The enchantment has been broken - Part II (or more)
So dead it is, so dead am I. And so much more could be said.
This was a fairy-tale of what never was, lying in its deathbed,
Now that that cryptic charm is no more - no more than tears.
Alas!, those gouache-painted days disguised as endless years
Were barely minutes and heartbeats, infinite in their absurd.
Biased and tangled I awake: all that I read and saw and heard
Is an ever-so-slightly erotic epitaph of a long-gone conclusion.
Die well, my dear. For dead am I. For (so) alive is my delusion.
Fabien Euskadi
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Cass nervously walked through the mall, trying his best to avoid any of the middle stands from beckoning him over to give him samples and try to sell him face creams. The human hadn't walked through the mall by himself since he got lost in one during a high school field trip.
He avoided all the normie clothing stores and tried his best to not look when he passed by the place that sells lingerie, he knew what stores he liked so there was no need to browse anywhere else. Though he was sure this particular store isn't what Asmo had in mind when he wanted him to get out of the house and buy a new outfit.
The blond boy finally stepped into the Hot Topic, alt music playing as one of the workers welcomed him. He grinned to himself as he searched through the various clothes, while he tried to stay away from his old all black aesthetic in favor of his newer pastel one, the opportunity to shock everyone in the group chat was too good to pass up.
He found the pants he wanted fairly quickly, as well as an accessory or two to complete the fit, but he couldn't decide on a shirt. He didn't want to go with something just nerdy, that'd be too easy, he then pulled out a shirt from one of the clearance racks and his eyes lit up with a devious smile, it was too perfect.
He fidgeted with himself before taking a breath and talking to an employee, "Uhm, excuse me? Would it be alright if I used one of the changing rooms?"
_
House of Lamentation (New) - 8
Cassian: I just got back from my shopping trip!!
Asmodeus: Yes!! I was on the edge of my seat waiting for you to get done, oh I wish I could've been there to help you out, I'm sure you were so lost without my fashion guidance...
Cassian: Don't worry, I think I got something good, I took a picture in the changing room so I'll send that in a sec.
The chat was then filled with various messages back and forth, asking about Cassian's day out, if he was alright socially, if he ate anything good while there, nice and normal stuff.
Mammon: Oi!! Stop keeping us in suspense I wanna see what ya bought!!
Cassian: lol okay okay sending it now
Cass flopped in his bed and sent the picture before waking up his laptop and turning on a gaming video.
The picture was of Cassian in the dressing room, wearing dark gray baggy jeans with various zips, pockets, and chains. To match with the cluttered design of the bottoms, he had on several bracelets on each wrist, even going so far to wear a black choker with a silver pentagram charm.
The real star of the outfit was his t-shirt, plain black with text that read "Satan Loves Me".
Mammon: WHAT?? WHY'S THE HUMAN REALM GOT SHIRTS ABOUT SATAN??
Mammon: WHY DIDN'T YOU GET ONE THAT SAID "THE GREAT MAMMON LOVES ME", HUH??
Cassian: sowwy mams, you're just not as popular as Satan when it comes to the human world =w=
Satan: Personally, I think you look wonderful, Cassian. You look good in black.
Cassian: aww, tyyy
Belphegor: If it weren't for the fact that it was Satan's name on your shirt I'd agree.
Beelzebub: I also love you, Cass.
Their talk continued throughout the evening until Lucifer forced everyone to let Cass get rest, as if they each weren't gonna text him on their own as soon as they got the chance.
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I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.
Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.
Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.
Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.
I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.
He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).
First, we get this:
Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.
They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.
It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.
We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.
What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?
He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.
In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.
Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!
...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.
Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.
And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.
I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.
And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.
Meals are the privilege of the living.
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When Senshi was young in the dungeon the majority of the adults he were with ostracized him. All except Gillin, who died to make sure Senshi had something to eat: unseasoned boiled meat that may or may not have been one of their comrades.
It really puts into perspective why he was so nurturing towards Chilchuck. When Chil reveals he’s 28 to the party, Senshi responds by telling him that he thought he was older. Senshi was in his 30s when he and his comrades got trapped in the dungeon, so it’s safe to assume that he thought Chil was at a similar age.
He met a young boy who was, from his perspective, forced to do dangerous work in the dungeon just like he was, and so, Senshi made an effort to look after Chilchuck in the same way Gillin looked after him.
Mind you, when Senshi was young in the dungeon he had to starve for weeks, eat the horse he loved, and finish it off spending the next i don’t know how many years wondering if he committed cannibalism.
Senshi understands first hand the value of nutrition and proper eating, so when he’s with the party he makes an effort to make sure they’re all eating a full and balanced diet. Not only that, but Senshi INVOLVES them in the process of getting food to eat, always preparing it in front of them and narrating every ingredient in the process so that there’s no doubt about what they’re eating.
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Enough of the trope where memory loss undoes the damage or the corruption or whatever. More content where removing memories just removes the context.
The tragedy of needing to grieve and not knowing what or who you lost or why. The angst of having trauma and being denied the awareness that it's trauma. The suspense of being different somehow and left to wonder how and when. The tension of knowing that something is off and you can't find where it hurts. The Adventure Zone gets it. Kingdom Hearts gets it.
There is an aching inside you and you don't know how it got there.
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To illustrate this post by @mayahawkse I would like to visualize to you the difference:
A post in 2023:
A post in 2014:
A zoom out of the same post:
This is what a community looks like.
See how in 2023 almost all of the reblogs come from the OP, from their few hours/days in the tag search. Meanwhile in 2014 the % of reblogs from OP is insignificant, because most of the reblogs come from the reblogs within the fandom, within the micro-communities formed there. You didn't need to rely on tags, or search, or being featured. Because the community took care of you, made sure to pass the work between themselves and onto their blog and exposed their followers to it. It kept works alive for years.
It's not JUST the reblog/like ratio that causing this issue, it's the type of interaction people have. They're content with scrolling and liking the search engine, instead of actually having a reblogging relationship with other blogs in their community.
Anyways, if you want to see more content you like, the only true way to make it happen is to reblog it. Likes do not forward content in no way but making OP feel nice. Reblogs on the other hand make content eternal. They make it relevant, they make it exist outside of a fickle tumblr search that hardly works on the best of days.
If you want more of something, reblog it.
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