🎃Kinktober Day 25🎃

Day Prompt: Mirror sex/Collaring/Uniform

Word Count: 889

Warnings: +18 (MDNI), sexual content, sexy time but also angsty time, unprotected sex (wrap it up ladies, gents, and gays), mentions of Jancy (i love them but for the sake of the fic they're on a break and they can fuck whoever they want while at it because there's nothing wrong with that), and my shit writing because you lot can digest it <3

A/N: I had a whole different idea for this but it is almost six am, so I cannot be held responsible for this mess. For one, this is my first time writing Jonathan. so go easy. two, I know my boy is shy, but I know that this man fucks good. like even if he was shy at the beginning I just know that he's a freak in bed. Nancy too bro, I just know she's the boss, but Jonathan on his own is just a man seeking to control something in his life. and that is you babes.

Jonathan Byers x F!Reader

When you were in High School you couldn’t understand why Nancy Wheeler had chosen Jonathan Byers, breaking Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington’s heart in the process. To you, Jonathan Byers was the complete opposite of Nancy, the girl—by society’s norm—was to be with someone like Steve. She seemed like one of those girls that would follow the path carved out for her. But things change, strange experiences turned you upside down. So you stopped questioning their relationship because your curiosity had dwindled down when your life had been affected by the interdimensional world that hid under your hometown. Even after the Byers had moved away Nancy and Jonathan were a thing, but by the time you had gone off to college in California, you had found out Jonathan and Nancy had broken up. You and Jonathan went to the same school, a place close to his home. You two had quickly turned friends—his friend Argyle was also your favorite person to hang out with.

And as you and Jonathan turned friends, he began opening up to you thus the story between him and Nancy came out. And then you understood, and as you did, you began to feel more than friend-like love toward him. But he would never love you like you did him because he still loved Nancy.

And even as months went by, and your relationship changed, you knew he loved her still. But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t take what he gave you.

And if he wanted to have you as a fuckbuddy until he went back to Nancy when they were ready to talk about their relationship again, to build a future of their liking, you would let Jonathan Byers fuck you six ways into Sunday if he felt like it.

But right now you were letting him fuck you against your body mirror like the walls weren’t made out of cardboard. That’s dorm rooms for you. But it didn’t matter because Jonathan had you against it, your tits pressed against the cold material, back arched like a bitch in heat, your head pulled back by his grip as he whispered lewd words to you, the words that would always be replayed in your head when you weren’t with him.

“Look at you, taking my cock like a good slut,” he whispered, his soft voice husky and carnal. A contrast to his shy nature. He had been called a freak in High School because he was different, but now—if they knew—the word meant so much more. The number of things you had done with him, things you could only find in those weird dreams of yours. But with him, they turned to reality. You wondered if Nancy missed this…if she sometimes wondered if this was something she was depriving herself of. But she had put her education first before a dick. You weren’t that strong. And right now you didn’t care either.

“Fuck—aw fuck—so good,” you moaned nails scrapping the wood of the bathroom door where the mirror hung. You weren’t sure how you would explain those to your roommates.

“Yeah? You like being fucked like a slut?” he asked, a smile spreading into a full grin. “Don’t have to answer, I know you do. Letting me fuck you however and whenever I want to.”

You nodded in shame and lust, tears wanting to spill at the sheer pleasure your cunt was receiving from his deep thrust, from the sting of his balls slapping cruelly against your stiff clit, and the truth of his words.

Jonathan pulled you back, stepping away from the mirror slightly, now you could see his balls slapping your clit obscenely, the way his cock was thrusting in and out of you, your slick down your thighs, and how your tits bounced at the force of the whole spectacle.

“Look at that,” he panted against your ear as he let go of your head to grab your biceps, holding you there and fucking into you harshly. You were gasping for air with every thrust. “Such a pretty thing, taking my cock so well. You’re a very good girl, aren’t you?”

“Y-yeah,” you moaned, tears now freely falling as your orgasm built, your legs quivering as you could only let him fuck you like a ragdoll.

“And all mine.” Those were the words that always made you come undone, words that were all true, you were his, maybe forever. You came with a whine of his name, your knees buckling as you did, trying to get away from his strong grip as he fucked into you still, his cock hitting your sensitive spot over and over again, making the feeling of your body all the more intense. But the clenching of your walls around him and your desperate whines was his undoing. He came with shallow thrusts, his cum spurting inside of you marking you once again as his, a feeling that did nothing but drive you insane.

Your tired eyes looked at the mirror, and there you watched as Jonathan gasped for air against your back, forehead resting on your shoulder as he watched—like you—his cum spill out of your stuffed cunt.

“Mine.”

Yes, you were. All his for the taking. But he wasn’t yours. Not even with his cum still hot inside of you.

Head cannon for Jeff;

❗❗❗ART ISN'T MINE 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝘼𝙍𝙏 𝙄𝙎𝙉'𝙏 𝙈𝙄𝙉𝙀, I'm using this for visuals, I'm too tired to draw anything out but yea credit to these artist❗❗

So for mr jeffy boy, I like to use BanningK's jeff. If you haven't heard or read the story and know of the time line, PLEASE check out Mr.creepypasta's videos for it, they are the SHIT.

So anyways, Jeff in this timeline by the original author, he doesn't carve a smile into his face, doesn't magically turn white because of being burned. Instead of that happening, the three boys still gang up on him. 𝘽𝙪𝙩, the main one, I forget his name, his mom and Jeff's mom decided they should get to know one another, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘑𝘦𝘧𝘧'𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘓𝘪𝘶'𝘴 𝘣𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴. Granted, Jeff beat the shit out of the kids but whatever. Cops knew and were friends with the asshole crotch goblins families so they were on their side for the most part. 𝘼𝙉𝙔𝙃𝙊𝙊𝘿𝙇𝙀, Jeff goes over to this kids house, and they actually get along ang bond over some stuff. Eventually, their moms' leave, 𝙊𝙊𝙊 𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙉𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙎 𝙍𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙔, and Randy tells Jeff to follow him. They go into his garage and he eventually shows Jeff his flare gun. Jeff, not wanting to deal with more fighting, tries to leave, but Troy and Keith show up, and Randy's saying basically to let them beat Jeff up. And Jeff, losing it, beat the fuck out of all them basically. Randy's and Jeff's mom eventually come back, they hear the car pull up. Randy freaks out and tells them he needs to put the flare. Everyone starts putting stuff away, and as Jeff goes to pick up magazines, Randy actually accidentally drops the flare, it goes off and shoots Jeff in the face. So, now half of his face is burned, and he's blind in his left eye. Doesn't turn any shade of color, it's just burned skin now. He doesn't kill his brother either in this one, his brother actually goes on to write books about his brother. I think it's called "friend, brother, killer. By Liu Woods" some shit like that.

𝘽𝙐𝙏 𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝙁𝙊𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙐𝘼𝙇 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿 𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙉𝙊𝙉-𝙎𝙊𝙍𝙍𝙔 𝙁𝙊𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘽𝘼𝘾𝙆𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙍𝙔 𝘾𝙍𝘼𝙋 𝙄 𝙅𝙐𝙎𝙏 𝙉𝙀𝙀𝘿𝙀𝘿 𝙄𝙏 𝙁𝙊𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙏𝙊 𝙎𝙊𝙍𝙏𝘼 𝙈𝘼𝙆𝙀 𝘼𝙉𝙔 𝙎𝙀𝙉𝙎𝙀

So, Jeff sees certain members of slender's proxy and acquaintances, (such as LJ, Jason the toy maker + Candy pop, Hobo Heart, and others), as family. Especially since his actual family was ehhhh not the best. Granted, he killed his parents but if they actually acknowledged their children and what was 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 going on, maybe they'd be alive. He views Sally as a little sister, and he has mixed feelings about her. Not in a bad sense, just, he feels awful. Especially since Jackson (EJ Goes by Jackson for my HC since LJS there and he tends to prefer it anyways), filled him in on what happened to her exactly. (𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙢 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙝𝙤𝙩 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙩𝙚 𝙙𝙤 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙘𝙝 𝙗𝙧𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙚) He likes Jackson, but has no idea how he'd even approach a person, er uh, demon? Like him. He knows he has emotions and feeling like a "human" but obviously he's not human anymore. With Ben and Toby, they're like his weird gbf's (Ben and Toby do be gay tho), but Jeff doesn't mind them dating. He's actually the reason they said anything to each other in the first place.

With jinx, it's weird. He met her one time just doing his crap in the forest. She attached him, because she needed to eat. Jeff having experienced junk like this, threw her off and they kinda had a stand off. Jeff was v e r y confused. I don't blame him, she'd be wearing a floor length dress, similar to mortica adams, but more Victorian goth. Eventually though the develope like a bro, sibling type bond. She's imortal and almost as old as Jack (LJ) so he didn't try to pursue her in anyway, plus he had *hinted* about it to her one time and she made it clear they wouldn't work out, but she was flattered non the less.

Uhhh yeaaaa. I'll make one for Jinxs as well, especially because she's like my sona and I plan on writing a story about her background and how she became a vampire. It's sorta similar to Luis in "Interview with a vampire". But y'all will hear about this as I go hehe

Inktober 2022 Day 1-3: Pumpkin Carving

WARNINGS: None that I can think of, but please let me know if you think about something that needs tagging.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Summary ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ : Niki had come to expect the weirdest things out of life since she had joined this Server, but still, how was she meant to just be chill, with seeing the Grand Villain of The Server, AKA Dream, petting dogs, and foxes, outside of Technoblade's house.

And to top it all off, how was she meant to keep up the chill, while pumpkin carving for the holidays, together, with said Villain, like, you really can't blame her for being rather on edge this time.

(Slight canon divergence) (Dream and Niki hanging out, while pumpkin carving)

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ AO3 Link ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Niki wasn't exactly fond of the current situation, but she was making the best out of it.

Techno had broken Dream out of prison, then had told him to go away, she had thought it would have ended there, and yet.

She had walked outside Techno's cabin, and had found Dream laying there, with his back leaned against the stable's wood. One hand lazily on top of one of Techno's dogs. 

And well, that's not exactly what she had been expecting.

"Oh," Niki blinked, "What?" 

Dream hazily brought his head up, he looked eerily similar to a bird's neck that had been left, strung to a wall, to croak.

The white, smiley face mask, was pointed towards her, but when Dream spoke, she could feel he was looking right past her.

"Long time no see, Technoblade" Niki backed up at those words, and turned to look behind her.

"Dream" Techno had an amused smirk on his face, and an utterly unsurprised look in his eyes "So, how's the Post-Prison Arc goin'?" 

Dream left his head fall against the wood again "Epic."

"I'm gonna be honest, you look like death."

"Okay" He replied with a blase tone.

"This guy, Chat" Techno shook his head and laughed.

He stopped looking at Dream, and turned his attention to Niki. He handed her a big warm coat.

"Aw, thank you" She felt the thick material underneath her fingertips, and equipped it "Thank you, Techno" She allowed her face and shoulders to relax a little, having her friends near her allowed her to feel a kind of safety, that she very rarely felt.

"I'm cold too, Techno" Dream said, as one of the foxes threw himself in the snow, near his legs. Dream huffed out, petting the fox's dirty white fur.

"You can control the weather, Dream" Techno responded, mindlessly licking at one of his tusks. 

"Ah-" The fox threw himself at Dream's chest "Hmm, you're right" Dream held him closer.

"So, you are just gonna stay there, bro?" Techno raised an eyebrow at him.

"Maybe" Dream looked to the side, at the pale sun that shined on the Antarctic "For a few more hours," Niki thought, he looked so so tired.

"A few more hours" Techno tilted his head "Did you sleep in my front yard, dude?"

"Perhaps," Dream said. Niki couldn't see his face, or his expressions at all, his body barely moved, yet she felt, like he totally had a teasing smile hidden underneath.

"EHHH!?" Techno's eyes shot towards the sky "Chat! You didn't tell me! This gu-"

Dream scratched the neck of the fox on his lap "What are you gonna do about it, Technoblade, torture me?" His words were as sharp as a dagger, as sharp as all of his edges, as shard as she had expected him to be, as she knew him to be.

Niki hooked onto the word Torture. She had heard Techno mention it in passing, only once before, that The Pandora's Vault was torture.

She hadn't wanted to ask how literal he meant it.

She had that heart-feeling, like he really did.

Techno's mouth mimicked an O "Can you believe this man!? I broke him out of jail, was his roommate for three months in The Human-Rights-Violations Box, and this is how he repays me, Chat. Can you believe this?"

Dream tilted his head, in the same manner, Techno had done "We are even now, Techno."

Then he stretched his back against the wood behind him, letting out a big yawn.

Niki wondered if he had just woken up then.

The thought that they had been inside the house for hours, while Dream simply slept outside, and they just didn't notice, sent chills down her spine. But, obviously, she wasn't about to show it.

She wanted to stand up too, to be brave too.

She totally managed to hold her flinching down, as she suddenly heard Philza's voice by her left side- accompanied by the everlasting cawing, and flying of the enormous murder of crows that followed him everywhere- even though she definitely didn't see him, or them for that matter, coming from anywhere.

Philza shook his head from side to side, with a disapproving, done-in, sigh "Tech, it doesn't look like he's gonna leave."

Techno hummed in acknowledgment "Ey, I don't mind offering some charity to the homeless" Niki heard Dream go: Oh My God, in the background of Techno's sentence, "If you guys don't mind."

Philza's eyes landed on his murder of crows.

Niki understood them to be like her Diary, his Chat. She was glad her friend had a Chat to relay on, of his own.

Philza nodded, then sighed. Seems like all of his Chat had come to some sort according, right now.

"Fine, fine. As long as he's not a complete little shit while he stays" Philza said, looking at Dream up and down. It oddly reminded Niki of the looks he would give Wilbur every now, and then, "Tommy better not find out, though."

Dream immediately answered, like the snap of fireworks "He won't."

Philza's eyes held a dangerous glint, that Niki very rarely got to see. She stood, as if ready to charge into battle, she supposed she was. She wanted to be.

"Are you gonna be it, Dream?" Techno asked him, with the same humorous confidence of always, but they all knew he appeared confident for a very real reason.

Dream's responses were relaxed once more, almost enough to make one wonder if they always were "Can't make any promises about that." 

"Yup, as expected" Techno rolled his eyes, before looking to his side to ask Niki "Do you mind?"

"Uhm" She took a second to answer, she wasn't used to not second-guessing herself any longer.

She gripped the rose handle, of her netherite sword tighter, the one she always kept on her belt, ready to be unsheathed, and well-utilized.

She gripped, until her knuckles got red, underneath the cold burn of the Antarctic.

She continued her sentence "If the both of you are fine with it, and Ranboo isn't home right now, and Dream promises to not do anything terrible, I'm fine with letting him stay a few hours more."

"Dream?" Techno asked him once more.

"Oh, for sure, for sure. I don't have any evil villain plans scheduled for today, that's actually why I came over to do a meet-up with your pets. You can trust me, dude." 

"Truly! Dream! The face of trustworthiness, that's why are best friends!" Techno whistled, and a bunch of the dogs came up running towards Dream, smashing their heads against him.

Dream let out a little scream, "What is wrong with you!?"

"Absolutely nothing, I have no flaws, Dream. Keep up." 

"You are an idiot" The dogs finally calmed down, to lay by his side.

"Now, listen: There are Halloween mobs out there tonight, and I'm gonna get them, before everybody else, but-

Dream interrupted him "But?"

"You wouldn't know this, Dream, but when people have houses they like to decorate them, and in the spirit of the holiday, lemme just say, if you are gonna stay here, better get to pumpkin carving."

Oh yeah, Niki had forgotten with the sudden interference by Dream, that that's what they were supposed to be doing today. Decorating the cabin for the holidays, it had been mostly her idea.

"Pumpkin carving?" Dream gestured, raising up his hand, with his opened palm.

"Yeah, Dream. That's what people do when they carve pumpkins, and wh-"

"Yeah, I know! Technoblade!"

"Good, good, then I will be expecting that pumpkin when Phil and I get back."

Niki heard Phil stifle a little laugh, trying to hide as much of his face underneath his hat as possible, (Though, honestly, she didn't think he was trying all that hard.)

All eyes went back to Dream, now that Techno's humorous quips had receded.

"...Fine" Dream did a dramatic sigh before getting up.

So, that's now what she was expecting either.

Niki couldn't help but notice how difficult it seemed for him to get up, the strength in which he gripped the stable's door, or how his knees cracked at his every move. 

It was difficult to look at, it felt like watching a string puppet fall apart.

She noticed the cold expression Techno showed, at the sight of Dream's struggle. It was always difficult for her to know what exactly he was thinking about.

Dream took out his shield, and placed it in front of himself. Niki took out her sword.

"Phil, hand the green Teletubby his pumpkin, please," Techno asked Phil, leaning his elbow on Philza's shoulder.

Philza got the pumpkin out of his inventory "'Course, dude" Dream and Philza stared at each other. Dream extended his hands towards Philza.

Niki could tell Phil wasn't exactly stoked here either, but he simply handed him the pumpkin.

"Here you go" Dream received it, and examined it. 

"Well, see you soon, mate" Philza had already offered her to come with them earlier this morning, but Niki hadn't really felt up to it.

She was tired. She felt very tired, very often.

Maybe she should speak about it more, but that felt tiring too, just not being alone was enough for her some days.

"See you, take care" She turned from Philza to Techno "The both of you, please."

"Of course, Niki, of course," Techno gave her a reassuring smile, one that Niki sincerely returned, even through the worn-down lines of her face, and heart.

Techno then turned to Dream, nodded to him, Dream nodded back, and they left.

Niki slowly got out her own pumpkin.

She waited until she saw Dream sit back down, on his, apparently designated, side of the stable, that they had found him in.

The fox crawled back on top of him, climbing his side until he got on top of Dream's head.

Dream didn't really seem to mind, not exactly what Niki was expecting.

She saw him pull out a tiny dagger with a snake-decorated handle, from his inventory.

She walked to the other extreme of the cabin, it was for the best to keep distance here.

She wasn't about to show him any fear.

She peeked at him through the corner of her eye, at the skilled and quick movements Dream made against the pumpkin's surface. She rolled her eyes, it was exactly like him, wasn't it, pragmatic, without wasting a single second.

She felt like Dream was staring right at her, as she stared at him, but his mask didn't move an inch, and his hands kept working. She could tell he had a complete focus on his task, what was tricky about Dream was telling what his real task was at all.

Being around him was unnerving and ominous, but so what, she wasn't going to run away from her own home, or go back on her word. She knew she wouldn't be judged for it, that was the point of The Syndicate, but she still didn't want to.

She stopped directly observing, and got to work on her own pumpkin.

She slashed harsh, and stiffly into it, creating a rosarium with a stabbed-through spear.

She felt the minutes trail down around them, with little more than the noises of the snow falling and raising around them, and of the animals moving around the building.

It wasn't a very pleasant silence, or anything like that, it wasn't like when The Syndicate sat around their secret meeting room, with a book opened, and simply read together for hours to no end.

But, it wasn't the chilling fear, and tense anxiety she was expecting either. It was slightly better than that.

More bearable, if nothing else.

She left her hands to work on their own while her mind escaped elsewhere, somehow, it always went back to old memories of sweet-smelling bakery shops.

She finished hers, surprisingly before he finished his.

Looking at it, she couldn't quite figure out what shape his pumpkin was supposed to have.

She decided to keep busy, being idle always made her anxious, and the more anxious she got the more difficult getting active became. Better to avoid it all together.

She stood up, and began placing the blocks around, trying to make a cute decoration.

Making sure to keep paying attention to Dream behind her, but yet again, she had the feeling that if Dream really wanted to strike them down, he would have already done so. It was an ominous sort of reassurance.

The clock kept ticking. Niki looked up to see the sky fade from a soft orange, to a deep blue darkness, it was officially the first night of their new month.

The thought of it gave her a little bit of hope, she didn't know exactly what for.

She thought back about her Diary, and her city, she would have a lot to tell them all about, once she got back. 

She finished lighting up the candles, and setting up the long table.

She found herself adding an extra seat, and too nervous to say a word about it.

Niki said "Hey," She didn't approach Dream, and she kept the sword in her hand the entire time, she attentively watched as Dream's open attention immediately focused on her "I feel like-"

Dream interjected "Here it is" And handed her the pumpkin he had been carving.

It came out of her mouth without a second thought, as if all of her reserves about him disappeared for a second at the sight of it "Aww, that's us! That's cute." 

The pumpkin was a mooshy cartoon-like version of all of The Syndicate standing together.

Niki took note of the smiley face being used for Ranboo, and of the dog with the tag Apollo standing next to Techno, and Connor.

Then she remembered it was Dream she was around of.

"What?" She heard a sharp intake of air. Dream was there, with one hand held up in front of the mouth of his mask, wheezing loudly.

She grabbed it, and quickly backed away from him.

She placed it on top of the same, huge wooden table, surrounded by benches, that she had been working on. Right next to her own pumpkin.

Niki could say he almost looked embarrassed, but it was Dream, so she wouldn't say it

Dream managed to speak up, still choked up from the lack of air, "I- To be fair- I- Thanks!" 

Guess Dream of all people wouldn't hear the word cute in reference to himself very often, she felt brave in her territory.

She wasn't expecting to hear a thank you from Dream, it reminded her of simpler times, of selling flowers together with Puffy in a little wooden shop.

Being reminded of things like this, stung.

"You are welcome" She sat the pumpkin on the table, next to her own.

"Did you finish yours?" Dream nodded towards her pumpkin.

"Yes" She said, her voice almost getting lost in the noise of a sudden gust of wind.

She turned her attention to how they looked like together, thinking about the other four they still needed to put on the table.

She felt tented to say, it looked good, and it was late, and she was cold, and she didn't want to not do things because she was scared, so she did.

"It's nice too."

Dream nodded "Yours looks awesome."

Niki blinked. Awesome, was a little too casual wasn't it.

She thought this was the most she had spoken to him since, well, always.

Everything he did, or said, caught her off-guard, his very presence was enough to unnerve her, but he hadn't actually done much today, beyond pumpkin carving, as it seems.

She looked around her, and walked to the sides of the building, but just like he had suddenly appeared in the morning, he had disappeared at night.

She focused her eyes on the snowflakes falling actively on them now.

Her voice sometimes didn't feel like her own "Thank you, Dream" But, when she focused her attention back on him, he was already gone "Oh…?"

Which, Niki reasoned, was to be expected from Dream.

But looking at the extra chair, she felt a tang of disappointment, that she decided it was best to brush away.

She sat down at the table, now in the Antarctic by herself.

It was for the best he left, she knew, and she was hoping he wouldn't come back.

She could finally put away her sword.

"Guess it's just us now, Hound Army Thorn" Niki hugged her to her chest, and they waited the night away together.

One of the dogs that she had decided to name Rose came up to her.

Rose threw herself to be petted, near Niki's feet, putting her head on Niki's lap.

Niki cooed at her, cuddling her right away.

Later on, when Niki had already fallen asleep, with her head on top of the table, hugging the wine-red cape Techno had just gifted her that morning, closer to herself, with Rose snoozing by her side.

Techno and Philza found her.

Techno grabbed it, looking at his own artistic rendition portrait, by the hand, and knife, of Dream's, yours truly.

Philza pointed towards the pumpkin, that he figured Dream had made, already laughing.

"Oh My God! Wait, no way, dude" He grabbed the pumpkin, holding it up for Techno to see better "For some reason, I have the feeling I know who made this one, y'know."

"This guy is such a sentimental" He joined in with Philza's laughter of disbelief for a moment "C'mon, Phil, we have to get Niki inside, I dunno what's up with these two, and wanting to sleep in our backyard."

"Our backyard is very pog, can't blame 'em."

Techno grabbed Niki, and carefully held her up, letting her head rest, right underneath his chin "Right you are, my friend, right you are" And so, they quietly made their way, back to the warmth of their home.

Letters and songs

Frozen heart; star blessed souls

Well, you have been caught. What are you gonna do about it?

Warnings, none really. Maedhros being supportive bro. Thingol being a bit of a dick.

Chapter 7

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Running through several hallways. Luthien held on to you tight as she led you through the kingdom. You were frantically looking around since elves were now looking at you two, or mostly at you. There was startle and confusion all over their faces. Well, your presence was no longer a secret since everyone was now looking at you. It kinda made your social anxiety go haywire.

Luthien finally stopped, and you two arrived at a pair of doors. You shook your hand in pain after Luthien released you. She has a tight grip for an elf. She turned toward you. "This is the throne room. My father will most likely be unpleasant to see you, so leave the talking to me. I convince him that you're not an intruder," She explained. "Stay beside me and try not to show any fear," She added. "Well, that's gonna be hard because I already have a minor panic attack," You said, fear resonating from your voice. "Trust me on this," She said, then turned toward the doors, pushing them open. You slightly inhaled and held your breath as you mentally prepared for your possible doom by the hands of a harsh king.

You were a bit taken back by the sight. The throne room was big and pretty. There were carvings on the walls and vines growing down from the ceiling. There were some flowers which gave a pleasant smell in the air.

You couldn't help but be in awe. You have never seen anything like this before. You have seen the courtroom in Himring, which was cold and made from stones, but this room held beauty and nature. It felt like you were going deeper into a fantasy book.

"Luthien. What is the meaning of this?!" You jumped when you heard a sharp voice cutting through the air. On the throne was a tall elf with grey hair and the most pissed-off look on his face. He held a crown made out of wood upon his head. Beside him stood the elf who spied on you two. Your face paled a little. You were silently hoping you two weren't late to fix this before something terrible would happen to you.

"Father, I introduce you to my friend (Name). She got lost in our forest, and thus I invited her as my guest," Luthien explained. "Your guest? Why wasn't I informed about this?" He questioned while staring at you with a fierce glare. Maybe because you're terrifying as fuck. You silently thought.

"Because she was injured. I brought her to be treated first before coming to tell you," Luthien explained. "Hmm," He looked down on you. You silently gulped, feeling like a mouse under his intense glare. You then noticed elves gathering in the room, watching you all. Great, you have an audience now.

