#but hey if it works it works
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doing smth insanely silly
#sid rambles#wip#mostly for organization purposes (and because. i cant. remember my own lore.)#but hey if it works it works
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nothing better than writing your UK law essay with Seb Lowe on in the background - just really adds to atmosphere XD
#law school#seb lowe#uk politics#law student#uni is kicking my ass#and ive procrastinated this essay to the extreme#but hey if it works it works#right?#Spotify
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an unitentinally funny side effect of most my followers being from vocaloid is seeing people with vocaloid pfps like my paleoart IDK why its just really funny to me
#text post#im always afraid nobody is that intrested in my non anime art so it makes me happy#thats why i dont post it as often#idk despite simutaniously being both a vocaloid fan and a dinosaur nerd i just dont imagine there being many other people like me#i feel like its very different audiances#but hey if it works it works#and if it doesnt fuck you its my blog i post what i want#im not someone whos gunna make new blog for every fandom im in by following me you singned a contract to be subject to all my hyperfixation
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So unlike you
Oh boy oh boy angst time. This was requested by my mutual @callisto-moon-bot150 she asked for angst with a happy ending, involving Prowl and Bulkhead arguing.
Honestly it was hard to think of something they'd argue about but i figured it out, this ficlet takes place during\after that one episode where Prowl teams up with Lockdown and has a sort of craze for mods.
"Prowl?.... PROWL! What do you think you're doing?! You can't go after Starscream alone!" Bulkhead looked towards the sky at the small ship that Prowl took to go after the allspark signal on the moon.
"Don't worry, Bulkhead. I know what I'm doing, I have the emp and stasis cuffs there's nothing to worry about". Prowl's tone was as calm as ever, but something about the confidence in his voice felt different. Prowl wasn't one to doubt his abilities, but he was never cocky. Now his words were laced with the kind of overconfidence that Bulkhead wold moreso expect from Bumblebee.
Soon thereafter Prowl went into complete radio silence. Of course this worried everyone, especially Bulkhead. But they could still pick up his energy signature and no distress calls so they all hoped for the best.
But nobody could have guessed what would happen next.
To see Lockdown again was bad on it's own, to see Lockdown with Prowl was worse. But to see Prowl and Lockdown working together? It made the fact there now somehow was two of Sarscream into nothing more than an afterthough.
"Prowl... what are you doing?! Why are you working with Lockdown?!" Optimus stared in disbelief at Prowl. Ratchet looked a lot more angry "and why do you have all of those..." he vaguely geastured towards Prowl "...things?"
Prowl deflected all of his teammates' comments, and they didn't have any time to argue with multiple Starscreams to deal with. During the whole ordeal Prowl acted so unlike himself that it felt like he was someone else.
In the end he snapped out of it and threw aside all the mods that he borrowed from Lockdown. But it wasn't that easy for everyone else to forget it...
Prowl was firstly scolded and grilled with questions. And he understood that, he really did and he didn't argue about it. But even after that he could still feel the distrust coming from his teammates. As much as they tried to hide it it was obvious that everyone was still worried about if this was a sign of worse things to come. Prowl understood that too, he wasn't oblivious to how the others could see this as some sort of implication.
But what really hurt was the distrust from Bulkhead. It was like he was avoiding Prowl, and as much as it hurt Prowl really didn't have a hard time rationalizing it. Bulkhead was the one who told him not to go alone, and Prowl remembered acutely the look of betrayal he got from Bulkhead when they saw each other after Prowl returned.
It was the worst punishment of all. To have the person who's supposed to love the most you avoid you completely. Prowl tried to talk thing out, he wanted so badly to apologise, to beg for forgiveness. But every time Bulkhead would just talk for as short as possible, or avoided talking all together.
This lasted for days, and it was absolutely unbearable. Everyone else was slowly moving on from it, except for Bulkhead and it was driving Prowl insane. It made the worst case scenarios play through his head on repeat. Did this mean the end? Did this mean that Bulkhead didn't want to be together anymore? The thought made Prowl's spark clench, how could he have ever even though of somthing so idiotic? He should've listened, he should've stayed and not gone out on his own.
Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. One evening Prowl went to Bulkhead's room, he took a deep breath an knocked on the door. He entered slowly, looking at Bulkhead with both anxiety and hope. Seeing the way that Bulkhead looked at him cut deeper than any blade.
"Bulkhead.... I... came to apologise" Prowl was hoping so dearly that Bulkhead would listen. "You were right, I shouldn't have gone out on my own, I should've never even considered working with Lockdown. Please, how can I make it up to you? Please, talk to me", his voice was pleading as he hoped so deeply to get any sort of response.
When he didn't get any response he sighed and hanged his head in defeat, "I... understand, if this means.. the end, then I'll accept it", Prowl turned around and was about to leave the room when Bulkhead spoke up.
"I was so worried about you", he spoke quietly, but with a slur of emotions in his voice. He turned to look at Prowl "I thought that the worst had happened when you would't respond. And when you did come back you acted so... unlike yourself... I thought I'd lose you in a different way".
Prowl looked positively baffled, he took a step closer to Bulkhead "you... though that i would..." he searched for the right way to say it "... go with Lockdown? Become like him? Bulkhead, I... I could never. Yes, I admit I acted like an absolute fool but I could never do something like that".
Bulkhead still looked apprehensive but didn't look away from Prowl, didn't object to Prowl approaching him. Prowl took it as a good sign, and continued "I'm so sorry, you were right! I should have listened to you! I acted like an idiot... please forgive me, I'll do anything" he was almost on his knees. If begging is what it took then by god he'd beg.
Bulkhead stood up, and walked up to Prow, "Anything?".
"Yes! Anything! Anything it takes!" Bulkhead's willingnees to talk made Prowl hopeful, when he said he'd do anything he meant it.
Bulkhead took another step forwards and grabbed Prowl, holding him close to his chest. "Never scare me like that again. I know I can't force you do listen to me but just... promise me that".
Prowl immediatly wrapped his arms around Bulkhead's neck, even if it had only been a few days since they last heald each other it was still far too long. "I promise, I promise I'll listen more, and i won't pull any stunts like that ever again", he said this wholehearthedly. This was a lesson that he wouldn't forget.
"Thanks. And uhm, sorry for the silent treatment... I just didn't know how to react" Bulkhead looked a lot more at ease and he leaned in to kiss Prowl.
Prowl accepted the affection like it was what kept him alive, "I understand, though I must admit these past few days must have been the worst ones of my life". He couldn't resist, he kept kissing Bulkhead like there was no tomorrow. It was almost hard to believe that he's normally so distant with everyone.
And it seemed like Bulkhead also didn't like the consequenses of his silent treatment, because he seemes equally as needy for attention. "Yeah, mine too. Now come here, I'm not letting you go until we've both had our fill", he smiles and picks Prowl up, holding him close.
With that it was like whatever invisible wall that stood between them fell. They held onto each other as if letting go would kill them, they exchanged kisses and words of adoration like they needed it more than anything else.
"I'm never giving you the silent treatment again", Bulkhead chuckled a little to himself "honestly, I wanted to stop after a day and a half. You're real irresistible you know that?".
Prowl was already flustered but hearing that only made it worse. He laughed and smiled warmly, it was rare sight but he couldn't help it when Bulkhead was so damn charming. "Likewise, I know I act very distant a lot of the time but now I simply can't imagine a life without you", he leaned in and kissed Bulkhead, this time more passionatley, "but enough talking, I have a few days worth of attentoin to catch up on".
