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whump-town · 3 years

Text

A Cumbersome And Heavy Body

Chapter One: Tired Of This Body

Summary: Stubborn until the very end, Aaron Hotchner isn't going to go down without a fight. It's just getting hard to tell the difference between fighting them and fighting the cancer.

Word count: 7,883

Author’s Note: ugh... well, here it is. Don’t be afraid to send me hate mail or leave a comment. I love it when I make you guys sad (in a loving way of course) :)) good luck you little shits and may the odds be ever in your favor (FYI, they’re not)

Warning: the subject of this fic is cancer and it’s treatment, cursing, maybe out of character (idk, man. hotch is weird)

I've grown tired of this body Cumbersome and heavy Tired of this body Fall apart without me

“I understand you’re here with concerns of a mass you found—”

He was shaving. The mirror fogged from his shower and the room heavy with steam. Leisurely, he’d wasted time getting ready. That particular morning, he’d gotten up before his alarm and he was happy for the distraction of the near-boiling water pouring over his back while the cold tile bites into his shoulder. An easy stress-reliever before the day fully starts.

Dragging a cool rag over his face he’d caught sight of a slightly swollen place on his chest. He’d dropped the rag in the sink and gently probed the area. He’d expected the sting of a bruise, not a knot of hard lumps.

It wasn’t a bruise.

“I regret to inform you—”

He hadn’t even known there were lymph nodes in the chest.

“Can you take your shirt off for me, sir?”

There’s a whole staff of people fluttering and dodging his eyes. A blur of motion as they work around him. Of them all, Hotch has already developed a soft spot for. Dr. Fitz and the glasses that are too big for his face despite his attempts to make them fit his face. There are rubber bands wrapped around the earpieces to push them tighter around his head and a piece of tape holding one of the lenses in. It’s strangely endearing.

No matter how many times Hotch tells Dr. Fitz that Aaron works just fine, he still nervously throws in the courtesy. He’s just like Reid and it’s that thought that makes him both comfortable and so unbearably alone.

With a nod, Hotch tugs his shirt out from where it’s tucked into his pants. The cold air hits his bare chest and he holds his breath for a moment, shivering slightly before he takes control once again. Foyet’s scars are on broad display for the whole room but, to their credit, none of them blink. They’re not here to dissect the scars covering his body or take stock of the weight he’s put on.

He just goes where he’s pulled. If he flinches when they touch him, no one comments. It’s for the better, mostly.

“The tattoo is going to guide the external beam radiation at your tumor,” Dr. Fitz explains once again. His hands tremble slightly as they hold the little needle in his hands. “It’s just three dots.”

Hotch nods, his mouth a little too dry. This whole process a little too much. He nods his understanding, fists clenched at his side to force himself to show no outward reaction. It doesn’t bother him as much as it should those dots are going to be with him forever. His first and last tattoo.

Forcing a steadying breath, he glues his eyes to the ceiling. It stings but it’s not unbearable. The needle digs into his chest, pushing the ink in. It’s the second and third dot that get him. His skin is getting hot, sore enough to make him gunt as the last one is placed.

“Not nearly as fun as a normal tattoo,” one of the other doctor’s observes. Hotch, blinking back tears, looks over at his other doctor. A woman whom he’d never have figured the “tattoo” type. His brain is a little preoccupied, worn down. He’ll get over not profiling her very well, he just might not forgive himself for the slip-up.

Hotch just… grunts. Not a real answer but the easiest.

He’s offered a hand up but he doesn’t take it. Shoulders sore and arms weak, he pushes himself up. Leaning to the side when his head starts to pound, his mouth really, really dry.

“Alright—” a cold gloved finds his shoulder. “You’re just panicking,” he’s reassured. “You need to breathe. In through your nose and out through your mouth.” The hand squeezes his shoulder but he keeps his eyes squeezed shut. It feels like he’s going to pass out. But… he doesn’t. He breathes as instructed and slowly, the room calms back down.

As he peels his eyes open, chest tight and hands trembling, he finds the room still every bit as busy as it was before his little fit. The world really doesn’t stop.

“Are you sure—,” Dr. Fitz twists and worries his hands. Obviously, he’s worked himself up too. Probably blaming himself for Hotch’s reaction. He should have let him take a break or warned him a little better. “Most people find it helpful to have someone here,” Dr. Fitz observes. “Do you— Do you want to call someone?”

His eyes drop to the floor, his mind-- Haley. She would be here. Cracking jokes and poking at his side. Things used to be so much easier with her around. There was this magic about her, a drug her presence doped him up. She would light the room up and hold his hand. She’s not here, though. She’s dead and he’s having a hard time convincing himself this isn’t some sort of penance.

Snuffing out a light like her, it was bound to have its consequences.

They’ve marked him and with his advanced stage, he’s got an aggressive treatment plan, and the radiation starts tomorrow. So, no. No, he doesn't want to call anyone. He just wants to serve his time. Besides, who would he call?

JJ? With two children of her own and a painfully busy schedule.

Reid? His mother occupies his mind as is.

Morgan? He’s grappling with a relationship with Savannah, attempting to salvage all of the complex things life has thrown at him.

Dave? Hasn’t he already lost a child? The last thing he needs is to sit here for any given amount of time and watch this.

And he’d never, never put Garcia through this.

“No,” he rasps, laying back down. “I’m okay.”

He closes his eyes and when a single hot tear runs down his cheek, he doesn’t wipe it away. I’m okay.

I’m okay.

There aren't immediate side effects and he’s not sure if that’s a relief or worse. He’s anxious, nearly sick with nerves. Would it not be simpler to just get sick already? To throw up or get sore or just— anything.

The machine hurts his ears. Fifteen minutes of lying perfectly still gets hard after about two minutes. The whole process exacerbated by the way the low hum of the machine makes his head feel like someone’s digging at his skull with an icepick through his ear.

He’s assured he shouldn’t start feeling any symptoms for a few days. Likely not until the second week of treatments.

It takes five days for a stitch in his side to take his breath for a moment, doubling over as he struggles to breathe for a moment. Chest tight and head fogged. They just add another pill bottle to the other whole collection he’s accumulated on his nightstand.

It feels like there’s an elephant sitting on his chest. A hand gripping a fist full of his hair and dunking his head back under the water. Ties binding his wrist to the bed. A knife buried in his side.

It feels like the ground he’s standing on is rumbling, shifting beneath his feet and at any given moment it’s going to pitch him forward. A free fall and he doesn’t know if he’s ever going to land on his feet.

He’s staring at the ceiling. Fists gripping the sheets as his stomach twists and churns. Swallowing around the uncomfortable burn in his throat, he turns his head to the side. Watching the movements just outside his bedroom window. Jack’s outside, kicking his soccer ball, and waiting for Daddy to come to join him. Hotch, will have to join him sooner rather than later. Even with the yard fenced in, anything could happen out there.

Funny. Just a few weeks ago, anything could have been blown under the rug with “at least it’s not cancer”. Now he’s plotting his will out in his head, making sure he covers every little thing. Who will lead the team? Where will Jack go? Can Jessica handle arrangements and should he start preparing the comfort letters now?

In the face of it all, he’d thought he could accept this. Life goes on. Things happen. He doesn’t want to die. All of those poems, the books, and the lies. “Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep.” Well, that’s right shit, in his opinion. What comes next? Not light. Not hope. His body will succumb to cancer leaving behind the carnage of his actions.

Hodgkin's Lymphoma…

He’d known, in that morbid way his thoughts tend to twist, that he shouldn’t get his hopes up. That it would be silly for the doctor to smile, sympathetic to his plight, and advise him to talk to his therapist about this new progression of paranoia. For a pat on the back. Instead, he got the cold examination table under his back, and the nurse giving his trembling hand a squeeze as the needle had plunged into his chest.

It’s all been a haze since that phone call. Since the confirmation. Now he’s got more blood tests scheduled for Monday. That’s what his life is now. Radiation for fifteen minutes for four days a week. On the fifth day, he gets blood work drawn. They check for enzymes and cells. He doesn’t really care to understand.

He should. Don’t mistake the careless, numb ache thinking about all this gives him for complete inattention to detail. It’s just a little much for one person.

Hotch finds himself wondering what Reid would tell him about the whole process. Statics that would knock the wind from his lungs and odds that would make him feel just a little better. That he’s too old and too stressed out. That radiation aimed at his chest can harden his arteries and increase his already high chances of a heart attack. That he should have seen this coming-- his father died at 47. Lung cancer. A heart attack.

He should have seen it coming.

“Daddy?”

He has to lean into his nightstand as the ground warps beneath his feet. “I’m coming,” he manages, closing his eyes and blindly hoping that his door is shut and Jack can’t see him. He wishes he’d smoked more. Indulged in Dave’s cigars. Gone drinking with Derek. Danced like Penelope. Fuck, smiled more.

He didn’t even know there were lymph nodes in the chest. He’d gone to law school. Spent his early adulthood learning to read complex course material and how to cry softly in a room with another person less than five feet from him. Maybe he should have studied Biology… but then he’d just have to come to terms with the fact that this whole mess was bound to happen. Predisposed. Genetic and environmental.

His fault.

--------------------------------

Six in the morning is not a typical time to be fielding calls from concerned police officials. “He—Hello?” Which, now that phone is tucked under his chin, and the call answered, he realizes that he should have checked the caller ID. As stated, is it six in the morning and he doubts anyone too important is calling him at this hour.

Unless, of course, his luck has finally run out and yet another political disaster has occurred. Leaving him to clean the wreck.

The other end makes a strange noise before he’s greeted with, “--finally! I was almost worried you wouldn’t answer!”

Oh.

Emily.

“Morning,” he greets, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. He’s a little too grumpy for this right now but she’s obviously called for a reason, her happiness seeping into tone, and he’s not going to purposely ruin that. How many hours ahead is London, again? Why is she awake?

“I was worried,” she admits. He can hear her working, the drag of her pen across paper, and the shift of the leather chair she’s sitting in. Even her keyboard clicking away as she multi-tasks. “Your last letter was nearly two weeks ago. Is everything good at home?”

Home. He smirks, she’s been overseas now for several years. Yet, she still refers to Virginia as home. The thought makes him shake his head. He’d never draw the conclusion out loud to her but he can imagine that little slip-up is one of the reasons that her on-again-off-again boyfriend Michael grows frustrated with her. It’s not her fault. It’s an understandable mistake but it certainly reflects a certain tone for her affections of London.

Her preferences.

“They’re fine,” he answers, evenly. “Jack’s doing well in school. Dave’s stopped hounding me about potential love suitors.” He pauses to splash water across his mouth, preparing to wash his face. “Garcia enjoyed last month’s tea flavor, what was it-- raspberry?”

He places his phone on speaker and sets it on the shelf above his sink. Ducking his head, he listens to her while he washes his face. Going about the habitual process of shaving. A comforting thing he’s always done. He’s got no preference when it comes to facial hair. A beard is just as easy as a clean face. It’s about shaving. It’s soothing. It’s one of the few things that’s remained constant in his life.

She’s talking-- he thinks about how the weather in London has hit a point in the season that she doesn’t particularly like. Raining and cold. That she wants to come home but she isn’t sure she should. Will she really be able to tear herself away from the Virginia weather? From them?

He’s half-way done shaving when his eyes drift to his shirtless chest.

He wonders how many times he shaved, how many mornings did he wake up before he realized-- before he saw the tumor or the lump or mass or whatever the hell the medical term is. He lowers his head, sighing in defeat but mostly anger. How’d he let it get to this?

“Anyways,” she sighs. Sounding every bit as tired as he feels. “How is home? How are you?”

He looks at himself in the mirror. His head is absent of reason. No logic or forethought.

“I have cancer.”

-------------------------------- Everything about Aaron Hotchner is traditional and simplistic. It’s not a bad thing. In the years that she's known him, she’s grown fond of that. It makes him predictable and reliable. Something that happens infrequently in people the older that she gets. A part of her does feel wrong for clinging to that, to him, but she cherishes his friendship. Through the ups and downs.

Their means of communication are letters. Once a week she can expect to find two to three pages of neatly written updates on her family across the pond. He’ll ramble about anything in those letters and that’s what she enjoys about them the most. There is no hesitation to tell her what he thinks. In those letters, she can find Aaron. Incredible soft, thoughtful Aaron.

It’s been two weeks since he’s sent a letter. Not to sound clingy but she’s kind of hurt. More so, she’s nervous to find out what’s taking up so much of his time. He’s routine with his responses. Almost every Thursday night she can curl up with his newest letter and a glass of wine and read about the BAUs newest adventure. It’s always a bonus when throws in his subtle little “I” statements. I miss you’s come rare but when they do happen it’s nice.

Sighing, she caves. It’s Friday, she hasn’t heard from him in two weeks, and she misses him. By the time she has his contact picture pulled up and the ring tone dialing-- his goofy picture from his badge grinning at her-- she realizes that her eleven am is his six am. Just as she’s starting to think he won’t answer it goes through.

“H--Hello?” he sounds like shit. Over the course of the last year, she’s managed to forget what he sounds like. His voice is startlingly deep which does surprise her just a little.

“Finally!” she mumbles. “I was worried you wouldn’t answer!”

He yawns and it makes her smile. “Morning,” he grumbles and she can hear him scratching tiredly at his face. She feels guilty for waking him up for only a moment. That is until she remembers he gets up at six. So it’s likely she called right after his alarm clock went off.

Tucking her phone between chin and shoulder, she turns her computer on. Settling in behind her desk and getting to work. “I was worried,” she tells him. Not sure if she’s meaning to sound mad at him for not sending his “everyone’s alive and well” letter or mad that she doesn’t know how he is. He’s thrown her off her routine. “Your last letter was nearly two weeks ago. Is everything good at home?”

Her worry bleeds into the statement but he’s too tired to feed it or make fun of it.

She can hear him huff softly, an almost laugh.

“They’re fine,” he answers softly. His voice is drowsy, “Jack’s doing well in school. Dave’s stopped hounding me about potential love suitors.” She hears the tap run, he pauses, and she can hear him splashing water on his face. “Garcia enjoyed last month’s tea flavor, what was it-- raspberry?”

She smirks, it was raspberry. Although, she doubts Garcia liked it as much as he says. She’s not a huge raspberry fan. Besides, Emily had sent that tea with one specific tea drinker in mind: him. The thing about Hotch is, he’s traditional, but he’s also complicated. That’s just Hotch for “I enjoyed the tea you sent”.

Really, she’d just wanted him to be introduced to more teas than his just his simple black tea. Be more creative. Have some fun.

“I’m glad Garcia liked the tea,” she says with a smirk. “She’s been texting me all week.” Pictures, texts, and a few Snapchat. Emily doesn’t entirely know how to use Snapchat yet but she’s getting the hang of it. “You guys being grounded is relaxing, I’m sure, but that woman’s got way too much time on her hands.” Emily shakes her head at the thought. Lovingly, of course.

“Anyways,” she runs a hand over her face and she lets out a sigh. “How is home? How are you?”

There’s a long pause on his end. All his busy movements coming to a halt. It makes her heart pick up its pace, her gut twisting. Suddenly, that knee-jerk thought, that stupid thought that something might be wrong feels true. She’s just about to say his name when his voice cuts through.

“I have cancer.”

Her first reaction is oh. At least she was right.

That is immediately followed by-- oh fuck.

“Are you…” she swallows thickly, work forgotten. “Have--” Where does she even begin?

He clears his throat, “Hodgkin's Lymphoma.” He answers without her actually having to ask. It feels to get it off his chest, literally. To tell someone. “I guess--” he makes a choked sound like the shock of this news is setting in again. ��They have to put, uhm, ink to locate the right place. So, I… I have a tattoo of sorts now.”

She laughs a half-pained sound. “I’m sure Morgan doesn’t consider it to be a tattoo,” she manages around the tightness of her throat. She cringes at the thought, ink and a needle just digging into his flesh. Cancer invading his body.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment but when he does, she understands the silence.

“I haven’t told them.”

As much as she wants to be mad at him, she shouldn’t really expect anything different. He’s painfully shy and private. God knows if she hadn’t found him half-dead in the hospital after Foyet, he’d have gone as long as possible without telling them. He certainly wouldn’t have told them while still hospitalized.

It’s the same lack of forethought that goes through them, a moment of blindness. He’d felt the weight of restraints pulling his limbs down when the admissions had left his lips. She feels only conviction, “I’m coming home.”

It catches him entirely off guard.

She winces when he starts coughing. His first symptom since starting radiation. It’s a horrible sounding dry cough that makes her lungs ache just to hear.

The coughs fold him over, the force at which they leave his mouth is painful. What is it that makes coughing so painful? That’s never made much sense. It’s just air, right?

“Hotch?”

He rubs at his sternum, trying to externally soothe the muscles. “I’m okay,” he chokes. Shakily, his right-hand bears his weight as his left turns the faucet on. With his palm, he manages to sip a few mouthfuls of water. It just doesn’t stop the coughing. “I’m okay.”

She highly doubts that. There’s not a single thing about what she just heard that sounds “okay” by anyone standards-- certainly not his. “Are you going to work like this?” she asks. It’s hard to believe he’d allow himself to be seen in any state that isn’t tip-top shape. On that note, she also knows that way too good at putting on a show, and, for profilers, the team sucks at making that distinction.

The anger that evokes in him is undue. Admittedly, he overreacts. “I said I’m fine,” he barks. “I don’t need you checking in on me, Prentiss. I don’t need you here, too!” To watch. It’s bad enough, okay? That he’s going to have to tell his six-year-old son that he’s dying. Each morning a little more than the last and some days feel like he’s already half-lowered into the ground.