"Human," The kind stated, making you jump in fright. "Yes?" Your voice came out a bit squeaky. "What was your purpose before you got lost in our forest?" He asked, which sounded more like a demand. Your heart raced a bit, nervous from all the attention on you. "I... I was to visit some relatives on the seaside, but then I got lost from the path," You explained, hoping he would take the bait. "Then you met my daughter by consequence, and she brought you here?" He asked. "Yeah, that's pretty much it," You answered, hoping to end this interrogation.

"Then how were you injured?" He asked. You almost froze. How would you explain that?! You exactly can't tell him you got shot by a goddamned spear. And the excuse "I fell." would be too obvious. You felt cornered. There were elves all around you, and you were getting questioned like a criminal.

"Father, is it really polite to question her like she did something wrong?" Luthien interfered. A silent sigh of relief escaped your lips. The feeling of being saved embraced you. "Luthien. Did you know an unknown creature passed through the circle?" He asked. "I have been hearing about it," She said. "And then it vanished without a trace," He said. You were sweating invisible sweat, knowing what kind of creature he was referring to, "And suddenly a human appears into my kingdom, so I find it a bit suspicious, " He glared at you again. "Are you saying she's some kind of an imposter?" Luthien asked. "You should be able to see for yourself that she's a human. Her fea is showing without any restrain," Luthien stated. Her dad then looked down on you, which made you uncomfortable.

"Then, if I may ask. How was this human injured?" He asked, then it all started all over again. You were frozen, and the atmosphere became heavy. Some of the bystanders began whispering to each other, which didn't make the situation any better. You had a terrible urge to give in and confess. Anything to stop the intense silence.

"Thingol," A familiar someone popped beside him. All attention was now on Melian as she stood beside the elf king with a frown on her face. "This interrogation won't be necessary, " She stated. The elves started whispering to each other again. "Your instincts to secure our kingdom are sharp as ever, but this human is not what you think she is," She said. You sweated a bit. Did he suspect you had something to do with last night because you definitely did?!

"Are you sure, my Queen? I see a possible connection between this human and the creature that broke through your circle. And we don't even know what the creature looked like. It vanished before our wardens even could take a glimpse of it," He questioned, looking at you. "But could a mere human do such thing?" Melian asked. "I..." He lost his words. "Thingol. There might have been a chance she encountered the creature herself and thus got injured. I was there when Luthien found her. She was clearly injured, barely walking, and had no recollection of what happened." She explained. "She couldn't have come here even when getting lost. This might be a mere coincidence, or maybe she was meant to find her way here," She said.

Thingol guy stood quiet for a moment. The tension was becoming a bit too tense for you. The bystanders were eagerly waiting for their King's answer like this was a first-rate drama show.

He sighed, breaking the silence. "If you say so, my Queen. I will trust your word," You mentally let out a sigh of relief. Even Luthien had a quick release of breath. "But we shall keep an eye on her. That creature might still be lurking around, and I'm not taking any risks," He stood up and walked away somewhere. "Whatever you say," Melian said. The elves on the sidelines started chattering, discussing the whole ordeal while some of them glanced at you. The Daeron guy gave you a quick glare before leaving the courtroom himself.

"Well, good that we got that out of the way," Luthien said with a smile. You puffed with intense relief. "I might not have crapped myself a couple of times," You stated. "Was it too intense for ya?" She asked. "Uhm, yeah," You said. You glanced at Melian and mouthed, "Thank you" She nodded and left on her own way. "Can we go back to Nelle? I feel like an eyesore here," You asked. "Let's go them," Luthien said, guiding you out of the courtroom. Let's just say you never want to do something like that ever again.

The sun was gracefully out, and the servants were busy with their daily duties. Maglor was brushing the feather pen against his cheek as he was in deep thought. His meal was lying beside his ongoing work but barely had been touched.

"This is a rare sight," Maedhros suddenly sat beside Maglors table, breaking Maglor from his concentration. "You don't usually dine at the balcony unless you're annoyed or want to have some peace," Maedhros explained. "And it seems you're working on a musical piece too since you have your brown feather pen out," He stated. Maglor glanced at his feather pen, which was indeed his brown one. He tends to have different colored pens for certain works.

"So what's the special occasion? You rarely have the inspiration to write new songs?" Maedhros asked. Maglor was quiet for a while. He was trying to think of a good excuse. He wasn't sure if he should tell Maedhros about his feelings for you. He might not approve it since you were a human and he was an elf, and they had the oath to fulfill. Not that he would care about Maedhros' opinion or the oath. "Just a rare idea I decided to write on a paper," He explained. "Hmmm," Maedhros observed his younger brother's behavior. " If I may ask, has something or someone inspired you with this rare idea?" Maglor stopped writing when he heard the last part of the sentence. Maedhros was hinting at something, and he wasn't sure if he was gonna like it.

"Nelyo. I don't like I when you hint at something, so tell me what do you want to say," Maglor said. Maedhros had a tiny smile on his face. "I'm just curious if someone from the healer's wing has caught your interest this much to make you write a song about them?" He asked. Maglor's eyes wandered off for a moment. His ears burned up a bit for being caught like this. "What if they have?" He asked, waiting for his older brother's reaction. Since he kind of already knew, he might as well go for it. Even though; the fear of disapproval was still at present.

"Then I won't so much," Maedhros said. "Since you're already this far to prepare a love song for them," He added. This piqued Maglor's curiosity. "So you knew already?" He asked. "Maka, it was not that hard to notice how much time you started spending time with them. You even let them sleep in your room, and not gonna lie. I once thought you two skipped the courting part and went down to business," Maedhros explained, which made Maglor choke down on his drink. He coughed hard before turning toward his red-headed brother. "I can assure you that we haven't done anything like that at all," He said. Maedhros chuckled. "Oh, it's already a surprise that you two aren't courting yet." He said. Maglor groaned and tried to wait out the burning in his throat.

"So, you're okay with it?" Maglor asked. "Your personal affairs are none of my concern, but I hope you know the consequences if you proceed with this," Maedhros said. "You do know her time will come, and she will leave this world? Are you willing to bear the sadness when that time comes?" He asked. Maglor thought about his time with you and the life you bore in your world.

The life you bore nothing but sadness and tragedy. You had dealt with terrible things and still live with a curse that had damned you from every good you could have. "I'm willing to bear anything if it means she will have a long, loving life," Maglor said. Maedhros nodded. "Then I shall leave you to it. I hope your pursuit for her love will end well, brother," Maedhros stood up. "Well, the worst end scenario that could happen is that she wouldn't feel the same," Maglor said, focusing back on his work. "I hardly doubt that. At least she's nice. I see her a much fitting choice than your past lover," Maedhros said. "I learned my lesson back then. I can assure (Name) is nothing like... her," Maglor said the last part with hidden resentment.

"Well, it's in the past now," Maedhros glanced at Maglor's ongoing work. "Are you gonna sing your song to her in our language?" He asked. "I don't think the song will hint much if she doesn't understand it," He added. "It doesn't bother her, and that's kind of a point. After the song, I will explain the words and confess my feelings to her," Maglor said. "Hmmm. Smooth, lover boy. You're going all out to charm her, aren't you?" Maedhros questioned, then began leaving the terrace. "Yeah, yeah, fuck off," Maglor chuckled. Maedhros smiled, then left his little brother alone at the balcony.

Maglor continued his work. He glanced at where Maedhros left and smiled. It was a surprise to see Maedhros like that. The last time he was this supportive and teasing was when they still lived in Valinor. It was such a long time. Maglor smiled then continued working on the melody you inspired him to create.

Standing on your toes, you pushed the last book into its place on the shelf. "That should be the last one," You stated. "Yes, thank you, (Name)," Melui smiled. You yawned, then stretched your hands. "How do you have the energy to work around in a library? I don't have anything against books, but they're not that interesting. Unless there is a good novel I could read," You explained as you looked around the place. "I guess. I feel more at home when I'm around books. Reading and studying the wonders of the world was a former passion of mine," Melui explained as he sat down. "Are you a scholar?" You sat down beside him. "I... used to be. In my home city, it's not a common career for an elf-like me," He explained. "How so?" You asked. "My people are keener on living by the sea and sail on the waves. We're excellent boat builders too," He explained. "Ah, okay," You said. "I was teased a lot by my family for wanting to become a scholar. Since most of them are mariners, but I always find it more peaceful at the land than in the sea," Melui said. "My home city is beautiful, though. I recommend visiting it sometimes," He added. "Well, if I get a chance. I'm definitely going," You said, excited about the idea. If traveling wasn't so dangerous nowadays, you would take a chance to visit a new elven city.

"I would so too. It's been a while since I have seen my family. I wonder how they're doing," Melui said, opening a book. "Why don't you go visit and see how they're doing?" You asked.

The atmosphere became tense as the white-headed elf didn't answer the question. His look became heavy, and if you're really perceptive; you could see his ears dropping a little. Your positive mood fell, and you mentally slapped yourself. How can you ask something so stupid? You really know how to make the atmosphere awkward, don't you?!

"Melui. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to" You started. "No. It's okay," He brought his hand up to stop you. "I guess. It's been a while," He set his book down. "It's just. Nelle told me I should recover and wait until I'm able to move my arm again, but after what happened during Dagor dragollac. I found myself too scared to even consider stepping outside," He explained. "I would love to go visit them, but I can't stop remembering what happened to us when we got captured," His eyes had a deep look. "I know, I'm free, but I can't stop... thinking about all the pain and what could have happened to me," He said. "I don't want to go through that ever again," He added. You grabbed onto his shoulder, giving comfort rubs. "Of course, you don't. No one would want to experience something like that ever again," You said, trying to be comforting as possible. "But you don't need to be afraid. You're safe, and I'm sure someone will help you go back to your home city if you just asked. I would gladly help you back home, but unfortunately, I do not know where that is," You said, which made him chuckle. "But if you feel like you're not ready to face the outside world again. It's okay. Take your time. There's no need to rush," You said, hoping that was enough to comfort him.

"Thank you, (Name). You know, you're quite brave, despite what happened at Maglor's gap. You still keep going like nothing happened," Melui smiled. "Like danger is nothing new to you," He said. "Oh, in my homeland. That would be called a normal Monday, " You said, which made him snort a little.

You smiled. You have almost died several times that facing new dangers is just a typical hobby of yours. It should be bad, but it's so common that only your sense of humor had turned for the dark. Hello, darkness, my friend.

"Talking about home. Is there something I can send a message with? I should tell my friends that I'm okay and safe?" You questioned. "We have carrier birds to send letters," Melui said. "A tweet, nice," You stated. "A tweet?" Melui tilted his head in confusion as he looked at you. "Don't worry about it. Are there any paper and pencils lying around?" You looked around. "Right there. I'm going to get the bird," Melui stood up. "Thanks," You stood up as well and went to grab the writing things you needed to write a letter.

You stood beside the table and grabbed one of those feather pens. You dipped it in ink and started writing on the paper. Your brain stopped working after the first sentence. "Fuck," Some ink fell on the paper, creating a mess. You took another piece of paper and worked your brains off to make a good and informal letter to explain your situation to Camilla and Maglor. One of the downsides of living in this world was that you couldn't send a simple text message. Writing letters was a pain in the ass.

You finally got the letter done, and dropped the feather pen on the table. You waved the letter around to let it dry while you looked for Melui. You found him standing near a window with a pigeon sitting on his fingers. He was petting the bird's head which looked adorable.

"Here is it. Does it know where it's supposed to go to?" You asked, handing the letter to him. "The birds have been trained to go everywhere we tell them to, so your letter will arrive at its destination," He gave a reassuring nod. "Does it know where Himring is?" You asked. "Himring?" Melui questioned. "Yeah. That's where I currently live," You explained. "Ah, okay," He had an unsure expression on his face.

"Is there something wrong?" You asked. "No! It's just -" He trailed off with his words. "Himring is Noldor territory," He started. "My people and Noldor are currently not on good terms," He explained. You were about to ask why but then the kinslaying came to mind, then Melui's people being mariners, and it oddly made sense. Melui was a telerin elf?

"I feel indifferent about them, but if you heard about the kinslaying, then you probably know what I mean. It's been years since it happened, but it's still an unforgivable act," Melui explained. "I know what you mean," You nodded. " I don't mean to criticize you and your choice living there, but are you sure living there is best for you? Do they even know about your... darker side?" He questioned. You smiled at his concern for you. "Don't worry about me. I have been living there for five months now, and only two people know about my darker side," You said. "And they're not that bad. Some of them actually regret for they did," You added. Melui nodded but still held an unsure look on his face. "If you say so, but I suggest you remain careful. Some of them might not be so regretful for their actions, and I do not want to think what they will do to you if they ever discovered the other side of you," He explained, putting the letter in the container on the pigeon back. "I keep that in mind," You said. Melui then whispered some elvish words to the pigeon, then released it through the window.

"It should arrive at Himring before nightfall," Melui stated as you two watched the pigeon vanish into the distance. "Thanks. I never understood how those worked," You said. "I'm glad to help," He said. "I think it's time for dinner. Would you like to join me?" He asked, looking at you. "Thanks, but I think I'm gonna stay at the healer's wing. My social anxiety has not been doing well after what happened today at the courtroom," You hissed, remembering the unpleasant event that happened today. "And I think it might just be weird for me to be there, so I think it might be for the best if I stayed out of sight, " You said. "I understand. Would you like me to bring you something then?" He asked. "Thanks, but I already have a sandwich I have yet to finish," You explained. "A sandwich?" He questioned in confusion. "The lembas. Nelle said only one bite should be enough to fill a man in one day, so I wanted to see if I can finish the whole thing in one day," You explained.

"Okay... how far did you get?" Melui asked. You inhaled. "Four bites..." You said. "It's still lying beside my bed, haunting me..." You said. "Oh my. Four bites is actually a lot," Melui said. "Yeah. But this time I'm gonna get five," You smiled. "I'm not gonna give up that easily," You stated, which made Melui snort. "I wish you good luck on that battle," He said. You both laughed it off and continued with your day.

ch. 1

“Don’t you remember? You were the one that came up with the idea years ago -- if things ever got too fucking weird, we’d bail into the forest for a week or two. Reset our heads, unplug from the Matrix or whatever. C’mon, man. Don’t tell me you’re gonna bail on US instead. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

---

Pale sunlight filtered down through the misty branches, bathing the small clearing in an almost ethereal light. Morning dew glistened. Birds sung sweetly. The leaves and the eaves swayed and twisted to unheard music. This ritual carried on for thousands of years uninterrupted, a fresh and timeless dawn. The mountain air breathed sweet, as if inhaling it could remove all of one’s fears and anxieties, carried out on the carbon dioxide of hot, hot breath. The light of the morning disappeared further north as the canopy thickened considerably, devouring any remnant of the outside world. It was a perfect sort of darkness; welcoming and tender to the uninformed. In that isolated little haven, the sun and moon were equal, both providing just enough light to get lost by. Common sense would say to avoid it, but the allure of the unknown is often too inviting. 

Silas found himself at a crossroads, as it wasn’t only the allure of the unknown that beckoned him north -- it was the actual, real, written invitation he’d received in the mail some four days ago after a particularly long phone call. The postcard contained only two lines: a set of coordinates and the words “bring party favors. C.” Party favors. Right. Coy fucker. Just write alcohol, he thought.

This was the right choice. His boss would figure things out somehow. Prick could barely differentiate his left foot from his right, but that was someone else’s problem. For a bit, anyway. Silas was always the quiet problem solver, the one who fixed all the gunked-up shit in the background so the company could trundle onwards with undeserved confidence like there was never an issue at all. Thankless work, but it paid well and let him use his brain while staying out of social situations. 

Using that industrious little noggin of his, he managed to discern where to go once he reached the coordinates by making sense of the clues left by Charles. Thankfully, Big C had the good sense not to carve anything into trees like the destructive little knob he usually was. Instead, Charles left little crumpled up notes inside of brown paper bags. Things like childhood anecdotes, vague reminders of promises, shopping lists, all capped off with the next direction Silas should head in. While outwardly professing his frustration, Silas did have to admit the little game they were engaged in was fun. Part of him wondered if Charles did this for the other five people coming out to the Hundred-Mile Wilderness. Probably. 

Maybe it was all part of that unwinding, that unplugging, that escape they all craved in this crazy, pandemic-riddled year. The kind of escape that only truly fortunate people could afford anymore - the ability to leave your life behind for a bit without major financial or social repercussion. Acutely aware of his luck and feeling a bit of shame for needing an escape from such a cushy life, Silas picked up the pace, heading north, into the deeper darkness as if to assuage his guilt. 

The thing they don’t tell you about forests is just how fucking dense they are, Silas complained internally, wiping the sweat from his brow a his monstrous backpack’s straps dug into his shoulders. Though he was familiar with the forests and woods of Maine, the Hundred-Mile Wilderness was an altogether different beast. Perhaps some sort of Questing one. The waist-high brush and bushes popped up without sense or logic, gnarled roots erupting through the understory of the forest as if to trip up any unsuspecting hiker on purpose. Seeing any appreciable distance ahead was out of the question, so a careful trek through the trees usually meant one would keep their head pointed firmly at the forest floor.

That made the unfamiliar noises of the wilderness all the more alien. 

Squeaks, cracks, crunching, twittering, skittering, and most concerning - stillness. While everything might unnerve the invasive species known as human beings by virtue of sheer unfamiliarity, it also indicated a relatively peaceful time. True stillness was something to be rightfully feared. 

That quiet, that stillness was the forest holding its breath. Like a hero in a horror movie, stifling their noisy lungs so the craven killer, the creature wouldn’t catch them. The wilderness operated on the same logic, really. Something big and dangerous was skulking around, and it was best to make yourself scarce before you became a hungry bear’s lunch. 

It was nothing Silas hadn’t experienced before when hiking with his father, or camping with Charles and Samir. They’d usually just pack up any particularly smelly rations and give that patch of the wild a large berth, but the thing is? Those true moments of stillness were particularly rare. Maybe one in ten trips. 

A stillness had been following him for the last two days, coming on strong and sudden for a few minutes at a time. Birds would shiver out of a song, insects would find an excuse to stop biting for five seconds, treetop rodents froze in terror, and even the waving of the high, high branches seemed to stop. In those moments, it felt like something of singular intelligence and intent was drilling its eyes into him. 

For lack of a better word, Silas felt hunted. 

He did his best to shake that feeling, knowing it invited nothing but paranoia. Nothing bad had happened, anyway.  Best not to let it ruin his oddly good mood.

However, as he stumbled and  and navigated around a large, flowering bush of honeysuckle, all sound in the forest was simply...swallowed up. Even the telling clod of his own hiking boots striking the earth produced a startling amount of nothing. Confusion turned to fear, turned to agitation, turned to...laughter. That kind of manic, annoyed laughter that twined itself to the urge to cry. 

“Charlie! Charles! Big C! I fuuuuuuuuucking get it! You can stop bro! It’s supremely hilarious that you’ve been pranking me, but just come out here and give me a hug or something.”

A beat.

The empty forest produced nothing. No answer, no friend, no friendship. No sound. An ever-dying amount of daylight. 

A beat turned to two, turned to ten. Nothing. Nothing but an immense feeling of being observed, scrutinized, investigated, seen down to his very core as if there was nothing he could hide no sin no saintliness nothing secret from the watchful eyes of the world as it bore down on him with distinctly inhuman intelligence and intention deeper and deeper into-

Then, as if someone had turned the forest back on, birdsong filled the trees once more. Particularly fat and greedy mosquitoes honed in on Silas’ hot skin and with comedic precision, a squirrel tumbled harmlessly from one branch and down to another. Giving itself a momentary grooming to remove the debris it had acquired on its trip, it scampered off like it had a hot date it couldn’t be late for. 

“Hooooooooh boy. Maybe I’m going crazy not being able to say dumb shit on Twitter or something,” Silas breathed in relief. Shaking his head, he continued forward for twenty, maybe thirty minutes cresting over the small hill he had been steadily surmounting. As he did, an all-too-familiar navy blue tent came into view. Then a garishly purple one, a muted sort of beige, and an awful neon affair. If one had to take a local’s view on it, it’d be something along the lines of “goddamn city-slickers who mock camo even when used in an appropriate setting.”

Maybe. But they were his city-slickers. 

Abandoning common sense, Silas broke into a light jog. Slinging his massive backpack off his shoulder and holding it forward to act as a sort of counterbalance, Silas hurtled towards the camp. His speed proved too much to handle, though and eventually he outran himself, tripping over his own legs to  end his descent in a most majestic tumble-and-dive maneuver. Laying on his back, Silas’ mud-streaked mop of blonde hair partially covered his face, and it was all he could do to suppress a giggle as everyone in the camp ran to see just what the hell had happened. Six faces crowded around him, and they all seemed deeply concerned before Silas’ laughter proved infectious, and all seven began to laugh together. Just like old times. 

“Haha, ah, hey guys.”

“Hey, Sly-ass. Catching some Z’s already?”

“S-somethin’ like that, Captain Crunch.” 

Charles smiled down at him, a cast-iron pan in his left hand and a serving fork in the right. Without missing a beat, Charles speared a freshly-roasted sausage link and held it above Silas’ mouth. Leaning up just enough to snatch a bite, Silas rest his head on the damp forest floor, seemingly at peace as he chewed the fatty meat.

Yeah, this is what he needed. This kind of trip was the one that changed your life. 

Heaven

Barbarian!Bakugou x Fem!Reader

—

Alright y’all! So I got a ton of great feedback on my fantasy au headcanons, and I was asked by several people on discord to write a one-shot based on my Bakugou headcanon, and so that’s what I decided to do! It is a bit long, and I may have gotten a little carried away, but I hope you guys like it! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

—

Warnings/Triggers: swearing, slightly ooc Bakugou (I love soft Bakugou ok), nsfw, loss of virginity, unprotected sex

Tengoku - Translates to “Heaven” 

Tenshi - Translates to “Angel”

Inari - Japanese goddess of prosperity

Word count: 5k

—

‘Forever’ was never in the cards for Bakugou. He planned on living fast, hard, and rich. Kicking ass, pillaging, taking revenge — but running into you made him realize maybe there’s more to life than just vigilante work. 

—

“Get your ass up shitty hair, we have a city to burn!” Bakugou slaps Kirishima awake from a deep sleep. 

“Bro chill! I can’t shift now! I have to save my energy to burn said city! Why don’t we travel by foot? There’s a city nearby, maybe we can sleep on an actual bed for once?” He stretches awake, now getting dressed. 

“Nah fuck that. We can go if you want, but I’m setting up camp, I’m not staying in some nasty fucking inn.”

Kirishima sighs, but agrees. It’s not like he had much choice anyway. After all, Bakugou was his only family in this world.

After eating breakfast, the two men packed up their belongings and began the trek to Tengoku, a small village about a half a day’s hike into the mountains. 

—

“Y/N! How are you my dear? What’s that you have there?” You look up from the small fragment of wood in your hand, having just finished carving the tail of a dragon. 

“Oh, good morning Tenshi! I had a dream last night about a dragon. He was red and huge, and he had a scar over his right eye.” You laugh, rubbing the back of your neck unconsciously. 

“Y’know, where I come from, those dreams that seem to be too real for comfort are just prophecy for the future.” She smiles warmly. 

Your (E/C) eyes catch a glint of sunlight at that. “Really? You really think I’ll meet a dragon someday?” You smile off into nothing. 

“Of course I do! You’ve wanted to see a dragon since you were about knee-height. And, well, every dragon has a rider, don’t they? Maybe a nice young man will come along with it. You’ve been here too long, go out and meet someone!” She laughs, knowing you’d grown up in the small village and had never left. You had no reason to. 

“Very funny, Tenshi. I’ll tell that to my dream-dragon.” You roll your eyes, focusing back down at the half-carved fragment in your hand. 

She laughs and makes her way down the small unpaved road that ran through the town, mostly lined with small tents with fresh produce, vendors, and entertainers.

–

Tenshi was the town’s founder, having come from ‘across the sea.’ She’d never tell anyone more than that. No one knew her name either, but everyone had affectionately coined the name ‘Tenshi,’ meaning ‘Angel’. She was well into her 80’s at least, and she acted as the chief and village grandmother to those who needed it. 

You on the other hand were an artist. Having been raised in Tengoku by monks, you lived a quiet life. Soon into your childhood you picked up the craft of carving. You’d found a small arrowhead along the creek that ran through town and starting working away at a chunk of wood you found nearby. From then on it became a hobby, then a craft, and now an art form. You started selling them to passers-by on their way to other destinations, and it brought in enough money to buy you a permanent room at the inn with plenty to spare. 

-

After Tenshi leaves, you go back to carving the dragon, each scale identical to the last. 

“How much for that one?” You yelp at the gruff voice immediately in front of you. You collect yourself and glance down at your half-finished dragon. 

“O-oh! This one? Well it’s not finished yet, I’m about halfway finished with carving and I still have to dye it! Can I offer you one of my finished pieces?” You gesture to the small table in front of you. 

The man just shakes his head, motioning to your hand. “I want that one. How long’ll it take?”

You think for a moment, and tell him maybe another 1-2 hours before the dye would dry once the carving was finished. 

He nods and grunts, making his way behind your table to the grass behind you. You look at him confused, but let it go since he’s not bothering you. 

You quickly glance behind you, offering the man a small smile. “I’m (Y/L/N) (Y/N) by the way.”

He looks up at you. “Bakugou Katsuki. Pleasure.”

You turn around sitting down in the small chair behind your table, hunched over while you carve. The man behind you doesn’t speak, and neither do you. It goes on like this for roughly an hour, until he breaks the silence. 

“Have you ever seen a dragon?” He asks you. 

You look up from your piece and sigh. “No, but it’s always been my dream, literally. I had a dream last night about a dragon. That’s what this carving is based on. There were lots of little details I remember about it. Like how there’s a scar along it’s right eye, across it’s chest, and on it’s left wing. Oddly specific, huh?” You laugh. “Our villages leader, Tenshi, says that sometimes those dreams that feel too real to be a dream are actually prophecy. Cool huh?” 

Bakugou’s eyes widen a bit, realizing you’d just described his dragon, Kirishima. 

“What is it?” You ask, noticing his change in demeanor. 

“I–” he pauses, mulling over his next words. His slack jaw turns up into a grin. “You want to meet a dragon?”

Now it’s your turn to look confused. “Y-you know one? Seriously?” You pause for a minute. “You’d better not be fucking with me.”

