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popculturebuffet · 2 years

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Watchmen Issue By Issue Retrospective: “The Judge of All The Earth”

Hello all you happy people and once again time’s up, times here for the Watchmen, courtesy as always of @weirdkev27 whose monthly patreon sponsored reviews have made this retrospective possible If you have something you want me to look at every month or just some fun one offs yourself consider joining my patreon here. 5 bucks a month gets you a review, a vote when I do my monthly polls, and other fun stuff.

Previously on Watchmen:

As it turns out the Comedian somehow slighted everyone related to both to the Minutemen and the almost team the Crimebusters. Neither were named the Watchmen because shut up, filling in the world while aslo filling us in on just how much no one would miss the attempted rapist and pregnant mother of his own child murderer, while also setting up important things for this issue: Dr. Manhattan’s slowly growing detatchment from humanity and one of his old foes having cancer. We also found out whatever’s going on is big and horrifying that again the guy who shot an unborn child for kicks was terrified by it. So join me under the cut as we pick up from there as things only get worse for our heroes and for the judge of all the earth. Content Warning: Violence and Sexual Assault will be discussed due to the material being reviewed.

We open with a black teenager reading a pirate comic next to a surly newstand owner ranting about how comics changed, how real life capes killed the superhero genre, about how we should nuke the reds. Standard “okay grandpa” stuff. I do find it a neat shift though that here superhero comics never got the second wind they did in real life after WWII, but died out.

The comic, Tales of the Black Freighter, was, like the various fictional book excerpts, added to pad out the comic while still enriching it, a story that parallels our main villians and his fears as a captain and the sole survivior of a ship wreck deals with isolation and corpses. Originally I just skimmed these bits.. and that was dumb as their still thoughly enjoyable and in my teenage idiocy, I was so focused on getting through the plot I didn’t stop to consider this extra stuff was vital to flavoring said plot.

Anyways the creepy redhead man who we later learn is rorschach scares the crap out of the guy as we cut to laurie in bed with Jon, who decide she has time enough before his confrence for a quickie... and to make this a three way as he decides to use TWO of himself which freaks her out. What I like is how Moore treats this: she’s RIGHT to be freaked out as he didn’t ask her first and her consent is king. While it’d be a fun treat if he showed he was cloning himself across two bodies, without her knowing it’s instead a terrifying invasion and he rightfully stops the moment she starts acting in terror. Given HOW LONG it took media to get consent right, I give moore credit here.

Laurie is willing to forgive though since it was a well meaning if still creepy mistake.. until she finds out Jon WASN’T EVEN IN THE ROOM, using two of his clones to stimulate her while he worked and got ready for his interview. It’s hugely unsettling too: the idea of making love to your partner only to find out he wasn’t even in the room, that he cared so little for your consent that taking care of your needs and pleasing you was just a box to check off while he did “more important things” it’s immensely creepy and Laurie’s walking out is understandable... while Jon is so detached he barely registers it.

And as she leaves we see contrasting shots of Jeanny Slater, Jon’s ex... and from her dialouge it’s easy to wager she ALSO has cancer, as she’s taken up smoking again simply because it no longer matters. And she’s talking to some paper called nova express, whose gathering a story on Jon... I see this ending ENTIRELY well for him and the world in general.

So Laurie naturally runs to quite literally the only friend she has.. Dan. Dan’s getting a new lock because he’s the only friend Rorshach has EVER had and he’d like this cycle to stop at some point. Also nice little mythological nod, the locksmith being from “Gordanian Knot” lock co..and one that if spotted you can probably guess how well this works out. Then again Dan Dreiberg, mechanical whiz who built himself a fucking flying ship and gadgets.. can’t be bothered to create an alarm system so this is more on him. Or on doors. They are the greatest foe of Vox Machina for a reason after all.

Either way Laurie needs a shoulder to turn to and very transparently having a crush on Laurie, and even if he didn’t being a generally decent man, with Laurie admitting she just thinks Jon sees her as a collection of Atoms.

So thus our big climax for the issue is two parallel stories and in a way so brilliant yet subtle I only noticed while doing this review: the dan and laurie half is in heavy red and yellow contrasts, while the Manhattan half is in mostly full colors but with a lot of purple and of course Manhattan’s blue (which is darker in this scene due to him darkening it for television). This allows a clear division between both stories besides content, contrasting colors without hurting the eyes or drawing too much attention to itself. The most clever trick though is that one panel is always bigger than the other and every page in this one has the same structure: jon’s side has one small panel, one double panel and one small panel, and lauries has double, small double. It also shows gibbons is ALWAYS working in the comics trademark 9 panel framework, something I never considered, simply expanding panels when needed but still keepign the same layout. While I always appricated Moore’s work on the book and always thought Gibbons was talented this readthrough has given me such an apprication for just how heavily thought out Gibbons work here is. How EVERY panel is placed perfectly, every gesture has a reason. I feel it’s gibbons why we’ve had artists like mike allred, jamie mckelvie and david aja since who truly use the panel as the canvas it waas always meant to be.

Dan and Laurie’s story is the easiest to cover so we’ll tackle that first. The two take a walk to Hollis.. but get accosted by muggers. Even with Dan out of shape and both likely long out of practice.. they still EASILY kick their asses and it’s glorious to watch. They also pant heavily afterwords.. and two thigns are clear: one that felt amazing and two..

So they awkwardly part glances then ways since Laurie’s tired enough for one night.. and clearly trying to ignore how she feels about dan as she’s still sorting the rubble of her previous relatoinship.

As for Jon his night goes even worse as has been building: the guy from Nova ambushes him at what’s supposed to be a palid, crowd pleasing press interview to say ther’es nothing going on in afganhistan for him to intervene on, usual goverment dribble... but is noticably affected as the pieces come together: his former assitant/jimmy olson, jeany, moloch.. they all have cancer.. and he’s the common thread. And despite his detachment... this CLEARLY rattles the guy, not wanting to answer questions not for the usual reasons but because this is a genine shock. and the crowd MOBBING the guy instead of letting him leave and process this.. goes about as well as you’d expect. (Rearranged the panels for this just as a heads up.. and for convience)

He simply teleported them.. but the sheer weight of everything is a lot. But it says a lot to Hollis’s character, as he tells dan the bad news, that despite Jon being so powerful.. he’s not afraid for himself or anyone in the audience.. but Jon.

We then get an absolutley GORGEOUS sequences as Jon announces to his minders, who were planning to quarnitine him, that since he dosne’t seem fit for humanity anymore, he’s going to the last place untouched by captalism.

And he’s going now after a brief stop in arizona to pick up an old photo of Jeanie.. and himself before he transformed, bidding one last look to the sky... as he goes away in a massive flash of light, a truly haunting sequence.

And the next day the news has hit.. and the implications are clear. The cold war was as hot as it was in the real world... but here they had manhattan as a living nuclear deterrent. Now he’s gone, things are bad and the once mouthy newsman.. is now shaken to his core and gives the kid at his stand the comic... figuring there’s not much time left.

Laurie faces bad news as she finds her room being scrubbed by men in hazmat suits, and the agent basically blaming her for it, asking if she put him under stress.. and while he’s right america’s nuclear deterrient being gone is VERY bad..... she’s not at fault, and it shoudln’t be her , or anyones fucking job to be someone sole emotoinal support. Especially a walking bomb. if you were geninely concerned about this, you should’ve gotten him a friend AND laid. But you only gave him one person so when he finally emotonally collapsed he had no one to help him.

Dan also gets the bad news his lock was broken by who.. but unlike last time where he was a condescnding ass about dan quitting.. this time Shack Attack seems geinely concerned.. as much as a human facebook post from my uncle chuck can be anyway. His theory their after heroes is no longer that... and Dan isn’t safe.

And the ending is as this issue has been potetic and striking... Jon arriving at the beauty and wonder of mars and for the first time in three issues.. smiling.. before frowning at his old photo. All this contrasted with President Nixon and his men in the war room seeing that an attack would at BEST take out the east coast, and that a “quirk of the wind” could doom them all and giving it only a week to think.. and the country possibly only one week to live. This ending hit harder for obvious reasons: with the ongoing invasion by russia and putin trying to use the nuke as a bludgeon to prevent other countries from doing more than sanctions and slowly draining his people’s economy and freedoms while trying to destroy an innocent country. I.. I wish.. I honestly wish things had gotten better and this story was no longer relevant. But until people get better and until madmen like putin stop existing.. that simply will never happen and it always will be. Thank you for reading.

A current ongoing games bundle to help the ukraine.

#the watchmen #watchmen #dr manhattan #dc comics #alan moore

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cinebration · 3 years

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Cuts & Bruises, Wounds & Abuses (Captain Syverson x Reader) [Part 14]

You get to play cards with the men.

Tagged: @scuzmunkie, @thethirstyarchive, @maan24, @igotkatiepowers, @sugarpenchant, @lamthetwickster, @omgkatinka, @helloitsmeamie203, @simply-heaven, @l-u-n-a-m, @fckdeusername, @woterezwhet, @olkathechaoticfox, @bethabear12, @bloodyinspiredfuck, @flor-la-ganga95, @nothingright, @tapismyforte, @thebonzifonzibrothers, @peakymidwinter, @fanfictionaddiction99, @thereisa8ella, @kmuir1, @bichibibi, @love-yourself-first-tfw, @thorins-queen-of-erebor, @lou-la-lou, @kat002nd, @babypink224221, @speakerforthedead0, @rn7rocks, @sofiebstar, @wheretheriversrunintothesea, @thatchickwiththecamera, @louiiissa, @october505, @turkish276, @heartfelt-pen, @mstgsmy, @kazzilla, @alyxkbrl, @suhke3, @summersong69, @untraveled-road, @wiccanmetallicrose, @crispysublimecupcake, @evangeline73aster, @eldarwen333, @calwitch, @contentobsessor, @noseyrosey1597, @the-problem-of-leisure

Warnings: none

Gif Source: henry-cavlll

Your encounter with Syverson left you puzzled—so much so that you stared at your notebook for an hour without so much as putting one word to the page.

Now that the pain of your arm was starting to become something more in the background, you had a chance to filter through the events of the last few days. Studiously avoiding the attack, you focused instead on the aftermath.

Particularly Syverson’s treatment of you.

The night on the rooftop…the look on his face, the words he had said—“I’m not your enemy”—they plagued you, asking to be deciphered. Hadn’t he treated you with hostility up until the attack? Was he taking pity on you now because of your injury?

Your response had been ill-considered. The look of genuine hurt on his face had sent you reeling and scurrying past him, afraid of what that meant. Everyone else seemed to be friendly with you, but the captain…it seemed each time you made progress with him, one of you would say something to set it all back.

Except for today. Despite the previous night’s stupid answer, he had shown up and offered to help you. And he had seemed genuinely concerned about your arm.

He’s worried you’ll be even more scathing than he imagines in your article, the cynical part of you said.

Maybe, maybe not.

After all, you still dreamed of the memory of him hovering over you in the Humvee, trying to keep you conscious. Of how you had been overwhelmed with gratitude and relief that he was there, protecting you.

A knock on the door interrupted your thoughts. Robinson smiled from the doorway. “I was wondering if you’d like to play cards with us.”

You returned his smile. “I’m a terrible poker player.”

“Too bad we’re playing with Mahmoud, otherwise I’d love to take your money.”

You chuckled. “What’s wrong with Mahmoud?”

“He’s too good. Captain says we can’t gamble with him.”

You glanced down at the blank notebook. “Okay, I’ll play.”

“Excellent.”

Of all the games you expected, Go Fish wasn’t one of them. You laughed as you took the seat next to Mahmoud. His shuffling was clumsy, indicative of his lack of familiarity with card games, but he dealt you five cards with a flourish that nearly sent the deck flying out of his hands.

“Who’s the fourth?” you asked, gesturing to the empty seat opposite you.

“Me,” Syverson said, entering the room and sitting in the chair.

Swallowing thickly, you offered him a smile. He hesitated before a very small one peeked out from his beard.

“Why can we not bet in this game?” Mahmoud asked. It sounded like it wasn’t his first time asking.

“I won’t be giving you anymore money,” Syverson answered, mockingly gruff.

“You still owe me!”

“Exactly.”

The easy banter warmed your heart as you listened. Picking up the cards with your good hand, you slid them across the table to the edge and peeked at them as though playing poker, unable to put them properly in your hand. Pushing out a pair of sevens, you set them aside and let the rest lie flat on the table.

“So,” Robinson said, taking up his cards, “how is what happened the other day going to affect your article?”

A thick silence snapped taut overhead.

Syverson’s gaze bored into you. You met it briefly, held your ground, before shifting focus to Robinson. You pictured the bodies in the marketplace. Deakins’s charred corpse.

“I don’t know. Seeing as I’m writing about the struggles here, it can show how the problems here affect the locals, which in turn affect you.”

“What about you?”

You knew what he meant but feigned otherwise. “What about me?”

“You can’t write the article without talking about what happened to you.”

“Sure I can.” You shifted in your seat and glanced back at Syverson. “Isn’t it your turn?”

He didn’t glance at his hand. “Have any twos?”

“Go fish.”

He drew from the deck. Robinson flicked a glance between you both before asking Mahmoud, “Do you have any nines?”

Mahmoud handed one nine over.

“But doesn’t that affect how you write?” Robinson pressed.

“How should it?”

“You were hurt. That affects—”

“So?” An edge crept into your voice. Your arm burned in your lap.

“Could that create bias?”

You fixed Robinson with a stare. “You mean, will I become a war hawk and say that the enemy needs to be eradicated for their cruelty? No. I’m not here for that. I’m here to talk about you guys.”

“So what you’re saying is that you won’t say we didn’t protect you.”

You blinked, frowning at the abrupt shift in topic. “Of course not. I’m alive, aren’t I? And it’s still your turn.”

“Do you have any threes?”

“Go fish.”

Mahmoud coughed. “I will speak to the sheikh tomorrow to ask your questions.”

You nearly breathed a sigh of relief as the tension dissipated. “Thank you. Will that be after we go to the water station?”

Robinson glanced at Syverson. “We’re going to the station?”

“I am taking her there tomorrow,” Syverson confirmed, shifting uncomfortably beneath the man’s penetrating stare. “Prichard will join me. You have to take Mahmoud to the sheikh.”

Robinson nodded and turned back to you. “You interviewed Mahmoud, right?”

“Yes.”

“When do I get my interview?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “When do you have time?”

“Whenever you’d like.”

“Do you have any eights?”

He tossed two over. Feeling a stare, you looked up to see Syverson gazing at you again. “Do you have any sixes?”

He slid over one card. As you paired it with the six in your hand, he asked, “What about Deakins?”

You stilled and met his stare again. “With permission from his family, I will write about him.”

“His death wasn’t your fault.”

Chest constricting, you looked away, surprised by the sincerity in his voice and the intensity of his gaze. You still could picture Deakins offering you eggs and that wide smile of his as though it had happened that morning.

“We still have my interview to do.”

The quiet tone of Syverson’s voice commanded your attention. There was something behind his words you couldn’t place.

“That should be fun,” Robinson interjected, snorting. “He’ll give you two sentences to work with.”

Syverson shot him a glance as Mahmoud chuckled. The fraught silence broken, you breathed easy and caught yourself smiling—even as your stomach fluttered with the thought of being alone with Syverson again.

“What the fuck was that?” Syverson demanded.

“What was what?” Robinson asked.

“You know what.”

Syverson was fuming. He had almost slapped Robinson at the card table when the man pushed his questions for you too far. That Syverson had kept his mouth shut was a miracle.

Robinson heaved a sigh. “That woman is traumatized. She won’t even look at her arm! She needs to talk about it.”

“We’re not therapists”

“What therapist knows what that’s like? We do. More specifically, you do.”

The fact he was right infuriated Syverson further. “Stop playing fucking matchmaker.”

Shoving the man away from him, he stormed out of the room, stalked up to the roof for fresh air. Wind kicked up dust, assaulting him with grit. He couldn’t remember the last time he had showered. He desperately needed to scrub the desert from his skin.

The setting sun slipped slowly behind the horizon. He watched its progress, trying to calm himself.

Robinson, damn him, had spoken undeniable truth. You were hurting, even if you didn’t admit it. And if Syverson was your soulmate, he needed to be the one to help.

“Dammit.” Passing a hand over his face, he turned his back on the sunset. He suddenly found himself wondering what his mother would advise.

“You’re so focused on this idea of yourself and your life,” she might say, “that you don’t see the forest through the trees.”

There’s no forest here, he thought bitterly, staring out at the endless desert.

He could hear her voice in the wind. “Then make one.”

#Captain Syverson x Reader #Captain Syverson #Captain Syverson imagine #Henry Cavill x Reader #Henry Cavill #Henry Cavill imagine #Sand Castle (2017)#Netflix Sand Castle

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bellasweetwriting · 4 years

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Only The Brave

spencer reid x f.reader

not my gif

masterlist

plot; when the BAU goes to New York for a possible murder case, Spencer Reid gets to meet the captain of the 23rd Precinct of the NYPD, whom he immediately feels attracted to

warnings: fluff, angst, nervous Spencer, typical criminal minds stuff,

word count: 3.3k

Spencer arrived late to work that day.

"Woah... stop right there, pretty boy, " said Morgan as he interrupted him. Reid was trying to walk quickly to his desk and avoid any kind of interaction, but clearly, the curious FBI agents had other plans. "You look like if a train just ran you over."

"Not in the mood for your insults right now, Morgan, " defended Spencer as he sat on his chair.

"I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you."

"Well let me get you a Miss Congeniality award because you are just so darn delightful."

"What on Earth is going on with you, Doc? You never arrive late and even less with a sarcastic tone. What happened last night?"

Spencer couldn't hide it anymore. His pulse was unsteady and he was trembling. He had to tell someone.

"I had a bad date, " he murmured. Derek stepped closer.

"You what?" Derek asked, leaning in closer to Spencer. The doctor exhaled, looking around to Emily and JJ who were minding their own business before looking at Morgan.

"I had a bad date, " he repeated a little bit louder. Spencer sighed before continuing. "She was incredibly beautiful and the universe had to screw it up. Her name was Athena so I obviously started referencing the Greek Goddess which apparently she hated when that happened. And then, I started talking to her about organic chemistry, and guess what? She says "Oh! I took organic chemistry last year." so I obviously questioned if she was in college. Turns out, she's in senior year of high school... and I messed up the girl. She was waiting for a Sam, not a Spencer, and the girl I was supposed to meet had left an hour before because I never showed up. And Athena said that if I happened to actually be Sam, she wouldn't want a second date." Morgan raised his eyebrows, not knowing what to say. His problem was even worst than he imagined and he was kinda regretting asking in the first place. "So yeah, that's why I look like a zombie in The Walking Dead. How was your weekend, Morgan? Huh?"

"Oh my God! Spencer!" Exclaimed JJ as she approached them. Morgan started making signals with his hands to stop her from talking but she didn't look at him. "How was the date last night? Did you like my friend Amy?"

"Do you hate me JJ?" She looked at him confused. "Do you fancy awkward social engagements as a way of torture? Because if you have a problem with me then cry me a river and then drown yourself in it."

And with that, Spencer stood up and walked towards the coffee machine, leaving JJ really confused.

"Years of catching criminals and you don't understand simple hand signals, " critiqued Morgan.

"What on Earth happened on that date?"

"It is worse than you could possibly imagine. Probably will traumatize him and won't date for the next five years."

"Oh my..." whispered JJ while Morgan nodded.

"Guys!" Exclaimed Rossi, catching everyone's attention. "We got a case. A very important one."

"Do you know what case he's babbling about?"

"Nothing has come to my desk, " said JJ to Morgan. "That is weird."

Everyone entered the conference room and Spencer immediately walked towards JJ with a cup of coffee for her.

"Sorry for yelling at you, " he apologized. "I've just had a really bad night and took it out with you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Spence, everyone has the right to be in a bad mood. I'm glad you apologized, and thanks for the coffee."

"You're welcome." Both sat next to the other, waiting for Rossi to announce the new case. "Do you know what this is about?"

"I have no idea, " she replied, soon enough to receive Rossi, who started presenting the images of four women.

"Four women have gone missing in the same neighborhood of New York City, no bodies have been found. The detectives on the case called me personally with the suspicion that this is no longer a missing person case and it's rather a murder case, drawn to the fact that the victims have comparable face structure, hair color, body type, skin tone, and social status."

"The detectives called you?" Asked JJ. "Are they the higher command or?"

"No, uhm, their boss didn't think it was a murder case but they seemed so sure over the phone so I decided to take the case and help them out. I mean is their case, they can do whatever they think it's appropriate and ask for help if they need to."

"So we have no corpses, and this hasn't been officially named as a murder case by the higher authority of these New York detectives. Am I getting everything or did I miss something?" Questioned ironically Derek and Spencer decided to answer anyway.

"And, they called Rossi personally instead of presenting the case to JJ's office or calling Hotch."

"Yeah, that too, " said Morgan. "Rossi is there another explanation as to why we are taking this case?"

"Fine, " Rossi broke, inhaling deeply, "I want to meet their captain. And also save these women, of course."

"What are you talking about? Who's their captain?"

"The youngest female police captain in the entire country, " replied Hotch. "She's younger than Reid."

"Woah, " whispered Spencer, "but didn't you say she doesn't know that we are coming and that she doesn't think this is a murder case?"

"We'll try to convince her, " assured Rossi.

"Wheels up in 30," said Hotch, even though he wasn't convinced.

•••

The team arrived at the precinct, receiving bad looks from part of the detectives and cops. Nobody knew that the FBI was supposed to come.

"SSA Rossi, " someone called Rossi. A detective in his mid-30s walked towards the team with a smile. "I'm Detective Garrido, we spoke on the phone."

"Pleasure to meet you, detective, is your partner here?"

"Yes, here, Detective Smith." A young man raised his eyes from the file in his hands and walked towards the team, greeting everyone with a nervous smile. "We are both on the case."

In the second, Hotchner interrupted. He wasn't feeling alright with this case, something was bothering him.

"Gentlemen, I'm SSA Hotchner, may we speak with your supervisor?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask that, " whispered Garrido.

"I'll go find her, " told Smith before walking towards their boss's office, not so sure about if it was a good idea.

Spencer looked at the case files next to Emily. Indeed, the victims were similar to one another, also neighbors. But also, they were similar ages, probably they go to the same school, probably even friends. There was something more about this case that Rossi wasn't sharing.

"What does your boss thinks about this case, Detective?" Asked Hotch, looking at the file Spencer was holding.

"Well, there is the fact that the girls are friends and she thinks they ran away, but we don't. We think there's something else going on."

"So you called us, " finished Emily. "Yeah, definitely there's something going on."

"You did what!?" The team heard someone screaming from the captain's office. Everyone glanced at each other, not knowing what to do or how to proceed.

"God..." mumbled Garrido before looking at the BAU. "Ready to meet the witch of the west?" He turned around. "She's a pain in the ass."

In that, the door opened. A young woman walked out of the office. You could see how the officers were scared of her, and how nobody looked at her directly in the eyes.

She was beautiful, she spread confidence at every step, and kind of made you step back a little. She was indeed scary, and she didn't seem upset about that. She knew that she wasn't liked, yet still, that didn't let that bother her.

"Agents, " Y/N said, looking at the team. "My name is Captain Y/L/N, NYPD. I'm aware that detectives Garrido and Smith called you about the missing girls' case, behind my back. Let me tell you that you are welcome to work the case here in the conference room, but you would work hard to prove to me that these girls are actually missing. Also, detectives Garrido and Smith are at your disposition since this is their case, and also, their last case." The captain turned around to look at the detectives. "We will talk about your suspension and transfer another day."

The captain looked again at the team with a pretended smile.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, captain. I'm Agent Rossi, these are Agents Hotchner, Morgan, Prentiss, Jareau, and Doctor Reid."

When Y/N reached Reid's hand, he felt electricity around his body. His eyes were fully focused on the captain. He couldn't help but smile. She was beautiful, her eyes shined as she greeted him.

