#but i can find out.
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me: this is a background character who's in one scene, has two lines, and is completely irrelevant to the rest of the story. i am going to stop obsessing over what to name him and use the random name generator on behindthename.com. i am going to accept the first thing it gives me and move the fuck on.
behindthename.com:
#guess i can call him charlie#i'll know what it's short for#and maybe someday i'll have a Fandom and someone will deep dive this far and find out the truth#a bitch can dream#writing#writeblr#naming characters#behind the name#names#character names#my writing#charizard cockburn#pokemon#sing-you-fools#1k#5k#10k#25k#50k
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i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good
#getou suguru#kaneki ken#abyss twin#i know there are others who im not thinking of rn#feel free to reblog with more examples#aphelion.txt#tropes#WAIT I REMEMBERED MORE#jaina proudmoore#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#phosphophyllite#i just spent like half an hour trying to find this on tv tropes but it must be. Too specific of a thing i have in mind bc#I just kept finding similar and related but too broad categories#despair event horizon. fallen hero. well intentioned extremist. etc etc etc#like specifically i'm talking about when the character's EMPATHY is the CRUX of the problem. sosooo crunchyjuicytasty#edit:#also just know that i am reading every tag on this post#and enthusiastically scribbling down the names i dont recognizr#so i can check out their series later#edit 2 wow this post blew up 🫡 godspeed fellow villain likers#the amount of people tagging this as 'me lmao' is concerning to me#wwx#how did i fucking forget this was also yllz era wwx
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If I know enough about everything I won't fear anything
#knowledge isn't just power. it's power over fear and the unknown.#if i eradicate the unknown i can't fear it#or at least bring the unknown down to a manageable level#who cares if i don't know what i ate for breakfast 20 days ago? that unknown is nothing to fear.#but death? that is an unknown to fear.#and i cant make myself hide behind religion#unless i believe the stories i make so much that they consume my thoughts#sometimes its easier just to paint over the unknown with my own colors and hide it from my sight#but that isnt a long-term solution. no. pretending i know the unknown doesnt make it known. it just makes another possibility.#but if i know all the possibilities#then i can be prepared for whatever the unknown turns out to be#and then i will have a solid plan#even if that plan is to simply accept what could be as it happens#that's still a better plan than just wandering through life right next to the answers but too scared to look them in the face#i am really tired and slowly descending into madness which means i rant about shit like this#i don't need to know everything. i just need to know ENOUGH.#but what draws the line between enough and too much?#will i ever obtain the arbitrary amount of knowledge i think is enough or will i forever search for knowledge that cannot exist?#i don't know.#but i can find out.#knowing enough will take a while#maybe i don't need to know everything. i just need to be aware of all the possibilities and use that to determine what's most likely.#idk. i need sleep.#if anyone besides me happens to read this- you also need sleep go to bed
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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Oh look, it seems everyone has been opted into the unfortunate "experiment" now. For everyone who has been blissfully using the old UI up until now, welcome to hell :)
Do you not like hell? Do you want to leave and crawl back up into the sunlight of the old UI? Well, have I got a link for you! A beautiful tumblr user (who is not me) has gone and fixed things beautifully for you already: https://github.com/enchanted-sword/dashboard-unfucker
You will need to have Tampermonkey installed on your browser of choice, and once that's done, just go to the github link above, and peruse the readme to install. And voila! You have your old dash back!
The authors of XKit Rewritten said during the experiments that at the time, since this was an "experiment" they weren't going to implement anything to revert to the old UI (although who knows if they'll do it now). And the dashboard unfucker has worked beautifully enough for me to where I genuinely couldn't tell if they had ended the experiment or not.
#EDIT: pinning this for a few days so muts can find it if needed#EDIT: but also because i'm muting notifications because my phone is now dying#i foresee me possibly having to mute the notifications on this post#but whatever#(update: my prediction came true faster than i anticipated before i could even fix link mistakes or typos 🤷♀️ SORRY)#(when posts you make for your muts get a little further out than expected)#psa for anyone who the new ui winds up bothering#here's a way to basically revert to ye olden times
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The squad of all time has arrived on scene.
#dungeon meshi#mithrun#Cithis Ofri#Pattadol#Fleki#Lycion#Otta#Happy Canary Debut Day! These guys wont really get to be very present until the next season of Dungeon Meshi#But I can still be excited to see them animated!!!#Shout out to Pattadol - I also tend to occupy 'The Punchline' niche of the friendgroup.#The punchline differs from 'The Jester' who willingly absorbs the jokes. The punchline is often unwillingly the joke.#You are either the one no one likes or the well beloved little-sibiling-esque friend. Good luck figuring out which!#Yes it is canon that Otta is into Women. YES she dates younger women and dumps them when they age.#This isn't a fan made bit. It's real.#Dungeon Meshi has no romance but it does have canonically queer characters.#Shipping is fine and all but it is a running theme in the series than *everyone* who expresses romantic interest in someone -#-finds that love unrequited. Just something to be mindful of to measure your expectations of this series!#Ah! In other housekeeping notes; I'm going to *try* and add Alt Text to my dungeon meshi thurday posts going forwards.#I might not be able to do it day of but I will try to get it done within a week.
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assorted bat practice... on top of everything he has the audacity to be hard for me to draw
#astarion#bg3#my art#eventually want to do this for everyone#polish/collect/post a bunch random drawings ive got lying around from figuring out how i want to draw them#he just has more complete ones bc unfortunately. i do like him.#i just always have to take like ten passes at his likeness#my findings are that you can always make his face narrower and the eye bags are load-bearing
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Danny is at a Ghost Hunting Convention in Gotham with his parents.
