#do I want to be her or date her
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color sketches from yesterday's livestream (vod is over here for a couple of weeks)! I was in the mood to play around with some light scenarios
#one piece#monkey d. luffy#cat burglar nami#trafalgar law#trafalgar d. water law#Law's design based on blednokrov's amazing girl piece design that has been on my brain ever since I saw it#do I want to be her or date her#the age old lesbian struggle#my art
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the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.
the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.
friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.
if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!
what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!
people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.
you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.
your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.
#writeblr#i actually didn't want a girlfriend before nat#and my dad recently said to me - raquel. i don't approve of the promiscuity#1. i am 30.#2. i had casually dated about 4 people over 18 months.#3. i do believe he was just mad that i get more girls than he ever did#i had to look this 60 yr old deacon in the eye and say. okay so i have a girlfriend first of all im just not tellin yall about her#and secondly.#OKAY???? OLD MAN I DONT EVEN LIVE HERE WHAT ARE U GONNA DO ABOUT IT#briefly considered asking nat if i could pretend we were a one night stand kind of a thing
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a rendezvous beyond
and a halfway closeup just bc im rlly happy with how the bg turned out lol
#spider man: across the spider verse#spider punk#spider noir#hobie brown#noirpunk#SPIDER LESBIANS!!!!!!!!!!#they are both trans by the way#rebluvio also draws lesbian noirpunk go check that out!!!#but ive been wanting to do my own fem designs for a while haha#then. finally. brown-spider gave me the perfect inspiration#FAT BUTCH TRANSFEM NOIR CANON (im lov her)#i wanted to keep hobie���s usual wicks but then she just looked like. regular hobie#she got her hair down for a date but yall better know its in a pineapple most of the time lol#i like the power move of not changing their names for genderswaps so they’re still hobie and peter#maybe short for something longer idk#anyway they are the wlw couple of all time#classy girls who kill fascists… like what more could you even want#theyre still also nerdy dorks tho its intrinsic to their characters#cw alcohol#i guess?? since theyre in a bar?? sure#spiderdykes
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astarion origin playthrough worth it just for all the extra moments where he does the "sad wet cat" face
#bg3#bg3 spoilers#thoughts about media#astarion#*kisses his forehead* my awful little bastard man... i love you and your big sad watery eyes.#IT'S SO FUCKING QUIET THOUGH IF YOU YOURSELF ARE PLAYING HIM GOOD LORD#I'M SO USE TO HIM COMPLAINING TO MY TAV!!!!#OR BANTERING WITH HIM OR KARLACH OR WYLL!!!#I MISS HIS THEATRICS!!!!!!!#not that it's ENTIRELY quiet. until i found karlach i was travelling with shadowheart lae'zel and gale.#and let me tell you. gale and lae'zel do NOT shut the fuck up if they are together.#they were literally having an entire tinder date while we were trecking through the woods to go get karlach.#i NEVER knew they talk so much because while i've travelled with them individually in past saves...#...i've NEVER had them in my party at the same time!#gale is actually pretty nice to lae'zel! he asks a lot of questions but doesn't condescend her as he does others sometimes.#that's probably because he's afraid of her though. I would be too were I nothing more than a wizard with 8 strength.#I do like how you can look at pretty much any two companions and get a well written and generally enjoyable dynamic!#It feels like they considered that a lot of people would want to maybe pair off the companions they didn't romance with each other!#and wanted it to be easy for really any pairing to work... if a person just paid attention to their shared interactions.
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the thing about eliot spencer as a character, right. the thing about him.
(and as always your mileage may vary on my analyses so if we disagree that's cool actually)
is that he is in fact a somewhat emotionally constipated idiot who is occasionally sensitive about his perceived masculinity and gets defensive about emotional intimacy around other men (largely hardison, who's much more comfortable expressing affection and embracing a softer kind of masculinity), but eliot displays enough emotional awareness and sensitivity and respect for women etc etc that anyone who's been subjected to that era of television will put on rose-tinted glasses without even looking twice.
