Okay so we're at 623/1025 Pokemon done right now that's 60.78%, and did you know that each 1 (one) new unique crochet brings us .09% (NOT EVEN A /TENTH/ OF A PERCENT) closer to 100%. That's 402 more Pokemon to go (currently) (not including ones that have different variants/forms). That's so many. Whoa. Wow.

Week Five - Staying Alive

Now this may come as a shock... but this week has actually been a good week (and I mean an actual week, not a crackhead week where there was 2 days of sleep and the rest of the days mould into one).

Health

This week has seen some small progress, I hit the 121kg mark and consistently produced a caloric deficit every day. I had to take some 'progress pictures and although I titties are saggin lower than my grandmothers (Im guessing, i totes dont know what they are like I dont live in Tasmania) under the right light, with the right filters it almost looks like I've become The Rock. Almost.

Finances

Slowly lowering the consumer debt like a single teenage mum in Whyalla lowering her standards looking for the next father for her bundle of joy.

Mental Health

This week I took a giant leap and had an initial appointment with Psychologist that is hopefully going to help me sort my shit out (big ask I know, but gotta start somewhere). I went into it like a fatty walking through the fruit and veg section at Coles (i haven't quite reached that milestone, baby steps). Unsure of what to expect but mindlessly optimistic that it was going to fix all my problems. I found it extremely hard to switch off and remain partial often finding myself telling the Psych what she wanted to hear (I haven't done that since my last relationship ;)). Because through my qualification I know all of the strategies that a Psych uses I find it incredibly hard to become vulnerable enough to allow them have control (yet if your a girl with mental health issues wearing a red flag as a cape. You can have all the control you want). I am going to stick at this because it is something that need to do but it certainly isn't going to be easy.

Honorable mentions

Now I'm by no means a dodgy individual (depending on who you ask, don't ask the child support agency), but I do know this if you are going to break into a business and steal their chequebook Its probably NOT a good idea to write yourself or your friends a cheque from said chequebook because you may find yourself locked up from it...

Marriage... an interesting concept that causes many areas of debate. As humans do we really need to prove we love someone by spending thousands of dollars on a giant party that most people attend for an open bar? I respect all of the people in my life that are married and I am always very thankful when I get invited to weddings but it just fascinates me that something that was so heavily embroiled as a religious act is now something that can be done in a matter of 45 minutes at the local BDM registry!

I had the absolute pleasure of being a witness for one of my best friends recently who got married. A total of 5 people were in attendance including the celebrant and it was one of the most incredible intimate experiences I have ever had the pleasure of being apart off (except of cause watching SBS at 10pm on a Friday night). Friendships will often drift apart as we all get older and have different priorities it becomes increasingly difficult to find time to maintain Friendships. That was the case with me and the aforementioned friend, but with one small gesture its incredible how it can all be bought into perspective that it doesn't matter how often you see a person and true friendship will always produce magical moments that even though are sparing will remain with you for a life time (plus i have to say I looked goooooooood as the maid of honor).

Now ladies, one final point on the concept of marriage... Im sorry to break it to y'all that no woman is ever going to tie this big dawg down (heart breaking I know because what woman doesn't want a man with past gambling habits, shit teeth and a mouth that runs faster than Usain Bolt). I have to many pokemon cards at risk than to have to give half of them away when you get sick of my shit. No deal Eddie.

Next week Ill be coming at ya from Melbourne where Ill be spending time with Rick and Podge and most likely will be lit so apologies in advance for the next instalment of this thrilling blog!

Peace!

TJ’s Playlist (Final Ep Anniversary Bonus)

So it's been a year since I cried to the finale because tyrus was canon, and I wanted to travel back in time to some of the happiest memories I had because of this show. I had a thing in Macaroni's POV, but it was a little lame and didn't want to finish it so I went this route instead. It's also always bothered me that this story ended on 19 chapters, and I thought this was the perfect chance to even it out with a perfect 20. If you're reading this, I love you very much and thank you for coming back (or getting here for the first time). Goodbye to TJ's Playlist for real now <3 

Ao3 Link | Wattpad Link

-

TJ ran down the hall, pushing by students who couldn’t get out of his way fast enough. It was the last day of middle school, and everyone was lingering behind to say goodbye to their friends who might go to a different high school. TJ had been doing the same before remembering he had promised Cyrus he would meet him up front.

Cyrus was standing with Buffy and Marty, laughing at something one of them said when TJ caught up. “Hi,” TJ told him, bending over to catch his breath. “Sorry I’m late. I forgot how fast time can go.”

“It’s fine.” Cyrus smiled. “I wasn’t going to leave without you.” Cyrus reached over to hold TJ’s hand, making him smile.

Buffy said to Cyrus with a grin, “So yard sale?” Cyrus’s neighborhood had a large yard sale once a year, and they chose the last day of school to do it. Cyrus’ parents invited all of them to take their things to sell.

“Yes! Come by with anything you want to get rid of,” Cyrus replied. “I’m so excited. It feels like a cleanse and the first step into high school.”

“Can’t wait,” Buffy said. “I’m going to stop by home first for my stuff, pick up Andi, and meet you guys there.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Cyrus said and gave her a thumbs up. They said bye to Marty and Buffy who walked off holding hands, leaving TJ with his boyfriend. Cyrus turned to look at him and asked, “So. Did you think about it?”

TJ bit at the inside of his cheek for a moment. “I did.”

“And?”

“I think I’m going to sell them.”

Cyrus jumped up. “Yes? Really?”

“Just the repeats!” TJ smiled, taking a step back to avoid getting stepped on.

“Yes, that’s amazing. That’s perfect. The people in the neighborhood are going to love you,” Cyrus said. “We’ll look up the value of every single one before we set them out.”

“Already did that. That’s actually the reason why I decided to sell them.”

“Are they worth a lot?”

“Not as much as the cameras would be, but it’s a decent amount of money to pay for basketball camp.” TJ and Cyrus started walking away from their now former middle school, not looking back.

“How long would you be gone for?” Cyrus asked him.

“Three weeks. We can handle that, right?” TJ asked him, squeezing his hand. The coach at Grant High School recommended he go to basketball camp to secure a spot on the varsity team the next year, but it was a little pricey even with both of his parents working at the time.

“Of course.” Cyrus squeezed his hands back, smiling at him. “Let’s go get your things.” After going through his GG’s stuff for the first time, TJ realized there was a lot of valuable items that included comic books and vinyls. He was letting go of all the comic books because he wasn’t interested in that, but he didn’t have the desire to let go of any music. There was more vinyl’s in the attic than he realized and even though he didn’t have a player, he wanted them for the day he did have one.

Cyrus was talking to TJ about his last day of dance and how he wasn’t looking forward to regular PE at all as they headed to the Kippen’s house. “I need to have PE with Buffy at all costs next year. If not, I’ll definitely get picked last for every team.”

“You’re already stressed out for PE next year?” TJ snickered. He knew Cyrus well enough at this point to know his fear of public humiliation in PE was insurmountable “You need to relax a little. It’s summer break.”

“I know, but I tend to plan every minute of my future and PE is an inevitable part of it.”

“Let’s make a deal. You put off thinking about PE until a month before school, and I’ll let you be there when I get my report card in the mail.” TJ liked to open his report card alone considering he has done really bad in math in the past, but Cyrus really wanted to see how much TJ had improved now that he had a proper tutor.

Cyrus hummed to himself before saying, “Deal. But only because I can’t wait to see the look on your face when you see how well you did.”

“My C average does bring out my best smile.”

“All of your smiles are your best smiles.”

“You literally told me my dancing to old music is my best smile.”

“It’s a little biased because you dance with me.”

“It does make me smile when you slow dance with me,” TJ admitted to him. Cyrus smiled, blushing at the comment and making TJ’s heart skip a beat. There hadn’t been a single day where TJ doubted his feelings for him.

-

They got to the Kippen’s empty house, Macaroni the cat waiting in the yard. He was jumping after a grasshopper before he saw Cyrus and TJ come up. He ran to Cyrus and meowed, making him grin. “Hello, friend,” Cyrus said as he bent over to pick him up.

“Needy,” TJ muttered to Macaroni as he roughly petted his ears. Macaroni swatted at TJ who pulled his hand away on time.

Cyrus held Macaroni closer and said, “You have to be gentle with him. He’s old.”

“He’s okay,” TJ said, sticking his tongue out at the cat. He went to go unlock the door while Cyrus asked Macaroni about his day. The cat simply purred in his arms.

Inside, Cyrus put him down and followed TJ without asking upstairs to his room, little footprints tapping against the wood floors. Cyrus felt like the Kippen’s gothic house was his second home. It was Halloween themed according to his parents, but he liked the charm it gave off. TJ’s parents were younger than his after all and when the air was clear, it was fun to be there.

TJ had two boxes on the floor ready to go. “Can you take the vinyl one? It’s lighter,” TJ asked Cyrus as he picked up a box.

“For sure,” Cyrus said. He got the box and looked around the room that seemed to be more crowded as TJ dug out things from the attic. It made Cyrus smile every time TJ called him with a new discovery. A new photo album from the 70s. More polaroid photos he took of TJ and Amber when they were little. A random trinket TJ thought was cool. One time he didn’t find anything of his GG’s. He found a bunch of new t-shirts from his dad’s old band and a few CD’s TJ couldn’t stop laughing at for an hour. His dad was in makeup that really did make him look like a vampire.

Cyrus said goodbye to Macaroni who rubbed against his leg before walking out with TJ and walking down to his house. Around the block, people already had their yard sales open and people from all over Shadyside were visiting there. Even though TJ lived so close to him, his neighborhood seemed to be a completely different world from his. TJ didn’t know his next door neighbors, and he had just found out a month ago that Marty had lived across the street from him practically his entire life.

They got to Cyrus’ house where his parents had set out tables. Cyrus’ old toys and clothes were out and ready to go to new homes. He gave up most of his children’s books, but he kept a few favorites just in case he ever had kids to read them to one day. “You’re selling all your Pokemon cards?” TJ asked him as he set his box on an empty table.

“There will be someone who appreciates them more.” Cyrus then added, “They’re also fake.”

“Dollar store packets?” TJ smiled knowingly.

“Yes!” Cyrus laughed. “I always wondered why the ones at Kmart were more expensive and now I know why.”

“They were still fun to play with, though.”

“I honestly never learned how to play with them,” Cyrus admitted. “I just liked looking at them.”

“That’s me with my vinyl records right now,” TJ said. “I opened every single one of them because some had notes and receipts from GG. Some silly stuff like saying to pick up my grandma from school or just lists of other singers.” Cyrus stared at TJ as he set out the records, wondering if now was the time to give him what he just bought him. He wanted to hold out for his birthday but watching TJ talk about the vinyl’s made him realize how much listening to that music meant to him.

“There’s actually something I want to give you,” Cyrus said.

“Now?” TJ raised an eyebrow.

“Think of it as the first part of your birthday present.”

“First part? Of my birthday present? My birthday that’s in July?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes,” Cyrus nodded. “So, do you want it or not?”

“Can it be the only gift you give me?” TJ asked him.

“Of course not. The other thing is on its way already.”

“Oh god, Cyrus. You really didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Says the guy that gave me a present everyday of the week leading up to my birthday.” TJ smiled, Cyrus knowing that he finally got him to give in.

“Fine. Surprise me.”

Cyrus took TJ’s hand. “Come on! I can’t wait for you to see it.” Cyrus led TJ inside his house where they walked past his parents, TJ barely able to say a full hello to them. They went into his room where Cyrus let go of his hand and dug through his t-shirt drawer where he pulled out a wrapped present.

“You already wrapped it?” TJ asked, smiling as Cyrus handed him the box.

“Had to be ready just in case you ever found it.”

“You’re the one that snoops through my things, not me,” TJ reminded him.

“Just open in,” Cyrus said impatiently. TJ put the present on the bed and started ripping the wrapper. With a single tear down the middle, TJ knew what it was and gasped.

“Cyrus,” he whispered. “You really shouldn’t have.”

“I wanted to. Really badly.” TJ finished unwrapping the green record player and held out the box in his hands, staring at it in awe. “Now you can listen to everything your GG left you.”

“Yeah,” TJ said with a smile. “I really can.” He put the box down and went over to face Cyrus. “Thank you so much.” TJ bent down and kissed him, both smiling into the kiss.

“You are very welcome.”

TJ held onto Cyrus’ hand and told him, “Let’s go play some music.”

My ideas of a modern avatar au.

( I've seen others headcanons of the gaang in more modern times so I wanted to share mine!)

(Some small notes on the gaang)

Aang:

Lived in an orphanage for a long time until meeting katara and sokka

Likes aesthetics ranging from cottagecore to frog core.

Loves puppets (in the style of the muppets of course) and made one that resembles Momo.

Absolutely LOVES Nintendo games, with pokemon and animal crossing being his favorites.

Vegan, but doesn't force it on others, he just reminds his friends that he is a vegan when going out to eat or when they have the occasional sleepover.

Goofball. Katara constantly has to watch him and sokka so they dont get into trouble, since together they share one braincell and katara has it.

Katara

Because of her caring nature, I could see her wanting to be some kind of doctor.

Makes sure that no one gets into trouble.

If she didnt wasnt apart of an argument, either her or aang will stop arguments.

Acts like a mom, despite her age. (And has probably done the classic "mom arm" at some point.

Sokka

The best way to describe his intelligence: Has been a straight A student throughout his entire life, but has also has done things like microwaving raw eggs because he thought it would hard boil them. (He found out it didn't)

Laughs at stupid memes and probably has either the best or worst sense of humor.

Plays soccer and is a part time coach.

Eats a lot and will eat random things at random times (zuko once caught him eating a bowl of cereal at 3 am and was like "wtf, dude?")

Like aang, he likes to play video games, but plays games like doom or super smash brothers.

Used to be sexist and kinda tight minded, but now he regularly chugs his "respect women and men juice"every day.

Will pull either really good or childish pranks on everyone. Ranging from that time attacked katara with a nerf gun, to that time he wrapped everything in zuko's room with Christmas wrapping paper (beware of him on April fools day)

Toph

Doesnt really spend money on herself, rather, she spends it on her friends. Most of the time its things that her friends cant really afford but they want, things like a Nintendo switch for aang, or tickets to a baseball game so sokka could take himself, suki, and zuko. But shes also used her wealth to personally help her friends, like helping them pay off tuition and student loans while in college, to personal things like buying an absolutely beautiful headstone for katara's mother, or personally paying for zuko's therapy sessions after he ran away from his abusive home life.

Even in the modern world, toph can still kick your ass with very little effort.

Wears baggy clothes often.

Wants to be a professional wrestler.

Appa was originally her seeing eye dog, but he wasnt really good at it, and she could already used her seismic sense to see, so she ended up giving him to aang

Zuko

Came from a really abusive and toxic home and still has trauma about his scar, but he never told anyone how he got it, except for his therapist.

Has major depression and anxiety. Sometimes he has an endless amount of energy, and sometimes feels like doing nothing all day and lies in bed. Iroh has tried his best to help his nephew, and is proud that zuko eventually realized he needs help.

Did some pretty bad things as a teenager. Ended up serving a stint in juvenile hall.

Had some really unhealthy coping mechanisms. Ranging from shoplifting to setting things on fire.

He started opening up more after befriending the gaang and even discovered more things about himself that he never really focused on.

He is a huge dork/nerd. Dont let that glare fool you.

Loves theater and will talk to suki for hours about their favorite musicals.

Is actually a really good cook. Aang, katara and sokka opened him up to showing this talent that nobody thought he would have.

Lived with his uncle iroh for a while until he had enough money to live in an apartment.

Goth boy. Absolutely loves going to concerts (especially grunge or metal)

Secretly craves the sweet release of death.

