If there’s one thing that I feel like if Fate S2 get rid of it will be even better and that’s the time skip they had between S1 and this. There are a lot of details that I couldn’t accept or didn’t impact me as much as I want to due to them just telling instead of showing, in order to be explained about what happened.

Agreed and agreed and agreed.

This is part of an overall issue with season 2 where they: glossed over important characterization and developments that happened in the time skip, ignored what they plainly establish by 2x01 in order to move the plot along, dedicate zero time to their plot points by cramming into their season as many plot twists as they can, possibly and probably in order to not have a "predictable" season.

You can tell that up until 2x04 every single thing that happens on screen had already been theorized. Which is not a bad thing! It was theorized because the groundwork was there! That's the 101 of show don't tell! But then... Well, we can't have a season made up of everything the fans want or thought of, we need to inovate.

So from 2x05 onward, is pretty much a whole new season, Season 2+. And they CRAM in so many so many plot points in order to wrap it up in a somewhat decent manner.

Ideal season 2 explores the time skip, keeps all the plot points of 2x01 up to 2x04 and then instead of showing Andreas' death in the most uninspired manner, we remove the POV hierarchy and allow the camera to know things she doesn't, aka we watch the fight sequence in full, we make that whole garbage with Musa make sense (really, she runs around Andreas? the THREAT?), we have Sky kill Andres on screen taking the time it requires and finally end with Riven carrying Musa.

2x04 should've been 2x08 and the season finale, setting us up for a season 3 where Beatrix doesn't have her powers and is an orphan, Musa doesn't have hers either and we explore her background (really doesn't this woman have parents), Sky is grief stricken, Stella is coming to terms with her sexuality, Bloom and Stella are at odds, Andreas is dead in a much more horrific way if we had explored him bonding with Sky/Bea, Riven is holding Musa's secret, Terra finally realizes she's queer and that she has to deal with her failed friendship with Riven, etc etc.

Those are all things Fate attempts to cover from 2x04 onward, PLUS twenty different plot points.

Fate season 2 is great, except it's less a season, more a bullet points list encompassing two different seasons.

Dork Solomon Agenda

You say sexy shady sorcerer I say nerd and love of my life

Solomon is a sad lonely little man why just wants a genuine connection us that so much to ask???

No but seriously like. It's totally fine if you hc Solomon as this man-turned-lowkey-sex-god with a million succubi and more at his whim whenever he wants and would be a tough one to put the ol' ball and chain on like to each their own for sure! But that's not MY hc

(Thats not to say my hc means he doesn't ever engage in casual sex like that and wanting a genuine long term relationship at some point [or finding out thats what you want when you meet someone] are not mutually exclusive yknow)

So like Solomon isn't the type to be short with you or keep you at an arm's length (i mean...u get what I mean. Once you're close enough and all that jazz) or get annoyed by you wanting to be affectionate?? Hello??

He LOVES the little things you do (some on accident tbh). You feeling affectionate today and give him a kiss or three on his face before you leave to go to your separate classes? Adorable, he's fallen in love again. You do that thing where you like.. forget how to walk straight and just accidentally bump into him? No come back he likes being close to you :( He doesn't SAY these things but there's a light, airy laugh he has that gives him away.

If you're ever facetiming he will say "boo!" when you connect instead of just. Greeting you like a normal person.

His fuckin. His devilgram name is monSOLO. My mans is a star wars fan!!! I dont know any of The Discourse bc I'm not super into star wars myself but he has IN DEPTH opinions about the movies. Seriously rivals Levi in this aspect. Please make time for movie nights where you watch the movies together 🥺 especially if you haven't seen them before he'd love to convert you 🥺

Didn't Solomon also have a thing for TSL??? Or am I just imagining it??

I feel like his ideal date would be exploring something new, whether its this new spooky forest or "hey have we been down this alley before? Let's check it out!" but ideal date number TWO is movie night. Even if it isn't Star Wars. He likes to sit on opposite ends of the couch throwing popcorn into each other's mouths (and big candies like peanut m&ms where you both have almost choked before) and maybe a footsie war if he's feeling real devious. Then at some point you grab a blanket and snuggle up to him and you both fall asleep on the couch

Simeon yells at him when you leave because there's popcorn EVERYWHERE

LOVES when you laugh super loud. Idk man he just thinks its great when you have such unbridled joy and then he laughs too 😊 not as loud though he's more of a quiet chuckle kind of guy (most of the time).

Is friends with Asmo so is extremely great at slumber party gossip. Catch him in his pajamas, cross-legged on the floor while clutching a pillow to his chest and listening intently to you rant about the brothers.

"Come here I have a secret to tell you" (blows air in your ear) "okay okay I'm sorry but come here again" (blows air on your neck) "okay okay last time! I actually have something to tell you. Please? Its important...." (kisses ur cheek) "like u a lil bit xo"

Never the type to send "good morning beautiful" or "good night 💞" texts. Instead he'll send you something at 4 am like "the infinite cosmos will eventually swallow whole all familiarity and life as it is now presently known and despite the adaptations humans or demons or angels could make i will still have to adapt and face the world as an alien in the realm I love so dearly. Funny how the strongest of beings bow to the whim of space and time. But sometimes my eternal journey doesn't seem so daunting when I realize that with my everlasting life will be the memory of you no matter how distant and the survival of the vessel you loved...."

And then at lunch that day when the brothers pull you away he'll send you a picture of the lasagna they're serving with "this kinda looks like you? Don't worry I'd still hit it" and then two minutes later "you not the pasta"

Is the type to think randomly "oh damn I love you so much" but has an impressive filter about it. Or he thinks he does until Luke grumbles "ugh get a room thats the fifth time you've seen that since monday" ok, sometimes he has a good filter about it

He can't help it! Sometimes you just say something really smart (or something SPECTACULARLY dumb) or you do something cute like lean on him or smile a specific way or-

Sir.....you're head over heels sir :/

The type who would go to a playground at night with you and just swing on the swings talking about life

Wants to have a secret handshake with you!!

If you're ever on a road trip with just the two of you, you can get him to join in on the terrible singing but he'll be a lot quieter than you

Also will only join in if he isn't driving. If he is and you aren't talking, he's just humming underneath his breath. Will drum on the steering wheel though

Cooking

(Yes, it gets its own section because MAYBE I'm obsessed with the idea of MC teaching Solomon to cook and the food still turning out terrible but at least it isn't a void when MC is helping)

The type to flick water at you every time he washes his hands. Will chase you down just to do it.

"Hey, tilt your head back and open your mouth MC" (proceeds to dump too big a handful of shredded cheese in your mouth)

100% the type to lean over you just to hinder your cooking abilities. Who cares if the sauce splashes he's tiiiired.... you'd let belphie do it :(

Puts a hand on your lower back when he passes behind you. Hopes you'll lean into it/step back and offer him a kiss 🥺

Believes in always having a proper table setting. Prepare for whatever juice they have (or water) in wine glasses if you're having a nice-er meal

Under the assumption that a spell ruined his sense of taste (and not that he's just bad at cooking) he hates spicy food. He can feel the burn but he gets none of the flavor??? Wack. Don't hurt him like that MC. If you do because its hilarious to watch him try to be cool about it he will pout

Gets cheesy aprons. He just likes them.

Will hit you on the top of your head with a whisk to hear the noise it makes

Will buy every kitchen hack tool there is. A ketchup dispenser that looks like a gun? He's got it. A fish that helps you squeeze out the egg yolks? Yes! A dinosaur soup ladle? You bet! Pizza scissors? A tool that makes hard boiled eggs into cubes? Something that's gotta be like 200 years old and no discernable purpose? Absolutely! He wants a hot dog toaster. Do they even have hot dogs in the devildom?

Will sneak bites just because it bothers you

Overall

Look at him. He hasn't had friends in centuries. He's playful!

Look at his DEVILGRAM NAME

His funky little WAND

This is a man who is a huge nerd, thrives off of cliches and just wants to have a good time. So let him! Its mentally exhausting having those pretenses up all the time.

Frequent, severe headrushes are super weird, bc from the outside it LOOKS super freaky. It's always a fun time (sarcasm) when the uninitiated see a particularly bad one, bc from their perspective it goes like this (steps usually overlap slightly):

1. Me, blinking: "oh, um. Don't freak out"

2. Eyes go unfocused. I stop responding to things said to me

3. I reach for something sturdy, generally miss, then pitch alarmingly to the side as I claw ineffectually at whatever I reached for while falling to the ground

4. On my way down, I begin to shake and twitch uncontrollably

5. I get to the floor, where I sit for a few seconds, still twitching & shaking, then blink a few times. Optional: I begin to gasp for breath.

Which, from the outside, looks fucking insane! Several people have said "you just had a seizure!" (they're not seizures! I'm completely aware the whole time!).

On the inside, it feels like this:

1. Dizziness & tunnel vision. I now have 0-2 seconds to sit down or grab something before I lose the ability to do that in a controlled manner

2. Vision goes. If it's a bad one, hearing is also gone. I can still talk though, so I might say something like "im ok! This is normal! I'll be fine in a minute!" (if it's not REALLY bad, that is)

3. Balance goes. This has a big range of results, ranging from needing to lean against a wall/object/person, to suddenly sitting on the floor, to (my favourite :/) not being fast enough to react before my vision goes and looking like I'm clawing at the object bc I can't see it and I'm no longer 100% sure where it is in relation to my body any more and my fingers are shaking and I can't get a fucking GRIP ON IT. This can also lead to a slow slide to the ground, so like: unfocused eyes, clawing at the wall as I slowly collapse downwards. Best result is getting a firm grip on something then locking my knees and elbows so I don't brain myself during the next step

4. Muscle spasms! Usually happens as I'm falling! My limbs start twitching uncontrollably, which can make my slow, clawing descent look even more alarming! If I'm grabbing something, it also looks alarming!!! If I'm sitting on the floor, is ALSO looks alarming!!!!!

5. Like 5 seconds of waiting for it to pass, shaking uncontrollably, holding onto whatever I can for dear life, unable to see or hear anything, sometimes repeating "I'm OK! Just wait, I'm OK!" if I remember to breathe!

6. (Optional) vision clears and I begin gasping for breath bc sometimes I hold onto whatever I grab so tightly that I forget to breathe! You know when you brace against something and you hold your breath automatically? Yeah, hard to remember to breathe when everything is a spinny, purple-black-green mass of wooOOOAAAAAHHH FUCK

7. Things clear up. I stand up straight and apologize. Someone tells me to drink more water. I laugh awkwardly.

I've hurt myself like 2 times but I've fallen >100 so the track record isn't terrible! It almost always happens within 30s of standing up (although one time it was like 2 minutes later which was inconvenient bc I'd made it to a busy hallway :/), and it's worse if I'm tired, stressed, hungry, or dehydrated, but it also happens when I'm none of those things. It's worse if I've been sitting for a long time, but it can also happen after sitting for 2 minutes.

It's happened a few times when I'm still sitting and I yawn. One time, it happened when I was sitting with someone, and I was like "oh one second", and I folded forward and put my head on my knees to just shake it out, and the person I was with panicked and tried to grab me, and accidentally Kneed Me In The Head! That was a weird time bc like they KNEW I did this all the time so 🤷. School was a good time (sarcasm), bc 5 minutes between classes to get across the building meant I didn't have the luxury of standing up slowly and I fell over like 4 times a day while teachers were like "👀 u ok?"

Sometimes the head rushes are so mild I can mostly ignore them. If I'm walking down an empty hallway and my vision is like "goodbye" but my balance is mostly fine, I'll sometimes just keep walking, maybe list to the side slightly. I prooobably shouldn't do that, but if you're in a busy hallway with a lot of people and you suddenly stop, people will sometimes shove you! Which is annoying! Plus, ive only walked into someone/something while doing this like 3 times in my entire life so again not a terrible track record. It's alwaya fun to walk into someone who came around a corner, blindly grab them bc FUCK, then be like "oh sorry I couldn't see haha".

