#as a theatre tech i am sobbing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jeogiyall · 4 years

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𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞; 𝒎.𝒕𝒍

✪︎︎ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 𝟷𝟶.𝟺𝟺𝚔 (𝚜𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚊 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚕)

✪ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍, 𝗆𝗎𝗌𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗋𝖾! 𝖺𝗎; 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘅 𝗺𝗼𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗮𝗲𝗶𝗹 <3

✪︎︎ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖼𝗎𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝖺 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍, 𝗅𝖾𝗌 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝖾𝗋𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾𝗌 𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗂𝗅𝖾𝗋𝗌 (𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍)

✪︎︎ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ: 𝗅𝖾𝗌 𝗆𝗂𝗌! 𝖺𝗎, 𝗌𝗅𝗈𝗐 𝖻𝗎𝗋𝗇 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾, 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌! 𝗁𝖺𝖾𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇 + 𝗃𝖺𝖾𝗁𝗒𝗎𝗇, 𝖿𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗅𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌, 𝗐𝗂𝗇𝗐𝗂𝗇, 𝗑𝗂𝖺𝗈𝗃𝗎𝗇, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝖺𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗋𝖾 𝗄𝗂𝖽𝗌.

✪︎︎ᴀ/ɴ: 𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗋𝖾 𝗄𝗂𝖽 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗂𝗌 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗉𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗍, 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗈 𝖿𝗎𝗇 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾!! 𝗂'𝗏𝖾 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝖺 𝗌𝗆𝖺𝗅𝗅 "𝗀𝗅𝗈𝗌𝗌𝖺𝗋𝗒" 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗆𝗌 𝗎𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗇'𝗍 𝖿𝖺𝗆𝗂𝗅𝗂𝖺𝗋 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗀𝖾. 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝗈𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗶𝘀 𝗍𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝖺 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗍 𝗌𝗒𝗇𝗈𝗉𝗌𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗂𝗍 here, 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝗂𝗍 𝗂𝗌𝗇'𝗍 𝗇𝖾𝖼𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖺𝗋𝗒. 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒!! -𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

Theatre Glossary

Callbacks: Second step of the audition process, almost like a second audition but you focus on a certain character

Blocking: Movement and positioning of actors on stage during a performance

Dance Captain: An actor in the show (typically ensemble) that helps with anything dance related. Can help choreograph some numbers, usually runs dance rehearsals

Stage Manager: A crew member who is in charge of crew as well as everything backstage during a show. Whatever they say is a direct extension of the director

Stage Door: A door where the actors, crew, and staff can enter and exit the theatre

Tech Week: The week leading up to opening where the cast and crew do the full show each day in full costumes and makeup. It is extremely physically and mentally challenging and you can often end up at the theatre for 6+ hours

“Thank You Five”: Whenever the stage manager gives a direction back stage, actors should reply with “Thank you (direction given.)” This is to let the stage manager know that you heard their direction

Mic Check: Before the show each actor that uses a microphone will get the levels and placement on them checked

Notes: After a performance or rehearsal the director will give commentary (critiques or praises) to the actors

—

Ever since you were a little girl, bouncing in the velvet seats of your city’s theater while watching Les Miserables, it was your dream to play Cosette. From the lilting notes of ‘In My Life’ to her character that leapt from the countless pages of the book, the character (and show) took over your brain. It was a genuine miracle that your parents hadn’t hidden your copy of the cast recording, or that your best friend (Lee Donghyuck) didn’t duct tape your mouth when you’d go to his house after voice lessons and force him to listen to you sing ‘Castle on A Cloud’ with countless different interpretations.

After years of being obsessed with the show, you felt that it was a sign when your youth theatre announced the summer musical. An email with Les Miserables in huge red, white, and blue letters. It was challenging to not get your hopes up, even throughout callbacks. Even as the director tested different boys and kept you on to read for Cosette, you forced yourself to swallow the thoughts of ‘It’s me!’. When the cast list was finally posted you had to force your hands to quit shaking... Then made Haechan open it because your will didn’t work.

”Why are you even nervous, you know you got the part.” He grumbled, fishing through his pants pocket and trying not to throw up.

“The same reason you’re nervous, now open the damn list”

“I’m going as fast as I can!” If it weren’t for his panic, you’re sure he would’ve slapped you, “Okay, I have it.”

“Give it to me straight, Doc.” He rolled his eyes and scrolled, undoubtedly skipping past a lengthy message from your director.

“You are such a dork,” It was easy to tell how nervous he was, so you bit the side of your cheek and allowed him to read, “okay. Xiaojun is Valjean, Jaehyun is Javert..” You nod with your jaw clenched, twiddling your hands where they sit in your lap.

“That’s good, they’ll be good in that.” He nodded in agreement, swallowing hard.

“Yea, they will. Lucas is Thenardier, that’ll be funny.” It was becoming increasingly harder to speak, so you hummed an answer and hoped that he understood what you’re trying to say, “Oh no!” he groaned, causing your heartbeat to falter in it’s place.

“What?!”

“The girl who got Cosette! She’s so annoying, but also really talented. As well as hardworking, and she’s wanted to play this role for forever, and-” Realization slowly sunk into the lines of your face as you slapped your best friends arm.

“Shut up!” He started laughing, something huge and sparkly forming in the space between your bodies.

“She’s also my best friend, so...” It was impossible to not hug someone in that moment, so you threw your arms around Hyuck’s shoulders and hoped that he didn’t notice the shake of your shoulders, “Are you crying?”

“No...” You had sobbed into his shoulder while fat tears were fall onto his cotton t-shirt, “A little bit.” He laughed, a sound that’s familiar and comforting and wraps you up like a blanket.

“I’m proud of you.” Hyuck breathed, squeezing your body tightly.

“Thank you, me too.” The smile when you pulled away was beaming, soaring as high as your full heart.

Playing Cosette was everything you’d ever dreamed, except for two tiny things. For starters, there was the wig. Of course you knew that you’d have to wear a wig, almost everyone who plays Cosette has to wear a wig. You just weren’t expecting yours to be so... Ugly.

It was a nearly five pound mop of thick blonde curls, that would spend every single rehearsal tickling the back of your neck. It didn’t help that you were still a little confused on how to put it on, which caused the terrifying object to slip and slide around constantly. Pretty much at any chance it could get. The first time Xiaojun saw it happen he laughed so hard that he cried.

(”Xaiojun!” You had whined, trying desperately to straighten the blonde rat tail on your head.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry I was just trying t-to sing at you a-and your wig-”

Needless to say, the most that came out of that rehearsal were some cursed images of your wig mishaps and one scene being blocked.)

The second, and much more pressing, issue was your love interest. Moon Taeil was a newcomer to your theatre company, but no one was shocked when he got Marius. His voice is technically perfect, you and Xiaojun had analyzed every note of his audition while waiting for the cast list. There was not a single flaw, then when you factored in his emotion... Any director would be lucky to have him in a show.

Based just on his callback, you figured working with him would be a dream. It was for the most part; he came in already memorized every single rehearsal and his voice was just immaculate. His chemistry was stunning... With every one else.

Maybe it’s because you’re spoiled with your lists of love interests, which consists entirely of your closest friends, but you just could not get used to Taeil. It was clear he felt the same way, causing all of your blocked scenes to be stiff as a board.

(”He’s not like that with Donghyuck! Why is Marius more in love with Enjorlas than Cosette?!” You lamented during an after rehearsal Sheetz run. Donghyuck had rolled his eyes while snatching Sichengs milkshake out of his hands.

“Hyuck, I have literally never hated a person more-”

“Stop whining, we’re talking about (y/n)!” He quipped, passing the drink back to your peeved dance captain, “It’s probably because he doesn’t have to kiss me, which is a real shame for him.”

“But he also kisses Emily, and they seem fine.” Jaehyun commented while taking his seat next to you. His addition caused you to groan, head sinking into your hands.

“Why can’t I act with my Marius! It’s so awkward and I can’t even get to know him! He just shows up, does the work, and leaves. Which is fine, whatever, but really? That’s it? No Sheetz afterwards? No McDonald’s? Not even a bag of chips from the vending machine outside the auditorium?! How am I supposed to get to know him when he’s just in and out like a ghost, are we even sure that he’s real?!” You’re breathing has turned heavy while your hands are gripping your wig cap braids almost violently, “Also my wig is so ugly and I don’t know how to put it on!”

“What’s wrong with (y/n)?” Lucas whispered, popping a chip into his mouth and chewing slowly while waiting for someone to answer his question.

“She’s having a mental breakdown for no reason.” Sicheng answered, snatching his milkshake back from Jaehyun. You were so busy ranting that you didn’t even notice the theft.

“It’s not for no reason!” You snapped, chin catching on the straw of your drink.

“(Y/n)?” Donghyuck began, eyes wide and sincere, “Shut up and drink your slushie.”)

The scenes were so flat, in fact, that you and Taeil were called for a characterization meeting. Alone. If you thought you and Taeil were awkward on stage, sitting on the leather couches of the green room while waiting to talk about how awful you were together was much worse. Plastering on a smile when your director entered was physically challenging.

“Okay!” She started, dropping files onto the cofee table in front of you, “For the record, you are both doing great. I mean really, love love love the effort. Taeil, you and Donghyuck are just hilarious, and (y/n) and Xiaojun almost made me cry the other day!”

“Thank you!” You both answer simultaneously, Taeil nodding his head while twiddling his thumbs.

“Of course, that being said there are some issues regarding chemistry.” A shiver runs up your perfectly straightened spine, “I just remember at call backs you two were mind blowing together, like seriously. Those voices were made to sing with each other, and your characters were just what I wanted. A true directors dream, so what happened to that?” Your eyes flick to Taeil, internally begging him to speak first. It almost looks like he’s going to, but the words die on his lips, “I know it’s awkward to talk about, but we need to be open if we’re going to make this work.” You look at your Marius one more time, willing him to speak.

