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monkey-network · 3 years

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Why Klaus IS Christmas Kino

Klaus isn’t flawless, let’s get this out the way. My love for this film won’t deny that it bears a couple nits that can distract the experience. Jesper and Alva’s relationship felt like an eye-rolling inevitability, notable cliches here & there, a notable song felt both fitting and out of place, and while enjoyable, I’m not as big a fan of the climax as I thought. But in spite of it all, I love this film and it is one of the best modern animated Christmas films, period? Follow me here. I could go on about its wonderful animation cuz yeah, it’s unlike any other film. But a philosophy of mine is that the best animation enhances the writing and I can say Klaus is that surprisingly well written and has become an all time Christmas fave

*deep breath in* So let’s do this...

I mention that Klaus has its cliches, but you gotta know that it’s smarter than expected. Believe me when I say if the writers didn’t care, this could’ve actually been so much worse. Jesper could’ve been more manipulative towards everyone for his goals, Klaus would’ve given up entirely after knowing the truth about Jesper, we could’ve had an argument between Jesper and his dad about upholding business, the townsfolk could’ve reverted back to their old ways, plenty writing moments where this could’ve been Emoji Movie levels of insulting to your intellect. BUT, they don’t. The film never really turns back on itself, it keeps moving where, as the notable quote goes, an act of good will sparks another as it starts with Jesper’s father.

Even if nepotism was responsible for Jesper getting the job in the first place, he clearly sees his son be more spoiled than he’s worth so is like, “Ma boi, I will send you to the ends of the earth or leave you to the streets if you don’t do something with yourself.” He never cared about his son representing the postal company, or ruining his top class image, he was only tired of Jesper taking advantage of his fortune while not having any ambition of his own. Can’t help but say Jesper’s dad is a very respectable character because the sole reason the whole plot happened in the first place was because he just wanted his son to do better. It’s that act of genuine consideration that pushes Jesper to his wake up call as he reaches Smeerensburg.

People have compared this movie to Emperor’s New Groove through Jesper’s character and I say yes, but this film takes that next step and put Jesper in the pit of pits way early. Reminds me more of Ratatouille’s beginning where Remy’s lowest point is around the same time as Jesper’s. The harsh atmosphere of the island is treated very blunt in how this is our mailman’s nightmare come true. With his situation, our guy is truly at his lowest. Gives up now, he’ll be cut off his inheritance and probably will have worse. Everyone hates him and each other, his post office itself is in shambles, symbolic of how communication is practically thin outside conflict, and the teacher turned fish seller Alva is that path Jesper could notably be if he didn’t try. Everything is literally grey for this guy, but like Ratatouille, when you’re at your lowest there’s no where else to go but up. That’s where Klaus comes in...

This is genuinely the most clever interpretation of Santa I know, hands down. A well established woodsman, a crafter both of living, for him and the birds that reside in his woods, and recreation with the toys he made himself not just for kids, but specifically the kids he and his wife wanted but couldn’t have. Klaus feels like a real person, not just another take on the mythical man. You’re with him and Jesper as he, after familiar winds provide him a letter, a small spark to do something good, soon opens up and gets reminded of what’s kept him going all these years. It is no wonder he sees his wife in Jesper, it’s thanks to him that he could refurbish his dashed dream into a new one. He didn’t just want to do it for the children of the island, but for himself. That is another thing about this film: communication. I mention before how it’s practically thin at first due to a long going feud that isn’t even aware of why it’s still going. The joy in hate is only for hatred’s sake, and they make it very clear how miserable it all feels. That is where Jesper comes in. They don’t take shortcuts with how he gets the ball rolling, both accidentally and purposefully, he boots up to get things done, pushes himself to go to Klaus to make things happen. This is all in part by the youth, what really ties the plot together...

As I mentioned before (again), life in Smeerensburg is noticeably miserable but thanks to Klaus, by extension Jesper, the kids are enticed to do what it takes to get some genuine joy in their lives through the toys they’re able to get. They’ll make them letters, and if they can’t write, they’ll go to Alva for teachings, and if they act naughty, they’ll try to do good which in turn pushes the adults to do good for the sake of their kids. It really would’ve been one thing to sure enough make the kids spoiled because of the toy giving, focusing more on the extrinsic value of Klaus’s kindness but no. The children are very grateful for these gifts enough to feel compelled to do good, and it makes them feel good as much as it soon makes the adults more convinced to stop fighting. It helps that this all takes place in older times cuz I believe this would’ve been far different, possibly worse, if this took place in modern times. That or just kinda rip off Arthur Christmas, it’s my guess. As such, it gradually becomes an amazing Christmas film because it isn’t just the presents, the Santa Claus myth, the festive style of it all that makes this holiday special to me. It’s the warmth... of togetherness.

My favorite detail about Klaus is how it transitions from cold to warm with its atmosphere. We start out with the emptiest, harshest environment, enough fog to choke your eyes, and then we get to this moment with a brighter, clearer sight of the more united town as the Christmas spirit builds in the film, even when it isn’t even that day yet in-universe, so too does the warmhearted feeling that can come from celebrating it appear more and more. This film fleshes out more of what the Grinch taught me, what A Charlie Brown Christmas taught me, what I’ve come to appreciate about Christmas as I grew up in this materialistic world. I can say everyday can have the Holiday spirit, but Christmas is the time where I feel compelled to be grateful of what I’ve made and got and give back when honestly, I don’t care about getting the most expensive stuff anymore like I used to when I was way younger. This film is so sincere in what it wants to say, and you know this is indeed the same guy that made Minions. Yeah, not kidding and I’ll let you sit with that if you’re reading this as I continue because we have to talk about that moment...

Yeah, I don’t like being the Nostalgia Critic, but I too don’t take kindly to the ‘liar reveal’ trope myself and this could’ve been a point where the film lost me a little. Though you know what? It still works. See, with that trope, what sucks is that it can tend to unravel the plot to where you know as soon as they break apart, they’ll get back together regardless of the deed done. This is why I don’t like A Bug’s Life, don’t @ me. But I’m not saying it can’t done right, like in Over the Hedge. The breakup between Jesper and the others is painful, but it is necessary to give us a couple great character moments. One is with Jesper and his dad, who came back personally to see that Jesper has indeed built something for himself. We get no dialogue between them but it’s clear that even when Jesper’s unintentionally successful thanks to Yzma and Bubba, he can tell his son wasn’t happy leaving everything behind, so he lets him stay since that was what he truly wanted this whole time. Again, give that man some credit for amazing dad. Another moment comes before the big reveal where not only do we see Jesper come to understand his own guilt surrounding his original intentions, but in the end they never hated him for coming back, especially due to him inadvertently stopping the enemy feud all together. Lastly, without that moment, we probably wouldn’t have got this smile. When Margu, purest character ever that I could make a whole segment about but I don’t wanna keep you too long, started to tear up after calling for Jesper thinking he left for good but she then sees our guy never really left and we get this teary smile:

I felt that. Almost more than anything else in this film.

Cliched as it can appear, the execution excels in those more memorable emotions for this film. It’s been a year since I watched this again and I remember so much about these characters. And my god, I haven’t even gotten to the animation which... my god.

Klaus is indeed the most beautiful upon beautiful films I’ve seen, and what makes it better is that it all enhances the story. I mention before of its transitional visual from cold to warm sights, but goddamn, the character designs, the environments, the expressiveness, the textures all amount to style perfect for this alone. I think it would’ve as well received if it had a more flat look, but they seriously went higher for a traditional appealing story that compliments the unique children’s storybook look of it all. This honestly is better than most of modern Disney films that I’ve seen, ironic since it feels like if you took Tangled the Series and made it 3D with more fluid character animation. And if I’m comparing something to the continuous mindblower that’s Tangled the Series, you’ve most certainly got on my best side.

Sergio Pablos and his team really pulled no punches in making this a great movie. A great Christmas movie, one worth seeing if not at least once but every Holiday season for tradition’s sake. Klaus gave me a good time, made me cry, and above all showed me to never stop having a good heart because doing good can indeed go far, thankless as it can be. Heck, my heart felt more rejuvenated than before in making this critique, that’s a testament to how much good this film means to me personally. What else is there to say?

It's The Best

#Klaus #Klaus movie #klaus netflix #Klaus 2019 #movies #art #animation #Christmas #holidays #xmas #analysis #long post #reviews #Good Stuff

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catiuapavel · 3 years

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for the ask meme: tactics ogre & final fantasy tactics lol

Tactics Ogre

the character i least understand

I will say if I were Vernotta, I'd simply push my ugly husband the king down the stairs and forgive the handmaiden he had great power and influence over but I guess you can't make much out of a royal with 5 lines and a half who is only ever seen treating a servant cruelly.

interactions i enjoyed the most

I love Catiua's interactions with and about the Dark Knights but more so with Lanselot's. The understanding she shows of him and the genuine admiration she has for his methods, even after he abandons her... It holds something over me. He also understands her and uses this to further his goals but I also thinks he underestimates how much she gets him in return.

I always have this praise she has for him on Princess route when she meets Barbas and martym in the Hanging Gardens in mind and the respect she has for what he accomplished in Lodis and for how he intended to put her on the throne. She parallels him in a few aspects and she proves this with this dialogue.

I also appreciate Catiua and Denam's exhanges a great deal. A lot of care was put into writing a convincing yet trouble adoptive sibling dynamic.

the character who scares me the most

Oz? In a morbid "I would still let him remove my fingernails one by one" way. I'm enthralled yet also terrified.

Otherwise... Barbas.

the character who is mostly like me

(looks endearingly at Chaos Vyce) He's just like me......

In truth 90% of Vyce's character couldn't be less like me but he has this one line in his duel on Chaos route that has made me feel seen and understood in a rare way and echoed my own complicated feelings on a shared trauma so as a result, he's the character who is mostly like me.

hottest looks character

dating me is crazy like you really have to be at peace with the fact that you're a placeholder until I meet ozma moh glacius

one thing i dislike about my fave character

I once read that Matsuno would have liked to add 3 entire routes to chapter 4 for Vyce, Denam and Catiua and ever since I read this I cry myself to sleep at how interesting a hypothetical entire Princess route could have been. Alas, games do not have eternal budgets and eternal time for development.

one thing i like about my hated character

I do not know if I have a most hated character but at the bottom of the "people I do not care about" list is Bayin.

Bayin always hates me, no matter the playthrough. I have to respect him for that. Seethe more, old man.

a quote or scene that haunts me

Imagine you have been playing this game for years and jumping back through anchor points over and over and you look at your timeline one day in the Warren report to see the sidequests you've completed and you see a lost character icon somewhere and the scene description does not sound remotely familiar. It's a scene that's somehow appeared because you never properly completed a sidequest in one of your many re-plays.

You watch it. You feel hollow. You understand why this was so far hidden in the report. You lay awake thinking about it at night every week.

That's the scene.

a death that left me indifferent

Xapan on chaos route. I mean, good for you Vyce for passing your nerves on him!

a character i wish died but didn’t

Wait, you mean there are characters who make it out unscathed? The thing about Tactics Ogre is that you may just get your character death wish in another route- or you can kill them yourselves if they're recruitable.

That being daid I would like nothing more than to see Balxephon dead in an upcoming sequel, in the way you want to see a character you adore die the miserable death they deserve.

my ship that never sailed

Most of my Tactics Ogre ships didn't sail but I usually like them one-sided, dead, miserable or downright toxic so I don't usually care to see them sail.

