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#i dont know why i felt like i needed to add all that context but heres half my life story i guess ahdkfk
ghostbergara · 2 years
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Blue and maybe midnight for one ask game, 🔥 for the other
Have a nice day/good night!
aw thank you, right back at ya!
for 🔥 i think it actually changed quite a lot! so this might be long because im not good at making..words..short? (i dont speak english sdbjk)
I realized I was queer around when i was 12-13, i had always felt.. off? Different? I think in the same way i've heard a lot of other queer people describe. I also grew up in a very small conservative town and we moved when i was 12 so now thinking about it, that change in environment probably allowed me to figure myself out a little bit more. Now 12 might seem young to some people, but i honestly probably should have known sooner i was trans, actually i think i knew, i just didn't have the language. Before i knew my mom had talked a lot about how much will power can accomplice and i thought if i just wanted it hard enough i would wake up a boy (which obviously didn't work so i woke up disappointed every morning). I went as far as to pray??? to god??? i am NOT religious and i never was (which actually got a me in trouble in school a few times but thats another story) asking them to make me a boy (which unsurprisingly also didn't work). I think if i remember correctly i found out about trans-ness mainly from Sam Collins (who is a trans youtuber) which then led me in a spiral of googling and watching everything i could about being trans and how to know if you're trans. I even made a Pros and Cons list of reasons i was and wasn't trans??? (I cant find it anymore but the cons list only had one thing and i cant even remember what it was) Then after some time i sent a video by sam collins where he talks about being trans with his mom, to my dad! He was very supportive until he wasn't and thats also another story. He then told my mom for me and they ended up both being very unsupportive for a very long time.
ANYWAY im getting off track from the question. I didn't have much energy to focus on anything other than staying alive for a very very long time and in turn didnt have the energy to even think much about my identity (i was out as trans and so on). Now in recent years first of all my mom has become very supportive and im doing worlds better and ive finally gotten through the system and gotten hormones and later this year i have my first top surgery consultation. I've figured out my sexuality (or i though i had, i dont know, i like men and maybe more??? Im either gay or bi). Experienced tons of trans and homophobia and most importantly really feel like i've entered the community.
HERES WHERE I ACTUALLY ANSWER THE QUESTION
Now i think i feel more 'free'? Being queer definently makes me feel like i can really be who i want to be, like i'm not defined by stereotypes and stupid cis-straight 'rules' that i dont understand. I'm grateful for the experiences it's brought me, both positive and negative, because it's made me more empathetic and im better dressed for helping and talking with other queer and in some ways even just generally marginalized people. I'm also very aware of the impact i can have as a queer person, both on other queer people and on straight people. I tend to like to wear at least one thing that will mark me as queer in at least other queer peoples eyes because that for them often means safe and not alone. I know from first hand experience how scary it can be to be queer out in the world and if i can bring even the slightest relief to people i will. I certainly feel more at ease when theres other queer people around. When it comes to impact on straight people it's the way i know i can make them understand more and sometimes take the burden off a newly-out queer person by answering some of the questions they have instead of them asking that newly-out person. Of course i have also gotten the "I thought trans people were freaks until i met you, but you're just like normal" which while it sucks at least they hopefully in the future will be more open.
I feel like im more in a way. I have an impact on the world and a possibility to help others like me in a way that is so meaningful and i cherish that.
what colors am i?
LGBTQ+/Queer Themed Asks
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glitchysquidd · 6 months
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glitchy, i know you probably didnt mean it all in a way of hate but like you do know the n word was used to talk down and rebuke people of dark skin back in the slavery days. And i understand that its said a lot in your area but like for you to support it is not really putting you in a good light.
like i dont think you personally say it but you basically stood up for kaz saying it and him saying it like that just doesnt sit well with me.
i just heard about the drama with you guys and melo a couple hours ago so like idk..
melo seemed pretty upset about it so like idk, im not trying to hate on you or anything im just tryin to say why so many people would get offended by it, which i agree with because even though im white it could still harm dark skinned people, even if the person saying it IS dark skinned
Okay, I completely get this.
I completely understand this, I don't stand for the word either, in fact it bugs me or irritates me to hear it. I need you to understand from my point of view.
I didn't want a situation.
I tried talking to melo about it quickly to get it done with but worded it all horribly. That's my bad, that's my fault.
Kaz does not say it often or even ever, he does not make racist jokes "all the time."
And yes it's still bad he even said it even once. And they left out the context that kaz was reading offensive memes with melo.
It wasn't overly aggressive in context.
Does it make it okay? No.
He even came to me about it later that night, saying he was uncomfortable that even he had said it.
He was upset with himself.
Rightfully so.
I feel it's fair to add he also felt slightly pressured by Melo asking him again and again if he's racist.
It's definitely my fault that I worded it in a way that made him seem definitely racist when thats my fault.
He shouldn't be receiving a lot of flak I think I should for the misinformation and poor wording.
I've even told my friends who have said it to stop. I know I still hang out with them but it's literally just the environment I live in.
I don't like this environment, I want to leave as soon as possible.
Melo has left out context, etc. And Kaz didn't talk them down, maybe it seemed that way from their view but... his jokes do kind of poke and prod in a friendly way. I understand maybe they were too nervous to ask or speak up. However Kaz didn't mean it in a mean way or harmful way.
And Melo isn't perfect in this situation either.
Are they wrong for talking about it and expressing worry? No, that's their right, they can do as they please.
Personally I don't like situations like this because then people are fighting with each other. I didn't mean to be scary to them because I'm a bigger artist I'm barely popular by actual normal standards.
I apologize on my mistakes, as so does Kazachi.
They didn't try to completely talk it through with me, I would have respectfully had a talk with them.
I in no way meant any harm in this situation.
I'll take my fault.
I know I'm not completely in the right.
I understand people who block me, and unfollow me. Feel free to do so.
There's nothing I can personally say to make the situation right. I'm not perfect, never was, I'm sorry.
You guys might not see me for awhile, as I'm not in a good head space currently, but I hope you guys have a nice time.
I will probably reply to a few more things.
But I cannot say much on the situation.
I just can't.
I'm sorry this even happened to begin with.
Any posts further on that don't talk about this situation are more than likely scheduled/queued.
I haven't been in a good head space in awhile and I definitely need a break from the internet.
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sagetsukimura · 6 months
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In light of what's occuring in Israel, and Gaza, I've been trying so hard to find the words that could help, that could change something. It only takes one person, as long as it's the right person, to change this, yeah? If i could find the right words, someone could find the words, maybe-
Maybe.
But it just feels like I'm banging on a door that will never open. They already know what I want to say. They have already made up their minds. They don't even want to read them.
As a writer, words are a way I reach out, connect to others, and make them feel, because thats what communication is- conveying a wish, a thought, a feeling. But in a world where you can be bombarded with tweet and emails, why would anyone take the time to read them? In a sea where thousands are saying the same, trying to find a way to connect to someone, anyone, to tell them how unbearable it all is. Can't you see? And show them.
Because this doesn't feel like a disagreement. It feels like they are just straight up refusing to look, like if they dont see it, its not happening, and if its not happening, than its not real, and if its not real, its not WRONG.
And it is, can't you feel it? It feels so WRONG.
Videos are working well; how couldn't they? They are the truth, brutal and graphic and horrible and there for all to see. Propaganda struggles with it, lets be honest. More and more people are seeing. But it feels like its not enough, not fast enough, anyway. By the time enough people understand, won't we have run out of time?
But it's easy to just scroll past. It takes time to watch a video, after all.
So the issue is time, right? It takes time to read words, to feel them. Time to watch a video, and understand what you are seeing.
It's passed midnight, and words dont feel like enough.
-So lets to it the old fashioned way!- My brain suggests. -You need to do something with all this guilt and grief and helplessness anyway! Better to build than to break, make something beautiful out of the ugly. Something to make them LOOK. Make them FEEL-
-Art has been around longer than words, anyhow. The right colors in the right place, and their eyes will stick, for just a second longer. Faces, brains are good at registering those. Placement, into that familar swirl, a puzzle, a picture, just a moment. The feeling will be there before they finish realizing what they are looking at.-
-That's harder to run from. You can forget an article you read, a video you scrolled right past.-
-But a painting? When your eyes are designed to catch those colors, follow those lines, make that connection? That's harder. Especially if you pause, and keep looking. The feeling grows. -
-They'll look for words. Of course they will. Words add context, explain. Tell you what to think before you feel. One of humanities greatest inventions. -
-But we are artists before we learn to write, and so the colors speak first. What is a writer, but a painter with words?-
-If there are no words attached, or very few, you are forced to follow that feeling, look around. Know it in a way you couldn't before. Wouldn't.-
-What is this painting trying to say? They will think. But that's the second step. I've already done my job.-
-They've seen it now, a hint of a soul made bare. Felt it, briefly, in the tightening in thier chest. Just for a moment. -
-Words fail, I think, in moment like these, when no one is listening. -
-So maybe I can make them SEE.-
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casperillion · 3 months
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i cant post the orignial context because i think op blocked me but thats fine, i just want to air my thoughts and tbh if theyre not looking anymore im happier abt that.
to summarise a little bit of what this is abt, i replied to an article that very much implied that all trans men are loud misogynists, especially towards trans women which is not something i agree with. my reasons for not agreeing with this is very much based on my real world and online experiences of growing up in the queer community with many trans people around me. I stated that i dont think that misogynistic trans men (which look, i know they exist, ive met them) should be considered the majority and on top of that it feels very weird to focus so heavily on that when trans men do not hold a position of power over other trans people, especially not systematically.
to be fair to op i didnt explain this as clearly as i could originally since my first response to the article was very much an emotional response.
anyway op told me the world would be better off without me in it and that i should kill myself, that im a transmisogynist, and that im the reason they hate that theyre trans masc. someone else told them to back off bc while they agreed with op they thought it was a bit fucked up to say that, i responded to them and clarified my points and this person also ended up agreeing with me.
op then messaged me privately with this
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okay context done here are my thoughts, i'll try to split this up so its a bit easier to read Original point
so for this one, trans men and our issues are very often erased or only ever brought up as an after thought. I dont feel like i need to explain why erasure is bad but the biggest issue i find with this is lack of resources and lack of coverage or even knowledge about the shit trans men deal with in a cisnormativity society.
this article was rough for me to read because it described every trans man that the writer had met as someone who became a loud misogynist and the conclusion was that all trans men were that way, if not openly then secretly. I know this is not the case because i know many trans men and trans masculine people, many of those men are very passionate supporters of trans women, nb people, and cis women. honestly i think these experiences say more about the person who wrote the article than trans men as a whole.
this attitude is used by TERFs to harass trans men who they see as "traitors" and its where i see this sort of thing most often. its very weird to be this focused on this subject especially without discussing how complex being trans masculine is.
its kinda hard to put everything into words, i'll add on more when i remember it later
To the person who posted the article that is now harassing me
im not gonna name them but looking through thier blog actually... made me really sad. they are the type of people that have fallen victim to this kind of thing. they hate men, and they hate themselves even more for being one.
its so sad to me that they see themself like that, its kinda hard to even know if theres a way i can help them, i want to though. even though they were incredible weird towards me.
digression into them being weird actually bc ive been thinking abt it.
they were very quick to judge who i am as a person without knowing anything about me, made a lot of assumptions that arent true. it felt a lot like projection because like?? idk its wild to doubt that i care about my close friends???? you dont know any of us?? you dont even know what community i come from?? i know trans women from like, actually idk the youngest age but roughly from 20 years old to 40+, most of the trans men i know are in their 20s, and i dont even know what the range for nb people i know is because ive met too many and i stopped keeping track. I've lived with other trans people in person of all genres (idk i dont have a better word) , ive volunteered in places where ive met and helped trans women get back on their feet while experiencing financial hardship. as a teenager i was involved in creating safe spaces for trans and gnc teens in my city to meet each other and hang out. less relevant but ive also be outright told by women im close with that they value my perspective when we have discussions about misogyny, actually that was literally 2 nights ago while we were discussing the best way to create a safe space for women and trans fems. obviously op knows none of this but its wild that they just.. assumed so much and decided that my voice was not important or worth listening to.
