#design language??? I still need some work on lol
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I’ve been absolutely OBSESSED with Cult of the Lamb recently, like seriously it’s been the only thing I’ve been thinking of.
And since I’m cringe I wanted to draw my ocs in the style. I mean what better why to celebrate a game about cults then drawings my characters who are apart if another cult in the style aldjsks
#I think I got the style down pretty well#design language??? I still need some work on lol#same with color pallets#the more I play the game the more I’ll understand their crafting choices#I don’t think mine are bad but they’re still a bit over dressed#so I have to find a way to simplify them further while still being recognizable#but I think they’re cute sgfutdht#the symbols on them are also important 👀#still need to do research but it’s a start skfhdjkdn#cult of the lamb#cotl#cult of the lamb oc#pjo ocs#percy Jackson#percy Jackson oc#where the wisteria grows#aubrey blake#izabell del toro#wisteria witherroot
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NEON Carnival Q&A Pamphlet Translation
disclaimer: apparently Taiwanese Mandarin is different from what I speak, so some of these may need to be taken with a grain of salt! my credentials are that my native language is Cantonese and I know - but am rusty on - Mainland Mandarin.
Q: Do the characters have set dick sizes?
A: The team has a "super⭐secret measure", every time they draw the characters they'll reference it.
Q: Between Quincy and Olivine, who has the bigger breasts?
A: The team fought over this and couldn't decide, so there's no answer.
Q: I want to know the ages of the long lived ones, the yokai, and the familiars! Who's the oldest?
A: From oldest to youngest are: Kuya > Quincy > Rei > Aster > Morvay > Yakumo > Garu. The specifics of their ages will be revealed in the game.
Q: Who's older between Father and Topper?
A: Father is older than Topper!
Q: The game has a lot of retro stuff, super curious about the producer's age!
A: Retro has nothing to do with the producer's age!!!
Q: How are the kinks of each room thought up?
A: The devs think of them in the small dark room, the artbook sketches include clues.
[t/n: I consulted two other Chinese speakers and I'm still not really sure what the answer actually means, so this is a best guess translation.]
Q: What's inside the small dark room?
A: Tired and busy devs......
Q: When designing event outfits, how do you decide where to open holes?
A: Different people will think of the parts they want to highlight, later on we'll also test different levels of nakedness. (it's not like we haven't thought of throwing darts to decide)
[t/n: little unsure about this one too. it's possible it means they think of which part of the characters they want to highlight, but they used 眷屬 rather than 角色.]
EDIT: @milkeumilkeou has informed me that in the specific context of nuca, 眷屬 means clan members. that's what I get for not playing the game in Chinese... in this case, the better translation is:
A: Depending on the clan member the devs will open the holes at the places they want to highlight, later on they'll also test different levels of nakedness. (it's not like they haven't thought of throwing darts to decide)
Q: How were the voice actors chosen?
A: The producer chose them according to the characters' personalities and the desired voice. Many thanks to the voice actors!
Q: How far in advance do future events begin production?
A: Usually the topic is decided on about 4 - 6 months in advance, and then production begins.
Q: I want to know which character the devs think would be the best coworker!
A: Everyone agrees the best coworkers would be Eiden, Edmond and Olivine; Dante's work ability is also very strong, but he's more like a head that scares people.
[t/n: 'head' may also translate to director or manager.]
Q: Do the characters have body hair?
A: The devs actually really wanted to draw it, but considered various realistic reasons, so the players can't see body hair, but you're free to imagine it! (let Quincy have some stubble... how would that be?)
[t/n: I would guess that the 'realistic reasons' they considered are probably that BL typically doesn't feature body hair, so it might've made the game less marketable.]
Q: Who has the most sexual experience?
A: Morvay! (super fast answer)
[t/n: the question is literally "who has the most experience♂️?" lol]
Q: Does the Klein Continent have a habit of wearing underwear?
A: Klein has underwear. Just like hats, gloves, and scarves, when considering factors like decoration and functionality, to wear or not to wear underwear, and what type of underwear to wear, all depend on each person's preferences.
Q: Is Eiden's light brown hair dyed?
A: Yes, and he'll regularly re-dye it.
Q: Does Eiden prefer briefs or boxers?
A: It's okay as long as it's snug and covers him, and he has some special styles.
Q: I want to know how Eiden gets to work!
A: Eiden rides a motorcycle, and on rainy days he'll switch to public transportation.
Q: What opportunity led to Eiden's interest in design? Did his designing always have to do with sex toys?
A: Eiden has had artistic talent from a young age, and hoped to turn his passion into a job. His first job was being a sex toy designer at Peak of Pleasure, and this job happened to combine his two interests of design and sex. Aside from the overtime, for Eiden, this was an ideal job.
[t/n: in case you don't remember, Peak of Pleasure is the name of Eiden's old workplace as mentioned in Journey to a NU World.]
Q: I want to know Eiden's relationship history! Did he have boyfriends before?
A: Eiden knew he liked men from a young age. When he was fifteen he had a bitter first love, and afterwards his partners were all short term. Towards relationships he carries a generous attitude of easy-come-easy-go, and thinks that being happy in the moment is more important.
Q: Does Topper have others of his kind?
A: He used to, but when he met Quincy, among those of his kind only Topper was left.
[t/n: 手足 may also translate to 'siblings' or 'close friends', as opposed to 'others of his kind'.]
Q: Who makes Topper's outfits?
A: Sometimes they're prepared by Quincy, sometimes they're made by Eiden.
Q: Does the food Topper hide in Quincy's hair affect Quincy washing his hair?
A: No, Quincy will wash his hair when it needs to be washed. But not long after Quincy washes his hair, the food stores in his hair will be quickly refilled by Topper.
Q: I want to know Topper and Father's weights!
A: Little animals' weights will fluctuate, but there's no direct link to fur amount. Topper weighs about a third of a pampo, Father only weighs about half a music box.
[t/n: pampo as in the pumpkins from Eerie Escapade.]
Q: What's Yakumo's signature dish?
A: He's good at everything, especially savory food. Because of his grandparents' influence he rarely eats sweets, and he can't quite grasp the seasoning amount, but after meeting Eiden he's begun to research sweets recipes.
Q: How is Edmond's knights' uniform worn?
A: The uniform has a top piece and a bottom piece, the jumpsuit has a zipper on the back for convenience.
Q: If Edmond came to Taiwan, how sweet would he order his boba tea?
A: After ordering full sweetness, Edmond would feel that it could be twice as sweet.
Q: How many nipple chains does Olivine have?
A: Olivine makes all of his own nipple chains. He'll change them based on style and mood. The number continues to increase.
Q: Will Quincy help brush Topper's fur?
A: Quincy will sometimes help brush Topper, but most of the time Topper will groom himself.
Q: Quincy, Olivine, and Kuya, who would win an arm wrestling match?
A: Olivine would win, because Quincy wouldn't take it seriously and Kuya wouldn't compete.
Q: Please reveal Kuya's real height!
A: It's 178cm ^^.
Q: I want to know Kuya's experiences before and after becoming a yokai!
A: Kuya's journey of becoming a yokai will be revealed in future scenes. What can be revealed now is that, after Kuya became a yokai, he was a lawbreaker for some time...
Q: When Kuya addresses Quincy, why did it change from "boring associate" to "old friend"?
A: When Kuya says "old friend" he doesn't mean true friends, he just likes addressing people in ways that make them uncomfortable, like "Master Rei".
[t/n: Kuya probably didn't call Quincy "boring associate", but I have no idea where to begin looking for what he actually called Quincy.]
EDIT: Kuya used to call Quincy "boring clan member" rather than "boring associate". credit to @milkeumilkeou once again!
Q: Does Garu sleep nude?
A: He doesn't like pajamas that are restrictive or impede movement, but if it's cold Eiden will wrap him up in clothes or a blanket!
Q: When Dante first adopted Sooley, how did they get along?
A: At first Dante got bitten terribly, because he tried to train Sooley to do various tricks. As they spent more time together, the two eventually developed some mutual understanding of wildness.
Q: Can Dante swim?
A: Dante thinks that with something as small as swimming, you just need to learn!
[t/n: Dante dodges the question here and neither confirms nor denies whether he can swim, just says that anyone can learn. knowing how he is, he's probably being ambiguous because he doesn't want to admit he can't.]
Q: How many darlings has Blade made?
A: Because Blade's favorite is cute things, it's infinitely increasing......
[t/n: 'darlings' as in the goofy little statue guys]
Q: Has Rei always been in the Water Territory? Has he moved before?
A: Rei doesn't have a fixed home, he moves regularly. The room in the Water Territory is just one of his hiding places, it used to be an abandoned house.
Q: Does Rei eat when he's experimenting?
A: He'll eat if he remembers, if Father's there he'll also remind Rei.
Q: If Fluff Balls think Fluff Balls are cute, will they eat their own kind?
A: They won't eat each other. If there aren't cute things around, the Fluff Balls will journey in search of them.
[t/n: since when was eating cute things part of Fluff Ball lore...?]
Q: Where is everyone's erogenous zones?
A: Aside from the gemstones, everyone's erogenous zones are as follows:
Eiden: lower abdomen
Yakumo: tongue
Edmond: nipples
Olivine: entire chest
Quincy: dick, palms
Kuya: ears
Garu: tail
Blade: darling♡
Dante: tattoos, especially the Adam's apple and fingers [t/n: might be throat instead of specifically Adam's apple]
Rei: moles
Q: I want to know where everyone starts washing when they shower!
A: Hair: Eiden, Yakumo, Edmond, Olivine, Topper (the fur on top of his head)
Face: Dante, Sooley
Upper body: Quincy, Father (chest feathers)
Lower body: Garu (tail first), Morvay (also tail first♂️)
Anywhere's fine: Rei, Blade (e-droids' bodies will automatically maintain cleanliness)
Kuya: nobody knows where he washes first, but it's said he showers every day
Aster: likes to bathe
Q: When drawing characters, are there emphasized specialties?
A: Eiden: dick size, the balance of everything
Yakumo: height, his slender body, the size of his feet as proportional to his height, finger length
Edmond: waist to hip ratio, thighs
Olivine: chest, eyes
Quincy: arms, shoulders, pecs, Topper
Kuya: face, palms
Garu: his face/cheeks shape, his round butt
Blade: eyes, balanced model-like body, his cheeks when he smiles
Dante: perfectly triangular upper body
Rei: the firm lines of his body
Aster: brattiness and cuteness
Morvay: muscular but not too buff
Q: In Aster's mansion, does everyone have their favorite locations?
A: Eiden: his own study (he designs a lot of things here)
Yakumo: kitchen (cooking)
Garu: kitchen (stealing Yakumo's cooking)
Edmond: garden (frequently has afternoon tea here)
Olivine: library
Blade: library
Quincy: quiet places where he can sleep
Kuya: next to the fireplace
Dante: living room
Rei: places to put collectables
Aster: personal money vault
Morvay: likes being outside, doesn't like staying home
Q: Do the characters have personal clothes?
A: Eiden: in his rebellious phase he liked dressing up, now he prefers simple, comfortable clothes. He has a changing room at Aster's house, and every event he'll absorb the local trends and design outfits that fit Klein aesthetics and seasons.
Yakumo: aside from traditional snake yokai attire, Yakumo's clothes are almost entirely bought by his grandparents.
Edmond: because he's nobility, he has a lot of clothes.
Olivine: because he dedicated his life to the priesthood, Olivine doesn't have many personal clothes.
Quincy: he has few clothes. Most of them are made by him, so they're rare.
Kuya: he likes trendy and new stuff, so he has a lot of accessories.
Garu: it was only after he started living with Aster that he started getting more clothes (Aster and Eiden buy a lot of clothes for him).
Blade: he'll wear whatever people give him, and he looks good in everything.
Dante: he doesn't like wasting money, but as the Sun Lord, he has special outfits for important occasions.
Rei: it's fine as long as it's wearable, he prioritizes ease of movement.
Aster: prefers pretty, fancy designs, and especially likes clothes with cute accessories.
Morvay: likes practical (easy to take off) clothes.
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Permanent - Wooyoung X Reader
Tattoo Artist!Au - Part of the CODN Spring Event - The Language of Flowers
Genre: Fluff, Non-idol!AU
Pairing: Wooyoung X GN!Reader
Words: 1,408
Rating: E for Everyone :)
Warnings: Mention of needles, tattoos, unconventional proposals.
A/n: Something short and sweet! I just thought the idea of Wooyo as a tattoo artist was really nice to think about lol As always feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~
Summary: Expect the unexpected, especially when it comes to your boyfriend.
Bluebell - Grateful
Lavender - Faithful
Lily of the Valley - Sweet
The soft buzzing of the needle fills the air, your hand tightening lightly over the tattoo gun. Wooyoung’s skin is soft and pliant beneath your touch, a soft sigh exhaled through his nose as the needle touches the side of his ribs.
“You okay?” You hum, sparing a glance upwards to his face.
He smiles back, his one arm tucked neatly beneath his head as he watches you. “Never better.”
“This was your idea, you know.” You reply, wiping over the artwork blooming over his skin. A matching print which already rests over the side of your own ribs, curtesy of the man currently laying on the chair before you.
“Do you regret it?” He tilts his head slightly, blinking at you curiously.
You take a moment to finish outlining the final bud before lifting your gaze to his. Nothing but sincerity can be found within your eyes as you smile softly at your boyfriend. “I could never regret you.”
His lips pull upwards bashfully, a giddy giggle escaping his lips.
“I love you,” He coos, reaching out with his free hand to brush his fingertips over the side of your cheek.
You turn your head, pretending to nip at his fingers.
“I love you, too,” you chuckle as he whines, watching as he pulls his hand away from your face. “Now, stop distracting me. I don’t want to mess this up.”
All you receive in response is a hum, another comfortable silence falling around the both of you. You work meticulously on the design, making sure the colours are blended thoroughly into his skin. It has to be perfect, especially if you want it to match your own.
“I still can’t believe you agreed to this.” Wooyoung’s voice is soft, his gaze shining in adoration at he watches you work over his body.
“I’m surprised you didn’t suggest it sooner.” The corner of your lips twitch upwards, wiping the excess ink from his skin once more.
Despite being a tattoo artist, Wooyoung isn’t covered in tattoos. It takes a lot for him to decide to permanently ink his skin; it has to be of great importance to him, and he needs to know that he wants it. He already has a few, sure, but each holds a very specific meaning to him. Just like you.
The moment he suggested the both of you give each other matching tattoos, you went wild. Thoughts of what you could give him, and of what he could give you swirled within your mind until finally, you settled on something meaningful for the both of you. It’s his design that rests on your skin, and your design that rests on his own, drawn in each of your own art styles to make it all the more special. Two of the same, but still unique in their own ways.
The design itself is simple: three individual sprigs of flowers which symbolize you, him, and your relationship.
On one stem, bluebells reside, handpicked by you to represent what he means to you. You’ve always been grateful to have him in your life, and now you can always show him without having to tell him.
The centre stem is a sprig of lavender, meant to symbolize the both of you in the relationship. It took some discussion between you both, but neither of you are anything less than faithful to the other, and this flower represents that. It will always represent that.
Finally, you get to the final flower that was personally picked by him to represent you. The lily of the valley is bright upon his skin, and you notice him smiling down at you as you stare at it a bit longer than the others. You can still recall the very words he said to you when he showed you the flower he had chosen.
Because you are the sweetest thing that has ever come into my life, and stayed.
Thinking back on it now, your heart warms.
Tying the three stems together with a neat little bow is a thin red string. You’re still unsure who came up with that idea, whether it was him or you, but you know as soon as it was suggested, it was a given. There is nothing you wouldn’t do to guarantee keeping him in your life, just as there is nothing he wouldn’t do to keep you. You both work well together, and have grown significantly since meeting all those long months ago in the spring.
How fitting to have such delicate flowers be the symbol of your love.
With another swipe over his skin, you pull the needle away. A flick, and the buzzing stops, taking a moment to admire your work. Though, in reality, you’re simply admiring him.
“Done?” He asks eagerly, attempting to look down at the design on the side of his ribs.
You hum, lips tugging upwards in a satisfied smile. “Done.”
Wooyoung grins, sitting up eagerly in his spot only to hop off of the chair and waddle excitedly over to the full length mirror you have resting at the side of your shop. His eyes flit over his side, admiring the new tattoo as he shifts back and forth lightly on his feet.
He lifts his gaze to yours in the mirror. “It’s beautiful.”
Gently, you place your tattoo gun to the side, reaching to grab the materials you’ll need to wrap it properly before you can truly say you’re finished for the evening.
“You’re beautiful, Wooyoung,” you respond casually, your expression soft as you watch him continue to admire the new tattoo.
He turns to you, a serious expression suddenly painted on his features. “Marry me.”
The words are so unexpected, you nearly drop the bottle in your hand.
You look up, blinking at him in shock. “What?”
Wooyoung begins to walk back over to you, each step firm and determined.
“Marry me.” His gaze is just as intense as the first time he says those words, coming over to kneel before you. Gently, he takes your hands into his own, holding them softly as he stares into your eyes. “You’re the only one for me, and I love you. I only ever want you. So, marry me.”
Your breath catches lightly in your throat, blinking down at him a few times as you study his features. You can see how his eyes shine with nothing but love and adoration for you, his throat working slightly as he waits with bated breath for your response.
Your lips part. “Okay.”
Now, it’s his turn to blink in shock at you. That is, until a brilliant smile is lighting up his features. “Really?”
“Really.” A low chuckle escape you, and you lean forward to place a tender kiss to the tip of his nose. “Now, get back up here so I can wrap you properly.”
A devious grin tugs at his lips as he stands back to his feet, moving to sit back on the chair. His eyebrows wiggle suggestively, hands gripping the sides of the seat as he leans towards you.
“Want to get a head start on practising our vows?”
You smack his arm lightly. “Wooyoung!”
“What?” He chuckles, his eyes crinkling at the sides as he positively beams. “I’m just enjoying the perks of marriage early!”
You shake your head, beginning to treat the freshly inked tattoo on his side.
A loud gasp escapes him, causing you to nearly stumble out of your stool.
“Does this mean I finally get to call you wifey?”
You can practically see him trembling in excitement as you huff out a breath in amusement. “You already call me that.”
“Yeah, but context!” He beams, wiggling his eyebrows once more. “Oh! I wonder if Hwa will be your maid of honour.”
“Why don’t you ask him?” You snicker, knowing damn well Wooyoung is going to be smacked for so much as inquiring such a thing.
“And then we have to decide on a cake, and flowers-“ His excited ramblings fill the space, only causing a loving smile to pull at your features.
Once you’re done wrapping his tattoo, you look up at him, heart swelling with warmth at how excited he seems to be. Your eyes settle on the side of his ribs. You have a feeling you know exactly which flowers are going to be used, and if you’re being honest with yourself…
You wouldn’t want it any other way.
