#batfleck gave no fucks
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hate on it if you will, but BVS had Batman 1) insulting Superman to his face without hesitation 2) breaking a sink over Superman’s head and proceeding to curb stomp him Gotham style and 3) blaming Superman for the in-universe equivalent of 9/11 and kinda being right about it
#he’s just so funny#batfleck gave no fucks#that ‘you aren’t a man’ rant kind of ate#like how did that not hobble Clark’s intrusive thoughts for YEARS#bruce wayne#batman#dc#BVS#Batfleck#Ben affleck#Clark kent#Superman#batman v superman#batman v superman: dawn of justice
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so you don't like Christian Bale batman, and you like Robert Pattinson Batman. how about we run through your takes on the list of cinematic adaptations of the caped crusader?
George Clooney
Michael Keaton
Val Kilmer
Will Arnet
We all already know how you feel about Batfleck, so we're not gonna touch that.
The entire movie is made just by the scene where Alfred asks Bruce "what is Batman, if not an effort to master the chaos that sweeps the world? An attempt to control death?" Clooney's performance is fine, kinda generic, and the movie is an unmitigated tire fire, but the world of Batman and Robin is so joyously psychedelic and absurd that I kinda love it regardless. The most fun I've had with a bad movie.
Pulls off the performance of Bruce Wayne, struggles a little with the batsuit's clumsy design working against him. These movies are absolutely made by Catwoman, whose character arc and relationship with Bruce is genuinely heartbreaking. The "mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it" line is stupid as all fuck, but the moment it produces in the dance - where the two of them simultaneously realize each other's identities and do nothing but cling to each other for a moment, unsure of how to move forward but still so thoroughly in love that they can't let go - is truly incredible. This Batman has more romantic and sexual tension than any superhero movie made in the last decade.
Didn't watch this one. It gave us "Kiss from a Rose" though, so automatic points.
Lego Batman understands that Batman is supposed to be hypercompetent and good at everything except processing his emotional issues, and I like that. Points off for giving Dick Grayson the "Birds Of Prey Cassandra Cain" treatment and slapping the name of an incredibly badass and beloved character onto a wide-eyed naïve kid who exists in the story solely to serve the character development of the grumpy grown-up hero they get attached to, thus depriving us of the character's true form. Extra points off because Dick Grayson is in my absolute top tier of Best Bois and this version is unrecognizable. Batman himself is fine, albeit a bit more of a joke than most batmen, but that's just how the medium works. This Batman feels a bit like a kid on a playground pretending to be Batman, which is definitely deliberate. Absolutely flawless as Bruce Wayne, 10/10.
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I think saying Tim Drake has a lack of importance in the Bat-Family shows a clear ignorance to the history of Batman itself, which is very common. It’s a dang comic book series, not important historical events.
His part in bringing the Bat-Family as we know it now is a lot larger than people act, he used to actually arguably be the heart of the Bat-Family since he used to be the only one with a relationship to everyone, people now act like Tim took advantage of a grieving man, when nah, he’s the one that actually helped Bruce escape at least a little bit out of that. Without Tim, Batman would’ve gone the way of Batfleck. People keep ignoring that for some reason. And he was the more natural normal kid perspective, rich or not, he still had normal kid problems that he went through, and was played through this angle more than any other character. (I think people hear he’s rich and imagine this whole other character. But nah, he was played as just a normal kid. Editorial stating he works as a character because he is the everykid who thinks he’s the everykid, but is Robin, so clearly he is not.)
To me, I think it’s more accurate to say DC gave Tim a lack of importance. As they pretty much took away anything that made him note-worthy for years.
People who keep thinking what they read is great quality, when the readership gets lower and lower, and it isn’t hard to go back and read older things that would give you a total different vibe of what was, confuse me in one way yet I understand it.
You’re never going to naturally assume “Oh yes, clearly they fucked this up, this bad” without any context.
But with context it’s totally a “Oh shit, they fucked this up so damn bad. Oh my gosh. This is a train wreck.” situation.
Like Tim’s a character not even the writers bothered trying to understand properly, so I’m not shocked readers are the same. It’s a matter of it being a shame that it ended up happening.
It’s also one of the reasons why I don’t bother talking to any modern Bat-Family fan. Because odds are they just aren’t going to get it, and really, it isn’t their problem, it’s always going to be mine.
Making up standards as an excuse to not like a fictional character, when all you have to do is say “I don’t care for them” is freakin’ weird though, ngl.
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Happy Birthday, Allison Mack aka Pain in the Ass Woman! I don’t condone what she did at that damn awful fucking cult. I’m glad she’s away from it despite how disappointed i am of her still the way she led her life despite she wasted her talent on a disgusting asshole pedo like Keith Raniere. I still believe Allison can turn her life around but given time if she puts more effort into it then she has a chance. I normally don’t but too faith in anyone but a few people. Allison’s character on Smallville was the best in opinion and i honestly don’t care too much if anyone disagree’s with me. But she was to me, When i met her the first time in comic con she was very nice to me when i was fresh out of the hospital being 27, after almost dying. I didn’t have any direction in my life. I was so angry after being mistreated as i was shown the true colors of my so-called friends. I didn’t have any hopes or dreams left in me anymore. I was wrong to throw them away. I gave up on myself as i was so angry at society and rebelled. Then i went a road trip with a friend of mine at the time at a comic con. Then i met Allison one day inperson. She was full of life that inspired me to be better but i made that choice to be better. She never knew one act of kindness she did getting my stuff i left behind at her booth would effect me. I ask myself would someone like JDF do that for me? No, He can careless if i live or die. He never cared for me only used me but later i used him. I have no regrets over it maybe if he wasn’t an asshole bully wanting to fight anyone he deems a threat to him and his ego. Maybe i would respect him. Why can i forgive Allison but not JDF, JDF did worst to me more ways than anyone will ever know. Allison was a bitch to people i will not sugar coat that. I’m not sorry for using the tough love method seeing what she was becoming under Raniere’s control. The last time i saw her inperson. I don’t hate Allison unlike alot of people do. They’re worst people than Allison in the world she alone will have to live with what she did for the rest of her life. Ill always consider Chloe Sullivan my most favorite n Smallville. but Allison.....Well thats another issue although i don’t hate Allison as not many brought out the passion in me to be better. I can walk on, to start living in the here and now.
But.....Ill say this that not many will like but deal with it.
But thats how i feel. I asked myself for the past four years was it Allison or Chloe that brought that deep depression i felt all these 14 years in my life? The answer was both did in their own way. I choose not to have a deep grudge on Allison Mack she has enough people having that. The advice i got from Allison although i don’t know if she’ll ever take hers is to not focus on what other people think of me is to my thing. It’s what ill continue to do not giving a fuck or seeking anyone’s approval of anything. I’m just going to be me, thats all i can truly be not someone that i’m not.....I’ve never been a fake person, hell thats one of the reasons why i don’t like people too much due to some of them being so phony. I’m not her hope, she isnt mine neither as i can be my own hope. I hope she can find hers or she won’t make it in a life away from the cult. I’m thankful she was nice enough to sign my Batfleck t-shirt with a note and cut her autograph price 10% off on her, It suprised me but i was greatful of it. I wasnt honestly expecting but yeah many will say well of course she don’t have that many fans because what she did, blah, blah, but i honestly like to believe she doesn’t do that to alot of people but i got in the mail during the private signing three months ago. And no, the note she left me is between me and her, nothing biggie but i prefer that part be kept in private.
I wish her the best. Will i ever see her again? who knows what the future holds but i’d take seeing her over a few people including that asshole JDF except my fist hitting his jaw Batman style for hurting and slandering me, he hurt people who were my friends and among other things. Allison on the other hand i love and respect. I was angry at her for four years for what she did but now. It’s time to just move on from it and her for the best. I don’t want to carry her weight upon my shoulders just loosen the fat and be free from it. I don’t want to fight Allison but i would fight JDF in a heartbeat no questions asked. I can give a shit how many black belts he has fuck them, fuck his martial arts, fuck his hypocrisy bullshit code of the arts. He’s no different than the monsters he made go boom in Power Rangers. He had nothing to do with my development as the new me that i am now. In my eyes he’s a punk with ego.