I will however say I desperately wanted Canopus/Andoras to sail (clenches fist)

----

Final Fantasy Tactics

the character i least understand

I think maybe... Argath? I can't understand being this much of a little bitch sorry.

interactions i enjoyed the most

Naturally I enjoyed Ovelia and Delita's interactions the most, I think theirs may be the most interesting ones in the game, I especially loved to see how it spiraled down in the end and he became gradually less aware to how miserable he was making her yet how you could read some genuine care toward her which she could no longer perceive herself.

Also the way she misunderstands him in the end and thinks him to be more callous than he actually is, like in this scene where she spies on him and interprets him to murder Valmafra in cold blood simply because she lacks a clear view on the event, is so good. It's a tragedy how they both can't read the other in the end and harm each other as a result (And I eat this up).

the character who scares me the most

I mean anyone should be rightfully terrified of any of the Lucavi for a start but I have to say, were I to dine with Dycedarg, I'd be terrified to touch my plate.

the character who is mostly like me

I asked my boyfriend this question and he replied "Tietra, because she is cute... and has brown hair... and probably reads books" which I find hilarious so I will roll with it. I guess she looks most like me at the very least?

Generally there is often something about the way Matsuno explores family issue, especially between siblings, that's just relatable in a way not many other games are. And for this reason I always relate to Rapha in how she feels about Marach.

hottest looks character

Zalbaag Beoulve (fans self). He isn't my usual type but he has something of an aura.

one thing i dislike about my fave character

My favourite character is Delita and what I truly hate about Delita is that I cannot make a joke about Delita's wrongdoings without the most annoying Delita haters and Delita lovers showing up in my mentions to fight because they have no humour.

They're coming for me already, I have to go.

one thing i like about my hated character

I absolutely love how Barrington gets thrown off the building. There he goes!

a quote or scene that haunts me

Did you get your end in all of this, Ramza? I... I got this.

😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

a death that left me indifferent

Sadly I feel nothing when the Templars die (at the exception of Isilud and Wiegraf). I just kill the rest and move on.

a character i wish died but didn’t

Must we ask for more casualties......

Oh Ovelia apparently? Maybe ? Sometimes I recall how you sent me this article about how Matsuno intended for her to survive the epilogue and I simply prefer my miserable interpretation so that is what I will stick to.

my ship that never sailed

Alma/Ovelia sometimes you just want girls to find love together in their lonely convent

#tactics ogre #final fantasy tactics #EDIT :#long post #sorry i was writing this in between texting and I didn't control the lenght

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thereisnochillinsideme · 3 years

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Chasing Rainbows (Yuri Plisetsky x Reader)

Hi, so I made my first post recently and all of you have already been so so supportive and I thank you so much. This will be my first fic. It’s between Yuri Plisetsky and a female reader who is a pianist and part of the deaf community. i thought it was a very interesting idea when I thought of it and I wanted to share it. i asked a friend of mine who is a member of said community to help me with accuracy because I myself am not part of it. i just wanted to try out writing it. I don’t think I’ve put in anything offensive, but in the beginning, when Lilia asks the reader to play piano for Yuri, Yuri asks how she is supposed to know what she is doing. I don’t think it’s very offensive, but if the community finds it offensive, please let me know and I will take down this post immediately. There are also parts in which I want to imply that the dialogue is in sign language, because I don’t want to write out the character signing each letter. Anything in italics is dialogue in sign language, anything with the regular quotation marks are spoken dialogue, and any thoughts from the characters have just one apostrophe at beginning and end instead of quotations. I figured since Russia is where Yuri and reader are, specifically St. Petersburg, I’ve made her use Russian Sign Language and typed out according to that, though I don’t know if I made any mistakes. Please alert me if I have so I can change it. I also didn’t want to assume anything about physical appearance, so I’ve left hair length, hair color, eye color, and skin tone open to interpretation. I don’t own Yuri, but I own the story and Y/n’s personality. That said, please read and enjoy and give me any feedback! Also, my asks are open and I don’t have too many ideas right now, so please request something! Enjoy!

Yuri Plisetsky wasn’t a very big fan of people.

There wasn’t really much wrong with them, it’s just that they were distracting and he was ultra-focused on reaching his goals.

There were a couple of them that he could stand, like his grandfather and his coaches to a certain degree. But in the grand scheme of things, Yuri Plisetsky decided to mostly stay away from people.

This is why he was so annoyed with his ballet coaches new announcement.

“A live pianist? What for?” Lilia rubbed her temples in exasperation. “You have trouble expressing certain emotions during your performances. Some come naturally, but others don’t. The music is what determines the emotion you’re trying to express, so what better way to help with that then to see the person making that music.”

Yuri groaned. “They’ll just slow me down and make mistakes! The recorded playing is enough for me! I don’t need a person!” Lilia looked at him with an annoyed expression.

“Do you remember what you said to me the first time we met? ‘If selling my soul is what it takes to win, I’ll give you this body, no holds barred.’ Are you going back on your word? If you’ll really do whatever it takes to win, this should be no problem.”

Yuri looked down and nodded his head. I guess I can find some way to deal with this.

Lilia smiled. “Good, you’ll meet her tomorrow.”

Yuri internally groaned again. Her? It was a girl? Great. She’ll probably fangirl over me so much I won’t get time to practice.

The next morning, Lilia informed him that the pianist would be joining them in the studio shortly, as she would be a bit late. Yuri was hoping she wouldn’t come at all.

But alas, his prayers were unheard when there was a knock at the studio door. Lilia immediately opened it to reveal a girl with h/l, h/c hair, e/c eyes, and a very cold and stoic expression, a red lollipop sticking out of the right side of her mouth. He noticed that strangely, she had gloves on.

The brown leather outlined the shape of her fingers so he had a slight idea of what her hand was like, but he wondered what she was hiding under the soft leather.

After she opened the door, Lilia began doing some strange hand signs that Yuri didn’t recognize. She moved her hands around rapidly, pointing at Yuri a couple times so the girl turned her attention towards him. She peeked out from behind Lilia and raised a gloved hand in greeting, the stoic expression never leaving. He nodded an acknowledgement, wondering if she knew who he was.

When Lilia finished her hand signs, the girl replied with some of her own. She then walked to the sleek black piano in the corner of the room and began running her gloved fingers over the keys. Yuri decided to try and talk to her, see if she was a fangirl.

“Hey,” He called out in her direction. it seemed like she wasn’t listening. All her attention was on the keyboard, running the smooth leather over the ivory keys.

“Hey!” He tried again.

Lilia walked over to him and began watching you as well. “She can’t hear you.”

Yuri was confused.

“What is she, deaf?”

“Yes,” Lilia replied

Yuri was very confused. How were you supposed to play the piano if you couldn’t hear? He couldn’t risk anything right now, he needed to win the Grand Prix!

“How the hell is she supposed to play the piano if she can’t hear?! She’s going to slow me down!! She doesn’t even talk, she just does her weird little hand signs!! i need someone who knows what they’re doing!!”

At this point, the girl had stopped looking at the keys and turned her attention towards Yuri yelling at Lilia. She looked to Lilia, silently questioning with her hands what Yuri had said. Lilia launched into rapid sign language, explaining everything Yuri had said. Yuri watched her expression, expecting her to cry or something. What he wasn’t ready for was her reaction.

As Lilia finished explaining, Yuri waited for the tears to start dripping down her face. Instead though, he heard a clear scoff come from her throat. He looked at her in surprise, hearing a crack as she bit down sharply on her red lollipop. She made your way over to him and grabbed him by the shirt collar with one gloved hand, bringing her face centimeters away from his. “H-hey! Put me down!”He could smell her cherry lollipop on her breath as she opened her mouth. He froze once he heard words streaming out.

“For the record, I can speak, pretty boy. I just don’t prefer to. I can communicate much more effectively through BSL. Yeah, I’m deaf, you got a problem with that? I may not be able to hear, but I can confidently tell you that I am the best pianist you can get around here. You want someone who can hear, don’t you? Someone who ‘knows what they’re doing’.” She said the words in a mocking tone. “No one but me decides whether I play for you or not. And you’ve just showed me that you’re not worth my time. Go settle for some second-rate pianist and have fun prancing around. I have stuff to do.” She dropped him down like a sack of potatoes, signed a quick goodbye to Lilia, and walked to the door.

Before she left, she stopped for a minute and looked back, quickly taking the lollipop out of her mouth. “Stop hiding behind your red.” She said, popping it back in. She walked out without a second glance

Lilia looked at the boy, still frozen, lying on the ground, barely hearing what the girl had said. Lilia pinched the bridge of her nose. “You just lost a very good pianist. I can try to find someone else, but they won’t be as good as her. I hope you realize what you just did. Now get back to practice, we’ll use recordings for today.”

After practice, Yuri began to think of the girl. If she couldn’t hear her own playing, how on earth would she know if she was playing well or not? It was impossible!

As he lay on his bed, he began to think more about the encounter he had with her, the bright red cherry lollipop peeking out of pearly white teeth, the light scent of leather wafting into his nose from the glove holding firmly on his shirt collar, what might have happened had she brought her face… just… a bit… closer…

His face immediately turned red as he covered his face in exasperation. What on earth was he thinking?! Why would he want to do… that… with her of all people?! He had only seen her today and she threatened him and left the studio!

Stop it Yuri. You shouldn’t be thinking such stupid things. You have a Grand Prix to win. You have to beat the piggy.

Lilia knocked on his door. “Come down for dinner. Are you sick? You’re as red as borscht!”

“I’m fine! Be down soon.” Lilia left as Yuri splashed cold water on his face, trying to rid himself of thoughts of you.

The next morning, Lilia brought in a new girl named Katerina. She was a bit of a fangirl, but Yuri figured he could deal with that.

At least she could hear her own playing.

During their practice, Katerina messed up the combinations at least 3 times each, Lilia making them start over every time this happened. By the end, Yuri’s legs felt like jelly and he had yelled at Katerina 7 times. The minute Lilia said she could leave, she ran out the door, hastily grabbing her things. At least now she knew why they called him the Russian Punk.

Yuri looked at Lilia staring critically on him as he lay on the floor, desperately trying to catch his breath.

“Couldn’t you *pant* find *pant* anyone *pant* better?’

“You had that chance before, you just threw it away.”

Yuri groaned, she was still going on about that.

“Just how good can a deaf person be at piano anyways?”

Lilia sighed. “You want to see?”

She pointed at the studio window that overlooked the street. Over on the other side was the girl walking with her lollipop and gloves. Even from here, her usual stoic expression was still visible. It never left her face.

“Follow her. Don’t let her see you. If you don’t take my word on her playing, you’ll have to see it yourself.”

Yuri sighed, but not questioning his instructor, he put on his jacket and walked out into the cold night, following the girl and her red lollipop. He hid in the dark corners they passed so that she couldn’t see him and pulled his jacket over his head, covering his tiger shirt. He shadowed her until they got to a small café, lit up by the string lights outside. He wondered why Lilia would make him follow her to a café, but not one to question his instructor, he crept inside, making sure she couldn’t see him.