“Personally, I think it’s challenging for me because all of the boys who have previously played my love interests were really close friends. Like Jaehyun, I’ve known him since we were in diapers so it wasn’t... Weird, for either of us.” You turn to Taeil, who’s shifting uncomfortably in his seat, “It’s not that I don’t like you or anything, I do! You’re very talented; I just don’t know you, y’know?” From a force of habit, your eyes flick to your director. She’s nodding, ink pen tapping the tip of her nose.

“Okay, Taeil?” She prods after a silence that takes forever. The boy fidgets, one hand coming up to scratch the nape of his neck. For one brief moment you notice how beautiful he is, with his sharp jawline cutting perfectly against his soft cheeks and high cheekbones. His eyes glisten while he thinks, then they flick to you. It makes everything feel red.

“Um, I agree... You’re really sweet, and funny, I just don’t know you. Or anyone, really.” The warmth on your skin dissipates and is replaced with a heavy swirling in your gut. Is it always going to be this hard to make him talk to you?

“Okay,” Your director starts, dropping her pen to the table, “so it sounds like for (y/n) to be more comfortable you have to get to know each other, and for Taeil to be more comfortable you need to get used to the environment; nod if I’m right.” Taeil looks at you with the same expression of a deer in headlights, but you’re used to this form of communication. He watches as you nod, then follows timidly, “Alright, I have an assignment. I want you two to go on a date.”

Let’s just say, if you thought your ego wasn’t damaged by having to do this meeting it was definitely damaged by Taeil’s incredulous sputtering.

“Excuse me?” He asked, cheeks flushing beet red. You bit off the hangnail on your thumb, stomach churning again.

“I don’t think she means a real date.” You muttered, embarrassment threatening your cheeks.

“You’re right, (y/n), I don’t. I just mean that I need you two to go out somewhere, sit down, and get to know each other. Not as Marius and Cosette, but as Taeil and (y/n), okay?” You nod eagerly despite the redness flushing your face, because you’re a directors pet first. Taeil is a little (read: a lot) more reserved.

“Okay, we can go after next weeks act one vocal run through?” You suggest. He smiles, it’s the same one he uses while acting.

“Yea, I’ll drive.” You want to tell him that he doesn’t have to look so scared about it. It’s not like you bite.

“Perfect!” Your director sighs, clapping her hands while popping up from her chair, “It’s a date.”

You wish her words sounded less like a threat.

There were few things worse than choreography rehearsals. One thing was choreography rehearsals lead by Dong Sicheng. Especially when they happened on Haechan’s (more commonly known as your ride) sick day. Even worse? Having to wear a blonde rat tail on your head.

“I’m really sorry (y/n), I just can’t even-” His words were cut off by the sound of him retching, you prayed that it was into a toilet, “Yea. That.” You chewed anxiously on your thumb nail, eyes tracking to the slowly dwindling parking lot.

“Don’t even worry about it, I’ll bring by some soup tonight.” You could hear his mom ushering him back into his bed, “Okay?”

“Sounds good.” He groans out, making an ‘oomf’ sound as he drops into his bed, “I gotta go before I get something gross on my phone. Love you.”

“Love you too, bye bye!” As you dropped your phone back into the rehearsal bag slung across your shoulder rain started to drizzle outside. It wasn’t a long walk from the theater to your house, and if you ran there was a small chance of actually getting wet (you had learned this with Donghyuck and Jaehyun back in middle school, after many unfortunate weather days.) You could always wait until the stage crew is done and see if one of your friends was on today, but the rain was already turning from drizzle to downpour. Besides, it felt wrong to talk to someone just because you needed a ride; running would be perfectly fine.

“Who were you talking to?” A voice asked. You yelped, whipping around to see black hair and soft cheeks.

“Oh, Taeil!” Your voice comes out so fake that it makes you cringe, “It was just Donghyuck, he’s sick so I’m here. Why are you still here?” He shoves his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants, eyeing the rain where it falls behind you.

“I was talking with Henderey. He’s stage manager, do you know him?” Slight irritation itches the back of your neck.

“Of course.” He swallows roughly, hands briefly coming out of his pockets to brush through his hair.

“Oh, well our dads are friends. So...” Silence settles awkwardly in the room, so thick that you could spread it on toast, “So if Donghyck’s not here how are you getting home? Doesn’t he usually take you?” A sigh escapes your lip as you turn around again, noticing the rain that’s beginning to come down in sheets.

“He does, I think I’m just gonna... Walk?” Taeil’s face twisted, jaw going slack while his eyebrows furrowed.

“Y-you know I can’t let you do that, right?” A small laugh bubbles in your throat as you suddenly understand why he’s the perfect fit for Marius. The only word that can be used to describe Taeil in this moment (other than awkward) would be pretty. His lips are puffy and twisted with concern, soft cheeks pulling downwards with a frown. He’s pure lover boy material, which makes you even more frustrated that you can’t act with him.

“It’s fine, you clearly don’t want to be around me. Or go out with me, and if I run-”

“Hold on,” he interrupts, taking a step closer to you, “who said that?” a blush rises all the up to your ears, you almost move to cover them.

“Well, you didn’t say it but-”

“ME?!” His eyebrows are raised, they’re so perfect that you wonder if he’s ever had them done.

“Yes! Last week, you all but spat on yourself at the idea of going out with me. I mean you don’t have to get married to me or anything, but seriously? Is it that revolting?” His cheeks are the color of the daylilies that bloom in your front yard. Running in the rain doesn’t sound too bad at this point.

“I didn’t mean- it wasn’t like th- I just don’t know you!” For some reason those five words are what make the pot in your brain boil over.

“I don’t know you either! You aren’t the only uncomfortable one!” His expression is softening, it makes you want to scream... Or cry, “I don’t know you, anything about you! I try to joke around backstage, ask about your favorite shows, I even gave you permission to make fun of my wig! I won’t even let Donghyuck do that! You literally just won’t talk to me, so it’s safe to assume you don’t like me very much. Which is whatever, that’s all up to you, but you have to work with me! Which means you have to not, oh I don’t know, spit on yourself when the director says we have to do something together!” The expression of concern on Taeil’s face had twisted into one of sadness. It was unbelievable to you that he was sad, you were the offended one! With a frustrated sigh, you turn to the glass doors and brace yourself for the rain.

“Wait!” He calls out. You turn back around to see that he’s taken a step closer to you, one arm outreached as if he wants to touch you. Something flips in your stomach, “I’m really sorry. And I promise it’s not like that, I do like you.”

“Sure have a funny way of showing it.” You mumble, arms folding across your chest. He froze for a moment, lips forming a straight line on his face.

“I know, I’m sorry. Let me drive you home and make it up to you?” You’re about to say no when thunder booms outside, “I’ll even pull up and get you.”

“Does your car have seat warmers?” A smile starts cracking at the corner of his lips, you can’t tell if it’s endearing or infuriating.

“Yes.”

“Okay, fine. I’m still upset though!” The smile finally spreads, it looks like sun rolling over hills. He nods and moves past you.

“Noted.”

The moment you decided that Taeil was okay (probably more than that) was when you were sitting in his mom van underneath the cover of a Kangaroo gas station while listening to your musical theatre playlist. He was eating sour patch kids and sipping on a mountain dew while laughing at your answers to ‘twenty’ questions (twenty in quotations because in reality the two of you had far surpassed that number. It had been almost an hour of asking questions back and forth while chewing on gummy candy.)

“Okay... What’s the best role you’ve had?” You ask, stomach fluttering at the way his face lights up.

“Other than Marius,” He playfully sticks his tongue out at you, causing a giggle to bubble in your throat, “Tulsa in Gypsy. That was super fun.”

“You can tap?” You ask, shooting up out of your seat. He chuckles, stealing a gummy worm from the bag in your lap.

“Is that your question or...”

“No! Don’t count that; and stop taking my worms!” He laughs again as you protectively cradle the colorful bag.

“What’s your best role? And yes, I can tap.” You mull it over for a second, sucking on the red and blue candy in your mouth.

“Probably Sarah Brown in Guys and Dolls, that was really fun. I got to do it with Jaehyun, too, so that was nice. My turn?” He nods while taking a long sip from his green can, “Okay, what’s your favorite musical?”

“Oklahoma.” He answers definitely. It makes you want to gag.

“Why?!” He answers with a ‘tsk’ sound, wagging an index finger towards you.

“It’s not your turn anymore.” He shoves a clump of blue sour patch kids into his mouth before continuing, “What do you think is the best movie musical?”

“Easy, Mama Mia. And swallow before you talk.” He smiles, poking one blue blob in between his teeth, “Why Oklahoma?” He sighs, plopping back into the drivers seat.

“It was my moms favorite.” His voice has taken on a softer tone, it makes you want to turn down the music.

“Permission to pry?” He looks towards you with glassy eyes, then nods, “Was?”

“Yea.” He breathes out, head tilting backwards. The motion exposes the elegant lines of his throat (it takes everything in you to not stare,) “Was, she passed when I was nine. Stomach cancer. I started theatre pretty soon after that.” Your heart softens at his words.

“I’m sorry, I had no idea.” He locks eyes with you and grins.

“Don’t you dare go and forgive me because I have a dead mom!” The strict words make you bust out in laughter,doubling over so quickly that you almost push his drink out of the cup holder. He chuckles too, pushing playfully at your shoulder, “Come on, sit up.”

“That isn’t why I’m forgiving you.” You answer through laughter, placing a hand on his arm, “I’m forgiving you because you’re actually really funny, and kind, and... You’re like a pomegranate person. They seem so ‘meh’ on the outside, then you have to work really really hard to open it up, but once you do it’s worth all of it.”

“Thank you, I think?” He chuckles, putting his free hand on top of yours, “Did you just call me ugly?” The laugh that comes out of you is so aggressive that it could be classified as a snort. It makes your gut clench.

