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mykoreanlove · 5 months

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conditional

„Baby? I’m home.“

Hyunjin came back from practice, beaten and tired, but eager to see you again. He threw his new Versace bag in the corner and scouted the area for you. “Baby?”

But his baby was nowhere to be found. He looked for you in every room – the living room was empty even though there were still some vanilla scented candles burning. Your bedroom was empty too, it still looked the same way it did when Hyunjin left you this morning. Now he was getting worried. “Y/Nnie?” He opened the door to your office but that was empty, too. Silently, he muttered to himself. “Damn, y/n, where are you?”

It wasn’t until he opened the door to the bathroom that he found you – passed out on the cold marble tiles.

Hyunjin was startled but quickly regained composure as he noticed your journal right next to you. He smirked amused. “Did you fall asleep while journaling again? What are you manifesting this time, baby?”

He crouched down and took a look at your journal, his handsome features suddenly turned ice-cold. Privacy was important in every relationship, especially this one, but he couldn’t help himself. He scanned the pages roughly – words of self-abuse were written all over those white pages. Hyunjin turned around and took a good look at you. Your face, even though you were asleep, looked in distress. Your cheeks were reddened, eyes puffy with your mascara smeared, turning you into a panda. “My baby cried herself to exhaustion”, he muttered in disbelief.

Your boyfriend decided to let you sleep for a while and invaded your privacy instead, he needed to know what made you upset like this. Was it wrong? Yes. Did he care? No.

He sat right next to you and took your journal into his hands. He once gifted you this brown leather book, in the hopes of you filling it with the most beautiful words. But what was written in here was far from beautiful.

I had a talk with Chan today. His daddy sensors were tingling, and he somehow knew that I felt off. I swear to God, he sees me as another kid of his. But I admit, it feels nice. I don’t like talking about my insecurities but with him it’s kinda easy. I never talk about them with anyone, not even Jinnie. I just can’t. I don’t want to.

Hyunjin stopped reading and let out a deep sigh. He looked at you again, wondering why you kept secrets from him. It hurt him tremendously, the love of his life couldn’t communicate her deepest pain with him. Instead, she talked to his hyung? He would confront Chan later, now was not the time for more drama.

How did I end up talking to Chan in the first place? Well, I ran into him when I was on the way back home. I had a very important doctor’s appointment today.

Hyunjin’s whole body shuddered, anxiety taking over. An important doctor’s appointment? How did he not know this? Were you sick? Was something wrong? He panicked, internally debating if he should wake you this instant. He chose to continue reading instead.

I have very bad period cramps and decided to check them out, so I went to the doctor. And he did some tests and what do you know? I might not be fertile. Can you believe that? Me, a young woman in the prime of her life, may not be fertile. I might never become a mom. Jinnie might never become a dad. At least, not with me.

Hyunjin choked.

Panicked, he turned around and faced you again. “Baby. My baby, I am so sorry. I am so so sorry that you had to handle this on your own. Oh my god, y/nnie.” He caressed your cheek with his hand and watched you sleep. He felt guilty, as if he missed out on important parts of your life. Why didn’t you trust him with this?

He noticed the tear strains on the next pages, tearing up as well.

It’s not fair.

Life is not fair. Why is something like this happening to me? I always took care of my body. I eat healthy, I work out, I take my vitamins but somehow, I’m not able to become a mom? Heck, I don’t even know if I want kids, but now I probably will never have the choice to decide.

Why me?

Hyunjin stopped reading for a second. He felt your pain in every written word and it shook him to the core. He couldn’t even imagine what it must be like to be in your skin right now.

And after this appointment I ran into Chan in the park. I didn’t want to talk about it, but I guess I needed to let off some steam. I told him about the test results, and I told him that I felt like a giant failure, and I told him that I had no idea how I should tell Jinnie. Or rather if I should tell him at all or simply break up with him.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes at your dramatic ass. “As if you just could break up with me y/n. You’re stuck with me forever.” He continued reading.

Chan just listened and asked me one single question. Just one.

Do you believe you’re worthy of being loved?

Isn’t it funny how one question can catch you off guard? Because that is exactly what happened. And now I’m sitting here on the cold bathroom floor trying to make sense of it.

Do I believe I’m worthy of being loved?

“Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes”, Hyunjin muttered under his breath.

I guess?

I mean I have a wonderful boyfriend who clearly loves me very much, so the answer kind of has to be yes.

But do -I- believe I am worthy of being loved?

Hyunjin paused one last time and looked at you. He wondered if he should stop reading, he wondered if he was armed for whatever was about to come. Did you really not believe you were worthy of being loved? He felt the pit in his stomach, realizing he had to be the shittiest boyfriend on the planet. Not only did you keep secrets from him, but you also questioned something so banal. Wasn’t it his job to show you the exact opposite?

He let out a sigh and continued reading.

If I’m totally honest? No.

I never felt like that. I always felt like I had to be perfect in order to be worthy of love. But I never was perfect. And I never will be. My tits are too small. My tummy is too fat. My hair is too flat. My lips are too thin. I’m not cool enough. Now I’m not healthy enough. And soon I won’t be young enough. So no, I never felt like I was good enough to be loved.

Hyunjin cried silently, reading every word with care.

How the fuck am I supposed to tell Jinnie? He is going to leave me; he should leave me. I’m not normal, I’m flawed. I don’t deserve to be with him. He deserves someone better, someone on his level. Someone that is just as beautiful and popular as him. Someone with big tits and a flat tummy and super big hair and plush lips that he can kiss all night long. Someone that is healthy and might gift him a child someday. That can never be me.

Hyunjin tossed your journal aside and started bawling, his sobs distracting the silence of the night. He couldn’t believe this; he couldn’t believe you. Were you serious? That's what you thought of yourself? Why did you hate yourself so much?

His crying woke you up, alerting you in seconds. You got up on your feet and hugged him, holding him as tight as you could. “Jinnie, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

He hugged you back and sobbed into your shirt, you were barely understanding a word.

“You, y/n, you’re what’s wrong!”

You paused, scanning the room for your journal. It was lying on the floor next to your crying boyfriend.

“Did you…?”

He nodded, wiping away his tears. Anger masked the shame you were feeling as you wanted to get up, but he was quicker and hugged you in the tightest embrace known to mankind.

“I had no right to, I’m sorry y/nnie. I am so, so sorry.”

Even though you felt ashamed you were relieved, too. Finally, the cat was out of the bag, and you didn’t have to carry this big burden on your own. You hugged for a while, both of you crying silently.

“Can we talk about what you wrote?”

“Do we need to?” You looked down.

His index finger tilted your chin carefully, looking at you with the utmost care. “Yes, my love. We need to.”

You sighed and gave in.

“Do you really feel that way?”

“Hm.”

“Do you think I’m perfect?”

“Of course. You are perfect, Jinnie.”

He rolled his eyes at you. “Sometimes you remind me of a fourteen-year-old girl, y/n.”

You got offended: “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You do realize that nobody is perfect? Not even me?”

You scoffed. “Did you tell your face that?”

He let out a laugh. “You’re so silly, baby. What did you write about your tits being too small and your tummy too fat? I could say the same thing about me being too skinny and not ripped enough. You do realize that we all are beautiful in our own way? And that everybody got a different taste? What if I liked your tits this size? What if I loved your curves exactly like that? Has that ever occurred to you?”

It had not.

“And let’s talk about you being not normal. I understand that the fertility thing is a grave prophecy but that doesn’t make you less normal than anybody else. It doesn’t diminish your worth baby. Nothing could ever do that. Do you get that?”

You grabbed the hem of his shirt tighter and started sobbing again. “Jinnie, what if I can never conceive? What then?” He placed a soft kiss on the top of your head. “Then we’ll figure out a way, my love. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out.”

You looked up at him. “Are you sure?”

He chuckled, flashing you his warmest smile. “Yes, I am sure. I love you, y/n. I love you for who you are. I fell for your soul baby, not your body or what you could do for me. To me you are absolutely perfect.” He kissed the tears away, holding you even more closely. “Y/Nnie? Don’t ever think that my love for you is-“

“Conditional?”

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straylightdream · 5 months

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what am I missing? / 3racha

act four: “Jisung shut the fuck up.”

feat: bang chan x f.reader, seo changbin x f.reader, han jisung x f.reader

↳ in your mid to late twenties you’re left wondering if you missed your sexual awakening. With a the help of friends you start to really find yourself.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: for the story as a whole angst, a little fluff, body image issues, and self doubt, cussing all smut warnings listed below for what is in this story.

series masterlis

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

𝐚𝐧: these will be shorter Drabble style chapters. 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰. Please fill out this form.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: for the story as a whole, oral (fem & male receiving), piv, unprotected sex, groping, threesome, use or traffic light system, choking, and spanking, more warning to come.

After his night he spent with you Changbin felt like he had grown even closer to you. Since your night together you hadn’t seen him because you were busy with work but he texted you throughout the day. You weren’t the only one who was busy, he was quite busy himself.

He felt like he was on cloud nine after you slept together. He was quite proud of himself with how much he was able to make you fall apart.

It was a week after your night together and you were stuck at work while Changbin was at the bar with Chan and Jisung. Chan was at the bar grabbing himself a beer while Jisung was sitting across from Changbin.

“Bin what happened after you went over to Y/N last week? I haven’t seen you or her since then?” Jisung asked.

Changbin tries his hardest not to smile at his friend's question. He’s not sure what he should tell the boys. Neither of you asked what would happen after you had sex. “We just talked.”

Jisung knits his eyebrows together staring at Changbin. “What actually happened?”

“Sungie knock it off,” Changbin groans before taking a drink of his beer. He doesn’t want to do this whole thing with Jisung. He knows him well and he knows how good Jisung is at reading people.

“You’re acting weird,” Jisung responds before taking a drink of his own beer.

“I’m not acting weird.”

“What else did you do other than talk?” Jisung's eyes narrow like he’s studying Changbin.

“We just talked.”

“Definitely more than talking happened?”

Changbin can’t help but roll his eyes that Jisung keeps pushing. “Nothing else happened.”

“Did you guys make out or did you guys fuck?”

Changbin closes his eyes, taking a deep breath trying not to yell at his friend to knock it off. “Oh my god you fucked Y/N?” Jisung is slowly putting the pieces together.

“Jisung,” Changbin smacks Jisung's hand. “Shut the fuck up.”

“What is going on?” Chan slides into the booth next to Jisung.

“Nothing,” Changbin can’t help but roll his eyes.

“Clearly something is happening.” Chan says.

“Changbin either you admit it or I’m telling him,” Jisung threatens.

“Jisung you don’t know anything.” He wants to call Jisung a liar but he knows he can’t because technically he isn’t lying.

“Changbin and YN fucked,” Jisung says without another thought.

Chan’s eyes go wide as he stares at Changbin in complete disbelief. He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Changbin instantly feels guilty knowing that his best friend has a crush on you.

“First of all I want to know why Changbin broke the guy code,” Jisung groans. “Why didn’t you ask any of us if it’s okay? Chan has a crush on her and I like her too.”

Chan smacks Jisung's shoulder, “Jisung just because one of us like her doesn’t mean we can stop her from being with someone.”

“Wait, so I can get with her too?” Jisung suddenly lights up like a Christmas tree.

Changbin can’t help the sinking feeling in his stomach suddenly. In no way is he your boyfriend or anything close to that, but he didn’t even think of the idea of you sleeping with Chan or Jisung after him. Changbin felt like an idiot that he wasn’t able to hide what happened better. “Jisung leave her alone. I’m not saying anything happened between us but you need to respect YN. You can’t just assume she’ll want to sleep with you.”

“I’m not assuming anything. I don’t want to just sleep with her you idiot. I’m gonna ask her out on a proper date and if she wants to have sex and know what it’s like to have the best orgasm of her life then she can sleep with me.”

Chan leans forward placing his face in his hands. He feels like an absolute idiot for even letting it slip about your terrible date. Now Changbin has slept with you and Jisung wants to go out with you. Chan hasn't been the best at hiding his crush on you and he thought that might stop something like this from ever happening.

“Chan say something to him. Tell Jisung to leave her alone.”

“My head hurts,” Chan groans. “Changbin, are you going to date her?”

“We didn’t really discuss anything like that but I want to see her again.”

“If she’s not your girlfriend I’m asking her out,” Jisung practically shouts.

Changbin doesn’t say anything, he just stares at Jisung for a long moment in disbelief. He knows he has no right to tell you who you can see. “Jisung, if she wants you, that's up to her.”

“Chan?” Jisung says his name sounding calmer.

“Can I have your permission to see her?”

“Why are you asking me permission? Changbin sure as hell didn’t,” he groans.

Jisung has a huge smile playing across his face and both Chan and Changbin know they’re screwed. They both know you’ve always had a soft spot for Jisung. Whenever the both of you drink together you always end up on the couch cuddling. Chan always wondered if you liked Jisung based on the way you always flirt with each other. He knows instantly that he’s made two mistakes when it comes to you. One was letting the boys know about your bad date. The second mistake was not telling Jisung to leave you alone.

Regarding taglist:

If you aren’t interacting with my writing outside of liking the new post I’m gonna have to remove your name from the taglist. You will also be removed if I try to tag you and your blog is listed as "invisible". If you've changed your URL and didn't let me know I will also be removing your name. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but my interactions outside or likes feels like it’s nonexistent right now. All of my taglist are still open though. If you request to be added to one via this form, I kindly ask for interactions in the form and feedback and reblogs. To be quite honest, those really encourage my writing.

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vellichxrr6782 · 11 months

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— all too well.

character[s] — diluc. theme & genre — lovers to exes, angst. cw/tw — very toxic diluc, fighting, self-deprecation, breakups. word count — 4.2k words. a/n — let's play a game called, "spot the references i've made to other taylor swift songs in this fic" :D | a heartfelt apology to all diluc kissers, but no apology to diluc bc he REFUSES to come home

"diluc, what the fuck?" you spat, your face showing utter disbelief.

"what?" diluc groaned, taking off his coat and setting it on the rack, "what is it now?"

"what do you mean!? did you not hear what the hell your colleagues were telling about me?" you raised a brow, crossing your arms while you leaned against the doorframe.

"what did they say?" diluc paid no heed, his face devoid of any empathy as he poured himself a glass of water.

"don't act like you weren't there." you clenched your fists, gritting your teeth. "they were making fun of me."

"you're simply overreacting." he furrowed his brows.

you and diluc had been dating for seven whole years. isn't that insane? seven years in heaven, yet these days, it started to seem more like hell. maybe you had been ignorant of all your problems for seven years, or diluc recently had a massive shift in his attitude towards you.

he treated you like a deity before, now he treated you like you were a job. like you were an obligation.

you went out for dinner with diluc's colleagues tonight, hoping it could be a nice change for you both. diluc and you had both been busy with your own things for the past few weeks, and you hoped this dinner could help you both bond.

but instead it drove you both apart even more.

"did you not fucking hear what they said? 'oh, i thought y/n had so much of experience with guys, but i was pretty shocked to find out they were often simple flings with no significance. i was surprised when she started dating you, though, i didn't think you liked girls like her' meant? huh? am i not allowed to date other people?"

"and how does that imply they were making fun of you? to me it sounds like they're just thinking about our relationship, normally."

maybe that's how you ended up in an argument with your significant other, who didn't seem to think you were significant at all. your opinion didn't matter as long as diluc had his way.

"it implies that i don't put in any effort into my relationships, diluc. it says that i go around sleeping with every man i meet. you of all people should know that that's not true." you clenched your fist, "they shouldn't be thinking about my relationship, i should. you didn't say a word to defend me."

"god, y/n, what if they were right?"

"excuse me?" your eyes widened in disbelief. "what did you just say?"

"what if they were right?" he raised his voice, standing up. he slammed the glass down on the kitchen counter, and you flinched, and noticed a small crack appear in the glass. "what if you're not putting in any effort for us? i have to do every damn thing. i need to make time for you, do you know how big of a deal that is?"

you were shocked, to say the least. where was this sudden outburst coming from? honestly, was he even listening to you right now? was he listening to himself? he sounded absurd, it was like you didn't know him anymore.

