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sytoran · 1 year

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𝐊𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐋, 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐀 𝐇𝐎𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐌.

wanda maximoff's sons have soccer practice, while she spends some time with their young and ridiculously good-looking coach in the equipment closet.

──── 🍃 pairing. milf!wanda x buff!footballcoach!reader

──── 🍃 cont. smut (18+), sub!wanda, dom!reader, reader is gender-neutral but has a penis, shameless smut, blowjobs, thirsting, you are weak in the knees and the heart for milfy!wanda, possesiveness

──── 🍃 note. saw lizzie's oscar look and got this whole idea lmao. i am swimming in requests but here this is anyways. sue me lol.

masterlist / AO3 / join the taglist

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓. 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

every saturday, tommy and billy maximoff have football practice.

it may seem like a hassle to some parents, having to take the time out of their day to drive their kids to this place and that, but for this particular lesson, wanda doesn't mind.

the reasoning for her sweet relief doesn't lie entirely within helping her darling boys play their favourite sport, as strange as that sounds. truthfully, the answer would lean slightly more towards the person that coaches them in that sport.

but, who could blame wanda?

after all, her boys' football coach was just about the biggest heartthrob she'd ever seen.

bronzed skin kissed by the sun, expanding over broad shoulders and a sturdy figure. biceps and triceps so prominent it was nearly blinding, and forearms so structured it made architects weep. wanda felt as if you were a greek god come to life, with an unfairly charming smile and large, large hands.

wanda knew she wasn't the only one, after all, thirsting over the classic young, hot, athletic coach.

now, watching you be surrounded by the younger moms with their kids, hanging off your every word, wanda couldn’t help but feel a bubbling feeling of jealousy rise in her.

wanda maximoff had never been a pushover.

"okay, so when scoring a goal you’re going to find small windows or open spaces. don’t wait for the perfect opportunity, take every chance you get.” you explained to the group of kids grouped in front of you in the hot sun.

“there’s no windows in football!” tommy maximoff helpfully piped up. the lively seven-year-old student of yours was always full of energy, quite unlike his twin, billy, who was generally more reserved and quiet.

you cracked a laugh at his response, before feeling a pair of eyes on you from behind. sitting in the court side benches was mrs. maximoff, with her dazzling smile, looking directly in your line of vision.

you gulped. god, as much as you loved teaching her kids, she was something else entirely. the way her exposed thighs were shining in the hot sun made your throat run dry. when mrs. maximoff gave you a playful wink, you felt something throb in your pants.

i swear to god, y/n l/n, if you get a boner in front of these seven-year olds i’ll kill you.

gratifyingly, you managed to evade the embarrassing situation, instead letting them practice goals on their own for a while.

as all the little kids were running around in the hot sun, you retreated to a sheltered corner to grab a drink. wiping the sweat off your forehead, you nearly jumped a metre high into the air when you felt a tap on your shoulder.

“didn’t mean to scare you, sorry darling.” mrs. maximoff said with a wry grin, sitting herself down next to you. you’re more than welcome to have her, noting the way her eyes raked over your taller, sweaty form. interesting.

“s’alright, mrs. maximoff. how’s your day been going?” you ask, attempting to strike up casual conversation. you ignore your heart beating faster in your chest.

wanda chuckles, leaning back with a sigh. “tiring, i suppose. extremely hot weather, though. summer is a blessing and a curse.” you’re about to agree with her wholeheartedly, before wanda’s casually unbuttoning her blouse. you choke on your words.

she’s absolutely mesmerizing. your eyes can’t seem to stray from her newly-exposed cleavage, accentuating her breasts and the pink bra that peeks through. it’s awful, you know, that your mind is running wild at the sight of the curve of her breast, but you can’t seem to help it.

the two of you spend some time, sitting on that bench, watching as the kids try and fail to kick the ball successfully within the goalposts. it’s almost therapeutic. until……

“look out!”

before you can react, the corner of your eye catches the sight of a stray ball.

it’s flying towards wanda and the drink in her hand, and by some miracle your goalkeeper senses are awakened seconds before it can touch her.

an arm flying out to stop the ball, you miraculously catch it with one hand at such a high pace. your hand flexes with the fierce catch, a well-muscled forearm now in wanda’s direct line of vision. time’s frozen for a second, as you watch wanda’s shocked face, almost blushing too. you’d never felt more cool.