“No!” You gasp, running one hand across your face, “I was saying that... I’m glad you forced me to let you take me home.” He gives you a soft smile, your ears turn pink.

“Yea, I am too.”

Being part of a theatre company in a small town resulted in two things; a lack of crew and strange traditions. The lack of crew was a direct cause of the lack of people auditioning, but after ten years that was proving to be less of a problem. However, the traditions (thankfully) had still yet to die out. There were countless examples, but amongst your favorite was the pajama sing through.

It started in the very first show, ‘The Little Mermaid’ (you were participating at a ripe eight years old, in the groundbreaking role of ‘Clown fish’.) The girl playing Ariel decided that a pajama party would be fun, someone even brought a waffle maker. You remembered sitting next to Donghyuck in matching onesies and sharing a waffle with whipped cream and strawberries, and so the tradition was born.

(He had laughed his butt off when you got into the car that morning.

“You look ridiculous, it’s perfect!” You wanted to slap him, but in a caring way. On one hand, he made you wear a Mike Wazowski onesie. On the other, you wouldn’t want anyone else to be your Sully.

“Shut up and drive! Also, are you feeling better?” He chuckled again, punching your shoulder the way an older brother would.

“Much, it was just food poisoning. Let’s go!”)

Everyone cheered when you and Hyuck entered the green room with a rusty waffle maker and fresh strawberries. It was a heartwarming sight, thirty kids all sitting on the floor of a shabby room with neon green walls dressed in over the top fuzzy pajamas.

“Where’s the waffles?” Jaehyun called out from across the room. He wore a black cotton shirt with fuzzy plaid pants, an outfit that fondly reminded you of your middle school sleepovers.

“Will you get your bag off the counter please?” He stuck his tongue out at you, slinging the leather satchel over his shoulder. You smiled sweetly at him then immediately got to work setting the machine up, “Sicheng should be here soon with the batter.”

“Um, why are we all in pajamas?” A voice asked from the door, one that you quickly recognized to be Taeil. He was in a white t-shirt tucked into a well fitted pair of jean shorts. all tied together with a brown leather belt.

“Did no one tell him?” Jaehyun whispers, the room falling quiet. Everyone’s staring at him, it almost makes you embarrassed.

“Um, we always wear pajamas to sing through’s. I guess no one told you, but don’t worry! I brought extras!” You walk towards the door, grabbing his arm as you pass by, “Did Hendery really not tell you?”

“Guess not, it’s weird to have everyone stare at you for not going out in pajamas.” His face when he makes a joke is so pure, particularly the way he softly laughs to himself. You make a point to laugh as well.

“Yea, it’s a tradition that we started at the first sing through. It’s always fun, kind of like a movie night. We’re parked this way.” You pull him towards the stage door.

“Aren’t we supposed to not use this door?” You scoff and push it open.

“No one follows that rule, also the pj’s are Hyuck’s. They should fit fine, if anything just a little long-”

“Okay you can call me annoying, or rude, or say that I have the personality of a door knob. But if you start calling me short I won’t hesitate to dropkick you.” A laugh escapes your mouth, coming out bubbly and kind. Like something you’d share with a friend.

“Relax! I wasn’t calling you... The s-word. I was just saying, Hyuck is a little bit tall-” He slaps your shoulder as you move towards your friends silver car.

“Not another word!” He punctuates each word with a short slap to your bicep, it makes you giggle.

“Okay, okay! I call mercy!” You laugh out while retrieving the fuzzy pajamas from Hyuck’s car, “Here you are, one pair of pj’s!” When you turn around to hand them off he’s standing just a little bit closer than before, you can almost feel his breath.

“Thank you,” He sighs, taking the fuzzy green pants and white hoodie into his hands, “I guess we’re not going to a restaurant after this?” You laugh again, softly pushing his shoulder.

“Are you trying to say my Mike Wazowski onesie isn’t good enough for the public?” He gasps and clenches his chest, perfect eyebrows furrowing.

“(Y/n)! I would nev-” He’s interrupted by the stage door swinging open, Donghyuck poking his head out ever so slightly.

“(Y/n)! Waffles!” You smile widely, like a little kid on Christmas morning. You slam the car door behind you shut and begin moving towards the door.

“Coming!” You sing in response, turning back to motion at Taeil, “Come on, there’s waffles!” You see him smile, something about it looks reserved.

(What you don’t see is the longing glances he cast to you throughout rehearsal, the clench in his gut as you feed Donghyuck the piece of strawberry that had fallen onto his Sully onesie. You don’t see his eyes cast downwards as you nestle into Donghyuck’s side and stay there for the rest of the sing through.)

It turns out Taeil’s plans consisted of eating Taco Bell in the trunk of his mom van while listening to the Mamma Mia cast album. You passed around questions and laughs while stuffing your faces with burritos and chips that were too greasy.

“You really don’t think I would play Harry?” He asks through a mouthful of burrito.

“No, you’re definitely a Sky. Also, swallow before you speak!” He laughs, threatening to fling a piece of lettuce at you, “Don’t you dare!”

“I won’t. You’d probably be Sophie.” You flash him a bright smile, doing an over exaggerated hair flip.

“I think so too.” He rolls his eyes, the sunlight spilling from his car windows highlight a honey colored undertone in his pupils. A part of you wishes you could bottle up this moment and keep it forever, “Permission to pry?”

“Is it about my mom?” He asks knowingly. You nod meekly as he smiles a gentle smile, “Go ahead.”

“Yesterday, when you said that you started theatre soon after your mom passing, was... I don’t know, was there a reason for that?” The words coming out of our mouth feel heavy, threatening to shatter the bubble. You had never worried about shattering a bubble before, but something about the memory of Taeil’s glassy eyes from yesterday makes your stomach clench.

“She was an actress. A really good one too, there’s tons of pictures and stuff. We actually have one cast recording from when she was off Broadway, but I can’t listen to it anymore.” He takes a deep breath, tilting his head back again. You’re starting to think that’s a habit when he talks about his mom, “I did Suessical right after she passed because I wanted to... I don’t know, feel closer to her? I stayed because of the whole family thing, since my family had actually fallen apart. Like, unraveled. Then I found out I was kind of good at it, so here we are.” It’s tempting to reach out and grab his hand, so you do. Your eyes lock as you offer up a gentle smile.

“That’s sweet, I’m sure she’s really proud of you.” He smiles back and breathes out. One strand of black hair swoops over his eyes, you think that he looks like a love story.

“She was a lot like you, actually.” You cock an eyebrow, eliciting a breathy laugh from the sweet boy, “I’m serious! She was so sweet, and funny, and like... Stubborn, but in a quiet kind of way.” Warmth blossoms in your chest.

“I’m glad you think of me that way, does that have anything to with why you wouldn’t talk to me?” He laughs again, unwinding his hand from yours. The answer is hesitant, you choose to believe it’s because he was laughing.

“Sure.”

You stay in the back of his car until the sun sets, wrapped up in the feeling of being with Taeil like it’s a warm bathrobe and you just stepped out of the shower.

“Where to this week?” You ask while bouncing over to the mom van. Taeil smiles, unlocking the door so you can climb in.

“I’m feeling ice cream, so Dairy Queen?” You smile and nod enthusiastically.

“Dairy Queen, absolutely!” He flashes you a smile while settling into the drivers seat, immediately connecting his phone to the aux and flipping through countless cast recordings.

“What are we feeling today? Maybe some Phantom?” When he looks over he’s greeted with a hazy smile, one that’s exclusively reserved for post rehearsal sappiness, “What?” (You pretend to not notice the goofy grin catching on the plane of his face.)

“I’m just really glad that we’re doing this weekly now. It’s almost like we’re friends.” He laughs, punching your shoulder. You think that it feels different than when Hyuck does it.

“We are friends, now text me your order.”

“Where are we headed, Miss?” Taeil questions, mustering up a rancid British accent. You would’ve laughed less if his hair wasn’t stuck to his forehead with sweat. The entire cast had been hoping Sicheng would lighten up on choreography rehearsals as you got closer to show week, but sadly you were all dead wrong.

“How about Dunkin’? I need the caffeine after that torture session.” He smiles widely, you pretend to not notice the bead of sweat that drips down his nose.

“Sounds great, text me-”

“My order, already on it!” He pinches your cheek before putting the car in reverse; you try to ignore how it makes your skin burn for the rest of the day.

“I can’t believe we’re one week away from tech.” You lament while Taeil sinks his teeth into a Five Guys burger. The idea of inhaling fast food while sitting in the back of this boys car would’ve once been so foreign to you, but now it’s a routine, “It feels like just yesterday we were stuttering our way through every scene together while Hyuck roasted me in our group chat.”

“Would he really?” A laughs spills from your mouth, along with a single shred of lettuce from the bite of cheese burger you had just consumed. Taeil immediately points at the spot where it landed on your thigh, laughing along with you, “Swallow! Swallow before you speak! Laugh? Either!” He’s shaking a finger at you, it reminds you of something your father would do.

“Stop! It’s your fault for making me laugh!” You whine, reaching up to grab his still waggling finger, “I swear we’re gonna have to fight!” His laughter has permeated the air, it makes something flutter in your stomach.

“I can’t believe your manners are so bad! Get it together, (y/n)!” He brings his other hand up, but doesn’t get very far before your hands are wrapped around both of his index fingers.

“Keep this up and Marius is going on with eight fingers.” You manage through a laugh, trying not to notice the pink spreading across his high cheek bones. (The same way you tried to not notice the freckle on the shell of his ear, or how his skin looked like honey against his black sweatshirt,) “I’m not kidding!”

“Forgive me for finding a girl who was wearing a blonde pom pom on her head an hour ago less than threatening.” He teases. You pretend that your heart doesn’t clench at his mischievous smirk.

