that cabin eren look has changed the trajectory of my life and given me the stupidest idea ever lmfaogekgs! Just walk with me for a minute

content: musician au ofc, sexual references, reverb lore (?), ony, armin and connie being aggravating as hell lmfaooo, comedy them being big ass kids, ony using the n word (nb’s keep it cute)

📝: I’m reporting live from the ER so I need something to keep me entertained. 😭 this is so dumb, forgive me.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰──── ───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰ ───

“Nah, tell them folks the full story! Go ahead.”

“Look at him getting embarrassed. He’s so cuteee.”

the sound of clicking keys and controllers rang out over the headsets, among the loud laughter and chatter coming from those wearing them. The four illustrious artists, EJ the Don, Armin Hammer, Prince Cee and Ony The God; forming the collective known as Dead Boys Society were normally coming together to perform their many hits, or even comprise music. But tonight? They had a whole other reason..or two rather!

“Tell your mama’s story, bitch. Ain’t nothing to talk about.”

on one of the very rare occasions that the gentleman accrued some free time, they decided to host a Twitch stream. Playing video games, previewing new music and just having a good time. That was until they decided to bring them out…the infamous photos.

Ony, who was in full blown hysterics, falling out of his chair in laughter as he hoisted his phone to the camera. He could barely even be contained. “Look at this nigga, bro! You couldn’t tell him shit.” And the others followed suit. “Malibu’s Most Wanted looking ass.” Armin was just in hysterics, trying to cover his face. Eren, however was not as enthused! “Say sum’, Armin. I dare you and I’m going dead in your shit when I see you again.” “Don’t get mad at me because you were the mall whore. Getting passed around.” Which was so ironic coming from him! Because during the stream, the conversation of their previous lives and how they met came about. Ony divulged that he and Connie had known each other a long time and even went to school together. The pair played basketball as well. When they were seventeen, they began working at the Bayside Mall in a shoe store. Which is where they met EJ, who had just enrolled at their high school as well. The three became really close and eventually that they not only shared an affinity for sneakers but music also. They’d compose songs, make beats and mess around during their shift. When the three of them worked together, the store was packed to the brim, even with a line out the door. Due in part to their main attraction: the cute boy from Jersey with the green eyes and the voice of angel. At any given time, there would R&B and rap playing and he would know every word. Definitely a rarity in the urban area! Connie, who vividly remembered him wanting to be in the stock room but the manager insisting on Eren being on the floor. Thanks to Ony’s suggestion! Because of that, every girl from here to Opa Locka wanted a piece, even telling him they wanted his baby! It was utter chaos. “(Y/N), ma. I’m sorry but your man had hoes. In there serenading them girls and they used to eat that shit up. They loved him. He had like three baby mamas and four step kids before he left.” Rolling his eyes, Eren would take a sip of his drink and try to interject. Defending his honor because lord knows no one else would! “Nah, they were trying to exploit me. Pimping me out for corporate gain. Bunch of bastards.” And (y/n) was just enjoying this little storytime of your man. Exposing his younger self. So when Ony showed the photos of him in his uniform with a gold chain, a tapered fade and Nikes on, posing with his fingers up, you couldn’t help but to laugh. He was just as adorable then as he was now! It most certainly wasn’t his proudest moment. Hence why he loved having hair long now.

“A white boy with a fade singing Pretty Ricky and Trey Songz and you thought we wasn’t gon’ put that nigga front and center? That was our meal ticket. We had to do something.”

and you fell clean over, unable to hold it together! Along with the chat who was spamming a plethora of ‘LMAO’ ‘s and scrambled letters. A mess! “If it means anything, baby. I think you look handsome.” Squeezing his cheeks and cooing to him as consolation. And he was not trying to hear it.

“It don’t mean shit, but thank you, princess.”

He blocked everybody that night and refused to give you any dick for a week straight because of this lil’ escapade. 😭 “I thought shit was funny, what happened?”

Motherfucker’s been dead since that unfortunate incident with the Dark Star. Even my shit about him surviving somehow is fanon. Sorry to truth bomb, y’all! XD

The Grr of All Ransom

A.K.A. "how a one-shot becomes 35k: an emotional escalation"

*this post is purely for humour and silly purposes! The fic these screenshots are from is here. Enjoy 😝 Warning for language! Sorry.

**read left to right, then next row down, etc, but since some are clipped, it's likely easier to tap/zoom and scroll through...

p.s. whoever made this gif, you have my WHOLE heart. you have done God's work.

Twilight Princess Darknuts are Armor Daddies. You can not change my mind.

These idol anime are starting to get out of hand.

"Jerry, why are you a fucking puddle?!"

after sentimentai spotify™ proposed me verka as logical lyrically conclusion of the evening because there's no post-esc week unassisted by verkaʼs shotglass

Not Karl..

imagine taking musician!eren to a haunted house. Of course, he’s being a cocky bastard and mouthing off about how he’s not afraid. “I ain’t scared of shit I can’t see. What are they gonna do? Beat my ass?” He even goes as far as to invite Connie, Armin, Ony and even Jean just to prove there’s nothing to worry about. He doubles down and says they’ll shoot their new music video there just to drive the point home. “Alright, Eren. These are spirits we’re talking about. Play with it if you want to but don’t cry when something happens.” And the entire way there, he’s talking shit. These dumbasses even decided to bring a ouija board because he truly doesn’t believe in the paranormal. But it’s a different tune when they get there and start moving around..

“This ain’t even that bad, man. Ain’t no fucking ghosts in here, bruh.”

Connie, the first to mouth off is also the first to fly out of the room when he hears voices and realizes that it’s not any of you. You and all your girls decided to be smart and get all of the necessary protection beforehand so you’re not worried. Armin’s scary ass was shaking like a stripper before he even got through the door. However, they start losing their minds when they feel chills and stuff start moving on its own. “What the fuck was that?!” Eren, who had all the mouth in the world before…bumping those pretty little gums together, is now about to crawl out of his own skin because he just got a handjob from Casper and the lights are flickering. Yes, Mr. Living Dead Boy, dark aesthetic, always rapping about graveyards and murder is losing his shit and running around like a bad Scooby Doo montage all because they had to test their luck. 💔

A fun Game.

Dude when my social battery runs out there’s like no warning. I don’t get the 20% warnings it’s just I’ll be enjoying my time and then all of a sudden if one more word is spoken I’m going to kill myself and everyone around me.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do!