#but anyway thats how my english is right now i cant figure out where to put the time or location or shit in my sentences
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Gamzee Makara, John Egbert, Roxy Lalonde, Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Jake English, Jade Harley
Candy, page 15
GAMZEE: OoOpS mOtHeRfUcKeRs.
JOHN: oops???
ROXY: its fine gamz
ROXY: accidents happen
ROXY: um
ROXY: hey thx everyone for joining me today
ROXY: wow now that im up here its like
ROXY: idk
ROXY: i have no idea what to say
ROXY: and i guess thats cuz there IS nothing to say
ROXY: theres no words to describe how i felt about dirk strider
ROXY: and even tho he left a note that had hella words in it
ROXY: they might as well have been sayin nothing
ROXY: which is just like dirk i guess
ROXY: to leave us with a load of bullshit and no idea why he did what he did
ROXY: so im just gonna say that
ROXY: im glad that he was in my life
ROXY: and give it over to someone whos way more eloquent than me
DAVE: hey guys
DAVE: wanna apologize in advance cuz this is about to get a lil real
DAVE: realer than that three quarters of a corpse im standing about two feet from right now
DAVE: i mean i totally hate to ruin everyones mood on a day where weve gathered to think deep thoughts about how one of us just went and fucking offed themselves
DAVE: not like were gonna be stumbling through our lives constantly experiencing intrusive thoughts about this specific event or anything
DAVE: hey remember what our good pal dirk looked like with no head
DAVE: p hard to forget since getting decapitated was like his third favorite hobby
DAVE: so its not so much the body thats the problem but the sorta
DAVE: existential realization of finality i guess
DAVE: though i aint gonna lie the bodys starting to stink
DAVE: sorry all that shit i just said was a load of absolute bull meant to deflect from the fact that im pretty shook about this
DAVE: i used to do that a lot
DAVE: like basically every time i opened my mouth
DAVE: most of you know this but i had a kinda shitty childhood
DAVE: not gonna go into details but
DAVE: long story short it was technically my good ol bro-dad heres fault
DAVE: not this specific version of him
DAVE: the one i grew up with was a
DAVE: a
DAVE: he was
DAVE: he was just an absolute bastard no offense to the dead
DAVE: yeah ok sure he taught me a ton of shit that if were being generous was in theory useful
DAVE: but he didnt give a single solitary shit about raising a well adjusted kid
DAVE: or
DAVE: raising a kid in general
DAVE: i was more like his disciple
DAVE: and all that mattered was his grand design or wtf ever
DAVE: and i know dirk struggled with
DAVE: you know
DAVE: the idea that he could eventually become that kind of person
DAVE: or even worse that he was somehow cosmically fated to become that person no matter what he wanted or did to prevent it
DAVE: thats prolly how he managed to off himself in the first place considering how the mechanics of god tier works
DAVE: maybe hed been struggling with that the whole time weve been here on earth c
DAVE: who knows with him
DAVE: he was always so inside his own head i cant even imagine what insane train of thought led him to decide that this was his only option
DAVE: but i dont think hed want us beating ourselves up about it
DAVE: or torturing ourselves trying to figure out what it fucking meant
DAVE: esp jake jane and roxy
DAVE: he loved you guys and wouldnt do anything to hurt you
DAVE: well not intentionally i mean
DAVE: anyway all that shit about my bro
DAVE: im over that
DAVE: like as much as you can get over it
DAVE: theres a subconscious response to certain stimuli you cant exactly rewire
DAVE: but the conscious part of my brain is all like
DAVE: shit dude
DAVE: i feel great
DAVE: wtf is hypervigilance??
DAVE: i love being alive and having all these friends who care about me and dont beat the shit out of me every day of my life
DAVE: etc
DAVE: and part of thats cause i got to be friends with dirk
DAVE: it was great getting to know this rad version of my childhood guardian who wasnt completely batshit insane
DAVE: and like just chill with him
DAVE: shoot the shit and freestyle or debate dumb crap without it being a federal fucking issue
DAVE: and more than that he treated me like i was on the level with him
DAVE: he let me give him shit for being a pretentious blowhard every day of his life
DAVE: which i did
DAVE: but despite that i
DAVE: i looked up to him
DAVE: the way i always felt like i should have been looking up to my bro
DAVE: the way i WANTED to look up to my bro but couldnt
DAVE: dirk taught me so much shit i didnt know i needed from him
DAVE: i mean picking up dirks opinions was unavoidable if you ever hung out with him considering he never shut his fucking mouth
DAVE: but im glad he didnt
DAVE: he taught me about combat
DAVE: philosophy
DAVE: life
DAVE: and im sure had he not killed himself the literal day i was finally gonna ask him romantic advice
DAVE: he wouldve taught me about love too
DAVE: so in the end
DAVE: i really got no idea how the fuck im supposed to feel right now
DAVE: but thats probably ok right
DAVE: like its ok
DAVE: to not know how to feel when someone dies
DAVE: its ok to not have all the answers
DAVE: i wish dirk were still alive so i could tell him that
DAVE: but hes not
DAVE: so
DAVE: i guess thats all i got to say about that
ROXY: anyone else have a eulogy theyd like to give
ROXY: i think the best way we can honor dirks memory at this point
ROXY: is to spew an untold number of words into the void
ROXY: as many as we fuckin can
GAMZEE: WhAt’S uP oN tHiS mOsT rIgHtEoUs AnD fRoWnY Of DaYs My BiTcHeS. :’o(
KARKAT: OH MY GOD
KARKAT: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY, GAMZEE.
GAMZEE: HaHaHaHa YoU sTiLl GoT iT bRoThEr.
GAMZEE: mY mOtHeRfUcKeR oF cOmEdY’s In ThA pRaYbLoCk! ThAt MiRtHfUl NoIsE yOu HoLlEr StIlL sLaPs My MaNg.
KARKAT: IT’S NOT A FUCKING JOKE.
GAMZEE: NiNjAs AnD gEnTlEhOeS!
GAMZEE: We GaThEr Up At ThIs ShRiNe Of WoRsHiP tO wHaTeVeR fAlSe IdOlS oR mEsSiAhS tHeSe HoMiEs GeT tHeIr DeVoTiOn On FoR.
GAMZEE: BuT tHaT’s Ok, BeCaUsE wE’rE mOtHeRfUcKiN uNiFiEd ToDaY, nO mAtTeR wHaT oUr BaD aNd DiFfErEnT bElIeFs SaY aT uS tO oUr PiEtY pAnS.
GAMZEE: We CoMe In CeLeBrAtIoN oF tHe LiFe! :o)
GAMZEE: aNd DeAtH. :o(
GAMZEE: Of ThE oNe AnD oNlY, a TrUlY cHoIcE pIeCe Of MaN-bItCh WhAt WhOm I hArDlY eVeR kNeW:
GAMZEE: tHe DiRkStEr.
KARKAT: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
GAMZEE: ThEn, YoU mIgHt Be Up AnD wOnDeRiNg, WhAt PlAcE hAvE i GoT aLl OrAtInG oN tHe SuBjEcT oF tHe LeGeNd Of ThIs FiNe FeLlOw?
GAMZEE: tHaT’s A gOoD qUeStIoN mY mIrThFuL bRoThErS.
GAMZEE: i MaY nOt Be AlL uP aNd LeArNeD aBoUt HiS lIfE, bUt I’vE gOt DeEp SpIrItAl CoNnEcTiOnS tO hIs DeAtH.
GAMZEE: It JuSt So HaPpEnEd ThAt FaTe BrOuGhT mE tO hIs DoOrStEp On ThE vErY dAy ThAt He WeNt AnD mOtHeRfUcKiNg ChOkEd It OfF aT tHe NeCk.
GAMZEE: oNe Of ThE mOsT sPiRiTuAlLy AwAkEnInG mOmEnTs In My LiFe...
GAMZEE: In SuCh A sHoRt TiMe He TaUgHt Me So MuCh.
GAMZEE: ThIs WaS nO cOiNcIdEnCe. It WaS a HiGhEr PoWeR gUiDiNg My PaTh.
GAMZEE: tHeSe PoWeRs MaDe SuRe ThAt I wOuLd Be ThErE, tO rEcEiVe A gReAt WaRrIoR’s FiNaL mEsSaGe, AnD rElAy It To YoU oN tHiS dArK aNd DrEaRy DaY oF dEaTh.
GAMZEE: HoNk!
GAMZEE: AwWw, ShIzZ. i GuEsS i’Ve GoT tO uP aNd WiNg It!
GAMZEE: YoU eVeR wAkE uP aNd SiT dOwN tO dRoP a FaT oNe In ThE lOaD gApEr, BuT yOuR fLeSh BoDy JuSt AiN’t ReAdY tO gO aNd DoOk It OuT yEt?
GAMZEE: tHaT’s WhAt LiFe WaS lIkE fOr ThE d-MaN.
GAMZEE: A mAn BoRn WiTh A pUrPoSe. A pLaN.
GAMZEE: bUt ThE wIcKeD wAyS oF tHiS wOrLd StOlE tHaT aWaY fRoM hIm...
ROXY: WOW WASNT THAT GREAT FOLKS!
ROXY: WOW JUST WOW I KNEW THIS GUY WOULDNT LET US DOWN
ROXY: BRAVO!!! DAMN I FEEL LIKE IF I NEVER HEARD ANOTHER WORD THIS GUY EVER SAID THATD BE FINE BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL JUST SO *PERFECT*
ROXY: ANYTHING MORE WOULD ONLY DAMPEN THIS PERFECT MEMORY HE GAVE US!
ROXY: TAKE A BOW GAMZEE AND THEN OH YEAH THE EXITS THAT WAY!
GAMZEE: hOoOoOoOoOnK.
ROXY: (hey dude can u get up there and say somethin as like...)
ROXY: (a palate cleanser?)
JAKE: Gulp! Uh...
ROXY: (he was your best bro! come on man surely u got somethin in ur heart to say)
JAKE: Oh... Okay.
ROXY: hay everybody its jakes turn!
ROXY: hes got a few words hed like to say about our dear departed buddy
JOHN: (oh for fuck’s sake.)
JOHN: uhh, hi guys!
DAVE: hey
KARKAT: I SEE THAT EVEN YOU COULDN’T BEAR GAMZEE’S ASININE, BRUTAL AND 100% NONCONSENSUAL ASSAULT ON YOUR LISTEN CRATERS, AND ALSO THE BASIC DECENCY WHICH SAPIENT BEINGS APPARENTLY OWE TO ONE ANOTHER ON THIS PLANET.
JOHN: no, um, actually i listened to the entire thing.
JOHN: i have no idea why i did that. now i have this whole memory in my head that i could have definitely lived without.
JOHN: i was just worried... because you didn’t come back.
JOHN: dave, are you ok?
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: well no
DAVE: but its ok to not be ok about this specific thing i think
DAVE: so for once i think im having like
DAVE: a totally unironically normal emotional reaction to a thing
DAVE: which loops around back to being ok
DAVE: in fact im probs the okayest ive ever been objectively
JOHN: are you SURE?
KARKAT: THAT WAS HALF A HUNDRED WORDS TO EXPRESS A THREE LETTER SENTIMENT.
KARKAT: I’D SAY HE’S DOING FINE.
JOHN: hmm.
JOHN: because i was thinking...
JOHN: do you... want me to go back?
DAVE: go
DAVE: back??
JOHN: with my retcon powers.
JOHN: i could go back and stop him.
DAVE: dude
KARKAT: JOHN!
JOHN: what!
KARKAT: DO YOU NOT HAVE AN INCH OF GODDAMN SENSE IN THAT THICK FUCKING SKULL OF YOURS?
JOHN: what!!!
DAVE: john
DAVE: come on what are my powers
JOHN: ummm... time travel?
DAVE: so you dont think i wouldve already done that if i thought it was a good idea
JOHN: well ok yeah, obviously.
JOHN: but if you DID do it we wouldn’t even know right now because it would’ve just made a new timeline where dirk didn’t kill himself. that’s how time travel works, right?
DAVE: ehhh well actually
JOHN: but!
JOHN: if i retcon it...
JOHN: then it’s like it never even happened!
JOHN: we wouldn’t have had this horrible funeral at all.
DAVE: i dunno dude thats
DAVE: a little fucked up actually
JOHN: you think so?
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy
DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he did
DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his decision
DAVE: thats like denying him his personal autonomy
JOHN: huh. i... didn’t think about it that way.
JADE: dave!!! roxys wondering where you are
DAVE: oh yeah be right there
JADE: what about you karkat? you coming??
KARKAT: YES! GOD!
KARKAT: CAN’T A MAN STAND ON A MOIST AND DREARY PIECE OF RELIGIOUS PROPERTY TO HELP CONSOLE HIS MAIN BRO?!
KARKAT: JESUS FUCK, GOD FORBID WE UPSET THE CAREFULLY ORCHESTRATED FUNERAL PROGRAMMING WHICH JUST FEATURED A SEGMENT WHEREIN A DEEPLY UNPOPULAR CLOWN PISSED HIMSELF IN FRONT OF THE CLAMORING PAPARAZZI!
JADE: oh lord... you dumb baby
JADE: karkat it looks to ME like youre the one third wheeling dave and johns poignant brotimes
JADE: so why dont you get your butt on over here???
KARKAT: ARGH... FINE!
DAVE: john
DAVE: i get what you were trying to do
DAVE: but
DAVE: its ok dude
DAVE: im ok
JOHN: that’s weird...
JOHN: it was working just the other day.
ROXY: lmao john its just me
ROXY: doin ok up there b?
JOHN: i’m fine!!!
JOHN: wait. b?
ROXY: yea like short for babe
ROXY: cuz ur my babe b
JOHN: oh, haha. right.
ROXY: is dave ok?
JOHN: yeah, i guess.
JOHN: ...
JOHN: are YOU okay?
ROXY: yea
ROXY: yea
ROXY: actually
ROXY: im more than ok
ROXY: cause ive been thinking
JOHN: oh?