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aetherknit · 2 years
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diversity win! cisgender streamer said that they dont care abt what pronouns are used even tho they use he/him exclusively
LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
answering a huge chunk of asks about pronouns discourse below
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^ this is one time ill allow myself to get a little biased in the answer but like dream is genuinely very courteous and understands that he has a lot to learn from his fans and that hes made many mistakes... and sometimes it opens him up to be taken advantage of (albeit often unintentionally!!! in no way do i mean to take lgbt fans in bad faith) so he gives cautious answers like this and everyone runs fucking WILDDDD
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i dont know if these ppl havent talked to enough cis people but: CIS PEOPLE DONT CARE IF YOU USE THEY/THEM 99% OF THE TIME. i cant even go into explaining why but cis people have a different mindset when it comes to gender they just do. this entire ask though is EXTREMELY based like. well....(see above answer lmao)
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FELT. im saurrrr fem-presenting i think if someone told me i had she/they vibes id just close my eyes forever
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i hope this has been as validating for u as it has been for me . i try not to be all ~superiority complex about not being a twitter main~ but to articulate it more accurately: twitter is a bit more guilty of hivemind and they have much less space to make their claims/argue so sometimes it can be EXTREMELY draining to be surrounded by that and it can make u feel more alone than u are LMAO
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no srsly and although im definitely like "dream is unlabeled in his sexuality yay" and technically hasnt i guess used the word cis (most cis people havent :sob:) i have always gotten the vibe that at least some of these fans are ppl who feel guilty over stanning someone who isnt lgbt enough and/or is white and it compounds into some frankly Odd grabs for queerness where there is (presumably) none <- again a lot of this is conjecture/meant to be a blanket statement and not just about dream. but i get what u mean
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am i far enough down in this post yet to bring up the way a chunk of smiletwt treats eret...... Well i wont say more
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WELCOME BACK we will never catch a break will we LMFAOOO i cant keep my mouth shut abt this topic im glad it annoys u like it annoys me. i cant even add anything to this bc u so succinctly hit so many good points i agree with. vouch vouch vouch. sooo happy for boomer and its still a clip that makes me smile but sometimes ifl its used to justify some freak behavior in donos
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poorly guided need for validation & representation + some lacking lgbt-experience (sorry this sounds condescending i dont mean it like that im just speaking from my own life lmfao) + needing emotional outlet = u are about to act like a weird truther
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this is lacking context atp but i need this anon to know that this made me smile <3 even if theyre baiting me to do something that will get me lambasted (slash extremely lighthearted xoxo) LMFAO
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nikrangdan · 3 years
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roommate!heeseung pt. 1
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pairing: roommate!heeseung x female reader
genre: mini fic(?), fluff, comedy, tiny angst(one little sad part)
warnings: cursing!!! 
word count: 4.3k
description: i guess you just didnt realize you were in love with your roommate...... who has a girlfriend
————
“ow!”
you had just hit heeseung over the head after he said he would burn all of your plushies
your Precious. Plushies
hell no you’ve been collecting these since you were 11 no way in hell heeseung would threaten ur babies
you rolled your eyes and started to walk to the kitchen to get a snack
stupid heeseung
hes always saying stupid shit🙄
before you walked out though you noticed the look on his face
like he was contemplating something
“y/n... can you do me a favor?” he nervously uttered out before you walked out his door
“....what kind..?” you furrowed your brows
why was he being so cryptic
“uhh i need you to get flowers and chocolates for me from stacys....”
STACYS?????????
stacys was this fancy store 45 MINUTES AWAY..
“ur fucking serious?” you deadpanned
this was something new
in all your 8 months of living with him he had never asked you of a favor this big
for context.., you had moved to this city apartment for college 8 months ago but you couldn’t afford it without a roommate
but luckily you overheard a certain boy praying for an apartment while you were on campus
and you guessed it!!! it was heeseung
you two clicked easily and you were very thankful he was your roommate
after 4 months of living together he told you he got a girlfriend
you didnt really know about his campus life since you didnt have classes together and you never saw him walking around
you dont know why you were surprised when he told you... i mean have u seem Him.....
but nonetheless
u were like “Omg heeseung!!! thats great<3” like the supportive friend u were
yeah and that was that
you didnt meet the girl until another month later
Now that..... that was an experience......
FLASHBACK WHOOSH
*knock knock knock*
who tha hell was knocking at 7 in the morning.........
you staggered your way over to the front door with your matching hello kitty pajamas
and u open the door to see a blonde Lady who looks around your age
Why did u forget to look thru the little peephole in the door...... ur probably just tired whatever
anyways ur like
“uhm....”
and shes like
“? who are you.?”
and ur like
??!!?[\^€]€\¥,_[+{*}*
“i live here....”
and shes like
“?...? oh sorry i thought my boyfriend lived here..”
and ur both just standing there like ;-;
shes all dressed up and u look like a childs room threw up on u
And thats when it hit u
“OH”
“are you heeseungs girlfriend?!!???” your hand raises up to point at her unconsciously
“ yes.. i am” she looked so lost it was so funny
“oh then you have the right place im sorry! hes my roommate” you scurry back into the apartment, gesturing for her to come in and close the door behind her
“what? he didnt tell me had a roommate..”
poor girl 😭😭😭
you quite literally pounce into heeseungs room and smack him while shes still standing outside awkwardly in the living room
“fucking idiot” smack to the face
“wake up” smack to the chest
“heeseung i swear to god” you shake his head
“are you fucking dead???? wake up!!!!” you pinch his ears really hard
that woke him up
“Ow ow ow ow OWWW y/n what the hell???” his eyes are forced open but theyre squinted due to the sunlight
“your girlfriend is here” you whisper-yell at him
“what???” he sat up so quickly you almost laughed
you were 90% sure she heard everything
oh well
his problem
he just stares into space for a second before his eyes go wide
ur just sitting on his bed waiting for him to do something like Uhhh
“shit i planned a date today oh my god” he jumped up from his bed and hastily told you to “stay put” before throwing on a hoodie, walking to see his girlfriend, and slamming his bedroom door leaving u sat on his bed
yes u were nosy Muahahahahah
so u pressed ur ear against the door to listen to their conversation
“sora, im so sorry i slept in late i promise ill make it up to you please baby dont be mad”
you had to stifle your laughter with your hand
God this was gold
“heeseung why didnt you tell me you lived with a girl.”
oooooooh hes in trouble you laugh to yourself
“ah about that.. im sorry i didnt tell you.. dont worry though, you know i only like you! shes just my roommate”
ouch
Why did that hurt 😪
“whatever heeseung.. ill call you later” and then you heard the door slam
already???? you were ready to get ur popcorn :///
you didnt even notice it had been a while before the door opened with you still leaning on it
boom u fell on the floor
“ow”
“shut up” he said before jumping face down on his bed
you stand up to lean against his door again, staring pitifully at the boy
“you okay?” you cross your arms
“mmm” he mumbles into his pillow
“you know i think i deserve a treat for being woken up at 7am on a sunday by your little girlfriend”
“little? shes taller than you” he turned around to lay on his back and chuckle
“oh so you’re making jokes right now when your girlfriend might break up with you?” you glare at him
“shes not gonna break up with me over something this little” he rolls his eyes and grabs his phone from his nightstand
“you know you’re a little piece of shit heeseung!” you yell out to him after you walked out of his room
“how?!” he yelled back
“treat your girlfriend better!”
he kept his mouth shut after that
yeah you two didnt talk for the rest of the day because he stayed in his room sulking or whatever
fast forward to now
Right after he asked u to get him the chocolates and flowers
“please y/n, sora is gonna be here in 2 hours and i need to get everything ready and i dont have enough time to do everything” he begged
WITH THOSE CUTE LITTLE PUPPY DOG EYES OF HIS GOD
“do you really need them from stacys though???” you whined
he just huffed and glared at you “yes! sora only likes them from there.”