"wow, okay, if making time for your girlfriend is such a nuisance for you, then how wonderful would it be if you didn't have one at all?!" you shouted, gritting your teeth as the words left your mouth.

diluc didn't spare a second in bouncing back, as if he was speaking from the bottom of his heart, and he didn't need to think twice.

"yeah, that sounds pretty nice right about now, y/n." diluc let out a laugh, "it sounds pretty fucking nice."

your throat went dry. you felt your heart shatter. it was as if your world came crumbling down onto you, you didn't expect for him to agree with you. at a loss for words, you sharply inhaled to stop tears from falling. you felt immense anger at first, but for some reason, when he admitted that, your anger disappeared. it was replaced by hurt.

in your storm of emotions, in your speechlessness, all you could manage to utter was a broken, pathetic, "fine."

and you turned around and left out the door, grabbing your coat. you stopped there, in the doorway for a second.

just a second. one second, diluc. that's all you wanted to give him. cause no matter how much he hurt you, you still had that wretched thing in you.

hope.

you had hope, god, you had faith that diluc would call your name, apologise, you both could make it up to each other, you would apologise, and- wait, what were you even apologising for?

well, one thing was certain when you didn't hear his voice call out to you. diluc ragnvindr, for the first time in the seven years you had known him, betrayed your faith.

it had been two weeks since the fight that night. two goddamn weeks. not a single call, not a single text, not a single glance was spared for you from diluc. it was as if you didn't exist anymore.

he probably wished you didn't.

yeah, sure, couples often have their fights, their arguments. but in the end, they meet in the middle and talk it out. but what could you do when there was nothing more left to say? when every cruel claim had been made already? when it was too late?

daylight hit your drawn curtains, itching to be let into your room, but you refused. the light hurt your eyes, you'd much rather prefer to be in the darkness of your bedroom, with the only light being diluc's contact on your phone.

it baffled you how someone could pamper you and give you all their affection one moment, then completely disregard you the next. you threw your phone on your pillow, collapsing onto the bed. his words played on loop in your mind.

you wanted to cry, you really did. but the tears refused to come out, you wouldn't cry for him. especially when diluc probably doesn't feel an ounce of guilt for everything he said that night.

your phone buzzed, and you jumped to see what the notification was. your frown immediately turned into a smile when you saw diluc's name.

you picked up the call, and bated your breath.

"y/n. let's talk."

wow, couldn't he have even said hello? just cutting straight to the chase. he sounded so... demanding that it made you feel like you're the one at fault, and you owe him an apology.

"you finally came around, huh? two weeks and now you wanna apologise?" you grit your teeth, awaiting his response.

"who said i'm apologising?"

what?

"what do you... what do you mean- " you started, but paused when you heard diluc sigh.

"just come to good hunter at 2 o'clock. i'll buy you something." he hung up, not even allowing you to speak any further.

you had no choice but to listen to his bullshit.

you were seated across diluc. in silence. painful silence.

perhaps even the waitress at good hunter, who was waiting at your table, could sense it. you would've felt bad for her, but right now, you pitied yourself even more.

he looked so... dignified. he looked like he was in a completely different world from you, you felt small and meaningless compared to him. you hated it, you hated feeling that kind of worthlessness.

who knew? the same diluc who showed you the stars and showered you with fake niceties, now stole away all of that praise he'd once given.

"two black coffees." he stated, and the waitress scurried away with the order.

"you know, i can order too right? i know how to speak, thank you very much." you rolled your eyes, leaning back in your chair.

diluc frowned, "i don't want to spend too much time here, let's just get this done with."

"alright, what did you wanna say to me, that isn't an apology?" you furrowed your brows, emphasising the fact that he still owed you one.

you didn't expect diluc to utter the words you had been dreading. the words that would absolutely tear you apart.

"let's break up."

you thought time came to an abrupt stop. the world stopped. your world stopped.

no.

no, no, no, no, please no.

"...what?" you almost choked, biting your lip to stop it from quivering. "you're serious?"

please, diluc, no.

"you heard me, let's break up." he wasn't even asking you, he was just demanding it. "this isn't working anymore."

this isn't working anymore, you almost would've laughed if you weren't on the brink of breaking down.

"it isn't working because you refuse to do anything from your end. you're so fucking entitled, you think you have the right to treat me like fucking shit-!" you started, your frustration seeping through your words.

"we're in public, calm down for god's sake." he resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"so that's why you called me here? in public, so i wouldn't make a scene, and just quietly accept whatever you're telling me?"

"why do you always twist my intentions? i called you here because it's a place we both can go to easily. i didn't want to bring you to my place, if i was gonna break up with you anyway." diluc massaged his forehead, letting out a groan. "we're over."

he was so cruel. so, so, utterly cruel.

didn't this hurt him too? why did he look so unfazed? did he never love you to begin with...? no, that can't be true. you rememeber diluc from years ago. he was so kind, so loving. what happened to him? why did he change?

questions revolved in your head, all left unanswered when diluc willed it. he was always in charge. you were just some pathetic pawn for him, just a tool with no emotions.

"my world revolved around you for seven years, diluc. how do you expect me to throw it all away?" tears welled up in your eyes as you spoke, unable to grasp the sudden news. "if we had just tried to love each other-"

diluc's harsh tone suddenly changed into a soft one, as he said, "i don't think we should be trying to love each other, y/n." he sounded guilty, almost.

almost. you hated that word. it reminded you of a future that could've been.

"that's all i had to say to you." he claimed, "if it makes you feel better, i'm sorry."

"i don't want your fucking pity apology, diluc." you let out a scoff, "i want my seven years i wasted on you. i want them back. can you do that for me?"

"you know i can't-"

"i thought you were pretty accomplished, though? master diluc, the king of the wine industry. a strategist, a business tycoon, a master manipulator," you waved your arms around, "i never understood that last one until now."

"enough." diluc narrowed his eyes.

"yeah, enough. i've had enough." you got up, almost crashing into the waitress who was bringing your black coffee. the one you didn't even want.

it would've been childish to take the cup of black coffee and throw it on diluc. it would've been dramatic and badass though, maybe you should've done that. but you would've felt guilty about it, later. even if diluc hurt you, you would've probably thought that was too far.

fuck, why did you care? he went too far too. and he didn't apologise for it, he never felt guilty. why did you?

that really said a lot about your relationship with him, huh?

it had been exactly seven hours since you and diluc broke up. you watched as the clock struck hour nine, minute five, exactly seven hours from your break up.

you didn't know what else you were supposed to do except count every second.

lifelessly, you stared at your bedroom ceiling. you inhaled deeply, glancing towards your phone screen.

9:06, no messages.

nothing.

maybe it was wrong of you to expect something in the first place. but could you blame yourself? you loved him desperately, and the only thing you wanted was that love to be returned. you had to fight the irrational urge to call him first.

the sun went down, and your love died.

you kept your phone aside, getting up to clean your room. your head hurt seeing the terrible state of your bedroom, clothes thrown around, papers falling from drawers and the table.

sitting down, exasperated, you started folding your clothes to distract yourself from your grief.

your mind was silent, you were too tired to think anything. you were too tired to utter another word.

in your heart, you knew you were just waiting for your phone to ring, and diluc's name to show up on the caller ID.

but in your heart, you also knew that it wouldn't happen.

your eyes couldn't help but wander to one of the corners in your room in which, tucked away safely, sat a carboard box. you held you breath in contemplation. arguments were drowned out by silence, and you got up, and took out the box. opening it, your eyes focused on the collection of small trinkets and notes.

on top was a picture of you and diluc, the one you had taken on your first date. there was a note attached, with the date and diluc's handwriting, "first date, liuli pavillion."

your mind was blank, you didn't know what to think. should you smile at those fond memories, or frown cause it's gone forever? should you let out a laugh at how gullible you were, or cry because you're still gullible, and worse, probably, if you still had hope.

you found a few cassettes thrown around in the mix, labelled with the names of cliche love songs, and a "to y/n, my beloved" or "to diluc, my dearest" written.

you chose to laugh at your own incredulity. it came out pained, weak. tired.

tied with a worn-out rubber band, you saw a stack of small papers, with affirmations written on them. before diluc headed out to work, he used to write you little notes to keep you company in his absence.

adelinde probably helped him put those around the house. it ranged from simple, mundane things like "finish two bottles of water today, you can't keep forgetting", to essays and paragraphs about how much he adored you. you valued both of them equally, they really made your day.

and those notes that made you grin back then, now make you break out into a pitiful sob. you thought to yourself, you were pathetic.

it hurted so much. you couldn't explain it, but it was eating you whole. you made him your temple, your world revolved around diluc solely for seven years. now that he was gone, you didn't know what else you had left. what responsibilites, what obligations and commitments did you have now?

the gods hated you, you thought. diluc hated you too, probably. you hated yourself even more.

maybe going out for drinks wasn't a good idea. you thought it could get your mind off things, but instead, you were running straight to the problem.

you called diluc.

"diluc," you slurred, holding onto the coffee table. "i miss you."

your house was a mess, with things thrown around, a broken vase lying on the floor from when you bumped into it a few seconds ago. you got drunk, despite being a lightweight. you just needed to get your mind off everything.

but even in your subconcious, you still came back to him. that's what you hated most. and you most certainly weren't in the right state of mind to call your ex.

you could hear diluc's steady breathing from the other end of the line. he didn't respond to you, instead choosing to ask a question.

"...are you drunk?"

"no," you chuckled, "i just miss you." you were starting to have a splitting headache, so you crashed onto your sofa. you accidentally collided with the lamp next to it, and hurt your arm.

you let out a groan of pain, and diluc asked you, worry evident in his tone, "y/n?! are you fine?"

"not really..." you replied, feeling your eyes close as you dozed off in deep slumber, he could hear your soft snoring. he hung up.

around 10 minutes later, you heard the doorbell ring, but you couldn't get up to answer it. diluc opened the door, mumbling a, "god, you forgot to lock the door? what if i hadn't come?"

he rushed to your side, calling your name. "y/n, look at me." he asked, and you grabbed his hand, eyes meeting his.

"you're really here... diluc? or am i hallucinating.." you mumbled, struggling to keep your eyes open. "i'm so mad at you."

diluc's throat went dry, and he spoke, "i know."

"i really want to hate you."

"i know."

"but i can't find it in me to hate you, for some reason. i'm just really frustrated at you, for treating me this way." you gripped on his clothes, shaking. "you're the worst person i've ever known."

"i know. i'm sorry." was all he could say, as he gently wrapped an arm around your back, trying to carry you.

"you're not sorry." you replied, with a hint of sobriety. diluc couldn't respond, he didn't know how. he silently carried you to your bedroom, slowly placing you on your bed.

"it didn't hurt as much as i thought it would, when you broke up with me. in that moment, i was just angry." you confessed, "but after a few days, it hit me. the realisation that you won't be there when i wake up anymore."

he didn't know what else to say. diluc didn't even know why he came running to your house. he wasn't in love anymore. it was over for him. it would be an overstatement to say he cared, too.

maybe it was pity.

but that made him sound heartless. maybe he was.

"i was so angry at you, i thought i never wanted to see you again." you frowned. "but when my anger faded, and i felt grief instead, i wanted to come back."

"why?" he asked.

"i wanted to come back because i loved you." you raised your voice, still keeping your calm.

diluc paused, not knowing what to say. he pressed his lips into a firm line, "i guess we've found another thing we can't agree on anymore."

"get some rest." he whispered. it was definitely the effects of the alcohol you had that night, but diluc almost seemed kind. you felt like you were in the past again.

why were you still clinging onto what was long gone? it was just you. he had moved on. you should too. though it was easier said than done.

maybe, just for tonight, you'd let yourself mourn your love that died. the love that would've, could've, and should've been something beautiful.

you sat with diluc on a park bench. your scarf was tightly wrapped around your neck, and you shuddered, feeling the cold air brush past your face.

"aren't you cold?" was the first thing you said to break the silence.

"no." diluc replied.

"ah, well, i shouldn't be surprised. for some reason, you never used to get cold." you let out a small laugh, "you're like a walking heater."

"is that why you liked to hold onto me?" he spoke, gaze fixated on the concrete street, as if it was far more interesting than you. "you would say, 'you're warm'. i thought it was just an excuse for you to get hugs."

"it was." you smiled. "i just wanted to hold you, to make sure you were real."

"did you wish i wasn't?" diluc asked, meeting your eyes for the first time in the last ten minutes. "when we had that fight, i mean."

"which one, diluc?"

diluc felt a pang of regret cut through his heart.

"the one we had after we had dinner with my colleagues." he inhaled sharply, shuddering as he breathed out. it wasn't because of the cold, maybe just because of how nervous he was feeling, or because of how he was just a few words away from letting tears roll down his cheeks.

"i always wanted you to be real, 'luc. no matter how hurt i was, i always hoped you'd come back. if it was a dream, i hoped i'd never wake up." you fiddled with your fingers, your cheeks red. "i guess i thought that... if we loved each other, then we'd always come back to each other."

silence engulfed the air, suffocating you both. gripping at your necks, but your pride was too strong to let you beg for mercy, too strong to let you both tear each other apart.

you were too mature for that, now, weren't you? you both had grown up, you couldn't let your emotions handle you. but sometimes, you wished you were a teenager again so you could forget about maturity, and scream, shout, cry, and yell at diluc, telling him how much he had hurt you.

"i... i'm... i don't know what to say, except, i'm so-" diluc began, but you knew what he had to say. and you didn't want to accept it. so you chose to not hear it at all.

"diluc. snow." you looked up to the sky, and he paused.

you watched the snow glisten in the sky, in pretty shapes that crystalised in the sky.

fog hazed over the night skies of mondstadt, and soft flurries of snow quickly rushed to the ground. they started to group together on the ground. white specks drifted in the winds, frigid air bellowing as you shivered.

you felt a wave of warmth rush through your body as diluc put a hand on yours in an attempt to warm you. in that moment, you couldn't help but think how he'd wrap you in his arms before. it just wasn't the same as it was.

"i feel happy," you murmured, tears rolling down your cheeks. "so happy."

diluc didn't have it in him to look at you.

you were close to accepting it all, though. all the heartbreak, all the tears and lonely nights spent agonising. you would accept all the bad times, just like the good ones.

it would just... take a while. you couldn't move on that fast. the would was so deep that it would take time to heal, but in the end, it would, nevertheless, heal.

if you had been sent an invitation to diluc's wedding a year ago, when he broke up with you, you wouldn't have attended. you would've cursed them out of spite.

but it had been a year since you two broke up. since you wrapped up the heartache. so when diluc's wedding invitation was sent to you in your mail, you smiled.

that's how you ended up at the venue of this momentous occassion, though arguably his bride-to-be was not all that happy about having you here.

i mean, you dated diluc longer than she had known him.

and maybe diluc dragging you away to a secluded corner was seemingly innapropriate behaviour at his wedding, but diluc (for once) did not care about what other people thought. he needed to talk to you.

you weren't that interested in anything he had to say. he had told you everything already, even the most hurtful of words. still, guilt doesn't let you end things to make peace with yourself. and it seemed, this same guilt was eating at him.

"i'm sorry, y/n." diluc held your hand tightly, his voice low.

"careful, you wouldn't wanna get caught being handsy with another woman at your wedding, no?" you laughed, letting go of his hand. "i've forgiven you, diluc. not because i excuse whatever you put me through, but because i want to move on from you."

you looked at diluc's bride.

"... congratulations, diluc. she's beautiful." you smiled, cheeks warm.

a beautiful fool.

diluc felt his breath hitch, and he nodded, "yeah. thanks."

it was time for the ceremony, so diluc left you, once again. just like all the times before. but the only difference was, it didn't hurt as much this time.

he had found happiness. and you told yourself, you could too. without him.

you were over diluc. for real, this time. no going back.

he wouldn't look at you the way he used to, he won't hold you the way he used to. that love dissipated into thin air, like it never existed.

you had accepted it, though. it was over. your relationship with him would never come back. but it was terribly beautiful while it lasted, ingraved in your memories. your love in the shade of golden.

published on; 24th may, 2023. writing belongs to @/vellichxrr6782 on tumblr.

