#else I'd be sad cuz i love her so much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brynhildr13 · 23 days

Text

About the GazettE.

TL;DR I had recent experiences that reinforce my belief that Reita REALLY is still with me and with all of us. Even if they can be easily explained as coincidental. Please if you want, share something that has been helpful to heal. Take care. Gazerock is not dead. Gazerock never dies.

Full post under cut.

I consider myself spiritual, but not really religious. But let me take you through my last few days, if you so care. Its important to me and I want to share this in hopes that the others in this Fandom know that I share the pain and want to spread my own love and solace and peaceful mourning.

I took an hour drive to my twin sister's to have our birthday hangout on Wednesday. I had the GazettE on plus other vkei groups on shuffle, but I kept skipping most of the other groups trying to find the GazettE songs. A few came on and even with the heavy and rock and headbanging songs I was just sobbing. To the point where I told myself, "you have to keep your eyes open. You need to watch the road." But the TEARS were plenty and heavy. I also started to judge myself a little. Wondering why I was SO emotional.

Then I had one of those intuitive downloads where like, you know it didn't come from your own brain and then after you hear it your mind expands. I don't know who's voice it was. I couldn't repeat it if I tried. But it said, quote "but feeling is healing."

And I lost it all over. Because I knew it was right and I needed to sit with the feelings. So I let myself cry as much as I could.

And then, To Dazzling Darkness came on.

My favorite song. Well, one of them. The whole Beautiful Deformity album is iconic, but that song specifically is one of my favorites BECAUSE of Reita's bass part. (Plus my twin sister, with her music degree, thinks the song is well written and can back up why and that means a lot to me that my sister who isn't the most into heavy metal or knows the group near as well as I do likes THEIR songs BECAUSE they're good).

And after that I laughed a little and wiped my eyes and said, "ok. I get it. It has to mean you're here right now. Thank you."

Maybe it came from Reita. I'd like to think so.

Had tons of fun with my sister. Come home. Worked Thursday. That night i shed a tear or two as i watched a few music videos in bed. And i just said outloud and in my head. "As long as he's okay. I'd like a sign that he's okay, please." And i fell asleep. Fast forward to today.

Today's our birthday. I planned to grab my free trenta from Starbies cuz $0 is the only amount I'll pay there unless I'm desperate. When I got to the screen in the drive thru, i meant to order 2 cake pops for my treat. Cuz fuck it. Im desperate. I'm a sad bitch and I want cake. It's my birthday. But I have anxiety and panicked and ended up asking for them at the drive thru window instead.

And they gave me the pops and I waited to hand them my card and after a few seconds she came back up and said, "oh don't worry about them today. No charge." Once I was sure they didn't want my money I thanked them profusely.

And I drove away. And I smiled from inside. Cuz I'd like to think that that was my sign he's okay. Maybe he pulled some strings to make me smile and to say, with that grin on his face, "don't worry about me. I'm here. I'll be here. Have a cake pop you sad bitch."

I meant it when I said before his spirit is here.. there's truly a feeling of the hole in my heart filling a little. I feel like emotionally and spiritually he's here in my peripheral stronger than ever before. Especially because I had become more of a backseat fan that would slink out of the woodwork when they had new content. My "obsession" (hyperfixation) died down a lot after saw them in 2016 and 2019, and I shared my gift of art and they shared their gift of music. But that love and adoration never ever left regardless of how often I talked about it and showed it. Or didn't. Cuz NO ONE else in my every day immediate circle knows anything about them.

Cuz here's the thing, and this is just me, too. I don't have any better way or words to string together to say this other than this way. I KNOW that they don't "know me". Like , I'm not missing the physical presence like they are. I didn't sit with him every day talking about all the most common shared passionate things we're doing, etc. Etc. So I can argue for myself that because of that the burden is likely to not be as heavy as any of theirs. But music and the arts connects hearts and minds beyond the physical. And for me listening to the music keeps him close, and I almost think that I can Feel him when I hear it. I can imagine him putting a hand on my shoulder (with his endearingly weird thumbs, they always made me giggle.)

Idk I think Im getting a little off track. Long story short, he was physically here with me when he was at the shows. When he wasn't he was still there, off across the world, doing his thing. and while I knew that like in an unconscious way, i never really sat with that to be like "what are they doing right this moment" or that i could energetically feel them all at any time, you know? And I remember getting upset with myself cuz my first coherent thought after I metaphorically picked my stomach off the ground after it fell out of my butt was "well, it HAS to be ok cuz the world's still gonna turn." And that felt horrible to say. And that's not fair to me or to anyone who needs time to process this. I mean, YA, I GUESS, it WILL. But once again. This WILL still hurt for a while. And that's okay. That doesn't mean i have to "get over" it right away either. Cuz once again. The physical loss isn't felt (yet) or as heavy as the bandmen will feel. But I will feel. And my feelings are my truth. And i can argue the band itself will have worse grieving till the sun dies, and that still doesn't mean my feelings are literally less than for my own personal experience. And thats okay.

But getting back to the point of this, thinking and believing Reita's making his way to us, I now just have this new vibration around me that I know is spiritual in nature and it is energizing the room, especially when I play their music. He's here.

I keep thinking about The Haunting of Hill House and Nell's words in the last episode. And I don't want that to ever fade. I'm determined to keep him strong in my heart and my mind. Just like ruki said he and the guys would.

Anyways, I hope yall are feeling as okay as you can. I hope this may touch someone and bring more healing. Free to share things in the comments if you want, too.

#the gazette #reita #visual kei #he's still here and he always will be.#gazerock is not dead #gazerock never dies

24 notes · View notes

lewkwoodnco · 4 months

Text

my tears ricochet but in the context of locklyle after lucy leaves in thb:

"even on my worst day did I deserve babe all the hell you gave me" -> lockwood being so emotionally stunted didnt know how to work thru his feelings in any way other than distancing himself for lucy through no fault of hers (or his technically)

"I swear I loved you till my dying day" -> even throughout their fight/all the way till she left (and even beyond that) lucy loved lockwood so much despite how cold he was to her and how hurt she felt GIVE MY GIRL A BREAK

"you know I didn't want to have to haunt you" -> lucy and lockwood being irrevocably tied to each other

"I didn't have it in myself to go with grace" -> all the fights with holly where lucy was acting arguably petty/immature but only because she was losing her favourite person to someone else

"and you're the hero flying around, saving face" -> lockwood always wanting to preserve his/the company's reputation, wanting to be the best/the 'hero,' acting distant from lucy cuz he wouldn't confront/accept the reality of their relationship (+ strain from him wishing she wouldnt be so reckless which like LOL pot kettle black etc)

"and if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake?" -> pre aickmere's incident, where lucy was getting more and more desperate but he was still so cold towards her

"cursing my name, wishing I stayed" -> sums up lockwood's complicated/conflicting feelings about lucy SO well, he loves her but also hates her for putting herself in danger and is so scared of being that vulnerable with her UGHH

"cause when I'd fight you used to tell me I was brave" -> this is like all those times when lucy went along w lockwood even when he was being reckless cuz HELL if she was going to let him be reckless alone, and they kind of understood each other on that level the way no one else in the series rlly does like its this sacred mutual recognition thats so special to them, but the "you USED to tell me" indicating how their relationship has disintegrated and how that special bond/ANY kind of special bond btw them is rapidly dissolving. also abt how lucy who has been so tough and strong all alone for so long in her life rlly valued lockwood's support/started to need him (was quite bad off without him in her apartment). ofc she's brave and a part of her knows it, but that warmth of having someone stand by your side to catch u if u fall?? irreplacable

"I can go anywhere I want just not home" -> self-explanatory

"you can aim for my heart go for blood but you would still miss me in your bones" -> references how mean he was towards her but underlying all that was his love and need for her still </3 also, connotation of bones = skeleton = death = the empty grave waiting for him??

"and I still talk to you when I'm screaming at the sky"/"and when you cant sleep at night you hear my stolen lullabies" -> lockwood esp is so haunted by lucy after she leaves, 'screaming' referencing lucy's predisposition to get mad rather than sad, lockwood's insomnia like it all just lines up so WELL

"and so the battleships will sink beneath the waves" -> battleships symbolising all the visitors they fought together + maybe even more personal things like helping lockwood process the death of his family, lucy's trauma etc (their shared battles), all of that being left to be eroded by time as if it never existed, as if the thousand tiny moments that made up their relationship never happened

"you turned into your worst fears" -> come off it you know I'd die for you = his number one fear is LOSING LUCY which he does when she leaves. not exactlyyy the same cyz she's still alive but without him there to '''''protect''''' her (he is so that kind of bf) its one step towards this nightmare of his materialising

"tossing out blame, drunk on this pain" -> blaming himself (which is only partially warranted), acting so out of character, becoming even more reckless as he writhes with the pain of losing lucy, becoming more detached from the value of his life etc, almost manic in the haze of his agony

In conclusion, look at how lucy's tears ricochet. thank you for coming to my ted talk

also totally not thinking abt an au where lucy dies after leaving but before she returns because she never stopped loving him even when they were fighting

#the hollow boy spoilers #this lens makes me see the song as sooo devastating rather than angry #like there is an anger to it but its underlined with a grief like i LOVED U man. and now im not there anymore.#no one look at me #i am unwell #lockwood & co #lockwood and co #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #locklyle #lockwood and co netflix

27 notes · View notes

starlightshadowsworld · 4 months

Note

Sorry if I ended up spamming your notifs but I looked through your dashboard cuz of that Fukuzawa post- how he could feel the bond snapping if the people he consider his subordinates died, and... never in my life have I considered that bond could've applied to Fukuchi when the guy left---

(But then it crossed my mind as I write this that idk if it's fortunate or devastating for Fukuzawa if something life-threatening happened to Ranpo because Ranpo doesn't have an ability that bonded with All Men Are Equal.)