He chuckles “Whoa whoa princess, who says I’m fucking with you? He’s a shifter, not a full-blooded dragon but shit’s all the same to me. Finish up that carving for me and I’ll take you to him.”

Your eyes light up, feeling the sincerity in his voice. You immediately turn back to your unfinished piece, continuing on the hundreds of intricate scales. You two strike up a conversation after, both retelling stories from childhood, up to now. 

–

Through talking with him you learn that he really had it rough growing up, never having a true family, much like you. He was always moving towns, doing everyone’s dirty work with little to no pay. One day he was abducted and sold into slavery at the ripe young age of 15. The man he was sold to was one of the most foul men to walk the earth. The only nice thing was his slave-mate, Eijirou Kirishima.

The two teens quickly became friends. Spending every day and night in shared quarters really gave two people time to get to know each other. Shortly after Bakugou was purchased, Kirishima confided in him that was actually a dragon-shifter. No one else knew, or else he’d either be thrown into a bidding-war, or murdered. Some envied owning a shifter, while others thought they were a sin against the balance of life itself. 

Bakugou and Kirishima continued working for their owner for another 3 years before they decided to make their move. Over time they’d taken careful note of other slave owners in the village, their schedules, how many spaces they owned, family or no family. They also managed to pilfer small amounts of money, both from their own master as well as others. 

After some reassurance from Bakugou, Kirishima was able to shift and light the village ablaze. They created a network of safe houses so the other slaves were able to reach safety before all the slave owners were burned into oblivion. 

They never looked back after that. 

–

You look on with awe as Bakugou relays some of his and Kirishima’s adventures, as they continued to make their way through small towns, identifying rotten people, and “taking care of them.”

“W-wow,” you finally muster. You look down at your now finished piece, turning it in your hand. “You both sound incredible.”

He chuckles at that. “Yeah, well, what can I say. We’re both pretty damn cool.”

You laugh faintly, turning back to place your figurine into a small tin of crimson dye, allowing it to sit there for several minutes.

You both sit in silence as you pull the dragon out of the dye and set it on a drying rack. 

“You mentioned you grew up in this town, right? Why haven’t you left yet?” He asks, standing to his feet. 

You think for a minute. “I guess I haven’t really had any reason to. It’s quiet and everyone knows me here, ya know? Sure we don’t have the best food, or the best artisans, but it’s nice here.” You reply, turning to the table in front of you. 

“You realize how fucking talented you are, right? You could make four times what you make here if you were to travel to different towns.” He says sounding slightly irritated. “Don’t you want to see what else the world has to offer?”

You grow quiet, the faint smile fading from your face. “I never said I didn’t want to, but leaving everything I know, on my own completely, terrifies me.” You look down at your feet, letting out a shallow sigh.

“You can always tag along with Kirishima and I you know. I’d never oppose to a beautiful woman on my arm.” 

You look at him with wide eyes, cheeks flush. 

“Y-you just met me, you’d really take a chance on me? What if I’m a murderer or something?” You laugh nervously. 

He lunged forward at you, pinning you to the ground. You let out a soft grunt as you hit the ground, his hand pinning your arms above your head as he straddles your hips. 

“If you were a murderer, you’d never let someone get the upper hand, right?” He gives you a shit-eating grin as you huff in protest. 

“Besides, don’t you want to ‘live a little?’”

Your face cheeks deepen red in embarrassment, noticing the slight bulge in his pants so close to your heat. 

He notices your blush and snorts, hauling himself off of you, pulling you up with him. 

“How much longer on that dragon?” He asks, nodding to the drying rack. You dust yourself off, trying to hide your fading blush as you go to look at the dragon. 

“Ah, looks like it’s done!” You reply excitedly. 

You pick it up and look it over, proud of your handiwork. You then reach for Bakugou’s hand, uncurling his calloused fingers and setting the figurine in his open palm. He brings it to his face and inspects it, eyes lit with curiosity. 

“This is fucking incredible, (Y/L/N).” He says, awestruck. 

You let out a quiet ‘thank you’ and stand quiet for a moment. “You can call me (Y/N), you know. I’m not a fan of formalities.” You reply. 

Bakugou nods. “Yeah, me neither. Just call me Katsuki. And how much do I owe you for this?” He asks reaching for his coin pouch. 

“No no no! Don’t worry about it!” You exclaim, waiving your hands at him. “Please, as long as I can see a dragon I don’t need payment. It’s fine, really.”

He grunts out a ‘fine.’ And stuffs the figurine into his cloak. “Want to go see that dragon now?”

You nod eagerly, packing up your stocked items and throwing them into a bag. “Let me drop these off at the inn on our way there,” you tell him as you put up a “closed” sign on the table. 

You two travel down the now mostly empty road, dusk quickly approaching as you reach the inn. You run up to your room to put your stock away, jogging down the hall as to not keep Bakugou waiting. You grip the dresser in your room, panting as you’d worn yourself out a bit. “Katsuki,” you mumble, enjoying the way his name rolled off your tongue. 

“Yes?” You hear Bakugou’s voice from behind you. You yelp, running out the door before you could muster up an embarrassing excuse as to why you were saying his name in the mirror. 

He chuckles and follows you closely, eyes now wandering to your figure. You had on a plain dress, though it looked a tad small, only accentuating your curves. He wanted to devour you right then and there, but that wouldn’t be very gentlemanly, would it?

He eventually takes the lead, leading you to his small camp about a half mile outside the town. You two arrive about 20 minutes later, as the sun dips behind the mountains.

“Kirishima! We have a visitor!” Bakugou yells at the tent, a tall red-haired man poking his head out. 

“Dude, I-” He stutters, gesturing to his small protruding horns and scales on his face. You miss this exchange as you’re admiring the surrounding forest, since you’ve never been this far up the mountain before. 

“It’s fine, she’s fine.” He states gruffly, turning to you, oblivious to his state. His eyes soften as he sees you looking around the forest, admiring the sights. You notice him looking and look down at your feet, embarrassed. “C’mon, Kirishima will show you tomorrow, why don’t you sleep here tonight?” He nods at the small fire Kirishima had going. 

You sheepishly agree and make your way over to the tent, Kirishima now sitting by the fire. He extends an arm to you. “Hi! I’m Kirishima Eijirou! You can call me Kiri.” He grins, mouth full of jagged teeth. His smile is warm, and you return it in kind. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), please call me (Y/N),” you shake his hand and sit by the fire.

“Hey Bakugou, I gotta, uh...eat,” Kirishima says. “Go eat then,” Bakugou replies, sitting down between the two of you. “Don’t wait up,” he mumbles under his breath, the shifter understanding immediately. 

“Well (Y/N), it was nice meeting you! I’ll be gone for the rest of the night, but I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” He smiles, running off in the opposite direction of Tengoku.

Shortly after Kirishima leaves, you heave out a sigh and flop backwards onto the grass, looking at the stars. Bakugou looks down at you, still amazed at how oblivious you are. He eventually lays his head next to yours, grunting as his head hits the ground. “Ow,” he grumbles, having hit it harder than he intended. You laugh at the whack  sound his head makes, spinning into a fit of laughter when he starts whispering profanities at the ground. 

“Hey, what are you laughing at, princess? You think it’s funny?” You wipe away a tear as your laughs turn into sniffles. 

“Maybe a little bit,” you laugh again. 

“Uh huh. You ticklish, sweetheart?” he smirks, your face paling at his threat. 

“Shi-,” you barely get anything out before he has you pinned, hands attacking your sides. 

“N-no! Please s-stop! I can’t take it!” You cry, the tickling so intense your eyes fill with tears.

“If you want me to stop, make me,” he smiles smugly. 

Having gained a new wave of confidence, you take your knee up to his groin and rub against his bulge, eliciting a moan from Bakugou, distracting him just long enough to flip your bodies so you now straddled him. 

Now he’s the one to be taken aback by your sudden change of attitude. “Where’d this come from?” He asks, his hands settling on your hips. 

You lean forward, your hands finding his chest underneath his heavy pelt as you bring your face just inches from his. “You were the one that said I should ‘live a little’, right? That’s what I’m doing.” 

He smirks, hands gripping tighter to your thighs. “Alright then brat, show me whatcha got.”

You lock your lips against his, his breath hot against your nose as you start to grind against him. He lets out a breathy moan, giving you enough space to slip your tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss. It’s not long before the bulge in his pants is now straining against the fabric.

You slowly remove his pelt, revealing a well-built but scarred chest. You move your lips to his neck, gently sucking on the skin just beneath his jaw. 

“Fuck,” he groans as you suck on his sweet spot. You trail your kisses down his chest, leaving love bites in your wake. 

“You done this before?” Bakugou looks down at you, your hands now grasping the waistband of his pants. 

“N-no,” you stutter. “I only know what the entertainers in town have told me.” he replies with a weak tch as you continue. 

You undo his belt and slip his pants along with his boxers down around his ankles, his cock springing free from the confining material. Your eyes go wide at the size of him, never having seen a dick in person before. Noticing your hesitation, he smirks down at you. 

“What, don’t tell me you’re gonna back out now,” he laughs tauntingly. “We’re just ge—fuuuuck!” His face tenses as you lick a long stripe against the underside of his cock. 

You slowly coax his hardened member into your mouth, throat clenching as you slowly start sliding it in and out. You start at a steady pace, using your hand where your mouth can’t reach. Bakugou moans as you grow used to the size of him, taking more of him into your mouth inch by inch. Bakugou slowly starts to buck his hips up into your mouth, beginning to face fuck you as your throat clenches with every thrust. Your eyes brim with tears as the tip repeatedly hits the back of your windpipe. Your core begins to ache with neglect as Bakugou’s hips begin to stutter.

“F-fuck, I’m going to come,” he breathes as he thrusts into your mouth a handful more times before your mouth is filled with his salty seed. 

You slowly slip his cock from your mouth as you gulp down the liquid, wiping your mouth as you do so.

He chuckles, smug grin returning to his face. “Not bad for a first-timer,” he says, flipping you both so that he’s now straddling your hips.

He leans in next your ear and whispers “My turn,” as he bites down on your earlobe, sending a jolt of pleasure up your spine.

He kisses up your neck and jaw to your lips, pressing his body to yours. He momentarily breaks the kiss, his hands snaking under your dress, pulling it up over your shoulders, revealing your bare chest.

He trails kisses down your neck softly sucking, leaving love bites as you did to him. One of his hands makes its way to your already hard nipple, lightly tugging on it while his tongue swirls your other bud, eliciting a small moan from you. 

He continues his assault down your front, kissing your soft curves as his lips reach your waistline. His vermillion eyes meet yours as his fingers hook the band of your underwear and slide them down until they’re discarded on the ground, his lips never leaving your body.

He kisses your inner thighs, sending shivers up your spine, your mouth now agape as your core aches with want.

“Already so wet for me,” he coos, warm breath fanning your now bare cunt.

You moan, shifting your legs open wider, giving Bakugou better access. He kisses your now soaking heat, slowly prodding you open with his tongue. 

“Pl-please go slow,” you whisper, threading your fingers through his slightly damp hair. 

He reaches a hand up to your face, slowly stroking your cheek reassuringly. 

“Don’t worry princess, I know what I’m doing.” he replies, sliding his hand back down to your waist. 

“Let me know if you’re ever in pain, okay? I’ll stop immediately.”

You give him a curt nod as he slips his index finger into his mouth, turning his attention back to what’s in front of him. 

He slowly slides his finger into you, causing you to clench in discomfort. He stays still for a moment before he slowly starts sliding his finger in and out of your heat, already dripping with your arousal. After a short while he adds in a second finger, his eyes continuously flicking up to your face to gauge your reactions. 

Your eyes are clenched in pleasure, soft moans and mumbles of his name falling from your mouth. “K-Katsuki,” you start, slowly opening your eyes.

“Yes, (Y/N)?” He asks, still sliding his now coated fingers in and out of you. 

“Please fuck me,” your cheeks flush at your outburst. 

He smirks at that, sliding his fingers out of you, as you sigh at the loss of contact. He licks his fingers clean and pulls himself up to you, kissing you more fervently this time. 

You taste yourself on your tongue as you moan, Bakugou slipping his tongue into your mouth. He reaches down to himself pumping his cock several times, long since hard again. He lines up with your entrance, breaking your kiss momentarily. 

“Are you ready?” he asks, meeting your gaze.

You eagerly nod, as he does as well. He slowly slides himself into you, as you wince with pain. His eyes never leave you, even as your eyes close as you focus on the mild pain as he slowly stretches you. You start to relax as he bottoms out, stilling there for a moment to give you time to adjust. 

After a heavy sigh from you, he begins to move, slowly at first, barely sliding several inches in and out of you. 

“You can move, Katsuki,” you breathe. 

He grunts in agreeance as he picks up the pace, balls slapping against your heat as he nestles his face into the crook of your shoulder. 

It isn’t long before you feel a knot in your stomach, on the verge of coming undone. 

“Katsuki, I–” you moan, eyes rolling into the back of your head as he continues to pound into you. 

You come with a flash of white, clenching around him as your vision blurs. The feeling of you squeezing around him so tightly sends Bakugou over the edge not long after, a strangled moan leaving him as he paints your insides white. 

After several more thrusts he slips himself from you, collapsing next to you, quickly pulling you to his warm chest. 

You two stay like that for a bit, both lightly panting from your orgasms. You slowly curl yourself into him, his arm wrapping around you as your sigh. 

“My offer still stands. You can come with us, you know.” He breaks the silence, as you slowly look up at him. 

His eyes meet yours as you quickly turn away, cheeks pink with slight embarrassment.

“I feel like I’d slow you guys down,” you sigh, readjusting yourself as the cold night air starts to register. “Besides, I don’t know if I’d even be useful.”

He rolls his eyes. “I wouldn’t ask you along if I didn’t want you there. I feel like you’d be able to help funnel people out while Kirishima and I handle the rest. You’re good with people, right? You’d be able to do a lot of fucking good, (Y/N). And besides, your work is too damn amazing to stay locked away here. Don’t stay cramped up in this little town the rest of your life. Do something, you know?” He says gruffly. 

You lay in silence for a moment, processing his proposal. You pull yourself to a sitting position, and Bakugou shortly follows suit. 

You turn to him, pulling his face to yours and kiss him gently. 

“You know what? Sure. Why not?” You grin, filled with fresh resolve. 

He smirks at that, pulling you back to his chest as he lays back down in the cool grass. He reaches for a discarded item of clothing and wipes the both of you up. He throws you your dress and you slip it back on, as he finds some clothing to put back on as well.

Using each other for warmth, sleep takes you both, sunrise still a handful of hours away. 

—

You awake with the sun, hazy oranges and purples dancing behind your eyelids as the sun drags up over the horizon. You pull yourself up, stretching as you yawn away your drowsiness. 

You look down at Bakugou, his mouth slightly agape as he slowly stirs awake. You smile, thinking about all the things you hoped to do. Sight-seeing, exploring new foods, selling your trinkets to new markets of people; the opportunities seem endless. 

“Hey! Glad to see you’re awake! I stopped by earlier but you two were still passed out, so I went into town and got some food!” You hear Kirishima’s voice to your left, his arms full of cloth sacks, presumably filled with food. 

“Good morning,” you reply, voice still thick with sleep as he hands you a bag. 

He sits to the right of you, Bakugou stirring on your left as you open the bag and start eating. 

Bakugou eventually sits up, rubbing his eyes as Kirishima hands him a sack as well, Bakugou muttering a low “thank you” as he still struggles to wake up. 

The three of you sit in silence for a while, as you all finish up your food. 

Bakugou is the first to speak up, setting his discarded wrappings on the ground beside him. “(Y/N) here’s going to join us, she can help evacuate people as we do the rest.”

“Sweet! You’ll fit right in!” Kirishima smiles, wrapping an arm around you.

“I do have to collect my things from town, and say goodbye to everyone, but I’m ready to go after that!” you smile back, taking a sip of water.

Bakugou stands up, taking everyone’s discarded food wrappings and throwing them into a sack as the three of you clean up camp.

As day breaks, the three of you make your way into town, conversing along the way.

Before long you reach Tengoku, the sun now high above your heads as you make your way to the inn. It doesn’t take long to pack your small number of things. You don’t have much more than a week’s worth of clothing, a hand-carved hairbrush, and a handful of figurines, as well as a couple of knives. 

The three of you walk back to the front desk, returning your key to the innkeeper, exchanging pleasantries and a tearful goodbye. 

You slowly make your rounds around Tengoku, wishing everyone well and promising you’d be back. 

The hardest person to leave is of course Tenshi.

At present she’s at the local shrine, paying her respects. The three of you stop at the bottom of the steps, as to not disturb her. 

“Can you guys give me a minute?” You ask hesitantly, placing your bag on the ground. The pair of men nod as you slowly make your way to the top of the shrine. 

“Hey Tenshi,” you start, gently placing a shaky hand on her shoulder. She opens her eyes and stands from her kneeling position and turns to you, tears welling in her eyes. 

She smiles softly, taking your hands in hers. “I was just praying for you,” she says, slowly rubbing circles into the backs of your hands. “I spoke with Inari this morning, and she told me what you set out to do, and I’m so very proud of you, (Y/N).” she gleams. 

You smile and bring her small frame to yours in a tight embrace, failing to hold back tears.

“You'll be back,” she says as you both pull away. “I know you will.”

You smile at that, knowing she knew better than anyone what the future holds. 

You make your way back down the steps, eyes still slightly puffy as you reach Kirishima and Bakugou. 

“You good?” Bakugou asks, handing you your duffel bag. 

You nod, assuring him you’d be fine. Kirishima hands off his bags to Bakugou and starts to stretch out his limbs as Bakugou drops the bags next to you. 

Your thoughts are pulled to Kirishima as you see him out of the corner of your eye stretching. You give him a sideways glance, slightly confused at what he was doing. 

Bakugou observes you and snorts. “Hey I promised you a dragon, didn’t I? He can’t transform if his damn limbs are stiff.”

You mouth an “oh” as Kirishima takes a deep breath and his skin begins to darken to a crimson red. 

A tail slowly protrudes from his lower back as he begins to grow in size. His arms lengthen to match his legs as they progressively become longer and thicker, ends coming to sharp onyx claws. His face elongates into a snout, his mouth lined with the same jagged teeth he adorns in his human form. Wings twice the length of his now massive body protrude from his back, varying shades of crimson and black, a scar running along the crease of his left wing. He shakes himself out, his scales catching the sunlight, reflecting tinges of black and purple. 

Honestly, you’re awestruck. You’ve never seen something so massive and beautiful in your life. Bakugou’s eyes never leave you, admiring your face of wonder. You slowly make your way around to Kirishima’s front, his eyes catching yours as he brings his face level with you. Your eyes immediately land on his notable scar over his right eye, and you reach out to it, brushing your hand over his face. You walk back around to his side, dragging your palm against his scaly skin as you walk back to Bakugou. 

“W-wow,” is all you can utter as Bakugou chuckles. 

“He is somethin’, huh? Let’s get going.” He replies, hoisting you onto Kirishima’s back. 

He tosses you the remaining bags and pulls himself up as well, settling himself directly in front of you. You take one more glance back at the shrine, Tenshi now waving at you. You wave back, flashing Tenshi a toothy grin. You then turn to face Bakugou, your arms snaking around his thin waist. His muscles tense under you as he slaps Kirishima’s back, signaling it was time to go. 

Without time to register, Kirishima shoots up into the sky, your hands finding purchase on Bakugou’s pelt as you hold on for dear life. As quickly as it starts it’s over, Kirishima leveling out amongst the clouds. 

It’s breathtaking. The heat of the day melts away as the air pressure drops, the clouds breezing by. You feel like you could float on endlessly, and with Bakugou at your fingertips and Kirishima securely beneath you, you feel like you’re in heaven. 

The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 2

Summary: You're a fantasy-loving, LARPing human from this world, who's the black sheep of society because of your obsession for the unreal and alienation of what's real. When you're in the middle of a LARP battle with some pretty phony boars, you fall out of a tree and bust your head. You wake up, alone, and are suddenly attacked by some very pissed-off, very real wargs. Without any idea of how you got there, you got dropped into Middle-Earth, with only bits and pieces of memories of Tolkien's masterpiece, though your recollection of everything else is perfectly clear. And of all places in Middle-Earth, you got dropped into Mirkwood, with some suspicious, potentially hostile, Woodland Elves...

Chapter No.: Chapter 1

Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color

Notes: Listen to Medieval Pagan Music, Runestones when reading this chapter.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused,  Denethor's a bitch as always, Boromir lives, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Worm Tongue Grima Wormtongue, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.

Rating: Teen (14+) for now

When I said I hated reality, I didn't mean I wanted to be ripped from it without my family.

How they'd healed you so efficiently was beyond your comprehension, and nobody came to visit you. You couldn't bring yourself to eat much of what they brought you. To think you'd finally gotten your wish, you'd finally, somehow gotten sucked into some alternate reality where fiction was fact and what you'd known and lived in for your entire life was nonexistent... It was amazing. Surreal.

But you couldn't stay here. Not without your family. Not without your mom, not without [B/N], not without [S/N]. [F/N]... You wished you could've at least said goodbye to him. Life without the only people you'd ever had seemed unreal, incomprehensible, and too nightmarish. Too... Alone. You couldn't lose them.

For hours, you waited, pacing the ten-by-ten cell furiously. You had to find some way to get out, some way to find whatever portal you'd triggered... A sound at the barred door made you freeze in place, whipping around like a meerkat. It was Blue-Eyes, and some of his guards, one of which was unlocking the door. "Are you letting me go?"

Blue-Eyes stared at you as if trying to figure out whether or not you were desperate or stupid. Finally, he shook his head, probably deciding it was most likely both in your case. Well, screw him. "My father wishes to see you."

You glanced to each of the guards that came to grip either of your arms. "Is that... Bad?"

Blue-Eyes smirked. "It depends on his mood."

You glared at him as the other two Elves ushered you out of the door, onto the precariously thin ledge just outside of the cell. "You're trying to freak me out, aren't you?"

Blue-Eyes didn't answer, but took up the rear of the procession. They lead you to a platform overlooking all of the mazelike bridge-sets of the dungeons, and opened a pair of elaborately crafted doors. You balked, your jaw fell, your eyes widened as far as they'd go, stunned by the view.

The building you'd thought was surrounded by trees? It was a palace-city, which stretched back from the front wall as far as you could see. And it was made entirely of trees. Bridges of wood, twisting trunks, curling pillars of wood holding up a vaultrf ceiling which opened up to the orange-gold canopy, and beyond, the cloudless blue sky. Huge, arched windows with stained glass of amber filled the front wall, framed in wood, every few dozen feet, letting in a golden light that made the entire place seem more surreal than it already was. Leaves fell too slowly here, as if afraid that touching the ground would destroy their fabulousness. Elves inhabited every floor, sailing gracefully around like gorgeous swans that glared down at the sudden ugly duckling in their midst.

You felt tiny.

"This is your home?" You breathed in amazement, going where the guards took you on autopilot as you drank in the magnificent sight. "It's bigger than the town I live in!"

"This is just a small portion of it," Blue-Eyes had a hint of pride in his voice. You glanced over your shoulder to see him taking in the view with a faint smile on his face. "This part is my father's palace. Only nobles and militia reside here."

"It's beautiful..." You surveyed the palace in awe. I'm here. I'm really here! This is where I'm supposed to be! "Do you all have different floors? Is it flameproof? What happens if there's a forest fire? Can you even get forest fires here?"

"Why would you like to know?" Blue-Eyes demanded sharply, all kindness gone just as suddenly as it'd arrived, replaced with obvious suspicion and disdain.

You sighed, and dropped the subject. You wouldn't be finding anything out about this place today. The guards lead you up a short flight of stairs, which stopped at a huge circular pavilion, lined with a different type of guard in silver armor and navy-blue masks covering their lower faces. They stood almost impossibly still, and each carried a deadly spear.

More stairs, curving upward from each side of the pavilion, lead to a massive throne of carved wood. A regal Elf lounged on it, holding a curled wooden staff. He wore silver robes lined on the inside with a deep crimson, and a crown of thin branches styled like an elk's antlers --or maybe a thornbush-- sat atop his head of snow-white hair. Piercing blue eyes watched you from underneath strangely dark (And thick.) brows, but his catlike face was drawn into an unreadable expression.

Blue-Eyes stepped before you and the guards, and put his right arm over his chest, fist resting over his heart, as he bowed at the waist. "My king, we have brought the prisoner."

Inwardly, you winced. What kind of father forced his son to call him 'my king'?

The Elvenking flicked his fingers toward the guards on either side of you. "Leave us."

As they left with barely a clink of armor, Blue-Eyes grabbed you roughly by the shoulder, forcing you to your knees. His grip was like iron. He leaned down to snarl in your ear, "Show respect. His majesty has shown you a great kindness in allowing you to live."

Aw, fuck. You forgot that these guys had healed you. If Lord Fabulous over there had decided that by even so much as breathing near his lands you didn't deserve for your wounds to be healed, you'd be dead right now. "O-oh..." You quickly fixed your position, and even bowed your head with an arm over your chest, like Blue-Eyes had done. "Sorry..."

"My son tells me he found you trying to escape from warg-bound orcs on our northern border," Elvenking drawled slowly. Wargs... Those big dogs... Why does that sound familiar? Were they in a book? Mythology? A game? You couldn't remember, and Elvenking didn't give you time to. "You were found near-death, and without any apparent recollection of how you came to be there. Is that correct?"

You weren't sure how to adress him. "Yes, sir. My lord. Your majesty. I'm sorry."

Elvenking continued. "Would you like to elaborate on what you do remember?"

His tone wasn't kind. It was "Tell me bitch or I will throw you off into the chasms below."

And there were lots of chasms.

"You won't believe me," You started, and risked a glance; Blue-Eyes and Elvenking watched you warily. You could easily say you were from this world, but you didn't know anything about it. You couldn't lie believably. And even if you could, Elves can sense lies. You figured you'd get some extra points if you were totally honest. "But I'll tell you anyway." So you started out with your explanation of coming from a place called Earth, and that you'd been having a battle against some pretty fake boars played by unconvincing actors in Live Action Roleplay, when you'd fallen out of a tree, banged yourself up, and knocked yourself out. You then proceeded to explain about the big dogs and the orcs.

