you guys probably don’t care but i just need to like. rant for a minute because i’m so bewildered rn

i love silly little psychology stuff so i went onto personality database today to see if salad fingers was on it, and he is

which i agree with this, he’s totally an INFP!! but then i scrolled down and people are assigning personality types to the other characters???

IT’S SO CONFUSING HOW ARE PEOPLE COMING TO THESE CONCLUSIONS

they barely have any development or personality at all 😭😭😭 what are u doing… also they spelled mable wrong i am very upset at this information!! this isn’t gravity falls smh

most, if not all of these have like 0 comments explaining why they chose that type and it’s driving me insane

i’m most curious about the puppets though, especially hubert, since there’s quite a bit of votes on his profile. where are these people getting ENTP 9w1 from,, the only thing this guy does is scream, cry, and piss salad fingers off every so often (hubert is basically a newborn baby lmfaoo). if anything i think he’d be like. an IxFx type. but that’s just going off of how sal seems to percieve hubert. idfk how people are coming up with the types for jeremy and marjory

anyway i know you guys are most likely not into this like i am, sorry for the infodump. but. this kind of stuff irks me. i like things to be accurate (even though MBTI is pseudoscience like astrology. yes i admit it. but if the astrology girls can make weird ass claims so can i)!! though it’s interesting to see how people interpret the characters. also according to people on personality database jerry jackson is an ENFP 7w8?? i guess i can see it??

also.. this is 99% likely to be false (you can’t really get into a real person’s head like you can with a fictional character) but it’s funny to me to think that david and i share the same exact personality type. we are twinsies fr fr !!

OH AND ALSO THIS COMMENT UNDER SALAD FINGERS’ PROFILE.. WHAT

(sorry abt the wording of this, im not very good at english- also if u dont like being complimented dont read) heyyyy!!i've been scrolling through your blog and honestly, you just seem like a super cool person. i know that it's probably strange to judge someone off their online persona, but honestly you seem so lovely. you have many admirable features, your taste in books, and music, and honestly just your overall aesthetic. i really admire you as a person and see you as a cool and fun person!! x

and heres a message for u if u need it. ani, you are a wonderful and beautiful soul. i won't go into all the "it gets better" stuff, because who believes that? but i just want you to know that i'm always here. talking to people is hard, but you truly deserve the world. if i love the person you are when i only see a bit of you, i know that all of you is the most amazing thing. i love you so much, and i hope you, one day can see the amazing person in yourself that i see in you. <333

omg omg i read this ages ago idk why i didn’t respond right away!!

hiiii!!

this is so thoughtful, thank you anon! i really appreciate long asks like these because it gives me a moment to breathe whilst im reading🤍

i love you so much!! i hope you can interact with this post so we can become moots!? you are so amazing and thank you so much for taking your time to write this out for me! i really don’t know what to say lolll

i love and appreciate you so muchhh🤍💫

SELF-INTRODUCTION POST

Hello helloooo hello heeeellooo!!!! It’s been…five or six months since I started posting here and I’ve just realized that people know literally NOTHING about me. Sooo made a little intro just to make things clear

My irl name’s Camilla, but you can call me Pamilla or Cavilion! I’m more used to Pamilla, but it’s okay if you’ll give me another nickname, I like them.

I’m from Russia, but please please please consider that I’m not Russian!!! this country is very multicultural!!! I can speak English, Russian et en peu de français (mais ce n’est pas ma langue préférée, je fais beaucoup des fautes, haha)

fandoms I’m in rn: slashers, Black Christmas 1974, DoL, Clockwork Orange and serial experiments Lain.

Actually I just like brainrotting here about the things I like. Thankfully tumblr allows me to do that and people are really nice here!!!

I love drawing, but I don’t post much of it cuz I have an artblock right now and my studies don’t let me draw a lot (😕) I have never talked about it before, but the biggest part of my life is the Internet. I’m literally an internet girlie(*´꒳`*) I had access to it since childhood and…uh…Well, the consequences are the fact that I’ve grown into a person who’s REALLY into horrors, horror stories, games, films etc. I’m also very dreamy, fake scenarios are my life. I love making new friends or just talking about things so please PLEASE don’t be afraid to dm me♡ Oh yeah and just a reminder that English is not my native language and if I make some mistakes or say something that is hard to understand/strange, feel free to correct or ask me to explain what I meant:)

she/her by the way, sorry I forgot about that

I’m a real chill and I don’t really care about things too much, but if you’re a person who hates someone because of their race, nationality, culture, if you harm animals, if you consider it’s okay to bully little kids or you tolerate all the mentioned things, please, do NOT interact with me.

Oh yeah please consider that even if my “dni” (or as I like to call it “kys”) list doesn’t contain basic dni, it DOESN’T mean that I support everyone else. My blog is not a safe place for all the -phobes and -philes, if your actions are not approved by society, it’s more likely not to be approved by me either. You may follow me and like my posts, but don’t be surprised if I block you or if one day I’ll make fun of your community or even YOU if you directly spread yo shit over my page lol

YEAH so I’d also like to introduce you my sona (or persona or internetsona idk)

HER NAME’S PAMILLA and she’s literally me, but as an internet physical form. She’s like a metaphor of what I am and how I behave in the internet, cuz you know, people online differ from people irl haha. Here are some photos of her and some funny pictures I found while searching for her photos. Hope y’all enjoy!!!1!

I’ll probably edit this post later. I definitely forgot to add some important things so uhhh this is not the final result!!! See ya soon

Maybe it’s a bipolar thing or maybe it’s a aromantic thing or a trauma thing but the thought of being perceived romantically makes me physically ill and upset to the point of anger every time without fail. Flirting is fine if I know you just be clear that it’s platonic and will only ever be viewed as platonic in my eyes and I might not always be in the mood to flirt back. I’m also fine talking about nsfw topics because I just find them interesting but I have no sexual desires for other people whatsoever. (Objects and fictional characters are another story)

I wish there was like npc mechanics where I’m undatable and there are no mods that can “fix” this. Also wish people wouldn’t get crushes on me but I can’t really change the way people feel I can just like cope ig. Not vauging just something that’s been on my mind again, also remembering an unpleasant encounter with a fan of my work thinking that liking my art (but hardly knowing me) was justifiable enough info to develop and confess an undying crush on me. Idk it just reads as you don’t actually care about me as a person and something is appealing about me either with what I can do for you (art wise or god forbid, sexualy) and what you imagine I’m like (not real, not actual me) or even worse, you’re a chaser and just think it’s hot that I’m trans??? my online persona is a lot different than the real me FYI. This is a small lense into my life and I don’t think anyone can actually form a decent idea of romantic compatibility from online interactions alone (LONG DISTANCE AND E-DATING ARE VERY DIFFERENT) I don’t believe in e-dating and if you can’t meet up before dating eachother I don’t think you should date online, you don’t actually know the person and can’t get a good look at how they actually are irl and you don’t wanna be a year or two into dating someone and find out you’re absolutely incompatible with them irl or worse they are horribly abusive irl. I feel like I’m gonna get a lot of hate for this but that used to be my only form of dating and it quite literally ruined a good chunk of my teenhood and my early adulthood and I just don’t see the appeal of it anymore and every time I see it in the wild it’s 9/10 the most toxic two individuals who should not be in a relationship with each other at all (or worse, a very passive individual with the most toxic grading and blatantly abusive person I’ve ever witnessed) and I just gotta gawk at it like how… how do you think this is love or enjoyable at all?

