#at this point they need to be paying everyone’s therapy bills
Text
HELLO???
#someone find me this man#also WHAT did the team tell him ????#nwsl#jfc#at this point they need to be paying everyone’s therapy bills#the yates report
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
not to be will graham but I'm immune to therapy
#hdhdhd ok that's not completely true bc therapy did help/hopefully will help more#but I'm simply not capable of fully trusting and embracing the therapist and the therapy#like that's a person with her own personal motivations. and who needs to pay her bills like everyone else#whenever a therapist points out how important the therapy is for me I'm like miss thing.... I know you're with me for the money hdhd#tbt when a therapist said her office was a safe place where my father would never enter and I was like#omg she's establishing dependency just like hannibal!!! I've finally made it#<3
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:
A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would
B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be
C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)
And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"
Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!
Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.
Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.
Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.
Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.
Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?
Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
I still need help
Its now the 8th of January and despite being told by my friend who spoke with her boss 3 weeks ago during their meeting that he was to hire me in the beginning of January and would reach out to me, he hasn't. I'm hoping somehow, eventually, when this man finally bothers to, he will contact me for a job offer since he reassured me back in november that he still intends to hire me. But since I have no idea when that will be, that means I'm left hanging completely.
long story short I am mentally ill and disabled who was dismissed from my last and only job that I struggled 2 years to get, only to be fired in 2 months in June because of my chronic fatigue and abusive managers. I rely a lot on my henna but bookings are not consistent enough to make regular income, and majority of the money ends up going to contributing to house bills for my family.
My therapy picks up again this week, very honestly been the only thing keeping me from harming myself at this point with how painful life has been and I want to be able to continue getting it low cost (£25 per session), my therapist is so amazing and we recently came to the understanding that I have complex-PTSD, and plan to look into it more this year. I'm too mentally ill to try and look for jobs right now and am basically doing 3 jobs already (one being joint caring duties with family members for my grandparents since I live with them, which I'm not paid for obviously) with inconsistent money coming in/sessional work that I will be paid for once completed further into the year.
I have so many other costs that are coming in the near future, like paying for more medication, and for more lazer hair removal sessions for my severe hirsutism, which usually is around £300 if I'm lucky to catch offers. This is another I thing I mentally can't afford to stop doing, struggling with severe hirsutism and the trauma of it all my life means its important I can feel and live somewhat comfortably in my body. Lazer hair isn't permanent and I'm looking into electrolysis, but again, I don't have that money yet and would prefer to not leave a huge gap where I don't do lazer and the mental torture of watching my body hair grow back. I also haven't gotten my eyes checked in over 3 years, and know I will need a change in perscription and need new glasses. I hate nothing more than what its come to. I'm just exhausted and burnt out from the constant anxiety and depressive episodes, I'm barely eating or sleeping, I'm sick of everything and everyone and I just wish god would give me a break.
With all of the above in mind I'm aiming for about £600. This is all basically to help me just function and continue getting the things that help me not succumb to my mental health issues. If anything, my birthday's coming up in feb so I would appreciate it if folks gave some money if they have the means to. Anything is fine at this point.
Thank you so much
https://paypal.me/iffiia?country.x=GB&locale.x=en_GB
£0/£600
437 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm not in love
[bad] description: Wednesday pays you a visit in school
"And this is how you do differential equations guys. Any questions? Do i need to explain it again?" asked the professor of your beloved subject math, sarcastically of course.
"No, no we get it" shouted the entire class collectively already ready to leave in hopes of finishing earlier than intended despite understanding close to nothing before being interrupted by a gem amongst stones.
"Yes, actually can you repeat that part where…"
At that very moment you and every single being in that room let out a disappointed and annoyed sigh. Muffling out every noise surrounding you along with your vision going dark as you rested your head between folded arms acting as a pillow. Might as well take a rest since your phone died meaning no music, no music meaning no other options left except sleep to pass the time.
The bell rang and you were pretty sure everyone right now wished to be people speeding down the hallway heading out.
"Guys, silence please. Listen to me for a minute, this is very important which i forgot to mention. We'll finish quickly and you got your break."
His rambling, although you were detached from everything could be present up until it got quiet out of the blue. Raising your head and adjusting your vision wondering what's the reason behind the silence until you spotted the reason and made eye contact with it.
Quite impossible to miss the one and only, from head to toe wrapped in black Wednesday, your Wednesday Addams.
"I am sorry for interruption sir, i considered since the bell rang the class is over therefore i may come in."
"Well uh, yes you can but i didn't finish my lecture yet."
"Would you mind if i were to take a seat in the back of the class until it's finally over? I planned on waiting for someone from this class in front of the school but your lectures allegedly prolonged."
"Yes of course, go ahead." said the man whose voice you swore was trembling at one point as he turned around to bring a lecture to an end. "Where were we?", hand hovering above the board pointlessly moving in circles in order to remember. Great, now she even confused him which will make this even longer.
As Wednesday made her way to you, swiftly moving in between rows of desks and chairs people kept turning around once they were out of her vision. Both peripheral and the center one, it's better to play it safe.
"I see how you pay attention in class." was her first words of the day spoken to you when she sat next to your empty seat. Looking at your as well empty white notebook page you couldn't defend yourself.
"Wow, not even a hi and how are you for your beloved girlfriend?" you said faking a disappointed flat tone. "Besides, what are you doing here? I can already see 90% of people in this class won't sleep tonight because of you. I can't afford to pay for therapy bills."
"That's entirely not my problem. The reason i visited is because Enid told me you didn't answer her text messages."