Elvenking lifted his chin slightly for the sole purpose of glowering at you. "Tell me more of this... Earth." You told him all you could. About cars and trains and jets and phones, then on to TVs and movies, and the huge skyscrapers, and how modern slang was different from what it had been, and how where you came from, Elves and orcs and dragons were all part of a genre known as fantasy. You even tried, for a brief period of time, to explain the subject of eMail and social sites like Tumblr and Twitter, but you gave up at their odd looks as they tried to comprehend the concept. You told them about all seven continents, presidents, world leaders, endless wars, hunger, trashing the planet and all other shit that was wrong with Earth.

You could've been there for hours explaining it all. When you were finished, Elvenking regarded you like he'd just came to the conclusion that you just weren't normal. "It seems, [Y/N], that your world is poisoned."

"It is!" You agreed excitedly. "Nobody cares about it anymore! It's why I grew up to be so... Un-normal, by my world's standards."

"I see..." Elvenking blinked slowly. "Then you are, since you are a spawn of this Earth, equal poison to this world, are you not?"

All the blood drained from your face. "What?"

He looked to Blue-Eyes. "Kill them."

Blue-Eyes gripped you by the back of the head, and your hands flew to his wrist as he yanked your head back. With a flourish, he drew one of his ivory-handled knives and pressed it to your throat. "Wait!" You screamed, and Elvenking raised a hand.

"Last words?" Blue-Eyes sneered.

"I don't know where I am," You choked out quickly; the cool steel of the blade was digging into your neck, cutting a fine line. "I don't know how I got here, but usually when stuff like this happens in movies, there's always a portal. Let me find it-- send an escort if you want! Take me back to where you found me, and I'll find the portal and go home. You'll never see me again!"

Elvenking dropped his hand, and your heart jumped, expecting your head to go with it. "Do you really think that is wise? I sense no dishonesty from you, but you could very well be a spy from your world, which seems so intent on conquering and destroying peace. I will not let this world, much less my own land, fall prey to yours."

"I won't tell anyone about you, or this place, I promise! I don't even know where this is!" Tears of frustration pricked the corners of your eyes. "I'm not a damn spy! I don't even know how I got here! Give me a couple of days to find the portal. Then I'll leave. What if there was a way for you to know I'll keep my word? Like a blood-oath, or something!"

"And if asked where you had gone?" Blue-Eyes countered, cocking an eyebrow.

"I'll tell them I went to Narnia, dammit! They never take me seriously anyway!" Your eyes widened. "This isn't Narnia, is it? Narnia didn't have Elves!"

"No, this is not... Narnia." Elvenking replied. "And you will not know the name of this land. You have three days to find your portal. You will be accompanied by a small assembly of my best warriors. If you do not find the door to your world within the given three days... I will give the order to kill you."

You swallowed hard. The steel dragged across your throat painfully. "Th-that sounds fair." It didn't, but, you just rolled with it.

"Legolas, you will go with them," Elvenking said; something clicked in your mind. You knew that name... You knew that name. But... Why?

Blue-Eyes-- Legolas-- nodded and finally removed the blade from your throat. Lord Fabulous inclined his head once, and you vaguely thanked him, too concerned with how you knew Blue-Eyes's name. He kept a tight, painful grip on your arm, actually digging his fingers in until you were pretty sure he cut off most of your circulation.

When you reached your cell, he thrust you in roughly, making you stumble forward. You whipped around to glare at him. "Could you be careful, Blue-Eyes?"

He paused in locking the door. Confused, he brought his sapphire eyes to meet your [e/c] ones. "What did you just call me?"

"Blue-Eyes," You suddenly felt a little embarassed about picking a nickname for him. Shit, you'd never let that bother you before. He could screw off. "I didn't know your name until a few minutes ago, so... I just picked something to call you."

He raised an eyebrow incredulously. "And you chose to call me after my eyes." It wasn't a question; it was a statement.

You flushed a little, glancing to the side with only your eyes nervously, then back to him. "Uh... Yeah. That's pretty much it."

He rolled his eyes and walked away. Before you even realized what you were doing, you'd ran to the bars and grabbed hold of them, pressing your cheek up against them to watch him walk away. "Blue-Eyes!" He stopped, but didn't turn around. "Your name... Legolas. I think I've heard it before."

He turned his head slightly, like he might be interested, but your hopes fell through the floor when he just continued walking. You immediately wished you'd've said something to get his attention, so he'd come talk to you. Like, Hey, I'm really a spy for Earth, MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ok, maybe not that drastic...

But you did wish he'd stayed to talk to you. Even if he'd tried to kill you. Legolas... You slid down the bars, sitting on the floor. Your knees came up to your chest of their own accord. Legolas... What do your Elf eyes see? You knew that you knew his name, but where did you know it from?

They're taking...

Aw, damn. It was right on the tip of your brain. Lord Fabulous looked really familiar, too. He reminded you of Ronan the Accuser from Marvel. Why couldn't you remember? Was it a side-effect of being tossed to another reality? What else did you not remember...?

You sat there for hours, until one of the guards brought you some food. You picked at the meal, as a tune got stuck in your head that you couldn't quite place...

Home is behind...

The world ahead...

Here, the song fizzed out like a radio signal, then you got another bit of it...

All shall fade..

All shall...

...Fade...

~ominous time skip~

You, Blue-Eyes, and a team of Elvish warriors like the ones who'd helped you escape the dogs and orcs set out at dawn, which was way too early for someone used to getting up at noon most of the time. All the Elves showed off their glowy perfect selves by leaping gracefully to pebble to pebble like the regal shits they were, including Blue-Eyes.

Actually, scratch that. Blue-Eyes was the fucking king of being a show-off.

They moved fast, and you were surprisingly able to keep up with them. Not one of the Elves wanted to speak to you; they seemed to consider you an abomination.

You kinda seen what they were getting at, though. You were still in your bright white, blue, and black sci-fi Elf outfit from yesterday, complete with the latex ears and bright blue faux-hawk, which had become much less faux-hawk-y after sleep. You were covered in dried blood, dirt, and parts of your outfit were ripped. You'd tried to clean up as best as you could when you were woken up by using the water from the cup you'd been given to scrub your face and arms with the stunningly clean sheets on your cot.

In other words, you stuck out like a bright blue flower in a field of dark grass. You didn't know the way back to the river, so most of the Elves surrounded you discreetly while Blue-Eyes took the lead. Every one of them had a bow or sword or knife out and ready, so one wrong sniff and you were dead.

You traveled for about an hour before anyone spoke. It was Blue-Eyes, to your surprise. "Why is your hair blue?"

"Huh?" Of all possible questions, that one hadn't been expected. Though, that was kind of dumb of you, to just assume they wouldn't eventually wonder if everybody from your world had crazy hair colors.

"Your hair," Blue-Eyes specified, sounding condescending, like his hair was much better than yours because it was long and perfect and almost white. "Why is it blue?"

"Oh," You cleared your throat. "It's dye. My real color is [h/c]. Lots of people do it where I come from. You can dye it a natural color, or an unnatural color, like so. Some keep their natural color and just add streaks that aren't their natural colors. Some dye their full hair, like me, for the sole purpose of cosplay--uh, dressing up as made-up characters for events--and others dye it just for fun. Or to stand out, I guess. But I wouldn't advise it. It ruins your hair. I just don't care, though."

"Why would anyone want to do that?" One Elf asked in horror, then sneered at you. "I suppose those of your world simply do not appreciate the naturalities of the body."

You shrugged. You should see the LGTBQ+ community... But you didn't feel like explaining any of that to these people right now. Especially when they obviously looked down on stuff like that.

"And what character are you meant to be?" Blue-Eyes asked in a challenging tone.

You flushed. "... A sci-fi Elf."

"...Sci-Fi?" A different Elf asked. "What is that?"

"Science fiction," You specified. "Basically, I'm supposed to be an Elf from another planet. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Is that why you have pointed ears?" Blue-Eyes questioned, and you nodded.

"Yeah. They're latex-- a kind of rubber. Wait, do you even have rubber here?" You waved a hand. "Nevermind. They can come off pretty easily, though. Speaking of which, I'd better take them off before they cause damage..." You reached up to one of your ears, despite the looks the Elves gave you.

Blue-Eyes stopped for a minute, halting the whole group. He looked at you like you were crazy. "Whyever would you put something on your body that could cause damage?"

You blinked. "That is a very good question, Blue-Eyes, and one I don't exactly have an answer for. Almost everybody does it at some point." You felt for the flap of latex, but you couldn't find it. Hell, you couldn't even find the edge of the prosthetic. "Oh shit..." You breathed.

"What is it?" Legolas huffed, and turned around impatiently.

Your eyes widened; you couldn't let them think you were panicking, but, well, you were, and shortly after, you did. "I-I can't get it off."

Blue-Eyes's brow furrowed. "Will it cause permanent damage if they are not removed?"

"Maybe? Yes? My skin goes red and itchy and starts to swell up if I touch latex for too long, so, I'm gonna go with a definitely on this one. Just keep walking. I should have them off by the time we get to the river."

But you didn't. There was no flap, no edge of the latex. If it weren't for the fact that you did put latex ears on, you wouldn't have known you had latex ears on. A suspicion grew in your core, so you grabbed hold of the pointed tip, and pinched down with your nails hard and fast. "Ow!"

Every Elf turned to look at you as you pulled your hand away. Some blood was on the tips of your fingers. "Why, in the name of the Valar, would you hurt yourself?" Legolas sighed like a parent lecturing a child, but you were staring at your fingertips in shock. Valar...

"I'm an Elf..."

"I beg your pardon?" Apparently the mere thought of being the same race as you was too much for Blue-Eyes to handle. It was fucking offensive.

"I'm an Elf!" You shouted, and snatched your hand to your chest. "The ears won't come off! They bled and hurt when I pinched them! I'm a damn Elf! When I fell through that portal, I was a normal human! Now I'm an Elf! I don't know whether I should be freaking out or excited!"

Legolas rolled his eyes. "It won't be permanent. Obviously, here you're an Elf. There, you're not. When we get you through the portal, you'll be a human again."

"But..." I don't want to be human... Yet, you were also trying desperately to get back to your family, on pain of death and loss of cool fantasy land. If only you'd wake up to learn you were in some kind of damn coma...

You waved your hands. "Ok. Alright, fine. Is this where you found me?"

Legolas gestured to a particular rock. "The exact spot. Do you think you could find your way from here?"

You smirked; you'd always been good at knowing your way. "Please. I was born with an innate sense of direction. Now how the fuck do we get over this damn river?"

Legolas grinned. "You're an eldar now, aren't you? See if you can get across it yourself." Eldar... That had to mean an Elf of some sort, right?

You stared him down for a second, hands on your hips. He smirked cockily back, pure smugness on his expression. "Ok. Sure. What's life without risk?"

So you took a deep breath, and headed for the opposite bank.

You and your siblings had this special hiking trail in a park, and on this trail was a creek slash pond area. Several of them. You'd always cross the creek carefully, each step placed just so, and quietly, too, so that you could see the frogs-- it was a frog hunt without actually killing said frogs. The exercise gave you all good balance and a know-how for shit not that rock.

But this river was much different than the creek back home. It was clear, and clean, and strong as fuck, so one wrong move and you'd be whooshed away, with Blue-Eyes giving Lord Fabulous the excuse of "Oh they died in the river tragically oops..."

The rocks were unstable. The river swelled over them every so often to make them slippery. Your rubber boots were less than zero help. But you were an Elf now, right? So that had to make you unfairly agile. You took another deep inhale, then took what you hoped was a graceful leaping step, only for you to slip and nearly bust your ass. Elvish powers have to be learned. Noted.

When you finally got to the other side of the bank, you were stiff, and your heart was pounding. Behind you, the Elves sneered and jeered and all kinds of other "eers". You whipped around, and flipped them off. They looked somewhere between shocked, offended, and terrified. You realized they might not know the symbolism of it, and might think you were cursing them. When they reached you, Blue-Eyes was the first to demand what that was all about. "What was that all about?!"

You panicked under pressure. "U-uh... I-it's a minor insult where I come from. Very minor. We use it frequently as a joke among close friends. A friendly insult. Yeah. Sorry. Won't happen again." He totally didn't believe you. So you quickly changed the subject. "O-oh, uh, this way!"

Scenery seen at night was harder to recognize during the day, and vise versa, but you knew you hadn't gone too far up the river when you came across some massive paw prints and scrape marks from where you'd skidded down the bank. Another bonus clue was the scrap of bright blue fabric, from your skirt/tunic thing, hanging precariously from a branch.

It took you the better part of an hour to find the tree you'd woken up at. "Okay, this it it."

"Are you certain?" Blue-Eyes asked you.

"Wait." You laid down, and yep, everything was the same, except in daylight. Legolas frowned at you as you stood, probably ashamed to even breathe the same air as you. "Yeah, this is it."

Blue-Eyes ordered something in Elvish, jerking his head. The Elves immediately set about making camp. "So, in your world, you fell from the highest branches of an oak, yes?"

"Yep, breaking several things in the process."

"And you lost consciousness after you hit the forest floor?"

"Yep."

Legolas hummed and looked up into the canopy. "Then by all means... The portal should be where you laid."

You glanced down at your feet before bouncing up and down a little. "Nope. Nothing."

Legolas huffed. "You may have to try climbing this tree and falling into this spot."

A deranged laugh escaped your throat, which you quickly stifled. "I'm sorry, but are you crazy? What if I die? We don't have the same healing stuff as you guys unless you can pay for it up front, and I'm very poor. So is all of my family. We can't afford that shit. So if I die, what's the point in going back?"

Legolas glared at you. "I didn't mean from very high. Just high enough to hopefully send you through, but not high enough to kill you. Your healers will mend broken bones, will they not?"

You scoffed dejectedly. "Yeah, but for a pretty hefty bill..." You threw your hands up. "Whatever. I'll die anyway if I don't try. Might as well." With Legolas watching you carefully to make sure you didn't try to jump from tree to tree, you started to climb.

Was it really only yesterday that you'd been having a fun, standard LARPing day with your family and [F/N]? The real world seemed like fantasy, now. This felt real. This felt like where you should be. But if your family weren't here, you wouldn't be able to enjoy it. You'd always feel as if you abandoned them. You wondered, did time pass differently? Did it go faster there, and slower here? Or was it the other way around? Would you find the portal, and return to the real world to find your family long gone and the year a thousand into the future? Then you'd wish you'd never left this place. Or would you find not a moment had passed, and to them, it was still the terrifying moment of not knowing if you were dead or alive, to find you unharmed? Would you then be able to convince them to fall through, even on the chance that the portal could only be used a handful of times, and if it did work, would a millenia had passed here? Even Blue-Eyes would've aged by that point, however slightly.

Once you'd reached a suitable height, you braced yourself against the trunk. "How's this?"

Legolas nodded. "Fine. Jump when you're ready.”

You took a minute... Ah... Better get this over with. One does not simply... Damn, what was that meme? "Ok, ready when you are."

Legolas stepped back, and waited; you hesitated, then jumped, and you felt deja vu as you barreled toward the ground, landing flat on your back. The impact knocked the wind out of you, and you felt a painful snap in your right ribcage. You kept your eyes closed; you heard nothing aside from the birds in the trees. You hoped, then hoped some more, expecting at any moment to hear the frantic footfalls of your family rushing to help you...

"Well, I see I was entirely wrong on the matter," Blue-Eyes stated simply, and you frowned. Fuck...

"Ya think? I'm still seeing priss-ass Elves in a goddamn forest that isn't the one I fell in. Fuck you, Blue-Eyes, for having me break a rib for no good damned reason." You glared at him as you tried to sit up, barely making it halfway before Legolas helped you, albeit roughly.

"Watch your tongue," Blue-Eyes snapped. "If it were not for us, you would be dead."

You pursed your lips. "You're gonna kill me anyway just for breathing on your trees, so why didn't you just let me die?"

For a second, Legolas seemed to feel pity for you. "I am sorry. Truly, I am. Perhaps if we fail to locate your way home, I could convince my father to refrain from executing you."

You huffed, wincing as the action hurt your broken-on-some-level ribs. "Why? So I can live the rest of my suddenly immortal life in a dark cell, underground, just for existing? Hell no. I'd rather die."

"Perhaps you could have another use," Legolas offered, and you shook your head.

"Never in my life have I been considered useful." You eyed Blue-Eyes disdainfully. "Ever. By anybody. If you can find a place for somebody like me that doesn't involve imprisonment, fine. But I won't be able to live with myself if I can't find a way back to Earth. I need my family. They're all I ever had."

Legolas knelt beside you. "You... Seem to be very close with them. You love this..." He looked off into the trees, searching for the word. "...Life, so much, and have wished for it for so long, but you'd give it up, to be with them in a world that does not want you... You have a brave heart."

You took the compliment. "Thanks. Now let's find this damn portal, shall we? I've got a couple more ribs to bust."

Tag List: @tesserphantom​ @thedragonghostofmordor​

@taurlel​ @hauntedsiriel​

The Phantom Menace Drunk Re-Watch

A/N: y’all asked for more reviews and I am here to serve. :) also THE HORSE IS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL CAN I GET A HELL YEAH YOU KNOW I HAD TO CELEBRATE SOMEHOW!!

I am already regretting re-watching this god awful movie but i can’t do maul dirty

there are spoilers for phantom menace in this list but like...its been out for 21 years. if you havent seen it yet what the fuck are you doing

Jesus christ this thing is 2 hours long fuck me

Starting the opening crawl off with a bunch of high brow political information was a BOLD move at best

Obi-Wan "I have a bad feeling about this." Kenobi

YESS OBI AND QUI FUCK EM UP BOIS

Okay okay wait so around 7 minutes into the movie they have a standoff with two droidekas and the droidekas are kicking their asses and so they escape and then somehow just zoom out of the frame?? like they don't walk they're just pulled by some kind of force??? 1999, man

Obi: "The negotiations were short" what a smug ass bitch i love it

"A communications interruption can only mean one thing-invasion" dude what the hell that can not be the case. have you checked the wifi router my guy

Oh fuck I forgot jar jar binks is in this movie get me another beer

also who plays jar jar?? becauseeee I just want to talk. why would you do this to us

That cheek blubbering shaking he does?? JAIL. I AM ABSOLUTELY PUTTING YOU UNDER ARREST STOP RIGHT NOW

Do you think the phantom menace was for the prequels what rise of skywalker was for the sequels in terms of disappointment in the theater

So fun fact about me I have a horrible fear of the ocean and water in general so this whole underwater sequence is literally making my skin crawl

Naboo is vaguely reminiscent of rivendell from lord of the rings I said what I said

While I do respect how much effort they put into the political side of this movie's plot I feel like it's kind of getting in the way tbh

HELL YEAH FIGHT SCENE IN THE HANGAR BAY

"hello boyos." Me trying to flirt

What makes me emo is knowing that R2 was there for literally everyone's adventures and he saw it all and he knows it all but he can't tell anyone :(

MAULLLLLL HELLO SIR ITS V NICE TO SEE YOU

Jar jar is the 8th circle of hell

How tall is Natalie Portman?? because standing next to Liam neeson she looks like she's about 3 feet 4 inches

Anakin's first words to Padme: "are you an angel?" 🥺🥺 Oh-

Watto's neck beard makes me increeeeedibly uncomfortable

Also why doesnt Jedi mind control work on toyardarians?? I have questions

Jesus christ sebulba is terrifying

OBI'S CAPE IN THE WIND SO MAJESTIC I LOVE IT

Okay so at 38:38 into the movie r2 is going into Ani's bedroom and there's a wood carving that looks exactly like Maz Kanata??? 👀👀👀

🥺🥺🥺 3PO and R2 meeting for the first time!!!

Not jar jar eating his food from his plate like a fucking dog please just kill me

Qui-Gon: "I don't know there's just something about this boy." Me about literally anythinf with a pulse and floppy brown hair

C-3PO: "You know, I find that Jar Jar creature to be a little odd." Lol SAME

What is wild to me is that ani's midichlorian count is dummy thicc but it's not talked about enough to be something I remember

MAUL HAS ENTERED THE SCENE THE MAN IS HERE EVERYONE BATTON DOWN THE HATCHES

Qui-Gon to Watto: "Patience, my blue friend." Sksksksk Qui-Gon please

Wait wait wait one of the pod racer announcers is played by one of the guys who was on Whose Line is it Anyway? I just realized! What an amazing show I miss it everyday

That animal farting in jar jar's face lol he deserves it

Also lol why is sebulba so mean to Anakin?? Anakin is like 9 years old. Sebulba is definitely full grown. grow up you fucking loser

I've reached that point in my drinking adventure that I am get very tired so fingers crossed that I don't fall asleep 🤞🏻

Watching this pod race sequence as a child is part of the reason I have so much anxiety now

"Skywalker's spinning out of control!" Lol same

Anakin ate that race tbh

Has anyone written qui gon x shmii content?? because he just put a hand on her shoulder and 👀👀 I am thönking

MAUL V QUI FIGHT SCENE LETS GOO

Listen LISTEN Anakin is like what 9 or 10 in this movie and Padme is ?? 15? 16? No dude. No giving of a necklace and saying "I care for you" absolutely not. JAIL

Palpatine is so good at emotionally manipulating people he must drive a Honda Accord and his favorite movie must be Clockwork Orange

MACE WINDU I SEE YOUUUU YEEHAW

The reveal of Padme as queen doesn't make any sense. Like why?? You could have just waited until it was absolutely necessary bro no need for a dramatic entrace

Anakin too baby to be in battle

Wait is this movie the Star Wars version of the classic man vs technology?? because I'm thinking about the gungans which are very like organic and versus the droids

Also the gungans shield didn't stop the droids from just straight up walking through so like what the fuck is the point guys

YASSSS Maul and Obi and Qui-Gon here we go!!

Seeing maul bust out the double edged lightsaber really made me tingle when I was a young lass

This maul fight is incredibly extra but what else do you expect from the Star Wars franchise

Qui-Gon meditating while waiting for the barrier to fight Maul is absolutely too much

Yay!! the evil donut blows up

IN CONCLUSION

I did fall asleep towards the end there I'm not gonna lie, but ya know, we've all seen this movie before, so.

it was just as horrible as i remembered it but like....i did enjoy falling in and out of sleep as it played in the background so that counts for something right??

𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒚, 𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘.

        ❝   you   know   PEACE   like   someone   who   has   survived   a   long   war.   take   it   one   day   at   a   time,   because   everything   has   the   scent   of   another   possible   war   ;    you   know   how   easily   one   can   start,   one   moment   QUIET,   the   next,   blood.   war   colors   your   voice,   warms   it,   even.   𝐍𝐎   𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   𝐀𝐒   𝐓𝐎   𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑   𝐘𝐎𝐔   𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑   𝐎𝐑   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑.   no   one   asks.   perhaps   you   were   both.   you   haven’t   kissed   anyone   for   a   while,   now.   to   you,   EVERYTHING   tastes   like    𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅.   ❞ 

         hey,   isn’t   that   GINEVRA   MOLLY   WEASLEY?   i   read   a   daily   prophet   article   on   them,   once   ;   the   twenty   two   year   old   pureblood   WITCH   is   a gryffindor   alumnus   who   has   gone   on   to   be   a   professional   chaser   for   the   holyhead   harpies.   i’ve   heard   they   can   be   quite   RESILIENT   &   INTUITIVE,   but   i   don’t   know...   they   came   off   very   HEADSTRONG   &   WAGGISH   in   that   interview.   it   really   is   hard   to   know   what   to   believe   these   days   though,   isn’t   it?   click   𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄   for   statistics,    𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄   for   ginny’s   entire   history   and    𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄   for   her   pinterest.

𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘.

click this link !

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘.

seventh child and only daughter of arthur and molly. first girl born into the weasley fam for GENERATIONS, so that makes her special. had too many brothers. biggest grievance was they never let her play quidditch with them, so she broke into their shed and taught herself. cried every single time they went to hogwarts without her.

eventually got there herself. her first year notoriously SUCKED.

if ‘sucked’ is a good enough word to describe being possessed by tom riddle and opening the chamber of secrets, which ultimately led to a lot of people almost dying, including herself.

this, understandably, royally fucked ginny’s shit up. easily seen by her extra special hysterical reaction to the dementors. didn’t do much in her second yr other than be upset by them on the train and be hermione granger 2.0 ( overachiever extraordinaire ).

fully supported harry potter during his fourth year, when he became the unwitting fourth champion. would have gone to the yule ball with him if she hadn’t pledged herself toneville longbottom, who goes on to become one of her best friends.

got all up in order business in her fourth year, against her parents wishes. you can take the girl from the rebellion but you can’t take the rebellion from the girl. joined dumbledore’s army. also named it. became a royal pain in umbridge’s ass. was super talented at spells ( she’s special ) that they were being taught. had a rough christmas cos her dad almost got killed by voldemort’s ugly snake. hexed draco malfoy and still giggles about it to this day. fought off death eaters in the department of mysteries and was witness to sirius black’s death.

everyone rly wanted a piece of ginny in her fifth year ( understandable ). she got invited to slug club. was also made chaser of the gryffindor quidditch team ( after playing seeker the previous year when harry was banned ). she dated harry for a hot minute after she finally got rid of dean thomas ( srry dean ), but… after dumbledore died and death eaters attacked the school he broke up with her to ‘protect her’ which… sucked.

honestly. summer in general sucked. her bro got attacked by a werewolf. her boyfriend dumped her for her own good. there was a wedding, for some reason.

sixth year also sucked. the da was reformed ( by ginny & her friends ) but could only do so much in the face of the gross misuse of power by grown ass adults. ginny did all that she could even when they were actively torturing them all, but was made go into hiding at easter.

followed her fam to hogwarts for the battle. almost had to sit the whole thing out, but ran off after she was forced to leave the room of requirement.

let’s recap the battle real quick : her brother? died. her friends? died. the love of her life? never even said goodbye and died. ginny? almost died! she did not have a good time. 0/10 stars on yelp, in fact. but they prevailed! they made harry proud! love when you succeed and get ptsd for your troubles.

ginny helped rebuild hogwarts over the summer, and went back in september to finish her seventh year, but… it wasn’t really home anymore. a war will do that. loss will do that. she was trying very hard to be okay - and in a lot of ways, trying a little too hard to be who she had ALWAYS been. she probably could have done with being told that no one expected her to be unchanged, but… everyone was going through their own stuff.

she tried to honor the one’s that they lost by living, but… that was easier on paper. ginny didn’t seem to make it all the way through the five stages of grief. she was angry, and she was sad, but she couldn’t deny it and she couldn’t change it - and acceptance was impossible. her grief turned into a persistent feeling of emptiness, and that took a toll on her, as a person.

a lot that made her happy once didn’t, anymore. she was scouted by the holyhead harpies fresh out of hogwarts, but when they asked her to sign, she didn’t immediately take them up on the offer. quidditch was about the only thing she had left at that point that brought her some measure of joy, and it felt…surreal, to be considering taking such a small pleasure and turning it into her life work. it felt not right, for some reason. doing something so ‘normal’ felt insulting, almost, to all the people who wouldn’t do anything normal again - but she couldn’t do nothing forever, and eventually, she was convinced.

she took the offer. she never looked back. things haven’t really gotten better in all the time since then, but at least they can’t get any worse.