ROXY: about you n me
ROXY: and this
ROXY: hey john
ROXY: we should get hitched
JOHN: ummmmmm...
JOHN: um...
JOHN: ...what???
ROXY: um what WHAT?
ROXY: john cmon
ROXY: marry me
JOHN: like...
JOHN: right NOW?
ROXY: lmao totes
ROXY: were already at the church n everything
JOHN: o-oh my god.
JOHN: oh my god!
ROXY: john
JOHN: oh my god, are you serious??
ROXY: no LOL
ROXY: john u take everything so literally
ROXY: its fuckin adorbs
JOHN: is that... why you want to marry me?
ROXY: yea
ROXY: im off the charts with all my jokes n shit
ROXY: and i gotta even all that out
ROXY: with this like HUGE helping of clueless nerd :)
JOHN: roxy...
ROXY: ok but lets be serious here moment
ROXY: i actually do love that youre so earnest
ROXY: its cute as fuck and also
ROXY: i always know where i stand with you
JOHN: roxy...
ROXY: sides this whole
ROXY: THING with dirk
ROXY: its made me realize that even though were immortal
ROXY: were not necessarily gonna live forever
ROXY: lifes too short not to spend every moment with the one u love
JOHN: you...
JOHN: LOVE me??
ROXY: yea john i love you
ROXY: wanna marry u and spend the rest of my life with u and pop out a bunch of cute lil buck toothed babies with you
JOHN: oh, uh. haha, wow. roxy that’s um.
JOHN: that’s a LOT.
ROXY: well you dont gotta answer rn
ROXY: just know its on the table
JOHN: i...
JOHN: i...
JOHN: ok.
JOHN: ok, let’s... let’s do it!
ROXY: ooo u want to do it??
JOHN: yeah!
JOHN: er... i mean...
JOHN: um, yeah. that too.
JOHN: but i meant...
JOHN: about the getting married thing.
JOHN: let’s... do that!
JOHN: let’s totally get married!!
ROXY: omg
ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!
#homestuck#homestuck epilogues#gamzee makara#john egbert#roxy lalonde#dave strider#karkat vantas#jake english#jade harley#candy epilogue#page 15
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my dad got his hands on a copy of Sonic 06 for the xbox and asked me to be his play-tester after having a lot of trouble with that speed level right at the beginning (catching up to Eggman's ship on the beach) and i got as far as the Silver battle before giving up, so here's my notes
DISCLAIMER this isnt an invitation to dunk on the game in the notes of this post alright we've seen enough of that. i dont hate the game. no, really, i dont. i respect everything it tried to be and feel bad for literally everyone working on it because, from what i gather, they were green and facing extreme crunch time. sucks for everyone involved. anyway:
the load times on xbox were VASTLY better, which makes a lot of sense, given from what i know the ps3 has a ... strange way of storing/retrieving/loading data, but they were still pretty long and a little too frequent for my liking. still, probably not anyone's fault, tbqh. i'll have to see if the emulator my dad's working on getting on his PC (finally, he's been trying to do that for years now lmao,) has the same issue to figure out if it's a programming problem or hardware. personally im pretty sure it's just hardware.
it's much easier to steer sonic if you use the camera and his movement, but the camera will still fuck you over. this isnt 06 specific though game cameras are Always hard to wrangle lmao
the animations for this game are so strange... i dont say this as a negative whatsoever. it looks like they were mocapped, which is fascinating to me, translating human proportions onto sonic--it doesnt always work, and i personally wouldn't've made the choice to do that, but it makes me want to study it lmao
the voice acting as well is strange, at least in english; im not knocking anyone's work, whatsoever. i still really love the performances. but i think back to this one tweet i made about silver's intro dialogue where i mentioned that i loved the performance, but the poor guy sounded like he'd done a hundred takes of the audio and was losing grasp of Words themselves (As happens to everybody) and Silver's english VA not only liked the tweet but started following me because of it. this was during the trend of not actually giving VAs context for their dialogue, and not really.. respecting them at all, and it makes me sad to think that maybe they did stick everyone in a box, hand them lists of lines, and make them say them over and over until the director got whatever they wanted--or, on the opposite end, were only given enough time for a single take out of the inherent disrespect for VAs that's present in Many fields
the environments are fucking gorgeous and i was genuinely surprised by how many things i could interact with in the levels. granted, i did get stuck on them sometimes, but i doubt the poor devs got any chance to fix that shit. i liked especially ramming Eggman's Cerberus into a statue instead of the wall and watching the statue completely shatter, that's genuinely pretty cool, they couldve just had it be like the walls, static and unreacting. i also liked how the Cerberus decimated those pillars, but thats mostly because the camera kept getting stuck on them
there's very little active direction in the game, save for the floating (?)s, which can sometimes be wordy enough that ive already fucked up and died before theyre done talking. that's probably on my dumbass though.
collision physics in this game ... sure is. i cant remember if all games from the 2000s were like this given i have more experience with older games (pre-00's) + brand fucken new ones so someone else weigh in on this s'il vous plait.
the pre-rendered cutscenes are still fucking gorgeous. delightful.
so much of this game is such a lovely awkward development-stage kind of thing, like awkward teen years. the homing-attack mechanics make me grateful for the auto-targeting of later games. the way he goes from 0 to 100 is in character but hard to play (unwieldy) and makes me glad for the more measured sliding scale of other games. the sprint parts of the game, where youre just steering him, are so fucking cool but i am so fucking bad at them and im glad that in future games the sensitivity of the controls was turned down. it took me some lives to get into a proper rhythm with it, get a sense of just how much of a hair trigger the directional changes were. tails' attacks in this game definitely felt like they could've been much better (throwing the bombs is So difficult to aim, thanks to the camera and how long the animation for it is) and i'm glad they're different in other games--the bombs is a cool idea, just needed to be implemented differently imo
if you knwo more about the development n shit of this game id love to hear it, all i know is they had serious crunch time to release the game alongside the ps3 as its flagship game and had to cut a lot of steps from the process/cut a lot of corners. i attribute a lot of its flaws (and "flaws") to that tbqh. sonic 06 is not a bad game, it's a game that was failed by its circumstances. i dont know fully, im just an animator, i have never in my life made a proper video game.
also this may just be me but i have a theory that this game was meant to be like the Shadow the Hedgehog game, and not rated E for Everyone after all. the darker storybeats (sonic's murder, elise's death, silver's future etc) all feel like they'd have been better-executed at a level closer to that. it feels To Me like they were developing the beginnings of this game (script, designs) in tandem with the endtail development of ShTH, and when it received pushback for the guns, swearing, and violence, they panicked and had to neuter the story. i have a lot of respect for what the game COULD have been.
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sonic 06#rambles.txt#i do genuinely want people to educate me more on the game's development i know there's people on here who know more#anyways. the last bit i have there about the story is exactly why im working on an 06/johndies crossover it rly works so well man#also if you know how to beat silver. let me know. he murdered my ass a Lot#one time he threw me up against the sky boundary that was interesting JHGVFCG
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Blue and maybe midnight for one ask game, 🔥 for the other
Have a nice day/good night!
aw thank you, right back at ya!
for 🔥 i think it actually changed quite a lot! so this might be long because im not good at making..words..short? (i dont speak english sdbjk)
I realized I was queer around when i was 12-13, i had always felt.. off? Different? I think in the same way i've heard a lot of other queer people describe. I also grew up in a very small conservative town and we moved when i was 12 so now thinking about it, that change in environment probably allowed me to figure myself out a little bit more. Now 12 might seem young to some people, but i honestly probably should have known sooner i was trans, actually i think i knew, i just didn't have the language. Before i knew my mom had talked a lot about how much will power can accomplice and i thought if i just wanted it hard enough i would wake up a boy (which obviously didn't work so i woke up disappointed every morning). I went as far as to pray??? to god??? i am NOT religious and i never was (which actually got a me in trouble in school a few times but thats another story) asking them to make me a boy (which unsurprisingly also didn't work). I think if i remember correctly i found out about trans-ness mainly from Sam Collins (who is a trans youtuber) which then led me in a spiral of googling and watching everything i could about being trans and how to know if you're trans. I even made a Pros and Cons list of reasons i was and wasn't trans??? (I cant find it anymore but the cons list only had one thing and i cant even remember what it was) Then after some time i sent a video by sam collins where he talks about being trans with his mom, to my dad! He was very supportive until he wasn't and thats also another story. He then told my mom for me and they ended up both being very unsupportive for a very long time.
ANYWAY im getting off track from the question. I didn't have much energy to focus on anything other than staying alive for a very very long time and in turn didnt have the energy to even think much about my identity (i was out as trans and so on). Now in recent years first of all my mom has become very supportive and im doing worlds better and ive finally gotten through the system and gotten hormones and later this year i have my first top surgery consultation. I've figured out my sexuality (or i though i had, i dont know, i like men and maybe more??? Im either gay or bi). Experienced tons of trans and homophobia and most importantly really feel like i've entered the community.
HERES WHERE I ACTUALLY ANSWER THE QUESTION
Now i think i feel more 'free'? Being queer definently makes me feel like i can really be who i want to be, like i'm not defined by stereotypes and stupid cis-straight 'rules' that i dont understand. I'm grateful for the experiences it's brought me, both positive and negative, because it's made me more empathetic and im better dressed for helping and talking with other queer and in some ways even just generally marginalized people. I'm also very aware of the impact i can have as a queer person, both on other queer people and on straight people. I tend to like to wear at least one thing that will mark me as queer in at least other queer peoples eyes because that for them often means safe and not alone. I know from first hand experience how scary it can be to be queer out in the world and if i can bring even the slightest relief to people i will. I certainly feel more at ease when theres other queer people around. When it comes to impact on straight people it's the way i know i can make them understand more and sometimes take the burden off a newly-out queer person by answering some of the questions they have instead of them asking that newly-out person. Of course i have also gotten the "I thought trans people were freaks until i met you, but you're just like normal" which while it sucks at least they hopefully in the future will be more open.
I feel like im more in a way. I have an impact on the world and a possibility to help others like me in a way that is so meaningful and i cherish that.
what colors am i?
LGBTQ+/Queer Themed Asks
#does that sound selfish?#i dont know#i just want to spread queer joy and acceptance where i can#im so sorry this is long and honestly most of it is not related to the question#i dont know why i felt like i needed to add all that context but heres half my life story i guess ahdkfk#and i like sharing my queer experiences#thank you for the ask!!#asks#baz answers
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quick doodle
#ravio#legend of zelda#loz#albw#i feel bad that my name is ravio but i dont draw him lmao#i drew his fringe the wrong direction oh well. im busy#chrono cross is kicking my ass because i am so soft. i imprinted on kid really early. like 2 seconds after i met her#i cant shake off the feeling that im in fucking danger#i have to do my homework but i cant focus on it. i cant understand english anymore even though i read every night.#all my sentences are scrambled. it makes me wish english had more strict rules about like. time indicators#like in chinese if you wanted to say 'he went to the store in the morning' its be 他早上去商店 morning (早上) would always be at the beginning#rather than at the end or like any place in the sentence. i think. my chinese isn't good#but anyway thats how my english is right now i cant figure out where to put the time or location or shit in my sentences#im sorry my brain is scrambled eggs right now i keep forgetting i have to eat more than a meal a day#ITS BECAUSE I DON'T TALK YOU KNOW
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“you’re the most orphan child i’ve ever met” an attempt at analysis of c!phil and c!tommy’s relationship
this is entirely an analysis of c!phil and c!tommy’s relationship. im not gonna be talking about morals or terrorism or really even wilbur or fundy because those are whole other points. just these two and the convoluted abyss of “canon”
title quote from technoblade here
manburg war- november 16th
doomsday- january 6th
butchers army day- december 16th
i mean phil’s first day, the manburg war, itself implies a lot of history and relationships with these characters. tommy shouts “philza minecraft” in joy and recognition when he sees him. phil says these two lines that confuse the hell out of me. “whatever tommy and tubbo do, i’ll follow them” and “i gotta take care of my kids.” again, “my kids” doesn’t have to mean biologically, he can just be a father figure, see them as his kids, but i suppose we retcon these? because of the relationship they imply that doesn’t really line up? “i’ll follow them” is a statement of devotion, loyalty. i’m not saying his goals couldn’t have changed from these, i’m saying that in order to have this goal of “following tommy and tubbo through whatever” in the first place, he’d have to really love and care about these kids. that doesn’t line up with how people are claiming he doesn’t know them or owe them anything. im okay with retconning these because this was when i think cc!phil still believed the family dynamic was canon.
but the thing about decanonizing something big like that, is that, okay, maybe we can get rid of the conversations and lines, but then we have physical things like friendship emeralds and tommy slippers. he visits tommy in exile and gifts him these things. a friendship emerald isn’t something you give to a random kid, it’s something gifted to ghostbur—his son—and techno—his best friend. i guess you could say he was just being nice to this strange kid? but then like, he could’ve stopped at the slippers? why the emerald? the emerald is a Big Thing, no? and we can’t decanonize or retcon, like, all of phil and tommy’s interactions, especially something with physical items involved because that’s beyond spoken lines and can’t be dismissed as easily. but then it also leaves us with this utterly confusing narrative. there’s the line from the butcher army day, “carls okay. technos okay. tommys okay. thats all i wanted to know.” do we decanonize that too?? it’s a statement of deep care “that’s all i wanted to know” and he includes tommy in it. (tommyinnit haha) with interactions and lines like this, you can’t just say “they’re not biologically related, so they don’t know each other and phil doesn’t have to care about this kid.” because he did at some point. a lot. and these lines prove it. you can’t decanonize every moment like this. (i mean, i guess you can, i cant stop you) not when tommy and phil’s interactions are littered with it. not when tommy keeps a friendship emerald in his special chest right next to phukkit (a prized gift from tubbo) to this day.
moving on to tommy.