And the others. Reid and those sad eyes. The way Morgan won’t be able to look at him, just avert his gaze and storm out of the room. Dave’s crushing hug and JJ’s silent tears. Garcia… He can only imagine the raging in-betweens of what the news will do to her. Stress baking cookies he won’t be able to stomach. Knitting him hats, sweaters, and blankets with feverish vigor that he won’t be able to escape.

He could use one of Garcia’s love knitted blankets right about now.

Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he relaxes his tight grip on the sink. Knuckles paled and fingers aching.

“Sorry,” Emily finally manages after the long moments of silence.

Hotch hangs his head, biting his lip hard to stop the flow of emotions trying to work their way up. “No,” he rasps, thickly. He sniffles, scoffing when he rubs his eyes with the back of his wrist, finding tears. “That was… inexcusable. I’m so sorry,” he leans down, body in half as he rests his forehead against the cool porcelain of the sink.

This doesn’t even feel like his body anymore.

“Aaron?”

There are tears streaming down his face, he’s too tired to fight them off. “Hmm?”

“I’ll see you soon.”

He hums in agreeance, unable to trust his voice.

“Take it easy, okay? I love you.”

The line dies before he can hasten out a reply.

--------------------------------

She’s been waiting on a reason to leave London for longer than she’s willing to admit.

Her dying friend proves to be reason enough.

Clyde has obvious mixed feelings but he can’t hold her back. He and Hotch had gotten set on the wrong foot. The rivalry between the two men is childish but endearing. Almost nothing has made her feel as loved as the proud smiles they both wear when she greets them. Clyde overwhelmingly pleased he’d won her back to London and Hotch smug she’ll travel hours to come to see him (she hadn’t done that for Clyde).

Almost nothing beats that.

“Emily!”

Her eyes are scanning the crowd before her, searching for her mismatched ragtag family. Sore thumbs, bobbing up and down in the crowd, they wave her to them. She notices he’s not there immediately.

“Princess,” Morgan sighs her name into her hair and she turns her face into his shoulder. Drawing in the strength she can feel wavering with a new wave of anxiety washing over her. It helps that they’re here. Derek’s arms wrapped around her after what feels like a lifetime away.

It’s only taken her three decades but she’s found her family and she’s not letting anything drag her away this time.

Garcia pushes at Morgan, causing a choked laugh out of them all. “Stop hogging all the Emily-lovings!”

Morgan smirks, trying to hide the relief swelling in his eyes like tears. He gets one more good look of her, eyes combing over her before parting with a sad smile. Relieved.

There’s a blur of motion. She’s pulled to each of them.

Garcia hugs like she’s trying to crush ribs and Emily lets her.

Hugging Dave brings tears to her eyes. Fuck, she’s missed them.

“Don’t make me chase you,” Emily threatens when she spots Reid near the edge. Pulling him close she rests her head against his shoulder, happy when he squeezes her back. “I’ve missed you, boy wonder.” Her genius. Just as scrawny as when she left him. She doesn’t want to do that again anytime soon.

Dave claps his hands together, grabbing one of the three bags she’d dropped. “Let’s get lunch, kiddos. We can talk about London.” He winks at Emily and she knows that this is going to spin into a conversation about potential love interests. She hasn’t had love on the brain in a while.

London… not everything she wishes it was. Cold and rainy. Relentlessly.

For the first month, she was over there, all she wanted was to come home. She just kept waiting for the rain to ease up. Then there should be that wet, hot humidity that clings to everything. She’d hated that before but now she’d just give anything to have it. For Reid to drag her out for coffee and the sun to bring out the chipper inflection in Garcia’s voice.

How the sun looked on Jack and Henry’s little head when she’d run around the park with them.

Fuck London, she’s just glad to be home.

“So,” she’s allowed them their fill of questions. Things about INTERPOL and if she’s still leaning heavily on take out food or if she’s managed even the faintest bit of finesse concerning cooking (she hasn’t). Leaning onto her elbows, she asks the question that’s been bugging her for hours. “Where’s Hotch?”

Dave leans back in his chair and JJ’s the first to crack. Of course, her poker face just isn’t that great. Her eyes move to Dave, concern written across her face. They might not know but it’s not that hard to figure out they know something isn’t right.

Reid shifts uncomfortably, averting his eyes, and focus.

“Your guess is as good as ours,” Dave informs her. He settles back in his chair, arms crossing on his chest. “He’s…” he sighs tiredly. For a moment he just shakes his head. Rubbing a hand over the coarse hair on his face and then rubbing at his eyes. “He’s Aaron,” Dave mumbles. “Complicated and… reserved.” He looks at her now, zeroed in on just her. Just them.

Her heart races at just the thought of them knowing.

JJ clears her throat. She distracts her worry with rubbing her nail at the glass. “He says he’s at meetings,” she tells Emily. “Says--” she shakes her head, flustered. Upset. Pulling in a breath, she shakes softly as it comes in. “Every day, he sends me an update email. Just a list of things he expects to get done for the day or places he might be.” JJ tucks a strand of her hair back from her face. “Our jobs circle around each other, a lot. It makes my life easier if I can find him without running all over the place.”

Morgan turns his head, away from the conversation. Wishing to be uninvolved but unable to escape.

“He’s lying,” JJ concludes. She worries her lip with her teeth. “His lists are…” her eyebrows furrow as she struggles to say exactly what she means. “Last week,” she says with a nod, having come up with her perfect example. “He said he’d be in a meeting. Didn’t tell me where, he always tells me where.” Her eyes scan over the table, looking for more. “Something’s wrong and he won’t tell us.”

Morgan huffs, shifted now so that his arms are wrapped tightly around himself. His legs crossed, even. Distant. “I don’t see why we don’t just let him be.” His tone betrays what he’s really feeling. That anger and the vulnerability. His words are reflexive. He’s always pushed away when things get tough.

Emily wants to rise to his defense or to say anything but she can’t.

“Reid went into his office yesterday--”

Reid flinches. The memory or the feeling, he draws himself in. Shielding himself from whatever is being said.

Garcia looks down at her lap.

“He was asleep at his desk,” Dave finishes, despite seeing just how uncomfortable Garcia and Reid look. “Out like a-- Asleep like he hadn’t rested in a while. It took-- I had to shake him awake. He was warm to the touch and shaking.” Dave looks down to the table. “Shaking. He was weak and I’d known,” he looks up, frowning sadly. “I’d known something was wrong before but whatever is, we’ve got to get to the bottom of it.”

The bottom of it… God, they’re going to be devastated.

Lunch brightens. It’s forced to when the conversation shifts to the children. To Henry starting fourth grade and Jack’s in middle school now. Since when did those babies grow up?

Sooner than maybe she’s ready for it, she has to leave them. She’s too tired, too jet-lagged.

And maybe… Maybe she’s ready to bother Hotch. To reacquaint herself with his grumpy, silent nature. Isn’t it silly to think she’d hated him once?

Now she knows where his house keys are hidden.

The key hits the lock and she realizes how this might not be as great of a plan as she had planned it to be. “Hotch,” she calls into the dark. She peaks around, hoping if he’s home he’s not on edge. She’s seen him hypervigilant, she knows this is an awful plan. Even calling ahead might not have been enough. So, it’s more than brave for her to just come barging in.

She puts her back near the coat rack, still hunched into herself in case he comes barreling around the corner. He doesn’t. “Aaron?” His car is out front, despite the darkness of the room suggesting the house is empty. The blinds are drawn shut, blocking all-natural light into the house. The air is cool. “Aaron if you’re here please, please don’t shoot me.”

Shutting the door behind her, she progresses into the living room. The creaking of floorboards draws her attention to the other side of the house and she spots him.

He comes around the corner of the hall, from the direction of his room. Tired eyes move up to find her, his lip quirks into half a smile. “Emily,” he greets under his breath. He’d heard the door open but the binds weighing his wrist and ankles to the bed had been too much for him to lift. Pained and slowed, he’d made his way to figure out who was home.

Certain it’s not Jack, he should have had a little more trepidation about coming out here to investigate.

She approaches him slowly, soaking in every line and angle of his body. The way he’s favoring his right side is a new thing but the crescent moons under his eyes are a comforting familiarity. Pulling in a breath, she drags her eyes all the way up to him. He’s lost some weight and it just makes his cheekbones that much more hauntingly sharp. It draws attention to the scars on his face, thin and aged.

With a smile, she shakes her head at him. “Just as ugly as when I left,” she informs him.

He smiles tiredly, sighing at her playful taunt. It makes the hug she pulls him into relieving. The aches and chills he’s felt all day lessen as she wraps her arms around him. Something about the way her hand cups the back of his neck while the other rubs his up along his spine.

She’s standing on the tips of her toes, stretching to get to him. He leans down into her, closing his eyes. She just holds him that much closer. Against her, she can feel the beating of his heart. The way his nerves had amped his heart rate up and now, as the beat slows, the way he calms under her touch.

“How are you?” she asks quietly. They pull apart and she feels the absence of his warmth immediately.

He pulls in a weak breath, one he lets out a strangled cough. Shakes his head and offers a shrug. “I’m okay,” he assures her.

She doesn’t fail to notice how his right hand shakily reaches out to steady him against the wall. They’ve never agreed on the definition of okay and, so, it’s not that surprising they wouldn’t now.

Burying a cough into the elbow of his arm, he starts to tremble. His breathing takes a heavy quality as he stands there. It takes only a moment for him to draw himself up to his full height, swallowing down against the pain and forcing his body to bend to his will. If she didn’t know better, nothing would look wrong at all.

“Can I get you anything,” he asks, clenching his teeth to keep steady despite how exhausted he feels. “How long are you staying?” He knows she won’t actually answer that first question, so he steps by her and lets her follow him into the kitchen. Hyper-aware of the way he moves his body. Trying to look normal instead of stiff.

She follows him, watching for clues in the slips of his armor. One of the many benefits of having known him so long and knowing him well is that he can’t get much past her. “I’m staying for as long as I’m welcome,” she replies. It’s better than the truth, that she’s staying until he’s better.

He appreciates her choice of wording even if the truth is still there underneath it all. Leaving him the burden of the situation, which is considerably worse.

He sticks with a simple hum of understanding, knowing she’ll understand it as such. “Staying where,” he asks. Suspecting he already knows the answer. “Here?” He fills two glasses with water, desperate to soothe his dry mouth. Turning to her, he offers the first glass.

She accepts the glass without comment. “I didn’t think about where,” she lies, smirking over the glass rim at him. He shakes his head but doesn't comment. “Here would be good though.” She looks up at him and he shakes his head with a smile. “It would!” she defends. “I know you miss me and I could help around with Jack. If you won’t admit to it, I know he will.” Her smile twists mischievously, “besides, he’s my favorite Hotchner and I’ll make time to spend with him regardless of where I stay.”

He shakes his head but he’s already formulating how to move the guest room around to accommodate her. There’s not much in there. A bed with some regular looking sheets and two or three boxes of random things.

Putting her glass down on the counter she sighs. “We don’t need to worry about that right now.” Nodding her head back towards the hall she says, “you look miserable. Go to bed.”

He realizes that while she was talking he’s slowly started leaning more and more on the counter. Accumulating a lean to ease the aches wracking his body. She’s right. He looks miserable because he is. He’s exhausted.

“Do you need to take any medication?”

He shakes his head, not letting it bother him when she tucks herself against his side. Allowing him to lean into her. He doesn't but the warmth her body brings is pleasant enough to keep him going.

He took everything he needed this morning. The medicine for the radiation rash he’s developed across his chest, the preventative pills for the fibrosis that might build in his lungs because of the radiation, and a whole other list of things he can’t really remember. He just has the bottles on his nightstand and knows that most require two dosages.

His bed is warm and soft, his eyes closing against his will. Logically, he knows he shouldn’t let her see him like this. This is his battle and he doesn’t want to burden anyone else with it. There’s a comfort in sharing, though. Rather it be the brush of her fingers on his forehead, pushing back his crazy or the kiss she presses to his temple before whispering “get some sleep, Hotch”.

And, honestly, he’s tired of being alone.

“Emily?”

She turns in the doorway.

“Thank you.”

Someone has to be here. She wants to be here. “You’d do the same for me.”

--------------------------------

Legs crossed, hair pulled into a half-assed knot atop her head she watches him curiously. He’s up an hour later than she’d expected. No coffee to go along with the egg he has for breakfast. Between them, they have an entire morning spent without nearly a word. Just a simple, “do you want an egg?”

He gets ready but not for work.

“What’re you doing?”

She gets ready too. For what, she’s not sure, but she’s interested none-the-less. Even if she thinks she knows the answer. It’s very interesting, she thinks, to step into the living room and find him staring dumbly back at her. No, not interesting. It’s fun.

Stepping around him, she pulls her coat off the rack. “Isn’t it obvious,” she asks, slipping her feet into the boots. “I’m coming with you.”

Flannel and jeans aren’t his typical go to but it’s a relaxed look. One she finds she doesn't hate.

He crosses his arms on his chest, eyebrows furrowed and a stern frown in place. Startlingly in control for a man she watched choke down half an egg before calling it quits. He hadn’t even had coffee. Now he shifts his weight, left to right. “Emily this isn’t--” he just stands with his mouth open. After a moment he shakes his head. “You don’t want to come.”

So it is treatment.

She pulls her jacket tight around her shoulders and without comment pulls his down too, offering it to him.

He takes it with a sigh, shaking his head, but pulling the sleeves over his flannel. With a sigh, he grabs his keys off the counter. He points a finger at her, looking every bit the father scolding a troublemaking child. “You’re not coming inside the hospital. It’ll be an hour. You’ll drive someplace else. I’ll text you when it’s done.”

She smirks, pleased she’s won this round. Placing two fingers to her temple, she gives him a mocking salute. “Aye-aye captain!” Today, she won’t push. He’s come this far, weeks into his therapy. If he needs some time, then he needs time. Just so long as he knows she’s here now.

Leaving him is harder than she anticipated.

She takes his seat, half-listening as he stands at the door.

“There an outlet about five minutes North,” he says. He watches her move the seat around. Trying to drag the seat closer to the steering wheel so she can actually reach the pedals. “It’ll give you something to do. There’s a bookshop up there too. I-- I take Jack there.” He runs a hand over his hair. “A coffee shop and a smoothie stand and--”

She catches sight of the grey through his hair. Looking away, she clenches her jaw. Worry the edge of the steering wheel. “Aaron,” she finally stops him. “I can take care of myself for an hour. I’m a big girl.”

He shakes his head, ducking to so she can’t see the blush creep up his cheek. “Right,” he manages. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

She nods, “an hour.” She waits until she can’t see him. Those doors closing behind him. Swallowing him whole. It’s just an hour.

She was gone for an entire year. More than that really. Years. What are years to a single hour?

The coffee shop is quant. She can imagine him here. Tucked away within the stacks of books. Reid would like it here. The covers are old but, she thinks with a smile, he’d find something, not to date. Seeking a classic and turning away when it’s not in its original translation. That’s where Garcia has always been his balance. She’d pull him from a rant and sit him down with a cup of tea.

How had Emily ever left them?

Her hands tremble as she runs a finger over those old book backs. Mostly, she wonders what Hotch must be thinking. Heaven or hell. If all the work they’ve put into this job will account for anything at all in the end.

If it’ll hurt.

Her phone goes off. Done. Simple enough.

“I brought you a smoothie!” She’s got his sunglasses on when she pulls up. Not even offering to get out of the driver’s side.

He’s hurting more than he cares to admit. Tired and the rash on his chest burns. Seeing her pull up, he’s glad she doesn’t do more than hook her finger into the sunglasses and peer over their edge at him. Climbing into the car he takes one look at the smoothie and shakes his head. It’s dark green and even if he were hungry he’s sure that isn’t very good. “No thank you,” he mumbles, leaning back into the seat. He tilts his head against the rest.

She’s not really in the mood for arguments. More so, he’s just gotten out of treatment and all he’s had is an egg. “You’ll drink it,” she informs him, putting the car in drive. “Maybe not now but eventually.”

He grunts. Doubt that. If he’s going to manage to stomach anything, it’s not going to be that. Besides, he’d got plans: take a nap. That slowly goes down the drain.

Emily turns up the radio, humming along to a song he doesn’t recognize.

Turning his head, he watches her drive. He hasn’t told her yet but he’s very thankful she’s come back. Even if he’s slightly tainted the return with… She’s here taking over his life. Worming her way into his spare bedroom. Force-feeding him weird green smoothies. He doubts she’ll stop there.

“Hotch?” He doesn’t wake up when she shuts the car off. From there on, she’s gentle. Careful as she extracts herself from the car. “Aaron,” she rubs his shoulder.

He pulls in a small breath, turning slowly to her. Half-lidded eyes find her, confused.

When they left the house he’d looked better. Better than now. Not so exhausted.

“You fell asleep,” she informs him, backing up as he sits up. He has to use the seat to get there but he makes it happen. She waits back for him, letting him take his time getting out of the car. All while holding that damn smoothie she’s convinced she’s going to make him drink.

He’s rubbing the sleep from his eyes when his phone goes off in his pocket. She turns at the door, waiting. He motions her on with a wave, taking the call. “Agent Hotchner speaking.”

She stops for a moment to watch him pull in the whole persona. Not Aaron who just fell asleep in the car but Hotch the rock. It’s sad, really, how quickly the one consumes the other.

She’s reading on the couch when he comes in.

He doesn’t say anything as he slips past, going back towards his room. He comes right back out. The loosely buttoned flannel is forgotten, replaced by a suit across his thin shoulders. Once, those suits had pronounced the sharpness of his body. The way his shoulders sit strong and straight. Now, that jacket doesn’t even look like it belongs to him.