but after your goalkeeper instincts kick in, your teacher instincts kick in, and you stand up to speak to the careless kid. before you can leave, wanda tugs on your arm. you spin around and you nearly faint.

unbeknownst to you, the drink in wanda’s hand had split with the impact of the ball, and it was all over her blouse now. to add insult to injury, it easily seeped through the thin material of the white blouse, basically making it transparent, baring to your eyes what was underneath.

the yells of the kids fade out as you stare at the wanda, shell-shocked. you can see…… everything.

despite wanda’s face of worry, you swear there’s a hint of deviousness in there, almost as if she planned to have her drink there. you shake your head. i’m goin’ mad in the sun, you think.

“i-uh, let’s get you some clean clothes, mrs. maximoff. sorry about the kids, i-”

“no worries," wanda answers promptly, holding on to your forearm. "don't want anyone else to see," she whispers, effectively hiding behind you as you lead her to the equipment closet.

the consequences of this, however, lie in the fact that you can feel wanda's nipples pressing into your back, small and hard and rubied. the searing heat in your pants is almost unbearable now.

calm down, it's not a big deal.

wanda's hand trails over the expanse of your back when the two of you reach the equipment closet, and you unintentionally shudder under her touch. you pretend you don’t notice the smirk on her face.

you shake your head vigorously, resisting the urge to slap your hands to your cheeks. she’s just my students’ mom, you think, swearing you don’t care about how close the two of you are.

when wanda’s ass brushes against your crotch. it takes every cell of your existence not to rip off your goddamn shorts and start fucking her against the wall. you’d never been so riled up.

“here’s some clean clothes. sorry about the size, though.” you mumble, averting your eyes when wanda tries to look at you. you shove the clothes into her hands, eyes fixated on a football on the shelf.

“help me with the button?” wanda asks, and you spin around, then you nearly choke. again.

she’s taken off her blouse, exposing her chest to your hungry eyes. the lacy pink bra is the object of your desires, distracting you in every sense imaginable. at this point, you couldn’t give a flying fuck about your boner. you know she’s as turned on as you.

"i get it, sweetheart, you're a young adult with needs, hm?" wanda asks in a sultry voice, walking up to you ever so slowly.

you swallow, not trusting yourself to speak. all you can do is stare at wanda with a haze in your eyes.

her hands reach the straining tent in your pants. it's erect, forming a bulge so huge wanda can barely cup all of it in her hands.

your breathing becomes ragged as wanda traces her fingertips along the bulge. you're looking down as she gets on her knees, eyelids fluttering.

she licks her lips.

"let me help you with that," wanda whispers, casting a look upwards. you bite back a low groan at her expression, so ready to pleasure you and take your length into her pliant mouth.

you raise an eyebrow in a challenge, staring down with dark eyes, and wanda is more than quick to rid of your shorts, admiring the sheer size of your fully-erect cock.

the tip is a cherry red, precum already leaking, and she eagerly laps up the remaining residue. you let out a moan, hands twisting into her scalp as you pull her mouth closer.

nothing could describe the euphoria you felt when wanda first wrapped her lips around your cock, clinging onto your tensed quadriceps to steady herself.

"shit," you groaned, throwing your head back, tugging onto wanda's locks of hair firmer. she let out a moan from the back of her throat, releasing your cock from her lips with a 'pop'.

moving on to languidly trail her tongue along your shaft, wanda showed off experienced skill in the way she maneuvered her way around your cock, teasing you up and down then licking at the slit.

fuck, you were close. really, really, close.

wanda was relentless in her ministrations, bringing you so close to the edge in such a short time. when she began deepthroating you, gagging prettily onto your cock, you’re sent tumbling over that edge with no safety net under.

“shit, mrs. maximoff,” you breathe, holding the sides of her flushed face, locking gazes with dilated pupils.

she gets up, slowly, brushing off her knees as if she hadn’t just brought you to a kaleidoscopic orgasm. “i’ll take my leave now, coach. the boys-”

you don’t grant her access to the exit, before you’re roughly pulling her back in for something more than just a blowjob.

after that racy encounter with wanda, the two of you seem to end up in the equipment closet a lot more. you’re making excuses, you know, pathetic, but you somehow manage to convince yourself you could ever have wanda maximoff.

you get to know her more, along the way, that her birthday is february 10, and her comfort food is parikash, and she’s sokovian, but her accent hardly ever makes its appearance anymore.