cc!tommy is very smart and very good at what he does. he’s studying film in college, he got a 9 on his english gcse, he’s got every cc he’s come into contact with singing about how clever he is. he makes character choices deliberately. i don’t wanna write off too much of this as him just doing bits and faffing around because tommy’s literally always in character. i am down to decanonize the supposed mishap of shouting phil’s name when getting locked in prison, though honestly, it doesn’t necessarily seem like an out of character action for tommy who has a history of calling for phil when he feels upset. see: “where’s dadza?” (this instance is strange too because “dadza” is a strange slip up to make. it feels purposeful. i don’t think cc!tommyinnit calls his friend “dadza” outside of roleplay. and honestly the whole delivery and head shaking is very much in-a-character) and @/my-stupid-fandoms said some smart stuff about it here. but anyways, sorry, i’ll take what’s surely canon. in the manburg war we have “AND PHIL’S HERE,” incredibly excited from him and tubbo. familiarity. they know him. look up to him. we have the heartbroken "philza minecraft?"s from doomsday, indications that he trusted phil and feels hurt and betrayed. then, we have some lines that are very interesting coming from Big Man “i raised myself” TommyInnit which are as follows “I want to go ‘Philza Minecraft, I built that hotel.’ Even though it’s a lie, it will feel true.” “And then I get to go ‘Philza Minecraft, I made this house, I made this house. Are you impressed?’ And he’ll go ‘Yes.’ And then he’ll pat me on the back and then he’ll teach me how to ride a bike.” “TELL PHILZA” “AREN’T YOU PROUD?” tommy loves phil. wants phil to be impressed with him. wants phil to be proud of him. during his encounter with the egg, he says “it didn’t hurt any of the other boys. it didn’t hurt phil.” he wants phil to be safe. cares about his well being even if this is not reciprocated by phil. he follows his “it didn’t hurt techno” with an “not that i care about techno” but there is no such denial for philza. and now, immediately after being dead and pieced back together, tommy asks after five of his friends. phil is third after tubbo and jack who are tommy’s Boys™. phil is also called for the most, four times to tubbo’s three and everyone else’s one. it does seem like everyone got the memo about phil not being tommys father except tommy.
there’s a theory around that like, wilbur found tommy and brought him home and so tommy grows up looking up to phil but phil doesn’t reciprocate. this gets to keep the kind of found family on tommy’s end but maintains the “loosely connected strangers” thing for phil. i think maybe this holds more credence than anything else, but also, “loosely connected strangers” just doesn’t add up with the stuff i’ve mentioned before: friendship emeralds, “tommys okay,” there had to be some reciprocity to their familial-ish (or at least caring) relationship. he visited him in exile. he gave him the emerald. he said all those lines. there was a relationship there. of care. of trust. where tommy saw him as someone to look up to, to protect him. at any rate, i like the theory and since we simply have No Backstory for canon sbi at all, it works just fine even if it still just doesn’t fit.
closing
honestly i don’t know what this is. this is all the evidence, all the information i have. there’s no way they were strangers. tommy obviously definitively looks up to and cares about phil. this was reciprocated to some degree beyond “i kind of know you.” i’m a big defender of c!tommyinnit and that surely comes across here. i mostly just did this to get everything i have about c!phil and c!tommy’s out and to figure out what i actually make of it and all the confusion about it. this is here and the clips are linked, draw your own conclusions that are smarter and more concise than mine.
#tommyinnit#c!philza critical#dream smp#mcyt#dsmp#dsmp analysis#wanted to get this out before the stream just in case#other possible titles were 'father? i hardly know him'#and 'schrodingers daddy issues'
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Crim pls do a J/N fic rec post at some point in the future I trust you more than I trust myself looking rouge through AO3
im kinda eh abt the concept of fic recs myself just bc the whole 'Different Strokes For Different Folks' thing (idk how many times someone i liked in a fandom made a fic rec list and i ended up not liking anything they posted). plus i have weirdly specific tastes and i.. .. honestly havent read a ton of joenicky fic! (i have a FAT to-read list) but ive been asked this a couple times now so i will slap together a couple joenicky fics i like (not comprehensive, i only spent like 15 minutes making this. also not in any particular order.)
Kiss Each Other Clean by moodlighting
i like this whole fic, but the last 6 or so paragraphs in particular SEND ME TO SPACE, i love cuddling. also [joe voice] nickel neekee
what you seek is seeking you by bankrobbery
i actually recced this one once before. idk its cute i just Like It. (also nicky pretending not to know english bc a customer is pissing him off is Very Funny and i love it)
with every inch of my heart by smilebackwards
i like this one a lot, i think nickys pov should Always be this tender. i dont like miscommunication trope much, (esp with joenicky) but i do like this fic-- the miscommunication in question is far-fetched but its joenicky so of course it is. just enjoy the Angst™
i love michelangelo seeing nicky all dirty and bloody after a fight and being like 'DAMN this bitch is fine' (same). (AND the fact that nicky only agrees to travel with him in the name of wasting the pope's money lmao). the fact that joe and nicky broke up But They Still Snuggle. nile knowing like 2 things about joe and nicky's breakup & pretty much immediately taking nicky's side. joe looking at the creation of adam and bein like 'EH'.
nicky carrying around his little joe drawing? nicky carrying around a spare toothbrush for booker? nicky telling little children stories about a princess locked in a coffin under the sea? ('perhaps someday, if an iron coffin is caught in a net or washed up onto the shore, they’ll remember the princess, a victim and not a monster' EXCUSE ME)
(also 'I have drawn you a thousand times since we parted. I sculpted your likeness, just so that I could pretend to cup your cheek. You are so much warmer than marble, hayati.' R O M A N C E)
Pas Un Ange by inlovewithnight
there are a lot of fics i love in a way thats like 'this fic is fun but it doesnt feel like something that would happen in the Actual Canon' (which is fine!) but this one Does feel like it could happen in The Actual Canon which is cool
this fic also has probably my favorite depiction of nicky's relationship with god/religion in any fic ive read ('[nicky's] peace had come only after walking away from faith as a competition of intensity in favor of faith as a steady compass that he followed like the beat of his heart in his chest.'). i love the whole Drama played out by the background characters and how they all have their own ideas and motivations & nicky is just kind of resigned to being caught in the middle of it.
(also love how near the beginning joe's like 'the Right thing to do in the situation would be stay at this river and help these people.... ... ....... ... .... ... anyways see ya guys later gotta go find nicky'.)
also joe chatting up a pig and the five minutes later chatting up some goats was so cute. & nicky trying to tell the baby's mother how to save it!!!! </3 AND THEY ARGUE ABOUT CHARITY on the way home (not before joe injects a comment abt nickys ass into regular conversation bc Romance™) its a bit of a sad fic tho, that poor baby 🥺
Intercession by PrincessDesire
can i interest you in some Swamp Man Nicky in this trying time?
someone recced this fic to me and i dont remember who. but note that the major character death tag is not, in fact, for a major character but for a background one. neither joe or nicky perma!die in this. also normally i dont like fics where joe or nicky are bi bc Thats Not Canon Babey but i do like this one, i love joe's relationship with Grace and how nicky's perception of that relationship gets flipped on its head halfway thru the fic. i also love joe's Weariness Of Immortality, like when joe talks about how 'youthful' nicky makes him feel. his pov just kind of Feels like an old man and i like it
theres a smut scene in this fic which im personally not big on smut scenes but theres this bit where joe tries to figure out condoms and its very cute. also 'You have many kinds of magic, Nicky. All your spells have worked.' ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
also i just like how WHIPPED joe is from like the first 3 seconds he sees nicky. theres one bit where nicky's like 'ill come visit you!' and joe's like 'when🥺' and nicky's like 'as soon as you like!' and joes like 'now?????🥺🥺🥺 literally come home with me???' incredible.
also the Magic System was cool. i also love how nicky just Accidentally made himself immortal. what a man. also i like this line 'it would never occur to [nicky] to attend any service that wasn’t going to have a direct outcome. Grace takes comfort from it, so maybe that’s the only outcome needed.' idk its so sweet
edit: also i cant believe i forgot the iconic line 'Yusuf is a man of two minds, one large and underutilized, the other small and underutilized.' absolutely iconic & relatable
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Easy As A-B-C
Pairing: Professor!Gwilym Lee x Reader
Summery: Professor Lee is getting sick of marking papers, you offer an alternative. One where he doesn't need to think at all.
Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected sex, bimbofication (without hypnosis), oral sex (m and f receiving), hand job, light dom/sub dynamic, dom!reader, sub!Gwil, overstimulation, maybe a little bit of hair pulling
Words: 4,537
A/N: This was massively massively inspired by my love @dracoladon and her Drarry fic Lucid (seriously, go read it because she’s a much better writer than me and also sex dumb Draco is hhhhhhh). Reading it made me want to write more himbo fics but without all the hypnosis stuff thats in my Future Management series. Then I got talking to @peachydeacon about himbo!Rog which led to talking about himbo!Gwil and this fic is the result of our discussion lmao. It was also partly inspired by a post on a porn blog that popped up on my dash but I can’t link to that because tumblrs dumb.
Also, it is a professor gwil fic but set after reader has graduated so it’s all above board lmao
Blurb Advent: Day 24
Taglist: @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini
Gwilym looked unreasonably hot while he was grading papers, his brow knitted, wearing a look of serious concentration made all the more noticeable by the reading glasses sliding down his nose. His loose tie and the undone top buttons of his business shirt lent him a casually dishevelled air, and that wasn’t even mentioning the way he absentmindedly twisted his pen between his fingers as he read and reread sentences he was struggling to understand, occasionally pausing to underline something or write a note in the margins. It all painted a very sexy image, the kind of serious sexy only a professor could achieve, though this sexiness was nowhere near new. You’d found his manner oddly arousing even when he’d been your professor. Of course, that had been a few years ago and well before you’d had your chance encounter in the local second hand bookstore that led you to ask him out. He’d stuttered out something about never having even thought of you as more than his student and “really I feel almost as if I’ll get in trouble for the conversation as soon as I get back to campus.” But the awkwardness soon changed when you confessed to having had a minor crush on him back in the day and having since hoped to run into him. He seemed more open to the idea of dinner with you after that and, if you were being honest, more cocky too, but cocky in a decidedly dignified and charming way. Anyway, one thing led to another and now here you were somewhere close to a year and half later and you were struggling not to stare at Gwil as he graded papers and looked professor-ally disarrayed and hot.
You knew it was something to do with the Romantic era poets that the students had to write about because he’d read a question out to you earlier to get your opinion of if it was confusingly worded.
“No, I don’t think so,”
“Then why in god’s name do none of my students get it?” he looked about ready to hit his head against the desk until he passed out but he returned to the topmost paper with a sigh and ruffled hair from where he’d run his hand through it. That’s when you’d started trying not to stare. A tall order when all you could think about was dragging Gwil to the bedroom and ravishing him enough to make him forget all about John Keats and poetry and the English language itself. Not that that was exactly hard. No, Gwilym had a tendency to get a little dazed and confused when you really gave it to him. Sex drunk you’d decided to call it. A transformation that you quite delighted in witnessing and causing. Gwil was sharp as a tack usually, always ready with some obscure fact or quote from literature. It was part of what made him such a good teacher, his memory for all things bookish, as well as his approachable (if a little stern) demeanour and his determination to get the best from his students. But it wasn’t hard to shut down his brain, cloud his memory and entirely befuddle him. One time you’d snuck into the bathroom at the restaurant you’d gone to for dinner and poor Gwilym had become so spaced out he’d spilt half a glass of wine in his lap and then walked into the glass door as you left, even with you leading him by the hand. You supposed that what they said about great power and responsibility was true. All the same, it was a fun power to wield and you knew that, with the right sort of attention, you could have Gwilym babbling incomprehensible gibberish with no memory of what a poem even was, which was surely something he’d appreciate right about now.
You blinked yourself from your reverie as, finally, Gwil set his glasses aside and rose from his seat, groaning as he stretched out the stiffness in his back. He rolled his neck back and forth, your eyes following, before letting his shoulders drop and moving to sit next to you on the couch.
“I can’t do it anymore, I can’t read another word about Byron or I’ll loose it.” He sighed, draping an arm around your shoulders and leaning into your neck.
“Byron? I remember that assignment. Everyone hated you for it,”
His breath was warm against your skin as he spoke, sending a tingle down your spine, “Well if this year’s lot is anything to go by, the feeling was probably mutual,”
“Mmm, I remember one girl saying she was going to shove her copy of Don Juan up your arse if she didn’t pass,”
He lifted his head again and laughed, “And yet my rectum remains Byron fee and no other injuries befell me, so either I taught you enough to get by or you were all a bunch of cowards,”
“Bit of both probably. And why would this year’s be any different, huh?”
“I don’t know, you haven’t read any of their attempts at cohesive analysis. Some of them are just throwing out terms like allusion and anapestic and personification all willy-nilly, clearly without properly understanding them. ”
“I think you’re being too harsh on them. They’re first years after all and it’s not always easy to understand all that poncy poetical bullshit. Plus, you know it all already so of course everyone else seems stupid to you,”
“Maybe,” he conceded, though it seemed to take some effort.
“Honestly, someone should put you in their position, see how well you go with it,”
“Yeah? And who would do something like that?” Gwilym laughed as you shifted to straddle his lap, accepting the kiss you offered, “You?”
“Maybe I will. Spell personification for me,”
“You know it’s not high school English, right. We don’t do pop quizzes on spelling and grammar.”
“I know you don’t, but this is my subject and I’m testing spelling. Besides,” you let your hand drop between you, brushing lightly over the front of his pants, “I promise it’ll be fun.”
Gwil gave a half-hearted eye roll, “P-E-R-S-O-N-I-F-I-C-A-T-I-O-N, personification. D’you want me to use it in a sentence too?”