Anyways, I love your post about Atsushi being in the mafia as part of the exchange cuz I love seeing Mori suffer.

I always define Atsushi as "light in the darkness" because in Beast, that's how he was for Kyouka (he'll always be her light).

Sorry for rambling, I should've sent you this as a message but idk if you'd feel comfy about some random acc popping in your inbox.

First off, ramble away.

I love having discussions and stuff about the stuff I talk about.

You're good, I don't mind. If you or someone else was spamming my inbox, I'd let ya know.

I do generally prefer people message me thro the asks, especially if I don't know you.

That aside and onto ur message.

I just can't get over that line of Fukuzawa saying he'd know if Kunikida had died.

That in some way he would've felt it. And I see it as a connection, as an almost physical bond between them that would've been cut.

And the idea of his connection with Fukuchi breaking. What was possibly one of the oldest connections Fukuzawa had, dissolving over time.

Fukuzawa trying to hold onto it because he still sees him as his friend. But it's broken and there's nothing he can do to get it back.

And it being so sad because Fukuzawa is used to these bonds breaking at death, but Fukuchi was lost to him long before he died.

I didn't think about Ranpo.

I think Fukuzawa sees it as both a blessing and a curse that he can't feel if Ranpo is okay.

But it's a testament to their bond that it isn't required. They trust each other so much, that it's like a sixth sense for Fukuzawa to know what Ranpo's up too.

While also knowing that if he wasn't grey before he met Ranpo, he would've definitely gone grey after meeting him.

Agreed.

Atsushi is the beast beneath the moonlight. He is the literal light in the darkness.

The idea of Kyouka envisioning the light with Atsushi as a apart of that, is gonna make me cry I love them both.

Atsushi in the Port Mafia to me is Mori being like I'm gonna corrupt you and Atsushi's like power of friendship motherfucker.

Atsushi won't go to therapy but you bet your ass he's giving everyone in the Port Mafia therapy.

Atsushi met Mori as werid ex doctor who gave him good but advice once. I think he'd be a bit... Skeptical this man is the head of the Port Mafia.

I think he'd listen to him but would think through and use that advice while following his own morals.

Like he did before.

Which is infuriating and fascinating to Mori because clearly Atsushi gets where he's coming from... He just won't do it.

Quite a juxtaposition from everyone else in the Port Mafia follows Mori without question.

But Atsushi does not.

I love the idea of his interactions with Mori are him being mostly maliciously compliant.

Like he's not outright doing something wrong but he's still pissing him off.

Something Dazai and Kunikida would've definitely taught him.

Like Mori's going on a whole spiel and Atsushi is just colouring on the floor with Elise paying him no attention.

And Mori can't say anything because Elise is so happy so he's just silently seething.

That whole Anne's Room episode and seeing these two interact for the first time, with Atsushi not knowing Mori's identity

Is just so intresting to me. More interactions between them is something I want.

That and I'd be curious to see if there was any information to do with the Port Mafia getting the bounty for Atsushi from the Guild and Fyodor.

Because yeah it could've just been for the reward, but was there more to it than that?

Or if the Headmaster had connections to the Port Mafia.

Because however small it may be, the Headmaster still made contact with the Port Mafia to sell a gun.

He's not from the area, but somehow arranged a meeting with them.

And in my opinion died very suspiciously.

I mean I personally hc that the injections the Headmaster was giving Atsushi were obtained from Mori when he was an underground doctor.

Whether that's true or not, idk but it would be intresting if Mori knew more about Atsushi than we realise.

But yeah that's just some of my thoughts.

#atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #bsd mori #bsd fukuzawa #fukuzawa yukichi #mori ougai #bsd fukuchi #bsd ranpo #bungou stray dogs #Bsd #long post

22 notes · View notes

son1c · 1 year

Note

Hi! Hope you're doing okay. I love your Sol Sonic AU! Question:

1. How similar and different is Sol Sonic compared to Canon Sonic and Canon Blaze? Like, in habits, attitude, etc. Obviously he has his need for freedom, but how does he present himself to others? Does his royal upbringing have an impact on his conduct?

2. His fighting style. You made his outfit pants similar to the firefighters in the anime Fire Force. How does he fight, in a a way that differs from his Canon counterpart and Canon Blaze? Does he breakables a lot? Does he ever learned swordsmanship, because imagine Sonic wielding a sword made of fire.

3. Character conclusion. Sonic's need for freedom vs his duty to his kingdom. Does he pass the ruling to someone else at the end, or does he forsake his desire for freedom completely after his mission? Or does he find a compromise between the two?

4. You said that Sonic's sens of duty towards his kingdom is stronger than his desire to be free. What got him to finally act on that desire? What villain, or threat, motivated him enough to strike out without contacting anyone else for help to deal with the threat in his stead?

These are all I have for now. Take your time in answering them. Love your artstyle and your Sonic Prime AU of Shadows. Drink and eat regularly!

strap in. this response got REALLY long

sol sonic isn't a fusion between sonic and blaze's personalities! his personality is the same as it's always been, it's just now, he's been forced into a situation that's not suited for him. his royal status challenges his free spirit and makes it difficult for him to truly live the way he wants to. it's hard on him-- he represses a lot, and finds himself oftentimes feeling dissatisfied with his life.

as for how he presents himself to others… sonic, canonically, creates a mask for himself, a very specific image that he wants other people to see. it's the same with sol sonic. except now, there's an extra layer of "everyone is counting on me AND it's my job". so the pressure is up even more. he can't show his sadness or dissatisfaction, he can't let people know when he's frustrated, because he has to keep a level head and make the best decisions he can for everyone.

most people view him as incredibly intimidating, but that's just because he's got an iron grip on his emotions. he can't cry. not because of sega… but because he needs to be the person people can rely on to keep everything together, even when anyone else would be falling apart.

he doesn't have much fondness for other royals. he's friendly enough, and plenty cordial, but the only one he has any real connection with is the neighboring kingdom's princess, elise. they bond over being put in a position they didn't ask for. and he finds some comfort in knowing he's not alone in feeling the weight of a kingdom on his shoulders (although, he doesn't tell her that obviously).

as for his "royal upbringing"… i think he thinks it's silly. he's not one to "follow expectations" if he finds them boring and pedantic. he's very casual when it comes to the way he interacts with all that high society shit. but he knows-- it's just another part of the mask. and he should at least try to keep up appearances. so he'll entertain it. but he never takes it very seriously.

his fighting style isn't much like blaze's… that type of flashy wizard type shit. it's not really his style. i'd imagine he uses his fire powers in a much more melee type style. fire kicks/punches etc. i also think it'd be fun if he kind of like, incorporated break dancing into his fighting style? like his moves are very reminiscent of a street dancer-- cuz that's his REAL personality. the freedom he feels when he can let loose with his flames reflected perfectly in the style…

also, i'm gonna say hard yes on him using a fire sword. that's literally the coolest concept ever and i was already thinking about drawing something like that at some point so yeah. it goes hand in hand with his more hands on combat style too, since the "sword" is really just an extension of himself (as opposed to something that can be sent flying like a fireball).

