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#bruh it looped around to future new years
afternoondreaming · 3 months
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Imagine: Celebrating the New Year with Wheatley
(Gender Neutral Reader)
    Down in the depths of the Aperture Science Enrichment Center it becomes incredibly difficult to tell time. Most clocks are either broken or out of battery. Any atomic clocks that might have adorned a desk were damaged beyond repair. Two things, however, have never let you down. The first is your always chatty companion, Wheatley. The second: the moon.
    You catch glimpses of the beautiful celestial body in a very certain room. You’re on a higher level of the facility for sure, although through the years the floor level designations have long since worn away. There is a hole, large and rotten around the edges as the ceiling tiles wear away from rain. You can see through countless floors, countless miles up, until the moon- sublime and beaming- takes up the star-pocked sky.
    You had developed a simple moon calendar based on one Wheatley had mentioned during his rambling stories, and he even gave you a starting date to help. While you couldn’t be sure of his accuracy, you could at least be appreciative of his help. As often as you can, the two of you would return to the room for respite and to add a notch onto your calendar. One night as the two of you chat away about nothing, something comes to Wheatley.
    “Oh! Love, mark on that calendar- lovely job by the way, amazing idea I had and you completed, teamwork- it’s New Year’s Eve! You humans take that seriously, don’t you? That whole Y2K incident and all.” His optic rolled at the mention of that. Although you weren’t quite paying attention past his first statement.
    “It’s New Years Eve?” You repeated it back to him. It couldn’t possibly be New Years Eve. There’s no fanfare, no fireworks- the world is silent. To be fair, there is no one to celebrate it around here. Just Wheatley, GLaDOS, and you; you highly doubt GLaDOS would be holding a New Years Eve party. “Wheatley, how long until midnight?”
    “Around...” He pauses for a moment, glancing up at nothing. “Two hours. Love, I know New Years is important to you humans, but- don’t know if you noticed- we have no traditional means of celebration.”
    You clap your hands together and start putting your plan into motion. Wheatley watches you from the position you had put him on a desk, commenting and questioning here and there. You string some rusty paperclips into a chain and hang it using some spare push-pins- really hoping whoever had you asleep kept you up on your tetanus shots-  and get to work cutting out some firework shapes from colored printer paper to tape to the walls. 
    “You like fireworks, Love?” Wheatley asked, oddly quiet for his usual rambling self.
    “Well, they are loud, but they’re beautiful. The colors glowing against the dark night sky...” Some sadness creeps up on you as you’re cutting out the fireworks, but you push it back down and continue crafting. “Anyways, it really is beautiful. These little things don’t really compare.” You chuckle as you hold up one of them for Wheatley to see. “I think they’re cute though!” You start pinning them to the wall.
    “Y’know, Love, I’ve never actually seen them- well, never footage of them at least. Never been out of here anyway, no management rail up and all. I-... Like yours.” His eye is looking at anything but you at this point. He sputters “Could’ve done some science to make them glow- not hard of course, for a core of my intellect.” You giggle and his optic meets your eyes again. As you walk over to him you smile, taking a seat on the desk at a nice spot where you could see both the moon and your little craft project.
    “Time check, Wheatley?” You cradle him on your lap, gazing wistfully at the heavenly body.
    “From my extensive calculations- very hard to do, by way, very complex- I would say its about to be a minute from New Years Day. I’ve heard you humans- silly things you are- like to count down the seconds. You start from... Ten, I believe?”
    “You’re right, we humans are silly... Lets count down, okay, Wheats?” The sadness from before starts to weigh on you. How long has is been since you’ve been outside? Seen the world, seen any kind of civilization or people... Hearing him begin to count snaps you out of it. You join him, rhythmically counting down the seconds until you finally reach the end. You see no fanfare in the sky, hear no booming of fireworks or clinking of glasses. Just the unending silence and creaking of a facility long forgotten.
    “Happy New Year, Love...” Wheatley whispers, a rare quiet in his voice. “Thank you- for the fireworks and sparkly banners... Its the best one I’ve ever had.” His kind words are exactly what you needed. You look to your wall of crafts, the paper clips twinkling in the light and your crude paper cut outs finding new meaning.
    “Happy New Year, my dear.” You whisper back, holding him close and putting a gentle kiss on his metal chassis. He doesn’t respond, but the gentle whirring of his fans lulls you into peace. Eyes still gazing up at the moon.
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lovee-infected · 3 years
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This idea just hit me like a train. How would twst boys react to WAP from Cardi B?? 😂😂😂
I'm trying to ignore the fact that I might've never discovered WAP without this request...🗿
Warning(s): What should I even tag as the warning idkk ckcjxjsjsjdjdjck- Mentions of WAP's lyrics, mentions of nsfw, Warning for Idia's part bc I think it went a bit too far-
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Riddle Rosehearts
Heard of this song named WAP being trending between students -> Searched it up -> Riddle:... Riddle: *Turns off his phone*
Bans WAP from the whole Heartslabyul afterwards, and every student found listening to it will have to face Riddle's: "NOOOOOOO- NO WAP IN THIS HOUSEHOLD - GO TO HORNY JAIL OFF WITH YOUR HEADS YOU UNWORTHY CREATURES- "
Trey Clover
Searches: "What does WAP mean?" before wards and after reading the search results he decides that he doesn't really need to listen to the song itself anymore.
He just clears his browsing history and returns to baking cakes. Nothing has happened, he knows nothing.
Cater Diamond
He is the guy making those "Night raven college react to WAP!!" videos on magicam. His reaction videos get over 100k views and people from all over the Twisted Wonderland start following this dork for them.
Who cares about the WAP itself? As long as he can gain followers over these videos he doesn't care how the song is supposed to be.