Has a thing for idiots.

Suki

Football player

Once absolutely destroyed sokka in a wrestling match and katara couldn't stop being smug about it for weeks

Was the catalyst for sokka realizing that sexism is worthless.

Yue

Sokka's ex.

Died from a terminal illness in her teens

Sokka occasionally visits her grave and leaves flowers on it.

Azula

Power hungry and really insecure.

Capable of really terrible things

Eventually gets admitted to a psych ward.

Ty lee

Bubbly cheerleader

Loves drama and people-watching

Kind of an airhead at times.

Loves to show off.

Mai

Goth girl.

Loves cryptids and witchcraft. Has a lot of merchandise relating to both

Deadpan in just about every kind of social interaction.

Very blunt. Is not afraid to call people out.

Will detect bullshit.

Works with zuko.

Ran away from her family in her teens, but is still financially supported by her parents.

(Now for the adults)

Hakoda

Hard working single dad.

Loves and supports his kids equally.

Basically a father figure to both aang and zuko.

Loves taking everyone on trips.

Will tell sokka to stop messing with his sister.

Police chief.

A good dad.

Ozai:

Owns a very valuable business company worth billions of dollars.

Secretly a cult leader.

Wins the worst father/husband of the year award.

Iroh

One of the few people who ran away from ozais cult and lived to tell the tale.

Hopes his nephew will get his life on track.

War veteran.

Has a great inheritance that he got from his father, but he uses it for three things. 1. To expand or pay off debts for the jasmine dragon. 2. Donating it to non for profit charities. 3. Helping his nephew get through life.

Some general stuff about places and events)

The jasmine dragon isnt just a teashop, its also a bistro/bakery. It's just more famous for its tea.

Ozai's cult is the reason why katara and sokka's mother is dead. Her murder has remained unsolved for years and hakoda has dedicated a good portion of his life to solving his wife's murder.

Survey #326

“life by life  /  waste to waste  /  i'm the harbinger: the master of decay”

When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Do you mean like, for the wedding? Probably the venue. Or possibly the photographer. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. What’s something you complain about frequently? My legs. Are you afraid of falling in love? Very. Are you close to any of your aunts/uncles? Not very. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? Very much so. Do you own anything that is special edition? Yeah, things like DVDs. Do you have any funky bookmarks? I have this one meerkat bookmark where the image moves when you tilt it. Did you ever watch Pokemon? Hell yeah I did. Are there more females or males in your family? Females. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? My mom does due to having gerd. Dad did too when I actually lived with him. I wouldn't know nowadays. Do you own a camera tripod? Yes. Did you ever believe in mermaids? No. Have you ever purchased alcohol? Yes. Any essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Similar interests, like being a metal fan and gamer especially, as well as a serious animal lover for sure. Any romantic gestures you really like? Okay if someone did that little bow thing while reaching out for my hand to dance, I'd melt, lol. I also appreciate love interests holding open doors, SHOWING INTEREST IN HOW I FCKN FEEL, asking permission before doing anything in sexual exploration, stuff like that. Any sexual fantasies? Are you daring enough to share one? Yep, not sharing those lmfao. Have you ever been in love? Twice. What is your favorite/least favorite word? My favorite is "serendipity/serendipitous," and my least favorite is "retarded." Have you ever been skinny dipping? No. If I actually had a body I was confident in, I probably would in privacy tho at night lmao. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Oh yeah. What is your favorite thing to do? Probably RPing with my favorite OCs when I'm in a really creative mood and during a great scene. Did you go to your senior prom? Yeah, I did. Prom's honestly pretty damn overrated, but I did it and his senior prom anyway. It's the picking out a beautiful dress and taking pictures that I loved. What did you do after graduation? I don't remember. We probably went out to eat or something. Favorite home cooked meal growing up? Spaghetti. What item most embarrasses you to purchase? Nothing, really. Do you give cards to people for holidays or events? No. Name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents. Uhhhhh idk. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I hate the texture of whipped cream. Do you ever eat peanut butter straight from the jar? Sometimes if I want a snack but am trying to be healthy-ish, I'll eat just a scoop. What was the last pill you took for? Pain. Do you prefer your clothes loose or close fitting? Loose, 100%. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Meerkats grooming. I did it in high school on a large piece of burlap. Are there any songs that remind you of your mother? "Take It Like a Woman" by Alice Cooper, for one. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? Very smart, sweet, friendly, and nice. Game you were best at in PE/gym? Pf, none. Obsession from childhood? Dinosaurs and Pokemon. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's talk about deep stuff regarding the world or about how awesome animals are. Top 5 favorite Vines? Oh boy. There are just way too many. I'll try to name a few: 1.) the "I can't find my berries" saga guy; 2.) *in drive-thru, asked what he would like to order* "I wanna FUCKIN DIE"; 2.) "i cOUldA DROPpeD my CroISSAnt"; 3.) "it's Wednesday, m'dudes"; 4.) "a d a m"; 5.) "I WON'T HESITATE, BITCH." God, I miss Vine. What is the first meme you remember seeing? Holy cow, I have no idea. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite tradition? Dressing up for Halloween, even though I don't do it anymore... Talent you’re proud of having? Writing. Favorite website from your childhood? Webkinz was unbeatable. I was obsessed. Any good luck charms? I don't believe in those. Favorite potato food? French fries. Tell me the color of your eyes, without using the name of a color: Uhhhh a cloudy sky right before rain? Ever been through a goth phase? Goth is my fucking AESTHETIC. I wish I could afford a truly gothic wardrobe, because you bet your sweet ass it's all I'd wear out. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I think so? It was a Blueberry, I believe. Who is your favourite character from Alice in Wonderland? Obviously the Cheshire cat. What is your favorite type of YouTube video to watch? Lately, it's been tarantula and snake channels/pet YouTubers. I still think my overall favorites are let's plays, but right now it's just stepping back a bit. What’s the next project you are excited to start? I have this pretty cool drawing I wanna do of a morbid meerkat doing a big toothy smile, doing a peace sign (but his fingers are syringes) with a crown blinking over his head. Inspired by the "Professional Griefers" lyric of "lab rat king." I just really wanna make it perfect and am procrastinating in fear of failing... Have you ever experienced a miracle? I don't think I believe in miracles. What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Alessandra, Justine, and Chloe, to name a few. Which did you like better: high school or college? High school, at least in most ways. What is the theme of your bedroom? It doesn't have a theme. My interests just kinda threw up everywhere, haha. Have you ever lived in a dorm? No. Were you raised religious? Yes. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? I don't have to do taxes yet. What was the very first thing you ever saved up to buy with your own money? Venus was the first big thing, I think. Describe your favorite Christmas ornament: I don't know what that would be, honestly. We have so very many. What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? Dad's always been a mailman, and he also had a second job as a carpenter for a while. Mom worked with special needs children at my elementary school as a teacher assistant. She also worked at the hospital at one point, doing some computer work. I don't remember her actual position. Are you taller than your mom? We're the same height. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Sure, that's not a big deal to me. Last reason you went to the ER? For myself, a suicide attempt/overdose. What was the last word document you typed? This survey, actually, so I could save progress as I combine them. What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? Global warming. Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? An apple. I wanted apple slices with peanut butter. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? Holy SHIT that is impossible. Maybe the devil cakes, but I really don't know. I love most of them. Do you/your family buy loaf from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? Bagged. White, wheat or other? Mom buys white bread, but my favorite is pumpernickel. What was the last non-fiction book you’ve read? (Not a school textbook!): I ain't got a clue. I don't really read non-fiction. What color are your headphones/earbuds? These are blue. Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public? Yep. Thankfully, I don't snore. Do you feel guilty about killing bugs? Yep. How do you feel about coconut? Not a fan. ^ Ever cracked one open? Ha, I've always wanted to. Who did you last worry about and why? My mom. She's getting a CT scan ASAP due to chronic headaches and stomach pain, so I'm worried her cancer might be re-emerging. When was the last time you ate/drank something gross just to be polite? I don't know; I struggle to do this. If I don't like something, my face shows it. I can't help it. When did you last make up a baby’s bottle? Never. Do you have any framed black & white photos in your home? Who are they of? No. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? N/A If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you chose? I don't know. Real talk, I find most luxury brands to sell pretty ugly stuff... Do you like candy canes? Yeah. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yes; one is my landlord. What color was the dress you wore to your senior prom? It was black. Ever go to another school’s prom? No. Do you like burning candles or incense? I love incense. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do in there? When I used to live in the woods, I did every now and then to take pictures. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? Single, but that would be so romantic. /swoons How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was this emo/metalhead/goth creature. What is the best present you have ever received? My dog Teddy. <3 What is the best present you have ever given? I put the most effort into a scrapbook thing of well over a hundred reasons I loved my then-boyfriend Jason. Even though we're done, I honestly hope he still has it, just to remember. What is the best surprise you have ever had? Sara's parents paying for a flight up there to be with Sara for her birthday. Have you ever been robbed? No, thankfully. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Ever sleep with someone on the first date? Definitely a nope. Ever give someone a wrong phone number on purpose? No. What’s the strangest thing you have ever witnessed firsthand? I have no idea. It's... very morbid, but possibly dogs twitching after being euthanized. Seeing Teddy do it was such a strange, painful experience. Like there was still life in there... even though I know it was just his nerves doing their final hoorah and he was already dead. Ever seen a psychiatric ward? I've been in a mental hospital five or six times, so I'm uncomfortably familiar with them. What is the last thing you did that you didn’t want to do? Group therapy. I'm really burning out on it. Thankfully, I don't have it on the weekends. What is the last thing you convinced someone else to do? I dunno. If you could live in a different time, would you? When? Nah. Do you prefer to sleep alone or with someone else? Sleeping alone is more comfortably physically, but I usually prefer sleeping with a partner because there's this amazing feeling of safety, love, and companionship. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Do you prefer cold air and blankets, or warm air and no blankets? Cold air and blankets by ten miles. I can't sleep if I'm even remotely hot. How often do you dust? Sigh, not as much as I need to. What is the most "extreme" activity you have ever done? I haven't done very much that fits that description... so idk. Dr. Pepper or root beer? Dr. Pepper. I hate root beer. Last room you cleaned? Mine. Last thing you did that made you feel like an adult? Checked into the doctor's office by myself, haha... Talk about sad. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? It's not my business to actually share those pictures, but I can describe them. I fucking ADORE this candid photograph I took of my mom laughing; I will forever cherish it. It's morbid to think about, but it's absolutely a picture I'll frame of her once she's passed away. I don't have many pictures of Dad, but I do really like this picture we took together at Red Lobster once. Are you subscribed to anything (Magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? Mom pays an Adobe Creative Cloud photography bundle subscription for me, but that's it. Last TV show series you finished? Fullmetal Alchemist with Sara. It was a rewatch for me, but she'd never seen it. What’s something exciting that’s happened to one of your friends recently? A childhood friend got engaged a few days back. Do you have any board games? If so, where do you keep them? We have a few somewhere. What were the last things you glued together? I don’t recall. What are your friends’ pets’ names? I'll just use Sara here since she's my best friend. She has two family dogs, Buster and Beesly, a cat named Winter, four ball pythons named Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, and Jane Marie, and Doris, a bearded dragon that I personally adore most. :') What all did you do today? I played World of Warcraft early this morning, but not for very long. I've been in a phase of being very uninterested in it lately. I've mostly just done surveys... lots of surveys. I'm just in the mood to. I've also been listening to music and watching John Wolfe play Amnesia: Rebirth periodically. If you live in a house, how many floors does it have? If you live in an apartment building, how many units does it have? It's just one floor. Would you like to live in a world with mythical creatures, even if they turned out to be evil or dangerous? Honestly... I probably would, haha. Are you scared of heights? Yes. When was the last time you lost something of great sentimental value? Did you ever end up finding it again? Never, I think and hope. What food do you find to be the most filling? Is this something you eat a lot of? Eggs or oatmeal. Not really. What do you think of people who purposefully train their dogs to fight or to be aggressive? They're fucking garbage human beings. If you suffer/have suffered with acne, do you squeeze your spots or do your best to just leave them be? Ugh, I was so bad (and still am if something pops up) about picking at it. Does your father have any hobbies? What are they? Sure. He loves sports, fishing, idk if he still plays video games, fantasy football... and I can't forget playing with his grandkids. It's hard for me to know all of them when I don't live with him and see him rarely. What did the last face mask you wore look like? It was just a white cotton one. Is there a specific song that you always request at parties? What is it? I don't go to parties. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write it. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? I've had infected piercings as well as a badly infected pilonidal cyst. Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Are you popular on any websites? No. What was the last song you listened to? Aaaaand now I'm hooked on "NIHIL" by 3TEETH. Are you currently texting anyone right now? No. When was the last time you played jump rope? Yikes, probably not since I was a kid. I used to love it. Who was the last person you offended? I dunno. What’s the earliest you’ve ever had to wake up for work? Not early. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? I know trans people who have, yes. Do you know anyone who has been on life support and survived? No. At least, I don't believe so. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? They're divorced, and Mom at least can't stand him. Dad doesn't really care. Do you ever feel like you’re sharing too much about yourself online? Oh, I absolutely used to. I still might, idk. I've tried to reel it back some. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Eight, but they're just small, vertical rectangles stacked together, so it's not as revealing as it sounds. What was the last necklace you wore? My spiked choker, I think, for pictures. Or maybe the one I have with a bunch of big silver skulls. Do you think there are more dimensions than what we’re able to perceive? I don't think so, no. Does anyone in your family have schizophrenia? My half-sister on Dad's side that I've never met. Have you ever been in an abandoned house? A shack, yeah. Do you like art? I positively adore it. I could NOT imagine life without it. How about theatre? I don't care for it. Have you ever made breakfast for someone? Yes, for Sara. Do you talk to your crush? If you have one. Yeah, she's my best fren. If yes, what do you usually talk about? Nowadays I ask her almost daily how she's doing in regards to her progress of recovering from both serious physical and mental stressors. I try to always be an available ear if she ever wants to vent. Would you rather read or watch a video about something? Watch a video. In what ways have you fulfilled some of the hopes and dreams you had as a teenager? I've fulfilled none of those. What’s one stressful thing you’ve been trying to deal with lately? How have you been dealing with it? Inexplicable, chronic boredom/serious anhedonia. I've just... put up with it. I get pleasure out of essentially nothing most days, and it sucks big time. I just try to distract myself and force myself to do things I usually love, though I've been bad about actually succeeding in making me do said stuff... Is there a regional chain of store/restaurant/etc. in your area that you feel very loyal to? MOTHERFUCKIN BOJANGLE'S, BITCH. You think YOU have good fries somewhere? Oh hunny, sit down. Oftentimes, people warn us against getting tattoos or body modifications or dying our hair unnatural colors because we could be judged poorly for them. But has a more “alternative” look ever worked out in your favor? Well, I like myself better with my piercings and tattoos, and that's all that really matters to me. Do you have any daily routine/habit of that you’re really proud of keeping up? No. .-. Pick one of the following activities to do in a forest (assume you would be equally good at each one of these): Foraging for mushrooms, identifying trees, searching for specific types of bugs, trying to build something out of fallen branches and logs. Searching for bugs w/ my camera!!! But that all sounds fun. What’s the hardest class you’ve ever taken? My most recent math course that I failed horribly.

1026

Do you like bacon? I’m not as wild about it as I used to be, but I’m still definitely into the whole put-bacon-on-everything schtick and I have no problem trying out novelty items that put bacon in donuts, or oatmeal, or cake, or whatever it is haha.

Have you ever wished for something to come true and it did? I mean, yes. It’s ranged from something as simple as “I wish it rains today,” to something as big as wishing that the person I like liked me back.

Do you like Rammstein? I’m familiar with the name but I’m not necessarily a fan.