The entire café greeted her with a yell. “Y/n!” they said. Y/n. So that’s her name. I never even got to learn it. He thought. He then wondered why he was thinking that because he would never have to use her name. Though she couldn’t hear, Y/n seemed to know they were greeting her and raised a gloved hand to return the gesture, her stoic expression still there during her greeting. He went and sat in a far corner of a café watching the girl with bored eyes. She walked up to the counter and gave some signs to the cashier, who returned them with some of her own and a bag with a single cheese danish inside. Yuri wondered why his instructor had sent him to follow this girl and watch her buy a danish. Nevertheless, he continued watching her.

He had nothing to do, after all.

As she was about to sign a goodbye to the cashier, he saw a small kid, around 6 years old, tug at the leg of her pants. She bent down to his height and tilted her head, silently asking him what he wanted. Yuri watched as he brought his hands up in front of him, making shaky hand gestures while still speaking to her out loud. “Miss Y/n… would you… play for us a little bit?” Yuri watched her. He saw something strange. Y/n’s stoic expression was slowly contorting. Her lips turning upwards and her eyes growing softer. She nodded a yes with a smile on her face. She ruffled the boy’s hair and held his hand as she walked to the piano at the back of the café. She sat on the bench and the boy sat beside her. She looked at him anticipation, waiting for him to pick something for her to play. He pulled some sheet music out of the bag laying next to the piano and handed it to her. She only looked at the first page for a split second, reading the title before nodding and handing it back. Finally, finger by finger, she pulled off the leather gloves. Yuri could see nothing at all different about her hands. They were just like anyone else’s hands, covered in s/c skin, with the lithe fingers of a musician. Yuri and the boy sitting next to Y/n watched her hands as she lifted them and placed them lightly on the keys. She lifted them again, preparing to start the song.

The minute her fingers pressed down on the keys, Yuri could no longer hear the notes. He only heard a sound. It was a beautiful sound, but he couldn’t really identify it. He didn’t hear the combinations of the notes she pressed, he heard music. It was less of what he was hearing and more of what he was feeling. It was just something in the way that she played the notes. Maybe it was how hard she pressed the keys, or when she pushed the pedal. No, it’s not any of that. He thought. It was the feeling she put into the music. The music brought him back to a memory. He was laughing, eating pirozhkis with his grandpa. He didn’t know what they were laughing about and he didn’t care. He was just happy to be there, with the person he loves. But how could she, someone who doesn’t even know him, be able to bring him back to such a precious, private memory with her playing? He then began to realize that it wasn’t the memory that she was conveying.

It was the feelings tethered to that memory.

There was love, and there was a second feeling. He would try to put it into words if he could, but it only felt like one thing.

Home.

He fell deeper into the haze of memories she threw him in, thinking about all the things he did with his grandpa back home. The playing made him feel like he was actually there, with his grandpa next to him, sitting with him after a practice ran late, eating pirozhki, laughing over something stupid.

He looked around at the people around him, all smiling fondly and he realized that the feeling she conveyed wasn’t just for him. It reached everyone. For him, that memory was of him and his grandfather. For the two men at the other table it was something else. It was a different memory for the 5 kids and 3 women as well.

It amazed Yuri, how she was able to make a simple combination of notes on an instrument convey such an intense feeling and hold such a personal meaning for every person in the room. He now realized why Lilia wanted her to help with the emotions.

Y/n gave a hug to the little boy and walked out with her cheese danish. After regaining his composure, Yuri left as well and went back to Lilia’s house. Lilia met him at the door, not asking any questions. But, as he walked by her, she quickly pulled his hood down, allowing her to see his face. “Your red, it’s fading. You did hear her play.” Yuri was confused by the words, but shrugged them off because he was tired. He walked up the stairs to his room, letting the love that still enveloped him deteriorate with each step.

The next day, after another mistake-filled practice with Katerina, Yuri crept behind Y/n again to hear her play at the café again. He did the same the day after that, and the day after that. The routine was like clockwork. Practice finished, and he followed the girl with her red lollipop and gloves. Every night it was a different piece that resurfaced a different memory. Songs with love, tranquility, joy and others. He would always keep his face straight, but let the emotion wash over him. Tonight, it was one filled with intense anger. With a different piece came a different memory. He began to remember when he had lost Victor to the piggy back in Hasetsu, even though he thought he had finally found his Agape. Agape wasn’t easy for him and finding it was one of the hardest things he had to do. The piggy didn’t even know how to perform Eros and he won with it by thinking of a pork cutlet bowl. They were good, but they shouldn’t have been good enough to make him win! It wasn’t fair. Victor always broke his promises. He remembered how he walked out of the competition early because it was painfully obvious that the piggy won.

He clenched his fists so hard his knuckles grew paler than they already were, which seemed impossible. He thought of how close Victor was with the piggy, how the piggy would be the one doing the routines Victor created, how he was not even sure that he could beat the piggy now that he had Victor. He didn’t even notice when you ended the piece, still stuck in a haze of red. He didn’t notice when the man at the table near him started crying, muttering something about his former wife. All he noticed was his own anger, all he could see was red.

Until he noticed,

He wasn’t supposed to be seeing red.

He was supposed to see the dark yellow hiding behind it.

She wasn’t conveying anger.

She was conveying betrayal.

The music was rapid and fast-paced, but it had an undertone of sorrow and longing.

Yuri wasn’t mad at Victor.

He was sad.

Sad that his trust was broken.

Sad that he couldn’t rely on him.

Y/n began playing something else.

Through the sorrow, Yuri began to listen.

At this point, he didn’t know what to feel.

The piece permeated his being, he could feel it through every part of his body.

It was the most beautiful piece he had ever heard in his entire life.

Yuri didn’t know what chords were in the piece, or how fast it was, or even if it was being played wrong.

All he heard was music.

Music in its purest form.

He had no idea what it was supposed to make him feel.

Yuri realized, it wasn’t supposed to make him feel anything at all.

The music was just music.

Music is just a combination of notes put in a certain order.

The emotions didn’t come from there.

They came from the person making the music.

He finally understood why he had trouble expressing certain emotions in competition.

It was like the colors.

He had all of them, an entire palette like everyone else. He was afraid that they weren’t pretty enough for other people to see, so he covered all of them with a thick curtain of red.

But here was Y/n.

She was here, showing off her rainbow to everyone else, letting them know that they had the rainbow inside.

Letting him know that she could see past his red.

Some people don’t like certain colors.

There are those who dislike red, some who hate blue, a couple who can’t stand the sight of purple.

But there are those who love those same colors.

Which side are you supposed to cater to?

You can’t please everybody.

You don’t need to please anyone at all.

You possess all the colors and you can use all of them as you wish, you can create.

We are rainbows.

We are humans.

The realization overtook his body. His eyes started to water. The tears started coming out and he didn’t even try to stop them. This was how he felt and he needed to accept it. The red curtain was blown away as he saw the rainbow inside of him. His sadness, joy, love, everything.

He was no longer a red cloud.

He was a rainbow.

She opened him.

The feelings swallowed him as she ended the piece, walking to the counter to get her danish.

But before she left, she walked straight to the table he was sitting at, tapping him on the forehead. “Oi, pretty boy, get up. Lilia’s probably worried. “

Yuri was surprised. How did she know it was him?! As if she was reading his mind, she replied. “You aren’t very good at creeping around and the hood does little to hide your face. Walk with me.” Dumbfounded and still dazed, Yuri got up and obeyed Y/n, walking next to her. She took out her lollipop, which was now nothing more than a stick, and threw it out. She picked the danish out of the bag and bit into it as they walked out of the café. They walked a bit in silence before they came across a ledge overlooking the nearby canal. Y/n sat down and patted the spot next to her, gesturing for Yuri to do the same. He obediently sat and watched the water move. She took another bite out of the danish before offering it to him. He took a small bite and leaned back, continuing to watch the water.

Soon, she began to speak.

“I noticed you the first time you followed me. i didn’t say anything because I knew it was Lilia’s doing.”

She turned her head, making direct eye contact with him for the first time since the day in the studio. Her eyes reflected the yellow from the dim streetlamps that surrounded the canal.

“Give me your hand.” She said simply.

Yuri agreed though he was still confused. She began tracing the lines on his palm before stopping at a specific one.

“You see that?” She asked. He nodded. “This is where your nails have left imprints on your palms, meaning you clench your fists a lot. It shows me how angry you get.”

She then tapped a covered finger between his eyebrows. “There’s a crease here, meaning you frown a lot.” She brought that finger down to the side of his lips. “You also have this small wrinkle here, showing that your lips are usually angled downward, adding to the frowning.” Her gloved fingers stayed there, brushing over the dent in his skin. He began to turn red when he realized the position they were in. She seemed to notice too, quickly retracting her hand, trying to hide the extremely faint blush on her face.

“W-what I mean is, if anyone looks at you for a couple seconds, they can see the small signs that tell how much you get angry."

“Your anger is a force to be reckoned with, that’s clear to see. But you give it too much power so that it shrouds your other emotions. Many people are like that. We all have one emotion that usually overpowers our others. The trick is learning how to control it as much as your others. The emotions you are composed of are what make you human. Your humanity is not something you invalidate.”

She stood up. “Lilia will get worried soon, you should get back.”

As he stood up as well, she stopped him and brushed the hair away from his eyes. She stared into them, and surprisingly, let out a soft giggle. He gave her a questioning look. “Your red.” She said. “It’s cleared.” She tucked the hair behind his ear and walked off in the opposite direction, leaving Yuri to think about her for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Yuri went to the studio, expecting another day filled with Katerina and mistakes. What he didn’t expect to see was Y/n with her gloves off playing warm-up scales on the piano. He looked at her in awe as Lilia made her way over to whisper in his ear. “We somehow got her back, don’t botch this up again.”

Practice went perfectly that day. Y/n never made a mistake with what she was asked to play, and Yuri began to let his emotions take the lead in the dance. He was slow to accept them at first, but gradually let them in. Once practice ended, Yuri walked up to Y/n and tapped her on the shoulder. She looked at him, wondering what he wanted.

He brought his hand up, closing it into a fist. He then brought his fist to his chest and moved it in a circular motion. Y/n’s eyes widened.

He was saying sorry.

Yuri then brought his open hand to his chin and then moved it forward, clearly mouthing two words so that she could read his lips.

Thank you.

Y/n remained in shock for a minute and Yuri feared he had done something wrong. ‘Damn YouTube video!! They probably gave me the wrong gestures! What if I said something offensive?!’

The thoughts stopped streaming in when he heard Y/n speak again. “No problem pretty boy. Just refrain from saying anything stupid. Now I have a danish waiting for me. Want to come?”

Yuri nodded, following Y/n out of the studio.

He stopped her once again outside the café, a strange look on his face. “Got something to say?” She asked. He nodded. “If you enunciate well enough, I can lip-read.”

He opened his mouth. “That day, what I said to you about you not ‘knowing what you were doing’, I’m sorry. I’ve been under so much pressure for my senior debut and I was scared that you might slow me down. You are an amazing pianist and I shouldn’t have judged you like that. I know i insulted the entire deaf or hard-of-hearing community and I sincerely apologize.”

Y/n nodded. “Just because I’m deaf doesn’t mean I can’t do stuff like any other normal person. Don’t worry, I accept your apology. Just don’t say anything like that again, pretty boy.”

Yuri nodded in understanding and continued into the café for Y/n’s daily performance.