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒.   triggers for talk of death, scars and trauma.

ginny’s scars tell more stories about her life at hogwarts than she has ever uttered. from her first year, she has marks that she can’t name the cause of. scarring along her thighs and upon her fingertips that were obtained in some of her black outs, that her parents BEGGED madam pomfrey to remove, but who she quietly told to not bother. there’s a small dent on her forehead that she sustained when she collapsed in the chamber of secrets, and you wouldn’t see it, if you weren’t looking. she doesn’t point it out.

of course, she sustained some in her fourth year. she fell over during a dumbledore’s army session and she scraped up the palm of her hand, something that they all laughedabout, back then. she broke her ankle badly enough that it continues to click, even now, but luckily was never a hassle in her chosen career. maybe she’d have been even worse of, if bellatrix had tortured her like planned. ginny counts her blessings.

but it’s her sixth year that ruined her. that instilled within her a LOVE of long sweaters and a fear of being seen entirely naked. ‘blood traitor’ is carved into her right arm from lines she was FORCED to write with her own blood, over and over, after being caught putting graffiti on the side of green house number five. she didn’t cry, to them. she didn’t shed a tear. along her back there are criss cross scars from the CRACK of a whip, so many of them that ginny still closes her eyes when she’s getting into the bathtub, so she doesn’t catch a glimpse in the mirror. she’s been suspended by her ankles, by her wrists, and she has the taut skin there to show for it, and under one instance of the cruciatus curse, she FELL and sustained two wounds most commonly paired together in her thoughts - a scar along her left cheekbone, and a gnarly one upon her knee.

the war scarred her too. scarred her deeper. scarred her truer. she has more now than she can possibly remember that serve as a reminder to the war that they fought, together - and she tries to be proud of them. she really does. but even she finds it difficult.

ginny still keeps a bag packed and ready to go at the drop of a hat under her bed, just in case she has to run. it’s a habit instilled in her by her parents from when they went into hiding, and it’s one that she’s finding almost impossible to break. she still sleeps with her wand underneath her pillow every night, fingers curled around the wood - terrified, always, to be caught without it.

her nightmares vary, but they’re there. sometimes she wakes in a cold sweat, blinking away the MEMORY of green light that came all too close to finishing her off. sometimes, all she can see is the rotting body of her older brother and his open, vacant eyes. sometimes it’s harry, and he’s all alone, and she’s screaming at him - just screaming and crying and begging him to turn around and stop and come back, but he never does. sometimes she’s back in the dungeons of hogwarts, hanging by her ankles, and when she’s shakily sipping coffee in the morning, she can still hear the carrow twins laughter in her ears, clear as day.

she’s suffered from sleep paralysis, too, though this predates the war and began in the weeks after the chamber of secrets. her limbs too heavy to move, the demon that stands over her is tom riddle - her longest and most withstanding nightmare. she’s ashamed of the fact that though she fears she’s forgotten the exact sound of fred’s laugh or the feel of harry’s hand in hers, she’ll never be able to forget the features of sixteen year old voldemort.

ginny can throw off the cruciatus curse, now, and perhaps can even resist imperio. she’s never wanted to TRY, but after the many times it was used upon them in her sixth year.. she believes it possible.

she trained to be an animagus, more out of… boredom, than anything else. she’sregistered as an orange tabby cat, and it’s not uncommon for her to run off in this form in the direction of the lake, where she can sit for hours.

ginny is bloody awful at all of the things her mother tried to teach her. knitting, cooking,general housework. she would sit for HOURS with molly in the lead up to christmas, a pair of knitting needles held awkwardly in both hands, fingers incapable of making the loops and stitches that molly is so skilled at doing, until SHE had all the christmas jumpers done… and ginny only had a rather pathetic excuse of a scarf. similarly, she tried many a time to lend a hand in the kitchen, or memorize the recipe and replicate her mothers famous homemade fudge - almost always creating some sort of inedible goop at the end of it all. she tries, god bless her, but she just doesn’t seem to have the knackthat came so EASILY to molly, and years ago after a particularly disastrous attempt at knitting the weasley family matching jumpers that ended with tears all around, ginny gave up that particular hobby.

she can garden, though. BOY can she garden. neville taught her how to take care of plants she thought were beautiful, and when she moved into her little bedsit, ginny pulled up the entire garden in her allotment - redoing it in her image. she spends hours out there, knee deep in mud, hands covered, and she comes in, sunburnt, smiling, blazing and beautiful. it’s such a simple joy to her, but it is one, nonetheless.

she always had an interest in muggles. ginny idolized her father ( and still, perhaps, does ), and some of her earliest memories were of clambering onto piles of scrap in the burrows yard, just to peek through the little dusty window on arthur’s shed and watch as he tinkered with some new muggle artifact. she was the one who told fred and george about the car, you know - though she never thought even for a MOMENT that they would end up driving it.

she learned the concept of ‘stick and poke’ tattoos from a worn out fiction book she borrowed from hermione, and learned how to replicate them with a good quill, some magical ink and a couple good spells. she gave herself her own one, in fact - the little snitch inside of the crook of her left arm, that isn’t a perfect circle, but still manages to glow BRIGHT when the conditions are perfect for quidditch. she got pretty good at them, too, giving many of her classmates their own magical tattoos as the years went by - though, like many things that brought her joy, she stopped doing them after the battle of hogwarts.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

GINNY WEASLEY ( jessica barden ) is looking for their FATHER / ARTHUR WEASLEY who resembles ANDREW LINCOLN, EWAN MCGREGOR, MADS MIKKELSON, DANIEL CRAIG / ANY FC and should be OLD. applicants do not have to contact RACHEL to talk over the details before applying.   (   father of the weasley kids ! muggle loving king ! arthur doesn’t get ENOUGH recognition for being one of the good ones, but he can have it here !)

GINNY WEASLEY ( jessica barden ) is looking for their MOTHER / MOLLY WEASLEY who resembles NICOLE KIDMAN, SUSANNA THOMPSON, CHRISTINA HENDRICKS, LENA HEADEY, GILLIAN ANDERSON / ANY FC and should be OLD. applicants do not have to contact RACHEL to talk over the details before applying.   (   kickass mother ! the earliest love of my young life ! the strongest woman alive for dealing with her merry band of misfits day in and day out ! pls bring momther.)  

GINNY WEASLEY ( jessica barden ) is looking for their NEIGHBOURS / ANY AMT who resemble MENA MASSOUD, ALEX FITZALAN, ZIYI ZHANG, JESSICA ALBA / ANY FC and should be ANY AGE. applicants do not have to contact RACHEL to talk over the details before applying.   (   they can be any age ! they can be a canon, if you’d like, or someone entirely original ! ginny lives in a bedsit in london - i imagine somewhere in greenwich and i’m leaning towards charlton - which she purchased outright two years ago, sort of… seeking out her own space, in a sense. she rented an allotment just around the corner where she could grow her own vegetables and flowers and things, and she finds… a great deal of peace simply existing, there. tending to her garden. sipping tea in her bedroom/sitting room/kitchen combo. reading on the roof, probably. i'd actually love if the bedsit was a part of a small little wizarding community in london - so a lot of members of the magical world all living closely together - and i’d love even more if she had a bunch of neighbours, all of whom she could have some varied dynamics with. there could be the one who she always goes to when she needs a sugar topup ! the one who trampled on her tomatoes once in the allotment, and they’re now in all out war ! the one who comes over sometimes and simply sits quietly with ginny, for a while, both of them enjoying each others company so simply ! lots of options. gimme all.)

GINNY WEASLEY ( jessica barden ) is looking for their PET SITTER who resemble ANY FC  and should be 20+. applicants do have to contact RACHEL to talk over the details before applying.   (   i’d put this as sort of adjacent to the above, but it doesn’t have to be ! they COULD be a fellow neighbour, but they might just be someone ginny as come to know well and trusts to take care of her pygmy puff and owl when she’s away. that’s… a huge position of trust in ginny’s life, because she loves arnold and archimedes more than she loves HERSELF, so ; they’d probably have quite a good dynamic !   )

GINNY WEASLEY ( jessica barden ) is looking for their FLINGS who resemble BEN HARDY, AVAN JOGIA, HUNTER SCHAFER, ASHLEY MOORE / ANY FC ! IDC  and should be 21+. applicants do have to contact RACHEL to talk over the details before applying.   (   i don’t know whether ‘romantic connections’ is the right place for this , but… o well ! i have the flip side connect down below for characters who ginny has been involved with in the past, but i thought one for present time would be fun ! i like flings, as a concept. i like them for ginny especially, because i think she has a very modern view on them, and doesn’t really… go in to any one night stand or three date relationship or brief fling with… an expectation, or the NEED for it to go beyond what it is for them both at the time. ginny’s quite happy to exist as a single being for the rest of her life. she’s not seeking a long term relationship, nor am i in the mindset right now that she ever will - but she hasn’t become an old maid just because she’s grieving someone she loved, and no one expects it of her. i love the idea of just… characters having casual dates ! characters hooking up for fun, no strings attached ! please let me explore it.   )

GINNY WEASLEY ( jessica barden ) is looking for their PERSONAL TRAINER / TRAINING PAL who resemble ANY FC  and should be 20+. applicants do have to contact RACHEL to talk over the details before applying.   (   this can be one or the other, i don’t really mind ! and it could be quidditch based or gym based - also, don’t mind ! i think ginny tries to continue finding quidditch fun, even though it’s also her job now, so she probably does a lot of training on her own just as a way to… fly, on her own, outside of a harpies training session. it’d be nice if she had someone to do that with, or finds someone with who she can ! flip side ; now she lives in muggle london, i think she’s started to really get into muggle gyms, so that’s an option too. a good connect to pair that take with would be the one for her neighbours, cause they could walk there and back with one another !   )

GINNY WEASLEY ( jessica barden ) is looking for their QUIDDITCH TEAMMATES / HOLYHEAD HARPIES who resembles PRISCILLA QUINTANA, FLORENCE PUGH, HUNTER SCHAFER, ANTONIA THOMAS / ANY FC and should be 20+. applicants do not have to contact RACHEL to talk over the details before applying.   (   the holyhead harpies is an all female quidditch team that plays in the britain + ireland league, and ginny has been one of their chasers for almost five years now ! there isn’t much given to them, outside of that and some controversies surrounding their captain - gwenog jones, a past member of the slug club - but i can’t see it any other way than as a team of talented players who have formed a tight knit bond. i’d love to explore the different dynamics they all could have, and the only way to do that is by having ‘em here !)

GINNY WEASLEY ( jessica barden ) is looking for their EX / MICHAEL CORNER who resembles SANTIAGO SEGURA, DAVID CASTENEDA, AVAN JOGIA, ALBERTO ROSENDE / ANY FOC and should be 23/24. applicants do not have to contact RACHEL to talk over the details before applying.   (   the first boy ginny dated at hogwarts ; the one she dumped because he was being a sore loser about gryffindor beating ravenclaw. honestly ? hilarious. i don’t think that there was love between them at all, and i’d love to see them have become quite good friends, since - give me two people who were figuring out relationships and what that meant when they were together, who fell apart and then came back together when they realized they could be good friends ! that’s a story i’m interested in hearing. )

GINNY WEASLEY ( jessica barden ) is looking for their EX / DEAN THOMAS who resembles LUCIEN LAVISCOUNT, KEITH POWERS, REECE KING, JOHN BOYEGA/ ANY BLACK FC and should be 23/24. applicants do not have to contact RACHEL to talk over the details before applying.   (   the one who got away ! sort of. you know. i think dean got it rough, to b honest with you. he came along at a point in ginny’s life when she had just started to feel she was breaking away from her brothers, a bit, and becoming a bit more miss independent - and she was also absolutely not oblivious to the fact that harry seemed a lot more interested in her than usual. things with dean and ginny went well for a while, but they weren’t what each other needed at the point of their lives that they were at, and that led to arguments between the two of them - a lot. eventually they broke up, and for a long while, couldn’t even be in the same room as one another. it was definitely the awk breakup that made everyone else feel awk, but i’d hope that after the war and in these past six years, they might’ve reached a point of being able to get along !   )

GINNY WEASLEY ( jessica barden ) is looking for their EXES / ???who resemble ABSOLUTELY ANY FC and should be 22 - 24. applicants do have to contact RACHEL to talk over the details before applying.   (   you know what ? try and convince me that there weren’t more teenage flings. of course there were ; because ginny was encouraged to find things out for herself, and was NOT raised to be find casual dating shameful in any sense of the words. ginny worked out that she was bi in school, and i actually like to imagine that it was through short lived flings with fellow students who were doing exactly what she was - figuring themselves out. they would have been pretty young and it was all mostly innocent, but i’m interested in the thought !)

GINNY WEASLEY ( jessica barden ) is looking for their SUPPORT GROUP PALS who resemble ABSOLUTELY ANY FC and should be ANY AGE. applicants do not have to contact RACHEL to talk over the details before applying.   (   look me in the eye and tell me there aren’t a whole bunch of support groups running to this day, dedicated to the witches and wizards and wixs who fought in either of the major wizarding wars. ginny probably attends one that’s london based, and was probably heavily encouraged to go. she’s not against therapy or even ‘support’, but… she is the sort of person who finds it a nice thing to think about, but not something that feels as if it’s doing her much good. she holds on to a lot, and that makes it difficult for her to really take from the group what she should be, but she’s still going ! she might hate some of the people at it. she might grab coffee with someone after, every time, religiously. maybe she just always saves your character a seat or vice versa. we can discuss ! )   [ heather pettigrew + more ]

@deadpool-scar-bro​ @hikayelastoria​ @cornsnoot-fr​ @redlion-fr @mushroomdraggo​ @murdoch-fr​ @tales-around-sornieth​ @frxemriss​ @rainhearts-hatchery​ @rexcaliburr-fr​ @starry-ampelope​ @plainstriderbard​ @reanimatedfr​ @ally-fr​ @golden-lionsnake​ @rookfern​ @griminal-rising​ (let me know if you’d like to be added to the lore pinglist)

The Priests

Long ago the gods waged war over who would get a priest. In more recent times they’ve decided it’s better they all be loved instead.

Nari, Johanna, Vex, Matrahul, Aarin, Sage, Sabrina, Dazen

Alshain's priest

Alshain's wife

Firey passion with a flaming sword who makes sure no one is ever mean to Alshain

Uses her magic for practical uses and to be, generally, eerie

Likes using her magic to make Alshain's favorite plants grow and giving Alshain gift baskets full of flowers and fruits

Has a soft spot for young girls and is trying to uplift girls in Alshain to be more than just workshop helpers or mothers, but actual artisans themselves

People of Alshain are still shocked that Alshain took a woman as a priest and Nari makes sure she is never but perfectly poised and elegant

Has a pretty good relationship with the other priests and if not for Alshain would probably be in love with one or two

Tso Ke's priest

Face of a wood nymph muscles of Ryan Gosling

School teacher to children in Starcrash

Isn't even super devout to Tso Ke before she became his priest

More like his mom than his wife. always telling him he's doing a great job. overall just very encouraging. the gentlest person you've ever met, would not hurt a fly despite having bigger muscles than most men you know

The first time she kissed Tso Ke he was the one who got all flustered and blushed bc he's a giant baby

Absolute mom friend

has some kids from a previous marriage. Husband died in a mine building Starcrash when they were both young and she raised them herself. She's since moved on.

Priest of Deneb

Doesn't consider herself his wife

hermit to the max

only ventures out of the deep jungles of Deneb when called by her god or people of the province are in need of her, or one of the other priests come calling

is good friends with all the priests and always welcomes them into her home for tea and treats

thinks of herself more as Deneb's mother than wife since he's so prone to temper tantrums

always has sweets on hand to calm him down

Aquilae's priest

is rarely ever anywhere in particular

doesn't own personal property of own things in general

very spiritual and a free spirit

rarely near anyone but if you need her she will probably show up

likes to use teleportation magic

1. it's very fast to move around the desert of Aquilae, 2. it uses up her magic meaning she has more excuses to kiss Aquilae

REALLY likes kissing Aquilae

Tarazed's priest

Less his husband and more someone just for Tarazed to use

Complete sub in all things

Easily aggravated. Doesn't enjoy being known but will suffer it

A real jock with a chip on his shoulder, much like Tarazed

Always gets into arguments with Spayar. Resents Spayar bc he sees Tarazed as liking Spayar more than him even tho he is Tarazed's priest

Prone to petty jealousies that make him do crazy things to get Tarazed to notice him. Doesn't really get it that Tarazed likes him as he is unconditionally so always trying to prove himself for attention

Thalimain's priest

not well known as a priest

rarely goes out into the rest of Thalimain and instead stays in the tower/temple built for Thalimain

Obsessively tracks the Cloud Banks tides and the movements of the stars. She's very interested in how the gods move about the cosmos and what their absences in the sky could mean

Rarely uses magic

while she is Thalimain's priest and he does dote on her they don't know each other very well. Mostly bc neither of them can talk to the opposite gender bc they're both so awkward and when Thalimain is awkward he turns into fire and/or cries from stress

Sage is good at comforting him when he does that at least

Bezek's priest

very excited to be the wife of a god

specializes in growing gourds and root vegetables

When it's fall she has gourd carving projects to do with hatchlings.

Or she uses magic to make them grow out of season.

On new moons she takes her carved gourds and puts them out into her fields with little fire in them so they glow in the darkness. It REALLY freaks some members of the clan out who aren't expecting it

Can be temperamental. always gets what she wants. Can match Bezek in stubbornness but usually wins bc she's his wife and is usually way more reasonable than Bezek is being

Tseen Foo's priest

brat and a HELLA bro. as much Tseen Foo's foil as his husband

thinks kissing is gross. mad aroace lad who ended up in a romantic relationship with a god

spends 90% of his time out in the Red Lash encouraging the young pine trees there to regrow

absolutely f*cking HATES Malik's guts with the passion of 10,000 stars

that's why Tseen Foo likes him so much, bc he hates Malik almost as much as Tseen Foo hates Malik

when out in the Red Lash likes to sing to himself. has been told his singing is AWFUL. more like screeching raccoons. Just does it anyway bc it makes him happy and less lonely when Tseen Foo isn't around

On The Idea of Farms and Family

In which I post the longest fic I’ve ever written. It’s long ya’ll.

In which the gang visits old friends and are forced to help out with the up coming harvest. Featuring: family drama, a taste of angst, hurt and comfort, and more honey than most people could handle. Also featuring @blackquills-wife and her husband Klaus.

Rated T because swearing

The excitement was keeping her up. Tossing and turning as if to warm up for the long day of play tomorrow. Their family and friends were all coming to help harvest honey and fruit and vegetables then sitting down for a feast of fresh cooked food. Zed had been watching her prepare for weeks, making gallons of ice cream, ordering an entire cow from the butcher, setting aside the best ingredients, picking the most beautiful flowers, and cleaning endlessly. 

All with the widest smile on her face. 

Zed could still see the smile even under the bags under her eyes. And now she turned to him and blushed. 

“Have I been keeping you awake? I’m so sorry!” She whispered over the sound of crickets and rustling trees. 

“No, no, Annaka.” He said her name with such reverence, like just letting the syllables out would cause the mountains to move and the sky to break out in rain. “I was just thinking about how I don’t deserve you.”

And he didn’t, or so he thought. He wasn’t human like the rest of them. Zed couldn’t even help on the massive garden they planted for too long without becoming dehydrated and needing a shower. A real human could have tilled along side her, wiping the mud from her cheek-

“Not this again,” she groaned. “Zed, My Prince, I don’t deserve you! You’re the most wonderful person alive! Literally in the whole world! I adore you.”

“Ah But-“

Annaka silenced him with a kiss. “Please. You are my true love. If it’s your personality? You are my match in both art and books, outwitting me without demeaning me. You create comparisons I could never think of. I’m in awe of your brain. And of how you selflessly help others! I fell in love with you all over again when you just donated all your treasured books to the library after it burnt down. No thoughts. Just gave them to the town. And don’t get me started on your looks…”

A single finger traced down his chest and if he was able to get goosebumps, he would have them by now. She let her fingertips roll over his chest, tracing every scar with the wonder of someone discovering stars for the first time. The scent of honeysuckle blossoms from her conditioner filled his lungs as her hair curtained around them when she leaned in for another kiss. 

“Annaka…”

As they laid quietly, pondering their love, Zed slowly moved into kiss her when-

“HEY YOU’D BETTER NOT BE DEEP SEA DIVING IN THERE!!”

A Zapp of electricity killed the mood. 

“Son of a bitch……” she cursed. “You know what? Fuck it, let him hear. I want you-“

“I KNOW YOU’RE AWAKE, ANNAKA!!” Zapp cried again from outside their front gate, banging on the wood. 

“Fucking asshole, WHY ARE YOU HERE!!! I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP UNTIL TOMORROW MORNING, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!”

“YOU FREAKIN INGRATE!!! KLAUS FIGURED YOU WOULD WANT US HERE WHILE THE BEES WERE ASLEEP!!”

“BEES DON’T SLEEP, ASSHAT-you know what? I’m just gonna frickin’ kill him. I’m just gonna chop his head off and use it for fertilizer. I’m just gonna-“ 

Annaka continued to whisper the other gruesome ways she planned on murdering her brother as she put on her robe. Even when she slammed the door to their room closed and walked towards the front gate, Zed could hear them screaming at each other. 

Family, huh? Were all families like this?

God he certainly hoped not. 

—

Annaka flung open the front gate, nearly smacking her brother in the face with it as it swung out. The Libra team stood happily, but sleepily, in front of her with Klaus already in his beesuit. 

After momentarily wondering where he could have found one that fit his colossal frame, Annaka turned to glare at her brother. All the excitement and joy she had been holding to see him vanished and she was right back to wondering how satisfying it would be to make him eat dirt. 

“Sorry to get here so early,” Mary apologized. “I hope we didn’t wake you up too bad.”

Zapp scoffed. “Oh she was up. And so was fishcake, showing her all the ways it can bend-OW!”

With a soft shimmer, Chain appeared on top of Zapp’s head, still in her jammies. Over the chorus of pained cries from her brother, she asked. “Do you have coffee?”

“Seconded,” Stephan grumbling, still wearing a suit despite the farmwork to come. 

“I’m sure Zed’s already got a pot going. Where’s Leo?”

“Still asleep in the back,” Mary said with a small smile. “He was navigating for us up until about an hour ago when he passed out.”

“Poor thing,” Annaka cooed. “I hope he didn’t wear himself out too bad.”

“He’s so adorable when he’s sleeping, reminds me of my boys,” KK cooed, heaving the sleeping boy over her shoulder like he was a naughty fat cat. 

After a few more greetings, Annaka guided them through the walled front yard. It was done in an almost perfect replica of Master’s old training ground. Everything from the rocks to the meticulously maintained meditation spiral. Zed often trained on rainy days or when there wasn’t much farming to do. Just the memories of watching his smooth graceful movements brought the smile back to her face. 

“This is lovely,” Mary cooed, taken with the koi pond. “Oh my! These koi patterns are beautiful!”

“Thank you, Zed likes to care for them. And they adore him.”

“Glad to see they can recognize family,” Zapp scoffed. 

Annaka punched him in the gut so hard that he fell to the ground looking for air. All without moving a single hair out of place. She smiled brightly. 

“How do you like that, bro? He’s been teaching me some moves.”

“Hate it, thanks,” he groaned from his human puddle on the ground. 

The group stepped over him and they entered the home. It was a relatively small living space. There were only a few rooms: a dining or maybe living area, the door to the main bedroom, and the tank room. They passed through the living space, stopping to set the exhausted Leo on the couch to sleep, and into the garden.

What Annaka liked to call her Garden of Eden.

Flowers bloomed from very vine, fruit swung heavy from trees, vegetables seemed to pop out of the ground to say hello. A stone fountain stood off to the side, water trickling over rocks and down into a stream the feed into the garden. 

“Ah that’s the irrigation system!” Annaka exclaimed. “We pumped it from a near by river and then let it fall over the Stone Mountain to aerate it, and then it flows to specific parts of the garden from the bowl here! Zed designed it! Isn’t it beautiful! Oh...the afternoons I spend in the hammock, listening to the water splash over the rocks...My Prince…”

“You’re still so cute, Anna,” Mary cooed. 

The girls held hands and gazed into the night sky together. 

“Oh Mary, oh KK! I understand how wonderful it is to be married!”

“Yes yes! My Klaus and I are just as happy as you two! Oh joy-“

“Why the frick are we here if this is the whole garden.”

And all the joy was Zapped out of the air again.

Annaka broke from Mary and turned to him. “This is just my private Garden of Eden. Our real farm is acres big.”

“Ah! You’re here! Zapp, the wood got wet from last night, will you come light it?” 

They turned to see Zed poking his head out of the window of an extremely small cottage. Annaka quickly explained that because they burn things like cornstalks and wheat stalks, things tend to get pretty smokey so they built the rooms housing the kitchen and subsequently the heater outside. 

“Course they got wet from your gills touchin’ em, Ariel!” Zapp spat, making his way to the kitchen without complaint. 