“nuh uh mister dont give me that look” you narrow your eyes at him
he immediately stops his glare and tries to look neutral
it almost made you laugh
you just looked at him for a few seconds before giving up
“fine. but what am i getting in return?”
his eyes lit up and traveled up as he was in thought
“hmmm ill buy you food whenever you want for a month”
Wow
“woah thats more than i bargained for but deal!” he didnt realize that until after you shook his hand, very enthusiastically might i add
Lol
so now you were on your way home with the MASSIVE bouquet of roses and beautifully wrapped chocolates sitting nice and snug in the passenger seat of your car
these two things costed $115
oh well its heeseungs money not yours
you found it amusing because heeseung was nowhere near rich so where was he finding this money to blow
over an hour later and ur finally back home
u open the door
u struggled very much btw
almost dropped everything haha
but woah......
your eyes widened and your mouth fell open
“heeseung? you didn’t tell me you two were having the date here..”
as soon as you walked in you smelled a pretty scent and the lighting was dim
it was beautiful
there were candles lit on every surface
rose petals were scattered messily everywhere
the two seater dining table was topped with elegant decor
there was quiet jazz music playing from his speaker
the familiar aroma of your favorite food hit you
standing there in your apartment didnt feel real
it felt like you were in a dream
you couldnt believe your apartment could turn into room from a fairytale
you were never one to be into disney princesses and fantasies
but for the first time ever you almost wished for a prince charming yourself
you almost got lost in a trance
and then....
the boy himself walked out
donned in an all black suit with a sliver of the white undershirt peeking underneath and the white tie
his bangs were covering his forehead and you noticed he styled them to be wavy
he had his earrings in and rings were present on 3 of his fingers
he looked absolutely dazzling
you dont know how or why.. but your heart began to race
why did this feel like it was for you...?
you wanted to be his disney princess
staring at him wistfully, it felt like time had stopped
“oh thanks y/n, i almost thought you ditched me” he chuckled quickly
he was frantic and out of breath as he snatched the things out of your hand
“right!” he began as he sped around the room setting everything up
“im sorry but i forgot to ask if you could leave for today. im such an idiot, im sorry y/n.. you can stay at a friends house or something for the night?” he didnt even look at you as he perfected the chocolates on the counter and the plates on the table
you couldnt help but notice your heart clench and your stomach twist at his words
you were still glued to your spot infront of the door
“o-oh! yeah, okay thats fine ill get my stuff now” you scurry to your room
you speedily threw some clothes and necessities in a bag before walking back to him
“hey..”
he didnt look at you
“helloooo”
“heeseung” you poke him
he finally turned to you
“sorry what?” he gazed down at you with big eyes
“its okay.. just wanted to let you know im leaving now” you give him a small smile
“oh right! thank you y/n again” he grinned
his pretty smile
“you look great by the way... have fun” you manage to say before slipping out the door
you didnt let him reply back because if you stayed in there a second longer you think you would’ve fallen in love with him
where did these feelings come from...?
you smack yourself on your forehead as youre walking down the steps to your car
ur probably just feeling like this because no man has ever done anything like that for u
and seeing it in real life made u want a bf 😟😟
yeah... thats it
so now ur at sunoos house
a close friend from your finance class
he lives in his parents house but theyre never home so he basically owns the place and doesn’t have to pay for it
Yeah u kinda envy the boy
but you love him because hes great
“y/n ..do you like him????” sunoo gasps
you guys are watching tangled for the 10th time and you were explaining what happened back at your apartment
“what? where did you get that from?” you snort, your eyes still focused on the movie
you could literally feel his eyes piercing into your soul with that stare
“the way you were telling me that story.... you sounded a bit jealous if i do say so myself..” he raises his eyebrow and leans back into the couch
“i do not like heeseung, sunoo” your eyes roll and you turn to look at him finally
he has a little smirk as he looks at u suspiciously
“hmmm okay, i get it” he raises his arms in defense and surrenders “you don’t wanna talk about it”
you scoff and laugh at his actions “you’re so annoying”
so ..*time skip* lol
you slept at sunoos for the night
it wasnt anything new bc u used to stay at his alot while u were in the process of moving into your apartment
one of his guest rooms is practically urs bc u have some decorations and spare clothes there :P
when you woke up that sunday morning you realized you forgot to set an alarm
so now its like 11am
well its not like you needed to be home so you shrugged it off
“morning” u said to sunoo when u saw him sitting on the couch watching wreck it ralph
boy loves his movies
“when are you going home?”
“wow rude.... not even a good morning back??” you found him amusing
“sorry, good morning. when are you going home” he turned his head to look at you
it made you laugh
Sunoo is so funny u love him
“do u wanna get rid of me that bad??? i hate you”
“ni-ki and jungwon are coming over today and i dont want you smothering them like you always do” he playfully glares at you
NI-KI AND JUNGWON???!!!??!!!!!!
“MY BABIES????” you exclaim and jump on the couch next to sunoo
“yes” he exasperatingly says
“now leave before they get here”
“WHAT?? no im staying because i wanna see them”
“NO!!!! now get out of my house y/n”
“why not?!!???! sunoo please i bet they miss me so much”
“y/n please.. they do NOT miss you”
“they literally do i always make them cookies and theyre like y/n ur so cool we love you”
“u mustve been hallucinating....”
“sunoo please please please i dont wanna go home” u tried to muster up the cutest puppy dog eyes ever
he looked at your face for a moment
“no u look ugly”
“YOU’RE SO ANNOYING” you push him
“theyre coming back tomorrow you can come then! today is boys night”
“boys night?” you snort “what the fuck are u kids gonna do that i cant be around for?”
“SHUT UP Y/N get out of my house!” he just starts to drag you out of his house himself
“ow oW OKAY fine ill leave... have fun doing.. whatever you’re gonna do” you grab your bag and start to head for the door
sunoo slams the door in ur face after he says “bye dont come back please” 😭😭😭
“asshole!” u yell to him thru the door
you just huff and stand on his porch for a second
you wonder if heeseung still has his girlfriend over and decide to text him
y/n🦧: hi can i come back home
welp
now ur sitting on sunoos porch waiting for a reply
10  minutes pass while ur scrolling on your phone and still no reply
you look up when you hear the front door open
“why are you still here?” sunoo frowns at you
“heeseung didnt answer my text and i dont wanna go back if his girlfriend is still there” you reply
“go home y/n plz.... i lied jungwon and ni-ki arent coming over.. my grandparents are” he tries to shoo you away
“why would you lie about that” you laugh
“theyre really mean! but you can come back tomorrow because the boys are actually gonna be here.. now go because my grumpy grandparents are gonna be here in like 5 minutes” he guides your shoulders down his porch
“ugh.. if his girlfriend is still there its your fault” you pout
“wha- how is that my- whatever y/n go home!!!”
when you drive off you dramatically wave your hand to him trying to show how desperately you did not wanna go home
sunoo just giggles and runs back inside
you drove home extra slow Lol
and now you were at the door contemplating whether or not you just make a run for it
but u said fuck it because u missed the comforts of ur own room
well u knocked a little before unlocking the door
how embarrassing to be knocking on the door of ur own home 💀
you didnt get an immediate answer so u just stood outside in the apartment hallway....waiting....
after waiting for like 30 seconds (because ur impatient) you knock again
well i tried to be nice you thought
you finally gave up and unlocked the door with your keys, kind of slowly opening the door to peek in
hmmm.... nothing
the sun was emitting some rays of light through one of the windows but none of the lights were on
and why was there food still on the table..?
you were kind of afraid to go see heeseung 
but
you did notice one thing
there wasn’t a pair of shoes u didnt recognize sitting on the rack by the door 
so... is his girlfriend not here or did she bring her shoes to his room lol..
“hello?” you unconfidently called out to nobody in particular
no answer
you slipped your shoes off quietly and tiptoed towards the hallway that included both of your rooms across from eachother
the kitchen and living room looked untouched 
to describe u being confused would be an understatement
you set your bag down on your bed and then made your way to heeseung.. just to check on him
you were genuinely so confused rn
you thought they would be cuddling on the couch or talking in his room or something but it was dead silent throughout the house
“heeseung?” you soft knocked on the door of his bedroom
surely he couldnt still be asleep.. it was noon on a monday and heeseung would normally be up by 10 because he said he would “start being a more productive man” as he said it
you always laughed at him because he used to wake up at like 3pm on days he didnt have class
anyways you didnt get an answer which was slightly concerning because you didnt forget to take note that you saw his car in the parking garage when you arrived
“i’m coming in” you called out to him before twisting the knob and pushing the door open
you realized you might be crossing a line and he’d get upset at you for invading his privacy but you were honestly worried for your friend
at first you didn’t see him
his room was empty, not a single person in sight
that is until you further examined the big lump on his bed
“heeseung? what...” you walked over to the lump that you only knew was him because you could see a bit of his hair peeking out from the top
“um.. am i interrupting something..” you awkwardly said, debating whether or not to go closer
he wasn’t saying anything so you guessed he was sleeping
how odd for him
you wanted to just check real quick and then you’d leave his room
so your feet padded softly against his wooden floor as you made your way over to him
and you bent down a little to kind of tug the huge blanket away from his face
as you got closer you also noticed his girlfriend wasnt here
the first thing you noticed was that he was definitely not asleep
your eyes widened and your hand instinctively went to his face to cup his cheek
“are you okay?! why are you crying?” you quickly asked, your eyebrows were furrowed in worry
in your months living with him you have never seen him show any emotional feelings in front of you and it almost made you panic
his eyes locked onto yours before he looked away from you and closed his eyes
he still hasnt said anything and you really didnt know what to do in this situation
you took your hand off his cheek before sighing
now you’re just sat on the side of his bed just looking at him.. wondering what to do
you were sure he wasn’t sleeping even though his eyes were shut and he wouldnt move
but you sat there for 5 minutes and he didnt seem to mind
“sora broke up with me” 
he finally broke the silence
...
you didnt know what to say
you couldnt ask if he was okay when he obviously wasnt
“do you wanna talk about it? you looked over to heeseung to see him staring at you
“not really” he broke eye contact once again and looked up towards the ceiling
“later i will.. just not now” he breathed out
you nodded at that, understanding his situation
you felt terrible for the boy
his eyes were red and his voice was all nasally like he’d been crying
“i’ll leave you alone now..” you patted his big blanket fluff to lighten the mood and walked out his stuffy room
hours had passed while he was stuck in that room and you didnt know what to do 
it was 7pm already
you spent the day watching tv in the living room 
but it was dinner time and you made ramen (his fav!!!) in hopes that he would come out of there
“heeseung you’ve gotta eat” you knock on his door again
you had told him to eat at 2 earlier but he insisted that he wasnt hungry
you were surprised when he instantly opened the door and your hand was still in midair as you were knocking
if your hand moved an inch you wouldve been knocking on his chest which you found very funny but you didnt think this was the right time for jokes
“hi” you looked up at him
he was wearing his purple beanie with sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt
he definitely looked better than he did this morning which you thanked god for
“hey” he gave u this look :]
“you okay? i made ramen.. can you smell it” you kinda giggled
“yeah, thanks” he tried to send you a small smile which you were thankful for
“okay well come eat because i worked very hard on it” you turned on your heels and went towards the tiny kitchen island with two seats
he followed you and sat next to you as you gave him his bowl and chopsticks
“bon appetit!” you clapped your hands before digging in
you were proud of urself ngl... the ramen was smacking
“thank you y/n” he said softly
you refused to admit it but he was.. So Cute
“no problem, just eat” you grinned
and you two ate in silence for a good 15 minutes
he said he would do the dishes after you were done which was relieving because you wanted to go jump in your bed and watch tiktoks very badly
there was a slight awkwardness in the air too so you wanted to let that cool off too
so now you were cuddled up in our bed with your phone very close, almost too close, to your face
and you could hear the sink running as heeseung washed the dishes
you silently prayed he was feeling better and that he would be over it soon
the sink turned off and you could hear his footsteps coming towards the hallway
what surprised you was that you heard knocks on your bedroom door
“can i come in?” he asked
“yeah its open” you replied
u had to get out of ur blanket cocoon :///
you watched him stride over to sit next you on your bed
he even got under the covers and laid down like dang lmao u getting comfy i guess
“whats up?” you were sitting up while he was laying on your pillows
“so.. she broke up with me last night” he spoke while hugging one of your plushies
oh OHH so this is what this is about
“oh.. are you feeling better now?”