I've gotten tests done, I've gotten my heart checked, blood drawn, the whole shebang, and apparently I'm fine and just have, like, unusually low blood pressure? Although I haven't actually done that table tilt test, so who knows! It mostly doesn't interfere with my life too much (those 2 injuries happened when I was admittedly way more dehydrated than I should have let myself get), except for Freaking People Out. Honestly people insisting I go to the ER is way more inconvenient than like 90% of the episodes.

I dont really have a reason for posting this, except to maybe ask that people freak out less when it happens? Even if it WAS a seizure, you really should not grab people during an episode, and I've been hurt by people trying to help me more than anything else (those 2 times aren't including other people hurting me while trying help). If we have a close relationship, I might grab onto YOU to hold myself up, and you can definitely hold me back when I do that, but otherwise if I'm falling and shaking, then I can't really control the direction I go in and a SURPRISING number of people end up kneeing me while moving to try to catch me! Also, holding my head directly on a hard, flat surface is WAY more likely to hurt me than letting me hover/ put my own head on my arms so maybe don't force my head down! I don't know why people do that! It hurts!!! If anything, you could put your hand between my head and the hard surface, so I have a soft bumper to hit (tho I almost definitely don't need it tbh), but honestly getting into that position is more likely to smack me in the face so maaaybe just don't.

Oof. You know, I'm always treating this like no big deal, but laid out in a post like this, it DOES seem like a lot? Maybe once the pandemic calms down here I should go get another opinion 🤔

Jumping into a game of "its the — for me" after being insulted

Bakugo x reader

TW: Swearing, lots of disrespect (to Uraraka at least)

Note: I'm HIGHLY aware Uraraka isn't actually like this, so don't get mad. It's just for the fic

And this is short just bc i was bored and this was just for fun

Currently, Mina, Uraraka, Bakugo, and Todoroki were doing the "Its the — for me challenge" for Minas tiktok

And it was going well, and was mostly a friendly match, but you could tell Bakugo was getting fed up with having to play

He got coaxed into it by Mina the same way he usually gets himself into things

"Why not? Scared you'll get your feelings hurt?"

You could honestly tell he was about to snap and say something out of line, which he wouldve already done if Mina hadn't told him to keep it friendly

"Its the pomeranian hair for me."

"Its the way dumbass Deku doesn't even acknowledge your feelings for him and you still like him for me."

Kaminari was on the couch next to you observing, and almost spit out his water right onto everyone

None of you expected Uraraka to snap back, but apparently bakugo hit a nerve

"Its the way you're probably too embarrassed of your girlfriend to say who she is for me."

You and Bakugo had been dating for a few months

And everyone knew because Kaminari came into class talking about how Bakugo finally got a girlfriend (bakugo went to ask Kaminari for help on asking you out)

But no one knew it was you because Bakugo shut him up immediately, and you asked to keep it private

Bakugo was about to retaliate before you decided to be petty

You sat right on his lap and started firing off

"Its the way youre mad that he's right for me."

Mina is over here quietly sipping her soda, because she already knew

Everyone else is just like 👁👄👁

"Its the way you get jealous of other girls that go around Deku but you still aint cuffed for me."

"Its the way you talkin shit but your rent is past due for me."

Everyone is lowkey trying not to laugh (especially Todoroki dont tell me he doesn't talk shit about everybody in that damn class)

"Its the way youre dating a dude with severe anger issues for me."

"Its the way you cant even bag the dude you're after like I did for me."

Uraraka is highkey tearing up but tries to keep going only to start crying

Mina grabs her phone and stops recording

"Alright, thats enough."

Mina helped Uraraka up, and she ran to her dorm

After hearing the elevator chime, and close,

You all bursted into laughter

"Damn Y/n I didn't think you'd go in like that."

"Forget me, can we acknowledge the way Todoroki is laughing at her too??"

"Not much of a surprise, Denki tells me about how he catches him talking shit about everyone under his breath all the time."

For the rest of the night, you all sit around and talk shit about everyone in class

BONUS

You wake up to a heavy knock on your door

You open it just to see Aizawa standing in front of you

"Y/n, Uraraka told me about last night. You're suspended for the next 2 days."

As soon as he left, you went to text the group you, Mina, Denki, Bakugo, and Shoto made last night

'Just got suspended. Its the snitching for me😒'

Intrusion

– 5 : bach & vitamins (wc: 2k)

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a/n: there’s a scene of card playing so if you dont like anything to do with playing cards,,, its by the end. It’s bluff & i didn’t explain it in the fic bc its rlly simple but i’ll insert the mini note to explain a specific thing i wrote in the fic by the end as a bonus note! + def not my best playing but yea, bach prelude no.1 is played in the fic so..

It’s like any other school day coming to an end. The teacher’s voice getting lost in the sea of students’, as they discuss loudly what to do and where to go, ‘Oh and did you see that?’s here and ‘Have you heard this?’s there, hands and words scattered around as the notebooks and pens are tidied up, put away inside the bags until not a single sign of life is left in the classroom.

It’s almost like any other day, with everyone doing the mundane actions they do each day. And just like any day, you pack up on a whim, place each item in your bag carefully, never interrupting the order of your bag but unlike any other day you walk away from the door and stand over the brunette you’ve come to know more.

It doesn’t take a fake throat clearing on your side, for he notices your presence fast. Getting up and holding his bag on one arm, he gives a curious look your way. If you’ve taken the time to approach him out of nowhere, you must have something to say.

You blink a few times as you look at him. “I was wondering if you start practice right after school or if at least half an hour later.” Words don’t come out in a struggle unlike your expectations.

“Half an hour later. Why?”

“Just- Follow me.”

And so the two of you end up where you first met, properly. This time you’re aware of his presence and he is of yours. This time, it is all planned, not a ‘caught-up-in-the-moment thing. And this time, it’s shaky hands instead of cold, leaving bruises in the papers you’re holding, so you place them on the piano’s open lid quickly.

He sits down with you, to your right, much closer than before. If you make an effort to see him sideways, you can, so you try to brush off the idea itself. You have enough distractions at hand.

Keeping a rhythm with your right foot and tapping it eight times, you take one last deep breath and start hitting the keys. Eyes glued on the papers before you, your left hand starts and joins right after. The first hits are too quiet to your liking and a little out of sync, you hope it’s not noticeable. Eyes going back and forth, you take little moments to watch your hands once in a while, when you’re ahead of the notes, already knowing your next moves.

As your first favorite goes and the first volta is repeated, the tone starts going down, much deeper this time but as lively as the previous ones. You start hitting the keys with more force, trying to achieve the echoing sound you can do once in a while, only when luck is on your side.

Bemols start entering the scene and you start getting quiet at the beginning of each volta. As the melody rises again, so do you. Back straightening without noticing.

Similar repeats of different tones, same pattern made with new sounds, almost flooding around you, almost surrounding you. So close, too close yet never carrying the same satisfying taste.

Quiet once, an echo full of force afterwards, back and forth, the same playing routine.

Your hands keeping going down, to your left. As you go down and down, the melody never falters. Getting to A again and moving your right hand in small scales, you go up again. Up, up and alive, full of life.

This rise is flawed, it doesn’t come as smoothly, much to your dismay. Trying to brush off the pressure of failure, you keep playing. The familiar Cs and Es come once again and playing the same exact notes you did at the beginning, you do the nursery rhyme of an ending. Finishing off with an anxiety arpeggiated chord, more like another failed attempted of it and you pull your hands to your sides, head turned to Iwaizumi a bit too quickly.

He doesn’t seem impressed. He seems far from that actually, almost annoyed. Your frown matches his. You are 100% sure you’ll blame whatever conversation to happen between the two of you on Bach later today.

Tapping your foot again, much quicker and impatient this time, you admit defeat, head dropping back once with a sigh, you face him, again. “So?..”

“So what?” Fine, if you want it be that way.

“So, what do you think?”

“It was alright.”

“That’s it? ‘Alright’?” Irritation clear in your voice, it bothers even your ears. He seems either oblivious or unaffected by it.

“Unless the last time was a fluke, I think you could do better than this.” Your eyelids drop, brows furrowed. Why did you agree to do that again? What came over you to do this again?

Ignoring the look you give his way, Iwaizumi keeps speaking. “If you’ve trusted me enough to bring me here and listen, it couldn’t have been for some inconsiderate pampering. If it was honest opinion you were looking for, here it is. If it was just hitting the keys on correct timing, you got that covered, that’s for sure. But the way you played was soulless.”

Hearing your own thoughts come out of a stranger’s lips is never easy. Never pleasant or welcoming either. No matter how close or how far the person is, it always stings. Even when you know he only means well, doesn’t mean to hurt you with criticism. Because he is right, if you wanted to get compliments from someone who won’t even fully listen to your playing, you could’ve gone and called any of your friends. And still, knowing these doesn’t make the comments any warmer or nicer.

“What time is it? I’d hate for you to be late for practice because of me!” Getting up from the bench a bit too fast, ignoring to comment on his previous words, you can see another emotion spread across his features. You just can’t decide if it’s hurt or disappointment. You’d rather not know.

Picking up his bag and offering you yours, he trails after you and parts ways at the school gates.

Not a word is exchanged between the two of you until you say a hushed “Good bye.” accompanied by a wave.

Empty lunch boxes already cast aside, you find yourself focused too much on the cards. As your friends chat between one another, noises making no sense nor reaching your ears, you mindlessly shuffle the deck, the same words from yesterday echoing in your head.

It was alright.

Alright.

Alright.

Not an insult per se yet not what you wanted to hear. Not from a stranger, is he still a stranger? The way he seemed to decode you that well yesterday argues with your statement. You could brush it aside if that was said by someone in-and-out with music, someone who plays or at least studied it. As far as you know Iwaizumi Hajime was neither of those things, he must have figured it out himself, but how? Isn’t it too soon, too quick?

As you recall your tutor’s words again, referring to Bach as ‘vitamins’, you can’t help but smile. You really don’t like Bach.

Clasping your hands together, deck still between them, you raise your head to your friends. “Alright! Who’s ready for another round?” The glint in Matsukawa and Okemia’s eyes tell it all, Etsuko nods once and you start handing the cards, ready for another round.

Losing count on how many rounds, as Okemia pulls another mass-placing-down-cards move of hers, everyone comes to a halt, turning towards the figure coming their way, a little out of breath.

“Mattsun, there you are! The meeting’s about to start, are you coming?”

“Have the trash king and Godzilla arrived?”

“You know him. The ‘v’ of volleyball comes out of someone’s mouth and he’ll transport there.” As a knowing smile is exchanged between the two, you find your friends eyeing one another. So this must be the infamous Hanamaki Takahiro.

With a shrug, Mattsun turns back to you, eyes focused on his hand. “They must have started bickering with one another again, it’s safe to assume that ‘meeting’ is already dead. Three 7s.”

“Probably. Mind if I join you guys?” He sits as he finishes speaking. “Sure.”

“One 7.” You place downyour card and watch for the reactions. Hanamaki seems to realize what’s going on only now. “Are those… playing cards? Aren’t those forbidden at school?”

“Oh no! These? They’re not ours, we just found them in this spot.”

Okemia joins in to back you up. “We’re just making sure none of these cards are damaged or lost so we’re keeping an eye on them until the owner arrives.”

“By playing?” “Yes. Bluff. Wanna join after this round?” He returns your smile. As the round comes to an end, won by Koto this time, you start gathering the cards and the others explain the rules. He’ll probably fall for all the honestmoves the first time.

This round ends shortly, won by you, Hanamaki falling for all your honesty and ignoring your bluffs. Why would anyone think a single card placed down to be a bluff, you have no idea, but as long as people keep falling for it, you’ll keep doing it.

As the game goes on everyone in the circle seems to have won, except for Hanamaki. After a while it becomes apparent the problem lies within him, he is awfully bad at this game. Mattsun does the same tactic Okemia likes to use and each time, Hanamaki calls ‘bluff’, ends up with the cards, all fours, but he can never use them right. At one point you start feeling really bad for the guy and try changing the topic.

“So Mattsun, now that you’ve read that comic as well, what do you think?” “Weren’t we right?” Koto adds.

“Wait, which one? The one you read in between breaks?”

“Yes-“ “What? Were your hands sweaty?! Hanamaki! Were his hands sweaty?”

