#because you know... that whole 'i have to seduce people so i am safe' thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tenderpreyy · 8 months

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I’m thinking again about Astarions sexuality and how I've seen some people (to be fair, just a few) talk about it. Mainly, people pointing out his flamboyant behavior, and that us as players are learning more about his past male lovers than female ones and basically all these things for some people pointing to him being gay or at least not interested in women in the same way he is in men. And him only being a romance option regardless of gender, because, well, all companions are and he is therefore just "playersexual", only showing interest in female player characters because he has to, because of the game mechanics.

I think what really rubs me the wrong way about this topic is that it echoes the kind of things bi/pan people (speaking as a bisexual woman myself) find themselves dealing with irl. Whether through some form of internalized biphobia or from the outside through other people's comments. Of course this is about a fictional character so it’s not like he has any feelings that could be hurt. But when i see people tallying up how often he mentions men vs. how often he mentions women it really reminds me of a way of thinking I sometimes fall into in regards to my own sexuality. This is definitely just an internalized response and not something I actually believe when I truly think about it for a second, but I know these patterns of thought very well. Of observing my own behavior. How often do I find which gender attractive? Am I attracted "enough" to women? Do I talk about men's attractiveness too often? Is it the other way around? Am I only saying this woman is attractive to prove something to myself? I literally have a girlfriend and my attitude towards mine or other's sexual orientation is generally a huge big "whatever, I don't care". And I still have a passing thought like that from time to time.

So seeing people talk about a fictional character in this way really sends home how many people (whether consciously or unconsciously) see attraction as some sort of equation, you can solve, where in the end you get a result of either gay or straight.

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #this has been sitting in my drafts for a few days but i thought why not just post it. its been on my mind.#i saw someone in the notes under a post about astarion literally counting off how often he mentions men vs women #and asking for proof of where he shows he is in fact attracted to women.#like... do you see what you're doing here??#aaaand another thing since people love bringing up his flamboyancy.... he is obviously playing that up a lot #because you know... that whole 'i have to seduce people so i am safe' thing #not saying that thats not also the real him but breaking it down to flamboyant=gay makes even less sense in the context.#its not that i think people shouldn't headcanon him as gay or asexual or whatever #i think thats great too. seeing different people's readings of the character.#just.... leave out the bi-/panphobia ffs. people dont have to show proof that they are in fact bi/pan.

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spacebarbarianweird · 2 months

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Hello again,As discussed, here is the corrected enquiry:I would like to read a HC where Astarion and Tav go to a masquerade ball or similar festival where he is supposed to dress up, I look forward to the outcome

Sorry it took so long! All your requests are waiting in line!

For celebration I've chosen Lliira's Night which is known for dances and masquerade balls.

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion x You

The Lliira's Night Festival caught you on the outskirts of Neverwinter.

You have always been rather timid and a bit paranoid. Those big city festivals are infamous for debauchery.

Though, deep inside, you've always wanted to go.

At least, now you don't have to be afraid of anything.

Astarion won't let anyone hurt you, he will never let your hand go.

He is reluctant at first but then agrees to go.

Though he refuses to wear any mask or a costume.

He looks like a traveler who has been caught off guard by an unfamiliar celebration.

As for you... You take it as a challenge.

You dye your hair blue and get a golden dress. But as you walk together through the festive city you notice that most of the people have intricate masks.

"Your face is rather bare, don't you think?" Astarion chuckles.

"Yours too".

"Darling, it would be a pity to hide this pretty face from people", he draws an invisible line along his nose. "You want a mask, don't you? Use your words, my sweet."

You nod, knowing that the mask he's about to bring you won't be cheap or legally obtained.

Astarion distracts you making you watch the fireworks and disappear in the crowd.

He returns before you notice his absence - fast as a vampire, with the ability to walk on the ceiling, he has stolen a beautiful star-like mask from a drunken nobleman.

It fits perfectly and smells with expensive perfume.

You drag Astarion into the dancing crowd.

Lliira's Night is about joy and happiness.

Gods know, Astarion has had so little of them.

He talks. All the time. Jokes, banters, flirts with you as if he was still trying to seduce you.

And you realize something is wrong.

He doesn't behave like that when he is fine.

Astarion talks when he dissociates, he buries his fears in words.

"Are you all right?" you ask touching his cold cheek.

He stares at you as if not recognizing you. There is a panic in his crimson eyes.

Disgust on his perfect face.

Horror in his posture.

You grab his hand tighter and leave the crowd.

It's difficult to find a safe place for you two as the whole city is festive and crowded, but you manage to take him to the Inn and hide in the room you share together.

It's still not quiet enough - his sharpened senses are overwhelmed with voices and smells.

Astarion sits on the floor, piercing his scalp with sharp fingers.

You sit beside them, taking your mask off and hoping the sight of your face will calm him down.

"I am sorry," he finally says. "I've ruined it for you. You should go and dance, I will wait for you here."

You caress his cheek, and he snuggles up to you like a scared cat.

"Bad memories?"

"Such night festivals are a perfect hunting spot. Everyone is too drunk to notice they are flirting with a vampire. "

You feel the wave of embarrassment.

How couldn't you realize?

Astarion didn't want to go because he'd been through two hundred Lliira's Festivals, hunting and seducing.

"Why didn't you tell me? You could just tell me you didn't want to go?"

"I thought I could do it. Could forget it."

You spend the rest of the night in silence. His head is resting on your chest, and Astarion is soothed by your heartbeat and breathing.

You don't even notice the noise from the fireworks.

The next night you are ready to leave the city, but Astarion doesn't let you pack your things.

Together you return to the empty square, which looks like a cemetery of lost masks.

Then he takes your hand and invites you for a dance.

You dance in silence to the music in your heads, clumsily and happily.

If anyone sees you right now, they will think you are just a drunk couple, too wasted to go home.

Your legs finally get too sore, and you sit on the ground unable to stand up.

Astarion kneels beside you and kisses you.

He doesn't say anything, but you know he is fully present.

At this very moment.

With you.

Tag list

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theunsinkablesappho · 2 months

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Hazbin Hotel Thoughts

I'm on my second watch and have some thoughts. Would love to chat about these.

Spoilers, Obviously

I think Alastor is going to end up being an antagonist in the series at some point. As part of this, I think it's going to absolutely shatter Charlie when this is revealed, and that while it won't stop her optimistic belief in the power of change, it will significantly dampen the naivete we see in her right now.

I am really looking forward to the day that Charlie decides she has truly had enough of the way Valentino treats Angel Dust and goes toe to toe with him

I need more Carmilla Carmine and her lil family

Why is Carmilla so badass and her daughters both look like total NERDS (not that there is anything wrong with being nerds). They showed up to that Overlord meeting looking like her damn accountants. I think one of them IS her accountant.

My current theory is that Carmilla was a crime boss of some type in her real life - drug lord, war lord, something - and that she and her daughters were all killed at the same time. Maybe by a rival, maybe by the ATF/CIA, who knows.

Season 1 has established some clear character parallels between Carmilla Carmine and Vaggie. I would like to see this develop more.

Did Lucifer actually seduce Eve (aside from the apple) or was he just taunting Adam during the fight?

My brother pointed this one out: If Adam was the first soul in Heaven, that is really bad news for poor Abel.

I see a lot of people talking about Niffty like she's a child, but she appears to have canonically been in her 20s (born in the 30s, died in the 50s) when she died. My brother and I theorize that she's a speed-addicted housewife. Rationale: her default "weapon" is a giant sewing needle; she has something of a housewife aesthetic; the obsession with cleaning.

Maybe a weird thing to notice but Charlie appears to have a... snout? Like, in profile shots, there's no dip back into the face beneath her nose... which would imply that she has more of a snout shape than a human face shape. Neither Lucifer nor Lilith appear to have this, so I am curious...

Charlie writes a script in which a "good" Sir Pentious announces he is "off to NOT have premarital sex" ... while she is sharing a bed with the girlfriend she is clearly not married to. No one likes a hypocrit, Charlie. This entertains me wildly.

Speaking of that, was Lute being homophobic or racist when she called Vaggie and Charlie vile and disgusting?

My theory of the final fight is that Lucifer was nearby, watching the whole time, but that he did not intervene until Charlie was in real danger for 2 reasons. 1 is that he was trying to let her do this for herself and 2, I think part of the pardon deal he negotiated with Heaven requires him to stay out of the Exterminations. If we think clearly, there's no real incentive for Heaven to just grant a universal pardon to ALL the Hellborn (and the pardon was for ALL Hellborn, not just Charlie). But if Lucifer traded his participation for their protection - which is clearly in character for him, as he definitely wants Charlie safe - then that is a hell of an incentive. It both makes the Exterminations that much safer for the Exorcists, but it will demoralize the demons of the Pride Ring (because Lucifer won't defend them) and weaken Lucifer's influence (because he's a lazy king who won't protect them). If Lucifer comes in too fast and hot, then he could be seen as in violation and bring down exponentially worse upon the inhabitants of Hell. But with Adam attacking and threatening Charlie DIRECTLY (attacking her Hotel and the Sinners there wouldn't count), it could be argued that Adam was the first to violate this hypothetical agreement. (I mean, it could also be argued that Charlie violated it as well. I said it could be argued, not that he would necessarily win.) He even says it, when he comes after Adam after the hotel is broken "You come after me and MY DAUGHTER"

I don't like St. Peter. I have no super good reasons for this... I just hate his stupid little face and his stupid little... everything. Someone I know said he gives "televangelist vibes," so maybe that is it.

BUT WHERE IS EVE?!

#Hazbin Hotel #Charlie Morningstar #Vaggie #Lucifer Morningstar

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loki-is-my-kink-awakening · 4 months

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random thought I had at midnight:

if Mobius has seen every moment of Loki’s life

…EVERY MOMENT.

how do I word this

does that mean he’s seen Loki’s assets?

Midnight is sometimes when the most revelatory thoughts appear, like fic ideas.

I believe Mobius has seen it all. He's seen every form Loki's genitals have taken. He's seen Loki seduce and woo people. I firmly believe Loki has worn many different forms to do that. They've changed their shape accordingly. (Which makes Mobius saying to Loki, "It's got your shape," even more amusing).