Also don’t look at me, this is romantic advice for someone completely repulsed by the idea of dating so take it with a gigantic grain of salt. I don’t judge anyone who is e-dating I genuinely don’t care. If you can make this work in a healthy way I’m happy for you! But I don’t think a majority of people are mature or mentally stable enough to actually make it work without devolving into codependency with a fucking screen.

If your partner on your screen can make you cry you should break up with them they don’t get better irl in fact it will most likely be worse.

Tag game to better know you

Thanks for the tag @thetorontokid ❤️ This feels very aol 1998 and I love it!!

What book are you currently reading?

Nothing 🫣 I started Brotherhood and never finished it if that counts as “currently reading.” I will finish it when time allows!

What's your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

I don’t think I’ve been to the moves since TROS 😂

What do you usually wear?

LOTS of t-shirts of all different sizes depending on mood. And they’re worn with jeans, cargos, or skirts. Love a good kimono to dress it all up.

How tall are you?

5'4"

What's your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Scorpio ♏️ I have the same birthday as Ming-Na Wen! Which is fun, bc Star Wars, but also bc I was obsessed with Mulan when it came out and all through my teen years… so much so that I put a dragon on my class ring instead of the school mascot like a normal girl 😂

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

Nickname here (Barma) and a different nickname irl.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

I was supposed to be an unwed psychologist with 4 cats. None of those happened 😂 (I have always had strange ambitions 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

See above lol - Married! 💍

What's something you're good at vs. something you're bad at?

I’m good at putting myself in other people’s shoes. I can find sympathy for ANYONE even if popular opinion says it isn’t deserved. I’m always looking for the reasoning behind a person’s actions and am quick to defend.

I am very bad at taking criticism, so much so that I’ll avoid putting myself out there at the risk of negative feedback. I am a perfectionist, and I’m bad a failing! I’d rather not even try than run the risk of failure. This online persona has helped with that tho 😊 Barma is less afraid 💪

Dogs or cats?

See above lmao - Cats! 🐈

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what's your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

Idk if my writing counts since the chapters I’ve put out so far this year were originally written last year or the year before… so I’ll say my Valentines obikin photo session 😃

What's something you'd like to create content for?

I just want to keep doing the obikin thing, because it makes me happy. Fingers crossed for new story ideas after the current WIP wraps. 🤞

What's something you're currently obsessed with?

Well, it’s always going to be Star Wars, but specifically rn, I’m finding a renewed appreciation for Boga🦎 It’s a whole healing process thing.

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

2023 is still young! I am excited about May 4th this week, finishing my fic in July, and my road trip to get a tattoo to commemorate it. REALLY hoping none of those will be disappointing.

What's a hidden talent of yours?

Financial planning/advising. No, it’s not what I do for a living, but I’ve often helped friends, family, and even businesses with creating budgets, debt consolidation, and all that good stuff. Maybe it’s what I should be doing for a living, but that whole fear of failing thing 🤷🏻‍♀️

Are you religious?

I can’t not be. I’ve experienced way too much 🕊️

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

WELLNESS! I’ve been sick for over a week now.

I want to tag everyone! So if you see this, and want to do it, please do! But here’s a handful of friends bc I like to follow protocol 😂

@kana7o @unspuncreature @justaminion @wibzen87 @tunglo NO PRESSURE!

Hey angel! I got v interested in your persona chart reading your giving out! (I’ve never had a chart reading before so 😂😂) I wanted to mention the vibes I have gotten from you (which I’ve been following u for quite sometime when I had my old acc; hence why I felt confident to do so)

I think that your generally v intelligent especially during communication), as well as pretty or at the very least good looking. Idk why but I feel like you have a mischievous type of prettiness to you like lily rose depp either physically or personality wise (her knowing more than she leads on energy as well but acc smart) not saying she isn’t; idk her but I just get that you know quite a bit. I also do think you have a very posh femininity to you; something makes me think you don’t hesitate to be blunt and direct when you speak to someone (forward ness) unless you purposely choose what not to mention when you see it LOL so a direct sort of vibe too? Based on your master list I can tell have you have good aesthetic taste or an eye for it INRL your whole master list is v Venusian to me (I love it and like a lot of the PACs that you make/readings because of their visual appeal, so along with the “posh” vibes/energy I get I also feel like royal core/royal femininity to you. Not necessarily saying that’s what you physically do; I’m talking energy although maybe that could be the case case, I just think you are very feminine LOL there’s lots of types of feminine; but those are the ones I’d say,

Mercurial and Venusian energy

Gold/neutral/rich velvety idk why feels like fabrics or Color’s you’d like in rl

😉

Please don’t hesitate to tell me if Whatever I’m saying ain’t it LOL it’s genuinely the vibes I get from your acc (and the online you)

Hello love 😘 thank you so much for sending this , i feel so bad that I can't send you a reading coz it was for a day and you sent in the ask late so i already promised a reading to someone else who did really well, i hope in future you can get one from me 🥹

I'm a Gemini so intelligence is true, thank you for comparing me to lily , were both jupitarians Id say we match energies . About being blunt , I'm but not with everyone , I'm just really kind to people I love while others I just try to be , last time I was too straight forward i lost a friend . Thank you so much for complimenting my aesthetic and sorry I'm not a venusian 🥹. 😳My energy royalcore is a surprise to me , I'm working on my feminine energy;))

I do like these colours

Thank you so much 🥰 you did pretty good actually 🌸🍄

Gender in relation to internet presentation is such an interesting concept. Like this is nothing deep just my own personal experience but like.

For clarification, as stated in my pinned post, I accept any and all pronouns applied to me. However, I do have a pretty set and defined gender that is in the commonly assumed binary.

In person my gender is pretty damn obvious. The way I present myself, which does align pretty well with my gender, is very clear and very deeply rooted in what is established as what my gender should generally look like. I am no doubt the gender that I identify with and this leads to people using a specific set of pronouns with me in person which is fine and all but also.

In university I joined an esports club. I did not join this club by signing up at a club fair or anything. I joined simply by joining their discord from a random QR code on a poster and signing up to tryout for one of their teams.

My legal name is androgynous. It is not feminine or masculine. My gamer tag, the most common way anybody in that club refers to anyone else because 90% of the club members have no idea who each other is in person, is also not particularly indicative of any gender.

My team tryouts were streamed, though the casters, of course, were not in call with us. Multiple times they used the opposite set of pronouns than the ones most commonly used for me.

In other online spaces where people have not seen me and only have this little slime to go by, the pronouns get silly as people just sort of make assumptions and run with them because, well, I have no reason to correct them: there's nothing to correct. I'm just a little slime. Whatever you want to project onto the slime is up to you and I don’t really care.

And it's interesting, because this specific view of having experienced people looking at me ot whatever persona they have of me, and just picking a set of pronouns, has fundamentally changed how I view my gender and attempt to explain it.

Yes, I am my agab, but I am my agab in a way where it's like a set of clothes and I just don't really like the others. Like I could change out of it if I really wanted to but I like this one the most so I keep it. But behind it I'm just a little slime. And you can project whatever idea of a gender you think I am onto me and I'll just nod and move along because it's whatever. I'm a slime.

Like I'm still my agab and a person but man I am just a person, you know? I wouldn't call myself nonbinary because I do identify very heavily as my agab but also like. If that's not what you see I'm not bothered by it?

Idk. Gender is weird and it's pride month.

Happy pride <3

hi! I really love your work, and your writing. I know that this is not a request, I hope I can ask you this anyway. Could you give me some advices to start writing ffs and one-shots and to open a page here on Tumblr? I've always been into writing but I never felt very comfortable, but right now I'd like to open a page like yours and to start writing. Thank you sososo much and have a good day! I hope I didn't bother you too much <3

I think the most important thing I can tell you is to just start writing

which is probably either really obvious or completely useless. But don’t overthink it. A lot of times I don’t have fully fleshed out ideas but I just note down everything that comes to mind and I go back to it later.

