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#bnha funny
z-mizcellaneous-z · 1 year
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midoriya: i am a nice person i think. bakugo: what the fuck? of course you are- midoriya: BUT. bakugo: midoriya: midoriya: i think that i'll start throwing rocks at people that are mean to me. bakugo: bakugo: marry me.
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nerdranttheories · 3 months
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Honestly, the official art for fantasy au All Might is so disappointing. You’re telling me they have spandex in the fantasy world?
Also, not pictured: “All Might yes!”
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Your palm meets your face as you close the bedroom door to your son’s room, groaning lowly as you walk to the kitchen and sit at the bar head readying against the cool counter.
“Oi, I’m home.”
So tired and exhausted from today, your head remains where it is as he drops his bag and takes off his boots with ease by the back door. His expression instantly becomes weary when you don’t greet him with the usual smile or a hug, spotting you in the kitchen with your head on the bar. With muted steps he comes up behind you and rests a hand upon the center of your back. He doesn’t ask, he knows you’ll tell him in due time, and until you’re ready he is showing rare patience.
“Do you have any idea what your son said at school today?” You finally mumble in an exhausted whisper.
Both of his brows rise as he nibbles his lip. You’ve been trying to get him to watch his language around the little boy a lot lately but he could only hold back so much. “What?”
Raising your head, your narrowed gaze meets his red. “One kid was saying how their dad had a gun to protect their house and family, another said their father had learned martial arts… See where I’m going with this?”
“I’m a Pro Hero, we don’t need any of that crap—” Realization fills his face as a wide grin lifts his lips. “Holy shit, did he say what I think he did?!”
The tip of your finger jabs his chest as you get up in his face. “Yes, Katsuki Bakugo, your son shouted at the top of his lungs that his dad IS THE DAMN GUN! He ran around the playground at recess chanting it! I had to sit in the principal’s office for forty minutes then had to attend a school board meeting for three hours explaining your Pro Hero status, how our home is perfectly safe for our son—don’t you dare fucking laugh, Katsuki, or I swear—!”
The rest of your rant is cutoff by him covering your mouth with the palm of his hand, a smirk playing on his lips as he presses you against the counter. “Now, what was that new rule you made up? Anytime a curse word passes over someone’s lips in this house there’s a punishment?” He leans forward and whispers lowly, his warm breath tickling the shell of your ear.
“Let go of Mama, old man!”
A laugh slips up your throat when the Pro Hero husband of yours suddenly drops to a knee thanks to the small figure who had magically appeared in the kitchen who delivered a well-practiced heel kick to the back of Katsuki’s knee to make him lose balance. Your arms cross as you watch with a smirk as man gives chase to the small boy who now runs with the air filling with small explosions that wouldn’t hurt a fly but would only add to their little game.
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somesimpformen · 5 days
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God when he is finished with a genderless batch of people
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*at the lov base*
kurogiri: okay i know you dont want to do this but i signed everyone up for group therapy
shagaraki: wtf why? nobody here needs therapy
toga: bestie are you hearing yourself right now? you wear the hands of your dead family on your face and arms and you have some sort of repressed childhood shit up there that we need to talk about. twice has an identity disorder and his personality literally splits when he isn't wearing a mask. dabi is endeavor's fucking son, has a history of being abused and everyone thinks he's dead. spinner is obviously depressed, mr. compress still wont show anyone his face, and i was abandoned my family and wanted for murder.
shagaraki:
kurogiri:
everyone:
kurogiri: damn. anyways the appointment is on the 24th
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nanawritesit · 1 year
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Class 1A as Baristas at a Coffee Shop
TW: this is aged up bc there’s references to alcohol and 🍃, so if you’re a child of god then read no further 💀 also mineta isn’t included because i hate him, and you should too 😊
A/N: i’m a barista so i’m qualified to make these claims. also i know i haven’t written any of my actual requests. i’m depressed and my life is chaotic. besides this is just for fun and didn’t really take much effort so leave me alone 😤
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midoriya:
literally the best barista boy on the planet
his customer service skills are GOD-TIER
even when a customer is being rude to him, he’s just such a lil cinnamon roll back to them and kills them with his kindness
has amazing relationships with all the regulars, completely memorizes all their names and orders
legit has full conversations with them
“hey carl, how’s the wife doin’?”
“welcome back emily, did you get into that university you told me about?”
