#but grants stance was more i really think this is going to get you killed and that scares me even if I agree with you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lets-try-some-writing · 7 months

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Okay, I just wanna say that I love ALL the fic ideas you came up with and I desperately want to read all of them but I know everyone else wants that too, so for the sake of your mental sanity, I'll pick my favorites

Also, as much as I cry/go feral over your angst works, your fluff/crack stuff does something to my brain chemistry that I need

So I really want to see more of the prompts I requested (omg, someone wanting to see more of their prompt, who would've guessed? Though which one you wanna expand on is up to you) as well as "Of all the things that could happen, did have to be this?", "Human Females Do What Once A Month?!", "Cybertrons newest younglings/sparklings"

Those are some of my personal favorites but if you aren't feeling it or wanna do angst, you do you. Love all your amazing work and thanks for listening to my rambles 🙃

Well thank you for the chance to write more fluff! I am so happy you like my work friend! I've been meaning to get to this request for a while now. But classes have been dragging me kicking and screaming through the mud.

Prompt for this request here.

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙

Of all the things that could happen, did it have to be this?

The battle for the Omega Lock was by far one of the most intense any of the Decepticons had ever engaged in. It was a fierce and brutal conflict that left both sides struggling. However in the end, all Autobots on Earth were captured, promptly executed, and had their bodies thrown into the Cybermatter as a taunt toward their desperate attempts to regain control of the relic. But of course, this singular act of smug retribution came with consequences.

As the bodies of the Autobots sank into the Cybermatter, the Matrix blazed and collected the sparks of the fallen within itself in an attempt to preserve them. Then, with the aid of the Cybermatter surrounding it, the Matrix did as it was made to. It remade those it was offered. Optimus it kept to itself, but the others? It molded them again granting them new life and hoping to save them from execution once more by altering how they emerged. It could not erase who they were, nor did it want to. No, it needed to preserve them and give them a chance.

With that in mind, there was no way the Decepticons, who were still reveling in their victory, could have ever predicted eight sparklings clambering out of the Omega Lock screaming and shivering. At first the gathered Decepticons were too shocked to act, but as a young Smokescreen wailed, Starscream moved without thinking. With soft murmurs and croons, the Seeker held the sparkling close to himself, soothing him with gentle touches and songs. After that, there was no stopping it. Megatron was cruel, but he was not the the kind to allow sparklings to die, no matter their origin. Thus he gathered the sparklings, brought them onto the Nemesis, and set course for Cybertron. Earth was all but forgotten amidst the chaos.

A meeting was held with all of high command as soon as the Nemesis was out of Earth's orbit. There was brief discussion of killing the sparklings considering they were formerly Autobots, however that was shut down immediately by Starscream throwing the biggest fit any on the Nemesis had the displeasure to deal with. The Seeker threw away any pretense of cowardice in order to defend the sparklings, regardless of whatever wrath Megatron might hold toward him after the fact. Thankfully for him, Knockout was quick to support his stance, even going so far as to threaten to damage the ship and tell the Vehicons about the incident if the order to kill the sparklings was given.

As such, with no other choice considering the threat of mutiny, Megatron sighed, and had the sparklings distributed until a better plan could be devised. The Nemesis continued to soar toward Cybertron, but the trip would take time and quite frankly, what interest Megatron had in Earth all but faded. Optimus was a sparkling, and without his foe fighting for the planet so viciously, the competitive desire to take the world was no longer present. Cybertron was his focus, even more so now that there were sparklings on board to fuel and raise. They had been at war for far too long, and now with the Autobot elites stuck as sparklings, it had practically been ended. Cybertron needed to be restored, and Megatron would see to it, if only to ensure he didn't lose the loyalty of his soldiers.

Of course, taking care of sparklings was far easier said than done. Each of the newly reforged Autobots seemed to have something... off about them. All were assessed by Shockwave and with his aid, assigned to the appropriate caretakers until further notice.

Smokescreen was biologically the youngest and based on the tests run, the most mentally stable. He behaved as a perfectly normal sparkling, with all the little quirks and habits of the newly emerged. In order to ensure that the sparklings with more... pressing needs were attended to, Smokescreen was given to the Vehicons, under the supervision of Starscream of course. The former Autobot rookie was perfectly tame for the most part and by all accounts, terrible friendly. He didn't care for who was tending to him and had a fantastic time with just about anyone. He only cried when he wanted something and was totally at ease for the most part. He had no sense of stranger danger whatsoever. His only notable quirk was the simple fact that whenever he got a glimpse of the other Autobots-turned-sparklings, something seemed to click in him.

In the instances where he caught sight of his former comrades, Smokescreen lost any and all self control. He would scream, kick, bite, and overall fight denta and digit to get away from whoever was taking care of him. There was an intelligence in his optics during those instances, and cunning calculation that often led to the sparkling somehow wriggling away and booking it after whoever it was he spotted. Thankfully for everyone, he would calm quite easily once allowed to interact with whoever it was he wanted to get to. He needed at least a half groon with the former comrade in question, but then he would not struggle against being removed.

Bulkhead was the second least difficult sparkling to handle. He and Wheeljack could not be separated without causing both to throw horrible fits and reject energon, and so were given to a caretaker together. Knockout ended up being the one to take both under his wing, partially due to their relation to Breakdown before their reforging, but largely because he was one of the few ground units that could be trusted with unruly sparklings. He treated them perfectly well and took great care of them. Knockout threw himself into the tending of his new charges, even going so far as to create carriers that he wore on his front and back, one for each sparkling. Both his charges were given ample entertainment and offered enough affection to be somewhat smothering. But of course, there were issues.

For an undeterminable reason, Bulkhead spent a great deal of time crying. Next to nothing Knockout did ever seemed to calm him. All that worked for the former Wrecker was being held close to Knockout at all times. Often this led Knockout to carry the sparkling around everywhere during the cycle, even while working. Bulkhead could not be left alone or he would begin to wail. Having Wheeljack with him helped, but Wheeljack had his own set of problems that made having him around a blessing and a curse. Perhaps due to his prior love of any and all things explosion related, Wheeljack was a master at eluding Knockout while he tended to his more sensitive ward. Wheeljack then proceeded to always get into something important, be it the inner workings of the Nemesis, or some wiring that inevitably led to partial blackouts. It was somewhat amusing most of the time for Knockout, up until Wheeljack started making Megatron mad.

Knockout has since kept to giving Wheeljack random broken electronic parts to mess with instead of watching his wreck havoc on the ship. Of course the pyromaniac still manages to escape the confines of Knockout's workspace here and there, but it is nothing serious... usually.

Arcee ended up with Starscream quite simply due to her rather debilitating problem. Anything that moved too quickly, she immediately did her best to attack and kill despite her small size. More specifically, anything with too much kibble for her liking ended up receiving her ire. Shockwave predicted it was due to lingering trauma from Arachnid, but whatever the case, she hurt herself and sometimes others because of her aggressive tendencies. Starscream, long used to tending to feral seeker sparklings, took her on as his own in an instant. He took every precaution tending to her despite her lack of flight capability. It had been far too long since he last saw or was even able to come near a sparkling.

Arcee was a vicious little thing, but Starscream handled her with grace none on the Nemesis knew he possessed. She quickly came to only calm around Starscream and her former Autobot companions as the seeker worked to earn her trust. It was an arduous process, but Starscream carefully cleaning her, singing to her, helping her fuel, and constantly holding her as close to himself as possible yielded results. She could not be around any of the other Decepticons without her newfound caretaker for fear of her hurting herself, but she was renown for the happy sounds she made when particularly at peace. Starscream has a whole album filled with photos of his adopted ward, which he shows off as if it were the documentation giving him ownership of Cybertron itself.

Ultra Magnus was a difficult sparkling to be placed under a caretaker. At first he was given to Knockout alongside Wheeljack and Bulkhead, but that swiftly led to numerous fights between the trio. Not to mention a startling lack of emotion from the former leader of the Wreckers and a subsequent explosion of it made handling him alongside the other two impossible. Ultra Magnus was a mess of emotions and couldn't be predicted at all for the most part... well except by one scientist. Shockwave did fight hard to not be given the position of tending to the sparkling, but Ultra Magnus needed a steady servo to guide him. He reacted to any sort of emotions that others presented with extreme prejudice. Shockwave had no facial components for Ultra Magnus to react to, nor did Shockwave have any outward emotional responses.

There were MANY concerns from Knockout and Starscream about Shockwave possibly turning Ultra Magnus into his lab rat or abusing him. However against the expectations of pretty much everyone, Shockwave was a highly dutiful caretaker once the mantle of being a parent was passed to him. He took all the necessary steps to tend to his ward, including setting up an entire section of his laboratory specifically for Ultra Magnus. In turn, Magnus was as happy as could be in a safe, controlled, and calm environment. He thrived in the stable comfort Shockwave provided and was content to remain quiet as the scientist kept careful tabs on what he needed and when. There was never a moment when Magnus wanted for anything, and in the odd instance where something set him off, Shockwave was there to hold him as he worked, waiting until Magnus calmed. Emotionally Shockwave was not particularly invested, but with Magnus's mental state, that seemed to be for the best for both of them.

Ratchet was an interesting case in that he REFUSED to be cared for by anyone. He was... odd to say the least. Being the most developed out of all the sparklings, he could easily toddle and was capable of managing basic words. What he said was concerning more often than not. He seemed to know things he really shouldn't, especially regarding death and medicine. In the end, Megatron himself ended up snatching up the former medic and becoming his overseer more so than a Sire. Ratchet had no interest in forming any real parental bonds, but he was more than accepting of tutelage despite his relative youth. That suited Megatron just fine as often he would allow Ratchet to roam with a Vehicon as an escort. In turn, Ratchet would visit with almost every one of his former compatriots and hang around with Megatron's inner circle, watching and learning without complaint.

The only times he made a fuss where when Megatron was eventually forced to come grab him from wherever he was hiding out and take him to his crib. Ratchet was NEVER pleased with that development. He got his energon from those his visited, and his assigned Vehicons tended to him when he required aid. He had no interest in being put to bed against his wishes, even if he was not exactly sure why. Once he had Ratchet secured, Megatron would fulfill his one vaguely parental task of the cycle and tuck the sparkling in, answering several questions and reading Ratchet a book of his choice before bidding him a good recharge cycle and leaving. Ratchet was a strange and oddly mature sparkling, one constantly hounding his fellows to ensure they were well. And despite the hatred Megatron once held to the former medic, he came to appreciate Ratchet's willingness to learn and was more than happy to give him classes necessary for a future leader. Ratchet didn't seem all that enthusiastic about leadership, but he took the lessons without complaint.