(That definitely was not the reason but you let it slide)
"You mean your text messages? I know when you use her phone, Enid doesn't use proper grammar. It screams 'Wednesday'. Also my phone died so that's why."
"Hmmm" she muttered looking you dead in the eye as if interrogating with hope you will break and confess. "I'll take that as an excuse."
"Okay but what about the real reason you're here?" You said giving her a playful smile.
"What are you implying?"
"Just say you wanted to see me so, oh so desperately. It's normal, nothing to be ashamed of. Couples do that in case this is your first time hearing about it." You gave her a wink knowing it will make her roll eyes.
"Dude, is this your friend?" ruined the moment by a guy sitting in front of you that was quiet up until now, unfortunately.
"I mean-"
"I'm the girlfriend. Why?"
Seeing both of your sour faces he was brave enough to push forward "Listen, i always had a thing for like goth girls so i was wondering if you're free but since you two-"
"Alright guys, class is finally over. I apologize for making you stay longer, i'll make it up to you by shortening next class. See you tomorrow and have a good day."
All of the class shuffling drowned out his attempt for a small talk as both Wednesday and you thanked whatever is lurking out there for cutting it short. Wednesday was visibly close to falling apart from that interaction and it's for the best you leave as soon as possible to prevent any unwanted injuries. Clearly on behalf of the guy.
Eventually getting through the crowd and out in open felt like a wish come true.
"Looook, it's snowing right? The first one this year" you commented eagerly while looking around the sky that's getting darker and darker by each second.
"It's just snow." looking over to your side she feels like you shapeshifted into a child in those few seconds she looked away. She wasn't familiar with this type of werewolves but there's a first time for everything.
"It's also Wednesday today! It must be a sign." you claimed.
"Sign for what?" asked Wednesday completely clueless.
"Oh you know, the "first snow" traditions." quoting with your hands.
"The first snow traditions? If it's something coming from the things you read on the internet or you and Enids highly intelligent conversations-"
"No it's not! It says you're supposed to kiss the loved one on the first snowfall of the year." Looking back to her, asking you "Really?" just above a whisper. She was still wary but how could she not trust you. It's you after all.
Taking a deep breath in she turned to you fixing your winter hat and dusting of snow that has fallen, hands naturally finding their own path down to your face as she allowed herself to relax around you.
"This better be true" merely an inches of space between two of you. In fact, she wouldn't mind if it weren't the truth.
time skip
"You lied."
"About what are we talking about?"
"About the snow tradition. I can't believe i had to hear it from Enid and her computer that there is no concrete evidence behind the snowfall and a kiss." said Wednesday bringing up your last weeks made up fact.
"And what are you complaining about exactly?" provided no answer. You won against Wednesday, congratulations.
notes: for the sake of the story pretend you don't attend Nevermore and Wednesday can roam around freely (also no offense for math lovers)
fun fact also: i accidentally deleted this after writing it for hours i almost deleted the app
774 notes
·
View notes
Text
Heeeeeyyyyy it’s ur boy uh. Skinny penice.
If any of you lovelies wanna help me get my mom’s account out of the negatives, I would be eternally grateful.
Her account is around -$300 after the bills got taken out, we’re just trying not to rack up any late fees at this point ✨ any money will go to getting her account out of the negatives or else paying off the fees as they add up. She’s already been in the negatives for 2 or 3 days because she tried to “fix it herself” without telling me (I only found out because I happened to see her bank app).
Her car’s engine also stopped and we can’t afford a rental so I have to drive her to and from work myself (a 40 minute drive each way, I will be making the 80 minute drive twice today so I can go to my own job). I don’t get paid until Thursday and the only thing I can afford rn is gas.
I just had to pay $500 to get my own car out of the shop after almost 2 months since someone tried to steal it in September (all the parts they needed were on back order) and the dude who tried to take it for a joy ride gets to pay it back in small increments (when a white boy does it for fun, they give him every excuse) which means I’m out $500.
I wanted to attend my community college this upcoming semester but I’m just going to have to skip again if this keeps up, which I really don’t want to do because of pressure from my sister to get a degree or apprenticeship. She won’t help my mom in order to “punish her” but it really just punishes me. My mom has been hiding her finances from me ever since my dad died, resulting in things like my car (the car is under her name & insurance but my dad gave it to me) getting repossessed during the summer (we were able to get it back luckily) and the internet getting shut off. She lied about where the money I paid her was going, paid for her own car + insurance instead and let my car get repossessed. My finances and well-being are entirely dependent on her bank account, and she is consistently dishonest about where our money goes, and then funnels any money I make into her account. She also tries to buy frivolous things we don’t need when she runs out of money + tries to force me to buy those things for her and is only frugal when spending her own paycheck. Everyone I have explained the situation to tells me that I am being financially abused, and I cannot find a way out of it besides moving out, but I can’t afford to do that and I can’t leave my pets behind.
I was also trying to pay off my phone and late bills to T-Mobile so we could switch over to a cheaper company but I can’t make any progress on this because we can’t afford to pay anything off before the next month rolls over and we get charged yet again (when T-Mobile bought Sprint they started charging us out the ass). The electric bill is also going to be unsustainable this winter, our heater doesn’t work half the time so we have space heaters but that’s it for us + our 4 cats + 1 dog.
I’m also supposed to be going to the doctor’s to get a diagnosis (probably EDS), physical and mental therapy, etc. but I have to go through multiple doctors and institutions(?) to do this, which is pretty much impossible when you’re sharing 1 car between 2 people and are the only one with any gas money (which is gonna go FAST). I also do not want my mom to know under any circumstances if I attend mental therapy.