“You’re so lucky that I like you too much to hurt you.”

When Jung Jaehyun moved in down the street you were six years old. It immediately resulted in countless days of riding your bikes up and down the street and stuffing your face with traditional Korean food at his house. Over the years the activities have changed, but the accessibility was always the same.

Which is how you ended up knocking on his front door at midnight exactly eight hours before tech rehearsals were set to begin. He opened the door wearing an expression of concern, as well as a bright green face mask.

“(Y/n)? It’s kinda late, isn’t-”

“I think I’m in love with Taeil.” You blurt out. His jaw drops open, light cracks forming in the green goop on his face, “I don’t really know how it happened, but we have those weekly dates or whatever, and he makes me laugh, a-and I don’t know! He’s just so kind and gentle, so so gentle, and our stage kiss! That, that used to be something just like... Whatever, you know? Like how I’ve kissed you and Hyuck. Just a stage kiss, but with Taeil it leaves chills all over my body! I literally forget my lines, which I’ve never done before! At least not because of a kiss!” Your eyes are wild (though, the fact that you’re donning fuzzy plaid pajama pants and bed head definitely adds to that.)

“Um... I’m not really in a position to talk right now, why don’t you come inside?” You nod, chewing nervously on your lower lip. He ushers you into the house, immediately seating you on the couch with a warm cup of honey tea, “I’m gonna go wash this off, but I promise I will be right back. We can talk then, yea?” You nod shyly, sipping the hot tea as he exits the living room.

The thoughts of Taeil had been dwelling in your head for weeks, causing your romance scenes to flourish. Receiving adamant praise from your director was nice, but you always left the stage with a hole in your chest. A gaping hole that only closes up in the solace of Taeil’s mom van with his eyes trained on you and everything feeling warm.

Jaehyun reenters the room with a clean face, immediately plopping next to you on the couch. His hair is pulled back from his forehead with an elastic headband, causing it to poke out in every direction. You think he looks like an octopus

“The tea’s good.” You breathe, face taking on a tired expression. You think Jaehyun doesn’t notice until he places his ring finger on the space between your eyebrows.

“Relax, we don’t need tech week wrinkles before tech has even started.” You roll your eyes dramatically, running a hand across your face.

“I’ll never forgive Hyuck for teaching you about skin care.” You groan as he playfully punches your shoulder.

“Whereas I am forever grateful. So, Taeil?” You whine like a peeved child at his comment, head falling onto his shoulder. He let’s out a squeaky laugh while pushing you to sit up, “Come on, tell me everything!”

So you do, mouth letting out words faster than you thought was possible. You tell him about the first day he drove you home, how he ate sour patch kids and sang along to Mean Girls. You tell him about taco bell, about how your weekly outings have become almost sacred. Most importantly, you tell Jaehyun about the moment you started to fall. Sitting in the back of Moon Taeil’s car with a mouthful of burrito; ‘She was a lot like you, actually’. It was so certain, so meaningful.

“I don’t know. He just make me feel so calmed, like... Like when we’re together there’s a pink bubble around us, and nothing can penetrate it.” A soft smile has taken on home on your friends face, one of his hands holding his heart as he pouts. It’s maddening how a moment like this with Jaehyun (or with any of your friends) makes you feels so different compared to a moment like this with Taeil. He’s just a boy like the others, but his hand on your thigh would make your head explode.

“That’s really sweet, (y/n). And it seems like he really likes you too.” You groan again, eliciting a warm laugh from your friend, “What? Why’s that bad?” You drag your hands down your face, pulling dramatically on your cheeks.

“Because! I’ve never liked anyone this much before, let alone someone like Taeil! He’s so hardworking, and sweet to everyone. I just don’t know if...” He leans into you, raising one eyebrow.

“You don’t know what?” A lump forms in your throat, you want to vomit.

“I don’t know if I’m good enough.” The words are breathy due to you uselessly fighting back tears. One slides down your cheek, Jaehyun passes you a tissue, “A-and it’s scary because I’m not used to not knowing that, I’m always good enough! But for him, f-for him? He deserves the entire world, and I can’t give him that! I can’t even drive!” Jaehyun laughs softly, pulling you into a comforting hug while patting your back softly.

“Well the driving thing isn’t your fault, or relevant,” A whimper escapes your lips as you cuddle into your friends chest, “And if you two are meant to be then you will be enough. No matter what you have to give physically, if you two really love each other you will always be enough. Now let’s get you home, can’t have Cosette showing up cranky on the first day of tech.” You laugh; it’s a depressing, watery noise. Sitting up, you wipe the tear tracks from your cheeks and inhale snottily.

“No, I guess we can’t. Would be a shame to have a sleepy Javert, too.” He laughs while standing in one swift motion, offering you a hand.

“Yes it would... (Y/n?)” You stand up, stealing one last hug from your kind friend.

“Yes?” You ask while nestled in his arms.

“I love you so much. You’re like my little sister, and I’m really really proud of you.” A sigh leaves your chest, your whole body feeling like a weight’s been lifted.

“Thank you, big bro.” He smiles brightly, “You’re gonna tell everyone about this, aren’t you?” He laughs again, head tilting back. You think of the way Taeil does that, and then you think of the way his laugh sounds (soft and high, almost like how a fairy would laugh.)

“Sweetie, we already knew. We were just waiting for you to admit it.”

1:27 am

Incoming text from; xiaojun <3

‘(Y/N) AND TAEIL SITTIN IN A TREE’

‘K-I-S-S-I-N-G’

1:49 am

Incoming text from; seecheeng

‘thank u for confessing jae owes me $30′

1:52 am

Incoming text from; luke ass

‘AYEEEEEEEEEE’

6:05 am

Incoming text from; donkey yuck <33

‘if u don’t make a move by the end of tech i’ll eat your toes :)’

There were four dressing rooms in your theater, usually divided between principle and ensemble due to the amount of costumes. While the boys and girls were separated, you would freely go between your dressing room and wherever all of your boys were. You were all so familiar that you could come in wearing nothing but a sweatshirt and your spanx. Which is exactly what you did, business as usual.

“Happy t-” Your voice leaves as soon as you see Taeil sitting in front of a mirror with an eyebrow pencil in his hand. He looks at you, and it’s almost comical how quickly his cheeks turn pink, “I’m gonna go put my pants back on.”

(You can hear Hyuck laughing through the walls.)

“Welcome back!” Lucas calls out as you reenter the dressing room, “Happy to see your pants this time.” You shoot him a sleepy glare and plop into the seat next to Donghyuck.

“Will you do my falsies for me?” You ask the boy, already knowing that he’ll agree.

“Yes, but I’m not tying your corset.” A laugh falls from your lips as you pump primer onto the back of your hand. It’s going pretty well until you notice Taeil watching you, eyes trained on your every move. It makes you blush.

“What?” You ask, remnants of laughter settling in your chest. The room is bustling, people arguing over where to put costume pieces, music blaring from Xiaojun’s speaker, Lucas screaming over... Something; but nonetheless you can feel a bubble form around you and Taeil.

“Oh! Nothing, just... Your makeup looks so good. Mine always looks gross.” His eyes are sparkling, along with the teeth that poke from his small smile. You laugh lightly, pushing a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

“Do you want me to do your makeup?” His eyes immediately go wide, the small smile now spreading cheek to cheek. The way he nods like an energetic kid makes your heart clench, “Okay, just let me finish this really quick.” You pack powder onto your forehead, then slide up onto the counter in front of where he’s sitting, “Where’s your foundation?” He reaches behind you to grab the small glass bottle, hand lightly brushing your hip bone in the process. It would be a joke to say the two of you don’t develop blushes redder than a fire engine.

“Um, here!” He shoves the bottle into your hands, driving a wedge between your bodies.

“Thanks.” You sigh, spreading the liquid goop onto the back of your hand, “How are you feeling about your first tech day so far?” The boy smirks, a giggle playing on his lips.

“It’s fun. My favorite part was when you came in without pants.” From across the room Hyuck cackles, causing both you and Taeil to turn and stare.

“Sorry, I agree!” You roll your eyes and return to the former position. The first thing you notice is how smooth Taeil’s skin is, then the solemn expression that it wears. Your eyebrows crinkle while spreading blending foundation into his cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” You ask while moving onto the boys forehead. He shakes his head dismissively, causing you to promptly slap him, “Don’t move your head... Or lie to me.”

“I’m fine!” The boys sighs, a smile finally verging on the edges of his lips, “And I wouldn’t lie to you.” Something clenches inside of your chest, something that let’s you know he’s still not okay. You’re about to push even harder when Xiaojun calls your name from across the room, shouting that it’s your turn to pick the song.

“Anything from Waitress!” You reply while lightly dabbing blush onto Taeil’s cheeks. The bubble is officially popped, but the weight of Taeil’s face in your hands is too comforting for it to matter.

“Five to places!” Hendery calls into the girls dressing room. You (and three ensemble girls) are currently trying to shove your gut into a corset while not damaging the curly blonde wig on top of your head. Yet still, you drone ‘Thank you five’ in response, as if you’re all actually going to be ready by then.

“I got it!” One girl shouts as she fastens the eye and hook on your back, “Okay, breathe in really hard.” You barely have a chance to breathe period before she fastens the ribbons so tight that you see stars.

“Thank you.” You wheeze as she backs away, moving quickly to put on your first dress. It’s a gorgeous thing, with sleeves that puff like clouds and a huge violet silk skirt. The first time you pulled it over your head it felt like you were the same little girl who bounced and cheered in the seats of the Les Mis national tour, like thousands of wishes on stars had come true. You felt the same way now as you gazed into the mirror.

“Where’s your bonnet?” The girl playing Eponine asked, eliciting a curse from your perfectly painted lips.