(and he is, don't get me wrong, incredibly emotionally aware for a professionally punchy guy with enough trauma to sink the titanic. it still startles me to see.)
on top of which we have the layers and the accessories and the excellent hair with the secret braids and the way he barely has an ego and he's good with kids and protective of his team without taking it too far, and some of us never stood a fucking chance.
#eliot#eliot spencer#orig#further discussion in further tags#I'm being perhaps a little critical and there are other ways to read eg the fragile masculinity moments#but I Do think they were intended this way and largely come across this way#I'm quite happy playing with a fanon eliot who's better at this shit is the thing? it feels faithful enough to the original.#but this is something I'm chewing over in a rewatch and it's interesting so far#the fact that he pretty consistently respects women doesn't stop him from treating men and women differently y'know?#the fact that his bantering with hardison expresses affection and gets quite soft over time#doesn't stop him from pushing hardison away on a semi-regular basis. often physically.#the fact that the fandom unanimously decided he's an utter gentleman in matters of dating#doesn't quite negate the time he physically stopped aimee from getting away when he wanted to talk to her#though that's one I might disregard because it's so early and I think they hadn't quite figured out the characters then#and it was admittedly a brief moment followed by very consensual happenings#perhaps. honestly. eliot may be reflecting the attitudes of the show here.#which were very progressive for the time and are still startling on several fronts now but also showing definite signs of age#arguably fanon eliot (as I understand him) is eliot adjusted for inflation. as it were.#there's a lot going on here I'm having a normal amount of thoughts about it I'm. stopping now
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the summer after finishing university in New York, Marinette gets invited to a camping trip with Alya and Nino and his best friend. which, honestly, is for the best. at least she has more time than the four years she's already had to figure out how to reach out to her one-time superhero partner, with whom she fell out of touch after the reveal.
only, it's Adrien Agreste waiting for them on the meeting point, beaming so hard at her that it's blatantly obvious they know each other well. in her panic, what is Marinette supposed to tell Alya and Nino to protect their identites, if not that they used to date?
(fake exes AU x there was only one tent)
#miraculous ladybug#writing prompt#ladynoir#adrinette#if you thought fake-dating was ridiculous enough get ready for: fake exes!!#Adrien is sunshine. his lady!! he's so happy to see her again!!! but also she did kind of ghost him for years is she mad at him?#Marinette is dying inside. maybe this would be easier if she ever fell out of love with Chat Noir and not just dated for sport during her B#Alya doesn't understand how could her best friend hide a relationship all throughout highschool but she wants to know all about it!#Nino's pretty sure Adrien is still in love with Nette which makes everything so much more complicated. couldn't they just stargaze in peace#I'm clearly having a lot of thoughts about it but I also do not think this is getting written unfortunately#poor boy sitting in my drafts for a year now. someone liberate him!!
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i was thinking about how i wished leverage had a birthday episode for some of the characters cause that would be sweet, but then i realised something and basically…. okay here’s my thoughts in quotes form, just for fun
hardison: so when’s your birthday? i could plan something for us and the team to do and-
parker: i dont know
hardison: you don’t know… your own birthday?
parker: no, how would i know? pshh, cmon, you’re telling me you remember EXACTLY when you were born? watch this - hey, eliot, do you know your exact birth date?
eliot, innocently passing by, who was canonically anonymously dropped off at a hospital as an infant: no, how would i know?
parker: that’s what i said!
hardison: excuse me?? what is going on right now
sophie, walking into the apartment: whats wrong?
hardison: parker and eliot- well, okay, when’s your birthday? i just have to prove something.
sophie: …….july 12th
hardison: why did you pause? wait, is that your birthday or sophie devereaux’s birthday?