to you, wanda maximoff is more than a quick fuck, or a stress reliever. it’s stupid, you know, because she’s a divorced single mom with two kids and whole lot of responsibilities, and you’re nothing more than someone with too much love.

your role in her life is ambiguous to you. you sometimes wish you could dive into her brain to find out just what you are, but for now you have to be content with what you are.

the first time wanda brings you back home, you're more than eager to repay every favour she's given you.

she's hardly even unlocked the front door before you're lifting her up from the back of her thighs and up the stairs, making her so wet with that effortless, unyielding strength of yours.

it isn't long before you toss her onto the bed - the bed she used to sleep in with her ex-husband, the bed she spent hours masturbating on to the thought of you, the bed you were now devouring her on.

wanda doesn't know what she's done to deserve this, to deserve your deliciously thick cock ramming into her wet cunt, your hot mouth whispering affectionates into her ear, the silver chain on your neck dangling with each fiery thrust.

she's obsessed with the way your tattooed back muscles flex and move as you pound into her. she tries to forge it into her memory,

you're relentless, gripping her plush thighs and pressing her knees to her head. you know she takes yoga lessons and you haven't been more thankful for that flexibility.

wanda's spread entirely open for you, completely bare, all dripping and vulnerable, and you think you might just die.

that night, you make wanda see constellations she'd never witnessed, make her cum so hard wanda thought she might pass out, and simply take her.

that night was one that etched itself into both of your memories, of heat and fervour and lust and love.

love, those three words neither of you would dare to admit, of unsaid confessions and buried feelings.

when you lay beside a passed-out wanda, your own boundless stamina weary, you suppress the urge to stroke gently at her hair. it takes everything in you to not kiss her forehead and murmur things you'd always regret.

your heart was swelling, growing bigger each time you saw wanda maximoff, but she had little space in her life for you.

but for now, you wouldn’t care if it came back to hit you in the face.

for now, wanda maximoff would be everything to you, and maybe that would suffice.

recently watched ant man, and i swear there was something going on with jentorra and cassie... or maybe that's my syndrome of seeing every fictional woman as lesbian LMAO hope yall enjoyed this, the fic i'll be writing next is probably this :)

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ratgrinders · 1 month

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Every Rat Grinders/Bad Kids Interaction

Alright, here’s a compilation of every single Rat Grinder/Bad Kid interaction so far this season, mostly made for my own reference. This only includes meetings the characters have directly, either via magical/technological means, talking, or seeing the character face-to-face. This doesn’t include times information about the Rat Grinders was revealed without the Rat Grinders themselves being present, such as times the Bad Kids only mentioned the Rat Grinders in passing. Under the cut, because its LONG.

Episode 3: Not All Who Wanda Are Lost

The Bad Kids meet Kipperlilly in the morning, signing up for class president, where she reveals she had passed rogue classes for the year and that her platform is based on fairness.

She points out Ruben across the courtyard where he is getting swarmed for autographs.

Fig goes to bard class disguised as her new emo girl persona “Wanda Childa”, pretending to have a crush on him. After she gets kicked out of class she comes back in later through the window, this time not disguised. Ruben sneers at her, then when Fig sees he has a call from Lola Embers he says “I have to answer that later.”

Episode 4: Under Pressure

Fabian gets a Nat 20 to search for Kipperlilly in the cafeteria and while he doesn’t see her, gets a “twinge of some kind of sense”.

Mary Ann tries out for the Owlbears, seeming nonplussed. She absolutely demolishes Gorgug with a tackle, made possible through some sort of enchantment magic. She makes the team and leaves unceremoniously, uninterested in hanging out with them further.

Episode 6: Party Politics

Oisin, Ivy, and Buddy are all seen at the party at Seacaster Manor (Kipperlilly is not seen, but the Bad Kids discuss the possibility that she was there, just invisible).

Buddy is off to the side of the party with a cup full of water, “positive but deeply judgmental”. The Bad Kids approach and talk about how Fabian’s father is in hell now, how Kristin was the chosen of Helio and defected, and how Buddy feels about the rest of his adventuring party.

Oisin and Ivy are playing beer pong at a table when Adaine walks up and talks to him, with Ivy occasionally interjecting. They discuss how they shared a glyphs class in Freshman year, how he got buff over the summer and that’s why no one recognizes him, how his family is rich and he could provide her with money if she needed it, and how his tattoos function as a conjuration aid. After Adaine leaves, Oisin misses every single shot, which Ivy makes fun of him for (later revealed to be a calculated ploy, as seen in episode 17).