#cultofdionysusnet#codn: spring24#wooyoung x reader#wooyoung scenarios#wooyoung imagines#ateez x reader#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez fluff#wooyoung fluff#kpop scenarios#kpop au#kpop imagines
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hi! not exactly a request but i do wanna ask, whats your process when you're rendering more paint like art? (if that makes sense, English isnt my first language so apologies hdskhsjdbd) i really love how you use the colors and im curious how you do it :0
i’ve been meaning to answer this one for a while so here’s how i painted miku in today’s post (put under the read more because yeah prepare for a long post
i’d also like to preface this by saying that i never follow a set way of doing things, so in terms of what my personal process is like, these are only broad strokes of what i do! sometimes i’ll combine or skip parts entirely, depending on how i feel. also, this is not a tutorial, just how i do things, so please don’t treat it like one :’D this will read like the ‘how to draw an owl’ picture if you do
first, like every artist, i sketch. more specifically, i’m getting an idea of what i want to paint later on. this could be how a scene is set up or in this case, how a character is posed. here i’m not concerned about details or getting everything perfectly, i’m only planning how the thing will be composed. maybe a lot of canvas size changing, or adjusting what miku’s doing (note how busted miku’s right hand looks from all the transforming!) however, i still have to be concerned with how clear the sketch will be to future me, because the sketch won’t be any good if i can’t read what miku’s doing
after that, i lay down a flat gray under the sketch, mainly focusing on giving miku a clear silhouette. this is also a good time to make adjustments to the composition on the fly if i suddenly feel like something can be improved upon, like shortening miku’s left arm from the sketch!
after painting a flat silhouette, i start shading in grayscale, focusing only on lighting. i usually do it in two passes, one for the lightest and darkest tones i’ll use (not black and white) and then a second for midtones to blend them better with the base gray but i forgot to screenshot the result of the first pass 🗿 nevertheless, here is where i can start adding some amount of details. i’m not including any extra accessories yet, just focusing on the base design of the outfit and the character herself (for anyone wanting to draw characters from That Gacha Game, this is how i personally make the process more bearable for myself.) i still use the dark gray to separate where certain details (like the facial features and fingers) begin and end, mainly to make colouring more bearable later.
now here’s where i get the Good Colours. it’s a cheat lol. i put a gradient map layer over the grayscale painting so that there’s a little bit of color to start. some gradient maps can be applied as is, some need the layer settings adjusted to make it look good. this one, for example, is a (free) gradient map set from the csp assets store that needs you to set the layer opacity to 20% and to set the blending mode to color to achieve this result. in general, i tend to pick which gradient map i want to use based on vibes, or basically whether i want the work to be warmer or cooler, colour-wise. but this does do quite a bit of lifting for the colors in my stuff.
and then, finally, i add the colours. i add flat base colours in an overlay layer. at this stage, i’ve made the character silhouette clear enough that i don’t need to refer to the sketch anymore for what miku looks like. also, the gradient map layer does its magic by making the shading a bit more vibrant than it would’ve been without it. after that i paint over with a new layer to add details like the lace.
and then i put some extra shading on top. basically this is where the ‘better lighting’ happens. again, this isn’t a tutorial, so i’m not here to say what each part of the lighting is, but i’ve labeled which layers do which job. in other works where the lighting within a scene is more defined (from a window, from a small crack in the walls, etc) the glow dodge layer may be more opaque and sharper, but since this isn’t a work with that, the lighting was applied using an airbrush. the linear burn layer is also there to make the whole thing darker so the glow dodge doesn’t end up oversaturating miku. i also usually match the lights to the vibe i want, and use a complementary color for the shadows. so here you can see i have warm colors on the glow dodge layer, but light purple on both the linear burn and multiply layer.
and that’s it for the character—here’s a gif showing how each layer adds to miku! (sorry it’s so toasty)
as for the background, depending on the complexity, it may go through a similar process, or if i can settle with flat image backgrounds, i just go for that. it’s ok to use external image materials. i didn’t have a background in mind for this miku in specific, so i got some default csp materials and threw together something
and that’s about a rough overview of what my process for more finished works looks like! again, art is a fluid process so i never specifically stick to certain steps all the time, and you shouldn’t either. i can probably answer why i’d pick this colour over another in one particular work, but it’s something that kinda has to be learned on a grander scale. i think everyone can already feel what colors work with what atmosphere or what setting, even if they can’t immediately explain why. colors and composition do take some level of experimentation to find what works best!
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So just finished watching the ep so review. Spoils ahead:
So the episode was ok to me, solid 6/10 one of the better episodes which since this was supposed to be an "extravagant" ep why does it got better quality than the main eps, idk Viv has her moments like this ep and other eps its a train wreck in writing ect.
Mammon worked on my nerves, from design to his movements, personality ALL of him was annoying, which props for an annoying Villian but its Villian I never want to see back again and he's hinted for some sort of return.
Side tangent: Mammon is like the how many-ith Villian to get a return ep/hint at one. It was 1st cherubs, then dorks, then stella/ice twink, striker/crimson now Mammon & according to the leaked storyboards a ghost guy that tries to talk IMP into off-ing themselves... its a flipping lot and cherubs & dorks seem to be forgotten dispite dorks knowing & having hard evidence they exist, flip Viv chill it with your Villian of the week cos its way too many now.
Anyway, Blitz didn't need to be in this ep besides the flashback. Ozzie got him to talk Fizz out of being Mammon's puppet but ultimately Ozzie spoke him out of it & gave him courage to quit/confront Mammon. Even Blitz being a bodyguard/killing people for Fizz could've been any imp. Blitz is starting to feel like Steven from SU, in every ep even tho the ep doesn't need him/ the episode surrounds topics a wee child shouldn't be in (i.e Lapis trauma dumping on Steven & he a child isn't really equipped to handle that situation).
My fave part of this ep was Ozzie and Fizz. Ya'll I legit prayed Viv wouldn't mess these two up and my prayers were answered. Absolutely a joy these two were. Fizz especially what a darling. Loved that small scenes with him and the deaf imp child, l dont know sign language but it looked genuine animated and was just sweet moments.
From their interactions, Fizz's panic attacks/self doubt felt & were genuine... I felt that as someone that has panic attacks from high stress on my studies/life. It was just handled well. Fizz feeling less than and needing to prove himself from 1. his past 2. his appearance, that accident affected his self image/worth so much (why I felt him forgiving Blitz was too hastily done but I digress) & 3. him doing this Mammon contest still to gain/earn Ozzie's love for him cos Fizz believes Ozzie only sticks around because of this fame Mammon gave Fizz. Ozzie finally saying what he loves about Fizz was lovely, wanted that in the 1st ep but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Their song was... I didn't like it BUT the message in it was beautiful. Lastly Fizz saying fuck you to Mammon from the courage/strength Ozzie gave him was a nice send off... also Ozzie saying he loves Fizz ah ngl that made me smile agh I just love them. I want to see them more than the Stolitz show but thats only a wish. Props Viv, you get 1 brownie point not messing this up.
Last findings, the ep was bloated as hell my soul Viv please stop cramming so much in an ep, this one is 30 mins long & yet still felt bloated. Pacing was a motherfuka damn it was bad & the swearing was jarring (its a Viv written ep I don't expect any less but still gonna point it out) and the comedy wasn't so prominent in this ep, Blitz/Mammon gave some comic relief but in the best and worst ways:
The way the VA delivered this line "to be fucked" made me laugh, the line is cringy but the delivery lol gold
Aand Blitz, my soul shut the fuck up & get out this ep. Last ep & this one he said something so agonizingly cringe I pulled my face
The world of HB is legit American hell or earth just painted red since Fizz named all these places in America just "hellified" where his fans come from.
And very last, congratulations Salem glad you got the cathartic send off you deserve from working under Viv, truly fuck you "Mammon" indeed :) also glad they credited you this time.
#vivziepop critical#helluva boss critical#spindlehorse critical#helluva boss criticism#my post#can we get a moment for Salem cos heck yeah for them whoooo!!!!
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How DOES the C preprocessor create two generations of completely asinine programmers??
oh man hahah oh maaan. ok, this won't be very approachable.
i don't recall what point i was trying to make with the whole "two generations" part but ill take this opportunity to justifiably hate on the preprocessor, holy fuck the amount of damage it has caused on software is immeasurable, if you ever thought computer programmers were smart people on principle...
the cpp:
there are like forty preprocessor directives, and they all inject a truly mind-boggling amount of vicious design problems and have done so for longer than ive been alive. there really only ever needed to be one: #include , if only to save you the trouble of manually having to copy header files in full & paste them at the top of your code. and christ almighty, we couldn't even get that right. C (c89) has way, waaaay fewer keywords than any other language. theres like 30, and half of those aren't ever used, have no meaning or impact in the 21st century (shit like "register" and "auto"). and C programmers still fail to understand all of them properly, specifically "static" (used in a global context) which marks some symbol as inelligible to be touched externally (e.g. you can't use "extern" to access it). the whole fucking point of static is to make #include'd headers rational, to have a clear seperation between external, intended-to-be-accessed API symbols, and internal, opaque shit. nobody bothers. it's all there, out in the open, if you #include something, you get all of it, and brother, this is only the beginning, you also get all of its preprocessor garbage.
this is where the hell begins:
#if
#else
hey, do these look familiar? we already fucking have if/else. do you know what is hard to understand? perfectly minimally written if/else logic, in long functions. do you know what is nearly impossible to understand? poorly written if/else rats nests (which is what you find 99% of the time). do you know what is completely impossible to understand? that same poorly-written procedural if/else rat's nest code that itself is is subject to another higher-order if/else logic.
it's important to remember that the cpp is a glorified search/replace. in all it's terrifying glory it fucking looks to be turing complete, hell, im sure the C++ preprocessor is turing complete, the irony of this shouldn't be lost on you. if you have some long if/else logic you're trying to understand, that itself is is subject to cpp #if/#else, the logical step would be to run the cpp and get the output pure C and work from there, do you know how to do that? you open the gcc or llvm/clang man page, and your tty session's mem usage quadruples. great job idiot. trying figuring out how to do that in the following eight thousand pages. and even if you do, you're going to be running the #includes, and your output "pure C" file (bereft of cpp logic) is going to be like 40k lines. lol.
the worst is yet to come:
#define
#ifdef
#ifndef (<- WTF)
#undef
you can define shit. you can define "anything". you can pick a name, whatever, and you can "define it". full stop. "#define foo". or, you can give it a value: "#define foo 1". and of course, you can define it as a function: "#define foo(x) return x". wow. xzibit would be proud. you dog, we heard you wanted to kill yourself, so we put a programming language in your programming language.
the function-defines are pretty lol purely in concept. when you find them in the wild, they will always look something like this:
#define foo(x,y) \
(((x << y)) * (x))
i've seen up to seven parens in a row. why? because since cpp is, again, just a fucking find&replace, you never think about operator precedence and that leads to hilarious antipaterns like the classic
#define min(x,y) a < b ? a : b
which will just stick "a < b ? a: b" ternary statement wherever min(.. is used. just raw text replacement. it never works. you always get bitten by operator precedence.
the absolute worst is just the bare defines:
#define NO_ASN1
#define POSIX_SUPPORTED
#define NO_POSIX
etc. etc. how could this be worse? first of all, what the fuck are any of these things. did they exist before? they do now. what are they defined as? probably just "1" internally, but that isn't the point, the philosophy here is the problem. back in reality, in C, you can't just do something like "x = 0;" out of nowhere, because you've never declared x. you've never given it a type. similar, you can't read its value, you'll get a similar compiler error. but cpp macros just suddenly exist, until they suddenly don't. ifdef? ifndef? (if not defined). no matter what, every permutation of these will have a "valid answer" and will run without problem. let me demonstrate how this fucks things up.
do you remember "heartbleed" ? the "big" openssl vulnerability ? probably about a decade ago now. i'm choosing this one specifically, since, for some reason, it was the first in an annoying trend for vulns to be given catchy nicknames, slick websites, logos, cable news coverage, etc. even though it was only a moderate vulnerability in the grand scheme of things...
(holy shit, libssl has had huge numbers of remote root vulns in the past, which is way fucking worse, heartbleed only gave you a random sampling of a tiny bit of internal memory, only after heavy ticking -- and nowadays, god, some of the chinese bluetooth shit would make your eyeballs explode if you saw it; a popular bt RF PHY chip can be hijacked and somehow made to rewrite some uefi ROMs and even, i think, the microcode on some intel chips)
anyways, heartbleed, yeah, so it's a great example since you could blame it two-fold on the cpp. it involved a generic bounds-checking failure, buf underflow, standard shit, but that wasn't due to carelessness (don't get me wrong, libssl is some of the worst code in existence) but because the flawed cpp logic resulted in code that:
A.) was de-facto worthless in definition
B.) a combination of code supporting ancient crap. i'm older than most of you, and heartbleed happened early in my undergrad. the related legacy support code in question hadn't been relevant since clinton was in office.
to summarize, it had to do with DTLS heartbeats. DTLS involves handling TLS (or SSLv3, as it was then, in the 90s) only over UDP. that is how old we're talking. and this code was compiled into libssl in the early 2010s -- when TLS had been the standard for a while. TLS (unlike SSLv3 & predecessors) runs over TCP only. having "DTLS heartbeat support in TLS does not make sense by definition. it is like drawing a triangle on a piece of paper whose angles don't add up to 180.
how the fuck did that happen? the preprocessor.
why the fuck was code from last century ending up compiled in? who else but!! the fucking preprocessor. some shit like:
#ifndef TCP_SUPPORT
<some crap related to UDP heartbeats>
#endif
...
#ifndef NO_UDP_ONLY
<some TCP specific crap>
#endif
the header responsible for defining these macros wasn't included, so the answer to BOTH of these "if not defined" blocks is true! because they were never defined!! do you see?
you don't have to trust my worldview on this. have you ever tried to compile some code that uses autoconf/automake as a build system? do you know what every single person i've spoken to refers to these as? autohell, for automatic hell. autohell lives and dies on cpp macros, and you can see firsthand how well that works. almost all my C code has the following compile process:
"$ make". done. Makefile length: 20 lines.
the worst i've ever deviated was having a configure script (probably 40 lines) that had to be rune before make. what about autohell? jesus, these days most autohell-cursed code does all their shit in a huge meta-wrapper bash script (autogen.sh), but short of that, if you decode the forty fucking page INSTALL doc, you end up with:
$ automake (fails, some shit like "AUTOMAKE_1.13 or higher is required)
$ autoconf (fails, some shit like "AUTOMCONF_1.12 or lower is required)
$ aclocal (fails, ???)
$ libtoolize (doesn't fail, but screws up the tree in a way that not even a `make clean` fixes
$ ???????? (pull hair out, google)
$ autoreconf -i (the magic word)
$ ./configure (takes eighty minutes and generates GBs of intermediaries)
$ make (runs in 2 seconds)
in conclusion: roflcopter
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
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Conversations with a Movie Star
Chapter 3 - And HBO
Pairing- Dieter Bravo x ofc!Ava
Word Count- 2.1K-ish
Warnings- I'm really not aware of any for this chapter? A little bit of foul language, one food mention, let me know if I missed anything
Author's Note- Technically still on hiatus but surprise!!, I finished something lol! I struggled a lot looking for connective tissue writing this and decided screw it, I'm just gonna put a bunch of scenes together and hope they still flow.....if this chapter had a theme song, it would be Myrtle Beach by Sunny Ledfurd and it would deserve it's own warnings, so I leave it to you to decide if you want to look it up, lol! Big thanks as always to @wildemaven for listening to me whine and supporting me as I figure out what I'm doing 💕
Ava falls into a routine over the next few days, one that as best as Dieter can tell is designed solely to drive him nuts. She's up early and over to the lobby, banging on the inner office door and yelling at him that the coffee's ready. When he manages to get off the couch- he really needs to stop crashing down here- and stumbles out to the lobby, she nags him about the whole lack of breakfast options situation.
And then she disappears for a few hours every day and Dieter goes back to sleep. Like a normal human being. It's like the goddamn Energizer bunny has infiltrated his space. She's just always doing something. It's exhausting.
He has brief moments where he misses the way Anika just worked around him and let him be and even if that was less tiring, he realizes it probably wasn't very healthy either. Ava is slowly breaking him out of the funk he's wasted the last two years of his life in and he'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit that part of him, a larger part than he maybe realized, enjoys having a purpose again. Even a small one.
She's already bullied him into cleaning up the back office, moving furniture and desks and filing cabinets for fucks sake, like he's used to this kind of manual labor all because she thinks it should be a functional space and not just his own personal little man cave.
"You can keep your big squishy sofa and your precious tv and your absolutely ridiculous hippo coffee table. But we're gonna keep them over there," gesturing to one half of the room. "And then over here, people can work."
And then she'd proceeded to go through all seven million filing cabinets she'd made him move- full of old tax records, and licenses and invoices and God only knows what else and then she hit paydirt, if you're into that kinda thing, which apparently she is. Scrapbooks and photographs and the original blueprints for the hotel.
"They always wanted a pool," Dieter muses, looking at the blueprints. "It was never in the budget. And they wouldn't take my money."
"You could do it now. In the off season if you wanted. Nothing stopping you," Ava shrugs.
She's right. He could. He tucks that thought away for later.
"Hey, Miss Rose?" Dieter asks from the doorway of Ava's room. "That woman staying here, the reporter, she bothering you?"
"No, baby, she just asked me some questions and took my picture. Said she's writing a book."
"A book?"
"Not about you, baby. She called it slice of life. Whatever that means," Rose laughs.
"Oh," Dieter relaxes a little bit but makes a mental note to ask Ava about that later. "What do you think of her?"
"You know the rules, baby. You wanna talk, you have to help me work."
Dieter does know the rules. Rose has been working at the motel since before his mom dumped him here and it's always been the same, if he wanted to hang around and pester her or any of the other housekeeping staff, he had to make himself useful.
Dieter sighs but he dutifully steps into the room and grabs the other side of the sheet she's just tossed on the bed.
"So, Ava?"
"You like her, baby?" Rose grins. She's always been able to read him like an open book and this time is no exception.
"Maybe," he admits sheepishly as they finish making the bed. "Which is just dumb right? It's not like she's staying, she's only here a couple weeks."
"Oh, I think you could sway her if you wanted to. That girl's looking for roots. She'd be a good fit for you, baby. Keep you on your toes."
"You think so?" He asks absently as he picks up various perfume bottles and lotions on her dresser, giving them all a sniff before sitting them back down and moving on to the next thing. He opens a drawer full of silky lacy underthings and his brain short circuits. Is this the kind of thing she's wearing under those tiny shorts he spends way too much time imagining peeling her out of? Good Lord.
"I did," Rose says, reaching over him to slam the drawer closed, barely giving him time to get his fingers out of the way. "But if you don't stop going through her underwear, I'm going to tell her you're a creep and she should stay away from you. What is wrong with you, Dieter Anthony! I swear you were raised better than to snoop through a guests things."
Dieter holds his hands up in surrender and starts backing out of the room, he knows when he's been beaten.
"Hey, DB, come play tourist with me."
"What?"
"You never leave the hotel, come play tourist with me. It'll be fun. We'll go to Peaches, get some hot dogs first."
"I was getting ready to watch Harvey," he whines.
"We can watch Harvey tonight. For the seven thousandth time. Please, Dieter?"
"We can't just leave the place unattended."
"It won't be unattended, Austin's here."
"Who the fuck is Austin?"
"Your new afternoon front desk help. You're welcome."
Dieter scrambles off the sofa and peeks out at the reservation desk and the scrawny sun-bleached blonde currently chilling with his feet up on the counter before turning back to Ava.
"You can't just go around hiring people and he looks like a bum!" He stage whispers.
"You're one to talk," Ava snorts. "He's not a bum. He's a lifeguard. And someone has to hire people around here."
"What do you even know about this person?"
"A lot. We hang out. He's saving up so he can go work at a ski resort this winter. Teach kids how to snowboard. He's cool. And smarter than he looks." Ava grabs Dieter's hand and drags him out of the office. "Now let's go."
Dieter reluctantly shuffles along behind her, glaring at Austin the whole time and the kid offers him a big bright white smile.
"Hey, Ava, check it!" Austin yells as they pass, pointing at the computer screen. "Spider solitaire! I can play, right?"
"Myrtle Beach, Myrtle Beach, Myrtle Beach. Goddamn, I love Myrtle Beach!" Ava sings as they walk along the boardwalk and Dieter laughs.
"No, do not get that stuck in my head, Ava. I'm begging you."
"Ha! But you know it, don't you? C'mon. It's so appropriate. You might've passed on the airbrushed tee-shirt but I saw you grab the saltwater taffy and it's bike week and we're missing the Pavilion."
"Everyone will always miss the Pavilion," Dieter agrees, looking towards the empty space that his mind's eye still fills in with the large sand-colored building that had stood there for most of his life. The shade and cool relief it offered from the scorching sun, the sounds of the arcade and the million games of skeeball played, tickets won and traded in for silly trinkets.
"Can I tell you a secret?" Dieter asks and Ava nods, leaning against the boardwalk railing and giving him her full attention. "I flew in to watch the demolition and cried like a baby the whole flight back to LA. No one knows that, I didn't tell anyone I was here. Not even my grandparents. I just....I didn't have a lot of friends growing up here, I was always the weird kid. But the couple I did have, we spent so much time at the arcade or the amusement park. The rickety ass roller coasters and the ancient carousel. Even just sitting at the fucking organ shooting the shit. I know they moved some of it, but it's not the same. It'll never be the same."
Ava studies him, lost in his thoughts, staring at an empty lot and seeing only the past. She likes this side of him. She likes how real he's been with her about things, not just today, but his willingness in general to humor her and answer all her questions about himself and his family and the motel and she impulsively leans in and kisses his cheek bringing his attention back to her.
"What was that for?" He grins.
"Just a thank you. For sharing that with me. So one secret deserves another, right?" She laces her fingers through his and pulls him a little ways down the boardwalk, stopping in front of the Gay Dolphin. "Behold- my most favorite place at the beach."
"Ava, no," he laughs. "Why here?"
"It's an institution, right? A testament to all that is cheap and tacky. The ultimate tourist trap," she smiles at him as they walk inside and Dieter swears his knees actually go weak. "It's cluttered and messy and an absolutely delightful maze of levels to get lost in and you never know what's around the next corner. Will it be novelty ashtrays shaped like sandcastles or porcelain clown figurines for some insane reason? You just never know! It's an adventure!"
Dieter's toying with the shark tooth necklace Ava insisted he just had to have- one of many "treasures" they left the Gay Dolphin loaded down with- running his fingers along the soft leather cord, feeling the rough edges and point of the tooth and then back up the cord while the credits for Harvey play out on the television screen and he knows any second now Ava will lift her head off his shoulder, stretch, and tell him she should go and he realizes he doesn't want her to.