And there’s always more but I don’t have time to continue on
If you follow me or enjoy my posting please consider helping out if you can 💗
C*sh*app is $ThreeTrilobites
DM me for P*yP*l or V-nmo info
63 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hii I am new to the Hannibal fandom and I think u understand the show and the actors and Bryan alot . But there are some things that are worrying me . I read about Ur speculation of Hannibal s4 and I agree with it even tho it's almost impossible now to get a season but my mind can't find peace if I don't get some answers so I hope u won't mind me asking you about your thoughts and what the plot will be for S5 as Bryan wanted to include sotl and what he means by Will being "happy" only in s5.
Will he Leave Hannibal or something??
Hello! Welcome to the fandom!)) Now, what I think makes sense and what Bryan could have planned might be different things, but if to combine them... first, here are my predictions for the potential S4 in case someone is interested and hasn't seen them.
According to Bryan’s words ever since the show ended, this is what had to be present:
1) Will being behind the veil with Hannibal, firmly turning away from the ‘light’ side once and for all.
2) Will and Hannibal being in Cuba and having “adventures” as well as going after Margot and Alana together.
3) Mind Palace, hallucinations, and search for self.
4) Will being out of his mind.
5) Hannibal manipulating Will.
As a theory: Will is going to feel drunk on his newfound darkness and freedom. He was repressed for so long that now that he Became, he’ll be losing his focus and drowning in his own preferences, forgetting what they were and turning into a much more vicious monster any of us expected. He’ll be chasing the high he felt from killing Francis and failing to find it. He’ll be surrounded by blood, his past victims (hence the return of everyone dead, like Bryan mentioned), and more madness. A part of him will want to impress Hannibal, to prove that he’s a worthy partner (which is supported by Will seeking Hannibal’s approval throughout the show - the way he glances at him after biting Cordell is a good example; the way he has low self-esteem and knows Bedelia failed Hannibal’s expectations). So he’ll be acting more and more violently.
Hannibal will see that Will is losing himself in a new way. He won’t want to start a physical relationship with him (which Bryan mentioned) because he’ll be afraid that it isn't for the right reasons, that Will is too far gone to made decisions. So, he’ll feel like the best therapy would be to push Will even more and make him realize that he’s approaching their new life from the wrong angle, to make him figure out that this isn't the kind of killer he wants to be. To do this, Hannibal’s manipulation will entail them going after Alana and Margot.
Will won’t be fond of the idea but Hannibal will manipulate him into accepting it, intending it as a test that will finally make Will snap out of his state. So Will will initially help hunt them down but then he’ll realize this isn’t what he wants to do. Hence finally getting his mind back, which creates the ground for his happiness.
Him being happy in S5 is another thing Bryan mentioned. We also know he wanted to do SOTL.
Personally, I don't think this show needs Silence of the Lambs with Clarice and Buffalo Bill at this point because it has already incorporated major elements from it. Clarice has been divided between different characters; we had a plot with Randall, who didn't feel comfortable in his body, didn't find acceptance from society, and evolved in his own murder-y way. I feel like this echoed the events of SOTL in a way that paid homage to it but remained unique and non-repetitive.
But Bryan does want to film his version of SOTL, so it is what it is. Why I don't think he would break Will and Hannibal up, even though it's purely subjective:
1) He said Hannibal wouldn't want to initiate sexual contact with Will as long as Will is out of his mind in S4. This implies to me that the idea is potentially in the cards for S5.
2) Bryan loves the books and pays respect to them in the most relevant ways. I think he wouldn't want to go against the ending where Hannibal finds the love of his life and enjoys his beautiful freedom. The specifics might differ, but Hannibal would still get his happy ending.
3) The ending of every season supports this notion further. Each one ends with Hannibal's victory, it's a narrative pattern, and breaking it would feel jarring (looking at 'Merlin' here).
4) Bryan is always promoting Hannigram in very positive, life-affirming ways. Here's one quick example of him confirming a fan's question if they can believe that Will and Hannibal are happy somewhere out there. There is a million more examples, and I am skeptical that he'd be doing things quite like this if he planned some ultimate tragedy between them.
About S5 plot: Mads said that Clarice wouldn't be Hannibal's love interest while Bryan said she wouldn't be Abigail #2 for Will and Hannibal. So I assume her role would entail either becoming a reluctant ally or a clever nemesis. Perhaps she decides to seek Murder Husbands out because she feels like they would be the best bet at solving some crime, and they feel amused enough to enter a chase with her; maybe Will and/or Hannibal are imprisoned again, so she comes to consult with them. Maybe Hannibal is imprisoned while Will creates the persona of Buffalo Bill to make people like Clarice talk to Hannibal in their desperation for insights while staging his escape.
I like the first and the third options most. Though since Bryan mentioned that he might push SOTL into flashbacks, like it occurred during the 3-year gap in S3, I really don't see the point of this story-line. Introducing major characters so late in the game is a very bad idea.
In short, I believe that the ending for Will and Hannibal is planned as happy, and I'll keep thinking this until proven otherwise (hopefully never)).
91 notes
·
View notes
Text
2nd wave disabilities
i really wanted to talk about the 2nd Wave (minus chris) and their disabilities and how they handle life, so i'm using old art to show them to talk about it. discussion of trauma/disability ahead!
from left to right: Arthur - Tristan/Matthew - Chris - Isolde, and Caelia in the back. all of them (incl Chris) have C-PTSD which has manifested in various degrees of disability for all of them. Chris's are explored in the books so i won't talk about them, but i wanted to talk about the others! (who are, yes, alive, but they don't appear in the series)
(i have C-PTSD & autism which developed a myriad of other issues, so the 2nd wave are kind of different aspects of those + the inability to work etc)
--
they live together - Isolde in her own room, art and Caelia in another, and Tristan sleeps on the couch or in a room w Isolde depending on his mood. they don't need to pay rent due to all of them being diagnosed and certified as disabled so they live in provided housing - they could probably live in separate apartments, but they didn't want to!