Make sure you’re writing for yourself and not other people because that’s how you loose passion for writing quickly. I try to keep the mindset of this is for me, if other people like it then that’s just a bonus.

For starting a blog, I’d say pick a theme/ aesthetic! You don’t have to stick with it ofc but have one to start with. Go on Pinterest and make some boards of things you like and find the ones that look like they go together.

I wanted kind of an online persona? Not really a persona but idk what else to call it. I found pictures of people that looked a lot like me (that one I’ve got on my pinned post literally could be me, she looks so much like myself) I didn’t want to show my face but I wanted people to have some idea of what I looked like

For stuff like getting your work seen, hashtags are your friend. Use every one you can think of that relates to what you’re writing.

Interact with other writers! Make some friends and then their followers will see your content too! Don’t go harassing other people with the sole purpose of your own follower gain obviously. They’re a person. You’re a person. You have something in common. Talk about it.

Interact with your followers too! Keep your inbox open and reply to messages you get. I find that they also like random little posts I make about Stranger Things stuff and they come to my inbox to ask me to talk more about it:)

I hope some of this was helpful! Feel free to ask me more writing questions and I’ll do my best to answer them<3

Before y’all ask, YES I am working on Everything pt4.

However, I wanna rant real quick. TW for shitty ass feelings.

Idk if this is just me, but I have such a love hate relationship with the fact that I take meds for my depression and anxiety. On one hand it’s like “dude, you really need these meds. They help you. For fucks sake you’ve been hospitalized before”. On the other hand it’s like “why do you need meds to feel ok? Why can’t you just be normal? For fucks sake, you’ve been hospitalized before and kept bouncing between hospitals for over a year”. Surely this can’t just be me that’s felt this way right? I know I need these meds, but I hate that I need them. I went without meds for months and felt fine, but then the depression hit and I had to go on them again, so idk, I kinda feel like “damn. I’m never gonna be normal” and that’s so ass. And my shit is BAD. The persona I have online may seem very free and “I don’t give a fuck. Imma do me” but that is so not me irl. I’ve had to leave class because my panic attacks. School (before I went to an alternative school) was extremely difficult because so much of it was social work and for some reason my brain just shuts down. I’ll legitimately start shaking if I gotta talk to someone I don’t know. I get anxiety when I think about crossing the street. My brain is dumb as hell and I know this. And bitch the depression? Just take me out the game cause shit gets wild. I’ll neglect my responsibilities, my hygiene, I’ll just sleep all day so that I don’t have to think about how much I wanna control alt delete.

So believe me, I KNOW I need meds. I just hate that I can’t function like a normal person without meds. When it came to my ptsd, it got better. I can stay home alone, I don’t panic as much as I did when I hear cars passing, I can walk by myself without worrying about getting attacked, if my dad were to text me right now I’d be annoyed instead of scared, shit like that. It took like, 4 years but it got better. I don’t see me ever getting better when it comes to this and being what’s considered normal. Some days I’m ok with that. Some days I’m not.

And bitch while I’m typing, peep game. So my dad was abusive, hence the ptsd. Once I got away from him, I never spoke to him again as you can imagine (he kept harassing me through text but speeding past that-). But I never imagined that my dads side of the family would never speak to me again as well. And don’t get me wrong, they’re not my favorite people. One cousin in particular can never come around me again for a specific traumatic reason but we’re gonna move past that and focus on the bigger picture. And I’ve tried to keep in touch with certain people and my mom even asked one of my cousins that I actually like to check in on me because it isn’t fair that everyone dropped me, but no one is doing their part. That cousin never contacts me and I’m always reaching out. It’s always me calling. Me checking in. Why can’t y’all do the same? I’m the bitch with trauma. So I stopped calling and we’ve stopped speaking. And apart of me is like “Slices, they’re your grandparents so maybe technology is hard” but another part is like “they have multiple phones. How hard would calling me be? What about my cousins and aunts and uncles that never make the effort with me too? Why am I doing all the work and these grown ass people aren’t doing shit to keep our relationship growing?”. It’s just not fair. And I know “not fair” sounds childish because life isn’t fair, but that’s the only way I know how to describe it. It’s just not fair. The whole court shit happened when I was 14. I am 18 now and none of y’all have tried. And it’s not like I would just visit so our relationship ain’t that deep. Nah. I’ve lived with these people. Our family was close. So like?? And all my dad had to do legally for us to possibly start talking again was go to counseling, and he hasn’t done that yet and never will. So it’s like, why am I not worth holding onto or fighting for to anyone on that side of the family? What’s wrong with me?

I’m getting sad as fuck so imma end this here and go watch some edits or smth. This isn’t some cry for help, I promise. I’m not finna take myself off the Census. And this isn’t me fishing for anything. I’m just ranting. It’s a lot easier to do online, yk? I don’t feel like I’m bothering anyone with my shitty ass feelings because you can always just skip it. Sorry for bitching on main. I’m still the strong leader of our bread slices cult💪🏾🍞

Also the beginning is NOT an attack on people waiting for Everything pt4. I just know people are waiting for it and I’m working on it, but I feel like buns and those chapters are longer so they take longer to put out.

Moving On

Today I ran the last race of my freshman college xc season. I realized I had absolutely no motivation. There was no reason for me to run fast or give any amount of myself. I wasn't going to beat any of the seniors as a sign of my respect for then and their leadership they showed this season. I see now that if I had beat Dan, which was well within my grasp, I would have been first for the team but that doesn't matter now. As I look on the next three years it is clear God has placed this team in my hands. Something that I can use to glorify him. How will I do that. I will be first on the team which immediately garners the respect of the other runners and assures me the position of captain. The inclusion of a new coach in the mix. Even if it's P. Will be an interesting turn of events. I'm not sure what to do with that. I already have a great deal of respect for him and I think that if anyone can coach me to a national championship it's him. The only fear I have is that a transition in coaching could stunt recruiting. As it stands now we don't have enough people to field a team next year. That scares me. I think I need to decide to jump all into this thing. Currently I'm just using the team to further my own agenda but it's time to take control and stop consuming.

I realized just now that I've moved on. I'm at the point that I'm no longer bound by the past. I can be myself and find confidence in that. I wonder what she's doing right now? I hope she's moved on too. A mile for every minute we've spent together. I've run off the commitment I made to that relationship, payed the price, and moved on. I failed in that relationship. I was just taking from her. I may have been a gentleman and showed her respect but It was not respectful to entice her heart. In asking her to love me I took a part of her that her future husband will never have. Dating in it's current form is useless. Unless it's with the goal of marriage it doesn't honor either person. I really couldn't see dating someone for an extended period of time. There's a natural progression of both physical and emotional intimacy that have to happen at the same time. So I don't know where that leaves me. Dealing with a system I didn't create and almost our entire culture has bought into. I really need to learn how to communicate. Actually talk about things because people are more different then I could possibly imagine. Different societies(?) cultures come at things from completely different angles. It's selfish to assume that two people are on the same page emotionally or even psychologically.

Now let's make this note dangerous. Who are the girls here I would like to pursue? I feel like I've been here long enough to pick out a couple. I'm still in the socially handicapped freshman phase so it doesn't really matter. There's L. I've already fallen in love with the persona she portrays online but that is a dangerous place to be. I need to get to know her in real life but at this point there is no in. That's not entirely true because I think she is at least interested in who I am. Keep this open but don't stress about it. Then there's the interesting issue of V. I think she has a crush on the Facebook version of me which is funny. It's showed me how not to approach L. As for team mates they are off limits. Finally there are the two S's. The blond and the brunette. Why do I approach all relationships with girls from the perspective of marriage? Is that the only reason I'm here or is that what I've reduced women to In my mind. Simply future mates and not real people with which I can have meaningful relationships with... idk.

