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turtletaubwrites · 7 months

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My Needy Girl ~ Part 4

Pairing: Zoro x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3,707

This is part 4 of the Series 'We've All Got Needs,' linked below:

We've All Got Needs Masterlist

Ao3 Series Link

Summary: You’re starting to question how safe your arrangement with your crewmate is. Zoro really wants to be the world’s greatest ‘swordsman.’ Someone on the crew might have heard you last night. Zoro might be taking it badly.

Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Fem!Reader, 18+ Only, MDNI, Mildly Dubious Consent, Reader-Insert, Smut, Flirting, Accidental Exhibitionism, Mention of Masturbation, Rough Sex, Penis in Vagina Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Cock Warming, Dom Zoro, Swearing, lil angst, Casual Sex, Possessive Sex, Possessive Behavior, Hair-Pulling, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Condoms, Shameless Smut, Friends with Benefits, Crewmates with Benefits, Relationship Discussions, Zoro's a straight to the point kinda guy, and we love that, but now he needs to figure out what he wants

A/N: Oops, I accidentally wrote way too much again. Some character stuff, more crew interactions, lil angst?, and some build up to future installments. But there is smut at the end, I swear! I hope you enjoy, I'm excited for what's up next! 😊⚔

Somehow you’d managed to stay awake while Zoro slept easily, resting his head on your lap. You would have left on your own, but you couldn’t leave without waking the sleepy swordsman. He carried you, and he would brook no arguments.

All that time sitting there had driven you a bit crazy. Your body was still sore from the mind blowing abuse, the orgasms he’d ripped from you. But your mind was still reeling from your brief discussion of boundaries, followed immediately by the most possessive sex you’d ever had.

That’s just sex. He told you he wanted to stay casual, you agreed you could see other people.

Not that you wanted to. He was right. You couldn’t imagine going to anyone else when he’d be here, waiting to tear you apart like that again.

This is dangerous.

What if I fall for him? What if he actually is that possessive, and it causes problems? What if I get hurt? What if I have to leave the crew because we can’t keep our shit together?

These fears had kept dancing in your mind, taking turns with your shivering memories of his rough hands on your skin.

You didn’t want to have these worries. You wanted to trust that he was honest with you and himself, and that you both could keep this strictly casual.

You wanted to keep space between you.

How can I be sure he can keep his own distance? Keep that possessive nature just during sex?

You’d managed to fall asleep at some point, til Nami stuck her head into your room.

“Come on, sleepy head. You’ve gotta get breakfast before Luffy eats everything.”

Groaning, you looked in the mirror. Surprisingly, you only looked half dead. You did what you could quickly, then traipsed to the galley.

Sitting yourself on the end of the table next to Luffy, you gratefully poured coffee into the mug that was waiting for you. Luffy scooted over to give you room before leaning over the table, and speaking with his mouth full.

“Hey Zoro, have you been exercising in your room lately? You’ve been extra noisy.”

Nami narrowed her eyes at Zoro while you took a sip of your coffee, pretending you hadn’t heard Luffy’s hilarious question.

“Yeah, actually, I’ve uh, been working on some extra core strengthening exercises lately.”

Usopp chimed in after chugging some tangerine juice.

“Mind not doing them in the middle of the night, green guy? Some of us can’t nap seven times a day like you do.”

You joined the group in laughing, and kept your eyes away from Zoro’s.

Sanji appeared next to you, setting a plate down, the delicious scent making you sigh as your eyes fluttered closed. Having Sanji as the ship’s cook made you feel spoiled.

“Good morning, sweetheart. I made some cinnamon syrup for your pancakes, I know how much you enjoy it.”

“Oh, um, thank you Sanji.”

His smile deepened, and you looked away from his bright eyes.

Then the whole group went quiet as Sanji sat at the table next to you.

Normally, Sanji didn’t eat until the rest of the crew was finished. He’d never sat beside you during a meal that he'd cooked before.

He reached across you to grab the coffee pot. The whole length of his thigh pressed against yours while he poured himself a drink.

“Can I have some cinnamon syrup, Sanji?

“You already ate 12 pancakes Luffy. I’ll make you cinnamon syrup tomorrow.”

You looked down at your tantalizing breakfast, body tingling from the heat of Sanji's firm leg still pressed against yours. You risked glancing up at Zoro, but he was too busy scowling at Sanji to notice.

You spent the day cataloging the seeds and dried herbs on the ship. There were a few that you’d had to argue with Sanji about, agreeing to split whatever you found for kitchen use.

Thoughts of the cook this morning made your cheeks flush, and you shook your head. Sanji’s just being Sanji.

You avoided the kitchen for lunch, enjoying a few snacks and tangerines on deck with Nami.

“Do the boys seem extra obnoxious lately, or is it just me?”

Your eyes widened at Nami’s words. You wanted to tell her everything, but didn’t want to risk her judgement.

“It’s hard to tell, aren’t they always?”

“I guess.”

Nami picked at her nails before eyeing you again.

“Find any cool plants on the last island?”

Feeling a soft smile hit your lips, you leaned toward her, and shook your head.

“Nope, just picked up some rosemary and chamomile. We’re always running out.”

“Ohh, did you make more of that rosemary hair stuff?”

Chuckling, you nodded.

“I have enough, I’ll make you some tomorrow. Chopper uses it too.”

“I can tell! He’s like a walking air freshener when he washes all that fur.”

Still giggling with Nami, your laugh got cut short when Zoro came out on deck with rage in his eyes.

“Someone didn’t get their beauty sleep.”

Nami had given a stage whisper, and Zoro scowled at her before starting his training routine.

You had to go inside, otherwise you would have been drooling on deck while you watched him.

Your work always had you bouncing between studying with Chopper, and making salves and tinctures in the kitchen. You chose Chopper today.

“Hi Chopper!”

“Oh, hi, Y/N! What are you working on today?”

“I was going to ask you. Are we stocked up on salves?” I’ve got more aloe for burns if we need it.”

“We’re all set! I’m so glad we have you on board, it really helps me focus on learning more with you helping me make such good supplies!”

You grinned at Chopper, his cute, sweet face had been planted into medical books when you interrupted.

You decided against spending the rest of the day in the kitchen. They can wait on their rosemary oil for another day.

By the time dinner came around, you were feeling more yourself. Until you walked in and saw both Zoro and Sanji look at you. Rushing to your seat, you knocked over your glass while reaching for the carafe of water. Luckily Robin’s many hands caught it. You thanked her, but she just tilted her head at you inquisitively.

There’s no way we can keep this secret for long.

You fought again not to glance at Zoro, afraid that one look would make everyone see what you’d been doing together.

Sanji appeared next to you again, and you startled.

“Apologies, beautiful. I was just checking that what you have is enough to satisfy you. If not, I’m sure I can provide something more to your liking.”

It sounded like normal Sanji banter, but your pulse raced when you met his eyes. They’d dilated a bit, making them dark, and you realized you hadn’t responded.

Sanji winked at you, and now you were sure he seemed a little more forward than even he normally was. Nami interrupted, saving you from your stunned silence.

“Ew, gross, Sanji. Quit making Y/N uncomfortable, and go bring us dessert”

Sanji kept his smirking eyes on yours for another moment before bowing, and excusing himself to the pantry.

You flicked your eyes toward Zoro, and caught him staring after Sanji like he was about to pull out his swords in the kitchen.

You made a face at your tea, and Luffy poked you with a stretched finger on the forehead.

“You okay, Y/N? Your face has been red a lot lately. Do you have a fever?”

You held in a laugh as Usopp scooched away from your potential illness, while Robin sent hands across the table to touch your forehead.

“Y/N’s fine, you boys just need to stop bothering her. Nami, why don’t you raise their interest if they don’t?”

You laughed at their outrage while Nami grinned at you.

Glancing at Zoro, you saw that his jaw was still clenched as he watched for Sanji’s return.

As the group stretched, some yawning and heading to bed, Sanji cleared his throat behind you.

“Y/N, I was hoping you wouldn’t mind helping me. I’d like to stock up on some infused oils so I don’t have to make them daily. Would you give me the honor of assisting me?”

You felt Robins calculating eyes, and Zoro’s penetrating gaze, but couldn’t think of a reason why you shouldn’t help out.

Sanji beamed when you agreed, and you busied yourself grabbing the tools, avoiding everyone’s eye contact as they left.

Zoro seemed to be acting possessive, but you couldn’t tell if it was just his general dislike of the cook, or if he would be this possessive around anyone you get close to. Or if he would want more from you.

You didn’t like the thought of testing it out.

I need to stop this now if he can’t handle being casual. I can’t risk that.

Sanji’s warm presence beside you was so calming. You worked together, talking softly, laughing at jokes, and grinning at his praise. He’d always been too much, and the way he hits on every woman in sight made your eyes roll. But he really is good company.

Finishing up, you carefully labeled each bottle with the date and ingredients while he started on the clean up. You joined him at the counter to dry the dishes, shivering when his fingers would touch yours for too long.

“Thank you so much, Y/N. Can I make you some tea?”

You returned to the table, watching him work after you agreed.

Sanji sat across from you, and the air seemed hot, not just from the steam of the tea.

“Y/N, I need to be honest with you.”

“About what, Sanji?”

He pulled back, looking ashamed.

“I, um. I heard your conversation here last night.”

Your mouth fell open as you remembered. Trying to get Zoro to talk about boundaries. Zoro rubbing your hand along his cock before dragging you out of your seat to go fuck in his quarters.

“Wh-Why did you listen?”

You felt very still, not sure what emotion to feel.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I was coming back to prep for the morning meal. I should have interrupted or left. But I heard, and I had to make sure you were okay. I didn’t like the way he spoke to you.”

You watched the muscles in Sanji’s jaw clench.

“Are you going to tell anyone?”

Sanji’s eyes went wide, leaning forward.

“I would never, Y/N! But I will kill him if he hurts you.”

You stared, realizing that he was completely serious.

“Thank you, he’s not hurting me, Sanji. We just have an arrangement.”

Sanji scoffed, and you raised your brows.

“I’m sure that Mosshead is perfectly happy with his arrangement. Happy to take and take.”

Sanji set his hand on the table next to yours, a few fingers trailing along the edges of yours. Chills ran up your body as you looked back into his darkened eyes.

“You deserve someone who will give and give to you. Someone who values your pleasure more than their own.”

“How would you- You listened to that too, didn’t you?”

He pulled his hand back, and ran it through his hair. He sat back from you, lighting a cigarette. I’m actually starting to enjoy that smell. Fuck.

“I know, it was wrong. But he was so rough with you in the kitchen. I was worried he would hurt you too much.”

Your breathing got heavy at the thought of Sanji listening in while Zoro fucked you into oblivion. Of him listening to your muffled moans and screams, hearing you beg for Zoro’s cock.

You met Sanji’s eyes again, feeling heat pooling between your legs. His eyes were trained on your parted lips, your breathing hot. Your brain seemed to shut off as other parts of you took the wheel.

“Did you touch yourself while you listened to me?”

“N-No, Y/N, I...”

His eyes looked panicked, and you watched his tongue push forward slightly to wet his lips.

“Please don’t lie.”

Your words came out strained, and Sanji glanced at your breasts as they heaved with your breathing.

“I-I’m sorry. It was so wrong. I just… the sounds you made…”

Your eyes flew back in your head, a small moan escaped your lips. You felt the table shift, as if Sanji had thrust toward you at your sound.

His eyes were heavy lidded, his mouth hanging open, but he pulled himself together.

“Let me show you, beautiful. Let me give you what you need. Let me take care of you.”

Sanji’s pleading made your skin hot, and you felt wetness seeping through your clothes at the thought of him taking you right now on the kitchen table.

But you managed to keep your head enough, trying to keep a fucking handle on something.

“I-I can’t. Not yet.”

Sanji stared, waiting. The word ‘yet’ seemed to hook him.

“I made an arrangement. I have to make sure that’s okay first. Then we can talk.”

You traced one finger along his hand, pulling it away before you pulled him toward you.

Sanji looked like part of him wanted to be angry when you mentioned the arrangement, but the rest of him seemed to be practically drooling.

I wonder if he’ll listen in again.

That thought sent you shivering as you went to find the swordsman.

You didn’t have to go far.

Zoro was waiting for you in the hall. Your breath felt trapped in your throat at his expression. He nodded toward his quarters and you started moving, his body radiating heat behind you.

When you made it inside, he closed the door quietly, then shoved you against the wall.

“Zoro, I- Zoro!”

You cried out as Zoro shoved his hand down the front of your pants, fingers slipping into your folds from how wet Sanji’s confession had made you.

Zoro pulled his fingers from you, and you slumped against the wall as he shoved them into his mouth.

“Zoro…”

“It’s all good, Needy. Go fuck the cook if you want to. I know he won’t be enough for your tasty, needy little cunt.”

You moaned, but tried to pull yourself together. Your voice came out high and breathy.

“I don’t want what we’re doing together to cause issues. Tell me if you’re not okay with this.”

“I’m okay, Needy. You can fuck everyone on the ship if you want. I know who you’ll be begging for.”

You moaned again as Zoro started trailing his hand down your stomach, crawling back down to your center.

“But Zoro, why? Why are you claiming me? We shouldn’t be doing this if it’s already causing prob- unf…”

Zoro had shoved two fingers inside of you, and was curling them right against that needy spot.

“You want me to stop, Y/N? You want me to stop giving you what you need?”

His fingers went faster, and you were panting, hanging onto the wall.

“Tell me you want me to stop making you feel good.”

You moaned, your body so close to the brink already.

“Well, what do you need me to do?”

“D-Don’t stop, Zoro, pleease.”

Your desperate whine made him groan, thrusting against your thigh while his fingers kept going.

With his free hand he dug through his pocket, and shoved a condom at you, before pulling himself out of his pants.

“Put this on my dick now, before I take you without it.”

He groaned again at the feeling of your pussy clenching his fingers at that threat.

“You’d fucking like that wouldn’t you?”

You scrambled to open the wrapper, crying out as you touched him, smoothing the condom down his length.

Gasping as Zoro withdrew his fingers from you, you whined pathetically, begging for him.

“There she is. My Needy girl. Come here.”

Zoro tore your pants off, then sat with you straddling him on his chair.

He made you lift up, gasping as you hovered over him. Smirking, he pulled your panties aside, and forced you to slam onto his swollen cock.

You felt tears stinging your eyes as you fought your scream.

“So good at staying quiet, huh, Y/N. Just a hungry little kitten, crying for some attention.”

You were lost, the feeling of his long cock hilted within you, but not moving, was making you feel feral. You tried to move your hips, to fuck him, but Zoro laughed and held your hips in place.

“Nuh uh. You’ve gotta earn it now. Just sit still, and keep my cock warm, Needy.”

You slumped against his shoulder, twitching with every slight movement. He was so long and it almost hurt, but you knew if he just moved a little it would take you there. You continued struggling for friction, but he just gripped you in place and chuckled at your distress.

“Wh-What do you want Zo-Zoro?”

Digging your nails into his arms to stay steady, you watched his smug face.

“I just want you to remember how it feels to have my cock inside you. I want you to think about it, all day everyday.”

You couldn’t help your whimpers as he leaned forward to breathe the next words along your neck.

“I want you to crave my cock, even when he’s fucking you. I want you to remember that no one can fuck you like I can. The cook will just warm you up for me.”

He laughed then, and bit your ear.

“Maybe I should thank him. He’ll get you ready for me. All warmed up, your hungry cunt dripping wet, so I can fuck you even harder than I have been. How does that sound, Needy?”

Zoro had thrust up into you to emphasize your nickname, and you were a desperate mess.

All you could do was drag your drooling lips along his neck and shoulder, scratching uselessly at his arms while you begged, practically sobbing.

“Please, Zoro. Yes please, fuck. I need you, pleeease.”

His hand gripped into your hair, and you stopped breathing as he stared down at you.

“That’s right, Y/N. I’m the one who can give you what you need.”

If you’d known how to respond, you couldn’t. Zoro used the fingers in your hair, and the hand at your waist as leverage to start shoving you onto his cock, over and over. You came so quickly, and he growled, invading your mouth with his tongue. Tears kept streaming down your face as he kept thrusting up into you through your orgasm. His rough hands and mouth kept you trapped on his cock, his tongue muffling your screams.

He pulled away from your lips, leaving you gasping.

“Tell me you need my cock, baby.”

You moaned for him, your body almost taking you there again for him.

“Finger yourself, and tell me how much you need my fucking dick.”

The demand in his words made your eyes roll back. You reached for your clit, slippery with your overwhelming pleasure.

“I love your cock Zoro. I-I need to feel your cock in me everyday, it’s so fucking good!”

Zoro groaned, his eyes clamping shut as his thrusts slowed, erratic. You could feel him start to pulse inside you, it sent you screaming while you came again. Zoro managed to cover your mouth with a hand while he fucked into you through his own orgasm and yours, until he collapsed against the back of the chair, your body slumped onto his.

Thoughts were out of reach as you convulsed in his arms.

Then you gasped as his warm palm started smoothing along your spine, then rubbed in gentle circles.

He kept twitching inside you, and you kept clenching around him, so he stood with a grunt, lifting you and settling you into his hammock. He cleaned himself up while you closed your eyes, still not back to reality.

Then Zoro was leaning toward you, running a hand lightly along your arms.

“I’m sorry I keep interrupting you when you want to talk.”

You choked out a laugh, and had to clear your throat a few times before replying.

“I have enjoyed the interruptions.”

His satisfied smirk made you grin.

“But we’ve got to be clear on this. As much as I love what you’re doing to me-”

Zoro bit his lip, eyes filling with heat again.

“-we can’t keep this up if it’s going to affect how we act as part of the crew.”

He furrowed his brows, taking a breath. You pushed through, trying to say everything before he distracted you again.

“I don’t think starting a romantic relationship would be smart. It could end very badly for everyone. I think a casual arrangement to fulfill our needs could be perfect, but only if we don’t let our feelings get in the way.”

He narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms.

“You just want to fuck the cook.”

You choked again, wanting to laugh, but not sure if he was joking or not.

“I want us to be very clear about what is and isn’t okay. What do we do if one of us wants to fuck someone else, or starts falling for someone else? How do we handle that, talk about it? What if one of us starts feeling serious about each other?”

Your face felt hot, but you kept going.

“I can’t risk losing my place on this crew. Even if it means I don’t get to enjoy our time together again. I need you to seriously think about what you want and need, and what your boundaries are.”

Zoro looked serious, almost sad.

"Zoro, I want to know if how you treat me when we, uh- I need to know how you feel about me, and us right now. Before we get in too deep."

Struggling to get yourself off the hammock, his rough hands helped you steady yourself.

You pulled your pants on, still wobbling a bit, before you placed a hand on his chest and looked up at him.

“Let me know when you figure it out. I can wait.”

You left Zoro’s quarters, and didn’t look for eavesdroppers as you snuck to your room.

Thank you for reading! 💜

TurtleTaub Fanfic Masterlist

Part 5

Buy me a coffee ☕🙏🏼

#zoro smut #zoro x reader #Reader Insert #Fem!Reader #Smut #My writing #mine #One Piece smut #Opla smut #opla zoro x reader #zoro x you #zoro fanfic #zoro fanfiction #x reader #turtletaub fics

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rainysofsunshineao3 · 21 days

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8 DAYS Y'ALLL

Alright, I'll admit it, I was a bit um...i don't even know the right word. Thrown off I guess by Yaz' new design. But guys, seeing the animation from the actual show,

She's the exact same lol. Her mannerism is on POINT from JWCC. Our girl has just grown up. I do wonder if there was a reason she looks so different than how she did on Nublar, maybe it's a trauma-related thing and she didn't want to look at herself and be reminded of the horrors she went through or maybe it's because the animators really wanted to emphasise she's out of track (Which I am absolutely CONVINCED she is now).

But I also wanted to mention something @e-750 pointed out in a reblog. Like, yeah, Ben states our girlies are still together, but some things are definitely off and I think it could be one of a few things. Or maybe just all of them cause Yaz loves to be dramatic with this shit.

I'm sure Yaz going to college threw a wrench in something between her and Sammy, mainly because Sammy seems the type to settle down at 19 at her ranch and just, never leave. She's happy with the home life and Yaz, who's been an athlete her whole life and just in general likes to move who's obsessed with being "Perfect" because that's what everyone expects / he's expected of her maybe doesn't want that or feel satisfied, hence her going to college. Although the college thing might also just be her interest in psychology and helping others who've gone through dino-trauma like her.

Like, I can just imagine Yaz leaving and not wanting to come back until everything she thinks is wrong with her is "fixed" so she doesn't have to burden Sammy with it anymore.