Do you know a friend of a friend? Yes. I used to drink with Angela’s friends from arki. We never ended up being close but they were always great people to have a few drinks with.

Do you smile for no reason? I usually smile for a reason.

if somebody paid you a million dollars to get a green mohawk would you? Sure. I only stay at home anyway and that makes this whole thing not that big of a deal, honestly.

Ever had a BLT? Did you like it? It’s too basic a sandwich for me, but I wouldn’t turn it down if it were the only option available. I’d still remove the tomatoes, though; I never liked those in my burgers or sandwiches.

Are you in College? Not anymore; I graduated a few months ago.

Have you ever been to a State Fair? We don’t have those here, first of all because we don’t have states haha.

Do you like Youtube? I enjoy a number of YouTube channels and I certainly visit the site everyday, but I don’t like the way the corporation itself runs their website. It’s since become very different from what YouTube used to be.

If so whats your favorite channel? At the moment it’s Good Mythical Morning, but I also have a number of other subscriptions like BuzzFeed (for their Worth It series), First We Feast, Try Guys, PewDiePie, Anthony Padilla, Anna Park, a couple of channels dedicated to pro wrestling, some eating ASMR channels, among others.

Do you enjoy compulsively cleaning electronics? Can’t say I do.

What is your favorite small dog breed? Are beagles considered small dogs? I love them.

Do you smell bacon cooking? Nopes but I do have a dark chocolate macadamia cookie from Starbucks beside me that I can faintly smell.

Have you ever bitten anything for any unknown reason? What was it? I like biting on straws, but that’s about it I think.

Do you like the movie "The Master Of Disguise"? I don’t think I’ve heard of it before.

What is the closest thing to you thats red? A paper bag under my desk that holds all the artsy stuff I’ve bought over the years, like my coloring books and paintings.

Have you ever gone into a toystore just to play with the toys? That’s always made me feel like a freeloader haha, so I never go to toy stores just for that purpose. I’d sometimes play with whatever exhibits they have, but I make sure to go through the different toy sections too.

When was the last time you went through a Mcdonalds Playplace? Maybe when I was 5 ot 6 maybe? I went to Burger King’s playground way more often since we dined there more. Also, there were always fewer kids so it was more fun to play there.

Do you have an annoying dog? Cooper’s a beagle, who are notoriously big balls of energy, and so there are days I just can’t keep up with his energy and for those moments I do have shorter patience with him. It’s really not his fault, though.

What was the first comic book you ever had an obsession over? I was never into comic books. I tried for a long time because my two favorite wrestlers are into them, but just couldn’t jump on that train.

Do you like kids pop-up books? Loved them as a kid but I was never obsessed enough to have them for my own. I was content reading pop-up books in the school library.

Does anybody else think bugs are cool and interesting? I’m sure there are tons of people out there, but not me.

What kind of toothpaste do you use? Colgate.

Do you own a pair of striped socks? I don’t think so, no.

What is the most random thing in your bedroom? An inflatable pig.

In a normal conversation do you slip out Latin? LOL no. I don’t think I’ve done that before, unless I was singing something in Latin on purpose.

Can you sing? No. I’m not tone-deaf, but I’m not anywhere near decent either.

If so, what is the highest note you can reach? -

Have you ever been to the cream cheese capital of the world? I don’t know which one that is.

Was this survey random? Enough for me to have a good time with it, yes. 

Have you ever been in a parade? I’ve been to several Pride marches if they count.

What is your mothers, mothers maiden name? I don’t actually remember haha, so I wouldn’t be able to share it anyway. It’s a very Chinese-sounding name, though; that much I can share.

Do you have a different hairstyle? No. I just have bangs, which a lot of people already have. 

Am I annoying yet? I don’t feel annoyed, so you’re good.

Do you like soybeans? I haven’t had actual soybeans. < Same, but I’m sure I like food products that have soybeans in them or are made out of soybeans.

Do you press buttons just to see what they do? Hahahahahahahaha yes that’s me, I’m that person with the restless fingers.

Do you still play pokemon? I never got into the video games because I was never any good at strategy-based games, but I did play Pokemon Go for a while especially when I was in freshman year of college. Overall, I was mostly into the anime.

What is your favorite pokemon? Jigglypuff.

Have you ever put blue streaks in your white cats hair? I have a white dog, but I wouldn’t do this to him even if you gave me dog-friendly dye. Just not my preference.

Are you blond? Nope.

Does it bother you when people have a collar turned up? No.

Are your nails painted? If so, what color? If not, do you like nail polish? They’re never painted. No, I personally don’t see the appeal of nail polish for myself but you do you.

Are you awesome? I’ll let other people be the judge of that.

As a kid did you like Barney, Baby Bop, or DJ more? Wasn’t it BJ? Anyway, I liked him the most, then Barney. I found Baby Bop way too whiny.

Have you been to the Bzoink Forums yet? I just go there to look for surveys. I don’t actually try out the other features.

Does any key on your computer and or laptop stick? No.

Does fire excite you? Fuck no lmao, I’m terrified of fire.

Have you ever sung in a choir? Never.

Do you go to church? Until March this year, I had attended mass every Sunday all my life. When Covid hit, we started watching YouTube recordings at home. So yeah, no escape.

Have you ever had a theme (pirate, ninja, civil war) day? Like, in school? Yeah we had a themed day in high school once. I forgot what the actual theme was but I remember going as Lara Croft. In college, we used to go with color-coordinated outfits for Valentine’s Day, e.g. people who had dates can wear red, those who are single can wear black, those in complicated relationships can wear brown, those who had crushes but can’t have them can wear yellow, etc. It wasn’t an official rule, of course, but it was always fun for those who chose to join haha.

Can you touch your tongue to your nose? Nopes.

Have you ever been to Philadelphia PA? No. It has an amazing reputation for being a passionate wrestling city though; it’d be cool to go there and see a local show or two.

Do you think Orlando Bloom is hot? He’s not unattractive, but I just never had a crush on him.

Do you think Twilight is over-rated? At some point I think it was, but it also got (and continues to get) so much hate that I think that has since been able to balance out the initial overrated-ness of it. 

When was the last time you where sick? what did you have? I had a UTI in May, which I never would’ve known if I didn’t take a urine test because all I got was a high fever that never went away. Peeing was never painful for me during that time and my kidney region never hurt either.

What is your favorite number? 4.

Look at your toes. Sure.

If you are a girl do you hate girl drama? Idk what you mean by that. I never grew out of liking gossip, though.

If you are a guy do you hate girls who prolong the drama? -

ZZZ, im tired....are you? A little, but I have coffee so I might stay up for a bit because it’s Fridayyyyyyy.

Favorite indie music group? alt-J.

Have you ever pet a monkey? I don’t think I have.

Have you ever ridden a camel? Nopes.

Have you ever punched somebody? Never to hurt someone.

Do you like cupcakes? Love them.

Orange or lemon flavoring? Depends on what I’m consuming. I like orange chewy candies, but I like lemonade juice too.

Can you sing opera? Not a chance.

Touchpads or Mouse's? Touchpad.

Have you ever been to a Disney theme park? Nope, I haven’t.

My mother learned something about me today. Something very complex. 

For those who don’t know, I’m ASD. Verbalization isn’t impossible, but difficult to sort together. Keyboards are a very safe space to organize my thoughts in, and here is where I have opinions. I have opinions in real life, but rarely can formulate a sentence enough to speak them. My wife and I even discuss our differences and disagreements or outright arguments, as all relationships have, over discord, because I can actually talk rather than just spew half formed sentences.

Atop that, I’m a former street rat.  I rolled through waves of homelessness and child labor from my mother’s declining health and resulting oxy addiction in a single parent home with no siblings, I was hustling whatever I could get my hands on to make bills and working whatever jobs I could to keep us floating. Why yes, I DID swindle other kids even, because I had traded up my Pokemon cards and the highschooler totally thought he was getting one-up on me for “only” paying 100 for my holographic shiny charizard, good luck getting the 120 at a shop. Beanie babies--princess diana bear; pogs. And... sometimes less kid oriented things for less kid-like clientelle. I got on my feet, established my life, even fell into production, and even THAT kept me bumping around. I’ve lived in almost every continental state for some period of time and those I haven’t, I’ve traveled through, basically. Sometimes with a bag on my back and a thumb out on the road. 

My wife is fallen upper class -- to the point I had to explain to her that families losing, oh, 5-10 million dollars over a few years is not, in fact, middle class, which she was convinced she was. And once they fell into middle class they didn’t know how to operate in normalpeopleuniverse and kept making bad decisions that has started pitching them towards bottom class. (this debate came up over “Obama’s death tax screwing the middle class”, which she was convinced she was before a few inheritances got boned at the same time a bad business decision lost several other millions.) They maintain the image of middle class life, while hundreds of thousands of dollars and several dangerous deals in debt, but the reality is, they aren’t. But they play it. So I’ve had to learn to play it.

My wife has had a very abrupt introduction to learning this way of life and I’m happy to see her through it. On the other hand, when it comes to the airs of privileged society, the fine trims, the table settings, the functions and appearances, I am an alien to this world. I am Castiel-headtilting often. I follow their lead. I vocalize poorly. I am often, in the real world, absurdly quiet and compliant. 

Until I know I’m needed, and I need to take charge, and I’m the one that knows what to do. At which point, I am the same kind of bulldozer personality you see online.

I’ve recently been caught in a disaster of a life situation my mother in law kept making worse for a long list of excuses that boiled down to not wanting her daughter to leave the state, despite my wife’s desperate wishes to. That’s it in the end. Any good faith was long since gone.

She screwed up a fix-it a few days ago -- which was what caused my post about “don’t slam the cage in my face” -- and even sent my wife into paranoid spirals about it all. 

But those thoughts? Those things I turned over? After days of her nonsense, capped in 3 specific hours of her nonsense today, and one final attempt at manipulative power move on her part, she realized something.

And that’s to stay out of my way.

Those poorly structured thoughts? That difficulty to frame things? Came out as a tidal wave, a torrent of information shutting down every argument past or present or possible future she could ever think of. She pulled us aside, knowing we needed the extra vehicle, into a parking lot to try to stall us and argue again a few inches from the proverbial finish line.

And I went off in what was basically a 800 word rant at her.

That quiet person? That person who seems “not home” to her? I’m here. I’m thinking. I’m thinking past anything you’ve even thought you smartly thought and I’ve analyzed it and I’m just trying to get to where we need to be to get shit done.

Her entire excuse to even pull over was blown out of the water. It was something like, 

“But what if he’s there?”

“Good.”

“What do you mean good?!” 

“Then we call the cops and he gets served. Good.”

“Okay but if he’s NOT there and the cameras see us-”

“It doesn't matter if they see us on the cameras because it’s our own damn property and even if he could bring us to court the complaint would be dead the moment the letter of demand from two months past was shown and he won't even have the balls to step into a court to file on us because he has 4-5 lawsuits chasing him and he'd be served all of them the second he tried but even minding that he doesn't even have an address to service us at which leaves his only option to pursue us letting the serve be completed on our own suit and hoping it's ours and not the others so he can countersue and we'll gladly see him in court but the second it’s off the lot the mechanic lien vanishes and I know you're going to say what the cops said but you only heard half of it because they advised doing either but legally could not overtly tell us to drive it off with the lien and thus endorsed with just about airquotes what the MOST legal version was of this and they aren't going to come after us and nothing's going to happen and when we talked to the lawyer yesterday he said we fucked up not taking it the day before the exact way i told you to do it and had completely in our control until you decided to be noncompliant at the last second so if we could get this over with instead of stopping to eat after you chose not to get a snack like me and shea did the last several times you kept stopping the car to not get here- “

just one endless torrent without breathing.

bitch i swindled swindlers in the middle of learning my ABCs

Summarily I flayed my mother in law in a taco bell parking lot. And you know what, suddenly, she isn’t hungry. And frankly, is like a dog that you scolded that can’t look at you anymore when you ask who tore up the couch.

Y’all don’t underestimate the autistic folks around you. We’re thinking, we’re watching. And god help you if we have to start talking.

She mentioned to Shea, “You’re braver than I am,” to which my wife said, “No, that’s all her. You got in my head pretty good.” And like the quiet soul I am in the real world, I said nothing, I just looked at her. I think she gets it now, maybe. Just because I’m quiet, or compliant in their wheelhouse of a universe does not mean I am someone to be pushed around.

And that’s my takeaway on today.

That, and my wife realizing, I WILL teach her how to play hard-and-fast. Everything has worked out exactly like I said it would. Sometimes, you can’t wait for paper to solve everything. Play it legal, sure. But laws aren’t the exact lines you have to walk, knowing how to play in the grey space between it is how conmen work, and is often the only way to win against them. Eat my shit dude.

Play straight with me, I play straight with you. Play dirty with me and my god, once I can stop herding the discombobulated cats around me that have no idea what the fuck they’re doing and stop going against all the plans in place, son, look out.

There are two major cities I don’t even live in anymore I could order a street sweep on to this day. Did it once before last time a girl went missing in one. She was found alive 2 hours later exactly where I territory-gridded out within a block of error from 2600 miles away. Bro don’t fuck with me. This may not be my city but I know your game. I’ve had to deal with fuckbags like you my whole life.

Update: We had an inside line and let’s just say I know full and well exactly as I said, he accepted defeat, because that’s what it is, defeat. He saw some women dressed up as middle/upper class suburbia he thought he could take advantage of and you know what, one of those women was a chameleon who knew his part of the jungle. 

Goty 2019

Hey. It’s game of the year 2019 baby. By now you know the kinda justice we seek on these streets, so no long-winded introductions, except to remind you that these aren’t reviews, and honorable mentions have been moved down to the bottom this year because we're evolving.

12. Super Kirby Clash (Switch) - A free to play online Kirby spinoff centered around combat that features microtransactions sounds like an awful idea on paper, and yet it’s somehow my most played multiplayer game of 2019. I won’t try and present the game as anything more than what it is, which is basically a very (very very very!) simplified, arcade-y Monster Hunter game with a very (very very very very!) cute aesthetic. But as a recent convert to Monster Hunter and a longtime Kirby lobbyist, it turns out that that’s all I need to play a game for nearly 100 hours. The four classes all have varied abilities, gameplay and roles to play, and there’s nothing more satisfying than freezing time as the mage in the middle of an enemy’s jumping animation. I found the microtransactions to be completely fair, as I spent around 10 dollars total on the game and never found myself hurting for apples (the game’s main currency and the only one you can buy with real money) to upgrade my equipment. This isn’t a game I would be able to recommend to everyone, but if it’s your type of thing then it’s going to be very much your type of thing.

*Image credit: 505 games

11. Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Despite horrible first impressions from my backer copy of the Switch version, Bloodstained really ended up delivering the true Castlevania: Symphony of the Night successor it promised to be, and I had a fantastic time with it (after trading in my Switch version and begrudgingly purchasing a PS4 copy). While I love almost all of the Castlevania games in their own ways, even the best entries post-SotN didn’t end up feeling much like SotN. Bloodstained, meanwhile, wears its inspiration on its sleeve. Or rather on its wolf hood and gas mask combo.

Obscure, bizarre, and goofy secrets are around every single corner of the castle. I mean, like, really esoteric ones that I can’t imagine having found without a guide. From the myriad of hidden (and very challenging!) boss fights, to trophies popping for playing a piano while having a fair familiar out to entire sprite based areas, the surprises never stop being thrown at the player. It adds so much goofball flavor to the game that’s missing from just about any other entry in the genre, and it does the brunt work in giving this game its identity.