“good afternoon joyce, how’d your husband’s gallbladder surgery go?”
comes up with really creative drinks to use for the monthly specials
is secretly all of the managers favorites because he just works so hard (even bakugou’s)
whips through all the cleaning so fast at the end of the day
todoroki: “okay so we need to wash the utensils, mop the floors, and clean the espresso machine…”
midoriya: “oh, i already did all that todoroki!” 😊
loves coffee but is very sensitive to the caffeine so the managers have to make sure he doesn’t have more than two shots a day 💀
bakugou:
one of the managers
honestly the least likely person you’d expect to be a barista
can only work morning shift bc he goes to sleep at 8:30 (nerd)
his customer service SUCKS but he’s literally so good at his job they can’t really fire him
he just hardly ever runs the cash register and assigns it to one of the more sunshine-y baristas (usually deku or uraraka)
not usually trusted with training new recruits bc he’s such a bully
if a customer is being rude to one of the baristas he won’t hesitate to clap back, because HE’S the only one allowed to bully his employees 😤
uraraka will just step away from the cash register and go “bakugou i need your help with something” and he whips around with the most deadly grimace
bakugou: “is there a problem, sir?”
customer: “n-no problem here, the coffee tastes great” 😄
god forbid one of them gets snappy on one of the rare occasions he works the register
customer: “i demand to see your manager!”
bakugou: “you’re lookin’ at him, dumbass”
damn near explodes when some white girl comes through wanting a mocha caramel latte-cino made with skim milk and no whipped cream in a medium cup with the same amount of coffee as a small so she can stir in her own nutmeg
doesn’t give a single fuck about regulations if he thinks they’re unnecessary
iida: “bakugou, the health department says these bagels have to be thrown away after six days!”
locks the doors ten minutes before closing time and won’t let anyone else in
bakugou: “i don’t give a damn what the health department says, i’m not throwing away six perfectly good bagels!”
punched the espresso machine one time when it wasn’t working and it fucking exploded 💀
iida made him walk across town to buy a new one
todoroki:
another one of the managers
is tasked with training the majority of the new recruits since bakugou cant
the most level-headed chill person to have around during a rush, he never loses his head
can instantly correct someone’s order if they mistakenly got a hot or iced coffee
customer: “excuse me, i ordered this coffee iced.”
todoroki: “oh i’m so sorry, lemme just-“ *touches the cup with his right hand and it fills with ice* “there ya go”
OR
customer: “i don’t mean to be a bother, but i wanted a hot coffee and this is iced.”
todoroki: “yeah gimmie a sec-“ *heats up the cup with his left hand and melts the ice* “should be good now”
likes macchiatos because the separated milk and coffee reminds him of his hair 🥺
pisses off the rude customers with his indifference
customer: “i’ll just take my business elsewhere!”
todoroki: “okay well, it’s your money so you can do what you want with it”
gets flirted with all the time but is too oblivious to notice
kaminari: “dude that girl TOTALLY just gave you her number”
todoroki: “nah she probably just wrote it down in case we needed a survey” *throws it away*
kaminari wants to go off on him but he racks in a lot of money in tips for all of them to split so he keeps quiet
iida:
general manager from hell
runs the shop like it’s the fucking army
really nice if you follow all the regulations tho 😀
he’s the best person to have around during a rush because he just kicks his engines into maximum overdrive and speeds through all the orders
also does deliveries on the side because he’s a fast boi
tried to implement a demerit system, but bakugou took one look at the poster and tore it off the wall 💀
everyone prays to god that they get scheduled with momo instead of him
constantly taps the other workers on the shoulder to hand them a wash cloth and a spray bottle and goes “if you’ve got time to lean, you’ve got time to clean”
everyone acts like they hate him, but when he gave a really touching speech at the christmas party everyone started crying
also organized the secret santa
ends up apologizing to customers for bakugou’s terrible customer service and hands them like a thousand coupons
uraraka:
customer service skills only come second to midoriya’s
she’s a DELIGHT to talk to
even at 7 am when you’re sleep deprived and caffeine deficient, the sight of her smiling face behind the counter will cheer you up :)
during a rush she forgets not to grab the receipts with all five fingers, so they’ll just start floating everywhere
bakugou: “hey round face, all my orders are on the ceiling!”
uraraka: “oh shoot, sorry!” *puts hands together* “release!”
