Tumgik
#but like fucking if i try to relax i dont do things. i cant clean my kitchen or my room or take out the trash or do my laundry
opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
Text
...
#yet again i fail to convince my counselor i have executive function problems. mostly its bc i dont think well in the moment but also i just#feel kinda weird rn so i was having trouble making my thoughts connect. but i swear to christ i do have problems making my executives#function. i think the issue is im a grad student so i do well in school. not that it matters bc i kno loads of grad students with pretty#god awful adhd. one of my former lab mates was like. Adderall barely made her normal. and yet she was still a phd student#so like. its possible to have executive function issues as a grad student. the problem with me is the obsessive thoughts and self#destructive behavior so to her it sounds like im telling myself that i cant get my brain to work unless i put myself under extreme pressure#rather than i cant get my brain to work so to cope im putting myself under extreme pressure bc if i dont nothing gets done#but like fucking if i try to relax i dont do things. i cant clean my kitchen or my room or take out the trash or do my laundry#and im not like not doing it bc i dont wanna. these things r causing me active distress but i cant flip the switch that makes them happen#ive gotta write a grant proposal. read a paper. and find a paper to discuss by tomorrow morning. i had time to do all of this before but i#didnt do it. y didnt i do it? fucking i dont kno. ugh. whatever. i got refered to a psychiatrist so well see what happens there#i did accidentally set the meeting to when i meet with my advisor tho. oops. also my counselor said it sounds like im a rat running on a#wheel. which is accurate but also a really fucking funny thing to have said abt u. ur r a scrawny neglected lil rat. boohoo.#idk what type of medication she thinks i should b on. like what symptom r we trying to exhaust? the 0cd or the mood issues?#i dont even kno what the issue is. not that i guess it matters. idk. i need to read and write. fucking hell#unrelated
7 notes · View notes
tgcg · 12 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
an open fly walking
i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now
TG: hey karkat
CG: YEAH?
===
TG: you ever noticed you like
TG: walk weird
CG: WOW, OKAY.
CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?
TG: pff
===
TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity
TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but
TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man
CG: I DO???
TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault
TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale
TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity
TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it
CG: SERIOUSLY?
===
TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but
TG: yeah
CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.
TG: im not fucking with you striders honor
TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything
CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.
CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.
TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me
CG: ON IT.
===
===
TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude
CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.
TG: dont your feet ache
===
CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.
TG: damn i didnt think that through
TG: my shades
CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.
TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with
TG: ugh
===
TG: guess its karma
CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?
TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor
TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing
TG: just conjecture i mean
CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.
TG: yeah probably
CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.
===
TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets
TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot
CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.
CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.
CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".
TG: well look at it this way
TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass
TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol
CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.
===
TG: also screw this can i use your shirt
TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up
TG: i cant see dick
CG: UH
CG: SURE, I GUESS.
TG: cool
===
TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right
TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night
CG: YEAH.
CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.
CG: BUT
CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.
TG: see yeah i sound it off and
===
TG: wait really?
CG: YEAH
CG: I DON'T KNOW
CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.
===
CG: IT'S LIKE
CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.
CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.
TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing
CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.
TG: you think thatd be heroic or just
CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.
CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?
TG: hah
===
TG: but uh
TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth
CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.
CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.
TG: oh
CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.
===
TG: heh
TG: well get this
TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free
TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues
TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time
TG: take that and some of this
TG: im packin punches
CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!
CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.
CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.
TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here
===
CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?
TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given
TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool
CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.
3K notes · View notes
kuni-is-daddy · 1 year
Text
Thinking about gojo switching up from sending you chills to moaning for you to make him cum
Gojo satoru x female jujutsu sorcerer reader
1.2k words
Ft: Shower BJ
Gojo x Female reader smut
Sub gojo m!+f reader
MINORS DNI
Tumblr media
You opened the door too your luxurious penthouse. Clothes drenched in rainwater mixed with purple and red blood of cursed spirits and your own. Walking through the living room you were greeted to the 'sleeping' form of gojo. Laid out on the couch surrounded by which looked like hundreds of sheets of paper. You took a peek at him from behind the couch, Wondering if he truly was asleep since his blindfold was still on. "Toru? baby, are you still asleep?" you said while tapping his shoulder. But the taller man didnt move. Taking a look at the papers that even made the 'ever so strong' gojo satoru fall asleep you realized it was paperwork requesting the execution of "Yuji itadori" to be delayed. 'Again with this yuji kid..Gojo really has a soft spot for him' You stepped away from him, taking off your blood drenched jujutsu uniform and only wearing a tank top and shorts. "Hmm..whats this babygirl? ya putting on a show for me already?" you looked up with an embarrassed yelp at the sudden warm grip around your waist. "So you werent asleep toru... you pervert..." he grinned at your remark. "Mmmm..nah..but if me sleeping leads to seeing your fine ass like this..maybe i should princess." he trailed and rubbed his hands on your breasts. leaving petals of kissing along your neck. "Toru~ stop..needa get cleaned up~" you put your hands against his, weakly trying to shoo his arms away while sinking into his touch. "Oh yeah? want daddy to help you get cleaned up?" he shifted your ass closer too him, now nudging against his hard on. Only for you to suddenly remember why you we're even 'dirty' in the first place. You pulled away from him, leaning down to shift through your skirt pockets with your ass fully on display. Arousing gojo, he began to pull down his blindfold. Wondering if you wanted him to take you on right then and there. "Take this stupid fucking finger you guys look for." you flashed it in his face with an irritated expression, completely shifting from the burning sensation he almost derived you in. "Hmm whats this baby?"
he sarcastically tilted his head while examining the finger. "Dont play dum toru. Its sukuna's finger." he shifted his vision over to your arm. Noticing a long patched up wound along it. "The higher ups kept talking about retrieviNG sukuna's fingers and blah blah..." gojo gave a light smile at your impression of the elders. "So....I went around the forest for a while and..Got one for you." Gojo rushed into your embrace. caging you in a hug while lightly lifting you off the ground. "THIS IS GREAT Y/N. DO YOU KNOW WITH THIS MEANS?" he yelled. "It means... I wont have to do your job?" you smirked. "Well...maybe for now- but seriously, this means we have some SERIOUS leverage for when it happens." you gave a confused expression. "When...what happens toru?" "When i kill the higher ups and start a new world within jujutsu." you chucked at his ideals. "This again toruu. Cmonn you talk about this everyday...cant we just bask in the way things are now?" he lowered you down back on the floor. "Y/n. things are different now. Yuji..Yuuta..and many more sorcerers are going against the ideals of the-" "The elders and higher ups. iF wE puT mInE And yoUR studEnts togetheR." you mocked him. "toru please..i know you care about this but can you not get yourself so worked up all the time? stress is no good for that handsome face of yours~" he sighed and sat back down asyou perked up and give him a kiss on his cheek. Watching as you walked upstairs and put your clothes in a basket.
Smutt:
You basked your hair through the warm water coming from the shower. Making a relaxed sigh as it coated your scalp. "hah.. this is what i needed. a break from everything..maki is with panda and toge. Gojo is doing..whatever he does." You coated your body in soap while humming your favorite song. Up until you heard a click of the doorknob. God. the last thing you wanted was some cursed spirit coming into the apartment because of the rumors you heard that they we're attractive to sukunas finger. so you began expecting the worse. You nervously held the washcloth in your hand. Hoping you could smack the spirit in time. A hand creeped around the curtain and you instinctly wrapped it around you while slapping at god knows what was on the other side. The being grabbed your tiny hand. You opened your eyes panicked to realize it was only gojo. "T-Toru?! what are you doing in here? I thought you were a spirit." this time you intentionally tried to slap at him again. Only for his infinity to block you mid attempt. "Well princess..you did want me to relax...Could you help me out?" You blushed at his request. Hiding your face behind the curtain while hearing the sounds of his giggles while unzipping his clothes. "F-fine..just dont try anything sneaky!"
he stepped into the warm shower with you. Watching as you rubbed the cloth around your chest. "Want help baby?" You nodded embarrassingly as he lathered the soap around your neck, slowly reaching down to your breasts. Your breathing started to become uneasy. Having a perfect view of gojo's lean and beauitiful body. How his chest practically glowed as the water drenched him. "Yeah? you like the view babygirl, this body is all for you~" he smirked. Now putting the cloth down and rubbing your boobs with his bare hands "S-satoru~ mmm stopp..." water rushed down your face, making your lips glow. "Shit..Dont think i can stop now princess. You look too good for daddy...Need to taste you." he pulled away from your breasts, closing you in against the shower walls and into a sloppy kiss. "Toru~ ah...fuck wait~" he came closer to you, biting along your neck and whispering in your ear. "Keep moaning f' me baby~ I want you so fucking bad y/n .im so hard right now...fuck.."
he guided your hand onto his cock. "Can you feel it princess? wanna take you right now baby you make me so fucking horny~" Gojo looked down on you with his glowing blue lust filled eyes. Right now he didnt care what was going on in the world. He wanted you to touch him, To make him feel good. You slowed moved your hand around his cock. Rubbing the tip as his grip tightened around your hand, hoping you wouldn't stop there. "Oh...fuck..more baby...move those sexy fingers of yours on daddys cock." You smirked over gojos desperation. Letting out loud moans within the steam of the shower as you pumped his cock. "Am I doing good for you toru?" He nodded his head vigorously while biting on his upper lip. *F-fuck yes y/n..feels so good~ Im so close...oh shit baby girl~" gojo sunk near your shoulder. Moaning in your ear and leaning against you as your pace quickened. "Ah....ah..fuck m' gonna cum. Baby...Y-Y/n." Gojo choked up on his words. "Yes toru~?" "Wanna..ah...wanna cum in your mouth baby.. please." He ruffled his hand through his hair. Pushing back as the water coated his vision. You got on your knees, watching as gojos thick cock slowly disappeared in your mouth. "SHIT~ Oh God your mouth is so fucking warm~" he grabbed onto your hair with his hand, having you bob your head back and forth while your eyes teared as he chased his high. "AH- FUCK. FUCK~ IM CUMMING- Y/N!!"
He shot ropes of his cum into your mouth as it oozed down your throat. "Hah...oh shit baby~ made me cum all down your throat~ now swallow it for daddy~" he cupped your face. Watching as you swallowed, then stuck your tongue out.
"good girl...now let me clean you up princess~"
207 notes · View notes
mintys-musings · 1 year
Text
rinne thoughts are strong rn hold on. like... agreeing to mutual free use for a few days...