"Did you know that being in love reduces headaches frequency in half?" He quickly said, surprising everyone. "When researchers at the Stanford University School of Medicine gave subjects with chronic headaches a nasal spray with a dose of oxytocin, or the "love hormone," in it, they found that 50 percent of participants reported their head pain to be cut in half after four hours, with an addition 27 percent reporting no pain at all in the same timeframe."

Y/N nodded before letting go of his hand, looking at the team with a tiny smile.

"Call me if you need anything. I'll be in my office." She turned around and walked towards her office, avoiding the detectives that tried to talk to her.

Morgan and Emily turned around quickly to look at Spencer, who was blushing and staring at the floor.

"Don't say a thing, " mumbled the doctor. "Don't even— no."

"You have the hots for the captain!" Morgan exclaimed, making Spencer stand up and walk away. "Wait! Reid!"

"Leave me alone!"

While Morgan and Emily were teasing Reid, Hotch and Rossi entered Y/N's office, finding her sitting on her chair, looking around case files.

"Captain, " called her Rossi, making her look at them, "about the detectives..."

"Don't try to tell me that they were doing the right thing and that I shouldn't transfer them or suspend them. They didn't follow my orders."

"But they said that you didn't think it was a murder case."

"A murder case? Do they think there is murder involved? They never approached me about their suspicion. Actually, I remember they took their case on their own hands, never consult me about anything around it. If you want me to be honest, four teenage best friends go missing the same day, no bodies found... I see that as a teenage rebellion, not a missing case. And now they think there's a killer involved?"

"Captain, they are just asking for our help, nothing more, " replied Rossi. "I promise you that this is nothing personal. I'm actually a big fan."

"Agent, what would you think if your team talked bad behind your back until the point that they don't even consult you on things like asking the help of the FBI. It is insulting. I can tolerate being called witch, not being completely ignored and taken for granted by two sexist detectives who think I'm not able to do my job. Now if you excuse me, Agents, I'll continue working while you find out who kidnapped these girls."

And with that, Y/N returned to work while Rossi and Hotch left the office.

"What did the Captain say?" Asked JJ, catching Spencer's attention.

"She's going to let us work, " replied Hotch, "but she's going to suspend the detectives."

"For not thinking like her?" Assumed Morgan. "That's stupid."

"No, because apparently they never shared the details of the case with her. They didn't even tell her that they suspected that the girls were kidnapped and not that they left and were missing. And she's right."

"Let's just find these girls, " told Hotch as he sighed. "What do we got?"

•••

After the parents of the girls received a mysterious call from part of the kidnapper and Garcia wasn't able to identify the caller, Y/N started to believe that this was the work of a kidnapper, and after a few hours, the BAU was able to present the profile to the officers and the Captain.

"We are looking for a white man, between his late-30s and mid-40s, shy, probably works in the school of the girls as a janitor."

"He was able to track the girls' routine, by knowing exactly when they leave school and when they arrive home, also, knowing that the girls were going to be together on Friday, " said Emily.

"We think that we are not dealing with a killer for now. It's most unlikely that the stalker would kill his victim in the first 48 hours. He wants to spend time with them, complete the fantasy that he has made up in his mind with these girls as it leads, " announced Spencer."

"He was probably raised with sisters that weren't nice to him. He was probably bullied by his siblings and now he's trying to seek revenge with girls that look like his sisters, that's why he picked girls who are close to one another and also, that look alike."

"How are you certain about that?" Asked one of the officers.

"In the message that the Unsub left to the parents, he said "They are going to pay. They are going to pay for what they did.", clearly talking about his own personal experience that he now portrayed in the four girls. It's most likely that the stalker brought the girls to his own family house to complete the fantasy."

"We are looking for people that worked on the high school the girls attended. A shy employee with a low position, trying not to upset any of his superiors, with a job that makes him able to watch the girls. He's had this plan on his head for a long time."

"Give this profile to the workers at school and the parents, see if someone like that has done work in their houses. It's possible that he has stepped outside his comfort zone before and has actually interacted with the girls previously."

At the end of the profile, the BAU looked over the captain, waiting for her approval. She nodded before standing in front of the officers.

"You heard the FBI. Catch this guy and bring these girls home. Dismissed."

The officers stood up and left the conference room, leaving the Agents, the two detectives, and the captain. Y/N turned around, nodding slowly.

"Thanks for your help, Agents. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Actually, " said Morgan, making Spencer even more nervous than he already was. "You can join the doctor as he looks for records about the employees in the girls' high school."

"Absolutely. After you Doctor Reid." Spencer nodded nervously before walking towards the door, promising to himself that he was going to kill Morgan when the case ends.

•••

"Could you remind me what are we looking for?" Questioned Y/N as she looked over the files of the employees in the Dean's office.

"White male, late-30s to mid-40s, no complaints in his job, probably a janitor, PE coach, counselor or a teacher, something that gives him the opportunity to be close to the girls."

"You said that he probably did some work in one of the girls' houses, " Y/N pointed and Spencer nodded. "Don't know about you but I would be able to tell if my teacher is fixing my kitchen."

"It's very hard to predict when and how the unsub stepped out of his comfort zone. This kind of stalker is unlikely to have criminal records or even complaints against him. They are a ghost, dreaming about his mission for a long time. They are cautious, organized, intelligent. Probably new to the job. Look for people that started working at most two years ago."

The captain nodded. Both reached for the same file, making their hands touch one another. The doctor looked at her quickly before she softly looked at him. Both moved their hands, pretending as if nothing happened.

Y/N wasn't able to say when she felt Spencer's hand touching hers. It was like an electric current traveling her body.

"How do you remember all of this stuff?" Interrogated the captain and Spencer smiled.

"I have an eidetic memory, " he replied. "I remember a lot of stuff all the time." He glanced at her. Y/N was smiling. "Did you know that being married and in love makes you live longer? According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, married individuals were 58 percent less likely to die over an eight-year period compared to those who had never made it to the altar."

"That's something good to know, " Y/N said with a smile before looking at the records again. "Hey, I think we got our guy."

Y/N gave the curriculum to Spencer, who read it. Immediately, he called Garcia so she could look into the guy.

•••

Michael Wood had the four girls in the basement of his family house just as Reid said. Garcia was able to look into Michael’s life and turns out his month died about two weeks ago and left the family heritage to his sisters and not him, acting as his trigger.

"Detectives, " the captain called, "you were right. Next time, try to talk to me instead of acting on your own."

"So, are we suspended?"

"Yeah, you are. Two weeks. That would let you learn to not disrespect your superior again. But... you will still work at the precinct after your suspension." Both nodded. "Now, leave your gun and badge in my office. See you in two weeks with a new case. Dismissed."

The captain turned around to look at Spencer, who was nervously waiting next to his black SUV. When she saw him, she slowly walked towards him with a tiny smile threatening to appear in her face.

"Good case, captain, " he said to her. "We brought the girls back home and you earned more respect, it appears."

"It appears that way, " Y/N whispered. "You know the worst part of being a police captain?" He shook his head while she exhaled slowly. "I miss the field. Catching bad guys, rescuing people. I missed it."

"Well, you are great at it." Y/N chuckled.

"Being a captain has been my dream forever, but sometimes I tend to forget how good it is to be a detective, solve cases, and interrogate suspects. That's maybe why I was so pissed at Garrido and Smith. They have nerve, they follow their instincts. If they hadn't disobeyed my orders, God knows what would’ve happened to those girls. Being the youngest captain in the country has his downsides. I'm always focused on doing the right thing and following procedure that I tend to forget why we are doing this in the first place you know. I'm always focused on gaining my peers' respect than, I forget that the best way to do that, is to be good at my job."

Spencer nodded. He had some experience in trying hard to prove that you belong with the rest.

"You are excellent on your job, Y/N. You are where you belong and you just need to get in the field more often, remember why you do what you do and why you deserve what you have."

Y/N nodded before kissing softly his cheek. She turned around and started walking away. But before she entered the precinct, she turned around quickly, giving Spencer a simple smile.

"If you are ever in New York again, give me a call." And with that, she finished entering the building.

Morgan approached Spencer with a tiny smile as he saw him still looking at where the captain was just standing.

“Appears that the universe compensated you for that terrible date.”

“It appears that way, doesn't it?”

#fanfiction #writer #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #writing #y/n #pov #reid #reid x reader #reid x y/n #fanfic #imagine #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds imagine

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proudfreakmetarusonniku · 3 years

Text

anyway I need to go to bed but I have too much energy so I am channeling it into headcanons. here u go species headcanons for Everyone on the Dream smp with explanations because I’ve put a TON of thought into this. They’re probably like half contradicted by canon but fuck it My City Now.

Dream- A (juvenile) stage of being a god. He, DreamXD, and Drista have become known as “dreamons” but that’s technically a separate species, all spawned from them. He's not really focused on being worshipped in his own right, preferring power in the mortal realm, though he’s not averse to pretending to be his brother (the god worshipped by Church Prime) or his sister (a minor goddess of death worshipped by many hidden cults) if it can help him get power. He’s got pure white skin everywhere except his face (which is pale but human-like), black blood, entirely green eyes, pointed ears, fangs, claws, and digitigrade legs ending in hoof-like claws.

George- A human, the only human on the whole server. Humans are pretty rare, vastly outnumbered by hybrids but outnumbering any other species, and “pure” humans (what we'd consider to be a completely normal appearing human) are all but nonexistent. For example, George has eyes with dark sclera and white irises.

Sapnap- A blaze hybrid. He’s got a few rods surrounding him and his eyes blaze with fire. It’s usually just warm but not hot enough to hurt but if he's agitated or upset it can easily burn hot enough to set things ablaze.

Callahan- A reindeer hybrid. He’s got antlers, reindeer ears, fur around his arms, and hooves.

Awesamdude- A creeper hybrid. He's tauric, with four insect like legs. His skin and is green and mottled and has a texture similar to leaves. His eyes are pitch black. He has a tendency to make hissing sounds when stressed, though he can’t explode like a full blooded creeper.

Alyssa- A mouse hybrid, with large mouse ears and a long tail. This definitely isn’t an in joke for the thousands of hours I spent browsing TVTropes as a child and the “what happened to the mouse” tROPE SHUT UP.

Ponk- A demon hybrid, with pointed ears, slit pupils, a small spaded tail, and small horns.

BadBoyHalo- A full blooded demon, with pointed ears, a tall stature, pitch black skin and hair, fangs, claws, hooves, a long spaded tail, long horns, and small bat like wings. He’s rather self conscious about how intimidating he looks. He's also a lich (with Skeppy as his phylactery) which is why he has pure white eyes (a trait the undead share).

TommyInnit- An absolute mess, genetic wise, since I’m taking Tommy's joke about being born in a lab and running with it. He's mostly angel, and was basically cloned from Phil's DNA (from a feather that fell off his wings that somehow someone got a hold of) but had a bunch of other hybrid and human DNA mixed in to make him somewhat stable enough to actually survive gestation. He has very small, dark wings that are useful for balance and little else, fangs, claws, and pointed ears. His bones are very light, making him fragile but a lot more dexterous. His blood is slightly off a human's, being slightly pinkish. His freckles, wings, blood, and eyes glow slightly and are patterned like the night sky. Technically undead as of his resurrection, and maintains the many injuries of his death permanently (bruises stay and don’t heal but don’t worsen, broken limbs can be moved at unnatural angles, ect.), pale, corpse like skin, and one of his eyes turned pure white.

Tubbo- A ram hybrid, with small curved ram horns, horizontal pupils, ram ears, a tail, and hooves. Nice and simple after the absolute mess that was Tommy.

Fundy- A limited shapeshifter, able to change his species, though he prefers to be in a fox-like form. He inherited this from Sally, who had similar abilities, though with more strength. He's always got certain features he inherited from each parent that he can’t change though- wings, pale skin, and ice-like freckles from Wilbur, and salmon scales coating his wings and cheeks, and ginger-and-white hair from Sally.

Punz- A dragon hybrid, with dark horns, dark sclera and slit pupils, wings just large enough for limited flight, a strong tail, fangs, claws, and blue scales coating his cheeks, wings, tail, arms, and legs. Has a natural inclination to sleep in a pile of his wealth he only holds off on when he feels it’s at risk of being stolen (which, since this is the Dream SMP, is almost constantly).

Purpled- An enderman hybrid, with small horns, pointed ears, purple blood, and ender particles surrounding him. Parts of his arms and legs are covered in leathery, pure black skin.

Wilbur- Half angel, half fucking refrigerator because cc!Wilbur hates us (affectionate). His skin is unnaturally, icy pale, and his blood is an icy blue. His freckles are the colour of ice reflecting. He's got wings from his father, large enough to glide, but they’re pale coloured and slightly transparent. He has fangs claws, and pointy ears. His blood, wings, and eyes glow slightly and are patterned like the night sky. As Ghostbur, he’s got the injuries of his death apparent at all times, though they don’t hinder him or cause him pain, corpse like skin, pure white eyes, and is permanently transparent.

JSchlatt- A ram hybrid. He’s got large ram horns, dark sclera and horizontal pupils, a ram tail, fur around his arms, and hooves.

Skeppy- A construct made to be Bad's phylactery. He's fully made of diamond, and appears as a moving human statue (though entirely made out of diamond), though he has limited shape shifting ability to change his “hair” and “clothes”, though he has to remain the same mass. He has some small red detailing on him out of redstone (which was used partially in his contruction). The egg flipped the red and teal in his colour scheme. Also he's smalllllllllllll.

Eret- Part ghost, due to being descended from Herobrine. She has pure white eyes, pointy ears, and under stress he becomes partially transparent. They tend to hide their nonhuman features (ears under hair or hats and eyes under sunglassses) and are often mistaken for human.

Jack Manifold- Started as a wolf hybrid, with large wolf ears and a tail. After dying, he came back from hell as a hellhound with red and blue “flames” coming from his eyes, ears, and replacing his missing tail he lost in one of his deaths with two made of this fire. The fire is chillingly cold to the touch, and not warm. His eyes are also monocolour, though in heterochromatic red and blue instead of the usual pure white found in undead.

Niki- A moth hybrid, with antennae, monocolour amber eyes, fluffy wings, and more fluff around her neck, wrists, and torso. These and her hair are patterned gold and black, though as of now she’s dyed them all pink. Idk I just feel like moths fit her for some reason.

Quackity- A duck hybrid, with golden wings and webbed hands and feet. He’s also a shapeshifter of sorts, however instead of shifting into different forms he shifts into different beings, from alternate realities that never came to be. These can be used to shift into near identical copies of those around him, to impersonate them, or to shift into alternate versions of people (like Mexican Dream to Dream). These aren’t Quackity, though, and as such they have their own pool of canon lives, and while he has lots of influence over them they can still act autonomously.

Karl Jacobs- An inter dimensional being made of time itself. While his current form is mostly human, he has technicolour rainbow blood, freckles, and patches on his skin, along with clock-shaped pupils that change with the time. His “natural” form is a vaguely humanoid mess of ever shifting colour.

HBomb- I didn’t know what to do with him at first- he was a cow hybrid in my pfp set- but I just think the idea of him being a chill cat hybrid who turns full nyaa whenever he’s in a maid dress to be funny so he’s a cat hybrid now. With dyed-white cat ears and a dyed-white cat tail.

Technoblade- A piglin hybrid primarily, but he’s definitely got some weird traces of other species. He’s got tusks, pink hair, pink pig ears, a pig tail, and hooves, but he’s also got paws from some other animal hybridisation in his blood, and has a tallness that suggests demon blood somewhere down the line. His red eyes aren’t natural, and only occurred after he was sacrificed to be the vessel of the Blood God.

Antfrost- A cat hybrid, with blond and brown fur, a cat tail, paws both on his hands and feet, and cat ears. He’s also got split pupils and blue sclerae (though a different shade to his irises).

Philza- An angel- the creation of a god or goddess to help serve them (Dreamon's would be an example of the angels the Dream's can create, though they’re primarily running wild nowadays.) The creation and servant of one of the gods of death, Kristen, to serve her in the mortal realm. He’s got very large feathered dark wings, pupilless unnaturally bright eyes, pointy ears, fangs, claws, and dark blood the colour of the night sky. His wings, eyes, freckles and blood glow brightly and are patterned like the night sky. Injuries reveal that he's fully inhuman under his skin, appearing to be a void of colour that also glows and is patterned like the night sky. His crows, who are messengers from the afterlife, have this same pattern on their feathers.

Conner- I don’t know much about him tbh but. He’s just a hedgehog hybrid. I mean he’s joked enough about canonically being the kid of Sonic and Elise. He’s got blue hedgehog ears and a tail, and blue spines mixed in with his dark hair.

Captain Puffy- A sheep hybrid, with small curled sheep horns, sheep ears, a fluffy sheep tail, hooves, and hair curly and soft like wool. The split in her hair between brown and white is natural, though she keeps a small section dyed rainbow.

Vikkstar- Another angel, though of a god long gone. His entire body, even his “clothes” (which are made of flesh) glow intensely bright and have the pattern of the night sky.

LazarBeam- A gingerbread hybrid, which I’d say is dumb but we’ve already had a refrigerator hybrid so. I don’t know what else to say here.

Ranboo- Half enderman, half god of some sort. Has small horns, pointy ears, an inhumanly wide mouth with fangs, claws, digitigrade feet ending in hoof-like claws, pure black and white skin, pure black and white hair and freckles on the opposite side of the skin, red and green heterochromatic eyes barely distinguishable from their sclera, and red and green blood. Hmm, I wonder what other character shares similar descriptions... :)

FoolishG- A more matured god than Dream. Appears to be made entirely out of gold, with his hair and freckles appearing like copper. His pure green eyes have a similar texture to emeralds. Also he’s like. Massive. He’s like eleven Skeppy's.

Hannah- A nymph of the forests. Has prehensile vines and flowers flowing in her hair all the way to the ground, and half of her face and one of her arms are entirely made of these prehensile vines and flowers. Makes flowers grow in her step, after being corrupted by the egg they wither around her instead.

Charlie- Slime hybrid. Honestly just kind of got the most impractical parts of being a hybrid, having random sections of skin changed into green slime which drips everywhere and kind of gets in the way. It doesn’t seem to bother him though.

#my headcanons #making that a tab cause this was fun to write #dream smp #dsmp #dream smp headcanons #dsmp headcanons #dsmp species #dream smp species #the whole dsmp cast #literally all of them #excluding npcs #but including Mexican dream and Drista technically!#under a read more because LONG #i wasn’t joking when I said I did everyone

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ironhusband · 4 years

Text

Five times Rhodey cried

Rhodey doesn’t cry much. Nearly never, in fact. It’s not like he’s emotionally stunned or anything like that, he just doesn’t show happiness or sadness or anger through crying. It’s not like he doesn’t feel or shows all those emotions. It’s just that he’s an Air-Force man, and he’s been building towards that his entire life. He’s professional and obedient, and he’s seen and been through worse. He couldn’t cry when he’s on tour, so why cry when Bambi dies? His family and Tony tell him he’s weird, but his fellow soldiers get it.

When he does cry, it’s only during big, life changing moments, when he knows his life will never be the same and he’s glad for it or mournful for it or both.

~~~

The first time Rhodey cried (”that he remembers,” Jeanette likes to tease him) was when he got his ROTC acceptance letter. His mama was the one to bring it to him, grinning from ear to ear while she handed him the letter.

When Rhodey touched the envelope, he was nervous. “It’s a small envelope,” he hesitated.

“So?” Jeanette encouraged him, “you’re the top of your class. The Air-Force will be stupid to reject you.”

“Maybe they just went for someone else,” Rhodey tried to excuse, “probably a lot of people applied and MIT is hard to get into, so-”

Jeanette grabbed the envelope right from his fingers, and Rhodey scrambled to get it back, “Jean, give it back!”

“You’re being ridiculous! You’re mourning something before you even know the answer! If you stopped struggling, and let me open the letter, you could mourn for real!”

“Kids,” their dad said, exasperated, “Jeanette, give Rhodey his letter back.”

Jeanette sighed, “only if he opens it.”

“I’m going to open it,” he tugged at the letter.

Jeanette handed it back. Rhodey sat down, grabbed the letter opener, and prayed under his breath-

“I got in,” he muttered, shocked, though suddenly he didn’t understand why, and then he was crying, “I got in!”

His family whooped and cheered and gave him a group hug and Rhodey could only laugh and cry, happy that the thing he’d been building towards his entire life was going to happen.

~~~

If you asked the public which of them cried during their first time, they’d probably say neither. Tony’s friends would probably not hesitate before knowingly saying “Tony.” Rhodey’s family and Jarvis will say “both” being painfully aware of the pining on both ends, and Rhodey’s army buddies will playfully rib him about crying during sex, but only Rhodey and Tony know the answer is just Rhodey, and Tony will never let him live it down.

In Rhodey’s defence, it’s before the sex, not during, and he tired was of the repression DADT forced him into and he it wasn’t his fault that his family and Tony’s affectionate touches made him unprepared for no one even hugging him for a month, and he became a little tocuhstarved when he got his first leave.

His first stop after he got his leave was Tony, because he was closer, and because Rhodey knew his family could likely survive without him for a few more days, but Tony was probably already dead.

It was more quiet than he expected it to be. The Air-Force changed Rhodey, and they both knew it. It took awhile before they found a topic which didn’t land them in awkward silence. They talked about Tony’s inventions, Tony’s trips across the globe, Rhodey’s new friends, the letters he got from Tony and his family. It was nice when he could see how excited Tony became as he rambled and it was nice that Tony laughed at the same jokes Rhodey’s friends made Rhodey laugh at. But it wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t carefree, and there was this tension between them, until Rhodey let it slip, “I missed you.”

Tony seemed surprised by this, hadn’t expected the admission. They both were more men of actions rather than words. But then Tony’s gaze turned soft, and he was getting closer to Rhodey. Rhodey noticed how Tony grew a few inches while Rhodey was gone, and it makes him sad that he didn’t get to see it. Tony got closer, and Rhodey was suddenly thinking of something else because Tony was really really close, and Rhodey truly did miss him.

“I missed you too,” Tony admitted, fingers softly touching Rhodey’s chin just a bit to angle him up, just a bit to drive Rhodey insane, just a bit so that their lips touched.

Kissing Tony differs from any other kiss Rhodey had. It’s slow and gentle, but still somehow... all consuming. Life changing. Purely amazing. Maybe Rhodey would look back at the kiss one day and realize that technique-wise, it was terrible, but in that moment, kissing Tony was everything.

He’d been pining for Tony ever since he first told him he was brilliant, and after enlisting, he found out that the saying about absence making the heart grow fonder was true, because he’d spent most of his time missing Tony. It felt so overwhelming, Tony’s fingers grazing his nape, his breath against Rhodey’s lips, Tony’s hip bone biting into his hip. It’s everything he missed, and everything he wanted, and it was so overwhelming, but so good.

When Tony pulled back, Rhodey was breathless and had tears in his eyes, and it wasn’t because the kiss was breathtaking or tear-bringing. Tony was.

Tony ruined the moment, of course.

“Aw, honeybear, are you crying?” Tony teased, “didn’t know I had that effect on you.”

Tony was still chuckling when Rhodey shoved him down, when Rhodey muttered, “yeah, yeah,” and kissed Tony again.

~~~

If Rhodey made a list of all the things most important to him, his family, his job and Tony would tie for first place. Well, sometimes depending on the week, if Rhodey was frustrated at Tony or DADT, those last two would be knocked down a few grades, but his family was always first place, no matter how annoying his baby sister was sometimes.

So of course he cried when he got a new addition to his family.

He was pacing in the waiting room, concerned and nervous, but mostly excited. He was happy, and he couldn’t sit still for it, no matter how many times Tony pulled him down to sit next to him.

When Lila’s wife finally called for him, he basically ran to the delivery room.

He found Jeanette there, seeming exhausted, but happy with the new-born baby girl in her arms. When she noticed him, she grinned, mentioning for Rhodey to come closer. “Jim, meet Lila,” she said, tilting the baby so Rhodey could look at her beautiful face.

“Can I...?” he asked and Jeanette nodded, handing Lila over to Rhodey carefully.

The weight in his arms and the way the baby’s face was squished against his face, felt right, felt nice. He already knew this would be one of his favorite things to do whenever he would babysit for his sister. “Hey, baby girl. I’m your uncle. I’m going to spoil you rotten.” Lila yawned and grabbed his finger, and suddenly tears overwhelmed his eyes, and he felt a sob coming.

“She’s a fast learner,” Tony pointed out (since when was he beside him?), and then he looked at Rhodey’s face, smiling fondly when he told Jeanette, “Rhodey’s about to cry his eyes out.”

Jeanette laughed, “oh my god.”

Then the dam broke, and suddenly Rhodey was weeping, sobs making his entire body shake.

“Maybe I should take Lila away,” Tony suggested, and Rhodey could only tearfully nod. To Jeanette’s surprise, once Lila’s was in Tony’s arms, Rhodey, instead of running out of the room to cry in private, hugged her tightly, whispering, “I’m gonna be the best babysitter, you’ll see, me and Tony, anytime you ask, I love Lila so much already, Jean, she’s gonna be such a smart, beautiful, amazing girl. I love her. I love you.”

Jeanette didn’t question it, only hugged him back, and whispered back, “love you too, big brother.”