I believe Allison can get her life back on track, anything I’ve learned reading comics including Batman that some people can be redeemed. I normally don’t have faith in alot of people but Allison. I do more ways than anyone will ever know. Even if she’s a pain in the ass to deal with at times. I don’t regret meeting her inperson the first two times. The last two on the other hand when she wasn’t all there not the best in company. But when i first met her she was full of life and energy. I enjoyed her hugs so much, she was great to talk better than some of the women /celebrities that i’ve met that bored me to tears. Maybe i am a fool, she maynot care if someone like me care’s for her or not, but those things don’t mean a damn to me. I like to believe that care for more than certain people in her life who care about is money. Not about lives or anything. I can go about life and be strong enough to deal with it. I got my life. She has hers. In a strange way i feel like ill always be linked to her in a strange way. Whatever we both like it or not, I can’t fight her battles even i wanted to she’s on her own. I believe she’ll do fine but i wish her nothing but the best.
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So, the "Justice League" finally got its own movie, eh? Oh, that thing from 2017 was just trash. It's gone. We don't need to look at it anymore.
But in all seriousness, it's great people called out for the Zack Snyder cut of the movie and actually got it! And, yes, it is a vast improvement over the Joss Whedon cut.
Now, my feelings about the DCEU have been pretty divided:
I actually did enjoy "Man of Steel" and found Superman to be relatable and likable for once (I'm not a Superman fan and don't come for me)
"Wonder Woman" was very entertaining and easily the best entry for me in the movie series so far.
"Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice" was a hot mess. Lots of good ideas but it was executed poorly. It felt kind of cheesy at times, especially that whole "Save Martha" thing. Jesse Eisenburg is not a convincing Lex Luthor. Ben Affleck is not a good actor and is a terrible Batman/Bruce Wayne. He's not as bad as George Clooney, but he's not much better either.
"Wonder Woman 1984" was a massive glow-down. Poor quality writing, Maxwell Lord was a weak villain, Cheetah was laughable, and the ending was so goddamn corny! Not to mention, it took ages for anything interesting to happen, and what was the deal with Steve Trevor possessing another dude's body? I mean...what?
Haven't seen "Suicide Squad" in its entirety but I do know and have seen enough to decide that it's a huge misstep. Haven't seen "Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)" either but I have some interest in it so perhaps someday.
Haven't watched "Aquaman" but probably will eventually but I'm just not very motivated to see it. I like Jason Mamoa as Aquaman/Arthur Curry, but...I don't know. The trailers didn't really grab my attention.
The 2017 Joss Whedon version of "Justice League" was terrible -- worse than "Batman v Superman," worse than "Wonder Woman 1984." I thought the movie moved too quickly, lacked proper character development, and had some bad CGI (I mean, Mustache Gate, am I right?)
Onto the Synder Cut for "Justice League!" Spoilers ahead, of course:
These are really a collection of thoughts, opinions, and observations I had while watching the movie. I have only seen the 2017 film once and honestly don't want to watch it ever again, not even to "refresh my memory" of some details.
Steppenwolf
Steppenwolf was such a pitiful villain in the Whedon Cut. The CGI for him was terrible, and he looked like some weird dude in armor. His personality and motives were paper thin as well. He was a throw-away, token villain, and the only things memorable about him was his name and voice.
In the Snyder Cut, not only was Steppenwolf's CGI much more refined, his character design was imposing. His armor seemed to be alive, too, always shifting slightly, this way and that, which was an impressive sight. His motives, while nothing too deep or extraordinary, gave him a little more depth: he pissed off Darkseid and had to make up for it, and was clearly afraid of what could happen to him if he failed.
The name and voice obviously were still memorable but combined with the other improvements to his character, they were icing on the cake.
That being said, I don't think Steppenwolf is as intriguing or even remotely sympathetic as Loki and Thanos in the MCU.
Darkseid
Was Darkseid even mentioned in the Whedon cut? I can't remember and I don't want to watch that shitty movie again just to find out. However, I don't recall Darkseid making an appearance or even being spoken of in the 2017 version. Now, I haven't read DC (or Marvel) comics, so I don't know a lot about the guy, but he is supposedly one of the more iconic villains.
His motives are pretty simple, though: command and conquer. There isn't a lot of depth so far in the movies but he does pose a much larger threat than Steppenwolf did. You could tell Steppenwolf was intimidated by Darkseid, who was about as cold and menacing as they come. He's a complete villain in that regard, having no emotions and only seeking power for himself.
He looked great in the Snyder Cut. He was actually really fucking scary-looking. He made the beefcake Steppenwolf look like a puppy.
I'm glad that Darkseid made an appearance, even if he didn't fight the Justice League. It alludes to a much broader story, as well as foreshadows an epic boss fight down the line -- assuming the Snyder Cut is popular enough to convince the studios to make a direct sequel and not just abandon things in favor of some sort of soft reboot.
Superman/Clark Kent/Henry Cavill/Mustache Gate
Let's get this out of the way: Henry Cavill is hot af.
Ok, now that we got that out of the way, hooray for Snyder for getting rid of those nasty reshoot scenes involving Henry's CGI'd mouth! Can't say I missed them, you know? I mean, in the 2017 Whedon Cut, you could always spot reshoot scenes based on whether or not Henry's mouth looked normal and totally strange.
I think the 2017 movie had Superman grab Batman by the neck and ask, "Tell me: Do you bleed?" I'm relieved that was removed from the Synder Cut because it added too much of an evil tone to Superman, and we could clearly tell he was most upset with Batman upon being revived.
One massive problem with the 2017 movie was that it made every member of the Justice League look like bumbling idiots without Superman's help. It was downright embarrassing and unrealistic. I mean, you're telling me that Wonder Woman, a goddess, can't take on Steppenwolf? Or Victor Stone, a cyborg with incredible abilities? Making Superman key to winning isn't the problem, it's how it was done in the 2017 movie. He's already OP but that shouldn't mean his comrades have to be useless in comparison.
Superman was allowed to be OP in the Snyder Cut without making his team look incompetent. Like in the Avengers movies, everyone in the Justice League had a purpose and all of them worked together to defeat Steppenwolf. Superman obviously was key to winning, but, again, it wasn't like he was the only capable one during the battle.
I did like the black suit. It's kind of ominous but also very cool at the same time. But is it also foreshadowing something? I don't know...I haven't read the comics so I really don't have any idea lol.
Batman/Bruce Wayne/Batfleck
One glaring issue I still have is Ben Affleck is a mediocre actor at best and he's a terrible Bruce Wayne/Batman. I mean, they couldn't have found anyone else? Someone with, like, good acting abilities?
Martian Manhunter
This whole time -- THIS WHOLE GOTDAMM TIME -- Martian Manhunter was hiding in plain sight! General Swanwick, who I remember from "Man of Steel," IS Martian Manhunter. I didn't see that coming. I mean, I knew Martian Manhunter would appear in the Snyder Cut but I didn't know he'd have an alternate identity, let alone that of an existing character in the DCEU.
As much as I did like seeing him, I am glad he didn't play a big part because the movie already has plenty of characters as is, and introducing yet another one could have slowed things down and taken away from developing the plot.
The Runtime/Pacing
I mentioned already that the Whedon Cut felt rushed and needed much more time to develop its characters and plot. While I had doubts about whether or not making "Justice League" four hours long would be a good idea, it turns out that it was just what the story needed.
Character development was actually existent, and Cyborg/Victor Stone received a detailed backstory, and Flash/Barry Allen got some extra tidbits added to his character's story/background as well.
