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whiskeynwriting · 1 year

Note

Omg, chapter 3 was amazingggg! When could we read the next one? Already addicted

Thank you so much my lovely! I know I planned on posting chapter four at the same time as chapter three, but I wanted to work on it more. If there's one thing about me, I will not post something if I don't think it's ready!

Birds of a Feather - Chapter Four: Enticed

Nico x Female Reader

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Word Count: 7.2k

Warnings: 18+ (minors DNI)

Some angsty times, mentions of voyeurism, mentions of masturbation, grinding/dry humping, innocence kink, age gap, size difference, vaginal fingering

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A/N: Damn, these two are kinda toxic lol. Honestly tho we love it

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“Tape twenty-three, May twenty-eighth. It’s uh… about eight ‘o five am. We have an interesting day today. A class, with my most impressive students might I add. Angela, quite gifted with the cello, her voice, as well. Jude, talented on the piano – very much so. A new collection to my shelf… Ode To a Nightingale.”

He goes on, rambling briefly about his artistic thoughts and opinions.

“However, there are more pressing things to ponder. A maid, a housekeeper, a… planner? The woman, she’s coming today. Arriving at… two in the afternoon. Yes, we’re feeling… apathetic, almost. Slightly bothered – what grown man needs another to plan? My life is my own, though business is quite a frequent occurrence.”

So you did originally bother him.

“We need a list, a set order of chores she is to perform, yes… duties… also a meeting. Six pm this afternoon. A planner would do well for me. To return. End tape.”

Next.

“Tape forty-nine, June twenty-third. It is approximately eight o’clock in the morning; I’ve quite liked this new exercise. I find myself becoming more poetic these days, smelling the roses, if you will. There’s been quite the breakthrough with my students lately, no doubt due to my own influence, I’m quite proud to say.”

You roll your eyes, remembering that particular student. Veronica.

“But… her. She is still a mystery.”

Her… me?

Next.

“Tape sixty-two, July sixth. Another fine morning; I’ve woken up early, thirty minutes before the alarm. The first thing on my mind… is helplessness. It’s taken over me, truly, my fondness for her. She’s quite intriguing, much more than I’d originally expected. She’s shrewd, too, especially so for a woman of her age. I’m eager to learn more, to explore her mind…”

Your cheeks prickle with affection.

“There’s an attraction about her; we talked for hours. How could that be?”

Snooping might as well be your middle name. You never used to do this, but when it comes to him? You can’t stop yourself. It’s like it comes naturally, your curiosity for him.

You’d been organizing his office, something he didn’t ask you to do. You thought it would be a nice gesture, though; you noticed it was becoming a mess. This is when you stumbled across his tapes. It’s not your fault they somehow made it into the tape player. You’re shocked to find out so many of them are about you, his fondness for you clearly exhibited through every single one of his morning recordings. Slowly but surely, he’s become captivated by you.

Today’s tape, though, that one throws you through a loop.

“Tape seventy-two, July fourteenth, eight thirty in the morning. I slept in today, my head filled with thoughts only of her. She was so innocent that day, she is innocent always.”

The more you listen, the more brazen he becomes. And why wouldn’t he? These are his own personal diary entries.

“She must be inexperienced, the little thing.” He chuckles. “Beautiful… and pure. A glorious thing, to be untouched, unsoiled by this world. Her innocence… it will be the death of me.”

He’s fawning over you, over how inherently kind and dainty you are. And he’s right, you are inexperienced. You haven’t had anyone take you. In the past, you’ve had two boyfriends, your latest one barely making it to second base.

The way he talks about your innocence and inexperience is not demeaning, he’s not talking down to you. If it were anyone else, you think, you’d be offended. But Nicolás… he has such a way about him. He knows how to redirect his words, how to usher them into the proper setting. And you like that about him.

“How wonderful it would be, to have that feeling again.”

His words now take on a somber note, and it makes you perk up a bit more, your thoughts changing gears.

“My bed is cold at night, she would warm it nicely.”

What a sweet thought.

“Oh, to be longed for, to have your needs met by the one you truly search for.” He sighs, almost dreamily. “This is why I dream of her. She is a song, the most beautiful melody. My little bird.”

For how cocky he comes off, you never would have thought Nico was lonely. He seemed like quite a fulfilled man, and by all other accounts, he is. He’s quite happy with his life and career. And this happiness, this drive, it’s gotten him through life. But in reality, he’s lonely. His words convey the possibility of him wanting to be comforted, reassured, maybe even held. Do you have the capability to give him what he needs?

By the way he’s speaking on these tapes, a stranger would assume the relationship between the two of you has grown to new heights. But that stranger would be wrong, terribly wrong. While these tapes come off sweet and kind, like a lover speaking of their beloved, they come off differently to you. Since that night, the night Nicolás touched you, he hasn’t spoken about the event since. When his doorbell rang, he sighed, stood up, and walked away. The next day, he acted as if nothing had changed. Was he regretful? Embarrassed by his actions? Did he want to forget the entire thing? Your thoughts made you want to curl up into a ball. But if he’s feeling this way… then why hasn’t he said something?

“Is there a reason you’re in here?”

“Oh!” You spin around, hands behind your back. Lucky for you, the last tape had just ended. You’d been putting them back in their designated space each time you played them, too. So, thank the lords, everything looks to be normal.

“I was, um… I wanted to organize your office for you.”

Nico raises an eyebrow, judging your strange act. Your nervousness is quite obvious; did he just catch you in the middle of something?

“I’d rather you didn’t go through my office. It’s not on your list of chores.” He states sternly, narrowing his eyes slightly at you. How can he come off so cold when only this morning he admitted that he yearns for you?

“Yes, sir.”

That night, he told you to call him Nicolás when in private. But you haven’t since. And he notices this. It’s built a wall between the two of you, and you haven’t noticed how badly he’s taken to this small detail. In his mind, he sees it as rejection.

“Is there anything else?” He asks impatiently, raising a single eyebrow at you.

“N… no.”

There’s an uncomfortable silence between the two of you. Desperately, you long to facilitate your communication again.

“I, I had noticed a few of your records. You keep some up here?”

“Nevermind that.”

“What?”

“You wouldn't understand.”

Nico walks around the desk to his chair, eyeing your still figure. You’re standing right beside him when he sits.

“There are many mixes here, I store them so they’re not… disheveled.”

“Have I disheveled other things, sir?” It's a genuine question.

“Well, now you have.”

“I apologize.” He's silent, and his tone is condescending. It throws you off, disturbing your attraction for him.

“Your presence is not needed here.” He finally tells you, and it makes your posture stiff. His next words though, make your blood boil.

“I have seen your room,” Nico mutters to himself, “I should do better cleaning my personal space on my own.”

At this, your jaw drops open, brows furrowing in embarrassed anger. First of all, how has he seen the inside of my room? Secondly, how dare he use something so private against me!

“The privacy of my room is none of your concern!” Slightly, you raise your voice, and it makes him look up at you. “How dare you question my work ethic off of something so irrelevant. And if the cleanliness of my personal room is something that truly worries you, then perhaps it’s time I find a new job!”

For the first time in his adult life, Nico feels as though he’s been put in his place. And if this were to ever happen, he never would have expected it to be by a woman half his age. Quietly, he sits, stunned. You immediately walked out of the room, he assumes directly to your bed. Perhaps he was too hard on you.

Tears burn in your eyes from your boss’ harsh words. You feel foolish, naive, thinking that whatever happened between the two of you could possibly mean anything. Maybe he was just… aroused, looking for some kind of release. It’s clear to you now that the situation you found yourself in weeks ago wasn’t what you thought it was after all.

While you’re stewing in your room, huddled beneath your blankets while trying to calm your breaths, Nico sits in his office with a pounding head. He’s been unfair to you, in general, but especially these past few weeks. He feels selfish and immature; how can he be this age and not understand how to navigate his feelings appropriately? So many things in his life are done of his own accord; Nico is eccentric, an artist, the judgment of others has neve been of any concern to him. So, why should his relationship with you be any different?

Although your heart feels broken and used, you still have a job to do. So, after spending about an hour holed away in your room, you decide to get up again. Smoothing your hands over your skirt and adjusting your outfit, you head downstairs to clean up the living room and kitchen. It helps too, busying yourself. It takes your mind off the emotional turmoil the men in this house have caused you. Lucky for you, Daniel isn’t scheduled to come over, so you only have to deal with one temperamental man today.

You decide you’re sick of this, he can’t just use you like some toy. For so long, Nico has had you by the throat, his influence on you extremely controlling without the least bit of aggression. And honestly, you let him, you allowed him to use you in this way. At the end of the day, you’re disappointed in yourself. But now, you see Nico for who he truly is. He’s just not capable of communicating on an emotional level like that.

It’s disappointing, really; you’d imagined so many scenarios with him. In your head, he was the perfect lover. He touched you gently, spoke to you sweetly, smiled at you like you were the light of his life and held you as if he were never letting go. You’d even imagined how it would feel to have him feel your body, those big hands on your breasts, undoing your bra to feel you skin-to-skin. A specific fantasy of yours involved him running his fingers over your panties, much like how he did in the garden. Only in your head, he’d slip them to the side, sliding in one finger then two, stretching you open pleasurably for him. You’d moan and cling to him and that’s just what he would want. He’d lean in to kiss your neck while you cried out for him, leaving marks just below your neck. In the privacy of his room he’d lick them, suck on your nipples and rub your clit until you came for him. Nico would let you indulge in him, but only if he was allowed to do the same to you.

“Fuck,” You breathe out, swiping your palm over your forehead while glancing down.

“Is something wrong?”

His voice startles you, so much so that it makes you jump. But when you realize it’s him you go rigid, standing straighter while he walks into the room.

“I’m fine.” You say flatly, almost sternly.

Nico’s face is somber, though it’s clear he’s trying to hide it. His hands are in his pockets and he nods, swallowing as his eyes find interest in the oriental rug decorating his living room floor.

The way you experience his presence is so incredibly different than before. After your encounter in the garden you found yourself feeling closer to him, you still do.

“Okay, well um…” He lifts a hand, fingers gliding across his scruff. “You’re relieved of your duties for tonight.”

“Really? Why?”

“You’re upset, little bird.”

Upon hearing that nickname, you briefly close your eyes, inhaling an irritated breath. It doesn’t mean anything.

“Thank you, sir.” Is the last thing either of you says before the doorbell rings. He’s expecting his students.

Nico turns to look back, the hand that was stroking his facial hair now rubbing the back of his neck.

“Ah…” He sighs, looking back at you. It’s almost like he’s filled with regret, like he doesn’t want to leave. Did he have something more to say? “Veronica…”

Veronica, of fucking course it’s her. For some reason, your jealousy springs to an all time high. If he were going to do anything with her, now would be the time. Because now, you’re sure he has absolutely no intimate ties to you.

“Of course,” You reply casually, though you’re gritting your teeth. “Have a good night.”

With a defeated sigh, he spins around, taking a breath as he strides toward the door. When he opens it, he sees the beauty that is his current student. There’s no doubt in his mind, in anyone’s mind, that Veronica is beautiful. Her jet black hair flows down to her waist, her signature red lip a sassy little detail to her look. She always looks professional, though her clothing is particularly tight. There have been times where he’s caught her flirting with him, and while he finds himself liking the attention, it doesn’t interest him. He finds more excitement with you, well, found.

She’s excellent at the cello, Nico’s favorite instrument. She’s even mirrored some of his own tactics, the accents he puts on the musical notes and the way he handles the instrument’s bow.

“Very good,” He praises with a nod, forcing a smile onto his face as she completes her third song. “Have you been practicing at home?”

“Yes,” She grins, eyeing him. Much like you, her attraction toward Nico began shortly after meeting him.

“It shows; you’re playing quite nicely.”

“Not as nice as you do.” She returns shyly, blushing when he looks her way.

He’s a bit surprised by her comment, but just gives her a polite smile and a quick nod. Returning to the pages in front of him, he flips through them until he finds the notes he’s searching for. They track her progress, how well she’s done since coming to him. And as he’s analyzing the comments on her talents, Veronica leaves her instrument to come sit down with him. He’d been sitting across the room at a piano bench; he hasn’t played the piano in far too long. Sitting at its bench makes him feel better about his relationship with the musical artform.

Nico is suddenly snapped out of the private world within his head, not only by Veronica’s much closer presence, but by what he now sees on the page. In the top right corner he sees a red smudge in the form of pursed lips. Ice cold shock runs through his veins; he hadn’t expected to see this at all. And Veronica now sees it too, smiling even brighter than before. Leaning over, she softly places a hand on Nico’s thigh.

“I really like it here, with you.” She says quietly, brushing some hair behind her ear. “It’s calming, and you’re so kind to me.”

“Well, that’s part of my job.” He responds plainly, trying to appear casual and unphased even though her hand hasn’t left his leg.

“That’s true…” She acknowledges, nibbling on the corner of her lip. “Would you let me see what you’re like outside of your job?”

Now, Nico turns his head, furrowing his brows. “What?”

“I really like your company.”

“You’ve never been in my true company, dear.”

“That’s what I’m asking for.” She clarifies sweetly, watching Nico gulp anxiously. “I bet you’d be sweet to me outside of our lessons, too.”

She’s confident, he’ll give her that.

“I don’t think that’d be appropriate.”

“Oh,” Finally, she feels fully rejected. Leaning back, she takes her hand from his leg. “It’s just, I um, well… you’re just… an amazing artist, and composer, and I, I thought maybe you’d be interested -”

“I’m very interested.” He cuts her off. “Music is my passion, my life, and you have a clear talent for it. This is exactly why I have been nurturing your skills.” Nico informs her of this plainly, as if he were presenting a lecture on how to read music notes.

“Outside of that, I have no interest.” And this is entirely true.

Veronica feels her face burn up, embarrassed tears starting to well in her eyes. He rejected her affections, and was honestly nicer about it with her than he ever has been with you. He wonders why that is, and releases a heavy breath at the thought of it.

“I think it’s best if we ended early.”

“Wait, really?” She asks, standing when he closes his book and rises to his feet.

“Yes.” He adjusts his glasses, looking down to make sure he has all of his necessary papers. “I will contact you about the status of your next lesson.”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to come off unprofessional or, or disrespectful. I only meant to-”

“And I’ll take that into account.” He interjects, nodding sharply at her. When he interrupts her for a second time, she finally keeps her comments to herself. “I will see you out.”

Hearing the door open this early surprises you, making you perk up a bit in your seat. Tip-toeing out of the kitchen, you peer around the corner, witnessing Nico bidding goodbye to his student. But… something seems off. He’s not as warm with her as he usually is, isn’t as kind or smiley. He doesn’t touch her at all, either, not even for a hug. She looks sad, too, and a bit shaken. What happened in there?

You’re turning around just as she leaves, retreating to the kitchen before Nico can catch you looking, once again. You expect him to have his usual alone time, go up to his study or possibly sit in the living room to read. But the fancy shoes tap your way, his figure now appearing in the kitchen’s doorframe.

He’s shocked by what he sees, and you’re shocked to see him. While sitting on his kitchen counter, you’re holding a glass of red, the opened bottle sitting next to you. It’s one of his more expensive wines, and you really didn’t expect him to catch you. Besides, he thought you didn’t drink?

“¿Qué… qué haces?” (What… what are you doing?)

At first, you’re nervous, wondering if he’s mad. You did open a new bottle of wine that was no doubt expensive. But honestly, it tastes extravagant. So, you shrug, looking down into the glass.

“The devil is tempting.”

“Ah,” He raises his eyebrows solemnly, looking to the ground after you repeat his once said words. Walking into the kitchen a step or two, he’s still a few feet away, but you can feel his presence growing closer to you. “I… I know I have caused you some… distress.”

Now, it’s your turn to raise your eyebrows, nodding. But you don’t say anything. You’re not sure what to say.

“I’m sorry, Little Bird.”

“I can’t be your Little Bird one day and then no one the next.” You snap, the words coming out before you can stop them. And it surprises him.

He’s embarrassed, incredibly so. It’s about time he owns up to his actions, his mistakes.

“Es mi… inmadurez. You make me feel… uncertain.” (It is my… immaturity)

Ignoring this admission, you shake your head, looking down at your glass again. “Do you do that to every woman that comes here? Take them in your garden and… touch them like that?”

At this, his mouth opens, completely shocked. How has he allowed himself to give you this impression? How could he treat you like this for so long?

“No,” Shaking his head side to side, he takes a few more steps toward you, “No I’ve never, no…”

He’s in your space now, reaching out for you. And you let him touch you, gently holding your forearms. Looking up into those deep, brown eyes, you sigh.

“I’ve never done that with anyone… but you.” Nico’s thumbs then stroke over the backs of your hands. “I assure you, hermosa, I am not that type of man.” (Beautiful)

“You flirt with everyone.”

“I…” Jesus, he’s really not looking great here. “I know I do.”

“What is it about me? Why do you treat me like this?” You’re looking at him with sad and angry eyes, perplexed and just downright hurt at this point. “You make me feel so confused.”

“You make me feel happy.” He blurts out, looking into your eyes with genuine sensation. “It doesn’t make sense to me. I shouldn’t be attracted to someone your age.”

“Why not?”

“I… I feel it comes off… unprofessional.”

At this, you’re at a loss for words, glancing down at the glass in your hand once again. But he just grins, taking hold of your chin.

“Be that as it may…” He then whispers, tilting your head up to look at him. “I supposed I am an unprofessional man.”

The way he says it makes you feel breathless, makes your chest tighten and your hands sweaty all over again. Does he mean…

“I am attracted to you, bonita. I can’t deny that, not to you.” When you don’t respond, he speaks your name in a quiet, questioning tone. (Pretty)

“Yes, Nicolás?” You return, the words pretty and innocent.

You using his name again makes a grin pull on the corners of his lips. And although you’re having a serious conversation he can’t help but tell you, “I love how my name sounds coming from your lips.”

Grinning, you respond with, “I like saying it.”

“I want you to say it more.” Comes that low, sultry voice, moving closer between your legs.

You’re still sitting on the kitchen counter, your legs slightly spread with your knees on the edge, calves hanging over the side. And when he moves between your thighs, you let him. You like the feeling of him being close.

“I’ve been waiting for you to say it since that very day.” He admits to you, watching you set your glass down so it’s not between the two of you.

“Really?”

“I told you, hermosa, I want you to use it when we are alone.” (Beautiful)

He’s moving closer, his face mere inches away from your own. Licking his lower lip, he suddenly realizes that he’s still holding your face, and he continues to. Sweeping his thumb over your chin, he grins.

“I’m quite interested in you, sweet thing.” Warm eyes roam your face, taking in the heavenly features that make you, you. “Very much so.”

With him being so close and confessing his feelings, you feel like you can’t even breathe. But you keep your composure, because if you don’t, you’re certain you’ll never find yourself in this situation again. He’s so picky, so wishy-washy. But you don’t care. You want to make him happy.

Nicolás’ eyes meet your own, boring into them with a sense of incredible passion and need. It’s only the two of you here, you’re alone, so why does he feel like he’s being pushed to make a decision? To hurry on with his intentions? It’s because he knows if he doesn’t act soon, he’s going to lose you.

“You are a beautiful thing.” Is all he says before closing the small gap between your faces, his lips brushing over your own.

A small sound of surprise pushes its way from your throat when he kisses you, prompting him to immediately pull away. But his hand doesn’t leave. In fact, it’s joined by his other. Together, they cradle your face, those gorgeous eyes gazing down at you.

“What is it, sweet thing?” He asks, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. He’s being so sweet right now, so caring. “You don’t like?”

“No,” Shaking your head, you swallow. “I do.”

When you answer, he releases a satisfied sigh, eyes closing as he once again kisses you. This time, he fully leans in, smirking when your hands lift to the back of his neck. His lips are soft, plush, just like you’d imagined them to be. The hair above his upper lip tickles you gently, his lips sliding over your own in tender, loving swipes. And right now, his smell is the most prominent it ever has been, likely the most prominent it ever will be. Fresh and earthy, grounding.

The way he leans into you pushes you back on his countertop, one of your hands dropping from his neck to place your palm on the cool surface below. But then he pulls away, breathing heavily.

“Amor,” And you flush; he’s never called you that before. “How much have you had to drink?” (Love)

His eyes are full of worry and when he asks you this, your heart melts inside your chest. He continues, “I can taste it on you.”