~~~

Rhodey didn’t cry during the three months Tony was gone. Tony wasn’t dead, so there was no reason to, right? Right. He’d get him back home and everything’d be okay again. No reason to cry. He wasn’t going to cry. There were a lot of times he really wanted to cry.

It was only when Rhodey got Tony back home safely and Tony showed him the arc-reactor that suddenly Rhodey felt it all. Something about the scars around Tony’s chest, and the thought of an engineering marvel inside Tony’s chest, the idea that something so scary, so untrustworthy was keeping his love alive... Rhodey just felt it all. The exhaustion from looking for Tony, the weight of the rumors that could end his career, the frustration at the endless sea of lifeless sand, and that-

“I could have lost you,” he said, surprising both of them, and then he gathered Tony in his arms and let out a tiny sob, “I was so close to losing you.”

Tony hugged back, “shh, Rhodey, it’s okay. You didn’t lose me. I’m right here.”

“I almost lost you,” Rhodey said again, “I nearly believed I lost you. I could have lost you.” Rhodey sounded like a broken record at that point, but he didn’t care.

“Shhh, everything’s okay. You didn’t lose me. I’m right here. And from now on, we’re only riding together. You’ll never lose me again. Right?”

Rhodey only weakly nodded against Tony’s shoulder, trying not to think of Tony’s corpse on a operating table after a surgery gone wrong, but focusing on him being alive, and with him, right now.

~~~

It’s not something Rhodey advertises, but before Rhodey settled on the more realistic career of being in the Air-Force, Rhodey wanted to be a superhero. He admired Batman and Superman and Captain America and told his parents that when he was big he’d be rich like Batman and have a flying suit that had super strength like Superman and Captain America’s superpowers. The only evidence of that dream was in the Rhodes family picture album and Tony’s screen saver of him in a Captain America costume (no matter how much Rhodey begged Tony to change it).

So, it wasn’t an exaggeration to say that War Machine was a dream come true.

It first happened several weeks after Tony healed from Palladium poisoning. Rhodey took a break from his job and War Machine to just be with Tony, hold him a little too tight to remind him that Tony almost died but he isn’t gone, and make up for their fight. Then duty called, and Rhodey didn’t hesitate when he got in the War Machine armor.

“You look so good in it,” Tony sighed and leaned up to give him a kiss, “proud of you, honey. Go kick some ass.”

Rhodey smiled and almost shrieked in delight when he was flying again, almost having forgotten how good it felt (granted, the last time wasn’t so great, but now he had free will so it was better than ever).

When he got back, Tony was already dragging him to the living room, excitedly talking about the news, and how it was nice to keep track of Rhodey and then Rhodeyy saw the headline of the news. “Superhero War Machine resurfaces” it read.

“You’re famous now,” Tony teased, but then he took a double take at Rhodey’s face and asked, concerned, “Rhodeybear, are you alright? Does this trigger the fight for you, or something?”

Rhodey, mostly not hearing him, could only say, “I’m a superhero.”

Tony smiled, “course you are, babe. I was only joking about the sidekick thing.”

Rhodey’s grin grew, “I’m a superhero!”

“Yeah, I kno-” but then Rhodey was throwing Tony in the air and laughing happily and Tony was too stunned to finish his quip.

“I’m a superhero!” he felt like shouting that from rooftops.

“Hon, I thought you knew,” Tony shook his head, still winded even after Rhodey put him down, “why is this such a big deal?”

“It’s a huge deal, Tony!” he said, cupping Tony’s face, his eyes brimming with tears ready to be shed, blurry vision on his husband, “I’ve got everything I ever wanted.”

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darkdevasofdestruction · 3 years

Text

My Clarity ~ Shikamaru x Kitsune

A little fic in which Shikamaru isn’t the only kid who gets advice from his dad through Shogi.

Honestly tho, I’m in my exam session, 9 exams, thankfully, only 2 more to go next week, and I have a burning urge to re-watch all of Naruto for some reason, and my love for this beautiful Deer boy resurfaced very VERY powerfully.

Oops.

Little fox, little fox, what are you hiding behind that sly, cheerful smile of yours?

Little fox, little fox, why are you all alone?

Little fox, little fox, what's going on through your mind?

Little fox, little fox...Do you wanna play?

---

Shikamaru always knew there was something off with the red haired girl in his class -

She just seemed too perfect.

She was beautiful, she was smart, she was talented, she was kind, she was helpful, she was selfless..

And his parents were best friends with her parents, so they would often meet up for play dates and whatever.

No matter how much he tried to avoid her like the plague, she didn’t give up, and whenever he asked her why the hell she wanted to hang out with him so bad, she’d just say

“Because I like you, little fawn.”

That stupid nickname, that soon turned into “Deer boy” irked him big time...But in a way...

He was the only one to whom she gave nicknames, so he felt kinda special.

Actually, he was the only one with whom she actually seemed completely genuine...So maybe he should actually enjoy it?

Yeah, why not, right?

She’s not so bad, after all, and if he gets to learn something form her, all the better!

----

“Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ the obsessive mutterings went on and on like grating. She was trembling, not even realizing her cheeks were soaked, not from the rain, but from the tears her beautiful green eyes that now resembled a rainforest, were producing.

What was going on? This can’t be happening…This was supposed to be a simple mission with her dad and her dad’s best friend…It was just a B mission at most…How could things escalate this much?

Being a ninja, she knew things are dangerous and would put you in impossible situations…That you can even lose your life or your friends and comrades…But…

Why now…? Why so soon…?

She’s barely 10 years old…She wanted to go on this mission to see how beautiful the world outside the Country of Fire is…But this…?

“Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ she continued rambling, standing there, on her knees, on the wet grass, all muddy, all bloody, not having moved from there for at least a whole hour, so much that she almost thought she started growing roots into the ground.

“Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ she went on and on and on with no stopping, with no equivalent of time and space, of self, of body, of identity. She was lost. She was not only broken, but completely shattered. She was blank.

“Kitsune, that’s enough. Snap out of it. He’s dead. We have to get out of here before the enemies find us. We’ve been here enough.” the man who was her dad’s best friend went on his knees in front of her and grasped her wrists, pulling her hands away from her eye sight so she will stop looking at her father’s blood. “He’s not…He’s not…He can’t be…He can’t…He won’t…He wouldn’t…Leave me…No…He’s just…R-Resting…Don’t mess around with me…” instead of focusing on her hands that were painted with clotted blood, her eyes were now in the vision of the body laying in a pool of its own blood, its chest being cut to access the heart. “I know it’s impossible to accept this, but your parents wouldn’t want you to die here because you froze up. Let’s go home. We’ll get his body in a scroll and I’ll arrange for a funeral.” the man tried to reason with the child, who, in turn, moved for the first time since the incident. “HE’S NOT FUCKING DEAD! STOP LYING TO ME, SHIKAKU, HE’S NOT DEAD!!! HE CAN’T BE DEAD! HE’S NOT! I HEALED HIM! I RESTARTED HIS HEART! HE’S NOT DEAD! I DIDN’T LET HIM DIE! HE’S TOO STRONG TO DIE! HE WOULDN’T LEAVE ME AND MUM! I’M TELLING YOU, HE’LL GET UP ANY MINUTE NOW! I DID EVERYTHING BY THE BOOK! JUST AS THE MEDICAL NINS TAUGHT ME! I DID NO MISTAKE! I DID NOTHING WRONG! I’M SURE!” the red haired girl lashed out at the man, shrieking so loud that her throat felt raw, almost bleeding, her emotions pouring down harder than the rain as she shook hit the man’s chest and shoulder, but he could only look at her with pity in his dark eyes, almost imagining his own son, should that have been him on the ground. “It’s not your fault, Kitsune. You did everything you could, but sometimes, there is nothing anyone can do. Some injuries are so severe that they can’t be healed, even if you are the most skilled healer. It wasn’t your fault, it was the enemies’ fault. I promise you.” the Nara put the ANBU captain’s corpse in a scroll and picked the girl up, running back to the village and reporting to the Hokage.

The girl was lost, had no idea what to say, what to do, what to feel – Not when Shikaku was explaining what happened to the Hokage, not when he broke the news to her mum, hell, not even when she was staring at a beautiful picture of the three of them together, at his funeral.

No children were allowed at the funeral, as per her request – She didn’t want any pity, and she wanted to give no explanations.

She wanted nobody involved. Things were bad enough as they were.

So the only people from the school who knew were the teachers.

Not Shikamaru, not Hinata, not Sasuke, not Shino…

Nobody.

Definitely nobody.

Her dad wasn’t dead, after all.

She didn’t kill him.

She did everything she was taught to do.

She did the cardiac massage, she was sure she felt his heart pumping again, she definitely saw him breathing…

…Right?

She did, didn’t she?

She didn’t imagine it, right?

She didn’t try to get his heart to pump again when he was already irreversibly dead…

…Right?

----

The little red haired girl smiled dazzlingly at the children in her class, who were also her friends. She knew she was the most popular girl in the whole Academy, but she didn't let it bother her, or change the way she behaved with everyone - Everyone was equal in her eyes, even if they were obnoxious or annoying - And in turn, she got invited to everyone's birthday parties or hang outs, and so on.

But most of the time, she couldn't go to those hang outs because she was constantly training with her parents to become an excellent ninja, and in the future, a member of the ANBU - It wasn't only her dream, but her parents jobs too.

ANBU captains

What greater honour could there be?

While other 10 year olds were playing around, she was hanging around adults, learning how to perfect her fighting styles, ninjutsu and genjutsu, but not only -

She wanted to learn medical ninjutsu, she wanted to help people, to save them, for all the times she heard all those scary stories from her parents and their friends...How they lost people, comrades, partners, friends...Because in the Great War, there was barely any medical ninja around to save them...

She couldn't allow that to happen - Not on her watch.

"Okay, class. Today, we are going to do a team activity, and we need 2 captains. Who wants that position?" Iruka-sensei asked his class, and, as expected, most of the kids nominated Kitsune, while Sasuke, Naruto and Kiba wanted to be captains themselves, and Sakura and Ino nomitated the Uchiha. This class' dynamic was always the same, and in a way, this exhausting routine was sort of comforting for the red haired fox-like girl. "Kitsune, Sasuke, step forward. As Kitsune was nominated by the most of you, she will choose first."

"I choose Shika!" in front of the class, the girl with sparkling green eyes grinned enthusiastically as she extended her arms in front of her, as a way of cordially inviting the friend she cherished the most, despite all the gasps of shock she received.

"Sh-Shikamaru? Kitsune, why not choose me first?! I'm so much stronger than that guy who just sleeps all day and is too lazy to move!" Naruto yelled at her, but she merely sweat dropped and chuckled awkwardly.

"But Shikamaru is the smartest in this class and I believe we get along very well. When forming a team, you don't have to always get the ones who are more energetic or physically stronger, but the best strategists and those with whom you can create a perfect synergy and your abilities and skills compliment each other. Having Shika on my team means that we're definitely going to win against Sasuke's team!" the girl shrugged casually, ending her explanation with a sly, incredibly fox-like smirk - One that screamed 'Victory'.

"Uh...Thanks for picking me, I guess." Shikamaru awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, before muttering his usual catch phrase "What a drag..."

Sasuke glared at the girl, despite knowing very well there was barely anyone with any kind of potential in this class, but he got around to choosing Kiba. Then, Kitsune chose Shino, while Sasuke got Choji. Kitsune got Hinata and Sasuke could barely stop himself from facepalming, but chose Sakura. Grinning at the brunet captain, Kitsune chose Ino, so Naruto was stuck with Sasuke - It was the perfect plan.

The two groups went out in the forest, in the opposite parts, and had 15 minutes to come up with a plan to steal the Captain's bandana.

"First of all, I'd like to apologise to Shika for not being able to get Choji as well. I know that the Ino-Shika-Cho formation is incredibly powerful, and that the three of you would have had an amazing synergy, but there's that. However, I'm happy that we have Shino with us, I'm sure the insects are going to scare off both Sakura and Naruto...Which reminds me, Naruto an Sasuke are going to work against each other most of the time. With Shikamaru and I as the strategist, Hinata’s Byakugan and the maturity and knowledge of Shino and Ino, we are going to make the perfect team. Besides…Ino, if you show off how strong you are, and you beat Sakura in the process, I’m sure you’re going to impress Sasuke!” Kitsune clapped her hands together, charming all of her team mates, as per usual. “Oh, but Sakura doesn’t stand a chance! She will swoon over Sasuke-kun all the time and will be completely useless! That Naruto will screw everything up for Sasuke-kun and will be loud enough to give away their position, and I’m sure he’ll argue with everyone, especially Kiba. And Choji eats all the time, I doubt he’ll do much, especially if he sees how everyone argues among themselves and does nothing good. He’s a pacifist, y’know.” Ino grinned condescendingly as she berated almost everyone in the enemy team. “Very well, then I will tell you my plan, and when I’m done, I’d like you to tell me your insight and how to perfect it, if you have any ideas. The main idea is to distract Sasuke while Shika uses his shadow to immobilize Sasuke, so I can steal away the bandana. Ino, you have to stay away from Sakura, so you won’t bicker. I need your Mind Transfer jutsu. Hinata, your Byakugan will be detrimental in finding out everyone’s location, and I have faith in your fighting abilities. Shino, of course, apart from the fact that I’m sure your insects are going to scare away some of those guys, you are a very strong fighter and very intelligent as well.” Kitsune explained simply, and everyone seemed to nod in agreement. “Actually, I think Ino, Hinata and Shino should stay together, at least in the beginning. Ino can incapacitate one person for a short amount of time, so if she stops Sasuke, I can catch him in my shadows, and you can steal away the bandana, while Shino and Hinata fight the others. Those two are sensory types, so they can find out everyone’s positions and the bugs can guide us to them.” Shika pointed out, which made the red haired girl widen her eyes at him in shock for a few seconds, only to grin widely and almost literally glow in happiness. “You’re the best, Shika! It’s always so great hanging out with you! Come on, 15 minutes passed, let’s go and win this!” she cheered to hype the others up, and it worked well enough, and it seemed to give them a little boost of confidence.

And so, they went to the middle of the forest while Hinata and Shino searched for the enemies – Who they easily found – And Kitsune and Shikamaru split up around Sasuke in a pincer formation. Just as planned, Naruto easily gave away his position, so Shino and Hinata went to fight or scare away Sakura and the others who went down faster than expected, considering they were all split up, not in groups.

When Sasuke was the last one standing, Ino used her Mind Transfer jutsu on him, Sasuke immobilized him and the fox girl stole away the bandana.

However, just as they were making their escape, Sasuke got out of his immobilized state and went to attack the group – The fox girl gave shadow boy the token of victory and told him to take the team away and make their escape, while she quickly beat the Uchiha and went back to them, only to see the Nara didn’t actually go with the others, but returned to make sure she was okay.

“Very well played, everyone. Now, the 2 captains, shake hands, and you can all go home for today.” Their teacher smiled at them, while also pointing out the obvious problems in the other team. “Hey, about about we go to the BBQ place to celebrate our win?” Ino asked, smiling triumphantly. “We can invite Sasuke too, since he tried his best, but he didn’t have a team.” Was her plan, and everyone seemed to agree – Of course, the other team wanted to join as well, so there was that, but…

“Oh, uh-uhm…S-Sorry, but I can’t come. I, uh…My parents and I are pretty busy today, haha. But I hope you have fun for me as well! Take care, guys, see ya tomorrow!” Kitsune chuckled awkwardly, rushing to go home and train with her parents.

However, she didn’t come to school the next day. Or the one after…Or the whole week, for the matter.

She was absent for almost 2 whole weeks, for the matter.

Until she wasn’t anymore.

But when she returned, she was as radiant as always.

For those who weren’t as observant as Shikamaru, that is…

What was he supposed to do, anyway? Go and confront her? No way, that would be a drag…And besides, if she wanted to talk, she’d come to him…Or someone, right?

The biggest shock of his life was, however, to come home one day from school and finding a certain red haired girl playing Shogi with his own father, and they seemed to be very comfortable with each other? And they were smiling?

“Hey, Shika! Welcome home! Oh, you got here just in time, I and your mum managed to finish cooking earlier! Go and eat something, you don’t want the food to get cold, right?” Kitsune waved at him, smiling sweetly, but the boy could only stare at both of them, incredibly confused, his eyebrows raised so far up that they almost got into his hairline. “Wh-What are you doing here? Dad, what’s going on? Why are you playing Shogi with Kitsune?” the poor boy asked, his head almost snapping from going back and forth. “Oh, w-well…I was pleasantly impressed with your intelligence and strategy, so I came here to praise you to your dad! Also, my mum said she always enjoyed learning and playing Shogi with him, so I thought I’d give it a shot too! You should have heard her, honestly, Shikaku beat me again at Shogi, you should have seen the new stunt he pulled today! It was completely revolutionary, we could totally use it in our next mission!” Kitsune laughed lightly, trying to calm the boy down a bit. “You have to be careful, son, she might just win against you if you slack off too much.” Shikaku teased his son, who could only groan and leave to eat. “Tsk…What a drag…Troublesome woman…” the boy muttered, leaving the place that got immediately much darker. “You can stay for dinner, Kitsune. We can call your mother as well, if you want. I doubt she’d have been up to cooking anything after what happened.” the Nara sighed deeply, crossing his arms and looking attentively at the frail girl in front of him, who may as well be close to shattering. “N-No…I-I…I couldn’t…Do this to her…I’m afraid…Something’s coming…Something incredibly bad…If I’m not there, who knows what will happen…Uhm…Thanks for today, Shikaku. I appreciate it. And he would have as well. See you tomorrow.” She got up and left the place in a hurry, going back home.

However, as soon as she opened the door, she called out to tell her mother…Who didn’t answer. Worried, the red haired girl went to the kitchen, hoping to do some cooking for her mother, who may have been still resting in her room…

But the sight in front of her shook her to the core, for the rest of her life… And since then, the last thing Shikamaru saw of her was her fox necklace that she left over to Shikaku the next day she went for a Shogi play.

He hated to admit it, but this woman…This woman, he actually missed, but no matter how much he pestered his father for an answer, he would only say “Soon”.

What was such an enigmatic and vague answer supposed to do to reassure and inform him in any way that he will meet her ever again?

He never even had the time to play Shogi with her, or chat properly, hang out by the field to watch the clouds go by…And graduate together, maybe even get put in the same team…

He couldn’t believe this was really happening, and for a while, he actually hated the girl for just leaving like that, without even saying goodbye to him.

Oh, if only the poor boy knew the truth…

----

Years passed, Shikamaru was already the first Chunin from his class, they already went in enough missions as teams, and were old enough to see the world in new eyes…Yet nothing could compare to what their parents saw in the Great War, so they were still green ninjas, unaware of the true horrors of this world.

He was already 16…He couldn’t believe 6 years passed since he last saw that little firecracker named after a cute fox that he used to call “friend” in his Academy days. Every year, when the day of her departure came by, he’d take the day off and go to the spot they would both spend time, watching the clouds – And for some reason, he would always see a fox shaped cloud.

It was such a drag.

However, on the 6th year, his father stopped him from going to the field, instead, asking to play Shogi, something that confused the boy greatly, but he decided he should listen to what his father had to say.

But never, in his life, would he have expected that his father finally saw him as old enough to tell him what happened to that mysterious girl who disappeared so suddenly.

He told Shikamaru everything that happened on that mission gone wrong – The Kirigakure ninjas attacking them, Kitsune’s father saving her and dying in the process, and the little girl snapping, going on a rampage, and when returning to her father’s side, she tried to revive him for so long, that he thought he wasn’t going to be able to pry her away from his body. The shock that completely stunned her, seeing herself in the reflection of the cold water, trying to scrub away the blood from her hands – Blood that wasn’t there anymore, but she kept seeing it – She tried and tried and tried to wash it off – To even claw it off – aggressively scrubbing away with her nails, leaving trails all over her arms.

And that day, when Shikamaru caught them playing Shogi – When she got home, she saw her mother hanging in the kitchen – She couldn’t take it anymore. Her mother loved her husband so much, that she couldn’t handle being without him anymore, nor could she handle staying in the same house with the daughter who looked so much like him.

Her mother committed suicide.

It was a clear sign to Kitsune that she should get the hell out of Konoha, before she would lose herself completely.

But even then, she held Shikamaru in her heart, which is why she asked Shikaku to give him her necklace before she left.

She had no idea where she wanted to go, but she had to.

And that day, when she played Shogi, the strategies she took, influenced by Shikaku’s aggressiveness in the game, made the both of them realize that the deer boy was too precious to her to sacrifice, as a mere Shogi piece.

So she left to get better and protect the last person she loved who was still alive.

And Shikamaru felt guilty for resenting her for 6 years.

---

“I wonder who’s our other team mate. Lady Tsunade didn’t say much about this person.” Ino asked, dangling her feet, bored, staying on a tree branch. “I heard it’s a girl!” Choji munched on his crisps, not really caring much. “Dad said it’s some ANBU captain or something. What a drag, that means this mission’s going to be more difficult than before…” Shikamaru groaned, slouching down. “As usual, you come up with the best strategies. It’s weirdly nice working with you again, and –“ the angelic voice of a woman was heard by the trio, who immediately perked up in curiosity, as in their field of vision, Shikamaru’s father walked by, wearing a relaxed and joking smile on his face, side by side with a much shorter individual, with long hair, kissed by fire, dressed in the usual ANBU outfit, with a fox mask covering her face, and a few weapons strapped to her back. “Is…Is this our team mate?” Ino gasped at the beauty in front of her. “I sure hope so.” Choji chuckled, nudging Shikamaru, but the boy could only stare at her, frowning, unable to utter any word. “Here’s your team, Kitsune. I’m sure you missed being around your friends –“ but Shikaku couldn’t finish his sentence, for as soon as the girl saw the brunet boy, she got rooted to the spot for a few seconds, before squealing and throwing herself in his arms, hugging him as tight as possible. “Shika!!!” she cried out, twirling around with him, not wanting to let him go. “I missed you so much, Shika~!” “K-Kitsune…? Is that really you…?” poor Shikamaru couldn’t even hug the girl back because of the extreme shock he was in, but his father’s chuckle snapped him back to reality. “Yes, silly, it’s me! I’m back.” The girl quickly took off her mask, putting it to her waist belt, flashing the same dazzling white smile of hers – The same one that completely stole his heart many years ago. “Remember me?” “Y-Yeah, ‘course I do, uhmm…” he tried to stumble over his words, despite the blush creeping on his face. “My…! You grew up so much! And you’re absolutely gorgeous! …Eh…~? Look at you, you’re so cute with red cheeks! And you’re even wearing my necklace! I’m so happy, Shika…! Your parents must be so proud to have the smartest and prettiest child in the whole Country of Fire, right Shikaku~?” the red haired girl giggled teasingly, making the poor deer boy so flustered that he had to fry her off and look away, while his friends and dad were laughing at him. “What a troublesome woman…! Tsk…Stop being so familiar with me, you’re annoying.” Shika tried to fend off, but the girl feigned that annoying puppy dog eyes that she always did when she was little and she wanted to spend time with him. “Th-Then…You didn’t miss me, Shika? At all? Not even a tiny bit?” she asked in the most pitiful voice, pouting and getting closer to his face, which in turn, killed him instantly. “…Fine, yeah, maybe, whatever. Let’s go on our mission.” The poor boy grumbled, walking ahead of everyone, not even bothering to say goodbye to his dad, as his friends were already teasing him and laughing. “He’s so cute~!” the girl grinned, carefree, following his lead.

The road to the mission’s point was filled with light chatting and some catching up, but for Shikamaru, the situation was different – Every word she uttered, he analysed and scanned, as if looking for any string of white lie that sewed together a perfectly made up story.

She wanted to learn a more diverse range of skills so she went to learn from other Ninja villages and random renowned rouge ninjas and samurais…

And, allegedly, 2 years prior, she returned and joined the ANBU, and chose only the longest missions that led farthest away from the Country of Fire.

How dubious…

