that's night freakin' city baby!

Little Red Lies - Chapter 1

Or, AUgust 2021 Day 10 - Fake Dating

{Next}

Words: 5,439

[Booked tckts yet? virge wants 2 check u still need 2 places 4 reception dinner]

Trash Rat 22:57

[cant w8 2 meet ur new ~date~]

Trash Rat 22:58

Roman stared at the messages for several long seconds, then groaned.

[Of course I booked tickets. Yes I still need the +1 seat.]

Roman 23:04

[cant believe u havent even sent a pic or yk a name]

Trash Rat 23:06

[no shame if ur still </3 ovr remy]

Trash Rat 23:06

[even tho its been 2 yrs now]

Trash Rat 23:07

[Of course I’m over remy. You’ll meet my boyfriend when we get there. He’s shy.]

Roman 23:07

Roman seriously considered throwing his phone across the room and booking a plane ticket to Alaska rather than Manhattan. That way, he wouldn’t have to go to his brother’s wedding and admit that he was most definitely single and most definitely not over his ex boyfriend (of seventeen months - two years was an unfair exaggeration).

[u kno virge h8s not knowing whos coming to his wedding right]

Trash Rat 23:10

[I know, I know, I’ll apologise as soon as we get there. He’ll be first to meet my bf, promise.]

Roman 23:11

[book ur fuckin plane tckts ro, I know u didnt do it yet]

Trash Rat 23:11

Roman threw his phone across the room.

It bounced off of his Heathers poster and landed on his desk, which was covered in scripts, textbooks, empty takeout containers, balled up bits of paper, crumpled drinks cans, and pens, and Roman buried his face in his pillow and groaned.

Ten months ago, Roman’s sister had flown down to Los Angeles, dragged Roman out of bed and announced that he was actually Roman’s brother. Almost sooner than Roman had been able to take this in stride, Virgil had added that he was marrying his boyfriend in December and would Roman mind being one of his groomsmen? While Roman was still reeling from the bombshell that was the fact that their gremlin of an elder brother Remus was Virgil’s best man, Virgil had leaned forward and asked if Roman was doing alright because he couldn’t help but notice that his dorm room resembled ‘the result of an explosive going off in a pigsty’.

Roman had blinked dumbly at him, nodded, and then started pressing for details about Virgil’s wedding. Eventually, his brother had promised that he’d get Patton, his fiance, to call Roman to discuss every detail, from location to napkin frills, and Roman felt that he had managed to avoid the topic of how he was doing.

When he and Remy had first broken up, midway through last July, Roman had gone to pieces. He had spent the end of the summer holiday between his first and second years locked in his room and listening to the same few songs on loop until Virgil, who was three years older and had been packing his things to move into his new apartment, had put his fist through the wall between their rooms. Then Roman had put his headphones on. It wasn’t Virgil’s fault that he was too uncivilised to appreciate the wonders of ‘Michael In The Bathroom’, ‘Someone You Loved’, or ‘Impossible’, after all.

Then Roman had gone back to university, where he had tried to drown himself in reading for his degree, and instead ended up sleeping through lectures after all-night crying sessions. He had tried to submerge himself in his essays and instead ended up daydreaming about his ex-boyfriend in study sessions. He had tried to get involved in theatre productions, but every audition had gone sour, and he often ended up thinking about the few times he and Remy had met up over the previous year rather than learning his lines.

Everyone had said that long distance relationships would be hard, but Roman, the romantic fool that he was, had insisted that they could do it.

They couldn’t.

Eight months ago, nine months after the two of them had broken up, two months after Virgil had announced his wedding plans, Remus and his partner had flown into Los Angeles and tried to stage an intervention. This had involved Remus trying to seduce the campus security guard and almost getting reported to the police (Roman had always insisted that his mustache only made him look sketchy), followed by Janus sneaking past the pair of them and into the building. Remus had somehow managed to join him moments later, and the two of them had somehow made their way up to Roman’s floor without alerting anyone else of their presence.

Roman had been woken by a furious hammering at his bedroom door at a little after four in the morning, and had to wade through a mess of papers and laundry to find that the two of them had knocked on every single door on his corridor, unable to remember which was his. He had not been popular with his dormmates the next day.

Their intervention had involved sitting on Roman’s bed and sharing the leftover pizza that had been on Roman’s desk for the last three days, and telling him to wash the dirty clothes all over his floor. Then they had tried to persuade him to accompany them to a bar to hook him up with somebody, and Roman had quickly concluded that the pair was somewhat drunk.

He had vehemently refused, and when Janus had eventually rolled onto his back, dark hair dangling off the edge of the bed and onto the sticky patch of carpet that Roman had spilled soda on three weeks ago, he practically whined that Roman was being very difficult when all they were doing was trying to help him.

“Trying to help me? You’ve disturbed the people I live with at fuck-o’clock in the morning! I have class tomorrow!” Roman was sat at his desk chair, trying very hard to ignore the stack of textbooks he was supposed to have read and hadn’t.

Remus rested a hand on Janus’ hip to stop him from rolling off the bed, and raised a lazy eyebrow at him. “Cut the bullshit, little bro. We all know you haven’t been to class in… How long, Jan?”

“Two months, three weeks, and four days,” Janus sing-songed.

“How the fuck do you know that?” It sounded about right, anyway, and Roman had a feeling that if he denied it this would just take even longer. He spun around in his chair and picked up a pen from his desk. “It’s my business if I don’t go to class.”

“Called my sister. Jannie takes all your classes, you know…” There was the sound of shifting fabric, and when Roman glanced back, Janus was sitting up and tucked under Remus’ arm again, looking very much as though Remus had just placed him there.

“You’re right, Ro. It’s not my business if you’re not going to class.” One of Remus’ hands trailed slowly up and down Janus’ arm, so casually Roman could almost believe that his brother didn’t realise he was doing it. “But it is my business that my little brother isn’t taking care of himself anymore. You haven’t answered my calls since before winter break. You obviously haven’t been eating healthily - this pizza tastes like you fished it out of the garbage, by the way, and I would know - and you look as though you haven’t seen the sunlight since last July.”

The assessment wasn’t quite fair. Roman might have been skipping classes, but it wasn’t as though he had just been lying in his room and wasting away! “I went to the gym last week. And I auditioned for the musical in March. I’m fine, Remus! Can I go to bed now?”

“No! We’re going to a club!”

Janus had nodded enthusiastically at Remus’ words, then rested his head on his partner’s shoulder as Roman shook his head slowly. “I don’t want to go to a club. I want to go to bed. I have class tomorrow.”

“Nope.” Remus’ hand rose to tangle absently in Janus’ hair. “We’re going to a club, and you’re gonna find some hottie to fuck all the yearning for Remy right out of you. Then you’ll feel much better!”

“You’re pulling my ha-”

“Fuck no. We’re not doing that.” Roman pressed his palms into his eyes, then stood up and jerked his door open. “Can you go now?”

“Give me one good reason why you getting laid is a bad thing right now, Ro, and we’ll leave.” Roman had gotten as far as opening his mouth before Remus interrupted. “See? You can’t. You need to move on, man. Clinging to Remy is clearly unh-”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“-ealthy, and- What?”

Maybe it was because it was four in the morning. Maybe it was because Roman hadn’t been sleeping well anyway, and Remus had managed to step on the last of his fraying nerves. Maybe it was just because he wished it was true.

“I have a boyfriend,” Roman repeated, and felt a strange sense of satisfaction at the obvious shock on Janus’ usually impassive face. “Three months. Met just after term started. It’s pretty serious, actually.”

“Bullshit.” Remus looked half impressed.

Now it was irritation that flickered through Roman. Was it really so unbelievable that he could have found somebody else? “It’s not.”

“You fucked yet?”

“Remus…” There was a warning note in Janus’ voice, and Remus sighed.

“None of my business. Got it. Do we get to meet him?”

“He’s shy.”

“Which is another way of saying he doesn’t exist.”

“Asshole. It’s another way of saying that it’s four in the fucking morning and he’s asleep. You’ll meet him at the wedding, anyway - I’m going to ask him to be my plus one when Patton sends out the RSVP date.” The words had been out of his mouth before he had had time to regret them, and Roman had spent the last eight months trying to sidestep questions about his non-existent boyfriend.

He had later found out that Remus and Janus hadn’t really come down to see him. They had gone to Los Angeles to celebrate their two year wedding anniversary and decided they might drop in while in the area. (Just because they had eloped rather than holding a big party, Janus had commented idly, didn’t mean they couldn’t celebrate it).

But now it was December, and Roman was partner-less and running out of excuses. His lie had gotten out of control, and he had ended up asking Patton and Virgil to include his partner in the guest numbers. He had invented dates they had been on for his mother when she had asked, and he insisted that his boyfriend was shy and had practically no internet presence anyway, so knowing his name wouldn’t help anybody.

He could just say that the two of them had broken up and go home alone, of course.

But that would mean disrupting the meticulous wedding seating plan Virgil and Patton had been making for months.

Besides, Roman was fairly certain that nobody in his family really believed in his mystery boyfriend, and failure to produce one after months of insisting that they would meet… Well, he didn’t want to open himself to that sort of ridicule.

Of course, it didn’t look as though he had much choice.

He hadn’t managed to make many friends at college.

In his first year, Roman had spent a lot of time trying to keep on top of his schoolwork and working toward the various theatre productions the school had put on; all of his free time he had spent planning dates for when he and Remy finally visited one another, or else video calling his boyfriend. There simply hadn’t been time to make many friends during that.

His second year… Well, Remus had been right. He had spent most of his time in his room, eating junk food, watching sappy romance films, and missing Remy.

So far, he had spent his third year trying to bring his grades back up to something more respectable… And missing Remy.

He knew it was pathetic. It had been almost a year and a half since they had broken up, and he still missed being able to call someone to talk about nothing at all at two in the morning, missed planning extravagant dates, missed the feel of hands in his hair and lips on his.

At least his floor was cleaner than it had been last year. And he had eaten slightly less fast food this semester than the previous one.

Roman’s phone chimed again. With a frustrated groan, he made his way over to his desk.

[Looking forward to seeing you on Monday!!! <3 <3 <3 !!!]

Pops 23:25

Patton.

[Me too, Padre! I’ll bring some of that fudge from the shop you love!]

Roman 23:26

[eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <33333333 Can you get some of the currents+salt? Vee loved it last time + I want to surprise him]

Pops 23:26

[Will do. Looking forward to seeing you too!]

Roman 23:27

Patton would probably be the most understanding if Roman decided to come clean about his lying - but Patton was the worst secret keeper Roman had ever met. He and Virgil had been dating for almost three years, and in that time the thin voice actor had managed to spill every single plot twist in every single show he had watched or acted in. Roman had no doubt that Virgil would know that he was bringing home fudge within the next hour. If he admitted to Patton that he had been lying about having a date for the wedding, Roman would get Patton’s kind - if confused - reassurances, and half an hour later he would get the mixture of mockery and horrible pity that would come with the rest of his family finding out that he still wasn’t over Remy.

Roman let his phone slip through his fingers and land on his desk once more. Three days, and then he’d have to come clean - until then, he could just avoid thinking about it. Collecting the overflowing basket from the corner of the room (he had been putting off doing laundry for a while now), Roman left his room and headed toward the building’s basement laundry room. Term had finished last week and it was almost midnight - he doubted anybody would be down there now. Most people had probably already gone home, or were making the most of the free time to go out rather than spend it doing chores.

The light was off in the basement when he got there, so Roman left it that way as he loaded his clothing into one of the machines.

Moving around in the dark was far more of a Virgil move than a Roman one, but he couldn’t help himself. There was something comforting about the-

“Sweet fucking Shakespeare!” Roman’s hand flew up to cover his eyes as light burst through the small room, quickly followed by the strong smell of coffee.

“Sorry! I was unaware that there would be anybody in here.” As Roman dropped his hand, blinking owlishly in the sudden light, the newcomer made his way over to the machine on the far side of the room from him. “Most people prefer not to fumble around in the dark.”

Remus or Remy would have made some comment about how fumbling around in the dark could be quite fun really. Roman just shrugged. “It’s been a long day.”

He had expected the other man to say something; instead, silence fell over the room, broken only by the sound of the powder tray being opened, filled, and closed again.

Roman didn’t mean to stare, but he couldn’t help it. He had seen the person in the room next to him only twice so far this term, and only knew his name because the mailroom was organised by room number rather than alphabetically, and the name Roman Prince was right next to Logan Ursa.

Logan looked more tired than he had on either of the other times Roman had seen him. There were deep bags under his eyes, the shadows almost deeper than Virgil’s had been at the height of his eyeliner experiments, and the black ponytail that hung halfway to his waist was missing, replaced with what could only be described as a thicket of tangled hair. It looked as though he had been outside even less than Roman had in the past few months: his skin was so pale it seemed to glow under the fluorescent laundry-room lights. There was a steaming mug and a thick book on the lid of the machine beside him, and Roman had the strong feeling that it wasn’t the first coffee Logan had had that evening.

The washing machine Logan had been loading began to rumble, and as the other student straightened up and picked up his book, Roman made himself duck back down to finish his own task.

He’d have to come back to collect his clothing later - Roman suddenly regretted deciding to get this done now, when it meant he would have to return at almost two in the morning, but there wasn’t much he could do about it now.

“Do you want me to leave the light on?” He was more trying to make conversation than anything else: Logan was perched on one of the machines in the corner, nose already buried in what Roman could now see was a heavy medical textbook.

“Obviously.” 

Yeah, he probably should have guessed that.

-

Logan was still in the laundry room when Roman returned to collect his clothing two hours later. He was still sat on the same machine, although now he was speaking into his phone in what sounded like rapid Italian. (It definitely wasn’t Spanish: Roman was almost fluent in Spanish). (The languages were similar, but although he could guess at a few words, he had no idea what was going on). (Not that he was eavesdropping, of course). Logan’s hair was even messier than it had been before, and out of the corner of his eye Roman caught him jerking his free hand through it once or twice.

Roman pulled his now-warm and dry clothing from the machine and dumped it into his laundry basket, doing his best to ignore the way Logan was practically shouting behind him, but couldn’t stop himself from startling at the wordless, frustrated yell that came from the taller man a few minutes later. He was halfway to the door, but paused and glanced at Logan, who was stuffing his phone angrily into the oversized hoodie he was wearing.

“Everything okay over there?”

“Family stuff,” came the snappish response. Roman watched for a few seconds as Logan knelt in front of his own machine and began jerking clothing from it, folding pants as though he wished he were ripping them to pieces instead, then throwing several dark shirts over his shoulder and stalking over to one of the ironing stations.

“Pretty loud family stuff,” Roman commented, then wondered why he was bothering. It had been clear from his first meeting with Logan that the other student wasn’t there to make friends: Roman had been carrying a large cardboard box into his room the day he had moved in, and bumped into him in the hallway. Logan had looked him up and down, said something like, “Keep the volume down. I’m here to work,” and marched past him as though Roman were no more interesting than a hat stand.

Sure enough, Logan didn’t turn to face him, instead ironing a shirt in a manner that strongly hinted that he wanted to make it beg for mercy. “None of your business family stuff.”

“Are you-”

“None. Of your. Business.” This time, Logan actually did glance over his shoulder, and fixed Roman with a scowl that suggested that if he didn’t drop it, his face was going to be the next thing under the iron.

Roman left quickly. He had done his best to be friendly, and if Logan wasn’t interested, that was his problem. He didn’t seem like the sort of person Roman would really want to be friends with anyway.

Logan’s haggard expression lingered in his mind as he made his way back up to his dorm room and began stuffing his now-clean clothes into his wardrobe. He should probably start packing - his suitcase was sitting open and empty against one wall - but he had plenty of time.

Besides, he was exhausted.

Roman had changed into a pair of sweatpants and gotten into bed by the time he heard the door to the room next to his slam shut. Clearly, Logan was still annoyed by whatever ‘family stuff’ had had him first yelling into his phone and then taking his frustration out on his laundry and somebody trying to be friendly.

How long could Logan hold a grudge? Was he the kind of person who would calm down after a couple of hours of sleep, or would whatever he had been arguing about be hanging over him for the next week or so? That would make the winter break uncomfortable…

Or maybe he wasn’t going home. He had looked pretty invested in the textbook he had been studying earlier, despite it being almost midnight and no longer termtime. Maybe Logan was going to stay in the dorms over the winter break and use the hours without lectures for private study.

That sounded like a lonely way to spend the next three weeks.

The idea struck Roman suddenly, and he sat bolt upright in bed, the kind of elation that only comes with golden inspiration coursing through him. He would persuade Logan to come back home with him for the holidays! If Janus took it to mind to ask Janine about him, she’d be able to verify that Logan didn’t socialise much; all he would have to do would be show up briefly for the wedding, and he could spend the remainder of the holiday studying all he wanted, away from ‘family stuff’!

He would ask Logan the following morning, and when he agreed, Roman would book the plane tickets home - he’d pay, of course. Or rather, he’d use the money his mother had sent him so that he could bring his fictional boyfriend home. Either way, Logan wouldn’t have to spend any money himself!

Laying back down, Roman pulled his thin blanket back up to his neck and rolled onto his side, satisfaction warming him more thoroughly than any hot drink could.

This was the best idea he’d ever had.

-

“That is the worst idea I have ever heard.” Logan glanced into the hallway over Roman’s shoulder as though expecting an audience for a practical joke. “I cannot believe you have wasted my time listening to you.”

“Is… That a maybe?” Roman tilted his head and gave Logan his best puppy eyes.

Alas, Logan’s heart must have been made of stone. “No.” He made to slam the door.

Well, Roman couldn’t have that. It had been difficult enough to get Logan to even open the door in the first place, and harder still to get him to listen beyond the initial “I need you to do me a huge favour, okay, but it works out for you too.” In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t have led with that. But then he had explained, and for some reason Logan was still trying to close the door on him.

“Ow!”

“That was entirely your fault.”

“You just slammed the door on my foot!”

“You did put your foot there after I had begun closing the door. My point stands.”

Technically, Logan was correct, but Roman wasn’t there to quibble over technicalities. “You got the part where I’d pay for your flights, right? All you have to do is show up for one day in something resembling formalwear, and in return you get rent free accommodation and food all holiday! Plus company!”

“I have too much to do to pretend to be your boyfriend for three weeks for no reason. Find somebody else.” Logan made to close the door again, and this time Roman caught it with his hand.

“There is nobody else!” Roman was aware that he was beginning to sound desperate. “You’re like, the only person I know!”

“That sounds like your personal problem, not mine.” Several strands of hair had fallen from the impressive tangle around Logan’s ears and into his face, and he blew them out of the way. His breath smelled like coffee - bitter coffee. Roman wrinkled his nose. “Let go of my door.”

“Come on, Logan! What else are you going to be doing this holiday?”

“Studying! I have exams to pass!”

“You can study at my place. You won’t have to pay holiday rent there!”

“I won’t have to pay holiday rent if I go to my mom’s place, either! Let go of my door!”

Roman finally pulled his aching foot out of the way, but didn’t remove his hand from the wood. “You don’t want to go back to your mom’s place, though, do you? The phonecall -”

The glare that Logan sent him could have frozen the insides of a volcano, and his voice was suddenly cold enough to make Roman shiver. “Good day, Roman.” This time, Roman jerked his hand out of the way, and the door snapped shut in his face.

Shit. Maybe he shouldn’t have tried to use Logan’s ‘family stuff’ against him. He made a note of that for future reference, then hammered against the door again.

“Please, Logan!”

Silence.

“I’ll be forever in your debt!”

More silence. Maybe Logan would prefer something a little more extravagant?

“I’ll sing of your virtues from the rooftop every night for the rest of the year!”

Nothing.

Okay, maybe that had been a little much. Logan had made it clear that he was there to work and didn’t want to be disturbed in his caffeine fueled study crusades, so something excessive was possibly the wrong way to persuade him to do this.

Oh-

“I’ll pay for your coffee for the rest of the year?”

Roman held his breath and waited.

And waited.

Just when he thought that he had been wrong and that Logan really wasn’t going to be persuaded, the door opened the tiniest of amounts. Logan was still frowning at him, but some of the ice was gone from his expression.

“That’s your dealbreaker? Coffee?”

“I drink a lot of coffee.” A slight deepening in the crease between Logan’s eyes told Roman not to push the subject. “You need a date to a wedding. In return, you pay for my flight there and back, provide accommodation for the duration of the winter vacation, and keep me supplied with coffee for the rest of the year.”

“Well, a wedding, the reception, any pre-wedding parties, and keeping up the act while we’re around other people,” Roman corrected, counting on his fingers. From the irritated twitch of Logan’s left eye, he got the feeling that he hadn’t mentioned the reception or the potential stag night in his initial pitch.

“Blue Moon or Red Planet.”

“What?”

“The coffee. I like Blue Moon or Red Planet coffee. They’re more expensive, so I don’t expect them every time - maybe a ratio of three regular jars to one nice jar.”

Roman blinked. “Uh… Okay.”

Logan nodded once. More hair fell over his eyes. “I’ll draw up a schedule and provide you with estimated projections of my coffee habits for the rest of the year so you can budget accordingly. When do we leave?”

“Um… Monday.” Still reeling from Logan’s sudden and complete 180, Roman cast around for something to say, but the long haired man got there first.

“Monday. That gives us approximately two and a half days to draw boundaries and fabricate enough pictures and stories to give our deceit credibility.” Logan closed his eyes, and Roman realised that he was staring again. He hadn’t expected the other to take this in stride so quickly. “Given that I have work to finish today and you will likely need several hours on Sunday evening to pack… Have you told your family how long we have been romantically involved?”

“Uh, since January. But I told them you were shy, so we don’t have to have any pictures or anything - we can say that all our dates were just pizza and Netflix, and…” He tailed off at the incredulous look on Logan’s face. “What?”

“You expect them to believe that we have been dating for eleven months and you haven’t taken a single photo? Roman, I have listened to you belting the lyrics of more break-up songs than I care to count.” Roman shrugged, and Logan rolled his eyes. “You are quite clearly a romantic. Had we really been dating, the number of pictures you would have taken on whatever extravagance you planned for our six-month anniversary alone would be infinitesimal.”

He had a point.

Roman had already stretched his family’s belief in him to breaking point (and probably well past it) by refusing to share even the smallest thing about his ‘boyfriend’ over the past eleven months; if he didn’t get home on Monday with at least a couple of dozen photos to share, their charade would be over before it could ever really begin. “Right. You’re right. We’ll need to spend the weekend planning, doing a photoshoot - it’ll be fun!”

“You,” Logan started, already retreating, “obviously have a different definition of that word than I do. Eight thirty tomorrow morning, The Roost. Bring a notepad, your phone, and a couple of changes of clothing suitable for various weather conditions.”

“Eight thirty? A prince needs his beauty-”

“Eight thirty. We are going to do this properly.”

Roman’s phone was in his hand barely seconds after Logan’s door had closed (albeit more gently than before).

Groupchat: Princes and Co.

[Can’t wait for you to meet logan!]

Roman 09:58

[a name!!!!!!!!!!]

Trash Rat 09:59

[we have a name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Trash Rat 09:59

[such a nice name! can’t wait either, ro!]

Pops 10:01

[About time! I’ve been stalling on the place settings for weeks waiting for this name]

Emo Nightmare 10:02

[Was about to fly out to LA to strangle it out of you]

Emo Nightmare 10:04

[he was. i had to physically restrain him from doing so yesterday]

Padre 10:04

[bet u both enjoyed that ;);););););)]

Trash Rat 10:04

Several people are typing…

[Suck a dick, Remus]

Emo Nightmare 10:05

[we did, actually]

Pops 10:05

[would but janjans at work :((]

Trash Rat 10:06

[Didn’t want to know, didn’t need to know.]

