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rileyslibrary · 1 year

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Ghost finds out that you never learned how to ride a bike.

A/N: Thank you for suggesting this, anon. I hope your mother-in-law bought you a bomb-ass bike with a basket at the front and everything.

———————————————————————

“No way.”

“Yes.”

“Not even once?”

“What do you mean ‘not even once’?”

The conversation started when the lieutenant entered your shared office with two fingers bandaged together. Before you could ask what happened, his eyes caught yours, and he instinctively raised his hand, displaying the injury.

He explained that it happened while he and a group of soldiers were repairing one of the barracks. His pinky got caught in a plumping pipe, and because of the noise, they couldn’t hear him yelling at them to stop pushing. So the medic immobilised the fractured pinky by securing it to the ring finger to restrict its range of motion and let it heal.

He reassured you that the damage was minor and nothing to be concerned about, but he appeared defeated by having to bear this for the time being. You wished him a speedy recovery and then addressed the elephant in the room—how would he be able to carry the drill exercise scheduled for tomorrow?

He shrugged and admitted that the exercise had to be cancelled for now. Still, that wouldn’t pose a problem since military procedures are deeply ingrained and not easily forgotten.

“It’s like riding a bike.” He said.

And that’s what struck your current discussion—when you sneered at his analogy and admitted that you wouldn’t know since you never learned how to ride one.

He now stands there, speechless, and looks at you like you’re an alien that just landed on his back porch.

“Did you try and give up, or no one taught you how?”

“Do I look like I give up easily, Lt.?” You ask and shrug with your right shoulder. “No one taught me how to ride one.”

His eyes soften, and he looks out the window.

“Jesus Christ, kid.” He mutters, “Guess we found something else to do for tomorrow.”

“No way.” You state, shaking your head.

“Yes.” He replies and nods.

—————————— >> ———————————

Ghost left you a note on your desk this morning.

It said “warehouse, 10 a.m.” which was both weird and funny, considering how cryptic that message was for the purpose of the meeting.

You approach the warehouse and attempt to open the door, only to find that it’s locked. Suddenly, a sharp “pst!” grabs your attention from nearby, prompting you to follow the voice that’s guiding you behind the building.

There stands Ghost, with a worn-out bike next to him. He’s hugging a helmet with his injured hand and holding pairs of knee, elbow, and wrist pads with the other.

“Where did you find that?” You ask, pointing to the bike.

“In this warehouse; I found it a couple of years ago,” he replies. “I didn’t want to throw it away, so I fixed it and left it there.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You call this ‘fixed’?”

“It may not be a fucking Bianchi, kid, but it gets the job done,” he says and extends the gear towards you. “Put these on,” he orders, “I’ll help you with the knee pads.”

He kneels down, gently tapping your leg, indicating you to lift it.

“Isn’t that a little excessive?” You ask, “All that safety gear?”

He huffs and looks up at you. “Do you want to end up with a fractured pinky like me?”

“No, sir.”

“Lift your leg then.”

He adjusts your helmet and secures the knee pads, ensuring they’re correctly positioned. Then, he inspects the elbow and wrist pads to ensure they’re in the right place. Finally, he gives the saddle a firm slap, indicating you to hop on the bike.

You do as instructed, and he checks the bike, adjusting the seat height, handlebars, and brakes to fit your size. With you gripping the handlebars, he begins the lesson.

“Two things,” he says, raising the corresponding fingers on his uninjured hand. “Balance and coordination.”

“Balance and coordination.” You echo.

He nods, puts his hands behind his back, and paces around the bike.

“We’ll begin with the first one, which happens to be the most challenging, I must warn you,” he explains, “and then progress to the rest.”

“Balance is the hardest one.” You repeat.

“Yes, indeed. First, you’ll have to learn how to balance on that bike. Once you succeed, we’ll synchronise your turning, pedalling, and braking movements. Ready?”

“Not really.”

“Let’s get started then.”

—————————— >> ———————————

He’s right. Balancing that thing is difficult. At first, he instructs you to use your feet to push yourself forward while seated on the bike, gradually progressing to longer strides.

Then he commands you to pedal. He walks next to you, holding one of the handlebars with his uninjured hand and guiding the bike to help with balance. Occasionally, when he feels you have control, he lets go of the handlebar. But every now and then, you waver. And when that happens, he intervenes and puts his hand back on the handlebar.

And this continued until he felt confident that you were ready to give it your first try.

“What if I fall?”

“You will fall.”

“But I don’t want to.”

“You have to,” he insists, “that’s the only way you’ll learn.”

He stands behind you, holding the back of the saddle. He maintains his grip as you pedal, stabilising and guiding the bike. He jogs beside you, encouraging you.

And yes, there were countless falls. But each time, Ghost was there, lifting you up, brushing off the dirt, and urging you to give it another try.

The lesson began at 10 a.m. You have no idea what time it is now. Ghost has been so persistent that he must have also lost track of time.

“Lt,” you call out as you pedal for the hundredth time, “I think it’s time for a break; you must be tired as well.”

No response.

“Lt.?” You repeat.

Silence.

You turn halfway to address him, but he’s nowhere to be found.

Panic sets in, throwing off your balance, and you tumble to the ground once again. This time, he’s no longer there to catch you.

You look back at your starting point—Ghost is standing there with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

You look at the bike and then back at him. Your eyes widen. You point your finger at the bike, then at yourself.

He nods and lifts his hand in the air, giving a thumbs up.

“I did it!” You shout and run towards him, guiding the bike next to you.

“I saw,” he replies, and his eyes crease in joy, “but why didn’t you ride it back?”

“I think I need more practice.” You explain.

“We can continue practising after our break,” he suggests. “Good job, kid; I’m proud of you.”

“It’s all because of you, Lieutenant,” you say, “thank you for everything.”

He chuckles and tilts his head.

“Look,” he says, lifting his injured pinky. “This one needs support from this one to heal,” he explains, pointing to his ring finger.

“So I’m the pinky,” you say, “because you, the ring finger, taught me how to ride a bike.”

He lets out a sigh, shifting his gaze to the ground.

“Depends on who you ask,” he murmurs, “maybe I’m the broken one, and you’re helping me heal.”

———————————————————————

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cer-rata · 19 days

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Goddesses That Would Be Better Wonder Woman Antagonists Than Hera

Enough with Hera as a bitter, manipulative, shortsighted hag!!!

WE GET IT! HERA HATES ZEUS'S BASTARD KIDS! SHE GETS MAD ABOUT IT! ENOUGH! SHE HAS OTHER TRAITS!

*Cough*

I'm so sick of media making Hera a flat, hysterical cunt, especially compared to the general moral nuance that her entire pantheon represents. It's just lazy at this point and done to death, and for Wonder Woman to have to fight a woman who's main grievance is being cheated on and generally mistreated by her husband again and again again and again like...optics people.

So here are my choice picks for goddesses of other pantheons (and one Greek on) that would be interesting obstacles to Diana, both ideologically and materially. Also! I say antagonists on purpose, because generally in polytheism, gods aren't truly evil, even if they have negative attributes, it's always more complicated than that, and while these ladies WILL cause some conflict, they're all more than just flat villains. Most could reasonably also be allies, and Diana is all about making her foes into friends.

Skadi

A goddess and Jotunn, Skadi is the queen of bowhunting, skiing and winter, generally. Famous for storming Asgard alone to avenge her father, and being intimidating enough for Odin to choose to attempt to appease her instead, Skadi is intense, and fittingly cold, but also fair and capable of seeing reason. Her tentative truce with Odin and her failed marriage to the god of the summer, Njord, could be ripe to twist into reasons to cast her eye towards current events, both divine and mortal. A proud, mighty giantess that will do what she deems necessary to see justice done to herself? You can do stuff there.

Izanami-no-Mikoto

The Shinto creation deity turned goddess of death, Izanami is upset! Very upset! And fairly so! She's like if Eurydice got really livid after Orpheus ignored her simple instructions and vowed to break all of his little toys. Because that is exactly what happened, they almost have the same myth. As revenge for him messing up her resurrection, Izanami vowed to kill 1k people each day to hurt her husband, Izanagi, the other creator deity. Izanagi responded by making 1.5k new people each day, which...I mean solves maybe the wrong end of the problem but...

Unlike Hera, she poses an active threat to mortals and has the power to make dealing with her difficult. Maybe Diana and Amaterasu have to team up to deal with her insane...uh...step mother? Kind of? It's a little complicated, I'm not going into it, Wikipedia is your friend.

Ishtar

I'm going to be honest she's my mythology blorbo and I made this post for her okay--

The Mesopotamian goddess of love, war, conquest, divine law, the Queen of Heaven, patron of queer folk (No I'm not making that up, she's down for the gays mythologically speaking), Ishtar is complicated, a little strange, and funny, so funny. She's got a short temper, is easily offended, yet is generally fair and uninterested in harm coming to mortals. Her bit thing is how her conquest domain often manifests. She doesn't care about leading armies or whatever, she goes to attempts to swindle or fight other gods for their domains. Her big famous myth is about her hubris in attempting to single-handedly storm the underworld to steal the seat from her sister. She's incredibly powerful and self assured, a little petty, but not cruel. If you want a goddess who will show up, slap Diana down a city block and intend it as a friendly hello, while also vaguely suggesting that they make out, it's Ishtar. She's a perfect occasional antagonist/ally depending on her whims, and she's so disinterested in bothering humanity that you can really have mostly consequence free god fights. An arc where she decides that Ares is starting to embarrass the war god community and she's going to beat his ass and take his job? Diana has to try to get her to stop without offending her and making it a personal problem? Because again this woman is crazy, she has beaten a mountain to death because it wouldn't bow. It was not a sentient mountain. She'd be so much fun!