All the sparklings settled into some sort of situation, that is all save for Optimus and Bumblebee. Their situation was.... unique in the extreme. Before their reforging, Optimus and Bumblebee were bound as Father and Son. The Matrix, in its infinite wisdom saw this fact, and not wishing to destroy those bonds, came up with a fantastic solution. It simply... didn't give Bumblebee a proper frame. Optimus emerged from the Cybermatter screaming and ready to wage war despite being the size of Megatron's servo. But that was not the strange part about his and Bumblebee's situation. No, it was the fact that when examinations were run, it was revealed that Bumblebee's spark shared a chamber with Optimus's. Through some strange means, he yet lived, but was not yet truly developed. Optimus carried his sparkling within him alongside the resized Matrix, and based on the scans, it seemed that once Optimus was large enough, the Prime was going to likely go through the oddity that was budding.

That took almost everyone by surprise. Budding was not... unheard of. However it was so rare as to be little more than a fairy tale. Often it was the result of a set of spark twins forged from a hotspot not developing with enough protoform for both of them to have frames. In those instances, whichever sibling developed would eventually bulk up until there was enough protoform to break off and produce a frame for their sibling. Even in those extraordinarily rare cases, modern technology meant that it was often easier to artificially produce a protoform for the twin without a frame. With that in mind, there was discussion of having that done to Bumblebee, however a shriek of outrage from Optimus and a good look at the adult sized protoforms on board that that idea flying out the window. Not to mention Optimus's Sire coding was still active despite his youthful body, meaning that any attempt to take what he saw as HIS would end horribly. Bumblebee would be left alone, at least until Cybertron was stabilized.

Bumblebee's spark appeared healthy enough once they could strap the half feral Prime down long enough to get a solid look at his spark chamber. The gold and white mote of light spun happily around its far larger counterpart, pulsating as it swirled like a nebula. Optimus for his part was fiercely protective, and once released and given time to calm himself around his companions, he too revealed his oddities. Much like Ratchet, he seemed to know a bit too much and had little desire to seek out a parental unit. During the trip to Cybertron he largely avoided everyone and wandered the Nemesis, only remaining with his former comrades to receive fuel and check on them. Often he fell into recharge in dark corners, unwilling to settle down anywhere due to his parental desires. Thankfully for Knockout and Starscream's mental health, Soundwave, through bribery with energon goodies and respectful interaction, managed to acquire Optimus's trust.

While most certainly odd, Soundwave found himself with the young Prime as his ward. Optimus was perfectly content to remain quiet, muttering to himself and to the unframed spark within him as he followed Soundwave and watched. He was not a nuisance, and so the spymaster had no issue teaching the young Prime his craft and caring for him as required. Theirs was a strange relationship, one that never fully stepped into mentorship or a familial tie. They simply existed and assisted the other as much as possible. But of course their care for each other was quite clear when Soundwave would silently stalk the halls with Optimus clinging to one of his cables as he hurried to keep up.

They were processor ache inducing menaces at times, especially when Ratchet and Optimus managed to meet and be creepy together or when Wheeljack managed to get Ultra Magnus into a tizzy, but they were the former Autobots were Decepticon wards now. Most of the caretakers involved in tending to them would have it no other way, especially once the startling realization that they still required the Allspark to fully repair their world hit them all in the helms. That left them two choices.

One: Wait until Optimus was old enough to guide them to it.

Two: Try to focus on rebuilding Cybertron until Shockwave could find a way to locate it.

Either option involved time and a great deal of sparkling rearing in the meantime.

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pinkestlittlebutterfly · 5 months

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Chapter 136 is out and while it’s generally smart to wait for a translation to say anything Deep about it I��m just Not Going To Do That and simply put a disclaimer right here at the beginning of my ramblings to tell all of you that everything I say might be incorrect and to please take it with a grain of salt.

Anyways among the many, many things this chapter reveals I want to talk about Lily’s preferences regarding Puccini’s operas.

Again provided that my wonky attempts at understanding didn’t fail me, in these panels Lily tells Misono about how Mikage used to take him to see Puccini’s operas, and how, allegedly, Mikage liked “Madama Butterfly”, but Lily preferred “Turandot”. Strike Tanaka loves their literary references, of course, and I love talking about Lily, so let’s take a look at those works.

Summarised very shortly, “Madama Butterfly” is the tale of Ciocio-san, referred to as Butterfly, married to an American at a young age, who desires her for her beauty. When he abandons her for three years, she holds onto her love for him, until he returns with his new, American wife, which prompts her to kill herself in despair. “Turandot”, on the other hand, tells of the cruel, cold-hearted princess of the same name, who swore an oath to only marry a man who solved her three riddles and have those who fail beheaded. Over the course of her story she is challenged by a young prince who answers her riddles but ultimately places his life in her hands, until she eventually falls in love with him.

Both of these stories are much more complex than that, of course, but summarising them properly would go way beyond how long I wanted this post to be and I will just recommend you check them out if you haven’t yet. The point I want to make is that both “Madama Butterfly” and “Turandot” are, at their core, stories about love: Butterfly believes in love with her whole heart but finds hers empty and worthless, while Turandot rejects love until she sees it at its most strong and gives in to it, granting her a happy end. Love is misery and grief to Butterfly, but salvation to Turandot.

In chapter 136, Lily also talks about love when Misono calls him out on how he is not being very true to his name “All of Love”, suggesting that despite his stance of “everyone is born to be loved” back in volume four, he never really believed in love in the first place and only ever stood for loveless lust.

That is, again, assuming I read this part correctly.

But Lily prefers “Turandot” to “Madama Butterfly”, he prefers the story of a love so warm and true it melts the princess’ ice heart to that which – at least with how he presents himself in this chapter – should be much closer to how he feels about it all. And it might just be mentioned in a throwaway line, but I think it was placed in this chapter on purpose. I think that Lily, like most of us, likes stories that are not about how he thinks the world is, but how he wishes it to be – Lily wants to believe in a love like that Turandot experienced, even as he tries to deny it.

This is also not the first time that “Turandot” is brought up. “Turandot” is the name of the spell Lily is using to keep himself and Misono trapped on the chess board; the first technique that Misono developed upon becoming Lily’s Eve. In a way, the princess Turandot becomes reminiscent of how Lily positions himself in the game the two of them are playing – a cold-hearted creature, unyielding to love, and cruel in how he rejects it.

But I think there’s a little Butterfly in him as well.

We don’t know a lot about Lily’s backstory yet, and I am really mostly speculating at this point, but as it’s been with Kuro and Ildio and Hugh, to become a Servamp one’s body must be primed by sin. Like Butterfly, I think Lily has been the victim of loveless lust once – it’s just that he didn’t get the luxury of dying. He became Turandot, somewhere along the way, and how it happened is (hopefully) for the coming chapters to reveal.

Turandot found love to soften her heart in the end, and I think Lily will be able to do the same. He already has a prince to challenge him, after all. I don’t think he’s being all that honest with Misono, I think he’s trying to rile him up, to inspire hate and rejection, but Misono has grown strong and smart enough to figure him out. And I honestly can’t wait to see it.

#servamp #servamp lily #servamp misono #huge thank you to svpages for providing the raws you're a hero #it's really late and this is probably riddled with mistakes #but i have so many feelings and i must put them somewhere #servamp spoilers #girl help my neatly cropped pictures were copied in whole for some reason

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utilitycaster · 9 months

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Seeing your post about Orym reminded me of something that's been confusing me. You mentioned the gods' debate had a small influence on why Orym was getting so much push back in the fandom, and it brought to mind an observation I've had about FCG the past few episodes. The fandom seems to have put the weight of the gods' side solely on Orym, but in the actual show, FCG is the character getting the pushback on this topic from the other characters. Do you think your points from your post about Orym are the reason the fandom latched onto him over FCG as the gods' supposed number one fan in the group or if there might be some other reason?

I think it's in part because while FCG is more attached to the gods, it is less of a political stance, if that makes sense - it's much more an emotional/faith connection to the Changebringer. and it's also easier I think for people to not take FCG seriously. Especially if you're someone who is discrediting religion in general, FCG can be brushed off. Orym, on the other hand, is one of the more politically astute members of the party (arguably the most in fact; Chetney is smarter but his intelligence is more oriented towards investigation than knowledge - quicker on the draw but with less book learning). Orym is also not specifically beholden to the gods, and so it's harder to write this off as him lacking objectivity on this topic, which is why the argument has been focused more on him being too close to the case to be rational, even though that argument is deeply hypocritical if you granted Imogen any leniency about the role of her mother in the Vanguard, or the fact that she is of the elite class of Exaltants and would be granted power in the Vanguard well beyond where Orym ranks on the opposing side.

A viewpoint I saw in the fandom, especially surrounding Bor'Dor, was one that I think might be driving this. It's potentially compatible, actually, with Ashton's viewpoint, though it fails to recognzie that said viewpoint is both just as emotionally charged for Ashton as Orym's is for Orym: that Ludinus is undeniably evil and must be stopped, but perhaps the Vanguard might have points.

This, as far as we can tell, is, if not total horseshit, at least a pipe dream. Bor'Dor showed that even kindness, acceptance, and not being terribly in favor of the gods was completely insufficient deprogramming. It might be possible to render the group much more ineffective by taking out the heads (Ludinus, Otohan, and Liliana), but as Keyleth pointed out, the Vanguard has been running a massive network of cults and is fomenting unrest across Exandria in the service of the goals of their leadership in the meantime. And, as Keyleth also pointed out, there are likely ramifications of doing away with the gods she does not wish to even learn. I don't think that you can just be against the top of the Vanguard without at least being prepared to fight the rest of it. It's a very true to life quandary: while extremist political organizations and cults often prey upon vulnerable people, when those now-indoctrinated vulnerable people are trying to kill you, you can't stop and weigh the fact that they did not have every possible privilege because, well, they will kill you while you do this. Anyway, FCG is not having this thought process to my knowledge; he just trusts the Changebringer. Orym, however, does understand the above.

But also, again, look. We can talk about the characters' philosophies and politics and the role of the gods, and I enjoy doing that, but I think it's again worth pointing out that there are people within the fandom who, when you strip away the big words used as cover, really just think that the only "good" stance is to let Imogen and Laudna, as both individuals and a couple, run roughshod over the world unquestioned, or else you're horrible and evil. FCG's choice to go into the Grand Disc received similarly disproportionate hate for something that should have been an utter nonevent. I've seen people mad at Chetney, even though, truly, the most he has ever done is have his own thoughts and opinions that aren't revolving around Imogen or Laudna's lives. Orym is not even being unkind or in direct opposition to Imogen nor Laudna, but nor does he believe the sun shines from either of their asses. He is simply resolute and not going to be swayed by their viewpoints on this specific topic, and that alone is enough for some to condemn him.

#answered #Anonymous #critical role spoilers #cr tag

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safety-pin-punk · 4 months

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FYI: the author of that ""they deserve to die" is something you should never hear a leftist say. if you do, run" post is a Zionist. I guess that mindset doesn't apply to brown people, huh?

But also, you should consider that this is an extremely shallow view of leftism and violence as a tactic. What, you're a "punk" and you think any punk space got safe without a few nazis getting their teeth kicked in? They didn't. Sorry.