She continued to lead the rest of them on a tour, showing them the outdoor shower, her lovingly carved wooden platewear, her huge marble bathtub, and finally the tank room

Their bedroom was plain save the aquarium tank in the middle, except for, of course, the depictions Of Annaka in so many mediums. An oil painting of her artfully sleeping on the bed, a photo of her playing in the tulips, poems framed and hung on walls, sketches of her working in the yard. It was a shrine to her as much as it was also a bedroom. 

“Oh my, this feels…” Stephan stopped himself before he said, ‘fucking weird’.

Mary finished his sentence.  “So very intimate.” She said this over the sound of KK silently weeping and taking photos to send back to her husband. 

“Ah, Yeah,” Annaka responded, trying to shove them out the door while protecting the blush on her cheeks. “He’s certainly added more since I was last in here….” 

By then, Zed was calling them back for coffee served with the hint sunrise. Annaka pushed past Zapp into the kitchen to quickly throw together a decent breakfast, ordering the boys to go set the table under in the gazebo.

—

“Zed! How are you?” Mary cried when she saw him, wrapping him in a hug. 

“Happy, I would say,” he answered, setting plates on the table. “Very happy.”

Stephan couldn’t help a playful, “Yeah, we saw your art room.”

“And it was great! Your dedication to your young wife! Your adoration of her!” KK pressed her hands to her cheeks. “I’ve never seen anything like it! You’re so deeply in love.”

“Ewww gross, you like my siste-“ 

THUMP.

Zapp clutched the back of his head and cried, “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU HIT ME FROM THE KITCHEN! THE MASTER SHOULD HAVE TRAINED YOU FOR THE FRICKING ALLSTARS!!”

“COME HELP ME CARRY THESE DISHES, YOU AWFUL WORM!”

“I’M NOT YOUR SLAVE!! GET YOUR OWN-OW!!!! THAT’S IT!!! I’M ABOUT TO COME GIVE YOU A NOOGIE LIKE YOU’D NEVER BELIEVE!”

“AFTER YOU HELP ME CARRY BREAKFAST!!”

“F I N E!!”

Zapp trudged off to help with breakfast instead of continuing to insult Zed, who sat down at the newly set table. 

Klaus leaned in, still in full bee suit and asked, “So when are we going to get the honey? We should get it before the bees wake up, correct? We don’t want to disturb them.”

“Honey, they don’t sleep,” Mary cooed, petting him. “Don’t worry, the bees are excited to meet you too.”

“What is on the docket though? Assuming it’s not just twelve straight, uninterrupted hours of Annaka and Zapp screaming at each other,” Stephan asked. 

“I think it’s sweet, in a family way,” Gilbert said, sipping the coffee from his mug and finding that it tasted distinctly of chocolate and cinnamon. 

Chain huffed. “I do need my hearing to work, you know.”

Klaus smiled quietly, pulling Mary a bit closer. “My siblings and I never really fought. It’s nice to see how a normal family gets along.”

“Nothing about the Renfro’s is normal,” Stephan mocked in good fun. 

“Here, here,” everyone cheered, clinking coffee mugs with a laugh. 

The siblings in question returned holding breakfast, setting plates upon plates of home friends potatoes that smelled like garlic and spices, thick slabs of pepper crusted bacon, farm fresh eggs still sizzling on a large pan, and loafs upon loafs of bread. (I know it’s loaves but loafs is more pleasing to the mouth) All served with fresh butter and cherry jam. 

Without so much as a “Thanks for the food” the table descended on the breakfast like ravenous wolves. But the sound of silence is the highest compliment you can pay to food, sans pointing at things with your fork and going “mmm!!!”

Annaka kissed Zed when she sat down next to him and fixed him a plate like she’s done every day since they moved here. Without fail, she got up and cooked him a little something, even if it was just roasting some bread, before going back to bed. 

His heart soared when she drank the coffee he poured for her and she hummed, shoulders dropping and back relaxing. 

“Tastes goood buuuut-“ his heart plummeted until she stole his mug and took a big gulp. “That one tastes better.”

KK screamed with delight as he blushed. With that, the table broke into conversation about the harvest, about work, about life in general as the sun lazily crept up the side of the sky. Soon, the farm cats and dogs arose to work: scared off pests and chasing chickens out into the field before coming to beg for scraps at the table. 

All to soon, breakfast was over and the day was set to start. Annaka commanded them like soldiers off to cut down men instead of fruit. She, Klaus, and Mary were on honey duties. Chain and Stephan on fetching fresh water and mushrooms from the forest(she added a small wink at Chain). KK and Gilbert on fruit trees. And finally Zapp and Zed vegetables.

“Why are you giving me the dirty work?” Zapp complained. 

“With your abilities, you’ll be able to harvest the veggies in no time. And take extreme care not to hurt my melons! There are a lot this year and if we harvest them all now, we’ll be eating melon for every meal for a week.”

“K, I heard the first time you old hag.”

“Shut up and go pick my veggies.”

—

To say Klaus was buzzing with excitement was an understatement. He was floating off the ground as Annaka suited up and suited Mary up. 

“You look like the cutest marshmallow,” He cooed.

“Awww and you look like a big white polar bear!” 

Mary had been listening to Klaus talk about bees for a solid month and she loved her husband. But she was ready for a different topic. Despite this, she was practically drunk off his happiness. Fluttering around him like a worker bee did flowers. 

“Okay, let’s go get some frames, boys,” Annaka said, slamming the door to her workshop shut. Despite the door being closed she could still smell the uncapped gasoline and paint Annaka kept in there. Family tradition, she insisted. 

Mary questioned why Annaka was dragging such a huge wagon behind them until the hives came into view. There must have been two dozen hives, all four frames tall, standing in the field. 

After motioning them over, Annaka pried the box lid off and a swarm of bees greeted them. Worker bees buzzed around them for a bit before recognizing Klaus and Mary’s non threatening auras and settling into the box. 

“Now, we’re gonna take the top two boxes of each frame. Bottom two are for the babies and where the drones sex up the Queen. Oh-look! Her highness came to say hello!”

A bee the size of Mary’s thumb buzzed up to gently bonk Klaus and Mary’s hats as if to knight them before returning to her chambers. 

“Better back off my Klaus,” Mary jokes. 

Klaus turned to her. “I understand you’re joking but I want you to know that despite my excitement for the bees, you are equally if not more important to me right now. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They shared a romantic gaze over the soundtrack of Annaka heaving and groaning over the weight of the supers. 

“It’s like 30 pounds a super!” Annaka cried. 

Klaus hugged Mary. “You are my beautiful wife.”

“Oof! These boys are thicc with honey!”

“And you my beautiful husband,” Mary whispered back. 

“Fucking! Sticky and heavy! What a combo!” She heaved, setting the first super in the box. 

The shlop sound of the sticky honey hitting the metal wagon was enough to jar them out of their love. Soon the work began, filling the wagon with four dozen 25 pound supers all filled with honey. 

“And here’s why I need Klaus. This wagon is now nearly 15 hundred pounds. Can you move it for me?”

Like he was pushing a feather, Klaus began to tug the wagon to the shop. 

Mary nearly choked on the smell of the workshop again, all deadly fumes pouring into her nose. Luckily, Annaka quickly dragged the extractor out to them and set up rather quickly, blissfully closing the door to what would knock out a normal person. 

“Okay so we put the frames in the extractor like thiiis. Then you close it. And you spin it,” Annaka taught to Klaus.

“Ah, for how long?”

“Eight to ten minutes for each side. So twenty minutes total.”

The couple stood shocked as she continued to spin it. Despite the agonizingly long time they had spinning that thing to look forward to, Annaka was still smiling. 

Must be the paint fumes, Mary mused silently. 

———

“Another break, Flounder?” Zapp asked, pulling up another arm full of carrots. “Why the fuck are there so many carrots?”

“Lots...of people...who juice,” Zed explained pouring water over his drying skin. “Ahh.”

Zapp stabbed his shovel into the earth, a satisfying thunk mixed with pebbles crushed. His designer jacket wrapped around his waist as he glared at Zed. It was like a cheetah who’s spotted a bird just close enough to take a swipe at. 

“We’re not gonna get anything done with you gasping like a fish on land. Did you really make my little sister do this all by herself, blowfish?”

A stabbed remark that hit so close to Zed’s heart, he felt it break. 

“I-“

Zapp crosses his arms. “Because if I find out my sister was slaving away in this heat while you played Southern Belle on the porch all day, I’m gonna be seriously pissed.”

“My skin gets dry. I-I over-heat because I don’t sweat. She agrees-“

“So you did huh? You just wanted to mooch of my sister’s hard work?”

Zed’s head sunk. He wished he could drown in the shame but...gills. For the life of him, he could not fight Zapp on this. A difficult silence fell between them. 

If only Annaka was here to explain. Or was he relying on her too much? Maybe he was a burden to her. Just a freak show she had to love because she was afraid no one else would love her. Was he taking advantage of her?

He stood up quickly. “I need to go sleep.”

“Sure, sure,” Zapp said flippantly. “Useless crustacean.” 

The tank room was a safe place for him. A place he could still be surrounded by his wife but also be alone to think and meditate. 

Zapp was good at getting under people’s skin. A talent Annaka shared but tried desperately to keep under control. Two siblings alike in more ways than one, he sighed. 

Just as he settled in to sleep, the door opened again, revealing a very sleepy Leo rubbing his eyes. “How long was I out? Is there still coffee?”

“Ah, yes. You can reheat it in the microwave, our stove is rather difficult to use for first timers.”

“Cool.” The door closed halfway before it opened again. “Wait, why are you in here?”

Because Zapp hurt my feelings-

“Just grabbing some air...well water.”

“Okay! I’ll catch you outside!”

“Ah Wait! Leo…” Zapp looked down at the lights on his tank. “Do you think...Annaka...that I’m good enough for her?”

A snort. “Of course, dude. She loves you like...so much. Even when you two were back at the office, she totally loved you. Don’t worry about it.”

“....thank you.”

“Course man.”

———————

Hours later, and I do mean hours, the honey was collected in a couple hundred or so jars. Annaka smiled at Mary, who wanted her arms to fall over, and Klaus, who also wanted his arms to fall off but was more than willing to catch Mary’s arms as well. In a box, she selected a few dozen jars and motioned for them to follow her back up the hill. 

“You guys did great for your first time! I won’t make you deal with the beeswax cleaning,” Annaka chirped. “And you’re welcome to take home as many jars as you want!”

Klaus’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Mhm! They make great gifts! I’ll even give you some of the tiny leftover bottles from the wedding!”

“Thank you!”

“Of course! I’m just glad we got all the supers back on! You both looked be-“

“HEY!! WHAT’S THE WIFI PASSWORD!!”

“IT’S ON THE DOOR!!”

“THANKS.”

Annaka turned back with a small sigh. “Anyways! I just wanted-“

“YEAH ANNAKA, LEO’S HUNGRY!”

The was a barely audible, “I didn’t say that!”

“And off we go to make lunch,” she muttered. “Sorry, Klaus will you carry these jars up for me? I’ll run ahead and get dinner started.”

Without waiting to hear his response, she dumped the box full of jars of honey into his weeping arms. It was like she just placed the world in his aching arms and he was barely able to keep from collapsing out of exhaustion. He stared blankly at the hill in front of him as Annaka scrambled up it. 

She walked into the kitchen to start the fire and found a Leo already trying to light the cornstalks. “Ahh, thank you, Leo. What would you like for lunch?”

To answer her, his stomach growled like tiger, shaking both of them. Annaka nodded with a soft ‘I see’ and shooed him to wash up as Zapp had undoubtedly thrown mud at him while they pulled up veggies. Suspiciously missing though, was her husband. 

Another growl for Leo’s stomach heard across the yard made it clear the matter could wait. 

Quickly, she whipped up some simple burgers with a side salad and potatoes wedges and carried them out to the gazebo where her brother sat looking through her vines of flowers and out into the valley. 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” She asked. 

He didn’t turn to look at her. “Yeah…”

“Hey Big Bro?”

“Yeah, Zipp?”

Clicking her tongue at her embarrassing childhood nickname but letting the matter drop, Annaka said, “Thanks for coming. It really means a lot to see you here.”

Leo sat at the table and practically swallowed a burger whole, which somehow did not break the moment. After chugging down the fresh juice Annaka squeezed, he said, “He’s been working hard all month-“

“Can it, pubes,” Zapp snapped, glaring at him. 

Leo only smiled back. “What don’t want your sister to find out you trained all those newbies to watch the city just so you could be here? You should have seen him! We hit a new record, only three deaths this month thanks to this gu-“

“I said, can it!” He stuffed a burger into the younger boy’s mouth before slowly making his own burger. Zapp ignored the happy eyes Annaka was giving him in favor of artfully making a mess. 

“Zapp…”

“Annaka.” The use of her name brought her to full attention as he began looking out into the valley again. “Are you happy here? The middle of nowhere, hard physical labor, and fish brains? Mom and Dad said they’d be happy to have you back home and Master said he could use an extra hand with the new-“

“I would not trade this for anything,” she whispered. “With all due respect to Master and with a due swear words and insults to mom and dad. I am...so...so happy here.”

“But it’s hard!” Zapp snapped, losing all the teasing that usually kept him distant from others. Slamming his fist on the table, he cried. “It’s hard right?! You work your ass off and what can Zed even do around here? You always work so hard and make me look bad! And you found someone who actually loves you verse-“

He closed his mouth and twenty some odd years of emotional distress poured onto the table like spilled fresh squeezed juice. Jealousy was a rotten thing that spoiled all the fruit and vegetables. It crept into a person and decomposed someone from the inside out. 

“Oh!!! Is that Klaus I hear calling me!?” Leo asked as he stuffed burgers into his arms. “Bye!!”

A few moments passed before Annaka spoke, “Remember when we were kids and one of the caster kids tried to bury me alive at some conference. I bled out so much but I couldn’t get the boulders off me. Then, you came and rescued me, took me to the hospital, and then put that kid in the hospital bed next to me?”

“Heh, yeah. Fuck that kid,” Zapp said. 

“That night his dad came to visit us in the hospital. He gave me a bunch of flowers then pulled the curtain around that kid. I..” Annaka looked down. “He hurt his son. Broke a bone, I think.”

“Always knew that guy was bad news,” Zapp mused. 

She laughed, wine chimes rustled in the breeze, and she said, “That’s when I knew I wanted to help people. I wanted to keep them safe-“

“Yeah, I know. You’re moral and upstanding, I should be more like you-“

“Wait,” she said and the pond stilled at her words. Her brother looked up, all the same mess of white hair and stupid face he’d always had and she smiled at him. 

“You help people too, Zapp. We’re alike in more ways than one.”

“No, I don’t...I ruin everything. Ask anyone. You come and you clean up my messes and everyone loves you.”

“That’s because people can’t see past arbitrary values of morality. You sleep around and you drink and you smoke so you must be a bad person. I donate time and money to people so I must be a good person. Neither is true. Those who know you, who really know you, know that you are a kind person at heart. They know you struggle with vulnerability and are willing and able to understand you through your actions.”

She beamed at him. “Everyone loves you, Zapp. And how could they not?”

For the first time in a long time, Zapp felt tears running down his face. Honest tears of relief and of understanding fell from his eyes. His sister crossed the table and hugged him. 

“You’re the best big brother anyone could ask for, Zapp.”

And then he wept.

—————

Zed didn’t fall asleep. He floated there for hours, watching the water pump onto the small fountain in his room. Next to it was a small piece of marble he’d been carving to go on top for a while. It was going to Annaka, skirt all flared out and happy as the water shot up around her like the did in the city. 

He sighed and stared up at the ceiling again. Maybe a bit of training would help? Just to be angry? 

But he hadn’t felt anger at anyone since he moved here. Anger at things sure. Bees that stung me, fruit trees that dropped fruit on his head, and animals he caught eating their plants but not people. Not Annaka.

Not even Zapp. 

His door opened to reveal the man in question still smirking like he hadn’t been crying his eyes out. “Hey, sea urchin.”

“Hello, Zapp.”

The other man pulled a chair up to the tank and stared at the painting and poems and drawings of Annaka that covered the walls. Zed’s stomach churned in fear when he was finally looked at but Zapp only sighed. 

“It has come to my attention,” he said dramatically. “That I might have been too hard on you.”

“Is that an apology?”

“No, god no, of course not,” Zapp scoffed. “But...looking at all these...uhh...all this Annaka stuff...you still don’t think you’re good enough for her?”

Zed paused before sighing again. “No.”

“Well, man up and start thinking you do. Even if you have to fake it, she choose you and you’re stuck with her now.” 

With that, Zapp set the chair back and waved to him over his shoulder.

“...I thought you hated me..”

“Nah...I...you’re good by me.”

“Well you certainly don’t act like it,” Zed pouted. 

Zapp laughed and leaned against the door. “So?”

“I would like your approval to be with your sister. You’re Real approval without Annaka holding a gun to your head.”

They both shivered remembering how that day went. 

“Look dude, am I the one married to you? Do I suck your dick at night?”

“Vulgar.”

“But if you need my approval to sleep at night,” Zapp sighed, lighting a cigar and taking a long breath. After exhaling, he said, “Yeah you got it.”

They stayed like that for a second, Zed drying himself off and Zapp smoking under the watchful frozen eyes of many Annakas. Together they walked back out into the garden where all their friends laughing and talking with Annaka, surrounded by flowers and good food. 

She smiled at them, pushing at each other still, and said, “Hey.”

7x03 : The Girl Next Door

Then:

A meme was born for many fans

Now:

Dean Winchester is at Sioux Falls General getting his broken leg set and cast. Sam is getting an MRI due to potentially severe head trauma. Yeah, whatever is happening in Sam’s head isn’t going to show up on an MRI. Dean needs to get out of there but they dose him with a sedative. He wakes still at Sioux Falls General, groggy and determined to get the fuck out of there.

(Sidenote: Season 7 Grief Dean might be Peak Dean, guh

)

In his attempt to escape, he falls out of bed. Bobby shows up and Dean can’t believe that he’s alive (Oh, Dean, hold on to that feeling). Bobby hands him his clothes and tells him to meet him at the ambulance bay. He’s going to find Sam.

While Dean makes his escape, Dr. Leviathan learns about the WInchesters. Bobby finds Sam and they make a mad dash to escape the leviathan on their asses. They make it just in time.

Whitefish, Montana

Three Weeks Later

In a cabin in the woods, Sam’s busy reading books on lore and Dean’s busy watching telenovelas. Bobby comes in and Dean fills him in on what he’s missed (Ricardo. Suicidio.) I don’t know why I love this so much, but MY GOD DO I LOVE IT.

Bobby fills the boys in on what’s been going on in the world. Leviathan are like shapeshifters and nothing can kill them. “Good times.” Sam has a brief dissociative moment, but grounds himself by pushing on his hand wound. Ugh. Lucifer. Bobby says that he’s going out to collect all the copies of books he had in his now burned down house. Dean kicks Sam out to get rations (Pie specifically). He wants to talk about Sam’s state of mind. Bobby doesn’t think there’s anything to worry about.

Sam’s at the local Gas ‘n Sip (I love the woodsy Gas ‘n Sip aesthetic. I’ve spent many a vacation in rural, woodsy areas and this would fit right in). He finds a newspaper with a headline about the “Ice Pick Killer Strikes Again” (Sam, your love of serial killers is showing), and then pays for his stuff with a credit card (Sam, your lack of street smarts is showing).

That swipe alerted the leviathan as to where they are.

Sam gets back to the cabin (sans pie) and Bobby is gone. Dean asks how he’s doing and he admits that he’s still seeing things that aren’t there, but he’s managing.

Much later, after Dean’s passed out on the couch, Sam pulls out the paper to read it. We flash back to baby Sam talking to Dean on an ancient cell phone about a Kitsune. Present Sam heads out while Dean sleeps (Things of note: Dean ate some of the cake, there’s a slasher flick playing on the TV --oh, I think this was the movie Jensen was in.)

In a shady part of the outskirts of town, a drug dealer is a gross, awful, and disgusting asshole to a local washout. Sirens blare and they both take off. As drug dealer man runs through a skate park, he’s attacked, blood oozing from his head.

Dean wakes the next morning to see the note Sam left him: “Back in a few days. I’m fine. Sam.” I mean, great, but Dean’s got a broken leg, what’s he going to do all alone? Oh, he calls Bobby (and drops a Rear Window reference. My heart. Also, my ass he hasn’t seen It’s a Wonderful Life. If he’s seen one Jimmy Stewart movie, he’s seen them all.) Bobby tells Dean to cool it and wait until he gets his cast off to hunt down Sam. (Uh, A) where are all these cars they need to drive coming from? B) How is Dean supposed to get to the doctor to remove his cast alone?)

Cut to Dean cutting his own cast off. (I should have known.)

Sam’s busy investigating the Ice Pick Killer. All the victims are stabbed right behind the ear. Sam wonders if their brains are missing.

Dean heads to the local Gas ‘n Sip (where the attendant is watching Looney Tunes!) Dean asks about Sam and learns that he bought a newspaper.

At the morgue, Sam finds out that all the victims are missing their pituitary glands.

While at the library, Baby Sam discovers the Kitsune need pituitary glands to survive.

Adult Sam makes a murder board.

Baby Sam figures out that these murders are happening on the outskirts of town, one town at a time.

Adult Sam guesses where the next killing will happen.

Baby Sam gets his Triple Red Eye coffee and follows a girl back into the library. He’s not so subtle as he watches her in the library.

Adult Sam sees someone pull up at the abandoned park he’s staking out.

Baby Sam finds books and love in the library stacks. He also tells Dean on the phone that to kill a Kitsune, “You stab it in the heart!” He gets a “shush” for that, which doesn’t necessarily warrant it but it is kind of disturbing to hear. Also, Sam asks Dean how to talk to girls. #Bless.

Sam approaches said girl - moderately awkwardly - and tries to say “hi.” She shuts him down immediately; she’s not supposed to talk to boys. She leaves the library and Sam watches two creepy teens trail her. He follows THEM and when they threaten her Sam (who has yet to hit his growth spurt) kicks their asses. Sam, meet Amy!

In the present, a woman walks through the woods. Sam trails her like a PANTHER.

The woman approaches a drunk guy trying to get in his car and drive (what a lowlife) but Sam stops her and she turns, revealing her face. It’s Kaylee! I mean, Amy! His old library pal. “You got tall, huh?” she asks him. Flattery will get you nowhere, lady. Sam wants to know what she’s up to. She protests that she has a steady job, a mortgage, and a cat. And therefore she’s up to absolutely nothing shady in the woods at night.

In the past, Amy patches up Baby Sam after his fight. She grabs a cool drink from the totally normal fridge. They bond over moving around the country.

Present Amy begs Sam for mercy. She’s not a murderer, she’s desperate. When he hesitates, she knocks him out. (Ticks another check on the ol’ Sam brain injury chart.)

Dean, meanwhile, is busy following in Sam’s footsteps. At the morgue, he examines the dealer’s body for clues and the morgue attendant clues him in on the missing pituitary glands. Now he knows that they’re hunting a kitsune.

For Pidgeon-Cam Dean Science:

Amy frantically goes through her house, hiding family photos and packing, when Sam shows up in her bedroom like some murdery Edward Cullen.

She’s got fresh blood on her hand, indicating that she’s killed while on her way back to her house. Sam tells her that he’s going to have to kill her. Once again, she implores for him to remember her in the past.

Baby Sam spills a drink and in the flurry to clean it up, we learn that both their parents have bad tempers. “You don’t want to see [my dad] when he’s drinking,” Sam reveals. YIKES EMOJI. Sam insists that she’s a good person - he can just tell.

Present Amy shows Sam why she’s killing - she has a son.

Her kid got sick and the dead people’s pituitary glands she gets from her mortician job weren’t enough to help him. She needed live glands to help him get better. She swears up, down, and sideways that she’s done killing now that his fever has broken. She reminds Sam of something she’d done in the past for him….

Flashback. Amy’s mom bursts in and Baby Sam hides while she begins to pack up. Some hunters in an Impala have tracked her down and it’s time to blow town fast. Her mom heads out again to gas up the van while Amy vows to pack. Sam emerges with a knife, puts two and two together, and they learn the truth about each other. A family of hunters and a family of monsters! Ah, ill-fated young love.

Adult Sam heads for his motel room some indeterminate amount of time later and gets walloped in the face by big bro Dean.

Dean, there are healthier ways to deal with your feelings. Dean’s pissed that Sam stole his car to go hunt on his own for a few days. Sam insists that the case is over and he, uh, let her go.

In the past, Amy’s mom sniffs out Baby Sam. She tells her daughter that Sam’s food, not a friend.

Baby Sam’s about to get his brains carved out when Amy stabs her mom from behind, killing her and saving Sam. Sam tells her to grab as much cash as she can and get on the first bus out of town.

Dean tries to wrap his head around Sam’s story. He insists that Sam’s thinking is messed up. To make it clear, Dean insists on monster bad. Human good. If she’s killing people, they have to kill her. Sam insists that it isn’t that simple. He’s a freak and so is Amy - but they’re managing their lives. “You don’t trust her...fine. Trust me.” Dean reluctantly agrees.

Sam and Dean blow town. In another town, Dean sends Sam into a motel office to get them booked and makes up an excuse to drive off on his own. He tracks Amy to her motel room.

Dean confronts her. “People...they are who they are.” Dean paints her as a killer who will kill again someday - it’s only a matter of time. And then he stabs her. Her kid, Jacob, walks in to find Dean standing over his mother’s body. (This episode always wounds me because Dean is so messed up but determined that his judgment is the only one intact. This scene does such a great job of turning this vigilante hunter show into something brutal and incredibly tragic.)

Dean interrogates Jacob and tells him that if he kills anyone, then Dean will kill him. There’s only one person Jacob plans to kill, and that’s Dean. (I’m still patiently waiting for Dabb to bring this story around again.)

In the convenience store where Sam and Dean bought newspapers, a leviathan updates the head office about his Winchester hunt right before he pours molten cheese over the desk clerk and eats him.

_________________________________________________________________

Don’t Worry, Everything’s Quotey, Captain:

They still making spleenburgers?

