oh good

the tapping of his fathers pacing on the tile is almost enough to drive him mad.

“don’t let your brother’s incessant whining cause you to falter. this is merely a short visit to discuss the matter at hand, and then you’re on your way right back to ba sing se. he will try and whisper doubt in your ear.” the firelord stops to shake a finger at him. “do not listen to him for anything! i will help you in the best of my ability to have this taken care of.”

“i’m not,” iroh snaps impatiently, digging his palms into his eyes. “i’m not listening to him, father. he doesn’t care for lu ten and he doesn’t have to. he has his house and i have mine. empty words have little meaning to me at the moment.”

his father purses his lips. the sting of his stare digs down to the core.

“you say that,” azulon snaps, “but i believe this to be a family affair. its possible lu ten was taken advantage of because he was too busy protecting ozai’s wife and ozai’s children to protect himself. if that’s true, then ozai owes him. i don’t give a damn if he cares about him as his nephew or not. lu ten honored his house, so he shall honor lu ten in return by shutting his trap for once.”

iroh doesn’t have the strength to respond. he’d left ba sing se in a rush after receiving the news, and ordered the shipmen to get him back home on the double. he’s sick, he’s tired, he’s terrified and angry, and he misses his son something awful. the last thing iroh cares about right now is what ozai does or has to say.

there’s a heavy, sad sigh from above him. azulon slowly makes himself comfortable on the sitting cushion next to him, grunting as his bones creak. he sets the knocked over teacup straight again and refills it. the familiar heat and fragrance does nothing to soothe iroh, however.

“there is nothing i can say to make you feel better as of right now,” his old man mutters, sitting the teapot back down with uncharacteristic gentleness, “nor can i say anything sure about ursa or the children. but lu ten, he…. he is a remarkable young man. thick skinned and ornery. lightning generation at only 21, can you believe that? he beat you by a whole year. you must have faith in him.”

“it’s not about having faith in my son, father, of course i have faith in my son. but i have no faith in whoever has- has stolen him from me!” iroh suddenly exclaims, gesturing wildly. azulon flinches as his hands come dangerously close to knocking over the tea again.

your boy flagrantly disrespected you and stayed home to laze around, ozai had hissed, his narrow eyes locked straight up at the throne. both were kneeling before their father’s throne, side by side. i don’t know why you even bother. if he thinks he’s so grown up then he can save his own skin.

iroh didn’t bother to respond. he has nothing to say to his brother even on the best of days. all his life, he’s been nothing but a background character to iroh. always insisting on holing up in his room or office, never joining family dinners or celebration banquets. never one to offer his congratulations, but expects his older brother to offer his. yet, he always liked to think his word was of any significance to iroh. that he was always to be heeded. respect to his elders only means something to his little brother if there’s something to be gained.

flagrant disrespect. lu ten did not disrespect him if iroh never directly asked or ordered anything of him in the first place. he implied it, and lu ten pushed back. it hurt, but it would’ve also been the boys first true venture outside the fire nation. so iroh understood the hesitancy.

iroh would’ve just had lu ten by his side in his war council anyway. he would’ve never seen the battlefield or the city until iroh leveled it. not a spot of green would be spared by his men.

he had envisioned himself shooting a hole right through the flimsy palace wall with his lightning, and his son by his side. winning.

nothing has gone the way you made it out to be, great spirit. i don’t feel very lucky, as of late. the evening sun peaking through the tall windows of the corridor offer his thoughts no response. the general sighs heavily, and continues on his way.

the royal procession had gone through the beach house, along with the rest of the island. not a trace left behind. no sign of a struggle, either.

the procession claims it’s like they vanished out of thin air, sir, jee had whispered.

delicate situations such as this one call for holding the ones you trust most closer than ever. thus, iroh took only his personal guards from ba sing se back with him. jee is a rugged and introverted man, one that iroh knows can keep a secret, so he has been acting as his messenger man and valet for the time being.

another member of his most trusted circle is one of his longest working servants, one that belongs to iroh’s house personally. her name is su, and she is a stout woman around his father’s age. stern and silent, but trustworthy. she was the one that kept a close eye on lu ten from a distance during the periods of time iroh wasn’t around in his youth. she had been the midwife at his birth, she had been the one to pick the wet nurse.

and she had slipped iroh a journal outside of lu ten’s room. leather bound and stained in a deep red, with delicate embroidery of lotus flowers decorating its cover. it looked like something the lady ursa would gift him.

i came across this left behind in lady ursa’s garden, your highness, she had murmured fiercely. i snatched it right up and held it for you upon your return, lest it fall into the wrong hands.

the dark, warm silence of iroh’s own chambers is a small comfort, but the cold leather of the journal in his hands chains him to the cruel reality.

one of the vows iroh made for himself when lu ten came into puberty was that he would never violate his son’s privacy. he’d like to think that his son’s life possibly being in danger is a good enough reason to break it, but it still feels… wrong. especially now that he’s an adult himself.

it’ll be like eating a dollop of wasabi, he tells himself. spicy and painful one moment, then fading tingling the next.

with a sigh, he cracks it open to the back page. a few lines of familiar scrawl.

and the reason i torture myself trying to ignore all these things about him that bother me is because….

he looks away, shame crawling up his back. the candle sitting at the corner of his desk flicker along with his irregular, fear ridden heart.

a dollop of wasabi, he reminds himself. he opens his eyes again with a long breath and looks back down at the journal once more.

…well, that’s the crux of it. i just don’t know how to finish that sentence anymore.

that tells him a whole lot of nothing.

iroh flips the page back again, and is immediately overwhelmed by completely filled pages. then startled, by the sheer amount of times his own name pops up to his searching eyes among walls of scrawled text.

unease curls in his gut, like a dragon slowly rising from a slumber.

the ink doesn’t look too old. and su had said she found it in the lady ursa’s garden. and then jee said the royal procession claimed the fours’ trip to ember island was only to last three days, tops.

and as far as iroh knew, lu ten had been keeping quietly busy after iroh’s departure to ba sing se. lu ten willingly buried himself in paper work, always hunting for things he had the power to make into his business. training with lightning generation was grueling, and took hours, on top of the meditation necessary. and it takes a clear mind to even work with lightning, so…

had he done something recently to upset lu ten, and didn’t realize it? what things about iroh did lu ten torture himself trying to ignore? dramatic wording like that is difficult to overlook.

the general thinks back to how well his son can hide his emotions. lu ten’s court face beats even ozai’s, so it made him a gnarly pai sho opponent, but… he never did the backhanded comments. he can lie, but he’s a man of action before a plotting one. so you’ll never see the storm coming until it hits you directly in the face.

the letters he got back from him in ba sing se were… neutral. unbothered. he hadn’t seemed very troubled at the palace gates during his departure, either. tired and a bit wary, maybe.

but now that he thinks about it, the way lu ten looked at him had been… strange. his eyes had an emotion swirling in them that the general couldn’t read.

he rapidly rolls over the most recent letters in his head, the days right before leaving, trying to think of what he might have done to set lu ten off-

…the tiff they had on the evening before iroh’s departure.

he had forgotten about it completely.

spirits, he’d forgotten about it by the time he stepped foot on the shore. the elation of finally arriving at ba sing se, the first big step toward fulfilling the biggest thing he’s wanted to accomplish his entire life, the ultimate win, decades of planning and dreaming, inspired by agni herself…

he’d been caught up in the heat of the moment.

it didn’t even turn into an actual argument, that’s how small the tiff had been- a few things thrown back and forth during their private dinner, and the rest of it had been spent in awkward silence. iroh had let his hurt get the better of him, and he got testy.

the only thing that spoiled his ongoing luck, his relief of finally being able to go and crush his country’s most stubborn opponent, to make the second biggest win since sozin- was his own son not joining in, or showing any interest.

and that wasn’t even it. the closer iroh and his advisors got to bringing their planning to a conclusion, the more withdrawn lu ten became. whenever iroh brought it up, his son would close like a firelily in the night.

i assumed you were above teenage rebellion, iroh had muttered. i understand you want accomplishments of your own, but-

teenage rebellion? you’re joking, right? why do you always insist on- on patronizing me whenever we don’t agree on something? if you think you’re gonna guilt trip me into changing my mind, you’ve got it all wrong.

the disbelieving, ever so slightly shriller tone lu ten’s voice took on reminded iroh of his mother. she always had the habit of raising her voice a few pitches when she got upset. it reminded iroh of a coyote-eagle, once upon a time. the older lu ten got, the taller and leaner his face and physique became, the more time they spent apart, it’s like a vivid repeat of his mother. he even became a hand talker when iroh hadn’t been looking, just like fuhua.

(are habits hereditary, or had fuhua died after running away, and came back to haunt him?)

it’s probably best to start a bit further back in the journal. it might provide the context this father needs. he flips the pages for a few moments, and stops at random.

i spoke with a gentleman from the earth kingdom today during my observational trip through the colonies closest to the homeland. if you didn’t look close enough, you would’ve thought him to be any old fire nation fisherman, but i know green eyes when i see them.

his wife was a sailor that hails from caldera city. they met across the seas, in a neutral port town. they have two young twins, just barely older than zuko and azula. isn’t that something?

now, that is something iroh never bothered doing when he was a young man- it’s only now that his joints won’t let him run around chasing skirts anymore that he’s become a people person. but he’s proud of his boy for taking that initiative and having such a sense of responsibility, to go and mingle with the common man. an empathetic ruler that’s popular with his people will have the surest and furthest reaching authority, after all. iroh couldn’t name a single councilman off the top of his head that would be willing to even breathe the same air as a commoner, much less a colonial mutt.

however… this isn’t a colonial. he’s too keen on the idea of his family members’ abductors being petty, revenge seeking crooks from the earth kingdom to be okay with the idea of his son even conversing with one. for all they claim to be true and steadfast, them sneaking in and attacking an unarmed woman and her young children in their beach house just to get back at iroh is all too realistic of an idea.

but lu ten wasn’t unarmed. lu ten is one of the strongest men in the fire nation, and iroh isn’t even being biased about that. it takes prodigy to conjure lightning, and mastery to control it. and lu ten was very protective of ursa and the children- almost too protective. back in the day, during celebration parties at the palace, lu ten would damn near prowl around a pregnant ursa to fend off the careless crowd, lest they bump into her and jostle her. and he’d only been just a young teenager himself, so it was like watching a polar bear puppy that thought itself a snarly guard dog.

then a few years ago, there had been an incident where lu ten claimed zuko’s instructors were smacking him around. he’d grabbed both of the men by the collar and dragged them both viciously through the palace and right out the door- only after the sharpest scolding iroh’s ever heard since his mother was still alive. he’d never seen his son so angry. he’d chuckled at the way those old instructors had babbled apologies and fell to lu ten’s feet, while patting ursa’s back gently as she floundered.

no, it’s doubtful that an old fisherman had anything to do with it. earth kingdom or not. this is just something he needs to talk to his son about once he’s found. it would take a group of very strong benders to take lu ten down, at the very least.

he was wisecracking and friendly. we talked about his business, the officials that take care of the town and the surrounding environment, how he met his wife. he even shared his lunch during our time together- grilled fish, fragrant with sumac and citrus, and a chilled earth kingdom style mint tea. it was refreshing and unique, and i want to do it again. you’d think the fire nation would pick up these little things as it expands, but it just drowns it all out. i’m not sure if that’s a good thing. what made the food good was its earth kingdom style and seasoning, after all. what made the man interesting was his earth kingdom raised manner.

…what made lu ten think it was a good idea to write such things in a journal, and then be so careless to just forget it in ursa’s garden? he’ll have to thank su for her keen eye. if someone lacking critical thinking happened to pick this up and turn it in to his father, he’d have to deal with his son having allegations of sedition on top of everything else.

iroh, personally, is more than happy to let all traces of chilled tea get drowned out. it’s a frequent and light hearted debate between a father and son, the do’s and don’ts of tea. iroh is a stickler for tradition and enjoying the natural flavors. the fire nation boasted only the most fragrant flowers to enhance only the most delicate flavors of only the finest tea blends, after all.

his son claimed it all tasted like dinky dirt water, and stubbornly stuck with his cold hibiscus teas with herbs, and his heavily spiced and creamed saffron teas. it had been a big joke back then, but now… not so much.

a whole lifetime of a father making his son tea, sharing one of his passions. conversations over tea, tea for soothing a sore throat after screaming matches with councilmen, tea to wash down sea water accidentally swallowed at the beach. traditional methods, ceremonies, porcelain pots precious enough to buy a whole town- but it’s dirt water. yet an old fisherman from their greatest enemy shares ice water with a few mint leaves in a tin cup, and its unique.

and he wants to do it again.

the personal betrayal somehow hurts more than the blatant treachery written out plainly on the paper.

to be honest, i think that it’s a great shame that a good man like that has to be careful on his own property-property he paid for with his own money and built with his own hands- due to being from the earth kingdom, even if he has a strong marriage to a fire nation citizen. i thought about it for a long time, and realized that even if he wasn’t loyal to the crown, i didn’t mind. i don’t get angry at the idea, and i don’t think i ever have. i didn’t even think about it until i left. he made good company, offered to share his food with me, and introduced me to his beautiful children as if i was his new neighbor. i think community like that is something the fire nation needs. especially the nobility, who you’d think all have iron sticks shoved up their asses.

interactions like that are the most important ones to me, because they challenge me the most. i hate to cheapen that by thinking i just enjoy being challenged to spite my traditions and elders, or to be contrarian. that’s what coming of age means to me- looking inward, and asking the big questions.

…this can’t be why lu ten has been so distant lately.

the general slowly shuts the journal in dull horror. how long has this sickness had time to fester his son’s soul?

he swallows hard, and gingerly slides the journal in the folds of his robes. under no circumstance can anyone get their hands on it.

and later, when his gut quits churning and the candles around him quit threatening to set his room on fire, he’ll read this whole journal, front to back. brand every sentence, every symbol into his eyes. then he’s gonna burn it, bring his son home, and ask him what the hell he’s thinking.

the next morning, after letting the foul scent of burnt leather fade from his chambers, iroh finds jee.

“what can i do you for, your highness?”

“i need you to bring me the finest bounty hunter money can buy,” iroh murmurs. there’s a madness in his eyes and in his grip now that he’s had time to ponder the contents of his son’s journal, and what they entail. “and no matter what, it stays between us. i do not care what measures you must take to keep it that way.”

jee swallows hard and salutes with purpose. the poor man must be able to his see stress all over his face, but he’s barely containing himself the way it is.

this was no kidnapping. the blasted earth kingdom has everything to do with it, naturally, but it was no kidnapping.

jee returns to him that evening, followed by a lovely young woman, head to toe in black leather. her gait oozes confidence, and her narrow eyes scream danger.

this is definitely not the kind of finest iroh meant by finest bounty hunter money can buy, but he’ll take it.

“…i’ve, uh. fulfilled your request, your highness,” jee says. he looks flustered, and is clearly refusing to even glance at the woman.

“with a few breaks in between, i’m guessing. your collar is uneven, soldier,” iroh deadpans. he’d call it a shame if he wasn’t curbing an episode at the moment.

jee makes a faint noise of distress and fumbles with his uniform, blushing a deep red. iroh realizes that was the wrong thing to say at how the fair lady scowls at the crude jab.

she shoves past jee with an aggressive shoulder clip and crosses her arms before the general.

“i was promised a shitload of coin in exchange for some missing royals,” she says, voice clipped. “i don’t like to work with your kind, but good money is good money. and i can promise better and quicker results than any phony bounty hunter in the world- my companion is a shirshu. she can sniff out a rat from a whole continent away.”

a shirshu, eh? it would seem my luck has made its return after long last.

“impressive,” iroh praises truthfully. he’s a weak man for crass and foul-mouthed women. “i’d like to take a look at this beast, and then we can discuss the details and prices. i also hope you’re alright with keeping this transaction under wraps, my dear.”

she sneers. “you can call me june. and i’d highly suggest keeping a few steps away from my nyla, for your own good.”

jee clears his throat. “i’d listen to that one, sir. her creature is something else.”

iroh hums pleasantly, and keeps a few paces behind june as they go. a strange calm has washed over him now that the universe finally makes sense to him again; he has a few more people he’d like to question, and he’ll be all set. then sooner, if he’s lucky, rather than later, his sister-in-law, his nephew, and his niece will all be found and returned home, safe and sound. his son will be in his arms, whole and unharmed. ba sing se will simply have to wait.

and if they’re lucky, the dragon of the west won’t have thought up a better solution to finally grinding their sorry ashes into their own dirt by the time he gets back. but regardless, he will win.

So after so long being uncertain.... Places to stay is booked, ferry is booked, car is ready, of course not packed 😂, and we are going in about 27 hours..

Denmark, Germany, Austria, Switzerland and Italy and maybe a day trip to Croatia and Slovenia.

But I'm now, late at night, back emotional 😢😔. Sad someone I knew died, sad and upset that I still get upset over my ex that I loved/love so much, sad and upset about my daughter not having a good dad and that she will probably get heartbroken by him, and of course what started all the feelings to come back, my grandmother who has continously talked shit to me and behind my back about having a baby before my sister, out of wedlock, that I still hope of magic to happen with the dad (that he will be a great dad and fix his attitude to life) and everything I want to do pregnant and as a mom she is against and finds faults with, and she screamed at me in the kitchen because it was awful that I wanted to know if it's a girl or boy. And what did she asked my mom?!!!!!!!

Does my mom know the gender?

Like she got my grandfather to yell at my mom for 10 minutes about how bad job my mom did raising me and how bad it is that I want to find out and get things ready for baby coming. She screamed at me in the kitchen and has for months said her opinion saying she doesn't understand why I need to know. Fine, well I want to and I can so I will. (I didn't answer like this of course).

And she has the nerve to come asking my mom what is the gender. And on top of it. My mom didn't know why she asked but I do. My aunt fucking told her. My aunt told my grandmother and my grandmother tests my mom to see if my mom is loyal and honest and then makes me out to be disrespectful to the family for not listening to them in first place and then not telling!!!!!!

Like i get upset with my mom because she is playing to not stand up for me. And my grandmother is trying to find anything to be disappointed and upset about. But does she asks me???? No. Because to me it's horrible thing to know. And of course her belowed boys, if I don't know then perhaps it be a boy 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑.

Like I hate it.

Of course I would have joy if it was a boy too. But being raised in a family that differenciates between men and women and boys and girls. It sucks. It sucks you have a good idea, opinion, thought but not allowed to share because a man didn't ask you and men wants only to listen to men. Like I hate it. I was smarter, stronger than the boys, and won of course but that important to try to ignore because it hurts a man's/, boy's ego. But if a girl hurt herself or is hurt she needs to get it together because no one wants to or needs to see that.

But I can promise you I have seen men in all ages with broken egos and how they are allowed to take it out. And if a boy cries, it's okay and we will ignore. But a girl - we say we will ignore but talk about how weak and what a failure she is in behaving as a good girl.

So yeah I'm sad and angry and upset. And I know not smart with my health, my pregnancy nor my mental health and my dream to finish school. I risk loosing vacation and school if I don't get this together and rest.

Rest and let go. But I'm upset.

And also I'm upset that I had to go through so much mistreatment and how much I have tried to be good. Like that has been so much of my identity and my goal to one day be so good that I desserve love from my family.

And looking through photos on snap of how much I tried to be the best I could be to finally be loved or accepted or supported and nothing I do is ever enough. And again with this whole baby *should be boy if I need to have the baby *. Like a boy gets-doesn't work to get anything in our family - a girl is a slave throughout life. But I know that's a champion. She will be a champion. Even if it was a boy I would raise him as a champion.

