#but stop encroaching on personal boundaries
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Can’t y’all just see an attractive person and be normal???
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I stand with all lesbians. That includes white lesbians. Why am I making this statement? I'm honestly too lazy to specify the details that inspired me to write this post but I can share a couple reasons why. First, I noticed any interactions I have with people who dislike the term "gold star lesbian," try and detract from the conversation by treating me like I'm a white person that comes from privilege. This has manifested itself by comments including "gold star lesbians are like the KKK/nazis/aryan." Most of these extremist comments come from TRAs and troons. However, there have been problematic comments from radfems toward myself and other woc gsl. These comments include "gsl promote violence," "gsl are racist," or the famous one "gsl are misogynistic." In the case of radfems they say this expecting that they're talking to a white lesbian. I know that's the case because I've had a radfem cry about racism and when I set them straight that the person they're talking to is not white and indeed a woc, they denied denied denied. Screenshots of this incident are somewhere in my blog. This is one case I shared but I've also witnessed something similar elsewhere.
Maybe this is going to be controversial but I stand by ALL actual lesbians. I'd never discredit the homophobia and misogyny they deal with just because they're white and supposedly more 'privileged.' I don't necessarily agree with that last part either. Most lesbians I've talked to come from poor to low-middle class families. Irregardless of race, many have been targets for bullies and hate because they're homosexual. Being a lesbian can be a very isolating experience and hard on our mental health. This is even harder because people love to encroach on the boundaries of actual lesbians. My point is white lesbians have a lot to lose by speaking up for actual lesbians. Don't stop because other lesbians will be here to defend you. Ofc do the same for black, asian, hispanic, etc lesbians <3
#I think this is gonna be controversial ToT#lesbian visibility week#saved in my drafts since I was scared to post this
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On a more serious note i remember taking a screenshot of each time Viktor is like. *Looking* at the Hexcore and. Man. Stop looking at it as if its your wife or like your drug. Its scary. Please return to being normal. I can’t believe Jayce never noticed how concerning it was
I truly believe, had he not been forced into politics against his will, and was spending his usual amount of time in the lab, Jayce would have noticed. I feel like the “are you sure this is safe” line was even hinting at his worry about the risks Viktor was taking with the Hexcore.
I also think that whatever this influence is that the Hexcore is exuding onto Viktor (whether it’s the Void or not)… it’s sentient. It knows it needs to keep itself secret if it wants to continue to put its feelers in Viktor’s psyche, and as such, I feel like it started to manipulate Viktor’s behavior. Viktor already had a tendency to pull away from people when he was struggling (“he disappeared. He does that sometimes”), so it wouldn’t have been that much of a stretch for this habit to get worse without people around him noticing (especially in the wake of his terminal diagnosis—everyone has a different reaction to a terminal diagnosis, and sometimes solitude is one of them. Jayce may have wanted to respect that. And that’s a slippery slope, with no right answer—do you force yourself into someone’s personal life when they don’t want you there? Do you leave them alone, even when it’s clear they’re hurting and could use the support? I can understand how they end up in a sort of stalemate, because everyone is afraid of encroaching on boundaries.)
But the sad truth is that Viktor’s desperation to save himself is what drove him to these extreme measures, and even without the Hexcore’s influence, that desperation would still be there. The Hexcore was his hope, and I understand how hope—even when flawed—can be addicting. At that point, there would have been no going back to “being normal,” because either way he’d suffer. He truly is backed into a corner, and the inevitable snarling, gnashing, lashing-out rage at the injustice is yet to come, I think.
#arcane#arcane viktor#Viktor arcane#terminal illness#terminal illness mention#TW: terminal illness#sad thinking about Viktor hours on this Sunday morning#let it be known: idc what atrocities he commits#number one Viktor apologist right here#asks#ace answers
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I feel like Wenclair's first kiss was because Enid got excited.
Like, she already goes for a hug on reflex, she's just an affectionate, touchy kinda person
but I feel like Wednesday would get her a thoughtful gift and Enid would just get so excited that she give her a quick peck on the lips
They'd both sit in silence for a moment, just staring
and then go back to talking, because they are not ready for that talk
Yes she does go on a hug on reflex but she's aware enough to stop afterwards bc she doesn't want to encroach on Wednesday's boundaries
SO
If they ever do kiss outside of a life or death situation (aka Enid being relieved Wednesday is alive and why she pulled her into a hug)
Wednesday would need to start it :) bc it's shown alot that Enid is usually the one that puts alot of efforts in relationships and I think she deserves to be pulled into a kiss and given affection
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Hi! Do you think Rogier’s type to hug someone? If so what kind of hugs would he give (and by extension, Magdalene too)? And, if I dare ask, do they get to hug at some point?
Hi anon! Now this is a very interesting question…
Is Rogier a hugger? Oh boy. Well. There’s a lot to unpack with this, I think. Like the man himself, this question has layers.
If you’ll permit me some wild speculation, let’s dive into this!
1] Is his facade a hugger?
Sure, if that’s what the other person needs. In the sense of, “this is what the situation calls for, this is what will rock the boat the least,” kind of way. A brilliant (and likely well-intentioned) imitation of sincerity.
It might feel a little stiff.
2] Is his Utter Detachment a hugger?
Heavens no. Internally, he’s begging: “please, let’s not do this.”