Why am I so disillusioned with school? I feel like classes are just a waste of my time. When you have a goal ahead of you it's hard to see meaning in pursuits that are distracting you from that. It doesn't help that none of my classes are really helping me get there. I don't really care about getting a degree from a college if it's not directly applicable to what my vocation will be. Art is so not straight forward like I would like. A business degree would be so easy. Our country is built on business. Even art is simply a commodity to be bought and sold. I'm just a machine that produces something someone else wants. Can I do anything with my life that is simply for the joy of the lord? Or will anything I do glorify him as long as I'm living my life in his service.

Next year:

Me - 28:28. Three more years

Z - 29:29. Two

M - 31:10. Three

J - 31:30. One

B??? Zero...?

M? That rounds out 5... (possibility)

Anyone? There has to be some more runners at coming...

No One I could drag from providence. ESP if soccer is at the same time. I couldn't take E away from the track.

I wish this thing would just type the answers back to me.

I'm A student of the sport from a consumer standpoint and as a spectator. Now I need to learn how to design workouts.

It's remarkable how much I need to be my own coach.

Hope I didn’t offend you, now I’m genuinely curious (if you don’t mind) what makes you like it so much? Cause I’ve watched it like 6 times and I just can’t deal with the secondhand embarrassment I get from it ahahahah I have to pause it, do something else and then get back to it multiple times lol

- still the same Ingrid Goes West anon 😇

oh my godohmygod it's happening!! someone is asking me about Ingrid Goes West!!! @wellsayhelloaagin finally I can bother someone else with my thoughts!!!

No no you didn't offend me at all and honestly, everyone that's said that they can't watch/won't rewatch that movie says the same thing about secondhand embarrassment so you're not alone! Idk why this movie doesn't affect me like that, but I'm okay with it because this movie just means so much to me ugh

Okay so, to break it down, I love IGW for two main reasons: the discussion of the dangers of parasocial relationships and the fakeness of social media/influencer culture.

I'm gonna put this under a cut bc I know everyone doesn't want all this analytical breakdown, I'm literally just so HYPED!! In this essay I will-

I swear I'm gonna try to keep this as short as possible because I'm sure you really don't care this much but uhhh here we go!

Parasocial Relationships: As a person who's been posting content on the internet since I was like, 13, I've been on both sides of this phenomenon; both the person idolizing someone who I don't know and thinking that I'm closer to them than I really am purely because they post themselves online and also the person receiving this type of attention, the one who people are overly familiar with, think they're close to me just because I'm publicly out here, etc. Neither side is good or healthy and they really, truly can be so dangerous.

Ingrid is the type of person who has an obsessive personality. Pair that with social media and the trend of influencers/public figures trying to be relatable and more of a friend, she's really susceptible to getting attached to people like Taylor who, at an outsider's perspective, is very open and friendly. Taylor's shallow and selfish, yeah, but she still has a right to privacy and doesn't deserve to be lied to and stalked like Ingrid does to her and I think it's extremely interesting that this movie doesn't shy away from the fact that people can indeed become extremely dangerous when their delusions are shattered. There's tons of movies that like to frame obsessive behavior as funny and laughable, but it really is scary and a violation of privacy and no one should have to go through that.

Influencer Culture: I swear I'm gonna keep this short. Basically, we're introduced to Taylor through her instagram and she's like this sweet and unique flower child almost with the perfect relaxing life and has a good group of friends with a nice husband and sweet dog. But then when we actually "meet" Taylor in the scene where they go to Joshua Tree, we see that the real Taylor does drugs and is not nearly as composed as she leads people to believe. She has business goals that she thinks are stupid, but she does have like.. thoughts that aren't "haha #couplegoals."

She shows this to Ingrid who then in turn thinks they're close which at that point we can't really fault Ingrid for, but we soon see that Taylor is the type of person who'll easily repress her real self to just hang around whoever is most beneficial to her. This reality doesn't match up with what Ingrid believes should be happening because again, parasocial relationship phenomena have led her to assume that her and Taylor are besties.

Influencers aren't "real," their public personas are not the real people they are and that's okay, it just shows in broad daylight that social media literally means NOTHING, you can be 100% yourself, but you can also be a complete persona and this movie shows that we shouldn't rely on what we see on the internet to be reality and I think that's so important!!

So!! Yeah I really love that this movie shows that and doesn't glorify or make light of Ingrid's behavior, nor does it paint Taylor as the antagonist because at the end of the day despite her faults, she isn't one. I know people say this movie is hard to watch, but I think that's the point? Reality is hard and cringey and people make mistakes that are so embarrassing you just want them to stop, but that's why it's important to look out for your friends, but also look out for yourself and keep your own online behavior in check for your own wellbeing and everyone elses!

~what bothers the signs~

<3 use your dominant sign, sun, moon, rising, mercury, mars, or venus <3

aries

trump supporters. ants in their bedroom. people who cling onto the past and don’t give them the chance to change. when guys comb their hair too neatly and end up looking awkwardly posh. teenage boys in general. their mom. “because i said so”. fake-humble people (fishing for compliments). when people harshly insult themselves in hopes that someone will say “aww no you’re not!” possessive friends who get mad when they spend time with anyone else.  

taurus

when the shower water turns cold because they’ve been in there too long. being told to hurry up. teachers who try too hard to be friends with their students. when astrology posts act like their only personality trait is eating a lot. carelessly flirty people. when people romanticize recklessness. “idk, just because”. when their friends cancel plans at the last minute. flaky people in general. people who change their mind every day. unreliable people who act in unpredictable ways (taureans need to be able to fully trust you). shitty service at a restaurant  

gemini

“ok then”. math. passive-aggressive people who remind them of their past mistakes, and force them to re-state their apologies. being left on read. feeling a mix of guilt and indignation when someone isn’t treating them right. being so self-aware that it turns into frantic defensiveness. strict routine. dry texters. “umm i don’t know how to respond to that.” feeling controlled by an outside force or person. relentless creepy men who repeatedly dm them after being told to stop 3 times. slow walkers.  

cancer

attention whores. “get over it”. “life isn’t fair.” “tough shit.” people who don’t remember the pain they caused them in the past; who expect them to just move on. people who leave in the middle of a texting conversation. loud, spitty chewing. awkward butt-touching. when people question their motives and intentions (this will make a cancer extremely stressed). when their friends are too busy to make time to listen to them vent. when people try to act “alpha” and make a big deal about themselves. people who are able to switch off their emotions and freeze them out 

leo

when someone tells the same story over and over again. pimples. when people don’t point out how particularly hot they look that day. that sickly cold feeling on a cloudy early morning. one-uppers. people who raise their hand in class to read from the textbook and then speak at the speed of a snail. people who act weirded-out when they compliment them. fake baby-voice. when people step on their white shoes. “you have so much potential, if only you’d apply yourself”. repetitive throat clearing. “you’re so annoying”

virgo

feeling like an afterthought. people who don’t practice proper oral hygiene. when people talk too close to their face (if you want a virgo to hate you in .02 seconds, just start whispering directly into their face without having brushed your teeth that morning). when they can’t tell if their crush’s personality is just flirty, or if they’re interested in them back. being sweaty. girls who wear too much perfume. sleeping in the same room as someone who constantly shuffles the blanket around with their legs. “it was a joke, chill” 

libra

people who think it’s cute to constantly point out “well this is awkward”. self-proclaimed “brutally honest” people who put on their dating profile that they’re “fluent in sarcasm” (basically unresolved feelings of aggression showcased as a “bad bitch” persona). people who don’t wear deodorant. super loud people who need to make every situation about them. when a person never initiates a conversation, so they have to always do it. the inner conflict of not wanting to put up with people’s toxicity any longer but also not wanting to piss people off by saying anything. online shopping sites that load too slowly  

scorpio

straight tiktok. fake people who smile to your face and then shit on you behind your back. people who try to be funny by doing things like tapping them on the shoulder and pretending it wasn’t them, or having an unannounced staring contest. catcalls. people who get super uncomfortable really easily. when someone makes a superficial judgement about them without getting to know them first. self-pitying people who try to guilt them into dating them. 