I hope you develop a punk mindset that's a little less about shitty bands and an aesthetic and a little more about having firmer political opinions and not agreeing with Zionists.

Your concern in the first paragraph was addressed in a previous post I’ll link to here.

Going off of that, I’m not sure what on my blog, besides the controversy surrounding this specific post (which again has already been addressed), would ever make you think that I would exclude anyone from the statement of ‘we shouldn't say anyone deserves to die’??? I simply. Do not think humans should be killing other humans. At all. Anywhere. On either side of any war. Like. One human should not be granted the power to decide the lifespan of another in my opinion

On that note, being anti-war is actually both a very punk stance AND a left-wing movement. Though I agree, it is a shallow view of leftism. Because leftism is SO much more than a single movement (like the civil rights movement, the feminist movement, the LGBTQ+ movement, the environmentalism movement, anarchy, socialism, the labor movement, and GOD the list goes on). But also. It *does* include being anti-war and anti-'they deserve to die'.

As far as Punk being anti-war and taking non-violent approaches to the larger socio-political changes in the world, I'd recommend looking into Peace Punk. It was very popular in the 70's and early 80's with bands like Subhumans, Zounds, and The Mob. Here's a great beginner article on it!

As to your point about nazis. I promise you I'm not oblivious to the history behind the phrase 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'. I also would have hoped that someone would be able to see nuance in a statement that say 'lets not say everyone deserves death' and not read it as 'we should let nazis do what they want'. Because that would be stupid. And if you've interacted with my blog for any real length of time, then you would know that I ALWAYS support punching nazis. But evidently that must have slipped your brain.

Now as far as this part of your ask: "I hope you develop a punk mindset that's a little less about shitty bands and an aesthetic and a little more about having firmer political opinions"

First of all buddy, I think I've already demonstrated that my political opinions are pretty firmly set (and that someone hoping on anon isn't going to change them). Personally, I don't feel the need to scream about my political stances every second of the day to make myself feel validated and like a good person. Because I have a life outside of the internet. But you do you I guess. I would however say that its kinda a dick move to just assume that others aren't well educated or have developed opinions when you've evidently only looked at a single post on my blog without actually looking at my blog. Otherwise you would have seen the EXTENSIVE amount of research and punk culture that I've written about or collected either on my own or in collaboration with others.

Really its either that you just didn't look, or because you didn't immediately agree with me, that you decided that my political views had a very shaky foundation. In which case, please do grow the fuck up and learn how to deal with people that have differing opinions than you without being a bitch and ranting about it on anon thanks.

Also. I like my 'shitty bands'. Get over it (Also like. Punk is inherently connected to music and shitty bands? Do you not know that? Do you understand where punk even comes from? I'm all for not needing to listen to punk music to be a punk as long as you align with other facets of the counter culture, but being told NOT to focus on music that is politically charged and full of punk values and history. Well that's a new one lol)

And lastly. Dude if you don't like me, you don't have to be here? You can leave? No one is forcing you to read anything on my blog??? Bye???

#mail tag #yeaaahhhhhhhh if your a dick to me I'll be one right back

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renaultphile · 1 month

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Propaganda for Andrew's moral code....

Time for a bit of Andrew love I think.

@telltaleangelina I loved your post about Ralph/Laurie’s philosophy of life compared with Andrew’s, which so resonated with me - they have a kind of heroic idealism which is very attractive, and apart from anything else it supplies most of the drama and action of the book!

But it also made me want to think more about Andrew and his motivations. So, inspired by the 'Hot Austen men' polls, here is some propaganda for Andrew. At fifteen he had to decide whether to throw in his lot with the military side of his family or the pacifist one, and it is made clear he took this decision seriously:

“I thought all around it. I thought there might conceivably even be some circumstances when I felt it was right to kill. If I knew whom I was killing and the circumstance and the nature of the responsibility. What I finally stuck at was surrendering my moral choice to men I'd never met, about whose moral standards I knew nothing whatever."

He becomes a CO not to abrogate moral responsibility but so that he can take responsibility for his actions. Later he and Laurie have this exchange:

“One has to draw the line where one sees it oneself."

"Is that what you call the inner light?"

"If you like, yes."

So the thing that strikes me about the Charlot incident is that his principled stance is not blind faith or rigidity of thought. His main regret is that fighting with Laurie prevented him finding a solution to the problem. He says:

“If I ... if my mind had been where it should have been, I'd have known what ought to be done, something would have come to me."

Laurie says:

"I do this kind of thing. I get steamed up about things that happen to people till I've got to do something or burst, and if it turns out to do more harm than good, hell, what's the odds, it did good to me. At school for instance. A man -- one of the boys I mean, was going to be sacked, and because I liked him I took for granted he couldn't have done it, and I was all set to have raised hell and involved a lot of other people. And all the time he'd done it after all."

Laurie admits that actually it feels good to ‘do’ something, even if the other person doesn't want it. It is easy to see that both of them have a valid point when it comes to the practicalities. But for me, the point is that as long as they are trying to impose their will on each other, and operating from a place of ego, there is no possibility of finding another solution. There are a hundred things they could have done to ease Charlot’s last moments if they had stopped thinking about themselves for one moment. I think it's interesting for example that Laurie is the only person Charlot still recognises but he wants to 'outsource' comfort to someone else.

And then I realised that when Laurie is referring back to his 16 year old self getting 'steamed up' it is Ralph who points out to him that however much he might ‘want’ to ‘do’ something, it will be hurting other innocent people such as his own family (and very likely including Ralph himself).

Often, Laurie is annoyed at Ralph's inability to stand by. The bit on the stairs at the party, for instance, and the bit where he tells Ralph "You can't eat and breathe for me, or live for me. No one can." Pretty strong stuff to say to the man you just made passionate love to a moment ago! And let's not forget the comment about the drunk trying to mend the watch.

Sometimes I think the really sad thing is that Laurie is locked in to a different system of morality (The Phaedrus), one which means he is Andrew’s mentor and protector and Andrew is the innocent and therefore had no real moral agency. I'm not sure that means he could have or should have been with Andrew as a romantic partner, but the loss of that relationship feels real to me.

And finally....I think you have made me understand something that has always puzzled/amused me a little bit about the arguments that Laurie/Ralph have. He uses all those military analogies that seem to suggest that even while he sees that Ralph is trying to dominate him and battles with it, he is also, kind of, comfortable with it. And maybe it is that he sees himself in Ralph, he completely understands why Ralph is behaving the way he does. I always find that so touching (a little bit funny too, especially the captain shouting 'fire'!)

#the charioteer #ralph lanyon #laurie odell #andrew raynes

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zahri-melitor · 8 months

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I missed writing up my Helenapoll thoughts so here we go:-

Joey Cavalieri – I think Cavalieri does some interesting complex things with Helena’s background and in grounding the fundamental trauma that made her Huntress, from the ‘danger of being raised female’ to ‘danger of being a Bertinelli heir’ to ‘danger of mob connections’ to ‘danger of being a vigilante’. It has a level of realism that you don’t generally get in the regular DC comics universe in regards to some of these topics.

Chuck Dixon – Dixon’s the one who cemented Helena into Gotham and put the work in to establish her rocky relationships with everyone else. He gave us Robin III: Cry of the Huntress which set up Tim and Helena’s relationship, which I adore. He gave Helena a clear role in Gotham as the outsider, which is not always fair on her, but provided plenty of conflict for plot momentum and let her yell at Bruce more often. I think Gotham would be lesser without Helena having that position in the group.

Grant Morrison – so DC One Million is unexpectedly good Helena content, to my surprise. It’s one of the few places outside that uses her experience as a teacher really naturally in terms of how it frames her views and actions as a vigilante (apart from all of those regular Helena solo stories where she goes off hunting down the abusers of her students, of course. Which is apparently the ONLY plot anyone can come up with any time Helena gets pitched for a short story/single issue)

Devin Grayson – ooh let me get spicy for a moment. I think Nightwing/Huntress is bad Dick Grayson. I’m less convinced it’s truly bad Helena. Now the fallout from this by creating the ‘you stole my man’ narrative that ends up being the overarching topic of the Helena and Barbara dispute (even though they have multiple other fascinating points of contention) is irritating, but it’s interesting in terms of Helena testing if this helps in any way with how she relates to the rest of the Bats. (It fails) In terms of her other stories, I don’t actually mind Fear of Faith or Spiritual Currency, but they’re very one trick only (She’s! Catholic!) with Helena. They are helpful in building the reasoning for why Helena joins with Pettit.

Greg Rucka – it’s the man himself! Cry For Blood is easily my favourite Helena story, and his hand is obvious in all the best parts of Helena in No Man’s Land. If you don’t like Rucka’s Helena, you don’t like Helena.

Gail Simone – I maintain that Simone took a very complex situation, with Barbara and Helena’s layered antagonism over Dick, the Bat(girl) costume and the two betrayals surrounding it, their differing moral stances on when killing is acceptable and why, their mutual lack of trust from previous failures and personality clashes, and found a way to work through it so they weren’t at eternal loggerheads. They were both justified in their dislike for each other, but finding a way for them to become friends (with screw ups along the way on either side) and move them away from that eternal ‘two women cannot be friends if they’ve ever been attracted to the same guy’ canard was just a really important moment for their mutual stories. Plus it was the first time anyone had really given Helena time to be in a title with more than one other woman (Zinda and Helena and Dinah getting drunk and kicking heads together is something that can be so special).

Tony Bedard – oh the other Birds of Prey writer we tend to ignore. The interesting thing with Bedard’s run is that he gives Helena the space to work as the BoP field leader, given Dinah’s absence, which is a role nobody would have considered for her until Dinah resigned. It’s a growth period for her.

Ivory Madison – I like Huntress: Year One. I really enjoyed it as a story. I think Madison had a lot of fun drawing out the parallels and future echoes in it, and I really just enjoy the background competence given to Helena even at this early stage as she learns to be a vigilante.

#helena bertinelli #writer comparisons

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illarian-rambling · 18 days

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Thanks for the tag @willtheweaver and @mk-writes-stuff!

OC Questionaire

My questions:

1. Did you have any formal education? If so, what was it like?

2. What is your stance on friends and friendship?

3. How would you describe your relationship with your family?

4. If you could have one wish granted, what would it be? (No wishing for more wishes)

5. What’s your favourite music?

6. What’s your number one warning sign that it is not going to be a good day?

I'll answer the first three for Izjik and the last three for Sepo :)

1. Did you have any formal education? If so, what was it like?

"Hah, hell no! Or, at least not the kind you're thinking of. In Edeme’eneha, a kid gets apprenticed out at ten years old to learn a trade. Given my level of energy and general enthusiasm for violence, I was sent to train under a hunter named Dzako. He was a gruff sort of fellow and never let me take the easy way out. He was a good man, Dzako was, and he did a good job with me, though spirits only knew I must've tried his patience something fierce. At least being out in the reeds was better than sitting at some cramped desk like they have the human kids do. Literacy is overrated."