After that day, the boy’s routine changed a bit. He would wake up and go to practice, but afterwards, instead of hiding in alleyways trying not to be seen, Yuri would walk side by side with Y/n, talking and laughing on the way. He would enunciate his words more clearly so she could lip-read and understand him. He also started taking some online sign-language courses so that he could communicate with her more effectively. Their conversations were mixes of a few words and signs, but in the end, both understood each other perfectly. Y/n started to carry around two cherry lollipops, one for Yuri. Yuri would carry around an extra jacket for Y/n, who frequently forgot to wear one. “Seriously dumbass! Who remembers to wear gloves but not a jacket?!” “Me.” “You’re an idiot.”

Every night, Yuri would sit in on Y/n’s performances and they would share the danish on the way home. They would sign a goodnight at the canal and repeat it all over the next day.

Their conversations were of anything they could find to talk about, resulting in both knowing extremely random things about each other. ‘Y/n only wears the gloves because she’s really prone to dry skin. Yuri has three cat-ear headbands. Y/n doesn’t even know that she looks mean. Her stoic face is just her resting face. Yuri believes conspiracy theories. Y/n has a least favorite multiple of three, it’s 27. Yuri has a pair of fluorescent orange socks with cats all over them. Y/n’s feet are cold 24/7 because she doesn’t like wearing socks. She thinks they feel weird.’

Eventually, one day, Yuri decided to go to the rink and skate as a change of pace. He also decided to bring Y/n with him.

Can you skate? He signed as he watched her lace up her skates. “I can move around without falling, if that’s what you mean.” She steadily replied out loud.

Y/n stood at the side of the rink as she watched Yuri perform the Agape that failed him back at Hasetsu. His movements were perfect, but the emotion was not. The movements, aside from being perfect, were so sharp and harsh that Y/n physically winced. Yuri had vented to her many times about the incident at Hasetsu involving Victor and the other Yuuri, so she had a basic idea of the situation. As he finished, she gestured for him to come over. This is the routine from back at Hasetsu, correct? She signed. He nodded. Your agape isn’t there. You’re letting the anger from the incident cloud the entire routine so it becomes angry. Don’t think about Victor during the routine. Think of your agape. Yuri nodded and tried the routine again. This time, his movements were still perfect, but more fluid and beautiful. Y/n smiled. Now this is agape.

As they made their way back, through broken signs and a couple words, Yuri explained his desire to beat the other Yuuri at his next competition. Y/n giggled. She thought it was cute, the way that Yuri referred to people by little sign language nicknames he made for them instead of spelling out their names. He referred to Victor as just V in sign language, not wanting to spell out his name. He referred to the other Yuri by putting an open palm under his chin and curling and uncurling his knuckles, the sign for pig. He referred to Yakov as old man, and Lilia as scary ballerina. She wondered how he would refer to her. One day, when she got curious enough, she asked him. She expected him to do something silly, but instead, he hooked his index fingers together and shook his fists twice.

Best friend

Y/n felt a rush of happiness. This was the first time anyone had called her their friend, much less their best friend. She immediately hugged Yuri and felt him stiffen under her. He was frozen for a few seconds, but eventually, he wrapped his arms around her, muttering “Don’t go all soft on me now.” even though he knew she couldn’t hear him. She could see the blush on his face when she pulled away, but she decided not to mention it in hopes of hugging him more often. She blushed at the thought she just had. Why did she want to continue hugging Yuri?

Y/n brushed off the thought and continued walking with Yuri as he changed the subject by asking her a different question.

Slowly, Y/n began to get more comfortable with Yuri, the same with Yuri. One day, he finally plucked up the courage to ask her something he had been wondering for a very long time.

If you don’t mind me asking, how can you speak so well?

Y/n smiled sadly at the question as she signed back.

I was born with hearing, but it slowly deteriorated due to a medical condition. When I was 9, it went away entirely. I could already speak quite well and I just learned sign language.

Y/n gave Yuri a moment to register what she said because he was still a beginner when it came to sign language. She then continued when he nodded.

I always loved to play piano. I stopped for some time after I lost my hearing because I was afraid of making mistakes. Eventually, I realized that hearing wasn’t what was stopping me from making music. It was me who was stopping myself. Mind over matter. Once I broke down my personal barriers, I could play again. I’ve applied to a couple conservatories recently to see if I could play professionally.

Yuri stopped walking and held Y/n’s hand as he stared into her eyes. Something wrong? She asked. He put a hand on her cheek as he continued staring into her eyes. It’s blue, isn’t it? He signed. Your dominant color. Sorrow. Y/n nodded.

I know i said all that stuff about mind over matter, but almost everyday, I wish I could hear at least one note that I play. I would give anything at all to hear the music.

Yuri moved forward and wrapped his arms around Y/n as a few tears dripped from her eyes. It was still, quiet, except for Y/n’s barely audible sobs echoing in the empty street. Suddenly, Yuri felt something drop on his head. He looked up to see a drizzle starting, eventually becoming full-on rain. Y/n slowly pulled away as she felt it too. As she looked at the rain coming from above, she began to smile. She grabbed Yuri’s hands.

Dance with me, she signed.

Yuri laughed. There’s no music.

So? Who needs it. I certainly don’t.

Yuri scoffed at the girl’s silly behavior before putting his hands on her waist while she did the same on his shoulders. They swayed slightly, Y/n moving forward to rest her head on Yuri’s chest, his chin on top of her head. Both were blushing, neither could see. They just lived in the moment, each relishing the feeling of the other in their arms.

After some time, Y/n pulled away. I don’t want you to catch a cold. We should get home.

Yuri grabbed onto her wrist. Wait.

I wanted to tell you something.

Then say it. She was always so blunt.

I would’ve, but I believe actions speak much louder than words you can’t hear.

Y/n raised an eyebrow. What did he mean?

Yuri tilted the girl’s chin up, moving forward until his lips met her own.

If someone told Y/n the day she met Yuri Plisetsky, that one day she’d be kissing him in the rain, his arms holding her as if she’d disappear once he let go, she would’ve drop-kicked them to Japan.

But right now, she wasn’t thinking of the ironicity of the situation, or even what would happen after the kiss. She was thinking of what she could do to make sure Yuri Plisetsky didn’t stop kissing her. As they continued, Yuri reached for her hand, only to pull off her glove and stick it in his pocket. He did the same to her other hand as she took her bare hand and tangled it in the soft blond mass of hair, lifting it away so she could see Yuri’s perfect green eyes. But she wasn’t going to see them. She was too afraid to open her eyes, fearing that once she did, she would discover that all of this wasn’t real and she was still alone.

But as she felt Yuri’s lips on her own, his hands on her waist, she had a sudden rush of courage. She slowly opened her eyes, only to be met by Yuri’s own green ones, there, clear as day. Tears started streaming down her face, mixing with the rain. Yuri immediately noticed and pulled away. What’s wrong?

Nothing. I’m just so happy. I thought I would open my eyes and you wouldn’t be there, or you’d disappear-

Yuri pulled her into him and held her tight. He kissed the top of her head as she buried her face into his chest. He held her there tightly so she wouldn’t see the tears on his own face as he, knowing she couldn’t hear him, bent next to her ear and whispered “I’m right here.”

He shivered and pulled away, signing at her. We’re going to catch a cold dumbass! Why do you like rain so much anyway?

Y/n looked up at him, a smile on her face, holding up shaky hands.

After the rain, comes the rainbow.

After that day, Yuri’s routine was altered a bit more. It was still mostly the same, he would have practice in the mornings, walk to Y/n’s performances, but it was different in the little ways, which he liked.

He liked how he now held Y/n’s gloveless hand on the way to the café as they continued to talk and laugh over whatever they could find. He liked how he walked her out of the café with an arm around her waist. He liked how they spent a few extra minutes at the canal, watching the water and stealing kisses before leaving.

He never wanted it to end.

But it did.

Yuri finally got his assignments.

On the same day, Y/n got an offer from a piano conservatory in England.

Both were panicking.

Neither knew about the other.

They were too afraid to leave each other behind.

The walk to the café that day was quiet, both were thinking of how to tell the other.

They tried to put it off as long as possible.

After Y/n played at the café, they ended up blurting it out at the same time.

Neither knew what to say.

Y/n made the first move. She walked forward and wrapped Yuri in a hug as he hugged back. She pulled away.

I’m so proud of you! She signed.

And I’m proud of you! He replied.

You’ve made such amazing progress with your agape and I know how amazing you are. You’re going to win gold! I know it!

Yuri smiled. And I know how amazing you’ll do at the Conservatory!

Yuri’s smiled started to fade. I don’t want to lose you. I want to pursue my dreams and I want you to chase your’s, but I can’t wake up every morning pining for you.

Y/n understood. The feelings were strong, but it couldn’t be like this. Both of them had their own dreams and would do anything to achieve them.

I understand Yuri. Which is why i think we should give this relationship some time. You are the right person, but it’s too early. We can both achieve our dreams and pick up where we left off. We have to chase our own rainbows.

Yuri thought about that. Skating was something he loved, but he also loved Y/n. Y/n loved her piano, but she also loved him. The relationship was nice, but he wanted to win gold, and a relationship wasn’t what he needed right now. She didn’t need it either. He nodded.

It’s probably a better idea to get our careers more on track before this. But I want you to know that I do love you. I love you so much. Never forget that.

Y/n grabbed his hand and stroked it. I love you too. More than anything.

Y/n looked down at his hand and smiled as he raised an eyebrow. What are you smiling at? Y/n pointed down at his hand.

The line I showed you that day, the one left by your nails. It’s gone. You haven’t clenched your fists as much. She lifted her hand to his face. The creases are gone too. You’ve improved Yuri! She cupped his cheek. Yuri smiled.

It’s all because of you.

You showed me my rainbow.

Y/n came to see Yuri off at the airport when he left to compete. Her flight to England would leave the next day. She grabbed Yuri’s hand right before he boarded the plane.

Don’t forget to text me. You have my number. Just because we’re on a break doesn’t mean you’re not my friend anymore, pretty boy.

Yuri laughed. I thought you stopped with that nickname.

Never, pretty boy.

Okay, I promise, now my flight will leave without me.

Fine, I’ll let you go.

As she let go and he was about to leave, she grabbed him again. He turned around.

What now?

It’s just… I love you. Don’t forget that.

Yuri rolled his eyes. I love you too idiot, and I couldn’t forget you if I tried. Now I have to board my plane.

She nodded. Go Yuri. Go chase that rainbow and don’t you dare stop.

Yuri walked to the flight attendant who then scanned his boarding pass. He looked back to see Y/n waving at him. He waved back and forced himself to leave, not looking back. Y/n did the same. It hurt for both of them, but they knew it was for the best.

4 years later…

Yuri laced on his skates while he thought about the girl waiting in the audience for him. He thought about all he had to go through those past 4 years without her. There were days when he woke up feeling horrible, needing her comfort, but unable to receive it. There were even days when he hated her. Scrolling through his Instagram to see a picture of her standing a bit too close to a male friend. He even tried to move on a couple times, agreeing to small dates with the women who flirted with him at parties. But every night, he would come home dejected because those women were not her. They knew nothing except his physical appearance. They didn’t know about his fuzzy pair of orange cat socks and they didn’t tease him about the fact that he believed in conspiracy theories because he never told them any of that stuff. He couldn’t tell them any of that stuff.

They weren’t her.

They never would be.

He couldn’t ever find someone like her, she was one of a kind.

There were days when he thought he would never feel love again.

But there was something that kept him going.

Six words

I love you. Don’t forget that.