Isolde is the de facto leader of the group, shes the most socially acceptable; she has to do all adult things esp re: communication bc the rest are different levels of Socially Strange and Nonfunctional. shes the typical strong older sister type who takes on every burden.
Tristan can simulate normal behavior for a short time, but after a few hours it starts to crack and he becomes very offputting to people bc he starts infodumping about Chris / historical tragedies / serial killers (esp angels of death) in DETAIL. he also has some other issues i won't get into in detail, but erotomania is one of them.
Arthur is very withdrawn and has selective mutism so he just doesn't talk and looks blank most of the time (he feels emotions ofc, just doesn't have much expressions). everyone pooled their money together and bought him one of those text to speech tablets so he can talk.
Caelia is sweet but she's always a little out of it/dreamy, and she can't follow conversation well.
only Isolde is able to work a "normal" job to help bills, but Arthur sells crafts and Tristan maybe works smth where he doesn't have to talk to people much, like a warehouse. Caelia cant work but she goes to the park often to look at the duckies, and she helps Arthur!
Isolde managed to get them into therapy, but it's only art and caelia, Tristan cant be dragged - he refuses always despite the fact he OBVIOUSLY needs it. she's given up fighting him about it for a while. they're all the same age and have gone through the same traumas after all, so she can do appointments, she can talk to them about their issues, but there comes a point she cant do anymore and Tristan is a bit beyond her/shes tired of him.
it sounds like he really doesn't care about his team which isn't true ): his mind is very shattered but he's usually mostly lucid. Matthew helps Arthur with his crafts by going shopping for materials, he entertains Caelia's fairy tales and listens to her talk for hours, he helps around the house with chores, and he can do a little bit of manual labor so he does that to help with bills. the issue with him is that he is lucid and stable but only in the environment he knows, so at home and at work he's fine and appears really okay (at work only for like 6hrs a day with minimal interaction), it's when he interacts with people outside his circle that it becomes obvious he's not okay.
they get better after some events, but this is the "default". i guess i just... wanted to showcase how disabling mental illnesses are - they will never be at a point where they can "act normal" or "be productive in society" and that's okay!! they'll be okay. they're a family, and they love each other, even when Caelia is afraid of Tristan hurting himself, even when Isolde is tired and has to have her meltdowns at work so the others don't get scared, even when Arthur accidentally insults one of them. they'll be okay.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ouughhh the best way I can put those 10 years is really just, little moments. Thats really all it was, 10 years of just peace and everyone could actually relax..? Shredder was gone, aside from maybe fixing/cleaning the city the Krang were gone. The foot outside New York have not bothered regrouping just yet. There was no one to fight, just moments to live
Memories included in those 10 years off the top of my head:
-The time Medium Leo tried to put on one of his socks/leg wraps really fast only for it to rip
-Big and Medium going to the hidden city and shopping around for Medium Leos new look
-At some point or another Medium Leo had to undergo another port surgery due to his growth, and the old port no longer being his size, but he didnt mind much
-Donnie got to build a new arm, Medium Leos current arm is definitely one of his favorite creations
-Casey got to go to the zoo with Cassandra :) Those two sooo spent lots of time getting to know eachother, not really as mother son, but still as family
-Medium Leo being strong enough to pick up Big Leo! Ha that was a day
-Mikey learned to float! With help of Big Leo ofc
Some of this I would love to draw but mannn, my plate of things I need to draw is getting scarily big haha
---
Yeah.. :( With BIg Leo we knew, sorta nothing about him, just a vague idea that was never really plot important so it was not brought up often. We all knew him as just, the strong guy with good advice yeah? Someone you could depend on and who would always be there.
With Medium Leo, you know what happened. Each time he gives solid line of advice, or any line in general, you know exactly where its coming from and you can figure out exactly what happened in his past that made him say that you know? (I know hes had like, no lines after the whole time travel ordeal but give me some time to work on later updates haha!)
This was definitely a big risk for me ough! I didnt even think I would get this far a while back! I am sooo happy theres people still invested in the story after all this! :) Thanks for sticking around waa!
@alltheyearsblog
---
Oh you are so not alone, autodesk was kinda a trip for me too after I swapped computers a while back! I have a weird story with autodesk-
Listen, I got autodesk for free, years ago, and to this day I have no clue how I even managed that! On top of that I have some special imported brushes that I dont even think you can find online anymore????
Because when I switched computers, 1. I could no longer find a free version of autodesk, so I had to just transfer the program file from my old to my new computer, and 2. I could no longer find the free online brush packs! I had to transfer those files too!
But yeah hello! Autodesk be wack but thats why I love it <3
---
Not paying for your therapy bills o7 @justletmereadmycomics
#2 arms left#asks#btw to the one anon who sent me a really massive ramble#no I have not forgotten about you#you just inspired a potential mini comic if I find time <3
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
UPDATE: 2024
Usually I make these kinds of post around New Years, but this year I didn't really have anything to say. But now we're a month in and I definitely do.