“I left it in the boys room.” You drop your hands from where they’re adjusting the gown and head for the door. Rushing into the boys dressing room while wearing a dress shaped like a cupcake and character shoes is probably a sight for sore eyes. You actually know that it is, if Xiaojuns aching laughter is anything to judge by.

“Has anyone seen my bon-” The sight of Taeil standing alone in the center of the room with your bonnet twirling on his fingers makes your voice stop. You smile and walk towards him, reveling in the stars in his eyes, “Thank you, I was looking for that.” You say as you take it off the boys fingers. The room is a heavy kind of silent, one that waits for someone to say something, “So are you-”

“We have to stop this.” He states, turning to face you head on. Something clenches in your chest, causing confusion to rise up on your face.

“Stop what, I’m just getting my bonnet-”

“Please don’t do that,” He groans as sadness settles into the lines of his face, “don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. It’ll just drag this out.” He moves to turn away, but you grab him by the shoulder and flip him back to you. There’s no way that he’s getting of this that easily.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, so tell me!” You’re begging, but there’s something snapping in your heart telling you to not care. He sighs deeply, running one hand over his face. It’s infuriating how hard his action makes your stomach flutter.

“This! Th-the feelings! The way that we talk a-and touch, it has to stop.” You feel a lump harden in your throat, but you swallow it down and grip him tighter.

“Why?” He groans, trying again to move away, “No, tell me why? If it’s because you don’t feel how I do then I at least deserve to know!” His eyes go sad, a single tear rolling down his cheek. You want to tell him that it’ll ruin his makeup if he cries now. You want to wipe it away.

“It’s not that, I-I do feel the same. But I can’t, and I shouldn’t, so we have to stop this.” Tears are flowing down his cheeks, you want to cry too. It’s actually becoming hard not to.

“Yes, but why?” Your voice sounds like a sob.

“Because! Because I don’t want to hurt anyone, least of all you, so we have to stop this.” Well, that wasn’t any less confusing than this outburst. You’re about to say something when the door swings open.

“Places!” Hendery calls into the room. Your stomach goes cold at the realization that you still have to do the show.

“Thank you places.” Taeil calls back as you drop his shoulder. He wipes the tears from his cheeks, you want to tell him that he’s going to get foundation on his sleeve. Before he leaves he casts you one last glance with watery eyes, it almost looks like he’s going to apologize. He doesn’t, leaving you standing alone in the middle of the room.

The silence settles heavy again, enveloping you entirely. There’s no sound as you sob, no sound as the overhead microphone turns on, no sound as Hyuck and Lucas enter the room to envelope you in a bone crushing. No sound except for the boiling anger that turns your ears red and the erratic thumping of your heart that leaps into your throat.

You do your makeup and put on your wig in the boys dressing room everyday, yet still manage to avoid talking to Taeil until final dress. It was challenging to say the least, but Hyuck’s terrible jokes and watching Lucas try to do his stage makeup was the perfect distraction from the brick that Taeil left in your gut. Unfortunately, neither of them were here now. Just Xiaojun (who was sitting in the cushy chair by the door with earbuds in,) Taeil (who was buttoning the collar of his ruffled shirt,) and you (who’s shoving all of the hair on your head into a wig cap.)

“You were really good yesterday.” He says, mocha brown eyes moving to where you sit. It’s frustrating how quickly you blush, “Not that you’re not always really good, you are! It’s just-”

“Why are you doing this?” You ask, hands dropping from your head and onto the makeup counter, “First you say that you won’t... Whatever for god knows why, and that’s fine! I’m trying to let that be fine, even though I have to kiss you but it’s not like I’m actually kissing you. It’s fine, it’s fine! Until you start trying to make small talk, that’s just cruel.” You can only imagine how non-threatening you look with all of your hair shoved into a lump on your head, yet he still looks like he’s been scolded.

“Oh, um... I’m sorry.” You turn back to the mirror and pull the wig onto your head, securing it with a huge clump of bobby pins.

“I have to go and get my costume on, I’ll see on stage.” You exit quickly, with something angry, sad, and ugly forming in your stomach.

The feeling of opening night is one that eludes a description. It’s like there’s a pit in your stomach, but the pit is lined with glitter and fireworks. Wonderful and happy and relived, but still anxious.

“Happy opening!” You sing while waltzing into the boys room, wearing a pair of sweatpants over your already fastened corset.

“Happy opening!” They chorus in response. The room is already in perfect chaos, with Hyuck and Lucas doing full fledged reenactments of whatever song comes on shuffle while Jaehyun stands between them and struggles to brush on mascara. You laugh at the scene while settling into a makeup chair.

“How are you feeling?” Xiaojun asks from his seat next to yours. A smile spreads on your face at the question, causing your hands to hiccup while they unpack your makeup bag.

“Excited... Nervous. Happy, but also a little bit sad. Everything, I guess.” He laughs in a way that let’s you know he feels the same, and that he also has no idea how to describe an opening night.

“Everything about sums it up.” He responds with a short laugh, turning in his chair to face the mirror, “I’m really proud of us, you know? Like... You make me cry every night, (y/n), we used to not even be able to get through the death scene without cracking up.” The memory of your wig sliding away from your scalp like a fried egg makes you giggle while you cast a soft smile towards your onstage father. The bright feeling in your stomach turns sour as you see Taeil’s reflection, but you swallow it whole.

“I’m proud of us too, dad.” Your friend visibly cringes, a hearty laugh escaping his smiling lips.

“Nope, nope absolutely hated that!” He whines, pushing you back towards the mirror.

“Aw come on-” You stop talking when Hendery pokes his head into the dressing room, already knowing the exact words he’s about to say.

“Mic check in five!” He calls, the words feeling different than they did the day before.

“Thank you five!” Everyone answers.

It had never been a problem that Taeil’s mic check was done right before yours. Sure, you both had to go back to the dressing room at almost the same time, but it usually never mattered. Xiaojun, Lucas, and Jaehyun were always done far before you and you could find them in the dressing room finishing up their makeup and starting to get in costume. It had never been a problem, until today that is.

You enter the dressing room hoping to immediately jump into a Lucas led dance party. Instead the room is empty except for Taeil, who’s quietly singing while patting blush onto his smooth cheeks. His back goes pin straight when he hears you pick up your makeup bag, moving towards you quickly. His hand comes to rest on your shoulder, it’s frustrating how right it feels.

“(y/n), please just-”

“Taeil, I already told you. I can’t do this.” The expression on his face is one of soft determination, small creases forming next to his pretty eyes.

“I know, I know. I just want you to know that... I love you, (y/n), and I have to tell you why. Can I tell you why?” You can feel him looking at you with a gaze that weighs a thousand pounds, so you nod, “I love you because every time I pass a Taco Bell now I think of your sweet laugh in the back of my car. I love you because whenever I drop you off at your house my car still smells like your perfume for hours. I love you because when you blush it goes up to your ears. I love you because every time that we sing together I think of New Years Eve with my mom, when we’d sing around the piano after dinner. And I know, I shouldn’t do this because you have a boyfriend and that’s just... Wrong, but if I didn’t say this-” Your eyebrows furrow hard at his comment, a boyfriend?

“Who’s my boyfriend?” You ask, causing confusion to rise on the boys face, “Taeil, who’s my boyfriend?”

“I-I thought- Donghyuck?” A hodgepodge of emotions bubbles in your chest. It’s like an elation and confusion sundae, topped with disgust sauce and a cherry.

“Taeil, you beautiful, beautiful idiot! Donghyuck’s not my boyfriend, he’s just my friend!” You exclaim as the boys eyes go wide. You grab his face by the cheeks, then remember that he’s wearing a full face and settle for his shoulders.

“He is?!” You nod excitedly as his confused expression is replaced with realization.

“I’d rather eat my own toes than date Hyuck, he’s an asshole!”

“Yea see you’d say stuff like that and I’d get really confused-”

“Taeil, we’re going to kiss now. Okay?” He nods, bringing his hands to curve around your neck.

“Oh, okay. More than okay-”

The first thing you notice is that his breath tastes like cinnamon. He tastes like cinnamon and clover honey, and you think that you could get addicted to it. You think you are addicted to it. The way that his hands hold your face like it’s a diamond, the way that his soft lips engulf yours, the way that the taste of him has you subconsciously following him while he pulls away. You think that kissing Taeil is one of those things that only takes a taste to make someone addicted.

“I love you, so, so much,” He breathes, foreheads resting against one another. You’ve never felt more in a bubble than you do right now, “I don’t know what to say...”

“So don’t.” You sigh while moving forward, securing his lips in a second kiss. His lips are moving with yours within seconds, his tongue briefly slipping into your mouth. It takes every ounce of your self control to not melt in his hands.

He’s moving his hands down to your waist when the door opens. You don’t even notice, too lost in the weight of Taeil’s mouth and the motion of his hands. You two are completely lost in each other, until Lucas let’s out a high pitched scream.

“Damn it! Hyuck, you won!” He shouts, causing you and Taeil to jump away from each other (and for Taeil to hit his tailbone on the makeup counter. You jokingly offered to ‘kiss it better.’)

“Finally!” Hyuck says, entering the dressing room with an arm slung around Xiaojun’s shoulder.

“It’s only been a week!” You cry defensively, settling into Taeil’s side. You take in his warmth and think to yourself, ‘I could get used to this.’

“We’ve been betting on this since the read through.” Jaehyun states blankly while grabbing his costume from the rack.

“Yea, we were starting to think Sicheng was gonna win with ‘after the show.’” Xiaojun jokes, holding his hand out to silently ask Jaehyun to pass him his first costume, “I’ve already lost, act one sing through.” You laugh brightly, slapping Taeil’s chest with one hand. He’s staring at you like you’re made out of a million dollars, for the first time you can notice it.

“I think after you explain this I might have to dig your grave.” He laughs, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. You decide that you like it when his kisses are gentle, too.