That sort of thing makes things harder than they need to be. Best avoided.
Hugging probably isn’t his first instinct when it comes to comfort. He seems more the type to try to use his words, or give some other gesture of thoughtfulness/consideration. His “utter detachment” is more about maintaining distance, and therefore reducing vulnerability. I don’t think he’s heartless, but rather, severely uncomfortable with something that encroaches on that boundary he feels so dependent on.
It feels like he’s turned to stone.
3] Is his touch starvation a hugger?
Absolutely, and he hates this. What a terrible affliction to have, with the company he keeps. He’s burying that as deep as he can. The good news is, in these lands, one can forget such appetites. He stopped hungering for these things long ago.
At least, until someone reminds him by initiating one.
…It feels like he’s fighting himself, resisting every instinct in him to melt into the embrace, to hold on for just that nearly-imperceptible moment longer.
4] Is Rogier a hugger?
Now that’s the great mystery right there. Who’s Rogier?
None of us know. Personally?
...Yeah. I think maybe so.
I think perhaps, in an impulsive moment of joy, (“Hey Rogier, here’s the mending rune to save TWILD,”) he might pull someone in for a hug. Or I think it could be a somber, consoling gesture, when words won’t fix anything anymore. I think in a moment of tremendous relief, when death came a little too close, he might reach out and count his blessings as he catches his breath.
I think it feels like he’s human under there. More human than he’s let anyone see in a long, long time.
5] Is Magdalene a hugger?
Ha, oh yes. And she’s as hearty and vigorous in this regard as she is in every other aspect of her being. Prepare thine ribs.
On one hand, you won’t be able to breathe, on the other:
Just popped up on your screen XD
6] Do Rogier and Magdalene get to hug?
:3
(Of course, anon!) (But the real question is, under what circumstances?)
Thanks for the question, anon! :D This was fun to dive into!
#of course it goes without saying in the “real rogier” scenario one has taken unbelievable pains to earn his trust. i mean. u kno how he is#.......i have no idea if this makes sense#hopefully it does#i really had to think on this one for a few days to be able to untangle my thoughts. and no i havent really proofread this much soooo#who knows how this reads XD#also. dont hold your breath for the hug btw; it'll be a while#but oh baby. they’re coming. theyre fucking coming#still waters#rogier#elden ring#sorry if you found this in the tag#hare answers#hare posts
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Hey like I'm sorry bad things happened to you but these aren't all universal experiences. Girlhood is absolutely not about molestation and abuse. Girlhood isn't about anything other than growing from an infant into an adult, and I don't feel there needs to be any special significance attached. If you were hurt during that time, it's not because "that's what Girlhood is", it's because unfortunately you crossed paths with people willing to do you harm.
Many women, myself included, have never had an issue with being cat called. Even then, this isn't violence.
This is called puberty. I would go as far as saying bleeding through your pants is something every woman on the planet has experienced at least once. This is not violence— it's growing up.
Breast pain during development comes from the fact your breasts are developing. Are you really not familiar with the colloqialism "growing pains"? I promise a teenage boy who is also going through puberty and experiencing all the discomfort and pain that comes with it.is not sending brainwaves that make your boobs hurt.
Girls can and do assault boys in the hallway. A lot of my male friends have stories of being groped or touched inappropriately, as do many of my female friends. I also have friends that have been assaulted by their same sex. This is not a 'women's only' issue.
Also not a universal experience. I have never had a 'rape talk', nor has anyone I've known, even friends of mine that have actually been raped.
What does 'girlhood is invasive' even mean? Are you doing the encroaching, or are you being encroached upon? Is it the mere concept of being a child?
You are not obligated to use tampons, alternate methods exist (pads, period underwear, diva cups, etc). I'm assuming by 'fingers' you are leaning into being sexually assaulted (which again is not an inherent part of being a young girl)? People are going to make comments that make you uncomfortable or upset you, and not all of them are going to be sexual. Self advocate, enforce boundaries, and avoid people that make you uncomfortable.
This isn't part of 'girlhood', this is a symptom of trauma.
There really isn't an easy way to tackle this, because a situation like this has so many moving parts and missing context and there are a million and one different ways this could turn out with one or both parties being in the wrong. However proper sexual education and classes on things like birth control, consent, and self advocacy would solve so many of these cases.
Again, men can and have been also touched and groped inappropriately without their consent. Speculums and doctor's offices are part of being a healthy person. Your obgyn using a speculum during any number of procedures isn't for their own sick sense of pleasure, it's because it is a tool designed to make treatment easier.
This feels like demonizing medical care. I had extremely heavy cycles. It was almost guaranteed I was going to have an iron deficiency each month. I got cysts. Birth control was an option presented to me (that I originally denied, mind you) that I was allowed to choose or not choose. Ultimately birth control has been one of the best decisions I have ever made for my health. If it's not something you want, you don't have to take it. If it doesn't work for you, you don't have to keep taking it. You are not obligated to take any medicine or treatment you don't want to.
Girlhood is a period of time during which you grow up, nothing more.
Girlhood is a period of time during which you grow up, nothing more.
If trans women feel joy in expressing femininity and find happiness in feminine things, then by God I hope they find the spinniest skirt available and spin until they can't stand anymore. I hope they feel comfortable and safe as their most authentic selves.
