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throneofsapphics · 7 months

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RowAelin in falling in love with the palace healer? 👀 they are trained killers but god they can’t get enough of her? Sometimes even they will make sure that in the next sparing sesh that one or both of them gets hurt so they have an excuse to see her 👀👀👀👀 or even that at one point Aelin sees her helping somone else and gets jealous and straight up looks Rowan in the eye while she stabs herself and he’s like AH while running her to the healer while she smiles HEHEHEHHEH

any reason

Rowaelin x f!Reader

Summary: Aelin will find any reason to visit the palace healer.

Warnings: self-inflicted injuries, blood, not proofread as usual

A/N: I love this, Aelin is SO chaotic, it’s just a lil drabble based on part of the prompt! maybe i’ll write a longer version later, thank you for the request!

Aelin had a wicked look on her face as she raised her knife, flipping it in her palm.

“Aelin,” Rowan groaned. “Please don’t Fireheart.”

She shrugged, stabbing the tip of the knife into her forearm - in a completely non-lethal place, but deep enough it would require healing.

“For fucks sake,” he cursed under his breath as she wiped the blood off on her pants, heading directly for the healers quarters. One specific healer - that she knew was on duty. Then again, they both always knew when she was working. Aelin had even stolen a copy of the healer’s schedules.

He grumbled under his breath but followed after her. He wouldn’t turn down a perfectly good chance to see y/n.

“You’re ridiculous.” Y/n groaned as Aelin walked in with a grin on her face, holding her arm out. She sent the Queen a small smile.

“Careful how you speak of your Queen,” Aelin teased.

“Apologies, your Majesty.” She dropped into an exaggerated curtesy. “I swear, I think you do this on purpose sometimes.” She huffed, but gathered the necessary supplies. First, she carefully washed the wound - ignoring Aelin’s winces, before throwing a particularly strong cleansing tonic over it, and finally using her magic to heal the small but deep cut. She could’ve sworn Aelin let out a moan, and she ducked her head to hide the blush forming on her cheeks.

“How did you get that?” She asked, finally lifting her head to look at her. She spotted Rowan in the corner, leaning back against the doorway. Of course, she wouldn’t complain about seeing them - but sometimes she wondered why they didn’t just heal themselves or each other.

Aelin flicked her eyes towards Rowan, who pinned her with an exasperated look. Maybe it was self-inflicted.

“A secret,” she gave a small smile and y/n didn’t question any further.

“You’re all set,” she told her after examining the space one last time. No scar, either.

“I could kiss you.” Aelin hummed, and y/n shot an alarmed glance to Rowan, who only raised one brow, as if to say I don’t care. She swallowed and ignored it. The queen ran her hand down her forearm, squeezing her hand. “Thank you,” her mouth curved up at one side and y/n got the opinion Aelin knows exactly what her words and touch do to her. “See you next time,” she said cheerily, rising and leaving the room. Rowan gave her a polite nod, and followed her from the room.

#rowaelin x y/n #rowaelin x reader #poly!rowaelin x y/n #poly!rowaelin x reader #poly!rowaelin #rowan whitethorn x y/n #rowan whitethorn x reader #aelin galathynius x y/n #aelin galathynius x reader #throne of glass imagine #throne of glass drabble #crack drabble #throne of glass crack drabble

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dreaming-of-lu · 6 months

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Hello there! Can I get a compilation of Wild being💅 sassy💅to Legend and Legend responding with his own ✨Spicy remarks✨

Y'all can't sit there and tell me that they do not brotherly bully each other cause they do. They are the kings of sass. I did a tad bit of it, not much a compilation, but ya know, at least there's something adhfjasdf Word Count: 283

"Whaddya mean 'he's in jail'?!" Twilight blinked in disbelief as he stared down at what was supposed two people, but instead, it was only one, and that one was Wild. The champion sheepishly smiled under the firm gaze set on him, slowly shrinking in on himself when the ranch-hand's brow furrowed deep.

"We- uhm, didn't expect it to go south, to be honest," Wild scratches the back of his head with a shaky grin. Twilight throws his hands in the air, settling them back on his hips with a heavy sigh and a shake of his head.

"Ordona, give me patience," he muttered lowly.

"It could be…worse?" Wild offered meekly.

"IT SH-," A voice piped up from behind, cutting the older hero off,

"What is with all this yelling?"

"Not now, Legen-," Twilight halts in his words, blinking rapidly before reeling on his heel with a slack jaw. There stood the veteran, looking bored, unhurt, and in the flesh. He blinked in confusion at the confuddled stares that graced him; his brows creased when the shock silence dragged on. Their gaze made him shift on his feet, skin crawling the longer they stared at him, getting antsy even when none said a word.

"What?" He snapped.

"Yo-you're supposed to be in jail!" Wild points.

"Yeah, and you're supposed to be dumpster diving for ham scraps, you six-piece chicken mcnobody." Legend snips.

"Legend!"

------------

"Geeze, you looked like you personally fist-fought a Lynel," Wild eyed the mess that framed the veteran's head. "At least, I didn't roll out the bed looking like one, unlike you," he passed him and continued on his way to the bathroom downstairs in the inn. "Well, damn," Warriors whistled, "that was brutal."

