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megalony · 10 months
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Where Were You
This is another Thomas Shelby (Peaky Blinders) imagine, requested by the lovely @neonkiwi​ I hope this is what you were looking for. Any comments and requests would be lovely.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @avyannadawn  @noonenuts @sleepylunarwolf @coverupps @anonyymoouussssss​
Masterlist
Summary: Tommy takes care of his pregnant wife when she isn’t well, but he isn’t there when something happens.
Enjoy.
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"Thank you," Forcing a smile on her lips, (Y/n) nodded at the man who placed down another stack of papers beside her on the table before he wandered off towards the black board on the wall to change the tally.
Yet more ledgers and bets for (Y/n) to write down in the leather book sprawled out in front of her. The book which only (Y/n) was allowed to write in for the time being because Tommy thought she 'had the best hand-writing' and the book needed to be eligable and easy to read and follow. He had been against (Y/n) helping out in the betting shop work until she showed she was more than efficient writing neat but fast, taking notes and adding and making up the bets, winnings and losses.
There wasn't much Tommy could deny (Y/n) and when Polly and Ada were involved in the business, he could hardly begrudge giving his wife a job role too and letting her help.
But this was where he drew the line and (Y/n) knew it. He didn't want (Y/n) getting involved with the Blinders. She went to all the family meetings, he told her what deals he was planning to make and who they were dealing with, (Y/n) could know everything and anything, he just didn't want her involved. Much like Polly, she knew what they were doing but she left the men to it.
With a sigh, (Y/n) rubbed her hand across her temple and tried to ignore the building headache forming behind her eyes as she looked down at the numbers that were almost bluring before her eyes.
A gasp escaped her lips and her hands furiously grappled with the stack of papers beside her when John slammed a book down on the table, knocking a stale coffee cup flying and spilling the contents across the pages.
"John! Honestly, can't you be careful?" (Y/n) chided as she swatted the coffee from the pages and tried wafting them in the air so they didn't smudge. She couldn't afford to go and ask someone to re-write all of those pages over again for her to copy down into the book. It would set them back hours which they didn't have and bets could be lost.
"Sorry," His shoulders slumped and his lips curled down around the cigarette between them in a way of apology.
Gathering the book and the papers in her arms, (Y/n) stood up from her seat and walked round the table.
The booming voices shouting out bets, calling out names and stakes and the ultimate rush of adrenaline was too much for (Y/n). She couldn't hear her own thoughts in the back room and it was fuelling her headache to the point she was ready to leave which she didn't want to do.
She held the papers close to her chest, curving them awkwardly over her protruding stomach while she weaved around the workers and headed over to Tommy's office. The office was still adjoined to the betting room but it had a wall, window and door to block out the noise and it was significantly quieter in there. It just meant that (Y/n) wouldn't get as much work transcribed when she was in the same room as her husband.
He served as a great distraction.
"Alright, love?" Tommy's low voice curled around a cigarette chomped tightly between his teeth and a puff of smoke swirled around his hair, distorting his features for a second or two.
"Yeah, can I work in here for a bit?"
"Course," Tommy was already up and out of his desk chair which he motioned towards with a quirked lip and a raised brow. It wouldn't be fair to make (Y/n) sit on the sofa with papers scattered on the floor and the book on her lap when she could take his seat at the desk for a while.
A wave of ease rushed through (Y/n) the moment she sat down and felt Tommy's hands rubbing up and down her bare arms. He had the cigarette clasped between his fingers and the smoke drifted through her nose and sent chills down her spine. (Y/n) didn't smoke often but if she couldn't smell the tobacco she started to panic. It was a scent she associated with Tommy, even when they were in bed or in the bath, he still had that lingering smell of smoke about him.
(Y/n) spread her papers about the desk and got started writing them into the book in her neatest penmanship while Tommy sat down on the desk on her left. He was close enough that her arm brushed his thigh every time she turned a page or moved some paper around, but it was comforting.
Every now and then, (Y/n) rested her hand on his upper thigh as he read through some paperwork and after a while, she leaned her cheek on his leg when she took a short break. Her head was as cloudy as the room was with Tommy's smoke and it was making it hard to focus on what she was trying to write.
Her uneasy headache, coupled with the tension in her stomach from the baby made (Y/n) wish time would go faster so they could go home.
Wordlessly, (Y/n) reached out for Tommy's hand that was planted on the desk near her papers, and pressed his palm against her stomach when their baby started to wriggle. She could see him smiling out the corner of her eye but he didn't say anything. He just kept his hand pressed where it was, smoothing his thumb over her stomach in a calming motion that made her feel a little better.
"Bathroom break," (Y/n) mumbled quietly, throwing her pen down on the table as she took a moment to straighten up in her chair and click her spine back into place.
Tommy leaned over to kiss her temple and his hand moved to the small of her back as she walked past him before she headed out the room.
There was a small toilet at the back of the betting room and it was the most convinient when (Y/n) didn't have the time or patience to wander through the house and up the stairs to the bathroom. The toilet was poxy, the room was barely five foot wide and (Y/n) had to wiggle round the door to get into the room and be able to shut it properly behind her.
Even in the small toilet the noises in the betting room overpowered her ears. The loudness, close proximity and stressful atmosphere never used to play on (Y/n)'s nerves until she was pregnant.
A shockwave rattled through (Y/n) and all the air got caught in her lungs when she looked down.
Blood.
Why was she bleeding? There shouldn't be any blood in her underwear like this. A few drops in the beginning of her pregnancy, sure that was normal and nothing to worry about but (Y/n) didn't even get that. From the moment she found out she was pregnant, the thought and sight of blood had gone from her mind.
As if on cue, a small cramp twinged in the side of her stomach when the baby wriggled.
A tightness pulled around her lungs and squeezed her chest until she was barely breathing anymore, gasping for small streaks of air through dry lips. But (Y/n) managed a deep breath when the door suddenly screeched as it swung open and her wide, doe eyes locked with John.
"Shit! I- sorry, sorry I should have knocked!" John's hand tightened around the door handle and he snapped his eyes closed as he went to shut the door again. All of them seemed to forget that the lock on the door was broken and no one bothered to knock and check if it was in use or not.
"Can you get Tommy for me?"
"Wh- why?" The unease in John's voice was clear and he kept the door open just a crack so he could hear (Y/n) but couldn't see anything. He didn't want to go get his big brother because he would not be happy with John for this mistake.
"Please?" The pleading in her voice was evident because John shut the door and scampered off immediately.
"Learn some manners and fucking knock next time!" Tommy slapped his hand against the back of John's head, knocking his cap off into his hands before he bypassed his little brother and walked out the office.
He stormed passed the tables, nudging men out the way until he reached the back where the toilet was. A slither of worry rattled through his frame at the thought of why (Y/n) needed him. John didn't know, all he said was (Y/n) didn't seem well and wanted him to go to her but that could mean any number of things. She could have been sick, she could have slipped in that tiny fucking room, she could feel unwell, anything and everything rattled through his mind.
"Love, it's me. What's up?" Tommy carefully pushed the door open, being mindful not to bash it into (Y/n)'s legs before he knelt down on the floor in front of her.
His eyes cast down when (Y/n) pointed at her underwear hanging around her legs and he gulped at the sight of the blood. That wasn't a good sign. When he looked back up, he saw tears streaking down her face that had lost all its colour and she was biting her thumb out of anxious habit.
"Okay... let's get you in the house and Pol will go get the midwife. Hey, no tears," Reaching out, Tommy brushed his thumb against (Y/n)'s cheek and swiped away a stray tear. "You'll be fine."
(Y/n) let Tommy help her up and she bound her arms around his waist, burying her face in his shirt, inhaling his cologne that always calmed her nerves. She didn't dare look at anyone as Tommy guided her back through the room towards the main part of the house. She kept her eyes screwed shut and her face hidden as Tommy's arms tightened around her waist and shoulders, guiding her through and shielding her from any prying eyes.
He could be right, she might be fine, after all she wasn't exactly in any pain. Her head felt fuzzy but that was normal and the baby was moving around like a trooper, showing that they were okay. Maybe she had just been working a little too hard recently.
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Rubbing his damp hair with a towel, Tommy sauntered out the bathroom and walked back towards the bedroom, surprised to find the bedside lamp turned on, illuminating the room in a deep golden glow. He couldn't stop the sigh from passing through his lips when he looked around the room and his eyes landed on his wife stood to the side near the wardrobe.
"What do you think you're doing?"
(Y/n) turned on her heels, coiling her arms to her chest as a small, sugary sweet smile broke out on her face when she looked over at her husband. His hair was stuck up at all angles after he'd just had a wash and he was wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. Showing off the white and baby pink scars, the black tattoos and the tense, taut muscles. But what her eyes focused on most was the quirk of his lip showing he was trying to fight off a smile.
He only smiled around (Y/n).
"Nothing,"
"Then get back in bed." Tommy clicked his finger and pointed over towards the bed as he threw the towel on the chair in the corner and folded his arms over his chest.
"Can't I come with you, please?"
A grin broke out on Tommy's face and for a few seconds, she thought he might agree. He stalked towards her like a predator slowly advancing on its prey until his hands were gripping her hips tightly and his eyes danced up and down her figure. Noticing that she was only wearing one of his button up shirts that was halfway undone, no bra or underwear on beneath.
The grin stayed on his face even as he slowly started to walk (Y/n) backwards until the back of her knees hit the bed and he carefully nudged her down until she was laying on the bed. He hovered above her, stood between her legs and leaned down until his abdomen was pressing against her bump and his nose was ever so slightly brushing against hers.
"No."
"Tommy-"
"Bedrest means you stay in bed, and you rest. What makes you think I'd let you come back to work?"
He could see the sorrow building up behind her eyes and even though it would usually crumble Tommy's hard persona, this time it didn't. The midwife had instructed bed rest and Tommy was going to ensure that it happened. He wasn't having (Y/n) come back down to the betting room and overwork herself or be around all the idiots he had working for him.
No way was Tommy going to have (Y/n) overdo it and find her crying in the toilet again or collasped down on the floor. He wasn't taking any risks with her or the baby. They had been lucky the midwife said it was only high blood pressure and stress that caused the bleeding two weeks ago.
"I'm bored Tommy. I can sit in the office with you and do the books, it isn't hard or tiring, please? I'll still be resting, I'll be sat down all day."
(Y/n) had managed two weeks stuck in their bedroom and she didn't know how much longer she could last. Two more months of this was going to kill her off and no one was listening to her. Polly and Ada agreed with the midwife and Tommy wasn't letting anyone else come up and visit her and no one was going to dare go against Tommy in favour of (Y/n) working.
She wouldn't even mind if he just brought the books up here for her to write in, it would give her something to do up here all day.
A groan passed through (Y/n)'s lips and Tommy swallowed it up, kissing and nibbling on her lip until she was lightheaded. When he mumbled 'no' against her lips, (Y/n) could of cried if he didn't continue to kiss her like he was trying to steal the life from her.
"Can you bring the book up here then and I'll transcribe all the bets in, please?"
"Nope. You can have any book you want to read, I'll bring you anything, but you ain't working and that's that. Now be a good girl and stay in bed, I've got to get dressed and go."
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Shedding his cap and jacket, Tommy looped them on the hook by the door before he kicked off his shoes and undid the suspenders on his shoulders. He could barely see straight with how tired he felt and it had taken a lot of effort to scrub the blood from his face, hands and neck and change his clothes before coming home. He had taken the time to get the blood from beneath his fingernails too.
He didn't want to bring anything from the dark side of work back home to (Y/n). Whenever he came home to her, he was as clean and tidy as he was when he walked out the door.
His feet barely picked up to trudge up the stairs and he flicked the landing light on as he passed, needing some sort of brightness to wake him up because the darkness was calling his name. Begging for him to sleep and drift off into the dark corners of his mind.
He could feel a smile pulling at his lips when he reached the bedroom. All he wanted was to wrap his arms around (Y/n) and pull her into his chest, never to let her go again.
With his hand on the doorhandle, Tommy barely pushed the door open before something launched his way and had him ducking down, stumbling into the doorframe to be out of the firing line.
"Fucking Christ (Y/n)! What are you doing?!"
Turning to look behind him, Tommy felt his heart beating out of his chest as his eyes landed on a book strewn halfway down the hall behind him. She had thrown a book at him. A fucking book, and he didn't know why. What had he done to warrant that?
He kissed her before he left this morning, in fact he did more than that and she had been smiling tiredly when he left for work. He even sent Polly round this afternoon to check on her and make sure she was alright because he knew she was still struggling with bedrest. So why was she throwing things at him when he had barely walked through the door? Surely he hadn't forgotten anything, today wasn't an important or special day for any reason.
With a deep breath, Tommy stood back up to his full height and stepped into the room, his eyes focused on the bed but (Y/n) wasn't there.
A gurgling cry caught his attention and his wild blue eyes darted round until they landed on his wife. The one thing in his life that he couldn't live, breathe or think without.
She was on the floor.
Tommy tripped over his feet to get over to (Y/n) but he couldn't breathe when he reached her.
(Y/n) was laid on her side on the carpet, her legs curled up to her stomach that was hidden in one of his dark grey button up shirts which she had been wearing a lot recently. Her hair was strewn about all around her, fallen out of a messy bun long ago. One arm was coiled to her stomach and the other was stretched out in front of her clearly from when she had thrown the book towards him. Every part of her was trembling.
But it was the blood that got Tommy's attention. Her exposed thighs were caked in blood, both dried and new and it was soaked into the carpet beneath her. And when he dared to look up at the bed, he saw splatters of blood there too like one of the crime scenes he made his Blinders clean up.
"Fuck- oh shit. Love what's happened? Come on, talk to me."
A burning cry wrenched against the back of (Y/n)'s throat when she felt Tommy's arms cocooning around her. It felt so much better when he lifted her up and took her weight from her, he let her lean into his chest and held her up. Half of her body had gone numb from laying on the floor for so long.
She buried her face in his shirt but slammed her fist into his shoulder to hurt him like she had been hurt. Tommy took the few punches that followed, he tightened his chest and stayed still, letting her vent out her frustrations and he took the horrid scream she errupted against his chest.
"W-where, were you?" (Y/n) sobbed through her words and dug her nails into Tommy's shoulder, begging him to hold her tighter so she knew this wasn't a dream or a mirrage.
"Sweetheart I've been at work, tell me what's happened, please." The desperation in his voice was clear and the agony rattled through into (Y/n)'s chest.
He had been at work, where he had been all day since he left over twelve hours ago. He told (Y/n) he would be home late tonight but he would send Polly round to check on her and she had been okay with that. Why had things suddenly changed like this? He had been in the office until the afternoon and then he had been out on the streets for hours clearing up some business and getting rid of a few loose ends.
"My water broke a-and the blood... Tommy it hurts! I- I couldn't- I tried calling but someone unhooked the phone and..."
The moment the blood started to pool between her legs, (Y/n) tried ringing the office to get hold of someone, anyone who could pass the message along to Tommy that he needed to come home urgently. It rang twice and on the third attempt someone answered before unhooking the phone so no more calls could get through. Then when (Y/n) tried to move, she collapsed on the floor and her phone unplugged from the wall and she was left alone and defenceless.
She had been waiting in agony for Tommy to come home.
Tilting his head down, Tommy pressed his lips against her hair which soaked up the few tears starting to fall from his eyes. He breathed in her scent to stop himself from panicking and slowly swayed them side to side as he held her closer to his heart. Feeling (Y/n) sobbing into his shirt that she was clenching so tightly in her fists that she was about to rip through the material.
Why had no one answered her calls?
Why did no one come and get him? He could have been here hours ago if someone had bothered to hear his wife's calls.
"Love I- I'm so sorry. Let's get you on the bed and I can call the midwife, okay?"
Tommy didn't wait for an answer, he knelt up on the floor and hoisted (Y/n) carefully into his arms bridal style. They couldn't stay sitting on the floor like this and he needed to get her comfortable so he could plug the phone back in and call the midwife- and aunt Pol- and get them both here now.
He couldn't waste anymore time.
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Turning her head to the left, (Y/n) buried her face in Tommy’s chest, smothering a sob in his shirt as she wished this would end soon. When both Polly and the midwife first arrived, both had been in agreement that Tommy should wait downstairs.
(Y/n), however, was not in agreement.
She wanted Tommy by her side, she wanted his arms around her, his lips on her flushed skin and his soft words in her ear. He promised to keep them safe, he couldn't do that from downstairs or waiting outside the door and he was in full agreement. He wasn't going anywhere without (Y/n).
Her skin was blotched red and dotted with sweat, her body was burning up like she was sitting on a coal fire and she couldn't feel a thing below the waist. 
Tommy, however, felt like all he could smell, see and focus on was blood.
The horrid smell was burning his nostrils and flooding the front of his mind and when he looked around the room, it was everywhere when it should be nowhere. There shouldn't be more than a few streaks of blood during this process that was supposed to be magical and heartwarming, not heart-wrenching and life threatening.
The blood on the carpet was dried and as black as the night sky and Tommy was already adamant that he was ripping that carpet up and replacing it when this was all over. The bedsheets were stained, (Y/n)'s legs were smeared pink from the midwife trying to clean the blood away that reappeared again just a few minutes ago. It was back under Tommy's fingernails from holding and moving (Y/n) around on the bed. He hated it.
Tommy pressed his hand to (Y/n)’s neck, kissing the top of her head repeatedly to try and calm her down because he could do little else but provide support.
(Y/n) tightened her hand around his own as she moved so she was leaning back against the pillows instead of Tommy. She could feel Polly dabbing at her neck and forehead with the ice-cold water she had just retrieved from the bathroom. She tried to scream but it came out rather defeated from the lack of energy and the searing pain.
“H-how much longer?” There was such a pleading tone to (Y/n)’s voice as she looked over at the midwife who pursed her lips.
“Not much longer. The head will be born soon.” She ran her hand up and down (Y/n)’s thigh to try and calm her down. “Come on now, another push for me.” (Y/n) did as asked, pressing her chin into her chest as she snapped her eyes closed, trying to ignore the pain that was consuming her but it didn’t work very well. She wanted this to be over, she wanted their baby to be delivered right now or for this to wait another two months so everything would be alright.
It wasn't supposed to happen like this.
(Y/n) was supposed to be on bed rest for another two months, one month in the very least, before they even had to think about labour. She had wanted Tommy here when it started and for things to go smoothly and to have a beautiful healthy baby in her arms. This was too early for that fantasy to become reality.
Tommy kept his eyes on the cream coloured sheet that had been placed beneath (Y/n)’s lower half but his nostrils flared and his jaw locked when he saw how it still started to get coated in blood.
“Tommy…”
“Shh, it’s alright love. You’ll be fine.” Tommy hushed, pressing his lips to her forehead as he brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear. She interlocked their hands together as her other hand pressed to her stomach, wishing the pain would go away.
“Push again for me, the head’s almost born.”
Tommy hooked his arm around (Y/n)’s waist to help her sit up, his other hand still interlocked with her own. He let her lean against his chest as (Y/n) both moaned and screamed at the agony that was tearing through her muscles. Letting out a sharp breath, (Y/n) closed her eyes as she buried her face into Tommy’s neck, feeling him muttering praise against the top of her head.
“Okay, the head’s born.” The midwife reached over for one of the towels resting near Tommy’s leg, not daring to look at him when she heard his sharp breath at seeing the blood on her hands.
(Y/n) started to push again on the next contraction like Mary advised but she felt like she was becoming lightheaded. Tommy kept his hand entwined with hers but moved his arms so they were wrapped around her waist, holding her to his chest. He could feel (Y/n)'s free hand moving up to grip his arm and it made him tremble from how badly she was shaking against him and he hated it.
"Hey, you stay with me, alright? Almost there sweetheart." Tommy's lips stayed pressed to the top of her head but he shook her a little when he felt her wavering against him. She was close to passing out.
"You've done it, you've done it." Polly gripped (Y/n)'s arm and sat down on her other side on the bed, shaking her like Tommy had when (Y/n)'s eyes rolled to the back of her head for a second before she seemed to come back around again.
"Good girl," Those two words sent (Y/n)'s heart alight and made her want to smile but all she could do was nuzzle into her husband, hoping everything would stop now. It didn't seem to sink in with (Y/n) that she was still pushing and the afterbirth came swiftly.
Tommy handed the midwife another towel and she nodded in thanks, gently wrapping it around the tiny newborn. after doing a few checks, she motioned the small bundle towards Tommy, silently asking him to take the newborn but she reeled back when he shook his head. A definite 'no' angrily spat through his lips and he looked at his aunt instead who took the hint.
He wasn't holding his baby until (Y/n) was stable and alright, he couldn't let go of her in case something happened. It felt as if letting go of her would cause her to slip away from him and Tommy couldn't handle that.
His heart hammered away in his chest as he watched Polly take the tiny bundle into her arms, a breathless smile on her tear-drenched face. She quietly mouthed 'girl' at Tommy before she started to rock the small bundle side to side.
“Alright miss.” The midwife hushed soothingly, rattling through her bag before retrieving a small clear glass bottle and a needle. She injected a fair amount of what Tommy guessed was clotting medication into (Y/n)'s lower stomach.
Tommy bit down on his tongue to stop himself from crying or shouting or simply exploding when (Y/n) groaned quietly. Her back arched up from the bed and her head pressed bruisingly into his shoulder but he didn't care. Carefully, Tommy sat (Y/n) forward so he could move around behind her and lean back against the pillows. He sat back against the pillows and headboard and slowly lowered (Y/n) back so she was leaning against his chest, laid between his spread legs.
This was how they laid thousands of times at night, (Y/n) between his legs wrapped up in his embrace like she was a child needing comfort. This way Tommy could kiss her head and keep his arms around her chest and give her the comfort she was seeking.
The midwife gave (Y/n) another injection in her elbow and then started to place rags dipped in ice water over (Y/n)'s neck, wrists and stomach to help cool her down so she didn't fall into a fever.
Time seemed to disappear from them and Tommy wondered if he had slipped into a trance and for how long until he suddenly felt (Y/n) relax in his arms. Whatever the midwife had given her seemed to have done some good, she wasn't trembling against him or moaning in agony and he knew she was still awake which was another good thing.
"No stitches required but she's lost a lot of blood. I'm going to call for a doctor, she might need to go to hospital for a transfusion and fluids and it would be safe for baby to be checked over at hospital. For now, they're both stable."
Tommy refrained from rolling his eyes. The amount of blood he'd seen (Y/n) lose was enough to bring the dead back to life. She needed blood, Hell Tommy would give her pints of his own blood if they matched and it meant she would get better. He knew she wasn't going to be impressed about going to hospital but he needed her to get better and recover.
But for now he could relax a little and let down the guard he had built up to keep himself contained and in check. (Y/n) wasn't on the verge of death, she wasn't in immediate danger.
As if a light had gone off in his head, Tommy looked over at Polly and let his gaze fall down on the bundle in her arms.
Surely two months early meant their baby girl was going to have some sort of complications or issues. Tommy could see already that she was tiny, she wouldn't even measure to the size of his lower arm and the clothes they had clearly weren't going to fit her. But she was breathing, she was whimpering and moving and that was more than he could have asked for in this situation.
"Pol," Ticking his head, Tommy looked down at (Y/n) before back to his aunt who got his silent request and leaned closer to the couple.
She was gentle when she slipped the baby into (Y/n)'s trembling arms, moving the towel back so they could see her face and the newborn could have skin to skin contact with (Y/n).
Tilting his head down, Tommy rested his chin on (Y/n)'s shoulder and moved his hand so he could delicately brush his finger over his newborn's cheek.
"She's beautiful."
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yanderegrizzsworld · 4 months
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i remember the yandere sonic the hedgehog sonic, shadow, silver about the reader dying because of like tails and such what if one day they see the reader standing near where they died the reader managed to make themselves a physical body except they still have wounds and blood all over them the reader can touch them and objects
It's alright if you don't wanna do this request
Have a great day :3
This genuinely has so much angst potential & I could talk about how each of the hedgehog's could at first believe that they're merely hallucinating at the moment because there's no way you're still alive— You can't be alive— & yet here you are, standing right in front of them, just as pretty & as charming as they remember, though you are covered head to toe in blood but they won't focus on that right now. How a silent laugh or a sudden cackle rises from their throats as their finger or hand or arm twitch to go & touch you, to feel you— Maybe, just maybe, you are here...
How Sonic immediately dashes to you at such speed that you barely process his foot initially lifting to him pressed against you, hands clutching you so hard you're incapable of moving if you tried. How his mouth— Just like his feet— move without pause nor end, each phrase & word blending & bluring into each other at such rapid speed you'd assume he'd just created a new language. How he claims he's sorry for not being there for you, not being there to protect you— But that's okay! He's here now, you're here now & he promises to never allow it to happen again, he swears!
How Shadow just stands there, staring— Almost contemplating about what he's seeing, is his mind playing tricks on him? Is he so lost in his grief & mourning for you that he's imagining you right there? Right here? Right now? How when you call his name— Whether in confusion or in calm delight, it doesn't matter— He's right here infront of you, a few feet away at first, then a few inches & now holding your wrist up to his face. How he slowly rubs his thumb in circles on your skin, your warmth radiating through his glove & into his palm. How he raises your hand closer to his face until you feel his breath hit against & through your fingers. How he presses his lips against your knuckles & just leaves them there for a while & you swear you see tears build in his eyes. How you feel him mumble against your knuckles, though what he says you don't understand, & that's fine, you don't need to comprehend him saying how he'll ensure you never leave him through death again.
How Silver appears stunned in his spot, but just as quick as he froze, his now tackled you to the ground. How his embrace is so hard— So tight— You feel like you can't breathe, you feel like you can't talk because of the lack of oxygen. How after softening his grip & you mutely gasp for fresh air in your lungs do you see the tears in his eyes, rolled down his cheeks & dripping off his chin slightly damping you clothes. How he can't seem to help himself & just peppers your face in kisses, equally as soft & swift as the last. How he's so glad you're here with him! How you'll never leave him again & he can't wait to spend more time with you, how he promises to protect you at all costs, even if it costs him his life, so be it! As long as you're here with him, it doesn't matter.
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blurry-mask · 2 years
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🎭 Sal Fisher 🎭 Headcanons
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🎭When Sal decided to finally show you his face, he was so nervous you wouldn't love him anymore, but instead the first thing you did was kiss him on his lips. He started crying. (Aw baby 🥺)
🎭Sal isn't really comfortable with pda, and that may be because he doesn't want anyone staring, but he does hold pinkys with you most of the time and maybe hold hands.
🎭Every single time you give him a kiss, like anywhere, he gets flustered, and when he gives you kisses he's pretty shy about it.
🎭YOU, Sal, Larry, and Ash are ride or dies for eachother, if someone has a problem with one of you they can kiss your asses cause they can't do shit about it.
🎭Sal can't even comprehend how you two got together, it just happened. You're the one that said something, you've been friends for so long, and you two hang out in his room a lot. One day you said out of nowhere, "You know I love you right? Like more than a best friend".
🎭 Sal's heart had never beated so loud it filled his entire head. Hearing those words felt so good. All he could do was stare at you.
🎭After that was a blure but all you two could say is that you took it slow.
🎭Dates with Sal are pretty chill, most of the time you two walk to a convenience store to get snacks and go back and watch a movie or talk about stuff. Rarely you two sit out the front of the convenience store and listen to music.
(I love Sal so much 🥺💕 how can you not?)
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vashkinnie · 17 days
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He was a priest - a man of god who was drowning in his sins. He was agressive and he cursed and smoked, and under the moonlight he tasted like alcohol when their lips met.
His kisses sometimes hurt. More often than not, they were rough and desperate and angry, as if it was Vash who was at fault for all those blured emotions.
Maybe he was, but Vash was selfish and priest's touch left him feverish with want.
And God was confusing, right? Always working in His mysterious ways, with invisible strings that moved the planets and the stars. And no matter how harsh He was in His teachings, He loved unconditionally.
Looking at Vash, Wolfwood understood God, believed all the songs humanity sang in His name: two eyes, two suns and two moons, two lips that tasted like acceptance.
Vash did love after him, in his long and lonely years of endless wandering. And how could he not, when everything he's done, everything he's become was because he loved?
But every time he's close to letting someone in, he feels cold hands creep in, rough and big, burned from all the cigarettes, pulling at his heartstrings, playing the same old song of promised tomorrows that would never come.
A whip to his tired soul, a cruel reminder that he who has yearned for humanity (just to be denied over and over again; a choir that never ceased to be home for new voices), was oh so human in his inability to save those who mattered.
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bakerstreethound · 1 year
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Just me thinking of touching sherlocks curls, they look so soft.... Sorry, I'm so desperate and wouldn't mind some cuddles and just play with his hair... 😪
This is so adorable. I hope you enjoy the short little something my mind finally ended up conjuring. I hope you can find some comfort in this as I've had and I hope you enjoy (: As always comments and reblogs are most appreciated!
Hold Me Close
All writings belong to me @bakerstreethound (Do NOT claim, copy, repost, or translate my works to any other sites. I only publish here and on A03)
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Why do you expect so much from me? 
You groan, trying to resist the urge to bang your head against the wall for what felt the thousandth time today. Your brain remained relentless pulling you down into its currents of torments but somehow you still prevailed despite it all. Your fingers continued tapping along your keyboard, eyes making no sense of the words that continue bluring along the screen.
It hurts, the longer your brain thinks, but you try, how you try to stop the doubt crawling in inch by inch. You let out a sigh, wanting to scream, give up, but that's not an option, it can't be you've come to far to crash and burn it all like this. So you groan, pushing yourself back from the desk, pacing back and forth. 
Sherlock comes in, noticing you going back and forth, bottled up fury, oozing from you like a volcano on the verge of eruption. The twisting of your face, fingers digging into your hair, made something inside him twinge, his eyes softening, but he didn't know how you'd react. It was after all, a test of some sort, but he knew he didn't want to get burned, least of all by you.
“What is it, what do you want?” You can’t help the bite of your words the stinging sensation burning behind your eyes. Couldn’t you do anything right? Let alone not snap at the one person who made your life not a living hell?  
He doesn’t say a word, pulling you in his arms, extinguishing your flame, coolness evaporating around you, making the world feel okay it all seemed less….scary and cruel, you could think clearer unworried about the future in that moment. 
Only for a moment. 
It can’t last forever now can’t it? Your cruel mind taunts, daring to pull you further down, burying it claws inside you, bringing you six feet under and back again. 
Hands reach up into your hair, stroking it softly, as he urges you away from your office and up to your shared room. Wordlessly, he lays you down under the covers, carefully easing himself on top of you, head resting against yout chest murmuring encouragement, whispering sweet nothings you so craved deep down but never spoke of.  
You need him, just him. Soon enough, you find your mind wandering, filled with thoughts of him as you siently begin playing with his curls, tugging them gently, a much needed distraction along with his steady breathing. 
Your fingers in his curls has him melting and calms your mind. You're here. You're safe, the thoughts of failure, failure, failure, slowing down in your mind the more you begin to stay present, taking in your surroundings desperately trying to ground yourself to this. To enjoy the the temporary subsiding of your raging brain. 
Oh how you wish you could throw it out make it new again and renew it all. Day by day is all it takes. But for now, you take it in kind, one kiss along your jawline, as he presses into you more. Soft whimpers fall from his lips, your thumb tracing along his jawline, hand caressing his face as he falls into you, nuzzling your neck, placing silent reverent kisses along it and you lean into him. 
“Sherlock…” his name is like a prayer upon your lips and he continues in kind, soft feather light giving way to a deeper hunger. When his lips hover along your own, you sigh, tugging his curls gently wrapping your arms around his neck falling harder, further, into them, wanting needing more of this, more of him. 
He kisses you deeper, full of desperation, silent whimper falling from him, admiring you, he can’t get enough. “Perfect, that’s right…” the kisses of his own fall back along your neck, enjoying your ministrations, pressing them along your collarbone, murmuring softer to himself. 
You can’t fathom why your mind could think of anything beyond this, but it filled you with something more of joy rather than the dread following you for weeks. All you could ever ask for is for more nights like this, Sherlock in your arms for nothing felt more right than this moment.
******
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kishibeswh0re · 11 months
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"What's the problem, doll?" He said as he pulled you into a hug from behind. His big framed pressed against yours while his hands settled on your waist. His lips traveling down your neck. Peppering kisses along your skin as his stubble tickled you.
"'s nothing" you mumbled before turning around to wrap your hands around his neck. Pulling him closer than he already was. Holding him tight before pressing your lips to his. One hand traveling to gently cup your cheeks as he eagerly returned the kiss. His lips tasting vaguely of liquor and cigarettes.
You slowly pulled back just to bury your head in his broad chest. Inhaling the scent of the cologne you've gotten him. His body was so warm and big, and comforting. Something you'd never thought you'll find in a partner. Let alone someone like Kishibe.
"I know you're hiding something sweetheart" his hands playing with a Strand of your hair. you shook your head. Knowing full well he was just back from work and didn't have the energy to deal with your problems. "Don't lie to me, you have those eyes again"
"what eyes?" You Tried to hide your face in his chest again. Hands squeezing him tighter, closer. One of his hands lifting your face as his index finger amd thumb held your chin. Making you look at his half-leaded, surprisingly soft eyes.
"The eyes when something is bothering you but you won't tell me" he was right. Something was bothering you. You just couldn't bring yourself to tell him. Too afraid you'll annoy him. "Don't you trust me?" Tears blured your vision. You shook your head. Not trusting your voice. Scared you'll breakdown if you said anything.
He knew that face. He knew it too well, and it was one he couldn't stand.