Another thing is even back in JWCC, Yaz was worried about distance, and even if her going to college wasn't intentionally distancing herself from Sammy, maybe she starts seeing it as a way to be like "Oh, maybe I can slowly cut myself off from her so she doesn't have to deal with me anymore" and "She deserves so much better than me" type of shit that girl deals with.

Either way, Istg if those two don't have I together and are all happy by the end of the series I'm going to lose my ever-loving shit.

Give the girls happiness and a nice settled ranch life baking pies ISTG.

#jwct countdown #jwct #jwcc #yasmina fadoula #sammy gutierrez #yasammy #Raine rambles for a bit

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liquidstar · 2 months

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SEASON 3 TRAILER DROPPED HERES MY THOUGHTS (LN spoilers)

BROTHER AND SISTER OF ALL TIME THEYRE SO CUTE <3 love seeing how their relationship has progressed from beako literally throwing him out a window for stuff like this to her happily playing along its so so so so so cute. genuinely just one of the cutest and sweetest dynamics in the series

hi ram roswaal and fred :) this is probably all we're going to really see of you guys this arc lol

JOSHUA REAL!!!!! but not for long (also otto in the bg foreshadowing all the drinking hes about to do this arc. hes so stressed. poor emilia is trying her best)

julius looks so babyfaced here? they really emphasized his long eyelashes just like subaru has been on about every time he mentions him. they better include the scene where he checks him out, like, if they dont animate subaru looking dead at this mans ass im going to riot

i LOVE this shot of ana. you can really tell shes up to some corrupt capitalist bullshit as we speak. love her for that. wish i had this pic when i made that one money game anastasia video

the red dress actually does look really good on crusch like it compliments the green hair really well but also the crusch we know would not walk around in such a thing so its like. damn looks like the "memories are an important part of identity" story thinks memories are an important part of identity. who knew.

ALSO LOVE FELTS NEW LOOK SO MUCH! the only complaint is i felt (felt lol) like the red brought out her eyes more but the blue also looks cool. three primary colors all being used looks nice too

whatever who cares about all that THE CUNT!!!!!!! THE CUNT IS HERE!!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR ALL THE DRAMA SHE CAUSES TO BE ANIMATED FOR REAL

no fucking way... did they actually...

THEY DID! THEY CENSORED THAT HORRIBLE FUCKING DESIGN OH MY GOD. SHES WEARING SHORTS AND JUST A CROPPED SHIRT. AND CHAPS I GUESS? BUT ALSO A LITTLE SKIRT CAPE SO NO ASS SHOTS... THIS WILL MAKE WATCHING THE SEASON SO MUCH MORE TOLERABLE. i mean not perfect but STILL.

photos taken seconds before disaster lmfao. i still love how chin thinks subaru is a freak and weirdo for being so buddy buddy with him after he and his buddies mugged him. twice. (even more times from subarus perspective. hell he stabbed subaru once) genuinely cant wait to see more of this dynamic its so stupid.

THE FUCKING CUNT!!!!!! also the apples lol

oh you poor thing. you have no idea what next level family drama bullshit awaits. good luck. get ready to kill grandma AGIAN lol

:'( emilia still misses her terrible cat dad and its kinda sad when you know were not getting a resolution on that here either. they both look so sad :(

i cannot wait for garf mommy issues round fucking 2.

THIS CRAZY BITCH!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS CRAZY BITCH ANIMATED. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW THEYRE PORTRAY HER MANNERISMS. ESP W HOW WILD PETELGEUSE WAS ANIMATED IN S1. REAL LOONY TOONS BULLSHIT. AND HER POWERS ARE ALSO SOOOOOO MUCH COOLER I CANT WAIT

NO MORE DRESSES FOR CRUSCH YAY

he fucking bit it. yeah i guess thats what dogs do tho.

YOU. DIVORCE MAN. KILL YOURSELF. SLASH SERIOUS.

the empathy powers will have a glowing eye effect. very cool but i hope they dont show it too much in the first scene bc like in the LN i think its cooler if you dont know why everything is so... Wrong.

i dont rly have anything to say i just think ferris looks cool covered in blood. imagine being healed here like doctor catgirl will see you now

emilia be nice. that crazy bitch might be your mom. just like how the previous crazy bitch was in fact your dad.

THEY CHANGED UP CAPELLA'S DESIGN TOO honestly tho her being sexualized makes sense w a lot of the themes (the way its intentionally meant to be perverse and gross in a way explicitly stated) so i didnt mind as much and she still IS here but. this is still an improvement imo just a better outfit looks cooler. bug.

NAUR I DONT WANNA WAIT... OCTOBER.... AUGH

#re:zero #very excited even the things that i was the most unexcited abt and made me wary to watch have been fixed a bit yippeeee

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starsandhughes · 10 months

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Penalty Box— Imagines Edition: Knight in Shining Armor

SERIES MASTERLIST

well… what was going to be a short imagine inspired by a scene in tsitp s2 e6 turned into this… enjoy <3

warnings: underage drinking, swearing, makeout sesh, one singular mention of weed

word count: 3.3k

December 2017 (Junior Year- Pre Dating)

Going to parties after a win, for both the U17 and U18 team, wasn’t unusual. In fact, it was pretty much expected at this point. This time Spencer’s parents were leaving for the weekend, so naturally his house became the party house. The parties started out small, but over the last couple of months they’ve grown since more people have found out about them. Virtually any student that attended the game knew that they’d receive a text soon for the location. A lot of people brought alcohol and other various substances to share with everyone so that it wasn’t all on the thrower’s shoulders. It was always quite the experience for everyone that showed up.

You tended to drag the boys into helping set up for the party if someone on the U17 team was throwing it since that was their team. It had been this way since the first time someone on the team threw a party.

“Ohhhh Knight!” you hollered as you entered the house. “I come bearing beer and boys!”

“Dos Equis?” Spencer questioned when he saw the four six packs in Jack’s and Cole’s hands. You held up a bottle of lemon juice in response. “Yeah alright.”

“It makes them taste even better!” you defended yourself. “It’s better than those nasty ass Natty Lites!”

“Leave our taste in beer alone!” Trevor shouted.

“Until you turn into big boys and find some taste, I will continue to belittle you! Modello, Michelob Ultra, anything but Natty Lites!” you shouted back.

“WHY HAVE YOU HAD SO MANY DIFFERENT BEERS?!”

“MATTHEW!”

Trevor threw his hands to his face and groaned dramatically, throwing his head back, “Of course that’s the reason.”

“Sissy hung out with Matthew, Quinn, and Brady after a game in Calgary and came back thinking she was better than us because she had different beers,” Jack laughed. “You’re not, by the way!”

“Matty thinks otherwise,” you smirked.

You looked at Trevor as soon as you said his name to see his reaction. Once you found out how much it bugged him, you found it somewhat entertaining to bring him up. You weren’t sure why. Maybe it’s just because of how much you constantly talked, especially towards the beginning of the year, but no one else minded like him. This time, Trevor slammed his head down on his folded arms on top of the kitchen island. You unsuccessfully stifled a laugh, causing him to lift his head up and glare at you.

“What do you have against Matthew?” Spencer asked.

“Nothing,” Trevor grumbled. He sat up and grabbed a giant bowl and a chip bag to make himself useful.

It only took half an hour to set things up. Alex helped Spencer take breakables to his upstairs bedroom, you put the beers in the fridge and set up a liquor station complete with cups, shot sized red solo cups, Titos, 1800 Tequila (it was all Cole had because it was cheap) and various sodas and mixers. A few people had already said they had some bottles they could spare, more beer, and some “girly” spritzers which really just meant Trulys and White Claws.

Within the hour, Spencer’s house was full of people. Most people you at least knew their names from being in classes with them, but a lot of people were seniors that you didn’t know because they were friends with the U18 guys. There were some senior girls that you’ve become party friends with, but that’s about it. You tended to stick with your friends. Tonight, however, you were feeling social. You had a good day and the guys had a big 5-1 win, and all your friends were spread out throughout the house anyways. You grabbed a random bottle of tequila, one of the bags with the shot cups, and decided to wander around handing out shots to various groups of people.

You found the group of girls you normally hang out with at parties first in a corner of the living room first.

“Y/N!” Grace exclaimed. She was in your grade and you shared a couple of classes with her. She was one of those friends that you spent time with in classes and parties only and not really anywhere else. That was the case for pretty much everyone you knew that weren’t the guys.

“Grace!” you echoed with just as much enthusiasm.

“Does our girl have a bottle of tequila?” your other friend, Meagan, asked with a smile.

“That she does! Care for a group shot, ladies?”

“I’m offended that you asked that,” Paris, the lone senior, said.

You poured each of them a shot and set the bottle down after you poured yours and raised your cup, “Here’s to our fine asses and the trashy rap music Spencer won’t let me change!”

“Cheers!” the three girls laughed.

You held your breath after you tapped your cups together before tossing the shot back to not taste the harshness as much, but you couldn’t hold back your scrunched up face at the after taste. You spotted Cole laughing at you across the room and you flipped him off in response.

“Excuse me, I have to go whack my best friend for laughing at me,” you told the girls before you walked away.

You had to maneuver yourself through some people to get to Cole. While you could spot each other across the room easily, getting to him was not that easy. Being short was definitely not a plus in this situation either. Cole knew exactly what was coming and tried to get to the other side of the kitchen island, but he was experiencing the same problem as you. You caught up to him before he could get too far and whacked him outside the head.

“Ow!”

“That’s what you get for laughing at me!”

“What was I supposed to do?! Tell you that you’ll do better next time?!”

“I didn’t even react that bad!”

“Wanna bet?” Cole asked with a raise of his eyebrows. You narrowed your eyes at him, “You’re on, Caufield.”

You called Alex over to be the judge as to who made less of a face after a tequila shot. No chasers were allowed, but now that you were determined instead of just casually doing a shot, you fully intended to hold everything in. Just doing one apparently was not big enough of a competition, so you were doing two in a row as fast as you could with the goal of not making a face.

At the end of Alex’s countdown, you immediately threw the first shot back. You held your breath, a trick you’ll die by, and didn’t let yourself breath until after the second shot was down. The boys always refused to do that for some reason. Your eyes widened and the burn was terrible, but you were holding it together for the most part. Cole clearly tried to be a tough guy, but his face mirrored what you’re sure yours looked like after the shot with the girls.

“Did you even try, Coley?” Alex laughed. “Y/N beat your ass by a long shot!”

You threw your arms up and cheered, “AHA! Suck it, Caufield!”

“That stuff’s cheap!” Cole tried to defend himself. “It was disgusting! And you had a shot before and could prepare yourself!”

“Sucks to suck,” you tutted. “Guess your talents end at the rink.”

“I can still smoke you out,” Cole rolled his eyes and shoved you playfully.

You three stayed in the kitchen for a while just hanging out. You grabbed yourself a beer to sip on since you just did three shots in a row and needed to slow down. You stayed with the guys even as more people came over to talk to them and just laughed along with them despite not caring at all about the conversation. You suddenly did care when a certain someone was brought up.

“I’m just glad Trace is actually talking to Z instead of just constantly talking about him to me,” one of the guys said. “I swear, my sister is borderline obsessed with him!”

You felt something heat up inside you. Trevor is a flirt, sure, but he hadn’t actually shown any real interest in anyone as far as you could tell. You and him always tease each other and playfully flirt, but that’s all you two were doing. You were friends. That’s it. So why did you care if he was chatting it up with some girl that was “borderline obsessed with him?” You looked around and spotted the pair by the back door. Tracy was leaning against the back door, twirling her hair with her fingers. Cole and Alex sent each other a knowing look.

“Hey, Y/N–” Alex started speaking.

“Excuse me,” you cut him off.

You made your way through the sea of people a little more forcefully this time to get to Trevor. You didn’t know Tracy; you didn’t have any classes together. But you did know that a lot of guys were attracted to her. She could have any of those guys, she didn’t need to have Trevor. You hated the idea of him with her and you didn’t know why. All you knew was that the alcohol swarming in your veins was probably impairing your better judgment. Trevor isn’t yours, but you sure as hell didn’t want him to be hers.

You were a foot from them when you tripped over somebody’s foot. Trevor’s reflexes acted quickly. He caught you before you could fall on your face in his arms. He was holding you as if he was dipping you during a dance. He had one arm behind your shoulders, and his other around your waist with his hand settling on your hip. Your eyes met his, the dark atmosphere brought out the green in his eyes in a mesmerizing way.

“You don’t need to hurt yourself to get my attention,” he whispered in your ear.

He kept holding you like this, and despite your balance being back, you let him. You bit back a smile at the look of his face. He looked at you like you were the only person in the room and that his arms were where you belonged. You felt as if you could stay in them forever. It was weird. It was new. You smirked, knowing that you now had his attention and no one else did.

“I think she’s okay now,” Tracy said, annoyed.

You tried to not express your disdain at the sound of her voice as you stood back up.

“I guess alcohol doesn’t fix my clumsiness,” you fake laughed. “Thank god for my knight in shining armor, yeah?”

“I’ll always save you, Princess,” Trevor replied with a smile.

“Anyways, as I was saying, Trevor–”

“I just came to tell you I beat Cole in our little competition to not make a face after some shots!” you cut her off. She huffed and crossed her arms. You smirked at her before continuing, “Wanna take me on, Z-Baby?”

“We were actually–”

“Lead the way,” Trevor interrupted her. “Nice talking to you…”

“Tracy,” she finished for him, seething.

“Right,” he nodded. “Have a good rest of your night!”

You waved bye to her smugly knowing that you’d won. You felt satisfied at the scowl that took over her face. You’d never been a petty girl, and you certainly had never felt like this. But the thought of Trevor with a girl was a feeling you didn’t want to feel again. Was this how Trevor felt when you talked about Matty?

You brushed it off as you took Trevor’s hand and led him to the kitchen where Cole and Alex still stood. Jack had joined them and it looked like the three of them had been talking. The three of them looked at you two with looks that you couldn’t name. They almost looked amused.

“I’ve been summoned for a no-face-post-shot competition,” Trevor said. “Want to make it a group one?”

“Line ‘em up,” Jack said.

You cheerfully grabbed a handle of Titos, not being able to find tequila, and poured everyone a shot. Same rules applied, no chasers, and to have as little of a reaction as possible. Spencer was the judge this time since there were more of you this time. You all lifted your shots and tapped them on the table after Spencer’s countdown and threw them back. You barely felt it since you were already a little drunk, okay maybe decently drunk, so you were proud at your lack of reaction. Cole’s face was better, but not as good as yours. Jack hates vodka, so his face was full of disgust. Alex you were pretty sure faked his reaction so that you could win, but Trevor showed no mercy.

“Y/N and Trevor were pretty head to head, if I’m gonna be honest,” Spencer said amused.

“What?! No way! I took that like a champ!” Trevor protested.

“You gotta declare a winner! We can’t tie, Spencer!” you practically screamed. You were way too competitive to tie.

“I saw them both,” Cole said. “I think we both know who won.”

Spencer gave you a look telling you that he hated what he was about to do to you.

“Trevor…”

“TRAITOR!” you shouted.

“Sucks to suck,” Cole said, copying what you told him earlier. You stuck your tongue out at him in retaliation.

Trevor leaned his back on the island to face just you, “What’s my prize, Princess? I feel like I deserve a prize. Plus, you called me your knight in shining armor after I saved your life from imminent death, so I deserve a really good prize.”

“Doesn’t the Princess normally kiss the knight that saves her?” Alex said with a smirk.

“I think she does,” Cole agreed.

“I do believe that is how the story goes,” Spencer added on.

Trevor’s face was red, but he held onto his smooth guy demeanor. You looked at your friends. All of them had the same expression of amusement on their faces, even Jack. You gave Cole one look and he read your mind. He put his hands over Jack’s eyes, and as soon as he did, you stood on your tiptoes and slammed your lips onto Trevor’s. He was taken aback at first, but quickly started to kiss you back. His hands found their way to your waist and he turned you so that you were pressed up against the island. You brought your hands up into his hair to deepen the kiss and parted your lips to allow his tongue to slip in.

If you were sober, you’d be embarrassed by the cheers from your friends, but it only made you kiss him harder. The only reason you parted was because your air supply was running out. You leaned back against the counter panting, absolutely entranced by the lust in Trevor’s eyes accompanied by his now messy hair.

“That was one hell of a prize,” Trevor said dazed.

“I can lose gracefully sometimes,” you said back.

“That was anything but graceful,” Cole laughed.

“And way too long,” Jack said, making the other three boys laugh even harder.

“We should have competitions more often,” Trevor flirted.

“You wish, Zegras,” you brushed him off teasingly.

That feeling you felt when you saw him talking to another girl was obliterated, and a desire for more took its place. You said “you wish, Zegras,” but you were really the one wishing. Wishing for more. Wishing for his attention to always be on just you. But you were drunk. That’s all this was, right? This wasn’t a kiss brought on by the raw need for each other. This wasn’t a kiss after a first date. This was a party. Your friends were around, egging the kiss on in the first place.

It didn’t mean anything.

And yet, it meant everything.

But you knew it wouldn’t happen again. Trevor is Jack’s best friend. This was a party, and you’re drunk. It might as well have happened during spin the bottle, because that’s what the kiss had to be. You’ll wake up tomorrow and the heat of the moment will have worn off and you’ll go back to how things were. You’re just friends. These weren’t real feelings because they couldn’t be.

It wasn’t too long before the party started to wind down and you, Jack, Alex, Cole, and Trevor all got into an uber back to your and Jack’s house to stay the night. Luke was away at a friend’s house for the night, so Alex took his room. Cole took Quinn’s, and Trevor practically had permanent residence in the spare room from staying over so much. Jack took you to your room to make sure you didn’t fall and stayed in there while you showered and got ready for bed. Once you were clean and changed, you came and laid down next to Jack in your bed on top of the covers.

“So… that was a pretty heavy kiss you had tonight,” Jack said.

“And? It was a party, we were drunk, and I couldn’t not kiss him after you four were making so many comments about it,” you said nonchalantly.

“True, but it could’ve been a simple kiss.”

“It was the heat of the moment,” you said, reaffirming it to yourself as you had been since it happened. “We’re friends, Jacky. That’s all.”

“You wouldn’t have kissed Cole or Alex like that,” Jack continued.

You dramatically fell forward into his lap with a groan, “Drop it, Jack! I don’t have feelings for your best friend, stop worrying!”

“I wasn’t worrying!” Jack laughed. “Admit it, Sissy. From the day you two met there were some flirtations blooming.”

“Who the fuck talks like that?” you mocked him. You rotated your body so that you were comfortably laying in his lap. “We just happen to both have flirty personalities. You’re looking too much into nothing.”

“Are you saying that because it’s true, or are you saying that because you think I’ll hate the idea of you two liking each other?”

That stunned you into silence. Sure, you tended to target your flirting and teasing to Trevor, but that was just how you two are. And yeah, maybe Tracy talking to him brought on a feeling that you guess could only be described as jealousy, but that doesn’t mean you like him! You had already dated a guy this year, and yeah, it ended up in flames, but that obviously meant you haven't had feelings for Trevor since you met.

“He doesn’t like me and I don’t like him and that’s that, Jack!”

“Alright, alright, I’ll drop it,” Jack caved.

You got silent and curled up closer to Jack. The high of the night was wearing off and you were finally tired. Jack’s words were swarming around your brain. A part of you felt that Jack was saying that Trevor actually likes you without saying it. But that was an insane thought.

“If you’re going to fall asleep, at least let me put you under the covers,” Jack said softly.

You sat up and allowed Jack to reach over to unmake your bed. You got off of him and slid under the comforter set and laid down.

“Want me to stay?”

“I’m okay. Goodnight,” you said.

“Goodnight,” he responded.

You turned over and laid flat on your back when you heard your bedroom door shut. You couldn’t stop thinking about this kiss. You couldn’t stop thinking about what Trevor said when he caught you. You couldn’t stop thinking about how Trevor left Tracy without a second thought. You couldn’t stop thinking about how much Trevor deepened the kiss on his end. You couldn’t stop thinking about Trevor.

You had feelings for your brother’s best friend.

You had feelings for Trevor. The drunkenness was gone. You were level headed. You had feelings for Trevor and you were sure of it this time.

Fuck.

#penalty box series #penalty box series: imagines #trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras fanfic #trevor zegras x hughes reader #jack hughes #cole caufield #alex turcotte #spencer knight #hockey imagine #jack hughes imagine #cole caufield imagine #alex turcotte imagine #trevor zegras au

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hopefulromances · 11 months

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Long Time Coming I Chapter Six I More Than A Crush

Summary: Being hired as the first female assistant coach in the league was a challenge of it itself. Being a football protigy and University Football Legend was easy enough. Coaching Jamie Tartt was a challenge all on its own.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warning: Drinking/getting drunk, a little bit of angst?