“Call me Makki, everyone does. And don’t worry, his hands were as clean as baby skin.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?..”

“I think the phrase was ‘as soft as baby skin’. Remember that moisturizer I’ve used recently?”

“Yes Okemia but it makes no sense. That one was really soft though. Mattsun if my comic book smells of teenage boys, sweat and testosterone-“ “Do you think I’d actually do that?”

“Did Pietro Maximoff betray his family before?” He only laughs in response as the conversation divides into several, everyone talking between one another, joining in another conversation. Makki fits in this dynamic so well, not having any trouble adjusting. Maybe the volleyball team is like that too.

When the topic, one of the topics, focuses on desserts and a new place to try, he joins in on the plan as well, picking a day with the lot of you. Gathering your things after that, you start walking back to class. You walk with Mattsun and Makki to get your book first.

“Ah wait! It caught my eye but we were all walking so I didn’t want to be nosy but… What’s the deal with pants?”

“It’s a long story actually.”

“I’m sure I can make time, if you want to tell. So I take it, you guys are the first ones to do the whole breaking-dress-code-partially thing, right?”

“I-“ You rest your head to your head with a groan. “It’s not breaking the dress code if we wear the pants that are a partof the said code. But yes we were the first ones to do it. For comfort and safety reasons, if you really want to know.”

“Got it! There are rumors everywhere and I didn’t want to go snooping around. But I think it’s cool what you’re doing. So you guys really don’t mind if I tag along to this handsome more often at lunch?”

“It’s fine, a friend of Mattsun’s is a friend of ours too. Plus it’s fun to watch you struggle with all these cards.”

“You won’t be saying that next time!” “We will see.”

As your exchange with him comes to an end, the bell rings, as if on cue. Rushing to your class, you wave at Iwaizumi once, the same smile infected by Makki still on your face.

a/n 2 about Bluff:  When you have enough cards in hand (full sets of enough numbers, ie: four 7s, 5s, 8s,9s,Js, Qs etc) the Player starts placing down four at once. The people doubt at first do usually someone calls Bluff, if it isn’t Bluff, next time the player does this almost no one says a thing. These are the actual times the player bluffs, one bluff and one honest move... And before you know it, the player gets rid of their incomplete set of cards and the rest they hold are the sets of four so they finish quickly. I for one don’t like using this because it’s not the safest opinion but if you’ve done that once or twice, you start to get known for this too and this effects future rounds/plays.

careful man’s careless daughter

@philtstone prompted: Anne/Gilbert babysitter au fake dating prompt #5 let’s go laydees “you have the emotional capacity of a brick. that slate I broke over  your head.” (we’re pretending people still use slates now....american schools have no money...its possible ok) 

k so i was trying to figure out how to work in the babysitter + fake dating and ... like a flash the plot to this old telugu/tamil movie i love missamma/missaimaa came to mind -- its not quite the same because they’re two people pretending to be married so that they can make money as school teachers/live in tutors for a wealthy family’s daughter but it works just enough that i decided to roll with it lol. 

this technically isn’t the actual babysitting, nor the fake dating which I actually turned into a fake marriage lol, but i hope u still like it, even though it is all over the place and a general wreck because i wrote it straight through without any editing or thought towards pacing/characterization bc i havent written in forever lol!! im not even sure what the time period setting is lol, and i dont think my translating of the anne events into a semi modern day even works but w/e lol. 

u are the truest of friends, the light of my life, and have certainly heard more than your share of my mental breakdowns both in the last month and the last few years lol. u deserve all the good things, all the good fic, all the time. 

title is a perversion of a tswift lyric because it came up on youtube. if anyone wants to send in prompts from here

---

“You owe him how much?” 

Anne sighs, crossing her legs to hide how uncomfortable she is in this moment -- here she is in the park, fifteen thousand dollars plus interest in medical debt for Marilla’s eye surgery and being hounded by Roy Gardner, ex boyfriend apparently turned loan shark who was on his knees proclaiming both love and loan forgiveness should Anne just accept his proposal. 

Here Gilbert Blythe is, sitting on a park bench after two years without contact, watching the whole thing. 

“Marilla doesn’t have health insurance,” Anne says, eyes on the ground as she uses the toe of her shoe to grind a leaf into the sidewalk cement. “Even when I was teaching, the union plan didn’t let people add parents on as dependents.” She sighs. “With everything happening with the farm, she couldn’t afford to put money towards a plan and so when her eyes got bad....” 

For a moment, there is silence. Anne can almost hear Gilbert’s jaw clench “That’s just wrong.” 

Anne laughs, and because her eyes are averted she doesn’t see Gilbert flinch. “That’s America, Blythe.” 

“Well,” she hears him say, tone just dripping with what Mrs. Rachel would call the Blythe Stubbornness, “It shouldn’t be.” 

She won’t ever admit it, but there’s something Anne has always found deeply compelling about Gilbert when he gets into these moods -- all righteously indignant in a way that Anne feels inside of her own body. Or felt, before Matthew died and left behind debts not even Marilla had known about, and Marilla’s eyes worsened around the the time Anne was let go from her teaching job and even if she had had the job it wouldn’t have mattered, she knows, but still. Beautiful, wonderful, beloved Diana had offered to help, of course she had, but Anne knew that Fred’s business wasn’t yet where it should be and that the parents Barry were still unimpressed with their son in law to be’s financial acumen. So she’d had to go to Roy, who had of course lent his beautiful Anne the money, and of course had arranged for Marilla to be treated at the best hospital in Toronto, of course had set them up in the apartment of a friend of his right in downtown where the rents were a thousand maybe two per month. He’d popped the question for the third time the second Marilla had been released back into Anne’s care. 

Almost as if he can hear her thoughts, Gilbert speaks -- “Gardner shouldn’t be harassing you like this either. Who ever heard of charging interest on a loan to a friend? And what on earth does he think he’s going to take from you if you just don’t pay?” 

Anne burns. This, she hasn’t told Marilla, nor even her darling Diana. For some reason, it seems alright to tell Gilbert. “The farm,” she mumbles.

Gilbert snorts. “I’m sorry, I must have misheard. Are you saying that Roy Gardner, heir to one of the biggest fortunes in Boston and your ex boyfriend, took your home as collateral on a loan for money you needed to pay for your mother’s surgery?” 

Anne says nothing. She still hasn’t looked up at him, hasn’t been able to meet his gaze since she sat down on the bench and told Roy to get up off his knees and wait two months for either his money or her affirmative answer. She blinks, having mercifully forgotten that Gilbert was present for that last bit. She hopes he’s forgotten too. 

“And wait, before he left you said....” No such luck. “Anne!” Anne’s sure her entire head must be flame as she closes her eyes, bringing her knees up on the park bench and burying her face into her own lap. “Anne you said you’d marry him if you couldn’t get the money!” 

“There’s no debt between spouses,” Anne mumbles. “We’d get to keep the farm, and I wouldn’t ever worry about Marilla’s health again.” 

“But you don’t love him!” She doesn’t know if she’s ever heard Gilbert sound so scandalized. 

“I used to!” she tries to retort, but even Anne knows that her voice betrays her when she tries to speak this lie. “I used to think I was,” she amends, “and maybe that’s as close as I’m allowed to get -- he’s rich, handsome, he even loves me! What more could I ask for?” 

“Coercing you into marriage, demanding interest on money that we all know is just pocket change for someone like him...that’s not love,” Gilbert Blythe responds, with all that....that all-knowing Blytheness in his voice that Anne has hated since she was 13 years old and the new kid in a class of people who had always known each other just as easily as they had known themselves. “Love is selfless, Anne, strong and kind. It makes you better for giving away your heart, even if the one you love doesn’t give you theirs in return.” 

Gilbert Blythe, always acting as if he knows something Anne does not. He speaks as if he’s been in love, at some point over the years since he was last in Avonlea and for some reason Anne absolutely burns with that knowledge. Ooh she just hates him, now at 24 just as easily as she had at 13! 

“And what exactly is love worth if it means I just lose the farm trying to pay for Marilla’s surgery, and still have nothing for the next time she’s sick?” Suddenly Anne is on her feet, hands on her hips as she glares at Gilbert looking quite alarmed as he still sits on the bench. The words she has kept locked on the inside, too private to even be written in a diary, come pouring out in one big rush:

“Three of my four parents are already dead, Gilbert Blythe.” Her voice hitches, to her horror, her sudden fury vanishes as she has to blink away the tears she has kept at bay since she and Marilla buried Matthew. Damn Gilbert, for bringing this out of her as well. “I can’t...I couldn’t bear to lose anyone else.” Her lips thin, and with a breath, her voice steadies. “I don’t care what you, or anyone else thinks about my choices if it means that I can take care of Marilla.” 

Gilbert’s eyes have the sheen of his own tears when he stands, his own lips wobbling just slightly. “I...” he swallows. “Of course, Anne.” Something Anne recognizes as self hatred passes briefly over his face, but she doesn’t understand. “I wish I had money like Gardner to give you, I really do.”   

Anne gentles, even if something inside her twists to be the object of the long-old guilt mixed with pity, much less Gilbert Blythe. Since Matthew’s death, every person in Avonlea it seems has sat with Anne and Marilla and offered their deep condolences, their absolute shock at the pair’s financial state of affairs, how much they wish they could help but sadly cannot, what with the way the bank’s collapse has hit their own finances. Only families like the Gardners survive economic crashes with money to burn. 

“I wouldn’t have taken it even if you had,” she offers instead, shrugging casually. 

His eyes flash. “But you took Gardner’s?” 

“I thought he loved me!” Anne closes her eyes, somehow feeling her cheeks flush even deeper. This is why she’s avoided all mention of Gilbert Blythe so strenuously since high school graduation, because more than anyone else he is the one who drags out the words she is always learning to keep inside. Here he is, somehow pulling confessions Anne hadn’t even dreamed of telling Diana, confessions that make her seem small, and stupid, lost in a world so much more complicated and treacherous than she can handle all on her lonesome. 

Well, she thinks, in for a penny -- 

“I thought he loved me,” she says, “and that he had the money to spare. I didn’t realize...” She looks away again, so that she never has to see him react to her folly. 

“Oh Anne,” Gilbert says, for some reason so soft and stricken that Anne’s knees go weak with her sudden desire to fall to the ground and weep. “You deserve so much better.” 

And now she’s angry again. “What would you know about what I deserve?” Anne spits, “you haven’t even been home since you started med school!” Vaguely, Anne thinks that Gilbert hasn’t been home since she and Roy had gotten serious, serious enough for her to bring him to Green Gables and show him the place that had been her very first love. Coincidences can be so strange. 

“It doesn’t matter,” she says, glaring again at the ground. “None of this matters. I’m just going to go home” Anne clenches her jaw, knowing that when she gets back to Green Gables she will go into her room and play every excruciating part of this conversation back in her head, again and again until she throws up or passes out at dawn from sheer exhaustion. Maybe both, if she’s lucky. She leans back slightly and manages to turn around on her heels, a trick Gilbert Blythe had always pulled at school and had had girls thinking he was so cool.

She’s five minutes away from the park bench when suddenly she hears him call out her name. 

“Anne,” he shouts again much closer, bending at his waist to balance his hands at his knees as he pants. “God, it really has been two years since I was on the university football team.” 

Despite the roiling emotions of five minutes ago, Anne’s lips quirk. “I can’t imagine you all practiced very much to end up near the bottom of your league every year.” 

Gilbert’s eyes widen, and for some reason he flushes. Maybe he’s so out of shape that it’s from exertion? “I didn’t realize you kept up with my matches.”  Ah. Anne, it seems, will experience nothing else but one long sustained flush as long as she is in front of Gilbert Blythe. “You know,” she tries to say casually, “you hear things here and there. Diana told me the village gossip.” 

Gilbert opens his mouth, but then suddenly shakes his head, like a dog trying to dislodge water from its fur. “I have...” he frowns. “I have a proposition for you.”  Anne raises what she hopes is an elegant eyebrow. “Oh?” 

He grimaces. “There’s a boarding school, a Catholic one, that’s asking for teachers over the summer for a few of their select students who want to be coached for college admissions. Essays, standardized tests, everything. They’ve got heaps of money, and are willing to pay salaries up front. Plus, they cover all your expenses while you’re there!” 