Mobius has seen the good, bad, and downright painful moments from Loki's life. I don't believe Loki equated physical touch (and I mean clean wholesome physical touches here) as a good thing. Their body was a tool to use for a purpose but never something to be loved for themself. When they were touched on Jotunheim, their heritage was revealed by their skin turning blue. It's inferred that Loki used their body to seduce and thereby control those who were more powerful than them (Sakaar, etc). There were the occasional wholesome touches with family, but those were tinged with Loki feeling unloved and unworthy.

But after meeting Mobius, we see a Loki who is content to let themself be physically touched by Mobius. Mobius becomes this safe and trusted person to Loki.

I'm sorry, you asked me about Loki's genitals and here I am talking about trauma but I can't separate the two because the way Mobius saw those genitals usually revolved around when Loki was "wooing someone powerful" whom they intended to betray.

But let's look at Mobius seeing Loki self-pleasure, or even changing or bathing. I think that's one of the reasons we get lines like "It's got your shape" and "He knows" because Mobius has seen everything about Loki.

So, yes, Mobius has seen all of these things and has probably had to watch them at least once to know everything about how Loki operates, their true self. Obviously, there isn't consent from Loki for Mobius to watch these intimate moments, and the show kinda skirts around this aspect. It's mainly presented as "just part of the investigation." But there is an issue with how much private stuff is being revealed to Mobius without consent. (I also note Loki is a fictional character and we, the audience, will naturally see more about them than we would if they were a real-life person and in a way, it's like Mobius is watching a show of Loki's life).

However, Loki is a hedonist and I fully believe that now they know Mobius and there is trust, that they wouldn't mind the fact Mobius might have seen them have sex, self-pleasure or be naked with whatever genitals they had at that time.

And sex between Lokius is going to be a whole new experience for Loki because they can be truly vulnerable with someone for the first time. Like, imagine how that will feel. That's going to be intense. I think Loki would probably keep a male form that first time together with Mobius, but would be happier to explore thereafter.

Anyway, Mobius has definitely seen Loki's genitals in all forms and I firmly believe Mobius loves Loki no matter what shape or form they take.

Thank you for this ask. I really adore talking about Loki and Mobius.

#mobius #loki #lokius #loki x mobius #loki laufeyson #mobius m mobius #loki series #loki show #loki tv #wowki #lokius asks

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waitingforwinterwinds · 1 year

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A Clash of Kings - 60 SANSA VI (pages 763-769)

Sansa and Cersei dine with the highborn women and wait for news of the battle.

The torches shimmered brightly against the hammered metal of the wall sconces, filling the Queen's Ballroom with silvery light. Yet there was still darkness in that hall.

Oh that's some good metaphor. The room is filled with an illusion of safety and security, but they aren't safe, and the room isn't actually that secure and that possibility is hanging over them as much as the death of the men on the walls.

"I would sooner face any number of swords than sit helplessly like this, pretending to enjoy the company of this flock of frightened hens." "You asked them here, Your Grace." "Certain things are expected of a queen. They will be expected of you should you ever wed Joffrey. Best learn." ... "- So it behooves me to give their women my protection.If my wretched imp of a brother should somehow prevail, they will return to their husbands and fathers full of tales about how brave I was, how my courage inspired them and lifted their spirits, how I never doubted our victory even for a moment." ... Sansa was horrified. "These are women, unarmed , and gently born." "Their birth protects them," Cersei admitted, "though not as much as you'd think. -" ... "Were it anyone else outside the gates, I might hope to beguile him. But this is Stannis Baratheon. I'd have a better chance of seducing his horse." She noticed the look on Sansa's face, and laughed. "Have I shocked you, my lady?" She leaned close. "You little fool. Tears are not a woman's only weapon. You've got another one between your legs, and you'd best learn to use it. You'll find men use their swords freely enough, Both kinds of swords."

Sorry, I've been taken out of The Horrors but the realisation that Sansa is Cersei's only friend. Like it's very easy to accept at face value that this is just Cersei flexing her limited power to feel in control by lashing out at Sansa, but damn if this doesn't read like Cersei genuinely thinks of Sansa as her protege, the closest thing she has to a confidant.

Ii mean yes, Cersei has other people she can talk to, but none who she can be honest with without the fear that they'll be able to use that against her. In a weird and twisted way, for Cersei at this moment: Sansa is her only friend.

This is very emotionally conflicting for me because on one hand ^ that ^ and on the other: The Horrors and the Lurking Doom Waiting the Eventuality of Failure.

"Another lesson you should learn, if you hope to sit beside my son. Be gentle on a night like this, and you'll have popping up all about you like mushrooms after a hard rain. The only way to keep your people loyal is to make certain they fear you more than they do the enemy." "I will remember, Your Grace," said Sansa, though she had always heard that love was a surer route to the people's loyalty than fear. If i am ever a queen, I'll make them love me.

Oh! It's the line!

"Would that I could take a sword to their necks myself." Her voice was starting to slur. "When we were little, Jaime and i were so much alike that even our lord father could not tell us apart. Sometimes as a lark we would dress in each other's clothes and spend a whole day each as the other. Yet even so, when Jaime was given his first sword, there was none for me. -"

Well hello Arya|Cersei connections.

No but, I've mentioned before, Cersei represents the "sold child bride" narrative Dany and Sansa both have going on, or at least a potential outcome for their narrative, but Cersei also has "Arya's path/Lady warrior: Denied" going on in the back story.

...I've just realised this has basically become a Cersei chapter review, whoops. XD

"- I know all about your little treason in the godswood." "The godswood?" Don't look at Ser Dontos, don't, don't, Sansa told herself. She doesn't know, no one knows, Dontos promised me, my Florian would never fail me. "I've done no treasons. I only visit the godswood to pray." "For Stannis. Or your brother, it's all the same. Why else seek out your father's gods? You're praying for our defeat. What would you call that, if not treason?"

Well handled! Never confess to a crime, especially if it hasn't been directly stated which crime, and there is no evidence, you will only end up condemning yourself. Sansa did really well not to look at her partner in crime, cause that kind of thing is a reflexive action, very hard to avoid. People will often look to accomplices or hiding spots or move to hide those things without thinking, only to end up exposing them because people notice.

I've actually exploited this habit myself to trick my dad once, he was looking for the candy stash years ago, so I "subtly" moved in front of the broom closet, and he ended up spending several extra minutes looking in there for the stash that had never been there in the first place because he'd become convinced I'd been trying to hide it. >:3c

"He's here for us, he says," the queen said. "Stannis may take the city and he may take the throne, but I will not suffer him to judge me. I do not mean for him to have us alive." "Us?" "You heard me. So perhaps you had best pray again, Sansa, and for a different outcome. The Starks will have no joy from the fall of House Lannister, I promise you." She reached out and touched Sansa's hair, brushing it lightly away from her neck.

"Cersei brushes Sansa's hair away from her neck." Yeah, no, we get it Cersei, matching haircuts with a little too much off the top.

Cersei: I'm not letting them take us alive! Sansa: wait what? Cersei: we are gonna Thelma & Louise right of this edge! Sansa: Can I unsubscribe to this plan? Cersei: Beheadings

I was very distracted for most of this chapter by the "Cersei's only friend" realisation, but it's very much Sansa doing an amazing job of keeping it together under increasing pressure while Cersei slowly lowkey loses her shit in the face of their potentially unfortunate fate.

#a clash of kings #a song of ice and fire #sansa stark #a chapter a day reading #acok #asoiaf

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queerticulate · 2 years

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I gotta say the whole supposed moral panic about fetishizing gay men through fandom seems like a bit of a trojan horse for homophobia to me. People of a variety of sexes and orientations finding gay sex/romance appealing is not a bad thing. What is a bad thing is when women start harassing gay men to join them in the bedroom, or random people disturb gay "couples" in public with sexualized remarks on their displays of affection or lust for each other. Now I have been very active in my local and national LGBT scene for years now, and you know how often I've heard of this happening? Never.

You know what does happen a lot? This being done to queer women. I myself and pretty much all of my friends have multiple experiences of this happening. Men commenting on you when you're kissing a girl in a bar or nightclub, men whistling when you hold hands in public, men who become obsesses with trying to seduce you when you say you're a lesbian. I even was with a lesbian couple when they got sexually assaulted by a man during freaking Pride. So for one, I think the panic is really overbearing, and very misdirected. If you want to help LGBT people and protect them from harm resulting from being fetishized... direct your efforts at protecting queer women.

Absent of real life consequences, I gotta wonder how many people rage about the potential of people of a variety of sexes and orientations getting off on the idea of (attravtive) guys having sex or a romance say this, because truly they cannot cope with gay sex or romance being considered something attractive at all. A lot of homophobia that queer people experience is centered around this belief that we have to cower and beg to be accepted, that we have to present ourselves as the abberation to the perfect cishet folks. If we act like our lifes and loves are just as normal or in our eyes better than cishet stuff, we are often punished as being too much. Queer men especially face a lot of punishment for existing in public and expressing their sexuality. Any public display of affection regularly gets met with disgust, hate, or even violence. I know so many guys who are scared to kiss or hold hands in public. I also know several recent stories of gay men being beat up within my city. Male on male sexuality is also treated as something dirty. Immediately if you participated in it, no matter if you only ever had a 100% safe sex, in my country you immediately get signed up for more extensive health checks. You get barred from blood donations too, also for being in a gay relationship at all regardless of your sex pratices. Heck, even if I as a woman would have sex with a queer man I get the same treatment. So really, people in fandom creating some online buzz about 'wouldnt it be cool if these guys kissed/fucked/were in love' really feels like it does more against real life homophobia for queer men as i see it existing, by normalizing it, by lifting it up as desirable, than it seems to do harm. Cause the main problem is and has been that queer guys are told they cant exist, or need to be scared, or are dirty. All this talk online that so much attention going out to fantasized queer men's relationships is bad, that you're a dirty freak if you do that, i don't know, it mostly sounds like reinforcing the main form of homophobia queer men face.