A/N: Thanks for 100 Followers yall! Tell me what you love most about this series so far!

Prologue One Two Three Four Five

A week passed and the team seemed to move on from Man City. Back to normal practices and games. Everyone moved on. But not me. I was still sat on the bus next to Jamie, who had requested me to sit next to him, feeling my head lull as I started to fall asleep. I was still laying my head on his shoulder at some point and his head laying on mine. I could still feel our legs tangled in the seat and our hands almost intertwining between us. I couldn’t have imagined all of that. Could I?

“(Y/N)!”

Oh, right. I’m standing on the pitch passing the ball back and forth between Jamie and myself. I blinked myself back to the present and saw that Jamie was waiting for me to pass him the ball.

“Got your head in the clouds today, ain’t ya,” he jabbed, his cocky smirk adorning his face.

I tried to force out a laugh kicking the ball back his way. “’Spose I do.”

Jamie seemed to notice my vacant mood and took the ball, kicking it around in a few tricks before responding.

“How as your date with that bantr bloke? Ryan or whatever?”

Oh, right. That too. It was Keely’s idea, of course. After returning from Man City, you had told her everything and how you were hopelessly, horribly, terribly infatuated with Jamie. And while she maintained that you should tell him, she also offered the idea of going on bantr dates to get him off my mind. What’s where Brian had come in.

“Brian? Oh yeah, he was great!” That was a lie. Brian was dull. Barely asking me a question the entire night and when he found out I worked for Richmond, he suddenly needed perked up and told me all about his long history with football. Suddenly, he thought that coming to a game would be a great second date. Suddenly, he was wondering if I could get him in for free. So no, Brian was not great. “I’m going out with this other guy… Ethan, tonight though.”

Jamie raised his eyebrows at me before shooting the ball back towards me. “Ethan, huh?”

“Yeah… Ethan.” I kicked the ball back towards him, chewing on my cheek. “He’s an accountant, I think.”

“An accountant,” Jamie cringed. “What the fuck are you doing goin’ out with an accountant?”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “He seems nice! That’s all!”

Jamie kicked the ball up in his hands, starting to walk over to me. “Nice? That’s all?”

“Look, Jamie, I don’t exactly have a lot of choices.,” I pointed out, yanking the ball out of his hands.

“I just thought you could do better than ‘nice’ is all.” He held up his hands in submission. As we started out walk back inside, Jamie stared at the ground, his feet kicking the dirt as we went. “Where are you goin’?”

“Color Factor? It’s a dancing club not too far from here,” I told him. I wasn’t usually one to go dancing on a first date, but I thought it would be better to not actually be able to hear him talk. Afraid of a repeat from the night before.

“An accountant is taking you to a dance club?!” Jamie asked, stopping outside the door.

We finally made it into the locker room as the other lads were beginning to show up. I headed to my desk in the corner of the coach’s room. Ted and Beard were having an intense staring contest when I entered. I snapped my fingers, in front of Beard’s face causing him to blink.

“DAMMIT! (Y/N)!” He shouted, smacking his desk.

“I could see the dust settling on your pupils,” I told him, slouching down into my chair.

Ted checked his watch with a large smile. “That was a new record for me! Thank you for the assist, (Y/N).”

It was nice having Ted and Beard as friends. It was different from my relationship with the boys or even with Roy. Sure, they were older, but they respected me in a way I hadn’t experienced before. They didn’t care that I was younger or that I was a girl, to them I was just their equal.

“So! Tell us about Brian,” Ted asked, putting his head in his hands and blinking cutely.

“He was fine, the conversation was a bit one sided,” I admitted, shrugging. “When I mentioned I worked here he started asking for tickets.” Beard blew a raspberry and gave me a big thumbs down. “My thoughts exactly.”

“Well, that’s too bad,” Ted sympathized, giving me his best frowny face.

I gave him a flat smile in return. Training went well. It was good to be back in our routine, prepping for our normal competitors. Now that we had broken our tie streak, we had been doing pretty well. With Roy on our staff, it really felt like we had our groove going.

What wasn’t grooving though, was Nate’s sudden confidence boost. If confidence was what you could call it. Some might call it arrogance, but I was not one to judge. Ted paired us together today to work with the lads. The starting mids and forwards. So, Jamie, Danny, Colin, and Richard to name a few.

We set up a few drills for them to preform to strengthen their endurance as well as their aim while moving. It was a maneuver where they had to move to the left while shooting to the right. Nothing too terribly difficult but it required a good amount of coordination and precision. After another stumble by Richard, I blew my whistle signaling them to stop. I was about to turn to Nate to say something, but he stepped forward before we could confer.

“Richard! Have you lost your ability to run at high speeds?” He shouted, approaching the boys. “Has your right leg fallen off and grown back as a second left food?”

“No, my legs are gorgeous, as always,” Richard retorted, kicking his foot in the grass.

“Well, you could have had me fooled,” Nate spat back. “This is simple football, next time I see you stumble you’ll be running laps for the rest of practice.”

Richard frowned, his face darkening in disappointment. The rest of the boys looked uncomfortable as well. None of them were achieving well in the practice and the thought of being bereted for learning a new skill is never good. I knew I had to step in.

“Alright, Nate.” I placed my hand on his shoulder and pulled him back lightly. “Richard, you’re second guessing yourself before you make the pass. It’s causing your footing to be misplaced.” I began to show him the footing myself, step, cross, step, kick. Richard watched intently. “You need to really land that step before the kick, that’s where the power comes from.”

I looked over the group of boys, looking for any signs of questioning among them. They all stared unwavering at me, really listening to what I was saying. My eyes eventually landed on Jamie. He, of course, was having no issue with the exercise. Though, that may be, in part, due to me showing it to him during one of our early morning practices together. But, in this instance, I helped for a teaching moment.

“Jamie!” I called out to him. “Why don’t you show them your technique.”

“I think you should do it,” He responded quickly, quirking his eyebrow at me. “You’re the expert.”

I opened my mouth to shoot back a quick response but quickly closed my mouth into a straight line. He knew I was dying to show off my football abilities. He knew I was capable. He knew I was the best one to show them. I heard a scoff to my left and knew it was the unbelieving thoughts of Nate coming out. Jamie shot him a quick glance before locking his eyes with me again, and quirking his slitted eyebrow at me, challenging.

“Okay.”

I stepped forward and took control of the ball in my dribble. Passed the ball over to Jamie to assist and started to jog right before quickly changing direction and heading left. Jamie passed the ball heading towards the right of the field. As it came towards me, I focused on my footing. Step, Step, Cross, step and… kick! I sent the ball through the air without missing a step, sending it flying towards the right side of the goal and landing with a swish. The boys behind me rushed me with cries of celebration. As if I had just scored the winning goal of a match. I couldn’t help the giddy laugh that left me as they jumped on me.

Through the celebration huddle, however, I saw Nate, unmoving from his spot near the sidelines of the field. The scathing look of underlying anger was enough to send anyone running. I started to frown but then Jamie’s face filled my view. His smiled was so blinding I almost had to look away. But I couldn’t. ‘I told you so’ was written all over his smug face as he clapped along with the lads. Man, I loved it here.

…

I felt good going into my date. I was riding the confidence wave from the day into the club. I was early, of course, as I always am, and I went up to the bar to wait for him to arrive. It was still pretty early in the night so not many people were there yet. I sent a quick text to Keely letting her know I had arrived and was okay. She sent me a quick reply letting me know she knew I looked gorgeous and that it was going to be great!

“Can I get you something?” The bartend behind me asked, washing a cup.

“Oh! No thank you, I’m waiting on someone!” I explained to him taking a seat on one of the stools. He nodded and walked off.

But then 8 o’clock came around and he didn’t show. Then 8:10, and 8:30 and no word. I refreshed my messages on the app, looking for any sign of why he wasn’t here yet but there was nothing. Every now and then the bartend would come back to ask me if I wanted to order anything, but I insisted on waiting.

Eventually I sent him a message asking him if everything was alright. Read, no reply. Fuck.

Around 9, the bartender placed a drink in front of me.

“What is this?” I pulled the drink towards me, not really waiting for an answer.

“It’s on the house,” he told me, a sympathetic look on his face. “Sorry about your dude.”

Ah! Love a good sympathy drink. But at this point, I was too frustrated to care and took a long sip of the drink. The club was becoming more packed with people and the music was turning up. I took one last look at my phone, begging for him to say something, but nothing ever came so I decided it was time to go.

I downed the rest of my drink, thanked the bartender, and hopped off my stool. I had almost made it out when I heard a voice call my name from behind me. It was so loud so I couldn’t quite make out the owner of the voice, so I looked around trying to see where it was coming from.

Out of crowd, Jamie fucking Tartt appeared. He had his hair down and was wearing a Hawaiian shirt on that was open to about halfway down his chest and God did he look amazing. I hate to fight to make sure my eyes didn’t roam down his body as he approached me.

“Jamie? What are you doing here?”

“You mentioned it earlier, so I wanted to check it out.” He shrugged, bringing his beer bottle to his lip. “You look fit, where’s the bloke you’re with?”

“Oh!” I looked around like I was trying to find him. “He’s… uh, oh right! He didn’t show up so I- “

“He what?” Jamie practically spit out his drink at me. “He didn’t come?”

I tried to play it off like I was cool, but I could feel the embarrassment heating up in my cheeks. Jamie was the one person I didn’t want to see right now. He looked so fucking good, and it was making it very hard for me to focus on anything except his gorgeous face.

“Yeah, uh… it’s been like… an hour,” I told him, trying to sound unbothered. “So, I was just heading out.

“Well, that’s stupid of him,” Jamie snorted.

I waved him off. “No! It’s fine! I’m fine. It’s all fine! I’m just gonna go home. I need to get rest anyways… got training tomorrow, ya know? Shouldn’t have even come in the first place. I mean like! Ahh! It’s so crazy, are you hot, it’s really hot in here?”

Jamie stared at me while I rambled until I eventually tapered off into an uncomfortable silence.

“You should come with us,” Jamie finally said.

“Us?”

“Yeah, I’m here with Isaac, Colin… uh, I think Dani is here as well.” He turned and pointed into the dance floor where, somewhere, the rest of the lads were. “They’d love to have you join us.”

“I don’t know, Jamie… I’m not… I’m not sure if I’m feeling up to it,” I admitted, looking towards the door.

“Please.” He reached out to turn me back to face him. “You look fit as fuck and you deserve to come have some fun with us.” Now my face was flush for sure. If it wasn’t the heat, it was the fact that Jamie was touching me and calling me fit. I bit my lip as I weighed my options.

His hand slide down to my hand as he started to pull me into the crowd. “Look, if you stay and, somehow, you don’t have fun, you can blame me later, alright?”

I let him pull me, finding a smile coming back over my face. He looked so excited as his hand gripped mine, pulling me through the throngs of people. I felt myself getting swept away in him and for a second I let myself. I squeezed his hand.

“Fine, fine, let’s do it.”

He cheered and turned around, not letting go of my hand and started leading me through the crowd. Eventually, we came into a smaller opening where Isaac and Colin were dancing. Dani wasn’t too far away, two women dancing quite close to him.

“Lads!” He called out, pull me up to stand next to him. “Look who I found!”

The boys cheered when they saw me. Raising their beers and various other drinks towards me.

“(Y/N)!” Colin cried, coming forward to hug me. Jamie finally let go of my hand to let me go to him and suddenly, I felt very cold. “So, glad to see you here!”

Luckily, they didn’t ask too many questions about what I was doing there, and Jamie didn’t give anything away. In face Jamie stayed by my side practically the whole night. Just for tonight, I decided to let him be mine. All his attention was on me as we dance with each other. Finding myself getting pressed closer and closer to him as more people entered the dance floor.

Throughout the night, the boys made sure I had a good time, suppling me with drinks and not allowing me to pay. But Jamie kept special attention to me. He constantly was making sure I was okay and warded off anyone who tried to approach me.

His eyes being on me felt so surreal. Like somehow, all those emotions that had bubbled over last week were being cleared up in his gaze. At some point, someone bumped me into him, I found myself falling into him.

“Woah!” He helped me steady myself, his hands falling on my waist mine on his chest. I looked up at him, my mouth suddenly going dry. “You alright?”

I couldn’t speak so I just nodded and pulled my hands from his chest. But his lingered on my waist as he started to sway to the music. My eyes were big as I looked up at him and he looked down at me. He was so close to me; it would be so easy for me to lean up and kiss him. The liquor in my system definitely was egging me on as my hands landed on his biceps, God had they always been so solid? My eyes darted down to his lips and a smirk came over his face. For an instant we were leaning into each other, and the music was fading away.

When suddenly, a hand was on my shoulder yanking me away from Jamie.

“(Y/N)! I love this song!”

I was going to kill Colin. But he didn’t seem to notice my glare as he started dancing to the song that was playing. I looked back at Jamie, who wouldn’t look anywhere near me, and felt my heart sink.

Maybe we really weren’t meant to be.

…

The night was pretty much over after that. Jamie ended up driving all of us home and we piled into his car. I ended up in the back with Colin’s head on my shoulder as he took us throughout the city dropping us off.

Finally, though it was just the two of us.

“I’m sorry, by the way, about Ethan.”

Oh, that! I had forgotten about that.

“It’s whatever.” I shrugged, slumping down in my seat, suddenly very intrigued with the window buttons. “Nothing I’m not used to.”

Jamie chewed on his thumb as he considered my words. “What’s that mean?”

“I mean,” I let out a long breath. “I’m just like that, I guess. Not people’s type?” When Jamie didn’t say anything, I continued. “Brian just liked me for my job, Ethan probably showed up got one look at me and left and you-" I caught myself, almost saying too much to the wrong person. I was surprised at my own candor, chalking it up to the alcohol in my system. “I’m just saying people don’t like me like that. That’s how it’s always been.”

It was silent for a while after that, and I felt myself falling asleep to the steady rumble of the road. Eventually we pulled up outside my apartment building. I sat up in my chair, rubbing my eyes.

“I think that’s stupid,” Jamie finally spoke.

“Huh?”

“I think that’s stupid,” he repeated, looking over at me. “That you think that.”

I frowned. I hadn’t meant to upset him. I had just learned to lower my expectations when it came to romance to save myself a lot of pain.

“Jamie, it’s nothing personal.” I found myself unable to meet his eyes. “I just know what to expect now.”

“Well, I think you deserve fucking lightening.”

I snapped my head back over to him. He was looking at me earnestly, a soft frown lining his cheeks. Suddenly, I was much more sober and knew that if I didn’t leave now I wouldn’t be leaving the car at all.

“Thank you, Jamie,” I decided on, speaking softly. “Thank you for everything… tonight.” I let myself sit in his car for a moment longer before tearing my face away from him. “I’ll um… I’ll see you tomorrow morning, right?”

That made Jamie smile. “I’d like to see you try and beat me hung over.”

“I’ve done it before,” I laughed, opening the car door. “Don’t count me out!”

“I never do,” he replied, sincerely.

That dumb butterfly began fluttering up in my stomach again.

“Goodnight, Jamie.”

“Goodnight, (Y/N).”

And with that, I closed the door and watched as he drove off down the street.

Taglist: @heletsmelovehim @higherthanheroes @ajax-petropolus-wife @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @optimisticsandwichgladiator @kno-way-home @sleepy-time

as always, send me an ask, leave a comment, let me know what you think!

#jamie tartt #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt fanfiction #ted lasso #ted lasso show #enemies to lovers #angst #eventual fluff

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cult-of-the-eye · 8 months

Text

Mag 81 A Guest for Mr Spider

FUCK FORMER HEAD ARCHIVIST

Wait I need to check the timelines - this was 2 days after leitner's death

New spooky music???

My man is so fucking dramatic I love him so much "grand of sand behind my eye" love the way he speaks

Yeah FUCK JURGEN LEITNER

Omg the greying hair is canon??

Child in the 90s makes him at most 27 GOD DAMN. I was imagining like mid 30s...can you imagine a fucking 27 yr old using words like "ilk" when talking to you

Oh shit he's an orphan poor guy

Yeah ok a lot of his personality seems to make sense if you realise he was raised by his grandma

You know those memes that are like people raised by their grandparents are exceptionally polite but in a brisk way, talk fancy and are super posh? Yeah that's him.

Getting such neurodivergent vibes

Yeah he sounds like a main character from the start Jesus Christ he's such a kid who got traumatised and then grows up to be a horror protagonist vibes

My First Leitner lol like kids had to be introduced to them at a young age like those my first toys

He's so funny I can just imagine him as an 8 yr old getting super like affronted at this like how dare my grandma think I am of subpar intelligence he's such a little bitch from the start

"The eponymous Mr spider" even talking about his childhood trauma he's busting out the vocabulary

Fuck that story actually kinda rattled me I had my hand over my mouth in shock for most of it

I think it was the bit where the horsefly brought his son and they were both crying that got me, I could definitely imagine it scaring an 8 yr old

The way it drags out as well, with the pages of the same scene it really heightens the suspense

Is his childhood bully someone we should keep track of?? Love how he says Michael probably cause he sees him as a bully lol

It's interesting how despite him bullying him (quite badly seeing as though he beat him up) he's still like yeah but he saved my life and that means he deserves to be remembered

My bro didn't save your life on purpose, he was just trying to make it worse and happened to come to a terrible fate cause of that

I guess underneath it all he was still a kid who watched someone die, knowing they'd get eaten by a fucking spider, he still held him in some regard

The way he specified the guy was his bully even after he was being eaten though lol

He was desperate to get the book back? That's a leitner thing I guess, the book makes you want to keep it so it can finish whatever it wanted to do to you

On my relisten (which I will do once I've finished the series I'm sure of it), I'll have to look out for any reaction of leitners name

I wonder why Jon didn't react more to Carlos vittery's statement, like it must've terrified him? I saw a post a while back explaining Jon's thoughts and IT WAS GENIUS it was like of course he doesn't react, he must be terrified that someone knew about his experience and somehow did this to mess with him or it was a joke and he can't let anyone know that the Head Archivist is not Good at This ugh it's so good I'll tag it if I can find it

AHHHHH HE REGRETS DISMISSING THE OTHER STATEMENTS AHHHHHH

HE FINALLY ADMITS THAT HE NEEDS HELP WE LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES YOU FUCKING DO BITCH.

yeah at least he's right about Elias killing leitner

GEORGIE THE EX GIRLFIEND

ITS SO WEIRD TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY NICE TO SOMEONE WOW HIS VOICE CHANGES SLIGHTLY AS WELL HES LESS ACADEMIC

THE ADMIRAL

Awwww he's so cute with georgie

GHOST PODCAST GHOST PODCAST

THE WHAT THE GHOST T SHIRT IS CANON???? AHH THATS SO CUTE

Can he not go back to his own flat?? Did he bring all his clothes to the archive and then subsequently leave them there? Does he even have a flat??

God Georgie is so nice I would kill for her

It's so funny that an apparent supernatural cynic dated a ghost podcaster

WOW SEASON 3 OFF TO AN AMAZING START I CANT WAIT TO KEEP LISTENING IM GONNA TELL MY THERAPIST ABOUT THIS TOMORROW!!!

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #jarchivist #a guest for mr spider #the web #tma season 3 #georgie barker #tma georgie #jurgen leitner #what the ghost #the admiral

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atxxzist · 1 year

Text

broken | c.s (09)

prev // next // series m.list

pairing: choi san x reader

word count: 11.4k

warning: brief smut scene, shitty writing here & there, pls stop reading immediately if anything makes u uncomfortable!

summer isn't anything like your school experience so far, which is a good thing.

instead of sticking to your dorm room or the cafe nearby all day, you at least went out; to lotte world when both of your friends wanted some thrills and proceeded to drag you through a near hell experience where you almost fainted from a ride and stayed beside mingi to nurture him after because he's still the same 'ole scaredy cat you know him to be, who gets easily nauseous.

they also took you to your first ever bar and ordered you a cocktail drink named after something you cannot remember, but it was all super extra and too sophisticated for your taste.

you might've gotten a tad drunk; the experience not at all like you imagined, and attacked mingi with a few kisses, though you have suspicions it wasn't all your doing considering mingi had been eyeing someone across the bar all night who was giving him the same coy look back.

but if you're to ask him, he'd probably just tell you it was nothing serious; just a one night thing. and maybe not exactly sexual but a couple flirty exchanges, that's it. you know how he is.

but the first few weeks of you guys running around like bachelors not tied to anything but just having fun comes to an end when minji called, finally able to free up some time to pay a visit to her boyfriend and friends she hasn't seen in a while.

yunho was the most happy and excited you've seen him ever since stepping on seoul's soils, when minji arrived at the dormitory and ran into his arms so fast, it made you sick to the stomach at how sweet the scene was.

she had planned an entire list of her own of things to do together and was elevated to reveal the first activity on that list much to your dismay, because you guys had already done something similar a couple weeks before.