“Shh, stop, here we are.” Kitsune stopped abruptly, crouching down on the branch carefully, squinting and watching like a hawk every one of the grouped up ninjas, almost as if she was peering at them under a microscope – Every micronic detail, she sketched in her mind and carefully created a plan to take them down, before snapping her fingers once to draw her team’s attention towards her. “See that guy with blue hair, tied up, and black eyes? That’s our guy. We capture him, and kill everyone else. Easy enough?” despite muttering in a low voice, her piercing gaze didn’t move for not even a single pico-second. “But…Kitsune…? I don’t mean to sound doubting…But there must be at least 50 ninjas out there, and they seem to be at least Chuunin level. And weren’t Kirigakure ninjas supposed to be bloodthirsty and to be using poison?” Ino asked, obviously very worried. “They aren’t Kirigakure ninjas, but yeah, you are right about those guys. These ones are in disguise, but not great ones, I’d have to say. See that guy with orange hair? His sleeve is raised up, and a brown tattoo can be seen, which indicates they are from Iwa. Very annoying and strong. Those stupid guys have an Iwakage who can eradicate everything in sight with that stupid particle-something jutsu of his…And they have an explosion department…Thank God I didn’t remain in Konoha…” Kitsune muttered, the corner of her mouth raising into a triumphant smirk that meant she was going to create a blood bath. “Explosions?! How can we protect ourselves against that?” Choji was almost comically trembling, eating crisps even more rapidly than before. “Unfortunately for you, neither has a Lightning chakra nature, so we can’t actively deactivate them…However…I trained with the best puppet master in the world, who so happens to have as a partner the most fanatic, yet talented bomb artist, so I know how to go against these guys. Shika, Ino, I want you to make sure you get the leader away from the group. Since you can get in his body, just say you need to pee or something, and that you’ll be back, which is when Shikamaru will use his shadows to get him towards us, and then three of you will protect him, while I kill this lot, got it?” she asked, finally snapping from her hawk-like self and taking out her weapons, soaking them in poison with a wet cloth. “That’s not the best strategy, I’d say. We do nothing, while you do all the work. I am more than one-man hit, y’know? I grew up and trained too. I can get at least 20 of those guys.” Shikamaru’s annoyed voice perked up, surprising the girl, who could only blink and look at him with big, almost fawn-like eyes. “I never doubted any of you for a second, and if it seemed that way, I apologise sincerely. Thing is, I’m an ANBU, and out of all of you, only you, Shikamaru, promoted to Chuunin. Now, I’m not saying that these grades matter, because they don’t, but at the same time, I’m responsible for you, and I don’t want to go home with one of you dead in my arms, and having to hold your funeral. I told Tsunade to let me do this alone, but she insisted I pair up with you. I want you all to promise you won’t get in my way and attack, unless necessary, got it? As I said, I absolutely REFUSE to get your blood on my hands, capiche?” Kitsune’s voice became very dry, dark and poisonous very fast, which made the blonde and chestnut haired ninjas gulp and nod fiercely, while the brunet only frowned in anger. “We aren’t 10 year old anymore, Kitsune, and neither are you. This ain’t the mission you went to 6 years ago, and nobody will die on your watch, got it? If you keep being afraid of taking risks, you’ll fail.” Shikamaru got closer to her face, arguing her plan. “Shikaku told you what happened, didn’t he? Well, I should have known, it was bound to happen. Nonetheless, as I said, I’m the leader of the team. You do as I say, or you go home. I will have NOBODY’S blood on my hands. Now go do your jobs and do NOT put yourselves in danger unless I say so.” Kitsune, for the last time, warned the trio, then got up, took off her konoha forehead protector and switched it to a rogue-one, then put back her fox mask and raising her arms up, she attached chakra string to each and every ninja, except the target. “Now, Ino, Shikamaru, go get him.” She commanded in such a dark and monotone voice, almost as if she suddenly transformed into the villain of the series.

Despite disagreeing with the plan, the two did as were told, and very easily, lured their victim into the perfectly placed trap, and now, the trio were his guard.

Further, Kitsune grinne widely behind her mask, chuckling and jumping down from the tall tree, as she used her fire chakra to burn the string, and in turn, the victims they were attached to. With incredible speed and agility, she jumped in the middle of the group and started slicing left and right mercilessly, losing herself in the bloodlust that was surging through her veins, her mind completely away from reality, but in a whole new universe – Of killing strategy.

…That is, until familiar voices – Screams, rather – Resounded through the forest, which completely snapped her away from her concentration, and in turn, getting cut and scratched in various places.

Her eyes saw it easily – The leader escaped their grasp and ran to attempt to kill her, but Shikamaru tried to fight him, and failed, and now Ino was trying heal him. But she was crying. She wasn’t a good enough medical ninja yet. Kitsune knew that feeling all too well.

“Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ kept going into her mind, unusually loud, almost throwing her off her game.

With a raw growl, close to animalistic, she saw red in front of her, and burnt everything in her paths, slashing, dashing, cutting and ripping apart every living being there, sans the leader, whom she managed to immobilize and knock out with the help of Choji. Without sparing any second, she ran to Shikamaru’s side and fell to her knees, roughly pushing Ino aside.

It was an impulsive rush of rage, for she snatched away her mask and forehead protector and threw them as far away as possible, before shrieking at the deer boy for being so stupid.

“Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ those words just wouldn’t stop screeching at her.

“YOU FUCKING IDIOT, SHIKAMARU, I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL, DAMN IT! I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU!” she gripped so tightly at her hair that Ino thought she was going to rip it all off. “If you dare die…I will never forgive you. Never, you get it? Never. Not you. Of all people…You’re the last one alive…So you can’t. I refuse to allow you that. You don’t have the permission to leave me. Ever. Got it?” the red head growled lowly, getting one of her hands inside his chest, performing cardiac massage, and cursed herself for remembering that mission long ago, when she had to do the same thing with her father – But this time, Shikamaru was still alive, and she was sure this time around – No more lies or delusions.

“Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ she needed bloody therapy, she knew that, otherwise those words were going to be the death of her.

With her other hand, she used her other hand to prop up his head and give him CPR, once again, cursing herself for having to do something like this, when she hoped everyone would remain safe and she would, one day, share a sweet kiss with him – Not have to save his life like that.

“Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ they were louder and louder, causing almost a physical discomfort, as if someone was grating her brain.

Once, twice, thrice, and more, so much more – Sasori taught her healing ninjutsu well, and she was confident in her abilities, but there was always that speck of fear and PTSD that was creeping in the back of her mind, reminding her of her past failure.

But the puppet master was an excellent teacher, and she, in turn, was a hard-working and diligent student, so there was no way she was going to put the man she loved on the list of people she let die.

“Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP

“Argh…Too close…” a hand suddenly pushed her aside weakly, and a cough snapped her out of her focused mindset – And blinking away to reality, she realized that the Nara boy was sitting in front of her, breathing normally, and coughing a bit, wearing a scowl on his face.

“Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off –“ the threat is over now, you can stop already, he’s not dead...Like your parents.

“…Oh thank goodness…” Kitsune groaned, letting herself fall on her back, looking up at the sky, her nails digging into her arms now, trying to snap herself back to reality completely. “I won’t forgive you for the stunt you pulled.” She muttered absent-minded, not caring about anyone around her anymore. “…What a troublesome woman. She’s gonna scold me all the way back home. Great.” Shika tried to chuckle, lighting up the mood, but the red haired girl was already on her feet, tying up the target and carrying it, walking in the direction of the village, without saying another word – Her face now again, covered with her mask, showing that she didn’t want to be approached in any way. “Shikamaru, you insensitive idiot! You, jerk! Is that how you treat the woman you love?! She was just worried about you, and you throw away words like that?! Go and apologise right now!” Ino shouted at him, nagging him like she was his mum, so much that the boy could only sigh and drag his hands down his face in annoyance and resentment.

And he actually tried, for once, to reconcile properly, but the only words that she told him were “You have to rest properly when you get home.” And then she just rushed farther and farther ahead.

And that’s just what he did, as the girl guided him home, let the others go to theirs as well, while she went to the Hokage to report to the mission.

After taking a nap and resting, as advised, he left his bedroom and went to the kitchen, seeing his mother frowning, which confused him.

“What happened?” he asked, knowing something was up. “Well…Nothing, really. Your dad is playing Shogi with Kitsune…And I just remembered her mother and the good times when we were friends. Too bad the good ones always die first.” Yoshino sighed, sweeping absent-minded. “Uhm…Y-Yeah…I guess.” He muttered, not having a clue what to say in such a situation. “Won’t you be a dear and tell her to remain for dinner? Poor girl, she’s been all alone since she was 10…I can’t imagine how horrible it must have been…” but she stopped herself before saying anything more that would have upset her, so Shikamaru left the room, believing that letting her just be would have been better.

However, instead of making his presence known, he decided to just open the door ever so slightly, enough to peep from behind and watch the interaction going –

Kitsune was sitting in front of the Shogi table, her head slightly hung, her outfit still unchanged – And she said no word, but it wasn’t clear if she was listening to his father either.

“You can take off your mask now, Kitsune. The mission is over. You can get dressed in Shikamaru’s clothes. Why don’t you sleep over?” Shikaku tried to get a response out of her, even beginning the match, but she seemed to be in her own mind. “No.” she finally muttered after a while, yet she made her move as well, almost robotically. “Kitsune. The mission is over. You can relax now. You are allowed to. You did well and nobody got hurt. Get out of your mission-mind, you’re home now.” The man tried again, but it was clear the aura around the girl became more and more agitated. “Shikamaru almost died.” She pointed out bitterly. “As far as I’m concerned, my son is sleeping in his room as usual. He didn’t complain about his team leader, nor of any injury or danger. If he is fine, so should you be. You can’t take anyone’s pain.” His father spoke again, and with each word, he found himself nodding in agreement. “I ALMOST KILLED YOUR FUCKING SON, SHIKAKU! ARE YOU DEAD? ARE YOU BRAIN-DEAD?! GET ANGRY! YELL AT ME! BEAT ME UP! SCOWL, CURSE ME, INSULT ME…FUCKING DO SOMETHING! YOU ALMOST HELD YOUR SON’S FUNERAL BECAUSE OF ME! I am the one who killed your 2 best friends, and now I almost killed your son too! Why aren’t you reacting in any way?!” the fire outburst of the girl scared the boy out of his wits, flinching when she slammed her fist on the Shogi table, breaking it in two, all pieces getting propelled in different directions, as she shouted at the irritatingly-calm man in front of her. “I will do no such thing, Kitsune, because, first of all, I am not mad at you. It was not your fault, I tell you now, the same as I told you before. It wasn’t you who killed your parents, nor was it you who endangered my son. We are all ninjas, and we serve with our lives on the line. Unexpected surprises always happen, and we can’t predict everything, but we can do our best to avoid them.” Shikamaru’s heart was close to bursting with emotions and words that he wanted to let out, as he felt his fingers digging deep into the wood of the sliding door. “I. Almost. Killed. Shikamaru.” The girl hung her head down, prying away her mask and throwing it away in disgust, her long, fire-red hair completely hiding her tear-stained face. “I argued with him. I insulted him. I cursed him. I yelled at him. In the end, he almost died…Because of me. And…It was just like back then. Almost perfectly like back then. They weren’t paying attention, the enemy escaped, he tried to protect me and got hurt…And I got soaked in his blood. My hands was grasping his heart, and I was helping it pump more and more blood…I was helping him breathe…And all I could do was pray…And pray…And pray again…That he won’t end up like them…But I’m selfish, Shikaku. I didn’t think of you, nor that I almost killed your son. I was only thinking about my own self. I’m selfish and I don’t deserve him.” Her voice become so soft, so broken, as she trembled and sobbed in her hands, not being able to stop the flow of tears and emotions from running astray. “Kitsune…Shikamaru doesn’t hate you, nor is he blaming you for what happened. Stop blaming yourself for things that were inevitable. The most important thing is that you were able to save him and bring him back home safely.” His father sighed, yet his eyes were looking with understanding at the pitiful girl – He knew very well the heartbreak of loss and he didn’t wish it upon anyone, especially such a sensitive young girl. “Scrub it off. Clean it off. Take it off. Claw it off. Rip it off. Saw it off. Carve it off. Rinse it off. Wash it off. Cut it off...That’s the only thing that kept going through my mind, over and over and over again, and I couldn’t stop it! Just like back then...I couldn’t control it. I swore I was going crazy. I was sure he was going to die, and I would remain with his blood on my hands for ages, no matter how hard I’d try to wash it off or even burn away the skin on my hands.” she was shaking so much now, digging her claw-like nails deep into her arms, dragging down and scratching her skin, almost giving herself a sort of comfort, knowing she was still alive, and so was Shikamaru. ”You have nobody’s blood on your hands, Kitsune, understand that. It wasn’t you who killed your parents, no matter how you put it. You tried to save them, but they were beyond saving from anyone. There was nothing you could have done.” Shikaku tried to remind the catatonic girl once again. “…If Shikamaru dies, all the people I ever loved won’t be on this Earth anymore…So there is no reason to live anymore…No matter what, Shikamaru, out of all the people in the world, MUST live. If he gets in danger again, I think I’ll go insane.” She gritted her teeth as her hands made her way into her hair, gripping at it painfully, until the whole world stopped – And once again, time and space were absent from this house –

“I think he feels the same about you.” Shikaku smiled, seeing his son frowning at the girl from behind the door, and motioning to him to get out of there and take the reigns properly, like a man. “What would you know?!” she sneered at him, snapping her head up, only to see the man getting up to leave, and, to her surprise, a pair of arms sneaking around her, pulling her into a tight hug from behind. It was the deer boy, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck.

“You’re such a troublesome woman, you know that, right? When I said you were going to scold me, I was hoping you’d do that. I hoped it would help you relax and vent away your frustrations. I never imagined you’d get so upset over it. Sorry I screwed up your plan, neither of us were paying attention to our target…We were worried about you so we were looking at you…I’m sorry.” He spoke in the most sincere voice she ever heard him speaking, and she couldn’t help but start crying again, turning around and letting herself melt in his embrace, burying her face into his chest and gripping tightly at his shirt. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I screwed up everything – From 6 years ago, to even now, I’m so sorry, Shika. I should have told you everything, but I couldn’t and I screwed up everything.” She kept apologizing over and over, but the boy couldn’t understand why, so instead of saying anything, he cupped her face and placed a short, yet very soft and sweet kiss on her lips, hoping to snap her out of it. “Stop blaming yourself for nothing. I won’t die, and you won’t die, okay? We’re the smartest people around, I’m sure we can screw with everyone. Just the two of us, together. Now, come on, get up, fox girl. It’s getting late, and mum’s gonna yell at me if we don’t go eat dinner while it’s still hot. Let’s find you some comfy clothes.” He helped her get up and guided her to his room, giving her a loose white Tshirt and some comfy pants. “Well…I guess I make even leisure clothes look fashion.” She admired herself in the mirror, posing and grinning in amusement, making the boy chuckle. “Yeah, ‘course you do. But, before that…Here. It just wouldn’t be fair if I was the only one wearing one.” Saying that, Shikamaru took out a deer necklace from his pocket and put it around her slender neck, before taking his own fox necklace from under his shirt, and letting it dangle out to compliment hers. “…Haha, you kept it. How nice. I don’t know about you, but if you ask me, we can’t get more soulmate-y than that.” She chuckled, squishing his cheeks and pulling him into a deep kiss that was more playful than anything, yet still dazed him a bit, as he let himself get dragged to the kitchen where his parents were waiting for them. They smiled at each other seeing the two teenagers smiling so carefree, so happy at each other – And those symbolic animal necklaces, almost dangling towards each other, like Yin tried to get closer to Yang, and vice versa. “Tomorrow, we are SO going to go and make fun of Ino and Sakura for being obsessed over Sasuke, when we have the perfect relationship right here! Ha! They’re gonna be so jealous!” she smirked mischievously, and the boy could only shake his head, but chuckle at her nonetheless. “What did I get myself into…You troublesome woman.” He nudged her playfully, and it was one of the first times that anyone around saw him not so lazy. “Fine, fine, we can go to BBQ after with Choji, if you want. Sounds fair enough, doesn’t it? My treat.” She flashed him a charming smile, and he could only shrug in agreement. “You’ll get broke, but you said it, can’t take it back now. You clearly forgot how much Choji eats.” Shikamaru teased her, but she only smirked wider. “I lived as a bounty hunter for years before I got back, Shikamaru. I could buy a villa right now. I’m sure I can afford a meal for my friends.” She flipped her hair and winked playfully at the boy next to her.

The next day, just as promised, she dragged her new boyfriend around to brag about him and how awesome he is, and all that, all while he would just blush and grumble in the background, but at least the BBQ hang out was fun and they had a good laugh, as all friends do.

When all was over, she had him go by to her home to get a neatly wrapped, big gift from her living room, and then went back to his home, before handing him the present.

“Here, open it. It’s not the best…But I’m sorry for my outburst. It was uncalled for, and I’m really, really sorry for destroying it. This…This was my parents’ Shogi table and…You should have it. And my parents were best friends with your parents…So yeah. Please take it. And I’m sorry again.” She urged him to open it already, and inside, as she mentione, a beautiful Shogi table, on the back of it, her parents names being carved, inside a heart. “O-Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. You can have your dad shave it off, cover it, or something, I don’t mind. It’s yours now.” She awkwardly scratched the back of her head, but the boy merely shook his head. “No, it’s perfect as it is. Come on, why don’t we go out in the forest? I’m sure you want to see the deer.” He carefully placed the Shogi table on his futon and guided her out. “And we can watch the stars in your garden tonight?” she smiled at him sweetly. “Yeah, sure, we can do that. Sounds nice.”

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xiyao-feels · 3 years

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new tu and xiyao fan from earlier. i searched ao3 as per your suggestion and there's only 500 or so fics for them. :( however, i do have a legit question - what are the differences between mdzs and tu (i've never read the latter). and if you want expand on nieyao (or xiyao) please feel free! i love reading meta! one of the few reasons i miss old school fandom spaces lol. thank you!! :D

Hmmm, I see about eight hundred if I limit to English? But I take your point! But that was just as a way to start; once you do find an author you like, you can look at their bookmarks, for example. (Also I'm not sure if you're familiar with the AO3, but if not, sorting by kudos when doing a general search is a way to get stuff that at least lots of people thought was good. I'm not saying it's perfect, but when you're starting in a fandom it can be better than the default by-date-updated.)

Also I'll take the opportunity to plug my absolute favourite xiyao author, roquen. I didn't mention them last time because they haven't I believe written a post-canon fixit, and you should know that they're mostly sticking to MDZS instead of CQL canon, although with some sprinkling of CQL elements and characterization. Some particular favourites of mine include their AtLA AU and their Sunshot/on the run fics (both series with a couple of short fics), their what you might call a mid-temple hopeful fix-it (divergence where LWJ strikes to kill and LXC takes the blow), the baby LXC fic ("Lan Xichen reverts to being a fifteen-year-old junior, and immediately gets an epic crush on Lianfang-zun"; disclaimer that I was fairly involved with the creation of this one but it's GREAT) and, of course, above all, their gigantic canon fix-it verse, it's worth it every time. It's SO GOOD and the characterization is fantastic and the prose is excellent and UGH. It's so good!!!!! Disclaimer that the second fic in the series, which is the main work, is still WIP, but roquen updates regularly and there are only a couple of chapters left; if you're still wary of WIPs, I'd at least recommend the first fic, which stands alone and is brilliant in its own right.

As to the differences between MDZS and CQL…ho boy. There are quite a few, both major and minor, and I'm by no means familar with all of them—especially the ones that don't involve 3zun, lol. I tried to google around but unfortunately the ones I found tended to be either short or, if more in-depth, contain inaccuracies about JGY/LXC—I think people tend to be more interested in the Wangxian, and then this stuff goes by the wayside. The wiki can be a good source for differences for specific incidents, and although I think it's not always accurate it /does/ usually cite chapter or episode, which can be pretty helpful.

This, by hualiann, looks like a good overview, though I'd add that JYL, WQ and WN didn't study at Cloud Recesses in the novel and that more generally MDZS has a lot of actual undead.

In general my advice is to take things people say about the novel with a large grain of salt, myself included. And about CQL, too! I have no idea if this is you but when I joined the fandom, if people asserted stuff about CQL I tended to just kind of take it as fact—oh, I thought, I must have misremembered! My memory is pretty terrible, and honestly there was absolutely stuff I did misremember. But also sometimes other people misremember, or fanon gets taken as canon, and then there's stuff like—I mean, I'm certainly not going to blame people for not realizing that "JGY conspired with XY at the Unclean Realm" is a lot more uncertain than you might guess at first, especially if they're more Wangxian focused which most people in the fandom are, but I'm still not going to present it as straight-up fact. (veliseraptor has a recent post examining this here which I would very much recommend).

Honestly I think I'd recommend reading the MDZS NMJ Empathy flashback—chapters 48, 49, and the beginning of 50. That gets you a lot of the JGY, LXC and NMJ backstory, and then you can compare for yourself! I'm also going to recommend Mercy's thread, here, listing common fanons about MDZS (I will add to the list, since it's a bugbear of mine, the idea that LXC recognized NMJ's fierce corpse by his abs).

Okay with all that out of the way, and in no particular order, Sun's extremely idiosyncratic and particularly- aka mostly JGY-focused differences list:

-In MDZS, LXC doesn't become Sect Leader until the burning of Cloud Recesses by the Wen, when his father is injured and then succumbs to his wounds. In CQL, he's Sect Leader from the beginning of the show, his father having apparently died not too long before the show started.

-In MDZS, MY wasn't working for the Nie at all before the beginning of Sunshot; he joined the Nie forces just after Sunshot began. NMJ didn't instantly promote him to be his deputy when he's telling at the Nie men for bad-mouthing him; it takes a few more encounters and/or battles with the Wen (after which MY clears the battlefield and helps the commoners).

-In MDZS, xiyao's first meeting happens when LXC is on the run with the Lan books after the burning of Cloud Recesses. We don't see it happen on the page, and we don't know any details of that time beyond, like, MY helped LXC.

-NMJ willingly sends MY away from the Nie, with a letter of recommendation for JGS, after, uh, an extended overhearing of a conversation between MY and LXC wherein MY's desire to be recognized by his father and gain a proper place in the Jin, the opportunity offered for that by JGS recruiting talent at Langya, and the possible difficulty of obtaining permission from NMJ are all established.

-NMJ sees MY stabbing a /Jin/ captain, at Langya, after he goes looking for MY. Rather than taking a blow for NMJ, MY stabs himself, faking suicide, then immobilizes NMJ (who's trying to save his life) and flees. This is because NMJ wants MY to go turn himself in for killing the captain; MY thinks they'll kill him, while NMJ says that if the captain has actually been mistreating MY as MY said, MY won't be killed. Personally I think that all the evidence suggests that MY is right, and NMJ is blind to the effects of his position to the extent it's a not insignificant moral failure.

-Okay, so, you know how in CQL MY stabs WRH while he's distracted with WWX, outside on the steps with the Sunshot alliance right outside? In /MDZS/, they're in the Sun Palace, WWX isn't anywhere near the place, he does it to save NMJ's life, and then he starts lugging NMJ's unconscious body out of the palace. And then NMJ comes to consciousness amd demands his sabre and tries to kill him. He likely only survives because of NMJ's wounds, and if LXC hadn't shown up (responding to a message MY sent for aid for NMJ) NMJ might easily have killed him. If you want a more in-depth analysis, I take a close look here in my response to someone's, er, imaginative interpretation of NMJ and JGY's relationship in MDZS.

-In CQL, NMJ's qi deviation happens at the stairs incident. In MDZS, it happens later, when he overhears JGY being upset to LXC about how NMJ treated him at the stairs, and, overcome with rage that JGY would dare (arguably in combination with being polite and pleasant to NMJ's face, although the last time he was confrontational to NMJ's face NMJ kicked him down the stairs and tried to kill him so), he kicks open the door and tries to kill him. He also kills several people as he's qi deviating (seeing them as JGY—while in CQL he also sees several JGYs they seem to be just illusions), and injures NHS.

-In MDZS, NMJ sets fire to all of NHS' nice things. I don't think we're told either way in CQL, although it's worth noting that in MDZS this happens after the stairs (and before JGY starts playing for him again). (I think they do something in FJ?? But I don't take FJ as canon for CQL; see confusion-and-more's post here).

-In CQL, JGY suggests to NMJ that he's always played the corrupted Clarity for him (though granted this is in Empathy, so it's hard to say for sure if this is what he actually said, but in any case it's the only version we're given). In MDZS, it's strongly indicated that JGY only started playing Turmoil for NMJ /after/ the stairs—there's a variety of evidence, but I think the most objective is that WWX, who in MDZS Empathy can literally feel NMJ's anger, actually observes it working beforehand:

Since [JGY started playing for NMJ], Jin GuangYao would travel from Lanling to Qinghe every few days, playing Sound of Lucidity to help quell Nie MingJue rage. He tried his hardest, without speaking even a single word of complaint. Sound of Lucidity was indeed effective. Wei WuXian could clearly feel that the hostile energy within Nie MingJue was being suppressed.

(Exiled Rebels translation, ch. 49)

And then the next scene is the stairs incident, so.