#[🔖 vellichxrr writes ]#genshin diluc #genshin impact diluc #diluc ragnvindr #diluc #diluc angst #diluc x y/n #diluc x reader #diluc ragnivindr x reader #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin angst #genshin impact #diluc x you #diluc headcanons #diluc imagines

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megantheestallion-ismypresident · 9 months

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Kickin Back

Maddy perez x Black!fem reader

Summary: After Maddy and Nate broke up, Y/n and Maddy get high in Y/n's room together and things get a little spicy.

As Maddy was checking herself out in the mirror, Y/n was in her bed smoking a blunt. "He's such a dick Y/n, like the way he is just baffles me." Maddy says to Y/n as she looks in the mirror, feeling insecure about herself.

Y/n and Maddy have been best friends in their pagent years. They were always there for each other until they made it to high school. Y/n hated high school she never really fit in she was under the radar, but that didn't mean she couldn't support her best friend. Maddy was practically popular, I mean, how couldn't she? Maddy was pretty, Y/n admire Maddy and her beauty, she was a cheerleader and gotten new friends. Y/n thought Maddy would be like one of those girls who are popular and ditch her friends for new ones, but she didn't.

Maddy never put Y/n. Last, she was still gonna be there for Y/n whether or not she was popular or not. When Maddy started dating nate, she couldn't stand it.

Maddy didn't want you to feel lonely, so she let you come tag along with her and nate. Y/n wanted to put his hands on Nate so badly, but she couldn't because he's dating her best friend. Y/n and Nate would glance glares at each other, she couldn't stand him and his bitch ass family. But when Maddy and Nate had their first breakup, Y/n wanted to kill him with her own bare hands. She was there when Maddy was depressed and couldn't get out of bed to go to school, Y/n would go to Maddy's house every single day to try and cheer her up.

And it did work eventually, Maddy, but when Nate wanted Maddy back, she instantly got back together with him, Y/n couldn't understand what Maddy saw in Nate. Nate was like Satan in Y/n's eyes.

"Yeah, he was a total dick." Y/n said as she rolled her eyes as she was high off the blunt, not wanting to talk or hear Nate Jacobs.

"He just finds a way to ruin my self confidence, he was so controlling, he never wanted to be my own true self." Maddy says, looking at herself sadly.

"Who cares about what that nigga thinks, he's a white boy with daddy issues, I honestly don't know what you saw in him?" Y/n says in disbelief.

"I just want to get him out of my head and stop thinking about him." Maddy says as she turns around facing Y/n.

Y/n offers Maddy some of her blunt she could calm down. Maddy looks at the blunt and takes it as she inhales and huffs it out.

"I feel more relaxed now." Maddy said as she inhales the blunt slowly as she huffy the smoke in the air as she's face to face to Y/n.

"I told you it would relax you." Y/n said, looking at Maddy seductively as they both look at each others lip.

Y/n kisses Maddy as Maddy kisses her back as they both end up on the bed.

"I've been wanting do that for a long time." Y/n said as she looks at Maddy.

Maddy starts kissing Y/n as Maddy takes off Y/n's shirt, leaving her bra on.

"You're so pretty." Maddy said as she kissed Y/n's neck as she uncle's Y/n bra leaving her bare.

As Maddy and Y/n kisses passionately, Y/n was on top of Maddy bringing her hand caressing her tits but brings her hand lower to her pussy

"Can I touch you?" Y/n says, looking at Maddy for approval. "Yeah." Maddy nods her head 'yes' for Y/n to touch her.

Y/n takes off Maddy's pants and seeing her cum in her pants already.

" You so wet for me, and we just started." Y/n teases maddy.

Y/n insert to fingers inside Maddy making her arch her back as she moans, Y/n didn't know to much about fingering, so she just did whatever felt good.

"Am I doing good?" Y/n questions Maddy.

"Really fucking good." Maddy says as she moans.

"Oh my god, Y/n going to cum." Maddy said as she moans louder.

Maddy cums on Y/n's finger as she pants. Y/n sees the cum on her fingers as she sucks on Maddy's cum looking at her seductively.

"Now it's my turn to please you." Maddy says as she gets on top of Y/n as she takes off her pants and underwear.

Maddy widens Y/n's legs getting in between her legs, Y/n grabs a blunt and lights it as she smokes and huffs it out.

Maddy kisses Y/n's clit, making her moan as she huffs out the blunt. Maddy eats Y/n out a bit more faster than what Y/n expected.

Y/n grabs Maddy hair making her go lower as Y/n moans louder almost about to cum, Y/n had never been pleasures in her life and what makes her happy is that she's being pleasures by her best friend who's been her crush for a very long ass time.

Y/n cums as she pants and felt relieve and relaxed, Maddy gets out between of Y/n's legs, as she comes over and lay down next to Y/n on the bed as they both pant.

"You're right this was relaxing." Maddy says looking at Y/n, Y/n passes Maddy the blunt as Maddy smokes the blunt huffing out the smoke.

"Maddy I want to tell you something." Y/n said as she looks at Maddy.

"That you like me? I have known Y/n for a very long time. And I did, too, but I was too afraid that you didn't see me that way. So, that's why I dated nate." Maddy said, looking at Y/n with so much love in her eyes.

"Yeah, this was really fun, but I really want to be something more that, and if it's too fast for you, we can just be no strings attached." Maddy said.

Y/n kisses Maddy as she cups her face as she lets go of maddy's face, looking at her with a smile.

"Maddy, I would love to be your girlfriend." Y/n says, smiling at Maddy.

Maddy and Y/n lay back in bed, holding hands with each other with so much love in their eyes.

"I have to go home. My mom wants me home before dark." Maddy says as she puts on her clothes.

"Bye." Maddy says, kissing Y/n leaving her room.

Y/n smiles at herself, thinking about Maddy. She was just happy that her wish came true.

#Maddy perez #Maddy perez x reader #Maddy perez x black!fem reader #Euphoria #Spotify #Black!reader #Maddy perez x fem!reader #Maddy perez x black!reader

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emperor-palpaminty · 1 year

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Tender

look there is a stunning lack of Price content and i am here for that and I am trying to procrastinate. so have some price snacks. not NSFW but also, kinda suggestive? some kissy? smoochie?? implying??? idk?

Price x female lawyer reader, because for some reason Price and a lawyer would go well together in my head. leave me alone. Also my inbox is open. Enjoy the trainwreck

also @a-small-writer-in-a-big-world-come and get ya juice

"Go on." Price held out the long, velvety box. "Open it."

She blinked. Her expression shifted from one of surprise into suspicion, lips pursing. "Why?"

A chuckle left his lips. "You gotta ask questions for everything?" Price shook the box slightly, raising his eyebrows in a tantalizing manner. "You could just open it, find out what's inside."

"But," A cheeky grin flickered to that smart and witty mouth. "I like asking you questions."

"You're a lawyer, not a detective." Price annunciated with the box. "One of two options here, oh, esteemed prosecutor of the court: Either I open it, or you do." She hummed in response as Price ran a thumb over the soft and plush surface of the lid, his voice softening in the way that only this woman could bring out. "What'll it be?"

Her eyes flickered from the box to his face. The dark glint of intrigue laid dormant in her eyes, stirring at the mystery. Slowly, her fingers reached out and took the box from him. "It's heavy."

"Nothing you don't deserve." Price leaned on the cool marble countertop, watching her face as she opened the lid. His lips quirked sightly into a smile.

Her mouth opened in disbelief, and she sucked in a breath. "Oh! John." She glanced up at him and ran her fingers over the white pearls of the necklace. "John. You shouldn't have." Her fingers twitched, and a nervous laugh left her throat. "Oh, my god. You really shouldn't have- It'll break if I touch it."

"No, no." Price grinned and stood up fully, walking behind her. "Let's get it on you."

A soft giggle left the woman in front of him as she took her hair and pulled it off her shoulders, away from her neck. "You really didn't have to." Her cheeks were curved into a wide smile, and her hands held her hair away.

Price reached down around her and picked up the necklace, eyes skimming her neck. She was a beautiful, classy, bold woman, and she deserved all he could buy her and more. "I did have to, love." Price pulled the string of pearls gently around her neck- they sat like they belonged there. The clasp held tight, and his fingers smoothed over the side of her neck, admiring the gentle slope of it. She tilted her head to the side with an inviting hum. Price leaned down, his hands trailing down her arms, fingers running over the silky fabric of her blouse. "Because," He started, even though she hadn't asked. "Every time someone looks at you, or someone thinks that you're a hot lawyer, or wants to ask you out-" He tugged on the necklace as he kissed the smooth skin of her neck. She sighed, hands pressing on the counter. "You have something that shows everyone that you have someone at home waiting for ya."

His kisses were sweet, slow, and gentle. "My girl." Price hummed against her jaw. He was a military captain- tough, coarse, had been covered in blood and valor. And yet here he was, any sense of his self unraveling at her- damn lawyers, probably, doing what they did best, getting at his last nerve. Only she did it in a much better way.

She laughed, turning and reaching up to hold his face. The necklace looked good on her- the creamy luster from each pearl shone in how she turned her head. Her lips were parted, breathless, as she pulled him in, kissing him.

Price was never one to argue with her. His hands ran up her back, fingers tangling in the material. She still tasted like the glass of white wine, the perfume from her day at work still wafting off her. Price broke the kiss, only briefly, to turn his head and cover her mouth once again with his own. She sighed into him, fingers grasping his shirt.

Price bent down and picked her up by her knees, promptly lowering her on the counter. "My girl," He repeated again, the words reverberating against her laugh as his fingers worked at the buttons on her shirt.

She laughed, reaching up and grasping his jaw, pulling him back in for more. "Your girl."

#captain price #captain john price #price x reader #captain price x you #captain john price x reader #cod #call of duty #cod reader insert #call of duty reader insert #minty writes #price x you #captain john price x you #captain price x reader

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mareenavee · 7 months

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Light The Way

Happy birthday, @thana-topsy <3 Neloth rambles, so I let him. Enjoy your Morrowfic :3

Light the Way

--- Please check the AO3 tags on this one. ---

“This is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard,” Neloth said. “Though I should hardly be surprised, considering it’s you.”

Teldryn Sero, fool that he was, had the nerve to sigh. Dramatically. He did rather have a flair for that. All things considered, Neloth doubted he’d act any other way, what with the Nerevarine nonsense hanging over his head. An inflated sense of self is all it amounted to, really. And if Neloth knew anything, it was how to deflect that, much to Sero’s chagrin.

“We’ve been over this, Neloth,” Sero said, scrubbing a hand over his face in exasperation. He had a new scar—a raised scratch that cut counter to the tattoos that spiraled down his face. He’d said it was a cliff racer attack. Neloth rather doubted it. “My way is more effective. Blatant murder over on the Peninsula isn’t going to win you any points with the Council. It’ll turn into a House War before you have a chance to cackle.” Sero shook his head and began to pace the room while cracking his knuckles—an annoying habit made worse by the hollow clunk of his chitin armor. Neloth grit his teeth against the urge to yell at him over the unnecessary noise and drama. “Besides, I am…they won’t let me leave Vvardenfell anytime soon. And what are you really going to do over there by yourself?”

“House Dres needs to be put in their place, and I need to regain favor after…well. You know.” He was relatively safe here in Sadrith Mora, but they’d sent the Morag Tong after him a handful of times in the recent past. Shame, that. A waste of good fighters. Neloth fidgeted with a soul gem on his bookshelf until it stood just right to refract the sun filtering in through his window. It acted like a prism and washed the floor with shifting multicolored light. For a fleeting second, the pristine order of the moment brought him peace. “There’s things you’ll never have to worry about at your rank. Or even as Hortator, if you do choose to go be whatever it is the Empire insists you’ve got to be.”

Sero’s face twisted through several emotions before it settled back into the familiar, frustrated scowl he always wore. “The Empire can go f—”

“ —yes, yes, we know your sentiment. Spare me the histrionics, if you don’t mind,” Neloth interrupted with a flap of his hand, “because we do rather have things to accomplish today if we aren’t simply going to wreak havoc on the Mainland as I’d intended.”

“You know, we will have to discuss that topic again later,” Sero drawled, scratching the back of his neck. “As much as I don’t want to. For now, though, you’re right.” He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Hortator. It’s madness.”

“I told you, you’re going to have to talk to Dratha first.”

“Neloth, she hates me. And you. And everyone, I think.”

“How on Nirn could anyone hate you, oh great Nerevarine,” Neloth droned dismissively. Sero shot him a glare and threw up his hands in disbelief. He muttered to himself in Dunmeris as he leaned against a far bookshelf, fiddling with some Dwemer gear or another Divayth Fyr had brought over the last time he’d deigned to visit Tel Naga.

Neloth grinned at his own minor victory and glanced over at the distracted Nerevarine, caught in the glare from the soul gem. His frown was etched into his face. Gods only knew the weight of all he was responsible lately was heavy enough to merit the dismay. Nobody seemed quite as capable of being so sullen over something as ridiculous as the entire Nerevarine situation. Well, perhaps now that it wasn’t quite a rumor anymore, it carried more weight. If any of this was real—though Neloth still had his doubts—it was a responsibility that came with expectations even Neloth would be remiss to shrug off in favor of this abolitionist nonsense.

He knew Sero was procrastinating. Neloth had called him on it earlier, though the comment had been deflected. Regardless, like anything worth having, he’d eventually have little choice but to take the title. Or—Sero being Sero—convince himself he’d already earned it. The utter chivalry of the entire situation got exhausting after a while. What had happened to the slovenly bandit with a chip on his shoulder? Neloth could have sworn it hadn’t been that long—months, if that—since he’d first arrived looking for, of all things, employment. It was a valid path for a reformed criminal. But a bandit with a boyish face he’d still been, nevertheless. Apparently, prophecy and legacy did a number on one’s priorities.

Though, come to think of it, Sero had never really been the type who allowed himself to be pointed in a direction and told to stab. He’d always been too clever for whatever he’d believed about himself all those years before. Not that Neloth would be caught dead telling the fool that, though.