Anne blinks, feeling the beginnings of hope gather as kindling at the very dredges of her heart. Once, both Anne and Gilbert had competed so well against each other that they had both gotten into Harvard. Then, Matthew had died, and Anne decided she could just as easily get a teaching degree at the state school and stay closer to Marilla too. Gilbert alone had had the distinction of being the first from Avonlea to reach such heights, and had reached even higher when he had been accepted again to Harvard Medical School. 

But at one point, both Anne and Gilbert had taken their SATs. They’d both written their application essays. They’d both gotten in. Anne, even, had been offered a full ride compared to Gilbert’s only partial scholarship, so there could even be an argument that of the two, Anne had been the one on top. 

And if nothing else, Anne is even better at teaching than she was at taking tests. 

“I’ll do it,” she says firmly. “Where and when do I need to report, and how much money are they offering?”  For a second, a bright, dazzling grin paints Gilbert’s face. “Really? Ten--” he coughs, “Twenty thousand.” Anne frowns. 

“Each?” It sounds like a dream come true. Five thousand more than Anne needs, and paid upfront. She could save the farm, and put away five thousand towards the farm’s debts. “That sounds....exorbitant.”  He nods, suddenly more confident. “Yep! Twenty thousand for sure.” He laughs. “I know Gardner was supposed to be slumming it at state school, but you really can’t be surprised at how much money rich people are willing to throw at a problem.” 

“The problem being...their children.”  Gilbert’s grin turns wicked. “The problem being their children’s SAT scores, and lack of compelling anecdote to base an admission’s essay on, yes.” 

Anne laughs, wicked in this moment as well. She wishes in this moment, fiercely, as she has many times over the last few years, that she had been able to go to university with Gilbert at her side -- as the friends they had slowly begun to be after years of one and two sided enmity, before time and distance had turned them into near strangers. She doesn’t regret staying back, not really, but there is a part of her that no one had ever understood half as well as Gilbert Blythe, who had, after the Harvard interest meeting, drawn and pinned up a schedule for practice SATs that took into account both his and Anne’s often conflicting life schedules. 

“What’s the catch,” she asks, grinning when Gilbert chokes “come on, Blythe, there’s always a catch with offers like this. Is it across from a waste manufacturing plant? Is the principal a pervert?” 

Slowly, Gilbert Blythe is turning red. “Ah,” he says, shuffling like he never did even when he was an errant schoolboy. “Well,” he says, and....is that his voice cracking? 

“Gilbert,” Anne says, trying to reassure him, “I grew up in the foster system, I can handle much worse than bad smells and pervert principals, I promise.” 

He frowns. “It’s not that,” he says slowly, “but basically they’re looking for two teachers, a man and a woman to manage the boys and the girls while the rest of the staff go on vacation.” 

Anne smiles, trying to ignore the jolt of her heart at the thought of an entire summer with Gilbert, studying like they used to but as friends. Her old dreams, finally coming true. “That’s perfect then, you take one job and I’ll take the other! It’ll be like old times, kind of.” 

He smiles faintly, as if, even after locking horns with the best and brightest at Harvard, Anne is still the person he wants to be trading barbs with over the heads of high school students for months on end. “I’d like nothing better, he says, except...” 

“Except?” 

Gilbert inhales. “ExceptTheSchoolWillOnlyHireAMarriedCoupleSoThatTheyDon’tHaveToWorryAboutOutofWedlockSexorTeachersHavingSexWithStudents.” All in a rush, and now Gilbert is the one who can’t apparently handle eye contact.

“What?” 

“The school,” Gilbert says to his shoes, “since it’s Catholic, and also since they’re lazy, only want a married couple so that they don’t have to have anyone watching to make sure the teachers aren’t having sex with the students. Or each other.” 

Anne blinks. “But we’re not married!” 

Gilbert grimaces, opening his mouth, but then just biting his lip. They could be, Anne thinks, only a tad hysterical. Only all of Avonlea was matching them up all the years of high school, and even the years after until she’d met Roy. It would be so easy to get a certificate. They could get a divorce by September, even annul their marriage since they definitely wouldn’t be having sex. 

Twenty thousand dollars. 

“So what you’re saying,” Anne says slowly, her lip curling of its own accord “is that after all that talk about what love is and isn’t, and telling me that I shouldn’t marry Roy for the money he’d give me, your blockheaded solution is instead, for me to marry you?” 

Gilbert looks up. “Well when you put it that way--”  Anne sees red, even as she already sees herself in one of her old white lace dresses, standing with Gilbert at the courtroom and signing. “Gilbert Blythe I don’t believe you! Sometimes, I think that you really do have all the emotional capacity of that slate I broke over your head!” 

“I know,” he says tone heavy with something so sad that Anne’s hearten softens a bit of its own accord. “But you really need the money, and I promise we’ll get a divorce by September.” He smiles, but there’s something bitter at the corners that Anne has never seen before -- she almost raises her hand to rub the strand of emotion off his lips. “And you’re not the only one who needs the money. Will you do it?” 

Twenty thousand dollars. The farm, Marilla, an end to the eternal pity of Avonlea. And also, a small part of her suggests, an opportunity to finally spend time with this new Gilbert Blythe who went off into the world and left her behind. 

She sighs. “I vote that you be the one to tell Mrs. Lynde.” 

You still have any thoughts about the enemies to lovers au? We left off at a pretty fraught moment

what a fraught moment indeed. i thought i could take after druck and just leave everyone hanging for news, but unlike druck, i actually came back bis bald wtf does that mean bitch anyways

more enemies to lovers au

Sara sends Matteo a voice message early in the evening, and it takes Matteo an hour, two beers, and a joint to work up the courage to open it. 

“Hey, Matteo. I- uh, I just wanted to say, that like, I was really shitty when I- well, you know. And I wanted to say that I’m sorry, and that I wasn’t thinking about- about you and like, what that would do to you. And that was- just really shitty I guess. I hope you can forgive me... Okay, that’s it. Bye.” 

She sounds sad, like she was on the verge of tears almost, and Matteo felt something mean and angry sink into his skin that made him want to scream, made him want to throw something, and say some choice words that wouldn’t be appreciated by anyone involved. He wanted to send something back that was loud and biting that said i don’t believe you, that said fuck off, that said oh, now you’re sorry?, that said you’re only saying it because David’s got involved. what about me? why weren’t you sorry when it was just me? why am I second place to my own feelings?

He didn’t though, send any of those messages. He left her on a read, even though it took all of his power to not send something back that gave her the message that he wasn’t interested in her apology, not now, not when he didn’t think there was anything genuine in it. 

Leonie messaged him, too. Twice over instagram of all places, even though he vaguely remembers that he has her number from when Sara’s phone died one time they were out and Sara demanded that he text Leonie with some slurring in her words to meet them at some place and was able to rattle her number off from the top of her head. 

sorry for outing youi would take it back if i could

Matteo did respond to those because there was something chilling taking over his hands and his fingers, making him start to shake all the way down to his knees, and red was blurring the edges of his vision, filled with rage and frustration and something else entirely. Disbelief, maybe. Insult, most likely. 

fuck off, he types out fast and sends it, seeing that she reads it immediately. He watches her start typing, and then stop, and then start again. 

can we talk? She asks, and starts talking again. i kno that sara wants to talk

And Matteo starts messaging back so fast that he wasn’t even looking at the letters anymore. 

i dont give a fcuki have nothing to say to uor heru had months to apolgizur only doing this bc of davidand i dont give a shit about ur insincere apologiesso jsut fuck off and leave me alone

He opens his chats with David and ignores the sweet and smiley messages that had been sending each other over the weekend, when they looked at today filled with promise and hope for starting something that would end up tasting like a hot fudge Sunday or marshmallows melted by the fire. He starts typing out some messages, but deletes them just as quickly to start something else, just as bitter and sour sounding as the last one, until he settles on the movie was good too bad u werent there.

And David comes online as soon as he hits send, and it takes him a second to start typing. 

can I come over? 

For a second, Matteo almost wants to say no, he can’t, that he didn’t want to see him right now, just to be a little bit of a jerk, but there was another part of him that wanted to fight right now, wanted to scream a little and make a scene with someone there to watch, wanted to show his anger in more than a couple of texts with bad spelling. So he sends his address and throws himself into his chair and lights up another blunt while he waits. 

It doesn’t take too long for David to get there, not long at all, and after a few minutes, Hans is pushing his door open to stick his head in. “Butterfly, there’s someone here to see you?” He asks with a sad little smile like David might have already spilled the reason why he was here, and for some reason, it makes Matteo angrier, makes his hands start shaking just a little bit at the thought that David is telling his business to everyone in hearing range. 

“Yeah,” he says through gritted teeth, and Hans frowns a little bit. 

“I’ll be right across the hall, okay?” He says like it’s a question, though it was more of a reminder and walks away, leaving the door open enough for him to see David standing there behind him with his hands shoved in his coat pockets and his shoes still on. 

“Hey,” David greets as he pushes the door closed behind him. 

Matteo doesn’t say anything, just stares at David and takes a drag of his mostly finished joint. 

“So, I, uh-” 

“Talked to Leonie and Sara? I know,” Matteo interrupts. “They messaged me. Apologizing.” 

“Leonie says you told her to fuck off,” David says with a tilt of his head, and it looks like he’s trying desperately to keep his face neutral, even though Matteo was making no such attempt. 

“Yeah,” he says and takes another drag. “I don’t want her fucking fake apologizes.” 

“They’re not fake,” David responds, still trying to keep his face blank, though his mouth kept quirking to the sides like it was getting more difficult.

Matteo scoffs and gets up to stub out the joint in a mug with the others. “Yeah, right,” he starts. “If they were sorry, and I mean for real, they would’ve fucking reached out months ago.”

David looks like he was feeling a little defensive all of sudden. “They just didn’t understand-”

“Oh, don’t give that bullshit! They understood just fine what they were doing, and the only reason that they’re even fucking saying sorry now is because you got involved. They’re not fucking sorry for what they did. They’re sorry that you’re mad at them,” Matteo interrupts and throws an arm out towards him. 

“Well someone had to get involved,” David spits out. “And you weren’t going to do anything about it.” 

“Fuck you,” Matteo spits out. “This was none of your fucking business. You had no fucking right to get involved. You weren’t even here when this happened!” 

“Sorry for giving a shit then! Jesus!” David throws his arms out, and takes his hat off to tug at the strands of his hair. 

“If you gave a shit, you would have asked what I wanted before you went out- fucking- I don’t know,” Matteo says and scratches at his face. “Airing my dirty laundry or some shit.” 

“I didn’t air your laundry or whatever,” David argues, looking a little less angry and a little more tired. “I went up to them and asked if they sent the video. And they both were like of course not, we wouldn’t do anything like that. And I said that’s good because it’s a fucking shitty thing to do and that I felt awful all week because of it and that I had to leave my last school because some asshole outed me and, fucking, ruined my life there. I told them it fucking sucks when someone tells something that you weren’t ready to tell and how about the kids there laughed at me, and stared at me, and asked me shitty fucking questions all the time. And that, you came over when the video came out and were there for me and are really sweet to me. And it’s good to have people support you.” 

And Matteo looks at him for a minute, trying to read the way that David was holding his gaze like he was serious, and exhausted, and something else mixed in there that seemed a little sad. “You said all that?” Matteo asks. 

“A little more eloquently the first time, I hope,” David says with a shrug. 

“Oh,” Matteo says, feeling like he was simmering out a little bit.

“I didn’t tell them to apologize or anything,” David says, stepping closer to Matteo and reaching out to gather up his hand that was still scratching along his jaw and down his neck as Matteo was trying to look at the puzzle now with a new piece. 

"Oh,” Matteo repeats, and David sways closer just a little bit. “I still-,” he starts and stops again. 

David hums and starts playing with Matteo’s fingers so they have something to do instead of creeping into his hairline and tugging. 

“I still don’t want to talk to them,” Matteo breathes out. “I’m not ready to... to forgive them. I guess.” 