“Nicolás,” You sigh out in return, the hand you have on him sliding up into his hair. “I’ve had three sips from this glass.” And as you say it, he looks down, eyeing the amount left. What you’re saying seems to be accurate. But your hands on his cheeks bring him back to the present.

“I know what I’m doing.” When you say this, he nods, eyes going soft when he feels your fingers comb through his hair. And then you ask sweetly, quietly, “Do you really want me?”

All he does is nod, his handsome face expressing a whirlwind of emotions he’s only now allowing to come to the surface. And the way he brings himself back to you is endearingly overwhelming. He allows you to bring him back in, his hands falling to your hips and taking a strong hold of them, pulling you flush against him.

The way he kisses you makes you feel like the center of the universe, like all the pieces of your life are coming together. You’ve never felt your body feel this way before, never felt yourself light up from the inside out. And when he parts your lips with his own? When he slides his tongue past them, dipping into the heat of your mouth? When his hands slide up to squeeze your waist? When you hear him moan? You utterly, wholeheartedly, and undeniably, melt into his arms.

“You sweet thing,” He gasps, forcing his lips away from you. Turning his head, he kisses your cheek, whispering sweetly, “Puedo tocarte, cariño?” (Can I touch you, sweetheart?)

All at once, you’re brought back to that evening in the garden, the excitement from that night dwarfing the sensations you’re feeling now. Lifting your hands to either side of his face, you exhale, fingertips stroking his facial hair kindly.

“What do you want to touch?” It comes out quiet, as if the bubble encasing you in this moment could pop at any second.

Grinning, Nicolás lowers himself, rubbing his nose against your neck. “Your chest, sweet thing.”

From his words alone your body is set alight, involuntarily arching into his touch. You’re so smitten with him that you find yourself at a loss for words, but he reads your signals, his left hand rising from your hip.

Your body is nearly limp, holding yourself up just enough to rest in his hold, just enough to allow him to touch you. And he does, the hand moving from your hip now sliding up your stomach, keeping contact with you until he reaches his destination.

“Oh…” Nico sighs, turning his head to look down at his hand, while still resting his temple on your shoulder.

He’s nuzzled up against you, your fingers still wandering through his luscious brown hair. His palm covers the expanse of your left breast, his fingers securing around the sweet flesh and squeezing passionately.

“May I confess something to you?” He asks, fondling you in his hand.

Nodding, you swallow anxiously. “Yes.” Inside, you’re burning bright, lungs stuttering out breaths as you work to calm yourself.

“I’ve seen what you wear underneath.” He admits freely, smiling against you. “I’ve seen your pretty, white panties. Your lacy bra…”

“Y-You have?” Pushing your body into his touch, your hips sway against his, earning a deep huff. “How?”

“The night you were gone with… Daniel. I was upstairs. Your door it was, it was open…” His words are fading out; he’s too distracted.

Lifting his chin, you bring him back to you, kissing him. “Please tell me.” You whisper over his lips, the moment feeling soft and innocent.

“I went inside.” He’s grinding against you now, shoving your skirt further up your legs as it bunches around your hips. His free hand wraps around your back, keeping you close. And then one on your breast loosens its hold, his fingers skimming over your curve to find your covered nipple. “I couldn’t help myself.”

Finding it easily, he pinches you through the fabric, choking out a quiet gasp when a small mewl leaks from your throat. “You fascinate me.”

“Really?” It comes out as a breathy stammer, your hand holding the back of his head while you roll your hips gently against him.

“Sí, por supuesto, cariño.” And then he’s kissing your face - your jawline, your cheek. (Yes, of course you do, sweetie.)

“You, you’re…” Desperately, you try to return his wonderful words, but your head is swimming with excitement and ecstasy. He pinches your nipple again, now swiping his thumb over it.

“I liked it, Little Bird.” He tells you, speaking as if he were drunk though he couldn’t be a more sober man before you. “I loved seeing your intimate things.”

“Oh,” Tipping your head back, you expose your neck, his mouth and tongue quick to worship your skin. “I love that you saw that, Nicolás.”

“I want to see it again.” It’s immediate, his words rushed and hand grabbing you fervently. “Will you let me?”

“Yes.” You’re nodding, lifting your hand from the counter so it can join the one on the back of his head.

His warm hands, the ones that already feel incredibly familiar, find the bottom edge of your top. Fingertips dipping below the edge, he sighs, making contact with your abdominal skin. It makes you shiver, his touch tickling you the slightest bit. But then they pinch the lining, lifting it off of your body. You let him do it, taking your arms away from him so he can slide it off of you completely. And just like that, you’re topless before him, the only thing keeping your naked torso from him being your bralette.

“Dios mio,” He moans, setting your top down on the space beside you. “Magnífica…” (My god, magnificent…)

You wonder how long it’s been since he’s last seen or touched a woman, and then you wonder if he’s ever laid his hands on one as young as you. It makes you smile, his reaction. Setting your hands on the counter beneath, you tilt your head, eyeing him. And after gawking at your smooth curves, he brings himself in once again.

“Nicolás…”

“Yes,” He nearly whines in response, grabbing you with both hands. “Say it, pequeña. Say my name again.” (Little one)

Unwavering is the gaze he gifts you, fingers sliding across the soft curves god has graced you with. But then he’s lowering himself, mouth kissing your skin. It forces you to drop your head back between your shoulder blades, specifically when his tongue slides out to lick them.

“Nicolás,” One hand rising, it returns to his hair, gently pulling.

He’s mouthing at your chest, tongue laying over your covered nipples and wiggling it across the barrier keeping him from your naked skin. He admires the fact that it’s pink, your feminine undergarment, the color light and girly. While obsessing over you with his mouth, he cups you, groaning when he feels you cradle the back of his head. His body is buzzing with excitement, full of energy and desire and all for you. He’s giving into every emotion he’s ever felt for you.

“Do you remember the day you went by the pool?” He asks breathily, kissing your jaw and nipping at its hinge. “The day I left? Back in the beginning of May?”

“Yes,” You’re still holding his head, fingers still curling in his hair.

Leaning further in, he lowers his voice, growling, “I saw you.”

“W-What?” Eyes widening, you’re sure he isn’t referencing what you think. “What do you mean?”

“Topless by the pool,” He then tuts, grabbing a fistful of your sweet curves in his hand. “Naughty, naughty…”

“You… you saw me?”

“I did, little one. I saw your naked chest, witnessed you touching these perky nipples.”

“Nicolás,” It comes out as a gasp, the heat in your cheeks rising.

“I loved it, sweet thing. You made me feel things…” He tells you, now mouthing at your neck. “You still do.”

You’re absolutely shocked that he saw you. It’s been weeks, and you’ve never suspected a thing. And to have him admit this to you now while kissing you, fondling you, makes the pulsations in your hips intensify through your entire being.

Lowering himself even further, he returns his mouth to you. “Hm…” Nicolás hums, closing his mouth to kiss you, sucking on the slope of one of your breasts. “Your panties…” Rising, he prompts you to lift your head, kissing you. “Are they pink, too?”

“No,” Shaking your head, you release an emotional breath. “Almost all of them are white.”

He groans, eyes rolling before they shut entirely. Such an innocent color for her to wear. His reactions continue to surprise you, watching him fall victim to your angelic form. To ease your growing grin, you nibble on the corner of your lip, gazing up at him.

“Would you like to see again?”

“Please,” Comes that deep and rumbly voice, warm eyes opening to see you. “Please let me, bonita.” (Pretty)

While looking into his eyes, you decide to be bold, taking his dominant hand away from your chest. Lowering it, he glances down, watching you guide him to your center. Already, your skirt is pushed up to your hips. All it takes is for his fingers to slide the middle of them up just a little bit, to reveal your white panties. And already, he can see the dampened spot in the center of them, the knowledge of your physical arousal making his jaw drop and eyes widen.

“Hermosa,” He breathes out, moving to cup you just like he did in the garden. (Beautiful)

“Will you do more this time?” You ask, almost desperately. “Will you touch more of me than you did in the garden?”

“I would love to.” Smiling widely, he presses his lips to your cheek, fingers rubbing over you firmly.

But you’re impatient, grabbing his face with both of your hands and bringing his mouth back to you. It covers your own, his open lips allowing his tongue to slide inside. The wet muscle explores you, distracts you, while his fingers pull your panties to the side. At first, he wonders if he’ll have to lick his fingers before putting them inside you, but he quickly finds out that won’t be the case.

“Oh, amor,” It’s expressed with passion in his tone. “You’re dripping.” (Love)

“It’s because of you,” Now, it’s your turn to move in, soft lips kissing his neck. “It’s always because of you.”

Eyes distracted by your glistening lips, he runs the tip of his pointer finger up your seam. “Always?”

“Nicolás, I’ve touched myself to the thought of you.”

“Have you?” His interest is indeed peaked, his glorious lips forming an enticing grin.

“So many times,” Using the hand on the back of his neck as leverage, you push your hips closer to him. “Please, Nicolás. Please touch me. I’ve needed it.” You feel pathetic but you don’t even care anymore, you’re deciding to fully put yourself out there. If he rejects you after this, then you’ll leave. You’ll have to. But if he doesn’t… imagine what your life could be.

Lifting his brows slightly, he’s pleased by how easily his finger is able to glide inside. And the way you release such a high moan, the way your fingers curl around his neck to pull him close, makes his heart beat for you from deep inside his chest. Agreeably, he moves closer to you, letting you pull him in.

“Nico,” You whisper, resting your forehead on him.

“Mi princesa,” It comes out of him naturally, his free hand remaining on your back to hold you against him. (My princess)

The thickness of his finger doesn’t compare to yours, it’s not even close. And there’s much more strength in his hands than you’d expected him to have, as well, evidenced by the firm drag of his digit out of your sex before he returns it to your very core.

“Yes,” You whine into his shoulder, your breathing becoming labored against him.

Turning his head, he looks down at you, finding a slow yet steady pace for his digit to pleasure you. Your eyes are closed, lips parted as your jaw hangs open, your features displaying your inner sensations.

“Look at that,” He nudges you up, the hand on your back retracting and rising to cup your face.

Lazy and lusty eyes look into his, a gasp slipping from your lips when his finger curls, rubbing against your velvety insides.

“Look at that pretty face,” Nico tells you, eyes flickering back and forth between yours. “My perfect muse.”

Collapsing into his arms, you allow him to hold you, kissing him with incredible need. He’s never made you feel so magnificent before, like a pure angel filled to the brim with beauty.

“Nicolás, yes!” Your head tilts back, knocking against the upper cabinets. Thrusting your chest out, you do your best to breathe, feeling him add a second digit.

He’s reveling in the way you’re reacting to him, watching your glorious chest rise and fall with rapture, and right before his very eyes. Already, you’re shaking, both of your dainty hands clinging to him. He’s pressing up against that squishy little spot that you yourself can barely reach, the heel of his palm rubbing against the apex of your sex. Rolling your hips onto his hand, you’re rewarded with the sound of that lovely baritone voice once again.

“Let it come,” He coos, feeling you repeatedly clench around him. “Let it wash over you.”

More than anything, he wants to experience this again with you. This and more. He’s decided how he feels, not just about you but the situation surrounding you, too. You’re his, he wants you to be his.

“Will you let me feel it, pretty thing?” He’s nudging the curve of his nose over your jaw, the action smooth and affectionate.

“Yes, Nicolás.” You promise him, hips stuttering. “Yes…”

The way his fingers rub against you is making you see stars, your mouth open and panting before him. And you’d feel incredibly vulnerable like this if he wasn’t so close to you. He’s in your space, pressing his body against yours, holding you in his arms. It’s like he’s experiencing your high with you. And just like that, the powerful waves washing through your hips and lower tummy rise to their full height, immediately crashing down on the shoreline. Your body quivers from it, hips jerking in small, rapid motions. With a firm hold, he keeps his arm wrapped around you, fingers insistent in their application of pressure on that special spot he so easily found inside you.

“Mi amor, mi bonita niña,” He’s babbling, breathing almost as harshly as you. And you’re crying out, gasping and whining as he helps you ride this out. “No te dejaré ir.” (My love, my beautiful girl. I will not let you go)

You're leaning on him just as much as he’s leaning on you, into you, your bodies finding comfort in the other’s. He’s warm and sturdy, just what you need after the emotional and physical edge he’s brought you to.

After everything you’ve gone through since meeting him, all of it leading up to this, you feel like you need him. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted, everything you yearn for in a companion. He’s artistic, divine, gentlemanly to you and doting when he needs to be. He’s refined and educated, poised in so many ways. You need him, you really do. And Nico feels the same way, breathing out his thoughts against you.

“I want you - I need you; I do.”

#Birds of a Feather #Birds of a Feather series #BoaF series #Nico #House Comes with a Bird #Nico x you #Nico x reader #Nico x female reader #Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfic

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themsource · 1 year

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Misery

I was kind of shy sharing my OC Misery but I feel that I want to now. He's pictured above with my insert OC Oreo that I've had since childhood. Oh, what to say about Misery? You've probably noticed that he looks like Sans from Undertale or better yet an Alternate Universe version. Well he looks and sounds like Sans for a reason.

If interested the explanation on him is below the cut.

Getting a bit personal Sans is a big comfort character of mine. I enjoy pairing him up with everybody from other characters to inserts, etc. I like Sans so much I can't help wanting him to be loved and get it where it's available no matter the ship or pairing. (Kinda, haven't been sold on Soriel, I really enjoy them being best buds though and I don't really want to ruin that) And yes, that means even having him share in my suffering and pain too as a kindred soul and comfort blanket.

That's where Misery comes in.

He assumes the form of Sans for the explict purpose of torturing me emotionally and easily getting me to lower my guard and get behind my defenses. He also represents how toxic and damaging the fandom (The English side - in general) has become to me, but how I can never quit it because I love it too much. Misery's name is exactly who he is. Whenever I get too happy or peaceful he rears his ugly head to stir up trouble and to *Feed*. He drinks determination and confidence out of me which in turn stains his teeth black as a sign of contamination. Coincidently his goal on making me miserable is his own form of love too.

Misery is literally the poster child of awful relationships.

Some facts I've come up with for him is the fact he's affixed to my soul so he can't be killed unless I am. He can be subdued, beaten back by others and myself in very rare moments of strength but he always comes right back. Like an addiction. Misery is addicted to my suffering and going too long without can push him to unbearable levels. (I won't clarify what that exactly means for me) He can enlarge in size, change form, travel and create my nightmares, everything and anything to damage me he's capable of doing.

His coloration is because he's mossy, covered head to toe in the stuff like a bodysuit while wearing frayed black billowy pants. You can't see it in the images provided but he does have a white handprint sprayed out in the middle of his ribs revealing white ivory bone. This is the sign of our connection. (It's my/Oreo's handprint) He uses sickly yellow energy for 'magic' similar to the color of his eyes which are stars, stars to lord over me the hope I crave but denying me it.

There was an OC 'brother' I made for him in the form of Papyrus called Bitterness to represent all the darkness and hatred inside of me but I never got around to creating him. Every time I tried I felt sick and Misery metaphorically raised his head again lol

I've been writing this simply because I wanted to share him and maybe lower the weight he has piled on my shoulders from the fear that no one cares or is interested in my stuff. (Which logically I know isn't true but since when does the heart and mind ever line up properly lol)

Um, bit of an adult topic. His love does show in physical ways (horrible awful addictive ways) which means he does 'do the do' in my mind. But not in normal ways. Try to picture Ero Guro artist Takato Yamamoto's work combined with 1982s John Carpenter's The Thing (Yes the monster's assimilation - it's not pretty at all). This is a unity of pain and pleasure to the Nth degree like the Cenobite's like to talk about lol I have reasons for why I picture this type of thing but I don't feel comfortable publicly disclosing that sorry.

Anyways, I think that's about it! If there's more I remember or if someone ever asks me questions I'll come back and edit/add it in just as I will on Deviantart where I've cross posted this.

If you read this thank you. I hope it was interesting in a way.

-M

#my ocs #misery #This as a whole is depressing #Misery is misery indeed #Don't get me wrong I love the fandom #but I got scars man

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merakiui · 3 years

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Apricity

yandere!albedo x (gender neutral) reader art credit - miHoYo cw: nsfw elements, yandere, captivity/restraints, unhealthy behaviors note - please come home to me and take care on the journey, albedo! :D also kindly heed the warnings. thank you!

His eyes are unnaturally pretty. Like twin crystals glittering in an expansive, dismal cave, searching for secrets unheard of within Mondstadt. Somehow you’re always in his peripheral, not too close and yet impossibly far at the same time. The distance is harrowing, terribly so, and Albedo knows it should be nothing short of a coincidence. When he shows up at your quaint stall with Sucrose, claiming to be in need of the exact wares you happen to sell, you pay it no mind. After all, you’ve met your fair share of regulars, and their support is what keeps you afloat.

But there is more to those beautiful irises than he lets on. Whether it’s intentional or not, you can’t exactly say. You suppose you would rather run into someone as well-respected as Albedo as opposed to an unlikable stranger with ill intent. And it’s always great to see a familiar face, especially when he chooses to peruse your stall rather the others around you. It isn’t all that strange; you’ve even become friends with Sucrose during your short interactions. Albedo has indulged in stiff conversations with you before, but most of them were meaningless. Simple throwaway chatter between two acquaintances.

Oddly enough, Albedo finds himself wanting more. He doesn’t want to talk about the weather or the transitioning seasons; he wants to listen to you explain how your day was and if you made more profit than the day before that. He wants to stand there and immerse himself in your pleasant voice, ignorant to the hustle and bustle of the people around him. And yet he just can’t. For a variety of reasons that pull him out of the haze of intrigue, you’ll always remain in the background. And he simply can’t bear the thought of that.

It’s rude to deteriorate a relationship that’s only just begun to blossom. If your meager acquaintanceship with him were to wither away into dust, he would feel obligated to keep it going—as if he were simply beating a dead cow with a stick. Although your hobbies differ from his, it’s nothing he can’t handle. A genius must familiarize himself with other areas of study if he intends to craft solutions that are outside of the box.

“Albedo?”

Your tone is meek and small, tinged with the slightest shiver. Part of him feels bad for lying to you, but you were just so trusting. It’s almost comical how easily you fell into his trap. If he gets to see you in such a delicious way all the time, he’s more than willing to forsake the truth to meet his own desires. A selfish wish, yes, but it’s absolutely wonderful.

“What is it?”

He eyes you from his spot behind the easel, and even though you can’t see him you can feel his piercing gaze. Like the sun shining brightly in a wintry afternoon, his eyes smolder with unbearable heat and yet his expression is cold with brilliant focus.

“A-Are you almost done? It’s really cold.” Your bare back touches the wall and you flinch, an instinctual response that makes Albedo’s brow quirk. “And this is sort of...weird.”

“How so?”

He says that in such a dismissive manner, acting as if your current position isn’t compromising. As if this was a normal exchange between friendly strangers. You have trouble finding your voice in this situation, especially since talking seems like such a chore. You’re worried you’ll say the wrong thing and then it’ll leave a false imprint of who you are on Albedo. But you’ve always been nice, unable to refuse those who are kind in return, and so you’re forced to endure the discomfort that comes with modeling nude for this peculiar alchemist.

“Think about it.” You distract yourself with a ramble of an explanation—certainly more than what’s necessary, but Albedo doesn’t mind. He finds solace in your voice. “You’re looking at me and I’m...n-naked. And we don’t really know each other. I’m not trying to vilify you when I say this, but I don’t want you to do anything bad to me. N-Not that you would! It’s just—this is really weird. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Hm.”

“And do I have to be tied up like this?” You shuffle in your bindings, fingers scrabbling over the cuffs and chains that jingle like horrible sleigh bells.

“You were moving too much earlier. I won’t be able to get your anatomy right if you’re constantly fidgeting.”

But it’s uncomfortable, you think, chewing on your lip out of habit.

“I guess I understand. It must be an artist thing, right?”

“You could say that.”

His work on the canvas offers a display that’s just as lewd as the real model, down to the way your nipples perk and harden in the cold. He’s not even close to finishing and that’s a blessing in itself. He could stare at your figure for hours on end, committing every inch of your flesh to memory, and he wouldn’t grow weary.

“Do artists normally blindfold their models? I don’t really know anything about this stuff, but it’s okay if it helps with the process.”