Hey, look, a monster broke my leg

Do you see any other strange charges on your statement? The May 27th charge to "Mistress Magda," perhaps? Oh. Sorry for asking.

Where's the pie?

All the coolest people are freaks

I’ve been around enough bad to know good when I see it.

Plain old people taste fine, but everything is better... with cheese.

_________________________________________________________________

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hilda/raphael

c-a support + paired ending

c

Raphael: Right, then this goes here. Hilda: Hello, Raphael! H: What exactly are you doing with that piece of wood? R: Hey, Hilda! I'm just doing this! Hyaaah! H: With your bare hands! Impressive that just the outer ring is left. It makes quite a nice circle. R: Yeah! I just gotta polish it up and paint it, then the base of the necklace will be ready. H: Sorry, did you say "necklace"? R: How’s it look? I bet it's the right size too. And this tree bark smells amazing! R: Now I just need to carve these boar tusks to hang from it. H: Boar tusks? R: I almost forgot! I was going to add these wolf claws too. And I could even add some color to them... H: And wolf claws?! R: Huh? Is something wrong, Hilda? H: That necklace! It has a certain, ah, rustic charm? R: You’re right, it really does! Want me to make you one while I'm at it? H: Oh no! I wouldn't want to trouble you. Besides, I think it would look better on you than on me. R: It would definitely look good on me, but this one's actually a birthday present for my little sis. H: For your sister?! I mean, ah... H: Don't you think she might like something more feminine? Something cute! R: Something cute? What's wrong with something tough and rugged? This necklace is gonna have tusks and claws and stuff! H: But girls don't usually go for tusks and claws and stuff. There should be flowers, or gems, or... H: Here, I can talk you through it. If you're making a necklace for your sister... H: You might try putting a pretty little flower in a small crystal bottle, and sealing it with resin. R: If you say so. But where would I find a flower that was pretty enough? H: Oh, honestly, I don't know much about flowers. But, hm, now that I think about it... H: I remember hearing about a splendid flower that only blooms near Fódlan's Throat. R: Fódlan’s Throat? That's on the eastern edge of the Alliance! I'd have to leave now if I'm going to make it back in time. H: Huh. Yeah, that does seem like a bit of a stretch. OK, let me think... H: Um, where'd he go? Well, no matter.

——————————————————————————————

b

H: Who is it? R: It’s me! Raphael! H: Oh, Raphael! I'll get the door. H: What are you up to? Oh, whoa! H: What an enormous crate! And look what's in it. Crystal vials, shiny rocks... R: And I got this too! H: Aw, what a splendid flower, and so fresh! H: Hey, wait a second, is that for your sister? R: Yeah, I finally got my hands on "something cute," just like you suggested. H: That's so nice! But...wait a second. Is this that flower from Fódlan's Throat? R: Of course! I had to run to make it back in time. It was a lot farther than I thought! H: You ran all that way? And while we're on the topic, aren't these Almyran crystals? H: Such fine carvings on them! They must be the work of a true artisan. It couldn't have been easy getting your hands on these. R: I figured I should follow your advice! You know more about what's stylish than I ever could. H: Well done. I'm sure your sister will be pleased. All that's left is to make that necklace! R: Yeah, about that... R: I don't know how to put it together! I've spent so long trying to figure it out that the flowers have started wilting... R: There are only a few nice ones left. H: Huh. That's not good. H: I could try telling you how to make it, but you can't afford to lose any more flowers... H: Oh, all right. Looks like it's Hilda to the rescue! I'll take it from here. R: Seriously?! You're really gonna help me? H: Sure! I make myself things from time to time. And this is definitely easier than teaching you how. H: But you owe me for this! I expect to be paid back. R: Don’t you worry about that! I'll find something really nice to pay you back with. H: It couldn't have been easy finding all these trinkets. He must really love his sister. H: Still, older brothers can be so dense.

——————————————————————————————

a

H: Hey, Raphael. I finally finished that necklace for you. Here you go. R: Huh. Oh! Whoa! This is incredible! And so shiny! R: You’re like an artist, Hilda! How did you do this?! H: Just like I told you. I put the flowers and the shiny rocks in a bottle, and then poured in some resin to preserve everything. H: I thought the flowers you had were looking a little pathetic, so I added a few of my own. H: It was hard work, making sure the flowers and the stones were spread evenly, getting rid of the air bubbles... R: What’s this? The part you hang around your neck? I thought you'd use the one I gave you... H: Oh, yeah, no. That's a cord I braided. I was going to use metal, but some people are allergic to metal, so I figured, better safe than sorry. H: Anyway, you didn't give me much to work with, and look what I pulled off! I'm a miracle worker. R: It’s gorgeous! Beautiful! I've never seen anything like it! Thank you, Hilda! H: Whoa, hold up, what's with the blubbering? R: It’s just... I bet my sister never got anything so pretty in her whole life! R: She’s had to deal with so much because of me! I never got her anything this nice and cute before! R: She’s gonna love it...and be so happy... H: Ah, um, OK. Yes, OK, that's enough. Come on, you're embarrassing me here... H: If you're really that happy, I'm glad I put some effort into something. For once. R: Don’t— Don't you always put effort into things? H: Hah! That's sweet of you, but no. I don't want to put in effort and then disappoint people. It's dispiriting, not to mention tiring. R: But what if they're not disappointed? Then they'd feel great and you'd feel great too! H: Yeah, you have a point there. I guess I'm realizing that now. H: You know, thanks to you, I'm starting to see things from my brother's perspective. R: What do you mean? Do you have a big bro too? H: I do. I've always thought of him as an overprotective nuisance, but now I feel thankful. H: Looking at you, I couldn't help but think, "Eh, sometimes big brothers are OK." R: I didn't do anything special though. It's natural for a big bro to look after his little sis. R: Oh! That reminds me! I still haven't found anything special enough to repay you for the necklace. R: I got an idea though. How about I help you make a tough looking necklace for your big bro? H: No need. I have a better idea. H: When the war's simmered down, why don't you and your sister come visit me? R: Really? That's it? H: Yeah, I want to make sure it suits her. And then I can adjust the cord, if I need to. R: Of course we'll come visit! I told my sis all about you and she already wants to meet ya! H: Well, good. I look forward to it. In the meantime, hold me close to your heart. R: Uh…what? H: That's what the necklace would say, if it could talk! "Hold me close to your heart."

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paired ending

Raphael returned to his hometown, where he served his liege lord as a knight for a time. Later, he gave it up to help manage the inn that his family had opened up during his time away. One day, to the great joy of Raphael's sister, Maya, Hilda came to visit. Maya had always treasured the necklace Hilda had made for her. Moved by this, Hilda gave Maya a new gift of a hair band, which inspired Maya to suggest that Raphael convert the inn into an accessory shop. Hilda decided to stay and help out, and eventually became the shop's proprietor and chief artisan. She moved in with Raphael, and the two spent their lives happily dealing in fashionable accessories.

I Got a Premonition that Tonight is Getting Strange (Arthur Curry/Aquaman)

Allie walked through the door of her old home town pub that she hadn’t been in since she was way younger than she should’ve been. She looked around at the “fisherman chic” decor that hadn’t changed since she had left. She took a breath and made her way to the bar. The bartender had her back to her, so he didn’t immediately see that she had sat down. Her usual spot felt almost comforting if it weren’t for the sense of whiplash she felt being there. The wood was scored the same from the knives she had scratched into it, the seat felt different from the crease she had carved when she was younger, and the pens and paint marks were still there from when she had finished school projects there. The bartender turned around and looked in awe at Allie.

“Baby sis you’ve gotta be kidding,” The bartender, or more accurately her older brother Mark said with awe.

“What? Thought I wouldn't come?” She asked with a sly smirk. Mark got out from behind the bar and hugged her tight.

“No, it’s just… life’s been so weird since you left.” He said.

“Yeah I heard.” She said with a chuckle. “Sounds like we’ve got a celebrity.” She remarked as she let him go back to his job. Their tiny town of Amnesty Bay had made headlines recently for being the hometown a superhero. She had only heard bits and pieces, but she knew the media called him “Aquaman” and conspiracy theorists thought he was from Atlantis. Amnesty Bay knew his name was Arthur Curry and as far as they knew, human.

“Didn’t you two date?” He asked. Allie felt the blood and warmth rush to her cheeks. She quickly hid it by running her hand through her hair.

“No, the thought didn’t even cross my mind. You know how I am about relationships.” Allie lied as her brother made her a rum and coke. The thought had crossed her mind. Multiple times. Though she never wanted to admit to herself or anyone.

“Yeah, yeah, “if you wanna be my lover, you have to tell me in exact words because I am oblivious.”” He said verbatim from her old mantra when they were in high school. “I am glad you’re back home though. Haven’t seen you in ages baby sis.” He added. Allie rolled her eyes at being called baby sister again. They were only a year apart, but she got the “baby” label.

“Whatever old man, just wish it were for circumstances that didn’t involve you getting married...” She replied. The duo went silent for a moment as Mark rolled her eyes handed her drink over to her.

“You know she’s not that bad once you get to know her.” He replied.

“Well, you guys didn’t really make an effort to come out and introduce her to me.” She stated. Mark conceded and she smirked. She made a gestures in cheers and took a sip of her drink. She found herself not flinching at the taste. Her older brother had remembered she liked more coke in her rum in coke. Truth was she had never gotten drunk because she couldn’t stand the taste of straight alcohol. Didn’t stop her in college and even late high school, but when you grow up in and around a bar, the idea of getting blackout drunk doesn’t really appeal as much. She watched her brother as she took care of the other patrons around the immediate bar. Allie zoned in and out, running her fingers over the carvings in the bar. They were stupid, but they made her smile a little on the inside. A sign that no matter how much she had changed; this place would be here. Hell, this place could probably survive the apocalypse. She wouldn’t put it past the place. When she came zoned back into her present space, or perhaps what had caused her to zone back in, was the sudden appearance of someone who the bar greeted fondly. Someone sat down next to her and initially she didn’t pay them any mind, if they were a problem, Mark would warn her.

“Mark, how’s the evening treating you?” The person asked. She smiled a little at that. His voice was deep and kind, she recognized it, but she didn’t know where from, seeing as he knew her brother’s name was as good as a sign as any that he was a regular.

“Well it improved with your arrival.” Mark joked as he put a beer down. The man laughed, seemingly catching on her brother’s subtle innuendo.

“What would your fiancée think?” He said.

“Ah, for you Arthur, I think she’d understand.” Mark replied. Allie felt her hair stand up. Arthur? Their local celebrity superhero, her for a period of time unadmitted crush (junior year was a dark time, and he gave the best hugs when one is coming out of a bathroom post crying session, not to mention the handful classes they had together and him going out of his way to bond with her when he could). Allie glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and was greeted with an arm covered in tattoos and about the size of her head and the guy attached had thick curly hair tied up in a bun and a beard. She looked down at her glass and would’ve downed it, had there been anything in it.

“Big bro, what’s a girl gotta do to get a refill? Turn into a burly super hero?” She joked. Mark rolled her eyes.

“And here I thought I was gonna give you an employee discount.” He said.

“Hey, I’m still on the payroll, I’ll give myself a discount thank you very much.” Allie replied. She felt Arthur’s eyes on her.

“Oh no you will not.” Mark replied as he placed a new drink in front of her. “Arthur, you remember my baby sister Allie.” Mark said causing Allie to have to acknowledge Arthur sitting next to her. She turned slightly in her stool and offered her hand.

“Yeah, I remember you. You nearly tore Mrs. Ball’s head off verbally for a year in World History.” Arthur said with a smile and accepting her hand. Allie felt her cheeks glow red, of course that would be the thing he remembers about her, it’s not like she did much else (though she would forever be proud of the event in question).

“That would be me. Nice to see you again Arthur.” She said. The door opened again, and Allie barely looked over her shoulder to see the woman in the power suit to match it to the pictures Mark had sent.

“Mark, I thought you were supposed to be off work already?” She said, Julia Moore, soon to be Julia Wilson. Allie tried not to grimace too much at her voice. It reminded her of something out of a bad rom com.

“Sorry baby, but my switch hasn’t come yet.”

“Yeah it has.” Allie said. Mark looked to her and she felt Arthur’s gaze on her as well. “Bro, get out from behind the bar and go hang out with your fiancée.” She stated. Mark reluctantly came out from behind the bar, and when the siblings passed each other, they did their secret sibling handshake that Mark had made her make with him when they were 10 and 9 respectively. Allie then proceeded to tie up her hair that wasn’t shaved into a messy bun on the top of her head. Julia looked at the woman now behind the bar.

“Did I hear you address him as “bro”?” She asked. Mark slapped his forehead.

“Julia, this is Allie, she’s my baby sister. Allie, this is Julia in person.” He said. Allie reached her hand across the bar and offered it to her soon to be sister in law. Julia shook it.

“Thank you for doing this for Mark.” She said.

“Hey, it’s my family bar too.” Allie said. Arthur looked at the two of them, trying to make heads or tails of the whole situation. “See you guys at rehearsal yeah?” She said. Mark laughed and waved to her as the two left the bar. Allie promptly got to work, learning everyone’s orders and what round everyone was on. She returned to in front of Arthur who was looking at her with slight confusion. “What?” Allie asked.

“Did he say, “in person”?” Arthur asked.

“Yeah, Julia’s schedule is hectic as hell and I don’t exactly live around here, so they never got around to visiting me before they got engaged. So, I only know about her through photos, text descriptions, and as a voice in the background of FaceTime calls.” She said, listing things off on her fingers. Arthur’s eyebrow raised and he took a swig of his beer.

“And based off of that, what do you think of her?” He asked. Allie furrowed her brow and took care of some customers before returning to the question.

“She’s… alright. I don’t know anything about her other than she works for an ad firm but has enough seniority to work from home, and she wants to be there for whatever kids they have. I don’t like her voice. But other than that, she seems, fine. I find it odd that my brother is marrying outside this town. I figured if he was gonna get married, he would marry someone from here.” Allie said.

“You have a favorite ex?” He asked. Allie laughed.

“Oh yeah, Janet. They dated from sophomore year to the end of the summer senior year. I was convinced for the longest time that she was gonna be on the other end of the aisle walk. Plus! She was the only one of his girlfriends who bothered getting to know me.” Allie said.

“I remember them. I remember when someone told me they had broken up they finished the statement “so clearly love is dead now.”” He said with a hearty chuckle. Allie smiled, that didn’t surprise her. She remembered being teary about it. Especially since she and Janet didn’t stay in contact as much as she would have. “There was a rumor at one point you weren’t gonna come to the wedding.” Arthur said. Allie cleaned some glasses and rolled her eyes.

“God, a girl is bad at RSVPing and suddenly her brother starts town gossip.” Allie said. “I didn’t even consider for a second not coming to my brother’s wedding. Wouldn’t miss it for the world. I am very bad at time management and spaced RSVPing until literally 11:56 before the day change where I pinged my brother and said “yes I’m coming. No, I don’t have a plus one.”” She stated. Arthur chuckled and took note of her saying she didn’t have a plus one. “I assume you’re going,” she said.

“Yeah, I’m one of his groomsmen.” He said. Allie raised her eyebrow as she tried to imagine Arthur in a suit. She saw a lot of sad fabric trying to hold it together and at least one button bailing before it was too late. She shook the thought out of her head and took care of some more customers. She poured Arthur another beer and then leaned against the back counter. She watched as he did, surveying the bar and feeling a bit at home. A man in a business suit came in as well as an older woman who was trying to look younger than she was. They came up to the bar but didn’t sit down. Allie furrowed her brow and looked at Arthur, mouthing a “do you know these people?” Arthur shook his head and Allie wandered over to where they were, putting on her best customer service voice.

“Hi, welcome. Can I get something started for you?” She asked.

“Yes hi, are you Allie Wilson?” The older woman asked. Allie furrowed her brow and looked at the couple suspiciously.

“Who’s asking?” She asked.

“I am Mary Moore, I’m Julia’s mother.” She said. Allie allowed her form to ease now that she knew she wasn’t in any immediate danger.

“Pleasure to meet you Mrs. Moore, what can I do for you?” Allie asked with a little less of her customer service voice.

“We wished to talk to you about the wedding.” She said. Allie went back to being confused.

“What do you mean? I know nothing about the wedding.”

“We noticed that you RSVPed without a plus one,”

“Yeah, I don’t really… date.” Allie said. She picked up a glass to clean so she was still being productive.

“Well you are the only one without one, I’m going to ask you to find one.” She stated in a matter of fact tone. Allie’s eyes went wide.

“Excuse me?”

“We look forward to meeting the lucky man.” She said as she and presumably her husband left the bar. Allie had the sudden urge to tear out her own hair. Or strangle someone. She turned to Arthur.

“Did you know about this?” She asked.

“Yeah, Mark mentioned something about it. Julia’s family’s big on balance or something so everyone was asked to bring an opposite gender plus one.” He said. Allie rolled her eyes.

“And he didn’t feel the need to tell me?”

“You RSVPed so late, I don’t think it was high on his priority list. Plus, you’re his sister, I have a feeling that he knew that this would be your reaction.” Arthur defended her brother. She groaned and dropped her head to the bar briefly.

“How the hell am I gonna find a date in two days?” She asked.

“I don’t wanna be too forward,” Arthur started to say.

“If you’re about to propose faking as each other’s plus ones you better have a damn good pitch.” Allie said. Arthur laughed.

“I’m just saying, we kill two birds with one stone,”

“She said everyone had a plus one,”

“Yeah well my plus one is more of “proof of me having one” than an actual plus one.”

“So, you don’t have one, but told them you did?” Allie asked.

“Yeah exactly.” Arthur said. Allie laughed and rolled her eyes.

“Alright Curry, count me in. On one condition:”

“Shoot,”

“We have to let Mark in on it,”

“Fine by me.”

After the bombshell was dropped on them, the rest of the night was quiet and peaceful. Allie closed up shop and Arthur left to go settle some last-minute things. Allie locked up with the key her father made her carry on her at all times and then she proceeded to call Mark. One ring, two rings…

“Hello?” Mark said his tone a little groggy.

“When were you going to tell me about the whole “Everyone must have a plus one?”” Allie demanded. Mark groaned but chuckled a little.

“Mary told you? I wasn’t gonna force it on you baby sister. But apparently Mary is instant the whole wedding will have “bad omens” if the guest list isn’t perfectly balanced.”

“You do realize you are spewing horseshit right now, right?” She asked. Mark laughed on the other end of the line.

“Yeah I know, but Mary’s paying for the whole thing and keeps throwing tantrums every six minutes about tiny details.” He said. “So, who are you gonna call in on such short notice?”

“Arthur.”

“Curry?”

“No, Arthur Dayne, of course Arthur Curry!” Allie snapped.

“He already RSVPed with a plus one,”

“Apparently his was fake so he agreed to take me in a sort of “fake dating” scenario.”

“Think you can pull it off?”

“Oh yeah, it’s not like it’s something I’ve been mentally practicing since I was sixteen or anything.” Allie remarked. She groaned, oh this was gonna kill her. “You so owe me for this brother.” She added.

“Made a note of it baby sister. Get some sleep.” He said. Allie hung up and sighed. She then got into her car and drove back to where she was staying for the weekend.

Two days passed and the wedding was upon them. Allie had shown up in the dress she was forced to wear by the dress code, another proof against “bad omens”, and she found herself stressing out a little. Her brother was getting married. There was something jarring about that. They were only a year apart and were so close before real life got in the way that when he had told her he was going to propose she didn’t believe him. Her brother? The guy who went through three shirts in the morning and couldn’t put his phone on shuffle ever? That guy was getting permanently attached to someone for better or for worse? The concept seemed entirely foreign to her. She was starting to wonder if she was going to have to find her seat (the other thing about this new age wedding, assigned seats) on her own, when Arthur jogged in through the front door. He wore a suit, which was so drastically different from his t-shirt in jeans that Allie felt the urge to brace against something, but still had little hints it was still him. From his hair in a bun, the jade around his neck, and the absurd amounts of rings on his fingers, he was still Arthur Curry. Just in a suit for the day.

“Hey sorry, the groomsmen needed to meet before the wedding.” He said. He pulled her into a hug and suddenly Allie felt like she was sixteen again. “Go with it,” he whispered in her ear. He then pressed a kiss to her temple and for the rest of the conversation, had her pulled into his side.

“Right, I’m gonna go get in my assigned seat because that isn’t bonkers or anything.” Allie said. Arthur chuckled and gave her a squeeze.

“You do that, the real challenge will be the reception.” He said.

“Oh yeah,” Allie muttered. Arthur released her and went back to where the groomsmen were. Allie’s side still felt like the pressure and heat were there. This man was going to ruin her, she could tell.

The ceremony was nice enough. A bit too “new age” and about 20 minutes too long. But by the end of it, in the eyes of the State of Maine, her brother was married. The multiple parties got into their cars and drove to the restaurant they were hosting the reception at. Allie thought about how she had only been a handful of times when she was younger and usually with Mark or their father. It felt odd coming here with so many strangers. It was in this moment Allie realized that her moving away had really isolated her, both from her brother and her hometown. She wasn’t the lead singer in a pop punk band, she didn’t hate the place. But it just seemed small compared to whatever she was going to do with her life. So, she watched the merry making of the wedding. Her brother seemed genuinely happy and for that she couldn’t be happier. Arthur came over to her side and wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into his side.

“I’m happy for him. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” Allie stated.

“I wouldn’t imagine anyone saying that,” Arthur said.

“Mary’s glaring at us like that’s what she wants to say.” Allie remarked. Arthur chuckled and stepped into her line of sight.

“Then don’t think about her,” He said. Allie looked up at him and was greeted with a smile that could put bottled sunshine to shame if that was even a thing. “C’mon, let’s dance.” He said. He took her hand and the duo wandered onto the makeshift dance floor that had a handful of other couples there. Arthur held her and Allie tried her best. But the height difference between them was edging on comical. Arthur chuckled softly at this as they swayed to the soft music. Allie seemed completely content in that moment. But something was nagging in the back of her brain, something that she couldn’t stop thinking about.

“Hey Arthur,” she probed. He looked down at her, “why cook up this fake dating plot?” She asked. He lightly chuckled.

“Your brother was right you are oblivious as sin.” He said. Allie furrowed her brow.

“Wait, you’ve been flirting with me?” She asked.

“Did so for four years. Thanks for noticing.” He joked. Allie let her forehead drop to his chest as he laughed a little.

“Don’t worry, it was an enlightening experience.” He said.

“Why didn’t you just ask me out you idiot?” She asked.

“At the time? Lack of confidence and fear. Now, distance and my side hustle.” He said. Allie rolled her eyes.

“For your reference. I would have and still would say yes.” She stated.

“Then Allie, wanna go out some time?” He asked.

Allie popped up on her tiptoes and pecked his cheek. “Sure, count me in fish dude.”