Ivy calls out to Fabian razzing him about his ping-pong table, and when he says “fuck you” and she responds “is that a threat?”, he runs away.

Fig disguises herself as Lucy Frostblade and hides a distance away, catching the attention of Ivy (but not Oisin). Ivy seems surprised and makes a hand motion asking if they should meet, but when Ivy excuses herself and starts to come over Fig runs off and skateboards away.

Ivy comes up to Fabian’s room where the Bad Kids are investigating, and when Fabian lies about doing snuff asks if there’s any for her. She also asks about Fig’s fishnets and if she skateboards. When Mazey comes up and asks if they should play Twister, Ivy insults her and Mazey looks crestfallen. Fig offers to play Twister with Mazey which intimidates Ivy into silence, while Fabian stays with Ivy and blows off Mazey. While everyone else is downstairs playing Twister Kristin stays in the room with Fabian and Ivy third-wheeling, until Oisin comes up to the room and says that he and Ivy have to go.

Episode 7: Stress Tested

Kipperlilly has hired a bunch of food trucks for her campaign and is giving out food at lunch in the courtyard. She’s standing on a platform with Mary Ann next to her handing out flyers. The Bad Kids walk up and talk to her, with Kristin wearing a salsa hat that Kipperlilly is unimpressed by. Kipperlilly says that she wasn’t at the Bad Kids’ party because she was studying, and when Kristin asks why she was studying since the rogue teacher found her and she passed all her classes, Kipperlilly just stares at her in silence. When Kristin mentions her goddess died, Kipperlilly responds really loudly “how can you cast spells?” in an attempt to discredit her, and the other Bad Kids jump in to cast a bunch of spells on Kristin and counteract this.

Fabian clumsily reaches out to Ivy at school and Ivy is snarky and cold to him, saying “You missed your shot, Playboy” since she knew Fabian has been recently hanging out with Mazey.

Episode 8: Fracas at the Frostyfaire Folk Festival

Ruben is performing at the Frostyfaire Folk Festival, with the other Rat Grinders conspicuously absent.

Ruben disguises himself as an old man in an attempt to get the Bad Kids to do drugs, but is caught. He then leaves to go do his set with his band, “My Clerical Gnomance”. As he is playing however, he is interrupted by Principal Grix showing up and casting disintegrate on him. Ruben continues to play while the Bad Kids fight Principal Grix, giving out bardic inspirations to the Bad Kids, and especially to Wanda Childa who he sees in the crowd. He’s written a song just for Wanda and dedicates it to her in the crowd.

Episode 9: Vulture Clash

When the Bad Kids come out of the Vulture Dimension Ruben is being kept in a hold person spell by Principal Grix, poised to strum down on his guitar for an incredible piece of bard magic. When the Bad Kids break hold person Ruben strums and gives everyone a bardic inspiration. Fabian jumps up on stage and says “I’m actually a huge fan” before leaping off and destroying Grix.

Fig as Wanda Childa begins to leave in a minor illusion bus, and Ruben frantically runs after her. After this, he is nowhere to be seen at the festival.

The Bad Kids discover the body of Lucy Frostblade near Lake Shimmerstone, with a rune in her chest preventing her from being resurrected. Kristin uses her clerical magic to free her from being trapped in the cursed domain of this deity, and Lucy and Yolanda hold hands as they move on to the domain of Cassandra.

Episode 10: Cursed Out

All of the Rat Grinders are seen at the school assembly talking about the death of Yolanda and how all clerics will be moved to pass/fail. Most are unconcerned and/or bored.

Fig disguised as Wanda Childa catches Ruben on a bus, where she talks to him about a true crime podcast that’s discussing the death of Lucy Frostblade. Ruben really wants to see this podcast and Fig asks for Ruben’s email address so she can email him the podcast using a burner email. Ruben says he has to leave because he’s getting mobbed for autographs even though he and Wanda are the only people on the bus, and Fig dimension doors away.