“Where are you going?”

He only glances at her, ducking his head back to the task at hand-- putting on shoes.

She gets up off the couch, flipping the book text down. “Aaron,” she comes around the side. “You can’t go out there.” To work. It’s not healthy to go out there. He had fallen asleep on the ride home, not even twenty minutes ago. He won’t manage out there.

He turns to her as she steps into the room, scowl in place and a look of indifference pulled between them. All the protection he can garner for himself. “It’s not up for debate,” he replies. As if this is out of his control. He just can’t help but think it would be easier this way. It would hurt less, dying out there. A coherent death. He’d feel it. Quick and overwhelming.

But coherent. He’d know.

Not in a hospital. More machine than man. Unable to speak or too weak to think.

It would be better to die a hero.

“Aaron,” she calls, he’s just walking away. “You’re being unreasonable.” She wants to scream. To shout at him or grab him the collar of that oversized dress shirt and shake him. Force him to realize that he’s being stupid. Does he think she’s stupid? They both know this is self-destruction. Skipping treatment. Going into the field. All for this stupid image that he’s convinced himself is necessary. For who? Huh?

It’s better to suffer around people you love than to have them bury you. The only burden is the weight of your casket across their shoulders.

He turns, teeth clenched. Jaw set. “Am I?” he asks. His face has darkened, his cheekbones drawing his cheeks in. “I’m going,” he informs her, “regardless of whatever it is you have to say.”

He won’t look at her. That’s how she knows that no matter how illogical he’s being, he knows exactly what he’s doing. Back turned to her, he stops for just a moment. He knows this isn’t what he should. That this is neither his best option nor the right choice. Still, he opens the door. Stepping out he turns his head, eyes cast to the side. “I--” he shakes his head, he doesn’t know.

Before he can shut the door she calls his name out, fear overriding the anger. “Aaron,” she clenches her fists at her side. “Please be safe.”

His adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he swallows thickly. Glancing at her, he nods his head. At least he has the decency not to lie to her. To pretend this is anything but foolish and a death wish. He shuts the door behind himself without another word.

Leaving her standing there.

Waiting.

She’ll still be waiting that night when Reid calls her. Incoherent.

“I-- I don’t know what’s wrong Emily! He won’t-- He’s bleeding and I--I… He said to call you.”

She shouldn’t have let him leave.

@laiba-the-person, @emily-hottie-prentiss, @unionjackpillow, @clockedstar, @baumarvel, @blakeprentiss, @qvid-pro-qvo, @aaron-hotchner187, @ssalavellan

#tw cancer #haha assholes #I bet you thought I wouldn't hit you with a cliffhanger #emily is super involved in this chapter but the next chapter has lot more of the team in it #aaron hotchner hiding medical issues like he would #stubborn ass #you gotta love him tho #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #emily prentiss #derek morgan #david rossi #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #spencer reid #bau

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hotchley · 3 years

Text

so why can’t you see (you belong with... each other?)

@whoreforthebauteam I don’t know if you want to be tagged in every chapter, but it was your present, so I am, I hope that’s okay!!

I take back what I said last time, this is my favourite scenario.

This is stupid, wildly inaccurate, probably an insult to every dance teacher that has ever walked the planet and also... just really stupid. But I had fun writing it, it’s almost 11:30pm, I’m tired and yeah.

We’re going with it. Ignore any errors and lack of continuity, I wrote most of this whilst fasting and literally just wanted to get it done so I can work on mr scratch

Erm, updates will probably be even worse after this because I have exams coming up and the next thing is completely... I don’t have any ideas, but yeah- just a heads up

previously: part one , part two , part three

read on ao3!

Chapter Four: Attempt Three- Penelope Garcia

Penelope Garcia loved love, in every single one of its forms. Her unfailing belief in love and its goodness was one of the things that defined who she was. It let her look at screens filled with horrors and was one of the biggest reasons for her to smile.

She loved the romantic love she had for Marissa. She loved the way Derek looked at Spencer when he thought nobody was watching him. She loved the platonic love JJ had for Hotch, and the way she would slip him chocolates when he seemed more pale than usual. She loved the love of a father Aaron had for Spencer, even though neither had experienced it properly.

She loved the ways in which people found love, and how they clung to it. She loved the way it made people smile and the things they were willing to do for it.

Which was why breaking up with Kevin had been the best decision about love she ever made. Because Kevin did not love her in the way that she deserved. And when she walked away from him one last time, she had felt relieved. Not sad, or angry. Relieved.

JJ and Emily had been ecstatic when she'd turned up at their apartment with a bottle of wine. They hadn't liked Kevin much, they thought he was a bit dodgy and not worth her time, but because she had seemed happy and it was easy to keep an eye on him to make sure he wasn't being a creep, they'd refrained from saying anything too obvious.

That same evening, she had phoned Derek and Spencer, who also then dropped their plans and they ended up having an impromptu party on a work night because she was finally free of Kevin and his existence.

When they turned up the next day, slightly hungover, Hotch had seemed like a disapproving parent- they'd exited the elevator with groans and complaints, Penelope massaging her forehead- and immediately gone silent when they realised he was standing there, holding a file, scowl looking slightly harsher than usual.

"It's lovely of you to join us. In the future, if you're going to be running three hours late, please inform either me or Rossi. Hell, tell Strauss. We've had people trying to track you down for the past hour and a half. Poor Anderson looked like he was going to resign from the FBI, and his face is never going to be the same after the frown lines you gave him," he had said, voice completely even.

"Hotch we're really sorry, we genuinely did not mean to cause such a big problem-" JJ had started, the first to recover.

He gave them one of his small, secretive smiles that seemed to light up his entire face and soften his eyes. "I'm joking. Everyone's fine. But seriously, please do tell us, we were beginning to worry. Is everyone okay though? It's not like you five to all be late on the same day."

Spencer looked between Penelope and Emily, who were smirking at each other, whilst JJ and Derek sighed but glared at the two mischief causers, warning them to not give away too much.

"I broke up with Kevin," Penelope blurted out.

Hotch's smile faded, and a look of concern settled over his features. "Oh, Penelope. Are you okay? Do you need some time off? You have lots of leave, I can clear it now if you'd like me to, there's no problem."

She started laughing. "Sir, we were having a party. I was never fully happy with him and breaking up with him was like- it was like coming into the office after a very annoying person was stuck with me during a case and finding that my handsome Unit Chief has sent me flowers."

Hotch seemed secretly proud that Penelope had broken up with Kevin because he had also never been a big fan of him, a fact that he had never really kept secret. When she mentioned the flowers he had sent her, many years ago, his jaw dropped.

"You never-"

"I wanted to let you think I didn't know. Now, shall we go?"

"Of course. Dave will probably want to hear about your reactions to my speech." When he saw how shocked they all looked, he continued. "It wasn't my idea!"

And Kevin had been completely forgotten by all of them.

Three months later, Penelope had met Marissa. As cliche as it was, they met a coffee shop. Their orders had been mixed up- she'd ended up with a flat white instead of the new toffee flavoured latte she had wanted to try- and neither had realised until it was too late.

When she'd gone back the next day, the barista had handed her a coffee without her even placing an order. She'd tried to tell them that she hadn't asked for it, but they had simply smiled at her, then pointed at Marissa, who had waved her over. Said that she wasn't a big fan of toffee, but she thought the pretty woman's boldness was something she wanted to be too, and if Penelope was willing to go on a walk with her.

One thing led to another, and a month later, they were officially dating. Penelope had never been happier in a relationship. Marissa's sarcasm and dry sense of humour balanced out her brightness and inappropriate jokes, but it wasn't just that made them compatible. It was everything else too. They just fit. And when Penelope stared into her eyes, still so mesmerised by them almost seven months later, she could see a future that would've never been able to have with Kevin.

Marissa was a dance teacher. Primarily contemporary and ballet, but she was thinking about branching into ballroom dancing, and it was exactly that fact that sparked Penelope's idea. Her original idea had involved flash mobs and individual confessions of love, but she also wanted to respect that Hotch enjoyed his privacy. And that he didn't like a fuss to be made of him, ever, even when it really was needed.

She didn't tell the others that she was planning anything, otherwise they would've started asking and it was such a good idea that she just wouldn't have been able to keep the knowledge to herself. It wasn't anything bad, she just didn't want to tell them and have it fall through because Marissa wasn't able or comfortable with doing it.

It was date night when her plan began. She had taken Marissa ice-skating, which had been an incredible experience and something that always made her feel like she was flying. Apparently some of the other people had taken some photos of them, holding each other and laughing at their own antics, so she was waiting for them to download. Marissa was laughing at something a child was doing, sipping her hot chocolate as she tried to warm herself up.

And Penelope knew, it was then or never.

"Sweetness, remember when you said you wanted to start teaching ballroom?" she asked suddenly.

Marissa tucked her hair behind her ear. "Yeah, but I still think it might be risky, because I've never been taught how to teach it and I don't want to mess it up."

Penelope took her hands and Marissa smiled. In some way, it reminded her of the way Hotch smiled- small and subtle, but absolutely everything to witness.

"If you want to do it, then you should. And I've seen you teach before, there's no way you could mess this up. But, and this is completely up to you, I have an idea. It could benefit both of us."

“Both of us? What is this plan?”

“You need to practice on someone to gain some confidence. So practice on my team. They’ll be delighted to help you, and then we can all spend more time together. They really like you. Much more than anyone else I’ve introduced them to. They’ll say yes.”

“Would they? It would be amazing if they did.”

“Of course they will.”

“Penelope, I love you so much. Thank you for doing this. I’m confused though. What do you get out of this?”

“The opportunity to go down in history as the best Cupid the world has ever seen.”

"What on earth- actually don't tell me now, I'll end up spilling your plan to the people involved," Marissa said, snuggling closer. Penelope pressed a kiss to her hair, smiling at the thought of spending more time with her girlfriend and winning the bet.

The next day, she went and sat with everyone in the bullpen, balancing her laptop on her knees as she worked. The rest of the team were working on individual consults, but Derek and JJ had decided to spend some time with their partners instead of just sitting in their offices. Rossi was doing his work from his office, and Hotch was in a meeting with Strauss and the Director. He hadn't seemed happy about it.

"Guys, what would you do if I said I can get Hotch and Rossi together but I need you to come to Marissa's practice run of a ballroom dancing lesson in order for it to work?" she asked, not even looking up from her screen.

"Start from the beginning," JJ said.

"Nope, because that will ruin my plan. Would you?"

“I mean, if Spencer didn’t mind, I would go. Any excuse to dance with the prettiest boy I know,” Derek said, a small and loving smile plastered across his face.

Spencer looked down slightly, cheeks tinged with a blush. “If it’ll help the two of them be happy, then fine, yes. But only if you promise to not make any comments if I’m not good at it.”

“Spencer, of course we won’t judge, dancing can be quite hard. And it’s not going to be a super serious session, it’s a trial run for Marissa and my attempt at getting them together, so it’s not the end of the world. JJ? Emily?”

“If Will can take Henry for the day, then sure, otherwise I don’t think I’ll be able to make it, is that okay?” JJ said, already pulling her phone out to see whether or not he was available. He responded moments later, saying it would be fine, and Penelope smiled.

“Sure. I’m excited to see whether your plan can top mine,” Emily said.

Penelope grinned. “Great! I’ll see you all at ten on Saturday then. Now I just need to get the two of them to agree…”

As she headed up to Rossi’s office, the four remaining team members all gave each other identical looks of fear. They knew that, realistically, Penelope’s plan couldn’t be that wild or dangerous, but they also knew how fiercely determined she could be when there was something she wanted to achieve. They also knew how adamant she was that everybody would find love, they just needed to be ready and willing. So they really had no idea what they were getting themselves into.

They assured themselves they would be fine, because they weren’t the ones being set up. And then they immediately felt extreme amounts of relief at the fact that Penelope had never once turned her match-making skills to them.

Rossi was working on the paperwork he’d stolen from Hotch’s office when Penelope knocked, popping her head around the door. The open blinds meant the team were able to watch through the window, and they did. They weren’t profiling, they were just observing for a bit of fun and to try and see whether or not they’d be able to get any more information from their exchange.

“Sir, what are your opinions on ballroom dancing?” she asked, not even bothering with hello.

“It’s okay. I don’t have particularly strong opinions on it either way. Why?” Rossi responded.

“Because Marissa would like to find out whether or not she would be able to teach ballroom dancing, so I have offered us up as guinea pigs for her to test on but she obviously can’t just do it with two couples, so I was wondering whether you’d be willing to come or if I needed to ask Anderson,” she said, tone not indicating any sort of ulterior motive whatsoever.

“If she’s teaching, you would need to be her partner so she could demonstrate. Who exactly is my partner?”

“Hotch of course. Sir, he could never say no to you. He loves you too much- us. He loves us too much. To say no. Or to deny us something small like this,” she said, realising as she spoke that it was too much, too soon.

Rossi went to deny that Hotch loved him- in any way, not just the one he’d found himself thinking about as he’d washed the singular plate and singular wine glass the previous night- but found that he couldn’t. Because Penelope was right. In some way, Hotch loved every single member of the team, in a way that Max Ryan and Jason Gideon would never have been brave enough to do.

It filled him with pride, a little sadness, and something close to admiration that he was too much of a coward to properly define. And then he realised that he had gone too long without speaking, because Penelope was beginning to shift uncomfortably.

“Sir? Are you okay? You kinda… disappeared for a moment there,” she said.

“I’m okay, just thinking. Of course I’ll tag along to the dance lesson, if only to give Morgan a few funnier nightmares. When is it?”

Penelope grinned, so wide and so beautifully, it almost hurt. He pushed the thought from his head. She was never going to lose her faith in the beauty of people. Not whilst she was able to find the beauty in everything, and not whilst she smiled without any shame or hesitance.

“Saturday and ten, unless we get a case, and if we do, we’ll sort it out after. Does that work for you?”

Even if hadn’t, he would’ve completely rearranged his career to make it. He didn’t just want to give Derek some funny nightmares. He also wanted to spend time with the team, and watch Hotch morph into Aaron as he smiled unabashedly and was dressed in casual clothes- he needed to get a grip.

“Of course it does. Thank you for inviting me,” he said, hoping that would end the conversation.

It did. When Garcia closed the door behind her, he groaned, then buried himself in the paperwork. Nothing would distract him more than trying to come up with a real justification for the BAU technology budget (Aaron’s preliminary notes just said: they don’t have to deal with a pouting Penelope.)

She just gave a thumbs up to the team, then went back into the bullpen. As she set about making her own tea, she realised that Hotch had returned from his meeting. It hurt a bit, to see him look so exhausted and disheartened. He always was, when he returned from those meetings with the Director, even with Strauss acting as a buffer between the two of them. So she made him one of her special coffees- with the added caramel and hazelnut milk- before heading up to his office, not bothering to knock because he had spent so long trying to convince them all it was fine to not knock that she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“Oh hello Garcia. Did you need something?” he asked.

She set the coffee down and took the seat opposite. “Not in the conventional way.”

He smiled at the drink, taking a single sip, and some of the light returned to his eyes. “Oh? What do you mean?”

“Well you know Marissa right?”

“Of course I do, she’s lovely. Penelope, I really don’t think I’m the best person to come to if you need advice. Surely Derek or JJ would be better?”

“I don’t need advice silly,” she said with a smile, because her boss was just so good to all of them. “I need you to come to the dance studio on Saturday at ten because she wants to start teaching ballroom dancing and I’ve offered us up as test subjects.”

He blinked, and she realised how rude her demand had sounded.

“Only if you and Jack didn’t have plans and if you’re willing and actually able to of course,” she added hastily.

“Are you sure you want me there? I’m not… the best dancer, and I don’t want Marissa to be discouraged just because I have two left feet,” he said, looking slightly hesitant, but like he would say yes with a bit of encouragement.

“Sir, the worst of a dancer you are, the better. But I’ve saw you with Haley. You could give Derek a run for his money. There’s no pressure. I just wanted to ask because Derek, Spencer, Emily and JJ are acting as the other two couples. Rossi said he would come, but if you can’t make it-”

“Dave agreed?” Aaron cut in, meeting her eyes properly for the first time since they started talking. There was something behind the shock and slight glee that made her feel warm inside. She had been right- they both just needed a push.

“Yeah, he said the timing works for him. If it doesn’t for you-”

“No, it’s perfect. Jack doesn’t need to spend every waking moment with me, and he’s actually got a soccer camp that weekend, so I would’ve been in the apartment alone anyways. Of course I’ll come. It’s for you and Marissa after all,” he said, giving her the same smile usually reserved for Jack.

And Dave.

“Oh sir, thank you, thank you, thank you! Marissa is going to be so excited when I tell her! I promise you, even if it’s a disaster, you’ll have fun, and she will appreciate it more than you could ever imagine!”

“Penelope, it’s okay,” Hotch said with a slight laugh. “I’m not doing anything that out there.”

“I know that. But you’re just a good boss. You always have been,” she said, getting up and going to the door.

Hotch blushed and looked down. “Penelope…”

“Yes?” she asked, turning back.

“What does- what should I wear?”

She had to bite back a laugh, because there was her fierce Unit Chief, who had barely blinked when a gun was fired just to the left of his good ear, staring at her like she carried all the answers, with flushed cheeks, asking what he should wear to a dance lesson where the ulterior motive was to get him with his best friend. Not that he knew about that.

“Anything that’s comfortable,” she said, then left.

Marissa was indeed very happy when she found out, and when Penelope watched her face break into a grin as she processed the knowledge, she realised that happiness didn’t come from a relationship, but sharing it was amazing.