"does he pass the ruling to someone else at the end"… sonic would never shirk responsibility to someone else just because he didn't want to do it. he doesn't want to-- but he will. "it's not about chivalry for me, i just gotta do what i've gotta do." he takes care of people, he protects them-- how could he simply stop doing that? just because it's difficult for him? absolutely not.

but he doesn't forsake his desire for freedom either. after his quest to save the world, he realizes he can kinda have a hannah montana moment. the best of both worlds. he can go out and interact with the world WITHOUT abandoning anyone. in fact, he can find new ways to help people through venturing out. he's still tethered to his duty, but he can stretch his legs. if only just a little bit.

so... the question has to do with the overall plot of this au. so i'll explain that now: basically, what if iblis is sealed in the sol dimension but like, not perfectly? there's cracks. fire comes through... and iblis minions rise up, tormenting civilians and endangering property and etc. so sonic takes it upon himself to manage that, even though he's not supposed to leave the castle. then one day, the sol emeralds mysteriously go missing, and silver appears. not a good sign. sonic takes the opportunity to get the hell out, reasoning that it won't take /too/ long to save the world.

canonically, blaze sealed iblis away and saved the future. but what if the god was able to escape death? what if it fled to an alternate timeline... where things are just a little bit different?

so, the person who stole the sol emeralds was actually mephiles. not au mephiles. THE mephiles. from canon. and he's got a horrible grudge against sonic... mephiles' plan is to lure sonic away from the castle so he can trick the prince into unsealing iblis. by a twist of fate, this time it's sonic, who, with the power of the sol emeralds, is the only person capable of such a feat.

#angstandhappiness #sol sonic #thanks for the questions wow <3 #text heavy

66 notes · View notes

vrisrezis · 2 years

Note

I'm in love with your "dr characters + their ideal partners" posts. It all feels very true to their characters.

By any chance, would you write the sdr2 cast + the types of people they would hate? I'd just love to analyze/see what opinions they might have on other charactees I know.

Keep safe, I love your writing!

TYSM !!! I’m glad u agree :) this was rlly fun !

Mahiru would hate anyone that’s lazy, I feel as though this would be obvious to her though, she’s an open book and makes it very clear she hates those that are unreliable. If you remind her of her father, she just isn’t interested!

Peko would hate you if you acted like you were of the moral high ground but deep down were a piece of trash that didn’t actually care about others at all. The reason she liked fuyuhiko was because despite how he acted he has a kind heart deep down, so having somebody be the complete opposite.. she would hate that kinda person.

Ibuki doesn’t hate people really, but when it comes to romantically interests she’d be the least interested in somebody with an attitude like fuyuhiko or more accurately, hiyokos. She’s not gonna be very attracted to somebody that constantly belittles her and makes her feel bad, but I also find that ibuki things being kind to those around you is an important thing? She would be put off by this, deep down of course.

Hiyoko would hate you if you didn’t know how to defend yourself, perhaps like Mikan. It just reminds her of her old self and it would make her just fucking hate looking at you. However, I can see her somehow getting over this if she ended up liking you for some reason.

Mikan wouldn’t hate you either, but she wouldn’t like somebody that’s mean to her. It would form a toxic relationship with her for obvious reasons, she would feel an intense need to get you to forgive her already for living, maybe you do constantly berate her but you care about her somewhere right? She knows you make her feel awful all the time but it’s okay right?

Nekomaru hates the idea of dating somebody who isn’t themselves. Who is constantly trying to be somebody else, he’s an honest guy and he just can’t stand the idea of dating somebody who can’t be honest to anybody, especially themselves.

Gundham is similar to nekomaru, he cannot stand dating a liar. Dating somebody who isn’t true to themselves, but at the same time he also feels like it’s due to the trust issues he possesses that makes him feel this way. Also not being an animal lover cuz. Tf

Nagito would hate anyone that’s .. yknow.. sad. Miserable. It’s the epitome of despair and he would hate somebody like that. To add onto this, being talentless. To him, you’re just boring and average and do nothing to improve society.

Chiaki wouldn’t want to date somebody who’s overly negative. It’s one thing to be pessimistic but being a Debby downer about everything is just upsetting to her and she’s extremely bothered by this. She won’t say too much on it though.

Sonia would hate if somebody was just simply a shallow individual. She’s a kind person and cannot imagine dating somebody that doesn’t care for others or have empathy in anyway. Especially for animals!

Akane can’t stand the idea of somebody constantly blubbering about how pathetic and useless they are. Like she doesn’t hate Mikan or anything, but somebody that uses being a victim as a shield for holding accountability. That’s the shit she truly hates.

Souda just can’t stand the thought of dating anyone that is like junko but honestly that’s really it. Souda is a pretty open guy and doesn’t hate people all that easily and would be down to date most people. You’d have to be downright terrible for him to hate you.

Fuyuhiko would hate to date anyone that made him feel like he didn’t matter to them. Example; not answering his texts, calls, only talking to him to get things from him, etc. he hates people like that so much.

Hajime hates the idea of dating an egotistical asshole to be honest. He just can’t imagine it, maybe it comes from a place of insecurity and a lack of confidence but he finds egotism annoying. He can excuse it if it’s due to an inferiority complex though.

217 notes · View notes

actualbird · 2 years

Text

analysis: SSR Under The Milky Way, luke pearce, and dichotomies that make him a wonderfully contradictory mess of a character and make this love story one i really adore

(wow, thats a mouthful of a title. cuz this is a mouthful of a post)

wc: 2.7k

obligatory disclaimer that these are just my own thoughts and interpretations. spoilers for up to luke's personal story 4, his anniv card obviously, and other cards here and there too

luke is a mess

hes Such a Mess. i dont mean this in the "physical space organization" tho that is hilariously canon (pls whenever we're in the 2nd floor of his building i cant stop focusing on the papers on the floor, one of them literally under the leg of the table, MY MAN PICK UP UR FILES JHSDVFKJSDH), but i mean it in the emotional sense. and i also mean it so lovingly, cuz it's among the many things i love abt his character. hes so messy, he has so many character traits that i'd classify as flaws and faults that make him interesting to endlessly rotate in my brain, hes SUCH A MESS IN SO MANY WAYS and he even says this outright in his personal story 3 as a general statement

and after i read his personal story 4 and then his anniv card, his mess was at the forefront of my brain because it ultimately made his anniv card So Satisfying in terms of scratching certain story itches ive got, in terms of addressing his emotional messiness thru the crux of his romantic relationship with mc

and i'll get to that in different portions of this post. but first, i wanna lay down one by one what causes his mess; dichotomies in how he thinks and how mc acts as the other side as the narrative foil, and how all this adds up to a love story i really, really love

inevitability vs. hope

i’ll start with the most obvious one. ever since luke’s personal story 1 allllll the way up to this anniv card, the inevitability of his illness and his limited lifespan prognosis looms over and informs the decisions he makes. which, yknow, makes sense. thats a Heavy Thing to have to deal with, and luke for a large amount of his story doesnt want this to be anybody else’s problem but his exactly Because it’s heavy. it’s sad and upsetting and causes worry, and ever since luke was a kid, he was already beginning to harbor a guilt for hurting other people or bringing bad upon their lives (mentioned and shown in SSR Shape Of You)

even after personal story 4—after he’s made the decision to tell mc the whole truth—he is still convinced of this inevitability. hes so convinced that he sent the letter and skedaddled elsewhere to give mc time and space to think it all through without being clouded by the heat of the moment.

hes so convinced that once mc confesses back to him, he argues with her (sidenote: my GOD getchu a love interest who, in the Confession Card, is literally trying so hard to get the main character to pick ANYBODY BUT HIM because he thinks it’d hurt less. my heart aches SO MUCH). he throws the inevitability of his death in her face, as if to scare her away.

while the whole inevitability thing is so obvious in luke like, Everywhere in his thoughts and stories, i also realized it’s subliminally communicated through even the settings and symbols that are linked to him.

luke runs an antique shop, he’s into photography and takes pictures as memories, he’s got his treasure box filled with things from the past, he’s Always bringing up fond anecdotes of his and mc’s childhood: all of these are things have the concept of the passage of time intrinsic to them, and time passing to luke is something that brings his inevitability closer and closer. so all these symbols implying time are also focused on the past specifically, when things were happier because he’s sure his future can only cause pain.

and mc, of course, is the foil to inevitability. first, she focuses on a portion of time that isnt past or future: the present.

in luke’s personal story 4 when aaron not so subtly grills her about “dangerous professions” of somebody she loves, she says this:

and then when you pick the second choice here in the anniv card (which i did), she says the following lines

while there’s still time, she says.

this sentiment from mc doesnt just crop up here. cherishing the present is something she brings up many times across several stories (off the top of my head: SR Radiant Sunlight and luke’s personal story 2 during that whole story with Zero) and it’s clear that to her, yes, the past and the future are important, the former being a time none of them can return to and the latter being filled with uncertainty, but now matters so much as well. maybe it matters even more, taking into account how uncertain tomorrow will be.

the second thing mc brings to face luke’s inevitability shtick is related to uncertainty: hope.

luke’s prognosis is dire, but as long as he’s alive now in the present, theres still a chance. theres still hope. going back to that scene in luke’s personal story 4 where aaron is grilling mc, she says:

and then immediately after this she cites wedding vows which luke secretly overhears outside still holding the fucking kettle, oh my GOD, i CANNOT TAKE THESE TWO…

back on topic tho, this bit shows that mc’s view of the uncertainty of a future with a lover in constant danger (and “constant danger” in this specific scene is in regards to luke’s job, yeah, but also has pretty obvious parallels to his illness as well: pain can and will happen) skews towards something more balanced than luke’s concept of inevitability. her view is more of like…we can’t ever be sure. and that doesn’t just make space for pain, but it makes space for hope too.