NSFW under cut~!
rinne strikes me as the type of guy to really enjoy messy sex so expect to be cleaning up frequently or at least needing wipes nearby at all times if you both agree to this free use thing
his favourite thing would be prone boning or fucking you while you lay on your side, trying to do something else like watch TV or play games. just seeing you at your most relaxed while he fucks you senseless gets him going
its no surprise he gets horny frequently, but i dont think he's sticking his dick into you himself as much as you think
when he does, he'll leave you drooling, tear stains down your cheeks, sniffling, overstimulated- i mean... you both agreed to free use. he's gonna go all out
what he really likes is just having you sit pretty on his lap while he plays with your body. he'll get you off as many times as you can possibly handle if you get needy, but really he just likes groping you. he likes touching every bit of your body and just massaging you slightly. you'll end up feeling like both a fidget toy and a fleshlight sORRY SGDJDG
would love you overstimulating him. cocky bastard just likes to push his limits. and since you each have free reign over each other, he practically begs for it. please suck him off gently as he softens up again. he wont be soft for long and the feeling of your mouth is like heaven to him
if you somehow are more horny than he is on his most down bad days, he's gonna be the one mind broken by the end of this. he's in love with anyone that could challenge him like that and would keep going until his balls are drained and he's shooting blanks. delirious, drooling, fucked out of his mind rinne amagi is such a yummy image
wouldn't mind if you wanted to peg him, but he's not gonna make it easy. he will be annoying until you fuck him so good he's sprawled out, abs covered in his own cum, and ass destroyed
if you were comfortable with it, he's also the type to pull you to the side the moment he feels even slightly horny in public. fucking in dark alleyways and parks after dark turns him on even more
would encourage you to jack him off under the table if either of you felt the urge at a random restaurant and he'd gladly return the favour.
also adding, big fan of just grabbing your ass in public. has nothing to do with the free use thing. he just likes holding it and having other people see so they know youre with him. he's very protective/possessive hhhhuuuogghhgghmmmnngggh
if you can get pregnant, he's carrying condoms everywhere since ibara would actually kill him if he got someone pregnant. but if you were okay with it, you are getting bred during this free use period. there's no question. he jokes that he needs to make an heir to the village so raise your hips and make sure his seed takes
if you cant- he's still carrying condoms because it's convenient because lube, not leaving a mess in a public location, etc.
slots his dick right between your thighs at night when you both sleep and holds you close
very silly one: basically sometimes during this period you cant tell if he seriously wants to fuck because he'll act like he's in a porn vid. the ones with the bad acting. he's laughing the entire time, but christ you can tell he needs you by the boner he doesn't hide.
30 notes · View notes
sabaramonds · 1 year
Text
the thing about mikoto of milgram fame is that hes like. okay. so theres a lot that cant be said about him yet because his 2nd trial hasnt released and wont be for quite a while and his music video and interrogation only tell us so much. but what they DO tell us is um. enough to say some things if he answered his interrogation questions honestly, we know he has a younger sister he brags about, his parents are divorced and his father isnt involved in their lives. in regards to his mother, he says that “she raised me. i cant let her worry.” he downplays his own interests/hobbies a lot. he said he played baseball in high school but that he wasnt good at it; he went to an art school but did so in order to go into business (though design was related to his chosen company) and says that he likes drawing but, again, isnt good at it. he says he hates working late nights but we see him pulling an all nighter at work in ‘undercover’. when asked why hes working his current job, he says he worked incredibly hard to even get hired, so its something to be proud of. finally, when asked if he ever gets angry, he says he doesnt. he says, “i dont think ive ever gotten angry before. isnt it disgraceful to get angry?” theres also the following milgram portal conversation (src):
Yuno: Hey, Mikoto-san. Don’t you get tired being so conscious of others all the time? I mean, you’re free to do what you want though.
Mikoto: Eh…… Aha, what are you talking about? I’m not being conscious or anything. It’s normal to make sure to get along with everyone, right?
I mean, when you put it like that, aren’t you the same, Yun-chan? You’re always smiling and getting on with everyone too.
Yuno: I don’t smile unless I actually want to. But with you, when you’re talking with other people it’s more like you only smile deliberately. So I kept thinking, don’t your cheeks get tired?
Ah, is this just what happens when you become a working adult? ……you see people like that sometimes.
Mikoto: Haha, you don’t mince your words do you.
…….that was never my intention, but now that you mention it, yeah, I guess I do. This might’ve been since I started my job too…… But like, if I was rude to everyone I met, all my efforts would come to nothing, right?
all these little things add up to paint a picture of a stressed and deeply repressed guy working a job he doesnt actually like (but he has to have a successful job he can brag about or his mother will worry) he thinks little of his own interests and hobbies and socializes more out of obligation than out of genuine desire. all of this culminates to um...his present situation... basically what i want to say is that i think its fine. also i think he killed someone and immediately repressed it but that incident is entirely unrelated to his anime brand DID and his alter. who aside from trying to whale on es that one time has only ever really showed up to be like “can you shut the fuck up. and get away from me. im trying to be normal over here and you are RUINING my life” or to pace around in mikotos cell in the middle of the night like a creature. i think mikoto 2 was entirely unrelated to mikotos repression stress induced rage murder but they might have cleaned up after him idk. we will see. mikoto wants to be a normal guy having a normal time and not worrying his family at all ever and never experiencing anything like anger or frustration at all EVER EVER!! because he has to set a good example for his sister and be the perfect son for his mom so she can relax. and he doesnt think he can do the things he enjoys for the sake of doing them. so what im saying is if he killed someone who cares. whatever. also we should all mass vote him forgiven/innocent just to spite kotoko after last nights birthday timeline post. AND because it would be funny as hell and the fandom flopped HARD voting haruka guilty/unforgiven. like god forbid girls have a little fun 🙄 btw its my firm belief that the tarot set we see in his mv (and i could talk a lot about the rest of the imagery used in that video but its almost 2am and ive rambled long enough) was designed by him during college. really funny to think about it like that. he does have one of the card designs (the. hangman, actually. i think) visible on a canvas in his apartment, partially obscured behind his couch at one point. so. lol
37 notes · View notes
jazuthevulcanprincess · 6 months
Text
i wanna kms so so bad so bad i can't stop thinking abt hurting myself i just cant do anything
my body hurts so fucking bad i spent all night crying bc my mom is drinking and imploding and weaponizes her incompetence to make me take care of everything she cant ever handle doing anything on her own but she acts like she doesnt do that
she doesnt understand how her flipping out over every inconvenience and not being able to self sooth and problem solve like an adult hurts me and makes me have to step in to solve it
and she has the audacity to say I chose her as my mothet i chose to be born to her what fucking utter bullshit
im only here with her so i can go to college bc i cant work and do school at the same time, and i cant afford my own life and i struggle not to kill myself at every job ive worked at
im so spoiled and stupid and worthless and fat and ugly and how could anyone ever love me like this, but I cant do any better i dont know how
im not gonna make it thru university i know it, she is gonna keep wearing me down anyway
i cant even read anything for studying i cant get my brain to focus i just keep crying i wish i could leave and take care of myself only
she will never stop using me for her comfort and making me take care of logistics and bills bc she will fuck it up bc she doesnt know how and doesnt want to learn or improve or stop drinking or take responsibility for anything shes ever done wrong in her life
im going to do no better. ive got no future. i cant even go to school how can i work?
ive been trykng to study for 3 days and i keep having to solve some problem or im just unable to read anything, took me 4 hours to do one homework yesterday bc i kept rereading the same lines over and over bc they didnt make sense, it was like pulling teeth to understand anything
and then i got the xmas tree and i had to find it cut it move it set it up etc and clean and whatever and my back and body hurt so badly bc im an out of shape lazy fat fuck who is too scared to excercise in public where people can see me but i also wont excercise indoors bc i hate floor routines i only like walking or ice skating
yoga hurts everything i do hurts and im too much of a weak coward to try to do a single fucking thing
theres nothing worth living for anyway i cant afford anything climate change is making everything worse people are cheering for genocide and capitalism will never leave and ill end up on the streets killing myself anyway so why bother
i cant relax and be vulnerable with anothe human being either so ill always be alone since i dont see that changing anytime soon
and my heart is constantly skipping anyway so ill probably have a heart attack in a few years or get lung cancer since i vaped for a year and have smoked weed for many more years
im a burden to everyone ive ever met including my mother so what the fuck is the point anyway
im only alive to take care of my cats and i cant even do that
0 notes
thelocalconstellation · 8 months
Text
Just gotta shout into the void for a minute
Something about the fact that I'm just. So fucking exhausted right now. Between work and school and the fact that I was sick for the last week, still suffering after effects actually, which caused me to miss 75% of the week, I'm so so so fucking tired. Nothing really helps either. I feel like my wizard keeps getting dragged into encounters I'm out of spell slots so I'm down to my last few hit points and I'm stuck fighting with my fists because I can't do anything else.
I can't do homework because I need somebody there I can walk through it with or I can't get my ridiculous fucking brain to understand it because my fucking adhd put my processing speed in the dirt and my doctor didn't want to put me on meds last time and my next appointment to go over it again with the doctor and my dad isn't until next tuesday and it doesn't matter I have three shifts left until the season is over for work I'm pretending to have energy when I feel like I haven't gotten to have a break since early august and the two or three days in this mess I haven't been trying to do school stuff or at work I can't relax because I should be catching up on notes or doing practice questions or working on things I missed or doing one of a billion things and two people I knew died in the last month and I don't know how to tell you that seeing a kid who barely hit adulthood, a kid barely older than you dead is really fucking bad for you.
I don't know if its hormones if its adhd if its just my world keeps getting shaken like a really fucked up snowglobe or what but I haven't been able to regulate my emotions at all in the last month and I can never keep a decent sleep schedule during the school year which makes literally everything worse and so I'm stuck in an endless loop of falling asleep in class, trying to do the things I need to for class, trying to do homework or whatever I didn't manage to finish in class, not being able to go to sleep until late because I don't get home until five, I have to have dinner and do the dishes and do homework and I need some time to do something fun or I'm going to hit burnout a lot faster than I should and by the time I manage to actually do half that its anywhere from 11:30 to 2 am and I have to get up early so I can go in to get help for chem because I fell asleep yesterday and I missed something and I don't understand the material because my brain refuses to take anything I learn and actually put it away!!!!!
Im just. So fucking tired. So so tired i want to be able to be nice and help people when they ask and do things but I'm in a damn near constant state of overstimulated and exhausted and I don't know of anything that I can do to fix it at all and i just dont know anymore.
I want to sleep. I have a headache. I cant sleep because I'm stressed about everything ever. I cant manage my personal hygiene well enough to try and even do anything about it via self care. I don't know how to dress or anything to give me any good vibes about my appearance beyond "this is socially acceptable". I barely know what I might want to do after high school but I have no idea if its attainable. I fucked up my savings by spending too much in places I didn't think I'd be going near and I still don't know how to remind my friends they need to pay me back for sushi without being rude because theres an extra 60 bucks I didn't account for.
I could barely stand in front of a mirror long enough to clean my piercings because I hate how I look when I've been crying and I hate how I look generally because nothing but my hair feels right anymore and I'm too tired for much else.
I've been being upbeat and energetic the last couple days at work when I want nothing more than to sleep all day because nothing else feels even remotely like it brings me joy anymore.
My brain feels so fucking loud all the time and I can't think and i can't focus and I don't want to spend money on constantly buying coffee in hopes I can focus the next class because that gets expensive and I don't want to do that with energy drinks because I don't want my kidneys to hate me and I don't know where the caffeine pills went and tea never has enough to help me focus and I can't get the adhd to bugger off long enough for me to do my schoolwork and I'm stressed and tired and I feel like I'm out of options. I don't have energy to hang around my friends much anymore. I've got one friend i can interact with regularly without being more tired and I don't know if I'll even have time to talk to them much this week. Nothing I've tried is working and I'm just. Tired.
Im just some kid. I'm too tired for this guys
0 notes
keefwho · 2 years
Text
August 17
8:57 AM
I dunno how I’m feelin right now. But I wanna be TOUGH. Or maybe just relax today, after commissions. I dont know. I feel like I need to lay down. 
2:14 PM
I kinda feel like I’m just waiting for more hardship. More tummy problems and thunderstorms, it never stops. I need a hug or something. 
10:34 PM
I’m at another sort of breaking point. Im just so sick of being miserable or fighting just to feel ‘okay’ every single day. It didn’t USED to be like this. Why has it gotten so much worse so fast. I have some plans though. I might try to write a lot more and REALLY get everything out for the sake of reading it over to try and see some patterns. I’ll try tracking my diet again to see if there’s anything especially wrong I need to change. I’ll try to deliberately de-stress in general because I know that’s a solid part of it. There’s so much work to do. 