#.bea's writing #linked universe #lu legend #lu wild #lu twilight #linked universe legend #linked universe twilight #linked universe wild #crack drabble #honestly wonder what got legend arrested ajdfadsf #that's up to y'all to decipher #maybe they thought he was stealing some rings due to how fancy they look?#maybe jay walking #who knows!#guards are so silly

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astudyincontrasts · 2 years

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Drabble request:

Not sure why I'm sending this anonymously. You know who this is. Feel free to call me out and tease me mercilessly. Also this was technically your idea, but I demand it (please!) in drabble format.

Sevika loses a bet w/ reader, resulting in Sevika having to don a sexy maid dress while dusting Silco's office (while he's present ofc, because duh!). This may or may not lead to Sevika taking out her anger and embarrassment on reader via sexy times.

Please and thank you! 🖤

I'm dying with joy that I get to do this. Based upon THIS art.

Sevika and reader from @abitohoney 's fic Submit which just updated with Chapter 9 today! (Existing consensual sub/dom relationship, bondage, rough foreplay, spanking)

Sevika x Fem!Reader slightly NSFW

"No."

"Yes!"

"No. Absolutely not. You cheated!" For as long as you'd known her you'd never seen fear touch Sevika's face, never once known those grey eyes of hers to fill with panic like they were in this moment. She was trying to cover it up with her habitual gruffness and rough temper but that façade had slipped and clattered to the floor as those wide pewter eyes flicked from her cards to yours and back again over and over. Willing herself to be having some kind of stroke or delusion.

"Cheated how? I'm naked. You've won every hand. Just not this one." This wasn't exactly the outcome you'd envisioned when you'd suggested the pair of you play strip cards after she'd begrudgingly taught you her favorite game. This was even better.

Sevika stood and for a second you felt sure she was going to kick the chair she'd sat in at the wall. Her panicked rage had you grinning all those perfect, white, Piltover dentistry teeth up at her as you leaned back on the bed, unabashed in all your naked glory, knowing it was just one more twist of the screw. She'd been a single hand of cards away from winning some truly wicked favors from you. And lady luck had instead finally deigned to kiss your cheek instead.

"I am not. I am not doing this." She fumed, staring at you. Delicious, delectable to watch pleading seeping under the bravado of trying to boss her way out of her loss. Like if she couldn't intimidate you out of collecting your due then she might actually be willing to beg. Now that was an interesting notion. Her on her knees for once instead of you. Hm. Nah. You wanted to see this happen. Time to cut your lovely brute down to size a little.

Besides, a touch of humility never hurt anyone. You should know, she'd sure given you a healthy dose or twenty of your own.

"Renegging on a bet?? You know... I heard that's real frowned upon in The Last Drop. I remember the last guy who did that... oh man. What happened to him again? Oh yeah. Lost the use of his left nut. Tch. And now no one will let him in so much as a wager on the weather let alone play cards with him. Given your lack of uh... nuts... and the fact this was a private game I'm sure that the regulars won't try anything drastic. Plus you could take em all anyhow. But. Oh man... Think of the stain on your reputation? Sevika lost fair and square and then she refused to pay up - "

"Enough." Silco's second snapped, throwing up both hands in exasperation. As irritated as ever with your stream of consciousness overflowing its banks. "For the love of Janna, just. Stop talking. I'll do it."

The smile you offered her was sweet as a slice of peach pie as you rocked knees open and closed in a slow butterfly. Just to tease. Then slid to the edge of the bed and began pulling articles of your clothing back on.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Sevika’s boots came to a stop in your line of vision on the floor, the toe of one settling over your discarded pants.

“Getting dressed, duh. You lost sweetheart. Everything. That’s what double or nothing means. Not my fault I didn’t have double the clothes to take off for you. Now.” You gritted teeth and yanked those pants out from under her boot, pitching back on the bed as they finally gave into your hands. “I got a little purchase to make for you.”

The bruiser groaned and dropped back into her seat, elbows upon those thick thighs that you so adored, head in her hands.

For a split second you wanted very badly to take pity on her. To leave off getting dressed and go over, cradle her face up and try, just try to kiss her if she’d let you. Tell her you’d let her slide if she’d only be sweet to you tonight. Nah. You hopped up and into those tight pants, jumping a little for joy and a little to get them over your hips. Pulled on top, grabbed boots, knives and wallet and headed for the door.

“Be back soon!”

She dropped her hands to watch you yank the door open, pause and blow her a kiss. Pale teeth bared in a silent snarl behind those pretty dark lips.

»»————-　♔　————-««

The blessed silence of an uneventful evening had settled over Silco’s office, left him to his work in peace for once. No fires to put out either literal or figurative, no irritating interruptions or minor inconveniences his underlings ought to be able to handle on their own but somehow always needed his attention to resolve.

A forgotten cigar smoldered in the ashtray, nearly an inch and a half of cylindrical ash at the end of it, cherry fitfully ready to extinguish from neglect as the thin wisps of smoke curled upward in pungent incense as his pen scratched away on the paper. The door to the office creaked open and he only cast it a passing glance.

Stopped. Looked up again.