Not only are the secrets plentiful and good, but the combat is also excellent; much like a couple entries in the latter Castlevania games, just about every single enemy in Bloodstained has a chance of dropping you a shard upon defeat, and each one gives your character Miriam a new ability. Some of these are simple passive buffs, while others completely change your combat options. From ghostly portrait guardians to giant dentist drills coming out of your hand to summoning disembodied dragon’s heads, the shard system is never not entertaining, and leaves the player so much room for experimentation and realizing their ideal build it’s actually a wonder they were able to bug test this thing at all. And truly, the main issues holding Bloodstained back from true greatness are its technical issues. Which is a shame, and seemingly an issue on all platforms. But if you can handle a hard crash here or there, you’re in for a treat.

10. Fire Emblem: Three Houses (Switch) - I never thought I would care at all for any Fire Emblem game. Certainly, I saw the appeal of them prior to Three Houses, but they just never seemed like something I would want to devote a lot of time to. But putting the game in a school setting and recontextualizing your soldiers as students really made a huge difference for me, and I bonded with the characters in the game in a way I normally reserve for my Pokemon teams. And unlike Pokemon, I can marry my students, which is beautiful and horrifying.

There are definitely issues with Three Houses. A silent protagonist has no right starring in a game like this, especially with all the emotional story beats the game is trying to pull off. The writing in general was also all over the place, ranging from odd decisions with both the characters as well as the overarching story (some of this is remedied by replaying the game multiple times and going down different routes, but I put 60 hours into the game and couldn’t even finish two paths, so that’s a bit unrealistic). Lastly, the monastery that serves as your school needs just a tad more variety in activities to do in between the battles, as what started out as my favorite part of the game became a chore for the last dozen or so hours.

All of that said, I am anxiously waiting for the sequel, as the foundation that’s been put down here could lead to something truly special. As it stands, this is the best secret Harry Potter game ever made, and that alone is going to have a lot of appeal to a lot of people.

*Image credit: Gamespot

9. Resident Evil 2 (PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Truly, I have never been more stressed out when playing a game than the first time I had to start dealing with Mr. X. Yes, on each subsequent playthrough (of which I did many!) and even encounter he became less of a threat and more of an annoyance, but much like a good horror movie, that first time will remain embedded in my brain as one of my most memorable gaming moments.

And that kinda sums up Resident Evil 2 as a whole for me. An amazing, unforgettable start in the police station, followed by a somewhat middling second act in the sewers, and ending on kind of a weirdly short whimper in a very tonally different setting than the rest of the game. And that’s without getting into how disappointingly similar the “B” playthroughs of either character were to their “A” counterparts. It was all still great, mind you, and the gameplay and scares remained excellent throughout. But man was that first act in the police station something truly special, and I’m hopeful that the eventual remake of 3 keeps more of that tone throughout.

8. Pokemon Sword/Pokemon Shield (Switch) - Cutting hundreds of Pokemon was pretty close to the bottom of my list of concerns going into the latest Pokemon. The series hasn’t really grabbed me in a major way since Black and White on the DS almost 9(!) years ago, and I had largely accepted the idea that I was finally growing out of the franchise. While this 8th generation of Pokemon titles is far, far from perfect, and in fact doubles down on a lot of the aspects I don’t like about modern Pokemon games, Sword has become my favorite entry in the series in a very long time.

This is down to two things: my favorite batch of new Pokes the series has ever had (Galarian Farfetch’d, my prince............) and the introduction of multiplayer coop content with raids. The former is subjective I suppose (but seriously, Galarian Farfetch’d), and the appeal of the raids is going to be dictated by how into repetitive content you are and if you have people to raid with. I’m fortunate enough to love repetitive tasks in video games, especially repetitive tasks that amount to fighting and capturing giant monsters for rewards, and to have a partner to enjoy those repetitive tasks with. We lost entire weekends to hunting down new raid opportunities in Sword, and this feels like the first major step the series has taken in nearly a decade to try and reengage me in a meaningful way.

And don’t get me wrong: Pokemon has a long way to go to bring me entirely back into the fold. The dungeons are nonexistent, the routes are largely completely straightforward affairs, the post game content is so light that “barebones” feels like a generous descriptor, and the performance issues in the wild area (the game’s more open, free roaming space) are inexcusably awful when played online. I hope by the time the 9th generation games roll around that we’ll get a bigger advancement than what’s been seen here, but to me, this feels like an all around better made product than any of the 3DS entries, with or without Galarian Farfetch’d.

7. Risk of Rain 2 (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/PC) - The original Risk of Rain is a personal all-time favorite, so seeing the developers successfully make the jump from 2D to 3D while still maintaining everything I love about the first game is a truly remarkable feat. Both games sport essentially MMO-lite combat with abilities dictated by cooldowns and items that you get from chests and bosses, with rogue-like progression and permadeath. That’s a lot of jargon even for me talking about video games, so essentially: keep shooting things and powering up by grabbing items and defeating bosses, and when you’re dead you’re dead (bar a specific item), rinse and repeat.

It’s deceptively simple while being endlessly replayable. The true fun comes in when playing with other people, as every character plays completely differently, and figuring out builds for each person on the fly is extremely fun and rewarding. This also means that if you start getting bored of one character, simply play a different one on your next run. Add in an extremely moody sci-fi aesthetic (including one of my favorite soundtracks of the year) and that’s Risk of Rain.

The main issue with Risk of Rain 2 at this point is that it’s simply unfinished, and won’t even have an actual ending state until spring of 2020. This doesn’t hamper my enjoyment of the game much, hence it being on this list, but I imagine a lot of people would be bothered by it. The developers have done a great job of updating the game at a decent pace so far though, and every major patch has come with a new character, among a ton of other things. And if I’ve already gotten this much enjoyment out of an early access title, it’s exciting to think about a feature complete version down the line. And hopefully that feature complete version of Risk of Rain 2 includes the Chef character from the first game *ahem*.

6. Astral Chain (Switch) - In a year full of some real dang weird yet shockingly great games, Astral Chain stands tall as probably the weirdest surprise of them all. You’re a future cop fighting invisible ghost demons from an alternate dimension with your own invisible ghost demon chained to you through some high tech handcuffs. That’s just the first half hour of the game, and it ratchets up the anime nonsense many magnitudes over in the course of its 20ish hour runtime. And it’s great and stupid.

It’s not just the plot that’s over the top, though. Coming from developer Platinum Games, renowned for their nonstop super sweaty action portfolio, Astral Chain spends just as much time tasking the player with exploring its world, characters, and lore as it does asking you to punch enemies the size of skyscrapers (or bigger). It’s a formula that works shockingly well, as I found myself enjoying the downtime segments just as much, if not more, than the action portions of the game. And the action that is there doesn’t really play like your typical Devil May Cry or Bayonetta, either; the player character, while critical to pulling off combos and the like, is not your primary damage dealer, with that role being fulfilled by your five “legions” (the aforementioned ghost demon buddies), all of which have different strengths, weaknesses and abilities. The gameplay ends up feeling kind of like a realtime Pokemon game by way of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, and no sentence I’ve ever written has been as cool as that one.

I do think Astral Chain falls a bit short in the combat department, at least compared to other games in the genre. It’s a bit too simplified, despite how crazy looking and overwhelming the actions you and your legions end up doing can be, and I think that the obligatory Platinum-style grading system in this is very poor - it doesn’t seem to grade overall performance so much as it just wants you to constantly be switching your legions in the midst of battle. Which is a great lesson to teach your players, but I would also like if anything else about my combat performance seemed to have significant weight on my grade. Having said all that, it’s a flaw that I found much easier to overlook in the midst of battle when I sent my wolf legion ahead of me, biting and tearing its way through a cluster of enemies, while I hung back inside of my punching legion, finally able to fulfill my years-long Star Platinum “ora ora ora” fantasies.

5. Anodyne 2: Return to Dust (PC) - There’s a lot going on in Anodyne 2, and I fear trying to describe it in words, not only because of all the jargon I’d inevitably have to use, but also because I’m not sure I can do the game justice. To that end, here’s a brief trailer of the game to get you started:

If you find that trailer at all intriguing, Anodyne 2 is definitely for you. And if you’re still skeptical, know that the game has far more to offer than just its (beautiful) low-poly aesthetic. While visually it’s obviously most evoking Playstation 1 era games such as Mega Man Legends, in terms of the tone of its writing it strikes a pretty peculiar balance between Earthbound and Nier: Automata (names I do not invoke lightly!). The visuals aren’t just an aesthetic choice, either - throughout the game you find yourself in 2D overhead areas, solving puzzles inside of the minds of other characters, and these varying layers of abstraction serve to further the game’s message and atmosphere. And it’s all of these things combined that pushed Anodyne 2 over the edge of “memorable” and into the realm of “haunting” for me.

It’s a game that wants to be played and experienced by everyone; you can tell how much love was put into every single corner of the world, every line of dialogue, and each and every single goofy joke. Steven Universe (another seeming inspiration of the developers) is the only other piece of media that has reminded me of just how lost and alone I’ve felt at various stages of life, while choosing not to dwell on that and instead using it as a launching pad to remind me of just how far I’ve come. As the game itself says, Anodyne 2 is a game about life, and I’ve rarely come across one that felt so full of it.

4. Judgment (PS4) - With the release of Yakuza 0 a couple of years ago, the Yakuza games went from a series I was vaguely aware of in my periphery to maybe my all-time favorite video game comfort food. They’re silly, melodramatic, sad, and beautiful, tonally swinging back and forth like a large imposing guard wildly trying to hit Kiryu with a couch section. Most importantly, they manage to feel heartfelt and personal in an age where high budget games seldom feel anything of the sort. I was initially hesitant, then, to play a spinoff that threw aside its entire cast of established characters for a crew that dabbles in detective and lawyer work; I didn’t think there was much of a chance that this new band of very handsome crimeboys with hearts of gold would be able to compare to Kiryu, Majima and the like. How glad I was to be wrong, as Judgment is now maybe my favorite of the Yakuza games I’ve played.

By pulling further out (but not completely away) from the culture of organized crime as the central driving factor of the story, you no longer need to memorize a dozen different yakuza organizations and all of their subsidiaries and patriarchs within, nor do you have to try and remember which side is feuding with who. And that isn’t to say that the story doesn’t have just as many twists and turns; it does, and despite the larger scale of the stakes, ends up feeling more focused and personal. I also found it easy to bond with the two main characters, Yagami and Kaito, as not only do their personalities play off of each other very well, but they simply share more screentime together than I’ve ever seen Kiryu get a chance to do with anyone. Truly, the story ended up being one of my favorites in the entire medium, and I fell in love with the characters to the point where I got misty eyed during the credits.

With regards to gameplay, it’s a Yakuza game. Which means a lot of running around Kamurocho, talking and shopping and playing minigames and brawling. Since the player character in this entry is a detective, there are various mechanics and events related to the profession, such as investigating crime scenes and tailing suspects, but they’re by far the weakest part of the game, and you shouldn’t come to this game looking for incredible detective gameplay. Instead, come to the game for literally everything else it offers, because it’s a fantastic experience all around, and a great jumping on point for anyone unfamiliar with Yakuza.

*Image credit: Steam user Symbol

3. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice (PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Frankly, I did not much care for Sekiro for the majority of my first play through. Specifically, I dreaded its boss fights. To go from the sheer joy of being able to dispatch a courtyard full of enemies in any way I pleased in the game’s relatively free form stealth sections, to being killed in a matter of two or three hits to every single boss and miniboss was frustrating; how could I not groan when I started that duel with Genichiro at the top of the castle, knowing full well that I was going to be stuck there for a few (or more) frustrating hours? It wasn’t until the fight against the protagonist’s father figure, Owl, hours later at the same location as the aforementioned Genichiro fight, that something clicked. It only took around 30 hours, but suddenly, instead of approaching the situation like a Dark Souls or Bloodborne boss, I was not only being defensive, but I was being aggressively defensive, parrying nearly every single blow. Suddenly it was me standing in place, baiting out my opponent’s attacks only to throw the force of his own momentum back at him. Suddenly combat made sense in this damn game. And suddenly I was dead again in a quick three hits after inhaling some magic gas that prevented me from being able to heal. But that was ok! Because suddenly this game was amazing, and suddenly I had completed it four times and adored every second of it (except for that fucken four form final boss with no checkpoints).

I still stand by my (and a lot of other’s) original complaint that the disparity between the freedom offered in the rest of the game compared to the unflinchingly rigid roadmap you have to follow in fighting the bosses is jarring game design, and it’s very fun to imagine a version of Sekiro that lets you approach bosses any which way you like. On the other hand, no other game that I’ve ever played, not even Sekiro’s predecessor and my favorite game of this console generation, Bloodborne, has come anywhere close to making me feel this cool when fighting bosses. And that’s a mighty impressive accomplishment on any game’s part, speaking from the perspective of an overweight, sweaty, hairy, very uncool man.

But really, fuck that final boss though.

2. Dragon Quest Builders 2 (Switch/PS4/PC) - When we were around 10-years-old, one of my best friends, Patrick, used to host fairly regular Lego-building sleepovers, where everyone built whatever they wanted, and our creations were then showcased to the rest of the group. Being that the group consisted entirely of pre-pubescent boys, this meant building various robots or cars, all of variable quality/ability to stand upright. During one of these nights, in lieu of the usual deathbot piloted by the ghost minifig, I instead constructed a little bunker for the ghost - a place where, after a long day of being forced (by me) to pilot his mech suit and commit unspeakable acts, he could hang up his ghost hat and be forced (by me) to ponder the morality of his actions. It was just a tiny little room with the necessities: bed, table, bookshelves and pizza, but when presenting it to my friends I proudly declared that the bunker was also located at the bottom of the ocean, a factor that couldn’t be visually represented due to the harsh limits of time, Lego pieces and my ability. I was pretty proud of my cool-down chamber, but if memory serves correctly, it was Patrick’s no doubt boorish creation that was the apple of everyone’s eye. And who am I to try and convince a room full of my peers that actually, a secluded room where you could read in peace for all eternity was much cooler than a punching gorilla bot?

This is all to say that I have never been a creative type, especially when it comes to building. I had previously played Minecraft and the first Dragon Quest Builders, and while I enjoyed them, there wasn’t quite enough there to make me want to engage with them on a level beyond just playing them like any other game - I don’t think I ever built anything in DQB1 that wasn’t required for the sake of progression in the main story, and the less said about my Minecraft efforts the better. Builders 2 expertly sidesteps this issue by wrapping its building mechanics around an engaging and hearfelt story (I got teary-eyed multiple times!), great characters (especially the main character’s mysterious best friend/partner in crime, Malroth) and a lovely localization. It also encourages more freeform building than the previous game by tying the progression of the story to the progression of your main, customizable island. You don’t ever really have to go off into the weeds on your own in regards to building, but the game gives you so many opportunities to fill in the blanks on premade templates that you eventually just become comfortable in doing so. It’s hard to stop myself from gushing about the game, to the point where as I type this I’m questioning why it’s “only” number 2 on this list.

And thanks to DQB2, for the first time in 20 years I revisited my first creative endeavor: the underwater solitude bunker, this time no longer held back by the technology of the day, instead fully realized in digital form. Built as far down as the game would allow my character to dig, hidden beneath the still waters of a reservoir inside of a pyramid, it is truly a testament to mankind’s ingenuity. And it is wicked. Naturally I had my artist (and DQB2 fanatic) girlfriend visit my game’s world so she bask in my true brilliance. I gleefully guided her down to the catacombs and down the intimidatingly long chain that dangled into the deceptively still depths. After a brief swim into the murky unknown, we arrived at our hidden destination at the bottom of the earth, where she was greeted by the sight of my submerged masterpiece. A wry smile snaked itself around my lips, as I knew, was absolutely certain, that within seconds, once she had made it through the de-pressurization chamber at the entrance to my paradise, I would be hearing the words of someone simultaneously shocked, awed, and hopefully only a bit jealous. Instead, I was met with a few seconds of silence followed by a patronizing “Well, I’d have never thought to build something like this.”