-In general, the degree to which JGY's position is completely awful is played down in CQL. confusion-and-more talks about it a bit here; I'd also note that some of JGY's dialogue defending himself is removed ( “Some trivial achievements?” He spoke in a shaking voice, “…What do you mean, some trivial achievements? ChiFeng-Zun, do you know how much work I put into such trivial achievements? How much I suffered? Glory? Without the handful of glory I have nothing!”, for example), we don't hear about his mother at the guqin scene, the temple flashback where his mother is dragged naked outside by a client and he's kicked down the brothel stairs is eliminated, etc etc.

-There is absolutely no second flutist in MDZS; also JGY tells us in the temple that QS was already pregnant before he found out about the incest. I think even in CQL it's questionable whether he actually intended to kill Zixuan (see this whole conversation), and significant unveiling or no CQL never actually says QS wasn't pregnant before their marriage so I tend to go with that too, but certainly it's easy to walk away with the impression that he definitely did both deliberately, especially if you aren't familiar with the novel.

-(In general, I think CQL JGY is a lot more sympathetic than most people think once you look closely, but he's also very much set up to look upon a more casual watching as Villain, so.)

-In CQL it's All A-Yao All The Time but in MDZS we see LXC calling him san-di after the sworn brotherhood, and then it's back to A-Yao in the present day (see my last addition on this chain here).

-In MDZS, JGY doesn't shove JL out of the way of the incoming attack.

-The LXC lifting JGY out of his bow thing is from CQL

-The watchtowers! Oh /man/ the watchtowers. God the watchtowers are so much. Uh, confusion-and-more has a post about how much they're mentioned in MDZS vs CQL here, and see my last addition to this thread for an argument that the watchtowers were indeed a force for good. God. Twelve hundred watchtowers. He must have saved so many lives...

-confusion-and-more's watchtower post also reminds me that CQL has the Guanyin temple giving out medicine, while MDZS does not

-The episode 23 scene where Sect Leaders Jin, Nie, and Lan agree to spare some of the Wen doesn't exist in MDZS (though I'll take the opportunity to observe that I disagree with popular interpretations of that scene, see point three here).

-In MDZS NMJ's fierce corpse is literally trying to kill JGY, there's no saber spirit. And like, it's been trying to kill JGY for a long damn time, that's why JGY dismembered him.

-The XY plotline—in MDZS, JGY recommends a young XY (who at thay point has a reputation but is not known to have committed any massacres) as a Jin cultivator, as part of an effort by JGS to recreate the Yin Tiger Seal. JGS has multiple people trying, but most of them aren't getting anywhere and XY is getting furthest. It's during this time that XY kills the Chang clan, and is discovered as guilty by XXC, who brings up the evidence at a conference happening in Lanling; the Jin are stalling, MMJ gets angry and shows up, he almost kills XY on the spot and gives JGS a lecture such that he's forced to relent and sentence XY to death (and incidentally scares JGY, imho quite seriously, while he's at it). Then JGS turns it into life imprisonment once NMJ has left, and then NMJ is extremely angry and attacks JGY at the stairs. (Ch. 30 and 118)

-I mentioned before but I'll add it here too: in CQL JGY asks LXC to stay and die with him, and LXC agrees.

-The CQL ending in general is...hmmm. Despite having most of the elements which complicate MDZS' ending (JL is in a terrible position!), it kind of presents as...happy ending all is fixed now? In MDZS I think it's presented as—more complicated, even though Wangxian do very much get their happy ending.

-Also LWJ is a lot less. uh. Okay, so in CQL he's more Mr Morality, and in MDZS it's much more Wei Ying Right Or Wrong. Also, he doesn't become Chief Cultivator in MDZS! I think that's my least favourite change, because it's like...LWJ hates politics, hates compromise, and never attends the cultivation conferences. At least one of 'this is going to be a major diisaster' and 'LWJ is going to have to go through some significant shifts in his worldview and approach' are going to have to happen, but that's not the vibe CQL gives off at all, and I think it really works against some of the major themes of the text :/

-OH RIGHT I knew I was forgetting something—in MDZS MXY's revenge is focused solely on the Mo; JGY is not part of the curse.

Okay I don't want to go too much on about xiyao or nieyao, because this is already quite long and I don't want you to be waiting forever, but broadly although I certainly think NMJ cares about JGY a great deal it seems to be about his competence and potential; he doesn't really seem to, like, actually like who he is as a person. JGY, meanwhile, is at first very grateful to and then increasingly exasperated by and very much fucking terrified of NMJ, but...well, he doesn't seem to be into him or interested in spending time with him for the sake of it or etc etc.

On the other hand—xiyao. Man, xiyao!!!! They just—they get each other so fast, they're /partners/, they work together so well, they like and they respect each other, they're both like—LXC and MS are on their own tier for JGY, LWJ and JGY are on their own tier for LXC, they're for each other in a way neither is for anyone else, they care a lot about the same things—it's not perfect overlap, obviously, but it's more overlap I think than either has with anyone else, they—invest, they're builders, JGY was planning the watchtowers project from way back and although I have no doubt he was driving it LXC was with him and!!!! ugh!!!!! xiyao are REALLY GREAT, okay.

#the best of men #more than one tag could contain #a gentle warmth filling the deepest of needs #anger burned in his heart #long meta #sort of #we can't change places #j #mostly jgy-focused discussion of differences between mdzs and cql under the cut

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ainelane · 3 years

Text

Thank you dear reader, these stories are drawing to a close and now I must relate to you the story of the Captain, champion of Ianite, hero of balance.

But before I begin his tell I must talk of a Sadly departed friend. The goddess Kels lady of insight. A lesser god borne from the dreams of the lady Ianite she was the god that ruled over seers and wisdom. In ancient times she was often depicted as an owl on the shoulders of the lady Ianite or the lord Mianite to represent either insight or wisdom of her perch. Many years ago in my travels I met her and we discussed affairs. As a fellow abstract entity with a Bird vessel I felt a kinship. Sadly her end was met by the darkness. A terrible being that devours gods.

I tell this story because kels was the goddess worshipped in a small but powerful nation whose name was put to rest by its finally surviving citizens. And it is in this nation blessed by the goddess of seers that we find the birth place of The Captain. Son to a viscountess and a marquis. The captain's father was the first prince of the country but, deciding his skills in governance was weak he abdicated his claim to the throne to his younger brother and instead took up position as the war chancellor. Overseeing all of the nation's forces. The Young captain was born with claim to the throne even being named crown prince for a the time being due to the lack of heirs from the current king and was even given a military rank as homage to his father's position, the rank of captain. The country thrived for a long time. The seers and mystics of the land constantly pushing them forward protecting the country from attack and wearing their enemies through mystic subterfuge. Then one day the lady Kels stopped granting them her insight. And soon after tragedy struck.a great and terrible monstrosity struck. A blue dragon with three heads. A terrible monster known only as the queen. It was known to the mystics of the country for a long time but they thought that it couldn't cross the barriers of its home deminsion to theirs. What they didn't know was that it was due to the intervention of their God. The young captain only survived due to his father's help, he stuffed the young captain into a barrel and pushed it into the sea. Sending out prayers to any God that would listen that he would find safe passage. The queen was forced back to its home by Ianite who noticed it as it attacked a settlement at the edge of a territory that worshiped it. Sadly the destruction of the kingdom couldn't be avoided, with the darkness recently striking the other gods were too fearful to even peer into that corner of the world. The young captain washed up on the shore of a jungle he fashioned himself a knife from rocks and sticks and began to explore the land. During the day he forged hunted and set up camp and at night he tossed and turned with nightmares of watching his home burn. The darkness of the inside of the barrel, the rocking of the waves that helplessly carried him away, the horrific roars of the queen. He started sleeping less instead focusing more and more on his survival. Crafting better weapons and honing his skills against the monsters of the jungle in this place it seemed all manner of things existed that weren't in the world at large, strange creatures and even stranger sights. Though the strangest was the slime that seemed much too nice for its own good. The Captain almost cut it down on a sight but when it didn't jump at him to attack he got curious and approached it. Soon the slime became his only friend in this land full of hostile creatures. He fashioned strong and stronger weapons from the creatures he slew using them to strengthen himself as he began to create a goal for himself. He would get revenge find the queen and slay it.

Now dear reader I must tell you that the young captain found himself in a nexus, when the queen ripped open a hole through to our world from hers she connected them for a brief period the captain's barrel rode partly into this zone into a plain between them. Leaving him partially in both deminsions. Its a state usually called plainstriding. Know that plainstriders have dual sights seeing both their world and another even after returning to a single reality often they are surrounded by shimmering auras the veil separating the world's more visible around them .Though right now this information isn't important. One night while sleeping he was awoken by the footsteps of a Giant beast. It's silhouette was a shadow on the sky everywhere it walked left the earth shattered and barren. At first the captain thought to run but quickly the idea was tossed away if he could kill this thing it would be the first real step towards proving that the queen could be felled. The captain charged this beast some would call it mobzilla and with his sharp blade for three days straight the two struggled and fought until finally. It fell. For miles the jungle was a wreck the poison blood of the creature salting the earth. The Captain stripped scales from the corpse fashioning armor from it. He took its bones and ground them up using them to strengthen his blades. Though the thought soon occurred to him that he hadn't seen his slime friend in some time. It was then and only then that he realize the extent that his battle scarred the land. With how slow the slime was and how large the effected area was it was doubtful that his friend survived. He was alone again. He hadn't even named the slime, why would he it was only the two of them here what's the point of a name, he couldn't even remember his own name. Much deeper into the jungle he found a tree much larger than the others. And decided to build his base of operations high into the tops of the tree over looking the jungle he decided to honor the slime with a name and name the tree in honor of the slime, Jerry the slime and Jerry's tree. A home it would never expirence.

It took years for him to learn to travel through deminsions at will using the unique position to find unique position to travel to different worlds slowly but surely fighting monsters and solving puzzles until he finally found the world of the queen. First having to go up against it's mate, white three headed dragon he called the king, then finally finding and slaying the queen by his own hands. He taking only a single scale from the queens body the egg it was guarding and his blade. He placed all three on a shrine to his lost friend and the lives lost in his kingdom. The lady Ianite who watched him achieve his revenge finally marked him as her chosen champion and brought him back from the nexus. While he slept. He woke on a beach the oddly smiling face of a zombie named syn in his face welcoming him to the realm. The lost prince, captain do to his statues as a plainstrider seemed to shimmer and quickly gained the name sparklez for it.

#mianite #team ianite #slight tw maybe #i wanted to include his survival #lets plays as part of his background #this is what i came up with #basically using the fact that #the darkness has killed other gods #before the series to give him a backstory #i like it what about you

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lykaokrios · 3 years

Text

Perfectly Fine - M!De Sardet x Vasco

Fandom: Greedfall

Paring: Captain Vasco x M!De Sardet

Word Count: 1,658

Description: Vasco is battling with feelings he most certainly doesn't have for De Sardet, until it all comes spilling out.

Warnings: Mild swearing

My AO3

Vasco wasn’t a man prone to rash emotion. Usually able to keep his head steady in most situations; else he’d make a poor captain. Annoyed? Yes. Miffed? Of course. But angry? Very rarely.

But anger had seemed to slither into his veins the longer he was on land. It was the land’s doing of course. Being too far from sea. It had nothing to do with the handsome noble he found himself following.

It was never anger AT De Sardet. But anger at situations and people around him. The more he… became friendly with the man the more things that seemed to tick him off.

And it most certainly didn’t have anything to do with the way said man made his heart quicken. With the way he looked at him. With the feelings he refused to acknowledge as anything more than mere attraction. A battle he was sorely losing.

The idea of being in love with a noble seemed crazy. Being in love with the nephew of a Prince however, seemed absolutely insane. Even if he was willing to accept his own feelings, which he wasn’t, there was no way De Sardet would reciprocate. And even if he did, which he wouldn’t, it wasn’t like he was in any position to be with him. He was the Legate of the Congregation, nephew of the prince, cousin of the governor, and he was in line for the fucking throne. As if he could be with a Naut even if he wished to be.

But no. Those thoughts certainly never bothered him. They rarely crossed his mind. And never had he taken that anger out on the next battle they fell into or looked to the bottom of a bottle of whiskey for the answer to this problem.

If he just wasn’t so… caring. If he just didn’t look at him so.. fondly. Vasco concludes that must be it. While the Nauts are a close family, you were set to your own devices to figure things out fairly early. They said that’s how you grow, how you show who you’re going to be. There was no motherly or fatherly roles, just mentors. They cared in their own ways. But never anything outright.

But De Sardet. He often wore his heart on his sleeve. A trait Vasco first saw as a weakness. Caring for too many people. Trying to help too many people, all out of sense of doing the right thing. But over time he found himself enamored with the ideals of the man. The way he tried to maintain peace with everyone. How he wanted to think the best of all parties. The way he took everyone’s voice into account.

The way he easily built friendships as their little crew expanded. How he’d drop everything to help one of them. The day Vasco had asked for his help, he immediately started planning, and had the file to him within 24 hours. It was an odd feeling, having someone in his life that would risk their life and reputation just to make him feel more whole.

The Nauts had long told them that who they were before didn’t matter. To just forget it. But it mattered to Vasco. And because it mattered to him, De Sardet decided it mattered to him as well.

The day Vasco went down in battle, De Sardet was to him in moments, standing over him warding off the attackers with a fierceness he’d never seen. After a pile of corpses lay before them, he swiftly turned to Vasco to check on him. Calloused hands moving impossibly soft across his face, blue-green eyes full of worry staring into his soul.

De Sardet had the eyes of the ocean. Their color reminded Vasco of the waters surrounding the Naut island. The water he grew up splashing in with the other children, swimming in and training in as he grew, and the water he returned to happily each time he made it back. A beautiful blue-green. The storm that seemed to wage in them when he was angry, the calmness in them when he was happy. The captain felt like he could happily get lost in them every time they were trained on his own golden eyes.

Not that his other features were easy to ignore. It would take a blind man to not notice how handsome the legate was. A rugged rough masculine build. Strong jaw, strong frame, a dusting of facial hair. A smile that made him weak in the knees each time it was directed at him. Unfortunately, Vasco wasn’t the only one that noticed.

He knew there would be nothing between himself and the legate, as he continued to remind himself. Others enjoying his features, flirting with him, or attempting to seduce him wasn’t to be of Vasco’s concern. The man could do as he liked.

Not that those people didn’t infuriate the captain to no end. He often just scoffed at their attempts, or focused on maintaining as neutral of an expression as he could manage. A task he didn’t seem to be that good at, if Kurt’s reactions were anything to go by.

“You looked as if you were ready to kill that man,” Kurt states simply as the two of them follow behind the legate as they leave the half Brothel half gambling ring basement of San Matheus.

“No clue what you are on about,” Vasco responds sternly, fighting down the anger still flowing through his veins.

“Either you have a history with that prostitute and you don’t like him, or you don’t like how he talked to De Sardet I’d wager by that reaction,” Kurt pushes.

“I’m perfectly fine,” Vasco still insists, clenching his hands as they walk, his eyes trained on the design on the back of De Sardet’s cape.

“Man was just doin’ his job. Green-blood seemed interested anyway,” Kurt teases.

“He did not!” Vasco hisses, whipping around to face Kurt. His fists clenched and his chest heaving. “The man should be able to see he is an important diplomat doing a job, and fucking watched his mouth. He didn’t immediately need to try to climb him like the fucking mast.”

“Vasco?” De Sardet stops walking to turn back to his companions, his expression confused. “Is everything alright with you two?”

“Perfectly fine,” Vasco responds back through gritted teeth.

Looking unconvinced, the legate’s gaze turns to his old weapons-master, “Kurt?”

Kurt lets out a laugh before reaching out to grab the Naut on the shoulder, a move Vasco refutes, shaking his hand off of him. “I’m just havin’ a bit of fun with him, and he took it seriously.”

Crossing the distance between them, De Sardet approaches Vasco, noticing the obvious tension in his body.

“Kurt, please give us a moment to speak,” he says, placing a hand to Vasco’s chest as he backs the man into an a nearby empty alleyway. “What happened?”

In that moment, the dirt road suddenly got far more interesting for the Naut captain. His eyes trained to one specific boot print in the dirt as he tries to mumble a lame response.

“Vasco.”

“He was just… teasing me a bit, nothing more nothing less,” he insists.

“What did he say that got you that riled up? I’ve never seen you this agitated. Then again… you were agitated before this. What is going on?”

Vasco remains silent, just kicking his own boot in the dirt. His body still tensed, but now he’s not sure if it’s previous anger or how close he now found himself to the other man.

After a few moments of silence, De Sardet grabs ahold of both sides of Vasco’s uniform and shoves him back into the brick wall behind, causing the Naut to immediately look up into his eyes in shock. “Vasco.”

Before he can formulate an answer, he finds himself crashing his lips to the legate’s. De Sardet jumps at the the initial contact, but quickly deepens the kiss between them. Vasco’s arms wrap around him, his hands gripping his cape as a growl escapes his throat.

De Sardet knocks his hat off as his hands go to the Naut’s hair, quickly freeing it from its tie. His hands sink in his long brunette hair as they pull each other impossibly closer.

And seemingly as quick as it began, they’re pulling back gasping for a breath. A chuckle from De Sardet as Vasco’s eyes desperately search his.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for months,” the legate admits softly. “But was that just to distract me from my questions or…?”

“Or,” Vasco responds immediately, cursing himself at the dumb response as he earns another chuckle. He can feel his cheeks flushed, and his mind feels scrambled.

“What were you angry about?”

At this point, Vasco decides it’s time to just answer truthfully. If there was any chance… “He was teasing me about my anger from the interrogation.”

“He was teasing you for being angry in the brothel? You seemed angry, but I assumed you just didn’t like how unhelpful he was being.”

“I was… aggravated… at his advances,” he admits. “At you.”

“You were upset that the worker tried to seduce me?”

“Aye.”

Another chuckle. And with that Vasco can feel his cheeks heating ever further, “Sea and love both share a bitter bite… the sea seizes. Love seizes. Love scalds us, and the seas scalds us. For neither are free from tempest might.”

De Sardet looks back at him curiously, the sea in his eyes calm as he finds himself staring into them.

“A poem?”

“Yes… uh.. a poem I read and which I was trying to remember. It makes me think of you… of us,” he admits. “I- would you… want to spend some time alone together?”

A gentle smile spreads across De Sardet’s face, his hand moving to Vasco’s cheek as he strokes it gently, “I thought you’d never ask.”

#captain vasco #vasco #greedfall #greedfall vasco #de sardet #de sardet x vasco #fanfiction #fanfic #greedfall fanfic

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draven-imani · 3 years

Text

Journal 6

Today was another long day. Another very long day. I don’t even know how to begin to express how much happened today.

We broke fate.

We did what we came to the Grey Garrison to do and according to a higher being we weren’t actually meant to have done that but we did anyways and it changed everything. It changed an entire timeline. We did that. I’m still processing that.

Let me start from the top.

We made for Old Kenabres first thing in the morning. We were given a number of supplies from Arashniaval for our strike force, while Horgus was using his own funds to supply the main troops. The Silver Legion and the units Commander Tirabade had been able to muster rode ahead and drew away the brunt of the demonic forces, leaving the Grey Garrison mostly unguarded. The Commander did not join the forces drawing distraction, however. She would be fighting alongside us to reclaim the shard of the Wardstone from Deskari’s hands. And she was not the only one. This morning the envoy the Commander sent down to speak with the First Descendants returned as well. And they came alongside forces from below ground lead by Lann, ready to join the fight against the demon scourge. Lann and a number of his rangers joined our strike team. Each of us paired up with a ranger, with the group deciding I should team up with Lann since I was the captain of this mission. I had no arguments there. Lann proved to be a very capable marksman. Even without cold iron arrows he managed to do some damage to some of the demons we faced, which is more than I could say for most people.

If we ever have a moment when we aren’t fighting for our lives for once, I wouldn’t mind having a chance to chat with him outside of life-threatening situations. Lann seems like a good guy. But apparently my life is going to be getting really busy really soon, so that’s probably not in the cards.

As we approached the grey garrison, we saw two sentries. We identified the twisted reanimated mockeries as vermleks, parasitic demons who puppeteer corpses of the dead. The victims in question were High Commander Hulrun, and the head of Nyserian Manor ironically enough. It would seem Lord Nyserian met with a terrible fate when he presented Commander Tirabade’s sword to the demons, in a bid to try to get safe passage and a position of power. We found proof later that this was their punishment for him not giving it to them sooner. Serves a coward and a traitor right, for the innocent blood on his hands.

My feelings about Hulrun are more complicated. He was a powerful crusader. He should have been able to stand up against the demons as a symbol of strength against the tide of evil. Instead he was felled and turned into a mockery. So I found what they did despicable and I wanted to put him to rest. But I also never found him to be the height of what we could stand for. He was no Irabeth Tirabade. At one time he was a paranoid man who brought out the worst in our people for many years. He led the witch hunts, which may have been a little before my time, but the effects of which still echo down. I…deeply fear what would happen if anyone found out about the mark I keep under wraps.

Whether he truly become better or simply had others who advised him to tone it down, I will likely never know now. And quite frankly it doesn’t matter, as he is dead and we have more pressing matters than the past to contend with.

Speaking of that accursed mark, it was bleeding a stream of blood worse than ever before, and burning like someone had taken a hot iron to it. I couldn’t help but flinch, and the others couldn’t help but notice the bandages that were already stained red before we had even entered battle. I…promised to explain later. And I suppose I will have to, if it’s going to cause so much blood that I cannot hide it around so many demons. I will have to find a new method. Perhaps a bracer of some kind…

Hiskaria asked ‘you too’ when I started rubbing at my arm initially, and showed me a mark on her back. It was not anything near the same as the festering mark on my wrist. She had some sort of large glowing spiral birthmark on her back. Although there was one thing in common I found: both appeared the day our families died. Hers was reacting here as well, which was apparently abnormal. Hers had something to do with the Riftwardens—which now that I think about it she’d kept buddying up to Arashniaval frequently, going to him to comfort him when he thought the Riftwardens died despite just meeting him, and he’d reacted to her in surprise when we’d first met her.

For now, however, we needed to focus on the mission as hand. There were two demon sentries. If we took them out fast, we might not alert the entire temple of our presence right away. Luna did her usual thing, going invisible and sneaking up on one, getting a good swing in on it, although not enough to destroy its host. Commander Tirabade charged in behind her, stabbing it, and Melody joined her.

Hiskaria and I focused on the other. Radiance was more insistent than ever that these demons be cleansed—the bodies of the faithful needed to be freed and put to rest properly.

These creatures took a beating and still remained standing, sending wave after wave of negative energy through us with mass inflict wounds. The Commander cut down the one who was possessing Hulrun—trying to be respectful of the dead, although once Luna got started insulting him for the witch hunts it was hard for any of us to not agree with her points that the man was kind of an ass. Still, the demon was dead and I’d at least follow Radiance’s request to lay his body to rest later, even he deserved that much.

The other demon devoured its host, but was then skewered through on Melody’s glaive, leaving the courtyard outside the temple silent.

Then Melody looked up. She told us in a hushed voice that she saw her goddess’ songbird. But also a twisted being who looked like a humanoid woman with a clawed locust’s arm. An oracle of Deskari. And probably a powerful one at that if her body was twisted in such a manner.

This would be no easy task. But we needed to get to the wardstone and destroy it, to keep it from being used as a weapon and turning our own symbol of protection against our unsuspecting men and women on the front lines. Whether it would be easy or not didn’t matter.

Luna slipped ahead of us, practically vanishing as she pulled her hood over her head and she seemed to become one with the shadows with her mastery of stealth. I focused on Iomedae’s blessings, using her mastery of the warrior’s ways to try to keep up with my swift footed companion.