and this view isnt only for his illness to be treated, but for his and mc’s relationship as well.

which brings me to this line, the line that Broke Me and also made me think “OKAY EVERYBODY, PACK IT UP, GO HOME, THE WINNER OF BEST CONFESSION IS NONE OF THE BOYS, IT’S ACTUALLY MC!!!” this is what she says:

i know, it seems simple at first but listen. Listen. this is….so good and so perfect for them. this line has two key parts, the verb and the subjects, and i first wanna talk about the verb: believe.

belief is not rooted on things that are sure. believing in something, anything, is acknowledging there are things that cant be controlled or fully known but taking that chance anyway. belief is faith, belief is hope, and these things as a cornerstone for love is so important to luke/mc cuz it shows how much they matter to each other and that uncertainties arent a dealbreaker but a call to hope and believe and love. mc believes and pleads luke to believe too, believe in her and in them together

which now brings me to the next dichotomy

luke vs. mc

luke, when bringing up his fear of inevitable grief hurting mc, words his feelings in a very particular way. in the anniv card, he says

worded another way, this could go “i could follow my heart, but at the cost of her happiness.”

this is what he thinks the price of his happiness is: mc’s own. and it’s indicative of something i noticed about luke wayyy back in lost gold, that he has the habit of pitting him and mc against each other, particularly his desires against mc’s emotions.

if he is to indulge in what will give him joy, he will rob mc of hers. if he is to value his life, he will ruin mc’s life (actually to bring up SSR Shape Of You again (SORRY IT RLLY IS JUST SUCH A FAVE CARD OF MINE) this is taken further to the (past childhood) implication of like…if he even just exists, he will ruin mc’s life). if he “wins”, she “loses”

this kind of thinking is cuz he is still, up till now—even after he had said in personal story 4 that he said that the secrets he’s got concerns them both—not seeing himself and mc as a team. he’s seeing himself and mc as two people on different sides and only one of them can get out of this with their heart intact.

and of course, as is usual with luke pearce, he’d always rather the winner to be her.

so now i wanna go back to mc’s line which Broke Me™. “You have to believe in me…In us.” awhile ago i was talking about the verb but now i shift to the subject.

mc wants luke to believe in her, which is already in itself something that would hit luke emotionally. afterall, every single argument hes saying is supposedly for her own good, yet he also told her that he’d respect whatever her decision was. if he really, truly does love her, she should listen to her, trust her, and believe in her. going further, she wants him to believe in her and him together.

because thats what a relationship is supposed to be, even a platonic one and doubly so for a romantic one. the people are still individuals, yes, but theyre not on different teams, theyre not supposed to be with one more important than the other, theyre supposed to be side by side as equals, together.

in the verb and subjects of “You have to believe in me…In us.”, mc asks luke to rethink inevitability and indulge in faith, she asks him get rid of the divide he’s put between them that says both of them being happy is impossible.

and in response to this, luke says “...I do.”

cue kiss scene of the anniv card. of course, the crowd cheers, crowd goes wild (the crowd is me) as they kiss. it is so SO satisfying because these two things that luke has struggled with are met with an equal and kinder force coming from mc. the buildup is sublime and crests towards this moment and it is so sweet and tender and amazing.

and then luke’s self-deprecation busts through the wall again. which brings me to the last dichotomy

“how can i ask anyone to love me” vs. “when all i do is beg to be left alone”

the prior dichotomies all had luke as one side and mc as the other, but this last one is different. these are both two sides within only luke and i wanna talk about it not through narrative foils but through the lens of how characters change.

but first lemme explain: the above bits in the quotation marks are lyrics from the song Left Alone by Fiona Apple and theyre really neat lyrics that succinctly articulate a super common contradictory experience, one luke lays out in full with his depressing explanation for his depressing song choice for the music box

after he says all this, mc reassures luke that she loves him and understands that his contradictory actions we are stemming not from cowardice but from the fact he loves and cares about her (and that it all just got mucked up with mixed signals and actions like this because of //gestures at aforementioned two dichotomies). and mc is right wonderful, i love that, shes wonderful!!

but what im drawn to here though is less of the resolution of this issue but the fact that this speech from luke made me realize one thing ive adored about his character ever since the beginning: because of his love manifesting into contradictory desires, he not only goes through character development, but moments of character regression as well. he not only changes for the better, but he has moments where he backslides and relapses into old bad habits.

“why, zak, why do you love this in a character??? are you a SADIST???” yeah, i am. but i do also have valid reasons JHVJKSHDVFS.

on a personal level, i find it’s more realistic and genuine as to how stuff happens with real people. i cant speak for everyone, but as somebody with [redacted mental bad times], seeing a character have moments of going back to bad habits feels great to me cuz in real life, the road of recovery or being a better person isnt always linear. sometimes it’s like this, it’s 1 step forward, 1 step back.

on a story level though, character development and character regression both happening does two things:

1) it highlights just how strong the motives and rationale of the old ways are, which increases the depth of the character and their traits

like, luke has several regression moments in the anniv card alone. first one is one he mentions, he said he’d accept whatever mc’s decision was but his first instinct that he Did act on was to argue with her because it is so ingrained in him to think of her choosing him as the Wrong choice to make, the choice that will lead her to sadness, and he loves her so much that he doesnt want her to go through that.

another smaller backslide moment is that he Runs Away in this card. remember luke’s xmas partyland card, SR A Star in the Palm? the card luke word for word tells mc “I promise that from now and forever, I’ll never try to run from you ever again.”? well, while luke explains in his anniv card his rationale for lying to mc that he’s out of town the moment he sends the letter, that rationale doesnt trump the fact that he still ran away and gave her no information on how to find him (thank u aaron for immediately fessing luke’s location, god bless)

also, he lied to her. ding ding ding, pretty sure he said he’d stop doing that!!! but him running and lying once again highlights how much he once thought his absence in mc’s life would be better for her, he has to be Not There when she reads the letter so his presence doesnt lead her into a choice thatd result in her sadness.

the second thing character development and character regression both happening does is

2) ensures change

brief segue, but for the longest time, i had always known that i personally get bored with perfect characters. characters who always succeed, who never doubt, and whose flaws (if theyve got any) are largely minimal and do not affect the story. and only when i started writing this analysis did i realize why i get bored with perfect characters: there’s nowhere else to go for them.

if theyre perfect, they wont backslide. and if theyre perfect, they cant get any better because theyve already Gotten There. theyre stagnant, and what i personally love to see in stories, among many other things, is a character changing.

luke is so flawed and imperfect and this delights me to no end. his faults ensure theres room for him to improve, and he does. he makes promises, he changes for the better. and once hes done that, theres space for him to regress and fuck up all over again, which emphasizes his traits, beliefs, and what matters to him.

and once hes a step back, theres space for him to take a step forward again because if theres one thing so sublimely clear about luke, it’s that he tries. he keeps on fighting even if it looks like an impossible fight, and in this card, he does this because he loves mc, because he believes in her, because he believes in them together.

so. luke is a mess for so many reasons, and to me, that makes him one hell of an interesting character with some fantastic stories. it makes his and mc’s love story one that focuses on hope, togetherness, and change.

and these kinds of stories, messy ones that have room for characters to fail and also have room for characters to get better, are ones that i really love a whole bunch.

#tears of themis #luke pearce #tot luke #lukerosa #tears of themis analysis

213 notes · View notes

artbyace · 1 year

Text

assigning mitski lyrics to marauders characters !!

cuz all my favorite things have to make me so sad and i love being miserable apparently. i added explanations that r pretty 50/50 on how much i pulled from canon or just sprinkled in headcanons

Reach out the car window tryin' to hold the wind / You tell me you love her, I give you a grin / Oh, all I ever wanted was a life in your shape / So I follow the white lines, follow the white lines / Keep my eyes on the road as I ache - Strawberry Blond

Remus about Sirius while watching him date girl after girl in school

Mom, would you wash my back? / This once, and then we can forget / And I'll leave what I'm chasing / For the other girls to pursue - Class of 2013

Regulus because mommy issues (same ) and those last two lines are so jegulus angst

I haven't given you what you need / You wanted me but couldn't reach me / So you went into your memory / Relive all the ways you still want me - Should’ve Been Me

James, how he never moved past Regulus’ death and spent his whole life looking for him in even the smallest details (really Regulus talking to James)

If you would let me give you pinky promise kisses / Then I wouldn't have to scream your name atop of every roof in the city of my heart - Once More to See You

Dorcas, because this lyric is just absolutely her pining over Marlene. personal HC that Marlene struggled with internalized homophobia so she constantly pushed Dorcas away, fearing what people may say. Dorcas just wanted to give her everything