I actually thought Victor was a fascinating (if a bit tragic) character in the Whedon cut and was disappointed that he just sort of, like, popped up and fought alongside the other Justice League members with the tiniest amount of depth.
Despite an epic 4-hour runtime, it didn't feel slow, nor did it feel like any scenes were "filler." Every scene had a purpose and kept the story moving at a steady, comprehensible pace. It felt more like a 2.5-3 hour movie, honestly, which is a feat since pacing can often be one of a film's biggest issues ("Avengers: Endgame" also accomplished this feat with its 3-hour runtime feeling more like 2-2.5 hours but with no negative side effects of that). Breaking the movie into chapters, including an epilogue was a tad strange because it's not a very common thing, but I think it helped break up the epic 4 hours into separate, manageable but still cohesive pieces. Also, they helped easily transition from one portion to the next smoothly without any awkward cuts.
The Flash/Barry Allen/Ezra Miller
Barry still amused me in the Whedon Cut. He brought some good-natured humor and charm to the movie, preventing it from being too brooding and intense.
I think Ezra is a talented actor and does well in the Barry Allen role but he is, unfortunately, a problematic person. I mean, if he gets recast, he gets recast but hopefully, they pick someone else who has some acting abilities worth noting (i.e. Not a Ben Affleck type of actor)
The Final Battle
It was a huge improvement over the 2017 cut, as everyone was key to winning the final battle, not just Superman. It is meant to be a team of costumed heroes defeating a villain, not just one OP member of the team outdoing everyone else.
That being said, I felt that the final battle was a little bit anti-climatic. I don't know what it was but I just thought that it would be longer? I expected more to happen? More fighting? Not sure how to describe it, but I do feel like it wasn't as impressive as it could have been.
The Epilogue
A dystopian future involving an evil Superman and Joker somehow working WITH Batman was just...crazy. I mean, evil Superman, I can believe, but Joker and Batman working together (even reluctantly) is quite a sight.
Based on what I've been reading, this nightmare Bruce has could be setting up not one but two sequels for "Justice League." I would like to see how things will play out even if things get kind of dark. I'm getting the impression that Darkseid will kill Lois Lane, thus breaking Superman emotionally and making him compliant. That is unless Bruce intervenes in this timeline and prevents that from happening...but at the expense of his own life. Oh dear...
I definitely enjoyed the Zack Snyder version of "Justice League," and would definitely watch it again and again and again. I already have forgotten the majority of the Whedon Cut, and after seeing Synder's version, I think the 2017 movie will be rendered null and void. I hope it is just expelled from the DCEU canon entirely. That, and we get the "Justice League" sequels, preferably from Zack Snyder (Say what you want but I think he is a pretty good director for the most part and seems to really care about this work).
I honestly want to see a fight between the Justice League and Darkseid because I think that's what we're trying to build up to, and seeing as how Darkseid is one of the legendary villains in the DC comics, I would be extremely disappointed if this doesn't come to pass.
Also, as much as I like Batman/Bruce Wayne, seeing him sacrifice himself to save the team, including Lois and thus Superman's sanity, would be something else. It would bring everyone even closer together, for one, and I think that the negativity shared between Batman and Superman in the past would be completely forgiven. I'm not saying there isn't forgiveness now, but dying to save Superman's wife would change everything....if that makes sense? Does it make sense? I'm terrible at explaining my thoughts sometimes.
#justice league#zack snyder#dceu#snyder cut#zack snyder's justice league#superman#wonder woman#the flash#cyborg#martian manhunter#darkseid#steppenwolf#batman#barry allen#bruce wayne#diana prince#victor stone#aquaman#arthur curry
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They're sort of a fandom but Batfam!
thanks guys!!! this got so long omg, I’m so sorry dsjkfhdskajh
my favorite female character: CASSANDRA MFING CAIN. She is simultaneously one of the most badass characters I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing about, while also being just……….so adorable. Like, I love that she can be the scariest and most competent Bat (she is absolutely 100000% the next Batman I do not take criticism) but also, she’s such a sweetheart. She really loves people (Steph and Duke especially so), she’s an amazing friend and sister, and she is just so authentically herself and does what she wants when she wants, and she works so hard for everything, and I just. Oh my god I love her so much.
my favorite male character: this is so difficult but I have to say Dick Grayson. I Must. He’s basically what started all of this!!! I mean yeah okay Bruce was first, but Robin/Dick is what made Batman interesting and was the first member of the batfam, the one that made it a real family. In addition to that, Dick is just??? So interesting?????? He was the first kid sidekick, he lead the Teen Titans teams, he’s always kind of existed in this place of being the lighthearted one with the Batfam, but the serious one in most other contexts. HE REBELLED FIRST. Nightwing is a fuck you to his dad!!!! I love that! Plus he’s beautiful and has some of the best love interests (I’m talking about Kory and Roy here folks). He’s imperfect and has such depth and I love him kdsjfhjkdshfah
my favorite book/season/etc: I actually really like all the stuff that comes after Bruce “dies”? Seeing them all struggle and fight with each other and everything is really interesting. I love Tim here especially, just bc he’s so fucked up and such a teenager. When characters seem to be having two totally different conversations are SO INTERESTING and that’s what was kind of happening here with Tim and Dick – Tim feels betrayed and hurt, Dick feels stressed and like Tim is ready to move on. And Damian is just an adorable little asshole ksdjfshkjhakjh
my favorite episode (if its a tv show) issue: look I’m a sucker for Dick & Jason feels and I really enjoyed their moments (however few there are) in NTT/Tales of The Teen Titans/etc. They’re pretty small but so cute – it’s really nice to see them trying to figure out how to be brothers!!
my favorite cast member: David Mazouz!!!! Perfect perfect perfect Bruce. I also did like Batfleck, more for the look of exhausted 40 year old man than the story/characterization, but David takes the cake. He does all the different facets of Bruce – traumatized child, obsessive teenager, Brucie the party animal, etc – so well, PLUS THEY HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY. It’s meant to be yall
my favorite ship: most of my Batfam ships are one batfam member/one non member (like Dickkory/Dickroy, Dinahbabs, Timkon, etc). the only one fully in the fam would be Bruce/Talia. When written correctly, they are so sweet and so tragic. The star crossed lovers trope has never looked so good as it does when its them.
a character I’d die defending: Damian!!!! Admittedly I do get annoyed by him,,,, a lot,,,,,, but really. He’s a child who’s been abused and manipulated and lied to. He was raised in such a dangerous, traumatic environment, and I fucking hate when people act like he’s always going to be the annoying, murderous brat he was when he was first taken away from that environment. He has to heal, and he IS healing. He loves animals so much, he learns to love Dick (and at least get along with the others), he makes friends, he doesn’t kill anymore. He is doing better. There’s no fucking way he ends up as cruel and cold-hearted as some people insist he will. If you don’t like him, just shut the fuck up
a character I just can’t sympathize with: Babs. It’s not that I can’t sympathize with her, it’s more that I just don’t like her lol. I find Batgirl!Babs really boring and regressive for literally everyone involved. The way Babs became Oracle was gross but it gave her such GROWTH and she got to be her own character as Oracle (and also tell people off for pitying her bc she’s in a wheelchair). Batgirl was passed on to Cass, who is both Asian and disabled rep, then to Steph, in a way that was much healthier for the Batgirls than how Robin was passed down. Babs being Oracle gives even more rep to disabled children/girls in wheelchairs, and she isn’t stuck in Gotham! She isn’t part of the Batfam, she’s a Bird of Prey!!!! So much more interesting!!!! Plus D*ckB*bs is boring as fuck and does a disservice to both of them. Let them grow and be their own people and stop making me see Batgirl!Babs alongside Robin!Damian. DC, that’s illegal!!!