I feel…different, this year. In a good way, I think. I feel like I'm tired of being complacent and riding coattails. This month has been a whirlwind of getting my shit in line. So far I:
handled two serious family crises smoothly and picked myself back up quickly from both
called my health insurance (phone calls have historically been an hours-long meltdown-inducing debacle for me) twice to switch my PCP because the previous one was consistently booked 3-6 months out and she just forgot to mention the inhaler I pulled out of my bag to show her at my first appointment so I couldn't get a refill on it or my nebulizer when I had COVID; that's been getting put off since August of last year
made an appointment with said new PCP for Feb 1, and I'm hoping they'll be able to refer me to a dentist and optometrist because I desperately need both
got back into therapy with an autism/ADHD specialist who can help me manage those specifically after my previous therapist didn't understand why I couldn't just Do It™; also have assessments lined up for both to get diagnoses
pay more attention to my health in general, including diet and exercise. I'm already down about 10 lb
restructured my planner to include a mood tracker and sleep tracker, and have been better about staying on top of it
got Trello up and running and so far it's working really well for me
have been doing my house chores more consistently, namely cleaning litter boxes and taking care of my snakes and tarantulas (roommates have been picking up my slack but they shouldn't have to, they're my animals)
am able to work more consistently on my designated work days; before it was a lot of chipping away and putting things off rather than sitting down and making actually decent progress
am finally starting a tattoo sleeve I've wanted for a very, very long time as a belated birthday gift to myself
am consistently filling stream sketch slots, which means I can actually make money and pay my bills on-time (and a huge, huge thank you to everyone who signs up, I'm pretty sure this is the primary reason I've been able to pull myself out of the hole. Financial stability is a hell of a drug)
This year I wanna try really hard to keep the train moving along this track. If things keep going the way they are, I could potentially make some pretty big changes in the not so distant future. Some things I'm brainstorming:
UnholyFans
merch other than stickers (seriously I have so many designs in mind, I just haven't had the drive to work on them or the upfront capital to order inventory)
more monster/demon adoptables
I would really like to collab with some other artists, it's been too fuckin long
website restructure
picking up my side business (I did literally zero pieces for it last year oof), ideally with a rebrand
get back into conventions and try some new crowds: reptile/exotic expos, tattoo conventions, oddities expos, sex conventions, BDSM groups…
push the stream setup to be more professional
rekindling the spark for my personal stories and headworld projects
more I have written down somewhere but can't think of off the top of my head
And to be clear, I'm optimistic, but also a realist. I know from experience that shit changes and I could hit a massive depressive slump in a month or two and be back to where I was for most of last year. I'm still not going to promise anything I'm not confident I can deliver. However, that doesn't mean I shouldn't try.
I already got sidetracked with this post, so I'm gonna make a second to get to my original point and I'll come back and add a link to this one when I do. But suffice to say I want to try - again - to breathe some kind of life back into my SubscribeStar. I have some ideas in mind, but I want to hear yall's opinions on it too.
Watch this space ♥
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'd be down for more cult!Elvis content at some point... no rush of course :) luv ur stuff
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoy my writing🖤 The first set of cult leader!Elvis headcanons I did can be found here. I took a different approach with this, though. If you’re looking for more cult leader!Elvis content, @star-shard’s series A Different Kind of Love is incredible.
Cult Leader!Austin!Elvis x Reader
Warnings: Dark themes such as abuse of power, ritual abuse, brainwashing, and emotionally manipulative behavior, which some people may find disturbing or triggering. Implied sexual content which involves coercion. Do not interact if you are under 18 or post ED/thinspo content.
It’s an emotional support group, or something like that you start going to, unable to afford professional therapy, so you opt instead to spend two nights a week sitting in a circle of folding chairs in a high school gym, munching on stale donuts and potato chips as everyone takes turns complaining about their lives
Elvis, the meeting leader, is quiet, yet intentional with his words, and if it weren’t for the free bitch sessions and crappy snacks, you’d come back week after week just for him. You’re pretty sure most of the other people in the group would too, because every time he opens his mouth to say something, no one fidgets or crunches or glances at the clock–all eyes are on him
When you return home after the meetings, back to your miserable life and your boyfriend who you’re only sure you’re with anymore because neither of you can pay rent on your own, you think back to Elvis. You have his personal phone number, he gave it to you the first night you went to the meeting, telling you that if you needed anything, even just someone to talk to, to give him a call
You could never work up the nerve, though. He must be so busy, so important, your little problems could wait a few days. You got into the habit of writing everything he said down, knowing you must look like some kiss-ass carrying your spiral notebook to and from the meetings, but when you felt low, like nothing would ever go your way, you could turn to what he said for clarity
After you've been going to the meetings for about three months, he asks you to get coffee with him. You feel flattered he wants to meet with you one-on-one, but also worried you may have done something to upset him
Even though he asked you, he wanted you to be there, you couldn’t help but blurt out the second you sat down, “Do you want to be paid for this or something? I feel bad wasting your time”
He smiled, shaking his head, “Y/N, helping people through emotional crises is my gift. That’s a concern of yours, though isn’t it? Your finances?”