But at last Riddle discovers his videos by finding other dorms' students laughing over them and forces him to take them down💀 Man, Riddle really did ruin his once-in-a-life time chance for becoming popular.
Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade
Riddle has banned WAP Heartslabyul so they're going to illegally listen to it. It was Ace's fault though, Deuce is innocent.
Ace searchs up the music video, Deuce just sees the thumbnail and tells Ace that he doesn't think that this is going to be a good idea but Ace cuts him off by asking him not to be such a chicken-
Though they had to stop because Deuce was all shaky and embarrassed after just 20 seconds :"Stop this-STOP THIS- I CAN'T DO THIS- WE'RE STILL TOO YOUNG" and Ace had to stop to shut Deuce because they could've gotten caught at any second because of his unholy screams.
[a few minutes later...]
Deuce: It was saying DOORS in this house
Ace: Bruh what the- we both know it was saying Wh*res.
Deuce: Y-you dirty minded bastard!! It was clearly saying doors in this house!
Ace: Why the hell would they say doors in this house!??? It was wh*res!
Deuce: Doors!
Ace: WH*RES
Deuce: DOORS
Ace: WH*RES
Deuce: DOOOOORRRSSSSSSSSS
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Leona Kingscholar
See he might be a jerk but he hasn't yet gotten to the level of appreciating this way of presenting women in songs-
He's just going to pretend that WAP doesn't exist,but most of the Savanaclaw on the other hand are going wild because with WAP, now he can't even take a peaceful nap without WAP being looped in his brain.
Ruggie Bucchi
WAP isn't beyond his power, he's handled stronger songs.�� He'd regularly rap WAP in public when he's feeling like it.
Now he goes around to recommend WAP to naïve students and taint their virginity by making them listen to WAP without knowing what it is-
Jack Howl
Catches Ace and Deuce listening to WAP and ends up listening to it because of them. He doesn't knpw what to say...
He isn't mad, just disappointed. Disappointed parent noises. Out of all these students, why should he best buddies which these two?
Time to drag Ace and Deuce to a corner and give them a long speech on why young men their age need to be focusing on mastering skills and achieving success through these golden years instead of violating rules and tainting their pure minds.
"Trappola-kun, Spade-kun, you've greatly disappointed me. You need to be more mindful of your actions as fellow freshmen of night raven college. Is this how the future's great magicians are going to be? How do you think your parents would feel about this new habit of yours? Have you thought of how despicable women are being presented through such songs? Are you going to support such a taboo message toward ladies?"
And Ace and Deuce end up having to listen to him and think of their bad actions for the rest of the day...
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Azul Ashengrotto
[Before listening to WAP]: He hears of this WAP song being super trending between students. What might it secret be? What kind of magic would make a simple song so hecking popular? He has to find out.
Azul thinks that by learning WAP's ways, he might be able to produce songs that are even better for mostrolounge and even start his very own music company! But before that he needs to listen to wap itself...
[After listening to WAP]: ...He discovers what kind of magic is making it so popular, but decides that it'd be better for him take a step back from the world of music for now. Yes, he's traumatized
Floyd Leech
"Hey hey koooeeebiii chaaannnn have you seen my new dance~?" ah yes, he's got the WAP dance and he's proud of it. These are the time when he's genuinely thankful for getting to have human legs.
But the WAP dance isn't his only target, he realizes that Jamil doesn't seem to want Kalim to know anything about WAP, but thankfully, Floyd is going to be kind enough to bless the young Kalim with his wealthy knowledge on WAP. ✨
Jade Leech
"My...my...that was savage," Jade is amazed, it's quite wonderful how these fragile creatures can go from Micheal Jackson's smooth criminal to WAP in a matter of years.
He's still having trouble keeping up with latest human trends and popular songs but, he's slowly liking humans a lot more than before. These creatures have already reached the level to make put p*rn in music, impressive.
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Kalim Al Asim
He hears students whispering about an epic song named WAP during the classes, and of course he'd be intrigued!
He looks up the song but Jamil has already blocked his access to any sources that he might find WAP in, yet Floyd was kind enough to lend Kalim his phone to let him listen to this masterpiece. Later on, Floyd tells him about the WAP dance and bam, Kalim is addicted.
"Everyone watch me! I've got the WAP!"
Poor Jamil doesn't know which is worse, having Kalim signing it loudly in the dorm or watching him showing off his skills in that WAP dance in public. It's time for Jamil to go on a long, long trip and never come back until Kalim graduates from this school.
Jamil Viper
Listens to WAP once, is going to spend the rest of his life pretending that he has never heard or watched it. The most ironic part about it is how he watches the music video instead of just listening to the song and...the snakes. Good lord the snakes- He isn't sure if he likes snakes anymore.
The snakes part seriously traumatizes him but not like Kalim does when he asks Jamil to learn him the WAP dance. And heck no Jamil isn't going to learn him how to dance like a wh*re. At this point, he decides to deny WAP's whole existence.
Kalim: At least tell me what a WAP is!
Jamil:
Jamil: Worship and prayer.
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Vil Schoenheit
Hasn't listened to WAP and refuses to do so. He's got standards.
Rook Hunt
"Bravo!!! These Mademoiselles have taken the art of music to a whole nother level! Beaute! 100 points! 💯" (...what else did you expect him to say?)
Just as always, no one can really tell if Rook really liked it or not but from the way he acts he seems to be... intrigued. Apparently WAP starts to get too famous in school and Rook would always be the first one to find out if a student is secretly listening to WAP in public, so he doesn't mind popping up and reminding the students not to listen to such a potentially stimulating song so carelessly: "Monsieur (x), it's adorable to see you appreciating such a glorious piece of art in this lovely day, but I don't think that all of these students staring at us right now are yet prepared for such a beauty,"
Epel Felmier
He just asked Ace for some music that'll make him sound more badass and Ace gave him the WAP:
Epel listening to WAP be like:😳😶😨😕😭
His face is redder than a tomato after the first 30 seconds of WAP, but Ace tells him that he'd be the bravest human being ever if he takes the urge to listen to this in front of teachers.