And we're going to ignore the version of her that showed up in "Black Adam" because that was boring, lame, and focused completely on the sexual angle, because straight men can only focus on one trait at a time--

Pele

Polynesian goddess of volcanoes, Pele fills a lot of the same niche's as Ishtar here, in that her rage and displeasure is catastrophic, befitting the personification of a volcano. Though even as a volcano god she's notably scary, in some tellings the previous volcano god who occupied the volcano she lives in now, caught wind that she was coming in his general direction--not specifically for him mind you, just in his direction--and he fled for his life, vacating the volcano. She's as multifaceted as a volcano though, bringing life as well as destruction. But you know. Her domain IS a natural disaster, so it's not hard to create a scenario where Diana would need to try to stop that from being a thing. Bonus points if she's irritated about the colonization of Hawaii, that could be an interesting narrative for Diana to contend with.

Nemesis

DC dropped the ball here as well, don't look her up, you REALLY don't want to see her design, it's nasty.

Anyway, Nemesis is the goddess of retribution, but SPECIFICALLY for the crime of "hubris" or arrogance against the gods. She punishes you for thinking you're hot stuff in comparison to the divine. She's the reason Narcissus fell in love with his own reflection and died. She did that. She thought he was a bitch, and she was correct. Why is that distinction important? Because she's not just vengeance, she's a tool to defend the honor and ego of the gods. Who in the DC universe would make the Greek gods feel disrespected and threatened? An alien who is willing to punch them in the face perhaps? We could have Diana desperately trying to stop this divine terminator from messing up her super friends who really don't understand the levels of petty the her pantheon is willing to stoop to to save face. Shes a winged warrior goddess with a heart of stone!!! Give us that fight!!!

Anything but Hera!!! Anything!!! Leave her alone!!!!

#dc comics #wonder woman #diana of themyscira #dc meta #wonder woman meta #hera #ishtar #skadi #izanami #nemesis #pele

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lawbin-archive · 4 months

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Law & Robin analysis: Punk Hazard

I finally have some free time to re-read punk hazard and write my analysis. (have been busy with life in general :/) Someone on twitter asked me to write a chronology of lawbin's relationship, so I will just do it arc by arc.

Again, if you don't like lawbin, just don't read it. Please be civilize and respect each other.

As usual, I blab a lot in my analysis so just skimming if you want to. I will use purple to indicate my delulu thoughts.

~LAWBIN STRANGER PHASE~

Chapter 503: Law & Robin first met

When I read this chapter or even when I watching punk hazard for the first time, I didn't really associate Law and Robin together. I just think they are both really cool and rational. But after I ship them, as I re-reading these chapters, my only thought is - they are really similar in so many ways.

The first time law appeared in front of luffy resemble Robin first appearance on going merry so much. I mean did you see their aura?! did you see the both cross their leg?! did you see them saying "we are bad ass" on their face?! did you see they are both wearing their signature hat?! Bepo is even doing Robin's pose (face resting on their hand) They are both so cool T-T

If I'm Law here, seeing Robin falling from the sky like an angel, I will 100% falling for her. Plus, she's the only person from straw hats recognize him. He probably recognize Robin right away too he just didn't say it because straw hats got famous after Eneis Lobby. And Robin is the devil child for 20 years, so he probably already know her and her background. Maybe he alliance with straw hats, just to get closer with Robin (jk)

Let's fast forward to Punk Hazard! Chapter 663: Reunion two years later

Tashigi probably asked herself: What's wrong with this couple?! Why they need to threaten me like that?! LOL Again, they are really similar when the marine gets in their way. Show no mercy. Reading this makes me feel like Law (Sabaody -> Punk Hazard) = Robin (Alabasta).

Law also saves Luffy in Marineford like Robin did in Alabasta, it also happends before they join or alliance with Luffy. They both save Luffy because he's a D. (I just assume, they both said something about D after saving Luffy).

I always think did Oda make them similar on purpose? I think Oda didn't make them similar on purpose before Dressrosa. He probably just reusing some of the plots but accidentally make them so compatible together. Why would I think that? one of the reasons is there are so many Franky x Robin moments in Punk Hazard. If the source I read is correct, Law and Robin get popular during and after Dressrosa and I think that's the reason why there are more lawbin interactions later on. Not that I think Oda really care popular opinion, it's more like why not since they are so similar?! just my opinion tho.

I blab a lot again, I will show more moments later on about Law Punk Hazard vs. Robin Alabasta!

Once they met again, Robin is again the first one know his name and know he became a warlord. She also probably read the news that how he became a warlord. Hence, that's why she is worried when Luffy alliance with him. But as time passed, she definitely changed her perspective on Law gradually. As you see here, she is still very cautious about him. But once she learned that he healed Luffy, she surprised, a pirate treated another pirate without purpose?! maybe in Robin's mind, Law isn't a really bad pirate to her anymore.

Chapter 668: Alliance

Robin looked super worried here. Although maybe Law isn't a really bad pirate to Robin, she probably thinks he is still a very dangerous pirate that's why she warned Luffy about him. It's kind of funny to me though, she just says it in front of him, screaming "I don't trust you bro" lol Luffy is even funnier - "Are you gonna betray me?" "No" Ok we good haha To be honest, I'm not against with the Luffy and Robin are siblings theory because they are really similar in some way. Anyways, Robin still trust Luffy no matter what, so I think from this moment, she is also trying to trust Law like Luffy did. This scene also reminds me so much when Robin joins the crew. The crew is very cautious and Luffy just said "She isn't a bad guy" - The coincidence LOL. Ok I changed my mind maybe Oda made them similar on purpose. Law & Robin also are the ones who initiated a relationship with Luffy. And it happens rarely to Luffy since he is always the one who picks his crew. And Robin is the only straw hats who asked to join the crew and not Luffy asking her.

~LAWBIN ALLIANCE PHASE~

Chapter 668: Alliance Starts!

Law and chopper moment and mammy Robin didn't against with it haha. She is giving me the *Please take my son carefully* vibe and Law *panics*.

From here, Law and Robin starting to show their similarities in personality and experience wise. They both paid a lot of attention to what the world government do and both very analytical. One of the optwt accounts also comment about lawbin “it’s not about how many scenes they are together, it’s mainly about what they have in common” which I agree a lot!

Chapter 669 ~ 677: Same cage as Alabasta

Again - angel fallen from heaven?! How can you not fall for her?! Robin also told Luffy to be quiet about the kidnap, seems like she accepted their alliance and starting to follow Law's plan. From scale 1 - 100%, I would say Robin trusted Law 20% here.

Rare scene of Robin calling "Law" instead of "Tora-o". When I read this, I feel like Robin is impressed of Law's ability already. Feel like she always has been (in Wano too), it's definitely a handy ability for her in so many ways.

Robin and Luffy reminiscing Alabasta moment - one of the proof that Punk Hazard is so similar to Alabasta even they said so haha. If that's the case, I think Oda really make Law so similar to Robin on purpose (scratch the part I said earlier). Even their clothes are similar in some way. Robin's jacket is leopard pattern which is similar to Law's hat, jacket and jeans pattern. Also, Law's animal resemblances are spotted seal and snow leopard. (but this arc released before Law's animal revelation so probably just coincidence)

Law, I know this woman is really pretty, you don't need to keep looking at her. (jk I think he's looking at franky haha)

And Law cares about Chopper even they just met T-T he used his power to throw a paper to Chopper and remind him to not risk himself. Seriously, who the hell say he is mean to chopper? (i'm gonna have my rage again)

Chapter 694 ~ 696: Party

This scene really reminds me of Robin a lot haha saying scary things in a clam manner. If I really need to pick a difference, Law dark thoughts are more logical though, he is just stating the fact. Robin dark thoughts are more creative haha.

Law this moment also reminds me of skypeia Robin - when she suggests Luffy to be careful but of course turns out he didn't listen to them anyways. and Law & Robin panic hahaha.

That's why Punk Hazard Law is basically Alabasta Robin + when Robin trying to blend in with the straw hats. He is still trying to learn how Luffy acts and building trust between them just like what Robin did back then.

That's the end for Punk Hazard! I thought it would be shorter because they only have a few moments but yea I blab a lot LOL In conclusion, I would say Law and Robin is still in Stranger -> Ally phase. Robin and Law barely trust each other in this arc. But I think during this arc, they found out their personality and thoughts are similar. Hence, that's lead to the huge development of their relationship in the next arc. At least, Robin saw Law did what he plans, helped them save the kids even he didn't need to and didn't betray them after they caught Ceaser. She definitely started trusting him more, maybe 40%? haha

I definitely need a bit time to re-read Dressrosa. So the next analysis probably take some time! anyways, thanks for reading again!! always feel free to let me know your thoughts <3

#trafalgar law #nico robin #law #robin #punk hazard #one piece #lawbin

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buggyandthebartoclub · 8 months

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Some SFW Goofy / Silly HC's for Shachi!! For my beloved @mandiemegatron - my beloved Shachi mutual <3 THESE HC ARE SFW MY BLOG IS NOT head the warnings above! Ageless blogs without 'adult' in bio will be blocked if you interact!

Goofy/Random Shachi HC's (Silly/Goofy Shachi in love at the bottom as a bonus)

Music taste alternates between heavy rock and the cringiest shit you’ve ever heard bc it made him laugh ( He and Penguin listen to bbno$ and Yung Gravy, and I think that’s hilarious - pry that one from my cold dead hands.)

LOVES puns. I mean, just look at his fucking hat!

Also loves being cheesy/cheesy stuff. Silly poses, cringe outfits, bad puns, b rated movies, tacky patterns, you name it. If it makes a normal person cringe even just a little he LOVES it! (Again.. look at his hat!)

Also likes cute stuff like Law, but not embarrassed by it (see above point) and will go overboard w it if he’s messing w Law (imagine that one post of them all going to see the barbie movie?? Pen made Law promise for them dress up for it but Shachi got the outfits ready that’s how I imagined that happening anyway )

Either super great or absolute dog shit at games. No in between. Avoids the ones he sucks at like the plague. Is a sore loser and WILL pout if he’s lost enough times (still pouts even if he only loses a little but its more subtle and he can get over it quicker lol)

His jokes/humor are also the same as his style and game talents, His jokes are usually cheesy, and either really fuckin funny or absolute cringiest shit you’ve ever heard, almost no in-between

Loves pranks. Goes without saying really

Has this uncanny knack for finding things people would be unable to decide if they like or not, like say a keychain of their fave character for example, but the character is doing some weird bizarre ooc shit or its some on the most unhinged knock off of the original they’ve ever seen

Will tell you wrong information with his whole ass chest. He believes it. He is a a bit dumbass. Himbo-y if you will. Is shocked when he realizes he is in fact wrong and thinks you’re fucking with him. Always takes a minute to convince him he’s actually wrong even though no one is ever fucking with him when they tell him he’s wrong NOT saying he is rude or mean about it is just genuinely shocked he’s wrong what do you MEAN you’re serious that much salt doesn’t go in there you’re just trying to mess him up haha Ikaku… oh shit Ikaku was serious!! that was too much salt wtf!!