Now the world is a big place, and i cannot presume to know about all local variants of homophobia and common queer experiences. Maybe there are places in the world where queer men publicly getting harassed as if they're sex dolls is a huge issue. In which case: your complaints are valid. I am sorry people in your life are going through that. I am sorry this post feels like another horror thrown on top of it. But maybe, when adressing a global audience... do as i do here... presume not the whole world works in alignment with your local point of view. Contextualize your complaints. Let your brothers and sisters in another country know you're fighting against stuff happening in your area, instead of just being another demon coming to reinforce homophobia.

#rant #homophobia #shipping #mlm ships #fandom #lgbt #im just grossed out by in how many fandoms a weird combo of 'no you cant talk about them being gay thats bad' with #'but we can talk about the filthiest straight fantasies with the same guys' has arisen #and a lot of talk about how a popular mlm ship must be fetishization #how it must be that people are judt doing it cause the guys are attractive and that this is somehow wrong #it really feels like people are shaming queer sexuality and romance in itself and disguising it in social justice talk to get away with it

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limpfisted · 8 months

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wyll and romance! (spoilers for: wylls romance! its VERY cute. i recommend spoiling urself for it tho unless u plan a whole wyll specific playthru bc there r. very few scenes lol. like less than 30 minutes total.)

so i did not get this on my playthrough bc i felt weird to try to “persuade” wyll to kiss astarion on that save, but the fact that if u do, the next day he has a specific exclusive dialogue where this grown ass man says “my cheeks feel warm. am i blushing? i must be blushing.” with like the giddiness of the debutante ballerina he is, tells me that.

wyll loves when other people make the moves on him n are the “initiator.” he also doesn’t disapprove when ur slightly mean/overtly rude or call him a devil in his romance scenes, which means that, he has a good sense of humor, he likes em mean, or soft, as long as they’re giving him attention n he gets to see them smile and feel joy around him.

i feel that wyll has spent the great majority of his life alone exploring the world. some days mizora was his sole company, n only then thru his seeing eye, n thats not company he cares to keep despite his great yearning for the power she gives him. his experience romancing mostly comes from his teenage years—and while he has stoked his fires at a tavern or two or with a grateful survivor of misfortune, there’s a lot of time spent alone, thinking, playing pretend in his head, fantasizing. not always about romance, mind u—he’s not THAT much of a schoolgirl, n there were powers to master and training to be done even on his own. but under the stars—sometimes he dreamed of the ballrooms, even tho he danced alone.

i think he imagined a great love like the player character would come along. i imagine a part of him wished to be saved, and loved, despite or because of mizora. he’s not used to tender care, used to playing the charming hero, never being protected himself

when he is expressly sought after he gets embarrassed and extra romantic. he swoons when seduced. he can dish it out—see: his banter with SH and lae—but he can barely take “being taken care of”—especially when it’s so genuine, and he’s hurting so deeply, n his passions are stoked by a devil’s cinders…. n by a disgust with himself that only feels fixed, really, when they let him know his body and presence still make them feel “safe.” that he’s not an abomination or a monster—they’re still interested, they still care, he’s worth loving, or maybe, in wyll’s eyes, still turning their gaze upon, a summer setting sun.

he appreciates you so, so much. but also it’s a sistraction from the way his body n mind have changed. one he welcomes. one he craves, but can look upon with wonder instead of guilt. u save him from himself and his wallowing. u let him be a simple, ordinary fairy tale, even tho a devil cannot be a prince. that’s all he wants. maybe some u know, forbidden tomes n noble delights n excess as well, but mostly just a fairy tale. he promises!!!

in addition, and this is random, but i think wyll would be so good to be in a relationship with if u have mental illness. he doesn’t understand some things—like gale’s sacrifice—but he is so kind to dark urge. he knows you are not your intrusive thoughts, u just need help, and u can fight or overcome any feelings or thoughts that would harm u, n he thinks ur so brave for it, n he trusts u completely, like he hopes u trust him. hes no stranger to depression n self loathing n a lust for darkness after all, wyll sold his soul for the stuff, even if it was for all the right reasons tho i maintain the details r sketchy as hell.

if this all seems overly poetic its bc im practicing wyll’s voice here, a mini sample of what shipping would be like, LOL.

and this is with only two romantic scenes. then sixty hours later he proposes marriage with a magic acorn so full of love u can feel its magic warmth beneath the shell. i would love to see romances with player characters (companions included if they are “the player character) where we flesh that shit out! lmao

#INSIGHT CHECK. ooc. hc #ooc

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titties-and-trauma · 10 months

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mine.

nothing has ever been mine. my clothes were bought by the evil ones. my tech was bought by the wicked. my living space was not mine. it was theirs.

i don’t know why the evil, wretched creatures bought me things. maybe it was to satiate me. seduce me into thinking that they were kind and then stab me in the fucking jaw right as I relaxed.

maybe it was so nicole could keep touching my seven year old pussy

maybe it was so david could grope and play with my five year old brother’s ass

maybe it was because they knew i never viewed them as having any sort of inherent connection to me. so they wanted to create that physical connection through items.

all i know is that over time, because i was not allowed to connect to anyone human, i connected to items. i would sing my penguin eraser to sleep and tuck it in beside me. i would kiss my stuffed animals and tell them they were loved and cherished. and i would talk to a metal trinket, imagining it was a phone and the person i was talking to on the other side was a girl just like me.

as i grew older, i would spend a lot of time online. i spent a lot of time writing. i spent a lot of time connecting with people online. that’s a whole other can of worms though.

i hoard now. i hoard everything. im scared i won’t have something i need. im scared that someone will take my things away and then i’ll be helpless. just like how nicole and david took away my innocence. just like how they ripped my posters off of my walls (that i saved up the money for) and threw them away.

i just want to have a space that’s mine. i want to live in a place that i am in control of. i want to have a chance, a real chance. i know i can do good. please. i’ve waited so long to feel safe. i’ve waited patiently on my tips of my toes, ready to be strangled to death at any second, but also ready for the possibility that one day i would maybe get away from the demons, and be safe.

i just want to feel at home. i want to be at home. i want it to feel happy in my house. i want it to be pretty. i want to feel at peace with the world when i sink into the couch. i want to feel my stress left at the door.

i want to feel human. i don’t want to feel like a naked eight year old girl again: powerless, embarrassed, angry, hopeless, and abused.

please, it’s my only wish

i just want to feel happy where i live

i want to be proud

i don’t want nicole to scream at all my friends and call them whores when they walk through the door

i don’t want my friends to feel scared at my house anymore

but here’s the problem

david wants to pick out everything about the place.

how refreshing.

i have hand me-down “shit” furniture (his own words)

and there’s no guarantee i’ll leave as soon as i need to to survive

i just want to know

why does he want to control everything

about a place he isn’t living

it hurts

i told him i just wanted to feel safe where i live

i want it to feel like it is mine

he doesn’t even understand what the words coming out of my mouth mean anymore.

he’s fucked up on coke and alcohol.

probably drunk driving going 110mph on some highway

god i fucking hate him

one day he’ll experience what it feels like to not feel safe every day of your fucking life

and then finally see the opportunity waved in front of you

be scared to take it

not trust it

but want it SO FUCKING BAD

so reach out

and it’s another fucking sham by a cokehead pedophile schizophrenic who deserves the goddamn electric chair. fucking cunt. fucking bitch. goddamn retard go die

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sequencefairy · 2 years

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Witcher fics I have told people I want to write that I probably won't so someone else needs to:

Fic built entirely around food shared on the road and around campfires and etc. Think candied fruit and nuts handed out to stave off afternoon peckishness, dried sausage taken as payment when there's no coin, the winter where Jaskier finds someone selling oranges and he buys as many as he has pockets to carry them in and gives them to Geralt and Ciri and Yennefer for Yule. Foraging for mushrooms and scapes and fiddleheads and wild tubers to make their stew pot go further. The thrill of fresh baked bread shared with the people you love. Ciri's pleasure at a bag of saltwater taffy carried safe the length of the Continent from a journey across to Skellige. Shared wine skins and demijohns of vodka around the campfire. Just, you know, love is stored in the sharing of food, yeah?

Fic where Yennefer decides Jaskier deserves nice things and bedecks him in finery and keeps him in rings and comfortable boots and warm mittens and silk ribbons and takes him to functions as her pretty thing, all dressed to her pleasure and for her eyes only and he loves it.

Fic where Jaskier has a side hustle as a nude model in the winter, leftover from when he did it during his schooling to make a couple extra crowns (and seduce anyone who'd let him) and now that he's properly famous, there's a little cottage industry of ppl making prints and fair copies of the sketches and selling them and Jaskier buys them any time he comes across them because he thinks they're great, and then after he's wanted by Nilfgaard, he collects his wanted posters and complains loudly about how they don't get his nose or his jaw or etc right.

Yennskier sexy knife play, as is good and correct. (my first born to whomever writes this one)

Fic where Yennefer is the one with the oranges to share at Yule in Kaer Morhen and it's coooold but the furs are warm in Geralt's bed and Jaskier tastes like orange zest and love is absolutely stored in the orange slices and the warmth of a hearth in the dark.

Fic where Ciri decides she has had enough of her three parents pussyfooting around each other and sends them off to somewhere they cannot get back from until they figure out their feelings (and fuck about it obvs).

Fic focused on how Geralt and Jaskier are both men who must look after the tools of their trade and sword sharpening is kin to lute maintenance and doing it for each other is where the love is stored.

Fic that leans into general hedgewitchery and spends a lot of time on the ritual of magic and the way that love is also a ritual and a magic and Yennefer relates to her lovers and her daughter in the runes and the herbs and the athame.

Fic where Jaskier only finds out he can't die when he tries to for Yennefer and she gets very mad at him and then they have sex about it because I am a simple woman with simple desires.

Fic where Geralt and Jaskier have a standing date with a working girl at a fine establishment but neither of them have figured out that they can fuck each other without her between them yet.

Fic told entirely through the letters Jaskier sends Geralt when they're not travelling together.