My priorities have been kinda fucked up lately. It should be WELLBEING>WORK>DESIRES, or maybe work first. I’ve been REALLY bad about not cracking down on work and getting things done. I HAVE to do that again, it’s getting to the point where I’m starting to earn less. Before I was scheduling personal art time that was stressing me out so I cut that off, but now I still have to do the actual work I have scheduled. Thats a big point of stress, not getting it done early in the day and having it loom over me. 
I’ve definitely been prioritizing others over myself a bit too much lately. It all falls into that ‘Im afraid to lose people’ mindset recently. That has to stop, Im not losing anyone. And I really have to take care of myself in order to be good to other people. 
Some friends don’t understand my problems and it’s bordering on frustrating. They’ll say they get it and understand, then get upset when I have to leave to take care of myself. I have to accept that I cant let people like that get to me. I’m not going to let their misunderstanding stress me out. I’ll leave whether it hurts your feelings or not when I’m having some personal issues. 
I feel so turbulent inside. So many fears, hopes, and feelings. I’m aware of multiple areas where I can improve. Before it was just my sickness anxiety, now its personal relationships, intimacy, self care, work ethic, and surely other things I’m forgetting. As someone who loves to organize and prioritize, I’d want to do that here too. But I’ve learned trying to do that with feelings only gets so far. It’s hard to accommodate these kinds of things into a system. 
I find myself craving someone I can lean on, but I won’t make that mistake again. I think I’ve always had someone I’ve committed myself to at any one time that I’ve used to help me stay sane. It can be healthy and stable, but I’m robbing myself of the ability to stand alone. The reality is I am alone in my internal struggles. People can help a lot but it’s my fight in the end. Maybe I need to learn to love and respect myself more to realize improving for the sake of myself is important. Often when I’m alone, I figure whats the point. No one is here to see me in shambles so why should I fix it? But the thing is IM there to see it AND feel it. It hurts ME so I should aim to fix it. Just like how I clean my cabin despite no one else seeing it. 
10:55 PM
I always catch myself thinking about someone else. The people I like and when I might see them next or do for them so they know I’m thinking about them. But its hurting me, I haven’t been thinking of myself enough. I guess I feel alone when I’m alone, but I shouldn’t. Alone time is normal and healthy when done correctly. I should assure myself that my friends will always be there, they aren’t going to forget about me or magically vanish while I’m away. Reassurance would help, like if a friend messaged me something that let me know I was on their mind every now and then. I try to do that, maybe I should do it more. I don’t want to come off as creepy though. 
I want to keep in mind the person I want to be more, to help guide myself on how I should act. I wanted to stream consistently, and I was. I felt WRONG not streaming the art I was doing. Then all this anxiety stuff hit and now streaming is a challenge. It makes me feel trapped and stressed out. But I don’t want it to. I want to stream so I can stay focused as people watch me work and chat. I want to stream Boneworks for my buddy since he bought the game for me to do that. I’m literally just a total coward these days, but I want to be brave again. 
11:21 PM
Time for some shameful admittance. I threw out a bunch of french fries because they were from when my mom let all my frozen stuff thaw. There was a second bag that I ate the entirety of because I know they were okay, but this other bag was a lot more fused together which to me means they were more thawed. And I was either unlucky or it was in my head, a couple of the fries I cooked tasted a little weird so I tossed the whole bag. I feel bad because they really should be okay, but they do fall out of my safety standards. I prefer frozen stuff to just not thaw until it’s time to cook it. 
12:30 AM
Fuck it. I keep feeling guilty about not drawing/making things for certain friends but the simple truth is that I don’t inherently want to. Usually I only want to draw one person at a time, and I know who that is right now. I WANT to do it. I’m going to draw what I WANT, not what I feel like I should. If that ends up being literally 1 person, then so be it. 
0 notes
Hi how are you and is it ok if you could do Billy loomis and stu macher trying to impregnate the reader please?
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG YESSSSS!!!!
NSFW, MINORS DNI, BREEDING KINK, MENTIONS OR PREGNANCY.
You squealed and gripped onto the bed sheets for dear life as you were being overstimulated by billy pounding into you from behind. The wet slaps of his balls hitting your clit. Stu sitting in front of you, kissing you ever so often and praising you for taking billy. Billy's cock was a good 6 and 1/2 inches with an intimidating amount of girth. Stu fell a little behind with girth. But BITCH, this man is packing some length. His cock is a good 8 inches, Not packing too much for girth. But thats alright because his cock curves upwards and hit that spot inside of you so fucking good.
You had a whole crying breakdown in the past from how good stu's cock felt when he pounded into you. Yeah stu's got some good dick game. Their goal for this evening was the impregnate you. Honestly you had no problem with that. The dick game hit so good, you didnt mind having their babies. You loved them more than anything. They love you more than anything as well.
They planned all of this out. Literally planned the whole thing out. Went out and bought baby clothes, formula, cribs, binkies, toys, little shoes. (my favorite thing are the baby shoes. like AAHHHH THEY SO TINY ><) They had the nursery all set up. They were ready. now all they have to do is put the baby in you.
They took turns. When billy cums he pulls out and stu takes over and continues where billy left off. When stu cums. Billy takes over. They've been switching positions for over two hours. They are trying to make sure you got enough cum. Even though their semen is literally oozing out of you and dripping down their balls sacks. They still think there isnt enough.
Billy finally came for like the nth time this afternoon. He pulled out and you thought that it was the last of it. You began to relax until you felt the bed dip behind you yet again and stu slammed home. You arched your back and screamed from the warm pole making its way to your cervix. The way their dicks keep getting hard over and over in a short amount of time is beyond you.
Stu gripped your hips and began to pound into you. His pelvis smacking into your ass. Billy sat in front of you and watched as your body rocked back and fourth. The way your ass bounced with each of stu's thrusts. Billy leaned down and kissed you and praised you. Being on all fours for almost two hours was tiring. Your legs almost giving in. Stu finally came with a grunt, and you plopped down as your legs finally gave in. You couldnt count on your fingers and toes, the amount of orgasms you had this evening.
Billy took over and flipped you over as he watched the mixture of his and stu's semen coming out of your pussy. Billy then folded you into a mating press and fucked you roughly. You squealed from how hard he was going. He whispered sweet nothings in your ear. And that this is the last one. He shot his load and kept his cock there. Not moving. Plugging up the cum. "I cant wait to see how you'll look in 9 months." Stu smiled and kissed your forehead. Billy pulled out and cleaned you up.
If this doesnt get you pregnant then i dont know what will.
Tumblr media
946 notes · View notes
soft-boi-eli · 3 years
Text
Mcyts helping a trans masc after top surgery. (Part 1)
Tw:swearing, pain pills, some hints to vomiting, fluff as well.
Wilbur
This simp...
Makes sure you regularly drain your drains, take your medication.
You dont even have to get the fuck up, I mean he's your personal butler until the doctor gave you the okay.
Three times a day you get a smoothie. He can tell that you dont want to eat because of the pain.
The least you can do is drink something to nurioush you while you were in pain.
If you're embarrassed about having to sleep on some dog pee pads for the drain. Dont be.
Wilbur may not understand but he will constantly comfort you. He'll even make a video to tell his viewers he won't be posting for a moment. A personal issues came up and that is all they know for now.
Also when cold he'll try to keep you warm by very, very gentle cuddles. But any sign of pain and he's off of you and getting you warm blankets and heating packs.
His sweaters? Now all yours. You have no say. He will give you one every day knowing you find alot of comfort in wearing his clothes.
The last thing he wants is you in pain. Especially if it was caused by him.
Your testosterone shot? Dont worry he's got it for you.
He doesn't want you to get up unless you needed to go to the restroom or you were itching to get up.
If you dont take it slow he will threaten you.
This is a threat. He will make you sit back down if you tried to get up and clean.
All in all he is a simp and your butler.
Technoblade
Technoblade may not know what to do but he will try.
He's quite nervous but when he realized you havent eaten and needed something in your system for your pain meds hell make you something soft and light on the stomach.
Are you cold? He'll cover you in a blanket and just sit next to you. Floof senses you in pain and cuddles you more then technoblade.
Techno was a bit butt hurt but knew that you needed alot of support right now.
With his height his clothes are either tight or loose. But his hoodies are always huge. And very fucking comfortable.
His scent relaxed you and helped you sleep at night.
He is a hidden simp.
He will make sure you're comfortable. If you want him to he'll sleep with you in the living room.
When you start walking him and Floof are constantly following you. Just to make sure you are safe and comfortable.
You cant help but love your two boys.
His streams and videos are already inconsistent but he did say his next video or stream might take a longer time.
But if you dont mind then you'll sit near him while he streams. If you needed anything he'll get it.
You saying hi to chat. They know you're in pain by your tone.
And anyone he's in a call with will ask what's up. And when you tell them they'll understand and they'll hype you up.
It warms techno's heart when his friends hype you up.
God this closeted simp is melting internally.
Schlatt
He will tease you.
Pictures are taken and spread around the internet like a wild fire.
Caption to those pictures?
This dumbass just got out of surgery and didnt expect to feel like trash lol.
But off camera he's quite the nice guy. Reminding you to drink your water, getting you soft foods or soups, heck he give you some of his pushies from his youtooz.
And this behemoth of a man will give you his shirt or hoodies.
You are with him when he streams or records.
There is no say.
He wants to keep his eyes on you and make sure you are comfortable and safe.
Lowkey dragged you bed into his recording room, you were just vibing in the corner.
You meds are on a set schedule. If the time lands when he's on stream he doesn't think. Just gets up grabs your meds and a premade smoothie.
With that he gave them to you.
Watching you swallow that pill because you can be stubborn with pain meds.
Returns to the stream.
Yells at chat for calling him a simp. He told them you were in pain and it's the least he can do for you.
Will low key rub your back off stream. As sleeping while sitting up us hell on your shoulders.
Jambo is all over you, soaking up the attention he can get while you were immobile.
Schlatt would glare st him for taking away his S/O.
When it came to you wanting to walk he will let you.
If you hurt then this man would laugh and tell you to sit your ass down. You are going anywhere just yet.
He's gonna carry you when you are in as much pain.
He's tall and there is no stopping him.
It makes him feel a bit happier due to the fact you aren't hurting as much, and still getting to the place you needed.
Also he will hug you if he sees you are uncomfortable. The hug is very soft and unlike him.
But at least he is trying.
He also keeps his yelling down, doesn't want you to make too many stiff movements. It would hurt the hell out of you.
Tommy
Ok. Hear me out, butler.
He see the pain you are in and as one of his best friends he wont let you do anything.
Your parents were out of town after your surgery and it wasn't their fault their work called in suddenly.
So you were sent over to Tommy's for the three weeks they were out.
Tommy would let you relax on his bed, heck even sleep on it as well.
Doesn't care if your drains stain the bed. That's an easy clean up and he wants you to be comfortable.
He does still stream. Because it's something he does for a living.
But he'll try to keep it a bit quieter.
You once walked out of the room when he was streaming. You looked like a gremlin, hunched over while you had to take a piss.
When you entered you were greeted by wilbur, techno, and phil telling you they hope you heal fast.
"It only gets better from now on (y/n). Take it easy alright?"-wilbur
"Congrats mate, just relax and dont forget to focus on healing."-Phil
"Yo you got the surgery. Pog. Stay healthy (y/n)."-techno
You melted lightly. A small smile graced your face.
It brought you joy and there was nothing that could compare to it. Honestly.
It seemed almost every day someone tommy knew was hopi g a speedy recovery.
He once yelled at chat for saying you should suck it up.
"CHAT THEY JUST WENT THROUGH SURGRY. LEAVE THEM ALONE!"
You forgot that your parents were even out for those weeks.
Tommy would definitely understand slightly that it would hurt to constrict your chest.
"You cold?"
When you nod tommy is up and handing you one of his hoodies. They are big and comfy. Easy to put on too. So they are perfect.
His two dogs, Walter and Betty?