Stop demonizing growing up. Stop pretending that being a little girl is inherently traumatic. Stop dramatizing being young. This is real life, not a season of Degrassi or Pretty Little Liars or whatever other youth drama.
#baph bleats#for clarity i know the original tweet was about Dylan#and fwiw i dont agree with a lot of the shit she's doing but if this is how she chooses to document her transition then sure#does she do stupid shit online? yeah. who fuckin doesnt#she's on tiktok ffs of course shes gonna do dumb shit and exaggerate#its literally the dumb shit and exaggeration app#what radical feminism does to a motherfucker#radfems shut the fuck up challenge#radfems literally be like 'bigotry is ok when i do it because i must eternally be the victim'#radfems stop pretending all women are hapless victims challenge
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D F H for Pesci please!
→Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
It’s a mixed bag with Pesci. If Prosciutto is not influencing him, Pesci will likely be much milder around his darling. He truly does want his darling to like him, so he doesn’t try to push them very often. If Prosciutto notices Pesci is unhappy, though… He’ll give him a ‘pep talk’ that will mean bad news for Pesci’s darling.
Pesci, after a stern talking to from Prosciutto, starts to think that he does deserve better from his darling. He’s been so patient and nice to them… Shouldn’t they be thanking him by now? Pesci will slowly start to encroach on their boundaries, and unless his darling starts to reciprocate his affections (whether they’re faking it or not), he won’t stop until he’s taken everything he wants from them.
→Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
Again, this is dependent on Pesci’s current level of influence from Prosciutto. Without his influence, Pesci feels upset when his darling fights back. He won’t try to push the issue, and will instead just pout and give his darling space until he feels ready to talk to them again. Physically, he’s much stronger than he looks, so he takes any hits/bites/scratches/etc. without flinching. It just makes him sad.
If Prosciutto has gotten to him, though, Pesci is more likely to respond with violence. He won’t lay his hands on them, but he will use Beach Boy to teach them a lesson. The average person suffers immensely under Beach Boy’s attacks, so his darling will stand no chance… Pesci will teach them not to fight back.
Of course, he’ll lovingly tend to their wounds afterward.
→Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
Likely, a particularly tough punishment with Beach Boy. Pesci isn’t stupid - he knows how to maneuver BB through the human body without nicking anything vital. Pesci is well-aware of how to hurt his darling the most while they remain conscious. He’s not so much one to hurt them with words as he is physical violence, as he finds it harder to communicate than he does to simply use his Stand to get his message across.
#ask prompt#my writing#yandere cw#jjba.txt#pesci#yandere pesci x reader#yandere pesci#yandere la squadra#violence cw#sorry if the formatting is fucked up - tumblr has been weird lately
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Eclipsing Love
(Marc Spector x Mafia!OC) (A little Jake Lockley this time)
Last chapter ~ Next chapter
Chapter 9: Worst Nightmare
Words: 1551
It was a dark night, it was the new moon and the cloud coverage blocked the stars. Charlotte was ready, her sniper in hand aimed at the target. She exhaled slowly as she looked down the scope, she steadied herself as she looked. Her calm quite demeanor before the kill was normal for her. She had stopped counting how many hits she had carried out in her life, she refused to play statistician with some of the other members of the family. She waits for the exact moment the second he turns down the ally, and she takes her shot. One silenced bullet hits the back of his head and he crumples to the ground, No one sees, No one the wiser. She heads down to the alleyway, her things stashed away to confirm the kill. She takes her gloved hand and rolls the body over Just to be shocked at the sight…Marc?
Charlotte sits up with a start, she’s in her bed Marc sleeping next to her. Her heart is racing, her blood runs cold. It was a nightmare. A very vivid, very real nightmare. She sighs and blinks trying to get a hold of herself. She looks at the clock on the bedside table, 3 am not a great time to be up. She sighs and slides out of bed grabbing her robe off of its peg and wrapping it around her as she heads to the kitchen, hoping to grab a night cap. Something to ease the tension. Something to ease the sight she saw in her dream. Once she has the whiskey in her glass she leans on the kitchen counter, her knuckles white on the counter.
“Hermosa…” The gruff Spanish accent startled her slightly she spun around.
“Jake…Sorry I…I just had a nightmare.”
“Sí, you okay?” he mumbles getting closer to Charlotte a concerned look in his eyes, he carefully pushes a strand of her copper hair behind her ear in an affectionate manner. She may be Marc’s girl but he can’t help but be attracted to her, to want to protect her from whatever is going on in her head, or anything out in the world. He would put himself in the way of anything to keep her safe. She blushes slightly, his body maybe Marc’s but something about Jake is different, the way he touches her… its entirely unique.
“Yeah I will be…” she says softly.
“You wanna talk about it?” He asked quietly as he caresses her cheek softly, encroaching on dangerous territory. He knew that but he can’t help it, he wakes up next to this woman, her scent surrounds him all the time, and she is more like him than any other person he’s ever met. Khonshu chose her, she is well acquainted with violence, so much here, but Marc had made the boundary very clear, Charlotte was his first, maybe if she initiated something with the other two that would be fine, but she has to make a move.
“Um… yeah…” She takes a drink form her glass and looks to the side, leaning on the counter as she sighs. “In the dream…I was taking out a hit. Standard procedure. Everything was normal until I got to the body…It…it was Marc’s...er, your body…I…I killed you all and…” She feels the tears in her eyes.