He sat down at the Couch behind him. Gently pulling you down with him to settle on his lap. His arm wrapped themselves tighly around you as his fingers found their way into your hair
"Tell me everything until you'll smile for me again"
Tears rushed down your face. Your breathing just staring to return to normal and your head was slightly pounding. But you felt.. peaceful. Like a heavy burden was lifted from your shoulders. After crying your heart out infront of your lovers you felt as though the ache in your heart has started to fade away.
"Was that all?" His lips turned slightly upward in a gentle smils. You nodded. Looking at him with still glossy eyes. his hands wiping the tears on your face away before giving you a Peck on the lips. You didn't know devil hunter's could be this sweet.
You laid your head on his shoulder. His body was still tense. " Kishibe I'm sorry i know you're-"
"Don't" he tone suddenly shifted. A sharp contrast to the soft tone of voice he was using up until now.
"Don't you ever apologize for something like this; You don't have to apologize for a Damn thing"
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technologyculturedneo · 8 months
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SOS: Poison In My Mind (Pt 1)
PLAYING NOW: Season 2 of SOS: AM I ALIVE
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“We met in the worst circumstance possible, but yet, even if we had to meet in different circumstances, I’d still fall for you.”
SUMMARY. A series of events following the aftermath of the break in/hostage situation has everyone feeling tense. The Zhong family is torn with disappoints, from Yezi deciding that she wants to keep the rape baby, to Dae leaving the family wanting something else from her life. With months and years treading by, the family is met again in uncanny situations with the same old boys who can’t seem to get away from them.
PAIRING(s). Delinquent!Mark, Felony!Haechan, Boyfriend!Jeno, Brother!Renjun; Policeman!Jaemin, Jisung; Husband!Chenle, Boyfriend!Jaehyun X OC Dae, Yezi (original character)
GENRE. Angst. Longshot. Slow burn. Crime. Strangers to lovers. Smut (non-consensual/consensual). Family.
WARNINGS. Drugs abuse (Alcohol, smoking, marijuana, cocaine, heroin). Sexual content (consensual, child abuse, pedophile). Slow burn (unlike the first book filled with edge and action, here’s a more toned down and summary filled action after the aftermath, lots of convo.)
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S2: EP1-7 The moment the judge hits the gavel, Dae unknowingly lets out a sigh of relief. Laying her head against her dad's shoulder, some tears pouring out of her eyes causing her to hiccup, sniff and fall into a breaking emotional state. Her dad, Chenle hugs her tightly. He feels such an overwhelming amount of pain. He doesn't even know what to say when he watches the police handcuff the boys and makes them line up against the opposite doors, preparing them for their new prison life.
Dae gets her head off his shoulder and with her eyes smudged in tears and nose running just as badly, her face red and voice barely above a whisper. "Dad, I can't breathe," She hiccups terribly struggling to say.
Chenle is attentive and assists her up as he navigates her outside of the Court room. With his arms around her shoulder, he walks with her steadily and his eyes peer around trying to find a specific door, which was right next to the court room. Entering into the room whereby his wife and Yezi are, his heart grows heavy upon seeing Yezi in a similar dreadful position crying her soul out.
Yezi upon seeing her dad gets up as well and runs into her dad's arms. Chenle holds tight, embracing them generously the same way when they cried that he and his ex-wife were splitting. His lips kiss the top of their precious heads just as his eyes shut by the overflow of tears bluring his vision. His daughters sadly crying only causes his heart more pain that as their father he couldn't protect them against the evil of the world. Chungdae, Chenle's wife gets up slowly and makes her way towards her family. She moves behind Chenle and back hugs him, her own tears building up.
Yezi and Dae stretch their arms in sync backwards to wrap around Chungdae. No matter how much she was reminded of being their step mum, no matter how much she fought with Yezi, no matter how much Dae was nice to her without actually allowing her to know her real feelings, and no matter how much Chenle tried to always make her feel a part of his family even though deep down she knew she had a long way to acceptance with the whole family, right now being here with them somehow feels like a new level of depth.
The fact that she cut her trip half way- once her plane landed and Chenle called her to tell her the details she booked the next flight back- and came to serve as support for the girls as well as her husband who continuously blamed himself. It's like she had unlocked a new sacred bound with each and every one of them- although it was because of a traumatic experience, she’s somehow happy to feel included in their suffering of the moment.
Chenle loved his kids, and as Chungdae loved his kids as her own only made him love her more. And right now, as Chenle has all the loves of his life around him- it only tears him down more. If only this was a much pleasant occasion instead of a horrifying one.
Meanwhile, in the courtroom similar feelings and emotions are being done. However, it's only directed at Renjun and his mum.
Renjun is an incoherent speechless dreadful mess as he’s plunged in tears. He wants to shout and cry out loud but he can't even express his overwhelming pain as his own physical state hurts him with every move he makes causing him so much discomfort. All he does is sink his head into his mother's shoulders and shudders as the tears furiously plunge out of his one good eye.
His mother with immense loving arms tightens her embrace- shielding him from the emotions of right now. Her scent sips into his nostrils and despite the ache, he appreciates this comfort which in all his life has always sought out for. The sincere and dear love of his mother. Her heart shreds due to how she failed to protect her son from the boy she gave birth to. Her eyes have sprinkles of water, and her head throbbing with the new forming headache from holding in a load amount of tears. From the moment she took in this lost little Chinese boy as her own son, for the first time in her dark miserable life she could say that she had hope. To see her hope of a son bearing his soul out for a crime he did not commit, stains her soul of feeling like a failure again. She failed with her first son. But right now, she didn’t want it to be the case of her second son. And so she holds in her voice of agony, of pain and whispers with strength. "You're going to be alright okay? I'm not mad at you. You did what was right and I swear it’ll all pay back some day. It looks dark now, but I promise you Renji that…everything will work out.” Her eyes let out some tears before she sniffs. “I promise that I’ll be waiting for you when you come out. Don't be scared my boy, be brave in there. Don’t let them break you. You are my hope and I know this world doesn’t deserve you, but come back to me in one piece okay? I love you so much Renji, so so much you have no idea. Just stay strong for me okay?"
“Okay,” Renjun hiccups out trying to hold it in but the devastation is too much to bear.
Standing in line behind Mark, Donghyuck watches vulnerably.
It pains and even hurts to see his mum in tears and wrapping all her love upon Renjun. Even when the guards break them apart and Renjun gets back in line behind him, he prepares himself for the hug that he knows his mum always gives. He's expecting for his mum's love and attention, even though she might be angry at him, Donghyuck knows that she always gave the best hugs of comfort.
But when she looks at him…
Donghyuck is only able to make out the look of humiliation. Disappointment. And so much sadness as though she’s failed with him. In her eyes that were so full of adoration and affection for Renjun, he gets her capital look of sadness as she covers her mouth and closes her eyes filled with tears and turns away.
Donghyuck sucks in a sharp breath, his glossy eyes stinging from how much tears he's holding back. He gets pushed out of the court room by the police and he follows them to a waiting room. Upon waiting they get taken in for their final prints. Still with cuffs around his wrists, he’s aggressively assisted in getting his finger prints inked and pressed on paper. He does his signature, gets a court mug shot and then initially given a see through plastic bag of a blue standard prison uniform. Mark gets the same color.
Yet, upon seeing Renjun walk out of the prints room with a bag of orange prison clothes… he can't hold in his tears. Renjun sits on the other side of the hallway but still in front of Donghyuck, when he sees that his older brother’s shoulders are sagged so low and he hears sounds of anguish, sounds of agony, does his heart remind him of how much he’s put up with Donghyuck. All he wanted was to be his brother’s friend and getting to know his brother. Unfortunately, trying to get to know his brother would mean becoming him and that’s not something Renjun ever wants again. And so, also silently he weeps again out of his one good eye.
Meanwhile Jeno and Mark have such emotionless looks towards one another. Unlike the other bags, Jeno’s see through bag had a green prison uniform. Mark is so distorted to reality and unfazed with his brother that when Jeno gets ushered out by a new guard he finds himself speaking. “Good luck bro,”
Jeno, in his own unfazed and worn-out actuality mummers. “You too.”
In honesty, for Jeno everything was one big blur. The fact that it was night and he was in the car with his brother, to somehow him waking up in a hospital 3 weeks later with minor burn patches just chaotically threw him off everything he knew as reality. And then he hears that he’s being charged with breaking and entering into a wealthy mansion. It’s the most absurd nightmare he’s ever woken up from- everything was one big drunken blur of memories popping up here and there, but he has no recollection of actually living in those memories. To say he was beyond confused was an understatement. He was just numb yet puzzled that all this happened. All he remembers is being drunk and waking up in a hospital bed weeks later.
The one thing he can remember lividly, was when he entered into the girl that he has admired, when he entered her room and saw his brother forcing her to mouth fuck his crotch- that felt like something he would never ever be able to forget. That is a spare moment that he can’t get out his head. So walking into a prison statement with the least amount of knowledge of why he’s being sentenced, Jeno sucks it up and follows.
Donghyuck can’t stop crying at this point. Even if his voice is low, Renjun and Mark can hear it. Although it’s awkward for Mark, for Renjun it’s a painful and pitiful reality that shit hits hard. Donghyuck’s eyes are shut, as painful reminders of how he not only disappointed his mother and brother, but he also proved Yezi’s words to be true. The words of her telling him how worthless he is. Because truly, he feels like a worthless, filthy, cheap, vain, unlucky, useless, pathetic, miserable and pain for his whole family.
Donghyuck is in tears and can't even say anything when they take Renjun away to his respective bus leading to the county jail center. Renjun can't even say anything when seeing Donghyuck's head hung so low as his shoulders shake and light sounds of grief in emotions are heard from him. In fact, in this moment where he looks at his brother…there’s a slight mounting anger of how he should’ve never tried so hard to get his approval in anything. Donghyuck never ever cared about him. And as he leaves the court and gets into his bus, a slowly fueling hatred grows in him.
It’s only left Donghyuck and Mark in the corridor as they wait for the arrival of their bus that would probably be filled with returning criminals going back to the same prison. At this point, Donghyuck knew the cycle all too well.
He knew that there would be new second time offenders, old gang cliques who committed hard crimes, gang members who’re coming in to deliver a message to one of their old boys in prison, crime offenders who somehow always get away with petty charges instead of life sentences and lastly the guys who had nowhere else to go but prison…and so committing a petty crime to be charged at least 5 years would satisfy their life- these were the people that Donghyuck knew were going to be with him. Donghyuck knew of the type of people he’d see again, and how ecstatic they’d be to see him. Prison life was his home. The only home that welcomed him with open arms every time, with ‘friends’, people who protected him, the officers who alarmingly treated him ‘well’ and the all-time shelter and food that was provided to him each and every day.
If anything, he should’ve been happy to be going back to a place of ‘rest’, but there’s a weight on his chest that’s anchoring him down, there’s a heavy burden on his shoulders that’s sinking him. The fact that it’s not a thought but it’s now his reality. He always joked that one of these days he’d come back as a rapist, but now the dawning weight of his reality sets him in such a dark hole. He has added onto his record something that once hurt his mother. He has added onto his record a pain that’s deep and unfathomable, something that would define him as an ‘experienced criminal’. Donghyuck shudders and blurts out another cry as he sinks his head in between his hands. His own mother couldn’t even stand to look at him. Donghyuck feels so shut out right now. Enraged at himself for being such a fuck up. He can’t believe that he crossed over to a side he’d never thought himself of crossing.
When he feels the harsh hand of the guard, he knows that this time as he’s going to prison it won’t be the usual years of rest, but instead a commencement time of guilt and punishment. He deserved punishment for all that he’s put his family through. For all that he’s put everyone that he has hurt through.
He sucks up his tears but keeps his head down with his jaws locked. Unlike getting in the bus and always going to the back and greeting the old timers who joyously call unto his name- he takes the front seat close to the window. Mark, not obliged to follow, feels in him that his partner in crime isn’t himself and so he takes a seat next to him after acknowledging some of the returning inmates. Mark seated beside Donghyuck feels uncomfortable but can only endure it. Donghyuck has his head against the window his head pining on him. It doesn't sit right with Mark and all he can do is lay his hand upon the ladders shoulder. He had no words because he didn’t understand why he was moping.
Donghyuck can't take his eyes off his mum as she stands outside waving her hand towards Renjun's bus. She's crying, holding onto some tissue papers and looking defeated. Donghyuck's eyes sting when he sees her crouching down still in tears.
She used to look at him like that. She'd cry for him like that. But now she can't even stand to look at him.
As the bus begins moving out the court parking, Donghyuck’s eyes unconsciously catches onto the news crews and reports all withering and surrounding the court as they try to get to the ‘Zhong’ family. His eyes don’t mean to, but they go to the girls who are rushed into such a high class, superior and posh maroon looking car.
It all started with a car, an envious yet spiteful car that seemed in hands reach and just for him. A car that was a whole Pandora’s box. If only Donghyuck could go back in time, to the time that stupid spoilt car carrying those fucking high social brats passed his own rusty faded red car, if only he could go back and peal his eyes off that car and to his brother who only wanted to go home. He would’ve never lusted over the car if he knew what he knew. He would turn to his brother and agree to just take him home- far away from the lives of the rich people. Far away from the life of chaos. And far away from the life he was living.
After a decent and mouth sovereign dinner in a luxurious five-star restaurant, Chenle and his family quietly went back to their respective rental guarded home whereby their new life would begin.
Sitting around the living room, Chenle explains that the insurance company that insured their house will finish in about a month's time. But he wanted to know whether or not they felt safe moving back into that neighborhood or wanted a new place.
It's basically nonnegotiable for them all as they all want a change of scenery. Ever since the incident, the Zhong family were the communities most talked about family for (not only) the outrageous verdicts that the boys got, but also for how 4 lowlifes managed to break into such a secured residential area and well-guarded home. Few of the neighboring families moved out immediately, while others were already preparing to move out, most enhanced their security, so it only made sense that the people in the area didn't feel safe and were contemplating on leaving or staying.
"Another thing we need to address," Chungdae starts, laying her hand on Chenle’s knee, sensing his hesitancy. "Yezi,"
"Yes?" Yezi nervously squeezes Dae’s hand having an idea of what the conversation would be about.
Chungdae silently sighs looking at Chenle before focusing her attention on her step daughter, who had sadly and traumatically become pregnant but had said nothing ever since the confirmation at the hospital. "It's been a month and some days since you've been pregnant-"
"I know." She counts the days every day. "Can we not talk about-"
"And every time we bring it up you try to turn it down. Chungdae has got some pills you can take now to neutralize the thing moving in your stomach. Tomorrow is Wednesday and we’re taking you to the hospital to get it removed." This time Chenle speaks, his voice not too welcoming as if he has an idea of what his 16-year-old daughter is thinking. "If you're thinking about keeping it you can forget it."
Yezi's head strikes up at her dad with wide saddened eyes. She sits on the edge of her seat with prompt and firm lips. But the thing that speaks most to Chenle is the look of fortitude, of resilience of some sort of willpower. "Dad-"
"Absolutely not.” Chenle springs back in distaste of high disgust. “Not in my house. You are not-”
“Dad you didn’t even give me a chance to speak-”
“Speak about what?” Chenle’s got his eyes bulging out of his socket. “This is not a discussion we’re having. You’re going to remove-”
“No!” Yezi suddenly cries back and gulps back holding in her tears.
“You can't tell me you've been seriously thinking of keeping that damned thing-"
"Dad-"
“Yezi that’s enough!” Chenle never yells, but when he does it catches everyone off guard. “Have you gone stupid?”
“Honey-”
“No have you gone mad? Retarded maybe? Yezi this is not up for discussion. You will not have that thing grow in you!”
“Why? It’s my-”
“Have you fucking gone retarded-”
“Dad this is my child!” It takes Chungdae holding Chenle back by his arm when he shoots up from the couch, while Dae holds tightly onto Yezi’s hand when Yezi bursts out in franticness. The tears now streaming out. “I’m not going to remove it. It’s mine.”
“Yezi,” Chenle and Chungdae both call out in a morphed sadness filled with disappointment.
"Yezi," Dae calls in bafflement. Ever since the accident, they hadn’t left each other’s side. They slept in the same hotel room, despite there being enough rooms. They had late night talks whereby they felt comforted in each other as sisters for the first time. Their bound had never ever been like this before, whereby they hardly spoke to each other yet felt distant in their experiences- but at the same time they wanted to protect each other, they wanted to love each other more than ever. But not even Dae could understand the sudden twist and burst of emotions from her little sister. In Dae’s mind when looking at her little sister- after all the talks they’ve had she would have never thought that an idea of even keeping the child was valid. "You want to keep it?" Dae asks quietly.
With the question hanging in the air and all ears attentive to Yezi, while their brains are in astonishment of the seemingly new revelation, Yezi presses her hands to her stomach and nods her head slowly. There's a long pause in the air causing Yezi's heart to beat rapidly and she's afraid to look up. She already knows what her dad will say, what Chungdae will say, what Dae will say, but she doesn't care. “I want to keep it, I need to keep it.”
There’s such a strong tensed silence that moves around the room. Chenle’s chest is mounting with such boiling anger when looking at his daughter.
“Why?” Chungdae asks in confusion, distress and fear especially when feeling her husband’s hand bulging. “Yezi-”
“No.” Chenle is seething through his teeth. The ‘no’ serves as a mind snapping effect for Yezi. She looks up to her dad with tears in her eyes, her jaw trembling.
“Dad.”
“No.” Chenle is firm when saying his final verdict. It doesn't matter that Yezi full of sadness attempts to speak- Chenle doesn’t want it. "No. You are not keeping it. No daughter of mine will-"
"But dad-"
"I said no Yezi." Chenle shakes his head again trying to calm himself down. "You're not keeping it. You're not keeping that bastard of a child. You are going to take the pills now and tomorrow-"
"Dad I'll never forgive myself for killing it-"
"Forgive yourself? You're not at fault here." Chungdae adds with confusion seeing that Yezi shakes her head and seems determined. "And it's not alive yet, you're not killing it. You're removing it."
"Mum please." Yezi sits on the edge of her seat looking desperate. “I can’t do it. I can’t go on with allowing this little thing in me to die. I don’t have the heart to go through with the abortion. I would never forgive myself-”
“For fuck- Yezi!” Chenle can’t believe what he’s hearing. From the corner of the room, the little Daegal is quivering and shivering by the uproar of Chenle’s voice. “No-”
“Dad you’re not carrying this so you don’t understand.” Yezi finds herself breaking free from Dae’s hand and standing up with her arms covering her womb. “You don’t understand how long it took me to get to this point. I’ve thought about it ever since I found out. I will keep the baby. Not because I am excited to have it, but because I don’t want to kill it. I cannot square it with my conscious. It's also a living being and has a right to life, and I shouldn't decide whether it gets to live or not. I don’t have that right and it’s heartless and inhumane even thinking about taking away-"
As Yezi hits nerve after nerve Chenle is so close – a pinch away from forcing his daughter to have no choice, the words that she’s saying only make his blood boil. Her words render Chungdae silent as her thoughts are suddenly on her past mistakes. Not only Chungdae, but Dae as well knows that whether it was intentional or not Yezi was hitting on and referring to the reason her parents split and that was because of Chungdae and her ‘babies’.
“Do you know what pain I’m feeling at just the thought of giving it up-”
Dae can feel the tension slowly rising in the room, and if Yezi didn’t choose her words correctly then most assuredly she would be in big trouble. “Yezi-”
But Yezi’s already so hot with her words and can’t back down as she speaks over Dae shaking her head. “I’ve read the damages that abortions can have on a woman’s body. Dad you should know far better than anyone what abortions can do-” Her jaws tremble glaring at her dad now with such overwhelming anger. “What if I’ll never get a chance like this again? Huh? You and Chungdae have been trying for a really long time but nix and zilch have been the results-”
Chungdae feeling jabbed shakes her head. “That’s not- Sweety please let’s not-”
“You can't even give birth anymore because of all those abortions you’ve had while having an affair with my dad behind my mum’s back. You both took the right away and now you want me to make that same fucked up decision as-”
She’s not expecting the rough hand of her dad gripping onto her wrist and dragging her with such force and strength. “Honey please-” Chungdae has to suck up her pride and wipe her eyes when trying to follow Chenle.
“Where are those pills?”
“Honey please let’s just sit and talk-”
“No.”
"No?" Chungdae follows rapidly behind Chenle who busts opens into different drawers around their room while Yezi yells for her dad to let her go. “Honey please, she’s crying and-”
“Where are the pills?!”
Chungdae is taken aback at Chenle shouting when directing his attention to her.
“This is my daughter! There’s no way in fucking hell will I ever allow her to even consider keeping that thing in her womb! It’s not hers and we’re not raising that thing!” Chenle’s jaw locks when his eyes take notice of the sullen look plastered over her features.
“That ‘thing’ was in my womb too, and I…” The look of guilt coats Chungdae’s face, dampening his mood when seeing how teary and weary eyed she gets. At this point it’s by instinct how he always tries to wipe the tears off her eyes before they fall off. Letting go of Yezi instantly just so he can attend to Chungdae only leaves Chungdae in a remorseful crying mess as she covers her face with shame. “If I hadn’t had all those abortions then maybe we would’ve been… I would’ve been able to give you the child you wanted-It’s all my fault, I’m sorry honey-”
“No, no.” Chenle’s voice simmers down into a low tenderly octave when hearing how broken and crushed his wife’s cry is. He walks carefully towards her, his hands holding onto her shoulders looking just as vulnerable. “It wasn’t your fault. Don’t do that baby, don’t,” Straightaway he wraps his arms around her securing her from the emotions that have resurfaced. “Baby… we made that decision t-together. It’s not your fault.. You didn’t…I don’t blame you at all my love. Please, don’t cry,”
“Yezi’s right-” Chungdae whimpers, not being able to stop the tears as well as remove her hands from her blotched crying face.
“She’s not right, don’t listen to her. She will not disrespect you like that and-”
Chungdae shakes her head, knowing exactly what Yezi meant. Chenle would never understand what it’s like to live with that conscious memory of having done an abortion, only for it to affect everything years later. He would never get it because he refused to come to terms with the fact that she took away the one thing he was really excited about, and that was to have kids with her.
The first few times when they found out she was pregnant was in their mutual decision to remove baby after baby in hopes of Chenle’s former wife not to find out, but after the cat got out the bag and Chenle came clean to his wife of his affair did Chungdae unintentionally decide to remove the baby thinking that this would’ve been the last time she’d see him ever again. Little did she know that it would’ve been the last time she’d ever be able to conceive again.
Her tears are all over the place, loud enough for Dae to even hear. Upon seeing Yezi frantically walk towards the door- Dae stops her. “That was a low blow Yezi. Did you really have to?”
“But it’s true.”
“Just because it’s true it doesn’t give you the right to just bring stuff like that up. You know Chungdae is sensitive to -”
“She’s sensitive because she fucked up-”
“You think you’re not being a fuck up right now?” Dae yanks Yezi by her arm when she opens up the main door. Forcing Yezi to look at her they both look at each other intensely. “Look, I probably don’t have much of a say in you and wanting to keep it but don’t drag mum down-”
“You keep forgetting she’s not my mum,” Yezi rips her arm away from Dae. “And plus. I already spoke to mum- our real mum. She said I can keep it.”
Dae has a puzzled almost annoyed face. “You’ve been talking to her? Yezi do you even know-”
“Just because she used dad, and you didn’t get along with her doesn’t mean she’s not my mum anymore. She’s still a mother to me, I love her more than I ever did you and dad, she’s still my mum and she gave me enough clarity to decide for myself.” Yezi doesn’t look hurt, but her eyes do look somber upon talking about her mother.
Dae can only try to breathe in as she finds the right words to say despite her anger slowly rising. “You’re forgetting that she’s the one who asked for that divorce not dad. She’s the one who left us for her new free life. She didn’t take us with her because she didn’t want us- so what could she possibly tell you about child birth that would make you consider even keeping that thing? The mother that I know would’ve never even allowed you to keep a rapist’s child.”
“You’re wrong, our mother- just like dad loved kids. And it’s not a rapist’s child, it’s my child.” And with that Yezi opens up the front door and bangs it. She has no real destination when leaving the house- all she knows is that she needed to clear her head. It’s past 10pm and she doesn’t even-
“Going somewhere?”
She stops, being startled for a second. Standing by a black vehicle, she spots the Officer Na Jaemin. “Officer Na,” Her gaze being fazed by his presence. “What’re you doing here?”
Jaemin simply stares at the girl. “Patrol work. Your father wanted tight security while being here in the rental house.”
“Tight security by yourself?”
Jaemin shifts his weight a little displaying the black tinted window of the car. He knocks twice on it, causing the window to roll down displaying a shy smiling Officer Jisung. “Yes?”
“Jisung and I are here, there’s two at the back, two on each side, and two at the gates. We’re tight if the time calls for it.” Jaemin points out. “Once again, are you going somewhere? If so we’ll escort you.”
Yezi shakes her head. “No, it’s fine.” Being pissed by the sudden securing of protection she walks back the path to the house but stops midway with a nonstop chaotic mind and walks back towards the Officers. Jisung’s window is rolled back up while Jaemin has his head down within his padded jacket. He blends in so well with the car being black and everything he has on being black- including his hair.
“Officer,”
He peeks up again, and Yezi can see that under his eyes there’s faint marks. He looks tired. “What.” He doesn’t seem the least bit interested in what she has to say, all that he wants to do is sleep.
Yezi however pants in and out looking like a fish caught in water. “I… I want to keep it. I want to keep the baby that’s growing in me.” Yezi’s eyes water. “But I don’t want anyone to hate me for it.”
Jaemin can stare as his ears adjust to the words coming out of her mouth. “You… Did you just say you want to keep it?” How old is she? It’s probably the reason she’s even outside, maybe she wanted a clear head to think better. And if so, Jaemin had to stop her because he was the wrong person for this type of conversation. “Should I call your dad?”
“No-” Yezi shakes her head before hanging it down with trembling lips.
“Look, I’m only 23. I’m a male. And I’m not a part of your family, so you can’t just tell me all these things,” He’s 23, a male and an officer with no family as he was an orphaned boy. There’s nothing that he could say that would be of any assistance to this girl who’s 16…7 years younger than him. However, when she doesn’t move and her shoulders shudder, he grows uncomfortable in his padded jacket and inwardly cusses. He was always the worst when it came to giving some sort of relief. He turns his head to the car just in time seeing Jisung look away.
After a long silence, it takes Yezi blurting out a little cry does Jaemin breathe out his nose and licks his lips looking at her. Yezi tries to contain herself by remaining silent and sniffs back her tears (which made Jaemin feel tight in place) while wiping the back of her sleeve over her eyes. She doesn’t look up, but her body turns around and she begins walking away. It only takes a few steps before Jaemin’s voice comes out. “I can listen.” He speaks out. “If you want to… talk,”
If she came outside, it’s because she most likely had an argument with her family. And the last place she probably wants to go is inside.
That makes her stop in her tracks, and ever so slowly she peers up into Jaemin’s eyes. He looks nervous and almost worried. Nervous to the point that he even stands straighter and gets his hands out his padded jacket. “I don’t think I’ll be of any use,” He shrugs his shoulders scratching the back of his head. “But, I can listen,”
Yezi turns her body around in a slow manner, her eyes are slightly teary but upon gazing into his sincere eyes does she fully turn her body around to face him.
“So,” Jaemin clears his throat uneasily. “You want… to keep it?”
“Yeah,” Her voice is low and shaky. “Because for the first time after the accident, I saw a glimpse of light.” Her hands pressing onto each other as she slowly inhales and exhales looking up slightly to the stars that are a few in the night heavenly sky. “We were in the hospital with my mum and dad, and they did an ultrasound.” A gloomy look gets on her crestfallen face, but Jaemin’s eyes are on the watery glaze that coat her eyes making them crystal clear as if they’re twinkling. “On that screen I saw… this tiny little pea. That little pea in me was so small… and this was the darkest time in my life, but looking at that little dot on the screen I felt…hope. Strangely. I felt something come alive in me again. Like a light in a dark tunnel. And I remembered thinking that, I couldn’t protect myself, you know.” She sniffs and her hands gently cup her abdomen. “I fought and I really tried to stop him from, you know. I fought so hard and I tried. I tried but… there was nothing I could do. So looking at the screen, seeing that there was something moving in me, that this tiny ball was moving around as if it already had life… I knew that even if I couldn’t protect myself, I could protect that baby, because it’s my baby. It’s coming from inside of me, this little pea will somehow become something, will somehow bare it’s own life.”
Jaemin blinks slowly no expression on his face except an honest concern for the girl. “You want to keep the very thing that’s come from something so painful?”
“I don’t even like kids that much, but I don’t want to remove this baby in me. This doesn’t feel like the trauma of rape…but this is me protecting this baby,”
“Protecting it from what?” Jaemin whispers. “What’s your reason for keeping it?”
“It’s the fact that it’s a life-”
“It’s not a life,” Jaemin lowly inputs making Yezi shake her head.
“It’s in me Officer Na, I can feel that there’s something in me.” She breaths out. “Because it’s a product from something so painful… doesn’t give me any right to take away something as precious as life from it, that’s not even born. I… Do I really need a reason in order for me to keep it? Why do I need a reason that will be good enough for anyone to listen? This…” Yezi’s eyes flattering with tears make Jaemin alert in getting his back off the car and stepping forward to the girl. “What would make me any different from a person sitting in a prison cell because they murdered another person? Murdered another human being?”
“That doesn’t count,”
“The only difference is that taking an unborn baby’s life away is somehow legal. That’s not fair. Officer Suh didn’t deserve to be killed like that, but because he was gunned down by someone who intentionally wanted to kill him made that person a murderer. And I would be one too if I took away this baby’s life intentionally- other people can get rid of it if they want, but why is it wrong for me to want to keep it?”
“Hey,” Jaemin’s hesitant and alert when the tears won’t stop falling from her eyes. He carefully lays his hand on her shoulder and clears his throat. “Hey, don’t cry about it.”
“I just wanted some air, I just wanted a break. I don’t want my dad to take this little baby away from me,” Her tears don’t stop pouring out, resulting in Jaemin hesitantly stepping forward and wrapping his arms around the girl. He sighs quietly when she takes another step forward and wraps her arms around his torso crying out.
“It’s okay, just cry it out,” Jaemin finds himself soothing and consoling her. “Hopefully everything will be okay,” He mummers out.
But 3 months later…prior to what Jaemin said, everything was not okay. In fact, things kept falling apart.
Yezi lingers by the doorway of the house hearing the commotion erupting from inside the house, mostly likely Dae’s room. Chungdae who’s standing next to Yezi closes the door and sighs. They just came from another ultrasound from a private hospital and just after receiving good news from the doctor and a lovely sonogram picture of her beautiful looking baby, she walks into the chaos of her family. She thought that after the first month her family would be ‘normal’ again. But from her dad purposely ignoring her presence because of wanting to keep the baby, to Chungdae often being left in the middle of choosing her husband and step kid, to Chenle getting intense stress not only at work and with building the new house (which would be far away) but also from Dae’s excessively new lifestyle- Yezi can only see her family going down a spiraling hill of dismay.
The only thing that’s been uplifting or of any sort of good news, is the media outlets dying down and Yezi being able to continue her homeschooling with Doyoung without getting bombarded by some news crew. Another good thing that Yezi kept looking forward to is surprisingly her new ‘friendship’ with the Officer Na Jaemin. At this point, with her sister turning into somebody else, and Chungdae becoming more motherly towards her, the only person she would truly and freely chat to about everything falling apart and a way to clear her mind was Jaemin. For the most parts he only listened and barely looked like her cared, but Yezi knew better because he’d always be ready to listen to her, and Yezi found it caring that aside from getting Boba coffees for himself and Jisung, he’d also get for her as well (and sneak in some of her pregnancy cravings that Chungdae wouldn’t approve of).
But right now, it’s 5pm in the afternoon and already she can hear the back and forth arguments from her dad and Dae.
Lately, it’s become a habit of her dad and older sister fighting back and forth. Dae found refuge in going clubbing with her friends, getting wasted, getting drunk and coming back home dumb out of her mind, out of her senses. Dae, under the overwhelming pressure of everything; from dropping out of college and getting paid lessons online, to being forced to work with her dad, to getting intense nightmares about being sexually assaulted that night by Mark, to getting pressured from her friends to let loose and party with them- to Dae ultimately deciding that her life is nothing but one big joke.
Slowly, right before their eyes, Dae was becoming an addict to a lifestyle that was highly frowned upon in their family. The once head strong girl of the family was crumbling and numbing her senses to intoxicating alcohol….and worst of all drugs.
“For hell’s sake you’re not leaving the house dressed like a whore!”
“Don’t touch my stuff-”
“Dae- What’s this?”
“Dad I said don’t touch my stuff-”
“Where the hell did you get this?” Yezi slowly walks in the house watching Chungdae disappear behind some walls, probably going to try and calm down the situation. But from the sounds of it, Yezi can hear how her dad is slowly losing his temper.
“Give it back!” Dae yells and a few seconds later she hears Chungdae.
“Dae, what the hell is going on through your head? How could you-”
Yezi jumps a little when hearing a door slammed shut. Next thing a fazed and alert looking Dae stomps into the hallway with the most daring of outfits in the shortest black dress that hardly covers her exposed rare and yet has a spilt on both sides, paired together with fishnet stockings and clicking heels. Upon seeing Yezi, Dae’s enraged face that’s coated in hardcore makeup freezes into one of shame. Her eyes wither and she lightly puts down her skirt while a nervous smile coats her face as she walks to Yezi. “H-hey? You’re back,”
Yezi only has a sad smile on her face hugging her sister and smelling yet again the most nauseating smells of alcohol. “Hey,” She pips. “Are you going ou-”
“Oh what’s this.” Dae completely cuts off taking the picture out of Yezi’s hand and looking at the ultrasound. “Wow. It’s so big now.” Yezi’s eyes water a little while looking at her sister. Her hair which is curly to the extreme makes her look like a mess, her eyes are wide with joy but Yezi knows that her sister’s struggling and to make it worse she’s been losing weight like crazy. “Do they know it’s gender yet?”