sagittarius

“shhh!” feeling like a nuisance. people who get offended when they curse. people who are overly secretive and protective of their phones. youtuber apology videos. when someone thinks their interests are “cringey”. when someone spoils the end of a movie, book or tv series. when their family leaves balled-up hair on the shower wall. people who don’t take them seriously. old people with superiority complexes. their dysfunctional family dynamic. mockers 

capricorn

people who purposefully fart near them and think of it as a joke. april fool’s day. their uncle. fake-deep quotes. edgy posts (like “at the end of the day nothing matters” and other stuff like that). when people invalidate their problems by quoting vague, condescendingly positive philosophies. when they can’t find a misplaced belonging (capricorns FREAK OUT when this happens; it’s intense). waking up late and not having enough time to complete their perfectly crafted routines. 

aquarius

people who attach emotions to every little situation. people who don’t straight-up state how they’re feeling, and passive-aggressively expect them to just “get it”. when people guilt them for not hanging out with them every waking second. people who don’t honor their need for independence and individuality. clingy people. close-minded bigots. people who are so self-centered that they’re unable to see the magnitude of others’ suffering. when someone is blissfully unaware of the world. people who complain and wallow in their sadness yet who do nothing to change their situation. people who overreact to trivial things. highly reactive people. judgmental stares. 

pisces

“are you seriously crying about that?” coarseness meant to be perceived as “cool”. people who are so sarcastic to the point of it being offensive. when people think of animals as less valuable than people. spiritual superiority (”my beliefs are the only right ones”). perfectionists. timed tests. trying to do push-ups. when someone invalidates their emotions because they’re “not logical”

I'd love to read more about what you think about how often they get in trouble! And since you said Riven would get flack for Musa's songs, do you think he'd get flack for having dated Darcy?

FUCK YEAH DUDE

Fair warning, this is a bit long!

So, for the Winx, I said that most to least likely to get in trouble was Musa, Stella - Bloom, Flora, Tecna, and then Aisha. And for the Specialists, I said Riven, Sky, Brandon, Helia, and then Timmy. Again, I do think who's the most hated greatly depends on the planet and culture, so how often they get into trouble also depends on this (for instance, Stella having a more laid back approach to certain things may get her in trouble on Zenith, but not on Solaria).

Musa: The classic problematic. It's not that she's a bad person, she's just in the news a lot. Sometimes it's about another heartbreak song, sometimes it's about a fight she had with Riven in public, sometimes it's about her dry humor and sarcasm being interpreted as mean, and other times it's about some vague tweet she wrote and never deleted. She advocates for a lot of good stuff and definitely uses her platform to try and change things so she's not the worst celebrity out there, but she also tends to speak before she knows everything and that can occasionally be a problem. She fiercely defends the others when they get into trouble and constantly vagues "news sources" (aka drama sites) so people still view her as a little negative by proxy. (Also, some people think her being a fairy of music gave her an unfair advantage in the music industry and that she isn't actually talented.)

Stella - Bloom: I'm putting them on the same level because I think they're both fairly similar in how often they get into drama. As princesses who often get involved in things, their every movement is under scrutiny. Stella handles it a lot better than Bloom due to her media training and being watched since she was young.

Bloom usually tries to stay out of the negative spotlight but that often makes her seem avoidant of important issues. She does speak up about things but it's usually after days of editing and rewriting her words so she gets accused of only talking about something because people wanted her to. She also tends to get nervous answering anything about politics or Domino so that makes people reluctant to listen to her words. Then there's the obvious drama with Sky. While they aren't as public as Rivusa, things get out quickly and when they're in a heated moment they tend to forget about their surroundings. People from Eraklyon tend to hate both of them because Bloom is "too loud and angry and just being rude" and Sky is "forgetting his place and rising to the challenge, not a great sign for a future king". On the flip side, Bloom has saved the magical universe multiple times and continues to do so. Basically, she's one of those celebrities that you either really love or really hate.

Stella is another classic problematic! Again, it's not that she's a bad person, she just gets noticed a lot. People accuse her of being classist and ignorant just because she's royalty. They also hate whenever she spends a lot of money on things like clothing and makeup because it's seen as a wasted expense (since most of her money pre-S3 was coming from her parents). People absolutely see her as a spoiled brat that can't read the room and doesn't deserve to be queen. Stella often tries to prove those ideas wrong in very subtle ways because she knows outright denying them would only further the problem. But just like the others, she spends a lot of time advocating for the good and for the better. She also cares deeply about her friends and it's obvious to everyone, even the people that hate her. So while she is in the news a lot, most people can see through it and support her. But she does still get into trouble for her shopping sprees. Her spending a lot of money on things is largely why people sometimes have trouble being on her side. It's almost always seen as a spoiled princess move and a large factor in why people think she's classist and/or ignorant.

Flora: Flora is interesting because a lot of people initially assume that because she's a very shy and nice girl that she won't get into any drama. So it's a complete surprise when she argues with people online and starts calling people out. She's often fighting for the right thing and she rarely gets her facts wrong, but people hate getting called out and they hate it when someone they think should be quiet and nice goes to town on their ass. Even the people that agree with her often think she's too aggressive in her replies (while others think her tone is fine). Flora also isn't extremely open about her personal life outside of fighting crime with the Winx so that doubles her online persona as being just mean and "too political". People say that she should just stick to watering plants and leave the politics to the actual politicians. She responds by calling them hypocrites since they were just asking for celebrities to use their platforms. She gets called out for thinking she's a celebrity. She responds that she has a large platform and people follow her for her work. It's just a constant cycle and she never runs out of things to say (which isn't bad, but it always gets her into trouble). Tbh, I can also see the exact opposite where Flora just doesn't get involved in anything because she's too busy posting pictures of her plants and random dogs she sees but, I think eventually the need to defend her friends would win out and once she gets a little taste of activism, she wouldn't stand down (yknow how she constantly berates the Winx for wanting to attack the controlled animals? Basically like that. She has very strong moral opinions).

Tecna: I had some trouble with this because I almost wanted to put her last but overall I think her general personality would get her into trouble more than what happens with Aisha. Tecna is often blunt and she doesn't necessarily hide when she doesn't like something. So sometimes reporters will come up to her and ask her a question and she'll just hit them with an "I don't want to talk to you." and then walks away. Tecna doesn't see anything wrong with this because she views being honest to the media as relatively important as they could easily find out if she's lying through spying and technology. Overall, people just see her as a little too honest and she gets into trouble a lot with being open about not wanting to interact with fans a lot or being cautious about press.