“Cariño…” Jake softly cooed as he wipes the tears from her face “It was just a dream…We’re fine, you’re fine, nada te pasará…te lo prometo” He leans in like he’s about to seal the promise with a kiss when he hesitates, pulling away before he does something he’ll regret.
“Jake… I-” Charlotte’s hazel eyes gaze into his, the most complicated part of this relationship is when the body doesn’t hold Marc in it. The want for comfort from him is battling out with the idea that she doesn’t actually know Jake. They had only interacted a few times over the time that she and Marc had been together, but he’s standing so close, making intimate promises. Its confusing.
“It’s okay Charlotte. Do you want me to wake Marc?” Jake asked, he wanted her to say no. he wanted to hold her. To be her comfort in this moment. He knew he’d catch hell if he did any of the things he was thinking of doing, but just holding her? In her time of need? That can’t be a crime…
“No…no he needs his rest. It’s been…stressful lately.” She says with slight hesitation. She finished her whiskey and looks at him. Stressful was a understatement. She could tell how much the change in the plan has changed her, how every day she was less pretending to be the boss and more becoming the boss, the choices she makes, the lives she’s taking, she hardly recognized herself most days, and she could tell Marc was having a hard time too, nothing was like they had planned, nothing was like they had wanted.
“A’ight…Hermosa, it’ll be okay.” Jake couldn’t help it, Marc be damned, she looked like she was going to break down, He couldn’t just stand here and do nothing. He takes a step closer and pulls her into an embrace, holding her tight. “I’ve got you… te tengo nena…” he whispers as he holds the back of her head, kissing her forehead softly as she starts to shake with emotions. It was too much.
~
Marc woke on the couch with Charlotte asleep in his arms. This wasn’t where they went to bed, that’s when he looked up at the mirror over the mantel piece, Jake in his refection looked back.
“What happened Jake?” He whispers as he glances back at Charlotte, her strawberry hair lays across his chest.
“She had a nightmare, she didn’t want me to wake you. La cuidé, amigo, está bien.” Jake smirks slightly, he won’t admit how much he enjoyed doing so, Marc glared at him.
“You took care of her? What the hell does that mean?” he growled lowly, he didn’t trust Jake as far as he could throw him.
“Oye, relájate. Nothing happened, she just wanted to be held. She was scared. Had a dream she took a hit out, on us, it scared her.” Jake left out the part where he initiated it, but what mattered was Charlotte was okay. They could at least agree on that.
“Fuck…that’s…I wish she woke me up…” He says softly as he looks at her peaceful resting face. He loves Charlotte, more than anything, it hurts him to see how much this life is affecting her. All she wanted was for her and Isabella to get out of this life, now Isabella is gone and she’s a mob boss, it was like her worst nightmare come to life. He caressed her face gently, not wanting to wake her. He felt guilty, if he hadn’t shown up…
“It’s not your fault Marc.” Jake says firmly. “Khonshu would have found her anyway, you and I both know this. She wouldn’t want you to think this way. She needs you, she needs us…now more than ever, and at the very least she’s not doing this alone.”
“I know…” Marc sighs looking at the peacefully sleeping woman in his arms. “I know.”
~
Charlotte woke a while later, Marc running his fingers through her hair as he watched her sleep.
“Morning…Marc…” She sleepily mutters as she looks at his face, he looks worried. “What is it?”
“Jake told me about your nightmare. You okay?” He asks as he caresses her face. The worry in his eye goes beyond that.
“Yeah, It was just a dream. It shook me up a bit but Jake helped me calm down.”
“And you’re okay with that? Jake, I mean.” Marc asks nervously. “I know he can be…a bit much sometimes”
“It was fine Marc, he helped me…He just comforted me. Is everything alright, between you two?” She takes his hand and runs her thumb across his knuckles.
“yeah, I just…I know how he has treated some past relationships…I don’t want to see you hurt.” He can hear Jake cussing him out in his head, he was just going to ignore him when he heard him say something that caught his attention.
“hijo de puta! ¡La amo! La amo, idiota.” Hearing this he looks to the mirror, this was not a confession he expected to hear. Jake looks back at him. “You loved her first, that’s true but that doesn’t change how I feel, or how Steven feels. You need to understand that amigo.”
“What is he saying?” Charlotte looks up at him and reaches out touching his jaw. Marc looks down at her, the curious look on her face makes him smile, the way she makes him feel, it’s no wonder the other two have fallen as well.
“He’s fallen in love with you, Steven too… He… He loves you Charlotte.” Marc traces her lips with his thumb holding her chin up. “Is that okay?”
“It’s…more than okay. They’re a part of you Marc. I will love you and all parts of you, until my last breath. I promise.” She whispered. She pulls herself up and kisses him softly, gentle lips move against his, moving together. She pulls away and touched her forehead to his. “I love you Marc…All of you.”
Translations:
nada te pasará: nothing will happen to you
te lo prometo: i promise you that
te tengo nena: I've got you babe
La cuidé, amigo, está bien: I took care of her, friend, it's fine.
Oye, relájate.: Hey, relax.
hijo de puta! ¡La amo! La amo, idiota.”: Motherfucker I love her! I love her you idiot.