a character I grew to love: Talia. I was sadly infected with the Grant Morrison bullshit when I first joined the fandom and I hated Talia. But I’ve read more comics and metas about her and I just. I LOVE HER. She is such a badass and I find her motives (when well written) to be really interesting!!! She’s loyal to her dad but wants the best for Damian, and does have genuine affection for Bruce and Jason. She’s not the heartless woman some people/writers make her out to be, she has compassion and drive. She doesn’t care what people think about her. I want to marry her sdkjhfjksah
my anti otp: Jason/Roy. In any context other than RHaTO, it makes no sense and does a disservice to both characters. Jason and Roy would not want to be together in most reboots of DC, because of the connection with Dick. Would you want to date your asshole older brother’s ex/best friend? Would you want to date your ex/best friend’s little brother? Would you like to date a man with that history who is also struggling with severe trauma/addiction issues (respectively) and doesn’t get help for it because of bad writing? Imagine Roy looking Dick in the face and saying “yeah, I’m fucking your little brother, who I sort of knew as a pre-teen”. In RHaTO, this is mostly fine bc Roy and Dick have no relationship at all, and Jason needs someone to take care of, and Roy is so incompetent that he fits that bill. But ANYWAYYYYY point is, I refuse to read fics with this ship in it thank you goodnight
send me a show/movie/fandom and I’ll answer these questions!!
#i am SO SORRY i cant believe how much i rambled#long post#ask games#batfam#i barely talked about duke and bruce. didn't mention alfred. didn't mention kate. ksdjhfkjsadh#there are too many damn ppl in this family#Anonymous#anti jayroy#anti babs gordon#whoops forgot to tag that#sorry :(
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no one will ever capture the Sugar Daddy aspect of Bruce Wayne the way Batfleck did
This ask gave me a good laugh amid the somber feelings but isn’t that the fucking truth
#he looks so suave and like he needs a nap#zack's casting is impeccable and I'm sorry it took me so long to see the light#ask#Anonymous
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[Suicide Squad] Trying
You forget one anniversary and suddenly you're promising all kinds of things to make it up to a guy...
Something I've had kicking around for...tttttwo years now? Before the Snydercut was released, anyhow, and before we had any trailers for The Suicide Squad. Prequel piece to Letters From the Tower.
Universe: Suicide Squad (2016), with a little BvS.
Warnings: themes of mild violence, themes of mental illness, hints of a Daddy/princess relationship (more like a Daddy/brat relationship, if we're being honest), rather bad language, canon divergence with oblique spoilers for Birds of Prey, not compliant with The Suicide Squad (2021).
Pairing: established Batjokes (Batman/Joker); specifically Leto!Joker and Batfleck.
Notes: See postscript.
Trying
Joker sipped his bourbon and tried to focus on the girl auditioning.
I’ve got you
Under my skin
She had a less loungey vibe than he’d ever heard from somebody trying that one. More croony, more soulful…kind of Ella with a little Judy.
He didn’t hate it, and he wasn’t bored by it. He was just…distracted.
Harley was
gone
.
She hadn’t understood the way he’d thought she did.
(the way she’d claimed she did)
Wasn’t the confidante he’d yearned for and believed he’d found.
She wanted things he couldn’t
wouldn’t give.
She wanted to do the one thing he considered unforgiveable: come between him and his Bat.
But he’d liked her—still did—and he wouldn’t kill her. She wouldn’t learn a lesson if he killed her. Cutting her loose had worked out all right; she’d handled her shit and even managed to set half of Amusement Mile on fire. Good for her.
Don’t you know, little fool
You never can win
It wasn’t the singer’s fault the choice of song struck a little too deep in his maudlin frame of mind, so he stifled the urge to shoot her. She was good. She’d be a canny investment. He wanted his dinner crowd to be more staid (and proportionately more corrupt and filthy rich) than his midnight crowd, and a singer like her should draw the right attention. That snob Cobblepot didn’t have a fucking monopoly on black tie clubs, even with Harley taking out Sionis…
He stopped her with a cutting motion at neck-height.
She looked worried.
“Sing something newer,” he said. “But in the same style.”
“S-something newer, Mister Joker?” she stammered, big black lashes fluttering.
He was getting a headache. “Something poppy, something that’s usually cheerful and fast. But do what you just did with Sinatra.”
She looked thoughtful for just a moment, then determined.
I had a dream, or was it real
We crossed the line and it was on
Holy shit, the girl could croon Carly Rae. Solid fucking gold. “Perfect, you’re hired.”
“Th-thank you, sir!” she said.
So polite! He really didn’t hate her. “What’s your name, kid?”
“Gwendolyn Malone, but my mom always called me Queenie.”
Ah, what a great stage name! He could see it now… Come see Queenie Malone, live at the Jokers Wild…
Yeah, fuck the fucking Iceberg Lounge. He’d drive that shrinky-dink gun-running bastard out of business. Hell, out of town. He’d send the Penguin waddling off to Blüdhaven as fast as his stubby legs could carry him.
He snapped his fingers and called for Jonny.
“Uh, it’s Mike, actually…Jonny’s dead, remember?”
Joker stared at the guy. Okay, yeah, not Jonny. But no, he didn’t really remember Jonny being dead. Was that new? “Huh,” he said. “Not-Jonny, pay Miss Queenie for the evening and set her up a dressing room. Queenie, do you know anything by the Ink Spots?”
She gave a sweet little smile and happily piped up,
I don’t want to set the world on fire
I just want to start a flame in your heart
“Beautiful,” he mumbled, closing his eyes and resting the chilled highball against his aching brow.
In my heart I have but one desire
And that one is you, no other will do
There was a sudden commotion near the door, a brief sound of someone getting his ass handed to him in a fistfight…
“B-Boss?” Louie squeaked.
Queenie stopped singing.
Joker opened his eyes to see Batman standing across the table from him. He set his glass down. “Not tonight, darling. I’ve got a headache.”
“I just want to talk,” the Bat said. “Privately. I can leave the toys behind, if it’ll make your men less jumpy.”
Joker groaned. “No, don’t bother about them. They know better—or they should. Queenie, sweetheart, don’t mind us. Your first shift is tonight until nine. Thursday through Saturday, dinner. Sunday and Monday, lunch. Pay is twice whatever Cobblepot offered, with the understanding that I don’t tolerate being cheated on.”
“No, sir, thank you, sir,” she said, all dimples and curls.
There was an urge, just briefly, to stab her right through one of those pretty little dimples… He blinked hard and it was gone. He got up and headed for his office, knowing Batman would follow.
With the door closed and locked, Joker made for the scotch on the sideboard.
“No more alcohol. Sit down.”
Joker defiantly filled a fresh glass while making heavy eye contact.
The Bat gave him a warning growl. “Don’t make me take you over my knee. Do as you’re told.”
He smirked, but obeyed. “Yes, Daddy.”
The answering sneer was almost palpable—his Batsy liked the dynamic, hated the names that went with it.
It’s not the same as a daddy kink, he’d had to explain. It’s not about sex. It’s not some latent incest fantasy. It’s about authority, responsibility, setting boundaries for me because I’m shit at doing it for myself.
The glass was dumped at the little sink next to the drinks, rinsed and refilled with tapwater. It was placed in the middle of his desk with four big pills.
“You know I hate pills,” he remarked.
“Ibuprofen, for your headache. If you take it, they won’t dose you with anything for the first twenty-four hours after I take you to Arkham.”
Joker snarled, fists clenching. “I told you, I don’t like it there.”
“I told you last week—you’re getting unstable again. Without Jonny and Harley around to even you out—”
Joker grabbed a paperweight and threw it.
Batman dodged effortlessly. “I rest my case.”
“They’re not gonna ‘cure’ me,” Joker muttered. “They never can. Each time, it’s a new doctor, a new diagnosis, new therapy, new pills. Each time, they ask for shit I can’t remember until the blanks are bigger than the fucking room and I just—” He slammed his fists on the desk, making the pills jump and the water ripple.