“yeah i think.. we only dated for 4 months but i really liked her....”
“did she say why she did?” you asked
“she said she found someone else. i dont know if you know this but shes a year older than me and she told me she wasnt into younger guys which doesnt even make any sense because her ex was younger than her too and-”
“okay heeseung” you laugh “people are like that, you just gotta deal with it”
“yeah yeah, i know” he sighed “i dont know.. i dont know if im sad i lost her or if im sad over the fact that i dont have a girlfriend anymore”
“was she your first girlfriend?”
“me? y/n” he laughed “ive had plenty before”
“oh” you didnt even wanna ask
“why? have you never had a boyfriend or something?” he joked
“no....” you trailed off, unable to look him in the eye out of embarrassment
you were never even embarrassed about that but for some reason admitting it to heeseung made you shy
“what?! no way” he was actually shocked
“yes way now can we change the topic this is terrible” you roll your eyes and shove a plushie in his face
“awee little y/n” he teased you
“get out” you snickered
“okay okay fine.. but yeah i think i’ll be okay. she broke up with me as soon as she got here so all of my planning was for nothing. i think that was what devastated me the most, i had no one to eat with”
you wanted to yell I LITERALLY EXIST soooo bad
Why is he so stupid....... 
“thats sad...” you said
you wanted to laugh at your reply bc what else could you say
“yeah anyways you dont have to worry about taking care of me while im sulking or whatever im cool now’
“well that was quick.. you were acting like a baby this morning now ur this tuff guy” you tease
“yeah yeah i dont even know why i was acting like that” his cheeks went pink
“im just kidding” you send a small smile his way “you know im always here for you right? dont be afraid to be a little emotional sometimes” you reach over to pat his head
“thanks y/n” he smiles “you’re a really great friend”
ouch
yeah.. friend
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angsty-nerd · 3 years
Text
Meta: Echo’s Big Fight in 3x09
Let's talk about the Big Echo fight. Because wandering around in the fandom this past week, I’ve seen a lot of very specific conclusions as far as what they were or weren't arguing about, and I’m not sure my take on that scene really aligns with other folks. So let me try to break it down a bit and give y’all an alternative perspective on it.
To start with, the scene opens with Max on edge because they're breaking and entering. Liz is singularly focused on the mission, and he's kinda freaking out. Instead of responding to his concerns, Liz gets straight to business.
"Ooh, ooh, this is interesting. Heath left Genoryx two days after I did. Must have realized he didn't need to be working underneath their corporate thumb."
Liz is kinda projecting here. Heath never once displayed any discomfort with Genoryx as a company the way that she did. He wanted her to stay. He wanted the resources there. We know these things as an audience, and Liz would too if she was thinking through the big picture at this point in time.
Max, on the other hand, doesn't know any of that. Here's what Max hears from Liz: he hears surprise. He hears Liz acknowledge that this is unexpected news. And right as he’s processing this unexpected reveal...Max sees Heath's Wild Pony t-shirt.
Weird coincidence #1 from Max's POV was Heath (the guy who is currently so pissed at Liz that he won't take her calls) supposedly rescuing Liz's science out of the good of his heart so that Genoryx doesn’t get their hands on it? This doesn't add up.
Weird coincidence #2 was Heath quitting Genoryx - a decision Heath made that Liz wasn't expecting.
The Wild Pony t-shirt is now the 3rd thing that doesn't add up. And if the t-shirt clue isn't adding up for you, see my post about it here:
The T-shirt is strike 3 for Max. He can't really pretend that he's not suspicious of Heath anymore. So he broaches the subject with her.
"How much do you know about this guy, Heath? How close were you?"
Max is feeling uncomfortable and looking for more information. He's trying to make the clue make sense. Why would Heath have the T-shirt? Does he have a connection to Roswell that Liz doesn't know about? And Liz doesn’t listen.
"This isn't the time to be jealous about a boy I met."
For all that Liz is clinical and on mission, she jumps very quickly to assuming that Max is NOT on mission. Yes, Max is inherently more emotional than she is. But throughout the episode he's been asking questions about Heath and NOT JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS. That's one of the keys to me here. Max really is trying to give her the benefit of the doubt about him.
At Liz's house, he asked about "the boyfriend" but he wasn't doing it in a jealous or judgy way. If anything it could almost be interpreted as concern. He started with "were you happy" and only when Liz kind of metaphorically admitted that any happiness was a façade...that's when he brought Heath into it. And yeah, Liz says that he impacted her life and helped her grow, but she didn't exactly express romantic feelings that would make Max jealous. So when she basically jumped straight to the jealousy assumption instead of actually discussing this with him, he starts getting worked up. Because she is not hearing him. She is not acknowledging that the facts they have found during this investigation are not adding up. So he is honest and blunt about what he's thinking.
"I'm just saying it's possible that he took your one-of-a-kind alien spores and quit, so that, just like you, he could use the research himself, free of Genoryx."
Max is the one who brings the science into this conversation. Not Liz. And he's not criticizing or questioning HER application of the science. He's questioning the trustworthiness of Heath. Because the lies are starting to jump out at him like a friggin’ neon light.
BUT — now that he's specifically brought up the science, he has her attention. Because Max questioning her science is HER sore spot. So what does she say back to him? Something kinda judgy.
"That grand trust speech certainly had a short shelf life."
Side note: I really don't think there actually was a "grand trust speech" in this episode. I can think of a few scenes where there might have been an opportunity for one. In particular during the milkshake scene when he admits to saving her tapes. But they actually don't talk about trust in that scene. They talk about having hard conversations. They talk about moving forward instead of looking backwards. But they don't talk about trust. My guess is that there might have been content cut for time at some point in this episode, that may have included some grand declaration from Max, but that's really just speculation on my part.
Regardless…Liz's response to Max bringing up the science is to basically accuse him of not trusting her. Which is not what he was saying. He was not questioning her use of the science. He was questioning her trust in Heath through the context of her science. So he elaborates on what he IS saying, and as he does, he's getting more and more worked up...because this does relate directly to his personal fears, and, frankly, his buried trauma that he's never properly addressed.
"I trust you. Okay? But I don't trust some guy I have barely met with a secret that could endanger me, could endanger my family and break the frickin' Internet if it came out."
Max doesn't know Heath, and he doesn't trust Heath with a secret that could endanger Michael and Isobel. His emotions are escalating, because now he's thinking about the science that scares him in the hands of a guy that all signs points to being potentially untrustworthy, and he's triggered.
BUT he doesn't back up his argument. He doesn't point out the very specific evidence he's identified that Heath is probably lying to Liz.
And Liz is inherently reactive and sometimes overly defensive (see 1x09 list of Liz's flaws). So even though he's focused on Heath, she immediately reacts defensively and takes it as a criticism of HER.
"You think I would let myself be conned?"
"No, I think you came out here looking for a partner, and it could blind you."
*deep breath* and this is where it starts to get personal. And rough. Max isn't entirely wrong here. But he also kind of is. Liz didn't choose Genoryx for partnership. She was looking for resources, freedom to do the science she wanted to do, and to save her father from deportation.
But partnership? Yeah, Liz wanted that. But she wanted that from MAX. She was looking for partnership in life, not in science.
And now that Max has thrown that direct criticism out there, Liz is going to throw a bomb right back at him.
"Just because you sabotaged me when I thought you were mine does not mean that Heath would take the same path."
Ouch. This is the hardest line in this whole scene for me to work with. Because it is combative. And purposefully hurtful.
BUT…she is NOT TALKING ABOUT HER SCIENCE. She has not said a single word about her science in this argument. She moved past that. She had the epiphany that she was wrong and she apologized (3x03). That is in the past for her.
This argument, for Liz, is about betrayal. This is about her believing that they were going to be partners and move their lives forward together (2x12), and right when she believed in that future, Max made another massive decision that directly impacted her life (just like he did in 1x13) instead of working with her to make big decisions together.
"And just because you changed the wallpaper doesn't mean you've mended your blind spots."
I really hate this "change the wallpaper" line. It feels like they're mixing metaphors. Liz called her life a commercial. Max is saying that she's changed her decor. Like...pick one and stick with it.
That aside… I think this barb is about her arrogance. Earlier in the scene, she seemed baffled at the idea that Max believes she could have been conned by Heath, because Liz is used to always being the smartest person in the room. She thought she was smarter than Diego and he figured her out. She believed her lab was secure, but Diego (possibly) got in. Sometimes, like most scientists, Liz is so bogged down in the complicated, brilliant details she’s thinking through, that she misses simple things that contribute to the big picture. And I think that's what Max is getting at here. In her arrogance, she believes that she can control the Heath situation. But she's not acknowledging the human factor here - that Heath is a person who may have his own unspoken ulterior motives driving him. Just like Diego did. She's just not seeing what Max is seeing.
BUT - again I'll say. Max is also not communicating the scope of the evidence he is collecting. They're both wrong here.
"I have learned my lessons, but you... oh, my God, you sound an awful lot like the guy who blew up my lab. So forgive me, but you're making it perfectly clear why I felt like I had to go and change the wallpaper."
This is the only line where Liz even comes close to talking about her science, but again, she's talking about his betrayal. She's talking about him undermining their partnership. She's talking about her need for a change of scenery from HIM.
And that’s when Max blows out the safe and they put the fight on hold to finish their investigation.
But, to sum it up…the fight was all about trust and betrayal. It was necessary for them to work through it, though frankly? I wish they could have finished the discussion. Because instead of them coming to some sort of peace with their trust in each other, the truth came out about Heath, Liz realized that she was wrong, she apologized, and they moved forward together, on mission.
I can’t help pointing out though…after the fight and Liz's epiphany about Heath, Max and Liz spent at least 15 hours in a car together. And I'm sorry, I refuse to believe that they didn't talk about anything important for 15 hours. Fic writers assemble? 😆
Many thanks to @ober-affen-geil for doing a quick review and checking me on opinions vs facts. Very important.
And for my next trick… road trips, life choices, and Robert Frost! Coming soon to a Tumblr near you…
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Text
Allow me to spend the next few minutes rambling about why yall are stupid for hating Ice Juggler Cookie just because they're "rude"
Also since idk Ice Juggler's gender I'll be using they/them pronouns for them.
So the major complaint ive seen people have against Ice Juggler is the fact that they're very passive-aggressive and rude towards people. Not rude as in like Devil Cookie rude but like Karen-level sort of rude
I can understand why, some people just don't like rude cookies, some prefer more mellow cookies like Herb Cookie or depressed cookies like Sea Fairy Cookie
My issue however is that people are unjustifiably hating Ice Juggler for being rude without seeing WHY they are so rude.