~
Masterlist
Tag; @ominoose
#moon knight#marc spector#oc fic#marc spector x oc#moonknight fanfiction#moon boys#moon knight fanfic#Charlotte Walker#oscar isaac fic#oscar isaac#jake lockely#marc and jake#Jake lockley x oc
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Ivan is a peculiar person. The framework of his mind differs from other people, that it seems like some parts of his brain have stopped developing or developed in a different direction if compared to others. He is hurt by what doesn’t hurt many others and not hurt by what hurts many others. He either feels too deeply, or sometimes not enough. Sometimes has troubles relating to others due to this, and who knows what kind of words have been hurled toward him behind his back or in front of him. He doesn’t understand most of them. He’s not always an easy person to handle, and he doesn’t fully know why. He’s not angry when people treat him with utmost disrespect because he’s not aware of the concept or finds it important, but he’s angry about seemingly insignificant details that he chose to latch onto. He’s very self centered, but it’s not out of malice rather than innocence. Sometimes he appears too unhinged but for him it’s just his normal. He has no concept of boundary which means he can get too intrusive with others, but it also means that he hardly bats an eye when others encroach upon him. Nobody can truly understand him but he also can’t truly understand others. And I’m crying over him.
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Birthday Reflections
On the 37th anniversary of my trip around the sun, I wanted to say that I'm humbled and thankful to have made it another year - there's been times in my life I wasn't so sure I'd get to be this old, and I view aging as a privilege that not everyone gets.
My life has been touched by loss and grief and yet in a way, it's the non permeance of things, that nothing lasts forever, that makes what I do have, when I have it, that much more precious to me. May I never take my blessings for granted! May I never not seize the day while I still have it!
As for anyone who'd like to extend me love today, or send good energy out into the world for me, thank you! I embrace it and send it right back 🫂❤️
And finally, as an almost forty something crone lol, let me share things I've learned, and celebrated, in the last year (both in life and in fandom spaces) as part of my birthday reflections 😊
Physician, heal thyself. I started a sabbatical after a rough ten months and downsized commitments as much as possible - down from 120+ hrs a month, to 40ish! Since August! It's been phenomenallll. The sad truth was, most of the things I signed up were years ago when my family's health (and my own,) was in different place. My family needs me at home more. And everyone has been wonderfully understanding of the circumstances
Don't be afraid to be weird. Of course always be receptive to open dialogue and feedback if your actions are encroaching on someone's boundaries - but if people find me cringe? Okay, and? I'm herp derping my way across fandoms and platforms and being random, that's it. Stop trying to get everyone to like you by dimming your own shine, because let's be honest: you don't like everyone and that's okay, too. Not everyone is meant for us, detach with love and wish them well. (This one isn't necessarily new for me, but I'd say it's strengthened over the last year)
I celebrated reaching one million words on AO3 - which is wild!!
I participated in my first zine, and then helped organize one, too!!
I participated in FTH for the first time (next month is my second piece), and I'm doing the TOG BB again with no less than four entries (three arts and one fic). First piece is already up!
I've done close to 80 pieces of art which is also wild! A cute collage set of my pieces done this year will be arriving next month!
I made me perpetual vows for my lay order after four and a half years of study! This one is probably the one that makes me smile the most - my religious name within the order is St. Mary Magdalene. I chose her for her perseverance being rewarded by becoming the Apostle to the Apostles ❤️
Though I'm still as ace as cake lol, and happily married, after multiple conversations and introspection I've further embraced that I'm a "hearts not parts" person as well
Speaking of which, my hubby and I celebrated another anniversary and next month we'll have been together 18 years!! Very grateful for him 💗
As I've continued to heal from childhood/teenage trauma, I feel ready to share more of my truth in my art to express as a form of release. Always with tags and boundaries so everyone can make an informed decision to their level of exposure therapy on such heavy topics, but yes, I'm stepping into a deeper phase of my healing and putting in the emotional labor to reconcile myself back into one whole, lovable being. Because I was always lovable to begin with. And so are you ❤️
And if you've made it this far, extra hugs for you! Thank you for those who have embraced me, been part of my journey, and whether we've grown apart or grown closer, I'm grateful for the opportunities to expand my own consciousness with the people I come across.
I truly believe that to love someone is to see the face of God, an opportunity to venerate and honor the inherent dignity of every person - sometimes of course boundaries have to be put in place because not everyone shares my intentions, but reflecting back I can at least say I tried lol. May the year ahead be filled with love and blessings and may yours as well!
#I'm so behind on DMs from the last two weeks - i will work on it this weekend 😎#i just really wanted to write this up first 💗#happy birthday to me#and as always - i must once again use the Guy Fawkes Day joke . . . i was born to be a Catholic rebel 😎#tw for non descriptive references to:#grief#loss#religion
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I want to thank you for writing about your persecutor. I don't have DID but the way I handled the abuse was by becoming very mean and, well, "evil", and it worked! The abuse didn't stop but it became less severe. Ad it has been awful to unlearn the behaviors that saved me. Combined with the shame, it makes me hate myself most days. It feels better when I see other people having the same experiences. ❤️
(gonna just put a disclaimer that I am probably saying shit that isn't the "most healthy" at some point cause I'm not giving a shit and my filter is kinda off so like, I'm kinda just speaking my mind, good shit and bad, so like, obligatory "I have an egosyntonic disorder and I'm speaking my mind so theres probably Disordered Stuff here but idgaf enough to do more than put a disclaimer on here"; I think I might start using the tag "pd hours" if anyone wants to filter that)
I technically don't consider myself a persecutor even though I have persecutory tendencies, but that aside glad to share. Tbh I run on the life principles of hide nothing and never sacrifice your own self for the sake of others or anything, so I'm unapologetic for who I am, sometimes to a point people might call it a problem, but quite frankly that mentality was key and vital in the past and has been serving our healing and recovery massively.