Hes always joking so he thinks everyone else is too sometimes… to his own detriment occasionally lol, always says sorry after for not taking them seriously after with an embarrassed laugh ————Silly/Goofy in Love Shachi HC’s————

Mad dumb when in love/crushing

Im talking giggly, wiggly, ramp up the funny guy act by 10 (at first, he does chill out the longer the crush lasts/the more he’s around them/the more developed the relationship is)

Mixes up words a lot and says lots of goofy shit, esp when trying to be punny AND flirty, his poor brain can’t always keep up

Heartfelt/over the top romantic, gets pretty cheesy

Cheesy is honestly core staple of his personality, you have to love laughing and having fun to be with him for sure because that’s what fills most of your days together if you’re with him

Is a tickle monster, uses it to his advantage to get more cuddles and/or kisses in And make his partner laugh

If he thinks something about him turns his partner/crush on/they like that about him will go out of his way to try and show off even after getting together. Like his arms? Will tie down the top half of his suit and claim to be hot while working.. when its super cold lol - not subtle at all, plays dumb when teased about it

Dishes it out way harder than he can take it, is a bit of a baby if teased too much- will deny at all costs. Still tells you if it was a good burn tho later on

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snepdragon · 1 year

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this panel is rly funny to me bc Kid and Luffy look so ready to kick ass but Law just looks like he's posing

same with this one. Zoro and Killer at least have their weapons out but Law..

just hanging out

#yea the rocks above kaido are his doing and he has his room active but out of context its like hes just there #snep rambles #one piece #wano arc #onigashima #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #eustass kid #roronoa zoro #monkey d luffy #killer one piece

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dl-yum · 5 months

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ACTOR/ ACTRESS AU! ONE PIECE CHARACTERS

Ace

•actor!Ace start as a child actor and start doing romance movie. •he is know for his first movie character where he is the hot big brother of the male lead • he actually become so popular that the writer of the movie made another story where he is the male lead • He find action movie more fun to do but apparently the romance genre is just for him •Is actually sweetheart he will try to take a photo with his fan as much as he can •Always love to take food gifts from His fan •He is one of those actor who is overly confident but! He is kind •There is one time when paparazzi trying to take a secretly photo of him while he is in pool. When he see the paparazzi he start to pose and even let the paparazzi go in and give them a juice while he start to look for his photo • he also came from family of actors!

Luffy

•Actor!Luffy Also know to be a child actor!

•he is more on comedy side of the movie industry.

•for some reason luffy always get the little brother who is pain in the ass character

• He is know for that one character where he played the main character who is a pirate (yk hahaha)

• If you don't see him on movies you will see him in some game show or reality show (mostly eating game show)

•There is some joke going around in the internet that if you want to meet actor! luffy just go in the EAT ALL YOU CAN restaurant

•He Also know to be the actor who always use his social media to help people and sometimes you will see him doing live talking shit about the government

•luffy and ace actually have movie where they are brother which is funny cause they are brother in really life

•He is brother with ace that means he came from family of actor

Sabo

•Actor!sabo also start as a child actor

• He dont have many movies when he grow up since he didn't see himself being a celebrity but he still do it as a hobby

•Actor!Sabo is know to be and always be the second male lead in any romace movie he even got the tittle 'The second choice-man' which he found funny

• Since he don't do much acting he start going to Law school

•Even he don't have many movies, Everyone in the industry know that if you have sabo in your movie that shit will be sold out!

•He really have a loyal fandom

•He is brother with actor!ace and luffy

•Actor!Sabo known to be the most private in the siblings but he still use his social media platform for awareness like luffy!

•Actor!Sabo known for not taking any lead character in a movie he always preferred to be a side character or supporting one.

• He also came from Family of actor

All in all

• They ASL brother is one of known actor in the world

•They actually all start as a Child actor in one movie where they act as a siblings

•Sabo study law so if luffy and ace got in trouble he will save them

•One time the three of them have Photoshoot and its shirtless and let's just say the brand sale rate just go the hell up

• One time they have interview where they ask if who is the first one who got girlfriend and they answer "I don't know, I don't care probably not me" "Probably not luffy" and " I would even shock someone want to date those two"

• there's one time where luffy got in scandal for punching a girl and when he asked why he do that he answer " she deserve it"

•The three of them have YouTube Channel and sabo is the one who take care of it.

@dl.yum

#dl.yumyum #dl.yum #one piece #luffytaro #monkey d luffy #one piece fanfiction #anime #one piece au

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phantatrix · 10 months

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My preconceptions of Ace Attorney before actually playing the games

[Based on the whole franchise rather than any individual games since I don't know what happens in what game specifically]

I only remember like 3 character names but it seems like everyone has the weirdest sounding names imaginable

Before checking if The Great Ace Attorney was on the switch, I thought it was a sequel series to Ace Attorney and that Apollo Justice was the protagonist but it turns out it takes place in the late 19th century so never mind on that

There’s something heartbreaking that happens just before Christmas even though this is meme by the fandom every year. I think someone important to the main cast dies or something

Refining my new take on Apollo Justice (since I was wrong about what The Great Ace Attorney was) is that he’s actually in the first series and he’s Phoenix Wright’s nephew (either biological, adopted, or a found family situation)

The magician girl is Phoenix’s adopted daughter and she’s bffs with Apollo Justice

There’s a racist vampire. I think he’s in TGAA but either this series is an urban fantasy or there just happens to be one vampire who’s there for some unknown reason and everyone rolls with it

Phoenix went to art school but discovered that his childhood friend Miles Edgeworth (whom he hasn’t seen in years) had enrolled in law school so he also goes to law school so he can catch up with him

There’s this one guy who has a huge mental breakdown from law school and he goes through major depression but his friends try to help him through it (I’m sorry I can’t be more specific I really don’t know any of these characters names, I just recognize him from angsty fan art my friend has drawn before)

This Tumblr post does a great job summarizing how I imagine Phoenix and Miles to be like during the trials https://pauladrawsnstuff.tumblr.com/post/720025716031356928/audio-from-themornal

This is less of a preconception and more of a wish. But, like in danganronpa v3, I really hope that there’s an option to lie in court cause that’d be so funny. Let phoenix have a little perjury as a treat

There’s straight up a dude named Herlock Sholmes. I really wish he was the protagonist of one of the games but I know he's a side character more than anything

It turns out that there is a trilogy for Apollo Justice so I was super wrong about him showing up in the ace attorney trilogy (I guess I have no idea who Apollo is in this franchise)

Apollo is somehow going to be the most normal protagonist not because he's actually normal but because everyone else is so much more ridiculously eccentric and weird

Oh my God is there a sentient magical hat named Mr hat??? Out of everything I most want this to be true. I'm begging (but for real is ace attorney an urban fantasy?? I thought this was about a normal ass lawyer??)

Omg one of the characters does the ghost trick death pose and I can't wait to learn these characters names cause I super don't know

There's some sort of martial artist who's part of the cast and I think hes quick to square up with people, like he has a super short temper except around his friends

Ace Attorney games 5 and 6 are straight up bad it turns out (I'm hoping these aren't part of the Apollo justice trilogy cause he looks like such a neat guy and he deserves everything good in the world)

Phoenix canonically calls Edgeworth "daddy" (this isn't a preconception, my friend straight up told me and this convinced me even more to play the games)

I know ace attorney predates ghost trick and danganronpa but I bet there's gonna be some of the most complex murder schemes known to mankind that'll be uncovered in the trials like the two games I mentioned (I have heard danganronpa described as ace attorney meets battle royale so I'm super stoked about the mystery investigation sections of aa)

I don't know how much later the Apollo justice trilogy takes place from the aa trilogy but phoenix is gonna pretend that he's not really phoenix and there's gonna be some big plot twist where reveals himself and he tells Apollo how proud he is of him to solve a near impossible case

#ace attorney #just bought the first aa trilogy to get this ball rolling and im so stoked to play #making a list like this is something that i meant to do with undertale and danganronpa before i started playing #since ive heard about them for years before i finally sat down to play #but hey i remembered to do this before ace attorney so thats something #this list is stuff thats come to my head recently as ive thought about aa and theres probably more stuff ive heard over the years #but this is a good enough list cause i just wanna jump right in and see how much of this is canon or fanon/ headcanon #or just straight up a massive misinterpretation from what ive learned through osmosis from fans over the years #its funny how i dont know anything about the plot of the games despite how much fan art and character discussions ive seen

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lyramundana · 11 months

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Drabble based on my forgotten wip:

The boys are having another photoshoot, this time for a brand of clothes that has accepted to sponsor them. The pictures have to give off serious, seductive vibes, but there are certain two who can’t get into it. They’re either eating each other with their eyes or posing like they would in a normal group picture. Seeing this is making the process difficult for all and they need to get it done, Chan decides to call Violeta and asks her to “do her magic again”.

- I’m sorry, you want me to what? - she replies confused from the phone.

-You know what I mean. Just come here and do what you did last time.

-You want me to make them laugh? But isn’t the photoshoot concept supposed to be “sexy”? How does that help?

-Not laugh. Just come here and...provoke them.

That’s even more ridiculous. Violeta gets annoyed and more confused.