"come on, guys! it's gonna be fun!" she cheers, arms wrapped around one of yunho's and jumping on the way to the lobby as both you and mingi trail from behind just a good amount of distance because the matching shirts the two has on makes you guys not want to associate yourselves.

"i could think of a million other things to do than go to another amusement park," mingi comments; his snarky tone causing minji to stop as she pulls yunho along, her head turning and shooting lasers toward said boy.

"you didn't even have to come!" she rolls her eyes.

"well, i wouldn't want y/n over here to be third wheeling the whole time."

it's your turn to roll your eyes, not at all fazed by the banter because you know it won't be the last one of the day, just wishing it will pass soon enough so you guys can make it there before the sun sets.

"pfft," minji brushes off, tugging you by the hand and making you stumble a few steps forward until you're pulled right next to her, shoulders touching.

"we are very inclusive!" she adds, and you shoot a rather simple smile in return, knowing the minute yunho does something cute or vice versa, you will be long forgotten.

"yeah, sure, whatever," mingi dismisses, reaching out for your wrist as you're thrown back next to him like a tossed ball. "but she's gonna need me if you're going to be dragging her through those scary rides."

minji scoffs. "i think you're the one that needs her."

for a moment, it looks like mingi's about to say something back, until his eyes fleet to something else in front of him; his towering height allowing him to see over the two.

"hey, yeosang!" yunho's the one to start, his attention on the boy long before any of you caught notice.

it's the way you snap your head so fast, only able to see half of his body as yunho's figure covers the other, but you don't miss the way his gaze skips over to meet yours, conjuring up a knot in your throat as you swallow it down.

you haven't seen him since that night, whether your schedules just differs now, or that you pretty much went out of your way to avoid him, it feels weirdly nostalgic and wrong seeing him again.

"hey!" he waves a bit awkwardly, but genuine in the sense he looks happy by the coincidence.

he has a bag over one shoulder and his hair is a little disheveled; skin also glistening that tells you he just came back from a pretty tough day at work.

"you came at the perfect timing."

"looks like it." he chuckles, and oh... you hate how deep and melodic it sounds. "you guys can go ahead. i'm just gonna put my things back and i'll catch up soon."

one of your eyebrows raise immediately at that.

"oh, it's fine. we can wait."

yeosang hesitates but eventually give in. "alright then, i'll be quick."

you wait until he's out of sight to say something, eager to confirm the suspicion.

"you invited yeosang?" you don't sound hostile or aggravated, just in complete awe.

"yes, just thought you'd enjoy some company. mingi's probably going to run off on you sooner or later."

mingi's face twist, offended at the accusation. you on the other hand, is completely cornered in this situation with no other way out, knowing you're going to have to be in kang yeosang's presence for the rest of the day.

unbelievable.

it takes two rides for mingi to decide he's had enough, and another one for you to follow in his footsteps, situating yourself next to him before stealing a quick gulp from the water bottle.

"hey, want to go into one of those mirror house? whoever makes it out last has to pay for cotton candy," he proposes.

"you are so childish," you wave off, holding in a tiny giggle. "i'm sure they have a height limit for those things."

"that's so fucking whack. they should have one for adults, cause maybe then we could actually be having some fun on the ground," he says, eyeing the gigantic and quite horrific ride in front of you guys.

"weren't you the one hauling ass about going to lotte world a few weeks ago?"

"well, yes, but that was before i threw up all over my fucking shoes."

you chuckle lightly, scoffing before rolling your eyes.

"over there," you say, nodding your head off to one of the booths. "go play a game or something. win yourself a stuffed animal, and maybe you can give it to the hottie that was at the bar."

he shoots you an unamused reaction.

"bitch, i literally told you it was nothing. and those things are hella rigged."

you don't retaliate with anything; only smile to yourself as you move your focus back to watch the movements in front, gaze trained on the way it swings back and forth, erupting sounds of muffled screams that could belong to either one of the three or maybe all.

it's when you feel mingi shifting in his spot that you turn to him, but his attention already on someone else: a new arrival whose face you've never seen before.

"ayyy, man!" says the stranger, hand colliding with mingi's for some bro handshake.

"hey! didn't think i'd run into you here," mingi replies, laughing off the chance of seeing a friend from school.

"how can i not? entrance is only a dollar today!"

mingi's laughter intensifies at the comment, nodding understandably. that was also the reason minji wanted to come. the park had the special deal only once a month during summer.

"want to tag along? me and some of the guys are just gonna be walking around, checking out some stuff and whatnot." he shrugs.

"ohh..." mingi lets out loosely, neck snapping to you with a delay in his expression. "actually, i came with my friend here and a few others."

he talks like he's informing his friend about why he cannot accept the offer, but it sounds a lot more like he's trying to save face because you're right next to him.

"oh, hey!" his friend suddenly bringing a hand forward to greet, finally grasping your presence all this time and realizing you're not just some random who happens to share a seat with mingi.

"mark. mark lee," he says; your eyes roaming his boyish features that makes him look rather cute.

"y/n," you reply simply with the smallest smile.

"i'm sorry. i didn't realize he's with you." mark rubs his neck awkwardly and even bows a little as an apology.

"oh no." you shake your head. "you two go ahead."

mingi exaggerates the pout on his lips. "aww, i wouldn't want to--"

"--go," you cut him off. "i'll tell the rest when they get back."

"well, if you insist..." he mumbles, standing up and flashing you that goofy smile of his, taking the empty bottle with him. "i'll see you later then."

"yeah, see you later."

"thanks, y/n," mark's the last to speak of the two, both bidding you a goodbye before disappearing into the crowd.

you could never be mad at mingi for simply being a social butterfly, reminiscing all the times in the high school he'd go off with his other group of friends because he made them easily.

whereas you're content only being around people you're very familiar with, mingi enjoys getting to know new individuals; expand his pool beyond just the small circle he's accustomed to.

he can't always be with you and yunho. you guys are a bit boring sometimes. but at the end of the day, he will always return, and the label "best friends" is reserved for none other than you two.

the ride finally comes to a stop shortly after; people getting off at the side and you search until you recognize the three of them, minji signaling with one of her hands up until something else pulls her attention away, fast to drag yunho along to one of the stalls selling some sparkling merchandise.

yeosang is stranded, unsure who to follow, eventually settling on you when he meets your eyes, his hands in his pockets as he make his way over.

"hey," he mumbles the greeting.

"hey," you reply back as casually as possible, like you weren't just dodging him earlier like he's the plague, sticking to mingi the entire time and avoiding any scenarios that would call for an interaction.

"mind if i sit down?"

you shake your head, scooting over to make some space.

he takes the seat, a small grunt leaving his lips as he does so, and both of you don't say anything, the silence consuming for at least a moment; eyes only observing the events happening around you guys.

"so... how was it? the ride," you ask, hesitant at first but feeling like you should try at least. that would only be the right thing to do considering the progress made before.

but it seems like every time you talk to him again, it's always a little awkward at first. you don't know if it's just a quirk that comes when you go from hating each other's guts to being able to somewhat stand the other's presence, or if it's just an effect yeosang has.

"not too bad. i expected more, honestly," he answers, tone lighthearted and a bit amused; just the right direction in order to get you out of your shell again.

"tskk." you hide a tiny smile, scanning over the ride just one more time. "good to hear, i guess."

"yeah. i think you would've enjoyed it, though. too bad you gave up after the third one," he teases, eyes straight forward and all casual as if he isn't trying to poke something.

"at least i made it to the third one. mingi gave up after the second."

he shrugs. "to be fair, it was a spinning teacup."

"we were barely even steering the wheel."

"the third one was a carousel, y/n."

"it was going in circle and making me dizzy!"

he chuckles, shaking his head along.

"you two really are one and the same."

you retract momentarily, not sure how to feel about the comparison to your best friend, but as different as you two are, you're also more alike than you'd think.

"speaking of mingi, where is he?" he searches the area before his gaze falls on you; the swell in them incredibly endearing.

"he went off with some of his friends from campus... the usual."

"and you didn't want to go along?"

"well, i couldn't just leave yunho."

you both immediately shoot to yunho and minji still by the merchandise stall as minji holds up a shirt to yunho's chest for sizing before she picks up a smaller one for herself.

"i think yunho's good," yeosang states the obvious, biting back the amused tone.

you sigh, cranking your neck to admire the night sky with yeosang imitating your posture before he looks at you, a question on the tip of his tongue.

"how's summer so far?"

you pry away to level his gaze, your eyelashes fluttering in motions staring into his own to what seems like forever until you can think of what to say back.

"very good. did you know that you can get a month's supply of free drinks if you complete a rather bizarre challenge?"

he laughs, eyebrows pinched together in confusion.

"i definitely did not. which place?"

"mhmm," you hum, trying to recall the memory of when you read the sign before going in, but unable to remember anything about the place other than it looked like every generic bar you've ever seen on the web but with red lightings.

"i'd have to ask yunho or mingi again, if you're interested."

"doesn't sound like my kind of thing, but i'd be down to see someone else do it."

you smirk, pulling away to inspect the sparks decorating the nightly sky once again, muttering a simple, "we'll see."

minji and yunho have moved to a different stall--one that looks like it sells jewelries; minji catching you in the mass when she turns back to check, waving the bracelet in her hold, and you react with a thumbs up before turning to yeosang's side profile in your view.

"have you visited your parents, yet?"

he nods, eyes lingering on yours and full of confidence as he holds the eye contact as if he plans to do it all night.

"yeah. the first week of break. how about you? thinking of paying your hometown a visit?"

you shake your head in response to the question, the more you think about it, the more you just feel sad. guilty.

you would honestly love to see your hometown again, why wouldn't you? it's where you grew up; lived your whole life, met your friends, and made so many memories.

but where and who would you go back to? your aunt and uncle aren't gonna be exactly excited to see you back, and you don't want to bother mingi's or yunho's family more than you already did.

there's nothing left there for you.

this is your home now; in the comfort of your two best friends who you hope will stick around long enough because you don't have anyone else.

"not any time soon, i don't think. mingi and yunho have other ideas, and then minji has a list of her own."

"i see," he acknowledges. "there's just never a dull moment with those guys, huh?"

"well, to start it off, we haven't even been here that long and i'm already stuck with you. make of that what you will."

"is that a bad thing?" he raises his pitch, but the delivery is playful.

"not at all," you assure.

the assumption that you need someone else by your side in case your best friends run off was ridiculous at first (though not out of reach), but now seeing for yourself that's exactly what happened, it's almost like they knew that would eventually be the case.

but at least yunho was considerate enough and had you in mind when inviting his roommate.

"okay, cool. you made it sound like being with me is some sort of punishment."

you snicker lightly.

"maybe. maybe not," you tease, quick to act aloof and shift your focus to yunho and minji as they grow farther away, completely forgetting the fact they didn't come alone.

but yeosang does a good job of keeping you occupied the way he always does. small comments, a few bickering here and there, and eventually playing catchup again, pouring in your curiosities about each other.

the night starts looking optimistic again just like that; together and carrying on conversations and exchanging gestures effortlessly, you realize there's two things you have forgot.

one being how easy talking to him is, and two being you're not suppose to be talking to him or even interacting by any means.

san only came because wooyoung wouldn't shut up about the once a month deal at an amusement park they have to go to.

after annoying each and every one he considers close to him, he gets san and seonghwa to show; hongjoong too busy even during summer to spare a day to spend with his friends.

he isn't on board at first, really would rather just be home and sleeping the night away, still able to feel some symptoms of his hangover from the day before.

but once they get past the entrance, he notices just how many familiar faces there are, it seems like this summer deal went around fast and just about everyone and their mothers are here.

the guy over there sitting down at one of gaming booths with red veins decorating his forehead, san knows him from biology. and just another couple steps forward that has already taken him to a completely different scene, is the redhead he got to know from one of wooyoung's parties.

then a left turn and three or four bodies pushing past him later, is you and yeosang seated at one of the bench, a bit shielded behind the railing of a ride and the walking of people, but he knows it's you.

that long, straightened hair that falls over your shoulders nicely onto your chest, and a pretty smile on your face while you chat with the boy next to you like you've known him forever.

he sees red; heels digging into the ground and stopping to watch the scene as his knuckles curl together.

"hey, man. you good?" seonghwa's voice take his attention briefly; san's eyes fleeting to meet his and nodding.

"yeah. just looking around for a restroom. hey, look, you two go ahead. i'll call or text after i'm done."

"alright..." seonghwa complies. wooyoung is behind him and skeptical about it all but nods nonetheless, watching as san walks away and pulls out his phone promptly.

you kick the air under the seat, swaying your feet back and forth, indulging in the hot summer breeze that glides past your skin; yeosang taking note of the act and once again mimicking you until one of his feet accidentally brushes against yours that earns him a glare, but he laughs it off.

yunho and minji came back once to ask if you guys wanted to look around the shops, but you kindly turned down the offer in order to recover from the dizziness that's still mildly present.

and for yeosang, sitting down and relaxing was a lot more appealing than following behind his friend and his girlfriend.

it's only a few seconds later that you let out a silent snicker, thinking back to the dinner where you guys played footsie under the table; the dynamic you guys had then entirely something else that it brings a subtle smile onto your lips when you think about where you two stands now.

the laspe of comfortable silence is broken when a buzz goes off in the beige crossbody bag you brought along, pulling it into view and grabbing for your phone. the drop in your expression would have yeosang believing you saw a ghost; the manner in which you pale instantly and a nervous gulp travels down your throat.

🟣: hey beautiful. is it okay if i come over tonight? miss you 💕

after you were told to stay away from san, and you, well... didn't, it's just too risky keeping his name even if the chance of mingi or yunho snooping your phone is low, you're not about to test your luck.

so you changed it, to something as simple as his favorite color. quite uncreative but that's the least of your worries.

"what's wrong?" yeosang's concerned tone brings you back, your head whipping up and thrusting the phone back into your bag.

if there's one thing (among others) you're awful at, it's being discreet and not being more incriminating than you already gave away.

"nothing," you reply, faking a faint smile but it's ineffective when yeosang raises a brow in turn, his body language questioning the authencity of your answer, but then who is he to interrogate?

"alright. well, you want to go look for yunho and minji? or is there something else you have in mind?"

"we can go look for them," you tell him, in which he nods, standing up to wait for you.

he leads the way and you trail just a little behind him, trying to shake the text out of your thoughts. you're here with your friends and you're suppose to be having fun. surely, you can answer san later and tell him you were busy.

but another part of you (the one that will truly be your demise) has an itch to answer him; tell him, yes, he can come over tonight. and though you saw him just yesterday, you already miss him as well.

because actually getting out of the comfort of your dorm and bubble you're used to isn't the only thing that has made your summer experience all more different than the school semester.

san has been so good to you lately. he doesn't leave right after sex nor tries to rid of you if it's at his place. he stays and lets you sleep on his chest; listening to the sound of his heart beating--such an intimate act that isn't sexual pricks your own heart in an entirely different way.

he'd tuck you in his arms and allow your head to rest on his shoulder when you're both watching a movie picked by him because you'd always let him choose, so eager to just know more about him and the things he like.

he'd even listen to you when you'd tell him about your day with your friends, and he'd nod and hum like he's digesting each of your words, it made you feel so happy, wishing he wasn't a secret you're keeping to yourself because you two only meet when no one else is around.

seeing yeosang is busy trying to spot the two, you take the chance to rummage for your phone, thumbs pressing the letters as fast as you can and shoving it back, catching yeosang at the perfect time when he whips his head around.

"found them," he announce, and you just nod, attempting to rid the apprehension on your face and hoping he doesn't take notice.

yunho and minji sees the two of you before you fully arrive, smiling warmly and ushering their hands to welcome.

"okay, good. we were just thinking about looking for you guys," says yunho.

the trip is over a lot faster than you had expected, unsure if it was because your brain was on autopilot for the remaining duration, or the fact the carousel once again brought upon a slight headache that probably messed up your sense of time.

being the only one of the bunch to live in the other building, you walk to your room after departing from everyone else, replaying the last conversation you had with yeosang about him going in to take his things and sleeping at another classmate's room for the night since yunho has minji over.

yuna isn't around, not for the usual reasons, but because she left for jeju only a week into summer break, having told you her family's also flying out to kyoto after.

you wished her a good time and joked about getting you a souvenir, but knowing how yuna is, there's a chance she's gonna do it.

feeling dirty and sweaty from the day, you grab a towel to go wash up at the shared shower room, drying your hair once you get back and putting on a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt.

you busy yourself with your phone, even going back to the message you sent san, which he only hearted but didn't reply to.

y/n: you can 😊 i'm just out rn but i will be back later

you wait and wait, eyelids falling more heavy and your blanket turning softer, you almost cave into sleep until a knock at the door gets you up so fast; an adrenaline that courses your body because it can only be one person.

"hi," you greet in a soft voice, growing shy at the man before you.

the quilt stitch sweater and jeans he has on make him look so handsome. but someone like san will always look good regardless of what he wears.

even his slightly messy hair as if he just woke up from a nap can't hide that; especially when he's bareface and flushed in the cheeks.

san gets red easily, and it's something you've noticed and absolutely adore; the color painting him as more pure and innocent.

"hey," he says smoothly, walking in as you back up for some space and waits for him to shut the door behind.

he does a once-over of your current state before one of his hands caresses at your moist hair.

"already showered?"

you nod.

"and you couldn't wait until we get it over with?" he tease with a sly tone, a smirk on his lips.

"you were taking too long."

he chuckles at your answer, expression eventually dwindling down to just a smile.

"it's okay. we can do something else tonight," he says, pausing slightly to think before continuing on. "how about a movie again? you up for that?"

"anything's fine," you agree, really just glad you're able to be with him.

"cool. well, i should probably take a shower first." his eyes bat away suddenly, landing on something else behind you.

"one of those towels yours?"

you confirm with a nod, turning around to retrieve it and handing it to over, a warm smile on him when he accepts.

"okay. you can pick what to watch. i'll be back."

he places a peck to your cheek before sliding himself out the door.

you felt awful about it at first, and you still feel awful about it to an extent--seeing san behind your friends' back when they warned you about just how awful the outcome of it will be, and you even gave them your words.

but after the first week or two of sneaking around with him, some of that feeling kind of just dissipated, replaced by the fear and anxiety of getting caught because you always had trouble lying to mingi and yunho. it just isn't you.

well... it wasn't you before san came into the picture.

but this lie, if it is to ever be discovered, you will not only be risking the friendship, but it will be near impossible to ever gain their trusts again.

for now at least, it won't hurt them if they don't know; though, you're not sure how long you can keep running around like this, but you figure you might as well go the full mile until you can't anymore.

from the previous movie nights you two shared, you learned that san likes a lot of superhero movies--something you didn't expect but intrigued you greatly, you even took time to learn their names and origins so you could talk with him about it and not be in utter confusion when he'd refer to someone or something.

you want to pick something he likes; something you know he'll be into, but worrying that you'll wind up picking such an incredibly lame superhero movie since you're not that knowledgeable about the genre, you decide to choose something you're more familiar with.

and because you're a bit of a hopeless romantic, you just have to settle for a romance flick.

"so, what is this film about?" san asks, still damped from the shower, sitting next to you and smelling of soap and shampoo.

you bite the side of your lips and hum out the thinking process.

"i'm not too familiar with the plot either, but i heard it's good."

he simply nods. "let's do it, then."

the movie plays on the laptop situated on both of your laps, and you nuzzle your head on his shoulder; the movie definitely is interesting and one you'd find yourself enjoying if you weren't so tired, still managing to process what's on the screen but not what's happening.

you don't even respond to some of san's comments because they completely fly over your head, but he doesn't seem to care, rather opting to laugh at your state.

but it's not his laughter or the loud fan overworking to rid the summer heat that jolts you awake. it's when you realize a quite explicit sex scene is happening--one you have no clues or ideas of how it came to be.

just that you're flustered in the face because this is the movie you chose to watch with san, and he has noticed your reaction immediately, unable to help the smirk that crawls out.

"if you wanted to do it, you could've just asked."

you release your head from his shoulder at that and scoff it off.