Still nobody wants me / And I know no one will save me / I'm just asking for a kiss / Give me one good movie kiss / And I'll be alright - Nobody

Peter, feeling constantly on the outs of his friend group and just horrible about himself. Feeling as though no one would ever love him because he wasn’t as handsome as Sirius, funny as James, or intelligent as Remus :((

And I was so young when I behaved twenty-five / Yet now, I find I've grown into a tall child /And I don't wanna go home yet / Let me walk to the top of the big night sky - First Love/Late Spring

Sirius. this one feels pretty self explanatory but how Sirius had to stand up to their mother and protect Reggie as a kid. escaping ‘home’ and finally being able to live freely and cry and experience emotions and heal his inner child. this whole song is So Sirius to me

And autumn comes when you're not yet done / With the summer passing by, but / I don't think I could stand to be / Where you don't see me - Francis Forever

Mary having to outlive all of her friends and ultimately not being able to stand it without them. they were her summer. (also there’s definitely an autumn/lily tie in i could make here but i’ll let that speak for itself)

One morning this sadness will fossilize / And I will forget how to cry … / And then one warm summer night / I'll hear fireworks outside / And I'll listen to the memories as they cry, cry, cry - Fireworks

Remus trying to move on with his life and forget Sirius after believing he was the one who had betrayed Lily and James.. but always having those feelings and grief resurface at the slightest memory of Sirius :(((

All of this turbulence wasn't forecasted / Apologies from the intercom / And I am relieved that I'd left my room tidy / They'll think of me kindly / When they come for my things - Last Words of a Shooting Star

Regulus dying, but being so okay with doing so because he was dying doing the right thing. he died thinking Sirius and James and everyone else would know that he died defying Voldemort, and they would finally love him for it but they would never get to know T_T

You're coming back / And it's the end of the world / We're starting over and I love you darlin' / And I am done, dear - I Want You

Sirius or Remus about each other respectively. they’d finally made it back to each other after Sirius escaped Azkaban, but would never be able to live the life full of love they deserved .

24 notes · View notes

genderlessghoul · 8 months

Note

8, 15, 18

8 : Have you been to a ritual?

I haaaaave I was at the Bridgeport ritual on August 20th. It was actually on my sister's birthday, when I told her I wouldn't be there that day, she asked me why and I just sent her a Swiss gif. She was like "are you fuckin kidding me".

I'm Canadian and I got there by bus, spent 20h travelling to the show. Would do it again in a heartbeat. It was everything. I'll never stop bragging about playing rock paper scissors with Swiss and Phantom

15 : Favourite ghoul costume era?

THIS ONE WAS MEANT FOR ME I SO HOPED SOMEONE WOULD ASK.

Impera in a heartbeat, I live for complicated costumes with infinite amount of details. There's so much happening on those costumes when you take the time to study them it's INCREDIBLE. From the fabric choices that are all so rich and different, to the accessories that were thought through down to the literal buttons on the shirts, I cannot not love them.

I adore the vests, the shape in the front and the metal work they did for those clasps. They're so detailed for something that's never getting seen from up close I LOVE it! The choice of the fabric makes me feral too, I'm not much of a fan of paisley pattern on a regular basis but that one??? Gorgeous to no end. Also a pain in the ass to find but that's another story. Also the back of their jackets??? Please 😩😩😩

And the capes!!! I know they were so impractical for the guitar-playing ghouls but FUCK were they gorgeous on them 😩 the contrast of the light blue satin with the (I'm pretty sure) black suede??? Insane. Beautiful. Gorgeous. The harness system they came up with so the capes wouldn't move around too much is also very much to be admired.

And don't even get me started on the helmets, I mean the idea to change the masks for helmets in and of itself is brilliant. But the design itself is simply gorgeous, so different from what we'd seen before with Ghost. ESPECIALLY different from what we'd seen with Prequelle, that was essentially just a remix of the Meliora masks. The execution of the design is amazing and I loved the idea of personalizing the helmets to each ghoul, so sad they got rig of that in the middle of the European leg. If they decide to ditch Dew's white horns, I might actually start a riot ngl.

If I could be left alone in a room with one of those costumes for 10 fucking minutes I'd truly die happy. Okay I'll move on or else I'm never shutting up.

18 :Favourite Ghost shirt?

Not really a shirt but I just have to say my batwing hoodie. I bought it at my ritual and let me tell you I had DREAMT of that hoodie! It was a lot of fucking money but so worth it, it's comfy as fuck. I'm so glad I got the official Ghost one instead of byuing the cheaper Hot Topic one cuz the HT one doesn't have a grucifix on the zipper and the print in the back is not the same quality.

#the band ghost #ghost bc #meerkat's whatever #ghost ramble #impera ghoul #ghoul costume #bridgeport ritual

7 notes · View notes

kedreeva · 2 years

Note

Hello! Sry if you got this message twice now but my internet connection is super whack and I think the first one didn't get through so here we go again: I think it's basically cannon Eddie doesn't get chicks but if he did, do you think he'd be a player/rake or would he be the type looking for love and a relationship? I think he'd still be the type true love but I'd like to hear your take on it :D

Also, in addition: Do you think Steve's little nuggets speech was romantic? Cuz I always took it as sad testament to how lonely he grew up since we know his parents are rather absent and with six lil nuggets he wouldn't be lonely again (but since I ship Jancy I'm not sure whether that's how it was intended or whether I'm biased. I'll live if Jancy doesn't stay cannon though so this is no bait or stuff, only asking for your honest take on it cuz I love your takes :D)

Your other ask DID go through but I like this one better because I will get to talk about more things.

So first of all......... honestly I think Eddie would be completely useless in a situation where he had to woo someone if the result actually mattered to him. We never see this in canon. The closest we come is his early scene with Dustin and Mike, and we only later learn that Dustin's opinion of him matters to Eddie- and even then, that opinion isn't romantic, that opinion is how cool Dustin thinks Eddie is. Completely different ballgame. His band friends? They sold him out to Jason and co basically immediately. They were just having band practice nonchalantly without him while he was literally wanted for possibly the most brutal public murder this town has ever seen. Eddie never mentions them. He certainly doesn't flee to them for safety.

The scene with Chrissy, while adorable and I love it, has no risk of personal investment for Eddie. If she rejects him or accepts him carries no risk of breaking his heart because he barely knows her. The same thing goes for anyone else he could possibly be involved with (yes, including Steve). He literally doesn't know any of them except Dustin, and Lucas once Lucas joins in and again, he's only interested in impressing them for seeming cool, not for romance. He's able to be big and flashy and lean in too close or play a fool because the outcome does not (cannot, at that point) matter.

And I choose to believe that when faced with actual potential consequences to his actions (ie he actually cares about someone and if he messes up he could lose them) that he would not be smooth at all.

Which is all to say that I think there's a chance he would peacock it up as if he could be a rake, trip and fall face first in love, and actually be a complete fool about it because love actually does matter a lot to him. He doesn't know why he cares about Dustin's opinion, but I do- because he tripped face first into adopting a child and loves him now, and this absolutely useless fool realizes what that means and one (1) second later goes and gets killed about it. He cannot be left alone with an emotion, he's just not responsible enough.

-----

As for the OTHER part. well. I should watch it again but in all honesty.... I think it was face value. People are gonna take it however they want to take it, but personally, I think it was Steve... being vulnerable, wearing his heart on his sleeve. I think he just nearly got eaten alive, they just stole a vehicle, they're kind of planning on going back into the UpsideDown to fight a very, very powerful and bad monster where they might get eaten by bats again. There's a better than good chance he doesn't survive a second encounter.

He's telling Nancy "none of this is how I imagined my life would go, I wanted something so much happier. i wanted a family." and later "I thought I might have been able to have those things with you. I wanted it to be you." I think the writers probably intended it to be romantic. I don't know that I buy it, personally, only because like... I like to think Steve knows Nancy better than to think she wants anything remotely resembling a nuclear family.

So, do I think it was romantic? I think it's supposed to be read as romantic. Do I read it as romantic? maybe sideways. I read it as a boy who thinks he's probably not gonna make it, maybe neither of them will, wanting to let a girl know he'd dreamed of being happy with her, once upon a time. It hits the same chord inside me as the saddest lines poem: "I loved her and, sometimes, she loved me too." It's a very Steve and Nancy poem.

#stranger things #stranger things meta #my writing #asks #anon asks #eddie munson #steve harrington

47 notes · View notes

dreadfuldevotee · 4 months

Text

Today, I let myself be a bit nerdy and fan-ish and listened to the ep of David Tennant's podcast that he did with Jodie Whittaker just as like, a bit of background noise and cuz I thought they'd be a fun duo (they are).

I was not! expecting to get about 10 minutes in before I had to sit on the floor and Cry a bit because Jodie casually shattered my heart into a million pieces. Not because what she said was sad itself, but it made me realize what I've been doing and the root behind something that's been sitting on my soul for the past couple of years.