So, I guess that’s why Builders 2 couldn’t quite reach the number one spot: true art is never appreciated in its time.

1. Hypnospace Outlaw (PC) - No piece of commercial art has ever felt like it was made for me in the way that Hypnospace Outlaw does. I grew up on the internet during the time period this game’s alternate reality take on the 90s internet is drawing its inspiration from; I have talked at length, to anyone who will listen, about how this early incarnation of the internet felt more like a physical space than it does now, and how much I miss the days of stumbling on to weird Geocities sites, meeting people in AOL chatrooms, and the early days of pirating. I met my first girlfriend through the internet, as well as my current one. The vast majority of the friends I’ve made in my life would not have happened without the internet, and not just because of distance; the internet allowed the younger me to be the person I was too insecure to be in person, and to develop my own voice. I owe who I am to the people I met in freeware fanmade Dragonball Z games and IRC chat rooms, and I think that’s kind of fucked up and magical, and it’s all kind of a miracle that I’m not even more of a mess of a person than I am today. And the developers of this game have clearly had those experiences, too.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that Hypnospace Outlaw is for everyone, because it’s absolutely not. It’s essentially a detective game, but you’re solving cases by investigating user made internet pages circa 1997, and the “cases” you’re working on are largely things like bullying and copyright infringement. In other words, you’re mostly just reading gaudy websites and figuring out more about the back end and exploits of the Hypnospace experience. It is incredibly specific and niche and, as someone that sorely misses staying up until 3 AM downloading Winamp skins, I can’t stop thinking about this game, even months later.

I wrote a longer piece on the game on this very blog, and instead of rehashing anymore of it here, I’ll just direct you that way. Though if I may, I’d like to give one last endorsement for the game for any hypothetical person reading this that’s on the fence about trying it - if you’re the kind of person that somehow finds yourself reading this game of the year list, and have made it this far down the page without getting bored, I promise you that you’ll find something to love about Hypnospace Outlaw.

Honorable mentions (for games that were either not originally released in 2019 or I still wanted to briefly touch on):

Dragon Quest 11 S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition (Switch) - Somewhere in between listing the original release of Dragon Quest 11 as my 7th favorite game of 2018 and now, it went from being “a really great JRPG” to “one of the best games I’ve ever played”, and in all honesty should have probably been at the top of last year’s list. A beautiful, unmatched experience all around.

Overcooked! 2 (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/PC) - The Overcooked games are possibly the best coop games I’ve ever played by merit of them actually requiring communication between players. Framing the game’s mechanics around cooking food, a universally understood act, is brilliant.

Baba is You (Switch/PC) - This is the most clever puzzle game I’ve ever played. Hell, it’s probably the most clever game I’ve ever played period. What prevented me from truly falling in love with it was that every single puzzle after the first couple of worlds became the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do in my life. And while that did make solving those puzzles equally satisfying, the thought of dedicating multiple hours each to stumbling through dozens and dozens more of single screen puzzles was a bit more than I was able to handle. Still, for any puzzle fans, there are some genuinely jaw-dropping moments in this that shouldn’t be missed.

Kirby’s Dreamland 3 (Switch/SNES) - The things I didn’t like about DL3 as a single player game are exactly what makes it a great coop Kirby game, which was a way to play this game that I never had the pleasure of experiencing until this year when it was re-released on the SNES Switch app. It’s skyrocketed up my list of favorite Kirby games, as well as become my favorite SNES coop game. Also, Gooey.

Kind Words (lo fi chill beats to write to) (PC) - I don’t quite qualify this as a game, as it’s more of a message in a bottle app with a very warm and charming aesthetic. But if you’ve ever wanted to anonymously reach out to strangers and tell them things are going to be all right while listening to some calming music, this is the thing for you.

Luigi’s Mansion 3 (Switch) - I have a deep, deep fondness for all three of the Luigi’s Mansion games (the GameCube and the original game were my first launch day purchases!), and 3 is by far the best game in the series. Every single moment of it was some high degree of charming and/or cute, and it’s a game I would feel confident in recommending to just about everybody. However, while I truly loved my time with the game and will no doubt replay it years down the road, there was nothing inside of it that really left any kind of deep impression on me. It’s a summer blockbuster in a kid-friendly spooky form, and that’s great for what it is.

Super Mario Maker 2 (Switch) - Mario Maker 2, sequel to what I would consider to possibly be the best game Nintendo’s ever made, is by far and away my most disappointing game of the year. It’s still an amazing toolkit, and I’ve been very satisfied with the levels I ended up making. That said, the gaming landscape has changed a lot in the 5 years between the original and the sequel, and with Nintendo’s nigh complete silence regarding updates coming to the game, I can’t consider it to be anything but a massive disappointment. And maybe that will change! But as of this posting, there’s been almost nothing to keep me coming back to the game a mere few months into its life, and that’s a huge problem. All of that said, it’s still a fantastic game and value, especially if (like most) you didn’t get a chance to play the original due to the console it was stuck on.

I have a question!!! How long have you been drawing and how long have you been doing digital art? Was it difficult to start with? I'm looking at learning to draw, but I'm not sure if I want to start traditional or if I want to get a tablet. TELL ME!!!

Hey there! Sorry this took me a full day to get to. I wanted to make sure I had time to properly search/attach links and whatnot. Then I had to contend with bath and bedtime for Kiddo. I literally started this post at 7pm... It’s now almost 11. 

I have been drawing in traditional mediums since I was a LITTLE kid. Really little. Before I was in Kindergarten. I broke away from it after I graduated high school but came back to it after I moved to Florida. Chibi Cullen was my first digital piece, though. So... technically since October of 2017. I got my tablet at Christmas 2017 and that is when I REALLY got into it.  

To answer what you should learn on: That’s largely a personal decision and not one I can really help you with outside of giving you some info and some links to help get you started. 

Bare bones basic info:

Traditional is cheaper but you can play and learn without restraint on digital. It’s just that the tablet is going to be a MUCH bigger deposit. To get started in traditional art supplies, you can get away with approximately $20. A tablet is going to run you at least $50, likely more. 

Keep in mind: expensive equipment does not a better artist make. A graphics tablet will not make drawing easier. Sure it has tools to help, like line stabilizers and such... but only practice will truly make you better. 

I expand on this stuff below but first, my opinion. 

My humble opinion: 

If you want to just dabble and see how you get on: go traditional. 

If you absolutely positively KNOW art is a skill you WANT to pursue no matter the degree of difficulty it is for you, that’s when you can begin to entertain the idea of a getting a tablet, but make sure you weigh everything out. 

I don’t want to see anyone shell out that kind of money and have it be used once. I cannot stress enough to make sure you know your heart before sinking in on an expensive piece of equipment like a graphics tablet. 

The rest is under the cut because this is a long post and I don’t want people to hate me. 

Digital 

If money isn’t an issue and you have a decent computer, you can consider going digital. 

 FireAlpaca, Krita, and MediBang are all free to download digital painting software. I, personally, have FireAlpaca and I love it. But I have also been toying around with trying Krita out. However, all of these programs are good enough that I don’t think you’d miss not having PaintTool SAI or Photoshop. 

I will sing the praises of my Huion graphic tablet until my dying day because it will honestly probably last me that long if I don’t upgrade to a more advanced one sometime down the line. 

Seriously. The one I have right now has already been dropped (because I’m clumsy as fuck), thrown (courtesy of a melting down kiddo), peed on and subsequently washed and sanitized (courtesy of an asshole cat), and stepped on (because my guy tripped over the asshole cat and knocked a whole bunch of shit off my desk in the process). The thing still works. They ARE built to last.  

The version I have is the H610 Pro which costs about $80.00. There is some hand/eye coordination that needs to be learned because you will be drawing on the tablet but the image will be on your screen. That can take some time to get acclimated to. 

My H610 is not the cheapest tablet they offer... I know that much but I haven’t really done a deep dive into Huion’s selection. But there are other types of tablets as well. Wacom, Yiynova, Lenovo, Microsoft, Apple, and Samsung all have tablets for artists. 

If you want to talk tablets with monitors that allow you to see what you are drawing where you are actually drawing, you’re gonna be looking at throwing down a hefty chunk of cheddar (a couple hundred at least). For Huion products, that’s the Kamvas series of tablets. 

I have had my tablet for 14 months already and I use it All. The. Time. I tell you that to tell you this: I have not yet replaced the nib on my pen and don’t anticipate having to change the nib for another year at MINIMUM. The tablet comes with four backup nibs. So, at almost daily use, you can easily get a decade worth of art out of the set they give you out the gate.

Traditional

To just do some light sketch stuff while you are getting used to drawing, it’s cheapest to just get some cheap mechanical pencils or drawing pencils and some simple printer paper. If you want a sketchbook, go cheap. 

Once you get into your groove and want to start branching out, by all means, buy more expensive supplies if that suits your fancy. But to just get started on basics: Go. Cheap!!! There is no reason to spend more than $20 (and that’s being exceptionally liberal) at Walmart or the local dollar store.  

I cannot stress enough that to just start out you don’t need pro quality anything. Crayola or RoseArt is what every. single. artist. started on because most of us started in school and just kept going from there. Those companies are still around because they are the building blocks every artist started on (at least in the USA... I don’t know about foreign markets). Guaranteed. 

I still, to this day, use Crayola colored pencils. Two reasons: 1. I’m incredibly cheap and, most importantly, 2. they work just fine. 

Conclusion (at last, amiright?) and Affirmation

I know I sold my Huion tablet pretty hard in the digital section but that’s ONLY because there is more information needed to make an informed decision (like sturdiness, brands, etc.). There is a lot less to discuss for basic supplies to just get started.  

I will suggest traditional more often than I will suggest spending boatloads of cash for a beginner.

The choice between digital and traditional largely boils down to two things:

Cost

Drive / ambition / want / dedication

For the average person/household, cost effectiveness is critical in this economy. Even if you know in your heart of hearts digital art is a skill set you want to achieve, if you can’t afford a tablet, go traditional at first and gradually save up for a tablet. If you aren’t sure you will like drawing enough to sink in AT LEAST $50- and that is a fairly low-balled price tag- go traditional. 

I will only ever recommend a tablet as a starting point to those who know with 100% certainty that drawing/digital painting is a hobby/skill they WANT to pursue. 

I know I cannot tell people what to do because, ultimately, the choice is theirs. All I can offer is my opinion and some words of wisdom and caution. 

I will say this, though:

Art is a skill, just as much as writing, sewing, knitting, and so on. ANYONE can learn this skill. Some advance faster than others due to natural aptitude but anyone can do it. You just have to dedicate time and patience to learning it. 

Every artist started with stick figures. ;)

Remember that. 

Every single one of us started by drawing stick figures. 

That’s not to say that’s where you will begin, but an affirmation that literally EVERYONE, including commissioned artists, starts in the same place. Stick figures in crayon when we were kids. We all evolved from there.   

Do NOT under ANY circumstances beat yourself up if you set out to draw a cat and it looks like Ditto with whiskers. (It’s happened to me. Literally that exact scenario. It’s okay to laugh. I sure did.) This is a Ditto, in case Pokemon isn’t your thing:

Keep at it and you will improve. I promise. Regardless of which way you go. Keep. At. It. and you will improve.

Drawing/painting is a constant evolution, regardless of medium, be it digital or a traditional one. Once you get the basics down, you begin to develop your own style. And even your own style changes as you progress. Look at mine. I’ve drawn two things for you. Hannah and Satinalia Cullen. Both mine but the styles are lightyears apart because I worked and evolved.

Studies in anatomy, color theory, light theory, and the like will be your best friends. Good reference photos will be your best friends. 

And always remember: art is 150% subjective. Look at Picasso and Jackson Pollock. They are nothing like Michelangelo, Da Vinci, or Georgia O’Keefe. All of it is art. 

Abstract, Renaissance, Nuveau, Deco, Modernism, Fauvism, Pointilism, Impressionism and the rest... All art. All very different styles. 

All. Are. Valid. 

All started with stick figures somewhere in their history. You gotta start somewhere but keep at it and you will succeed.

Saturday adventure! I had a couple of errands to run on the other side of town, so decided to make a day of it and check out a few interesting places as well.

This is somewhat similar to the style of shoe I’m looking for, but I have really tall feet, and these are comparatively flat. Also, the biggest size available was an 8.5... and, uhh, they’re ninety dollars for some reason.

This is a bit less of what I was going for, but still a really cool design, and was actually available in a thirteen. I might actually have gotten a pair of these... if they weren’t on sale for the low low price of eighty bucks. Uh, no thanks on that.

This is the time of year to go out in search of carrot-themed items... but sadly, all this thrift store had were banana book ends.

The main event! The nice people at Lowes were, in fact, willing to cut my big evil key blank for me. The way it normally works is that you pay the price listed on one of their key blanks and the cutting is considered a free service... but since I brought in my own blank, that kinda complicated things. It all worked out in the end though, and I was surprised to discover that having a longer key makes for a significantly smoother door-opening experience.

At Big Lots, I happened to find my single favorite instant ramen of all time. I have no idea why the stores stopped carrying it, since it seemed relatively popular... maybe it’s just the curse of everything I like being discontinued. I don’t know whether Maruchan is still producing this stuff, but I bought the store’s entire supply, so for the time being I’ll just be happy that I was even able to find it.

Speaking of instant ramen, they also had Cup Noodle with a Jump Force cross-promotion... Is this game already out? Has it been out long enough for these to end up in a job lot store? Huh.

Next was G33k Out, a local tabletop gaming store and supplier of all things geeky, which I happened to find on the map while plotting a route between two places. It was right by a book store I wanted to visit, so I decided to pop in.

I wonder what kind of tasty things are in their cooler case...

...Huh.

I was seriously tempted by this selection of enamel pins, and had to tell myself that it would be more fulfilling (and significantly cheaper) to 3D print and paint Pokemon gym badges myself, which I’ve already done with the Kanto badges.

They sell drinks in glass bottles, and had a bucket for bottle caps set up... designed to look like a collections jar. Clever! Unfortunately, these days thinking of Fallout just makes me think of Fallout 76 and how, for three solid months, Bethesda was consistently generating new controversies every couple days.

Finally, lunch at Haeorum!

...Will be getting its own dedicated post, because I ended up writing a lot about it, and this post has gone on long enough already.

Yugioh S1 Ep 46: Creating All of Your Own Problems

This season is almost over, but I guess the showmakers had one last thing to bring in last second--one last character--one last toy product that hits the shelves. But, the big problem I can see they had to work around was how do you introduce a character who has nothing to do with this season? Just plop him on at the end in his own self-contained arc, I guess.

So we begin by running into Yugi at home/store he lives in, where Grandpa’s sweeping the stoop although shouldn’t he be inside running the shop? Maybe he’s just keeping an eye on Yugi, making sure he doesn’t run off to an island again. Maybe Tea and Grandpa have an arrangement that Yugi doesn’t get to go anywhere by himself unsupervised because he keeps getting horribly distracted and risking his entire life every time he does. Maybe that’s why she meets him here at his house to walk to school instead of at school?

Grandpa didn’t even bring up getting his ass kicked by Kaiba because apparently Grandpa has had a new life threatening event every couple of months for just his entire life.

I feel like Grandpa runs the itty bitty bodega of game shops.

(read more under the cut)

Isn’t the entire point of a game shop to sell fads, what is he talking about? Like, even if you’re a game shop that sells handmade toys that have no lights or automated parts that’s...still a hippie fad thing. That’s still a fad. Maybe it’s just my capitalist mindset, but maybe Grandpa should stock some Nintendo?

But honestly, their family had nothing to worry about because look at this terrifying storefront.

No child with eyes would enter here.