"i didn't even know the movie had one."

because no matter how many times you sleep with him, the subject will always catch you a little offguard; and especially when you weren't even thinking about it.

it's still san and he still makes you feel like a giddy school girl.

but although he enjoys the reaction, the one thing hanging on his mind ever since he saw you back at the park still hasn't left: yeosang.

why were you talking to him again, and why did you look so happy doing so? of course, the request was in the moment; him too jealous and taking his anger out on you, but so far, you seemed to have complied.

he don't think you saw anyone else besides him but your friends, because between the trip to his house and the nights he'd spend in your room, that was all you had to talk about.

he's not cruel enough (give or take) to keep tabs on you, and you also don't come off as someone who would lie to him because he knows you're always too sweet and too easy to persuade.

"where did you go earlier?" he asks, the abrupt question throwing you off as he just switches the topic of conversation like it's his nature. as if he doesn't know where you were, but he couldn't think of any other way to bring it up.

"i was with mingi and yunho, at that amusement park that had the summer deal everyone kept talking about."

your response is surprisingly relaxed, totally unprepared for the next question that leaves his mouth because after all, you have no idea he was there himself and saw you with his own eyes.

"just them?" he tries to keep from letting the bitterness slip, the image of you and yeosang once again consuming his thoughts.

"well, and yunho's girlfriend. she came to visit."

"hmm," he hums an unsatisfied tone and nods his head, not a single words uttered after, probably because he has a feeling sooner or later, you will slip up from the guilt--which is very much sooner.

"y-yeosang was there, too," you admit, maybe feeling slightly guilty but not to an extensive point because you didn't do anything wrong. not with yeosang. "yunho invited him along."

"oh..." san almost sang, mirth dancing in his eyes.

"yeah... we just talked and stuff."

and stuff. san would've laugh if not for the pang of jealousy that runs through his system at how vague you're being. if you're quite literally trying to protect whatever you have with this guy.

"and what do you think about him?" he lets the envy talk, not sure anymore about being discreet but just that he wants to know what you and yeosang have.

the fact you actually ponder the question for longer than you should is concerning, because the truth is, you have really warmed up to him, always skeptical at first but finding out there was nothing to worry about.

you feel comfortable being with him just as you'd feel being with mingi or yunho. in short, yeosang is a friend. yeah... he's like a friend to you at this point... you think.

"mingi and yunho really likes him, and he's been pretty good to me so far," you tell san, looking up at him and trying if you can read into his reaction but he just gives you those stiff eyes before following it with faint smirk.

"you like him?" one of his eyebrows quirk up, anticipation written all over them because he finds enjoyment in how you recoil immediately before shaking your head.

"not like that," you almost hissed, flustered san even asked.

and it may have sound a bit ridiculous to you, but for someone like san who has been around, he will say he has a pretty good grasp on what exactly girls find attractive, and he can say yeosang is a good looking guy.

he's just a tinier bit bulkier than him and definitely looks a lot more approachable with his softer features and probably nerd tendencies, because san is more of a one time thing, and yeosang is likely someone you'll be tied to for life. girls love that.

well... girls like you. which is why he won't be surprise if you have some kind of hots for yeosang with the amount of times you've been spending with him.

"he looks like he definitely has a crush on you." his gaze peers into yours for a stare down, because he's willing to bet yeosang shares some of the same sentiment back.

you're just way too sweet, soft-spoken, nice, pretty--

"not true," you deny. "we didn't start on good terms and had a lot of misunderstanding. we barely just started talking to each other normally not that long ago."

"so you don't like him at all? not even in a i-kind-of-wanna-kiss-you way?"

you shake your head, this time more aggressive than the one before.

"no. why? you sound like you want me to like him."

he chuckles, the utter puzzlement on your face too cute for its own good, the jealousy and bitterness from before dissolving at that.

"just want to make sure, baby," he coos, pulling you into his arms and wrapping them around your body warmly, the side of your face hitting against his chest; the thump of his heartbeat in your ear.

"want to make sure i'm the only one on your mind," he repeats as you draw back to gawk at him, tracing the innocent smile decorating his lips.

"i'm sorry that i didn't tell you sooner about yeosang," you apologize, your eyes so pure and full of sincerity--such a contrast to his that holds a million other intentions behind them.

"it's fine. i know now," he affirms, and you're just glad it's over with, because though you can't really understand why he doesn't like yeosang (also because there's nothing to worry about when it comes to your feelings for him), you wouldn't want to upset san.

a silence sit between you two after, a stare off ensuing as you keep your gaze up and sniff the freshly showered scent from him that sneaks past your nose again.

"would you like to go on a trip?" he asks, snapping you out of the trance.

"a trip?"

he confirms with a nod.

"a trip out of the city."

the excuse you managed to come up with was that the school you're working for has a summer program and you're gonna be away for a while; the lie slipping out of your mouth so fast, it's sickening how it's almost a habit at this point.

having told them you will be gone for a week (because that's how long san said the trip is gonna be), you encouraged them to carry out the rest of the plans on minji's list without you.

it was hard to look them in the eye when they cheered you on and wished you the best because you won't be taking a cab to the school but to the boy who promised you a week of fun somewhere out of the city he still hasn't told you the name of.

he only brought a lone duffel bag, throwing it into the back of his car before helping you with your rusty suitcase that is rather light since you figured you can just recycle a few outfits. it's not like you have much to choose from.

even when you're sitting right next to him in his car, eyes sticking to his side profile as he starts driving, it still feels like a very vivid dream--being with him in a place that isn't your dorm or his apartment.

the very fact he asked you to come is mind-boggling as it is, but it's no use to linger on the thought; just be happy for the opportunity and enjoy the moment while it lasts.

he warns you ahead of time that it's going to be a long drive; no words on how long exactly, but long.

the conversation is tame, a few comments from him here and there as he passes a couple places he frequents before turning the music on. and you would be lying to yourself if you haven't thought of it before--what kind of music does choi san like and listens to?

it's not much and is very bland in comparison to the backlog of questions you wish you could ask him, but you believe someone's music taste can tell a lot about a person, their preferences, and even your compatibility.

it's not a secret you look at san through a rose-coloured glass and still do, wondering to yourself if he listens to some exquisite genre you've never heard of before just because he's choi san and anything in relation to him will always amaze you.

but after all, he's still just a guy. a really hot and attractive guy who is somehow giving you the time of his day, but knowing he doesn't listen to some hidden genre only people like him would know makes him a little more reachable, relatable; that in some ways, he's also like you.

it's a mix of trendy pop and ballad songs that you know the lyrics to if you're to sing along. but when san said it's going to be a long drive, he wasn't kidding.

you knock out halfway, the memory of mumbling the lyrics to a girl group song the last thing you remember before it goes black.

when san wakes you up later, you have no idea where you are. just that the sky is turning dark and you're parked at what looks to be a small neighborhood, able to spot about three houses down the street.

"you good?" san speaks, your head snapping to him before nodding, at the same time attempting to fight the tiredness.

he smiles at your exhausted state, unbuckling himself from the seat.

"we can start heading out and get our things," he tells you before opening the door and you follow behind shortly after, unable to help the awe that leaves you when observing the surrounding now that you're not just seeing it through the window of the car.

a clear street in the middle of a couple houses that are all white but has slight brown roofings; the style and the trees in the area makes you feel as if you've entered an enchanted forest that holds a series of cottages.

it's only when san unlocks the back that you finally pry away from the scenery, walking over to where he is to get your suitcase.

"where are we?" you ask.

"namhae," he answers with a proud smile on his face, shutting the trunk.

"namhae?" you repeat, having heard of the place before somewhere in one of your classes in high school or something. it's a coastal region, you also remember that.

"yes," he confirms as you follow behind him to the door, watching as he pulls out a few keys that's stringed together. "my dad was born here."

you twitch in interest at the revelation, following him into the inside of the house that is a bit misleading and not at all decorated like a fairytale, but in rather simple and clean white. from the walls to the marble flooring, and even the ceiling fan hanging above the big open space.

"you can put your things upstairs. the bedroom should be to the right. i'm just gonna check the back real quick."

you follow what he tells you to, trailing up the spiral staircase into the small indoor balcony overlooking the living room protected by a white railing.

the bedroom is also simple and follows a similar color scheme, two nightstands on each side and a medium-sized dresser right across the bed.

a window with curtains is the only other thing in the room, and everything looks entirely new, not a single sheet wrinkled, as if the place has never been used before. you think about how san even got the place, if it's an airbnb though you don't see a host around. but then, you've never had an experience with an airbnb so how would you know.

by the time you're done unpacking and stuffing your clothes into the dresser, you still haven't heard anything from san.

you go back down the stairs and head for the sliding glass door, a stylistic choice that is completely different from the front, taking yourself out into the air of the evening, amazement befalling you once again just at the new sight.

san is leaning on the fence overlooking the view ahead of him, and you start making way over, stepping around the pool because he seems to have already taken notice of you the second you closed the door.

once you settle next to him, your breath is taken away instantly. you can see the ocean from here; the waves hitting against each other and producing a sound surprisingly soothing to the ear. it's beautiful.

it just hits you the house is built on a hill, the way it looms over the landscape and looks at it from above.

"i haven't been here in such a long time," he says, your eyes batting to him.

"it's really beautiful," you add.

"it is."

you both admire the sight for a few seconds too long, the cool air from the ocean flowing to mix with the warmer one, creating a sea breeze that sweeps your hair away and make you shiver with how the cold pricks your skin.

"we should probably head back inside. i still have some unpacking to do."

you nod, taking note of the orange tone painting the sky along with a deeper blue as everything falls into an ambient darkness.

the first day in namhae spent settling in and familiarizing yourselves with the environment (even san because he hasn't been here in a while), wandering the interior of the house while he sorts out his things upstairs.

when finished, he urges you to wash yourself and go to bed early, informing you of the day waiting ahead tomorrow.

and after he's done following the routine as well, plopping down on the bed as you observe his movements, it comes so naturally that he sleeps facing you, a smile on his lips that makes something deep in your stomach sink.

if this is okay--being with san like this and in such a way that's different from any others--yet, you still can't help but to also feel a small amount of happiness from it all.

"goodnight," he whispers, lounging forward to set a kiss on your forehead.

"goodnight," you reply, a small smile on that dims along with the nightlight he turns off.

you're alone when you wake up; san isn't next to you and it's quiet, no other signs that he could be downstairs or in another part of the house.

the sun peeks through the blinds and hurts your eyes, having to squint the brightness away before you head with soft steps out into the small space that is barely a hallway and into the bathroom to make yourself more presentable for this fine morning.

you thought he might be out in the back but he's also not there, deciding to busy yourself with preparation for breakfast instead, but only met with disappointment when you open the fridge to nothing; a deep sigh leaving you followed by the creak of the front door.

"hey," he greets in a high-pitched voice, delighted by your figure standing in the kitchen.

"good morning," you say in a sweet tone, doing a once-over of him in his usual casual wear with dark parted hair, face bare and skin flaming that red tint that makes him so cute.

"i just went for my morning jog and talked to a couple neighbors from around the block. they seem nice."

you smile and nod.

"i see. i was just about to make breakfast but there isn't anything in the fridge, it looks like."

is it weird to assume a place you just checked into last night would have all kinds of fresh ingredients layed out for you? you have no idea.

"oh, yeah," he exclaim, "i haven't stocked up on it, yet. was planning on doing it today. we can hit the store after i change out of my clothes?"

you nod again, almost too eagerly.

"yes, we can do that."

it might just be your infatuation and lovesick mind speaking, but san even makes such a mundane task like shopping for grocery, enjoyable.

watching as he just so casually strolls into one of the aisles and pick up something from the shelves, you wonder how it's possible someone like him just walk around breathing and looking like that everyday.

"do you like rolled omelette?" he asks.

"i love rolled ommelete."

it was pretty much a staple for you back then. didn't require much and was fast and simple to make, though you did went through a period of withdrawal from it because sometimes, that would be the only thing you ate for days.

"cool."

he grabs a few other essentials but tells you if there's anything missing, you guys can just order delivery or maybe visit a nearby restaurant. it's only when he already finished paying for everything that you realize all this time, you haven't done jackshit to help him.

"how much was it? we can split the bills," you offer on the way to the car.

he chuckles, almost laughing loudly.

"my treat, y/n. don't worry about it."

but all this time, he's been doing and paying for everything, the guilt is not easy to shake off.

"but i feel bad." you frown, and he smirks at the adorable act that just comes so effortlessly to you, he don't even think you're aware of the possible hold you have on him.

"then you cook," he says with something mischievous and playful but also flirty, "i know you're probably good at it."

you take up the alternative, making yourself comfortable in the kitchen while he goes in and out of it, always spewing comments that would make your heart leap inside your chest with his flirty smiles and hands that find its way around your waist and every other parts of your body like it was made to be there.

he eats with you at the counters and won't stop gushing out compliments as if you just made the most complex dish out there and absolutely nailed it.

your reaction is a combination of rolling your eyes, telling him he's being dramatic, and battling the shy smile at his words that truly makes you feel so giddy on the inside.

you're absolutely adorable, he thinks. it's a bit crazy how long he's gone without touching you when he's had every chance to; when you're laying yourself out like this, he just wants to make you feel good the best way he knows how to.

which is why the following day, after walking around the neighborhood together and watching a couple older films, he suddenly suggests the idea of going to the pool.

"i don't know how to swim," you confess, which he just chuckles in return.

"i'll teach you. it's humid as fuck, we might as well put the thing to use."

"i didn't bring anything to wear for the occasion, though."

"what you're wearing is fine," he alludes to the crop top and shorts you have on. "unless you want to change into something even more revealing?" he smirks, not the slightest doubt that you'll look sexy as fuck in a bikini or swimsuit. but this will do, considering how hard you made him this morning just seeing your top ride up to display your stomach.

"i'm good," you say, even giggling a little before he sweeps you away by the wrist out into the back, the temperature a lot cooler due to the ocean breeze but that still doesn't mean you can't dip your toes into the pool. and that isn't going to stop san, either.

the dark hour is lit up by the hanging outdoor lights and the inground ones close to the fences.

"come on." he rips his shirt away while you gawk, jumping into the pool and making splashes, the sound of his body plunging into the pressure loud against the quiet night.

a smile tugs on your lips at the sight and you settle for sitting down on the edge instead, sinking half of your legs into the water that is surprisingly a lot warmer than you had expected.

you watch him go a few rounds across the pool before he lands right back to where he was, hair and face now wet, facing you.

"you can do more than that." he swipes a handful of hair back while saying so, proceeding to stare at your feet underwater kicking only slightly.

he's hot as fuck and his body will always amaze you no matter how many times you see it.

"i'll just watch," you say.

he pouts and tilts his head to the side, in hope you'll feel guilty enough to give in.

"it's not that deep," he adds onto the convincing.

but seeing how the water stops just short of his shoulders, there's a good chance you'll be spending your time in there choking because you're so much shorter than he is.

you're just about to say something when the sudden wetness felt on your face and drenching your clothes stop you. san is smirking as one of his hands continue to flick the water at you, and you pause momentarily before kicking the water under your feet at a much harsher speed towards him.

he's the one to laugh first and you follow after, your laughters bunching together to create a heartfelt moment that warms you unlike any other interactions you've ever had with him.

"alright alright. i'll come in," you give in, sending just one last kick of water to his face that makes him giggle.

you spring in carefully until almost your entire body is wet, and well, you were right. it comes up to just a little above your chin, treading carefully until san finally takes the initiative, both his grip on your hips and helping you withstand the possibility of swallowing a few drips.

"you good?" he asks.

"yeah," you reply, but you hold onto his shoulders just in case, checking the area around, grunting when he pulls you into his chest that gets you to blink up.

he looks unreal in this lighting that only makes his skin glow more from the pool water.

"how about now?" he whispers, that seductive and teasing color in his voice that always make you shutter in excitement.

"good," you answer all innocent eyes and with a sweet tone but you've been wanting him as much as he's been wanting you.

the days and times of being with each other, doing everyday tasks and even sleeping side by side at night, and it's now that choi san is half naked and in a pool that you think you're ready to have sex with him again.

it's a short stare off until his hands creep to the sides of your face and he takes your lips in for a deep kiss, the grip you have on his shoulders tightening along with the intimate act.

he kisses you like it's going to be the last time, like he's trying to savor the taste so he can remember it for the rest of his life.

your hands fall from his shoulders to his bare chest, your fingers drawing messy patterns on it, and he removes one hand to circle your waist in order to pull you up when he feels you faltering into the water.

he draws back after a few more seconds and looks you in the eyes.

"do you want to?" the question always foreign to his tongue, having never asked anyone but you before.

"yes."

"then i should probably head back to get a condom."

you shake your head and prevent him from going, the itch between your legs now speaking.

"you can pull out?"

ever since the first time you guys had unprotected sex, there's been two or three other similar instances--san having told you how much better it feels, but condoms is still a priority.

the topic of birth controls come and go. he didn't pressure you or anything, just subtly suggested it, but that's still just a consideration for now.

he can't help but to smirk, not at all going to resist because there's absolutely no way he will let up the offer of fucking you raw.

"you asked for it, baby," he leans to whisper into your ear, pulling back in amusement at the light tint across your cheeks, growing hard from thinking about sex in the pool--one of the places he haven't done the deed in--yet. and the rest of the night is history.

he fucks you in the pool, your hands hanging onto the edge as he takes it from behind, and he fucks you one more time in the shower when you two go to wash off the chemical.

it's by far one of the most amazing sex you've ever had with him; if not, the most amazing for sure.

by the end of the night when you're both trying to sleep away the exhaustion, a dull pain resides in the deep of your chest staring at his closed eyes and unmoved lips.

the glass of wine in your hand looks like it's on the verge of spilling from how loose you're holding onto it while laughing at something san said.

he's laughing too, but you can't see his expression well due to the darkness; the only source of lights being the two scented candles he had lit up standing on the coffee table.

there's a jazz song playing quietly in the background, and everything about the scene and situation feels like it was taken straight out of a romance film.

you're mostly just tipsy while san is probably drunk, having drank more than you and is a lot more bubbly than he usually is, recounting stories he most likely wouldn't tell you if he was sober.

"that's crazy," you comment.

"it is," he says, taking another sip from his glass.

but whether he's more drunk than you or not, the alcohol is doing a good job of loosening the both of you up; questions running rounds in your head again that you might act upon.

"hey, san..." you mumble.

"yes?"

"were you born here?"

he shakes his head.

"my parents moved to seoul before i was born."

and because san is most definitely drunk, he's also more willing to answer them.

"do you have any siblings?"

"i have an older sister, but she's now living in the states. no longer here in korea."

"oooh," you sing, afraid you might be pushing the boundaries but your tipsy mouth a lot bolder and less fearful of the consequences.

"what do you like to do? what are your passions?"

you've thought about it before, and you still do. aside from being a walking wet dream, who is choi san? what does he like to do, what are his fears, his dreams, things he likes or dislikes? what makes him the person that he is?

it's like you know him, but you also don't, since most of the things you do know are very surface level.

"i'm not sure," is all he says, a small sigh of disappointment escaping from you that goes unheard. "i wanted to major in dance and performance, but..."

"but?"

"but i can't make a living or lifestyle out of it. so i didn't."

you frown at the pessimism.

"but you should still do what you enjoy, no?"

and he just laughs, downing another sip as you stare at him, the light in your eyes slowly dying. being drunk means he's also going to be a lot more honest; blunt.

"i just don't see the point in doing so if it isn't going to be worth it. i'm not gonna spend four years only to get a useless degree, no matter how passionate i am about the hobby."

you can't help the dejection that possesses you at his words.

“even if i answer, it won’t matter.”

you wonder if this is how he views the world--brushing aside things he sees that has little importance, and not trying when the outcome isn't going to benefit him.

you can be a bit of a pessimist at times, but if there's an opportunity, you think it's always worth trying. life is so much more than running away and not taking chances, but that could also just be you clinging onto anything because you've had nothing for so long.

"don't let it bother you too much," he snaps you out of your thoughts after the sadness that pierced your eyes become overwhelming.

he puts the glass that is now empty onto the table.

"i'm gonna go wash up."

along the things you brought on the trip, you also managed to squeeze in your notebook, taking it out silently under the clothes where you have buried it when you see san is fast asleep.

you take the chance to use your phone as lighting, jotting down an entry before sliding the book back to where you got it from.

entry #7

talking with san today made me really think... is it hopeless and not worth it if you can't be sure of the result? i don't know. i was definitely scared when i finally took up on yeosang's suggestion and talked to a counselor, opting out of a major i'm no longer passionate about in order to go into creative writing. maybe that's cowardice of me to not give it another chance, but i'd like to think i'm trying, by exploring my interests and opening the door to something i might enjoy doing.

san wanted to take you out to the local market after having spent most of your time indoor.

there's many vendors all around, some kids running through the streets and parents behind shouting their names. it's very lively that it's quite pressuring because you're not sure where to start.