Before Yezi can respond she hears heavy footsteps trudging down the stairs and Dae’s anger peeking out of her eyes before she stiffly mummers. “We’ll talk later.” Was a common phrase that she’d say regularly but she never held up to her word and they’d hardly talk.
And just like that Dae stomps away in her high heels, yanks the front door open and slams it just as Chenle in fury steps into the living room with several packets of white substances and needles. He pants and curses before going to the door and pulling it back and storming out.
“Cocaine,”
Yezi looks back when hearing Chungdae leaning by the hallway entrance.
“It was cocaine.”
And because this situation has become far too normal in their house, Yezi moves over to her mum and lays down the wall next to her and comforts her crying frame.
“What are we doing wrong?” Chungdae asks while sniffing in. “Our Dae,”
And so the days go by, with Chungdae and Yezi growing their bond through their mutual love and interest for the coming baby. Going to the hospital together, seeing the ultrasound in high-frequency and hearing sound waves of the baby’s heartbeat create in Yezi a desire to keep pushing despite the pain she feels in her heart of her family falling apart. Chenle in the house becomes scarce, just as much as Dae. While Dae publicly drinks and drowns away her life, Chenle shuts himself in private bars drinking during the night and working during the day. The house felt so lonely, and reminds Yezi of the first few days of how it was like when their mum left them. The house was void without a motherly touch until Chungdae came around. And up till now, Yezi without a doubt aspires to be the light that Chungdae is, smiling despite the pain and remaining strong for everyone.
Chungdae comforts Chenle whenever he lays in bed with her, she comforts Yezi in all times whenever Yezi calls, and she tries so desperately to be there for Dae- who has completely shut down. It’s hard to believe that Dae is her sister, she’s become unrecognizable in the family. It doesn’t help that slowly she started looking like a stranger, skinny form from all the intake of cocaine and alcohol, shaved eyebrows, dyed bleach blonde hair, cutting her hair so short, piercings and a slow growing tattoo kink all over her legs.
6 months later, still with their new house being built and them still living in the rental house Yezi thought their situation would’ve calmed down. However, it just got worse. One too many times she’s spotted Hendery leaving their house while scrambling to put on his clothes after having a steamy night and disrupting everyone from sleeping. She’d only do this whenever dad was not in the house- and if ever dad was in the house and he heard such, he’d be on full defense mode and barge into Dae’s room with repulsion. Of course this would erupt another fight from them with Dae leaving with Winwin, sometimes Yang Yang, but a lot of the times Hendery would be guilty at the scene- soon becoming Chenle’s worst human beings.
“And she keeps sleeping with them in the house. I feel bad that I can’t do anything to even help her out,” Yezi mutters while eating on a secret pack of chocolate balls that Jaemin bought. Jaemin, leaning against the car while watching Yezi (who is seated on the hood of his car) and dipping his fingers in the pack of chocolate balls while listening to her.
“Do you still speak to her?”
“It’s hard to,” Yezi responds. “She’s barely in the house, and when she’s in the house she’s occupied with some boy locked up in the room- but it’s only for a moment before mum or dad barge in and she storms out,”
“Damn,” Jaemin mutters. “Your parents must be the most stressed people in that house right now.” Jaemin acknowledges.
Despite not being on duty of being on night patrol, he’d always come for his weekly chats with Yezi. In some way, he ordained himself as her therapist. Maybe it’s because he wanted to simply be of help to the girl, but in some distorted way…he enjoyed having a ‘friend’ in Yezi. It was odd calling their late night talks as some sort of stress relieve, but Jaemin felt that there was no other way to describe his new found friendship with her. He didn’t have any friends aside from Jisung, but yet when it came to Yezi he found it easy to be around her and just not try to force anything. All he had to do was listen, and she’d do the rest. It became interesting when she’d do the same for him and allow herself to listen to all he had to say.
“Speaking of which, any progress with your dad?” Jaemin asks.
“It’s been months since I last spoke to him. It feels even awkward being in the same space as him. Even if there is an issue between us, I still believe that as a healthy parent he’ll discuss the problem openly with me. Silence is not a solution, but it somehow sums up my relationship with him now.” Yezi mutters and shrugs her shoulders. “He doesn’t even look at me,”
“I’m sorry about that,” Jaemin says sincerely.
“Mum says I should just give him time, that he’ll come around. But I doubt it. Whereby I would talk to him day and night, all we do now is say good morning and good night, at times we go a full day without even greeting each other.” Yezi sighs and puts her hand on her stomach, which was a healthy looking bump after 6 months. “I’m just afraid that the day I give birth to my child, my dad will- oh my god.” Yezi’s eyes grow in brightness her hand quickly pressing and feeling onto her stomach. “Officer Na-”
Jaemin is alarmed and panicked by the smile on her face. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
“Feel it,” Yezi’s mouth is left agape as the wondrous joy surrounds her. Jaemin doesn’t even need to put his hand on her belly to know that it’s kicking. The way her stomach flamboyantly moves creates a smile to grow on his face. “Feel it,” Yezi urges as her mouth grows wider in joy. “Oh my god, look,”
Jaemin is hesitant when lifting his hand since he sees that even the layer of the shirt is moving up and down from the bumps on her stomach. She’s not even focused on him, but Jaemin’s smile is radiant when seeing how happy she is. The only times he’s seen her happy was whenever they’d talk about the baby- and seeing how her face lights up makes him drawn to her smile.
“Look, look, look,” She presses her shirt down so that her bump is revealed more and so that Jaemin can see how flamboyantly the belly bulges are- the baby kicking or punching and being free with the belly of it’s soon to be mother.
“Wow,” Jaemin chuckles. “That’s a boy right?”
“I don’t know yet,” Yezi smiles and looks up to Jaemin. “Feel it,”
Jaemin lifts his hand up to her stomach and wonders where he should put it on, but then Yezi points to a spot and Jaemin gently lays his hand down. He doesn’t press or remove his hand when in a flash where his hand is that’s where he feels several bulges popping out- beating him. “My fucking soul- Doesn’t that hurt?” Jaemin is startled in shock but laughs nervously when Yezi starts laughing.
Chenle, from his room on the second floor carefully looks out the window when hearing his child laugh. He felt the most pain in him for neglecting his children. Lately, he’s fallen on his path of drinking more wine than he should. He couldn’t help it. He had two daughters who were out of his reach now, and there was nothing he could do to bring them back to him. And just like now, he can only stand and watch from afar how one laughs, while the other is nowhere to be seen but is for sure having a good time.
“Hey,” Chenle doesn’t shift his eyes off of Yezi’s smile. Even when Chungdae wraps her arms around his waist and lays her head on his shoulder. “You know it’s not too late to reconcile with her,”
Chenle sighs and closes his eyes and leans on the window frame as he lifts his arm around Chungdae’s shoulders. “I don’t think she’d want to reconcile with me,”
“What are you talking about honey, you know she’d love to talk to you,” Chungdae whispers while looking up to Chenle. “It’s all she ever talks about. About if you’ll ever forgive her,”
Despite Chenle respecting Yezi’s decision by not interfering in a forceful manner, he believed that silence between them is the only way.
“You know if she was somehow pregnant with someone she knows and wanted to keep the child at this age, I wouldn’t be as hard, but this… It’s an omen. A bastard’s child.” Chenle whispers only for Chungdae to lay her head on his shoulder.
“I know, but a child isn’t an omen,”
Chenle shakes its’ head. “Forget what the media is saying, that bastard child will grow up and will look just like the person who raped her. How do you think the child will feel knowing it’s a product of rape?”
“How do you think the child will feel in a house that’s unwelcoming?”
“It doesn’t belong here,” Chenle whispers. “It’s difficult to wrap my head around her wanting to give birth to that damned child.” He mutters and opens his eyes looking outside again. When he hears another loud laugh from her and the Officer Na rapidly removing his hands and flapping them, a meek smile grows on Chenle’s lips as he whispers. “When she was still in the womb, she’d kick like crazy. It terrified the shit out of me,”
“She needs you the most right now honey,” Chungdae whispers back before turning her gaze outside.
“And I need my daughter back too, but it’s clear she’s not coming back,” Chenle mummers. “That girl right there is going to be a mother to a bastard child, and I don’t think I want to be a part of that life.”
And so it is. The 9th month mark hitting on the calendar alerting Yezi to being ready for any day that her surprise child would come out. She’s saddened that both her dad and Dae are nowhere near her during those days. The new year passes and days progress with Yezi, barely being able to walk with her stomach on full display of the big pregnancy she has. While being small- despite the little weight she gained, she still looked so young and to think she’d bring in life to the world encouraged her to carry on.
February comes along with Yezi getting nervous that she’s not going into labor even when the month is close to ending. Already being worried and terrified, even when sitting on top of Jaemin’s car and expressing her worry- she’s not expectant at all when feeling wet and water dripping from her uterus. “Jaemin?” She nervously calls while having her eyes wide open.
“What? What’s wrong? Yezi, calm down,” Jaemin doesn’t know what’s going on when her face is drained of blood, but when she struggles to get off the car and holds unto the bottom of her stomach- looking shitless scared Jaemin takes a wild guess to know; “Don’t tell me it’s time now? Is it time?”
Yezi can’t speak or produce coherent words when she squeezes her legs together and bends trying to hold under her belly trying to maintain the weight that feels like it’s going to fall out. “Mum! Jaemin call mum! Mum! Oh mu god! Oh my god! Mum it’s coming out!” She implores when the pain kicks in her stomach.
With Chenle not being in the house and Chungdae not knowing how to drive, is panicked when hearing Yezi crying out for her life. Jaemin thankfully is alert and eager to assist when taking both Chungdae and Yezi in his car driving them. Yezi is on the verge- panting and moaning in pain in sweats and looks like any time soon she’ll faint. Chungdae is panicked and in heats of trying to calm down while also telling Yezi to breath and relax. Thankfully even despite the roads being hectic, Jaemin uses his siren and police advantage to cut the stop signs and traffic lights trying to get as fast as he can to any hospital nearby as the one they retained to was too far. It’s close, with Yezi almost collapsing in the backseat does Jaemin eventually get to a hospital carrying Yezi and lunging to the doors.
Triumphantly, the nurses don’t give them any problems and instantly assist when seeing the blood staining her pants and Yezi crying out for her dear life. Chungdae is inside the hospital room with Yezi, while Jaemin is outside reminiscing on such an experience. He’s never felt as heavy weighted as he did and hearing as well as seeing Yezi succumb to pain terrified him.
Jaemin is awakened by a jolly nurse who comes out with all smiles. “It’s a girl.”
Yezi, at 1 a.m. on a Sunday morning of late February, almost having driven herself to the brink of death when assertively pushing out of her tiny body- weighing 5 pounds and 8 ounces (2,500 grams) a beautiful miniature and petite baby girl.
Yezi is in heaps of sweat, her legs shaking in pain and uterus throbbing yet a gleeful and prideful smile lights up her entire face even when she cries after holding onto the little baby girl in her arms. She can’t stop crying for the reasons of both joy and sadness. The little, healthy, bundle of radiance in the baby girl shines so bright and takes away her family not being present. Yezi can’t believe her eyes. A tiny little thing with eyes pressed close and body rigid yet having it’s arms out and gripping onto her hair only overwhelms her, and the joy spreading all over her makes her cry blissfully.
“My baby.” Yezi whispers upon kissing the top of the fragile little head of the baby girl. “Oh my god she’s so tiny. I’m gonna protect you okay, mummy’s gonna protect you and you’re safe now okay? My beautiful baby girl, my baby,” Yezi cries holding tightly onto the baby- and even in return as the nurses gently try to take her away to clean her up- do her tiny little fingers grip onto Yezi’s hair crying when they try to pull her away. The scene is surreal and makes Yezi cry even more.
No amount of happiness that Yezi has ever felt in her life can ever top this moment of paradise and bliss.
“Everything went well,” Chungdae smiles with tears running down her face, while watching the nurses take care of the baby and the doctors closing Yezi’s uterus. “It’s a baby girl,”
Chenle despite not being present still feels in his heart pain for the departure of his daughter upon the new arrival of her daughter. “I’m happy they weren’t any complications,” But despite it all, he still smiles when Chungdae speaks so highly and positive of the baby.
While Chungdae chats with Chenle in a peaceful manner she laughs when watching the nurses change and hand the baby to Jaemin who’s panicked at how Yezi passes out with a smile on her face.
Meanwhile, downtown (2 a.m.) in a local club that’s drowning its customers with music, Dae grinds her body friskily all over Hendery’s toned body blurring out the world around her. The music is loud, the music is bold with slurs and ideologies scowled upon, but that doesn’t stop the others or Dae or Hendery from drunkenly dancing and dry humping on each other singing and cursing along to the songs. It’s when she heavily starts making out with Hendery does she heavily feel the weight and strong sense of someone staring at her- even as she’s drunk she can’t shake that feeling off. Ever since she walked in partly sober, all the way till she heavily inducted herself in the drinks and stashed drugs Hendery had- did she feel as though she was being watched.
Not paying mind to it, her and Hendery take it over to the co-ed bathroom having a rash and messy quickie with both of them barely conscious of their actions. Dae is sloppy when sucking off Hendery and Hendery is lacking when it comes to thrusting with power- but they’re both so high that they barely care and yet still cum to the thoughts of sexual pleasure and having a good time. They’re drunk and high out of their mind when returning back to the dance floor to have another go at wasting their lives away.
Jeno, being sober and cleaning on the counter after the spilt drinks of the dozens of intoxicated bodies, finds it hard to believe that the girl he’s looking at is the same girl he had a crush on. As time goes by, his eyes are only hooked to her in uneasiness and at times even revulsion as she’s not in her right senses and doing things that he’d never thought she’d do. From grinding with one too many men, to making out with anyone that puts their lips on her, to some point even groping and gripping on her like a ragdoll- Jeno can only watch in shock that this lady with short bleached out blonde hair, bright red bra and tight exotically short red leather skirt, dancing her life away is supposedly the same person that he saw in court 1 year ago.
Back then she had a strong persona, charismatic eyes, bountiful personality and good physics coated in her rich glory. The lady he knew had strangers looking at her all the time because of her rich lavish life, as well as good healthy appearance as people wanted to be her, as well as wanted to be friends with her. The same lady he knew made him see rich people in a different light, a light of being beautiful yet so self-absorbed and selfish. However, upon looking at the dance floor at 3 am, seeing a skinny deranged lady dancing like a drug addict commoner makes him worriedly curious about what happened.
There’s no way this was that same girl, there’s no way this unhealthy looking skimpy dancer is Dae. There’s just no way.
He was just in prison for 12 months, yet upon coming out and managing to get a job as a cleaner in a bar- he’s shocked out of his mind at how much a year can change a person. He only started working some days ago, but the moment his eyes landed on Dae and he began seeing her every single night at the club.
And for 2 weeks of Dae not being in the house, and Yezi being discharged and being the happiest she can be when being around her child, no one can take away her joy- not Dae’s messy life, not her father’s absence and lack of response to her- nothing can take the smile off her face. Even when her own baby cries.
“Areum you’ve got the most gorgeous smile, I have ever seen in my entire life, so tell me why, why are you crying so much? Is it because you don’t like your nappy being changed?” Yezi playfully plays with her child while changing the pampers and applying the medicine on her baby’s umbilical cord. Despite the baby girl, Areum crying, Yezi still coo’s cutely and playfully plays with her child while hurriedly changing her and giving her new pampers.
Chenle, who can’t stand the wails, goes into his room where Chungdae is ironing the baby’s clothes. “The baby’s crying.” He proclaims in irritation.
“Be a grandfather and help your daughter,” Chungdae sneakily answers with a mischievous smile. “Come on honey, there’s a first time for everything.”
Chenle despondently rolls his eyes and walks out the room going to the living room continuing to watch the news informatics while he works. He puts the volume louder blocking out the sounds of the whining crying child. In the room, Chungdae can only chuckle as she finishes ironing and walks back to Yezi’s room and coo’s. “Oh oh oh oh oh, why is my Areum crying? Why is my beauty beauty little girl crying huh? Does she want to be warm? Does she want to be warm?”
Truly speaking, this child, Areum brought a wide smile to her face. There’s a first time for everything, and helping Yezi look after her child felt like such a huge privilege for her. She never had this opportunity of caressing and even holding onto a baby- but yet Yezi gave her that integrity and honor of being there as a mother to her child. Chungdae more than anything loved the idea of having children, but when she found out that she was unable to, it crushed her. But now, being a premature grandmother gave her a glimpse into the life of what it’s like having a child. And she so badly wanted to have this experience with Chenle. Which is why when Yezi nervously questions, “Is he mad?”
Her answer is always. “Leave him, he’ll come around sooner or later. He can’t be too angry at our little Areum, hm,” Chungdae brushes her face on the little baby’s belly causing the dressed baby girl to squirm in delight and joy. “Look at that smile, look at that smile, my baby, my little Areum,”
Chenle shakes his head when for a spilt second the silence that consumes the living room from the pause break on tv, Chenle hears both the ladies dumbing down their intellect to speak in foreign baby voices and act cute.
Having the full support of her mother, Yezi is at peace when living her life around the house. Not only does she feel the weight and responsibility of being a mother, but she gracefully embodies and embraces a whole set of accountabilities. When waking up next to her baby, she’s always reminded of how she so badly wants to change her life and make sure that she’s a good, fit, role model and mother for her child. It pushes her to study to the best of her ability. She wasn’t born with a smart brain, but she has been applying herself and trying. And in the same way the nurses cared for her during her whole stay at the hospital, she also wanted to be a nurse who’d help people.
It seemed laughable at first, but when talking with Doyoung (her tutor) and he encouraged her to pursue her growing passion- her life seemed to be heading in a tremendously great path. Every day her face glowed brighter because of her Areum who would always look at her with the most caring of smiles. Her smile reminded her so much of Dae. Although it was annoying at times to see a smile on Dae’s fac, Yezi can now see how much a smile (a genuine) smile costs. Seeing Areum smile, is equivalent to seeing Dae smile. But despite missing her big sister, seeing her little baby girl always made Yezi remember how she wanted to protect her child from any bad omen projecting in this world.
And that means not even letting her drunk and high older sister near her child.
“Why won’t you let me see her?” Dae asks. With big gleaming and jittery eyes, as well as bad breath and coughing consistently, tragedy is all over her, and she’s shaky and has a nervous stance while scratching on her arm- this always alarms Yezi. Her sister was no longer the same. The mere fact that she looks like she’s on drugs doesn’t even sit well with Yezi or even convince her to allow her sister to be anywhere near her child.
Dae, for the worst, turned into the lifestyle that she hated, she smokes weed, sniffs on cocaine, injects heroin in her system on most days, drinks on heavy substances and looks like a completely different person especially with her no eyebrows and that god awful ugly bleached blonde and damaged short hairstyle. This wasn’t her loving sister anymore- this was a corpse living in her sister’s body. And there’s no way she’d allow for a skeleton with no soul to see her baby.
“She’s sleeping and I don’t want to wake her up,” Creating excuses and avoiding her sister has become such a huge burden for Yezi. All she wanted was for her sister to come back, but in this state of drowsiness and confusion only scares her that her sister will never get back.
Everything about her moved differently, her brain started working inversely, even her words weren’t giving life but breaking down and slowing down her speech, her posture was altered, her eye contact was unalike and her lips were always dry, even when she’d lick them they’d always turn white and cracked rapidly. It’s like her sister was morphing into something else, and sadly it wasn’t even a transitional phase, it was a reality that Dae couldn’t escape and Yezi’s heart was in pain seeing her sister like this, every day, without even knowing what she could do.
“Stop lying!” Dae yells and alarms Yezi. “You’re ashamed of me and don’t want me near your fucking child! Who cares anyway, she’s nothing but a pathetic resemblance of the fucker who raped you! You bitch. You dumb fuck always refusing me to see that fucker-” Yezi holds her ground when watching her sister break down all types of slurs. She turns around when hearing her baby crying in the room and ignores Dae shutting the door in her face just as Dae barks louder and emits all types of curses. “She’s also a huge fuck. She’s gonna rob houses, take advantage of people, she’s gonna hate- just like I hate you-”
“Dae? No, stop it.” Chenle holds onto Dae, but Dae thrusts her arms off her father and pushes him back.
“Everyone in this house should just fucking die already! You’re all looking at me like I’m a mess? No, I’m not- you all are!” Dae chuckles, but it’s so sad for Chenle to witness it all happen right before his eyes. “So what if I’m a mess- you all are fucking caged to this fucked up life! Fuck you all!”
Dae shuts her room door still slurring out. Chenle shakes his head, and turns to Yezi’s door. He carefully knocks on it and moments later, Yezi opens it up cautiously, but when seeing her dad she opens the door a little bit wider. “Are you okay?”
Yezi nods her head gulping down a little lump. Chenle nods his head looking in the room towards the bed where the child was, and after looking at her for a bit he nods his head again and walks off.
Not a minute later, Dae opens up her room door and throws middle fingers to both Chenle and Yezi. “Fuck you guys.” Before running out the house in the shortest black mini skirt and nothing on but a leopard bra.
However, Dae, much to her own disliking, feels as though she’s hit rock bottom and is far from any sort of compassion and saving. She’s empty when falling into a darker pit of shame and misfortune night by night. And being out of the house every night only to travel into self-destruction seemed like her only remedy.
With no arms at savings rich, and no family to care for her, Dae cries alone while consuming the drugs and dances every night alone or either with friends, but mostly alone hoping that she’ll just die. Even though the pattern continues every day, the will to die grows the strongest in her.
Her prayer is answered when one night she gets to the club and begins dancing her life away before getting into a petty fight with Hendery (on who gets the bill), to storming out the club in a wobbly unsteady dizzy mess only to be hit with her whole lanky body flying up and knocked off her feet straight into the pavement ground with such crude force, rendering her knocked out and unconscious, almost like death.
They always say that the few seconds of death, you’ll get a 7 second flashback of your entire life flashing before your eyes. Dae is convinced its death because within the seconds of her death she sees a face… a face of a memory she tried so hard to forget by taking in deadly drugs. Gauging down her throat his heavy loaded dick, Mark made Dae feel numb to everything that night, even while she heard her sister crying and yelling when Donghyuck was raping her, Dae can remember Mark cumming in her mouth and she felt so worthless and like a failure for her whole family-
Despite her mind in pure intoxication and dejection, Jeno from the club rushes out to the scene when seeing the car drive away after it swept Dae and knocked her off her feet and brutally against the floor. Jeno as he’s running to Dae on the floor, gets a flash memory of how he recalled seeing her the same way in her room. Despite being a rich girl, she seems to be caught in these situations of being lost and broken.
Instantly he cradles her up and looks left and right to see who can help, but there’s no one in sight or on the street or sidewalk- just the club full of ignorant dancing fools who ignore her and him outside. She’s breathing slowly, her face covered in blood pouring from her head, her eyes shut and body trembling rigidly. He pats her cheek lightly. “Dae? Dae? Come on, come on,” He begs before cursing when feeling her bleeding from her sides and he gets up on his feet with her weak body. He puts her on his back and makes sure her hands are around his neck while his arms are over her legs as he begins running as fast as he can.
Dae doesn’t even hear a thing when feeling the wind blow past her face- looking into Jeno’s side, her vision is blurry and all she can see is death. She hiccups but to Jeno that’s assurance that she’s alive and not dying.
“Stay with me Dae, just a little bit longer.”
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Chenle can’t explain the discontent he’s been feeling with his new reality of life. In a normal life, he’s with his wife and two daughters who go to school, come home, talk about their future, ask him to buy things for them, eat all that they can eat, talk to him and ask for advice or even life lessons. In his dream he’s even gone as far to marrying them off to good men who have wealthy families and he knows that their generation will be able to sustain his wealth and inheritance. He even used to envision his grandchildren and how they’d be and how happy he’d be when dying of old age surrounded by his perfect family.
Yet in some distorted way, Chenle wakes up every day to his real reality being everything he loathes. Falling behind on work, being slow to building their new home because his mind is constantly wrapped around his daughters and all the chaotic decisions they’ve been making.
First it was Yezi and her bastard child, now it’s Dae and her spiraling life going into flames. Truly as a parent, he tried everything that he could to at least even get her to talk to him. Because that was always the first step into redemption; talking. But talking to Dae was impossible. His daughter had shut down in the worst way possible, and he didn’t know what to do.
The longest that Dae has stayed away from home was 4 days, but with a turn of events the longest that she’s stayed away from home is 2 weeks.
“Where could she be?” Chenle grows particularly concerned and troubled. He tries calling, texting but to his disappointment she doesn’t answer her phone or text back, it hardly gets to ‘seen’ and all calls go to voicemail. Chungdae tries calling, Yezi tries calling and emailing but still no answer. They call on her friends, especially Yang Yang, Winwin and Hendery who last claim that the last time they saw her she was in the club.
Before Chenle could take it a step further into filing and reporting her as a missing person, he felt bad as a parent and wondered where he went wrong. It came in an email, of Dae announcing her departure from his life. She made reference to how she didn’t want to carry on the family business, how she hated living her life like nothing happened especially after the aftermath of the accident. But what broke Chenle’s heart the most, was how she begged for him not to look for her or reach out to her, that she didn’t want him as a part of her life anymore, that she wanted to cut all ties with family and go her separate way.
The fact that this was a personalized email only sent to him and not her mother or sister, made Chenle believe that he was at fault for Dae coming to this decision. He didn’t even know where she was.
All he knows is that two months have passed and he hasn’t heard a word from her. If this is what she wanted to pursue then he didn’t want to hold her back.
That’s what he thought, but to Chungdae seeing her husband deteriorate and morph into a gloomy glum man made her miss the fluffy, peculiar, mischievous man she married. There was no light in her husband anymore. He just went to work, came home, ate in his study and fell asleep and repeated the same things everyday but like a droned out machine with no means of survival. Even when finally moving into their enlarged mansion and away from the rental home, he seemed the most distant.
The move in took about a week to settle in as the women were pampering around the house making it more suitable to their liking while at the same time modernizing it to their taste. Despite its beauty on the outside as well as inside, the house was very lonely for Chenle and he hated spending time with his family. And that was because of how they drifted apart. Chungdae and Yezi loved the baby, and Chenle didn’t.
That’s until 4 months later. He gets an off day and decides to spend it at home instead of the office. As predicted Yezi’s with her baby and Chungdae nearby Yezi. Chenle has the first layer living room all to himself and catches up on the latest informatics, however he gets up from his seat deciding to get his laptop and wor while watching the news. It’s on his way walking through the wide hallway does he get to the staircase and sees a little body bag on the floor dressed of a crocodile onesie.
It’s Yezi’s child. She’s on the top of the staircase, seemingly getting her way down by crawling on each step carefully. Chenle, like usual whenever seeing her, pays her no mind and climbs up the long flight of stairs and ignores her getting into his study room and getting his light weighing laptop as well as gadget bag before going back down the stairs. Expecting to see her still at the same spot his heart jumps out of his chest when seeing her on the last few steps but somehow tumbles and rolls down the remaining steps before smacking her head on the tiled ground.
“Shit-” He rushes down the steps and looks at the little girl who’s flat on the floor. He gets near her and gets stunned when she’s kissing the floor. Upon seeing him, she laughs joyously and crawls to sit up on the floor. He sighs in frustration. “Honey! Come get the baby.”
He walks past her and heads outside the backyard porch. He takes a seat on the veranda table with which had a serene view of his large backyard. Sometimes the thought of being rich made him feel better about his problems, as long as he had money he was okay to provide for himself any vacation he needed. With his iPad channeled to the news, while his laptop focused on the project and the tablet on notepad mode, upon seeing nature and the sky Chenle’s able to work effortlessly and soundly with no disruptions.
But he speaks too soon because Areum (being somewhat around 8 months) creeps her way outside on the wooden floor before scrambling out on the grass. Chenle has his eyes on the screen but yet after spotting her he exhales in annoyance. “Honey!” He yells out hoping that she can come and take this baby back inside. “Reckless.” He hadn’t set any barricades for the baby because the baby was always with Yezi, so he didn’t feel the need to secure any areas in the house.
And because of not securing the baby crawls on the grass outside of the shade and explores around. She’s a walking and falling mess- but with a joyous and jolly laugh, whenever she falls down she gets back up and carries on walking. In her onesie she’s playing on the floor by laying down, scampering around, attempting to stand up- she’s like a dog and it doesn’t help when Chenle notices Daegal too surrounding the baby and playing with her.
Her loud squeal in pain causes him to snap his head away from the screen and to her. She wails out after stomping with her hand on the sprinklers and the water splashes on her, and Daegal joins in barking at the sprinklers when it starts spluttering out water. Chenle tsks and ignores her crying, placing his air pods on focusing on his work. That wasn’t his problem… but at the same time he can’t help but be cautious of her moves. “Chungdae!” He yells out.
With no success in getting Chungdae to come and get the baby, Chenle continues with work and ignores the child almost entirely. It’s not until she finds her way back in his line of vision under the shade and sitting down on the wooden floor playing with things, assembly Daegal’s toys does he sigh out. He doesn’t care about her, he only cares that the baby was disturbing his peace and has somehow been set free to move around the house. Where’s Yezi? Where’s Chungdae?
Meanwhile Areum in her own world attempts to stand and walks a few steps only to tumble on the ground in her onesies, what catches his eyes is that every time she’d fall there would be a smile on her face, and unknowingly a smile would also be on his face for a spilt second. He tries as best as he can to overlook the little baby girl, but she makes it so hard, when slowly but surely she moves closer to him.
The next to time he looks away from the screen, she’s standing by leaning on the table bouncing to inaudible music. Upon getting his attention, Areum smiles and moves by hurriedly walking to the chair where he’s sitting and leans on his leg.
“No, no.” Chenle scolds. “Don’t touch me.” Chenle shoves her hands off his thighs.
Areum can only sit on the ground while looking up to the older man with wonder in her eyes. Her eyes that are just so precious and almost melt Chenle’s heart, but his quick in shifting away. In shifting away she only gets closer to him before yawning and rubbing on her eye in a messy state.
She gets back up and holds onto his thigh while minding her own business and playing with Daegal’s toy. Chenle tries not to shove her away, afraid he’ll hurt her but at the same time his eyes constantly move to her wondering if she’s okay.
She’s banging the toy on his thigh and making gurgling sounds while playing with herself, leaving Chenle to simply work and not mind her.
However, after some time, she grows quiet, and still while balancing on Chenle, she slides down his leg and leans her head on his leg. Chenle notices this and tentatively shakes his leg. “Hey,”
Areum looks up, her eyes blinking and wipes on them before making herself comfortable again on his leg. He leans back on his seat after a certain time and looks at her. Her posture looks bent and surely uncomfortable but it doesn’t stop her from sleeping. It’s when her neck starts wobbling and craning does he find his arms stretching down and his hands carrying and lifting her fazed sleepy state.
“You’re heavy,” He mummers before she hurriedly fixes herself comfortably in his hands by laying her body on his chest and her head against the croak of his neck. Chenle is stiff for a minute, and snaps out of it when feeling his dog by his foot. Looking down he sees Daegal wrapping herself in a ball and making herself comfortable. Chenle leans back on his seat and gently rests his hand on the baby’s back, the other arm holding her in place.
He soon finds himself dozing off after listening to the commentary with ear pods in his ear and his vision blurring while he succumbs to the sleep.
“Mum? I can’t find Areum anywhere,” Yezi looks panicked when waking up her mum. Chungdae blinks in haziness but after hearing Yezi’s concern she’s up on her feet.
“She was sleeping with me,”
“Well where is she?” Yezi in heaps of fright dashes out the room and continues to search all over the house, calling her name. She even gets upset that the house is so big. The only place she ever spent time with Areum was on the second floor where her room was- but after searching the entire second floor her heart is in frantic panic when looking all over. “Areum?”
In seeing Daegal stretching by the outside porch door and entering the house- Yezi scampers towards the door being breathless hoping to see her child. But her eyes are too stunned to move when she takes in the sight right before her. Right underneath the shade of the veranda, she sees her dad carrying her baby. The sight itself is wholesome with her dad’s eyes closed and embracing her child in such a manner of protecting her. Her heart fills up with an overwhelming longing. Seeing this sight only enlightens her.
Despite having non-verbal communications with her dad, Yezi had a slight assurance that her father still cared about her every time he paid for her private lessons with the tutor, every time he gave Chungdae money to give her, or even the little moments when he’d stoke up on her favorite foods whenever they’d run out. Despite not talking, Yezi knew that her dad still cared for her. And seeing this sight of him holding her child, gives her some sort of hope. Ever since Areum was born, Chenle never ever held her and refused to do so even in private when Chungdae would ask for help.
But now seeing how comfortable her baby is sleeping on her dad makes her smile. Deciding not to interrupt them, she moves back in the house and informs Chungdae that Areum is safe. After an hour or so, Chenle is awakened when Chungdae lightly tries to get Areum off his sleeping figure. He finds himself holding tighter onto the little girl, but eventually slowly let’s go, nodding his head when Chungdae states that her nappy is full. However, much to Areum’s distaste and drowsy state- refuses to let go of Chenle and holds tighter even whimpering out for the touch of the man who rarely holds her.
“What do you wanna do again?” Chenle asks, while removing his earphone and seemingly looks a little more awake then before. Especially when noticing that the child doesn’t want to let go of him.
“I want to change her diaper, it’s full and she’s gonna get rash,” Chungdae tries again to pull Areum off and Chenle gently tries to stretch her towards his wife, but Areum cries only resulting in Chenle holding onto her again.