“That’s okay,” David says quietly, and Matteo leans into his space to rest his face against his neck. “That’s okay, Teo,” he repeats and wraps an arm around Matteo’s back. “You don’t ever have to be ready if you’re not.” 

“Sorry for yelling at you,” Matteo says. “I just feel.. I don’t know.”

“I get it a little. I feel I don’t know sometimes, too.”

“And what do you do? When you feel like that?” Matteo asks and hugs him in close. 

David cards his fingers through Matteo’s hair, and it feels too nice for this moment, it feels like something out of, feels like they were being sprinkled in powder sugar even though the words they were just throwing at each other were dosed in gasoline, just ready to ignite at any moment. “I run away, just try to escape the whole world and never come back.”

“I don’t want to run away anymore,” Matteo mutters and clenches onto David’s elbow. 

“I don’t either,” David responds, running his nose down his side of Matteo’s temple. 

Matteo sighs into it. “We were supposed to go on our first date,” he says. 

“Yeah,” David says, and Matteo can feel the movement of his lips on his cheek. “How about we just take a nap now and try again in the morning?” 

“A new leaf.” 

1/? the thing about louis' interviews is that he is so alike harry in the sense that he doesn't wanna talk about his personal life. the difference is that while harry doesn't answer ANY question (which makes his intentions obvious for everyone listening) louis DOES answer everything they throw at him, it's just the same recycled stories. but for the gp or even the interviewers it doesn't sound weird like it does to us, the fans who watch every step he takes. of course every artist out there +

(this got long, so I’ll put it under a cut)

2/? will repeat some stories in different interviews because that’s just promo strategy but they’re often told differently and repeated when the question is similar (because we know questions get repeated a lot) and not applied to different questions yknow. i think we can see that clearly with liam and niall. anyways i think the point for louis is not only to say private (like it seems to be for harry) but mostly to feel like in control of stuff. in control of his narrative and how people +

3/? perceive him and imo that makes him more comfortable and allows him to be laid back in interviews. because it’s obvious for me that between the four guys he is usually the most strained in interviews (even when he’s super confortable) while liam and niall especially appear to be almost always super chill and unbothered? thats just my perception anyway. and thats obviously not a problem or any criticism to him! promo cycle sounds super boring and nerve-wracking and after everything +

4/? he’s been through i dont blame him for that; i think he does what he has to do in order to make him more comfortable with this moments (in 1d group interview his strategy seem to be make jokes for example) and im proud of him for founding a way out to bear it you know! lisa said in her tags: “i often get the idea that he’s afraid of performing badly so he’d rather back out when it comes to things like this. he’ll put his whole heart in to music and performing maybe because he knows +

5/5 knows that he’s good but something out of his comfort zone he’ll step out lean on charm and laugh it off its all or nothing” regarding the play doh thing and i think it sums up his behaviour in interviews. so basically liam seems to think honesty about EVERYTHING is the way to go, niall is amazing at sounding like he’s being honest even when he’s not, harry doesn’t wanna be honest and louis wants to open his heart with his lyrics but not in interviews bc the honestly in his music is enough.

+++++++++++++++

There’s a lot to unpack here, and this hit just as I finished watching two full (and vastly different) Louis interviews, so I feel almost qualified to answer, lmao. My take is slightly different, but kind of in the same vein? Interviews are PR performance, pure theater, so I tend to watch them for entertainment more than for any deep insights (and this is true for any artist; I know most people here don’t follow anyone else, but I guarantee it’s a game that is gamed across the board, this is work, the most tedious part of the job, etc.). But getting back to the D, yeah, they all handle it in their own ways: Harry is a terrible liar (in the sense of answering a direct question with a lie, he can’t do it…swerve? YES, but that’s not the same thing), Niall and Louis have zero problems on that front (Niall recently admitted that he and Louis made sport of saying random shit in interviews just to see where it would land, AND GOOD FOR THEM, they don’t owe us “the truth,” especially about anything personal), and Liam typically goes with what he’s supposed to say, but with nobody driving the ship these days, he says whatever he wants to in the moment, damn actual sense or timelines. It’s fascinating because they’ve all been media-trained to within an inch of their lives, but they also came into megastardom during the age of digital microinspection. Every interview, every soundbite is zoomed in on, giffed, edited, and recast, so someone like, say, Louis, who already has perfectionist tendencies, will tend to be VERY careful in how he answers (yet he won’t necessarily answer truthfully, if that makes sense). I also pay attention to how he says it–like you mentioned, he leans on the charm or a laugh, but I’ve noticed (and he also recently admitted) that he tends to do that ESPECIALLY when he’s saying something kind of sharp and sarky. It softens it so he doesn’t look like a dick, but it also absolutely highlights his brilliance. God, I could sit there and admire what he’s like all the live long day. For all of them, I guess the thing I admire is that in the face of this hours-long mindless tedium, they’re all extremely present (or they phone it in, but they never sound bored): they all act like this is the first time someone asked them this particular question, they all give it some thought, none of them roll their eyes, etc. I work with idiots from time to time, and I can’t do that. There are actual living, breathing actors who can’t do it!! Where am I going with this? Idk, but this is why I like to watch everything in full; it’s usually lots more entertaining and you get a feel for the performance writ larger. 

Out on the Town

Pairing: Calum Hood/Reader

Words: 1950

Author’s Note: Anon had requested this...  Could I request a cal imagine where you guys and the guys and the gfs are all out on the town in LA and it’s hot so you’re wearing shorts but you’re a little thicker so your thighs start chaffing but you dont want to tell anybody bc none of the girls have that issue and ur lowkey insecure about it? So you’re suffering and stopping at the bathroom all the time to try and give your legs a break and you’re in pain and sad but trying to stay positive until Calum notices you’re kinda limping and  asks what’s wrong and you’re tying to be super discreet bc you don’t want anybody to know so you whisper to him that your legs are on fucking fire and cal totally goes protective and suggests everybody grab a bite to eat at a sit down place before heading home and they all agree. And when you guys go home he’s super nice and rubbing lotion on your thighs to calm the burn and getting a cold damp cloth to try and help and lots of fluff? and me being a big girl myself was like hell fucking yes. So here we are! Enjoy! xoxo

I felt the bed dip, a hand brushing the hair out of my face and I squirm a bit. A groan erupts from my lips, shifting to the side. A pair of lips meets my skin, kissing up my jawline.

“Baby, wake up,” Cal’s voice whisper before he nuzzles his face into my neck.

My eyes flutter open, seeing Calum’s tattooed arm draped over my body. “Calum,” I whine, turning my head to glance at the clock seeing it was almost ten in the morning, “you know I like to sleep after you… you know.”

He hums, smirking a bit as he brushes his lips against mine. “Hm, I don't know what,you're referencing here babe,” he mentions, his breath fanning my face.

“You know exactly what I'm referencing lover boy,” I laugh, my fingers reaching for his arm, my thumb rubbing gently over his Indian tattoo. “I'm not complaining, but you tire me out every time we have sex.”

Calum chuckles, muttering an apology before pressing a short kiss to my lips. “Anyway, I would let you sleep longer, but the guys, Sara and Lola want to go out,” he tells me and I frown a bit, sitting up in bed. Don't get me wrong I love the guys and their girlfriends it's just… the girls intimidate me.

“Okay. Let me just take a shower and get ready,” I smile softly, pecking his cheek before getting out of bed heading towards the en-suite.

-

I look into the windows of shops as the seven of us walk down the streets of downtown LA. Calum swings our entwined hands and I giggle, looking towards the six-foot brunette.

“You're so cute,” I mumble, grinning ear to ear. I glance back down at the sidewalk, wincing quietly as my thighs begin to rub against one another. I adjust my shorts with my free hand, feeling a bit relieved now.

“I love you,” Calum whispers into my ear and I smile, squeezing his hands as my eyes look towards the girls. I find myself frowning once again, wishing I had a body like them.

We shop for a little bit and in every store I find myself sitting outside the dressing room Lola and Sara were in as they tried on clothes. I bite the inside of my lip, kind of regretting coming out. I glance out the door, seeing Cal and the guys looking around the men's section while conversing. He's the reason I came… well, the guys too.

“Y/N?” Lola mutters and I turn back around, seeing her in a tight dress that looks really good. “How does this look?”

I force a smile, nodding my head. “You look great, Lola,” I tell her, jealously filling my body.

“I don't look too fat?” She asks and I swear I felt my chest tighten. I shake my head, pressing my lips together.

She smiles, thanking me before heading back into the dressing room. I get up from the seat, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Hey, guys?” I call out and the four of them turn to me. “I'm gonna go sit outside.”

Luke, Ash, and Mike nod as Calum kept his eyes on me. I give him a reassuring smile before walking, well limping, towards the door. I scrunch my face up, letting out a hiss as I get outside, sitting down on the bench a few feet away from the clothing store.

I fumble with my fingers, frowning as I thought about Lola’s comment. Tears pool in my eyes as I look at my thighs pressed together before my gaze moved to my stomach. I'm not much of a bigger girl, but I'm classified as chubby. I quickly wipe the tear that fell from my eyes, letting out a sigh as I heard footsteps.

“Baby?” Calum’s voice spoke up and I tilt my head up, seeing my gorgeous boyfriend stepping up to me. “You okay?”

I stay silent, debating if I should tell him or not. He crouches in front of me, taking my hands into his. “M-My thighs burn every time I walk and b-being around Lola and Sara doesn't exactly help my confidence,” I confess, tearing up again as Calum frowns.

“I'll tell them that were getting hungry, which I actually am,” he adds and I let out a little laugh and he smiles a bit, “so we can sit down for a bit. Listen to me though, babe. Don't worry about how you look, okay? Don't compare yourself to the girls. You are beautiful just the way you are. I love every inch of you and I wouldn't change a damn thing.”

I sniff, rubbing my nose a bit as Calum’s free hand rubs the tops of my thighs. “Really?” I ask, feeling my heart flutter in my chest. He nods his head, grinning ear to ear before standing up. He pulls me to my feet, wrapping an arm around my waist.

“Absolutely. I'm not gonna lie to you. I fell in love with you because of your personality. Your looks are just a bonus. Plus, there's more to grab onto when we make love,” he smirks, giggling a bit as I let out a laugh, shaking my head.

“Thank you, Cal,” I whisper, looking up at him as I wrap my arms around his neck. “I'm so in love with you.”

Calum dips his head down, connecting our lips in a passionate kiss. My fingers comb through his hair as I kiss him back, enjoying our little moment alone.

Whistles were suddenly heard as the two of us pull away from each other. We glance over his shoulder to see Mike, Luke and their girlfriends holding hands as Ash walks in front of them, grinning at the two of us.

“Look at you guys. So cute,” Ash comments as Calum thanks him, his fingers rubbing the skin under my tank top.

“Oh, so,” Calum starts, pulling away from me but laces our fingers together. “Y/N and I are pretty hungry. You guys down to get something to eat before we head home?” He asks and our friends agree, beginning to make our way towards the restaurants.

We stop at a cute little restaurant and the waitress begins to lead us towards the patio, passing a restroom. I stop in my tracks and Calum stumbles a bit since our hands were still together. “Sorry. I'll be there in a minute, Cal,” I tell him, letting go of his hand and he nods his head, giving me a loving smile before walking towards our friends.

I head into the women’s room, glad that it was empty. I spread my legs a bit, glancing down at my thigh to see the irritated skin. I bite my lip, sniffling a bit at how painful it's got. I grab some paper towels, wetting them before pressing it to my thighs, trying to soothe the pain a bit. Once I was done I wet my face, trying to hide the fact that I was tearing up a bit.

I walk out of the restroom, seeing everyone sitting out on the patio, talking and laughing. I smile at them when I get to the table, adjusting my shorts as I sit in the chair.

“I got you a Sex on the Beach,” Cal tells me and I thank him, patting his thigh before looking through the menu.

Everyone's looking at their menu as I glance towards Cal, seeing him lean his cheek against the palm of his hand while he rests his other hand on my thigh.

The waitress came back without drinks, handing each of them out before grabbing her notepad. “Is everyone ready to order?”