Aisha: It's a bit surprising that a princess is the last on the list no? Andros has a very good handle on things like media and press, and while they definitely aren't controlling it by any means, most news sites know not to mess with them. They're very strict on things like personal boundaries and privacy and try to protect anyone who could be affected by the media (celebrities, online personas, royals, athletes, etc). Aisha also has the best media training out of all the Winx and is really good at knowing what to say and what to share. People know just enough about her social life through sns that they aren't constantly asking about it but not enough to try and cancel her for anything. She's almost seen as the goody-goody of the bunch since she just doesn't get into a lot of drama (and when she does it's handled extremely well).

Now the Specialists!

Riven: It's no surprise that he's first I mean cmon. With Musa being the most "problematic" of the Winx, Riven is bound to get his fair share of scrutiny. People absolutely judge him for having a past with Darcy. Although... I really don't think it would be the biggest factor. While he did genuinely like Darcy, she used magic on him multiple times to manipulate his thoughts and then later betrayed him. Riven wouldn't want to put unnecessary hate on all witches, but he'd also be mad enough to eventually allude to what actually happened (he'd never outright say it since it also hurts his pride). Most people accept that he got manipulated by Darcy and assume that the entirety of the relationship was based on that, which Riven doesn't like either, but trying to defend her wouldn't exactly help his case. On the other hand, the relationship he does get hated for is his relationship with Musa. Musa definitely shares the good and cute stories about them too, but her sad/angry heartbreak songs are always the ones that get remembered. People assume he's a lot worse than he actually is and whenever Musa or one of the others tries to defend him, they just assume Riven manipulated them into doing that. However, after S4, people get a lot more understanding of the relationship and there isn't as much hate towards him (he does still get called out for being a bit brutish though).

Sky: I almost put Sky as first, but then I remembered he's royalty and definitely has a PR team. Still, he gets into a lot of drama. The Diaspro/Bloom situation was blown out of proportion and every news site was reporting completely different things. To some, Sky is a dirty cheater that lied to his wife and got some random girlfriend, "who knows how many other girls he's talking to! Someone get his phone records with Stella". To others, Sky and Diaspro were happily engaged before homewrecker Bloom came in. And to others, Sky was just the prince trying to protect his identity and got wrapped into some catfight. No one knows what actually happened with them but a lot of people start to assume Diaspro was in the wrong once it's confirmed Sky is officially dating Bloom. They start actively hating her when she tries to magic her way into a relationship with him. And that's just the relationship stuff! Erakylon's politics are so weak and absolutely crumbling before our eyes. Sky would constantly get asked about specific things to try and break him and it doesn't help that the media sites from the other royal characters are the ones doing it.

Brandon: Is this ranking a bit surprising? Idk? But anyway, Brandon would literally just get hated by proxy. Most of his "drama" includes what's happening with Sky and/or Stella. If one of them is getting into trouble, then people are bringing him into it for absolutely no reason. Brandon knows more about Eraklyon and Solaria's political climates than he will ever need to know. While he doesn't have as much media training as Sky, he does have to follow some rules just so Sky doesn't get into trouble for what he says. That means he can't speak up about as many issues and he certainly can't constantly defend his friends from harsh words. He tries to get away with it by liking comments instead of making his own. It helps a little.

Helia: Helia gets into the same exact trouble that he gets into with the Winx fandom. He's quiet and he shares absolutely nothing about his personal life. He's an artist but he doesn't post about it nor does he talk about it. He avoids talking to the press and when he does its always vague answers that could mean anything. Helia cares a lot about Saladin and Red Fountain's image and we know that what he does affects said image. So he treads very carefully and doesn't involve himself in anything. However, this is largely what gets him into trouble. People hate that he's not open about anything and some even go to the extreme of thinking he's suspicious. While Saladin's legacy largely protects him from this, it doesn't protect him from the media and random people constantly asking about his personal life. Helia also rarely if ever defends the others online (1. as he almost never looks at it and 2. because he doesn't want to get involved). He comforts them and gives advice to their face but no one else sees that so people often call him things like "pretentious, two-faced, avoidant, etc". People are also weirdly suspicious about his relationship with Flora because "it can't be that good right? there's definitely something suspicious about them".

Timmy: Timmy's just a genuinely nice guy that rarely gets into trouble. He chooses his battles (so to speak) very wisely so when he does defend the others online, it's almost always something a majority of people will agree with. Almost all of his social media is about the latest in technology and gaming so he's pretty big in those crowds but most media sites can't really do anything with that. Sometimes people from Zenith see him as weird but they recognize that he's a good match for Tecna so they're okay with him. By the time all of the Specialists are truly in the spotlight, he's already gotten buffer and more confident so those issues from S1 wouldn't be a huge deal either. The others also speak highly of him so no one really doubts that he's a good specialist. For the most part, he just doesn't get into trouble and when he does it's always connected to someone else rather than something he alone said/did.

Everything You Need to Know about “Shadow and Bone” on Netflix (*UPDATED: POSSIBLE LANGUAGE OF THORNS ADAPTATION INFO)

 Since it’s recently been confirmed that we’d be getting S&B content in a few days (finally!), I thought I’d compile and summarize as much info as I could to refresh everyone’s memories! Please spread the word/share this post to those who aren’t up to date! (I’ve seen some people online who are worried about how it’s going to turn out, and I’d like to be able to hopefully reassure those people)

Now, there’s a LOT of stuff, so there’s always the chance I missed/forgot something. This post will be split up into categories based on type of info, so here we go! I went back and listened to/watched both of the big live streams (NYCC and the S&B Charity Competition), went on the Grishaverse Reddit, etc. to find as much (extra/bonus) stuff as I could. (If I missed anything/got something wrong, please feel free to leave a comment!)

Update: A lot of people have been asking where it was confirmed we were getting content soon. I found out from one of the update accounts I follow.

Thanks for reading, everyone!

General/Key Info About the Show

-This first season will be adapting both “Shadow and Bone” and what has been dubbed a “Book 0″ (most likely meaning prequel/backstory/set-up) for “Six of Crows” -In relation to the above point, the timelines are being brought together for the show. (Normally in the books, the two series are set two years apart)(We don’t know how exactly or what this means for the story, but I have a really interesting theory that I thought up in relation to this, message me if you’d like to hear it.) -Leigh acknowledges and understands that some of us have doubts and are worried about the show, but she has publicly assured us (numerous times) of how much she loves the show and cast, how well she thinks the crew/writers did in bringing the Grishaverse to life, etc. See a later point below in the Facts/Tidbits section -The first season will have 8, one-hour long episodes -Alina has been made half Shu (half Asian) for the show! Leigh stated that was decided on after she and Eric had a lengthy discussion on Alina’s character. -The main cast (as in confirmed to be in all episodes) is comprised of Jessie Mei Li (as Alina), Archie Renaux (as Mal), Ben Barnes (as the Darkling), Freddy Carter (as Kaz), Amita Suman (as Inej), and Kit Young (as Jesper) -Wylan and Nikolai are NOT in the first season. (Nikolai didn’t appear until the second book, and Leigh confirmed that at this point in the story, the Crows had not met Wylan yet.) -Other cast members include Danielle Galligan (as Nina), Calahan Skogman (as Matthias), Daisy Head (as Genya), Sujaya Dasgupta (as Zoya), Luke Pasqualino (as David), Julian Kostov (as Fedyor), Simon Sears (as Ivan), Zoe Wanamaker (as Baghra), and more! -The Darkling will also be called “General Kirigan” in the show. From what we know, The Darkling will be the “enemy” to Ravka (so in essence, General Kirigan is his alias/fake persona (what he’ll most likely be referred to for most of the show), and no one knows that he’s actually their enemy. (Meaning it’ll most likely a super big moment when they learn their general was actually the Darkling in disguise)). -The show was shot on location in Budapest, Hungary. (And additional filming took place this past fall in Vancouver) -In order, the 8 episodes are titled the following: “A Searing Burst of Light”, “We’re All Someone’s Monster”, “The Making at the Heart of the World”, “Otkazat’sya”, “Show Me Who You Are”, “The Heart is An Arrow”, “The Unsea”, & “No Mourners”.