Sevika was edging in the half opened door, acting like she’d use the bulwark of it as a shield for as long as humanly possible before she had to come all the way into the room. It was safe to say in all the time he’d known Sevika - pretty much the entirety of their adult lives at this point - he’d not once, never, known a single moment his second in command had worn a dress.

Let alone one black, exceedingly short, puffy sleeved, frilly with stiff crinoline, cut low in front and...yes. With a little white pinafore apron. Even her dark hair, which he largely suspected she frequently cut herself with a knife slightly too dull to do the job properly, even her hair had been brushed to a high gloss sheen and done back in her habitual half up style with a plush lacy white bow. Muscular legs remarkably handsome in dark stockings with their suspenders peeking out from under crinoline fluff, and the uncomfortable clomp of high heels.

She held a feather duster in one hand with the mien like she’d find a way to make a weapon of it somehow.

Steel grey eyes refused to meet his, trained on the far corner of the room, like she’d just ignore his presence entirely. He knew her better though. And teal eye narrowed as she inevitably snuck a glance at him that quickly flitted away hard and fast. Just enough time to arch one dark brow at her before she shut the door.

His blind reach for the whiskey glass was slow, the kind of unhurried movement one might use in order not to startle a wild animal, and he brought it to his mouth as mismatched gaze tracked her. Noted her resigned sigh before the graceless clomp in those heels toward his chifforobe and bookcases. And she began to dust with that feathered little mop. Dust like she’d prefer to set the whole office on fire instead.

And Silco went silently back to his paperwork. Pen scratching away studiously as she slowly made her way around the room. Dusting. Respectful silence strained to the snapping point until...

“Lost a b-”

“Yes of course I lost a bet.” She cut him off sharply.

Watched his head tilt slightly as he kept eyes on the papers in front of him. Could feel him failing to repress a snide grin she couldn’t see from this angle half behind him. Clomp clomp clomp. The rest of the ‘dusting’ was done in a hateful hurry, practically knocking over a lamp and various other trinkets in her desire to just be done with this humiliation.

To his credit Silco managed to wait until she’d sashayed her clomping way out and shut the door behind her before resting his forehead on fingertips and letting teal eye shut as shoulders lifted in perfectly silent mirth. He had a good inkling exactly who was the winner of this little wager - and good on her. He’d never thought that mouthy little Piltie runt of an assassin would have had in in her... but then again. Well, it was good to know your employees. Have a grasp of their capabilities. He sorted through the pile of books to one side of his desk, pulled a ledger free and flipped it open, made a notation on a page and then flipped it shut. Thought for a second and then opened it again, to a page much closer to the front. Made an entirely different notation on this one and smiled thinly to himself.

Good for her.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Ugh, to have been there! A fly on the wall. That was the only thing you regretted in all this; that you had to satisfy yourself with imagining exactly what was going down in Silco’s office right now. Sevika would never give you the scoop on what went down and you certainly would never ask the boss how he liked having his office cleaned as a result of your little bet.

So you lay back on your bed, hands laced behind your head, one leg propped and bouncing on the bent up knee of the other, grinning like an idiot at the ceiling as you enjoyed each possible scenario that could be happening. Except for the ones where your little prank got Sevika fired. Silco may be a terrifying, violently tempered bastard but you’d seen and heard enough to know the boss also had a rather surprising wicked sense of humor, particularly when it came to the humiliation of others. Besides, Sevika was his right hand and he was no fool. She’d be fine.

Your door opened and slammed shut, jerking you out of your happy reverie with a little jump to find Sevika glowering at you, stance spread, feather duster gripped like a knife, expression black as a thundercloud.

She kicked her heels across the room hard enough they left twin little dents in the wall.

Hands slid from behind your head as you propped yourself up on elbows and offered her your biggest, shit-eatingest grin. She pointed the feather duster at you, sterling eyes narrowed sharply.

“Not one bloody word.”

“How’d it go?” You ignored her command delightedly. Had her snarling and advancing on you.

You scrambled, trying to get off the bed and make a break for it. Yelping as she got hold of your ankle and dragged you back, flipped you on your stomach and pinned you down, one knee to the small of your back.

“How’d it go?” She mimicked you with a high little irritating voice, and you could feel her shifting over you as you struggled, weight pressing you ever harder into the mattress. A second later that white pinafore and its long ribbons were winding around your wrists and then looping them together to the headboard, punishingly tight.

“You have any idea how long it took me to build the reputation I have in this organization? How much shit I have to take on a daily basis? No of course you don’t little brat. All you do is run that mouth of yours and occasionally get real stabby when Silco needs someone killed quick and doesn’t care how messy it is.”

“Hey now-!” Look she could be mad, but you were good at your job too.

Sevika’s mouth was next to your ear in a heartbeat and she had it in her teeth. Crushing the tender shell of it, tugging like she’d bite it off.

“If you’re smart, princess, you’ll shut the hell up. Right now.” She snarled, never once releasing that bite until you whimpered a mute agreement, unable to even nod with the grip her teeth had. They released and you gasped against the flooding fire of delicious pain left behind.

The weight of her knee left the small of your back and you could hear the snap of suspenders as she yanked stockings off, only to use each one to tie round an ankle of yours and lash them to the foot of the bed, spread eagle lower half.