I appreciate that I have learned hard Labour and work ethic. I don't like raising a child and how I was raised, to not sleep or eat until I succeed that or that task that isn't life or death. Because I was a child!!! A child isn't supposed to do all that.

And all of this, it's wrong wording to say breaks my heart because experiencing it, did. Thinking of it just makes me so frustrated and upset.

The mental abuse. I realise more and more, that it was enormous. I always said that it was not so bad because I survived dad and his abuse and I could handle the other family fine. But no. I don't handle it fine anymore. Not that I don't know how to be a good girl/good woman/submissive/wife. Because I do. But I'm tired of never being enough. Never being good enough.

I have had plenty of ppl telling me what a good wife I will be one day and how I'm this and this, but I know if you tell my grandmother, she will agree it's good I can clean and cook, but do I cook and present ready to same time every day? Did I clean after I used every glass, oh. I didn't. *Well, I guess we can't have hope for all girls*...

Like I'm just soooo nsorflflflfkflfodeo, I want to be free. I want to escape. I want family and support and love and appreciation and security!!!

But Im what I got and what my daughter has, and we need sleep. And I need to stop thinking about this

i found this in my google drive and its from 3 years ago. i deleted it but i wanted to post it somewhere private.

I am so scared and I feel so broken. I’m not sure how to keep looking forward. It is difficult when the person you love and trusted so much, hurt you the most. I’m not sure what the best way to move on from this situation is. I feel incredibly embarrassed and disrespected. I feel out of control of the situation. I feel like a fool. I feel like this random girl came and ruin my entire relationship. But then I realized that he had a part in it too. That’s what j=kills me. what kills me is knowing this happened twice and knowing they slept in the same bed. I’m not sure what to believe anymore. Looking at the person I love so much in disbelief, it was so much easier to block him out and paint him as a villain. I still want to paint him as a villain so I can grieve so much easier. I want to be with him I want things to go back to the way they were. He was supposed to be my person, I was so proud of him. We were supposed to go places together and laugh together and share experiences. It feels like it’s so far away now. I want to smash my face into a wall and never look at myself again cause all I see is someone so broken down. I never knew how good things use to be until it was all taken away from me. I want him to comfort me because he was the person that hurt me but when I’m without him I feel panicked. Everywhere I look, I see his face and I feel hurt. Everyone tells me, he lied, he did it twice, he slept in her bed. And those sentences ring in my head over and over and over and I feel fucking sick. Its not just the kissing its the lying over and over to cover up shit its ignoring my calls and yelling at me for being crazy for yelling at me for not giving space. Ive never been a clingy person and im only clingy at my fucking lowest points. I wasnt clingy because i was jealous i was worried fucking sick that he was hurt i should have known better i wish we had just broken up that Wednesday. I  night so i wouldnt have to feel all of this hurt now. He will never get to know how it feels to be shut out and not know. I want to dig a hole and crawl into it and never come out. It would feel so good to just fucking die just to shut these thoughts out for one fucking second. So much I have to do and focus on and the things that made me so happy like school, my club, research, eating, watching movies, all give me nothing. I don’t know what going on, I’m so behind in everything.

I used to think so awful about people who cheated. I never thought he would do this to me. He wants me to forgive him, but that means I have to go against everything I once believed in. do I need to rewrite my idea of love to fit this person in my life again? Is this what I truly want? Can I live with this fear with this person for the rest of my life? He tells me that he will change everything that i could come back to an environment that is safe and loving. It feels so good to hear to come back and have more. I don’t want to think this happened for a reason and that it will make our relationship stronger. Why do good people have to take a hit in order to learn a lesson? I look at him and i feel so sad, and then i feel angry. But i always go back to feeling sad again. He always chased after me and thats what i love. He always made me feel so beautiful and worthy. Its hard when something like this makes you believe those things were never true.

I think my main concern is healing through this, so I can get my self-esteem back and be able to love and trust again.

Bad puppy

Warning: PWP, puppy play (tail, ears, leash-collar, and a muzzle), anal play (tail butt plug &pegging), fingering (m.reciving), use of titles(master), slight public play? (Jake’s roomies are in the house with them), Hard!dom!gn!reader, Pup!Sub!Jake, and ig rule-breaking?

Summary: your innocent, cute, puppy boy Jake breaks your rules, you have to make sure he doesn’t ever do it again. It’s time for a hard punishment so he won't forget.

Rule #1:No back talking, bad-mouthing, or being disobedient to your master

Rule #2:No touching yourself without your master's permission

Rule#3: unless spoken to, don't speak

Jake had broken your rules now he had to suffer the consequences of his actions.

“Jakie~ You know what you did was wrong.” You pull on his black leather leash. A small whimper passes his plump pink lips. “Master~ m sor–” you pull at his leash again “did I tell you to speak mutt? Dogs don't talk last time I checked” you pushed your knee against his metal muzzle.

A little whine slips his lips as you step on his hard cock. It was dripping precum and was an angry red. You pressed your foot harder on his lower regions “bark, puppy”

A small yelp comes from the boy. “Louder!” you say sternly pulling his leash again. “A-arf “ he barks. “good boy” you pet his hair softly, he leans into your comforting touch. Little did he know you had more evil plans up your sleeve.

“Come on pup let's go on a walk hm?” you say taking off the muzzle and walking forward “come on don't be scared puppy, you wanted to disrespect me in public now I'm going to embarrass you in public …well..kind of,” you say as you pat your thigh signaling for him to come over to where you were standing. He looks up at you with those glossy puppy eyes thinking he could win you over on this one. “Don't look at me like that.” you spat.

You drag him out of your shared room and as you do so you hear nothing but sad whines and whimpers. “Aw what's wrong doggie,” you say in a teasing tone. You know he won't speak because he doesn't want to break more rules.

He shakes his head.

“Good boy”

“Up up “ you tap on the counter beside you. He does as you said, crawling onto the cold marbled countertop, his back arching at the coldness.

With no hesitation, you spread his legs wide. There he was exposed to you. The blushing on his inner thigh matched the blush on his face a, soft pink.

“So pretty puppy” you whisper as you lick a strip on his thigh. Making a small whimper peep from him “you look so delicious, baby” you lick another strip but on his pretty cock. A yelp comes from the man. “Jakie, puppy do you want to continue?” you ask softly making sure it's ok to move on. He shakes his head “use your words pup.” you say “y-yes m-master” he says trying to muster up something to say to you.

And with that, you walk back to the room and grab your strap.

Coming back to your pup, you begin to line trails of kisses along his torso, his hip bone, and his pelvic bone. Every kiss sends him to cloud 9.

Jake loves your kisses wherever they are. They make him feel so warm and loved. But that feeling of bliss was short-lived as soon as he felt your hands wrap around his slender thighs and pull them up to your shoulders “are you ready puppy~” you say with a wicked grin on your face. Nothing but a small nod comes from jake. you lube up his hole. Scissoring him open with your fingers. His back aching when you hit that one spot that drives him crazy. You line the dildo up with his entrance. Pushing it in and starting with a slow pace. You don't want to hurt him even tho you had prepped him way before this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His moans were so loud. Whiny groans as you plow into him mercilessly. His eyes rolled to the back of his head. “M-ASTER, s-slow down” he whimpered you stay quiet was you leaned down towards his red ears “puppy...since when did you tell me what to do?” you spat along with a powerful thrust right at his prostate making his scream. His mouth hung open as you continued your ministrations.

“A-ah ma-ah-aster I'm-” his words turned to mush as he cried out your name “ hm? You're gonna wh-what?” you say rhetorically. “Cum- cu-mming ~,” he says as he cums all over himself and the kitchen counter. “Mm baby~ you rulebreaker. you just don't know when to behave,” you say slapping his thigh “I guess since you wanted to cum so damn badly how about.. I'll milk you dry~” you coo at him as your hips start to slam back into him. “ Ahh~ ma-master! stop! It hurts, please” his eyes rolling and tongue out “if you want to stop you know you can just say your safe word, “ you lean in. “Mmm~” He groans

His back arching off of the counter “m’ Master~” he whimpers as his cock twitched. He looked so pretty like this all fucked out. “You look so pretty baby~ hmm go ahead cum for me like a good boy” you kiss all along his collarbone. With that, he comes undone. His loud whimpers as his 3rd load tonight shot out of him. He was panting, his chest rising up and down as he tried to collect his breathing. “Good boy. Such a good boy for me.” you sweep away his hair that stuck to his glistening forehead and give him sweet kisses on it. Following one on his nose, cheeks, and lips. “Wanna take a shower love or a bath?” “a-a bath” he whispers. You pull out slowly as you pick jake up and carry him to the washroom for a soothing bath together

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Did they have to fuck in the kitchen?! I just wanted some ramen!” jay scoffed  as heeseung patted his back “just..go to sleep jay..just sleep” he said calmly “I CANT SLEEP AFTER..THAT!!?” he drags “shhhhhhh jay!”

“ they better clean that counter off or buy a new one bc. That..was not what I wanted to walk into the kitchen to see..” “Good night jay” hee walks off

Fin

The Last Of Us Part II

I played and finished The Last Of Us Part II last week and it has been on my mind ever since. I obviously understand that a lot of people have problems with this game, and that’s okay. I’m not here to change anyone’s views on the game or anything, I just want to kind of write down my opinions and takeaways as, again, it’s been on my mind since finishing it lol. Nobody may see this and this will mean nothing, that’s fine. 

Anyway, this post will contain SPOILERS

My Overall Thoughts

I’m not entirely sure how to structure this so I guess I’ll just start with a broad statement lol; I loved The Last Of Us Part II. In my opinion, it’s a beautiful and well-crafted story about loss, grief and consequences, with how each of these things affect different people. 

Discussion 

From what I’ve seen, I see a lot of people hating on this game for its handling of Joel and the decision to have the player play as Joel’s murderer, Abby. I’ve also seen a lot of people say that the message is as simple and plain as “viOleNcE iS bAd”, but I personally think it’s so much more than that.

The Last Of Us Part II doesn’t just tell you that violence is bad, but it shows you the ramifications of it by dealing with the emotional toll as well as the consequences on not just the main person involved, but their loved ones too.

As we all know, at the start of the game, Joel is brutally killed by Abby and we go with Ellie on a mission to avenge him by killing everybody involved. We see it all from Ellie’s point of view, hardheartedly seeing Abby as the villain as she just killed the character that we know and love as we have an emotional connection to him after the first game. His death is supposed to make you feel angered. It’s not like you’re supposed to be joyed by it. His death scene left me feeling empty and sick, wanting revenge alongside Ellie. 

However, as the game goes on, we start to see the story from Abby’s point of view. We learn that the doctor that you, the player, had to murder at the end of The Last of Us is actually the father of Abby. This is brilliant. Now we see one of the main themes of the story, consequences, and I was immediately on board. Joel is not a good person, at all. He murdered hundreds of Fireflies and took away the possible cure for humanity for his own personal reasons. This is incredibly selfish, even going to the lengths of lying to Ellie about the events as he knows that it isn’t what she would want. Technically, Joel is the villain.

Joel had been through so much, so you may think it’s justified. But the point is, Joel isn’t the only person in the world of The Last of Us. Everybody he murders aren’t just mindless NPCs, they are people. People with their own problems who have gone through their own share of pain and loss, people with their own loved ones. Such as the doctor, who had Abby, whom he loved very much and Abby the same. So, understandably, she would feel incredibly angry and feel the need for revenge, just the same as Ellie and the player after Joel’s death.

There is now a cycle of revenge. Ellie goes on to kill Abby’s friends, and so Abby tries to kill Ellie and her friends. It’s not until Lev talks Abby out of it that the cycle seems to have been “broken”. Abby and Lev put it behind them, however, Ellie cannot and nor can Tommy, which means that the cycle is not broken. Ellie continues her hunt for revenge, thinking it’s still what she needs. Just as she’s about to murder Abby, she sees it’s completely useless.

Here I’m going to talk about another core theme of the story: loss. As Ellie is about to kill Abby, she realises that Joel is gone. Completely gone, and killing Abby is not going to change that. She now has Lev, and if Ellie was to kill Abby, Lev would only lose Abby, leaving him in the same situation Ellie was in at the start of the game, which in turn means Ellie is becoming what she set out to kill. It’s no use. Revenge only causes more pain and loss. This cycle is so vicious and nobody wins, and Abby realised this once she found Lev, and found that revenge is a futile thing that does not achieve anything, especially not bringing back her dead friends. She managed to break the cycle herself, and in turn, she found a life worth living, a live with Lev. However, Ellie could not manage this, choosing to still seek revenge.

Because of this, she faces the consequences. She loses all of her loved ones. She loses Dina, she loses Jesse and she loses her baby son, JJ. Tommy is the same too. Tommy couldn’t break the cycle, and he loses his wife, Maria. And guess what, Joel is still gone. All of that loss, yet Joel is still dead. It’s all been for nothing. Ellie is now completely alone, which is what she said she was scared of in the first game, all because of revenge. The way forward is not anger, rage or revenge, but acceptance and love. That’s my takeaway.

You may think this treatment of Joel and Ellie is “disrespectful”, but I disagree. In the first game, you do a lot of bad things as these characters. Yeah, you go through a lot of pain, but so has everybody else, yet they still face the unfavorable consequences. It only makes sense that Joel and Ellie would too. In my opinion, this only helps to build the world of The Last of Us and show that just because Joel and Ellie are the main characters, they aren’t invincible, and the world doesn’t revolve around them. They just happen to be two people who live in the world amongst so many others, which for me, makes it so much more realistic. This is emphasised in the incredible detail in the gameplay of each enemy having names, with other enemies interacting with eachother as you stalk them. It makes them feel so much more real and only increased my enjoyability.

From a story like this, which is so dark and gritty, I don’t expect a happy ending. You’re not supposed to like Ellie by the end of this story, as she serves as the example of why the cycle of revenge is horrible. You’re not supposed to feel satisfied by it, you’re supposed to feel empty, hurt and sad. That is literally the point. 

You have to realise that The Last Of Us is a piece of artistic storytelling told and made by artists. It would have been so easy for Neil Druckmann to write a boring and two-dimensional story to appease players and make bank. But he didn’t. He chose to craft an intricate, heavy and creative direction for his material, and I hugely respect that. At the end of the day, he doesn’t owe you anything. This is his story, and these are his characters, he can do what he wants with them. If you don’t like his creative vision, then great! You don’t have to. If you don’t like something, just don’t play/watch/read it. If you loved the first game but hated the second, then just pretend it doesn’t exist and come up with your own fanfiction for these characters, it probably wouldn’t have been as good as this.

A lot of people blame “bad writing” when they don’t like something. There’s a difference between feeling bad about something than it being bad writing, you know. Just because it wasn’t what you wanted, doesn’t mean the writing is bad. By you feeling angry about Joel dying, Neil Druckmann’s writing has accomplished its objective. And I’m not trying to say that everybody who doesn’t like this game didn’t like it because their fanfiction didn’t come true. You cannot like this game solely because you don’t like the direction it took, and that’s fine. Because again, this story is a piece of artistic storytelling, and art is subjective.

This entire post is just my opinion. I personally loved this story and these characters, and it was exactly what I wanted to get out of this game. Everything about the game I just adored. I loved the plot, the writing, the characters, the gameplay, the music, the visuals, the performances - everything. And if you didn’t, then great. That’s your opinion. It just hurts me to see so many people dismissing the incredible things achieved in this game solely because of one plot point. I don’t know. As I said, I’m not trying to change your opinion or anything, I just thought I’d share mine.

I only scratched the surface of my thoughts and opinions on this game. I could talk about it for hours, which only goes to show the extent of its achievements and how incredible it really is. I doubt anybody is reading this and that’s fine, apologies if none of what I said made any sense at all lol, I’m awful at articulating my opinions aha.   

The morning and evening star | Johnny Suh

Johnny Suh x female!Reader  

▸ too much fluff, too much smut, angst, prince of Egypt AU, slave reader ▸ Part of NCT Historical AU Collaboration hosted by @puppywritings ▸ In ancient Egypt, the Pharaoh is referred as “Morning and Evening Star”

Summary: Fighting the battles for his kingdom and for his ill father, Johnny, a prince of Egypt was given a beautiful gift the night before a great war starts. The given gift, which is you, gave the prince a very hard time but soon your heart softened the moment you allow yourself to get to know him. As you both fall in love sooner than expected, you thought that Johnny will give you your freedom but he can’t because that means letting you go. Johnny treated you as a gold and you became his most precious jewel. He kept you inside the palace, gave you a place to paint on and kept you in his life for as long as he can. But not long enough. 

Word count: 8,441k Warnings: Smut, Smut, Smut, its a Johnny fic what do you expect?, mentions of slavery (if that bothers you, please click away), mentions of blood, mentions of death, mentions of sadness, self doubt, possessiveness, unprotected sex, oral sex (female),  rough sex, slight exhibitionism, fingering, mentions of bruises, spitting. Mentions of other idols, and Johnny’s parents. Pregnancy, (if that bothers you please click away), mature themes, murder, family betrayal, mentions of gods bc hello its Egypt A/N: Pure fiction. Inspired by my favorite movies that I grew up watching with my family during family movie nights.. haha. (Troy, prince of Egypt, Exodus: Gods and kings, Tangled, and Gods of Egypt) 

Taglist:  @doyounglover  @puppywritings  @commentgirl @mischiefmakerliesmith5  @wonderfulkoreanpop  @ethaeriyeol @suhpersonic @sunshinedhyuck @sighreal @jb-hope94​ 

To William, thank you so much for this wonderful collab! I’m lucky enough to join last minute and I hope this fic gives justice to your wonderful collab. Thank you so much! 

On a beautiful quiet night in Egypt, under the dark sky that's full of stars, a young prince is out on the terrace to look at his kingdom and admire it even with the slightest light. The moon shines beautifully and so he expects that that is a good sign that the night will be even more beautiful.

A royal banquet is waiting for his presence. Another gathering where the richest families in Egypt wish the young prince to bring peace, victory, and finally put an end to this war against the enemies.

“I can already feel the weight of my father’s crown mother, what should I do?” Johnny asks his mother as they accompany each other to the royal banquet.

“You do the right and wises thing, my son. Be a better pharaoh than your father,” his mother advises. Caressing his son’s face before they enter the room and telling him to have long patience with the ignorant people who are going to have a word with him tonight.

When everyone welcomed both the prince and the royal wife, they all cheered happily, shouting and howling for the prince while the blaring sounds of percussion and tambourine started playing. Men and women were always mesmerized by Johnny’s perfect built, architects and sculptors are dying to make him their inspiration and make him a big statue. Even the beauty of every gold he’s wearing in his body right now has no match for his natural handsomeness and godlike features.

“My son, who has fought many battles for me over my reign since I was declared ill, will be the one who will lead you to peace and victory,” he pats Johnny’s shoulder before he continues and looked to his assistants. “So before a great war starts tomorrow, I present to you this gift,” he nods and signals his assistant to bring it in.

And when people started to make way for the gift, loud grunts, and nonstop whining were heard across the room… while the people just watched the guards drag her in to be presented to the prince. “Amusement my prince,” one of the assistants says and pushed her further in front of the prince.