“I find it to be interesting,” he answers, simple and vague as ever. “It adds a mysterious touch to the finished piece.”

“So you draw the model with the blindfold?” You’re used to gazing upon paintings of flowers and portraits of influential historical figures rather than blatant nudity. “Artists are definitely unique.”

Albedo hums in response, secretly reveling in your naïveté. At the end of the day, you’re just a normal citizen of Mondstadt, who stands behind a wooden stall every single day and happily chats with potential customers. You excel in business, but when it comes to the inner workings of art you’re at a loss. And that makes it all the more easier for Albedo to spin all sorts of wild tales. He fears that gullible nature will harm you in the future, yet there isn’t a threat in sight. Not when you’re here in front of him, no longer confined to his peripheral. And you’ll stay there for however long it takes him to finish this painting.

It’s a twisted infatuation. Albedo knows he shouldn’t take too much of your time or else he’ll become addicted and it will be impossible to focus on his studies. But he can’t stop himself or his wandering gaze, which trails up your midriff. Higher and higher until he’s staring at your face, eyes obscured behind the soft fabric of a blindfold. Your body is a temple he wishes to worship, and perhaps that’s a sacrilegious thought that ought to have him consider the weight of his emotions.

And yet you’re far too irresistible. His thoughts are dangerously potent, swirling within his brain like a maddening hurricane. Surely your missing presence in the market won’t be questioned if he were to keep you just a little longer. Longer than the boundaries of sanity will allow, that is. There are other vendors who sell the same things you boast; the economy won’t shatter if you’re not there to provide.

The paintbrush moves along the canvas in even strokes and suddenly Albedo’s mind is wandering between subjects. From art to alchemy, love to lust, and the wondrous crevices in your anatomy that call out to him. The brush stills in his hand. If he’s not mistaken, Sucrose will be stopping by to assist him and the last thing he needs is staining his appearance in a suspicious color.

“Albedo?” His name rolls off of your tongue in such a delectable way; it’s almost sinful how his thoughts race and race in an endless track. “Are you almost done? My back is sore and the floor’s really uncomfortable.”

“Sorry. This will take longer than I thought.” He sets his brush and palette down, and you listen to his footsteps as they draw near. “Something has come up, but I promise I won’t be long.”

“Wait. You’re not going to leave me, are you? I need to get back to the marketplace!”

Before you know what’s happening, the blindfold is coming off and you’re locking eyes with Albedo, who peers at you with intense scrutiny. Certainly the look of a genius studying a textbook. You grow flustered all at once, just now coming to terms with the fact that he looked at your body for longer than you’d like to admit. Shyly, you shut your legs to obscure your private parts, but it’s not like that will help the embarrassment that claws its way onto your expression like a persistent beast.

“You’re better off waiting here.” He shrugs off his coat, draping it over your shoulders as if that’ll keep the dreadful chill away. “As much as I would like to finish this now, I have other work that must be taken care of.”

“I get that, but you can’t just leave me here! That’s practically kidnapping!” you protest, hoping he’ll heed the desperation in your trembling vocals. “At least, that’s what this feels like.”

“I wouldn’t kidnap you,” he says, amusement flashing in his eyes. “You’re too funny.”

Yet he isn’t laughing and neither are you as you helplessly watch him depart. The floor is too cold for your liking and the idea of entrapment settles under your skin like a million maggots feasting on a decaying, chilled copse. Devoid of warmth and carrying an air of measured grace, Albedo doesn’t spare you another glance.

He doesn’t need to. He’ll have all the time in the world to study your body like it’s the finest artwork, and you’ll be powerless to object.

#genshin impact #yandere genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin impact x reader #genshin impact albedo #albedo x reader #yandere albedo x reader #genshin impact albedo x reader #yandere genshin impact albedo #yandere albedo #albedo #genshin impact fanfic #he's so handsome :0 #in writing this i hope it will bless me with luck

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vindelllas · 3 years

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the beauty of shatabhisha ✨⭕️

✨elizabeth berkley: shatabisha chandra

*A MAJOR TW FOR JUST ABOUT ANYTHING!! please put your mental health first and understand that nothing online is more important than your mental state love*

please also read my post on the mythology of rahu and ketu prior to reading this. it will allow you to better understand the nature of shatabhisha:

https://vindelllas.tumblr.com/post/643640120238555137/rahu-and-ketu-in-vedic-astrology-horoscope

👄 shatabhisha lies in the heart of the aquarius rashi. aquarius, being ruled by shani, creates a beautiful juxtaposition of exotic and hypnotizing features that garner the attention of the masses. in general, they could have basic features, but it is almost as if a magnetic film adorns their body to attract the attention of others. their facial structure is typically quite chiseled. shani is said to govern the bones, so they will particularly have great bodily structure overall, especially since aquarius is said to rule the legs (particularly the lower part of the legs). they prefer to have very prominent brows, depending on their time frame, their eyebrows are either very thin (1940s-60s, 90s-00s) or quite bushy (70s, 2010s-). rahu rules the mouth, lips, and teeth. you will notice that many shatabhisha natives will have famous scenes that involve the use of their mouth. such as, sarah michelle-geller’s famous kissing scene in “cruel intentions”, alicia silverstone’s famous chewing gum scene in “clueless”, winona ryder chewing licorice in “heathers”, etc.. even shatabhisha native cindy crawford was known for her pouty lips and has her own lipstick campaign. thanks to the suggestion of the lovely @/vediclover8 on twitter, popular model khawlah al anezi, shatabhisha chandra, has very prominent lips and often takes close-up pictures with her lips being the vocal point of the photograph. according to the bible, the lips denote the interior things of a person, their internal worship, from which is adoration, it is even used to represent a prophet. in the given passage below, the prophet’s lips were touched, and, thus, his iniquity was taken away and his sin expiated. this action is representative of our interior being signified by the lips, denoting charity and its doctrine.

💋Jehovah shall smite the earth with the rod of His mouth, and with the breath of His lips shall He slay the wicked (Isa. 11:4).

✨khawlah al anezi: shatabisha chandra

💄 there is great abundance within the lips. some cultures even believe the lips of a person to be the karaka of their soul. you may tell a great deal of a person based on their lips. hence, why shatabhishas (and other rahu natives) typically obtain larger lips, or other dramatic facial features in general. they wish to transcend cosmic perfection and embody the surreal beauty that almost hurts to look at. they want to be a dream-like being. it’s not unusual for them to favor dramatic facial features, as shani bestows this naturally to his nakshatra natives. however, rahu adds this insatiable and vain desire to obtain his wishes. this insatiable need to embody the collective desire influences them to work hard to obtain what they view to be perfection. they are no stranger to plastic surgery, intense work out routines (they typically have a good respiratory system for this, as rahu is the karaka of the lungs), and makeup and skincare. think of the shatabhisha natives like rihanna who owns tu the multimillion fenty skincare and makeup company or kesha who owns kesha rose, a new makeup line.

✨alicia silverstone: shatabhisha surya

🐉 however, shatabhisha does not want to embody the male fantasy or the status quo. unlike ardra, who wants to devote themselves to their partners, and swati, who naturally embodies the male fantasy. shatabhishas attract high levels of sexual attention because they cater to their own fantasy. this is because shatabhisha is the veil that separates us from the physical and astral plane. this veil subconsciously draws in the adoration and favor of the masses. recall prince, frank sinatra, and elvis presley—who are all shatabhisha natives. they have this highly transcendental nature that transports you to a time of simplicity and deep love. the masses view shatabhishas as this ideal being, this causes many of these natives to feel a great deal of pressure and have many cyclical patterns in their shadow state. what once gave them freedom becomes an entrapment ⭕️. this is why we see these natives reach a level of despair or destruction in their lives. their rahuvian fantasy they created becomes adopted by the masses and popularized. due to the grossing popularity of the traits that once brought individuality to the shatabhisha native, it loses it’s appeal after awhile and people are left continuously craving more from them. examine the undertone shifts of shatabhisha’s music below. you will notice this freshness and unique quality to their earlier music and a dull sense of finality in their later works:

🐎 elvis presley (shatabhisha chandra): “jailhouse rock” (1957) and “blue eyes crying in the rain” (1976)

🐎 prince (shatabhisha chandra): “raspberry beret” (1985) and somebody’s somebody (1996)

🐎 THE MOST SHATABHISHA ARTIST - johnny cash (shatabhisha surya and buddha): “i walk the line” (1957) and “hurt” (2002)

✨alice pagani: shatabhisha surya

⭕️ as discussed earlier, shatabhisha is the cosmic circle. they either have the choice of remaining in this cyclical state or transcending the confines of repetition. because shatabhisha is the height of rahu, the planet of obsessions, they fall prey to many behaviors and tools that rely on addiction and fiendish behaviors. the undoing and unraveling of these natives will be because of their craving for escape from being the middle man between the astral and physical planes. this escape typically comes in the form of addiction to drugs. drugs give these natives the false illusion of breaking the cosmic cycle and finding expansion in imprisonment. prince was addicted to percocets; michael jackson (shatabisha lagna) was addicted to opioids; johnny cash was addicted to cocaine; elvis presley was addicted to opiates and codeine; even the first men to have written about the scientific usages of cocaine, amerigo vespucci had shatabhisha ketu and karl koller had shatabhisha surya and shukra. the most famous drug lord billionaire pablo escobar had shatabhisha lagna. you will also find the primary reasoning for shatabhisha’s death is drug-related. this correlates to the meaning of ouroboros.

✨samantha robinson: shatabhisha chandra

🐍 the insatiable head of rahu and the cyclical expanse of the cosmic circle itself is reminiscent of ouroboros. ouroboros is an ancient symbol depicting a serpent or dragon eating it’s own tail. this symbol originated in ancient egyptian iconography, the ouroboros entered western tradition by greek traditions and became a prominent symbol for gnosticism, alchemy, and hermeticism. the term ouroboros derives from the greek term οὐροβόρος, οὐρά means 'tail' and βορός means'-eating'. it is a symbol often interpreted as the eternal cyclic renewal or the cycle of life, death, and rebirth (themes of shatabhisha). it’s symbolism has been used to describe the kundalini. the yoga-kundalini upanishad, defines this correlation as “the divine power, kundalini, shines like the stem of a young lotus; like a snake, coiled round upon herself she holds her tail in her mouth and lies resting half asleep as the base of the body”. the shedding of a snake’s skin also symbolizes the renewal of self, the snake biting its own tail is a fertility symbol in some religions, and the tail of the snake is a phallic symbol, the mouth is a yonic or womb-like symbol. which correlates to rahu being symbolized by the mouth; shatabhisha being of the most feminine and expansive yoni: the horse yoni; and rahu’s mahavidya, chinnamasta.

✨samara weaving: shatabhisha chandra

🩸 according to the panchatantra grantha, once parvati went with her friends, dakini and varnini, to take a bath in the mandakini river. parvati was elated and enveloped with love, causing her complexion to darken. her friends became hungry and asked parvati to give them some food. parvati asked them to wait and said that she would feed them soon and began walking. soon, her friends once again asked her for food and told her that she was the mother of the universe and the children. they used this reasoning to demand that their hunger be satiated immediately. the lovely parvati laughed and with her fingernail slit her own head. the blood immediately spurted into three directions. her two friends drank the blood from two of the directions and parvati herself drank the blood from the third direction. because parvati cut off her own head, she is known as the tantric mahavidya chinnamasta. chinnamasta is said to symbolize the courageous efforts needed to make the most inconceivable sacrifice for those you love. parvati’s severed head symbolizes the liberation of shatabhisha. as a person’s individual identity is a state of conditioning or limitation, dependent on qualities, think of shatabhisha natives’ susceptibility to illusions and narcotics. the action of decapitation reveals the true maternal being of the feminine yoni that is shatabhisha. which is unconditioned, infinite, and boundlessly free. this symbolism of freedom is reinforced by the aquarius rashi (the natural eleventh house of limitless gains) and chinnamasta’s nudity. her nudity symbolizes that she cannot be covered or contained by any garment, due to her finding abundance in infinity and self-government. to chinnamasta’s left, dakini is black and, to her right, varnini is red. chinnamasta herself is white. these three colors, black, red, and white, represent the three gunas. all three gunas belong to prakriti, the principle of materiality of all nature itself. it denotes that nothing exists or is birthed without the mother (parvati). it is she who is responsible for the limitless abundance of earth and satiates her children with her warm blood, like the milk of a mother or prana.

✨winona ryder: shatabhisha chandra

*i understand that many of you do not follow me on twitter so i want to include a revised thread on shatabhisha i made recently*

🌌 shatabhisha is the nakshatra of limitless possibilities. it is symbolized by the empty circle and a thousand stars/flowers. the deity of shatabhisha is varuna, the deity of the cosmic and terrestrial water, the sky and earth. he is the mystical healer and the lord of maya (illusion). shatabhisha is the final vimshottari nakshatra of rahu. it is here, rahu is calmed by shani, as shatabhisha lies in the aquarius rashi. aquarius is the natural auspicious eleventh house of the zodiac, the house of gains and strong income. it is the house of one’s aspirations and desires. indastro says the the eleventh house is the 5th from the 7th house, which represents our desires, thus, it refers to the fulfillment or the defiance of desires, which is why it is called the house of gains. the eleventh house is also representative of your social environment. this is why shatabishas, which lies in the heart of aquarius, naturally are aware of the desires of others and help you realize what you wish to do in your lifetime. friendship is important to them and likely comes easy to them, almost to the point of obsession.

💐 in the netflix show “baby”, shatabhisha surya native alice pagani plays an underage pr*stitute who ends up befriending an “innocent” and seemingly kind girl (chiara). alice lives a life of not caring about the consequences of her actions, failing school, drinking alcohol, and being an esc*rt. chiara lives a life of craving perfection, great grades, and promise. alice’s character exposes chiara to her world of sugaring. although reluctant to the lifestyle at first, chiara begins to become obsessed with the sugar lifestyle and it becomes the only thing she wants. alice’s character starts to slowly feel trapped by that lifestyle and no longer wants to participate in those behaviors. in the movie “une fille facile”, sofia (played by shatabisha surya native zahia dehar) plays an esc*rt who stays with her innocent cousin in the summer. sofia is promiscuous, care-free, and marches to the beat of her own drum. whereas, her cousin is depicted as a nervous, intelligent, and “pure” person. sofia enjoys taunting older men and enjoying the luxuries of sugaring. her cousin idolizes her lifestyle and wants to be exactly like her, copying her style and even getting her exact same tattoo. chiara and alice pagani’s characters get matching tattoos as well (more on rahu’s tattoo symbolism below). sofia’s cousin becomes obsessed with sofia and, due to amounting circumstances, sofia can no longer take her wanton lifestyle and up and leaves her cousin.

⛓ in “baby”, we saw shatabhisha native alice exposing her friend to the world of sugaring. in “une fille facile”, sofia, another underage esc*rt, exposes her innocent cousin to the world of sugaring. in both storylines, the innocent friend becomes entrenched by the enamoring powers of such a dangerous and expansive lifestyle of shatabhisha and becomes obsessed with both them and their lifestyle. whereas, the shatabhisha natives eventually wake up and realize that the life they are living is what they no longer want. however, their friends are now completely obsessed with their newfound taste of freedom and take issue with leaving their the shatabhisha old friend’s lifestyle. the shatabhisha native ends up feeling trapped and reaches a breaking point and leaves. this is because rahu is the planet of obsession and desires. he is quickly fueled by the magnetic popularity he receives in the eleventh house, but these natives quickly feel trapped and restricted by what they once regarded as their friends.

🪞see, varuna reminds me of the esoteric meaning of the mirror, i know the mirror is said to be inherently venusian, but there is power in the vibrations of your reflection. mirrors are directly linked to the astral plane and are a neutral, but illusionary, device as well. it is all about the vibrations you put into the mirror, because you will receive it directly back. the obsession of one’s appearance and outer reflection is here in shatabhisha. until, eventually, they either embrace the ouroboros and kundalini powers of maya or snap. the limitless expansion within themselves creates this unnerving attraction and causes many individuals to crave to see the shatabhisha native they so wholeheartedly desire staring back at themselves in their reflection. it is like the expansive nature of shatabhisha causes those around them to become consumed and reborn by the shatabhisha native’s ether. it is literally like they give life (whether it is positive or negative) to people. people will resent their unbelievable beauty and carefree nature and people will then walk all over them for it. how the shatabhisha native reacts to this is entirely up to them.

🔪 some other examples of this is are shatabhisha chandra native alice silverstone as ‘cher’ in “clueless” (as suggested by @/vanillemercure on twitter). cher is depicted as a popular and upbeat teenager who has a special penchant for fashion. cher decides to makeover the new girl in school: tai. she tries to make tai into a popular, more fashionable girl. tai was originally quite impressionable and looked up to the opinions of cher. once she was made over, people began to notice her more and fawn over her beauty. this eventually goes over her head and causes her to start to neglect cher and not care about her. due to cher and tai’s fight over a boy, cher reaches a breaking point and realizes the life she truly wants to live and the love she longs for. in “cruel intentions”, shatabhisha chandra sarah michelle-gellar plays kathryn. kathryn seems like your stereotypical shallow rich girl with dark tendencies. she does not care for following the rules and lives as she pleases. she makes a seductive deal with her frenemie sebastian to see if he can take the v*rginity of the new headmaster’s daughter. only, once sebastian starts to get to the know the headmaster’s daughter, he realizes the cruelty of their wager. kathryn is outted for her terrible and harsh past and habits. her reputation (illusion/maya) is completely shattered and destroyed. winona ryder (shatabisha chandra) played ‘veronica’ in the film “heathers”. veronica is a part of the most popular clique at her high school, but she disapproves of the other girls' cruel behavior. when veronica and her new boyfriend, j.d., confront the leader of the popular clique and accidentally poison her, they make it appear a suicide. veronica realizes that j.d. is intentionally killing students he does not like. eventually, she too reaches a breaking point, after stopping j.d. from killing the whole school. she stops trying to fit in with popular clique and realizes life truly has both none and infinite meanings. the same applies to her character in the movie “girl, interrupted”. shatabisha chandra samara weaving plays ‘grace’ in “ready or not”. grace could not be happier after she marries the man of her dreams at his family's luxurious estate. however, she must hide from midnight until dawn while her new in-laws hunt her down with guns, crossbows and other weapons. grace desperately tries to survive the night and continuous comes up with clever ways to save her life. once grace survives the night, her in-laws still continue to try to kill her. however, they are unsuccessful and all attempts are ceased when they start to blow up in front of her. she laughs at their attempts, while she is covered in their blood. she has broken free from her in-laws heinous acts (the cyclical force) against her and embodied the devil himself (prying the veil between the physical and astral plane). shatabhisha is all about you reap what you sow. they are the expansive reality of maya. they are fully aware of the presence of the divine collective and the power of consciousness. they do not care about what is inherently evil or divine, as they know that life is essentially both. it transcends the need for labels. shatabhisha is rebirth and renewal. it’s obsession and transcendence. once they pass the defining stage of their life, they realize that most of the people in this world are just hollow shells bending to the will of the divine collective.

🌠 recall that the aforementioned characters are known for their independence, exactly like chinnamasta. people look to these natives and wish for them to behave as parvati, the cosmic mother. they want these shatabhisha natives to pour their essence into them to feed their uncontrollable longings. like dakini and varnini, their friends and the masses will continuously remind them of their needs and wants (recalling the eleventh house) and feel as if the shatabhisha native owes them happiness and fulfillment.