Of course it was, that was almost all you talked about at the meetings, when you weren’t regurgitating the same spiel about how depressed you were and felt like your life was directionless
“Your partner isn’t meeting your needs,” he continued, “taking care of you financially or emotionally. When I gave you my phone number, I meant it when I said to call me”
You feel convicted under his intense gaze, and agree to actually call him whenever you felt the need to, which ends up being often, and the amount of time you spend on the phone with Elvis and the accompanying phone bill becomes another sources of contention between you and your boyfriend, leading to a blow-out fight one night
“If you came to the meetings you’d understand! But you don’t want to understand. You have no idea how much Elvis has helped me”
Your boyfriend argues back, “I’m not a mind-reader, Y/N. If you had said something I would have tried to help. You know that”
“Do I? Elvis said that people who really care about us–” before you can finish your thought, he storms out, and you flinch as the door slams behind him. You and your boyfriend fought a lot, but never to the point where one of you had stormed out before. You feel a pit in your stomach, and almost instinctively move to the phone to call Elvis
He’s at your apartment in fifteen minutes, and suddenly you feel self-conscious about your humble living space. He doesn’t seem to notice, instead he engulfs you in a hug which you welcome as you cry into his shoulder
“He thinks I’ve been cheating on him with you. He says we spend too much time together”
You can’t see the smirk that spreads across his face. He knew he’d be able to get you to crack, but tearing apart your relationship left a satisfying taste in his mouth. Now there was nothing to distract you from him, from reaching your full potential
“You feel like you can’t go to him with your problems. Like right now, he walks out in the middle of you tryin’ to work out an issue, no wonder you turn to someone else for support”
You lift your head, nodding as you sniffle, “You understand everything. It’d be so much easier if–if he were more like you”
That’s all it takes for him to know he has you right where he wants you. He tells you that you shouldn’t be alone, not when you’re so emotionally vulnerable. You pack an overnight bag, gladly accepting his invitation to spend time at his place until things blow over with your boyfriend
Except it doesn’t. You never see your ex-boyfriend or that apartment again after that. As time goes on, more and more of the group members slowly take up residence in Elvis’ house, becoming secretive and insular until you can’t function without Elvis telling you what to do
He cares so much about you, you know he does, even when he twists your own words against you and makes you do things you really don’t want to. He knows best, he hasn’t led you wrong so far, so why doubt him? He set you apart, he picked you first, and as hungry eyes follow his every move, you’re the only one he lets in his bed–if he thinks you deserve it, but you’re always ready and willing to prove you are. Always
Taglist: @eliseinmemphis @crash-and-cure @kittenlittle24 @im-lame-irl @loudwombatmugkid @rxsesss @roseymary04 @queendelrey @jovialladyaurora @positivitylane112 @moonknightswif3 @holy-minseok @datsavageavenger @21bruhs @luckyevansstan @djsjs13949 @butlerslut @ash-omalley @powerofelvis @sad-bisexual-bitch @peachy-deaths @kibumslatina @adoreyouusugar @raefoxiegirl @donnamarie23 @ilovehobi101 @memphis-menace @animeketsu-yander @phhistheloml @dkayfixates
#elvis x reader#austin!elvis x reader#cult leader!elvis x reader#cult leader!austin!elvis x reader#cult leader!elvis#headcanons
77 notes
·
View notes
Note
LOL the hate JK is getting is fucking ridiculous. I can’t imagine hating someone so much that I spend all day everyday just obsessing over them and watching EVERYTHING they do giving more interactions to the one you hate than the one you “love”. Maybe I’m the weird one here but when I hate someone I pay them ZERO attention. Again imagine spending more time and effort on your hate for someone than for the person you supposedly love and respect. Also PEOPLE ARE LITERALLY DYING! The world is going to 💩 and this person is worried about kpop are you f-king for real right now!! You’re (the Anon) worried about a bunch of rich boys (who make more money than we will EVER get to have) who live very comfortably who don’t have to actually worry about real life problems like bills, a roof over their head or where their next meal is going to come from… the same boy(s) (I’m willing to bet Anons life they are most definitely a solo) you are over here like “oh no my poor baby he has it soooo hard!!” be f-king for real!! All that time, effort, research, or hell that entire essay you wrote could have gone to making a REAL difference in the world instead of waste of oxygen or trash that should have never been allowed to exist. I can’t even begin to imagine (don’t take a shot every time I say imagine!) willingly being such a f-king pathetic delusional worthless POS like that. Most parents would be very sad and disappointed to have a child like you. The boys deserve better “fans” than trash like this. Anon get a life, go outside, finally get a real friend (doubt with that attitude you’ll get one, but try), and for f—k sake get some therapy you weirdo!
Sorry this is like the 100th hate post I’ve seen about JK sent by anons to different users. Makes you wonder if it’s the same person sending them to everyone. A life is indeed what they need along with restriction to the internet. Please end me if I ever become that much of a pathetic c-u-n-t.
(Sorry about my language!)
sadly i do not think it's just the same person, even if all the talking points are the same. i ended up on an akgae thread before and they all say the same exact shit. they're so into their weird little conspiracy of poor oppa vs the world that they just spit out the same rhetoric over and over like a broken vending machine. its sad, honestly. there's more important shit to be spending your time on.
jimin has been my ult bias for almost a decade but he really has some of the loudest mfers in his akgaedom. i genuinely and truly cannot figure out how these people have such bad critical thinking skills that they could watch every single time jimin (and the rest of bts) loves on jungkook and then think that jungkook is some evil mastermind who is awful to him. like? if you REALLY think jimin would be friends with someone who is soooo terrible, then not only do you not deserve to be his fan, but you must think extremely little of him, because that means he must have no self respect, self love, or backbone. 🙄
but akgaes do not live in reality and have no interest in tuning into it. at the end of the day, anon, you and me can be happy in the knowledge that bts love and respect each other and themselves regardless of what any freak out there says. have some serotonin, anon! 💗
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Since your "Friends" want to check up on this blog instead of you facing up to your own actions of bringing this up and proposals for "discussion" yourself and see i actually did message you PRIVATELY like this should have been. here
you are one of the most self centered emotionally controlling and manipulative friend i have ever had. the fact you keep COUNT of every time youve "helped" me through my "Troubles" and act like i have never once done anything for you is utterly insane behavior. i am EXHAUSTED from it. you wanted to end the friendship and im simply trying to honor that. im not fighting it. there is no point in fighting because i refuse to bend over and allow you to control every fucking thing i do again and you will not give in to see your own behavior EVER.