Johnny then lowered himself to check the gift that's been presented to him. Left and right he turned the girl’s face to admire it, and when he finally smirked because he liked the gift, the girl spits on his face. Loud whispers of shocked people surrounded the room, telling the girl that she has no respect for the prince of Egypt. Of course, Johnny can’t let his people see that it’s alright for a slave to disrespect him, and so he did something… something he’s not going to be proud of but will surely wow the people watching.

He grabbed a glass of wine, drank a mouthful and spit it on the girl’s face in front of everyone, and poured the remaining wine from his cup on her clothes. “Be careful slave” the prince says, pointing a finger that has a big golden ring around it to remind her who she’s talking to. “Dry her off and lock her in my room. Go,” he commands and the guards responded immediately.

The royal banquet carries on without even bothering further about the slave. Everyone drank delicious sweet wine, chattered nonstop about their richest and the things they desire in life and bid the prince of Egypt good night before they all went home.

But even though the night carried on as it should be, his mind can’t stop reminding him about the awful thing he did earlier. And so after the royal banquet, he asked for a tray of fruits and brought it to his room… for you.

Behind the thin curtains of his bed, he sees your silhouette and shook his head as a sign of disappointment to himself before he apologizes to you. He joined you in bed, sat so far away but still, he saw that no one tended to you, that no one helped you or even gave you dry clothes. “Why must you disrespect me like that?” Johnny left the question as he disappears for a minute and returned with a damped cloth and his sleeping robe. He hands it to you because he wouldn’t dare touch you without your permission, but instead of accepting the kindness that the prince is giving to you, you rolled your eyes at him, sat up and kept your distance.

“I’m sorry” he whispers but you heard it. “I may be a fool or I act tough in everyone’s eyes, especially my father’s but my mother did not raise me like that,” he added and reached for the damped clothed and came near you. Johnny wiped your face carefully like he is not the future pharaoh of Egypt and humbling himself for you.

After cleaning your skin, you shamelessly removed your clothes in front of him and looked straight into his eyes to search for lust and to finally finish this long night. And just like those men and women, architects and sculptors who lusted over his body, Johnny… lusted for you.

If you strip away every gold in Johnny’s body tonight, you will see goosebumps around his skin. He very much wants to have you tonight and pleasure himself but he still feels very guilty about what he did earlier. Almost as if he felt that he’s not worthy of you.

“If I give you pleasure tonight and have me as much as you want and as many as you like, will you free me?” you ask crawling near him wearing nothing but a cheap necklace. The prince then caressed your face, traced the curves of your body while looking directly into your eyes, showing you that he wanted to accept your offer so bad but not tonight.

“Tempting. But tonight, you rest” he says softly, trying so hard not to kiss you down the mattress and hurt you so good for the whole night. But even though he would rather do filthy things to you, he reached for his robe and made you wear it to bed. “May I be forgiven before I sleep tonight?” he says, smiling weakly and pushing you slowly to the mattress. He sat next to you while waiting for your answer.

“Only if you forgive me from what I did”

He chuckled and got up from the bed to leave you finally so you could get your rest. “Then it's settled. Let’s start again tomorrow when I come home… if… I’ll still be alive” he says, and left a sweet smile.

They say that men who will go to war the next day never get a peaceful sleep not unless they exhaust themselves from pleasure and eventually sleep like a baby. And that’s when you realized that the prince of Egypt sacrificed his sleep for you. Now you feel even more guilty because you took away his very chance to sleep peacefully for the last time… if he dies in battle tomorrow.  

But for Johnny, knowing that he put a decent woman in bed and earned her forgiveness is better than pleasure or getting to enjoy lust before a battle. You were sleeping like a baby, he thought. The whole night he sat on the chair beside his bed, guarding you, and admiring you. Until the sun finally showed up and it's time for him to go.

The battle was bloody as expect but Johnny did not expect that their army will fall on the first day of the war. His soldiers needed to take him back to the palace and protect him from there, even though he wanted to fight until his dying breath. Not run like a coward and let his men die.

The soldiers brought him back safely, but Johnny was not pleased. He arrived at the palace furious and more than angry to his general that he yelled at the nurse who is supposed to treat his wounds and his maids to clean all the blood and dirt on his face and body. Johnny is hurt, physically but his pride is crushed, and that hurts even more than his wounds.

He was repeating the battle plan and their strategy in his mind over and over again to look for holes, to look for people to blame but he just can’t. Until eventually he fell asleep even though he’s in so much pain.

“You” the head of the nurses points at you, “you treat his wounds. Or else his majesty will die because of infection and it will be on your account “ she gave you the things you needed to treat a wound properly, complete expensive materials and ointments to heal the bruises faster but the problem is you don’t how to use them. You’re not stupid and you know a thing or two, but the person whom you’re about to treat is not just anybody, and that makes you nervous alone.

Quietly, you entered his room. It was cold and only a few candles are lit and you see his majesty curled up in a ball. Vulnerable, in pain, and suffering emotionally.

Before you even touch him, this scenario reminded you about his kindness the other night. How he touched you so delicately and how he wiped the traces of expensive wine on your skin so gently. Now it's your turn. You started by stripping off his armor, the golds, and silvers that protect him until he’s exposed with nothing but the minimal cloth that covers his manhood.

Carefully, you wipe away the dirt on his face until his handsomeness is visible again, closely you make sure you did not miss a spot and clean him well. Touching his big arms almost felt like you’re committing a great sin, his chest looked so strong even though it’s covered with bruises now which you’re going to take care of in a few minutes.

Then he wakes up and he sees you treating his wounds.  

Glad to see that it’s you who’s taking care of him because for some reason you make him soft. He let out a sharp sigh and in an instant, you were shaking for you thought he will shout at you. But no. “I think I may have a broken bone, can you help me get up?” he weakly asks you.

“O-of course,” you slightly panicked but you did your best to support him with all your strength.

“Give me some water,” he says and you followed, helping him drink so he wouldn’t move too much. "You know you’re not a maid here. You’re a gift. A gift to me” he says sternly like he wanted you to take his pride. “Thank you. For taking care of me in my vulnerable state, sleep beside me I’m in pain”

And without hesitation, you did. This time, it's you who’s guarding him to his sleep. Although it hurts you to watch him suffer like this, you didn’t have a choice but to further take care of him.

On the next day, the nurses treated him the right way and adjusted his broken bones which made him feel better in an instant. You thought you will be released by then because you’re completely useless to his majesty, but you realized that he’s only keeping you for his pleasure and nothing has happened between you two yet.

So in the meantime, you decided to make yourself useful and learn the basics of treating a wound and make sure you know exactly what you’re doing whenever his majesty feels any discomfort.

He healed for days. Did not speak for days. And still, he hasn’t touched you. Oh you wish he would already so you can guarantee your freedom. Your family should be worried by now and probably thinks that you’re already dead. You can’t help but think about your family, your ill father and your younger brothers who need you, in which you can only sigh as you think about it while you take a breather at the palace terrace.  

“I bring good news,” a voice disturbed you and your thoughts, “we are winning the war,” he said weakly.

“Ah. But you don’t sound so pleased? May I ask why?” you turned around to face the prince and slowly came closer to him.

“Because I am here resting and healing while my men fight in the war when I should be leading them” the disappointment in his voice is obvious. He pulled you closer to seek comfort, holding you by the waist and keeping himself calm by smelling your unique scent.

“Lead them once more when you’re healed. For now, rest so you can go in battle with them again. You’re next to your father, and if you die on that battlefield then who will lead us?” bravely you soothed his strong back, feeling him shiver once your fingertips made contact with his skin and your warm palm gives him great calm.

“You remind me of one specific person,” he says, and you wonder if it's one of his lovers, “you remind me of my mother. Who is a great queen of Egypt” and right then and there you feel guilty for judging a loving son who respects his mother so much. Hearing those words from him made you happy and proud of yourself because now you feel useful.

He pulls away from his soft embrace and looked deeply into your eyes, asking for permission to do something to you but he’s not saying anything. It’s his eyes who are doing the talking. “You may,” you said and let out a nervous giggle before the prince finally planted a kiss on your lips.

A kiss that’s wet and quick but made your whole body warm and you wish he would kiss you a little longer but who are you to request?

“I’ll take you somewhere private,” he said when he stopped the kiss and smirked.

And so in the middle of the night, you followed the prince to that private place he told you. Hand in hand you walk in the dark, exchanging whispers when you ask him something and he answers you.

“Close your eyes” he whispers and you followed immediately. Feeling him walk away for a few seconds and then he’s right behind you, feeling him motion you towards somewhere. And when you opened your eyes, what you just saw took your breath away.

A sky full of stars shining brightly and beautifully. You can’t take your eyes off of the sky because you’ve never seen anything like this and even though your neck already feels tired from looking up, you look a little bit longer and savor this very moment. “So this is where the prince of Egypt go whenever he’s tired? I assume?” you asked, smiling like a fool because you’re still mesmerized.

“Yes. This is where I think, hum a few songs, and be myself. No judging eyes, no wars- it’s quiet right? The only part of the palace where it’s really quiet. When I become pharaoh my room will be placed here and I will curse who dares to ruin my peace” he giggles to himself and points at the nearly done construction. The future bedroom of the new pharaoh, big, lavish, and peaceful. It suits him.

“I’m so tired of worrying and thinking about the future” he admitted weakly, closing his eyes and resting his head on yours. Embracing you from behind and caging you with his strong arms. Of course, this bold move made you nervous, the prince of Egypt is keeping you in his arms right now, who wouldn’t?

“Then you must rest,” you said and he only hummed and let out soft sighs.

“Can I have not only your lips but your whole being too?” he asked with the utmost care, careful not to offend you or make you feel like a whore. Then suddenly you feel his lips on your skin, cold lips that felt heavenly, soft lips that you imagine to be on yours. but he’s placing sweet kisses on your neck that made you gasp sharply, close your eyes and accept what he’s doing.

With heavy breaths and soft moans, you try so hard to let out a few words “Do you even need to ask? You’re the morning and evening star you should do as you please,” you croak.  

And because you have given him your consent, his kisses became intense that you’re sure you felt his teeth brush on your skin. And because of the pretty sounds that he’s making it is very much obvious that he is enjoying himself especially now that his big hands are roaming free around your body. Kneading your breast and telling you that they’re soft while his mouth is near your ear and he nibbles your earlobe as he pleases.

He twirls you and made you face him before he devours your lips once again, kissing you with want and with a mixture of lust while motioning you towards the huge bed. He sat on the edge of the bed, making you stand still in front of him, “Virgin?” he asked shamelessly, you shook your head 'no' shyly. “Shame” he added before he stands up and removes his robe, exposing himself to you. Now you understand why everyone in Egypt lusts for him.

Gently he runs his hands on your shoulder, untying the knot that secures your dress and letting it fall down at your feet. “Beautiful,” he says.

The night wasn’t exactly hot but the prince made you sweat in bed the whole night. He was careful but all the things that he did to you were rough, he was very stressed and tired indeed. The way he kisses you, the way he bites your neck and mark you his, the way he holds you in place while he thrusts so roughly. All you can do is whine deliciously, groan and let out sharp gasps and heavy breaths.

Again, he was rough but you loved everything that he’s doing.

“Last one and I promise to give you rest,�� he said with ragged breaths. Lips on the side of your face while his big hands knead your breast from behind and preventing you to fall on the mattress. You arch your back as much you can so you can manage to take the overstimulation and sensitivity but the prince is fucking you good that your knees are about to give up.

When he is so close to his sweet release, he pushed your body on the mattress and slapped your left ass cheek one too many times before he pulls out and pumps his cock away from your hole.

Weak. Tired and aching. You curl your body and hug yourself as you wait for the prince to cover you with his warmth again. But not long after he came down from his sweet release, he is holding you by the ankle and the next thing you know he is hooking his arms around your legs, spreading your folds and running his fingers on your wet slit while watching you lose your mind and beg for him. His tongue was heavenly and he was licking you slow like he’s waiting for you to calm down and accept the pleasure that he’s doing. Up and down, he licked you slow and listened to you wherever you want him on a certain spot. And when you had your sweet release and let out a high pitched moan, you did not beg for him to stop and you chose to overstimulate yourself.

“You sleep in my arms tonight,” he says, kissing you sweetly before he lies beside you and spread one arm to keep you close.

Although you're both exhausted and tired from pleasuring each other, that is not the reason why you and the prince stayed up until the sun is rising. The whole time, he was playing with your fingers, caressing your body and feeling his fingertips glide on your skin while he listens to you. Listening and not just hearing you talk. He was keeping the conversation with you, throwing you a lot of questions, hard and easy ones. It was his first time knowing someone he fucked.

“Tell me more” he says, leaving a kiss on your shoulder as you enjoy your comfort while you lie on your side and admire his godlike features. He was asking for more stories about your childhood because he didn’t have one. He was giving you kisses in exchange for your stories that make him feel alive and present in this world.

“Are you not tired?” you asked him with a smile.

“Talk until I fall asleep” he drags you near him so he can cage you with his strong arms and keep you close until he wakes up. He closes his eyes and waited for you to talk again, drawing small circles on your back so you know that he’s still awake.

“Paint, I love to paint,” you said, and told him stories about how the colors make you feel alive and whenever you paint, you feel free. You were talking and talking and talking until you got too carried away and did not notice that he had finally fallen asleep and you decided you should too.

In his arms, you slept well and dreamt about home. You see how your family welcomed you home and their faces were clear as day, almost as if you’re not dreaming. Ever since the prince showed you kindness, you’ve been sleeping better and for that you are thankful. But for now, your beautiful sleep needed to be disturbed for a very sweet kiss woke you up.

“You smile in your sleep,” the prince says, greeting you good morning and seeing his naked body first thing in the morning. You sat up from the mattress and covered yourself with the Egyptian cotton blanket, squinting your eyes to protect it from the bright sun. “Good morning my gift,” he greets you again, caressing your thigh under the blanket. Oh its too early to commit sin but the way he makes you feel good with his finger is inviting. “Spread your legs,” he says, and so you did.

Up and down he moves his two fingers in your very wet slit, you almost feel sorry for ruining these expensive sheets with your juices, but what can you do? The prince wants you soaked. “You were so amazing last night that I dreamt about you,” he came closer to you and removed his fingers to join you under the blanket and position himself in between your legs.

“You had me under the stars last night, are you going to have me under the sun too?” You asked with a playful tone, giggling under the covers with him and enjoying the closeness of your body. He is a big man, but his warm body feels good on top of you. Skin to skin, chest to chest, while his manhood is inside you. “You’re rather gentle now,” you added, letting out a soft moan and smiling weakly at him.

“It’s too early to be rough” he smiles and grabs your waist, thrusting deeper while he kisses your neck and marks you wherever he wants especially on your chest area, or swipe his tongue on you and devour your sweet lips.

“Thank you, I still ache from last night” you inform him, returning his sweet kisses with a smile and soft giggle that is soon replaced with a delicious moan.

“Apologies then, what do you feel now?” deeper and slower he goes. Making you feel every bit of him by stretching you so good while he holds your hand and kisses them while he thrusts. “Not going to l-last longer” he says and gave you a few sharp thrusts, making your breast bounce then did not hesitate to pull out and pumped his manhood away from you, ruining the expensive sheets with his thick cum.

He feels so warm and weak, groaning while you watch him pump his cock in front of you. What a sight. The prince looked so hot. All naked and glistening as the morning light shines upon him. “Do you know it's a crime to stare at me like that?” He asks with a smile. It was a joke but you can’t help but think that you’re lucky enough to see him like this, to look at him with lustful eyes to hold him whenever it pleases you.

“W-were not yet done?” you ask when you saw him spreading your legs again, oh his stamina is unbelievable. He didn’t answer your question but instead, he kisses your lower abdomen and kissed your body and breasts until he reaches your lips. And there’s that feeling again that the world is stopping whenever his lips touch yours, you like what’s happening and you don’t care if you’re not home anymore. Or maybe that’s the lust talking.

“Where did you learn how to kiss like that” it was not a question, he just simply wanted to let you know that your kisses do something to him. And while kissing you, the prince felt something he has never felt before. He was quite sure that it’s called admiration and want. He is slowly becoming possessive with every swipe of his tongue on your lips, he is slowly falling into your charms with every touch of your hands on his chest and the way your hands roam around like he is yours.

“I know I promised your freedom but can you stay a little longer?” he kisses your hands and kept them close to his heart. A gesture that is saying he is requesting, asking politely, and leaving you the decision because he respects you.

“I’ll stay” you answered without hesitation because it is what your heart wants. He has been nice to you, although he needed to put an act first but his true colors were inviting. “With two conditions,” you added, stopping him from attacking you with kisses.

“No lies and don’t die whenever you go to war,” you said sternly to which he’s very happy to hear.

After that beautiful morning, you and the prince spend your entire day naked in his comfortable bed, enjoying the lovely weather of Egypt and its calm breeze. Talking and exchanging stories, knowing each other deeper and accepting each other through honesty.  

Then night after night the prince have you on every corner of his room or wherever he pleases. Making beautiful and lustful memories all around the palace. And whenever you’re both clothed and decent, he walks with you and shows everyone that you now have a special place in his life, something you’re never going to get used to but slowly it sinks in. You started dressing up in expensive clothes because he says so, giving you expensive jewelry all around your wrists and your neck. But most importantly, he is giving you more reasons to stay with him.

One fine day while you were waiting for Johnny with a book in your hand, he arrived very excited and was in a rush to bring you somewhere. Perhaps another secret place where he can fuck you? Or a surprise picnic? You really have no clue. But when you finally arrived at the place where he is very much excited to show you, every wild guess disappeared for you know exactly what the place is for.

Different colors of vibrant pigments, all came in different sizes. Paintbrushes from small to big ones made with soft hairs. And the canvas… is the place itself. “Johnny, this place is huge. I feel so small,” you said, feeling dizzy with how high the walls are but you are very much excited to paint on those.

“Paint all you want from now on, I know how you miss your home. I hope this will suffice” he gently pats your head, cup your face, and kissed you. “I have to go somewhere… dangerous again” he informs you, hoping to get a positive reaction from you.

Well, you can’t stop him and you know that all too well. You were quiet and if you’re being honest you don’t know what to say, but you do know that you want him to go home in one piece. “Remember your promise,” is all you can say to him.

“I won’t die” he giggles and intertwines your fingers with his.

When the prince left the next morning, you can’t help but worry for him and be scared that something bad might happen. But whenever you remember his bright smile when he promised you he won’t die, your heart warms instantly and you can finally get on with your day.

Using the gifts that the prince left you, you painted for hours and hours, from sun up until sundown. Sleeping on the floor next to the paints rather than the huge and comfortable bed because you can’t handle the cold there. And whenever you’re taking a rest from painting, you still spend your time alone rather than make friends and talk to the maids.

It was lonely when Johnny is not around. You don’t know when will he arrive, and worrying will do no good so you waited patiently instead. Day after day you did the same things. Paint, eat alone, be alone, paint some more and sleep on the cold floor.

Until finally, a pair of arms surprised you, encircled perfectly on your waist and you can finally feel that familiar warmth again. You put down the paintbrush and tried turning around to welcome him home with kisses but he stopped you. “I look filthy” he said, but you did not care and still turned around.

To your surprise, you almost did not recognize him. His face is full of dirt and blood, small and big bruises on his face but thankfully no broken bones this time. He was quiet. No sweet kisses for you and obviously he’s tired. “We both look dirty” he giggles and reached for your hand to wipe off the paint from it, “what you did here is beautiful” he said and pulls you to a hug which you returned without having second thoughts.