2. What is your stance on friends and friendship?

"My friends are everything to me. On up the surface, everyone makes a big fuss about who you're related to, but it isn't like that where I'm from. Family is the people you surround yourself with."

3. How would you describe your relationship with your family?

"...nonexistent? Like I said, blood bonds don't really mean anything to halawemavar. I was raised in a communal nursery till I was ten, and then I lived with Dzako and his partners till... everything went screwy. I knew who my parents were and they knew who I was, it just wasn't that big a deal. They made me - so what? Everything made in the enclave is for the entire enclave, including children."

4. If you could have one wish granted, what would it be? (No wishing for more wishes)

"Ugh, wishes. I've never heard a good story about a wish. I'd wish for my brother to live again, but he'd probably come back as a seagull or something fucked up like that. Maybe I could wish for Izjik to be free of End? Mmm, but that might kill her.... You know what? I wish for one of those newfangled runic air cooling units, the ones that make your whole house cold. Final answer. I don't fuck with fate."

5. What’s your favourite music?

"Something I haven't heard yet, but I'll know it when it hits me. I'll write it myself if I have to."

6. What’s your number one warning sign that it is not going to be a good day?

"If I see Djek before I've had my coffee, it's an ill omen if ever there was one."

I'll tag @televisionjester @heywriters @xenascribbles @cartoonghosts and open tag :)

Your questions:

Are you a sound sleeper?

Have you ever owned a pet? If you haven't, what would you get as a pet if you could?

What do you think is your problem?

#writing #writerscommunity #writblr #my ocs #oc questions

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kaydeefalls · 6 months

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would love some director's commentary on basically any part of Carthaginians you'd like to talk about, but my favourite part was the second last chapter/the siege itself and I'd love to know how you worked out what trajectory to take the characters on through all the historical records. would also love to know more of your thoughts on Yusuf and Nico's backstory and families, if you have thoughts!

Thanks! <3 All right, Carthaginians, let's go.

The siege - or, more specifically, the final Fall of Carthage - was definitely what came first in terms of planning out this fic. When I first had the idea of writing Joe & Nicky's backstory further back in history, the Punic Wars were a logical setting to start with due to simple geography - Carthage being in modern day Tunisia, and Rome being, well, Rome.

So as with any vague idea, I started with a wikipedia deep dive, kind of assuming that I'd stick to the general canon template of them killing each other for the first time in battle and then becoming lovers afterward. But I immediately stumbled across the fact that Carthage's final stand, after the city had surrendered, consisted of about 900 Roman defectors in the Temple of Eshmoun setting the temple on fire around them rather than allowing Rome to execute them. Which. So that was obviously going to Nicky's arc. Which meant he would have to defect to Carthage much earlier on. Which meant I could give him and Joe a much richer relationship build over the course of the war itself. At that point, there was no question that their first deaths would be more of a suicide pact due to having no other options. I thought about having them, IDK, leap off the temple roof together or something, but nah, it felt much stronger to have them kill each other directly, as per canon, but with a complete subversion of what got them to that point.

I wrote chronologically and posted as I went, but it definitely helped going in to know exactly where they had to end up. For example, I deliberately seeded their exact dialogue together in the temple at the end of the siege as lines in their very first idle political debate in Rome in chapter one, so that Nicky could do a complete 180 on his initial stance in the debate by the end.

Embarrassingly, while that was all planned out from the beginning, I was WELL into the middle of the fic before realizing that, uh, Eshmoun is literally the god of healing. I mean, I knew that from the start, but I literally had my own personal OH DUH moment that they would be dying and resurrecting for the first time in the temple of the god of healing, and would OF COURSE think that Eshmoun himself had literally healed them due to their sacrifice on his own figurative altar. So that was an incredibly lucky piece of historical fact to tie into the immortality narrative.

In terms of their family backstories there - I think Yusuf's is about as fleshed out in the fic as it's going to be, it's all his POV and I included all the family info/dynamics I'd thought about. Nicky's didn't get as much detail in the fic, since we're never in his head and he didn't talk about it as much, but his family was the rough equivalent of landed gentry back in Genua - relatively high status for his own tribe, but doesn't mean much to the Roman Republic as a whole. They were granted Roman citizenship when the Genuates allied with Rome, and Nicky received a formal education, but their family wealth took a huge hit during the second Punic War (when Carthage sacked the city) and never really recovered, which is why Nicky left to join the Roman army and make his own fortune. I think he's not the oldest of his siblings - not the one expected to inherit and carry on the family legacy - but probably the second son, with several younger siblings in the mix as well. He has a strained relationship with his father and a better one with his mother, who I imagine died before he left home. He misses his younger sibs, who he helped raise, but never returns to Genua in their lifetimes.

So...yeah! I spent all year with the world of this fic in my head, it's been hard to let go of it. Thank you for asking!

#ask me anything #always a sucker for an askmeme #director's cut commentary #writing is hard

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another-blog-about-miis · 4 months

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A side character magical girl comes and kills sam and Kyle's witches and kyubey appears at the moment the witches are defeated

Hey I'm just gonna do text because I have no idea how to drawing what I'm thinking would happen.

The Magical Girl jumps down from the platform and stares are Henry and Austin. "Are you two okay? You're lucking you didn't get killed by those witches!" The MG takes Sam and Kyle's grief seeds and puts them in her pocket.

Henry just stands there in shock, tears falling down like a waterfall. Sam, his child, the only person in the world he loved with all of his heart, is gone...

Austin puts his hand on Henry's shoulder and looks down at the floor seeing his tears drip down. "I don't think we'll ever be okay after this..."

After Austin spoke those words came Henry's loud sobs. Austin's expression and stance doesn't change.

"We're you close with those two before they became witches?" The MG's face has a slight frown. "They did know them, very well in fact! The witches you just killed were called Samantha Coleman and Kyle Sanders. You just killed this man's daughter and that other man's nephew. Oh well, It's happens to all magical girls!" Kyubey appears out of the shadows and walks up to the magical girl. Austin looks up and glares at the creature. Henry wipes his eye and blots towards Kyubey, picking them up and slamming them against the wall. "YOU KILLED MY CHILD YOU FUCKING MONSTER!" Henry throws them to the floor and stomps on it. "FUCKING DIE! YOU SELFISH GOD DAMN CAT!" The MG rushes over and pulls Henry back. "Sir please stop! Hurting Kyubey isn't going to bring her back, plus he can't really die anyways...." Henry's knees go weak, more tears start falling as he sits down. Shaking from the fear and sadness that washes over them. "You're such a selfish fuck! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE CHILDREN DO YOUR DIRTY WORK!? CAN'T YOU DO IT YOURSELF YOU LAZY FUCK!? Austin stomps over to the left and kicks the debris left over from the fight. Henry looks up to see Kyubey right in front of his face. He grabs him. "Can you grant me a wish...? Please I just want her back! I'll even do this shitty fighting against witches nonsense!" "You don't have the potential to become a magical boy! Plus it was Sam's wish to bring you and Austin back in the first place, so if you made a wish to bring her back it could mess some things up." Henry lowers his head again, lets go of Kyubey and sobs loudly. Austin throws a piece of a brick at Kyubey which they dodge. Austin walks towards Henry and pulls him up. "Let's go. There's nothing we can do to change this Henry..." He pulls his hand as the two of them walks out of the building.

The two went there separate ways and never spoke to each other again. When questioned on Sam and Kyle's disappearance they didn't say a word on what they saw. Who would believe them anyways?

#wii deleted you #wdy #wii deleted you sam #wdy sam #wii deleted you kyle #wii deleted you henry #magical girl #wii deleted you austin #wii deleted you au #magical girl au #pmmm au #fanfic

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flythesail · 1 year

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I think the finale felt like a natural ending to everything set up throughout the season except for where we started.

And by that I mean Kerri.

The catalyst of it all is Cassian's search for his sister or else he'd never have a run in with those cops.

The last mention we got of Kerri was in episode 7. As Cassian is on his way out, Maarva tells him:

And just one more thing... Just... Stop searching for your sister. It's a fantasy. There were no survivors on Kenari. What happened there was not your responsibility. You were a child. Let it go.

Which 1) no ❤️ and 2) Maarva you literally separated them.

But to dissect what this would imply, Maarva is saying there were no survivors.

Yet we know from episode 1, there was a girl from Kenari at the brothel at one point. From the lady who works there: There was a girl from Kenari, but she left several months ago.

Granted, she could be lying. But I'm unsure why she would since the girl is long gone anyway.

So what could the takeaway be? That there are survivors from Kenari. After all, what proof does Maarva have? Does she just assume because they saw the incoming Republic ship?

I feel like we have to be missing some piece of information. If Cassian has been searching for Kerri for a long time, I'd even go as far to think he might have returned to Kenari. Like if you're going to search for your sister, it would be logical to start with the last place you saw her. Kenari doesn't seem to be widely known, so where else could you get info about it?

On the topic of Maarva taking Cassian from Kenari though, it's complex. Yes, she might have saved his life. That's certainly what she believes.

But that doesn't erase the fact that she sedated him to do so, separating him from family and the only home he'd ever known.

With this, I also wonder how much Maarva knew about the mining disaster that presumably killed all the adults. (Which, I still question because wouldn't some adults stay back to watch the kids? There has to be more going on there). But anyway, Maarva taking Cassian only feels more icky when you acknowledge she might not have even known the only survivors on Kenari were kids. Like, for all she might have known, his parents could have been nearby.

Regardless of anything said outside of the show, however, I don't think the show itself has a strong stance on whether Maarva "saved" Cassian.

Maarva is made out to be an inspirational figure, primarily by being a vocal supporter of the rebellion.

But she's never at any point honored by others for saving Cassian. That's a good thing.

It's complex and the almost indirect way it's addressed leaves it at that.

I'm trying to make a point here lol, so I'll say Cassian is conflicted too. He loves Maarva for who she was as his mother and respects her for the rebel she was. Yet feelings of discontent over his separation from Kerri are there.

After Maarva tells him to stop looking, he says nothing. He ignores that and more or less leaves.

I think a lot of it comes down to Maarva's age and also time. Maarva is old and he cares about her, so he sees this as a fight not worth having. Likely because it's been had before and it never goes anywhere.

Maarva will tell him to give it up. Cassian will not.

Now I really would have liked Cassian to get a chance to point out Maarva separated them. But maybe the point is that a lack of chance aligns with this storyline as a whole.

Season 1 begins with the search for Kerri, and the finale does not even so much as mention it.

Okay, maybe it's just poor writing. Kerri was the catalyst and they never went into it more than that.

But the writing of the rest of the show is intentional enough that I'd like to say "unsaid" could be the intention.

Maarva separated Cassian from Kerri. That's a fact and one that goes unsaid.