And I'm here to insert that knowledge into your skulls with 2 simple bullet points
1. Their job in the circus
Jobs aren't always fun, the very definition of a job isn't to be fun. While people can have fun or are content with their job, some people don't exactly like it for various reasons; Too stressful, bad work enviromemt, low pay, etc.
Some people could argue that working in a circus, specifically as a clown, would be a very fun job. Other's however could argue that its bloody hell. While I can't say this for anyone, I can see why that other side would say that.
Picture yourself as Ice Juggler, you're suppose to go around on stage, rolling a ball around beneath your feet while you juggly at ice cream scoops while people laugh at you. You're struggling to try and keep the ball rolling, keep yourself juggling, and make sure you don't crash into anyone or anything, coupled by having to jump from ball to ball. One slip up, and people will either laugh at you or boo in disappointment, and if you get the latter, your boss won't take kindly to that. But if you get the former, you're probably still gonna be a bit pissed because people are laughing at you getting seriously hurt. I know the intent of clowns are to be comically injured, but Ice Juggler isnt a cartoon, theyre a living breathing cookie who can get hurt. And while it may not be so bad the first time, having it happen to you over and over again could probably chip away at your sanity.
And before you ask "Well, Ice Juggler can just get a different job if they don't like it!" You're still just be assuming shit simply by force glance. The circus could probably give them decent pay and they seem to be capable of doing their job right, so they may WANT to leave their job but they may NEED to keep it, either because Ice Juggling's the only good thing they're good at (duh its in the name) or because theyre need to money.
2. How they're treated at their work place
Even if they do passionately love juggling and rolling on balls, the way their boss, Choco Cup Cookie, treats them is just atrocious
(Credit to Royal Mike on youtube for the screenshots)
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An example being how Choco Cup Cookie tells Ice Juggler Cookie to shut up after judging an audition of someone, later saying "someone might hear you"
Publicity is one thing but the welfare and the freedom of your employee's speech is another, and this is clear evidence that Choco Cup neither cares or is ignorant about how Ice Juggler feels about shit.
Now some people may assume that Ice Juggler is being way too mean about the cookie's audition, but we dont exactly see what the cookie's audition was. It could have been atrocious, it could have been brilliant, we're never told this. We just know that Ice Juggler found it awful and Choco Cup found it "not so bad", which may hint at it actually being as awful as Ice Juggler implies but for now, again, its just speculation.
The point here is that Choco Cup isn't allowing Ice Juggler to voice their opinion/criticism, especially when theyre doing a task THAT GIVES THEM THAT OPTION. The cookie auditioning asked to be judged by Ice Juggler and Choco Cup, and Ice Juggler gave them their judgement, to which Choco Cup tried to shut them up for.
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Aaand to make matters worse, Choco Cup's literally telling Ice Juggler that they're not allowed to express their emotions, which Choco Cup's clearly aware of, since it'll damage the circus' reputation.
Dunno about that but clearly that is a sign of some major fucking mental manipulation.
If you have to say that one's emotions will ruin your company, then honey, your company is already running straight towards hell
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Especially when you have to physically shut them up. (For context for those who weren't around during this event (like me), its Banana Cookie's turn to audition and its implied that Choco Cup covered Ice Juggler's mouth giving the *URMPH*)
And before you assume that Ice Juggler is being a douche solely for being a douche
Bitch
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Literally saying that Banana Cookie's performance wasn't all that bad. Wasn't great, but wasn't horrid either.
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EVEN BANANA HERSELF SEEMS AWARE ABOUT ICE JUGGLER'S CRITICALNESS AND WANTS SOME OF THEIR CRITICISM
AND WHAT DID GUD OLD CHOCO CUP COOKIE DO?
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Put words in their fucking mouth
Am i making my point clear?
Can you see why ice juggler is so pissed? Because their boss is literally prevent them from being anything more than an ICE JUGGLER
Literally go to hell choco cup
Sorry that this one was alot longer than part 1 but i felt like i had to expand a bit more on this cuz theres a lot to unpack here. Theres some more atrocities Choco Cupfuck has done but this is prob enough to show a good reason why Ice Juggler is rude af
Anyway i hope yall like this post and while youre valid for disliking Ice Juggler, i hope you at least understand why they have one of the reasons you potentially dislike them for. Feel free to add your optinions or anything i missed, reblog, whatever
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punmster · 2 years
Text
Show vs Tell
By an amateur who dont know jack shiet
aka a note to me, for me, from me (experiences)
Basically, it's just actions vs adjectives
(But its really just associations)
Details below the line! It's a lot so don't say I didn't warn ya!
What does that mean exactly though? After all, some actions feel like they are "telling" as well (eg. He was chased by the horse--pretty plainly there, right?). I don't blame ya.
What I really mean is to write about the actions (aka effects) that result from the adjectives.
So instead of saying "They were sad", think about what you do *when* you are sad. That could be crying, total silence, shaking, curling up into a ball b/c you just took the SATs and wanna die, etc.
Note that characters may have different responses to emotions, so try to set up the association between the action and adjective first so that later, you can just use the action while implying the emotions/reasons. It adds a little complexity.
Also note that it doesn't just have to be physical actions--it can also be words.
For example, I've written a character to call someone else an 'old man' normally and an 'old geezer' when they are annoyed with them. At first by associating it with irritating scenes, then using it in passing thoughts to imply how they felt about certain things.
Other examples include nicknames (and the trope of finally calling them their actual name in a crisis), accents that come out with intense emotions, in/formal language, stutters (fuckin stutters, man), and even a lack of words can tell something
But wait!
What was that about some actions not feeling like they are quite "showing" earlier?
That's usually because they are in an action sequence, aka they aren't based in a particular adjective/emotion (idk what im talkin bout here)
For instance, the horse example from earlier. There is no emotion in particular associated with a horse chasing a person (though I'd say the primary emotion is fear).
So we have to make some.
Adding more actions will clarify what specific feelings are being portrayed in the scene.
It goes both ways: actions from adjectives (emotions) and adjectives (emotions) from actions
Lemme explain:
Certain actions can be associated with more than one emotion.
For instance, furrowed brows can be both from anger and from deep thought, crying can be from joy or sadness, and sighing can be a result of tiredness or frustration.
If we want to make it a tired sigh, we can have them yawn after, close their eyes, or stretch a bit.
If we want to make it a frustrated sigh, we can add a pinched nose, a glare, or even dialogue saying, "Seriously?"
You can also add implications of emotions to action scenes by putting in the effects of the actions (aka, more action!).
For example, our guy being chased by a horse might be panting (implying he is out of shape or this horse is fast or he is really trying to get away), he might be skipping (implying happiness and playful chasing), and he might be screaming (fear, obviously).
This is why "showing" tends to use up a lot more words. Clarification and context may be needed to properly convey exactly what you have in mind.
In the end, show vs tell is really just about how deep you want to go into how something affects the characters and plot.
After all, a story is literally just a big ole chain of cause and effect. Actions result in more actions, which leads to new emotions, which leads to more actions, etc. etc.
If you feel that there isn't enough immersion in your story, then you need to consider cause and effect. This is seriously one of the things that you should also consider when looking at history (thanks, WHAP).
It adds complexity by showing you know how different factors interact and also helps avoid deus ex machina (aka unexplained, unestablished plot devices to help in a very specific, sudden problem).
With that, let's go into when you should use show or tell (in my experience).
Typically, because showing uses more words, the reader will pay more attention to it. So, use it for plot-relevant or character-development-relevant parts. Like, the BIG stuff.
I don't wanna tell other people what to do (my motto is, no such thing as a bad idea, just a poorly executed one), but imo, adding more detail should be reserved for stuff you want the reader to remember.
This applies to several things
1. Plot devices - Minor ones can be sprinkled in (should be brought up at least twice to be remembered) but some need more in depth explanation or cannot be brought up so often.
This is when you can "show" and add in responses to the device, like a thought a character has about it, or surround it with "showing" to make it memorable for later
2. Closing and Opening arcs/Character/relationship development - I am extremely guilty of this one. I wrote a 7 chapter arc with a major conflict bewteen characters and literally just wrote "She apologized and everything was okay" at the end (alright maybe not literally, but pretty dang close). I feared the wrath of my readers so I added more action and dialogue to really try to sell it that she was sorry lolol (like bowing, breaking into tears, stuttering, etc.)
This is my major gripe w/ some of the "this thing reveals your emotions/desire" devices.
Eg. Amortentia in Harry Potter and this spell in an obscure manga I read today (receptionist in a magic world) that is only breachable by a trusted person
(Listen, if you're gonna try to sell it to me that they trust each other, maybe try and put them in an actual situation where that trust is necessary and not just saying it is there??)
Slight tangent, but that's also the point of mirrored situations--to show a character has grown, show them responding to a similar situation in a different way
3. Pure fuckin drama - 'Nuff said. When you want to show the extent of something's effect on someone, you need to, well, show it.
We use many adjectives in our daily lives that they have become associated with mundanity.
Due to that, authors should be wary of the associations certain words have.
Eg. Tired vs Sleepy vs Exhausted vs Dying to get in bed and crash for 48 hours
Each of these has a different vibe, probably a different context, and most definitely a different impression on the reader
That last one especially makes ya realize that this tiredness is not your typical sleepyhead situation. It adds exaggeration, interest, extremeness, what have you (fuck i should go to sleep soon actually)
Although, probably wouldn't use "lassitudes" to describe a lack of energy here, even if it isn't an adjective--remember folks, while good vocab is nice, not having to find a dictionary while reading is nicer (yeah, bcuz using nice twice is great vocabulary, idiot)
Basically, just ask yourself, do I wanna emphasize this? If the answer is yes, go ahead and show off all your verbs and nouns and whatnot.
Literally, just do it if you feel like it.
Bonus tips:
You probably want to also make sure to know what part of the sentence you are emphasizing
In our horse example, "He was chased by the horse", the fact that this guy in particular is being chased is quite prominent, being at the start of the sentence.
What if we only wanna emphasize the fact he is being, y'know, chased by a fuckin horse?
There are actually several ways we can do this.
1. Remove the guy entirely/place the part about being chased and the horse front and center
Eg. The sounds of hooves hitting the ground approached [him].
We once again take something that is associated with what we want to emphasize and replace the boring bits.
In this case, we use hooves instead of horse, and approached instead of chased (still implying that they are getting close, but not exactly that they are after him)
Ie. Make things vague as fuck, then add more to clarify (can also create suspense and shiz by drawing things out)
2. Let's do the reverse and un-lengthen it next!
How about the horse attacks the guy with a metal bat?