He recognizes your paintings. He is sure that it's from your home, memories from home to keep you happy perhaps. Johnny searched for anything or something that says you missed him too while he’s away, perhaps a sunflower? But he found none. Little did he know, that you missed him terribly too that you chose to sleep on the floor.

After your quick reunion, you washed his face, treated his wounds and decided to take a warm bath together. The silence was deafening and so you talked and talked until he finally says something.  

“Do I make you happy?” he asks sincerely while scrubbing your back and pouring warm water on your skin. Bathing with him brings you a different kind of calm. You nod your head ‘yes’ to answer his question, caressing his thighs underwater. Then you feel him kiss your neck softly and encircle his arms on your waist underwater.

“I’m setting you free” he says.

And those words made your heart ache in an instant that you turned and faced him with worried eyes. You should be happy by now because finally you can be free and see your family, but why are you sad? He just came back and now you’re going to be separated again?

“But” he added which made you nervous even more.

“It pains me to let you go. That’s why I promise to take care of you and love you day and night… if you choose to stay” you always see him as an honest and sincere man but now his sincerity is different. It has a mixture of hurt and hopelessness like he already knew you’re going to leave him that’s why he made such an offer and confessed in the middle of a huge bathroom and while taking a bath.

“A few months ago, I told you I’ll stay and that’s not because I’m doing you a favor but because I really wanted to stay with you. I’m still choosing to stay-“

He cut you off with sweet kisses until water splashed on you and him, there are tears in his eyes but it wasn’t visible because of the water. Happy tears that only you can give him.

And that is how your story with Johnny started. It started with doing what your heart wants with all honesty, choosing to love each other and stay together. After that very momentous bath, he became Johnny to you and not the prince of Egypt, but the man you chose to love from now on.

YEARS LATER    

Life with Johnny was never easy but it was full of love and he had kept his promise. Everyday, day and night he loved you more and more each day. And eventually, fucking was replaced by passionate love making which something you both love doing.

“So good” he groans and lets out soft moans while you bounce your body on top of him, driving him crazy and make him beg for more. You intertwined your fingers with his, sucking his fingers while your roll your hips deliciously. He can be rough with you in order to drive him mad, but you, you need only lustful eyes, your womanhood, and your tongue.

“Ooooh-“ he groaned a little louder than before and shoots his thick cum inside you while you drill your hips make sure you won’t miss a drop. “I hope you get pregnant this time” he said with ragged breaths, encircling his arms around you and placed sweet kisses on your face and on your lips.

You’ve been trying to have a child now but the gods are not in favor of it, so you and Johnny decided to try until you succeed. Usually, one round is not enough for the both of you but when you both realized that it’s going to be like this forever, there is no need to exhaust yourselves anymore because you can simply make love again tomorrow.  

“If you don’t mind me asking, how many babies are we going to have in the future?” your question made him laugh. The sound of his giggles vibrates on your body because you’re too close with each other and you can’t help but laugh with him too.

“A lot,” he simply answers your question and kisses you before he covers your body with a thicker blanket.

Life with Johnny is sweet, not because you’re now comfortable and he showers you with gold. But because he showers you with the love you deserve and he now takes care of your family too and even provided your father’s medicine. Even though you haven’t seen them in years, now they know that you’re in good hands for you write to them and let them know that you’re well. But for Johnny’s safety, you didn’t dare tell them that you are in a relationship with him.

It may be sweet and comfortable for you, but it is not always like this. Of course, there are hard times that you have to face with Johnny. Like when his advisors see you as his whore and not someone whom he truly loves, when his father did not accept you and almost took away Johnny’s right to the throne, and when you planned on running away so the people around him can stop doubting him as the future ruler. All these problems but Johnny chose you. Always.

“I love you”

He whispers and caressed your face while watching you sleep. Having one last look before he starts his day without you and faces yet another stressful day.  

Now that his coronation is getting near, many people have been seeking his attention and had been trying to rebel against him. He may be a great fighter, and he honors the throne, but the people around him do not see him as someone who can rule and solve the nation’s problems.

Heartbroken. That’s what he feels when he thinks about being king in the next few weeks.

“My uncle and cousins are active lately, seeking the people of Egypt’s hearts, courting them, and feeding them lies. My own family... is planning to overthrow me” he informs you. Frustrated and stressed beyond you could have ever imagined. It pains you to see him like this.

“I am no advisor. But be strong my love and still do your best to rule, prove them wrong” you encourage him, trying your best to give him strength. But all he gave you is a sly smile and a kiss on the forehead, leaving you to go and study more about the things he should know for his kingdom until eventually, you find him asleep on his desk. Shivering from a cold night and all you can do is put a blanket around him.

After a few weeks, Johnny is crowned king of Egypt. A celebration that’s very beautiful but you’re not allowed to stand near him because you’re a slave and people will recognize you. But you know all too well that Johnny imagines you being on his side.

They say that the crown is naturally heavy but if it weighs too much that even your heart can’t carry it, then you are not fit to rule. And that is exactly what Johnny feels right now, but trying is the most important thing for him. Running away from his duty is not him. He will continue to try and be a better pharaoh than his father.

“Where have you been?” you giggle and soothe his strong arms that are encircled around your waist. Accepting the kisses he’s giving to you for it has been far too long since the last time you’ve been together alone. He had been working hard for his nation, he looked tired than ever.

“It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful” he says while looking at the sunflowers you painted on the walls. A thousand sunflowers for the gods, in exchange for Johnny’s safety… or a child, if they permit. “I visited our room last night, but you weren’t there. I knew you were here but I needed to go already. I’ve missed you so much” he turned your body so he could see you finally, cleaning your hands full of paint with his own clothes. A gesture that simply tells you that whenever he’s with you he’s just a simple man who loves you so much and not the king of Egypt.

“I’ve been sleeping on the floor. I’m in a rush to finish this so I can finally offer something to the gods and they can grant me my wish” you rake his long hair away from his face.

“Now, now, that’s not how a future queen of Egypt should behave, my love” he smirked and you rolled your eyes, picking up the used paintbrushes and cleaning them.

Then you realized he said something.

“Say that again, my love” you request as you watch him come closer to you with a smile. “Was that a question? You never addressed me as someone-“

“Will you marry me? Be the queen of Egypt and become my wife? Be my best advisor, help me to be a better man?” he finally said it. Straight forward and will all honesty, as always.

“Y-yes. Of course, I would like to be your wife. But your people won’t allow it,” you answered excitedly. Eyes with tears that continuously flow. He cupped your face and thanked you for saying yes, not caring about your concern for he doesn’t care what others will say.

The celebration of being engaged is continued in your shared room with wine, fruits, hope, and dreams. It was a night a fun night with your future husband where you enjoy the company of each other after such a long time. Johnny made sure that you made the right decision and promised you a better life.

“What more could be better? We have everything already Johnny” you put a grape in his mouth before you lie beside him.

“What was your prayers to the gods again?” he asks, out of nowhere. To be honest you did not expect he would be interested. “Maybe I can give it to you instead?” he added and it instantly made your heart full.

“My first prayer is, for your safety wherever you go. Nothing scares me the most than knowing that wherever you go, your life is always in danger my love” he tightens his embrace, silently thanking the gods for bringing you into his life.

“And the second?”

You breathe deeply first before you answer him, “A baby… but your safety comes first” you said sternly, pointing at his chest and drilling your pointer finger on his skin so he knows how scared you are. He caught your hand and kiss it one too many times.

“I love you, I promise to be careful so we can make babies during our marriage,” he promised sincerely.

On the next day, Johnny’s first agenda was to tell everyone about the good news. At least its a good news for him, but not for everyone. His father, advisors and other members of the elite society were disappointed upon hearing that he wants to marry a slave.

When Johnny became king, all of Egypt starved. That’s why everyone thinks that being married to a slave and throwing a big wedding is not appropriate.

“Do you think I’m a pushover? I am the morning and evening star, your king, and I kept this nation together and kept it safe with all my power. You owe me your lives. And I am not seeking your approval, I am simply telling you that I am to be married to the woman I love. Besides, I don’t want to see your faces on my wedding day and ruined it for me”

Silence ate the room and only the sound of afternoon winds surrounds the room. “Dismissed” he commands and they immediately left, leaving Johnny alone with his thoughts.

The wedding was simple and private because it is what you wanted and thankfully Johnny is not a fan of grand celebrations too. You both thought that the gods will spare your wedding day and give you a peaceful day just this once. But no, because a murder took place in the palace and it happened while you and Johnny are enjoying your wedding night.

He is deep inside you, thrusting roughly but with care at the same time. Hands on your waist to keep you in position as he fucks you from behind and leave kisses on your shoulders.

You were moaning so good, while you grip the sheets and part your lips, telling your husband how you feel and beg for more.

Until his advisors entered the room uninvited and have no care for privacy. Johnny quickly covered your body and hid you behind him. “YOU HAVE NO RESPECT!” He shouted so loud that you were sure everyone in the palace heard him.

But still, his advisors did not move an inch and waited for him to stop shouting.

“Our king... y-your parents have been murdered”

And that is when everything turned black in Johnny’s eyes. He put on his robe, ran towards his parent's room and saw the gruesome murder.

He didn’t understand why but he was heartbroken and very much angry that he punished all the guards on duty that night and everyone staying at the palace except you.

Well, you wouldn’t think that you’re not being punished. You’ve been feeling sick for days already and you have been having morning sickness more often. Then you realized you haven’t bled yet and immediately called a nurse, a good friend whom you can trust to confirm if you are with child.

You are.

And that is your punishment. Knowing that your prayer has been answered but Johnny is grieving and is away from you. Not seeing your husband and knowing that he’s out there punishing people, punishing innocent people makes your heart break. Apparently, asking for a peaceful life is too much.

Finally, Johnny found out who plotted his parent’s murder. And it is no other than his cousins who wanted him to give up the throne. And because of that, his anger grew much worse. Now he does not only punish people but also put them to death for Johnny believes that he is being betrayed by the people around him.

It has become the darkest time in Egypt.

“The is the only place that I can show my weak and grieving side. I’m so tired, my love. This is not me but all of Egypt is mad and wants to kill me. What can I do?” You hush him and gave him a tight embrace which he accepted and returned. “Do you want to kill me too?” He asks you and you can’t believe you’re hearing this from him.

“Never. I did not paint a thousand sunflowers for the gods so that I can wish you to be gone” you sat on his lap and reached for his hand, putting it above your belly. Hoping that he understands what you’re saying.

He did. But he wasn’t happy.

And all you can do is understand him because he is going through so much right now.

“The gods must hate me so much to give us a child during these dark times” he said bitterly.

You didn’t have a choice but to get up from his lap and place a kiss on his temple. You may miss him. So much. But it is useless to have a conversation with someone who’s full of hatred towards the world.

“I’m sorry, my love. I’m blinded with anger” he tried reaching for your hand but you refuse and lie on your side of the bed. Closing your eyes and remembering the happy memories you had with him over the years.

“Do you know what’s on my mind?” you did not answer him, “I would like to give up the throne and live a simple and fruitful life with you but I can’t. Kings don’t run away from battles” he says. Keeping you close and leaving kisses on your clothed stomach. Chanting apologies and saying how much he loves you before you both sleep.

Day after day, Johnny became even more scared for you and especially for your child. Now that you have a chance to be a family, Johnny is even more obsessed with fixing everything using his own ways but everything is not going according to plan. The assassins weren’t satisfied yet and they have been killing innocent people that Johnny trusts. And his cousins won’t admit the crime that they have been doing for Johnny lacks proof. It frustrates him greatly.

Now that you’re with child he stays with you from sun up, to sundown. He doesn’t care if people are uncomfortable with seeing the king with a slave, all that matters now is your safety. He is scared to the bone that he carries his sword around him and does not go to sleep so he could guard you in your sleep.

“I used to do this during your first nights here. I guard you in your sleep and watch you smile as you dream. But that’s maybe because back then we have peace. I’m sorry I can’t give you a peaceful life”

As Johnny continues to think of many ways on how to protect you, he kept you hidden in your museum and watched you paint. It calms him. And as he looks around the place, he looked long and hard at your artwork and remember the days when you used to miss home. Then he realized that it is the only way to keep you safe. The only problem is you will not agree on it.

“You do know that when I leave and they found out that you’re all alone now, they will not stop until they kill you then take your throne” you said sternly. Hearing his plan about sending you home makes you angry and misses him already.

“As long as I fight until the end. The only way to stop them and keep you safe is to give them the satisfaction of killing me. No one knew about our child, please listen to me my love. This is the only way that I can give our child a peaceful life” he begs.

You don’t want to admit that he is right and you don’t have any other choice now. But leaving him pains you greatly, that even just thinking about it scares you.

Eventually, you and Johnny plotted your escape and made you go home safe. With the help of your family and a few soldiers, they managed to get you out of the palace without anyone noticing it. But you can’t let go of Johnny’s hand. You kissed and kissed until there's no more time left to be together. You said your goodbyes and final promises to each other and accept your fate.

“I’ll find you in our second life, whatever happens. Live my love, live happily” he says and removed your tight grip before he disappears with his soldiers. And that is your last memory of the man you loved.

It was the darkest moment for the both of you.  

Johnny knew that being away from you will not be easy and it will make him weak in an instant. In fact, it made him crazy. Everyday, he goes to your museum and seeks comfort with your paintings. Constantly thinks about you and pray that you are well and healthy.  

“Finally, you’re safe” he murmured.

After a few days, the news that the king is dead has spread all across Egypt and everyone celebrated. Everyone except you and the few people who knew the truth about the assassination in the palace. Hearing them celebrate sickens you for they don’t know how Johnny struggled to keep his nation alive and safe and that he is not the enemy, the true enemy is the one sitting on the throne now.

Hearing that he was assassinated in your museum broke your heart for you knew that he longed for you until his dying breath.

After all, the thousand sunflowers you painted for the gods did not go to waste. But it was your second wish that they granted and not the first.

Angels like you//Bakugou

!!!MINORS DNI!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

Summary: Basically Bakugou seeing you as an Angel that needs to be protected at all costs, so he does the only thing he can: Cut off all of your friends for you and be dependent on him. You decide to play a little prank on him that ends up in a punishment :)

TW: nswf: yandere, manipulation, corruption, Stockholm syndrome (in a way), rough sex, unprotected, spanking, choking, spitting, overstimulation, use of the word Daddy, degrading, praise, anal, nipple clamps, use of vibrator, him video taping you and taking pictures of you while doing it 

Bakugou and you have been dating for a few month now and you couldn’t be happier, really. At the beginning it was a bit hard for you to handle his mood swings but you figured him out pretty fast, knowing all he needed was a simple hug or just you holding his hand, pulling back to reality and calming him down.  He treated you so loving and caring, always protective but never possessive. That was until the villain attacked the area you lived in. From then on Bakugou wouldn’t let you out of his eye sight. At first he said he would feel saver if you stayed with him for just a few days, days turned into weeks. He sat you down, explaining to you that he would love for the two of you to move in together, so you always wake up next to each other and see each other more. Hero work kept him busy from time to time and that made it hard to see each other every day. You thought about it for a while, but Bakugou convinced you at the end. You loved him, so of course you would move in with him. It was going so well.  Then you wanted to go out with your friends but Bakugou was so clingy and told you he had an awful day and really needed you, so of course you stayed. Once, twice, four times, eight times.  Then your best friends birthday arrived and you wanted to have a girls only party and Bakugou of course let you go, you stayed home so long for him. He just had to fuck you before, filling you up with his cum, having it run down your leg when you were out with your girls. What a coincidence that Kirishima, Sero, Kaminari and him just happen to end up at the same bar you were at with your girls at the end of the night. And of course at that bar a guy just had to try his luck with you. It took all three men to hold Bakugou back. “What a fucking asshole! I will rip of his fucking head! Shitty hair, let me go, he disrespected my girl and me!” he yelled, his hands crackling dangerously.  So you went home with him, calming him down and letting him mark you in every possible way, reassuring him that he was the only one who could fuck you like he did. Your friends kept flacking on you when you invited them to your place and Bakugou whispered all those doubts into your ears you decided it was best to cut ties with your so called friends. “I mean, if they really cared they would at least try you know?” “They haven’t checked up on you in a long time, that’s weird isn’t it? Shitty friends, too busy for my baby,” “Honestly to me it feels like they only ever hit you up when they need something from you,” “I’m sorry they didn’t invite you to the party baby, that’s really mean,” For a while you didn’t believe him, went against it and telling him that it was like that, you don’t talk every day and that always used to be okay. But they kept on doing things without you and you noticed just how happy they were- without you.  You finally cut ties with them when your best friend decided to text Bakugou, telling him he wasn’t good for you and to let you go.  He was there when you were in a car crash, they weren’t. He was there when you were sad, they weren’t. He was there when you celebrated your birthday, they weren’t.  So it was obvious who was good for you and who wasn’t. He made sure of that, texting them in your name and telling them you don’t feel like going out or didn’t want them to come. He felt a bit awful at the beginning, but he knew he did the right thing! They would make you go out, make you do dangerous things, putting your life at risk! They couldn’t protect you, not they way he could. They couldn’t understand just how precious you are. He had to do it, it was the best for you to lose people that wanted you dead.

Bakugou told you it was fine, he can handle your friends not liking him and that he doesn’t want you to choose between him and them. He would never do that to you! He wants you to be happy and to be free and do what you want. “But your friends on the other side don’t let you choose” he told you, playing with your hair while you were wrapped around him. They told you to drop him, the love of your life  Someone who really cared for you wouldn’t make you choose between them and the person you love. So you let them go. You only needed Bakugou. 