The message she sent after he saw that photo ranting about how annoying that male classmate was, the good-luck FaceTime she gave him before every serious performance, him doing the same to her. All the little things kept him afloat.

And most of all, the promise she made him.

He was talking to her late at night, trying not to get caught by Yakov. He was ranting about how the music for his performances just never felt right to him. Yuri’s eyes were beginning to droop out of exhaustion and she saw his signs getting slightly more sloppy, he was getting sleepier. He was lying down, and as she continued signing, she saw his eyes close as he fell fast asleep. She smiled at the sight of sleeping Yuri before her. She didn’t know that he was only half asleep, so he could still hear. She did something she hadn’t done since the night she showed him his rainbow.

She spoke to him.

It was only 11 words, a promise that she didn’t expect him to hear, but he did.

“Yuri Plisetsky, I promise, one day, i will play for you.”

She then ended the call to let him sleep, not realizing that he heard you.

He kept that promise in mind during every performance, giving them all his best no matter how he felt. He was going to achieve his dreams so that he could see her again.

And he made it.

He won gold at the Olympics, breaking many records in the process.

She had become a critically acclaimed pianist, performing in a world-touring orchestra and teaching children when she had time.

Their dreams were achieved.

And now, she was there in the audience, about to see him for the first time in person after 4 years.

He still loved her.

She still loved him.

And she was keeping her promise.

He skated onto the rink, ignoring the crowd cheering and looking for only one face.

There she was,

Right in the front row, closest to the rink.

She had changed.

She no longer wore the gloves, and she didn’t carry around the red lollipop.

But it was still her.

As his name was being announced, Y/n and Yuri looked at each other.

He signed one thing to her, something he wished he could say to her again every day after he left.

I love you

Y/n signed it back

I love you too. Now kick some ass out there. I didn’t record this piece for nothing

Yuri smiled, she really hadn’t changed much at all.

He listened to the announcer.

“Now, we have Olympic gold medalist,Yuri Plisetsky, skating to “Rainbow”, an original song by the London Philharmonic Orchestra, written and conducted by Y/n L/n with a piano solo from her as well.”

Yuri took a deep breath as the starting notes of the song rung in his ears.

It was amazing.

He threw himself into the performance, every movement perfect, the love perfectly clear in every breath he took. It was the best performance of his career.

Because she was there.

As the last few notes rang out while he was in his ending pose, he was only looking at her and she was only looking at him.

They were the only two people in the world.

The score didn’t matter to him now, it didn’t matter to either of them.

She got out of her seat and threw her leg over the barrier separating you from the rink. Y/n knew it was reckless to get on the rink without skates, but she didn’t care.

Yuri skated over and caught her as she jumped over the barrier into his arms.

He was still holding her, so he couldn’t sign. Y/n read his lips instead.

“You idiot.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too idiot. You really couldn’t wait, could you?”

“I’ve waited 4 years. That’s enough.”

She grabbed his face and roughly kissed him, still in his arms, as the audience cheered.

“I kept my promise, didn’t I, I’m still here.” Yuri said with a smirk.

“Yes, you did. Why did you chase after me anyways?”

Yuri grinned.

“After all the rain comes the rainbow. i never stop chasing my rainbows."

#yuri on ice #yuri on ice x reader #yuri plisetsky #yuuri katsuki #romance #fanfic #victor nikirofov #victor x yuuri #yuri on ice fluff #yuri on ice fanfiction #yuri on ice fandom #yuri on ice fanart #x reader

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faintingheroine · 2 years

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Behlül 👀

favorite thing about them: I love him as an older brother figure to Nihal and Bülent. He is the only one who truly tries to communicate with and understand Nihal at the time. Also helps that he is the one relation of Nihal that she isn’t really possessive over, perhaps because he isn’t a fixture at the house and has a life outside it. Too bad he decides to fall in love with Nihal once she is all grown up!

least favorite thing about them: Not a fan of how he views women as flowers to be plucked and discarded at will.

favorite line: “Nihal, you unknowingly make your father sad (…) “Yes, you, tiny Nihal, you… Unknowingly, unthinkingly, a bit out of childishness, a bit out of moodiness, but primarily out of jealousy… Yes all the things you do to Bihter, all those injustices, yes, you will confess won’t you? All of those things aren’t anything but injustices. All of those fights you bring about by not being able to control your will become reasons for him to hurt”. (Perhaps I should have translated the book, I am good at this. Oh well, the dialogues are the easiest part to translate).

This is of course related to his role as an older brother figure, my favorite thing about him.

brOTP: With Nihal and Bülent. I also like him being a shady duo with Firdevs.

OTP: A relationship between him and pragmatic level-headed Peyker could be interesting to see. Peyker isn’t emotionally needy like Bihter and Nihal and he couldn’t have hurt her to that extent.

nOTP: With Nihal. Also with Bihter, they aren’t that bad a couple but the way he writes her off is so callous.

random headcanon: This is more an interpretation and an obvious one at that, but he got everything ready for him to run away before returning to Adnan Bey’s yalı for that last time on the day of Bihter’s death. There was talk of him going to Netherlands as a diplomat, perhaps he went abroad? Or to his father in the provinces.

unpopular opinion: Not really an unpopular opinion, but I think he would tire of Nihal too eventually.

song i associate with them: I guess “Bahar Geldi” is more his song anyway.

favorite picture of them: Salih Güney in the 1975 adaptation:

#aşk-ı memnu #aşk ı memnu #ask i memnu #halit ziya uşaklıgil #character ask

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feysandandnyx · 3 years

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I really hate the pregnancy plot line, to me it doesn't make any sense. In my opinion, Rhysand is being mischaracterized by hiding Feyre's pregnancy risk. However, I think Sarah's intention was to show that Rhysand is being severely affected by Feyre's pregnancy, including his ability to judge or think. Basically, he's more overprotective than usual. Rhysand all the time tries to keep Feyre safe and hassle-free. He's not making it easy for anyone, not even himself.

"Did you really need to give Nesta that death glare earlier?" He sat up, the soul of innocence. "I don't know what you're talk about, Feyre darling" - "I'd never do such a thing. You must be thinking of your other mate." 'Yes, the cruel, overprotective, half-insane one" (acosf - Sarah. K. Maas)

"You have a pregnant mate, Rhys. You’ll kill anyone that presents a threat to Feyre. You’re a danger to all of us right now". "I’d never harm someone Feyre loves. You know that." There was enough tension in the words that Cassian clapped his brother on the shoulder, squeezing the hard muscle beneath. (ACOSF - sjm)

Tonight also served another purpose: to tell the world of Feyre’s pregnancy. She wore a dress of sparkling black panels, muchlike the one she’d first worn here—and it did nothing to hide her swelling belly. No, it showed off her pregnant womb, gleaming in the candlelight. Rhys’s face was a portrait of smug, male pride. Cassian knew he’d shred anyone who so much as blinked wrong at Feyre into a million bloody ribbons. Indeed, cold violence rippled off Rhys as they walked toward the dais, Feyre’s babyrich scent filling the air. (Acosf - Sarah J. maas)

Rhysand is being a danger to himself because he can't stand the idea of hurting Feyre.

“Because I can’t bring myself to give her that fear. To take away one bit of the joy in her eyes every time she puts a hand on her belly.” His voice shook. “It is fucking eating me alive, this terror. I keep myself busy, but … there is no one to bargain with for her life, in the amount of wealth to buy it, nothing that I can do to save her.” (Acosf - Sarah J. Maas)

The secret seems to arise from the need to keep Feyre safe:

Amren threw a withering glare in Nesta’s direction, but said, “We did not wish to alarm you. Fear can be as deadly as any physical threat.” (acosf - Sarah J. maas)

But Rhysand is overreacting, because he's more overprotective than usual:

Rhysand overreacted. He completely and utterly overreacted. Cassian shook his head, though Feyre couldn’t see it. I’m sorry you had to learn of it. I’m not. I’m furious with all of you. I understand why you didn’t tell me, but I’m furious. (Acosf - Sarah J. Maas)

“I think Eris is our ally, and will expect to dance with a lady of this court at the ball no matter what. I won’t let Feyre within five feet of him, Mor might kill him, and Amren is more likely to scare him off than win him over, so you and Elain are the only options.”“Elain doesn’t go near him,” Feyre said. “And you won’t let me near him?” Rhys threw her a charming smile. “You know what I mean.” Feyre rolled her eyes. “You’re becoming insufferable.” (Acosf - Sarah J. Maas)

Let's remember that alongside Feyre's pregnancy there is the possibility of war on the horizon and during ACOMAF Rhys was saying this:

“If I am a High Lord’s mate, I’m expected to bear you offspring, aren’t I? So perhaps I shouldn’t.”“You are not expected to bear me anything,” he snarled. “Children are rare, yes. So rare, and so precious. But I don’t want you to have them unless you want to—unless we both want to. And right now, with this war coming, with Hybern … I’ll admit that I’m terrified at the thought of my mate being pregnant with so many enemies around us. I’m terrified of what I might do if you’re pregnant and threatened. Or harmed.Something tight in my chest eased, even as a chill went down my back as I considered that power, that rage I’d seen at the Night Court, unleashed upon the earth.” (Acomaf - Sarah J. Maas)

There is no part of the book that says Rhysand wouldn't tell Feyre the truth. This is what Nesta is saying but 1) she knew how Rhysand was feeling 2) she knew he was looking for a way to save Feyre

“Is Feyre distraught?” “She doesn't know the full scope of it. In this she willed herself to settle the fear by leaching through her. "And Rhys needed to fight out his fear." "Yes. Along with his guilt and pain." (Acosf - Sarah J. Maas)

And Feyre is saying this about his relationship with Rhysand:

I knew he was hedging, and I let it slide. I'd learned that Rhys would tell me what was bothering him when he was good and ready.

It had always been part of our friendship: to give each other the space to decide when we were ready to talk. (Acosf - Sarah J. Maas)

Perhaps that explains why Feyre forgave Rhysand too quickly and she isn't calling him Tamlin 2.0.

No one is considering that Feyre could have an abortion (it's like there's no such option since it's not mentioned) and Madja was the one who forbade Feyre to do shape-shifting.

“Madja has put a ban on any more shape-shifting. She says that to alter Feyre’s body in any way right now could put the baby at risk. On the chance that it could be bad for the baby, Feyre is forbidden to so much as change the color of her hair until after the birth.” (Acosf - Sarah J. Maas)

Even if Feyre chose to make a shapeshift (which she doesn't), nothing could guarantee that she would miscarry or that the fetus wouldn't be deformed or anything like that.

So why is Rhysand controlling Feyre's body? Why can't he, as a parent, be worried about Feyre and the baby's life? Of course Feyre deserved to know, it was her right as well as Rhysand's. But why does he appear like a monster in some speeches? I believe that Sarah failed in this construction, especially when she does not write clear dialogue and leaves things for the reader to guess and this allows anyone to have their own interpretation of the subject. She could have written a dialogue between Feyre and Cassian where these things would have been clear. Feyre could have been talking through Cassian what it was like to kick Rhysand for that. I mean, does Cassian have time to wish Rhysand the same happiness but not to give depth to him or Feyre through his point of view?

Dialogues serve to clarify developments and contain damages. This should be taken into account, especially when you're writing a book where the main point of view doesn't favor the IC for a considerable part of the narrative.