#transformers animated#tfa prowl#tfa#transformers#tfa bulkhead#prowlbulk#bulkprowl#hoooooooo boy#like honestly i could not imagine any other scenario where these two would disagree this badly#but hey if it works it works#and oh boy like i really like the idea that Prowl is kind of a hopeless romantic if you get close enought to him#like mr tall dark and distant becoming the sappyest fuck ever behind closed doors#so obviously he wouldn't like the silent treatment#and bulky would not do any better since he is defo touch starved#and insecure so not getting his daily dose of affection would suck for him#basically they're both just super affectionate and absolutely love the attention they get from each other
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overly complicated looks into geistverse ocs sexuality, gender, etc
geist is nb, of course, but as far as sexuality goes they are rather unbothered. generally they are attracted to men but that is more due to the fact it's easier to find men that are their type than women. they like big guys with a puppy dog like attitude and presumably woman like that as well. geist doesn't really label themself and just lets people assume what they'd like about their sexuality + gender
angie butch lesbian icon who just happens to also have an awful co-dependent relationship with her best friend and also roleplays marriage with a drag queen on occasion. simple as that
adam is gay as hell as in he likes men. but he's also a drag queen and has gone on a many a dates with men who are also women, so there is that. and also the lesbian marriage roleplay with angie
bianca got that tgirl swag. but otherwise she is probably transhet? she definitely likes guys but may like girls also but she's not really sure. she has a hard time telling if she just admires certain girls and wants to be like them or if she actually has a crush on them. maybe she'll figure it out someday?
i've kinda talked about luci's sexuality before in that he doesn't really think about it! and considering that the only person he has historically been attracted to was nb, it's a little hard to say something definitive. his gender is quite simple too, that is devastatingly a cis man
dan got that tboy swag. otherwise he's bi but its not really something he thinks about much cause he has just had the most catastrophic crush on luci for practically his whole life but after learning about the luci geist thing maybe he'll move on eventually kinda
#i do think bianca and dan get together eventually! i think i've mentioned that before#i should make a post about how i think that happens shouldn't i#they are the only ones who end up in some sort of stable relationship#and it happens by them both being each other rebound kinda#but hey if it works it works#klepto talks to himself#klepto rants about ocs#i don't feel like tagging everyone rn#geist ii [oc]
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my new way to cope with overstimulation is to pretend that I’m now Crowley in whatever bad situation I’ve ended up in and then i think about what Aziraphale would say and usually i can calm down within like. ten minutes.
#usually i just imagine turning everyone into salamanders and lighting things on fire and then eating whatever i can find#but hey if it works it works#sometimes i hum queen songs to myself#and then aziraphale says#come on now was that really necessary?#and the answer is always yes#so i offer him what i’m eating#good omens#aziraphale#aziracrow#anthony j crowley#crowley
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currently bleaching my hair while blasting mcr to cope with the stress of finals. teenage me is thriving
#we're going pink!#which is also evidence#i've also finally beaten the not-like-other-girls gremlin#primarily by realizing i am in fact Not A Girl lmao#but hey if it works it works
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Annabeth: I, a child, had to earn Thalia’s love, that’s how the world works! I have to earn my moms love. Love is transactional, you gotta be worthy of it first silly :)
Percy, listening to this on the train
#STOP TRAUMATIZING THIS CHILD PLEASE#this is what it’s like when you were raised in a loving home and you find out your friend wasn’t#but they don’t know they weren’t#so you’re like um hey that’s fucked up and sometimes a crime?#you tell them parents are supposed to love you as is without earning it and they don’t believe you#you can hear the therapy bill racking up#annabeth chase#Percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#pjo series#pjo tv show#mine#adding on to my tags because some people are debating if that’s how love works#love is meant to be a mutual exchange and something that grows over time between two people as their bond grows#whereas how Annabeth says it#in my opinion at least#she had to do XY and Z to be worthy of thalias love before receiving it#like with her mother#she has to be amazing before Athena is proud of her#vs Athena being proud of her just for being her daughter#that being said I’m not hating on a traumatized child having potentially negative and toxic patterns#more pointing out the comedy of the scene from Percy’s perspective who has a good grasp on healthy vs unhealthy relationships
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bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word
I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.
(I'm sorry)
#art#twisted wonderland#(sort of atemporally somewhere between episodes 6 and 7?)#(i - i wanted that lilia joke okay)#long post#tumblr went 'you can post up to 30 images now :)' and i was like well okay then#anyway once again i'm sorry#i'd say i don't know why i did this but actually it is because i wanted kalim to scandalize everyone#i tried to keep it...you know...tasteful. a tasteful amount of fucks.#hey remember how the framing premise for the original birthday interviews was that yuu worked for the school paper#because i have never forgotten. in my head they are still getting up to all kinds of wacky reporting hijinks.