-

The two of us were walking home after we had a late lunch. My shorts ride up a bit, the irritated skin rubbing together as I wince, spreading my legs a little bit. Calum stops to look down at me before getting in front of me, crouching slightly.

“Hop on,” he mutters and I snort, shaking my head.

“I'm not getting on your back, Cal,” I tell him and he turns his head back, sighing.

“Please? We're about three minutes to the house. You're not gonna kill me if that's what you're worried about,” Calum mentions and I comb my fingers through my hair.

“You're not going to take no for an answer are you?” I ask and he shakes his head, giving me a large grin. I chuckle, rolling my eyes as I hop onto his back. His large hands grab the back of my thighs while I rest my head on his shoulder. “Have I told you that I love you?”

Calum hums, continuing forwards the house, glancing towards me. “You may have told me a couple times, but I'm not complaining,” he smiles, placing a quick kiss to the side of my face.

Once we made it to the house, Calum refused to drop me as he tries to unlock the front door. I giggle as he struggles a bit, finally getting the keys from his pocket.

“If you had put me down we would've gotten into the house faster,” I tell him, smirking lightly as he hushes me. He opens the door, bringing me inside before kicking it shut.

Calum drops me onto the couch and I let out a small shriek, bouncing a bit once I hit the furniture. “Stay right there. I'll be right back,” he mumbles and I nod, curious as to what he's gonna do.

He comes back out a minute later with a wet washcloth and some of my lotion. My heart flutters as he moves the coffee table a bit closer to the couch before sitting on it. His brown eyes met mine, giving me a smile while grabbing my leg, pushing my jean shorts up a bit.

I watch as he took the cool washcloth, rubbing it gently against one of my thighs. I hiss slightly, pressing my hands against the couch as Calum quietly apologizes. He gave my other thigh the same treatment before setting the washcloth down.

“You didn't have to do this,” I mumble to him and he looks up at me, pumping some lotion onto his hands.

He nods, smiling. “I know. I wanted too. Just, please tell me next time that this happens when we're out together, okay?” Calum asks and I nod.

I grab my phone from my pocket as Cal begins to rub the spots on my thighs with lotion. I take a picture of him, grinning widely as I look at it. In the picture, Calum looks so concentrated on rubbing the lotion on my thighs and it instantly becomes one of my favorites.

wxnderfulhooman: Not every guy will rub lotion on your thighs for you. I certainly found the right man to love. I love you so much, @calumhood. ❤

I smile at the Instagram post I made, hearing Calum’s phone ring. He wipes the excess lotion off with the washcloth before pulling his phone from his pocket. A smile came onto his lips and he begins typing.

My phone vibrates as I glance down at the device seeing Calum had liked and commented on my post. I open the notification, my heart filling with warmth as I read what he wrote.

@calumhood: I'd do anything for you, baby girl. I'll love you until the day I die. ❤

“It's true,” Cal pipes up and I lock my phone after liking the comment, looking towards him. “You're the one for me, baby.”

I lower my legs from his lap, leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips. “You're my one and only, Calum.”

-

Taglist: @gotta-try-something-new @twilightparker @ashs-cheergirl @dashlilymark @lukeskisses @thatcheekychic @h0tsos @morningfears @kinglyhood @thebookamongmen @crownedbyluke @shower-me-with-roses

reading hamlet for the first time (act 5: the finale)

masterlist

none of you told me it was going to be this painful . none of you.

a5s1

“Ophelia’s dead.” “Enter CLOWNS!”

Like im sure this has a different meaning in EMA but im gonna make fun of it because it’s fucking hilarious. (future (present? (now past once more (?))) antares coming back to say i did look at nfs and yeah theyre gravediggers)

“First Clown: What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter? Second Clown: The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.” damn not even just this one quote but these are some depressing clowns

hamlet and horatio!

okay there’s something about all of hamlet’s skull talk that makes me uneasy. like, not even the topic, just something in the words and how earnestly and (pardon my pun) gravely hamlet’s speaking about this. and it’s almost a mournful tune, too. it’s a huge difference from his “we’ll all be eaten by the same worms” speech to the point that it’s almost haunting.

“HAMLET: I will speak to this fellow.” C O N F R O N T

“HAMLET: I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in't.” (incomprehensible scribbling)

HAMLET, NOT IN ENGLAND: oh yeah lol he was sent to england huh u know why lmao

wait. did the. did the pirate situation get resolved. before act V.

I mean i think hamlet mentioned something about three years but the pirates are so fucking glossed over like what the fuck

“First Clown: 'Twill, a not be seen in him there; there the men are as mad as he.” HOLY SHIT ROAST THEM JFC

“HAMLET: Let me see. (Takes the skull)” THIS IS THE SKULL SCENE! I fucking KNEW it was bullshit that holding the skull was in the to be/not to be speech. I saw it being presented as such like once or twice while reading and I KNEW IT

hm okay so hamlet picks up this guys skull, of someone he used to know, and sure maybe i could ignore the “those lips i have kissed” but then he goes on to mention alexander the great and i mean come on

but jesus like i feel like im not doing justice to the stuff hamlet’s saying. just, the gravity of it all. Its kinda hitting home a bit hard bc like ive had a crippling fear of what happens after death and being forgotten etc since i was like in fourth grade and this is @ing that phobia

like, with that julius ceasar thing. “O that that earth which kept the world in awe / should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw,” it’s so strange. like, every fucking human who has lived, whether they be emperors, murderers, inventors, peasants, or philanthropists- as long as they weren’t blind, they’ve all looked at the same sky. like. It doesnt matter what the fuck you did or didn’t. It’s wild.

“First Priest: No more be done: We should profane the service of the dead To sing a requiem and such rest to her As to peace-parted souls.” hey i get that there are cultural taboos around suicide but like this guy’s a dick it isnt even clear if it was suicide, like, she was so fucking crazy she might not have even known she was, y’know, in a lake or w/e

laertes, dude, my guy. maybe jumping into a grave is cosmic foreshadowing for something you don’t want to happen to you. js.

“HAMLET: [Advancing] What is he whose grief Bears such an emphasis? whose phrase of sorrow Conjures the wandering stars, and makes them stand Like wonder-wounded hearers? This is I, Hamlet the Dane. (Leaps into the grave)” hamlet is NOT one to be out-extra’d (posting-antares here to say, wait, ‘whose phrase of sorrow conjures the stars? is this my aesthetic-speeches-summon-ghosts theory? probably not, but i havent mentioned it for a while)

“LAERTES: The devil take thy soul! (Grappling with him)” IN A FUCKING GRAVE. THEY ARE FIGHTING. IN A GRAVE.

all because hamlet doesn’t want to be out-extra’d. my god.

“QUEEN GERTRUDE: This is mere madness: And thus awhile the fit will work on him; Anon, as patient as the female dove, When that her golden couplets are disclosed, His silence will sit drooping.” Ah yes gertie just talk about the distraught and angry madman as if he isn’t there. that’ll diffuse the situation.

You know what? We still haven’t discussed the pirates.

a5s2

“HAMLET: So much for this, sir: now shall you see the other; You do remember all the circumstance?” If this isn’t gonna be about the pirates im gonna. scream.

“HAMLET: My fears forgetting manners, to unseal Their grand commission; where I found, Horatio,-- O royal knavery!--an exact command, Larded with many several sorts of reasons Importing Denmark's health and England's too, With, ho! such bugs and goblins in my life, That, on the supervise, no leisure bated, No, not to stay the grinding of the axe, My head should be struck off.” god, though. imagine that. being exiled to another country by the person who killed your father, only to find out that they were going to have you killed, anyways. that’s fucking terrifying. jesus christ.

Damn this idea that pretty handwriting is ~beneath~ nobles confuses me so fucking much. I got called haughty once just because my main handwriting is cursive. I mean, they were right, but their evidence was circumstantial at best.

“HAMLET: That, on the view and knowing of these contents, Without debatement further, more or less, He should the bearers put to sudden death, Not shriving-time allow'd.” Hamlet’s Revenge. 

but also, what the fuck, dude. two wrongs dont make a right.

damn i kinda lost myself while reading but it really doesn’t sound like hamlet’s insane anymore. Like he’s… tempered himself. he doesn’t feel insane, just solemn.

“OSRIC: Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark. HAMLET: I humbly thank you, sir. Dost know this water-fly?” goddamn ROAST HIM HAMLET (also what a fucking mood)

Osric put on your fucking ha--

The wind is

The wind is northerly

“HAMLET: No, believe me, 'tis very cold; the wind is northerly.” I remember someone saying that this is important

Okay here: “HAMLET: I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.”

oh no

Osric just wear ur fucking hat u doof

“OSRIC: Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry,--as 'twere,--I cannot tell how. But, my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that he has laid a great wager on your head: sir, this is the matter,-- HAMLET: I beseech you, remember-- (HAMLET moves him to put on his hat)” excuse me a WAGER

but alas all hamlet cares about is osric’s fucking hat

“HAMLET: What's his weapon? OSRIC: Rapier and dagger. HAMLET: That's two of his weapons: but, well.” hamlet u sarcastic little shit i love you

I mean so is horatio. I love him too.

This stuff with the competition is. not gonna end well. not at well.

“HAMLET: I do not think so: since he went into France, I have been in continual practise: I shall win at the odds. But thou wouldst not think how ill all's here about my heart: but it is no matter.”

hamlet no. listen to your heart or whatever. jesus christ don’t do it.

“HORATIO: Nay, good my lord,--” HAMLET LISTEN TO HORATIO

Ohhh hamlet

okay reading what laertes said, you know what? i’m giving laertes one last chance. please do not prove me a fool, laertes. 

everything is giving me mad anxiety. e v e r y t h i n g.

claud’s speech is insanely sketchy

“KING CLAUDIUS: [Aside] It is the poison'd cup: it is too late.” One, so that’s why it was sketchy. Two, the POISONED CUP?

IT’S TOO LATE?

Gertie’s. Dead.

Shit, shit, shit

“LAERTES: [Aside] And yet 'tis almost 'gainst my conscience.” YES! SO PLEASE! STOP FIGHTING!

“LAERTES wounds HAMLET; then in scuffling, they change rapiers, and HAMLET wounds LAERTES.” Oh no oh no oh jeez eheu they’re hurting each other, shit, fuck,

“LAERTES: ...woodcock…”

“KING CLAUDIUS: She swounds to see them bleed. QUEEN GERTRUDE: No, no, the drink, the drink,--O my dear Hamlet,-- The drink, the drink! I am poison'd. (Dies)” one, i love how claud is desperatley trying to stick to the plan, its almost adorable in a childish sort of way. two, oh god. ohhh god. gertie. 

Oh no. 

this is the bloodbath. THIS IS THE BLOODBATH.

BODY COUNT: 1

“HAMLET: The point!--envenom'd too! Then, venom, to thy work. (Stabs KING CLAUDIUS)” ...

BODY COUNT: 2

wait and hamlet’s on death row, as with laertes. Oh no.

“LAERTES: He is justly served; It is a poison temper'd by himself. Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: Mine and my father's death come not upon thee, Nor thine on me. (Dies)’ oh my god already??? I haven’t even really accepted king claud’s death?? jesus christ??

My friend just sorta nudged me and asked if i was alright and i. I’m not. i’m in shock. goddamn. what?

BODY COUNT: 3

goodness thats three in like less than thirty seconds JESUS CHRIST

“HAMLET: Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.I am dead, Horatio.” that’s chilling. just, the poignancy. that’s so fucking spectral. i’m not okay.

“HORATIO: Never believe it: I am more an antique Roman than a Dane: Here's yet some liquor left.” No no no on no nononon NO NO oh my god are you going to-

“HAMLET: As thou'rt a man, Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I'll have't. … If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart Absent thee from felicity awhile, And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain, To tell my story.” hey i’m crying in study hall. i’m actually crying. what the fuck. I don’t cry unless i’m thinking about that one pair of 18th century shoes with the really good photo quality (transcribing-antares here. I fucking love those shoes. I’m looking at them right now and they’re so fucking beautiful. they look how velvet feels, which is odd, bc they're apparently silk. I don’t care they’re just so fucking lovely)

F O R T I N B R A S?