#feyre archeron #feyre stan #pro feyre #high lady feyre #rhysand #feyre darling #feyre acotar #feysand #pro rhysand #high lord of the night court #high lord rhysand

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lananiscorner · 2 years

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Currently writing Blue Lions fanfic in anticipation of Dimitri’s birthday tomorrow and feeling salty about how permadeath fucked over some of the pivotal scenes in Azure Moon. Salt beneath the cut, spoilers up to and including chapter 17 of AM.

I love Azure Moon. It was my first route. I have since played VW 1.5 times and CF as well, but neither of those ever felt as emotionally satisfying as Azure Moon. However, I firmly stand by the claim that permadeath fucked over Rodrigue’s death and the following redemption in the rain.

Rodrigue’s death got fucked over because apparently Byleth just stood there and watched as Fleche stabbed Dimitri and Rodrigue, and didn’t even try to Divine Pulse. Why? Did they use up all pulses during the battle? Did they think “I couldn’t save one dad, so I guess I can’t save any dads”? Did they think “wait, actually this might be the wake up call Dimitri needs, so bring on the character development”? How the fuck am I supposed to interpret Byleth’s passiveness here?

You know what would have made sense? If Byleth had NOT been there. If they had been somewhere else on the battlefield, assessing the damage, looking after wounded, strategizing with Gilbert, whatever. You know who should have been there? Who actually has a significant, emotional connection to both Rodrigue and Dimitri, but no access to magical time rewinding powers?

Felix.

It should have been Felix cutting Fleche down. Let him come upon this scene of Fleche stabbing his dad and his best childhood friend and let him get angry and cut her down. Let him be stunned silent at the sight of his father mortally wounded. Let us know he still cares (because we all know he does, he’s just a massive tsundere coming out of an edgy teenager phase). Let him get furious at Dimitri so blatantly ignoring Rodrigue’s final words/wishes in service of what his psychosis makes him believe he has to do (”None of them...none of us...died for you. I'm dying for what I believe in...just as they did. Your life is your own. It belongs to no other, living or dead. Live for what you believe in.”) and let FELIX be the one to forcefully stop him from going to Enbarr. He’s got a strength in brawling. Let him unleash all this pent up anger and frustration and let him sock Dimitri in the face.

And why stop there? We know Ingrid and Sylvain worry about Dimitri and still care about him. As much as I love Mercedes, Annette and Ashe, they haven’t been friends with him since childhood, plus those three are much more likely to be looking after the wounded in the aftermath of Gronder. But Ingrid and Sylvain? And Dedue as well? Pretty sure his first priority after the battle would be to check on Dimitri.

Let them be there as well, both to stop Felix from actually killing Dimitri (Dedue) and to stop Dimitri from killing himself by marching off to Enbarr on his lonesome (Ingrid). And I get the thematic relevance of Byleth being there (Dimitri believing the goddess would never reach out her hand to him, only for the goddess to reach out their hand to him). We know Sylvain is smart and especially good at thinking on the spot to turn a situation around (see his support of Dimitri on the last map). Let him be the one who realizes that they need Byleth’s help to stop Dimtiri from self-destructing, so now he goes and gets them and we get the dialogue between Dimitri and Byleth.

But nooooo, we can’t have any of that goodness, because guess what? Permadeath. The only people in Azure Moon whose deaths *consistently* trigger a defeat are Byleth and Dimitri. Everybody else can die, whether before the time skip or after. The game cannot guarantee that Dedue, Felix, Ingrid or Sylvain will be there, so all we’re left with is Dimitri and the character who tries to be both an actual character and a blank self-insert cutout and doesn’t really achieve either.

I get that permadeath is a staple of this series and I appreciate the heightened sense of suspense and drama it brings to every fight, but man, does it fuck over these two scenes in particular.

#Fire Emblem: Three Houses #FE3H #Azure Moon #Blue Lions #permadeath is a fun mechanic gameplay-wise #and I appreciate the suspense it brings #but boy does it fuck up some of the writing

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theshelbyclan · 4 years

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1k Peaky Rec List!

It happened. I have reached 1000 followers and I cannot believe it. I love you all so much, your support has meant the world to me and thank you FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! ❤️

I wanted to do something to celebrate this loving community, so I chose not to recommend my favourites only, but rely on those send in. So here they are, both your favourites and, from those, mine. I was blown away by the talent, and I enjoyed every second of reading and reading (new works) these last couple of days. When in doubt, read these fics 😊

- Quiet by @writingwithacupoftea – As all of her work, this is a wonderfully written piece. The link between a Shelby sis and Matilda is so clever and the song is woven into the story. All of it works, there’s fluff as well as angst and just brilliantly done!

- Tommy Shelby Jr. by @multifandomwriter56 – First things firsts: this is hilarious! Shelby sis is sassy and smart, and Tommy doesn’t know what to do with the situation, which is always my favourite kind of fic. Every line is funny and the dialogue is fantastic. Also, the story is just unbelievably cute! 😘

- Uncommon, yet perfect by @smcc212 – 100 points for originality! Maybe there are more out there, but this is the first Isiah x Bonnie fic I came across. Also, this takes not only polyamory seriously, but also the different cultures of the characters, where the appreciation of them seems to lack in the show. So, well done on all counts!! ❤️

- Cornflower Blue by @peakymarvelworld – Honestly, you had me at the description of his eyes and then I found that the entire fic is written through two people’s eyes: so beautiful I can’t… I couldn’t stop reading and dear God I need more!! Listen to this: “If he was being honest, you seemed to be a ghost… just observing the drunken men and seeing which of them to whisk off to hell or heaven. And Thomas Shelby couldn’t help but wish you’d take him to hell with you.” Now read the rest, because it’s too, too good! (Also, thank God there was a part 2 because I would have killed a man for it) 😂

- Sandman by @peak-a-blinder – I have a particular soft spot for reading and writing fairytales, but the dark kind, where something has gone horribly wrong along the way. This fic reads the same way, because the language is beautiful and the story original, but it has such a dark edge to it. My favourite thing about this one isn’t that it’s about Shelby sis, but that the ending can be interpreted both positive and negative: it’s up to you. ❤️

- Imagine Being The True Reason Why Thomas’s Heart Is Broken by @writerdream22 – This is one of those works that has very little notes and I’ve often wondered why. I guess this isn’t your average kind of story, less run of the mill and it doesn’t follow the popular plots, but that is exactly why I liked it from the start. It’s new and fresh, and even though the parts are short, there are 4 of them! Check it out and give this writer some love 😊

- Petrichor by @kyloswarstars – Another Bonnie x Shelby!reader fic, to counter the many Tommy fics out there! This was written beautifully, because there are a few images that keep returning, like the burning fire. I could see and smell the fire as I was reading it. But it’s also incredibly sad and deals with death and revenge, because Bonnie really did deserve better… 💔

- The Last Song by @toms-cherry-trees - I adore Victoria Shelby and now this author as well. I swear to God, this read like poetry. It’s like music, but in words only! Unbelievable talent in writing right here, though the ending kinda broke me. This is another one: it deserves so much more love ❤️

- Eighteen by @chlnymphadora - I can only say that it’s TOO CUTE AND I CAN’T DEAL WITH IT. As always, this writer is amazing and her stories just drag you in. Go, go! Read them! 😁

- Imagine Being The Youngest Shelby Sister And Your Brothers Find Out You Are Dating Behind Their Backs by @pastelxskull – This is the author of the iconic ‘Imagine Being The Youngest Shelby Sister’ headcanon post and SOMEHOW I missed this one! It made me laugh out loud how all the brothers keep showing up and nervous for their reaction during the entire fic, and the end, dear God! I loved it 😊

So, I had the privilege of reading so much these last 5 days and enjoyed it a little too much. I picked 10 favourites, the ones that kept me up at night or had me daydreaming for a few hours, but there’s so much more fantastical work out there! Again, thank you all for the support, but most of all, thanks for sharing your creativity with me ❤️ Much love, Thura 💋

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #shelby!sister #sister!shelby #shelby sister #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #john shelby #bonnie gold #peaky blinders headcanon #peaky blinder #peakyblindersedit #peaky blinder fic rec #fic rec

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twistedtummies2 · 3 years

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Batman Returns - Killer Croc Edition

This is something I’ve discussed with a couple of friends of mine in the past, but I decided it wouldn’t hurt to share my thoughts here, since I know there are some Waylon Jones fans waiting in the wings. As I’m sure a lot of people here know, in the movie “Batman Returns,” Tim Burton and his creative team give us a VERY radical reinvention of the Penguin, played by Danny DeVito. Now, it’s a known fact that Burton and his writers were FORCED to use Penguin by the producers: that was the one stipulation he had to follow on the contract for the movie, that Penguin and Catwoman would be the antagonists. However, Burton didn’t really understand or like the Penguin that much, so he decided to change things around. I am fully convinced that either Tim Burton or one of the script-makers HAD to have read at least one Killer Croc story before making the screenplay. Why? Because if you look at Penguin, while he SUPERFICIALLY has all the elements of the character, a lot of what makes him “him” actually feels more similar to Killer Croc. Focus on disfigurement and deformity? Check. Monstrous and animalistic appetite, complete with sharp teeth to make it work? Check. Lives in a sewer? Check. Crude and nasty personality? Check. I am positive that the people who made that film WANTED to use Killer Croc, but couldn’t, so they reworked the Penguin using Waylon as inspiration. Now, of course, I could be wrong about all of this, but ever since then, I’ve kind of had this idea of someday writing a fanfic that would essentially be a rewrite of Batman Returns (or at least the parts involving Penguin), but now using Killer Croc as the bad guy. Now, of course, some things would need to change: like I said, Penguin still has the SUPERFICIALITIES of the Penguin we all know and love. For example, all the stuff with the umbrellas would have to be removed, and while some of it would be easy to fix (such as his final fight with Batman) other stuff would be tougher to negotiate (such as him escaping a scene with a helicopter umbrella). All of the focus on birds would have to change, too; you’d have to do something about that blasted giant rubber ducky, and the army of penguins in the sewer would have to be adjusted, too. You could just make it an army of crocodiles, but that almost feels like it opens up a few more issues: an army of very small penguins is already weird enough, but at least they are tiny, so it’s not hard to imagine them finding lots of good places to hide. An army of crocs and/or gators? That’s a little tougher to swallow. XD But a lot of other stuff, that said, wouldn’t have to change at all...for instance, let’s take the scene where Penguin has just visited his parents’ grave, and the media is swarming him: with very few changes to the dialogue, it’s not hard to make it work for Waylon Jones... Reporter: So, Mr. Croc- KC: (growls) A croc is a dumb animal, crawlin’ around in a swamp. I am a man. I have a name: Waylon Jones. Reporter: Mr. Jones...you’ll never get a chance to settle up with ‘em huh? KC: (pauses, looking away; sighs) Yeah...that’s true. I was their number one son, an’ they treated me like number two. But I guess it’s human nature t’ fear...(he looks at his claws)...the unusual. (chuckles softly) Heh...maybe when I clutched a baby rattle with a hand made o’ green scales an’ razor blades...they freaked. (he looks up to the sky) I forgive them. Yeah. Doesn’t take much to make it work. Now, there obviously other things that would be different in terms of interpretation, but that’s just a question of adaptation, so to speak. What do you all think?