I'll give you the cliff notes, cuz leading up to the sentence is like 3 different anecdotes (which is a Mood). but basically, in specific regard to persuing acting but applicable to really anything, not having some backup plan. That you are a cat with 9 lives and you should put everything into that "first life" and go after it while youre energetic and willing. If it fails- well then you tried and you've experienced something but its not the end of the world and can go off and try again with the next "life".

It was just so astounding to me! Its such a simple concept and one I've heard put in similar ways to me when I was applying for acting programs as a highschooler, but the difference is the belief and the kind of cavalier nature of it. Actors will always say "if you can imagine doing anything else go do that". Even when they're telling you it's all or nothing, they're actively trying to psych you out, or act like your world will end. And as the shakey ass, mentally ill teenager I was faltered and got so afraid. But never because I was scared of never working or it not panning out, but just so ashamed of myself- that the Thing that's Missing In Me was the cause of doubt in everyones tone. Was why all the support in my life had that deep under current of "run for the hills, get out while you can".

And so I did. I flaked out on all my acting auditions, broke down in tears infront of my voice teacher and ghosted her, never saw my acting coach again and I switched gears completely to go into costuming. Which, I should say, I do love. Its a genuine passion and anyone whos talked to me- and especially anyone who's seen me in my day to day know that I am a certified Clotheswhore™️. But also I'd go into tech on shows and get so envious, it'd bring me to tears. I'd sob through any show and just listening to cast recordings would put me in such a deep depression. I would day dream about being on the otherside of my fittings, about being the kind of actor that my friends and I thought were the "Good Ones". As much as I loved what I was doing, I was always dreaming of something else.

I think the fact that I loved it so much helped me forget that it wasn't really what I wanted, though. I said to a friend like a week ago! that I had stopped listening to show tunes because it depressed me. Which is just? so sad? I have boxes of playbills that I've collected and gotten signed and going to the theater was something I adored. I made so many friends because I was Such An Annoying Theater Kid on both here and twitter and I think that kid would be so mortified that this thing that I still love brings me such pain right now.

This is kind of a shitty revelation to be having right now tho, because I actually still have a semester left of my degree and school is already hard enough before I'd come to realization that I'm only here in this program because I severely hate myself and was too afraid to do what I actually wanted. It was so heartbreaking to me, because I had this immediate wash of "What have I done? Have I made a horrible mistake? is it all too late, did I squander my time?" Theres something to be said about classical education or just any acting education. Most everything I know is my own personal snobbery and Autistic Affliction, but I dont know what thats worth in reality.

A Lot of this can be summed up in "20 smth feels like life is over if you dont have it figured out by graduation" and ik that's silly and untrue at heart. But I felt it then at 15 the way I do now at 21- That theater is a true love of my life and that I've been in a kind of agony being away from it that I wasnt prepared for.

I dooon't know what that means or what that says about me or even what the fuck to do with this information now that its been beat across my head. The self hate is still there. I still feel a burning shame whenever I become aware of how honest I'm being about myself where other people can see. But I think I'll die unhappy if I never tried. I don't want it to be a casual thing because its never been a casual love for me. I could be so happy sewing in my freetime or only doing it as something to keep bills paid but I would want acting to consume my life. I want to take it seriously and squander all other prospects to keep fueling it.

#when i say this is a long ass post- be warned #anyway the one time I want my diary its in another state sooo #heres how my fucking teeth got kicked in (metaphorically) by random silly interview #like i sat on the floor about for like an hour it was so serious for me #sadly if not the first the second step of this Speech Therapy which ik will devesate me emotionally #ugh what is my life #char.txt

5 notes · View notes

the1975attheirverybest · 1 year

Note

Ok I'm inviting myself into the conversation 🤣 I wonder if there'd be any jealousy from George that matty has a new 'person'. They've made it clear that they're each others number one and they get eachother like nobody else does, so it must be a strange feeling having to make space for a new girlfriend. Of course George would be happy for Matty and I'm sure he'd want to get to know the girlfriend and become close friends with her too. But I wonder if he'd sit at home maybe feeling bored and think "I'd normally be hanging out with Matty but he's on a date with xxxx". Or the first time he hears Matty and his gf making an inside joke that he doesn't understand he might feel a bit sad and wonder if he'll ever meet someone who he loves as much as Matty loves his gf.

🌷🌷

OKAY THESE ARE EXCELLENT POINTS!!! yeah, it’d definitely be really weird. You know what makes me think of this stuff, though? Weirdly enough, it’s “Guys.” Like when Matty talks about “missing the guys” and taking a zoot outside and stuff. It just paints a picture of him being away from the guys and suddenly having intimacy and a life with someone who isn’t the band, and how weird that must feel for all of them?

Like maybe Matty reschedules/ nails on George for his gf. Or they haven’t seen each other in a while cuz Matty and his gf moved in together and George can’t just randomly show up at his door, talk music, play video games, and crash on the couch. And it’s a bittersweet feeling cuz obviously he wants his best mate to be happy but also, he doesn’t see him as much. 🥹

10 notes · View notes

fantrollology · 7 months

Note

aether? 💥🕷️❇️ ❤️😭🔥💎

hi sorry it took me a bit to do this!!! busy weekend

ty for being interested in my boygirl

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

Hrmmm… I'd think Aether has trouble with being angry even when she really has a right to be. She doesn't know where to put it or how to deal with it and it quickly spins itself into guilt & sadness. But TBH I think I'd have to RP her more to know for sure!!!! Need some1 to make her feel things. I'd like to establish her more solidly on this blog & then interaction mite help… Agh, I really gotta make talksprites for her so u can interact w her but… I havent been wanting to make sprites :,)

or um if any of my friends wanna throw guys at her <:)

🕷️ SPIDER - what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?

Being taken and made to do something terrible. She's relieved she didn't kill Beau but she didn't even think it was a possibility before that happened.

No little irrational fears I can think of :0

❇️ SPARKLE - what is their most prized possession? what do they value?

Their notebook/diary in which they record all of their encounters & other thoughts! It's essentially a collection of meditative prose, anecdotal info on ghosts, sketches, and, now, notes from her mentor.

She values life & respect for it above all else.

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?

Words of affirmation & quality time :)

😭 CRYING - what makes them cry? do they cry easily?

Aether tends to tear up a bit at any strong emotion -- happy, sad, angry, whatever! A big full cry from her is pretty infrequent but she'll shed tears regularly. If she's crying it's probably on behalf of someone or something else, though.

🔥 FIRE - do they have any self destructive tendencies? what habits do they have that hinder them from becoming their best self?

I wouldn't say its self destructive inherently, but Aether is very very trusting and forgiving and its gotten them into trouble a few times. They've been lucky not to have anyone take too much advantage of it in the past, but of course she is newish to this blog still :")

💎 DIAMOND - how rich are they? can they live the lifestyle they want to?

Aether gets by! She doesn't need much to be happy and she's not hurting for cash or anything. She could stand to have a more reliable source of income to like… treat herself more? But she's comfortable enough.

I think cuz I haven't used her a lot some of this stuff might change as she grows as a character!!!

#aether #emoji ask meme #anonymous #ooc asks

4 notes · View notes

simptasia · 10 months

Note

I think i remember an old post ages and ages ago where you said if anyone ever sent a threesome post daniel/char/miles you'd go insane and i can't remember if anyone did so here is that ask i'd love to hear a threesome hc between these lil guys

it is funny how when my brain isn't fixated on something else, for whatever reason my mind settles on picturing these three people before i go to sleep. romance, mundane stuff, fucking, pregnancy

mainly fucking

it's just a comfortable groove my mind has settled into over the past t,,ten years. well. jer, bex and ken are all talented babes who deserved to be in the show more. not to say dan and miles didn't have depth. they did, but it feels like so much of their story is off screen

because it is. fucking writer's strike

annnnyways. this prompt is so very broad (specifics make me a happy sapphie), i will try to collect my thoughts as best i can

i still haven't figured out how long the time on the boat was. basically i need to figure out the time between michael's flashback in "meet kevin johnson" and when our sci team land. and with that, i have the playground for these three meeting

so information pending, i go with a month

within that month, daniel and charlotte fall in love, that much is clear. but where does miles factor into this? the writers seem to have forgotten miles should have like, some kinda feelings about these people. not romantic like i do, but Something. a science team that neither science nor teams

so miles was pulling his "i don't care about people, leave me alone" bullshit on the boat but it barely worked and dan and char hung out with him anyways. misfits sticking together kinda thing. espech cuz keamy and his friends totally woulda been awful to all of them

char takes it upon herself to be dan's carer, because Nobody Care Him, and at this point dan badly needs help. and, naturally, they fall in love and they're being all held gaze-y and touching each other a lot for a not couple. and miles and noami are like "jeez get a load of these two". anyways char loves dan but she feels that doing something about that would be taking advantage of him. what with the severe brain damage

