philza: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
tommy: Several traffic violations.
techno: Three counts of resisting arrest.
wilbur: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
y/n: Also, that’s not our car.
3K notes
·
View notes
Technoblade: Do you wanna know how I really hurt my wrist?
Tommy: Yes
Technoblade: I was hoola hooping. Philza, Y/n and I attended a class for fitness and fun.
Tommy: Oh my god
Technoblade: I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.
Tommy: Why are you telling me this?
Technoblade: Because no one will ever believe you
Tommy: You sick son of a bitch
2K notes
·
View notes
cc!Techno: You're trying to use my ego against me?
cc!Tommy: I thought it'd work.
cc!Techno: No it worked. I'll do it.
224 notes
·
View notes
Ranboo: did neither of you think this was a bad idea?!!?
Tubbo: oh, no, we did
Tommy: we just decided to do it anyways
287 notes
·
View notes
Ranboo: I don't think we can manipulate, mansplain, malewife out of this one guys
Techno, holding up his sword: manslaughter it is then
1K notes
·
View notes
c!Tommy in limbo or smthing post-smp: wait so why'd you have that giant prison constructed anyways?
c!Dream: if I'm being honest it's because punz was busy that day and he's 85% of my impulse control.
506 notes
·
View notes
Wilbur: This date is boring!
Quackity: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.
Wilbur: Then why did you invite me?
Quackity: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Big Q I'll do whatever I want!
282 notes
·
View notes
Tommy, to the Squad: I’d die for you.
Techno: Then perish.
Wilbur: You will.
Ranboo: Please don’t.
Philza: Cool.
Tubbo: I’d die for you first.
542 notes
·
View notes
Tommy: He is to steal the woman of my dreams!
Y/N: You say every woman is the woman of your dreams.
Tommy: I have a lot of dreams! And most of them are about women!
477 notes
·
View notes
Wilbur: *making a speech*
Y/n: *stubs their toe* fuck fuck fuckity fuck
Wilbur: a very eloquent addition, y/n, thank you
1K notes
·
View notes
Dream: Sapnap, you'll be working with Karl and Y/n.
Sapnap: Alright! My fantasy threesome!
Everyone else: *blank stares*
Sapnap: ...Of people on a team.
2K notes
·
View notes
c!Tommy: c!Wilbur and c!Phil would be ashamed of me if I was a murderer. c!Techno, on the other hand… he’d buy me ice cream
140 notes
·
View notes
Y/n: Wait you like me for my personality?
Dream: I was surprised too
407 notes
·
View notes
Dream: You cannot kill me in a way that matters
Tommy: You wanna fuckin bet?
83 notes
·
View notes