Only then she got up off the bed and shed the rest of that silly maid outfit, had you groaning as she flung it on the floor. She really had looked adorable in it. Just... the kind of adorable of an apex predator in pink bows. Deadly cute. The open flat of her hand caught the curve of your ass a sharp slap. Hard and sudden enough to have you nearly swallow your tongue, and thank fuck it wasn’t her prosthetic hand she’d chosen to spank you with.

You’d elected to await her return in the cheekiest pair of simple black underwear you had and your usual dark shirt. No bra. Comfy. Unfortunately also excellent target practice for that open palm of hers as she took the edge off by absolutely whaling your backside until you were struggling to escape each new slap, skin hot fire gone from pink to hot flush red you could feel. Bottom on absolute fire. Her final slap had tears stinging your eyes as you writhed forward with a keening little strangled noise.

“Don’t go soft on me, princess.” She murmured overhead, hand reaching to take a generous grasp of one burning cheek and kneed the sting of it slowly. Damn you, you lifted into it, trying to peek over a shoulder at her, caught her smiling darkly and knew you were well and truly fucked. Still, unwilling to break that command not to speak. You liked having two ears, thanks.

“You aren’t getting off easy this time.”

The bed dented on either side of you as Sevika settled weight on her knees straddled over you, metallic fist landing in the soft of the mattress beside your face. Had you blinking at the dangerous machinations and soft whirring clockworkings of it even as you felt her other hand slide under you, up under your shirt. And the second she got a cup of one bare breast you shuddered, arched up as best you could, silly thing, to give her more space.

Only to be rewarded with an agonizing twisting pinch of one tender nipple that had your mouth dropping open and a shudder wringing through you from tip to toes. Her rich voice chuckled softly overhead before her mouth pressed between your shoulder blades over the runched up fabric of your shirt. Fingers merciless. Tugging, teasing, the little bite of her thumbnail digging into that singing, sensitive nub. Your eyes were rolling back in your head, hips bucking against the bed, feet kicking against the soft give of the stocking restraints. None of it stilled that delicious torment.

“Hope you had time to rest up while I was out embarrassing myself, princess.” The press of her mouth strayed up to the nape of your neck, breath a wash over skin before she sunk possessive teeth in slow, like she’d scruff you no different than a big cat with prey. “You’ll have no sleep tonight.”

#sevika #drabble #drabble request #crack drabble #sevika x reader #sevika arcane #sevika arcane x reader #arcane #arcane fic #arcane drabble #sevika drabble #sevika crack fic

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yandereloversblog · 2 years

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Here another one: I had a dream where I eating at a restaurant and I saw this Aquarium they had and one of the the octopus started to insult me- I start to argue back and the octopus told mw “if u don’t stfu right you little pussy bitch I’ll make you a whore for a whole 3 months” I said I’ll take my whore inspiration from you octussy- the octopus got rlly mad and turn into Ursala. I was trying to run away bc she was trying to eat me. I ran out of the restaurant but apparently bc I said ursala a whore a bunch of clownfish with legs wanted a fight- I don’t fight so I ran again and I ran into 5 10ft minions who were in the back licking cocain off the the ground - I didn’t relized that I walk into a cult and they got mad bc I walk into it and I had to run again. While running I ran into a night market where I got transported into a video game where I was stuck in a maze with a clown that was 4ft tall but if he catches you he suck on your toes. I didn’t want that but I wasn’t rlly fast at running so he caught up to me and I was drag down to the ground where he took off my shoes and started to suck and lick my toes and then I woke up

Idk if this should be a hc or scenario 😭 but I think either one works- I kinda want more Yandere BD (first Gen) and Yandere baiji trio (baiji, Chifuyu, Kazu) dealing with my dramas 💀

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄!1𝐬𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐧 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐁𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐨

I would like everyone's attention... Um- these crack dreams are now my priority and I'll be doing them as soon as I see them thank you very much. But I'd like to think of these more as discussions XD

... And yes I have a special border for BajiTrio don't come at me.

Him: Babe, if Ursula says one more bitchy thing to you in your dreams tell me, I'll go in the ocean, catch that bitch and cook her... And I'll kill every clown I see from now on to make you feel better. Those bitches better count their days.

Listening very intently, remembering every detail and writes it down to keep some inside jokes between the two of you when time comes: Shinichiro, Chifuyu, Baji

Him: I see... *Falls asleep*

Either fell asleep as you were talking or once you were done: Takeomi, Benkei

Him: What the fuck is up with the clowns like- Know what, next time we see a clown I'll punch them for you.

And he did punch those clowns, probably now has a deep hatred towards anything that bothers you in your dreams: Benkei, Kazutora, Chifuyu

Him: Are you sure you weren't doing cocain yourself before I kidnapped you???

Is starting to believe you've had some drug addiction he didn't know of before but thinks your dreams are entertaining: Baji, Wakasa, Takeomi

Him: Okay- listen bitch. Why am I not in your dreams?

You: What does that have to do with this?? Just shut up and listen.

Him: No, I want to be in your dreams from now on. Don't tell me anything unless I'm in your dreams.