Expect them in his room curled around you. Dogs know when humans feel pain and when they need something to comfort them.
The stream kind of enjoyed that.
They got wholesome content from you and dog content.
Win win.
Tommy will make sure you have your meds.
If it lands during a stream he blacks out the camera and carefully gets you the things needed for it.
Get you a best friend like tommy.
They wont let you do much when in pain.
Tubbo
He doesn't fully know what to do. He went and spent a few nights over at your house.
Your parents asked his parents for help so they sent over tubbo.
They made a list but the poor boy couldnt read it.
"A sm-oosthie with their pain pill... what the hell is a sm-oosthie?!"
It took him calling tommy to ask him to tell him.
"Tubbo. It says smoothie and who is this fo-."
He hung up before tommy could finish and made the smoothie.
Your cat was quite cuddly.
When he walked in your cat was on your lap.
"Tubbo? When did you get here?" Oh yeah it was a surprise.
"Not too long ago. Your parents left and asked me to help."
He was doing it in all good.
But he scared you so badly.
He bought you a stuffed animal...
It was a huge minecraft bee. And by huge I mean huge.
Like here's the stuffed animal.
Tumblr media
Ignore the child. I wished there was a better picture.
But yeah you get the point.
Tubbo may not know how to help you fully but he's trying.
Tommy came to visit with wilbur and phil.
Tommy was meeting up with them and you lived close to wilbur.
When they saw you laid up in bed, tubbo trying to find out how to help with your medication phil kinda went father mode.
You got homemade soup to take your meds.
Tubbo was quite happy to see you smiling and lightly laughing.
When they left you felt better.
Tubbo may not know how to do alot but he tried his best. And you loved every moment.
You got you best friend to help you. And nothing was better then that.
Ranboo
Ranboo spent the night and all you guys could do was joke about the pain.
The jokes were quite self deprecating too.
All night you guys were up.
You couldn't sleep because of the pain and he didnt want to sleep due to the fact he didnt want you to be alone.
So you two were sleep deprived and your parents were concerned. But understood you two didnt want the other to feel bad.
After you healed a bit your parents got called into work. Leading to you spending a few days over there.
Ranboo streamed a recorded with you in the back ground.
He forgot you were there once and he turned on face cam. There you were in the background nose deep into a book while wearing one of his hoodies.
You were freezing and your shirts were a bit too tight.
He just gave you one of his and that was that.
"Whis in the background?"-dono
"In the background?" He turned around to see you just reading your book.
"Oh. That's one of my friends. They had a surgery a week ago."-ranboo
He turned to you, "(y/n) say hi to stream."
Looking up you waved.
"My gay mind went brrr at the idea of no sacks of fat. Now body do the big pain."-(y/n) 2021
It brought a laugh to ranboo and his chat.
You joked through the pain. It was funny.
Dream
What is this I see? He's a simp indeed.
Low key he's answering your beck and call.
He's smothering you in love.
It may not be physical affection but it is still affection.
Your hoodies are replaced with his.
They are huge and comfy.
He saw something online that reminded him of you.
Tumblr media
He said it was cute and decided you needed it.
You loved it. It helped you sleep.
Since sapnap lives with him he sends in sapnap sometimes because he's recording or has to get something that wasn't in the house.
Also when you found the zipper you unzipped it and found dream stashed some gift cards and little trinkets in it. Along with a note.
'Knew you would of found this.'-Clay
It shocked you kind of.
But you loved it. It was quite comforting that he gave his affection in these ways still.
Even if it wasn't physically.
Patches is on you 24/7.
She's cuddling you and being very gentle on you.
Low key she won't leave you though, she's following you everywhere, on your lap, sitting there when your on the toilet.
She's clingy. More clingy then before.
But it warmed your heart.
If george visits then he'll see a little gremlin making a b line to the bathroom.
All because the pain made your stomach feel upset.
And you hadn't eaten anything because of pain.
Dream is quick to rush in and see what's wrong.
You were sitting on the ground in the bathroom. Needless to say it didnt end well and you hated it.
"Baby. Do you want me to get you a smoothie and your pain meds?" You were grateful.
After leaving the bathroom you lightly hunched over you noticed the British man in your living room.
You watched his videos.
You waved lightly with a smile.
"Oh sorry (y/n) I didnt tell you george was coming did i?"
Your look told it all.
"Sorry you have to see me like this." You had the urge to apologize.
"No dont be sorry. Surgery is painful."-george
With a small nod you went back to your room and relaxed.
George
He didnt know what to do at all.
He answered your requests.
But he didnt know why you needed that thick ass blanket in the middle of the summer.
But now you have it.
Your stuffed animal that was left in the living room?
It's in your arms by your side.
He's sad it wasn't him in your arms but understood it would cause you pain.
He just lightly lays in your lap.
It brought you comfort and him comfort.
Your germilin ass tended you get up and walk at the weirdest time too.
3am?
Your are going to get a snack.
5am?
You are on your way to the toilet.
7am?
Your once more in the kitchen getting something to eat with your pain pill.
George slept through it and was confused when you weren't in bed like the doctors told you to.
He's quite meticulous with your meds and eating habits.
He doesn't push but makes sure you have something with that pill.
Hell try to help you with your bandages. But sometimes got queasy at the blood and stuff.
It was okay with you though.
You didnt mind that due to the fact that you too got queasy as well.
I think you guys sleep through this alot.
Wilbur and tommy visited.
You was shocked and confused when they had a few get well soon gifts.
Tommy got you a small fidget toy, just something to do with your hands sometimes.
Wilbur got you a few books and a small stuffed toy.
It was a orca.
You loved it but still loved the one that george got you.
He got you a little wooloo one.
Tumblr media
It was something that was soft and easy to cuddle.
But the books wilbur gave you were amazing.
It gave you something to do for a long while. And it gave george some more cuddle time.
Other than not knowing what to do george was a great source of comfort.
Sapnap
Sapnap is a bit more experienced with it.
Kind of knowing what to do and all together he just know more then most people.
There is a regular schedule for you meds and so called meals, he changes out the dog pads if he notices them dirty. He knows how to maneuver himself next to you so there was no pain.
He also sucked up that he would be overwhelmingly hot and sat next to you under the blanket.You weren't nearly as cold because of that.
Also since sapnap lives with dream I imagine that dream pops in some times and so does patches.
You all were probably best friends as children. And people always thought that you and dream would get together.
Only because you two were more touchy.
But you saw him as an older brother, and took a liking to sapnap.
Dream was really suportive and saw you as a little sibling.
Dream probably saw you not doing to well and made you something to eat and brought your pain medication.
That was because sapnap was sleeping next to you.
Patches curled up between to two of you and dream brought in something you hadnt seen before.
A roll away bed.
This mother fucker got a whole new bed just so he could sleep in the same room as you and sapnap.
"Sapnap is a heavy sleeper. What if you need something?" He was correct.
You woke up to pain and discomfort.
Dream woke up but sapnap didnt.
You were mainly cold though...
How the hell were you cold with this man radiating radiation the heat of a thousand suns?
No clue. But probably the anesthesia since you were in sapnap room dream just opened the closet and tossed his hoodie to your lap.
You woke up sapnap when you put on the hoodie on accident.
He pushed up against your shoulder a bit more and draped his arm over your lap.
"What's wrong?" Sapnap mumble made you stiffen up. Dream seemed to fall back to sleep too.
"Just a bit cold." He lightly nodded into your neck.
"Mmmmmm. How though."-sapnap
"I dont fuckin know."-(y/n)
He let out a sleep chuckle and seemed to fall asleep again.
You just sat there. Patches and sapnap on you lap technically.
Sapnap woke up and made you breakfast at some point. You were in and out of it due to barely any sleep.
Dream woke up as well. You didnt even know when they left. But patches stayed with you.
Those weeks you were treated the best with these two with extra cuddles from patches.
I didnt know there was a max amount of paragraphs. But hey I guess it's something you find out sooner or later. So there is going to be a part 2. Including some character I missed.
568 notes · View notes
i-cant-sing · 3 years
Text
Yandere Rei Hurting Reader Pt2
Yes yes. Its out now. I won't delete this one. Enjoy!
Part 1 is here. Part 3 here.
Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
Yandere Todoroki Clan:
It had been so awful at first. So hard for everyone to adjust to the new change. Of course, it was especially difficult for you to adapt to the new circumstances.
When you had first woken up after the unfortunate incident, approximately 3 days later, you didn't expect to be home so soon. You expected- you hoped that you would wake up in the hospital and have them call the authorities. Then again, you also didn't expect never being able to use your eyes again.
Shotou was the first one to notice when you had woken up from your coma. He hadn't left your side since the accident. He jumped from his seat beside you and held the glass of water to your lips when you tried to speak. The family came rushing in when he called for them, announcing that you had woken up. You could hear Fuyumi and her crying tears of joy as Natsuo came to check your vitals. You knew your eyes were bandaged, which was expected because of the hot oil that was poured on them, but when you asked Natsuo when they were coming off, he went silent. Your heart sank when he told you what had happened, how your eyes were fucking fried to the point that the arteries supplying them were also destroyed, which meant they couldn't be replaced, ever.
You screamed a lot that day; you would've cried but you didn't have any tear ducts. You didn't let anyone touch you at first, especially Rei. You would scream, throw yourself away from her if you felt her come near you. Eventually, Natsuo put some sort of tranquilliser into your IV, finally calming you down.
Being blind was hard, you knew that. But you didn't know that it would also be this humiliating. After the accident, they had starting infantalizing you even more, doing the most miniscule things for you.
Shotou would be the first person who greeted you in the morning and usually the last person to put you to bed at night. He would carry you around everywhere you go, telling you its simply unsafe for you to walk on your own. Sure you bumped into the furniture a few times and it was a bit hard maintaining your balance, but that didn't mean you needed him to carry you around everywhere. You had asked him to get you a cane, but he only said "why do you need a stick when you have me? Just tell me where you want to go". 
Each morning, Shotou would take you down the stairs to the toilet and more often than not, have Fuyumi come and help you, even for brushing your teeth. Then he would take you to the dining table where everyone is waiting for you. Fuyumi would give your breakfast to Shotou, who would cut it up and feed you. Once you're done eating, you would wait for Shotou to finish his food. During breakfast, everyone would make small talk while you remained quiet. After everyone's finished eating, Fuyumi and Rei would take dishes to sink. You would've helped, but everyone's pretty much forbidden you from entering the kitchen.
Shotou would then carry you either to his room or the living room, where he would turn on the TV and tell you what's happening. But since this always makes you remember how you don't have eyes, he would usually just read you some book. Somehow, they're always about princesses and fairytales. You were getting sick of hearing them.
Fuyumi would later come and fetch you, and take you to your bath. While you would be cleaning yourself, after politely declining help from Fuyumi each time, she would be out preparing your clothes for the day. She would explain to you what you're wearing and how you look, and how she's going to style your hair. As if any of these things mattered to you. But even if they did, its not like you'd have a say in anything.
You still remember the first time you were taking a bath, after finally convincing Fuyumi to let you have the "luxury" to clean yourself up. You finally had some time for yourself, alone and away from the rest of the house. You sank in the warm water in the tub, allowing yourself to relax. The privacy was comforting, but not long lasting, as you felt cold hands touch your shoulders. In an instant, you jumped away screaming. "GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" Rei tried coming closer to you but you kept on screeching at the top of your lungs, alerting the whole house. "FUYUMI! SHOTOU! GET HER AWAY! SHOTOU GET HER AWAY!" At that point you didn't even care if they saw you nude, they just need to save you from her. The siblings rushed to the bathroom and upon seeing your huddled form in the corner and their mother sobbing, Fuyumi hastily covered you with a towel while Shotou took Rei out of there.