“Okay, okay, it’s okay, let’s go,” Chungdae is surprised when seeing Chenle stands up with the child and they both embark inside the house going up the stairs. All this while Chenle holds onto an awake yet sleepy Areum and pats her back lightly. “Where’s Yezi?”
“Studying in her room, we can just go to our room,”
Chenle nods his head and upon getting to their room, he carefully lays Areum down while assuring the little wailing baby of his presence by playing with her hand while Chungdae begins removing her clothes and changing her. Her whimpers die down when Chenle holds onto her hand and playfully tells her it’s okay. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s just a nappy change,”
Chungdae hurries on to changing and cleaning the baby, but at the same time she pays attention to how Areum watches Chenle in awe and silences down whilst smiling and being entertained by him. When she’s done and dresses Areum in another onesie, Areum being tired yet awake and seemingly just staring at Chenle warms Chungdae’s heart.
“What’s wrong with her?” Chenle gently asks while lying on the bed and looking into the young baby’s black eyes. “She’s tired but she doesn’t want to sleep,” Chenle whispers.
“She can’t stop looking at you, at her grandfather,” Chungdae whispers back.
Despite Chenle not liking that word especially used for this child… his heart can’t help when he sees just how much curiosity is in the little girls’ eyes. “Sleep,” he smiles lightly when her features get into a drowsy sleep but her eyes are quick to open to make sure that Chenle is still in front of her. “You won’t miss anything. I’ll still be here. Sleep okay,” Chenle adjusts his posture on the bed to be at the same level as her while he also makes himself comfortable. Soon enough, after much ogling Areum falls asleep.
In Chungdae’s head, the little girl just wanted to take in this special moment of her bonding with her grandfather and didn’t want to miss out on seeing his face close to hers.
And for a few more days, although its scarce to see Chenle with Areum, Areum feels a tad bit comfortable in always approaching him. Whether by running to him whenever her mum would chase her and tell her it’s time to bath, or even by following Chenle around once she’s spotted him. In all honesty, at first it was annoying for Chenle to be followed by the miniature creature bastard child. However, he got used to her petite figure and he’d always be cautious of her movements. Chenle purposely acknowledges her and on other days it seems like he’s almost waiting for his chance to pick her up. And always waits for the signaling. It can be Chungdae asking for help with the little girl, and Chenle simply carries her and holds her while Chungdae works. Other times it’s when he gets back from work and already sees the baby crawling on the floor but when seeing him she attempts to stand and scampers in his direction.
Yezi only having seen the sight once, is surprised when one day, a Saturday, her dad is at home instead of being at work. And it so happens that when Chungdae leaves the house to go to the market, Areum won’t stop crying while Yezi is studying.
“Areum, please stop crying.” Yezi slightly raises her voice being upset. She stands up and bobs on Areum while holding her notebook in the other hand and tries to study, but Areum carries on crying. “Areum!”
That only makes Areum wail out more even going as far as hitting her mum wanting to get down.
“Areum what do you want!? I just wanna study-”
“Hey, hey, hey.” Chenle opens up the door stepping into the room cautiously. “What’s wrong?” He asks while struggling to hear through Areum’s screeches.
“I just wanna study but Areum keeps crying, I gave her milk and food, gave her bath but she won’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do and mum isn’t here-” Yezi herself also looks like she’s on the verge of crying, both from stress of the exam as well as her crying baby. She’s so overwhelmed by her emotions that when her dad offers to watch over Areum, she agrees without a second thought and continues studying while her dad shuts the door and disappears with Areum. It’s only when she’s calmed down and easily studies does she realise that her dad actually spoke to her in a somewhat decent conversation and even offered to take Areum.
Her heart, for a second, seems like it stops beating because of the shock that just happened. Carefully, no longer being interested in studying and wants to see with her own eyes, she walks out her room and tries to spot her dad with her child. She moves all over the house and even outside, but when she doesn’t see her dad, she panics and before she can even call out to them both- she’s surprised when seeing Chungdae block her mouth looking ecstatically pleased and happy. Gently pulling Yezi to the kitchen, they’re both caught in a trans of watching Chenle and the baby.
Chenle is holding on Areum on one side of his hip while holding a piece of a pineapple on a fork. He nibbles only a little and then moves the fork towards Areum. Areum sucks on the fruit and backs away with a sour look on her face just as Chenle moves the fork back silently laughing at her reaction. However, when Areum pounces on and eagerly tries to grab the fork from Chenle’s other hand with extreme force.
And it seems that it’s through that one little moment that a serene feeling of joy passes through the house for everyone. It’s through Areum that somehow the sense of ‘family’ began making sense again. As days pass, it seems like all the family wants to do is build their life and remain connected and not look back anymore. They each continue to strive in building a better life for themselves, Chungdae as the joy of the house continues to encourage as well as bring the family together, Yezi as a persistent graduate embarks on a journey of making her dad proud as well as herself and her baby, Chenle rightfully taking the head in making sure that this time his family is safe and that nothing can hurt them. At the same time, Areum grows in the love and embrace of all her family.
And Areum’s first word much to all their surprise is “Gwanpa”. Chenle never knew the excitement he’d feel when hearing the form of words leave the little girl’s mouth, his little bean. And hearing the word from her mouth, makes him wish that his whole family be together and that he’s willing to reconcile with Dae. No matter what. Which is why, when he sends her an email years later, he’s heart is open to accept whatever the outcome is- but he mostly leans onto the best. He hopes that his daughter Dae, will come back to him.
Especially since she approves his email and accepts his invitation, asking if she can come with her boyfriend who’s helped her get back into shape. Chenle at first is surprised with joy to hear from his daughter, but his surprise turns to stun when he learns who she’s been dating and spending time with for the past years. But all in all, he figures that it’s time to let bygones be bygones, especially within their 5th year, a parole letter from the court comes in and asks whether or not they’ll accept Donghyuck’s appeal for parole.
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Chungdae asks while sitting next to her husband on their bed late at night, as they stare at the email together.
Chenle inhales in deeply, re-reading his email before nodding his head. “We’ve moved passed the past and all I want to do is move on. I’m sure from his appeal he won’t be a bother to us. And I sure as hell don’t want to receive emails about them anymore. Granting his parole as well as accepting never to receive emails like this again, will allow our family to finally have the peace we’ve been seeking for. Nothing bad will happen,”
Once Chenle sends in the email, the receivers are prompt to already writing up Donghyuck’s release paper’s and setting up for him to leave within a 5-day notice.
S2:EP7-14
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[5 days later: Thursday 9h30 a.m.]
Donghyuck is up and refreshed before anyone else in his cell. His eyes are trained on the barred windows to the light pouring out of the clouds. This is the day he would step foot outside of this damn prison in hopes never to return again.
“Can’t believe you’re leaving so soon,” Mark mumbles looking up to Donghyuck from his bed. Still being under the covers he watches his friend who’s got bruises on his nose, chin and cheek bone, but still his enthusiasm spreads all over his face. “You’re a free man but you’re already looking so beat,”
“Fuck off Mark.” Donghyuck runs his hands through his head taking a seat on his own bed. His head running free and wild with thoughts. But the one thing that’s pressing his head is that he never wants to come back to prison again. He misses his mum (who has not been sending in her letters to him), he misses Renjun who he heard from the ward guards that he was released 3 years ago. He misses his family, and he knows that they might not be too excited to see him when he gets back, but he wants to show them just how much he’s changed in his mindset. He wants to try and be the son his mum has always wanted, and he wants to be a big brother to Renjun, but most importantly, he wants to live his life the right way. “Even though I’m fucked up, I want to live honestly,” He whispers out.
Mark scoffs and rolls his eyes. “You’re all talk but, you’ll be back here before you know it. There’s going to be something that will just piss you off and make you go crazy,”
Donghyuck tries not to pay attention to Mark and only focuses on the positive, and he gets relieved when he hears his prison cell buzzer ring and looks up to the door that has a square space with bars. Seeing the officer Park Jisung call his name, Donghyuck eagerly stands up placing his hands behind his head as procedure. Officer Park Jisung gets in the cell accompanied by another guard (who stands like a guard dog and watches Mark and the other prisoners making sure that they don’t try and move). Jisung pulls Donghyuck’s hands down and into handcuffs. “Good morning Lee Donghyuck. My name is Officer Park, I’ll be in charge of settling your release papers and getting you out of here. Any questions you have will have to wait until we get to the holding center.”
Donghyuck feels relief wash over him that his appeal had been approved and that he can hear his freedom being doors away. He thought surely that he’d be rejected, but much to his surprise they granted him freedom.
“Why’d they say yes?” Donghyuck asks regardless of what Jisung said.
“Any questions you may have will have to wait until we get to the holding center.” Jisung repeats sternly.
This makes Mark snicker a little while watching his friend being taken away. Donghyuck looks back to Mark with a formidable smile. “Good luck Mark,”
“See you soon bro,” Mark winks his eye and breathes out when their door is banged shut causing the metallic locks to seal up the door again. “I’ve gotta get out of here,”
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The metal gates containing the prison facility closes after Donghyuck steps out. He takes a look back to the buildings that enclosed him and kept him for 5 years. He rubs his wrists looking up to the hot sun taking in the air of his new freedom. Finally, he’s out.
He expects to see his mum as usual, yet when there’s no sign of humans around the area he hangs his jacket behind his back before looking left and right and beginning his walk.
By the time Donghyuck’s legs wear out and he’s tired both physically as well as mentally, he stops by a gas station hoping to make a phone call. He barely has enough coins to make a calling, but he manages with the little he has. He leans by the wall and taps on the memorized phone numbers calling on his mum.
Thankfully the phone clicks. “Hello?”
“Mum,” Donghyuck’s voice is raspy but it can’t contain his own happiness when hearing his mum’s voice. She doesn’t sound sick.
“Oh,” Her voice fades. “Donghyuck is that you?”
“Yes, uh, I got released today,”
“I was aware.”
There’s a moment of silence that passes between them, with Donghyuck waiting eagerly to hear her voice but yet she doesn’t reciprocate his enthusiasm. Sensing that she’s not going to speak he speaks before his minutes run out. “Uhm, I was wondering…if you could let me stay over at your place…” He scratches the back of his head, feeling small and crushed that his mother doesn’t sound pleased to even hear him. “Just until I can find a place to stay,”
Her silence lasts long only causing Donghyuck to worry.
“Please…please mum?” He begs. “I… I won’t stay long. Please, I promise to be on my best behavior, I-”
“You have less than 1 minute.” The operating voice cuts in between, causing Donghyuck to curse. When the line connects again, he waits a bit to hear from his mum, but she still doesn’t speak.
“Okay fine. Just for tonight.” Donghyuck lets out as a last resort. “I’ll be gone in the morning.”
Just when Donghyuck isn’t expecting his mum to accept, she does. “Fine. But we changed the address. Right now, I’m at work, Renjun will arrive in an hour or so, you’ll have to wait outside. We no longer live in 84 Guryong. We’re in Estate Pent Thirty-f-”
“Shit.” Donghyuck tries to look for pocket change to carry on the call, but it hangs and he curses. “Fuck.” A few seconds of rest leads to him looking at the street map outside the gas store to find the address the his mum mentioned. “Estate Pent…” His eyes widen slightly seeing that the new residence is in an area whereby he’s never lived in.
It’s also quite far from where he is. He takes a deep breath and begins walking…
“Need a lift?”
Donghyuck’s ears are alert when hearing a voice. He looks behind him to a guy smiling at a girl. The girl continues walking minding her own business and not focusing on the guy who tries desperately hard to get her attention including whistling. Donghyuck breathes out a chuckle. “Still a dick.”
Jungwoo much to his own dissatisfaction rolls his eyes when the girl ignores him. “Fine. Go away with your flat ass,”
“I gotta advice you bro, chasing chicks decades younger then you will lead you to prison,” Donghyuck speaks loud enough to get the attention of the male in the car. Jungwoo peers to the voice and instantly a smile coats his face.
“Ehy, the boy who went to prison,” Jungwoo stops his engine and gets out the car just as Donghyuck walks over to the man. They get into a bro hug doing a little handshakes before Jungwoo goes all in for a hugr causing Donghyuck to stand in shock before he pushes Jungwoo off him. Jungwoo laughs it off fixing his cow boy hat on his head looking jolly. “Man, how the hell are you out? Did you escape? ‘Cause I know for sure your sentence was much longer then this? Where’s your other half by the way? You hungry? I was heading to lunch, come on. There’s a new joint that opened up serving amazing lobster- you know what it can be my treat, order and eat as much as you like. It’s good seeing you, the streets have been crazy with this boy by the name of Shotaro being all over the place causing havoc on every territory. Thank goodness you’re back, you can teach him a lesson. Wait, did I actually tell you about Sungchan? He was sentenced life in prison just yesterday, but wait that brings me back to you, how are you out? How-”
One thing Donghyuck liked about his old friend Jungwoo was how he always did the talking and never really allowed anyone else to talk but himself. He’d not only ask questions, but he’d answer his own questions and most of the time Donghyuck thinks that Jungwoo doesn’t really care about anyone’s opinion because he’s always talking and likes hearing his voice. So Donghyuck simply sits in the front seat, resting out his legs and allowing his seat to recline backwards so that he can take time to breathe in from his heavy walking. Hopefully when done eating, he’ll set the street address of his mum’s new place.
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After a heavy and amazing meal, Donghyuck is seated outside on a bench in the park under a tree facing in the direction of a clean and solid apartment building. Not only did it reside in a well off area, but the people themselves walking in and out of the apartment looked stable. At first he wanted to go in, but seeing how he was dressed in dark clothes from the night of the accident, he knew that the guards wouldn’t let him in. So now he sits outside, waiting for Renjun or even his mum to show up.
He waits for a really long time until his eyes squint a little by the appearance of a person which resembles Renjun. However, this person has got short black hair, looks angry and is dressed in all black clothes… well his jersey is a mixture of black and white stripes, but it sure as hell makes him look so different.
“Renjun!” Donghyuck yells out the name of his brother. There’s a fleeting happiness that gets upon Donghyuck’s heart when seeing the boy. Just two days ago, he reminisced on the feelings of how he felt for disappointing Renjun. So seeing him causes him happiness. He stretches his legs and begins moving towards the exit of the park going over to Renjun who stands frozen looking at Donghyuck as if it’s a horror movie. “Hey,” Donghyuck greets with a wholeheartedly.
However, Renjun is anything but cheerful. Up close, there’s a permanent resting scowl on his face, and with the short hair Donghyuck can see the faint lines of wrinkles which help to make Renjun look even more angry. “What are you doing here?”
Donghyuck is confused by the tone tilting his head with a confused face. “What’s up with the glum face?”
“You didn’t answer my question.” Renjun remarks looking closed off. “What are you doing here?”
“Mum gave me the ad-”
“The hell she did.” Renjun says distastefully. “Why’re you out? Didn’t you have a full sentence of 15 years?”
Donghyuck tries not to get angry, by holding in his tongue and poking it on the corner of his lip. “You also don’t want me here?” It’s clear how from his reaction that he also didn’t want him around. And to be fair, Donghyuck can understand why, but the fact that Renjun doesn’t even look the least bit fazed makes Donghyuc upset. “Well I called mum and she said I could stay here for-”
“You’re not gonna stay here. Her health’s been good for the past years now, she doesn’t need stress in her life anymore. Neither do I, so go back where you belong behind bars and out of everyone’s hair.” Renjun gives Donghyuck a dirty look before walking past him.
Donghyuck is quick in stopping his brother by the arm before looking to him. “Look Renjun. I’m sorry-”
“Save it. And leave me alone.” Renjun yanks his arm away. “I don’t care if she gave you the address, you’re not getting in. Find another place, in fact consider yourself cut from our lives. We don’t want you here.”
Donghyuck is about to comment out he has no right to speak, but he holds his tongue shutting his eyes tightly when thinking of just how much he tried his best to change in prison. If he continues to allow his tongue to be the master of everything, he’ll end up in prison again. Which is why he lets Renjun go. He stands in place and sighs, before going back to the park and sitting down on the bench with his brain raging but seemingly trying to remain calm. He reminds himself, that he deserves Renjun’s anger. But mostly Donghyuck fears just how much prison has changed his brother. Not only appearance wise, but internally as well. The Renjun that Donghyuck remembers was timid and always on edge, was always looked down upon and was a whining coward. This Renjun is gritty, unwavering, strong minded and angry. Donghyuck can blame it on the prison experience and also with the fact that he may or may not be his brother’s favorite person right now- but damn he’s changed so much. Was this his behavior everywhere, or was it only because Donghyuck was there. Whatever it is, Donghyuck hopes that it’ll pass.
With all the time he spent in prison trying to change his ways and character, he can’t come home to everyone already given up on him. He wanted one more chance, to redeem himself as well as prove that he wasn’t an unlucky fuckup. He needed just one more chance.
And so when the afternoon rolls in and the sky changes colors from blue to a cream shade of orange, Donghyuck gets up when seeing the all too familiar posture of his mother. Donghyuck can already tell that so much has changed. He’s not only happy to see her walking strongly and with a smile on her face, but also she looks really good. She’s dressed in a beautiful floral dress and her back is actually not hunched over. She looks strong. And that makes Donghyuck’s emotions flatter. Seeing his mother after so long causes him to be slightly emotional. Because he knows that soon, her smile will fade when looking at him.
It doesn’t even take a second for her smile to disappear upon noticing him crossing the street over to where she is. Her smile instantly vanishes when Donghyuck’s gaze meets hers. He tries not to break down, but the tears are already building up. His mum hates him. He can’t even look at her, as his eyes blur and he hates on himself for ever using her to the point where he takes away her smile.
However, when Donghyuck’s head hangs and he stops walking, his mum sighs sadly upon seeing her son. She slowly makes her way to him. When standing in front of him, her hand lands on his shoulder. He doesn’t look up and neither does she try to get him to look up. Honestly when he called, she just wished that she changed her number because she didn’t want to speak to him. And seeing him now, she thinks of how much worry he’s put her through. In all the times that he went to prison, she would work her hardest to try and help her son. Everyone called her names, called him names, and it tore her image not only as mother but a woman. Her son was her greatest embarrassment, but he was all she had. And despite the humiliation she’d go through, she still tried, she would drain herself day and night to get some sort of money to bail him out, some money to feed him, cloth him, help him start afresh because this was her son whom she loved so much. At some point, she even became religious and prayed for her son to change. She believed that he would change someday.
But that day, 5 years ago at the court room, she realized just how far gone her son had gone. He seemed beyond saving, and there was nothing she could do. When Donghyuck led Renjun to prison, something in her snapped. She didn’t want to be mother who failed. She knew she did nothing wrong and always corrected him, but his behavior was not a character she raised. So upon Renjun, beaten, in cuffs, accused, mocked and even humiliated- she saw herself in him. That day, her heart broke in ways that her abusive husband had never broken her before. Enough was enough. She needed to break free from the chains of being broken. All she wanted was strength and chance to set her life straight, so when they both went to prison, she was left alone and had been granted a chance to change her life. And when Renjun finished serving his sentence, she made sure that she would be strong for the son she didn’t deserve. She tried to be the mother she had always envisioned herself to be. And thankfully, day by day with a grateful son in her corner she slowly regained the strength she had lost, she became into a better and healthier version of herself.
With a good son in her corner, who always took care of her, reminded her everyday why she was special, she knew that her life was finally making sense. Life was supposed to be this way. And she never wanted to let this moment go. But now standing in front of Donghyuck, her son, her past- she’s expecting to be warm and welcoming to him, but she can’t find it in herself to even smile for her son. But as a way of moving on, she rubs his back. “You’re staying for tonight. You leave in the morning.”
Donghyuck tightens his jaw and nods his head. His heart broken. But he can’t say anything as he feels the lump clogging his throat. He ends up walking, following behind her. The guard is alert when seeing Donghyuck, as hours before Renjun warned him not to let him in. “Good afternoon Mrs Lee,”
“Hi Chanyeol,” She smiles warmly. “Any letter for me?”
The man smiles and shakes his head, always being kind and friendly to the middle aged woman who had nothing but a big heart whenever seeing him. “No, your son took them up,” Chanyeol clears his throat motioning to Donghyuck. “He informed me that, I shouldn’t let the gentleman in.”
She looks back to Donghyuck who still had his hand holding on his leather jacket. Sighing, she turns back to Chanyeol and shakes her head. “I’m guessing he was upset right?”
“Very,” Chanyeol smiles politely. “Haven’t seen him that angry before.”
“Hopefully it’s short lived,” She motions behind her. “This is a guest, he’s only visiting for the night, so don’t worry,”
It’s more than a blow for Donghyuck when he hears his mum calling him a guest. Did he really lose her trust? He tries not to say anything and follows behind his mum who makes her way to the elevator of the polished looking apartment.
Donghyuck doesn’t look around and simply keeps his head down, his own thoughts weighing him down. There’s a feeling of loneliness that engulfs him in anger, but he refuses to display or manifest it. He’s so deep in his thoughts that he doesn’t even hear his mother who speaks. “Have you eaten?”
Hearing the silence, she’s reminded of how her son barely even spoke to her decently in the first place, and so she doesn’t even try to create small conversation with him when entering the elevator. They make it to the 7th floor and Donghyuck follows behind until his mother stops by a door.
Before even opening the door, Donghyuck’s nostrils sniff the scent of a delicious aroma. Hearing his mother laugh, he looks up when seeing the door open revealing a delighted looking Renjun. “Guess what I made? Come in quick before it gets cold, I just took it off the stove now,”
She unlocks the gates and walks in, allowing for Donghyuck to follow in the lively lit home. It feels like a home with all the warmth and love. Already he feels out of place, but there’s nothing he can do but follow in. His mum closes the gate behind still chatting on with Renjun who disappeared somewhere. Donghyuck turns his head to the walls, seeing portraits and pictures of just her and Renjun. There are some medals hung on the wall and trophies as well. “Wow,” He mutters underneath his breath.
The entrance of the house is a narrow hallway, leading to a living room and there’s a door on the side for the kitchen. Donghyuck follows his mum who enters the kitchen. He stands by the doorway watching his mother walking to the stove where Renjun is. The kitchen is large enough that it even has a table and four chairs around it.
Donghyuck wants to walk in- but the moment the lively chatter stops between his mother and Renjun- he looks up. And just as he guessed, Renjun has stern cold eyes fixed on him. “What the hell.” He mutters and peaks at his mum. “You let him in?”
“Just for tonight sweety, he said he’d be gone by the morning,” She gives him a pat on the back.
“But why’d you let him in?” Renjun’s shoulders slump and he crosses his arms. “I thought you said you’re done with him?”
“Renjun, please,” Donghyuck notes how she tries to calm Renjun down by holding onto the sides of his arm. “I know what I said, but it’s just for tonight-”
“I hate to break it to you mum, but that’s how it always starts. You let him stay the night, and the next thing we know he’s out and about causing trouble and continues hiding out here until we’ve got a whole bunch of unwanted debt collectors and police officers barking down on the door-”
“Renjun.” She calls earnestly. “Don’t talk like that, stop it. He’s your brother you-”
“He’s your son, not my brother. He never was.” Renjun drops his arms and turns back to the stove causing for Donghyuck to poke on the side of his mouth with his tongue, while he watches his mother look nonchalant. “I only made enough for you and me.” Renjun turns around and begins plating his meal as well as for his mum. Before he takes a seat grumpily eating on his food.
“You’ve gotten awfully comfortable-”
“And you’ve outstayed your welcome and family privileges.” He sharply remarks glaring at Donghyuck. “You’re making everyone uncomfortable, do us a favor and just-”
“Renjun.” A warning tone leaves their mum’s lips. “Eat your food.” She inhales sharply running her hand through her hair. “Are you hungry Donghyuck?”
He only ate the meal that Jungwoo gave him in the morning, and even if he kind of felt hungry, he didn’t want to. He shakes his head. “It’s okay you can enjoy your food. Uh, while moving did you take any of my stuff-”
“Yes-”
“I threw them out.” Renjun cuts his mum off. Her gaze that penetrates the back of his head is strong in shock. “They were an omen and reflection of bad luck.”
“Renjun-”
“You know what,” Donghyuck grates his teeth before biting on his lip. “Fuck this. I’m leaving.”
“Donghyuck-”
Donghyuck shakes his head pulling his leather jacket back on and moving the door. He opens it only to be stopped by the gate.
“Donghyuck don’t leave.” His mum carefully holds onto his arm looking disheartened. “You said you’d stay for the night-”
“I’m not wanted here anymore, clearly, so just fucking open the gates and I’ll be out of your life forever. You wanted me gone anyway, so I’ll do you a favor and leave.”
“Donghyu-”
“Mum please.” Donghyuck stresses out through his teeth closing his eyes feeling the tears. “You’re clearly fucking healthy and you look great. I don’t want to fuck things up again, so just please open the gates. I’ll go and I promise not to fucking disturb you again.”
For some reason, that only makes her heart hurt. “Just for tonight- I’ll make dinner, please-”
Donghyuck shakes his head and wipes his eyes before forcing his arms out of his mother’s hands and walks back to the kitchen. “Come fucking open the gates or else I’ll break it open.”
“No need to tell me twice.” Renjun grumbles leaving his chopsticks and digging into his pockets bringing out keys. Renjun moves to the gates ignoring his mum who gives him upset eyes. Once he unlocks the gates, Donghyuck pushes past him and leaves.
“Donghyuck.” She calls once, but it’s useless when he turns the corner and instead of using the elevator takes the stairs all the way down.
The security guard, Chanyeol notes that Donghyuck is leaving and he doesn’t say anything.
Donghyuck is angry. Enraged by the stupid tears that clog his vision as he keeps walking away. He wants to hit something- to punch someone- to scream- to shout- to find some way to let his anger out- any other way except through tears. He finds his way back on the park bench underneath the tree as he holds his head in between his hands and stays silent. He sniffs here and there but he doesn’t cry. He allows for himself to feel the emotions of frustration. It’s the fact that there’s a whole in his heart and that he can feel it bleeding- it’s the fact that he wants to let it out but he knows that he can’t let it out without harming someone. But he doesn’t want to harm anyone- he doesn’t want to prove to Renjun or even Mark that he’s the same. Which is why when the first few come out, he doesn’t hold back and allows his shoulders to shudder and his voice to croak as he let’s out his emotions, his tears, his cry.
The whole night, Donghyuck covers himself in self-pity while contemplating on what to do in his life, where and how to try and live an honest life. Unlike when he was in prison, seeing his mother again made him realize that she’s always been there through thick and thin, even though he let her down she was everything a mother could be- he just never cherished her enough and that she was the only one. In her soul she would sacrifice for him to have the best in life…and because he took her for granted, he needed to let her know that he wants to make it right…he wants to touch her soul again, to at least bring a smile on her face. So before the early morning, he’s up from the bench and walks around the area. He cleans up his face in the public toilet washing his face and looking himself in the mirror giving himself some encouragement.
“I look so pathetic.” He mutters before leaving the bathroom.
Donghyuck doesn’t fret when the nearby stores don’t have any positions open, he doesn’t fret when he gets approached by some the old friends he knew who used to steal and sell on the sides of the roads, he walks away from them and persists on his journey to find work. It would’ve been easier if he didn’t get many employers asking for paperwork, degrees or even cv- it was even worse when they recognized him as someone who had a prison record, much worse when they didn’t know and they asked and he had to be honest with them. It’s hard work looking for a job, but just thinking of his mother allows him to try.
Day in and day out, Donghyuck finds himself barely making it through. On the first night he slept in the park opposite his mother’s apartment, but after much nights of sleeping on a bench- welcoming arms came from another homeless man who told him about a shelter that took in ‘straymen’ like himself. A nonprofit organization that helped to feed the needy and gave water once a week. He somehow got attached to the group of stray kids… homeless stray men who stuck together and would share everything they had with each other. Donghyuck didn’t fret when within a week, he found himself sleeping under bridges, on street corners and even sleeping standing up against a building. It wasn’t much, but he got work as a car washer. It wasn’t much because it wasn’t even professional as they’d randomly go up to cars by a traffic light and offer to wash windows. Not only washing cars but he got multiple side jobs; handing out newspapers, collecting any forms of plastic to get recycled and even helping people carry bags that were heavy.
It’s the most humiliated Donghyuck had ever felt, but as long as he was making money- he endured it. He just needed to reach his goal, to at least go to an internet café and forge out documents with his qualification. He didn’t make it far in school because of lack of funds, but Donghyuck did do side programs and got some degree. Even though forging out documents was wrong, Donghyuck had enough of being humiliated.
Together, on most days, he found himself attending ‘church’ with the group of stray kids who would go to pray.
When he thought of religion, he only thought of his mother. There was no one else committed like her when it came to going every day, praying every day and even giving in money she didn’t have. Donghyuck only came because it felt as a way to be close to her.
So he wasn’t expecting when one Sunday after the service he’d see a bright eyed woman waiting for him. His heart felt heavy for a second when seeing his mum standing and smiling. The automatic tears that seemed to only come when he acknowledged her. He looks behind him, wondering whether Renjun was around, because ever since he came out of prison she never smiled at him- so it wouldn’t make sense that 2 months later she’s outside with a warm smile.
Donghyuck scratches his neck and looks away already disqualifying himself from her gaze. Yet he freezes when hearing his name being called. “Donghyuck,”
His head slowly turns back to the spot whereby he saw his mum. His shoulders hang when he notices that she’s approaching him. He can’t even look at her in the eye knowing that he can’t contain the tears just as much as he can’t contain the anger.
Her eyes take in his appearance. He’s dressed in the same clothes that she last saw him in. Although his pants looked faded and bit dirty, his leather jacket was worn out and had some leather falling out. His hair was messy and looked combed down only with his fingers. Even though she’s not able to see his face, she can see how much weight he lost. Prison must’ve fed him well because when she last saw him he looked in good physical shape, but now he looks starved with his jaws smaller and face small. Her son…
It took one tiring, long and so heartbreaking conversation with Renjun, for her to feel so much anguish and guilt for neglecting her son. Despite all that he has done, he was still her son, and if she could protect one and groom him well, then surely she could try again with another. Especially when acknowledging that something was different about him.
“How was the service?” She asks warmly, her smile radiating joy as it covers her sadness.
Donghyuck clears his throat and looks back. Despite it being a welcoming place, he could sense the stares of the people around him and even with a message and word so strong, Donghyuck has never felt so empty before in his own life. His eyes turn back to the ground and he shrugs his shoulders not uttering a word.
This break his mother’s heart. Her son… “Are you hungry?”
Donghyuck sniffs back, blocking out the tears that attempt to fall. He hated how glum and gloomy he’s been feeling and he especially hates how his mother is here. “Uh, I actually have to get going.” Donghyuck doesn’t look to her when he turns around and carries on walking without stopping, even when she calls out his name on repeat. He shuts his ears and even runs- it hurts so much. His heart hurts so much, but he doesn’t allow himself time to grieve as he carries on his walk getting to the back of the shelter where he spent most of his days when he had nothing to do.
He busks on the ground sniffing and wiping his eyes trying to compose himself.
“Donghyuck-”
His head snaps up to the panting woman who holds onto her side bending down trying to catch her breath. “Mum? Did you follow me?” Donghyuck asks, panicked as he moves towards her but doesn’t touch her. “Why did you follow me? You could’ve hurt yourself,” Donghyuck stresses.
“I was trying to talk to you, but you just ran away from me.” She breathes out still hunched and trying to catch her breath. “I wanted…to talk to you, let me catch my breath,”
Donghyuck meekly stands back and watches her. She’s got on a long dress that end by her ankles, it’s black and she has a white cardigan over her dress. Her grey hairs are neatly tucked in a low ponytail. It brings Donghyuck, some form of happiness, when seeing that her health was booming and despite being tired, that she had strength. His only form of happiness was seeing his mum being well. Without him in the picture and with Renjun being by her side she regained the health that he had taken away from her.
“I can’t come back to you mum,” Donghyuck finds himself saying. “I’ll only cause you stress, and you’ll lose weight again, and you’ll get sick again because of me, and i… I don’t want to be responsible for your unhappiness and misery. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be okay…and now that you’re well, I need to find my own way…you don’t need me holding you down,”
These are words to her ears. Hearing her son being so vulnerable causes her to recall of a time when she cradled him in her arms when he was just a child. She vowed that no matter what, she would protect him. Little did she know that his own way of doing things, were for her and not out of selfish reasons. She limps forward and holds her hand out. “Are you hungry?” She asks calmly looking up to him who still had eyes for the ground. “We can talk after you’ve had a meal. Are you going to deny my request to spend time with you?”
Donghyuck visibly hesitates and gulps before shaking his head.
When his mother takes him to a causal diner serving pastry, Donghyuck’s eyes light up when seeing all the meals but his eyes don’t linger long on the food as he focuses on the table. He was so hungry, he only ate once a week during a Thursday when the shelter people would come, but otherwise he lived on water from public fountains.
“What would you like, I’ll pay for it,”
Looking at the menu, Donghyuck looked for the cheapest bun which was a doughnut. “T-the simple doughnut,”
“Are you sure?” His mum asks looking at the menu seeing that it’s the cheapest and most plain. “Come on son, don’t be afraid. I’ve got more than enough,”
Donghyuck chokes up on the word ‘son’ but still shakes his head. “I’m not that hungry though. It’s alright you can eat,”
“The son I knew loved eating,”
“I just don’t want to waste your money. You can use it on something else,”
“I want to use it on you,” She tries to ensure, but the look on Donghyuck’s face showed that was adamant. Even though he didn’t say anything, she could see right through his façade. Something surely changed in her son.
The afternoon he left her house, she couldn’t shake off the guilt she felt for letting him leave. Even though she had a piece of mind without him, it’s the mere fact that he came to her and she turned him away. As his mother, her soul still ached for her son.