sorry i didnt want to TRAUMA DUMP on an anon like you so much like to do and try to remain optimistic and positive on my public blog but since you want to air out my own PERSONAL LIFE ON TUMBLR which you are very much in the wrong for doing so, ESPECIALLY using it as a weapon against me, fine. and especially since you want to go into fucking discord servers to claim i was lying about getting help after your messages, and publicly trying to call me a fraud then fine. i will also be public and honest like you want.
i tried to kill myself over this. i sincerely could not take it anymore and i felt like everything fcking shattered because no matter what i did no matter how hard i tried and what i did it was never good enough for you. you could never accept that i had a full time job, i had other friends, i had my own issues THAT DONT INVOLVE YOU and my own ENTIRE life and it was NEVER good enough for you. mad at me because i "dont follow through with plans" like we arent 24 years old and i work 50 hours a week? when have u ever once texted me "lets play this together tonight. lets see a movie tonight" you didnt. you are mad i didnt make the effort for YOUR life. i DID go to therapy because of it. you want to see the hospital and medical bills ive been paying because of it? because i will. call my fucking mother and she will tell you what SHES had to go through from this because she is also done with you and you airing out every issue youve ever had on her every time youd come over and never ONCE asking her how she is doing after losing her husband. call HER and tell her i was "obviously lying" when i said i would get help.
i wasnt going to fight it. i didnt want to bend over and "Just listen and change my behavior" because i didnt need to change. i was DOING my best. friendship isnt a transaction, unlike you keeping count every time you helped me apparently i didnt bc it wasnt things i Expected returned or expected PRAISE for. i bought games for you i WANTED to play together so wed have something else to talk about other than Negative Topics because i wanted you to desperately feel better and happy with something but you COULDNT because you could not stop being obsessed with your own misery and nobody likes being around that. thats the bitter truth. so i said bye because it wasnt worth it and if ending our friendship was something you TRULY thought was the best course of action then like fine. whatever.
so please continue telling everyone you meet every day the rest of your life about the horrible bad friend you once had. who never did anything for you ever because i know you are going to. and continue to surround yourself with equally controlling people who validate your feelings. i will be enjoying my life and continuing to ignore any further messages as well. ok, bye
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Played the Snufkin: Melody of Moominvalley demo
teehee will the real Snufkin please stand up??
First of all the art and music are so gorgeous. The watercolor effect and paper texture are enchanting. I felt soothed just watching the intro. It's very moomin-y and made me remember how I felt when I first discovered the books. When you walk through puddles, there's the sound of splashing water, and when you cross a log bridge, it sounds like hollow wood. Ideal vibe.
I did try *cough* to jump off the cliffs and stuff... but no, you can't kill yourself in this game, bahahaha. Unsurprising but Idk I've played Sims too long and "how can I kill everyone" has become my modus operandi. Not even Moomins are safe.
You pretty much just use space bar, S, and A, so playing was easy. I encountered some trouble when jumping at times, but Idk if that was jumps being glitchy or just me still getting the hang of it.
Snufkin in this is freakishly strong. Able to carry rocks while jumping across a rushing river and push a giant boulder around. Superstrength!! But it is a lot of fun, really, running and jumping everywhere, climbing things... I got stuck at one point where you have to climb behind a waterfall, because I didn't think you could climb horizontally!
Now this game stars Snufkin, but don't be fooled, it's really a Snufkin roast. You watch Teety-woo (who is leading the tutorial basically) follow Snufkin around getting ignored for ages x'D and he's so complimentary the whole time that it morphs into an insult. The rest of the time, in the name of helping, he does a lot of nothing and you stop feeling bad about ignoring him bahahahaha.
Your "mighty" harmonica x'D has the ability to calm and charm other creatures and make them fall in love with you. I don't care what anyone says, I love this whole music therapy angle. I also like finding inspiration in random bushes. It WAS a bit weird to use the harmonica on this Creep only so he could give me a boost up the cliff lol what was wrong with stacking rocks?
But the harmonica's best use is DEFINITELY hypnotizing birds and then launching them at a target. Who need guns when you have birds?? Seriously this was way too much fun, who knew Looney Tunes humor would be this amusing to me as a full grown adult :P
You get quests, like "rescue all the baby birds." But whenever you feel like it you can fuck off and go fishing for a while. Sorry mama! I didn't notice any game-related effect from it, like catching actual fish. So idk if that's the way it's meant to be, for relaxing, or if I'm just stupid.
I was a little confused when I got like three quests and didn't see how I'd made any progress on any of them. Then all of a sudden the mama bird, who says "woo" when she's sad and "teety" when she's happy, led to the completion of the "Find a name" quest. And I love Teety-woo praising the existential beauty of his own name, and then fucking off to pay some bills. The great Snufkin who?? I've got responsibilities!
Oh no... signs! Oh no... a park! Being asked to look after it is pretty funny! But the ensuing complete and total property destruction is even funnier!
Not even kidding, Snufkin demolishes this park. It was really fun! This game isn't hard, but for someone who doesn't play games, it wasn't too mindlessly simple for me either. I enjoyed dodging the park keepers, launching birds at their heads, and yeeting signs into oblivion.