We have another part in our system that ran a similar function and dynamic but they have a history of actually feeling shame around it due to how the systems previously treated it and honestly, if you are feeling the same, then Ill say what I said to them and tell you that you really dont have to and shouldnt have to feel that guilt and shame for survivng effectively in a way and environment that was inherently abnormal and abusive.
Fuck the narratives of shit like "eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" and crap. 9/10 times it comes from people who haven't lived through the shit themselves and like to judge what they think they would do in the situation cause they have a moral high horse, and that 1/10 times that it comes from another survivor it comes from someone who coped and survived in a different manner and is on a high horse as a defensive "us vs them" mentality (ex "narcissistic abuse"). And if its not either of those two groups, fucking bitchasses didn't live through the same shit I did and don't know what the fuck they are talking about regarding my life and should keep their fucking noses out of it.
If there is anything I learned from surviving what we did, it's that my life is here for me (collective) to live. If anyone that isn't a part of "me" wants a say or judge in my fucking life and life story then they can quite frankly go stick their nosey noses up theirs and fucking leave. If people can't respect the fucking strength that comes from surviving that crap just because you "uwu became mean" then they can really just fucking get lost
Don't let anyone fucking make you apologize for living and being alive, and as a result, dont let anyone fucking make you be sorry that you did shit and learned to be a way that kept you alive. Your life is yours to live and you have a right to do what it takes to defend it.
Like political XIV moment here, but any person that runs a system (not DID, just like general term 'system') that puts people in a place where they have to struggle to survive, that said person should expect misbehavior, lashing out, and a sense of chaos and instability. People struggling to survive will inherently fight back and anyone who thinks that is wrong is just fucking stupid. Its a natural thing to do and a natural instinct. Anger, rage and destruction is an adaptive response to people encroaching on your life, your boundaries, and your basic human rights and needs. If anyone fucks with any of those three, they should be expecting retaliation
You don't have to retaliate and those that don't are completely valid and that survival mechanism should be respected as long as they don't throw others under the bus, but anyone who tries to shame those for retaliating are honestly assholes I want nothing to do with cause lowkey radiating so much "me centric" capitalistic privilege.
But anyways, I digress.
Long story short, you don't need to feel like shit for surviving and being alive. Your life is yours to live and you have a right to defend that in whatever means is necessary. Anyone who says otherwise can shut the fuck up cause they don't know shit about you or your life, especially if you are working on fixing it.
Besides, evil and good and morally right and wrong is really just bullshit social constructs to control behavior and force assimilation but thats a whole separate ramble of mine.
-XIV
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There's no lore, this isn't supposed to be some OC.
Hoping that this is all some fucking. Thing that's happening because I'm moving soon. This is terrible. This is fucking awful.
It doesn't feel like my closest friends really give a shit, sorry if that offends you or something but I don't even know who's actually close to me. Oh, well. Feels like I'm being taken for granted. Again. And again. And again.
I'm not listened to, it doesn't feel like I'm even fucking respected. You don't understand. You won't even listen, why should I EXPECT you to understand?
I feel all people expect from me is art. And think I'm seeking attention. Sorry for oversharing. Sorry for being alive still, I have had something of 11/12 near-death experiences. I mean this as a probability thing; I should be fucking dead. Why the FUCK am I being kept alive.
I can't provide what I want to. I can't make what I want to.
It feels like I'm not enjoyable to be around, oopsie! People are only keeping me around because I'm of use to them. How can I be actually fucking liked. I brush off the worst things of my fucking life with a comedic tone. I avoid speaking to people. I'm avoiding speaking to people, I'm scared, I'm always so fucking scared and angry. For fuck's sake.
Small and insignificant is what I wish I was, something people actually ignored instead of KEEPING ME AROUND. I'm so fucking annoying. All I feel that I'm doing is just. Being an embarrassment for the people around me (doesn't that sound familiar?)
That all I'm doing is encroaching on peoples' boundaries and they're too scared to tell me. Why shouldn't they be? You should know me by now. You should know why people would be scared.
I'm not important. I'm not big. I never was. I never will be. (Funny isn't it, that I'm a delusional cunt then? How amazingly comical it is that I have to be so shit in the head that I think I killed god. Over, and over, and over.)
I just wish I could hurt myself more than just cutting. Or burning. Or starving (trying to, at least. Fuck knows I stopped because I already have eyes on me with that.) To just. Punish myself for the shit I put people through. Over and over and over, day in and day out I am nothing but pressing and abrasive and DISCONNECTED.
I've literally been hearing voices, feeling things touching me, seeing things for almost a WEEK now. I've been dissociating so fucking badly that I come back to reality without knowing where I am or how I got there. I'm doing fucking awful. How the hell do people stand someone who perceives things that don't fucking exist. How do people tolerate someone who just.