Kinda surprised her threatening him with homework was actually in the show, because her telling him that he’d have to do her homework for a week sounds like more of a punishment for her than the other way around. Like, may as well have a cat with a pen tied to their tail do your homework.

So this pirate here owns the shop and goes by the name Duke Devlin. He’s got a lot of stuff on his face. Kinda looks like he wants to go full Nomura but hasn’t discovered belts yet.

I’m not sure how his headband works, as some of the hair is under the headband and going into his face (thus ruining the point of a headband) and the rest is going over the headband and into his face (thus ruining the point of a ponytail). There’s a lot going on here, and I...I just don’t know exactly how this hair anatomy works.

This weird line on his face disappears and reappears constantly throughout the show. Man this show and it’s love of eyeliner. The eyeliner that few women wear outside of like...Mai. I’ve never seen such devotion to guyliner in my life.

Anyways, then they had the biggest twist so far in all of Yugioh.

Her eyes will cost as much as an entire house by the time she gets this surgery. Anyways, across the hall and in the other room, Duke is showing off his weird dice tricks to a bunch of girls who have extremely low standards. Because when I was in school, the boys fidgeting with dice and cubes and lighters or whatever were actually pretty damn annoying.

Also dice were illegal at my school but my school had a huge gambling problem since like Elementary school, starting at when Pogs were outlawed. Pogs. I was in like 2nd grade, with my fistful of holographic Garfield Pogs and my teachers were like “absolutely not, those Pogs will send you straight to drugs” and I was very, very confused.

Duke, overhearing Joey talk big about his incredible dueling skills, sees an opportunity to get Yugi to fight him. I guess he assumed that Yugi wouldn’t duel him for any other reason, although I’m pretty sure he could have been all “want to duel sometime?” and Yugi would have answered “ABSOLUTELY, LETS GO TO THE ROOF AT MIDNIGHT, SHIRTLESS, DURING A THUNDERSTORM.”

(the liner got shy here, but came back later)

And like he goes off about this dice but does he actually duel with dice this episode? If he did, I did not catch it as I was scrubbing through the duels. I’m pretty sure he didn’t. Not totally positive.

But bro mentioned that Duke was the mascot for a game that exists IRL that they were trying to sell--and I looked it up, it’s called Dungeon Dice Monsters and it looks so freakin complicated and unfun. Apparently it did not sell well, although they planned all these characters and expansions for it. Also, weirdly it came out in 1996 which means this guy is from Season Zero so...I guess I’ll be watching that later.

Nowadays these pieces of this failed game with 10000 pieces sells for a pretty penny on Ebay, but youknow that’s assuming anyone on Ebay is buying?

But, if you have table top simulator on Steam, some saint has added this game as a mod so you can like...play it for the price of table top simulator instead of spending like 800 dollars. That’s nice. I’m not going to play it myself, but that’s nice.

It was also converted into a complicated GBA game, which is probably more of the reason that he’s in this version of the show--since GBA was around the same time as Yugioh, although I could be wrong.

But, back to the show, Duke decides to do some magic because he has no idea who he goes to school with. This was extremely dangerous and stupid and he didn’t even know.

And Yugi just complete loses his mind for like a few seconds. Which makes you think great, everyone in this room is going to die, because this is Yugioh, and that is a thing that can surely happen. But then...

I feel like this is the point where most people would have been like “eff this” and just turned around, since both Yugi and Joey were in an actual tourney and shouldn’t waste their time but Joey really hates this guy for no reason other than being popular. Joey just has so much rage for people he’s never met before--like really, he’s absolutely terrible at making friends which blows my mind since his best friend is the friendliest person who exists in this show.

So I’m throwing the word draft out there because that’s something card people are familiar with but for those that don’t know, drafts are pretty normal. It’s a randomized deck, so there is the possibility you can get super screwed over in a draft. You can get a whole bunch of like whatever the Yugioh version of that Goldfish from Pokemon is and well, that’s just your deck now. You don’t put a lot of high risk stakes on drafts. They’re just for kicks.

But Joey thinks he’s immortal because he survived that island, so like sure, why not? Lets get rid of the only deck advantage we have and trust this guy, who has done nothing but trick people since we walked into the room.

Damn, Joey! That escalated quickly!

Then, a reallllly weird thing happens that made me super uncomfortable--Yugi changed his clothes. I don’t like this palate swap.

This whole time. That whole time on the island--he had normal clothes.

ooof I owned this outfit in middle school. Exactly this outfit. I had a phase--I call it “gray goth” where I got helllllla emo and only wore gray and jeans for 2 years. The 00′s were a time. We were all very chilly and needed at least two insufficient layers on at all times.

So they draft, but they do it wrong. I mean I guess there’s no “wrong” way but the way I’ve seen it, you selectively make your deck from the cards on the table you don’t just shove every card in there without a strategy. This whole duel is just kinda weird. Not like I really talk about cards at all on here but like...this seems like just the worst way to play draft.

So, because there’s absolutely no way you can possibly have a good time playing this version of the game, Joey struggles.

And then we get a celebrity cameo.

I will never catch another one. I was a one console family and we chose Nintendo. But, I do know my Gradius because this game was on every console ever made and basically resold over and over again up until Konami became a pachinko company.

And so we have a return to dog outfit. Because Joey can’t get away from this weird type of torture. Did Duke Devlin get a tip from Kaiba about Things Joey Wheeler Hates or did two completely different bullies come up with this dog obsession all on their own?

Why is Joey being destroyed by dice? Joey beat up like 12 people in a warehouse once. Anyway, Duke decides to throw dice at Joey and humiliate him into goading Pharaoh into a duel. Again, why would it take this much to goad on Yugi? He freakin loves dueling.

And so, in order to save Joey’s dignity, Pharaoh shows up and is pissed. Back on the island there was like life and death reasons to be pissed--just a while ago, Pharaoh saw Joey and Mai die in front of him and got rightfully upset, but apparently Joey dressing like a dog is like equal in terms of getting this guy super indignant.

Like I’m not sure if Pharaoh realizes that this dog servitude is only as long as it takes for Duke to get bored, which will be about five minutes. Or maybe Pharaoh slept through the fact that Joey brought this on himself entirely by himself and ignored every single time his friends were like “Joey please walk away it’s not worth it.” But like consequences shmonsequences.

This could solve so many of Yugi’s problems if he’d just lose this game. I just feel like carrying around this title doesn’t really do much for your income and yet everyone keeps trying to duel you all the time when honestly, should have probably been just attending class.

Tristan and Tea seem to realize that uh, Pharaoh freaking the hell out is the last thing they need on national TV but I mean, Joey’s a dog so he’s gotta do it. Pharaoh can’t really step down from a fight, no matter how stupid it is, and maybe that’s where Joey got it from.

Or Pharaoh could have just covered Joey this week and caught all of those dice. After a while even Duke Devlin would run out of dice. And it’s not like it said anywhere everyone else can’t beat Duke up because Duke has lost his mind. I just really feel like they should have a way out of this that isn’t boys being proud boys and gambling your dignity left and right but whatever. We gotta sell toys.

Anyway, next week, on Yugioh

Will I even have content to cover? Will Joey have to wear two dog suits --a dog within a dog-- as punishment? Will they just give up and kick this guy’s ass on national TV?

𝖈𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖎𝖙 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙 ; ★ drabble

and the record won’t stop skipping  and the lies just won’t stop slipping  and besides, my reputation’s on the line.

★ —             the clock on the wall ticks; a metronome, pacing the droning seconds he’s been staring at the envelope on his dark-wood coffee table. the parchment — a more coarse, natural texture  — has a black, scorched corner and a constellation of brown coffee drips. it’s closed with a wax seal, a bronze stamp, an embossed B. all of these minuscule details undoubtedly point to bailey.  — the en-gin-eer couldn’t use his fancy tech-nol-ogy to send a damn text? daiki wonders, checking his cellphone again. it’s out-dated, but does seem to be the safest way for him to get in touch with those he’s not supposed to. ex-communicated doesn’t mean dead. the living can’t be ghosts. akura needs to get a clue or two.

daiki doesn’t want to open the letter. whether in fear or the fact he’s grown tired of his father’s bullshit, daiki can’t get himself to tear into the envelope. but, he doesn’t want to just ignore it. what’s the biker to do when he’s at such a loss? 

“ bonjour, baby brother ! ” yusa doesn’t knock before entering the goldenrod city apartment. daiki jumps, eyes wide as he watches the door swing open, and his sister strut inside. her movement always looks scripted, yet poise. she conducts these movements and mannerisms like there are hidden, glass lenses ready to capture her at any, unsuspected time. yusa kanemoto  —  pop music sensation, model phenomenon, entertainer of the world — plays the part of herself so well, she makes you wonder how much of it is all an act. the twins haven’t seen each other since she bailed on him in castelia city, over a year ago, and daiki can still see right through her. 

daiki has his father’s eyes, his temper, and a grudge to settle. yusa carries a spotlight everywhere she goes, a purple sheen to her eyes, reminiscent of their mother, who always has her cheek turned the other way. double helix, genes, and a color story  — a face so similar, yet so distant. they’re the same, but opposed. their lives diverged when they were barely teenagers, and have never been as different as they are now. perhaps, the letter on his coffee table will bring them back together. 

yusa waves away the smoke and smell from daiki’s cigarette, just lit. cigarette butts threaten to overflow the ashtray on the table, and ash seems to be everywhere but inside of it. there’s a mirror and a rolled dollar bill, a collection of coffee mugs. some are half-empty with black brew from last night’s caffeine binge. he couldn’t sleep with the intruding thoughts of bailey. “ jeez, you could’ve cleaned up a bit . ” at least she understands the faint stench of motor oil. 

daiki rolls his eyes. “ my bad, princess . ” he watches his sister’s eyes scale the living room, and how her lips purse and curl with judgement. it’s to be expected, but that doesn’t ease the bite of it.  “ what happened to your tv ? ” yusa frowns at the hole and spiderweb cracks in the screen, at money wasted.  “ it’s fucked . ” “ i can see that . ”

daiki takes a drag of his cigarette. “ nice to see you again, yusa. i’m sure ev-ery-thing is just dapper on the home front. tell me, sister, how’s mother ? ”

a scoff cradles in yusa’s throat at her brother’s attitude and acquired faux eloquence. she lacks an answer. yusa places her hands on her hips. “ what’s the go? you never call me. ” she makes her way to the kitchen. her heels click against the hardwood floors. he hears her scoff again, this time, it’s at the coffee-stained mugs and dirty plates filling the kitchen sink. “ my agent said you sounded . . . urgent . ” then, he hears the fridge open. there’s a pause before she calls out, disappointed. “ jeez, daiki! when was the last time you got a couple groceries? you got anything besides shit beer and old pizza ? ”

“ i’ve been busy , ” daiki replies, sucking on his cigarette. he flicks ash onto the floor. “ water’s on tap . ” arceus, he can just hear the disgust contorting her face. the people of johto don’t indulge in material things like that fancy hoenn-imported water yusa shoots commercials for.

he picks up the conversation where they left off. “ the go is that i got a letter . ”

“ so, someone hasn’t gotten the memo on texting, and the postal service is doing their job. is that why you called me ? ” yusa returns with a glass of water. she keeps inspecting it, trying to find a flaw. “ don’t waste my time, daiki . ” yusa’s always on a tight schedule. she keeps eyeing the screen of her xtransceiver. 

daiki inhales. “ it’s from bailey . ” yusa lifts her gaze, pink brows shooting up passed her bangs. “ bailey ? ” her tone says she doesn’t believe him. maybe, she doesn’t want to.  “ w-what does this mean ? ” daiki’s eyes beg for his sister’s help, like old times. why couldn’t they stay kids forever? if only aging was the reason they split so far apart. 

“ it means we should leave it alone, daiki. not our problem. need i remind you? technically, he doesn’t have a single drop of kanemoto blood . ” yusa has to remind him of most things: where he left his bike keys and how they’re the same age. born only eight minutes prior, but so used to playing the role of big sister, getting him out of the same trouble she got him into, picking him up, and cleaning up his messes. red and white messes  — blood and drugs and big, red R’s and wanted posters. and it’s those eight minutes she takes seriously. yusa sips from her glass, coughs, and gags. “ this tastes like metal . ”

daiki fidgets on the couch cushion, holding his cigarette near his lips, but not smoking it. “ w-what if he’s in trouble? he prac-tic-ally raised us, yusa . ”

yusa sighs, bends her neck back to groan at the stuco ceiling. “ look, daiki. sure, i miss him sometimes, but uncle bailey’s involvement with team rocket was his choice. just like it was your choice. if he didn’t want to impress daddy so badly, he’d still be in nimbasa, living it up off dad’s desert resort money, but he’s not. he got fried, and he always had a few screws loose. and now he’s  — arceus knows where . ” 

it’s a lie, the kind that makes her sound brainwashed. it’s so absurd. — that’s not what happ-ened on that trip to vir-i-di-an city. daiki huffs on the filter of his cigarette. his brows knit, lip threatening to curl. raw anger erupts inside of him and he can’t think straight enough to form the words to defend himself, to tear her a new one. akura used bailey as collateral. bailey was a promise to project team rocket’s plans further, to keep peace. what is yusa so bitter about? with a stupid amount of money and rides in black limousines to every gig, her face plastered all across the regions, who cares about the past? who cares, who cares, who cares. 

 “ a-and what about that burning? you don’t think that seems a little su-spic-ious? why would gi-o-vann-i want to de-stroy rocket’s own ma-chine ? ” 

yusa barks back, frantic and loud. when it comes to protecting their father, she always cracks. “ to trash the evidence? i don’t know, daiki! why would dad ? ” she throws her hands up. it’s no use arguing when it comes to her hard-headed twin. her talent for shutting him up is getting rusty. 

daiki averts his eyes, huffs. that’s not the case. rocket seemed pretty proud of themselves for what they accomplished in kanto. 

tension hangs above their heads, stagnant and thick. slouching into the cushion, daiki takes a long drag. he sighs out the smoke, and flicks the ashes in yusa’s direction. he knows akura had a hand in the disaster at the pokemon mansion, at the flames that engulfed his adopted brother, and left his skin forever charred. akura will pay  — an arm and a leg  — for what he’s done. not in the same sense that his brother had. how unfortunate. but, daiki doesn’t answer yusa’s question because he has no proof other than his intuition.  