Cassian and Kerri were separated a decade+ ago. Truly, what is the likelihood of a reunion? Even if Kerri did survive, she could be anywhere under any name. And odds are even if he can find somewhere she's been or someone who knows her, they won't even know she's from Kenari or had a brother.

So what happened to Kerri? That too will remain unsaid.

It's a somber ending and not even an ending. After everything, Kerri watching Kassa go is the last we see her.

That's the last Cassian will see of her too. She'll forever be the little girl he left, certain he would return to her only to never.

It's an unfinished story because that's what it is. Unsatisfying because that's what it is.

#idk but i wanted to work out my thoughts fksksk #andor #andor spoilers #flythepost

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dmclemblems · 1 year

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"most of Fodlan either needed Rhea or cared about her." While this is 100% true, Hopes would make you believe that SPECIFICALLY LEICESTER, CLAUDE'S TERRITORY, doesn't give too shits about Rhea. Not even anyone from the Eastern Branch of the Church, which was never said to be hostile to the Central Church like the Western one is, cares about Clyde deliberately and explicitly trying to kill Rhea.

Which makes both Clyde's obsession in doing so and the fandom's yippy ki-yay attitude towards him doing so all the more infuriating, because that's DIRECT PROOF that Rhea doesn't need to be killed. But no one in the fandom who likes Clyde will admit that, and everyone in the game who hints towards that being the case is just flatly ignored.

Most Claude fans I see explicitly hate Rhea and want her dead and I just don’t get it. Like... I don’t feel like anything she did was so horrible that she deserves to die. A lot of things that she did were also done out of concern for the last few of her people. Much of it was fear and paranoia, and unfortunately Edelgard is literally her biggest fears actually happening, i.e. a human wanting to kill the dragons simply for being dragons.

When it comes to Claude, I get he doesn’t like her being in power, but I don’t understand why not wanting someone in power has to equal They Must Die. In Hopes, too, he can’t even really give reasons why she supposedly shouldn’t be in power because he doesn’t know anything. Anything he would know in this case is what Edelgard would know, which evidently is not much in Hopes because she doesn’t know in SB that Rhea is the Immaculate One (in the final chapter of SB, she learns it for the first time when you fight Rhea).

In Houses we don’t really know Leicester’s stance on the Church and Rhea that well. Hopes just kind of... threw a bunch of stuff in that we have no real background for. They also make it sound like a super bad thing that most of the people there don’t know what Rhea looks like, but like... duh??? They don’t exactly have cars and planes for Rhea to take trips to Leicester on the regular. She’s at the center of Fodlan, so it’s not like she’s out and about and traveling the continent.

Irl like yeah there are people in power who I think shouldn’t be in power, but I don’t... think they deserve to die because I don’t agree with how they run things? It’s not like every leader is scum of the earth and has to die because you don’t like them. It’s baffling in Hopes how people just go with the idea of killing her because they’ve suddenly decided “down with the Church”. Even if they wanted the dissolution of the church, why does that have to involve killing?

Seeing that kind of thinking in the fandom also feels so weird to me. As in, it’s just very odd to witness it happening in front of me, with people saying how they can’t wait for her to die. There are very few characters that aren’t specifically villains that I’d look at and be like “that one deserves to die for what they’ve done”. When Rhea executed people, it was always when harm was brought to people/an attacked happened, such as the clergy that were executed in Houses. Sometimes yeah I think maybe she jumps to execution a bit fast, but I also understand the people she makes that choice against aren’t exactly innocent people. It’s not like she goes around picking out random people to kill. If they get executed, it’s because the Church found/had some kind of evidence that the person/people in question did something that threatened lives.

As an example of why I think Rhea jumps too fast to execution, when Dimitri is confronted with a man who turned against Lambert and was involved in Duscur, he doesn’t immediately make the decision to kill the man. He has him imprisoned first for his confessed crimes, choosing to think it over before making a decision. Granted, I don’t think Rhea was entirely wrong since she did execute people who knowingly endangered others, so it’s technically not a bad decision, and I think that’s a result of her not wanting to take any chances. More like, there was room for leniency but I don’t think she’s wrong not to have it.

And again, I don’t see why any of that equates to her deserving death. While I understand people don’t think of video games from an irl perspective, to me seeing all these violent reactions to what she does/doesn’t do and wanting her dead simply because they don’t like her in power just doesn’t feel right. Like, it makes me wonder how many of these people would do the same thing if it was a real person.

#DCE Ask

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fairybonesandstardust · 5 months

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As someone who ships canonically suggested same-sex consenting adult incest only but who adamantly refuses the “proship” label because I hate getting lumped in with the pedoshipping and lolisho crowd ——- THANK YOU for that extremely insightful post! I’m pleased to see nuance isn’t dead after all, I hate that I’m forced to share a label with people who literally condone the sexualization of children and it astounds me that braindead zoomers still insist on putting all “incest and pedo shippers” in the same box, as if they’re morally equivalent in any way and as if incest isn’t a spectrum that has the possibility to be equal, consensual and non-harmful whereas pedophilia literally never is.

This is the sort of nuance that’s sorely missing in the proship vs anti discourse, shipping like morality exists on a spectrum, some ships are more dubious than others but there’s a difference between shipping the most dubious and morally outrageous thing there is and shipping what might be deemed as just “mildly dubious/problematic.”

thank you. i got so much hate from that post and not even from anti's (i hate these terms so much) but from proshippers and granted i called some of them weird but dude i was literally saying you shouldn't be harassed.

i have a lot of thoughts on this but i'm very lazy and tired.

i think something pro shippers and anti's (i use these for clarification i gen don't know what else to use to this is the simplest way to put things) don't understand is how fiction reality intersect and exactly like you said morality exist on a spectrum.

reality and fiction are two very different things and yes sometimes fiction can affect reality. but it is not black and white i.e if i read murder mysteries it doesn't make me a murder or mean that i want to kill people. reading incest doesn't mean you want to fuck your sibling.

also i think if you consume nothing but lolicon or fucking true crime yeah its going to fuck with you. there was a dude on tiktok who cosplayed jeffery dahmer (yes he was white). the same goes for extreme horror books. the darker media you consume the more important it becomes to consume other forms of media.

this is why i think its so important to read, genuinely read feed your mind.

a very controversial opinion but i also have been on the internet for a very long time and no i'm not as old as most of you probably assume.

i can't express this enough but i hate lolicon and shotacon. i hate black butler. i hate sebciel stans. i hate the fact that we call it lolicon and shotacon.

i don't give a fuck if someone ships itadori and gojo or something like that. its the internet and yeah its not my vibes and i prefer if we aren't all over each other.

like you said morality exists on a spectrum.

at the end of the day its the internet and instead of harassing people just move on with your life. its really fucking annoying and your not even doing anything.

one last note don't call me a proshipper ever. i am not anti-censorship and i never will be. i believe in freedom of speech and creative expression as long as it doesn't not affect another human beings rights (like inflict harm and such). i will not elaborate on this stance.

#this has been rotting in my drafts for ages sorry op.

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whatissleepeven · 3 years

Note

Okay so imagine the brothers are offered back their divinity if they kill the MC. How would they react? (Oh or for more angst- get back Lilith in exchange for MC’s life?)

Ohohoho, is this angst hour I sense? Thank you for this ask, and I’m...sorry in advance for the heavy feelings-

(Me: Okay angst time, time to play the appropriate song

*begins playing Spiderman Pizza Delivery Theme*

Me: let’s begin)

Trigger Warnings: Panic Attack (Beel’s Prompt), PTSD Symptoms (Also Beel’s Prompt), Talk of Loss

----------------------------

Obey Me! Brothers’ Reactions To An Ultimatum

Lucifer

Well, he certainly does think about it.

No, not about the divinity...but about Lilith.

They could have her back in their lives? All for the price of one human?

This human, who has caused him nothing but grief and throws themselves head-first into danger.

If this was towards the beginning of the program, he’d be more inclined to take it-

But he doesn’t.

He can’t do that to you. Not you. You, who had repaired their broken family. You, who had seen all of their flaws and strengths and passions and fears and embraced them.

You, who continues to smile so brightly and say his name with utmost faith in him.

He lowers his arm. You look fearful, but...resigned. Like it will be fine, like it was okay if he killed you.

He hates it.

“Does your life matter to you that little?”

You smile sadly, and a small portion of him wants to scream. No no no, it cries out, this isn’t how you’re supposed to be! Your smiles aren’t supposed to be full of sorrow!

“Your sister meant-...means a lot to you. To all of you. Who am I to take that away, huh?”

He walks over to you, his steps measured. You close your eyes, waiting for the killing blow-

A weight settles on your head, giving it a few rubs. “You are worth more than you could ever know. Remember that.”

He continues to walk, heading out the door. A few tears drip from your face onto the floor.

He could care less about his divinity. If he had to choose here or the Celestial Realm, he’d much rather stay here. He knows, deep in his heart, that Lilith lived a long and successful life.

You, however, are irreplaceable.

Mammon

“H-Hey...ya gotta be kidding me.”

“Well?” You grin, holding your arms out. Your stance is peaceful, like all you’re asking for is a hug. But he knows better.

Divinity and Lilith? All for killing-...

For killing you?

He hates this. He hates the look in your eyes, hates the trust you’re showing him, and hates your bleeding heart that’s just waiting to be taken for granted. Hell, it already has been taken for granted.

“What do you think you’re doin’, playin’ the hero? Wanting to sacrifice yourself? You think that’ll make us happy?!” Tears gather in the corners of his eyes.

You lower your arms, shocked. “Wha-”

You let out a small oomph as he tackles you into a hug, pulling you close.

“You’re trembling, ya idiot.” He mumbles, and you feel something wet drip onto your shirt. He’s crying, you realize. He’s crying because this hurts him.

“Mammon...I-”

He pulls back to clamp his hands down onto your shoulders. “Save it!” He barks forcefully, making you blink. “Ya really thought I’d give all this up? For something that’s already happened? I like what we got goin’ here. My brothers like this life way better than the ones we had in the Celestial Realm. Everyone’s happier lately, and it’s ‘cause of you.”

The minute trembling that ran through your body before returns in full force, tears pooling forth as you grip his shirt. He pulls you back into the hug, and you feel safe. That’s right; he’s your number one protector, the Avatar of Greed.

How could you forget that?

He grins, reaching a hand up to ruffle your hair in a playful manner. You laugh thickly, your tears still falling. “You’re stuck with the Great Mammon, and don’tcha forget it!”

Because you are his priceless treasure. Not Lilith, not some stupid divinity...

You.

Leviathan

Leviathan has always been the outcast.

His passions, his fears, his confidence...All of those are wildly different from his brothers’. He’s not as close as Beel and Belphie are, or as Lucifer and Mammon are, or as Asmo and Satan are.

He’s the black sheep of the family.

“Y-You’re leaving it up to me...?”

You nod. Oh, how he wishes this was just a run-through of an anime script. You two would spend long hours into the night reading the lines and acting them out, repeating each scene until it was done flawlessly.