Roman 10:06

[Pat!]

Emo Nightmare 10:06

[Logan Ursa??? 4th yr medic??? Coffee addict???]

Snake Eyes 10:06

Roman stared at his phone for a second. That was faster than he had expected.

[u knew????? jan u held out on me??? the luv of ur greyspec life???]

Trash Rat 10:07

[You told Janus?! I’m your brother! He’s not even related to you!]

Emo Nightmare 10:07

[No I didn’t tell Janus!]

Roman 10:07

[I’m omniscient.]

Snake Eyes 10:08

[Plus I just asked Jannie for a list of all the Logans you could have associated with.]

Snake Eyes 10:09

[You and your sister scare me]

Roman 10:11

[He has surprisingly little internet presence.]

Snake Eyes 10:11

[Told you. He’s shy]

Roman 10:12

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Roman returned to his room and picked up his laptop, this time to actually book the tickets he was supposed to have booked weeks ago. He had no doubt that they would arrive on Monday to discover that his family had already unearthed everything there was to know about his fake boyfriend - should he break that news to Logan before or after they were on the plane? Making the man paranoid might make their weekend photoshoot a lot more difficult.

Their photoshoot! If Logan was really on board, Roman would have to make this as easy as possible for him - and the performance of a lifetime for himself. Given that he was expected to bring a notebook to their meeting tomorrow, they were going to have to do a lot of brainstorming, so he might as well start coming up with ideas now. He already had a few as he grabbed a notepad from the mess on the floor and started hunting for a pencil.

No matter what his fake date said, this weekend was going to be a lot of fun.

who do u think r the biggest simps??

eigFJKD THIS ASK IS SO FUNNY TO ME THANK U PUT IN ORDER FROM MOST TO LEAST SIMP LIKE I PROB FORGOT PPL BC ITS LIKE LATE LATE BUT I WANTED TO WRITE THIS AHSLSEDS

1.) Hizashi: THIS MAN IS SUCH A SIMP IT’S PRESENT MIC I DON’T CARE EVEN A LITTLE BIT THIS MAN IS SUCH A FUCKING SIMP!!! I can’t explain it honestly i just...i can so picture him being the biggest idiot for his s/o he’s always looking at pics of them and staring at them when they’re around and he’s gonna compliment everything they do period. Like aw the way you sit is so cute, aw I love how you twirl pencils with your fingers when you’re trying to focus, aw your stutter is precious. And god even a tiny CRUMB of kindness from you will put him on cloud nine. Oh you like his jacket?? Okay, he can happily die now. He has pretty eyes? Excuse him he has to go cry in the bathroom. The sappier you get the easier it is to get your way. . He gives so many gifts, little stupid things that make him think of his s/o but also big extravagant gifts tht always leave them totally flustered and embarrassed. Biggest simp. Simp of the year. 

2.) Sekijiro- Sorry but.. Vlad king supremacy?? Idk why he’s such a respectful simp I just get those vibes from him. Like he’ll do anything his s/o asks, need something lifted? Ok he’ll be there in 5 minutes. Oh need help reaching something? Sure thing whatever you need. Had a bad day? Oh no well come sit here with me and we can talk about it or watch your favorite movie if you don’t wanna yet! This man loves love, if he gets hurt on the job, or has a bad day all he’s gonna wanna do is curl up with you and get all the kisses and loves and back rubs. If he’s having a bad day he’s def gonna sit around daydreaming about you. His phone bg is def either a pic of you together or just a pic of you, he has a lot of pics of you and he enjoys them very much. It’s always your way, you have to beg him to just tell you what he wants sometimes, and no ‘whatever you want babe’ isn’t a valid answer!!! sorry not sorry about it!! 

3. Toshinori- GOOODDDDD THIS MAN IS A SIMP. He’s totally stupid in love w his s/o the minute they meet. He’s all blushy and stupid and smiley at them and he’s always paying little tiny thoughtless compliments like ‘oh you have really nice hands’ or ‘you’re always so helpful (: I’m so lucky to get to work with you!’ He’s just happy to be around his s/o and he’ll do whatever they want. Shopping? Sure he’ll tag along. Got a bunch of boring errands to run? He’ll keep you company. Need to do a ton of house work? He can help! He also loves giving small gifts, and any matching thing on the planet will make his heart soar, rings of course, but also bracelets, key chains, mugs anything this man will want it. If you say a song reminded you of him he will listen to it on loop for weeks. He’s totally fantastically infatuated and it’s such obvious puppy love too.

4. Taishiro Toyomitsu- PLEASE again this man is a major simp gentleman. He holds doors he gets you flowers he cooks you dinner he talks about you all the time. Seriously all the time. Tamaki probably knows your whole life story by now all he does is brag about you. Complete a slightly difficult task? Everyone Taishiro interacts with is gonna know it. Even the villains. If he ever does an interview you’re getting brought up. He doesn’t care how much he has to bend over backward to do it, he’s gonna talk about you or he’ll perish. When you’re together it’s kisses and hugs all the time, he barely ever walks by without giving you some form of kiss, and god the amount of times this man says ‘i love you’ in one day, hell one hour, should be illegal. 

5. Kugo Sakamata- he’s not a super simp BUT he is still a simp, and the nicer you are to him the more simpish he becomes. If you have a normal comfortable give and take dynamic that’s good with him, but if you’re ever very affectionate with him he’ll be total putty in your hands. The longer you’re together the worse it gets. He loves gift-giving and there truly is nothing you can’t have. If you want it then it’s your’s Kugo doesn’t care, why would he? If it’ll make you happy then you can have as many as you want. So all in all, may not be a super simp at first but you can def mold him into one. 

6. Keigo Takami- He doesn’t simp at all in the beginning, he’s actually an annoying little turd. But the longer he spends with you the more infatuated he becomes until eventually it feels like going 6 hours without a kiss from you is majorly pushing it. Tokoyami has heard about every accomplishment you’ve ever made from your job to how quickly you did the dishes the night before. He has seen a thousand photos of you and probably knows you really well if he for whatever reason hasn’t met you. Because Keigo is always stopping to visit on patrols, or begging you to come to see him at the agency for lunch or just a quick hello if you’re going to be passing through. When he gets to know you all he wants to do is make you feel good.

7. Aizawa Shouta- people probably wanted him higher on this list but idk he doesn’t scream simp to me. In public he def does NOT simp, he might stare at you a little too long if he isn’t expecting to see you and he’ll always smile back if you smile at him but don’t expect him to plaster pictures of you everywhere and constantly talk about how much he loves you because that isn’t his style. In PRIVATE though?? This man can simp for the right cause. And sir can this man SIMP. What do you want? A bath? Okay I can do that. Your favorite food? Sure that’s easy. Massage? You don’t even have to ask! He likes the effect he has on you, watching you get flustered and melt at his affection is something he starts to really enjoy the longer the pair of you stay together. 

8. Mirai Sasaki- At first he doesn't simp, but once you hit a few milestones he’ll start. He likes making you laugh, and seeing your smile is at the top of his priority list, he has tons of photos of you smiling and if anyone is having a bad day he’ll think of some silly story about you to tell to cheer them up. Like others, his intern, Mirio, has heard all about you and probably knows you really well. He probably made it a point to introduce you after working with Mirio for a while. Mirio probably sees you as a package deal at this point. 

9.Nemuri Kayama- Girl does NOT simp. You simp for her  and you like it that way, periodsm!!! No actually though at first she also doesn’t simp at all, she doesn’t care, she can have pretty much anyone she wants so if you don’t like her then you can pack it up and find someone else. But the longer you stay with her the more she starts to warm up to it, she likes seeing you happy, so going the extra mile even if it is a bit much for her is something she’s going to start doing more and more. She’ll remember all your favorite things and give you random gifts. She’ll take lots of photos of you to keep for herself  and she’ll send you plenty of her own. She starts to also find a lot of comfort in you and will be looking for ways to spend time with you.

10. Enji Todoroki- I aint explaining this. Mans aint no simp. 

Falsely Accused of Cheating, Then Dumped

Date: April 2, 2009, a couple days after I turned 30.

I had been dating a wonderful girl, we’ll call her Ratchet, for almost 3 years. And we were good together, I really did see her as my soul mate. We weren't living together yet, but I was just a few weeks away from popping the question. However, as plans will be plans will go awry.

Enter my friend (we’ll call him Skidmark), who I'd known since freshman year at a well known university, he was also a fraternity brother and someone I'd be proud to call a real brother. This is the guy I would've asked to be my best man, and not as it's often portrayed in cheesy romantic comedies or whatever. That is, until his act of betrayal when he told Ratchet (A LIE) that I cheated on her. Also, he had no evidence of said infidelity.

How did this play out? Ratchet had been staying at my place for the past couple days and I arrived home to find her packing her things. When she saw me, she started shouting at me. A lot of it was hard to make out, other than the profanity but here's what I did remember:

"How could you do this to us"

"I can't believe you"

"Skidmark told me everything"

I attempted to interject a few times, almost in tears in one point when I shouted, "Just listen to me for a second!" but she just got all pissy that I yelled at her, and walked out after telling me to get fucked.

So obviously I called Skidmark a few times, left a voicemail asking WTF he told her and wanting to know why he dragged me through the mud like that. The next morning I went over to his apartment - to find that he moved a couple days ago. How convenient.

The next day, I get a call from another good friend of mine (he was a solid guy, so let’s call him Solid - we met at the same university/fraternity) and it went something like this:

"Um, are you sitting down"

"No, what do you want to tell me"

"When did you break up with Ratchet?"

"I didn't, Skidmark told her that I cheated on her and she walked out on me"

"I just drove past that dive in your old neighborhood, she's with him. They were all smiles, holding hands and everything - I was wondering what was ..."

(I disconnected)

So it doesn’t take the guys from True Detective to figure out that he orchestrated this from beginning to end, and his prize was a new girlfriend – now my ex.

At the time, it felt like this backstabbing bastard destroyed my life.

Fast forward to six weeks later ….

On a Friday night Solid went to a popular bar/club in the area to hang out and throw down a few brews. And who do you think walks in about 15 minutes later.

Why, it was Skidmark!

It was a pretty large bar, and Solid apparently did a pretty good job of not being seen, even though he did see a few things:

Skidmark went in alone, but he's talking to some girl maybe 5 minutes later. A few minutes later, he buys her a drink. A few minutes after that, they're on the dance floor.

A few minutes after that .... let's say Skidmark could have gotten arrested if he didn't have consent to put his hands where they were.

Keep in mind, Solid has already sent me several texts about what's been going on. At one point he included several photos of the handsy dancers. In the last photo Skidmark was kissing the girl.

And now he must be melting his phone with how fast the texts are coming in.

"You gotta nail this guy, Ratchet needs to know what's going on!"

"Shit he almost saw me!"

"I had to skip out of there, but I've done enough damage heh heh"

"He was kissing her in that last one, wanna bet he'll go all the way?"

This is where the plan comes together. I tell him to get in touch with Ratchet, and ask her to meet him (about something urgent) at a coffee shop close to where he lives. Note: his place was over 30 min away from where I lived, so hopefully Ratchet wouldn't be suspicious. I recommended a coffee shop because it's a public place with outdoor seating.

Sunday morning, May 17:

I remember everything about this encounter – what I was wearing, what she was wearing, what it smelled like, it’s permanently etched in my memory. I approached a couple minutes after they sat down. Once Ratchet saw me, her face physically changed, and she immediately got up to leave. Solid reached out and grabbed her arm before saying "You owe me, remember? Sit down and listen!"

She reluctantly sits down, and with a very pissy look on her face she asks, "What do YOU want, Parkesc?" ***

I respond, "What he said, sit down and listen" and I ask to borrow his phone so I can call up Skidmark. I hand him mind and tell him to pull up the photos when I give him the signal.

Here’s how the conversation went:

Skidmark answers with "Sup Solid"

I respond, with the speakerphone on, "Well hey buddy!"

There’s a brief pause followed by “uuuh”

“No it’s Parkesc. I hope you don’t mind; I’m using Solid’s phone since mine’s dead.”

(Keep in mind, Skidmark’s voice in the rest of this conversation is pretty sheepish)

“Long time no see man, what’s been going on?”

“A whole lot’s been going on, actually. How was Friday night?”

“How was Friday night?”

“Yeah”

“Why would you ask man … I mean I … I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah I think we both know why you haven’t seen me in a while, but anyway, Solid told me he saw you at the bar the other night, getting down with some hottie.”

“Who said that”

“Solid, you know, our fraternity brother from (that university). And, ummmm, he saw you. With that girl. And he may or may not have taken some pictures.”

“What?”

By the way, Ratchet’s eyes are getting pretty big right now, Solid is motioning her to be quiet. She mouthed the words WHAT THE FUCK as he began to open my phone and go to the pics.

“Yeah I got a LOT of pictures. And you know, I think I can guess who would like to see them.”

“Cmon man, don’t do this man. Why you doin this, man? Why you doin this?”

“What are you kidding me? We haven’t spoken in over a month because you lied to my girlfriend that I was in love with and planning to marry. Now you’re messing around behind HER back.”

“Man it isn’t like I was trying to steal her, man.”

“WELL MAYBE YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO DO, because Solid also mentioned he saw you two together. That was TWO DAYS after she walked out on me.”

“It’s not like that man, and you’re not gonna anything. I know you’re mad, but, cmon man.”

There was a brief pause, and my brain almost did a Ctrl-Alt-Delete after that auditory fuckpoop.

“No, you don’t know. And I’m not gonna CMON MAN.”

“Are you kidding me, you’re really gonna …”

“I’m doing this – right now, in fact. You’ve been on speaker the whole time, and Solid isn’t the only person here with me.”

“WHAT?”

And finally Ratchet chimed in.

“I cannot even believe you did this. What the hell? You’ve totally ….totally been lying to me and now you're cheating on me too?"

“No, no, no it wasn’t ….. FUCK! Really, Parkesc?”

“Basically, they’ve shown me all the pictures, I’ve been looking at them this whole time. What’s wrong with you, Skidmark??”

“I didn’t even know her.”

“What you mean, you didn’t know her??”

“Ok, you know what, fuck you Parkesc!”

And then Solid says his piece:

"WHOA WHOA WHOA, first of all, dude, you stole your best friend's girl with a BS lie, you just admitted it, and you're cheating on her anyhow!"

"Fine, whatever, it didn’t mean anything ….”

Ratchet responds with "Oh Please!” before she hangs up on him and turns toward me. She hands the phone back to Solid and he gives me back my phone with half a smile and a raised eyebrow. He probably expected a gratifying end to this escapade.

“Parkesc I am really sorry, I made a mistake. Is there any way ...."

“Stop right there!” I abruptly interject, with a sharp glare in my eye.

They’re both in shock.

“No, you never believed me, didn’t listen to one word I had to say. And you had no evidence, you just took that fuckhead’s word and walked out on me. Was it worth it?”

Solid was pretty much catatonic, stunned into silence. By the time I was halfway back to my car, I could have sworn I heard Ratchet starting to cry. I wouldn’t know because I refused to look back.

*** By the way, you’re probably wondering what the asterisks were for. Up until that point, there was still a snowflake’s chance in hell that Ratchet and I would get back together. When she didn’t even want to hear me out (yet again), I was done. I just didn’t let her know until I was finished with Skidmark.

I never heard from either of them again. Good riddance.

(source) story by (/u/parkesc)

🌷hobi having a crush on you 🌷

-hobi and you were inseparable, and when I say inseparable I mean it

-he introduced you to all of his friends and everyone knew you guys became a package deal

- he loooves spending time with you , which would already be a dead giveaway bc hobi's a really social guy, so him choosing to spend his time with you so often would already say a lot

-very playful and spontaneous, looots of laughter together

-you guys' favourite thing to do together would be karaoke and the two of you would put some singers to shame bc singing - check - dancing - audience wildin' and partying to you two - check bc the whole neighbourhood knew you by now and people would leave their own booth at the bar to come and watch you two (which would turn to spontaneous parties that would be absolutely legendary (and the place would be so packed that even dispatch would be like fuck no we ain't goin in))

-you'd come to watch bts' dance practices sometimes and just sit there and watch this completely different side of hobi come out

- he dances with such a passion that you can't do anything but watch him in awe, completely enthralled by the way he moves

-this was also something that made you fall for him slowly, you loved the fact that he was absolutely passionate about everything he does and puts his energy in

-and you admired him so much, bc he was still humble about his talent & also this innate ability to light up every room he walks in

- you almost felt like icarus trying to bask in the sun and sometimes felt like your feelings for him may get you too close and you would get hurt

-and whenever you would get into that mood, it would be hobi himself to snap you out of it, unknowingly

"hobi, there's no reason for me to come to the christmas party, you guys are like family, why would i be there?"

"nonsense, you're family, too. i want you to be there." ---and that's it, that's how he handled your moods, he always made you feel cherished and most importantly loved--

- he would play with your hair a lot and would be very touchy in general, the supreme method to shut down hobi.exe would be playing with his hair, he'd legit lay down and and go quiet, but chances are he's gonna fall asleep (and boy would he get cranky when you wake him up)

- he'd love to make you laugh and sing lil songs and do lil dances for you when you would make tea or something ("look it's y/n, making tea for mee, hobiii~, this sure looks like chamomile, chamomile is just my style, my legs are so sore, I'm gonna go lay on the floor..."*his voice fades* - "u ok there hobi?" - *weak* "no..") [btw chamomile tea helps with sore muscles ☺️]

- his spontaneous dances would be the best, he'd drop it to maluma and lowkey get emotional when you'd turn on some flamenco songs ("y/n, i should be a flamenco dancer, this music speaks to my soul" - "whatever you say, horacio" )

- he would sometimes give you very obvious signals:

"oh we're both wearing jean jackets, almost like a couple look hmmm~~~"

"you cooked for me ?? caring for me, like we're a couple hmmm~~~"

"look at us sharing our drinks like we're a couple hmmm~~~"

-and tbh, you guys would be the couple that has no idea that they're a couple bc you never truly established something along that lines

-but you truly liked him, after all, he's mr sunshine, with the most generous heart and boy's got the prettiest side profile you've ever seen (you knew you were whipped when you went for drinks with a friend and ended up being an emotional drunk who gushed about hobi's lil nose)

-hobi always gets shy when u praise him and you're like "BOI I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY LONG" and he'd go "noooo stop" and backflip to the other side of the room bc he got shy again but he secretly loves it (honestly, it would lift his entire mood, to a hyper extent.... one day you didn't have the time to stay for their dance practices and met hobi shortly before they started, to say bye and such, and you encouraged him to be strong, bc you knew how tough the new choreography was, and told him "you, horacio, dancing king of my heart, can do this, now go prove your title or I won't make you any pancakes for a week" and he SCREAMED in joy & spun you around like 3 times and sprinted to the practice room, you got one (1) single text from jin at 02.17 am, which you opened, confused at hell, it just said: "idk what you said to hobi before practice but you owe me a spa weekend for the muscle pain i have rn")

-but hobi is only human too, he also gets into low moods, which you help him through by simply not going anywhere even when he detaches himself from you and everyone else for that matter

-you knew he had to recharge and gave him some space without entirely distancing yourself from him ofc, you guys would still text tho from time to time

-you knew that he had practice again and one day you stopped by with some food you prepared for him and gave it to a staff member to pass it to hobi, bc you didn't want to intrude, and hobi would text you back a pic of the empty lunch boxes you packed for him with a caption like this: "👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻💗💖💝💓💞💕🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️" (hobi talk for "you are and angeeeel, i loooove you & thank youuu") and you were happy with yourself and happy for hobi bc you knew this would cheer him up

-he came over to yours like 2 days later and your heart ached a little bc he was obviously exhausted but still shot you a smile when you opened the door

- you pulled him inside and hugged him, neither of you spoke a word, hobi just sighed and buried his face in your neck

- he came inside and you made tea for the two of you and prepared some snacks too and you caught him looking at you a few times, but his gaze was different... you couldn't quite pinpoint what it was and just thought that's it's probably just random and that he's tired, since he also didn't speak a lot that evening.. anyway you chilled in front of the tv and had a night in, which he gladly accepted because his legs were so sore he wasn't even sure if he could leave your place in first place

-so you spread out on one sofa, while hobi layed down on to the other one

-whenever you weren't looking, hobi stared at you with the most smitten look on his face, especially when you'd giggle about some scene in the movie you were watching, and unable to contain his feelings for himself, he'd flat out tell you:

"you know, if there wouldn't be a risk of me face-planting onto the floor, I'd be on that couch and kiss you"

- he couldn't quite tell if his words made your face go red or if it was bc of your near-death experience after choking on your nachos when korea's dancing king told u he wants to smooch

(-"you ok now ?"

"yeah, alive and kicking"

"good bc- don't eat that now- I have plans for us 👀"

"maybe I do too 👀👀"

" 👀👀👀")

however, you decided you should talk this out when both of you were less tired

- but you didn't... bc hobi was busy again

- days had passed and hobi didn't say a word which was really disheartening for you bc after that kiss-statement you really thought you would finally clarify what was going on between you two and talk about dating and stuff, so you mustered all your courage and texted him: "hey, i know ur busy and all, which is why im gonna keep it as short as possible.... hoseok, i wanna talk about what you said to me the other day and i know this could potentially change our friendship forever, but i liked you for a while now and I wanna now if you were just joking around back then or if u actually were serious"

-the next hours would be absolutely agonizing for you bc deep down you truly feared that this may ruin your friendship with him, but you needed clarity, even though it was really clear that he liked you, but you weren't sure how and asked yourself if you may have read too much into his actions and words.... you threw your phone on your bed and tried keeping yourself busy with something that would keep you from looking at your phone. you failed miserably tbh and you were contemplating deleting the text the entire time... "this is so stupid, I can't risk this..." you thought and were about to open the messenger to delete your text, when you saw that he texted back....: "you never call me hoseok" (you had to took deep breaths to calm yourself down or you would probably have stormed into bighit and throw your phone at him)

- you: "this is really all you have to say ???? "

and he texted back shortly after and you were like oohhh, im gonna grill jung hoseok now

him: "well you never call me hoseok, so I guess this is very serious to you"

you: "yeah NO SHIT sherlock, i confessed my feelings for you and this is how you answer me ?????

him: "im serious too, don't be like that!"

you: "well how tf should i know if you're serious or not??"

him: "you could open your door and find out"

-to use the word "dumbfounded" for how you felt the second you read that would be the understatement of the century, you threw your phone away and bolted to the door

-and there he was.. standing there and smiling at you as radiantly as ever

- he held a plush in one hand and playfully waved at you with the other the other, in which he was holding his phone. he gave you the plush and laughed at you bc you still were completely baffled, but you started laughing too

- you: mang beats any flower anyways.. (you took the mang plush and put it on a rack by the door)

him: yup! and why buy flowers when you have me? *does the flower pose*

- you: you're unbelievable, jung hoseok

him: ohh full name now, it's getting very serious ~

you: stop teasing!!

-you felt that you were blushing and turned away from him, still unable to hide your smile. hobi laughed while he quickly stepped through the doorway, just in time to grab your wrist and make you face him again. "look at us, y/n, playfully bickering like a couple hmm~~", he said and gave you a smirk that made your knees weak, but you'd be damned if you'd show him that. So you looked him straight into his eyes with a cocky smile and asked: "anything you wanna ask me, jung hoseok?"

"you don't even know what you do to me with that smile of yours, sweetheart..."

"answer the question, jung hoseok."

"look at us us, flirting like a couple hmm~~"

(you didn't even notice how close you two were standing until there were only a few inches between your lips and his)

"I'm waiting", you whispered.