draws cute little pictures on all the chalkboards 🥰
somehow knows exactly what a customer would like when they ask her to recommended something? people start wondering if that’s her real superpower
ironically doesn’t like the taste of coffee… her favorite drink is a hot chocolate with whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles
tsuyu:
only got the job to be closer to her best friend uraraka but ends up really enjoying it
gets nervous talking to customers so she mostly just sticks to making the drinks
has to be reminded not to grab things with her tongue because it’s against the health code 💀
when a customer is rude to her the ENTIRE team gets pissed at them, because she’s an angel and must be protected 😤
hates when people watch her make their drinks (she gets anxious 🥺)
pretty much the baby of the shop, whenever she accidentally burns herself steaming milk everyone rushes over like “OH MY GOD TSU ARE YOU OKAY?!?!”
kirishima:
one of the only two baristas trained by bakugou, so he ends up being really good at making coffee
is able to memorize large orders really quickly
“alright i’ve got a skinny macchiato no whip, iced dirty chai with oat milk and an added shot, two americanos extra hot, and a vanilla frappe?”
is the designated carrier of the cold brew kegs
AND the delivery boxes
AND the milk jugs
pretty much anything that’s heavy, he happily carries it
eventually becomes a team trainer, which suits him perfectly because he’s always boosting the team’s morale
bakugou giving the morning debrief: “alright guys, today’s gonna be super busy, and it’s gonna suck.”
kirishima: “SO LETS GET OUT THERE AND DO OUR BEST! I KNOW WE CAN DO IT!” 😆
kaminari:
the OTHER only employee that was trained by bakugou
tries so hard to flirt with customers but fails miserably
is really good at making coffee but he makes a decent amount of mistakes, like using the wrong milk or making drinks hot instead of iced (good thing we have todoroki!)
also wanted to become a team trainer but couldn’t pass the servsafe exam 😀
hooked himself up the espresso machine after bakugou broke it so they could use it until he came back with a new one 💀
does stupid shit with kirishima whenever the shop is dead
bakugou walked in on them making a castle out of cups and knocked it over, then screamed at them to get back to work
conveniently goes to the bathroom every time a huge group of people walks in
sneaks his phone in the bathroom with him
is also a chronic stoner and can’t get through a shift without hitting his pen
he accidentally left it in his apron one night and the next day iida gave everyone a talk about paraphernalia in the workplace
and everyone just had to act like they didn’t know it was kaminari’s 🤡
sero:
only has this job to pay for weed
is basically a glorified janitor because he’s not good at making coffee at ALL
he tries tho 😗
has the worst memory ever
customer: “can i get a small hot vanilla cappuccino?”
sero: “yeah so a large iced mocha frappe?”
customer: “no… a small hot vanilla cappuccino…”
sero: “yeah, that’s totally what i said.” 😀
also can’t remember how to make drinks to save his life
sero: “i’m sorry but what the hell is the difference between an iced coffee and an iced latte?”
bakugou: “OH MY GOD IVE TOLD YOU LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES”
goes to take out the trash with kaminari and they don’t come back for like twenty minutes
and when they do they’re coughing up a storm and reeking of weed 💀 like they don’t even try to hide it
would have gotten fired months ago if they weren’t so short staffed
mina:
is also a team trainer because she’s good with people
tries to get everyone to hang out outside of work, and she usually succeeds
made everyone go to karaoke and get drunk together
iida was QUITE the life of the party after a few drinks, and she evilly videotaped it all
makes memes about the managers and sends them to the barista group chat
spontaneously starts dancing while working, even when there’s customers
drinks like eight shots of espresso a day
is also the shop’s social media manager
constantly takes pictures of everyone and posts them on the shop’s instagram
jirou:
manages the shop playlist
kaminari tried to get her to put a bunch of inappropriate rap songs on it but she didn’t want iida to get mad
sings to herself throughout the entire shift, everyone thinks it’s really cute
except bakugou, he isn’t afraid to tell her to shut up
only drinks black coffee, she doesn’t like milk or sugar
always spices up her uniform with cool accessories and jewelry
she’s not going to sacrifice her individuality for a corporate position 😌 (even if iida constantly lectures her… momo didn’t want to hear it anymore so she started scheduling jirou with her)
momo:
assistant general manager
everyone loves her, she’s an amazing boss
always releases the schedule two weeks ahead of time
is everyone’s barista crush
literally, a new man asks her out every day
is in charge of keeping inventory and ordering ingredients, she’s good at math so everything is always well stocked
is super nice to all the new employees she trains
is a tea enthusiast
sources a bunch of fancy tea and recommends it to the customers
she’s actually garnered a few coffee converts, no one is really able to say no to her pretty face 🥰
never gets made at anyone for requesting time off, in fact she’ll excitedly ask them ab their plans
also never guilts anyone for being sick and not coming into work
pretty much everyone’s mom, if anyone comes in looking upset she’s immediately like “okay what’s wrong, tell me right now”
hagakure:
sneaks up on people all the time
like someone will go up the counter to get their coffee and just see a floating apron
customer: “um, i ordered a latte and-“
hagakure: “yeah, it’s right here!” 😄
customer: “OH MY GOD-“
LOVES to gossip with mina
always has way too much energy early in the morning
*todoroki barely being able to keep his eyes open as he unlocks the door*
hagakure: “AYO SHOTO ARE YOU READY TO OPEN THIS COFFEE SHOP?!?!”