Tries to dance to WAP and make a video with it to upload on magicam, but Vil catches him in the middle of process.💀💀💀 The video turned out pretty good though. It looks just like a mother (Ehm- Vil) getting into her child's room (Epel-) and finding them doing some crazy shit.
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Idia Shroud
He's the silent and seemingly shy dude who's listening to WAP in the highest volume under those head phones during classes.
Divus Crewel: CaF2(s) + Br2(ℓ) → CaBr2(s) + F2(g)...
Inside Idia's headphones: " ~ Wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~"
Bonus: He once forgets to connect his headphones to his tablet before playing WAP:
[Wap is being played at max volume inside Trein's class]
Idia: *Thinks that the sound is coming from his head phones*
The classroom: "Beat it up, n*gga, catch a charge
Extra large and extra hard
Put this p**sy right in your face
Swipe your nose like a credit card"
Trein: 😳
Students: 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
Crowley about to jump down: 🤭
Idia still not realizing what the hell is going on: 'Lucy lucy baby~ hihihi- wait- why they all staring at me now...? Did they hear me internally flirt with Lucius?'
No need to say what happened to Idia after this...
Ortho Shroud
No WAP for him. You may find him reacting to "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" if you're interested.🗿
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Malleus Draconia
Thank goodness he just finds the censored version of WAP... Listens to the whole song, but doesn't understand most of the lyrics. The "Put this cookie right in your face" part confuses him the most, he doesn't get it. Why would you put a cookie in your face? Is this something humans usually to do with their desserts? Like, would they put ice cream in their faces too?
Virgin dragon keeps on asking people, including Lilia, to tell him what it means to put a cookie in one's face, yet no one seems to give him any proper answers ):
Perhaps human music just isn't his thing, he's getting back to sad violin noises which he listens to when he isn't invited.
Lilia Vanrouge
WAP go brrrrrrr. Our sassy grandpa is legit in love with this piece of gold and all of the humans for achieving such a glory. The beat is superb and the lyrics are: Delicious, motivational and creatively written.
Even better, WAP has an unofficial but smexy dance too. Old man Lilia is never too old for performing a sexy physically challenging dance.
You can now hear savage rock sounds combined with WAP playing in the background coming from his room when he's vibing in the afternoon.
(I can totally see him wearing a neko maiden costume while dancing to WAP and you can't tell me otherwise)
Silver
Finds WAP in papa Lilia's playlist...
Silver:
Silver:
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Sebek Zigvolt
Sweet mother of love Sebek feels like listening to WAP has taken his virginity away-
He is a good boy, no, he once was a good boy. He's no longer the worthy man he used to be now that this unholy song has tainted his soul.
Legit feels guilty and and sinful after WAP, so you can find him praying for forgiveness to that Malleus portrait in his room every night.
"Oh young master forgive my thoughtless deeds, I beg for your mercy upon me now that I've sinned..."
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Dire Crowley
Not saying that a drag Queen Crowley dancing to WAP would be a thing, but a drag Queen Crowley dancing to WAP would be a thing- Everyone bow down to the Headmaster, the most gracious of them all 😩😩😩👌🏻
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Please, don't blame him. Birby is under too much of pressure after the very recent overblot cases and he needs a way to let go of the stress😔😔😔
Sam
Is illegally selling copies of the WAP because most of the dorms had blocked access to this song for the students...
"Helloooooo little demons I've got the WAP! In stuck now-"
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We Sold Our Souls to Instagram
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September 2020 // Chapter 2
“No, I’m not going to pick you up.” I shook my head, visibly and audibly annoyed. “You know damn well that I’m not getting behind the wheel. I’m hanging up, sorry.”
Converting potential energy into kinetic, the iPhone X left my hand, skimming across the wave-front of my bed. My hands ruffled through my hair as I inhaled then sighed, absentmindedly channelling the virtues of cellular respiration.
Tired of this perpetual bullshit, my fingers slithered across the Ikea desk before me, eventually detecting the apple of my bedroom’s Eden: a lychee ice Puff Bar. My fingers honed in on the device, ensnaring it, raising it to my lips. A deep breath saved me from the agony of sobriety, the nicotine buzz lasting a moment. Then, it was lost.
Six soft, knuckled knocks rapped at the bedroom door. “It’s unlocked,” I shouted.
A creak later, the door swung open, revealing Adam. There was nobody else in the house anyway. With a global pandemic at large and wildfires blazing on deep into September, neither Ajay nor Cam had seen Dwight House since March. Just Adam and me.
“Yo, we out,” he said, pulling a reusable, black cloth mask under his chin. “Can’t see shit outside but we still drinking, dawg.” Ah, the charming vernacular of a Korean-American friend from the elite suburbs of the East Bay.
“It’s good. What’re we feeling today?” I had actually enjoyed the past six months with Adam—it had been a good bonding experience. Despite his rough tone around me and the rest of the guys, Adam was quite versatile in social settings, weaving between upper-class gentility at investment banking info sessions and middle-aged rednecks at gun ranges. With classical Berkeley-liberal ideologies and Wall Street Journal-reading, center-right-leaning, finance friends, Adam defied social realities.
Adam shrugged. “Could go for some Chimay. I’m feeling classy.”
“Not a bad idea at all, my friend,” I said. It had been awhile since I’d had a good beer like Chimay, and I was getting sick of Coors Banquets. “On the other hand, your timing just might be—a bad idea, I mean. Air looks cancerous outside.” Marmalade light cast by the wildfires of a fuming Earth engulfed Northern California, held in suspense by cool, Pacific layers of atmosphere. It was like we were on planet Arrakis, from Dune, or trapped in the world of David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust.