"i really think... ", he began and gently cupped your face meanwhile... "i really think that we should be a couple" he said and finally closed the little space which had remained between your lips.

Day 13 : Pining - Sal Fisher

Okay, first of all, yay! For learning a new word! At first I read this as ‘Pinning’ instead of ‘Pining’ and I had a whole different concept of how this would go. So when I learnt what this super weird looking word meant, I had to spontaneously change the character. But I think I made the right choice <3

Art by https://iron-dude.tumblr.com

“Sal, are you home? Are you alone? We need to talk, it’s very important. Code red urgent.” I texted Sal, biting my lip as I clutch the letter in my hand really hard, trying not to break it. “Yeah, you can come over. What happened? Is it the cult again?” he texted back almost instantly, making me smile at his concern. “No bb it’s oki. I’ll be there in a sec. Love u.” I send him immediately, already on my way out to Addison Apartments, where Sal was already waiting in the doorway.

I hug him tightly, guiding him to his room where we stood criss-crossed on the bed facing each other, not really daring to say anything for a while before I sighed, my hands trembling.

“Kat...? What happened? Can I help in any way? Or do you want to just talk?” he asked with so much worry in his voice that I almost started crying. “Promise you wont hate me? No matter what I’m gonna tell you? I love you so much that I don’t want to lose you.” I usher, no daring to look up just yet. “What...? Kat, sweetheart, you know I could never hate you. What’s going on, please tell me.” he held my hands, trying to calm me down. “Remember when I told you that I applied for a few top tier Vet Universities in the country? And I had to go away for about a week or so to go around and take a bunch of Entrance exams and I had all those panic attacks and depression break downs and whatever?” I held his hands, finally able to find my voice. “Yeah, of course I remember. Why, what happened? Are you okay? Did you have another panic attack or some of those moods and you didn’t tell me?” he asked, sort of panicked. “Read this.”  I hand him the envelope and he gently takes it, reading it out loud. “Dear Miss Katrina Black, we are happy to inform you that you got accepted to our University...Oh my Goodness, Kat, that’s insane! This is the best Vet Uni in the country, you’re amazing! I knew you could do it!” he threw his arms around me, hugging me tightly as I lost my balance and fell on the pillows, giggling a bit. “Yeah...It is great, isn’t it? I wasn’t expecting to make it.” I chuckled nervously, hugging him back. “I was sure you’d make this. You’ve worked so hard these years, it would have been impossible not to. And besides, you’ve always been so smart and you love animals so much, you’ll make an amazing Vet!” he tried to hype me up, but despite how happy I was, I was still conflicted. “Sal...It’s in another state. I will have to move to another state by myself for 6 years, and I’ll only be able to come back home for holidays, as far as I know. It’s...Pretty far from here and I don’t think I can afford train tickets. You know how bad we’re doing with money, especially now that we were finally able to find a slightly bigger apartment in which I will be able to move in once I’m out of Uni...Which is in another city too. This is what I wanted to talk about, Sal. We have to figure out what to do.” I raised again, looking down at him, and I could see his eyes widening in realisation from behind the mask. “Ah...You’re right. I didn’t realse that until now. You’ve always been the one to think of everything.” he chuckled slightly. “That’s why I said I hoped you wouldn’t hate me. I won’t be able to be here and see each other too often. And you know how distance takes its toll on relationships...I don’t want that to happen to us too. I’m...Kinda scared.” I mutter the last bit, my lip, feeling tears threatening to spill. “Baby, it’s okay. We love each other and that’s what matters, right? 6 years will fly like a breeze, especially since we’re both in Uni, it’s gonna be a lot of work and we won’t even realise when we already get to see each other again. And besides, we have phones to text and call each other, right?” he tried to reason, and got into a sitting position too, putting his hands on my shoulders. “Won’t you...Y’know...Get bored of being alone or something? There’s only so many holidays per year...” I looked away, insecurity and nervousness taking over me. “Kat...Remember the time when we met? And then, when you first saw my face?” Sally asked all of a sudden, making me turn my gaze to his, raising my eyebrow in confusion. “What do you mean...? Of course I remember. What does it have to do with this situation?” I blinked, trying to understand the connection, but instead, he took off his mask, looking at me with a smile. “You were the shyest kid in class, and yet, when the bullies started making fun of me, you were the only one who said something. And then they started making fun of you, and you started crying, and then I started beating them up, and we all got suspended. You’ve always been so sensitive and emotional, I guess your empathy is what brought us together.” he had tears in his eyes, remembering that memory, but it kinda made me cringe. “Uh...Yeah, you got attracted to a cry-baby, great job, darling.” I chuckled awkwardly, wiping away a tear from the corner of my eye. “A cry-baby who’s the sweetest and kindest person in the world. Remember when some idiot in class thought it’d be funny to unclasp my mask in class, and you got sooo pissed off that you hugged my face to your chest to hide it while you yelled at the kids and tried to put back my mask without looking? But then the teacher came so it was only the two of us in the class, and I let you look and you just kissed my cheek and put my mask back? Jeez, that was such a long time ago, but I remember so well. I started crying, and yet, you call yourself cry-baby? Pshhhh, as if.” he chuckled in amusement at the memory that I remembered so fondly, as I kissed his cheek now too, just like back then. “I can’t forget that, Sugar Plum Fairy Sally. Your pigtails were so cute, I always loved making them for you.” I grinned, taking Sal’s hair and pulled up his beautiful long blue hair, making it seem as if he had pigtails again. “My point is, Kat, that my heart has been with you since that moment, and there’s no way that will change. So really, go there, smash your way through Uni, and when this is over, we’ll both be adults and we can...Uh...I don’t know what adults do, but we’ll be independent. At least financially.” he shrugged, making it obvious that he doesn’t want to back away from this. “Y’know...While I can’t take you with me at the Students’ Hall during Uni...We can move in together in my new apartment after I finish Uni. It will be only mine, after all. It would be nice not to be alone...And if it’s you, then...Well...” I looked up at him with a timid smile, which mirrored his, as he put his arms around me again, kissing my forehead. “It will all go well, dear. I promise.” he reassured me, and I could finally feel at peace.

Of course, these 6 years have been very difficult, because we always wanted to be close to one another and we missed each other so much. Holidays only became teases as the time spent together was so short, yet meaningful, and having to go back to Uni only made the cut run even deeper.

We would cross days, weeks, months and years, making small progress and objectives out of each holiday passed, each year passed, until the 6 years finally passed and we had such a powerful longing for each other, that it almost seemed like our hearts would break each day until we would see each other again.

His Uni was only 4 years long, so he finished faster, and I was SO proud seeing him in his graduation robes, and then him throwing the cap in the air with the rest of his colleagues. I couldn’t help myself taking so many pics of my beautiful boy.

The same happened vice versa, when I finished and he came over for my graduation, it turned into an outright photoshoot without even realising. And even better, Larry, Ash, Todd and Neil were able to come over too, so we managed to have such a cool party that everyone enjoyed.

The final exams and my license presentation went by very fast, and after that, I was able to get my Masters and PhD in no time, despite having to stay there more than 6 years, but it was worth it.

In the mean time, Sal would constantly text me motivational, loving, emotionally supportive things, knowing how prone to depression I am and that it’s still very hard for me to keep the straight path towards the light.

When I was finally over with my education, my parents drove over to help me pack everything there, then we got directly to my new apartment that I decorated the way I dreamt.

What I wasn’t expecting, however, was to see Sally and the rest there, with lots of “Welcome Home” decorations, balloons and all that, making me start sobbing, completely overwhelmed by emotions, not even able to talk.

“I missed you so much, baby. Welcome home.” Sally muttered into my ear as he hugged me tightly, swinging me around a bit. “I love you so much, Sal, I love you so much. I missed you so so so fucking much, I can’t believe we’re finally at this point where I don’t have to be cities away from you and I can see you every godamn day when I come home, and wake up with you every morning.” I cry into his chest, clutching the back of his shirt tightly, still trembling a bit from the emotions. “It’s okay, sweety, we’re finally together and nothing can change us. We will be okay now, I promise. I love you so much, Kat. So much. I’m so glad we’re finally together now.” he held me tight to his chest, stroking my hair reassuringly, as he always did. “Yo, dudes, enough with the depressing shit, let’s par-TAAAAY!” Larry shouted at us, making us laugh as he brought CDs of Sanity’s Fall, AC/DC, Dir en Grey, Linkin Park and many others, while Ash brought the snacks and Todd and Neil brought the drinks, while my parents kissed my cheeks before leaving us to our party.

All day and night we gossiped, exchanged all the stories possible, stupid or not, we sang karaoke, played video and board games, got shitfaced drunk out of happiness and all that, and God, was it so godamn fine having everyone together again.

Of course, the next day they had to leave, except for Sally who moved in with me, thankfully, but now it would be much easier to go and visit our friends.

The next day, we just stood cuddled together in bed, our legs intertwined, our arms around each other, occasionally kissing each other and confession our love to each other here from time to time, when we wanted to break the comforting silence.

“I missed you so much, baby. I have no words to explain, but it hurt so much knowing that you’re so far away. Every day was so painful, even though I had friends and hung out with them, went to a few parties, conventions and what not. Studying managed to take my mind away from that dark feeling that kept eating me away, but at night...Gosh, the nights were the worst. I spent so many times crying ‘cause I was feeling so lonely and I just wanted to go to you and have you in my arms all night. Sometimes it was so godamn hard not to give up everything...But I had to. That’s what I always say. I have to. I must. And I did it, and now, I’m finally with you, just like I’ve always dreamt.” I poured my heart out to him, stroking his smooth hair, gazing lovingly at his face. “I know, honey, I know, but it’s okay now. I had a lot of help from our friends, and now that Lisa married dad, making Larry my brother made it better, otherwise, I don’t know what I’d have done. Uni was tough as all hell, but I had you as my ambition to keep on going so we could finally meet up to this point. You’re a doctor now, Kat. Doctor Kitty. I couldn’t let you down, y’know? I had to be in your league. Now we can both make money and travel the world, just like we’ve always dreamt of. Can you believe we’ve been together for what? 10 years or so? Unbelievable. And you didn’t get bored of me. You’re still my girlfriend, do you even realise how lucky and proud I am to say that I’m your boyfriend? Jeez, I’m still shook sometimes when I think back at everything we’ve been through and how happy I feel every time I think of you, of your smile, of your gentle touch, your soft lips, how warm you are, how mesmerising your chocolate perfume is, how pretty you look all the time without even trying, how much I love having you in my arms when we sleep together...And...And...Even when...When...We’d make love, it felt like the most ethereal thing in the world, like I was in a dream. I love you, Kat. So much, it’s unreal.” he whispered the last bit, as if afraid that if he said any louder, the spell will break. “I love you, Sal. Nothing is ever going to change that. I am yours and you are mine, forever and ever.” I kissed him, hooking my pinky to his, to show him that I pinky promise everything will be okay. “Forever and ever.” he repeated after me, in a voice as sweet as never before. 

i am posting this here because i am tired of burdening my boyfriend with my feelings. this is a little nsfw. and this is my call for help. i dont know who to talk to anymore about this.

i need someone to hear what i feel

or at least, a free space to say what i feel 

im in a low place. i feel so awful about myself and my body and i hate this feeling. i hate that this time last year, i was so happy about the way i looked. i was working this awful job that had me so overworked and overtired and poorly treated that i skipped meals and slept through meals regularly... i lost so much weight from stress in just a year and was the skinniest i had ever been. mentally, i was not in a good place being exploited by my managers... but my self esteem re: my body was at a new level i never knew could exist for me.

last year, i felt powerful and confident about my body, and i expressed that through sexuality. i was fucking my ex that i still liked (i grew out of wanting him back, but he never did, and it was nice to have the upper hand). i was also fucking an old fwb that i stayed friends with, that was also recently single, so we reunited again at the perfect time. i was also seeing this one guy (now my boyfriend) so if ever i got tired of the sex i at least was able to calm down and settle down with someone who genuinely wanted to know me. of course, i ended up catching feelings for this guy, and cut off the other two to pursue something more serious (we are now dating and are moving in together next month!) anyways, it was so nice to be wanted. to feel... i guess sexy? sex is empowering. and it shouldn’t be taboo to say that as a woman, or anyone really. i dont want to give off the message that a woman’s validation is fueled by men’s desire - but hey, don’t you feel flattered when someone thinks you’re attractive? desire and lust aren’t everything... but they matter. and they have an impact on how you feel about yourself, whether or not you believe me when i say that is up to you. 

 and i hate that i would gladly put myself through the stress that i did just to feel happy about my body. before the summer ended, i finally had enough and i quit my shitty job. i was jobless for a month, but was able to enjoy the rest of the summer with my new ‘skinny’ body - last year i took my first bikini picture ... a 2 piece! i have never done that. i still think about how happy i was that summer to look and feel good about myself. 

i have struggled with self esteem issues since highschool. i always felt like i was too big. i used to follow all these blogs of pretty people and try to copy their poses to feel pretty and i used to spend hours after school trying on short dresses and clothes to stare at my body in the mirror. i used to starve myself to the point of literally wanting to faint on the daily, until finally i admitted it to one of my teachers. she respectfully asked if i wanted to speak with the school guidance counsellor, and i declined. but she encouraged me to speak up to at least a friend, so i did, and it helped, and for a long time, i was okay. after i graduated that teacher still checked up on me for a few years every now and again.

4th year university was when i realized how much i had let myself go. i was the heaviest i had ever been, it was my graduating year, i was looking for a job and was always worried about my grades. every time i was stressed or every time i needed to study i bought pad thai and bubble tea. a ritual. i didnt realize how much that had caught up to me until i saw old pictures of myself. at this point, i started my (shitty) job, straight out of graduation.

i actively avoided scales, i didn’t like looking at the number because it just made me upset. and i already felt upset looking in the mirror, i didn’t need something else to make me upset. but i did. and i was 20 pounds heavier than i was in highschool - the heaviest i had ever been.

i cried.

i didnt do much about it. i was too busy. my first job out of uni was a brand new daycare and i was head teacher of a toddler class - also i was the only staff on floor since there were not as many kids. there was nobody to train me, at all. i had to teach myself everything. i had no time. 

a little while before starting the job, i met this guy. he was so hot, but such a dick - we had a “thing” but it was so toxic. he started off interested in me, but i turned him down. his attitude changed and he started being a douche, but we became friends because we were seeing each other so often. i didn’t have a car yet. he was driving me everywhere. he lived 5 minutes away. he was the type of friend that would text me “im outside, lets go out”. we hung out as friends at first, we would have “study dates”, until we started hooking up. we acted like a thing but he denied we were ever one - but got mad at me whenever i tried to look elsewhere. but i guess in that time, it was nice to be wanted, especially by someone so attractive. 

but again, a year in that shithole job went by fast. i would stay late after work. i would come in on weekends. i was expected to not only help new kids transition, but train new partners. and given that my supers refused to support me, i watched a lot of people quit due to pressure. i had to keep retraining. and kids kept coming. that never stopped. i can honestly say my class wasn’t settled until december, and i started in september. everyday it was ‘its fine, it will get better’. 

a year in that shithole, with 0 support, and i lost all the weight i gained - and more. i was the skinniest i had ever been. even in highschool. i looked at old pictures of myself from when i started the job at my heaviest. i couldnt believe that was me. and i was so happy looking at myself in the mirror. for once! 

after i quit that job, i started another job that i hoped would be a happy ending.

and it wasn’t. it stressed me out just as much. i also moved out by this point, a month after i started this job. my hours are whack. 7-9, 11:30-6. i woke up early and got home late. i never had free time. my last shift at my old job was 7-3:30 and i had the whole day to myself. im someone that needs social interaction and alone time, and by the time i got home i was so tired, i would just cook, clean, shower, and go to bed. and that was my life. sometimes i would get so tired that i couldn’t cook, i just went and ate out. i tried to make personal time with my friends after work but by the time i reached their house, it was late, and places were closed. and id have to leave early anyways because i had work early the next day... so fast food was the only way to make this work. on top of this, this was the most difficult class that i had ever had. the kids behaviours’ were so difficult and i couldn’t handle it. i would cry in my car 3x a week. i would cry 4 minutes before my shift starts in the washroom and walk out and pretend i was okay. i would have my boyfriend come over as much as i could just so i could cry in his arms. i couldnt leave this job because i had just moved out and having a consistent rent payment was a huge responsibility for me. as well, if you know anything about ECEs in canada, just know we make shit pay. but this job pays me better than most ECE jobs... by a landslide. AND gives me benefits, which is so hard to find. i am still at this job - i was at my breaking point at the time covid started, so i was rejoicing when we closed for covid. i havent worked since march, but i needed that time off so desperately. 

with that being said, i gained the weight back.

not everything, but i definitely could tell i was packing on some pounds.

cue covid.

i havent worked since march. i fell back into a lazy routine of ordering fast food. lying in bed. resting. just enjoying NOT dealing with my difficult class. 

but i gained it all back. and i think im back at my heaviest weight. i picked up all my summer clothes from last year from my moms... half of them dont fit me. my favourite pair of shorts won’t close. i just sat and cried in a mess of clothes on my floor in front of the mirror. this was last week.

im trying to tell myself, ‘you’re in the middle of a global pandemic, go easy on yourself’... but do you know what it’s like to finally get what you’re chasing, and have it be taken away from you? i finally had a taste of what it was like to look AND feel good about myself. something ive wanted since i was a teenager...and it’s gone. it’s my fault and i accept that, so please don’t tell me i did this to myself. i know i did. but i can still be upset about it. i look in the mirror and i try to suck my stomach in and pretend nothing changed but its not the same. i see old pictures of myself, especially that bikini pic. ironically, i captioned it “i will never have the confidence to take a bikini pic again”... and here we are. i look at the clothes i wore last year and remember how fucking good i felt wearing them. i try putting them back on and seeing my stomach bulging and my arms looking fat and my love handles, something i didn’t see last year. and i just take them off and opt to wear something frumpier that doesnt hug my figure.

i try to tell people about how i feel but i cant take those ‘love yourself and all your flaws’ campaigns seriously. i dont think i can listen to another ‘you have to just keep faking it until you make it and if u just tell urself ur beautiful u will feel beautiful!’

because if you’re me, you know you cant kid yourself. if you’re me you can’t ‘love every flaw’. you fixate on them. and you let them define you. and if youre me, flaws are all you see.

i hate myself for getting back to this point. 

i have a very supportive boyfriend that knows about all this, who is trying to actively get me to go on runs with him. we are trying to go for walks more and be out and about. he reminds me of little things, like if we are getting bubbletea he will suggest i go with less sugar. he is trying, we are trying. and i appreciate him so much.

today i complained in my car about this to my boyfriend, again. for the millionth time. and he still was supportive. but i just feel like i cant keep doing this to him. he said something today, which i think was him trying to give me a reality check to show me that i cant just wish i could starve myself and overwork myself to lose weight and call it a day... but it stung. he said “i don’t want to be with someone that’s not healthy. i have standards too” and i realized then he deserves so much better than to fucking babysit my complaining ass. i am 24. and i shouldnt be putting this on him. he is an adult with problems just as real as mine and i shouldnt be burdening him with this anymore. 

im scared to talk to him about how that comment made me feel, because he’s so right, and he has every right to leave me. i would honestly. the amount that i worry and fixate on all my flaws and complain and have crying breakdowns about this is not fucking normal. and it shouldnt be his problem. i just want him to be with someone that doesnt give him this baggage. he met me in my ‘prime’ days when i just started getting my skinny body last year. when we finally started dating, we were super sexually active. and i mean, having sex like 15 times a week. im not kidding. now we havent had sex in almost an entire month. i dont feel sexy anymore and its impacting my sex drive.. he tries to start it with me and i just can’t because i feel like he is probably repulsed by my body. this is a huge huge huge problem, seeing as sex was a huge part of our relationship (we are very emotionally in tune with one another, but sex was a great addon because we both love it so much). i hate the way i look without clothes on. i cant bring myself to do it because it makes me feel like shit about myself.

but we are moving in together next month. and that is a huge step. and i am worried that i will never change, and he’s going to feel like he’s stuck with me because he’s moving 40 minutes away from his hometown to live with me. i almost want us to break up so he can be with someone with less baggage but i also love him and i want to be better for him and for us. 

someone please help me. 

‘babylove’?

requested: nope

warnings: nothing this is really cute (language is a given at this point)

pairings: tom holland x reader

type: fluff ; headcanon/list ; 2k+ words ; gender neutral

summary: it's the first time you visit the holland's at their home in london, and you're trying your hardest to impress everyone. you aren't tom's lover just yet, but it's obvious that you two fancy each other.

disclaimer: the depictions of tom holland and the holland family in this are of my own imagination. none of this is real!

a/n: another oldie of mine refurbished and posted here! back when my writing was Decent LOL.

p.s., the dialog isn’t like it is with my latest ones as in y/n gets italics and bold n everyone else just gets italics. it’s just emphasized when need be, and i thought it was alright that way. srry if it bothers anyone who reads my newer stuff!! adding in a disclaimer from now on too. never got someone thinking something was real, but it’s good to be prepared :-)

also, when i put things in parentheses, it's usually me putting in my reactions.

"PIP PIP 'N CHEERIO GOVENAH!"

"y/n we don't actually say that"

"tom, i have to get myself situated. with the boiling tea and crumpet chip biscuit whatevers.”

YEEHAW. you're traveling to meet tom's family back in london.

you've met harry, sam, and harrison already, but there were still three very important people to meet

you had met tom through a mutual actor friend who brought you on set one day

obviously it went like a fairy tale

your friend left you alone on set while they went to get snacks for you both

tom seen you, and came to tell you that only actors could be on set at that time

causing you to freak out, because UH, spider-man is speaking to you (ohMygOd, it'spEterparker)

which of course made tom cocky, and he was like "ayyyyy baby i'll give u an autograph"

then your friend came back and officially introduced you two

and tom saying "you're friends with y/f/n? i'm so sorry"

"i know. it's tragic."

"you two are perfect for each other" with an eye roll

so to say the least, you and tom had sparks from the beginning

not to mention the backhanded, sarcastic compliments that often lead to flirty and witty comebacks

"you're cute, for 5′8″.

"good thing you have a good personality because that outfit today was... :/"

"just wait until i see you again. you're dead, holland"

"well why don't you come over right now and show me what you'd do?”

going over to play wrestle until you dominate him and straddle his hips while your breath is hitched and he'd just look up at you like "holy fuck"

with the whole banter situation taking place, it kind of shocked you when tom asked you if you wanted to visit his family with him

like, REALLY took you off guard

because this was really domestic of him, and he hadn't really ever showed that side to you

but nonetheless, you took the opportunity

took a bit of persuading to get your family to allow you, but eventually, everyone agreed.

(boy it's a good thing you got that passport that you totally didn't get for the sole purpose of this occurring)

"as long as you call every morning and night, and text when necessary. and take pics."

lots of preparation through facetime

"i heard it's really fuckin' cold in england. should i pack a parka?"

"y/n it's not that cold. plus you won't need two."

"what do you mean i won't need two if i-"

in a thick accent "peta parka."

