midoriya: i am a nice person i think.
bakugo: what the fuck? of course you are-
midoriya: BUT.
bakugo:
midoriya:
midoriya: i think that i'll start throwing rocks at people that are mean to me.
bakugo:
bakugo: marry me.
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Hizashi: Shouta, what's your type?
Shouta: tall, strong, dumb, gay, and looks like a golden retriever
Hizashi: wow, thats really specific. Do I know him?
Shouta: did I mention dumb?
Hizashi: yeah, why?
Shouta: just checking
*later*
Hizashi, waking up in the middle of the night: OH MY GOD HE LIKES ALL MIGHT
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Deku: Who wants to make 1000 yen?
Katsuki: How?
Deku: I need someone to take the fall.
Todoroki: What did you do?
Aizawa, from the other room: What the hell!
Katsuki and Todoroki:
Aizawa: WHAT THE HELL?!?
Deku: Make it 5000?
Katsuki: Deal
Deku: *Gives him the money*
Aizawa, storming in: WHO DID THIS?!
Katsuki: It was Todoroki.
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Dabi: If you’re not here for revenge, then what’s your deal?
Compress: Laws are threats made by the dominant socioeconomic-ethnic group in a given nation. It’s just the promise of violence that’s enacted and the police are basically an occupying army. You know what I mean?
Dabi: Haha yeah
Dabi, under his breath: Fuck me, am I not legit enough for this extremist group? I should have paid more attention in political science class.
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*Aged up Pro Hero Characters*
Monoma: Kamanari, is that choker actually part of your hero costume!? *Scoffs* Chokers are so 2016!
Kamanari: Actually, it's a sex thing. I use the choker for sex.
Monoma: What
Kamanari: What
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Shinsou: I hate all those things that were like, “they used to be so strong and funny…. ThEn [insert trauma here], now they are a shell of what they once were”
Shinsou: I can be traumatized and still be strong and funny. I’m the funniest fucker I know
Tsuyu: yesterday you said that you wanted to enter a coma so you didn’t have to deal with an authority figure being mad at you again
Shinsou: both can be true, am I not allowed to have duality, tsuyu??
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mha as things ive overheard in high-school 9
all might: alright kiddos we doing dodge ball today so if you got glasses on then you best take em off
iida, throwing his glasses off: fuck it we ball
midoriya: dont hit all might now
iida: if i mistake him for a student cus i cant see then thats his fault
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kirishima: you are the reason we shouldnt be allowed to have art classes
kaminari, drawing a scarily realistic dick: literally what are you talking about
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*during theater club*
shouji: so i just fall
tokoyami: yeah but be dramatic with it
shouji: aight
shouji: *death drops*
kouda: :o
yaoyorozu: OH THATS NOT-
tokoyami: no no let him cook
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masterlist <3
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Hawks: Please? For me?
[Name]: Don’t do that.
Hawks: Do what, [Name]?
[Name]: You think if you say, “please, for me?” and give me that look, I’ll do whatever the fuck you wa-
Hawks: Please, for me?
[Name]: ...Whatever you manipulative chicken, fuck off.
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All Might: I’m proud of you, my boy.
Izuku: *has tears and his eyes and hugs All Might, smiling*
All Might: *Hugging Izuku back*
Izuku: *accidentally lifts All Might out of pure happiness*
All Might: what the fuck-
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Mitsuki: My son only eats homemade food
Inko: That’s nice. My son eats the rocks at playgrounds.
Mitsuki:
Inko:
Mitsuki, Screaming into the backyard): Izuku is Katsuki force feeding you playground rocks?!
Izuku, staring at Katsuki: Katsukis telling me to tell you that hes not.
Mitsuki: Jesus Christ
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bakugo: you're such a fucking loser deku.
midoriya: well you married me, so who's the REAL loser here?
bakugo: you are not allowed to use this marriage against me.
midoriya: i am 100% allowed to use this marriage against you.
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Shouta: *exists*
Hizashi: this means nothing. I'm 16. These feelings will fade.
*fifteen years later*
Hizashi, sweating: any day now...
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Y/N: How do you feel about me, Izuku
Izuku, vibrating at a frequency high enough to shatter glass: I love you to a normal amount.
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Shoto: Midoriya is always breaking his bones even in training at UA. It’s crazy.
Hawks: Aw yeah, our instructors used to break our bones on purpose all the time in training. So we could learn how to fight with broken bones.
Endeavor: That’s not normal.
Hawks: It’s not?
Endeavor: No, this is one of those things…
Hawks: Things i should bring up in therapy?
Endeavor: Yeah.
Hawks: Ok…I’ll put it on the list.
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