You knew he’d get it right. Gwil always had been good at spelling off the top of his head which you supposed was a side effect of all his reading and the years devoted to the written word. But it was still a little annoying. Mostly because he was being a bit of a tool about the whole thing, but it didn’t help that you’d grown quite wet thinking about how you’d like to have him, like to turn him into the fucked out airhead you’d seen before. You shook your head and tutted at him as if he got it wrong.
“No, that’s definitely it. I’ve just read it about a hundred times, I know I’m right. P-E-R-S-O-N-I-F-I-C-A-T-I-O-N,” he spelt it faster that time, trying to prove that you were wrong.
“Try allusion for me,”
“A-L-L-U-S-I-O-N,”
Right again. You sighed as if you were disappointed.
Gwilym raised his eyebrows but said nothing.
“What about caesura?”
“C-E-A-S-U-R-A,”
The mistake was an easy one to make, two letters flipped around the wrong way, and you could tell he knew it was wrong as soon as he’d said it. He was surprised when you leant forward to kiss him again, cupping his jaw with one hand as you dropped the other and slowly pulled down the zip on his work pants.
“But I fucked up,” he said softly, eyes still closed as you pulled away a few centimetres.
You just smiled as you thought of a new word, “Anapestic,”
It was another word Gwil had mentioned as seeing in his student’s essays so you knew it would be fresh in his mind and he proved as much when he spelt it, “A-N-A-P-E-S-T-I-C,”
He was right of course, so you tutted and pulled your hand away from his crotch, grabbing his chin with your other and forcing him to look at you, “You can do better than that.”
His features shifted at the sudden loss of contact, the look of concentration returned once more.
If anything, your much closer proximity to the expression made him seem all the more hot but you resisted the urge to give in and drag him to the bedroom, curious if he’d catch onto your little game now and, equally so, to see if he’d play along, “Try Onomatopoeia.” A longer word gave him more chances to get things wrong but would his pride and his brain allow that? Apparently so.
“O-N-O-M-” Gwil paused and thought for a second, his eyes narrowed as his looked at you, “O-N-O-M-A-T-O-P-I-A,” the last three letters were said with such deliberate diction that you knew he’d figured it out.
“Good boy,” you said, letting your hands slip inside his undone pants to massage his dick.
His hips jolted at the contact and he let his hands fall to your arse, squeezing.
“What about, dactyl?”
His reply was instant, unthinking, and totally correct, “D-A-C-T-Y-L,”
You clicked your tongue condescendingly as you once again removed your hands from him.
“Fuck,”
“Well that’s what happens when you get things wrong, honey, and such an easy one too,”
“I didn’t get it wro- fine, give me another,”
You smiled, unable to hide how delighted you were that he was interested in following your rules, even if it was just his competitive streak rearing its head to show that he could out smart you, “Assonance,”
Gwilym spelt the word slowly and carefully, making sure to only say one ‘s’ and to leave off the ‘e’. And you made sure to reward him for it, shuffling backwards on his lap so you could shimmy his pants down his thighs and wrap your hand around his cock. He raised an eyebrow at you but otherwise made no comment as he leant back in his seat to enjoy the attention.
“Romanticism,”
Once again Gwilym was careful with his spelling, intentionally replacing the ‘c’ with a double ‘s’ but that was the kind of behaviour you wanted to encourage so you kept stroking him off, twisting your wrist, dragging your thumb over his flushed tip. It must have felt good with the way he was sighing, shifting his shoulders as if to move his whole body closer to yours.
“So clever baby, what about,” you paused, dredging up memories of poetry analysis and the words you used to have burned into your brain but which you’d not had much use for recently, “Enjambment”
“Ummm, E-N,” Gwil hummed as you leant over him and let a trail of spit drip onto his cock, using your hand to spread it over his length, “Enjamb-ment, uh, E-N-J-A- no E, no A, M-E-N-T,”
You leant into his ear and spoke softly, “That’s right, being so good for me, so clever. What should I do next though? Ride you? Or maybe suck you off? Or just keep doing this?”
“Uh,” Gwilym shook his head a little as if to clear it, “mouth? Please?”
“Of course, baby. If you can spell dissonance for me.” You were quietly confident that he’d get the spelling wrong, already noticing the first sign of his impending brainlessness, extra filler words where he’d normally not need them. It was funny though, usually he wouldn’t reach that stage until he was much closer to nutting.
“D-I-S” he rushed through the first three letters and then stopped, biting his lip, “T-um, A-N-E-N-C-E.”
You were sure the errors in that word were less intentional than the previous few and, as promised, slipped off his lap and settled yourself between his legs, pulling his pants off so he could spread them wider for you. You held eye contact as you let your tongue trail along the underside of his cock, tracing along a vein, though you couldn’t help but smile as he groaned above you.
“Can you spell Decasyllable for me?” you asked before closing your lips around the head of his cock.
“What? Oh, um, D-E-C-K- fuck,” he broke off as you swirled your tongue around his tip.
“Fuck’s not a letter, baby,” you sank down on him again, bobbing a little lower.
“I know, um, Deck-syllable, D-E-C-K-A-S-Y-B-L-E, I think. Is that right?”
In answer you hummed and took him a little deeper, pushing his shirt up towards his chest.
Gwilym took the hint and pulled it off before he grabbed your hair, leaning his head against the back of the couch. For a moment you just focused on sucking him off, listening to his shallow breathing and whiny groans. But you weren’t finished with your game yet.
“Epigraph?” you asked before bobbing down on him again, pushing yourself to take him deeper still.
Gwilym remained silent as you gagged and pulled back from him again to breath freely.
“Well?”
“What did you say?”
“Epigraph. Can you spell that?”
He nodded as you resumed your bobbing, his hand grabbing at your hair, “E-P-P-E-G-R-A-F-F.”
You hummed around him and his hips bucked up, pushing him further down your throat for a second.
“No, don’t stop,” he whined under his breath as once again you let him fall from between your lips.
“Sorry baby,” you wrapped your hand around his base and switched back to jerking him off, “you’re so hard though and I know you want to earn your orgasm like a good boy,”
Gwilym nodded.
“Okay, so spell meter,”
“M- oh, I don’t know,”
“You do know, baby, you just gotta try. Meter,”
He scrunched his face up in thought, “M-E-E-T-R,”
“See, I said you knew it, and you did it so well!”
Gwilym gave you a dopey smile, looking proud at your praise, “I did?” His mouth dropped open with the movement of your hand.
“Of course baby! You got it completely right because you’re so clever. What about sonnet, do you think you can do that one for me?”
He nodded enthusiastically, “S-N-E-T,”
“Very good! Okay, three more and I’ll let you cum,”
“Okay!”
“Okay, what about,” you thought for a moment, watching your hand pumping over his shaft as you trailed your fingernails lightly over his thigh, “Spell rhyme,”
“Ummm,” Gwilym bit his lip in thought, soft grunting noises rising in his throat in time with your strokes.
“It’s a bit of a tricky one,”
“Yeah.”
“And it’s hard to concentrate isn’t it?”
“Mmhmm, so hard to con-ten-tate,” he thought for a little longer as you slowed your hand, “rrr- R-I-M,”
“So clever baby! Okay canto,”
“Oh! Ummm,” Gwilym pouted and whined as you unexpectedly drew the tip of your tongue around his head, “I don’ know,”
“No?”
He shook his head, eyebrows furrowed.
“Okay what about, poem?”
Gwilym seemed to have reached the last dregs of his knowledge, grunting in frustration as he shook his head again.”
“You sure you don’t know?”
He bucked his hips up into your hand as he shook his head again.
“Alright, I’ll give you an easy one then. Spell your name for me, spell Gwilym,”
Gwil’s eyes lit up at the suggestion but his face quickly slipped into a frown again, the expression getting more pronounced with every passing second he didn’t say anything. He sought out your face, his eyes brimming with frustrated tears, “I don’t…” his fists balled up as he looked to you for help.
“You don’t remember?”
He shook his head once more, a tear shaking loose and rolling down his cheek, “you said it was easy.”
“It’s okay if you don’t know,”
“Really?” he sniffled.
“Of course it’s okay. You’re not supposed to know things.”
“I’m not?”
“Awww, of course not baby. That’s why I’m here, to know things, and you’re just here to make me happy.”
Gwilym sighed and leaned back against the couch, smiling again.
“Do you want to give it a try for me?”
“Umm,” he whined as you slowed your strokes
“It would make me very happy,”
“Okay, umm…G? L? ummmm, M?”
“You’re so clever, baby!”
Gwilym giggled proudly and grinned at you as you adjusted your grip on his cock.
“You’re my good, smart boy, aren’t you baby?”
“Mmhmm,” he bucked his hips towards you as you took him into your mouth again. “Feels go-od,” he mumbled, almost panting with how close he was. You dragged the hand that rested on his thigh up to cup his balls as you sucked on his tip until he moaned and came, spilling his seed over your tongue.
You kept working your hand along his length, even after you’d pulled your mouth from him.
“Was that a good orgasm baby? Did it make you feel good?”
He nodded, pouting a little as you kept wanking him, “good oggsam,”
It took all your effort not to laugh at that, biting on the inside of your cheek to keep from letting so much as a chuckle slip. Very few things delighted you as much as when Gwil forgot how to talk properly.
“You know,” you said as you finally let his cock free, “sometimes when people have orgasms they feel euphoric. Do you feel euphoric?”
“Mmhmm, you-porik.”
“Clever boy. Do you want to help me feel euphoric?”
“How?”
“With your mouth,”
“Oh! Okay!”
You braced yourself against his knees as you stood, leaning forward to give Gwil a small kiss on the lips. He closed his eyes and smiled up at you contentedly as you shimmied out of your own clothes, dropping them all to the floor.
“You going to let me lie down?” you asked, tapping Gwil on the shoulder.
He looked around confusedly for a moment before his eyes settled on you, growing wider as he realised how naked you were. Without warning he surged forward, his hands grabbing your arse as he nuzzled his face in the valley between your breasts.
If it were up to Gwil he would have stayed there all day but you had need for him elsewhere so you yanked his head back by his hair, earning a small noise of displeasure.
“Don’t complain, baby. You want to make me feel euphoric, right?”
“Mmhmm,” he hummed earnestly.
“And how do you think you could do that?”
“I don’t know,”
“Maybe, cunnilingus?”
“cun-un-un-un-gus,”
“Exactly,” you directed his gaze down to your pussy, failing to hide your amused grin. But he was too far gone to notice, happily slipping to his knees in front of you. Telling him to wait for a second, you climbed onto the couch and spread your legs, beckoning him between them once you were comfortable.
He hadn’t been able to say the word but that didn’t mean he wasn’t skilled at the act. A string of soft hums and throaty sounds rose to your lips as he licked your cunt, the scratchy sensation of his beard only amplifying the soft, wet, warmth of his tongue.
“Can you, oh, can you spell poem for me baby?”
Gwilym hummed and then started naming letters, his mouth still pressed against your cunt as if he didn’t realise he couldn’t talk and suck at the same time. You didn’t bother to stop him when he said too many letters or correct him when all of them were wrong. You just let his breath wash over you, his tongue flicking against your clit with each new letter, eliciting longer moans and sighs from you.
“Fuck Gwil,” you panted, “keep going,”
“Keep going,” he repeated, his voice muffled as he dragged his tongue all the way down your slit and then back up again, making you whine.
You jolted when he reached your clit again and pressed against his head, keeping him close to you, your other hand trailing up your chest to tweak your nipples and knead your breasts. Occasionally you’d give him an instruction – “faster please,” or “do that again,” or “fuck Gwil, right there,” – and he’d repeat the words back to you, softened and often a little slurred together or mispronounced, before doing as he was asked, drawing you closer to release. He was pleased whenever another groan or mewl slipped from your lips, responding to them with sounds of his own as if he were savouring a particularly delicious meal. It seemed he’d taken what you’d said about making you happy to heart, though some of his whines might have had more to do with his cock, hard again and straining to be touched as his attention remained focused on you.
“I’m c-lose ba-by,” you grunted as Gwilym pressed his mouth to your lower lips, as if to give you a soft chaste kiss, only to begin shaking his head side to side, rubbing his face against your cunt.
“loase,” he muttered to himself, trailing his tongue back up to your clit, making you grind your hips up into him. It was impossible to keep your mouth shut in the face of such a feeling, wantonly moaning as you felt your orgasm bubbling to the surface.
Gwilym hummed against you in response to a particularly loud moan which managed to be your undoing, your knees trying to clamp shut around his head as he continued to suck at your clit.
When you calmed enough to let go of his hair and loosen your thighs from around his ears, Gwilym looked up at you. His face was shiny and wet but he seemed to have regained some of his usual awareness. His eyes weren’t quite as vacant and his smile less dopey than it had been.
“Feel good?” he asked, sounding almost normal except for a slight lightness in his tone.
“Very good baby,” you leaned forward and kissed him full on the lips, tasting yourself as he opened his mouth and accepted your tongue. Slowly you dropped your hand between you, finding his cock again, not quite done with your brainless toy. He grunted against your lips and bucked into your hand as you stopped his return to sense.
“Isn’t this fun?” you said softly as you pulled back, holding Gwil by the chin to stop him from trying to follow.
“Yeah, fun,” a smile slowly tugging at his lips, “what is?”
“Not needing to think, baby,”
“Oh! Yes,” he laughed.
“You’re too pretty to have a brain anyway, aren’t you? Much better off letting it leak out of your head,”
“Mmhmm, much,”
“And do you know what good, dumb boys get?”
“No?”
“They get fucked. Would you like that?”
“Yes yes yes,”
“Alright, lie back for me,” you chuckled, giving his cock a final stroke.
Gwilym settled on the carpet on his back, grinning as you straddled his lap. Silently he held out his hand, all but two of his fingers folded against his palm.
“No, I don’t need your fingers sweetie,” you said, giving the tips of his two fingers a light kiss, “as dextrous as they are and as much as I enjoy them, I think I’m okay skipping straight to your cock,”
He nodded, letting you place his hand down on the floor again.