#killer croc #batman #dc #waylon jones #waylon #croc #penguin #oswald cobblepot #batman returns #random thoughts #headcanon #sort of

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electricshoebox · 3 years

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writing tag

Tagged by the lovely @adventuresofmeghatron, thank you!

Tagging: @junemermaid, @molliehaswords, @desynchimminent, @valkyriejack, and @mercurymiscellany, if you’d like to do it!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

39. Holy shit.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

533,274 words. Holy shit.

3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?

How to Share a Bed Without Killing Each Other: a Love Story (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, 5 Chapters, Complete) The trials and tribulations of literally sleeping together.

Rivers in the Sand (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) The Hissing Wastes unsettles Bull’s memories, and when he and Dorian are trapped together by a fallen pillar, Dorian helps him deal.

a soft place to land (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) When a letter from his father sets him off, Dorian turns to Bull for a distraction.

Always Good at Bad Ideas (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) Bull gets injured fighting a dragon, which leaves Dorian frantic enough to blurt out the one thing he was trying to keep to himself.

Flashpoint (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) “One time he got so excited he set the curtains on fire.”

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, always! I’ve seen various opinions on whether authors should, but to me, engaging with and getting excited with readers is half the fun and half the point. I also just really want people to know how much it means to me not only that they read, but that they take the time to leave a comment. Comments are hard to write. I completely sympathize with that, sometimes you just don’t know what to say or how to say it, and I absolutely don’t begrudge anyone that doesn’t. It just means a lot to me when people do, even when it’s literally just “This was cool!” or something, and I want them to know that it’s appreciated!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. I guess that sort of depends on your definition of angsty. None of them have directly tragic endings, it’s just not in me to write that way, but I have one or two with open or less definitely, obviously happy endings. The rarepair DA2 oneshot I wrote for Merrill/Orana, Counting the Cost, has the most open ending, left completely up to interpretation. The Inception AU DAI fic I wrote for Dorian/Bull, In the Shadow of Dreams, has what I think of as an optimistic ending, and less a happy one. I tried to end that one with more romance, but it just didn’t fit the tone of the rest of the fic, so a quiet ending that signals a road to recovery was what I chose instead.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Most all of my oneshots have pretty happy endings. I guess I’m tempted say A Line in the Sand, my Deacon/MacCready start-from-scratch slow burn novel, just because it goes from antagonists to lovers and has the longest road with the most earned happy ending. I feel like the long struggle to get there makes it feel happier.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really. Instead I’m sometimes tempted into AUs based on other media, but not full blown crossovers with actual different characters meeting. Even then, I’m really picky in what I enjoy. I’ve only written one, the Inception AU for Dragon Age that I mentioned above. Honestly, it requires no knowledge of Inception at all. I really just stole a bunch of concepts from it and then made my own modernized Thedas around them.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Thankfully no! I’ve received one or two kind of odd comments, but otherwise I’ve been very lucky and everyone’s been really nice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hell yeah! I’ve written many kinds, really, whatever I feel like or whatever fits the fic. I’ve done plenty of your typical smut. I branched out into light BDSM with several of my Dorian/Bull fics, as well as waxplay and praise kink. I’ve also done some roleplay in the vein of “established relationship pretending to be strangers meeting at a bar” for Deacon/MacCready with By Any Other Name.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Two of my Dorian/Bull fics, Wishing Stars and No Patron Saint of Silent Restraint, both by the same lovely person: landanding on AO3. I don’t think I stopped flailing for a solid day when I got the request for permission either time.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not since pre-AO3 days, beyond collaborating in a tabletop setting. I’m not completely opposed to the idea but it would have to be someone I felt really, really comfortable with and with whom I have really good communication. I’m really particular about my writing, and I’d need to know someone’s emotional comfort level with trading and changing and even eliminating ideas.

13. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Oh god that’s honestly really hard. I’ve written the most for Dorian/Bull and that ship will always have a special place in my heart. But I did write my first full-length novel for Deacon/MacCready, and they’ve already got me in the middle of my second. So they’re the ship that taught me I could do that, and they’re my beloved rarepair. There are a few more I absolutely love, but I think those are my top two right now.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Definitely Uprising. It was the first time I tried longform fic, and it was meant to be an entire retelling of DA2 with Velanna as the Justice-bearing character, rather than Anders, because after learning the developers almost took DA2 in that direction, I couldn’t get it out of my head. I had a lot of plans for it, for how Justice might develop differently, for what it might have looked like if elves had been more of the battleground issue instead of mages vs. templars, for some angsty bittersweet long distance Nathaniel/Velanna and some complicated Fenris/Hawke and Merrill/Orana. But I drifted away from Dragon Age fandom in interest a long time ago, and I’m not sure I’ll ever get the steam back for it. I’m proud of how far I did get, though.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I feel pretty confident with dialogue, I can usually make a scene flow with it pretty well and I spend a lot of time trying to be meticulous about character voice. I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback on my descriptions, which I appreciate and wouldn’t have considered a strength, but my readers have been kind. I think I’m pretty good at including body language, too, though maybe to a fault.

16. What are you writing weaknesses?

Much as people have been kind on the feedback, I really feel like action scenes are a weakness for me. I don’t enjoy writing them and I struggle a lot to make them feel like they’re flowing over just bulletpointing. I also feel like I struggle to make them exciting. I feel like I struggle with exposition scenes as well, and keeping them interesting over info-dumping.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’m generally in favor of including them, but with the caution of doing thorough research if it’s not a language I speak. I shy away from it if I can’t be completely sure it’s accurate, because I don’t want to risk putting off a native speaker reader, or saying/doing something offensive. I’d expand that to include anything about another culture, really. For example, I’ve been slowly picking away at writing a Fallout fic for my Sole Survivor Anthony and Preston, and part of what has been slow going is just making sure I’m getting Anthony’s culture right. His parents immigrated from Vietnam, and I want his experiences with them and with his culture to be as accurate and respectful as possible, not falling into any stereotypes but also being allowed to be complicated.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Depends on what we’re measuring. The first fandom I ever wrote fic for of any kind was Sailor Moon. The first fandom I actually put fic on the internet for was Lord of the Rings, on good old fanfiction.net. The first fandom I published on AO3 for was Dragon Age.

19. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

God this is such a hard question to answer, my feelings on my writing change so often. I think it’s hard for A Line in the Sand not to be my favorite for the reasons I’ve already mentioned, it’s my first successful novel-length fic, I accomplished a lot with it and learned a lot from it, and it’s a rarepair I got to kind of develop from scratch in my own way.

But if I look back at my whole repertoire so far, just to branch out from the usual answer, I’d say I’m also really fond of To Have and to Hold, which was the first time I ever participated in a minibang, or really any kind of writing challenge. It’s a Dorian/Bull established relationship fic set during Trespasser, and it’s kind of a meditation on Dorian’s past and present and how they’ve shaped his feelings on love and commitment and marriage, all while he’s trying to decide his future. I’m proud of how it came out, and I think my Dorian voice still holds up okay. Plus I had two incredible artists working with me who put together stunning work for it, and how could I not be super grateful for that?

It’s funny, most of the top ones up there for kudos are ones that I don’t personally think are my best, it’s a lot of my very early offerings for Dorian/Bull that I think I could improve on a lot of if I tackled them now. I’m grateful people like them but I feel like they’re more an accident of timing, being published early in the ship’s popularity.

#writing tag #writing memes #my writing

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mozillavulpix · 3 years

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super anti-komahina salt

and this is to go further beyond

I saw a komahina fan post a write-up and it just irritates me so I want to break it down:

“If you think Komaeda is batshit insane or that his character is only about his obsession with hope and you interpreted Hinata's feelings about Komaeda as just hate of course it wouldn't make sense. Except neither of these are true for their characters.”

This is the basic surface-level narrative Komahina fans argue against, and fair enough, it’s a massive generalisation. But this argument also just irritates me because it implies everyone who doesn’t ship them do so because they don’t understand the characters well enough.

“long story short Komaeda's obsesses over hope as a coping mechanism, because it's the only thing he can cling to.”

I can agree with this in a way, but in my opinion I don’t think he’s so weak that it’s impossible for him break free from that mindset (during the game) if he really wants to.

“Komaeda doesn't like Hinata because he thinks he is talented and above him, Komaeda says he loves all ultimates but it's not real love. His love for Hinata is different. In the SDR2 drama CD he mentions that he loves Hinata because he tries to understand him.”

I can agree with this. Although the Drama CD is literally just the Free Time Events, I don’t think it’s some kind of ‘gotcha’ like people think it’d be.

But also keep in mind, yes, Hajime tries to give Nagito a chance and doesn’t immediately run away screaming because scary person he can’t understand, but Hajime also doesn’t particularly act more saintly than all the other kids towards Nagito after Chapter 1. Nekomaru and Kazuichi seem to at least try to hear Nagito out before they punch him in the face. Mahiru seems like she was the first one to consider giving him breakfast. Hajime tries to stop Akane from attacking him after the Chapter 1 trial, but mostly because he’s resigned to the fact it won’t change what he did, and he then changes his mind and gets pissed off when Nagito decides to taunt him about his amnesia in response. And it’s Sonia who finally settles everyone down. So yes, Hajime tries to understand Nagito, but in the actual plot itself that’s not a special trait unique to him.

It’s only ‘unique’ if you choose to do the Free Time Events, and the Free Time Events...are basically not canon. They’re more like a what-if scenario the player chooses to view, and the dialogue was written from that perspective.

As in, maybe it’s canon that they’d interact like that if they spent time together on the island, but it’s not canon that Hajime does and wants to do that during the story. Because you can do them for everyone.

“And they reach a mutual understanding in DR3 because the two of them are more alike than Hinata would like to admit.”

Um...

Well, this is why DR2.5 is bullshit

I agree they’re similar, but I think both of them knew this from the very beginning. It’s not exactly a reason for reconciliation and forgiveness. The fact they have similarities is the exact reason why Hajime is so upset at his betrayal, and snaps back at Nagito every time he brings that up. So I don’t know if that’s really a good reason to explain why they’ve forgiven each other come DR3.

“Komaeda doesn't see himself as above untalented reserves either, because in 2-4, after realizing the truth about Hinata he says that they are the same, stepladders for hope. He was lashing out at all the students for being despair. They are similar, because they both share the same views that talent is everything.”

And then Hajime gets his character development for the rest of the game all so he can realise talent isn’t everything. So...?

“Now from Hinata's end, a lot of people seem to miss this about him, but he is someone who denies his feelings when they get inconvenient, he is called a tsundere by monokuma”

I guess this is a diss against the surface-level people and people who are like “but the text literally says this”. But even then, the game literally shows Hajime’s inner thoughts. If he’s conflicted about things, the text generally shows that too, even if it’s with a careful inclusion of a ‘...’

So I don’t think we should take that trait as an excuse to literally ignore what the text says.

He was felt pumped when Komaeda was out of critical condition, but he thinks "why do I have to feel pumped, oh well best not to think about it"....because Hinata likes to avoid facing things that inconvenient him. Hinata finds it hard to trust Komaeda and doesn't play along with him, because he is afraid of getting caught in his pace, and not because he hates him and thinks he is better off dead.

This part literally read like a high-schooler’s english essay, and maybe this kid actually is a high-schooler, tbh. Because that is one big leap from “Hajime finds it difficult to deal with his feelings” to “since Hajime finds it difficult to deal with Nagito, it means he doesn’t hate him”.