✨sarah michelle-geller: shatabhisha chandra

💉 rahu is also associated with tattoos, especially the ardra nakshatra. as ardra is the planetary intermingling of the energies of rahu and buddha. buddha, who is also known for bestowing a love for tattoos, is a friend of rahu. rahu is illusionary in nature so the natives of rahu pay great attention to their appearance. in ardra, we see the use of tattoos to simply express who they are. like ardra native margot robbie who has stated many times she enjoys tattooing smiley faces on the toes of her friends. in swati, we see them using tattoos to help reinforce their image. think of swati native adriana lima who has a curved, sharp tattoo on her left ankle. she reportedly got this tattoo during her “rebellious” years and wanted something to commemorate it. in shatabhisha, we see these natives want to adorn themselves with something that is unique and conveys who they truly are. think of erykah badu (shatabhisha surya) who infamously got “allah” tattooed in arabic on her bare shoulders. rihanna (shatabhisha surya) who got the egyptian goddess isis under her breasts to pay tribute to her grandmother and matching star tattoos on the back of her neck to match her ex. this matching tattoo phenomena is a theme of shatabhisha. remember the matching tattoos in “baby” and “une fille facile”. victoria beckham (shatabhisha shukra and brihaspati) and david beckham got the same quote tattooed for their sixth anniversary. sophie turner (shatabhisha surya and mars) and joe jonas have several matching tattoos. macaulay caulkin (shatabhisha chandra) and paris jackson (shatabhisha brihaspati) got matching spoon tattoos. this all correlates to aquarius being the house of great friendship and rahu’s inclination for foreign bodily adornment and niche subcultures, birthing a significant need for finding themselves in hidden meanings (like tattoos, ouroboros, or other occultic topics).

✨drew barrymore: shatabhisha surya

👁 in shatabhisha, you either free yourself from the demands of others and the cyclical nature of life (chinnamasta) or drown in illusion (varuna). i want to close with exploring more of the meanings of ouroboros. in norse mythology, the ouroboros appears as the serpent, named jörmungandr, one of the three children of loki and angrboda. jörmungdar grew so large that it could encircle the world and grasp its tail in its teeth. according to the legends of ragnar lodbrok, the geatish king herraud offers a small lindworm as a gift to his daughter, рora town-hart, the lindworm grows into a large serpent which encircles his daughter’s bedroom and bites itself in the tail. the serpent is then slain by ragnar lodbrok who marries the daughter. ragnar later has a son with another woman named kráka. his son is born with the image of a white snake in one eye. the snake encircled his iris and bit itself in the tail, and, thus, the son was named sigurd snake-in-the-eye. amongst the indigenous people of south america, they believe that the waters at the edge of the disc-shaped world are encircled by a snake, particularly an anaconda, biting its own tail. even in the book of leviathan, the leviathan is a singular creature with no mating partners, whose “tail is placed in its mouth". the phenomena of ouroboros even goes back as far as the poems of kalir (a hebrew poet who wrote classical verses) in the 6th-7th centuries CE. the indigenous people of south america’s emphasis of the circulation of an anaconda around the earth is reminiscent of varuna (the deity of shatabhisha). varuna is the god of the oceans like the anaconda snake who theoretically encapsulates the ocean. varuna’s vehicle is the makara (the crocodile) like the movie “lake placid vs. anaconda”, starring yancy butler (shatabhisha ketu). it is a cheesy film about a town sheriff who has to find a way to kill a gigantic crocodile and anaconda before they kill and destroy the whole town. this is the essence of the uncontrollable nature of varuna. he is a deity that believes in the equilibrium harmony between the “good” and “bad”. these descriptive adjectives do not even exist to varuna, as he is the fluidic being of ether and water. he will allow you to reach your fullest potential and guide you through your earthly desires. hence, sigurd snake-in-the-eye who was born of the earthly desire of his father to move onto another woman. the child received a snake in his eye, both symbolizing the circulatory nature of shatabhisha and rahu’s bestowment of mesmerizing and maya-like (illusionary) eyes. this is due to the eyes being reportedly a “window to the soul”. the more captivating and mesmerizing your eyes are, the more intoxicating and beautiful your soul may seem.

✨cindy crawford: shatabhisha surya

as always, i am open to any constructive criticism! i tried to touch on the appearances, manifestations, and symbolism of shatabhisha and i hope i did these hypnotizing natives justice! shatabhisha is genuinely such an expansive, captivating, and transcendental nakshatra ⭕️🐍 these natives seem to always give off a completely otherworldly presence via their exotic features and them being the cosmic veil. if you are looking for more information about shatabhisha, get to know the overrulers and supreme deities of saturn, yama (god of death) and prajapati (the creator) and rahu, durga (the goddess of power) and the serpent god. also—and i cannot stress this enough—familiarize yourself with the deity of this nakshatra: varuna. if any of my placements or information are incorrect please feel free to let me know! also, i am fully aware of the origins of vedic astrology and if i was in anyway disrespectful to hindu culture, i will take down this post immediately xx

**all of these placements were found using astrotheme/.com and/or astro-charts/.com. it is important to note that some chandra (moon) placements may be off by up to 6 degrees and lagnas (risings) as well, due to the fact that many websites do not have 100% accurate birth times for the given celebrities.

**i take absolutely no credit for the invention of vedic astrology-based appearance profiles. please watch claire nakti on youtube or look into @/cn0bles, @/lovejustlied, @/dh4nishta, and @/vanillemercure on twitter for more in-depth analysis on vedic astrology xx

#shatabhisha #vedicastrology #rahu ketu #nakshatras #astrology #aquarius #aquarius moon #aquarius aesthetic

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star1117-archives · 2 years

Text

𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐥 𝐣𝐨𝐛𝐬

➵ Genre : Crack

➵ W.C : 1148

➵ Warnings : N/A

➵ © 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝟏𝟏𝟏𝟕-𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬. Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, repost or use my work in any way, shape or form.

𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚: Teacher or Actor

Teacher:

Kindergarten teacher

Do i really need to explain myself further

He deals with 6 kids already, without a coffee-addict’s help

He seems like he’d be really good with kids

Would be the favourite teacher

Of both the students and parents

Would literally be the kindest teacher ever

Always organising fun ways to learn

Tries to connect with his students so they always have someone to talk to

Actor:

Y’all actually need an explanation for this one??

Or are you just blind

Definitely has the visuals for it too

He’s very emotional so i think he could cry on cue

Even if he was bad he’d be famous

But ofc my dude is one of the best

because hello??? it’s Seonghwa

Would probably love acting in dramas with love storylines

Just wants to tease his fans

trained with Jongho to get that Hollywood star look

𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠: Judge or Producer

Judge:

Hongjoong is the leader of ATEEZ and is a peacemaker who settles disputes between members with an unbiased viewpoint

He is very good at making the right decisions for the group

He would look hot ASF in the robe

He’s also a source of discipline for the members

Overall a very level-headed guy

Would look sexy in the robe

Probably would be known for being sarcastic during court

Or he’d be super cutthroat

tried to give mingi the death penalty for a parking ticket

Producer:

Pretty obvious point

I feel like if he couldn’t be an idol he’d still wanna work in the music industry

He’s THE KIM HONGJOONG stan talent bitches

He has such a deep love for music as well

Would probably become well-known

Wants to know artists on a personal level so he can connect with them

He’s caters to the artist’s desires but also add his own ideas/thoughts

Produces club bangers

𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨: Dancer or Doctor

Dancer:

Yh yk why

Literally so talented

easily could win competitions

would end up as a backup dancer for really popular artists/groups

like NCT SKZ maybe even BTS-level artists

might even join a dance company that tours

known for flipping a switch on stage

one minute he’s smiling and waving like the cute little bean he is

next minute he’s hip thrusting in the air that chris brown stage

taught san how to strip

Doctor:

He probably would just love helping people

He seems like someone who always gives more than he receives

always grateful when patients compliment or thank him

probably’d be a paediatrician

because he loves kids

gives them lollipops after their shots

would call them strong and brave kill me now

always has a smile on his face

sings to patients that are scared

Treated Yeosang’s burns after he made an explosion again

𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠: Engineer or Barista

Engineer:

The man has a fascination/obsession with drones

probably gets him into technology

pulls things apart to see how they work

his house is a mess of wires and nuts

mad scientist vibes

blew up his garden once

burned his eyebrows off too

woo didn’t let him live that one down

took an interest in bombs too

Barrista:

Wants to be qUiRkY

Has his own little café

super homey but also minimalistic

just feels calm and relaxing

has piano playing softly in the background

he makes the best coffee

but loads of people come to just stare at him

Man should’ve been a model

could’ve been rich and famous but just wanted a normal, quiet life

owns Seonghwa’s favourite coffee place

𝐒𝐚𝐧: Stripper or Model

Stripper:

Self-explanatory

stage demon

would literally start it as a joke/dare

realises he’s pretty decent

supports himself through his studies with it

gets a degree to pursue a job when he’s more older

probably gets scouted for modelling while being a stripper

gets plenty of tips

spends nearly all of it on snacks

super soft when he’s off-stage

Model:

Loves to walk down a runway

knows damn well he looks good in anything

does cute photoshoots a lot

does a lot for toy companies

who wouldn’t buy a plushie that looks like the one he hugged??

isn’t afraid to do underwear ads

everyone wants him to model for them

models for brands like gucci and calvin klein too

softest boi hours

or demon choi hours

helped seonghwa train for a drama he was playing a model in

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢: Underground Rapper or Bartender

Underground Rapper:

Lowkey could see him at AOMG or H1GHR

Like even after ateez i could see him becoming a solo artist tbh

spits bars periodt

hangs out at all the best clubs

is well-known in the underground scene

but also begs people to listen to his Soundcloud

frequently caught falling downstairs (DEAN PLS SKJSJKSJ)

pretends to be cool

but is just a ball of fluff

literally gives up being hardcore outside of rapping

is AOMG/H1GHR’S child and is babied 24/7

collabed with hongjoong and made golden music

Bartender:

Ngl Mingi pretty clumsy and i dont trust him with kids

So like keep him standing still as much as possible

Broke a few glasses

But it’s okay he’s cute

attracts more customers

so acc makes the bar a lot more money

gets chatted up so much-

he just giggles and smiles

pls im whipped

he lowkey can’t fucking hear now

he’s always like huh h u h HUH?

𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠: Stylist or Youtuber

Stylist:

Fashionista hello

Sassy diva

Needs everything to be perfect

Or he screams

knows all the dirt on everyone

yk that one auntie who’s all up in everybody’s business?

that’s this mf

hella talented tho

has worked with loads of idols and actors

joke-flirts with them

does makeup for model san sometimes

needs caffeine or will riot

slightly unhinged in the mental category-

YouTuber:

Reaction vids

or mukbangs

or cooking channel

or all of the above

funny af

earrape warnings at the start of his vids

screams into the mic for no reason

crunches his cereal all up in it

slurping and thumbs up to the camera

accidentally ate one of yeosang’s cookie robots

freaked out when yeosang said it could explode

dw he’s not dead…. yet

𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨: Boxer or PT

Boxer:

Strong af

could kill a mf

knows how to use his hands (yessir)

constantly working out

drinks raw eggs (cue rocky scene)

famous all over korea

makes yt videos on different exercises to do

wonho in lockdown style

has more fans on his yt channel than irl

sometimes posts pics of him in a date-like setting

forever flexing his muscles in pics

Personal Trainer:

still the strongest in korea

super expensive trainer

pt to the stars

trains all of ateez

made model san cry once during a workout

and rapper mingi too

sounds like an army general

‘harder! harder! harder! do you know what that means mingi?! it means more hard!’

high-strung af when doing classes

pretty chill outside of them

jongho: demon>angel

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yungisstar1117-writes · 3 years

Text

ATEEZ’s Non-Idol Jobs

─────────∘◦❀◦∘ ─────────

I’d like to make it clear this is fiction. This is not a realistic/fact-based representation of the guys it’s just my opinion.

Could you make one where it's like ATEEZ in a certain job or something?- @keullaesigbeogeo

Genre: Fluff, Crack

Word Count: 1.2k+

Warnings: explicit language (from me but-)

─────────∘◦❀◦∘ ─────────

Hongjoong: Judge or Producer

Okay these may sound totally random but hear me out

Judge:

Hongjoong is the leader of ATEEZ and is a peacemaker who settles disputes between members with an unbiased viewpoint

He is very good at making the right decisions for the group

He would look hot ASF in the robe

He’s also a source of discipline for the members

Overall a very level-headed guy

WOULD LOOK SEXY IN THE ROBE

Probably would be known for being sarcastic during court

Or he’d be super cutthroat

tried to give mingi the death penalty for a parking ticket

Producer:

Pretty obvious point

I feel like if he couldn’t be an idol he’d still wanna work in the music industry

He’s THE KIM HONGJOONG stan talent bitches

He has such a deep love for music as well

Would probably become well-known

Wants to know artists on a personal level so he can connect with them

He’s caters to the artist’s desires but also add his own ideas/thoughts

Produces club BANGERS

Seonghwa: Teacher or Actor

Teacher:

Kindergarten teacher

Do i really need to explain myself further

He deals with 6 kids already, without a coffee-addict’s help

He seems like he’d be really good with kids

Would be the favourite teacher

Of both the students AND parents

Would literally be the kindest teacher ever

Always organising fun ways to learn

Tries to connect with his students so they always have someone to talk to

Actor:

Y’all actually need an explanation for this one??

Or are you just blind

Definitely has the visuals for it too

He’s very emotional so i think he could cry on cue

Even if he was bad he’d be famous

But ofc my dude is one of the best

because hello??? it’s Seonghwa

Would probably love acting in dramas with love storylines

Just wants to tease his fans

trained with Jongho to get that movie star look

Yunho: Dancer or Doctor

Dancer:

Yh yk why

Literally SO TALENTED

easily could win competitions

would end up as a backup dancer for really popular artists/groups

like NCT SKZ maybe even BTS-level artists

might even join a dance company that tours

known for flipping a switch on stage

one minute he’s smiling and waving like the cute little bean he is

next minute he’s hip thrusting in the air that chris brown stage

taught san how to strip

Doctor:

He probably would just love helping people

He seems like someone who always gives more than he recieves

always grateful when patients compliment or thank him

probably’d be a paediatrician

because he loves kids

gives them lollipops after their shots

would call them strong and brave uwu kill me now

always has a smile on his face

sings to patients that are scared

Treated Yeosang’s burns after he made an explosion again

Yeosang: Engineer or Barista

Engineer:

The man has a fascination/obsession with drones

probably gets him into technology

pulls things apart to see how they work

his house is a mess of wires and nuts

mad scientist vibes

blew up his garden once

burned his eyebrows off too

woo didn’t let him live that one down

took an interest in bombs too

Barrista:

Wants to be qUiRkY

Has his own little café

super homey but also minimalistic

just feels calm and relaxing

has piano playing softly in the background

he makes the best coffee

but loads of people come to just stare at him

Man should’ve been a model

could’ve been rich and famous but just wanted a normal, quiet life

owns Seonghwa’s favourite coffee place

San: Model or Stripper

Similar ideas but shush

Stripper:

Self-explanatory

STAGE DEMON

would literally start it as a joke/dare

realises he’s pretty decent

supports himself through his studies with it

gets a degree to pursue a job when he’s more older

probably gets scouted for modelling while being a stripper

gets plenty of tips

spends nearly all of it on snacks

super soft when he’s off-stage

Model:

Loves to walk down a runway

knows damn well he looks good in anything

does cute photoshoots a lot

does a lot for toy companies

who wouldn’t buy a plushie that looks like the one he hugged??

isn’t afraid to do underwear ads

everyone wants him to model for them

models for brands like gucci and calvin klein too

softest boi hours

or demon choi hours

helped seonghwa train for a drama he was playing a model in

Mingi: Underground rapper or Bartender

Underground Rapper:

Lowkey could see him at AOMG or H1GHR

Like even after ateez i could see him becoming a solo artist tbh

spits bars periodt

hangs out at all the best clubs

is well-known in the underground scene

but also begs people to listen to his Soundcloud

frequently caught falling downstairs (DEAN PLS SKJSJKSJ)

pretends to be cool

but is just a ball of fluff

literally gives up being hardcore outside of rapping

is AOMG/H1GHR’S CHILD AND IS BABIED 24/7

collabed with hongjoong and made GOLDEN MUSIC

Bartender:

Ngl Mingi pretty clumsy and i dont trust him with kids

So like keep him standing still as much as possible

Broke a few glasses

But it’s okay he’s cute

attracts more customers

so acc makes the bar a lot more money

gets chatted up SO MUCH-

he just giggles and smiles

pls im whipped

he lowkey can’t fucking hear now

he’s always like huh h u h HUH?

Wooyoung: Stylist or YouTuber

Stylist:

Fashionista hello

Sassy diva

Needs everything to be perfect

Or he screams

knows all the dirt on everyone

yk that one auntie who’s all up in everybody’s business?

that’s this mf

hella talented tho

has worked with loads of idols and actors

joke-flirts with them

does makeup for model san sometimes

needs caffeine or will R I O T

slightly unhinged in the mental category-

YouTuber:

Reaction vids

or mukbangs

or cooking channel

or all of the above

funny af

earrape warnings at the start of his vids

screams into the mic for no reason

crunches his cereal all up in it

slurping and thumbs up to the camera

accidentally ate one of yeosang’s cookie robots

freaked out when yeosang said it could explode

dw he’s not dead.... yet

Jongho: Boxer or Personal Trainer

Boxer:

Strong af

could kill a mf

knows how to use his hands (yessir)

constantly working out

drinks raw eggs (cue rocky scene)

famous all over korea

makes yt videos on different exercises to do

wonho in lockdown style

has more fans on his yt channel than irl

sometimes posts pics of him in a date-like setting

FOREVER flexing his muscles in pics

Personal Trainer:

still the strongest in korea

super expensive trainer

pt to the stars

trains all of ateez

made model san cry once during a workout

and rapper mingi too

sounds like an army general

‘harder! harder! harder! do you know what that means mingi?! it means more hard!’

high-strung af when doing classes

pretty chill outside of them

jongho: demon>angel

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iamdorka · 4 years

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„Could I please request a 'Dating ______ would include:' bullet point headcanon for Colson, Dom and Pete respectively? I love your writing; thank you 🖤”

So here I thought about 5 random scenarios (while dating of course) and how each of them would react/behave in that case, so basically I put my own spin on this request. Hope you will like it. But I have to add that your request made me think about this type of writing, so maybe in the future I will bring you some extra writing too.

- taking couple selfies

Colson: Colson would be the type who says that he hates taking photos, but actually he loves it, especially the couple selfies, because he adores you and when you are taking a selfie of both of you and the picture turns out great, your smile is the cutest thing on Earth, he says. Of course usually it doesn’t turn out great for the first couple of times and after the 500th attempt he gets bored and starts to make fun of you, but you are always quite determined so you keep going and when there is a great photo he actually gets more in love with you, every fucking time.

Dom: Dom would love taking pictures with you. Yeah, you are an addict but he is your partner in crime in that too. Like his mind is just as crazy as yours and if something involves the two of you, that’s 100% sure that there will be photo evidence of that, probably posing like the most idiot, badass couple in the town. Your camera roll may have a few(!!!) selfies of yourself, but maybe there are even more couple selfies.

Pete: Okay… but Pete would be the absolute worst in this scenario. Like when you would take out your phone, he would be actually scared because he hates seeing himself on photos and first you didn’t really understand this and for you it was hard to accept it, as you are a photo addict, but after some time you got it. So when he was willing to join in your craziness, it was something special, you knew that and you really appreciated that. One of the cutest thing was when he returned to Instagram, after a quite long period, the first pic he posted was one of your couple selfies.

- taking care of him when he is sick

Colson: He is the worst sick person ever, like you know that if boys are sick they tend to overdramatize it but oh boy… what he usually does in the case is next level. Your friends get to used to the hangover Colson (which is also some extreme shit) but the sick Colson is even worst. Yeah… that could happen. You thank God that his immune system is quite strong, even after all those shit that he has consumed, but when he somehow gets sick you try your best the cure him because you have your limits too and sick Colson can get you closer to them very easily.

Dom: Doesn’t matter how old he is, he usually acts like a child, like in the sweetest way, especially when he is around you. So it isn’t a surprise after all that when he is sick… he turns into a child even more. He doesn’t really understand that you have to keep your distance even if you are the one taking care of him, because his neediness becomes quite strong and he is able to throw tantrums if he doesn’t get you near him. About getting the medicines in him… you wouldn’t even want to start talking, because that’s always an interesting challenge.

Pete: Pete is a quite sick, like is he has some aching parts he doesn’t even tell you about it, you usually figure it out on your own because you see something slightly has changed in his usual behavior. Of course you immediately begin to act like his nurse because you don’t like knowing that he is suffering and he does exactly everything what you ask him to do. He is the best patient ever, if you can say so, also he likes this special attention but he would never admit this to you.

