though." I say, grinning.
"I don't want people ogling my wife. I have some extra clothes of yours at my desk." He sighs.
"I'm not changing, Jet." I say.
"Why the hell not?" He asks, turning back to me.
"Because, I like this outfit. And you'd like it to if you investigated a little more." I say.
"You didn't." He grits out.
"Oh, I did. Your favorite set too." I say and I gasp as he pushes me up against a wall.
"It's one thing wearing this outfit to work, knowing men will stare, but then lingerie. Your asking for your ass to be red." He growls.
His hand twitches on my hip and I smile softly, putting my hand over it as I slide it under my skirt. His eyes were locked with mine and I make his fingers brush the lace bottoms.
"I just woke up feeling really good about today, Jet. I wanted an outfit to suit my mood and confidence." I say, shrugging.
"Your changing. I can't have you on my mind all damn day as we work a case, worrying about someone looking up your skirt." He says and I roll my eyes.
I push him back, smoothing my outfit out.
"I'm not changing, Jet. I'm your wife, not some...dog you can control." I say.
"Your my bitch in bed, aren't you?" He says and my jaw drops.
"Leroy Jethro Gibbs! That is so crude and so...s-so unlike you!" I exclaim.
"I thought you liked it when I called you my bitch. Are you not? What happened to being daddy's whore?" He asks and I gulp.
I could feel my skin flush as my panties dampen. Maybe I didn't think this all the way through. He smirks, that stupid lopsided smirk, his eyes twinkling. He knew damn well what he was doing to me.
Two can play this game.
"Well daddy...I do like it when you call me those names. But, I'm not in the mood right now." I say.
"W-What? You just called me daddy. Your doing that thing with your eyes and you wore this outfit. You want my attention. Well, you have it." He says.
Oh, I have it alright and I'll have it the rest of the day, whilst leaving you hanging for that crap you pulled last week.
"I think your profiling skills are a bit off, hon." I say, feigning an apologetic smile.
I pat his arm before moving out from the wall and hitting the emergency stop button. He goes to hit again, but I swat his hand away and the doors open. We walk off and he grabs my wrist. I stop, looking at him.
"Please change...I'll do whatever you want." He murmurs.
"I like my outfit, Jethro." I say, pulling away and going to my desk.
"Gibbs! I brought the file you asked for!" Palmer says before all the papers fall out.
He looks at Jethro wide eyed and I stand, bending over to help. I was well aware what I was going and I heard Fornell and Tony whistle as Jethro curses and I hear his chair.
I feel him press against me from behind, a hand on my hip as he leans down behind me to grab a paper.
"Sit your ass down right now, Y/N or else I'll carry your ass out of here kicking and screaming." He warns quietly.
"I'm trying to help Palmer. Leave me alone, Jethro. Your being moody today." I say.
He grunts, but I finish picking up the papers before standing. I take the papers from Palmer as Jethro tugs my skirt down as it did ride up a bit. I walk back to my desk, working on reorganizing the papers before standing and handing it to Jethro.
I sit and Jethro soon was giving out orders when he realized Tony was alone. I stand.
"I'll go with Tony! It's been awhile since I've been out baiting a suspect." I say.
"Not dressed in that." Jethro says gruffly.
"Oh get over yourself, Jet. I look fine. Come on, Tony!" I exclaim.
"We'll be watching!" Fornell says before he grunts.
"Stop staring at my wife's ass." Jethro warns.
We all get on the elevator and I hum softly as Tony hands me the keys. The keys...to his very nice car that I've been dying to drive.
"You dressed to impress and it's a simple and quick undercover op where you get his attention. So, get his attention tigress." He says, winking at me and I grin.
I follow Tony to his car, more than eager to drive his baby. I glance at Jethro to see his brooding face and fiery eyes. I knew he was growing more pissed off. My eyes were on his slightly growing bulge.
The drive to the nice bar was short. Tony and I made our way to the bar with our earpieces in.
"Look a little more like a couple." McGee says.
"Boss is going to kill me." Tony grumbles before sliding his hand from my lower back to ass.
"I'll protect you." I say.
"Will you?" Jethro's gruff voice comes through.
"If you don't want the bluest balls in history, Jethro, I'd comply a bit." I murmur, looking over the menu of drinks as Tony tries to stifle his laughter.
"I don't know what to get, babe!" I exclaim, moving so I was in front of Tony.
Our chests were pressed together, his hand on my ass and I move my hand to his. His eyes widen before going back to normal. I catch a man staring and I did a brief study before looking back up into Tony's eyes.
"Blue jeans. Hawaiian shirt. Ten o'clock." I say.
"See him." Jethro grunts.
"Why don't you get yourself a martini?" Tony asks.
"I don't like girly drinks, you know that." I say and he chuckles.
"Get her a Black Russian." Jethro says and I smile sweetly up at Tony.
"Hey, can I get a Black Russian and a bourbon over ice?" Tony asks.
I giggle as he lifts me up onto the bar, both of us level almost. I was still slightly short.
"Boss, you got to get some food in her. She's as light as a feather." Tony says.
"Oh stop!" I giggle, smacking his chest.
"Black Russian and bourbon over ice." The bartender says.
Tony hands me my drink and grabs his, both of us clinking our glasses together. He took a sip, but I down mine.
"Easy there, tigress." Tony chides.
"Give me yours." I say.
He hands me his, which solves the problem of his drink and not looking suspicious. I downed his, grinning.
"Want to go out back?" He asks.
"Does either of you have a sidearm?" Fornell questions.
"Inner thigh." I say.
"DiNozzo...if I find out that your hands go up my wife's skirt, you won't have to worry about a funeral." Jethro grunts.
"Come!" I exclaim, jumping off the bar and grabbing his hand.
We walk out the back, and I glanced back at Tony to catch the unsub following us.
"He'll be right behind us." I say.
"I ain't grabbing your sidearm. Gibbs will kill me." He says.
I reach a hand under my skirt, pulling my gun out of the holster before handing it to him which he shoved inside his jacket before he picks me up and pins me against the wall.
"Alright. Couples who drink and go to the back alley do what?" McGee asks.
I could see the eye roll. Tony looked nervous and I roll my eyes, pulling him in for a kiss. He kisses back as the backdoor opens. We pull away when we hear a click and see the unsub pointing a gun at us. Tony had my red lipstick all over his mouth and he slowly sat me down.