my version of charlotte is a very sexually experienced lady (i.e a slut. i say this lovingly). miles is a slut too. so they're horny and lonely and bitter so they become fuck buddies. yeah, as far threesome shipping goes, technically char/miles is the weakest part of the triangle, so it's ironically that those are the two i have bang first

oh a good way to go about this is for me to describe how each part of the trio feels about the other

daniel towards charlotte: it wasn't love at first sight but he made eye contact just a bit too long. pure love and devotion. like, to a concerning degree. like, he would (and does) absolutely risk the lives of himself and others for her. however it's not just My Love My Soulmate My Goddess level awe, he does genuinely respect her as a human being. like, her intelligence and boldness. it can come across like he's got her on a pedestal but nah, this dude is just adoring. that being said, in daniel's eyes charlotte is perfect

charlotte towards daniel: the moment she saw him she saw this sadness in him that was sympathetic. but she didn't feel pity, just a strong desire to know this man. char has no desire to Fix Men, she went into this caregiver role out of a desire to help somebody who clearly didn't fit in with the world around him. char had often felt lost or alone in her life, so a connection was felt. plus, dan just makes everybody softer. over the weeks, the desire to just stick by him turned into affection, fondness, friendship, attraction... love. as mentioned she chose not to act on it. and on the island, after hearing that dan loves her, she still keeps it to herself. i think she was waiting for a better time, "when we're home, when things aren't so life threatening and hectic, i'll tell dan how i feel" but that time never came, not in their lifetimes, at least

miles towards daniel and charlotte: okay so these go together because they're tied up in one emotional rollercoaster. so at first to him they're just Weird Nerd and Hot Feisty British Chick. then they're those nerds that hang out all the time- oh they're into each other. whatever i guess. miles doesn't care. wish they'd bang already because they're being so cute they're annoying. man, they're cute. Wait What. No. Don't Get Attached. Love Is A Lie And Everything Dies- uh anyways. sex isn't sad. think of char while jerking off. why is faraday here, he's not even hot........ oh, actually into this. and then char isn't banging dan so she bangs miles and that suits miles just fine. and he can keep pretending he doesn't care. basically his feelings towards char is going from finding to her hot to also, liking her. and with dan, thinking he's weird but lowkey wanting to protect him (in a miles way, so sassing keamy, and supporting the rest the group in subtle, bitchy ways). and also getting a confused boner for him because dan sneaks up on people like that

charlotte towards miles: went from "oh this arsehole" to "he's funny" to "oh, oh there's something hiding under there" to "we may as well fuck". the recognition of hidden depths comes before the fucky. just like with sawyer. they're bitchy fuck buddies

daniel towards miles: daniel always liked miles, even when miles was just straight up mean. because somehow, someway, daniel always had a feeling like miles didn't really mean it. maybe it's cuz daniel has been really bullied before so he Knows things. maybe its the look in miles' eyes when he thinks nobody is looking. so, dan's feelings towards miles are relatively simple. he's always liked him and found him funny, and that can easily form into affection and loyalty, because it's quite easy for dan to like people. i submit to you, dan falling in love with desmond within a span of 2-ish hours. and trusting kate and jack within an hour. dan needs friends. if somebody is genuinely a nasty person, he's not so down

in limboverse this expands further, dan and char start from almost stratch (but with ~Soulmate Feelings~ ala kate and claire) and then one day experience a Memory Love Blast (as ya go) and then they make out and tearfully confess their love for each other

all very lovely and angsty and would no doubt be scored amazingly

miles and char get far more to their relationship in limbo, as the show decided they're friends! so i've expanded that to they're bestest friends ever. they met because char works at miles dad's museum and he introduced them. soon after they banged in the coat room

(they mistook their otherworldly "we have a connection" feelings for Intense Lust and acted accordingly. and they weren't wrong. for whatever reason i insist upon these two having great sexual chemistry. so i've rolled with that)

so they get the fuck buddy thing too but over a longer period of time and with added friendship. i love the char/miles limboverse dynamic

so! how does that become dan/char/miles?

well dan and char were already dating (from finale onwards) but the remembering thing makes the feelings even stronger. so they're basically fully committed. and char and miles had this arrangement where she and miles are always friends of course but their physical relationship only happens in between char's many, many relationships. so fully and totally in love with dan, char ponders to herself one night that this would mean never being with miles again. and she realises that makes her sad. it'd make miles' sad too but he opts to ignore that feeling because he's pro dan/char

so after thinking about it a lot she decides to sit her boys down at the kitchen table and extend an offer. she knows she's taking a risk, she worries if she's being selfish or greedy, but she has to ask. and she's basically like "dan i love you, miles i love you too, Can Miles Be A Part Of This" but more complex than that. like letting dan know that he's Enough. and miles quipping something like "wow, you'll miss fucking me that bad, huh?". i have a bagillion stories of these three in my head and they're all amazingly written, i promise

i feel the real turning point in the convo is when daniel, gears audibly turning in his head, asks "do i get to be with miles too?"

note: get to

so yeah, they become a thing. shocking, i know

ya know. i haven't even started on the sex stuff yet

now, i don't want it to come across like miles, dear miles, is some kind of fuck pet for this couple. given the races of the people involved, that'd be a bit yikes. no, Fuck Pet stuff is for the dom/sub stuff char likes to do. as i imagine these three, it's a genuine, respectful relationship. just they're all emotionally fucked up in different ways, especially miles. mind you, remembering his life will help out with miles' openness and emotional maturity

it's just that i realised that it could come across like i'm depicting dan and char as this pure breath taking love and then with miles it's like Fuck Fuck Fuck, like he's just an object. and thats not true. dan and char are also Fuck Fuck Fuck in my heart. and i love miles dearly and acknowledge and expand upon his character vehemently

heck, i think i understand his pain more than the writers do. but i have added my own interpretations. as is my right

anyways. sex headcanon lightning round: femdom char. masochist miles. obligate bottom daniel. char is insanely loud, like it sounds like she's faking it cuz it sounds that over the top. daniel is so into char's hair that it's a fetish. miles has his nipples and cock pierced. dan is great at eating pussy. miles has a filthy fucking mouth. char gushes like a goshdamn fountain because i'm driving this fucking bus

in the book of their life there would be a chapter called "Charlotte And Miles Help Daniel Discover Fetishes". daniel isn't totally oblivious (he went to oxford, he knows some things) but he's certainly far less experienced than char and miles. and he's never watched porn

so he's gonna learn some things about the world and himself. and theres also the fun of dan surprising them with what he already knows. he already fingers himself, thank you very much!

"charlotte pegs daniel and miles" feels so obvious to say, it's almost laughable. but there ya go. and thats all i can wring out of my brain for the time being. if anybody has any specific questions or statements, go right ahead!

so it all turns out great and they all end up living together and having The Best Sex Ever and they have a cat and four kids and they live happily ever after because the lost finale didn't care enough about these people to have them go into the light so They're Mine Now

thank you for your time

#it's unreal that you sent this to me just as i entered the season 4 stage of our rewatch #we're at the Being Shifty For No Reason stage #lost headcanons #i went on a bit. of course #i didn't know what you wanted so i rambled

2 notes · View notes

horizon-verizon · 11 months

Note

rereading F&B (again) makes me think what was Rhaenyra doing when she and Daemon were exiled/banished/confined from KL after they married. like what was her state of mind? like i know the blacks would know that there can be a war but i also feel like it must have sent them all into such a horrible state. We already know Rhaenyra took it the most horribly ofc but i think of the rest of them too. the kids, daemon, even Corlys and Rhaenys. Their world literally tilted in the matter of days and it just kept getting worse, losing one person after another. all this while Alicent in the keep had a whole protocol of what to do when Viserys died. not mention power of court while Rhaenyra was way for years. she literally had the central power place of westeros. like ugh. but it also makes me proud that the blacks took KL during the war and like 95% of people who were sworn to them were loyal way after Rhaenyra and Daemon died. did what they could. like it makes me so fucking sad cuz: viserys out of his pettiness i'd say kept the blacks away for a significant period of time. he was a shit father to Rhaenyra and loving too as he was towards his other kids but she loved him despite all of the wrongs he did towards her. also, do you have any meta on Rhaenyra's character?

Disclaimer:

I have, in older posts, explained the thinking (that I suspected) that inspired such a lapse in judgment on Rhaenyra's part. One of such post is linked in one of the paragraphs below. You could also search for them in my site's tag of "Rhaenyra in Dragonstone" or go to my pinned post and click the link to said tagged posts.

Doylistically, Rhaenyra's lack of "focus" (not to be that Try Guy) on what would happen after Viserys died can be attributed to GRRM just wanting her to be at a huge disadvantage at the beginning of the war, for that effect of off-kilterness and foreshadowing things never being the same again after 10 years of peace and presumed happiness with Daemon and her kids.