Fic where Jaskier's whole reputation is all a bunch of bullshit which comes to a head hilariously.

#the witcher #geraskier #yennskier #geraskefer #i have so many ideas and very little time

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erule · 3 years

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The frat party | t.h.

Title: The frat party

Pairing: Frat boy!Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1823

Warnings: frat boy Tom, angst, nakedness (nothing sexual though, no smut in this chapter), mention of sex, implied smut, cliffhanger at the end, jealous Tom, language, OC Oliver, violence (one punch), blood, plot twists.

Summary: Tom and the reader met at a frat party, but a year later they broke up because of some reason. Now, rumor has it that the reader is dating one of Tom’s friends and he gets jealous.

A/N: Hello hello, I’m back! Have you seen Tom’s recent pics in Monaco?? He looked amazing! Anyway, I don’t know why, but I just had to write a fic with frat boy!Tom, so enjoy!

If you wanna be tagged in my Tom Holland fics, just let me know in my ask box! You can also find me on AO3 and Wattpad. Feedback is always appreciated by a writer!

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Tom Holland Masterlist

Peter Parker Masterlist

Chapter 1

Break up with my ex girlfriend

Frat parties. Am I right? Worst part of college life. A lot of people drink to forget about their grades and how their lives went wrong, while someone’s just hoping to have some fun with them (if you know what I mean). For the first year, I hated them with passion, but it was before I met him. At a frat party. Oh, the irony! And then, frat parties were the only chance I had to actually talk to him. It didn’t take us long enough to start dating. I think that adults tell you fairy tales to make you grow up with a hope, the hope to find your real happy ending, your true love. Well, I wasn’t used to believe in them, but the year I spent with Tom… that was close to the definition of happy ending. The problem with happy endings? They don’t tell you what happens after them. And that’s because they’re a nightmare.

“Tell me that now or you’re not gonna find me in this bed tomorrow”, he says and there’s a part of me that wants to die right here and right now. I shake my head. I don’t want to do that. Not because I don’t feel anything for him, but I’m scared that this will complicate things between us and it’s the last thing I want. “Are you serious, Y/N? You really think that saying something like that during sex doesn’t count? Calling someone on the phone means something, even if you’re drunk as Hell. So tell me what you really feel about me right now or I swear, I’m out of this room. I’m out of this kind of weird relationship that’s going on between us for years,” Tom says and the veins on his arms draw a beautiful map on his body, in which the moles are cities and his eyes are volcanoes. They’re burning, unlike my skin, that is freezing because I’m not wearing anything at the moment. Except for my shame, perhaps. My insecurities, that never leave me. Even in front of Tom.

“You don’t mean that,” I try to say, my mouth dry. But he’s insanely angry. In another situation, it would be hot.

“I do, Y/N,” he replies. I swallow. His expression softens, like he’s in pain. He comes closer to me, brushing my cheeks with his hands. My eyes are full of tears. His words feel like a prayer on my skin. “Please, tell me”.

And even if I don’t wanna do that, my hands are tied. Even if that’s a lie. I remain in silence. One second after that, he’s gone. Tom always keeps his promises, after all.

2 months before

Harrison sat down with a strange look on his face. It only meant one thing for Tom: trouble. He sighed, throwing away the third cigarette of the day. Jacob raised an eyebrow, trying to get rid of the stench of smoke with one hand.

“I thought you wanted to quit smoking,” Jacob said.

“Relax, I only smoke before finals now,” Tom said. “What’s up, mate? Come on, talk”.

Harrison raised a corner of his lips in a smirk.

“Rumor has it, that Oliver’s got a girlfriend,” he said.

“No way!” Jacob exclaimed.

“Oh, fuck me,” Tom said, laying on the grass with his hands behind his neck, glancing at a couple of girls who were passing by.

“I haven’t said the best part yet, though,” Harrison continued. Jacob urged him to speak further. “He’s gonna throw a party for his birthday and he’ll introduce her to his friends. But since we’re his friends, I was wondering why I haven’t told us anything about this gal in weeks. So I played Sherlock Holmes for a couple of hours and I found out that… we actually know this girl,” he said.

“I bet she’s someone of the campus,” Tom joked, as if it was obvious.

“I bet she’s someone’s ex girlfriend,” Jacob replied.

Harrison remained quiet, but he was smiling.

“You gotta be kidding me,” Tom said, astonished, while sitting on the grass again.

“I won!” Jacob yelled.

“Who’s she? I hooked up with…”

“Ex girlfriend, Tom. It’s not some random girl you hooked up with. She’s someone you remember very well,” Harrison said.

“So we’re talking about me, uh? Well, let’s see… is it Janine? We lasted two weeks, I wouldn’t be mad about her,” he shrugged. Harrison swallowed.

“It’s someone you would be mad about,” Jacob guessed. “And there’s just one person that you would be mad about”.

Tom’s eyes widened at the realization.

“He’s fucking dead”.

Two days after that conversation, here they were: the three of them were laying with their backs on the wall like they were sustaining it from falling down. Tom had threatened Oliver with a Dare to explain, mate?, but his answer was just an I’m sorry Tom, but she’s just your ex. I don’t have to ask for your permission. Or does this mean that you’re still not over her? So, since Tom values too much his pride, he said that he was over her and that Oliver was right, he didn’t have to ask for his permission. Oliver apologized for not telling him that before and then walked away, leaving Tom to smoke the whole pack of cigarettes. Tom was watching Oliver talking with Elizabeth, one of your friends, when he saw you and Zendaya arrive at the party. In his opinion, you were stunning. You immediately caught his gaze. You just never failed to amaze him, even after a year. His heart ached at the view, but it ached even more when you greeted Oliver. You gave him a kiss on his cheek, clenching your hand in a fist. It seemed like you were uncomfortable. So, he came up with a plan to save you.

“Wait for me here,” he said to his friends, then he walked fast to reach you. “Hey mate, happy birthday!” Tom said to Oliver, who hugged him.

“Thanks, Tom. I think that you already know Y/N, Lizzie and Z,” he said and you smiled along with your friends, even if you looked more surprised than happy.

“Of course, I do,” Tom said, looking directly at you. You looked down. “Could I please talk to Y/N? We haven’t been in touch for quite some time and I’d like to catch up with her,” he asked.

“Sure!” Oliver said, while Zendaya seemed looking at you with a concerned expression. You winked at her.

Tom made you move away from Oliver by brushing your back, walking to the next exit. He lowered his voice in order to talk with you only, speaking to your hear: “You look ravishing, darling”.

He noticed that you closed your eyes for a very long second, but you didn’t say a word about that.

“Are you here to show that you still own me or something?”

“I don’t own you, darling. You’re absolutely free to do anything you like,” he said, lighting a cigarette outside the building.

“Z said you wanted to quit smoking,” you said, furrowing your eyebrows.

“I only smoke before finals”.

“Finals were yesterday,” you replied.

“Are we here to talk about me or you? I noticed that you were uncomfortable with Oliver, but I thought that you were his girlfriend. Wouldn’t it be weird?”

You smirked.

“Oh, now I get it. You’re jealous”.

“Nah, If I’d be jealous, you would know, trust me,” Tom said, with a playful tone.

“What would you do?” You asked, curiousity eating you alive. You wanted to know so bad if he still had feelings for you.

“Don’t play with fire, darling. You’re gonna burn your pretty hands, otherwise,” he replied, running a finger over his lip. Shivers ran through your spine, but you hoped that Tom didn’t notice it.

“Don’t try to seduce me, Holland. You’re not gonna win this time,” you said, chuckling. “And for the record, we’re not dating. He’s just insistent,” you explained.

Tom looked inside and saw Oliver staring at the two of you. An idea came up into his mind and he couldn’t quite get rid of it. It was smart, but also terrifying. It was very dangerous, yet he had to try.

“We could be in a fake relationship. It could fool everyone,” he proposed.

You turned to look at him, astonished.

“Even after what happened?”

Tom’s eyes were locked with yours, but his facial muscles didn’t move at all. If he still was hurt by the reason that made you two break up, he didn’t show it to you.

“He’s coming here,” he said instead, glancing at Oliver.

“Tom, this is insane,” you kept going. “You said you couldn’t forgive me after…”

It happened all too fast. All the lights went out at the same time. Tom's lips were on yours in an instant. Everything was on fire, every inch of your body. Every cell your flash was made of exploded like a dying supernova. A moment later, someone snatched him from your hands, leaving you in the cold.

Oliver hit him. Tom laughed, nervously, but then he grabbed the collar of Oliver’s shirt and slammed him against the wall, angrily. You pounced on Tom, trying to pull him away from Oliver. At first, Tom looked at you confused, thinking that you just wanted to keep Oliver safe from him, but your eyes told him another story: you prevented him to be kicked out from the campus.

“I told you, you’d know,” he said, while wiping a trickle of blood from his mouth, pretending to be the tough guy he wasn’t.

“Guys, I think we should leave,” Jacob said, while Harrison was taking Tom away from Oliver by his arm.

“I thought we were friends, Tom,” Oliver said, an inch of hurting in his voice tone.

“That was before you came after the only thing I care about,” he said harshly. And then, he left with Harrison and Jacob.

That night, while Tom was cleaning himself of blood in the bathroom, Jacob was staring at him worried, while standing with one arm against the door jamb.

“You never told me what happened, you know, with Y/N last year. Haz doesn’t want to tell me, he thinks it’s up to you. You said that you were over her, but I don’t think you are, since what you did tonight,” he said. Tom kept wiping away the blood from his shirt, ignoring Jacob’s words. “Why have you broken up with her, Tom? It seems pretty obvious that you’re still in love with her”.

Tom gulped, while looking at himself in the mirror. He had tried to bury all of his memories deep down, but it seemed that now the demons wanted to come back and play with him once again. Maybe it had finally come the time to confront them.

When he spoke, his voice was low and hoarse: “Because she cheated on me”.

Read chapter 2 here!