He hates his past self for thinking that going to Gotham was a good idea.
He's in a tank, full of water, with a curtain draped over it as the Joker waxes poetic about how Batman is too late and blah, blah, blah.
Danny has bigger problems than Batman's pissing contest with Joker.
His parents are on the outside of the water tank he's been stuck in for the last twenty minutes. As a Halfa, he just stopped breathing, no big deal.
But they don't know he can do that.
He needs to do something so that they don't think he's a ghost, and going intangible is out because, obviously, that would make him a ghost.
...Hadn't Clockwork said that his status as a Halfa made him...flexible? On what he looked like?
That meant shapechanging, like Amorpho.
It would be really, really hard to explain, but also, better than being mistaken for a ghost.
He squeezes his eyes shut, hopes he doesn't come out of this looking like a horrifying version of clayface, forces himself to change.
The skin on his neck ripples, his legs fuse like when he's in his ghost form, and the sensation is so strange he gasps...and he can breathe.
The curtain is still over the tank of water.
Danny is glowing.
There are freckles that are glowing a soft green that dot his arms and...tail.
He's a mermaid. Merman.
Well.
Maybe he can say it was a recessive gene?
#dpxdc#dcxdp#story prompt#dp x dc#dc x dp#phanfic#mermay#joker removes the curtain#and there's a very confused merkid floating there#even joker is taken aback#like#“...were you always able to do that?”#“uh...I didn't know I could?”#anyways this is how he finds out he's adopted#when the Fenton parents start crying and thanking any power they can think of that#his bio parents were apparently atlanteans#whether they actually are or not is up to the writer
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"Xiao does things" (and friends) twitter log
#testing out if i did the posting right lol#you know why im back here#[beep boop beep click clacking keyboarding] ooh nice tumblr feature i have not been in this place for at least 5 years#compiling what i can from twt and i find it fit like this. i think!!#genshin impact#qiiarts#lumine#xiao#traveler#zhongli#ei#nahida#cyno#alhaitham#paimon#tighnari#scaramouche#wanderer
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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hehehehe oh shit indefinite sad dark shadow (⊙ˍ⊙).
#tbh i don't understand what i'm doin here.#come up with a context instead of me i am an out-of-context genius the pinnacle of understatement the king of idiots.#like i'm a little tolerably uh uh wow werrry much uh unreasonably violent and lonely DRUNK.#let's imagine that from the pies you can find something other than visually propagating information noise.#da? da.#noirpunk#punknoir#hobie brown#peter benjamin parker#spider punk#spider noir#across the spiderverse#atsv hobie#itsv noir#spider man: across the spider verse#atsv
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If a transgender person asks you to deadname and misgender them in front of certain people. Misgender them and deadname them in front of those people. It doesn't matter how icky or gross it may feel, it doesn't matter you'd rather be honest. It doesn't matter if there's more of you there. Certain people aren't safe, and honesty IS NOT the best policy when honesty could put them at serious risk. It doesn't matter if there's a crowd, because when there isn't shit goes down.
Be an ally, do what they ask. Understand that the trans person knows more about their situation than you do, and this includes who's safe and who's not. Some one can be "trans friendly" to other people, but not to people they know or specific people. Do as the trans person asks, yes it's uncomfortable, but it's 10 times worse if the person we don't trust finds out. 100 times worse if they have access to us when you're not around.
Respect trans peoples safety. Misgender and deadname when asked.
#trans#transgender#lgbt+#lgbtq+#2slgbtqia+#lgbt#transfem#transmasc#transneutral#there is a post about this on my blog but it reminded me of my own situation#my whole family knows I'm out and I didn't want them to#my entire extremely christian catholic and mormon extended family knows because I let my sister tell my parents because we weren't talking#now I live in constant damn fear I'm going to get a message forwarded from family to the point I blocked my own parents#these are dangerous people who will stop at nothing to ruin my life if they find me so I'm going to ask I get deadnamed and misgendered#in front of them#i'm going to lie that it's a joke so I can live my life in relative peace.
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pls read the zosan fic “utilities included” and enjoy sanji making his own life as miserable as possible in plain view of his new roommate
from ch. 1 of utilities included (mind the tags and rating)
masterpost
#one piece#zoro#sanji#zosan#yes i proudly drew this for my friends fic. i think its genuinely charming and funny and well characterized#mind the tags and rating of course skfkdkfkkd#bree if ur out there… 🥰#im gonna reply to this with the link once it posts (im scheduling this for tomorrow) but also u can find her on ao3 at strawhattery#utilities included
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How FNAF movie Mike would learn about Vanny
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#mike schmidt#fnaf vanny#fnaf vanessa#fnaf gregory#fnaf#fnaf movie#security breach#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#I CAN just see so clearly out of all ways for Mike to find out#Gregory would just tell nonchalantly#now it’s only a question for how long he knew and I’ll let yall decide that#Mike simply doesn’t fear Vanny just cause it’s game Vanessa#GREGORY the gremlin snitching on his sister like this#which is super on brand for him ngl 🙏🏾
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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Alastor may dislike new age tech but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his sources lol
#hazbin hotel#alastor#velvette#hazbin hotel velvette#hazbin hotel alastor#digital fanart#digital art#fanart#art#my art#I just like the idea of Velvette keeping him in the loop with online drama and new age lingo#you can hardly manipulate people effectively if you can't fucking understand half of their slang after all#Velvette likes that he can keep up with her wit and is just as much of a judgy gossip as she is - Alastor finds her brash attitude amusing#he also has sources she doesn't so it's always nice to exchange information every once in a while over some tea/coffee#plus it's funny to hang out with your roommie's main source of hateboners bc he's actually pretty chill
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