“The air low-key is cancerous. AQI is pushing 180’s right now,” said Adam, raising his eyebrows.
“Looks like an N95-kinda day. I’ve got a spare, you know,” I said, gesturing to a pile of three or so N95 masks by the lamp on my desk.
Adam waved it off. “Eh, I’m good. That’s some puss shit. Let’s just run over to Crafts and Grapes or some shit, shouldn’t take long.”
I shrugged. “So be it.”
Tossing on a pair of five-and-a-half inch inseam Lululemon shorts, I joined Adam as he hopped downstairs.
“Got keys?” he asked once we reached the door.
“Yer, we out,” I said, shaking my keys out from my shorts’ pocket to lock the front door.
“Fuck,” griped Adam. “It’s actually hot as shit out here.” Smoky, red air obscured him from sight as he craned his neck to see me.
“Hence the shorts.”
Adam squinted his eyes, pursed his lips, and jutted his head back and forth, mocking me. “For sure. Forgot your MCAT-lovin’-ass could predict the future. But really though—it’s the middle of September, dude. This shit is wrong. It’s hot as balls and California is on fire and the sky is red and fools are straight-up dying off this COVID shit.”
“And you’re still an idiot,” I said, flashing a cheeky smile.
“Are you qualified to diagnose me as an idiot?”
“Maddie would say so.”
“Hence the pet names.”
“Precisely.”
“We gotta do something about this, bruh. This shit pains me to see,” declared Adam.
“Let’s start by drinking these brews. We’ll recycle the bottles after.”
We walked east on Dwight toward Telegraph, dodging cars as we skipped across the one way street. Adam was quieter than usual, for the most part, looking up from his iPhone 11 Pro Max periodically to comment on something he’d read in the news, or the glum weather. He wore a khaki short sleeve button-up, Kapital raw denim jeans with smiley face patchwork on the back left pocket, and a pair of slip-on Nike Janoski sneakers. The jeans were nice—quite expensive, from the looks of it—but looked baggy on him. He didn’t seem to mind. In fact, all of his clothes  wore a bit loose on him, akin to a fiery adolescent who’d picked out hand-me-downs from an older sibling. Who that older sibling might’ve been, I’d never know—with his unwavering demeanor, Adam always seemed like the eldest in the room.
Banking right onto Telegraph, we bore the full brunt of the veiled sun, which, though hidden behind dense clouds of smoke, now revealed its penetrating UV rays. We ducked under corrugated foam polycarbonate sheets, which lined the rooftops of mom-and-pop Telegraph shops, fending off the sun’s cancerous radiation. The insanity of the world mingled with the smoky, copper air, making me delirious. I imagined I was Mel Gibson or Tom Hardy in Mad Max, feigning off flashbacks in the Wasteland. At the corner of Telegraph and Blake street, Adam pushed and held open the door to Crafts and Grapes. Nodding my head at him in small thanks, I entered, squinting my eyes as the light shifted from hazy red to bright white inside. It was a tiny store, with two aisles directly ahead lined with candy, nuts, and other inconsequential (unless you ate too many) snacks, followed by two refrigerators: one in the back, the other on the far right. Cool, wispy air emanated from the cold storage, contrasting with the late summer atmosphere only meters behind us. A bell rang as the door squeaked to a halt, prompting the middle-eastern cashier, directly to our right, to rise from his stool and greet us. We nodded back silently, all three of us clad in masks.
Per usual, Adam took the lead, striding toward the fridge directly back. He popped open one of the see-through doors with his left hand, mapping his way through its items with his right pointer finger. Finding my eyes, Adam shook his head, indicating a lack of Chimay.
“Blue moons?” I suggested. “Mango wheats?”
Adam screwed up his face. “Fuck that. Let’s go with Lags.”
“Sure, why not.”
Adam kneeled and looped his hand through the cardboard handle of a Lagunitas StereoHopic IPA six-pack. We walked over to the register where Adam made small talk with the cashier. Eventually, he tapped his iPhone 11 to an Ingenico payment terminal, finalizing our transaction. Drinks acquired.
The bell jingled as the door shut behind us once more. We hurried home, eager to crack open our drinks, intent on droning out the blistered yonder. Adam tried to explain his enthusiasm for hoppy beers while I pretended to listen. He was distracting me, though; we both knew I couldn’t care less.
Arriving home, my keys found their way to the door, and we found our ways to the couch. A tenor beep resounded through our living room as Adam’s iPhone connected to an old speaker via bluetooth. “Street Lights” by Kanye West filled the air, followed by carbon dioxide bubbles freed by an unlikely liberator—the bottle opener.
Let me know
Do I still got time to grow?
Things ain’t always set in stone
That be known let me know
I found myself back in the hand-me-down BMW 330i, with her, the white wire packed into the lightning port of my iPhone, transmitting cosine waves that replicated the robotic voice I was listening to in my living room.
“Stop!” she cried, thrusting herself back against beige, leather seats. She wanted me to press the brakes. I had to stop the car, right, stop the car. Where were the brakes?
She was beautiful, of course.
Dark, brown hair fell over eyes of the same color, guarded by double-lids that I wish she hadn’t paid for.
Hardly anyone would notice the difference, but I did, and it hurt to know that she didn’t love them.
I loved them, unconditionally, but she loved the brakes.
Needed to find them.
We’d shared a large bowl of Marafuku’s acclaimed Hakata Tonkotsu DX ramen. I’d let her eat most of it, sneaking my chopsticks in for bites at intervals.
“Pennsylvania?” I shook my head.
“What, you’ve never been?” She tilted hers. “You’ll love it. Come with me.”
“You’re crazy,” I said, smiling. “My MCAT summer is coming up.”
She rolled her eyes. “Then I’ll help you study for it. Duh.”