"Back away and give me that whore. God! Why can't you guys stop! Your constantly wrecking families. He came in here the other night with a girl. His wife." He snaps.
Ziva and Tony did go undercover the other night. For todays purposes. I reach my hand under Tony's jacket, my hand on the gun before I aim it at him.
"Only one person can call me a whore, and that's for pleasure purposes. Drop the weapon. Your coming with us." I say.
"Y/N! Didn't need to know that!" McGee groans.
"Dirty girl, for real. Jeesh. I didn't expect boss to be that way." Tony says, looking confused.
I could hear Jethro and Fornell chuckling on the other side as Ziva snickers.
"Always knew you were a dirty minded woman, Y/N/N." Ziva teases.
"He calls me other names and I call him some delightful names too." I say, grinning.
Tony cuffs the unsub who finally decided to drop his weapon. Jethro and Fornell walk out the back door and Jethro looks at me with a small smile and an amused expression.
"Really had to keep running your mouth, didn't you hon?" He asks.
"He called me a whore. I didn't like it. It's not like when you call me a whore." I tease.
"Alright. Coms off." McGee says quickly and I laugh.
Jethro puts his hand on my back and we begin walking out of the alleyway. Ziva was helping Tony wipe my lipstick off and I decided to touch up my lipstick. I hum, bobbing my head slightly.
"Hey, is she single?" I hear.
"Do you not see that man's hand on her back? And the wedding ring on her finger. She's happily married. I'd keep a distance if you don't want that man to shoot you in the ass. He's very possessive over her. And I think of her as a sister so get lost asshole." Tony snaps.
I smile, looking up at Jethro who also caught the conversation. He had a small smirk on his face and I walk away from him. Eager to get home.
I walk in, Jethro not far behind me. I walk to the kitchen, grabbing two beers. I glance up when I see him hovering in the doorway with clenched fists and an unreadable expression.
"What the hell was your problem today?" He asks.
"I have no idea what you are talking about." I say, shrugging with an innocent smile.
"The outfit. Teasing me. Flirting with people. The undercover op with Tony." He says.
"Jethro, tell me you didn't forget." I chide, walking towards him.
He watches me with those intense blue eyes and I stop in front of him, looping my arms around his neck.
"Elaborate." He demands and I huff.
"Last week. You stepped on my toes, Jet. And you thought I could let you get away with it...you thought." I say.
"Your one hell of a woman. You could of found another approach to seeking your revenge, hon. You flashed your ass today more times than I can count." He says.
"Thankfully I have a nice ass, Jethro." I say.
"My point exactly, besides I don't appreciate people staring at my woman." He says, his hands settling on my hips.
The tingles I felt were unreal. This man stirred a side I didn't know I had.
"Oh, Jethro. Green isn't your color. Who knew you could get jealous over little things." I tease.
"You are not a little thing. Your the most important part of my life. And I'm not ashamed I'm jealous. I have a smart, beautiful and feisty wife that everyone seems to want and I'm not very keen on the thought of losing you." He says.
"I love you, Jet." I murmur.
"I love you too, hon. But, get your ass upstairs. I'm going to get the coffee pot ready for tomorrow. We aren't getting much sleep tonight." He says and my heart speeds up.
"Really?" I ask excitedly.
He smirks, pulling away and walking towards the coffee pot. I push the skirt down while he's turned around pull the shirt off, left in my lingerie and heels before throwing the skirt and shirt at him.
I didn't miss the way he tensed before slowly turning to me. I grin slyly at him, loving how his eyes slowly roam over me. I loved the way they darkened and narrowed. His gaze was intense.
"Upstairs, now." He says.
"You better hurry, Jethro. I might get impatient." I tease before running out of the room.
I didn't miss his low chuckle and I knew that tonight was going to be a long one. But, I knew it was going to be a good night. It's been weeks, a few months, since we've been intimate.
#gibbs#gibbs imagine#gibbs x reader#jethro gibbs#jethro gibbs imagine#jethro gibbs x reader#leroy jethro gibbs#ncis gibbs#ncis fandom#ncis imagine#leroy jethro gibbs x reader#ncis#ncis fanfiction#ncis mcgee#ncis team#ncis tony#ncis x reader#ncis ziva#gibbs smut#ncisedit#leroy jethro gibbs imagine#ncisverse#ncis fic
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writing neutral readers; a guide
(neutral = unspecified gender, race, appearance, etc.)
hi hi here's vee, the one of (hopefully) many neutral fic writers for atsv, showing YOU how to write a neutral reader for your character x reader fic!!!!
this is mainly about romantic x reader fics!!
lil disclaimer: you don't have to write neutral readers if you don't want to! this is just for people who do and might want some advice :) all of these are what works for me — there are plenty of ways to write a neutral reader!
contents page for your sanity:
avoiding white-coding
being gender-neutral
re-direction / re-phrasing
my general thoughts and opinions
before we get started: why are neutral readers great?
inclusivity! a lot of the times it can be hard to find a fic right for you especially if they tend to be for a certain demographic
forces you to think outside of the box — you can't rely on describing the reader, so you have to describe character interactions more creatively (as you'll see me try to do a lot in this post 😭)
helps with immersion! a lot of the time overly-descriptive reader inserts can make it hard to... actually insert yourself into them
your fics can reach a lot more people if they're neutral (though this is just an added bonus lol)
some colour-coding for your wellbeing: blue = general advice + examples, pink = my personal input
1. avoiding white-coding
this is a big point i'd like to address first because it doesn't get talked about enough! and all of this is in reference to a post i saw like a week ago lmao
i haven't seen this term being used a lot but the general idea is when a piece of writing is catered towards a white reader (usually implied through description)
this is usually done unintentionally but avoiding white coding is an important part of writing totally neutrally!