“Jay.”
He stopped, took a breath, looked up.
“The last time you got like this, you murdered a bus full of hostages and tortured Robin to death on camera.”
He clutched his right bicep, where stark ink sat in reminder. Harley had thought it was narcissistic bragging, but it was a reprimand to himself. “That was ages ago, why are you still mad?”
“He’s still dead.”
Fair point. “He was an asshole, anyway, so it’s not like—”
“You remember what happened after?”
How could he ever forget? His Batsy had been
so angry
a thing of pure rage. The fight had been brutal, and so one-sided that Joker had been embarrassed he’d ever thought he could really go toe-to-toe with the man physically. There was a pinprick scar over his left carotid artery where a batarang had been seconds from bleeding him out and ending their little game. I didn’t mean to take it so far had been what saved him, mumbled through a mouth full of blood. Not because he cared if he died (no, that would be the ultimate end of them, getting his beloved to break that one rule, just for little ol’ him), but because he hadn’t wanted Bats to think he’d done it to hurt him (it was supposed to be a teaching moment, a lesson for the kid about sticking his nose where it didn’t belong).
“You ruined my smile,” he murmured, licking the metal that bridged gaps and covered broken teeth.
“I lost control, too,” Batman admitted. “And I apologized. And you decided that you needed two new tattoos to remind us both about the whole mess.”
“He butted in!” Joker protested, knowing he was being brattish. “And he was rude! Everyone in this damn city knows not to come between us. The mob knows it. The cops know it. The goddamn criminal cosplay club knows it. He wasn’t even supposed to be there—the ransom note for the little kiddies clearly said, ‘Come find me, Batsy.’” He huffed for a moment, feeling scolded and hating it.
Batman sighed and pushed the water forward. “You really want to keep doing the same thing over and over? Commit absurd crimes; get your ass kicked; get thrown into Arkham where you play games instead of rehabilitating; break, buy, or coerce your way out to do it all again? How long have we been doing this silly dance?”
When the pause drew out, Joker decided it wasn’t rhetorical. “Nineteen years, eleven months, thirty days, and two hours. Or so.”
Their anniversary. Twenty years since he was made and fell in love. One year since they tumbled blindly into a proper romance.
He suddenly felt sad and guilty. “I forgot. I’m sorry. I didn’t make any plans. Didn’t get you anything.”
“So make it up to me. This year, for our anniversary, when I take you to Arkham, I want you to make a serious effort. At least work on the manic episodes or the obsessive rage.”
Joker pouted. “It’s not as fun being your boyfriend as it was being your best enemy.”
“The benefits are better, though.”
He downed the pills and water. “Are they? I haven’t seen any today.”
Strong hands hoisted him up out of his chair by the wrists. They could just hear Queenie downstairs, singing some Edith Piaf while Not-Jonny’s little friend’s jazz band backed her up. So he nestled there, head on his darling’s shoulder, hands held, swaying slowly to the daydream of life in rosy hues.
He drifted,
floated,
fell away from himself into that beautiful, comfortable un-self the doctors at Arkham always chided him over. Dissociation as a symptom indicated an unresolved trauma, whether emotional or physical. But he enjoyed it most of the time…it was less compelling, less confusing…almost restful. He didn’t like the times when he blacked out, but those were happening less and less. Was it being away from Arkham? Or being with his Bat?
They stopped dancing at some point.
“I love you,” was whispered against his hair, like a secret just for them. “You make me more than myself, and I hope I give even a fraction of that back to you. But I can’t forgive what you did last time you lost control, and I know you can’t forgive what I did after…and I don’t want us to become a string of things neither of us can forgive. I need you to promise you’ll stay at Arkham and actively try. I need you to promise you’re done killing.”
He pouted, and he wept without really knowing why. But he nodded. “I’ll be good. I’ll stay at Arkham, and I won’t kill anybody. Cross my heart.” He slipped his hand from Batman’s grip to draw an X over the left side of his chest.
He got a kiss as a reward, slow and sweet and just a little bit wet.
“I love you,” he admitted, and it scared him almost as much as the beautiful rage-thing Batman had become after poor Jason. “I didn’t mean to kill him.”
“You shot him. And you dumped the body with a nasty message painted on him.”
“I thought you sent him, that you were making fun of me. The plan was to let him go. But then he was dead, and I didn’t understand why until I watched the tape. He tried to spoil the game, and I got so mad.”
Batman looked at him in silence for a moment, then pressed a little kiss on his star tattoo. “I believe you.”
“Happy anniversary?”
“Happy anniversary, princess. Let’s go.”
They walked downstairs together, a hand just barely touching the small of his back, the kind of proprietary gesture he’d been unsuccessfully demanding (begging for) for the entire year that they’d been something more affectionate than nemeses.
“I’m gonna be gone for a while this time,” Joker told Not-Jonny. “Just, uh…keep working on Cobblepot. I think Queenie’s really gonna give us an edge there.” He tried to think of something else to say, just to stall.
“I’ll, uh…take care of it,” Not-Jonny replied, looking bewildered.
“And don’t take any shit from the Maroni kid. Remind him about all the fun we had at the Bonus Brothers Carnival.”
“Stop dawdling, Jay,” Batman said, pressing forward.
“Okay, okay! So pushy…can I at least get a decent meal first? You know they keep me tube-fed to make sure I can’t skip my meds.”
The pause told him no, Bats hadn’t known that. “How about steak, then?”
Joker grinned. “You’re buying.”
“You’re the one who forgot our anniversary.”
“Seriously gonna hold that against me… Fine, I’ll buy. New guy—Jimmy-Jenny-Jeremy-whatever—get my coat and hat.”
The new guy standing to the left of Not-Jonny looked confused. “Ain’t you gonna…”
“Gonna what, Jammy? I forgot our China anniversary, so now I’m shelling out for a steak dinner before getting dropped off at Arkham. I wanna at least look nice. So go get the crocodile trench and the green trilby.”
Jerry-or-whatever still hesitated.
“Jesus, I gotta do everything myself? Fuck.”
He shot the new guy in the knee.
“Jay,” Batman chided (over the sound of pained screaming).
He spread his arms innocently. “Whaaaat? He’ll live. Maybe. I leave that up to—Mark-Mack-Mick—Not-Jonny’s discretion. Anyway, he’s learned a valuable lesson.”
Not-Jonny made a face and said, “It’s—you know, never mind. Sure, Not-Jonny, that’s me.”
“After you, sweetie,” Joker tried, and got shoved bodily out the door.
In the car, Joker got his fingers swatted away from the buttons when he tried to reach for the radio.
Right, uncomfortable silence, his Batsy’s favorite sound.
“You were there when I…was made,” he said (because he hated silence on general principle and he was his own favorite topic of conversation). “Do you know…”
Batman didn’t even glance away from the road. “Who you used to be? Yes. I’d only been Batman for just over a year at the time, so it sort of stuck with me.”
“That’s not why you…” He frowned.
He didn’t want to ask,
didn’t want to know.
He didn’t want his beloved to be like Harley, hoarding little tabloid photos and practicing her signature with some boring stranger’s last name.
“I don’t think so…” Batman said contemplatively. “Maybe a little? You’re not…the same. His name was Jack, and he was dating Bruce Wayne. He was an anxious person, as a rule. Not a diva like you.”
“Sounds boring.”
“By comparison, definitely. But if you’re looking for ‘normal,’ he seemed nice enough. He was funny.”
“You’re not looking for ‘normal,’” Joker said with a confidence he didn’t really feel.
“I used to think I was. I’m not looking for much of anything now.”
Joker wasn’t sure what to think of that. “Yeah?”
“Well, I’ve got you. Why keep looking?”
Flatterer.