He never really does, but it's different today, it's more than not wanting to be alone, left to his own devices. It's her. He wants her company. He wants her bright eyes and warm laughter, the way she teases him and banters without giving a shit about who he is, or who the rest of the world thinks he is. This whole ridiculous day of playing tourist with her has been the best day he's had in a long time and he's not ready for it to end.
"Hey, Ava, do you wanna have sex with me?" He blurts it out of a long ingrained habit but it's not really what he means and he struggles to explain. "I mean....just like you don't have to go....do you want to stay?"
Ava picks her head up to study him and then she grins, turning to slide a leg over him and settling herself squarely in his lap. Dieter trails his hands up her thighs, the way he's imagined countless times, tucking his fingertips right under the ragged hem of her shorts while she wraps her arms around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair and holy shit, he didn't ever imagine that would actually work on her.
"I really had a lot of fun today, but not tonight, movie star," Ava laughs. And then she kisses him. Soft. Sweet. Testing the waters. And God yes, is he receptive. And then she's pulling away way entirely too soon to suit him and he kinda hates the groan of disappointment that escapes him as she gathers her things and leaves the office.
Seems like she's always walking away and he's just sitting here like a dumb ass watching her.
"That's not a hard no?" He yells after her and the sound of her laughter floats back to him. He'll take it.
#dieter bravo#dieter bravo x ofc#dieter bravo fanfiction#dieter bravo fanfic#dieter x ofc!Ava#dieter & ava#cwams#pedro pascal character fanfiction
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Hello hello hello! How are you? I’ve looked through you posts and I gotta say, you are very talented when it comes to drawing engines I AM JEALOUS.
I’m wondering tho, what would Alice look like as a human? You’re TTTE humanizations are very faithful to their source material so I’m wondering how would you handle her
Oh I have been WAITING for someone to ask this!
First off, thank you! It's definitely not easy to draw locomotives lol, but I'm still learning and happy with how well they've come out since I started! But anyway, onto Alice... she's come a long way, but this is the human design I've settled on for her:
Here's Alice "Duchess" Stanier! (She got the nickname because of how often she drove Duchesses on the LMS.) Now, Alice is a big engine. Naturally then, she MUST be a big lady! She's top heavy with large forearms, wide shoulders, and long legs. And I don't need to say that she's incredibly strong for a woman (working on a railway for 20 years does that to you). She's also rather tall and heavy for one. (Don't ask her weight. Most people can't handle the truth.) Here's a height comparison between her, Gordon, and Henry. (Gordon is about 6'6.) She doesn't wear jewelry at work, but I couldn't help including a big pair of earrings to represent her smoke deflectors.
She wears her hair in a pixie cut because she used to be a Karen to make her job easier, and because it represents Alice regaining confidence in herself after an ex-fianceé left her for a more "traditionally beautiful" woman. She may like red lipstick and makin' men blush, but she's a tomboy through and through! (Just ask her little cousin, Henry...) In fact, it was that very breakup that pushed Alice as a young lady to start completely new and do something drastic- work on a railway as a cleaner. Except, oops, she fell in love again- with railway life! She got so good at her job, that by the time she was 45 she had reached top link at the LMS!
At first, the tomboy thing didn't exist for Alice. I was modeling her more after Peggy Carter in a femme fatale thing. She had an hourglass shape and a still-short but girlier bob.
But I was just never happy with it! (Which is why I never finished this masterpiece 🤣) But after I learned about those 60s pixies that some women wore, I came up with this sketch and LOVED it. (They are besties, your honor)
This was the old attempt (plus my super helpful notes) at drawing this design, but it felt too boring and flat. I tried jazzing up the shape language a bit, but still wasn't happy with the proportions. But I took that sketch and turned it into the above, and I love the way it looks now! But anyway, that's what I have to say about human Alice. I've been wanting to infodump this for a while lol, thanks @thatcasualgamergirl for the ask!!
#ttte#thomas and friends#thomas the tank engine#fanart#gordon the big engine#alice the royal blue engine#nintendo#ttte oc#henry the green engine#ttte humanized#concept art#tomboy
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riddler design stuff for the insane gotham universe that lives in my head, more content below the cut!!!
-Ed is a liguistics major at GCU, but they also have learned multiple languages as part of their upbringing.
-they took a particular interest in their professor Kristen Kringle, who is much more interested in their work and much kinder to them than both other professors and other students. They take any extra chance they can to be in her classroom or in her presence, even if they know she thinks of them as nothing more than a particularly bright student.
-Due to trying to save money to leave their tumultuous living situation, they work some odd jobs for Ms. Gertrude Kapelput, AKA the Penguin, and the owner of the Iceburg Lounge. They got the job per professor Kringles recommendation. Eds main tasks are hacking into chatlogs and private servers owned by penguins enemies and unscrambling whatever codewords or codes they use to communicate incognito. The job also sometimes involves translating things from other languages.
-Ms. Kapelput, despite being a hardass, actually quite likes Ed, and sees a lot of potential in how he can help her run the underworld. Ed is still very bright-eyed and naive, but is still very troubled. After all, hes still willing to decode what she needs without blinking an eye at the horrifying shit they have to read, and tend to just be enthusiastic about getting to solve a puzzle. Kapelput has an interest in using that to her advantage to get Ed as her right hand man.
-Because penguin both likes and trusts Ed, she often calls them to her personal residence to help with whatever important information just came in. Ed doesn't like going to her home when her son, Oswald is around, though.
-Oswald graduated high school a couple years after Ed, and has just been generally freeloading and getting into debauchery since. He and Ed don't quite get along, but its almost exclusively Oswald bothering Ed from their work and trying to get them in trouble for kicks.
Thats all lol. I have a vauge plot in mind, its more of a riddler origin story in a way i guess? Maybe ill post more maybe not idk lol
#ill probs post more r!ddlebat yuri before i update this ngl#theyre in my brain#anyways#my art#the riddler#batman#batman rouges gallery#edward nygma#will i ever post abt it again? time will tell#gertrude kapelput#oswald cobblepot#the penguin#kristen kringle#soadverse
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꒰⠀🫖⠀— . your future home with your future spouse.
pick-a-card | what's your future home will look like in the future?
꒰⠀sections
[ 1. ] main message.
[ 2. ] extra messages.
[ 3. ] yes or no.
how to choose pile?
꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here's some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.
pile one. pile two pile three.
rules, disclaimer and notes ☆
[ 1. ] just a quick disclaimer : this reading was made for entertainment purposes only. this is obviously a general reading so takes what resonates and leave when it doesn’t, you don’t need to force your energy to read this and leave such a bad comment just to say it doesn’t resonates with you at all because the answer is very obvious! i don’t own any these pictures i collected them from pinterest so credits to the rightful owners.
[ 2. ] please ignore any grammatical errors, english is not my first language dude.
[ 3. ] third to the last one, if you are not an avid fan of this kind of readings and not totally 100% agree about the outcome of this pac please just ignore this post and don’t engaged anymore, this pac can contains harsh, hurtful comments about you that can trigger you if possible, so kindly read at your own risk and take how it’ll resonates.
[ 4. ] lastly, be happy and enjoy reading my works — feedbacks, comments, likes, reblogs and follows are really appreciated by the reader. (that’s me, lol :3)
for tips, donation and paid readings ☆
TIP JAR — DONATION BOX — PAID READING SERVICES
[ 🤍 ] check out my second account @danisetarot . the full list of my works are here ; masterlist.
source and creditable : all of the pictures are collected and downloaded from 'pinterest' i don't own any of them but credits goes to the rightful owners however edits goes and belong to yours truly. i use the editor tools canva and ibispaint for the header and divider.
PILE ONE
Hello my dear pile 1, this is your reading. take what resonates and leave doesn't. enjoy reading! so my pile 1 i see there is someone against in this relationship of you. but that's not really important here, we r just focusing on ur future home/house with ur fs. You will have a happy home life with ur spouse. there is always learning in this family, i love that. You might live in a suburban. ur house will be small yet new, i see u guys will be the one styling & designing it. ur home will always be alive & loud. I see the kitchen, you & ur future family might love to have family bonding there. There is a chance that you will move to the city bc i see someone working there & might be bc of their challenges at work. The house will have a library too. (kids love to read & learn) You guys might also live in abroad. Overall kitchen is the most significant part of the house. For some of you, you would like to have a backyard. It's for your kids to play. Ahh, someone's here has that friend that has a dark hair. They're reliable and trustworthy. Broken promises might come on way that will hurt you that's might be in ur current family. your FS might have a light hair color. Someone here loves to cook, i see a scenario where the kids done playing or came back from home, this person will cook for them. Do you love cooking?if yes this might be you & if no i see you guys will try to learn it for your future family. You will have a big family maybe you will adopt kids or pets. The kids likes to play. This home will be fun and super loud. A lot of helping here, you will teach your children to help each other. Will be close to each other lots of hugs, you will love each other. in a week there is a day that is like a family day, maybe that's ur idea or fs idea. bc you know i see someone that has been hurt bc their family is broken. you guys will love to buy in a shopping malls. even though i see a lot of challenges here & against with this relationship. this family will always be fun, loud, & love each other. you & fs will be good parents and also you will love all of ur kids.
EXTRA MESSAGES
from south. medium to long hair. airplanes. 123. 414. 1954. a pot. boat. sunset. leaning tower of pisa. family. sunflowers. clouds. europe. boy. blue. london. happy thanksgiving. local. beautiful teeth. introvert. blond(e) hair color. work. hooded brown eyes. orange. earth sign. yellow. round eyes. selfish. colosseum, italy. a, l, g u, & w.
"there is a beautiful life waiting for you on the other side of your fears."
"as well as birds & fish."
"i looked up, looking at the endless sky, clouds are still far away from me, this mountain-like build can not know how high the sky is."
YES OR NO
hello my pile 1, choose from 1 to 3 " yes or no " this can be answer to your question so focus & choose the number you most attracted to.
[ 1. ] yes
[ 2. ] no. + don't engaged too much on any negative energy let it go.
[ 3. ] no
Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡
࿙֒࿚࿙֒࿚࿙֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙֒࿚࿙֒࿚࿙֒࿚
PILE 2
Hello my dear pile 2, this is your reading. take what resonates and leave doesn't. enjoy reading! So my pile 2 your future home/house this is a gift from someone i see a feminine energy. You guys will live in a big city. Maybe in a unit or apartment bc i see the word building. In this home a lot of gatherings will be happen, this house always chosen to held a family party or gathering that always be scheduled. This is may abroad. You might also buy another house that has a garden, you or your fs might like gardening to reduce some stress & have some relaxation. The garden will going to have a lot of beautiful flowers & plants. Your babies might be twin, i don't get any specific gender or energy here. But yeah, a twin. You may have a crush on your fs but there is potential trouble here(maybe bcs this person is attractive & people will also crushing on them). However, they're wealthy and ur marriage can be successful. Do you dye your hair? if yes it might light color like blond(e) or you planning to do it so. The feminine energy here is kind. When it comes to financial it won't be difficult for both of you, lots of success & prosperity r showing up here. But you will have obstacles and difficulties but you will overcome that tho. Just be careful to befriend with others they might trying to deceit or betray you bc you know you have a big amount of money. (Potentially by a friend) Their advices are bad. You will get fooled by this person & loss some amount of money. In this house you will do crafts, you might try crafts tutorial you watch online. I see new york city, some of you already live here for some you ur fs might live or working here. Your house will have a big window that when night comes you are able to see the stars and moon. Someone might be a leo sign here. The color of the house might mixed with green, brown & white. For some of you, you guys might own a bird. You will have big clock in this house or time might be important. The design of the house can be minimalist. Also, might have 3-4 bedrooms.
EXTRA MESSAGES
an apartment/unit, shells, butterfly, phases of moon, dried leaves & flowers, camera, short curly hair, february 26, March 4, t(came out thrice), y, z, e, m , r 444, 111, 401, 104, 9, 6,8 , 5 ,red, earth sign(taurus, virgo, capricorn), fire sign (aries, sagittarius, leo) tan skin, lazy, round eyes, struggles, monsoon, volleyball, cherry blossoms, summer, playing billiards & pouty lips.
"struggles won't last always."
"at first dry season."
"afraid for the future comes."
YES OR NO
hello my pile 2, choose from 1 to 3 " yes or no " this can be answer to your question so focus & choose the number you most attracted to.
[ 1. ] no
[ 2. ] yes
[ 3. ] yes
Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡
࿙֒࿚࿙֒࿚࿙֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙֒࿚࿙֒࿚࿙֒࿚
PILE 3
Hello my dear pile 3, this is your reading. take what resonates and leave doesn't. enjoy reading! pile 3 ur future house will be big and old like it could be like antaquated house. For some of your could be a modern mansion like. The structures are well done you might design it or you can get an engineer. A lot of lights for this house. People in this home will be busy. You will have for like five or more rooms. I see living room & kitchen will be large. It can also have an attic. For the outside it can have a ranch. You can live on countryside. Also the hills are alive you will love this place it can give you peace of mind. You will always play ur favorite songs i mostly hear backyard boy by claire rosinkranz u might listening to this song lately. Maybe ur fs or you might could be working on hospital. I don't see any kids here, so might not have kids immediately after married, you two could enjoy yourselves of couple moments for the mean time. This is could also have an antique or vintage things. Someone here like to play polo. somehow, this house might feel you imprison and makes you worry. It can also bring to you anxiety and depression. You will feel like a misfortune. I see the female energy here might have a problem in menstrual(irregular or ovulation problem) & this can be a trouble by getting pregnant. Just be patient and always try bcs i see you guys can overcome this problem. If you think your stress try to open up to your FS, family & friends they will help you especially the dark haired older woman who is confident & kind.
EXTRA MESSAGES
somewhere in north, car, someone likes kpop, hazel/grey eyes, different cultural backgrounds, diversity, living room, cats, concert, motorcycle, extremely fair, church, city, earth, fire & water signs, a, l , c, o f, y , p brown, coupon, east of greenwich, eiffel tower, letter, picture, 49, 35, 25, 2036 - 2038, field, vacation list, bees, color blue & beaches.
"always trust God his plans are better than yours."
"good luck to you today, tomorrow. a life all bright that has no worry & no sorrow.
"and the original neon lights would not only flash, but they could also make neon more colorful."
YES OR NO
hello my pile 3, choose from 1 to 3 " yes or no " this can be answer to your question so focus & choose the number you most attracted to.
[ 1. ] no
[ 2. ] yes
[ 3. ] yes
Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡
࿙֒࿚࿙֒࿚࿙֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙֒࿚࿙֒࿚࿙֒࿚
— 🦢 ꒰ danise's note. [ 07/03/2022 ]
"Thank you so much 100+ followers, i hope you will keep supporting me. I will always try to improve my reading."
song recommended : angel baby by troye sivan.
© daninixx ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work.
note : this pick-a-card is edited when it comes to grammar, proper letter usage and layout. It also proofread, rewritten and revised.
page 3 out all of pacs
#spotify#for you#free tarot#tarot online#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#tarot#tarot cards#pick a pile reading#pick a picture#pick a card reading#pick a pile#pac reading#pick a card#intuitive#cartomancy
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I had this idea where Evie found a baby in the streets of the Isle and decided to take care of it. Decided to write it down. This is between d2 and d3, almost the beginning of d3.
It's also Jayvie centered cause I'm so soft for them <3.
Sorry for any grammatical mistakes, english is not my first language. Hope you like it (if you do, let me know cause I've already written like four parts, got excited lol)
Rescued and Restored - Part One
It was finally happening. Evie's beloved program to rescue all those children from the Isle of the Lost was finally up and running. The Second Chance Program.
After the Royal Ball and Uma's escape from the Isle, there had been several months of preparation. Ben appointed Evie as the King's Counselor, and she had never felt happier in her life. Due to her lack of experience in the field, Fairy Godmother enrolled her in some courses to help Evie learn and understand all the responsibilities that came with being a counselor. It was intense weeks of studying and classes, but Evie managed to impress everyone with her efficiency and organization in this royal position. And when she finally had time to discuss her ideas with Ben, the program for the children of villains was finally ready. She was finally able to make a difference, just as she had always dreamed.
Evie was proving to herself that she was not just a pretty face, as her mother had taught her all her life.
Being the King's Counselor helped Evie financially above all else. The salary was good, and with the profits that Evie 4 Hearts was generating, she managed to make a good deal for her first property. It was a cozy house, spacious enough to live in, host her friends, and work on her designs. It was everything Evie didn't know she had dreamed of.
After all, she wasn't a girl of grand castles. She discovered her love for small and cozy cottages. At least for now.
Jay, Carlos, and Mal helped with the move. Jay practically didn't leave since Evie's first night in her own home. The girl's wardrobe was gradually being taken over by pieces of Jay's clothing. It was the time of rest that both of them needed.
While Evie had all these responsibilities, Jay had now become a coach at Auradon Elementary School when he wasn't helping the blue-haired woman with the details of the villain kids' Program. He had never connected so well with children as he did with his team. The little ones adored him and had enough energy to last the entire week.
They never thought their lives would take such different turns than expected. They never envisioned a life completely free. And now, with the opportunity to offer that to other children, they couldn't be more excited.
"We have to meet Mal at the castle in an hour," Evie said, sitting next to Jay on the kitchen island. The four VKs would be meeting this morning for a discreet visit to the Isle of the Lost. Only Ben, their parents, and Fairy Godmother knew about it. They were going to the Isle to assess the number of candidates for the new project. Evie was eager. She forked a piece of her pancakes and murmured with satisfaction as she took a bite.
"Please tell me Ben isn't going this time," Jay joked, smiling as he saw Evie laugh. "Seriously, I couldn't handle another rescue so soon. I'm still recovering from the first one."
"Mal made sure he stayed at the castle this time," Evie replied, chuckling as Jay leaned in and buried his face in the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent and giving a gentle kiss to her collarbone. "We do need a vacation, don't we?" She reached up to caress the cheek of the dark-haired boy with one of her hands.
"Desperately," Jay murmured, still leaning against the blue-haired girl. "Let's go to Neverland, or Agrabah..." After thinking about it, he said,"You know what? Let's go to both. And maybe the beach afterward."
"Sounds like a plan to me," Evie whispered, giving him a quick peck before they both returned to their breakfast.
It didn't take long for the four friends to be on the other side of the barrier. Before they began their actual work, Mal reminded them of the task at hand. "We need to attract as little attention as possible. We're here just to observe a sample of children who might be suitable for studying in Auradon. If they recognize us, it's fine, we can be polite, but we can't stay here longer than necessary."
"What about Uma's territory?" Carlos asked anxiously. They were never 100% at ease when they were on the Isle, too many enemies, and especially because it was their second time there without finding their parents. It wasn't something they wanted to do; no one was ready for that yet.
"While we're apart, we'll stay away from the pirates' territory. We'll do our assessment there together," the girl said. "The same goes for any place near our homes, unless you're willing to find your parents."
"Definitely not," Jay said, while Evie nodded. It was too soon.
"Alright, let's get to work then. We'll meet back here in 30 minutes," Carlos concluded, and the four young people separated to observe, talk to the children on the Isle, and learn what they thought about living in Auradon and having a new life.
It was a fierce battle. Half of them couldn't care less about the "land of princes and princesses," but the other half dreamed of the opportunity to be whatever they wanted with the endless possibilities of Auradon. Evie spent the 30 minutes doing just that, and to her relief, most of the children and teenagers she spoke to were excited about the program.
However, the return to the meeting point was not as quick as Evie had expected. She walked calmly and purposefully back to the designated spot when she heard muffled crying as she passed by Enoja's Shop. The daughter of the Evil Queen abruptly stopped to give it her attention. It wasn't uncommon to hear cries on the Isle of the Lost, but this one seemed much more fragile and desperate than usual.
She looked around a few times, searching for a child huddled in a corner but found nothing. That's when she noticed something moving inside a dumpster in front of the shop. Evie's heart squeezed as she walked closer, and the crying became more audible. She looked down, and the scene immediately brought tears to the princess's eyes.
Wrapped in tattered cloth was a baby, inside a trash bag, discarded in the dumpster as if it meant nothing. Evie knew it wasn't an accident. The child was tied and wrapped enough to conceal the living being within the garbage. It was intentional.
"Oh no..." the blue-haired girl whispered, a mix of anger and sadness flooding her heart as she reached out to pick up the baby.
"Evie!" she heard a familiar voice call out, but she didn't bother to look back. Her eyes remained fixed on the baby, who cried louder than ever. "We were all at the designated spot, and you didn't come back. We got worried," Jay said, not yet seeing the child Evie was trying to untie from the trash. "Evie, what are you doing..." He trailed off as he caught sight of the same sight as the girl. Jay furrowed his brow.