-Provoke them? Are you hearing yourself?! What do you have in mind with that, ‘Topher? Me going and give them a strip show or something? If this is a joke, it’s not fucking funny - she huffs, laying back on her seat. She just wanted to enjoy her coffee in peace while listening to Chase Atlantic to start the day, but now she has to hear her potential brother-in-law encouraging her to go and seduce a couple, who are pretty much engaged at this point and, on top of all, one of them is fucking HOMOSEXUAL. Like, does he even hears himself when he talks? -Plus, even if I agreed, how exactly is that gonna work on Lee fucking Minho? Have you forgotten the guy is a walking rainbow?

-That’s not what I meant! Look..- he sighs, trying to find a way to convince her to come and explain it without outright revealing what’s going on in his head. It’s way too obvious and everyone else knows, but those three are still dead-set in denial, specially her.- I’m not asking anything weird from you. Just though they may cheer up a bit if you come here.

Then, Olivia comes out of nowhere and takes his phone, speaking in a firm tone - Look, idiot, there are hot models here from the agency and they’re in need of cold drinks. Bring some here and then you can flirt shamelessly with them until they plan to sue you. Deal?

Violeta munches her snacks slowly.

- Why do you really need me there, ‘Topher?

-Listen here little shit, call me that one more fuck..

-Leta, the next album Ateez pulls out is on me.

Silence.

- Hell, why didn’t you start with that, guys? Of course I’m going! Anything to help my family. Give me a few minutes-sounds of chairs loudly moving and clothes quick steps.

-By the way, don’t take the public transport. This hour is hellish and you wouldn’t ever find a spot - the older girl says.

-Sure, whatever. See you there. I’ll bring the drinks!

She hangs off, and Olivia returns the phone with a satisfied grin to a perplexed Christopher.

-Why did you say that?

-So she comes here walking. Sweat looks good on some people.

-And how do you think she’ll react when she sees there are no hot models here?

-What do you mean? There are plenty. Those two specially would definetly catch her eye. - she points her head at the two reasons they both orchestrated this whole crap, who are currently taking a break after another failed attempt in the camera and instead flirting with each other. - Plus, the promise of a signed Ateez album would make her happy enough for the remaining day.

Violeta arrives 20 minutes after the call, a bag of cold drinks in her hand. She’s wearing a crop top with a small hood that leaves her belly exposed, a pair of wavy shorts only the right amount of long to cover her ass cheeks and her long red hair pulled in a braid.

Chris and Olivia exchange a knowing glance. “It’s like she knows exactly what she’s supposed to do”

The younger girl walks up to them with a rather grumpy expresion, shoving the drinks towards them and complaining how crowded the damn Starbucks was.

- Thank you, Leta.

-Where are the hotties? -straight to her point. Olivia chuckles inwardly and fakes a sad face.

-They left no long ago. They had a lot of work to do and couldn’t stay any longer. Sorry.

Violeta throws her a glare that says she doesn’t believe a single word, but Olivia doesn’t let her think too much.

- Well, since you’re already here, could please be so kind to give the boys the drinks? They’re really tired and would love to have some. Thank you! - before Violeta can even protest, the older pushes her by the shoulders where the rest of members are, sitting around and talking.

She goes anyway, huffing and wondering in her mind how couldn’t she have been born a single child. She’s so focused on her annoyed thoughts that she doesn’t notice she passes by the main photography station, where two certain boys are attempting to get into character again, until they see her..

Uknowing to the turmoil she just created, she greets the members politely and passes them the drinks. She takes note both Han and Minho are missing and a small part of her feels sad about it, but she brushes that feeling off quickly. She has no reasons to feel sad. Instead, she focus on whatever Felix is telling her about, since he’s the only one in the group with whom she can have a full converstation now.

- By the way, this outfit looks great on you. How come I never see you with it? - the boy asks, twirling with a string of the hood and brushing his fingers on her neck ocassionally. She chuckled at the compliment.

-I mostly use it to work out, but you know, everything looks great on me.

-Oh, I know that. - he wiggles his eyebrows in apreciation and she laughs, shoving him off softly. He laughs too and goes back to his skinship. Violeta notices he’s being more affectionate than usual and, while she’s used to it and doesn’t mind, she feels something iffy about it right now.

Before she can think more, he suddenly cages her in his arms and hugs her tightly, burying his face in her neck and moving her from side to side. She’s caught off guard by the sudden display, even more when she feels his arms sneaking to her exposed waist. She looks around to check if anyone is seeing this, and what she ends up seeing cuts her breath short.

There they are, right in front of her, posing for plenty of flashing cameras and looking absolutely gorgeous with those clothes. People are giving them instructions, praising them and making them change positions, but their eyes remain fixed on her. It’s the first time she sees this kind of stare from them, thrown at her. The world around her stops and silences, and there’s only those dark eyes piercing her soul in ways she can’t describe. There’s a mysterious glint in them, something intense and, if Violeta didn’t know better, she would describe it as territorial. They’re completely serious and focused, and she feels her legs becoming jelly.

What’s going on? Why are they looking at her like that?? And why does she even feel like this???

By the time Felix stops hugging her, the eye contact is lost and she feels a bit out of place. Like her sould just went out of her body and returned. The boy’s sweet voice distracts her enough, but she can’t get it out of her mind. What the fuck was that? What just happened? She can’t even finds words to make it make sense in her head. Maybe she imagined it? Maybe it was just a short hallucination her mind created to mess up with her. Yeah. Sounds legit.

While they both return with the others, she notices Han and Minho walking towards them, the same serious faces still on.

They’re friends. They see each other often. She trusts them. It’s all good.

(Why is she feeling this strong urge to run away as they aproach?)

Something I had in mind since @2chopsticks2eyes‘s comment about that short scenario (she knows what I mean). @channieandhisgoonsquad you guys are free to add stuff or just give me opinions. Thank you.

@moonlightndaydreams (for context, Olivia is my OC for Bang Chan)

#poly minsung #minsung x oc #lee know/han jisung x reader #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz drabbles #lee know x oc #han jisung x oc

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science-lings · 2 months

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idk if I'm going to ever write for it so I'm gonna put it here, my reborn Yatagarasu AU. I guess if I get a little encouragement I'll want to write it more but I have to get some thoughts out or I will explode.

It started because I thought Beanix and Kay should meet and do crimes together. I think they should fight corruption and be overly dramatic while annoying Edgeworth. I mean, think about it, in the first game, Phoenix's whole thing was exposing notorious blackmailers and corrupted officials and generally being unafraid of facing mob families when everyone else is kinda scared to take any action.

before the cut to so much rambling, I need to get one question out of the way so...

anyway, lore below, I just didn't want to put that under the cut where no one will read far enough to see it lol

That and he also has experience with eccentric thieves. Also, they're both named after mythical birds and named specifically to be silly with their dialogue ('Mr. Wright, right?' "Kay 'kay?'). I also just want a reason for them to pose as father and daughter and be able to pull it off perfectly.

Now for actual plot stuff, I am of the opinion that Phoenix has acquired some weird-ass skills that he uses in weird-ass ways, I mean in canon he has a talent for bluffing and he uses it to absolutely dominate at poker. So I'm thinking this guy, who hasn't risked his life in over a year, fresh out of leads to fight the case with his disbarment, needs enrichment. This comes in the form of Kay investigating him out of interest as his role of 'that man' and discovering that he's pretty neat actually. She looks at his case files and finds him silly enough to recruit for a new project.

The re-emergence of the Yatagarasu is directly correlated to the dark age of the law and the increasing corruption practically everywhere. The law makers and law keepers of Japalifornia ignore the truth for their own self interest and that is Not Good. Kay recruits Ema, who is interning at the police department and on her way to becoming a detective turned forensic investigator. She is also stem girl extraordinaire who wants to use her tech for good and not to help the police. Funded by Franziska (because the best use of Manfred's fuck you money is actively fighting the corruption he was a part of) the Yatagarasu plan to expose as much corporate and legal filth as possible. Because to build a new legal system, the other one must be destroyed a bit.

In comes Phoenix, who through past cases and his work at the Borsht Bowl, just happens to have a pretty good amount of criminal connections. He's inconspicuous, already kind of undercover, and he knows how to get people to talk. He's disillusioned with the law and settled into a character that requires him to convincingly act at all times. Also his daughter is a magician and I think it would be really funny for him to learn a little sleight of hand and how to use throwing knives only for him to turn around and use those skills for Crime.

In return for info and his help with the Yatagarasu project, Phoenix gets more assistance in his investigation into Kristoph, which makes it easier to keep him and Trucy safe. Also in this AU Kristoph is worse and more invasive and more willing to cause problems if he catches Phoenix learning too much. Every one of their shared dinners consists of Kris poisoning Phoenix's wine and them switching it until they're both confused and Phoenix ends up drinking it but survives anyway.

Another part of this AU that I would want to touch upon would be Phoenix's reputation outside of being a fallen famous lawyer. I think that his work getting multiple mob members, prosecutors, a police chief, and generally terrifyingly powerful people incarcerated would get him noticed by people. I like to think that he's trying his best to look pathetic and depressed but the whispers around him make him sound kind of terrifying and it's only because of that that he feels secure enough to take Trucy along with him to the bowl for poker matches. He also is trying to learn her perceiving power, which he can't do but he does get really good at silently communicating with Trucy to the point that they become a kind of terrifying duo.

I just... weird girl crime group (Maya is not allowed, she'll just get falsely accused of murder again)

#this is all just an elaborate plot to get Phoenix to pretend to be Kay's parent so they can commit fraud #it's already canon that phoenix only cares about the crime of murder #he thinks thievery is a fun crime just as long as no one gets died #his sister got her culturally and personally important urn stolen and he was like 'lol funney masked man'#he appreciates the theatrics of the filler cases #i mean seriously they're all at a tv studio and a circus and with a dramatic heist #he can appreciate a good performance #Yatagarasu Reborn AU #Fem!Phoenix AU #phoenix wright #ace attorney #kay faraday #ema skye #pwaa #i hope this made sense i kinda just put words here

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itsyourstarboy · 1 year

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I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY

First off, IVAN!?!? YANDERE VERS!?!?!?

Erik just out here defying the laws of Echo like it ain't gonna get us hurt.