sophie: ………… (guilty silence)
parker: see, no one knows their real birthday! haha you’re so weird sometimes, hardison
hardison:
hardison: what the fuck guys
#leverageposting#wren speaks#leverage#parker leverage#alec hardison#nate knows his birthday i guess so i didn’t include him. if he was watching the whole time he would probably say ‘idk’ to mess w hardison#they’re having this convo in nate’s apartment but it’s like 3am & he’s asleep & they’ve all broken in to hang out#parker doesn’t know either bc of her ridiculously neglectful foster parents or bc she’s parker & her priorities are simply different to most#people. her birthday is irrelevant to thievery. and sadly probably not related to fun happy memories anyway.#sophie obviously is a good enough grifter to answer confidently but she feels a little bad abt lying to her family by now#meanwhile hardison had a normal foster nana who would have known his bday. most kids aren’t safe-surrendered like eliot so assumably#hardison would have a known bday. and he likes birthdays!#and he wants to throw parker a little party even if it’s a very unconventional parker bday that involves rappelling & jumping off buildings#but he is once again thwarted by the leverage team members having the strangest possible lives#he IS gonna give them each birthday parties tho. even if he has to make up some dates & stuff#sophie’s can be the fake date she gives if that’s what she rlly wants. nate’s real birthday is on file somewhere even if he’s being annoying#rn so hardison just has to do some basic hacking. eliot would have an approximate bday such as the day he was surrendered that his parents#would have celebrated throughout childhood. and parker’s would be april 1st bc that’s alice whites bday (and YOURE ALICE!!!)#as in it’s canonically in the online info abt alice white shown in the juror no.6 job & obvs that’s april fools so it’s funny :)#and hardison has a NORMAL bday unlike SOME ppl and yes he DOES expect presents you heathens!!
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grabby...
#trainer leaf#pokemon#conflictingshipping#pokemon frlg#rival blue#rival green#green oak#blue oak#kashart#hmm this takes when theyre finally dating i think haha#but i just wanted to doodle leaf being flustered this time lol#shes not very good at expressing herself but that doesnt mean she is immune lmao#also green is very much into pda#but leaf isnt quite comfortable with it#they do compromise and eventually#he is able to hold her without her overheating hahahaha#pls get a room.....
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MMM YEAH.
many interesting questions right here!
#house md#gregory house#james wilson#screencap#s04e13 “No More Mr. Nice Guy”#of course wilson would drink martinis i should've known#mental image of house going back to bonnie gossiping and pressing her for more details about wilsons sex life#they're like friends who low-key hate each other but do have the connection and good time#(wilson dates bad bitches only)#“one or more” yeah leave that room for doubt keep him on his toes#also house planting the idea that wilson is the one who doesn't want to have sex w amber#okay. you evil bisexual. i see you#long post#longpost
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I love my girl Miwa but as soon as I read that this image immediately popped up in my head:
#HAVE SOME STANDARDS GIRL DAMN#i want this relationship to work out too but this aint it#how do we relationship#cine te a intrebat#uhmmm theres SPOILERS past this tag in case u care to read this yourself just a quick warning#i kid i joke but this scene fucks me up i like how this manga handles queerness. it shows how messy and painful it can be#like we already got a bit of that with sae and her relationship with sex but this mmmmmm this one i didnt see coming#imagine u work up the courage to confess to ur high school crush and she says she cant date you#not cause she doesnt like you. quite literally /because/ she likes you and wants to take ur relationship seriously and respect you#but she cant do that. because shes afraid of people finding out. of having to hide all the time. of being ostracised. she's tired.#she cant find the strength to do that.#the frustration of being loved but society denying you the possibility of being together... ill clown on Miwa (its very easy) but i feel bad#for her#gaud i need to sleep hai pa
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My butch wants me to tattoo over their top surgery scars. I have never known a love like this oh my god