By some miracle, no out of town cases crossed their desks, which meant Saturday morning saw them all at the dance studio, dressed in t-shirts and sweatpants, stretching so they didn’t pull a muscle.

Hotch had paled slightly as Marissa explained that one.

“Okay, so what I’m going to have you do is pair up, and face each other. First I’ll describe how you’re meant to position your arms, then you’ll try and do it, and I’ll correct you if you’re wrong. Then I’ll just need you to follow my lead- I’ll demonstrate with Penelope. We’ll go from there. Is that good with everyone?” she said, after everyone had stretched for an adequate amount of time.

“Of course,” Derek said. Spencer nodded, looking slightly nervous, but Derek noticed and immediately placed a hand on his back to try and soothe him. It worked. JJ and Emily also nodded. Rossi grinned, and Hotch seemed hesitant, but stood up nonetheless.

“Great, so if you could all just turn and face your partners,” Marissa said, grinning when she took Penelope’s hands to press a kiss to them.

Derek and Spencer snickered at each other, which set off JJ and Emily, but Dave wouldn’t quite meet Aaron’s eyes. He was too afraid of meeting his eyes. Those beautiful and caring brown eyes that always sparkled with love whenever he saw his son, or his former sister-in-law that had really been his sister ever since Haley first confessed to her about her crush on him, all those years ago.

“Dave, are you okay to lead?” Marissa asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, sure. Aaron is that okay?” he asked.

Aaron nodded, cheeks slightly flushed. “Course it is.”

“Great, so just place your arms… like this,” Marissa said, moving him slightly. It meant he was close enough to hear Aaron’s heartbeat. It was slightly erratic, and he frowned, wondering why. It wasn’t like him to be nervous about something like this.

“Okay, so ballroom dancing obviously covers a wide range of dance styles, so to keep things simple, we’re just going to a waltz. So hands where I’ve told you to put them- Spencer and Derek I am looking at you, and follow my instructions as best you can. We’ll go from there.”

Spencer laughed, whilst Derek pretended to be scandalised. Emily gagged, and Aaron couldn’t contain his laugh at their antics. It was the most beautiful thing Dave had ever heard, so fearless and carefree that it physically hurt him, and he was well and truly screwed. To try and move past the feeling in his stomach that he most certainly was not going to name, he placed his hands exactly where Marissa had told him, noting that Aaron’s breath seemed to catch in his throat. He told himself to not to read into it.

Which was funny, because Aaron was telling himself that he needed to get his heartbeat under control. That there was no deeper reason behind Dave’s refusal to meet his eyes. There was a completely reasonable explanation for the goosebumps that seemed to be spreading under his shirt, and there was no way he had been holding his breath without realising, only releasing it when Dave ran his hands down his arms.

“Okay, so person that’s leading, step this way,” Marissa instructed.

Dave did exactly as she said with no hesitation. Aaron flushed as the realisation that they were about to be dancing together, with all of their subordinates there to witness any failures. It was strange, but he felt like both Marissa and Penelope were watching him more intently than the others.

Dave had said everything would be fine, that there was nothing going on, but he couldn��t help the uneasy feeling forming in his stomach. The same feeling he instinctively got every time Jack appeared with glitter in his hands. He wondered when he started seeing the members of his team as children.

He also wondered how soon he’d be able to retire, now that more and more parallels between the qualified FBI agents who were trusted to carry weapons and talk down killers and his seven-year-old son were becoming clear.

“Where’s your mind gone?” Rossi asked, pulling him back into the moment.

Hotch stumbled slightly, but Dave’s arms were solid and firm around him, keeping him upright and leading him around their little area as though it was the most natural thing in the world to him.

“Nowhere interesting,” he said. Dave was always so smart, and everything he said had a purpose. If he knew Aaron was thinking about the younger members of the team as children, he’d never hear the end of it.

Dave stepped back, pulling Aaron flush against him as Marissa demonstrated exactly what they were meant to be doing. Aaron turned so Dave wouldn’t see the colour rise to his cheeks. It was beautiful to see the other members of his team, just having fun and enjoying themselves like there was nothing wrong in the world.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit. Even if nobody else does, I find that brain of yours fascinating, no matter what it is you’re coming out with.”

“I was just thinking about the team. And how far they’ve come. And how I have no idea when I became their pseudo-parent, but that it doesn’t fill me with fear anymore,” he confessed.

“You’ve come so far too. And you’ve always been like family to them,” Dave said. Family. Nothing more. Certainly not anything romantic.

Hotch couldn’t help but laugh. “If Max heard you say we were like a family-”

“He’d murder me and they’d never catch him. I know.”

“Guys you’ve done really well, and this has really helped me, so I think we’re good to call it a day now. We’ll just do some cool-down stretches and then you can all go back to normal and pretend this never happened. Unless you want to go for lunch. That’s also an option,” Marissa said with a slight laugh.

“Lunch would be amazing, I’m starving,” JJ said.

Derek shrugged. “We don’t have any plans, do we, pretty boy?”

Spencer shook his head. “Also Marissa said she would try and show me that new magic trick, and lunch would be the perfect time to try and understand how it works.”

“Aaron?” Marissa asked.

From behind her, Emily and Derek cringed. It was stupid, but hearing Hotch be referred to as Aaron always felt weird. It didn’t matter whether it was Jessica, Erin, Marissa or Dave doing it, there was just something about their boss being known as anything but his nickname that felt like calling a parent their first name.

“If I won’t be intruding,” he said.

“Never!” Penelope exclaimed, grinning even wider when she realised that Dave’s hands were still on Hotch’s waist. She tapped Marissa on the shoulder, subtly gesturing to the sight. Marissa had very quickly realised what was going on, so a lot of what she had done was to try and aid the attempt.

“But before we do, Dave, do you mind if I use you and Aaron to demonstrate one last thing? It won’t take long, I just want to do it before we go,” she said.

Derek frowned, and Penelope let out a quiet gasp when she realised that Marissa didn’t really want to demonstrate something, she wanted to push them even closer than the morning already had.

She was going to win the bet!

“Oh sure. Aaron, you mind being my partner one last time?” Dave teased.

“Never,” Aaron said, voice strangely vulnerable. Something flashed across Dave’s face, before he smirked and adjusted the way his hands were positioned.

Marissa led them through a different type of waltz. Aaron stumbled and missed the steps a few times, but Dave carried him through flawlessly, and was so confident as he glided around the small studio, Aaron following him without a shadow of doubt because of the trust between them, that it was almost impossible to pick up on.

“And Aaron, twirl into his arms!” Marissa shouted, as the music reached a climax and Dave let go of his one of his hands, forcing him to spin outwards. Her plan was for them to meet the others eyes, and see the love that everyone else had apparently picked up on, and do something about it.

What happened was slightly different.

Aaron overbalanced as he turned into Dave’s arms, which wouldn’t have been the end of the world. Unfortunately for everyone, at some point during the final dance, his laces had come undone. So not only did he overbalance, he stepped on the aforementioned undone lace. Which also would have been fine, if it had just been that, and that alone. But because it was combined with the overbalancing, he did not manage to meet Dave’s eyes and see something more than friendship reflected in them.

He did however, manage to make an absolute fool of himself as he fell to the ground, reflexes too slow to stop himself from hitting it face-first. The noise of pain he let out was enough to make Emily stop laughing at his misfortune.

Dave immediately crouched down next to him, gently turning him and shifting him into a sitting up position so they could check that he didn’t have a concussion or any other injuries.

“My face really hurts,” Aaron whined after blinking a few times, feeling more oriented.

“I mean you did hit the floor pretty hard,” Emily teased. When Penelope hit her arm, she pretended to look completely innocent.

“Aaron, I’m so sorry-” Marissa started.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, don’t feel guilty. Besides, that was the most fun I’ve had without Jack in a while. I would definitely do it again, just with my laces actually tied properly. Dave, why are you looking at me like that?” he rambled.

“I think you’ve broken your nose,” Dave said, sounding nonchalant but panicking because he had no idea what he was meant to do in this situation.

“Oh,” was all Aaron said.

Morgan leapt into action the moment he processed the words. “Dave, get him to the hospital. They can make sure that nothing else is wrong and fix his face properly, without causing more damage. And you’re his proxy. Because it’s just a minor thing, the rest of us don’t need to be there, but we will all go for lunch so that we’re together if there’s any news. Okay?”

Everyone nodded, quickly gathering their things and departing. Before she left, Garcia gave her boss a kiss on the forehead, feeling terrible that things had gone downhill, but also grateful that he wasn’t mad, had ended up having fun, and that Marissa’s confidence didn’t seem too shaken.

Derek shook his head as he watched the women argue over something, whilst Marissa showed Spencer the magic trick she had promised him. How the bet had gone from the joke it had started as to this was beyond him, but he wasn’t blind. He had seen them dancing. They loved each other. It was just a matter of making them realise that it was romantic, not platonic.

An idea was forming, but until they got confirmation that Hotch- not Aaron because that was weird, no matter what Marissa said- was fine, he would put any and all thoughts about it to one side. He was a bit annoyed at himself for being such a romantic though. It meant he needed to actually come up with a decent plan.

Hotch did end up being fun. The doctors were- in Morgan’s words- fix his face without causing more damage. And whilst he passed their tests without any issues, they did decide to keep him in overnight, just to make sure he didn’t have any sort of delayed confusion or injuries.

Dave stayed until visiting hours ended. A fact that was not lost on the rest of the team.

Before he left, Aaron called out his name, and he turned.

“Yes?”

“Thank you for staying,” Aaron whispered.

“It wasn’t difficult to. It’s never been difficult with you,” he replied, wishing he could put it more eloquently, but he had no idea how to.

Aaron just smiled, wishing he could say something intelligent too, but he was tired and his head was killing him. “Have a nice evening Dave,” he settled on in the end. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

“Sweet dreams Aaron,” Dave said. It didn’t sound sarcastic, so Aaron smiled.

He dreamt of dances and double beds and drenched shirts, but throughout all of it, Dave seemed to be watching over him like a guardian angel, so the sleep he had was peaceful. Strange, but peaceful.

He would cling to that feeling of peace when he entered the office on Monday, because something was definitely going on.

Only it seemed like Derek was plotting. Aaron wasn’t sure how he felt about that. All Derek knew was that soon, the other members of the BAU would be buying him coffee and deeming him the best matchmaker of all time.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fic #aaron hotchner x david rossi #hossi #hotch x rossi #aaron hotchner #david rossi #emily prentiss #derek morgan #spencer reid #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #sumayyah writes cm

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forgottenyogurtgods · 3 years

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Author stuff: Alright, picking up right where we left off! Sorry this took so long. I couldn’t find a bit of research ANYWHERE and it’s super annoying, so I eventually gave up and decided to omit it until I can actually slip it in at some point.

Also, Alya is now actively involved!

no body, no crime

by forgottenyogurtgods

Summary: [I think he did it but I just can’t prove it. No, no body, no crime But I ain’t letting up until the day I die.]

Adrien is a Swiftie. To be fair, who isn’t? And her Evermore album? Chef’s kiss! Except… one song put an idea in his head and now he can’t get it out.

Inspired by this tumblr post.

Chapter 3/?

[First chapter] [Last Chapter]

Episode 3

Two years ago, Emilie Agreste vanished without a trace. Her car was found abandoned on the side of the road, just outside of Paris. All of her things were still inside.

No one has seen or heard from her since that night.

The police are officially calling it a missing person’s case.

I am your host, Adrian Agreste, and I plan to use this podcast docu-series to find out what happened to my mother and prove to the world that my father killed her.

The investigation on my mother’s disappearance wasn’t that deep of an investigation. It barely scratched the surface. It was all for show.

No one was putting in any effort to find out what happened to her. But why?

Well, that’s actually pretty easy to figure out. My father has a lot of influence here in Paris. There’s no getting around that. He… he can pay off people or threaten them, if it comes to it, to keep their silence or to make sure things never get out.

Which is why he’s my number one suspect.

Okay, okay. I know what you’re thinking: Adrien, why would you blame your father if you don’t have any proof?

That’s the thing, there is no proof. We have very little beyond what was released to the press. Which is why I, ahem, got Chat Noir involved.

[I still can’t believe that you asked them without consulting me first. I do have ways to get a hold of them, you know.]

I, uh, I was going to introduce you, you know.

[It’s fine. I can introduce myself.

Hey, ladybloggers and listeners! I’m Alya Cesaire. Most of you living here in Paris know me for running the Ladyblog — which has every possible scoop on the dynamic duo, Ladybug and Chat Noir.]

As well as Rena Rouge and the rest of the gang.

[Yeah, Rena Rouge is cool and everything, but have you seen Carapice in action?]

[Uh, dudes, can you not?]

Aw, what’s wrong, Nino? Don’t want to hear your girlfriend talk about a superhero?

[Not that I mind it or anything, but not on the podcast. Okay, Alya?]

[Sure, babe.

Anyway! Where was I?]

Talking about the superhero gang that roams Paris and saves it from Hawkmoth.

[Yeah, still working on unmasking him.]

It’ll happen soon enough.

[Oh, how do you know?]

Eh, it’s just something that I feel.

So, back to what we were talking about?

[Right, so I run the Ladyblog. Which means I should have been told that Chat Noir was helping with the investigation.]

Uh… Sorry?

[Yeah, yeah.]

So, want to tell my listeners how you figured out how little investigating went into the, uh, investigation?

[Okay, so, me and my girl Marinette got recruited pretty early on in this project. As in, before Adrien even decided to make this into a podcast. Great idea, by the way.]

Thanks.

[So, she and I were printing out as many news articles that we could find. And going to different libraries and going through the newspaper archives. There wasn’t much that hadn’t been digitized, but we did notice some… things, I guess you can say, in wording.

That was kind of my biggest clue.

In journalism, we have to use certain wording for certain things. It’s pretty standard for the wording to change throughout the investigation as more information is uncovered. In fact, you tend to expect it. This is normal in any missing persons or murder case.

…You okay?]

Yeah. I’m fine. Just, um, yeah. Just continue.

[With Emilie’s case, your mom’s case, the wording never changed. It actually hasn’t changed at all. Except for when your dad held the, um, the funeral service. For her.]

And that… that got you thinking?

[Yeah. It got me thinking.

Why weren’t there any changes? Why wasn’t a whole lot of new info being given out? It’s true that only so much could be said, but there was nothing. No motivation for her running away of being kidnapped, no motivation for murder, no suspects list, no evidence found in her car or in the area surrounding it, no nothing.

She simply disappeared.

This big investigation for a woman — a pretty, white socialite, who would normally garner the biggest investigation you could ever possibly imagine. And you know it’s true. This investigation wasn’t going anywhere. It was stagnant.

Why? Why was that? Why has nothing been put out in the years since?]

You have a theory?

[I have two.

The first: Someone’s being paid off and big time. Someone knows something or someone did something and now we’re all being kept in the dark.]

I hate to ask, but any ideas?

[None that you would like, and I don’t want to point fingers because I wouldn’t be able to afford the legal ramifications if I said who.]

Right.

And the next theory?

[The reason that there’s no new information is because nothing new has been found. It’s… sad, to say the least, but it’s true.

There is so little evidence, so little motive, so little everything. It’s not difficult to believe that everything is already in police custody. There’s nothing else for them to collect.]

Hm.

[Not exactly what you wanted to hear, is it?]

It’s that obvious?

[It’s understandable. She’s your mom. I don’t think… I don’t think I would be able to handle it if my mom or any of my sisters or my dad ever went missing and nothing new came up.]

Yeah.

[So, I have a question.]

Okay.

[What makes you think that your dad killed your mom?]

Author stuff cont’d.: Going to have to relisten to the true crime podcast that really got me into them.

Also available on

[Ao3]

[FanFiction.Net]

[Wattpad]

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #miraculous fanfic #miraculous ladybug fanfic #mlb fanfic #mlb no body no crime

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kolbisneat · 4 years

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MONTHLY MEDIA: May 2020

Well there’s another month come and gone. TV and books seems to be what I gravitate towards whilst in quarantine. Anyway here’s the month of May in a wordy nutshell!

……….FILM……….

Blockers (2018) I was mostly drawing while my partner watched this but from what I heard and occasionally saw, it was fun! Silly and gross and I’m not reeeeally sure who the target demo was, but it had a modern and more nuanced perspective on sexuality so that’s cool.

……….TELEVISION……….

Mad Men (Episode 1.11 to 3.03) WHO KNEW THIS SHOW WAS SO GOOD?!? The amount of screentime dedicated to advertising seems to be dwindling a bit, but oooooh there’s still so much juicy office drama (something I think I enjoy because of being self-employed and working from home). It looks like we’ll fail at our attempt to finish the series before it leaves Netflix in June but it was fun while it lasted.

Sex and the City (Episode 1.01 to 2.06) Returning to this for something when we don’t have time to watch Mad Men (or need something lighter) and it’s hitting the spot. We’re slowly getting past the era of randos talking to the camera (and mostly past Carrie breaking the fourth wall). I was in college when I first watched this and I’ve come to realize how much I’ve grown as a human as I only now have enough self-awareness to recognize I’m a Charlotte.

Gravity Falls (Episode 1.09 to 1.15) We’ve since slowed down on this a bit but I’m really excited to get back into it as season 2 is just so good!

Disney Gallery: Star Wars: The Mandalorian (Episode 1.01 to 1.04) The first three eps didn’t really do much for me. The one on the directors was cool as I didn’t realize how many there were, but it would’ve been great if they talked a little more about what they brought to the table or why they took this on. Ep 4 on technology was more my speed but overall this still kinda just feels like surface level stuff. Loooots of time spent on actors and directors and professionals complimenting each other and I am not here for that.