Shotou tried to make you understand that Rei was just trying to help you. That she just missed you and wanted to take care of you. He was basically telling you not to be afraid of her, and that your trauma is not valid. You stopped talking to him after that, only spoke when absolutely necessary.  
Natsuo would pick you up after your bath while Fuyumi went to make lunch. He would check your eyes (or lack there of), put on some ointments and replace the bandages with fresh ones. Fuyumi would come with your lunch and after she'd fed you, Natsuo would give you your medicine. They always make you sleepy, so you'd be put down for a nap.
Dabi wasn't always around, but when he was, he was still the asshole he was before. He would move your things to different places, or place stuff in your way so that'd you'd trip (he always caught you before you face planted), all so that you would ask him for help he could get a rise out of you. But you would just sigh and move on.
Enji liked to take you to the garden and read you books and newspapers. It was alright you guess, but you wanted to do something yourself, especially since they still didn't take you out of the house. You had asked him for a Braille, but he only replied "You don't need to stress yourself with that. I'll always be there to read you whatever you want." 
If Enji's running late, then Shotou would take you to the swings in the garden, pushing you as he tells what happened at school or with friends. After dinner, you’d be forced to spend some more time with your siblings, before you’d be tucked into bed.
That has been the routine for the past 6 months since your accident. And the family really felt like everything was returning to normal. It was, for them. This is how they always wanted things to happen: you, locked up in the house while they stripped you of all autonomy and infantalized you to the point where it was harming you, both physically and mentally. Your body was growing weak, your muscles got easily fatigued from their lack of use. And the pills Natsuo gave you didn't really help the case. They made you sleepy, and you think they even caused hallucinations since you felt like someone was in your room or someone was playing with your hair.
Even though you were stuck at home all day, you still never talked to Rei. Well she tried, but you would be the one to always flinch away. She wouldn't address herself when she entered your room, but you would still feel her lurking around the corners. And why should you acknowledge her? Especially after what she's done? 
Enji wasnt ignorant of your condition. He could see how quiet you had gotten, and how scared you were of Rei. He was getting worried for you. What were you thinking about? Enji knew if he didn't talk to you, things will get worse.
You were sitting by the lounge window with Fuyumi who was telling you about her day. Fuyumi greeted him when he came in the room. "Hey, dad!" Enji nodded. "Fuyumi, would you leave us? I'd like to talk to Y/n." Fuyumi nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead before she left the room, only Enji noticing how you stiffened at her affection. He sat beside you and cleared his throat. "How are you?" "Fine. You?"you softly asked. "I'm good, too. I wanted to talk to you about something. About...your mom." "My mom's dead." Enji cleared his throat. "I meant Rei." "Oh. What about her?" "Why haven't you been talking to her?" You remained silent. “What happened was an accident-” “It wasnt an accident. An accident is spilling milk. Not pouring hot oil in someone’s eyes.” Enji knew this was coming.“She didn’t do it on purpose-” You cut him off again. “She did! She knew exactly what she was doing.” “Why would she do that?” “I don’t know. She hates me or something.” Enji grabbed your hand gently. “You know that's not true. Rei loves you very much and she cares about you a lot.” You didn't say anything. “Do you remember the day you came to our house?” You nodded. “Yeah. It was a few days after my parents funeral.” “Yes. And do you remember what Rei said to you?” You stiffened before nodding again. “She said that she may not be my real mother, but she’ll love me more than anyone ever has and ever will. Always.” “Yes. And has she not? Has she not loved you more than anyone?” You nodded slowly as Enji continued. “Between you and me, she’s always favoured you among all of your siblings.” You smiled at that. “So, are you willing to give your mother a chance?” You paused for a few minutes. “I- I cant.” Enji sighed. “Look. I know you’re scared. I understand. I know you want to blame Rei for what happened, but believe me when I tell you it wasn't her fault. It was an accident.” You shook your head. “And what if another “accident” like that happens again? And what if I dont survive this time? And what if-” Your voice broke down. Enji pulled you into his lap. “It won't. I promise. And if something like that does occur, I’ll be there to stop it.” Enji pressed a kiss to your hair. “I’ll save you. I promise.”
With Enji's persuasion, you had started mending your relationship with Rei again. Sure, you still flinched when she touched you and you were still hesitant to initiate conversations with her, but none of that bothered Rei. You were trusting her again, and she was more than happy to do more on her part to make you comfortable.
And you won't lie, but life was better with Rei. She knew when Dabi or Shotou were becoming too overbearing, or when Natsuo was fussing over you for no reason. She was there to stop Fuyumi from chatting your ear away, and knew when to stop Enji from feeding you too many sweets.
And Enji could see that Rei was sorry for what she did. He saw how she would often massage ointments on your face, her fingers barely tracing the charred area around your eyes before pulling away quickly. And other times, like today, as he stood by your bedroom door, he saw how gentle she was with you as she tucked you into your bed. He kissed his wife once she had left your room. "How are my girls doing?" Enji asked Rei in a hushed voice, not wanting to wake you up. Rei smiled. "Good." They slowly started walking back to their room. "Shes an angel, Enji. So sweet." Enji hummed in agreement. "Can I tell you something?" Enji stopped and turned to face his wife. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm kind of glad what happened...to her." Rei was smiling. "She's so much better like this. So docile now. I...I don't regret what I did, you know?" Enji's blood ran cold. "Rei... dont tell me- you didn't do that on purpose, did you?" Rei nodded, a bit too eagerly. "I know, I know. It wasn't ethical. And if I could, I would've taken away her pain in a heartbeat. But you must agree that its much better now, right?" Enji couldn't believe what Rei was confessing. "I mean, look at her now. She doesn't even try running away. She knows- she feels safer with us, inside." Rei sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I thought that maybe it wouldn't come to this. I thought that after Touya took care of her parents, she'd be a bit more scared to be outside on her own. That's why we told her they died in a car crash." Rei rested her cheek on his chest. "It scares me what I'm willing to do for her, Enji." Enji knew Dabi had something to do with what happened to your parents, but knowing Rei had a hand in it too, or more precisely, she was the one who told Touya to get rid of them. Enji didn't know what to do with this new side of his wife. But he did know he had to keep her hidden from you, so he ushered his wife to their bedroom, not knowing you had already heard them.
You had realised a couple of things that night. One, Rei and Dabi had murdered your parents. Two, Rei pouring the hot oil in your eyes wasn't some sort of psychotic episode. Three, Enji and the others were going to take Rei's side, no matter what.
A few weeks later, your birthday came around. The siblings had left the house to get some things for your birthday party, leaving you in the care of their parents. Rei was in the kitchen cooking up a whole feast for you, while you sat beside Enji in the lounge as he read the newspaper. Enji had already given you your present. It was giant teddy bear with chocolates from Belgium. They were utterly delicious. When you stood up, he asked you where you were going. You pointed at the box of chocolates in your hand. "I'm going to share them with, mom. Unless, thats not okay?"you asked meekly. Enji still wasn't all that comfortable with letting you and Rei be alone, especially after her confession. But... if he doesn't let you go to her alone, you'll always be afraid of her. And its not like Rei will hurt you again, right? Besides, the kitchen is just down the hallway. He's sure nothing will happen. He nodded. "Okay. Should I walk you there?" "No. Its down the hall. I think I'll be fine on my own." Enji then allowed you to go, telling you to call for him if you need anything.
Rei was chopping up some vegetables when she heard your footsteps. She turned around to find you standing just outside the kitchen. "Hey, angel! What are you doing here?" You remained outside the kitchen as you spoke. "I wanted to share these chocolates dad got for me. W-would you like some?" Oh, you're so kind. Rei quickly wiped her hands on a kitchen towel before walking towards you and leading you to the dining room in front of the kitchen. She helped you sit down before taking a seat next to you. "You want me to have your chocolates? But didn't daddy gift them to you?" You bit your lip as you replied. "Well yes, but I- I wanted to share them with you so that I could- I wanted to thank you for taking care of me. And for loving me. I would've gotten you something else but I'm not allowed to go outside..."you mumbled the last sentence, but that didn't matter as Rei quickly hugged you. "Oh honey! You're so sweet!" Rei took a piece of chocolate from the box that you had extended towards her. "And these chocolates are so delicious! Daddy really loves to spoil you, doesnt he?" Rei pinched your cheek gently. You smiled. "I'm glad you liked them. Especially, after all you've done for me. You deserve them more than I do, honestly." Rei stopped at that. "Honey...what are you talking about?" You smiled. "What? Am I not saying the truth? You deserve these chocolates, and all the sweets and flowers and medals for being the best mother." You popped a chocolate into your mouth before continuing. "After all, the criteria is very high. You need to not only have the intent to kill for your child, but you also have to commit murder. Then kidnap your child and force her to bide to your rules. And if she misbehaves, you must punish her as well, right? Because good behaviour gets chocolate," You popped another chocolate into your mouth. "And bad behaviour gets your eyes fried."
Rei just stared at you in disbelief. H-how did you- you didn't hear them talking last night did you? Or did Dabi tell you? Rei stared at you as you ate another piece of chocolate. "I wonder after you've killed me, will you be given chocolates or flowers?" "D-darling, w-what are you saying? I would never hurt you!" You chuckled darkly. "No no. You've done it before and I know you'll do it again. After all, it scares you what you're willing to do for me." You caressed her cheeks, and when you felt her tears, you wiped them. "I'm not saying you have the intention to kill me. No, you'll just hurt me again, another little accident, but this time I won't survive. I just hope you'll bury me somewhere where there's a lot of fresh air, maybe on a hill with a view?" Rei finally broke down at that, falling to her knees as she clung to your legs. "Please! Y/n please forgive me! Please baby, I- I just wanted the best for you. I don't want you to die, I- I promise I'll never hurt you again! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Please baby, I'll do anything. Just forgive me!" You sighed. "Anything? I don't think you mean that." Rei nodded her vigorously, tears falling everywhere. "I do! I do! Just tell me what to do!" You tapped your chin, pretending to think. "Bring a knife. A sharp one." Rei's eyes widened. "W-What?" "Well...its only right for you to be punished as well. To atone for your sins, right?" "O-okay." Rei went to the kitchen and brought a big knife with her. "Lock the door." She did as you told her. You extended your palm, waiting for her to place the knife. She did. You stood up, right in front of Rei. You told her to stand against a wall, and she followed. You played with the sharp end if the knife. "I want to hurt you. I want to hurt you so bad. I want you to feel the pain, the hell you've put me through." This is it, Rei thought, you're going to kill her. For some reason, she was okay with that. "I want you to know you failed. I want you to know you're a bad mother. A selfish, bad mother." Rei was full on sobbing now. "Look at me. I want you to remember this." And with that you raised the knife before stabbing yourself in the gut, two screams ripping through the manor. Rei shot towards you, her hands trying to pull the knife away. "What did you do?! What did you do?!" Rei was crying. Enji was banging on the locked door for a few seconds before he burned it down and the sight he was met with...was nothing short of a nightmare.
There you layed on the floor, blood sputtering from your mouth, your shirt stained with blood and Rei. Rei, who was hunched over your body, with a bloody knife in her hand, crying out "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!".
Enji rushed towards you, pushing Rei back roughly. You were coughing up blood, your head turned away from him until you felt him touch your face. "D-daddy..."you whimpered out before your breathing came to a stop.
"No. No." Enji quickly gathered your limp body in his arms, running out of the house towards a hospital. He kept on chanting "no", because he didn't want to believe that he failed to protect you.
That he failed to save his daughter, again.
Tumblr media
I had 5 different endings in my mind and Idc if this isn't your preferred ending (the ending I had in my mind was something out of Quentin Tarantino's movie). I'm just glad to be done with it.
Anyways, exams are coming up and I'm not going to be posting a lot.