"we can shop for something to cook for dinner?" he asks, glancing back at your figure behind him.

"yes, we can do that."

you follow him the entire time, going from vendor to vendor and letting him do his thing since he's more familiar with the place and people--of which there's a lot, some even brushing past your shoulders due to how crowded it is (also doesn't help that the place is quite small).

san tells you it's unusually busy today although the traffic is moderate every other day.

he takes the lead as you both stroll in a straight line to a vendor all the way at the far corner because he saw something he wants to purchase. then it happens so fast.

one minute you were still right behind him, and another--you're gone. san only realizing he's lost you when he swings his head back to do a quick check and you're nowhere to be found.

a sense of panic surges through his body, his eyes batting left and right to search for you but it's nearly impossible with this many people, he's not even sure how long you've been gone exactly.

he thinks about calling you, only to curse internally when he remember that you decided to leave your phone back at the house.

turning his feet back around, he goes to search for you, no idea whose shoulders he's knocking into or which direction the curses at him are coming from. just that he needs to find you.

it takes him at least five minutes of shoving through the crowd until he spots that familiar head of hair and outfit, your body bending forward and picking at something on your leg.

"y/n!" he shouts, grabbing your attention as you pick your head up to look at him, your eyes swelling with hope.

but his face twists instead when he sees what you were picking at. a fresh bruise on your right knee that's starting to bleed, he runs to you so fast until he's only inches away, anxiety all over his face.

"what happened?" he asks, volume high like he wants the answer right this instant.

"i was looking for you and i just fell. that's it."

he sighs and shake his head.

"can you walk?"

you try by taking just a step forward, only to whimper in pain.

he seizes the bag you were holding and turns his back to face you, lowering his height and ushering you to get on.

you're hesitant at first but you don't think you can win san, so you hop on and circle your arms around his neck as he moves through the tight open spaces to an area near the entrance where there's less people, setting you down on the edge of an old fountain.

he places the bags on the side of you and gets down on his knees to get a better look at the injury.

"it looks bad," he says, looking up at you. "we can return to the house. i can treat you there."

"you sure you don't want to buy anything else?"

"i'm good. it's too packed here anyways."

the drive back to the house is quiet, you have never seen san so serious like this before. it's only when you're almost there that he finally speaks.

"i'm sorry. i should've held your hand or something. or even let you walk first."

"it's fine, san. we both wouldn't have been able to see it coming."

he piggyback you inside the house again, completely forgetting about the bags still inside the car.

settling you gently onto the couch, you watch as he speeds upstairs into the bathroom before coming back with a first aid kit, bending in front of you.

"just letting you know ahead of time, i've never used this thing before."

you chuckle and assure him it's okay, staying still so obediently while he dabs some of the blood off and wraps the bruised area with elastic bandages.

"your friends are going to kill me once they find out not only did i take you somewhere four hours away, but i also hurt you during the process."

you chuckle again at the comment, though a lot quieter this time, staring down at him with a question that's been hanging at the edge of your lips ever since he brought you here.

"san," you call out sweetly, making him pull away from the injury and to your eyes instead.

"may i ask why you decided to bring me?" out of eveyone else.

your question must've snapped him back pretty hard; from how the tiny smile on his lips falter and he just stares at you dumbfoundedly, because even he's not sure about a definite answer.

it could be that he likes being with you since you're so sweet and nice, or that he's selfish and wanted you all to himself--away from your friends, and especially away from yeosang.

"because i'm comfortable around you," he simply says, a lazy answer that he knows you're most definitely not convinced by although you're smiling in return.

"i-uh... i gotta go back to get the bags inside the car." he awkwardly points behind him to the door, and you just nod, so conflicted by what just happened.

choi san being so tender and caring is dangerous and not good. especially when you live in your head so much--detaching yourself from reality and dreaming of another one where things go how you want.

you can blame yuna's stupidly good arts that watches you through the nights more often than not; that painting of love displayed in front of a castle feeding ridiculous ideas into your head. but it's how you deal with all the traumas and hurts in your life.

by detaching, distracting, and hoping.

hoping that the look in san's eyes that were filled with concerns and worries mean he's starting to feel something because that's the way you see it.

the past couple of days being tucked in his arms and spoken to with sweet words even though you know it shouldn't be taken seriously, you can't help the story that builds itself in your mind--especially when he says one thing and then does another.

san's been trying to sleep for hours now, but he's unable to, the image of you so haunting whenever you'd look at him in a way he doesn't like at all.

even right now--your arms that are wrapped around his waist, he wants to pull them off--and your face that is in his chest, he wants to push you away; distance himself--because he's starting to get used to your touch.

to how natural you fit in his arms and how easy everything is with you; the passion to learn more about him irritating his nerves to no end but also warms his heart in a weird way.

he had slipped up earlier when you got hurt, he must've looked so insane because even he caught himself offguard with how worried he was.

one more day alone with you is already too many; these past couple of nights already overstayed their welcome, and so he does the only thing he knows how to: he runs away.

the sun is blinding the curtains when you're awake, getting up to lean against the headboard but groaning out when the pain from your leg reminds you of yesterday's event.

everything about san's appearance in front of you brings another series of questions.

he's properly dressed so early in the morning, folding his clothes and packing them into his bag.

"hey," you greet, unsure if he knows you've already woke up.

"hey."

"going somewhere?"

there's a quick silence that gauges the air before he answers you.

"we're going to be returning back to seoul."

"oh?" you raise an eyebrow. "i thought we still have two more days left, no?"

he tries to think of a lie, the first thing to pop in his mind is the one to leave his mouth.

"just got an emergency family call and they need me there by today."

"oh, okay." you just lightly nod. "i'll start packing too, then."

"yeah."

because one more day alone with you is already too many.

next // series m.list

taglist: @sorryimananti-romantic @revehosh @cookiechristie @avantalem @atiny68 @belletiny @shibera @mochibabycakes @justineasian @eastleighsblog @baguette-atiny @crimson-mia @yeosxxx @m4rsluv @sleepychimm @atz-diary @diorwoo @naiify @becauseiloveyunho @damagelove @softie00 @s-nsanshine @atinytinaa @moonseonghwa @lemontreefantasy @wooyoung4eva @yeosangsbiceps @likexaxdaydream @knucklesdeepmingi @barbielibra @tmtxtf @brown88 @harusoraa @frankenstein852 @yujispinkhair @mermaid17venus @nolxverlikeme @writersun @kkayfan @wooyoungjpg

#rushed the shit out of proofreading #so #ateez angst #ateez x reader #san x reader #yeosang x reader #choi san x reader #san angst #ateez series #fic: broken

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morgane-art · 3 months

Text

The vampire Diaries ships as Taylor Swift songs

Delena + Stelena

"He is sensible and so incredible

And all my single friends are jealous

He says everything I need to hear

And it's like I couldn't ask for anything better

He opens up my door and I get into his car

And he says 'you look beautiful tonight'

And I feel perfectly fine...

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain,

It's 2 am and I'm cursing your name,

So in love that you act insane

And that's the way I loved you."

Datherine

"I never trust a narcissist

But they love me

So I play 'em like a violin

And I make it look, oh, so easy

'Cause for every lie I tell them

They tell me three

This is how the world works

Now all he thinks about is me."

Steferine

"I've been breakin' hearts a long time

And toyin' with them older guys

Just playthings for me to use

Something happened for the first time

In the darkest little paradise

Shakin', pacin', I just need you

For you I would cross the line

I would waste my time

I would lose my mind

They say, she's gone too far this time."

Steroline

"Church bells ring

Carry me home

Rice on the ground

Looks like snow

Call my bluff

Call you 'babe'

Have my back, yeah, every day

Feels like home

Stay in bed

The whole weekend

It's nice to have a friend."

Klaroline

"My mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea

You touch me once and it's really something

You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be

I'm on my guard for the rest of the world, but with you, I know it's no good

And I could wait patiently but I really wish you would

Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain

Cause' I see sparks fly whenever you smile."

Forwood

"No matter what you say, I still can't believe

That you would walk away

It don't make sense to me, but

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart ?

Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart, now ?

Why would you wanna make the very first scar ?"

Bonenzo

"Ladies and gentlemen will you please stand ?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man

to be my lover

Look in my eyes they will tell you the truth

The girl in my story has always been you

I'd go down with the Titanic, it's true,

For you."

I wanted to add some 'The Originals' ships but I'm only on season 2 so I'll do a second part when I'll end the series.

Also I had 3 songs in mind for Klaroline it was hard to choose just one lol.

And the song I chose for Bonnie and Enzo was so crystal clear in my mind, when I listen to 'lover' I immediately think about them.

Feel free to tell me what you think !

PS : This post was inspired by a tiktok from @itsariedit who used the song "The way I loved you" for a delena edit and I thought it would be funny to pick a song for each ship of TVD

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constantlywriting1 · 1 year

Text

Everywhere: Warren Rojas x F!Reader

Pairing: Warren Rojas x F! Reader

Warnings: Drugs, Alcohol, and implied sex

Summary: You are being interviewed for the tell all story on Daisy Jones and The Six, but all you can seem to talk about is Warren. This is the events of your story with him and how it all panned out. This is the first part to what I am expecting to make a three part series.

Y/N: Living in Pittsburgh wasn’t at all interesting. I used to go to a catholic school, all girls. It was the worst. Being closed in like that only made me want to do all the things I wasn’t supposed to. My parents practically locked me in my room back then. They would find me somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be and I’d be grounded for months.

Warren: But she never stopped going out. She was everywhere. We’d go for a gig at some random bar in town and there she was in the front row cheering louder than anyone.

Y/N: When I met Warren the Dunne Brothers were barely what they would become. It was more of a hobby, but I liked saying I knew a guy in a band. My parents hated that I hung out with him. Of course they thought we were screwing and that really got under their skin. It wasn’t true… but I never denied it.

Eddie: I didn’t like her very much back then. I mean, for all I knew she was a total tease. I saw the way she acted with Warren, but they would never do anything. After a while you start to wonder what the hell is going on. But I didn’t know her like he did.

Graham: She was sleeping with some guy from the corporate offices downtown. He was married with kids and he was promising some sort of life for the two of them on the side. I remember when she told me that. I just felt so bad. She really believed him and Warren really liked her. It was just a mess.

Y/N: Yeah, I don’t know, he was nice to me. His name isn’t important but yes he was married. I was 17 and he was somewhere in his 30s. It wasn’t right and I knew that then, but I felt validated by him. He was the only adult in my life who treated me like an adult in every way. I do want to be clear though, it was not my job as a teenager to make sure this man stood true to his vows. I didn’t care about any of that. I just wanted to be loved.

Warren: I loved her, even back then. But I knew it didn’t matter. She genuinely thought that’s what she deserved and there was nothing I could do about it. She was just my friend and I decided to wait it out.

Y/N: I always liked Warren. He was following his dreams and I wanted to be just like him. But I didn’t have any dreams back then. I couldn’t see a future for myself that I enjoyed. I was living for everyone else back then and I didn’t see that ever stopping.

Billy: We met Rod and we knew we were going to California, all of us except Chuck. It wasn’t really a question, in my head at least. Warren was a little torn up about leaving her behind, but there was nothing we could do. She wasn’t coming, and honestly I just thought she was trouble all around.

Y/N: He said that? [laughs]. I wasn’t trouble to anyone but myself. Billy always looked at me like he could see right into my soul. When I’d see him around town it was always that same look. He was disgusted, and I wanted to shove it right in his face. Sometimes I’d imagine myself just walking up to him and saying Hey asshole, you know I’m not blind right? How about you mind your own business and I’ll do the same. But I knew better than to say that to him. Everyone in Pittsburgh had Billy Dunne’s dick in their mouth and I, surprisingly, seemed to be the only one who didn’t.

Warren: I wasn’t gonna ask her to come with us. I’d mentioned it in conversation a few times, just telling her that we were thinking about leaving, but she never seemed interested so I never asked.

Y/N: He didn’t have to ask me. Things were going down hill with my… partner at the time. His wife had caught on to his sneaky behavior and I could tell he was trying to figure out a way to leave me without causing a big scene. Between that and my parents getting increasingly less cool, I started to seriously consider my options. Warren told me when they were leaving and I didn’t say anything. I was still thinking it over, wondering if there was a chance with the older guy and hoping that somehow my relationship with my parents would miraculously fix itself in the three days that I had before the van left for California.

Of course none of that happened, and in those three days I realized that it never would.

The van was leaving on a Saturday morning. I had graduated high school by then and there was nothing holding me back in Pittsburgh. I stood up all night that Friday, packing my belongings into a tiny pink suitcase and thinking about whether or not I was making the right choice. By the time my bag was fully packed, the sun had barely started to rise. I sat down on my bed, my room looking nothing like the one I had spent my life in. And as I sat there waiting for the morning to come I realized how far away Pittsburgh felt to me already. There was no good reason for me to stay, but I sat there and fought myself to find one. I closed my eyes tight and searched my mind for a good memory, a good feeling attached to my home. The only thing I could come up with was Warren and his music, the band. And when I opened my eyes again I realized how stupid I would be not to go with them. So I grabbed my bag and ran out of my house.

Warren: I was sitting in the driver’s seat, just about to take off for our roadtrip to California and then I saw her running down the street. She had this big pink suitcase that she was trying so hard to carry. I almost thought she was gonna fall over, I just couldn’t stop laughing. I guess I got out of the car at some point, everyone started yelling at me wondering what I was doing. They hadn’t seen her yet. I remember running up to her and just holding her so tight in my arms. I could hear her laughing in my ear, a genuine cackle that warmed my heart. She held me just as tight, her fingers locked in my hair.

Eddie: We were all wondering what the hold up was. At some point I got out of the van and I just saw Warren hugging her and I knew she was coming with us. Well that and the suitcase. I rolled my eyes and got back in the van to spread the news.

Graham: I was happy she was coming with us. Billy was bringing Camila and I thought having a single girl with us could be cool. But Warren made it clear she was off limits.

Camila: She got in the van all giggly like a school girl. Eddie was sitting in the passenger seat and she just opened up the door and handed him her suitcase. He didn’t move at first but when he looked around and realized nobody else was moving either he grabbed her bag and made his way to the trunk. While he put her bags in the back with everyone else’s she sat down in the passenger seat beside Warren and closed the door. By the time Eddie got back around she was buckled in and carrying a conversation. He didn’t even try to get his seat back, he just came and joined the rest of us.

Y/N: I talked to Warren almost the whole way to California. When he got tired I would move to the back of the van with him while Eddie drove. I sat there hanging on to every word he spoke. He was a lot funnier than I ever realized.

When we got to the house in Laurel Canyon I was shocked at how beautiful it was. A little worn down, sure, but it felt like home with everyone else there. I had my own room, no one else wanted it because they thought it was haunted. It didn't matter very much to me, I was barely in it.

Warren: We started spending a lot of time together. When we’d go out together she would come with us. Most times we’d end up at some jukejoint and I swear she’d queue songs on purpose, somehow always ending up pulling me in for a dance. She would turn her back toward me and wrap her arm around the back of my neck. She’d pull all of her hair over one shoulder and I would just watch as she grinded against me.

Eddie: At this point I was getting pissed. She had been stringing him along since we left Pittsburgh and every night they would go their separate ways. She would go into her room and he would go into his. I started to tell him to just give it a rest. He had never tried anything with her and at this point I figured he had just plain struck out. I told him to accept the fact that they were always just gonna be friends and move on with his life.

Y/N: It wasn’t that I didn’t like Warren, because I did. But I didn’t want to fuck him up. I had a lot of… baggage back then and I couldn’t bring him down with me. He was my best friend and I figured we could get a little close without it meaning anything serious.

Billy: I don’t know why, but when she got in the van that day I didn’t imagine her staying in California with us. I didn’t take her seriously. But when I realized she was planning on living with us I had to have a conversation with her.

Y/N: He told me, “If you’re going to keep stowing away with us you have to start contributing.” I think I laughed when he said that, then I realized he was being serious. I asked him what he expected me to do and he said, “I don’t know, learn how to wait tables I guess.” and then he left.

Eddie: She became a waitress and bought a guitar with her first check. We all laughed about it.

Billy: She thought it was that easy. Just buy a guitar and all of a sudden you’re a rock star. No one said anything about it because it was obviously just to spite me. I told her to get a job and she said fine, I’ll do your job better. I wanted to see her try.

Y/N: I didn’t buy the guitar because of Billy, and I hated that it took him telling me to pull my weight for me to be able to afford one. Like I said before, I didn’t know I wanted to make music when we were in Pittsburgh. I had been in a few musicals and things like that, but I was worried about so much else.

In California I didn’t have to worry. I had the time to think about what would make me happiest in life and I started to write down lyrics here and there. I didn’t have a full song when I bought the guitar but I didn’t want to have to imagine the melody anymore. I would watch Graham and Billy play during rehearsals and try to pick up some chords from there. By the end of the month I could play very simple versions of a few of their songs, and from there I started making my own.

Warren: We would stay up late in her room and I would just watch her strum away, learning faster than I’ve ever seen anyone pick up anything. She wouldn’t play me her songs though. I’d watch her scribble away in her journal and before I could even ask about it, the book would be hidden once more.

Y/N: I never trusted anyone as much as I trusted Warren. We would stay up all hours of the night getting high on whatever we could get our hands on. Most times we would just split a few joints and sit there laughing in each other's arms.

I remember one night we were on mescaline and I was just staring at him. He was so beautiful to me and though it wasn’t the first time I noticed, it was the first time I was able to take it all in. He looked back at me and I swear he was going to cry. I put a cigarette to my mouth and he pulled a lighter out of his pocket.

“I am really happy you came with us.” He whispered to me as he put the flame to the end of my cigarette.

“I don’t know, sometimes I feel like I just made it harder for you guys.” I replied.

“You didn’t, you made it easier, at least for me.” He was being honest.

Warren: Yeah, I remember that night. She was only wearing a bikini even though we hadn’t gone out to the beach that day. She kept saying she was hot, and I mean hey, I wasn’t gonna tell her to put clothes on. She sat there next to me, smoking her cigarette and I just took her in. I couldn’t remember feeling that way about anyone I had ever met before.

At some point she took her cigarette and put it up to my lips. Without thinking I leaned forward and took a drag. My lips touched her fingers and we just sat there for a moment. When I leaned back, her eyes were glued on to me.

“I’m cold now.” She sighed. And then she got up, her long legs untangling effortlessly. She walked the few steps over to me and just sat right on my lap. I was shocked at first, a little confused. But it felt… right. So I put my arm around her and held her there.

Y/N: I don’t know why I insisted on torturing him. I knew how he felt about me. Camila would always be the one to tell me to stop messing with him, and it just made me want to be with him more. I was tired of everybody telling us what we could and couldn’t be. I didn’t think Warren had a problem with it.

When I sat on his lap that night I knew nothing was going to happen, because he respected me. I had never known a man to do that and I liked how it felt not having to worry about being used. I sat in his arms for hours, just listening to his heart beating. He put his hand on my thigh at some point and I thought I was in heaven. Well it was probably that and the drugs.

Warren: When she got up I felt like I was incomplete. She had been on top of me for so long, I forgot we were two seperate people. I watched as she stood there, expecting her to leave me alone like she had done so many times before. But to my surprise she didn’t move.

“Do you want to come back to my room?” She asked, and I couldn’t help but feel nervous. I had never slept in her room before, and she had never slept in mine. But I said yes.

Y/N: I grabbed his hand and helped him to his feet. We were both coming down and I knew I had to get to bed before I was fully off the drugs. I held his hand loosely in mine as we walked down the dusty hall’s of our house. When we got to my room he hesitated at the door.

“Is it actually haunted in here?” he questioned.

I scoffed quietly before pulling him further inside.

Warren: I sat down on her bed and turned away while she put on a night gown that barely covered anything. I wanted to ask her what we were doing but the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth.

She lingered onto the queen sized mattress, the length of her just barely reaching the edge. I layed next to her and just let her watch me.

And then she said it. “Can you sleep in here tonight?”

I turned toward her, I didn’t know if she was joking or not. But when I saw her eyes, sincere and full of sleep, I knew she was asking because she needed me to say yes. She needed someone to hold just for the night. So I nodded and we got under the covers. I still had my jeans on but I didn’t care.