Neloth shuddered at the implications of admitting any kind of respect for a non-mage, first of all, and an otherwise nameless urchin besides. Imagine. The Council would be in hysterics, and the ruse would be dropped, and every ounce of power he’d clawed back to himself would evaporate in the blink of an eye. No. Securing a seat on the Grand Council was imperative if he wanted to keep his status. One did not simply earn a seat the same as individual House Councils: one had to make connections—or honestly, more likely lie or commission writs to clear a spot. No. There had to be concrete proof of concept. What, exactly, could one do as a Grand Councilor that would advance the House’s position as a whole? -> Read the Rest on AO3

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minghaosslut · 9 months

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just a little short story i wanted to make after reading so many jeonghan cheating fanfics i thought i should make my own but reversed lol. this is my first story so pls don’t judge it’s just for fun tbh

warnings: female reader x joshua. smut. reader cheats on jeonghan with joshua.

never in a million years did i think i’d end up here. under THE joshua hong. moaning and screaming his name like it’s nobody’s business. under someone who is not my boyfriend. in a bed who’s not my boyfriends. having sex with someone who is NOT my boyfriend. normally i would be having a panic attack from all the guilt but in this moment i cant seem to care. is jeonghan a bad boyfriend? no. has jeonghan ever given me a single reason for me to be doing this to him behind his back? not at all. so why am i? why am i doing this to him? what seems to be an easy question to answer. i cant find the reason. “you like that baby?” i’m taken away from my thoughts when i hear joshua start speaking again.. “mmm y-yes right there” i can barely seem to speak from all the pleasure.. or guilt? or worry? i’m not sure. “how are you still so tight?” “is- ah fuck- is your boyfriend not pleasuring you enough or something?” he asks chuckling quietly to himself. that’s not true. jeonghan is an amazing lover in and out of bed. so that brings me back to my thoughts before. why am i doing this to him? is it because my 3 year crush on joshua has finally been reciprocated? i could’ve sworn my feelings for him had completely disappeared the moment i met jeonghan.. i keep asking my self why over and over. and i end up getting nowhere. i’m just a terrible person.. “you gonna cum baby?” you look up at joshua who is still pounding into you hard and fast.. this is probably the guilt eating me up but i’m suddenly not horny anymore.. “actually josh can you.. can you stop please?” you barely say. “huh??” he jolts into a stop still inside of you. “stop?? what the hell for!? i didn’t even cum yet!” “i-i know but i’m just not really in the mood anymore..” you say kind of embarrassed “god. i should’ve never given you a chance. you’re just like the rest of em. fucking slut” he spits at you while pulling out and disposing the condom. “what the fuck?” you say looking at him in disbelief “wow you are not the guy i thought you were.. i cannot believe i had a crush on you for three years.. no! i cannot BELIEVE i cheated on my boyfriend with you!” you basically scream. “hey babe that’s all on you. ain’t got nothing to do with me. and if you want my advice. i’d suggest you put that tight little skirt of yours back on and get back downstairs before your little boyfriend gets worried” he’s right.. it’s not his fault actually at all. it’s my fault. i cannot believe i did this.. jeonghan did nothing to deserve this. he trusted me and i betrayed him like it was nothing.. and for what? just for a quick fuck with an old crush who just so happens to be the biggest prick ever? god what has gotten into me.. “Y/N!!!” oh god. “sounds like he’s already searching for ya! good luck with that babe” joshua says while buckling his belt and walking out of the strangers room you guys were fucking in just seconds ago. “Y/N!!? WHERE ARE YOU?” fuck. you hear jeonghans voice from all the way downstairs even through the blasting music. you realize your still half naked on this strangers bed and quickly get up and re dress while preparing yourself to look your boyfriend in the eyes. there’s no way i can tell him tonight.. what the hell do i do…

sooo i’m not really planning on making a part two or what to even write for one. like i said this was and in the moment thing k decided to do just for fun but if this does ever blow up somehow i might consider writing one idk lol.

#jeonghan #seventeen #smut #angst #joshua #jihan #readerxjoshua #readerxjeonghan #seventeensmut #joshuasmut #jeonghansmut

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herrmannhalsteadproduction · 1 year

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Honesty. Horrible, Horrible Honesty. (Chapter Three)

Summary: This is Part Eighteen of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Teen and Up

Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, pre-Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples

Warnings: Referenced Domestic Violence and Threatening Behaviour (these are warning tags for a brief scenes with Ty), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, A Brief Scene of Violence, Mild Injury, Swearing, Characters Working Through Trauma, Repairing Relationships, Fluff, I Swear There are Funny Bits Along with the Emotional Bits

A/N: To underscore my previous note, this is an alternate universe so things have unfolded differently. This will not follow the canon arcs exactly by any means. But I hope you'll still enjoy it!

Chapter One Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Will

They got Bex through the night.

Barely.

It took every ounce of his self-control not to bust into the bathroom when he heard her sobbing and then an extra measure not to storm over to Jay’s to yell at him all over again.

Instead, he took a deep breath and left food (and tissues) outside the door as needed.

And sat on the couch with Connor and Kol as a miserable little trio.

Connor ended up leaving around midnight since they did have to work at seven am.

Bex and Emery emerged from the bathroom on unsteady legs around two am and he helped Emery bundle Bex into bed. On her side. With a bucket on the floor.

Just in case.

Emery seemed to be in better shape. He made noise about calling in to work so he could watch Bex and she told him not to worry about it. She’d already pushed back her own return to work by a couple of days.

He hated leaving Bex in this state, but he knew that was the better solution.

His alarm went off far too soon after that and Will somehow managed to drag himself out of bed to get ready for work. Bex and Emery were still sleeping, but also still alive so that was a win.

After making sure the pain relievers were out on the counter in plain sight along with a note to text him when they woke up, he headed out for his shift.

This was going to be painful.

(Less painful than he thought though when Connor greeted him with fresh coffee and a bagel.)

***

Emery

Something—something had died in her mouth and there was pain and oh, right…

Tub drinking.

The devil’s pastime.

Thank god for Will and Connor being there to feed them or she’d be feeling a thousand times worse. She did her best to drink her half, but Bex wasn’t exactly in a sharing mood.

Speaking of—if Emery was feeling like this, she could only imagine what kind of shape Bex was in this morning. She lifted her head to check and was met with an empty other side of the bed.

That couldn’t be good.

Picturing Bex passed out in the bathroom, Emery hauled herself up into a sitting position and gave it a couple of minutes before she managed to stand.

Then the bedroom door burst open, banging against the wall, nearly giving her a heart attack, and there stood a grinning Bex.

What the fuck.

“Oh, good! You’re up!” Bex chirped. “Come on, I made breakfast.”

“What the fuck,” Emery managed to actually speak out loud this time. “How are you…” She waved a hand of general disgust and disbelief in Bex’s direction.

“Puke ‘n rally, Em. Puke ‘n rally.” Bex patted her tummy with a wink and turned back down the hall. “Come on! Food time.”

“She’s in pain,” Emery whispered to herself. “She’s hurting. You can’t murder her.” She took a bracing breath and made her way into the kitchen where— “Oh, my.”

The small kitchen table was piled high with every delicious, greasy breakfast food you could think of.

“Let me give you the tour,” Bex said, gesturing to the spread with a flourish. “We’ve got bacon, cheesy eggs, pancakes, French toast, home fries, and regular toast for our carbs. And coffee, tea, orange juice, apple juice, water, and chocolate milk for beverages. We need to hydrate.”

It was the hangover cure to end all hangover cures.

“Okay.” Emery took a seat and picked up a fork. “I’m going in.”

“That’s my girl,” Bex cheered, diving for the other chair.

They made their way through a respectable amount of the feast and Emery did admittedly feel about sixty percent more human afterwards.

A small whine sounded from the floor.

Kol. The little floof had been waiting patiently at their feet since they sat down so she snuck him a piece of bacon.

Just the one though because Will was very strict about his people food intake.

(Strict as in he wanted to be the one to give him treats.)

Emery gulped down some water and slumped back in her chair with a sigh. “So,” she said. “What’s the plan for today.”

“Going over to the Taggert’s studio tonight to do that song I owe them.” Bex stretched and shook out her hair before starting to weave it into a loose braid. “Pretty free schedule until then.”

Now that she was still, Emery could get a better look at her. Her voice was bright, but her eyes had dark shadows under them and they were missing the usual Bex spark.

“Why don’t we take it easy today?”

“We need to take Kol for a w-a-l-k,” Bex said, spelling it out because the smartie-pants pup already knew all of the important words. “And then, I don’t know. I feel antsy—I want to—ugh, hang on.”

She picked up her buzzing phone and silenced the incoming call.

“What’s going on there?” Emery asked with nod at the phone that was already buzzing again.

“Jay.” Bex frowned down at the screen before typing out a message. “He wants to talk.”

“Uh-oh.” On the one hand, Emery was glad he was reaching out. She hoped it meant he was finally figuring out how badly he’d screwed up. On the other hand, Bex shouldn’t have to have any kind of discussion with him until she was ready. “Want me to run interference?”

Bex dropped her phone down on the table. “Honestly? I don’t know. All I know is I don’t want to talk to him. Not now. Not…for awhile.”

The phone buzzed again and Emery reached for it, pausing for Bex’s approving nod before she picked it up. She scrolled up through the text messages to see multiple messages from Jay, ignoring Bex’s requests to give her space and continuing to plea for her to talk to him.

Including this most recent message.

JAY:

Please, just a few minutes. A phone call even. I need to explain. Please, Bex.

BEX:

Jay, this is Emery. What you NEED to do is back off. You’re the one who screwed up. You don’t get to dictate when Bex will listen to you or IF she’ll accept the very heartfelt apology you better be working on. She needs space. Give it to her. No texts. No calls. And under no circumstances are you to come here. I’LL let you know when she’s ready.

The three dots signaling he was typing a reply appeared and disappeared for a long time before he finally wrote back.

JAY:

Take care of her

She didn’t bother responding to that. She’d had her own rough patch with Bex so to a certain extent, she felt like she couldn’t judge Jay too harshly. BUT, she’d also talked her shit out with her friend and owned up to the parts she needed to.

Jay had a long way to go to own up to his.

Interference successfully run, she set the phone down and focused back in on Bex. “So, walk?”

Kol immediately leapt to his feet and started barking.

Whoops.

Bex just laughed. “Yeah, I guess we’re doing that first!”

Emery started helping to clean up breakfast while Kol danced impatiently between them. Anything Bex wanted to do today, she was onboard. Step by step, they’d get through this.

*** Will

Will had been checking his phone constantly for the updates from Emery on how the day was going. Bex was up and had been fed. They two of them took Kol out for a nice long walk, although apparently he’d been in a weird mood the whole time, growling at nothing.

They’d returned home about an hour ago and he hadn’t received any updates since.

He was sure it was fine.

Right?

Except he’d also had a few angry messages from Jay who must have realized that Bex now knew what he’d done which meant he’d tried to get in touch with her which…was making Will doubt that everything was fine.

He’d told Jay to get his priorities straight and to focus on making things right. It had been radio silence from him since then too.

Stuffing his phone back into his pocket, he sighed.

Will hadn’t had enough sleep today for this much sibling stress.

“Why don’t you zip home to check on her?” Connor said, catching him checking his phone for the millionth time. “There’s enough people on shift to cover and you can stick around a bit later to make up for it.”

“I can’t leave—”

“Everyone’s had their turns taking care of family emergencies,” Connor said. “Ask. Worst case, they say no and you ask Shay or someone to go check. I think your odds are good though considering how many people I’ve heard say they feel bad about the bet they had going on.”

“That’s fair—wait, what bet?”

“Oh.” Connor’s eyes went wide. “You didn’t know about it either? I thought it was just me.”

“What. Bet. Connor.”

Connor filled him in on everything he’d heard from Maggie about the long-running bet surrounding Mouse and Bex and their will they or won’t they relationship status.

Including the fact that Bex had found out about it and made sure no one would go after Mouse for how things ended up.

He loved their group of friends, but sometimes? They could get a little tunnel-visioned about their shenanigans.

Okay, that clinched it. He was going to head home and make sure things weren’t spiraling.

It took him a few minutes to clear it (negotiating it to be covered by his lunch break) and then another fifteen minutes to get home.

The only one there to greet him when he came through the door was Kol.

“Hey, boy,” Will said, crouching down to give him some love. “Were you being a growly-grumps today? Were you? Hey, where is everybody?”

Kol whined and looked toward the hallway. The faint sound of laughter drifted through the closed door of the bathroom.

Oh, crap. He really hoped they weren’t tub drinking again.

He and Kol crept down the hallway to listen at the door.

“This is crazy,” Bex said. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Just remember to take a little bit,” Emery said. “You can always do more later, but you don’t want to do too much too soon. I have to say it’s going great so far though.”

“You’re next!”

What the hell?

Will knocked on the door and both of them let out a little scream.

The bathroom door cracked open and Bex peeked out. “Oh! Will!” She opened it wider and he took in the scene before him.

Emery was sitting on the back of the toilet with her feet on the seat, her toes set in those little spacers that people used when they painted them. Each nail was a vibrant orange sherbet colour.

The sink had paper towel laid across it with large chunks of dark brown hair were strewn across the paper towel.

Bex had significantly less even hair than she had yesterday.

And scissors in her hands.

“Soooo,” Will said slowly. “How’s it going in here?”

“It’s a new day, Will,” Bex declared. “We’re embracing it by giving ourselves new looks.”

“I'm going for bangs next,” Emery helpfully informed him.

As far as coping mechanisms went, this seemed…not horrible.

And they were both sober so there was that.

“I’m glad you’re home,” Bex said as she carefully chose another lock of hair to chop off. “I was going to text you.”

“What’s up? Everything okay?” He leaned against the bathroom doorframe, trying to look relaxed and not ready to leap into action for whatever she might need.

Because he was being chill and letting her process.

“I’m going over to the Taggert’s studio tonight to record the song I owe them and Emery’s going to Kira and Malia’s,” she said. “We’ll both be home late so you’ll have the place to yourself.”

They turned in unison to give him twin eyebrow waggles.

“Stop, you know we’re taking it slow.” Will buried his face in hands like that would prevent the blush currently creeping into his cheeks.

Bex pried them away and sent him a soft smile. “Sorry, I’ll stop teasing,” she said. “I’m just excited for you.” She pulled him into a hug, having thankfully put the scissors down already, and he squeezed her back.

“I appreciate the excitement anyway. I gotta head back to Med, but I’m going to grab a sandwich first,” he said, pulling away. “Send me pictures later when your new looks are all done.”

“Count on it.”

He strode into the kitchen to make a quick lunch, Kol hot on his heels. Two bites in and there was slapping noise as Emery came in, walking carefully on her heels with her toes splayed out.

“Hey,” she said quietly. “I’m guessing you already know, but just in case, Jay knows that Bex knows.”

“I heard.” Will nodded with a grimace. “Is he being a problem? I can go talk to him—”

“I already shut him down,” Emery said, crossing her arms as her jaw tightened. “He’s been quiet since then.”

Will set his sandwich down and stepped over, giving her plenty of room to tell him to back off before opening up his arms. She penguin walked over into the hug.

“Thanks, Em,” he said. “Knowing you’re here for Bex has made all the difference.”

“What’s that thing her uncle says?” She looked up at him. “‘It’s what we do’, right?”

“Correct.” He patted her back before letting her go. “I just—I hope you know I’m here for you too, okay? If you need to talk?”

“I know,” she assured him. “Believe it or not, makeover day is actually helping a lot. Pretty sure I’m going to be able to handle anything with the fantastic bangs I have coming my way.”

“Emery!” Bex called from the bathroom. “I think I made the back crooked!”

“On that note,” she said and they both laughed. “See you later, Will. Have fun tonight!”

“I’m not—” He sighed as she waddle-walked out of the room with a backwards wave.

Whatever. Mission accomplished. They were both doing okay and he could head back to work without worrying...

With slightly less worry.

Maybe he could use a distraction tonight…

He fed Kol a small piece of cheese as he texted Connor. “Keep that between us, bud,” he whispered, while giving him a scratch behind his ears.

Kol replied with a quiet boof.

Connor replied with an enthusiastic yes.

Calling out his goodbyes, Will headed back to work with a smile on his face.

*** Jay

Bex wasn’t talking to him.

Mouse wasn’t talking to him.

Will wasn’t talking to him.

How was he supposed to sort this out if no one would friggin’ talk to him.

*** Bex

Despite a rough moment in the middle there, the haircuts actually turned out cute.

Bex’s hair now fell to just above her shoulders and Emery had done some kind of magic with the flat iron to give it some cute waves. Emery had swoopy bangs and a few layers put in.

She also bullied Bex into letting her do her makeup and putting on something ‘appropriately rockstar-ish’ to wear to the studio. “You need to forget about everything for a few hours,” she said. “Flirt with Beau—”

“Emery—”

“I’m serious!” She tapped Bex’s nose with the make-up brush. “You’re going to wear those pants we made you get—you know the ones. Oh, and I have the perfect top for you. At the very least, let Beau flirt with you. As a treat. It’s pamper Bex day, right?”

Bex burst out laughing. “Okay, fine, show me this top.”

They finished getting ready and headed out. After dropping Emery off at Kira and Malia’s, Bex made her way to the studio, turning the radio on for company.

Anything was better than silence.

She’d been trying her best to power through this and she was—

She was exhausted.

Every time she thought about stopping to take a breath, everything started crashing back through her brain and it hurt. And now Jay wanted to talk and a large part of her wanted to say yes and get it over with. She hated feeling like this—she didn’t want to be mad at him, but she was.

She’d never been this mad at him in her whole life.

Bex didn’t know what to do with that.

And then there was Mouse—

No. Nope.