And ill be taking up your follow up questions/asks for this part! I'll also be answering godfather hawks asks now that this part is out.
2K notes · View notes
technowoah · 3 years
Note
if you're taking asks for the prompts, can you do 11 and 17 from the angst list with george but have a fluffy ending? she/her pronouns pls
I Can Make It Right
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
SHSJS I HAVE SO MUCH ANGST IN MY INBOX YALL!
Thanks for the request babe! The way it came out was gender neutral i dont think I user she/her, but it still works trust me!
George x reader imagine (established)
11) "It's not important apparently"
17) "You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off"
⚠︎ angst with happy ending, unresolved issue but they're gonna fix it dont worry 😌, angry George, swearing
*** = flashback
Masterlist
Tumblr media
You had stood infront of your bathroom mirror finishing up your makeup for the night. Your hair was already done and you had a nice outfit on, not to fancy and not too comfortable. While listening to a playlist George had made for you, you had put down the brushes you were using. It didnt really matter if you cleaned up your makeup that was littered all over the sink right now, but right now you were feeling good.
Today was your and George's 3rd year anniversary and you couldn't be happier about it. Today you two were going to dinner and doing something else which was supposed to be a surprise for you. It was a night on the town.
George and you met 4 years ago actually. You two started out as acquaintances, the slowly grew into friends and then one day he asked you to join him to dinner. At first you were oblivious to his actions, thinking he was just being a good friend, but turns out the more dates you two went on the more you caught on. He officially asked you to be his girlfriend 3 years ago today.
His friends keep on pressuring George to propose already, they think it's been long enough. The only thing close to marriage is a promise ring. He put the ring on your finger as a promise that one day he would marry you, everytime you doubt that he will propose you turn your attention to the cute ring on your finger.
You had turned off the bedroom lights and sat on your bed finally relaxing after struggling to find a decent enough outfit for tonight. George said that he was going to pick you up around 6:00 and now it is 5:47 so you had some time to spare.
You had found yourself scrolling through tiktok because you had nothing else better to do at this moment. It was a guilty pleasure of yours even though you and george both joked around about hating tiktok.
Time began to tick away so you had checked the clock on your phone which said 5:57 pm. You had grabbed shoes that you set up against your bed, slipped them on and grabbed all of your belongings for the night. You stationed yourself in the living room waiting till George came to the door.
Nervousness always came up before a date, it was the anticipation actually. You were excited and nervous about the date as you always were, but today for you was special. It was three years worth of beautiful love. You remembered the time he first said I love you too, it was just like it was yesterday.
***
"Hey y/n." George looked towards you. You both were sitting on a plaid, plush blanket with a brown woven basket ontop in between you two. It was just like the movies and that why you cringed because of how cheesy it was when George led you to it.
It was sweet, it was extremely sweet and you loved these dates that George always brung you too. You always felt special when you are sitting next to him.
You responded to George. "Yeah Gogy?" You laughed at the use of his nickname.
"Im trying to be serious right now and you call me Gogy." George smiled and shook his head. "Anyways, you know I love you, right?"
"Of course I do-"
"No I love you. I mean. I'm in love with you." George reached to rest his hand ontop of yours and repeated himself. "I'm in live with you y/n."
You wasted no time answering. "Im in love with you too."
***
6:03
George didnt show up yet, but there was no sweat. He was only 3 minutes late, maybe he ran into traffick. Your stomach was rumbling, but you didnt want to eat yet since you two we're planning to go to dinner. Patience is key, and it wasnt like he wasn't late before.
6:10
You started to get worried, it's been 10 minutes and still no sign of your boyfriend. You had gotton up several times to check outside of your door only to be met with no one. Your mind was jumping to conclusions about if he forgot your anniversary, but you shut those thoughts out for the time being.
6:19
Okay this is getting out of hand. You brung out our phone and began to text George, you couldn't believe that you had waited this long before texting the man.
Where are you? Ive been waiting for 29 minutes?!
[Sent: 6:20pm]
George what are you doing?
[Sent: 6:20pm]
You awaited his text message with your phone faced up on the coffee table infront of you. You didn't want to believe that George woukd forget, or overslept, but that was becoming truth the more minutes passed by with no call or text.
6:30
Calling him was useless, because he didn't answer. He didn't hang up on you he just wasn't picking up the phone, like he turned it off. You started to get worried if something happened to him, if he was in a situation where he couldn't call or text you. You wondered if he was safe at home and not out in the middle of the street.
In a flash all your worries subsided when your phone lit up with a notification.
ThisIsNotGeorgeNotFound is live:
Im Playing golf with my friends
That son of a bitch. Pissed off was an understatement, you were fuming. How could he end up streaming at home when you had constantly reminded him about this day, he knew damn well about this day too. How could he?
You ended up grabbing a jacket and your purse and ended up driving to George's place. It seemed like he was mocking you in a way, he knew you had notifications on for Twitch. You loved to support him and his career, but this was making a fool out of yourself.
Your hand tightly gripped the steering wheel as you tried not to run every red light you cane across. You finally came across George's home, you found a place to park and quickly got out of your car and sped walked your way to George's residence. Finally making up to George's door you knocked harshly on the door probably making more noise than what you intended too. You continuously banged on his door until you got fed up.
Remembering that George had given you a key to his house you dig through your purse to get your set of keys out anr unlock his door. You stomped inside his house and closed the door behind you.
"GEORGE! GEORGE!" You yelled through the house. You were being reckless and annoying, but you didnt care at this point you were fuming and needed to tell George how you feel.
You had made your way to George's recording room where he was talking to his friends on discord. George looked towards you in shock clearly not hearing the sounds you were making throughout his house.
"Y/N?!" George yelled and muted his microphone.
"What the hell are you doing?" You exclaimed back.
"Im streaming thats what Im doing!" George sassed back at you, not paying attention to his screen and the chat.
"Dont get smart with me. End the stream."
"What?! No!"
"You heard me, we need to talk." You crossed your arms across your chest. Your heart was beating too fast for your liking and you tried to calm yourself down, but George's comments were getting to you.
George was about to unmute himself and get back to the game. "No we dont-"
"GEORGE END THE FUCKING STREAM! This is embarrassing! Talk to me cause you have some explaining to do." You snapped at him.
A silence tell upon you two and he glared at you before turning to his stream and closing it out.
"Okay guys! Go watch the other boys streams I need to go now! Bye!" George quickly ended and turned off everything.
He turned around to you still sitting in his chair. "What? What do you want?"
"Do you know what today is?" You asked.
"April 30th." George answered bluntly.
"Thats all you have to say?" You asked in shock. "It's our anniversary dickhead!"
"I fucking know that." George said.
"You do? So why did you start streaming and we had dinner plans?!"
"I told you we were streaming! You weren't listening to me!" George stood up from his chair when he said that.
"When the fuck did you tell me this?!"
"A couple days ago! You didn't listen!"
"But you knew that was our anniversary! And we made dinnerr plans-"
George yelled over you. "A month ago! We made those plans a month ago so excuse me for forgetting!"
"So all these other years you remembered our anniversary and went out of your fucking way to cancel other plans around that date, but today you didnt because why?!" Tears were threatening to fall down you cheeks, but you wouldnt let him see you like that.
"Because I planned this already with the boys! And AGAIN you werent listening to me when I said that-"
"There were several other times that you could've told me too! But you didn't!" You sniffed trying to keep the frustrated tears inside.
"I already planned this and I cant go back on my promise-"
"But you can with me?!" You yelled and George stopped talking. He's just studying your face at this point and you hated this silence.
"Its not important apparently." You said while walking out of the recording room.
"You're being a bitch." He mumbled.
"Excuse me?! That is so disrespectful!" You spun around yelled at him.
"You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off." George said in a annoying tone.
"Yeah you should feel like shit! I feel like shit too so-!" You threw your hands up in exasperation and stormed out the room. You had made it to the door before George called out to you again.
"Y/n! Y/n! Please!"
"No! Just..." You paused before opening the door and ushering your way out. "Call me when you get your shit together.
Tumblr media
You were currently curled up on your couch eating leftovers that you had in the refrigerator. That had satisfied your hunger for the night because the dinner was canceled that night. Your anger and sadness had subsided and you were only left with an unusual feeling in your heart. Your relationship felt incomplete, this fight felt incomplete. You didnt break up with him, but you were waiting for closure.
The TV was the only light in the room. It illuminated what it wanted to, you didnt care if it was too dark. Usually you would be cuddled up with George at this ungoldy hour, but you weren't and that made you tear up.
Your sadness was still there, your anger towards George turned into pity. You were sad about the actions he took, but somewhere in your heart you could forgive him. You could forgive and move on if he would come to you.
Speaking of, you had a knock on your door. You didn't have the strength to get up, but you did. Shuffling your way to the door you sluggishly opened it to find George standing there with his hands in his hoodie. The person you wanted to see, but at the same time you wanted to slam that door in his face.
"Hey." George spoke and you gave him a small smile, nothing more.
You turned around to find your seat back on the couch where you were comfortable, but also giving him a silent invitation to come inside. You had sat down on the couch not paying attention to George, but you knew he closed the door, took off his shoes by yours, and put his keys on the table by the door like he always did. It was like a routine to him.
George ended up awkwardly standing beside the couch as you ignored him.
"You know, if you didnt open the door I would've used my keys like you did." George tried to spark up a conversation, but you only hummed in response. You were scared that if you spoke, you would cry.
George ended up making his way to the couch sitting beside you and pulling you into his embrace. Your head was on his chest and you began to sob. You missed this it's only been a few hours, but you had felt that in those few hours you had lost everything. You continued to sob into his hoodie as he rubbed your back and shushed you, whispering sweet nothings into the air only for you to hear.
"Im here, and Im sorry. Im so fucking sorry that I did this to you and I only hope that you can forgive me." George said, his voice cracking a little when he said that. You kept crying.
That's what you wanted to hear all along, that's what you needed. You could forgive him in due time, you always will because you love him, you will always love him. You both can always make it right.
425 notes · View notes
levisgirll · 3 years
Text
𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 (𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)
text: hello everyone! first off wanna thank each and every one of you that liked and enjoyed my writings <3 this honestly makes me happy and I’m glad to know that! so I decided to write this out for everyone as I had many ideas about this cute idea! you, y/n is levi ackerman’s first lover! it was stated by hajime isayama (author/illustrator of attack on titan) in a interview that levi has never been in a romantic relationship, but that all changes when he met y/n. It was also stated that when it does come to romance and love, isayama said that he expresses levi as awkwardly/clumsily when it comes to his lover. So find out some cute headcanons about him in his first relationship with Y/N!
synopsis: how’s it like for levi ackerman to be y/n’s boyfriend? and not only that but it’s also levi’s first partner ever, and including you! But you both don’t know that :,) so, what are the things you both would do as newbies in a relationship? (incoming real cute fluff- and levi trying his best to be your best boyfriend.)
fluff, headcanon, aot world ♡ —
To start off, you guys are both confused. Not sure what to do. Levi Ackerman’s first relationship and his first time having a partner actually makes him feel quite nervous as he wants to make sure he comes out as an ideal boyfriend for Y/N. Would definitely also start to overthink a lot at his start of his new relationship.
That’s cause, he wants to show you he is cool and got things under control and also even stronger towards you, he tries his best.
BUT, he doesn't know that it’s also y/n’s first relationship! and when they joined the Levi squad after Eren was taken in by the survey corps. Levi caught their eyes, and their causal interactions, talks and bond started to grow and slowly developing feelings.
Eren would definitely figure out that you had a crush on Levi and he would say in a shocked tone “Seriously...out of all the men. It’s the scary captain you like!”