- celebrating your birthday with him for the first time

Colson: Getting together with him was a quite a wild ride, and being with him pushed you out of your comfort zone in so many scenarios, so when your birthday finally arrived you weren’t even surprised that the little party which he threw you turned into the biggest house party he threw in a while and this is a big thing, because when they throw a party it’s big… but this was 10 times bigger. And everybody got the chance to get to know you, like he is the king of the gang… and that day you became his forever queen. Everybody knew, even before, that they can’s mess with you, but after this it was obvious that you are his ride and die. His girl.

Dom: The thing is he was probably even more excited about your birthday than you were, which is a pretty big thing because damn you love your birthday, it’s your own national holiday and it was quite weird for you to share this excitement with somebody else but the enthusiasm of his was so adorable. He planned a whole music festival themed birthday party for you in his garden because he knew how much you live for those events. He even spoke to some of your favorite artists and with them he made a special birthday video just for you which when appeared on the big screen made you cry like never before. He just couldn’t understand how lucky a girl you are with him by your side.

Pete: Pete likes to stay in, smoke and just eating junk food and usually you are his partner in that, but for your birthday you just wanted to do something that you don’t usually do and that’s when Pete told you that he has everything in control, you just have to follow his instructions. That’s how he took you out for a fancy sushi restaurant which was actually the best thing because damn you ate everything up there and he was so happy that he could make you this happy. And the fact that he decided to took you out, and he enjoyed it too, he who prefers to stay in 24/7 was your biggest birthday present ever, like you knew this, between you two was something really special.

- getting up to catch an early flight to the other side of the country

Colson: Even after being with him for months you still couldn’t understand how he can function with that little sleep hours he got, so when he knew that he has to be up really early he decided not even go to bed, which for him was normal, but you just didn’t want to do as him and tried to convince him to go to bed with you, sleep a bit because sleeping on a plane is never the best option but he was quite stubborn…. but you had your ways and after some time you won. That’s why after like 3 hours sleeping waking up was the cruelest thing to do but you suffered together… as always. Of course you would never admitted that those 3 hour sleep just worsened the situation and without it everything would have been better but that’s just your stubbornness which he loved.

Dom: If he sleeps 6 hours, he has way more energy than necessary, if he sleeps 8 hours or more… he has even more energy, this guy is like he is always on some kind of drug without taking it actually, so when you had to be up at 4am he somehow woke up before you and when your alarm went off you woke up for a big cup of coffee and a cute breakfast. You couldn’t even open your eyes properly but he was almost out of your apartment already.

Pete: Coming off from some mushrooms when you had to leave for the airport wasn’t your best timing ever to be honest. But at least you didn’t suffer as much as you would have otherwise. Pete has some unique ideas to soften the situations and getting high almost everytime was involved in those solutions but this time you couldn’t really decide if you regretted it or not. When time is literally an illusion for you getting somewhere in time was a quite big challenge so when you woke up on the plane, on the right plane, on your chest of your boyfriend you were quite proud of yourself.

- him cheering you up when you had a fucked up day

Colson: He knew that when you are pissed off, tired there are two options: he needs to keep his distance and give you some time to cool off first alone or be by your side and doesn’t leave your side, not for a minute. These options usually ended up in some angry making out sessions, with heavy touching, not saying a word but there were times when he just mixed everything together… he knew you well. He knew exactly when he shouldn’t even open his mouth because he just could worsen the situation… that’s when usually he turned to music. Without even saying a word, just mumbleing to his live piano playing, letting to fill the house with his ryhtm you tried to reach you… and it worked even when it didn’t.

Dom: When you needed a good laugh… you could count on your boyfriend because sure he is some funny guy, so when you hava a long day and all you wanna do is just… not to exist you are really grateful that you go home to a place where he is there. Some light hearted comedy or stand up, letting him order some food and watching him impersonating the comedians was the highlight of those days. He knows that he is funny and to be able to make your messed up day just a little bit better he would be willing to do anything, literally and figuratevly…. because when his other half is in pain, he is in too.

Pete: Staying at home, like an old couple was your go to date option, like always. But when you arrive home saying that you will never ever not even consider leaving the house because you hate everything and everybody and you stay with that idea for quite sometime he starts to worry. And when you just can’t do anything right because you break everything, everything slips out of your hand he just carefully goes to you, hugs you and takes control over everything, even your body. He leads you to the nearest bar chair in the kitchen, sits you down and makes you a sandwich and cup of your favorite tea… and doesn’t say a word, he waits until you want to talk about it. These little things are the ones what make you love him more and more everyday. Nothing big, nothing special, just simple things.

Tag list (write me if you wanna be on it❤)

@echelonwonderland @no-shxt-sherl @kissedbystrangerswaterbottle @bakerkells @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @mgk-rooklover1997 @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @southernmgkpunk @thegunnerkelly @findingmyths @painkillerash @rosesinmars @rosegoldrichie @pinksocktingz @itjustkindahappenedreally @cclynn88 @bluehairedtracii @rumoured-whispers @estxxbritt

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namjoonchronicles · 4 years

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finer arts | th

↳ genre fluff, slice of life, domestic, husband-Taehyung ↳ words 4.6k ↳ summary inspired by the Baumgartner Restoration channel on Youtube, Taehyung is written as a fine art restorer. This fic centres on the point where arts and science collide. Also, long haired Taehyung. Unedited. :’) ↳ song miley cyrus ‘when i look at you’ slowed ver.

Very soft. Taehyung’s hair, at this length, had always been soft. It’s been awhile since he told you he wanted them to grow longer, and it’s finally paying off. He looks terribly soft with bangs going just a little over his brows and poking his eyes. Gathering his hair into one apple sprout and tying it up has always been your favourite way to start the day. He was humming Frank Sinatra's in the living room as it played on the bluetooth speaker when you found him. Always so hardworking. You leaned on your side by the wall, folding your arms and watching your husband pouting at the document he was reading as his head hung low. Big round glasses sliding down the slope of his Godly carved nose he learned to hate, growing up. Parker Fountain Pen in his slender fingers, cross crossing, underlining, circling the paper in a professional manner makes you remember why you had fallen for him. Slowly, but surely.

He lifts his eyes, noticing another presence in the room, and briefly smiles before returning to his writing pad again, greeting in a deep voice, “You’re awake?”

“Yes, I am…” you nodded, indulging the view still. When he starts to repeatedly push his hair away from his face, you take off your own hairband and have him sit down on the floor, with his back leaning against the couch. And you gather his hair with your finger raking the locks gently, tying an apple sprout hair. His eyes were glued on the work he brought home.

“I take it that you’re leaving home for the studio today?” you tipped his head back, chin pointed upward, demanding his attention. He chuckles through his nose as you leaned in for a chaste kiss on the lips, where his beauty mark is and then the tip of his nose and the skin between his brows. With the chuckles alone, you knew you were right. Judging from the wrinkles on his forehead when he crosses out the plans he had, you knew that he was handling a semi large painting.

Taehyung is a fine-art conservator-restorer and because of it, his work consumes him. He treats his client’s painting like his own wife; each with their own time, loving and care. Instead of being envious towards the time he puts in them, you weigh more on the term ‘admiration’, towards his work and dedication. He truly is invested in his line of profession. It was only natural for an art lover like him to eventually become an artist himself, but after some unfortunate series of art blocks, he began to turn to conservation midway through college. You were always supportive of his aspirations. Although you don’t share the same passion for arts to actually go to a college as an art major like him, he always says you should have been an artist rather than scientist when he saw you sketch a lion behind your notes, after being frustrated about writing papers on your research.

Ever since then, you and Taehyung shared an art studio at your shared home after marriage.

“Polyurethane,” he let out a deep sigh. One word is enough.

A big part about restoration and conservation is perfection. When the previous conservator uses polyurethane as varnish, the next restorer, in this case is Taehyung, will have endless scrapings to do. Polyurethane becomes embedded in the paint, which makes most restorers emotionally frustrated. This poorly chosen varnish not only becomes a part of the paint, it makes it difficult to remove because it is scraped along with the original paint by the painter and artist. This then, leads to more restoration work because the objective of a restorer, is to… restore. Using polyurethane just adds into the time working on it. The last time he dealt with polyurethane paintings, he went home with colors drained out from his face. He spent a week on them because he needs to be extra careful to get most of the polyurethane out with minimal damage on the painting.

After the scrapings, he will have to remove the paintings from the old plywood it came with and it was glued with rabbit-skin glue which is the most tedious process, one after the other.

“When it came to the studio, I was holding my breath because the state of it... was just,” Taehyung puffed his cheek and deflated it. Where does he even start? Dented surface, skewed plywood frames, rabbit skin glue, and polyurethane varnish. The owner’s cat sat on the painting. And this painting was already fragile at this time. It was a very old painting auctioned for at least a million dollar. Taehyung almost fainted.

Right. That was how he is. When Taehyung works on a painting, any painting for that matter, of any values of any age, he is consumed by it. Giving it his all, but careful not to leave traces of him as to respect the original painter.Taehyung, as an artist, is mind blowingly authentic. He has unique perceptions towards everything he sees and he was the first few artist you knew that began with taking photographs. Actually, he was the only artist you knew all your life that was intimate enough to have this talk. Back in the days, art students don’t really mingle with science nerds due to unforeseen differences seniors claim to have. You personally were told that art students are too superficial to really want to understand the world and that they see you as a fuss in human form. You believed none of that bullshit.

You have always been the kind to look deeper than what is on the surface, always skin deep. Taehyung noticed this from the first time he laid eyes on you. There was something worth uncovering.

Just like today, when your eyes tunnels into the magnifier to see the photographed version of the painting he was supposed to restore, he gets giddy at the fact that his wife, his forever girlfriend takes so much interest in so many things and is well-versed in all kinds of art despite not being a member of the field. It was at moments like these that he relentlessly wonders why you never considered to seriously take art degrees just like your science stuff.

“Looks flaky, and the dent is so deep…” you commented, craning your neck on his desk as he watches fondly from the side, “You’ll have to patch it up and sew it together…”

The smile melts away and he averted his eyes, tapping his index finger on his knee at the same time. By his demeanor alone, you know that he dislikes this. The work just keeps piling on, and more and more of the original paint is lost. Like a wet on wet painting work, that keeps bleeding color, the painting will have more of Taehyung than it would of its owner. Taehyung let out a sigh you understood so well. You leave the painting’s print on the table with the magnifying glass set away on the corner with the rest of his tools. You bring yourself next to him and put your arm around his neck and the other palm rests on one side of his face, sliding down his chiseled jaws and thumb, tracing his lips. His cologne swims around your nostril, and the smell of his hair that you love, engulfs you. He gathers his arms around your waist, rests his head under your chin and stays like that as long as you both need.

He will be away for long and intimacy of such degree would be difficult to execute. Long tiring week ahead will make you drift you both apart, only to hopefully meet each other like the first time again.

You remember the first time you laid your eyes on Kim Taehyung. He was helping the waitress picking the pieces of fallen tissues after a minor accident. He looked like he walked out of someone’s innate dream. Clean-shaven, dark brown comma hair, boring a dark brown suit and pants to match. The selfless act was something intriguing to you. It’s so rare to find someone who would take the time to help others in such a fast-paced era where everything has to be quick and perfect. You remember turning away and smiling to yourself, grateful that there’s such men still in the world. You never planned to find any attachments that night, it was just a casual formal gathering that you had to attend in order to remain in the social circle. You actually wanted to leave after thirty minutes, and probably watch a late night movie at a nearby movie theatre to appease yourself.

A drink in your hand, a small talk about how good the eclairs were, and a little bit about your short-term plans; apart from that, there was nothing much. You were never the kind to approach people first, finding more interest in the food than you do the people attending. But not your best friend, not Jimin. He is the loudest, most animatic figure out there, talking about all kinds of things, doing a lot of gags and just, a walking entertainment channel, with his addictive laughter and outgoing personality. Jimin would make friends with a broomstick if it attended. It was because of him that you were dragged into this little dinner party. He said if you come, he will join your presentation that he called boring and asked relevant questions. After careful consideration, and losing a couple of friends because of your hectic college schedule, you had no choice but adhere to his demands.

“Hi,” a succulent honeyed deep voice greeted you from behind, “Where did you get those jelly desserts?”

You glanced at him and when you recognised that he was that dude who helped the waitress, you shot your eyes back to your plate instantly, then jerked your head back up, “From the dessert corner, next to the pillar… I think they haven’t refilled them,” you said to him through a smile. Wow, he was so much taller than you expected. And, smells so nice.

“Oh thank you,” he tutted his tongue and nodded once, before he walked away grinning, “Over there right?” He walks sideways to talk to you still. He almost trips over the folded carpet and you got instantly worried before replying in a haste, “Yes! Oh careful, please!”

He gave an okay sign and puffed his cheeks.

Finding the back of your calves began to strain from the long period of standings, you had to find yourself a bar stool and ate your food alone, while Jimin was throwing his head back at a joke one of his new friends were telling. Someone took the empty seat next to you and sat with a huff.

“We already met twice and I still don’t know your name,” he peels his eyes off of his plate and turns sideways to you, “I’m Taehyung, Kim Taehyung.” You said your name in a hurry with an awkward giggle at the end, before poking your fork into the grapes and shoving them into your mouth.

“Did you come here alone?” he asked. “No, but he looks like he is having fun,” you didn’t specify who it was and Taehyung hung his head low with a dry, “Oh.” “You?” you replied. “Alone,” Taehyung said, “Didn’t plan to stay very long…I was going to catch a movie.”

Your eyes light up, “What movie? Because I’m not staying too!” Taehyung pouts, “Haven’t decided… I was going to decide there and then.”

“It’s nice to watch movies alone ha…” “Helps me recharge…” “What major are you? We’re from the same uni, correct?” “I am. I am an art major, and now more to restoration and conservator.” “Oooo, interesting… Meticulous work. That’s amazing.”

Taehyung then learns that you’re a science major, pharmaceutical technology. It sounded foreign to him, he had never known anyone with a science major, let alone talk to one. They always seem so…

“Fussy? Introverted? Closed up?” you listed. He shakes his head, jutting his lower lip out trying to think of a better adjective to describe, shooting his eyes to the ceiling then to the right. “Guarded,” Taehyung tipped his head to the side, looking at you as he spoke. “I get why we seemed that way,” you swirled your fork around the plate of spaghetti you took and nodded in agreement, “But we’re probably thinking about our gazillion unfinished reports and stressed out about why the results aren’t tally, and forgetting our breakfast, lunch and dinner, being high on caffeine…” you shrugged your shoulder, explaining.

“Doesn’t seem like a healthy way to live,” Taehyung commented, “But I understand the struggle.”

Discussing about the stereotypes, the polar opposites of a science versus art majors lasted longer than you expected. Art majors and science majors actually share more in common than you’d think. For starters, both are extremely meticulous and precise. Taehyung spoke about the specification of colours and blending of several techniques into one art requires an extensive studies of observations and practice. As a conservator, he must recognise personalized styles of close to thousands of painters to differentiate a genuine piece from a copy--a skill that would take years and decades to perfect.

For science, specifics come in the definition of science. There has to be hypotheses to be proven, and theories that aligned with the results. Making medication has several strict rules; and the process, the testing are endless. From the drug is being formulated, to the way it is processed, and how it reacts when it enters the human body, to how long it takes to be expelled and whatever happened in between must be noted. Uniformity, size particles, bottling, storage, etc. are all taken into custody when it comes to making drugs. You told Taehyung about the exhausting 48 sets of 100mL volumetric flask being used in order to determine the complete dissolution of 100mG of paracetamol.

“I get cross-eyed having to stare at the mark, trying not to make mistakes,” you smiled and Taehyung giggled. “I understand about getting cross-eyed,” he added. He continues about having to re-color a varnished painting with a limited set of light in the studio, and not being able to determine what pigment it was until daylight reveals that he was wrong.

“I think art and science are two things humans can’t live without,” you started, looking down at your semi empty plate, “I mean, life depends on science, but art is what makes it worth living.” “Rebecca Atwood,” Taehyung cited. Then you both looked at each other for what seemed the longest time, as if you both had found home in each other.

Your heart clearly whispered, “Where have you been all my life?” And for a period of time, you actually believed it was one-sided. How could someone like Taehyung want to spend time with you. But you guys eventually went to the movies together.

Jimin called midway through the movie. You excused yourself and took the call outside the hall.

“Yo, where art thou? The party’s over, don’t tell me you went home without me,” Jimin nags.

“I’m at the movies, I’ll get the Uber, don’t worry,” you hissed, “No, Jimin, I’m going to be fine. It’s not that late, I’ll call you when I get home. Yes, I know there’s class tomorrow at 2pm, alright bye,” you hang up and rush back inside.

Taehyung looks at you with wondering eyes and you felt inclined to explain, “Jimin. Asked me where I was, and wanted to go home. I said I’ll take the Uber.”

“Uber? No, I can drive you home,” Taehyung offered. You don’t think you should be in a car with someone you barely know so you politely declined. Taehyung however, waited with you for the Uber, and waved you goodbye. He didn’t ask for your number, much to your disappointment. But maybe it was a one night thing for him. It’s not like you expected anything, so why do you carry yourself heavily to your dorm?

It was rare to find someone you could connect to in such a short time. Tonight was a miracle at work, and it was short lifted. Laying down in your bed with the light from your phone shone over your face, you scrolled down Instagram to see your married highschool friend cradling babies. Another friend just got married. Another is half a world away. A few are taking pictures of cute dates they went on. And then there’s you, who is now staring at each one filled with envy and discontent, wondering if anyone will ever find the time to notice you and hopefully fall for you. Deep inside, all you ever wanted was to be in love. Despite you plunge yourself into heavy work in the most strenuous field out there, you were inexplicably lonely. It gets increasingly difficult as you grow older, and your options for men decreases.

They say, everyone has a soulmate. But for some reason, you think God forgot to make yours. Real connection is possibly impossible to find. The love you seek probably doesn’t exist.

And as you turn your phone face down next to you, it vibrated a message in.

Jimin: Are you home yet? Hello? Jimin: So you found Kim Taehyung? From arts? Jimin: He texted me the Uber car’s plate number to make sure I know where you are…

You replied,

You: yes.. You: you know taehyung??

Jimin: uh yeah. Orientation week together. Campmates. Jimin: how was it? You: he was nice… Jimin: You cold-blooded women. You: XD

The next day was your presentation. After spotting Jimin in the crowd, you immediately felt better. Some familiar faces would be nice. Final year project presentations can be brutal. Some of the questions you expected would be the purpose, the motive, the need for this project to be funded and why it carries such significance. Sometimes what you expect doesn't happen, and because of that you get very disheartened and disappointed. No matter how brave you decide to be, your body protests and rebels against your wishes. The way the bottle tremble in your hands shows how much this is hammering your dignity. It is as if you expected to be humiliated. You glanced down to your heavily arrowed notes and scribbles, closing your eyes as you stood in the back stage, mentally preparing yourself. How to be bulletproof?

Had he not helped the girl to purchase a canned coffee from the vending machine, he would not have been late, Taehyung thought. Now he creeps in the back of the lecture hall, carrying his own opened canned drink. There was an extra unopened canned coffee drink he snuck in. You had already started your presentations. Does he have the mental capacity for this new information? Of course. There were a few terms he wasn’t familiar with, but it was not enough to bore him. Your simpler explanation the night you met actually helped a lot. The oozing charisma you carry and the calm way you carry yourself was something worth looking up to. It was the kind that he actually envied about you. He had a feeling that you weren’t showing all parts of you and because of that, he was intrigued. Even as he sat there as an audience, completely at awe of your presentation, you were magnetic.

Not a single one person in that auditorium was paying their attention elsewhere. Being able to draw such dedication and passion is a talent. And it was all Kim Taehyung wished he could do.

“With all the existing medication with the same purpose, what good would a research in the same area pose? A renewal?” “And what about the gene-specific cancer studies that are already initiated since 2004? Haven’t we spent enough on that?” “What about the ethical issues surrounding the existing CRISPR, the so-called genetic-specific medications?”

The questions from the PhD holders you presented were all valid. You agreed.

“As a scientist, we understand that our research will continue far after our death. Many researches are done without a clear view of where the finish line is. If we want to talk about ethical issues regarding gene modifications, we have done them on all the things we could consume, grow and breed. If we have the power to prevent abnormality before it becomes one, why do we second guess ourselves? Isn’t the purpose of science to better understand, and then to prevent? To create a better living?”