Other (Fun) Facts/Tidbits About the Show

-Upon seeing Jessie’s audition, Leigh loved her audition/portrayal of Alina so much that she apparently stated that she wanted her to play Alina or she’d be out of the project. She was sent five auditions to watch, Jessie’s was the third, and she said she didn’t bother watching the rest of them. -Leigh stated that she and Eric Heisserer (the creator of the show) said they were on the same page from the first meeting. All other past meetings with producers and companies about possible adaptations had left her with a bad feeling, but she said they’d had the same ideas about inclusion, story, staff, etc. She said she’s loved the respect he’s shown towards the work (and, in a way, to us the fans) -Netflix apparently also has the rights to adapt “The Language of Thorns” , though we’ve gotten no info on that adaptation yet. (UPDATE: I just watched a Leigh Bardugo event from Feb 2019 (a few weeks after the show was first announced, I think): As of  that day, she said that she thought that they were going to use LoT more for "texture” (IMO that might mean worldbuilding?) in the show. And I don’t know if she was talking about LoT specifically because she was very vague, but she said that there were certain things in the show that she thinks readers will be really excited about. Again, this was over a year ago, back when they were still in pre-production and stuff, so don’t take my word for it. Besides this, I couldn’t find anything else relating to a possible LoT adaptation. Maybe they’ll have the stories from LoT appear as actual folk tales told in the show, and that’s the “adaptation”? IDK. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpHnw8Ygw5c&t=1906s)) -Leigh is an exec. producer on the show! I’m no expert, so I don’t know how much say/power she had in the process, but she definitely had some. -There is a RAVKAN edition of the “Shadow and Bone” book that Leigh says makes a cameo in the show! -Jesper’s guns had custom etchings done on them by a Hungarian antique gunsmith! (And they were so good that Leigh and Eric said that it looked like it belonged in a museum--they were also described to be quite heavy!) -Eric Heisserer is the creator of the show, he is an award-winning writer, well known for “Arrival”, “Bird Box”, and more. (If I remember correctly, Leigh said that he’d reached out to her about making the show!) -A DeKappel painting (maybe the one owned by Van Eck?) was confirmed to be in the pilot episode. -Pekka Rollins and Tante Heleen have been confirmed to be in the first season, but their casting has (up to this point) not yet been revealed. -Bo Yul-Bayur is confirmed to be in the show! (Though Kuwei has not) -Leigh will have  a cameo in (I think) Episode 5! She will be wearing a Materialki kefta and will be opening a door, if I remember correctly. -A lot of the crew was also extremely passionate about the project and fans of the books -The “Lives of Saints” book that was published in October is an actual book/prop that is appearing in the show! -I’m personally fine with Mal, but Leigh says that Archie is going to change everyone’s minds with his portrayal! -The costume designer for the show is Wendy Partridge, known for her work on “Thor: The Dark World”, “Pompeii”, and more!  -The composer for the show is Joe Trapanese, known for composing for “The Greatest Showman”, “Straight Outta Compton”, “Lady and the Tramp”, and more! At the NYCC Grishaverse panel, they revealed a little bit of the score (”Grisha Theme”): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFxIEbsHKJA 

Fun Cast/On Set Stories/Facts

-The cast all loves each other, and are all extremely passionate about this show, which is great! (Leigh said that on her second visit to the set, she heard them singing together) -Leigh says that Ben Barnes once snuck up behind her on her first day on set and scared her by whispering “Fine, make me your villain” -Freddy’s favorite Grishaverse book is “Six of Crows”, but most specifically the first line of chapter 2 (”Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason.”) -Jessie would apparently come to set on some of her days off to support the cast and crew! -Sujaya has stated that her favorite Grishaverse character is Nikolai! (#Zoyalai) -Freddy has become famous/popular with the fandom, one of the reasons being because he often comments on posts/live streams asking something along the lines of “What was it like working with Freddy Carter? xoxo” -Danielle loves Nina and her journey in “King of Scars” -According to a Tweet, Freddy and Leigh said that there had been a scene with “a very pesky gate”--Freddy said that it “wouldn’t be proper to tweet the expletives [he] used that day” and that he thinks he “scarred” Amita and Eric. -Amita’s favorite thing about Inej is her silence, and her favorite Grishaverse book is “Six of Crows” (as of May, where we learned this during a live-stream, she said she’s read it three times and listened to the audiobook twice.) -There was a waffle truck on set on the last day of shooting! -Calahan says that if he could play any other Grishaverse character, he’d want to play Nikolai! -While she did work with the trainer to get more physically fit, Amita learned most of her knife techniques by herself! -Leigh said she cried a lot while on set! (She said there was one scene they were shooting that she has a very clear, vivid memory of writing many years back--based on the context of which she was talking about it, if I had to guess, I’d guess she’s describing the Winter Fete.) -Leigh also said that on one of her first days on set, it was funny/weird to see all the extras in First Army uniforms chilling on their phones, drinking coffee, etc. -One of Calahan’s favorite character dynamics in the books is the dynamic between Kaz and Matthias -There was a moment where Amita was fully in costume and doing amazing, graceful knife work, only to trip and fall when she’d finished. -Amita and Jessie and Sujaya were best friends on set. -Sujaya loved everything about playing Zoya. (Especially her confidence) -Leigh says one of her favorite props was Kaz’s cane, especially because of what it meant to her and the story. -If he could be any Grisha order, Calahan says he’d want to be a Corporalki -Calahan loves Matthias’s journey/arc. -Kit’s favorite Grishaverse book is “Crooked Kingdom”!

Links

-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X65iI1YXrbU (NYCC Grishaverse Panel) -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHou5rVs6o0 (S&B Talent Show Charity Live Stream ft. the S&B Cast!--the IG video got taken down because Archie deleted his IG account and switched to a new one) -https://www.netflix.com/title/80236319 (”Shadow and Bone” on Netflix!) -https://twitter.com/shadowandbone_ (Official “Shadow and Bone” Twitter!) -https://www.instagram.com/shadowandbone/?hl=en (Official “Shadow and Bone” Instagram!) -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRh-Pmbynww (Annoucement made by cast when filming wrapped! (can be found on the social media accounts, but here’s a link to YT)) -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bpY8uLtyB4 (A S&B Cast Crack video by HeartPhantom--it highlights a lot of the inside jokes and memes that we’ve gotten to witness among the cast, and also just generally shows off how hilariously chaotic everyone is (this cast is the definition of chaotic good, lol))

Are you friends with any TIMs or TIFs? Are they really that crazy?

Oh I’m friends with a few TIFs, and I’ve dealt with my fair share of TIMs as well

My friends aren’t very unpleasant people or else I wouldn’t be friends with them, in fact the majority of them were people I knew before they identified as transgender. So it was more like watching them slowly descend into gender madness, but they’re aware of my ideas too so if we weren’t friends from before they probably wouldn’t have stuck around. It’s something we joke about occasionally, just having rapidly different views and all. I know they’d never want to speak to me about their gender troubles considering I wouldn’t nearly give them as much validation as their other friends which although makes me feel a tiny bit sad that I can’t be for them with All of their struggles, but its better than me feeding into something which I know may be harmful to them or be a harmful mindset.