“Yea, probably. Now go get your wig on, cutie.” Your friends gag loudly as you give him a short peck and bounce away over to where your wig sits on the other side of the dressing room. You don’t want it to be any other way.

“You know, the wig actually looks kinda pretty with the whole costume.” Taeil says, pushing an artificial ringlet off of your face. You laugh while rolling your eyes and grabbing his hand.

“Just like how you don’t look stupid in that ruffle shirt?” He smiles in a way that makes his eyes crinkle, you add the sight to a list of things you never want to forget.

“Exactly!” You’re going to kiss him again, but sadly you’re interrupted by Hendery poking his head into the dressing room.

“Places in five!” You suddenly remember that it’s opening night, then you think of how easy it’ll be to portray Cosette’s story tonight.

“Thank you five!” You both respond, Taeil bringing a hand to cradle your jaw.

“I’ve never dreaded leaving a dressing room more.” You whine, giving your boyfriend a sad glance. He smiles in a way that makes your whole body feel warm.

“Don’t worry,” Taeil whispers before pressing a quick kiss to your lips, “we’ll have plenty of time to do this after the show. Now go to your dressing room, I’ll see you onstage.”

Later, during notes, your director says that the first glance between Marius and Cosette was the best one yet. You know it’s because the entire time while cooped up in your dressing room you thought of nothing other than Moon Taeil’s lips on yours.

When the cast list for Grease was posted you were checking out at Sheetz with Taeil. Jaehyun, Xiaojun, Lucas, Sicheng, Hendery, and Donghyuck were quietly waiting for you two at a table, speaking anxiously amongst themselves. Well, until everyone’s phones went off at the same time. The only thing you could make out was someone yelling ‘cast list!’ and Xiaojun dropping his phone face first onto the tile. Along with people harassing Hendery for information.

(”Don’t act like you don’t know!” Lucas accused while offering a hand to Xiaojun who was assessing the damage on his phone. While on the floor.

“I’m telling you, I’m just the five guy!”)

“Here’s your receipt, have a great day!” The cashier chirped while handing the receipt to your boyfriend. There was a knot forming in your stomach as you walked over to your friends table with three bagfuls of snacks, but it released as Taeil put a hand on your shoulder.

“Relax, Sandy.” He whispered into your ear. The words made you blush all the way up to your ears.

“We haven’t seen the list yet Danny!” You quip back, hoping desperately that he didn’t notice your red cheeks. (He noticed, your cheeks got a firm kiss along with a boyish giggle.)

“(y/n)!” Haechan squeals while running over and grabbing you by the shoulders, “Look at the list!” A nervous giggle slips past your lips as you move to grab your phone. You stop when you notice that Taeil’s already on it, turning to face him while inhaling deeply.

“Give it to me straight, Doc.” You deadpan, causing him to let out a breathy laugh.

“Cute.” The way he says it makes you want to explode, “Okay, we’re looking.”

As always, you bit your cheek and nodded along while he read out everyone’s roles. For the next three minutes, the only words that your brain could conjure were ‘mhm’, ‘oh, that’s great!’, and ‘that’ll be fun!’ Other words don’t exist until Taeil gasps dramatically.

“What is it? Is it good, is it bad. You know what? If it’s bad I want Jaehyun tell me, because-”

“It’s good!” He interjects, effectively cutting off your rabbit tail, “We are the cool couple at a made up high school in the fifties!”

“Oh,” You say, heart rate slowing, “that’s good. We’re good!”

“We were already good though, right?”

“No, yes! I just meant like... Good at theatre!” The eclectic bubbling in your chest is making it hard to talk, but the way that your sweet boyfriend is smiling makes it okay.

“Oh, yea. I guess we are.” He smiles a goofy smile, and your stomach does back flips. In that moment it doesn’t matter that you’re in a Sheetz dining room while surrounded by all of your screaming friends, you want to kiss Taeil more than you want to breathe. So you do, effectively forming a perfect and pink bubble around you two. You’re about to pull away for air when Hyuck screams.

(“Get a room!” )

You were all now sitting at the table, everyone talking excitedly about the show and their parts. It was a happy conversation, filled with laughter and remembering Les Mis.

“Remember that terrible wig you had?” Donghyuck starts while shoving a potato chip into his mouth, “You looked like a poodle.”

“I think she looked pretty.” Taeil comments quietly, wrapping an arm around you.

“Aww,” You coo, nestling into the boys side, “thank you honey.” You’re about to kiss his cheek, but then Donghyuck gags dramatically.

“Hey, who do you think’s gonna fall in love this time around?” Sicheng teases while budding into the conversation.

You think that sitting there with everyone is the way that life was intended to be lived.

#Moon Taeil #taeil x reader #taeil imagines #taeil fluff #taeil ff #nct #nct fluff #admin reid #yall this took me forever to write bc id periodically have to get up and sing mt songs #i am WEAK #also i love taeil so much he is prettiest boy #im insanely happy to finally post this pls pls enjoy <3 #the writing tag

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jisungsmochi · 4 years

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shining star - chenle

literally came up with this idea at 2am and just kept writing so i’m posting it bc it’s my first chenle imagine and i am pretty proud of it hehe, hope you all enjoy, idk how long this is but its very fluffy and has some angst in you squint.

prompt(?):

“you have detention?” you question the boy.

“and you’re in a musical?” he strikes back, followed by a small grin.

highschool!au , friends to lovers?, musical themed hehe

————-

“all students who are taking part in the next musical production, please meet in the theatre after school for your first meeting” the announcement over the speakers echoed through the halls and in classrooms.

“imagine being in the school musical” you heard boys behind you tease, followed by obnoxious laughter. you turned around to see who they were, not to your surprise it was chenle, and his group. chenle’s eyes met yours, he saw the expression on your face and instantly stopped smiling.

what a jerk, you thought to yourself.

you turned back around and resumed listening to the lesson, taking down notes before placing a reminder on your phone that you had a meeting for the musical. you weren’t the lead, this time. but you were hoping that in the next production, you will be. you were happy with playing the supporting role, just as long as you had some lines. the musicals at school were a safe haven for you. you were supported by people who had the same passion and the activities your drama teacher allowed you guys to participate in, made you enjoy lessons even more. although most of the school focused on the sporting teams, you were pleased with the theatre group. aside from occasional teasing, such as from chenle and his friends, you adored being in musicals.

“you haven’t handed in your assignment from two weeks ago, despite the extension. i have to put you in detention” your english teacher shook his head in disappointment as chenle groaned. you weren’t sure if he was annoyed or upset that he was in detention. you could never really tell.

your eyes met his again, he immediately broke the contact and made his way back to his seat.

the bell rang, signalling the end of school. your phone dinged with the reminder for the meeting. you rushed to the theatre, placing your bag in the designated spot and focusing on your teacher’s instructions.

“okay, today will be quite an easy day since it is our first meeting. i will be going over the opening scene with the leads so all other crew members, please begin to brainstorm costume ideas and set designs!” your teacher ordered, and immediately everyone dispersed into their designated roles. you decided you were going to read over your lines and highlight them in some pretty pastel colours. you situated yourself near the steps on the stage, legs crossed and focusing on reading.

after a few scenes, you decided to take a break, something caught your sight on your left. you furrowed your eyebrows and followed your senses. before you knew it, you were met with chenle towering over you, with a blank expression on his face.

“what are you doing here?” you spoke.

“what do you think?” he crossed his arms and looked at his feet.

“you have detention?” you questioned the boy.

“and you’re in a musical” he strikes back, followed by a small grin. you couldn’t help but crack a small smile.

“so what? you’re here to help with the sets?” you questioned him further, honestly trying to pass time.

“i’m more of just a stage hand i guess.” he shrugged, finally looking you in the eyes.

it wasn’t like you hated him. you didn’t really hate people. but sometimes, the things he said just got on your nerves.

“are you the lead, in the musical?” he loosened up, standing more comfortably in front of you as you continued this casual conversation.

“um no i’m not. i’m the supporting lead, it’s still something!” you smiled shyly, afraid he might tease you.

“what? you’re not the lead?? and soojin is? but you’re a great singer” his face was contorted in a confused expression.

“how would you know that?” you perked up, while smiling.

“i’ve heard you at the talent show, and you do know that you post singing videos on instagram?” he chuckled softly, making you pout.

“oh right, well i don’t know, maybe she’s just better at acting!” you tried to excuse, but he wasn’t convinced.

“possibly, well um, while we’re talking, do you mind if we just chill during these meetings? until my detention is lifted and all, i literally have no one” chenle proposed, which made you quite flattered that he enjoyed your company.

“oh yeah sure! i’ll teach you about stage directions and stuff, just so you’re not confused and all” you offered, which caused him to smile widely and nod.

“thankyou so much” he held his hands in a prayer pose.

“my pleasure” you laughed before telling him where to move certain objects.

——————

two weeks passed by and you’d say that chenle had picked up the theatre terms pretty quickly.

“you sure you don’t wanna be in the musical?” you joked as he was playing around with the microphone settings.

“oh yeah for sure, can’t believe i missed auditions” he joked in return, shaking his head before handing you the microphone.

“should be good to go” he smiled before giving you a thumbs up. you mouthed a quick ‘thank you’ before facing your teacher. you began singing your duet with the supporting male lead. it was going smoothly until you completely blanked and forgot the next lines. the music automatically stopped,

“y/n! what’s going on? you’ve had 2 weeks to prepare so far” your teacher sounded disappointed and slightly annoyed. you sighed quietly before apologising and running off stage. chenle was about to stop you before you shoved past him, tears leaking from your eyes. he heard your sniffles and ran after you. you stopped running as you left the theatre, backing yourself against the wall. chenle caught up and faced you.

“i can’t do it” you sobbed. your chest was heavy and your breathing was irregular. he noticed and placed a hand on your arm.