And we end with the discovery that Moominvalley has dried up and Moomintroll is nowhere to be found! An excellent prologue. I'm definitely looking forward to this game. I like the idea of a game that has both relaxing elements and more energetic ones without being too terribly kiddie (of course it's perfect for kids, I'm just saying, as an adult, I wasn't bored), as well as one that is whimsical and silly without losing emotional depth, with manageable, personal stakes. The demo definitely didn't take me very long to get through and I have no idea how long the full game will be. But long or short, the story seems promising.
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Groot is still doing great bloodwork and checkup wise! He didn’t have a heart murmur this week, so the oncologist came up with a great plan she feels safe doing.
Instead of replacing the Doxorubicin we’ll be taking away the other meds, Doxorubicin is the strongest option! So instead of every 2 weeks and alternating meds, we’ll be doing another 3 or 4 doses of just Doxorubicin every 3 weeks.
This balances out the stress on his body, while still providing him the strongest treatment option. It balances out cost wise a little as well. It’ll be approximately $3500-4000 total for the rest of his treatment now, before it was going to be $5000-5500. It’s still hard on me financially, but a little more manageable.
Any and all help is still super appreciated! Now we have 3 weeks between each appointment to get the money, which helps give me more time to get the funds!
Thank you everyone for helping us get this far! 💜🩵❤️
And thank you for the patience on commissions! Keeping up with Groot and myself has been a lot recently, I have electro-current therapy today so hopefully I’ll be able to get a lot done in the next two days before it wears off!
Gofundme link below as always! Again anything helps, I’m hesitant to lower the gofundme goal right now as my mom took out a loan and is in debt for this, as well as everything that is now gone from me/my bank account. While I still have to pay for Groot and my food, bills etc! (His food is $60 a month + fresh ingredients for topper I’ve been making him —-I’ve been able to stabilize his weight this way!)
Im also adding an Amazon wishlist of food for Groot is anyone wanted to help that way! I’ll send a video of him going CRAZY for it if anyone buys anything for him! My Venmo is also @ Buntsuki (the fresh ingredients are cheaper at Walmart here, and they don’t have the stock etc I need that doesn’t have additive) again will send video of Groot going nuts for the stuff! ❤️🩵🩷 no obligations or pressure, I’m just putting whatever I can out here at this point!
#art#animeartist#any help is appreciated#commissions#emergency#chemotherapy#we rate dogs#dogs of tumblr#my dog#dogs#fundraiser#gofundme#donations#please#please donate
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Finally started Kaveh’s hangout (finally, seriously) and completed one of the three main branches.
This was the one about working with his suspicious but ultimately idealistic client to build a library out in Aaru Village.
Overall, not much to say about this one. It’s mid personified, not terrible, not great, just a thing that exists now.
The only real commentary I have is regarding how hilariously off the fic portrayals of Kaveh are, compared to how he actually turns out to be. He basically tells his client to fuck off once there’s too many revisions requested and too many dumb layman comments. He’s hilariously focused on maintaining a good and nice image when telling off clients, but not really concerned about the telling off itself. He’s indeed kind of gullible and stupid about things, but he’s not unaware of scammers and such. He just doesn’t think things through. He’s also, interestingly, very aware of his own (past, potentially?) guilt issues and talks about them very directly and calmly. He even pays his own and your bill at the tavern.
Anyway, some screenshots:
I just like this one.
Kaveh bitching about Alhaitham. It’s a very interesting question how accurate is Kaveh’s perspective on Alhaitham, since he often says things that seem to be quite different from what we see, like saying Alhaitham has a temper. Where did he get that idea?
But on the other hand, Kaveh’s first thought after getting back post archon quest is to accuse Alhaitham of trying to seize power in the Akademiya which... is so far off from Alhaitham’s actual personality that it makes Kaveh look outright delusional.
Kaveh isn’t actually cheap to work with, and he only takes high-end projects on the whole. He outright tells a client when he feels they’re being ridiculous about hiring someone of his caliber.
This is part of a mention toward what is art and what is artistic vision, which doesn’t really go further in this particular branch.
However, I have to say, like so much of Genshin writing, this particular section has a bizarre swerve into “is it inspiration from the gods.” Like, bro, why did that suddenly come in.
Also, this section read like the writers bitching about getting their glorious vision meddled with, and it made me roll my eyes.
Similar to Heizou’s hangout, this one gives more follow up to the internal tensions of the nation that couldn’t be addressed in the archon quest. And the solution is the same: the correct and rightful archon is in charge now, so everything is going swimmingly.
But I do admit they at least tried to bring up some points about how it’s not a simple process (though more as an excuse for why this story can even happen).
I wonder if this is the story of what Kaveh got up to during the archon quest? It’s pretty dumb: He noticed a guy whose house looked like it was going to collapse, so he offered to help build a new one. The guy said he had no money, so Kaveh lent him some. The guy gambled it all away... and Kaveh lent him some two more times. And in the end, the guy tried to have mercenaries kill Kaveh in his own house.
I don’t even know what to say.
This is a minor point, but I am eternally disappointed how everyone in modern day Genshin can’t do anything except graverob when they need to build a cool thing.
All of you are losers who are unworthy of the truly great creators of the distant past. Make your own dang mechanical cores??
The entire section of one of the endings just reads like that joke about getting a good grade in therapy.
For someone who completely flipped out at Alhaitham for just mentioning his guilt issues, Kaveh is awfully calm discussing them in detail with a near stranger. He just goes on for like a dozen dialogue boxes analyzing himself and it’s like... I’d prefer if we had a bit more showing, you know? Something actually happening? That would be nice.
On the whole, I guess I would characterize this writing as being kind of amateur? The writer is aware of like, characterization, and tries to weave it into the dialogue, but their attempts at being casual about it just come across as contrived and a bit weird.
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