But reality is far too cruel.

“It’s your family. Your story. I’m just a side character, if you will.”

Your smile is cynical. He wants nothing more than to throw his spare Ruri-chan blanket around your shoulders and force you to marathon the entire series of “I Love My Best Friend But I Get Everything Back If I Kill Them...I Have A Choice To Make!”.

He takes a step forward. Then another. “You...Why would you do that?”

You laugh, a warm sound that serves to make his stomach knot with dread.

“Because I love you guys, why else?”

Silence. He doesn’t know what to say. What’s the right thing to do? What can he do, with his small confidence?

He’s struck with a memory, of the two of you gaming in his room. He had felt terrible due to his brothers critiquing his love for anime to the point he started to berate himself for it, and you merely patted his shoulder while telling him words he’d never forget.

“There’s things only you can do, Levi. So when you start to overthink...just feel, and let your body handle the rest.”

It’s time to take you up on your advice.

“Ghk-!” You stumble as he lunges at you, the both of you toppling to the floor. He’s crying, clinging to you like a lifeline.

“I-I could never kill the Henry to my Lord of Shadows...Every Lord of Shadows only has one Henry...!!”

Leviathan has always been the outcast. He still is, but when he’s with you he feels like he belongs.

Satan

“No.”

“...Huh.” You blink at him. You’re not sure if you heard him right. Did he just-...say “no”?

“No.” He says again, his eyes narrowing. “Please tell me you’re joking about this.”

Why? Why would you throw away your life like that? For their “happiness”? Give him a break.

“What do you think you’re accomplishing by doing this?” His voice starts quiet, growing in volume as he steps towards you. You backpedal, not expecting the angered response, which only serves to fuel his fury.

“Do you think it’d make us happy? Do you think we’d jump at the chance to sacrifice you for something that’s better long forgotten? Do you really think so little of us? Well? ANSWER ME!!”

You flinch as he gets in your personal space, only to freeze when arms wrap around you and squeeze you tight.

“I was born from Lucifer’s wrath, the only bona-fide demon among my other brothers. For a long time, all I knew was anger and hate,” he whispers, stubbornly refusing to look at your shocked gaze. “I began to read to learn more, to be able to feel other emotions. But the anger and hate stayed, concealed by the thin veil I constructed to make myself more likeable. More polite. More charming.”

He wanted nothing to do with Lucifer. He wanted it so bad it hurt. So he built himself a brand-new personality, becoming someone others could rely on, all so he could spite him.

And then you came along.

Your eyes water as you realize that you feel him shaking. “I never met her, you know, but I’ve seen her through his eyes. I feel his lingering pain, and sometimes it makes me want to tear my own chest out,” he says, voice wobbling. “But to ask you to do that...to give you up for something I have no right to feel upset about...it’s something I won’t do. Ever. Not when you saved me.”

You rest your hand on his back as you return the hug, a choked sob escaping you. “Satan, I-”

“You saved me.” He whispers fervently. “Do you understand? That means everything.”

You claw the back of his shirt, your breath hitching as you succumb to your tears. You both end up falling to the floor, hugging each other like your lives depend on it.

He doesn’t need divinity he’s never had. No, not when he has you.

Asmodeus

“Oh, love...you...”

He could go back? He could go back and get his little sister back?

But if he did, then you’d-...you’d...

“I know how much you miss being the Jewel of the Heavens.” You say, sitting next to him. It’s supposed to be a quiet night, one where you both relax and take care of each other, but then this opportunity appeared and-

He...didn’t know what to do.

- No, that was a lie. He knew exactly what to do. There was only ever one option for him.

“I’m hurt.”

You look over at him, surprised. His voice is small and he’s pouting, but there’s a tremble in his bottom lip as his eyes shine with unshed tears.

“I’m hurt, you know!” He repeats, and by now you’re pretty sure your mouth hangs open. “I’m hurt that you’d think so low of me!”

You scramble to explain. “Asmo, that’s not-”

“But it is!” He cries, interrupting you. “It’s exactly that! Did you think I would actually take that chance?!”

Your eyes soften. You go to place a hand on his shoulder, only to still when he slaps it away. “...Asmo.”

He throws himself at you, wrapping his arms around your neck as he clings to you. You don’t have the heart to throw him off, wrapping your own arms around him.

“We’ve come all this way because of you.” He murmurs against you. “And you’re the only one who loves me for me. Although, my looks are definitely a strong point-”

You chuckle weakly, feeling your own tears start to fall. He smiles once he hears you, happy to know that he lifted your mood even if it was just by a little.

“-if I gave you up, these past years would have been for nothing. So, no; I won’t do it. Besides, have you seen the following I have down here? I’m on my way to becoming the Jewel of Devildom!”

You move one hand to rest on his head, a warm smile spreading across your face. You don’t notice how he looks at your expression with awe and adoration, giving his head a few pats.

“I know you can do it.”

Well. With you by his side, he can do anything.

Beelzebub

This isn’t happening. This- This can’t be happening.

Not again...not again...!

He grasps his chest and stumbles back from you, and he hears the way you call his name with worry in your voice. You sound far away, he thinks to himself. Are you already dead? Where is he? Did he fail again? Is this the Celestial War? Maybe that’s why he smells iron, hears screaming, hears himself screaming. It’ll explain the pain at least, and he would chuckle if he wasn’t too busy gasping for air.

Ah, his heart feels like it’s on fire it hurts so bad. Is it tearing itself in two? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what to do...he doesn’t know who to choose-

It hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. It hurts...!

“Beel, can you hear me? Take deep breaths. Okay? Please, breathe!”

- Huh?

He feels something on his face. What is that?

Oh, this warmth...It’s almost like-

Your name falls from his lips. You sigh in relief, sitting back.

“I’m glad you’re okay. How do you feel?”

How do you feel? You just said it was okay if he chose his angel status and Lilith over you, and you’re asking him how do you feel?

He lowers his hands, frowning at you. “...Why did you ask me?”

His voice is small. Fragile. Your heart breaks at the sound of it, tears building as you see his form shake.

“Why did you ask me, when the last time I did something I murdered my sister?”

You pat his arm, reaching a hand over to give him a side hug. “Remember what Lucifer said. She wasn’t murdered; she lived happily as a human, right up until she died of old age.”

All the more reason not to do it.

He sinks into your hold. You shoulder his weight with no complaints. “I can’t do it. You’re family; I-” he swallows past the lump in his throat, tears streaming down his face. “...I love you too much.”

Because he could care less about his angel status. Because Lilith already lived her life of peace. It still hurts, but you were the one to hold his hand when he had nightmares. You were the one who saw past his intimidating form and hung out with him.

You are important, and Beelzebub will take on the Celestial Realm himself if anything happened to you.

Belphegor

...He’s quiet.

Well, it’s to be expected. He hates humanity, and it’s his younger sister we’re talking about here, not to mention how close they were.

“So?” You ask as you lean back, the wall of the planetarium supporting your weight. “I don’t mind if you choose her and your status. It’s-”

“I could give a rat’s ass about my status as an angel.” He snaps. “Just shut up for a second and listen.”

You shut your mouth. What were you gonna say to that? An angry Belphie is not a Belphie to speak lightly with.

You jolt a bit as you feel hands lightly smack against your cheeks, smooshing your face. He tugs your head so that you’re staring at him, and it’s then that you notice how his eyes waver.

“I killed you,” he says, his brows furrowing, “I killed you. And yet you’d let me choose?”

You snort, raising a hand to cover his own. “Yep. Your move, Sleeping Beauty.”

He doesn’t understand. Why would you give him that power? He had robbed you from your family when he took your life. He temporarily washed out your future.

Did you really trust him that much...?

“It tore Beel and I apart when we learned she was dead. I-...I blamed myself.” He starts, and you don’t have the heart to stop him. Not when you already made peace with your end. “I started eating less, sleeping more. I despised Lucifer, and I despised all of humanity for taking my little sister away from me.”

You remained quiet. He lets out a frustrated huff, shaking you a bit.

“And then you came. You freed me from that place, you mended what was broken, and you-...you forgave me. And I will never betray that trust; not now, and not in the future.”

He bumps his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. You close yours as well, feeling the tears drip from your face and onto the floor. He’s...choosing you? Over everything he’s ever wanted?

What did you do to deserve someone like him in your life?

“So don’t you forget it, you idiot.”

#obey me shall we date #my heart tore to pieces writing this #this was wonderful to write for though thank you anon #om swd #swd om #shall we date obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me hcs #obey me headcanons

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worstloki · 3 years

Note

Okay, this is gettin’ real screwed up here.

I watch a lot of TV. Probably too much. And I’ve seen characters beaten to their knees before, sometimes even with collars. And yeah, there’s usually someone standing over them, and it’s been a woman sometimes. The kind of scene we got in episode 5 of Loki is not new ground.

But here’s the thing. In EVERY OTHER SCENE I can remember like this, the person kneeling is the hero. They’ve been brought down, fully humbled before the sneering villain, and in a few minutes something will happen to get them back on their feet again. It’s usually a tense moment, a “what if they break?” that makes you want the hero to win. You aren’t rooting for, or even liking in some cases, the person standing. You’re cheering for the person on their knees.

This doesn’t seem to be the case with the Loki show. Yes, the viewers may be rooting for Loki, but there’s no hatred for Sif there. She’s not proved herself to be a cold, heartless villain, ruthlessly pounding the hero until all he can do is kneel at her feet.

Except…she did kind of do that. But it isn’t treated as something bad. It’s treated more as something Loki deserved, in my opinion. The show wants us to feel like he deserved to get repeatedly beaten up and told horrible things, just for cutting off a lock of Sif’s hair. I’ll grant, it’s peanuts compared to what happened to him in the mythology. But it’s still bad. Especially since they had him acknowledge it, repeat her cruel words back. They’re playing it off as if Loki is still the villain by himself, and is only good because of other people- Mobius, mostly, but Sif is part of that.

That’s not the way Loki’s character is. In the comics particularly, his biggest arcs are always about reinventing the labels given to him, changing “villain” into something good, something he can use, and doing it by himself. Yes, there’s outside influence, but ultimately Loki is the one who decided to change.

The show is not letting him do that. The show is portraying him as a stubborn jackass who refuses to change until other people show him the light- either with psychological torture presented as therapy, or with beating him up a bunch of times until he gives in. The show and its characters are forcing Loki to become good- they aren’t showing him doing it by himself. He is not becoming one of the good guys, he’s being essentially enslaved by them, and the show is passing it off as somehow all that good influence finally rubbed off on Loki’s cold, villainous heart. That’s why him betraying Mobius was shown as so bad even though Loki barely knew him and had been psychologically tortured by him- Mobius is written as a character who can choose to be good, and Loki is written as a character who must be forced to be good.