general things to avoid
describing physical attributes such as hair + skin tone
for example describing hair as silky/smooth implies that it is straight + excludes the majority of other hair types / styles etc
also things like running your fingers through your hair can be impractical w certain hairstyles
i tend to just avoid hair in general ? if you want you can focus on other gestures (hand holding, cupping readers face or sumn)
or just reverse the roles entirely and have reader do the comforting gestures to the canon character
skin tone is definitely more subtle however it can be implied especially through things like blushing
people with darker skin tones DO blush, but it generally tends to be less visible or not at all
instead i tend to describe the feeling rather than the outward changes (face getting warm, getting flustered, heart rate increasing, sweating, stuttering etc)
2. being gender-neutral
okay this admittedly can be difficult to write sometimes
the general rule for a gender neutral reader is to avoid referring to the reader as male or female AND any physical description specific to a certain sex
gendered terms
some people like to use they/them when reader is referred to by other characters
instead of boyfriend/girlfriend you can use partner
i personally don't do these things as you'll see in my next point about re-direction!
there are PLENTY of gender neutral pet names in english
for languages like spanish which have masc and fem versions of words i tend to use nouns (usually non-living or abstract) which have a set gender (such as my heart, my love, etc — one of my favourites is cariño (darling) because it doesn't change based on gender)
though again i rarely write terms of endearment in other languages so i suggest you do your research!
physical terms (sfw only)
also for body inclusivity
again this mainly to try and avoid implying fem!reader but also body types just a tiny little bit
i tend to avoid mentioning body shape but if i do then i use something vague like "shape of your body" rather than "curves" or anything specific
you can just write down the body part without describing it physically (chest, waist thighs, etc)
eyelashes are ... unisex! no way!
you might want to avoid makeup but this is just a *general* suggestion
i tend to NOT describing clothing choices unless it's relevant to the premise of the fic — usually vague references like your school uniform, pajamas, shoes, favourite shirt, etc
you can also cheat this if reader is wearing the other character's clothes 😭 next point re-direction WOOO
3. re-direction / re-phrasing
(a personal choice of mine + totally optional)
re-direction is when you change the focus of a sentence in order to get rid of any words descriptions that may take away from the neutrality of the reader (as you see me talking about in the little pink text everywhere or in the little suggestions in blue)
Re-direction can be used for anything! I think there's a book that exists that uses no words with the letter e and a book that uses no pronouns at all (but don't ask me what they are because I have no clue)
It's not particularly easy or straightforward all the time and you might have to change more than one sentence but re-phrasing your writing can be a good challenge! (if you choose to do so)
for me i tend to re-direct to avoid using any sort of third person pronouns (he/she/they etc) or gendered terms and to avoid using insert tags like y/n
example on pronouns & gendered terms
for pronouns i usually change "he/she/they" to "you" or a noun
"She's not welcome here" could become "Your friend isn't welcome here"
Or the sentence may change entirely to convey the same meaning. The woman turned to you, speaking one simple command: "Get out."
I also tend to use more masc / neutral terms in casual settings like "dude" or "bro"
I also avoid the use of "partner" (though this is just nit-picky) ex. "Is this your partner?" might become "Oh, [character] talks about you all the time!" (entirely dependent on context and if you care enough lol — one of the less clear-cut redirections)
while you could obviously use they in this scenario i personally don't out of preference (to me they/them is an nb set of pronouns if the gender isn't ambiguous and blah blah blah) but it doesn't really matter
example on insert tags
"(Y/N), wait!" can become "Hey, wait!"
Or you could use "your name" rather than a placeholder. He called your name, running behind you. "Wait!"
like i mentioned before things like clothes and favourite foods all tend to revolve around the character rather than the reader. in a lot of cases writing about the foods the character likes or wearing the clothes the character owns can actually be more immersive than inserting your personal preferences into a pair of brackets (in my experience at least)
4. general thoughts and opinions
one big thing i wanted to point out is that it's actually good for your writing to "ban" yourself from using certain terms and descriptions. i find that i focus a lot more on describing events, emotions and character interactions rather than being caught up on the reader.
fem!reader and masc!reader are GREAT too! amazing beautiful wonderful keep writing those — but i think gender neutral readers help to avoid a lot of biases that might (albeit unintentionally) come with a specific gender
and being inclusive for all kinds of readers when you're writing a neutral reader is so important!
to conclude
if you exclusively write one type of reader that is absolutely fine :) write what you want and be happy doing it
neutral readers are GREAT but so difficult to write so pls don't worry if u mess up sometimes 👍
i am still figuring out ways to make my writing more inclusive and i wouldn't know without other people's input! so please feel free to drop ur personal gripes or advice
this post is subject to edits (cuz i always forget to add something and it is very ranty spammy random lol)
this post can be found in the "favourite posts" section of my navigation (pinned)!
reblogs r appreciated if u found it useful <3
#vee rants#hobie brown x gn!reader#miles morales x gn reader#miles morales x reader#miles g morales x reader#hobie brown x reader#prowler miles x reader#prowler miles x you#pavitr prabhakar x you#pavitr prabhakar x reader#earth 42 miles x reader#42!miles x reader
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HideDuo HCs bc we are going through it
The March drought is getting to me y'all. I don't know about all y'all but the anniversary isn't the best thing ever, especially with the Hatsune Miku incident.
I think we deserve a little treat for being dedicated to our favorite roommates. Hence these ramblings.
The following applies to the OSMP characters, not actual streamers themselves. This is gonna be very all over the place, overall cursed, and is projecting. I hope yall enjoy-
Fit:
Can play any sport, but hates all of them (except for ice skating, he fucking loves it but he'll never admit it and he can't skate for shit)
Has read fanfiction before
Knows about dreamsmp lore but doesn't know what it all means in context, very much "Did you know a guy fucked a salmon and had a fox as a child?" "He started a country later? The fish fucker???"
Is into more fru fru coffee drinks than he lets on. Like- fuck yea 9/10 times that mother fucker be drinking that shit black, but he loves some good pumpkin spice- tooty fruity-cuchie deluci frappuccino. He'd only give in around sunny tho.
Was a smoker for a hot minute, quit tho when the ashes nearly lit a TNT. Hasn't picked it up since
Is a slut for pig step
Has read The Art of War
Had a celebrity crush on Philza. He still has it but it's defo diminished since he knows him personally.
Showers daily. I don't care that he's a war-torn mf, that man loves taking showers and will never pass up the opportunity to get one.
Has a poster of Miku Binder Jefferson. Someone gave it to him as a secret Santa present and he has no idea who or what to do with it. He's tempted to burn it but he's kind of afraid of it. It's so cursed that it shows up in his nightmares.