“ jeez! why the hell are you trying to blame dad for everything? arceus, what is your deal, bolts-for-brains? it’s not his fault you can’t keep your nose out of shit . ” yusa gestures to the paraphernalia on the table. to the patch on his jumpsuit. to the red inked R. to him. he’s never been good enough for the rest of the kanemoto family. he’s always been the big, bad wolf, a threat. he’s a heart attack, a car crash. daiki: such a disaster, no one can look away from. 

yusa’s still yelling, “ literally. is that what this is about? are you on some sort of bender right now? daiki, do you need help ? ” she stalks closer to the couch with each accusation. daiki presses himself into the polyester, wishing he could sink right into it and disappear. she sounds how beer salt tastes, and the venom in his sister’s words zaps the corners of his jaw. 

she really doesn’t get it. daiki wonders, what’s the point in forcing herself to be so blind? daiki flicks his dead cigarette across the room. 

yusa’s leaning over him now, pointing her manicured finger right between daiki’s brows. anxiety and dissociation muffle her ever-rising volume. “ what? do you want money, daiki? i’ll play you whatever the hell you want if you’ll stop putting the blame on everyone else but yourself . ”

the biker folds his arms, glaring at his sister’s fingertip. he sneers with a bout of confidence, “ not even you have enough money to buy my o-be-di-ence, yusa . ”

yusa jerks back, as if daiki spontaneously combusted before her eyes. and his jab at her wealth inflicts more damage to her ego than his blatant rebellion. “ that’s it , ” yusa’s voice drops so low, he barely hears her. “ you made me do this . ” she snatches the letter from the table, and gets to work punching buttons on her xtransceiver. 

daiki jumps from the couch. “ what the hell are you doing ? ” he attempts to swipe the envelope from her hand, but instead, smacks the glass of water onto the floor. it shatters on impact. and daiki figures, it’s symbolic, somehow. yusa bares her teeth, amethyst eyes boring holes into him. she erupts, “ what the hell is wrong with you, bolts-for-brains? going to attack your own sister? you’ve really lost it, haven’t you? i’m calling my agent! and i’m getting you a plane ticket to mistralton city ! ”

daiki stares at the shards of glass when he asks, “ what bus-i-ness do i have in unova ? ” “ you’re coming home, daiki . ” 

daiki’s mouth fills to his gums with objection. unfortunately, it isn’t up for debate right now. “ i’m sure there’s a rehab we can shove you into. whatever it takes to keep you under control.  i’m outta here . ” yusa still has the letter in her hand, and daiki winces when the paper wrinkles from the tightness of her grip. she doesn’t look him in the eyes when she speaks, but presses her finger into the breast pocket of his jumpsuit, letting him know who exactly is in control. “ i plan on seeing you in mistralton promptly. oh, and do me a favor, brother? at least try to stay out of trouble, daiki. i’m so over cleaning up after you. that’s what maids are for . ”

I wrote a radio drama for class

The Script is in the a read more Its called Excuses, and isnt in the right format but its there, this was actually really fun to do. 

Excuses

By:Meghan Murphy

SCENE 1.

Opens with dramatic music, mimicking a hero's monologue

CHARACTER 1: My name is Mari Nara. Im short and out of shape, more often than not it looks like I just rolled out of bed. My mother says that I’m the smartest in my family, and I guess my grades from school reflect that in a way, but if i’m truly as smart as my mother says I am, then why am I sitting across from one of the most wanted men in the world.

Scene 2

Music shift to more homely noises and a radio in the background

CHARACTER 2: What are you writing a young adults novel as an excuse to get out of class? 1) that’s not your name and 2) Your teacher will see through your bullshit in a second.

CHARACTER 1: Maybe so but at least they would get a strong female character and a dramatic parallel to a dystopia compared our nation's current state in the process.

CHARACTER 3: And you still get marked as late.

CHARACTER 1: (sigh) Fine what would you say.

CHARACTER 2: Oo Say you fought a bear but add more pizazz . Like, Its was a dark and dreary night when you found yourself alone in the woods.

CH 1: Why would I-

Forest noises, with footsteps and rain as the radio music almost fades out completely    

CH 2: No interrupting. Alone in the woods when the heavens opened up above. As the rain poured down above you crashing upon every leaf on its way to the ground you looked around for a shelter. Having watched enough youtube tutorials you were of course prepared.

CH 1: More credit than I deserve but thank you.

CH 2: Knowing how to build a shelter with your bare hands you go to work looking for the proper sticks.

CH 1: What are we getting a play by play?

CH 2: You’re subtly teaching your teacher during the story how to build a proper wilderness shelter so your excuse is more practical and educational than the class would have been.

CH 3: Ok but can we get back to the forest Im dying to know how Megivver here makes a shelter.

CH 2: That's the thing as she was on her search for the perfect branch she stumbles upon a cave. Knowing that her chances are greater with less energy spent she decides to venture farther into the cavern for optimal living area.

CH 3: Naturally.

CH 2: So, as she ventures farther it gets darker and darker.

CH 3: Ah yes totally out of the ordinary for a natural cave, where is the room service and indoor lighting .

CH 2: Smartass, But our valiant Meg she didn't bring a light source with her, forced to feel around for the wall of the cavern.  Dark and damp, or well that's what she expected the wall to be. What she didn’t expect was a soft and warm mass to touch her hand.

CH1: Im guessing thats the bear.

CH3: No spoilers

CH2: It was (pause) a bear.

A roar and music gets intense

CH3: (Gasp)

CH2: As the bear acknowledges the new touch it arises from its slumber, turns around, and swings.  

Music picks up with a suspense song

CH2: Blows are being traded and both you and the bear are in what seems to resemble a bar fight.

Fighting sounds and bear roars continually

CH1: Yeah cuz both I and the bear know how to bar brawl

CH2: The secret life of bears man who knows. As you and the bear fight it seems as though our hero is coming out on top, and with one final blow the bear is down. Sleeping once more.

CH3: No bears were harmed in the making of this excuse.

CH2: I mean the bears pride maybe. Any way you have done it it seems as though the cave is yours.

Bear fight effects stop and music dies down

CH1: That seems too easy.

CH2: That is. . .

CH1: There it is.

CH2: Until another bear appears out of the darkness of the cave. Its mamma bear and this time she’s pissed. You just beat up her kid and she’s ready to fight.

Bear fight effects come back

CH3: OOOO I don't think Meg can take the momma bear.

CH2: Neither does she. That coward clearly being able to forsee the outcome of the match turns and begins to run out of the cave. That’s when. . .

Footsteps added

CH1: Oh god what now?

CH2: That’s when the momma bear pulls out a flare gun

CH3: That’s one hardcore bear.

CH1: And impossible but go on

CH2: The takes the flare gun and aims it in the direction of \

CH2(cont): her cubs assailant, and she fires. She fires as many shots as she can and Meg the hero that she is does her best to dodge every-single-one. She manages to dodge most but one catches her. And that's why she has a scar on her thumb. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

Fade back to radio

CH1: There are so many things wrong with this story,

CH3: Name one thing

CH1: The fact of a bear had a flare gun or what about the fact of this wasn't about explaining the scar on my thumb, I got from cooking I’ll just add, but how will this get me out of class.

CH2: I don't know about you but I wouldn't mess with anyone who I know fought a bear

CH3: Yeah your not thinking about it the right way, but I still see your point. What if you tell the teacher that the dog ate your ability to get out of bed early in the morning.

CH1: that would probably work better than the bear story

CH2: It was gold and you’re just too much of a coward too see it.

CH3: Ok ok ok I have the perfect excuse for you. How about you tell her that you got kidnapped.

Scene 3

CH2: On a dark and dreary night

Action music begins

CH3: Oh god no no no, So this is what you tell her. That you      

CH3(cont): Were walking down the street after class yesterday, when some random person comes up to you wanting you to buy drugs off them. But you told them no cuz your a good christian girl.

CH1: ah yes as the jesus told me say i'm too broke to have fun habits so why would I want those kinds of habits, to drugs. And more importantly why is a drug dealer kidnapping me because I didn't buy from them?

CH3: I wasn't finished. So you say no cuz your boring, and then next thing you know there is a bag over your head and you’re being pulled into a van.

CH2: hope you only tipped your uber a dollar.

CH1: Hope they didnt drop my purse, that where I keep my pokemon cards.

CH3: You’re getting theoretically kidnapped and your worried about your Charizard

CH1: Limited edition one yeah

CH3: Anyway , your kidnappers take special care as to not bend your mint edition Charizard holo card

CH1: Now this story is realistic

CH3: And they put a bag over your head and knock you out.

Thud

Ch2: What was it like to have the best sleep of your life be because you were being kidnapped.

CH1: Yeah I’m jealous of this “me” in your story. Can I get that kind of sleep.

CH3: So your in the back of their van. Totally knocked out when a bump in the road wakes you up.

Ch2: is that even possible?

CH3: In this story it is so shush. When you awaken you start to struggle hoping to get out of the bondage the they have trapped you in. As you struggle the driver seemed to be obvious to the fact that you woke up.  

CH1: If i'm not becoming an action hero in this one I feel lied too.

CH3: Hero is a relative term, lets just say that the van ended up at the bottom of the ocean.

CH2: The nearest one is over one hundred miles away. How.

Car effects

CH3: And you and you Charizard card rode off into the sunset to live happily ever after.

CH1: And that's why I didn't go to class???

CH3: Fine ok how about you try to come up with an excuse if your gonna be so picky about it.

CH1: Maybe I will.

CH2: This is going to be the worst story ever.

Scene 4

Presidential music and an eagle in the background

CH1: It all started when the president of the United States

CH2: (disgust) ew

CH1: When he make the first good decision in his life and decided to name me President.

CH3: How Democratic of him, so your our president why does that mean you get out of class??

Ch1: Normally it wouldn’t, If I haven't used my new found power of being the President Of the United States to say the The President doesn't have to go to school.

Ch3: Smart

Ch2: Tactical I like it

Ch3: But can you make it so the president friends don't have to go to class either?

Ch1: (hisses through teeth) OOoo sorry now that I’m President I have to start taking things seriously, and making a law just for my friends would be selfish and not very presidential like. So sorry but I can’t.

CH2: Wow not even a full hour and she’s already forgotten where she came from

Ch3: I will say that she seems to have a stronger moral compass then the current Prez.

Ch1: So I can count on you for reelection right?

CH3: You got my Vote

CH2: I’m gonna need a little more lobbying for you to sway me.

Music fades back out to radio

CH3: Ok I have it the ultimate end all. Crazy idea here so don't just shoot me down immediately

CH1: (sigh) Your gonna tell me tpo just got to class aren't ya.  

CH3: absolutely.

CH2: buzzkill, but she’s right

CH1: I know, I just don't wanna say it.

CH3: Go learn things ya nerd.

End

do the even numbers for the vg ask binch

BINCH

Video Game Asks!

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.answered!

4. Who do you play with now?Who? Like my friends? Mostly the same people I played with when I was a kid, but now they’ve grown up into ripe gaming fruits. And some new friends who I met through love of video games  *stares directly into camera*

6. Ever buy strategy guides?No. I’d rather spend money on the game itself. I see the pretty art books often and wonder though…

8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?uH. What? Rarest? I don’t have any of those classic games that are worth a fortune now. Most expensive was probably the Dishonored 2 bundle that I bought because I wanted Corvo’s mask super bad

10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?

I have not! I usually pre-order using the internet and try to distract myself until I can feel the game with my fingers

12. Ever get picked on for liking games?Wheeeen I was younger, yes. I stopped playing for a little while, even though I was not any good at the time anyway. I didn’t pick it back up again until the middle of high school when I stopped caring.

14. Favorite game music?I… really like the Journey and Undertale Soundtrack. However, Kingdom Hearts and Nier: a tomato have been my… main music go-tos .In fact, I’m listening to the Nier ost right now.

16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?Answered!

18. Would you date someone that hates gaming?No. Bitch. Worst-case scenario they “tolerate” it. Just kidding, NO that’s impossible. Worst case is they’re indifferent. And in that case, they’d have to be pretty darn spectacular. Like they own Disneyland spectacular. Trust me. 

20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?BIOSHOCK. I can tell you where every audio diary is. And every ridiculous jump scare. I also could say the same about Nier, but that’s a little too recent, so the obsession is still fresh.

22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?I have a Fallout t-shirt, Kingdom Hearts Sweater, some lovely Nier pins, and a 2B phone charm accessory. I love game merch, I just am a bit picky on which ones I wear.

24. First Pokemon game?It was actually Yellow. I never got Red and/or Blue.

26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?I don’t like those, but literally Pokemon Go sets them up by making you pick teams and publicly fight the other teams down.

28. Ever play in a tournament?nOpe I’m not that good. I watch a lot of tournaments though.

30. How many consoles do you own?Uhh, since forever? I would say 8. However, the only active ones right now are my ps4 and Switch. Everything else is stored away in the closet or was given away.

32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?Not. Really. No. I don’t really love those. One time I got Narnia as a gift and cried at how bad it was. And then there was Shrek Party?? Which was a depressing version of Mario party, but with Shrek characters. I liked it… actually. If it were done well, maybe?  

34. Do either of your parents play video games?My mother plays pokemon go and is level 40, which is higher than me. And it’s kind of made her more open to the idea of playing video games. But my mom knows the basics of certain video games enough to not get mad at me when I tell her I can’t pause. 

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?I have cried over a few video games. Not full on crying, but my eyes will water and that’s pretty wild. Sweat is all over my controllers. I clutch them so hard. I was also very emotionally compromised over The Last of Us, but it was mostly internal.

oHH! One time I was playing Battleborn and got a nosebleed, but I’m pretty sure that was on account of the weather and not the game. 

38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?I have no shame at all whatsoever in any game that I like. I guess Fable, 2 and 3 were absolutely awful according to everyone, but I thought they were alright, mostly because it made me think of the first game.

40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?I think they’re fun! But am sad that they probably won’t be able to reach their full potential in my house.

42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?…Bioshock tbh. That was the first game I legitimately played after stopping gaming for an awfully long time. The one that started it all. Kingdom Hearts and Bioshock. Two completely different games. 

44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?I never really played arcade games? Soul Calibur? DDR??

46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?YES THOSE ARE LIKE MY FAVORITE TYPES OF GAMES!!??!? I can seduce Harvest Moon characters all the ding dang day. And I can fish for hours. Fishing mechanics are vital in every game. 

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?84 years. In all honestly, it can take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour depending on the options that are available. Dragon Age took so… so long. Basically any game with the objective of making your character look cooler is… dEATH

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?Answered!

52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?Pokemon Y

54. Do you give in to Steam sales?I use my friend’s steam and he has like 2000 dollars worth of games, so I’d say he definitely does.

56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?I never played that game, but I remember quality video compilations of that.

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?Answered!

60. Do you know the Konami Code?It’s like a bunch of directional buttons, but idk which ones.

62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?I bought a gosh darn PS3 like 10 years ago because I thought KH3 was going to come out for that. Now here with are the PS4 pro and KH3 will be out in a year.

64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?I have! Or I mean it was a family TV anyways, but I sneakily snuck in a question or two about gaming quality and the guy hooked me up.

66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?No. I didn’t have a legit cellphone until after high school.

68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?LOL no I’m so bad at those, I spend all my tickets immediately on the dumbest thing I can find like those finger traps.

70. Very first game you ever beat? I want to say Fable. As a kid I didn’t know what a memory card was and sort of assumed you had to start over every single time.

Shitblast about the Pokemon Presentation incoming:

That sucked the life out of me to be totally, un-exaggeratedly honest. It sucked pretty much any care I could have about Pokemon for a good couple of years at least. The downward slant of the franchise is just ridiculously obvious, and genuinely I don’t think I want to buy into the series anymore -- I’ve gotten burned enough times to not even try and get hyped for anything as ugly as the DP remakes or Legends.

Before I even get into the games they talked about, I just want to rag on that opening video thing. The huge montage of all the different things the pokemon franchise has, uh, infected I guess. Am I the only one that was really, really put-off by this? It just seemed like such a huge ass pat for themselves, like, “woo-hoo, look at our millions of dollars we spent on NOT the video games.” And it’s not even structured in some kind of catchy song, it’s just people chanting out hashtags that pop up on screen. It’s so cheaply made and they do shit like this pretty much every fucking year, I’m sorry but I just found this whole thing to be a waste of time. It didn’t get me hyped for anything to come, that’s for sure, it just reminded me that I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting for Pokemon to actually progress itself and catch up with a modern market.

Pokemon Snap was the only cool thing from the presentation, and that’s a game we’ve already known about and is honestly too simple to fail. They would have to REALLY fuck up a game as straightforward as Snap. And this presentation didn’t bring any exciting new light to the game, just confirming that yes, yes you will indeed be taking pictures of pokemon, and then sharing those pictures with friends. Everything they’ve talked about is just the natural modernizations I’d expect from any game claiming to be about photography and made in 2021. The most exciting thing they could show off was the illumination item thing, which is just sorta, okay I guess.

The DP remake was disheartening. I honestly wish they didn’t even bother, and just ported the game as-it-was to the Switch.