"Jay, help me. There's something tied around her neck," Evie's voice was choked up, and the young man quickly approached, carefully tearing apart the dangerously tied cloth from around the baby's neck. He fell silent, stunned, as she removed the trash bag from the small being squirming in desperation. "I just found her. It's a little girl."
"Was she just thrown there?!" Jafar's son questioned indignantly. He saw Evie nod without saying a word as a solitary tear slid down her cheek. She cradled the baby in her arms and sighed, her heart breaking as Evie tried to soothe her.
"What do we do?" Evie whispered, her voice barely audible, as Jay approached and ran his hand through her blue hair. She couldn't bear to leave the little, fragile baby there after what she had witnessed, and Jay felt the same way.
"We'll take her with us," he said gently. Evie nodded without hesitation, and the two of them returned to the meeting point of their four friends. Carlos was the first to notice the bundle squirming in the arms of the daughter of the Evil Queen. Jay's nervous expression didn't go unnoticed by the platinum-haired boy.
"Who is this?" he asked, and only then did Mal notice their friends.
"We're taking her with us," Jay said. "We found her in the dumpster in front of Enoja's Shop."
"Oh my God," Mal exclaimed. "Wasn't there anyone around?" She approached to get a better look and tried to read her best friend's expression, but Evie never took her eyes off the baby. It was Jay who guided her through the streets.
"No, she was wrapped up enough to not survive until tomorrow," Jay replied angrily, and Mal and Carlos exchanged glances, shaken. Nothing more was said. The four of them returned to the car they came in. Evie managed to calm the crying child on the way. She seemed more tired than hungry. And that's when Evie looked up to meet Mal's gaze.
"Can we get a pediatrician to visit her at home?" she said, her voice sounding more fragile than Mal had ever witnessed.
"Of course, E," Mal smiled, tucking a strand of blue curls behind her friend's ear, offering some comfort. "I'll let Ben know and ask him to bring the best."
"Thank you," Evie smiled.
(...)
"Have you drunk the water I brought you?" Jay asked, taking Evie's hands as she stared at the baby lying on her bed, being examined by an excellent pediatrician and two nurses. "I'm talking to you..."
"I had a little bit," Evie finally answered, looking into the eyes of the dark-haired boy. "I'm not very thirsty." Her voice still carried anxiety, and Evie's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts.
"Hey, look at me," Jay called her attention once again. "She's fine, we're safe now. You can relax." He pulled her into a hug, and Evie wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's waist, taking a deep breath and releasing all the adrenaline that was rushing through her body, calming down a little more.
"I know," Evie affirmed. "Thank you." She smiled, expressing gratitude not only for his recent words but for Jay's calmness and support when she was on the verge of losing it. He responded with a kiss on her forehead and took Evie's glass, heading to the kitchen.
"Well, Miss Grimhilde," the pediatrician began. "We're dealing with a mild case of malnutrition. The little one has a slight fever due to that. Therefore, for the next few days, we'll continue feeding her with breast milk, along with some regulated vitamins. You can retrieve the milk from our Auradon bank, and I believe your proximity to King Ben will help with the process. We've already brought the milk for today; you just need to pick it up tomorrow." The doctor explained while Evie nodded, paying attention to every detail.
"Can we determine her age?" the blue-haired girl asked.
"With the examinations we've conducted, we estimate that she's only about three weeks old, which makes her survival a miracle," the doctor surprised Evie with her response. "And that also means that the next few days will be a bit challenging. Will you be her temporary caregiver?"
"I believe so."
"Alright, since I already have your contact information, I'll provide you with further necessary care instructions for the baby over time," the pediatrician continued, writing her prescriptions on paper. "I'll also be available if you have any doubts."
"Okay, thank you very much," Evie smiled, bidding farewell to the medical team.
Once Evie was alone with the baby, she sat beside her, getting close to the little one. Now that all the adrenaline had subsided, Evie felt a mix of fear and excitement about the idea of temporarily caring for the baby.
She would never understand how such an angelic being could be discarded in the trash.
She began tracing the small features of the sleeping little being with her fingers. The sparse brown hair she had, her rosy cheeks, her tiny, pointed nose, and her rounded chin. Evie smiled, her heart filling with a warmth she had never felt before. She gently ran her fingers over the chubby little hands of the baby, plump even for a malnourished baby. And as she touched the baby's tiny feet, the baby squirmed as if tickled.
Evie's giggle caused the little one to slowly open her eyes, wriggling. "Oh, sorry for waking you, little miss," she whispered. Evie carefully picked up the baby and cradled her, placing her head against her chest, smiling as she heard the contented sigh from the little girl.
Jay slowly opened the door to the room, only to find Evie singing a lullaby while gently rocking the baby back to sleep. He smiled, quietly closing the door, giving them more privacy.
#descendants fandom#disney descendants#descendants imagine#descendants headcanons#descendants au#descendants#descendants 2#descendants fanfiction#descendants 3#booboo stewart#cameron boyce#sofia carson#dove cameron#jay son of jafar#evie grimhilde#mal bertha#carlos de vil#evie x jay#jay x evie#jayvie#jay descendants#evie descendants#core four#auradon#the isle of the lost#descendants oc
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saiibo ponies real, inescapable even
one of my much much older aus but these doodles are much newer!! mlp is another media special and close to my heart, like sonic, it’s one of the reasons I really picked up art!!!! so ofc gotta mix my favs with it!!
i do have fully colored and planned out designs of these two, but the refs are quite old and outdated (style wise LMFAOO) I’ll need to make fresh new ones sometime soon ehehe
but for a little info, shuichis a unicorn! a more traditional unicorn at that! he’s not royalty or anything but he does come from a long line of strictly unicorn family due to the area he lived in, so he’s got more traditional unicorn traits, like the tail and curved horn!! though he hides his horn under a cap for a long time after moving to a big city with his uncle due to insecurities.. now he lives on his own after having finished school there, but he does still help out his uncle at work!!!
and kiibo is a robot pegasus!! made by the one and only professor idabashi, who is a dragon!!! i would say hes “world renowned” but he’s really just a hermit who keeps to himself, he doesn’t even live around other dragons, nor acts like one.. but his crafts sure are jaw dropping!! kiibo himself is run by a special sort of magic stone, unknown to even the alicorns, that idabashi had discovered on a night out looking for materials. he is a metal sculptor, mending metal plates with the fire in his breath, making toys, trinkets, and art! But he put a pause to that temporarily as he ran tests with said stone and realized its capabilities, and after many many many trials and errors, he created kiibo!!!! idabashi kept kiibo by his side for a long time, teaching him the ins and outs of equestria, it’s history, and language but eventually he felt kiibo would do so much better being around and learning from other ponies instead of being isolated, so! eventually idabashi found a nice warehouse in a city to continue his craft and set up shop, as well as enrolling kiibo into school!! kiibo is also graduated now, but still lives with idabashi, and helps in his shop sometimes!!!
obviously kiibo and shuichi had met through school, as they both coincidentally ended up in the same city, but they didn’t really properly get the chance to interact until afterwards, and!!! yeah!!! there’s some lore!!
this au used to just be the drv3 killing game but ponies but I really wanted to make it more like my sonic au where they kind of… fit into mlp canon if that makes sense? lol
#danganronpa v3#danganronpa#drv3#k1 b0#keebo#kiibo#saiibo#shuichi saihara#danganronpa kiibo#danganronpa shuichi#kiibo x shuichi#shuichi x kiibo#danganronpa au#danganronpa ships#danganronpa v3 killing harmony
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Love Letter To Miami || Jung Hoseok
pairing: fashion designer!hobi x latin f!reader || exes to lovers au
Genre: fluff, angst, suggestive, slow burn,
W.C: 18k
Warnings: slow burn, angst, lots of Miami references, maybe actually a little too much ( I am not sorry I miss home lol) alcohol, language, mentions of pregnancy, arguing.
Thank you so much to @astronaut-jin-moon for beta reading this. It means a lot!
Synopsis: Hoseok unexpectedly uprooted his life in Miami for a chance to chase his life long dream. But he sacrificed the only thing that kept him rooted...you.
Now, he’s back home after six years.
AO3
a/n: Hello, I am back after 672389238 years. If you guys didn’t know I moved to the other side of the world on my own for work. I was supposed to finish this and upload it back in March. But settling down was harder than I expected and other factors came into play around April. So, this story is very near and dear to my hear.
Please let me know your thoughts. I am also thinking about writing a second part. But again I am a full on adult now so it’s a bit harder to write as much as I used to. Still, I have no many ideas please let me know and thank you for taking the time to read this.
Enjoy!
Miami International Airport is Jung Hoseok’s least favorite place in the world.
It has nothing to do with the humidity seeping through the thick concrete walls, the smell of summer rain all year round. Or the crowds of spring breakers ready to ruin the lovely beaches he rarely frequented when growing up.
No, Miami International Airport is Jung Hoseok’s least favorite place in the world because it means he’s back home.
It’s not that Hoseok hates Miami per se. It’s home to his family and best friends, and how could he hate a place that harbor’s many of his favorite people?
Hoseok’s love-hate relationship with The Magic City has nothing to do with his upbringing, but everything to do with feeling out of place everywhere he went. It’s not like he didn’t fit in. Growing up he was loved by everyone, everywhere. His sunshine attitude and bright smile always managed to make everyone’s day a little bit brighter.
At school he wasn’t the odd one out, nor was he bullied for being different because everyone around him was. His classmates came from different backgrounds and different parts of the world. Some–like Hoseok–came from immigrant families, immigrant parents, or were even first-generation immigrants themselves. They flaunted, celebrated their cultures whenever they could, and spoke their native tongue with pride, not fear.
But yet, it wasn’t perfect. Miami, for many people including Jung Hoseok, was a safety bubble, despite the minor prejudices one would face when regarding the older generations. Still, it was safe and that’s why he needed to leave. At some point in his life, the comfort became almost suffocating. He knew the names of each street like the back of his hand. Even the ones he had yet to discover. Everywhere he went, every party he attended there was at least one person that knew of him.
Hell, even the workers at the Regal Kendall Cinema–the setting for his first kiss at fourteen–knew who the fuck he was.
It always started the same way:
“You’re Hoseok, right? Your cousin told my cousin’s friend, who told my friend’s friend, who told me that you’re studying fashion design right?”
It didn’t make sense to him, because Miami wasn’t the smallest place in the world. (See population of 454,279) Yet, somehow everyone just seemed to know each other?
Hoseok didn’t mind it at first. It’s what he was used to growing up. The local Publix workers loved to pinch his chubby cheeks and coo at him as if he were a doll. (He earned a few free cookies that way). He loved basking in the attention. But after the last New Year’s Eve he spent at home, the excitement he would always feel when counting down from ten and eating all twelve grapes the second the clock struck twelve. Seized to exist.
He couldn’t fake one of his dashing smiles any longer. He couldn’t ignore the growing doubt and regret in the pit of his stomach any longer. He felt stuck. Everything around him was slowing down. He was slowing down. Working at Trendy Studio didn’t fill him up with the same amount of joy it first did when he got the job. When his portfolio and designs were accepted with great admiration and care. That’s when he realized that he had finally finished outgrowing Miami.
So, that night after everyone had gone home and to bed. He stayed up, hovered over his desk, nursing a headache due to all four glasses of champagne he had snuck and practically chugged after his realization. He submitted his work resume anywhere he could find available. The only criteria was that it had to be far away from his safety net; Miami.
Here’s the thing. He was entirely surprised that he hadn’t had this realization sooner. As a child whenever Hoseok dreamed and envisioned his future, Miami, Florida was never a part of it. It was such a clear vision to him. Everything he did, every straight-A, every AP class, every college acceptance letter, every goal and award he received in life was meant to get him out. That is until he met you and his crystal clear vision of his future was replaced by you.
Well, let’s backtrack, it wasn’t exactly the moment he first laid eyes on you. Hoseok had known you far longer than he had loved you. You went to the same elementary, middle, and high school as him. Sometimes you even shared a class with him. To make matters worse, you went to the same ballet studio as his older sister–Jiwoo–did. And for years, until you turned fifteen and spontaneously quit; his mother–bless her heart–would give you a ride to the studio while your parents were too busy running the quaint gift store they named after you. Their pride and joy–next to your little brother of course–and the reason they made the life-altering move from Colombia to Miami when you were just two years old.
Hoseok grew up with you. He always thought of you as Jiwoo’s annoying best friend. He went to every single one of your ballet recitals. (He has no idea how he was able to sit through the Nutcracker every year.) He went to every single one of your dance competitions after you joined the school’s dance team with his sister. He saw you at your absolute worst; the hideous bob cut, the acne, the first time you got your period the summer before seventh grade, and the depressing year after you turned fifteen. He saw it all but never thought about it twice.
So, it surely came to him as a surprise when you kissed him in your backyard the day before the start of a new chapter; college.
After Jiwoo moved out years prior, the two of you surprisingly got closer. You found solace in him and in turn, he found it in you. Talks about hopes and dreams happened way more often than they should’ve, especially when filling out applications together. The two of you planned to move out and far away, but luck was never on either of your sides. Or maybe it was faith’s twisted way of bringing the two of you together, but neither of your families had the sufficient funds to be able to send you elsewhere. The money earned during part-time jobs, or the scholarships weren’t enough. So, at the last minute, the two of you applied for an in-state university. One that was fifteen minutes away from both of your homes, and got in. Staying together with not just each other but with your family and childhood friends.
Inseparable; until death do us apart…or something like that.
The romance didn’t bloom right away. For days you didn’t speak to him. Not even when he was doing you the favor of driving you to school. It wasn’t until weeks later when Namjoon called you out on your odd behavior around his best friend. You budged and confessed your lifelong crush on your best friend’s little brother.
To say that Hoseok’s ego wasn’t inflated would be an understatement. He felt like a King ready to rule a kingdom. It sparked something inside of him that for the better part of his life remained dormant until the night that you kissed him. It only got worse upon hearing your confession, prompting him to do the one thing he could think of, and he asked you out.
Hoseok had only gone on a number of first dates before you, but he made sure to pull out all the stops. The bouquet of roses much to your dismay was the first one. Then came the dinner at The Cheesecake Factory at Dolphin Mall, topping it off with the movie at the cinema just an escalator ride away. He even did the whole fake yawn, arm over the shoulders thing, and paid for the whole night.
No wonder he couldn’t afford college.
You didn’t make the effort to kiss him that night, leaving him utterly speechless and disappointed. For a second he thought he had fucked everything up. After going home he laid awake in bed, thinking of where he had gone wrong. Then his phone vibrated next to him with a text from you thanking him for the entire night. It erased all thoughts of failure and disappointment that he had. His heart swelled in his chest as he read the text over and over and over. Memorizing it to the point of reciting it word for word. Soon he was imagining a whole future with you, settling and forgetting his plans of leaving and never coming back.
It’s crazy how life works because he left. Six years ago to be exact and now he’s back. Not by choice but by obligation as best man to Park Jimin. As much as he wanted to decline the offer, he couldn’t do that to one of his best friends. Especially when it was Park Jimin–Mr. Casanova, Number One Heartbreaker of the 21st Century, Mr. I’m Never Settling Down, I’m Going to Be A Sugar Daddy When Grow Up–Park Jimin. He was finally tying the knot. And of course, it had to be to your cousin–Nathalie–of all people. It doesn’t stop there because to overcomplicate things further, you just had to be the maid of honor.
Jung Hoseok knew the decision he made in accepting the internship with Vogue Australia would have its pros and cons. One of the cons, the biggest one in his opinion, was that he had to move to the other side of the world. He had to make the choice in staying in his comfort bubble with his family, with his friends, with you. Or leave the only life he had ever known behind and start over in a foreign place like his parents did. It wasn’t easy, mainly because the issue lied in telling you.
So he chose not to. Not his best move, he admits, but he didn’t know what else to do. He spent weeks practicing whatever he wanted to say to you in the mirror. Yet, whenever he tried he just couldn’t. You were going through a hard time, and he didn’t want to add to all the troubles you were facing. Though he’s not sure how you finding out through your mother, who was told by his mother in a conversation entirely made up of Korean, Spanish, and broken English would’ve helped. He’s also not sure how refusing to answer your questions when you came running into the airport while he was in the line to check-in would’ve helped either. He also supposes that breaking off a five-year relationship entirely, after walking away and never looking back didn’t help either.
But he did that, and he had six years to repent for his sins. Probably more if Jimin hadn’t decided to switch it up on everyone and get married. He wasn’t ready. Six years away. Six years he spent watching his parent’s age through his phone screen. Six years in which he missed the birth of his first two nieces. Six years in which he secretly texted your mother every once in a while to see how you were; wasn’t enough to prepare him.
The twenty-hour flight wasn’t enough.
Your anger was one of his biggest fears because it was silent until you couldn’t hold it anymore and would explode. You had six years of anger, silently brewing inside of you. All directed towards him just like he deserved, and he wasn’t ready for any of it. Not the last-minute fittings, the bachelor party, the rehearsal dinner, the wedding. Not the gawking from strangers that somehow knew him. The familiar streets he spent years driving down, or the spring breakers getting ready to destroy his beaches. Not his parents, his friends, or you.
Perhaps, he lied before. Miami International Airport is Jung Hoseok’s least favorite place in the world because it means he’s closer to you and the future with you that he selfishly left behind.
Spring Break is the worst time of the year.
Not only are the normally overly crowded areas, more crowded than usual. But your hometown is filled with outsiders coming to destroy the most precious part of the city.
The beaches. Or more specially Miami Beach.
Now, it’s not like you actually liked going to the beach per say. There were a lot of factors to consider. For example the heat, the humidity, and the white sand sticking onto your body like second skin due to the copious amounts of sunblock you’d lather yourself in. But most importantly it was the parking cost at Ocean Drive.
In your humble opinion $8 dollars was too much.
But watching the news during Spring Break broke your heart more than usual. College students let loose littering the streets and beaches. Taking advantage of their week of freedom to get drunk as hell and start destroying property left and right. The beach wasn’t your second home like most Miamians but it still held a special place in your heart.
Why Jimin and Nathalie wanted to get married during the most horrifying event of the year—next to Halloween of course—was beyond you. They’re both spontaneous and a little insane so it was poetically on brand for them. Still, you really wish they would’ve waited at least a week.
“This is going to be a disaster.” You mumble to yourself, slumping back on Jimin and Nathalie’s couch.
They invited you over to discuss wedding plans over pizza and ice cream, which ceased to exist. They had been all loved up in the light pink love seat of their living room, leaving you to witness it like a fly on the wall in pure and utter disgust.
Sometimes you think they do this on purpose. Invite you over with a promise of something only to rub it in that they’re completely head over heels for each other. It’s as if they were telling you to go out and find someone. But it’s not your fault that you’ve tried and all the men you’ve met are complete asshole’s, who don’t understand that in order to be friends with benefits. You have to do the friend part first.
“No, don't tell her yet.” Nathalie says doing a terrible job at keeping her voice low enough for you to hear. Though, you weren’t paying attention to anything they were saying earlier. You are now. And you have a terrible suspicion that they were talking about you.
“Tell me what?” You lift your head up enough to see them. Frozen in their embrace exchanging wide eyed looks and silently yelling at each other.
Jimin groans in annoyance, throwing his head back hitting the back side of the love seat. “I told you, you were being too loud.” He all but whines, throwing an arm over his eyes dramatically.
“I thought she was sleeping.” She retaliates by hitting his chest lightly, making him flinch.
You sit up crossing your arms. “She is still here. What aren’t you going to tell me yet?”
Nathalie clicks her tongue and stands up. “It’s not that important. Only that Hoseok just arrived in Miami and his parents are picking him up.” She shrugs her shoulders in nonchalance, strutting her way to the kitchen.
Oh.
“And he’s coming over later for pizza and ice cream and wedding stuff.” Jimin chuckles awkwardly at the end.
Oh.
With the way he has his eyes completely trained behind you. You know him and Nathalie are having a silent discussion. But that didn’t matter because your ex boyfriend. The person you once loved with all of your heart and you now loathe was coming and they didn’t want to tell you?
“I see.” You fall back on the couch again. Your silence is loud and it’s a little bit frightening at how well you took the news, they seemed to think. It’s indicated with the sighs of relief they both let out simultaneously. What they don’t know is that inside you’re completely falling apart.
It’s the weight of the situation, and you need to come up with an excuse fast in case he shows up in the next five minutes and you’re still here.
“Oh looks like I have to go. I forgot to feed my cat.”
You don’t have a cat and they know that so that excuse is off the table.
“Oh god. I totally forgot that I needed to clean my apartment.”
No, that one wouldn’t work. They know you strictly clean your apartment on Sundays to start the week anew. And it’s Friday night. Fuck!