For 14 years. For 14 fucking years I've thought that someone is watching me. That I need to be monitored through the walls, through papers, in order to function. If I do not have a paper to be watched through, I cannot behave how I normally do.
How do you tolerate someone who lives like that.
How can you like a person who believes in that.
...
I wish I could throw up again.
Disappear off the face of the earth.
I'd finally leave people be. They wouldn't have to deal with me. I wouldn't be making anyone uncomfortable then.
Or make them feel bad.
Maybe I could finally have people be at peace.
I'm going back to sleep.
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I am so sad and emotionally devastated by my abusive ex-spouse and my immature-as-fuck-and-unethically-nonmonogamous ex-partner.
And by my crush who I lashed out at last year who I’m DESPERATELY trying to get over. I should have distanced myself but I didn’t want to. I feel so stupid. I really liked them but they didn’t and just wanted to cyber. That’s it. I was just a fuck buddy and not even an irl one. That’s all I was to them. And I just didn’t care for a long time - I should have just hooked up and ghosted, that’s how the culture is, right? I just didn’t care because I liked the attention. It was better than confronting how bad I felt in my life.
I feel dumb for being partners with my ex-gf when I knew her husband was abusive to both of us (and I’m still basically best friends with her, and I’m so fucking thankful (she left him)). I feel dumb for believing in him until he encroached on my boundaries. I should have listened to my gut and gotten her out of that situation. I should have outed him to the entire community. What a fucking loser.
I feel dumb for letting my parents have such control over me. For years and years and years and years.
I still feel so bad about marrying someone who was actively emotionally and psychologically abusing me - who I was so sick with - sicker than usual. They broke my heart so bad. All the time.
I feel SO STUPID.
I feel stupid for all of it. My entire life.
Why do I love people who don’t like me? Or who can’t show care for me?
I know this is all just a sign that I need to pour into myself harder. I don’t think I loved myself that much to be in those situations.
It still stings so hard.
I’m so envious of my friends who have partnerships and families I so desperately crave.
I can’t stop crying.
I have to be a fucking professional during my day job, and I know I can. But why can’t my personal life just get better already?
I know it’s a lot better now - but I want it ALL. I DO NOT CARE IF IT IS UNREALISTIC, I want it all.
#vent#anger#grief#so much grief#it’s just pouring out#healing#neurodivergence#trauma#love#queer#prose#heartbreak
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Idk man discourse eis fucking stupid anyeay, I acknowledge in I only engage because sometimes it feels validating to be mad about stupid shit online, but like we should all chill the fuck out and let people simply exist and communities will get a lot better at understanding eachoher and not being a dick to people you don't understand from the get go...
I can't say the official stance for all of us, but I for one am not anti any specific group, I'm just anti-asshole.
Have your views, but stop with the preformitive bullshit. Live and let live and block freely.
And you know what I'm not fucking checking every fucking blog on this cursed fucking website to make sure I'm not on someone's stupid ass DNI. That's YOUR responsibility and if you don't like me block me. Not mine.
I exist online to do whatever the fuck, and if you don't like what I say that's on you. I'm not your babysitter or parent or guardian or therapist or friend. I'm a stranger online.
Quite frankly, I also don't go out of my way to do more than a cursory glance at someone's blog if they reblogged from me, and that's only usually if theyve done it multiple times, and usually only to decide if we want to follow them or not. Never to figure out if they like things I hate or hate things I am. If I happen to find that out and it makes me uncomfortable it's my responsibility to decide to block them. And it really doesn't even warrant a block in most cases.
Here's the thing, we are actually fairly successful artists. Not on tumblr but on twitter.
I have my views and opinions, but I don't really give a shit if someone I hate likes my art. The only time I end up blocking people is when they encroach on my personal boundaries. But someone just retweeting my art isn't a boundary I can enforce. I posted it TO SHARE.
Then in my opinion, unless someone is directly engaging you (replies, asks, dms, or inciting harrassment) who gives a single shit if they reblog your post, yeah?
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-- Venting about RP shit--
It's been almost a year since I've come back to RP and in that time the two things I learned that I really dislike during my experience with the RPC is that people seem to genuinely hate when others set boundaries, and shit-starters.
I have heard and seen people on the feed throw shitty fucking hissy fits over being cut off or blocked because their behavior was insufferable and someone decided that they did not want to put up with it anymore. Some of these people genuinely have no friends to tell them to stop that shit, to back off, and it sadly shows.
We all got shit going on, but never is it an excuse to encroach on someone’s boundaries or whisper bullshit about other people.
While I’ve made a lot of good friends/partners since coming back and cherish a lot of people, I’ve sadly lost some as well because they: Had dogshit views I absolutely could not get behind and I’m NOT talking about darker subjects with RP either, they did not respect my personal boundaries when talked to and kept doing the thing that pisses me off, or are just such an unpleasant partner to interact with who starts shit with others because other people don’t like them.
I’ve lost some really fucking cool RP partners already and it hasn’t even been a goddamned year yet.
It sucks, it stings, and I will and do miss some of them but people come and go and I think I’ve found my circle who I’m very comfortable with and I know I will make new partners and friends in the future.
This is why it takes me so long to want to draw for others these days, already I’ve made pieces for two folks that I no longer associate with and it feels like a waste.