Y/N: I slept very well next to him that night. And when I woke up late that afternoon he was still holding me. When I started to move I realized he must’ve been awake before me. I can’t imagine for how long.

I turned to face him completely and we both just smiled. I asked him how he slept and he made a joke about my bed being way more comfortable than his. I laughed and grabbed the top of his arm. I made my way down to his hand and held it for a second.

“Thank you, Warren.” I told him.

He said. “Don’t mention it,” and got out of my bed.

Warren: I didn’t know what happened. I couldn’t tell if it was the drugs or if she was just messing with me. I was happy it happened and that I could be there for her, but I thought it better I leave.

Y/N: I didn’t mention it after that and neither did he, but it was clear that everyone else in the house knew we had slept in the same bed. Like always they were making it into some big deal and I was so tired of them all forcing us into a box.

That afternoon Graham convinced Billy to call Karen on a pay-phone at lunch. We all huddled around the phone and listened as he blubbered to the British woman. Eventually, Billy took the phone and convinced her to join the band.

When she showed up the next day to move into the house we realized she had no place to sleep. Eddie suggested that I move into Warren’s room and I laughed but nobody else did.

“Why would I move into Warren’s room?” I shouted.

“Well, you guys had sex so I just assumed…” Eddie started. I walked right up to him and shoved him as hard as I could. I could feel my face heating up.

“Do you guys all think we had sex?” I yelled. No one said anything.

I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but what Eddie said got me so mad I couldn’t stop. “Warren and I are friends,” I said. “And we can do whatever we want without all of you questioning us all the time. We didn’t fuck but if we did it would be none of your fucking business.”

Warren: She stomped away and slammed her bedroom door behind her. They all looked at me and I just smiled and shrugged. She was a complicated person but I understood why she was upset.

Eddie: She didn’t have to push me. Maybe I shouldn’t have said what I said but I thought it was true. [laughs] I guess that doesn’t make it any better.

Karen: While she was in the room they all began to try and deal with the situation. I remember laughing to myself about the mess of it all. I mean, she was acting like a child.

Billy: Just as we were starting to figure out how to rearrange everyone she came out of her room with that pink suitcase and looked right past all of us to Warren. He smiled and quickly made his way over to her. Eddie scoffed and we all just kinda looked around, like none of us had actually expected her to do it.

I think that’s when I realized how completely wrong I was about her. I had been imagining her as the same naive kid in Pittsburgh but it just wasn’t true anymore.

Warren: We went to my room and she threw her suitcase on the bed. I watched as she opened it and started angrily going through drawers to see where her things would fit.

“I can’t believe Eddie would say that,” she started grunting.

I felt bad, I didn’t want her to think that’s what I told him. But when I opened my mouth to tell her she just said, “I know.”

Y/N: That night was different. Warren only had one bed in his room and it was smaller than mine. We both barely fit because of how far apart we insisted on being.

And then I had a thought. Why was I ignoring his feelings? There was no real reason we couldn’t be together and I was the one making it harder than it had to be. My heart started to beat so fast, I thought he could hear it.

I turned toward him and he was already facing me. his dimples were showing even with his small little smirk. I didn’t say a word, just leaned right in and pressed my lips against his.

Warren: I wasn’t expecting her to kiss me, but when she did I melted. I don’t know, I think there’s something really special about waiting for someone, watching them grow and knowing they’ll be ready for you someday. Of course I didn’t know it was gonna be that day, but who really knows with her?

Y/N: I got on top of him and started kissing every inch of skin that I could find. I had been holding myself back from him for so long, I just needed to feel him.

Warren: She was loud that night. I remember thinking there was no way we were going to be able to live it down. It wasn’t late enough for anyone else to be asleep, and if it was we would’ve woken them up.

Graham: The next morning she came out of that room… lighter. We were all snickering about what we had heard and she just sat with all of us and watched for a minute.

And then she said, “Now we’re fucking, so I hope you’re all happy.”

We all laughed, even Eddie.

#fanfiction #daisy jones and the six fanfiction #warren rhodes #warren rojas #warren rhodes x f!reader #Warren rojas x f!reader #Warren rhodes fanfiction #warren rojas fanfiction #Warren rojas imagine #warren rhodes imagine #daisy jones and the six

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parkerslatte · 1 year

Text

Songbird || TWENTY-THREE

Eddie Roundtree x Fem!Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 3.1k

Part Summary: Y/N makes a decision that effects her and Eddie’s relationship.

previous chapter / next chapter

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•••

TRACK TWENTY-THREE;

KISS ME HARD BEFORE YOU GO

***

4:15pm

4 Hours Earlier

“Anyone have a guess where they might be?” Rod questions, “Anyone?”

No one answered.

“For fuck’s sake, even Y/N isn’t here and she always is.” Rod says before walking away.

“Not like Billy to be missing soundcheck,” Warren comments, “Or Y/N for that matter.”

Warren takes a drag of his cigarette before turning to Eddie, “It’s a nice shiner you got there.”

Eddie doesn’t say anything, he simply focuses on his bass.

“Eddie,” Warren says, taking a seat, “What’d you say to him, man?”

“Nothing, just, uh…some shit that needed to be said, that’s all.” Eddie says.

“Eddie, look, I’m gonna say some stuff, all right, and you’re gonna promise that you’re not gonna hate me for it,” Warren says, “What the fuck is wrong with you? So what if Billy’s an asshole? So what if you’re not the guy? I mean, you are in the biggest band in the fucking world right now. You get to fly around on jet planes and sleep on one hundred dollar bills, and we get to play songs that millions of people listen to and they fucking love ‘em. They love ‘em Eddie.”

“And don’t get me started on Y/N,” Warren continues, “The one woman most men want and you’re with her, not anyone else. And all that is still not enough for you?”

“Warren-”

“No, no, man. I’m serious. Like, this shit does not happen. To anyone. We’re the luckiest motherfuckers in the world, bro.”

“Warren, all due respect, I think I may be looking for a little more out of life than you are.” Eddie says.

Warren looks down and chuckles, “Yeah, man, tell that to Y/N, I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to hear that.”

Eddie sighed, knowing that the comment he said wasn’t about Y/N but he didn’t argue, not wanting to cause any more of a stir.

As Warren begins walking away, Eddie calls out to him, “Where are you going?”

“Me? I don’t know,” Warren says, “Maybe I’m gonna go smoke a joint, pop sound thousand dollar champagne. Or - you know what - maybe I’ll call my girlfriend, the movie star. See you tonight, bro!”

***

Present Time

On Stage

As Y/N stepped up to the microphone, the crowd cheered. It caused Y/N to smile, her final time performing this song was already off to a good start. The band began playing and Y/N began singing, losing herself in the music completely.

At the beginning of the song, she closed her eyes as she sang, imagining what it would be like if this audience were here for her and only her. The banners would only have her name on them and they would all be singing along to the songs she wrote. The audience would be chanting her name, demanding an encore to which Y/N would come out and sing one final song - a different one every night so no two shows were the same.

When Y/N finally opened her eyes, she was transported back to where she was originally - performing with the band. However, she strived to make this the best performance she could give. Taking the microphone from the stand, Y/N began to walk around the stage.

…

KAREN SIRKO: That night Y/N’s voice was something else. I had never heard her sing like that before.

WARREN ROJAS: Y/N was a powerhouse that night! I get chills just thinking about it.

DAISY JONES: That song was a duet, but I stepped back and let Y/N have the whole stage. With a voice like hers she deserved the spotlight, especially with that song.

…

Eddie watched Y/N walk around the stage, her voice echoing throughout the arena. From the hundreds of times he had heard her sing the song, he had never heard her sing it the way she was. There was an emotion to her voice that he could place but he knew that he was a part of the cause of that emotion. All he wanted to do was run up to her, take her into his arms and apologise as many times as it took for her to forgive him.

Y/N wouldn’t even look at Eddie for longer than a few seconds at most. Eddie obviously thought that it was because of what he had said earlier but it couldn’t be further from the truth.

…

Y/N L/N: I was angry with what Eddie said, but I got over it quickly. I couldn’t look at him that entire performance because I knew what I was going to do after the show. I couldn’t face him.

…

In the final chorus of the song, Y/N finally turned to face Eddie as she sang from the other side of the stage. Eddie looked at her as she sang, nothing but love in his eyes. He had always loved Y/N’s voice and he loved it even more with the way she was singing now. The only thing he hated was that he was the cause of some of the pain behind her voice.

As Y/N finished her song, she turned away from Eddie, walking back to the front of the stage and the crowd erupted into cheers, chanting her name over and over again. Y/N smiled and bowed, soaking in the applause.

When the crowd began to quiet down, and Y/N took her place next to Graham, Daisy stepped up to the microphone.

“Let’s hear it for Y/N L/N, everyone!” Daisy says and the crowd cheered again and Y/N smiled, “Now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage my sister and my best friend, Simone Jackson!”

***

8:33pm

Y/N stood in the greenroom with Warren and Simone. Y/N had heard of Simone Jackson before Daisy ever mentioned her, she had listened to a few of her songs. Simone’s type of music wasn’t typically Y/N’s go to, but she definitely replayed a few of her songs when she first heard them.

As the three of them conversed, Daisy walked into the room, causing their conversation to come to an abrupt halt.

“Oh wow.” Simone commented on the makeup on Daisy’s face.

“Finally, great! Gang’s all here.” Rod says.

“You look scared, Rod,” Daisy says, “And you should be.”

“Okay,” Rod says slowly, “All right, this time’s for real everybody.”

Y/N began to walk out of the greenroom, fully aware of Eddie walking just behind her. She wanted nothing more than to turn around, pull him away and talk to him but she knew that she needed to get through the show first.

***

Present Time

On Stage

“So, we have to go soon,” Billy says into the microphone, “But we can’t leave without paying some dues. I’m gonna need your help. You with me!”

The crowd cheered.

“On drums, a man who keeps time like a Rolex and who cuts grooves like a knife,” Billy introduces, “It’s Mister Warren Rojas!”

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Billy says, taking the microphone from the stand, and begins to approach Eddie, though he swerves at the last second, instead focusing on Karen, “The classiest, coolest cucumber ever to play keys. It’s Miss Karen Sirko!”

Billy walks across the stage towards Y/N, “You know her and you love her, the woman that doesn’t shy away from the spotlight, it’s Miss Y/N L/N.”

“Up next, as good a man as you’ll ever meet. But sometimes I forget how lucky I am that he’s my brother. It’s Graham Dunne, everyone!”

Billy walks back to the front of the stage, “On bass, well that’s Eddie Roundtree,” Billy pauses, “All right, wait, wait, wait, let’s try that again, shall we? The master of the low end hammer, the man, the face that keeps pace on the bass, the groove layer, the four string slayer. It’s Eddie Demetrius Roundtree!”

Billy leans closer to Eddie and whispers into his ear, causing the smile that was on his face to drop.

“And finally, well, do I even need to say it?”

“Well, I want to hear you say it.” Daisy says.

“It’s Daisy Jones, everyone.”

“Billy Dunne, everybody!” Daisy announces.

As the band performed ‘Aurora’, Y/N looked at Eddie the whole time. He didn’t smile once and he didn’t even look anywhere but straight forward, much like Y/N had done at the beginning of the show. Finally when Eddie looked up, he made eye contact with Y/N and they didn’t break it the remainder of the song.

“Y/N,” Eddie says as soon as the band exits the stage, “Can I talk to you?”

Y/N sighed, “Eddie, there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Yes there is!” He says desperately, “What I said to Billy, I shouldn’t have said that, I panicked when he questioned me and I didn’t know what to say. I regret it, I really do. I love you and only you and I can't bare it if I caused you any pain.”

Y/N sighed, “Eddie, listen, I’m over that now. I’m not going to lie, it did hurt when you told me, but I’m the one who asked what you said and you told me the truth.”

“So why are you avoiding me?” Eddie asked, taking her hands in his, “Tell me.”

“Eddie-”

“No, I don’t want any more excuses, I need you to tell me,” Eddie says, “You used to tell me everything.”

“I’m leaving tonight.” Y/N said.

Eddie paused, “Is that why you have a plane ticket in your bag?”

“How do you know about that?” Y/N questioned.

“It fell out of your bag after you left earlier.” Eddie says.

Y/N sighs, “I wasn’t going to use it initially. I don’t really know why I bought it.”

“This isn’t all because of me, right?” Eddie asks, his hand cupping her cheek.

“No, of course not,” Y/N says, “It’s nothing to do with you at all.”

Eddie rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes. The two didn’t need to say any words to know what the other was saying. I love you.

By the time the band went on stage, Y/N was heartbroken, knowing it was getting closer and closer to the part of the night she was dreading the most, she wished she could just skip it entirely. The crowd cheered as everyone walked back onto the stage and Y/N forced a smile onto her face.

The crowd chanted ‘Look at Us Now’ over and over again as the band waited and listened.

“Let me hear it if you’re in love tonight!” Daisy yelled, “I’ve been in love. And it hurts, doesn’t it?”

Y/N spared a glance at Eddie and found that he was doing the same.

“But it doesn’t have to,” Daisy continued, “Love doesn’t have to be bombs and tears and blood. Love can be peace. And it can be beautiful. And if you’re lucky enough to find somebody who lifts you up, even when you don’t deserve it, that’s where the light is.”

Y/N continued to look at Eddie as a tear slipped down her cheek. She loved Eddie more than she loves anything else on the planet. But that was the problem, she loved him more than she loved herself. And before she could start loving him the way that was needed, she needed to love herself first.

“So my wish for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, is find someone who helps you see the light.” Daisy says, “This is a love song.”

The band began playing Look At Us Now and the crowd cheered, probably the loudest they had the entire night. As it was Billy’s turn to start singing, he didn’t. He remained still at the microphone, tears threatening to spill. Holding the microphone out to the crowd, Daisy urged them to sing, to which they complied.

As Daisy began singing, she said one simple word to Billy which prompted him to leave the stage running. At that point Y/N knew that she wasn’t the only one leaving the band that night.

Daisy sang to each member of the band, completely focusing on the people she was performing with rather than the audience, it was her goodbye.

The song finished and the band slowly made their way to the front of the stage. Eddie stood next to her and intertwined their fingers together, giving her hand a squeeze.

As Y/N bowed with the band, she knew it would be the final time; there was no salvaging what had been broken long ago. As she stepped off the stage, she fought back against her tears. Y/N wasn't sad that the band was over; she was sad because she would never have the opportunity to perform with her friends again. Rod tried to get her attention as she walked past, but Y/N just continued, knowing she would break down if she stopped for only a minute.

Y/N was aware of Eddie walking behind her, the gentle hand on her lower back. It stayed there until they got into a taxi. No words were exchanged between the two; there didn't need to be. When they returned to the hotel and up to their room, Y/N hugged Eddie.

The two stood there in the centre of the room, swaying gently. It was silent; there was no sound of people talking, and there was no sound of cars outside the window. It was as if the world stood still.

"Eddie…" Y/N began but paused once she realised this would be the most challenging conversation ever.

Eddie rested his forehead on hers, cupping her cheeks gently, "I know."

"You don't hate me?" Y/N questioned.

"I could never hate you." Eddie says, brushing Y/N's hair out of her face.

"I just need some time," Y/N says, "I don't know how long that'll be, but I think I just need to do things and be on my own for a while."

"I understand." Eddie says, his thumb gently rubbing across her cheek.

"I still love you, Eddie, so much, that's why-" Y/N began to tear up, "That's why this is so hard for me."

"Shhhh," Eddie says, wiping the tears away, "I love you too, Y/N. I adore you."

It was at that point that Y/N began to break down. She clung onto Eddie for dear life, clutching at his jacket. Her sobs echoed through the room, and they jabbed a dagger into Eddie's heart.

The two remained on the hotel room floor until Y/N's sobs subsided. Her grip on the front of Eddie's jacket loosened a little as she tilted her head to look at him.

"I hate that I'm doing this to you, Eddie." Y/N says, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey," Eddie says, "You're not doing anything to me, okay? You need time and to be on your own for a while and I respect that," Eddie paused, "And I will wait for you. Whenever you decide to come back, I will be waiting."

"But I don't want you to do that," Y/N says, "I don't want you to wait around for me when there could be someone that you will love more than me."

"Impossible," Eddie whispered, "Because there is no one on this planet that I could possibly love more than you."

Y/N cupped Eddie's cheeks before pressing her lips against his. This kiss was different from the ones they had shared before, and this was a kiss that they both hoped they never had to experience and this was a goodbye kiss.

Eddie gripped onto Y/N, holding her close. It was the last time he would hold her this way for a while, possibly forever.

Eddie was the first to pull away, "I don't want to make this any more painful, Y/N."

Y/N looked down and nodded, "I know. I just don't want to leave."

"Y/N," Eddie says softly, "Go."

Y/N paused before nodding as she rose to her feet; her bag was already packed. She picked up her bag before she began the walk to the door. With each step, Y/N felt the door get further and further away.

"Hey," Eddie called out.

Y/N turned to him; he was still sitting on the floor. Something deep within her wanted him to beg her to stay and not leave him; there was hope in her heart.

"I love you, Y/N L/N." Eddie says.

Y/N, despite her tears, offered him a smile, "I love you too, Eddie Roundtree. More than you could possibly imagine."

Y/N turned around once again, her hand on the door handle. It was cold beneath her touch. Pushing it down, she pulled the door open. The hallway felt dark, and Y/N didn't want to step out into it; she was scared to do it without Eddie; she was afraid to do it without Warren, Karen, Graham, Camila, Daisy, and in a way, without Billy.

With a sigh, Y/N stepped out alone, closing the door behind her. There was no one but Y/N in the hallway, which is how it would be from now on. Sparing one final glance at the door, Y/N walked down the hallway.

…

Y/N L/N: I left Eddie because I needed to work on myself, and so did he. We were perfect for one another, but at that point in time, we couldn’t love each other at our full capacity; there were arguments and tears. I knew that night that I was the one who needed to leave because he wouldn't. That's not to say I didn't love him; I adored him, and he was my everything, but we needed to fix what was broken, and we couldn't do that together. I loved him so much that I let him go.

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aspitefulwriter · 10 months

Text

OUT OF TOUCH [Ch. 3]

(Poe Dameron x AFAB!reader)

warnings: reader punches people again, also spoilers…but character death. my bad, y’all. kylo ren is a little bitch

word count: ~5.1k

author’s note: running running and running running and running running and RUNNING RUNNING.

and for new folks, i post on ao3 first, so be on the lookout :))

Series Masterlist

By the time Poe had managed to get outside, hoping to at least catch your tail, you were long gone. He chances one of the private locations he knows of where high profile people associated with the First Order land, but when he gets there, the lot is empty spare a few pre-Imperial ships that couldn’t take off even if they tried. Aggravation grates at his mind as he kicks at the dirt beneath his feet, deciding just to go back to base.

Taking the tumultuous trip back to his ship and ultimately back to base was short yet also seemed endless. The lead to Senator Camboon had been a fantastic one scrounged up out of thin air by Leia, and the guilt for not getting him weighed heavily on Poe. As he stepped out of his undercover jet, he first sets his eyes on BB-8, who spins circles around him not only physically, but he also just doesn’t stop talking.

He rubs his droid’s head apologetically, “Yeah, I know buddy. I promise I’ll try to find a way next time.” When he looks up from BB, Leia stands at the entrance to the hangar, hands clasped behind her back. As he walks up to her, an entire list of apologies on the tip of his tongue, Leia flicks her wrist, seamlessly silencing them.

She sighs, searching his face as he takes a deep breath, planning to apologize anyway.

“A part of me already knew that you wouldn’t come back with him, but I can’t say I’m not disappointed.”

Scratch the apology. “Already knew?” He scoffs, “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

She turns to him, “Poe, you’re a great man and an even better pilot, but you’re still just a man.”

“That’s not fai—”

“I know exactly who took Senator Camboon, so I know it’s not right for me to be upset. Still, sometimes you make it very hard to be tolerant.”

His eyebrows furrow, “You know who she is?” She nods, chewing the inside of her cheek.

Her voice is soft and low as she leans in, “She’s a commander of Canis Squad. They’re usually sent for high status missions, so imagine my surprise when the mission log was intercepted by one of my constituents on Coruscant and I see her name as lead.”

He tuts and crosses his arms, “All the times I’ve flown to fight against the Order and this is the first time I’ve heard about a lethal squadron? Can’t say that’s fair.”

“That’s what intel is for, Poe Dameron,” She grins at him cheekily and he matches her grin, shaking his head slightly. Something doesn’t seem right, though.