“look at me, just calm down first okay? breathe with me. in.... and out” chenle tried his best to help you.

you followed his orders before speaking again.

“i can’t freeze up like that in the real show. i just can’t. i need to keep singing. even if i fuck it up” you sighed to yourself, sliding down the wall to sit on the ground. he copied you and sat next to you, your shoulders touching.

“hey, at least this was rehearsal. you’ve kicked ass, all the way up to now. don’t let this scare you!” he spoke to you in such a lovely manner, it eased your worries.

“i know i know. i just can’t help but feel this way” you look at him. your face stained with tears, but you still gave him a small smile. he wiped some of the tears with his thumbs, before saying,

“let’s cut this rehearsal short. you deserve some ice cream” he pulled you up from the ground and pulled you in for an embrace. you would admit that you had come to a liking of chenle. he was so helpful as a stage hand, and always showed up on time. he always gave you a small thumbs up before you were about to sing, and always waited for you when rehearsal was finished to catch the bus home. you nodded at his offer, grabbing your bag you had placed in your locker and walked out of school with chenle by your side.

—————-

chenle had served his detention, but still remained as a stage hand, in which your teacher didn’t mind as he was genuinely helpful with the props and tech equipment. it was two weeks before opening night. after almost every rehearsal, chenle would be right by your side when going home. the entire time you both had been working together, he hadn’t said one negative thing about musicals. he had become accustomed to the quick paced yet laid back nature of the theatre. but what he wouldn’t admit, is that he enjoyed watching you on stage. you smiled so brightly, you sang like an angel. he couldn’t get enough. his friends often teased him for wanting to remain a stage hand, but he ignored them, knowing it was worth it.

after this particular rehearsal, you ran up to chenle and hugged him tightly. he was taken aback, slowly placing his arms around you and patting your back softly.

“i didn’t make any mistakes today!!” you cheered, pulling away from him, still leaving your hands around his forearm.

“i know! you were great, as usual” he complimented, which made you blush. you shook your head before speaking,

“thankyou for always having my back. i’ll treat you to an early dinner. what do you want?” you offered kindly.

“actually, i have to get back home, but how about, this weekend? we can go out for lunch or something” chenle crossed his fingers in his mind that you would agree. you nodded immediately,

“yeah sure!! message me when you’re free!” you smiled before completely letting go of him and leaving the theatre.

he couldn’t control himself, as he fisted the air and cheered quietly.

————-

saturday afternoon, you had agreed to meet with chenle at your local bowling alley, as the onion rings were to die for there.

you were onto the eighth bowl, chenle leading by 40 points.

“this isn’t fair! you’re too good!” you complain, poking his sides.

“am not! just know where to focus that’s all!” he defends before taking a bite of an onion ring. you giggled before taking your turn.

“here i’ll show you” he came up behind you, helping you position yourself properly.

you felt his fingers touch yours and you couldn’t help but blush.

“okay so you see that middle pin? just try your best to aim there and keep your arm steady!” he looked at you for assurance as you nodded in response. he left your side to watch, as you did exactly what he had said. you both watched as the ball rolled right towards the middle pin, although you did not get a strike you still managed to known down nine pins. you ran over to chenle, arms wide as he embraced you warmly and spun you around shortly.

“did you see that?!” you were ecstatic, he admired your excitement.

“i know!! you’re a pro already” he smiled.

“ah you’re too kind!” you complimented.

on the way back to your house, chenle had been walking close to you, where your shoulder touched and at any moment your fingers would link.

“thank you so much for today!! only a week or so until opening night!! this really helped calm my nerves. i appreciate your support over these past few weeks. i hope we still stay friends after this” you didn’t know why that last sentence felt so uncomfortable to say. you didn’t want to be just friends.

“oh yeah no problem!! you really kept me sane. i’m sorry for talking bad about musicals before, i just never really paid attention to them! you’ll smash it on opening night! i’ll be cheering! and yeah, we will be friends” a part of him felt hurt to finish off that sentence as well.

you gave him one last hug, which lingered for longer than your normal hugs.

“see you next week” you waved before entering your house, watching as he returned the action. what did you get yourself into?

—————-

it was the afternoon of opening night, everyone was running around everywhere. you had just finished the final rehearsal and were currently resting. you sat with chenle outside of the theatre again.

“you nervous?” he questioned, looking over at you.

“a little, i just don’t want to make any mistakes!” you sighed.

“and you won’t! here’s something to make you feel better” he pulled out a small box from his jacket pocket. you raised your eyebrows before opening the box, it was a key ring that had a star hanging from it.

“you didn’t have to get me something oh my god, flowers would have been perfectly fine!” you pulled him closer to you, listening as his laugh filled your ears.

“it’s okay! you deserve it. you’ll still be a star, even if you mess up. you’re such a good performer i can’t stress that enough” he avoided your eyes. you tried to gain his attention again, in which he complied.

“can i tell you something?” your stomach was going so many flips, you couldn’t contain yourself. he nodded slowly, allowing you to continue.

“without you, i would have probably given up by now. thank you for staying by my side. i can’t thank you enough for how nice you’ve been to me. and i think it would be a good time to say that, i really like you. like a lot. like i think about you after every small positive thing that happens to me because you are just such a positive person! and this gift is just so meaningful. you are such an amazing guy, and i hope you like me too” you blurted out , watching as his face became stunned. words refused to leave his mouth. you pouted softly, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“i was going to tell you that i liked you after the musical but you beat me to it. if it weren’t for you, i would have quit being a stage hand after my detention. but i really wanted you to see how amazing you are. i’ve known how amazing you were since the talent show. i was surprised to see that you were a supporting role. you deserve so much more. i admire all of your confidence, and i can’t get enough of you” he spoke with such admiration you began tearing up. you hugged him tightly, refusing to let go, mumbling ‘i like you so much’ in his chest. he softly giggled, “i like you too cutie”.

———

opening night was a success. as the final bows were being taken, you looked over at chenle and ushered him to join you on stage. he quickly shuffled to you and took a bow with the rest of the crew.

“congrats on everything” he whispered to you.

“you’re adorable” you mumbled before placing a quick peck on his cheek. he looked over to you in shock. you were unpredictable, quick witted and he was completely whipped for you.

musicals weren’t so bad after all.

#nct imagines #nct dream imagines #chenle #nct chenle imagine #chenle fluff #chenle fic #chenle imagine #nct dream fic #nct dream fluff #jisungsmochi masterlist #jisungsmochiimagines

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finleyjayne · 4 years

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So this year has been kinda crazy for me. I've been getting this feeling that I should change jobs a lot, then the pandemic hit, and when we came back from the insight panic my boss gave me a raise. I thought I was safe. I thought I would be fine. Then on July fourth, canonically the worst day of my existence since I was like 4, my boss told us that we are closing our doors. We needed to find new jobs. And I was devastated. How could this happen. For the last month, I have existed off of anxiety attacks and crying sessions while pretending to be okay and doing adult things like job searching, applying for colleges, and picking a bloody major that can provide for my future. It has been really hard. But today I have a little win. Today, I recieve an email to start working in the biggest live theatre in my area. True it's not as an actress, or a singer, or a dancer, but i am going to be heading into the stage tech world and I am legit just sobbing tears of happiness. Not only do I get to work in my happy place, I also get a heafty pay raise, and can go back to college at the same time that I am working. Thank you all for being so supportive here, thank you all for providing an environment that has made me be able to get through the last month. Thank you for trying to be good people and for the many of you that have had no idea how much you have helped me in those dark dreary days. You all are amazing and to all my new followers. Welcome. Thank you so very very much.

#personal #you all are great.#i am so happy that I am legit crying #guys this is like basic bitch entry level to my dream job #even though this place is full of drama i am so happy here #yall keep standing up for your beliefs and live each other #loving each other can come in the form of callibg people out on thier shit #don't reblob please

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disasterbialert · 4 years

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Tagged by: the ever-lovely @fan-mari! I don’t really know how many folks are interested in my answers but here they are! Tagging the ever-wonderful @alicehadthoughts and @im-a-dying-seal 💚

Do you make your bed? Yes bc I’m a little persnickety like that. Mostly I just do it out of habit? Not when I was little but I think I might’ve picked it up during uni?

What’s your favourite number? Either 3, 5 or 7 bc I like things in threes and 5 & 7 have hats.

What’s your job? I’m office admin by day, super soft poet by night, and sometimes and MC.

If you could go back to school, would you? I assume this means the US concept of school, like university/college? Not like, high school? If the former, yes I’ll probably go back to do my PHD at some stage. If it’s the latter, no bc high school was hell.

Can you parallel park? Yes hot damn I am a queer who can actually drive well it’s a miracle y’all. (It’s I think the only thing I can do rip me.)

A job you had that would surprise people? Uhhh I’m not sure? I don’t know if it would be surprising bc no one super knows me here? But I was a lighting and sound rigger and tech for a theatre company in my early uni days.

Do you believe aliens exist? Like, as if in all of time and space, I had the audacity to assume humans were all the universe could come up with??? Yeah, nah. I believe there’s life in all shapes and forms out there.

Can you drive a manual car? Yes, but not extremely well. They make me anxious.

What’s your guilty pleasure? Gonna come back to this when I think of one! Like I’m sure I’ve got loads but I can’t think of any right now?? I’ll just blame *gay panic*.

Tattoos? 3 and counting!

Favourite colour? Green/Blue/Purple.

Favourite type of music? Oh boy. This is the big’un. Where do I even begin? How can I quantify just how fucking much I adore music? My tastes are pretty broad and eclectic so let’s just say that sometimes it’s Mournful Siren Songs™️ and sometimes it’s 2000s Emo/Emily Strange Vibes™️, other times it’s Your (Great) Grandmama’s Gramaphone Greatest Hits™️ or Songs You Physically Cannot NOT Move Your Hips To™️.