“I’m sure Brandon would love that.”
“Will he? All the way from San Francisco?”
“He’ll make the trip.”
“Not if you do,” she said, melting my mind.
I was dizzy, sleepy, lost, a newborn. Vulnerable. And I couldn’t seem to find them.
I’m just not there in the streets
I’m just not there
Life’s just not fair
Life’s just not fair
Sonorant chimes reverberated in my ears as Adam clinked his glass bottle to mine. “Cheers,” he said with a nod.
“Cheers,” I echoed. Leaning my head back, I swallowed, allowing the cool liquid down my esophagus and into my gut.
“You good?” he prodded.
“Yeah,” I replied, my voice cracking a little. I cleared my throat.
“Pretty hoppy, huh?”
I took another sip, licking my lips after. “Quite. I suppose we knew what we were getting ourselves into. You know, given the ‘StereoHopic’.”
“You right.”
“Yeah.”
“Yo,” said Adam. “On another note—might be going in on an addy deal with Grace if you’re tryna hop in.”
I scratched my head. While I wouldn’t have any major exams in the near future (although midterms for my biochem course [MCB 102, for my fellow pre-med students at Cal] were slated for October sixteenth), I certainly had errands that might be eased by a twenty milligram dose of extended-release Adderall. There’s nothing like a thorough room-cleaning session when you’re high on stimulant drugs.
The first time I ever tried Adderall must’ve been during my freshman year, back in 2017. Midterm season was approaching—come to think of it, that was around this time that year—and our generous friend, Grace, was kind enough to grant me a ten milligram pill of instant-release Adderall. Grace and I, along with Adam and perhaps Ajay, too, were partaking in a midnight study session at Moffitt Library, which was open twenty-four-seven—prior to the pandemic. I popped the pill, chased it down with a Javiva drink from Peet’s, and got to work.
Twenty minutes later I began to feel its effects as the amphetamine altered monoamines in my brain, releasing surplus dopamine into my many synaptic clefts. Optimism filled me to the brim and my vision bent inward. I saw nothing but the iPad in front of me, my mind enamored by golgi apparatuses and various protein structures. The stimulant saturated me with a profound appreciation for all thoughts that meandered into my head; a giddiness originated in my heart, spreading down my arms, my legs, and outward across my skull, contracting then expanding once more. It was artificial love.
Eventually, I was distracted. Grace’s dilated pupils stared into mine as she chattered away  about Lin-Manuel Mir-something and a hurricane in Puerto Rico. After a second or two, my attention snapped away from cell membranes, landing instead on her words. The words of a girl from Colorado with a soft spot for the snow. I’d met Grace via Adam during Orientation Week and she’d quickly become one of my favorite people.
Gingerbread specks stippled her face like a George Seurat painting, fractal constellations arising as my eyes outlined her cheekbones. Gaps between long, chocolate locks revealed sepia collarbones, lined with descendants of the freckles on her face. A white Nike Alex Morgan soccer jersey overlaid the loose sweatpants that hung from her hips, held up by drawstrings I almost hoped would fail, concealing proportions that emulated golden ratios. Stained, white, laceless Vans hugged unpainted toes that tapped together when she spoke. Lips that scorned the artificially enlarged mouths of Instagram influencers communicated messages I was only barely beginning to listen to. She was the love interest of a nineties’ coming-of-age motion picture. But she wasn’t mine.
You know, I thought Adam might’ve loved her, but it was hard to tell when he was cycling through hookups with three different girls at a time. Come to think of it, I didn’t know if Adam loved anyone. A talker, yes; a charmer, certainly; but a romantic, I really didn’t think so.
He spent a lot of his time with her, no doubt. And she cared for him—anyone could see it. But she knew as well as I did that his head wasn’t in it. He wasn’t looking for love. He wanted to graduate, make money—to be someone. Sex seemed like nothing more than a physical need to him. I don’t think anyone would’ve described Adam as an emotionally vulnerable guy, and I don’t think anyone thought that emotion was what he kept those girls around for.
But at the same time, anyone could’ve seen what I saw in the way he bounced when she was around. Anyone could’ve heard the way he spoke about her. She meant something to him. But when you asked him about it, he’d brush it off; she wasn’t his type, or he had commitment issues (jokingly—but hey, grain of truth in everything).
Maybe she was his distraction from ambition—his distraction from latex-wrapped, emotionally removed nights and Wall Street Journal mornings, just as she was my distraction from cell structures.
For a good hour-and-a-half, Grace entertained me with conversation regarding natural disasters across the West; Broadway musical comparisons between Hamilton and Sunday in the Park with George; and the latest updates on Cal’s women’s soccer team, of which she was a huge fan. The Adderall certainly kept me focused, although not necessarily on my coursework.
“Let me know,” said Adam, tipping the bottle into the corner of his mouth. “I’m boutta text her back.”
I looked up from my lap at Adam. Right, I thought. “Sure, I could be down. Why not. Think you can pick me up two? I have some errands to run.”
“Twenty milligram XR work?” he asked as he tapped along the screen of his iPhone.
“That’ll do.”
The room went quiet for twenty to twenty five seconds as I was confirmed as an accomplice in the drug deal.
“What’s she been up to?” I asked.
“Hm?” he noised, raising his eyebrows without looking up.
“Grace,” I said. “Haven’t seen her much.”
He shrugged. “Not much, I guess. Drinking a solid amount though, from what I’ve seen.”
“Makes three of us.”
“Yeah,” he said, feigning a smile. “What about yours?”
“Maddie?”
“Yeah.”
I took a deep breath—inhaling, holding to the count of four, exhaling. “Not much of a difference, to be honest.”
“It’s not her fault, you know.”
“I know,” I breathed.
“Then talk to her.”
“It’s not like that,” I mumbled.