You watched his face as you slowly sank down onto him, once again the picture of cunt drunk bliss with glazed eyes and his lip between his teeth. He smiled as you leaned down to kiss him, rolling your hips against his slowly. As you tongues entwined again, Gwilym framed your waist with his hands, slowly dragging them up your sides and onto your chest. He cupped each of your breasts in one of his palms, squeezing softly as you rocked forward and back.
“Better than Byron isn’t this?” you asked, pushing yourself up a bit, but not so far you couldn’t kiss him again.
“Wha’s Byron?”
You laughed, “Y’know I think this might be the dumbest I’ve seen you. Can’t believe all it took was a rigged spelling test.
He obviously didn’t understand, staring blankly back at you.
What he did understand was that you were moving further away from him and he whined as you pushed yourself to sit higher again, bracing your hands on his chest as you used your knees to raise and lower yourself. It still wasn’t enough though so you shifted again before too long, placing a hand behind you to grab Gwil’s leg. You leant back on it changing the angle of Gwilym’s cock, and felt his hands drop from your chest, no longer able to reach as easily. They came to rest on your leg, his fingertips digging into your skin as you rode him, keening as you felt the start of your orgasm building in the pit of your stomach.
“Fuck Gwil, fill me so well, feels so good,”
“My dex-ik-tus cock?”
You couldn’t help but laugh, taken by surprise at his misunderstanding and mispronunciation of dextrous, but you nodded in agreement too, repeating your sentiments about how good it felt.
“Wanna make me feel even better?”
“How?”
You sat forward again and reached for his hand, pulling it to your clit. Gwilym took the hint, messily rubbing as you bounced on his cock, but his whines and moans only grew as you rode him.
“You’re close?”
“Mmhmm,”
You were on the verge of asking if he could hold it when he came with a groan, pulsing inside you. But you didn’t stop.
“I’m close too, baby, so I’m gonna keep fucking you, okay?”
He nodded, eyes fixed on you.
“Good boy.” You panted, grabbing his wrist to hold his hand at your clit and adjusting your rhythm. Each time you sank back down onto him you did it harder, slamming his cock into you as deep as you could manage, groaning with each one. Your orgasm was frustratingly close but Gwilym was becoming steadily more sensitive as his subsided, wincing more with each of your thrusts. The winces turned to whimpers which turned to whines as you whispered that you were so close.
“Almost baby, almost,”
“Please. Hur’s,”
“Nearly, just. One. More,” you threw your head back with a moan as you finally found your release, Gwil whining when you pulsed around him, a fresh tear running from the corner of his eye onto the carpet as he squirmed under you.
“Sorry, baby,” you said softly as you carefully dismounted him.
He hummed as you kissed him again, leaving an extra kiss against the tip of his nose.
“Did so well, such a good boy for me,”
“Yeah?”
“Mmhmm, so good,”
He gave you a slightly watery smile and let you pull him into a cuddle, sighing contentedly when you brushed your fingers through his hair. You stayed like that for a while, knowing that later you’d regret lying on the floor for so long but unable to find the energy to move or the willpower to tell Gwilym you had to let him go. He gradually lost the fucked out expression, becoming more aware of his surroundings and more capable of clear speech.
“How are you feeling?” you asked when you realised he’d blinked away the last of his sex drunk vacancy.
“Better than before. Little tired but much more relaxed and very satisfied. And, before you ask, yes that’s satisfied and yes I can spell it if you want,”
“I believe you.”
#my writing#my fics#smut fic#gwilym lee x reader#gwilym lee smut#gwilym lee imagine#this has been half written in my drafts for much too long now#but im very happy to be able to finally post it!#just got one more thing to write for this advent countdown#which i'll try and knock off after i get back from church#so that its ready to go in the morning#anyway#hope ya'll like this#i might kind of love writing pretty dumb boys#blurb advent 2020
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YGCMA songs and how they relate to c!Wilbur based off of yesterday’s lore (in my biased opinion)
This is so dumb and i literally don’t care. I can’t think about anything else other than doing this synopsis even tho like 28480329204 other people are going to do it. idc.
(I listened to the songs earlier, and i’m also listening to them as i write the opinions. these are basically just my thoughts while listening tbh. im also not doing the full song, just some things i feel relate within each song)
- Jubilee Line
the lines at the beginning of the song, “hate to see you leaving / a fate worse than dying” could relate to how wilbur feels after tommy gets pulled back into the overworld. or, he could be referencing L’Manburg and how he hates to see his country leaving him (ouch).
then we have the lines “your city gave me asthma / so thats why im fucking leaving / and your water gave me cancer / and the pavements hurt my feelings”. This could be in relation to L’Manburg as a whole. He put everything he had into L’Manburg and it only ended up hurting him in the end. yikes.
now we have “shout at the wall / ‘cause the walls dont fucking love you” repeated. This could be in reference to when he said he was fucking kicking and screaming to get out of the train station. hes screaming and he doesnt care because it doesnt matter to him. it doesnt love him just like how the people of L’Manburg didnt love him. wilbur get therapy challenge.
so based on the lore from yesterday, we know that c!wilbur’s limbo was a train station (props to fanartists. i love you.), presumably the YCGMA album cover type deal. when he sings “Theres a reason / that London puts barriers on the tube line / theres a reason / that London puts barriers on the rails” repeated. if the train station looks like how they do on the album cover, there could be barriers where he is. maybe hes trying his best to just kill himself over again by jumping onto the tracks. just in an attempt to escape. jfc
“theres a reason they fail”. he was still in the train station, wasnt he?
- Saline Solution
for this one, i feel like hes pretty far into the void and regretting his decision to have phil kill him. hes tired of being in a fucking train station for years on end.
“i think this time im dying / im not melodramatic / im just pragmatic beyond any / reasoning for thinking ive got / fuckin rabies or something.” hes so fucking sick of being in this goddamn train station and he thinks hes dying. hes so pent up and sick of being there, maybe hes just in so much pain that he feels like hes dying. if hes been there for a while, hes probably bound to go crazy at some point, hence the “pragmatic beyond any reasoning.”
“I think ive lost my mind / blurring the fact and the fictions” this feels like he really does believe hes going crazy and is mixing up the things he really knows and the things his mind is creating for him. maybe this is when tommy first arrived and he cant tell if he real or not (thats a stretch but i figured id share it anyway.)
“I think ive made my choice / im a deceased playing victim / slip the face, slip the victory” he quite literally says that hes a deceased playing victim. hes literally saying hes dead HAHHAHAH anyway. maybe hes blaming himself again, because us c!wilbur apologists all know that hes very good at doing that.
“Sit secluded in hatred /.../” hes sitting in a fucking train station for god knows how long beating himself up over and over again and just hating himself. hes all alone. with himself. someone he fucking loathes.
this is honestly all i have for Saline Solution, but i will definitely add more later if i get different theories.
- Since I Saw Vienna
This is my favorite song on the album and my comfort song so that could factor into this bit ahaha
im going to skip through this one a little bit and go to the line “The roads are my home, horizons my target / if i keep on moving, never lose sight of it / treating my memory of you like a fire, let it / burn out, don’t fight it, try to move on” this sounds like hes reminiscing on his home in L’Manburg and his presidency was something he relied on and he would fight to get it back, but now that hes dead and said that it should remain that way that he should just let it go. trying to move on from his symphony, forever unfinished.
“its been sixty weeks since i saw vienna / a bandage and a wide smile slapped across my face / ill pick up my hiking boots when i am ready / and ill put down my roots when im dead.” THESE LINES FUCK ME UP IN GENERAL BUT HOW THEY RELATE TO C!WILBUR RN IS JUST SUIBHYSBUSHDXNSKJDNHBD YK???? in the context that vienna is L’Manburg and he died, its saying that its been a long ass time since hes seen it and hes faking being okay about his death. he misses it but doesnt want to admit it. the picking up the hiking boots when hes ready is him moving on from his L’Manburg, and putting his roots down when hes dead is finally being okay with not living there/being an important part of it. he believed his death was the best for the people in L’Manburg and L’Manburg itself. it seems like hes still trying to convince himself.
“Ill be gone then, for when you must be alone.” hes gone. hes dead. hes in the train station. he left the L’Manburgians alone and hes alone in his limbo. man.
- Losing Face
this song is angry. hes so fucking angry. my thoughts are that this is about the following presidents after him. he feels like the L’Manburgians were happier without him and im pretty sure he believed that even when Schlatt was president. this is so evident in the lyric “Is he better than me?” Hes literally asking if the other presidents were better than he was. he doesnt believe he did everything he could to be the best president, even though we all know that he gave everything that he was into that country and then some. he broke himself for the L’Manburg but he doesnt believe hes enough. sheesh.
“Ive seen him / ive been him / ive felt the same way” even though he cant see the new presidents being president, he knows what its like. he knows that they might break under the pressure. hes been there. he knows how if feels. yikes.
“Ive lost all meaning / ive lost my sense of hope” this feels like when he was nearing the end of L’Manburg when he blew it up, and that he feels like trying to win it back is pointless. he has no hope for it anymore, so why not give up? his mental state is already shit yk so i cant really blame him for feeling that way.
“i dont care / i want you here / as long as youre happy, i dont care” this line. this fucking line. hes lost hope in being president, but he doesnt care. he just wants the L’Manburgians to be happy. that was his whole thought process while he was president. he didnt matter to himself, he just wanted them to be happy. he sacrificed his mental state for them. cries in wilbur apologist.
- Your Sister Was Right
this is my second favorite song on the album i think HAHAHAH
anyway
“I use everyone i ever meet / i cant find the perfect match / abuse those i love / while i ostracize the ones who love me / back.” wowie wow wow fucking ouchie. He feels like he uses his friends. this whole thing is a projection of his shit ass mental state rn fucking hell. he feels like hes abusive. thats what everyones been telling him. they tell him he was awful and a shit president and all that jazz even though hes been killing himself trying to be the best for them but its still not enough (pigeon projecting? more likely than you think)
“every time that i miss you / i feel the way you hurt / and i dont deserve you / you deserve the world / though it feels like we were built / from the same dirt.” man. hes dead lol. he misses the L’Manburgians. not only were they his supporters, but they were all his friends too. every time he misses his friends he feels their pain of when he first blew up L’Manburg. he feels like because he caused them all pain that they dont like him and that they never liked him and that he is undeserving of their friendship. he still wants to be friends with them. he still loves them. he still wants the best for them. he thinks theyre so much better than him even though they all created L’Manburg together. in reality they are all the same, but their actions impact each other and he feels that his actions make him worse than them or less than. fuckisonmdfnpbhife
“and i hate to say it / but your sister was right / dont trust english boys / with far too much free time” sister is dream mayhaps. fuckngeionsfjg that hurt sorry uhhh anyway yeah sister is dream?? he did say that wilbur would be a shit president and he believes that hes a shit president so he thinks they were all right about him being a shit president fbhjebinfnejg. maybe sister is just everyone who didnt believe in wilbur. man....
“a fucking waste of time” do i even need to explain this one? he fr doesnt belive hes worth it anymore and that hes literally a waste of time. hjkfbhnfve
- La Jolla
this one feels pretty far into train station limbo to me as well. namely from “and im lonely / there i said it” this could either be him being lonely as president and feeling like he doesnt have anyone to talk to really because hes too busy trying to hold himself together for everyone. either that or hes lonely in the station and didnt want to admit it because this is what he wanted. he wanted to die. he wanted to be dead because he believed thats what everyone else wanted and he just wanted the best for them.
“i could go away / i could pack my things and be gone before you wake” he could leave if they asked him to. he would do anything for them.
“you know ive tried hard to love me too / it always seems to fall in, through” this line already physically pained me but now it hurts even more having to relate it to a character i love. we already know that his mental state was declining as his presidency continued, but this would confirm that hes just trying to love himself even though he can never seem to get it right.
“my own personal sunset” this is just the ‘this is my sunrise’ line but different. my man misses the sun. fuck.
- I’m Sorry Boris
this song is almost definitely from a long ass time in the limbo.
“and im sorry / but, boris / im leaving / im not good for anyone here” boris represents L’Manburgians!! hes talking about how hes leaving the world by planning on killing himself. fuck.
“we reached the end of a decade” mans been dead for a decade. sheesh.
he then goes on to say that he cant believe hes leaving, he doesnt think he wants to leave them, but he thinks its whats best for them.
he talks about how they do all of these bullshit things before helping you and i know its in reference to london but for the sake of my sanity its about the presidency role and how it will fuck you up before bothering to help you not want to kill yourself.
should i do a separate post about how i visualized it/about how i thought about the song in paragraph form like a lowkey explanation? idk how to explain it but in this one i wanted to just cover some of the lyrics of the songs and my thoughts on them. i think c!wilbur wrote these in the limbo after he died. i know this is also shit and Not Good, but i really just needed to get my thoughts out before it killed me. i also didnt reread this. its probably repetitive and shit yk. i do Not Care. id also love to hear thoughts on this if yall want to. if you made it this far i love you please hydrate and eat today and youre so sexy ahaha
“and even though im finished / im not quite done with it” even though hes finishing his symphony by blowing it up, hes now realizing he wished he hadnt blown it up and that he hadnt killed himself. man.