After you guys got together, he started at first to show you some of his affections which is ruffling your hair, and he would do that whenever he catches you looking down or not smiling. He wants the best for you, and to smile instead. He wants to see that on your face cause it was one of the many things he loved about you. You lowkey liked that everytime he would ruffle your hair and you could feel his soft and gentle fingers on the top of your head, so lovely it makes your heart race.
He would let you call him Levi at first and he would kinda get upset sometimes when you say captain.
Whenever you go outside the walls, he knows you will be on the other side sometimes and not in his zone and that makes him worry like shit. He cant even focus on his mission and would think “Y/N, please dont die. Please.” Begging that you would be safe. When everyone regroups, he would look for you and and in a split second he recognizes you from afar and that makes his whole tense body relax. “Fuck. What took you long?” he would say that and go up to you, “I went to get some water for my horse, are you alright Levi?” He just stood there, studying your eyes which would make you blush and you guys....end up giving butterfly kisses to each other! and that now become your thing. And guess what, he REALLY likes them, it ironically gives him butterflies in his stomach too.
Once you guys part away, he would touch his eyelashes softly just to feel your touch again and sense that are you still by his side. alive. (please give him more hugs)
Whenever you get a cut, even the smallest ones, he would always say and bring his hand out towards you “Come here”. “Levi, dont worry its a small cut!” You shyly say, “I see the injury, so come here.” and he would proceed to treat you so carefully and his full focus and attention while treating you makes your mind race like crazy. His sharp grey eyes on your knee and his finger tips would be cold when he touches your skin and that would make you shiver but you felt his love. And it made you love him again and again.
He would take any opportunity to treat your smallest injuries just as his ‘excuse’ to be really near you. And when he is done, he would look up and glance at your eyes and you guys just sit there looking at each other so loveling. He wants to try kissing you so bad and you can tell by the look of his eyes on how he focus on your pupils as it dilates, and he gets lost in your beautiful eyes. You both were about to kiss until someone calls out your name and that broke your focus and jolted up so quickly, blushing like crazy. He gets also lowkey embarrassed, and both of you get up. “O-Okay, I have to go....thanks Levi.” and he would nod with a slight blush.
Whenever he sees you carrying stuff as he would pass by, he always offers to carry it for you but still takes it away from you either way. 
He notice he is such a gentleman towards you especially and he is actually a loyal and a great man for you (too great).
He knows he stutters a lot whenever he tries to talk to you, so he doesn't trust himself to talk much to you cause he always fucks up, so he would rather listen.  When you guys meet up and talk about your day, Levi ends up being such a good listener and he loves hearing what you always had to say. “Go on, tell me more.”
Later in the relationship, he starts to feel less nervous after having many talks with you during late nights in his office and he open up to you. About his past, his life in the underground and then you later realized he is quite talkative. Would  definitely bitch about you with others and he does that on purpose cause he wants to see you laugh about it, and when you do he feels so great, you boost his ego. 
Once he was with the other soliders to train them combat style training, and he did such an impressive move that you saw from a distance. You would later go up to him and he noticed you, "Wow you're awesome when you did that move!" you would say with such an amazed expression and that actually makes him happy inside but then said “...and when I don't?" This man is always concerned, and he kinda lowkey wants you to complement him more?? Becomes needy about it.
Mentioning that, you guys slowly started to use pet names for each other. He really takes pride to it and feels so lucky to have someone to call him that and not anyone but you saying it to him meant the world for him. but, once you did not say love just once, and he actually went back to his office and really though about it for the rest of the day. He becomes really quiet in the evening and you can’t figure out what it is. So you asked. “Love what’s wrong?”. And there, he started to talk a lot more now. He realized then he can act like a kid sometimes but you found it so cute.
He also memorized and remembers your knocks and footsteps and just calls you in before even addressing anything. He was secretly waiting for you to come and he got the tea ready, and of course the table clean and even the chair extra clean cause he doesn't want any dirt on you. And of course, you are his lover so he wants the best for you.
You and Levi planned to go out to the city to buy some stuff, but he wanted to surprise you and take you to wall sina instead to this small shop to buy you an accessory that you liked. But that failed since it started to rain, “Great, shitty fucking weather.” 
Always touches your cheek tenderly and ask what is wrong when he sees you down. “Love, tell me.” He would keep looking at you and you would suddenly forget what made you upset and start to get timid . “Come on...stop you are making me shy..”. He just loves looking at you especially your eyes. “Y/N”. Suddenly he got all serious, and he gently grabbed your both of your shoulders. “I really…l-like you…” he tried to say all clumsily while leaning close to your face, but you know he is trying his best to show you his affection and love.
Whenever he gives you his back and you would see his neat and clean undercut, you would leave small kisses on it. That’s when you found out thats his soft and sensitive spot and he blushes like crazy, not expecting it but doesn't say anything. Once he was in his office alone, he would cover his face with his left hand and start to nervously say ‘Fuck...why is Y/N so damn cute, I’m gonna lose it.’
Levi loves to tease you sometimes, when they tell Levi to cut it out, but he would turn around and give you a small smirk and...chuckle a bit? You would think, wait actually nevermind let him continue.
Anything, literally anything you ask Levi to do or bring something, he is already up and willing to get it for you. “Hey love, could I please-”. “Here.” He knew what you wanted, a snack, so he just open his drawer and gave you your favorite pack of biscuits. “Have it all.” It was one of his ways to show affection and would actually feel good once you thanked him. Watch him giving you more next time.
Keeps. every. single thing. you give your man. He even has a separate drawer for you and he cherish the things you give him. You are the only one who does that to him and he loved that you were the one.
Outside, in the training area, when no one was looking he would push some of your hair that was hanging on your side behind your one of your ear. And you both would exchange glances, a look which both needed the other and the love was real.
Surprise, but he loves it when you kiss his Adam’s apple and would close his eyes while hugging you tightly.
You are the only one he trusts to have his keys to his office and once when Levi entered his office, he saw y/n laying on the coach, sleeping so quietly it warmed his heart. “Y/N waited for me this whole time?”. He would sit beside y/n and cover them with his jacket. He secretly then takes your hand and kisses it.
Overall, Levi has finally found the one, which is you, y/n. And this man would risk his life just for you. He would love his partner so deeply and wants to always be by your side and make sure that as long as you both had each other, things will be okay, and once everything is over he already thought that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. 
well this was longer than I expected!! I really do hope you all enjoy this and somehow you felt some love and fluff from Levi c: please do leave a like or a reblog if you liked it! 
252 notes · View notes
introloves · 4 years
Note
Hi beautiful! I hope you’ve smiled at least once today 🌷 May I request Daddy Kyoutani fucking his little muffin after telling her twice to stop studying because she’s been studying for hours with no end? So he helps her destress while also putting her in her place for being stubborn, and then cuddles her and gives her some encouragement and sweet kisses as he says that he’s proud of her.
hihihihi!! tysm!!! i definitely did! today was a fun day <3 no penetration for this one (sorry ;-;) but we do get a rly nice dom! kyou taking care of his baby
— daddy! kyoutani + punishment + praise + fluff
your back pops horribly when you straighten it, arms stretching up to the roof in order to get a good stretch in. kyoutani hears your grumbling immediately, pushing off the bed to make his way to you.
“get up.” he huffs, frowning at your absolutely red eyes, bloodshot and strained from all the work you’ve been doing. he’s come to stop you multiple times now, but he looks serious with this one.
“kyou, i cant.”
he dismisses your whine with a quick kiss to your temple.
“you have tomorrow.” is all he says, picking your hand up from the desk and tugging you towards the bed. you’d usually be complacent to his advances, you want nothing more than to cuddle the rest of the night away, but finals were approaching and you didn’t want to spend any of his free day studying.
“no, i cant.” you repeat, tugging his hand off yours. you look so crestfallen, sad and just plain tired.
kentarō would have stopped his advances right then and there, but he knew you’d just work yourself to the ground.
“no?” he echoes, standing upright.
the sudden change to his voice made you stop, mouth shutting closed because its the same tone he uses when he commands you to listen.
“no? is that what you said?” he steps forward pressing himself flush against your body, index finger curling under your chin, tilting it up to look at him dead in the eyes. your hearts already pumping at twice the speed it’s supposed to, legs going numb with what might happen next.
hes challenging you, well, asking you to challenge him.
and like always, youre such a good girl you dont say a thing. wide eyes just staring up at him, waiting for him to say something, to make you do anything.
“good, now get on your knees.” your silence now doesn’t negate the fact that you didnt listen the first handful of times to take a break. he was patient all evening, he couldnt see you lifelessly stare at your screen and textbooks any longer.
he knew what you needed, you needed to not think, rest your head and let him take the reigns.
with no sound, or noise of complaint you did just that, hands patiently waiting on your lap.
he takes his time to pet you, palm soothing over your cheek before reaching into his pants and pulling his dick out.
hes soft, wasnt really expecting to take you like this, or tonight at all. he had been perfectly happy with keeping you close, holding your body tight agaisnt his own through the night.
but with the way your mouth pops open, tongue slipping out to wait for him, he can feel the blood rush south.
“hm, you look real pretty like that.” he growls, placing the head of him against your tongue, shivering as he fucks his fist, watching you rock back and forth on the floor, trying to get off and he lets that slide, you’ve been through enough.
he doesn’t last long, using your mouth to dispose a heavy load.
your jaw hurts from keeping the same position, but god is the soreness worth watching his stomach tense, knees opening slightly to brace against the dizzying speed he orgasm at, and tasting his cum land hotly against it.
“fuck, fuck. so good, youre such a good girl.” kentarō groans, throwing his head back, hand running over his short hair to gather all the perspiration thats formed at the crown of his head.
he can hear you whine, whimper at the way he looks. once the throbbing in his dick dies down, he comes back to you.
he wouldn’t miss seeing you swallow his cum for anything, you make sure to clean your lips of it, humming and sitting back with a content smile.
he all but growls while grabbing your body, hugging you tightly against him.
“love you so much.” he exhales, relaxing as your arms wrap around him as well. he stands there, swaying you back and forth, tracing his name against your back.
“c’mon, its your turn dont you think?”
1K notes · View notes
delicrieux · 3 years
Note
Prompt 56 and/or 66 for Corpse perhaps? 💕
・:* ☆ author’s note: dont let the title fool u this fic is actually just angst </3 also it takes place before quarantine i dont condone partying during the pandemic lmao. from the prompt list: 56. “You didn’t call. You didn’t text. Nothing.”
masterlist.。・:*:・゚☆
Tumblr media
He’s worried. Hardly a surprise - he’s always worried about something. Anxiety makes him rigid. It’s hard to breathe, and for a second he thinks he has forgotten how to do that in the first place. It’s the swirling crowd, the bright lights, loud music and perfumed, hot air. Makes his head spin. It’s hard to focus. Maybe that’s why he didn’t stay for long. He never meshed well with people - they rejected him somehow, or perhaps it’s his anxiety that told him that they did. He had wandered around that fucking house for two hours, trying to find a quiet corner to just relax, yet to no avail.
One minute here, maybe two, was all it took for him to become inexplicably overwhelmed.
He came because you asked. Friends do things for other friends and he knew you were looking forward to it - it was the only thing you were talking about the past week. Picking out an outfit, fixing your hair, indulging in something stronger than lemonade or sparkling water. You had taken the time to coordinate your clothes with his. Matching color scheme, the two of you had shown up dressed to the nines. People flocked you instantly. You got swept away in the current too quickly for him to realize he was left to fend on his own. 
You found him a few times after that, dragged him to the dance floor. Your hands were pleasant to the touch, gentle and warm. Your smile was a bit sloppy, eyes twinkling, cheeks flustered from the heat and the drinks and the laughter. It made him smile, too. You had asked him where he disappeared to. Repeated the question seven times because he couldn’t hear you over the music. You leaned in in a last ditch effort to find an answer; your breath tickled the shell of his ear. He had no concrete reply to give you. Just here and there.