“I don't think Komaeda is a fundametally bad person but is shaped to be what he is because of his luck cycle. In his last FTE, Hinata asks what Komaeda would do if didn't have his luck cycle, and his answer was something along the lines of " a normal life, devoid of hope and despair". And we get to that his innermost desires is to live a normal life in the OVA, and his character song zansakura zanka.”

He can also just decide to not believe in his luck cycle.

Also, in the OVA, he’s embarrassed by that inner desire and tells World Destroyer he hopes no one saw that maybe he wishes for a world without talent.

Like his desire to be a good person is so hidden that he doesn’t want people to know.

“Hinata even mentions Komaeda isn't trying to trick anyone for selfish reasons in his report card, so it's a shame to see so many people attribute all of Komaeda's actions to malice just because of what Hinata thought of him in chapter 5 because it wasn't clear what Komaeda's reasons were at that point.”

Okay, a few things to unpack here:

Just because Nagito is doing things ‘for the greater good’, doesn’t mean it’s not also selfish. Hajime isn’t going to say that because Hajime doesn’t realise that. You can’t exactly trust him with being able to articulate everything about a character’s worldview. Izuru would. He probably does in Chapter 0. (And that’s why he seems disgusted by him).

Also, there’s “maybe Hajime is a slightly unreliable narrator because he tries to avoid thinking about difficult things”, and there’s “actually, the majority of how Hajime views Chapter 5 is unreliable because he didn’t know for sure if Nagito’s plan was malicious or not, it was just his gut feeling”.

What about the video message after Chapter 5? What about having to spell out ‘KILL US ALL’? What about Chapter 0 showing how in the real world Nagito had completely lost it? It’s not like the game was trying to present Nagito as any little bit more sympathetic after the trial. If anything, every piece of new info reinforced that mindset Nagito was filled with malice, up to the ‘fake Makoto’ saying that he somewhat understood him. The fake Hope made by Junko to trick them.

If you compare Chapter 5 in 2 to Chapter 5 in V3, you can see how the positioning is different. V3 does the “the villain tries to make himself look the worst he can in the mind of the heroes when in reality his real intentions were different” a lot better. More flat-out intentionally - the protagonist kind of literally giving a monologue about how the character was morally grey and even at the end there they couldn’t say they knew their true intentions. But also it’s just not as...sinister as 2-5. No ominous chanting, no dismembered limbs, none of the characters feeling completely out of their element and terrified. I think it’s text that Nagito is supposed to be villainous in Chapter 5 and even past Chapter 5.

So...

I can at least understand where Komahina comes from, but god it annoys me

Unpacking it like this, I can see it’s not even fair to argue back a lot of it - the stuff people are saying do make sense and are arguing against kinds of people I have seen.

Besides, I’m not arguing Komahina ‘can’t be canon’.

My view is just I think Hajime deserves better than a character like Nagito, who never repented for his actions on-screen or even gave much of a hint that he wanted to repent for his actions.

And that it’s still easy to argue that Nagito is a bad person even with his trauma.

Not everyone who calls Nagito an awful person is an idiot who doesn’t know how to read text past the surface, you can still make a nuanced take with that conclusion

for god’s sake

#danganronpa #anti #it's just my opinion man #fandom

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oumakokichi · 3 years

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How do you feel about the line where Saihara says that Kokichi is the embodiment of lies? Personally I dont like it very much.

Hello anon! That’s actually a pretty fun question, in my opinion! It’s interesting that you don’t particularly like the line; I actually like it quite a bit, but I think this is because I didn’t personally interpret it as negatively as some people might have.

There are a few reasons as to why I think it’s actually a pretty fitting note to end on chapter 5, and most of them involve touching on Ouma’s actions throughout the game, as well as what Kodaka had in store for him, so as per usual I’ll put the rest of this under a read-more. Watch out for spoilers when reading!

I think perhaps the biggest reason I didn’t feel like Saihara’s line about Ouma embodying the concept of lies was meant to be negative or harsh is because this is the exact same thing Kodaka himself has been saying about Ouma the whole time. I recently re-reblogged Comun’s (@kaibutsushidousha) translation of Ouma’s official art book pages, and it’s stated pretty word for word there: Ouma is the single character who personifies ndrv3’s themes of lying, and for this reason, Kodaka put a lot of thought and effort into writing him.

It’s not like lying itself was an entirely new mechanic to Danganronpa; it is, after all, a murder mystery game about finding culprits and exposing lies and inconsistencies in trials. However, ndrv3 is the first game in the series to actually flesh out the mechanic of lying, even going so far as to allow you, the player, to commit perjury during the trial—not even allowing, really, but adding at least one mandatory perjury per trial, because even Saihara cannot get by in this game without lying.

Where dr1 and sdr2 were much more focused on a very different narrative involving the ideas of natural talent, usefulness to society, and cycles of hope and despair, ndrv3’s themes instead shift to focus on truth, lies, and the all-too-blurry line between them. Where the previous two games usually presented lies in a fairly straightforward manner (usually limited to lies told by culprits during trials, or by the mastermind directly), ndrv3’s entire focus is on lies from the very start.

The game lies to you about who your main protagonist is going to be, it lies to you about how trustworthy the flashback lights are—it even plays on the your expectations directly in later chapters, by suddenly seeing to tie directly in with the Hope’s Peak arc despite Kodaka saying that it wouldn’t, only to subvert those expectations again and reveal that it was all another lie. Everything, from the truth of the outside world, to whether the characters’ talents and memories are real at all, is called into question, and I absolutely love it, personally.

This level of open-ended speculation is something I believe Kodaka wanted to preserve with Ouma’s character. Because in the end, the point of ndrv3 isn’t to say “lies bad, truth good.” Like Ouma himself, it’s all a bit more complicated than that. Because lies themselves aren’t inherently negative, or harmful, I don’t think Kodaka wanted to give too much away about Ouma’s own lies. Doing so would erase some of the mystery surrounding his character, and would present the facts in a way that was much too straightforward compared to the rest of the game.

This is why most of the clues we do get about his real intentions and motivations are limited to a few definitive facts: that Ouma and DICE were pacifists with a very strong moral taboo against murder, that he wasn’t a Remnant of Despair, and that he loved games and pranks. Almost everything else about him is something we have to guess, evaluating his earlier quotes and weighing it against the information we have by the end of chapter 6, and trying to decide if we believe him or not. Essentially, Ouma is a puzzle and we’re trying to guess what the full picture looks like with only half the pieces.

From a writing standpoint, I think this decision makes sense, especially considering how badly Ouma himself wanted to remain a mystery. So many of his lines throughout the game put emphasis on how much he values lies as a form of free will; it’s clear that he found the ability to choose whether to tell the truth or not extremely important. Presenting us with too many clear-cut facts about him, or having every single character arrive at the same, definitive conclusion about how they felt towards him, would have been dragging the cat out of Schrodinger’s catbox, so to speak.

When Saihara describes Ouma as someone who truly embodied the concept of lies at the end of the trial in chapter 5, I personally felt that this was a great way to summarize Saihara’s own conflicting feelings towards Ouma at that point in time. We know, for a fact, that Saihara didn’t hate him, even despite the things he did. As I mentioned, the localization changed this line, but in the original dialogue of the game, Saihara explicitly refers to Ouma as a “friend” (“nakama”).

Clearly, he never wanted to see Ouma die—but at the same time, he still doesn’t exactly know how to feel about Ouma. Ouma presented a very contradictory picture to the rest of his classmates, particularly if we only look at the end of chapter 5, without any of the subsequent reveals in chapter 6.

He was extremely childish and playful, yet cold and calculating at times. He was willing to sacrifice two people in order to keep himself alive in chapter 4, yet willingly let Momota take the antidote and chose to die under the press in chapter 5, even though he easily could have let Momota and Maki die instead. He often pretended to enjoy the killing game and take pleasure in his classmates’ suffering, yet at the end claimed that he hated it all along.

In my opinion, pretty much anyone would be confused and conflicted in Saihara’s situation. In the time that they knew each other, Ouma followed up nearly every word out of his mouth with, “but that’s a lie though!”, regardless of whether he was telling the truth or not. Considering how little they actually knew about Ouma at this point in time, it’s understandable that Saihara and most of the others would feel as though he remained an incomprehensible liar even in death.

Keep in mind too, that by the end of chapter 5, Saihara and everyone else was still very much under the impression that Ouma was still a Remnant of Despair and Junko’s personal successor. They already realized that he wasn’t the real ringleader of the game, but it wasn’t until discovering his motive video in chapter 6 that Saihara started to reevaluate more of his assumptions about Ouma. Meanwhile Himiko, Maki, and Kiibo don’t discover that Ouma wasn’t actually a Remnant until nearly halfway through the chapter 6 trial, when Saihara puts forth his discoveries.

Considering the fact that they still believed him to be a Remnant of Despair and essentially “Junko 2.0,” Saihara’s conclusion that Ouma was someone he couldn’t fully understand while he was alive, who truly seemed to represent the idea of “lying” itself, feels rather lenient. He could have written him off as a horrible person for his actions and refused to refer to him as a friend… but instead his words sound more curious than anything else, and just a little bit sad.

A huge reason that Saihara, and for that matter all of the other characters, could never fully understand Ouma or his motives is simply because Ouma wouldn’t let them. Due to paranoia and mistrust, Ouma refused to let anyone else in or open up to others, and this is the biggest reason for his downfall in chapters 4 and 5. I can’t help but remember the end of Saihara’s FTEs with Ouma, where he muses that even if he reaches out his hand, Ouma still won’t actually take it—and that’s exactly what happens in the main story, too. It’s downright impossible to help or understand someone who won’t accept your help or let you in.

All in all, I think Kodaka wanted players to feel extremely conflicted at this point in the story. We do, of course, get a few bits and pieces of information about Ouma later on in chapter 6 that help shed a much clearer light on some of his actions, but that’s only if we take that information and go back through the story with it in mind. At the time of Ouma’s death, I think Kodaka really wanted to capture the feeling of someone who remained so mysterious and told so many lies that it was just downright frustrating, trying to figure out how much of what he said was true or not.

Considering Saihara himself goes on to adopt a very similar opinion towards lies to Ouma’s, I can’t help but think that his comparison of Ouma to the concept of “lies” was never inherently a bad thing. Lies are, after all, meaningful. They’re a morally grey area, absolutely capable of being twisted and used to hurt others, but also just as capable of comforting others, and influencing the world in very powerful ways. By the end of the game, Saihara’s opinion on lies isn’t a black-or-white outlook of “they’re always bad,” or “they’re always good.” Instead, he recognizes that lies are much more complicated than that—much like his opinion towards Ouma himself.

In any case, this was a very fun question to discuss anon! I find it interesting how people’s opinions towards Saihara’s narration at the end of chapter 5 really differs, and I still wonder if part of it has to do with how much harsher the localization made him seem by cutting out the part about him considering Ouma a friend. It’s really interesting how much people’s opinions on this part also tend to tie in with their feelings towards ndrv3’s ending in general, considering the theme of “truth and lies” really kicks up a notch from this point on in the story. Thank you for leaving such a fun question!

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #new danganronpa v3 #kokichi ouma #ouma kokichi #ask #anonymous #my meta #okay to reblog #ndrv3 spoilers //

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calpalsworld · 3 years

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Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭

Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot

Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?

I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)

Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^ SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:

Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.

Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.

^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???

Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?

Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.

Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx

Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.

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