The room fell into a deathly silence, and you were inclined to go back to your statements but when you dragged your eyes to the corner of the room, you saw some juniors nodding in agreement to what you’ve just said, you regained a little ounce of confidence. “But we haven’t truly understood the after effects of gene modifications. And through all prolonged research thus far, it doesn’t suggest a good result. How do you guarantee a perceptible study in the development of the medication you’re proposing?”

. . . Sniffles greeted Taehyung at the door he pushed opened gently. You were standing by the handrails on the faculty’s rooftop, the papers you brought in scattered around the ground. Some are drained into the pool of water puddle from last night’s rain. Digging the heels of your palm into your eyes, you heard the door creaked open and jumped.

“I’m sorry…” Taehyung whispered. You glanced over your shoulder at him and then turned away. Not because of anger or fear, but from shame. You have never shown anyone this timid side of you. You’re always expected to be strong, and you took that mask on literally. Having someone witnessing your vulnerability is as foreign as the sight of a shooting star. How unlucky for Taehyung, you thought.

“I bought you…” he placed the canned drink on the ground, next to where you placed your backpack, “A canned coffee.”

“How did you,” you sniffed, “How did you know that the presentations’ today?” “You told me the night we met?” he answered, in a confused tone.

And you gave him a lopsided smile, “Oh right. I’m not used to people remembering my errands. Jimin never does. No one ever does.”

“I am not actually good at remembering. But for some reason, yours was unforgettable,” he added an awkward chuckle at the end, scratching the back of his head not sure why he finds conversation with you feel homey. Sincerity and honesty comes naturally like breathing the air in.

“I did a crap job at presenting, didn’t I?” it was a statement, pretentiously laid out as a question.

But Taehyung knew better than to cement the depressive thought. Then he scooted near to you, and coil to your side, to give you a puppy eyed bright smile.

That was when you first knew a Kim Taehyung. Everything else that happened after that seemed like a story written just for you. But loving Kim Taehyung didn’t come without challenges. When you love a man as attractive as that, there will be wandering eyes directed towards him. And you have your own fair share of evil eyes directed at you. How can a science nerd catch the attention of an art student? It was totally unheard off. Had Taehyung paid any attention to those thirsty hyenas, you would have given up the fight. However, this is Taehyung you’re talking about. Once he had his eyes set to a person, he developed tunnel vision only to that person.

For years, you struggled with perfection. And the thing about the struggle is that it was common to everyone, but so few would understand. Perfection quickly becomes a disease to over-achievers. Had it not been Taehyung, you would probably engage in an insufferable discontentment towards life and everything it has to offer. Everything changed when he handed you a paint brush and a 200-sized plain white canvas and a studio to yourself.

You felt liberated.

Not knowing where your illustrations will take you was the first taste of freedom you had ever allowed yourself to feel. Because in the arts, there are no wrongs or rights. And it's uniquely yours. And the look on Taehyung’s face when it's done? Priceless. To the point that you think you began drawing because of him and that he was just saying the things you wanted to hear. Then he hangs your drawings in the open hall, and brings home the comments written by the art lovers to prove that you are wrong.

When it comes to relationship turbulences, Taehyung and you personally respect each other’s space, friendship choices and principles. Such maturity is again rare so you’d like to think that you’re lucky in that sense. However, Taehyung’s family proved to be a massive hurdle. While you were raised in a humble home, and accustomed to having sleep as dinners, Taehyung’s family owns a collection of farms that produces vegetables and fruits, and Taehyung’s favourites happen to be strawberries. He surely is raised in an upper middle class well into his elementary years and then catapulted into first class around his high school time. Not to say that he doesn’t know what it’s like to starve, he has a fairshare of that in his rebellious years; but he was not used to the life you lead. The part-time jobs, the tutoring weekends, the errands. He never had to do those.

When he brought you home to his parents for the first time, you felt out of place. His penthouse, his army of maids, sports cars and spacious area. His parents, they were wonderful. They welcomed you with open arms. Even inviting you to a family-only event, introducing you to everyone, and then letting you see their family photo albums. Taehyung has a massive support system, a healthy relationship compared to yours. No matter how much he wants to convince you that his life isn’t perfect, it was a whole lot better than yours. You remember how he snuck you into his bedroom in the middle of the night when his parents were asleep, the snickering, the whispers and the night you shared, cuddling. You had tears in your eyes that night, because you never thought you’d be this fortunate.

Watching him fall asleep in your lap so soundly really made you think about the last time you ever made someone this comfortable. Is this how it feels to love and cherish? Finding a middle ground is not always easy, and most people take time to reach there. For Taehyung and you, sacrificing a lot comes without say. Your internal conflicts and his willingness to understand your perspective, and vice versa--it all takes time. You can owe it all to Taehyung’s ultimate patience. Just like the way he handles his work. Meticulously, and carefully. Like how chemicals are precise, the paints are too.

In every phase of life, we are being prepared for the phase that comes next. In accordance to what we are made of, we continue to evolve, continue to grow. And it is in this stage that we feel most vulnerable, most bare, most uncomfortable. Sometimes you dread the things that you weren’t allowed to have, much like the doctorate you sought after (that took much longer than others), the way it was withheld from you because life said you weren’t ready yet, even when you thought you were. Waiting patiently becomes the hardest part of it all. Although Taehyung might not understand half the things you went through, isn't he still here? Isn’t he still holding your hand? Isn’t he still singing to you?

Fine arts are creative art, especially visual art whose products are to be appreciated primarily or solely for their imaginative, aesthetic, or intellectual content. If that’s the case, then Taehyung must be finer arts.

:. I wrote a bit about the things I do in university, I’m sorry if you find that boring... it’s the only world I know... I am currently going through mid-semester exams, and I’m not doing well, spark up a fever with 3 more papers to go. Anyways. Have a great day!

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13uswntimagines · 4 years

Text

Learning to Love (Preath x Adopted Teen!Reader)

Request: could you do something where christen and Tobin adopt teenage r whose been through a lot and shows her how to accept love or something fluffy and angsty like that

Pt 2

Author’s Note: So this was really difficult for me to write for some reason. it’s also super long, but I wanted to include several learning moments. I’m going to put a warning on this for mentions of abuse, but nothing graphic. I hope you enjoy this! Send me Requests, Questions, or if you just wanna say Hi! Let me know what you think, your comments mean the world to me.

You woke with a start, a cold sweat covering your entire body, your breathing heavy, and your brain trying to remember where you were. You clutched at the old hoodie you were wearing, pulling the collar to your nose and breathing in Tobin’s soothing scent.

You had stolen the Thorns sweater awhile ago and never given it back. You found comfort in one of the several items that had become your own the 8 months that you had been with the women.

You had immediately clicked with Tobin. Her overall laid back demeanor had set you at ease. Your mutual love of art always gave you talking points, whenever you actually felt like talking. But she never pushed, she was just as comfortable in silence as she was when you were conversing about art.

It had taken you a little longer to become comfortable around Christen. She was the observant one. The one who always knew when you weren’t telling them the whole truth. The one who always pressed you to explain why you felt the way that you did, and at first that had unnerved you. She wasn’t pushy, but she had a way of getting you to open up that terrified you.

You were like Tobin in the fact that you were never very good with words. You didn’t know how to articulate your feelings verbally, and the more… positive emotions confused you. Your parents had both been drug addicts, more interested in their respective highs than your actual wellbeing, or teaching you what affection was. You had only been removed from the home after your mother had tried to sell you to an undercover cop in exchange for drugs. You had spent the next 10 years bouncing around through the foster system, with each home only building on the scars that the last had left behind.

Then by some miracle, you had met Christen and Tobin, who seemed determined to teach you about the happier emotions. The emotions that you didn’t understand. Hell, you had nearly jumped out of your skin the first time one of them tried to touch you. The going was slow, but it wasn’t in their nature to give up.

You glanced at the clock, sighing at the blinking 4:40 that you found there. It was too early to be up, but you didn’t know if you could go back to sleep after your dream (memory?). You sighed, sliding out of bed and heading for the one room in the apartment that you knew could help you. The room that both women had made sure you knew was open 24/7 the moment they found out about your propensity for art.

You were so engrossed in your project that you didn’t hear the door to Tobin’s studio open. She looked you over from the door, watching as you traced one of her canvases with a dark charcoal color. The painting before you was striking. A perfect rendition of a man's face over a cowering form. The only happy portion of the canvass was a warm red in the distance.

“Hey kid, what ya up to?” She asked quietly, don’t her best not to startle you. You jumped anyway, dropping the paintbrush with a loud crash.

“I’m sorry I- I-I didn’t…” you stuttered turning to face her, your cheeks very red. She held up a hand to stop you. She wanted to say that this response was unusual, but it wasn’t. Your go-to was to immediately apologize for whatever.

“Slow down kid, we told you that you could use this room whenever you wanted,” She soothed, moving to stand beside you and rubbing soothing circles on your back. Your shoulders relaxed, and your gaze returned to your masterpiece.

“Okay,” You breathed out.

“It’s really good,” She said in awe, taking in the detail of the piece. Your lips twitched up slightly, and Tobin was glad you didn’t try and fight her on it. You weren’t used to complements without strings, and they were still teaching you to accept them.

“Thanks, I couldn’t get it out of my head,” You mumbled, biting your lip, shaking your head slightly. You ran a hand through your hair, and Tobin resisted the urge to laugh when a red paint line followed the path of your hand.

“Nightmare?” She questioned as casually as she could. Yes, she had read your file, but she wanted to hear about your experiences from you when you were ready. So far the only thing you had told them was that the man you kept drawing was father number 4.

“Mmm,” You hummed back, tilting your head to the side.

“You know you can always come to get me or Chris if you’re too scared to go back to sleep,” Tobin asked for what probably was the millionth time. You gave her a slight nod. People always said that but the moment you started asking for things, the moment you became more work than what you were worth, they would throw you away.

There was a beat of silence between the two of you, and you felt the urge to finally tell her more about the painting. About why he was always so much bigger than you. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, trying to find the right words. Tobin shot you an encouraging smile.

“Hey, you two breakfast-“Christen’s voice called out before you could divulge any secretes, before cutting itself off “whoa baby this is fantastic,” She said the second she saw the painting.

You pulled your lips into a tight line and nodded your thanks, grabbing her hand and pulling her into a hug. You buried your face in her shoulder, taking in gulps of her scent, allowing it to soothe you. She wound her arms tighter around you, running careful fingers through your hair.

You had taken a long time to warm up to her, but you loved her cuddles, and this was a typical good morning gesture after a hard night.

“Can I ask you a question?” Christen questioned softly, her and Tobin’s hands running circles on you back.

“Hmmm,” was your only response to her, not willing to leave your new favorite hiding spot yet.

“You’ve told us about this part, but what’s this?” She asked, pointing to the bright spot that was a new addition to the image the women had become very familiar with. You had known this part was coming. It was part of your therapy, to explain some parts of the painting to them. It was difficult, but in the end, it helped. It made everything a little less scary.

You but your lip in thought. Truth be told, you weren’t sure what the bright light was.

“It’s-, I’m always trying to get to it. I know that whatever’s behind the door is… safe? That’s not the word, it’s more than that it’s… I don’t know how to explain it,” you stuttered out, furrowing your eyebrows in concentration. You were good at naming the negative emotions, but oftentimes the happy ones evaded you.“I don’t know what’s behind it, only that I need it,”

“That’s ok baby, wanna come eat some pancakes?” Christen sent you a blinding smile, and Tobin Laughed as your face lit up. You loved pancakes.

“Can I finish it?” You asked hesitantly. You hated leaving things half-done.

“Yeah baby, come find us when you’re done,” Tobin nodded, patting your back before they both took their leave.

You watched them go. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but you knew they cared for you in a way you had never experienced before.

****

Camp was an… experience, and meeting so many new people was frightening, but Tobin and Christen had kept their promise to always protect you. The team had been understanding about your aversion to touch and never pressured you to join in their shenanigans. They also gave you more people to draw.

You sighed leaning back against the bench that was acting as your backrest, pulling your knees closer to your chest and digging your feet into the grass of the practice field. You rested the black sketchbook that had always been your companion on your knees, bringing it closer to your face. You held your pencil between your teeth, your eyes flicking between the fine lines sketched on the page and the two women who were depicted. You were sure that the realistic picture was almost done, but something was missing. Something you couldn’t put your finger on.

“What ya go there kiddo,” Christen asked, stopping several feet away from you and gesturing to the space beside you. You sent her a careful nod, and she sat down a few feet away from you on the turf.

That was one thing that you appreciated about the women, they always came down to your level to make you feel more comfortable.

“It’s Becky and Alyssa, but something’s not right,” You mumbled, scooting closer to the woman, who smiled softly at you.

“I’m not a sketch artist, but I could check it out if you want,” She offered, bringing her hand up to rub your back. Her smile widened when you didn’t immediately flinch away at the contact.

It was a slow process, but little by little they were showing you how nice human touch could be. You loved morning cuddles, but you only liked touches that you initiated. You bit your lip in thought and sent the woman a very tiny nod, before carefully sliding over the book. A small gasp left her lips when eyes landed in the pencil sketch.

“This is incredible,” Christen said in awe, her fingers running lightly over the near-perfect replicas of her teammates. You shrugged, your eyebrows furrowing.

“Something’s missing, but I don’t know what. Like it doesn’t feel right,” You murmured, glaring at the sketch in frustration. The picture was missing the key element that would make it come to life on the page. You didn’t know what it was, so how could you add it?

Christen glanced up at you. You rested your chin on your knees, hugging your legs, knowing that there would be no way of completely getting out of this conversation. You didn’t typically bring up your feelings, and Christen wasn’t one to let that go.

“Why doesn’t it feel right?” She questioned softly, bringing her hand up to gently smooth out the wrinkles in your forehead, and run her thumb down your cheek. You sighed and tilted your head into her hand just slightly.

“It’s just…” you stuttered, trying to find the words to describe the women. It wasn’t just one thing. It was how their bodies always seemed connected, even from across the field. How their eyes always seemed to be on each other. How they touched each other with such care. “The way they’re so… drawn to each other.” You finished after a few seconds, shaking your head. It was so much more than that. It was an extremely deep connection that went beyond simple care. “I don’t understand how…” You trailed off, pinching your space between your eyes.

Your sketch was missing the connection between the two. The ease they clearly felt with each other. The amount they… cared.

“They love each other,” Christen responded gently, watching your reaction very carefully. Your lips formed an even tighter line. Your childhood had shown you that love didn’t exist, but the thing between the women was so defined. So alive and vivid. Could it be love?

“Hmm,” you hummed, pulling the book back towards you, scratching behind your ear. Maybe it was love.

Tobin watched you from afar, her lips quirking up at how well you were doing with Chris.

“She’s a little shy, but she seems to be doing ok with all of us,” Ash mumbled, standing beside her and watching your interaction.

“Kid has had it rough,” Tobin husked out. How someone could treat a child the way you were treated, she would never understand. Hell, you had been removed from one of the foster homes for suspected poisoning, and you were petrified to eat anything you didn’t open yourself. Your file was as almost as tall as a toddler, and she wondered how you had slipped through the system for so long.

“We don’t doubt that,” Ali said gently, rubbing Tobin’s shoulder in a soothing fashions

“She seems pretty close to Chris though,” Ashlyn smiled when you leaned into Christen’s hand, the comfort you took from the contact obvious from the look on your face.

“Sometimes,” Tobin shrugged. It was odd. There were moments where you were completely open with them, and then two seconds later you would throw all your wall up again.

“She draws a lot,” Kelley pointed out, joining the three women in their observation of you.

“It’s the only way she knows how to express herself,” Tobin hummed shrugging.

“That’s not surprising,” Kelley said, and all the women turned to look at her.

“she was probably punished for showing any emotions at all,” Ash added with a thoughtful look on her face, and Tobin nodded. She had seen the scars, both physical and mental. Though you hadn’t unpacked them all with them, it would be impossible to hide the marks that would be with you for the rest of your life. It was also something your therapist had told them both in the beginning.

“All I know is that it gives us a way to start that conversation without making her too uncomfortable” Tobin shrugged. It was true, you wouldn’t tell them what was bothering you until it was drawn on a page. It was your process and that was ok. They were showing you that feelings were ok. “She’s come a hell of a long way,”

****

Your eyes traced the faces sketched upon the page, your eyebrows furrowing because there was something yet again missing. Your dinner sat untouched on the plate in front of you, as you were far too focused on your drawing of the two blond women.

You felt the presence behind you before you saw her, and you didn’t mind. Yes, Emily was a little hyper, but she was funny and sweet, and you had known her and Lindsey longer than you had known most of the other women. You had gotten to know them on the many times you had accompanied you m-. Tobin. The many times you had accompanied Tobin to practice. The same went for Kelley.

“Holy shit! Tobs was right, you do have some skill!” She exclaimed, placing two hands on your shoulders. You jumped at the contact, squeezing your eyes shut, dropping your sketchbook on the table with a thump. The noise lost in the general chatter in the room (though Tobin and Christen did send you a worried look from where they were talking with Alex and Kelley.)

“Disonny, remember we had this talk?” Lindsey said as she appeared on your other side, sending Emily a disdainful look. The women knew that you didn’t like surprise touches, it was one of the many rules that Tobin and Chris had given them.

“Oh, right. Sorry kid. But like that drawing is fire,” Emily jumped back quickly, sending you a regretful look. She pointed to the chairs next to you, and you nodded with a small smile.

“It’s not right…” You murmured, returning your attention to the drawing, biting your lip.

“What do you mean, it looks just like us?” Lindsey asked, leaning forward to get a better look at the picture of her and Emily. You had drawn it during the tactics meeting. There was just something about the way Lindsey’s hand was placed in Emily’s back, and how Emily was watching her instead of Vlatko that had been irresistible to you.

“It’s missing something,” You grumbled shaking your head. You missed the glance that the two women shared. They knew that Chris and Tobin were trying to teach you to open up about your feelings.

“Like what?” Lindsey asked carefully. Placing a gentle hand on your back and rubbing soothing circles like she had seen Christen do about a million times.

“It’s something about the eyes. They get this glint when you look at each other,” You said, turning to the two women. Your hands moved animatedly as you tried to explain the thing that you knew was missing. The thing that you didn’t have a name for, but you could see clear as day. The thing that you just couldn’t capture on paper.

“It’s because we love each other,” Emily explained as gently as she could, and you tensed. As far as you were concerned, love was a myth. A thing people used to give others hope or to justify their despicable actions. Dads 3 and 9 had proved that to you with their twisted definitions, and all of the families that had packed you up and shipped you off had destroyed any understanding of the concept. To think that someone would have such a deep level of care for another, only expecting the same in return was mind-boggling to you.

“Love doesn’t exist,” You huffed, turning away from Emily’s kind eyes, and running a frustrated hand through your hair. The women resisted the urge to sigh. This wasn’t an uncommon occupancy, but your absolute denial was still a little disheartening, as everyone was doing their damndest to show you differently.

“You’re allowed to feel that way, but I’m going to disagree with you,” Lindsey murmured, carefully untangling your hand from your hair and holding it in her own. You tended to take out your frustrations on yourself. A habit, among many others, that the women were working to break.

“How do you know you love her and not something else?” You questioned, staring at the two women. The let your challenging tone roll off of them. They knew you had some deep-seated beliefs and that it took time to change them.

“I care for Lindsey so deeply that I would do anything for her,” Emily started, grabbing her girlfriends hand and looking at her with so much devotion it almost took your breath away.

“I always want to be around Emily. I want to protect her and make her feel better when she’s sad,” Lindsey finished, an equally adoring glint in her eyes. What you would give to be able to capture those looks perfectly on paper. Do be able to do that look justice.

“I don’t, I just-,” You stuttered, your eyebrows furrowing. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, trying to figure out what you were trying to say. Tobin and Christen were always trying to make you feel welcome to make you feel better. Could that be what they meant? “She makes you feel safe?” You asked hesitantly.

“The safest I’ve ever felt,” Lindsey said solemnly, and Emily nodded her agreement. You glanced over to the table where Christen was sending you a questioning smile. You smiled back.

Lindsey and Emily shared another look, realizing that your doubts about love had nothing to do with them, but were instead about how you were feeling about your moms.