He thinks about Forever a lot more than he wants to admit. He's afraid of the possibility of turning into a monster since he was exposed to the black concert a lot. He understands the fear is irrational since it was long ago but the intrusive thought lingers.
He's thought about marriage in general and with Pac. He'd never admit it but he planned out everything from the venue to the music to the vows. He'd easily swipe it all away if Pac said he had an idea of what he wanted it to be like.
is fluent in Morse code
Knows sign language
Hearing aids mf
Has a family somewhere out there, one that he lost or left only to be dumped into TB2T
Loves crosswords, especially during breakfast and right after Ramon goes to bed.
His favorite smell is cinnamon and cocoa butter
Believes in Herobrine
Can't do long division to save his life
Hates the sound of Velcro
Pac:
Likes the Pacman TV show
Smells like cinnamon and cocoa butter
Has too many scars from the cats he's owned over the years.
Married Mike for tax reasons in the past. They play it up that they're bitter divorcés from time to time
Doesn't shower as often as he should, not because he hates it but because he has a long routine and enjoys baths far more
Enjoys tea and coffee equally
Was a homestuck fan (yesIFUCKINGDIDTHATTOHIMWHATAREYAGONNADO???)
Gay awakening was Rufio from Hook
watches Reading Rainbow as an adult
paints on his prosthetic all the damn time
Has a Post-it note collection. He barely uses them but he has a rainbow of them and each color represents a member of the island.
Has a sticker collection
Always carries small snacks for his pocket dude (I heard about this through the wiki, apparently Pac has a pocket boy? If not then he does now lmao) mostly gummy bears and crackers
Is afraid of the ocean. Idk why that just sounds right for him and if it is it recontextualizes the date he had w fit lol
knows Morse code
Knows some phrases in American sign language (fit is teaching him / is learning for fit, whichever is cuter)
Has hacked into a government-locked server, left lobster porn in place of any files he took. Idk which government it was or why he did it, but he did and they haven't recovered since
Is the type to listen to Jon Bellion and Talor Swift. No, i will not elaborate
Has very vivid daydreams. Aside from drugs and PTSD, he has some really nice ones all on his own. Mostly about Fit tbh.
#hideduo#fitpac#qsmp fitmc#pactw#fitmc#qsmp#qsmp headcanons#headcanon#Hideduo headcanons#i am unhinged
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The Big Guide to Humans: Sex and Gender
It is mostly true, and yet very over simplifying, to say that humans have two sexes. More accurately, sex has a very strong binomial distribution on a spectrum from male to female.
Sex is determined before birth based on genes and hormones, resulting in specific internal and external genitalia. A person at the far male end of the spectrum will have "XY" chromosomes and the hormones they produce, outward-extending external genitals, and relatively simple internal genitals. A person at the far female end will have "XX" chromosomes and their respective hormones, and will have external genitals that tuck inward to become their large and complicated internal genitalia (see reproduction).
It is, however, possible to have internal and external genitalia that do not match each other or that combine features of each, hormones that do not match the chromosomes, genitalia that do not match the chromosomes, "XXY" or "X[null]" or chromosomes, chromosomes that appear as a second X or a Y but are combined, and perhaps other irregularities not adequately described in research accessible outside of Terra. These persons fall outside of the two peaks. In these cases, sex is determined medically by internal genitalia and culturally (more on this below) by external.
If a person feels strongly averse to being their birth sex, adjustments can be made to their hormones, sexual dimorphism, and genitalia (mostly external) to move them toward the other end of the spectrum.
That said, unless you are 1) medical personnel, 2) able to produce offspring with a human, or 3) unwilling to be surprised during sexual encounters, human sex is mostly irrelevant. Asking about their genitalia, if they have not displayed interest in mating (see flirting), is considered extremely rude.
The primary way a human's gender (overly simplified as "the sex they feel they should be") affects you, a non-human with questions about humans/a human, is only in how you refer to them conversationally for languages that mark gender (languages that usually mark sex are expected to use gender for humans). This information is usually included in introductions to specific humans, or may be available in files your translation dock will pull automatically.
The broad categories of human gender are Man, Woman (these two approximately equally common), Both, Neither, Unclear/Other, or Varying (these last 4 together not as common as man or woman).
A human may feel some level of distress determining their gender, especially if they are not a male man or female woman, and it can take years for them to be certain. Or they may know it so instinctively and intrinsically that they never think about it. As with genitals, it is considered rude to be curious about further details — unless the human considers you a close friend and/or offers explanation on their own.
If sex is a spectrum, the details of a human's gender are an n-dimensional color-coded time-lapse graph, representing how one feels about their genitalia/dimorphism, whether they think it's relevant that they have/haven't made deliberate moves along the sex spectrum (or do/don't want to), their feelings about their "traditional gender role" (a reference to complicated human history of treating sex like speciation or a caste, and assuming sex predicted gender), how they demonstrate that they agree/disagree with their sex and/or gender role, how strongly they feel about these things, how much they've thought about them, whether these feelings have changed over time, and infinitely more details based on the human's personal experience, culture, medical history, etc etc.
Where/how a person's gender details appear in this hypothetical graph is not predictive of which of the categories they will place themselves under, and a person with complex feelings about their gender may use words that will lose nuance in translation if they can be translated reliably at all.
#addie writes#humans are space orcs#big guide to humans#behave in the notes or I will turn this car around <3#Clarification: by which I mean “fuck terfs” not “oh no my notifications” if you wanna reblog then go nuts
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safety net: part one
authors note: a fun little thing i wrote up (yes, another discord idea) and am finally posting! this will be in two parts because it got to be pretty long, and the next part will be posted tomorrow night. i hope you all enjoy and feedback is appreciated! (p.s. please be kind :) don't like it, don't read it!)
pairing: nicholas ruffilo x reader (previous noah sebastian x reader)
cross-posted on ao3
part two
word count: 5.6k
cw/tags: fake dating/pretend relationship, past relationship (with noah), angstish, all around fluff, kissing lol, 18+ minors do not interact
The buzz of your phone broke you out of your trance, eyes darting from the computer down to your cell phone. You were so caught up in your work that you barely even paid attention to it, but these days you weren't getting many messages from anyone besides your friends.
everything alright?