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland smut #frat boy tom holland fanfiction #frat boy tom holland #fratboy!tom holland #frat boy tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland ff #tom holland imagine #tom holland headcanon #tom holland hc #erule's masterlist #peter parker x reader #tom holland

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theshelbyclan · 4 years

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Swords and Daggers

Summary: When a family meeting is interrupted by your sudden menstrual cramps, your brothers do everything in their power to take care of you

(gif by @nofckingfighting) A/N: Anon requested: can you do a shelby!sister imagine where she’s gets these awful cramps and in the middle of a family meeting she just bursts into tears because it hurts so bad and omg the boys would be so soft As I’m currently dying of cramps, it made sense to write this. It’s short, but I hope you like it. Words: 1585 *** “This Saturday,” Tommy started, “We’re going legit. John, you and Johnny Dogs are gathering the men at the Charlie’s yard. Arthur, I need you on the tracks, keep the Lee men off. You can take Finn. I will create a distraction and… Y/N, are you okay?” “Fine,” you ground out, not really wanting to attract attention to yourself, “Tell me where I’ll be.”

“At home,” your brother said shortly. “Like hell I am,” you said, “If we’re going legit, I want in. Why the fuck else am I even here?” “Fuck if I know,” Polly sighed, “being decorative, I suppose.” Tommy shot daggers at his aunt and then turned back to you, “If you ladies have any problems with how I run…” “If we have any problems, we know to shut out mouths and get on with it,” Ada commented from the other side of the round table. “Remember we used to run this entire organisation, Thomas,” Polly scolded, “While you boys were off to France.” “Yes,” Thomas sighed, downing his drink, “I am aware, Pol,” Her look still had some effect on him, much to her satisfaction, “You remember that when you no longer care for our input.” “Fine!” he caved, “Y/N, what role do you want to play?” But you had stopped listening already. In all honesty, you didn’t feel well at all and so Tommy’s words seem to come from very far away. Still, you’d fought years and years to feel like you were a part of the Shelby Company Limited. Women were respected in this family, but never quite on the same level as the men. Sure, it’d been fine for you to take care of business while your brothers were away, and you and Aunt Polly had happily taken on the entire enterprise. With her head for strategy and your head for numbers, sharing the iron Shelby backbone, it’d been quite the dream team. But the boys came back and without many words of thanks, it’d been taken from you as well. There were so many mixed emotions that came with their return from France, but a day didn’t go by that you didn’t curse those men up top who decided to send boys into the mud to die for them. Tommy still stared at you, impatient and a little annoyed, so you said, “I’ll go to Epsom early. I still have the dress. I’ll let Arthur know where the Lee men are and what they’re planning.” Arthur grumbled something inaudibly and when you fixed him with one of your glares, he said, “You want to waltz in there, all dolled up and ready for the taking by any Lee bastard?” “Think I can’t do it, Arthur?” you said coldly. “We know you can do it,” Tommy interrupted, “Doesn’t mean we have to like it.” “I’m not fucking seven, Thomas,” you spat. Another sharp pain went through you and you found yourself physically doubling over in your chair. John immediately turned towards you, “What’s the matter?” “I’m good,” you tried to smile. “Doesn’t look like it…” “Maybe it’s food poisoning,” Arthur ventured. “It’s not.” “What is it then?” Both brothers said in unison. “Just…” you gritted your teeth as another wave of pain came over you, “leave me alone!” “Can’t do that, little sister,” Arthur moved to touch your arm, but you angrily pushed him away.

“She’s not doing good, Tommy,” John’s voice was full of alarm.

Arthur even stood up, “And she’s not fighting any bloody Lee men like that!”

“Calm down,” Aunt Polly said, “Women have been doing it for ages, every month, come hell or high water.”

“That may be so,” Tommy put down his drink, “but this is our sister.”

“I’m fine…” you croaked again, but you weren’t, at all.

“You’re not,” another unhelpful brother said, “you need to be in bed.”

“WILL YOU ALL FUCKING STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO FUCKING DO!” you suddenly burst out, and before you knew it, you had started sobbing.

“Oh no…” John said softly.

“Tom,” Arthur said unsurely, not knowing what to do with himself, “What do we do?”

He quickly took charge and picked you up from your seat. Held bridal style, he walked around the table and you could feel your brothers’ gaze on you, “She needs to be in bed.”

You still protested weakly, “Tommy…”

“Shhh,” he said softly, “We can talk about your plan to seduce the Lees in the morning, eh?”

As he walked with you up the stairs, you suddenly felt yourself lean into him. It felt safe, right there in his arms.

“Water bottles?” you heard one panicky brother shout downstairs.

“Boil the water!” the other replied, “I’ll get the blankets!”

“Ada! Where the bloody hell did you hide that chocolate?!”

You had to smile a little, “You’d think I’m dying…”

“Well, the truth is, sweetheart,” Tommy said in that soft voice he reserved only for you, “We have no idea what you’re going through. We spend half our lives talking to women, flirting with women, being with women…”

“Yeah, alright, I get the point,” you cut him off jokingly.

He pretended like he hadn’t heard you, but a small smile was tugging at his lips, “But we have no idea what it feels like, to lose all that blood…”

“What about France?” you asked.

“That was different, love,” he gently placed you on your bed, “That was a one-time thing and not a monthly struggle. Besides, we weren’t expected to just ignore it and get on with work.”

“I want to work,” you pouted.

Tommy sighed, “Y/N. Listen to me. I know you want to work for the company. I know you. You’re a Shelby and you don’t like being idle. I know. But for tonight, work is done. Get some sleep, eh?”

Suddenly, Arthur came rushing in. It was clear he felt incredibly awkward, but the fact that his arms were filled with hot-water bottles, blankets and chocolate showed he cared, deeply. There were times that you loved your awkward brother more than anyone in the world, and this was one of those moments. You smiled at him full of gratitude and he left quickly after, knowing he’d be back every few hours to check on you. He was the oldest brother after all.

You tried to find a comfortable position for a few moments and the occasional grunt of pain escaped your lips. Tommy looked at you with worry written all over his face, “Don’t know how you fucking do it every month…” he whispered.

“Careful,” you feigned shock, “people might think you’re a feminist.”

He slowly lit a cigarette, “And what if I am, eh?”

You scoffed and reached out, “Give me the cigarette. It helps.”

Another few minutes passed and John stuck his head around the door, “Y/N? Esme tells me it helps when I rub her back. Do you need me to do that?”

“I’ll be fine, John, thanks,” you smiled at him. Where you and Arthur had a bond that required no words, with John it was all words, but they were always good and open and honest. If you needed to talk, you turned to John.

He paused for a second, “What about a doctor, do you need a doctor?”

This made you laugh out loud, “John, sweetheart, this is perfectly normal and it does happen every month. We’d be wasting the doctor’s time!”

“Esme told me to tell you that it’s perfectly normal and there’s nothing wrong with you…”

“I know, John. I’m sixteen: I’ve been doing this for a while now.”

“Right,” he mumbled, “I knew that…”

“John?” you eventually asked and when he looked at you again, you said, “Thank you. I’ll manage.”

“Will you let me know?” John said with a serious look on his face, “If you do need something?”

“How? You’re four houses away. I’m not screaming loud enough for you to hear it, waking up the whole bloody street!”

“Just knock,” he replied, “Sleeping in my old bed tonight, just down the hall,” and before you could protest, he was gone and called from the hall, “Goodnight, babe!”

Tommy still sat in the corner, smoking quietly. You weren’t quite sure why he was there, but his presence was comforting. With Arthur it was protection, with John it was words, but with Tommy it was just his presence. When you two locked eyes, he gave you a warm smile, and it was just like you were six again. Before that god-awful war, he’d always been there. Tommy was the brother who couldn’t be dragged away from his little sister, always trying to get you to ride his pony. He followed you wherever you went and he gave you everything you ever wanted. But after the war, his head was filled with smoke, mud and ambition. But this, this felt like before, and it was good. Maybe it was even worth the swords and daggers attacking your uterus at the moment.

You started feeling yourself drifting off to sleep, with the warm bottle pressed against your abdomen. But before you slept, you mumbled, “I love you, Tommy…”

“Is this another hormonal thing?” a deep voice said in reply, with some sarcasm echoing through.

“Probably,” you smirked, “I’ll hate you again tomorrow, alright?”

“Good. You can take out that anger on the Lees, eh?”

“I will,” you heard your own voice was getting muffled. Still, you felt a small triumph of being allowed to go in the morning.

“Sleep, Y/N,” he almost sung, from a great distance it seemed, “And I love you too.”

***

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where-theres-smoak-2 · 3 years

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If Aleks was supposed to be this super evil big bad why didn’t he make Alina pretty much his prisoner from the get go? He could have readily lied and isolated her until finding the stag without attempting to seduce her or whatever and once the stag was in his hands he could have just forced her to wear it or better yet find a way to transfer all her power to him leaving her to die without her powers to keep her healthy. That’s what a true villain would have done instead of the parody of one we got,IMO.

(Trigger warning: mentions of abuse)

You're right that would make him more of a villain. But LB had that whole cautionary tale she was trying to tell of beware the hot charismatic men they be evil. Don't fall for the hot older guy they be evil. I also think she wanted that whole plot twist of the darkling actually being the bad guy so needed him to be a decent guy in the first half of the book so that it would be oh so shocking when it reveals that Alina was manipulated by him. There are couple of problems with this though. The first is that it is poorly written I mean I wouldn't call a couple of conversations and two kisses a master manipulation personally but hey that's just me. The second is that the cautionary tale very much like the secondary 'power corrupts' one that exists in the trilogy is outdated and overdone. Everyone knows that sometimes older powerful men manipulate women, particularly younger women, for their own ends. Like I don't feel like anyone needs to be told that manipulators are charismatic and charming, obviously they are, if they were antisocial and mean they would have a real hard time manipulating anyone. Also like how power doesn't always corrupt not every good looking powerful man is going to abuse and manipulate you. Then there is also the fact that if she really wanted to stick with the 'powerful men' cautionary tale then there were other characters in the book that were actually better suited to it then the darkling, like the king or prince vasily. This is just my opinion and I am sure there will be those who disagree with me but I think the problem with using the darkling as this character is that he is very much a fantasy character and the abuse he inflicts on Alina is often fantasy in nature such as a magic collar, or using shadow monsters and a magic shadow fold to threaten the ones she loves. The problem with that is when I think fantasy it takes me further from reality then say a character who is human and inflicts abuse that can and often does happen in reality. Not sure if I am explaining myself properly here but I guess what I mean is that a man is never going to force a magical collar around a woman's neck in real life but a man could beat or force himself on a woman in real life which is why I think the very human non-fantasy/supernatural character of the king or prince would have served better as the villain of that cautionary tale.