“We’ll have the lunch brunch,” She says when the waiter returns. Donghyuck’s ears perk but he says nothing. He waits for his mum to speak, but his nerves get the better of him and he’s legs begin to shake by the heavy silence.
“The pastor told me, that he had seen you a couple of times wandering the streets,” She speaks when noting his anxiety. “He asked me, why I had neglected you.” That makes her pause to take in her son’s fragile and vulnerable state. He looked neglected and deprived of a mother’s love. “His words hit me straight in the heart because he reminded me of all the prayers I made for you. Prayers for you to change, to become my son again, prayers for God to help you find your way. His words, reminded me why I shouldn’t give up on you.”
Those are words to Donghyuck’s ears, they even make him turn red.
“We can start over,” She proposes. “We can put the past behind us, and try again. Are you willing to try again? To rekindle our relationship?”
Donghyuck feels his neck growing hot, but he still manages to clear his throat uttering out a tiny ‘Yeah’ but he’s even afraid of confessing the words out loud just in case it’ll jinx his luck.
“I’m happy to hear that,” She smiles warmly again leaning over the table trying not to push his nervousness. “A position recently opened up in the place where I work. They’re looking for a janitor and security guard, two wedged type of work. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a private kindergarten school and they pay very well. If you’re interested, I can arrange the necessary documents for you, and put in a good word for you. I’m well-respected in the school, so I believe that despite your record, I can put in a good word and it’ll be enough to cover your past,”
- 2 Weeks later.
Donghyuck picks up the heavy green plastic of trash consisting of used but not limited to dirty recyclable materials, and walks out the classroom and onto the hallway that would lead to the playground field where all the different sets of dumpsters would be. After dumping the trash inside and closing the lid he digs into his pocket to his buttoned phone to check the time.
15:29.
Thirty more minutes until he could knock off. Upon walking back to the classroom, his eyes squint into the playground distance to the empty entrance gate- well not so empty. What catches his eye, is some sort of homeless looking guy in dirty black sweatpants and a faded out red coca cola t-shirt with holes, walking towards a child sitting on a bench. Donghyuck sighs and walks towards the entrance. His whole presence alone causes the homeless guy to deviate and part away crossing the street. The vulnerable child isn't even aware that she's been spared from danger as she continues humping on the bench. Getting a bit sexual and seemingly trying to reach her pleasure.
Donghyuck scratches his neck wondering if he should be stopping the child or tell his mum once again. Even though they still weren't on good terms, he promised to be on his best behavior if it meant his mum helping him out. Getting out of prison with a warrant wasn't easy at all, but not as much as it was to get a job of any kind with so many prison charges. Thankfully, Donghyuck's mother came to his rescue. She worked as a day care teacher assistant and their school was in need of a cleaner. It wasn't a luxurious position, but Donghyuck took it just to prove to his mother that he was serious in mending their relationship.
So being a 'janitor' his main responsibilities included getting on the school grounds early, cleaning up classes when students were not inside, disposing of trash and waiting until the school day was over and all the kids went home to clean again. Those were his responsibilities, but it became tough when parents didn't pick up their kids on time at 13.00. Donghyuck hated when parents would fetch their kids late. Reason being, because he'd need to make sure that the school was 100% empty before him to go home. And if it was not 100% empty, then he wasn't allowed to go home.
Getting closer to the bench, Donghyuck notices the child seating down yet rocking her hips back and forth on the bench- almost grinding herself on it. The sight is perverse. However, for Donghyuck, he'd gotten used to only one of the day care students who was consistent in grinding on anything and everything when she was bored. Areum.
Making himself more visible to the young girl, Donghyuck sits on the bench next to her. Her motion stops and she peers to the elder sitting next to her, a bright smile coating her lips. "Hi Mr Sunshine!"
"Hey Kid." Donghyuck greets in a mumbling tone making the girl chuckle. “What?” He asks when looking down at her.
“I have a joke,”
“Go for it,” Donghyuck sighs, already knowing she’d bring another terrible pun joke. She loved doing that for some reason.
Areum giggles and looks up to Donghyuck. “A book fell on my head when I was in the library. I guess I only had myshelf to blame.” She begins giggling. “Did you hear the joke about the little mountain? It was hill-arious!”
“I’ve got one,” Donghyuck finds himself saying. “What do dogs do when they need a break while watching a movie?”
“What?”
“They put it on paws.” Donghyuck shakes his head smirking when the little girl begins dying of laughter. A little back and forth of her terrible puns fills the silent, but after some time she becomes silent. With his hands in his pocket and peering down at the girl who slowly continues to grind herself again, Donghyuck sighs. "Where's your parent?"
The child blinks causing Donghyuck to internally roll his eyes groaning lowly. This job really tested his patience especially when talking with kids.
"Where's the person who's going to fetch you? You mum or dad or guardian?"
"Oh! Mummy's at work." She says nodding her head. "Uncle Jung is going to fetch me."
Donghyuck nods his head allowing the silence to take over. However, his attention draws to the girl once again when she rocks her hips back and forth again. It's not the first time she's done this, however, every time that she does it, Donghyuck feels slightly uncomfortable. He's caught her on this bench all by herself on multiple occasions grinding for pleasure, not only the bench, but sometimes in class as well, on her chair. Donghyuck just wonders what exactly is going on in her head, while she literally dry humps the bench.
"Why are you doing that?" Areum peeks up and blinks her eyes. Donghyuck breathes out. Not wanting to say foreign words or words she's never heard before, he motions with himself and dry humps the bench similar to what she was doing. Areum catches on and smiles.
"It's a secret!" She leers. Despite her words, she seems excited to share the so called secret. And Donghyuck takes advantage of that, throwing his best cunning and charming personality.
"Can I know the secret?" Donghyuck asks with a pretense stunned face, being cunningly friendly. "I thought we're friends?"
"Okay." Areum looks around skeptically. "It's a secret." And laughs. "Uncle Jung said I should tell no one, even if its nice."
Donghyuck's brows furrow. "What's nice?"
Areum laughs covering her mouth frantically. In Donghyuck's head she looks the happiest while trying to be cryptic. She stands up and jumps up happily before her fingers begin to move. Donghyuck's eyes widen when she lifts up her white skirt revealing her yellow panty. He hesitates for a second until he realizes that her hand fumbles and makes its way inside her panty. He's quick to taking her hands out while having a morbidly shocked face.
She giggles, being way too excited. "Let me show you."
The secret? The secret has something to do with an uncle and a child? This only makes Donghyuck widely panic. "Fuck,"
"Oh oh." She covers her mouth in sudden surprise. "Do you also play fuck like Uncle Jung?" Before a smile latches onto her face. A chill runs down Donghyuck's spine. "Uncle Jung said fuck is a game. It's my favorite game." She whispers out.
His eyes widen. In all his years of being in prison, he sorta had the chance to reflect on where he'd like to be once he's out. And right now, talking to this girl feels dangerous. It's a problem. And this is not what he wants at all. If he tells his mum, there might be a high case of him being in a feud with the family of the young girl's parents. At the same time because the daycare already don't like him, he and his mum might both be fired from god knows what- Donghyuck is aware of how much they're waiting for him to slip up. But yet, he can't stop himself from asking. "Can you tell me more about his game? I don't know it."
"Don't tell anyone. Not even Mrs Chittaphon. Or mummy. Only Uncle Jung and I play this game," She nods her head and smile. "It's a nice game. I get to sit on him and ride the horsey!"
Donghyuck's eyes burst out of their sockets. Just as his lips become dry. He clears his throat asking. "Does he remove your clothes?"
She shakes her head. "No." She smiles. That sort of makes Donghyuck cool down again, however he's still in edge by the word horsey and what exactly she rides or what exactly has he shown her. "Can I show you?"
Donghyuck shakes his head with a tight smile, feeling bad for the little girl who seems brainwashed. "It's fine, I don't want to play the game today,"
"Uncle Jung likes to play it after work," Areum smiles. And that literally breaks Donghyuck's heart. Such a small, sweet and innocent little girl being manipulated by a ravaging uncle wolf.
"What does he do in the game?" Donghyuck asks after gaining her trust by sealing his lips shut with an invisible key.
"He tickles me here." Areum points to a part in her skirt and that makes Donghyuck mad. The urge to telling his mum growing. "And does like this," using her middle finger, she surprisingly rubs it on her yellow panty causing Donghyuck to quickly hold her hand.
"Your fucking uncle is raping you." He can't hold himself back when he glares into her eyes while shaking his head.
"My playing uncle is raping?" She asks with a puzzled face. "What's raping?"
Donghyuck sucks in a breath, and with distress he runs his hands through his hair. Before he turns back to Areum his eyes latch onto a black vehicle pulling up on the street. "Shit. Hey sweet cheeks, I need you to listen alright. Don't tell Uncle Jung that you told me, okay?"
She instantly nods his head. "I won't tell him. He'll be angry with me. Don't worry Mr Sunshine, it'll be our little secret."
The black vehicle parks right in front of them, with Donghyuck creating some distance while Areum can't stop giggling at her secret. A man, smartly dressed in a suit with parted hair, steps out the car with a charming smile growing on his lips when Areum jumps from the bench running to him. Donghyuck stands up with his hands stuffing in his pocket.
"Uncle Jung!" Areum cheers hugging him by his legs. Upon hearing the name, Donghyuck's eyes do a double take towards the man. The man squats all the way down with an antagonizing friendly smile, and puckers his lips allowing for Areum to kiss his lips before she giggles like the naive little girl she is. She begins jumping up and down in place while the man stands. "Did you buy the toys?"
"My little puppy, I bought you so many toys for you to enjoy. They're gonna make you feel real good ," Hearing the voice of the older male, his underlying tone of condescension and how much authority he has over the little girl, Donghyuck can't help it when his fists tighten into a ball. His jaw clinches when the male with a charismatic smile grins his way. "She wasn't a bother was she?"
Donghyuck's jaw locks and he looks away, only making Jaehyun continue as if he didn't get ignored.
"Either way, thanks for keeping her company. "
Placing Areum in the backseat and placing her bag in the boot, the man known as Uncle Jung gets into his driver's seat and begins driving away. Donghyuck can only stand with his fists balled up as he watches the car stride away. In his head, although the situation was sickening, he already told himself he wouldn't get involved. His mum's reputation, as well as his own reputation was on the line.
"Poor girl." Donghyuck sighs walking back in the school to lock it up.
"Jaehyun, thank you so much for looking after her," Yezi smiles giving her boyfriend, Jaehyun, a peck on his lips looking up into his eyes while picking up Areum from the floor and positioning her on her hip. "I hope she wasn't a bother,"
"She's never a bother to me," Jaehyun smiles placing his finger over his lip causing Areum to giggle hiding her face in her mother's neck.
"Did you have fun baby?" Yezi asks with a dashing smile making Areum cheerfully nod her head.
"Yes mummy! Uncle Jung and I played together!"
"Yes we did. She's so obedient," Jaehyun has a proud smile looking at the little girl in her mummy's arms, before he looks back to her mummy. "Are you sure you don't want her to spend the night with me while you're on your family dinner? I don't mind, it's Friday."
"I really wish I could leave her with you, but my sister's coming for the first time in such a long. She'd really love to see Areum,"
"That's alright, my darling," Jaehyun pets on Areum's head puckering his lips waiting for her to place her lips on him and she does.
At first for Yezi it used to be weird that Areum allowed for Jaehyun to do that when she was very conservative with people, but after some time and after getting used to it, she found it adorable how Areum opened up to Jaehyun in so many ways. "Have fun alright my little puppy,"
"Okay Uncle Jung," Areum grins and waves her hand. “Bye-bye uncle Jung,"
"Bye puppy,"
"Mummy is your sister really coming?" Areum asks with hopeful eyes, causing Yezi to frantically nod her head. "I can't wait to see her! I have a joke for her?”
“Let me hear it,” Yezi laughs slightly while walking.
“What do dogs do when they need a break while watching a movie? They put it on paws.” Areum begins laughing hard when her mum laughs as well.
“That’s a good one,”
“Mummy are you happy?" Areum asks.
Yezi laughs and places Areum down so they can hold hands and walk in the house. “I’m so so happy,”
18:50
"How do I look?" Jeno asks for the upteenth time, nervously adjusting his long sleeved shirt into his fine ironed black suit pants. He clears his throat testing out his voice with the syllable 'ah'. Dae, standing in front of him with her hands on his shoulders, peers into his wandering eyes waiting for him to relax. "How do I look? Do I look good?"
"You keep asking me the same question?" She lightly smiles, finding his whole nervous state funny.
"That's because you haven't answered me," Jeno inhales and exhales.
"Well, the first time I said you look good, the second time I said you look charming, and the third time I said you look handsome, the fourth time I said you look spot on, and for the tenth time, I said you look, just fine babe." Dae ends up holding onto his fidgeting hands, giving her best smile radiating joy as she leans in close and embraces her lips upon his. Jeno freezes, yet he meekly indulges into the kiss. After a minute, she parts from him. "Baby, relax. It’ll all be alright."
He takes in a deep breath holding onto Dae's waist as he closes his eyes. Taking in another breath, he tries to calm down his nerves. Feeling Dae's hands against his chest, he feels reassured that nothing will happen today, because she is with him. “You look beautiful as always, but tonight you look really happy. I’m happy that you’re sharing this happiness with me,”
After several years- specifically 3 years of them dating, and of them living together and encouraging each other- Dae's father had finally had a change of heart in wanting to see and reunite with his daughter again, and meet the man she chose to love.
Although it happened about 5 years ago, the sight was deeply plunged into Dae's father, Zhong Chenle's mind. It's something that made him feel guilty and responsible for his children’s sufferings. The works of his hands, enclosed and trapped his daughters inside of a hell hole. But as years progressed, and Yezi's child, Areum, grew, he found his stone cold hateful heart slowly melt. The little baby girl looked so much like Dae. Despite being a child of a rapist, she inherited features of the family. Chenle couldn't help but warm up to the little girl whenever she called him 'gwanpa'. With his heart melting by the innocence of the child, he slowly got the strength to look his daughter Yezi in the eye and talk to her. The first few days were tough, as she had been longing and praying for her dad to finally notice her, but eventually she took the same pace as him and slowly they rekindled their relationship of father and last born. And this evening, Chenle was ready to open up his heart again, for his eldest daughter Dae and her new...boyfriend.
The first born, the first daughter of his family, the daughter which always shared her worries and joy with utmost elevation to her father, his first love ever since his ex-wife walked out on him. He wanted to reconnect with her, and never let her go again- even though she chose the path that she was on, he wanted to stand by her and at least try to be in her life again.
So as the sun sets and Chungdae walks around the dining room table adjusting the utensils and making sure the table was set and ready to eat, Chenle buttons up his traditional outfit and fixes his hair in the mirror.
Areum bounces around the room playing with the little dog Daegul, and from time to time looks up to her grandfather. "Gwanpa?"
"Yes my little bean," Chenle responds carefully pressing his hands down his clothes.
"You look nice." Her smile enlightens on her face when he turns around with a smile and picks her up.
"What did I tell you about that word ‘nice’?”
Areum giggles and stands straight. “Nice is dead. Gwanpa you look smart, and rich!” She cheers causing Chenle to smirk with pride.
“Thank you, my little bean." He tickles her stomach. "You don’t look too bad yourself, you look like a royal queen going to a ball,"
"Thank you gwanpa! Gwanpa I have a joke I want to tell mummy’s sister." She circles her hands around her grandfather’s neck as he carries her outside his room and down the stairs.
“She can’t take jokes easily,” Chenle suppresses a laugh when remembering how bad his daughter’s jokes used to be.
After the whole incident that went down and his house burning up, he made arrangements and building construction started again before he instantly moved from the secluded area and settled into a stronghold of fortification that was suitable for his status- in other words, he moved far away into a house of more wealth and power. Just like his previous home, it was situated on a barricaded hill, however instead of it being guarded within a residential gate, he hired his own secretary to look over the massive barricaded land that enclosed his mansion.
So as Jeno and Dae are driving along the road following the GPS signal of the new address of the Zhong Chenle residence, Dae instantly feels little, very tiny when coming to see her father. All that her father was able to achieve in his life time, all his inheritance, fortune, wealthy, position, status, level, money, all of it belonged to only him. A great man, with great power and authority.
"You have reached your destination." The GPS lady says.
Both Jeno and Dae's eyes are enlarged, dazzled and awestruck by the large high-end white concrete border building. "T-this is the house?" Jeno meekly asks. "Fuck me. We literally drove parallel to this wall and you're telling me, that this is the place?"
"There's the gate there," Dae notices the gate a distance away.
Jeno starts his little polished wagon and drives forward to the black high gates. He washed his car and polished it so many times, and even took it to the car wash and had it washed more than 5 times, all so that he could impress Dae's father and have him see himself as a suitable partner of his daughter. But now driving with his red wagon towards the gate, he feels worthless and poor all over again. Who did he think he had become? Just because he loved a rich girl and a rich girl loved him back- didn't make him rich all of a sudden. He was still a poor boy from nowhere.
Dae, seeing the distraught and down casted look shadow on Jeno's face, sets her hand on his thigh that nervously bounced up and down. He takes in a deep breath and presses his lips together when reaching the gate. The gate is completely black and doesn't give any view of what's inside.
Looking at the white wall that has a little black tinted window view, Jeno rolls down his window and awaits for the tinted window to open up. He sticks out his hand and presses on the little poll that had a little intercom.
"Hello?"
No response. Upon waiting for a response Jeno turns to Dae after a while. "Should I knock on the window?"
"No, wait, let me try and send my sister a message and see what we should do," Dae says, bringing out her phone and texts Yezi for the first time in 5 years, stating that she's outside. Yezi responds in a heartbeat making Dae feel much more relieved about there being no hard feelings between her and her family. No longer feeling awkward for being outside for more than 5 minutes. "Yezi says we should tell him our names and that we were invited by Mr Zhong."
"Alright," Jeno nods his head and takes a deep breath. "I suddenly don't feel like wanting to see your family,"
"Me too," Dae replies honestly chuckling lightly.
Living with Jeno, in his world, has really casted some kind of spell on her. From recovering from her overdose and intake of drugs, to being thankful for the hospitality she received from Jeno… the beauty of enjoying life at the expense of very little, is something she grew into. For so long, being away from a prestigious lifestyle, she got to appreciate and adore the simplicity of everything (even though she really had to adjust to many things, she enjoyed the simpler life). "I feel so small,"
Jeno opens up his palm looking into Dae's eyes with assurance. Dae places her tiny hand in his and he lightly squeezes it. They sit silently simply looking at the daunting gates of riches in which resides Dae's family.
"You know," Jeno gently speaks. "On that night, the night Mark, Haechan, Renjun and I invaded your house, we were actually sitting outside, in the car. We came when the sun was slightly still in the sky. We sat outside and watched your house as the sunset over it..."
Dae listens. To think that of all people to save her, Jeno would be the one who helped her escape a deadly fate only made her appreciate the good that was hidden in the rough. As much as she'd like to forget that horrible incident, she knew just how much more guilt Jeno felt every time he brought it up. It still kept him up, and as much as you wanted to heal from the night, Jeno as well wanted to heal from everything he had done that night. And it’s in moments like these when he speaks, you listen and allow him his moment to reflect, just as he allowed you to freely use him as much as you wanted so that you could heal. As he speaks, even though Dae has told him countless of times that she forgives him, Dae knows that every ounce of him wants to move on and feel forgiven. So she quietly sits, and listens. If he was going to forgive himself, she needed to always listen.
"The house, your house...was everything my brother and I always wanted. It was a palace, a fortress, four stories high, huge balconies, large veranda and just so homely. It was modern and even the air itself was something I'd never breathed in before. It was a home we've never had before." Jeno acknowledges. "I just wanted to see how it looked inside. I really wanted to know how the inside of a rich house looked like." Dae turns her head to him, when feeling his eyes on her. She moves between his left and right eye and he smiles. "You left a house that had more than 5 massive rooms, 2 spaciously large bathrooms and enormous backyards to literally cramp up with me in a one-bedroom apartment?"
"Spaciously is not a word and yes," Dae smiles lightly. "I left it all because it was all just material,"
Dae softly says smiling when Jeno leans closer and plants a kiss on her forehead. "Do you want something like this? Do you want materials again? Because I am promise you that I'll-"
"I only want you Jeno," She smiles when whispering softly. "I need you more than anything to survive in this world that was cruel to me. You're my home, and I really mean that. No materials on his earth can replace a soul that saved another soul,"
This time their breathing is in sync when they both embrace in a warm kiss, breathing in and out together allowing this moment to settle in. With their hands still clasped together as Jeno looks out his window to tell the guard who they are he’s stunned when the black metallic gates crank open in a slow manner and Jeno's head snaps to Dae who has her eyes on the road ahead. The gate is wide open with another path to follow, but Dae and Jeno are still in shock.
Jeno turns his head when a voice comes from the intercom. "Please move your vehicle inside the premises, Miss Yezi is waiting by the house."
“Miss Yezi?” Dae has a playful smile on her face. “Wow. I bet you she’s been treated like a princess,”
Jeno snickers while slowly driving his car past the gate and into the premises. The first thing that the couple takes note of, are the lights that are shining down on the pathway. Jeno and Dae's eyes are widely opened and are all over the large sets of trees that enclose the drive way- the long drive way with various gardened plants and flowers. It's absolutely breath taking watching the garden bloom with so much colors of wealth prosperity. In between the curvy path on the driveway, Dae's eyes look out by Jeno's side of his window to the slight view of the mansion that they were soon gonna get inside of.
Finally driving into one straight path, their view gets sidetrack by the large fountain statue of two angles pouring out water. Not only the fountain, but after passing another set of black gates that are already opened and rounding their car past the fountain, the lavish sight of the ever green garden with white little flowers enclose the garden really making the mansion seem like a heavenly fortress.
The houses theme is white. There are high pillars towards the front entrance of the house as well as arched pillars on each side that lead to different roads. Behind the pillars stand 3 large structures of the fortified mansion. The middle portion is the largest with a high double deck structure where all the windows are top to ceiling and are covered with gossamer curtains. The side building structures that are still connected to the middle portion are identical in terms of design and the layers of floors.
Stopping the car right by the side of the path, Jeno's mouth hangs open, not closing at the slightest. "At this point, your dad is trying to show off,"
"You don't say," Dae is marveled by the sight, that she doesn't notice her sister who walks down the lit up stairs heading towards their car.
Yezi's eyebrows furrow when neither of the people in the car get out. She stands there for a bit before walking towards the passenger’s door and knocking twice on the window- knocking both Jeno and Dae back to their senses.
Dae removes the seatbelt and laughs lightly. "This is it,"
"This is it," Jeno nervously says. "Best of luck to us,"
"We need that," Dae leans close to her boyfriend placing a light peck on his lips before opening up her door.
"Finally." Yezi states with a snickering laugh and a smile that eagerly begins to grow. "What was taking you guys so long? After I sent the message and you didn't come right in, I had to check with the gateman and he said the car was just there. But of course knowing you and your ever stubborn behavior, I knew you wouldn't tell the gateman anything,"
"Why should I? I'm my father's daughter, I don't need to introduce myself as a guest," Dae jokes being happy to see her sister. The tears sit on the brim of her eyes, and just like Yezi they instantly embrace each other in a tight hug. Yezi whimpers and holds even tighter.
“Dae,” She sniffs and can’t stop the tears from pouring out. “You look so good, I’m so happy toyou’re your beautiful eyebrows and hair being a beautiful black,” This only makes Dae laugh.
“Don’t remind me of those times,” Dae can’t stop laughing when hugging her sister. “Seeing you, seeing this house, dad outdid himself this time in making me feel bad,"
"Oh please, don't fuel up his ego," Yezi chortles shaking her head but still holding tightly onto Dae with her eyes closed. "He barely leaves the house now,"
Dae laughs at that patting Yezi's back. "Your poor freedom is gone,"
"Oh please, I can leave the house whenever I want," Yezi jokes out laughing with Dae. "I just need to take a bodyguard with me,"
"Bodyguard?" Dae's eyes widen and leans her head back still enclosing her sister in the hug. "Fuck, things have changed,"
"Language." Yezi's eyes widen. "We now refrain from cursing, I don't want my little girl latching onto that stuff,"
"Ncawww, Areum, right?" Dae squeals getting into the hug again as they both scream like little kids. "I can't believe I finally get to see her,"
"Dae! You have no idea how much I've missed this, missed us,"
Dae leans her head back with loving eyes looking into her sister’s teary eyes. "Don't cry bitch, if you cry you know my tears will flow out as well,"
"I know, but I can't help it," Yezi chuckles before sneakily landing a kiss over her sister’s lips. Dae is stunned for a whole minute before laughing out and squeezing Yezi into a greater hug again. After a minute of laughing and saying out their 'I love you', they finally part and Yezi's eyes go down her sister’s attire. "Oh my soul you don’t know how amazed I am by your eyebrows and your hair, and your body and your health! You look nourished and healthy and soo soo good! My sister is finally back!"
Complementing Dae's healthy figure, her black hair in curly waves tucked behind her ear to show off her twinkling earrings, stunning legs in a white tight dress that ends mid-thigh, matched together with a black long sleeved turtle neck inside, white daring heels and finally a tiny white purse.
Dae's hand goes down her dress and she models for Yezi with a joking tone. "I know, I know, I tried," Dae laughs acknowledging her sister and nodding her head. Jeno can only stand by his car smiling at how gorgeous Dae looks. This was the Dae that he always admired, and now that she recovered she looked as stunning as ever.
"I'm not even one to look at, you're wearing designer? Vera Wang?" Dae's eyes marvel at the designer black sleeveless dress that showed off her toned arms and a bit of her belly. And finally the black see-through flowing skirt that has a little tight black skirt inside and is long yet has a long slit up to her thigh.
Yezi also playfully models out and flips her hair. "I knew my sister was coming today, so I had to dress to impress," Yezi laughs.
“You killed it!” Dae encourages with sass making Yezi laugh.
“No you killed it!”
“I just wish I was somebody else to admire how we both killed it,” Dae flips her hair dramatically before Yezi holds onto her sister’s hand and leading her forward.
"Wait till you-"
Dae grips onto Yezi's hand tightly before motioning back to Jeno who is calmly standing like a doorman. When noticing the eyes of the girls on him, he quickly bows his head nervously, making Dae smile brightly. “My person here inspired me to kill it. Come on Jen baby,” Dae marvels and walks to him bravely intertwining their hands. “This is my sister, Yezi,”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Yezi,” Jeno bows again maintaining a positive smile.
"Oh, hi," Yezi's tone simmers down but she tries to maintain the forced fake smile on her face. While Chenle was ready to give Jeno a chance, Yezi wasn't too fond of allowing her sister to be with a lowlife and someone who was involved in keeping them hostage. But aside that, she bows her head as well. "Wow you guys are matching." She takes in the view of Jeno's elegant face that comes out dashingly with his styled and parted hair that gives off a sense of superiority. His style of clothing consists of a white buttoned down long sleeved shirt and black suit pants with his polished dress shoes, and Yezi notes how he's standing and how humble he looks. He can try to look like them as much as he wants, but Yezi still had bitter feelings. "Well, welcome. Come on in," She smiles and stretches her hand out to the stairs leading to the mansion and eventually the people inside, that are awaiting them.
Dae stands close to Jeno, abandoning Yezi's hand to securely wrap it around Jeno's bicep. "Babe, you've got this. Just relax okay,"
When dressing up for the occasion, he thought he went overboard with the dress pants as he never wore suits too much- but seeing how Dae followed his lead and decided to dress up as well, he praises the heavens that they didn't second guess their outfit. What would've happened if they dressed in normal clothes?
Climbing up the lit up stairs together, Jeno and Dae are finally in front of the door.
The double doors are wide open and upon entering into the new ambiance of the home and removing their shoes, replacing them with the white slippers available, Jeno rubs his sweaty hands over his black pants and swallows a clump of saliva in his throat to give it some moisture. He felt like he was going to die, by the pace his heart was beating.
"Babe, you've got this," Dae encourages and holds onto the sides of his face massaging his neck. Jeno nods his head, suddenly feeling selfish. Here Dae was, giving him some air and encouragement, even though she's the one who walked out on her family and was also seeing them for the first time after years.
"You too," He holds onto her hands on his neck and smiles lightly.
Yezi watches from afar, seeing how strangely, adorable they both looked. Her sister, who she never thought could fall in love with someone who had no money, is suddenly looking up into the eyes of her lover with so much care. And the lover, Jeno, who Yezi once thought was just a sick criminal, looks like a little cute boy under the embrace of his mother. Even though she doesn't say it, and refuses to acknowledge it, deep down, they look happy and peaceful together.
Walking over to Yezi with their hands together, Yezi leads them in the house and Jeno has to keep himself from ogling at the house for too long. After passing a long corridor and walking into the entrance of the living room, Jeno's heart stops beating.
In the living room, Chenle and Chungdae stand side by side, with little Areum clinging to her grandmother's hand. When entering the living room, the first face that lights up instantly is Chungdae when seeing her gracious step-daughter who she loved the most. Her teeth are bright and so inviting that Jeno feels at peace when seeing a friendly face. Chenle on the other hand looks composed and modest- but his face morphs into shock when both Jeno and Dae get on their knees and bow down completely with their heads touching the floor.
He and Chungdae share eyes of surprise. Chenle tries not to laugh maintaining a sincere face again, just as Chungdae speaks up. "Oh, much appreciated," She says as Jeno stands and helps Dae up on her feet. The loving eyes from Chungdae and the warm smile, makes Dae want to cry by how familiar her mother's face was.
"Hi mum," Her own smile brightens up her face as she bows again, this time her head lowers slightly. Her mother is dressed in an elegant traditional styled hambok, and Dae's afraid to wrinkle or mess the dress, but when Chungdae steps forward with loving open arms and embraces Dae- Dae's can't help but wrap her arms tightly around her mother's frame "Mum," she lightly cries, laughing a little when her mother kisses her ear.
"My sweet," Breaking up the hug, Chungdae squeezes Dae's cheek and let's her go before looking to Jeno.
Jeno awaits for the smile to wither from her face, but is surprised when it's still there. "Good afternoon madam," Jeno bows down in a 90-degree angle, thinking that when he looks up her smile would've disappeared, however, when it's still on her face, he's completely stunned.
"Welcome," Chungdae bows her head as well patting his shoulder. "And you can call me, Mrs Chungdae, you're welcome here. It's good to finally see the both of you,"
Chungdae steps back and turns to Chenle. Dae and Jeno fix their positions to look at Chenle. Dae is hesitant, when looking into her dad's eyes, but regardless still tries to do so. Her smile is shaking and all she feels like doing is crying. The last time she saw her dad, a lot of harsh words were exchanged- she was not even in the right state of mind for most of those times. Her smile is rocky and her eyes blur up with tears that she can't even look at her father anymore, she hangs her head in shame. Jeno from the side, feels his heart wear down when watching her silently break down in front of her dad. He breaths in and gently slides his fingers in her hand before squeezing it, for comfort and strength.
He then turns to Chenle, who still has his somber eyes on his daughter. "Good afternoon sir. Thank you for your invitation. For allowing your daughter to bring me here." Jeno bows down in a 90-degree angle humbling himself completely. Dae follows as well, bowing down with her eyes closed to maintain herself. Standing up straight again, Dae clears her throat.
"Hi dad. Thank you..." She softly speaks and her voice shakes again not being able to meet his eyes and thus bows down again- and Jeno willingly follows. "Thank you for your invitation. And I'm so sorry for everything I've done. Please can you forgive me, for all the words I’ve said, the stress I caused you and mum, the hate I spread in the house, please forgive me dad. I truly apologize for all that I’ve done, and I beg you to forgive. I said a lot of things to hurt you, but I didn’t mean any of them and I’m sorry for how I left. I’m sorry dad."
"My daughter," Chenle meekly raises his hand laying it on his daughter's head. Feeling his hand on her head, she squeezes her eyes shut to not break down again. Chenle's face is holding back so much on emotions, but it slips out when he feels the head of his daughter. "I forgive you, please don't cry. You know I don't like it when I see you cry,"
"Thank you, for this invitation," Dae stands up straight again with a smile on her face and her eyes still watery. Chenle's hand retreats but he’s taken aback by the wave of emotions that pass over him when Dae engulfs him in a hug so dear and deep. Chenle can’t resist and sets his arms over her shoulders in protection like he had always done. Finally, his daughter has returned.
Smiling when feeling her dad’s arms around, she nuzzle’s her head a little more on his chest, before she separates from him and bows her head down again. Chenle’s face is glowing with pride and excitement and he turns to Jeno who also stands straight. Chenle bows his head quietly acknowledging Jeno.
"My name is Zhong Chenle, you can call me Mr Zhong." Chenle addresses Jeno in a fluid tone, with no harshness or strictness, simple and calm. "What's your name?"
Jeno bows lightly. "Thank you Mr Zhong. My name is Lee Jeno,"
The name makes Chenle tense but he nods his head. If his daughter chose him, then he’d need to get down to the bottom of it and see why. It was up to Chenle to see how serious they were. "It's a pleasure to meet you Lee Jeno," Chenle greets and turns his head to the side, down to the little girl who just looked up with an erratic smile. "This little bean right here is Zhong Areum,"
Chenle introduces them to Yezi's daughter, making Yezi smile. Ever since Areum was born, Chenle refused for the baby to have his surname. So seeing the love traverse from him to her daughter, a flow of content joy washes over her.
"Hi mummy’s sister!" Areum chirpily greets, brightly before shyly leaning on her grandfather when Dae puffs her cheeks in delight. Chenle picks her up patting her back telling her to carry on. She waves her hand to both Jeno and Dae who wave back with big smiles.