Adam paused.
I stared at my feet. “I’m sorry, Adam.”
He squinted. “The fuck you sorry for?”
“You know.”
He waved his hand aside, brushing it off. “I’m not tripping. Talk to her. Before I do it myself.”
I forced a smile. “Maybe it’s better off that way.”
“Here,” he said, handing me a two-foot-tall bong and lighter from under the coffee table. “Take it.”
Couldn’t stay away. My fingers gripped the paraphernalia as he withdrew. My heart quickened as the impending drug interaction approached. When it reached my lips, I lit, then inhaled, holding to the count of four, and then some. Blurry feelings rushed my mind as states of sufferance gave way to sedated nebulas, teaching me forgetfulness.
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zaymadden-author · 4 years
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Written by ZAY MADDEN
“Man, this is not how Saturday nights are supposed to go.” With all the shit going on in the world, I’ve been house-bound for a minute, and at this point I’m all TikTok’d out. A couple of my boys and my cousin Terrell pulled up on me around 8 for a couple rounds of 2K 🎮, but you know how Mississippi weather is. Mother Nature randomly decided to do her dirty work and had them staying later than planned, but once the sky stopped roaring, I sent my boys home. It was time for a night cap.
I trailed them outside to make sure they were all gone, and once the last car looped around my driveway, I could finally sit on my porch and think. I had my D’USSÈ 🥃 in one hand and my phone in another, scrolling through my thread of texts to see which girl I could get to bless my night; it was part of my weekend ritual. I had a rule though: never start at the top because most recent pussy tends to be not as interesting unless she really got that 🍑💦 if you know what I’m saying.
So, last I checked, Keisha wit the plump ass moved to Florida, which is unfortunate for me. She had one hell of a mouth piece in bed but never ran her mouth in the streets. I could respect that and that’s why I keep her on standby.
The next on my list, Monica, was on the classy end of the spectrum, but it was like rolling dice with her ass. Most of the time she waits until 7 am to reply. Her brain was still accustomed to her school schedule and she had a day job too, so I respected that. However, it sucked for me though cuz Monica was bad af from head to toe and really would’ve gave me a night to remember. Shit, I still reminisce about our last rendezvous. She had pretty feet and plump lips that felt like pillows with each kiss. And I know it’s weird, but I think it’s a turn on whenever I see her with those scrubs on. It’s just something about a hard-working black woman. (Damn smh.) I decided not even bother her this late.
So I kept scrolling up right, slowly feeling my luck build up, when my phone all of a sudden ding’d. My heart started thumping against my rib cage, and the corners of my mouth shot up. I couldn’t wait to see who this could be.
(I turn my notification banners off for good reason.)
Could it be Ashley? (The one that stayed wayyy out in Clinton). She usually texts when she wants some dick but it takes her forever to get to my place in Madison.
I put my search on pause and immediately made my way to the top to see who it could be. And would you believe it? “She always does this shit bruh. Like fr!”
Lo and fucking behold:
[MOM: Can you take your grandma to the store in the morning? I forgot to tell you earlier. Phone died.]
MAN 😤!! I almost summoned the spirit of Brady and launched $999 worth of iPhone in the damn pond. It’s 12:02 at night. She could’ve just waited until daylight resumed before bothering me with this!
I know that’s my heart and soul, but grandma is not the type of woman I want on my mind right now. But I replied “ok” to avoid any further communication at this hour.
I kept scrolling through my digital black book and I contemplated, but immediately dismissed, the idea of calling Alisha over. She said I be hurting her so she only wanna do oral. “Naw. I’ll pass. I’m good on that tonight.” Nobody else seemed worthy of hitting up at the time, at least this time of night, so I head inside. I locked the door behind me and made my way to the bathroom to get ready for bed. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I spritzed a little water on my head and brushed my waves into submission before securing it with my DuRag. Staring at this thick-browed, handsome, brown skinned fellow in the mirror, I began to question whether I still had it. “I am only 23 so that’s nowhere near the ‘falling off’ age,” I say to myself. I guess with me working day and night, I didn’t have time to pull ‘em like I used to.
So, I went and plopped on my bed, face towards the ceiling, contemplating my future, when I heard the sound of rocks sloshing under tires. The sound slowly magnified, and to myself I’m thinking that maybe one of my homeboys forgot something in my house. A barcode-like shadow cast on my wall as the luminance of headlights beamed through my blinds. I almost walked to the door empty handed, but the detective Stabler in me wasn’t taking any chances. So, I grabbed my piece in my night stand and asserted my second amendment rights. Tip-toe after tip-toe I was almost to the door when I heard the engine stop. A few seconds later there was this rhythmic chiming noise echoing through the walls. I crept to the front window stealthily, and peeked out the blinds. I could recognize the vehicle but I had to be sure it was who I thought it was, so I flicked on the second outdoor light.
All I saw was curly tresses flowing through the window of a pink Lexus.
“Aaliyah?” ..... “but how did she?”
With a mixture of anxiety and excitement, I snatched open the front door 🚪 to greet her. And when I saw her strut up the walkway with a touch of flair, a second emotion arose: confusion. How did she know I was alone? How did she know there wasn’t another girl here? It’s been two years and I still can’t figure out how this girl knows me so well and I think that’s why she intrigued me so much. It also scared me a little bit too. I usually don’t let a girl come over unannounced.
She would’ve been the first girl I tried to text, but last I checked she was in New York on business.
I shoot commercials for a living and I did one for her boutique. That’s how we came across each other.
But she’s here now so who cares that she popped up. (Maybe that’s just my dick talking 🤷🏾‍♂️... idk)
She had two Raising Cane’s bags, which I’m guessing that, during this pandemic, was the only thing she could come across at this time a night. Everything else was closed, even Taco Bell.
She let out a soft “Hey” as she bat her lashes and I quickly shut the gap in my mouth.