“HAMLET: O, I die, Horatio; The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit.” I’ve identified my emotion. Dread. pure, unadulterated Dread.

for all of you that’ve listened to the penumbra podcast: do you remember the concierge, right before final resting place, saying “you do realize you can just like, leave, and everything will be hunky dory and you won’t have to deal with the emotional consequences this episode will bring you” because i’m seriously considering doing that right now.

“HAMLET: The rest is silence. (Dies)” shit. (posting-antares here to say that i forgot to do the body count but honestly im crying while formating because of this goddamn fucking 400 year old play)

“HORATIO: Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince…” oh god. horatio.

“Good night sweet prince…”

(yet again tis transcribing-antares here to say that im fucking sobbing right now, the shoes are no match for this, and ‘goodnight sweet prince’ is actually never going to leave my head.) (editing-antares here to say im fucking crying again god fucking damn it) (posting-antares back again saying that this fucking line. this line. my god.)

“HORATIO: What is it ye would see? If aught of woe or wonder, cease your search.” oh, horatio. god. that isn’t something said without tears staining your skin and a bitter tone hard-won, not that its possession is a victory.

oh my god. this can’t. no. this can’t end like this. What. no. people must have rioted. No. no!!

i typically hate it but i would GLADLY accept a deus ex machina right about now!!

okay my friend just took my phone away from me and shut it off because i kept on trying to scroll past the end

jesus christ

okay so i’m not going to be okay for like, several eternities, so im going to play the sims until i. until i die, probably. my god.

masterlist

obey

The sounds of childish laughter resonate throughout the garden, a young boy with blonde hair running across the lawn screaming in joy between his giggles. Behind him follow more children, one with jet-black hair and a cheeky smile, one who looks massively bigger than the rest, a little girl with a blunt sword almost the size of her in her hand, and two skinny boys, one with black hair cut extremely short and the other with shaggy blonde hair.  

“Thor, you’re too fast,” Volstagg says, his breath catching.

“You’re just too slow,” Thor teases, turning his head to blow a raspberry at Volstagg. He doesn’t notice the root jutting out in front of him and trips over it, sprawling across the garden. He hears the sounds of his friends and brother laughing, and feels like he’s about to burst into tears.

“Are you okay, Thor?” Sif asks, her face looming over his. Thor wants to go to his Mother and cry in her fancy gown. He doesn’t want to talk to these people right now. His knees hurt and he wants Freida.

“Go away,” he whines, his voice cracking slightly as he tries not to cry in front of all of them. He’s going to be the King of Asgard soon and he doesn’t want Father to not make him king because he cried like a baby.

“Awww, is Thor going to cry?” Loki asks, crouching over his older brother’s body. He has a cheeky smirk on his face and Thor wants to kick his little brother. Sometimes he wishes Loki was never born because ugh, he is so annoying. Like how Heimdall never lets him visit any of the other Realms without ‘adult supervision’, whatever that means.

“Shut up, Loki,” Thor lets out, feeling kind of angry. Especially because none of his friends have listened to him. They’re all surrounding Thor as if he’s a new toy that they don’t know what to do with. Plus, he’s going to be The King, they should be listening to him! He hopes and wishes he can get new friends and a better little brother tomorrow.

“Maybe we should call Aunty Freida,” Hogun offers, and Thor thinks of him as his only true friend at the moment.

“No, Thor’s a big boy, he doesn’t need Mommy,” Loki rejects and lets out a little giggle. Suddenly, in place of Loki there is a little puppy and Thor giggles. He loves puppies! They’re so cute and soft and cuddly!

“Volstagg, don’t hit it!” Sif screams just as Volstagg is about to stomp on the furry creature.

“But, it’s weird-looking,” Volstagg replies, his face tilting as he examines the four-legged being.

“It’s a puppy, silly,” Thor informs him as he tries to sit up. When he feels his knee sting further, a tear escapes his eye.

“Thor, are you crying?” Fandral asks, half-distracted by the puppy now sniffing around him. “Stop that.” He points his finger threateningly at the small mammal.

“Shut up!” Thor shouts. In the distance, lightning cackles. “I want all of you to go away.” When no one moves, he grows angry. “I said, go away!” He wants to hit all of them but he can’t because otherwise he knows his Mother will tell him that he shouldn’t go around hitting his friends. But he’s going to be King, and people should be listening to him. Yes, that’s what he’ll tell his mother the next time she scolds him. “Go away! That’s an order!” His friends look at him oddly and the puppy jumps onto Thor’s lap. “Obey! I’m going to be King of-”

“You’re caught, come catch us!” Loki squeals, as he pushes over Thor and runs away from his older brother. Thor’s lap is now curiously empty. His friends follow Loki, rushing after him trying to create some distance. Thor lunges after them, running to catch his little brother, barely feeling the sting in his leg anymore. He’s going to tell his Mother all about how Loki is a little cheater!

~ “maybe you’re not so bad after all, brother.” ~

679 words

i legit have this headcanon that loki & thor always take care of each other no matter what & it was only as they got older than loki got more bitter towards thor thanks to odin, father of the millenium™. 

also, amidst so many angsty post-iw fanfiction & posts, i thought a little fluffy loki & thor bromance would be a good way to appreciate, love & laugh w/ these characters. im hoping & praying loki comes back bc my bois have only gotten back to being proper brothers™ and now he’s fucking dead???

also that final quote is from ragnarok @ the end when they’re on the ship.

also idc if loki can’t actually shapeshift into a puppy. fuck that shit. in this he can :)

also 2002 by anne-marie & let me by zayn are nice songs. no they dont have anything to do with this but huhu just felt like sharing that information :)

Omfg tell me more about the kidnapping story

ALriGHty then FriEnd. Here we go. So I live in California generally by San Francisco, but this summer I flew to Montana (If you’re not from the US, it’s about 2000 miles away, right below Canada) by myself to spend 6 weeks with my extended family that I rarely get to see. So It was like August 1st or whatever, it was a tuesday. And let me clarify, Montana is like the 3rd biggest state or some shit but it is literally Cowboy™Hell™. Their capital city Helena (where we were might I add) only has a population of 31,169. Now, I cant speak for all of y’all reading this, but that is small as fuck. I’m not gonna tell you where I live, but the population of my SMALL city is 84,950. AND MY CITY IS TINY. Like binch get some people. Anyways,,, so I was staying with my cousin Mackenzie and we told her literal trash piece of a mom that we were going to stay the night at her friend Olivia’s house. So we went to Olivia’s and did our makeup and fucked around and decided we wanted to go out. So where do you go when you’re in  Cowboy™Hell™ with population of 31,169? Walmart. So at this point when we are done fucking around and gettin ready and shit, its like 10pm. No matter where you are in the world, all Walmarts are the same. e v e r y w h e r e. When you step into a Walmart you get that feeling and it’s what keeps the world together. So when we go to Walmart, we literally fuck around there for like an hour, and we get some Rockstar energy drinks bc what’s more suspicious than 3 teenagers,, one with bright ass dyed red hair (me,,),,, buying a bottle of chemicals to consume at 11pm,, :)) So let me clarify, there is a “city”-wide curfew from 11pm to 5:30am,, and my cousins terrible excuse of a mom doesnt know we are out. So we leave walmart and we just chill in Mackenzie’s (cousin) car deciding wtf we should do. And then we remember, we know someone with a cute ass dog. This dog is literally the cutest dog anyone has ever seen, not even exaggerating. She is like a 6 week old Australian shepherd mix and she looks like the physical embodiment of if Trump got impeached (the literal best thing in the world). So this chick who owns this dog let’s us come meet her so we can like pet sit the dog for the night. So obviously, we go get this dog,, i mean,,,,, who wouldn’t want to be with the cutest dog  e v e r. So we go get this dog and we were just chillin and talking to the girl for a while so now its like 12am. So now there’s just 3 suspicious looking teenagers with literally nothing to do in  Cowboy™Hell™. And now we have a dog. So let me tell you about Olivia real quick. She has been living off energy drinks for the last 3 years, she’s not the BIGGEST fan of the dog (for some reason..), and her life goal is to go take pictures on all of the statues in  Cowboy™Hell™ with a population of 31,169. And thats what we go to do. We drive downtown and take this cute ass puppy who is no bigger than a football and we start walking around downtown. Now,, as much as I love this dog, I said we probably shouldn’t take it because she can’t walk for that long,, but no,, Kenzie wanted to take her,, So we did. So we walk around with this cute ass dog downtown at like 1am with no one else there and no form of protection,, i know,,,,, smart. In Cowboy™Hell™, there’s a large statue of a propeller on top of a small hill in like the middle of downtown. So we all start walking up this hill so Olivia can achieve her life goal,, well the dog was getting tired or something because it kept like stopping on it’s way up. So Olivia and I went up the hill to the propeller while Kenzie stayed with the dog and tried to get it to come. About 2 minutes after we went up the hill,, Kenzie came running up to the top holding the dog and saying “dude there’s a guy coming up the hill”,, none of us actually thought this was fucking terrifying bc there’s just some random ass guy at 1am,,, but we are all antisocial fucks so obviously talking to him was what we were worried about. But just as Kenzie told us, we saw the guy which freaked tf out of her because she said he would have had to RUN,,,, to be that close to us that soon. So you know when you’re chasing your sibling and theres one of you on each side of the table or the couch or whatever? yeah,,,, that’s what we did with this guy,.. We attempted to ‘hide’ behind the propeller (it was literally the most pathetic thing i’ve ever done, we were all laughing and joking like “oh fucc he’s probably a murderer lmao” (as we needed to be fucking quiet) and as he walked by he said something but none of us know what he said. it was really short but idk. So he went into this tunnel that’s filled with graffiti that’s literally right behind the propeller statue and then we actually had some logic and were like o shit we should probably go,,,,,, so we all like ran down the other side of this hill,, and let me remind you,, we are still holding this goddamn dog,, that i said we shouldn’t take.. We were all laughing like omg we are gonna get raped lmfao (which we shouldnt joke about but some creepy ass dude just walked by us at 1:30 am like tf). So we were just chillin and then we notice, this guy started walking down the hill. Towards us. Now we are actually creeped the fuck out and we starting to think like oh shit is this guy actually following us,, so we start walking away, making sure to keep looking at him to see if hes still following us. Okay, sidenote; I currently have a balloon tied to my wrist (i found it while climbing statues earlier), I am holding a book that we also found, Olivia is holding the dog because the puppy can’t run with us, and Kenzie is holding a book and Olivia’s energy drink. It’s 1:30 am in the middle of  Cowboy™Hell™ population 31,169 and some guy is now following us. But we wanted to make sure he was following us, so we went around a building and he also went around us, confirming that he is indeed,, a complete psychopath. So we run around the building to the other side and we check to see if he’s still there. Also,, this  e n t i r e  time, we only ever saw him walk. He never ran. Which lowkey made it even MORE fucking terrifying. So me, having common sense, think O SHIT, THERE’S SOME RANDOM ASS GUY FOLLOWING US IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,, WE SHOULD PROBABLY CALL THE COPS,,,,, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,, nah.. that idea was shut down immediately when Olivia brought up, the curfew. Hmmmmm,,,,, face parents or get raped/murdered????,,,,, obviously the latter. So now it’s probably 2am. At this point, we start to worry a bit, and by ‘worry a bit i mean start freaking the fuck out. Like, we could legitimately die depending on what this guy’s intentions were. Without Kenzie or I even noticing, Olivia picks up a rock in case she needs a weapon,,, like a rock would protect against a gun or knife or some shitt,,, but its okay. And while all of this is happening,,,,,,,,,, we are still holding this cute ass dog. So we decided we need to GO. But the guy is between us and the car. So we run across the street and hide in this little area in the trees. He sees us and starts walking down the MIDDLe of the street.  Creepy as FUCK. So we start running,, with my balloon, two books, an energy drink and a puppy. We ran to this old walking street thing that goes uphill, and they have a bunch of historical buildings or something. We can see the first building has like a back yard so we hop the stone fence and hide back there. I put my balloon on the doorknob to the building so that it wouldn’t fly away, and the guy couldn’t see where we were (ik,, smart af). We set the dog down and take a few moments to chill and breathe and think about what we are gonna do. This building is right on the street and right across from a park, so olivia tries to go look and see if the guy is still there, and she accidentally hit a huge metal thing which made the LOUDEST sound ever. So take a moment to ask yourself, what the fuck would you do if some creepy ass dude was following you at 2am in the middle of a “city” that you dont live in? Well shitt just die apparently. So we started talking and we were like fuck, we need to get the hell out of here, now. At this point, our car is like .7 miles away and we are all lazy ass motherfuckers who don’t run,, e v e r. But I guess it’s our only option. So we have to run this, while carrying two books, an energy drink, and a dog. You might ask you might ask yourself, why still carry the books and energy drink?? Are they really that important??? Yes. We sneak out onto the street to see if he’s even still there, and then we see this dicknugget stand up. He was sitting in the park, waiting for us. And then we started running. Now, running back to our car was a whole other adventure just by itself. We are running slightly downhill, which makes us go faster. We don’t even bother looking to see this guy because  nyoom nyoom gotta go fast – We start sprinting down this road,, and then we hear a car coming. It’s gotta be going like 60 mph down this goddamn road at 2am and they see 3 teenage girls sprinting. Just a normal day in  Cowboy™Hell™ apparently because if you see three people running as fast as they can down a road in the middle of the night, you might stop to see if they’re okay? nahhhh. guess nott. Not to mention, Olivia and I almost got ran over by this goddamn car because we are running in the middle of the street. Meanwhile, we still have 2 books, an energy drink, and a puppy (who at this point is probably traumatized just like the rest of us).. So we just keep running for what seemed like forever (it was probably like 2 minutes), and then,, I drop my book. And me,, being the dumbass that I am,,, i stop to pick it up. Don’t ask me why I risked my life to pick up a book that we randomly found,, a book that i dont need,, a book that later we found out to be erotica,, because i do. not. know. Ya know, I always had this mental picture that if, for some reason, I had to run for my life, my body would trade in my out-of-shape, asthma-stricken lungs for super-lungs from the adrenaline or something– BOI WAS I WRONG. My lungs felt like they were on fire. Like actually burning. So what do I do? I’m literally being chased by a murderer but I really dont wan’t to run.. Well fuck, guess i’ll just die. I start walking because FUCK IT, my out of shape ass needs to chill. Then Kenzie see’s that I am walking she was like THANK GOD i’m tired too. Meanwhile Olivia is way ahead of us, and she looks back to see us,,, and we are walking, and she was like “what the fuCk are you DoiNG ??”. So kenzie and I work up the strength to start running again; and then we see it,,, our car. We unlock the car and just sit. All of us out of breath, scared shitless, apparently Olivia still had her rock, and my first thought after this was all done? I want my balloon. While all these events were occurring, Kenzie was texting her friend what was happening. We went and picked up Kenzie’s friend and his friend who was staying with him. Now it’s like 3am. We almost just got murdered/raped/kidnapped/whatever, the cute ass dog is sleeping in the car, and now we have two guys with us. weLL HEy, I haVe A gREat iDeA; LET’s GO GET MY BALLOON. So we drove the car for another 20 minutes and went back to the same place we almost died; I know, smart. Just a quick reminder that Cowboy™Hell™’s “city”-wide curfew is 11pm… and its 3am,,,. So we park in the same exact spot we were parked 2 hours earlier when we were being stalked by some creepy motherfucker and we got out. We showed the guys what happened place by place, we got my balloon, and then we were just chillin on the street. We saw some car down the street driving towards us and Kenzie made some tdumbass joke like “lmao watch that be the sheriff”, Well GUESS WHO THE FUCK IT WAS??? YOU GuESseD rIGhT mY FrIENd. the sheriff. Quick reminder: curfew. If that sheriff stops, not only do we look fuckin suspicious af just chillin in the middle of downtown on a tuesday at 3am, they will call our parents. And we cant have that.. So what do you do when you’re in Cowboy™Hell™ and can’t get caught by the cops? Run. We all get off our asses and book it, and hide in some bushes for about 10 minutes until the coast was clear,, well we thot anyways,,,, we were walking down the street and he came around again and guess what? We all run for like 20 minutes back to our damn car and drive. BYE BITCH. None of our parents know we are out, so where tf do we go now? Can’t go home. My home is 2000 miles away. Well what perfect place to be in Cowboy™Hell™ then the CHURCH. We legitimately spent a good 3 hours in the church parking lot because where else we gonna go? back to Walmart? Probably,,, then its about 7am and we drove to some park. Welllllll,, since its Cowboy™Hell™ with a population of 31,169, EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS EACH OTHER. My cousin’s neighbor came jogging by at 7 in the goddamn morning (who does that, get a life, sleep in, just stahp,,) and recognizes our car and guess what happens now? He calls our parents :))))))) Thanks for being a snitching ass little bitch,, because then my cousin’s mom drives up and says heyyyyyy, get your asses home :)) Well guess where we didn’t go? home. Guess where we went instead? Of all the places in Cowboy™Hell™ with a population of 31,169, we went to Walmart. 