Next time you wake him up to tell him something he BETTER be in your dreams saving you from some creepy ass clowns: Shinichiro, Wakasa, Kazutora, Baji

Him: Yes you're a whore- but you're MY whore, make that clear to her next time okay?

Just- it's just Wakasa, no need to elaborate more on this.

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mishqua · 2 years

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The time a Dark Lord accidentally becomes a child-

'You gave me an inferiority complex!'

'.... I am sorry, what? When?'

'Since the time you were born!'

'... You are a Dark Lord!'

'Exactly! What kind of Dark Lord can't defeat a child! You ruined me!'

Harry looks around at everyone-

' .. Stop it you are embarrassing me' He hisses.

' That's what father told me before I killed him!' The Dark Lord wails.

#crack drabble #harry potter #tomarry #tom riddle #harrymort #tom/harry #lvhp #mishqut drabble

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demon-blood-youths · 2 years

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Does Port Mafia Have Benefits? | A Crack Drabble

A drabble featuring Chuya, Ryunosuke, Gin, Dazai,and Kunkida by @the-silver-peahen-residence and my muses Navarro, Shdwkyz, Maggie and Fosh from my blog @demon-blood-youths and Matt from @lovelyxhorrors

This crack drabble contains cursing, offensiviness, meme references and complete nonsense! There are some grammatical errors. You have been warned!

Summary:

Do Port Mafia Have Benefits?

The DBT and ADA meets with Port Mafia regarding the Lovey Horrors whereabouts. Then the conversation took a funny turn of what are the work benefits in Port Mafia.

-----

“What the hell do you mean you’re going to work with Lovely Horrors?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND?! Did you just slept the entire Powerpoint presentation of how fucked up these guys are or you just don’t give a shit?!” Navaro staring at Chuya in dsielief. Chuya sighs.

“Look....I don’t like it either but these guys....are helping us out in finding their teammate Cobin. Plus they helping out in other things....” Like Pete who wants to accompany Q on their missions and the fraction killing their enemies who tried to assassinate Ryunosuke and they rescued Gin.

“Cobin?!” Navarro asked.

“Yeah...that uh....killer robot you told us about-! Sid told us-

“Sid?! Who the hell is Sid?!” Navarro said.

“The one wearing the cloak wearing a ghost face mask!” Chuya said angrily. “She said that we should work together in taking down Cobin and-

“And what? And what?! They leave and that’s it?! Killer Night just kill Iron Titan in front of your own eyes. Not because he did it because it’s right.! It’s because that happy-ass Micheal Myers lookalike motherfucker does it for the shit and giggles! How do you know they’re not going to kill you next on their list?!” Navarro demand.

Ryunosuke scoffs, “If they did, most of us wouldn’t be here.” He already doesn’t like this brat for bad mouthing Matt right now. He heard it from Matt that DBT are strong like the leader named Van Ink The Dragon. But her teammates? Like this Navarro is too loud, too vulugar and acting too immature. “And a weakling like you should be grateful that Matt and his fraction are offering a helping hand to you lot.”

“The fuck do you say?!” Navarro glared at Ryunosuke, “Man, screw that! Next you’re going to tell me they’re going to join you guys because of health benefits!”

“Health- what?!” Chuya stared, wondering what the hell is Navarro going about. Gin blinks.

“Health benefits!!!” Navarro repeated. “Dazai told me you guys got a LEGAL business permit and you got a lot of benefits and that’s why people join your gang in the first place!”

“Wha-??” Chuya just glares at Dazai who looks to be smiling micheviously and starts to whistle as if he is pretending to be ignorant. What the hell? What the hell is Dazai telling these kids about?!

“I mean you do have benefits at Port Mafia?” Maggie said. “Right?”

“Every company should at least have benefits, that would be weird if you guys don’t” Fosh said making Kunkida and Shdwkyz sighed at the same time. They��re getting off track here. The DBT members wait for Chuya to answer. However....

“I don’t know...I mean...” Chuya doesn’t know how to answer that. Gin had an answer to that question but Navvro groans,

“Oh my god...” Navarro begins, “You’re a damn executive of the mafia and your dumbass don’t know if you have health benefits, vacation days and shit?! What kind fuck of business are you running here?!” Navarro said. This made Dazai starting to crack up, trying so hard not to laugh.

“What do you mean what kind of business are we’re running here?! We’re PORT MAFIA! We run shit! We kill shit! We do shit and do crime! We’re mafisos! We take names and kick ass! That’s what we do! LOOK AROUND YOU! WE’RE THE BEST CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION IN THE CITY!”

Dazai starts laughing making Kunkida scowled, wondering if Dazai wants to entertain this nonsense.

“NOW DO YOU WANT OUR HELP OR NOT?!” Chuya shouted. “COME ON!”

“LISTEN FOOL! If you don’t tell us if you got benefits or not, I’m going to give one star on yelp, bitch!”

Chuya twitched his eye which made Dazai wheeze a little. His laughter is so contagious it starts to makes Maggie and Fosh snickered. Even Shdwkyz lets out a snort at this.

“Oh my god!” He facepalmed, wondering what bullshit is this,

“You aren’t gonna give me shit, kid. Either accept their-OUR help or GET OUT!” Chuya shouted, “I thought I’m dealing with fraction whose knows what they’re doing but A COUPLE OF CLOWNS from freaking NEW YORK just walked through our door!”