"...."

deep sigh

"can i get a refund for my ticket"

"don't think so, love" in a soft laughing tone

(AAAAHHHHHH)

after two or so weeks of packing and unpacking, and checking the checklist fifty times, it was finally time to depart to southwest london, darling

this boy got first class tickets for the both of you

or at least that's what he thought

he actually only got one for himself lmao

so instead, he swapped seats with the person beside you

oh my god shy hand holding on the plane would be expected

also cute little candids that would go up on each others instagrams wow

fast forward to arriving at the holland home

p.s., the entire car ride there was filled with little thigh touches to try and calm you down.

but that only made you more nervous because god have mercy this beautiful boy wasn't trying to act funny or anything like he usually acted, he was being genuine and that made your heart full

once at the door, you were greeted by nikki, dom, and a very excited tessa

"hello love! it's so nice to meet you! tom has told us SOOO mu-"

"DAD!!!!" would be said between clenched teeth while he would be blushing

with red cheeks of your own, you'd walk in to see the two brothers you had previously met, and a new face, who you recognized as paddy

sam and harry would say hello, but paddy would whisper yell to one of the brothers, "is that who tom calls his 'babylove'?"

both you and tom would just stand there, his jaw would drop and one of your eyebrows would raise up

and you'd turn to tom with a huge smile and just whisper "babylove?"and he'd blush even harder and be like "let me show you to your room!!!!!!!!!”

he'd bring you upstairs and into the guestroom so you could put your stuff up

then you'd follow him to his old room, and you'd sit on his bed and just have a look around while he piled his clothes into a hamper

hear me out

there would be little spider-man symbols across the wall, with some football flags strung up every so often

and you'd be like "you really weren't lying about your obsession with spidey, huh?"

and he'd come and sit beside you and shrug while looking at his old decorations

you'd lean in and give him a lil kiss on the cheek before saying "it's really cute, tom." and he'd immediately light up and become a shy baby

then you'd hear footsteps coming up the stairs, and you'd pull away from each other with cute little grins

sam would look in and be like "mom wants to know what ya want for dinner"

and tom would turn to you and be like "well?"

and you'd insist that he choose, since he hasn't been home in awhile

he'd say something he heard you talking about wanting to try

sam would leave and then you'd just nonchalantly grab tom's hand and follow sam down

once down there, you'd be met by the family, minus nikki and sam who would venture into the kitchen

you'd let go of tom's hand, and sit by paddy on the couch

little conversations would start up from dom

literally just things like "so tom said you can sing" and "tom said you guys met through a friend of yours?"

he wouldn't even have to ask you questions directly because tom has told them virtually everything because the boy was swoon as fuck

but after a little while of tom and the rest of the family in sight getting caught up, you decided to slip out of view yourself and join nikki and sam in the kitchen

a "hey sweetheart! whatcha need?" coming from nikki

but you'd be like "i just wanted to know if you guys wanted an extra hand?"

sam would be like "hell yea y/n knows how ta cook"

but nikki would be like "that's alright, it's our pleasure to treat a guest of tom's! thank you though, that's really sweet"

so you'd walk back into the living room after a few "are you sure?"'s

and dom would be like "kicked out of the kitchen?" with a small laugh

and you'd answer with "yeah. you holland's are stubborn."

which would definitely make tom pout, and your response would be to pat his cheek and say "pouting wont exclude you," followed with a quiet "babylove." while you dropped your hand

some time passed before nikki and sam returned, and nikki said dinner would be ready in about thirty minutes

those thirty minutes consisted of the family sharing embarrassing stories about tom

and him eventually hiding his red cheeks in the crook of your neck (sweet god)

soon, the timer went off and everyone made their way into the kitchen and got their plates

tbh i see the family taking all the seats around tom, so you'll get to sit in between dom and nikki

(i'd love that holy shit)

after dinner, you helped wash the dishes. that earned major brownie points from nikki and sam

it was getting kind of late, so the family suggested watching a movie or two together

oh my god tom would take you upstairs again and tell you to change into your pajamas because that was a tradition for movie night

wearing batman pajama bottoms knowing it would tease him

him refusing to let you go downstairs before changing into a pair of his spider-man bottoms

giving in once he gives you the puppy dog eyes while his forehead is pressed against yours

watching some sort of proper english movie because it was your first time visiting

angus, thongs and perfect snogging came into mind

harry loudly asking if you and tom ever snogged like that

cuddling with tom under a big blanket

when the family started to get a little drowsy, they decided to call it a night

everyone started to head upstairs, and you and tom did the same after grabbing a few snacks and some drinks

once in his room, you'd sit on his bed and just smirk at him until he'd ask what was up

and you'd immediately be like "what's up with this lovey dovey side of you? you usually act like a sarcastic shit around me"

he'd just look down and press his hand against the nape of his neck and mumble "i like you"

and you'd say "well i got that part awhile ago"

but he'd sit there for a few seconds, trying to think of a way to say what he had in mind. he finally sighed and spoke out to you, "i mean, i think i'm falling in love with you"

and you'd sit there with your lips parted, and your eyes darting back and forth between his

he'd start to blabber on about how it was just a strategy that he used because he didn't know how to show you how he really, truly felt

and you'd cut him off, and say "can i kiss you?"

and a few seconds of silence would take place before he would cup your cheeks and empty all the passion he held in his body out in one single kiss, while you would do the same

after you both pull away, he'd lower his hands and you'd both just sit and stare at each other

you'd raise your hand up and cup his cheek and rub your thumb across his cheekbone

eventually, you would say you're tired, and press a small kiss against his lips before getting up and heading for the door

"goodnight, thomas."

"goodnight, y/full/n."

shutting the door and doing a happy dance all the way to the guest room

it's sunday morning, and you couldn't get any more sleep in due to the kiss from the night before still swimming through your memory

finally deciding on getting up and cooking breakfast for everyone to return all the love you were given the day before

carefully sneaking down to the kitchen

taking a long ass time to find all the ingredients you initially needed (oils, other stuff)

googling measurement equals because what american knows european measurements off the tom of their head

deciding on making some fancy omelette roll ups you once had with your actor friend

taking so much time to make everything perfect

when you finished making the omelette's, along with some other sides, you would set everything out for easy serving, and then you would head upstairs again

since it was a sunday, everyone slept in

you'd gently knock on everyone's door, and say breakfast was waiting for them downstairs

but when you got to tom's door, you'd softly knock before heading on in

tom would be sleeping on the side of the bed that faced the window, and you would walk over to that side and crouch down

you would subconsciously lay your bent arm on the bed by toms face, and lay your head on your arm. you'd raise your free hand up to toy with a few loose curls while you looked over his features

he'd eventually wake up, and smile in a way that was really wide, but evidently tired

he would kiss your forehead and say "what a good way to wake up; an angel playing with my hair." you'd giggle really quietly and stand up while saying "c'mon, babylove. i've made breakfast."

and he'd pull you down onto the bed with him, and pepper little kisses against your shoulders, collarbones, neck, and cheeks before pressing a lingering kiss to your lips!!!

while he rested his forehead against yours, you decided to confess something you totally forgot to last night, "by the way," you'd say in a really soft voice while swiping a messy curl from his temple, "i think i'm falling in love with you, too."

MICKEY MEETS FC BAYERN (PART 3/4)

for the entire houston clownery experience click here

psa: excuse my face and the pic qualities. up until this happened i haven’t really taken pictures of myself (less than 10 in the past two years for family and work purposes and NEVER selfies) and when you meet people you’ve only seen on TV in a very unexpected circumstance, then don’t expect your brain and motor functions to work 100%.

just an addition that i forgot to add in the last two parts: i didn’t get his pic or anything, but seeing Witch Doctor™ müller-wohlfahrt in person was insane. if you watch netflix’s dark season 2, and see 1986 ulrich nielsen, THAT’S WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE SDHBMFSDMNBFNMB

anyway, so i uber-ed to the mall. thank god it was only 5 minutes or so away from the hotel since i was really desperate to get a wristband for adidas. the t-mobile meet with josh and sven didn’t require wristbands, but there was gonna be a line and time’s limited and they might (and they did) cut it off at some point. thankfully, the mall just opened (ish) and i got wristband #53 for adidas. score! i also confirmed thrice with the guy that as long as i have the wristband i can get in. nice!

after getting the wristband, i went up to get in line for t-mobile. thankfully, i was within the first 5 or so people so i can do both meet-and-greets!

multi-tasking! you love to hear it!

i met up with @simplyirenic​ and a guy named nick who we met at the hotel reception a few days before and chatted to pass the time. finally it was around 1:30 to 2pm and the mall was packed with bayern fans. it was sad to see people, especially little kids, trying to line up for adidas but had to be turned away since the wristbands ran out already.

after a few line games and waves with the t-mobile people, we finally got inside the store to start the meet. while i was waiting my turn and praying that my phone doesn’t die (i only had 8% battery life left at that point), i saw richie (one of bayern’s media guys) and some guy named greg (thought he was with bayern at first, but now i’m not sure) and told them my ulterior motive for the t-mobile thing. they understood and saw that i was about to pass out from fear and anxiety and told me they’d include the footage in the final video. they weren’t kidding sbfdsnmfbmfbdsmfdb (got a gif of it here)

so. it was finally my turn and sven hasn’t looked up yet since he was signing more cards and chatting with josh. i creeped up behind them and said “hallo!” josh was so cute and perky and said “hallo!” back. sven looked like he didn’t recognize me (thank god) but i just couldn’t let it pass so as we were having our pics taken, i put my hand on his back and mumbled (while trying to smile for the cameras): “hey, i don’t know if you remembered in the hotel earlier, but i’m really sorry. i meant to take a picture with you AND leon. sorry!” i don’t know if he remembered it at all or was just being nice, but all the same he said “no, it’s okay!”

i didn’t care. BLESS HIM! my day is saved! so we said cheese one last time before i left.

extra notes: i also wanted to tell him that his red card was BS but didn;t have time for that lmao. also josh is such an angel and his hair was so fluffy and blonde i wanted to die ;__;

i said goodbye to richie and greg and waited for nick (he also had a wristband) and we went down to get in line for adidas. while lined up i met more bayern fans (hello @zomgannalolz​​ and @alex-bregman​​!). fangirled with them for a bit (and showed them my niko ass videos from the night before sdjnhdnfbdn) and finally we were in! from afar, i could only see manu bc he was standing up (benji and thomas were sitting down) and he was wearing his bright watermelon keeper kit. finally my turn came and said hi to benji again. he signed my shirt (again; he already signed it at the hotel reception) and we took pics (again). SERVUS BENJI!

next up was manu (again)!

me: hi manu, it’s me again

manu: oh hello! the hotel right?

me: *dying that he recognized me and thinking about that near-knockout experience* yessssss

he signed my shirt (again lmao) and we posed for pics. he was so. freaking. tall. i put my arm around him and half my brain was floating and making observations:

1. wrow. he tall. as h e l l.

2. the keeper jersey has a different feel than the normal outfield player jersey. hmmm (scratchier and more... cellophane-y....?)

3. my face is literally pressed up against his right boob. n o i c e

4. my left arm is around his waist. i can feel nice ridges. holy shit. SI D E A BS !!!!!! *scream*

yeah, it was an out-of-body-experience. i also nearly forgot to take his autograph card but he subtly inserted it into my hand as i was leaving. I LUFF U MANU!!!!

it’s probably poetic that my meet-and-greet ended with thomas. he’s my favorite player and i have his jersey. first time he signed it it only had 4 other signatures (at the hotel reception), and the second time was earlier that day at the hotel (with him eating a huge ass banana). i came up to him and he was like “hey!” HE RECOGNIZED ME I JUST----

anyway, i tried to keep it cool and said “yeah it’s me again from the hotel lmao” and he was like “so do you want a third signature?” (he saw he already had two sigs in the jersey). i didn’t care and said “if you want to! i don’t mind!”he reviewed it and quietly said “wow” when he saw my almost-full bayern haul (my jersey was full of autographs by then) and said “let’s just put it up, yes?”

he wanted to put up my müller jersey! thomas freakin’ müller himself wanted to show my jersey! tbh it was a great idea lmao so i said “cool! okay!”

i was literally the happiest binch in the world!!!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!! keep deuter-ing that raum, Raumdeuter!!!!!!!

in the end, with the exception of david (i’m sad, i really wanted pics with alabae), phonzie (saw him a couple times, but never got to him), renato (i always miss him for some reason!!!!), and c*man (i don’t really want anything from him anyway, except maybe goals, so doesn’t really count lmao), plus the other bayern kids, i got everyone!!!!!!

BEST. DAY. EVER. from despairing literally just the night before about wasting my one day extension, to unexpectedly getting more than i bargained for-- the ULTIMATE mega fan experience-- it was just insane. they’re all really nice and accommodating too! that’s how i know i support the best club ever (even if they’re such clowns sometimes but oh well lmao)

now, one last part to go. the actual best (and WORST) part of everything. if you’ve followed me for more than an hour then i don’t need to explain to you just how much i needed to get just ONE CRUMB of niko fucking kovac. and boy oh boy did i get a lil bit more than that......👀

Dark Magician Collection!

I wanted to give a detailed view and update of my DM card collection since I have ‘finished’ it - at least as far as I can. 2 cards are still missing, but I can’t find them online atm. Goal was to have all English and German prints - there are some other nice ones in my collection, too! You will see :D

Long post ahead!

high res: https://sta.sh/0zsj9r0b0bq

Starting of with the very old starter deck cards and the secret rares of this artwork (which is my favourite - who would have guessed!) I really love the secret rares of this artwork and secret rare as a rarity in general <3 But as you can see, the DDS card has a crease - but I’m okay with that since it dropped it worth to an amount I could buy :’D Maybe I will get a flawless one in the future. The card itself funnily is without scratches. I would really like to know how the bend happend.

high res: https://sta.sh/0hnagpqi7al

Next up: DUSA ultra rares - which I don’t like very much since for some reason the duelist saga UR is not very appealing to me. The foil is weird. The CT13 tin promos are great tho ;D The others are commons, so nothing special to say about them.

high res: https://sta.sh/07tofx0eqh4

Trivia time! I will use the CT13 cards as an example since they’re here :U American und European cards often slightly differ in colour and brightness in general. American versions are often lighter and that’s why there are many players who prefer them over the European prints (at least here in Europe, can’t say anything about other places). The right one is an American print and the purple is a lot warmer and the ornaments on the armor are more pink (but I couldn’t capture that on a single pic alone, so just imagine it ;D)

high res: https://sta.sh/011f8bwlgnic

Here we have the lasts cards of artwork 1 - The oldest DM I have in the left corner with signatures of my old school buddies which I let them give me before moving away all the years ago. This card is heavily damaged :’D on the spot right to it is a card I was very unsure about putting it into the collection since it actually is an OCG card even if it’s English. It’s a promo card from the 2015 Japanese championship. BUT I got it relatively cheap on ebay a few weeks ago, so well, I won’t complain. Also here: The ghost rare DM and another 2015 promo - but in Korean - both 201 promo cards have the same rarity (Millennium Rare) so I assume tehy’re the same card...? Moving to the right we have the original booster pack 1 - LOB - Dark Magician and below the cards from the second Yugi themed starter deck. One of the LOB magicians (German) belonged to a friend (one of them who signed the card on the left) and it was a very hard fight for getting him to trade it as a kid. But I never gave it away afterwards. I met this friend again, 12 years later, and he actually remembered and was very happy about (and still slightly mad since he collects all old cards and this one was hard to get for him again) me keeping it <3

high res: https://sta.sh/01wupx9i1ej2

Just a try to get the millennium rare effect on camera, but it’s actually hard to do - there are hieroglyphs all over the card!

high res: https://sta.sh/01zin64ns445

Detail shot of the ghost rare card - this rarity is so cool. It has a little 3D effect and the colours only come through in the perfect light (artificial light works much better than sunlight for some reason) - but it can’r be captured in only one photo. So enjoy the nice eye he has here - they really pop out in the ghost rare!

high res: https://sta.sh/01rzdwdjum22

Moving on to the page of shame since this is the page with the last missing 2 cards - which are the red rare and blue rare English DL11 Dark Magician. I actually bought the blue rare - but it went missing in the shipping process. It’s a shame. This makes me sad and angry. But besides that, I like the coloured rares. I don’t know, but it just adds a nice twist to the normally a little boring rares.

high res: https://sta.sh/03enz6dy6aw

I don’t have much to say about this page... the Retro Pack DM are nice URs and we have 2 SCRs again... Oh! I know what to tell you about them: this artworks BPT print is quite cheap - the other one, 1st artwork, is most times actually expensive. And the FL1 SCR has the most disappointing foil I’ve ever seen. I tried to capture it on the next pic:

high res: https://sta.sh/01qliw7ut9k3

You can guess the SCR effect, but it’s so bad/weak I had this card for weeks until I read online that it’s a SCR card - I didn’t even realise it! I thought it’s a normal rare on the first glance :’D You can guess how weak it is in comparison to the BPT card on the right which is also not the brightest SCR, but this one is glittering like crazy next to FL1

high res: https://sta.sh/03ksjuu3g8v

The last card (DLG1) of artwork two on the left with two random Japanese cards I happend to have - look how worn out they are! I had them for a very long time, getting them as a teenanger, and I don’t know where they came from. There were a lot of Japanese cards flowing around in my childhood. On the right we got Arkanas best buddy - he only got this one print in German and English and they’re not even that old. It’s a shame they took so long to get printed in the TCG. The Japanese one again is one of the cards I had for a long time - it came from a pack in which DMG, Dark Magic Curtain, Thousand Knives and Magical Box also were included (correct me if I’m wrong, I may not remember it correctly) The card on the bottom right... I don’t know what it is, but the artwork is cool :D

high res: https://sta.sh/01e6aviafcqy

I mean, look at it!

high res: https://sta.sh/019j9fc9lz0q

Artwork number 4! Structure deck cards in the top left, below them promos from the old PC game (they have a nice SCR effect which glitters like this # instead of a straight line or /) On the right some commons and the sexy ultimate rares.

high res: https://sta.sh/0136gaeq9ukq

They’re just cool.

high res: https://sta.sh/09qrjr2mgd3

The most valuable page in this binder- because of the baby sitting in the bottom right corner <3 But first, take a look to the left. Top row: commons which also came in the structure/starter deck in which the UMR were included. Bottom row: SCRs but with a shimmer which goes like this: / Top right: URs Bottom right: The two almost identical prints with the most difference in value in the whole collection - the left one is a few € and the right one is a few 100 :’D This P in the serial number must be really valuable. Sad thing: They’re only rares with some starfoil thing going on (I don’t know how the rarity is called, it’s not actually starfoil since there are no stars on it but dots). It’s a shame. They’re not even very pretty :’D

high res: https://sta.sh/06t96pbi963

This page is interesting again since we’re switching artworks :D But I would like to add that the DB1 prints here do have the colour difference between American and European version again (but I didn’t capture it in an additional photo this time) - I mostly own European English versions, so I thought I could mention it again ;> JUMPing to the right (badumm-tss) we have artwork #5 with the promos out of the Jump magazine and the first apprearance of the true Black Magician ;P Below them is one the old promotional cards they had ind the Banzai magazine (I guess). The Magical Circle next to it was just a thing I got as an addition and it was fitting to also put it here instead of losing it in my other cards.

high res: https://sta.sh/0354sytgik2

Another shot of the Jump cards to show some things. First of: They don’t have the bold grey border the artworks usually have on all cards - I did realise this lately. It finally made sense to me why I always thought they look strange! It was a mind-blown-moment. And second: You can see that at some point they changed the size of the picture on the card in direct comparison! And for some reason the newer print (right) is more crisp and a little brighter.

high res: https://sta.sh/01ktxzsdnqcx

Artwork #6 - which is pretty nice btw - and the very sexy field center card released this year plus an old bandai card. The tag for the bottom left row is missing since they are the newest prints (came in the Yugi-Kaiba-Deck duo box this year) and I simply was to lazy to stick one of my beautiful tags on them :’D It would have been very nice to have the golden parts on the field center card shiny gold/metallic printed tho.

high res: https://sta.sh/01vkzvfl9qzu

Movie artwork and also the last artwork for now - until the new one hits the stores on 22.12.18 in Japan. I should have sorted them in an other way starting with the URs, going to the gold rares and endling with the gold secret rares which are the ultimate shiny glitter-fuck-fest you can have :’D I love them. In the right corner is the Token card from the tins last year and a very nice business card of a German online card shop infront of my Konami ID card. This way I will never lose or forget to bring it since I’m always travelling with my magicians if I’m going for some plays or the small weekly tournament in my city.

high res: https://sta.sh/0gkts6ykil8

Last additional page - the coloured rares again but in French! :D Exept the purple rare, it’s missing. But instead I put an anime orica in there. And since the oversized DM card also got a serial number and it’s English it’s in my collection, too ;D

Wow, this was a ride. It took me about 1,5 hours to write this wall of text and put pictures in and so on. I actually have a second binder slowly filling up with DMs, but they’re not unique prints and just all the cards in here over again since I just trade for every DM I can get :U It’s fun!

I don’t know for which cards I’m going next. Maybe some more European ones like Spanish, French, Portoguese or Italian or just gong for the Japanese and Korean cards. Maybe a little of both. Just get what I can grab.