……….READING……….

Illuminatus! Part 1: The Eye in the Pyramid by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson (Page 204/304) What a trip. It’s pretty much what I expected from an comedic book revolving around the illuminati/secret societies from the 1970s, though it took me ages to adjust to the writing style. I’m really enjoying it, but be warned that there’s no major break between narrators so it can jump between plots with each new paragraph. It feels, at times, like a tone poem, but maybe that’s me putting more of the generation into the text than was intended. Again, I think I like it, but am pretty sure I’m missing a lot.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (Complete) Such a stellar read. I loved Novik’s Uprooted and while you could read either in any order, they both feel of the same world. Both books are full of fairytale danger akin to the traditional stories. They’re beautiful and uncertain and familiar and new. I realize I’m being super vague and general but it’s because it’s so hard to pin down what’s excellent about this book. It’s just good and if you like fantasy and classic fairy tales with layered characters and a more nuanced approach to good and evil then read this AND Uprooted.

Umbrella Academy Volume 3: Hotel Oblivion by Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba (Complete) It’s great to get back to this world but I think I need to give it another read. The first two volumes were frantic, but there was typically a clear drive or sense of what the big picture was. Volume 3 felt like a buildup or segue into the next story being told and that’s...not great.

Satania by Fabien Vehlmann and Kerascoet (Complete) I’ve rambled at length about how much I love past books by these two (particularly Beautiful Darkness) but this one didn’t connect quite the same. The story only scratched the surface of (admittedly really interesting) themes and I would’ve loved for it to get fleshed out further. The art is consistently incredible and their take on a subterranean world is breathtaking. I recommend if you want to read every book by these two, but wouldn’t suggest this as your first introduction (for that, Beautiful Darkness, or Beauty).

Hellboy Library Edition Vol 5 & 6 by Mike Mignola, Duncan Fegredo, Dave Stewart (vol.5 and 6), and others (vol. 6) (Complete) A return to form. Fegredo is such a great choice for taking over from Mignola for the main story. The final story in volume 6 is still a weird choice to me (especially since the penultimate one would’ve been much better) but I’m so excited to read the next volume. Such an cool chapter in comics history.

GRRL SCOUTS by Jim Mahfood (Complete) Very late 90s. Like soooooooo 90s. Some of the writing hasn’t aged well, but it’s interesting to see how much things have changed in...oh jeez 20 YEARS!

……….AUDIO……….

Staying In with Emily & Kumail (Podcast) As a dedicated listener to their old podcast, The Indoor Kids, it’s great to listen to these two again. Also weirdly comforting that their dynamic and personalities (at least as far as podcasting is concerned) hasn’t changed over the years between then and now. It’s gotta be at least 4 or 5 years, right? Anyway, this is a good listen if you’re navigating the pandemic (jk, we’re all doing that).

Articles of Interest (Podcast) So I think this is technically a miniseries put out by 99% Invisible but I loved season 1 and season 2 is just as good. Every episode is concise and these latest episodes are really diving into new parts of the fashion industry. Very cool.

Unravel Season 4: Snowball (Podcast) I checked this out on a recommendation since our mutual friend went through a similar situation (getting romantically involved with a perpetual con artist) and it was so interesting to see the overlap. It’s just such a wild story of deception and habitual lying and theft and manipulation. Great listen.

Dedicated Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen Exactly the sort of pick-me-up we need right now. Good stuff. Always a treat. Very happy.

……….GAMING……….

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The latest session had the group spending...maybe 25 minutes sorting out how they were going to approach the Jolly Roger (ship of the dreaded Captain Hook). Their plan is a mixture of stealth and impersonating what amounts to Pirate Ship Quality Control. We’ll see how that goes. Anyway I’m really excited by how the group is exploring the island and for this book to come out in October!

D&D Homebrew Adventure (Menace of Merlin) The group is sorting out a curse/illness plaguing one of the character’s hometown and...the timing of this plot is not ideal BUT everyone seems to be okay with it. They took out some orcs and hopefully will be able to find the hermit that can help with the slow petrification of the village.

Tyranny of Dragons /Gainfully Employed (Wizards of the Coast) I’m not sure I posted about this last month but the party has just sorted out the cause of a failing lighthouse (that’s magical) and brought the culprit to justice! Now to head out of Phlan and sort out some silly rumors that I’m sure are nonsense.

And that’s it! As always, hit me with your recommendations if you have something I should read/play/watch/or listen to!

Happy Sunday.

#Monthly Media #Rambles #Kolbisneat #Andrew Kolb

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dfcfanfics · 4 years

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Looking Back At 2019

Greetings! Your sixth-favorite old man who churns out Miraculous fanfics is back again, casting his eyes on the year-about-to-end and what came of it.

Throwing my ramblings behind a cut, for the benefit of those who are less than fanatical about them.

Okay! Still here? Great.

Stories that I wrote in 2019 included:

Longfics:

Let’s Take It From The Top: The conclusion to this one arrived in January. This was a long-running alternate universe story, the longest I had written at that time, rebooting the Miracuverse with two alterations:

1) Gabriel brought the Cat and Moth, not the Peacock and Moth home from Tibet.

2) Gabriel was willing to listen to Nooroo’s pleas to not use his powers selfishly.

That simple starting point cascaded into a very long chain of surprises and reinventions of familiar Miraculous events. Old faces with new Akuma identities, including a new one (Firefly) for Marinette before she ever becomes Ladybug! A Wish gone awry that eventually threatens all of France -- and perhaps more. Good Gabriel exploring the possibilities of Nooroo’s powers while attempting to save his son. The eventual emptying of the Miracle Box in an all-out showdown. Adrien in pink sweatpants. The answer to what happened to Atlantis. And my very first piece of fanart received ever, from the incomparable @yunyin.

It’s a lesser-loved piece of mine, but I think there’s some very solid writing in it, so if you skipped over it I’d encourage you to check it out.

Someone To Watch Over Me: My labor of love. This was inspired by absolutely perfect Ladrien concept art from @buggachat, which I will never hesitate to link. I fell in love with it, considered how I would work it into a longer Ladrien idea that was bubbling in my brain, and reached out to @buggachat with a first-chapter draft. She gave me the go-ahead to continue with it, and I hope she likes what I did to her poor characters along the way. ;)

Adrien’s attempted Akumatization and Ladybug’s last-second rescue leads to far more than either of them bargained for. Marinette reaches out to Adrien with comfort and affection in both of her identities -- and finds Adrien responding to both in kind, as much as he is capable of in his somewhat emotionally numb state. Slowly, she cracks his shell and a Ladrienette triangle forms. Though obviously Marinette would be fine with being Adrien’s girl in either identity... he doesn’t know that, and the slow burn to full-on romance is quite the ride.

All the while, Gabriel is watching his son closely, as his master plan requires someone with emotional ties to Emilie to be Akumatized and Adrien is his last-hope selection. He watches the evolving relationships, ready to pick off whichever one ends up broken-hearted when Adrien makes a choice and the triangle collapses... and is curious when that doesn’t seem to happen. A dinner party at Marinette’s proves memorable, followed by one at Adrien’s that proves... life-changing for all.

24 chapters, 230k words, my longest chapter ever, an Adrien moment that startled many readers in a very good way, and many other delights.

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time...: This one wasn’t supposed to be a longfic. It started out in my mind as a wacky farce, responding to how Heart Hunter / Miracle Queen ended and examining where the Adrigaminette triangle might go. But the more I wrote at the beginning, the more I started digging into the emotional possibilities and felt like, well, this could actually go places.

This picks up with Marinette overwhelmed, hiding out in her room. The blossoming relationship between Kagami and Adrien, the new responsibilities of Guardianhood, knowing what happened to Master Fu, and many other questions are screaming inside her skull and she is out of answers. A ring of her doorbell shatters everything, though, as it reveals a sobbing Kagami; in this version, he tries being her boyfriend but abruptly cuts it off, admitting that he loves someone else. And we all know who that someone else is... and now Ladybug knows that, too.

And our heroine... snaps.

12 chapters so far, a deliberate experiment in writing shorter chapters (each one is under 5k) that has been... well, challenging to both myself and my readers. The response has been good and it is nearly complete; I’m thinking maybe four more chapters unless something changes.

Not-so-longfics:

Two Hearts That Wax And Wane: The first of a small handful of response fics to Puppeteer 2, specifically the car scene near the end, which I found to be one of the definitive moments of the entire Season 3. It certainly created veritable oceans of salt on Tumblr, so I decided to try to make something sweeter out of it.

Marinette has heard “the girl that I love” from Adrien’s lips... and it certainly wasn’t referring to her, at least as far as she knows. So... now what? Adrien isn’t sure what Marinette’s reaction meant, but he knows that he screwed up somehow, and that he needs to make things right with her or potentially lose a very precious friend. And so four chapters follow, one from each Love Square side’s perspective (Adrienette, Marichat, Ladrien, Ladynoir in order).

Angst segueing into fluff, as is my usual formula.

Full Stamen Ahead: A five-parter that makes an utter shambles of the French education system. (If you’re sensitive to Americanizations, this is not the fic for you, unless acres of fluff serve as a sufficient antidote.)

The school is promoting a Carnation Day, in which white, pink or red carnations are delivered to students for a nominal fee. Marinette decides that she’s finally going to confess her feelings, but an interruption by Chloe disrupts her red-carnation attempt. Seeing an opportunity, Chloe responds with a nasty plan of her own... and chaos soon reigns.

Five short chapters of high school antics, detective work and flower petals.

Just One More Minute...: Another fic inspired by Tumblr art, this one by Ladybeug. After five hours of fighting an Akuma, our heroes tumble together to a rooftop, unable to move another inch. They’re about to detransform, and they know it. But... surely... they could rest for just a moment before they act, couldn’t they?

One-shot.

Playing A Familiar Chord: Puppeteer 2 response fic number two, this one from a Lukanette perspective. After hearing what she did in the car, Marinette returned home feeling completely disheartened. Who might be out there that she could turn to, talk to, call on the phone and get a male perspective on about what just happened? Who could be her Big Brother today, even though they both know that he’d like to be more than that?

One-shot. Fluff, comfort, and a Luka who’s smitten but remains assertive as well.

After the Storm Breaks: Heart Hunter/Miracle Queen response fic, examining what might come next. A short time after the finales, Adrigami is fully enabled... as is Lukanette. A party that Adrien, Kagami and Marinette all attend becomes awkward, so Adrien calls Marinette to make sure that they’re still on good terms... and a lot of unexpected truth comes out.

One-shot. Fluff, comfort and friendship. Exploring a far stronger Adrienette forming even while they’re each dating other people.

A Little Promise I’d Made Myself: A super-fluffy one-shot. It’s a New Year’s Eve party at Rose’s house, and while Adrien is having a good time, he notices that Marinette is sitting off by herself. So he joins her, and as the countdown to midnight approaches, Marinette wonders if she has it in her to give him a real New Year’s kiss...

Crack and Silliness:

Assorted bits of insanity, response fics and stuff that popped into my head.

The Logical Conclusion: Ladybug examines why all the Akumas center around one particular classroom... and presents Chat Noir with her theory as to whom Hawkmoth must be.

Reservoir Kwamis: Quentin Tarantino’s film Reservoir Dogs from a Miracuverse perspective. Maybe three people will enjoy this.

Getting Things Backwards: Backwarder response crackfic. Adrien opens Marinette’s “love letter”... which is actually Fu’s constipation medicine prescription... and interprets it in a very different way.

First Times Are Always Awkward: On Ladybug and Chat Noir’s first outing against Stoneheart, Tikki is not fully aware of modern technology... like cell phone cameras. So that “Kwamis cannot be photographed or recorded” extends to their magic as well -- like certain costumes. Alya ends up with quite an eyeful when she watches the footage she captured...

Communication Breakdown: In an emergency, Plagg needs someone else to accept his power, don the ring and be a hero. He’s in a room with someone who is able and willing. But when it comes to saying “Claws out” aloud, there’s one little problem...

Busted, Said The Kwami: Kwami Buster response crackfic. Adrien finds himself dreaming of a midnight visit by Ladybug, who becomes Multimouse, who acts... unusually. This is not Plagg’s first rodeo with size-changing heroine fantasies, though.

Nooroo Uses A Swear Word: He sure does.

Options Include...: A response to an Instagram post by Adrien. Marinette sees Adrien admiring Nino and Alya’s relationship, and pining for one of his own, and reacts...

Leave Some Stones Unturned: Wayzz and Marinette investigate Master Fu’s studio, as Wayzz is aware of many secrets hidden away there in Fu’s absence. They find a pair of Kwamis who are not from the Chinese set, and whose concepts and personalities startle Marinette greatly... (Little Feat fans will appreciate this one.)

If you’ve reached this note, I thank you regardless of whether you’ve actually read my stuff or not. :)

I thought Season 3 had a lot of interesting components and a lot of very flawed execution, both in where it chose to take the characters and the usual nightmares involving episode ordering and character consistency. I sincerely hope that the hiatus before S4 will allow Team Astruc to present a more coherent and consistent approach in 2020.

Tumblr salt of You’re Not Writing The Story How I Want You To! and My Ship Must Sail NOW! will continue, obviously. That’s life. But Tumblr salt picking apart writing choices and characterization in what they actually put out there... that I can get behind. The Marinette Defense Squad remains vigilant. My hat is tipped to the many Tumblr folk who approach these episodes with a critical but supportive eye; recognizing what’s good, pointing out what’s not and wanting what emerges to be great.

Best wishes to all in the new year, particularly @brittsarts, my tireless artist friend still plugging away at the comic-ization of Tyger, Tyger, Burning Bright and doing fantastic work at that as time and energy allow.

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #fanfic #rambling #old man reviews where all his free time went

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thewritewolf · 5 years

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Rekindle Chapter 16: Ghosts

The day after their defeat of Hawkmoth.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

@marichatmay

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

The morning lights filtered in through the windows, forcing Marinette to accept that the day had begun. Still mostly asleep, she groped blindly toward the other half of the bed, searching for the familiar source of warmth that had helped her sleep so soundly last night. When she didn’t find it, she sat up on her elbows and blew aside an errant lock of hair with an irritated huff. Excluding herself, the bed was empty.

Had it all been a dream? No - his overshirt and shoes were cast aside at the foot of the bed. He’d at least been here. And unless he intended to go walking around in his bare feet, then he was still here. She sniffed the air hopefully, but couldn’t smell any delicious scents, much to her disappointment. Although maybe that was to be expected. She certainly wouldn’t have felt in the mood for cooking if that all had happened to her.

She rolled over to plant her feet on the ground and forced herself out of bed. There was a lot to do in the newly Hawkmoth-less world. She hesitated as she looked down the hall at the guest room. Maybe he had gotten up in the middle of the night to sleep alone? Poking her head in, she saw the bed was still perfectly made and waiting for a guest. So he’d spent the night with her. Her heart fluttered before remembering why he’d had to stay at all.

The living room was as she remembered it last night - restored by the Ladybug Cure, but blankets left astrew from their impromptu movie marathon.

“Adrien?” She softly called his name, not wanting to alert the neighbors. “Are you there?”

“Marinette?” Tikki replied. She turned around to track its source and found her kwami sitting on top of an envelope in the kitchen, working her way through a cookie only slightly smaller than herself. “They left before I woke up. But they left a note!” She floated off of the envelope as Marinette walked over to pick it up.

The message was simple and frustratingly vague: “I’ll be back tonight. Discovered something about Hawkmoth.”

She frowned at that. Hawkmoth. Not dad, or father, or even Gabriel. Hawkmoth. Before she could dwell on it further, her eyes widened and she frantically looked around. The Butterfly miraculous was missing!

Taking a deep breath, Marinette forced herself to calm down and think things through. “Tikki. Can kwami appear if there isn’t a wielder of their miraculous?”

Tikki considered this for a long moment. “Well, yes, but we don’t like to. It is super tiring because it means we have to manifest without a living anchor in this world.” She nibbled a little at her cookie, looking pensive. “Do you think that Nooroo spoke to Adrien?”

“Nooroo? That’s the name of the butterfly kwami?” At Tikki’s nod, Marinette continued. “I don’t see why else Adrien would take the butterfly miraculous. But I don’t understand what Nooroo could’ve told Adrien that would make him leave without saying goodbye.”

Putting a comforting paw on Marinette’s cheek, Tikki replied, “I’m sure he had a good reason. Chat Noir wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

Marinette flashed a smile at Tikki’s concern. “I know. But thanks for saying it. It makes me feel a little better. Especially with what we have to do next.” Marinette ran her fingers through her hair and suddenly realized how dirty she felt. Even if the sweat and grim had been cleaned off by the Ladybug Cure, she’d feel better after a shower. “Finish up your cookie. We need to talk with the mayor and call a press meeting.”

And if Adrien wasn’t back after that was over… then she’d let herself start to worry. But for now, she put on a brave face and got cleaned up. Who knows? Maybe she would meet someone new today.

--------------------------

Adrien entered his childhood home, just another shadow among many. The mansion’s defenses hadn’t been difficult to weave through. They were like an old friend to him, a hurdle he would have to constantly evade back during his teenage years. Only slightly more arduous to get around was the police sentry posted outside, but even then, the early morning ensured the guard wasn’t exactly at the top of his game.

Maybe they didn’t have a warrant yet, or maybe their lingering fear of Hawkmoth kept them from entering. Either way, only his footfalls echoed in the spacious halls, halls that felt even emptier without Gabriel’s presence looming over everything like an omnipresent shadow. Finding himself in the foyer, he looked up at the giant painting Hawkmoth had commissioned shortly after the disappearance of Emilie Agreste.