“What the fuck did you just call me?! I’m going full Cuban on your dumb-ass! Tienes beneficios o no! ¡Maldita sea! ¡Dinos! ¡O te volaré el culo al infierno! ¿Tiene beneficios para la salud? ¿Días de vacaciones?! ¿Tienes incluso dental?!”

And Chuya just lost it.

“SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HE’S SAYING!" Chuya shouted, pointing at Navarro. Maggie could help out but she is too busy laughing to give Chuya an answer. “WHAT THE FUCK HE IS SAYING?! I DON’T SPEAK TACO BELL!!” This made Dazai and the rest of DBT cracked up even harder. Dazai slaps his thigh as he laughs even harder.

Kunkida sighs, running his hair with his hand as he feels that he is surrounded by idiots. Navarro continues to speak Spanish.

“I-I don’t know.” Kunkida said as he has now have the DBT except Navarro whose is ticked off, they are laughing their heads off with Dazai who is hunched over, holding his sides as he continues to laugh.

"WELL GET SOMEONE WHO EITHER SPEAK ENGLISH OR FUCKING JAPANESE!!" Chuuya yelled. Navarro continues and Dazai is laughing his ass off along with his teammates meanwhile Kunkida groans internally.

“THIS IS THE LAND OF THE RISING SUN!” Chuya shouts, shaking Navarro’s body by the shoulders. “WE. SPEAK. JAPANESE!” Chuya tells Navarro, shaking him by the shoulders every time he says the words.

“¡Cuáles son sus beneficios! ¡¿Qué son?!” Navarro continues.

“All right! That’s it! That’s it, You little shit! You’re coming with me! COME ON!” Chuya said, now dragging him outside at this point so he can kick his ass.

But suddenly-

“SLIENCE!” Ryunosuke sends out Rashmon tearing a hole in the wall, stopping whatever nonsense he sees and he going to set the record straight. Because, by god, this is most dumbest thing he has ever seen! Rashomon growls as Ryunosuke takes a breath and begins to answer.

“We have health benefits, work parties, vacation days, rewards, bonuses, maternity leave, career & personal development training,, work-from-home options, and dental.” Ryunosuke calmly answered the boy’s question.

“And employee growth plans, unlimited sick days, relaxation spaces, and company equity.” Gin adds, nodding in agreement with her brother.

“That....sounds pretty good. Way better than ones in American offering.” Fosh commented to which Maggie and Shdwkyz agreed. Even Kunkida is impressed to hear that. No wonder, so many people joined Port Mafia.

“Happy? I don’t see how that does to do with anything! Now can we please move on! Before I kill any of you in this room!” Ryunosuke glared.

This shuts down the conversation and two parties return to the topic on hand. Finally, the DBT has accepted the help of Lovely Horrors working with Port Mafia for the time being.

-----

Later that night

“Wait...so you guys do have benefits?” Matt asked making Ryunosuke sighed which made Matt cracks up before hugging Ryunosuke after hearing the most funniest story he ever heard of.

“Maybe I should join Port Mafia as a temp.” Matt joked making Ryunosuke sigh and shaking his head with a smile.

#drabble #thesilverpeahenresidence #the-silver-peahen-residence ( The No Longer Human Hero Detective - Dazai Osami )#the-silver-peahen-residence ( The Man With Ideals In His Notebook - Kunkida Doppo )#the-silver-peahen-residence ( The Gravity Gangster of Port Mafia ( Upon The Tainted Sorrow ) - Chuya Nakahara )#the-silver-peahen-residence ( The Black Fang Hellhound - Akutagawa Ryuunsoke )#the-silver-peahen-residence ( The Silent Deadly Blade of the Black Lizard - Aktuagawa Gin )#DBT #timetickingtimebomb #crack drabble #Demons on Crack;#bungoustraydogs;au #thequirkworld;au #bungou stray dogs rp

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inmaki · 3 months

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gojo showing off your back scratches to geto

( cont from this fic! req, visual ) .

contains: sex talk, desc of back scratches, crack, sugu is called daddy once (as a joke.. right..)

everything was relatively peaceful in suguru's apartment. key word: relatively.

a forgettable yet appreciated sunday afternoon, not a cloud in sight despite the weather forecast predicting downpours of rain. either way, the raven-haired man insouciantly rested across his white couch, reaching the conclusion that today would be a day for self-care, relaxing, and perhaps some meditation.

there was only one thing ruining his peace.

all morning, suguru has been forced to try and ignore the stain a certain someone has left on his couch — a pair of unecessarily expensive yet dirty shoes being the culprit.

despite these attempts, every once in a while his gaze can't help but wander over at the mark — as if it'd poof out of existence if he glared hard enough.