More searching. The minute handle seemed stuck in place for him. He couldn’t phantom how you could relish in all this noise. He heard remnants of a conversation and your bell-like laughter and found you in the kitchen. People clustered around you. You seemed engaged in a story about some ski-trip gone bad. He felt a pang in his chest, something stuck between desperation and longing, and wanted to join your side instantly and stay there and maybe wrap his arm around your shoulders or-
His mind insisted that he wasn’t pleasant company. What could he offer to a conversation involving five people?
He left to haunt the halls instead. Ten more minutes of torment, perhaps even less than that, and he went home.
His head is still pounding with a headache, even when he lays in bed, staring at his shadowed ceiling. His heart is racing in his chest, oddly reminiscent of the erratic drum of music he had heard at the party. His phone keeps buzzing with an influx of messages. He wills himself to check it.
(NAME) ♡
↪yo the fuck?? ↪ where are u?? ↪ did u go home??? i cant find u anywhere i checked the bathroom twice ↪ sum1 said they saw u leaving wtf??? ↪ you didn’t think to call?? ↪  or text??? ↪ nothing??? ↪ corpse the hell call me NOW
He doesn’t get a chance to text you back, or do anything else for that matter, because his screen flashes with a call and his finger hoovers over the Decline button. He doesn’t go through with it. A moment later your shrill voice fills his ear.
“You alive?!”
Alive? He’s not sure, so he settles with, “Not dead.”
You audibly sigh; he can’t see it, but your hand is resting on your chest, “Thank God. You seriously scared me.” You chuckle nervously, “You’re home, yeah?”
“...Yes. Sorry for freaking you out, I just...wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t want to ruin your fun.”
“...What? Didn’t want to ruin-- you ruin shit by leaving with me with some assholes. You have any idea how many stories I had to listen to today? Horrible, every single on of them. The party was a bust anyway. I’m gonna be at yours in, like, ten minutes.”
“Wait--” He sits up, “You’re...coming over?”
“That’s what I said, yeah. Unless you don’t want me to, but, uhm, I’m already in my Uber, so--”
“No, no, I don’t mind, I just--uhh--I thought you wanted...to...stay and party?”
“I wanted to party with you.” You stress, “I know you don’t exactly like crowds but when you said yes I got really excited and--and well...Yeah that’s it. I just got excited. Next time we can stay in or go to the movies or something.”
“Shit,” He mutters, “I need to clean my room.”
“Okay, I’ll leave you to it, but next time? Do me a favor and just let me know when you decide to arrivederci. Send a pigeon. Leave graffiti on the walls. Do something, you seriously scared me.”
His smile is back, and he feels as if he hadn’t smiled in years, “Promise. Thanks, (Name).”
“The hell you’re thanking me for? I’m the one that should be thanking you, since I’m inviting myself over.”
“You’re always invited.” He says, a bit breathless, but now for an entirely different reason, “You’re a...” His tongue suddenly feels too big for his mouth. Clearing his throat, he continues, steadily this time, “You’re a great friend.”
Right, friend, friends do things for other friends. You’re just being a good friend, nothing more.
“...Oh. Yeah, you’re a great friend, too.”
So why do you sound so disappointed? It’s a feeling he definitely shares.
“See you in a few.” You mutter before hanging up. 
Fuck, maybe he’s still a bit out of it, because he can’t focus again, his mind persistently trailing back to the word friend. It echoes. For the first time in his life it sounds unpleasant.
No time. He’ll figure it out when you get here. You’ll both figure it out. Or maybe you won’t. That idea halts his movements, makes him reluctant to get out of bed. No time. He doesn’t move. Only when the buzzer indicates your arrival behind his front door does he finally get up.
He feels like he’s still at that stupid party. Confused and anxious and for some reason afraid.
All of that melts promptly when he opens the door and finds you there, smiling at him in the lovely way you do. “...Hi.” You say sweetly, quietly.
His heart thuds in his chest. He dips his head in a wordless greeting and steps aside to let you in.
“I forgot to clean.” He confesses as you take off your shoes.
“Literally don’t care.” You utter, “I was thinking we could watch something on Netflix. Something funny. Or bad. Or funny bad. How does that sound?”
That sounds like not talking. Maybe that’s for the best.
“Yeah, sure.”
.
hope you liked it! xx
.
656 notes · View notes
oh-for-fic-sake · 3 years
Text
Fearfull Proposal
Summary: henry plans a romantic proposal... and instead of coming clean about your secret fear of heights and ruining his romantic plan, you put on a brave face... well until your nearing the top of the london eye.
Warnings: fear, fluff, swearing, typos.
Tumblr media
You quivered as you rose higher and higher over londons skyline.
Fuck why? Why the fuck had you got in this dangling glass death trap. A faulty few bolts and you'd be plummeting into the fucking thames!
Henry was standing by the window looking out at the glittering lights in awe.
You were standing with your back turned to the houses of Parliament hands clutching the rail eitherside of you knuckles white. Knees knocking.
God this was the stupidest thing you'd ever fucking done! And it was your own fault.
"Babe, look! God big ben looks soo small never been on this at night"
You hummed nodding but continued looking to the floor.
Henry paused when you didnt correct him with the whole 'big ben is the bell' you usually countered
He turned looking back to you and his stomach dropped.
"Babe? Whoa are you okay there love?" He asked frowning as he saw your eyes clenched shut almost as if you were in pain.
You were trembling and pale to the point he fearded youd pass out.
"Here come sit down and relax, i packed some snacks-" he said placing the specially packed bag of snacks and screw top mini wine bottles.
"No! No I'm fine... I will just stay here... By the saftey bar" you said giggling nervously sparing him a glance and patting the metal you were holding onto for dear life..
Henry faltered and really took in your apperance unsure what to do. It wasn't like he could get you off, you had to ride the ride.
"Babe? Are you scared of heights?"
"Nooo dont be sillyeee- OH MY GOD IM GONNA FUCKING DIE!" you began laughing him off then screamed as the ride stopped.
Instantly you ducked crouching whilst wrapping your arms around the silver bar shouting bloody murder.
It didn't help you were bathed in purple light so couldn't see shit.
Henry got up and rushed to you standing over you arms rounding you holding you securly.
"No, no its fine love... shh its fine baby, they said it could stop to let people on poppet remember?" He said quickly rubbing your sides as you cowered trying to fend off the temptation to look at the thames below.
"Y-yeah fuck hen- im sorry i just..." you mewled turning towards him tucking your head to his chest.
"Scared of heights huh? Why didnt you tell me?" He sighed pressing kisses to your head as you whimpered adn the ride began moving once again.
"Because you went to all this trouble, you planned this surprise and i didnt want to ruin it, you were soo excited" you sniffled blinking at him.
"Hey shh you silly girl, you should have told me. You wouldnt have ruined anything you silly sausage" he cooed winding himself around you tighter.
He was actually annoyed at himself, how the fuck had he not known his girlfriend of a year and a half was scared of heights?
He'd suspected a fear of heights when you both went on holiday for your birthday, but youd managed to convince him it was a fear of flying and planes... not heights.
And come to think of it you didnt even like the glass lifts in shopping centers, you ran to the corner and held on eyes locked onto the doors the entire time.
So this was the worst surprize he could of planned for tonight. Things weren't going to plan. Fuck.
"Babe im sorry" he apologised feeling like an asshole.
"No no dont be, this was extremly sweet bear" you said quickly not wantin to make him feel bad fpr your own short commings.
"Theres noting sweet about terrifying you"
"Do... do you want to sit down? Ill hold you the entire time" he offered peaking to the central bench where both your bags sat.
"I.. yes okay i think sitting will be better" you said then yipped as he prompty scooped you up and placed you in his lap securly.
"Im so sorry love, I just wanted to make this special and romantic" he muttered holding you as close as he could letting you know that you were safe and sound.
"It is! It is love really im just a baby" you said quickly grasping his face pulling him closer before peppering his face with kisses.
"Your not a babe we all have our fears" he said quietly pressing his forehead to yours.
"You dont" you sighed closing your eyes trying to ignore the snails pace of the pod that still rose over london.
You could barely feel it, but your fear amplified it.
"Oh but i do~" he replied peering at you, as yur eyes fluttered open.
"Like what?" The questionnescaped before you could think.
"No" he said eyes now becoming worried, anxiety clouding them.
"No?"
"Yes, at the moment thats my biggest fear" he said releasing a shakey breath as you frowned at him not following but didnt dwell as your ees darted to the side seeing the houses
"You see, i was trying to be all romantic and wait untill we got tp the top, but i think you'll be too terrified"
"Henry?" You said leaning back unsure about the serious tone he seemed to take.
"I brought us here, to the spot we met two years ago today..." he said drawing deeper breaths as the reality of what was about to happen hit him.
"Was it really?" You asked surprized he'd remember something like that. Anniversary? Definitely. But the day you first met? And asked for a selfie with a series of embarrassing squeaks? No you didnt think he'd remember.
"Yep. I remember doing a promo and shoot on this thing, then got off and was sat next to you in wagamama"
"And i squeaked for a selfie" you groaned with a small giggle.
"Im glad you did, i scanned instagram for days after- scouring my hashtag trying to find you... i kicked myself for not getting your number~"
"I still cant belive you did that... but im gld you did henry"
"Who'd have thought the nervous little thing trying not to even breath in my direction would be my girlfriend six months down the line"
"Or that we'd last this long?" You quipped at him trying to reme,ber to breath.
"And.. hopefully a lifetime? Despite me dragging you intoyour actual living nightmare- which i promise to never do again! Not even lifts"
You scowled and tilted your head to him not sure if you heard him correctly.
Untill he pulled the small velvet box from his pocket.
"Henry?! What? You cant be serious?"
"Oh but i am love, as much as i want to do this right and drop to one knee i doubt you'll thank me for releasing you?"
"Dont you dare let me go!"
"I think you'll find im trying to do the opposite~" he chuckled opening the box revealing the simple elegant ring three tiny diamonds.
"Im trying to marry you..."
You gasped eyes glazing over as you locked on to the dainty ring pinched between his fingers.
"I love you y/n, and i want to know if you'd become my wife and share your life with me. Will you marry me?"
"Oh god yes of course its a yes henry i love you bear!" You cried throwing your arms around him making him grunt and quickly clench his fist arohnd the ring before he dropped it.
He groaned into you rocking from side to side littering your head with kisses before peeling you away to sit the ring on your finger.
You looked at the glittering stones on your finger weeping. You may have been cursing yourself for getting into this godforsaken glass bauble in the sky.
But now you were he happiest woman alive.
"I love you bear"
"I love you too"
"Would you like some wine? I brough the little cute bottles you like" he offered nodding to the bag of snacks.
"Err lets not push it hun" you whined not sure wine at this altitude was a good idea.
You kept glancing at him still sniffing and giggleing unable to look from your ring for long.
"Gotcha, no wine"
"You look surprized i said yes?"you quipped needing to talk and take your mind off the fact your at the tippity top.
"I made you face one of your nightmares i thought you'd slap me silly when i ask" he scoffed pressing a kiss to your cheek unable to stop.
"Never love... but please never ever get on this thing again okay?" You pleaded fluttering your lashes at him pleading.
"I swear. Never again, but seeing as this is our one and only ride we should take a few selfies? Mark the occasion?" He said standing letting your feet hit the floor but never once did he let go.
"Absolutly, gotta show off my new fiancé" you hummed rising to share another kiss with him not really paying attention to the height you'd now reached, you had more important things to think about. Like sharing the rest of your life with this glorious man.
"My thoughts exactly" he grinned pulling out his phone aiming it at the two of you, makeing sure to have the hand that rested on his chest donning his ring in shot.
154 notes · View notes