She couldn’t do this. She was not thinking about any of this. That was the plan.

The studio came into view and she pulled into the parking lot.

Maybe Emery was right and being a rock star for a few hours was just what the doctor ordered.

All she could do was try.

Bex pulled up her freakin’ tight pants and strode toward the door.

***

Beau

“Bex!” Elle cheered and Beau turned in his seat to see their guest coming through the door looking like she was strutting out onto the stage.

“Damn, Bexie girl,” he said with a low whistle. “Looking good.”

“Don’t be gross.” Elle smacked the back of his head as she went past him to give Bex a hug.

“It was a compliment!”

Pete chuckled at him, shaking his head as he set his bass down and went over to join the group to say hello.

“What do you think of the song?” Patti was asking Bex who immediately started gushing over it.

They’d debated a lot over which one would be best to utilize her talents on and eventually settled on Beautiful Life. Having a greater depth to the vocals would make it even more of a powerhouse anthem than it already was.

Definitely a solid choice to anchor the album with.

Beau patiently waited his turn until he could say hi to Bex and give her a hug. Once he got up close, he could tell something was off. On the surface, she looked great, but—

Something was definitely going on.

He shot a look over her head at his sisters who both shrugged. At least they were as in the dark as he was. He hated being left out of things.

And now they had a whole recording session to get to the bottom of it.

“Let’s get started!”

***

Bex

Being Rockstar Bex helped right up until she remembered the lyrics to the song she’d signed up for. Singing about it being a beautiful life when love was on your side was…

Not what the doctor ordered.

But she powered through, she rocked it out, and she thought she did a pretty good job, thank you very much.

They had a round of high fives when Patti finally declared they had enough to put together a perfect cut and Bex settled in while they told her how the rest of the album was shaping up.

“That’s enough about us,” Elle said after twenty minutes of shop talk. “When are you going to tell us what’s up with you?”

“Me? Nothing’s up—”

“Raise your hand if you call bullshit.” Elle raised her hand and Patti and Beau immediately followed suit.

Pete slowly raised his too, shoulders inching up in regret along with it. “Sorry, Bex.”

“Is it seriously that obvious?” She thought she’d been doing pretty good at maintaining.

“You don’t have your usual spark,” Patti said gently as she came over to perch on the arm of Bex’s chair. “Want to talk about it?”

Ugh, this was not how tonight was supposed to go. “I don’t want to dump my crap on you guys.”

“Isn’t that what friends are for?” Pete asked with a kind smile. “Plus, sometimes, it helps to talk to people who are a bit removed from whatever’s going on.”

She looked between all four of their encouraging and open faces and felt herself caving. Maybe Pete was right and talking to people who weren’t right in the thick of it could be helpful.

Give her a different perspective and a better idea of how to handle things.

“Okay, fine,” she said, slumping back in her chair and letting the whole story spill out of her—from Jay and Mouse’s relationship to how things had been building between her and Mouse with a little sidebar to cover the Jay and Erin stuff and even the AJ business and ending with how it had all gone so totally and completely wrong.

The four of them sat in stunned silence when she finished.

“…well, shit,” Elle finally said and Bex barked out a laugh.

“Pretty much.”

“Okay, you guys need to leave for a bit,” Beau said, waving a hand at his sisters and Pete and was met with immediate protests that he cut off. “I’m serious. Bex and I need to have a single people conversation.”

What. Since when— “What happened to Alyssa?”

“She broke up with me last week,” he said, shaking his head when Bex tried to apologize. “We weren’t that serious. That’s not what I want to talk to you about…once these three leave.”

“Come on, Beau—”

“You two are engaged and stupid in love,” he said, pointing at Patti and Pete before turning on Elle. “And you have a new girlfriend that you’re head over heels for—”

“I can’t help it if Alexis is a literal goddess.”

“Yes, thank you for proving my point,” he said with a firm nod. “You’re all too grossly in love to be helpful. I’m the only one equipped to help with heartbreak due to my…years of experience.”

Pete patted his shoulder as he sighed.

“Okay, fine,” Patti said, throwing her hands up. “We’ll go get some dinner and be back in—”

“At least an hour,” Beau cut in.

“You better be actually helpful to her.” Patti narrowed her eyes at him and he crossed his heart.

The three of them gave Bex hugs and filed out of the room, leaving her alone with Beau.

This was definitely not how her night was supposed to go.

He went over to a cupboard in the corner and pulled out a bottle and two glasses.

Whisky.

So this was going to be a serious chat.

Beau plopped down in the chair beside her and set the glasses out on the little table in between them, pouring out a generous measure in each one.

He picked one up and held it out for a cheers so she did the same.

They sipped at their drinks in silence for a bit.

“I was in love once,” Beau said suddenly and Bex turned in her chair to face him more head on because this sounded serious. More serious than Beau had ever been with her.

“His name was Jake,” he continued. “He was…amazing. Smart, handsome, funny. I met him at a gig where he was bartending; he was putting himself through med school. It was, well, it was lust at first sight if I’m honest, but love came around pretty quickly after that.”

“What happened?” Bex whispered, stomach already sinking.

“We were together for over a year,” he said. “We moved in together. I thought ‘this is it, I’ve found my person’. I bought a ring, made us a fancy dinner at home, and proposed.”

Beau took another sip and was quiet for a few minutes. Bex waited him out. This one—she didn’t think he told this story very often. He deserved the space to tell it at his own pace.

“He looked so surprised when I asked him,” Beau said with a bitter little laugh. “Like it hadn’t even occurred to him that we should—that we could take the next step. He said he loved me, but he was building a serious future for himself and he just didn’t see us lasting for that.”

“What a freakin’ asshole,” Bex breathed out.

“Mm,” Beau nodded. “And yet, I was heartbroken and hung up on him for way too long.”

“Oh, Beau,” she sighed and reached out to give his hand a squeeze.

“That was eight years ago,” he said. “I was miserable for about a year before I said fuck it, if people think I’m short-term fun guy, I will be short-term fun guy.”

“When did that change?” She asked, thinking back on their conversation at Molly’s when he told her about truly wanting to find someone.

“About a year and a half ago when I met this girl at one of our gigs and she was so amazing, she made me want to put myself out there and let someone in for the first time in a long time.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet,” Bex said, taking a sip of her drink, feeling pleasantly buzzed at this point. “Did you ask her out?”

“Yeah.” Beau shot her a pointed look. “A few times, but she keeps saying no.”

Bex choked, coughing as the liquid burned its way down her throat. “Oh, you mean me?” He’d asked her out about fifty times and she’d always said no because it wasn’t like he was serious and—

Crap.

Now she felt like a jerk.

“You have been and remain incredibly hard to get through to,” he laughed, grabbing a tissue and handing it over. “But you turned into an even more amazing friend and I’m still hopeful that my person is out there somewhere.”

She scooted up in her chair, leaning toward him. “They are,” she said earnestly. “I know they are. You deserve someone amazing who will love you for everything that makes you amazing.”

He side-eyed her. “Are you sure you’re not interested?”

If only. “You also deserve not to be someone’s second choice,” she said and he clutched at his chest.

“Jesus, Bex.”

“You know what I mean, okay? If I said yes now, it would be because I’m hurting and that’s not fair to you.” It wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

It might be fun in the short term, sure, but she wasn’t willing to ruin what they had for that.

Beau refilled their glasses and got a sneaky look in his eyes. “How about we make a deal?”

She nodded for him to go on, wary, but too curious to not hear him out.

“If we’re both still single by the time you turn thirty,” he said, holding out his glass. “We give us a try.”

Thirty. She’d be twenty-five in a few months. Five-ish years from now? A lot could happen in five years. And giving them a try wasn’t some kind of huge commitment. What the heck. Why not? She clinked her glass against his. “I’m in.”

“Yes,” he cheered. “I’m sure Mouse is going to get his head out of his ass way before then, but I can dream.”

Bex snorted. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

“Have you talked to him yet?” Beau asked.

She shook her head. “I can’t—I—I don’t even know where to start, you know? I don’t understand why he gave up so easily.”

“The guy I saw at karaoke night was head over heels for you,” he mused. “Something about what Jay said must have really rattled him for him to walk away.”

“Jay knew which buttons to push,” she said, still so shocked at how he’d manipulated his connection to Mouse. “The problem is that I don’t even know if Mouse wants to talk. Jay was the catalyst, but I think it set off something deeper for him. I don’t know if we can get back to where we were. If he even wants to.”

“Bex, you know that’s not on you, right?” Concern threaded through his tone. “And you know that you deserve—”

“Beau, I really can’t talk about this right now,” she pleaded with him. “It’s too much. I can’t—”

Trying to untangle it with Emery last night had been hard enough. She still felt too raw to try and examine it all over again.

“Okay,” he said quickly. “Okay, new topic. What about Jay?”

“Ugh. You suck.” Bex finished off her drink with a grimace and reached out to top it off again. “If I saw Jay right now, all I would do is scream at him.”

“And?” Beau raised an eyebrow at her. “What’s wrong with that? He deserves it. My sisters and I yell at each other all the time when we’re mad. Families fight. And then you work through it.”

“I have never been this mad at Jay,” she said, trying to figure out how to make him understand. “Never ever in our whole entire lives. It feels too big—too much. Like if I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop and I’m scared of saying something that would…ruin us.”

“More than he already has?”

“Beau.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “All I’m saying is that keeping that kind of anger in is going to hurt you the most in the end,” he said. “Trust me. I know from experience.”

“Pushing it down feels easier right now,” she muttered into her glass before taking another gulp.

Beau gingerly took it out of her hand and set it on the table.

“I have an idea,” he said. “What would you say if I told you that I had a way that you could let some of that anger and frustration out and have a hell of a lot of fun doing it.”

Bex thought it over, feeling tipsy enough to be bold. “I’d say, I’m listening…”

Click here to read Chapter Four. Click here to read Chapter Five. Click here to read Chapter Six. Click here to read Chapter Seven. Click here to read Chapter Eight. Click here to read Chapter Nine. Click here to read Chapter Ten. Click here to read Chapter Eleven.

(If you want to see Bex's hair cut, it's in the third photo set here - the one where she's with Mouse. And a reminder that DOROTHY is the inspiration for Taggert's sound. Beautiful Life can be found on their album Gifts from the Holy Ghost.)

Click here to read Honesty. Horrible, Horrible Honesty. on ao3:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @iunnowatuwant, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @ivyalmighty, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3, @multifandomgrl08, @foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @thebewingedjewelcat

Thanks for reading! More to come!

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halloweenhoneylover · 2 years

Text

running the red

summary: prequel to slow going. there’s a party in a house in the suburbs on a chilly night in march. (steve harrington x fem!reader)

word count: 4.1k

warnings: some fluff, mostly angst, listen to bags by clairo while reading for real pain

author's note: reposted bc it wasn't showing up in the tag so fingers crossed. also both parts can be read independently or not.

Somebody with a big house had parents that were out of town.

You usually liked parties. You liked the music, the dancing, and as long as you brought your own alcohol, the drinks weren’t bad. There was something exhilarating about being a young person at a party, feeling like you were doing something right finally. Something was off tonight though, and you found yourself struggling to have a good time.

You knew why. Earlier in the evening, you had been fine, sitting at your vanity smudging on eyeliner and chatting mindlessly with Robin who was close to burning herself on your curling iron. Finally, she flew too close to the sun, and you heard her hiss behind you. “Shit.” You heard her trot to your bathroom, turn on the faucet, and splash water on her burn. “How do you not injure yourself with this every time you use it?” she called.

“I don’t know, might just be you, man. Wouldn’t say that dexterity is your strong suit.” You wielded the mascara wand masterfully, blinking it onto a curled lash.

She returned to your room. “You just make it look so easy.”

“Not everyone can play with the pros, baby girl.”

Collapsing onto the floor with a grimace, she pointed to the table in front of you. “Can you pass me the blush?”

Absentmindedly, you tossed it to her which she fumbled helplessly onto the ground. “Zero for two, Jesus Christ.”

From behind you, there was a knock. “What’s up, ladies?”

You turned to see a grinning Steve leaning on the doorframe of your bedroom.

Robin put the blush down momentarily. “You know, I don’t love it when you greet us like we're some of the poor girls you prey on at work.”

His face screwed up in disgust. “Please don’t frame me as a predator. I don’t need that kinda baggage.”

You looked sympathetic. “It must hamper your really incredible game.”

His jaw dropped in betrayal. “Don’t team up on me here!”

You turned to Robin with faux disbelief and tutted disapprovingly. “I can’t believe that Steve is actively opposed to female solidarity.”

She shook her head. “And to think he calls himself a feminist ally.”

“I am!” he spluttered indignantly. “Don’t spin my words against me, you guys are the worst.” You extended a hand to Robin which she high-fived while Steve grumbled under his breath. “Why do I drive you guys anywhere?”

You turned back to the mirror to finish up your mascara. “Because we’re your good friends, and you care for us deeply.”

Behind you, Steve gazed at you with an intensity he couldn’t comprehend while something in his chest itched uncomfortably. Out of the corner of his eyes, he caught Robin making a heart shape out of her hands and pouting her lips in a caricature of fake kisses. He shook his head at her with pinched brows like he didn’t understand, and she narrowed her eyes at him because obviously, he did. From his place at the doorway, he kicked out a foot to gently rock her backwards, and she slapped his foot away aggressively.

“You guys aren’t even speaking, how does it always devolve into physical altercations?” You twisted the cap on your mascara and fluffed up your hair.

“Because sometimes a slap upside the head is the only way to get a point through his thick skull,” Robin retorted.

“Robin, I told you I’m self-conscious about how big my head is, why would you say that?”

“It’s a saying, dingus! It doesn’t actually describe the circumference of your head, oh my god.” She stood and placed the blush on the vanity next to you. “I have to pee.” Then, she stormed out.

You got up from your seat to stand in front of Steve with an oddly serious look on your face. He was about to ask you what you were doing when you grabbed his head, and his eyes widened, but you just tilted it around, inspecting with furrowed brows. You shook your head. “Nope, seems pretty normal-sized to me.”

Steve just grinned down at you.

—

Somehow, you got shafted in Nose Goes and forced into the backseat. You hated the backseat. It always felt like you were a child being driven around by your parents, and you always found yourself hauling yourself in between the front seats to participate in the conversation.

Squished between the seats and arm propped on the center console, you rested your chin on your palm. “Whose house are we going to again?”

“Cindy M’s.”

“How do we know Cindy M?”

“I’ve been on a couple dates with her recently.”

“Dates plural?” Robin asked incredulously.

“Yes, dates plural.” He shot her a disapproving look. “I don’t know it’s been going pretty well.”

You stared at the radio, glowing in the dark of the car. Suddenly, you were burdened with the task of Acting Normal despite very unforgiving circumstances: going to the house of a girl who your best friend was seeing with said best friend who you were harboring immense, sticky feelings for. Your eyes were wide, begging for help while you stared at Robin who also felt incredibly panicked.

Your mental telepathy was well-honed, so she received the message beamed through your expression. Did you know?

To which she responded with a silent Of course I didn’t!!!

And then, you failed your Acting Normal challenge and slouched into the backseat, and to cover up your fatal mistake, you piped up from the back, “Will we get to meet this special lady tonight?”

Somehow missing the incredible mental communication happening beside him, Steve shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe. She’s hosting, so she might be busy.”

Oh my god, he’s embarrassed of us, you thought to yourself. You stretched out in the backseat to maybe die. As if this could get any worse.

—

It could get worse. The party was fine, nothing special, but contrary to Steve’s earlier prediction, you did get to meet Cindy M, and she was perfectly nice and pretty and interesting.

It was horrible.

The worst part was that you couldn’t even hate her, that in another life, if she wasn’t courting your crush, you might actually be friends. Robin watched in horror as you chatted with Cindy lightheartedly enough, even cracking a couple jokes now and then, and she saw the hope drain from your eyes.

Steve appeared from around a corner with two red solo cups in his hand, one of which he handed to Cindy. She grabbed it and smiled up at him, and when she said thanks!, you could see her perfect, shiny, white teeth flashing, and somehow that was the thing that pushed you over the edge.