You freeze, eyes scanning over your screen. You looked up from your desk and around the room, seeing your coworkers in their own world, before reaching for your phone. You stared at the text from Nicholas.
Why was he texting you? You're sure Noah's already told him what happened. There wasn't a reason for him to be texting you, anyways. Sure, you had gotten along whenever you'd come over to see Noah, and maybe you'd consider him a friend at one point, seeing as he has your number, but he was Noah's friend first. Best friend. Shouldn't it be a part of Bro Code or something to not reach out to your best friends ex?
You frown as another text comes through.
haven't heard from you in awhile.
has he not told you we broke up lol?
Just the thought of Noah made your stomach turn and you sat your phone back down on your desk, a sigh leaving you. It's been about two months since you and Noah had broken up. It was a 6 month situationship at best, according to Noah, but you had figured it was moving towards something more serious. Especially when you both stopped seeing other people. Guess you thought wrong.
You peer over at your phone as it buzzes again.
no, he told me. just wanted to check in because we haven't spoken lol
i thought we were friends 😭
...that was a joke, by the way. you're not obligated to tell me anything ofc but i did think we were friends. lol
Your brows raise at that and you quickly reach for your phone again, thumbs moving across the screen.
you still consider us friends?
The typing bubble pops up immediately.
of course?
even after your best friend broke up with me?
...are we supposed to stop being friends just because of noah?
idk
isn't it like bro code or something?
LMFAO i don't think so?
i mean. you guys weren't that serious, right? i think this is different.
Ouch, you think, brows furrowing.
i thought we were getting serious but. lol. guess not.
really?
yeah. i wasn't seeing anyone else, and neither was he. i thought it was *exclusive* or whatever.
noah obviously didn't think so lmfao
it was just fucking frustrating because i really liked him. and thought it could be something, you know?
You press send without thinking, heart thudding against your chest once you realize it went through. Complaining to Nicholas about his own best friend is probably not the best thing to do, you realize, and you text him again.
sorry. You‘re literally his friend, i should not be complaining to you lol.
don’t apologize. i don’t mind you talking about it.
tbh i figured he did something along those lines. it’s not at all surprising.
You stare at your phone, brows furrowing at Nicholas' text. What did he mean by that? And… Was he agreeing with you? That was odd, and something inside of you turned, but before you could type out what you wanted to say your boss' voice filled the room.
"Don't forget our meeting in 10, guys!"
Your eyes snap up from your desk to your boss' office and your shoulders slouched. The meeting hadn't been on your mind at all, and you knew you had to cut this conversation with Nicholas short in order to prepare for it. You sigh, thumbs moving across your screen.
i'm at work and have a meeting soon, but do you care to talk later? i haven't really talked to anyone about this and... it's kind of nice letting it out not gonna lie lol
His reply comes a few minutes later.
if you want, i can call you around 6 tonight if that's alright? i have some things to finish today but i should be free by then.
Call? For some reason that makes you nervous, your fingers twitching and stomach turning. You hadn't spoken to Nicholas in a few months, and the thought of hearing his voice has your skin buzzing. Weird. You don't have time to reply, instead reacting to his message with a thumbs up and gathering your things for the meeting.
...
A shower, a set of comfy clothes, your favorite blanket, and a bowl of ramen later, you had almost forgotten about your expected phone call with Nicholas by the time you rested on the couch after work. Too engrossed in your shows, you nearly jump out of your seat when you hear your phone rang from beside you. Your quickened heartbeat relaxes for a split second when you see it's just Nicholas, but speeds up again when you realize he actually called you.
You stare at your phone as you let it ring once, twice, and then a third time before finally pressing answer.
"Hello?"
"Hey." Nicholas' soft voice fills your ears. "Sorry it took me a while to get back to you, I got distracted."
"It's fine," You say from around your thumb, it somehow finding its way to your mouth as you nervously chew on it. "I kind of didn't really expect you to call."
"Seriously?" He sounds shocked, like it doesn't make sense why you would think that. "I told you I would."
"I know, just..." You shrug, then blush when you remember he can't see you. "This is weird, right? You calling your best friend's ex to listen to them complain about said best friend."
He's silent on the other end before saying, "Listen. We're still friends, correct? Friends check in on each other. Plus... I'm kind of on your side. What he did was fucked up. I told him that."
"You told him?"
"Mhm." Nicholas hums, and you hear the sound of a door shutting in the background. You hear some shuffling and the sound of him groaning quietly, and you suspect he's in his bedroom, lying down. "I called him an idiot for you, don't worry."
You laugh, surprised, pulling your blanket further up your body.
"You didn't have to do that."
"No, I did." He's laughing now. "He needed to be told that what he did was wrong.”
"He probably didn't like that."
Nicholas sighs on the other end. "He sure fucking didn't."
"Is he mad at you?" You say after a few beats of silence, your lips slowly tugging down into a frown.
"For what?"
"For talking to me?" You grumble, pulling a string of fabric out of your blanket. "And for agreeing that what he did was fucked up?"
"Uh..." Nicholas clears his throat. "He doesn't really know that I reached out to you. Yet. This was weeks ago when I called him out on his shit." He pauses. "But yeah, he was pissed that I told him it was fucked up."
You go silent, not sure how to respond. You feel odd, like there's a weight on your chest, almost like... sadness. You knew how hard-headed Noah could be and how it was hard for him to get over his pride, so having one of his best friend's call him out on how he treated you was sure to piss him off. Though, a part of you was hoping maybe he'd tell Nicholas he regretted it all, regretted the way he treated you, but there was none of that.
"Still there?"
Too lost in your thoughts you don't realize how long you've gone silent, and your cheeks flush out of embarrassment.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Just thinking."
"About?"
"I don't know..." You sigh. "Just how stupid I feel being upset over a guy who's angrier that someone called him out than what he actually did to me. It's embarrassing."
"No, it's not-"
You cut him off. "Yes, it is. It's really fucking embarrassing. I thought we were serious, fucking exclusive, only to find out he looked at our entire relationship the complete opposite." You have to catch your breath, shoulders deflating. "He called me a situationship, Nicholas. Like it was just some fucking fling to keep him occupied because he was bored."
Nicholas doesn't say anything, and to be honest, you don't blame him. If you were on the other end you're not sure what you would say either. It just angered you, this whole thing. You thought you had found someone, maybe not exactly the one, but maybe someone you wouldn't mind getting serious with.