"The horse's bat hit the man's head"
We wanna focus on the hitting part, so let's find words associated/describing a result of a man's skull getting cracked open by a horse.
An onomatopoeia! (which happened to be my password to a math game as a kid...)
CLANG! THUD! BANG!
Ooh la la! Action! Quick! No time to react! What just happened? IDEK! Theres a fuckin horse with a metal bat, bro!
Onomatopoeias are really good at breaking sentence flow and causing the sense of suddenness that the characters are experiencing in the readers!
Pretty limited usage though...mostly just loud, dramatic action scenes, but those are the ones that need em the most
3. Mix up your punctuation!
Punctuation is not just to make your writing readable! Trust me, I use, like, fifty em dashes per chapter and twenty parantheses and it makes things super unreadable
You can use them to add in thoughts/clauses in between, implying cause and effect/adding complexity
Eg. He hated doing laundry--it reminded him of his actually hygienic ex--so he didn't do it. (ew, gross man)
Eg. He was being chased by--out of all things--a horse.
Eg. We need something to unite us: a horse!
(Vs. "The horse united us" > more emphasis on "horse" bcuz it is separated and at the end)
Eg. He ran, ran, and ran; he needed to get away from that horse.
Eg. The horse loved using its metal bat--wacking people was always a great stress reliever.
Eg. He screamed. The horse had reached him.
I think a part of the problem w/ show vs tell is all that "because" shiet (which includes using so, since, therefore, thus, hence, due to, etc.)
Just putting one action after the other implies some connectivity, like with the last two examples.
Punctuation like an em dash and a semicolon also explicitly means there is a connection
Also, using "was" and "been/being" can be a problem (which many other more knowledgeable advice givers will tell you), mostly because the focus is supposed to be on what is doing the being to the thieng (sorry...) like in the example earlier w/ the hooves.
The person (pronoun) is the object being affected, but it is implied they are if we are in their pov
(As another note, use showing w/ characters you don't know the pov of--you can show that what the MC thinks they are feeling, like, in their explicit dialogue/thoughts, is different from what the reader inteprets through the other character's actions
Example:
MC: She is mad at me!
Her: furrowed brows, glaring, but also restlessness, pacing, cold sweat that shows worry)
Anyways, again, exceptions can be made--do whatever the fuck you want (like in the 2nd example here, which uses "was being")
If you wanna emphasize the guy being hit by the horse, go ahead and write some variation of "he was being hit over the head by the horse". It could be really good for all I know. Maybe throw in some stuff about the guy's feelings about it.
Anyways...
Telling is supposed to be giving the reason/claim, showing is giving the evidence to support the claim
That's basically it.
(I say, after having written practically an essay)
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slavicafire · 3 years
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excuse me if this seems vile to you but: sometimes i indulge in "alone spicy time" with myself if you know what i mean. after i finish i feel light and relieved obviously. but then im overcome by terrible guilt. i dont exactly know where it stems from but it's getting on my nerves. do you think it can be from the religious/christian influences in my upbringing or? anyway, have a pleasant warm and sunny day!
oh nothing vile about that -- maybe the choice of the euphemism is a bit on the cheesy side, but other than that you really have no reason to worry. it's a very good and productive question, too, and one I like discussing in my general crusade (pardon me) against shame as we know it.
because it is annoying, isn't it?
the feelings you experience are a mix of various different things in varying proportions; those proportions are very personal but the ingredients are actually pretty universal. you're not alone in how you feel, it's not anything abnormal, and it won't always be like this either. everything around us is always at least a bit confusing and weird. being a human is always at least a bit confusing and weird.
religious influences are of course one of the most easily identifiable reasons here: whether by affecting you directly or by affecting the general culture around you and through that, indirectly, affecting you. you didn't have to be raised christian to be surrounded (and judged by) christian values, and to have these values sneak underneath your skin and bother you for no reason at all. and especially shame -- a very powerful and horrible tool, and thus one most often used just next to fear and greed.
the other reasons can be tied to your own perceptions and worries, and the fact that they're usually doubled and worsened by things that affect you emotionally and physically -- and sexual release is always a bit of an emotional and physical roller-coaster, whether we are aware of it or not. it's an important deal for the body and brain, even if it might not seem so, and after the tension is gone both the body and the brain go into a bit of a "uh-oh, alright." it can have a wholly positive impact, yes, but more often than not it can be a bit confusing. this means that among this confusion, feelings of shame or guilt brew even more easily, whether we internalised some religious shame or one from being shamed for exploring our bodies as children. or you know, our general tendency to punish ourselves for things that feel good. good sex or masturbation, good food, good lazy day of doing nothing at all. as I've said, it's weird being a human.
you might also rethink the context: perhaps the moment you choose to do it is actually the moment you're sad or stressed or worried, and once the tension itself isn't there, all those bad feelings come flooding in while you still feel rather vulnerable? perhaps you need to be sneaky due to family or roommates or you have to hurry because the mundane tasks of everyday life await, and once the tension is gone you feel kind of awkward about the whole thing? perhaps, too, the fantasies that you go for (or the porn, or anything else) are actually something that adds to how bad you feel?
it can be a plethora of things and it's good to examine those -- but at the end of the day, don't overthink it either.
because you have no reason to feel guilty. that shame and guilt is useless and will go away once you start consciously laughing in its face every time it dares to arrive. it might be a rather annoying journey -- after all, we don't really want to go on this whole self-evaluation and self-exploration session each time we just want to come. but sometimes it pays off. sometimes you just have to very stubbornly tell yourself: nah, this was good. this felt good. nothing wrong about it.
build a relationship with both your body and your brain through it. recognise why and when you need it and then don't feel bad about doing it. it's both a very mundane need of the body which helps you release tension and relax, and an important experience you can have with yourself that lets you know yourself a bit better.
and it feels good, and it's totally alright. it'll stop being this annoying soon, too.
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low-budget-korra · 3 years
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Lets talk about Korra (again)
i already made this analysis, and it was well received but i dont know, i wanna do it again. Why not right? My english is better now than was when i made that analysis so i think  this one will be better written
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What a way to introduce a protagonist. This line and this scene tell us everything we need to know about Korra at that time and everything she knew about herself.
In book one Korra is a 17′s old teenager who have no idea how the world, how life is outside the training center she grew up in and had been locked up since ever. So she is not only naive but have lack of social skills
Oh, and not everyone who lack’s social skills will act like Zuko and Azula okay? Korra can be confident, expressive and outgoing and still have problems when it comes to social skills.One thing dont exclude the other.
“I’m the Avatar and you gotta deal with it” did you guys notice that only for that line we can see the entire opposite on how she treat her role as avatar in comparisson with Aang? And im not here to judge because is two very different contexts.
As far as we know, Korra grew up without friends or romantic partners. Of course, she had her training partners but i believe that they are just that. 
So her entarely perception of herself was around her duty as Avatar, she didnt have personal life, she barely was Korra...She was The avatar and thats that.
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So she came to Republic City, it was a mess. 
Its funny to see that she have no touch when it comes to simply talk to people, i guess when you grew up away from society, this happens. And yes, she is cocky and had to learn that people arent there to somewhat please her, and she learned that quicky. 
Thats why the Pro Bending was important for her character, not only for training but also as means of socilization.
Now lets talk about the villains: Amon and Tarrlok
The two of them represents two differents threats to Korra. Amon represents a threat to her duty as Avatar while Tarrlok represents a threat to Korra as a person.
In episode 4 we have what i still thinks is the darker episode from TLOK. In this episode Amon ambushes Korra in the final moments... Even knowing that they did their best to make Amon’s power and control be non-sexualized as possible still...He have her down on her knews, totally helpless and he even invades Korra’s personal space by touching in her face forcing her to look at him. He didn't have to sexually touch her to violate her.
And right after, the fear in Tenzin voice when asking what happened after seeing her laying in the ground like that, and how Korra is sobing in his arms teeling him how powerless and helpless she felt. I mean...Oh, and she keeps terryfied by him until he takes her bending.
Tarrlok in the  other hand doesnt do much different from his brother and started to harass Korra because he cant take ‘no’ as a answer when Korra didnt wanted to join his task force.
Whats interesting is that if it wasnt for Tarrlok harassement and maniputation, Korra wouldnt have joined his task force and wouldnt have confronted Amon and wouldn't have gone through that terrible encounter.
The thing is that Korra is caught right in the middle of a politcal power dispute over the city, something that she for sure wasnt prepare for it. And both Amon and Tarrlok woud hurt or kill her without think twice about it if that means gain  power. And that was exacly what happened
Tarrlok tried to manipulate her and keep her on leash where he could, and when his tatics didnt worked anymore he alreay had a plan B. Yes that whole metal box in that cabin in the middle of nowhere was made especifically for her and maybe Tenzin if he also get in his way.
In the end Korra lost the physical battle against both but won the ethical battle also against both. She was the responsable for expose both of them as corrupted and hypocrites. But at what price? Amon was able to remove the bends of the Avatar. And without them, how could she be the Avatar?
Remember that her entirely conception of herself was built around her duty as Avatar, be the avatar. After all, everything she was, everything she'd trained so hard for, had been destroyed in minutes. Thats why i still strongly believe that she was thinking about killing herself at the end, nobodys goes all sad and crying to in front of a clifft without thinking about jumping from it. 
But she, i think given up the idea and just sit and started to crying when Aang appeared and help her, giving her bendings back in one of the best scenes of the show. So after have everything solve and still managed to get the boy she was in love with, things where great and she “move on”
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In that first half, Korra is unbearable. Everything she learned in Book 1 how to be more mature, less spoiled and all, was thrown in the trash and she was the same "child" of the book one only worse.
Until I stopped and realized that I was also unbearable and childish like this when I had my bad phases of anxiety and depression, as defense mechanism and keep people away. Returning to Korra, and if this way of acting of her was nothing more than this defense mechanism?
Because guess what, i dont think she “move on” from all that happened in Book One that fast, and for add more drama she discovered that was her father idea of keeping her locked up training in that training center we saw in book one and not traveling like avatars before her. No wonder she felt betrayed. And for adding even more drama, people still keep treating her like child, so she was despered for some validation. Something that she found in her uncles arms but she was betrayed by him after.
In the end, Korra again goes through a traumatic experience when she has her connection with past lives destroyed. We see how it affected her when she apologizes to Tenzin, through tears. And Tenzin, as the excellent master he is, tries to motivate her to face Vaatu again (now merged with Unalaq, her uncle) and again she saves the day even after go throught a traumatic event
In the final moments, we see the innocent decision to reconnect the world of spirits and the world of men. And we also see Korra and Mako permanently end their turbulent relationship.