A fight had already broken out by the time I arrived. Luna had snuck up behind a tiefling cultist and liberated his head from his shoulders. The rest had tried to swarm her, but she was not an easy woman to harm in such a way. Lann shot an arrow into the fray, catching the attention of one of the tieflings and drawing him out of the room to me, which I swiftly cut down. The rest were taken care of by Hiskaria’s arrows and Luna and Melody’s blades.

Now that we were inside of the temple, Radiance’s energy was feeling more insistent than usual. They told me that this was once a temple to Iomedae, and it should be cleansed and returned to its former glory. I got the sense that they meant immediately, not after we got rid of the demons. At first as I cleared the demons I argued with Radiance, telling the sword that I needed them to be patient—if we tried to cleanse the temple before we got rid of all the demons, the demons would just desecrate it again.

What made me change my mind was the room with the arms.

I am not going to describe the room with the arms. Just know that…the demons and their cultists made some very visceral and disgusting idols in mockery of our holy places.

I was ambushed by several cultists of Deskari in that room. Which was a veeeeeery good way to get some very recently acquired bad feelings out of my system. With some help from the others, we cleared out the three cultists who thought they would be adding me to their sick idol. Sick bastards.

Then Melody opened a door. And got a bomb right in the face.

Because alchemists suck like that.

Luna went in with her axe, but the man had a spell on that made hitting him difficult, he shifted around the attacks, our visuals on him were blurred and difficult to see correctly. Hiskaria got a bright idea, and cast magic missile on him.

I liked that idea, and produced a wand of magic missile we’d been given by Arashniaval, and did the same. Between the two of us and Luna, we beat away at the alchemist. He used a smoke bomb to try to hide from the missiles. Hiskaria got in closer, drew fire from him, and was able to give me enough of an idea of where he was that I could get up in his face and cast it once more. Which was all we needed.

From there we only had one way to go. Which was behind a locked door Luna was having difficulty opening. We decided to work together to smash through it. With Luna taking point, we threw everything we had into it, and finally managed to burst the door.

Straight into a room with a tiefling and three dretches.

It wasn’t actually that difficult. Luna ran past the dretches and took on the tiefling. Commander Tirabade and Melody took on the dretch nearest the door, which I used the Commander’s shield for cover to slip in and attack the one next to her, Radiance giving me a particularly spectacular moment killing the dretch in a single swing. The final dretch tried to flee, but Luna took a swing at it as it did, then ran after it and ended it before it could try to warn anyone on the second floor.

We were a little bruised, but not so much that we felt like we needed to sound the retreat yet.

Radiance was even more insistent, and I was feeling a bit twitchy after the aforementioned room as well. I requested some time to clear out the bottom floor before we continued on. The others agreed, as it would give them some time to check for anything of value on the bodies they may have missed.

So, I got to work. First clearing out the…aforementioned room. Doing burial rites for the desecrated bodies and for Hulrun while I was at it. Then I cleaned the prayer room. Which had an interesting engraving in celestial, although I cannot read the language. I recalled that Gabrielle could as an aasimar, although I didn’t want to make assumptions given how different Luna is—so I asked if anyone in our group could speak the language. As fortune would have it, Luna did speak celestial, and was willing to help, despite needing to kneel before the alter to see the engraving properly. She would not tell me what it said, instead, she went over to a glowing outline of a doorway we’d noticed in the other room, and spoke the words, “Let us inherit thine arms, Iomedae.” The doorway swung open. Inside was an amazing armory. Cold iron weapons of all kinds, an enchanted longsword, sturdy shields, and a gorgeous breastplate with Iomedae’s holy symbol emblazoned across it. I feel speed is what we needed more than heavy armor at the moment, or I would have gladly donned it.

I also may have hesitated because I think it looked like that sort of think Auriel would have liked. I feel like I remember him mentioning he intended to get something similar to this at some point. Or maybe that’s just me projecting. I don’t know.

Anyways.

After that was done we cleaned up the museum, in which we found an adamantine morningstar of all things. Would have been useful for that door earlier. We gave it to Luna. Adamantine with her strength will be useful I’m certain.

With everything cleaned up and Radiance a bit quieter, we decided to head up to the second floor.

The second floor was almost blood bath. I…kind of don’t remember a lot of the fight that happened here. It was a blur, and I went down a few times. A lot of times. They really had it out for me. For obvious reasons, I was the only Iomedaen in the room. And possibly because of the accursed mark on my arm, who knows? What I do know is, we got upstairs. Melody got besieged on all sides, and the moment one of the tiefling cultists died, we heard the voice of the oracle. And she summoned a swarm of locusts from the tiefling’s body, which attacked Melody on his death, badly injurying her with negative energy. I ended up running in and putting myself in between her and some of the other enemies with the intention of drawing some attention away from her. Which worked. Unfortunately it worked a little too well. I got swarmed by tieflings and Deskari cultists, and when Melody or Heskaria killed one the oracle would cause the locust swarms to pull the life from me. I went in and out of consciousness more than a few times here. I was lucky the Commander was here. She and Hiskaria kept me alive. Between Commander Tirabade’s lay on hand’s and Hiskaria’s wand of cure moderate wounds she’d picked up somewhere along the way. I definitely owed her one. I guess as her ‘acting captain’ I’m putting in a few good words for her for sure at this point.

When the swarm of enemies died down, we began looking around a bit more. We found a room with a bowl of water and—viscera—with zombies milling about. We took care of them with literally no issue. Radiance once again began insisting on immediately consecrating the room, and I once again told them that we needed to wait until we knew there was nothing nastier on this floor after what we’d just dealt with, if the oracle could reach out through her followers up here. Radiance didn’t like that answer, but conceded that it was my choice either way. Good. Maybe Luna was onto something with putting my foot down with them.

Melody was standing near a door looking a bit spooked, and as I approached she quietly told me something was on the other side talking in her mind. She described it, and I reasoned out that it was a Schir demon due to the sound of gnawing on metal she heard. We decided to let Luna go in first, as it was probably prepared but to my knowledge they couldn’t see those who were invisible. So she downed another potion and slipped inside, getting a good stab at him before he could react. Unfortunately, he proved a bit more damaging than expected, and we heard Luna calling for someone to help her out. I was planning to join her, since demon slaying is kind of my specialty. But then something else burst from the door behind me. A strange chimera creature. Not a demon, but an evil intelligent beast working with them. A peryton. The creature bared its fanged in something between a smile and a snarl as it greeted me, before lashing out, knocking me against the wall and dashing any hope of me going to Luna’s aid.

Fortunately, both Melody and Commander Tirabade were able to help Luna, while Hiskaria put some arrows into the creature attacking me. The Commander apparently killed the demon, then Luna charged out of the room and with a single swing of her axe beheaded the peryton.

The rest of the floor was so easily cleared out I legitimately don’t even remember what the creatures in the last room were. Some kind of insect or spider that caused darkness, but Luna was able to cast light due to her aasimar bloodline and dispel it. I blocked the doorway to protect Melody and let Hiskaria and Melody take shots at them until I was hurting too badly to continue that tactic, then stepped aside for Luna the clean up the rest.

After that was done, Luna began going through some papers that she had seen the cultists looking over before. I began clearing out the room the zombies had been in that Radiance had reacted to. And the others began checking the other rooms for anything that might be useful or important.

After I cleared and purified the water in the bowl it became immediately obvious that it was a scrying dish, as it activated on its own. It had two things to show me. First, was Leto and Commander Spriggans. They were in the middle of the demon hordes, separated from their unit. They were fighting valiantly, and they didn’t look worse for the wear at the moment. But with their positioning, I knew if I called the retreat now, they might get left behind. They might end up stuck behind enemy lines. Or worse, overwhelmed and killed.

Before I had time to process that, a second vision was granted. This one a bit closer to where we were. It was of the oracle, upstairs. She was panicking. Pacing, muttering to herself “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck”, terrified of how quickly we were tearing through her forces, of how quickly we were making our way to her and undoing all her work. The angle of the scry then panned out, showing me the room outside, allowing me to see the fiendish minotaur guarding the door to her chambers. It gave me a good idea of what we were going to be facing when we went up there. It was a tiny room to be dealing with such a large creature, not much room to maneuver. Not much room to get Luna into a flanking position.

But more importantly, we’d been planning to call the retreat after this floor. Because we were all exhausted. We were low on magic. We were low on healing. We were hurting. But if we did that, we were going to put Leto and Commander Spriggans in danger.

I had to make a call. Retreat. Put the mission and the people in front of me first and risk Leto. Or push forward, risk everything so I could try to bring everyone back safe. Assuming I didn’t get everyone killed doing so.

I was paralyzed with indecision.

The others were talking about various things they’d found. A list of traitors here and elsewhere, which was useful. Some other things I honestly was too distracted at the time to really process. Then Luna started talking about how we ought to head out if we were going to call the retreat and get back to Defender’s heart, since we were getting tired. Melody and Hiskaria agreed.

I stopped them. I told them to wait. I explained I’d seen something in the scrying room, and I explained what I’d seen and why it was a problem for retreating. But also why not retreating was a problem.

Luna said she didn’t give a damn, and said on the count of three everyone raise their hand who voted to keep going. All three of them did.

I—was speechless. I am not so proud as to think they did not understand how much of a risk they were taking pushing forward. They knew how much they were risking, and what they were doing, to keep Leto safe. A man they’ve barely even met once, but who they knew was important to me.

I owe them. More than I can begin to repay. But I am going to start, as best I can.

After I finished cleansing the second floor, we made our plan for how to deal with the third. We knew that the oracle was not at her best. We also knew how the minotaur’s room was laid out. We decided to use this to our advantage. There wasn’t much room to maneuver—not even enough for us to bring our ranger companions along, we had them watch our backs and stay on the second floor—but there was just enough to possibly get Luna in behind him if we played our cards right.

Luna drank another invisibility potion, and crept ahead of us. We waited for half a minute, then followed, with Melody in the lead. The plan was for her to lure the beast forward, as she was the only one with a weapon that could reach as far as the minotaur’s. She would stand in the stairwell and taunt the beast until it charged her, then Luna would step behind it and attack the moment its back was no longer to the door.

The plan worked. It worked exactly like we’d planned. Except for one problem. I didn’t see it for myself, I was still in the stairwell. But I heard about it afterwards. When the beast began to lumber forward, Luna stepped in to attack. She landed a devastating blow, drawing her axe up from the bottom of its spine to its neck. The creature stopped, and swung around, and its own axe swung into Luna. The fiendish creature put a smite into the blow, and its full strength behind it. With a single swing, Luna crumpled. I didn’t see the attack, but I saw the end result. There was blood everywhere.

Commander Tirabade charged in, and ended the beast’s life in a single final stroke, Luna having nearly ended it with her single blow. This left the room clear for Hiskaria to run in and use her wand to heal Luna back to her feet, and Melody to finish getting her back up. By the time I reached her, she looked good as new, if not a little shaken or perhaps just displeased that her blow hadn’t killed the beast outright. There was blood splattered across everything.

I really owe Luna after all this is over, with how close that was.

Then Luna suggested we do that again for the next room. We went to argue. I wondered if maybe she’d taken some head trauma on top of the axe wound. But she pointed out that technically the plan worked fine—she’d just gotten unlucky with the minotaur’s axe. She was pretty sure the same wouldn’t happen a second time with this panicky oracle. And this time we’d all be right outside the door.

I hated to admit it, but the plan had worked pretty well. And getting Luna in the room and flanking the oracle would be the best way to ensure she went down quickly. So we all agreed. Luna drank another potion and vanished, then we opened the door.

The oracle laughed manically when she saw us, her eyes wild and desperate. She was a twisted disgusting thing, her form warped into some sort of half-elf/locust combination by Deskari’s magic. I wouldn’t have even recognized her as a fellow half-elf myself if Luna hadn’t said something earlier when one of us was describing her. I am glad that the taint that this mark on my arm has left on me has done no such thing, I much prefer my face and arm as they are thank you.

The oracle—whose name I felt no particular urge to memorize, my apologies, I think it would have galled her to know she wasn’t that important—warned us to stay back. She asked where Luna was, to which Melody claimed that she’d been killed by the minotaur. One look at the bloodied room seemed to be enough to convince her of the truth of that, as she laughed in our faces at our folly. She motioned, and two portals appeared. What appeared to be two babau demons appeared, with Leto and Commander Spriggans held hostage. She warned that she would have them killed if we didn’t retreat and let her finish her work.

I…admit to not thinking straight here. I froze. Obviously, I knew we couldn’t just throw down our arms, not when so many lives were at stake with the wardstone right there. But I also wasn’t about to throw my brother and commander to the wolves.

Thankfully, Melody was much more clear-sighted than I. She ran forward, and attacked one of the supposed demons. The illusion around them flickered and vanished, revealing the truth underneath. Two constructs, which had created the illusory demons—and the illusions of Leto and Commander Spriggans, who were not there at all.

I was incensed at the trickery. I realized then that the desecrated scrying chamber had very likely been to look for someone one of us cared about to use against us, and she had chosen Leto. This kind of construct could only be used with an illusion preprogrammed into it—which meant they knew what to put in ahead of time, and someone elsewhere had put it in and sent it over. The constructs had the holy symbol of Sivanah emblazoned on them, so it seemed someone within their church was responsible. According to Luna, it was Lady Salzala. I’m inclined to believe her. Apparently, the mummified locust with the book she stole the day we met was addressed to her as well, so a lot of things keep pointing back in her direction. Commander Tirabade said she left with a contingent of her men on ‘business’ after the attack, so it would appear she fled the scene.

Unfortunately, her name was not amongst the ones in the documents Luna found naming traitors, so we lack any further evidence, although the Commander is going to look into it further.

With the bluff called, we attacked. Luna appeared as she swung her axe at the twisted locust oracle. Both Luna and the oracle looked surprised for a moment, I didn’t catch what either said, but then the oracle used a spell to teleport across the room.

While Melody and I focused on her and Luna dealt with the constructs that had flanked her, Hiskaria had a different idea in mind. She swung around, avoiding the fight entirely, and pulled out the rod of cancellation we’d been given to destroy the Wardstone. We were here to do a job, and she was going to make sure it got done, one way or another.

The oracle cried out, but it was too late. Hiskaria pushed past whatever last defenses the final piece of the wardstone may have had, and it shattered in a blinding flash. Shards rained down around us like meteors in miniature. They ripped the oracle and her constructs to shreds, but miraculously the rest of us were untouched—whenever they came near us, they redirected, whooshing around as if we had our own little gravity field and then being thrown in another direction.

Then everything went white. Me, Luna, Melody, and Hiskaria found ourselves in this place alone, Commander Tirabade was nowhere to be seen. Radiance floated before us, pulsing with energy, their blade face down. They spoke, and as they did we began to see visions of what they spoke of. Visions of things past. Of how the Wardstone came to be. Of Commander Tirabade and Stauton Vhagn…apparently former friends, before his betrayal. Of the Stormlord’s first attack on the Wardstone, and then Stauton’s betrayal and escape from the city. And then the most recent attack on the stone, the one that shattered it and brought us together. The attack that killed Trendalor—we know for certain now that the city’s defender is dead, his body stolen away by demons. And then we saw various demons guarding the stone, each powerful entity growing bored with their post and handing it off to one below them, until finally it fell to the oracle, who paced the room fearfully, knowing what would happen to her should she fail at our hands.

Then we saw what was supposed to happen next. The fate that we avoided. The time that was meant to come to pass, but didn’t. Arelu Vorlesh stepped from a portal with a purple crystal in hand, and began corrupting the Wardstone. And she succeeded. Dark tendrils spread through the land, they infected the crusaders through their connection to the divine within the Wardstone, and it twisted and warped them all into half-fiend monstrosities under Deskari’s power. Deskari’s army grew into a force all that more unstoppable, bolstered by our own men whose lives and souls were ripped away all at once.

Then the vision shattered, and we saw what had happened when we shattered the Wardstone instead. A great wave of golden energy swept across the land, destroying countless demons in its wake. Not obliterating their forces, unfortunately—more will come crawling from the Worldwound in the days to come, but it’s still a mighty blow that should buy us some time to regroup after what they did to Kenabres. A nice bit of divine retribution for those who have died.

Radiance spoke to us again. Or, the Spirit of the Hall of Heroes. I couldn’t quite tell if this was the exact same being as the one who spoke to me through the blade. I do recall Radiance referring to themself as the Spirit of the Hall of Heroes before, so likely the same? Radiance is less of a mouthful and easier to write, though. Maybe just ‘The Spirit’ for now, to avoid confusion, because I still had a version of Radiance to use in what was to come as well.

The Spirit drew a glowing blade of light from what had appeared to be Radiance’s blade, and pointed it at us. They told us to show them that we were worthy of the power to defy fate itself. Then they took the form of a man wielding a polearm and the form of a crystalline phoenix formed before them. And flames erupted around us.

Hiskaria did what she does best and peppered him with arrows. I patched myself up with some quick healing and tried to come in for an attack, but their form shifted again, this time into a tiefling man with a large hexagonal shield and he blocked my blow. However since I was harrying them, Luna was about to come around behind him and get a blow of her own off with her axe. Their form shifted to a human woman with a similar axe in an attempt to block, but Luna’s attack managed to get through. Then the spirit’s form shattered. They reformed their crystalline body farther in the white void—now an elven woman with a bow, and began shooting off rapid deadly arrow shots at us that made Hiskaria’s already deadly aim look like a child’s shooting.

We went with the same tactic as before, with Hiskaria shooting from afar, Melody charging in with her glaive, myself healing and sweeping in to flank with Luna, and finally Luna dealing a crippling blow to the crystalline Spirit. The being’s form shattered, underneath was a second form, somewhat like an elven man in appearance, although still made of crystal, holding a staff with twisting gears, the only part of them not crystalline. They tapped the staff, and everything was tugged backwards, returned to how it had been when the fight had first begun. The Spirit sheathed their blade. They asked each of us in turn what we were fighting for, and in turn each of us gave our personal answer.

For me…the answer’s always been the same. I want to protect people. To defend those who are less powerful from the demons, be it with a shield or at the end of a blade.

The Spirit acknowledged us as worthy of the power that had fallen into our laps—and as such they were going to return us to that moment in time, and, as he put it, ‘allow you the power you were nearly denied’.

I found myself back in the moment when the Wardstone was exploding. Shards were flying everywhere. This time, however, a piece hit me, square in the chest. Unlike the oracle and her constructs, it didn’t tear me apart. Instead, an energy flowed through every part of my being, all at once. Through my body, my blood, and my very soul. The other three experienced the same.

We didn’t have time to talk about it, or to wonder at it. As the explosion died down, a portal opened before us. One we’d already seen once before, in a vision, mere moments ago. What felt like mere moments ago, in that white void. Out stepped Arelu Vorlesh, one of Deskari’s generals, in the flesh. She was holding that same purple crystal that she’d had in the vision. She commented on the fact that we’d destroyed the Wardstone that she’d intended to use—but that its power lived on within us, and she would just have to corrupt us instead. Then she activated the crystal. There was a terrible sensation, like something cold and oily trying to take hold of my soul. Commander Tirabade charged Vorlesh, but she cast a spell that began to suffocate her, and she went unconscious in moments. Apparently it was meant to hit all of us, but the Wardstone’s power had protected us. Unfortunately its power was not protecting us from the purple crystal’s power, and we were frozen to the spot. I…was certain we were done for.

Then a blue hand reached out through Vorlesh’s portal. A light from Radiance’s crystal streaked out through her and into that being’s hand. Something was cast, and Arelu Vorlesh was left badly injured, and we were freed. Vorlesh fled. We didn’t ever get a good look at the other being.

Radiance has been silent since.

I can’t say for certain. But I think Auriel saved us. Some piece of his soul. Some version of him. I don’t know. It’s the only explanation I have. That light was in Radiance because of Auriel’s soul, so if it went to that being, it had to have been. Somehow. I know that’s weirdly optimistic of me. I’m not the sort to cling to thinking people spontaneously come back from the dead, especially people whose souls shatter on death. But—I mean Auriel was literally the Chosen One. If anyone was going to come back, right?

Anyways, Radiance doesn’t talk to me anymore. Or can’t, more likely, just like the whole ‘can’t choose Irabeth over you’ thing. But they haven’t flayed my hands, either. I think the whole ‘breaking fate’ thing means I’m able to bend the rules on the whole chosen one thing. Or maybe having a little divine power from the wardstone’s what did it. Who knows. I’m glad. If I’m honest, I’ve gotten a little attached. As much as they’ve gotten on my nerves and the whole ‘flay you alive’ thing pissed me off, I’m actually kind of sad that I can’t hear them now. For one thing, it was the last little connection to Auriel we had. I have no idea if they can hear me or if they’re in some kind of hibernation now. I’ve still been talking to them a bit. Like a crazy person, yeah, yeah.

Anyways, it wasn’t over with Vorlesh leaving. She decided to leave a parting gift. A whole swarm of babau demons. Real ones, not a bunch of illusions over constructs. Babaus are quite a bit stronger than the dretches and vermleks we’d been fighting. Under any other circumstances, we’d have definitely been overwhelmed and killed by a swarm of eight of them.

Instead, they couldn’t even touch us. I mean it, there wasn’t a scratch on us when we left. We completely overpowered these demons that should have easily outclassed us. The wardstone’s powers completely suffused our every action, everything we did seemed to be at the most perfect it could be. I cannot begin to describe to you how it feels to completely annihilate demons that should be such fearsome foes without risking going into territory that may start sounding like It’s bordering blasphemy, so I think I’ll reel it back a bit.

Afterwards, we healed the Commander, and began making our way back to Defender’s Heart. On the way, Hiskaria told us that apparently the very supportive voice in her head was apparently her goddess, Cassandalee. I’d never heard of her before, but Melody had. She was apparently more of a Numerian goddess, one of love, redemption, artifice, and good. Strange that she hadn’t gotten bigger in the 300 years she’s been around if redemption’s in her portfolio since there’s been a big need for that all things considered, since Valoria didn’t pick that up from Sarenrae. But I suppose since her main followers are apparently androids maybe she wasn’t really able to spread much outside her home base, so to speak.

Then the others decided to start hounding me as we walked back. I thought it would be about my arm, considering that seemed like the most pressing thing to ask about. But no. Apparently Luna and Melody had gotten it into their heads that Leto and I are an item. Really! I tried vehemently to correct them, that they really had the wrong idea, that we grew up together and I think of him more like a brother, but for whatever reason they still seem really unconvinced. Maybe if I send them Leto’s way he can talk some sense into them. No. He’ll probably just get them more wound up and release them back on me for the laughs. I tried to get Hiskaria to try to talk some sense into them, but she said since Cassandalee is a goddess of love she felt like it was now her sworn duty to not get in the way of this kind of talk. So now I have a Shelynite and Hiskaria to deal with about this kind of thing. Great!

Anyways. With the demons destroyed by the shockwave, there was no reason to worry about Leto and Commander Spriggans’ safety anymore. I’ll tell Leto about these shenanigans some other day. Tonight, I’m too exhausted to even think about going down there and drinking. Sleep. Sleep sounds good.

#journal entry #pathfinder #pathfinder wotr #pathfinder wotr spoilers #draven imani

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spookyspaghettisundae · 3 years

Text

Steele Resolve

Over 300 billion years into the future.