Bakugou made enough money for the both of you, you didn’t need to work anymore. It was tiring you anyways. You didn’t like your job and were always so sad and drained when you came back. He offered you to stay at home, do what you want, maybe find a new place a bit outside of the busy city. You always wanted a big house and big garden, right? Maybe with a cat? Or a dog? Whatever made his baby happy. The busy streets wouldn’t be so good for such a sweet animal, they need fresh air and a big space to run around.  He had enough money to buy the place you choose, of course he did. And the villain attacks got so bad, so many weird accidents happening around you, you were so much saver in the house. The house was a save space for you, your garden was so big and beautiful and you got all the flowers you wanted and a little kitten to keep you company when Bakugou wasn’t around. Your big dream coming true, thanks to Bakugou's love for you. A cat didn’t need much of your attention, not like Bakugou did. And when he put locks on every door you were happy he cared for your safety so much. And when your mail man turned up dead in the woods he would tell you how awful those villains can be, that he doesn’t want you to go outside anymore. Because the world was so dangerous.  And when you asked him to let you go grocery shopping with him he would tell you he planned on going right after work, you shouldn’t worry your pretty little head about stuff like that or carry heavy things. What if something happens? He cared about you so much. You were home alone with your cat in your lap when you heard the keys rattling outside your entrance door. Then another one and another one. “Baby, I’m home,” he yelled from downstairs and your cat jumped up, stretched its body, ready to go out for a while.  You decided to play a prank on Bakugou, hiding in the closet and waiting for him to find you. You heard him talk to your cat, letting it pass by him before he locked the door again. “Baby?” he yelled again, this time a bit louder.  Usually you waited for him already, running into his arms and listening about how his day was, him listening about what you did and then cooking together.  “Baby? Where are you?” he came upstairs, his pants getting unbuckled when he's in the bedroom, taking the grey sweatpants from the chair in front of your make up stand.  “Y/N, this isn’t funny, come out,” he was smiling you could see that but the smile turned into a frown. He walked into every room, calling out your name but you were gone, as if the earth swallowed you up.  He came back into the bed room and you could see how pissed the blond looked before he opened your closet door. You immediately regretted your actions. “Kats-” before you could say anything he grabbed you by your (y/hc) hair, pulling you up. You tried pushing him off but his grip only tightened. “Please stop, it hurts,” you winced, looking up at him. “I don’t give a fuck! Do you know how worried I was? Do you think that was funny? Yeah think it’s funny if the LOV snatched you up hm? I don’t think so, don’t pull that shit with me again,” “Katsuki, I’m sorry, please, I didn’t think-” “You never think when you pull shit like this!” he yelled, grabbing your face in his other hand and starring into your eyes, making you look anywhere but him. “Look me in the eyes when I’m talking to you,” Katsuki ordered, his hands tightening even more, making you uneasy and try to move your head. “Don’t push my buttons, you’re in trouble already you don’t want it to get worse do you?”  You shook your head and stayed still, looking into his red, angry eyes. “I’m sorry Daddy, I didn’t mean to get you so worried,” you grabbed his wrist that was near your face and looked at him with big eyes, knowing that name will please him. He let go of your hair and placed both of his hands on your cheeks, rubbing them gently. “I know baby, I do. Thank you for apologizing, but you know the rules, bad girls get punished,” he sighed and looked at you with pity in his eyes. “I’m saving you from all evil that’s outside and you still find your ways to scare me like that. You know I’m doing this for you! For us! You see what’s happening outside and I give you this save place and you still disrespect me. Baby... I thought I taught you better than that?” he raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer,  shaking his head in disappointment. “Yes Daddy,” you twirled your thumbs, looking down. “Come on princess, let’s go,” 

You got undressed, leaving you only in your underwear, your hair open, framing your face like a halo does to an angel. He patted the chair in front of you, making you sit down in front of him. He brushed through your hair and pulled up into a tight ponytail. Bakugou pulled a bit harder than you would have liked, causing you to push his hand away. He clicked his tongue and you knew you fucked up. Your hair was wrapped around his wrist in a second and he pulled you up by it, dragging you to the bed and making you kneel down. Ass up in the air you waited in anticipation about his next move. Without warning he landed his first spank, the leather slapping against your bare skin echoing in the room. You yelled out a few curse words, more surprised than in pain. He knew you could take quite a lot but you didn’t expect him to just go for it, especially not with the belt. He preferred to use his hands, but this time he wanted to see you bruised, wrecked and in tears.  “Count for me baby, can you do that for me?” “Yes Daddy- FUCK- Two,” you grabbed the bed sheet, trying to focus on something else. “I’m sorry, you know there will be consequences for disobeying me, we’ve been here before,” he was right, you were. You would never admit it to him but this is exactly what you were hoping for. You planned this two days now. He didn’t had enough time for you the last couple of days, so tired from his hero work. But you were so fucking horny, you needed him, buried deep inside you, wrecking your cunt, filling you up, stretching you out. He pulled your head back by your pony tail, his belt in his other hand. Two angry red eyes stared into your soul and you smiled at him defiantly. “What’s wrong daddy?” you fluttered with your lashes, watching his eyes darken. “Where’s my little whore’s head at? I told you to fucking count,” after his question each word came with a slap to your ass with the belt, causing tears to form into your eyes at the end. “Nothing important,” you answered him, your hand traveling up to his hard dick. He grabbed your wrists and held them down with his hand, spanking you again. “You don’t get to touch me unless I say so,” he warned you. You stood up as good as you could, pressing your ass against him. “I want you to fuck me daddy, please? I’m sorry I was such a bad girl, you should punish me harder,” you told him, feeling his dick twitch at the crack of your exposed ass. He took in a deep breath, before letting go of your completely.  “You want this dick, hm?” Katsuki asked you, pulling down his sweatpants, his thick dick hitting his abdomen. Your mouth watered at the view. He was always so clean, you loved it, nobody knew about this, but his dick tasted sweet, almost like caramel. You turned around and went down on your knees, ready to take him in but he stopped you, slapping you across the face with it. “You want me to punish you harder, then that’s what you’re going to get. Your little machine will wreck that ass of yours and Daddy will take care of himself, how does that sound? Watching me touch myself and all you’re going to get is that little toy,” he pulled out your sex machine he could control with a remote along with a vibrator and lube.  “Maybe some nipple clams too? How does that sound?” “Please don’t. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that! I’m sorry please let me make it up to you, please I want you to fuck me, not those toys, I’m sorry,” you begged him, watching in horror as he prepared the whole scene in front of you, the chair right in front of the bed.  “You can beg all you want darling, you dug yourself that grave,” he kissed you gently, pulling you up. “Maybe if you take your punishment like the good girl you usually are I will think about fucking your sweet little pussy,” he pulled your underwear down, licking along the folds one time, a moan leaving both of you. “So wet already? I barely touched you,” he derided, giving your clit a smack just to make you jump. He put the clamps on your nipples, pulling on them a few times before letting go. He sat you on top of the machine, making sure it was angled the way he wanted it, putting the vibrator on your clit. He sat down in front of you, everything standing completely still. “If you let the toy slip out or get off of it on purpose you won’t get fucked for the next week, understood?” he held both remotes in one hand, stroking his hard dick slowly. You whimpered, watching his hand move up and down, collecting his pre cum. He stood up again, pushing his thumb into your mouth and you licked it clean, thanking him. He sat down again, watching you squirm against the toys and decided to put the vibrator on the highest setting, while the dildo moved agonizing slow. He almost felt pity for you when he saw you come undone within a minute, knowing damn well how sensitive your clit is after getting your ass spanked. He turned the dildo up a notch, the mirror on your closet giving him a perfect view of your ass and the way it clenches around the toy, surrounded by bruises that already turned blue and purple. You moaned and when he pulled on the string that was attached to the nipple clamps you came a second time. Yelling out his name you pulled on his hand, taking his digit finger into your mouth and sucking on it, licking it the way he licked it. Bakugou let you have some fun before he took his finger out of your mouth, grabbing your throat. “You’re such a filthy little slut, always ready to get fucked. So needy. Your body is for me to use and abuse wouldn’t you agree?” he asked you, seeing the way your eyes water and some wispy veins burst underneath your eyes. He let go for you to answer, watching the way you come undone another time, barely able to catch a breath before he patted your cheek for you to look at him. “Yes Dynamight, only for you,” you moaned out and your eyes rolled into the back of your head, the over stimulation slowly working you up.  He made the dildo stop and set the vibrator down to let you catch your breath. He wanted to see you fucked and where would the fun be if it happens within a few minutes? “You still with me?” he asked you and you nodded your head, eyes hazy. He took a few sips of water for himself before grabbing your chin and signaling you to open your mouth. He opened his mouth and let a mixture of drool and water drip into your mouth, closing it and making sure you swallow completely before sitting down again and starting his torture all over again, this time setting the dildo on an higher setting. He stroked his dick lazily, watching the way you arched your back, your eyes rolling in the back of your head. Sweat started to form on your body, making it glistering in the soft, red light of the bedroom. He took his phone out of the sweatpants laying next to him and hitting the record button, filming the way you were shaking when you came for the fifth time. The sounds slipping on your lips were his favorite, so filthy and pitiful, your whines and please falling to deaf ears and he could come right then and there but he wanted to put you into the mating press, filling you up with his cum, watching it spill out of your sloppy pussy while twitched and panted.  “Come on now baby you know what I want to see, put on a show for me,” your eyes were barely open anymore and you were moaning mess, holding yourself up with the little bit of strength you still had left in you. “I can’t, I can’t, please stop, it’s so embarrassing,” you cried, wanting to hop off of that fucking toy and have Bakugou buried deep inside of you. “I told you to take it like a good girl, come on, I’ll even help you a little bit,” he licked his middle and ring finger, leaving them wet and ready to play with your tight cunt. He was still recording you, wanting to remember the way he got you so worked up and fucked.  He plunged his finger into your hole, camera angled at your crotch while he looked into your eyes. Bakugou could feel you clench around his finger while he curled them up, hitting the right spot every time, pulling out a string of moans and slurry curses. “Let go for me baby, be a good girl, come on, you got it, it’s okay, you can make a mess, be messy for me baby,” he told you, looking into the mirror and then down on his fingers. “Shit,” you yelled out and he stopped fingering you, stepping back to film your whole body while you came a seventh time, squirting all over the bedsheet, yelling his name and gripping the bedsheet around you, collapsing onto the mattress while the toys were still fucking into you, causing you to sob into the wet blanket. He stopped the toys and pulled you off and into his arms, kissing your forehead and stroking your cheek. “It’s okay, we’re almost done, I’m sorry baby but I have to teach you a lesson. If only you listened to me I wouldn’t have to embarrass you like that,” he explained to you, watching the way your eyes grew wide as the mention of ‘almost done’.  “No more, fuck, please,” you looked up at him through hazy eyes, tears rolling down your cheek.  You were a shaking mess and wherever Bakugou touched you, you jumped, your whole body sensitive.  “No more? I thought you wanted my dick inside that sloppy little hole? That’s very selfish of you princess. You get to come so many times and daddy not even once, do you think that’s fair?” it was a rhetorical question. He will fuck you no matter what you say. You’ve been here more than once and knew the current state you were in was his favorite.  “That’s what I thought, now,” he pulled away the drenched blankets, revealing almost dry sheets underneath. “Lay down and let me fuck you my nasty little slut,” you did as you were told, too worn out to disobey in any sort, only thinking about Bakugou's thick cock rubbing against your dripping walls, making you cum around him and filling you up. He climbed on top of you, lips locking with yours while his hands went up and down your body, landing on the string between your nipple clamps and tugging on it, loving the way you moan into his mouth and buckle your hips up, begging for his dick inside you. “You did very well, now it’s time for your reward,” he whispered into your ear, sucking on your earlobe and kissing down to your collar bone.  Bakugou big hands wrapped around your legs, pulling them over his shoulder and looking down where his dick was laying between your folds, rubbing up and down to collect your wetness. He didn’t need extra wetness, your cunt was dripping wet, but he loved the whimpers that left your lips while he did so. Taking his cock into his hand he tapped the tip on your overly sensitive clit, making you grab his muscular biceps and dig your nails into it, the soft pain pulling out a deep groan from his throat.  Katsuki teased you, only pushing in the tip a few times before you whined out his name, making him slam into you and scream his name in both pleasure and pain. He was pounding into you, loving the wet smacks your pussy made whenever he pulled out almost completely and slamming back in again. The way you gripped his arms, scratching him in the progress made him even hornier for you, some of his thrusts harder than others. “Look at you, fucking whore. All you want is my cock, that’s all you can think about all day. The way I’m going to pound into this sloppy pussy. All your tiny stupid brain can think about it having daddy’s cock somewhere inside you, isn’t that right?” you can only moan as response, causing a low chuckle to tumble from his lips. “I fucked you stupid didn’t I? A cute little bimbo, that’s what you are. A fuck toy only for me to dump my cum in, you like it when I fuck you like this? Like it when Daddy makes use off all of your holes? The way that toy was fucking your cute ass almost made me jealous. Next time I might use that hole, you would love that, right my little whore?” his middle and ring finger first circled around your clit but made their way to your ass where he buried them deep inside you, feeling his cock go in and out of you.  You covered your mouth, screaming into it, moans filling the room, with the sound of skin slapping on skin. “That’s my good girl, you came for me didn’t you? Want me to fill you up now, I know and I’m so very close,” he grunted into your ear, pulling his fingers out and pulling and twisting your nipples after he took of the clamps, wanting to play with them himself.  You clenched down on his dick every time he pulled or flicked them, making him moan with you and stopping slowly, twitching inside your cunt and letting strings of cum fill you. He waited for a moment, making sure he gave you all and pulled out. Once he caught his breath he stood up and took a view pictures of you and the way his cum leaked out of your abused hole, running down your ass.  You were shaking, not able to move at all and he smiled down at you, pulling you into his arms again.  “I love you my angel, you mean the world to me, only me. All I need is you, you know that, right? And I’m all that you need, forever,” he whispered into your ear, stroking your back before carrying you into the bathroom, ready to take care of you and remind you just how happy you are together, your little family, what more do you need?

©Kirishoshego//do not repost on any plattform

Warnings: angst and close call pregnancy

Y'all with all the trama Shiggy got, you know damn well he aint gon be a good daddy right off the bat

Baby daddy shigaraki

You looked at the small pink stick in your hands shaking in fear. "I'm..pregnant." you whimper as the faint lines began to blur from your tears. If it were anyone, absolutely anyone else, then the leader of The Legue of Villains, you would have been fine with taking care of the child on your own. But there would not be a chance of that if he ever found out.

You stand up and run to your kitchen, tossing the pregnancy test into the trash sweating profusely as you glanced into the room your new baby daddy rested in. Different thoughts swirled in your mind about how you could hide this from him. The first few months would be fine but how were you to hide it afterward? Your hands trailed down to your now flat stomach. "I got this." you mutter as you walk to your kitchen pouring you a cup of tea.

An hour later, Shigaraki trails out of the bedroom groggily, hair hanging creepily in his face as he looked at you with piercing red eyes. "Why the hell are you looking at me like that?" he asks making your heart rate pick up ever so slightly. "N-No reason just didn't think you'd be up so early, that's all." Tomura comes behind you and wraps his hands around being careful of his fingers. Even that didn't stop you from feeling faint at how close his hands were to your stomach. 

The first month was easy, you showed little to no symptoms and your stomach remained a normal size. However, that didn't stop you from being paranoid whenever a diaper commercial came on screen. A few weeks after you took the test, you went to the doctors to confirm your fears. "Yes ma'am, it looks to me that you are indeed with child." the doctor said, signing off on a few papers glancing at you, briefly acknowledging your shaken state. "If you're anything to go by, I'd say, either the father doesn't know, or you don't want it." You shook your head, "He doesn't and I don't plan on letting him know." 

The doctor put the clipboard down, "Is this your way of telling me you want an abortion? If that is the route you want to go, I won't judge but this isn't a spur of the moment thing and I want you to be positive you won't be in any danger if someone finds out." You sigh sliding your hands over your scarf-covered hair. "N-No, I think I'll keep the baby, b-but, I don't know what to do." The doctor smiles at you patting your back. "You look like you have a strong head on your shoulders, I'm sure you'll figure it out."

The third month was harder as your bump was finally showing so you could no longer wear your normally form-fitting shirts. Shigaraki had luckily stopped coming around as often due to villain things, something you were grateful for since you could finally give in to your cravings. That plan was soon compromised when Komugiri suddenly materialized on your rather 'indulgent' days. And by indulgent you mean you were propped up on the couch, shirt up, with some ice cream, toast, and two large boxes of french fries. 

"I may have lost most of my human necessities, but I'm sure this amount of eating isn't necessary for normal human consumption." You jump at the sound of his voice, quickly looking around if Komogiri brought someone else with him. "You can't tell him please!" Komugiri looked at you, misty smoke unwavering before a deep sigh erupted from him. "I know not the reason you are keeping this from Tomura, but for now I shall indulge you." You sag slightly relieved. "However." You glared at the misty man. "Now that I know you're carrying the offspring of a sought after villain, I will be checking in on you a lot more. I shall also implement a healthy diet for you and the child."

You groaned at the downright disrespectful amount of joy showing through Komugiri's voice. 

The next 2 months were a game of cat and mouse as you were forced to sneak past Komugiri's watchful eyes to give in to your cravings. "Please! You don't understand, I need a cheese dipped pretzel!" you whined as you were dragged from the pretzel stan by a goon Komugiri had brought along to do the labor for your shopping trip. "Get ahold of yourself young lady, you're causing a scene!" Komugiri reprimanded, truly sounding like a disappointed mother scolding her child. For the rest of the day you pouted, "How the hell are you even sneaking away so much, shouldn't Tomura be suspicious?" 

You would later have to admit that the meals Komugiri prepared, did make up for the food he wrongfully withheld from you. Another good thing that came from the whole ordeal was the doctor visits Komugiri took with you. Although it was rather embarrassing as he stood over the doctor, arms cross watching his every move. "Komugiri, the doctor is washing his hands, I think it's okay." you sigh flipping through a magazine for couches. Komugiri huffed and left the doctor alone, of course after he checked the temperature of the water.

Late in month 8, you were so obviously pregnant that you had developed a large waddle. Something your mother exploited. "Hah! See that's what yo ass get for making fun of me when I was pregnant with your brother!" you'd roll your eyes as you looked at your mother who had now become red in the face with laughter. "That's not fair, this is my first time being pregnant you cant make fun of me!" Your mom scoffed leaning back in her chair, "Girl please. Anyways when am I gon meet yo baby daddy? What was his name? Ziggaraki or whatever?" 

You were quiet for a moment before bursting into tears. "Mommy!!" Your mom looked thoughtfully startled at the outburst. "Girl what the hell wrong with you!" You hiccup and wipe your face, whines increasing. "He doesn't know I'm pregnant, I'm too scared to tell him!" Your mother cooed consoling your the best she could through the screen. "Aw sweety, he does know your pregnant." You wipe your eyes humming in question. "What are you talking about?" 

Behind you, something heavy hit the floor making you quickly swivel around in your chair. There in all his glory stood the man in question staring at you with concealed rage. His eyes stayed at your face before trailing down your body, irises shaking at the sight of your perfectly round belly protruding from the tight confines of your shirt. You swivel back around in your chair cringing at the fear evidently showing on your face. You shiver at the questioning look your mother was giving you but before she could say anything you turn off the video call. 

You shook in your seat refusing to turn around as you heard heavy steps walking towards you. "Turn around." You shook your head squeezing your eyes closed wishing Komugiri was here to help you. You feel the back of the chair bending at the weight being put on it. "Turn the fuck back around Y/N your I will dust this chair." He growls lowly trying to keep some sort of self-control. You refused to move making Shigaraki sigh and do it himself. 

You couldn't bring yourself to look at him so you kept your head-trained down on the floor. 'You're pregnant." Shigaraki wheezed finally letting the realization overtake him. He drops down low to his knees becoming eye level with your belly. "And I wasn't even here for most of it?" Shigaraki became angry making you stiffen and reflexively place a hand over your stomach. Shigaraki doesn't miss this and get's even angrier. "Y-You, hide this from m-me and now you're insulting me b-by acti-ng like I'd actually h-hurt you?!" he screamed at you making your hormones fluctuate from anger to sadness as tears well up in your eyes. 

"This is why Tomura! I didn't know how you'd react! You're not mature enough to handle a baby!" You scream back equally as fears flinching at a strike of pain traveling up your spin at the strain. Tomura chuckled darkly taking a step back throwing his head back in laughter. Giggling as he cards his hands through his stringy white hair and looks at you with a sharp glare. You swallow shallowly, you knew for a fact that a Tomura with a crazed smile was better than a stone-faced Tomura. 

Shigaraki swayed towards you hunched as he took in your fearful features. "Since you're so scared, why don't I make your fears a reality?" The sight of Tomura's hand coming up to your stomach sent you into fight or flight mode. You stand up and grab his wrist, "Look here Lil nigga, I don't care who you are, of how you feel, you not touching my baby." At the moment, you felt on top of the world, until you didn't as you felt something slowly drip down your leg.

Looking down, there was a thick trail of red leaving your genital area. You wail loudly at the sight, legs buckling. Shigaraki stepped away and at that moment, Komugiri materialized next to you. "Y/N!" Shigaraki stumbled, as Komugiri makes a portal and carries your body through it. 'This must be what shock is." you thought to yourself were you layed in Komugiri's arms unable to move as you heard the world pass by you.