In the end though, you pick the worst excuse out of the book. “No, it’s Friday. I forgot mom wanted me home for dinner since Danny is visiting from college.” You stand up, furrowing your brows so they know you’re serious. But you know them as well as you know your brother. And they know that he won’t be in town for another five days, which is why he can’t attend the wedding. But you won’t let them see you falter.
Your escape was now or never.
“Babes.” Nathalie sighs, dropping her hands to the side. Her face is morphed into pity and you hate that it is, because you know she’s only looking at you like that because Hoseok was mentioned. “You don’t have to leave, Jimin can tell him to come over tomorrow.”
You scoff brushing her off whilst grabbing your things from the coffee table. “Nah, it’s fine. I have things to do anyway. Joon is having a new artist come in and record soon. So I want to get the paperwork done as fast as possible.” Huh, maybe you should’ve used work as the excuse. It would’ve been more believable. They know you absolutely love your job at RKIVE RECORDS and they know that Namjoon—your boss—tends to overwork you sometimes. They would’ve bought it in an instant. Plus they don’t need to know that you’ve finished the paperwork before coming over.
“But we still have to discuss the bachelorette party.” She pouts, clasping her hands in front of her begging like a child.
You offer a smile, grabbing your purse. “Drinks tomorrow at my place and we can discuss it then.” You walk towards her, tapping her nose lightly before looking back at Jimin who’s looking at you with equal amounts of pity.
God, when will this nightmare end.
You face Nathalie again, putting one hand over your mouth like you’re about to share your deepest darkest secret with her and use your thumb to point behind you.“We don’t want him to listen to how wild the night is going to be.” You joke, making his ears perk up.
“Hey, I said no stri—“
“Goodbye Jimin, I love you.” You say, stuffing your feet inside your shoes at their entrance. Opening the door before they continue their protests.
Needless to say, you're relieved that Hoseok is not standing on the other side when you do. You have a lot that you want to say to him. Six years worth of things that you’ve been wanting to say to him. But you wouldn’t know where to start. And yes, ignoring him would be impossible, but at least you’d have one more day to get all your thoughts in check.
This wedding was going to be a disaster.
Hoseok doesn’t know what he was expecting when he came over to Jimin’s place but it certainly wasn’t the cold shoulder and menacing glares from your cousin.
The discomfort settled deep within him as soon as he sat on the couch, sipping on the vanilla latte he had bought when exiting the airport. His parents had picked him up, tears filled their eyes as they reunited with tight hugs. Despite the jet lag he was currently experiencing and his mother’s protests to please go home with them so she can cook him the best home cooked meal in the world.
Hoseok still ended up at Jimin’s place, which now he wishes he hadn’t, but he had to attend to best man duties. Something about Jimin wanting to check his best man speech for the rehearsal dinner, just in case.
The trust his best friend had in him was miniscule. Hoseok had reassured the now blonde that he didn’t add anything embarrassing or widely inappropriate to the speech. It was mainly because he wasn’t done with it. But even if he was done, the idea of letting the entire world know that Jimin once had a threesome in a public jacuzzi back in college had not crossed his mind.
Maybe once.
“How’s Australia treating you?”
Hoseok jumps at the sound of Jimin’s voice. He’d been so focused in his thoughts and Nathalie’s glares that he had practically forgotten about the groom in the room.
He clears his throat, “It’s wonderful, I never want to leave.” He responds, setting down his empty cup on a coaster on the coffee table.
Nathalie scoffs before standing up in what seems to be like a protest, making Hoseok’s eyebrows come together at the center of his forehead. His mother’s home cooked meal sounds way better now than before.
Jimin sighs, watching his fiance make her way to the dining room before turning to face Hoseok. “Don’t mind her, she's stressed about the wedding.” He says, offering him an almost forced smile.
Hoseok sighs before leaning into the couch further, his nose jumping at the slightly familiar perfume it picks up. A scent he’s all but avoided for years, but still lives permanently implanted in his brain. It smells like you. Well you mixed with a hint of another cologne. A much manlier one than he’s ever worn, but he doesn’t let his mind dwell on that for too. It’s the only thing that lets him know that you could have possibly been here in the same spot he was in earlier. It helps him understand Nathalie’s coldness towards him.
He can’t stop himself from asking. “Jimin, I’ve been away for six years. I’m not stupid. She was here right? He leans his elbows against his thighs, peering at Jimin sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table.
The blonde sighs before throwing his head back in frustration. Sometimes he wishes his life was easier and drama free. Then again this was better than the new season of The Bachelor. “Naty and her were supposed to discuss bachelorette ideas since they’re both finally free. But she left as soon as she heard you were coming.” He confesses with a long deep sigh and Hoseok can’t help but feel awful.
Obviously he’s not forgotten what he did to you. It’s something that lives permanently rent free in his mind. He was a coward then and a coward now.
“You should’ve told me I would’ve come by another day.”
Jimin smirks only a little. Enough to know that he had been plotting something all along. “Kinda wanted to see the two of you in the same room before the rehearsal dinner. I love the two of you very much but you were the biggest douchebag for what you did to her and she’s obviously still angry. So maybe if you guys met beforehand you would just hash it out here and the rest of the week would run smoothly.” He shrugs in nonchalance that it almost fires Hoseok up.
Of course, he’s not going to admit that out of all the ideas Jimin has had in his life. This one seemed pretty reasonable. The only problem is, that it would've blindsided the two of you if you hadn’t found out that he was coming. And he’s sure that Jimin would’ve had to find a new best man to replace him if his plan had played out exactly the way he wanted it to.
“You’re fucking insane Jimin. Do you want to see me dead?” He says shrugging, leaning back into the couch again. His head swarming with thoughts of you, your smile and your laugh, and he’s come to realize that a part of him is a little disappointed that you weren’t here ready to murder him.
“I mean you deserve it.” Jimin chuckles before shutting his laptop and leaning his arms on top of it. “Your speech is fucking awful by the way.”
Hoseok springs up, arms up in the air in confusion. “Hey! I’ve worked on that thing for three weeks and made the revisions you asked for.” He counteracts. His frustration causes Jimin to finally break into a fit of laughter, making Hoseok pout.
“That’s the problem.” He says after calming down. “It’s too formal now. There’s no personality.”
Hoseok crosses his arms in front of him in protest. “I’m not rewriting it.”
“I didn’t ask you to rewrite it. I’m just saying maybe add something to make it more Hobi. Right now it reads like it was written by the fucking Duke of England or something.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” He sighs in defeat.
“I’m telling you he’s not as attractive as he used to be.” Nathalie yells over the sound of your blow dryer. She’s sitting behind you on your bed, scrolling through her many pinterest boards. This one is named Appropriate Bachelorette Party Ideas.
Sadly, strippers dressed as firefighters were officially out of the question. But the penis shaped cake was not. Nor were the little penis straws and balloons. This all being your mom, her mom and Jimin’s mom’s idea. You swore their minds permanently lived in the gutter.
You shut off your blow dryer, placing it on the ground in front of you. “You don’t have to lie to me. Mom follows him on Instagram and she sends me pictures sometimes.” You grin at her through your full length mirror. “I’ve always known he was going to age like fine wine.” You joke, earning an eye roll from your cousin.
“He’s not even thirty. That saying doesn’t apply to him yet.” She shakes her head, turning her attention to her laptop again. “My statement still stands, he's not that good looking anymore.” She mumbles more to herself as she scrolls, making you laugh lightly.
You stand up, your hair half blown out and the other wet and curling. “You don’t have to lie to yourself just cause you’re being loyal to me.” You sit next to her on your bed. “You and I both know that he’s the best looking one out of our friend group.” You say bumping your shoulder against hers.
She looks up in alert, almost as if offended. “I think you’ve mistaken him for Jimin.” She scoffs, eyes full of hearts. This had been an ongoing joke between the two of you for years. Even before Hoseok left and she and Jimin got together. Back then her infatuation with Jimin was nothing but a school girl crush. So imagine your surprise when she told you months after they slept together that they were secretly seeing each other.
It had kept you up all night. Mainly because oddly it made you miss Hoseok. A feeling you had pushed away since the moment he turned around at the airport leaving you in tears. A feeling that returned last night as you met up with Yoongi for the third time in the span of a week. Nothing he did could get you out of your head so after many failed attempts of trying his hardest to give you the big O. The two of you just sat in your bed and talked.
Friends with benefits with more friends than benefits is the best way you could describe your relationship with the well renowned producer. He was a great listener and gave great advice and last night he had told you to just give Hoseok a piece of your mind. Even gave you some pointers. Some that you would take and some that you would totally avoid.
Like having hate sex.
You don’t hate Hoseok. You resent him. Plus wasn’t having sex with an ex something you should one hundred precent avoid?
“Whatever, I’m tired of boy talk Naty. Can we finally start planning before the mom’s take over and give us penis shaped everything.” You practically whine leaning your head against her shoulder, only to have her shove you off.
“Only if you agree to wear the lavender strappy dress.”
“But I can’t breathe in that dress. It’s so fucking tight.” You cross your arms in front of you pouting. She stays unfazed, scrolling through her pinterest board, your eyes pick up on makeshift photo booths. All with different themes.
“Idiot, it’s only for the pictures. Then we can change into our sweats and eat all the sweets.”
“I can’t believe you’re convinced that the moms won’t take us out to the club that day. It’s like you don’t know them at all.”
Nathalie rolls her eyes before putting her laptop to the side and turning to face you, putting both hands on your cheeks and squishing them. “Oh I know what they’re going to do. I overheard my mom and your mom on a three way call with Jimin’s mom the other day while I was over. They have it all planned out. But I’m limiting them to one club, so please wear the dress.”
You sigh, shoving her hands away standing up. “It’s like I didn’t grow up with you. I know one club means like five in your head.” You say walking to your full length mirror and sitting down on the floor again. “Fine, but that means I’m cutting you off after three drinks. I don’t want you hungover at the rehearsal dinner.”
“With how things are going with you. I think it will be the other way around.”
Hoseok doesn’t miss clubbing and he doesn’t miss clubbing in Miami. Most importantly he doesn’t miss clubbing in Miami during spring break.
It’s awful here. E11EVEN has never looked more crowded. There’s barely space to walk, or breathe. The humidity doesn’t help either.
It’s been two days since he’s arrived in Miami. And his days have been filled with fixing his sleep schedule. Helping his mom around the house and staring at the blank document that’s supposed to contain his best man speech.
He can’t write anything. All his best ideas have been turned down by the groom himself. He has no fucking idea how to make something more Hobi. He just is Hobi. Truly, he wishes he never came back home. His days have been filled with nothing but disappointment and memories he’d rather forget. Just last night he went for a walk around the block and ran into your mother walking your family dog, who coddled him to no end. Acting like he didn’t betray her only daughter.
Acting like he was still part of the family.
She talked his ear off for almost an hour and nothing Hoseok did to get away worked. It also didn’t help that your family and his were neighbors. So escaping home wasn’t an excuse because then they’d just end up walking the same way.
It was good to see her though. She still looked the same with some new wrinkles here and there, but still the same.
Now, he’s at a club with Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung, all celebrating the groom’s bachelor death. Something none of them saw coming. Needless to say he’s overwhelmed. His sleep schedule still needs a good fix and the music is blaring against his eardrums, so he can’t think properly. Though, it’s probably due to the fact that he’s a little over four drinks in and well on his fifth one.
It’s too early to tell if he’ll regret this later on, but a part of him is sensing it already.
“We have to go.” Jungkook yells over the music as he leans over the table with his forearms. The rest of the men sitting in a booth babysitting their drinks with absolutely no energy to go out onto the dance floor unlike the youngest who's been breaking a sweat every time his favorite song comes on.
His words catch their attention and Jimin sits up straighter than before. “Why?” He yells, cupping his hands over his mouth like that’s going to help him with volume. It doesn’t, but somehow the younger male picks up on his confusion.
“The girls are here. I just saw Tae’s wife trying to twerk.” He says turning to face the brunette. “Sorry dude, she kinda sucks at it.” He adds apologetically, earning an eye roll from the man in question.
“Don’t look at her then.” He retorts, crossing his arms in front of him, turning to face the crowd in an obvious search for his wife of three years.
Jimin though springs up fast, standing on his toes with a huge smile on his face. “I knew they were going to come here. This is the club Nathalie and I hooked up in, in the bathroom.” He says like it’s the best love story in the world and not the most unhygienic one. Though, Hoseok can’t judge. Once post break up he had sex with some random girl in a dirty bathroom club. Worst experience of his life. One he will never ever ever bring up again.
“Dude, the whole point of a Bachelor party is to not meet your future wife at hers.” Jungkook yells in annoyance, taking his bottom lip in between his teeth, playing with his lip ring.
“Who fucking cares.” This time it’s Taehyung who speaks, standing up and checking his reflection in the black vinyl wrapped column behind him. No doubt ready to go hit on his wife. It’s entirely obvious that Jimin has the same idea because the second he spots his fiancé wearing a pink beaded necklace with a bunch of tiny penises dangling around it. He’s running out onto the dance floor with Taehyung trailing closely behind.
Jungkook plops down next to Hoseok sighing in defeat. “We’ve lost them, they’re fucking whipped man.” He shakes his head, placing his elbows in front of him on the table.
“Yeah.” Hoseok answers halfheartedly. He doesn’t mean to give Jungkook such a half assed answer but he’s finally spotted you. Finally saw you in person for the first time in six years, laughing at the way Nathalie and Taehyung’s wife jumped when their significant others snuck up on them. Both of them earned well deserved hard slaps against their chest.
You’re wearing the most beautiful dress. Lavender and strappy and it hugs your body just right. He notices that you look a bit more skinnier than before and it makes his heart sink a little because grabbing onto you was his favorite thing in the world. Still you look so good. So damn good that he’s starting to regret ever leaving for Australia in the first place and finally starting to enjoy the fact that he’s back home.
That is until your eyes meet his. And they’re only met with one thing.
Pure solicited rage.
Hoseok gulps and quickly downs his drink. Already mapping out a route so he can get his sixth one.
Jungkook whistles next to him, slapping an arm around his shoulder making Hoseok jump. “I saw that, you’re fucked dude.” He laughs nervously, patting his shoulder gently. The action lacks all the comfort in the world. But it’s a nice gesture? He thinks.
“Trust me I know.”
You’ve managed to avoid Hoseok for a good thirty minutes. After meeting his eyes for a brief second you did everything in your power to disappear, pushing your way to the bar.
That is until a gin and tonic appears in front of you.
“Yoongs, I didn't order this.” You look up. The smirk you’ve come to know well over countless nights of meaningless pleasure, greets you. The cute bartender was the reason why you convinced Nathalie to come here tonight. He was in your bed last night and always gave you and the girls free drinks because of your very transactional relationship with him.
Yoongi shrugs, placing the white rag over his shoulders and leaning against the bar with his elbows. “I know but he did.” He nods his head towards the left, making you shift your gaze in that direction. Only to regret it when your eyes find Hoseok’s behind his yellow tinted shades.
He looks different, a different kind of different. A different that screams expensive. Dripping with confidence. “Don’t leave me here alone, Yoongi.” You rush out. He catches onto the panic laced behind your voice and that only makes him smile wider.
He leans into you, lips hovering over your ears. “Can’t believe you’ve replaced me already. Was last night really that bad?” He jokes, before pushing himself away from the counter and the drink towards you, walking away.
He’s cynical.
You groan, threading your fingers through your hair in frustration. “Don’t do that you’re going to mess up your hair.” You jump, Hoseok now standing next to you leaning against the bar, looking everywhere but you.
“Doesn’t matter, nights’ already ruined anyway.” You sigh, grabbing a hold of your drink and taking a sip. You’d be an idiot to decline a free drink.
“Ouch, that hurt.”
You ignore him, making him fall silent. The music pounding around the two of you, acting as a buffer for the awkwardness floating around the two of you. All the things you’ve been wanting to say to him since that night disappear with your confidence. Drowned out by the two gin and tonics you drank earlier.
And just like always, Hoseok breaks the silence.
At least one thing is still the same.
“You look nice.” He says, leaning in slightly for you to hear him. His glass of whisky sits untouched in between his hands.
“Thanks.” You answer, placing your drink down and finally turning to face him.
Mistake number one.
He looks better up close and unfamiliar which makes your stomach drop a little. Once upon a time you always believed that no matter what. Hoseok would always be someone familiar to you. Now, you’re being proved wrong and because you never admit defeat. You’re blaming it on the alcohol, his simple black t-shirt, light washed jeans and the orange tinted glasses, sitting on the bridge of his nose.
“You too.”
This is awkward. More awkward than what the two of you expected, because a part of Hoseok and you still assumed that everything would be the same. Regardless of what happened. It was a conversation the two of you would often have. Full of what if’s, and false fantasies. That ended up becoming reality.
“How have you been?” This time it's you who breaks the silence, catching Hoseok off guard. That much is obvious since his eyes grow wide. You’ve never been one to initiate a conversation. At least not during the first few months of your relationship. The minute you started getting comfortable with him. Nothing in the world could shut you up and your tangents about everything and anything.
He takes a sip from his drink. And it burns down his throat. Obvious that it wasn’t very diluted. “I’ve been good.” He shrugs, mentally slapping himself because that is what he could come up with? A generic ass answer when he has endless stories about the last six years, that he’s always been wanting to tell you.
“And you?” He clears his throat, setting his glass down and running his index finger over the rim.
You nod, biting down on your straw in contemplation. Small talk was never your forte but it is your fault for starting it up.
You should have run away the second Yoongi placed the drink in front of you. You would’ve dealt with the embarrassment later. It would’ve been better than your current situation.
“I’ve been good too.” You answer, nodding, folding your hands on top of the bar, shifting your eyes from his, to his nose and then the wall of expensive liquor behind the bar.
“That’s good, I’m happy you’re doing well.” He all but whispers and it's amazing how you’re still able to hear him over the loud thumping of the bass. “Do you come here a lot?” Another stupid question. He might as well just publish a whole book series on them, because apparently he’s filled with a lot. Can you blame him? Yes, you can because he didn’t have to come to you. He could’ve stayed with Jungkook and listened to him complain about how he isn't pulling enough girls like usual. Or he could’ve found you.
So, he chose to do the latter. And now he’s regretting it. Only a little bit though. You look so pretty in your lilac dress, your cheekbones, arms and cleavage sparkling with the kind of glitter usually used for music festivals. Letting him know that your kid-like spirit is still alive. Something he feared you would lose on the night he left you broken and pleading on the airport floor.
His guilty conscience will never let himself forget it.
“I don’t.” You finally answer, pushing your drink away. In a different circumstance you would’ve finished it. Now, finishing it would be a mistake because once it was empty he would order you another one. Not necessarily trying to get you drunk. He knew your limit better than yourself, but more out of chivalry.
“Oh, then how do you know the bar guy?”
You should’ve known this question was going to come. Yoongi always made sure everyone knew you and him were somehow intertwined. Whether it was subtly or in the most obvious way possible.
“Work.” You say, like it's the most obvious thing, but then when you spot the confusion written all over Hoseok’s face. You realize that what you just said didn’t make sense at all, so you clear your throat to clarify. “Yoongi is a producer at RKIVE, he only bartends on the weekends for his brother.”
“Ah, that makes sense as to why the two of you are so close.”
“We aren’t that close.” You say, waving him off. It’s a lie, he’ll be able to know that it’s a lie with one look. Which is why you avoid his eyes all together.
“Please he’s basically eating me alive right now with one look.” He scoffs, taking another sip of his whisky. He usually only drinks one but maybe today’s the day he makes some changes. “And he smells like you.” He adds, hardening his face to keep himself from pouting.
“Okay, so maybe we hook up sometimes.” You say, raising your voice a little bit. “Why does that matter to you?”
Hoseok grips his glass with one hand, while pushing his glasses up with his other one. “You’re right it doesn’t matter to me.” He says before standing up from the barstool. Rethinking his choices and reasonings from before. He definitely regrets coming up to you. He was already suspicious about your relationship with the bartender, when he saw him lean into you a little too close for his own comfort. Hearing the confirmation come from your mouth makes him feel even worse. Then again, this is all his fault and his price to pay.
He should’ve just stayed with Jungkook.
The neon lights and cigarette smoke are distorting his reality. Hoseok thinks.
Are your arms really wrapped around his neck, reeling him in? Or is this a figment of his imagination? Is your body so close to his that he can smell the scent of your perfume?
Daisy by Marc Jacobs
It’s still the same and it's driving him insane. Apart from the heat of your body dancing so close to him. His hands are on your waist. Like they belong there, because they once did.
He’s not sure if you're conscious about what you’re doing. If your smile is a fake one or not. If you’re letting the lights, the music, the smoke, the alcohol that you consumed–provided by your kind friend Yoongi–is also distorting your reality. If that’s the case. He should be the bigger person and push you away. You get touchy and needy when drunk, making a part of you want him right now. He knows that when the sun is up and you’re a bit more sober, you won’t want him anymore.