I also find it kind of funny when you have antis who in some kind of faux concern for the young readers talk about what if these young girls think this kind of relationship is ok and how they used to find so and so villain hot and sexy when they were a teenager and wish they could meet a guy like that but then they grew out of it and realised that a relationship like that is wrong. Which, exactly, you grew out of it. What on earth makes them think these other young girls won't grow out of it? As a teen we often are drawn to things that as an adult we no longer find attractive, its part of growing up. Also I feel like by the time you are at an age where you are seeking those kinds of relationships you are also at an age where you understand the difference between reality and fiction. Fiction is a way to safely explore forbidden desires or explore darker parts of human nature. Just because someone finds the darkling interesting or attractive does not mean that is something they condone or seek in real life. Your fictional preferences don't reflect your real life morals and I don't understand why there is this sudden morality policing going on in fiction/ fandom where if a character is even slightly problematic then anyone who likes that character is automatically the spawn of satan.

Anyway went on a slight tangent then. But I personally just don't think the cautionary tale was a necessary one and it was not one that I found interesting at all, especially when the backdrop for the tale has an even more important story to tell about the prosecution of minorities. I am much more interested in that story than one where they are warning me about something that I am already painfully aware of. I also, as I mentioned before, don't like the way the story was dealt with. I feel like Alina was very much shamed by the narrative for falling for the darkling and she's painted as being this stupid girl who fell for his manipulations and should have known better. I also feel like some people in the fandom treat darkling fans the same way, like they are just dumb hormonal girls which you know is really sexist and misogynistic. Also sometimes it doesn't matter how forewarned you are about attractive charismatic men you can still fall for them. That doesn't make it your fault or make you weak. You can come out of one abusive relationship and then end up falling into another and again its not your fault. I personally think we need to stop telling women that they should know better, its not as black and white as that. If a man manipulates and abuses a woman then the blame falls entirely on that man, not on his victim.

I understand that the story was personal to LB as she said in an interview that she wrote the trilogy when she had just come out of an abusive relationship and I have alot of sympathy for her, no one should have to go through that. And look I am no psychologist or expert but I do think you can see echoes of this throughout her work. I mean none of the relationships are healthy, they all have problematic elements in them and alot of them include the males trying to control their female partners in some way. Also there's the habit of quite a few of the female characters being made victims of men, Alina, Genya, Nina, you could even argue Baghra. They all are punished or used by men in various ways.

So I am not sure I really answered your question and instead kind of went on a bit of a rant but in my opinion the reason why the darkling wasn't written as a villain from the start who just took Alina captive and forced the collar on her without messing around with seducing her (if you could really call what happened in the books a seduction) is because it didn't fit what LB wanted for her narrative. She wanted this character who was a charming, charismatic manipulator to serve as a cautionary tale of how older men misuse their power to deceive younger women.

#darklina #the darkling #anti leigh bardugo #answered #tw abuse

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yazthebookish · 3 years

Text

Gwyn's arc being set up in ACOSF:

• This whole place was utterly silent. The only bit of color and sound came from Gwyn. Would she remain here, locked beneath the earth, for the rest of her immortal life?

• “Nesta arched a brow at the book. “What’s Merrill researching, anyway?” Gwyn frowned. “Lots of things. Merrill’s brilliant. Horrible, but brilliant. When she first came here, she was obsessed with theories regarding the existence of different realms—different worlds. Living on top of each other without even knowing it. Whether there is merely one existence, our existence, or if it might be possible for worlds to overlap, occupying the same space but separated by time and a whole bunch of other things I can’t even begin to explain to you because I barely understand them myself.” Nesta’s brows rose. “Really?” “Some philosophers believe there are eleven worlds like that. And some believe there are as many as twenty-six, the last one being Time itself, which …” Gwyn’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Honestly, I looked at some of her early research and my eyes bled just reading her theorizing and formulas.”

• Gwyn waved a hand. “Finding objects to help our court protect the world is rather exciting. About as exciting as I’m willing to get these days, but it shall be an adventure.”

• “My grandmother was a river-nymph who seduced a High Fae male from the Autumn Court.-- My mother was unwanted by either of their people. She could not dwell in the rivers of the Spring Court, but was too untamed to endure the confinement of the forest house of Autumn. So she was given in her childhood to the temple at Sangravah, where she was raised. She partook in the Great Rite when she was of age, and I, we—my sister and I, I mean—were the result of that sacred union with a male stranger. She never found out who he was, for the magic chose him that night, and no one ever showed up to ask about twin girls. We were raised in the temple as well. I never left its grounds until … until I came here.”

• Gwyn sported a broad-brimmed hat fit for any fine lady, perched at a rakish angle on her head. A lace parasol leaned against her other shoulder, and she twirled it idly as she surveyed the windows, the world beyond, and said in a hushed voice, “I sometimes wonder if I shall ever have the courage to go out there again. I fear every day that I won’t.”

• “Gwyn said, “I wish I could just have one more moment with her. Just one, to tell her that I love her and say good-bye.”

• I couldn’t … I couldn’t bear to be at the temple, with the others. To see Catrin’s grave and know I failed her, to see that kitchen every day for the rest of my life.

• But even training these months hasn’t erased the fact that I let my sister die. You asked me once why I don’t wear the hood or the Invoking Stone. That stone is a sign of holiness. How can someone like me wear it?”

• “You’re the one who’s been in a library for two years,” Emerie said. Gwyn didn’t flinch. “I have. And I am tired of it.” She surveyed the blood-soaked leather along her thigh. “I don’t want to take the safe road.” She pointed to the mountain, to the slender path upward. “I want to take that road.”

• So they would keep training, until they were all well and truly Valkyries. Gwyn, despite the Rite, had returned to living in the library.

If this is not a clear set up then I don't know what is.

#acosf #acosf spoilers #gwyneth berdara #gwynriel #*side character* they say

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holylulusworld · 3 years

Text

Paid

Request: Have you ever considered writing a mafia!reader x Dean? like maybe he need more money to help Sam in school but what he earn isn't enough so he start to hustle at pool but then he plays one of her men and when they took him to her, she doesn't punish him because she remember he and Sam were the only one not afraid to be her friends in school. She gives him one of her clean activity so he can help Sam and stay safe. I think it would be an interesting scenario to see

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Mobster!Reader; Sam Winchester x Ruby ‘the dame’ Demon

Characters: Bobby Singer

Warnings: angst, language, mobster business, fluff, implied smut, secret relationship, I mention the word sex slave (in a funny conversation)

A/N: Please excuse the awful mobster nicknames. 😉; Gabriel and Gadreel are brothers for my story. (Please consider their surname, just like Ruby’s as a joke)

Part 3/3 - Catch up here:

Part 1 - Debts

Part 2 - Interest

Divider by @firefly-graphics

“Fuck,” someone growls next to your room, moaning audibly. The female seems to enjoy herself and you wonder if Dean had the guts to bring a random girl into your house. It’s not as if you are in a relationship but you will not tolerate he disrespects you. “Harder,” the woman now orders, and you switch the light on.

Angrily clenching your jaw, you get out of your bed to storm toward your door, muttering under your breath.

“I will kill him,” ripping your door open you walk toward the room you offered to Dean only to bump into your mechanic, sleepily rubbing his eyes.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, pointing toward the room his baby brother inherits during the Christmas holiday. “I told Sammy to not bring any girl here.”

“Ah, yeah,” you huff, relieved it wasn’t Dean who brought a girl to your home. “Uh-while we are awake at 3 am how about we get a snack?” you offer, giggling as Dean’s eyes drift toward your chest. “We still got some pie left.”

“I always liked Garfield,” humming to himself, his eyes still glued to the shirt you are wearing, he licks his lips. “Do you have matching shorts too?”

“Careful, Winchester,” sliding your hand into his large palm you lead Dean down the stairs. “I can still not share the pie with you.”

“Did I mention I’m sorry Sammy brought a random chick to your home? He’s young, just broke up with his girlfriend or she with him,” scratching his scruffy chin Dean shrugs. “Young love – huh?”

“Ya know, when I was young, like Sam-,” you giggle, acting as if you are elder than you are. “Back then, things were easier.”

“I remember clearly,” Dean nods, huffing as the door to the kitchen flings open.

Sam steps inside, grinning cheekily, followed by the girl he brought home.

“RUBY?” gasping you watch Ruby smirk when she leads her lover inside your kitchen. “What did I tell you about seducing Dean’s brother?” you scold, laughing as your friend shrugs, a dirty grin on her lips.

“Look at him,” she swoons, sliding her hand over Sam’s chest, making the tall man shiver at her touch. “He’s so tall and handsome. I can climb up at him and he, well he can manhandle me the way he wants to,” she turns her head toward you, giving you a wink, “and I let him, Y/N. Thrice…”

“I think I just lost my appetite,” choking on his pie Dean shudders. “Sammy, you are here for Holidays, not to break more hearts.”

“She jumped at me, Dean,” Sam defends, mirroring your friend's grin. “Ruby is a bad girl, so demanding and tiny.” now you shudder as Sam looks down at Ruby, shamelessly roaming her body with his eyes.

“I warned you, Y/N. You knew when Dean brings his brother in my territory there is a high risk I’ll just snatch him out of his hands and do dirty things with him,” Ruby coos. “Look at him. His girlfriend broke his heart, and he needs someone to help him ease the pain.”

“They are shameless,” muttering Dean whispers in your ear. “How about we eat the pie in my room and plan how to survive seeing my brother half-naked with your friend.”