There were sounds of frantic yelling and bright lights erupting your vision as you travel from one white room to the next. You were settled on a rather uncomfortable bed as you hear the frantic movement and an incessant beeping noise coming from your right. "Move quickly you bastards or I'll kill you all!" You internally smiled starting to become loopy likely from sedatives. 'Just Tomura being Tomura.' You frowned, 'I hope my baby won't inherit murderous intent.'

'Baby'

'Baby'

'My baby'

You jerk in the bed finally getting a clear head, "MY baby!" you yelled trying to take the needles out of your arms. "Hold her down!" came a feminine voice and you felt a series of hands push down on your shoulders forcing you to lie down. Tears rolled down your face, "My baby!" Shigaraki came near your face, "Y/N it-it'll be fine just....just...just laydown." You had never heard Shigaraki sound unsure of himself and that just angered you more as you gripped the front of your shirt. "You better keep my baby safe your I will ream hell fire on you!" you growled making your quirk startup. "Sedate her!" is all that you hear before your grip was loosened.

The darkness enveloped you and you could only see the worse ahead of you.

You shiver awake breathing heavily before trying to raise yourself off the bed. You were halted by Komugiri's hand. "W-What?" you start off but Komugiri raised a smug finger to his lips before pointing over to the left side of the room. Turning your head you gape at the sight before you. 

Shiagarki, in all his villainous glory, was sleeping in a chair shirtless with a tiny bundle of a blanket over him. "Is that?" You ask looking at Komugiri who nods standing up and walking over to Tomura, carefully removing the bundle of blankets from his arms walking back to you. 

You hear small gurgles and your heart beats faster as Komugiri sets the small weight into your arms. Looking down at the small face of your child, all your problems went away. "Hi there little one." you cooed softly at the child in your arms. The baby had the same dark skin as you but its hair was light blue like its father. "Come on, let mommy see you." you whisper booping your nose against the baby's smaller one making its face scrunch up. 

"Look, Komu, I made this!" you said still sounding slightly loopy. Komugiri chuckled, "You and Tomura are so much alike I see now."

From the other side of the room, Shigaraki jerks in his place standing up and looking franticly around the room effectively disintegrating the armrest. When he makes eye contact with you, he instantly relaxes. Komugiri excuses himself from the room leaving the two of you to awkwardly stare at each other. "So, what happened." you started off not exactly wanting to talk but you knew you had to.

Shigaraki raised his hand to his neck but didn't scratch for some reason. "Preeclampsia, a reaction to stress making your blood pressure go up." You hummed looking down at your infant. "It's so cute." you mumble, "He... it's a boy." Shigaraki chimes in as he gazes at the baby with wide eyes. You smile feeling the waterworks return. "My baby boy."

Shigaraki shuffles awkwardly as he watched you cry silently. "You want..a tissue?" You glare at him nodding. "Can we name him Daku?" Shigaraki hesitantly asks as he brings a box of tissue. "Doesn't that mean Dark in Japanese?" you ask quirking your eyebrow. Shigaraki shrugged, "I mean look at him, he is dark." You look at Shagaraki for a painstakingly long time. "Keep playing with me and I'll name him Komugriri." Shigaraki frowns at that.

"The bastard didn't even tell me and he knew the whole time!" you rolled your eyes at your partner's grumbling. "If you want to call him dark so bad how about...Yami." Shigaraki shook his head, "That's too close to All Might's real name." "I'm not even going to ask how you know that."

You two sit in silence as you gaze at your new unnamed baby. "We can't ignore the elephant in the room Y/N." Shigaraki states putting a hesitant hand on your shoulder. "Ignore what Tomura? about how you caused me to go into labor early. Like threatening to kill both me and our child?!" you said voice raising a bit. Shigaraki looked at you, gears turning. 

There was nothing he could actually say to that for no matter how you could look at, nothing he did was okay. "I...I was scared." You sighed placing your head back on your pillow looking at the tiles above you, wishing that this never happened. "Well, you scared me Tomura." The silence was deafening as Tomura silently gasped, "You know that I would never-" you groan, "No I don't Tomura! I don't know what you would do! Why do you think I hid this from you in the first place!" 

There was no response just as you expected and for some strange reason, that broke you more than getting something half-assed. Small noises bubbled from your arms drawing both your attention to it. "Hey.." Shigaraki mumbled as you slowly watch small slanted eyes open, looking up at you. "His eyes are two different colors Shig." you respond shocked as a perfect little set of brown and red eyes looked up at you. "Cool...c-can I hold him." You playfully glared at Shigaraki, "You had him all while I was sleeping!" 

You name your new baby boy Daiki, Daiki Shigaraki. You of course picked the name since it seemed that all Tomura wanted was a child with a name that represents the darkness inside him, his words not yours. 

I KINDA WANNA CONTINUE THIS

King Loki, I apologize for the rant but I would like some advice.

My father always makes me feel like complete garbage. He is always putting me down, never appreciates me, and makes my depression so much worse. I'm fixing up a house to move in with my friends but I'm still stuck at the house since my parents won't help me get my license or a car, much less a job. I cook, do dishes, take care of the pets, take out the trash, get the mail, do my laundry, wash towels, and help with their laundry. I also take care of my sick mother and while I'm currently on summer break, I'm going to college to become a clinical psychologist. Even then, my father will point out other things that I don't do, and expects me to clean the entire house every day. He always talks about how he needs to do everything around the house yet all he does is sleep, play video games, and watch television. He also says he works hard yet on many occasions he says he sits on his ass all day on his tablet. He also yells so much. I get scared every day when he starts yelling because I worry he may leave us, which he has threatened before, or he may actually hit us. He never has hit either my mother or I yet, and says he never would but he slams and throws things when angry at us so it's his way of showing us how much he wants to hit us, even if he doesn't realize it. However, not only do I have many responsibilities, My depression makes it difficult for me to do much, and he makes it worse. Even when I do try to clean the house he always makes comments such as: "About time." or "How long until it gets cleaned next time?" or "This was half assed, you didn't do it right." I have tried so hard to have a connection with him but I'm so tired of fighting for a relationship that he doesn't care about. I can't address my concerns with him because he will threaten to not take me to college and pay the bills. Do you have any advice to help me deal with my father until I can escape?

Best regards, Catrina.

“Catrina,” Loki drawls, in his smooth resonate voice. “I firstly must commend your good work. For caring for your ill mother, minding the household needs, and that you get up in the morning even if your soul is weary and your bones ache for a rest; that you keep on living even if you do not know how to anymore. Secondly, you have my deepest sympathies for your grievances. I am all too familiar with what it is like to seek the approval of a parent; only for there to be none in return.” His eyes were completely unfocused, yet his pallid features bore the most intense concentration as memories flowed unbidden.

He says nothing for a moment. Then, something in the edge of his mouth—and the corner of his eyes—resembled the ghost of a sad smile.

“Those whom I knew and called my mother and father are dead. That much is beyond dispute. They were not my real parents, but they raised me as their own. I daresay they loved me. That had been in dispute, at least in my own mind for awhile. I found out very late that my identity was a lie. Not Asgardian, not a son of Odin, I was completely unmade. That was how I felt when I learned of my true parentage. I was a fraud, a monster; it explained so much. It explained why I never felt like I fit in, why I would never be my brother's equal, why I would never get what I'd been promised my whole life.” His voice was soft, hoarse. Intent.

Loki raises his left hand and rests his forefinger against his lips as a line forms between his own eyebrows in thought.

“I have lingered around Midgard long enough to come to an understanding of how your minds tick. I shall do my best to give advice where I can.

Try, if you will, to put things into perspective. The most loving parents commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force one to destroy the person they really are: a subtle kind of murder. Even the most loving parents damage their children with the best intentions—to protect them, to guide them, to better them. In most cases, it would appear they do it by imprinting their own fears and prejudices on them.

The point is, parents are mere, imperfect people.

They have flaws, struggles and impaired judgement. They have both emotional and intellectual handicaps. Regardless of their parental role, they are afflicted by personal blockages and limitations.

But most of all, they are people who make mistakes, and who are terrified of being judged by their children.

Learn to see your difficult parent as just that; human. Learn to see their emotional immaturity as a type of disability.

With that in mind, you would do well to keep your expectations of them low.

In many ways the effect a difficult parent has on ones self is fueled by their feelings of injustice and the belief that things could be different, or ought to be different.

In other words, your expectations dictate how you feel.

You need to let go of your expectations and accept your parent for who they are.

You cannot expect someone with, say, a narcissistic personality, to act with empathy and kindness. No more than you can expect a scorpion not to sting.

Difficult parents are much easier to deal with when you accept that they will not change. So do not expect of them more than they are capable of, and you will not be disappointed or hurt.

Do not fall into the illusion of guilt, Catrina.” He warns. “A difficult parent loves nothing more than to make you feel like you’ve hurt them. Or, in a different scenario, like you’re a bad person if you do not do something they ask.

Do not fall for it. If they’re setting a guilt trap, calmly tell them that you do not appreciate being emotionally manipulated, and you will not tolerate it anymore.

Manipulators, and I should know, detest being called out on their dirty tricks.

If they continue to harass you, reiterate that you cannot do what they’re asking you to do this time, and you need them to respect that.

The trick is agreeing with everything they’re saying (how can they argue when you agree with them?) and re-stating your decision over and over again.

Now this part I find to be… far more easier said than done. You must let go of the need for your father's approval, Catrina. It goes without saying that every child needs and wants their parents’ approval. It is normal to want it, and it is normal to receive it.

Yet so many have to accept the fact that this is not going to happen. For whatever reason, their parent has chosen to withhold their approval. Some difficult parents do it as a form of punishment. While others hope to influence their child in the “right” direction.

Most likely, your father loves you, but they have a very warped idea of what parental love is.

In their misguided quest to make you into a version of themselves, they missed the chance to get to know you. And so they cannot appreciate you for the wonderful being that you are.”

He shrugs elegantly. “It is their loss. When you realize this and let go of the need for their approval, you will be able to start living your life in a whole new way.

When confronting your father, be direct and calm without expecting a specific response. That is the part you cannot control. The part that is within your control is letting your thoughts and feelings known, which is empowering.

Stick to the facts and use “I” statements such as, “I feel like my words do not matter to you when you constantly interrupt me” or “I feel scared and misunderstood when you yell at me”

Remember that manipulative parents are not known for their empathy. They will try to confuse you, go on the offensive, or assume the role of a victim.

Do not allow them to bully you into submission by invoking guilt or pity. State your case in a calm and polite manner, and stay cool regardless of their response.

Your goal is to be honest about your feelings, and to make it clear that you will not tolerate certain behaviors.” He softly clears his throat.

“Last but not least, an unhappy alternative is forgoing the relationship that is too harmful. I know, a parent is not someone you can so easily cut out of your life. But if all else fails and your father continues to cause you psychological harm, then this may very well need to be taken into considerable consideration; at least for the foreseeable future. Sometimes it is the only logical recourse.

A parent that is fundamentally incapable of showing love and support, unable to see the error of their ways after numerous attempts to communicate how their behavior or words affect you, consistently dismissive, demeaning or critical, manipulative in a habitual manner, punishing and cruel whenever you disobey, are disrespectful of your boundaries and using threats and intimidation to get what they want is a destructive force that will continue to tear you down until you put a stop to it.

It is not an easy feat, my dear. The parent-child bond is hardwired into the brain, which means children get attached to even the most awful of parents.

But consider the cost of having that toxic relationship in your life—stress breeds anxiety, depression, internalized feelings of inadequacy, and failed personal relationships.

I wish you all the best, Catrina. I truly do.”

SO, Episode 28 of Word of Honor was a roller-coaster ride.

(Spoilers, as ever, so scroll away and come back later if you want to see it unspoiled.)

They managed two entirely separate scenes in this one that had me going “Did … did that just happen? Is this really happening?” Let’s get this one out of the way first: The scene of Zhao Jing in his serial killer lair with the altar and memorial tablets and his serial killer trophies. Y’all. I swear, scene opens with a shot from behind of drunk Awful Yifu in his Fantasy Ancient China underwear staggering through a set of doors into a room with candles and draperies, and before I was able to register the rest of the set design, my brain gave a terrified squeak and started rabbiting around like, “Oh my god, please do not let this be Xie’er’s bedroom. Oh my god, they wouldn’t actually go there, not even hinted, surely that would be too far!” Then my eyeballs caught up and registered the set, so I thought I was safe, but that didn’t even turn out to be the moment in the scene that had me going “Is this really happening?” (Although I do think the fact my brain immediately jumped to that scenario speaks to the creepy vibe the show has managed to build between Awful Yifu and Xie Wang). So, Zhao Jing is a sloppy drunk and absolutely shitfaced, stumbling around and yelling at his dead brothers, and I’m sitting here watching him, feeling like I need a shower, with my skin a little bit trying to crawl off my body, and then he picks up Rong Xuan’s memorial tablet and pours an entire stream of alcohol out of the pitcher all over it, and I say, out loud, to the screen, “Oh my god, they just had him figuratively piss on that tablet.” Only, no, they didn’t, because there was no need to have him do it figuratively because then, he literally whips it out of his pants and takes a piss on the tablet, complete with sound effects, and I’m open-mouthed, thinking “Is this really happening?” As some background, I grew up in mainstream U.S. culture where ancestor veneration isn’t formally practiced - although it isn’t an entirely absent part of our cultural mythos, it’s just that now when I when I offer cultus to the Patres Patriae, it’s deliberate and intentional – but I’ve been doing ancestor work in my particular flavor of polytheism for long enough, and intensely enough, that I had a visceral reaction of disgust and horror to this. Hand literally clapped over my mouth in shock, even after watching all of his ranting at his dead brothers and spitting at his dead shifu and just generally being a disrespectful asshole with delusions of grandeur building up to it. So, yes, show, you have indeed convinced me that Awful Yifu is the worst, even in an episode that also devoted that much screentime to Prince Jin.

Fortunately, the other “Is this really happening?” moment was at the other end of the spectrum, somewhere in the face of how married Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing are, which I cannot believe passed censorship. I know I keep saying that, but every time I think I’ve adjusted to how far they’re going to go, the show laughs gay-ly as it pushes the envelope another mile down the road. Truly, this show is the gift that keeps on giving where these two are concerned, and not just because of Zhang Zhehan’s face. I realize I had to spend 50 episodes deciphering Lan Wangji’s smallest microexpression (not that I’m complaining), but I can’t believe how expressive both Zhang Zhehan and Gong Jun are in these roles, with Gong Jun’s little sadness eyebrows when WKX wants ZZS to humor him, and how soft Zhang Zhehan’s face gets when ZZS looks at WKX, and how great they both are at making all this look like a pair of adults who are in an established relationship and confident of each other. I’d be as weak as Wen Kexing if Zhou Zishu pouted at me the way he does when he tells Chengling that he can’t do anything to help decorate the Manor except observe and direct because he’s oh, so injured and frail, poor him. Wen Kexing can laugh at Zhou Zishu when ZZS pokes at him by saying the papercrafter was such a beauty! (Compare this to his reaction back in the day, when ZZS deftly manipulated him out of bringing A-Xiang along on their honeymoon adventures by calling her a beauty and implying she might draw attention away from WKX!) Wen Kexing waves kitchen knives at Zhou Zishu in (somewhat fond) exasperation! Zhou Zishu now accepts Wen Kexing piling his plate with food at the table as perfectly normal! There’s no crying in Spring Festival! They send their kid outside to watch the fireworks so they can have sex some alone time! (Merciless killers. How the fuck so adorable?) Someone must have backed up an entire truckful of money to the house of someone very important to get this aired, because what is the heterosexual explanation for … any of this?

Other thoughts:

We continue to get small things that maintain the parallels between Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishou and Gu Xiang/Cao Weining, including the mirrored theme of finding a home with a welcoming family, shown through family dinner, and expressed through WKX’s description of his former self as a “lonely ghost,” echoing A-Xiang’s self-description (to Shen Shen in an earlier ep) the same way.

HAN YING! Listen, I am stupidly attached to this bit player, and not just because he’s a familiar face (because half of Wen Xu’s screentime in The Untamed was just a disembodied head hanging at the entrance to the Unclean Realm, so it’s not like there was time to get … attached). And I say stupidly attached because ever since we first saw the way he looked at ZZS with big puppy heart-eyes, I knew he was going to be a goner. I just know they’re gonna fridge him for the next step in ZZS’s journey, because something has to pry ZZS out of Four Seasons Manor, as much as I, personally, would like nothing better than to see 8 more episodes of wedded bliss for two gay dads and their son. (OK, one thing I would like better would be if their daughter and son-in-law came to live with them, too.) At least it looks like Han Ying will get to die taking a figurative bullet for ZZS, which will make him happy and might prevent him from finding out the Glazed Armor he’s so proud of bringing is actually pointless, because don’t think that didn’t hurt to know while I watched him being so proud of managing to get his hands on it. But I’d prefer he didn’t die at all, show. Also, why on earth are there only two (completed) stories under the ZZS/Han Ying label on AO3? Because yes, I have looked. I have the search open in another tab right now. Why haven’t more people taken advantage of this guy’s utter devotion for ZZS? How are people looking at the way Han Ying reverently brushes his fingers over the single white blossom on the wall mural in ZZS’s rooms back in Prince Jin’s palace and not falling all over that?

Xie’er, oh, Xie’er. You’re killing me, here. I need someone to rescue you, you desperate affection-starved little sociopath. So, to recap, last time we met, your Awful Yifu finally let it slip that he was never ever going to acknowledge your existence in public. So now, you’re being a very clever boy, setting up a scheme to manipulate him into having to publicly acknowledge you if he’s going to claim credit for your successes (because I’m sure you can’t even contemplate failure) in service to Prince Jin. So clever, but I hate to tell you, you’re clever at everything except learning from your mistakes when it comes to your Awful Yifu. You really learned nothing from Beauty Ghost, did you? Ugh, your sad little face as you watch your hot mess of an Awful Yifu while you wait for the maids to make tea – it hurts me. Please tell me you’re playing some kind of long game, and you’re just a really great actor. Because he’s sloppy drunk, and right now, watching your face journey, I think maybe you think that makes what he’s saying true – that he’s not guarding his words, and he means it when he tells you that of course he loves you and would never leave you. “Are you still angry with me?” Awful Yifu literally asks. “Alright, I’ll apologize. I was just mad. It didn’t mean anything. We’re together in this. I’ll always stand by you.” Xie’er, you have got to stop believing gaslighting abusive men who shovel that BS. This is what they call the honeymoon period in the cycle of abuse. Seriously. This is textbook. Please stop making the same mistakes over and over again. Maybe think about the fact that your Awful Yifu is, single-handedly, the reason the Department of the Unfaithful actually exists in the first place. He is THAT AWFUL. I would like to think actually seeing his serial killer trophy room will make a difference, now that you have some confirmation of what Tragicomic Ghost told you and not the ability to wave it off as part of some he-said, she-said situation where how could we ever possibly know the truth, despite the fact that Zhao Jing has shown he’ll stab anyone in the back in his quest for power? But, then, I also thought maybe learning last ep that he never planned to publicly acknowledge you would make some kind of difference. Are you going to roll the dice again, gambler? Because I’ll tell you right now, the house always wins. (Not that you’d listen to me anymore than you listened to Beauty Ghost.)