aoyama:
refuses to wear a hair net
DEVOURS croissants
wants to put cheese on the menu, and doesn’t care at all that it’s a coffee shop
buys fresh flowers to put on all the tables 🥰
one day the open sign burnt out so bakugou made him shine his navel laser though it 💀
goes on his phone during his shift ALL the time, and never listens to iida when he yells at him to put it away
tokoyami:
everyone likes being scheduled with him because he’s basically two baristas
“hey dark shadow, can you make this order for me while i stock the bakery case?”
wants to be emo like jirou and only drink black coffee, but can’t stand the taste
“yeah jirou, we’re the only strong ones in the shop!” *dumps three creams and five sugars in his coffee when no one’s looking*
made everyone wear costumes for halloween and handed out candy to customers
purposefully messes up rude customers’ orders 💀
like if they ask for almond milk he’ll put in whole milk so they shit themselves
or if they want it skinny he’ll use the regular syrups so they get sugar overload
doesn’t know how to answer the phone
customer: “is this my hero coffee academia?”
tokoyami: “no, this is fumikage.” *hangs up*
almost has a meltdown everytime he spills something, has to lock himself in the freezer to calm down before walking back out like nothing happened
only works night shift for obvious reasons
shouji:
multitasking king
all his arms allow him to do different things at once
him and iida are the speed demons of the shop, so when the two of them work together everything gets done in like two seconds
iida will be running around making all the orders while shouji is cleaning everything all at once
is pretty much everyone’s therapist, he’s just so easy to vent to
gives the best advice
is so huge and intimidating that there’s hardly ever any rude customers during his shift
koda:
gets so upset every time a bug is killed in the kitchen
koda: “NO PLEASE HE HAS A FAMILY”
momo: “koda i understand this is hard for you, but we cannot have a spider roaming freely around the food”
squeals whenever a customer leaves their dog outside
he’ll be standing at the window with his hands pressed up against the glass and tears in his eyes
todoroki: *sigh* “you can go pet the dog if you want-“
koda: “THANK YOU” *sprints out the door*
starts buying dog treats to give to the owners, he even offers to put them in a little cup of whipped cream 🥺
gets sato to make some vegan baked goods :)
ojiro:
cant spell customers’ names right to save his life
ojiro: “alright, can i get a name for this?”
customer: “yeah, it’s brian with a y!”
ojiro: “got it!” *writes yrian*
or he just writes the wrong name altogether
sharon is now shannnon
tyler is now tyson
jack is now jake
let’s kaminari fluff his tail when he gets overstimulated during a rush 🥺
is constantly apologizing to everyone for accidentally bumping into them with it
sato:
the faithful head baker
comes in at 4 am everyday to prep the baked goods
always asks everyone if they have any special requests <3
customers are constantly complimenting the stuff he makes and asking who made them
the baristas just smile and they’ll them that their baker sato made them, and if he’s still there, they’ll drag him out to accept the compliments 🥰
isn’t very good at asking for help, but hagakure and aoyama are always around to frost donuts or decorate cupcakes when he’s running behind :)
(BONUS) aizawa:
the area coach that stops by every so often to make sure everything is running up to standard
everyone is really scared of him but he honestly doesn’t give a single fuck so long as they’re not serving trash
only comes by during the night shift because he refuses to wake up early
and of course that’s when they least expect him
iida and momo are just nervously leading him around the shop while kirishima and kaminari are sprinting to the kitchen to throw away all the expired food 💀
tells them they’ll get shut down if they don’t get enough customer surveys, which makes everyone panic and hand them out with every order
they still didn’t have enough so sero and mina were in the back filling them out the day they were due 🤡
turns out they were never going to get shut down, he just lied to them so they’d push surveys 🙃
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shigaraki-obsession · 11 months
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HELP
I’M SORRY I HAD TO MAKE THIS EDIT I
FORGOT TO POST IT GBSHVDHSGSG
UNDERNEATH IS A TEMPLATE VERSION OF THE PANEL 😭😭
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vultureboi · 1 year
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Deku: Kacchan, be my friend
Bakugou: over my dead body!!