*cool glitch effects* "you will always be mine" *cool glitch effects*

I fucking knEW SOMETHING WAS UP

EW GET AWAY YOU STANK ASS GLITCHY BITCH

YOU ONE EYE HAVIN ASS SADISTIC FREAK

Anyway, enough about me being mad at Echo

————

The whole video I thought it was gonna end with Baby waking up from a nightmare. I have a feeling that, even though the department wiped their memories of the incident, brains don't just forget that sort of trauma.

But that didn't happen and I'm a little disappointed

————

ALSO I forgot how funny Ivan is to talk to 😆

"I'm protecting you from the people who wanted to take away your choices"

*Baby, spread eagle, tied to the bed* 👁️👁️

*Vega, T-posing in the corner* 🤠

#redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted ivan #redacted vega #redacted daemons #redacted sadisms hold #redacted spoilers

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death-and-other-myths · 1 year

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The Wicked King Deadass Book Review

The sequel to the cruel prince. Cardon is crueler. Jude is progressively becoming more morally gray and creeping everyone out. Taryn continues to suck.

What will happen in this next thrilling installment?!

This is an unhinged book review of The Wicked King By Holly Black

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

It’s 5 months into Cardon’s reign and Jude is his advisor. Things are going fine. At least in the sense that no wars have broken out and no one has been assassinated. There’s one small incident where an old witch woman tries to gift Cardon with a shirt spun from spider’s web, but he’s clever enough to figure out if he accepted it, he would have been enchanted to marry her daughter. I mean Cardon is drunk, not stupid.

He and Jude have a great thing going where she poses as his advisor and has to carefully word things not to sound like a command. He is constantly trying to wrangle out of her clutches and find loopholes to freedom, but she keeps him on a short, unseen leash.

Taryn comes to visit and it’s the first time they’ve talked since shit went down. She marries Locke in a few weeks or something. Jude is defensive but really misses her sister so she says cool. Taryn wants to make up, and says that Maddok isn’t even that mad about the whole “poisoning him and locking him in a closet so she could kidnap his son” thing.

Jude is like uh huh… thanks for bringing my stuffed animals. I’ll think about coming to the wedding. Let’s try to be friends again. Then Taryn leaves and Jude promptly throws the stuffed animals in the fire.

MONSTER.

The assassin crew keeps intercepting letters from Belkin as he writes from his sad little prison tower. Jude goes there to say “Cut it out” and he flexes by asking one of the guards to slap her. Jude keeps her cool until she’s about to leave, then stabs the guard with a poison needle and kidnaps him. She takes him back to the palace and they get this guy to squeal that Queen Orla of the Undersea keeps coming to visit Belkin and leaves him gifts like shells and shit. Jude is like okay COOL that’s not good. What are these mermaid people scheming?

When she goes back to the palace she finds Ho-Ass Locke chatting it up with Cardon and Cardon decides to make Locke Master of Revelries. So basically a party planner lol. This pisses Jude off to no end as her future brother-in-law is a total trickster and slut, and probably up to no good. It unnerves her that Cardon seems happy. She doesn’t want him happy. She wants him miserable and under her shoe.

Jude is still poisoning herself to build up a tolerance and has a weird night where she wakes up with papers and ink all over her like she was trying to write something in her sleep.

Then she gets summoned because Cardon and Locke were up all night drinking and sexing girls in his royal bedroom/apartment thing. And there’s been an INCIDENT. Jude gets down there and finds Cardon’s apartment in shambles. Like everything is broken. The curtains are shredded. There’s a fire in the corner. This isn’t me being funny. THERE IS LITERALLY A FIRE IN THE CORNER. People are passed out drunk everywhere. It’s the scene from the Hangover in there.

But that’s not the issue. The issue is that Cardon was shot with an arrow while he was banging some girl high off his ass on gold stuff. He’s not fatally injured. Just grazed. But it’s enough to make Jude and the assassin gang be like “Oh shit, which way did they go?” - and he points to the wall. Jude finds a hidden passage and goes by herself. On the other side, she finds the original king’s bedroom (which is ridiculously huge and has a tree in it). And on the dead king’s bed, she finds Nicasia with a crossbow.

Turns out she was trying to shoot the girl Cardon was with (like a dumb, dumb idiot, which Jude explains). She’s all upset because she and Cardon were a thing, then Nicasia left Cardon for Locke, who then left her for Taryn. Because Jude has Nicasia in a precarious situation, she decides to milk this moment for some info and is like “WHY IS YOUR MOTHER FUCKING AROUND WITH ME I MEAN THE KING?”

And Nicasia reveals that queen Orla thinks Cardon is an unfit king, and wants her to marry him so she can rule Faerie land like… through her daughter. Jude asks what she wants with Belkin and Nicasia is like “Eh nothing. She just likes giving him shells.” and Jude is like “That’s bullshit. She’s keeping him happy as a plan B.” And Nicasia is like “Whatevs, I told you all I know. But just so you know, someone close to you has already betrayed you.” and leaves.

That rattles Jude a little.

She thinks it’s Cardon. So she goes back and tells everyone the assassin got away. Then she hauls sexy-ass Cardon (all open shirt and still on like 12 different drugs. Thanks Locke.) to his feet and drags him to her room. He can’t sleep in his because he destroyed it partying. He can’t sleep in the king’s quarters because it’s like... Too soon. Not comfortable doing that. So she throws him on her bed and he flirts with her a little, then asks her to kiss him until he’s sick of it. Then he passes out after saying something like “I don’t know what I was thinking. You can’t be both the poison and the cure.”

Jude stays up all night holding her sword and watching him sleep. Because she’s a creeper. And she doesn’t yet know the difference between liking someone and wanting to kill them I guess.

In the morning, she gives him a new set of commands that is like “You can never order me restrained, detained, injured, killed, etc. You can’t raise a hand to me or make anyone else hurt me for you, etc. etc.” and his reaction to this is hilarious. I love that he openly displays behavior making it clear he hates her, but he’s also super offended that she even needs to prescribe commands like this.

He’s literally like “Okay WHATEVER. Wasn’t GOING TO ANYWAY you horrible bitch who I also can’t stop pining after.”

And Jude is like good. That’s taken care of.

(I suspect it’s going to be TARYN WHO BETRAYS HER. DUN DUN DUNNNN. But we have to see.)

Yeah so anyway, Taryn goes to her sister and is like “Help, my fiance is a total slut.” -- and Jude is like “Um. You know this. You knew this when you started dating him, and he was also going after me. He told you to your face that he likes stirring up drama for shits and giggles. Like.. what are we surprised about here?”

And Taryn says she’s fine with Locke taking other lovers, but she’s not fine with him being away from her being this “Master of Parties” thing. Jude is like neat. Cool. Get therapy. But because she’s her sister, she tries to talk to Cardon about maybe keeping an eye on Locke. Not just because he is such a massive hoe, but because she’s got enough problems with Orla of the Undersea trying to either assassinate or marry Cardon.

Also Jude had a meeting with some kind of high council where they talked over her and were super condescending. (Like, as they should be. These creates are 100’s of years old). And they wouldn’t listen to Jude’s warnings about Orla. And they also said some cryptic, but beautiful stuff about how the king has a kind of unspoken power over even nature in the world of ELFHAIM.

Since Cardon came into power, the smells are smellier. The storms come in stronger. Everything is brighter and more alive. When he’s drunk, his subjects get tipsy. And when he bleeds, things grow. (That’s almost verbatim what’s written. I remembered it because it’s pretty.)

So the parties are becoming more frequent and more violent. And this particular one is at night for some kind of night hunt. Cardon tells Jude she should go home. He also tells her he’d like to get to a point where they work together because they trust each other, and not because she is literally using him as a meat puppet. But Jude is like “NO. I WILL NEVER RELINQUISH CONTROL OR TRUST YOU. YOU BIG DUMB PUPPET. God your lips are pretty. I want to kiss you. BUT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!”

Well turns out she should have gone home because Locke gets up on stage and is like “Hey everybody! Want to play that fun game where we kidnap a mortal girl, drug her up on faerie shit, dress her up in garbage and laugh at her? YEAH ME TOO! And we’re going to do it to Jude!!” Everybody cheers.

Jude is in a weird position where she can’t order Cardon to cut it out without blowing their whole arrangement, and she doesn’t want to give them the satisfaction of enjoying her humiliation. So they bring out this gross dress made of forest stuff and a crown of stinking mushrooms (normally the girls are so high off their ass they think it’s a glittering gown and crown made of jewels). And they’re trying to slip the dress OVER her clothes but Jude is like “Hey no. You know what? Fuck you guys.” -- she steps out of her dress, stands there in her underwear and is like “Give me the fucking dress. I SAID GIVE IT!” and she’s determined to make this as not fun as possible for them.

I also like imagining Cardon’s face seeing her not once, but twice in her undies and trying to keep it together. (apparently human undies are skimpy compared to medieval night dress things).

So she’s wearing the gross dress and is crowned the “Queen of Mirth” and Cardon gives the ceremonial speech… and makes some comment that Jude’s brand of beauty is unique. Her beauty is startling, unsettling, dangerous. (Those aren’t the exact words but it’s something like that.)

Jude is impervious to glamors, but some faerie magic can still fuck with her. Like when they play certain music, she can’t stop dancing. She’s worried she’s going to die of exhaustion from all the dancing so she demands it to stop and begs the crowd to let the queen of mirth choose the next song. Then she gives a little speech that sounds sweet, but is something along the lines of “Thank you King Cardon for your kind words. Let me assure you all that I find you all every bit as beautiful as you find me.” and everyone is kind of like… boo… hiss… because they know she’s human and is capable of lying and being sarcastic and being a bitch about it.

Then she’s like “PLAY THE SONG. CARDON, DANCE WITH ME.” so she drags his ass on the dance floor and is immediately like “I will kill you, you hear me? I will fucking kill you and I’ll do it slowly. I am going to rip your god damned larynx out with my teeth and use it to tie my shoe laces.”

And Cardon’s looking at her like “Aw. She’s pretty.”