(Also, wait wait waitwaitwait. Waitaminit. This is pure speculation and probably way too out there to be true (oh, but, someone’s going to write this AU for me, right?) Hot-mess drunk yifu tells Xie’er that they’ve been depending on each other “ever since I picked you up and brought you back home.” I can’t remember if we know anything about Xie Wang’s background at this point, but it does sound like Zhao Jing might have literally yoinked him off the street to raise him. He … he doesn’t think Xie’er is actually Yan’er, does he? Only he kidnapped the wrong orphaned urchin by mistake? I’m just sayin’, thinking back to Shen Shen’s reaction to finding out Zhen Yan was still alive, it would be exactly the kind of thing Zhao Jing would do, to keep this kid that his brother(s) wanted to find hidden right under their noses.)

Chengling and the chicken. I can’t, y’all. And Zhou Zishu’s face as soon as he realizes what Wen Kexing is telling Chengling to do – he knows this is going to be a show.

Prince Jin, you are almost as bad as Xie’r and his awful Yifu combined:

Prince Jin: Zhou Zishu, you mastermind, your super-secret spy network continues to spread everywhere, including into my very own palace. Oh, the things you must be plotting against me!

Zhou Zishu, chillin’ at Plum Blossom Manor, day-drinking, dressing up in pretty festive robes, taking advantage of his disciple’s unpaid labor so he doesn’t have to raise a finger for himself, and providing his husband with sex so incredible he is never required to actually cook: “OK, my gay husband and our son-with-two-dads, how about we just stay here together forever and be happy?”

Also Prince Jin: *Creeps on Zhou Zishu like a gaslighting m’fker*

Anyway, if Prince Jin always knew what Han Ying was up to all along, is the letter about ZZS’s father a plant, with false info? It was just kind of suspiciously hanging out in the open on Prince Jin’s desk.

FATWS Episode 4

I’m finally fucking getting time to watch this thing. 

Dramatic reactions, incoherent ramblings and spoilers under the cut. 

Right off the bat I’m feeling like the only thing I really remember about Episode Three is vaguely not trusting Sharon Carter. I’m really supposed to believe Peggy Carters Niecey, defender of Captain America and dismantler of Hydra really is selling stolen art in Madripoor? Seems fake, but okay. 

Let’s get into it. 

Have I mentioned I love Karli’s freckles? Her hair and her freckles kill me, I never understood people who don’t think freckles are cute. They are actual dots of delightfulness

AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AYO AYO AYO She is so ridiculously beautiful wtf. I’m shaving my head TOMORROW so I can be half as amazing as her. 

Wait is this a Wakanda flashback? Six years ago... ohhhh look at my goatherder Jesus Bucky, let that baby rest. WHY IS SHE SAYING THE WORDS? LOOK AT HIS EYES PLEASE STOP. This is hurting my soul. Oh god homecoming, and it’s the moment he knew Steve. Oh the tears, I can’t. I CAN’T. “You are free” I’m already crying and it’s been 1.2 minutes. 

Damn right the White Man doesn’t understand anything of their loss and shame. LISTEN TO BUCKY SPEAK WAKANDAN. I LOVE IT. Urgh she’s so beautiful. Her murder strut is impeccable. I’m in love and I’m swoooooooning. 

“It was sweet of you to defend me” Zemo take ten to twenty percent off the top there, This isn’t a date.

Hey, I feel like I don’t love that they refer to Karli as “Karli”. If she was a man, it would be Last Name Basis. “She’s a kid” “she’s a supremacist.” hmmm seeing a parallel between Wanda and Karli and the way they were treated. “She’s a kid?” She’s actually ridiculously powerful but thanks for that. (no Wanda hate here, just pointing it out) 

“My TT” ITS HIS AUNTIE BUCKY YOU’D KNOW THIS IF YOU WERE EVER INVITED TO THE COOKOUT 

Uh Zemo, maybe we don’t be the creepy guy in the coat offering children candy. I mean, the tactic worked but you could literally not be creepier right now.  Honestly I don’t know why I’m so surprised he’s keeping the Donya thing from them, duh he’s a villain, but I’m still surprised?? The sugar daddy role got me FOOLED

Sam being the one that understands what it means to be fighting to be on the other side of the “barbed wire fences” is so sad. 

BUCKY’S MAD. Sam has something against head tilts, that’s so funny to me for some reason. I DON’T TRUST SHARON. 

Why do I smell some foreshadowing with Karli’s talk about destroying the shield and how it’s a relic of a bygone era and a symbol of everyone that was left out

“take it easy before it gets weird” SAM. 

John Walker literally looks more sketchy every time we see him. Also, if you can’t say “son, just don’t” and everyone stops in their tracks, you are NOT Captain America. Its worrying me that Battlestar (battleship? lmaoooo) is starting to side with BuckySam because if there’s one thing literally every movie has taught me, it’s that the person who switches sides ends up dead and if I have to watch a POC first be relegated to sidekick and then killed I might actually riot

It’s so good to see Sam being Counselor!Sam. I think that gets so overlooked with him and I think it’s one of the most defining traits of his character. He’s not just a soldier, he’s not just brave, he’s seen the loss and he knows the struggle and he chose to help others through it while also being equally willing to suit back up and save the world. 

“Don’t patronize me” stop acting like a damn child. Why is John so twitchy, I don’t like it. OH is he really gonna say “this is easy for you, all this serum running through your veins” as if Bucky had a say in anything about in his life beyond Azzano. 

GET HIM BITCH punch his raggedy ass! 

Oh look at Bucky jumping, Winter Soldier, more like Winter Squirrel PARKOUR. Goddamn Zemo with his gun, oh no look at all that super soldier serum! I mean, you have to commend the guy for never wavering from his path. JOHN WALKER AND THE SERUM! It’s supposed to amplify what’s in your heart?? AND HE SUCKS OH NO. 

The power broker texts her “little girl” that’s so gross. 

“Separate them and kill Captain America” three months ago I would have howled at that line, now I’m like...meh. 

Sam wouldn’t have taken the serum-- not surprising. He’s a good man all by himself. No serum needed. Have you seen those arms? Actual Cannons of Freedom and Justice. “What about bucky” I love that he’s thinking about Bucky. Someone please protect these boys. 

Aw Bucky baby you’re not crazy. It’s funny to see him drink cos he definitely can’t get drunk. It’s the equivalent of some diva drinking a white wine spritzer. 

WHY IS JOHN WALKER BACK. 

THERE’S MY WOMEN OH MY GOD I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED IN MY LIFE. Do not shake her hand. John Walker, she will bite your hand off. Pointy Sticks, the Dora Milaje have jurisdiction wherever they want OMG HE TOUCHED HER omg. Look at Zemo sipping his drink LOOKING STRONG JOHN I CANNOT I CANNOT.

“Lets talk about this” Bucky is so calm. Bye bye Zemo. Oh GET it Sam with those fancy moves. 

...what just happened with Bucky’s arm. what just happened. “James” oh man waht does that mean?! Has Wakanda left him? Has he dishonored Them? My brain is moving too fast for this. 

I would like to have a moment of silence for John Walkers ego because he, a White Man (tm) and Solder (tm) and American (tm) just got his shit actually handed to him by a Black woman and he sat there and tried to more her “pointy stick” and couldn’t and then she full on did the shield kick thing while he sat on the ground and looked up at her and you know what? i think that’s very sexy of her, I will be watching this scene on repeat for the next hundred years wtf. 

Also ALSO? This is it. This is the moment where The Man (tm) can’t handle being beat so he goes and does something stupid, this is it, isn’t it? The Man Pain he just can’t tolerate? 

Oh my god Bucky’s face with his arm. I mean, it makes sense his arm would come off but to have himself literally disarmed (get it) in a fight is so... I mean it’s violating in a way, and its almost a betrayal as well but at the same time maaaaaaybe it’s a relief? Maybe its a relief to know he doesn’t always have to be a Soldier, he can take the arm off and just be Bucky?? 

Also I had to pause the show to write about this because my hand cramped up from trying to type too fast ughhh

Back into it 

ARM PORN NOISES I LOVE THEM

Whats an El Chapo? Oh wait, I figured it out. 

I love Lemar’s voice. He’s so confident talking about the serum but lets be perfectly honest, Karli Morgenthau and Steve Rogers are basically the same person a hundred years apart. If you don’t think Steve Rogers would have singlehandedly led a revolt against a world government he thought was wrong, you are 100% incorrect. Not that I think he wouldn’t have resorted to bombings etc, but also... that sort of life does awful things to people. 

WHY IS SHE CALLING SARAH. “My world doesn’t matter to America” oh sweetheart, I feel that in my soul. Sarah knows who Sam is. She knows he’s not working for John Walker. This is the first time I’ve been anti-Karli. I know she’s desperate but you don’t threaten someones babies. 

HEY LOOK THERE’S ME NOT TRUSTING SHARON AGAIN

It actually makes me angry to even see Walker carrying the shield like that. I’m aware it’s an overreaction, but your honor, I hate him. 

...Lemar? 

Don’t make me watch a POC die for some White Man’s story arc, don’t do that. 

Oh. Shit. 

Sam do something. SAM DO SOMETHING. HE’S NOT GOOD SAM! 

My god do I love watching Bucky fight. Those Kicks of Vengeance will never get old. CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKER use them wings Sam. 

Oh Hoskins is okay. Alright. 

Bucky with the good knives, I LOVE HIM. The fight scenes are always so well coordinated in WS. We see you definitely not killing when you absolutely could. 

OH FUCK HOSKINS WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT WE WEREN’T GOING TO DO THIS WHAT THE FUCK

...this makes me so mad wtf. We couldn’t have done this journey without pointlessly sacrificing a POC? No? Have to drag that trope out? Gonna make me watch another Black man be killed just so the White Guy can move his story forward. 

oh shit Walker is MAD. 

Fuck he just-- he just murdered someone with Steve’s shield. he just MURDERED SOMEONE WITH THE SHIELD AND EVERYONE WAS WATCHING. 

And look at him, he feels no remorse. He feels perfectly justified. He is DARING them to say something to him. He is America (tm) brutally silencing protests and rebellions and taking his own issues out on people he feels disrespect him and you can’t tell him he’s wrong because he can justify every drop of blood by making it about how he felt “they beat me and they weren’t even super soldiers. they disobeyed me. they should have listened to me. they killed my friend.”

I keep hearing preserum Steve saying “I don’t like bullies” and then imagining him beating the shit out of Walker. 

...That visual of the shield with blood on it... it’s so... shocking isn’t even the right word. Horrifying. Its horrifying.  

I don’t even know what to say. 

This episode was a whiplash. The writers of this series need to be commended. Also the stunt men and the fight choreographers. Fucking kudos, and now I need a stiff drink and a good cry because this episode took it OUT of me. 

I Wanna See Some Smiles

Word Count: 2,227

A/N: I feel like I haven’t posted a damn thing in years. But this request came from the beautiful @mindpalacegigglebug Thank you so so much for this request, my love. (ILYSM 🤍) I couldn’t help but sit down for a good 3 hours and perfect this lovely storyline. Enjoy! ~Michelle 🤍

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been days since Remus decided to introduce himself so graciously to Thomas… or it was in Remus’ opinion. For the first two days, it consisted of Logan calming Roman down from his anger at the entire situation and how he wasn’t there to get rid of his brother, Logan and Roman helping Patton eat properly because he kept puking just thinking of the things Remus was saying and doing, and Logan, Roman and Patton left wondering where Virgil was. For the first two days, Virgil barricaded himself in his room. He didn’t want to confront the emotions he knew the others would want to talk to him about since he wasn’t fond of them anyway. He decided it was best for everyone if he just went away for a while. By day 4, the other 3 Sides felt much better. They accepted the fact that yes, even though Remus was very unpleasant, he was still an essential Side of Thomas. There’s no getting around that fact. But they also started to get worried. Where was Virgil? Why hasn’t he been outside for the past 4 days? What was running through his mind since he was anxiety after all? Is he okay? All 3 Sides were sitting downstairs trying to figure out what to do about Virgil.

“I’m starting to get scared. I can’t imagine what Virgil has been feeling since the other day…” Patton took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes in frustration. Nothing close to anger, more of a ‘I have no clue what to do or how to do it, someone help me!’ frustration.

“He’s most likely to be confused, angry. He mostly feels like he’s failed Thomas.” Logan explained, sitting back on the couch.

“How so?” Roman asked. If anything HE should be the one feeling like he’s failed Thomas. That’s his brother after all and he had made no mention of him before and he most definitely didn’t want Thomas to find out the way he did.

“Well he stated to Thomas that he thought he could, quote on quote ‘protect’ Thomas from finding out about his Dark Sides. But clearly he is unable to do that. Thomas was bound to find out about them sometime.” Logan adjusted his tie, something he did whenever he was anxious himself.

“Well then what are we supposed to do about that, Teach? We can’t change his feelings. They’re valid but they’re completely silly!” Roman crossed his arms and shook his head.

“Roman, be nice.” Patton reprimanded. Roman lowered his arms, slightly feeling ashamed at his little outburst.

“I’m sorry but there’s no reason why he should feel like he failed Thomas.” Roman slumped in his seat. They all sat there wondering what they could do to at least get him out of the room.

“I’ll go get him.” Patton stood up. Logan and Roman looked a bit worried.

“Don’t worry. I’m gonna try and get him to my room. In and out. I’ll be back, kiddos.” With that, Patton made his way upstairs and in front of Virgil’s bedroom. Out of politeness, Patton knocked gently.

“Virgil? Hey, kiddo. It’s Patton.” He waited for a response. He heard mumbling. Something along the lines of ‘no one’s here.’ But Patton was persistent. He wasn’t about to take no for an answer.

“Virgil, I just want to talk. It doesn’t have to be long. Can I come in? Please?” The politeness and tone in his voice was always something he could never say no to. He snapped his fingers and his door unlocked, signaling to Patton he could walk in. Patton slowly made his way into the room and closed the door. That’s what Virgil liked anyway, complete privacy. Patton saw Virgil on his bed with his face buried in his pillow under the covers. He could tell by the way some of his hair stuck out. He looked like he’d been in that position for a while, with the exception of getting up for hygienic purposes and eating. Patton smiled softly and sat on his bed. He laid a hand on Virgil’s back.

“Are you alright, kiddo?” Patton asked. He knew what Virgil’s answer would be before he said it.

“Fine.”

Patton sighed and tried a different approach. Straightforward.

“Virgil, do you trust me?” Virgil’s body went stiff. He always hated intense questions like that but since it was coming from Patton, someone he knew that would never hurt or judge him, he once again couldn’t say no. A simple nod of the head was Virgil’s answer to Patton.

“Do you believe in any way, shape or form that I would do anything to disrespect you?”

Virgil shook his head. That made Patton smile.

“Alrighty. So I’ll ask again: Are you alright?” Virgil didn’t answer for a minute. Then he grew the courage to shake his head again. Patton nodded.

“Hey. Can you come out of there please?” Patton tugged on the blanket. Virgil only moved the blanket down as much as he could so his eyes, or the view of Virgil’s eyes that Patton could see behind his bangs, met his. Patton ducked down and smiled.

“Almost.” Patton took his pointer finger and pushed Virgil’s bangs away from his eyes.

“Hey, there you are.” He saw Virgil’s shoulders move up once. He laughed. That made Patton feel better.

“Well first thing’s first. You know I can’t be in here too long. Would you like to move to my room for a bit? You won’t change.” Virgil shook his head.

“Didn’t you say you trusted me, Virge?” Virgil nodded.

“Well I have a bed in there, along with a blanket. You can get back in this position over there. Please?” 5 minutes past. Virgil slowly got up and both Sides made their way to the parental Side’s room. As promised, Virgil was allowed to go back into the hiding position he was in, in his own bed. But being in Patton’s room made him feel a little less… shitty.

“Now. What’s running through that pretty little emo head of yours, hm?” Patton asked, getting straight to the point. Virgil shrugged.

“I’m gonna need some words here, kiddo.” Patton rubbed Virgil’s back. Virgil sighed.

“I don’t know…” he said softly. Oh how Patton missed the sound of Virgil’s voice, even if it did sound sad.

“You wanna know something?” Patton smiled, Virgil looked up at him.

“I think you do know. I think you know exactly what’s running through your mind but you’re just too nervous to talk about what’s running through your mind because you think people are going to judge you for having emotions even though you know that’s far from the case. That about cover it?” Virgil was amazed at how well Patton knew him.

“Yeah…” Patton smiled at Virgil’s honesty.

“Well let me tell you something, mister. You have a family now. And families don’t judge each other because they have feelings they need to work through. And we must definitely won’t judge you because of the feelings you have that Remus’ visit gave you.” Patton saw Virgil’s eyes widen and he shook his head.

“Relax. He isn’t here. And I know that’s why you’ve locked yourself in that room for the past couple of days. You don’t want to talk about Remus and you don’t have to. None of us do. But what we would like you to talk about is your feelings on the matter. Even if it’s just with me. You know, holding back your feelings isn’t good.” Patton explained. Virgil moved the blanket down to reveal his entire face. Patton’s smile became bigger.

“There you are.” Virgil gave him the tiniest of smiles.

“Did anything I said make sense, Virge?”

“Yeah. I’m just scared I guess. Anytime he comes around, it just jumbles my brain and makes my skin crawl. I don’t know. But can we talk about it together later?” Patton nodded quickly.

“Of course we can. There’s no rush at all, kiddo.” Virgil nodded. But Patton missed his smile.

“But you’re still down in the dumps, my friend. I wanna see some smiles. Hand ‘em over, please.” Patton waved his hand towards himself. Virgil whined.

“Aw Pat, c’mon it’s been a long couple days…” Patton shook his head.

“I’m not taking no for an answer, mister. Either you give me a smile or I’ll pry one out of you. So let’s see it.” Patton warned. Virgil gave him the fakest smile Patton had ever seen. Virgil then pulled the blanket over his body more and turned it away from Patton. Patton hoped he would do that. He smirked to himself.

“Fine then. Have it your way, kiddo~.” Patton jumped on the back of Virgil’s thighs and placed his thumbs in between Virgil’s back 5th and 6th ribs and let his other fingers place themselves on the space around those two ribs. Patton knew everyone’s specific spots. After all, he was the Mind Palace Tickle Monster. He felt Virgil tense up.

“Pahatton… dohohon’t you dare…” Virgil warned, already letting some giggles slip through. This made Patton want to keep going.

“You chose your fate, Virgil~. Now you must suffer the consequences.” With that, Patton added pressure to his thumbs and let his other fingers dig into Virgil’s other ribs, but he kept those thumbs secure surprisingly well.

“PATTON NOHOHOHO!!” Virgil started squirming. Patton bent down to Virgil’s ear, a death spot of Virgil’s.

“Patton yes~!!” He added a few tickly kisses to Virgil’s ear, as he bathed in all the laughter Virgil provided him with. He still couldn’t see Virgil’s smile since he was still under the blanket.

“I wanna see that smile now, Gigglebug!” Patton switched to the other ear and Virgil flinched and a blush appeared onto his face.

“BAHAHAHACK OFF, PAT!!” Virgil tried to bring his hands behind him and push Patton’s arms away, but in the position he was in, on his stomach, that was only wishful thinking.

“I will once I see that smile~!” Virgil didn’t give him an answer other than more squirming thanks to all of Patton’s teasing. Patton was waiting for this moment.

“Welp. You’ve made your bed, Virgil. Now, you must lay in it.” Patton sat back up and stopped his fingers from moving. Only to add even more pressure to his thumbs in the spaces of Virgil’s ribs and dig into it with the tips of his finger tips. Virgil let out a noise that could only be described as… nevermind. Patton couldn’t pinpoint what to describe the noise Virgil just made, but it did satisfy him.