Ducking your face into your cup, you disguised the disappointment flooding your features. You cleared your throat, trying to swallow down the lump that had formed there before looking up with a bright smile of your own. “I think I might also need a refill.”

“Me too,” Robin added quickly.

Steve tore his eyes away from the pretty girl in front of him to look at you both. “Do you guys want me to get them?”

“No, we’re good! You keep her company.” You flashed a smile at Cindy who smiled back at you, and when you couldn’t wish her the worst, you ducked into the mass of people to somehow find your way to the kitchen. Robin trailed close behind you, almost falling into people as she tried to keep pace with you. By the time you emerged into the relative clearing that was the kitchen, Robin was panting.

“Your uncanny ability to maneuver through large masses of people is something I will never be able to understand.”

“Oh my god, Robin, she’s so nice.” Completely ignoring Robin’s previous statement, you crossed your arms on the kitchen island and rested your head on them. She laid a wary hand on your shoulder and tried to think of something comforting.

“Maybe she’ll, like, get hit by a car or something.”

You lifted your head to glare at her. “Do you know how bad it is, Robin? It’s so bad that I don’t even wish great misfortune upon her. So don’t say shit like that.” Your head was placed back on your arms.

“Okay, I’m sorry. But maybe Steve doesn’t even like her that much.”

“He’s gone on dates, Robin! Plural! I’m fucking screwed!”

Finally relenting her crusade of optimism, she admitted, “Yeah, it really sucks.” She observed you in your position of misery against the counter. “Do you wanna go home?”

“We have no way of getting there.”

“I don’t know, I’ll call…Keith.”

That brought you out of your distressed state of collapse. “You would call Keith for me?”

She shrugged a little with the ghost of a smile. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

Maybe you were a little tipsy because you weren’t a very touchy person regularly, but you launched yourself at her into a hug. “Thank you.” It came out muffled against her jacket. You removed yourself from her, and when you saw the interminable sympathy in her eyes, you sighed. “I very much appreciate the gesture, but neither one of us should get in a car with Keith ever, I think? And I think I’ll survive. It’s a party! I can have fun.”

“You sound really convincing.”

“I can have fun.” The sight of a familiar bottle in your peripheral vision caught your eye, so you grabbed it and held it up in victory. “We’re doing tequila shots.”

Robin eyed the bottle warily. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

Grabbing the shot glasses and filling them, you reassure her, “This’ll be fun. We’ll both take a shot and refill our drinks, so we’re drunk enough to have fun but not too drunk, so we’re still classy, and it’ll be great! Limes!” From somewhere on the counter, you found a bowl of pre-cut lime wedges. (Cindy was a really great host.) Grabbing the salt, you poured some on the back of both your hands.

“Ready?” You looked at Robin whose concern had faded but not disappeared entirely. Glancing at the shots and then back up at you, she shrugged.

“Oh, what the hell.” You cheered, and you both licked the salt off your hands, downed the shots, and sucked the lime wedges. Giggling, you stuck both of your hands up for a double high-five that Robin granted you readily.

“See? It’s fun, not sad!”

—

For a while, you were right. The party could be pretty fun, and you remembered why you liked them. The music, the dancing, the drinks. Having dragged Robin into the density of the living room to dance, you were now sweating profusely, and your quads were becoming sore from bent knees for hip swaying. Only when you felt some rando’s hand on your waist did you feel the need to remove yourself from the crowd with Robin following behind.

Emerging from the mass of people breathlessly, you bumped into someone on the outskirts of the living room, and you began to apologize profusely when you looked up to see a familiar face. “Hey, Vickie,” you cheered pointedly.

“Vickie!” Robin echoed with eyebrows raised and a tripping heart. “Hi—uh—how are you?”

Ginger hair curling at her sharp jaw, she gave a toothy grin. “Hey, guys! Fancy running into you here!”

“Crazy coincidence, I know!” you replied, tone stilted. “You know, I hate to do this, but I need to go refill my drink, but luckily, Robin here can keep you company!” You stared at your friends intensely with eyes that read This is a golden opportunity, and legally, you have to take it.

The message must have been conveyed because Robin was giving you a thumbs up, and you were thrust back into the labyrinth of people that made up the hallway. Ducking around kissing couples and conversations, you found the back door that led out onto a patio, but it was filled with people playing pong, so you redirected into the entry foyer which was relatively unpopulated. Needing a quiet space to catch your breath for a couple minutes, you thought about going upstairs but then figured that you were more likely to encounter horny young people and their accompanying noises than peace and quiet. For a moment, your mind drifted to Steve and Cindy M, and you wondered if they had gone upstairs. Your stomach twisted, and you couldn’t tell if it was from the thought of them or the alcohol, so you decided you needed some fresh air and stepped out the front door.

It was March, and March in Indiana is fickle. However, today was decidedly a recollection of the winter that had only just faded a couple weeks ago, but the cold was a welcome refuge from the overwhelming heat of young adult bodies pressed together. Almost as soon as you stumbled off the porch step, a gust of wind bit at your nose, and a crop of goosebumps prickled over your arms. Shivering, you thought back to the moment you had left your house.

“You’re stupid if you’re leaving without a jacket,” Steve chided from the doorway and the warmth of his own jacket. Halfway over your front lawn to his car, you turned to grin at him.

“We’re never gonna be outside for long. The walk from your car to the house and back! I’ll be fine, mom.”

Knowing you wouldn’t be going back in the house despite his protests, he shut the door behind him, sauntering onto your stoop. “You say that now, but when we’re walking out, you’re gonna whine, and I’m gonna have to give you my jacket, and then I’m gonna be cold, and that’s not fair to me.”

“I’m not gonna whine!” you protested.

“I know you, [Y/N/N]. You’re the biggest whiner of them all.” He had finally caught up to you in your yard and knocked you with his shoulder as he teased.

“Okay, then just don’t give me your jacket if you’re gonna be a baby about it.” Together, you trudged towards his car, your arms wrapped around yourself to protect you from the chill. He noticed this and gave you a knowing look.

Rounding the front of the car to get to the driver’s side, he retorted, “I’m not the baby in this situation.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop the smile pulling at your lips. “Whatever you say, Harrington.

You never liked admitting that he knew better, but you had to give him his due as you clutched yourself in Cindy M’s front yard. It was deserted, a few solo cups abandoned in the grass, but at this point, it was just you and the line of cars in the driveway. A wobble in your knee suggested that perhaps sitting was your best option at the moment, so you stumbled to the curb at the end of the lawn and heaved yourself onto the ground. Scuffing your shoe against the fine gravel that had collected where the road met the curb, you tried to think about anything but Steve to no avail. You hugged your knees to your chest and sighed with steely regret pumping through your veins. At least Cindy lived at the end of a dead end, so there were no cars and hopefully no neighbors to witness your pity party.

“What happened to not leaving the premises of the party?”

Steve’ familiar voice called out behind you, the smile evident in his voice, but you could hear the grass rustling like he was trotting over to you, so you didn’t turn. Instead, you hunched your shoulders further and pressed your shins closer.

You waited until he arrived next to you, so you wouldn’t have to raise your voice. “What are you talking about?”

Settling beside you, he splayed his legs out and fiddled with his empty cup. “I know how you like to hide away in some secluded part of the party that you think only you can find, but you’re not as sneaky as you think.” You turned your head to look at him. He jutted his chin out, watching the stillness of the night in front of you like he was on guard from something hiding just out of sight. Gazing at him with discerning eyes, you mourned, thinking that nobody ever gave him credit for how observant he was. It was rather tragic that Steve Harrington was convinced he was stupid when he really wasn’t.

“I didn’t think anybody ever noticed I was gone.”

“I do.” His head swiveled to look down at you, and you shifted your gaze away, unable to meet his eyes. He wondered why you wouldn’t look at him. “I notice.” For a moment, it was so quiet that all that could be heard was the rustling of the wind in the trees, but Steve didn’t often care much for silence. “Besides, you’re always gone for huge chunks of time.”

“I’m only ever gone for, like, twenty minutes at most.”

“That’s a long time.” He tucked his chin to his chest when he was finally convinced you wouldn’t look at him. “‘S a long time without you, [Y/N/N].” But that feels too sticky, too touchy-feely, so he stumbled out new words to cover the old ones. “Always get worried about you, think something’s happened to you. There’s some jerky guys in this town, and I wanna make sure you’re safe, so I always find you and make sure you’re good.”

“You haven’t ever said anything about it before.” You crossed your arms over your knees and rested your chin there, trying to see what he sees in the shadows.

“I have, though.”

For the first time since he came out, you met his eyes, and you looked confused. “I don’t remember that.”

When he chuckled, you could see the wispy steam churning from his hot breath. “I bet you don’t. You were pretty gone that night, and when I went to go check on you, you were sitting in a tree twenty yards into the woods behind Andrew Clark’s house chatting with yourself.”

You looked mortified, squeezing your eyes shut, and Steve laughed. “You’re joking.”

He leaned to bump you with his shoulder, and it was like his laughter was contagious because at his touch, you devolved into embarrassed giggles. “No, I’m not. There was some singing too. Did you know you’re a real Whitney Houston when you’re drunk?”

“Oh god.”

“Honestly, it was the only way I found you that night. Heard Saving All My Love for You echoing through the trees.” He grinned at you as you buried your face in your shoulder. “But we got you down without breaking any legs, and I told you that you could still have your alone time at parties as long as you remained on the premises, so I wouldn’t have to come fishing you out of trees.”

Looking back to the house and then back at him, you said, “I think I’m still technically on the premises right now.”

He tutted at you disapprovingly before slapping the curb with his hand. “See where you’re sitting right now? Who d’you think paved it? The Millers? Nah, the city did. So, I think that means technically, you’re on the mean streets of Hawkins alone at night.”

You gestured to the still suburbia in front of you. “Seems super dangerous to me.”

He looked back into the darkness with a small smile and something serious staining his gaze. “You never know.”

A particularly strong gust of wind breezed around you, and you slid your hands up and down your arms, trying to create friction. Rolling his eyes beside you, Steve began to shoulder off his jacket. “What did I tell you about bringing a coat?”

“Steve, really, you don’t have—” But he was as stubborn as you, pulling the jacket over your bare arms despite your protests. Not willing to contest it once it was on because its heat was undeniable and necessary (and it smelled like his cologne), you tugged it on tighter, grumbling a quiet thanks.

“Why’d you come out here?” His question felt sharp against your sternum and maybe he could see the trepidation on your face because he continued, “Just that it’s so cold, and I’m sure there were plenty of good hiding spots upstairs.”

You decided to be honest. “Too many horny people upstairs.”

That kicked a laugh out of him. “Suppose that’s true.”

“Like the cold too.”

He scoffed at that. “What, you like to suffer?” And sitting next to him, you think, yeah, I do.

Maybe that’s the realization that pushed you into action because something deep in you ached, and the soft part of you was crying, begging to stop suffering. Or at least, to suffer in a different way, to suffer with the glory of truth. Once it occurred to you, it bubbled up endlessly into your throat, and you had to stop yourself from vomiting out all your feelings at once.

“Steve, I have to tell you something.”

As if he could tell everything in you had sobered up, he straightened his back and with a soft gaze, answered, “Okay.”

“It’s big and scary, though.” Your eyes were big and round and shiny as they looked up at him, and it was unnerving for him. You tended to be opaque, hard to read on purpose, but now, he could look in your eyes and see your fear plainly.

He nodded, trying to reassure you. His eyebrows pinched together in concern. “Okay.”

Looking at the ground because you could no longer look at him, you whispered. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Frowning, he shook his head. “What’d you say? I couldn’t hear.”

“Um,” you gulp hastily, trying to reorient yourself so you wouldn’t come out guns ablazing. “I don’t know if you could tell, but when we first met, I hated you.” He laughed at that, and it egged you on. “Um yeah, I thought you were the worst. ‘Cuz in school, you were the worst. But then we started talking, and I realized you weren’t the same guy, and I actually really liked talking to you. You made me laugh, you were nice.” Something in your chest gave out, maybe it knew you were getting to the hard part. “And—”cough”—and I don’t know when it happened, my heart started to beat really fast whenever you were around, and I’d start to freak out because I wouldn’t know what to say to you, and that had never happened before.”

The pieces of the puzzle were fitting together in Steve’s mind, and something pleasant and curly commingled with dread in his stomach.

“I can’t really explain it, Steve, but I like you. A lot.” Your big moony eyes shined up at him again, and Steve saw a different ‘l’ word there. “And I know I really shouldn’t say this to you while we’re at the house of the girl you’re dating, but I was gonna literally throw up if I didn’t say anything, and I don’t expect you to, like, drop her and sweep me off my feet or anything.” Your voice shrunk, thin and barely audible with the weight of your heart. “ I just figured if anyone could let me down easy, it’d be you.”

The rustling of leaves in the trees. The hush of the grass in the wind. He looked at you with an unfathomable expression, and the deep brown of his eyes flicked rapidly as he searched your face. You didn’t know what he was looking for.

You didn’t want to rush him by any means, but you were sitting there with your heart in your hands, beating, bleeding, and it was awfully hard to breathe.

“Steve,” you begged. “Could you please say something?” A rough swallow. “Anything?”

It felt momentous. Earth-shaking, even. The ground beneath Steve was rolling, and he had no idea what to do. Inside the house, there was a pretty girl waiting for him, and it would be safe and easy to go back in there and kiss her and try to love her. Out here on the edge of the world with you, he could fall off the precipice at any second, and it would hurt worse than anything that could happen inside that stupid house, and Steve couldn’t help but think that you were right. It was big and scary.

His chest rose and fell with big breaths, and he still hadn’t looked away. The soft part of him was yelling at him too.

He didn’t feel entirely in control of himself as he stood wordlessly. He wished you would close your fucking eyes. They were cavernous and sad, and tears were seeping at the corners. He turned his head away because he couldn’t look anymore. Especially as he turned and walked back up to the house.

read slow going here.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington angst #steve harrington #stranger things

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myriad-miscellaneous · 10 months

Text

vignette dump

i’ve got all these brain worms that i want to share but will probably never be finished own full-fledged stories. the first one of these is already at 3.2k words and it doesnt feel remotely finished omg

i'm never going to get past my mental hurdle to actually write smut, am i?

"If a demon can achieve godhood like you, then tell me," he growls. "Is there a chance that, demon and monster that I am, could I be like you? Can I find purification in the wake of your vaunted flames, Professor? Will I find salvation if I were to follow your lead — as I so blindly did a lifetime before?"

A sliver of his heart still capable of hope prays that her cold, soft-spoken voice tells him that he can, that he is deserving, that all his sins could be forgiven and swept away as easily as the clouds before the breeze. But, as always, his prayer is a useless gesture — a testament to his ineptitude that he dares to hope at all. She does not tell him any of those things. She does not tell him anything at all at first, meeting his plea with only silence.

"...Dimitri," she says finally, as if that is her answer, and he bites his tongue to stop himself from shouting that the fool who once went by that name is dead.

Her sea green hair rustles with a sad shake of her head, and she crouches down to meet him, searching for a gaze that turns fearfully away from hers. "I am neither, Dimitri," she whispers, and the sound is too loud, nearly deafening against the vast emptiness of the cathedral. Hearing her voice rattles him like thunder, shakes him like a Thoron cast through his racing heart.

"I am and I have only ever been human," Byleth tells the walls behind him, averting her eyes to avoid spooking him any further. "I was your professor for a time, but now not even that. Now, I suppose, I am no one at all…"

"Ha!" he barks. "Do you claim to be a ghost, then? Do not be so delusional, Professor." He spits the title like a swear, the title that he used to exclaim with such joy, such excitement, such — don't-say-it-don't-fucking-say-it-you-wretch — love — fuck — once upon a time. His voice grows harder, harsher, from his self-directed fury. "As long as that heart of yours beats, pumps blood within your whole, hale skin and bone, you cannot contend to be one of the many spectres that haunt me. You have said the same yourself."