(She’s also noticing how hot his lips and hair are by the way, and how nice it feels to dance with him again) Okay so when she’s done threatening him, he’s like “Well I did try to warn you. Anyway. Alright, you’re free now. Go home.” and twirls her out of the dance circle. Everyone is in party mode, so they don’t notice and she can slip away. I like how Cardon doesn’t really partake in torturing her anymore, but he doesn’t necessarily stop it either haha. He doesn’t care if she’s humiliated, but I bet he would have stopped in if she was about to be hurt. (She also made him swear to, so…)

So Jude is storming home when she notices a bunch of selkies coming out of the sea.

She bolts back to the party and tells the guards to protect the king, and the selkies show up with a message. They’re like “Hey our queen says if you don’t marry her mean girl daughter, she’s going to drown you and your kingdom and sink this island into the sea. Cool?”

And Cardon says in some very pretty words, basically, “Nope. You can party with us though.”

And the selkies say “Neat! We’re just messengers anyway. Where’s the booze?” and join the fun. Jude is like fuck fuck fuck I told you asshats the merfolk were up to something and no one listened.

And she continues this conversation with Cat Dad in the morning, along with the magic council and Cardon. And they’re trying to think of ways to avoid a war. Cardon is particularly really pissed at everyone for even entertaining the idea that he marry Nicasia. He says in so many pretty words, “I’m not a piece of ass you an auction off for power.”

They call in Nicasia and he is pissed. Homeboy throws a teacup and everything. He says “Nicasia, tell your Mom to fuck off. I’m not marrying you.”

Nicasia is like “FINE WHATEVER I DON’T CARE.” and leaves to go talk to her sea mom.

Later that morning, the Roach brings a pretty dark-haired faerie lady to see Jude. And her name is Asha I think. She was a former consort to the old king and is now in jail. She is straight up Cardon’s Mom.

And we know she has a history of being a real shit mother and basically neglecting, then abandoning Cardon and leaving him in the care of his abusive brother. Jude plans on using her to sabotage whatever Belkin is doing, so she feeds her information. And a few days later, Belkin sends Cardon a pissy little letter that is like “Come see me or you’ll be sorry.”

Cardon orders everyone out except for Jude, who tells him what she’s been up to. Doing her manipulative shit. Jude is like, “Hey I have an idea. Why don’t we use Nicasia and try to charm information out of her? I need you to be your usual seductive self and make her think you’re on her side so she’ll tell you what her mom is up to.”

Cardon takes MUCH OFFENSE to this and is like “Okay neat, you want me to whore myself around so you can play game of thrones.”

Jude is like “Why is this a big deal? You have girls hanging off of you all the time. Let’s put that ass of yours to good use.” and then she spanks him. Just kidding, no she doesn’t.

But I guess Cardon gets tired of being objectified because he starts messing with her-- HARD CORE FLIRTING and holding her chin and face and being like “How should I seduce Nicasia? Should I hold her like this? Should I kiss her neck like this?”

And Jude is getting all hot and bothered.. So he straight up KISSES HER! And even though he was pissed before, this is totally sweet and tender and passionate. I’m listening to this thinking, yeah okay. This is awesome, but I’m just waiting for her to push him off of her, say something snarky, and storm out to do more manipulative shit. This story is very PG.

NOPE. I WAS WRONG!

They totally undress and his tail wraps around her leg, which is adorable, and they fool around. It gets hot. The kind of hot that isn’t explicit though. I thought this was going to be like Hunger Games full of chaste, cute kisses and nothing else. Hot damn Holly Black, thank you!! (this is chapter 15 by the way, 16 in the audible version)

Cardon asks her to tell him what she said at the moon hunt party. And she says “I hate you” over and over again while he does very naughty things to her. Hell yeah, this story is heating UP!

The next chapter starts with Jude going back to her monster ways.

She wastes no time in breaking into Locke’s house and holding him at knifepoint. He’s dumb and thinks she’s Taryn at first. But she tells him, “Whatever you have against Cardon, leave him the fuck alone. Leave me alone. Quit being a little party whore and starting fires, literally and figuratively.”

And Locke replies, “Muahaha I can’t I love chaos. See you at the wedding.”

Right now, Jude’s No. 1 concern is figuring out when the merpeople are going to attack. She thinks they’ll probably do something at Taryn’s wedding because Oak will be in town with Vivi (which is a horrible idea, but they’re doing it anyway). So she starts working with Maddock, Cat Dad to strategize about how to deal with that.

Meanwhile, Cardon finally has an audience with his pissy brother Balekin. Balekin is a total asshole about it and spends the entire time basically saying “YOU NEED ME!” And Cardon is like “Okay that was fun. Back in the tower with you.”

There’s also a part where Cardon shows up all tousled and messed up from making out with Nicasia (LIKE JUDE ASKED) and gets information out of her. That the ocean people are going to attack at the wedding.

He tries to talk to Jude about their sexy time last night, but she brushes him off like “Yeah it meant nothing to me either. I was just getting it out of my system! Hahaha.” And he looks all hurt about it. God I love these stupid kids and the sweetest cruel prince ever.

So it’s the night before the wedding and Jude is on her horse riding to her old home (Maddock’s house) for a little sisters + Heather bachelorette party. And she gets ambushed by like 7 dudes on horses. Home girl holds her own. Gets shot in the leg with an arrow. Steals one of their axes and murders 3 people like it’s nothing. They literally run away in fear, and she enjoys a moment of badassery before allowing herself to feel genuinely scared over the ordeal.

Jude limps into her home, rips the arrow out of her leg and Vivi helps her sew it up with embroidery thread. (Taryn has no idea this is happening)

Vivi, by the way, is so cavalier about faerie shit, it’s hilarious. For starters, she just didn’t tell her girlfriend any of this until they were literally leaving for the wedding trip. She’s like “Oh hey babe by the way, I’m an enchanted cat lady. Cool? Cool. Get on the demon horse.”

Heather is terrified, but surprisingly okay with this. Vivi feels like everything in Faerieworld is so dramatic. She has trouble taking what Jude is doing seriously, because her biggest problem that week was that Target was out of Cheerios. So when Jude is grunting over a bathtub sewing up her leg and almost puking from the pain, Vivi is literally like “Why?? Why are you doing this to yourself? You’re psychotic.”

And I kind of agree haha. Because it’s not like Jude HAS to stay there. It’s not like Faerie is trying to fuck with the real world or something and she’s the only one that can stop it. She’s choosing to do all of this to herself to gain power, because she is, in fact, psychotic. But that’s what I love about this protagonist. This girl is fucking scary hahahaha

Alright, so then it’s wedding time. Everyone is like “Silly Jude! Falling off your horse like a dumb dumb idiot. Did you forget to bring a dress too?” So Oriana gives Jude one of her silver dresses, which is hella slutty. No one in Faerie cares because they’re all gorgeous and show up to formal events nekkid half the time.

So it is the day of the wedding!

Maddock overhears Jude give Cardon a command (to not be alone tonight, no matter what). She’s trying to keep him safe, but he HATES when she gives him commands. So Cat Dad knows Jude’s scheme and now she’s a target for him.

The Ghost and the Bomb come and get Jude and let her know that the sea made its move. Not here, but at the Tower of Forgetting. Before they leave, Jude is like “Let me say goodbye to my sister”, noticing Taryn and Locke have just arrived to the reception (weddings are done in private in Faerie world). She also notices that Taryn is wearing the earrings that were in her bag that were dropped in the forest during the attack and Locke is limping.

Locke and his friends were the riders that attacked her.

Like some kind of weird bachelor party. And she murdered three of his groomsmen and no one is asking about it, just like no one asked about Valerian. LIKE DAMN THIS WORLD IS NUTS.

And it gets NUTTIER. While they’re inspecting the tower, Jude lets Cardon’s mom go. She’s an asshole, but she wants Cardon to have the chance to tell her as much. Balekin has of course been sprung by the sea.

And then THE GHOST BETRAYS JUDE. He’s being a little asshat and says he swore allegiance to Dane, not her. Like Dane got stabbed while naked in front of everyone. Get over it dude. So Jude gets kidnapped by the mer-people and wakes up in the god damned ocean.

She can breathe underwater because magic. And her and Nicasia have some words and some punching. Then she’s dressed in still more skimpy clothes and brought to the queen of the undersea for dinner.

Nobody knows Jude can’t be glamored. So they tell her “You think we’re your friends and you love us and would do anything for us” and she has to be like “Okay!” And pretend the whole time she’s there. But this is great because she can lie to them and finds out they’re getting the master forge guy to make a new crown for Balekin. They have this whole scheme to murder Cardon (they need his blood for the new crown) and they plan on using Jude to do this.

But they still keep her in the ocean for like 4 weeks, in a shitty cell that is just a stone cave. They tell her “This looks like a gorgeous, comfy room and there’s totally food and water in here and you love it.” And Jude is just like grinning through her teeth like “Wow. It’s so nice. Thanks.”

So by the end of 4 weeks she’s basically starving to death. AND WHAT’S WORSE, Balekin is a totally gross pervert who thinks he’s glamoring her to want to kill Cardon, and throws a “kiss me” on top of that. Then “Kiss me like you kiss Cardon” and it’s hella gross.

So eventually, Jude gets returned to the land. Cardon is there looking badass on a horse, and Jude is brought back limping from the sea in her skimpy dress from her sister’s wedding. He doesn’t even look at her as she’s loaded up in a carriage and rushed home. He traded Balekin’s freedom for Jude’s. So now that asshole is out in the world.

Jude tries to get into the palace when she feels better, because a lady from the Court of Termites is like “Hey! The merpeople attacked us and Cardon just LET THEM because it was part of some agreement to get you back, so make this better.” And Jude is like… wracking her brain like “What is Cardon up to? Why would he do that? Could it be because he loves me and would sacrifice large chunks of his kingdom to get me back? NO HE MUST BE UP TO SOMETHING. THAT UNIMAGINABLE BASTARD.”

But when she gets to the palace, the guards won’t let her in under Maddock’s orders. GOD DAMN YOU CAT DAD. I just want to see these two kids hug!! So Jude limps over to Hallow Hall to find a very much free Balekin, who is like “Hey there’s a masquerade tomorrow. Take this poison and kill your brother.” And then he’s pervy and creepy some more and makes her kiss him again. Gross.