Later:
Bakugou: dead
Deku: I guess we’re friends now •v•
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sat0sugu-angst · 2 years
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Katsuki hates your fandom merch.
Not because he thinks it's weird, or doesn't like the shows you do, but he knows you only bought that figurine because you have a crush on said character.
He especially hates that "fuckin ugly" blanket you always sleep with because it has your fictional man's face all over it.
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z-mizcellaneous-z · 1 year
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kacchancore
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nerdranttheories · 3 months
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I think this is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever made
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🍼
Katsuki’s infant daughter, Mirai, is so adorable with her blonde hair sticking up but also having a bit of waves. She has so many of your features but there are obvious hints of her personality that are indisputably his. He is so damn proud but such a sucker!
Ask how the family is doing? BAM! Shoves a picture of his girls into their face!
Even if you don’t, they will be minding their own business and suddenly…BAM, his wallet photo of you and her are in their face.
“LOOK AT THEM! THEY’RE MINE, YOU DAMN DUMBASS! BUT I’M GONNA LET YOU GET A PEEK AT THEIR CUTENESS!”
He will be out in patrol, having the worst of days, but then the look on his face when he gets your text of a picture of her and you matching outfits…
Kirishima and Deku both raise their brows when the blond hero suddenly turns away and starts to tremble. When they ask what’s up, he simply glares daggers at them as if their question had pissed him off but in reality he’s trying his hardest not to shove the phone into their faces. “SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU TWO! IT’S NONE OF YOUR DAMN—” Katsuki pauses mid-rant when receiving another text from you and chokes when seeing you two posing with mirror tongues sticking out at the camera. “—DAMNIT!”
Todoroki, during some paperwork at the agency, glances up when hearing a sudden explosion from the office nearby. He didn’t have to guess or go investigate because it’s followed by a loud “HOW ARE THEY SO DAMN CUTE?!”
Denki is one of the few who are lucky enough to witness a small lunch date when you stop by with the little firecracker and manages to record when Katsuki kisses Mirai’s little cheeks, earning smirks from the baby, then groans from the Pro Hero when he’s too slow to see them for himself. “WHY THE HELL DOES SHE KEEP HIDING HER SMILES FROM ME?!” The way she teases her daddy by hiding those smiles and smirks from him is pure gold! And she knew exactly what it was doing to Katsuki because she was never without a smirk whenever her daddy was fuming with a pout or his back was turned.
Even when she gets a little older, she still has that teasing tendency with him. He will be out on patrol, seeing her preschool and decides to take a quick pit stop to peek in the play yard where she is, and when she catches him Mirai’s smile vanishes despite her friends being all excited to see the Pro Hero. “WHAT THE HELL?! WHY WON’T YOU FREAKING SMILE FOR ME?!” He fumes, his red eyes meeting her gaze as he towers over her. “SMILE. FOR. ME!”
She finally cracks a big grin up at him when you three are snuggling on the couch one day after years of her keeping up this little game of hers, her little hands playfully grabbing his cheeks and giving them a wiggle. And it’s so precious he can’t even believe he’s seeing it his eyes are so wide. “Love you, Daddy Dumbass!”
You’re so busy laughing that you are crying as he can’t even respond to his daughter’s words.
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Who’s not dead from the cuteness?!
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miyukisluv · 2 years
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the challenge challenge ? with dabi 🤠
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ninjaart-fan · 2 years
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RUN DEKU RUN!!!
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limon-leme-soda · 1 year
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midoriya: despite the fact that i randomly mutter out all of my plans, people somehow still manage to know nothing about what i do
ochako: despite the fact that i randomly begin squealing about kirishima and bakugo, people somehow still manage to not notice that they’re basically dating
iida: despite the fact that i continuously tell everyone to follow the rules, people somehow still manage to break every single one in the span of ten minutes
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shigaraki-obsession · 2 years
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I just HADDD to make this edit HAHAHAHHSHSHS
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