I hate these graphics. And no, no it’s not some “style.” This isn’t a stylistic choice, this isn’t a “theme,” whatever this toddler’s toy aesthetic is supposed to be. It isn’t. It’s a budget constraint -- it’s a compromise. And I honestly hate that people are trying to defend it as some sort of art style, when I know 100% they would never defend another game like this nearly as hard. They would look at ANY game with graphics this shit and call it out.

There’s this excuse that it’s an art style theme, akin to Link’s Awakening remake on the Switch. Except, did people forget that Link’s Awakening actually looked good? Because it was actually designed to look like everything was a miniature. They used proper shading and texturing to sell that aesthetic, to make it look pleasing to the eye. Link’s Awakening is proud of its graphics and it does as much as it can visually to lean on that aesthetic. These DP remakes? There’s no heart put into this “art direction” at all. The textures are all plastic and flat and even downright muddy -- compare any screenshot of the remake to an original location and you’ll see how awful the colors are now, and how vague some of the models are after having been transformed from sprites. There’s no intent at all from the devs to actually include the polish necessary to make this style work -- it’s not an art style decision, it’s a budget constraint. They chose this design for the game because it would be easy to make, even easier to animate, and they could then justify slapping both of these games with $60 price tags. And yeah I get it -- “we don’t know how much these games are going to be!” -- no we do, it’s going to be fucking $60 like anything else released on the Switch, but if you seriously think this is worth $50 or even $40, then whatever, spend your damn money.

And yeah I am bitter that this is against precedent of the previous remakes. Every other remake before this had the time taken to update the graphics and direction to modern standards, and every remake was better because of it. It was refreshing to revisit these older worlds with modern sensibilities and an updated perspective -- the whole appeal of updating these older games is to give them the love and depth that technology at the time wouldn’t allow. At least that’s the appeal for me, I guess there’s a LOT of people out there whose appeal to Pokemon as a franchise is just buying whatever fucking comes out next and just mashing that A button into a state of satisfaction. This bums me out so bad that instead of getting something with passion and care, we get the absolute cheapest output; a remake that doesn’t promise anything new or exciting, burdened with absolute shit graphics.

And again, this style just sucks. It isn’t cute lol. I guess some people are gonna be into it, that’s fine I guess, but wow I don’t believe a single person that claims “this is what I imagined DP to be like.” No you didn’t, fuck the shut up? You’re really going to tell me that, in your most immersed state of playing this game, you imagined everything to be these fucking toddler toys? Okay you’re just on your own for that one -- I and every other normal human did not think of the DP world as some chibi fantasyland full of lego people. I hate that this is even excused as being some sort of “hark back” to the older art style -- the older art style wasn’t toy-themed or plastic-themed! What the fuck are people trying to pull here? It’s such a shame that DP had amazing sprite work and a wonderful world and an enticing story, but its remake is just going to underplay all of that, abandon it all just so it can have some gimmicky art style -- at best it’s a gimmicky art style riding the coattails of Link’s Awakening, and at worst it’s a budget cut done to make the game as cheap as possible to shit out.

I’m so disappointed in this. I was really looking forward to experiencing DP as a remake, I’ve never played this generation before. I wanted to play the remakes because I didn’t want to adapt to the older logic of the games, and I wanted to be able to bring in my own pokemon, have my own adventure. I wanted another experience like ORAS or HGSS. I didn’t want to go through the work of trying to play the original in a reasonable way. But since this is the direction of the remake, to make it look cheap as hell and totally heartless, then I’m just forced to play the original, and that sucks on a lot of layers.

And then Legends of Arceus or whatever.

Look. I want to like this game. And realistically I do like the idea of this game. But just like the DP remake, it looks like it’s the absolute cheapest response to what fans have been asking for, and it looks like it just wants to ride off the success of another, better franchise. I’ll make a wish now that I hope this game proves to be so much better than it looks in this presentation.

But wow, wow. I don’t think that’s going to happen. This looks like full-on garbage.

I wanted a BotW-like Pokemon game ever since, well, BotW. I think an open-world format would do wonders for the Pokemon formula, and SwSh had potential with its Wild Areas. But again, all the cheapest choices have been made. This game reeks of developers being told that fans want a BotW-styled Pokemon game, and then responding by just inserting pokemon assets into a beta test world of BotW. They didn’t show anything that looked promising for Pokemon gameplay, they just showed elements that are enough to convince an audience, “trust us, this is an open-world, with open-world mechanics -- like stealth! Rolling into bushes! Isn’t that cool? Isn’t this how you want to catch pokemon?”

It’s heartless. The developers clearly don’t care about making an open-world pokemon game; they’re interested in making pokemon an open-world game, the difference being that they don’t care about actually organically mixing the two. It’s just going to be a slop of open-world mechanics, set in an open-world that has no reason to be explored and is ugly as sin to look at, with mechanics designed to slow you down and fill in that 40-60 hour expectation. And I say this with as much confidence as I do because if they did have anything interesting to mention about Legends, they would have fucking said it -- they would have highlighted where pokemon gameplay intercepts open-world gameplay in a meaningful way, they would have brought attention to new mechanics that could only work in an open-world pokemon game.

They didn’t. They showed off a player character rolling into some bushes, and manually throwing a pokeball.

And that’s just the gameplay. Can’t we all agree this game is visual vomit? Just utterly fucking terrible to look at? There are literally fangames with SUCH better graphics. And there’s no excuse here like “oh it doesn’t LOOK like shit, looking-like-shit is its aesthetic!” No it just looks terrible on every level. The textures are so fucking muddy and stretched. The terrain is cobbled together and without inspiration; flat fields, angular hills, and randomly placed trees and bushes, all of which are rendered so badly that you can always see how 2D they are. The player models are uncomfortably stiff and expressionless. And the pokemon? The fucking pokemon?

Why do the pokemon look so fucking ugly? What’s the goddamn excuse? We see pokemon in the overworld, moving around and prancing about -- and they’re animated at like ten frames per second. That’s being generous! These pokemon look like they had three frames of animation to swap between! What the fuck is this?! Sword and Shield have overworld pokemon running around, and those didn’t need significant frame cuts! So how the hell did they manage to stumble so far backwards?! Why is this even a fucking challenge...?!?! Why do I have to be gaslit to believe that video games can’t do more than this? There are so many games doing so much, so much fucking more in even just one second of gameplay. So many games with intense graphics, explosive effects, tons of enemies and players on-screen, all this happening at once... sometimes online... and yet Pokemon still can’t even animate a fucking monkey dancing around in an empty field. What the fuck is the excuse here? How can they honestly show off this gameplay footage and feel proud of their work, without at least saying something like, “This is early-as-fuck test footage of the game, this is like one week into development, this is why it looks so ugly and unpolished.”

You know those throwaway junk games on Steam? That sell for like three or five dollars, and it’s just a really terrible FPS set in a generic wasteland environment? Yeah THOSE games look ten times better than this shit. There are so many pokemon fangames that exist that do this exact concept but DON’T look like utter garbage on the eyes at the same time. It’s baffling -- why is it so difficult for them to not make an ugly-as-sin game? Why does it have to be this way? How can the Switch host a game like BotW or Mario Odyssey but it can’t fucking handle Pokemon?

And this idea doesn’t even sound fun, the concept of being in the “ancient past” of the Sinnoh region just isn’t what I wanted. When I wanted an open-world Pokemon game, I expected it to be... you know, pokemon! I expected gyms or some kind of equivalent, I imagined it having modern sensibilities... But instead it’s this really gimmicky concept, because I guess the devs can’t possibly imagine the normal pokemon world even possibly engaging with something new and different -- no, we have to go to effectively a whole other planet just to let players have pokemon in an open world.

Ultimately these games are fucking disgusting to look at and it’s so disappointing to see them in this state. The DP remakes chose a cheap art style not because they thought it complemented Sinnoh or its story, but because it was the bare minimum to making the game and justifying a $60 price tag. Legends of Arceus has potential, but it’s showing right off the bat that it doesn’t have the manpower or passion behind it to actually live up to it, making it just another cash grab that relies on chasing the coattails of a more successful franchise. And both seem like insulting cheap answers to the two things die-hard pokemon fans have been asking for, making this situation all the worse.

The Pokemon Company doesn’t care, and neither do I anymore. I genuinely don’t see myself playing another pokemon game. It’s so sad because these games are full of potential, and a long-term commitment is obviously one of its appeals. But if this is the direction of the franchise, then fuck me. I don’t want to support ugly-as-hell spinoffs that exist only to shut up the fanbase, I hate how Sword and Shield came out and I hated how scummy the DLC was to add onto it. This series is blatantly trying to rob players by producing as absolute little as possible, they want to make money out of nothing, and I’m not coughing up that money anymore. This is ridiculous. Sword and Shield being so disappointing was one thing... the DLC being cashgrabs for material that should’ve just been post-game content was mind-numbing... but these two games looking like total garbage is on another level. It’s beyond disappointing; it’s insulting that they would even bother making these games with as little heart as they are, so clearly and obviously making games that they know players will shell out cash for regardless of its quality.

I hope the fanbase really matures and wisens up to this because that’s why we’re in this mess. You’re allowed to enjoy this “art style” of the DP remakes, you’re allowed to be hyped for the new gameplay of Legends... but please, for the love of god, have some higher standards than this. Please look at what other game companies can do with their games, and how much they charge, and how much fulfillment and content is in those games. We need to expect more from the literal most-profitable franchise of all time -- they have the resources, they have the capabilities, they choose to be lazy so that they can get as much money out of us as possible. It’s got to be put to an end. Please ask for more from these games. Please don’t settle for these games “because at least they’re still pokemon,” “because at least the pokemon battles are the same,” “because at least the older games are still technically playable.”

After all this, I just don’t believe Pokemon anymore when it tries to sell itself “to everybody.” That’s just plain not true. Their core audience is the dumbest of 10 year-olds and the dumbest of die-hard fans. They don’t care about their community any deeper than their wallets.

Prompt Ideas!

This is a list of aus, prompts and scenarios smut-centric and not that could possibly help anyone struggling to figure out what to request for the Jihope Love Exchange.

Be prepared, this list is rather long.

AUs

abo

actor

angel/demon

arranged marriage

art critic

artist

assassin

athlete

bakery

band

best friends

body guard

book store

camboy au

ceo

chaebol

clerk

club

coffee shop

college/university

dance

doctor

domestic life

dystopia

fae/fairy

fake dating

fantasy

fashion designer

friends with benefits

flower shop

fuckboy

gang

genderbending

genderfluid

gods

gym

hanahaki

harry potter

high school

homeless

horror

hospital

hybrids

ice cream parlour

idol

idol verse (non au)

kids

library

life guard

long distance relationship

mafia

magic

married

mermaid

model

music

mv inspired

neighbors

party

percy jackson

photography

pirate

pokemon

office job

overwatch

red strings of fate

reincarnation

rivals

roommates

royalty

sex work

singer

single parent

slice of life

social media

soulmates

space

spies

sports

street performer

stripper

superhero/villain

supernatural

tattoo parlor

teacher

teenagers

texting

trainee

transgender

underground performer

vampire

vet

war

wedding

werewolf

witch/wizard

youtuber

zombie

Prompts

Character

Character A has been stealing from another thief, Character B, for a better half of the year and it never stopped being amusing.

The duo was unlikely. Character B was a young man with a wise, old soul. Character A was a hopeful man with a child-like heart that had seen far too much over the years.

Character A is a time traveller who’s been traveling for so long they can’t remember what time they came from. Character B tries to help them.

Character A is a dragon who loves music and kidnaps young men asking their betrotheds to sing them a song as ransom. Character B is their newest beloved.

Managing Character B’s temper would be so much easier if there weren’t so many people trying his patience, and Character A just happens to be their biggest annoyance yet.

Character A wishes they were braver, stronger, smarter. Character A wished for all these things without knowing they were already brave, strong, and smart and Character B is going to prove it.

Character B is rude in every sense of the word and impatient to a fault. They were the kind of person to shove “lesser people” into a trash bin if it meant entertainment. Things change when Character A knocks them from their pedestal and they realize their actions have consequences they aren’t sure they can fix.

Character B has a tendency to apologize for anything, even if they have no reason to and Character A is getting sick and tired of it.

Character A collects stones and arranges them on their shelf by color.

Character B was always dirty and cut up with wraps over their bruised knuckles and Character A just wants to figure out why.

Dialogue

“I don’t know what’s happening but I love it.” 

“So you’re the guy who saved my life?”

“If you could stop collecting angry children and turning them into vigilantes, that’d be great.”

“That was definitely not just the wind.”

“Oh yes, I’m super friendly. All bark, no bite.”

“He had lots of love to give and no one to give it to.”

“Stop asking me if I’m alright. My last answer was ‘annoyed’, why would it change any time soon?”

“Why do you always disturb me when I’m in the zone? It’s like you just know.”

“I’m happy when I have freedom to do whatever I want, not stuck here with all these obligations.”

“Look, it’s not my fault I died.”

“The ambulance was painted black.”

“The lights sizzled and burned out, one by one.”

“His eyes were hollow and dark, a strange quirk to follow his dazzling smile.”

“My daughter always said that I had to be quicker than quick.”

“And so his meal turned against him.“ 

“The creature continued to softly sing.”

“The only thing that stood out of the rubble of the old stadium was a single row of seats.”

“The crowd cheered as the man fell down to his knees, screaming for his child.”

“He took the record off the player but the song continued to play.”

“A person walked in, clad head to toe in yellow, carrying a large suitcase.”

“He could swear he saw the gargoyle move.”

“It’s not like I’m starved for attention or anything. I just need to be acknowledged every few minutes so I don’t have an existential crisis.”

“Beautifully crafted stick figures, just for you, at a low cost of nineteen payments of nine thousand dollars.”

“Don’t look at me, this is not my fault.”

“Look, I don’t particularly like being a cold-blooded killer, but it is my only marketable skill.”

“For a self-proclaimed god among mortals, he seemed awfully bothered by a little knife in the ribs.”

“Are you serious? You want your last words to be a pun? It wasn’t even a good one. I’m giving you another shot.”

“Hey, remember that ‘if I ever see you again, I’ll be morally and legally obligated to kill you conversation’ we had a while back?”

“Sorry, I’m not sure what to say. Usually someone’s told me to shut up by this point.”

“That’s the first time I’ve died in a while. Guess I was overdue.”

“I asked for a helpful opinion, not…whatever that was.”

“You can tell me anything and I wouldn’t judge you. Probably.”

“This was fun. Let’s cause more chaos again, later.”

“You lucked out. If I hadn’t been there, I don’t want to think about what could have happened.”

“I was trying my hardest to mind my own business, but you’ve really done it now. I have to know.”

“Oooh, so mysterious. Look at you, so tough! So cold! I’m intimidated, really.”

“I was going to thank you for your help, but I did most of that.”

“How did you not notice you had a fever?”

“I know you said we were going to focus on me and my problems, but how about we don’t?”

“Disappointment comes in many shapes and sizes, you know? Mine comes in the shape of you!”

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this. It’s humiliating.”

“People see your scowl and run for the hills. I can’t have this when my guests come over.”

“Next time, when you try to kiss me, please don’t go for my eye. My lips are better.”

Scenarios

adopting

breaking up

cheating

comforting

coming out

competing against one another

crying

cuddling

dancing

enemies to lovers

fighting

first date

first kiss

friends to lovers

getting engaged

getting married

getting together

going to sleep

graduating

meet-cute

meeting each other’s parents

moving

moving in together

one night stand

playing

practicing

singing

strangers to lovers

transitioning

waking up

Hopefully these help! And a disclaimer, none of these prompt ideas are mine, I got them all off tumblr by searching the words “writing prompts.”

If there’s a prompt you’d like me to add to this list, simply send me an ask!

Here’s to hoping for more sign ups!