TIFs in general (including my friends) all have had either a large amount of internalized misogyny and this immediately reflects in the way they treat or perceive other women after becoming more masculine or “passing” better, or have had something happen to them (whether online or irl) which made them feel like they were never women at all, this doesn’t apply to all of them (just my personal observation)

I’m sure there are some transmascs who are just enjoying the idea of being a man and not hurting anyone (other than themselves i assume?) but yeah, the ones without dysphoria annoy me the most because its really just them running away from the idea of being a woman at all, or those “trans people can be gnc!” posts, those just get me confused on what they even want.

Some TIFs will go through a “not like other girls” phase, which trans ideology eats up like breakfast, and so they decide they’re not a girl at all, or because of the internet, majority of the girls i meet who end up being groomed, flirted with by someone they weren’t interested in, or even sexualized (irl or online doesn’t matter in this instance since it happens in both), they try to escape that they’re a target.

I don’t talk about myself much but I struggle with dysphoria a lot, and before I found radical feminism, I thought I was trans for wanting to escape all my internal thoughts of how a woman should be that were put in my head by the people around me, (being a brown muslim girl specifically didn’t help) and I thought I was somehow different for not enjoying femininity and not liking my body and not wanting to be a baby making machine (since the only women in my life seemed so content with knowing thats all they were supposed to be) but this community really opened my eyes and gave me the courage to realize that I was never different.

Now, I’ve dealt with TIMs, and they really are just as bad as they say. The first one I met was really just role playing as an anime girl whenever he spoke, he had some trauma with his dad which I assume put some ideas of toxic masculinity in his head so thats why he decided he wasn’t a man at all?? Idk i didn’t ask very well but talking to him was extremely uncomfortable. The funniest thing I remember is that he would act so “submissive” to appear more “feminine” with his little stutters in texts and this whole shy persona. And one day I dm’d him and i said “hey, you don’t have to stutter through text, its kind of annoying” (i was 12 at the time mind you, idk how old he was exactly but i think he was 16-18?) and his way of texting immediately changed. He told me to shut the fuck up, and that i had no idea what he had been through and that I shouldn’t comment on anything he does.

Which completely threw me off cause I genuinely thought this guy was supposed to be nice? I didn’t believe for one second that he was a girl with his voice even as a 12 year old on fucking discord but watching him suddenly shift like that was something I remembered later on. I do purposefully avoid TIMs since interacting with them makes my brain fry, I’ve dealt with worse but this was just one mild(?) example, the rest are just misogynistic slurs being thrown at me for speaking up, blatant racism, very defensive behaviour and so on. TIFs are TIMs biggest defenders and I genuinely don’t have any idea why, they say shit like “transmascs have more privilege than transfemmes so check yourself” its hair pulling level stupid.

Thank god I haven’t dealt with anything as crazy as what I’ve seen on radblr but once you’re aware of something you tend to see it everywhere, even in the smallest form, every time I see a trans activism post I’m immediately aware of the extremist lengths a simple instagram post is leading to. Chanting “free2pee” at an lgbt support group isn’t the quirky phrase you think it is, and even if I could answer your question with “oh no, we’re just fear mongering blah blah i love my trans friends” it still wouldn’t dismiss the many other encounters women on radblr have had, they’re in the right for sharing their experiences and boosting the experiences of other women, so my one statement alone shouldn’t exactly be something to fully go off of. You did ask Me this question so yeah I’m just speaking from experience and personal opinion.

What's your favorite and least favorite thing about gogy?

idk why this isn’t framed like an ask like it looks like i just typed the above stuff out omg i don’t know what you did op but sure i’ll answer this!

edit: anon i’m so sorry and i didn’t realise you said “thing” and this is very lengthy

i’ll start with my least favourite, george can be really stubborn sometimes and when he won’t easily give into something it’ll kind of ruin the mood/make others really frustrated and it can be tense to watch

it’s like sometimes he knows when to concede and back down and other times he’ll just argue for ages and want it his way it’s usually over very silly stuff related to minecraft, then again it also doesn’t ruin entire streams because him and his friends are quick to get over stuff it’s just something he does which can be awkward to watch in the moment

on a more serious note george being aggressively apolitical is also not my favourite thing i get it and i largely appreciate how he tries to stay unproblematic and he has a good track record but his radio silence sometimes on things is not a good look and it’s something that can personally bother me

but also it’s not like i can or want people to force him to make statements on stuff he doesn’t know enough about but a little allyship couldn’t hurt when it’s a cause everyone is rallying behind and most of the time it’s only ever george who hasn’t said anything even sapnap and dream have had things they stood for or at least when it mattered and george just hasn’t, ever

it’s worth it to note i don’t think he’s secretly a bad person or has really awful views i just think he doesn’t get/care about politics and it’s okay to admit that comes from a place of privilege no one is above this

my favourite george things include (because i cant pick just one):

how he instantly vibes with people he sometimes straight up doesn’t know there’s so many examples of this and i always love watching his mcc povs because it’s nice to see people instantly warm to him, he just has that effect and it means i never fear him being in calls with people he doesn’t talk to/know that well because it’s never awkward he’s always pleasant and he’ll match their energy and it’s a really nice time! bbh was right yesterday about george having a bright personality that people are drawn to

his non-competitiveness and ability to not take stuff toxically seriously is really nice and refreshing like again, it’s why i’ll always pick stuff like his mcc pov to watch because he’s just there for the ride and to have fun and be entertaining for his viewers and obviously he’ll try his best and if he wins it’s so exciting but if he doesn’t it was still a really really good time and the vibes would always be good regardless

i love his respect for his own privacy unironically i think it’s cool that he doesn’t want to share every detail about his life and he shouldn’t have to i like that he clearly separates the content and his online persona from his real life some stuff is just personal to him and he should be allowed his things that he doesn’t want to share with the world but i like when he does and it always feels special when he wants to :)

i like that he’s kind to his viewers and always wants to make us happy and it’s in the little things he does, like i was rewatching an old stream and someone asked him to turn on the subtitles in minecraft because they were hard of hearing and he did it immediately he also writes down peoples names to check out what they’ve sent to him and seems to make an effort to check

i’ve mentioned this before but he tells off people for spending too much money on him genuinely and it’s funny i remember him once saying something along the lines of “it’s not reverse psychology when i tell you to stop like i seriously don’t want you spending that much on me” and it was just nice to hear and he always wants to satisfy his viewers and make us happy and give us the best content he can offer and i really appreciate it

i also love how he genuinely engages with people he’ll do it by pointing out peoples funny twitch names and expands on their donos when he wouldn’t have to and starts discussions w his chat and i just like that when someone says something to him he takes it in considers it and replies honestly and starts talking about it generally i don’t know how to explain it but george doesn’t brush off donos the same way i see a lot of other people do he genuinely thinks about his answers and what he’ll say back

would it be silly to mention how i love how he interacts with his pets/animals he seems to melt down into a softer version of himself whispering and being really gentle it’s a nice side of him to get to see sometimes he seems like genuinely such a kind person

and my god this is getting so long but the last thing i’ll point out and i talk about this a lot so i’m sorry but it’s how i love when george has these little moments where you can see he really pays attention to and appreciates the smallest details in life whether it’s him fawning over dogs in minecraft or simplistically describing the frogs he’d catch as a kid as “slimy” or appreciating a good sunset it’s like, i just like how he looks at things and decides he likes them and wants to be happy over them, this world is so chaotic and busy there’s smth beautiful to me in someone who can stop and appreciate the simple wonders in it for a moment and it’s weirdly grounding

alright i’m so sorry this was an essay long response i’m so bad at condensing my george feelings but i hope this came across well if you’re still here thanks for reading