"fuckin' asshole.." he mutters. it was a wonder his relationship with his best friend managed to stay so promising despite all their differences, yet suguru wouldn't have it any other way, even after situations like this.

right when he grumpily turns back to the tv — which was playing some crappy, low budget rom-com — his apartment door is yanked open and suguru swears he nearly jumps out of his seat.

great, was this it? was he about to get robbed, perhaps evicted? and then probably die? forced into the afterlife knowing gojo's shoe-shit was still on his new couch? no that can't—

"i fucked her!"

suguru whips his head towards the apartment door, announcement being disregarded as he nearly groans in agony. speak of the devil.

big blue eyes peak out from under circular sunglasses, one hand already raised in preparation for a dap up while his stupid, big, dirty shoe pushes the door closed behind him. gojo wears a black compression shirt with grey sweats, marching over to his friend with a ginormous grin across his cheeks.

"take your shoes off, now," suguru snaps, nodding to his friend's feet with a frown.

"yeesh... whatever y'say, daddy," the bastard never loses his smile as his hands raise in surrender, kicking them off by the door smoothly. "what's got your panties in a twist?"

geto pinches his nose bridge. "don't call me that," as he continues the scolding, he points to the living room with his free hand. "you got a mystery stain on my couch, satoru. do you know how many youtube videos i watched trying to get this shit off?"

unphased, gojo takes a look at the strangely colored blob against the armrest's leather material and shrugs. "my bad. did you try febreeze?"

"what— no? dude, febreeze is for.." when suguru looks back up to sourly meet his gaze, he could immediately tell the white-haired man was already drifting back into la-la-land, words going in one ear and out the other. "..nevermind. why're you here?"

at the reminder, satoru seemingly brightens, head shooting back up as if he was just told he'd won the lottery.

"oh god, don't make that stupid face—" he pauses. "the fuck are you doing?" suguru might as well say goodbye to his self-care day, because now gojo was stripping in the middle of his living room, shirt thrown haphazardly onto the still-very-much-stained couch.

"just look!" suguru squints as his friend swivels around to face the wall, pushing his bangs away to get a better view of the— oh shit.

it takes the raven-haired man a second to process what he's seeing before shuffling forward, closely examining the achingly red, bulging scratch marks displayed sexily across the latter's back and shoulders. "no way.."

suguru knows the strongest sorcerer well enough to notice how he purposely didn't use reversed cursed technique on these scratches, just so it'd be obvious to anyone that caught a glimpse of what exactly occured. to his further dismay, he can already picture a smug and sweaty gojo walking around their local gym like this, proud simper on his pretty lips as he easily raises a pair of weights in his veiny hands.

a hiss escapes geto's mouth as he runs his finger down a particularly agitated one, knowing exactly how painful they could be after experiencing many hook-ups of his own. even so, satoru only licks his lips, neck craning to the side so he can pride himself in his friend's gobsmacked expression.

"damn, these are deep. you actually hit it?" suguru confirms, raising a celebratory hand.

turning back around, satoru daps him up, a massive smirk now on both their faces. "hell yeah, it was amazing."

it was impossible to predict what gojo would do next after barging through his front door — especially considering how many times he's done so — but this has to be the last thing suguru ever expected.

not that he was complaining — in fact, all of geto's temper and need for relaxation seemingly flew out the window, the feeling of proudness for his best friend overthrowing anything else.

and even if he hated to admit it, the way gojo was so eager to come over and announce his virginity loss to him was more than a little endearing, and dare he say cute.

"that's great, man. congrats." suguru leads him into the kitchen — still shamelessly shirtless — to grab them both a can of beer in celebration. while the white-haired man usually didn't get involved with any form of alcohol, this occasion was most definitely exception-worthy. "you made y/n cum too, right?"

an offended glare is shot his way. "duh, two times."

"huh. surprised you could last."

as suguru pours their drinks into two fragile cups, gojo exhales, not bothered in the slightest by his jab. "dude, same.." he admits dreamily. "she was so fuckin' tight and warm.. and oh— fuck, her moans? heavenly.. 'can't believe i didn't bust after the first minute.."

geto gulps, trying his best to ignore the mental image his brain was producing from his dirty words. you can't blame him — both of you were smoking hot, and he was a simple man.

even now, he could already imagine what you both looked like; panting and moaning, skin-slapping so loud that it echoed through the whole room, how blissed out you'd look as gojo's cock split you in t—

satoru's playful sigh cuts through the tensing air. "who knows sugs, maybe you'll have another kind of stain to worry about next time we're over~"

he's never snapped out of a daydream so quickly. "don't even joke about that."

over the next hour, the two men sat manspread on the stained couch, taking leisure sips while recalling satoru's final moments as a virgin — suguru giving out his secret tips and tricks along the way.

maybe sometime, suguru could offer some.. hands-on learning instead.

mlist! <- sugu.. how could u think abt ur bestie and his gf like that... tsk tsk tsk (if u enjoyed reblogs/comments r appreciated heheh)

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chrollohearttags · 11 months

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thinking about door dasher!eren again as I sit here working

no warnings, except this mf being annoying ☠️

working remotely, sometimes up into the late night hours, it would often times render you unable to leave your desk until after long after a majority of the restaurants and grocery stores in your city had already closed for the day. Besides, you often times didn’t feel like standing over a stove after staring at computer screens and crunching numbers for eight plus hours. So the most viable to ensure you didn’t go hungry once you clocked out was to have DoorDash deliver something. It wasn’t something that had ever really crossed your mind but it was quite the convenient service. However, what you didn’t bet on was your dasher being quite possibly the list insufferable man to ever walk the earth! Eren, the tall, dark haired, handsome green eyed devil who always managed someway or another to get your orders. Scooping it up from your eatery of choice but not without unwarranted sarcastic commentary..tonight was no different! Pulling up to your apartment complex in a grey Challenger, tinted windows with the windows rattling from the obnoxiously loud speakers in his trunk. Blasting Young Nudy or Dolph, as if he had not a lick of fucking sense. “Your Dasher Eren has picked up your order” As soon as you got that notification, your stomach would instantaneously fill with dread.