Losing Her

Losing the one person I've ever told "I love you"....her. (lets call her Guava, cause that was a nickname given to her cause she likes guava juice/soda) I've always been very closed, reserved, and if you would know me IRL, you would of never noticed me sad, depressed. You would just seen me as somewhere in between quiet and calm, but that is because I have always been great at hiding emotions. We broke up about 12 hours ago. She was my first. 16 years single until about a month ago for the very reason that I knew that I would get so attached and it would hurt the day they left. Scared of losing someone I love. It was an LDR which most people say really ever works out, and even knowing this, I still gave her a chance. We first met on discord, march/29/2019 a friday, and I would normally just pop in different channels and my typical lines were "oh yeah yeah" "oh no no" and "oh boi". She told me that she was in one of the channels were I joined and she repeated back what i was saying, and it went for a bit, until i went to another channel. Now its march 30, and I went around playing piano to others. There was this one guy who could sing and I started to voice record, me playing bich lasagna and him singing it. Then I went to another channel, were there she was again. It was a channel with 4 other people in it. I joined into her telling a FanFic about...Hitler and Jesus . Yep... and i'm not religious myself but I was (still am for about 2 more weeks) in a catholic class on Sundays, so yeah....oh boi. It was weird, but I was bored, so I stayed in the voice channel. We decided to just make a group chat just for us 5 people so she could finish the FanFic. She read it, we had our reactions and we just kept talking on that call. After some time, one by one they left the call until it was just me and her, we talked for a couple of min until I said that i'm just going to head back to the there server because it was a bit awkward now since I never had female friends, except for one who i met online( lets call her Mia), and neither have I been interested in being in a relationship so it just felt a bit weird. When I told her i was just about just head out and go back to the server, she told something along the lines of "oh, you just gona leave the call, i see how it is" and that very day, I had the choice to stay or to go. As I said, I would of always just left and not think about it, but I something something different this time. I chose to stay. We talked about my Dog named Max, cutest dog ever, yeah he isn't really well with other dogs, but he was my little max. At some point in life I did feel suicidal for other reasons that involved my parents, me, and my brothers. But thanks to max, whenever I used to start thinking about just ending the pain that went on for months, I would always look at max and start cuddling with him. Thanks to him and Mia, a friend that i trusted enough to talk about the situation i was in at the moment, i would always stop myself and feel a bit better. We talked about a few other things too, by this time its been around an hour or so that we have been talking and i receive a dm from one of the people that was in that group (lets call her Caitlin). Caitlin saw that we were still in the call and just typed "i ship it" and i was like uh, oh no no. and she told me, why not. I said that i wasn't here for that, and she told me, there is no harm in sliding in Guava dm's and getting to know her. So Caitlin now joins the call as well and asked her how old Guava was, and she said 16, she asked me and i said 16, then Caitlin sent me a dm saying to go for it, i just kinda ignored it. So I talked for a few more min to both of them, until i told them I was goin to the store real quick, so I just muted and left. When i came back I un-muted and said my usual phrase "oh yeah yeah, im back boi" and they was like oh, hi again. The three of us were talking about music and a few other things. Because this Sunday church class was close to where my mom and brothers lived, every Saturday my dad would drive me to my moms house in the afternoon and pick me up the next day. So I told them that I had to go, said bye and just left the call. About 3 min later as i'm getting my stuff ready to go, I receive a dm this time from Guava saying "where did you go ?:(" and i told her that my brothers came over and that i had to go to their place. Then she told me if i will send pictures of max, i told her, if I remember then yeah. Then her next text was " he’s sO cute(like me), you better remember" so I kinda avoided responding to her dm by talking about something else, a few the rest of the text were from her saying " it’s like almost 3pm over there right?" I said "Yep" then she said "it’s so sad, well can you do me a favor before you go >:0" i asked "Wut" she said "call real quick and say oh yea yea :’o" So obviously i already can tell she kinda into me. So I finish packing up my stuff and go back to my laptop to shut it down, but as im closing apps, i see that I left the voice recorder on, and im sitting there like, oops. and so I was hearing the audio so i can know when to edit out the rest that wasn't the guy that singed bich lasagna. I got a bit curious and remembered that they were talking when I left to the store earlier, and so I skipped to that part where I muted my self and left. Caitlin asked her what were we talking about and she said about max and a few other things and that I seemed cute. Caitlin told her to slide in my dm''s then, and Guava sounded unsure, so Caitlin told her that she should just said "fuk it" "just go for it". At this point I was surprised, I ended up saving that part of the recording but had to go now cause my dad was waiting for me in the car. So i'm at my mom's house and its around like 6pm for me, and she is in a different time zone, 6 hours ahead. So i decided to call her, forgetting that its 12pm for her, but she picked up. I showed her max for a while and then went back to just voice chat. We talked for a bit more and then they left the call again. i talked to guava for while again until like a half an hour later when I realized that she has fallen asleep on the call. so i'm like, 0of, her phones battery is gona be dead when she wake up. So I ended up get a call from the group chat shortly after. The rest of the group chat we talking and I told Caitlin that Guava fell asleep on the call, Caitlin just said, cute, I responded with "oh no no". So we stayed on the group call for about 2 more hours, Once in a while I checked on Guava to check if she still had the call open, and she did, I joined once in a while and said "Oh yeah yeah" I even texted her that im tying to wake her up cause her phone was gona die. At around 9, I started watching youtube and getting ready to sleep at around 11. Its Sunday morning and I wake up to a text from her saying " i-, my phone is always on battery save, so it can literally survive on 1% for an hour, I woke up alone still in the call at 8am with 3%, thanks tho, for trynna wake me up" I told her that I joined once in a while and said Oh yeah yeah, she said that was cute and she wish she would of woken up, but the way I say Oh yeah yeah is soothing, so of course she wouldn't wake up, I and so I say, wut... that's a first. To switch up the convo, I told her that Max has just woken up and she wanted to see him. The room was dark and i didn't want to turn on the light cause I didn't want to wake u my brother, so instead I sent her pictures of Max, and then we sent each other a bit of memes. That was that for the day, Monday comes, and i remember that she is 6 hours ahead, so at 12:42pm my time I sent her a text saying to wake up cause its time for school, and she said she still had time for a few more min of sleep and then asked me if I shouldn't be asleep. I told her thats its 12:42pm and she told me to not stay up to late. I told her why not, she stays up late too, and then she asked me if she can send the pic of me to Caitlin. Yesterday she asked for a pic of me, and was saying nah, im good. She kinda ended up pressuring me to send it, so I was like fine. I sent her a pic that I took about 3 months ago of me and max laying down. So she's asking if she could send it to Caitlin cause she wanted to know how I looked like too. It was time for her to go school by now so she just tells me goodnight. I went to sleep and then I left to school. Came back and then we were just texting for a while, then we just called for a while till she left to eat. About and hour and a half passed by now and decided to give her a call, she didn't pick up so I just went back to the other Server and talked to other random people. She texts me back like 30 min later saying sorry that she was busy playing minecraft, and so i tell her, nice, me and another friend from school were planning to play minecraft, but he never picked up. Then I tell her to go to sleep cause for her it was 2am, she just replied with "no u". We texted for a few more min, and then I remember that the day before, she wanted me to learn a song on the piano, so I told her before she goes to sleep, if I can call real quick if she wants to hear the bit that I learned, she said yeah. I called her and showed her the bit that I was practicing and then we just talked for a few more min. Then again, she fell asleep on the call, and of course I stayed on the call this time and said oh yeah yeah once in a while. After a few hours she just left the call with out saying anything, so im like...ok. Discord bot kicked me from the call after 5 min. I stay up till like 2am again and she text me saying, damn, that she didn't know she fell asleep on the call again. I told her that I did the same thing, saying oh yeah yeah once in a while. I went to sleep, and woke up to her text that said she felt tired cause she stays up late too, and I tell her "oh boi". I had to go to school but I wanted to keep talking to her, so I skipped my first period class and kept texting her. She told me she doesn't want to go to work, and she told the time she has work and then we were talking about other stuff too. I went to school late, we made cookies in class that day, and so when I came back, I told her what we did and so on. She ended up reading stories she found online and then would you rather. We ended up talking about, lets just say, "stuff" as well, and then I decided to show her the voice recording, and we talked. I told her that I have never been in a relationship and idk. After that, everyday we talked every time we could, and on April 3rd, I showed her the screenshots of Caitlin that she was telling me to go for it and stuff, she also showed me screenshots that Caitlin told her too. We talked every single day playing minecraft, watching movies by screen sharing my screen, anything that just had us on a call. On April 14 we even stayed on the call for 14 hours, and we had an idea, to see if we could even do a 24 hour call. This was also the day in which i opened up to her about the stuff I've been through in the past, which was hard, but I trusted her. She is a big fan of Marvel, mainly Spider-man, in particular Tom Holland. and we planned to see Endgame the same day it came out. Whenever we couldn't get on a call for reasons, I would still text her, and she told me, "why is time going so slow when I’m not talking with you" and I would say the same, but at the same time it when ever we were on a call, it also felt like forever, but it a good way, in which I enjoyed every single second of it. One of the other things we did was having my webcam facing the table and we both just draw. Fast forward to 26 of April, Another thing we did was that during her lunch periods at school, she would always call me, so we are talking, and then she says she has to go they got an announcement that told everyone to meet up. She texts me a bit later and tells me that there was something that happened at her school, they were all crying cause they had a teacher that just passed away in the building. This was also the same day we both we gona see Endgame. We keep talking like normal again. On the 28 of April is when I finally said yes to her. I started to get to school late and leave early often because I wanted to talk to her. I always use to soft talk her to sleep to now, it was our thing where we just keep the call on while we sleep too. A few of the times where she was sleeping, she mumbled "I love you". This was one of the many things I found adorable about her, like the way she giggled when I used to make her laugh, when on Saturdays it was me who woke up to her voice on the call, whenever I was feeling sick she used to just say in a soft voice "don't worry about it", we used to tell each other to imagine what a warm hug from us would feel, and we had our little nicknames for each other too, and another thing that we used to said was "I love you 3000". So now its May 5, and this day we were sent to a catholic retreat that was required to pass this church class. Like a week before this day, my mom called to let me know I had to go there, the first thing I did was that I told her that I had to go to this place for 3 days, cause that is what I was told. I told her that If I wasn't able to call, ill at least text her whenever I can. So the day comes and i'm letting her know that i'm in the car with the teacher and the other 2 people that was going too. So I made sure to let her know when I get on the car, and when we got there. So we get of the car and I have my backpack with cloths and stuff, thinking that we just gona walk in and see what this is all about, but before we left the car, the teacher told us that we had to leave our phones in the car for now. So i'm like, ok, maybe they just want to make sure we pay attention to where we were, what we gona do, ect. So before I left my phone, I texted her that our teacher told us to leave the phones in the car. We left them and went in. We went to a place that was like a hotel, they had our names already, took our bags, and told us to go to a bigger room. Here is where there was like 50 other people too. So i'm like wow. We just standing there wondering what is we going to do now. They explain the schedule and said we were goin to have a room with a roomate, so im like, dope. So after like an hour of talking and getting to know one another a bit, they tell us we can now go to our rooms and rest. So im like, yess, im feeling tired and I already miss my baby nugget, that was one of our little nicknames. So as people were heading to their rooms, I start to look for our teacher to ask him for my phone now, he ends up saying that we aren't getting them back till this is over, because he wants us to fully live this experience we were going to get. So at this point, in the inside I start to feel sad and mad because I promised Guava that I would have communication with her. I felt like I was going to let her down. I head to my room and see my roomate, I say whats up to him and then we just start to talk for a bit, he 19 and was very chill and nice to talk too. By this time its late and I was bored, and then I remembered that I had a notebook in my bag, so I take that out and a pencil, then I start writing exactly the way I would text her, It started with like 2 sentences and I thought by the time we leave this place, I would have like possibly 2 whole pages written down, but nope, I ended up writing 15 pages, top to bottom, and I even drew a rose for her one of those days. They had the windows covered with stuff and there wasn't any clocks, so we didn't really have a concept of time, those 3-4 days actually felt like 1-2 weeks, but I kept writing about what we did, the people I met, the food, but mainly how much I missed her. As I said before, i'm not religious my self but the stuff that was said there, really did make us change the way we saw stuff. We promised to not say what was spoken over there, cause what was said there, stays there. But Ill briefly talk about what changed with me. Growing up I never treated my brother, like an actual brother, and thinking back at it, he has always been there for me, but I can't say the same for him. There was times where he has taken the blame and punishments that I was responsible for, treated him a bit like shit, always distanced my self from my family members, I never gave him that trust with him. He is about a year and a half younger than me, and I regretted so much how I never acted like his older brother, someone he can can talk to if stuff was bothering him, someone he could trust. So what I ended up picking up there myself was to be grateful for having him there for me, even though I haven't before to him. I ended up promising to myself that I would trust him and I want to be there for him as well. Since I always been reserved, nobody in my family knew I was dating Guava. So I promised myself that once I go back, I will tell my brother everything, how the situation with our parent affected me, how I knew that he used go to sleep crying cause he hated seeing my parents like that and I never said or did anything. I also wanted to tell him about me and Guava. So the day finally comes, May 5th, the day we get to go back, when I saw the teacher I rushed to him as he was getting out his car and I didn't say hi or anything, I wanted my phone so badly so I can text to my baby nugget, cause it felt like almost 2 weeks with out her. So i'm turning on my phone expecting texts from her saying she missed me too. I open discord and I see " i already miss your voice in the morning", "i missed your voice at work", "and rn laying in my bed", " i cant sleep:( ", " i miss my baby nugget", " i need your voice to help me sleep" on May 3rd. Then on May 4th "weekend..", "and again, I miss you", " this is weird", "I really miss you and it hurts", "it randomly just happens and I go “aw I miss my baby nugget” and almost cry ". And this is when it really hurt, in the afternoon that day, she started saying " honestly fuk you for making me fall for you ", " I bet you haven’t even thought about me these 2-3 days ", " and im over here missing you like crazy ", " its stupid ", " i guess you’re gonna be back tomorrow right? ", " I told you it was probably gonna end it:( ", " ew I just realised I’ve been spamming you with “updates” ", " goodbye baby nugget ", " i mean eduardo " (thats my real name btw), " welp i can’t sleep ", " i mean you said 3 days, today is basically the 3rd, i guess you’ll be home tomorrow then ", " i wonder if something happened ", " i hope you’re having fun ". May 5th, earlier in the day when I still didn't have my phone, " i have 4 theories ", " 1. you aren’t back yet, so you’re still at the camp ", " 2. I was right and it ends here ", " 3. you lost your phone and your dad didn’t give your laptop back ", " 4. something (bad) happened to you ", " number 4 is bad and im hoping that’s not it, please rather number 2 than 4 ", " i have my first exam tomorrow, I’d hoped you’d be back in time to wish me good luck ". I got my phone back later in the day and responded with "I LOVE YOU" and then told her that they took my phone for those days, and that of course I was thinking of her all the time. I told her that I missed her so much and also wished her luck on her test. My battery was at 2% by this time since its just been in a car or wherever he kept them for those days. She ends up responding with " fuck you " and I responded with " No, baby why ??? 1% btw ", " I LOVE YOU ". She texted back " I hate you ". Since I've never been in a relationship before or been close to anyone like that, I haven't ever felt this kind of pain before. But I was in a larger van with more people heading back home, all I wanted was to cry and hug her as I tell her that i'm sorry for not being able to to talk to her those days, it felt like I loss her. I wanted to cry so badly but there was others around so I held it in, and for those who hold in pain like that, you know how that tight feeling around your throat and that intense pressure around your head. I tried to go to sleep until we got back home, but I couldn't when we finally got back to our church, we went to the basement and there was most of our family members waiting for us. We sat at some tables in the front while they were were all in chairs facing us. Our Aux's (that is what the people that took us through everything, like teachers, but they also went through stuff like we did) they were standing on the side giving mini speeches on how going over there helped us each with different things. We also talked about how our experience was and the new friends that we got close to. But I was kinda shaking while I was talking, not because I was nervous, but because I remembered what Guava told me. Its now like 9pm and I charged my phone while I took a shower. I went back to my phone and texted her again that I love her and that i'm sorry for not having my phone those days. I went to the kitchen and started to take pictures of each page of that notebook and sent them to her. I told her that it wasn't even my fault that they took our phones and how I was feeling when I saw those texts. Next morning, May 6 Monday, she responds saying that she didn't mean it, and she read most of the pages, and she had to go take the exam. She also has religious parents and in their religion, she was starting Fasting that day too, which she told me that they were going to eat at 9:30pm and 3:15am their time. She also says " we need to talk.. ", " I thought a lot while you were away ". I come back from school and text her that i'm home, she doesn't respond, a couple min later I decide to call her, she doesn't pick up. I text her that ill be watching youtube till she calls back. Around an hour goes by and I decide to call again, no answer. Like 5 min later I text her by her real name, and then she responds with "what". Instantly I knew what was going on, but I acted like I didn't know, so I just told her that ill be on my laptop in a bit. She tells me again that she still wants to talk about something, I called her and she picked up this time. She ended up telling me that those days gave her time to think, and she said we were moving to fast, and she wanted to take it slow and take it back to before we were a thing. I didn't know what to say. I try to not sound upset, I just said, it was her decision if if she wanted to take things to before we were a thing, then fine. I left the call and went to take a shower. She texted me again at around 1am the next day telling me that she has her math exam and she is stressed. I tell her good luck on her test, and she replies with " thanks baby nugget " and then tells me to go to sleep. At this point i'm confused now, cause she made me feel "that way" the day before, saying she wanted to take it back before we were a thing. After she told me to go to sleep, I just say, Fine. About 10 min pass and she texts me back saying she forgot something at home, and I just say Oof. She says its a good thing that she lives 5 min away from her school, and I just start answering the same way I would text other "friends". She tells me that she ran and got it, I just say, great. Now she starts to ask "baby nugget, are you okay?" And i'm just so confused/stressed, but I tell her yeah, i'm good. Later on in the day, she asks me if I want to call. I was about to say no, but I ended up saying yeah. We talked again for a few hours and ended up agreeing on taking it slow, so I went back to being more reserved from her, act like there wasn't anything but an online friendship. Wednesday May 8th, instead of texting her, I decide to go to the server and talk to some random people again. Half an hour later I see that she is also joining channels, so I try to avoid her so its not awkward. Sometime later, she texted me that she sees me going around the server and that I haven't text her. I just tell her that someone was playing guitar and I was bored. We text just a little bit, and she ends up saying " we barely talk, it’s sad ", so i'm still confused and simply just asked her if she wants to call or not, she says maybe, so I say " im not gona rush anything u dont want, i talked to someone for help, and they told me to not rush u, but just wait". The person that I asked for help was that online friend named Mia. Guava ends up saying " just call me already " and so I did. She told me that even though she wants to take it slow, she doesn't want me going back to being reserved. We talked for a while until she fell asleep again. She woke up a few hours later, as I was about to go to sleep. I asked her if she knew that the new season for Lucifer finally came out, she said yeah, she knows, we both like watching that show. After like 10 min of talking, I told her that she should just go back to sleep because its 3am for her and she tells me, " baby nugget nO ". To be honest, at this point I kinda started to just feel frustrated because I felt like she was just playing around, saying she wants to take it slow, but then calling me, baby nugget constantly. After she told be that in a hour it will be 4am for her, and if she stays up for an hour, she would of still gotten enough sleep, again, I told her to just go back to sleep, and she says " can’t I just stay up and talk with you:(". I was like, I don't even know, does she want to get back or not. We talked for like 20 min, then I told her I was getting sleepy, so I was gona go sleep now. Next day, May 9, its a thursday, she texts me like at her time 7am to wake up, but im still sleeping so she just says " goodnight/good morning ", " bby nugget", " ttyl". We talked a bit more again when she came back from school, she told me that fuck taking it slow, that she loves me and was just sad that she felt that I left her for those days. And after some talking , I told her that I love her too, I made made myself distant because I wanted to respect her decision and if she wanted to leave, it wouldn't hurt as much because I would of already accepted the fact that we are no longer together. We watched Lucifer for a while, and then I had to go to a parent teacher conference with my dad. I left the call on my phone, I was happier, because we were together again, after I came back, I heard that she was sleeping, so I just texted her, good morning to whenever she sees this text. She woke up like half an hour later saying she fell asleep, I told yeah, "i know, keep sleeping bby nugget" and she said, " im tired, but I want you ". So we started to talking again just like before. Every time we called, if I felt sick or something, just hearing her voice made my day. May 11, she ended up confessing why she got distant the days after I came back, it was because she was mad at herself because of something she did while i was gone, she started to take to other people and one of those people she talked to, she got a bit close too. I told her that i'm not even mad, disappointed....a bit, but I was glad that she told me the truth, I wanted her to be honest with me. She started to cry a bit on the call, but I told her that I understand why she would of felt like that when I left her for those days cause I didn't have my phone. Like I said, when she stopped replying to my texts, I felt like I loss her too and it was only like 2 days that she wasn't responding like she used to, and for her, I left for 4 days with no texts at all during those days. While she was crying, she asked me why was I being so understanding, I said...Cause I love you 3000. I ended up telling up telling Guava who was the one helping me to try and get guava back when she was being distant. I didn't want to tell her earlier because she felt a bit jealous, but I made it clear to her that she is only a friend that helped me when I was younger. We promised to not keep secrets from one another, and at that point I think I felt the closest to her. On May 12, that is when we completed the 24 hour call we said we were gona do. These days she wasn't feeling well because of the fasting thing that she is doing, so going so long without eating made her feel sick. I kept telling to eat something because I didn't like when she felt sick, but she said she can't cause of fasting. I tried to make her feel better by telling her " I'm so lucky because... I have you, someone who acually cares about me and makes me happy. I'm smiling while I'm typing this. Even if it's only been about 2 months, Thank You for being there for me". I waited for her to wake up the next day and talk, she taught me how to say, "I love you" in danish, " jeg elsker dig". Meeting her made me feel the happiest I ever been in years. Whenever she woke up at 3:15am her time to eat, I used to help her wake up by quietly saying her name or just talking about the way she always made me feel, after she ate and came back, I always asked her what is it that she had to eat and then soft talk her to sleep again. I used to love it whenever she used to sometimes soft talk me to sleep, the ways she used to tell she wanted to cuddle with me and max. The type of food she wanted to teach me how to cook. On Wednesday 15, when we were on a call during her lunch period, she told me that they got a printer in their class now, so I gave her the idea that she should print out memes, and put them around the classroom, and she did, it was a spider-man meme, she ended up printing 5 of these and started to putt them up around her class. One of the things that she helped me with a bit was in school, cause I started to do some work while I was on a call with her in the mornings. She gave me a reason to wake up early everyday and since I was always in a good mood while being on a call with her, I decided to multi task a bit. So I thanked for that. Thursday comes and I just picked up some bluetooth earbuds that I ordered mainly because of I wanted to to talk to her when I wasn't at home with a good mic, my phone's aux input is a bit messed up and makes a static noise whenever wired earbuds moved, so I bought those bluetooth ones. That day I called her twice and she didn't pick up, but she was on the server talking to others so was like fine, she talking to some friends or something. She ended up calling me at 3am her time, so I asked her what happened because she didn't call or barley texted me that day. She said that she just didn't feel like it. I felt a bit sad but told my self, its fine, she was just busy and forgot. The next day we got on a call again, she didn't have school this friday, so we stayed on the call till I went to school, but she mainly just watched youtube instead of talking. I went to school and when I came back at 12am, told her I was back, gave her a little text once in a while cause she didn't respond till about 2 hours later, saying she was busy. Again...kinda felt sad cause I started to feel her being distant again, and I really didn't want to lose her. I started to feel sick, like really light headed and stomach ache, I told her how I felt sick, she asked if I was okay, I said not really. She called me for like 2 min and told me to drink some water, and call my dad if I kept feeling sick. Then she left the call again. She called back at around 5pm my time. Again i'm feeling her being distant because her time it was already 11pm, and we really didn't talk that day, just enough for her to tell me to soft talk her to sleep. I did soft talk her to sleep, but when I knew she was asleep for sure, I talked about how I was really feeling, that I was scared of losing her, the one person I have ever told them "I Love You. I texted her at my time She wakes up at like 8:20pm my time, she talks for a few min until she goes eat. She didn't call back or even let me know what she ate, like we always used too. So at like 3:40am my time, I sent her a text. She calls me back at around 4am my time, and says she had to go like around 6am my time, and again all she really just do was just watch youtube. Now im really worried if I did something that she doesn't want to text or talk to me for these last few days. She ends up coming back and we get on a call at 11am my time. Again she didn't want to watch Lucifer or talk like before, she just used to watch youtube videos and tell me to mute my self once in a while, cause she wanted to watch her ASMR videos. At around 2pm, I decided to take a nap because I didn't feel well again. She didn't even want to soft talk me to sleep. So I just slept. Woke up an hour later and my dad was going to take me to the clinic because I wasn't feeling well. I told her before that we were going to travel to mexico to see family members in particular my grandpa, since he may not be around next year due to age. So at 5pm, I let her know as soon I knew, the dates we were going to travel, but this time I was going to have my phone for sure. She said ok, and then went to sleep at like at 5:30pm my time. Since it was a Saturday, we were heading to my moms place. Later that day we talked again like around 7pm for a while, since max and my little cousin we playing together I had the camera on. This is when she actually talked to me in a while, instead of just watching youtube. She ended up sleeping on the call and woke up at 10:30pm, she fell asleep again and she woke up at 2am my time, over there it was already 8am. This time I fell asleep to her voice, I wake up at 6am and see her text that says " my baby it’s so cute I can hear you breathing in your sleep ", " I just wanna hug you and cuddle you " I replied with "Aw", " I love you 3000", " That wut u said earlier was so adorable, I was awake when u was laughing, and was smiling. You just warm me up with the smallest things you do, I love you 3000!" by text cause my mom was sleeping still. It kinda made me forget how she was being distant that last few days. We texted for a bit when I got out of church class at 1:30pm . I called her when it was like 3pm, I saw that she was talking to others again, so I just let her know that i'm with Max. She responded at 3:50pm saying she had dessert, I asked if she wanted to call, she said in a bit, she didn't call, she responded with a text at 8:30pm. Again i'm noticing that she just doesn't want to talk, and I guess I already knew that she has/is losing interest. At 9pm my time she tells me if I wana call? And I already had a feeling that I knew it was time she was going to say what I've feared from the start. For the past week that I felt her changing, I always asked her, what wrong? Did I do something? If there is something she wanted to talk about, just say it, she would just keep saying that nothing is wrong, and I alked her, why is she talking to me less, she said, its normal don't worry about it. By this time, for the past two days, I asked for help about this to 3 other people, one of them was Mia. She told me that obviously it was't normal, maybe she was having other issues which she couldn't rely on my help for, she told me to just give her some time. Guava kept saying nothing is wrong, but before she went to sleep, one of the last things she said was, there is something she wants to talk about. I knew it was time...but she said that she was going to tell me the next day instead. I woke up at 12 like usual to tell her good morning, instead of her texting at least for a bit, she just said go back to sleep. At this point i'm just sad because I know there a 90% I already loss her. But still had that little bit of hope that it wasn't what I was thinking. Hoping it was something else...I could even sleep that day and stayed up waiting till 5am, for our usual call during her lunch break...she didn't text or call at all. There was no text no nothing till when she called me at 4:28pm. She told me exactly what I was scared of, she said that she wanted someone who she can actually cuddle with rn, someone who wasn't in a different time zone, someone who isn't on the other side of the earth. All this time that we have been talking and said that distance/time zones matters close to nothing when that someone means everything. I just had one question, "Did you ever mean it when you said "I love you"....She said "probably" I left the call. She later asked me an hour later if I was okay only cause Mia was talking to her because she was trying to help and she asked Guava if I was okay. I texted her 2 hours later " dont worry about it". Deep down I wanted to tell her nO! im not okay, my eyes feel like they burn every time I blinked cause of all the tears, that I felt like my chest was being crushed and I couldn't breath, it feels like I have been dumped in boiling water of how hot I started feeling, how my whole body feels numb, that I was sorry for anything I did that lead her to this choice, and most importantly that I love her, I don't want to leave me. She taught me how it feels to be loved and also how love can hurt as well. Its currently Tuesday 21st, 10:24pm and I haven't talked to her since yesterday at 8:32, my last message being, "Don't worry about it". She has told me before that if this just didn't work out for some reason, that we could still be friends. I said sure, but now looking back at this all, I gave all of my trust to her, and she started to talk to someone else, I forgave her for what she did when I was gone for a few days, saying I didn't want to just argue and just leave, that I wanted to fix whatever issue that would come. I....I trusted her again and she gave me false hopes. Fuked up how she wanted to be back together after I forgave her for what she did, just so she can tell me that she wasn't even sure she meant it when she used to tell me "I love you", and this wasn't even a month later, this was just 9 days after she said she didn't want to take it slow anymore, that she "loved me". Currently its now 10:41pm. I started to type this hoping it would help, seeing it from a third person view. Now I can see that our relationship wasn't really working out, I was putting her over everything else, school, my heath, my time, and even potentially moving back with my mom because of the fact that I chose to live with my dad, but since I've been skipping school, and failing classes because I wouldn't even show up since I was at home, talking to Guava. I changed my whole sleeping schedule so I could give her the most time I could. If I was accused of lying about something during our relationship, I would say, yeah I lied to Guava about something, the fact that I used to tell her not to worry about my sleeping schedule, I use to tell her that I was sleeping great to not worry, but nope, I would get about only 4 hours of sleep for the past month and a half, and that some of the days I was home from school earlier was because of tests, and we got to leave early. I changed so much, not "because of her", but "for her," but looking back at it, there wasn't much she did to try and make it work for my time zone. If you do ever read this, i'm NOT trying to say that I changed my life for the worse because of you, I just want to show you how much I cared about you, what you made me feel for you those first days we met was something real and after time, I really wanted you to be "the one"