#slurkurants#--vent#--rant#I don't want to keep new people at armslength#but at the same time I'm tired of dealing with shitty people
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3 Steps to Stop People from Stealing Your Time
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It is said there is nothing more precious than one’s time. Time is one of those limited assets that we might never recover from. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. And even then, you might find yourselves in a pickle, wondering how many people at work are stealing your time. Be it at work, or even somewhere else, if you look closely, you would realize that people are stealing your time.
You might now wonder, how exactly? Well, as absurd as it may sound to be, stealing someone else’s time is a real concept. And it is something that come in nuances, like constant interruptions at work, or it could also be in the form of certain obligations that might just drain you. And the most important of all, it comes in the forms of small destructions of this digital age.
But looking at the silver lining, there are ways and steps you can take to easily overcome this, or prevent people from stealing your time, so to say.
Let us explore some of the strategies that prove to be essential to prevent people from stealing your time.
1. Set Clear Boundaries
One of the primary reasons why people often feel like their time is being stolen is a lack of clear boundaries. Without defined limits, it’s easy for others to encroach on your time, whether intentionally or unintentionally. To stop this from happening, you must establish and communicate your boundaries effectively.
a. Identify Your Priorities:
Start by identifying your most important priorities. What are the tasks and activities that matter most to you, both personally and professionally? Knowing your priorities will help you allocate your time more wisely.
b. Learn to Say No:
Saying no is a powerful skill when it comes to setting boundaries. It’s important to recognize that you can’t say yes to everything without compromising your time and energy. Politely but firmly decline requests or commitments that don’t align with your priorities.
c. Communicate Your Boundaries:
Be clear and assertive in communicating your boundaries to others. Let your colleagues, friends, and family know what your priorities are and when you are available. This will help manage expectations and reduce unnecessary interruptions.
d. Use Technology Wisely:
Technology can be a double-edged sword. While it can enhance productivity, it can also be a major source of distraction. Set boundaries on your use of technology, such as turning off non-essential notifications and designating specific times for checking emails and social media.
e. Delegate When Possible:
Don’t hesitate to delegate tasks and responsibilities when appropriate. Delegation not only frees up your time but also empowers others to take on responsibilities and grow.
2. Time Management Techniques
Effective time management is a key element in preventing others from stealing your time. By implementing proven time management techniques, you can become more productive and efficient, allowing you to reclaim control over your schedule.
a. Prioritize Your Tasks:
Use techniques like the Eisenhower Matrix to categorize tasks into four quadrants: urgent and important, important but not urgent, urgent but not important, and neither urgent nor important. Focus on tasks in the first two quadrants to maximize your productivity.
b. Set SMART Goals:
SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Setting clear and specific goals helps you stay focused and motivated, ensuring that you allocate your time to what truly matters.
c. Time Blocking:
Allocate specific blocks of time for different types of tasks. For example, reserve uninterrupted blocks of time for deep work and designate other blocks for meetings, emails, and administrative tasks.
e. Avoid Multitasking:
Contrary to popular belief, multitasking often reduces productivity and increases the likelihood of errors. Focus on one task at a time to work more efficiently.
Multitasking, once considered a productivity booster, has lost its luster. Research reveals that juggling tasks divides cognitive resources, diminishing overall efficiency and increasing error likelihood. Quality of work also suffers. To optimize productivity and minimize errors, prioritize monotasking. Focus on one task, complete it well, and then move on. This approach enhances work quality and efficiency. In the quest for productivity, less multitasking often means more accomplishment.
d. Use To-Do Lists:
Create daily or weekly to-do lists to organize your tasks and keep track of your priorities. Crossing off completed tasks provides a sense of accomplishment and helps you stay on track.
3. Communication and Assertiveness
Effective communication and assertiveness are crucial when it comes to stopping people from stealing your time. These skills allow you to express your needs and boundaries clearly, leading to better understanding and cooperation.
a. Set Expectations:
When working with others, set clear expectations regarding deadlines, goals, and responsibilities. Ensure that everyone involved has a shared understanding of what needs to be accomplished and by when.
b. Use “I” Statements:
When communicating your needs or concerns, use “I” statements to express your feelings and perspectives without assigning blame. For example, say, “I feel overwhelmed when I have too many tasks to complete in a short time,” instead of, “You always give me too much work.”
c. Practice Active Listening:
Actively listen to others and ask clarifying questions to ensure you understand their needs and expectations. Effective listening can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts that consume valuable time.
d. Learn to Negotiate:
Sometimes, conflicts or disagreements can arise regarding how time is allocated. In such situations, be open to negotiation and compromise to find mutually agreeable solutions.
e. Set Boundaries Politely:
When someone encroaches on your time or crosses your boundaries, address the issue politely but firmly. Explain your perspective and the importance of respecting your boundaries.
Conclusion:
To get back control over the time that you have lost, or might lose, the most important step is to prevent the people around you by taking a proactive approach towards it. When you set clear boundaries, master all your time management techniques, and with it also improve your communication and be pretty assertive with your skills, there is a chance that you might be able to regain the control of one of your most valuable resources.
With extra time in your hand, you can easily use it to your benefit, like you can pursue your goals and priorities much more effectively. Remember, your time is a precious asset, and how you choose to protect and invest it can have a profound impact on your personal and professional life.
#timemanagement#productivity#motivation#time#success#timemanagementtips#entrepreneur#goals#business#inspiration#leadership#productivitytips#mindset#smallbusiness
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