Jude goes out and gets a dress for the masquerade, then scales the wall at the palace to break into Cardan’s room. She puts her hand over his mouth and thoroughly freaks him out, but then he’s pretty stoked to see her, so he pulls her in bed.

Turns out he had no idea Maddock barred her from the palace. She gets a chance to tell him everything Orla and his bitch ass brother are planning, and that he needs to play nice with the court of termites. And Cardan has a sweet moment where he opens up about his past, and why he was so horrible (it was the only time his family noticed him). And he basically said in beautiful Cardan words that I can’t remember that he really missed her and doesn’t feel right without her.

She heads back to Hallow Hall to Belkin. He gives her a vial of poison to slip to Cardan that night. They go to the party together and run into Taryn and Locke. Jude is immediately like “Hey punk, I know you tried to kill me.” And he’s actually surprised. He says he just wanted to scare her like she scared him, but she’s not having it. He shot her in the fucking leg with an arrow. Taryn comes back and they play it off like it’s nothing, but I’m pretty sure Locke has a deathwish.

So then Cardan gets there, and it’s a complete shit show. He is drunk off his ass and falling down, walking on tables, just— being fucking crazy. And Jude is absolutely livid. Like where was the sweet, composed guy from last night?

Lord Roiben from the court of termites (who is a super cool guy by the way, I love him and his consort) tries to have an audience with fucked up Cardan and ask for permission to attack the sea for attacking him and injuring his lady. Cardan is like “Nah.” And when Jude tries to get him the fuck out of there, he pulls her on the dance floor. Then, in front of everyone, he KISSES HER.

Jude is real torn about this. On the one hand, she missed him like crazy while she was a prisoner and desperately wants to kiss him. But on the other, they are in public and he’s trashed and this just looks bad. But he makes out with her enough for her to taste some kind of berry on his lips, and she realizes his pupils are huge — and he’s not drunk, he’s POISONED.

So Jude is like shit shit shit — gets some guards to bring water, buckets, and blankets to her room. She’s pulling Cardan out of the room despite everyone being a total asshat and trying to get them to stay— INCLUDING Balekin who is like “Hey Jude, let go of my brother and let me take care of him. I got this.” And she’s like fucking no, get off me. Bye. So now he knows she can’t be glamored.

Jude gets Cardon to her room and is trying to get him to drink water. He understands he’s been poisoned and they’re trying to keep him talking to keep him from falling asleep. So Jude says some sweet stuff about her past — opens up to him a little about her parents. They talk until he pukes, and finally the Bomb gets there and gives him some clay (??) to eat which helps I guess. She reports that the smith guy is full-on missing. And Balekin gave her a note that is like “If you want the anecdote, bring me the crown.”

The Bomb also mentions something like… the king has the power to heal himself or pull power from the land. But Cardan might not know how to do that. And Jude has this revelation like… Cardan has never looked at himself as king. He’s always felt like a puppet and has been conditioned by his family AND JUDE that he is powerless. So she flips into badass mode and is like “I’m going to go see Balekin and get that anecdote for you. The Bomb is going to stay with you and keep you safe.”

And Cardan does, “Hey Bomb, I order you to go with Jude and keep her safe.”

Bomb: “Okay.”

Jude: “GOD DAMNIT!!”

Stomps her angry ass out in the garden in her flowy little apricot-colored gown and talks to Balekin, who is pissed that she can’t be glamored and has been lying this whole time. She strikes a deal with him that is like… “I’ll give you the crown… if you watch me drink this vial of poison you gave me, then give me the anecdote. That way I’ll know it’s real. If I live, then you get the crown. If I die then nobody gets what they want.”

Balekin is like “That’s fucking stupid. Why would you do this to yourself?”

Jude says “I’M FUCKING CRAZY AND IN LOVE AND I’VE MURDERED LIKE 5 PEOPLE DON’T FUCK WITH ME.” And drinks the poison.

Balekin kind of taunts her like “Wow you just drank a whole lot more than I gave my brother AND you’re mortal, so you’re going to start getting real sick real fast. It’s almost tempting to watch you suffer.”

Jude is like “Yeah cool. Guess you don’t want the crown then, you petty douchebag.”

So he gives her the anecdote, refusing to let her touch it and just pours it into her mouth. Then she takes the empty vial that held the poison, spits the anecdote into it, tosses it to the Bomb, and turns back to Balekin like “You are SO DUMB. I poured out the poison and washed out the vial. And now you have no crown and no dead brother. Fuck you fuck you fuck you.”

So Balekin draws his sword. And all Jude has is a dagger. She makes some comment like “Do you want to duel? Surely you don’t want to harm your honor by slaying an opponent with no equal weapon.” And Balekin is like “I know you don’t care about honor. Also, word on the street is you’re kind of a monster.”

And he is not wrong. He tries to kill her. Like full on goes for it. And even though she only has a dagger, Jude BESTS HIM and gets her blade on his neck. “I yield!” He says. So she SLITS HIS THROAT AND GETS SPLATTERED WITH BLOOD FROM HIS ARTERY.

Jude has this badass internal dialogue that is something like… she’s changed a lot during her time in Faerie. She’s been weak. Then she got strong. But she had to keep pretending to be weak. Like when she was captured, and this whole time while she was playing puppet master. Jude decides in that moment to stop pretending and to be a complete psychopath. Just be open about it, girl. Be yourself.

She wonders if she should feel bad for killing Balekin, or feel anything at all over it. But she doesn’t. So homegirl walks back into the palace to check on her boyfriend who has hopefully had some anecdote by now.

He’s fine, just passed out by the fire. So she wakes him up and he seems confused. He asked her why she changed clothes and what she’s doing back here.

TURNS OUT Taryn is a fucking asshole and is working with Cat Dad, and came in there while Cardan was sick and disoriented and pretended to be Jude, and asked if it was cool if Maddock took off with half the army and broke his vow to protect the throne. Taryn (pretending to be Jude) said it was fine and all part of a plan. So he said yes.

Jude is freaking out like “HOW?? She shouldn’t be able to command you with your promise magic because she’s not actually me.”

And Cardan is like “SHE DIDN’T NEED TO COMMAND ME. I TRUST YOU. I TRUST YOU SO MUCH I DON’T QUESTION YOU EVEN WHEN THE PLANS MAKE NO APPARENT SENSE.”

He’s still pretty sick so they call it quits there for now. Let him rest. Jude goes back to her room and throws her bloody dress in the fire. No one has found Balekin’s dead body in the garden yet. But when they do, it’ll start a war with the sea. At least the court of termites will be happy? (I hope so. I like the court of termites). Also?? Jude is going to have to tell Cardan that she murdered his brother.

She’s in a robe when a servant comes to get her and tells her the king would like an immediate audience. Cardan is feeling a little better now, but they’re both still just wrecked. He asks her to sit by the fire… and says he has a question for her.

He says he wants his freedom back. It’s not right, and it’s hurting other people that he is a king that doesn’t have free will. And in exchange, he would like to give her ultimate power, so she doesn’t have to play puppet master anymore. He asks her to marry him and be queen. Then they could rule until Oak is of age, then get unmarried if they want. But that way he could make his own decisions, and so could Jude.

She’s kind of blown away at this, on several levels, and says yes.

Faerie weddings don’t require an officiant or witnesses, because faeries can’t lie. So they have this cute moment in front of the fireplace where they exchange vows. Cardan gives her this ring he stole from her months ago back. He does all this like, on the last reserves of his strength. So immediately after, when Jude is officially queen, she’s like “Lay down.” And he says “Only if you lay down with me.”

And they get in bed and make out and pass out almost immediately. They had a big night of Cardan almost dying and Jude murdering yet another person, so they earned it.

In the morning, they’re woken up by a knock on the door and it’s a guard telling them that Orla is here wanting to know why her ambassador is dead in the garden. And Jude is like Oh shit. And Cardan is like god damnit. And they have half the army they usually have. So fuck.

Can I just take a sec to pause here… and appreciate the fact that Jude is going through all of this hell… meanwhile…. Vivi is somewhere in the real world buying chicken nuggets for Oak at McDonald’s? And like… letting him watch Peppa Pig on the iPad while she and Heather watch some baking show on TV? And then we zoom back into faerie world and Jude is covered in blood and being tortured or Cardan is dying of poison and I just love knowing that contrast is happening. I hope Oak never wants to be king lol. He’s gonna be like yeah no, I want to go to prom. Fuck you guys.

Okay so everybody gets dressed up to go to the sea and tell Orla to fuck off.

She’s there with her army. Nicasia is there in shell armor riding on a shark. Like, shits about to go down. Orla demands to know what happened to Balekin and Cardan is like “He died. He’s dead. It looks like he lost a duel.” and is just crazy rude to her, which makes Jude very nervous considering they don’t have a strong army right now and she has no control over Cardan anymore.

Earlier it was mentioned that the High King had a special connection with the land. During the whole cute wedding scene, the tree in the room bloomed and sprouted flowers while they exchanged vows. Cardan has his freedom back, which means he has free reign to be a complete badass. And he basically tells Orla -- how dare you threaten the land when the ocean you rule sits on top of sand. Volcanic sand. And he moves his hand and the earth starts changing beneath their feet. He pulls up a whole ass new island from the sea like it’s nothing and promptly starts encasing Nicasia in a tree -- much to everyone’s horror.

Orla begs him to cut it out and quit cooking her army with underground volcanoes.

So Cardan agrees. Everyone agrees to a truce. He lets Nicasia go and offers her a spot on the court as a new ambassador, which Jude is not stoked about. Then Cardan flips the script and is like “Alright, now about that murder. Jude. Did you kill Balekin in a duel?”

She doesn’t know what he’s up to, but has to trust he has a plan. “Yes.” she says.

AND HE FUCKING BANISHES HER TO THE MORTAL WORLD FOR IT. LIKE…

She’s as indignant as we are… literally says WHAT THE FUCK I AM THE QUEEN. And everyone is like whaaaat? And she gets carted off by some guards.