Disappearance. Adrien remembered Gabriel’s very careful choice of words, remembered how he had brushed it off at the time as him just being a strange person. Even years later, Adrien just thought that Gabriel hadn’t given up on finding his wife someday. That he was unable to move on.

His claws hands clenched into a fist. He hadn’t been entirely wrong. Gabriel hadn’t been able to move on, but that was partially because he had known something that Adrien didn’t. Something he had kept hidden from Adrien for ten years. Something that Nooroo had told Adrien after forcing himself outside the tainted miraculous. Emilie Agreste, Adrien’s mother and the wife of the person who would become Hawkmoth was alive… at least for now.

Adrien climbed the staircase and entered Gabriel’s study. Just as he remembered it, a painting of his mother hung on the wall at the back of the room. Years ago, he had discovered a safe containing the miraculous book behind it. But there was more to it than that. Pressing the hidden buttons that Nooroo had described, Adrien felt a brief rush of panic as he sunk through the floor and ended up inside an underground facility.

All his questions faded away to background noise when he saw her, resting peacefully inside a sarcophagus of glass and metal. She didn’t look a day older than how he remembered her, wearing her favorite white suit with a vibrant rose attached to her lapel. Her expression was serene, as if she was sleeping. Or was he sleeping and this was just another dream of his, the sort that he had stopped having a few years after she had vanished?

Before he could find a way to pinch himself through the suit, a tiny but ragged voice sounded near his ear. “She doesn’t have long left.”

His head jerked to the side, where he saw Nooroo, looking at him with weary eyes. He hadn’t even considered that kwami could become sick, but those doubts were put aside when he took in how frail Nooroo looked, the way that his big kwami eyes had bags under them, the way he shivered in the chill of the underground. Nooroo was looking even worse than he had before, when he had woken Adrien up in the early hours of the morning.

His words caught up to Adrien. “What do you mean? Isn’t she fine while she is in there?”

Nooroo shook his head sadly and Adrien heart dropped. “The machine is effective, but imperfect. Her sickness has advanced through the years. On the tenth anniversary of her internment, she will succumb to the infection.”

“Sickness? Infection?” He fought to keep his voice from breaking. It was hard to grasp that his mother was still alive, making it all the more painful that she was about to be ripped from him all over again. He was starting to get tired of all the tears.

“Gabriel and her used to run across the rooftops of Paris, using the miraculous not for evil but for simple pleasure.” Nooroo sighed. “But Duusu’s miraculous had been damaged during the Fall. It wasn’t safe to use. We tried to tell them but...” Nooroo looked over at the still form of Emilie. “...They didn’t listen.”

“So… Gabriel somehow built this,” Adrien gestured to the wires and tubes leading into the machine, “and put mom in it. Right?” Nooroo nodded. “Can’t I just get her out now, take her to Master Fu? There is still a week until the anniversary. That should be plenty of time to heal her, right?”

Nooroo watched him with sad eyes. “I’m so sorry, Adrien. She will last a week inside the machine, or maybe an hour or two outside of it. Even if she did live a week, there is nothing Master Fu can do. The infection is beyond mortal power to heal. There is only one thing that could possibly save her now.”

Adrien looked at his ring and frowned, deep in thought.

-----------------------------------

As much as Marinette would love to have Chat Noir by her side right now, it was for the best that he didn’t see the crowd of reporters gathered in front of her. Most were wearing bright smiles and there was an excited energy arcing around the space. And why shouldn’t they be excited? Their long nightmare was finally at an end.

She clamped down on her nervousness, remembering the lessons Chat Noir had given her way back near the beginning of their superhero career. Deep breaths. Stay focused. She had always been curious about how he knew so much about making public appearances. Now she knew.

“Citizens of Paris!” The voice of Ladybug cut through the chatter, silencing conversations immediately. “Hawkmoth, now known to be Gabriel Agreste, has been defeated for good. I am in possession of his miraculous and he is now in police custody.” She allowed them to cheer before she continued. “I will now be answering questions by the press, but keep in mind that some things must remain secret.”

“Was Gabriel Agreste working alone? Do you know if his son or any of his employees were involved?”

Marinette’s heart leapt to her throat before she got her feelings under control. It was a question she had been anticipating, but not so soon. Still, she rolled out the answer she and Tikki had prepared.

“I can only say for certain that Nathalie Sancoeur had some involvement in Hawkmoth’s plans, as evidenced by her willful assistance during last night’s battle. Adrien Agreste, meanwhile, we believe to be completely innocent of his father’s wrongdoings.”

“And where is Adrien Agreste?”

Showtime. “Since we believe he may be in danger, Adrien agreed to be hidden for his own protection. Chat Noir and I believe that this is the ideal solution for the time being. Rest assured that he is being looked after.” Hopefully that would buy time for everything to die down a little before Adrien returned to the public eye. The reporters jotted down her answer, not fully pleased with it, but at least accepting it.

The questions continued to come, but nothing made her react the way that the first one had. Some she had to turn down entirely - where the miraculous would go or how they intended to track down Nathalie, for instance.

All the while, worry gnawed at her in the back of her mind.

----------------------------

“Hey, Adrien,” she settled next to where he sat on the stairs in the foyer of his old home, in the shadow of a horribly dour painting of his father and him. His head was in his clawed hands as he stared at the ground.

He seemed startled at the sound of his own name and looked over at her with red rimmed eyes and a wavering smile. “Hey, Mari. How’d you find me here?”

She dropped her transformation and wrapped an arm around his and wiped away his tears with the cuffs of her sleeves. “It wasn’t hard. Where else would you have gone? And with the Butterfly miraculous too.”

“I could’ve taken it to Master Fu,” he offered feebly.

“Then you would’ve taken me with you.” She cupped his cheek and smiled sadly. “Sorry, kitty. I don’t want you to be alone.”

He swallowed heavily. “I found out what Hawkmoth was trying to do.”

“Was it something to do with your mother?” It was an educated guess. What else would Gabriel Agreste, the fabulously successful and rich fashion star, want?

“Yeah…” He stared off into the distance again before looking around the foyer. “You know, this place used to be my whole world. I rarely ever got to leave when I wasn’t doing stuff for his business. I didn’t mind much at the time, though. I didn’t know anything different. Besides, mom was there, so even if it wasn’t lively, it was warm and welcoming.”

She just watched and held onto him. It was clearly something he needed to get off his chest.

“We had a funeral for her three years ago. There hadn’t been any sign of her for years, so we just gave up hope.” He scowled. “Not Gabriel though. Refused to go to the funeral, so I had to go alone, see family I’d never met before and try to explain why he hadn’t show up to his own wife’s funeral.”

There was a long silence between them before Marinette said, “I’m sorry about your parents, Adrien. Your mother sounds amazing. I’m wish I could’ve talked to her, thanked her for raising such a good son.”

Adrien turned to look at her with those wide Chat eyes and for a moment she was worried she said something wrong. Then, he smiled. It was small, but it was genuine and heartfelt. “Come with me, Mari. There's someone I want you to meet.”

#MarichatMay2019 #Miraculous Ladybug #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Adrien Agreste #Chat Noir #Ladybug #Marichat #Tikki #Nooroo #ml fanfiction #my writing #Rekindle

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ascottywrites · 5 years

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Overwatch -- The Felicity Smoak List

In light of Emily Bett Rickards’ departure from Arrow here we are with a few of my favorite things. Happy Reading!!

The Phoenix by SuperSillyAndDorky06 (Complete: 27/27| 126,939) --Bratva Oliver

Felicity Smoak fell in love with the broody, intense Oliver Queen, Captain of the Russian Bratva, ages ago but he broke her heart. So, when the sudden marriage between them is arranged, she does not understand it and she does not want it. Except Oliver Queen is not only a harder man to live with than she realized, he also has no intention of letting her go. Mature content. Mild swearing. A lot of sexual tension. And you will want to punch Oliver at times. Kiss him at times ;)

A Code of Silence by OliversMuse (Complete: 34/34| 55,265) --Bratva Oliver Oliver Queen is a boss of the Star City mafia when he meets and and falls in love with Star City socialite Felicity Smoak. While on their honeymoon their yacht goes down and they are presumed dead. Five years later they unexpectantly show back up alive and Oliver is now also a Captain in the Russian Bratva. As he fights to keep his territory he faces a resistance that will force him to show everyone just how far he will go to protect those he loves and Felicity to show what she will do to protect her family.

I Will Protect Her by beggsyboo (Complete: 22/22| 33,678) --Bratva Oliver She required protection.

He needed a wife.

***

So I’ve just got three Olicity stories and they’re all Bratva!Oliver meh. It’s probably because in fanfiction I ship Felicity with literally anyone other than Oliver (sorry Olicity die-hards). It could be because after a hint of it was introduced, the Arrow-verse canon made it a central piece of the storytelling. Or it could be a multitude of other reasons...let’s not look too deep into it. INSTEAD here are some alternate pair Felicity fics. Enjoy!

+Batlicity

Wait. What happened in Vegas? by Ellabee15 (Complete: 30/30| 47,651) Bruce and Felicity accidentally get married in Vegas.

A Bat Reaches for the Light by tdgal1 (wip: 13/?| 35,053)

Oliver sleeps with Isabel and tells Felicity that nonsense. Felicity meets Bruce Wayne, Felicity decides that if Oliver wants no relationship that is what he will get. The first chapter is a summary but things will improve. This is for my good friend Vanessa.

Between a Bat and a Sharp Place by Ellabee15 (Complete: 28/28| 19,849)

Beginning sometime after Oliver makes Felicity his EA this takes a different view of how season 2 might have gone. What if Felicity's family secrets were revealed? How will Oliver react to her being the daughter of a business rival. More importantly how does Tony Stark feel about the way the Arrow treats his daughter. Also Felicity has a history with...Batman?

Batlicity oneshots by Ellabee15 (Complete: 20/20| 20,250)

Felicity/Bruce Wayne one shots.

How Did We End Up Like This? by Wally_Birb (Complete: 15/15| 46,404)

For half of a decade, Felicity's best friend was a billionaire vigilante with a dark past. No, not that one. What started out as what Felicity insists was a mistake resulted in one of the longest friendship Felicity had ever had. Long distance, of course, because Bruce Wayne wasn't exactly keen on Star City and Felicity wasn't a fan of smog.

When Felicity and Oliver break up, Felicity doesn't want to give up on making a difference. So, she turns to her best friend, looking for comfort (which he fails at giving spectacularly) and understanding (which he wouldn't be able to stop even if he wanted to). She quickly finds herself fitting in with the Batman and his little army of children.

+Clark Kent

The Measure of a Hero by Ellabee15 (Complete: 22/22| 36,873)

After the Glades fall strange things begin happening in Starling.

Man of Smoak, Man of Steel by Ellabee15 (Complete: 24/24| 24,604)

After Felicity graduated from MIT she went to work for a while in Metropolis to set up the Daily Planet's new computer system...and got a little more than she bargained for. AU (Obviously) will feature Arrow story line later.

+Clint Barton

Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Fortune by Ellabee15 (Complete: 29/29| 44,465)

Clint Barton gets tired of being compared to the Arrow and decides to set the record straight once and for all. The last thing he wanted was to get involved in the Arrow's mess. Felicity's struggling with Oliver's willingness to overlook Malcolm's past in order to defeat the League of Assassins. The last thing she needs is another stubborn archer in her life.

**This is followed by Where We Stand

Not Her Only Archer by Nartie327 (wip: 11/?| 11,844)

What If Oliver wasn't the only archer Felicity knows? What if she had a whole secret life before she joined Team Arrow that no one knew about?

(Timeline: Arrow season 2 & The Avengers: Age of Ultron)

Maybe Next Time I can Buy You That Drink? by lailah (one-shot| 2,868)

“When the shirt was gone her eyes widened in surprise. His body was -- well amazing, it was all rock hard muscle and skin, so much glistening skin. Felicity couldn’t help but reach out and press her hands against him, feel what she was seeing to make sure it was real.”

**This is followed by The Softer Side

Marry Me (buy me dinner first) by Wally_Birb (one-shot| 7,718)

The one where Clint and Felicity sorta dive headfirst into this whole 'partners' thing and Clint realizes what the initials of Strike Team Delta spell out.

+Thorlicity

When Lightning Strikes by Ellabee15 (Complete: 20/20| 48,473)

After being banished from Asgard, Thor crash lands outside of Starling.

Smoak or Stark? by laxit21 (wip: 58/?| 76,002)

Howard Stark was a known adulterer. Roughly a week after he and his wife are killed in a car accident, their son Tony becomes aware of his younger sister, Felicity Smoak. How will events for both the Arrow and the Avengers change as a result of their sibling relationship?

(Canon divergence for both Arrow and the MCU)

Always Be My Thunder by Ellabee15 (Complete: 27/27| 62,582)

Felicity is recruited by SHIELD to help with an impending disaster. A life altering accident forces her to make an extremely important decision which will forever change the dynamics of Team Arrow and those of the Asgardian court.

Lightning in her blood by Millie 1985 (Complete: 3/3| 3,848)

Felicity is not what she seems, sure she is a sweet, quirky, genius who can always be relied upon to help save the day but she is also more than that. She has lightning in her blood and more than one mighty protector in her corner. Takes place after both Heir to the Demon and the second avenger film. Now a collection of one shots.

+Steve Rogers

I'll be your Soldier by Ellabee15 (Complete: 31/31| 54,121)

Felicity Smoak is kidnapped by the league of Assassins. Over the next 2 years a new Winter Soldier comes to the attention of Captain America. (This story begins at the beginning of season 3 in the Arrow timeline and after Captain America: The winter soldier in the Marvel universe.)

Rising Above The Ashes by Wally_Birb (wip: 9/?| 20,494)

When Felicity Smoak was 19, SHIELD forced her to join their ranks to work off the crimes that the people closest to her committed with her super virus. Also when she was 19, a kill order went out that forced three of SHIELD's top agents to defect so that she could escape with her life. No one knows why exactly the order went out, but years later the answer comes while Felicity is hacking investigating SHIELD.

Of course, knowing why it happened? Well that just puts more of a bounty on her head.

Some Good In This World (Worth Fighting For) by Wally_Birb (one-shot| 10,960)

Felicity blames Cisco, honestly. It's always Cisco's fault, so she figured that when she woke up in the 1940's after interrupting one of his experiments, it was a safe bet to think that it was all Cisco's fault.

His Best Girl by iluvaqt (Complete: 22/22| 100,696)

Felicity moves to New York after the Glades collapse. A chance run-in at the Buy More with Steve Rogers, changes her world and sets her on a path of discovery that has been kept secret since before she was born.

Because I'm Worth It by lateVMlover (Complete: 10/10| 34,455)

This is a crossover story that is set after season 2's Arrow finale. Felicity is Pepper's cousin and decides to go to New York to get away from her heartbreak from Oliver. This is NOT an Olicity story. It focuses on her meeting and falling for Captain America.

**This is followed by a few more installations Black Meets Green Protecting the Family The Wedding ...Ya know, just in case you’re in need of a deeper look.

+Johnny Storm

Where there's Smoak there's Fire by Ellabee15 (Complete: 11/11| 14,043)

In the wake of Oliver's death Felicity is sent by Palmer Tech to oversee a deal with the Fantastic Four.

+Aquaman

Above | Beneath by Vixx2pointOh (Complete: 6/6|23,990)

He was from the lost world beneath.

She was from the dry land above.

Or at least that's what they thought...

Expectations by NellyHarrison (one-shot| 6,562)

The first time Felicity Smoak meets Arthur Curry does not go well, but as they continue to work together, and she continues to believe in his potential, their relationship evolves into something neither of them had expected.

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killiansprincss · 3 years

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Chapters: 8/? Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan Characters: Emma Swan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Neal Nolan, Henry Mills (Once Upon a Time), Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Prince Charming | David Nolan, Alexandra (Once Upon a Time), Phillip II (Once Upon a Time), Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: Neverland (Once Upon a Time), Curses, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Emma Grows Up Happy, Evil Queen curses Emma, season 6 AU, Angst, Magic, Hurt, Canon Divergence Summary:

Emma Swan is happy. She has finally found her family and has a great relationship with her son. She also has her boyfriend who means the world to her. So it’s great right? Wrong. The Evil Queen is still at large in Storybrooke and when she casts a curse on Emma, she is turned into a toddler. Her family are forced to watch her grow up not remembering anything of her former life. So Henry and Killian run off to Neverland, and when Emma finally remembers, will it be a happy reunion? Or will there be challenges in this Neverland that is no longer ruled by Peter Pan?

My next chapter of my Neverland story is here! This chapter you learn more about Mini Charming Neal Nolan, and also the villain of my story!! I hope you enjoy it and please tell me what you think, it sounds silly but this story is close to my heart it’s the first multi chapter fanfic I’ve written in probably 8 years and I’m super proud of it, so if anyone wants to leave me a comment telling me what you think I’d be so grateful!

A03

Cecelia had lived in Neverland a lot longer than that Pan boy. So when she and her sisters were banished to the Enchanted Forest, those were the worst hundred years of her life. The Blue Fairy insisted on calling them by their colours rather than their names, so Cecelia was ‘purple’, which made her want to cast a dark spell on Blue more than a few times.

“Late again Purple.”

“No messing with the humans Purple.”

“Light magic only, Purple you know that.”

It was her high pitched voice that drove her insane, thinking that just because she was the oldest fairy in the Enchanted Forest she was better than they were. Well she was a Neverland fairy, she did not have to follow her rules.