Mollified, Joker sank into the thick leather cushions of the passenger seat. “Harley was looking for normal. She said she wasn’t…chased after me even when I told her I wasn’t what she thought I was. Not some charity case waiting for the power of love to magically transform me into some average nine-to-fiver. Not some bad-boy thrill-seeker who just needed the right woman to Hallmark me into boring obscurity. She wanted to fix me, get married, have kids, live in a little house in the suburbs… What if I try, and Arkham still can’t fix me?”
“You didn’t promise to succeed; you promised to try. That’s what matters.”
“Is it?” he challenged.
“Yes,” Batman said firmly.
He wept some more, both because trying was a new and uncomfortable idea and because he felt…seen. Like his Bats could look at him and know what he was feeling, and why, and what had molded those feelings. There was power in the ability to accept, and it was terrifying to finally be at the mercy of that power.
Because his Batsy knew—knew he was damaged, knew he couldn’t remember shit from Before, knew he sometimes couldn’t remember shit even now, knew he got urges and felt unfairly judged and felt betrayed for no reason, knew he liked the feel of flesh under his knives, knew he thought violence was fun and funny.
Twenty years of blood between them. Innocents, and cops, and would-be heroes. Seasoned criminals, and up-and-coming goons, and little boys in over their heads. Anything and everything to get his soulmate’s personal attention.
He knew all that, and he didn’t blind himself to it or look away from it, and he still meant it when he said ‘I love you.’
“Do you want to finish crying in here, or in the restaurant?” Batman offered sweetly.
“I’m done,” he said with a sniffle. “How do I look? Did I smudge anything?”
“You’re gorgeous. I told you the waterproof eyeliner was a good investment.”
“You did,” he admitted. He couldn’t find a lipstick, and he hadn’t been wearing any at the club. All his pockets came up empty…just seven cents, a stick of gum, and a flame-less lighter.
Batman held up a familiar black tube. “I know you’ve been wearing the one-ten lately, but you left the three-fifty-seven in the car the last time we…” He didn’t clear his throat or cough, but Joker could sense his embarrassment all the same.
“It’s my favorite,” Joker confided, taking it back and swiping it on with practiced motions—conseratively, tonight, not exaggerated. He wanted to be pretty, not frightening. He could be both, when he wanted, but…not tonight. “I like the way it looks on your cock.”
“I noticed.”
They got themselves a table (who would tell them no?), and ate lavishly, and he tipped lavishly, which probably went a long way to forgiving the sin of being such a generally infamous human wrecking ball in a place with so many expensive breakables. The steak was exquisite, and afterward he managed to talk his way into anniversary sex, which was nice.
And then Cinderella’s coach turned into a pumpkin.
“He’s had twenty-four-hundred milligrams of Ibuprofen in the last six hours,” Batman informed the orderly filling out the paperwork.
They got a raised eyebrow for that. “Low dosage, for him. Why bother?”
“Why’d your mother bother?” Joker snorted.
Batman flicked him on the ear like a naughty cat. “He’ll behave this time around,” he promised the Arkham guards as they stripped everything into a labeled trunk. “Be gentle but firm. If he talks back, put him in the jacket. If he steps out of line, call me.”
“This ain’t a boarding school,” one of the guards sassed, frowning at the guns and knives.
“You’re right. I wouldn’t break just the arms of a boarding school staff member who was mistreating the students. No bullying, no cruelty or torture. If you see any of that sort of misconduct toward any of the patients, report it immediately. If it happens and you don’t report it, I won’t be happy when I find out—and I will find out.”
Joker grinned. “That’s right, boys, no more hanky panky when I drop the soap. Daddy likes his princess fresh and pretty. Ooh, speaking of, I got a creamy surprise for whoever does my cavity search…kidding, of course, we almost always practice safe-ish sex. You ever tried to get semen stains out of silk-blend?”
“Shut the hell up,” Batman said with a long-suffering sigh.
“Happy anniversary, sweetie!” Joker called as the guards stuffed him into a set of Arkham scrubs and cuffed him for the walk to his cell. He held up his bound hands in a heart-shape. “You complete me!”
“For fuck’s sake,” he heard the man grumble (but he also heard a note of fondness under that growly vocal scrambler).
“Try not to make a nuisance of yourself, for once,” muttered one of the guards, dragging him toward the Intensive Treatment wing.
Yeah. Trying. He could do that.
.End.
Notes:
1. The spacing/formatting here is intentionally fragmented.
2. My headcanon is that Joker wears Chanel Rouge Allure Velvets; I don't think you can even get the full shade range anymore, but #110 Impressive is a slightly darker, daring red and #357 Camelia Rouge is a bright, classic red.
3. Again, that exploration of the idea of a Jason who—rather than being angry and looking for an outlet—is hungry to prove himself, and so he bites off more than he can chew and ends up dead.
#batjokes#gratuitous use of whitespace#tw: mental illness#but i mean it's joker what were you expecting#suicide squad#CANON DIVERGENCE#universe alteration#fanfic
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In Shining Armor
A/N: So I was gonna write this for my friend a while ago and I never did but ideas for it came in my brain today so yay! Also, this is probably really bad but there’s supposed to be more action in the future so bear with me. I LOVE BATFLECK! This fic is 100% mine and written by me! I hope there aren’t too many mistakes, enjoy:)
Pairing: Bruce Wayne X Reader
Warnings: Mentions of rape, near-rape experience, swearing
Word Count: 2,075
Chapter One:
Why did you agree to work so late anyway? Sure, it could have been because you seemed to be the only one here who actually cared about working hard or didn’t want to put too much work on other people. But, either way, you should have known better. It was almost 11 o’clock at night. And you had to walk home. By yourself. Which wouldn’t have been that bad, but you had to walk through a very unsafe part of the city to get there. In the daytime it wasn’t half bad and you would never be scared to walk home, but at night it was known for its disturbing increase in crime. You hated you had to walk home this late, but you had no choice. There were no taxis dumb enough to drive through that area at night, and you definitely didn’t want to go underground to catch a subway ride. Walking was the only option you had.
Hugging your jacket as close to you as you could, you started on the dreadful journey through the streets. You made sure to constantly check your surroundings, looking and listening for anything that could be dangerous. You tried to walk as quietly as you could, which proved to be a challenge in your heels that were obnoxiously loud against the concrete sidewalk. You slowed down for a second to check your phone when you heard a strange sound that seemed to be close by. You stopped walking completely and listened to what appeared to be the sound of laughter, slowly getting louder. You assumed to noise was coming from behind you and didn’t want to turn around to check and started to run around the corner. But you didn’t realize how fast you were running and ran right into a man who was with two other men. You looked to see that they were all holding bottles in brown paper bags and stumbling in their drunkenness. So they were the source of the noise. “Well well well, look at what we’ve got here boys!”, the man you ran into started to yell. They started to come closer and closer to you until you were backed up against the wall. You were trapped, and you’d never been this scared in your life. “Please don’t hurt me!”, you screamed out to them. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing to say, but you were so scared that the words just fell out. “Oh, we’re not gonna fucking hurt you, pretty girl. Don’t worry. We just wanna play with you a little bit”, one of the others said with a look that told you they had nothing but bad intentions. They kept getting closer and closer and then they started to touch you, trying to get under your clothes and ripping at them and pushing you around while laughing hysterically. You tried to scream for help and push their hands away, but they were too strong. One of the men got really close to your ear and whispered, “Relax pretty girl, this will be over soon. Even sooner if you stop fucking screaming”, kissing your cheek as he pulled away. All you could do was scream and cry, but no one seemed to hear you, which made you cry even harder. You knew what was about to happen and closed your eyes in defeat when suddenly, you couldn’t feel the strange men on you anymore.
You opened your eyes to see all of the men laying down on the ground, unconscious. You walked closer to one of the men and kicked him hard, but he didn’t budge. What the hell just happened? You turned around to come face to face with a man in a strange black suit and a mask. “You don’t have to worry anymore, they’re not going to hurt you”, he said in a deep, robotic voice, clearly disguising his natural one. Who was he? You were just about to ask him that when the recent events took a toll on your body and you passed out, the man in the mask catching you before you fell.