“What’s up?” I then responded.
And for a moment our eyes did a tango before she broke the silence.
“Can I come in? It’s kinda hot out here. ”
[And she wasn’t lying about that.]
We suddenly smiled at each other (each clipped with a note of sensuality), and with a nonverbal response, I helped her carry the drinks in and held open the door, catching a strange whiff of fried chicken and some floral fragrance as she walked by. I sucked my bottom lip as she sashayed towards my couch; those long legs accented by her gold trimmed pumps.
With a quick, smooth swivel of her body, she had positioned herself towards me, carrying a whole conversation with her eyes.
After locking my door I suddenly needed to adjust my boxer briefs. Gazing at those smooth brown legs made me graduate from flaccid to half chub, but my need to feast was urgent. My stomach was growling like a mf.
So I sit down to eat, right. And we get to chatting about her trip to NY ✈️ and how she’s been so stressed out with trying to open up a store out there. The whole time she’s going on and on about her tired body and her hectic work schedule, I’m reading in between the lines. She didn’t come here looking like that just to talk about work.
Aaliyah has never been one to admit what she wants from me, she just drops hints and expects you to go fishing for answers.
After smashing half my chicken box though, she got up like she had no time to waste. With a flick of her ankles she had both shoes flying across the floor. She took one last glance at me before leading the way to my bedroom, first slipping her skirt off in the living room and her shirt slowly draped from her body as she made her way down the hall. To keep up the tempo, I removed whatever she did, and by the time we made it to my room it was nothing but birthday suits.
I was ready for penetration at the door, but baby girl had other plans. She made me sit on the love seat by my window as she put on a show for me. It was an immediate game of teasing and temptation as she watched me slowly stroke my dick to every scene of her performance. First it was the leg play, then the breast tease, and then my favorite of all... something she knows gets me hard as steel.... the pussy play.
I love it when she bends open her thighs and plays with the most anticipated part of her body. Her smooth, brown sugar skin and nude polished nails drew an excellent contrast to that sweet, bright pink center. And she knew I wanted it too. She also knows how much I brag about how tight she is, so she takes her two fingers and spreads it open in full view for me. It was one thing for me to speculate, but when she slid one finger in and out for me, it was proof enough that her coochie still had that snap-back action.
I couldn’t take it anymore. With my dick now towering from my hand, I made my way over to her. She was now in submission as I asserted myself over her, so I pulled her to the the edge of the bed to get ready for my part. I looked down at myself, the tip of my dick head now glistening with anticipation, and said to her “I want you.”
And in the blink of an eye I was down on my knees and I had her hips cradled in my arms; my tongue digging into the flesh of her thigh, roughly gasping for air as I was too focused to remember breathing. With a slow dance of kissing and tongue-groping, I lead a trail up and down her thighs until I heard her say, “OMG.... Sean!”
I swear I felt a drop of pre-cum stream down to my ankle as I made my way to her hot zone 👅 . Like a rollercoaster, I had my tongue going round and round, remembering all the pressure points that made her thrust her pelvis into my face. I was in full control now, and no matter how hard she gripped the sheets, there was no escaping my vice grip.
My tongue was putting in overtime, and right before my clock struck 1:00 🕐 , I felt her first nut. We both laughed (our goofy asses) to try and cut down on all that sexual tension.
I reared my head to get a good look at her sex face, my goatee now dripping in her juices, and I gave her a look that let her know I was ready for that action. I sprinted like hell to my night stand to grab me a “rain coat,” acting as if my dinner was about to get cold or something.
I slid that mf on so quick. I’d been waiting for this all night. Pussy in my mouth was one thing, but BEING in it... whew 😌.
I looked at her again before I engaged in our post-foreplay session. I already had my 🍆💦 on the edge ready for the deep dive. We shared a gaze as I slowly began to make my way inside. She had that “keep going” look on her face, but it was only so long that she could keep her composure. After the head made its way in, baby girl’s eyes began to sync with my slow strokes. They rolled as my hips began to roll, and before she knew it, her neck gave out and she rested her head. I finessed my hips into a slow roll as I reached down and sucked on her neck. Her walls began to relax as her pussy gradually began to invite me in. I kept piping her down, constantly going deeper until her belly felt full. And by then, I knew I had her.
I secured her backside with my arms, careful not to smother her precious body, as she demanded I up the pace. To keep up the demand, I got more comfortable on the bed before I shifted into overdrive. “Nice Sean” was gone and “ZADDY Sean” was on the scene.
I was working that pussy like I was running track, and before long, she had thought twice about what she asked for. She thought she was slick, inching her body away like I didn’t notice. But guess what, I inched right along with her ass. She had a long ways to go on my California King before she could escape this dick.
At this point, her facial expressions were no longer inaudible. She was squeezing out “oooo’s” and “ahhhhh’s” between every attempt to catch her breath.
“Wait baby... ooooooooo wait.” She pleaded, but mercy was no longer on the table. I kept going until her juices soaked my inner thigh.
“OMG Sean!” She utters the mantra again. But this time I give in to her cries. Hell, I needed to catch my breath too. Shit! 🥵
I rolled over for a brief intermission, slowly creeping my way to the top of the bed near my pillow. She followed. We rested for a good little minute, kissing on each other as the clock kept ticking, but I was mentally preparing for the second round. It was late at night so I had only about two good positions left in me.
She took a bathroom break before we resumed.
I had decided it was her turn, so I stayed where I was and used my finger to signal her to come near when she walked back in the room. So, she took a domineering stance right before she climbed into bed and cat walked towards me. Titties just bouncing everywhere. Curls flowing effortlessly in the breeze of my ceiling fan. She knew what she was doing and she got my lil man right back up. ☝🏾
She leaned towards me for a kiss as she saddled my waist, slow grinding to drum up more anticipation. I slapped my meat against her ass cuz I wanted her to stop playing these games. Hell, my dick was damn near shivering in the wind now.