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got tagged by @panwriter, thank you xx
1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise? ali. pronounce it however you like i dont really care lol
2. when is your birthday? march 26. so just a few weeks from now. oh boy
3. where do you live? joensuu, finland babey
4. three things you are doing right now? pretending im reading the essays i shouldve read for methodology class weeks ago, making a list of things i need to get from the university library (and where those books are exactly - i dont actually go to the uni library very often at all but for some reason rather many of the books i need arent available as ebooks), trying to drink the second bucket of coffee of the day without spilling it everywhere
5. four fandoms that have piqued your interest? re-animator; stephen king multiverse (was gonna just say the shining and doctor sleep but we all know its more than that); saw franchise; the godfather. though with sk and godfather im basically just playing in my own little isolated sandbox and im more than fine with that thank you
6. how has the pandemic been treating you? ah well. its been treating me. got my ba degree and generally have been able to study more so thats good. spent five months with my family in tampere last year and itd probably be good for me to go there again but as it is im stuck in my apartment because of doctors appointments. like thats the only reason i cant just Go. also i recently realized i havent seen my grandma in over a year and cried about that. choir stuff is obviously all fucky and uncertain. also having time to think about things and stuff means ive been figuring out gender stuff so thats been.....interesting....and energy consuming.....and crisis inducing
7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now? täällä on joku by absoluuttinen nollapiste, its finnish weirdness hours in my head 247
8. recommend a movie. i mean, yeah, re-animator
9. how old are you? 25. 26 in a few weeks
10. school, university, occupation, other? university of eastern finland, babey! english language and culture major, literature minor. did my ba thesis on the shining. the novel, fuck the kubrick film, and wouldnt have been allowed to do my thesis about a film anyway. so right now im a masters student and will start working on my ma thesis next year, trying to get as many classes out of the way before that as possible. dont know what im gonna be once i graduate and id really rather not think about that but i do like studying in spite of everything
11. do you prefer heat or cold? heat. but, like... thats relative, isnt it? what i consider warm is Definitely Not warm to someone who lives in, like, texas. and i Tolerate cold and, christ i dont know. my favorite season is spring.
12. name one fact others may not know about you. once came second in a school skiing competition! i was ten. we didnt get medals, we got like pins/brooches and i still have my silver brooch somewhere
13. are you shy? sometimes. often. im anxious
14. pronouns? they/them. like i said ive been trying to figure out gender stuff and the only thing im Very sure of is that i am Not Cis, and im scared, and i get easily defensive about it all, and i have a lot of internalized issues i need to work on. gendered pronouns are like my number one personal enemy, i need the sort of....neutrality, ambiguity, yknow. finnish does not Have gendered pronouns, we have hän for he/she/they/every neopronoun - and we dont even fucking use that one, everyones just se (it) and thats all fine and dandy when you dont want to Think about your Gender every time someone refers to you and im rambling because i am once again getting defensive for no reason sdfdsfs yeah theres still a lot to unload here i swear were getting there
15. biggest pet peeves? on a bad day? everything. but to give an actual answer, people not realizing their experiences are not universal and that their actions can and will have an effect on others
16. what is your favorite “-dere” type? glad to say im temporarily illiterate so i dont know what this says
17. rate your life from 1 to 10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be im afraid i cant do that luv i dont want to have a breakdown
18. what’s your main blog? this one babey
19. list your side blogs and what they’re used for. i have @ihmekukkavesi for my photography and @shineondoc for university hell and occasional doctor sleep/the shining yelling. im not gonna call it my studyblr cos it....its really not....its not. im not a good student. im not organized, i dont feel like im Doing This right. im definitely not exemplary. everything becomes a crisis and i need to let it out somewhere and thats what shineondoc is for.
20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friend? oh boy. uh. im not good at keeping a conversation going. yet at the same time i cannot fucking shut up if were talking about something im excited about. i dont know how Real this is but i feel like i might come across as like...arrogant or something but i swear im just scared and trying to keep myself from Rambling(tm) and. well. trying to sound like a normal fucking person.
tagging @nowendil @appelssiini @librarytraveller @sailonacrossthesea @stokoetopia @kirsikkaprinsessa and anyone whos bored and wants to do this
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king. tell me about your trans dave au
deep breath.
in my au dave wears boys clothes because theyre actually just bros old clothing and the short hair came with nescecity, its cut that short because it was getting in the way of strifing.
bro calling him little man and bro and shit came from my mom doing that (sorta, she doesnt call me little man and bro) when i cut my hair. this makes sense with the theory that bros head is like messed up because of lord english aka caliborn who is a known misogynist, and whats more misogynistic than thinking a woman cant have short hair am i rite (many things.)
i already have some other stuff sorted out about it:
his hair was first cut when he was 8 by bro. with his sword. it was first just cut into something like an ear lenght cut and dave just trimmed it afterwards. also when bro did that dave freaked the fuck out cus he thought he was going to get decapitaded. lots of fun huh /sar. he eventually got better and better at cutting his own hair throughout the years and thats why hair lenght wasnt a problem to him on the meteor.
im still not sure how he ended up finding out about trans people and his own identity and blah blah blah but the idea is that he found out through the internet and was like oh shit girls can be boys??? thoughtfull emoji. john jade and rose also kinda helped him because when he met john (the first one of the three) john thought he was a dude (he technically was, he just didnt know yet) and dave just went with it.
GT: my names john! what about yours?
TG: (oh shit fuck uh a boy name whats a boy name shit shit shit oh got it) dave
a lot of his gender and sexuality problems and ponderings happen in game as well.
"but jake what about the internalized homophobia? that doesnt make any sense when hes trans!" well my friend this is where my epic swag transgender bi boy experiences come into play, because what better way to solve plot holes than using projection. when he was there talking with his friends trying to come off as a boyish boy a manly man he thought "boys like girls and if im a boy now that means i should like girls" and so he begun just like asserting how much he liked girls every sentence with the bitches and your mom and all that jazz, even if hes not entirely sure if he does (figuring out your sexuality is hard yall). at some point in between him meeting the other kids and turning 13 he ended up actually identifying as a boy (??? i dunno man just roll with it)
he binded with bandages. yes it fucked his breathing up and yes it wasnt healthy. i like to think the outfits he alchemized came with good proper binders so my boy can stop suffering.
even though he already identifyed as trans when he godtiered but still freaked out because holy shit a penis.
hes talked about being trans to jade, karkat, rose, terezi and i think itd be cool if he talked to dirk as well. imagine how sweet this would all be. ough i want to write it.
i think this is all i have right now? feel free to add on i want to know your Thoughts & Opinions, lets make this au a collective effort.
anyways trans dave is entirely possible even if i have to bed canon in betweent my fingers to make it happen. hell you dont even have to do that your hc is valid even if some chump thinks its """impossible""" to happen. just have fun and enjoy yourselves
#asks#can you tell hat like 70% of this au is projection#seriously theres some extra not so important stuff that also happens to be projection#i look at funky sunglasses dude and am like im gonna project so hard onto you#anyways not tagging this#also my fingers are hurting mildly because f the lenght of this thing jesus fuck
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No ones asking but I’m gonna Go Off abt this idea anyways. And also say this may or may not be canon to my Book Ends project that’s been languishing for years now ANYWAYS
Night Force but College AU aka
"No Magic but the gang still gets together to lay about in their college library and play DnD every other weekend" jdfksla;f
The kids are all attending Hudson University in NY as undergrads in varying fields, but the thing that brings them together (as is often the case) is their overlap in dorm accommodations and elective courses. They claim a study room in the library and Make It Theirs
still thinking about their degrees and might change em, but here's what Im thinking so far:
Raven is premed/psych (yall already know it depends entirely on my Mood™), Traci is either criminal justice or prelaw (sticking w/ her living with the Dibnys and that inspiring her to rlly dive into wanting to be a PI, so those are like, the bare min to getting Started), Zach's a theatre arts major & Eddie's a film major (& they both end up in a lot of projects together bc OFC), im thinking Lori is an english major to start off (bc she Doesnt actually know what she wants to be doing but she knows she at least doesn't hate lit analysis) but maybe she changes her mind idk, we'll see. and finally Klarion is Undeclared at first BUT (and stick with me here) i think it would be fucking hilarious if he was a math major. bc no one would fucking expect it and also im projecting shut up LISTEN.
Amy is absolutely there, but she's a HS student who's shoehorned her way into the group bc her parents both teach at the Uni OBVSLY (thats like, actual canon btw) and so she's just Always hung around campus and now she's part of their group :)
(similarly skye's part of the group, but she's gonna come n go a bit more. i'm still Mulling over exactly where I want her to be/how i want to use her & if i want to get too wrapped up in giving her a major or not... bc-)
skye's gonna Cause some Drama bc we CANT just have an AU, oh no we need PLOT and instead of a Bad/Dying End for her, shes just gonna transfer to Gotham State or Metropolis U or smthn fjkdlsa;
Enter various Shadowpact/JLD members as like, professors or grad students or w/e i don't have anyone there figured out Just Yet obvsly but also they're not the Focus anyways so-
Winters is the like, a librarian/archivist for the Uni & lurks around the same study room (bc its right around the corner from his office) and he frequently tries to get the kids to run errands/do favors for him bc he was using the room as extra space originally and now they're RUINING THAT and he needs to get them OUT
idk, i'll think of more stuff eventually but thats the uhh, Ground Work for now.
#the night forge adventures#new night force#randywrites#to write#god i havent thought abt book ends in forever tho either fjdka#also college aus should be way more of a Thing... like.... the Freedom they afford with a lot of the same tropes that you can copy/paste#from hs aus too.... the Range you can implement while being right in the Cusp between the final teenage years and the beginnings of the 20s#theres just!!!!!! a lot abt college!!! im barely out and i do miss campus ngl!!!!!#maybe thats also partially why im writing this up rn fdjkals; already romanticizing something that hasnt long yet passed#getting way to existential for 1 am ok time for bed. thanks for coming to my tedtalk
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Tma season 2 notes baybeee
I made myself take several breaks so I could give my frie d who is listening to it at the same time as me a chance to catch up. Honestly just posting them so I have them saved somewhere but whatever.
ep 41: real graham wrote keep watching before he was replaced. Jon feels like he's being watched. But they werent replaced by things related to the eye. It's the web that's on the box that replaces them. Endless hallways and doors to nowhere. I bet nicholas will have ideas what entity this relates to. If it even does. They're like the tunnels in the one with the builder guy. Tunnels closing in etc. Also like the cave diving one. He's assuming it's just one
ep 42: so 100 gecs? (IM SORRY I LIKE 100 GECS BUT LMAO) so there's some entity related to music right? There's the piper episode and the 27 w/ the calliope. Ah yes, this season is gonna be the season of Paranoid!Jon
ep 43: section 31? fucking books. god no. smashed lights? cult lady did that. covered the lights too. she mentioned a spooky clown doll. thats not random.
ep 44: is this that same circus that got mentioned before? it is! the pipe organ! pop off organ! pipe off! mouth on the stomach! yes! mouths in unusual places my beloved!
ep 45: antiques! like that one ep!
ep 46: every time books get mentioned i sigh. hhh sus smells. it got brighter. I get the vibes occasionally that the dark and the eye are sorta at odds with eachother. GRRR BARK BARK LEITNER. ayyy ex altiora. entity go brr. which entity do we thing it is? my guess is The Dark. The book buyer's name is Mike. He has scars? Electricity? The childhood friend of the guy who got it later on perhaps? The Vast? its formatted like an entity idk. This happened before the other one. He got trapped in the wood carving. a win for the web lol spiders go brr
ep 47: did i hear spiral? ITS THE NOT THING FROM THE EPISODE WITH NOT GRAHAM "it didnt move, it shifted" is like the exact same sentence as before. ay john's starting to remember. the laughing woah thats weird. is "michael" one of the entities? "you make it seem like theres a war" supports my theory that theres a struggle between a couple of the entities. I said i thought it was the eye and the dark i believe but im not sure. its whatever entity michael is vs the worms? what did nicholas say the worms were again? The Corruption? still dont know which one michael is tho.
Had to take a break after that episode. smth about the quality of michael's voice makes me feel like im gonna slip into one of those states where it feels like nothing is real, so i got a nice cold glass of water.
ep 48: jesus ok this one's kidna corny. you're telling me love made the crowd go away come on now. Ur losing it big J. also shouldnt it be more sus that "sasha" is so unaffected by the worm incident/ finding of gertrude's body
ep 49: haven't we heard hector's name before? oh is he the crime guy? fucking jared... so it's a throat? chompa chompa. (it's just a little bit hot) the good part about these episodes is that we know whoever's telling the story isn't gonna die. even if it's a close call, they're not dead. hotworth? ok not jared keay. it bothers me how theres so many repeated names, can they not come up with other names? "sasha"'s computer is breaking... sus. Elias our favorite weed man! jon ur so paranoid lmao
ep 50: robert smirk, at it again. this is like that one episode with the old dude who locked his door. who said idle beforehand? was it smirk? fingertips. thats so weird lmao. bahahah tim
ep 51: simon fairchild. im sure jon will mention the name at the end i cant remember where we've heard it. this is just like the cavediving episode. a hand? there was a hand in the last one right? the scalpel! and an eye thing. she's trying to throw them off.
ep 52: thats the guy from before! with the hearts! god i hate this guy writing the statement hh. lights blowing, and brackish water. we know how this ends but its still tense. rainer? reigner? rain man. we've seen him before
ep 53: pls not a leitner. oh boy mans scratched out his eyes. rip skelly. why would gertrude have had this statement off the books? jon stabbed himself?? bruh im? big man are you okay
ep 54: cockney boys! ayy its our favorite delivery men. she cut out their eyes. she knew that the eye was a thing?
ep 55: oily residue like the retirement home!
ep 56: worms? no. spiders?? bruhh. aaah yelling :(( aww martin anyways yeah i called it about paranoid!jon he needs to take a nap and drink some hot chocolate and calm down for once please
ep 57: just remembered, i think theres an entity called The Lonely?? This feels pretty lonely idk. fairchild, lukas/ lucas, some spooky place in norway idk. "sasha" knew he was recordinig hmm suspicious cmon jon figure it out. Sasha and tom. hm sus. for records sake i feel liek i should note here that I did have it spoiled to me simply that that's not sasha, but thats really all. i assumed it was like the thing that happened to graham in S1
ep 58: i feel like i recognize the name eustice (?) wick. someone please tell me im not just watching jon's descent into madness over the course of this podcast. im hoping it isnt so but, (and pardon the dsmp reference) im getting real wilbur vibes from this one.
ep 59: oh dear ok account from the fielding house. swirling designs? Spiral time? oh boyy. oh wait! 6 inch hole in the middle! is it not a spiderweb type design on the table? thats what i had assumed but that description sounds more like a spiral thing. cobwebs is a Web thing. ayy nicholas was right! the box goes in the table! the place that she kissed him was burning. Raymond is an avatar of The Web and agnes is the burning one. Lightless Flame! Why did she save him? i guess she was against this guy eating ppl or wtvr but why was she at the halfway house then? I think she's like michael.
ep 60: the eye go brr
ep 61: breacon and hope once again. tom. sasha's boyfriend. vampires sleep in coffins. the guy just walking in seems similar to the mind control of the vampires
ep 62: bones! its that one leitner. is this mother keay? the mom of gerard? this is what happened to her right? her skin was found on hooks? oh yeah thats what i thought the pages are made of skin. yeesh. The End!! sounds like an entity. phrased like one, and i think i remember it. are the people trapped in the pages? or... kept?
ep 63: eaten by the darkness! cavediving episode! (just like eaten by the sky) did my brain make up one called The Vast? it feels like it should be one, and all these episodes have some similar description about their feelings when they do whatever chosen hobby they have. ok now this one kinda feels like the dark. lights going out and all that. ok so not really a The Vast thing, its more of a Dark thing. feckin smirk gah.
ep 64: dice! the death guy! the death game thing! the person tricked somebody else into becoming death and then they were immortal? but if the egyptians wanted to kill him or punish him or whatever couldnt they just kill him? it worked in the end when he had the person giving the statement stab him, that did the job and actually killed him
ep 65: finally jon is actually acknowledging something is wrong.