Moments later, you regained consciousness to see that you were in the man’s arms. He was carrying you bridal style, with your arms wrapped around his neck and his arms tightly holding you. But it was the strangest thing, because even after everything that just happened, you didn’t feel scared in this man’s arms at all. You actually felt safe, and you didn’t know why. Even though you didn’t know if this man was any different than the men who tried to attack you and you didn’t know who this man was at all, in that moment, you felt like you could trust him. You wanted to find out more about him, but your body betrayed you again as you fell asleep.
When you woke up this time, you saw that you were in an unfamiliar dark room. You moved around a bit and felt the soft, silk sheets on the bed you were laying on. You sat up and looked around the beautiful, spacious bedroom. This room alone was almost bigger than your entire apartment. ‘Wow, this person must be a billionaire’, you thought to yourself. ‘But most importantly, where the hell am I?’. You heard some murmuring coming from the room next to the one you were in. You couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, so you moved closer to the wall and placed your ear against it to hear better. “But you shouldn’t have brought her here! It’s too dangerous! What if she tells someone about this, huh? Are you sure she didn’t see you without the suit on?”, a man yelled to someone else. “Yes Alfred, I’m sure. I didn’t take off the suit until I brought her here, I’m not that stupid. I had to bring her here. I couldn’t leave her out in the street and I didn’t know where she lived!”, another man yelled. You weren’t sure if this was the man in the mask, since his voice was disguised before and it wasn’t now. But what he was saying made it seem like it could have been him. “Well you could have dropped her off at a hospital! Who knows, maybe she thinks you’re one of the men who tried to rape her! That would be a hell of a lot of trouble for you, Bruce! How do you know that she trusts you?”. “Because, Alfred, I could feel it. Somehow, I could feel that she trusted me!”. Well, that was definitely him alright, his name was Bruce.
You could hear Bruce walk away and towards the room that you were in, so you quickly stepped back from the wall and lay back down on the bed so he wouldn’t know you were eavesdropping. Just then, he walked into the pitch black room, most likely keeping it that way so you couldn’t see him. He slowly walked to the bed and sat down next to you , maintaining a distance so that you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. Even though you couldn’t see his face, you could feel his eyes staring into yours. “How are you feeling?”, his normal voice way more soothing and softer than his robotic voice. “Better. Thank you for saving me tonight, I owe you”. “No need, I’m just glad that you’re safe. You can stay until the morning and I’d be happy to take you home”. “No, you’ve already done enough for me. I don’t want to inconvenience you anymore than I already have. I am perfectly capable of going home and I’ll make sure I stay out of trouble this time. Again, thank you for everything”. You tried to get up, but he reached out his hand and pushed against your hip, restraining you to the bed. He was so strong, but still, his touch didn’t bother you. “I’m sorry, but I’m not letting you leave until the morning. It’s too dangerous for you to be in the streets this late at night, and I would be angry at myself if I were to let something else happen to you”. You could feel the eagerness in his hands and how much he didn’t want you to leave. You could feel how much he was concerned and wanted to protect you. “Okay, I’ll stay. But in the morning I’m getting home by myself”. You could tell that he still didn’t agree with that, but he didn’t want to argue. “Goodnight”, he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before getting up to leave, but my voice stopped him. “Wait! I know this may seem weird, but do you mind sleeping in here with me? I just don’t want to be alone”, which was mostly true. Although, you just really didn’t want to be away from him, he felt like your personal bodyguard and that nothing could happen when you were with him. Without a further word, he went around the room to slip into the bed beside you. The bed was big enough so you two didn’t have to be too close. ‘What a shame’, you blushed at your thoughts. The room was silent except for Bruce’s steady breathing and before you knew it, you were falling into another deep sleep.
“Well well well, look at what we’ve got here boys!”, the man you ran into started to yell. They started to come closer and closer to you until you were backed up against the wall. You were trapped, and you’d never been this scared in your life. “Please don’t hurt me!”, you screamed out to them. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing to say, but you were so scared that the words just fell out. “Oh, we’re not gonna fucking hurt you, pretty girl. Don’t worry. We just wanna play with you a little bit”...
You jolted awake to see Bruce sitting over you, shaking you from your bad dream. Once he saw you were awake, he started to rub his hand up and down your back, effectively calming you down. “Hey, are you okay?”, he asked you. “Yeah it was just a nightmare, sorry to wake you”, you sniffled as you wiped the tears from your face. “It’s okay, don’t worry, you’re safe”, he assured you. Without thinking, you turned to him and buried yourself in his chest. You didn’t mean to seem too attached, but you wanted to feel safe and secure. He rubbed his hands up and down your back, whispering those six words into your ear until you fell back asleep.
The next morning, you awoke to an empty bed and no sign of Bruce anywhere. You got out of the bed to walk around the house when an older man walked into the room. “Hello, I’m Alfred, the butler. Mr.- I mean the man who brought you here last night has asked me to see to it that you got home safely”, the man spoke. “Oh you don’t have to worry about it. I can get a taxi and get home myself, but thank you very much!”. You slipped on your heels and grabbed your purse before walking out of the door. You started down the long driveway when a black car pulled up beside you. You looked inside to see it was Alfred. “Please do me a favor and make this easier for the both of us by just getting in the car”. ‘Wow, he was sassy’. You decided not to be stubborn and got into the car, giving him your address.
20 minutes later, you arrived at your apartment and you made sure you gave Alfred a thank you before he left. But it wasn’t until when you got into your apartment that everything suddenly hit you. You were attacked and nearly raped, and then a man in a suit and a mask came and saved you, and then you stayed at his house and slept in the same bed as him. It was very confusing and all too much. But what was more confusing was your connection to this man. He didn’t even know your name and yet he even admitted to feeling the same connection you felt. You’ve never met or seen him before, yet you’d never felt as safe as you did when you were with him. And what was the most confusing thing was you felt that this wasn’t the last time you would meet him.
#C writes wonder-writes#bruce wayne#batman#batfleck#bruce wayne x reader#batman x reader#batfleck x reader#bruce wayne imagine#batman imagine#batfleck imagine#bruce wayne fanfiction#batman fanfiction#batfleck fanfiction#fics#fanfics#in shining armor#dc x reader#dc fanfiction#dc imagine
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i think it was mentioned that leto's joker has fucked up teeth because of the ass whooping batfleck gave him for killing jason but the no killing thing is p weird. unless jason's death was really recent and he just hasn't gotten around to killing him what with all the alien invasion stuff. and it /would/ kinda explain the 'he's been super mean lately" thing in bvs
LMAOOO YES THE FKING GRILLS THING i was literally JUST talking to my casual fan friends about that this week, & it like makes sense but it’s also ridiculously hilarious???? i just
It’s in the asylum where Joker would have done the ‘damaged’ tattoo as a message to Batman saying, “You’ve damaged me. I was so beautiful before and now you’ve destroyed my face.”
dkfjghkgjhgkjhg
yeah... i still am a bit ? about it
ok but more to the point, i think you’re right, i thiiiiink that’s what it is? the superman thing just pushing batfleck off the edge, or rather him being pushed off the edge with lex constantly prodding him w a stick provoking him to go and kill clark; i also think the fact that bruce doesn’t see him as human, therefore undeserving of mercy or w/e helps
#ask#asks#YOU'VE DAMAGED ME#I WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND NOW YOU'VE DESTROYED MY FACE#someone stop this#tofubatman
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Profiles in IMDb Greatness: Matt Ross
I love the Internet Movie Database. If I’m looking to Instagram stalk the pretty Italian lady from the second season of Master of None it’s a great outlet to find her real name. As such I enjoy looking over random performer pages and arbitrarily judging the scope and quality of their careers to determine if they merit entry into my vaguely defined IMDb Hall of Fame. Today’s enshrinee: Matt Ross
Fate and the Home Box Office television network conspired to serve up a perfect actor for inclusion in this hallowed Hall when as the fourth season of Silicon Valley was up and running while it seemed like American Psycho was on twice a day (and then like a month passed without my actually doing the post but it’s here now so leave me alone). Anyone who can both legitimately unnerve Patrick Bateman and make hostile corporate takeovers hilarious is working with a full deck as a performer.