Cecelia wasn’t the only fairy Blue disliked. Of course she hated all her Neverland sisters, but there was one fairy who was born in the Enchanted Forest. Tinkerbell. Or “Green” as Blue so annoyingly referred to her as.

“But I don’t understand why we can’t just help the humans we want.” Tinkerbell would argue with the Blue Fairy.

“Oh Green. I wish we could, but it’s fairy law. We aren’t able to help who we wish, only those of pure heart.”

Bullshit. There was no “Fairy Law”, fairies had their own free will. If Tinkerbell wanted to help that young Queen who wasn’t in love with her husband, why shouldn’t she. Arranged marriages between royals were bullshit anyways.

Sooner or later the little green fairy would majorly piss off the supreme Blue Fairy and banish her and Cecelia would take her under her wing and set a course for Neverland once more.

A mere few days later and Cecelia’s plan was falling into action. Poor Tinkerbell was exiled by the Blue Fairy for meddling in a human's life. She knew Blue was way too hard on her, so she told a human who their soulmate was, big deal. She didn’t curse anyone or use dark magic. If Tink was exiled for something so small, Cecelia was next.

“Tink. I have a proposition for you.” And so she told her all about how she was banished from her home, and Tinkerbell could have a home among fairies that understood her, where the Blue Fairy couldn’t control her

“So this Neverland, isn’t it ruled by a corrupt king?” Tink asks.

“Pan? Oh no, he is not a king. He’s a man who abandoned his child in exchange for eternal youth.” She says thinking about her hatred for Pan. “He doesn’t have the power he thinks he does, our magic is far more powerful than he is.”

Tink smiles, “And there’s nobody like the Blue Fairy that will control us?”

Cecelia smirks, “The Blue Fairy controls this land, Neverland will be ours.”

And so Tinkerbell travels with the other Neverland Fairies, 2nd star to the right and straight on to morning. Without her wings, she held tight to Cecelia, under the impression that her wings would be restored once they reached the Island.

Of course, this was a lie, she just needed an excuse to go back home, and Tink would be a healthy distraction, a new fairy running around for Pan to play with. Tink resented her for this for years, especially as she was on the run from Pan whilst Cecelia and the other fairies she escaped with were able to fly to their fairy home which Pan was forbidden to enter (plus he couldn’t fly or make himself small). But it didn’t matter, Cecelia was home.

Cecelia didn’t know how Pan fell. It was only 50 years after her return to the Island, but all she knew was Tink told Pan of the Native Neverland fairies whereabouts and he made sure they were not able to get out. All she knows is the boy Pan was looking for played a hand in his defeat. She had seen the boy in the pictures that Pan had years before. With Pan gone and the magic of the Island gone, Cecelia and her sisters whilst were free from their entrapment were powerless and as good as dead.

But the boy returned. He was much older, but it was him. He was the boy from Pan's prophecy. And he was with Captain Hook, the one handed Pirate. The pirate that many of the fairies had been involved with once upon a time.

They were alone. Just the two of them. Hook, she was not surprised to see him, he had been in Neverland for 300 years, he clearly got tired of human life and wanted to return to eternal youth. She would have to keep an eye on him, make sure he stays around.

________________

“Good Evening Captain.” Cecelia says flirtatiously when she sees Hook in the Lost Ones clearing.

“Cecelia.” Hook replies.

“You seem different today Captain.” She notices how he seems distanced, maybe it’s too much rum.

“Just Neverland playing tricks on my mind, it’s nothing. How many lost ones are expected tonight?” He asks, quickly changing the subject.

Cecilia notices this, but doesn’t say anything. “About the same as last night, possibly

more.”

Just as he begins to leave, Cecelia grabs his hand, his only hand, “Are you sure you’re okay Captain? I can help you to relieve the trauma of this place for a few hours if you wish.” She tells him seductively.

In the past he would’ve accepted Cecelia’s offer, but not this night. “Thank you Cecelia. But not tonight.”

And so Hook leaves the fairy alone in the clearing wondering what was going on.

Cecelia was hurt and embarrassed, in the 25 years Hook had been here he was wrapped around her finger, he could get her to do whatever she wanted. While he hadn’t taken her to bed since he’d been here, she still used her enchantment on him.

Cecelia turns back into fairy size and flies away to her home.

Pixie Hollow was the home to fairies for thousands of years, long before Pan. It was ruled by a King and Queen who shared True Love so strong, the pixie dust was always flowing around the Island.

When it became an island lost children visited in their dreams, the fairies became scared and fled the Island. Eventually the King and Queen fled too and that’s when the Pixie dust slowly became scarce. When there were very few fairies left, Pan was able to control the Island.

—————

Cecelia flies to where the former Pixie Dust tree was. Nowdays it doesn’t cover the entire tree, but more a small crater of dust at the centre of the once grand tree.

She was going to find out what was going on inside her pirates head.

She gathers a small handful of dust and whispers,

“ Show me Captain Hook’s day ”

And she throws the dust in the air and forms a golden circle showing Hooks memories that day.

She sees Hook in his house on the Island. He sleeps, eats and does nothing else.

But then...

Cecelia sees him walking over to the Lost Ones clearing, but taking a detour. And then a blonde woman comes into shot. She isn’t able to hear what they’re saying, but if she had to guess, it looked like this woman was trying to get him to go home with her.

If she had to take a guess, this woman was Hook's supposed ‘true love’. Emily, or something, she never paid attention to the woman. She was cursed, and one day she would return, it seemed today was that day.

Not if Cecelia had anything to do with it.

_____________

Talking to her brother about Henry had made Emma feel a lot better about this situation.

Last time they were in Neverland was very different, she was naïve and didn’t have great control of her magic, she didn’t know the Island. This time was different, as far as she knew neither Henry nor Killian were in any immediate danger, Pan was gone and it was fairies that controlled the Island. Although her years of training with the Blue fairy had taught her not all fairies were good or trustworthy, especially those in Neverland.

She understood her magic now. She had years of training, she could feel magic and feel what was light magic and what was dark, and Neverland was mainly dark. Having faced darkness in her previous life, she was somewhat confident she could take it on.

Hope. That’s what they needed right now.

Hope had always got them through the dire situations. And Hope would get them out of this one too.

She just needed a plan.

“Why don’t we just keep exploring the Island?” Snow suggests. Emma was devising a plan on how to get Henry and Killian to cooperate, or listen.

“No, it’s too risky all of us exploring. We still don’t know if the fairies on this Island are evil.” Emma replies, still trying to think of the best way to do this.

“Well why don’t I explore?” Neal proposes, “Say the fairies are evil, they’re more likely to want to trap you. I can explore and find out what’s going on, and if need be I can flirt my way out of it.”

Emma rolls her eyes. Her little brother was such a flirt, a real ladies man. She’s shocked he actually had a girlfriend. But then again Thalia was very different to a lot of the girls Neal flirted with growing up. And when she met her brother, they brought out the best in one another.

“Aside from flirting with fairies which I imagine you will so enjoy,” Emma mocks, rolling her eyes, “that’s not a bad idea. If you can scout out the Island, figure out where Henry and Killian are and then you can report back to me through our link.”

The siblings shared a magic link in their mind. It wasn’t like mind reading, although most of the time Emma felt she could read her brother's mind (but that was more to do with him being predictable), they were able to communicate. As the two products of true love they were bonded and could easily communicate from miles apart, which was perfect if one were to be trapped or abducted.

Noticing the worried look on his wife’s face, David adds, “Neal will be fine. Worst case scenario you can magically poof yourself back here, back under the protection spell.”

“I got this mom, don’t worry.” Neal smiles at his mother, trying to convince her it’s the best plan, when in reality he is shit scared.