Still, it feels good to be wanted by you again. None of the others that came after you could compare to what you would make him feel back then. What he is currently feeling right now.
On top of the world, wearing rose colored glasses to hide away from his reality.
“Let’s get out of here.” You lean closer to his ear, yelling over the music. A weird remix of Usher’s DJ’s Got Us Falling In Love Again.
How fitting.
He should say no. You don’t want this, he knows this. But his heart is yelling louder than the pounding of the bass against his eardrums. So, he caves into his desires, knowing very well he will suffer during the morning after.
“Okay,” He agrees, pulling you closer, letting your head fall against his shoulder.
Karma is going to come for him just like he deserves.
When Hoseok left, he left everything he could ever want behind. His parents, his sister, his cousins, his dog, his friends and his future with you. That’s why he closed himself off. For the longest time he lived on auto pilot.
Gym, work, home. Hit the clubs every Friday to Sunday and sleep with someone new almost every weekend. There were no feelings involved. He never allowed himself that luxury because they were all left behind when he boarded the plane. He never treated his weekend conquests like they were pieces of gum on the bottom of his shoes. A luxury weekend away in one of those fancy five star hotels. Penthouse suite and all. They dined like kings and queens, took advantage of the room service, mini fridge and luxury spa. He made sure they felt special for at least a little while. And plus there was an unspoken rule. Everyone involved knew that nothing more would come out of the weekend.
So maybe he’s just confused. Or maybe he forgot how to be with someone that he genuinely likes, because you're straddling his lap, with your lips attached to his neck. And he genuinely is frozen with his hands by his side, and his heart in his throat. He only knows that he is still alive because he can smell the alcohol from your breath.
“Why are you acting so weird?” You pull away, flipping your hair to the side and resting your palms on top of his chest. You’re aware that sleeping with your ex is a hard no in the rule book. Especially one that absolutely destroyed you. But tonight you don’t care. Yoongi was an asshole earlier and Hoseok looks so good. Your moral compass might be five steps out the door. But after tonight.
After the wedding.
Hoseok will go back to Australia and you will go back to lying to yourself. Sleeping with Yoongi because you’re trying so hard to avoid the heartbreak Hoseok caused you, instead of confronting it like you should.
“I’m not, it’s just–” He stops, bringing his eyes up to your face. He’s searching, he has that look on his face. The one you know so well because whenever he didn’t know what to say he would just look at you, eyes running between yours and past them, searching for the right thing to say.
“Haven’t slept with anyone in the past ten years?” You quirk an eyebrow.
It finally clicks , his face morphs into disbelief before gently pushing you off his lap, leaving you stunned, confused and a little bit heartbroken. Maybe he didn’t want you after all. The reality check kicked in, hitting you harder than it should have as he rolled his eyes while standing up. It should’ve been your signal to just shut your mouth, but you are stubborn. A fact you and Hoseok know very well.
“Hit a nerve didn’t I?” You sit up on the once perfectly made bed, tugging your knees in and wrapping your arms around them, avoiding his gaze. Maybe you didn’t want to see the evident anger in them or maybe you didn’t want to know the truth. That he actually found solace in someone else that wasn’t you. So you braced yourself for the hit in your gut.
It never comes. Instead he lets out a sigh, the bed dips next to you, making you look up at him again. His angry eyes morphing into understanding as he props himself up against the headboard. “I was nervous about seeing you again.” He whispers, looking down at the white duvet. The tiny stitches serve as his focal point. “I didn’t know what to expect, I didn’t know if I should say hi or ignore you. I didn’t know if I should go up to you and ask you how you were. Or if I should apologize for what I did even if it was six years too late. But I saw you tonight and I completely forgot myself.” He confesses, shaking his head lightly, letting out an almost soundless chuckle.
“W-”
Hoseok holds his hand up, stopping you from continuing whatever you were going to say. Something he never dared to do when you were together. He always let you speak your mind and get your word in before he said something himself. He valued your opinion and never let you run away from your emotions. But that was six years ago, this is now. And the now Hoseok was completely different in every sense of the word..
“Leaving you behind was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. It wasn’t leaving my mom, dad, Jiwoo or the guys, it was you. I tried telling you many times, but I just couldn’t, because we were talking about getting married and the names for our kids and the nice little house by our parents houses. And it was suffocating. I couldn’t stay here but I couldn’t take you with me either. Your life was already here, that dream that you had of going somewhere else was gone because of me, and the comfort we found in each other. So, I couldn’t tell you and I couldn’t leave you and the only solution I saw was to just disappear.” He finishes, finally looking up at you. He knew what he was going to find and the anger was burning brightly. Even though you were older, you were still the same firecracker he grew up and fell in love with.
You scoff, “You’re unbelievable.” You stand up, fixing your dress, shaking your head. “You’re so fucking unbelievable it makes me want to scream.” You walk up to the window, a humorless laugh escaping your now smudged blood red lips. “I was fucking miserable after you left, and I can’t believe that you’ve actually convinced yourself that you did the right thing by not telling me. Do you think I wouldn’t have let you go? Do you think I would’ve begged you to not leave me like some hopeless little girl? Because you’re so wrong.” You turn around, arms crossed in front of your chest, pulling in tighter for comfort. “I didn’t want to have this conversation now or maybe ever. I don’t want to say something I don’t mean because of all the anger I have towards you that’s just been inside of me for the past six years. But let's have it because you have no idea how much I truly do hate you.”
The bite shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did, he thought he was over you. He thought he was healed enough to hear you say the one word he hoped he’d never have to hear come out of your mouth. Yet, there it was, lingering in the air like poison.
“You didn’t do me any favor by not telling me. Instead, you destroyed me. I spent so long searching for answers by myself because you wouldn’t answer any of my texts, calls or emails. All I wanted was some sort of explanation so I could stop the hate that I have for you from growing even further. And I couldn’t, instead I just let it grow.” You wrap your arms around yourself tighter, swallowing hard to keep your voice from trembling due to all the different emotions growing inside of you. “And it took me so long to just accept the fact that you never really loved me as much as I loved you.”
“That’s not true, I–”
You hold up your hand just like he had done to you. You let him have the floor but now it was your turn, “No you didn’t because if you did you wouldn’t have left the way you did. You wouldn’t have pretended like I didn’t exist when I was simply just asking for an explanation that day. You wouldn’t have ignored me because it felt better to not confront your mistake.”
“I couldn’t stay, I was fucking dying knowing I was going to die in a place I never considered home.” He said, breaking his composure, finally letting the screw of the bottle break loose.
“And do you think I ever considered this place my home?” You throw your hands up in the air. “I didn’t go to New York for school because of you, I turned down the scholarship to my dream school because of you but I had somehow convinced myself that because I had you I would always be home even if it meant being stuck in the suburbs of Miami for the rest of my life. It brought me comfort that maybe one day together we could decide to leave everything behind and just go. But we didn’t ever get the chance to explore that topic because you already had a plan for your future and it never involved me.”
“You don’t know how wrong you are.” Hoseok bites back standing up. The bed keeps the two of you apart. He wasn’t oceans away anymore, but somehow he felt even farther from you now that he was in the same room as you. It was stupid to expect that everything was going to be fine. “Even now, after ten years you’re still the only one I see myself growing old with. I fucked up, I was young, but I’ve had many sleepless nights beating myself up about it. I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not telling you, I’m sorry for thinking that maybe your life would be so much better without me. I’m sorry for not feeling guilty after I realized how much happier I was in Australia, but even then I still wish I had you with me. And I will always want you with me.” He breathes out, rounding the corner of the bed, finally standing in front of you.
“I will never stop being sorry, and I know you won’t forgive me for as long as you live. I knew that if I told you I wouldn’t have been able to go, because it would’ve only taken you to tell me to go, to not go. You would have supported me through and through, but it just felt easier to just leave and disappear. I loved you so much, more than everything I have ever loved in my life. But I knew our reality. I knew that phone calls wouldn’t have been enough. I knew that slowly we would drift apart and I couldn’t go through that. I couldn’t stomach the fact that we would’ve become perfect strangers over time, that we would’ve slowly dissolved into nothing. I didn’t want you to be fine and then start hurting over time. I didn’t want to fight and not be there physically to make it right.” He stops in front of you, hands by his side, eyes dropping low in a gentle form of sadness.
“But we could’ve talked, we could’ve figured something out. For a while after you left I just wanted to talk to you and listen to how amazing Australia was. But you pushed me out like I meant nothing, and it fucking hurt Hobi.” You choke out, looking away. You always hated crying in front of him, because he would try everything in his power to make you feel okay.
Right now you don't want to feel okay.
“I know and I will never stop apologizing for it, but don’t you think it would’ve been harder if we just became strangers over time while still being in each other’s lives?”
You shake your head. “I just don’t think it would’ve happened, we always had faith in each other when we were together. Why was this any different? I know we would’ve somehow made it work.” You suck in a breath, closing your eyes, as the tears slowly fall down. Hoseok’s hand itches to reach out to you and wipe them away, but he doesn’t have the right to anymore. So, he stuffs his hands in his pocket.
“Maybe I just didn’t trust myself. Changes are scary and I was uprooting my entire life for a dream that I wasn’t even sure would come true. I was scared that you’d think less of me if I didn’t achieve it or that you’d get frustrated with me. Or that I would resent you for some reason. I guess it just felt easier for you to hate me.” He sighs.
“I wouldn’t have let you.” You shrug, wiping your tears away. “I would’ve taken the first flight to you if I knew you were having a hard time.
Hoseok lets out a humorless chuckle, angry at himself, “That was the problem. I couldn’t have asked you to do that. I had to start over from scratch but I couldn’t ask you to do the same for me. You were growing and finally doing something that you liked. You were starting to finally enjoy your life outside of me. I couldn’t have asked you to drop the comfort of your inner support system just to be with me, because then you really would have resented me. I know you say now that you wouldn’t have, but it happened to our parents when they moved here. Who's to say it wouldn’t have happened to us?”
You shrug, furrowing your brows into the stubborn look he knew so well. “I don’t know but we would’ve figured it out.”
“We wouldn’t have, it would’ve been something that would have gradually built over time. And I couldn’t lose you in that way.”
You scoff, pushing past him, walking quickly towards the door of his hotel room. You were done, said everything you needed to say. You had no business in staying somewhere you weren’t ever welcomed in. Wordlessly you put on your heels without tying the buckle, and grab the handle of the door. His gaze burns holes into your smooth back.
“At the end of the day you still did.” You say turning the handle before turning to face him again. “It was nice seeing you again Hoseok, I hope Australia was everything you had ever dreamed for.” You open the door as he opens his mouth to say one more thing. He couldn’t let you leave again. At least not in this way.
“I think it’s best if we don’t talk to each other for the rest of the weekend.” You swallow, stopping for a second almost as if you had something else to say but decide against it. “Fitting is tomorrow at 10am, don’t be late or I’ll have to listen to Nathalie have another meltdown.”
That was the last thing you said to him before walking out of his life. It was Earth shattering, everything between the two of you left unresolved and worse. Farther apart than before and it was suffocating. Maybe Miami wasn’t the problem in the first place, maybe it was always him. Either way if this was how you felt when he left you behind. Then truly he was the biggest asshole he had ever had the unfortunate privilege of knowing.
This hurts more than the heaviness of life itself.
Nathalie lets out a deep sigh for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. You had tried to ignore it at first but it was really starting to get on your nerves. Especially because you knew she had something to say and instead of just going out and saying it, she was waiting for you to ask.
Why did everyone always expect you to reach out first?
“If you have something to say just say it.” You mention, looking at yourself in the mirror once again. The sage green, off the shoulder bridesmaid dress wasn’t very flattering on your form. But this wasn’t your wedding, you weren’t there to make a statement in the loveliest gown that made you feel on top of the world. It was once your dream, now you aren't so sure it will ever become a reality.
Nathalie sighs sitting down on the velvet couch with her wedding dress unzipped, gently clinging onto her body. It was tight. The wedding diet she had been on was apparently ruined by Jimin with all the delicious food he had been cooking for dinner recently.
“I saw you leave with Hobi last night, anything happen?”
There it was the million dollar question that everyone and their mothers wanted the answer to.
You sigh, reaching behind you to unzip the dress. It was now suffocating, too tight around your ribcage making it impossibly hard for you to breathe. “Nothing happened, we talked.”
Nathalie cocked an eyebrow, “Only talked?”
You hum, letting out a small sigh of defeat, dropping your arms by your side. “More like fought.” You shrug trying to seem as unbothered as possible. The truth was that after you left you went to see Yoongi. Hoping to let out some steam. But as soon as he saw the state you were in. He brought you inside and let you cry on his couch, while he watched a movie on Disney+.
When you were done, he paused the movie and finally spoke to you, harshly. In a way he had never spoken to you before. A slap in the face but a much needed one. Making you come to your senses. It took everything in you to not call Hoseok again and apologize. But just as you were about to dial his number you realized that you had nothing to apologize for. Everything you had said and felt was valid.
So, you just stayed on his couch, makeup smudged all over your face as you continued watching the movie he was watching. It was where you woke up this morning, joints aching in discomfort, listening to Yoongi’s soft footsteps as he prepared for the day ahead of him. At the sight of you he didn’t say anything, didn’t make fun of your appearance. Instead, he simply gave you a bowl of raisin bran cereal, a meticulous sliced orange and a large cup of coffee. Telling you to drink up and energize since the day you had ahead of you was long.
He was right, it had only been one hour and you already wanted to go home. “Just fighting, not hot and steamy make up–” She pauses for a second and looks around, putting her hand to the side of her mouth “--sex.” She whispers, sending you a mischievous wink.
You roll your eyes before looking at yourself in the mirror again, cringing at how unflattering the color looks on you. “You’re annoying.”
Your cousin lets out a loud laugh before putting her hand over her mouth. “It totally did happen.” She practically squeals. “I knew something must’ve happened, the two of you were practically clinging onto each other when you left and your eyes are so fucking swollen. Must’ve been a wild night.” She rambles, standing up and holding her dress up to her body, jumping in front of you. “You have to tell me everything, was it the same or better than before?”
You close your eyes in frustration, “Naty,” you start, balling your hands at your sides “Nothing fucking happened, we made out for a little bit and then we fought. He practically told me he left to save me from him or some stupid reason like that.” You sigh, looking up at the sky blinking a few times. “He basically hinted that I wasn’t enough of a reason for him to stay and then I left, went to Yoongi’s and now I’m here.”
Her face drops, bottom lip protruding outward. “Well, did you at least sleep with Yoongi?” She cocks her head to the side, making a small smile appear on your face. You know she’s only asking to lighten up the situation.
You shake your head before sitting down on the pink crushed velvet couch of the fitting room. It had only been the two of you for the past hour, the rest of her bridal party had left with your mom’s and Jimin’s mom’s for an early lunch. The two of you stayed replaying that small fantasy the two of you had as children while playing with your mom’s fancy dresses. It had been fun until reality kicked in.
“If you can count sobbing on his couch while he ignored me and watched Thor sleeping with him then yes.” Your smile widens as she falls next to you pulling you into a bone crushing hug, her dress slipping down, revealing her nude strapless bra.
The two of you stay like that, laughing for a while. Recounting the end of your night as best as you could. It was absolutely amazing how much your heart was still broken after six years. Maybe that’s what happens when you truly lose the only love of your life.
“I’m sorry for inviting him.” She whispers after a few minutes of quiet.
You look down at her for a split second before looking up at the mirror in front of you. Maybe the color didn’t look as bad on you as you had once thought. “It’s fine,” you pause before smiling down at her again. “I’ll be fine.”
“Bu–”
“Naty, I survived six years without him. I can make it a lifetime. I'll be fine. I’m okay.” You try to say as reassuringly as possible. Though, you know she’s not entirely convinced she drops the subject before standing up and extending her hands out to you.
“We still have like six hours to kill before the rehearsal dinner. Want to disappear for a while?”
You grab her hands letting her pull you up. “Does it involve ice cream?”
“Is that even a question?” She playfully rolls her eyes and lets go of your hands, before disappearing behind the curtain to the actual changing room leaving you alone in the lobby of the private room.
Maybe disappearing and pretending like nothing was wrong was what you needed now. As much as you wanted to, it would've been impossible to ignore your ex boyfriend for the rest of the weekend. Thankfully you hadn’t needed to see him this morning as Jimin and his groomsmen were in a separate room. Just knowing that he was a door away after everything that had conspired between the two of your hours before. Made you feel uneasy.
You didn’t lie to Nathalie. Hoseok was your past and who knows who your future would be. You had done well surviving without him all these years. A weekend wasn’t going to break you.
“If you want to say something you should just say.” Hoseok says to Jimin who was sitting on the steps of the private fitting room in front of him. Hoseok ignores him, fixing the lapels of his black formal tux. The dainty little sage green pocket square was a bit unsettling to his eyes. Not that he didn’t like the color, it was fairly nice. But he also knew you had been the one to suggest it. Afterall it was one of the color options you wanted for your own wedding.
Jimin’s eyes go wide, almost like he’s been caught. “I have nothing to say, what makes you think I have something to say? I’m perfectly at peace sitting here admiring your handsome features. Has anyone told you that you are handsome? I bet your mom did a lot when you were younger, it must've been nice to grow up with lovely parents. You know I only had my mom after my dad die–”
“Jimin,” Hoseok exclaims, shooting him a glare at his rambling. Jimin did that every time he lied, which is why he didn’t do it often. “I don’t need to hear your life story again. Just say what you want to say before the guys come back.”
Jimin sighs, pushing himself off the floor. “Did something happen last night with you an–”
“No,” he interrupts him before he can finish asking and it throws him off his course again.
“Are you sure? Naty, I and the entire fucking planet saw the two of you leaving last night. Giggling like drunk little teenagers very obviously sneaking away.” He pauses for a second, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger, “you know if you guys did something that's okay. Sometimes in moments of weakness between two exes things happen. That’s completely normal, I just hope that…you know… were safe and it was consensual and like the two of you know it was just a one time thing since you’ll be going back to Australia at the end of the month.” He finishes, nervously stuffing his hands into the pocket of his slacks.
His suit jacket had been off for hours and the first few buttons of his shirt were undone, while the sage green silk tie hung untied around his neck. Hoseok was grateful he didn’t have to wear one, it would’ve made walking down the aisle with you in his arms ten times harder than it already was going to be. The unfortunate privilege of him being the best man and you the maid of honor. Ignoring you was simply just impossible that much had been proved to him last night.
Last night. The first sleepless night he had in a while. He wasn’t sure if Jimin’s statement had irritated him or if he was already irritated from his lack of sleep.
Either way, even if Jimin always means well, Hoseok was beyond annoyed now. “We didn’t sleep together, Jimin.” Hoseok looks away from the mirror and at his best friend. “We were going to but I got in my head about it and then we started talking and then we fought. And honestly I might’ve fucked it up more than it already was in the first place.” He says, pulling off his suit jacket. It was hot. Maybe it had to do with the bright lights shining down on the two of them or maybe it was just him.
Jimin stood silent for a second before opening his mouth again. “What did you say, did you apologize?”
Hoseok lets out a bitter laugh before finally deciding that the suit jacket was perfect and shrugging it off, tossing it on the pink crushed velvet couch. It was so annoyingly pink that it actually hurt his eyes.
“I did, but then I couldn’t stop. I tried explaining myself and why I did what I did but I just ended up making everything worse.” Hoseok claims before sitting down on the steps in front of the wall of mirrors. There were at least three versions of him staring back at him and each single one of them looked worse than the other. Reflecting all his inner turmoil perfectly.
He was a fucking mess.
“Do you know how it feels when you hear the only person you have ever loved tell you they hate you and for very valid reasons?” He looks up at the groom, tired eyes shifting into deep sadness. He didn’t have to pretend in front of Jimin. At least not anymore. Nor did he want to because it was honestly getting exhausting. He had lived his life pretending for the past ten years. Pretending that his life was better when only certain parts of it were. Pretending that he didn’t have a gaping hole inside of his heart.
“Did she say that?” Jimin whispered, taking a seat next to his best man.
“She did but she didn’t need to, I already knew she did, but just hearing her say it made it so much more real.” Hoseok sighs and looks up at the ceiling, blinking away the spots of light in his vision and the tears that had started to form.
When he left to australia he had only let himself cry for a full month. He refused to cry after that month no matter how hard life was progressively getting. After last night all he wanted to do was cry and scream and disappear again.
Jimin puts his arm around his shoulders patting him softly. “If it makes you feel better Nathalie and I once broke up and she said those exact words to me. They’re awful, but we made it work and look at us now.” He whispers.