“That’s how they make me feel,” You mumbled, looking down, almost ashamed. Tobin and Christen had done nothing but try and get you to open up to them. To make you feel safe and comfortable, and you couldn’t get a grip and call them Mom or tell them that you cared about (loved?) them.

“For the record, they have the same glint when they look at you,” Lindsey whispered into your ear, pulling you into a hug. You gave her a tiny, not quite believing nod. You wanted to believe her, but how could anyone love a messed up 13-year-old like you?

****

You woke with a start, sitting bolt upright in your hotel room bed. Your heart was racing so fast that you thought it might beat right out of your chest. You clenched your eyes shut in an attempt to rid the images out of your mind. To rid the smell of his breath, that evil glint in his eyes, or the pain he had inflicted on your lower half from your brain.

“Hey baby doll, you alright?” Tobin’s sleepy voice broke you out of your spiraling thoughts, and you bit down hard on your hand to prevent the sob from leaving your lips.

“Hey, Y/n are you alright?” She said, flipping on the light, which startled Christen awake. They both took in your shaking form. Your face was pale, and you were rocking back and forth in the bed. You stared unseeingly at them, almost as though you were in a different world.

The two women immediately jumped into action, Tobin rushing to grab a warm washcloth from the bathroom, and Christen slowly moving to sit beside you on your bed. Her hand came up to gently run circles on your back.

“Y/n, baby,” She murmured, afraid that she would startle you more than you already were. Your eyes snapped to her and you shook your head rapidly, tears flowing freely down your face. You leaned further into her touch, collapsing in her arms. She pulled you closer to her, rocking you back and forth as you sobbed into her chest. Tobin ran a comforting hand through your hair when she returned, unwilling to coax you out of your hiding spot in her wife’s chest.

She held you tight as if to reassure you that she was there, and she was never leaving. She and Tobin shared several worried looks, unsure of how to proceed. It was rare that you showed them any emotions besides happiness and frustration. They knew you had nightmares, but they had never been involved in the aftermath of one before.

They half you between them, cooing soothing words and reassurances into your hair until your crying slowed.

“Hey, baby can you look up at me?” Tobin asked softly, running the warm cloth over your features when you glanced up at her. You sighed into the touch, unused to the warm feeling that settled in your chest.

“Can you tell us what’s going on?” Christen murmured into your hair, never stopping her comforting rubbing on your back or her rocking back and forth. You rapidly shook your head, returning to your hiding place. You knew that they had read your file before they adopted you, but reading a second-hand account of events and hearing it were two very different things.

“Why not baby? It might help to get it off your chest,” Tobin pressed just a little, and she saw your shoulders deflate.

“You won’t want me anymore,” You said so quietly into Christen’s shoulder that it was almost inaudible. The women gasped.

“We will never not want you Kid” Tobin declared firmly, as Christen’s rocking picked up to ebb the tears that had started to flow again.

A choked “Why?” left your lips, muffled by the soft material of Christen’s shirt, and you felt both women tense. You had been to hell and back, and you just couldn’t understand why the women hadn’t given up on you yet. Perhaps it was their competitive nature. Always wanting to overcome every challenge they face. But perhaps it was something else, the little voice in the back of your brain said.

“Because we love you,” Christen whispered into your ear, and your tears increased.

“You’re an amazing kid, and you bring so much light to our lives, despite all of the shit that you’ve been through,” Tobin added, wrapping her arms around both of you. You sighed into their touch.

“Will you stay with me?” You whimpered softly. They made you feel safe, and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep without them.

“Always kiddo,” Tobin hummed, pulling the covers back and allowing Chris to maneuver you had her underneath them before joining you. You sighed deeply, relaxing at the feeling of both of them. You felt so safe, so protected between them. You felt… something so much greater than care. Something that you had been avoiding.

As you drifted off you released a soft “love you mom and mama,”. You missed the shit-eating grins that took over both women’s faces, as they had been waiting for this moment for 8 months. The moment where you would finally accept their love, accept their invitation into their family. But you did catch the soft “love you too baby,” that came from both women.

Things weren’t perfect, but they were heading that way. Sure, it would be a challenge, but they would never give up on you. You were theirs and they were yours forever and always.

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #preath x reader #preath imagine

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putschki1969 · 3 years

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2021/07/07 Blog post by Wakana 「麺」と「MEN」が仲間入り！！〜私の昼食大革命〜

Super-Noodles have joined the ranks！〜My Great Lunch Revolution〜

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ Do ❗NOT SHARE❗ on other sites ❗ Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

Recently, I've come across something amazing that has shocked me to my core, the food of my dreams, it's truly revolutionised my daily diet. SUPER NOODLES! ･: * +. \ ((° ω °)) /.:+ ･:*+.\((°ω°))/.:+ ･:*+.\((°ω°))/.: + ･: * +. \ ((° ω °)) /.:+ (they are gluten-free). These noodles are made from rice. Some of you may wonder if these taste like Vietnamese pho noodles or vermicelli noodles since they are also made from rice but they are actually quite different in texture and taste. They are not as soft but instead they are firm and chewy like udon, ramen, and regular pasta (they are vacuum-packed as seen in the picture and it only takes a minutes to make them, amazing, right?).

For the most part I live gluten-free so I do my best to stay away from flour. For example, I usually eat ramen and udon about once a month or so, the last time I had pasta was in autumn last year (if I remember correctly?*laughs*). I had pizza at the end of the year! And I had some bread while we did a shoot the other day ♪ It was delicious ~ ♪

I'm not allergic to gluten, so I can eat it without any issue, and I honestly really love noodles and bread. But as we all know it's better not to eat too much flour. That's why I try to refrain from it. I love pasta so much that I used to eat it almost every day. Whenever I have some delicious pasta I get addicted and super greedy, I will feel the need to eat it again the next day and the next. That’s why I really try my best to stay away from that *laughs*. Pizza is really delicious as well, and when I eat it, I feel like having it every week, so it is also very high on my list of things I try to avoid as much as possible. There are many occasions where I am tempted to eat bread but I am not really addicted to it so I don’t suffer from withdrawal symptoms if I don't have it regularly, it’s not like I need to have it every day so I am fine with that *laughs*. Also, I don't have much desire to eat cakes or other types of desserts with flour, so I don't mind staying away from them. I have gotten stronger and more patient when it comes to udon and ramen so I can tolerate having them only once a month. I have actually not had udon in a while now ... since I love udon so much I want to eat it in Fukuoka ... (when I am in Fukuoka, I allow myself to eat as much udon as I want ♪)

Writing all of this I feel like many people might assume that I am overdoing it, that it might not be very healthy to deny myself all these foods but the truth is, this eating habit has become part of my life, it feels very natural to me. I have various options for my main and side dishes so it’s not troublesome at all and it doesn’t feel like I am missing out on anything(⌒ ▽ ⌒) ♪ And sometimes the ban is lifted and I will eat whatever I want ♪ But yeah, for the most part I just want to eat udon and pasta without having to worry about my body. And that’s possibe now. Thanks to the super noodles!!! My wish has come true!!!! (´ ； Д ； `) Really, a true revolution! These special "noodles" have joined the ranks of my favourite lunch foods (lunch is the only meal where I eat carbs)!! I have so much fun every day thinking of new ways to prepare my noodles *laughs* In the first picture you are seeing my basic lunch. Very lazily prepared *laughs*. And the follow-up picture is what happens if you use noodles instead of rice ↓ ↓ ↓ I added a raw egg to the hot boiled super noodles, some Saku-Saku Crispy Soy Sauce and then sprinkled some sesame seeds on top, pure heaven. If you add some tomato sauce, it tastes just like regular tomato sauce pasta. The noodles look like real pasta, but it’s all made of rice. And they taste just like pasta!! A huge surprise!! Noodles by themselves aren’t the most nutritious food so I always make sure to have miso soup or natto on the side *laughs*. My lunch is in the midst of going through a great revolution!

Hello, this is Wakana (0￣ ▽ ￣0) /

My introduction turned out really long *laughs*. Yup, it’s a long wall of text this time *laughs*. If you are interested in a gluten-free diet, there are so many powerful and useful foods that will help you on your journey and provide peace of mind! \\\\ ٩ ('ω') و //// ♪

By the way, today is July 7th! It's Tanabata ☆ o (^ ▽ ^) o It gets cloudy on Tanabata every year so as expected it’s cloudy in Tokyo tonight too ... a shame~ (￣ ▽ ￣;)

Time flew by, it's already been two and a half months since my spring concert ... How is time going by so quickly? Prior to the release of the live Blu-ray, Victor's Official YouTube Channel released a digest video! The trailer is about 7 minutes long and you really get a proper feel for the live *laughs*. Please be sure to check it out~ ♪

And the other day we got to finally announce the musicians for "Wakana Anime Classic 2021" which will have its first performance in Osaka on August 15!!! Tadaaaa!!!

Music Director / Piano: Shin Hashimoto (Sin) Violin: Koichiro Muroya Cello: Takahiro Yuki

Sin-san, the music director and pianist, has assisted me on many occasions, he contributed to the "Wakana Covers ~ Anime Classics ~" album and he has accompanied me on YouTube videos and other online events! The violinist Muroya-san has not only worked on my "Wakana Covers ~" album, he has also participated in the recording for many songs on my other albums! I have actually known the cellist Yuki-san ever since my days in Kalafina, back then he played the cello during various productions. Now that I have become a solo artist, he continues to be of help during recordings. Such a fantastic trio!! I think that the arrangements this time around will be simpler and the sound will be much more intimate. We want to carefully create immaculate arrangements so you can enjoy every second of the concert. I can’t wait for rehearsals to start ...! I think August will come in no time so I'm really just looking forward to the first live performance in Osaka (● ´ω ｀ ●) *excited* ♪

It's a little while before I can meet you in person but there will be an online sign event this Friday and Saturday ~ (* ^ ◯ ^ *) Just a little while longer! I'll be writing your names and adding my signature on these lovely sheets ~ (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) Please look forward to it~! !!

Well then, let’s meet on the weekend! Until next time〜☆( *'▽’*)/

*** Wakana ***

2021/07/07 Instagram post by Wakana

More location photos! I went to a place of my dreams ~ 🌿🌿🌿 A country of plants! ️😆😆 I have been there several times already, there are many plants, flowers, gorgeous pots and fashionable vases every time I come here, it's truly a magical land that I never get tired of ... 🥰💕 Details of this location will be announced at a later date 😊 Please be patient a little while longer🎵 The second photo is featuring colourul vases in the shapes of vegetables and fruits ~ 😍🍓🍋🍍 🍓 I was worrying so much about whether to buy one or not ❗ (in the end I resisted). By the way, today is Tanabata 🎋 Please spend a wonderful night with your wishes in mind ✨🌠🌟🌠

Source

#kalafina #wakana #wakana blog #fan club exclusive content #botanical land #wakana on instagram #long text post

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life-rewritten · 3 years

Text

GIANTS OF BL 2021 AKA SHOWS LINED UP FOR GMMTV THAT WE WON’T STOP SCREAMING ABOUT!

Is there a way I can get over the addiction of BLS? Apparently not because GMMTV came and slapped me across the face for ever thinking I could. Like what even was that conference? I came in like yeah I've heard the rumours. 6 BLs! LOL, you're kidding, like nothing I'd want would even happen. But I still made a list of everything I wanted from them and held that checklist in my mind and boy was I shocked! I ended up just on the floor, brain exploded, mind shut down and can you believe I was crying? Like why on earth was I crying for GMMTV BLs? Crazy right? I am absolutely left floored, I'm going to be crying as I write this by the way just so you know, I've got my heart full ready to burst, talking about the change we've seen in BLs this year, the journey, the growth; there's still some work to do, but GMMTV said they were also part of that, they were going to change and make us stay, wanting more. They did that in a 3-hour conference. My brain is ready, my mind is prepared, my heart is available for all these shows, and I can't wait to see what 2021 unfolds. Let's begin screaming:

Ratings: From 1 to 5 (1 being least excited to watch, 5 being most,) how excited am I to delve into these shows?

THE NICE SURPRISES

BAKERY BOYS

Genre/Themes: Thriller, Bromance, Mystery, Psychological, Drama, Friendship, BL? (The manga is), Baking

Verdict: You know I love Antique when immediately I see that Foie's hands shaking as he has to be one of the waiters in the cafe, reminds me back to another favourite bodyguard of mine doing so. I was in shock; One because Antique was one of my first Korean 'BL' movies I saw, with all my favourite actors, an unusual and intriguing plotline and I ate it up; all of it. I didn't like how censored it was and the weird open ending for the relationship in the show. But I couldn't care less, something about it made me happy. I just loved the characters I think, and I enjoyed seeing our 4 bakers become friends and find a weird found family with each other. Add in a mystery to why Joon’s character wanted to kill himself and hated cakes? And I was sold. Now GMMTV is making a remake for it, and SINGTO is playing my favourite gay baker. Like I am so happy with this. Do I expect this to blow my mind? No. Do I expect more BL? A little? I'm not sure like GMMTV could make Antique a BL if they want to, Korea hinted to it, Japan ignored it in anime and others, but Thailand could change that. I'm not holding hopes for it, but I love this cast just as much as I love the Korean Cast like Lee Thanawat is perfect for this role, Singto is greater (I just love him so much) and we even have Pleum and Foei?? Are you kidding me? Greatness. It's going to be fun to see what they do with the mystery—something I greatly liked in the movie. Let's hope it's more fleshed out in the tv show. So excited!

Ratings: 3.5/5 I mean it's not really a BL so it'll feel queer baity for me and I may end up being annoyed it, but I really do have fond memories of the Korean movie, so I want to be excited, and the cast is everything so we'll see.

FISH UPON THE SKY

Genre: Unrequited Love, Comedy, Romance, Rivalry, Haters to Lovers,

Verdict:

DID SOMEONE SAY JITTIRAIN: THEORY OF LOVE? 2GETHER??? Sorry for screaming but like what else am I meant to do. Theory of love is my ultimate BL show, one of it anyway, one of the reasons will be discussed even more later with another show, but this is not about them. Also, 2gether is like one of the biggest BLs ever right now. Jittirain is genius, she has this ability to make you feel for her characters, root for their love stories whilst throwing plot twists everywhere. I also like that she always has a focus; theory of love, we had film theory, 2gether we had music, and now we have Fish Upon the Sky, and we have?

Medicine? Love rivalry? Honestly, I don't know, the title even makes me feel even weird; what the hell does Fish upon a sky mean? But who cares it's a Jittirain classic, comedy, pain, longiiiing, and unrequited love, and scheming to get unrequited loves requited, more side couples and secretive characters. This time we have PHUWIN (had to emphasise that because he's impressive people stop sleeping on him!), one of my favourite youngins, showing up and becoming our main Pi and we have Pond a newbie, who has charisma for days, and he plays Mork, and they are love rivals. Wait what? A love story between two people who fall for each other after chasing after one guy? I'm ready for this, the haters to lovers, the pain of unrequited longing, but hold on it seems like a plot twist! Seems like we have another oblivious protagonist on our hand aside from Tine in 2gether, Pi can't even see that Mork isn't chasing after the same person as him, but for he's chasing after him! Sarawat scheming activated! I'm expecting giggles, chemistry and a great story. And it's going to be great because it's Jittirain.

Ratings: 4.5/5 It's not anything new but do I need to repeat my self? Theory of love pining and longing and emotions mixed with 2gether's secrecy, scheming and obliviousness? It's going to be great. The cast is also excellent, I have total faith in this show, better be a good director though (oh no nightmares from the last half of 2gether has returned).

FINDING ENCHANTE

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Haters to Lovers, Harem, Mystery,

Verdicts:

Enchante that means nice to meet you aww. Wow, now I know French. Yay now where do I sign up to be like Theo and have 5 men chasing after me? Actually, that sounds like a nightmare, and I don't have time for that. He does apparently. Guess what guys! I knew I had a feeling in my gut when I watched this drama, I felt the memories, the intuition, the clues, hitting my brain, and I realised why. This show is also written by My gear and your gown's writer. YES! You mean more mystery and subtext filled storytelling, a show where I can analyse the character dynamics, and find clues to piecing the story together??? Perfection. As much as My gear and your gown wasn't everything to me, it was everything to me when I analysed it, I have fun with this writer's works when directed properly her works have great potential to be one of the best. I love GMMTV giving new actors the time to shine, and choosing stories that make my mind start working again. Thank you.

With this show we're having a love Simon flashbacks with our Simon being sent secret messages through a book by Enchante, he's sweet, caring and totally all about making our lead comfortable. Who could he be?

The best friend who's totally pining from afar and playing off his feelings like its nothing? My gut is already saying that Tine definitely wants it to be him (so again requited but they don't know trope? you've got me!)

Is it the playboy guitar extraordinaire played by GAWIN you heard me right GAWIN my Mork in Dark Blue Kiss!! Like what? Where've you been boy? He looks so great in this, by the way, he's a tease, likes to play our lead's feelings, and has chemistry because they're haters to lovers.

Or is it FLUKE PUSIT?? What even is this cast how is it both my favourite actors are here? Anyways Fluke is an artist, he wants our lead to let him in so he can draw him, our lead is his muse apparently, and again chemistry that makes your head hurt because like who is this damn Enchante?? Who will Theo choose?

Anyways we then have two people who I don't know that well sorry, Boom is the football captain that likes our lead and is always protecting him, and the other is a genius/nerd? Who helps Theo with his studies? Like wow, it must be great to be Theo, guys from different lifestyles and aesthetics have found him, they want him, they need him and one of them he wants and needs. I wonder who it is.

Ps people already thinking it's the best friend, not me, I think bestie is obviously endgame Tine is definitely also secretly wanting him to be with that pining and longing (I'm sure it's why he wants to find enchante desperately). I can't wait to see why these two refuse to let each other know how it feels. All I beg for is, please don't let New direct this. Guess what it's produced by X (Theory of Love! Hold on while I cry again) and Film! (Also theory of love!) Oh, this is going to be brilliant!

Ratings: 4.5/5 This drama is probably going to be the most underrated because people have other things to care about I don't blame you, but I think for me, this would be a same favourite way I loved MGYG and I'm ready for new faces, Gawin and Fluke and a requited but they don't know it angsty love story plus I know the directing is going to be amazing!. Ps, I actually hate harems, but the excitement is in figuring out who on earth is Enchante and why this is happening!

THE BIG BOYS

GMMTV decided to not let me rest next year. How is it that I already felt happy by seeing Phuwin, Gawin, Fluke etc... I was content you know, I was like great we have a great line up I'm excited now I don't think there's anything else I secretly want that will happen. I'm being a clown, BUT NO. EVERYTHING I ASKED FOR: EVERYONE I WANTED TO SEE, EVERY TROPE I WANTED, THE DIRECTOR, THE PLOTS, EVERYTHING WAS MANIFESTED BY THESE THREE TRAILERS. That's why I ended up crying. Because even till this day I can't believe this is real. I don't know when I'll finally think they will be real in 2021. Crying again!

NOT ME

Genre: Gang, Mafia, Crime, Romance, Drama, Stolen Identity, Twins, Angst

Not me? Not you? Not us? See how my mind scrambles when it comes to this show. Because I was determined to not be a clown and believe in this even when I saw OFF GUN hold onto each other on the motorbike I was like HA, nope they're just guest stars, when I saw them as gang members I was like HA; interesting probably not BL. When I saw two Guns, I was like HA, nice Gifted character flashback but still not BL. I won't fall for it, this is a BAIT! You get me? BAIT!! Don't fall for it and then GMMTV was like shut up here's a kiss. And then I broke down and cried. Because it was a journey.

Remember when I said Theory of Love was my favourite? It's because of these two; OffGun is everything, my favourite BL couple on screen, my favourite fanservice couple, everything. I thought that the end of theory of love meant I won't be seeing them for a while, they'd be in other series separate, they'd not want to be typecasted. Gun would go for serious roles, Off will choose more het romantic comedies, don't blame them. Still, I didn't think I'd see them again, and I wasn't sure I wanted to see them in another university setting. I set my mind on only seeing them in fan meetings and side projects, I'd made up my mind to miss them. And then NOT ME happened, and now I'm crying just at the thought;

This isn't a cringy, comedic, cheesy BL.

This isn't set in University.

This isn't' unrequited pining from Gun to Off.