"I just," You continue on, filter long gone. "Sometimes I wanna get back at him, you know? Hurt him like he hurt me."
Nicholas is quiet on the other end and bringing your hand up to chew on your thumb again, nerves growing even more. Maybe you had said too much, complained too much, and he's probably annoyed. He probably regrets telling you that you could complain and that he didn't mind.
"Listen..." Nicholas starts and you're fully expecting him to be upset with you. "This might sound crazy, and tell me if it is, but I think I know how you can get back at him."
You freeze.
"What?"
"Noah's my best friend, and I love him, but we grew up together. I know how he is." You hear him sigh on the other end. "It was shitty to lead you on and to make you think it was more than it actually was. I'm not going to sugar coat it."
"Well, we already know that but what's so crazy about it?"
"You didn't let me finish." He huffs out a laugh, and something inside your belly flutters. "The more I think about it the crazier it sounds but... it might not make him hurt like you are, but it'll definitely make him mad."
This interests you, and you find yourself sitting up on the couch. "Oh? Go on."
"Um..." He clears his throat. "Noah gets incredibly jealous and I know he wouldn't know what to do if he saw you with someone else."
"But I'm not." You say with a pout. He laughs again.
"Right." He pauses. "But what if he thought you were?"
"Okay..." You say slowly. It does sound like a good idea, but how would you pull it off? You had nobody to fill in for you. "How would I go about that? There's not exactly anyone jumping at the chance to fake date me."
"That's where the crazy part comes in," He sounds nervous and you can't help but find it almost adorable, the way his voice gets softer as his nerves settle in. "He'd lose his fucking mind if the person you were seeing was someone he knew. A friend of his." Another pause. "...Maybe even a best friend."
Realization dawns on you and you can't help the way your lips part, a gasp slipping from your lips. "Nicholas Ryan."
"Hear me out!” You close your mouth. "Just imagine how pissed he'd get. He wouldn't know what to do. It'd eat at him forever."
You let his words finally sink in, the proposition closeting around your mind. It was crazy, absolutely fucking insane but… it didn’t sound so bad. It actually sounded kind of genius. What bet way could you get back at him if not… fake-date his best friend? You knew Noah and you knew just how bad he’d handle this, and the thought made your body shake in excitement.
“Alright.” You say finally, lips stretching into a smile. “Exactly how would we do this?”
“Well…” Nicholas pauses on the other end, letting out a nervous chuckle. “We’d just try to make him believe we were actually together.”
“Like… hang out at the house and act like we’re going on dates?”
“If you want. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
You go silent for a moment. “And you think it’ll work?”
“I know it’ll work.” Nicholas says matter-of-factly.
You lean back against the couch and think over your option for a moment. You really had nothing to lose, either Noah will get upset or you’ll get no reaction at all.
“Fuck it. Let’s do it.”
You could practically hear the smile in Nicholas’ voice when he replied with a “Hell yeah,” and your belly fluttered, flipping and turning at the thought of you doing this. It was childish, sure, but you didn’t care. You wanted to get Noah riled up and you knew this was the only way to do it.
You and Nicholas talked over some details before you settled on coming over later that week and then you’d go from there. Later that night when you settled into bed, you felt lighter than you had in weeks, sleep finding you easily.
...
You took a deep breath as you put your car in park and leaned your forehead against your steering wheel. You had been nervous the entire drive over and even drove in complete silence, trying to gather your thoughts. They were too jumbled, you could barely even think straight. Was this a good idea? You turn your head to stare at the house, one you had grown used to months ago, and you feel the pit in your stomach growing.
This was a terrible idea, you think. You should just put your car in reverse and get the hell out of here, because you're sure your plan wouldn't work. How would it? There's no way Noah would believe you and Nicholas were a thing, you were a terrible actor. Could you really convince Noah that you were actually with Nicholas?
Your phone buzzes in the seat beside you and you huff out a sigh, reaching for it.
let me know when you're here. he's just watching a movie with bryan and jolly right now.
is it too late to back out? idk if i can do this.
You press send before even thinking, pressing your forehead back against the steering wheel. Another text comes through.
it's your choice. i'm cool with whatever, as long as you're comfortable.
i got your back.
For some reason that has your chest blooming in heat. Your eyes flutter shut as you think over your choices, Nicholas' words looming in your mind, and you let out a sigh. I got your back.
meet me at the door? i'm coming up now.
All you get in a response is Nicholas reacting to your message with a heart, but that's enough to calm your nerves and even bring a small smile to your face. You pull the mirror down one last second to give yourself a once over, fixing your hair, and then you're opening the door. You take your time walking up to their house, eyes scanning over your surroundings to see if anything has changed. Nothing has, and it brings some sort of comfort to you.
Before you can even raise a hand to knock at the door, the handle is twisting and you're met with soft eyes and a smile.
"Hey."
You stand there, dumbfounded for a moment, as your eyes scan over Nicholas' face. You can hear someone speaking in the background, along with a movie playing, and you have to swallow down the nerves that are threatening to come back.
"Hi." You say quietly and give Nicholas a shy smile. He looks behind him before stepping out, closing the door.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" He asks, face clouded with concern. His lips purse into a pout as he looks down at you. "I don't want you doing this if you're having second thoughts."
You shake your head. "I'm okay. I would've left already if I was that scared."
His frown only deepens.
"I don't want you feeling like you have to do this. It's a crazy idea. I can understand why you'd be afraid."
His concern for you only makes the heat in your chest expand, feeling it all the way down to the tips of your fingers. He was so worried about how you felt about all of this, wanting to make sure you were comfortable... it was all new to you. It's not like Noah never cared about how you felt, but this was a different feeling. Nicholas was different. You swallow again, reaching out to place a hand on Nicholas' arm.
"This is a crazy idea, but it's one I agreed to." You see him look down at your hand on his arm before looking at you again, and you give him another smile. "I want to do this. Plus, you got my back. Remember?"
This makes him smile, albeit small, and he nods. "Hell yeah I do."
You stare at him for a beat, smile never wavering before clapping your hands together. “Alright. Let’s do this.”