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Book 3 begins in a more mature, we see all the characters being presented in a more mature way and it seems that Korra now has overcome everything that has passed. We have the relationship between Korra and Asami deepening as well
In Book 3, called "Change" we have a great sacrifice from Korra. Her life goes down a notch when she decides to save the new airbenders from Zaheer and the Red Lotus, the only villain until now that really threat her life since their sole goal was to kill the avatar.
Korra won again but this time victory costed way too much. Yes she save the day again but now she was  physically and psychologically defeated. It was too much, she broke.
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Book 4 begins and we only saw Korra in the final minutes and she is unrecognizable. We see that, once proud and courageous avatar, in someone depressed and cowerd. We never have saw Korra like that, even when she was afraid of Amon she wasnt like that.
Korra is afraid of being the Avatar again and her fight against PTSD is still one of the most sensitive, responsable and honest representation of Mentall Issues that i saw, and it was before this subject gain more space on media. It was before people started to give attention to this
I also think that she was having flashs from her other fights and not only the one against Zaheer.
Another thing I think is worth mention is that Korra took 3 years to feel safer and re-embrace her duties as Avatar. It was not 3 weeks or 3 months, it was 3 years. And anyone who suffers from some mental illness knows very well the stigma that is, the fight that is, because everyone wants you to be well faster as possible  when the truth is that many times you spend years fighting against this.  And this is a pressure that falls on you.Imagine, seeing all your friends moving forward while you continue "stock in the same place"?
Only after Korra confronts Zaheer, I think that was a way to show her coping with the trauma, she improves to the point of returning to be the great Avatar we know. I personally still struggles with this scene because put the victim in front of her agressor may not be the best idea but i understand that she needed to see that he was just a man and not the invencible monster her mind was telling her
One of the lines that stuck with me the most was in the TLOK version of the ember island players, the one that made a recap of the show before the finale. When Korra said “I was so naive” just before we watch her narration of her journey, we can feel pain, sadness and strenght. Janet was amazing in the way the delivered this line.
And this fucking quote i saw here on tumblr still is the goat: “The Last Airbender is a story of a boy who becomes a god. The Legend of Korra is the story of a goddess who becomes a girl "
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And I still get really pissed when someone comes to talk shit about  Korra because she is such an incredible heroine and her journey is also so incredible.
The story of how life can be hard and unfair, how it can hurt and paralyze, but there is always a reason to move on. We should always move on.
Korra is definitely not weak, quite the opposite, she is one of the if not the strongest heroine I have ever seen. Korra inspires overcoming 
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papers4me · 3 years
Text
Fruits Basket Manga Review ch (90)- First pages ONLY.
I skimmed thro ch-89 to know the context of ch-90. it was Cinderella’s play. In this chapter, Kyo says early on, that time has passed since the play & that they are NOW starting their third year in high school. cool.
This part will ONLY focus on the 1st few pages of ch 90 abt (kyo & tohru) & stop before kyo’s memories starts, because the early pages contain:
Tons of new unexplored analysis of (kyo & tohru) characters that unfortunately was intentionally cut & worse! “changed” in the anime.
No space to add kyoko’s story in this post.
Kyoko’s story is full psychologically & socially.. I need to take a deeeeeeep breath before I unpack it. very deeeeep breath!
-Glimpses of Tohru (the silent grieving girl) Subtle Writing of Grief:
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Right from the beginning, I hate how much insight into tohru’s grief & weakness as a human being is already there in the first few pages of ch-90 than the entire 3 seasons of the anime! From few pages we have:
Tohru’s seemingly delighted watching a video. Subtly, showcasing tohru’s grieve & paving the path for tohru’s trauma exploration later in the story. Grief is not sth you quickly past, that’s the most tragic misunderstanding of grief. Time will pass, so, you’ll be better & healthier. Really?!. Tohru’s inner desire to see her mom alive manifested in her words: “ like a photo comes to life” T_T.
The story/writing/manga is acknowledging tohru’s heartbreaking & NOT cute habit of talking to her mom’s cold dead photo! In the anime, tohru talks to her a lot in se01 & it’s up to you to see as as “ cute” as all the canon characters do or actually feeling it IS wrong. Kyo’s  “ what would she do if there were a video of her mom”! “ drives the point more abt tohru being a sad grieving human~not the “advice-giving, optimistic angel, & rain-stopping sunshine in the anime.
Tohru telling kyo to NOT catch cold connecting it to se01, ep 9 (haru’s ep) when tohru was afraid that yuki might catch cold & kyo noticed that! so now in se03, they’re dropping this plot altogether within the main anime, for what? we dont even know if this part would be included in whatever “ kyoko’s” spinoff content would be. -_-’.
That’s how you write subtle trauma such as (grief) for a main (female) MC. subtlety is the key. Respect the viewers intelligence & do it.
You don’t have to give her the long speeches or the many focused ep that yuki had. he’s the kind who confront himself inwardly constantly.
You don’t have to showcase drama, confrontation & force the emotions out like you did with kyo. he runs from his trauma & punishes himself.
Tohru buries her feelings! she’s different from both kyo & yuki. So, with her subtle & symbolic scenes are enough!!!The viewers will catch it if you show it, but ignoring it, cutting it & hoping the viewers will magically predict what you cut, is weird. But the anime isn’t even into us predicting nor subtly showing her cuz this tohru is NOT the tohru we have in the anime. How?
Simply cuz there is no kyo’s inner thoughts abt small things such as tohru’s photo obsession which subtly shows her grief & trauma. If kyo didn’t monologue abt her, tohru does not exist as she’s meant to be. You loose the subtle insights into tohru if you cut kyo’s inner thoughts. Not everything kyo thinks abt in regards to tohru is romance!!! That’s a very narrow & superficial look into the writing of kyo/’tohru dynamics. Flip the pages, hmm..cut this kyoru scene here & there cuz we dont want the anime to be only their love story.. But the story itself IS NOT only their love story at all. These pages/scenes here are abt tohru as a PERSON. Not tohru the lover...
- Writing Clashes between manga & anime: (Kyo’s Conscious Gradual Psychological Exploration vs Shock Value & Drama)
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In ch 90 i really love all the inner self talking that kyo’s doing. It really explains why he ended up rejecting tohru so strongly. Also, going for a trip into kyo’s mind is hella exciting, new, refreshing & full of analysis-worthy exploration! Kyo’s inner psychological argument with himself is a psychologically-informed presentation of a tried guilty mind:
“ Why can’t I stop thinking of (kyoko’s words) lately? Acknowledging that he IS remembering kyoko & never forgot her. This is also supported in the anime itself. When he apologized to a sleeping tohru in se01, ep14 & se02, ep9 , confronting yuki in the stairs & other instances as well. 
“ It’s like a lid been opened & all the memories came pouring”. Acknowledging that kyo DID open his lid since se02, ep9 byt chose to run & not confront it due to his guilt of ruining tohru’s happiness by confessing his connection to her mom. 
“ pretending I didn’t know, pretending I forgot”. Here is a blatant clash in kyo’s writing (1) between the anime & manga (2) between the anime’s episodes themselves!!. In the manga, again kyo chose to ignore & pretended to forget. Death is NOT sth you forgot. Kyo saw kyoko bleeding & dying.  The anime chose to make him totally forget & it could’ve worked if they didn’t included all the canon moments of him actually remembering & pretending to forget. Is that lazy writing? or was the director for se03 different from se 1 &2 &? chose to NOT watch the two previous seasons? Why would you consciously include a contradicting depiction of your character on screen for thousands of confused viewers? Was the scene of kyo’s shocked gave upon seeing kyoko’s photo that artistically appealing that you forgot everything? I really have NO problem of kyo forgetting kyoko if that was written in the anime since se01, but it wasn't. that's why it sucks. 
“Is this payback? maybe I want to blame ME?” augh! i love this line so much! Directly hinting to the viewers that this is kyo’s one-sided guilt before his story with kyoko even started! subtly paving the path for the reason of his rejection of tohru” I dont want forgiveness. I want to blame ME.
-I don’t mind that the anime left kyo’s thoughts of kyoko until the climax in eo8, cuz ep 8 was SO well-done! Se03, ep 8 pacing was very suitable to (1) uncovering dark secrets & death, trauma, & guilt. (2)  for exploring the effects such secrets on kyo’s character, decisions, mentality. Also, the animation of kyo’s face all ep 8 was one of the most expressive facial expressions the anime has ever delivered! The eyebrows, eyes, mouth, tears, body languages, heartache was all 100% perfect. The fact that the following eps didnt have much time to express everything & chapters were cramped is not ep 8′s fault but the decision to have 13 eps. Kyo’s delayed trauma deserved to have its own ep.
-What I DO mind is the added scene of ep 6 where he freaked out upon seeing kyoko’s picture, the concept of shock is perfect & so suitable for an anime but was NEVER properly written into the anime itself from the beginning. On the contrary, the anime itself contradict such usage of such value. Good job ruining an otherwise perfect-depiction of two traumatized characters (kyo & tohru) with ONE scene.. -_-
Side Notes:
I thought tohru is narrating the 1st page in ch-90, turned it out it is kyo!!!! Kyo narrates sth? Kyo monologues? kyo has a POV? Just the setting of kyo doing that feels different! I duno if it cuz when that happens in the anime it’s always clash & drama! lol, or cuz it’s sth original!
Shigure’s “ it’s broadcasted all over the nation” is epic! XD! you know poor stupid kyo would fall for that! XD. kyo, you really are an idiot! XD... man this scene would’ve been epic comedy~ lol.
Tohru not knowing what a “dvd” is is outdated for the anime, but to still keep the sentiment of “her wishing she’d have a video footage of her mom”, they could’ve replaced her words with “ It’d be fun watching this play years from now & remembering all the details”. I know that to some, it feels weird that tohru doesn't have video footage of her mom in this era. but trust me, this is more common than you might think. My late brother, who’s way younger than me, doesn't have much video footage, he always felt awkward & preferred not to be filmed. We got photos for him tho~
Even if you want kyo’s knowledge of kyoko to be in the climax only. You can always include this scene of tohru & kyo in the first pages in the anime somehow. It doesn't even need to be abt the dvd even tho that’s manageable. Cutting this short scene of them talking abt videos, & catching cold is cutting tohru’s trauma from its core. Then, the old grandpa’s narration from se03, ep6 would at least have some backup in the anime’s canon.
Momiji & shigure are perfect as a comedic duo!
I can’t get over tohru’s art~ <3
Pinning kyo at the beginning is epic~ kyo always gets the BEST romantic lines when he talks to himself. “ burning (tohru’s ) memories into my head or forgetting everything”. The torturing fire inside him is only distinguished by loving her but is also ignited by loving her~ what’s the solution~
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thetiredstuff · 3 years
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oh same here, I've blocked dozens and dozens of destiel blogs over the last few days. basically anyone wishing death or other horrible things on jensen (and jarpad, I mean, I dont like the guy either, but that is going way too far), anyone fantasizing about and plotting ways to make jensen suffer, anyone claiming he is a rabid homophobe, anyone hoping to destroy his career... and all the people gleefully celebrating that "everyone" has turned on jensen now because they've always hated jensen and always knew he was a horrible person etc.