“Deal-“

“Christmas is close, and you are a free man now,” humming Dean closes the trunk of the last car he repaired while still in your debts. ”Just saying boy, it’s not too late to run. I don’t want to lose the best mechanic I ever had, but Y/N’s kind of business is not for you.”

“I signed a contract and-“ watching you walk toward him Dean smiles, sighing dreamily as you are wearing a red plaid, matching his. He gave it to you to thank you for your kindness, hoping you’ll like it.

“Nice new shirt, kiddo,” Bobby watches you and Dean warily. “Ah balls, kids,” lifting his cap Bobby mutters under his breath. “Does anyone know yet?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” swallowing thickly Dean looks at Bobby, feeling his cheeks heat up. “Let’s have lunch and talk about Holidays or something.”

“You are wearing matching clothes. The hickey on your neck tells me someone gave you a bit too much attention and,” Bobby laughs when you poorly try to hide the grin on your lips, “my kiddo looks like a love-sick teen next to you.”

“Bobby, don’t tell anyone,” you whisper, looking over your shoulder, not missing Gadreel and Benny watch your every step. “Gadreel still doesn’t like Dean and I want to make sure he’s safe.”

“Sooner or later people will find out you are dating your mechanic, Y/N. I can protect him while he’s at work, but not all the time. If you want this man,” huffing Bobby looks at Dean, before he pinches the bridge of his nose, “you must clarify he’s yours. Like your father would’ve done.”

“I’m not my father,” you quip. “I told you that I’ll not claim someone to make sure he’s-“

“Kiddo, if you clarify Dean is yours, everyone will stay the fuck away from your man. No one will dare to touch a hair on his head, you know it.”

“But-“ sputtering the word you nod, looking at the man right in front of you, wearing a matching plaid. “You are right, Bobby. If I want Dean to be safe, I’ll have to make my claim on him known.”

“Claim?” cocking his head Dean laughs nervously. “Will you just ‘take me’ right in front of the people? How does this work?”

“I will declare you are my man, parade around town with you. We need to be seen and my men will spread the word. I would’ve asked Ruby for help but she’s busy screwing your brother’s brain out,” your face stoic you try to explain the consequences of your relationship to Dean.

“Don’t mention Ruby and Sammy-“ shuddering Dean looks at you, frowning as he can see a single tear run down your cheek. “What’s wrong? I’m up to this whole claiming thing, promised. I got no problem if anyone knows we are a pair.”

“Dean, you’ve got no clue what this means to you and your life. Everyone will know you are mine-“ sniffling you hate you are not a normal woman, living a normal life. “This would ruin you and your reputation. Not to mention it would effect Sam’s life too.”

“Yeah-and?” cocking a brow Dean looks at you. “Sammy is a grown man and he just started to have an affair with one of your most trusted people.”

“When she says you are hers, Y/N means it. All the people in town, everyone you have ever known will hear that you are in her debts and that’s the reason she made you her lover,” Bobby tries to reason with Dean, failing miserably.”

“Like a sex slave?” a dirty grin on his lips Dean looks at you. “Right? They will think you forced me into your bed to pay my debts. Uh-dirty. Do you want me to have your name on my ass or shoulder?”

“Dean, this isn’t funny,” stepping closer you cup Dean’s cheek, softly pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth. “I want you to have a good and fulfilled life. With me, you’ll never be free.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be free, not if it means living without you, sweetheart,” Dean presses his lips to yours, swallows all your protests. “I don’t care how – as long as we can be together.”

“We are going to marry,” Ruby exclaims, snickering when Dean’s mouth falls open. “Sam wants to be my husband sooner than later.”

“Ruby, stop giving my boyfriend a heart attack. It’s Christmas and not nice of you to do so,” you scold. “I hope you used condoms, kids. We don’t want little Ruby’s run around the house.”

“Aw, we wanted to have three or four kids,” laughing at Dean’s pained expression Ruby sits next to Sam, grinning widely. “I was just joking. I can assure you we acted like responsible young people.”

“Why is she here during Christmas again?” Dean whispers in your ear.

“Just like me, Ruby got no family left. All of her friends work for me and are with their families over Christmas, well except for the ones protecting us. But they work in shifts, so everyone has a day off for Christmas.”

“You’re a good boss,” Sam looks around the large living room, admiring the Christmas tree you chose this year. “Dad never got a Christmas tree.”

“I do it every year. It’s the only good thing I remember when I think about my father. He got the prettiest tree for my mom and me before he decided to file for divorce and sent us away,” you sniff, holding Dean’s gaze.

“Dad was a hard man, but I try to remember the good things, not his bad habits,” Dean mumbles. “I understand very well how you feel, Y/N.”

“That’s nice,” humming silently you watch the fire die in the fireplace in your bedroom. “I could get used to having you in my arms for the rest of my life, Y/N.” Dean tries, carefully bringing your relationship up again.

“Dean, we’ve talked about this. If we make it official, there is no turning back. The moment you break up with me or leave me for someone else, you are fair game. This is nothing I want for you,” sniffling you hide your face in Dean’s neck, wetting his skin with your tears.

“Sweetheart, I don’t want someone else or to leave. My mom used to say that when you find the right person, your person,” pecking your hair Dean sighs deeply, “you feel like you belong, you feel like coming home.”

“Coming home,” lifting your head to meet Dean’s eyes you fight to blink the tears away. “Makes sense, I guess.”

“I feel like that around you, Y/N. Whenever you are with me, it feels like home. I don’t care if anyone believes I owe you shit. All I want is to be with you, no matter what.”

“You sure, Dean?”

“Damn sure,” smiling you hold Dean’s gaze. “I don’t want to leave or find someone else. Please don’t shut me out, baby girl.”

“You feel like home to me too,” kissing him softly you smile against Dean’s lips. “Good thing you paid your debts, or your ass would be all mine-“

“I’m all yours, Y/N. Every part of me…”

SPN Forever Tags

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--------------------------------------

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags

@spnfamily-j2

@supernatural-bellawinchester

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#Paid #dean winchester #mechanic!dean winchester #mechanic!dean x Reader #mechanic au #mechanic dean winchester #mobster!reader #mechanic!dean x mobster!reader #angst #fluff #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction #sam x ruby

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disasterofastory · 3 years

Text

Christian Girl Part 2 (Halfdan x Reader)

Christian Girl Part 2 Warnings: mention of sex I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I hope you will like it. I want to write a part 3 when I will be brave enough to write smut, but we will see how it goes.

The gif is not mine

Your days changed a lot with Halfdan in your life. For example, your blood is always boiling in your veins. Sometimes it’s because of anger, sometimes because of embarrassment, but it doesn’t matter really. Your skin is always hot when he is with you, and you can’t do anything against it. And you need to go to church more frequently. However, it’s doesn’t help you either. You can’t speak about your thoughts and desires. You can’t trust anyone with your feelings for the blonde Viking. You try to talk to God uselessly. He doesn’t answer. You are almost sure he doesn’t care for you anymore because of your sinful soul. And… you don’t feel bad because of it.

You knock on Halfdan’s door before you enter with a tray in your arms. He is still in bed when you go to the small table to put down his breakfast. He prefers to spend the morning hours in his room without the others. He can be brutish after he wakes up, and he thinks it safer if the other Christians don’t hear his words. He never hurts you in any way, so you mostly just smile at his antics. Probably this is one of the reasons why God doesn’t care for you anymore. “Y/N… I don’t know what I will do without you in the mornings when we go back home,” he says sleepily. His voice is still deep, and his movements are slow when he starts to get up. It’s a sensitive topic for you. You just smile, but deep down, you are terrified of the day when he has to go back to his world. “You will probably survive,” you joke, but you really don’t want to think about it. The sun is slowly rising behind the forest while Halfdan stands next to you just in trousers. His body is lean and tattooed. There are some scars on his pale skin from his previous battles. “I’m getting more and more unsure about it,” he winks at you, sitting down. While he eats, you make his bed and put his clothes in a basket to wash it later. “Sit down,” he asks you after a while. You do as you are told, but when he offers you some food you try to decline it. “Eat, Y/N, we will have a long day. I want to go to the forest, and I want you to accompany me.” You give in and grab some grapes. “What do you want to do?” “Just walking, if I have to spend more time in this damn castle, I will go crazy,” he answers. You know it’s a hard time for him. He likes to travel and get to know new places, and now he can’t do that. Everybody expects him to behave to don’t get in trouble. “I asked Torvi for some clothes for you. Your dresses don’t exactly good for the woods,” he says, nodding to one of the chairs with clothes on it. “Oh, thank you,” you say, standing up. “I will go to change.” “You need help?” He asks with a cheeky grin. “The pants can be tricky if you always wear skirts.” “I think I will manage,” you answer with a blushing face and shy smile. “If you change your mind, just scream my name,” he yells after you before you close the door. Yeah, you will really miss him.