He opens the door and lets you in first, and you hear Noah before you see him. His voice has you pausing in the hallway, lips dipping into a frown, and you barely notice Nicholas behind you. You jump slightly at the feel of Nicholas' hand against your back as he guides the two of you to the living room. Your stomach turns reveling in the fact Noah has to see you, with Nicholas, because this was the only way to his room.
"Just follow my lead." Nicholas murmurs against your ear and you try to ignore the way your body shivers, heat exploding throughout you.
You nod.
The second you enter the living room all eyes are on you, and you don't miss the way all the boys do a double take. Both Jolly and Bryan stare at you in enjoyment, lips curled, and you can't help but smile back, sending them a wave. Noah’s face is blank, but you don’t miss the way his eyes narrow at the sight of you and Nicholas together.
"Well, well, well." Bryan's grin only grows and his eyes dart between you, Nicholas, and Noah. "Long time no see."
"Where the hell have you been?" Jolly asks and Bryan chuckles beside him.
They know exactly where you've been, but the fact they still asked with Noah in the room has your smile widening. Especially with how his face is now turned into a scowl.
"Oh, you know." You shrug. "Around."
“With Ruffilo?” Jolly questions, his brows raising. You give another shrug, your cheeks heating up.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Nicholas teases, the hand that was on your back now sliding down to rest on your hip. Noah’s eyes follow the movement. You notice, and so does Nicholas, and his hand drops from your hip to circle around your own. “We’re gonna be upstairs if you need me.”
Jolly whistles. “With everyone home? That’s brave, Nick.”
You can’t help but blush, head dipping down to hide it and Nicholas laughs out, “Fuck you.”
“Dude, shut up.” Noah snaps at Jolly. You look up at that, brows furrowing to find Noah already staring at you. “Since when are you guys friends?”
You frown as the anger begins to build inside of you, his tone immediately setting something off. It was so… accusatory. As if you had done something wrong – which you hadn’t.
“Dude-“ Nicholas starts, but you cut him off.
“We’ve always been friends.” You bite out. “Maybe if you’d paid attention before, you would’ve known that already.”
The room goes silent after that and you take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. You look up at Nicholas.
“Can we go now?” You ask quietly, but just loud enough for everyone to hear. He gives you a small smile and nods, facing his friends again.
“Text me if you need me,” He says while starting to tug you towards the stairs, “but don’t need me.”
Jolly and Bryan laugh but Noah remains silent, lips pressed together as he fumes in his seat. Nicholas' hand in yours feels heavy, especially now with the way you m know Noah's staring at your intertwined fingers. Nicholas gives you a supportive squeeze and gently pulls you with him, making his way up the stairs.
"When did this happen?" Noah follows after the two of you and you press your lips together, eyes rolling.
"Like it matters?" You mumble, turning to look back at him. "We weren't serious. I can see whoever I want to."
"So, you chose my best friend?"
"I didn't choose anyone, Noah." You groan and stop at the top of the stairs, Nicholas still tugging at your hand. You don’t miss the way Noah is glaring at his best friend behind you. "Not everything is about you."
This has him stopping on the bottom step, looking at you as if you’ve just wounded him before turning into anger at the sound of Jolly and Bryan erupting into ooooh’s. You know a few months ago you would’ve doubled down and apologized, but right now all you want to do is laugh. It felt good making him feel bad, as crazy as it sounded, and the second you reach Nicholas’ room you feel as if you’ve finally made it to the end of the race.
The hard part is over.
You finally let out the breath you had been holding when Nicholas shut the door. He leans forward, pressing his ear to the door for a moment before taking a step back and looking over at you, his lips tugging up into a smirk.
"He's still out there." He whispered, just loud enough for you to hear. "He looked so fucking pissed, dude."
You have to press your hand against your mouth, trying to muffle the giggles that threaten to spill. You feel like a kid, pulling a stupid prank on your friend on the playground, but you can't help how exciting it feels. You wonder just how pissed Noah is, thinking that his ex or whatever you were to him moved on... to his best friend.
"Did you see the look on his face when you grabbed my hand?" You press your lips together and let your eyes shut, taking a deep breath to stop your laughter. "Holy shit. That was priceless."
“I’m definitely gonna get chewed out for this but it’s so worth it.”
Nicholas makes his way over to his bed and flops down onto it, laughing to himself and he doesn't bother holding it back. You follow his lead, sitting down beside him as you finally let your own giggle release, falling onto your back. The two of you lay there, giggling like children, and you hadn't even realized all the tension that was once in your body has fully vanished.
Call yourself hateful, but it felt good to see the look on Noah's face. To see him so upset. You're not sure if he was exactly hurt in the same way that you were, but you knew he was pissed. That's enough for you. It also felt good to just laugh, something you haven't done in a while, and you turn your head to look at Nicholas. He's still laughing, face scrunched in amusement and that same warm feeling in your chest comes back.
"Thank you." You hum quietly, and Nicholas' laughter dies out. He turns his head to look at you and he smiles, bright and big.
"Of course." He mumbles. "I got your back. Remember?"
He echoes your words back to you and this makes you smile, hand reaching out for his own that laid on the bed. You find that it feels easy to intertwine your fingers with his and you give his hand a squeeze. He returns it back.
"What do we do now?" You question after a moment, hand slipping from his. You swear you see his face fall for a split second.
He sits up then, running a hand through his hair. "Well. We let him believe whatever he wants about what we're doing in here and..." He gives you a shrug, grinning down at you. "We hang out, I guess. Watch a movie or something."
You nod at his words, resting your hands against your stomach,
“Sounds good to me.”
And so, you do. He puts on a show he'd been watching recently, an anime that you didn't know the name of, and the two of you laid side by side as the episode played. You had watched a few anime’s with Noah when you two were together, but you never really found yourself getting into them. You're not sure what's different this time around, but you find yourself asking Nicholas questions every so often. You ask about the plot which he happily obliged, going into great detail about them.
It was nice, you think. You quickly realized you liked hearing him talk. His voice was soft, but low. It had a very calming tone to it, one that always put you at ease. You think you could sit and listen to Nicholas talk for hours and never get bored.
One episode turned into two, and two episodes turn into four, and before you know it, it’s already dark outside.
“Shit. What time is it?” Nicholas says beside you, reaching for his phone. You turned to look at him, eyes widening when you realized just how close the two of you had gotten in the few hours you’d spent here.