Kristin talks to Buddy in the hall about the recent pass/fail news for cleric class and about how chill Buddy is, that he leaves the wrath to Sol. Buddy is concerned about Kristin’s brother Bucky being led away from Helio like she was. He says his grandfather Bobby can come and teach the cleric class so they don’t move to pass/fail. Kristin leaves to go check on her brother and gets protective when Buddy says he can do that if she can’t. Buddy needles her about her dead god, and Kristin responds that she’s coming back for the second time, and Helio only came back once.

Episode 11: A Very Merry Moonar Yulenear

Fig enters Ruben’s dream disguised as Kipperlilly, shaping the environment to look like the crime scene of Lucy Frostblade, and says to him “you need to take the fall for this”. Adaine appears ethereally next to her as the Elven Oracle. After Fig says this, Ruben puts a hand to his mouth and from between his fingers what’s described as blood is squeezing out.

Episode 14: Dawn of Justice

In the cafeteria while Kipperlilly is doing a campaign presentation chants in support of Kristin break out. Kipperlilly walks by the Bad Kids’ table to confront them, and when Kristin needles her about devil’s honey Kipperlilly breaks composure and insults her, “It's really nice how charmed everyone is, by how little you fucking care.” A fight almost breaks out with Fig, Fabian, and Gorgug squaring up while Ivy and Oisin try to calm them down. Riz hisses and Mary Ann comments on it, Fig messages her that she could do better and Mary Ann doesn’t know what she means. She asks Gorgug if he has mango soda and Gorgug gets mad. Buddy tries to calm them down and that they should walk in the light of Helio and Kristin says “he’s almost right”. Kristin tries to give Mary Ann a stuffed squishmallow, but Mary Ann already has that one and that she’ll donate it. Adaine says she thought the wizard was cool, and gets a Message from Oisin just saying “sorry”, and the Rat Grinders leave.

Buddy is the student volunteer proctor for the Bad Kids’ Last Standard Exam, set to revive them if any of them die. The Rat Grinders protest saying he’s biased, but the proctor doesn’t budge saying that Buddy has sworn an oath that will strip him of his connection to Helio should he refuse to revive them.

Episode 15: The Last Stand

Kristin is teleported up on the ledge next to Buddy thanks to Adaine’s Scatter spell. Buddy turns to her and says “This is remarkable”. When Kristin eats the Eye of the Vulture King and is granted True Sight, Buddy asks “Everything all right?”, and behind him, aiming a crossbow at the proctor, is Kipperlilly. Kipperlilly sees that she’s been caught, smiles, and slits Buddy’s throat before being teleported away by Oisin.

Episode 16: Untapped Rage

10 minutes after the Bad Kids leave the Last Stand, Buddy is approached by a 15 foot tall figure who violently revives Buddy back to life with a red gem in his chest, with Buddy saying he worships a nameless god of rage now. Then both Buddy and the figure vanish.

Episode 17: The Name

Fig tries to enter Ruben’s dream but cannot interact with him directly, though she does see his house and feels that his dream is violent and enraged, but also scared. She also sees a version of Ruben, before his shift to an emo aesthetic, walking scared into the Far Haven Woods.

Fig, disguised as Wanda, goes to Ruben’s house and knocks on the door. She doesn’t get a response but a window opens, though it is unclear who is in the window. Fig as Wanda gets shot with a crossbow by Fabian and Kristin Two in the bushes and pretends to be dead, and after some time passes Gorgug with Enlarge cast on him retrieves her body.

Fig goes to Porter’s office and attempts to give him a fake version of the dead god’s name, with Riz, Adaine, and Gorgug hiding nearby. Through a combination of Riz’s blindsense and Adaine’s detect thoughts, it is revealed an invisible Kipperlilly had been hiding invisible on the lockers the whole time, the same way Riz was hiding.

At Fabian’s birthday/election party, just as his home and everyone in it are lifted into the sky thanks to a cloud rider engine, Oisin telepathically messages Adaine to say “You didn’t see the storm coming? Must not be a very good oracle”.

Episode 18: Rock the Boat

Oisin is heard in the distance chanting in another language, and soon after multiple dragons begin encircling Seacaster Manor, currently aloft in the clouds.

Oisin's dragon ancestor shows up, with Kipperlilly, Oisin, and Jace Stardiamond on her back. All are invisible, but are seen by Adaine and Gorgug thanks to their See Invisibility and True Seeing respectively. Both Oisin and Jace cast a spell, Gorgug makes two wisdom saving throws, and then Kipperlilly breaks a Rune of Recall teleporting all three of them away.