You know it’s not your greatest idea to go to the forest with a Viking, but you want to. He always tries to embarrass you, but nothing more. He never yelled at you or talked rudely with you. Despite his games, he is more gentleman with you than any man you know. And you learned to enjoy his playful comments. After you change, you go to the kitchen to pack some things for today, then you go back to Halfdan’s room who is already dressed and ready to go. The way to the forest is really interesting. People stare at you two and start to whisper to each other. The anger and fear mix in their eyes while others glance at you with pity. Halfdan seems to enjoy the situation. He doesn’t hide the fact he despises them but doesn’t do anything to start a fight. He steps closer to you while you continue walking. “What will they think of you if they see you with me?” He asks quietly. “Probably nothing. They think I have no choice,” you answer. “But you don’t,” he smirks. You are relieved when you reach the forest and disappear from sight. You don’t like the feeling when you hear people talk about the tattooed man next to you. You don’t feel uncomfortable because they see you with him, you feel anger. You want to protect him, and it almost makes you laugh. “Can you hunt?” He asks you after a while when you reach deeper into the woods. “No,” you answer, puzzled. Why would you? The only reason they taught you how to use knives because of cooking. “I will teach you,” he replies. “If we can kill something, we can cook it for lunch, and I can teach you how to make fire without help, and if we have time, I will even show you how to protect yourself.” “But… why?” You ask, still confused. “To spend the day with something,” he answers briefly. You know it isn’t the whole truth, but you let him lead you. You enjoy your day together. It’s much more tiring than a normal day in the castle, but you like it. He laughs at you a lot but teaches you more. “When will we go back?” You ask him when the sun starts to go down. “We won’t,” he answers. “And now make fire, I showed you how to do it.” “W-wait, what?” You ask him in disbelief. “Don’t worry, nobody will miss you.” “Well... thanks,” you snort, and he laughs. “I didn’t mean it like that. I told Bjorn, we will go back tomorrow.” After his words, you are still a little bit afraid, and he sees it. “I said, don’t worry, I won’t hurt you and won’t do anything you don’t want,” he winks at you at the end. “But why do you want to stay here?” You ask him, but don’t argue with him anymore. You start to help him prepare the few rabbits while he answers. “It’s calmer out there, and you said you want to see the word, well… it’s a part of it.” After you eat, you go to the nearby river to wash your face. When you get back to Halfdan, he is sitting next to the fire with a flask in his hand. “Come, sit next to me,” he pats the ground next to him, and when you sit down, he starts to question you about today. At first, you are surprised, but you tell him everything he told you today. After every good answer, he gives you his flask. In the end, you feel a little bit tipsy and hot next to the fire with the alcohol in your body. While you sit in the sunset with him, he tells you about his journeys, battles, and his brother. “Why did you choose Bjorn when Harald is your brother?” You ask him. “Bjorn showed me that life is more than fighting for lands. I love my brother, and I did everything to help him, but I’m tired of it. I have my own dreams and goals.” “And what are your dreams?” You ask, drinking one more sip before you give him back the wine. His eyes start to shine looking at you, and you know you will regret your question the minute he opens his mouth. “You are too innocent for it,” he teases. “I’m not!” You argue, but both of you know you are lying. “I-I had sex before, you know?” “Oh, really?” He laughs. “With who? I thought it’s forbidden in your religion.” “Well… it is,” you nod. “And my religion forbids me to spend time with pagans too. But here I am!” “Here you are,” he says quietly with a soft smile. You feel your face getting hotter than ever because of his brown eyes. “So… tell me, who is the lucky man who you had sex with?” He asks again. “It was one of the cooks,” you answer. It was a one-time thing, you don’t even remember his name. “And how was it?” He asks with a sip from the flask. He really enjoys your embarrassment when you don’t answer immediately. “It’s not appropriate to talk about this matter.” “Of course not, Christian girl,” he smirks. “Come to sleep, we will have a long day tomorrow.” “How will we sleep?” You ask him, watching him lay down some furs on the ground. “Well, first you will close your eyes, and me…” he teases you. “Halfdan!” “We will sleep next to each other if we don’t want to freeze. I won’t touch you, what more if you want to have sex with me, you have to seduce me.” You know he teases you, but you know he tells you the truth. So you lay next to him. You are warm because of the fire and the furs, and you feel Halfdan’s body next to yours. Your arm almost touches his, and you want to get closer. You try to look at him out of the corner of your eye, but you don’t have time for it. He reaches out of you and pulls you on his chest. You know you should protest, but the truth is, you don’t want to. It feels good. “You could tell me about you and the cook… you know… for a bedtime story.” You don’t see him, but you know he smirks. “If everything I heard about Vikings is true, you wouldn’t enjoy it,” you answer him, and he laughs at your words. After a few minutes of silence, you ask him. “Halfdan?” “Hmm?” “Why do you bring me with you? And why do you teach me how to survive in the wild?” You know he wasn’t entirely honest with you, but you hope this time he will tell you the real reason. “The day will come when we have to fight with Ivar’s army or against your people. Who knows?” he starts after a few moments. His arm draws you more closely, you feel his breath on your hair. “I want you to save yourself. When the battle starts, I want you to come to the forest and be safe. I will come for you, and we will see the world together.” “You really mean it?” You ask him, surprised. You are sure about your feeling for the blonde man, but you don’t know about Halfdan’s. Of course, he is nice to you even if he is a little bit savage at times and flirts with you, but you always thought he is bored. You are just a plaything for him to spend his days with. “Yes,” he answers briefly. And he means it. He really likes you. You are easy to read. He doesn’t have to guess how do you feel or what do you want. Your every thought is on your face, and you are not afraid to use your voice. He wants a woman who doesn’t want to play games. He doesn’t have to think of strategies when he is with you. He can imagine a life with you.

#halfdan x reader #halfdan the black x reader #halfdan imagine #vikings x reader #vikings imagine #reader

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bakugousbabygirl · 4 years

Text

Toxic Aizawa Headcannons

genre: angst i guess?

pairings: aizawa x fem!reader

cw: || cheating || jealousy || cursing || manipulation || overall toxicity ||

A/N: this is kinda short, but i might do more of these and make them longer and add scenarios at the end. idk

SFW

• he's a scorpio.....that shit is toxic enough on it's own lmao

• but fr everyone seems to have this image he's a patient caring man and i mean he is, with his students

• but you? no

• you're an adult, you should just GET things but you don't which frustrates him beyond belief

• you're his partner, not his student he shouldnt have to baby you

• i also feel like aizawa has a thing for younger women, he's 31 and he likes his women in their early to mid 20's

• i feel like that isn't inherently toxic but the way he uses your younger age against you most definitely is

• when you get in an argument he throws it in you face calling you childish and stating how he should've just dated someone his own damn age

• shota definitely prioritizes his job over you, will stay out late at night patrolling. he will stand you up on dates to go to hero meeting and even be gone for weeks on missions without contacting you

• luckily toshinori and hizashi are nice men knowing how their colleague and friend is so they send you updates about him to keep your mind at ease

• this causes a lot of fights. he questions you on why you're talking to his friends, he wants you to stay out of his personal life. you try to rationalize with him that you are apart of his personal life and needs to start acting like it. if he's gonna be gone for long you tell him the least he could do is give you a heads up

• he argues back that you should just KNOW if he hasn't shown up he's gone for hero work and should be content with that. he tells you that you KNOW what you were signing up for when you started dating so why are you trippin now.

• he never yells but his tone becomes really harsh and his words cut like blades tearing you apart cutting you down until you feel so belittled that your argument isnt worth it anymore making you grow quiet

• he'll glare at you and make a few snide remarks before leaving like a upset father after scolding his daughter

• definitely avoids you afterwards, i mean he doesnt come home for a solid 2 weeks after and you dont get any updates from hizashi and toshinori because he told them to but out of his business

• when he comes back he pretends as if nothing ever happened, he already said what he had to say. why rehash it? and if you're really still hurt it's just gonna reinforce the fact he thinks you're childish and thinks he should've dated someone his own age

• speaking of people your own age if he catches you texting or hanging out with a guy your age he's gonna be pissed

• "what am i not good enough for you, you think i'm too old or something!?"

• like no bruh we were just having a friendly conversation what's your deal, PLEASE get over whatever complex you have dude

• I feel like aizawa would definitely judge the way you dress lmao

• with alternative fashion coming back in style you have a stab at it and start dressing like an e-girl because it's the easiest look to manage

• aizawa laughs his ass off at you saying how that isn't true alternative fashion and calls you a poser

• yeah yeah aizawa is a fuckin gate keeper, you can't tell me he wasn't emo back in the day

• tells you to change and never dress up like that again because it makes you look like some cheap cam girl

• if you ever try to walk away when hes scolding you he will use his scarf to tie you up making you sit down and admit you're wrong

• he's the type to stress that communication is key but doesn't communicate himself

• its more like he talks and you listen if you haven't gotten that by now

• he refuses to open up to you and keeps you 100% separated from his work and personal life

• probably makes fun of your trauma, nothing too fucked up like if your parents are dead or anything. hes not that much of a douche, but if its something like your sister use to lock you in the dark cold cellar at night and told you a monster was gonna get you he'd definitely laugh

• would even go as far as locking you in the basement closet to see how you'd react

• also gaslight you using your age against you saying how he knows more because he's older

NSFW

• wanna start this off by saying aizawa is defo cheating on you with midnight lmao take that how you want but he is

• when you catch him he just says it's not that serious and it just happened because they have history together and shes more mature and experienced. he said it wont happen again so why cant you get over it, stop being so childish

• i have a feeling he'd probably complain about how annoying you are to her during pillow talk 😹😹

• he's the type to keep a straight face when you're giving him sloppy toppy to give the illusion that you're underperforming and can't satisfy him but in reality his toes are curling and he's doing his best to hold back his moans because your head game is out of this world

• definitely is the dominant one and he'd laugh in your face at even the slightest mention of you taking over ( he does let midnight dom him tho😒)

• it was this one time where you asked could you ride him so he allowed it, you got on top of him and just when you were getting into the groove of it he rolled his eyes flipped you over and growled in your ear saying to never waste his time like that again

• when you try to initiate sex with him laughs at your cute efforts of trying to seduce him saying he's too old for that stuff to be appealing to him

• he'd use sex to take out all his frustrations on you

• it seems hot but not the way he does it, he'll have you in his lap infront of a mirror as he pounds into you while degrading you

• it starts off cute and light with just calling you things like his pathetic kitten but then the insults start getting a little too real saying how he could go find a better girl with a cunt just as tight as yours who doesn't annoy him and how you're such a bitch and you can't nag at him now that you're stuffed with his cock

• yeah needless to say you start crying and hit his ass with the safe word making him stop and he just rolls his eyes and mutters to himself about how the younger generation is so sensitive and kinda just....leaves you there to mope

• also yeah theres never any aftercare even after particularly rough scenes like that he just showers then goes to bed and expects you to do the same

• and it's not like he doesn't know with aftercare is, i mean he's banging midnight our bdsm queen he knows what aftercare is but just doesn't see you as important enough to be that intimate with

• if you do something that turns him off during the middle of sex and kinda just pushes you off of him and goes to sleep on the couch and won't have sex with you for a while

• drags himself at all types of late nights and early mornings crawling into bed with you whole you're still sleep and kisses you're shoulder saying to himself outloud "i'll do right by you one day"

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