However, writing this error -- without providing any sort of other reason other than she made Dragonstone her home -- does still belies her intelligence, or at least sacrifices that for that effect described. Because she had 10 or so years to contemplate the aftermath of her father's death. *EDIT (8/21/23) *And perhaps he did that on purpose to highlight how misogyny doesn't care what kind of person a woman is so much as it tries to reshape her into an evil being needing destroying so she could become the reason why women, in general, shouldn't rule and "disturb" the "natural" order of male rule. *END OF EDIT*

At the same time as I said in this post, I can't help but think that (whether GRRM intended this or not) was the point of her tragic flaw: needing to self determine above all else (coming from the misogyny and direct attacks) and thus glomming on to the present reality of love and happiness so not being or performing real preparations.

Again, I do not think her going to Dragonstone in the first place and leaving Viserys was a bad move or even dumb, because she truly needed to be on her own away from Alicent's harassments, to rule a domain without the greens' interventions, and to make sure her children are raised apart from the prejudices and intrigue of court. At the same time, I also would have liked to see some acknowledgment of a need to plan ahead (criticism of GRRM's writing). At least a little more.

*EDIT (8/21/23)* At the same time, I can see why forcing a character into a position where it is easy to judge their lack of foresight using all sorts of reasons, and sometimes fans use misogynistic ones.

Which goes into GRRM making Rhaenyra too mentally vulnerable to the greens even after she had gotten her "tribe" (as Emma D'Arcy calls it, since the situation is still the same) and domain. Room to plan, ponder, strategize. GRRM is basically saying (by the negligence) that Rhaenyra was so blissed out and/or unwilling to really deal with Alicent and her crew when she did visit Viserys and strew in long term plans because of the stressors that they are and her past with them that stretched into the present.

I think this setting aside of strategization was for mainly the sake of plot but there you have it, my thoughts.

Perhaps GRRM was just being sexist-ly clumsy with such a key character. After all, he could still could have had her strategize more, put that much more attention to her political stances and come up with ideas AND keep the fact of her supporters coming in after her death and her/Daemon retaking KL AND show more of her inner struggles with acknowledging her own faults, her past, relationship with Alicent etc. Perhaps, in his eyes, this would have undermined the "most unreliable story told in F&B" goal, though. IDK. These things do not have to be mutually exclusive.

Finally, yes, Viserys is still responsible for much that goes on after he dies (apart from all those kings that came before him, esp Jaehaerys). His:

suspicion of Daemon was unfounded

forcing his daughter to marry a gay man

refusal to acknowledge his wife and daughter hate each other or that the first was plotting against the latter (to the full breath that it needed, by reinforcing Rhaenyra's base)

marrying Alicent at all, even if Laena didn't exist (which goes into how ambitious Otto's and Viserys not seeing or willing to acknowledge how much influence Otto had and was trying to get)

not allowing Daemon and Rhaenyra to marry sooner or allowing Daemon to annul his marriage to Rhea Royce (that alliance went nowhere and really want necessary after Rhaenyra was born, of marriageable age, etc.

continuing to have kids with Alicent after the first boy

recalling Otto back after Harwin and his father died...after he himself dismissed him for, and I quote, protesting against Rhaenyra's continued position as heir

Just...so much could have been easily preventable.

Okay, so I have an admittedly loose definition of "meta" that fandoms produce. From what I've seen, a meta is a nonfictional piece discussing/analysing/describing anything to do with the characters, original plot, adaptations, etc. AS WELL AS anything fan created. However, googling it, I find it is only discussing/analyzing/etc. fan-created content.

So if it is the former, then I have many of Rhaenyra metas. You can search up the tag "Rhaenyra's characterization" for any meta I reblogged from others as well as my own. If the latter, not really? I remember a piece of fan art of HotD Rhaenyra and her kids (except Baela and Rhaena) plus Daemon and criticizing the artist's decision to leave out Baela and Rhaena AND the reason they gave for doing so.

#asoiaf asks to me #rhaenyra targaryen #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #fire and blood characters #rhaenyra's characterization #fire and blood writing #fire and blood #rhaenyra and feminism

4 notes · View notes

yuukei-yikes · 1 year

Note

A lot of people seem to not like the manga as a starting point but its what hooked me. I saw will stetsons lost time memory and I was like "what???" "thats it???" and found the rest with my brother at like 2am. the mangas slow fun pace that is instantly cut off by horror is fun, the flashbacks are great characterization.... the only part i didn't like was the dissonance between Harutaka in mangaroute1 and mangaroute2.

it was a bit confusing. anyway do you prefer the anime or manga's version of takane as she seems to be your favorite character. (for me its gotta be the manga, the anime just did not do it)

the manga is what hooked me too! back in january 2014, there was tiny vinnie binging all the songs and what was available of the manga at the time in just one day...

i think the reason ppl dont recommend the manga as a starting point is the second manga route. personally, i recommend the manga as a starting point but only until volume 4 after the route we start with is over. and then i'd come back to second manga route when im done with everything else!! my kagepro recommendation is 1. songs 2. manga until everyone dies lol 3. novels 4. finish the manga 5. anime.

the thing with the manga is that it doesnt rly go into what the normal route is for very long. we keep saying second manga route but its like, idk MOST of the manga is that route.

i do like the manga for the same reasons as u, but sometimes im a little eh bc of mahiro sato's obvious knkd shipping and stuff lol. and i did write a whole bigass answer abt why i hate what happens to takane's character in haruka's arc in the second route. otherwise i dont mind the difference all that much. and i love her as ene in the rest of it. its just a few things that drive me crazy ok ill just link the post lol sorry i just have. um. strong feelings.

OK UR ACTUAL QUESTION hmmmmm well yea i'd say the manga or novels. i get what u say abt the anime but truly the anime did not do it for any of them LOLL there was barely any time for anything let alone good characterisation. like come on there's 11 main characters and 12 twenty four minute long episodes. wdym u dont like anime takane she was there for like (checks) 40 or 50 min in total?

takane is incredibly sidelined in the anime much like everyone else cuz. lol. AGAIN. kagepro is not somehting u can fit in a 12 ep long anime. yuukei yesterday in the manga and novels goes a lot more in depth about takanes personality and relationship to haruka. not to mention they put kano's little Disguising Myself As Someone Dear To You That You Have Regrets About on her instead of shintaro which was crazy. to me that did so much damage to kano's character. i wouldnt call myself a kano expert bc he's an insanely complicated character to tackle LMAO but... i dont know. i just dont think he would do that to ene. shintaro is one thing, we all know kano's little thing abt shintaro, but ene?? its like, he does that to her BECAUSE of the thing with shintaro. kano's pissed and frustrated at everyone moving on while he's stuck behind and ESPECIALLY at shintaro and takes it out on ene for being the main reason why shintaro is moving on. its a little unfair. i dont think kano would be THAT disconnected to do that. not to mention when he pulls that trick on shintaro he isnt half as harsh as he is on ene!! he just kinda spooks him (tho ofc thats enough to send shintaro spiraling LOL) while to ene he's like YOURE THE WORST FUCK YOU and then the way ene kinda laughs it off after also pisses me off LOL yeah kano could do this im not saying its COMPLETELY ooc but he would be in an incredibly despaired rock bottom moment and he'd be super apologetic about it later. post str kano and takane friendship *holds head*

and if you read the novels and kano's feelings and thoughts over takane it makes me sad that's what they chose to do in the anime bc in the novels kano regards takane as someone he's jealous of bc of how confident she is and "her ability to doubt people" and how he thinks they're similar ppl. like we rly dont give enough credit that TAKANE is the first person kano ever opens up to in his life. he even says the conversation they have might as well be the first conversation he's ever had with anyone, and they both head out to the hideout being the ones who have to admit something to the people dear to them (kano the whole clearing eyes thing to kido, takane the ene thing to shintaro) and its not for no reason!!! kano sees something in takane. he knows theyre similar, but at the same time he is jealous. that together sounds a little like he wishes he could be more like her. OUGH. and how they just chose to translate that whole thing into kano being awful to ene and berating her for trying to save shintaro is soooo fucked up. it bothers me so much. #notmykano

WHY AM I TALKING ABT KANO THIS IS ABOUT TAKANE. OK i was driving my point abt how the anime isnt a good judging point to any of the characters LMAO and i guess i wouldnt be able to tell u which "version" of takane i like best, or anyone for that matter. to me all medias are the same version of the same character. im in too deep all of them. the takane that almost kills kenjirou for outing her as lightning dancer ene is the same takane who admits it by herself. idk. guess its a good question but i dont have a good answer. thats also why i hate second manga route takane bc she does shit i dont think she'd do and it pisses me off LOL

#ask tag #you: what do you think of manga takane #me: starts talking about kano and the novels #sry for being insane #kagenalysis

6 notes · View notes