Gun is Dark! I repeat Gun went Dark he became a gang leader determined to break the law, called Black and Off; OFF went serious and he's Gun's right-hand man called Sean, and I'm just like wait is this real?? We're getting dark, gritty OFF GUN??? Are you serious?? See?? still can't believe it, and it's BL??? What is this? Christmas?? Like how did we get this, who came up with this idea THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I thought nothing could beat theory of love for me and now OffGun came back and said HA you thought. I have a lot of feels about this, I will never stop screaming, I've rewatched that youtube trailer now for about more than 20 times, I'm not even kidding you, every day it's on repeat, I'm just ready, ready to write, to scream, to talk about this in so much detail. Let's get a plot that's deep, thrilling and mysterious, let's get a romance that is interesting, angsty but also sweet, let's get acting that is full of range, that will break my heart but fix it together again, let's get chemistry that would make me forget everything else. I'm ready for this. I've never been more ready!

Ratings: 5/5 What were you expecting? I can't even rate this anything else, nothing about this is worrying; even the director I trust she's also worked with Gun before in another movie of his, she respects LGBTQ, and she wants to make a great BL. I just can't believe this is real. 2021 come faster, I beg you.

BAD BUDDY

Genre: Forbidden romance, Haters to Lovers, Romance, Comedy, Opposites attract, Angst, Friends to Lovers,

Verdict:

You thought my screaming would be over. But no. GMMTV wasn't done with me yet. It's like it knew I was mourning from my lack of Ohm Pawat after rewatching He's coming to me (review here) and it knew I had just finished watching Gifted Graduation and felt slighted to see my opportunity at seeing Nanon as a BL character being taken from me with that finale. GMMTV knew I was empty without them and decided to mock me, and put me back together by making OHM NANON in a series together,.

Again the same process as Not me; I started laughing when I saw the trailer like a mad person. I was like this is clearly a queer bait bromance, HA, not falling for it GMMTV almost got me this time, but then there were the stares, the Romeo and Juliet energy, the sneaking into each other's rooms, the becoming secret friends despite being haters to lovers, the skinship, the intimacy, and then the jealousy, the pining, the longing, the are we just friends scene??? WAIT, WHAT IS THIS?? Why is AOF directing this (same director of ALL my favourite BLS), what is this GMMTV?

Nanon wouldn't be in a BL we know this, we've been clowns, but we accepted this with defeat, why is he now saying he's doing one because of the cast? THIS IS A BL? NOT BAIT? NOT A TRICK? BY AOF? WHATTTTTTT???? see my mind exploded.

Since then it hasn't still comprehended this. This is insane, do you know how good, how genius, how amazing Nanon and Ohm Pawat is?? Do you see the power this holds? The fact it's directed by Aof who's like one of the best directors ever in GMMTV??? Do you even know what this means? For this GENRE??? Sorry, I have to scream. I still can't believe this! This is something someone would say, and we'd laugh it of as a joke like yeah right, in your dreams, but it's real, and it looks absolutely amazing, is it a university setting YES, so what? This is everything, with haters to lovers but not really, to Romeo and Juliet pining and longing, to the chemistry that takes your breath away. To just Ohm and Nanon in a screen together being in love. Yep, you guessed it my mind is never goanna be whole again after this breakdown. Guess what I'm okay with it.

Ratings: 5/5 OhmNanon, Aof that's it. That's the post.

A TALE OF A THOUSAND STARS

Genre/Themes: Military, Romance, Comedy, Drama, Heart Transplant, Unrequited Love, Fish out of water,

Verdict:

And we come to this big one here. You see it? It screams 2021 show of the year to me, it screams incredible plot and romance to me, it screams unique and exciting BL to me. Guess what? It's also by Aof. Ha. It took me a year to accept this is happening because when the trailer came out, I knew that with this cursed genre that this was too good that there'd probably be some kind of issue with it. But did it matter? No! Because this was real. Earth and Mix were in a BL together, and it looks so amazing, so great, and it's coming in less than 3 months. I'm going to cry. And it means everything; because there's a hint of character dynamics, angst and also haters to lovers. I see the chemistry, the production, the plot, the actors, and I just feel so ready for this show that I have no other words to say except I love it, I love it, I love it!.

Ratings: 5/5 It's taken years, but I'm ready for this, I just want the trailer now, I want the show now, I want 2021 to start now. This is definitely a giant for sure, it's everything, and I can't wait for it.

After screaming at everything; 2021 starting with ATOTS is already a sign, we're in for a great year with so many incredible changes in this genre. GMMTV isn't messing around, with subs in their event to show international fans are no longer forgotten and are heard and respected, with actors that have made their way into my heart and refuse to leave, and I'm just so happy. It may seem so extreme to be this excited for a BL series to be good, but I love this genre, I love seeing what it represents to so many people, I love the interesting storylines, the discussions you can have for days because of it, the tears, angst, and happiness you feel. But most of all I love how BL has brought out writing from me, I'm happy when I analyse this genre, I'm delighted discussing real-life links and conversations derived from it, I'm so glad learning and humbling my self and opening my mind to new things. BL has been a source of excitement, shock and happiness this year. I can't for next year to be even more splendid, and with this line-up, it's going to be even more than that. It's going to break the world. Can't wait.

#thai bl #gmmtv 2021 #gmmtv #bl series #bl drama #antique bakery #baker boys #singto prachaya #fish upon the sky #phuwin tangsakyuen #enchante #not me #off gun #offgun #bad buddy #ohmnanon #ohmnon #fvete #2021

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blissfulsun · 4 years

Note

You are sooo cuute! Ok first request coming in... 6. from the kissing promt list pls 😍 ~ vlobsessed

Nooo u🥺!!! Thank u for requesting angel, I went wild with the word count as per sooorry about that hahah, hope you like it ilyyy😽💓

6. We’re not supposed to be doing this kiss

word count: 1,426

Forbidden Fruit // Jeff Wittek

You're still new to the group, your heart doubling in size in the past couple of weeks due to the warm welcome and budding friendships experienced, all the result of a simple DM from David Dobrik himself about a bit.

Climatizing into the tight circle of friends came surprisingly easily to you, feeling like this is where you belong in such a short while.

That's not to say you have been the only one to benefit from the new addition to the squad, Dave singing your praises as the sweet and seemingly innocent cute new girl, the viewer's words, not his. Fans liked you, despite your previous anxieties over their opinions.

And now that Nat and Todd seemed to pair off, the boys and Corinna have formed an unspoken agreement to flirt with you instead.

It's the primary reason behind your school girl crush on Jeff, your hot single male counterpart, rinna's summary not yours. God forbid you'd ever call him hot out loud, the thought alone causing red to rise to your cheeks.

So those appear to be your default roles. You know you are supposed to stick to that unwritten script, but it's getting increasingly harder to control your heart and wild thoughts with someone like Jeff around.

The more time you spend with your new friends, the more you two talk and tease beyond the recording cameras. Jeff feels the same way, both of you frustratingly oblivious and cautious of your behaviour and words around the other, well, most of the time.

It's you who gets caught first, 'You have a thing for our resident bad boy y/n/n?’ Zane notices you staring at your crush's shirtless muscular back on a group hike. For a second you forget how to breathe, choking on your own saliva.

'What?! I don't like Jeff!' you rush to lower your voice at the realisation your words are a little loud and might carry. 'He's loud and obnoxious and I think that high pitched giggle he does when he's nervous is actually really dumb' Zane only laughs at your poor attempt at deflecting.

'Suuure baby' he teases, 'I believe you, careful though, the two of you are prime content right now, the fans love having two hot singles around.' Your heart sinks at the reminder, but you jokingly scoff and push your crazy friend lightly.

‘I'll keep that in mind' the conversation ends with that, you catch up to the others, deciding on a safe spot in the middle of the group, closer to Jeff but not close enough.

The distance silently haunts him just as much.

It happens to Jeff around a month later. He's better at hiding that way, limiting longing sighs and softened eyes only to when he knows no one is watching him closely.

But this emotion, the green monster growing in his chest is new, harder to control as he watches you closely from across the room.

You're filming a tik tok with some hot shot content creator David invited over & he's stuck on the other side of the room in conversation with Scott & Todd.

'You jealous Wittek?' He snaps back into their talk in an instant. 'Of him? You're kidding' Jeff is doing his best to be dismissive, rolling his eyes at his best friend's teasing.

Scott adds to it 'how do you know exactly who Todd’s talking about?' They seem all to happy with themselves in the moment.

‘I mean he is pretty good loo-' he interrupts Scotty with a scoff '-I could take him.' The words come out a little aggressive and he bites his tongue as the other two guys continue to grin.

‘What kind of "taking" are we talking? Like out to dinner...or more permanently?" Jeff only gives Scott an annoyed look, already tired of the conversation.

Todd is the one to accidentally drive the nail home, 'jokes aside, I don't think y/n is looking for anything right now, the single girl video presence is working well for her.'

It's a reminder he doesn't need. It weighs heavy on him for the rest of the night and long after when he's alone in his cold bed, thoughts of you never ending.

Spring falls into step with summer, you're at home within the group by now & Jeff is even more crazy about you, if that were possible.

Not that you could tell, his absences growing more frequent in your presence, keeping a safe distance seems like the best option even if it's slowly draining him.

He's more angry lately, blames it on withdrawal, you've become a kind of addiction. You don't realise he's at the party, absent from David's car and the recording shenanigans on the way over.

Jeff isn't sure why he let the others convince him to show up, especially now as he has clear view of you and you're smiling at some guy who isn't him.

'-so yeah it's hard work but I lift abou-' your painfully one sided conversation is interrupted by Jeff, 'Y/n? Can I talk to you for a second?'

You're shocked into stillness, eventually nodding and awkwardly waving off the stranger who's been following you around ever since you stepped a foot into the house.

You wonder what is going on, Jeff himself not entirely sure of his next plan of action, he’s gently holding your wrist when he pulls you through the first door you two stumble across in the dark hallway.

'What...are you okay?' You're the first to break the silence that envelopes you, his breathing hard as the music lowers in volume with the door closed.

He's looking at you intensely enough for your own breath to stutter, confusion evident in your face as your heart flutters in your chest in realisation of the close proximity in such a small space, both terrifying and exhilarating.

Has he been this close the whole time? 'I've been avoiding you.' The confession only adds to your puzzlement at the current events.

Jeff doesn't stop there, maybe seeing you for the first time in nearly two weeks is what he needed to slowly tip him over the edge, carelessness growing at having you only inches away.

‘It's because I don't trust myself around you, 's been getting harder..' the flutter in your chest turns to intense drumming, eyes searching his for confirmation of what you hope he's saying.

Jeff clarifies, tone raspy 'We don't have to do this doll. I really fucking want to but we don't have to.' '-Good god, please call me doll again' the moan that accompanies your request is confession enough for him.

'c'mere doll...' And then Jeff's lips cover yours, the moment only intensifying. He's nervous at first, but then your arms find their way around his shoulders in an instant, violent heartbeats clashing against both your ribcages.

It's a build up of months of longing, but oh my god is it worth the wait, and you want more.

But you reluctantly move away, the space between you still hardly noticeable, though the fact it suddenly exists again frustrates Jeff to no end. 'We shouldn't be doing this...' your words don't sound convincing even to yourself.

‘I don't care.' His reply is simple, and he means it, done with denying himself when you taste this fucking good, feel so right in his possessive grasp.

He pulls you in, mouth claiming yours again, is this what you are trying to deny yourself, have denied yourself for so long? Fuck, never again, Jeff's thoughts reflect the same feelings of instant addiction.

He's surrounding all your senses, time a seemingly foreign concept as you're lifted onto the counter, his hands encased around your thighs.

Your own fingers travel with a mind of their own, one hand pulling on the soft hair at the back of his neck, the other gripping around his muscular back wanting him impossibly closer.

'You taste like peaches' is the first coherent sentence to leave Jeff's mouth when you finally part. He stays close, thumb reaching to clean up the mess of lipgloss he ever so artistically painted across your cupid’s bow with his own.

You can't help but teasingly encase it in your mouth and bite lightly, the groan that leaves his mouth travelling straight between your thighs. In return, Jeff feels you deliciously squeeze them around his middle, the temperature rising between you.

Beyond the unlocked bathroom door the party carries on, your friends unaware of your succumb to weakness, neither of you can find it in yourself to care in the moment.

#vlobsessed #angels💓#u are a cutie btw ilyyy #jeff wittek #jeff wittek imagine #a nice change of pace from my constant fluff lol #am i an angsty jeff stan now?? maybe #jeff wittek x reader

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doomtodivide · 3 years

Text

Imagining The Future: Bastille's New Era Analysis

Hello all! The following is taken from the first of my new era update posts on r/Bastillecult. I highly reccomend reading all the posts on there!

Last time I had a few solid guesses with the whole Goosebumps EP transition period, so I figured I would try my luck with this new era. I've broken everything down into a few categories that should hopefully flesh out a sketch of possibilities

Aesthetic: The new logo has a very sleek design. This complete change in aesthetics is very noticable. Bad Blood was filled with literature references, a cozy and nerdy looking dan, and more earthy looking tones. Wild World focused on nihilism, movie references, and an all too realistic dystopian city aesthetic. Doom Days focused on escapism, partying, fucking, and a red and home-y vibes. The lack of color and the clean and sleek look points towards it being a more future oriented era.

Triangle: For a deeper background, I highly recommend reading u/casperwyomingrex 'spost.

The WW era triangle and this new triangle are technically called deltas. While I am by no means a geometry person, I’ve been told by a few math nerds that these triangles are technically not possible in certain plains and spaces, making them impossible. While it is likely that Bastille just needed to explore just slightly outside the normal definition of a triangle to match this aesthetic, the impossible triangle t-shirts hint that there is significance to having “impossible” triangles. This hints that there may be more in common between the WW Era and the Future Era, ie. a dystopian society.

Dystopia: Bastille created an entire dystopian corporation for WW. I remember them saying somewhere they hated the promo and touring process for this album, leading them to switch up the process for DD and the Goosebumps EP. With the record label change and covid shaking up the world, this opens up the opportunity for them to have a redo with this era, especially considering it is a fan favorite era. Many people have pointed out that hint has a vibe similar to black mirror, a sci-fi dystopian show, which would fully support a sci-fi dystopian aesthetic era.

Sound: Though the clip is only 8 seconds long, it gives us some hints about the new era. Bastille once again uses synths for sound, creating a reference to Sci Fi sound effects. The clip mirrors the effect of oscillators to create things like laser sound effects, teleportation, warping, and other “space” noises. I find the juxtaposition of Sci-fi interesting; it was most popular in the early 1900s, meaning Bastille is referencing the past, yet it focuses on the future, which in the lense of Sci-fi, would mean the 2000s and beyond.

In the lens of broadcasting, short interludes are used throughout advertising to the point where many people don’t even think about this. A lot of them are used to hook us in and signify a certain company or thing. In advertisements they are used to signify the company’s presence and to worm the product into our brain. In casinos they are used as a dopamine reward. News stations use them to signify the station. This especially could be relevant in a dystopian society. I’m mentioning this because the clip doesn’t sound full enough to be a song, rather an intro to a news station segment. I find this especially notable considering WW had a news anchor. Looking back, a few videos from wild world could hold significance. This video

has a sci-fi esc clip in the intro.

In Previous Context: In the context of ReOrchestrated, Bastille is no longer letting imposter syndrome or shitty opinions stop them from what they want to do. Meaning they are going full force into the future. There's one specific time during the ReOrch doc where the boys talk about how ReOrch made them realize they could try new shit, even if management thinks it will fail. Dan has spoken in a few interviews now about being excited about collabing (and mentioning relinquishing control to others in the ReOrch doc), a few artists have come forward about working with Dan. While it’s unlikely that every collab we’ve theorized about will go through, Dan Wilson and Ryan Tedder seem to be confirmed in the roster based off of their interviews

When considering the past, a lot of previous songs focus on nostalgia; for example, in Fake it “We can never go back / We can only do our best to recreate.” Post ReOrch and DD, Bastille has worked up enough confidence to push into making their own future, one unlimited by nostalgia and fear.

In the Context of the Goosebumps EP, Inception and Vanilla Sky are both referenced. Both of these movies mark the first time* (to my knowledge

) that futuristic sci-fi has been referenced in Bastille. There is significant overlap with dreaming and time travel, something that could definitely be applied to this era. While it could be coincidental, Bastille has been quite purposeful with using references to add to the era’s aesthetic (see Aesthetic section). Referencing them during a transition period points towards both the literal future (new era) and a new aesthetic.

*Cosmos: War of the Planets and twilight zone have both been referenced but fall into a different category of sci-fi than Vanilla Sky and Inception

In Regards to Distraction Tactics Space Week and WW, alot of it holds very similar aesthetics. This video

from WW also holds a similar aesthetic. Considering DT is linked through space and WW is linked through dystopian this might MIGHT be related.

Hints: It wouldn’t be a new Era without Dan “Soon” Smith teasing us a bit, so here are a few highlights. In this interview

, Dan says “I want to tell you but I can’t! We just want to reflect on the future…” The No Bad Days tweet and the #ToTheSky post likely plays a part in the new era, but the 8 second clip does not have any immediate hints. The art installation in the #ToTheSky post originally caught my interest when it was posted. James Turrel, the artist that created the installation, uses light as a medium to create art. The installation, called the Space That Sees, is described as an “allegory of light that we generate from inside and light that comes from outside: the emergence into space where light comes forth as in a dream." While I have no fucking clue how to interprete this allegory, I imagine space, light, and dreaming will become key players in the new era. A few other notable works of his are the Raethro Pink and Alta Pink, both of which are pinkish purplish white triangles light projections surrounded by inky blackness. The use of Bastille’s triangle logo and a flash of light purple light means there are likely deep ties between the new era and James Turrel’s creations; furthermore, he also acquired a dormant cinder cone volcano to turn into an a museum/observatory using light apertures to observe the solar system, adding further ties to the space and light themes.

Meaning: "You Don't Predict The Future. You Imagine It" I have purposely not used predict in this analysis so I don’t jinx this era. I’ve found a few variations of this saying (You Can’t Predict The Future. But You Can Create It), but all of them seem to point towards creating the future instead of guessing. I imagine not many of my predictions of this era will not be accurate because I am not the one imagining it. I feel like this might also point towards being conscious about what you want out of the future instead of merely guessing where the tides will take you. This could also be like that one story of a kid's drawings turning into real creatures because of the kid imagining it. I feel like “future” and “imagine” point deeply towards sci-fi because of the creative inventions that will take us there. This could also connect to the theory that the survivin’ coin is linked to A.A., and this statement being a motto to help someone escape addiction. Personally, I feel like this clip is the beginning of some sci-fi choose your own adventure video game, but that's my own opinion.

My Personal Crazy Conclusion: It wouldn’t be a post from me without me shooting out some crazy theories. A Light Cult Utopia. That's right. It would be the opposite of WW, meaning it would be new territory for Bastille and it would break a mold (ReOrch doc). It would also give Dan the ability to be more positive then he has been in the past, while also allowing for his normal cynical undertones. Bastille is purposeful with their references, meaning the Jonestown reference in DD might have a bit more purpose behind it. The lighter colors used in the clip would point to happiness. Considering utopias are “imagined” it would fit the phrase in the clip. Sci-fi would also fit into this as being imagined. Considering there are a few space references, I imagine that humans have imagined perfect spacecraft, further fitting sci-fi and a utopian society. Also, Dan collabed with Future Utopia on the track “What’s In A Name?” That's right, what’s in a name? The name being Future Utopia? An entire new era being the name? That right cultists, Dan ”Soon” Smith snuck this under our noses the entire time that bastard.

Summary Statement: This new era will likely bring collabs from an entirely new approach. A Sci-fi dystopian (or utopian) world, one focused on dreaming, light, and space will likely be the aesthetic for this era.

Loose ends: I am only one human, meaning I physically could not rewatch Inception and Vanilla Sky while also researching James Turrel, so there might be a few things I missed in my brief look at them. If anyone would like to read 1984 by George Orwell through the whole dystopian thing, there might be a few connections there.

Based on some things I’ve heard from a little birdy, expect some big non-album projects that tie in with this era and other things….

Special thanks to u/0verjoyed and @ ja9zimm on twitter

#bastille band #bastille #bastillecult #dan smith #kyle simmons #chris woody wood #will farquarson #long post

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