"Get out," Dallas told Darkwing.

He eyed her suspiciously, then she shoved him—captain of this ship—out of his very own cabin. Punching the control button by the door, the panel slid shut in between them in a flash, shutting out both him and the glaring light from the corridor.

She stifled a laugh as the hypersteel barrier muffled his yapping—something about being a living god, among other things, rattling on as he audibly turned and wandered away, babbling all the way to the Avian's cockpit.

Dallas waited till he was far enough away, then listened at the door even longer. Ensuring she heard no signs of the cat, the psychotic robot, that disgusting engineer, or—most importantly—the girl.

The ship's star-drive churned, causing all surfaces to subtly vibrate while it steadily propelled the combat vessel through space. It meshed with the rushing of blood in her ears. Her eyes adjusted to the dim light in the cabin, generated only by arrays of glowing buttons, some of them steady, others blinking.

Half a minute felt long enough.

She slid into the swiveling chair that was bolted down onto the floor in front of a quantum entanglement communicator terminal.

The assassin tilted her head back and forth and her neck cracked both times.

With the routine of a spy, she slung out her trusty old ballistic revolver, flicked a concealed switch with her thumb, and slapped the archaic weapon against an open palm.

Then—again. And a third time.

A scrambler chip clicked out of the gun's grip.

She slipped it out and quickly inserted it into one of the terminal's slots. Tapped the power buttons and fired up the device.

The soft blue glow of the screen in front of her illuminated the entire dark chamber she sat alone in. A sigh of impatience escaped her as she awaited the loading bars of the chip's overrides to reach completion on-screen and guarantee her the use of a secure channel.

Meanwhile, a window popped up, listing all recent encrypted text messages she had received from her contacts over the course of the past time units. One of the message subjects read, "DIE BITCH", sent by a certain "Dragon." Many others reflected the bridges she had recently burned and flattered her with other colorful threats and creative insults. Fueled by professional pride, and mixed with a newfound sense of liberty, she smiled to herself and dismissed the entire window with a languid swipe.

Clickety-clackety-clickety-clackety—

Her fingers hacked away at the keyboard with an uncanny speed and precision. Hit the key to transmit with excessive force, a sound of polymers and metal snapping together that cut through the quiet, stale air of the captain's cabin.

Her heart began to race as she awaited response. The ensuing seconds dragged on like molasses, even if they were only few.

A screen, cropped out within the screen, flicked open and displayed a sea of static. The silhouette of her handler turned visible, emerging from within the visual noise, but never fully surfacing in full definition. Masked behind a helmet that emitted an ominous cross-shaped red glow, cast in shadows by a hood.

An agent of the Holy Lahasan Empire.

"Steele? You now also owe me some explanations," said her handler on the other end of the connection, that shadowy silhouette speaking to her from far across the galaxy, distorted by the distance and dampened by the mask.

Dallas leaned back into the chair, unknowingly sinking into it like the many times that the captain had done before, sinking into a spell of deeper contemplation.

She clicked her tongue and finally replied, "Things did not go quite as planned. There were some—complications."

"According to my intel, Agent Reeve was disintegrated in a blast caused by archaic explosives."

Dallas' mien darkened, turning into a frown. "All due respect, but Rourke was an asshole, and—"

"With all due respect, your personal opinions need to leave, exiting through the nearest airlock right now. Not only are you living on borrowed time for your treason against the Empress, but you have a jarring track record of valuable agents dropping dead around you."

"That sounds like your problem, not mine."

The handler's voice dropped in volume, slowed down to a grim crawl. "You remember the cortex bomb I had implanted in your spine, right?"

She scowled at the screen, unable to find any eye contact, instead focusing on the red glow of the cross.

"Come on, I'm too valuable to you. You wanted the best tracker in the universe, which is why you pulled me out of cryo-prison."

"And I am constantly re-evaluating that decision."

Dallas held her tongue. Her chin jutted out and she fidgeted in her seat until her fingers encountered the calming cool of the stainless-steel surface of the old lighter, hidden in her pocket.

"Moving on. Report your progress on retrieving subject K70001-34966."

Dallas decided to play it cool.

She had to play her cards right.

"What a mouthful. We are talking about some girl. Don't you wanna abbreviate that name a bit?"

"No."

Hesitating to answer, she patted her jacket down until she retrieved a palm-sized silvered case from another pocket. She pressed a button on it, and it clicked—also analog and mechanical—triggering its finely-engraved lid to swing open.

Removing a thin cigar from the other three inside it, she lit it up, puffed a few times, and then blew a mouthful of smoke towards the QEC's monitor. The agent awaited her response, but she regained some confidence just in the thought that constantly tested his patience to the point of annoying him.

He had to put up with her.

Threats aside, she was, in fact, the best woman for the job.

"I've gotten pretty damn close. I think it's a matter of weeks, or even days now."

"Be more precise," growled the handler.

"Look, I found out how she's getting around, alright? By stowing away on other people's ships. I'm closely on her trail now. We almost had her too! Sadly, for Rourke, he got killed in that explosion by some idiot that had nothing to do with the job. There was a shootout at this place on—"

"Most of that was in the report. Share more pertinent details, or get to the point," he ordered.

"It's just a matter of time till I can bring her in."

Now he remained silent, processing her meager report. It must have been better than nothing.

"You had best not disappoint. You know we—"

"Yes, yes. Borrowed time."

He said nothing.

Dallas' nostrils flared, blowing smoke out of them.

She squinted and smirked, then asked, "I offed Youssell for you like you requested, right? That wasn't exactly on the books, was it?"

This time, the agent failed to respond.

"Right, and now you're having me track down and retrieve some kid that you lost in the first place."

Though the hood, and helmet, and eerie mask with its cross-shaped glow fully concealed his face, she could practically hear him gritting his teeth as he replied, "Because of your meddling, Steele."

"Well, you have to agree that it's a bit—uh, how to put this—a bit outside of my usual expertise to find people and get them back alive. So, you'll have to kindly stick a thumb up your ass while you wait and give me some time to improvise and succeed. I mean, you do want the kid alive, right?"

More silence followed. Dallas blew more smoke at the monitor, wishing she could be blowing it into his face.

"So, my word—you're getting her alive—or you'll find me as a corpse floating through open space. That is a promise. But if you want this to work out, you'll have to trust me." Saying that, her smirk widened as she feigned every ounce of confidence she could put on display.

With an abrupt flash, the screen within the screen winked out of existence, and the static noise from the scrambled transmission went dead. The handler had ended the communication without giving Dallas any further notice.

"Oh, my. Lovely. Fuck you too, Prince Charming."

She basked in the cold blue glow of the terminal's screen and puffed some more from her slender cigar. She tried to focus on thoughts about how to proceed—of where to go from here. But instead of finding clear ideas and reaching decisive plans of action—something she was usually adept at—pesky memories kept welling up instead.

Thoughts also regularly circled back to the cortex bomb implanted in her spine, but the older memories eventually overshadowed them.

* * *

"I will not ask you again," said the inquisitor.

His hand crept towards a button on the wall outside the cell.

The girl trapped inside, identified on the monitor next to the white energy barrier as "Delinquent K70001-34966", drooled and writhed on the cold metal floor of that cell. She did not respond to the inquisitor's threat.

He pushed the button once more, causing the girl on the floor of the cell to convulse under waves upon waves of searing pain that washed over her, illuminated by bright yellow, crackling energy. Each surge of electrical discharges caused her to spasm until she threw up. Then she collapsed again, one cheek resting in the tiny pool of vomit. Covered in sweat, she lay there, curled up in a pathetic and helpless heap.

This was the umpteenth time that he had used the interrogation interface to torment the young woman trapped within.

The shock trooper standing guard by the inquisitor looked on in disbelief. Her gaze bounced back and forth in between the inquisitor standing outside the cell, coldly and callously operating this abominable torture device; and the helpless young woman who groaned pitifully as she twitched on the floor of her cell, not once having answered his questions, and not once having begged for mercy.

"I missed the memo on the M.O. of how you handle these things. But it's far from palatable," the guard said to the inquisitor.

The masked inquisitor turned to confront the assassin posing as a guard.

"Memo? Palatable? What the devil are you blathering on about?"

VLA-VLAM!

The barrel of the energy rifle in the hands of the false guard glowed.

She had shot the inquisitor twice in quick succession.

One to the chest to send him reeling, the other to the head to take him out.

To her chagrin, his masked helmet with the glowing red cross emblazoned on its front had absorbed some of the shock from the energy weapon, and he stumbled backwards, reeling—but still quite alive.

Damned energy weapons, Dallas Steele thought to herself, encased in the hijacked power armor of the guard. And this was why you can only count on ballistics, she thought next, even though time had slowed to a crawl.

He was too slow on the uptake though, too slow to raise his weapon and retaliate in time. She jacked up her weapon's cadence with a flick of her wrist, unloading a full salvo into his center mass.

VA-VA-VA-VA-VLAM!

The inquisitor collapsed into a lifeless body in the narrow corridor outside the holding cell, the metal of his armor clanked against the hard floor.

She approached him, poked him with the muzzle of her rifle, and confirmed on her helmet's HUD that his vital signs were bottoming out.

Next, she punched the cell barrier controls. The white force field between her and the girl flickered, then it dissipated entirely.

Hunching down over the young woman inside the cell and holding out an armored hand in offering to help her get back up on her feet, she simply commanded, "Get up."

K70001-34966 took her hand, trembling, feeble, and weakened. The false agent helped the young woman limp along through the narrow corridors, using the powered armor's strength enhancements to effortlessly brace the girl's entire weight as she stumbled alongside her.

A voice crackled, coming in over the false guard's armor-integrated headset, "Agent Heinlein, report in. We registered a weapons discharge in the holding area, and Inquisitor Valstrum is not responding. His vital signs are tanking. What the hell is going on back there?"

"Uh, it was some sort of, uhm, equipment malfunction," Not-Agent-Heinlein lied through her helm's intercom. "Investigating it right now."

"We registered seven discharges and you are moving from your post. What kind of—"

"Factory code zero-zero-zero," she quickly talked over the operator, cutting the communication off with a hard reset of her intercom, and shutting him out.

She dragged the girl along as she picked up the pace.

K70001-34966 was pretty out of it. Drooling, bare heels sliding with squeaks over sleek metal floors.

The dozen or more shocks must have rendered her groggy. No matter—she had nothing to do with the mission anyway. Dallas just had to take a moment to silence that pesky consciousness that was knocking on the mental door, begging to be let in from the prison inside the back of her head.

Once they had reached an emergency escape pod, Dallas shoved the girl inside, causing her to tumble forward and fall back down onto the floor, not unlike she had been in the holding cell. Leaving her no time to recover, the false guard shuttered the docking mechanism and ejected the pod. For a brief few seconds, she saw the girl looking back at her helmet-clad face, going wide-eyed with surprise. A jet of steam shot in between them, obscuring that glimpse.

The next moment, the angular pod jettisoned off at breakneck speed as its boosters activated and it shot off into space, hurtling towards a thriving terrestrial planet pockmarked with a brightly lit complex of clustered urban zones. And all around it, the Sea of Stars.

The intercom in the hallway crackled, whined, and then the operator shouted at her over it, "There will be a court martial—"

VA-VA-VA-VLAM!

Four shots had ripped through the corridor and caused the exposed intercom console to explode into a shower of sparks and fizzing.

The false guard ripped her helmet off in annoyance. Her face was covered in a sheen of sweat.

This job was a bust. She would have to cover her tracks. She would have to kill every single person left on this ship.

As two scout troopers rounded the corner, Dalla popped out of cover to greet them with bursts of hyper-charged plasma shots, cleanly removing the head of one of them in the first burst, and ripping the other apart, cleaving his upper body from the rest of him.

One of them had reflexively shot back with a salvo of his own. The powered armor could only absorb so much impact and energy.

Her leg and ribs throbbed, she coughed and grinned and mostly gritted her teeth to ignore the waves of pain, surging from those uncomfortably hot spots, wondering for a moment if it was worse than what the girl had gone through.

Dallas limped away through the claustrophobic corridors. Her breathing had turned raspy. A maniacal laugh emerged from her throat, ending in a hacking cough.

She had never fucked up a job this badly. She was a killer, sure—but she had some rules. Some principles.

No kids.

That was her only condition.

Why did they have to be torturing a kid aboard of this damned transporter? She wanted to kill the guy who had fixed her up with this "milk run".

Her vision blurred. Next, she coughed, blood splattered on the panel by the door. She punched the controls, it slid shut in a flash. She limped away, towards the droning and deafening noises emitted by the engine core.

Tried to make sense of the engineering console and all its blinking lights and inane strings of letters and numbers that said rather little to a woman of her trade.

The outlines of the blast door glowed brightly as someone tried to force the doorway open, using a fusion cutter, from the other side. Trying desperately to get inside to stop their murderous stowaway from sabotaging their star-drive.

Dallas gave up in her failed effort at trying to override the engine's security protocols.

She aimed the plasma rifle at a set of power couplings, closed her eyes and turned her head away. Pulled the trigger.

VA-VA-VA-VA-VA-VA-VA-VA-VA-VLAM!

Sparks and metal pieces flew all over the place, causing her to flinch.

The weapon not only glowed, but steam also rose from its barrel now.

"Critical system failure," a monotonous computer voice announced over the ship's intercom speakers. It continued to repeat the warning, over and over again. The bright white lights went out, replaced by red lights rhythmically rotating and casting everything in an eerie state of emergency.

A revolving alarm sound began to bleat, piercing Dallas' already throbbing skull. The edges of her eyesight blurred, closing in quickly.

They got inside, but the next moments turned into a haze.

A rush of unfiltered instinct—killer instinct. A perfect storm of honed reflexes, augmentations, and pure skill. A ballet of carnage.

Three more bodies hit the floor, clanking, and clattering, and groaning. One of them even yelled for his mother before she snuffed him out with a sudden stomp from her armored boot.

She remembered leaving bloody handprints whenever she pushed herself off the walls of the corridor, methodically making her way back to the escape pods, locking each and every blast door behind her as she progressed, shutting out the sounds of pursuers, of troopers in powered armor chasing her through the transporter's winding hallways.

Just before she lost consciousness, she remembered seeing the ship shrink. Smaller and smaller, as the escape pod she had jettisoned herself with flew farther and farther away from the imperial transporter.

Only moments after the vessel transformed into bright explosions and space debris within the blink of an eye, her eyelids weighed a million tons and she blacked out.

The next thing she remembered, she was on some forsaken planet's surface with a breathable atmosphere, staring down the barrels of high-powered pulse rifles of MilSec soldiers, surrounded by Imperial attachés.

They already had her wrists wreathed in the purple glow of energy shackles, lifting her up and dragging her off, taking her into custody.

"Hello, boys," she said, groaning, then cackling until it was clipped off by her pained coughing.

Unbeknownst to her then, her future handler stood there, amid the attachés. The ominous red cross glowed from the front of his masked helmet as he watched the grunts do the heavy lifting, peeling her out of the damaged suit of armor and confirming that the emergency gel would prevent her from dying.

At this point in time, she did not know him yet, but he recognized her. Had seen her mugshot as a wanted criminal more than once.

Looking back, she knew. In that moment, he already formulated plans for her.

But first, she had to go into cryo. After that, installing the bomb in her spine would follow.

—Submitted by Wratts

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mikkomacko · 4 years

Text

In The Shadows 2

Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n wishes she was more outspoken. As much as she'd love to be able to say whatever she's think or feeling, she can't. She's always been more of an observer rather than a contributor. That's why her and Jess get along so well. It's never really bothered her before, at least not to the point of tears, but as Jess smiles and motions to the girls-sorority girls-behind her, y/n really thinks she can cry.

"This is my way in Y/n!" Jess quietly squeals, throwing her purse over her shoulder. "We can read together any other time, yeah? But it's not always that Tina Walt invites you to go shopping with her, right?"

Y/n's lip tries to wobble, so she quickly forces a smile. "Of course, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity."

Jess practically leaps into the air, leaving her copy of The Great Gatsby on the bench as she throws an arm around y/n's shoulder. "You're the best! I'll see you later!"

She's gone before y/n can even say bye, skipping over to the group of girls she so desperately wants to be a part of. Y/n takes Jess' book in her hands, staring at the cover blankly. She's not really sure what to do. In the all the years they've been friends, Jess has never missed out on important things like book club. She's never picked anyone else over y/n. And it stings. Really badly.

She's taking deep, slow breaths, as she stands up from the bench and slips her backpack on when the best possible person stops her.

"Hey peanut, whatcha doing?"

Harry comes up behind her, and she quickly blinks away her tears before turning to look at him. "Just heading home." She says, awkwardly shifting the books in her hands. Harry glances down at them, eyebrows pinching together when he sees she's carrying two copies.

"What about ya book group?"

"Book club," she corrects softly, "and uh, Jess had to go." Y/n nudges her head in the direction her best friend took off in. She looks over, seeing the girls still walking across the courtyard towards the sorority houses.

"With Tina?" Harry asks, incredulously. "She chose Tina over the great adventures of..." he leans in closer, taking a peak at the book cover, "Gatsby? No taste in that one, I swear."

Despite the heaviness in her stomach, y/n giggles, reaching up to rub her eye because a little drop of water is trying to sneak out. Harry grins proudly, running a hand through his hair before returning it to the pocket of his Green Bay hoodie. Y/n looks over him, an endeared smile taking over her lips when her eyes move from his skinny jeans to the brown boots on his feet. She remembers when the only shoes he owned were either TOMS or low-top Converse.

"Who needs to read it when you've seen the movie, right?" Y/n jokes quietly, even though the words are like salt in a wound. Her and Jess watched the movie once, and Jess loved it so much it was her idea to read the book.

"I've never seen nor read it." Harry admits, shrugging. "S'it a good read?"

Y/n nods, moving her hands when he reaches for the top one. She watches him inspect the cover and then turn it over to read the back, eyes squinting a bit as he focuses. She wonders if he does that in concentration or maybe he has a hard time seeing the little letters.

"I'll read it with ya." He finally says, tucking the little book into his hoodie pocket. "Have ya already started it?"

Eyes wide, she shakes her head. "N-no today was the first uh-you really want to read it?"

Harry chuckles at her surprise. "Believe it or not, I do read peanut." Y/n smiles sheepishly. Of course she knows he reads, she just wasn't expecting him to want to read with her.

"Come on, book group at my house. I've got pizza rolls!"

Before she even think about what she's doing, y/n is walking by his side towards the frat house, grateful for Harry. If she hadn't bumped into him just now, she would've spent the walk home holding back tears, and the rest of the day trying to read through blearily eyes.

The frat house isn't so bad to be at when there's not a raging crowd of college students and alcohol on every available surface. It's actually fairly quiet, the occasional sound of Niall yelling reaching theirs ears, but for the most part, it's perfect for reading.

With the backyard empty, the only sound is the shuddering of leaves when a breeze comes through, and the shuffling when her or Harry turn a page of their books. They didn't decide on when to stop reading, and y/n's glad because she thinks she can stay here all day. Harry had brought out a large hammock from the camping supplies, tying the ropes between the posts on the porch, and they'd squished together. At first they had lied opposite ways, but after Harry shoved his sock clad toes into her neck for the sixth time they moved.

Harry had to stretch his arms out behind her head because it was too annoying that his elbow kept bumping hers. Now she just has to help him turn pages since he's only got one free hand. Y/n is nearing the end of chapter four when Harry sets his book down on his chest, breathing out a soft sigh. He doesn't speak, so she quickly finishes up the chapter before closing her book as well. She turns her head to look at him, eyes falling over the slope of his nose and the dip between his lips. After a moment, he finally speaks.

"Remember when we used to have sleepovers all the time?"

It's not what she was expecting to hear after reading The Great Gatsby, but she smiles fondly.

"Of course I do. We had them at least once a week."

Harry hums, eyes locked on the sky above. She wonders what he's thinking about, what made him recall the numerous sleepovers they had.

"Think that's what I missed most when I moved here." He said quietly, as if he's not exactly sure about the statement. "Sleeping on the living room floor. Always had to put ya between Jess and me 'cuz we would kick the fuck outta each other."

Y/n giggles, eyes fluttering shut. She can still see the glow of the tv in the room, and Harry sprawled out in a sleeping bag that was always bigger and fluffier than hers or Jess'. She remembers that he liked to tuck his face into his pillow or the top cover, burrowing until all that was visible was the mess of curls on his head. He always slept the complete opposite of Jess, who always slept on her back, hands on her tummy as if she were a recently petrified mummy.

It's funny that they would kick each other, because she only remembers being a squirmer when he sleeps. Maybe Jess only moved if he moved; a kick for a kick type of thing.

"Never kicked me," she finally says.

"Didn't need to kick ya," Harry replies, "you weren't the one sleeping like a bloody corpse."

She laughs at that, and it makes Harry chuckle too. "God, she's terrifying sometimes," he whispers, a secret between the two of them, "I used to think she didn't have a soul."

It's petty and dramatic of her, but y/n can't help but mumble, "I'm starting to think the same thing."

As soon as it leaves her lips she wants to take it back, even if her chest feels lighter for saying it. Her eyes snap open, alarmed and ready to take it back. Until she's met with Harry's soft gaze, eyes beckoning her to say whatever's on her mind.

"Oh," he simply says in a quiet breath.

"It's just, the past few weeks she's been so obsessed with Tina and her sorority, it's like I don't even exist anymore." It feels good to say, and Harry's still looking at her warmly, so she continues.

"I mean, I knew college was gonna kinda split us. Of course she's going to have different friends, we have different majors, but like....it seems like she got so many so fast and I'm still in the same place."

"And what place is that?" Harry asks, curious and genuine.

"Watching. I'm always watching. I'm watching her become the captain of the volleyball team, and the top lawyer on the mock trial team, and valedictorian, and now I'm watching her become the poster college girl while I'm sat on the bench with two copies of The Great Gatsby." She knows she sounds pathetic, but it's the truth.

"And me," Harry adds sincerely, "you've got me on that bench waiting for one of those copies."

Her heart beats in her throat at his words, and she thinks she might cry again, so she just shuts her eyes and wiggles closer to him until her nose is in his ribs. Harry's arm moves to cradle her head, fingers rubbing over her shoulder soothingly.

"Know m'her brother, and I know what it's like to be left in her shadow," Harry whispers, another secret for just them, "grew up in her bloody shadow. If you get lonely there, you can always come find me."

She moves her arm to hug him, smiling at how soft his hoodie feels under her palm, and she squeezes him in thanks. "It'll be us, then, just sat on a bench, huh?"

"Having book group of course."

"Book club."

"S'what I said peanut."

The next few weeks bring lots of changes to y/n's life. Jess officially decides she wants to pledge Tina's sorority, which y/n is kind of hurt about because they can't live together if Jess is living at a sorority house, but she refuses to be an unsupportive friend. She can live in the shadow, she reminds herself, because Harry will be there too. So she wishes Jess luck, and tries not to act too. annoyed when Jess leaves her during studying hours to go with some girls from the sorority, or when she stops having root beer floats with her because "these girls are all size ones." Y/n really doesn't want to ruin her best friend's dreams, even if they make her rude and a little shallow, so she ends up spending root beer floats night by herself. She can handle some alone time if it means Jess succeeds. After all, she was always alone before Jess showed up.

The final straw comes on a Saturday. It's grocery day, and the four girls all agreed last week that they'd take Jess' car to the store around 12 to buy food. That however, is not the case when y/n walks out to the kitchen, fully ready to go only to find a note on the fridge from Jess.

Had to drive the girls to the east side. Be home later! -Jx

Y/n can't help but scoff, fists clenching in anger. She snatches the note off the fridge, crumpling it and tossing it in the trash. Tia pokes her head into the kitchen, and if she notices how angry y/n is, she doesn't say.

"Jo and I are going out since Jess got busy. See ya later!"

She's once again on the verge of tears as she stomps back into her room, grabbing her phone and unlocking it. Her finger hovers over Jess' contact, ready to scream at her for ruining their plans, but she can't press it. Instead, she finds the contact belonging to Harry.