"Then take it."

He lifts his aching head to behold the piercing glow of green in her eyes, searing with hurt and something that does not look like wrath, which would be what he rightfully deserves. Behind her beautiful, haunting visage is a blend of resignation and determination, and it bores into his soul more powerfully than even the memory of her bewitching smile.

He is mesmerized all over again when she pledges herself, heart, body, and soul to him, as if he is the god and she, the believer.

"If you need a heart, Dimitri, then I will give you my heart," she says. "If you need a sword, then I will be your sword. And when you need someone to show you the way, then I will become that person to guide you back. Ghosts and gods should not dictate the paths of the living."

And he laughs, oh, how he laughs, cackling like the madman that he is — not from the sheer blasphemy of her words, though she would likely be put to the stake had she told anyone actually devout, but from the idiotic notion that she believes he deserves her help or anything at all. He is a man steeped in sin.

…He is a man steeped in sin, he realizes, and the flash of greed that flickers to life in his mind seems like a mere speck against his mountains of misdeeds.

"If—" And he stumbles over the words; he's indignant, outraged, in disbelief at what he's about to say, but that is Dimitri feeling all of those human foibles, and he is a savage beast.

"I-if your words ring true, then kneel. Offer your body to your king."

She leaves him.

That is — she should be leaving him; that's what she's supposed to do, but, oh goddess, she's not; she's staying; she's kneeling, and what in the eternal flames was he expecting when he explicitly ordered her to do that?

He curses himself, but the thought is drowned in the cacophony of screeches from his dearly departed. His step-mother hangs her head in despair, even as it hangs by a flap of skin to her neck. His father is all outrage, assaulting him with a flurry of questions: What do you think you're doing? Will doing this bring you any closer to our murderer's head? How could I raise this as my son?

Glenn clicks his tongue in disgust and doesn't even face him. I can't believe that I died just for you to get your dick wet.

Glenn's comment stings most of all, and Dimitri prepares himself to send her away — tell her that it was just a tasteless joke, just like his joking not-joke at the Goddess tower.

But then Byleth, obeying the spirit of his law but not the letter of it, begins to strip, and the words disappear with all his ability to think.

Bits of metal clang against the stone floor, and he swears that he can hear the goddess laughing cruelly at him through the echoes. Illuminated in the moonlight pouring down from the broken rooftop, her vessel looks every inch divine, soft curves and sinuous muscle, and he is helpless, pathetic, weak. He is a mortal, a man, and (he tells himself that) instinct possesses him the moment that she casts off her shirt. With only inches in between them, the hem of her clothing grazes against his gauntlet.

The new archbishop had brushed away the dust coating the headstone, plopped her bum onto the grass, and spoken aloud to the frigid air. In hindsight, a living confidant might have been better, but sharing the news with her parents first just seemed right.

So she told them, or what she had left of them, about the proposal. About how her betrothed made her really, truly, happy, despite having every possible reason to languish in abject misery for eternity. About how he was the same, charming man who originally taught her what happiness was supposed to look and was supposed to feel like, a short lifetime ago. And about how he was to be crowned king of the United Kingdom of Fodlan in just a few hours' time.

And only after she finished her impromptu briefing — for just a fleeting moment — Byleth had heard her father's gravelly chuckle, stretching all the way down from his space in the heavens.

It is a preposterous thought, to be fair. Jeralt would've laughed and laughed and then drank himself into a stupor to cope once he realized that she was serious.

After all, the lifelong mercenary Byleth Eisner AKA the life-shortening Ashen Demon doesn't know a damn thing about nobles and noble etiquette, much less royal etiquette. The daughter of the Blade Breaker grew up using knives as forks and her hands as spoons and only bothered learning otherwise after a scandalized Lorenz blockaded the door to her quarters with etiquette textbooks.

Reading his disciplinary book report had been more punishment for her than it had been for him, come to think of it.

"Well, what are you waiting for, my king?" his beloved asked, cupping her breasts in a way that just barely — inadequately — protected her modesty. "Come and conquer me."

Dimitri awoke with a start, falling off his bed in his panic. "Professor!"

Sylvain awoke to the sound of a violent thump.

"It's not just revenge that I'm fighting for, Dimitri. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I choose to fight for what I believe in."

He scoffs. "And what might that be?"

Her lips quirk in what resembles a rueful smile, but it can't be counted as a smile — not with the crushing, despondent pain that wells up behind her eyes. "It's for a wish that I made long ago. Our wish."

He hasn't the patience for these games of vague words and masked intentions, but perhaps once upon a time he did, when he was still playing prince atop a stage of pretty words and ugly ambition.

"It's clear that you don't remember," she says, too quickly. "Maybe another time, then."

"I fight to create a world where no one will be unjustly taken from us again. That is my wish — to see yours brought to life."

"Even if you didn't remember it anymore; even if you didn't believe in it anymore — this has been the path that I've chosen for myself, Dimitri."

#dimileth #fe3h #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #dimitri x byleth #byleth fire emblem #fire emblem: three houses

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thebluewritingbench · 3 years

Note

if you’re still taking prompts, can you do happiness #1?

Before we launch into 6b next week, here's a small fantasy of a scene that I wish the cw would give us. Happiness #1 from this prompt list again.

“I’ve loved you since the day we met.”

“Alex calls it The Honesty Policy.”

Lena takes the mug of hot chocolate Kara offers, cradling it between her hands. “The Honesty Policy?” she asks, as Kara sits down on the couch beside her.

“I imagine Kelly probably fed it to her,” Kara says. “But she was helping me try to figure out how we could get ourselves… well, back to normal, after everything, and she was really insistent that this one was worth a try.”

“What is it?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. No more secrets,” Kara says, tapping her own collarbone, then fixing her gaze pointedly on Lena. “No more lying. We tell each other things. We’re honest. We trust each other with our secrets.”

Lena nods, looking down into her mug of hot chocolate. The dim lights of Kara’s loft glow orange across her cheekbones, and in the silence, the sounds of late-night passing cars rumble up from the street below. It’s the first time they’ve really spent time truly alone together since… well everything.

There’s still a lot of awkwardness between them; turns out secrets and betrayal and double-crossing—and the fact that forgiveness was barely hatching between them when Kara was banished to the phantom zone—will do that to a friendship. There was the initial hug, of course, after Kara was rescued, when Lena wrapped her arms around Kara and buried her face in Kara’s neck and held her so tightly that Kara was certain she’d never let go, her breath coming in ragged gasps and her whole body quivering. It was somewhat surreal, the warm shock of having Lena in her arms after so many months, her hair against Kara’s cheek, the muted scent of her shampoo. They’d sank to the floor, still holding each as the ship creaked around them, and stayed there for god knows how long in each other arms.

But since then, since that initial wordless embrace that felt as much like coming home as anything, they haven’t known what to say to each other. They work together easily enough, the animosity between Supergirl and Lena finally gone, but it’s more difficult when they’re just Kara and Lena. They’ve forgiven each other, Kara thinks. Or at least agreed to forgive each other, even if there’s still work to be done. But it’s weird. It’s not like they can snap straight back into how things were before.

Hence The Honesty Policy.

“Okay,” Lena says finally. “Yes. No more secrets. A clean start.”

A clean start. It’s what they need, after an entire friendship where one or the other of them has been hiding things. For the first time, everything between them will be out in the open. Nothing left to hide.

It’s oddly freeing.

Kara takes a sip of her hot chocolate. “So, where do we start?”

“Start?”

“I think we should have just an honest conversation. I don’t want this to be awkward anymore, I want to be able to talk to you like we used to. So, in the interest of honesty, tell me something you’ve never told me before. It doesn’t have to be big—” she adds hurriedly, when Lena’s eyes widen in alarm. “Something small. Something tiny you’ve never had reason to tell me.”

Lena nods slowly, thinking. “In the interest of honesty…” she starts. “In the interest of honesty, I… I really think that those bangs were a mistake.”

Kara makes a noise of offended disbelief in the back of her throat. “I—Rude!”

“You said to be honest!” Lena says, biting her lip like she’s holding back a laugh. “They’re growing out now, anyways. It looks much better.”

Kara gives her bangs a self-conscious pat. They’re still at a slightly awkward length, but they’re long enough to blend in semi-decently with the rest of her hair now. “If we’re being honest, then,” she says. “I think that blouse is really ugly.”

Lena looks down at herself. She sounds slightly hurt when she says, “What’s wrong with it?”

“Everything! It’s—the pattern! The sleeves! The collar! It looks like it’s made of cheap polyester.”

“It’s designer!” Lena pouts.

“Who designed it?”

“Well, I thought that blazer you wore last week was kind of hideous. I didn’t say anything at the time, but in the interest of honesty…”

Kara laughs, and Lena’s irritated expression melts away at her laughter, something in her eyes softening. It’s an expression Kara’s been seeing on her more often, in moments she catches Lena watching her when she thinks Kara isn’t paying attention.

She’s always paying attention to Lena.

“Maybe we should just agree to say that we both have questionable fashion taste sometimes and call it a day,” she says, downing the rest of her hot chocolate and placing the mug on the table.

Lena takes a dainty sip of her own still mostly filled mug. “Fine.”

There’s a long pause, and Kara taps her fingers on her pant leg and tries to think of a new conversation starter. She finally settles on. “In the interest of honesty… how are you holding up?”

Lena shrugs. “I’m okay, I suppose. I’m anxious about Lex—I know it’s only a matter of time before he’s back on our heels. Mostly, I’m just glad to have you back.” She looks over her mug at Kara. “I think that’s more a question I should be asking you, though.”

The look of intense concern in Lena’s eyes makes her feel hot, and Kara squirms slightly, pulling her collar away from her neck with a finger. She wants to say I’m fine, but honesty is the whole point of this exercise. “I’m… still not great. Being back there it… brought up a lot. Brought back a lot. I’m still having a really hard time with it all. It’s—it’s hard to talk about.”

“We don’t have to talk about it right now.”

“I want to talk about with you at some point. I just… don’t want it to ruin every conversation I have, you know? I want some things to be normal, still. I want to pretend things can be normal.”

“That makes sense,” Lena nods. She looks small when she says, “In the—in the interest of honesty, are you still mad?”

“At you?” Lena nods again, and Kara sighs, looking away. “It’s complicated, I guess. A little, maybe? I meant it when I said I forgave you, but there’s still part of me that’s a little angry. You did a lot of things that were… really bad, Lena.”

“I know.”

“Are you still mad at me?” Kara asks, and Lena’s shaking her head before she even finishes the question.

“No. No, I’m done being mad at you. I get it. I get why you hid your identity, and I wish you’d told me sooner, but I’m not angry anymore. I don’t have enough energy to be angry anymore. I’m happier if I don’t hate you.”

“Well, I’m glad for that.”

“I would have done anything to get you back, you know,” Lena says in a rush, words spilling out like she can’t stop them. “You say I did bad things before, but I would have watched the world burn if it meant I could have brought you back.” She looks down at her lap. “Who knows what I would have done if Alex hadn’t been there to stop me.”

“Lena.” Kara reaches over to take her hand. “You know I can’t possibly be mad at you for that.”

“No?”

“Of course not.”

“Okay,” Lena whispers. Kara watches her swirl around the dregs of her hot chocolate and takes a deep breath.

There’s still one more secret between them. One more secret that has the potential to ruin their friendship. Kara thinks they’re both aware of it, on some level. Aware of the way the weight of it shifts their every interaction. The others are aware of it too, have maybe known longer than Kara has. Alex certainly has. It was she who looked Kara in the eye when they were discussing this whole honestly policy and said, “You have to tell her this. You know you do.”

She can’t risk another secret in their relationship.

“Um, in the interest of honesty,” she starts, and finds she can’t quite meet Lena’s eyes. “I have to tell you—in all honesty, I would probably just keep it a secret, if I could, but I don’t think we should do secrets anymore, so I just need to tell you that I, um, have feelings for you.”

Lena straightens. “Feelings?” she says, her voice cautious.

Kara closes her eyes. Takes a breath. Steadies herself. Opens them again. “I’m in love with you,” she says. “Um, nothing has to change if you don’t want it to, but I need… I need you to know.”

“Oh,” breathes Lena. She opens her mouth, and it seem to take several moments for the words to catch up with her. “Well, in—in the interest of honesty, Kara, I’ve—I’ve been in love with you for years.” She gives a wry little half smile. “If we’re being honest.”

“What? You have?”

“Darling,” says Lena. “I’ve loved you since the day we met.”

“The day we met?”

“Why do you think it hurt me so badly when I found out who you were? Why do you think I was so deep in denial about it that I never figured it out myself? Do you really think you were that good at hiding it?”

“I mean, I thought—”

“The disguise. The hair. The glasses.” She puts down her mug, then reaches over and gently tugs the glasses from Kara’s face, folding the arms in and placing them on the table. She brushes a strand of hair behind Kara’s ear. “You mentioned Supergirl far too much as Kara and Kara far too much as Supergirl and one time you told me you flew to my office on a bus.”

“That’s—yeah, that’s fair, actually.”

“You’re in love with me? Honestly?” whispers Lena.

“I am. I really, truly am. Why do you think I refused to give up on you when everyone else was ready to?”

“I thought that just how you are. You don’t give up on anyone.”

“I try not to. But you, I could never bear to, even when it seemed like the only logical option to everyone else. Why do you think I waited so long to tell you in the first place? I was so scared to ruin things between us.”

“Why do you think I bought you an entire media empire?” Lena murmurs, and she’s so close, hand fisted in the collar of Kara’s shirt.

Kara giggles. “Why do you think I flew all over Europe to get you lunch?”

Lena laughs, and it’s such a relief to hear her laughter again, to let the conversation flow between them. There’s a bud of hope for the future that’s been sitting in Kara’s chest for years now, and under Lena’s adoring gaze, it starts to open.

“In all honesty,” Kara says, “I’d really like to kiss you right now.”

Lena slips a hand into her hair, runs her thumb over Kara’s cheekbone. “In all honesty?” She leans in, pressing their foreheads together. “I’d like that.”

#supergirl #supercorp #supercorp fic #kara danvers #lena luthor #supergirl fanfic #featuring me making fun of the supergirl costume department and also the bangs #and justifying all the sc bullshit i can #and making our girls have an hONEST CONVERSATIOn #is this therapy?#anyways I wrote this as a palate cleanser in between chapters of my WIP so enjoy :D #asks #anon #prompts #bluewritingbench writes #bluewritingbench ficlets

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twinkleimagines · 3 years

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*can we still be friends?*

You and Drew dated throughout high school and even college, but after college Drew decided to move to Atlanta, leaving you behind with a broken heart. Years later you find eachother by accident , and Drew wants to spark things back up.

WARNING : smut, language!

- also, this was not proof read so fair warning 😂

“ OH MY GOD!” You screamed as you looked over your recent email you had just received .

“ what?!” Your roommate yelled from her bedroom in panic. You met her in the hallway from your room, a wide grin on your face as you held your phone against your chest.

“ y/n if you don’t tell me what the hell you’re up here screaming for “ she replied before you turned your phone around facing her .

“ no fucking way “ she beamed in excitement as she read the email.

“ I got the part “ you grinned excitedly. You had been auditioning for acting parts since you had graduated college . You had gotten small one - two line scenes that paid decent but you had yet to get a big role. Today though you had gotten an email from your agent that you had gotten the role for a character on a new Netflix show called ‘ outer banks’ . You had gotten the role to be a pogue. You weren’t a main character but you were going to be definitely known on screen .

“ oh my fucking god!” She screamed out , you both jumping with excitement.

“Wait when do you start? Where are they filming?” She asked .

“ Charleston South Carolina ! It says I’m suppose to be there by tomorrow morning “ you beamed.

“ we’ll what the hell are you doing still standing here ?! Go pack! “ she demanded.

****

“Y/n you ready?” You agent asked from the Uber you were both in.

“ I am so ready” you beamed excitedly.

“ okay we’ll were meeting some of the producers and casts for a chemistry reading “ you looked over at her in confusion.

“ but I already did a chemistry reading “ you replied.