And the epilogue is her brooding at Vivi’s house eating fish sticks lol. Vivi is trying to make her feel better. They have such boring lives taking care of Oak. Heather broke up with Vivi after she found out that she glamored her at the wedding. Everyone is just sad and everything is shitty. Jude ends the book by telling herself she is the queen of nothing.

AUGH I LOVED THIS BOOK EVEN MORE THAN THE FIRST. I love these two stupid idiots that love each other in such radically different ways. Cardan is like, obsessed with Jude and infinitely patient with her murderous bullshittery. He’s actually a really great ruler and I hope he never gives up the crown. Jude is such a badass even if she is totally power-hungry and fucking scary. I hope Taryn and Locke get what’s coming to them. I hope we find out why Cardan banished her in the next book… I assume to protect her. We’ll have to see.

Can’t wait to read the next installment.

Deadass Rating: 8.5/10

#cruel prince #jude x cardan #folk of the air #queen of nothing #cardan greenbriar #cardan #jude #deadass book reviews #book reviews #books & libraries #currently reading #fiction #literature #writers #book recommendations #book blogger #books and reading

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adelindschade · 2 years

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A Thousand Embraces (A Thousand Cuts, part 4 - mini Gwynriel Fic)

Because why not?

“You’re not hurt, are you?” Gwyn asked, oversaw by Azriel. She dabbed at Nesta’s face, scraping it free of dried dirt with a warm rag.

Nesta shook her head. Emerie presented herself after a bath, scrubbed clean of mud and other things, while both their apparel dried from the clothes’ line outside.

“I’m sorry about that,” Azriel mustered after an unnerving silence. “The mating bond is… powerful. We tried our best to deflect him.”

“He didn’t even let me finish my sentence,” Emerie barked, drying her braid. “I was going to tell him she was ready to see him but not to rush conversation, and before I could say the second part, he flies off, and you – you left me stranded, so I had to climb up that hill all over again!” she pointed at Azriel.

“I’m sorry – you were a forethought,” he winced.

“Asshole,” Emerie cursed, scowling. “You make me work when we’re not even training anymore.”

“Officially,” Gwyn corrected. “Unofficially…”

“Oh, we know what you two do on your spare time,” Emerie curled her nose in disgust.

“Huh?” Nesta asked, confused.

“You don’t smell it?” Emerie posed, taking a chair. “They reek of each other.”

“I like to play with his dagger,” Gwyn innocently replied. Emerie wheezed, as did Nesta. Azriel pinched the bridge of his nose. “That wasn’t dirty! That’s the truth!”

“Funny word to describe his-” Nesta couldn’t finish as she slumped forward, hugging her belly as she whistled in airy laughter.

“Enough, ladies,” he commanded.

“Just like old time – remember how he barked orders in the ring?”

“Sadist,” Emerie reminisced, grinning. “Is there an improper conduct to engage in outside relations between student and master?”

“Oh, I bet he loves being called Master,” Nesta joined, smirking.

“Only if he behaves,” Gwyn preened, knowing damn well she was feeding into their shenanigans. If Azriel could become a vegetable, he’d be a beet, because he was red.

“I bet it’s a workout. Does he kick your ass in shape like he did in the arena?” Nesta teased, leaning forward.

She didn’t know why she didn’t notice before how the shadows all but abandoned Azriel, swirling around her obsessively. In fact, as of late, the shadows were sparse to be seen in his presence – likely checking on her, as obsessively he would himself.

“No, he slaps it,” the redhead replied matter-of-factly. Emerie howled in her seat with Nesta squawking alongside her, not expecting the straight answer. Azriel groaned, giving up on life, and resigned himself to another chair. “Kidding! C’mon! I can make a joke now and then,” Gwyn insisted, smiling. “What’s not a joke is the mating bond. That’s legit. Complain all you want but it comes with the territory. Why do you think Azriel enjoys that I spend my day in the library, and avoids bringing me anywhere other than here?”

“Wait – hold up – pause for a second, what?” Nesta shrilled, eyes wide with wonder. “You – him – mates – what? When did this happen?”

How much time had passed that she didn’t notice the change in her friends? What happened under her nose? She felt clueless and out of the loop.

“I haven’t fed him food yet, so the whole mating bond thing isn’t quite fulfilled but he has moments where I question if I want to commit to it. If Cassian is territorial, try this one,” she thumbed to the winged Illyrian.

“Don’t joke about that,” Azriel shouted, seemingly pouting.

“As if I could get rid of him now,” Gwyn remarked humorously.

“You’re okay with it? The whole possessiveness?” Nesta questioned seriously.

“So long he’s okay with the possibility of Eris Vanserra being his father-in-law. An entirely different discovery for another day,” she chirped, dabbing Nesta’s nose playfully. Azriel mocked a gag. “We’re still testing the theory. Beyond the whole primal instinct, he can be a bit much but he’s easy to distract.”

“Ha-ha,” Azriel sarcastically pitched.

“Laugh now but you’ll be the one tapping out for a break when that frenzy hits,” Gwyn sang.

“Says the nymph,” Azriel smirked. “Prepare to eat your words tonight.”

“The only thing you’re eating tonight is – okay – forgot we had an audience, so I won’t finish that sentence,” she squeaked, mindful of her friends nearby. Her cheeks blossomed into the same shade as her radiant hair. Shadows tangled in her hair, concealing her face like a make-shift mask. Azriel boomed in laughter, an unusual noise Nesta did not expect from the otherwise pensive man.

“But you will finish tonight,” Emerie chortled. Gwyn couldn’t resist flashing a grin, though her cheeks were stained red with embarrassment.

“Disgusting,” Azriel gagged, thoroughly repulsed with their vulgarity.

“Just offer yourself as dessert and use that to complete the deal,” Nesta joined along.

“He has to chew and swallow the food to make it count,” Gwyn rolled her eyes in exasperation.

“Sounds painful,” Emerie cringed.

“Swallow?” Nesta smirked.

“Enough,” Azriel roared, rubbing his temples. “Please – spare me. I’ve been punished enough. I ask that you refrain from further jokes. It’s juvenile.”

“Says the cradle robber,” Emerie remarked, upbeat. Nesta snorted at the extensive age difference.

“And that’s why you’re not invited to the mating ceremony,” Azriel gleamed.

“What? No!” all three rioted, throwing various objects at him. He did little to defend himself besides lift his arms. “Jerk!”

“When did this happen?” Nesta interrogated.

“It was… an arrangement.” Gwyn spun her fingers.

“She initiated it, and I liked it,” Azriel supplied, gloating as he recalled the events.

“’It’?” Emerie asked, encircling her hands in a way to imply she needed more context.

“A kiss – and then it led to other things,” Gwyn vaguely elaborated, ending in a shrug. “I was curious!”

“You had an infatuation!” Azriel whispered, coming from behind.

“A schoolgirl crush – and you were shirtless! That was dirty!”

“What was dirty was the thing we did on the desk-” he murmured against her neck.

“Yuck!” Nesta belched. “I don’t need to know that. Please. I got what I needed to know. Wait – no – was it a one-night stand or a friends-with-benefits?”

“Obviously it wasn’t a one-night thing,” Azriel deadpanned, glaring down. He gestured to the couple. He enveloped her from behind and rested his chin atop her crown, demonstrating his full height proudly.

“It didn’t start as fling either. We worked our way up it. Started with a kiss, and then a few more, and then marked it off as we went until I was fully comfortable doing the – the thing,” she stammered.

“Can you not say sex?” Emerie chuckled.

“Sex is so… dull. What we participated was… a life altering experience,” Gwyn dramatized. The shadows were excited, flurrying around them. Azriel bit back his bottom lip, holding back his own snicker.

“Okay – I’m calling it quits,” Nesta sighed in exasperation. Gwyn let out a melodic giggle.

“Yep, Gwyn wins. Biggest wingspan, huh?” Emerie rolled her eyes.

“Kinky son of a bitch,” Nesta rolled her eyes, glancing suspiciously at an unmoved Azriel.

“Way to corrupt her,” Emerie seconded.

“Congrats on the sex! I’m going to bed!” Nesta declared, roughly coming to a stand. “If you’re staying the night, keep it down, would you?”

“Uh, I do not have enough rooms to host these two love birds, or enough patching to fix a wall if they get out of hand. Nope, you two get going, and desecrate somewhere else with your pheromones!” Emerie shooed out.

“You act like he’s replacing you,” Gwyn pouted.

“We cannot compete with that,” Nesta loosely gestured to a beaming Azriel.

“Oh, don’t look so proud!” Emerie stuck her tongue out when she spied his gloating.

“I have no idea what you mean,” Azriel mocked ignorance before lacing has fingers through Gwyn’s hair and using his remaining hand to nudge her back until her back pressed against his chest. He mumbled something in the nook of her neck, prompting Gwyn’s cheeks to burst red, and a smile to grow.

“We’re going to have to deal with this for an eternity,” Emerie groaned, turning on her heel to walk away.

“I’d still trade you in for a Pegasus,” Gwyn happily jested.

“Good thing you won’t be able to get your hands on one, so I’m the best thing you got around here.” Azriel kissed her cheek – and then down her neck – and nipped her shoulder. She squeaked.

“I could always seduce Helion,” Gwyn played along, a twinkle in her eyes as she gauged his reaction.

Predictably, a growl reverberated.

“You’re such an overprotective, paranoid bat,” she sighed. She tipped her head back, into his shoulder, and pouted. “Your wings aren’t that big, and they aren’t soft like a Pegasi.”

“Are you trying to make me jealous over an animal?” he remarked, pressing a chaste kiss to her brow.

“I just want the real thing. I expect one for my mating gift. Can you bribe Helion to spare at least one?”

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t help a grin as they swayed.

“I suppose for now, mine will have to do. You can touch them anytime you want. I heard they are very soft but careful, they are sensitive,” he said fondly, angling her face to press a proper kiss to her lips – and then another. Said wings curled around them, encasing her in a wall of protection.

“Out! I don’t want my shop smelling like sex!” Emerie shouted from the second story.

#the valkyries revenge #Azriel gets his karma #its a roast #gwynriel

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