#the way i adoreeeee her so much#we might do it next month but i told them i really really wanna take my time with the design before settling on the idea so we'll see when!#it's gonna be such an intimate experience i cant wait#i was like ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT ME TO BE THE ONE TO DO IT#they dont want anyone else to do it but meee im like ahhhh#i am in love#mine#wlw#lesbian dating#butchfemme#dykeposting#tattoo stuff
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GIRLS5EVA • Summer Dutkowsky
#girls5eva#girls5evaedit#summer dutkowsky#gloria mcmanus#busy philipps#wickie roy#dawn solano#sine's gifs#does Summer know that Bette Davis "tried being a lesbian” and that Crawford tried to seduce her multiple times? the audiobooks probably#didn't cover that <3#also it would have been topical had she mentioned something about tatu--larry sounds as gross as ivan.#she could have commented on the hypocrisy. the girls pretended to be gay to sell their first album abroad.#meanwhile in local interviews they'd say 'we are normal and have boyfriends.' one of them is openly homophobic supports putin and has run#for office.#anyway i know the series has no such intentions and sum is supposed to be a good/supportive sister but#that doesn't mean I don't think she would benefit from dating a lady now that she is independent/her own person#(preferably gloria but honestly any lady would do)#it wouldn't be hard to buy given that she hasn't had the opportunity to explore her sexuality what with the purity rings and upbringing#//#i wanted to add more moments but eh
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The weird nerd in a labcoat that you talk to every week at the diner appears in front of your door with a rose in his hand wwyd?
#naurrr he's not a creep they already went out before and send chloe to her door before its just this time he wanted to make a cute gesture#like he just knocks on her door asking if she's up for another date lol#i feel a bit anxious about posting my art here all of sudden ngl skdjekaoa staphhhh#like partially idc what ppl thinks but also i care if ppl like me enough skdjskal stop 5 am brainnn#anyway omg i swear its only been 3 weeks since I last opened my csp and im crying i missed drawing waghsgsjqk 😭😭😭#i have a few more days to endure im so excited about resting and continuing my overdue commission wagjhsksakhq#but i do need a warm up though since i feel like im slowing down zzzzz#okay me sleep now snork mimimimimimimi#asukart#selfship#selfshipping#selfship art#selfshipping community#selfship community#self insert oc#self insert art#self insert community#oc x canon#si x canon#professor utonium#ppg professor
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listen. i love el and i think she's a fascinating character. we all know this. i am very clear about this. but like. it really is SO crazy how she really came in and, like... fucked will's life up so fucking bad lmao. i know that it wasn't her fault, and i'm not saying it is, but that's just... such an excruciating writing choice.
it was a choice to have her be the one that opened the gate & essentially sliced will's life into an ugly before and after. it was a choice to have her replace him as mike's number one as soon as she came back into their lives. it was a choice to make her the party's mage and then "change" will from being their wizard to their cleric. it was a choice to make her his sister. it was a choice to purposely have her wear his clothes and have the same bangs. it was a choice to have her ignore him on mike's first day in lenora, despite the fact that he was mike's friend, too, and first. it was a choice to make her oblivious to his feelings.
it was a choice to make them love and genuinely care about each other. it was a choice to make her feel like a monster for everything that'd happened and kept happening. it was a choice to make will not resent her. it was a choice to make him support her enough that he's willing to uphold her lies to mike (!!!) of all people with his inaction.
it was a choice to have him spill his heart out to mike and gift him his painting all in her name. to have him be the one to unknowingly make mike finally say "i love you" to her in response to his confession. to have him realize too late that he's been needlessly pushing mike towards her this whole time.
it was a choice to place will right beside mike, his first ever friend and keeper of his heart, when he told el that his life started just as will's ended.
it was... a bold fucking choice to replace will with el in mike's eyes due to outside influence. it throws them into chaos and disarray because el and will are not interchangeable, and it shows in how...
mike seeks from el everything that will already gives him.
mike readily gives will everything that el begs him for.