“ yes with the ‘ pogues’ “ she replied. “ your character is going to be having most her interactions with two ‘kooks’ and they just want to test the waters to see how well you guys don’t get along”. You shook your head.

“ oh, whatever “ you shrugged. It didn’t take long to get to the location that you would soon be filming at and you had honestly became overly excited.

“ Hi y/n I’m Jonas, we talked briefly over the phone a few times” Jonas said while shaking your hand.

“ yes I remember , hi!” You replied excitedly .

“ okay so I’m going to have you come into this room and then you and a couple of the other actors are just going to go over your lines , nothing to major” he reassured. You nodded in agreement following behind .

You walked in, almost stopping dead in your tracks as you scanned the room. There were three men, one you knew all too well.

“ this is Austin, Deion , and Drew.” Jonas spoke.

You didn’t hear much of what else Jonas was saying as you and Drew made eye contact, him seeming just as surprised as you. The tension between the two of you could be cut with a knife it was so thick, considering the last time you ever spoke to him ended horribly .

~~~

“ Drew” you said walking out from his bedroom at his moms house .

“ yeah princess “ he replied walking out of his mother’s kitchen towards you.

“ what’s this about Atlanta?” You asked holding up his laptop with a search history for apartments in Atlanta Georgia. He sighed nervously running his hands through his hair.

“ princess I was going to tell you” he replied stepping forward. You quickly stepped back scoffing while shaking your head .

“ tell me what drew?” It was pretty obvious what the answer was but you were angry and wanted to hear it from his own mouth. Drew sat for a second, knowing everything was about to fall apart once he told you his plans.

“ I’m moving to Atlanta “ he responded finally, his eyes lowering to to the ground. Even though you subconsciously knew what he was going to say, once he finally did it really hit you hard.

“ drew” you responded in disappointment. “ you know I have one year left in school I can’t move to Atlanta “ you replied. It was true , Drew was a year older than you . You had gotten together your sophomore year in high school while he was a junior and been together ever since. You even went to the same college as him so you guys would be together . You both were passionate on the same career which made it easier, but the fact that when it was his turn to wait on you he wouldn’t.

“ princess I know , I figured we can do a long distance thing” your eyes widened in shock.

“ Drew you’re going to be a whole state away are you serious?!”you replied, your hands thrown in the air .

“Y/n there’s no opportunities for me here , you know I’ve always wanted to go to the big cities to pursue in acting .” He replied his voice now rising as well.

“ yeah but” you responded, your voice lowering as tears began to form in your eyes. “ you’re leaving me behind” . It hurt so bad that Drew was leaving. Of course you wanted him to prosper in life but you had been doing everything and even putting some job opportunities on hold so you wouldn’t be away from him, but the one time it was his turn, you weren’t his choice .

“ y/n-“

“ no just forget it Drew. Enjoy Atlanta” you responded before leaving towards his room to pack your stuff, soon leaving Drew’s home, never speaking to him again.

~~~

“ Rafe and Callie- go ahead with your scene” Jonas asked as he pointed down to the sheet of paper going over a short scene between the two of your characters .

“ listen Callie you and your dirty pogues need to stay off of figure 8 ok” Drew spoke with hatred, looking up at you waiting for your response .

“ you know what” you replied sitting up in your seat. “ you kooks are all the same . “ you spat out . You could feel anger building among yourself , not because of getting into character, but more because of your true anger towards Drew was beginning to flow out.

“ is that so?” He relied.

“ YES Rafe!” You interrupted. “ you only care about yourself. You’re all selfish and self centered. You always get what you want no matter who gets hurt in the way” Drew sat for a second. He could tell from the look on your face that even though those words were written for Rafe, he knew you meant it directly towards him.

“ the only dirty one here is you Rafe “ you spat out, scolding him from a cross the table . You quickly were snapped out of your trance when you heard clapping from the side of you, Jonas laughing with excitement.

“ man that’s exactly what I’m talking about sweet heart!” He said pointing at you. You chuckled before glancing at Drew , seeing him almost look, upset?

—

It didn’t take you long to find your way to your trailer . All of your excitement about the new gig had gone flying out the window the moment you realized one of the cast members was the same person who shattered your heart years ago.

If we’re being honest , Drew was the reason you had made it to where you were now . Not to give him full credit , but after he chose to pursue in his career and not you, you had decided for yourself you would do nothing but make it to the top and make sure that you never chose anyone over yourself again and was all you had been doing at this point.

You sat staring at yourself in your mirror before you heard a gentle knock against your trailer.

Your stomach did somersaults as you knew exactly who it was. You hesitated for a second before you finally got up from your chair, making your way to the door.

You rolled your eyes as you saw the tall brunette standing behind the door of your trailer . You turned away, letting him in as you went to your couch.

“ Well uhm” he spoke nervously , running his hands through his hair. You looked up at him in anger as you waited for him to respond.

“ I wanted to see you.” He responded making his way over to you. “ it’s been a while” he finished now standing directly above you. You scoffed crossing your arms .

“ you can say that” you mumbled.

“ look I know we left on bad terms-“

“ no Drew you left on bad terms. Let’s clear that up “ you interrupted standing up. Drew took a step back giving you space before nodding, looking down.

“ I understand why you’re upset . But I want you to know I wasn’t leaving you. I was just leaving North Carolina. There were bigger opportunities out there for me and I was going to get them started staying back at home. I just-“ you put your hand in the space between you and him.

“ Drew you left me “ you responded, your voice s bit softer than it was. “ I went to the same school as you so we could be together. I turned down so many opportunities for us. I put my life on hold-“

“ I never asked you to!” Drew responded finally snapping. You sat for a second, shocked at his words . “ and if we’re being honest I would’ve never ask you to” you shook your head in disbelief . Your anger was causing you to be blind to the truth Drew was saying. He was absolutely right but you had never sat back and thought about it.

“ you know what Drew” you spat out, tears beginning to form once again. “ it’s a good thing you’re playing the kook king- yanno since he’s so damn selfish”.

Drew was taken back from your words. You didn’t mean it at all but you were so built up with anger from why a happened years ago that the words just slipped out. Drew nodded his head slowly before making his way out of your trailer without another word said .

You gasped, realizing how harsh you were to him. your hand flew to your mouth as you let out sobs thinking about the words you had just said

You sat silently in your trailer as you thought about the conversation you had just had . You knew Drew was right. He never actually told you to do any of the things you had done, you had just done them because you believed the relationship was more important than your goals in life. And now you realize it was really you who had left Drew. You could’ve worked through long distance, and followed him to Atlanta later but instead you left your selfishness and anger get the best of you.

You realized it was really you who needed to apologize so you quickly gathered your composer before making your way outside, searching for Drew’s trailer. Once you had found it you began frantically knocking , only for no one to answer.

“ y/n?” You heard from behind you. You turned around for it to be Drew. You wanted to do nothing but run and wrap your arms around him but instead you stood still, looking at him with puffy eyes.

“I-I’m sorry “ you blurted out. Drew’s eyes widened before he grabbed your arm .

“C’mon let’s take this somewhere more private” he spoke , guiding you into his trailer before shutting g the door behind you.

“ Drew you were right . I was just so mad I couldn’t even see that it was really me being selfish. And for that I am so sorry. “ Drew sat quietly , listening to go on and on about how sorry you were even though he had forgave you before he had even dry your own trailer.

“ y/n” he responded interrupting you during your rant . “ y/n just hush for a second” he responded with a slight chuckle . You nodded, wiping your face.

“ y/n I was wrong for not communicating with you. I should’ve chased you and brought you with, and if long distance wouldn’t have worked - I should’ve stayed behind and waited until you finished school” he responded grabbing a hold of your hand. You should your head in disagreement.

“ no, because you wouldn’t be here” you responded .

“ well regardless- I have missed you so damn much” he relied before pulling you towards him, placing his lips against yours. It was weird but such a familiar feeling that you hadn’t even realized how much you had missed it as well.

After both pulled away from the kiss, Drew looked down at you, grinning.

“ what “ you scoffed with a smirk following .

“ I can’t believe we’re about to play enemies on this show “ he spoke out causing you both to laugh loudly.

*****

It had been over a month since you and Drew reconnected. Things had definitely began to look up for the both of you. You had made many friends amongst the cast and even though you and Drew weren’t dating, feelings were definitely sparking between the two.

“ what are you up to tonight?” Drew asked as you both sat in the field , watching the cast film a scene.

“ I was honestly going to just stay in my apartment and watch tv tonight. You?” You responded, leaned back against the grass propped up on your hands.

“ oh” he replied, looking back out into the field.

“ I am making mom‘s chicken casserole so I was going to see if maybe they wanted to come over and have some?” He asked. You grinned. His mother’s chicken casserole was one of your favorite dinners she had ever made and Drew knew that. You nodded with a grin plastered across your face causing Drew too smile as well. You could almost say his cheeks were turning red.

***

You sighed heavily as you looked over your outfit in your mirror in your bathroom. You wanted to look cute, but casual so you dressed in jeans and a loose pink tank, a few pieces of jewelry and tennis shoes.

It was obvious that you were beyond nervous to see him because despite being around Drew, this was the first time you both were going to spend one on one quality time together without somebody else including themselves in. just being able to be around him though and spending time with him even if it included others, you had regrown the feelings you once had for Drew over time, but you weren’t sure at this point if the feelings were mutual. Drew had changed and matured so much over the few years you had been away , and of course you had too so things were the same , but very different.

“ hey” Drew said with a smile as he opened the door, seeing you stand on the other side.

“ hey” you grinned slyly before walking in.

“ mmmm” you moaned out, smelling the food in the oven. “ boy does that bring back memories .” Drew chuckled before scratching the back of his head nervously .

“ yeah I was thinking the same” he replied before making his way into the kitchen, opening the oven to check on it.

You looked around his apartment. It was crazy to see that his style in furniture and agriculture was still the same as it was when he was younger.

It almost made you sad that you had missed out on Drew’s growth since college. You quickly shook the sadness feeling away before making your way next to him , watching contently as he took the pan out of the oven.

“ oooohh yum” you beamed excitedly placing your hands together in front of you.

“ want to grab the plates?” He asked as he grabbed a spatula to help break the chicken up. You nodded before making your way to his cabinet, grabbing two plates out. It was quiet as you both fixed your plates, making your way to his couch. Since the producers only provided studio sized apartments for the time you were there , there wasn’t much space for tables so it was either the couch or standing.

“ Drew, I know I haven’t said this yet, but I am so proud of you” you finally spoke, breaking the silence. He looked over at you , a grin forming against his face as he chewed through his bite.

“ I’m serious “ you responded , not taking your eyes off of Drew. “ imagine if I really held you back like I tried . You wouldn’t be where you’re at now.“ you said. It was almost like you were saying it to yourself . You were finally realizing that it was you in the wrong in the long run. To even ask Drew to stay behind and not follow his dreams was just selfish .

“Y/n stop beating yourself over this okay? We’ve both made decisions in the past that we regret but look at us now” he responded. He didn’t need to go into detail but he was right . It became silent once again, just the sound of his tv going in the background ( that neither of you were actually paying attention to) .

“ this honestly tastes just like your moms” you laughed out in shock.

“ yanno why do you sound so surprised?” He jokingly argued, his head cocked towards you.

“ because Drew” you laughed out thinking of the memory you were about to speak of. “ you couldn’t even cook your hot pocket in the microwave without burning it” you both laughed as you thought about Drew’s multiple attempts to cooking that never worked out. When the laughing between you two died down, Drew stared intently into your eyes before he leaned in, placing his lips against yours. Your body immediately pushed forward towards his, pressing into the kiss.

Your eyes widened once you realized what was happening before pulling away, placing your hands over your mouth.

“ Drew” you spoke out softly. You were so unsure on whether this was really what he wanted that you didn’t want him to do something he’d regret.

“ y/n it’s okay” he reassured gently, before placing his hands against the side of your face, placing his lips against yours once again. This time you caved in, your hands finding their way to the back of his head, your fingers intwining through his hair.

You moaned slightly as his hands pressed firmly against your hips, pulling you up onto his lap. You began moving your hips against his, pressing your crotch against his for friction. Drew’s long fingers pressed against your bottom as he pushed you forward against him, deep throaty groans following behind.

“ lay down on the couch “ he demanded , his voice low and deep. You and Drew had slept together of course when you were younger , but something seemed different this time, more dominant was more like it. You bit your bottom lips as you removed yourself from Drew, quickly pushing your jeans down and off of you before laying down across the couch as Drew had instructed, your head landed on the arm rest.

Drew hovered over you, placing sloppy kisses down your neck, trailing down to your breast. You watched intensely as he pulled your breast out from above your shirt , groping them in his large hands. You hissed slightly as he pinched around your exposed nipple before placing your right nipple in his mouth.

You closed your eyes in pure bliss, your bottom lip pressed in between your teeth.

Your eyes reopened when you felt his fingers tuck under your underwear, before tugging them down , tossing them next to where your pants laid. Your eyes furrowed together . In all the years you had been together, Drew had never given you head . He was just too insecure that he wouldn’t do it good so seeing him down there , his lips trailing up your thigh to your heated core was beyond shocking.

You gasped loudly as he finally placed his mouth where you wanted him, his tongue doing one long stroke against your slit before lightly sucking on your clit.

“ Drew” you moaned out . You were tempted to ask where he learned this from but you knew that wouldn’t be an appropriate question nor would you really want to hear the answer.

At this point Drew was doing wonders on your heated area, so much that you couldn’t even hold the moans in. The way his tongue and finger both simultaneously worked against you had you coming to your orgasm quicker than anything.

“ fuck Drew!” you moaned out as you bucked your hips up against his face as you felt that familiar tingle feeling. Before you could even finish your climax, Drew’s lips clashed against yours, your own taste filling your mouth as his tongue fought for dominance over yours. Drew reached in between the two of you , , pulling his rock hard member out before before quickly sliding into your already soaking wet core.

Your arms looped under his as your hands landed on his back, your nails immediately began to dig as his hips moved at a fast pace against yours . Your body rocked against his couch as he pounded in you over and over, his member filling you more than you had ever remembered. He placed his lips against yours again as you let uncontrollable moans.

Drew placed one hand against the arm of the couch, his bicep flexing over your head as he continued to grind himself into you at continuous beat.

“ god I’m getting close” he groaned out , his words barely audible as he became out of breath from moving so fast .

You quickly wrapped your legs around him, causing him to go in even deeper than before . He threw his head back in pleasure , the veins in his neck popping out as his thrusts became sloppy. You pressed your lips deep against his as you felt yourself cum around him as well as his movements began to slow down, eventually becoming to a haunt.

Drew sat for a second, his forehead placed against yours as he caught his breath before he sat back up off of you, helping you sit up.

It was quiet as you both cleaned yourself before you sat back down on the couch next to him, still slightly worn out.

“ damn Drew “ you laughed out, running your now tangled hair towards the back of your head . “ you fucked the shit out of me “ you stated, causing him to chuckle.

“ like I said , I really missed you over those years” he said with a cocky smirk following . You shook your head while grinning, turning your eyes away from him.

“ do you maybe want to stay the night?” He asked , this time with seriousness. You looked over at him, a smile present on your face .

“ yeah I’d like that” you responded.

Maybe what they say is true.

If it’s meant to be, it’ll find its way back. ❤️

*****

I almost deleted this whole thing because Idk just didn’t really like it but I know I’ve been incognito for almost a week so I figured I’d post it anyways. Another fic called ‘Keep your hands to yourself ‘will be posted tonight though so anyone want to be tagged let me know ❤️

@maybanks-smile @tremendousalpacawitch @multifanofkpopgroups @lilyrosemelodydeppp

@Littlementalpolariods

@mrs-cameron

@bigdrewenergy @imjustanothernerd

#drew starkey #obx #smut #drew starkey fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron imagine #drew starkey imagine #obx fiction #drew starkey dirty imagine #drew starkey smut #obx smut #obx dirty imagine

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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

#bnha 323 #uraraka ochako #rat principal #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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