And something about an entire show revolving around an independent character being treated as a villain, literally enslaved by the “good guys” (back when the show still wanted us to think the TVA weren’t shady as all hell), beaten to his knees with a collar around his neck until he accepts that he deserves to be alone because he isn’t “good” like everybody else…that doesn’t go down right for me.

The TVA being presented in not just a neutral but often reliable light is something I thought would change once Loki literally called out their propaganda and Sylvie called them fascists, but, for some reason the authoritarian genocidalists are not being presented as a bad thing and it irks me too.

It's especially weird because of the way what Loki claims to have wanted by making choices for people and what Mobius claims the TVA do ARE THE EXACT SAME THINGS, except Loki, until the show, hadn't done that of his own volition and was being tortured during the invasion and is treated terribly for something he didn't even succeed in doing, while the TVA successfully erase events on a mass scale but are presented as having a higher (or at best, - equal) moral ground.

The exact same thing was done in Ragnarok where Loki's "turning point" from a tricksy villainous scoundrel happened because Thor left him frying on the ground and gave him a pep talk filled with lies and general slander about how he could be better - and people see that as good because Thor is framed as a hero, and it's because instead of accepting Loki is a complex character they take what the narrative tells at face value and that is that Loki fights the protagonist(s) so he's bad.

I personally don't like the narrative pushing a character that is canonically an abuse victim and attempted suicide and was tortured right after as someone who needs fixing because he's lusting for power and needs it to gain a sense of control during a retcon which is occurring for the sake of calling him a complete bad guy who needs to change (probably because no actual original character development could be thought of?) after he was just confirmed as queer and colloquially (i assume) called a narcissist because of twisted love.

That he deserves to be alone was presented neutrally as a joke even as he was repeatedly getting beaten to the ground, and then both people he could call friends were removed from his immediate vicinity right after.

Loki isn't being presented as a character that has done a huge mix of good and bad in the movies, he's being presented as an oft incompetent idiot that deserves what he gets because he shouldn't have run away from captors, or he cut Sif's hair, or he killed his mother, or he dared to think he had any importance or could do something good, because the truth is he's an evil lying scourge.

"But maybe," Mobius says, "Maybe he wants to mix it up. Sometimes you get tired of playing the same part. Is that possible? He can change?" And everyone's already forgotten that moments before the mission Mobius said to Loki's face that the TVA has pruned a lot of Loki variants because he's so nice! look! he has hope in him when no one else does! It's also easy to forget the "and hey, if it doesn't work, I'll delete him myself," right after because the guy was smiling through it and the scene is followed by Loki really badly trying to explain the logic of being a trickster who everyone knows is a trickster.

A lot of people payed more attention in Ragnarok than to the other Thor movies so it's not a new retcon and people seem fine with the extremely strange take that 'loki is bad but he can do good sometimes,' because the character is more animated and acts foolish and that's generally more fun for comedy, which is fair for people to prefer imo, people find different things entertaining.

But I do solidly hope the show doesn't go that way though and takes a side with Loki on the narrative stance eventually because I've seen a lot of people who just. miss that the TVA's concept is bad. And those who think they're "reforming" Loki. As if the guy needs anything but a break at this point lmao he only got away from Thanos like 2 days ago please just let him rest for a bit he's a fail villain and it's cringe to have your supposed 1st open queer character get beaten to a pulp by Sif and then put wack sexualizing shots for it too :/

it's like the show itself is trying to sell the angle of "Loki is a villain" and I'm a clown who is still wanting that to be intentional because if it is? It could be amazing and playing with how different parties are framed would be s p e c t a cu l ar and could encourage people to reassess the hero coding in other movies including ones Loki was previously in - but we're reaching the last two episodes and I don't feel like that'll happen.

I feel like even if Loki does reach the end of the show as a transformed person it'll be done leaving the audience with "perhaps you're not so bad after all, Loki," and then also give credit to Mobius or Sylvie or whoever else was involved, simply because as even of yet Loki hasn't taken on a lead role in the show. I'd argue he hasn't really contributed anything worthwhile to plot either. As you've said, he's being shown as someone who needs to change but isn't really motivated to. Aw man they better not make romantic love the reason he wants to change.

#no because they're framing things that are humiliating or demeaning as *casual*#I don't even care if they wanted fanservice in the show did it have to be THAT type???#of course it did they don't take the character seriously or consider what they're doing with him despite his legitimate grievances #in a show where Loki's had literally no influence on the main plot but delaying it for the entirety of the Lamentis episode #if i was worse this is where i'd theorize about how Loki isn't a typical 'strong' hero and threatens the fragile masculine ideals of some #like........marvel the F*CK kind of message is this meant to send after Thanos throwing Gamora off a cliff was 'love' and Odin was 'strong'#they've made Loki be embarrassingly bad in fights too and what's up with that?????#''no look he's powerful see he just reversed time on an entire building on his own!!! now watch 2 guards hold him back <3''#bro 2 guards aren't enough if loki wants to escape what movies were you watching bro #you want me to believe this is the guy that went toe to toe with thor and tie-lost because he had tears blurring his vision????#nice try mcu im onto you your writing sucks #the Loki show #loki spoilers #loki show spoilers #im still reeling from Sylvie's backstory of BITING AND RUNNING and that she left the door to the TVA open for so long accidentally??????#im enjoying the show but i'm not going to say it's a good show or even that I see Loki as in-character #he CAN CANONICALLY TELEPORT WHY THE FR*CK WERE THEY SITTING AND WATCHING LAMENTIS BLOW UP #he BROKE the tempad - their ONLY WAY OFF THE PLANET - which was stored in a POCKET DIMENSION - by falling TOO HARD ?????#EXCUSE ME????#put some effort into the story you're trying to sell marvel #the logic with the timelines???? makes NO SENSE??????#the TVA either has no clue what they're doing or the multiverse literally already exists and the sacred timeline continues to be lies #i want to strange Marvel #the entire thing is so entertaining though so im definitely enjoying #ThisPostIsLongerThanMyLifeSpan #TPILTMLS

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plaid-shirtsandvibranium-arms · 3 years

Text

Nemesis: Retribution (3)

Summary: 10 years after the Avengers had left you for dead during a mission gone wrong, you unexpectedly re-enter their lives. Wholly unrecognizable from the person they used to know and now with a new team behind you, they ask for your help to stop a chain of syndicates who were manufacturing and peddling the super soldier serum. You were determined to say no until the chance at the vengeance you had been chasing for years was added to the offer.

Fandoms: Avengers, Marvel, MCU, The Punisher, Daredevil

Pairings: Female Reader x (Frank Castle, Billy Russo, Matt Murdock, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Pietro Maximoff)

Warnings: EVENTUAL SMUT. SHAMELESS SEXUAL BEHAVIOURS. (18+ ONLY), polyamorous relationships, reverse harem, blatant disregard for canon timelines and events, lots of angst, Punisher canon level of violence and gore, strong language, mentions of trauma, character death, fluff if you squint

A/N: We’re playing fast and loose with canon here people. Also thank you for the interactions. I love reading what you think and it helps me write the next chapters better. Also, I enjoy having someone to freak out with. Highlight of my life I swear to god. Enjoy!

No permission is granted to repost, steal, or translate my work. Not even a credit makes it okay. Tumblr is the only place I post my writing. If you see it anywhere else please report it.

Series Masterlist | Full Masterlist

1:3 Hard Candy

Natasha stormed off the jet and into the conference room where she knew the rest of the team were waiting for them, fury radiating from her small frame. Catching sight of her target only made her grow angrier. She immediately ran up to Steve and growled up in his face causing him to immediately take a step back. Sam and Bucky were immediately alarmed, standing up to intervene and the latter's black vibranium arm whirring in preparation but Steve held up a hand to stop them.

"What the hell, Rogers? You send me on a mission with zero intel and this is what I find? Did you know?"

Steve's eyes narrowed down at her, the thick beard and longer hair adding even more to his already commanding presence. He knew exactly what Natasha was talking about and he did expect her to react this way.

"I wasn't sure, Nat. And I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up if I was wrong."

"And if you were right?" she scoffed.

Steve swallowed hard before he answered, the blue in his eyes calming considerably. "I thought the three of you deserved to be the first to know."

"What the hell is going on?" Bucky asked, arms crossed on his chest and brows deeply furrowed. They didn't even know about any mission.

Natasha chuckled humorlessly and backed off from Steve. She ran a hand through her hair, the red bleeding into the old blonde color, and gestured toward the door at the approaching people.

"Well you weren't wrong, Steve."

Shock.

That was the overall theme of the day it seemed. None of them could hardly believe that you were actually standing at the doorway. It's been ten long years and you were like the ghost haunting their dreams during that time, a pure and kind soul taken far too soon. Hell, they told stories about your selfless sacrifice to the new recruits. You had unknowingly become a legend.

A legend turned ghost story.

Now you looked more like a nightmare; dried blood caked your clothes and skin, a cold smirk lifting the corner of your lips, and a dangerous unhinged glint in your eyes.

"Well, I'll be damned," Sam breathed. "Y/N?"

"Hey, Sam," you said, the almost flirtatious lilt in your voice sending a shiver down their spines. "I go by Nemesis now."

"Nemesis?" Bucky snapped out of his daze, brows raised high and his jaw clenched, features seen clearer now with his shorter hair. "The notorious mercenary Nemesis?"

"I prefer private contractor."

While they had been honoring your memory, you had been building a ruthless reputation of your own that was widely considered on par in violence with The Punisher but with the added disturbing fact that you could be hired. Of course, no one but a select few knew who you actually were.

Until today.

Nemesis. The Greek goddess of divine retribution and revenge. A name that suited the dark avenging persona you had adapted and the only purpose you now lived for. In a twisted kind of way, you were doing the same work they were only with far less finesse and none of the righteous for the good of mankind purpose they usually had.

You shrugged, sitting yourself casually down on the nearest chair on the other end of the long table from where they stood. You have had a long night, your feet were tired and they were still looking at you with absolute confusion and disbelief. This looked like it would take a while.

You rolled your eyes as you unbuckled your stained bulletproof vest, throwing it haphazardly on the table. You hazarded a glance at each one of them as you made yourself comfortable, noting the changes in them too. The years had given way to a solemn maturity to each one, it seems things had changed for them too.

"Now that I'm here, you have 12 minutes."

"12 minutes? Until what?" Steve stammered.

He couldn't keep his eyes off you, couldn't for the life of him reconcile the person he was seeing in front of him with the person he knew. From your expressions to your movements and even to the tone of your voice, you were just so different and yet it just seemed to make you a more magnetic presence. Fresh guilt washed over him, knowing that he had failed you as your Captain. They should have kept looking for you.

"You'll see. 11 minutes now. Either ask your questions or tell me what you want."

"We all thought you were dead," Steve muttered, taken back by your hostility.

"Well that obviously didn't stick. How did you find me, Cap?"

It was Steve who found you. At first he couldn't believe it was really you, but the split second glimpse he got of your eyes from the body cam on one of the field agents weeks ago drove him to obsessively dig further. It was a shot in the dark when he sent Natasha and the twins on the mission tonight.