#this took so long gfhjdsfsf #and lemme kno if i missed anything!#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy spoilers #original post #rat grinders #kipperlilly copperkettle #ruben hopclap #ivy embra #lucy frostblade #buddy dawn #oisin hakinvar #mary ann skuttle

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delulu-with-wandanat · 9 months

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(Is very) Stuck in our universe

For those of you who are confused, this is just a crack fic of Wandanat (and friends) stuck in our universe that got out of hand LMAO. You can search 'Stuck in our universe' on my blog and that should get you up to speed.

Steve: Guys, I got info that the multiversal traveler is back stage.

Natasha: On it. I’m here, what am I looking for Ste-

Elizabeth: Scarlett??

Natasha *under her breath*: Fuck…

*Turns around*

Natasha *acting*: Elizabeth? Hiii!!

Elizabeth: Heyy!! *hugs Natasha* Woww, you really went full Tom Hiddleston huhh?

Natasha: ??

Elizabeth: You know when he cosplayed Loki!

Natasha: Ahhhh yes yes! I gotta get into the spirit y’know.

Elizabeth: Congratulations on your movie as well! And is it me girl, or you got BUFF.

Natasha: Owwhh stawp. *actually blushed a little*

Elizabeth: You’re definitely a one sexy mama. *winks* If I were gay, I would definitely be into that. *smacks ass jokingly*

Natasha: *laughs awkwardly*

Wanda *who’s been listening*:

Wanda *eyes flaring red*: The audacity of this bitch-

Y/n *holding her back for dear life*: Please calm down-

#source: me mf #natasha romanoff #wandanat #wanda maximoff #natasha #wanda x natasha #wanda #wlw #incorrect wandanat #natasha x sibling!reader #scarletwidow #scarlet widow #incorrect quotes #elizabeth olsen #stuck in our universe

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number1rizgukgakstan · 24 days

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FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR EPISODE 19 (PART 1) LIVEBLOG

HERE WE GO FOLKS! THE BEGINNING OF THE END!

Spoilers below (under the cut)

FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR EPISODE 19 (PART 1) LIVEBLOG

HERE WE GO FOLKS! THE BEGINNING OF THE END!

Spoilers below (under the cut)

"Re-ANKARNATE" Brennan Lee Mulligan the man that you are!!! Excellent pun

Fig Faeth and Gerard Neigh are my favorite animal companion duo ever <333

"Kristen Applebees might be class president in her senior year" crying laughing. Yeah the world is ending but isn't THAT the real thing to stress about??

So do we think that the Thistlesprings are watching the world end from their front porch? Or are they driving the fucking tank across the town to go fuck shit up? I hope they show up.

"This ship isn't actually flying by the way" insane.

"FABIAN DO YOU HAVE A PLACE YOU'RE HOPING TO LIVE?" GORGUG I LOVE YOU

they're putting the seacaster manor by the school's campus I'm crying. Fabian's mom IS going to kill him.

ASK FOR ALLIES! ASK FOR ALLIES! DO NOT BRING K2 BACK AT THE EXPENSE OF BETTER OPTIONS NOOOO

KRISTEN NOOOOOO KRISTEN I GET IT YOU HAVE BIG SISTER HEART BUT I'M CRYING.

ARE THEY ALL MOVING INTO SEACASTER MANOR??? SCREAMING.

Zac Oyama's comedic genius is insane. This man is so fucking brilliant give him a season as a DM

"zelgug fans are finally recovering- WHAT'S THAT? IT'S GORGUG AND UNIT WITH A STEEL CHAIR?????"

"107 degrees farehenheit" average summer temps tbh.

MAZEY! MAZEY! MAZEY! The fact that she's taking everything in stride is brilliant. She's definitely an honorary bad kid now

Ragh + Jawbone flying is a great picture. They're so cool.

I love their strategizing. They're right- Oisin first because wizard's are excellent at crowd control. But Mary Anne needs to go down or be persuaded to not fight ASAP because a powerful barbarian can do massive damage. Gorgug is one example of that- if Mary Anne is allowed to fuck around as much as she wants she'd wipe them out.

Ruben is a lesser threat, as even a high level bard isn't the strongest fighter on the field, but his spell list matters because shit like Irresistible Dance and the higher level buff spells can turn a fight very quickly. Ivy as a Gloomstalker is a problem, but if they can get her to burn her abilities quickly she might be easier to manage. If Buddy's still a Life cleric, he's easier to deal with, but if he switched subclasses upon raging out, a War cleric in particular is a HUGE problem. Offensive clerics are stupid busted.