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New Old Habits
You folks are awesome, user @silentlycrazy kinda gave me this idea in a tag and I couldn't resist
Comics heavily based on @yamujiburo hanamusa's lore
I'll add these sequence on the original post
James and Meowth go to work after the bad joke
And Jessie goes to work with a smile
#artists on tumblr#digital art#digital illustration#fan art#pokemon#comic#hanamusa#pokémon#hey peeps stop giving me very good ideas I need to work can't draw hanamusa all day long#wish I could draw hanamusa all day long *sad vibes*
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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”When we’re together, we have no weakness. No vulnerability. We perfect each other.”
aka @wellship 's ”20 Year Waltz” and their ”The God with no back” concept lives in my head rent free and forever loved💚
#the god business is a work in progress but hey if it works#zosan#roronoa zoro#black leg sanji#zoro#sanji#one piece#the god with no back#20 year waltz#the quote is SO GOOD bless you Landeg#fanart inspired by a fanart hehe#anniinart#traditional art#omg I inked something!!#kinda missed my brushpen not gonna lie#how gay can I make this? ...........yes.
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it’s times like these where i’m glad i accidentally conditioned myself to associate country music with serotonin release. easiest way ever to trick myself into being happier.
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people seriously pretending EEAAO is overrated suddenly bc it swept awards? it swept awards largely because it is very very very good. I cried like someone who's just had a religious revelation BOTH times I watched it bc it touched something raw and real and beautiful but it was also just very, very funny. everyone's performance kills and the concept is creative and interesting and doesn't distract from the emotional core. you guys are just contrarian.
#red said#also there are posts and tweets like THIS IS JUST FOR MCU FANS#like please go on demonstrating how you've adopted 'mcu fan' as a shorthand for 'person who likes films i don't'#or 'person who likes films that are popular'#because the defining features of mcu films are that they're high budget irony poisoned derivative works#targeted at a broad audience so aiming to be accessible and inoffensive#and it really seems. like 'accessible' is the part of that you object to#bc EEAAO is a highly original A24 indie film with a 14.5m budget which is NOTHING#it's made mostly with practical effects and sets#and most importantly it's beautifully painfully earnest. it's never trying to shy away or go Hey Look How Silly This Is 😏#everything is driven by its earnest desire to talk about specific themes#i think the people comparing it negatively to mcu films are stuck on the fact that it's about a multiverse and it's got jokes#and colourful action scenes#but they miss that the referential jokes (like racacoonie) and setpieces aren't the point of the film
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my comic from the @neverturnbackzine! truly one of my favorite zines i've been a part of :]
some extra insight/fun facts about the process of this piece below the cut 💥💥💥
posting pieces from collaborative zines is always something i struggle with because i look back and think of how i would do things differently now, but i learned a lot working on this comic and even developed some style techniques that i still use!
Fun Fact 1: the panel where shadow Fucking Disintegrates That Guy is technically traditionally drawn! i couldn't get it right in clip studio so i just started frantically scribbling in a notebook and got it eventually lol
highly highly recommend scribbling stuff out in a notebook, scanning it on your phone, and then dropping it into a canvas to edit later if you ever have trouble sketching something.
Fun Fact 2: a lot of the overlay/background effects were made in Kid Pix Deluxe 3D. i created a whole collection of various textures/abstract effects for this comic that i've been using in my art since last year. you can even find them scattered through my team dark zine lol. here's a few of them:
similarly, the background at the bottom of page 2 is actually a warped photo i took of a bunch of headphone wires. this is the original:
Fun Fact 3: i made this comic during a very busy and wild period of time last year so this is what the final panel looked like for a while before i fully finished it LMAO
ok yay thanks for reading bye
#ah yes the comic that i kept showing to my friends for notes and asking “hey guys is this even REMOTELY comprehensible”#very fun to work on! learned a lot :] for context i finished this in july of last year#fern's sketchbook#eyestrain#sth#shadow the hedgehog
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a witch and her vampire 🩸
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