el cannot read or understand mike in the innate, wordless, and familiar way that will does.
mike cannot be vulnerable with el, but he opens up to will without even needing to be asked.
mike always heeds, trusts, and listens to will, even when they're arguing or going through a rough patch.
mike always knows just how to mend things with will, because he knows exactly what he needs and he doesn't ever hesitate to do and give it. nor does he need anyone to help him with their conflicts either. he just knows.
el is always left waiting for him to do things for her that he's currently doing for will.
will visibly hates and feels uncomfortable lying to mike, but el can do it consistently with ease.
will is the one that loves mike how he truly wants (and needs) to be loved.
will hasn't been able to move on in full, because he was cast out of his own story and demoted to a supporting role behind the new lead.
el hasn't been able to find out who she really is, because she's been thrust into roles that were never meant for her to begin with. she has always been contorted into the shape of whatever others need or want her to be, but they don't fit because they aren't her.
and, like... there are so many things in this story, which is to say the show as a whole, that would not have happened had the men in el's life not done that. had they allowed her to just be, it's highly likely that the dominoes would've never fallen the way they have.
thankfully, the narrative is set up in such a way that it appears this disorder will rectify itself, but it's still so... upsetting to think about lol.
it all boils down to choices: who gets to make them, what choices they have, why they made those choices, and what happens after. that's all the show is: a series of choices, or a lack thereof, and their consequences with some monster mumbo-jumbo sprinkled on top.
#byler#they were so insane for that and the girlies just ate that shit right up!!!!!#like. wow. they literally did not have to fucking do any of that and yet. they did. they did!!!!!!!!!!!! soap opera moment.#will is so crazy insanely strong and good and full of love and hope because if it was me?! girl. god. i am not ur strongest soldier#i would be the most bitter resentful bitch alive srry . i kno she saved their lives n the world but she was also used to bring tht all upon#them and especially will. like. and then she became his sister and saved his life and became his friend and dated the love of his life#that he's known and has been the closest to literally since forever and she's a good person so it's not like he can even hate her. he can't#even if he wanted to even if he tried to because she's just like him in a way and it's just like . [clenches fist]#this trio is jus so juicy....#mine
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Genuinely think some folks need to remove how we, the audience, see characters and relationships from an outside perspective from how those characters actually interact. Like y'all ask for nuance and I'm telling you that just because Nancy has gone through trauma and absolutely deserves to be as messy and complicated and hurt as she wants, doesn't mean Robin wouldn't think twice about dating her?
It's not about whose fault it is or centering a male character, it's about how Robin, the character, would interpret and internalize the facts she knows. She has no idea what exactly Nancy has been through, like we have. She encouraged Steve and Nancy in S4 to get back together, she comforted him when Nancy went straight back to Jonathan. Robin's place as Steve's best friend, someone she trusts implicitly, the person she wants to combine with, puts Steve as an important aspect of her life!
It's not that she hates Nancy! It's that even though they broke up a year and a half ago, there's some unresolved or redeveloping feelings there for Steve. It's not that I think Steve could/would/should be hurt or angry about his best friend dating his ex. It's that, in my opinion, Robin, from what we see of her, doesn't seem inclined to date a friend's ex. It's about Robin, and her personality, and that means her friendship and love of Steve.
#anti ronance#finda's rambles#stranger things#idk its about robin for me. she would put her friendship with steve above a romantic relationship with anyone#struggling to put this into words but its frustrating when people claim we're making it about steve when i dont feel that way#to me im prioritizing Robin. and stobin i guess#it also seems like people hate being reminded that robin wants to live in steves brain. and that WOULD factor into her choices#that may affect him. yknow. like dating his ex.#its got nothing to do with how i feel about the stancy breakup (messy but if they TALKED could be worked through)#i also don't think they're compatible and have multiple reasons i simply don't vibe with the ship#but those aren't misinterpreted just ignored i guess
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