First Listed Role: I already know this profile is going to be a winner since I’ve seen his first credited role, 1994′s PCU.
It’s been a great long while since I’ve seen PCU (so long ago that even with the picture I can’t remember what exactly Matt Ross did) but I recall it being entertaining enough while still thinking my buddies oversold the hell out of it. It’s a fun movie to look back on as a reminder that even with all the crybabies today annoyed they can no longer use racial slurs decrying political correctness is not a new phenomenon.
Also George Clinton rocks pretty hard in it if memory serves.
Most Recent Finished Work: The great Silicon Valley. That show sneaked up on me during the second season when I had a realization that I looked forward to it just about as much as any other show on TV and would regularly have your faithful writer laughing loudly like an idiot multiple times an episode.
On the show Ross has helped create one of the great villains of television Gavin Belson. Think a more insecure, outwardly evil Bill Gates whose tech giant company Hooli is a constant cloud over the doings of the show’s, for lack of a better word, heroes. A common trait with Ross’ best roles is being able to possess a certain oily sleaziness. Gavin Belson as CEO of a major corporation is more polished than the Alby Grants he’s portrayed but the running bit with animal props as board meetings is a perfect showcase for a hilarious lack of basic morality.
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CSI/Law & Order/NCIS Guest Spots: In furthering being the perfect IMDb HOF entrant Matt Ross has a double dip of CSIs (no Law & Order surprisingly, but he does do more film work than a lot of the others so less available time I’d imagine).
From CSI: Miami we have Silencer.
Horatio and his team investigate a double murder at a concert, but unraveling the mystery becomes difficult when leads take them in two directions: the Mala Noche gang, and a pharmaceutical company.
Difficult to say where Ross’ character Paul Burton falls into this mess but if I had to guess I’d wager he’s aligned with the pill pushers than the Mala Noche gang. Being a shady pharmacy lab tech feels just right for him. I just hope it was George Clinton concert that claimed those two souls as a bit of an Easter egg to Matt Ross’ early work.
And then there’s CSI: Original Recipe with Meat Jekyll. As first I got excited thinking Ross was playing a character named Meat Jekyll before realizing it was just the title of the episode. An even bigger disappointment is not using Ross’ aforementioned ability to play sinister to be the Hannical Lector of the episode.
The crime lab reluctantly brings in imprisoned serial killer Nate Haskell after he claims to know the identity of "Dr. Jeckyll." Meanwhile, clues revealing his next and perhaps final victim are mailed to Dr. Langston.
Instead they gave that *sunglasses* MEATY role *yeah* to That Guy who was in Eight Men Out as one of the few players who didn’t get kicked out of baseball. Can’t trust a man who won’t take a gambler’s money in this reporter’s opinion.
Hall of Fame Ballot Submissions: Twelve Monkeys (maybe my favorite treatment of time travel as a concept and how you wouldn’t be able to change anything since it’s already happened in the future), Face/Off (I only watched about 20 minutes of this and shut it off but it’s such a famous goodbad movie that I included it, just couldn’t buy in to Nic Cage’s skin fitting around Travolta’s giant head), Oz (this post’s winner of the biggest “Oh shit, really?” work, he was one of the guards killed in the riot), American Psycho, The Aviator, Good Night and Good Luck, Big Love, Silicon Valley.
Big Love was a bit of a stretch here since by the last couple seasons I was outwardly hating it but Ross’ Alby Grant is probaby still the role I most associate him with when he pops up elsewhere due to how devastatingly creepy he was. Also I included Big Love for Bill Paxton so in the name of consistency it’s here again, plus this adds to Ross being the king of HBO.
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The Aviator was another flick that HBO brought back into the rotation in the last few months that I hadn’t seen in forever and I’d forgotten he was in it. In a weird turn his character Odie is simply a competent airplane mechanic without any degenerate character tendencies, I’m sure it was his hardest role to pull off.
And what’s left to say about his turn in American Psycho, he’d know better than anyone that too much praise can be grating.
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Miscellaneous Credits: New rule, if you play Johnny Cash in something, it gets mentioned here like with Lifetime’s Ring of Fire.
Suppose you’d have to ask someone else why this was made when Walk The Line had come out eight years earlier but hey, if they can keep rebooting Spider-Man this century than certainly the Man in Black should be celebrated as often as possible.
Highest Rated IMDb Entry: Goddamn right, the Silicon Valley episode Optimal Tip-To-Tip Efficiency that pulled the whole first season together and hinted at the heights it could reach. 9.4 stars, this episode fucks. I love this one sentence from the episode description:
The guys break out into a ridiculous argument
Yes they did, IMDb plot recapper, yes they did.
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Lowest Rated IMDb Entry: I’m not about to go through every other post in this series to check but 5.4 for the worst (according to IMDb users) production one’s been in might be the new high water mark. Take a bow, A Deadly Vision. I’ll be keeping my eyes open to see if the Lifetime Movie Channel re-airs this.
A waitress who has psychic visions of murders before they happen is asked by a police detective to help find a serial killer.
Making this all the better? Matt Ross is indeed the killer and is billed simply as The Killer, just like with The Joker a menace can be more terrifying without any sort of tether to humanity. I’m now wondering to myself just how good Matt Ross could be as The Joker in something. Him and Ben Affleck are pretty much the same age so why not make him the Clown Prince of Evil for any standalone Batfleck film instead of Jared Leto’s ass. Just something to think about, Hollywood bigshots.
IMDb Fun Fact: Matt Ross is 6' 0½" tall.
I feel like I was pitching a perfect IMDb HOF post and then the Trivia section stepped to the plate and laid down a bunt that hugged the third base line of uninteresting tidbits of a great actor’s career. Shame.
IMDb HOF Members: Even though the ad wizards have decreed that only video is worthy of internet bandwidth it sure would be swell if the dear readers clicked back on any old posts they haven’t read yet and tell me how these used to be better before I became cynical and jaded beyond recognition.
Bob Balaban
Jim Beaver
Clancy Brown
W. Earl Brown
Reg E. Cathey
Gary Cole
Keith David
Cary Elwes
Noah Emmerich
Jami Gertz
John Hawkes
John Michael Higgins
Toby Huss
Allison Janney
John Carroll Lynch
Margo Martindale
David Morse
Joe Morton
Robert Patrick
Bill Paxton
Jon Polito
Alan Rickman
Stephen Root
Matt Ross
Alan Ruck
Peter Stormare
Daniel von Bargen
Next Time: Should I just do an actual Jami Gertz one? She’s been in there so long I can hardly remember what inspired the running gag in the first place.
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I’m so done with this site
Every few years I come back here. It’s the same old thing. Fan fic writers who only want to talk shit on everything else in the world, even though they have just as much imagination to come up with their own shit. Chicken shit shippers who are too afraid to tell their parents they like the same sex, and the BatFleck haters. Sorry to point this out to you, but Heath Ledger is never going to come back from the dead like Spider-Man did. Grow the fuck up, or at least graduate high school please. You people, and yes I mean that it it’s most basic form, are ruining this website for the people who actually come on here to enjoy comic books and comic book folklore and comic book art. Nobody cares about you or your opinion, honestly. If you want DickBabs, write it your own goddamn self! They gave you a storyline, just change the names a bit. But for Christs sake, quit ruining this shit for the rest of us!
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