Hey Har, you busy?

His reply is almost instant.

No ma'am! What's up?

She can't help but smile, wiping at the few tears on her cheeks.

The shadows feeling lonely.

She wonders what he was up to, because he replies just as fast as the first text.

I'll get my hammock ready peanut :)

The clouds hang low, deep dark puffs in the sky that let y/n know it'll probably rain soon. Well, that and the smell of the rain. A sharp gust of wind blows in her face, making her eyes water and teeth chatter. She tightens the strings of her hoodie, looking down at the sidewalk to keep the wind out of her face.

"Hey peanut!" Her head snaps up at the sound of his voice, finding Harry steadily walking towards her

"What are you doing Har?" She asks, sighing in relief when they get close enough for his body to block the wind. He shrugs, looking around sheepishly.

"Didn't want ya walking alone."

She can't help but blush, digging her chin into her hoodie to keep him from seeing her undoubtedly red cheeks. "I mean, m'almost there already."

Warmth pools in her stomach when he shrugs again. She knows it's not right of her to be looking at her best friend's brother so fondly, as if he were the sun breaking through the clouds, but she can't help it. She spent so many of her teenage years blaming her attraction to Harry on teenage hormones, simply because she knows how Jess is. She never wanted to hurt Jess or risk losing her by admitting that she likes Harry, but the more Jess pulls away from her, the more she's starting to realize that maybe she shouldn't be guilty about her feelings.

"Well let's go before it starts raining!" She laughs, playfully shoving Harry in the direction he came. He chuckles too, nodding his head a couple times, and she huddles by his side as they walk. With his elbow bumping hers, she can't remember why she even texted Harry in the first place, but she's glad she did.

"Do you think I'm being a baby?"

Harry drops his spoonful of Spanish rice back into his bowl, head tilting like a curious puppy as he looks over at y/n.

"No, I don't think you are." He says sincerely, and maybe he's saying it just to validate her, bit either way it's nice. "If ya had plans for today and everyone dropped them, it's not on you peanut."

She nods, looking back towards the living room TV, though she doesn't focus on it. She lets his words sink in, repeating to herself that she's entitled to her emotions and that the girls are being bad roommates.

"I guess, just sucks that we're all gonna starve for the next week because Jess took her car."

She smiles pitifully, taking another bite of her rice. Harry sets his on the coffee table, swallowing the bite in his mouth and turning towards her. "Could take mine."

Y/n can't help but laugh, cupping a hand over her mouth and turning her head so he can't see the food in her mouth. "Harry, I'm terrible at driving." She says after swallowing her bite. He rolls his eyes at her because obviously he knew that.

"I meant with me driving, you muppet."

His teasing tone makes her blush, and she sets her bowl on the table too just so she has something to do other than looking into his pretty eyes.

"Y-yeah okay. If you don't mind."

Harry lightly shoves her shoulder, eyebrows raised. He doesn't even have to speak for her to know what he's saying. 'Do you really think I mind peanut?'

"Then let's go!" She says, jumping up from the couch. She digs her shoes out from under the coffee table, slipping them on while Harry takes their dishes to the kitchen and grabs his keys.

She waits for him at the door while he gets his shoes and hoodie on, and they squeeze through the doorway of the frat house out into the drizzling sky.

Harry's car is parked across the street, an old Ford that belonged to his grandma. She had given it to him for his 17th birthday, and while it was old and leaked oil, a car's a car. Y/n hurries into the car so she doesn't get to wet in the rain, and sitting in the passenger sheet switches something in her. She remembers riding to school in this car, munching on toast in the backseat or downing a yogurt smoothie. Harry had put a little trash bag in the backseat for her because she was always eating in the car.

The car roars to life, and y/n turns on her seat warmer while Harry gets settled in. "Haven't been in this car in awhile." She says.

Harry hums. "You get to ride in the Queen Bee's carriage."

She knows he's trying to joke, but the underlying tone is obviously a little bitter. Y/n frowns, remembering when Jess turned 18 and Anne presented her with a brand new Toyota Camry. Harry was so mad that night he didn't talk to anyone for the rest of the night, and he didn't join them on their first drive around the block. He even refused to ride in it.

"M'not buying their groceries," y/n suddenly decides, "just mine. And I'm keeping my snacks in my room. If they want theirs, they can go get it."

She's not looking at Harry, but he still smiles his usual pursed lipped smile. "Good," he says with earnest, and her shoulders feel lighter.

It may be stupid for y/n to be so bothered by it, but she's unable to stop thinking about Jess abandoning their book club, and then not even remembering the book. It'd be one thing to ask for the book back and her read it on her own, but she hasn't even asked y/n for it. It's been weeks and Jess is always on her phone, doing homework in her room, or out with Tina. She can't help but think she's being stupid and dramatic, and while that adds to her annoyance, it also pushes her to do something she doesn't normally do.

"It's only a couple hours, and we'd really love it you'd come with."

She's sat in the campus cafe with Zoe, the two of them sharing a basket of fries and getting ahead on homework. The soccer team has an away game this weekend, travelling about 2 1/2 hours east to play one of the school's biggest rivals. Harry had mentioned it quite a few times at book club, reminding her he might get behind this weekend but telling her to not slow down for him.

She thought it was just a team trip, until she met up with Zoe. Apparently the team reserved two buses, one for them and one for students to go cheer them on. Zoe has already reserved herself a seat for two, but the girl that was originally going with her had to back out last minute, leaving the seat open. And for some reason, she thinks y/n is the best filler.

"But wouldn't it be weird?" She murmurs, nibbling on a fry, "I mean, pretty much just the girlfriends are going and I'm just Harry's sister's best friend."

The mention of Jess makes her stomach twist, so she quickly pushes the thought away. Zoe rolls her eyes, smiling at y/n endearingly.

"You're so cute," she laughs, "it's obvious you and Harry are really close, and I know you're mad at Jess. Maybe you need to step away for a bit and clear your head."

"I guess that makes sense."

"And other's go too. Greg's best friend and sister is going." Zoe offers as reassurance.

"What if Jess is upset that I didn't invite her?"

Zoe shrugs, sighing. "You care too much about people who don't deserve it. If she asks, tell her I invited you because we're actually friends."

Maybe she wants to get back Jess or maybe it's the excitement of having another friend. Either way y/n doesn't put anymore thought into it before nodding. "Okay."

Harry checked over the clothes laid out on his bed, double checking that he's got everything he needs for his game. Cleats, socks, shinguards, compression shorts, shorts, jersey, extra deodorant, cologne.... everything.

He starts to nearly pack it in his bag, jumping when his bedroom door is suddenly thrown open, so much force behind it it smacks into the wall.

"What the fuck?" Harry asks, brow furrowing as Niall strolls into his room and sits at his desk.

"Talked to Zoe." He says, lips quirking up teasingly. Harry knows he's got something else to add, so he just nods.

"She found someone to be her seat buddy," Harry hums, not really listening as he continues to pack. "and that someone happens to be y/n."

His neck snaps up so harshly he's surprised a crack didn't resound throughout the room. "Y/n?" He asks, blushing when his voice cracks.

Niall smirks. "Your little peanut? Yeah. Guess they've been hanging out when we're at practice."

Harry swallows thickly, heart racing. He feels kinda stupid for being so flustered that y/n is going to his game. She's gone to all three of the past home games they've had, always wearing his shirt and carrying her sign for him. But she's going out of her way for him. She's willing to take a bus ride with a bunch of college kids for him. And she's making new friends! Friends that care about her, that encourage her to be a better person. Not friends that use her to make themselves look better.

"D-do you know what bus they're on?"

Niall shrugs, but his shit-eating grin let's Harry know that Niall knows exactly what bus they're going on. "Niall come on! Please"

He chuckles at Harry's urgency, folding his hands in his lap like as if conducting important business.

"Told Zoe I'd grab an extra seat on our bus for them." He says it nonchalantly, but Harry's heart flutters with interest. "Figured I could sit with my girl and you could sit with yours."

Niall calling y/n his girl definitely has him grinning, and his stomach erupts with giddiness, but he shakes his head. "She's not my girl," he says mournfully.

"Not yet, but she will be."

Harry huffs, falling dramatically onto his bed. Harry's been waiting his whole life (at least it feels like his whole life) for the opportunity to tell y/n how he feels. He had planned too when they were in high school, longing to spend his formative years with the girl he knows would've made them memorable, but he couldn't. Not with Jess and y/n so codependent on each other. Because Jess will definitely rip his head off if they end up together, and he couldn't do that in a time when they need each other.

"Ya think so?" He asks pathetically.

Niall's nod is firm and encouraging. "Of course. Everyone can see it, Zoe thought you lot we're already dating at the tailgate and that was before you gave her your shirt."

Harry perks up, head tilting like a hopeful puppy. "Really?"

"Yeah, just watching you too talk and look at each other is enough proof. There's something good there, and now's your chance to go for it."

Harry's eyes flicker over to the shelf of pictures. He finds the black Halloween frame right away, smiling at the photo. It was taken in middle school, the age when kids stop dressing up at school for Halloween, but somehow Jess, y/n, and him all did. Of course his and Jess' costumes were subtle; him being a professional soccer player and Jess bring Cher from Clueless. But y/n had shown up as Mr. Peanut, throwing away her hat and glasses when she'd been stared at. Harry had found her sulking outside, and immediately told her that he really liked peanuts, and from then on out, she was to be known as his peanut.

"What about my sister?" He mururms, lips falling in defeat when his eyes lock on her in the photo.

Niall sighs deeply, rising up from the chair and shrugging. "You know her best Harry. Would she be able to get over you dating her best friend?"

He's right. Harry does know Jess. He knows she's strong and confident and determined. And he also knows she's close-minded, selfish, and bratty. A weight settles in his stomach, and he wishes he could lie about Jess, but he can't.

"No," he whispers sadly, "no she wouldn't be okay with me dating her best friend. And she really wouldn't be okay with me being in love with her best friend either."

Best friend, his brain repeats. Some best friend she is. As if he'd been struck lightning, Harry bolts up from his bed, grabbing his jacket and throwing it over his head.

"What? What's wrong?" Niall asks worriedly.

Harry tugs his shoes on. "I've gotta find a way to tell y/n I love her."

#in the shadows #harry styles #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #harry styles imagine #one direction #harry imagine #harry styles au #frat boy harry styles #soccer harry #college harry #alternate universe #best friend's brother #forbidden love

162 notes · View notes

eugenesmorphine · 4 years

Text

Apologies // Frank Perconte Imagine

!TW! : Concentration Camps

AN: I finally made a Perconte imagines and I don’t know if I like it yet.

Words: 3,211

Taglist: @alienoresimagines @hihosilvers @punkgeekchic @floydtab @adamantiumdragonfly

I took a deep breath of the air, adjusting the helmet that resting on my head and slinging my rifle's strap over my shoulder. A smile on my face and my pride high. I was the first woman in the Paratroopers and I was actually out on the front line. Finally getting some action! Juts like the rest of the Replacements, I was more than excited to being getting in the war and get to kill some Germans.

I looked over at my good friend O'Keefe. He had been my battle buddy since the beginning of Paratrooper training. And tonight the two of us were set on watch duty with one of the originals of Easy Company. In which I believe his name was Frank Perconte.

"You ready for this? Training for all this time and now we are finally here," I breathed out, getting the attention from the male walking besides me. I stopped for a moment to look back in front of me. Seeing the small ocean of soldiers heading over to their destination. "Right in Europe."

"Hell yeah, I am. There ain't no way I would miss out on this, Y/N. Not after all that shit back in Camp Toccoa. I'm finally here, and I'm going to do my part," he responded. His head held high with a smile on his face. I chuckled and nodded, continuously walking. That was, until I heard someone shout my name.

"Private Y/N L/N!" the voice boomed. Nearly dropping my weapon and my helmet falling off, I turned around to the direction of which the loud voice was coming from. My eyes met with a taller man with a Captain's rank on the front of his helmet. So many thought ran through my mind in that moment.

'Did I do something wrong already?' 'Is he going to say something to me because I'm a girl?' 'What could I have possibly done already?'

I gulped, realizing that is maybe wasn't the brightest thing to sit and think when a superior officer is yelling your name. I already was a replacement, and in this day of age, being a woman wasn't the easiest thing in the world.

Jogging over to the officer, I stood at attention and swallowed hard. "Here, sir," I breathed out, pressing my lips tightly together. I watched as he looked down at me, smirking slightly, and letting out a chuckle.

"You'd think that the first female in the Paratroopers would be a little bigger, no?" he asked a soldier besides him. Who just let out a small laugh as his eyes scanned me. My blood slowly boiled, but I kept my silence. "You need to find a soldier by the name of Frank Perconte, one of his soldiers within his small squad was killed. You're replacing him. Now get moving."

Before I could even ask where Perconte was, the officer turned around and walked off. I sighed as I just turned around. Looking to see if I could find O'Keefe but he was lost in the mass of soldiers, but he was nowhere in sight. Sighing once more i just took it upon myself to find Perconte and get it over with. I was supposed to meet him later on tonight, but I guess not anymore.

///

It took about and hour of asking around, getting ignored, cat called, I finally found him. I approached the smaller Italian who stood talking to a few other soldiers and tapped on his shoulder. I waited for him to turn around. Tapping my boot against the hard dirt and chewing on the inside of my lip.

He turned around and narrowed his eyes at me, doing a slight double take. Its understandable that he probably hasn't seen a girl wrapped up in all this ever. "Are you, uh lost? Nurse?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. The only women that could be seen in near combat areas were the nurses. But, I don't know what gave him that idea, I don't even have the red cross arm band on.

Shaking my head, I stood up tall and took a deep a breath. "No, I'm not lost. I was told to come and replace one of the fallen men of your squad," I answered. This caught the attention attention of the other men that were around him. Pressing my lips together and keeping my head up high. One of the men scoffed. He was taller and had broad shoulders. Perconte didn't say nor do anything, but his eyes stated clear enough that he was confused.

"Yeah, sure. Then just go put your shit down over there," he responded, pointing over at table where other men sat and chatted at. I nodded and began my small journey over there.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me. Now they're letting girls in?!" it was the man that scoffed. Glancing backwards I watched as Frank hit him on the shoulder and gave him a nasty look.

"Don't be a dick, Toye," he huffed. I grinned slightly as I turned and finished making my way towards the table. Going off by myself and sitting down on a big rock. Just thinking and keeping myself busy until I was needed.

///

The night grew quickly. And the cold air struck just as fast. My teeth chattered as I pressed my back against the rough and hard wall of dirt within a foxhole. I sighed as I looked at O'Keefe's sleeping figure. It was just Perconte and me. An awkward silence filled the air for what seemed like hours. That was until the Italian broke it.

"So, L/N. What made a girl like you decide to join the Paratroopers? You know, being the only female and all," his voice awkward. I mentally cringed and just shrugged. Turning to look over at him.

"Well, Perconte. Why did you decided to join the Paratroopers?" I asked, crossing my arms. He shot me a confused look and also just shrugged.

"Well I wanted to do my part in the war," was all he said and I smiled.

"There is your answer," I responded, giving him a smile. He chuckled slightly and shook his head. Maybe he wasn't like all the other guys. He seemed pretty nice and to my surprise, he seemed respectful.

"At least you aren't like the rest of these Replacements. Only wanted in to kill some Germans. They're all fired up ready to kill, guns up, moral high. It is all is nice and games until the shooting really starts and your buddies start dropping like flies around you, I'll tell you that," he began. I gulped. Knowing exactly what he meant but I didn't want to admit it. More or less, he continued. "First thing you hear from the boys is how badly they want to kill some Krauts. Or that they are going to single handily kill Hitler. But the last thing you hear from them are their screams of pain and cries for their mothers after they get hit," he stopped once more to look at me. A small chuckle once again leaving his lips. "I have no idea why a woman would want to come and get in the middle of all this. Give up the easy life of cooking and cleaning. Just to become a grunt. Many girls cry at the sight of a broken nail!" he laughed. Those words went through one ear and out the other.

My blood boiled. I was wrong. He was just like the rest of the men. The same view on women. That we are nothing more than the caretakers of the home, the man's wife. Well that wasn't me. It wasn't ever going to be me. So before Perconte could utter another word, my head snapped to the side in order to stare him down.

"Maybe more women would come and join this men filled force if they weren't so criticized and harassed. There hasn't been one hour of me being within the Army where I haven't been catcalled or insulted. All I want to do is serve my country, and hell I'll even die for it. No matter what is in my pants," The Italian sat there shocked. His toothbrush dangling out of his mouth loosely. "Most women have no choice but to work in there homes because we can't do have the shit we want to. I would've been first in line to enlist when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. But I was too busy fighting for me to be able to be here in the Paratroopers, instead of busy a damn nurse! I worked just as hard, scratch that, probably even harder than you men. And I fucking made it. And I am damn proud of it. Whether you men except it or not. I thought you might be different. But I guess you men can't help be sexist, huh?" I spat. Standing myself up. Leaving Frank a stuttering mess and waking up O'Keefe. I huffed, picking up my weapon and beginning to step out of the foxhole. "I have to take a piss," was all I said as I walked off

.///

From that night, I barely even met Frank Perconte. And I kept it that way. No matter how many times he tried to speak to me or anything, I kept conversations short and kept my distance. It might've sounded like a bitch move. But I just didn't have the time or the well being right now within a war to deal with the continuously sexist appeal.

It had been months. The war went on, with or without friends. And finally we were nearing the end of it. And I had survived it! I had done it. The first female in the Paratroopers during the second World War and I survived! The days of sleeping in dirt, mud, and blood. Killing countless of Germans and watching so many friend die. We are finally seeing end to it.

Today, we would be going through one of the Concentration Camps. I was never told the name of it, I don't really know if I wanted to in all honesty. The stories and the millions of deaths that were held within the fences of the camps that were scattered all over Nazi flooded Europe. And today was the day we enter one. To see the true horrors. I don't think I'm even close to being prepared for what the rest of the soldiers and I are going to see. But, did I really have the choice?

///

The trucks came to a hard stop. Before even looking at the front gate, the smell of smoke and rotting corpses filled the air. I wanted to gag, but I held it in. We hadn't even entered the camp yet.

Climbing down out of the truck, my boots hit the dry dirt. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for what I was going to see and experience when I turned around and walked into that camp. Taking my beginning steps, my eyes were focused on just walking in the camp and doing what I could to help. Above me in the opening gates, German words shaped above it. I stopped for a moment. Freezing. I didn't know much German, but being taught a few things here and there helped me understand the lettering. And a part of me wish I didn't.

'Arbeit Macht Frei'

"Work makes you free," I muttered. They were given false hope. Told lies to get there hopes up. Just to tear them down. Everyone knew what happened in these camps. Shaking it off I set my mind straight once again. My boots padding onto the dirt as I looked around. Pressing my lips together as my stomach kept flipping as the strong odors got stronger and stronger.

All around people in stripped pajamas with a yellow Star of David sewn onto a breast pocket. All of them so skinny, and pale. They were starving. Who knows how long they went without food. Bruises littered their bodies. Even though the Nazis were long gone out of this place, they definitely made there mark.

People swarmed us soldiers. Some shouting in German, and I think some were yelling in Polish. It was so heartbreaking. So sickening. Men carried and leaned against one another. I tried to push past them, just to see what else was needed. But when an older man came walking up to me, a bony body in arms. Tears rushing down his face. She was lifeless. Gone. Stopping in my tracks as the elderly man stopped in front of me, dropping onto his knees. I swallowed hard. I couldn't exactly talk to him, even if I could I don't really think I know what I could've said. What was I supposed to say?

I pushed on, getting hugged, kissed on the cheek by so many. Seeing the pits filled with burning bodies. I had only been walking around the camp for a little more than an hour and my mind was so full of different things. I needed a moment to stop and catch my breath. And try to see if I could some how block out the pungent smells that filled the camp.

I sat down on a piece of wood. Maybe belonging to some destroyed building. I laid my weapon to the ground. Staring at it for a few seconds. How could something that looks that strange take away so many lives? End so many possible futures? It was crazy when you actually thought about it.

Next was my helmet. Placing it onto the ground besides my right foot, I wouldn't be needing it at this very moment anyways. I reached behind my head, grabbing the pin that secured my hair into a bun and pulling it out. Letting my H/C locks fall and hit my back and the wind push them out of my face. Breathing the horrid air and exhaling it out just as quickly.

I looked down at my hands. They were all cut up and torn. Not one finger lacked a callous. Dried mud, dirt, and blood rested on them and were in bedded underneath my nails. Thinking back to the days before all of this. Before all of the war and just back in my home town. How peaceful it was. I was always clean and smelled nice, hair all nicely done. Simpler times.

I was brought out of my peaceful thoughts by someone sitting besides me. "Can I sit here?" said the man. The voice sounded of a familiar man that I hadn't spoken to in a while. Frank Perconte. I blinked and craned my neck to look at the Italian. Shaking my head and just looking back down at my palms. I could hear him sit and let out a large sigh. The silence had taken over. Not even the cries and moans of the once prisoners of the camp could be heard in the moment.

"I wanted to apologize," Frank sighed out. For a moment I forgot what I was so upset at him about. And when I realized it, I understood how childish I must've seemed. I looked over at him, not knowing exactly how to respond. "I was being a fool. After seeing you go through what the rest of us have been through, I realized that you aren't just a woman. You are a soldier. And I should've been smarter than that," I was almost shocked. But in a way I wasn't.

And in just a second, like a ton of bricks, my surroundings hit me. I slapped my hand over my mouth as my body began shaking. Tears formed and welled in my eyes. Perconte looked at me, his eyes filled with worry and confusion. He immediately threw and arm around my shoulder, trying his best to comfort me. I tasted salt as my tears slipped down my lips. Muffled hiccups and small sobs could be heard through my hand.

"Maybe you were right, Frank. Maybe all these men were right. Maybe a woman isn't fit for war. Or maybe I'm just not fit for war," I spoke, just looking straight to the building that just seemed to have more and more poor people climb out of it.

"Where is all of this coming from?" I looked at him, chuckling sadly. Looking right back down at my palms.

"Frank, have you ever thought about how many men we have killed? How many families we destroyed? How awful that seems?" Taking a deep breath while wiping my face and eyes quickly. "But when you see all of this. All of this death, murder, tears. The sadness this place shoots out. This is the starting idea from one man that had thousands and thousands of men do his dirty work. When we see our friends killed, see our family killed, all of the thoughts of regret and guilt flushes away. It is quite strange when it gets down to it," Frank just kind of sat there, not really knowing what to say. I sighed, shaking my head slightly.

"What I've seen and dealt with, what I'm going have to deal with when I get home, I'll never be the woman I was before all of this. I'll never get married. No man will want me when I deal with nightmares almost every single night, my body is covered in scars, my hair a mess and will need a nice cut making it short, my hands in which are the hands that killed many. I won't be able to do most household acts for a while. I won't ever be able to have the future as a normal working woman. For what? For all of this horror? I should've just listened to everyone else," with my words, I placed my face in my hands.

"Oh, you know that isn't true. Look, I understand that you and I haven't been close. And that we haven't had many real conversations. But after we have spent an entire war together, losing so many of our friends together, losing close to everything. I think I'd like to call us friends. You were a better soldier than many of the men I know. And one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Covered in dirt and blood or not," I laughed softly, sniffling and wiping away a few stray tears. I took of of free hands within mine. Placing my head onto his shoulder and taking a deep breath. Taking in his words and letting them swirl around in my mind. Is two sat there for a a while, taking in each others presence and just watching our surroundings. My heart felt warm sitting next to him. His hand smooth against mine. Even though at this very moment, we sat in the actual living hell. I felt strangely warm within myself. That knowing that this was over, the horrors of this war was actually going to be over. It made me feel so much better.

"Thank you, Frank. And you aren't too bad yourself."

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