I remember that when I first started typing this yesterday, I was feeling depressed, sad, confused. But surprisingly It has made me feel better. If she does ever want to be to be together again but this time, seriously , I wouldn't say no right away, because I would be lying if I said that I don't start felling sad at random times and that I don't miss her even though its only been a bit over 27 hours, but I would tell her to first to earn my trust again and just be friends while we are online for now, Once we are sure that we meet IRL then I will gladly move to the next step.

I love you 3000 baby nugget

Welcome (again) to A Cup-pella, Kai! We’re excited to have you and Lara James in the game! Please go through the checklist to make sure you’re ready to go and send in your account within the next 24 hours. 

OOC INFO

Name + pronouns: Kai + she/her Age: 25 Timezone: EST Ships: LJ + an NSA-less world Anti-Ships: LJ + unhappiness

IC INFO

Full Name: Lara “LJ” Rae James Face Claim: Hayley Kiyoko Age/Birthday: January 28 / 25 Occupation: Member of Geek Squad at Best Buy + Full time student at NYU Personality: adaptable, charismatic, impulsive, extroverted, creative, clumsy Hometown: New York City, New York Bio: To say that Lara James’ childhood was a mess and a half would be speaking politely. From the moment that Lara was born, her parents struggled. Her mother was a waitress for a small diner located in the heart of Manhattan and her father was a handyman for an apartment building that liked to pay him under the table. While it was nice to not have to deal with the taxes taking money from his paychecks, it meant that sometimes, the main provider of the house was not bringing home enough money for the family to live comfortably. There were many times throughout Lara’s childhood that she remembered the lights flickering before going out for days on end. This was something that typically brought on hours of screaming and bickering between her parents about all issues surrounding money and the unhappiness that it brought to them. While Calvin and Melissa James always strived to bring the best for their daughter, sometimes their money situation could not even provide a well balanced dinner for their daughter for weeks on end. It was something that Lara always thought to be normal and casual amongst the children of her neighborhood, but after being labeled a few horrific names from her classmates, she knew that wasn’t the case.

As she grew, things never really got better. Her father kept losing job after job, stress taking over his life, and turning him into a man that was filled with anger instead of the happy, bubbly man that she always loved and adored. Her mother had lingering eyes for every male that came into the diner, always wondering what life would be like if she wasn’t strapped down by the suffocating lack of funds in her family. In fact, when Lara was just seven years old, her mother’s lingering eye is what took her away from her family. One night, Lara heard shuffling outside of her bedroom door and before she was able to investigate what was going on, her mother was gone. She had packed her few belongings and left Lara and her father to their own devices. Later on, Lara would find out that she had met a wealthy man who was capable of giving her more monetary happiness than her own flesh and blood ever could. It was something that made Lara see that the world was not always as kind and forgiving as she thought it was.

It took her mother’s departure from their lives for things to turn around for Calvin and Lara, however. Once there was no other means of money and income coming into the apartment, Calvin started working harder to get jobs that were well paying and reliable for work. He started looking in construction, quickly becoming employed with a company that actually made him fill out a W-2 and do things by the book. The money started coming in more readily, and Lara was seeing things that she never had before: birthday presents, dinner on the table every single night, random gifts of appreciation from her father, etc. While they didn’t have much, there wasn’t a single day in which the lights went out in their home.

It wasn’t until her fourteenth birthday that Lara received a gift from her father that opened a door in her life that she had never been prepared for: a personal laptop. There was not a lot of extra money lying around, but the hefty priced gift was something that was met with a beaming Lara and a very smitten Calvin that he had done so well by her. For that next coming years, Lara spent her life on her laptop. She researched everything she could find, downloaded all the free video games that she could come across, and taught herself everything the Internet could teach her about coding (which was a lot). Her research and fooling around online quickly came to a staggering halt the moment she turned sixteen whenever she thrusted herself into a job. While she was just working at Best Buy as a cashier, it was something that helped her father out in little ways whenever it came to bills and purchasing groceries. He was constantly protesting her from working as much as she did, but Lara liked that she was finally pulling her own around the house.

Once Lara graduated from high school (fourth in a class of a few hundred), she focused on working and nothing more. She had always dreamed of attending college, but dreams did not pay the bills at home and Lara was terrified of racking up a bill with student loan programs. She was happy though. She climbed the ranks at her local Best Buy and soon enough, she was partaking in the program of Geek Squad. She got to spend time doing what she loved most, handling technology, and was getting paid in the meantime. It only took a couple of years and soon enough, Lara had padded her savings account enough to fly from her nest of a home. It was something that Calvin struggled with, but she was only living a subway trip away from his clutches.

Living on her own was something that Lara quickly found to be a lot more complicated than she had thought. She wanted to be the independent individual she always knew she was, but rent was hard to make every single month. Because of such a thing, Lara was quick to look for roommates. After a few duds came into her life, she came across Evie Miller. She was everything that Lara found annoying in a person, but for the sole purpose of wanting entertainment around her apartment, she decided to sign the lease with allowing her to move in. While it may have taken a couple of months, Lara and Evie soon became inseparable. Not to mention, Evie was the person who inspired and encouraged Lara to start following her dreams and enroll in college. Lara isn’t shy to tell anyone that her roommate is the reason behind her college success, but she keeps it under wraps that while she is attending school for a Computer Science degree, she’s also enrolled in a full time honor’s program. Pets: N/A Relationships:

Evie Miller: At first meeting, Evie was the opposite of the kind of person that LJ wanted to associate herself with. She was the happy-go-lucky type that was constantly barging into her room with her wide smile and multitude of stories, which always made Lara question her decisions about agreeing to be her roommate. However, as time has passed, Lara has considered Evie to be one of her closest friends in life. She’s the epitome of a ‘ride or die’ for Lara.

Matt Solis: For a person that runs the other way from love and actively states that it does not exist, she fell rather hard for Matt. They got along from the very beginning of meeting, and from the moment they kissed, Lara knew that she was screwed. She was wrapped around Matt’s pinky finger up until the moment that things weren’t what fairytales were made of. Somedays, Lara blames herself for being too flaky whenever things got closer and closer to true love. Other days, she blames Matt. While she isn’t entirely sure why she blames her, it’s sometimes easier doing such.

ACup baristas: Since Lara was heavily involved with one of the baristas, Lara spent a lot of time at the establishment. She even made sure to keep her menu hacking skills to a minimum whenever it came to being part of the customer sea.

EXTRA INFO

MON$TA LJ / @laranotcroft/description: sometimes i legitimately believe i might be the love child of a trash can and steve buscemi

Five latest tweets:

@laranotcroft: my top 5 best life moments is still when Smash Mouth RT’d me thats when i truly became an all star @laranotcroft: anyone gotta dollar ??? my bank account would be at $69 then and lemme tell you that would be delish @laranotcroft: ariana grande releasing new music every 6 months is why i’m gay as fuck @laranotcroft: im only a heaux whenever melted cheese is in the pic <3 @laranotcroft: FUCK U @NSA FIRST YOU LET ME INTO CANADA AND THEN YOU LET ME RUN AMUCK IN SINGAPORE ???? IDIOTS shoutout to cousin jay tho ur new wife is hot and its a hella good thing i’m back in america bitch <3

Backstory "How to draw LOVE"

Coincidence or INCIDENT????

Others POV

Jimin bought so many stuff for Blackie and Whiskers, thought Jungkook. Where to put that all??? At least they had Tae to take care of them when they are at work or School. He is all over them and thank god there will be no problem with the House owner because Tae´s parents bought the apartement for him. It was the best Idea he had and Jimin was happy. Even they are a short time together, this gift was a huge step. He was very fast in these things maybe too fast. He had to catch up 2 years and they weren’t even together for a month now.

“Oh god, our first monthery is in 1 ½ Weeks. What to do???” Jungkook thought. “It needs to be a perfect day.” But now he had other problems. He was working on a project for his photography class in college. He had made some really nice sunset pictures some days ago. He wanted to use it for that. His project: “Sunset Glow”. He need it to be done in 2 Days. That´s why he wanted to talk with his Teacher today, to get some advices. During class he made himself some notes. The bell rang which mean school day over and going home finally.

“Mr. Jung, can I talk to you for a second. I need some advice for my project.” Jungkook asked him when he arrived his desk.

“Yes Jungkook, on my way to the parking lot if you want because I have an appointment in an hour.” Mr. Jung packed his bag while talking to him.

“Thank you. That´s good we have the same way.” Jungkook were going back to his place to get his bag too and then followed him. While they made their way down to the hall they talked about this and that. They walked over the campus down to the parking lot.

“Jungkook it would better you do both, making a presentation-map for each of your classmates and also a presentation.” Jungkook nodded and he knew that he would need the whole day tomorrow to get this done. The presentation was already done but the presentation map would take half of the day tomorrow. He needed to go to a copy-shop for that.

“Thank you Mr. Jung. I will have a long day tomorrow. Ha-ha.” Jungkook laughs about that thought.

“School is not easy Jungkook, you know that. But you are good so I think you will make it.” Mr. Jung was always nice and caring with his students. “I need to go now. See you on Thursday Jungkook. I´m excited to see your presentation.”

“Bye Mr. Jung.” Jungkook made his way to his car. Suddenly… a squeaky sound and a loud noise of a car-engine. Jungkook turned around and saw a car coming down from the 2 section, in a fast tempo. He jumped to the side because the car had almost hit him. He just saw the back of the car but not really the license plate. The light was not really good at the place where his car was standing.

“WtH… Why … what??” Jungkook said while sitting on the ground. Then it hit him and he grabbed his left foot. The pain was there and not less. He tried to move his food but couldn´t. Mr. Jung was right on his side in no time. He had seen everything.

“Jungkook are you ok??” He asked looking worried.

“No, not ok. My foot hurts.” Everyone could see in Jungkook´s face how painful it was. Mr. Jung tried to open his shoe and pulled him slowly off. His food was red and swollen at his ankle. At least it looks like that it didn´t was broken.

“You need to go to the hospital, Jungkook. But I have no time to take you there.” Mr. Jung was really worried, you could see it. Then Jungkook said something and Mr. Jung eyes widened.

“I will message my boyfriend. He can pick me up. He will not happy if he gets to hear that.” Jungkook chocked on his words. Did he really said “his boyfriend” in front of his teacher? He looked at him slightly shocked.

“Oh Jungkook, I didn´t know. Wow, but ok. I´m open minded, so don´t worry” Mr. Jung said and that was a surprise for Jungkook.

“So you don´t have a problem with gay/bi people?” Jungkook asked him.

“Not at all. My son hoseok is gay and I had a really hard time accepting it but now it´s ok for me. If he is happy with it, so am I” Mr. Jung was smiling on the outside but inside he was sad. He didn´t saw his son often anymore. While he took care of Jungkooks foot, Jungkook  messaged Jimin and started thinking, Hoseok as in the Hoseok, Jimins colleague.

“Mr. Jung is your Son working at a little Cafe called “Little Sunshine”, near the Park?” asked Jungkook.

“Yes, you know him.” Mr. Jung was surprised

“Well yeah. He is working together with my boyfriend.” Jungkook couldn´t believe it. How small the world was. 

“Jungkook… can you… you know… can you tell Hoseok to message his father. I miss talking to him. He is so busy these days.” Mr. Jung looked kinda sad while saying.

Jungkook nodded his head before looking at his phone. He got a message from Jimin who wasn´t happy at all to hear that, but told him that he would be there in some minutes. 15 min later, Jimin made his way into the Parking Lot. He saw Jungkook with his teacher from afar and parked his car. He closed the door and were making fast steps over to them.

“Kookie, are you… oh god… how did this happen??” Jimin was going down on his knees while talking to him. “Baby, I really thought that I’m the clumsy one in our relationship and not you. But you not doing well in that. It’s the second time.”

“Hello... U must be Jungkooks boyfriend!” Mr. Jung said after a moment. “Now you are here. So i can go. I hope u feel better soon. Your project can wait. Ok, don´t worry about it.” Mr. Jung said and Jungkook was relieved that he didn´t need to pressure himself. After that Mr. Jung was going to his car and was driving of to his appointment.

“Tell me know how this happen??”  Jimin said while caressing Jungkooks shoulder.

“I think it was just a student, who was in a hurry.” Jungkook said with a painful look on his face. “Can we go, Jimin? It´s cold down here and I don´t want to catch a cold.”

“Ok, Baby. Let´s go.” Jimin got up and helped Jungkook to stand at least on one foot. After Jungkook sat back in the Car-seat, Jimin moved fast to his car and closed it. Back at his car, he putted Jungkooks bag in the backseat and closed the door on his side. Jungkook had a lot more pain than before that´s why he tried not to move too much in the seat. While driving, Jimin took glances to his Boyfriend. He was so worried. Jungkook  played with his phone. Suddenly a message popped up from Tae. He had send a snap-pic of Blackie and Whiskers while playing with them. It looked too cute. Jungkook showed it to Jimin who smiled immediately. After 20 min they arrived the Hospital. Jimin helped Jungkook out of the car. After seeing the doctor and making some X-rays they were driving back to Jungkook´s apartment. It´s was just a sprain, luckily. Jimin would take good care of him the next days, Jungkook knew it and smiled over both ears.

“Hey, don´t feel too comfortable ok. My clumsy Baby…” Jimin said and laughs.

“Huh… u can be glad that I can´t walk… otherwise…” Jungkook smirked.

“What… what would you do??” Jimin teased him while putting the cool-pack on his bandaged foot. Jungkook grabbed Jimin´s shirt and pulled him closer. Jimin chuckled by his sudden grip.

“Hmmm… let me think.” Jungkook said and kissed him passionately. Jimin hummed into the kiss.

“I need to go to work now. “ Jimin said after catching some air. “Can you manage it for some time alone or I will write your brother, to come over. Ok.”

“I can use my hands, you know. But if you want, you can message him.” Jungkook said, still wondering why Jimin didn´t asked much about the incident. “Please don´t worry too much ok. Maybe that person had a bad day and wanted to blow of his anger.”

“Yeah, but that doesn´t mean that you have to get hurt.” Jimin looked really worried now. “Anyways I´m glad nothing bad happen. I will be back in the evening ok, Bunny!”

“Ok Baby. Take care. I love you.” Jungkook said and kissed him again before let him go.

“I love you too, my clumsy bun.” Jimin smiled and getting up fast before Jungkook could do anything.

“You…. just wait until I can walk again.” Jungkook said laughing. Jimin took his coat and putted on his shoes. “Bye Baby… “

“Bye Kookie” Jimin made his way out of the apartment and down to the parking lot.

Meanwhile in the apartment. Jungkook was laying on the couch, cool-pack on his foot. He started to think. Why this happen, a second time in-between one week. Was really a coincidence… or, he thought, no stop… don´t start with this.  Maybe he just had a some bad luck, that´s all. Suddenly the door open and Jin came in, with cooked food for dinner. Jungkook smiled and let his thought´s go.

HOW TO DRAW LOVE AU ( 19-20/? )

Jimin follows a well known artist on Facebook; not knowing it is Jungkook; a boy he met two years ago and fell for despite being in a relationship. Jungkook suddenly disappeared on him without saying why and left Jimin with a lot of “what ifs”.

@golden-kookmin there is definitely something going on... let´s see where it goes. ;)

college boyfriend!joshua

a/n: special thanks to @choco-seventeen for giving me the idea of barista!josh which ended up being the best idea ever,,, get rdy to die yall

here it is, our long awaited gentleman of seventeen!! requested by this darling~

i’ve never written anything for josh (which is appalling) and seeing as he’s now,,, like a bias,, i mean i kinda have to don’t i

i’m going to pretend that a straight week of searching for joshua scenarios did not help encourage this

so, lovely josh has always had a love for animation

ever since he was a baby, he’s always found a joy in watching cartoons, so his parents always put on some colorful children’s movie for him whenever he got fussy, or when he’d wake in the middle of the night from a terrifying dream and he’d need some calming down

this kind of comfort of seeing characters of all colors, shapes and sizes gave joshua an abundant imagination as a child. he always found he liked the fantastical feeling of animation that live action didn’t really provide him

anything could happen in animation, and anyone could be anything and look anyway that they liked, which was part of the appeal for him

as he got older, he was exposed to anime (lol) and he found that he enjoyed the more mature animation just as much as the kind marketed for children

and he didn’t discriminate either! he could watch anything from tokyo ghoul and death note to your lie in april and haikyuu!! 

but his favorite kind of animation lied in the love of studio ghibli films

something about the wonder of each film enthralled joshua so much as a teen, bringing him the nostalgia of his childhood that he loved so much

to all of his friends in high school, they had always expected joshua to get a stable, lackluster office job and stay in california with his family, which, originally, was the plan

but the films had inspired him to take a leap, so after applying to a few universities in seoul and getting accepted to the good majority, josh finished up two years of college in california before packing up everything he had and all the money he’d saved from odd jobs through his high school/college career and booked a flight straight to seoul, south korea

he obviously wasn’t flying completely blind, as he did have a friend living there already by the name of vernon

long story short on how the two met, bonding over xbox live can lead to long-lasting friendships ok

after a few years of friendship, countless nights of Skype calls and planning to meet one day, joshua had taken the first step and vernon’s family were more than happy to let joshua stay with them until he could get onto his own two feet (not that there’s any rush!! vernon totally doesn’t mind having an older brother around)

joshua was no stranger to korea either, having been taught korean since a young age by his parents, so he was pretty much set to start his new life in korea, even if his parents were pretty sad to see him go so far and so soon

they knew joshua had been a good kid his whole life, and he was making sure every connection and plan he had for his new life was laid out just right so he wouldn’t make things hard on himself and his family, and that was all they could really ask of him

for the summer before school started in korea, vernon takes to making sure joshua is settled in and at least semi-good at making his way around seoul without a problem

there was that one time,,, where he did get lost for like five hours and showed up back at the chwe house with an assortment of baked goods and sweets and exclaiming that “this stuff is so much better than the stuff in california!!”

vernon: you realize that we all thought you were dead right

josh: *blink blink* hm? :)))

but i mean before vernon knows it, joshua is freakishly adapted to life there and he’s suddenly like a local, making friends with literally everyone he meets because everyone is so fascinated by the american boy!! yet it’s funny cause the way josh saw it, vernon was v similar to him in a lot of ways, so he was a lil overwhelmed to find all of vernon’s friends were like !!! a foreigner !!! tell us everything

and sure, vernon hadn’t been to america since he was about five except to visit family, but they were all sooooo excited to hear about things from joshua’s perspective compared to the younger boy’s

so josh obliged, always talking about his experiences overseas and the other kids would be like :o or :D because!!! to josh that was all just boring everyday stuff to him but to them this was all so cool and interesting, and the way they felt about america was the same way josh felt about korea tbh

after a year in college in seoul, joshua was well settled down at the school

since he’s like,,, one of the best english speakers in school (save for a handful of other students who were bilingual their whole lives, foreigners, or just really good at the subject asjdijisa) he’s always willing to help his friends out with english class projects and he coaches them by speaking to them in english at random intervals

like they’ll be having a completely korean conversation and then all of a sudden josh is like “explain the plot to howl’s moving castle in english” and they’re like o shit here we go

but it’s really helpful??? they all get amazing grades bc of his pop quizes

all hail english professor hong jisoo

but, ok, everyone is so confused because that’s….. not what he goes to college for

like he’s verbalized that he loves learning and that being an english teacher in korea would be great for him bc he loves to show people the joy of learning! but animation was his first love

he’s v passionate about it, and he’s made several short films where the characters were stylized after his friends and their experiences (with their permission of course)

he actually did one on jun’s story of coming to korea for the first time as a chinese transfer student and entered it in a small film contest and won!! and jun was so happy that he cried ok

joshua was on skype with jun to jun’s family back in china and they were all gushing about the film after josh emailed it to them

basically if joshua ever needs to flee to another country, jun’s home is open jun’s mom said joshua has privilege of jun’s room before jun does

despite being really good at animating though, joshua is actually kinda shy about showing his work. he’s even shy showing it to his friends with the exception of vernon and jeonghan, the latter of which passive-aggressively convinced joshua to do it and is now joshua’s biggest hype man

“jisooooo. jun got a movie and I didn’t??” “…what would a movie about you even be about? you don’t do anything but sleep” “it could have been about how much you love me!!”

to placate him joshua showed all the lil drawings of chibi!jeonghan joshua had done over the year and jeonghan wouldn’t stop smiling and hugging josh all day jfc

jk jk tho jeonghan is super supportive and whenever people ask him (or don’t. they usually don’t ask but whom the fuk cares jeonghan says) about joshua, jeonghan just guuuushes about the boy and all of his great art and shows them joshua’s v tentative instagram page of his art. there’s only a few pics of outlines and some small clips of films he puts together, but jeonghan will gas his boy up so bad you’d think joshua already had an oscar

on the side, joshua has a job at the campus coffee shop

and like,, idk if you understand just how much of an accumulator of revenue that boy’s face is??

joshua is pretty humble so whenever his friends tease him and say that most of the customers that come to the coffee shop are there for his face, he downright refuses

but i mean,,, it’s true,, the majority of customers come during joshua’s shifts

and if josh isn’t working, it’s like a funeral home

it gets so bad the school is like “do u wanna like work here forever bc we’re totally down with that”

josh is like “lol no”

but he’s really good at his job and not many ppl notice that!! some jealous dudes think the only reason ppl even buy coffee from the shop is bc josh is serving it and they’re deluding themselves into drinking it, but josh is actually an amazing barista

u kinda get creative with coffee when you’re living off of it to graduate ajsiodha

he’s also king of latte art don’t fight me on this

he was playing around in the back one day on his break when he got an idea to make some art in a latte, bc he was at a creative loss with his art on paper, and he just made this v simple couple of hearts here and there, and then suddenly he was making all kinds of designs that ppl loved

his favorite is a little cat design that is so friggin cute ok. everyone loves it

everyone except you,,, who had no idea this was even a thing

between classes on certain days, you have about two hours of free time to yourself, so you like to escape to your favorite coffee place to study and relax

you usually didn’t like to go during this certain time in the day bc the shop was always bustling with customers and you really rather preferred to be in a smaller crowd. so basically, you’ve never seen joshua

you haven’t even heard of him bc you’ve always been pretty in your head when it comes to your studying time

u basically zone out the minute you can smell the coffee beans

but a friend of yours held you up in your last class, so your two hour break diminished to fifteen minutes, and you still hadn’t had your coffee

you practically bolt toward the coffee shop, but your eyes bug out of your head when you notice that for once, there’s a huge crowd of students there, something that never happens when you’re there

so like, groaning internally, you force yourself into line before anyone else can get in front of you and delay you even further

but like… the line is moving at snail’s pace

you can barely see up front, all you know is that someone is taking their sweet time making coffees

in fact, 70% of your time is swallowed up just waiting for the line to move up

you’re jittery, knowing class starts soon and you already don’t have that much time to book it to your next class at this rate, but you have to have your coffee

finally,,, you reach the front….. and….