Fright Night - 1985 - 3.5/5

Highly oversimplified fun ‘modern’ teen adventure book-style take on Dracula - i think?

i am having a fuckking awful night please let this be half okay at least funny like please. right we have some poor audio. tom holland is here? some chick is going on about how much she likes the dark - she’s mina? pale, red lips peeps are making out - it’s just someone squeaking their lips together and then letting go lmao wtf - it’s a tv show about vampires lol this acting is amazing i think its supposed to be he literally just went after her with the blunt end of the stake damn. some more squeaking kisses gross. kids making out, peter vincent is on TV or some shit. boyfriend has wandering hands and she’s told him twice to stop and now he’s bitching at her for not letting him feel her up and then she apologises? excuse me? and now he’s guilted her into doing it? oh damn that’s a nice chocolate coffin where’d he get those binoculars ahaha oh yikes that girl is not ready and now he’s ignoring her oh what is happening. mum’s getting involved. he wanted to fuck she didn’t then she wanted to fuck and he was distracted by some guys carrying a coffin into the basement of the house next door. he’s so distracted he’s completely ignoring his girlfriend.oh damn he pissed off his friend too this guy seems like a dumbass. ew gross oh my god she’s dressed like a prostitute what is that blue thing and the opaque beige hosiery is horrific. it’s funny at this point lots of these clothes are coming back into fashion. then there are those of course that must die and stay dead. damn a big ol scream from the house next door and a light went out. fuckin hell he wait she’s apologising for his  dumbass and said it’s her fault and he’s like yeah i suppose it was like what. i know this is supposed to be like this like he’s clearly supposed to be a terrible boyfriend but fuck he is barely pretending to care about her - he said ‘i love you’ and she’s gooing all over him. now he’s ignoring her again and here’s his weird looking friend who thinks its hilarious oh my god she slapped a hamburger cheese onion and tomato hamburger patty on his face disgusting but damn he deserves it. whoop a guy in the basement just saw this kid snooping - is he seriously just gonna open this guy’s basement doors unsurprisingly dude came and snapped at him like wtf you think you’re doing. he’s obsessed with this house all of the sudden? eating chips at his window with his binoculars. now asleep in that chair and hot damn there’s a couple about to fuck  and tittiiiiiieesssssss. oh damn mate is a vampire looking straight at the kid through the window. just staring. then closes the window with long ass fingers with long yellow nails. just woke his mum up like ma new guys a vampire and she’s like fuck off and he’s sneaking about outside what the hell is this kid on. oh they’re carrying out bodies in garbage bags and what i think they’re trying to show they’ve got sick powers or something there’s this synth beat in the background those are the largest collar flap things i’ve ever seen and that red scarf is sick a lot is happening bro red scarf dude just caught annoying kid charlie spying at them from the hedges. oh shit he’s screaming at his mother and his girlfriend what an ass - Amy is obsessed with their relationship, Mum thinks he’s having a nightmare. he’s the dumbass in the horror movie - running around screaming, telling everyone the guys a vampire killing people getting the police involved like dumbass what teh fuck this is gonna be embarrassing you think if they really are vampires they’re gonna be dumb enough to let themselves get caught. oh what he’s yelling again and interesting there’s a painting of a blonde version of Amy. is this dracula 1980s version. the house is all cobwebs and old timey shit. dumbass getting screamed at by the cop for screaming about his neighbour being a vampire he’s got no evidence but just keeps screaming. you deserve to die like 0% self-preservation skills m8. is he racing home no to his friend’s house his weird friend who’s somewhat more mental than this dumbass - give him eight bucks to tell him how to protect himself from a vampire attack he’s listing off stereotypical shit but i doubt any of this will be legit they all like dangling those and scoffing at them. he’s nailing his window shut but hey guess who mum’s invited innnnnnnnnn ahahahahahahah lol oh damn who sits in a chair like that well hello bruce banner hot edition. hm his fingers look normal now. aahahhaha oh fuck he out here telling charlie he wouldnt have come to visit unless he had been invited and now that he had been he would be over whenever he liked. charlie the dumbass is not trying to hide how terrified he is out here backing away, eyes wide, shaking, Jerry the vampire just staring at him. 'see ya! soon.’ scrambling up the stairs - like just mayyyyybe you shouldn’t have immediately done all you can to piss off the guy you think is a vampire. cause now he’s on your roof. i can’t believe his name is Jerry. this is so 80s. this music man. who chills in a button up shirt all tucked in . is that a mouse? or the trees scratching oh shit jerry’s after the mum. or not. oh fuck there’s no reflection in the mirror and he just broke her door? oooop he’s in dumbass’ roommmm or is he - yep he was hiding in the closet???? is this a metaphor??? howdily hoodily. oh damn yeeted him into his closet. they’re not giving bruce banner very good camera angles. we’re only 30 minutes in and he and the vampire are chilling out, being held up by his throat - ohh broody vampire time. bruce no don’t throw him out the window that’s so obviousoh but damn there’s he’s gonna stake him with a pencil ahaha what oh fuck nosferatu time damn all because of a pencil fuck that is not sexy. he looks like a lord of the rings troll. they both look hella nervous that mum’s knocking on the door. he threatened to kill him, offered him a choice for them to forget each other, he said nah, he tried to kill him, he stabbed him with a pencil, then he roared all scary and buggered off. odd. now he’s just sat down and watched some–dracula ahaha he’s watching dracula? now he’s calling him up ahaha staring at him through the window calling him up on the phone. 'you started this - im gonna finish it!’ like calm down vampire man the boy is a dumbass. this is cheesy but like okay. he legit seems like a proper dumbass teenager kid all overexcited and dramatic and learning all he knows from TV oh damn he’s like a school shooter, wife beater kinda kid though. ahah shitting on friday the 13th calm down that’s a good movie. does this peter vincent actually believe in vampires cause this kid is hoping he does - he’s got those brown elbowed jacket how old is this high school aged kid. ejesus what the fuck is that moped holy shit. white sneakers that blue knitwear holy shit what the fuck what the fuck charlie dead eyes, monotone sitting in his bedroom he’s filled with religious paraphernalia, dozens of candles and stacks of wood he’s carving into stakes - his GF and friend come in like yo wtf m8 what is all this - he just shrugs and tells em he’s gonna go next door and stab the neighbour. um what the fuck jesus hes crazy he’s weird friend who can’t act thinks so too and eyy the peter vincent late night show is called 'Fright Night’ and the weird kid just said their situation is just like 'Fright Night’ and guess what this movie is called – this is pretty intense like how am I supposed to be taking this is it funny, is it dramatic? this kid looks like he’s gonna pass out he’s having some sort of episode. 'hey amy, you don’t believe me do you.’ 'i love you charlie.’ hm vincent knows whats up amy and weird kid go to see him to help their crazy friend and he’s like oh yeah that insane kid he needs a psychiatrist yo ahaha gets fired gets an eviction notice refuses to help the kids cause he’s very busy about to get rich she’s like i’ll pay you - how much he asks immediately - she tells him—i’ll take it, no hesitation ahaha we’re not even half in? oh damn vincent is in love with his acting i think his shows used to be a lot more popular and now he’s sad and fading and ey its bruce banner all bedraggled they literally called him up to ask if they could go over with dumbass and prove to him brucey boy is not a vampire he thinks its hilarious like damn just calling up vampires and shit i love it so casual like he’s just a neighbour not all heavy handed but needs a little less cheese but eh who can find a golden middle did he just eat a banana. holy hot damn her outfit - he’s outfit, holy shit vincent is here all in his role dressed as the vampire killer, performing for dumbass - damn the house does look appropriately spooky tho god this kid doesn’t shut up they all just wandering into the vampire’s house - Charlie gets a special greeting and here is ol mate all dramatic in a fucking turtleneck please kill me. he’s eating food again? whoop amy and bruce banner just had a moment she’s so pretty but her hair is so fukn eighties and now he’s kissing her hand and she’s giggling and biting her lip 'oh god, he’s neat!’ he didn’t drink that he totally used a tricky magic trick dunno how but he didn’t drink that. Charlie isn’t wrong - pulled out a cross and Bruce Banner jumped back and his jim carrey lackey stepped forward and Banner is threatening his friends like fuck off - 'so you’re finally convinced im not a vampire?’ *completely insincerely, through his teeth* 'yes.’ oh damn all was well then vincent saw he had no reflection - let’s call the police! broody vampire time oh damn found some glass from the mirror. lol that’s the creepiest alley 'pencil dick’ 'chicken shit’ nice. ahaha weird kid giving him shit 'fruitcake’ i hope he leaves him alone like surely its in his best interest to leave the guys who are convinced he’s not a vampire to live? the way he’s dragging amy around is pretty messed. it doesn’t make sense for the weird kid to die. like he doesn’t believe mate is a vampire. but now he will so? that trenchcoat is horrific the shoulders are like double his width he’s just slow walking toward him while weird kid is scrambling about tripping over rubbish but now he’s trappeeddddd #leaveweirdkidalone  oh damn nvm he’s bruce banner’s redfield and he’s going under the trenchcoat, pressed to banner’s chest. we’re only halfway through where is this all going. oh ahaha they’re doing the lets run as fast as we can and ol mate keeps strolling out in front of us and now they’re in a bar oh god now he’s calling the police. whoop oh damn weird kid’s a vampire ahahahahahahaha oh shit leather jacket fucked up hair jerky movements - oh damn just took a cross to the face - can still cry human tears sweating like crazy, yellow eyes, crosses fuck em up and out the window he go ahaha lol he’s calling the cops a fucking gain god he’s so rough with her now bruce banner s in the club god he’s really not that attractive like at all - he’s got a good brow and hair but that’s it. he’s not intimidating, he doesn’t stand out holy fuck that lady in red - the platinum blonde. just strolling closer and closer, left to right right to left and dumbass is just on the phone and Amy is like hell yeah licking her lips his lower jaw is like broken the way it moves. He didn’t have to touch her for her to stop she’s in a daze under his spell and he knows she can’t escape it, rubbing her hand on his ass lol what the fuck putting his on her’s oh he pulled back her collar and went to bite and she jerked back but not in a scared more like a fuck off now what you thinkin boii challenge eyes uh oh both of their collarbones are exposed and my god she’s tiny and making out with his chest and what the fuck oh just on her knees thought she was going down on him in the middle of the club dumbass is all upset that the girl he’s been dragging around and leading on and treating badly is chilling in the arms of a vampire who, if nothing else, is indeed more handsome than dumbass but at the same time he’s a vampire and I think Amy is in highschool so that makes her what?? oh fuck bruce banner killed the two black bouncers in front of the whole club now there’s chaooooos people screaming  amy and charlie separated in the crowd, bruce banner scoops her up 'AAAAMYYYY’ stretches a hand out dramatically toward her damn weird kid got weirder ahaha what is happening this is actually really great. god he’s whiny. it’s so good. people are fucking calling the police left right and now dumbass has finally figured they won’t believe him or help him. oh lil mate peter vincent is like a proper good actor where did they get him amongst these screaming children. 'amy is gonna die, me too probably’ lol this writing oh damn she wakes on a fur blanket in front of a fire in a white dress that permed hair is so fucked there’s paintings of pretty ladies all around and one of them is blonde amy and there he is with his shirt unbuttoned pants buckled up to the navel like damn, dark hair all ruffled - hs head is too big for his shoulders ew what is this kiss she’s shaking with fear, he is like almost crying for some reason and now she’s okay and taking her titties out and coming after him  and here’s some weird slow kissing and damn he bit her damn wouldn’t you fuck first? fkn charlie in his professor jacket snooping about in the shadows with a big ugly gold cross on that house is perfectly spooky holy shit peter scared the fuck outta me damn he got a box of 'props’ which will actually work, got a gun to take care of billy or whatever, his human buddy they wanna sneak in but the front door opened for them oh damn don’t let anything happen to peter he’s precious. it’s like reading a teen adventure story - good simple but memorable characters, good story with lots going on, not deep or thought-inducing just a fun time  now here’s bruce 'welcome to Fright Night’ all chill just standing there in like a priest’s shirt? no bruce leave vincent alone. oh what the fuck making a weird moaning noise as he backs away from the cross - #leavevincentalone oh fuck weird kid is terrifying  wtf now he’s a wolf demon wolf ruff ruff puppyy oh shit he stabbed the puppy and it yeeted over the banister hit the chandelier and holy fuck that is the worst puppeteering attempt or whatever the fuck they’re going for ever - its a plush toy twitching out and now ewwwww what the fuck is that i thought vampires were vampires not like weird wolf gremlin things - its slowly dying with this stake in it, all thin fingers, whines, and cries holy shit this is taking a while. vincent is crying and holy shit its just weird kid crying with a big table leg in him and now he’s dead holy shit and the cross mark healed and he’s naked. bruce is oh fuck Amy is a vampire —“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!’ the drama. can you imagine walking into someone’s house and there’s a naked dead kid with a table-leg through his chest on the foyer floor. the house is pouring out dry ice and green lazer lights and vincent is back my brave boy, with a table-leg and a box all ready to fight. dumbass is struggling to cry over his girl. AMy is turning, I think bruce is making her a coffin. what here we go - everything is as it was in the movies like all the stereotypical shit so now they’re gotta kill Bruce before sunrise so she doesn’t fully turn. monotone - 'stop or i’ll shoot. don’t force me to shoot’ *shoots billy boy in the fkn head* orange eyes man whats with the weird groans and noises when flinching back from the crosses looks like billy boy aint dead after all holy shit blood everywhere yeah just keep shooting im sure that will help oh damn he the terminator - nope he a zombie fuck run don’t ust holy shit he staked him i thought vincent was gonna die he’s dripping green slime he’s got the ebola what the fuck ohmygod ohmygodholyfuckjesus christchrist fuck my god. well that was terrifying. move aside indiana jones . peter ahahah 'eeehhh’ of bruce chillin outside the window. he uses like fifty different voices and accents 'show me how much you love me amy, kill them both. rraaaargghhhh! *elbows a fkn wall* oh damn at least her gross perm is gone. rarrrrgh! *nervous cross and slow back out of the door* jesus what the fuck his bottom jaw is even worse now he just fkn crashed through the pretty round window.  that jacket damn i hate it so much. oh damn is that the sun? looks like the night is done dumbass and he believes he believes and damn that’s a lot of clocks chiming 6am i think it’s 6am. im sorry what the fuck was that did he just get sniped wat the fuck its a gremlin bat oh my god with fangs and shit its scratching him up oh no it bit dumbass what a shame and ohh he burning in green flame in the light of the sun but he fucked off to the basement where he gone vincent’s cut is gone and dumbass doesn’t seem too worried about his bitten arm. whoop it’s amy all wild hair and long white dress orange eyes, smoky lids, big ass fangs and red lips oh damn what the fucking shit 'it’s not my fault you promised you wouldnt let him get me you promised’ she cries then spins around and its actual fear in his eyes as he screams at the sight of her heavily fanged mouth that reaches from one side of her face to the other jesus cchrist that mouth is terrifying i really am not a fan damn yikes man run ew oh no everyone is in trouble, he is hammering that shit fuck everyone is all kinds of messed up these vampires would have them killed in a second this whole sunlight thing is bull - just cause his face is in the light doesn’t mean you can’t get their legs lol come on the disco-balls are shining and ol mate finally decides to try use his outfit - peter closed his coffin and now he’s trapped i kinda want one of them to die oh damn nvm green flame he went shooting and flying back with the force of that sunlight i think he’s dead 'reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’ damn what the hell is that skeleton 'AAAAAAMYYYYY’ he cried as he died like what some stories need more depth beyond hey i got a picture of someone who looks exactly like you, imma bite you cause now we’re in love, hey kill your ex to prove you love me, i love you and now im dead . oh god worst part is amy’s hair is back in that perm how the fuck. 'we’ve been going in a circle! we’re right back where we started from’ is the opening to the next scene which is dumbass and amy making out in his room - that’s fkn sick, again 'Fright Night’ is back on with ol mate peter vincent. oh no peter vincent on about aliens wait what was that red eyes in the window is ol mate still alive perhaps ew amy deserves better  but hey what the fuck weird kid survived?? oh he removed the stake damn ahaha. what a movie that was a pretty fun time = 3.5/5

VnC Liveblog - Chapter 9

.All chapter liveblogs are linked HERE.

Welcome to the flashback chapter. Fun and daises for everyone! 

...what’s that? We’re gonna get terrifying tragedy and endless heartache, not fun and daises? oh.

Well. Onward?

Last time on VnC, Vanitas was having sexy bloodtimes with Jeanne while Charlatan was digging through Noé‘s head for kicks and giggles.

And everything in Noé’s head, apparently, revolves around this kid named Louis, who happens to be Domi’s older brother. It is time, ladies and gents, to meet Unnerving Boy.

Look at these precious children, they hardly look creepy at all.

Teacher seems a bit flake-y, but he’s looking pretty good for a grandpa. (are some vampires immortal? how long do they live?)

So we know Teacher bought Noé, the last Archiviste, off the black market. Somehow, I don’t think it was because he just really wanted to adopt a kid. I mean, he’s already got two right there.

Oh my gosh, Domi is shy. And look at Noé clutching at Teacher’s arm, aw. Even Louis seems like a nice kid.

I take it back, LOUIS YOU ARE STILL CREEPY. AND KIND OF A JERK.

But he also knows Something is up about his grandfather. Teacher’s interest in Noé will probably not be a good thing for Noé himself.

The chapter is subtitled ‘Friends’ but like. I think you can find better friends than this Noé, I’m just saying.

Noé being raised by humans before this point is interesting. I’m guessing we’re in Averoigne, in the vampire world. (exactly how big is the vampire world...?) (and is the assumption here that vampires always give birth to other vampires?)

Note for Noé‘s timeline, as it seems likely to become important -- he was found in the human world crying by himself during winter when he was very young. Geez, that’s a mystery in itself.

Uh, humans aren’t the ones who regularly consume the bodily fluids of other people, buddy.

woah, Noé‘s got a good arm for a little kid, good job, Noé --

The adopted grandparents knew about vampires, hm? More specifically, they knew Noé was a vampire. Was this because they knew more about the situation than little Noé was aware, or was his nature just hard to hide when he was that young?

One thing is sure -- they treated him well.

He made Noé cry. Keep glaring at him, Domi. (I feel like this is the first inkling we’re getting of who Domi will become when she’s older.) (Actually. Current!Domi is a lot more like Louis than she is like past!Domi. Starting to wonder if that’s a deliberate change on her part, along with the more masculine clothes. She dose survive the massacre her brother dies in, after all, that has to have left an impression.)

And now we find out if it’s possible to guilt Louis into acting like a decent human vampire being.

Hey, it is! There’s hope for you yet, kid.

That last panel “I thought we’d be together forever, but...” has a double meaning. Noé’s talking about his grandparents (grandpa got sick and died, grandma passed in her sleep shortly after), but the narrative is whispering that it applies to this little trio, too.

1. Was Noé completely by himself after his grandparents died?

2. ...the vampires kidnap humans and force them into labor in the vampire world?? Blood source, too, I imagine.

3. Look at that bed, that bed is amazing. I want one.

4. The vampires don’t seem to have many compunctions about selling their own kind, either.

5. The background of the purchase scene is weird. Those are awfully fancy curtains. I’m thinking gaudy, horrifying auction.

Oh my god, this precious bean hasn’t changed at all.

So this is a very cute and humanizing moment for Louis, but it’s also a very Vanitas-ish moment. Vanitas does this, the unexpected and uncontrollable laughter thing, all the time. Which means I am now going to be looking for Vanitas parallels everywhere.

A bonding montage~

Louis turns into less of a jerk -- we see him helping Noé up into his tree and helping Noé with his reading. Domi delights in dressing Noé up in feminine clothes (reminding me of that little flashback of her teaching him to dance where she was dressed in masculine threads.) They even sleep in a cuddle pile with Domi curled up against Noé and Louis acting like he’s trying to put some distance between them but he’s still there, you aren’t fooling anyone, kid. (and he’s getting hit in the head by a sleeping Noé for his pains, heh.)

There’s one more picture: Teacher comes back with presents. Domi and Noé are cheering, but Louis wanders over all cool and disinterested. But remember what Louis said at the beginning of the chapter -- “Having my grandfather take a shine to you...you poor thing.”

Louis distrusts his grandfather. He knows something we -- and Domi and Noé -- don’t.

...yeah, that fun ain’t gonna last. Also, how much you want to bet the ‘secret base’ is gonna be where all the heads start rolling. (it’s chekov’s base!)

(are they playing dress up with Teacher’s clothes?)

Hey, Louis, you see how innocent and simple that blood exchange was? Unlike whatever it was you were doing in that other flashback.

Though we are seeing this from Noé‘s POV. The incidents might look different because Noé perceived them as being different, emotionally. It would mesh with how he sees Domi as ‘just a friend’ and Louis as this mysterious, complicated, unnerving, compelling tragedy who haunts him to this day. (also it’s pretty gay, lbr.)

Domi’s crush is so cute. And pfff, Louis, you thought you were gonna get out of it that easily, especially after you made fun of Domi like that? Nah, bro.

This is the point where we remember that Louis is just a little kid, too. One who has been dealt a crap hand we don’t know about yet, and is probably acting out in small ways in reaction to that.

This would be why Domi feels more sheltered than Louis. Though I do wonder, if Domi is making monthly trips, why isn’t sister Veronica shown, too?

Firstly, what the hell, family de Sade.

Secondly...this feels like one of those Sneaky Pages. I’m assuming that hand in the left most panel is Louis’ and that the last panel is those pages catching Louis’ (almost shaken looking) eye.

Lastly -- the kids are growing up. I’d guess we’re into the pre-teen years by now.

Noé, you’re making her dance under the symbol of the vampire bogeyman, have a care, would you.

We’ve seen this flashback before, too, so we’ve just about hit all of them. Except for, you know, the Big One.

(oh, no, wait, there was a mini-flashback of Noé training with Teacher, but he was a teen in that one. When did Noé start training? Why did Noé start training?)

Louis can see right through his grandfather, has ALWAYS been able to see right through him.

I’m glad that panel in the library was resolved so quickly, though. Saves me from going nuts about details, lol.

So this is a very Kid reaction to bad family news, but like, he might be right? Louis is cynical by nature, but also very sharp. If at this point he thinks his parents had Domi to replace him then -- I think I believe him.

Grandfather just fucking smiles at him. Grandfather is a dick.

And then the teeth come out.

“You have no luck. Having my grandfather take a shine to you...you poor thing.”

Look at those tendrils of darkness reaching out for Louis. And they’re coming from Grandfather.

Grandfather is sending a very clear message: he is here as an observer. Grandfather is not going to interfere with anything Louis wants to do. He’s not going to give him any help, either. And something bad is going to happen to Louis -- he’s going to do something bad. Louis now knows for sure that his family expects him to turn into a monster and not one of them is going to try to help him.

This whole bucolic paradise is an experiment with Louis as the test rat.

And why?

Because Louis is a curse-bearer from birth, or shortly thereafter. How did that happen? Why isn’t he showing any symptoms yet? The implication seems to be that he’s a ticking time-bomb, but is he?

(and if Louis is the test rat...does that mean Domi is the control?)

Noé says that after this day, little by little, Louis started acting (*cough*more*cough*) strange.

By which he means... Louis took up wood-carving? Louis is carving a piece of wood, Noé asks what he’s doing, Louis says it’s a secret.

The way to Noé‘s heart is through gifts, got it.

We know why Louis is acting this way, but Noé has no clue. But though Domi’s presence started to cause Louis pain, Noé doesn’t say anything about Louis taking it out on Domi herself, which is a big point in his favor, imo.

Unhealthy (?) coping mechanism, check.

The one person who tried to help him.

Louis was finally going to tell Noé what’s wrong with him.

I know I drag Louis a lot, but I do like him. He’s clever and dry and is so alone because the adults that were supposed to protect him wrote him off when he was days old.

Of course he came out weird and morbid. And unlike other characters I could mention (*cough*Vincent*cough*) he hasn’t resorted to taking his pain out on stuffed animals or cats or his little sister. This kid isn’t a lost cause at all, he’s just lost.

Those brittle edges can still cut though --

Aaaaaand here we go. This is what sets it all off, what brings the happy memories to an end.

Now that Domi’s older, I wonder...does she know Louis is a curse-bearer? Did someone finally tell her?

This is the thing Louis has been living with since he found those papers in the library. You know, on top of the whole “gonna turn into a rabid monster” thing.

But Noé, he can only read this as callousness toward their friend. He doesn’t know Louis is talking about himself.

Remember in Orlok’s office, when Noé snapped at the thought that they wouldn’t be able to save Amelia? How he did a complete 180 with Vanitas, making *him* come along with *Noé* because he was going to do what it took to save Amelia, no matter what?

Yeah. That reflex (and trauma, because he didn’t save Mina, did he) was born here.

(”save me, then, if you can”)

He doesn’t get to save Louis, either.

Berserk button that will shape Noé and follow him into adulthood: officially installed.

Domi chases Noé out of the room, saying she wants to help save Mina, too. She’s the one who comes up with the only plan they have, bare as it is -- they’ll ask the other village kids for help to somehow get Mina out of the village.

Oh hey, remember the secret base? As he asks around for where Noé and Domi went (the servants don’t know), he realizes that must be where they went with Mina.

“...they didn’t --!” he says once he’s figured it out.

Louis is frightened. And then...

Louis’ curse is manifesting. (that typesetting, though...some things don’t work across languages, YP)

And Mina’s curse manifests, too.

This is a classic zombie movie scene. The survivors don’t know they’ve let in an infected until it’s too late and they start to turn, taking bites out of everyone else.

Let’s run with the infection metaphor. For people like Amelia (and Mina? hard to say), Charlatan finds them and ‘infects’ them by corrupting their true name. Infection to manifestation doesn’t seem to take much time at all, maybe a few weeks.

But for people like Louis, who are born with the curse, it needs to be triggered by desperation or desire and may lay dormant for years.

It is Charlatan in his mind, though -- see the finger-claws? But I wonder if ‘Charlatan’ isn’t a single entity per se, but a creature more like PH’s Humpty Dumpty that is spread out among multiple hosts.

This desire and the manifestation of Louis’ curse is what Grandfather was waiting for. The most heartbreaking part of all this is that the desire that finally triggered it was Louis’ desperation to protect his friends.

Mina went full zombie and took a chunk out of Fred’s throat. She lunged for Noé and Domi, but was knocked aside. And then we see this -- Louis half turned, Mina’s ripped off head in his hand.

But look at his hands. Those claws remind you of anything? Say...Vanitas’ gloves?

The difference is, these claws are very real.

And now, Louis starts to lose control.

Out of his mind, he attacks Giles and Fanny, killing them as Noé watches in horror, unable to do anything.

He tries to get through to Louis, asking if Louis is doing this because Noé didn’t listen to him earlier (Noé.) and that he was sorry and he takes the blame, all he wants is Louis is to go back to normal again.

He knows what happened to him, he doesn’t want to be like this.

Were any of the other curse-bearers half this aware and coherent?

That’s his last wish. That’s his --

Nope, I’m sorry, I’m done, this is all terrible, goodbye.

of course he can’t do it, he’s like 12 and this is his best friend, this is a fucking tragedy

This flashback is painful, how long have they known each other? Five years, more? Half their lives?

....I’m just numb at this point

what the fuck was that

I knew that Louis died at the end of this, but who was that? The bourreau meant to come for Mina?

Grandfather is a piece of shit

(part of me wants to look at that last panel and make comparisons to that one early, creepy panel of Break with Gil and how Break ended up not being a bad guy, but no, no. Grandfather is a piece of shit. HE KNEW SOMETHING LIKE THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. HE WAS WAITING FOR IT.)

(I really wish I knew for sure what color that moon is. what if it’s blue? what would that mean?)

where is child services, please god, someone take these children away from this man and put them in therapy

ugh. alright. before we close, couple more things I wanted to think about.

1. Louis’ curse obviously worked much differently than the other curses we’ve seen. suppose that’s because his curse WAS different? could he have been another Blue Moon vampire, another Vanitas in the making?

(this bit is pure speculation, but I’ve been wondering if Vanitas’ gloves are an affectation he picked up from the Blue Moon Vampire, like the name, and now we’ve just seen Louis’ hands go full claw when the curse overcame him. could be a link between the two.)

2. We’ve seen how this incident has scarred Noé, but what about Domi? She was there but we haven’t really seen how -- ...oh. Oh, I forgot. It’s the clothes. Even the personality, a bit. Domi reacted to the violent death of her brother by trying to become more like him. She’s not entirely like him, she’s still Domi, but. Ugh. Ugggghhh. I already knew this, but I didn’t know it, ugh.

3. Grandfather/Teacher (I’ll go back to calling him Teacher after this chapter, I think) deliberately threw Noé and Louis together. Why, we don’t know. (part of me is thinking he’s using Noé the Archiviste as his freaking camera, but who knows.)

Here’s what we do know -- he is ALSO the one who threw Noé and Vanitas together. For some reason. (it won’t be a good reason)

4. Vanitas and Louis are distinct characters with a few striking similarities between them, but I think their biggest difference is that, underneath his manic energy, Vanitas is Tired™, while, under his morbidity, Louis is Tired of This Shit™. It’s a slight but important distinction.

5. Remember that look of wonder on Noé‘s face in chapter one when he saw that Vanitas could cure curse-bearers. Yeah. Yeah, that has a new layer to it now, doesn’t it.

And that’s it for chapter 9. Did you have fun? I did not have fun.

See you next time for chapter 10, folks.

(Chapter 10 now HERE.)