Hoseok shakes his head, looking down at his palms. “We aren’t like you and Nat. We were never meant to be together forever. It was stupid to ever dream that we could ever be each other’s forevers. Once she decides on something, she doesn’t go back. Which is why I know she will hate me for the rest of her life and I guess it’s just something I have to live with. I thought I was helping out by leaving, because I was afraid that I would lose her overtime. But in the end I ended up doing just that and this time there’s no chance of reconciliation, because that is something she doesn’t want.” He finishes, letting the sought out tears fall onto his open palms.
He’ll cry just for now, just for this moment and then he’ll pick himself up again. Just like he had been doing all this time.
Jimin pulls him into a hug. “I don’t believe that’s true. I’m sure that one day the two of you will sit down together and really talk it out. No bad blood between the two of you. I’m sure she doesn’t actually hate you. If she did she wouldn't have gone to Australia three years ago to attend the grand opening of your studio.” He spills in a hushed tone, making Hoseok’s eyes grow wide as he quickly turns to face him.
“You’re fucking with me, I would’ve seen her if she was there.” Hoseok scoffs, pushing Jimin’s arm away before standing up. “This was a mistake Jimin, a friend wouldn’t lie to me to make me feel better and you’re doing just that. I can’t fucking believe you.”
Jimin chuckles before standing up. “You know I’m not good at lying. Naty and I never asked her about it. It was like an unspoken secret the three of us had with each other. But apparently Namjoon was invited and she went as his plus one. When she came back she was so happy and glowing, it was something we hadn’t seen in such a long time. That we decided not to pry any further.” Jimin walks closer to him before putting both his hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look at him. “She was so proud of you. I think it helped her seeing how happy you were. And things just felt lighter after she came back. Naty and I didn’t have to walk on eggshells around her anymore.” Jimin continues, smiling brightly and Hoseok isn’t so sure if he’s just gotten really good at lying in the past six years. Or if he was actually telling the truth.
Either way this new piece of information is so overwhelming that he feels like he’s about to collapse.
“Why wouldn’t she tell me, if she was there why wouldn’t she come up to me and tell me?”
Jimin furrows his eyebrows and opens his mouth but it's quickly interrupted by another voice, making Hoseok look behind him. Namjoon stands by the doorway, a take away bag of coffee in one hand with a brown paper bag of what he assumes is pastries, par to Jimin’s request in the other.
“She knew that if you saw her, you would’ve dropped everything and had gone home with her. And she couldn’t do that to you. She saw how happy you were and didn’t want to ruin your big night by making her presence known. We only stayed until after your speech and then we got on the next flight to Miami.” Namjoon says, stepping further into the room.
Hoseok is at a loss for words. The only thing he wants to do; no, the only thing he needs to do is see you again. He needs an explanation because there was no way that the things coming out Jimin and Namjoon’s mouth are real.
They just couldn’t be. He would’ve known. How didn't he know? Your presence was so big no matter how small you made yourself out to be at times. You always shined like the brightest star in the night sky. He would’ve known if you were there. No matter how many lights were flashing in his face that night, he would’ve still been able to pick you out from the crowd. That’s who you always were to him. His one and only focal point. His light in trying times. And now he feels like complete and utter shit for not being able to find you on the day he desperately wanted to be with you the most.
The grand opening of his fashion studio. He wanted you by his side, showing you off like he always imagined he would. And maybe he would’ve been able to do that if he would’ve found you in the sea of people. Or maybe he wouldn’t have needed to look for you at all because the two of you would’ve been together in the first place.
He needs to see you, so shrugs on his suit jacket and runs to the exit, only to be blocked by Jungkook and his giant shoulders. “Move, I need to–”
“They left ten minutes ago. Told Namjoon and I to tell you guys that they would be off the grid until the rehearsal dinner.” Jungkook states, crossing his arms in front of him. “Plus you have a best man speech that I know you haven’t finished so I think it’s best if you just stay with us.”
“Off the grid?” Hoseok exclaims, his disbelief causing the groom to let out a loud laugh, which quickly catches his attention. “You’re not nervous about this, what if they run away to a different country?”
Jimin walks closer to Hoseok, knowingly patting him on the shoulder. “Off the grid,” Jimin says in quotations, “usually means getting vegan ice cream at their favorite shop in Hollywood Florida. They’ll be back before the dinner, and knowing them they’ll be like ten minutes late just to scare everyone.”
Hoseok rolls his eyes. You and your cousin were never good together, but it was something he had learned to live with. Now, he’s forgotten all the shenanigans he had to deal with when his life revolved around you. “But I need to talk to her.”
“Just wait until she comes to you.”
“But what if that never happens.”
“A lot has changed in the last six years, but not much. She’ll come around just like she always does.” Jimin says before patting his shoulder and disappearing behind the changing room curtain, leaving him behind in disbelief.
He stares at himself once more in the mirror, maybe the sage green pocket square wasn’t as ugly as he once thought. Jungkook and Namjoon awkwardly standing behind him exchanging awkward stares. His heart is against his throat, beating out of time. Feeling a little bit more hopeful once again. He had fucked up six years ago and last night but the next time he sees you and gets to talk to you, he will be sure that he doesn’t.
Afterall you were the only person he will ever be able to love for as long as he breathes.
Some say that when it rains on your wedding day it means goodluck, a sign of fertility and a lasting marriage.
Nathalie was not taking it that way.
“It’s ruined.” She crumbles sitting on the floor with her wedding dress surrounding her, making her look like a giant cupcake. Her half finished make-up is now ruined as the tears pour down her cheeks like the weather outside. “The weather channel said it wasn’t going to rain and now there’s a fucking hurricane happening outside.”
Her mom had stopped trying to calm her down and now it was up to you to talk some sense into her. “At least you decided against an outside wedding.” You say, earning a glare from your over dramatic cousin.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re the worst?” She sniffles, a small smile appearing on her face. Ever since you were young you knew that telling her that everything was going to be alright would do the opposite to calm her down. Telling her to stop feeling the way she was and to ignore her feelings because there was always a bright side to everything, wasn’t of any help. More so because she always reached that conclusion herself. So, you always did the opposite, and tried to joke around with her as she slowly came to her senses.
“A few times, most of the time it comes from you.” You smile, leaning your head against her shoulder. Your maid of honor dress was still on the hanger, taunting you.
“Do you think mom is right?” She tilts her head, looking at you curiously with wide eyes and a pout on her lips. “That it’s good luck for it to rain on your wedding day?”
“I don’t know, you know how they are with all their superstitions, but it could be…mom already put an opened scissor outside for it to stop.” You raise an eyebrow, lifting your head. “But I wouldn’t think about it too much unless you don’t want to run your head up the wall, expecting things to go right or wrong.”
She nods looking down at her intertwined hands on her lap. There was something she wasn’t telling you, something she didn’t want to reveal yet. That much you knew from the way her brows furrowed and the tension in the air. Before you could ask she broke the silence, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes and you were terrified for what was about to come out of her mouth.
“I think she might be right.” She whispers and your curiosity grows. “Not about the goodluck thing but maybe the fertility thing.” She finishes, sounding smaller than before. If you didn’t know your cousin the way you do, you would’ve sure laughed in her face for believing such an outdated old wives tale. Especially because you were usually the one who did. Not her.
You raise your hand up to your mouth, in shock, afraid to confirm what she was hinting at with words. “You’re not–,”
“I’m pregnant, I found out last night after the rehearsal dinner, while you were sleeping.” She says her voice fading out into almost nothing at the end. The realization dawns upon you like a blanket. Everything makes sense. Her dress being a bit tighter than before. Her feeling sick at the dinner after taking a bite of the seafood pasta. Her saying that she had the biggest stomach ache before running down to the small convenience store in the hotel lobby. And the waterworks about the rain on her wedding day.
It wasn’t just the rain it was the fact that she found out she was pregnant hours before she walked down the aisle. “Does Jimin know?” You say, making her roll her eyes. Of course, he didn’t know, they hadn’t seen each other since they parted ways the night before. And she had been avoiding her phone all morning long.
“I don’t know how to tell him, what if he totally freaks out and leaves me at the altar. And then what, what am I going to do with a baby on my own? I can barely take care of a fucking succulent.” She breaks, putting her head in her hands in complete despair.
You rub her back gently, “first Jimin loves you more than he loves life so I don’t think he’d do that and if he does do that then I’ll help you out. After I hunt him down and tear him into teeny tiny pieces.” You try, feeling a small bubble of excitement inside of you. The first baby in the family after many years. And although you could tell Nathalie was terrified, her lifelong dream just like yours was to build a family. It was nice that one of you could at least have that.
“Please feed him to the dogs when you do.” She giggles lifting herself up and hugging you tightly. “I’m so scared, like I thought we at least would have a few years alone together before we added another little life, but I guess God has other plans for us.” She buries her face into your neck, hugging you tighter than before. “It’s going to be okay right?”
“Yes and if it isn’t then you can always count on me.” You whisper, bringing her closer. Only pulling away when there's a knock on the door. The two of you share a confused look until you hear the sound of Jimin’s voice through the wood.
“Naty, your mom, says you’re crying. I know I’m not supposed to see you yet but can you at least tell me you’re okay.” He says in a rush of panic.
Nathalie's eyes grow wide as she pulls away and starts silently speaking with her hands frantically, pointing to the door and then you and then the whole room. From what you can understand she’s telling you to go and talk to him, but honestly you were god awful at charades growing up, but given what she just revealed you could only assume that is what she was telling you. You nod as her hands fall down to her side. She scrambles to stand, tripping slightly over the tail of her dress, as she moves to the side of the room that’s less visible from the door.
You walk to the door and open it wide enough to poke your head out. You lock eyes with the groom to be, as he bites his bottom lip with worry. “She’s alright, right? She’s not getting cold feet right?” Jimin blurts out, running a shaking hand through his already made up do.
A smile appears on your face as you carefully walk out through the tiny open space of the door, closing it behind you. “She’s okay Min, the rain has her freaked out a little but she’s okay. I promise.” You watch as Jimin lets out a deep breath. His hands falling down at his side, in relief.
“Can I talk to her please? I won’t look, I promise I just need to tell her something.” He pleads, pulling his infamous puppy dog eyes and you cave.
You nod. “But don’t tell our moms, unless you want our heads on a stake.” You giggle, causing him to roll his eyes at your dramatics. He’s fully convinced that because you and your cousin are so close in age. Your dramatics have rubbed off on her…and him.
“I won’t.” With that you turn around and open the door wide enough to squeeze through, where you meet Nathalie pacing in the background.“He wants to talk to you.”
Nathalie’s eyes widen as she starts to shake her head quickly. “No, no, no I can’t. I can’t talk to him. I can't. It's too soon. What if I tell him about the—” she pauses, taking a look around before leaning forward and whispering, “the baby.”
You make your way to her, putting your hands on top of her shoulders. “Tell him when you’re ready, but I’ve never seen him so fucking nervous. I think the two of you need this.” You say softly, giving her a tight hug before stepping to the side.
She takes a deep breath and walks over to the door, resting her back against it and opening it a little. “Jimin,” she whispers.
You listen to the little nervous chuckle Jimin lets out before speaking. “Baby,” his hand appears through the little gap. Without hesitation, she reaches out and intertwines her fingers with his, visibly relaxing into her lover's warmth.
It’s an intimate moment between the two of them, and you want to look away, but something keeps your eyes glued on them. Maybe it’s the fact that their love brings you some sort of comfort. Or maybe it’s the longing of having someone like that again. When Hoseok left, you promised yourself that you would never let yourself fall. He was supposed to be the final period of your book, instead he left a comma behind. A sentence you will never let yourself continue.
If it’s not him, then it’s no one at all.
“Jimin, I’m so scared.” You hear Nathalie say, causing your head to snap up in an instant.
Jimin’s hand squeezes hers tightly. “Nothing’s going to change my mind about marrying you. I’d marry you over and over until the end of the world.” He whispers, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles over her knuckles.
Nathalie bites her lip, looking up and resting her head against the door. “That’s not why I’m scared, Min.” She blinks her eyes fast, wielding her tears away. “I-I’m pregnant.” She whispers, tightening her hold on his fingers.
You hear the moment Jimin’s breath gets stuck in the back of his throat. The hold on your cousin’s hand falters. And you know he’s fighting the urge to push the door open and finally see his bride's face.
“Naty, fuck.” He chuckles. “I want to kiss you so badly right now. I never want to let you out of my sight. But I know that if I do that our moms will walk down the aisle with our heads on a stake..” He laughs, making the two of you laugh along with him. “I promise you right here right now, before I promise it in front of our friends and family. That I will love you and our little baby for the rest of my life. I will never stop and I will work everyday of my life to keep falling in love with you over and over again. So, I can wake up with you in my arms and to the laugh of our five children.” He sniffles, and you have to blink back tears when you listen to his words. A part of you wishes you weren’t here, but the other half is happy that you stayed and didn’t occupy yourself with some menial task. Listening to him promise almost the impossible, is enough for you to realize that even though you still hold some resentment towards Hoseok. Even though you still hold so much anger towards him.
He’s it, he’s the end. Maybe it’s finally time to forgive him, and if nothing comes out of it again. It’s okay because at least he will still be in your life.
Nathalie throws her head back laughing. “Slow your roll daddy. I’ve barely carried this baby for a month. I will decide how many children we have by the end of this.”
His loud laughter is heard through the door. “Okay, okay it is your body after all. But like, think about it. Promise?”
She shakes her head in disbelief, scoffing. “I will as long as you promise not to tell anyone? I want to keep this between us for a little while longer.”
“I promise.”
Jimin and Nathalie are tangled up in each other's arms. Jimin has subconsciously been making small eye contact with her stomach. A wide smile appears on his face once he remembers their big secret. You’ve been secretly replacing Nathalie’s champagne flutes with sparkling cider flutes.
It’s fun, it makes you feel like a secret spy as childish as it sounds. And something in you has been awakened since witnessing the moment between the newly wedded couple in Nathalie’s hotel room. And the way the two of them broke down while sharing their vows at the altar.
You’ve been avoiding the alcohol all night, as well as Hoseok, but every now and then you catch a glimpse of his longing stare from your peripheral vision. You want to talk to him, but it’s too soon. At least that’s what you keep telling yourself because you’re scared.
Jimin stands up, doing the whole tapping the knife against the glass flute to grab everyone’s attention. His famous smile lights up the room instantly as he sets down the knife and glass down. “I’ve literally always wanted to do that.” He says, causing the entire reception hall to break out into light hearted chuckles. He clears his throat, “I want to thank you all so much for coming out tonight, honestly this is the best day of my life, so thank you for being a part of this new beginning for Naty and I.” He winks down at your cousin, before looking back at the crowd. “But now, it’s time for the speeches.” He says while looking between you and Hoseok, your nerves are getting set on fire. “I’d say flip a coin to see who goes first, but Hoseok said he wanted to go first before he forgets everything he’s practiced in front of the mirror.” The crowd laughs again, and you catch a glimpse of Hoseok rolling his eyes from Jimin’s side before he stands up fixing his suit and walking towards the stage.
Just like the first night you saw him again at the club. He looks expensive. You wonder what his first reaction to seeing you again was. Does he think you’ve let yourself go? Does he think you look better than before? Or does he not care? You aren’t sure and before you can dwell on it any longer Hoseok clears his throat into the mic, grabbing your full undivided attention.
“Hello…is that what people say before the start of best man speeches?” He tilts his head to the side, earning a few chuckles from the crowd. “Anyway, when Jimin asked me to be his best man I thought one of two things. One is that I was incredibly honored to have been considered, even though I honestly felt like I was his last pick. So, if any of you in the crowd were asked to be his best man first, don’t tell me or I’d actually be super offended.” He says pointedly, shooting a glare, earning more laughs. “And two, I was actually surprised that he trusts me so much, like you guys don’t understand how much dirt I have on this guy. I have years of sneaking out in the middle of the night together while we were teenagers and wild college parties permanently tattooed in my mind.” He sends a knowing wink to Jimin, causing the groom to send a deathly glare back, making the entire room erupt in laughter.
Hoseok rolls his eyes and clears his throat into the mic again. “But maybe I’ll write a book about the shit we used to do when we were young one day. For now, I just want to say to you in front of all our friends and family that I’m proud of you. I know I’ve been away for a long time but the man I am seeing now is not the same man I left behind. I think I’ve witnessed every important moment in your life. From the day you kissed Chloe Ramos during recess when we were ten, to the night you laid your eyes on Nathalie for the first time. You had called me after a few years of not speaking to one another, except for the occasional ‘I’m alive,’ texts and the memes that remind us of one another. But that night… you said that you met the most beautiful girl in the world, and that your heart literally felt like it was breaking and repairing itself at the same time, like you could breathe again with ease for the first time in years. I thought you were crazy especially when you told me her name. I literally had to remind you that you’ve met her many times before. But you said this time it was different. I think that was the night your heart started to beat for someone else that wasn’t you.” He swallows and looks down at the ground grinning, slightly shaking his head.
This entire time you’ve been holding onto every single word that escapes his mouth. Clinging onto each syllable as you feel your heart speed up and slow down at the same time. Your palms are starting to feel damp and you almost wish that you had had that one tequila shot Jungkook had offered you hours ago. You wouldn’t be feeling anything and everything all at the same time, overwhelming you as you see the love of your life open himself up to a room that once held so much pride and resentment towards him.
“I think I knew at that moment when you cried asking me for advice. I think I knew that this day would come. And maybe I have been writing this speech since that night without me realizing it because even though I rewrote it many times as per your request idiot, it is still the easiest thing I’ve ever had to write in my life.” He pauses, taking a deep breath before settling his eyes on you, making your entire being freeze. “I know this because that night I told you to not make the same mistake I did. Naty and you are perfect for one another. You bring out the best and worst out of each other, but also help each other grow. I had that once4, and I let it go. So, now that I’m here I’ll tell you the same thing I told you that night.” You feel yourself slowly spiraling into nothing, crashing down onto the ground as the tears start to flood the corner of your eyes. “Don’t let each other go. Support each other to the end, even if it hurts sometimes. Be each other’s start and end and if one day you find each other at a crossroads in which you don’t know if you can or can’t continue any longer. Talk to each other with the truth, because I didn’t and I’ve been paying for it since.” He stops, nodding his head in your direction and you feel it first before you can acknowledge it.
Your heart stops and restarts for the one and only Jung Hoseok once again, and you’re sure he feels it too because now the tears are running down his cheeks just like yours.
He shakes his head, clearing his throat. “Anyway, enough of that moppy shit. I’m so incredibly happy for the two of you, and I do expect little nieces and nephews some time soon so you can send them to spend summers with me in Australia.” He winks at the newly wedded couple, who are now melting into each other’s sides. Hoseok raises his glass of champagne in the air. “Cheers and congratulations Mr and Mrs. Park. The love you two have for each other is only seen in fairytales and I’m so happy that I can somehow be a part of this one.” He nods, before bringing the flute up to his lips and downing it in one go.
You’re shaking, and you should get a hold of yourself before you have to go up to the stage and say your speech. But all you want to do is run up to him and hug him tight. So, as he’s approaching the last step of the stage stairs you do exactly that.
It feels like jumping into cold water, but this time you aren’t drowning because he’s holding you just like he did before.
Hoseok doesn’t approach you again until the guests start to filter out one by one.
“I’m upset with you.” Is the first thing you tell him when he is standing in front of you again. You smile up at him and take the hand he had extended out to you. There was an upbeat pop song playing through the speakers. Jimin and Nathalie are locked in each other's arms in the middle of the dance floor, slow dancing and ignoring everyone who comes up to them bidding them a farewell. It was almost laughable, and you enjoyed every single eye roll that came from the couple whenever someone interrupted their moment.
“Really?” He cocks his head to the side as he leads you towards the dance floor. “I honestly had no idea.” He says sarcastically as he places a hand on your waist pulling you close, while still holding on to your hand. You set your arm on top of his shoulder.
“Your speech was so fucking good and it’s not fair. I always helped you out with your papers so when did you get so good at writing?” You joke, swaying against the beat of the song. Thankfully most of yours and Jimin’s family have already gone home. Yet your friends stuck around taking advantage of the fully paid bar and the dessert table. You had kissed the luxury of leftovers goodbye when you spotted Jungkook shoving three scones into his mouth while Taehyung and Namjoon laughed at him, and Jimin recorded the entire thing.
It was certainly going to be going into the blackmail folder they all have saved on their phones.
Hoseok laughs, shaking his head, tapping his fingers to the beat against your lower back. “I had a lot of practice for many years.” He nods, moving a bit faster to catch up to the song. “After I left I started journaling whenever I could and I guess the habit just stuck.” He pauses for a second before looking down at you. “Thank you.”
You raise a brow in confusion. “Why?”