“hi there! what can I get you this lovely afternoon?”

in the words of jeonghan again, whom the fuk-

“u-hhuhhhuuu hhh ????” 

windows has shut down unexpectedly

this beautiful specimen of a man is smiling down at you without a worry in the world, blinking softly with the longest, prettiest eyelashes you’ve ever seen on a guy

his hair is short and well kept, roots dark and colored with highlights of chestnut throughout

he’s in the uniform but that’s really only black slacks and a half apron; he’s wearing a really nice baby blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and his collarbones are just slightly exposed with only two buttons undone at the collar- !!

“do you need a minute?” he asks, looking concerned at your vacant expression

that seems to snap you out of it (or maybe the frustrated swears from behind you do), and you sheepishly apologize, spitting out the first thing that comes to mind, which is definitely not your usual order, “small latte, please”

his eyes light up when you answer, “would you like the art too?”

you furrow your brows and he stares at you for a good moment before he realizes,, wow u really don’t know about his latte art? that’s literally all ppl come here during his shift for

but he does notice he’s never actually seen you during his shifts before

hmm. interesting

“i… i do latte art. it’s kind of… sort of a thing? i don’t know, um, would you like me to make you something in particular?” he says, suddenly a little flustered

you know. you know deep in your heart that you have zero time to spare and that you really shouldn’t be late for this class… but also,,, why the heck not

“surprise me!” you say softly, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding

joshua perks up and he nods (probably harder than he should have) and quickly puts in your order for your latte 

you quickly scoot to the side and another boy takes over in his place as he turns to make your coffee, and you can’t help but watch his calm, gentle hands as he prepares it

there’s no rush in him, no sloppiness detected, and you can tell he takes pride in his craft

he pours the steamed milk with no difficulty, pouring it with such smooth precision that it hypnotizes you, even as he’s half turned from you and you can barely see what he makes

it’s only when he’s done and handing over your coffee with a smile that you realize,, you’re holding a mug

you forgot to ask for a to-go cup!

but like,,, if you put it in a to-go cup now, it’ll ruin his art

yet, you’re so late for class already……..

he looks at you with even more concern when he just catches you staring at the small tulip etched into the surface of the coffee, and he’s about to ask if you’re alright when you suddenly smile at him and say “you’re beautiful”

in ur mind, you’ve just told him the art he made in your coffee was beautiful

it takes u like,, eight seconds to register that is not what you said AT ALL

but by the time you realize your mistake and wordlessly try to motion to the cup he’s already laughing gently behind his hand, eyes locked on yours, and when he’s done he says “i’m sorry, i’m not making fun of you… you’re just… very sweet. i hope you enjoy the coffee”

part of u still wants to correct yourself, maybe save some of your pride, but instead, you simply sigh and accept his compliment that low (high) key makes your heart beat a little faster, and you quickly whisper a “thanks again!!” before skedaddling

and josh just watches with a soft smile, and can’t seem to get the strange new customer out of his head even after his shift

he doesn’t even mention that you’ve stolen the mug when his co-worker asks about it in bewildered confusion

“just say I broke it” he tells him, and goes back to work like nothing happened

the next day, you come in much earlier and find that the shop is void of a crowd, much to your relief and quieter dismay

holding in your hands the mug that you had washed and stared at in disbelieving horror the whole night in your dorm, you walk up to the counter and hold out the mug to the cashier, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion when you start to ashamedly explain exactly how you had snuck out one of the mugs

but before you can even get anything out, josh suddenly appears from the back, tying his apron just as he spots you and he goes “oh!! hey, mug stealer”

your face flashes in mortification

“i swear it was an accident-” “don’t worry, no hard feelings. I already covered for you so I mean, it’s practically yours anyway. you didn’t have to bring it back”

but you still hold it out, sighing “it made me feel bad, ok? i can’t look at this shame cup anymore”

joshua snorts bc

shame cup

ur too fucking cute for him

“ok, well, let’s make it not so shameful” he says, carefully taking the mug from you and going over to the coffee machine “latte, right? same as usual?” he throw over his shoulder

the girl at the cashier actually knows you, has served you for the last few years, so she shakes her head and tells him that’s not your usual, which makes him a little surprised and he apologizes, saying that he’s since switched around shifts with someone else so he’s still adjusting, so he’s about to ask you what you usually get when you blurt “latte’s fine!” 

and ok, yeh, you’re not getting a latte for him of course

obviously

he just smiles that beautiful smile and gets to work, and the cashier gives you a small, very indiscreet wink much to your chagrin

you shuffle to the side and watch joshua work again, smiling as he gets ready to pour the milk, when he asks what kind of art you’d like

“can I have… wait, what are you good at?” “hm, well, my favorite is a kitty” “kitty it is!”

he quietly makes your kitty, lip tucked between his teeth and you can tell he’s working hard 

he sets the cup before you (this time in a foam cup, just in case you have to run and didn’t remember to tell him again), and watches with pride as you beam at the art, your eyes shining

before you even think about it, you’re whipping out your phone and snapping a photo of it for instagram, before you realize you don’t simply want to credit “random handsome campus barista” for something as beautiful as that

“what’s your name?” you ask, and joshua tells you, and you quickly type down his name in the caption before tapping the photo to add a tag “do you have a instagram?”

and though he rarely ever uses it unless jeonghan prompts him to, joshua spells out his username for you and you tag him successfully, posting the photo just as joshua’s back pocket vibrates with a notification

“thank you so much, joshua. you’re really good at this you know” 

and josh hears it from everyone a lot. all of his customers and co-workers compliment him often so it’s not like he’s unaware of his talent

but there’s just something about the fact that you complimented him that makes him blush, but he just bows a little at you and thanks you softly as you depart to find a table to start studying

of which,,, u do not do lol

even tho it’s barely 10 posts, you spend quite a while looking through joshua’s instagram

they’re mainly shots of his art, of which you soon find out that his major is animation and film development

the captions are v minimalist, but in the comments to his friends and others who’d found his insta, he’s cutely gushing with lots of exclamation marks and the like about how his work is coming along, having casual convos about the others and how their lives are going, and responding to compliments with v heartfelt thanks

because he doesn’t post much, you check the posts he’s tagged in and see a bunch of candid, secret pics of him from all kinds of funny angles, most from students and some parody ones from his friends

by the time you decide to check how much time you have left until your next class, you find you’ve got about a half hour to cram whatever you were going to study within two hours into half of one and get to your lecture on time

so as fast as your legs will allow, you quickly hit follow on his instagram and stuff everything you have back into your bag before sprinting out, missing joshua’s small goodbye and wave in your haste

he smiles anyway, and later when he gets off his shift, he checks his notifications and finds he has a new follower… you

he totally misses everything his professor says looking through your instagram for a good hour and a half

so it goes on like this for a while, you getting your coffee from josh now that half his adoring fans are usually in class when you go to see him, and the two of you casually chatting about this and that

he talks about his major, you talk about yours, and a pure friendship forms

with josh, you really feel like you can talk to him about anything and he understands

he speaks slow, soft, uses pretty words but they’re never overrated. he talks to you with the utmost respect and attention, 100% focused on you whenever you’re around. you’re honestly surprised no one has snatched him yet, what with how much of a catch he is

and like,, you know that anyone would kill to date him because not only is he talented and beautiful and a certified dorkozoid, he’s considerate, kind, feminine…. he almost feels untouched by this world and everything in it

maybe that’s why, you usually think. he’s a catch. anyone would be lucky to have him and you’re having regular chats over coffee and you can tell ppl are jealous

but he just feels too good for you. for anyone

you can’t think of one person on campus that would be good for him. not necessarily that there isn’t anyone… it’s just… who?

as months pass and winter gets colder, you find yourself feeling the effects of being single ten times more

so your friends are like!! are you still head over heels for that barista?? let’s set you up on a blind date to get your mind off it!!!

you’re only like 60% against it

because honestly, even though you’d do anything to work up the courage to date joshua, you wouldn’t mind getting a little dolled up for someone and having fun on a date

so your friends set you up with some guy who’d meet you at this italian place in the city on friday, and you anticipate the day, even telling josh about it when he has time to listen

“ahh… heh, a blind date? you must be super excited” 

instantly you can tell something is off with the way josh talks, but he still keeps that pleasant smile, even tho it doesn’t quite reach his eyes

for the next few days leading up until friday, josh feels a little more reserved to you, not as open as usual and somehow always a little out of it when he talks to you

even when you ask, he just smiles (and it is nothing like his real smile) and tells you he’s fine

so come friday, you’re all dressed up and you happen to walk past the campus coffee shop and see joshua going in for a late shift, so you wave to him on your way and

fuck

fuck

he can’t even manage to say anything, completely speechless as he sees how absolutely stunning you look

and how he wishes you’d turn into the shop, grab his hand and tell him you were excited for your date

but instead, you’re meeting someone else, and all he can hope is that they care about you half as much as he does. even half was a feat

he suddenly catches up to you before going in, grabbing your hand, and you blink up at him in confusion when he says “be careful. text me when you get there please? so i know you got there okay. and… and text me, or one of your friends on your way home, please. you don’t know who this guy is or what he might do. just… have fun. be careful.”

you look at josh, his eyes showing such worry and concern for your well being that you pull him into a quick hug, smiling into his chest as he lets out a sigh, “of course. i’ll be good. plus, i have a pocket knife and a full can of pepper spray just in case he tries to get one over on me”

he chuckles, feeling a lot more relaxed as he hugs you back, “let’s trust you come back with that can still full and that knife still clean, alright?”

eventually, he has to send you off, and you head to your date

you arrive by 6:55, having been told that he’d be there by 7, and so you anxiously look around, knowing you were supposed to be on the lookout for a guy in a navy blazer

but… all the guys in navy blazers are there with someone already

by the time it’s 7:30, the waiter has come by twice, asking if the other member of your party is coming

and by 8, you’re sure he’s not

so you begrudgingly order dinner, eat it in angered silence, and don’t even bother to text your friends he didn’t show. you get your leftovers boxed and order one slice of strawberry cheesecake and leave, your eyes stinging and your heart hurting, but you get back to the school just fine

and at first, you were going to just head back to your dorm. 

but you walk past the coffee shop, and you look through the windows to see it’s still open and josh is still inside, cleaning up and shutting down for the night

before you can think, you’re rushing inside, glad he hadn’t locked the doors, and as soon as josh looks up in surprise to see you, he’s shuffling out from behind the counter and scolding you with “you never told me if you arrived or not. why are you back so early? you look sad, (y/n). what happened? what did that bastard do-” “I have cheesecake. you want some? take it or leave it”

you look hurt, but you keep up the stony expression and he just quietly nods, following you to a booth in the very back

he says nothing as you take out the cheesecake, says nothing as you go into the back and grab two forks and hand him one, says nothing as you take the first piece and sigh, over-exaggeratedly praising the dessert

he says nothing because he knows better. instead, he just listens as you begin to babble about the day, about how excited you were for today all week, how your friends had gassed up your blind date so much and how you had spent two hours eating by yourself, too embarrassed to cry or even tell your friends

he watches as you quietly struggle to pick up a strawberry, the sauce drenched fruit slipping off your fork as your hand trembles with words unsaid

so, he slides out of the booth and into yours, slips an arm around your shoulders, and makes you put it down

“it’s okay. i’m here” he says softly into your ear, and you let it all out into his shoulder

all of your tears and makeup stain his shirt but he couldn’t care less, his only priority in holding you close and comforting you

he wants to beat up your blind date, make them feel terrible for ever passing up an opportunity to spend a night with you because gdi, you were amazing and lovely and he wished he was in that bastard’s shoes

you guys stay like that for a while, you simply relishing in his comfort and joshua wishing he could help you feel better, yet not knowing how

but then he gets an idea

“do you want me to show you how to make latte art? you mentioned you were interested once”

at first, you’re kind of like??? now of all times?? but you also can’t help wanting to get your mind off things, so he helps you slip out of the booth and leads you to the back in the kitchen

there you see his sketchbook and laptop up, seeing he had been working on something before he’d gone to clean up

he goes to get some coffee together while you look over his work, smiling when you see he’s intricately drawing a character at a booth in what looked like a coffee shop, but as you look at it longer, something starts to click

“josh?” you ask, and he hums, filling up a cup with some coffee “Is… is this me?”

he glances back at you and his eyes widen some when he sees what you’re looking at, but he turns back around to play it off before you can say anything “ah, yeah. i needed to warm up so… i thought of you and drew”

“this looks way too detailed for a warm up” you say with a smile, tracing your fingers over the drawing, half of it colored in, the other half still white parchment paper and blending in to the colors where they end

josh snorts, making his way over to you and closing the notebook, “look at you. you know me too well, it seems”

you simply nudge him and he places the coffee cup before you before handing you a metal cup of steamed milk, “so, we’re going to start out with making a simple heart. it’s really important how you guide your hand. i don’t expect it to be perfect, so just try, freely”

he hands you the cup and you nod, turning the spout toward the cup and trying to carefully pour in the shape of a heart, but it becomes a deformed swirl too soon

josh still smiles, telling you to attempt to fix your mistake, but you continue to find it hard, somehow making the swirl more prominent

“josh, please help me” you whine with a small smile, and he nods with a laugh, reaching his arms around you

and,,, you’re caged against the counter, his hand coming to rest above your own where you hold the milk, and his head leans down to whisper into your ear how you should pour, murmuring “it takes a bit of practice, but once you get it, it’s satisfying”

you can’t even focus on the damn coffee bc he’s so close sasjhnasi

he keeps whispering in your ear, helping you try to fix your mistake, and then he grabs a toothpick and starts to trace the swirl into something of a shape, looking a lot better than before

“see?” he whispers by your ear, smiling even as your heart beats so hard you bet he can hear it against your back “not so bad”

you turn your head slightly, only able to move so much with his arm around you and body behind you, keeping you practically pushed up against the counter

he just looks at you for a moment when he sees the look in your eyes, mouth going a little dry

it must be the moment, or maybe the mix of emotions you’d released earlier, because you can’t find the nervousness from before anywhere near when you knead your fingers into his shirt and pull him in to kiss

his lips taste like coffee and stolen sweets, and he moves his body only to turn you around for better access to your mouth, his large hands closing around your hips and squeezing

he’s careful but he is not shy. he kisses you like he’s been wanting to all night, and if you asked him, he’d tell you he had 

you get so caught up in his heady kiss that even when he lifts you onto the counter and pulls himself between your legs, you don’t stop to laugh or marvel at his strength you didn’t know he had. you just thank god that he’s closer

after a few moments, he ends up pulling away, your lips chasing his with a frustrated whine that has him nearly buckling under his weight “my boss will kill me if we make out in the kitchen”

“then let’s take it somewhere else, dummy”

joshua has never locked up the coffee shop faster

after that day, he finally asks you out, and of course, you say yes

your friends apologize to you, feeling absolutely terrible for what happened with the blind date, but you honestly couldn’t care less bc if you hadn’t been stood up, you may have never gotten the chance to kiss joshua

everyone, and i mean everyone can tell there’s something different about josh come monday

he’s so much more peppy, so much more friendly, he’s practically beaming like a ray of sunshine,, like more than usual

and it’s so obvious why when you come in, stealing a kiss from him when he gets your coffee to you before you leave

josh’s co-workers are like??? is this allowed?? wtf is this allowed????

joshua’s boss doesn’t care cause it’s FRICKIN CUTE

a majority of joshua’s suitors back off when they find out he’s taken, but of course they continue to come bc josh is amazing at making coffee and no one is petty enough to stop coming just bc he’s taken lol

if joshua was an amazing friend, he’s an even better boyfriend ok

turns out that one drawing of you in the coffee shop was not the only one

he draws you often, and his favorite you to draw is a cute lil chibi version which he swears is so cute bc like,,, u small

boy literally giggles whenever he thinks about it

you: it’s really not that funny josh-

joshua: YOU’RE SO SMALL

actually made a chibi ver of himself and animated your chibi selves to kiss

he sent you the video and you look at it before you go to sleep every night bc it’s so cute

is always hyped for animated films and you can never get him as excited for live action films

he goes absolutely nuts for disney and stuff but he’s also a fine tuned indie animated film connoisseur of course

sometimes he’ll be like “so i watched this film last night called blah blah blah and it was about blah blah blah and…” and you don’t know wth he’s talking bout sometimes but you just listen to him babble bc u love him

scolds u if you haven’t seen a particular movie/anime/cartoon and then proceeds to force you to watch it

but you actually end up liking them?? and some of them become your comfort movies just because they remind you of josh

will send you animated couples and be like “this is us”

even if you two have nothing in common with the characters? it could just be a cute scene and he’ll link it back to you two

jeonghan LOVES you…. and also will fight you for joshua’s attention but he still loves you

he prides himself on being “joshua’s best friend” but then you meet vernon and vernon is like “he was my best friend first” so you go from a love triangle to a love square

if you added in all of joshua’s admirers it’d be like a love….  enneacontakaipentagon

(that is a thing)

since it’s a lot to go back to america to meet josh’s family, you instead meet vernon’s family in place of them, who despite only knowing josh for a year feel like he’s their second son

they gush about how much they love him and his influence on vernon and vernon’s lil sister and it’s just,,, so precious

but you can tell he gets homesick sometimes, and when family holidays come, he gets particularly sad

vernon’s family works hard to make it easier on him so they set up a skype date with his family every holiday and you watch josh as he talks about how his graduation is coming up, how he can’t wait to visit them, how he misses his mom’s home cooking and how nice life is in seoul

he introduces you to them over skype as well and they’re so kind and lovely!! they absolutely spoil you with love and attention and only have lovely things to say about you

then one day, you get a call from vernon’s mother

she tells you that secretly, they’ve been setting up for joshua’s parents to come visit, and they want you to keep it secret, as well as keep joshua out of the house the day they arrive so he doesn’t catch on

which,, proves harder than you expect

even on spring break your lovely boyfriend only wants to stay in and catch up on shows with you so you have to literally drag him out of the house to hang with jeonghan and vernon at the mall

while you’re all out, joshua just happens to see a shirt while you’re all shopping

it’s a tank top with the word “california” written across it

and usually, josh would just ignore little things like that, but as he stands there, he starts thinking of home and his family who he misses like crazy

it’s not like him, but a few tears slip past his eyes before he wipes them away, attempting to hide it before one of you saw

you did, but you don’t say anything, instead hooking an arm with him and leading him elsewhere, practically bursting with the need to tell joshua what was awaiting him at home

you manage to keep it secret though, even as you smile wider than ever on your back to vernon’s house

of course,,, josh is highly concerned

“why are you smiling so much? what are you hiding?” “dang boy, can’t a girl just smile a lil bit” “not like that. your smile is too big. it’s creeping me out”

if you weren’t driving you might’ve socked him in the arm

you carefully pull up to the house and joshua’s eyebrows furrows when he notices vernon’s parents’ car is parked somewhere different than it was when you all left 

“v, did your parents go somewhere?” he asks, but vernon simply shrugs and follows a grinning jeonghan out of the car, leaving just you and him alone

he stares at you for a bit, the smile still on your face, and then looks back at the house, the wheels turning behind his eyes

“what are you waiting for? i don’t know about you, but I wanna meet the hongs sometime this week, thank you”

his eyes widen a little bit and you’re laughing as he tumbles out of the car, rushing toward the front door as you trail behind, hearing a chorus of elated screams before you enter the house

when you do, you see josh all wrapped up in between his parents, all three of them crying into each other as jeonghan, vernon, and vernon’s family watch with smiles just like yours

for the rest of the day, you spend it with josh and his family, catching up on all that they’ve missed along with getting to know the hongs personally

they’re just as sweet in person as they are over skype, and they absolutely love poking fun at josh to you whenever they get the chance

the sound of josh’s embarrassed “mooooooom” in the background as she tells you about josh’s anime phase and how she’d seen an episode of one of those shows and had to have a talk with him afterward

you: what were you watching, josh?

josh:… i have since refined my taste

by the time the night ends, you’ve got enough embarrassment fodder to last you months

“please don’t take anything my parents said seriously okay. they live to make my life terrible” he tells you over the phone that night, after vernon’s family told you it was getting far too late and you should be heading home

highest of keys, josh was hoping you’d stay so late that they’d let you sleep over but knowing he had two (2) sets of parents in the house now, they’d probably make vernon sleep between you two and that’s the closest you’d get throughout the night

“i don’t know about that. those baby stories were comedy gold” you grin into the phone, laying on your back and smiling up at the ceiling

he scoffs, “just wait till i meet your parents. they’ll tell me all the crazy stories and i’ll have so much blackmail i won’t even know what to do with” “isn’t it funny how i met your parents, who live in california, before you met mine who live here?”

he smiles into the phone, “’s okay. makes us a unique couple. i was starting to think we were far too daydreamy. almost feels like a movie.”