"Areum, this is Dae, your aunty," Chenle speaks in a soft cradling voice making Chungdae laugh. "And this is Mr Lee, your aunty friend,"
Jeno doesn’t feel any jab from Chenle referring to him as a friend, but Dae does. She was hoping that her dad wouldn’t diminish Jeno into that position.
"Areum what do we do when we greet people?" Chungdae questions calmly watching Areum.
"Gwanpa, can you put me down, so I can greet?" Areum asks cutely with big eyes. Chenle sets her down patting her head.
"Of course, my little bean,"
Areum places both her hands over her stomach and dress and bows down. "Hello Miss Dae and Mr..." she quickly looks up and looks to her grandfather.
"Mr Jeno," He assists patting her head again as she returns to bowing.
"Hello Mrs Dae and Mr Jeno." She finishes her bow and does a little curtsey with her dress gaining an applaud from Chungdae, Yezi and Dae- automatically making Jeno clap his hands. In his head all he can think of is how she looks like Dae…but as a little girl. “I have a funny joke, what does a clock do when it's hungry?”
“What?” Dae smiles.
“It goes back four seconds?” Jeno asks but gets surprised when Areum begins laughing and giggling suggesting that it’s correct. That makes the family clap again, making Jeno shake his head with a little smile on his face. Chenle coo's in a baby voice.
"Aigoo, my little bean sprout is all grown up," He picks her up again with a dashing smile, before turning to Jeno and Dae. "Make yourselves comfortable, you can follow me to the dining room,"
Jeno turns to Dae squeezing her hand tighter. His nerves were still high, but upon the warm welcome and the tension sliding down because of the little baby girl, Jeno feels slightly relaxed. "This is it,"
Dae nods her head, following behind Chungdae and Yezi, who follow behind Chenle who is still carrying Areum and whispering into her grandfather's ears. "Gwanpa, is that really really mummy's sister?"
Chenle nods his head with a smile. "Yes, she’s your mummy's sister,”
"Gwanpa, if I’m a queen would that make her a princess? I wanna make her a queen because she looks nice- beautiful,” Areum corrects herself before charmingly complimenting Dae. “Why does she look beautiful?”
"Because she's my daughter," Chenle cackles a little, he never got tired of the endless questions that left her mouth or how much of a chatterbox she was. It's moments like these, where he hopes that his little granddaughter, didn't inherit any bad or foul manners from the savage rapist. She was such a passionate young and vibrant soul that Chenle easily found intriguing and alluring.
“Gwanpa, Mr Jeno looks like a prince, I think he likes her a lot and wants to become a King,”
"You should ask him if he wants to be a king," he pats her nose still answering to her questions, meanwhile thinking of all the questions he wanted to ask Jeno.
"Do you think daddy will go hard on Dae and him?" Yezi asks calmly to her mother.
"Let's hope not," Chungdae replies. "I feel like he might want to embarrass him a bit. He kept talking about that nonstop all through the night, but he did also mention how he wants to reunite with Dae again,"
Yezi groans. "Fingers crossed, it doesn't get awkward."
Meanwhile Jeno holds onto Dae's hand like he's on life support. Dae wraps her fingers tightly against his as well. "No matter how intense it gets, just answer honestly. My dad will try everything he can to belittle you, but remember what I said back in the house, don't let him break your spirit, he hasn't walked a mile in your shoes, so don't mind if he doesn't understand." She says, words that always made Jeno feel more drawn to her.
The dining room is large, and has an extremely large round circular table, with various of decorations and platters of food on a rotating stand. Areum waves her hand to her mum as one of the servants walks away with her. Jeno and Dae, wait for the family members to take a seat before finding themselves next to each other and sitting. Chenle acknowledges that and is impressed.
Dae smiles secretly, knowing that her dad loved order and discipline. And if Jeno could at least show that he was capable and worthy to dine with him, then Chenle would ease up a bit on him. He simply wanted to see how well-mannered the boy was, since he was groomed by misfortune, Chenle wanted to test out how well he could be for his daughter.
Yezi is seated on the right of her father, while Chungdae is seated on the left of her husband and Jeno and Dae sit next to each other- being in Chenle's direct eyes vision. "Shall we eat?" Chenle asks and they all take in their utensils ready to feast.
As the rounding table makes the rounds and the servants walk around the table adding little side dishes here and there, Jeno feels much more overwhelmed then starved. From the many utensils on the table, to the little plates the servants put with tiny looking leaves, Jeno places his hand underneath the table lightly placing it over Dae's leg.
She turns her head to him, seeing him panic. Calmly she leans in and begins explaining that he can eat whatever, which plates he has to put the food in and which plates he dumbs the bones and what's not. Her whispered words of encouragement don't go unnoticed by anyone at the table, especially Chenle who picks up his chopsticks and watches the pair while he eats. Much to his distaste Jeno snickers and Dae does so as well- he ignores it and clears his throat gaining their attention.
"Dae," Chenle starts.
Chungdae nervously turns to Chenle. His first target. Dae looks up and adjusts her sitting position before smiling. "Yes, dad,"
For some reason, Chenle's heart feels a little touched when hearing her say the word dad. It's been a while, a really long while. “It’s wonderful seeing you in strong health. For how long have you been clean?”
Dae clears her throat with a little smile. “2 years now.”
“Rehab or self-rehabilitation?”
Dae answers honestly. “Self-rehabilitation. Actually, the night I left home and went clubbing, I was hit by a car,” This causes all of them to look at her in worry. “I, uh. I broke some ribs and nearly lost my life because I barely had enough blood in my body. A blood transfusion was done, and when I woke up… I felt as though, a second chance of life has been given to me,”
Chenle’s heart aches hearing the story. “Why didn’t you come home after that?”
Dae briefly looks to Jeno, who offers a somber smile before rubbing her thigh. “I didn’t want to live my life like before. I felt trapped, and it wasn’t because of you,” Dae immediately clears up, holding onto Jeno’s hand. “I just, wanted to live alone for a bit.”
“A bit turned into years,” Chungdae speaks sadly but a smile regains on her face. “May I ask you this, this blood transfusion you did that saved your life, was it the young man’s blood?”
Dae nods her head with a smile. “He’s the one who helped me that night. Paid the bills, gave me blood, offered me a place to stay, he was always by my side,”
The warm tone settles upon Chungdae seeing her child look so bright and happy. “Well thank you Mr Lee for that. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have been able to see our beautiful girl.” Chungdae smiles. “Pleae enjoy the food,”
Once again, everyone begins eating in a calm atmosphere. Jeno has never eaten so slow, as well as tiny bites in his whole life, however seeing everyone eat in a slow and paced manner, Jeno adjusts himself. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Dae as she snickers here and there covering it with a little cough.
Subsiding his friendly character, Chenle has his eyes on Dae who constantly looks to Jeno. "Dae,”
“Yes?” She instantly looks away from Jeno and to her dad feeling caught. She gulps, just as Chenle prepares himself.
“I’ve tried deviating from my culture merely because I didn’t want my daughters to be bounded by tradition. I’ve given you a good life, good education and have paved a way for a future that you can maintain. The family business of architecture as well as our lifestyle, you left it all for your own self satisfying pleasure because you felt ‘trapped’. I’m assuming you have a lot to showcase for your disobedience. Have you made a name for yourself by walking over our tradition?" The question alone brings Jeno into a front line of defense. Even though Chenle was her dad, Jeno wouldn't allow her dad to walk over how hard she had worked to get to where she was now. She worked extremely hard and Jeno was ready to defend. Unconsciously. However, Chenle unaware of the set eyes on him, continues on. "How's that going? What do you do?"
Dae feels heavy by the sharp arrow that was aimed for her heart by his words. “First of all, I am grateful for all the opportunities I was able to get while being here. Second of all, I never intended to disobey you dad. But I needed to do it for a clear mindset in what I wanted to do, in where my heart felt good. And lastly, I'm a Junior Editor."
"Editor? Junior?" Chenle poses in disbelief. "That's in the writing field. Meaning you don't get paid much, as for junior, you probably don't do much. What do you write about?"
Dae breaths in and nods her head looking up to her father. "I write articles on and for the youths of today and the struggles they face."
"That's like freelancing work." Chenle sighs out trying not to make it a big deal, but he's disappointed. His daughter. His first daughter scrapping by. He glances at Jeno. "And you Mr Lee. What do you do?" Chenle slurps on the fresh vegetable in a bowl, looking already bored.
"Photography."
"Wow, another freelancer." Chenle sounds dishonored much more then disappointed, and he continues to eat his dish of food. Yezi savagely tries to hold in her laugh replacing it with a cough and quickly looking down when Chungdae shoots her a glare. The couple of Dae and Jeno briefly glance to each other in hesitancy, but regardless they eat.
Just as Chenle is about to say something else, Dae along with everybody else get surprised by Jeno's voice. "You know Mr Zhong, not to be rude, and I say this with 'respect'-" only Dae catches on to his mocking tone, and gets worried for him. "Since you brought up your culture and tradition, according to the Zhong's line of history as well as your own private company's humble beginnings, small beginnings was were you started. So pardon me if this comes out rude, but truly I don't think you've got any right to be pissed off, you also left your family to please your own self satisfying pleasure-"
Dae's eyes widen and she places her hand over his thigh. "Jeno-"
But nonetheless Jeno still continues to speak. "To be pissed off at her career would mean neglecting her small beginnings. I don’t know much about your family, but what I do know is that your family’s legacy only grew into millions of because of you. What if Dae’s small beginnings allow her to reach your peak-"
"Comparing my family's legacy and personal company with Dae's quote on quote small beginnings sounds radically obscure. Do you even know who I am? My small beginnings lasted within a year, and I've been making millions ever since. Dae's small beginnings are small beginnings on a scale of failure," Chenle starts while setting his dish down, taking the next set of food while Chungdae grumpily adds some soup for him. She didn't like how his words sounded too harsh. Meanwhile Yezi has wide eyes glancing with a shocked face at her dad and then Jeno. “So tell me Mr Lee-”
Jeno breaths out, feeling Dae sinking in shame when she looks at her food and quietly eats. "You're talking about me as if I'm not here," She mumbles. “And my small beginnings aren’t on a scale of failure, you don’t know how hard I work-”
"Your lover is the one who started with the comparisons and small beginnings. You want to be mad at the truth? Suck it up and continue to embark on your sma-"
"Honey." Chungdae warns looking at him.
Chenle sighs. He nods his head whilst eating as if he's not having the conversation. "Do you believe that she'll make it big in her field Mr Lee?"
"I believe in her."
"I didn't ask if you believe in her. Because I also believe in her. And I much more believe she has a brighter career elsewhere, but what's important now is do you believe that she'll make it big in her field?"
"Yes-"
"Dae who never ever pays attention to the news, the same girl who barely gives an ear to those less 'fortunate' then her? My daughter? That same daughter who would never be interested in anything if it wasn't about her? The same daughter who got involved in hardcore drugs- that same girl caring for people seems unusual. A journalist? On top of that a youth journalist? Youth? Smart mouths with foul brains, those youth? Those same youth? Maybe she gives you a speck of patience, but I know my daughter. Does she really love what she does or is it just some passing want from feeling trapped? Does she have tolerance and patience for others? For you? My daughter wants to do journalism? That doesn't make sense to me," Chenle states out nonchalantly yet sternly. "I've seen her writing. And although phenomenal, she'd need a spark of light in her to empathize with youths. Regardless of what you say, I know my daughter much more then you. I know she's merciful, but in the field of journalism, it'll be used against her. With her temper, she'll easily get frustrated and allow for anyone to walk over her. I can't see, or even bare my daughter within a career where she constantly has to fight,"
Dae's stunned by his words. Never ever had he ever told her why he refused for her to be a journalist, he simply had a strong distaste towards any career that had a lack of funds. "Dream crusher much dad?" Dae chuckles sadly to cover up the pain.
"Dae, are those even dreams? To waste yourself away behind a screen writing for others? Dae. I'm…” Chenle refrains from using the words disappointed, but he’s already hinting at it. “I’m trying to understand. Why- why, why a journalist?"
Dae looks up to her dad in disbelief. "Because I’m a spoilt rich girl who’s gone through an experience that fucking changed my life forever. I left a house of riches to dwell in a place where it’s dark with no light. Why a journalist? Because in that dark dwelling place, I fucking saw a light and I wanted to fucking empathize-"
"Language Dae." Chungdae softly peeps being uncomfortable by all the slurs.
Dae stops and takes a deep breath. "I'm doing this because it gives my heart peace knowing that no one, especially a youth has to feel like they’re alone and that their futures are jokes. I’m saying the truth of my life to reach people in dark-"
"Truth?" Chenle scoffs. "In the world we live in? Truth and people don't go together, because this world loves to be blinded. It’s why the rich are rich and the poor are poor, those who have eyes don’t help those who can’t see. Today a journalist would rather break an untrue story and say an apology later, they could break thousands of hearts, but one apology and everyone forgets. You're telling me you haven't seen those cases?"
"I've noticed that lately."
"You can spend years putting together a story to help someone see the light, only for some toddler with a social media account to just tweet it out, with low grammatical words. As for professional objectivity, try maintaining that while competing against teens dancing at the news, or on TikTok and what not, and in the rare case let's say you do get a real story, you will be backlashed because all you did was your job. The truth hurts and rubs on people the wrong way."
"So what are you saying dad?" She asks seriously trying not to be discouraged. Jeno, places his hand on Dae's thigh, running his hand up and down as a way to calm her down.
"I'm saying." Chenle stops setting up his bowl to look at his daughter. "As my daughter, it's really my desire that if there is anything else you see yourself doing, do that instead." Chenle ends the discussion without much say, getting his next bowl. "You’re smart and if you want people to see the light, use your intelligence to-”
"Mr Zhong, I really do apologize if I'm being rude," Jeno interrupts not being able to be calm anymore, especially after noticing Dae's sagged shoulders. Truly Mr Zhong was a businessman with ideals and head on strong facts. However, that could never beat how much effort and change that Dae has put in. Which is why, Jeno with resilient courage speaks up for Dae. "I hate to break it to you, but the Dae that left your house years ago, isn't the Dae sitting in front of you. Her intelligence has changed and she’s adapted to street smarts too. I agree that Journalism isn't possibly the career that you invasion your daughter in, but she's similar to you in many ways. You started out with a master’s degree in Research, you left Research to join your family’s legacies of Doctors, before leaving it all together and had to dump it all including your family to finding out what you really wanted to do. But I digress, how can you put her down when I read that you even went as low as being a brick man and laying bricks for a living? You eventually decided you wanted a career in construction. Humble beginnings should never be neglected. If you didn't disqualify yourself, why discourage her, your own daughter? And if you're talking about money, then let me I’ll say it now, she makes money more than me-"
"Are you giving me street psychology now?"
Jeno breaths in deeply smirking a little when seeing a challenging look in her father’s eyes. "Street psychology makes you learn lessons the hard and painful way. Being rock bottom teaches you of success that being rich can’t. I've been with her ever since she left your home, so I know what I'm talking about when I say she's had a fall from your grace. But look at her now," Jeno turns to her, throwing a little smile and lightly patting her cheek (causing Dae to smile a little) before turning to Chenle, who even stopped eating to firmly be attentive to Jeno after publicly displaying such a manner. "I too, worry about the giant dumpster fire of twiddling toddler's, but I also don't care about that and I know she doesn't care about that. She writes for a living you know, she's always been writing and has tweaked her personalities here and there to adapt to the life that she's wanted. And if she can write a piece that has touched an orphaned boy's heart and stopped him from spiraling down into a dark path of drugs, then I know and have the belief that she's broken through the noise you’re projecting. I don't know why she isn't saying it now, but she always says, she wants to make a difference in all the ways that she can. That’s a fucking huge commitment if you ask me. And I'm not trying to take your place or anything like that, but even if she does fails in her projects, I’m here for you no matter how many times. You haven't been there for her, so you don't have that right to criticize or be disappointed in her achievements so far. I’m saying all this respectfully. I don't mean to sound rude or come of impolite, but the truth is the truth, and it can rub you the wrong way, so swallow it like a bitter pill."
“Well said, you’re the one living with her.”
Dae has a warm look in her eyes when looking to Jeno, her boyfriend, her choice, her messed up but one of the many right choices. How passionate he's been in defending her, whether it was to someone he never knew or someone she knew, and not allowing anyone, not even her dad, to walk over her. He's made it clear, time and time and time again, how he won't let anybody ever talk down on her or disrespect her. And its kind of alarming for Dae that Jeno just said all that while being ‘respectful’.
It's tensely silent with Chenle paying mind to his food instead, Chungdae and Yezi holding in their breaths, Dae smiling while eating on her meet- and Jeno returning back to his senses and freaking out. "Fuck." He mumbles, but instantly feels Dae's hand on his thigh. He turns his head seeing her reassuring smile. She mouths out a sweet thank you. It's enough to subside his irrational thoughts and focus on how calm she is.
Chungdae smiles when noticing the adoring look in Dae's eyes. Chungdae faces Chenle and picks up another bowl of rice before placing it before him. He looks to her, still eating his own bowl of meat and soup, and as if being summoned by the rice Chungdae lightly grins, and nudges her head towards Jeno and Dae. Chenle takes a look for himself, his eyes catching a sight too traumatic and so heartbreaking.
Dae looking at Jeno, the same way she used to look at him as a child. As a father, his child will always be his child. No matter how irrational, no matter how unclear, no matter how confusing she might be, even when she's falling in love with a foe, she's still his daughter. His first daughter. His first love whom he loves with all his heart. He doesn't know what's the name of the emotion that covers his whole heart when seeing Jeno, an unknown peasant briefly gazing at his precious daughter with stars in his eyes. And his daughter equally having eyes of fierce approval. He doesn’t like it, but he can’t put down how real it looks. He looks at Chungdae the same way too. And that scares Chenle because he doesn’t want her to marry such a guy.
She just came back home. His heart doesn't want to see her go just yet, especially not to a man who he still isn't too sure about. "Mr Lee."
Jeno peeks up and sits up. "Yes sir- I mean Mr Zhong,"
Chenle breathes out. "Are you treating this such as an interview?"
"Interview?"
"Seeing as though you've read my biography and probably Wikipedia, you seem to think that you have an understanding of my background," Chenle drinks a glass of water, firmly gazing into Jeno's stunned eyes. "Is that true?"
Jeno clears his throat, fumbling with his lips before nodding his head. "To be honest sir, I've known your work. The apartment my family and I lived in when we were little was actually designed by you."
"You could afford it?"
"Dad." Dae's shoulder slump.
Surprisingly Jeno chuckles. "It's okay babe- Dae, I mean." He quickly corrects himself, before turning back to Chenle. "I couldn't afford it, but my old man could....sort of. We lived with another family, so although tightly cramped, we all fit in together. To get back to you, being in that complex for a very short period of my childhood was sincerely the most mind blowing experience of my life."
"How so?" Chenle tilts his head. "And which complex was it? Situated where?"
"It's was called Clearview Water Hill. Situated in Goum NC."
Chenle nods his head. "I recall, it was amongst my first private building going public for government uses. It was labeled to be for the rich."
"To be honest, I felt rich as a young boy. The walls, corridors, rooms, even the water was so different. Not only that, but my dad was a construction worker so we watched a lot Construction channels. I had seen you appear time to time on tv. So regarding to me researching about you, I didn't have to do much except read it from Dae's pieces. The things I know about you are actually words Dae had written in her article pieces. She spoke extremely highly of you, it even gave off an impression that being in your presence is surreal. And it is… if I’m being honest."
Chenle is astonished (just when his mind slowly began to wonder if his daughter wanted to replace him), as his quick mind reflex suddenly pauses. His eyes turn from a sharp stare, to being enlightened. "You wrote a biography about me?"
"You used dad for clout?" Yezi laughs a little.
"What's clout?" Chenle asks, causing Yezi and Dae to snicker.
"It's slang dad," Yezi giggles.
Dae runs her hand through her hair swinging it back. "Not necessarily a biography, but advice on how to solidly build a future, brick by brick. I paid almost all my references to you and how successful you've been in paving the way brick by brick for your future,"
Chenle's face remains unchanged, yet Chungdae is in awe because she knows that Chenle is catching butterflies. Yezi is the one to voice it out. "Dae I told you not to boost his ego,"
This snaps Chenle out and he begins laughing. A sound which jolts Jeno out from his crave for the meat. His reaction makes Yezi laugh inwardly.
"Before I feel too honored. I still have to read what you wrote," Chenle remarks. "Word count?"
"2,500."
"Blog?"
"No, it's an article."
Chenle nods his head, shuffling in his seat bringing out his phone. "Name of website?"
"NationsWide,"
"Hmm," Chenle nods his head in approval. He's silent when scrolling through his phone, going through the about page and finding out the ratings of the website. Although it has a 8.8 out of 10 rating due to faulty writers and time consuming management, it has a high rating when it comes to work pieces. "It's a big shot company."
Dae finds herself smiling gladly turning to Jeno who pats her head- forgetting one of the rules that Dae put in place to not make any unnecessary physical contact. But she's happy non the less. “What’s the title?”
“I’m bad with titles, by it’s called Future Bricks Are Better Then Past Bricks.”
“It’s too long girl,” Yezi comments.
“I told her that too,” Jeno remarks smiling ligtly.
“Hey, I like it sounds good,” Dae cutely puffs her cheeks tempting Jeno to kiss her cheek, but he refrains from doing so.
Chenle searches up the title and immediately is impressed when seeing 5 stars in gold next to her article. That's his girl. He nods his head, as a smile crawls up his lips. "5 stars Dae, good job."
Her heart feels good. If it took Chenle simply reading from her article, then it would’ve saved time from Jeno backing her up. It's always difficult to get a reaction or compliment from him, so getting an actual reaction makes her feel joyous. Especially for something that he complained about minutes ago. In his silence of taking interest and suddenly reading his daughter's piece, Chungdae takes it as a cue to speak to Dae and Jeno.
"Are you two living together?" She smiles, causing a smile to grow on Jeno's lips as well.
"Yes,"
"Oh," Chungdae is a very traditional woman and always counters culture over modern society. So hearing that Dae and Jeno live together without having gotten married is a bit...it makes her feel uncomfortable for them. "Living together is such a huge commitment. It requires both of you to have an entanglement that you'll never leave each other,"
Jeno already being informed by Dae that her mother had the tendencies of being culturally educated, clears his throat in answering. "If it sets your heart as ease, we sleep in different rooms...to prevent us going too fast,"
"In going too fast, I assume you're talking about children?"
"Mum?" Yezi chokes on her food. "Please not that conversation, people are eating."
Okay," Chungdae nods her head letting out a little laugh with a hint of ease settling over. "That does set my heart at ease. I'm sorry if this makes you feel uncomfortable but, may I inquire about your financial status Jeno? You mentioned photographer, right?"
"Right," Jeno nods his head.
“Could you tell me more about it?”
"Uhm, mainly I work as an advertising photographer, so I range from models, to houses, to products even nature. So as a whole, I guess that’s stock photography. I have side jobs here and there as part time so yeah," he nervously peeks at Chenle wondering if he'd get pissed. However Chenle isn't even looking or paying attention to them, but instead continues to read, paying his whole mind to the article he's reading. He’s nearly done reading, but his ears also give an ear to hear the conversation.
"Hm." Chungdae nods her head. "Well, it's something. Who supports financially?"
"I pay house rent and Jeno buys our necessities," Dae mentions. But is unaware of Chenle's sharp gaze.
"Excuse me?" He suddenly perks up. "You're paying the rent?"
"Our apartment is under my name so-"
"Because of his felony charges?" Chenle perkily asks to which Dae shakes her head.
"Felony exceeds one year, so no. And he doesn't have a felony charge. It's because of his prison record of 10 months."
"And you're proud to say that?" Chenle mumbles doubtfully while shaking his head, continuing to read. Whilst Chungdae continues to ask Jeno, some more basic questions such as if he's religious, has siblings, has parents, if they know about Dae and his relationship- so on. Some questions Dae had never heard the answers to, as Jeno would completely ignore her or change the subject. Questions pertaining to his family. She never knew his dad died...no wonder he always made dark jokes about not having any.
"Meaning you're much closer with your mother right?" Chungdae questions with a sympathetic smile.
Jeno throughout all the questions that he doesn't want to answer he kept his head down and occasionally looked up from his food- even going on to eating more just to avoid the question or staying silent to ignore. But not knowing Chungdae, he isn't expecting her to nag on and on, and not wanting to make Dae's mother upset or cause Chenle to pin him out again he answers. "She kicked me and my brother out when we were teens."
"Now we’re getting somewhere." Yezi mumbles while folding her arms. "Who's your brother again? Was it-"
"Mark." Jeno stuffs his mouth again. Dae knowing that not only is he (slowly) getting enraged by the endless questions, she also knows how much he hates talking about his family.
So being alert she clears her throat. "Okay, mum I think you've got a pretty broad idea of who he is now,"
Chungdae smiles meekly. "You know Dae, when I first met your dad-"
Much to Yezi's disappointment, who hated this story with a passion (due to the fact that in her mind Chungdae was still considered a side woman) gets up going to look for her baby. "I'm going to check on Areum."
Meanwhile Chenle sets his phone down when he's done reading. Impressed with what he’s read, he approves by giving it a rating.
"As I was saying. When I first met him, he was already self-made, financially stable and had a big job. Everything was already there. However, he didn't tell me any of that. And I, didn't have a clue on who he was at the time. Meaning to say, I didn't have a pretty broad idea of who he was until I found out the basics as: what his beliefs were, what his priorities were, what his family thought of him, what he thought of himself deeply and what flaws made him human. Only when I found out all those things, was I... almost ready to be with him." A masked smile comes on her face. The type of smile that's ready to offend but not wanting to seem blunt. "Jeno, you seem like a fine young man right now. However, I'm worried that it might not be who you are when you're outside of our house. I don't know how you treat my daughter-"
"Mum-"
"Let your mother talk." Chenle blinks once turning back to Chungdae. This was supposed to be a grilling session for him to get to know Jeno. Yet with the way Dae gazes upon Jeno's face, worries Chenle. His heart isn't used to seeing this gob struck look of so called love on her face. Especially since he just met her. It's been years, so he doesn't want to cause tension that'll make her leave again.
It's better Chungdae does it and Dae listens, rather then him doing it and never seeing Dae again.
Up till now, and with the way that Jeno spoke on Dae's behalf on something that she was 'passionate' about, Chenle just doesn't like the idea of his daughter already being tethered to a man.
She still has a long life ahead of her, however being in a relationship limits her life and choices- oh gosh especially on her financial status. He wants his daughter to enjoy life to the fullest. And Jeno can't give her all that.
All that he can give her is words wrapped in love. And he doesn't want that for his daughter. His daughters deserved much more than cheap love and words.
"She has a point. The least you can do, is listen." Chenle says again a bit softly when looking into Dae's eyes. Dae inwardly groans, yet when turning her gaze to Chungdae she sighs with an upset face.
"Even though I didn't give birth to her, I know who she is. And I'm not trying to poke holes in your bubble but I am saying that you're from two different worlds. Two completely separate worlds. You won't clash on a lot of things. And right now, as happy and giddy as this relationship has been, remaining faithful together or even growing together won't be that easy. Jeno, judging from your lack of family touch, and your upbringing from your brother, I'm not too comfortable with my daughter being down below with you. I do see your passion and will to have a better life, but it might not be enough. Right now, I can most likely hope for your future to be filled with growth. Because I don't think it'll be easy. Based on your foundation, of how you both met, I'm still a bit... hesitant in accepting you. I just don't want this to end in foulness."
The silence lingers in the air with both couples, Chenle and Chungdae gazing at both Jeno and Dae. Jeno sets his empty bowl down having being full and listening to all the advice. Dae places her hand on his knee and he sighs. "If I'm completely honest Mrs Zhong, you're right."
Dae peeks her eyes to Jeno, hoping that what he’d say would contradict his statement.
"I do feel out of place at times when I'm with her. I feel that she deserves much better than me. Much much better than me. When driving here I even said that she left a mansion to cramp up with me in a little apartment. Look, I can't understand this, but I really really like your daughter and think that... she can do much better than me." Jeno nods his head agreeing. "But every time I think about her, or me, or, of us being together, I think of how much we've been through. It's true we met in uncanny circumstances but... The fact that she made the biggest sacrifice to stay with me, even though I gave her countless of reasons to leave, she still wanted to be with me, and that gives me the chills. Because she left your world, her world to be...in my world. And I can see where your concerns are, believe me when I say we've had this talk one too many times, but we always come to the same conclusion." His hand securely holds onto hers on top of his knee. "Only time will tell, if really this will work out, but I believe that when I stopped comparing her life before and her life now, it's made my head clear. And when she stopped seeing me as just that guy who broke into her house, we gathered a mutual understanding."
"What conclusions have you come to?" Chenle asks softly, his eyes on Dae yet he asks Jeno, because Dae's eyes are still on him.
Jeno clears his throat. "The conclusion that we're both humanly real and not perfect. And we can't be perfect, but if we keep trying to understand and love each other than yeah. I never knew how to manage my account and all that shi- stuff, but Dae's been really adamant on teaching me. I never knew how to cook. I only lived off by water and bread, but she knows and has taught me so many great dishes, especially the Chinese ones. I never mediated or did yoga before, but with her, every morning we're both up and yoga-ering as a way to restore our mental health. I've never been good at getting attention or knowing how to market, but Dae's a real professional at that and has helped me market my work. Not only to say she's an important aspect of my life, but she came from recovering from overdosing, not that I helped much but I made sure she worked out, ate healthy, spoke her thoughts, gave her a change of scenery, made sure she always saw the sun… I mean, if I also have to list the bad stuff, I can just say, she doesn't know how to keep her stuff organized. Always cluttered, everywhere and plain right messy- respectfully messy-"
"That's true." Chungdae chortles.
"But she's been improving, she now puts the toothpaste back in its case, instead of living it open and on the toilet seat. Not only that, but she used to stress so much so that she never slept, always up at night and working, but along the days I used to show her that she's got enough time to drop he shoulders, breathe, to unclench her jaw, to meet people who will understand her instead of being a kiss ass, to rest without feeling guilty, enough time to try as well as fail, to change paths, to close her eyes, to sleep and rest, to do so many things that she wants to do, her life is long. Another thing, she never knew how to be active, she's ambitious, but lacks the effort to actually move to get things done, she's always online. Yes she does yoga, but she always sat down behind her screen or desk slouching and writing, but now I can genuinely say she's keeping fit by constantly jogging, she exercises as well, and can throw a punch for self-defense, not to say I taught her how to be violent, but for a lady in her form I'm pretty proud that she can throw a man twice her size over her shoulder."
"I did it to him," Dae marvels cheerfully.
"I simply taught her what I know and she taught me what she knows. We're both taking the good in our lives and presenting it to each other trying to make our lives better and throwing the bad away. We read the newspapers together, watch the news, read psychology books and talk to each other and learn about each other. Because I love her and just want her to be happy without any restraints. We are both new to this love, so we're learning with each other not only how to receive love, but also how to give love. You know, she expresses herself through writing, she always writes, she struggles in speaking up for herself or formulating the right words for the right moment, thus it's why she used to be condescending and using her privileges to walk over people. But now, I don't know why she's not doing it now, but she gradually speaks and pushes herself to be genuine and understanding. Mrs Zhong, I understand that you don't trust me with your daughter, but I'm telling you honestly that I'm careful and gentle with her. I don't want to hurt her again, or even allow myself to lose her to a successful man who's got everything. I want to be everything for her. I'm working my ass off in getting to where I want to be, and making sure that she's happy and securely in her field. I don't have it now but I know that I'll get it. I'm trying my hardest, I'm putting my all and investing literally my whole life into this. I don't know what you want, but your daughter is here and she chose me, I can promise you that I won't put your family to shame."
Mr Zhong's ears are perked at Jeno's whole plea. He can see the ambition and drive in his eyes.
"Can I be honest with you right now." Chenle starts being equally respectful as Jeno has been. "I disliked you because you were poor and seemed unable. But. After reading what I've read, I can say that the Dae sitting before me, isn't the Dae with qualities that the world would reject like before. I'm still not for this relationship. But if I can at least have my daughter willingly help others, as well as herself, it gives you, Mr Lee, a mark in my books. It shows me how much you're invested in her. And another thing, if you, Dae, can't be pushed away from following your dreams, I think you'd be an excellent journalist."
"Thanks Dad," Dae smiles looking with admiration at her dad, causing Chenle to return the genuine smile.
"Keep writing pieces about me though," Chenle grins.
"Don't boost his ego," Yezi chuckles covering her face.
"Are you still hungry Jeno? Don't be shy if you want another round," Chungdae speaks up when seeing Jeno look at all the empty dishes. "There's plenty casseroles in the cuisine."
"Oh, no it's okay." Jeno smiles shyly. "Thank you Mr Zhong, and Mrs Zhong for the food. It was delicious,"
"I'm surprised you complimented Dae's cooking." Chungdae laughs before turning back and calling one of the maids names to come and remove the food. "Dae fights a lot when it comes to spices, especially with chili,"
"Well mother," Dae has a smug face. "Jeno here doesn't mind the spice or chili. He likes it hot,"
Jeno teasingly mumbles for only Dae to hear. "We're still talking about the food right?"
She playfully hits his thigh before turning to her mum. "I know what he likes to eat,"
"Honestly if you ask me, I still find it weird how you're with him." Yezi comments when the laughter dies down. Dae's jaw clinches but she eats on her rice (that she asked one of the maid to leave for her) remainign silent. But that's not the case for Yezi who glances up at her sister. "It's strange because I know you, and I know that this is not the type of guy you'd quote on quote fall in love with."
"Yezi." Chungdae calls out calmly, with intentions of warning her.
Chenle nods his head setting down his chopsticks when he's done swallowing a lump of meat giving his plate away to the maids. "No, Yezi's right. It's strange to see this, no disrespect to you Mr Lee, but it seems like Stockholm syndrome."