“PAHAHAHAHATTON!! NOHOHOHOT THERE!! DAHAHAMNIT!!” Virgil’s squirming became harder, Patton felt like he was on a ride.

“VIRGIL! Language! Don’t make me get my thumbs on those hips!” Patton scolded. All of a sudden, Virgil turned on his side for 2 reasons: 1. To get Patton off of him and 2. To have an excuse for Patton to do as he said and attack his hips. Patton wasn’t an idiot. Especially when he was in a ler mood. He noticed and focused on everything. He knew Virgil and why he did that. He wanted to laugh, he needed to laugh. After the past couple of days they’ve had, he most definitely needed to laugh.

“Ah… I see. You want me to get those hips of yours, huh~?” Patton asked, giving Virgil a break. Virgil’s blush darkened. He shyly nodded. Patton ran his fingers through Virgil’s hair to help him calm down.

“Ask~.” Virgil’s eyes popped out of his head.

“WHAT?!”

“You heard me~. Ask the Tickle Monster for hip tickles, V~. Then you can get alllll the hip tickles your emo heart desires.” Patton booped Virgil’s nose. He guessed Virgil was more worn out than he thought because he complied unusually quickly.

“...can I get hip tickles?” He mumbled. Patton wouldn’t be as evil as to make him speak up or anything. He knew this was to help Virgil feel better, not an actual tickle session.

“Of course you can get hip tickles, Virge.” Patton laid his thumbs onto Virgil’s hips, right above the bone. Patton was always very specific as to where he placed his fingers during a wrecking. It makes for even more fun!

“You can get… ALL THE HIP TICKLES!” Patton rapidly dug his thumbs into Virgil’s hips while expertly holding them down with the palms of his hands to keep Virgil from bucking.

“OH GOHOHOD!!”

“Don’t be embarrassed, kiddo! At least we both get what we want today! I get to see your precious smile, and you get tickles! It’s a win-win situation!” Patton finished off that statement with a deep, hard and long raspberry to the center of Virgil’s stomach. Virgil screamed. He was always an easy target for raspberries.

After another couple of minutes of torture, in Virgil’s opinion, Patton backed off of Virgil, as promised and sat next to him. His back leaning on his headboard.

“Feel better?” Virgil smiled up at Patton and nodded after he had calmed down and regulated his breathing. He then hesitantly laid his head on Patton’s lap. Patton was to screech from preciousness. He brought his hand back to his hair again and watched as Virgil’s eyes began to fall down.

“Thanks, Patton.” Virgil said shyly. Patton kissed the top of his head.

“You’re so very welcome, kiddo.”

Here DOAFP fandom, have some organic, locally-sourced, home-grown pain. This is basically just me, a scarred older sibling, projecting on Bobby, another scarred older sibling. I really reached into my post-loss psyche for this, so I hope you enjoy the headcanons and meta (AKA I hope you shed at least one tear).

It won’t let me link it here so the post that inspired this is under the read more at the bottom ✨

- When I first watched doafp, I couldn't understand Elena's aversion to Sam becoming a prominent figure in her mom's and her life. Now I understand it almost too perfectly. There was never supposed to be someone after Robert. He and Gabi were deeply in love and happy. Robert was it; he was the first and true love of Gabi's life. Sam showing up probably felt like a huge and utterly disrespectful slap in the face of Robert's memory, because he wasn't even supposed to be there. I don't know if that's as eloquent as I wish it was, or if it makes sense, and it probably sounds really mean to Sam, but it's not even really about him. It was always supposed to be Robert; Sam hasn’t earned the right to be apart of or associated with her family

- After Robert dies, Gabi and Bobby make it a habit to find and keep photos and recordings/videos of Robert, even if the latter only has him saying one sentence. They won't make Elena join them for the search, but after they find some of those old audios of Robert, they'll sometimes play them back for little Elena

- Bobby put up the keep out sign (I credit this to a few other blogs for discussing this tho) because that's where he would cry sometimes. He actually used to be pretty close with Elena, but after he put up that sign and started distancing himself from them a bit so they wouldn't see the times he cracked, he got a little more short and jaded with her. It's that, plus just growing into a teenager and stuff. And I'm not saying that he and Elena have a bad relationship, but he's become more snappy and has more walls up than he used to

- Sometimes Elena feels bad because she doesn't always remember her dad's voice. She was pretty young when he died, so even though she recalls it a bit, and the recordings help, it's been a while since she's talked to him in person, so of course she doesn't quite remember what it's like to actually talk to Robert and she's forgotten some of his mannerisms. She likes to think she's all done (she marked the stages down in her grief journal after all) but grief isn't linear or all that rational, so it hits her hard sometimes

- I keep reading as an action close to my heart because that's a strong bond me and my mom shared. She would rec books to me, and we would joke and talk about them, or she would hint to some future event and then refuse to tell me until I caught up to that part. So Elena and Bobby do something similar in their grief. Elena has writing and words, because that's something Robert loved if I remember correctly (but if I’m not and that’s not canon, then I now declare it so) and Bobby has tennis. But besides tennis (I sent a couple anons to @freshlybakedfandoms about it but I'm not sure where she went) Bobby also was taught to play guitar by Robert (I liken it to Devi Vishwakumar and her harp) so when he misses his dad or is just sad, he'll take out his dad's old acoustic and strum

- (This next one is something I also think a lot about so this is pretty much 98% projection) Bobby thinks sometimes about the fact that he was never able to come out to his dad. He hadn't really started growing into that part of himself yet, and he never got to show it to his father. He wonders what he would have thought of him. Would he be angry? Would he dismiss him and say it was just a phase? Bobby didn't think so, but a little part of him insisted that you could never be too sure. After he comes out, Gabi and Cami assure him that Robert would've been so proud of him and would've loved him regardless (Since we know virtually nothing about him, I maintain that Robert was one of those dads who teases their kid relentlessly about their crushes and I think he would've done that with Bobby and eventually Elena)

- When Elena's quince rolls around (if she chooses to have one of course), Sam dances with her during the father-daughter dance. A part of her still hurts, still aches and wishes that Robert were dancing with her too; still knows on some fundamental level that he and Gabi had planned for this day, but he had simply never made it. But she's known Sam long enough that she feels comfortable here. Nobody can replace Robert, but Sam is her family, and it feels right like this.

- I might do some more research and deliberate, but for the moment I'm saying that Robert had cancer, I’m thinking along the lines of colon. My mom was terminal, but idk if I should make Robert terminal? Maybe towards the end. Or maybe he was diagnosed as incurable early on but Gabi kept it from the kids because, tbh, being told your parent is balancing on that kind of edge is traumatic for them. So anyways, I’m going on that assumption for this last point, and I’ll see if I can recover some of my old knowledge and talk about technical stuff later if anybody would like to hear it

- Elena and Bobby were both pretty young. Bobby understood about PET scans and tests somewhat, and knew generally what different answers from doctors meant. Elena mainly just understood what was happening by reading her parents' and brother's expressions when getting lab results in from the doctor. They both remember on some level what it was like when Gabi would leave the kids with Cami and take Robert out to the car (later she would have to help him) and they would all feel like they were holding their breath until they got back and confirmed that everything was ok (and later, the little shocks of fear when the answers were no longer as positive and there was more apprehension and risks. After all, cancer doesn’t deal in absolutes)

- Bobby can still remember Robert when he had to stop walking around a lot. He still remembers the phone call that Cami got from his mom, saying that something had gone wrong, and if this last treatment didn’t work, he wouldn’t have much time before he passed. Still remembers Cami rushing into a room when she got that call, and trying to hide what was happening until Gabi could get home and explain it; but Bobby was a sharp kid believe it or not. He heard about the treatment, heard Cami crying. He still had hope... but when Robert came home in a gurney, when he could barely stay awake sometimes, when his voice was quiet and his skin was a little jaundiced, Bobby felt incredibly empty. But Robert always had a smile for his wife and his beautiful kids, even if it was small and very tired, his eyes still crinkled the same. He always had a smile; right up until they had to say goodnight and get some sleep one night. And then... he passed.

- After he passed, the Cañero-Reeds needed help, and a lot of Gabi’s coworkers would bring food or materials if they were running low. Cami and Danielle would babysit and would distract the kids when Gabi needed a good cry.

- Like you’d imagine, and because of what is sort of implied in canon and in my own head, the kids dealt with it in different ways. Bobby put up that sign, and withdrew. He wasn’t awful, but his patience with certain people got a bit shorter and he was a bit quieter. And he was a really good helper when he had the energy and he cared deeply, but he would sometimes get physically and emotionally exhausted after helping Gabi/Elena/Cami/anybody else with something and would go into his room or mentally tap out to recharge. He took comfort in things that seemed natural and that he sometimes took for granted before, like video games and skateboarding (hehe bobby skateboards. Anybody second me on this?) and clothes etc... and other stuff. A lot of materialistic things or experiences that he would skip out on before. But they bring normalcy back to his life now so he loves them for that.

- Bobby doesn’t wanna think about big themes or anything anymore, which I can’t remember but I think it was Vi (freshlybakedfandoms, again, idk where she is and I hope she’s ok) who said he was a math and science person and I think that as much as that could transfer over to those subjects as well, it’s much harder to avoid existential and emotional themes in English and History class and Bobby doesn’t like it as much as Elena does for that reason. He had to live with the back and forth of his dad’s treatments and tests, so math and science is comforting because it’s more concrete (There could be a million arguments for why he would distrust math and science because of his dad’s passing though, I realize) Ultimately, though, it reminds him of Robert too much.

- On the other hand, after a period of shock and confusion, Elena threw herself into new things. First it was a grief journal, to make sure she was going through the motions. Then she read a lot, and when she felt too alone or like she wasn’t doing enough, like she was stagnant, she’d just find something to focus and persevere on again. That feels like her personality type to me; something is wrong so let’s fix it right away. But that could also transfer sort of negatively into “Something feels off or I’m very sad, let’s get this thing done and be productive so we can put off having to confront that but at least we get work out of it” but I could be entirely wrong (this is based off some of my family members and how they dealt with the loss.) And Elena throws herself into history and english because her dad loved it, and she wants to remember more of him. Because she believes words have power and history is a lesson and that’s incredibly interesting for her

rule number 3 (d.malfoy)

description: dating draco wasn’t always a walk in the courtyard; nothing ever is. when a certain rule is broken, can they ever fix what the both of them swore to never break?

pairing: draco malfoy x fem!reader

warnings: light cursing

requested: yes / no

taglist: @jud3cardan @potatothingsz​ 

there were a multitude of things that you and draco had agreed upon in the duration of the past seven months of your relationship. one: don’t let the other go to bed angry. two: always say ‘i love you’ before parting. and three: don’t say things you don’t mean during an argument.

there were a few other unspoken ‘rules’ that you and draco both abided by, but those were the big three you two considered. the first one came up about a month into the relationship; you and draco had gotten into a small dispute regarding his flirtatious encounters with some nameless slytherin in the great hall. draco thought you were being too dramatic, and it resulted in one night of ignoring him. three nights later, he broke down and couldn’t stand the thought of you staying mad at him for more than a few minutes. from then on, you agreed on rule number one.

rule number two came from a night of draco’s own self-sabotage and reeling mind. you were late to board the hogwarts express during your first winter holiday together; he was reluctant to stay behind while you were away with your parents at home. in a dizzy, you hadn’t had the chance to say ‘i love you’ before being ushered onto the train. one week later when you arrived back at hogwarts, draco had nearly toppled you over with worry that you stopped loving him all of the sudden. 

rule number three had yet to come up from a past situation. rather, it was both of your pasts that had instilled a slight trauma in the both of you. it was much more mature this way, you thought, and you vowed to never let your emotions get the better of you despite how absolutely infuriating he could be during your spats. 

well, it had yet to come up. until tonight. 

here you were, standing in his dorm with your face flushed with tears and tinted a bright shade of red from anger. you two had never fought like this, but you felt as if it was justified. the end of the year was fast approaching and you had invited draco to stay at your home with your parents for a few weeks during the summer, unable to bare the thought of nearly three months without his presence.

draco nearly laughed in your face as you brought it up, saying how it would’ve been much too soon into your relationship to be staying with each other for a multitude of weeks at a time. you didn’t even bother mentioning the fact that you had stayed in each other’s dorms for the past few months now, being able to count on one hand how many times you’ve slept alone since winter holiday ended. 

while it upset you, you understood that draco’s parents weren’t exactly like yours. that wasn’t the reason for your tear-stained cheeks and clenched fists. what really made you upset was how open he was about staying with pansy for a period of time during summer; they had a very loud conversation about it during your lunch hour.

the thought of draco staying with pansy instead of you made your stomach churn. you had no reason to dislike pansy; you actually thought of her as one of your greatest friends since you began attending hogwarts. now, however, you couldn’t help but want to spit in her pumpkin juice due to her blatant disrespect and disregard of boundaries. 

“i just can’t believe... you would rather stay... with pansy... than me,” you choked out, sniffling lightly in between your broken words. draco looked at you like you had gone mad, as if the entire situation wouldn’t have been ludicrous if the shoe were on the other foot. 

“calm down, y/n. she’s just a friend and nothing more. you really need to stop getting your knickers in a twist over this. you’re acting like a possessive child,” draco scoffed, staring emotionlessly at you with his arms crossed over his chest. 

you didn’t know what hurt more: his lack of regard for his twisted name-calling, or the fact that he couldn’t see how truly fucked up the entire situation was. 

“me? a child? draco, i am just trying to understand why you’re so against staying with me for summer. am i really that awful to be around?” you questioned, letting your own insecurities get the better of you for the moment being. you couldn’t help yourself; given the situation, any sane person would question their significant other’s love and loyalty. 

“sometimes, yes, you are too much to handle. you have really been getting on my nerves for the past few days and i don’t know if i can really stand spending a few weeks at a time with ONLY you. pansy seems like a much better option at this point.” draco appeared completely complacent as he spoke this words, twisting the knife deeper and sharper into your gut. fresh tears spilled from your eyes as he spoke, and you bit down on your lip to suppress the sobs that were threatening to escape. 

“you’re breaking rule number 3, draco,” you warned, hoping to ease him out of his fit of rage and frustration. draco only laughed coldly at this, making your heart ache with an intense ferocity. 

“i’m not breaking shit, y/n. i meant all of it.” 

you didn’t know what came over you; your emotions were heightened to an incredibly unfamiliar level. you felt the anger, the sadness, the feelings of betrayal all rush through you. and suddenly, you were pushing past him in a hurry.

“i hate you, draco malfoy.” 

and those were the last words you had spoken to him before you stormed out of his dorm room towards any room but your own. 

-

the week past painfully slow. you had spent the majority of your time in the greenhouse or library, two places you knew draco wouldn’t dare to enter unless absolutely necessary. other than that, you were able to reside in your dorm without intrusion, other than your friends who came to check up on you every once in a while and bring your meals. 

of course, you didn’t mean what you said. you could never hate draco, no matter what he did. still, you couldn’t shake the feeling of what he said to you; how pansy was the better option to stay with. as the week droned on, you questioned if he was only referring to their summer plans. 

your friends tried to cheer you up. they often brought your favorite chocolates and books to keep you from staring at the ceiling all day. you didn’t dare escape the comfort of your dorm; you knew too much hurt lay on the outside of these walls.

but you couldn’t deny that you missed him. you missed his laugh and his smile and his awful attempts at cracking a joke. you missed his warmth and his lips that always welcomed you and bid you goodnight. you missed every part of him, only you didn’t know if he missed you back.

this night was like any other. you had a book in your lap, reading under the candlelight in the seated window of your dormitory. every once in a while, you found yourself lost in thought with your head leaning against the stained glass, your eyes burning holes into the dim light of the window pane. 

a sharp knock on your door made you jump abruptly in your seat. you furrowed your brows in thought, wondering who could’ve been at your door at this hour. it must’ve been close to midnight now. 

“come in,” you shouted, brushing off your anxieties figuring it was just hermione with another book for you to add to your collection. 

the door knob twisted open, the door slowly creaking open as you placed the book face down on the table beside the window. the person you thought to be hermione was the farthest from, actually. 

your breath hitched as you caught sight of the white-blond hair entering the room. he came in swiftly, shutting the door quietly behind him. 

your eyes welled with tears as he looked at you. this was the first time you had seen him since you had your fight a few nights prior. he looked just as awful as you did; his eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks and nose were spotted with flecks of red. 

“can we talk?” draco asked, his voice sounding rather timid under its layer of hoarseness. you nodded silently, staying sitting in the window seat and tucking your knees against your chest. he slowly walked towards you, his head hung low with his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his pajama bottoms. 

“i miss you...” draco trailed off, his eyes darting up to glance into yours. you pursed your lips as tears threatened to spill down your cheeks. 

“i miss you, too,” you confessed, gnawing on your lower lip. draco let out a deep exhale, running his hand through his hair. you glanced at him from your spot in the window, taking in his presence. he radiated an aura of sadness, which was normal given the circumstances. you hated to see him sad, but you reminded yourself that it was his words that led you to speak untruthfully. 

“i’m sorry about what i said about pansy. i-i didn’t mean it. i was being stupid and i was frustrated because i was stressed, and i took it out on you. from the bottom of my heart, y/n, i’m so sorry for saying things i didn’t mean,” draco spoke, his voice caught in the back of his throat in attempt to maintain his cries. you nodded slowly at his words, soft tears poking out and rolling from the corners of your eyes.

“i forgive you,” you mumbled, quickly blinking away the fresh tears that were rolling down your cheeks. draco’s head snapped up as you sniffled, and suddenly he was pacing towards you, crouching down so he was now eye-level with you.

he caressed your cheek with his hand, wiping away the few stray tears with his thumb. he looked utterly wrecked up close; only at this proximity could you see the dark bags that hung low under his eyes and the clear redness that resided in the normally bright whites of his eyes. 

“i love you, and i would love nothing more than to spend a few weeks with you and your family,” he spoke earnestly, his bright eyes boring into your own. you let out a faint smile through your still-teary eyes, resting your hand over draco’s as you leaned into his caress.

“i love you, too.” a smile of his own poked at the corners of his mouth. he wrapped you into his arms suddenly, holding you tightly against him as he buried his face into the crook of your neck. 

you let your arms wrap around his neck, sighing in relief against his touch as you ran your hands through his hair in comfort. an apparent dampness pooled in the crevices of your collarbones from his own shed tears, making you only hold him tighter against you. 

“did you mean it when you said you hated me?” draco asked, his voice barely above a whisper. you sighed in remorse, pressing a soft kiss to his temple before leaning your head onto his own.

“of course not, love. i could never hate you. i’m sorry i said it; i didn’t mean it and it was foolish of me to say that,” you spoke sympathetically. his arms wrapped tighter around your waist as he poked his head up from the crook of your neck. his eyes were glistening with tears, but a soft smile lingered on his lips. he pressed a soft, reciprocating kiss to your forehead. he leaned his forehead against your own, letting out a shaky breath of relief. 

“i forgive you. i don’t know how i could ever live without you,” draco cooed sweetly before pressing another feather-light kiss to your lips. you smiled against his softness, reminiscing in the familiar and nostalgic taste of peppermint. 

“i love you, rule-breaker,” you spoke softly, his lips still brushing against yours as you let out a faint smile. draco chuckled lightly at your words.

“i love you more.”