“Good Luck baby bro.” Emma says, throwing Neal his sword.

~~~~~~~~

“VERENA!” Cecelia screams as she flies over to where her sister was attempting to make water rise from the stream.

Verena looked nothing like her sister. She had a honey skin tone and long black hair in a sleek ponytail. They were not sisters in a biological sense, but they were born at the same time and worked together and banished by Pan together. They had been through it all, and she was all Cecelia had.

“Oh good you’re here. I fear our time back here may be running out, look.” Verena reaches out her hand to the stream and flicks it up from the water creating a small ball. But it doesn’t quite keep its form and splashes back into the stream.

“Yeah the magic in this place is running out, we need more of Henry’s blood.” Cecelia says so matter of factly.

Verena gets up from the ground and looks at her sister, “No. You know we can’t do that. That boy has given us 25 years of magic on this Island that was dead thanks to Pan. I don’t think you remember what it did to the poor boy. If the magic is running out, we need to leave while we still can.”

When Gold had told Henry and Killian that Henry’s blood would restore the youthfulness of Neverland, they assumed just a drop or two. But when he cut his hand to let a few droplets into the magic stream it took a lot more than a few droplets. Henry was almost drained, Killian feared what would’ve happened if he hadn't been there.

Cecelia rolls her eyes, “Please. The boy has the heart of the truest believer and he’s the author. He has so much power but he’s being weak. He could easily write down that Neverland has magic again.”

“Cecelia you know magic doesn’t work like that.”

Before Verena can fly away, she suddenly realises. “It’s been 25 years, the boy's mother is here to collect him. Hooks true love. You’re trying to keep her away from them so you can have Hook for all eternity.”

When Cecelia says nothing, her sister takes that as a yes. “Whatever it is you’re planning, I want nothing to do with it.”

When the magic in Neverland runs out, Cecelia and Verena’s wings will be rendered useless as they need pixie dust to fly. They either need to fly away from the Island while they still can, or be flightless and possibly suffer a much worse fate.

_________

Neal Nolan was a smart guy. He was an English teacher at Storybrooke High, and he was highly skilled at his magic.

He was also a Charming, so people always liked him because of who his family was. His family practically ran storybrooke, his mother was a fifth grade teacher, his dad was the sheriff until he retired and his sister was deputy until their dad retired and then she became sheriff. They had good ties to the mayor, and it also helped that his girlfriend Thalia wanted to run for mayor too.

Thalia didn’t always like him though. The Charming family still had a lot of rivals in Storybrooke, but they didn’t speak up or try to overthrow them. Thalia's father was one of those people, as a former knight for King George, her father still had a hatred for them, so Thalia grew up thinking they were evil. All throughout school she and Neal were academic rivals, but as she went through high school, she realised maybe mini charming wasn’t so bad. Not that she would admit that until well after they graduated.

Now, here in Neverland, he was unknown. He was able to use this to his advantage. He was a nobody. And that was a first. He could easily fool these fairies into believing he was anyone he wanted to be.

A few seconds later though, he feels cold silver on his neck, and he finds himself struggling to breath. It’s sharp and cool like the blade of a sword, expect he thinks it feels more like...

A Hook.

The Hook tugs on his neck and forces him to turn around to face whoever the Hook belongs to. That is when he realises the Hook is a replacement for a hand.

Wait, was this, Emma’s boyfriend?

“Well what do we have here?” His accent definitely sounded like he was a pirate. And he was pretty sure it was Emma’s Hook. He was dressed in all black leather and his hair was messy. His blue eyes seemed dead inside. Neal hadn’t seen anyone look so sad before.

“My name is Neal. Neal Nolan.” He offers, hoping he will understand who he is.

“How did you get to this Island?” Hook asks, then looks at his modern clothes, “Are you from. There?”

Neal assumes by “there”, he means Storybrooke. “I live in Storybrooke. My sister is Emma. She’s come to save you.”

Hook suddenly looks uncomfortable. “Follow me if you want to live.”

Neal doesn’t exactly have a choice, so he follows the pirate into what seems to be his home on the Island. It’s a hut with stairs leading up to a bed. It doesn’t exactly look comfortable, or homey.

He also considers linking with Emma, to tell her what was going on, but quickly decides against it. He wants to talk to him, and get him to trust him.

Hook looks at Neal, almost as if he’s examining him. Neal considers himself to be pretty identical to his parents, blonde hair and green eyes. His mother’s features dominate most of his face, but his nose is his fathers. He would say he looked like Emma too, seeing as they both got their father's hair and mothers eyes.

“Rum?” Hook asks as they enter his makeshift home.

Neal shakes his head, “I’m okay.”

“Talk boy. If you are really who you say you are.” Hook gestures for the Charming boy to sit.

He takes a deep breath, hoping he can convince his sister's boyfriend not to kill him. “My name is Neal Leopold Nolan. I was born in Storybrooke. My parents are Snow White and Prince Charming, I along with my sister am the product of true love. My entire life I believed my older sister Emma was only a year older than I was. It was only on her 28th birthday, I was told the truth. That she was born right before the Evil Queen cast her dark curse and sent to the real world. And I’m not sure on the details, but a few years later the same Evil Queen turned her into a toddler and that’s how she’s grown up with me as my older sister. Now we’re here because her son Henry, and you ran away here to wait for her until she breaks her curse. Now it’s broken and we came with her to come get you both.”

Hook stands there, taking it all in. He takes a few more sips of Rum before he says, “You. You were a baby. Zelena, she stole you when you were born for her time portal. The portal Emma and I fell into. It’s where she fell in love with me, not that she would ever admit that.” He smirks.

Neal smiles, that sounded like Emma, not admitting what was so clearly the truth.

“I guess I am that baby.” Neal replies shocked to now know he almost got sacrificed by Robin's mother. He had to get the full story on this.

Hook takes another look at the grown up baby he once knew. “Your parents entrusted Emma and I to babysit you a number of times. They said it was so they could have a night off, but I knew it was because they wanted us to practise for when it was our time. Emma of course had no idea, she never liked to think much about the future, too afraid it wouldn’t come true.”

Now that was something that did not sound like Emma. She always had a plan, she would graduate high school and work for dad until he retired and become full time sheriff. He knew her love life wasn’t the best, but their parents had always told her that her soulmate was out there. Now he realises, they knew exactly who was out there for Emma.

“I can take you to her. If you like.” Neal offers, not sure what to say.

His tone suddenly changes from reminiscent to cold and raw.”No. No. I can’t. She can’t. It’s too dangerous.”

“She has magic, she can just poof herself inside your home here.” He offers again, not trying to sound too forceful.

Hook starts pacing around his home, mumbling to himself. “No. No. I can’t. She won’t. It’s best if she stays away. I caused too much hurt. Too much. Far too much. She-stay away.”

Before Neal can say or do anything, they hear a female voice.

“Oh Captain!”

“Cecelia.” Hook curses. He looks over at Neal. “You need to leave now. You have magic?”

Neal nods.

“Use it. Get away. She can’t see you.” Hook gets up to the window trying to see how far Cecelia is.

“I’ll get Emma. Well be back. She’s okay.” Neal says before a poof of light blue magic magic makes him disappear from the scene just before Cecelia arrives at Hook’s door.

#never forget you #Captain swan #fanfic #ouat #cs ff #cs fanfic #neverland #killian jones #emma swam #neal nolan #writing

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pietro-capimagines · 7 years

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Our Eyes Ch. 6 (Steve x reader)

Good evening babes. I hope your Wednesday went alright, and if it wasn’t, just remember that you’re halfway through the week! I wanted to thank you all for following me and reading my fics. Because of you all, I’ve reached 500+ followers. You’re all amazing and I’m so grateful for people like you. You make what I love to do so much fun. xoxo

Description: You’re a quiet girl who hangs around coffee shops, capturing what you see onto paper. You’ve always minded your own business, never getting involved with anyone in any relationship for reasons you’d rather not say out loud. He’s a super soldier who keeps to himself, never one to really talk to anybody that he doesn’t have to. He’s been through a lot, but never talked about it, always shoving it into the back of his mind. A chance encounter makes some sort of connection between you two and suddenly everything changes. Your eyes tell a story, as well as his, but will either of you find the courage to say it?

Warnings: None

Chapter 5

Masterlist

“F/N, I-I love you too.” Steve began smiling like goof, and let out a sigh. It felt like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. He wanted to tell you this for the last two months, but he was too afraid that you wouldn’t feel the same. Hearing you say it first gave him the validation he needed.

“Well then, get over here and kiss me already.” You smirked at Steve, leaning against the pillows. He cupped your face, and placed a passionate kiss against your lips. You hummed in content, threading your fingers through his hair that was on the back of his head. You deepened the kiss, his perfect lips molding perfectly against yours. He smiled against your kiss, and pulled away looking into you deep, E/C eyes. He no longer saw an internal struggle within them, but he did see lightheartedness and love. Your eyes still told a story, one that was not at the front of your mind anymore, but pushed away into your past. There was a brightness to your eyes that he had never seen before, and he thought it made you look even more beautiful than you already were.

When you gazed back at him, the soft blue and specks of green in his eyes captivated your mind. The tired and stressed lines around his eyes seemed to have faded away, the weight that was holding down his conscious was gone. All it left in its wake as a blissful and overjoyed Steve. God, you loved him. Until you said it out loud, you didn’t realize that you loved him that much. You pushed him down on the couch and cuddled up to him. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed your head. You listened the steadiness of his heartbeat, the constant beat soothing your nerves.

The two of you laid there in silence, no words needed to be said. You both had said your piece, and that’s all you could have ever asked of each other. That night, you fell asleep in his arms. He didn’t mind, he found that you looked so peacefully beautiful when you slept and never wanted to forget that moment. Soon after you passed out, Steve followed suit. He kissed your head once more and whispered sweet nothings into your hair, along with an I love you, before joining you in your sweet sleep.

The next few months went by blissfully. Every day was a new adventure with you two, and when you worked, Steve visited you at the bar to keep you company and to shoo off any unwanted advances. When neither of you were working, the two of you spent quality time with each other. Sometimes he would plan cute dates, and other nights you opted to be couch potatoes. Neither of you protested the other’s plans, and you always ended up having a good time.

One night after a long shift at the bar, you got a text from Steve. He asked you to meet him at your apartment. Curious, you agreed and drove down the busy streets of New York, finally reaching your destination. On the doorsteps of the building was your day dreaming boyfriend who was lost in his own thoughts. When he saw your car pull up, he immediately snapped out of it and got to his feet and you got out of your vehicle and strode towards him. He stood up and closed the distance in between you two, pressing his lips tenderly against yours. He wrapped his arms around your waist, picking you up off the ground and spinning you around in a circle. You giggled, and he placed you back on the ground, gently.

“Give me your keys, I’m driving.” He gave you a wink and slid the keys out of your grasp.

“Wait, where are we going?” You chuckled as he took your hand and walked you to the car, opening the passenger side door for you.

“It’s a surprise.” Steve kissed you on the cheek, not saying another word. Once you had seated yourself, he made his way to the driver’s side and got in the car. He drove you across the city, weaving in and out of traffic. You had no idea where he was taking you, let alone why. He constantly glanced over at you, the excitement in his chest about to burst. You felt him lightly squeeze your thigh as the car finally stopped. You finally realized where you were.

“Uh, why are we at the building where my dream studio lies?” You chuckled, very confused.

“Come on, you gotta come with me.” He got out of the car and came to your side to help you out. He took your hand in his and pulled you to the front of the door.

“Steve, seriously. It’s almost eleven o’clock at night. What are we doing here?” You furrowed your eyebrows. You were tired and you really just wanted to cuddle with him.

“F/N, I know you’ve really wanted this studio for your art for a long time. And I know that you and me both want to move in together, and that we’ve tried to find a place, but nothing has been to our liking. But then, I realized that not only does the building have your dream studio, but that the rest of the floor is one big apartment.” He began to pull something out of his front pocket.

“Steve, what did you do? Oh my god, don’t tell me that you did what I think you’ve done.” You covered your mouth in a gasp as he pulled out a key. “No way. I love you. I love you so much.” You threw your arms around him, and he chuckled, so grateful that you were happy. He let you go, and wrapped his arm around your waist.

“Come on, doll. Let’s go check out our new place.”

Ahhh, I hope you liked it! There’s going to be one last chapter and it will most likely be posted on Friday, maybe tomorrow if all goes well. I won’t be able to post the new chapter of “There” tonight, but get hyped because it’ll be here tomorrow! Over the weekend, I’ll be a little scarce on posting fics because I’ll be busy with my family for Easter. I’ll probably post one shots mostly and hold off on any series till Monday. Just a heads up! I hope you enjoyed. xoxo

ALL TAGLISTS ARE OPEN. MESSAGE OR ASK ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TAGGED FOR ANY SPECIFIC CHARACTER, SERIES, OR TO BE PUT ON THE PERMANENT TAGLIST.

Taglist:

@barely-emily @purplekitten30 @mcfuccfairy@fandomlover2001@elegantnightmareshiro @buckysplumfondler@arabellaaurorabarnes@imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @badassbaker @life-is-fuucked @elwenia @snowball-entity

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fic #captain america #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #captain america fanfiction #captain america fic #captain america fluff #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers fanfiction

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willreadforbooze · 4 years

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Hello All My Buddies! Into the books!

Linz’s Updates

I’m so behind on reading this week it’s embarrassing. But I had to watch The Circle finale, and I FINALLY started watching The Bachelor. Holy shit does production get these women druuuuuuuunk. I’m almost at THE champagne scene.

What Linz read:

The Bride Test by Helen Hoang: The “sequel” to The Kiss Quotient was like, fine. They DEFINITELY address the female protagonist’s ethnicity in this one, so that was a good start, but it was still, I dunno, just okay? It had that issue a lot of ok romances had where so much could be cleared up with a good conversation, and that takes me out of the fantasy. Also needed more sex.

Wicked As You Wish by Rin Chupeco: uuuuugh I am not happy about the review I’m gonna have to write about this. Uuuuuuuugh. My stomach hurts.

What Linz is currently reading:

Reverie by Ryan La Sala: Contemporary fantasy about a teen boy who loses his memory, because of a magic accident, and he and his friends have the ability to get pulled into other people’s super real magic-infused fantasies/”reveries” and the friend squad is able to make sure the reveries get handled so no one gets hurt I think? It’s a little confusing how the magic system works so far, and this might hit my DNF pile.

Followers by Megan Angelo: Two-storyline novel–one about two girls now who do something insane to get super famous, and one in the future about a super-influencer who’s trying to escape her life. I’m explaining it super poorly, but I’m only 3 chapters in and I am LOVING it, it’s so weird.

Minda’s Update

No update from Minda this week—she’s on baby watch!

Sam’s Update

IM ON VACATION!!!!!! Currently at the airport waiting to board my flight. Seeing one of my best friends and then headed off to ALA! See you there!

What Sam read this week:

Silvered Serpents by Roshani Chokshi: Folks this book was fan-fucking-tastic. I love my kids. I love them so much.

What Sam’s currently reading:

Angel Mage by Garth Nix: This is Nix’s newest book that i’m listening to on audio. This is a society that relies on calling upon angels to help them do stuff. Heal, build, spy, etc. When a plague wipes out an entire country, their descendants are suddenly unable to be touched by magic or the same disease overtakes them. Now you can imagine the power dynamics of THAT situation. Anyway, Lilith (of COURSE that’s her name) has some master plan that involves four strangers. The audio was the incorrect format for this book but I finally became interested and then my loan expired so now I gotta wait. FINE.

Master of Sorrows by Justin Travis Call: This is an adult fantasy in a super interesting world. Aanev wants to pass his exam to be an Avatar, a soldier against all magic aka evil. His father figure, Sodar, is the village priest and it’s clear he has some secrets. Aanev has his own too. I’m really really enjoying this so far. Slow start but I’m happy.

The Guinevere Deception by Kiersten White: This is a weird aurthutian retelling where Gwen isn’t really Gwen but Merlin’s daughter sent from Merlin’s exile to protect Arthur from an unknown threat. I’m only a bit into this but I’m happy with how it’s going so far. Kiersten is really good at hooking me into stories.

Ginny’s Update

Whatsup! I’m currently in Utah and because Sam is on a plane, I’m the one writing this update! It’s been a good week with 88″ of snow, lots of skiing, and finding out that the local minor league baseball team is the SALT LAKE CITY BEES! The fact I now know this is amazing. Oh and also plenty of reading.

What Ginny Finished Reading:

A Pineapple in a Pine Tree by Eve Pendle: MMMM the drama in this was delightful. Both of the main characters are genuinely likable so it’s easy to spend the entire book rooting for them to go ahead and work through their differences. So yeah, this book was adorable. Goddamit, am I the only one who has been rating the books I’ve read during our weekly wrap-up?

Becoming RGB by Debbie Levy and Whitney Gardner: This graphic novel does a really good job of hitting some of the highlights of RGB’s life. I’ve read a lot about the Supreme Court so a decent amount of the information wasn’t new to me, but this way the information was shared was fantastic. I really want to read this book with a small child (come on Nephew, stop being a baby! (that’s a lie, I love my baby nephew)).

A Woman Of No Importance by Sophie Purnell: There are a lot of books about history where it’s really easy to see the bias of the author, this is one of those but seems more deserving than many books. It’s clear that spy, Virginia Hall, didn’t want accolades even though she clearly deserved some. She was a woman spy sent into some of the most dangerous places in Europe during WWII. It’s pretty badass. Whether or not you agree with the author (and I think it’s pretty clear I do) this is still a really interesting look at how spy networks functioned behind enemy lines.

The Christmas Princess by Patricia McLinn: This was a free book from Amazon and I’ll sum it up with I spent a good portion of the book trying to mentally rewrite large sections to make things make sense. The main characters are a member of the State Department that is protecting a woman that has a passing resemblance to, but ISN’T, the lost princess of a country that blah blah blah diplomacy. Honestly though, my biggest complaint is that looking up tidbits about DC does not equal having any understanding of the distance between the Washington Monument and Arlington Cemetery.

Currently Reading:

Masquerade at Middlecrest Abbey by Abigail Wilson: This is a book that Linz ended up sending to me and is an ARC coming out much later this year. Because of that, I’ll probs write a review. Elizabeth has a child out of wedlock and ends up marrying spy Adrian after he attacks her carriage in a small attempt to salvage her reputation. Then there’s a MURDER. This book is definitely easy to read and even though I had obvious thoughts about who the bad guy was since very early on, still a gripping read.

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski: Surprising no one, I’m a very stressed individual. I think reading a book that focuses not on reducing the amount of things that stress you out, but what your body needs to really let the stress relax could be really helpful. Sidenote, listening to this as an audiobook while stretching has been a surprisingly good choice.

Miss Kopp’s Midnight Confessions by Amy Stewart: This is the third book in the series and while I really like it, I’m having a bit of a hard time getting through it. Constance Kopp continues to be really cool and I enjoy reading about the variety of cases, I just find myself continually frustrated by the way women in society were treated. I’m about halfway through so I’m definitely going to finish. Just a little slower going for me than usual.

Until next time, we main forever drunkenly yours,

Sam, Ginny, Linz, and Minda

Weekly Wrap-Up: Jan 13-20 Hello All My Buddies! Into the books! Linz's Updates I'm so behind on reading this week it's embarrassing.

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comicteaparty · 5 years

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June 8th-June 14th, 2019 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 8th, 2019 to June 14th, 2019. The chat focused on the following question:

What was the original incarnation of your current comic? What has changed over the lifespan of the idea, and what has remained the same?

Nutty (Court of Roses)

My comic, Court of Roses http://courtofroses.thecomicseries.com/, was originally built around my first D&D character, a half-elf bard named Merlow the Rose. The comic was going to be strictly based on D&D, but as I started going gung-ho on the worldbuilding I started deviating away, making my own variations on races, making my own pantheon, and even formulating different magic rules and creatures. It's still largely inspired by D&D, and other fantasy works like Lord of the Rings, Elder Scrolls, etc., but I'm also trying to make the world my own, too!

Pencilz

My comic the Caraway Crew https://tapas.io/series/The-Caraway-Crew was originally based on my childhood friend group. Actually the very first incarnation I had with the Caraways was where we were all self-inserted into some large crossover fanfiction... it was pretty bad aha.(edited)

I just realized I said that twice oops

Draco Plato

The first incarnation of my comic....world was a Sailor Moon parody I believe. There was a boarding school and magical boys and girls that fought aliens or something. Firosofi was the "priest" of water and Affinity was the "priestess" of light (ironically her character hasn't seen the light of day in years). Apus was still around in that incarnation since Firosofi and Affinity were affiliated with it there too I think The initial premise still makes up the core of the Apus ideology I think; people fight in pairs against forces that threaten Earth. The focus since shifted to be much more character focused and on characters who were made much later (Damon and Lyall primarily). http://khyatix.com/

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

But I'm A Cat Person http://bicatperson.com/ basically sprang into being (heh) fully-formed, but I pulled a bunch of the characters from earlier fanfiction incarnations. Jany and Kara Lynn got started in a Neopets RPG; Timothy was created as an OC member of Section XIII in Hellsing; Reseda and Cybele were from the same Sailor Moon exoplanetary team.(edited)

Leif & Thorn http://leifandthorn.com/ started as Colbert Report fanfiction XD It was so far removed from the source material that I spent years thinking "I should file off the serial numbers and try to publish this as an original work"...but it didn't click until I got away from the idea of doing a 1:1 adaptation of the fic's plot, and just used it as the foundation of a world where I could set all kinds of other stories.

AntiBunny

My comic AntiBunny http://antibunny.net/ started out as an all pencil sketchy comic about depression. It experimented a lot early on artistically as I tried to tear down my old style and build a new one. As it's changed over the years I've built up a new art style, and as I've changed as a person I'd say it's become its own story driven by the characters. The protagonist's depression and anxiety is still important, but I think the significant thing is that I'm seeing depression from the outside rather than the inside, and my writing has changed a lot as a result.

mathtans

Interesting topic. I might be unique in that my math comic started as a web serial (though I didn't know that's what it was at the time). Meaning text, but supplemented with drawings, because the point was that the graphs were character hairstyles: https://sites.google.com/site/taylorspolynomials/series/openbar

I gave it up after several years due to lack of interest, then brought it back as a web comic with many of the characters redesigned (parabola having twintails instead of bunny ears, for instance). http://mathtans.ca/ It then crossed over with the serial, meaning both sets of characters are canon and take place in the same universe. https://mathtans.blogspot.com/2017/04/math-character-bible.html

So the more it changes, the more it stayed the same? (As to plot, that tended to be whatever math concept I thought would be interesting, from archaic trig functions to fractals... I never knew where that'd be going.)

kayotics

The original incarnation of Ingress Adventuring Company https://ingress-comic.com/ was, like many other fantasy comics, derived from a D&D campaign I played in. I really loved the character I played (Toivo), and the campaign had finished, so I decided to keep using him in more stories. While the basic idea of the character is the same, I completely removed him from the campaign that he was in so I wouldn't have any issues with having to ask my friends to use their characters. Toivo has essentially remained the same, but large parts of his backstory and the entire setting has been changed from the original game I played him in. And, since I'm no longer tied to D&D with a comic, the rules of magic are a lot more vague. Similar to what Nutty said above, my comic is still largely inspired by D&D and other fantasy staples, but at least I can deviate from them as I continue to make my comic.

MJ Massey

Black Ball http://welcometoblackball.com/ is a much more recent idea of mine and hasn't really changed too much in terms of the overarching story, though minor things have shifted such as Maude becoming more of a main character, giving her a brother who is also getting more involved in the plot, and changing the role of a future character. But it's always been Emily and Chester solving a murder mystery.

MJ Massey

The shifts have been so minor and over time that it's hard to find where the "first draft" ends and the "next version" begins. But I've been mentally shifting things as I go along and see that certain aspects of the story need more attention for the ending to pay off or for the character to get well developed

Who the murderer is has stayed the same and how it happens and why. Just the circumstances around it have been smudged and fixed

Tuyetnhi

The OG plans I had for https://oiydcomic.com/ occurred after I was fiddling with twine to make a one shot short story, and an illustration series/zine project after having an intense dream. At first, I initially wanted to create it into an ero-romance comic about a woman having a one night stand with her dream lover, eventually living together after seeing each other for a few weeks. After thinking about it further (and some beta readers later lmao), I decided to develop into a romance-focused drama about acceptance and making life more than what is instilled in our dreams. I fleshed out Cara's (main character) modivations, her background in regards on courtship and romance somewhat seen in the asian-american experience (specifically Vietnamese-american rituals; some that retained after viet dispora came to the US in the late 80's - 90's and the effects on their children). Basically, from intense escapism to a general exploration on romance. With some common themes I've liked in 90's shoujo with some criticisms here and there.(edited)

Respheal

Galebound (http://www.galebound.com/) started off as what was going to be a short story. I posted it up on deviantART just for fun, and I was totally pantsing the plot xD I had an idea of a magician who for some reason couldn't ask questions, and the stablehand he kidnapped when he wasn't getting a horse fast enough. The original idea was that Din was on the run from something? And Conan was that hapless stablehand the protags burst in on like "I need a horse!" before escaping $antagonist or chasing someone. Originally Din was supposed to be a good guy, for real, just...more of a trickster to Conan's straight-faced act(edited)

Since its inception, the plot got way deeper and a gazillion times more horrible I think at one point an Obligation wasn't necessary for magic, and probably wasn't even totally compulsory But then the Pascal Incident happened and making the Obligation compulsory suddenly became much more integral to the plot and world. And once that happened, Din's backstory got more fleshed out and his character got darker. I still really wasn't sure what to do with Conan at that point, though. That didn't hit me until like seven years after the original five chapter draft going up on dA, and knowing Conan better changed everything It's fun :'D

snuffysam

Super Galaxy Knights Deluxe R (http://sgkdr.webcomic.ws/) started off as a short film I made for an introductory film class in college (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibRdxNLd3Q4). The film is about a fan of a really bad anime forcing his boyfriend to sit through an episode. The production quality of the film is honestly really bad in retrospect (still got an A though lol). At around the same time as I was making that film, I had just watched... I assume Food Wars, and I was on a real "you could make a battle series out of anything" stint. Like, I would just have a notes document full of ideas like "a shonen series about math olympiads". One idea I really liked was "a shonen series, but it's actually just The Wizard of Oz". After I had finished the short film, I wondered what the actual series that the "anime" took place in would be like, so I decided to build out a comic. I outlined five books, the first being based primarly off the Wizard of Oz. And... the rest is history.

deo101

The first incarnation of millennium (http://millennium.thecomicseries.com/) was pretty much a "chosen one" story where the main character had to go kill an evil space queen and was the only one who could do it. I made about 6 more stories that I later decided I could put together, and the easiest way for me to combine them all was a highschool space story, which I developed for quite a while... Later I changed them all to be adults and started building the current iteration of the story (which has also changed a ton)

Desnik

My WIP comic (which has an ask blog: http://ask-a-warlock.tumblr.com/) started out as a video game idea incorporating Banjo Kazooie collectathon platforming with Ace Attorney trial mechanics....obvs I'm not much of a programmer or 3D modeler, so I went with skills that I actually know how to do: Write and draw(edited)

It had one incarnation where the characters run around all of Europe but it was much too much to develop within 250 pages so I scrapped that and focused on one standalone story, which I'm thumbnailing now and I'm hoping to get into the art stage by the end of the year

and now the page count is about 170 so hopefully that's an easier project to wrangle, when it comes down to it

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