"That's so unfair. We just finished that discussion." Dae mumbles glaring at her sister and dad. "It's not-"
"I know," Chenle nods his head with a gentle smile. "With the way he's spoken about you, my ideas of him shifted. Perhaps it's not a forced love. I just need to get used to the idea of seeing you with him. That's all,"
"You can't force him down our throats, we still have to get to know him," Yezi comments.
"So Jeno, how about I get to know you more. If it's possible, drop me an email on your availability and I'll set up a date for you to come to my company."
Jeno's eyes widen. "Really?"
"I wanna see how good you are at your work of photography. There's some houses that will be completed within a week from now and I need some photographs. Will you be interested?"
Jeno gulps nodding his head. "Yes sir- I mean Mr Zhong."
"Good. Now if we all may, there's a resting area waiting for us,"
S1: EP14-16
22:48
"I can't believe you lied to my mum that we sleep in different rooms," Dae chuckles when entering the comforts of their shared room turning around to eye Jeno who unbuttons his shirt.
Jeno has a smug look on his face before tilting his head. "I mean, it's sorta true. I told you to take the other room, but somehow you’re always here even though your stuff is there,”
"That’s because it’s lonely sleeping alone.” Dae smiles when kissing his lips. “But still, I don’t know if she bought that.”
“If she did, then it’s best if we keep it under the wraps of how much of a freak you are in my room, in bed.” Jeno lightly chuckles, watching Dae walk backwards while running her hands up her body giving him teasing eyes.
“Regardless, I'm glad it went well.” She notes as she removes her shoes and gathers some wet wipes to clean off her makeup. “Gosh I'm so happy it went well. Seeing my dad and mum and Yezi and Areum was such a serene moment that I’ll never forget.”
Jeno removes both his blazer and buttoned down shirt turning to Dae who’s removing her makeup. “They were welcoming, I’m glad you invited me to experience this experience with you. Seeing you with your family only brought peace to my soul. At least you’re reunited with your family again, your mum, dad, sister…and even that little child. Although, I won’t lie, I’m surprised that your sister…kept that child,” Jeno tries to say without saying it. “It’s just odd,”
“I know,” Dae finishes cleaning the makeup off her face and applying some cream before she stretches her arms moving to the night stand lamp turning it on. “But you know what, she’s still my baby sister’s baby and I’m a proud aunt who gets babysitting rights.” Dae smiles brightly. “I just can't express it in words. I'm so happy right now." Dae smiles and bites her lip innocently. "Hey. Can you help me undo my dress?" Dae moves to the bed sitting down a little bit too exotically but Jeno still makes his way towards her.
Holding onto her calf, he kisses on her knee smiling before trapping her in between his body as he gets on the bed. “You’re so happy you’re getting turned on, I think this will be a problem,” Bending his head down, he softly smudges plentiful kisses along the side of her neck, licking and biting on her soft skin. He groans when Dae's hand secretly finds its way down his covered member and palms him soothingly.
"You forgot to tell my dad how good you make me feel,"
"Is that so?" Jeno rhetorically asks leaving envelope kisses on her collarbone whilst undoing the back of her dress. "Should've told him how well you suck me off,"
Dae giggles when her dress becomes loose, allowing her freedom to remove her arms and then her turtle neck- only resting in a corset and bra. Her lips crash onto his as he mouths his way down her neck undoing the strings of her corset. Having his warm fingers on her skin arouses her body to beg for him. She feels his big hands going behind her back unclipping her bra.
"Is this okay?"
"Mmh," She whispers. “Just do it,”
He continues to mouth his way up her body, her warmth on his tongue when he kisses her again. He strokes her heavy tits. Just as her lips find his again, the taste lingering of the wine present making her suck more on his tongue as he unbuttons his pants and lowers them together with his boxers already revealing his hard on. “I’m happy it all went well, because it means that they’ve given me permission to take you all the time,”
In one swift move he picks her up placing her on his shaft, as they both stare into each other’s eyes strings of moans leave their lips. Upon giving her time to adjust to his member, with her eyes fixed on his own lustful eyes give him the go that she’s ready, and he pounds himself hard once into her core earning him a blissful moan. He comes out slow before, going in hard again and then coming out slow. It becomes a cycle of himself going in and out until he’s sure that she’s okay. Within a second after ensuring, his body presses into her own skin loving the bounce of her breast. His eyes never leave hers, just as his slow passionate thrust becomes heavy and more impactful. His hips bucking into her, rampaging inside of her, her wetness invites and envelopes him with every coming in. Her eyes shut, with her hands on his shoulders, allowing him to do all the heavy lifting. She feels as though she might fly off him with every thrust he engraved into her.
She’s breathlessly moaning out at the top of her lungs, her head thrown back, just as his arms grip onto her waist, humping and grunting every time. She’s moaning out his name, calling out to him eagerly and passionately only making him grow harder inside of her. “Jen- fuck Jeno don’t stop, ah don’t stop~” He’s panting, holding her tight while his stamina takes over him and he holds her into him, allowing her movements and his to be fluid, going up and down, moving together.
She was his first and every time he’d get at it with her, he always felt the same as the first time. Special. He loved being inside her, how she made him feel. Under her skin and inside his head, he can’t help but press her into him hugging her tight as he pounds into her, his eyes on solely on her. Even though the struggle to keep her eyes open, his eyes are on her loving her every expression. She was so beautiful that he didn’t even know what to do.
When they both cum into each other, she’s left shaking on his member from the pleasure and that makes Jeno laugh. “I love when your legs do that, was it good?”
“Mhm,” She moans and slowly rides him circling her hips and bouncing lightly on him again. It goes on for another round, until they're both panting on the bed fully naked with steamy smiles. Jeno groans and curses out when Dae disappears underneath the blanket with a giggling laugh. “Fuck, are you not tired?” Jeno pants, feeling her mouth wrap around his shaft. “You don’t have to do it-”
Aside from having intercourse, the one thing Jeno didn’t ask for was blow jobs. Not only did it remind him of what his brother did to her, but he was afraid that her mentality consumed the behavior from the trauma she dealt with when Mark made her suck him off. Continuing to suck and blow, Dae doesn’t stop bobbing her head and taking him whole. For her, it allowed her to have control over the situation, rather than thinking that she had no power of her own. Jeno's muscles tense with pleasure before his legs are shaking again and she swallows his release laughing out in delight. Aside from them getting together, another thing that solidified them was how she broke his v-card and that for every time that they’d do it, he always felt attached to her and allowed her all the power she wanted with him.
"I'm going to shower," Dae gets off the bed being breathless, skimpily jogging seductively to the bathroom before peeking at Jeno who's eyes latch with adoration, she speaks up. "You should join me,"
"I'm coming," he smiles tiredly. Getting up from the bed stretching his arms, he picks up his own towel walking towards the bathroom however stops when hearing a faint knock on the door. He checks the time, frowning when it's late into the night.
He walks quietly to the door wrapping his waist with the towel. His eyes searching through the peephole. His eyes widen when noticing a familiar figure lighting up a cigarette.
Jeno ducks from the door when the figurine sends his fist flying to the door knocking on it. "Hello?"
Mark?
The person knocks for a while on, still smoking his cigarette. Jeno still ducked is confused and gets startled by Dae walking into the living room with a grin. "They you are,"
"Shh," Jeno mumbles with a panicked voice.
Dae's brows furrow. "Who's there?"
"Uh, I'm looking for someone,"
Dae suddenly hears the voice outside. She was asking Jeno, but hearing the answer come from outside she's perplexed. Looking back to Jeno who's chest goes up and down, she moves closer carefully. It seems he's hiding from someone. "Who're you looking for?"
"Does Lee Jeno, Lee Jeno live here?"
"Uhm.." Jeno sharply shakes his head in panic and Dae catches on. "I'm sorry but it's past midnight, and Lee Jeno doesn't live here,"
"Are you sure about that? Hey, please can you open the door. I'm a relative of his."
"I said Lee Jeno doesn't live here. Can you please leave before I call the police."
It's silent on the other hand before the man speaks again. "Fine, I'll come back in the morning. Let him know." Dae's about to speak in confusion but the person speaks again. "Tell him Mark came by. His brother. Alright. I'm going."
"Brother?" Dae quietly whispers and her eyes enlarge. Feeling exposed as though being ripped of her robe, Dae securely grips on her robe trembling back. "Jeno..." She pants out. "Was that, M-Mark?"
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"I went to the address you gave me. Some woman was there, said he didn't live there." Mark yawns laying back on the ground next to Donghyuck who's looking up to the stars. "And what're you doing here bro?"
Laying down on the green freshly trimmed grass Donghyuck groans and opens his eyes. "I'm not your bro man. You shot me and my brother."
"You're still at that? Let the past be the past. Now that we’re both out, we should be looking out for each other," Mark chortles.
Donghyuck shakes his head. “I never got a proper apology from you,”
Mark fidgets around trying to find a good position. "I'm sorry for shooting at you and your bro. I keep saying that I thought that maybe it was the end for us. You weren't moving and we needed to go. At least shooting at you would permit them to focus on you while I escaped."
Donghyuck turns to Mark with frisky eyes. "You fucking say that with confidence."
"I'm sorry man." Mark apologizes lowly having a smirk on his face. "Should've had your back."
"Whatever." Donghyuck mumbles and sighs out. "Anyway. I saw that address in Officer Park’s visitation book. It literally said Jeno's residence, so I assumed it's where Jeno lives."
"The apartment looks too fire for Jeno. I don’t even think he lives there.” Mark scoffs. “Then again, it wouldn’t be so bad crashing with him.”
"Your brother seems to be in good terms with the police, he occasionally speak to his Parole Officer, Officer Na. So, I don’t wanna crash there." Donghyuck shrugs his shoulders not interested in talking about Jeno. "D'you find a job yet?"
"None. I just came out last week and am not willing to go back, but my patience is wearing thin on doing things the quote on quote right way." Mark sighs. "It's why I'm out here sleeping with you in a park like a homeless kid."
"I’m actually homeless dude." Donghyuck snickers lightly.
"Nah, your mum can take you back any time. You're just choosing not to go. Stubborn."
Donghyuck scoffs. “The day I stepped into prison was the day my family and loved ones began their ‘prison’ time as well. My bad decisions caused me to be separated from my family for years. Life for my family still went on and they had to learn how to navigate through the ups and downs without me. The harsh reality of losing my freedom was that I could not truly help my loved ones in times of need compared to as if I were present. It was a bitter pill to swallow knowing that I had also sealed their fate by my own hands. When I was there with them, I felt so out of place. I don't know how many years have passed, but her and Renjun are like an oil machine. They're so tight together and it makes me feel honestly like a fuck up son and brother. A fucking loser who only goes over when he’s hungry. I..Just left." Donghyuck finds himself honestly opening up. "Life would be better if I wasn't around them. And besides, I see her at work..."
After coming out of prison, he honestly tried to get back in his mum's good books, but it seemed really pressuring. Especially with Renjun ignoring him and pretending he doesn't exist. Donghyuck could feel the tension in the air whenever he was around them and he hated that. Even though he didn't want anything to do with Mark ever again, they surprisingly found each other again. Mark came out of prison by probation and was constantly kept on a leash. So obviously when he found Donghyuck under a large oak tree in a secluded park, he knew that his friend had been staying out of trouble, and joining him wouldn’t be so bad.
“But come one man, don’t you miss having a bed?” Mark asks. “We could crash at Jeno’s place until we get some shit together,”
“You do that. He’s your brother.” Donghyuck mutters. “And judging from the fact that he hasn’t contacted you should tell you that he may not be looking forward to reuniting with you. You said you heard a chick?”
“Yeah,” Mark mumbles. “She was like, Lee Jeno doesn’t live here. But I knew she was lying,”
Donghyuck chuckles lightly. “Well if that’s the case, and he’s got a girlfriend or something, he won’t let you back in easily,”
Mark groans. “I’m his fucking brother,”
“That’s what I said about Renjun, and he hates my guts,”
“Nah that boarder jumper-”
“He’s a citizen now,”
“Wow,” Mark snickers. “Either way, he was never your brother to begin with,”
For some reason that hurts Donghyuck, because he slowly started considering Renjun as a brother and everything he did was always for his mother as well as Renjun’s wellbeing. And despite being in okay terms with his mum, he also wanted to get back on Renjun’s good books. “Well if you wanna get back with your brother, I suggest getting him to sympathize over you because if he’s anything like Renjun, he won’t let you in his house,”
“That’s some brother,” Mark shakes his head. “But it’s cool, I’ll stay with you,”
Mark doesn't want to say it, but it's evident that they only have each other. While Mark didn't want to lose the friend he had, Donghyuck wanted to stay away as far as possible from him. “I thought maybe getting myself in an accident, like breaking my arm or starving myself, would have them take me in easily. But no, they’ve got stone cold hurts. But the little I know of Jeno, if you hurt yourself he could take you in,” Donghyuck plants the seed into Mark’s head. Now he’s just hoping Mark will take the bait.
It's why before dawn, before the sun comes out of its blanket, Donghyuck awakes early and gets ready for his day by simply wearing his leather jacket. His eyes go over to Mark before getting up and heading to his day job.
His mum was kind enough to buy him 2 extra pairs of trousers as well as 2 clean shirts, and Donghyuck kept them in the school’s janitor closet. He knew it wasn’t professional, but it’s not like the school would know- since the school also offered him janitor uniform which was a grey shirt with the school’s logo and white pants. So after cleaning his face in the male washroom, he heads into the tiny janitor’s closet to change up into his work uniform. The choice in color not only made him look approachable, but it singled him out as the cleaner.
Most of the time Donghyuck didn’t have to do much cleaning since the young kindergarten students would always clean up their home room classes early in the morning. Donghyuck only had to handle the staffs’ resting room, bathrooms, hall ways and occasionally cleaning outside the jungle gym. The kindergarten school was a moderately rich school with a big yard and no other buildings around. It had students from the age of 5 to 7, and only 7 staff members (including his mum), 1 principle and 2 janitors- in total 10 workers. The school had 6 working days, so Donghyuck worked Thursday’s to Saturday. With only a number of staffs team, the school wasn’t that big, but it was decently strong in the education department of training young students. One thing Donghyuck liked about it, was that it was a private school, meaning the young students were taught much more than the average kindergartener.
Donghyuck had students politely greet him, had some helping him with picking up trash and throwing it in the bin, and even (on some rare days) shared with him some of their merit sweets. But none of the students were like the little female student known by the name of Areum.
While she was like the rest of the students, politely greeting him, helping him after school when all her friends had gone and even giving him some of her merit sweets- ever since that day that they spoke on the bench, she was attentive to him.
“Hi Mr Sunshine,” She greets in a tiny voice that echoed loudly with a big bright smile.
Donghyuck turns his head down to the little kid, just as his mother who’s walking down the hallway towards him notices the little girl. “Hey kid,” Donghyuck greets noticing she has a basket and opens it up revealing some creamy cupcakes. She digs her hand inside and picks up one with a glittery label on a toothpick that said, Mr Sunshine. Donghyuck’s brows furrow with a little smile. “What’s this?”
“Today is my birthday,” She smiles brightly.
Donghyuck takes the glittery cupcake bending his knees and crouching down to be almost at eye level with the little girl. “You’re a leap year baby? How old are you now?”
“I’m now 6 years old,”
Donghyuck tries not to laugh. “Technically, you’re 1 years old because this is the first leap year in years, but I’m not gonna judge.” She smiles. “Well happy birthday kid. Did you make for your whole class?”
She nods her head.
“You’re a very kind little girl,” Donghyuck lightly pats her head smiling before he stands up. “Thank you for making me a cupcake. I don’t have a present for you now, but I can tell you a joke,”
“Okay,” She gets excited.
“Why did the clown go to the doctor?”
“Why?” Even before Donghyuck can finish, she already starts giggling.
“He was feeling funny,” Donghyuck puts emphasis on the funny as he moves his hands in a wave manner- and of course she loses her mind and topples over while laughing. Donghyuck pats her head cautiously. “Why don’t you head on to class. The bell’s about to ring, hurry,”
“Okay, bye Mr Sunshine,” She cools down from her laugh.
“See ya,” Donghyuck gets back up and drags the rest of the cleaning supplies back into the janitor’s closet. While opening up the door and goes inside, his mother (who stopped walking to watch the interaction) begins walking to the janitor closet only for her to freeze in her steps when noticing an all too familiar face…faces.
“Areum, don’t go too quick,” The lady in a navy nurse uniform turns into the corridor and finally sees the little girl. “Hey, wait up,” She walks with one large brown bag as well as a covered cake in the other hand just as a little girl, the same little girl Donghyuck was talking to, comes over and walks alongside her.
“Sorry mummy,” She smiles. “The bell’s going to ring,”
“Don’t worry about the bell, you’re going to mess up the cupcakes and doughnuts if you run too quick,” A man, standing next to them in a police uniform smiles down at the little Areum.
“Okay, I was just excited,” She bounces up and down. “I wanna give everyone a cake already,”
“Then let’s not keep you waiting,” The man has his hands filled with several plastic bags but still managing to hold onto the little girl’s hand. Donghyuck’s mother blinks twice and has to turn away while the pair and little girl walks past her.
His mother is in shock after recognizing that the police officer was Na Jaemin and the nurse looked exactly the same as the girl that had her house broken into by her son and friends, her name was Yezi. After they pass she quickly goes into the janitor’s room but stops midway when Donghyuck pulls the door open and dusts his hands while eating and chewing on the cupcake, being surprised to see his mum.
“Mum?”
“H-hey,” She greets with a tight smile, but then grabs his arm and quickly dashes outside of the building holding him tight.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” Donghyuck asks as he’s being dragged out the building. “What did I do?”
“Donghyuck, who’s that little girl that keeps talking to you?” She asks when they’re outside taking in one big breath.
Donghyuck tries to think for a second when trying to get this mum’s question. “I don’t know, Areum, why? Is it because of the cupcake? It’s her birthday and she gave me one,”
“That’s not what I’m asking, I’m asking whether you know who this girl, as in her parents?” His mother tries to calmly ask out.
Donghyuck furrows his brows and shakes his head while shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know her parents. Why? Did she get hurt?”
Donghyuck’s mother can only stare at him with wide eyes feeling her heart beat fast. Her son just got out of prison and had been doing fairly well for some weeks now. She can’t allow anything bad to happen to him. “Look,” She breathes in nervously. “This little girl, just like all the other girls and boys have parents and families who are stacked with money and power. I just want you to be careful whenever you talk or engage with them. I doubt any of them would approve that an ex prisoner is a janitor at this school, they would lose their minds. I know these people. Which is why, I’m saying this. I don’t want any problems so I’m asking you, please Donghyuck, do not- and I repeat, do not find yourself in a problematic situation involving these kids. Okay?”
Donghyuck nods head when seeing how serious his mum looks. “I won’t. I promise,”
“Especially that little girl who’s always around you.”
Donghyuck nods his head again.
“In fact, I want you to stay as far away from her.” She pats his arm slightly and heads back into the school allowing her hand to massage her neck that became slightly stiff. “I hope he listens,”
Donghyuck doesn’t even have to think of the situation, especially regarding that little girl. If his mum was warning him, it only meant that this girl had parents who would cause havoc in his new path. So continuing to eat his cupcake he walks to the corner of the building and connects the hose pipe to begin watering the grass.
Yezi has to do a double take when seeing the man. Of course she can’t see his face but his backside has her in wonder. Especially since he’s eating a cupcake.
“Are you coming?” She snaps out of her thoughts when hearing Jaemin.
“Yes I am,” She smiles when buckling her seatbelt. “I hope Areum has fun today,”
“Me too,” Jaemin notes and starts up his car. “Hey, I wanted to ask you something,”
“Sure, as long as you’re still taking me to work,”
Jaemin begins driving turning his gaze lightly to Yezi before looking back to the road. “I was taking Areum to school the other day, and noticed something weird,”
“What? She picks her nose? Tells bad puns? Laughs and talks alone? I was worried too, but dad said it’s a natural thing for kids so it’s okay.”
Jaemin’s ghost smile fades when recalling what Areum was doing. “She was...” Jaemin sighs deeply as he himself didn’t even know how to say it. The sight was unusual and made him question what was going on in her head. Yezi takes note of his chilling tone, and watches him. “She’s an odd child, but I worry about her. I know it feels like I’ve pushed the boundary between work and your family, but I really do worry about her,”
“I’m grateful that you’ve always been there for me and my family whenever we called. And ever since Areum was born you’ve almost become like family to me. So I appreciate you so much Mr Na,” Yezi acknowledges Jaemin by meekly smiling in his direction. He was 7 years older then her, but whenever looking at him she always got butterflies. Much to her family, Jaemin was just an officer, but to her- he was like her best friend. “So to have you worried about her, makes me kinda feel anxious. What’s wrong? What did she do?”
“It’s not what she did… more like where did she learn it from,” Jaemin licks his lips peeking at her. “How active are you with your boyfriend? Sexually speaking.”
The question makes her cheeks and neck glow in warmth. She even shifts in her seat trying to remain calm. “Uh, Jaehyun and I… don’t really…we haven’t gotten on that boat yet,”
That’s news to Jaemin’s ears. “Really?” Yezi nods her head. “You haven’t had any inter-”
“It’s kinda hard thinking about sex when I was raped as a child.” Yezi mutters. “Did Areum say something odd?”
“No, no,” Jaemin runs his hand through his hair. He tries to be respectful considering Yezi’s history. “I’m just asking. A-actually, tell me about him. Jaehyun.”
“Pardom?” Yezi has to blow air out of her mouth when finding the atmosphere warm and a little bit too much for her. “You hate when I talk about him,”
“That’s because he’s 9 years older than you,” Jaemin mutters covering up with a cough. “I mean, I don’t have anything against the guy other than he’s 30 and you’re 21. He’s a great guy, has a good looking face, egotistical personality-”
“Jaemin,” Yezi drags out a sigh with her smiley face. “He’s nice to me. But what does asking about him have to do with what Areum did? What did she do, tell me?” Jaemin’s nonchalant face doesn’t budge only making Yezi much more adamant. “Jaemin?”
“I’m just looking out for her,” Jaemin says. “I know you work over time, and your dad doesn’t get back until late and your mum started attending some afternoon yoga classes- but really is there no one else you can trust Areum with? Nanny even?”
“The last time I trusted a nanny, I found her hitting Areum as a form of discipline. I’m not going down the nanny line again. Plus the one’s we have at home only work for my dad and mum. They can watch Areum, but I don’t want them too. She’s my little girl and I don’t want them to pontificate her mind,”
“Come on Yezi, and Jaehyun?” Jaemin’s eyes widen. “He’s a 30-year-old man. Just because he’s got a lot of free time doesn’t-”
“I trust Jaehyun because he makes Areum happy, she doesn’t get nervous or scared around him. And because he’s older he takes his responsibilities seriously. It’s not his responsibility, but he’s passionate about her and that makes me feel some form of safety.”
“The best I can do is drop her every morning to school while you go off to work early in the mornings. If I could look after her, after school, would you allow me too?”
Yezi has an unknown sad frown on her face, but subtly nods. “She doesn’t open up much to people and with you she’s afraid because you have a gun and deal with ‘bad people’, but if it’s what you want to do, I can consider it. But you already have so much on your plate,”
“Trust me Yezi, Jaehyun’s great. But there’s something off… maybe it’s not even Jaehyun. Maybe it’s her friends at school,” Jaemin begins second doubting himself.
“Jaemin what did she do, that has you so worked up?” Yezi pleads this time feeling worried.
Jaemin sighs. “It’s not a big deal, just…” Jaemin’s eyes brighten. “What about your sister? You said she’s clean again, can’t you ask her-”
“I’m not gonna ask her until you tell me what happened with Areum?”
“Fine.” He rolls his eyes, before the nerves kick in again. How would he tell her that he caught her daughter bouncing and even dry humping herself on the backseat of his car? She would be in a frenzy state. But then again, Jaemin could be over thinking it and Areum wasn’t doing anything scandalous and he could’ve saw wrong….no he couldn’t have saw wrong for 18 weeks now. “She humps her seat every morning I take her to school.” Jaemin reveals. “And she does it excessively, like she’s trying to pleasure herself. I, I could be reading too much into it but I can’t help but wonder why she does that. I’ve tried asking her but she stops and then says nothing.”
“So, you’re suspecting Jaehyun of-”
“No, I’m not. I just.” Jaemin stops himself before finding the words. “She’s a little girl and takes things in easily. In a way, if he’s the one watching her afterschool, don’t you think she’s learning things from him? Plus I could be wrong about him, and it’s not him but instead it’s the students at her school. Maybe some male student or even the female students, I don’t know Yezi. If I’m reading too much into it, then there’s nothing wrong and it’s nothing to worry about, but if it’s something true then I think you should check on the people around her because she’s learning some bad things for her age. She just turned 6 today,”
Yezi is in silence as well as astonishment from everything Jaemin says. “Humping her seat how?”
Jaemin doesn’t say anything but then his body starts awkwardly moving back and forth before he starts bouncing lightly on his seat. The scene is erotic and has Yezi’s eyes widening. “Like that,” Jaemin says before stopping and resting back on his seat.
Yezi sharply intakes some air and looks away. Her cheeks are flushed and the tempo of her heart changes. However, for the rest of the ride, she says nothing until Jaemin reaches the hospital in which she interns in. “Have a good day,” Jaemin says, a small smile sipping onto his lips just as his eyes look guilty for causing her tension so early in the morning.
Yezi stiffly smiles and unlocks her door stepping out. She shuts the door and heads to his boot to bring out her work bad- afterwards she goes back to the window and knocks on it. “I’ll call Dae and see if she’s available. Uh, do you mind picking me up afterwards?”
“Time?”
“Half past six,”
“Sure,” He nods his head but he can’t help when asking. “Will Jaehyun be with Areum?”
She stiffly nods her head and tilts her head to the side looking anxious. “I’ll talk to him during my lunch break. Thanks for telling me.”
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For the next coming of days, Yezi is highly cautious of Areum. She tries spotting or even catching Areum when ‘humping’, but just like Jaehyun said perhaps Areum wanted to pee on those days that Jaemin picked her up. Jaehyun assured Yezi that Areum only acts like that when she really wants to use the bathroom. Her suspicion died down when Jaehyun assured her that Areum is a good girl and doesn’t know things like that- and if she did, then he would put it down immediately. And even when Yezi tried investigating by talking with teachers at her school, and with her dad and mum- they were confused by the brass topic. ‘How could she know such?’ They’d ask. Even when Yezi would hump the floor and ask Areum what was happening- Areum didn’t seem to know what her mother was talking about or even doing. So while Jaemin never brought it up again, Yezi was able to relax and hoping that indeed Jaemin might’ve seen Areum in her pressed state and in need to use the toilet.
However, for Donghyuck who constantly watches Areum rub herself on the bench when everyone’s gone gets bothered by it. Like his mother said, he tries to stay away from Areum as much as he can. But he can’t help it, when day by day it really looks scandalous. This little girl was being sexually abused and mind fucked by her uncle.
Donghyuck doesn’t know the depths of it, of how much the little girl knows, but it surely gets on his nerve every time he’d see the smirking uncle touch the girl. Areum, even though Donghyuck didn’t know her, was a sweet little girl who loved making friends with everybody. She was a little class clown who brought smiles to everyone’s faces. Donghyuck remembers when on one assembly, while the students were watching their entertainment of the week by some dancing clowns, Areum got up as well and began dancing- challenging the clowns, bringing smiles and laughter to everyone’s faces. Donghyuck even acknowledges how smart she is, from always getting golden sticker stars on her forhead to the amount of merit sweets she’d get- this tiny little girl was oblivious to the fact that she was being used by her uncle, all in the name of playing.
And so when approaching her after school past 3pm on a Thursday, he notices how tired she looks when dragging her pelvis slowly on the bench.
“Hey kid,” He pipes up with a tiny smile, causing her little drained face to meekly smile.
“Hi Mr Sunshine.” She tries smiling but she looks so tired.
Donghyuck takes a seat next to her on the bench taking a look at her. “No joke today?”
She stops humping hanging her head down.
In her lack of response, Donghyuck clears his throat speaking again. “Waiting for your uncle?”
She looks up and nods her head. Donghyuck feels strange watching her look so drained of energy before her gaze goes back to the ground. It’s silent for a little while before he speaks up again.
“Do you still play that game with your uncle?” The question itself makes Donghyuck itch the wrong way, but when Areum tenses up his face thickens with anxiety. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t like playing fuck with Uncle Jung anymore.” She murmurs out. “But he likes playing it.”
Donghyuck’s jaws lock before he tries asking another question. “Why don’t you tell your mum? Or dad?”
“Mummy likes him too much,” She answers. “And I’m scared she’ll be angry with me,”
Donghyuck finds himself feeling bad for the little girl. She must not have a father, and her mother might be a strict rich parent or something along the lines- Donghyuck thinks to himself. “I think you should tell mummy. If you tell her what uncle does to you, she’ll tell uncle to stop.”
She shakes her head timidly and looks nervous. “Uncle Jung will punish me. He told me to never ever tell mummy or else fuck will become harder,”
Donghyuck’s brows furrow in distaste. That fucker, he thinks. “How about this,” Donghyuck breathes in. “I can tell a teacher and then your teacher will tell your mum-”
“Nooo,” She shakes her head looking petrified. “Uncle Jung doesn’t like bad girls. If I’m a bad girl, he’ll punish me.”
Aside from her outburst in stress, Donghyuck can tell that something has changed in her. Whereas the first few days she looked content of the ‘game’, she now seems more reluctant. “Do you like playing that game?” He asks lowly.
Areum shakes her head before getting up from her seat when a black vehicle stops in front of them. Donghyuck is deep in his thoughts until a car comes. He bites his lip to hold back his anger, but he gets up and walks with Areum until her uncle is out the car.
“Hey puppy,” He greets with the pet name. Donghyuck’s ears are sharp when hearing the ‘happiness’ sip out of Areum. Poor little girl is so afraid that she even fakes her happiness. “She wasn’t a bother was she?”
Donghyuck’s head turns to the man and he shakes his head. “She never is. Hey uh, sir.”
“Yes?” Jaehyun peers back at the man after shutting the door when Areum gets in the backseat.
Donghyuck can’t find the words to say when looking at the little girl in the backseat. He only feels anger boiling in him. She’s trapped in the car with an abuser. “Whatever game you’re playing with her you should stop.”
Jaehyun’s head tilts to the side and he blinks. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” Donghyuck turns in his step and walks back to the school.
Little does Donghyuck know when Jaehyun gets back in the car he turns back to Areum who has her head hanging low. “Areum were you a naughty girl today at school?”
Areum looks up and shakes her head.
“Are you lying to me?”
She shakes her head again.
“Does that guy know about the game?”
Areum hesitates a little and her eyes look down. Jaehyun starts his car being angered. He doesn’t say anything except plays his jam as he drives back to his house whereby he’d stay with Areum until 18h30 and take her back home. Upon getting to his house, he helps Areum undress into the spare clothes her mother left over at his house, and begins assisting her with her homework. When they’re done, he allows her to watch tv while he works on his laptop. Initially, they’d have ‘play time’, but Jaehyun is heated with anger that he denies her request of play time and goes into his room. Not long after, Areum knocks on the door and pushes it open.
“I’m sorry Uncle Jung.” Areum apologizes when standing by his door. “I won’t tell anyone again.”
Hearing that, Jaehyun exhales lowly. Recently he started doing things a little bit different with her, perhaps it was too much for her. “What did you tell him? And don’t lie to me.”
She keeps her head down, being scared to look up. “I don’t know.” She admits. “That I play fuck with you and that you touch me here.” She points to her lower part.
(You can skip this part and go straight into part 2- it's overly gruesome and i felt disgusted writing this part. I'm not projecting that Jaehyun would ever do this in real life.)
PLAY: Season 2: Part 2
Jaehyun rolls on his chair and faces her. It took him only a few conversations for him to convince Yezi that he wasn’t doing anything inappropriate with her daughter. And truly speaking he wasn’t…he only liked to show Areum how her body worked and what she should do to relieve herself. He liked to touch…and see how she liked it. Aside from that, he didn’t think that he did anything wrong. She would soon forget about it as she grew up, but for now he was aroused at how the little girl’s body worked. Despite being so young, she reacted pleasantly to all the games they’d play together. He didn’t want to stop, and he surely enjoyed himself while playing with her- if anyone else found out about this, they’d have him imprisoned. “Do you want to see me go to prison?”
Her eyes widen and she shakes her head. “No Uncle Jung.”
“Do you want mummy to stop us playing together?”
She shakes her head.
“Then next time, don’t tell anyone. If you don’t like the games anymore, tell me and I’ll stop. But never ever tell anyone again, or I’ll be forced to punish you, and you don’t want to be punished right. Now come to me like a puppy if you want me to be good to you,” Jaehyun gives her a little grin before patting his thigh. She hesitantly gets on all fours and begins crawling to him. Upon getting to his feet she looks up to him sticking her tongue out looking just like a little puppy.
Jaehyun coo’s lightly and carries her over his lap before rounding his chair back to the laptop. “Did you try and relieve yourself today?”
She shakes her head. “No,”
“Bad girls don’t lie my puppy. I’ll ask one more time, did you relieve yourself today?” As Areum sits on his lap, he continues on typing out on his laptop of some orders that needed to be made from his car dealership store.
“I was trying, but I couldn’t.” She shyly admits. “Can I play on the horsey Uncle Jung?”
“I’m a little busy right now, but I’ll let you ride the horsey and then we can play okay?”