[04>: you up?]

[> Hng. Bad time. Not like it will ever be a good time again, right? 😎>04: am i ever]

[04: we may never know. what do you have in stock for cat toys and adjacent?]

[😎>04: aw shit i sorry i spaced out for 😎: two hours 😎: uh havent been in my warehouse in a hot minute 😎: got a bunch there like mostly hello kitten stuff bc people like a good bit of illegal brands 😎: also a lot of other random stuff tho most of it is reserved for nepeta]

[04: i'm not gonna lie i'm just looking for gifts for nep.]

[😎: well fuck me cant have you gift her anything better than i do 😎: but turns out taking some unannouced offtime kinda made a dent into my sales soo i guess i can have you look around 😎: not like im desperate or anything]

[04: sweetheart you know i can have your back if your wallet's low, right?] [04: i'll be outside in a bit.]

😎[: like you dont already do > Well fuck you. Gdi.]

Clover 01/15/2019

> Your narrator's too tired to do this all fancy. You are There.

Dave 01/16/2019

> Sure alright, you're there too, totally not a day later. Where's the meeting? At the office or before your house? > Anyway, shit. You've already been nervous before, but actually seeing the green lil guy now fills you with so much anxiety and pain.

"Sup."

Clover 01/16/2019

> House ig?? "'Ey shadesy. You ready to show me 'round?"

Dave 01/16/2019

> Oh look, time to be even more nervous. You excused yourself from your bros because, you know, you actually got a business to run. Hope none of them are seeing you with Clover. "Sure. Hop on. I'd say if I had a car. You up for a walk?" > God please say he brought a car.(edited)

Clover 01/16/2019

"I can call a tax if you're out of shape," your tone is playful, if only because you're shoving your distress over literally everything deep deep down.

Dave 01/17/2019

"Yeah lets go with that, sure, that works." Meanwhile you'd absolutely love to repress all that feels bad you kinda stopped doing that when you got a moirail w*ho's dead now and can't really help you with all these terrible feelings and trauma and it's all because of these green fucks and-- You're incredibly uncomfortable and not nearly as good of an actor as pretty much everyone else in this city.

Clover 01/17/2019

Your mouth parts a bit as if you're going to say something, but you cut yourself off, breathing in and rubbing your face as you let out a sigh. As usual, a cab happens to drive by as soon as you need one, and you flag it down.

Dave 01/17/2019

Of course he immediately manages to get a cab. Actually a bit of a relief because you wouldn't wanna stand around here with him for another couple minutes. "So hey uh, real nice of you to get some stuff to treat Nep" you say as you get into the car, because you'd rather ramble down some nonsense than to suffer in awkward silence. "Been wanting to get her some stuff too but I'd been a bit hard to find some fitting free days to get together." First there was the paralysis thing, now this.. You know she's been kinda affected by this too, but you've honestly not been in the right headspace to worry about that too.

Clover 01/17/2019

Step one: don't overshare with the already distressed dealer. Just be chill. "Yeah," you say, leaning on the car door when you get settled inside, "she ain't been doin' too great, and she's th' last person to deserve that, bein' what an angel she is. None of us really have, but....think she's been hit deepest. Gotta do what I can to help, you know?" Instructions unclear, got dick caught in he brought it up first it's not your fault.

Dave 01/17/2019

You're quiet for longer than is usual for you. I mean you're pretty quiet these days either way, but considering you've just been rambling off, the pause is very notable. It's just. A lot to process. You love Nepeta a lot and god she's the last one you want to also be affected by this, but. 'Hit the deepest'. Yeah. Right. Hn. "'s cool. You.. got anything specific in mind? Like, there's a whole ton of plush and brand and off-brand jewelry and weird ass figurines, or are you just gonna be flooding her whole room in this stuff."

Clover 01/21/2019

"Basically just give me everything I can get, probably?"

Dave 01/21/2019

"Yyyeah alright I can work with that I guess." This is a business deal, no more and no less. Focus on that, Dave.

Clover 01/21/2019

"...You're rather lucky, you know." > You lean on the car door, and the rest is muttered under your breath, easily dismissed. "To be unaffiliated. We talked about the pain that it brings to be with both, what it feels like, how deep in hell you can get- but. When this kind of thing happens, you still pretty much answer to nobody and everybody. You still have a choice who you talk to, who you trust, who you work with. I wish I had that."

Dave 01/21/2019

You, likewise, lean against the door and look out the window. God, what wouldn't you give to just space out for a bit just now, but no, you're listening attentively, and give a dry and voiceless laugh in response. "Right, so lucky I am. Watching whatever friends I got left hurt and kill each other while I gotta play good ol Switzerland or else I'd be like, choosing sides, and stuff. But at least I can do deals with either side, get that good cash for all this junk. And hey, if I play nice enough, no one's out to hurt me, probably, minus a bit of extortion here or there yeah alright. Least I can chose not to trust anyone. Just the same old shit everyday."

Clover 01/23/2019

"Mmmm yeah 's fair enough, isn't it. Grass and greenness and all that noise, aye."

Dave 01/23/2019

You hold your breath for a moment, so many thoughts running wild in your head, but none that are good enough as an answer. You eventually let out a long drawn sigh. "Yeahh. It's like everywhere sucks." Almost as if a few assholes in this city fuck it over for everyone. Fortunately it shouldn't be too far to your office anymore.

Clover 01/23/2019

"Everywhere does suck, that's basically just Midnight City summarized." A soft huff through your nose. "It's all we can do to try to find gems in the dirt, I guess."

Dave 01/23/2019

"Ain't that the truth." You find yourself clutching your lower arm, the spot with the tattoos. Despite all... there's still some people you care about and that make you happy. They're making it worth it all.

Clover 01/23/2019

You hop out of the taxi and pull Dave's side open, humming to yourself as you offer to help him out.

Dave 01/23/2019

Not like you need help, but hey uh, if he insists. The hum reminds you to take a moment before getting out to put yourself back into a better mindset. "Alright, hope you got a van ready cause there's a lot of shit to pick up. Also bags are 10 cents each."

Clover 01/23/2019

"Can get one. I can also have 'em bring my own bags."

January 24, 2019

Dave 01/24/2019

"Eco-minded, I like that. Don't need to have plastic bags pollute the river any more."

Clover 01/24/2019

"That river gets anymore polluted and it's gonna start producing backstories for comic mutants."

Dave 01/24/2019

"Some might think it already does. Would make a good enough cover story at least."

Clover 01/24/2019

"Maybe I'll use that sometime."

January 25, 2019

Dave 01/25/2019

"I'm expecting royalties for the idea."

Clover 01/25/2019

"Your royalties are me coming to you as often as I do."

Dave 01/25/2019

"That's fair." > Well, as you talk, you're on your way inside into your stre, skipping the office room and heading right up and down some stairs into a room designated as the storage for all kinds of cutesy and mostly harmless merchandise, filled to the brim with plushies, toys, accessories of all brand and no-name variety. "Knock yourself out I guess."

Clover 01/26/2019

> Ehh you mostly just pick out a bunch of stuff and get someone to get it back to the manor with you. Not really much of note left to be had here.

Dave 01/26/2019

> Cool cool. Hella good and awkward business transaction.