A part of you felt the need to be even closer. You shake it off, sitting up on his bed and stretching out your limbs as Nicholas spoke again.
“Dude, it’s literally nine o’clock.”
“It didn’t even feel that long.” You watch as he rolls off his bed, stretching, before looking down at you. “Sorry I kept you here so long. Once I get started on a show I can’t stop.”
“It’s okay. I actually really liked it.” You say earnestly, standing up from the bed. He smiles.
“Yeah?”
“Of course.”
“We’ll have to finish the next episode the next time you come over then, if you want.”
For some reason the words next time has your body heating up, skin buzzing with something you can’t exactly place. You smile up at him.
“I’m down.”
He waits for as you grab your things and the two of you make your way back downstairs. It’s much quieter than it had been earlier, but Noah and Jolly were still on the couch, but they had switched places at some point. You don’t bother glancing at Noah, though you feel his glare, and send a wave to Jolly.
“Leaving already?” Jolly says, a playful pout slipping onto his lips.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be back.” You hear Noah snort, and you take a chance to glance at him, seeing the boy roll his eyes. You have to stop yourself from smirking.
You got him.
“You better.” Jolly’s eyes move to Nicholas. “Next time don’t hog her, man. Let her come out and say hi or something.”
“I make no promises.” Nicholas teases, placing his hand against the small of your back. Your skin prickles in goosebumps at the feeling and you find yourself leaning into his touch.
Jolly laughs but sends you both off with a wave, Noah’s eyes following you until you’re out of sight and by the door.
You let out the breath you had been holding.
“Doing alright?” Nicholas mumbles. You nod and try to give him a reassuring smile.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You speak. “Thank you for doing this again, you really didn’t have to.”
"Hey, what are friends for? Also, it was literally my idea.” Nicholas murmurs, smiling down at you. “… Text me when you get home?”
You've already forgotten about Noah in the living room, most likely trying to eavesdrop on your conversation, too busy finding yourself getting lost in Nicholas' eyes. You nod.
"Of course."
His smile widens, which you didn't think was possible, and he leans forward to brush his lips against your forehead. You freeze, eyes widening at the action. You had talked about making it believable on the phone, but you didn't expect him to go this far. You also didn't expect to like the feeling of his lips against your skin as much as you did.
You both whisper your goodbyes, and you find yourself back in your car, hands gripping the steering wheel.
That went a lot easier than you thought.
...
This goes on for a few weeks.
You come over a few times a week to hang out, sometimes in Nicholas' room and sometimes in the living room when Jolly begs you two to join him and Noah for a movie. The first time was awkward, and you knew Jolly only did it to be an ass, but after a while it stopped being so awkward and started to become... normal.
Noah didn’t speak to you, and according to Nicholas he didn’t speak to him either for a good two weeks. He’d only ever glare at the two of you during your movie nights or when you both made your way upstairs, and at first you loved it. You loved that you got under his skin so much that every time you were around, he was seething. It made you feel good, as crazy as it sounds.
Eventually, though, you stopped caring.
You don’t know when it happened, or when you stopped coming over to piss off Noah, but it happened. You and Nicholas started hanging out more, even outside of the house, and you found yourself enjoying his company more than you ever thought you would. You were starting to anticipate his texts, and even his calls, your belly erupting in butterflies every time you saw his name flash across your screen.
Some crazy part of you thinks that maybe Nicholas had stopped caring too.
Even in the quiet of his room where no one else was around, he was always touching you. Arm wrapped around you as you curled into his side, fingers twisting and twirling in your hair as you two finished another episode of his – and yours – current favorite anime. Sometimes he’d be the one curled up against you, his head resting against your stomach as you laid out on his bed, listening to him talk about why Episode 3 was the best out of the prequels.
It didn’t shock you too much when you finally sat down with your thoughts about everything – Nicholas, Noah, yourself – and with the help of your friends, you came to the conclusion that you weren’t pretending anymore. You had feelings for Nicholas, and the thought was equally terrifying and exciting in every way.
You find yourself back at the front door after spending a few hours there and Nicholas is already leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead, like he always does when you leave. Your eyes flutter shut and you lean into the feeling, letting yourself enjoy it for once, and you lift your head up. He pulls back, briefly, and your eyes open to stare into his.
You can feel Noah's eyes on you both, the first time he has in weeks, but for some reason you can’t find it in yourself to care all that much. Nicholas gives you a gentle smile and you can't help but let your eyes drop to his lips, before gazing back up. He catches it, brows furrowing and head tilting, and you lean up again.
"You should kiss me." You whisper, eyes darting back to his lips.
He swallows. "What?"
"Noah's watching." You whisper again. "We gotta make it believable, right?"
You watch as he blinks from your eyes down to your lips. He does it a few times, staring at you in silence, and you know that he knows. Noah doesn’t care anymore, even though he’s watching. Nicholas knows you’ve already made it as believable as you could, but he still goes along with it. Your breath catches in your throat when you feel him reach up and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear before leaning down, forehead pressing against yours.
"...Yeah. You're right. We do." He breathes out and you physically shake at the feeling of his breath ghosting your lips.
You don't move at first, and neither does he, and you let your eyes flutter shut as your fingers come to circle around the flannel that hung off of him. Your fingers curl around the material the second he leans forward, capturing your lips with his. Both hands come up now to cup your face, Nicholas' thumbs brushing over your cheeks, and you'd have half a mind to be embarrassed by the sound that escapes you, but you're too caught up in him.
Nicholas is the first to pull away, but you don't move, you don't even open your eyes. You can hear your heart thudding against your chest, and you have to take a deep breath to try and calm yourself down. His hands still cup your cheeks, and he tilts your head forward slightly, pressing yet another tender kiss to your forehead.
"Text me when you get home."
You don't miss the waver in his voice, and you finally open your eyes to look up at him. You see something in his eyes shift, something much softer than you've ever seen, and it makes your heart flutter. You give him a small nod and try not to frown when his hands fall from your face. You drop your hands from his flannel, and he gives you a smile, but there's something behind it.
You think about it (and his lips) the entire drive home.
#bad omens fanfiction#bad omens fanfic#nicholas ruffilo fanfiction#nicholas ruffilo fic#nicholas ruffilo x reader#mine
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