“i’m surprised you haven’t turned it into one, actually” you say, playing with your shirt hem as sleepiness starts to creep up on you and you let out a yawn

“i promise one day i’ll make a movie about us. now go to sleep, i’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

you yawn again but oblige, and you say your goodbyes before hanging up and laying down to fall asleep, a content smile on your face

but then your phone vibrates under your pillow not twenty minutes later

confused, you pull it out, and find a video message from joshua

carefully, you open it, unsure of what you’ll expect, but find a seemingly quickly drawn stop motion video of chibi!you and chibi!josh kissing each other’s cheeks

you smile tiredly, shaking your head at the boy, but as the video comes to an end, a speech bubble appears above chibi!josh’s head, his eyes turning into hearts as he speaks to chibi!you “i’ve been debating on when to say this for a while, but i’m proud to be the first of us to say it: i love you”

the video ends, and you giddily dial josh’s number once more, the boy picking up just as quickly as you had called

“yes?” he says softly, voice tinged with slight worry

but you just chuckle, “jerk. i wanted to say it first. now let me go to sleep… i love you too”

photographer!kihyun au

i,,, have had a thing for photographer kihyun for like,,,eVer sinCE i started stanning him,,,

and since there’s not much out there fics/aus about photographer kihyun

/rolls sleeve/

ok but photographer!kihyun would be both cool and cute i kid u not

the type to always???? ALWAYS!!!! have his camera by his side; either slung on his arm or in his backpack

there was this one time he forgot to bring his camera along and his friends thought something happened to him or the camera

“is ur camera oKay??????r YOU okay????” “why wouldn’t they be okay and im here aren’t i?”

turns out he just forgot to charge the batteries overnight shdsdsj clumsy

but how much do you wanna bet he can’t sit still without his camera by his side?

“yOo kihYUN sTop FidgEting” “i cant help it!!!!i’m so used to have my camera with me i-”

his camera is basically his wife,, but anyways moving on,

the type to be gone during the weekends to take short trips to the beach or countryside for pictures

“hey kihyun are you free this weekend” “can’t im going to the beach” “hey ki-” “CANT i have to go to the neighbouring city”

but his pictures ended up being to die for so it’s forgiven ;;

his phone wallpapers,,, would mostly b pictures of sceneries he took. Only on rare occasion it would be faces of people,,,, prob mainly bcs it was him who took it.

imagine him putting a picture of minhyuk because he loved the way the pic turned out and minhyuk saw,,,

“omg ki i didn’t know u liked me that much ;”^ )” “i  DONT. the pic just turned out nic-” “AWWW SHUSH I Like Me Too ;););)” “sdhjsdhjskajhskja remind me to not take a pic of u ever again”

“no way u like the way he poses for pics too much to not take pics of him” - prob shownu

“,,,,,, riTe”

its tru tho kihyun is picky when it comes to his pictures, especially potraits and he always complains about how its so hard to take pics of shownu

“shownu u do know you can breathe like normal, right?”

but anyways,

his instagram!!!!

god his instagram would b aesthetically pleasing nd like, low quality-ly hq,,

pics from his trips? pics from his coffee stops? pics of mx hanging out? you got them all!

but like,, what’s hard to see in his feed is probably his selfie since he takes bad selfies according to wonho and minhyuk

“i  DO NOT. take bad selfies” - says kihyun as he poses the same pose for 2938482 selfies with the same angle

sighs

so instead of uploading his selfies, the only pictures that would have his face in it would be the candids the boys took of him

from when he’s drinking coffees, or from when he’s taking pictures,,,

mostly r pics of him taking pictures w his camera since he find himself looking extra cool doing those

but like,,, since most of his pics r candids, u can hardly see his face since it’s always being covered w camera or looking down

also since most pics r from  the boys, u could expect to see minhyuk or wonho annoyingly commenting on his pics

“omg what a cool pic i wonder who took them” “i bet the photographer’s good looking tell him i’m a fan of him!”

“im  Blocking. both of u”

ok but you,,,, you do know kihyun, sort of

that is if u consider being friends with changkyun and hearing changkyun bragging about how good this one photographer friend is then yeah you do know kihyun

you follow him on instagram, but like,,, u never actually met him before??

tho judging on his ig pics he seems attractive but also seems like a snoob?? or a bit cocky?? based on his comments so idk,, u just dont really like those type of guys

but anyways, you’re studying filming major in school so you’re always standing behind the camera or screens instead,

but you’re been told a handful of time that you have enough visuals to be a model,, it DID crossed ur mind but like???me??? a model??? must b mad enough to do  That,  so u didnt

so you’re a close friends with changkyun, and you two are always hanging out when kyun ain’t hanging out w mx

so when you’re out together, it’s always u who takes kyun’s pictures and you’re no photography student, but you could say your pics r decent (since you actually like photography as well,)

changkyun loves!!!! ur pic and he always say that you would bond well with kihyun since the two of you have similar taste

youre like  “naaaaah no thx” and kyun just shrugs bcs like okay then sure no fOrcing u

so u continue to hangout with changkyun with him mentioning about wanting the two of you meeting up but you always refusing

UNTIL 

one day you two were hanging out at the park, just casual and being a bunch of goofs when kyun said some of the mx boys r here and wants to meet up nd if its okay with you

“yeAH??? i mean i would love to meet them anyways especially minhyuk! i heard he’s kinda cool,,”

“yeah but there’s gonna be kihy-” changkyun before his words being interrupted by a hollering minhyuk from afar

you immediately recognize minhyuk based on his jumpy attitude and also wonho who’s following behind a sprinting minhyuk

minhyuk immediately pounced on changkyun and you like,, laughed at how done kyun looked

u suddenly heard some clicker sound beside u and when u turn, ur eyes meet w a pair of very??? beautiful??? eyes???

it took a few seconds but u then realized it was kihyun,, with his camera his hand,, like OF COURSE kihyun would b around taking pics

immediately introducing yourself to the boys, changkyun immediately said, “ah ki hyung, she’s the one who always took my cafe an d ootd pics”

youre like ?? but when u look at kihyun he was like O-o and was saying “yeah i sorta figured?? since u hardly hang out w anyone else anyways” but he wasnt even looking at u or anything,,,

“wow he really /is/ snobby,,,,” was what u thought at first since even after a few mins of hanging out at the park, he still wont meet ur eyes??? even when he’s talking to you or something??? wow   rood.

but like yea you guys hanged out for a while longer before u decided to leave the boys alone

so when you excused yourself, changkyun was like “yeah yeah sure i’ll see you later” but

kihyun seemed weirdly and surprisingly disappointed for someone who hardly made any eye contact w you through out the hour of hanging out

nd judging on his personality around the boys and on what changkyun told you, you doubt he’s actually  SHY

(in which he is but we’ll get to that later)

but anyways, kihyun was like: “you’re leaving already?”

“????y ea??? i have early classes tomorrow so,,”

“o right your filming classes”

???? ?you’re actually surprised that he knows??? but okay then

so like u go home and attend your classes like normal for almost a whole week, nothing unusual happened, and u doing ur usual routine,

like going to classes, having lunch w your friends and changkyun when he’s free, studying in the library,, and even going out during the afternoon for an hour of,,, walk

so here’s the thing

even when you’re a film student, you have a huge interest in photography, so,

every afternoon you would go out for an hour or two, just to walk around town, stopping once in a while to just take pictures.

people thought you go out for some exercises but l mao n O

you always have your small handy little camera by your side,, your loyal best friend.

so like it was a week??? after that meeting with kihyun and the other boys, but nothing happened,

you did saw kihyun around the campus once in a while,

but everytime your eyes locked, he would blin k for once or twice then quickly look away,

in WHICH, helped u to think that he’s really a snob

(u gH HE IS REALLY NOT but we’ll get there anyways,)

so like one afternoon you’re just walking around town, taking pictures like normal,

and you’re at this small park at the end of town,

its small, and not packed, just like how u like it,,

so you ended up just spending your afternoon there, taking pictures and stuff

nd after a while u spot a cute little kitten playing around, and of course u took pictures of it

the cat spotted you and it just ran towards you and soon,,

your camera was forgotten and you’re there,

just sitting on the ground and playing with the little kitten,,,

it was really peaceful, with just you and the kitten, and maybe some one or two people passing by, a couple sitting on a bench nearby,, but that’s just it

it’s not noisy or anything, just the way you like it,,

at least until u heard some sound of the flicker of a camera

looking around, you were expecting to see someone taking photos of views or the trees,, BUT

what you wasnt expecting was seeing a camera lens being pointed directly towards you,, just a few feet away from you,, and the kitten

you just stared at the camera,, nd the person behind the camera since you’re not really sure what to do

because like you’re not sure either to be mad or not?? since yea, it’s not nice to take other people’s pictures without permission but like,

you yourself have taken so many candid pictures of others,,, so??? u’re not exactly sure??

realizing they were caught, the person quickly lower down their camera and bow down their head slightly

but like you managed to catch their face and you just,,,: “kihyun???”

the person look up at you and with his round glasses on the bridge of his nose, his beanie covering his black hair, a simple round sweater hugging his figure,

you could easily tell it is indeed your campus’ infamous photographer, Mr. Yoo Kihyun

“what are you-”

“look, i’m sorry for taking your picture without permission it’s just that the settings was all so nice and the sunlight was on point, the kitten was active and you look really pretty so i just had to,, and like i hope u dont ask me to delete them??? because it’s really pretty,,, like i could show u if you don’t believe me it’s ReALLy nice!!! and-”

“l mao kihyun you’re babbling and yea of course you can keep them,”

“please dont tell me to- wait, what?? reaLLy???”

“yea h, i mean, as long as i look good in them tho”

“o- oh,, well,, u do look decent i guess???”

“don’t lie, i heard it when u said i looked pretty.”

“o h sh OOt”

CUE a cute blushing kihyun scratching his nape, trying to figure out how to cover up his honest words he blurted out a while ago,

but when he looked up trying to spit out some words about how it was the sun that helped you looked nice,, he sees you grinning at him while the little kitten still playing with your fingers,,,

and he thought,, oh screw it

“y-yeah,, well you always look good anyways, so nothings new”

and when he sees your cheeks slowly growing red, he was glad he said those words,,

he’d always thought you’re cute anyways, only he never actually brought up the guts to approach you properly

and now,, with you here for once smiling at him instead of looking at him as if he’s some kind of snob you hate, which he knows you thought of him that way before this,,

he decided he’s gonna be a  Man and not waste this chance with you

“but like, do you wanna see it though? the pictures, i mean.”

a/n : i might do a second part of this, who knows since i have a major big fat love for photographer!kihyun anyways! Also, newton was released today and photographer!kihyun made his appearance!!!! 

“If I Was Your Boyfriend”

           I met Kendall Ross at freshman orientation all the way back on our first day at Richland University and he kept me in the friend zone our entire freshman year. It wasn’t until the last two weeks of the spring semester that he finally let me take him out on a real date. The date went perfect so we went on a few more, and then we had sex the following weekend. Naturally, I thought that meant we were in a relationship but when I showed up at his dorm on moveout day, he dropped a bomb on me.

           “You have a boyfriend?” I asked him. “Ken, why didn’t you tell me?”

           “Because it’s complicated,” he answered while putting clothes in a duffle bag.

           “So what, you and him agreed to see other people?”

           “Not quite.”

           “I’m the side dude?”

           “Brendan, it’s complicated.”

           “Is your roommate coming back?”

           “No, he’s already gone home.”

           I stepped over to the door and closed it before telling him, “Kendall, I really care about you. I’ve been trying to get with you since back in August and you kept telling me you just wanted to be friends. Then all of a sudden, a couple of weeks ago, you wanted to go on a date with me and we had sex. You didn’t say anything about a boyfriend this whole time. Are you making it up so you don’t have to be with me? If you just wanted sex, you could’ve said that.”

           He pulled out his phone and brought up something before handing it to me and saying, “That’s me with Terrell during Christmas break.”

           The pic was of Kendall with some dark-skinned super skinny dude with dreads lying together on a bed smiling. I quickly handed him the phone back and asked, “How serious are y’all?”

           “He’s my first, Brendan. I love him. We’ve been through a lot since we were fourteen. We had a big argument during spring break and we stopped talking. I wanna try to fix it over the summer.”

                                         Me (Brendan Porter)

           “If it’s that much hard work, maybe it shouldn’t be fixed. Baby…”

           “Brendan, I need to finish packing. My parents are coming to pick me up tonight.”

           “Just let me take you out one more time before they get here.”

           “No.”

           “Kendall, please. You know how I feel about you. I’ve been wanting to be your boyfriend for a minute. All the time we spent together cuddling and shit, and now you got a boyfriend? I feel used.”

           He sighed and told me, “I promise you that I did not use you or anything like that. Brendan, you are the perfect guy. You’re laidback, you’re nice and you listen to me. The night we had sex was easily one of the best nights of my life. I’ve only had sex with one other boy and that’s Terrell. I’ve always thought about what it would be like to be with someone else, and you gave me an unforgettable experience. I don’t feel guilty at all because Terrell has cheated on me so many times. But I still love him. I love him so much, Brendan. I can’t picture what my life would be like without him.”

           I grabbed his hand and stared into his eyes before confessing, “I’m falling in love with you, Kendall. I know you don’t feel that way about me but that’s how I feel about you. I want you to be my boyfriend because I think we fit together. And no, I’m not talking about my dick fitting in your ass.” I laughed and he giggled. I got serious again as I continued, “I just think it’s worth a shot. I understand you got your thing with him, but it must not be what is used to be if you were able to connect with me.”

           “Okay.”

           “Okay…what?”

           “I’ll go on one more date with you before my parents get here tonight.”

           “Thank you.”

           “But if you can’t convince me that you’d be better for me than Terrell, we’re going to have to stay friends. Deal?”

           “Deal. Can we kiss on it?”

           “Sure.”

                                                Kendall Ross

           He smiled and stood on the tips of his toes so that he could press his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. The way he was caressing the back of my neck while we kissed was making my dick hard, so I backed away and told him, “I’ll come back by here a little later and we can walk to that Taco Bell and…”

           “No, I don’t want Taco Bell. I want Chili’s.”

           “Alright, we can go to Chili’s then. After that, we can go see a movie. I’ll get us a ride with Uber. Whatever you want, boo.”

           He giggled and asked, “Boo? You think you’re so cute.”

           “Nah, you’re the cute one. Thank you for at least giving me a chance. I don’t want tonight to be our last date, but I’ll respect you if you turn me down.”

           “See, why do you always have to be so damn understanding and sweet all the time?”

           I blushed and replied, “Because you deserve a sweet and understanding boyfriend. I’ll see you later, boo.”

           I didn’t want him to know I was nervous so I held it together as I left his dorm. The moment I made it outside, I had to lean against a wall and catch my breath. I told him that I was falling in love with him but the truth was I was already in love with him. I started falling for him months before we had sex. Kendall was everything I could ever want in a boyfriend. He was slightly fem, cute as hell and said what was on his mind. It was rare that I got to connect with someone on the level I connected with Kendall. Usually, I’d find somebody on-campus or nearby on Jack’d and get my dick sucked or rarely I’d fuck somebody, but it was just a hookup. With Kendall, it was like I’d found my other half.

           “He’s leaving tonight?” my roommate Elvin asked me.

           “Yeah,” I answered. “I only have tonight to prove to him that I’m better for him than his lame ass so-called boyfriend Terrell. Dude looks like he hasn’t eaten in months. How could Kendall even think about staying with a dude who cheats on him all the time?”

           He laughed and asked, “I guess dudes like Kendall and girls are similar, huh? No matter how bad a nigga treats them, they still give him chance after chance.”

           “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never dated a girl before.”

           “What? Never?”

           “Why is that so hard to believe?”

           “Because you’re not like most gay dudes. I thought you were bi or something.”

           “Nah, I’ve never been into girls. I came out to my brother when I was thirteen and to my parents when I was fifteen. It took my parents a little while to get used to it but they’re cool now. My brother never had a problem with it.”

                                                    Elvin

           “I’ve been living in this dorm with you this whole school year and I never knew you were gay-gay.”

           I laughed and asked, “Gay-gay?”

           “You know what I mean. So many girls hit on you.”

           “It’s actually not that bad. They hit on me and I tell them they’re beautiful but I’m not interested. I’ve never had a problem to be honest. Women get it worse though. Straight guys can’t take rejection as well as women can. And I’ve seen how many straight dudes react to getting hit on by other dudes.”

           “I get hit on by gay dudes and you don’t see me flipping out.”

           “That’s you. You’re in the minority.”

           “You ever hit on a straight dude?”

           “Hell no. That’s not my type.”

           “Oh, so girly dudes like Kendall are your type.”

           “He ain’t girly, bruh. He’s just…different. He’s a little fem but I wouldn’t call that girly. That’s disrespectful.”

           “My bad, man. I didn’t mean to insult your wifey like that.”

           I laughed and playfully shoved him before asking, “You think I’m sprung?”

           “Hell yeah I think you’re sprung! But there’s nothing wrong with that. I wish you all the luck, man.”

           “Thanks, bruh. I appreciate that.”

           “Shoot, I wish I’d spent time trying to get a girlfriend this semester instead of trying to hook up with random girls. I only got some pussy three times last semester and two times this semester. Other than that, my left hand has been my girlfriend.”

           “Ugh, I didn’t need to know that, El.” I stepped over to my closet to pick out some clothes to wear that night. “If Kendall does give me a chance, I’m gonna have to keep my fingers crossed and hope he doesn’t change his mind once he gets back to Alabama.”

           “He’s from Alabama?”

           “Yeah.”

           “Damn, y’all are gonna have to do the long-distance thing then. You’re heading back to Maryland tomorrow, right?”

           “Yep. I’m hoping that we can make it work over the summer. With FaceTime and everything else, we should be alright. Well, that’s if he gives me a chance.”

           “You can’t worry over it, bruh.”

           “I know but it’s hard not to worry. I really like Kendall.” I made my way over to my bed and sat down before confessing, “I love him.”

           “Whoa. Did you really just use the L-word?” He sat down on my bed beside me and asked, “It’s that serious between y’all?”

           “I don’t think he feels the same way, man. I never put myself out there on the line like this for anybody. Kendall is special though. I think about him all the time.”

           “I was in love once with this girl but she played me. That type of shit hurts, bruh. You gotta be ready for the pain.”

           “Kendall’s not playing me.”

           “How can you be so sure?”

           “I just know he isn’t. Besides, he’s not the type to play with somebody’s feelings. He’s too good for that.”

           “Either way, just know that I’m always here for you to talk to. I know we’ll be moving out tomorrow and you’ll be going back to Maryland and I’ll be going back to Ohio, but we’re still boys and I got your back.”

           “Thanks, El.” I smiled and revealed, “When we first moved in here last semester, I thought you were gonna be this jerk especially since you’re straight; but you turned out to be one of my closest friends here at Richland U. I couldn’t have been more wrong.”

           He laughed and admitted, “I still have a hard time believing you’re gay to be honest with you. I had zero gay friends back in Cleveland, at least not that I knew of. I learned a lot from you this year, Brendan. I mean, I was never homophobic or anything but now I feel like I have a real brother. I always wanted a brother since I grew up with five sisters.”

           “Wow, thanks man. You’re like my brother, too.” We did our special handshake and then shared a quick hug before standing from my bed at the same time. “I need to get ready for my date.”

           “Alright, man. I’m gonna go hit up the arcade at the student activity center.

           “Okay, later.” I waited until he left before I pulled out my phone and texted Kendall, telling him that I couldn’t wait to see him. He replied back immediately with a text full of smiling and kissing emojis.

           “That movie was weird,” Kendall said to me as we left the theater. “Did you get the ending?”

           “No,” I replied. “I don’t think anyone did.”

           He grabbed my hand and asked, “Did you get us a third Uber driver to take us back to campus?”

           “Nah, I was thinking maybe we could take the bus back.”

           “The bus? My parents are going to be here at ten.”

           “We’ll make it back to campus on time, baby. I just wanted to spend a little extra time with you.”

           “Brendan…”

           “Before you say what you gotta say, just hear me out for a second.” We made it to the bus stop and sat down on the bench under the awning. I looked into his eyes and told him, “Kendall, I love you. I haven’t said that to anybody outside of my family before so believe me when I tell you it’s real. I’ve never met anyone like you before. Baby, I would never do anything to hurt you. You may be in love with that Terrell guy but he obviously doesn’t love you if he can’t keep his dick in his pants for you.”

           “And you would keep your dick in your pants for me?”

           “I promise you I will. I’ll even get my license this summer so that I can drive to see you down in Alabama.”

           “Brendan, I don’t know. I have so much history with Terrell. He’s waiting on me in Alabama.”

           “So, you’re gonna go back to him and let him hurt you again?”

           “No, maybe he’ll be different this time.”

           “How many times have you told yourself that? How many chances have you given him only for him to turn around and fuck someone else? I understand you got history with him and that he’s your first, but if the thing you got with him was so solid then you never would’ve let me in. You would’ve kept my ass in the friend zone. Tell me I’m wrong.”

           He stared into my eyes and told me, “You’re right, baby. You’re absolutely right. I love Terrell but I deserve better than how he’s been treating me.” He pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

           “What are you doing?”

           “Something I should’ve done a long time ago.” He put the phone on speakerphone.

           It rang a few times before a dude answered on the other end, “Wassup, baby.”

           “Terrell, I need to talk to you really quick.”

           “Go ahead, I’m listenin’.”

           “It’s not going to work out. I know I told you we could talk when I got back to Alabama but I’ve changed my mind.”

           “What? Kendall…”

           “No, I’ve made up my mind. I have given you so many opportunities to do right by me and it’s been damn near five years and you haven’t changed since we were fourteen. You yell at me and you fuck around with other boys. I’m just done with it.”

           “Wow, so you’re gonna let them college faggot ass friends of yours get in your head and turn you against me? I knew this shit was gonna happen.”

           “This ain’t about my friends. This is about me and you, and we’re over. I deserve better than this shit. I’ve found better.”

           “You cheatin’ on me?”

           “It’s not cheating because I’m breaking up with you. I should’ve said this during spring break. I love you but I know it’s just not going to work between us anymore. I’m moving on.”

           “Well fuck you then you raggedy ass bitch! You can’t take dick no way, you never could take mine! The new nigga must have a small ass dick for your lame ass!”

           I snatched the phone from Kendall and shouted, “Fuck you, nigga! I’ll come to Alabama and fuck you up, you fake ass Travis Scott lookin’ ass nigga!” I hung up on him and handed Kendall his phone back.

           Kendall laughed and told me, “Thank you.”

           “I wasn’t gonna let that idiot call you out your name like that without putting his ass in check.”

           “No, thank you for helping me realize how dumb I was being. Brendan, I’m sorry for taking this long to make up my mind. You’re so right, I deserve better and you’re better for me.”

           My eyes lit up and I asked, “You mean it?”

           “Yes. I’ll be honest, I’m not in love with you yet but I do care about you and your feelings. It’s going to take me some time to see you as more than just my friend. And you don’t have to get your license and drive to Alabama to see me. I promise you that I will not even talk to Terrell when I get home. I’m blocking him on all my social media accounts and I’m blocking his number. As a matter of fact…” He got on his phone and quickly blocked Terrell’s number.

           The bus showed up and we caught it back to campus. We arrived a few minutes before his parents got there to pick him up. I helped him take his stuff down from his dorm to his dad’s car, and he introduced me to his parents as his boyfriend. They were both nice to me and his dad even shook my hand. After giving Kendall a hug and a kiss, I watched as he climbed into the car with his parents and left. I then walked back to my dorm. Elvin was there lying on his bed while looking at something on his phone.

           “How did it go?” he asked me.

           “Better than I thought it would,” I told him with a smile. “I hope the summer goes by fast because I can’t wait to be back here on-campus with my boyfriend.”

[Disclaimer]: Pictures used do not reflect the sexuality or personality of people in the pictures. They only serve as visual examples of the characters.

© D.A. Morrison 2017