Hoseok spins you around so your back is facing his front and he pulls you close, leaning his head down. “You always told me to journal and I never listened until I was too far away. So thank you, it helped me out a lot.” He whispers in your ear, sending shivers up your spine. Before you can fully comprehend the position you are in he spins you back to face him. His cheeks pink with warmth.
You grin, pulling him down closer to you. “I never knew I’d see the day when Jung Hoseok admitted defeat and say that I am always right.”
He rolls his eyes, chuckling. “Now all I said was thank you, I never said that you were necessarily right.”
You give him a little shove, causing him to stumble back a little bit. “You’re so annoying.”
He smiles instead of replying. He pulls you in closer to him and holds onto your waist tightly, letting his head fall into your neck. This time the song has changed and it’s actually a slow one, from the Latin band Camilla, you know that was one hundred percent your dads doing.
“You were right.” Hoseok finally whispers into your neck. His breath grazes your skin, making the slightest of goosebumps rise all over your body. Before you can respond he keeps talking, with his face hidden within your neck. “I should have told you that I was leaving, instead of doing what I did. I don’t know if we could’ve made it work but at least I would’ve still had you in my life. I loved seeing you live your life, but I hated that you were finally living without me.” He takes a deep breath and lifts up his head, resting his forehead against yours. “I thought what I was doing was the right thing, but seeing the way you reacted two nights ago I knew I didn’t. I’m sorry.” He closes his eyes tightly, digging his fingertips into your lower back. He’s afraid that you’re going to run away from him again.
“I was so angry Hoseok, but I also think that if you hadn’t left the way you did I would’ve settled and just stayed in the spot I was at before. So even though it hurt like hell, I am grateful for it because I don’t think we would’ve been able to grow as people if we were still together. We would’ve learned how to resent each other instead of loving each other.” You say, twinkling your fingertips down the side of his face, before resting your palm against his check, smiling when he leans into your warmth.
It’s familiar yet new and it makes his heart race.
“Just don’t leave me like that again. I can only forgive you once.” You whisper, hugging him close, placing the side of your head against his chest.
His chest shakes gently with laughter as he runs his hands up and down your back. “I won’t, I will never be able to live another day if I did what I did then, and it’s taken a lot of therapy and journaling to be able to finally admit my defeat.” He leaves a light kiss on the top of your head before pulling away, putting his forefinger under your chin and lifting it up so that the two of you are finally looking into each other's eyes. “You were right.”
You smile, nodding your head. Like a winter blanket his warmth wraps around you calming your nerves down. Though things aren’t the same as before it just feels good to have him back. “So what now?”
Hoseok smirks at your question, mischief twinkling behind his calming eyes. “Come with me to Australia.” He says and before you can tell him your hard no because you can’t leave everything you built for yourself behind he finishes his proposal. “Namjoon wants to open a branch of RKIVE RECORDS in Australia. And since you’re his favorite employee and co-founder he was going to send you. So, come to Australia with me please?” He sticks out his bottom lip, almost pouting, making you scoff.
You’re about to pull away from him and speak to the menace you have as a boss, but Hoseok holds you close. “You can network with artists from my company and you never know, maybe you’ll like it enough to manage the Australian branch.” His eyes twinkle with hope and if he hasn’t done a good job at convincing you already he adds. “I just want more time to get to know you as the you now…please give me the chance to do so.” He finishes whispering the last part of his sentence and all you can do is hug him as tightly as possible.
He’s sure you have hugged him today more times than you have in the five years the two of you were together. Physical touch was always his main love language and you hated it with everything in your being. You preferred nice and encouraging words rather than physical touch. So, he learned to only initiate it if you did it first. Maybe that’s something that has changed too, still he hopes that he can find out soon.
“You’re fucking unbelievable Jung Hoseok.” You whisper, pulling him tighter.
“Of course I’ll go to Australia with you.”
a/n pt.2: I hope you’ve enjoyed this. If any of you follow Epitaph just know I finished writing the next part and I am just editing plus I am re-reading the entire thing and making some changes.
#btshoneyhive#btsdreamcourt#bts imagines#bts fic#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts hoseok#bts hobi#bts fluff#bts smut#bts angst#bts x reader#jimin x oc#kdiarynet#jung hoseok#hoseok fanfiction#hoseok imagines#hoseok fluff#hoseok smut#hoseok angst#hoseok x reader#bangtail hobi#hobi x reader#hobi imagines#hobi fluff#hobi smut#hobi angst
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I have returned with another essay on worldbuilding.
Part one: Design.
Your world has more animalistic pokemon. Going for a more... Adapted to a real functioning world where physics and biology are mostly in accordance with how it would work here.
My favourite example of this is this post. In it is pictured a Gardevoir. I don't know if the design is still accurate, but said gardevoir is less a funny alien creature and instead an elongated owl.
Another amazing example of this is the Power Scale post. The beastly legendaries and especially Arcy look sick. With "unrealistic" features like Arcy's fence gate being adapted into much more believable features/body parts.
That being said, we get to
Part 1.5: The Point
With most pokemon being animal-ified, there are some where that just isn't realy feasible. Good contenders for this are the magnemite line, a ton of Grass types and otherwise plant pokemon, and a bunch of object pokemon
small list of examples:
Chandelure, klefki, Sudowoodo, oddish, bellsprout, shroomish, grimer, gastly, voltorb, Porygon, Koffing, Cofagrigus, and Ditto. (to be honest, ditto needs its own section)
How would you handle pokemon like that?
I kind of like the idea of naturally occuring mechanical life. You open up a dead Magnezone and there's just a load of gears and electric components in there. (imagine steampunk but with electricity instead of steam)
similarly, How would Gijinka of robotic/ object mons work?
Part 2: Pokespeak
In the anime all Pokemon speak Pokespeak.
With pokemon being more animalistic, How do you handle them communicating?
Same question with the sentient mons situation from the anime. Most if not all pokemon on the protagonist's team (COUGH Pikachu) are of similar intelligence as a human, they have complex logic, can read, experience the entire spectrum of emotion, can perfectly understand language, etc.
How does that work?
That'll be it for now.
Part 1-1.5
Yep, gardevoir design is still accurate. Most of my design process for figuring out how I'm going to interpret pokemon design is deviating from a lot of common things that I see. Continuing with the gardevoir example, it's one of those pokemon that you don't google bc everyone just turns it into a booby waifu. I looked at the face and kinda went, 'Hey, that looks like the facial disk of an owl,' and started there.
For things that aren't easily interpreted, I switch to scribbling around with shapes. The Arceus fence thing was more inspired by the biblically accurate angels thing from the book of Revelations bc i thought that was funny lol. Sometimes I just give up tho and things like sylveon still gets it's weird ribbon things bc it's a Fey and they are not beholden to normal rules.
Other ways I design pokemon is by trying to figure out what niche they would fill and how would they have evolved to fill it bc nature is bonkers like that and doesn't like empty spaces. The universe of Genesis is absolutely riddled with ambient energy, so you get things like sentient almost-rocks and minerals or florauna creatures that make up plant types since everything is essentially swimming in a sort of low-key primordial soup. Sometimes a loose spirit just really thinks that chandelier is cool looking and would make a good home. The Good Soup™ makes it easier for that spirit to move its new body and now you have a new pokemon! All that loose energy gives life to things that on our world, would not work. But hey, such is magic-science.
There are lots of different paths I can take, so I don't really have a set process of how I generally do it. And there are so many theories of how certain pokemon came to be - either through in-game lore talked about in the pokedex/from NPCs or someone with their red string on the wall making a spider's web of what's going on in the world of pokemon - that I can take some of those and just run with it. For example; you brought up ditto. Congratulations! You've discovered Prime's "siblings," since I'm using the theory that ditto were Rocket's failed attempts at cloning mew. Little blobs that use the energy of the world around them to craft bodies several times their mass and size, using moves that they don't normally learn.
Robotic/object gijinka would depend on which pokemon is the base form. There's a whole lot of human in a gijinka which keeps things to a mostly human base (this is how I ignore the egg types in gijinka when it comes to reproducing and y'know, keeping your culture alive), so it would mostly boil down to types. If someone was of the magnemite line, they'd have iron/steel deposits in places where the skin is thin, like how Heph does on his knuckles, a characteristic of a steel type gijinka. They'd also be more prone to generating static electricity. Or a doctor giving a vanilluxe gijinka a check up has to have a different base body temperature to test against since ice types have a body temp that runs a little bit cooler than most others (fire types have the opposite problem. Razor has torched off shirt sleeves before, which is why he's almost always in a tank-top of some sort)
Part 2
How do pokemon communicate with each other? Idk, the same way they do in Tarzan. They just, can. Smth smth, pokemon speaking with their hearts, not words. Pokéspeak isn't suuuper well understood, mostly due to not having enough cases to study, but it does very rarely crop up in people from time to time. N is canon to the Genesis timeline (not sure when just quite yet but anyway) and he can fully understand pokemon. Biggest theory is that it's stored away somewhere in the human DNA, a leftover from when pokemon and humans were once considered the same, ala Sinnohian lore. Kinda like how every now and then irl there's a human baby born with a tail. Tail genes are still in our DNA, but it gets switched off at some point during fetal development.
That being said tho, some pokemon have managed to learn human language, in a way. Unown being the starting point for many languages in the world used to communicate more with people back in the day, but now it's considered a mostly dead/slightly resurrected language like Mayan.
The abra line are particularly clever and good at figuring out human patterns. Champion Red from Kanto taught a lot of his pokemon sign language as part of their training and a few of them can sign back at him. He's rarely seen without his kadabra, Pythagoras, and she's the most fluent out of all his pokemon. It's still broken and incomplete tho, kinda like how an african grey parrot would string words together.
A lot of how pokemon speak to each other is mostly body language tho, which even in humans is calculated to make up a whopping 55% of how we communicate with one another (38% is vocal tone and a measly 7% is the actual words and their dictionary definition/context. So it's no wonder why so many people get into arguments on the interwebs with black text on a white background) Pokemon still pick up on all of this, and with their different way of communication, they can still usually pick out human meanings just fine.
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friday || jjk
Dilemma: Prologue | Part I
➹ title: Friday
➹ pairing: jungkook x female reader
➹ genre: baby angst(sorry) | fluff | humor | eventual smut | fuckbuddies to lovers | slice of life
➹ summary: The one time Jungkook uses his key, he doesn’t need it at all. It’s Friday morning. Why are you home?
➹ rating: 18+
➹ word count: 2k
➹ warnings: strong language | suggestive/sexual references | vomiting | she’s sick y’all(poor thing) & she’s mean | mentions alcohol | awkward silence | jungkook’s pov | bickering | jungkook’s on his last brain cell by the end | pet names
➹ author’s note: Sorry we’re late. I may have dropped a bit of angst in here but not a lot. Have fun with this one lol.
➹ playlist: Best I Ever Had by Drake | Make Me Better by Fabolous ft. Neyo
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During weekdays, Jungkook spends his time working on the top floor of a corporate office building. But on weekends, he’s just a single guy enjoying life.
Swapping out his designer suit for a fresh denim set, he hits the highway every weekend, heading in the direction of your city. An hour’s drive is nothing when a slice of heaven is waiting for him here. You’re his outlet, his escape from the lifestyle he only upholds for the sake of his position in the company.
All of his employees at the office chatter amongst themselves about which one of their coworkers he entertains, but the truth is that none of them has his attention. He’s not interested in anyone other than the woman he’s been seeing off and on since college.
This arrangement started the first year of university, and he’s surprised it’s lasted so long without anyone settling down officially. Somehow you always find your way back to each other no matter how long you’re away. It’s been four years since the last time you reunited, and it doesn’t seem like either of you are going anywhere anytime soon.
He’s comfortable with how it is most of the time. However, there are moments he wished he saw you more often—although he won’t complain. If you’re happy with how it is, then so is he. As long as he gets to see your face and hear your voice at least once a week, he’s good.
Still, he’s gotten greedy. You’ve probably already noticed how his visits have become more frequent, and the duration of his stays longer. That’s why you gave him a key.
He’s never used it, though. Even when he shows up unannounced, he knocks, and you���re always here to greet him. However, this time he’s here on a Friday morning, and he knows you’re at work, so he has no choice but to let himself in.
He figured he would surprise you with some after-work sex since you canceled last week. He’s got a meeting over lunch with a potential client tomorrow; why get a hotel room when he can crash at your place? —A warm bed and a hot meal guaranteed.
He likes spending time with you; the sex is only the cherry on top. Your personality is what keeps him coming back, and your hospitality. You treat him like no one ever has, and he cares for you more than he’s ever cared for anyone—despite him never mentioning it aloud.
A smile forms on his face as he approaches your door, knowing he’ll be greeted with the lingering smell of your perfume when he opens the door.
Jungkook lets himself in for the first time, but the action doesn’t feel strange. This isn’t his place, but he still feels at home here. It’s warm and inviting, kind of like—
“She’s home?” he mutters when he enters and hears noises coming from the bathroom.
After closing the door, he walks into the living room and throws his bag and freshly dry-cleaned suit on the couch. He then steps deeper into your apartment and enters the hallway that leads to the back rooms. The only light illuminating the space comes from a small opening in the backroom door.
He calls your name first, but when he hears you coughing and choking, he pushes it open without thought.
“Are you o…kay?”
His mouth falls open when he sees your trembling figure hunched over your toilet, struggling to keep your hair out of your face. Jungkook rushes over to you and gathers your hair in his hand. He smirks at the fluffy bundle of black strands, biting back his chuckle because of the inappropriate flashback that goes through his mind.
He rubs your back as you try to catch your breath, pausing all of his questions until he knows exactly what’s going on with you.
“Jungkook,” you pant. “I didn’t know you were—”
Before you can finish your sentence, another wave of nausea hits you before you can turn away, and you’re hurling bile all over his sneakers. Jungkook’s eyes widen with shock, but he immediately springs into action.
“Oh, you’re definitely not okay. Come here.”
You try to convince him that you’re fine, but he just swoops you up and places you in the bathtub.
“What are you doing?” you question, and he responds with a scoff.
“Um, I’m saving my $200 shoes.” He quickly slips them off and puts them in the sink. Thankfully, they aren’t as bad as he thought, and the floor caught most of the damage. “Let’s clean up, and I’ll take you to urgent care.”
“No!” you reply in a high-pitched voice.
“No?” he repeats. “Why not?... No offense, but you don’t look so good, love.”
“Fuck you, Jungkook.” You start taking off your clothes but pause when you notice he’s still standing there. “Can you please get out?”
“But I’m cleaning this up.” Jungkook gestures toward the vomit on the floor. “And you’ve got nothing that I haven’t seen a thousand times. Carry on.”
Your long sigh and eye roll make him stop in his tracks. He understands you aren’t feeling well, but he’s just trying to help.
“Do you want my help or not?” he asks.
“No, I want you to get out,” you answer, pulling your knees up to your chest. He can see the frustration radiating from your body as you sit there quietly, waiting for him to leave. “I just don’t want you to see me like this.”
Jungkook nods and grabs his shoes, understanding that this might be embarrassing for you. However, he still has questions and doesn’t want to leave you in this state.
“I’ll go in the kitchen and clean my shoes. Just call if you need me.” With that, he leaves and shuts the door behind him.
The kitchen is his favorite part of your apartment, besides the bedroom. An island sits in the middle, and he enjoys sitting there and watching you cook while he drinks a beer. You’d slide him a cutting board and some veggies whenever you feel like he’s too relaxed, but he doesn’t mind helping you.
It’s intimate moments like those that make him question whether or not there’s more to the relationship than sex. You bond over the smallest shit and even call each other just because. It’s crazy because he usually hates phone calls, but somehow, he can talk to you for hours.
Jungkook grabs the baking soda from the cupboard and walks over to the fridge to get a beer or any alcohol you might have stashed in there.
He opens the door and is surprised to find absolutely nothing inside. That’s odd for you. You always keep it stacked because you don’t eat out much; everything you eat usually comes from your kitchen.
Shrugging, he pushes it to the back of his mind for later. He’ll run to the store and grab you some things once his shoes are clean.
He places his sneakers in the kitchen sink and begins to clean them as the YouTuber instructs. After the smell of puke is no longer present, he pats them dry and grabs them. He walks out on your balcony and leaves them out to dry while he sanitizes the sink.
When he shuts off the water, he can hear your footsteps in the hallway. Jungkook turns around to greet you, but you walk past him and head straight for your living room. He finds you lying under your blanket when he enters.
“You good, babe?” he asks, sitting beside you.
“No,” you murmur, burying yourself under the fabric. “I’m tired of this.”
Your sniffles tug at his heart, but it’s at that moment that he realizes what’s going on.
He clears his throat and pieces his words together, not wanting to make the moment more awkward.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
You lift your head to glare at him.
“Why would I want to talk about that, Jungkook?”
“Sorry,” is all he can say.
Silence follows, and just when he’s about to break it. You beat him to it.
“I can’t suck you off this time, so there’s no sense in hanging around,” you state.
Jungkook turns in his seat with a frown. “What?”
“Did I stutter? I said you aren’t getting any this weekend so leave me alone,” you repeat.
“I wasn’t–Forget it. I’m going to the store. What do you need?”
He gets up and stands in front of you, but you throw the blanket over your face before he can look at you. Jungkook shakes his head. Your stubbornness has nothing to do with what’s going on with you. You’re always like this when you’re upset.
“I’m not going to argue with you because that just doesn’t solve anything. I’m in town until Sunday, so if you need me, I’ll be around. I’ll get you some food and bring it back here. But if there’s something else you need just shoot me a text. I’ll find a hotel for the weekend, so I don’t bother you,” he concludes.
He grabs his things and looks at you briefly, wanting to say something else, but he’s unsure of what to say. Instead, he retrieves his wet shoes from the balcony and slides them on before tying the laces and making his departure.
“Later. I’ll swing back here to bring your stuff, but I won’t wake you if you’re asleep. Just call if you need me, okay?”
You don’t answer him, and eventually, he leaves. It’s not until he’s on the first floor of your building does he get a text from you.
10:15 am Pretty Girl: i’m such a bitch. i’m sorry.
Jungkook laughs as he reads the message, then searches for his car. When he locates it, he throws his bag in the backseat and hangs his suit on the car’s backseat grab handle. He responds to your message once he’s in the driver’s seat.
10:19 am Him: it’s all good. do you want anything in particular from the store?
10:19 am Pretty Girl: yeah, i couldn’t make it to the store last night. i can zelle you the money. just text me the total
10:20 am Him: don’t worry about that. i got you.
As many times he’s crashed at your place and eaten your food, he owes you way more than that. He’ll buy your groceries; he just wants you to focus on feeling better.
10:20 am Him: just send me the list. i’m headed to target now.
You send him a list of snacks, but he still plans to buy you some other things in case you want a real meal. He locks his phone and tosses it on the seat, thinking he’s got this in the bag.
Only when he arrives at the store does he examine the list carefully and what he discovers makes him gulp. His eyes scan his surroundings, observing the people passing by looking at him as if they know he’s in deep shit.
10:28 am Pretty Girl: Cookies n’ Cream Cone ice cream, oranges, celery, any kind of dark chocolate, and something salty like pretzels
10:35 am Pretty Girl: oh, and if you don’t mind, can you get me some of these? i need the organic kind so this brand if they have it.
10:35 am Pretty Girl: img.73
He’s out of his league and he doesn’t know who he’s supposed to ask for help. But he can’t leave you hanging.
10:36 am Pretty Girl: it’s okay if it’s too much. i’ll get them tomorrow. i should be feeling better then
10:49 am Him: no trouble at all, baby. i got you.
#jungkook x reader#bts x reader#jungkook smut#bts fluff#bts fanfics#jungkook fanfics#bangtanbathhouse#jungkook imagines#bts imagines#fic: dilemma#sugakookitty
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So, working on other things slowly, but figured I'd post this for giggles
I'm in a Ranma Fanfic discord and sometimes chats about ideas and even my own plot bunnies lead to quick sketches now and then.
"Ranma Nocturn" Inspired by a Ranma/SMTV plot bunny by MiriOhki. Basically, Ranma getting the protag's powers and what not. X3
Briar is one of the most recent LoL champions (with some issues with her splash art in particular that we won't go into right now, thank you very much). I have a plot bunny involving her and Ranma meeting... honestly, describing it in very basic context feels silly, but still, point is I thought I'd take a quick crack at a slight redesign (trying to give a stronger sense of shape language that seems a bit muddled in the actual character design... though to be fair, I do like her general design, this is partly based on some observations made based on other's comments and the dev/art notes in a Riot article.)
Anyhoo... Doing these reminds me I need to get back to basics again (there are bits that I see that I can't help but feel like I could have done a LOT better, even for a quick sketch)
Still, was fun to work on XD RhapsodicSongbird fren suggested I post these somewhere, so here you go. XD
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