So we know Mary Keay was revived most likely with the book by gerard.
Gertrude was way more aware of the entities than Jon. mary keay referenced The End openly and she cut the eyes out of her magazines and all that which makes me think she was aware of The Eye
ep 66: please not buried alive pleeaase not buried alive. lukas of the tundra? didnt we hear the name lukas before? she wanted it to be difficult to find important files because that way bad people couldnt find them?
ep 67: agnes... the girl in the hilltop house? agnes poppin off!! he's really not gonna question how she knew where he lived?? oh no D: the tree. were they the ones working on the house? aww they kissi- OH DEAR. why did she kiss him? it seemed like she cared about him? also she could kiss that other dude on the cheek and he was fine, but maybe it was cuz she was younger? lightless flame go brrrrr.
ep 68: oh god books. yup its bitchboy leitner. mans said "this seems supernatural, its a werd book!" bruuh.
ep 69: heh nice. aw cmon jon listen to martin. gahhh spiders. is that the class we heard about in the other doctor one with the teeth apple? some kind of psych class? oh dear. fucking spiders. aaaah. web do be goin brr. it's like the girl in the homeless shelter! who made the guy leave and she took his bed.
ep 70: is this gonna be the book that mary keay had? Most likely a leitner no matter what. Oh boy latin. Why did it start in latin then become old English? I'm guessing people put them in the book? He cant burn it. Phrophecies go brr. He says eh it's a decade in the future it's fine. Its gonna have changed. Ayy called it. Just accept it, it's a magic book. His death is getting closer. Leitner didnt make them but just collected them? Gertrude burned the book! She burned them down there so no one would know.
ep 71: oh boy tunnels. Our favorite thing /s. is The Buried a thing? Idk this seems pretty buried. Oh dear he's trapped here isnt he. "Not enough space to move, never enough to breathe" is that from the computer episode? With the guy who uploaded his consciousness? Somebody living down there. Hmmmm. Guesses: tom, sasha's boyfriend. Gertrude herself? (Though I doubt it)
ep 72: sweeney todd moment. Meat. The slaughter? Idk we'll see what the supernatural part is. Meat is meat. Similar to the slaughterhouse episode. Is it fucking Jared I swear to God it better not be. Hooligan teenagers, you know how it is. Meat is me lmao. Is the kid gonna be in the freezer. Ok that's good. OWW. Oddly textured candles. Made from people? Human fat or smth? Tom from the meat processing plant!
ep 73: outer bay shipping. Bet it's a subset of breacon and hope delivery. The Dark go brrr. Uh oh mans is gonna die. Leo or whatever. Cult ppl go brr. The people's church of the divine host. Who is the divine host? Is it reigner or whatever his name is? I dont think Jon can quit tbh. Probably an anonymous tip but from who?? One of the entities?
ep 74: fucking teeth hhh. I dont know which entity is related to teeth. Spiral. Isnt the spiral an entity. It feels like it could be related to many things idk. Yeah this sounds like the spiral. Heart attack at 29? Jesus... michael! That's kinda what I was thinking. Sasha goin in the tunnels. Hmm sus. They move the floor. Wack. Bet its tom.
ep 75: Man with a lightning scar. Has one of the leitner books. The childhood friend of the one who first introduced us to leitner. Oh my god that sounds terrifying. Michael crew.
ep 76: scalpel? Hmm spooky. NotSasha... think jon think.
ep 77: another double! NotThem, The Stranger. Not related to the table?
ep 78: what was that at the beginning? Question mark?? Oh boy more NotThem. Decker... what is the deal with the table. Does it contain the creature? Fucking Michael. Bitchboi himself.
ep 79: yes pop off martin. Ugh fucking Michael just leave man. I hate that dude. New person. Hmm. No idea who it is.
ep 80: shitener himself! Ok sir tell us the entities. Ayy The Spiral. Ok we know what that one is. The Eye is the beholding! Oooh. The Stranger. Did elias just kill leitner? Popping off honestly.
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What makes ‘us’ us.
Includes: Tendou x reader, platonic!shiratorizawa x reader
Genre: Monster!Au, fluff, angst if you want it to be, smut
Warning: Discrimination, sexual acts, mentioning of sexual scenes, mentions of prostitution, violence
Summary: When a mysterious girl appears before the shiratorizawa vbc claiming to be a monster it almost sounds like bullshit but as weird as it sounds they really were taking in a whole new member that seems out of the ordinary.
A/N: This was something I’ve wanted to try for a while. I love monsters btw HAHAHAHA If ya’ll haven’t noticed yet. Beasts, monsters, aliens. I love em. They’re just so cool! Anyways...Please enjoy because I cried a few times to finish this 😔
“King?” You stare blankly at the tall olive haired male. He appeared to be a king of some sort. His presence was so authoritative and commanding that it would be weird for him not to be a king. “Wakatoshi-kun? Who’s this~ oh ho ho~” The red haired monster??? It appears to be an Akao. A rare sight for an akao to talk to a human but you knew that you should take any chance you get. The red monster...Seemed to approach the human king??? They both stared at your shivering almost naked body. “I dont know. I just saw her beside the locker room” olive haired person responded, trying to stand up you walked up to the one with ruby hair. “A-a...re? Y...you...like me?” You tried reaching your hand out to him. However once your hand has collided with his skin your body had quickly shifted back to your original form. Big pointed ears, three eyes, ridiculously long hair with light peach like skin. They were both shocked and took a step back. “Huh?! I cant glow like that and get wings, right wakatoshi-kun?” The ‘wakatoshi’ king nodded and confused you cocked your head to the side.
“Y-you’re a monster! Like me!” You point out to the ruby head. “That’s enough” the ‘wakatoshi’ spoke up ,though the tone of his very much like a king to his subjects, and due to the fright you immediately turned back to your old ‘human’ like form. “What are you? Who are you and why have you come here? Answer us” his commanding voice made you fearful so quickly you provided the answers to his questions.
“I-Im...a...momoshi. A peach angel in the english language. We’re monsters and we are drawn to mate with other monsters called Akao. A red king. Y-You had a red king here so I...” You stare at the ruby boy again.
“A-a monster? Like in manga???” The suspected Akao speaks beside the human king. You couldn’t wait any longer! You had to get his seed before time run out. Even if you had to beg for it. “Oh great akao! Please! Please mate with me! My time will run out soon! I need to bear your seed!” “Haaa?!” He was confused as he looked back to the human king.
Oh of course! The human king was keeping the Akao! You had to ask permission first! “Magnificent human king! Please allow me to mate with your Akao! I promise to return him once I am filled with his seed!” Exclaiming excitedly. You were sure that he would agree however he was only showing you the human facial expression of confusion. The sound of human foot steps draw near, all you could do was hide behind the red king. “T-tendou-san, who is behind you?” Another tall human appears with a few others. One you’ve noticed seemed to be a prince?
“Prince tomu?” You came out of your hiding spot, barely clothed except a sheer piece of cloth to cover your south. “Oh~ Tsutomu! You know her?” The humans looked at him with anticipation for his answer however it seems like everyone was even more startled with you had quickly kissed the ‘prince’ with such minimal clothing on.
“I-I umm...I...I dont! I...ughhh...” The prince was almost as red as the akao’s hair but you did not understand that. Normally the princes and kings greeted that way?
Everyone was left with confusion, little to no answers, a very red tsutomu, a naked girl that was supposed to be a “monster” and boners from seeing the beautiful being who appeared out of no where.
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A few days of being taken in by the “Volleyball” team of shiratorizawa, and you had grown attacked to the ‘human king’ ushijima-san and your hoping-to-be red king mate tendou-san though he did offer the nickname tori you didnt want to seem rude to a red king. Tendou and everyone else in their “Volleyball” team kept on explaining to you that tendou was human but you knew an akao when you saw one. You were not easily fooled. Despite your ignorance to the information satori decided to let you stay with him at their dorm until you’re ready to go.
Letting you stay was just a step though. Their curiosity was so strong that subtly they had decided to study you.
Slowly enough they learned more about you through your movements.
You were really soft and you emitted a peach-summer scent whenever your body thought it was necessary. For example, you being all alone with tendou. This scent however was also an aphrodisiac as it was mostly emitted during mating but considering these people were more or less humans they didn’t really feel the way the air would seem warmer in these instances.
“Y/N” you cocked your head as tendou looked at you straight in the eye. “That’s your name for now. Y/N.” His highness said all the while they were getting ready to go to school.
They weren’t really surprised at your little habits anymore though.
You kissing them on their way out was still weird but
you had to explain to them that it was mandatory to greet kings that way! Them not wanting to offend you they just offered to be kissed like a peck instead. As you pecked both of them out carefully you took off the ‘clothes’ they lent you. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable here...
The beds were a bit tight due to you sleeping beside tendou.
The food was always ‘cooked’? What was ‘cooked’? Apparently it was putting the food on fire? It was such a weird concept. Why would you do that to fresh meat?! Meat is best eaten fresh in your opinion. You didn’t really like this place all that much due to how strange it was but you had to mate with that strange red king! Morphing into your natural form you start picking at your wings. Made of pure energy and hard like platinum. What time would they come back this time?
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Waiting for them felt like forever, honestly. Closing your eyes and curling up on the floor you felt your forms glitch between each other.
Soon...if you didn’t mate thats all you would ever be...a defective. A glitch. A virus. The village would never take you back like that and this human world would only leave you to rot.
Momoshis were never appreciated in this world. Only used for the pleasures of man.
“I...have to...be worthy to s-sta...y...alive...” sleep talking tendou was figuring how to pick you up, your form was glitching. He’d seen in before but he would always be there to take care of it though. “You are worthy, Y/N...”
The ruby haired boy knew exactly what it felt like to be a monster too. Growing up almost everyone would regard him as one. The constant struggle of being so strong yet so weak everyday. Taking the perfect moment to kiss your lips to wake you up so you could transfer to the bed. He just whispered you some instructions and went to the bathroom to freshen himself up.
What he didnt expect when he came back was for you to be in your original form, teary eyed, wings drooping, your peach scent oozing from behind you and your trembling legs. “My king...please...” you pleaded feeling your instincts eat up all sense of rational thought you had.
Begging and grovelling. Your eyes turn into a certain shade of pink while your flustered cheeks inch towards the beautiful akao. “I-im...al...ready prepared...” quick to show your bare back and almost.
Key word: Almost. Almost showing him your dripping wet sex.
Foiling your plans however was credited to the human king, himself. He only stared and went straight to the bathroom. “Ehem~ Y/N, lets get you back on your feet yeah? You even took off your clothes again.” “I...I...just... need to be worthy please...” those cold teardrops travel down your pretty cheeks. Your sobs could be heard throughout the whole room and only a had to your back rubbing circles were used to make you feel safer.
“You are worthy. You’re a monster, thats easy for you. I was called a monster when I didn’t want to...” he pauses when you lift up your head, slowly morphing back to your human form.
“Humans are scarier” you tried to laugh through your nervousness.
“We are, aren’t we? But monsters are only monsters because we couldn’t understand you...Monsters aren’t all that scary once you get to know them, no?~” he looks at you with the same warmth he had the moment he asked if he could take you in. The same warmth that you feel whenever you fell asleep beside him. The same warmth when he talked to his friends.
“Platinum like wings, weird facial features, left handedness...those are what makes ‘us’ Us, Y/N” Ushijima butts in. Your eyelids heavy and body tired. They both hoist you up with their arms making sure to handle with care. As you lay on satori’s bed the two exchanged a look.
We have to protect them.
Taglist: @janellion @my-mass-hysteria @anianimol
#haikyuu!!#anime#anime series#hq anime#haikyuu memes#hq#haikyuu blog#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu fanfic#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu shiratorizawa#ushijima wakatoshi#tendou satori#haikyuu ushijima#haikyuu tendou#hq peepee#hq x reader#hq imagines#hq shiratorizawa#hq x you#hq ushijima#hq ushiwaka#hq tendou#tendou x reader#monster!Au
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Im about to write one of the most... maybe the most unpopular opinion ive ever had
So like... warning
Ive always been one of those people who didnt get why people complained about immigrants from poor countries “taking their jobs” because like - you dont wanna do that shitty job anyway so stfu
When i came to japan i heard a few underhanded comments about Filipinos and thought it was rude. I mean tbh i didnt know that The Philippines taught english but if they do - eh right?
Well....