Honestly is the Ratgrinder's are ACTUALLY level 20, they're going to need a miracle on their side, because level 20 pcs have insane hp and damage outputs, and some of their class skills are busted. Rogue's 'stroke of luck' alone is fucking scary. Not to mention that KLCK might have Elusive if she's level 17, which means RIZ CANT GET SNEAK ATTACKS OFF ON HER. This is INSANE.

ICE FEAST IS REAL!!! FUCK YEAH!!!! 1 level of exhaustion and 1d12 ice damage is insane but the benefits are CRAZY. Holy shit why the FUCK did Kristen never used this before

'Only 1 person needs to be exhausted' and it should be Fabian, actually, because if they only have 1 person on counterspell Jace and Oisin are going to fuck them over so hard.

K2 WITH THE UNION JACK IS ABSURD.

"Fuck it I'm playing the pipes" the most hilarious bit ever especially when they immediately stop being able to fight with the party as soon as he stops concentrating on playing them. 10/10 gag gift

SQUEEM SHOWS UP FOR THE FINAL BATTLE???? HUH??? SQUEEM SHOWS UP??? INSANE ENERGY

Ruben: "why are you so yoked"

Gorgug, in the deepest voice imaginable: "I'm a wizard"

You know what? PEAK Bad Kids energy tonight. We're winning.

"Loser says what" GORGUG IS FUCKING GOING OFF TONIGHT. THE FACT THAT PORTER FELL FOR THAT IS WILD

No one recognizing Fig is so funny. Wanda Childa, the secret seventh Bad Kid

I never noticed Riz has a 6 in strength- no wonder he had to have people load canons for him. Absurd.

PORTER HAD TO BURN A LEGENDARY RESISTANCE??? BEAUTIFUL.

RUBEN's COUNTERSPELL BEING ROBBED BECAUSE OF SLOW IS THE BEST FUCKING MOVE EVER. That takes them down to 2 counterspells a turn, assuming Jace and Oisin both have it prepared, since its a reaction. The ability to prevent multiattacks, slow spells, and force them to use either an action or a bonus action

IVY'S TARGETING HIS FUCKING DOG??? :( EVIL!

Oisin is getting his ass beat by Fig and the Vultures and I love it. Fucking GET THAT BITCH!

"That bitch in the back? I'm gonna skin her alive. She said she was going to do it to Maisey, so I'm gonna do it to her" THATS THAT SEACASTER BLOOD IN HIM!!! Bill would be so proud.

26 AC is wild. Fucking- this battle is going to go so hard I can't wait.

If Ivy dies in 1 turn I'm going to laugh so hard. Most cringefail ranger ever. I love her and hope she gets to come back Aelwyn style.

HOLY SHIT HE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO USE THE ACTION SURGE ATTACKS. HOW LOW WAS IVY????????

"I'm Going to Lose My Virginity to That Girl" FABIAN ARAMAIS SEACASTER, THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND.

DOES OISIIN NOT HAVE SHIELD???? WHY DOES OISIIN NOT HAVE SHIELD????? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THERE???

Kristen leaping under the disintegrating gym is such a beautiful idea and I need to see fanart immediately.

God, Porter's such an intimidating villain. That's some scary ass shit.

I forgot how fucking powerful Psychic Scream is. Bards get insane shit.

NOOOO THE HANGMAN :(

The party has been doing so well in combat it was bound to take a bad turn at some point

"YOU SUCK AT PVP! YOU SUCK AT PVP!" That was Murph possessing Riz for a brief moment.

The fact that they all have low HP but level 9 spells is fascinating. That's not a natural curve to end up on. They must either have shitty con, or level 10 or so stats but access to higher abilities?

"You're a WASTE OF MY TIME" OUCH. OW! OUCH! GET HIM FIG! That whole speech at Ruben fucking HURTS she got his ass good holy shit.

"BUDDY, BAKARATH IS! NOT! REAL!" I love all of them actually.

They all got clustered together because of Riz's slow and now Adaine is casting SYNAPTIC STATIC??? holy shit. This was the most brutal set-up ever.

HOLY SHIT I FORGOT HOW OP SYNAPTIC STATIC IS. GET FUCKED JACE!!!