She eagerly nods her head, before Jaehyun man spreads his legs allowing Areum to scout over his crotch, she sits on his sleeping manhood and begins grinding on him slowly. Jaehyun grunts lowly and shifts his hips slightly up to give her better access. His member begins waking up when her tiny hips begins to grind faster. Areum closes her eyes, as her fingertips grip tighter onto his thighs as she feels the horsery waking up. She parts her legs a little to see the horsey bump. “Look Uncle Jung, he’s waking up.”
“He likes it,” Jaehyun mutters, now scampering to finish the package details and deals so that he can attend to Areum.
Meanwhile Areum’s body vibrates when it seems like she’s finally hit that spot that was always in need. She let’s out a cute tiny moan, just as Jaehyun hits send and shuts his laptop. “Good Girl.” He encourages when her humping weakens. “Do you wanna play the game now?”
She looks up and eagerly nods her head. Jaehyun picks her up and carries her out his study and into his room. He places her gently on the bed while he moves under the bed to pull out a box of his pleasing toys. He get’s out a pink dildo as well as pink vibrator. Areum’s eyes are already glistening with eagerness and she adjusts herself on the bed.
Jaehyun sets the toys on the bed and kneels down on the floor, pulling Areum to the edge on the bed. She smiles when he gets his hands underneath her skirt and over the strap of her panty. He slowly starts pulling them down while Areum as expected lays on the bed and bucks her hips up to help Jaehyun remove her panty quick. He lifts up her skirt, allowing him the full view and access of her tiny clean and hairless vagina. He stretches her legs seeing her it was slightly wet. He gets the lubricant and squirts out the lube.
Areum shivers by the cold slimy liquid pouring on her lower half. Even though Uncle Jung said that this liquid would help in easing his fingers inside, Areum thought it wasn’t working, since she’s been feeling so much pain. “Uncle Jung?”
Jaehyun snaps his head up being snapped out of the hypnotizing view. “Yes my puppy,”
“Please can you not put your finger inside me again. It hurts,” She mummers.
Jaehyun’s hands move up her small little legs before his thumbs play with her folds by opening and closing them. She was so beautiful, Jaehyun couldn’t wait until she became a teen, she’d have the most striking and juiciest of pussy’s. His thumbs play over her pussy lips mixing and spreading the lube everywhere. His face comes close and he looks up to her who has her eyes on the ceiling while biting her skirt that’s over her mouth. “Because you were a bad girl, I wonder what I should do to you,” Jaehyun mutters as his lips hover over her pussy. “Since you don’t want me to put my fingers… Should I eat you out?”
She disliked having him eat her, but it was better than his fingers. So when she feels warmth over her area she tenses up and squeezes her eyes shut. Jaehyun’s tongue laps over her pussy and he twirls his tongue over her little bud. He’s not soft at all when sucking in her bud and continues to rub his tongue over her whole core. She whimpers while hearing Jaehyun slurping down on her like some kind of meal. Jaehyun grips underneath her butt as he positions her closer to his devouring tongue. He makes her wrap her legs around his neck as he continues to lap at her quickly. The strawberry lubricant mixing with the slightly sweet taste of her own nectar. Jaehyun moans out, when her tiny whimpers begin to pick up and her own core pushes more into his mouth.
“Uncle Jung,” She gasps while getting closer to her edge, but like always Jaehyun stops and she’s forced to let out a whine by the unfinished arousal. Jaehyun smirks and unwraps her legs from his, his lips being wet and coated with lube and her own nectar.
“Because you were a bad girl, I won’t let you enjoy this,” Jaehyun smirks and picks up the vibrator. He switches it on watching it shiver as it begins vibrating. Jaehyun places the triangular shaped vibrating vibrator over the little whole. He carefully sticks it in- causing Areum to squeal delightfully as she bucks her hips into the vibration of the vibrator.
He places a finger over it and glides over her bud enjoying her exasperated faded stare. Since he couldn’t get it from her mother, then Areum was the next best option. Her expressions where fluid with passion. She held nothing in. She looked especially arousing that it just pushed Jaehyun over the edge a lot of the time.
Picking up the soft dildo (which he bought just for her) while his other hand holds onto the vibrator. While she gets closer and closer to her edge Jaehyun prepares himself for when he has to remove it. With one hand he places the lube over the tip of the dildo. And just as her legs shake he stops the vibration. She whimpers like a little puppy and Jaehyun smiles. “Uncle Jung,” She whines but he shakes his head with dark lustful eyes.
“If you didn’t tell, then maybe I was going to go soft on you, but because you told you’ll be punished.” Jaehyun states and directs the soft male dildo penis over her little whole. “Do you wanna ride the horsey?”
Despite being zooted out she still nods her head lazily and shuts her eyes again, preparing herself. Jaehyun prepares to place the dildo’s tip insider her like usual, but something comes over him when seeing the young girl being vulnerable with her eyes closed.
“Don’t open your eyes okay my little puppy,” At that she shuts her eyes tighter, just as he shifts himself and unbuckles his pants. Very slowly he slips his pants and boxers down before standing up and adjusting his cock that’s already rock hard. Using one hand, he places his palm over her eyes covering them from seeing anything, before groaning and grunting when setting his tip over the warm squishy hole. “Ah,” He lowly grunts. “Just the tip,” He whispers to himself, when together with the lube over her core, he gently pushes himself into her warmth.
Unlike the skinny dildo penis, his tip is slightly bigger and thicker causing her to gasp in pain. She tries to get up, but Jaehyun keeps her down, when he continues to slowly stretch up her walls and entering just the tip. He watches as his pink tip struggles to squeeze into the little girl’s hole, but he doesn’t stop as he continues on.
Areum at this point is grunting and squeezes her eyes shut her toes curling and the newfound pain. “Uncle Jung,” She barely manages to get the words out her mouth into a loud audible phrase as the pain consumes her.
What was supposed to be the tip, happened to be half of his dick slowly being riled in and out of her. Jaehyun can tell that she’s passed out because her body is non-responsive to the pain, but he’s not worried because it’s not the first time she’s passed out. And so without having to worry of whether she sees or not he removes his hands from her eyes and continues thrusting in a slow pace until her tiny whole that wraps around him invites him in to slide easily. He only places his dick by half inside of her watching the bulge form on her belly with each and every new thrust.
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PLAY: Season 2: Part 2
(i'm truly sorry for that whole scenery.)
[Taglist: @rizykim | @sexygrass | @jenjaemjam | @lvmarfc | @haechanistfriends | @markleefuckme ]
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walkeredsblog · 8 months
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'Who did you lose?' She asked, wiping away her tears and turning to face daryl who had a hand on a white chiped doorframe. Tears blured his vision. He didn't know what to say. His words failing him. Insted of saying what the deepest parts of him wished to say, he said:
'My brother'
The woman had her hand to her neck, red puffy eyes from crying.
'How?' She choked out.
'It was an accident,' daryls deep southern drawl rasped, answering her question. He brought his bottem lip between his teeth then finished the sentence.
'Never found the body' now, the cup overflowed with salty water. Tears trickled down his cheeks.
'And you thibk he's still out there?' Leah questioned. That was her name, leah. Leah was the woman who invited him into his home. The woman whom he would soon sleep with.
'I dunno ... but I ain't gonna stop till' I find out.' He told her.
'Your always the hero, huh?'
He scoffed. Finding it funny how she thought that not actually knowing who he was apart from his name and that he lost his brother. Yes, he lost rick, but he also lost you, his wife. Mabie not lost but rather left.
When rick died, daryl went out looking. He thought you wanted daryl to go away, to leave you alone. You didn't. You isolated yourself because your brother had just died and your husband was chasing ghosts for almost 3 years. You needed daryl and he left. He left you. So, when he came back from time to time you avoided him like the plauge.
Then, leah. He fucked her. That's as simple as it gets.
'You are dead to me daryl. Fucking dead'
Those words engraved themselves into his brain after what he told you he'd done.
So, he never came back.
A/N: idk wtf this is but I was bored. I need to start properly planning out that fic yall are waiting on! Sorry it's gona take a while :(
Any prompts or anything u want me to write???
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bitchyglitterfox · 2 years
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Wildest Dreams - Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
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Warnings: Bucky and reader are horrible people in this, cheating, allusions to smut, angst, no happy endings, talks of morning after pill and birth control
A/n: ok so I had the idea for this year's ago and it was originally gonna be a Steve Rogers X Reader but I'm back on my Bucky BS so here this one came haha. Enjoy!
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The soft sheets of the hotel suite covers my bare chest as I lay my head on his chest, using my fingers to draw random shapes, sundays like these were a once in a blue moon type of deal. 
    "We should drive out of here and never look back, away from all the crowds and hustle and bustle of the city" he says, drawing a finger down my spine, a shiver running up it. 
    I wanted to agree I truly did, but we needed to end this relationship. Heaven can't help me now, I needed to end it now before it got too complicated. He was married, we were just having fun, we were avengers for god's sake! We had to understand that nothing lasts forever.
    “You know why we can’t do that, you know we both agreed this was just sex,” I tell him wrapping my the sheet tighter around my chest and sitting up, “You told me this was no strings attached,” the crease begins to form between my eyebrows. 
    This is gonna hurt, I can already feel it, he's so tall, handsome especially for someone who is 106. He's so bad, he was my bad boy, he was the sun and I was icarus, I flew too close to the sun.
    "We have to end this, this is the last time we are sleeping together bucky, I can't take the heartache and your wife deserves better, she deserves a husband who will love her and only her," I quickly got dressed, I knew this would end in hellfire the moment it began. The longing looks during debriefs, the subtle touches. 
    "My last request before we part ways, say you'll remember me, staring at the sunset in Boca Raton, when we had that undercover mission, remember me standing in a nice dress, red lips and cheeks rosied from all the drinks we shared that night. Promise me you'll see me again, even if it's in our wildest dreams,"
*********
    Weeks after the flirting, we finally caved. I had booked a hotel room for a mission and now Bucky and I were just the two of us. Away from prying eyes. 
    "No one has to know what we do" I say against his lips as he takes a fist of my hair, kissing down my neck as I undo his belt buckle, the coolness of his vibranium arm slipping under my shirt, goosebumps spread across my skin like a wildfire.
    "But, I'm married and you've just become a member of the team," he says as he continues his assault on my neck. 
    "And you can stop and tell me to leave and I will, you don't have to continue this, we can stop and never speak of this again," I bargain, knowing that he doesn't want to stop, "someday when you leave me, I bet these memories will follow you around," I swallow thickly as he rips my white button up open the buttons flying everywhere. 
    "Then let's make memories worth remembering," he says before capturing my lips in his once more.
******
    That night begins the years long affair, sneaking out during training to fuck in the closets at the compound, late nights after successful missions, we were like rabbits trying to single handely repopulate our species, luckily for the both of us, condoms and birth control were always handy including the morning after pill. 
    We both knew it was wrong but did doing the wrong thing feel so good. 
After the first time we both agreed it would just be sex, nothing more than that even if it hurt once we both knew we were bluring the lines and falling in love. 
    "You'll see me in hindsight, you'll remember all of the times we would be tangled up in bedsheets, talking all night about what our future would be," I say while zipping up my jeans and walking towards the door, I lean down to pick up my shoes, I take one more look at the man I will be forever in love with but won't be able to call my own, "don't forget check out is at noon,"
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ele-sme · 10 months
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So this is a little different by the fact that this two are completely invented by me, I hope you guys like this anyway
"Kill me" those were the words that Amanda said. Yoi'tä didn't hear them, didn't want to hear them. His best friend, just asked him to kill her.
"Cut my throat open, stab me, shoot me an arrow please just kill me" she begged. He couldn't speak, couldn't move. The forest became quite, their hang out spot more darker.
He knew her since she was 4 and he was 4 as well, they met when she followed Spider socorro behind his acknowledgment at hometree.
Now they were 12, been together through all. She was there for his first kill, and he was there when she had her first period, although the last one was way more panicking since both of them didn't know what a period was.
"Yoi? Are you alright?" She asked him. That morning, that damn morning they announced that all humanity would go back on earth, although Spider Socorro wouldn't go, because he was the best friend of the olo’eyktan kids and bla bla bla, he had privileges that Amanda, his sister, didn't.
"I can't" he simply responded, even tho those words were so heavy.
"I don't want to go to earth! This is my earth, i want to die here, and i want the great mother by my side" she yelled "i want to be buried like one of her many children" she continued.
No one knew if the great mother saw humans children as hers, the older ones said "no they are demons" but all the people of their age said "they are eywa children as you and me are!". Still no one knew.
"What i am going to do without you?!" He asked, even tho it was more a question to himself.
"If i die here you can come visit me all the time" she pleaded "i can hide you until the ships go away" he told her. Even tho he had his eyes blured from the tears he could sense her dissapointment "and be like Socorro? No thank you". Gosh how much she hated that guy was almost annoying.
"Please Yoi, i want you to kill me. Please" she begged again.
And he nodded. He fucking nodded. She hugged him, thanking him over and over. And after a few minutes she was gone, his hunting knife in her chest, where her heart was, blood all over him, her, and their surroundings.
Her last words? "Thank you brother". Her face was like when she was in deep sleep, only that a smile was in her lips, she looked peaceful. So pretty and young, his sister just passed to their mother because of him, and he couldn't be more happy for her.
As he was burying her in secret close to the tree of souls, he couldn't help but smile as the roots toke over her body. And as he connected, he saw their hang out spot and she climbing over a tree coming to him. "Not bad for your first kill" she laughed.
as he said, she was there for his first kill.
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beanyboobee · 2 years
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Have a little shadow peach draft thing I made.
It was quite a strange thing, they were no good for one another, they knew this. They knew that when they were together they only brought out the worst in each other, that when they were seperated they were at their best, their healthiest. Yet... there was almost this strange, desire. this need to always be around one another. They knew that what ever-...this. was, could be no good for them, it was not healthy. but they craved it. they needed it, they needed to be around each other. To make sure the other only had them on their mind, the same amount their own person had their opposite on their own. 
Even if their thoughts were only filled with hatred, and vile curses, that was better than being forgotten. If lashing out was the only way to assure that their mind would calm, knowing the object of their thoughts and hidden most deepest desires, also only thought of them, Then so be it. 
If he could not whisper words of encouragement, then he would spew out words of distain, and if he could no longer pull the other close and hold onto them with bubbled up laughter and teasing, then he would now settle for pinning them down to the dirt with a spear and mocking their very existance. 
It was not an ideal situation, but circumstances and history made it the only way they could cope with the others presense. 
They hated and loathed each other for what the other had done, but they could not be without them all the same. 
feelings of love, had now morphed into feelings of obsession, and the fun little games of first love, had now bloomed into a competition of domiance and control. 
An on going battle for who was stronger. who would cave first. 
The blazing sun with its unforgiving heat. 
Or 
The cool moon, that brought with it the shadows of the night. 
Each meeting ending with one or both, bathered, blooded and bruised, with heavy panting breathes, and new scars to show, lips so close, but never touching no matter how desperate they were to push this adrenaline rush to a new level, by introducing a new way to compete, to truely see if much had changed from the sweet and tender kisses they once had all those years ago. 
That seemed to be the only line they did not cross during their little games, no matter how far they went. their lips were to never meet, in fear it reminded them of times, both had long since painted over with bluring greys and white. 
burning golden eyes, shining like the sun as it set, glaring into smokey violet, like the sky at dusk, eyes that had no much to say, but mouths that refused to say a thing apart from sharing their distain. 
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l-lend · 1 year
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Oh K! I love the idea of your birthday gifts. I guess it must have been annoying as a child to have birthday so close to christmas... it makes the rest of the year way too long to wait for presents. But increases the anticipation...
My birthday is on 31st of August. And more often than once (where I come from) this day marked the last day of summer. I don't know if it’s coincidence or just blured memory... I remember parties on a hot day in bright sunshine and swimming in a pool. Icecream, watermelons and my favourite stirred cake... with curd and a thick chocolate glacing.
And then just one day later... rain, fog and 15 degrees less. It was quite melancholic. Still is sometimes. But I also love the change of times and seasons somehow.
I wish I could share these days... the fun and the thoughtful moments afterwards... in my love's loving arms and with his cheerful smile.
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Hey Caro <3
My birthdays were....interesting as a kid, but once you grow out of birthday parties in favor of small cozy get togethers, it's alright. Usually it's small dinners and a dip into some spirits. I've never written for Howzer before, but he seems like a sweetheart so let's see how this turned out.
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Warning(s): flirting, references to a 'good time'
The slight chill of the water chased away the sweltering warmth of the sun as you dove under. Your held breath exiting in a practiced exhale to prevent the chlorinated water from invading your sinuses as you swam to the surface. Your lips parting to drink in the air once breaching the surface.
Your eyes drifting to your swim partner already reposed in a chair. A wedge of melon resting in his grasp half eaten. His usual meticulously groomed locked playfully disheveled by his time in the pool.
“Done swimming already, Howzer?”
He chuffed a laugh, “Just enjoying having time off for once. I'm used to getting pulled here and there.”
You smirked wading to the edge of the pool, “I mean, if that'll help. I could find you things to do.”
“and what tasks would you have me do, mesh'la?”
“You could start with getting over here.” You tittered perching your fingers on the pool's ledge.
He set down the rind by the cooler and made his approach. Crouching down to allow his gaze to be level with yours.
“Done. What's next?”
Instead of answering, you tilted your head back slightly. Your lips barely puckered. His lips soon seeking out yours as they have many times before. It was in this moment, that you pounced.
Your hands seizing his while your feet planted themselves on the pool's wall kicking off with all your might. The abrupt pull knocking off whatever balance he had. The poor clone tumbling forward into the water.
Both of you surfaced after a moment. A fit of giggles erupting from you seemingly taking the bite out of the Captain's gaze. If it were one of his troopers, he would be at least glaring, but with you the expression more resembled pouting before his smile broke through.
“Couldn't resist.” You dismissed with a shrug.
He attempted to smooth over his locks before snatching you up in his arms.
“I think you've caused enough trouble pool-side.” He half halfheartedly reprimanded as he carried you bridal style, “I have more to show you inside.”
You were finally set down in the kitchen as he moved to the fridge.
“I checked every bakery on Ryloth, and they looked at me like I had a second head, so I....”
Your eyes grew wide at seeing the dessert placed in front of you. Its shape recognizable in an instant.
“Howzer,” You whispered.
“It's not the best,” He began, his hand rubbing the side of his neck, “I had to...improvise a bit, and got some help from Eleni.”
You swiftly wrapped your arms around his waist pressing your cheek just above his heart.
“I love it.”
He pulled you closer to him. Taking a moment to savor moments like these. However, you giggled as soon as you cut into the cake. His jaw dropped at seeing the smattering of turquoise on the inside.
“It's...not supposed to look like that.”
“Brought your work home again?” You teased.
His flustered expression only settled down when your hand caressed his cheek.
“It's perfect. But I wanna unwrap my favorite present first.”
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The sun rose much too soon for your liking. The early Autumn chill ushering you into your plush robe before you shuffled into the kitchen. The smell of fresh caf explaining why the bed was colder.
“Mornin', mesh'la.”
“If last night was anything to go by, then it is a good morning.”
While he busied himself pouring caf, you procured your breakfast. His lips curled as he took in your selection.
“Cake and caf?”
You smiled, “Breakfast of champions.”
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d-dalladalla · 2 years
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can i request a ryujin x reader where they wanna join the mile high club but they're in first class with the rest of itzy so they gotta be quiet?
SDMKASDASKDJASK
She would so be the type to do this, having you disguised as her makeup artist allowed for you to always be with her as she travelled.
She would make sure you took the window seat, sitting in first class already allowed privacy and having your seats recline as well as the privacy barriers, this was going to be easy.
The only problem was Yeji, she was doing her job as a leader, doing her rounds to make sure everyone was comfortable and this flight would be more difficult, Ryujin thought, they were recordings vlogs and the other four were filming right now.
She didn't care, she could keep you quiet, she had already raised suspicions in you as she slipped her hand under the blanket covering your thighs, laying a hand there and rubbing small circles as she looked at the other girls.
She slowly got braver, letting her hand trail up your thigh, playing with the hem of your shorts and pushing up until she was met with your underwear. You gave her a warning look, you could get fired for mingling with the talent or some crazy flight attendant could expose your relationship. But Ryujin raised a finger to her lips, telling you to keep quiet as she pushed your underwear to the side.
You lowered your head, trying to busy your thoughts and not let out any noise. She played with your folds, letting her fingers drift up and down, sinking just the tip of her finger in and out, gathering up your wetness as she sunk in two fingers.
She kept a straight face, picking up her phone and scrolling through it with ease, you started to sweat as she sped up her pumps, she couldn't quite reach your clit but this was enough, you could cum by the thought of being caught alone.
But Ryujin heard footsteps approach, she slowed her movements, then halting them entirely as Yeji popped up, camera in hand as she pointed it directly at you two, your face would be blured in post but Ryujin's wouldn't and her hand wouldn't. Your face felt like it was on fire as Ryujin's fingers were buried deep inside you, unmoving. Your girlfriend smiled and talked happily to Yeji about her thoughts on the trip, and the makeup you were planning for the concerts.
The leader eventually got called away by Yuna and the lunch menu and Ryujin picked up again, you were already on edge being caught was such a turn-on, as a fantasy; you would be mortified if it was ever to come true.
Ryujin could feel you start to clench down on her fingers so she began to twist and curl as she pumped in and out, trying to find that spot and when she did you let out the only noise you had made throughout the entire ordeal. A high-pitched whine and she immediately grinned, eyes flickering back to her groupmates, but none looked so she pumped harder.
You had to grip her forearm as she worked you, you were sure you were sweating at this point, your breathing was erratic as you tried to keep it silent and when you felt your release hit you, hard.
You felt your the cum leak out and past Ryujin's fingers as it stuck to your thighs, surely staining your fabric shorts and Ryujin peeled out her fingers, sucking one into her mouth as she cleaned it and then repeating her actions for the second. You had to rest your head on her shoulder, she was grinning to herself finally ticking the mile-high club off her bucket list.
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women-writings · 11 months
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Warnings: mentions of death, panic attacks, hospitals
Wandaxreader, natashaxdaughter!reader
——————————————————————————-
I screamed.
I screamed so loud I swear I could feel my vocal cords ripping apart in my throat
My voice turning soar as a Demond crawled from my body through a wretched sound
A scream so loud I could hear my glass heart shatter
A scream field by so many years of pain and loss until I finally snapped
I could fall to the ground and die right now and it wouldn’t matter
There is so much rage I couldn’t dig my nails deep enough into my palm
So much fear I couldn’t clench my teddys and harder
So very much loss and grief I cannot find the feeling of myself in the black hole within my body
I had lost her the last important person in my life
The only person who was there for me that I will always unconditionally love
My mother the woman who raised me and loved me no matter what happen
The woman who cleaned my scars
Kisses my bruises and held my hand
I can’t describe how the loss of her feel all I can do is scream
“KILL ME! KILL ME PLEASE I HAVE NOTHING I CANT FEEL!”
I feel everything and nothing and I would slam my head through a glass mirror and rip my skin off starting at my toes all the way up to my eyes
My heart. I would grab it and dig my nails into it until it exploded and stoped beating a bloody bath being left behind
Before I would feel this again
Oh my god the misery my mom
My greatest love in this lifetime
Gone forever
My knees slam against the ground a loud crack
My ears ringing vision blurring in and out
Oh god if only this could be the end
Please god take me under the earth bury me beneath the grass and dirt and all the flowers that have bloomed beside my mothers grave we didn’t have her body to bury in
If god is real he will have mercy and just kill me
And if god wasn’t merciful even the devil himself I would ask to take me
Anywhere but here kill me end it all oh god please
Not my mother not her anyone but her
My chest tightens and I can’t seem to take a breath in I feel hands on me but there hot and burn like fire
I can’t see all I can feel is escrucciating burning all over me
Lights bluring into starts
I’m not sure if the sounds I’m making are screams, sobs or if I’m being completely silent
But the last thing I feel is smoothing warm go down my face my vision turning red as it all goes black silence engulfing me
————————————————————
“We need an oxygen mast now!”
Silent ringing and loud beeping is all I can hear
I feel a cloud over my head
My soul lifting from my body as my heart clings on trying to not let my soul leave my body
A voice whispers in my ear
“My love please…. Hang on please”
My mothers voice.
But she’s gone I’m- gone? Arnt I
This is it this is the end
God has had mercy on my soul and ended my misery I can be with my mom
“Baby! Please no it’s not your time please”
My mothers sob is muffled and I feel warm heat spread across my body followed by a cold chill
Oh god I’m so cold
I hear a long beep and feel myself sigh of relief. It's done. I'm gone, it's over this grief, this pain!
“Detka please I love you so much! Please don’t do this open your eyes please!”
I feel a huge wave of air like the strongest wind of a hurricane and my lungs burn as I gasp a breath
My eyes open…
A hospital room is around me three doctors standing beside me looking like they just fought in a war of life and death
I blink a couple times looking around the room a pounding pain in my head when arms wrap around me
They're familiar it’s Wanda.
I sob turning into her chest “she spoke to me mama she talked to me!”
I feel my hair being soothed and Wanda quieting me
“Shh take a breath… rest please” she kisses the side of my head and I feel her lips wobble
I grab her hand as tightly as I can her being the only thing connecting me to my lifeline
I feel my chest rise and fall with my breaths and close my eyes my eyelids being to heavy to hold open sleep engulfing me
Today is not my day…
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darlin-collins · 2 years
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Darlin and quinn arranged marriage AU
Where they both hate each other
(inspired by some story time waxing vid i found in my yt shorts)
Darlin pov
Me and quinn had been married for a year now, we both hate it, and we both make that clear...
He offered to "fix our marriage" by taking me to a hotel..
He thinks I'm stupid
The second evening he wanted to go on a hike with me, i didnt argue about it
It was beautiful, out of context of course..
The full moon blured and covered by the dark clouds
The tall trees under the cliff
I was still wearing my backpack standing on the edge of the cliff he decided to camp near...
He was sitting in the camp. Looking at me...
"you know that i hate you just as much as you hate me" i said,loud enough for him to hear, still staring at the far little lights of the city
"i know that dear, but i want you to know that I'm trying to fix this"
"have fun trying to tell them it was an accident, Quinn." i looked at him with a smirk on my face
"what-" i dropped my backpack, change of plan i thought
I jumped down the cliff, that didn't end well,i was about to trip head first which can mean I'll break my neck, so i shifted and flipped a few times, then shifted back, i still landed flat on my ass but I'm fine, i layed on the ground and stayed still for a few minutes
"alright, he ran back now, you can stop pretending to be dead" i heard david say
I stood up "the department? "
"waiting for him"
"where's Sam"
"in the truck "
I smiled
"race ya there" i yelled and started running towards the road
"No you don't" he ran behind me
I got in the truck closed the door and flipped david off while he was getting in
"i won"
"you got a head start"
"oh shut it you know i doesn't effect ot that much, you're just lazy"
He huffed, and started driving i turned to my true mate, "hi, sugar"
"Hi darlin, done with you're "dead" mission? "
"yeah" i gave him a peck on the lips..<3
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iwyzz · 1 year
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♡Sunset ♡
♡Pairing: neteyam × f!omaticaya!reader
platonic Lo'ak × f!omaticaya!reader
♡warnings" death, nightmare, crying, screaming.
♡: angst, comfort
♡note: english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
Enjoy ♡
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A month. A month since you lost your other half. A month since you absolutely lost youself. A month since you lost him.
Yeah..It has been a month since the night everything changet. Since the night you weren't the same. The smile on your lips was replaced by tears running down your blue cheeks. And the laugh? Your beautiful laugh that could make everyone smile was replaced with sobbing and screaming in the sleep.
Looking at the blue sky in front of you while sitting on the big rock in the ocean. Salt tears welling into your eyes were bluring your view. You saw Lo'ak and Tsireya infront of you chasing each other on their ilus. Smiling a little to yourself knowing that Lo'ak was getting better. It has been hard for him since the death of his brother. He was blaming himself for it. Always apologising to you when he saw you struggling. But the smile on your lips quickly disappeared when you remembered one memory.
"Oh come one 'teyam. Please" you were beggining Neteyam to come on a ride with you to watch sunset. "We watched sunset yesterday" you nodded your head "I know but I want to watch it again with you. Please" he rolled your eyes before looking at you "No, don't look at me like that" you were looking at him with those eyes he couldn't say no to "Okay fine. We are going to watch sunset again". You started jumping up and down in excitment. "Thank you, thank you, thank you" you kissed his cheek. After an hour you two were sitting on a rock watching the sunset. Your head on his shoulder why his hand was rubbing your palm. "Thank you for coming with me" he smiled to himself "Thank you for making me come with you"
The tears couldn't be stopped. You were sitting on the same rock you have sat with him in the memory. When you saw Tuk aproahing you, you quickly wipped your tears off. "Mom want us home Y/n" she said and wrapped her arms around your neck. "Then come" you stood up, grabbed her hand and the two of you started walking to your murai.
At the dinner you were just looking at your food like always. But at least you could look at it. Two weeks ago you would throw up looking at food. But eating the food was still a bit hard for you. Lo'ak sitting next to you sighed at took the spoon from you. You knew what was coming. "Open" you did as you were told, opening your mouth. He put the spoon into your mouth smiling a little. "Good job" he said when you swallowed it. After three minutes he knew you didn't want it anymore. Well it wasn't the first time after the loss he was feeding you. "Just one more okay?" You nodded opening your mouth and swallowing it. He smiled whispering "I'm proud of you" you smiled at his words.
You were always close with Lo'ak but now, after everything happened, you were even more. He was there for you the past month, whenever you needed him. He would cancel his date with Tsireya just because of you. And you did the same with him. In the first two weeks holding him in the night while he was crying. You were crying too but the present of each other was comforting you both.
It was night. Your least favorite part of the day. You were sitting on your spot in the murai looking at the wall infront of you. "If something happened just wake me up" you look at Lo'ak smiling at him "I think you will be awake before me anyway" It was a joke you always told him when he told you to wake him up. He laughed a little nodding his head "Good night".
Having Neteyam's head in your lap while caressing his cheek "Don't go please" you whispered. He smiled a little with eyes half closed. "I would do anything to stay here with you, my love. But you know its not possible" . You wanted to scream when you heard that words coming from his lips. You knew he was right "I see you". Then his eyes closed. Shaking his body wasn't helping he was gone. Forever.
You felt how you have been being shaked in your sleep. "C'mon, wake up" you opened your eyes, sitting and taking a deep breath. "Shh. You are okay". It was a rutine now. You know what was coming. Lo'ak pulling you into him rubbing your arm. "I'm sorry for walking you up." He skaked his head "I wasn't asleep" you furrowed your eyebrows "Being on a date with your girl?" He chuckled and you did too. "Who knows". After a while you layed down again with Lo'ak next to you. Closing your eyes and drifting to sleep hearing the waves outside.
In the morning you were sitting next to Jake cutting some vegetables. "I'm sorry about what's happening to you" you turned to look at him "No need to be sorry. It's getting better." Lie. It wasn't getting better. Yeah ofc you started eating and were coming out sometimes. But you still felt how the other half of you were not with you. "You know that you can talk to me" you smiled but stopped when you almost cut yourself "I know thank you Jake. I'm getting better. But maybe you can talk to me" looking at him seeing how he looked outside watching Lo'ak smiling at Tsireya "I want to thank you. For being here for him" he looked at you. You knew that by him he meant Lo'ak. "You helped him a lot" looking at Lo'ak too you said "We helped each other. The one of us is just a little slower"
Even walking on the beach was making you cry. The memories flying through your mind faster then you wanted them too. Looking in the ocean wipping you tears away while thinking about another memory.
Splashing watter at each other was some reason so funny. You were like little kids laughing so much your stomachs were hurting. "Dinner's ready" Neytiri yelled at both of you. "Well come we can continue this tomorrow" you smiled "Okay. But we are going on a ride too"
You down buryig your legs into the hot sand. After a second you felt someone sitting next to you. "So what are you thinking about?" You shrugged "Things". Yesterday night something in you changet. You maybe realized that it would be good for him if you wouldn't tell him everything you had on your mind. "You can talk to me. You know that" you nodded "yeah i know. There's just nothing wrong." He looked at you for a second before saying "what was the dream about, yesterday?" The second you looked at him he knew it was another nightmare. "It was different. Not that scary. Or well..It was horrible seeing it but you know what I mean."
Fifteen minutes passed and you were still there sitting with Lo'ak. "Kiri told me that he might be a little jealous right now" you laughed a little bit "I think he's happy that we are okay." You looked at him seeing him thinking "whats wrong?" He skahed his head "I just maybe if I we wouldn't come get spider he would be still here. Maybe its because of me." He looked at you "It's my fault that you were crying yourself to sleep. It's my fault that you can't have him by your side anymore. I'm sorry for that." You shaked your head "Lo'ak It's not your fault. Look even though I'm not feeling amazing right now doesn't mean i will feel like this forever. I made a promise remember?" Tears welled in his eyes while yours were already falling down.
"No, no, no. Don't sleep. Look at me" you patted his cheek gently. He looked into you eyes "Just don't go to sleep okay? I'm here and I need you to be awake" you sniffled tasting the salty tears on your lips. "Promise me, love, that you will find someone who will take care of you for me. Promise me that you will try to get over this, over me" shaking your head at his words "No. No you will do it. Just hold on" he moved a little bacause of the pain in his entire body "Promise me. Please" Just promise.."I promise that i will try to get better. But the rest of it won't happen" he smiled "you" looking at Lo'ak "You will make sure she kept her promise. And make sure not to put yourself in the danger." Lo'ak nodded his head wipping his tears. You felt a hand on your cheek making you look down "And one more thing" he said "Think about me while looking at the sunset please and remember I will be there with you"
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Helloo
Thank you for reading! ♡
I hope you like it ♡
To be honest, I didn't want to post this, but my friend forced me to, so here it is :D.
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