Yea here it is
First off. I came here to teach english for the same reasons as everyone else BUT ALSO apparently rare - i actually really do like english. Always have. Looked for editorial jobs and writing jobs after college blah blah
So. When im treated well in my job - i like it.
But most companies treat you like shit. And the more people complain the more fillipeonos they hire
Heres the unpopular opinin. I get the anger now. K like. I want this job. People like me want this job. And people like me will fight for better treatment - but because fillipenos are happy that the horrible pay and conditions (are apparently better??? Idk thats what they say) are better than their own country - they take it with a smile on their face
Which ruins it for everyone else. Cause the way its been going in the short time ive been here - soon were all gonna be pushed out of this job in favor of fillipenos
Now im still very obviously opposed to the other conservative idea of just take it because yay! A job!
The horrible conditions are why i keep looking for something better
And a side note here. Its more annoying because most of the fillipenos cant actually speak english fluently.... and the whole point of my job is giving a fluent speakers prespective and using us to guage how close the students are to speaking native american english
So ya.... i kinda wonder now like... oh. Were ther situations where americans were happy being janitors and such but complained about bad conditions and then got passed over for immigrants who dont complain.... k... i kinda sympathize with that anger now.... if thats the reason theyre mad
So yea theres my super unpopular opinion - and i even sprinkled in my other super unpopular opinion which im sure is easy to figure out
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Storm and ivy + medic
@septemberlove i have. no excuse for how late these are but uh. thank you for sending these in 💕.
[word count: 1.8k+ with the longest 'authors note' bc im mentally ill]
sfw, mmm comfy cozy, general sick hcs,
storm - what are cozy days in with your f/o like?
Whenever I think of cozy days, my brain immediately goes to rainy/chilly weather where we can cuddle up together and my brain short fuses. I'm gonna assume this is just like a day off or something though!
How I visual them together vs how I write them is odd because they technically don't act or accept they're 'together' until after the comics but I always write them like they're in a Steady Relationship while on base. I'm always writing a slight AU if you will. Or maybe it's after they get their jobs back at Mann co - I should highkey adjust that but No ♥️. No more thinking, just content based off my idealized universe.
There's definitely a point in their relationship where it's like 'I think I have to put in a little more work here'. I'm not saying either party is slacking but they're slacking ♥️. Neither of them really take action. Chef doesn't blame him or really complain about it because that's their nature, plus they don't know how romantic relationships really work or flow, especially with a person like him. Medic doesn't see an issue with anything and continues on with his normal business.
What I mean by slacking is, there's not a lot of quality time being spent together which would be fine if it wasn't both of their strongest Love Languages, which could help them strengthen their relationship. It's odd because they're 'romantically involved' but they don't spend a lot of time together for either of them to consider it romantic, simply because it's on company time.
ANYWAYS THATS JUST ME BEING CONVOLUTED. FEEL FREE TO JUST IGNORE ALL OF THIS.
Medic goes to bed pretty late and wakes up at a fairly early hour. Chef is a late sleeper and forced to be an early riser because their Actual Job is to make at least 2 or 3 meals a day (if they want something else, they're on their own but hate when anyone messes up the kitchen and will honestly, stand there and watch said person).
There's minimal time they can spend together if they want to do their own activities - for Medic, it's tinkering around with organs or in Engie's garage, for Chef, they're typically meal prepping or trying to tend to an animal or plant of some sort.
Medic is actually more direct about wanting attention and it's never been a problem because he's cautious about it. Chef is more emotionally inclined and willing to drop hints that they want more attention.
Chef probably has one day off where it's a complete free for all, for the rest of the team, which would be the perfect time to spend with Medic - If he wanted to stop working, that is. Just don't picture it but, Chef will literally sit in the medbay for hours just to be near the guy, but it isn't bad? The drone of machinery or the scratching of his pen is relaxing, or having his doves nearby is always sweet! Plus, he's prone to talking their ear off when he finds something interesting, so they'll chime in and have some back and forth.
But, yknow - sometimes having someone's undivided attention is nice and Chef is pretty dense when it comes to that and wonders why they feel so upset.
They swallow their pride and ask Medic if they sleep in his room one night and Medic's not as dense as Chef, he understands that they'd never ask for something so out of the blue for no reason and he promises to finish up his work early so they could head to bed together. Chef had nothing planned, they literally just needed that affection and closeness - since it was their day off Medic takes the hint and puts his work aside for the time being.
They'd probably sleep in and stay in bed a while longer before getting ready together - no uniform required. Chef isn't so talkative in the mornings, Medic's noticed, but they were happily fiddling with his buttons and tie, humming in thought before answering his questions. Medic's seen them out of uniform of course, but it's always funny seeing them in just a button up and jeans like … mom on the go vibes. Medic leaves his coat behind before making his way to the kitchen with Chef.
The kitchen usually has a couple people loitering around, grabbing their coffee or honestly, waiting around for Chef because they always make extra and these bitches are lazy. But the kitchen has now become A Medic Supremacy Zone and he has first dibs - the benefits of being w/ Chef I guess. The two would work as if the others weren't there, keeping their conversation between each other even if that means Medic tilting his head down while Chef leans in closer to reply. There's a high possibility the other have left them to their own devices, seeing as the couple was ignoring them / knows they won't be getting anything. Breakfast isn't extraordinary but it feels special since they actually get to sit across each other and share the morning today.
It's possible that they'd go out and run some errands today, but it's a cover to window shop and walk around. I'll be honest, they probably haven't had proper dates so it's refreshing. You could ask Chef what they liked the most and they're just like :] Yes.
Other times, they like to curl up and catch up with some reading (well, Medic at least) while Chef rests against him and skim over the words. They're not too invested in what he's reading but likes to have some idea of what he's talking about so they don't ask too many questions. (Very 'these words are big and english/german is not my first language + I can't read as fast as you can so I got lost 7 pages ago). Medic likes to watch Chef garden and tries to help them tend to whatever they're able to grow in the goddamn desert. He overwaters a cactus and looks away if it dies. Chef talks ab how they're growing mint and how it really took off while Medic's standing there like :] Oh, lets make tea with that. Because they're Old People (read: Medic is old)
🕊🐁
ivy - how do you take care of each other when you’re sick?
Chef is easier to take care of when they're sick. They continue working until they're pretty beat but once they feel sick and a break doesn't work, they'll try to finish up what they can before turning in early. They see themselves to bed and inform whoever's near that they won't ne there at dinner and if they really cant figure it out, then come get them - other than that, they're barricading themselves in their room.
When they're sick they're REALLY sick but recovery time is usually a few days (depending on how bad it is). They basically hibernate and don't like being disturbed. They're used to not fending for themselves since they've been on their own for a while but really appreciate all the check ins Medic does w/ them, especially when they're all better.
Medic, being...their Medic, he definitely gives them a check up when they first begin showing symptoms and he can be a stickler when it comes to drinking fluids and eating properly. Chef usually has a finicky stomach as it is so Medic really urges them to drink soups and easy foods like bread and crackers. He checks in on them A LOT, even if that's just peeking in to see if they're asleep or not. He backs off when Chef gives him a cold stare from under the covers and minimizes his intrusions/tries to be more sneaky about it. He has colder hands and they let out a sigh when he puts his hand to their cheek or forehead to check their temperature.
Chef doesn't hesitate to take any medication he has for them, mostly bc they aren't fully coherent but they also don't have energy to care, in fact they have the thought that if he accidentally kills them, maybe respawn will cure them. Unfortunately, Medic debunks this before they can even muster up the energy to ask.
Overall 7.5/10, very good patient. Will refuse to get up and accidently falls asleep in the shower which scares the shit out of him.
Medic on the other hand is very stubborn and doesn't like to stop working unless there's something that physically stops him (ex: vomiting, serious injuries [unlikely bc medigun], etc). If he tricked the Devil, surely the man can beat the common cold or flu! Unfortunately he gets those full body shivers and feels terrible. He can be pretty dramatic when he's sick and everyone's subjected to his bad attitude.
It's Chefs turn to play doctor - they can tell by looks alone that he's under the weather. His face is flushed and he's a bit sloppily put together, which isn't *too uncommon* but his tie isn't tied and his glasses lamely slide down his nose. They tsk a bit while taking his temperature just to keep track of it before ushering him to his room.
He can be dragged to bed if persistent enough. Chef's firm hold on his arm is enough for him to get off his chair and have them tug him along. He doesn't have any room to argue with them as they look up at him, so he relents, stating that a short break would definitely do him good, but he'll be up and at em by tomorrow.
Chef is doting and becomes a bit of a helicopter parent when checking on him. This mostly consists of peeking their head in but not really stepping in the room. Every so often they'll wake him up to drink water and either hand him an ice pack or offer a cold towel and move to dab at his forehead and neck.
Medic hasn't been too keen on having others taking care of him bc that's HIS job, and he often tries to shoo Chef away by saying he's more than alright now. Sometimes he's caught sitting up in bed doing work or taking notes on something bc he's a bit restless when he's sick and stationary for too long.
But he's right. He's very good at taking care of himself - when Chef offers him food he'll force himself to eat some of it and he's drinks plenty of fluids without needing reminders. He kinda bosses Chef around, telling them to grab certain medications from the Medbay. They trust his judgment on his own health and bring him what he asks for but Chef keeps a mental note of what he takes and when. Don't need the doctor accidentally taking too many pills today!
Overall 6.5/10. It's hard to get him into bed and becomes restless fairly easily. He is persistent that he's ok after one day of rest only to be found sneezing himself away in the Medbay.
#tf2 oc#self insert#medic#self ship#tf2 headcanons#my headcanons#my writing#i guess#'have you written enough?' idk you tell me.#s: soul food#if anyone reads even a part of this im sorry#💙 2d's spouse 💙#mars!!!#ahh thank you again.. sorry these are so late ahshhd i get caught up w/ other stuff so this was self care <3 !#im very passionate ab medic YSHDHD like yeah no shit bitch 🦧
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Atsushi inadvertently becomes the ADA’s jack of all trades through the power of YouTube Tutorials. Kenji accidentally breaks a desk? YouTube tutorial. They need no-bake cookies for Ranpo’s sugar cravings? YouTube tutorial. He needs to figure out Excel because Kunikida is panicking about deadlines again? YouTube tutorial. Dazai was so chaotic that he broke a bone and they need an emergency split while Yosano isn’t there? YouTube tutorial. Anyways! (Nyanon, 1/6)
It’s okay, they grew up in an awful situation and only had each other, they can bath together a lot and no one can say anything. But yesss that sounds like something she’d do- And actually, maybe she and Kyouka don’t get along, at first? Because Lucy feels her position as Best Friend is being threatened by having someone so close to them, and Kyouka might not trust anyone outside of Atsushi for a little bit. That’s just how the mind works sometimes! (Nyanon, 2/6)
Then they realize they both like using their closeness with Atsushi to piss off Dazai and they’re just like, “oh, a Comrade.” Also, do you think Atsushi would know about his ability, here? Since Lucy would be there, too, and she has a pretty obvious ability, so maybe they’d put the pieces together... And hm, recommendations? Well, I’m not multilingual, so these will all be English language books- I’m awful at learning new ones, nothing sticks- But let’s see... (Nyanon, 3/6)
Well, I’ve always been a fan of Fablehaven and Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, and while I’m not as big a fan of it, the Percy Jackson universe is well known for being pretty inclusive compared to other series, I think. All three of them combine the modern world and fantasy pretty well, though the first focuses more on magical fantasy, the last focuses more on mythological fantasy, and the second focuses on a combination of them. (Nyanon, 4/6)
(Also, speaking of fantasy, I now have a feel-good Magic Reserve AU. I have too many AUs.) But! While I’m not an avid reader of detective novels myself, I do agree that Ranpo lending Atsushi books is adorable~ I want them to interact more than they do in canon, ugh. I want Atsushi to interact more with everyone than he does in canon, really. Moving on to another General Atsushi Concept: He hand makes a good majority of the presents he gives to others! (Nyanon, 5/6)
As mentioned earlier, he might consult a YouTube tutorial to do it, but he just doesn’t always have a lot of money- So he hopes that homemade dolls or accessories, baked goods, photo albums, and other things made by hand are just as good. He’s always worried that the receiver will hate it, afterwards, but it’s the thought that counts, right? (Nyanon, 6/6)
ATSUSHI JACK OF ALL TRAADEESSSS my talented baby he can do anything he wants. lucy would at first but seeing how kyouka had a pretty sad childhood she would definitely see herself in kyouka and soften up- but that sweet sweet bickering would remain- until they come to their senses and finally realise that queens stick together and piss off dazai
while i do feel like he WOULD know i also feel like he W O U L DNT??? like, since he cant control his ability unlike lucy- it feels like she wouldnt tell him because she knows the guilt would be too much if he realises that HES the one causing so much trouble and he cant control it- and would definitely justify the headmasters abuse even MORE. so while he would know, i also see why he wouldnt. but when he does get to know with dazai and the others he’ll definitely be sad/mad at lucy for keeping it from him but after a heartfelt conversation he’ll understand and theyll make up uwu
(it feels kinda weird to have a universe where atsushi Knows of his ability and then have the same story of how he got into the ADA play out- for some reason i cant wrap my head around how THAT would work)
dont worry!! while i am multi lingual i dont mind reading mostly english books- most detective novels i be reading (even lighthearted ones for kids) are in the language of the country i live in. ooo percy jackson!!! love those books uwuwu though ive only read a few of them. and ill check the other books out when i have the time!!
i want atsushi to interact with everyone in canon more as well smh, especially fukuzawa and yosano- idk they just seem more interesting owo. BU T him making most of the presents he gives AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THATS SO CUTEEEEEEE, he’ll definitely put a lot of time on them and make sure theyre perfect ugh <333 hes so cute and anyone getting a present from him would appreciate it so much (tho i feel like maybe for some special occassions like maybe the persons birthday, he’ll also buy a present at the side- maybe some snacks, a thing theyve been talking about- atsushi would probably keep note of what the people closest to him have been wanting throughout the year)
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