where most would be glad to see their delivery driver and even tip them, you only went into defense, preparing to have to go for a battle of wits and possibly cussing his ass out. “Bring my food and don’t start today.” But he’s gone do more than just start, he’s gone piss you off! Standing outside of your door, scraping up the pavement in Nike Slides, sweats and a hoodie, beatboxing on your door. “(Y/N)! Hey girl, come get your food!” Putting all your business out there. Telling the whole complex how you ordered a milkshake and a large fry (emphasis on the large!) “I know you hear me. Why you playing?!” Just being an obnoxious asshole 😭 you’re yelling from the 2nd story window for him to leave it. “Eren, I’m not playing with you. Leave my food and go!”

but he’s waiting until you come greet him because he’s not done. “Shawtayyyy!” Acting like a complete degenerate until you come down, flinging the door open. “The fuck do you want, bro?! Give me my food.” Snatching the bag and drink from his hand. Smacking your lips all flustered. But he just keeps wearing that shit eating grin and smirks at you. “Shit, I want my tip. What’s up?” Knowin exactly what he means but the only thing you have for him his a closed door to the face. 0 stars for sure.

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chuluoyi · 1 month

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࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 03:12 A.M 」

tw: pregnancy. just a little something based on ask~ gojo annoys you on daily basis, so now you return the favor and he can't refuse it bc you're his baby mama😋

a part of gojo's love entries

“satoru— your baby is hungry,” you pouted, poking his cheek repeatedly. “sa-to-ru!!”

it was 3 in the morning, and ideally, you would have been sleeping... only that suddenly you were awoken by rumbles from your growing belly.

yet your husband was still sound asleep without any care in the world, prompting you to poke him until you succeeded in making him hear you out.

satoru begrudgingly cracked his eyes open, still having his face tucked under the blanket and yawning. “ngh, sweets… what is it?”

his sleepy voice was thick, low and raspy. usually you’d swoon and leave a hickey or two on his neck but not now, as the overwhelming hunger made you almost curl.

“baby is craving mochi,” you said, eyes shining up to him ever so innocently. “get it for me, satoruuu.”

“oh?” if he wasn’t awake before, now he was after hearing your nagging tone drawling his name. he faced you and drew you closer. “what do you want again, hmm?”

“ice cream mochi!!”

“oooh that.” satoru scratched his head at the memory of him eating the last of it yesterday. “but we ran out of them, sweetheart… wait till morning, yeah? i’ll go to market to get some.”

“but...”

“can’t baby wait a few more hours, hmm?”

“no! want it— now!”

satoru blinked at your insistence. you looked positively adorable while sulking at him too.

“why mochi all of sudden, huh?” he decided to humor you. “you used to say they taste bland.”

“that’s because of your sperm infecting me,” you sullenly accused. “and don’t pretend you haven’t been feeding me mochi for weeks. baby likes it more than i thought.”

“hey! don’t bash my sperm! they did no wrong and completed the deed splendidly!”

“you’re just a one-time donor, don’t be smug.”

he whined and you huffed, before suddenly your stomach grumbled loudly and you curled up. “mmhm.”

“hey… what’s wrong?” satoru quickly sat up and placed his hand on your baby bump. “really hungry? wait, i’ll get you something to nibble on first.”

he rummaged through his work uniform and found several bite-sized chocolate bars he brought around, and unwrapped the foil. “here.”

you immediately devoured the treat to sate your hunger, but still, your baby longed for more—

“mochi…” you mumbled despondently, your expression turning heartbroken. and one second later satoru realized how much he wanted to squeeze your cheeks, and relented.

“okay, okay, sweets~” he gave your head several comforting pats, making you look up. “i’ll go and get the mochi, yeah? you stay put and wait for me, 'kay?”

“yay.” a little smile bloomed in your face and satoru chuckled, finding you so unbearably endearing.

and so, for you, he ventured out to the closest 24-hour convenience store, picking up some ice cream mochi along with other treats to replenish your stock, before teleporting back home.

he was expecting that you'd still be all sulky while waiting for him, but instead, he found you peacefully asleep, hogging his pillow.

each breath that caused your chest to rise and fall made you appear all the more vulnerable and soft in his eyes.

you looked so irrevocably precious to him. his sweet little wife... in that moment, satoru felt like he was the luckiest man alive, getting to have you as his.

“you naughty girl.” he let out an amused laugh before reclaiming his spot next to you. the hold you had over him— you made him go through the cold night air, and now you were monopolizing his pillow and he had to resume sleeping without one at all.

and yet all he could feel was love. for you and your baby, as he pulled you close to his chest.

“both of you sure love teaming up against me, huh?”