But she took the hint and began to guide it back in. This time I rolled MY eyes as her warm goodies began to cradle me inside. She placed her hands on my chest and made her first move upward, then she put her hips in reverse. She put this same two-step on repeat, bouncing up and down on my shit, going all the way to the base. I’m talking balls deep. With this kinda grip, my dick was on the verge of spittin’ already, but I held back my nut. “This ain’t how I wanna to go out”
I was diggin’ this lil rodeo vibe she had going on, but the more her pussy lips clapped down on me, the more I started edging. I let her take control for a minute, but that minute quickly turned into a second as her hip grinding began to slow down. The batteries in that energizer bunny were at 20%... but thats what Zaddy Sean is here for. 😏
Right as she was on her way up, I stopped her and I kept her right in that position, pounding that 🎂 until all I heard was Mac n cheese stirring.
But shit, at this point it was time to make that Mac n cheese creamy. I got prepared for the finale as we moved into sex position #95.
I had her face on the pillow and I made her spread them cheeks before I dove in back. And for some reason, this position always gets me. Idk if it’s the fluffiness of the ass that gets my rocks off or the fact that the thigh clenching makes everything feel tighter. Who knows. But I didn’t have time to contemplate that.
With a few more strokes I was about to fuckin explode. I grabbed her extra tight, squeezing them titties and pushing extra deep until her moans went from tenor to soprano.
“Only a few more seconds baby,” I said in my head.. “just a few more seconds.”
I put a flex in my hips when I felt that good moment coming, and on my last stroke of edging, when I hit her spot, she squeezed her cheeks extra tight... and that was the extra umph that I needed to let loose.
I wanted to paint her back 💦 but the hooded Kermit in me said “naw, leave that shit in big dawg.” 😏
So, I hit my last pumps like a New Years countdown. 5... 4... 3.... 2... making sure my last hit was the strongest. I held it there as my body spasmed and my perineum pulsated, leaving me temporarily paralytic.
Cuz that’s what good pussy will do to ya.
I took a second to savor the moment because my horny-ness hadn’t completely subsided yet. By the time I was ready to pull out, my jimmy was slowly becoming soft & squishy again.
With the head still sensitive, I slowly abort, careful to keep the condom in tact. She’s about as sleepy as I am now, and as I withdrew, she stole a peek of me staring at all the nut weighing down the tip of my condom.
It was mutually understood that we were both tapping out, but we mustered up enough energy to quickly shower up. The whole time in the shower I’m still mesmerized by her beauty, all horny-ness aside.
We towel off in about ten minutes and return to the room before I quickly throw some fresh sheets on my bed.
She basically invited herself to spend the night and who was I to say “no” to her. Cute ass. She knew she was my Achilles heel. So, as we lay in our resting position before dozing off, the question circled back around in my head...
How the hell did she know I was alone? 🤔
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benzito404 · 6 years
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DJ Forgotten - Ominous ft. JAY Z, Pusha T
[Verse 1: Pusha T] Valentino summers and wave runners Chains on my niggas like slave runners Drug dealers anonymous How many Madonnas can that Mazda fit? My brick talk is more than obvious, it’s ominous Garages, the phantom, ghouls, ghosts and goblins Blonde mohawk the collection I’m Dennis Rodman The money count is the only moment of silence Cause hush money balances all this drugs and violence Hat trick under my mattress Date I stop still has an asterisk after it After all I can make a call I can baptize a brick As I wash away my sins like a catholic Who the fuck ain't mastered this America’s nightmare's in Flint Children of a lesser God when your melanin’s got a tint And I can’t even mention what I sent or what I spent Cause my name in 18 wheelers is evidence I put my boos in those cruise collections Life’s a bitch A to Z on her shoe collection, take your pick Paid in full like ’86, Gs on my body The new Gucci has less monograms, God’s got him Let he without sin cast the first stone So I built that all glass quad level first home Shatter all of your misconceptions Hold all of them missing weapons You thought I would miss my blessing The ultimate misdirection ya [Skit: Tomi Lahren] Your husband was drug dealer For 14 years he sold crack cocaine [Verse 2: Jay Z] Federico Fellini in the flesh Sergio Tacchini inside his mesh Bitch I been brackin’ since the ‘80s Google me baby, you crazy ’89 in London pull the Benz up Type it in, Google’s your friend bruh 14-year drug dealer and still counting Who deserves the medal of freedom is my accountant He been hula hooping through loop holes, working around shit IRS should’ve had the townhouses surrounded Thanks to the lawyers I marbled the foyer I tore the floor up Yeah, that’s for the Koi fish We been dining on oysters I walk though the garage it’s like multiple choices I told ‘em pull the Royce up I’m getting ghost, I’m hearing noises I think it’s the boys, but I been banking at Deutsche We got storefronts, we got employee stubs We been opening studios and 40/40s up The paper trail is gorgeous Cases we buries ‘em Before Reasonable Doubt dropped, the jury hung Bling bling Every time I come around your city bling bling My tenure took me through Virginia Ask Teddy Riley ‘bout me Ask the Federalis ‘bout me Tried to build a cell around me Snatched my nigga Emory up Tried to get him to tell about me He told 12, “Gimme 12” He told them to go to hell about me Drug dealers anonymous Y’all think Uber’s the future, our cars been autonomous Mules move the drums, take ‘em to different spots We just call the shots by simply moving our thumbs I’m a course of miracles with this shit Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists Therein lies the piece of God I always knew I was a prophet, but I couldn’t find a decent job Life made me ambidextrous Countin’ with my right, whippin’ white with my left wrist Daaaaaaaamn Daniel FBI keep bringing them all white vans through
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