I absolutely cannot stand that kind of gross mob mentality and I find it hilarious that they all think they're the most woke and progressive people in this fandom, when they don't have a shred of kindness and consideration between them. they're the ones who would have called for people to be burned at the sake in the middle ages (and I've literally seen them wish for exactly that for jensen and jared) and they don't even realize it.
Yeah exactly this! I also agree about the wishing (severe) bodily harm. My stance on my presence online is: would I say it to their face? And I would absolutely say all of what I've said to jp's face. But I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I wished bodily harm on someone. I'd rather they see some consequences for their actions.
Although, I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't disclose that I definitely sometimes wish for people to step on Lego or maybe fall down some stairs. Not badly but ya know. But that's the bad person in me.
But yes people have definitely gone off the rails with what happened this past weekend.
And I am sick of people coming for Jensen every chance they get. The loved calling him "fruity", which already irked me to death because that is an insult that is still not been reclaimed by the queer men it's been used against and almost all of the peopel using that insult as a "joke" had no business using it in the first place.
And then when he doesn't dance exactly like they want him to, they turn on him in an instant. Literally everyone says stuff they are not supposed to say, or puts their foot in their mouth, or encounters situations where they should have said something but didn't. Because we aren't perfect. Humans are not perfect.
But seeing how humans react to missing the mark, to putting their foot in their mouth, to not standing up when needed, to saying something they shouldn't have, that is incredibly important. And the context.
People keep coming for Jensen over his "open for interpretation" but guess what? He literally cannot confirm nor deny how Dean feels about Cas. Why? Because we never saw in the show how Dean felt.
The contracts that they signed basically boil down to: the show has ended so you cannot add to the existing material. You cannot add something of dialogue, or feelings, or stories about your character. You cannot speak in the name of your character. Which is why Misha had to stipulate during his panel "THAT THIS IS NOT CANON" He yelled it very loudly before answering about Cas in Heaven.
So technically, yes, Jensen can answer the question if he stipulates that what he is about to say is not canon. But it could jeopardize any projects with WB or in the SPN universe down the line. And it could jeopardize his potential career if he doesn't take contracts seriously.
What counts to me is that over the years, there have been so many queer fans who shared their interactions with Jensen and all of them have been positive. Haven't seen a negative one yet. Besides that, we've heard about his commitment to LGBTQ+ organizations. He doesn't do it for PR because the only reason we know about it is because those organizations or those in attendance reveal it later on.
And now he's started up a company with someone who is making waves for LGBTQ+ talent in Hollywood. Moreover, in every article mentioning Chaos Machine, it mentions the LGBTQ+ efforts of this person. A press release only ever reveals the most important information. The fact that her LGBTQ+ efforts have been mentioned in every single article means that this was not only in the press release but was high up in it as well because the information higher up in a press release is the most important one.
And about progressiveness: you cannot progress if you are not given the chances and space to do so. Being progressive is learning and unlearning. It is messing up constantly and trying to do better and educating yourself.
From the tidbits we've heard of Jensen, he genuinely seems like a nice guy. A little too nice towards jp if you ask me because he should have been facing consequences a long time ago but it is what it is because Jensen isn't the only one who is around jp's orbits so that responsibility shouldn't be solely placed on him (especially not since it seems like he no longer considers jp a friend)
Jensen has shown his willingness of learning and has altered his answers before after learning new information. People also seem to forget that he is shy. Like he might sing on stage and be an actor but he is a shy dude. He doesn't like solo panels, although he has clearly gotten a lot better at, but if you don't like solo panels, you also don't like due panels because the problem isn't being alone on stage, it's that he is shy and seems to get anxious.
Having to be perfect while being shy or anxious is literally an impossible situation. And I'm really fucking sick at all the Jensen-is-a-homophobe stuff.
When I got into this fandom, the Jensen-is-a-homophobe-stuff was so omnipresent, I genuinely thought for a second he was and it gave me just a ton of sadness. Not because I parasocialized with him but because I loved the show and I don't want homophobic actors play my favorite characters.
Jensen just can never catch a break. People are just lying in wait until he puts a toe out of the perfect mold and then the minefield they've layed around him explodes with the most vile stuff you can imagine. I'm sick of it. Also hilariously hypocritical how so many people are saying the most vile stuff about Ackles when a ton of them keep on following someone who is phobic against at least two queer identities within the LGBTQ+ community.
sorry this is so long, i kinda pop off when it comes to this subject lol.
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zaptap · 3 years
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ive made a few of these bingo sheets and theyre fun so i decided to make one not just for e3 but also JUST for splatoon 3 (not just for e3 but for like the whole lifetime of the game). also heres my updated list of characters id like to see in smash, ordered generally by which id like more and/or think are the most realistic
since min min got in i took out helix, and since i couldnt decide whether to add in waluigi or madeline i added another row (realistically i dont think any indies are getting in but i threw some in anyway). also i was like “oh yeah maybe theyd put in a gen viii pokemon” so i threw in hatterene since thats one of my favorites.
also as for waluigi (and shovel knight for that matter) i think it would be nice to see an assist trophy get in just to break that rule. also i remember being super surprised he wasnt in brawl (back then i thought he and wario were equally important) and even though that was based on a wrong impression ive still felt like he should be in there ever since
notes about the bingos under the cut
really is about time for those n64 games, especially now that mario is dead so theyre free to release sm64 on it. game boy games would be nice sometime too
would also make sense to include banjo-kazooie in that, nintendos had a good relationship with microsoft lately and the total absence of anything banjo-kazooie on the switch is odd since it’s a dlc character (every other one has a game on switch they can use for cross-marketing, even if joker’s took a while) and i think the best explanation for that would be that theyre holding off for the nso n64 app (this is easiest from a technical standpoint because all they have to do is make a deal to use the roms)
when are they putting octolings in mk8d
xenoblade chronicles x is one of the only wii u games left that they could port (aside from ones that wouldnt make much sense like splatoon and ssb4) so i guess that might as well happen sometime. also monolith soft might be doing something else besides helping with splatoon 3
im not ready for metroid prime 4 (im over halfway through mp2 and therefore the trilogy as a whole) but it’s been a while, they might show it and it could even come out this year
hal apparently recently hinted at a new kirby game or something
the upgraded switch is obviously going to be called the Nintendo Switch ͥ  since they already did the ds lite so theyre clearly naming everything in the family after the ds family, theres absolutely no flaw in this logic. idk if theyre showing it, but unlike 2019 they didnt say they werent showing new hardware (just that they were showing software, which could be taken as denying rumors, but they sometimes specify when certain things arent being shown)
metroid prime trilogy also might come this year. would make sense to release it before mp4 since not everyone is going to buy a wii u to get it (and at this point that doesnt get nintendo any money since they stopped making them)
where is detective pikachu 2. i hope it has the blue pikachu from that first tease they gave us in like 2014 (2013? that was a loooong time ago idk)
they said this was MOSTLY 2021 so i am absolutely getting my hopes up for splatoon 2
the two sinnoh games could likely be there
would be super cool if oddity came to switch. and almost as ironic as megalovania getting into smash
we havent seen the botw sequel for a couple years so we’re kind of due for an update on that
it’s ace attorney’s 20th anniversary this year so maybe theyre doing something. theyre already porting those games though so idk. maybe he’s getting in smash
whats with that watermelon mario render
i held off on watching a playthrough for ndrv3 on the off chance it came to switch and i could play a dangan ronpa game for real for once but it’s now been 4 years and we just passed the 10th anniversary of the series (albeit during a pandemic when i wouldnt expect them to have done anything) so it would be cool to see the series come to switch. i think if it still doesnt after this though i’ll just watch the playthrough, 4 years is long enough. amazed ive avoided spoilers this long, i still know next to nothing about the game
im about done with acnh but im still waiting on those splatoon items. and i ran out of storage in february so i need more of that too
nintendo did stuff for zelda’s 30th anniversary so i doubt theyre forgetting the 35th. maybe wwhd/tphd ports, idk
been a couple years since fire emblem, intelligent systems is probably up to something besides planning yet another paper mario spinoff
miyamoto forgot pikmin 4 in the oven 6 years ago and it got burnt to a crisp and thats why it hasnt come out yet because he had to start over
and splatoon
the inklings scared daft punk into quitting so now that theres no competition in the robot musician scene they should have a daft punk style group
i waited and waited and neither of my top two splatoon stages (flounder and d’alfonsino) came back in splatoon 2 so i hope just because splatoon 3 isnt in inkopolis doesnt mean they still wont return
would be sick as hell if there was a real hide and seek mode instead of just sticking to your own rules in private battles. havent played that since 2015 but it was super fun
show us the effects of the chaos world
i wanted mc craig to have a song in octo expansion and they didnt deliver. heres another chance
splatnet 3 baby
cant wait for nogami to do a funny 3 pose
abxy came back for splatoon 2.... am i gonna be that lucky again...?
salmon run doesnt make sense if youre friends with a smallfry but they could either change the story context (you just fight “evil” salmonids?) or replace it with an equally fun co-op mode
amiibo!!! i think i said this before but they should label them by weapons if these cephalopods dont have genders, would make more sense (the gendered ones had different weapons anyway)
returning characters!!!! would like to see everyone have a role of some kind
maybe #GearForAll wasnt successful in getting the emperor/spy/mecha gear, but perhaps theyll at least consider not making that stuff exclusive this time around
squid girl gear should be back. and they should call it a dress instead of a tunic because its a dress. and theres no gender now anyway
as ive said before... TRIPLIES!! you hold one in each hand and another in your mouth. and you can spin around like the tasmanian devil
remove splatfest tee annoyances: you should have a prompt at the end of a splatfest to pay to scrub your tee (to make sure you get the chunks) also it should be on a neutral brand so you dont end up with an overabundance of ink resistance up (or whatever else)
better online and cloud saves would certainly justify having a second splatoon game on the same console, as much as im loving that it exists
hopefully theres a global testfire again
sooner or later the workers will rise up and kill mr grizz
remember in splatoon 1 where if you had squid beatz (via the amiibo) you could “play” it in the lobby and change the music? then you were stuck listening to only bubble bath in splatoon 2? why did they take that option away they should bring it back
looking at those apartment buildings in the trailer i think it would be cool if you had your own room and could decorate it
an octavio redemption arc would be fun to see. in the manga he stole the zapfish because the octarians had an energy crisis, and in the end they worked out a deal to share the electricity
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