“If she’s the commander of a squad like that and set up in a silencer, why would they send her to get a senator for the New Republic?” He pensively rests his fingers against his lips.

Her eyebrows furrow, “I’m not sure.” Poe hums in return, trying to think of any difference you might have had since the last time you saw each other, but nothing comes up. Though to be fair, he didn’t really know you all that well.

“Well, if I see her again I can throw in some razzle dazzle and convince her to join us.” He winks at Leia as she gives him a small smile and he walks out of the hangar, BB-8 back to asking about how it went, causing Poe’s thoughts to trail back to you. Would it really be possible to get you to join?

____

That night, he and his squad are scattered around a caf table, several drinks floating in their systems. Poe opens his eyes and sits up, “I have to tell you guys something.”

They stop their separate conversations and take drinks from their mugs, looking at him expectantly.

“I wasn’t alone…those few days I was stranded.” All he got was silence and blank stares before they burst out laughing.

“You think we didn’t know that? How else would we have been able to get our hands on a TIE silencer if you were alone?” Karé chuckles, hitting the shoulder of Jessika while she laughs along.

“And there’s no way you would’ve survived there alone.” Snap follows, taking another sip from his drink to hide his grin.

He rolls his eyes before he looks at Snap, “I’m perfectly capable alone,” he pauses and looks between them all, “But seriously– you guys weren’t a little curious?”

Karé lets out a small groan, “Fine, I’ll bite. What do you want to talk about so badly?” She teases.

“I think we might be able to get a First Order pilot on our side.”

At that, his crew all turned their heads to them, mouths falling open and eyes wide.

“What do you mean?” L’ulo speaks up, almost suspiciously.

“Exactly what I just said.” Poe zones in, having already thought about his argument to get her on this side, “Think about it…we could have a pilot that knows some of the best maneuvers in the galaxy–behind my own, of course–knows the ins and outs of the First Order–”

Jess interrupts him, “That’s what I thought you said. Poe...First. Order. Run that back through your head again. There’s no way that she’d accept the Resistance without running back information about us to her superiors.” The rest of the table nods their heads, agreeing with her.

Poe runs his hand along his face as he thinks back to your actions on the planet, “You guys didn’t spend any time with her, you don’t know her.”

“Do you?” L’ulo asks pensively.

Poe gulps, “I–I mean not really, but, who can honestly say that they’ve met a First Order officer that let them go? Twice.”

“Okay, you have a point, but how are you going to do it?” Snap asks over his mug, nearly finished with his drink.

“I haven’t really thought that far.” At that, the table snickers at him, and Poe grins wide.

_____

“You’re being demoted.” The sentence rings in your ears as your eyes blur Kylo Ren out of focus. “Be lucky you’re half your father, or else you’d be floating in space with a blaster shot through the head.” He pauses like he’s baiting you to interrupt him, but you’re frozen in place.

He stalks closer to you, “Did you think I didn’t know?” At that, your eyes unblur and you peer at him with confusion.

His mask garbles out a scoff, “Helping the Resistance. Twice.” He stabs at your chest with his finger before pulling away, “It’s treasonous behavior that deserves far of a worse punishment than a demotion…a captain of all things.” He turns from you and you can feel the familiar clench of your muscles as the Kylo begins to constrict the matter around your body, but he stops.

“They give you too many chances.” Unsure of what to do, you stay in place.

“Leave!” He yells, lightsaber activating, and you all but jog out of the room.

Once out, you let out the breaths you were holding in and as if on autopilot, you start your way down the hallway. The sound of Kylo Ren’s tantrum echoing through the halls and masking the your footsteps as your legs carry you to some unknown destination. Your mind swirled with thoughts, a void of hatred and anger as you could feel the foundations of everything you thought you knew crumbling at your feet. You put so much blood, sweat, and tears into the Order and because you enacted in self-preservation, you’re being punished? You guess you could understand how Ren could figure out the first time you met Poe, but the second?

The club was unassociated with the First Order; you only knew a few of the staff due to previous run-ins, but you were certain they weren’t on the Order’s payroll. That left only one person, and based on conversations you had on the ship and on Coruscant, you couldn’t believe she’d report you for keeping someone alive.

And yes, you were angry–insanely so–but a part of you commends the idea she stooped so low to, what you can only assume, grab herself a promotion. From then on, you put a mission behind your legs as you raced to where your usurper should be.

When you get to the training room and see Jazkrin chatting to the rest of your crew, any part of you that admired her move wipes out of existence. Those that were facing toward you looked as you make a bee-line straight to her. Not knowing what they were looking at, she turns slowly and as she sets her eyes on you, her face turns smug. That flames the fire blazing in you and you swing your arm back, punching the look right off of her face and tackling her to the ground.

You get a few good punches in before you’re pulled off, “You’re a kriffing rat!” Jazkrin sits in the cone of your rage, vision focused on her as she teeters up from the floor, massaging her jaw.

She rolls her eyes and drops her hand, “I did what I had to do. You let yourself grow weak.”

“Really? Did my fists hit a little too soft for you? Did you want me to try again?” She sneers.

“Obviously that’s not the issue,” She says exasperatingly, pointing to her face, “You’re not right as the leader anymore, your calls are putting the First Order in danger.”

You start to laugh sarcastically, “Because I let one guy go?”

“Yes, exactly!” She throws her hands up, “ If you let one go, how many more will you allow to pass? They’re already growing stronger, you’re just letting them keep the fuel.”

“It was a debt! We saved each other’s lives!” You yell, yanking your arms out of the grasp of whoever pulled you off of her.

Jazkrin crosses her arms, “The fact you care about a debt proves you don’t belong as commander any longer.” You look between all the faces that stare at you, all of them saying nothing to back up your integrity for the years you’ve served as their leader and you scoff.

“Good day, Captain.” Jazkrin calls to your back smugly.

You roll your eyes to the ceiling, biting your cheek as you smile before you look back at her, “And good luck to you out there, Commander. Let’s hope you don’t break under the pressure.” Her eyes narrow as you take one last look at all the faces you used to call your team and shake your head, then leave to your quarters.

When you get there, you flop your back onto your bed as you spread your arms and legs. You think back to helping Poe and you fly your hands up to cover your face. Jazkrin was right… Kriffing idiot. Why didn’t you just kill him? You’ve never honored pleas or deals in the past, especially when it came to enemies of the First Order. What made him so special? You turn onto your back, keeping that question at the forefront of your mind as your eyes close and you fall asleep.

____

You had lost track of time. The days passed in a long repeat– you’d wake up exhausted, down a caf to fix the exhaustion, be exhausted that the caf wasn’t working, go to the station you were assigned, skip lunch, get more exhausted, work more, try to eat dinner, then go to sleep exhausted…repeat.

After you came back from your suspension on some backwater planet due to hitting Commander Jazkrin, it had been difficult to adjust to the exhaustion that being around the peers on this base causes. Some who respected her ideas made your life hell by doing minuscule tasks that left you running around the ship, and it felt like you were a child again dealing with the bullies in flight school. But eventually, you got used to it and days started to become a little easier; though some were easier than others, today being one.

Much to your surprise, you were given an off day and were using it to work out in the workout center, having forgoed working out in your quarters to escape from being trapped in your thoughts. It was typically empty, and having a rest from constant eyes was lifting your spirits. You could probably sleep well tonight.

Unfortunately, that mood quickly turned sour after seeing a familiar face walk through the door.

You had tried to ignore him, turning your face from the path he was taking straight to you in an attempt to deter him, but it was foolish.

It was obvious he was here to talk to you—there was no other reason Denel would be in the ship’s shared center since pilots had their own at their disposal.

“I know I shouldn’t be talking to you,” a pained look causes his eyebrows to pull together, lips pursed and downturned, “But I’d rather you hear from one of us than by Kylo Ren or someone else.”

You waited as he took a deep breath and ran his hand over his head. “Kole died. Today.”

A low gasp escaped you before you could stop it. “How?”

He waited to speak, eyes moving all around the room, “The squad was doing a simple training exercise. Command said the sector was in the clear and so we all let our guard slip when we were pulling some turns.”

“Before we knew it, we were surrounded– no one got any warnings, and Jazkrin froze. So we all separated and dealt with as many as we could at one time.” No warnings?

“Did you recognize anything about the ships that attacked you?” he shakes his head.

“Eventually we got down to the last few, Jazkrin had started to give us orders but they were unclear.”

He shudders, “The orders she gave me and Kole sounded similar through comms and…” he chokes down a sob, “And I shot him… I-I killed Kole.” As if on instinct you pull him into a hug as silent sobs wrack his body. You hold him tightly, not sure how to express comfort for the unimaginable guilt he must feel. Minutes pass before he pulls away and wipes his cheeks on his shoulders.

“I’m confused. Were you guys not spatially aware of where you were while fighting? Did Kole pull a move he didn’t broadcast?”

He nods solemnly and sniffles while keeping his eyes locked on the floor, “I don’t know what I’m going to do or what’s going to happen to me. And I can’t help but to think that whatever does happen is deserved.”

Your eyebrows pull together, “Hey, no. What happened today was not your fault. I want that to be perfectly clear.” Before you can continue, he interrupts you.

“I hit the trigger.”

“Yeah, you did,” his bottom lip begins to quiver, “But you did so under command. If her directions weren’t clear and you didn’t know he was approaching, that’s on her and her alone.”

This time he scoffs, saying your name, “They teach us to have quick reflexes. You drilled fast reflexes into us, I’d hardly say it’s on her alone.”

You laugh a little, lifting a hand to his upper arm and tilting your head to meet his eyes head-on.

“It’s been a while since you were forced to deal with my training.” You let your smile and arm fall, maintaining eye contact, “Denel...It’s on her. Don’t take the blame like this.”

He squeezes his eyes shut, sniffling once again before you pull him into a hug again.

However, because you can never have a slow day to recuperate, the moment is ruined by Captain Phasma and a horde of other stormtroopers that march behind her. You shove him away and take a few steps back as Captain Phasma audibly chuckles, the sound reverberating off of the equipment and walls.

“You can’t help but to be drawn to people who wish harm on the First Order, can you Captain?”

Your eyebrows draw together, “Wish harm? Phasma, it was an accident–”

“Spare me the monologue.”

“TN-3459, you’re under arrest for killing a member of the First Order. Do not fight, or else you may end up worse than what is needed.” Denel gives you a distant look as three stroomtroopers gather around him and pull him along; you stare at Phasma incredulously.

“You can’t be serious!” Everyone ignores you as they file Denel out of the room and you’re left standing alone in the middle of the workout center.

Denel taken? Jazkrin throwing your crew to doom after a wrongful promotion? Kole dead? Given the list of superiors above your team is short, you immediately think of Kylo Ren and his disdain for you. He’s the only one who actively prays for your downfall, and what better way than to see everything you’ve taken care of for years fall around you?

Barreling through base, any person you pass is asked (yelled at) about Ren’s whereabouts. The bastard thinks he can play little mind games while you take it like a good girl, but you did not get to be Commander so young by lying down and taking abuse.

The steam from the door announces your visit, but you don’t wait for it to fizzle out, “You’re pathetic, Ren!”

The stormtroopers standing guard snap to attention and draw their weapons to point at you, which Ren immediately quells with a wave of his hand.

Other than that, he gives you no reaction. “You’re out of line, Captain.”

“Why are you playing with my squad’s lives like they’re puppets?”

“Your squad?”

“Yes, my squad. I know you sent for that ambush, probably that pirate ship too months ago, and I know you promoted Jazkrin on purpose.” He stands unmoving for a few seconds before turning to face you, tutting a few times.

“You must’ve been hiding your intelligence from me.”

Rage fills your body and you sneer at him. “How dare you–whatever problem you have with me does not deserve to be put on them.” Ren starts to leisurely walk to you before stopping and moving his head to where his mouth would rest by your ear.

“Did you know I’ve dreamed about crushing your skull a thousand times over, wishing for your incessant voice to stop?”

“Maybe do us all a favor then, yeah? Take out the root of the problem and everything that’s wrong will be fixed.”

He hums lowly, pulling away from you and clasping his hands behind his back, “You have no idea of the power behind the voices that want to keep you here.”

That stumps you. “What? What do you mean?”

Silence fills the air as you study Kylo, eagerly waiting for an answer.

“I doubt you’ll ever find out.” He signals the troopers.

“Take her back to her quarters and set up guard. Make sure no one leaves or enters.” When they grasp your arms, you squirm to get out as you continue to stare at him. You manage to break out of one arm and go dead weight to make it harder to pull you.

Biting back a gag, you muster the most pleading voice you can, “Commander Ren, please. At least put someone else in command. Jazkrin will run the squad into the ground.” The troopers lift your weight more and are able to get you to move again, dragging your legs along the ground as you're forced out of the room.

The last thing you hear before the door shuts is, “To think I was impressed you put it together.”

The hold on you gets tighter and tighter as you struggle more, Ren’s words bouncing in your head and essentially confirming what you had known. Of course he was using your squad to get back at you considering he couldn’t touch your life–for whatever reason.

Playing with the lives of your pilots, some of the biggest assets to the First Order, because of some itch he has to scratch regarding you makes you shake in rage.

Your pilots …Denel. He was taken into custody, and will likely be tortured by Ren just to scratch that itch. You have to get him. You have to escape.

Still slack in the trooper’s arms, you concoct the beginnings of a plan to escape from this sarlacc pit. Based on what you know from previously caught traitors…using that word liberally right now… he should have about two more days until Ren has exhausted him enough. That gives you a small window of time to see guard changes and finalize your plan.

Before you know it, your door is opened and you’re thrown in without a glance, having to catch yourself to not hit your head. Just as you’re about to look at them and glare, the door closes, officially blocking you off from the rest of the ship.

With a huge sigh, you hang your head back and cover your face with your hands. Truly, what had you even done? And why couldn’t you ever get a break? Every other officer or leader was given time off, although sparingly, to pursue relaxation. But in the past almost year, everything seemed to be collapsing around you, squeezing the air out of you as it fell, determined to put you into the ground.

Your hands fall back to your side as you look between the refresher and your bed, picking between the two becoming one of the hardest choices you’ve had to make today. A shower would probably let you sleep better, plus you did work out today…so a shower it is.

You strip your clothes from your body as you make your way to the refresher, not caring enough if your room is considered untidy to the few people who may be allowed to enter or at least look inside. You don’t even spare a glance at the mirror as you walk past it, turning on the shower and not waiting for it to heat up, the shock of the cold seamlessly being replaced by a comforting warmth that lulls your eyelids. You quickly wash yourself, the prospect of getting into bed rapidly taking over your thoughts. When you get out and dry yourself off, you pull on your military-issued sleepwear and slump onto your bed, taking a look at your clock before your eyes close and you become dead to the world.

Hours later, you wake up with a start. Your room is left exactly how you left it, the only thing that changed being the time on the clock. 20:09. When you looked at the clock last it had been around 16:00, so knowing you hadn’t slept longer quelled the guilt in you for so eagerly going to sleep when you had someone you needed to rescue.

As if on cue, a stormtrooper opens your door, and without passing the frame, sets the tray of food they brought down to the ground before shutting you off again. Your stomach grumbles and you heavily consider grabbing the tray from the floor before paranoia of being drugged changes your mind. However, you still tread over to the door, grabbing the utensils and then toeing the tray away before sitting with your ear to the door.

You sit like that for hours, silence and the low hum of the ship mostly being the only thing you hear. At times the hum is comforting and you have to jolt yourself awake to keep the threat of sleep at bay. So far you heard one guard change, which was at 00:00, and as you hear more footsteps approaching at 06:00, you stand up and slide the tray back to where it was put. You slide into bed as soon as your door glides open again, a scoff coming from the stormtrooper as they pick up your dinner and replace it with breakfast.

You continue to lie in bed, pulling your plan together as you twirl the utensils you were given between your fingers. As you finalize it, you think to yourself that it wouldn’t be a good idea to go into space, much less another planet dressed in sleepwear, so you change into your all-black leisure outfit and some shoes so that you be both prepared and in place when you land.

Now all you had to do was wait.

Eventually, they bring you dinner, and at that point you were poised to strike. As soon as the stormtrooper brought it, you took the handle of the spoon and jammed it into the weak point of the armor covering their knee, followed by a kick to the ground. They groan as they fall and you take their blaster, aiming it at the guards who were alerted by the groan of their counterpart, drawing their own weapons. You manage to shoot one before they can do anything, but you duck and roll away from the other, who retaliates with a blaster shot. You land a kick to the side of their knee, faltering them, and you take the chance to shoot a hole through their chest.

You grab their blaster too and take off running to the interrogation rooms, alarms now blaring through the halls as the people you run past let out exclamations and yelps of surprise. Some take the chance to run after you too, but leap for cover as you shoot behind you.

You’re panting as you reach the interrogation wing, quickly glancing through all the windows before your eyes settle on a dazed Denel strapped to a chair. Smacking the button, the door opens with a cloud of smoke and causes him to flinch.

“Hey, hey, it’s me.” His eyes bolt open.

“Wha-How are you here? Why?” His voice is strained as if he’s been yelling for hours straight, which he probably has.

You rush over to him, focusing on getting him out of the straps as your fingers shake, unable to steady themselves enough to grip. Taking a deep breath, ignoring the heavy eyes on you that wait for your response, and you restart your attempt to get the straps undone, successful this time.

“I’m getting you out. You don’t deserve to die because of someone else’s faults.”

You manage to get all of the straps undone and you hoist him up to lean against you as he recovers feeling back into his limbs. Silently, you hand over the blaster to him, which he grips tightly in his free hand.

“Let’s go.”

The two of you exit the room and make your way down the hall, but you stop, hearing the sound of multiple soldiers as their feet meet the ground at a run. You pull Denel behind a panel that faces away from the approaching crowd, crossing your fingers that they won’t look to their side to see the two of you hiding. With bated breath, you wait for the stormtroopers to come and go. Denel starts to shift his weight off of you, but you still keep your hands on him to make sure he doesn’t fall once you start to run again. Once the troopers have finally passed, you meet Denel’s eyes and suck in a breath, moving out of your hiding spot and continuing your run to get to a ship.

When you pull him in the opposite direction of the TIE fighters, he shoots you a confused look.

“Where are you going?”

You give him one back, “The supply hangar. You don’t think they’ll expect us to try to get in a fighter?”

His face relaxes out of the confusion as he thinks about it, “You’re right, there’s going to be less resistance going there than there will be in the fighter hangar.”

“See, I wasn’t a commander for nothing.” You smile at him and he gives you an unknown look in return. As you pass another corner, a crowd of troopers sees you making your escape and they all let the lasers of their blasters fly.

You narrowly miss the wall of fire as the two of you hide behind another panel, shooting back and hitting a few in the front. Denel soon joins you and the numbers in the crowd rapidly fall. Thank kriff for those horrible helmets. As the last one falls, you tap your partner and move, running light on your feet so you don’t signal another emergency patrol.

When you get to the hangar, you poke your head in and glance around, seeing the odd custodian here and there unloading a ship on the far corner of the hangar, away from the small line of ships without a crew. You signal Denel to follow you, motioning with your head to the line. He gives you a single nod and you turn your head back to your destination, keeping your eyes peeled for someone that might see you as you crouch and move lightly to keep noise at a minimum.

In perhaps the luckiest thing to happen to you so far, no one notices you, and you both load onto the carrier and head up to the cockpit, frantically beginning the takeoff sequence as Denel joins your efforts.

“You ready?” He gives you a look filled with trepidation as he opens his mouth, eyebrows beginning to pull together.

You interrupt any thought of surrender, “Either Kylo kills us or we die escaping.”

He breathes out deeply, nodding his head and closing his eyes, “Yeah, yeah I know that. Let’s do this.”

You do a tight-lipped smile as you look away from him and press the button to kickstart the engine. At that, the personnel unloading supplies snap their heads to you, running and waving their arms as you pull the controls toward the exit, steadily increasing speed.

A few levels above you Kylo waits eagerly for a moment he dreamed of, aware that you’re still on the ship but unaware you’re about to break through the exit. Naively, he held to his faith that the stormtroopers would either catch you or you’d be led into his presence in the hangar–but he put too much hope into them.

As he feels your signature getting weaker in proximity, he twists around and sees a cargo ship fly close to the fighter exit, knowing that it must be you.

“Get them!” He yells, voice ricocheting off of the walls as available pilots scramble to get into their TIE fighters. However, just as the first few breach the field to chase you, your ship enters hyperspace and far out of his grasp.

#enemies to friends to lovers #enemies to lovers #poe dameron #poe dameron smut #poe dameron x female reader #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron/reader #poe dameron x you

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