HOW the FUCK IS JACE CONCENTRATING ON 4 FUCKING SPELLS??? I WANT WHAT HE HAS

This battle is, again, super fucking scary. They're clearly fighting for their lives right now and they just do not have the numbers or the spell slots. I have to have faith BleeM wouldn't give them a fight they didn't have the resources to win,,,, but oh god is it a nail-biter.

Maybe if we're lucky, Arthur Aguefort will come in with the steel chair? Come on man come back and DO YOUR JOB

FABIAN DROPS???

Jace splitting into multiple versions of himself makes this fight brutal. They just don't have the manpower to fight this many spellcasters.

Kristen should have picked allies </3 it makes sense to pick K2 but god yeah

Gorgug's clutch NAT 20s coming back!

OISIN + IVY are both defeated, meaning that they've gone 2 for 2 so far on main party deaths.

"Make sure to cut his head off so he can't be revivified" CANONICALLY SAID BY RIZ??? THIS IS HIS MOMENT.

Holy shit, Gorgug manhandling Porter is maybe the coolest fucking move ever. Gorgug is the world's GREATEST WIZARD!

OISIN DIDN'T EVEN GET A TURN??? LMAO GET WRECKED DRAGON BOY!

What they need is some kind of powerful magic of their own, but none of them have high level spells left. It sucks ass but they're going to get through it cause these are the BAD KIDS!!!

RIZ IS IMMUNE TO FIRE???? OH MY GOD. LAVA SWIMMING TIME!

Brennan not taking into account what full fire damage immunity would do is maybe the funniest bit of this episode. He's essentially given them free range to play lava shenanigans with his battlefield. He has essentially built a battlefield where ONLY HIS VILLAINS have to worry about the hazards.

The army of spellcasters being unable to counterspell because the Bad Kids are being tactical wizards is so fucking sick. I hope Jace and Reuben feel as useless as they fucking are.

"all the jace's waste their reactions' PEAK CLOWNERY!

NOOOO GORGUG WENT DOWN :[

"What's my name?" The SASS! I love Adaine so much

Mary-Anne is my favorite character forever and ever. "Jace, I don't feel well" GIRL ME TOO!

"I counterspell his counterspell" WIZARD BATTLESSSSSS!!!! AND SHE CRITTED THE SAVE FOR FLESH TO STONE??? HELL YEAH!

"STUPID IDIOT! HAVE WE EVER HAD A CONVERSATION?" THEY ARE BEATING HIS ASS!

THE RAGE TOKEN MECHANIC WAS FOR THE FINAL BATTLE??? HOLY SHIT THEY LUCKED OUT!

"No one wants to engage with the temptation of my sort of philosophy- You're juicing and we can all see it" DEVASTATING. Porter keeps taking hits that would kill me instantly

There's only ten minutes left in the episode right now so I have to ask- how did they cut this? What cliffhanger am I going to be left on? Should i be fearful? I'm gonna be fearful.

Riz's mindgames are so fucking brilliant. This man is just as much as a Mastermind as KLCK, he just has better motivations. (They're real

The music kicked up? What the fuck is this music? Hm? Hm? Is this a good sign or a bad sign? Whatever it is, I'm fucking with it.

FIG SURVIVING BY THE SKIN OF HER FUCKING TEETH! SHE IS THE CHOSEN ONE BITCHES!!!!!!

"YOU DON'T KNOW HER LIKE I DO!" FUCK YEAH!

That moment with Ankarna was seriously sweet. They are the best friends forever to me.

NOOO MARY-ANN'S STRAWBERRY D: BRENNAN THAT WAS THE CRUELEST THING YOU COULD HAVE DONE.

BUDDY LOST CONCENTRATION!!!!!! HELL YEAH!!

Fig is THE plan-slayer. The bit-defeater! THE SCHEME-FOILER!

RUBEN FUCKING DIED! FIG FUCKING MURDERED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM? HOLY SHIT???? SHE SENT HIS ASS TO THE BLACK PIT!

THE OUTFITS IN THE PREVIEW ARE BRILLIANT AND I LOVE THEM!!!

ARTHUR SHOWING UP AT THE LAST SECOND IS BRILLIANT!

I'm SO EXCITED FOR THE LAST EPISODE!!! :D

#fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy liveblog #fhjy #d20 spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 finale

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