"By chance," he admitted. "We've been chasing a group of people suspected to be manufacturing and selling the super soldier serum. Our agents have had a few close encounters with you. I think we're going after the same people."

"So you're asking for intel?" you snorted, absentmindedly picking at the bloodstains on your sleeves.

"No," he said cautiously, wary at how relaxed yet tightly coiled you looked. "I'm offering you your spot back with the team."

You almost choked on the laugh that just escaped your lips. You couldn't help the short bark of laughter at the ridiculous proposition. Looking at their faces though it seemed that the offer was serious, although the reluctant look in their eyes at your transformation showed their inner conflict. You straightened your features and shook your head, the amused smile still on your lips.

"Look, I'm not exactly on brand for you guys anymore." You leaned forward with your arms on the table and landed your eyes squarely on Bucky's, the venom unmistakable. "Besides, I seem to recall I was deemed not cut out for this team."

Bucky felt like his soul left him at your words. There was a Molotov cocktail of emotions raging inside him; surprise, shame, relief, anger, guilt, and longing. It was killing him knowing that he had a hand in how drastically you had changed. He was deathly afraid of finding out your full story. He wanted to talk to you, wanted to beg for your forgiveness and make things right. How many chances would anyone get to redeem oneself with a ghost? He couldn't find the words though, his throat going dry and his tongue heavy in his mouth.

"Y/N, you know that's not the truth," Steve tried to insist.

"I'm not Y/N anymore and I already have a team." You waved a hand dismissively. "Also your 12 minutes are up."

All at once the power cut out in the Compound, drenching the room into darkness punctuated by the flashing emergency lights. You felt yourself get lifted off your seat and the next moment you were standing behind a formation of Avengers in the arms of the resident speedster, your arms on his chest to steady yourself from the daze of the sudden movement. His muscles were tense beneath your hands but his expression was gentle as he looked down at you.

He had wanted to rush over to you the moment you revealed your face. He wanted to hold you, jump for joy, speed around the entire city with you in his embrace. How you were alive didn't matter to him.

Only that you were.

It was only at Wanda's warning for him to stay back that he did. She showed him that you weren't the same person anymore and that they weren't sure whether you would still be friend or foe. To Pietro though, you weren't different.

You were just angry.

To him you were still his little star despite the others thinking you were closer to a supernova now. His little star was just hurting and he decided that he would do everything in his power to help you heal. He held your head tighter to his chest, intending to protect you from the anticipated danger and ready to get you to safety at a moment's notice.

"What the damn hell is going on?" Sam yelled, readying his guns.

A figure silently jumped through the window and rolled on the floor to stop right in front of the group, jolting the Avengers to defend. He stood to full height and took a fighting stance; clad in head to toe red, billy clubs at the ready, and horns glinting in the sparse light atop his head.

The Devil of Hell's Kitchen.

"Let Nemesis go," he growled.

Natasha stepped forward, snapping her own batons in place. The crackling of the electricity from it sent lights to dance on the menacing expression on her face. The rest of the team watched closely the other entry points, expecting more to come in and if the first was any indication then they were in for a real fight.

Footsteps could be heard coming down the hallway, loud and not at all trying to be concealed. Walking straight through the front door, were two towering men in heavy military gear each holding an assault rifle aimed at the group. The sneer on one lent a dangerous taunting aura to his surprisingly handsome features as if to say just fucking try me. While the other had a burning steely focus that instinctively made anyone back off, the emblem on his black vest told them exactly who he was.

The Punisher.

The Avengers snapped to attention, each one drawing their weapons and aiming back. The air was crackling with animosity and fingers that itched to pull their respective triggers. Everyone held their breath, waiting for the first to break the standoff in the enclosed space. Willing for someone to break it.

You laughed.

The disorientation at your reaction was palpable across the room. You patted Pietro's chest, grinning up at him in reassurance that everything was fine. He released you from his hold reluctantly and let you step out of the protective cluster they had inadvertently formed around you. The three newcomers visibly relaxed the slightest bit at the sight of you.

"Weapons down," you said calmly, eyeing each one in the room. No one budged. "All of you. Now."

Steve being the first one to lower his shield was the catalyst in diffusing what could have been the fight of the century. As outnumbered as the newcomers were, they lacked nothing in skill and precise brutality. Frank followed in lowering his weapon and soon everyone did the same. There was still tension but at least it was now reduced to intense glaring.

You tutted and shook your head as you strutted your way to your three rescuers. "What I needed was a ride home, Frankie. Not a goddamn full extraction op."

"Sorry, sweetheart," he said, not sounding at all apologetic and knowing you weren't really angry if the tired amusement on your face was anything to go by.

He smiled at you, that small open quirk at the corner of his mouth that was always accompanied by a roll of his tongue. He reached for you when you got close enough, drawing you close with a burly arm around the back of your shoulders. He kissed you on the forehead, a lingering gesture that clearly showed an intimacy between the two of you. The soft look on his face was reserved only for you and when he raised his face to the Avengers it was back to the cold threatening glare.

"Can you blame us though?" His voice came out gravelly, a favorite sound of yours. "The last time you were with these guys you were captured and tortured."

Tortured.

The word hung heavy in the air and though your back was turned, you could imagine the look on the faces of your former team. They didn't know about that yet. How could they when they had believed all this time that you died in the explosion?

"You forgot to mention blown up," Matt added, grabbing your hand and pressing it to his lips.

He removed his helmet, floppy brown hair instantly softening his persona. He peppered kisses on your palm and the inside of your wrist as he breathed in your scent to calm his own anxiety. He almost lost it when Billy had called saying that you had been taken. He was usually the last one to jump to immediate violence in your group, but the thought of you gone filled him with irrational fear. The possibility that history could repeat itself was unacceptable to him.

"I should have come with you."

"I could handle it and Billy was with me."

"Lot of good that did," he scoffed, switching to lightly biting your wrist. This wasn't unusual. Being blind, he relied on a more intense physical reassurance that everything was still as it should be.

"They weren't gonna hurt me, Matty," you argued, but it was more to help settle his nerves.

"All right, leave the foreplay for later," the last of the trio said, pulling you by your other hand closer to him.

He held you tightly by the waist and pressed you close, molding your body to his in a practiced motion. The smile on his face was scandalous and the mischief in his eyes was one that spelled trouble. The cheeky bastard winked at you before dipping his head to lay open mouthed kisses on your neck up to your ear right along your old scars. Shivers went down your spine and you couldn't help the low hum as your body reacted instinctively to him, stepping closer still until you could feel the heat of his body through his gear.

You knew exactly what he was doing. He was always the quickest to show affection in front of company, but this was a particularly golden opportunity for him to stake his claim in front of people he believed did not value you enough. Billy wouldn't be Billy if he didn't take it.

"Hey, pretty girl."

Across the room, the Avengers watched on with blatant curiosity at the apparent intimately familiar exchanges. It wasn't as much the fact that three men were bathing you with affection, but more that this cemented how far removed you were from their memory of you. They knew you as a starry-eyed recruit who stuttered at light teasing and preening at the slightest validation.

"Y/N," Steve called for you, forcing you to step away from Billy for the moment. You turned around to face them but Billy didn't let you go far, slinging his arm over your chest and this time contorting his body to yours.

"I told you, Steve. I'm not Y/N anymore," you said, a fleeting sadness flashed in your eyes before it was replaced with a firm pride. "And this is my team."

"We're taking our girl home," Frank declared, the threat underneath didn't need to be verbalized. If they took you again, it wouldn't end well for anyone.

"Wait!" Steve said urgently, halting your exit. "We'll hire you."

It was a last ditch effort. He was grasping at straws to keep you from disappearing from their lives again. He knew that if you walked out that door now there was no chance of ever getting you back. He just could not let that happen. This would only be temporary at best, but at least it would buy him time to convince you of a more permanent arrangement.

"Not interested."

"Nem." Matt as usual cautioned you from being too hasty. "Is this about the syndicates?"

You sighed. Matt was like a dog with a bone now. There was no choice but to let him chew on it. This was particularly important to him because the syndicates had been running amok in Hell's Kitchen and he was starting to find it difficult to keep his backyard clean.

"Yeah, apparently the stuff we found in the shipment yard was for making super soldier serums. The Avengers have been following the trail too."

"Why not just join forces then? We can get this done and over with a lot faster with their help," he reasoned.

"We're doing fine on our own, Matty."

"Matt has a point, sweetheart," Frank cut in. "We've been chasing this for years. I know a part of you is just itching to end all of this."

"It might help us find him faster. Do you really want to spend another ten years pulling at threads?" Matt added.

You closed your eyes, hands clenching at your sides to control your anger. It grated at you when they ganged up on you like this, but your anger was more because they were right and you knew it. You hated it, but they were right.

It was Billy who intervened, pulling you again to hug you from behind. His hold was firmer than before, aimed more to calm your shaking body. His voice came out calm, but resolute. His first priority was always making sure you were okay and you obviously weren't okay with this.

"You heard the lady. It's a no."

Frank and Matt sighed and shook their heads, but backed off. They weren't about to push you about this no matter how much they knew this would help you. They'll try again to convince you later, but they weren't optimistic. It was fortunate for them that there was more than just one stubborn person in the room.

"Please," Steve interrupted. You had almost forgotten that there were other people in the room. Almost. "We need your help. They have someone who keeps getting in our way and every time we get close he either fights us long enough for the trail to grow cold or leads us on wild goose chases. We can't let that serum be available to whoever can pay for it."

He didn't know what it was that he said that made all of your heads snap in his direction. Your eyes in particular were suddenly wild with barely restrained fury. He would take it. At least he had your attention.

"We can't let that happen, Nemesis," he finished, making sure to use your preferred name. Anything to possibly get himself into your good graces.

"Do you have a name?" you ground out.

"What?"

"A name, Steve. Do you know who this guy is?"

"By the way he fights he seems to be a merc too. Looks like military background though from where I'm not sure," he said slowly, carefully choosing his words in the hopes of you changing your mind. "He goes by Salvacion."

"We're in."

Earth's Mightiest was stunned at the sudden reversal of your decision. As firm as you had rejected the offer, you were jumping at it now with the addition of your own team.

"Let's get one thing straight though, Cap," you began, the rage still burning in your eyes like wildfire. "My team and I will work with you. It's all of us or none of us. We'll help you lock up the syndicates and destroy the serum. We'll play nice, but Salvacion is mine."

Steve took a deep breath, relieved that you had agreed but also deeply concerned at your visceral reaction to a name. He had to ask.

"Why?"

"Because that's the motherfucker who killed my sister."

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A/N: I feel like you guys have more questions now. Come freak out with me through the comments and reblogs! I write faster when people freak out with me. It’s the truth. Now that you’ve seen our girl with ALL our strapping men, what do you think? Who are you most curious about now?

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