Do you like puzzles? Love them, but a bit like the lovely Mariana, I get a little too distracted for them most of the time.

Any phobias? Spiders but I’m definitely getting better.

Favourite childhood sport? Um, I fractured my cheek during a game of stuck in the mud, got a concussion playing football (soccer), broke my hand in a game of dodgeball (bc a bully asshole threw it at my face and I only just deflected it) and didn’t have a huge amount of friends, soooo like, not really any of them? I did enjoy volleyball, though that was high school. I’m super short but apparently pack a solid spike🥰

Do you talk to yourself? All. The. Time. Myself and inanimate objects. A roommate in uni once caught me chatting to our toaster.

What movie do you adore? Spirited Away. I sobbed my heart out the first time I saw it. Chihiro made me brave. Haku and Lin were probably my first loves. (Also omg Mariana we both did Studio Ghibli movies haha!)

Coffee or tea? I’m allergic to coffee! For some reason? But also tea all the way anyway!

First thing you wanted to be growing up? A librarian. Still kinda do to be honest. But like, the librarian with a rare collection of mystical and esoteric artefacts, who regularly vanishes between one stack and the next, and who always appear with the exact book you need right when you need it.

#bee answers #this was super fun!!#thanks mariana 🥰#im sorry it took me so long?! i am an anxious bean #tagged: about me

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angelic-holland · 5 years

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What We Deserve // th x fem!reader college au

request by @jennypizzaholland : Heyy😊 could you write one where tom and the reader are playing truth or dare with some friends and the reader finds out that her boyfriend cheated on her zshe gets really angry and tom is there for here? Then she goes to his house to chill and smut happens? I'm sorry if its too much 😢

Summary: You are at the cast party of the theatre show you and your friend Tom had just finished when you find out something that rips your heart in two. Tom is there to comfort you.

notes: including everything but the smut because I felt like it didn’t really fit. Let me know what you think, like, reblog, comment, and follow for more content.

warnings: mentions of sex, mention of cheating, fluff and angst

word count: 3k

“Alright you guys, my place for the cast party,” Wendy says as you are all lounging in the dressing rooms, finished with strike and waiting for the tech director to let you go.

“Let’s check in with Ben first,” you pipe up, knowing he’d want you to do a once over as Stage Manager to ensure everything was clean and you wouldn’t get charged a cleaning fee by the rental space.

You make your way to the stage, “Ben! Where are you?” You shout, squinting up at the booth.

“Hey! Y/N, we just gotta bring these lights to Kate’s car, it’s a two person job so you can send everyone home. Great work tonight.”

“You too buddy! Wendy’s throwing a party, maybe we’ll see you there?”

“Yeah!” He shouted and you made your way back to the dressing room, almost screaming when Tom jumped out from behind the door to scare you.

“Fuck off Tom,” you laugh, grabbing your backpack, “we’re all set guys, let’s get outta here,” you watch as everyone files out the door, Wendy asking if you’ll be at her place. Tom leans against the wall as you confirm.

“Yeah, just wanna do a quick once over, I’ll see you soon.”

Wendy leaves and you walk through each dressing room, picking up trash that the actors left behind, they always fucking left some mess for you to clean up.

“Tom, are you going to follow me around or are you going to help me clean?” You ask, crossing your arms as Tom grins down at you, grabbing an empty water bottle off the table.

“Here?” He laughs.

“Why didn’t you go with the rest of them?”

“It’s late, didn’t want you walking to Wendy’s on your own.”

“Thanks,” you laugh, tossing the trash out and shutting the green room lights off, grabbing the flowers your boyfriend Luke got for you, to congratulate you on your amazing show.

“You did amazing tonight, can’t recall you missing any cues, except when Jordan forgot his line that cued you but he’s an idiot.”

You giggle, “not so bad yourself Tom, even for a boring show like Three Sisters.”

“Honestly don’t know how I didn’t fall asleep on stage.”

“Kate almost fell asleep in the booth,” you say as you start to head towards Wendy’s place, Tom following alongside you. He was a really nice guy, who you’ve come to be really good friends with throughout the rehearsal process for this show and your fall show.

“Think you wanna do this next year?”

“What? Stage manage?”

“Yeah, theatre.”

“Sure, love it, gives me a break from school, got me a pretty good friend.”

“Me?” He asks, stopping in his tracks and grinning at you.

“Nah, Ben,” you joke, Ben was a friend but nowhere near as close to you as Tom was.

“Rude,” he scoffs as you turn on Wendy’s street.

“Whatevs,” you shrug, “Where the fuck am I gonna put these flowers?”

“They won’t die if you just leave them by your bag at her place during the party.”

“Good idea,” you say, knocking on her door.

She opens, squealing at the two of you and urging you inside.

“Already a little drunk?” You laugh and she nods, holding her red cup high.

You and Tom leave your backpacks in the front entrance, kicking off your shoes too.

“What are you all up to?” You ask as Wendy leads you down the hallway to the combined kitchen and living room.

“Well we’ve got alcohol and mixers here,” she says, pointing at the choices on the counter, “and some of the cast is playing truth or dare in my room, the rest of us are hanging out up here.”

“Truth or dare? Now that could be fun,” Tom laughs, pouring himself and you some sprite.

“I guess? Yeah let’s go check it out,” you say, taking the cup from him. You both preferred not to drink, not a fan of hard liquor. A part of you was still in stage management mode and wanted to make sure everyone was staying safe and feeling okay.

“What up what up?” Tom asks as you both walk into Wendy’s room.

Piper, Diego, Quentin, Sarah, And Rachel were all sitting in a circle on her floor, laughing with red cups in hands.

“Hey!!!” Quentin greets you both and they all shuffle around to make room for the both of you in the circle.

“Hey Tom, truth or dare?” Diego asks.

“Hmmm, dare.”

“I dare you to chug your cup right now.”

He smirks at you and raises his eyebrows at Diego before drinking his entire cup, his face scrunching up in a fake scowl to pretend he’s got actual alcohol in there.

“Dude!” Diego laughs as Tom shows him the empty cup.

“Alright, uhh, Sarah, truth or dare?” Tom asks.

“Dare,” she says.

“I dare you to do a handstand.”

“A HANDSTAND? I’m so drunk right now I don’t know,” she says standing up, stumbling a little bit. You all scoot farther away from her as she prepares herself. She was a dancer, been doing handstands for ages so it wasn’t something she couldn’t do. After successful doing a handstand for a few seconds she plops back down on the floor.

The game goes on for a little bit, as the drink flows between the rest of the group the questions and dares are a little more out there.

“Y/N, truth or dare?” Quentin asks.

“Truth.”

“When’s the last time you had sex?”

You laugh, of course they’d want to know, “uhh end of last week? Right before tech since we’ve spent all our time in the theatre but don’t worry Luke and I will make up for it tomorrow,” you blush, you had planned to spend the day at his dorm, his roommate conveniently gone for the weekend.

“Damn girl get it,” Sarah laughs.

“Truth or dare Tom?”

“Truth.”

“Oh my god y’all are so lame!” Piper moans, “don’t gotta chose truth all the time.”

“This is literally the first time I’ve chosen truth Pipes,” Tom says, rolling his eyes.

“What’s your biggest fear?”

“Probably spiders, Diego, truth or dare?”

“Dare!”

“I dare you to kiss anyone you want right now, with their consent of course,” Tom smirks, looking at you. You both knew that Diego had a huge crush on Quentin, and Quentin liked him too. Maybe they’d finally get their heads out of their asses.

He blushes and looks over at Quentin who’s sitting next to him, blush on his cheeks as well, looking right back.

“Can I, can I kiss you?” Diego asks and Quentin nods, leaning over to quickly kiss Diego before sitting down again.

Sarah is howling with laughter, “finally!”

“What do you mean finally?” Diego asks.

“You two have been dancing around each other, stupid crushes and can’t even articulate how you feel when you’re in THEATRE, you should know how to get your point across.”

“Yeah yeah shut up Sarah,” Diego laughs, “truth or dare Piper?”

“Truth.”

You and Tom look at each other, after she made fun of both of you for choosing truth.

“Who’s the last person you had sex with?”

“Luke,” she slurs, giggling a little.

“Luke?” You ask, brows furrowed, she obviously must mean some other Luke, there’s plenty of Luke's here. Not your Luke, Luke Winters.

“Yeah, like three months ago why?”

You can feel your heart beating faster in your chest.

“Luke Winters?” You hear Tom ask.

“Yes?” Piper asks, sounding confused as to why you’re both questioning it.

You stand up, legs shaking, running out of the room, you can hear Tom following you, people calling after you but you can’t take in what they’re saying.

You rush out of the apartment, you hear Tom tell Wendy you’re not feeling to great and he’ll take you back to your dorm.

“Y/N, wait, come here, you’re gonna get hit by a car! Stop!” Tom shouts, grabbing your shoulder and turning you towards him.

You’re crying, tears running down your face, he pulls you into a hug as you sob.

“Shhh, it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay,” he says, holding you tight.

“I need to, needa talk to him, need to figure this out.”

“Are you sure you want to?” He says as you pull away from him.

“Yes, cause maybe, maybe Piper was lying.”

“Exactly, so why don’t we go back to your dorm, calm down, and talk to him tomorrow morning?”

“No, I need to talk to him now,” you say, pulling out your phone.

“Y/N, you don’t want to do that,” Tom says, taking your phone out of your hands.

“Give it back Tom,” you say, reaching for it but he holds it over his head.

“Y/N, this is a conversation you need to have with him in person.”

“Fine,” you say, stalking off.

“Where are you going?” He says, jogging after you.

“To his dorm!”

“Y/N, come on, it’s late, this can wait.”

“No, no Tom it really can’t.”

“Okay, at least let me come with you, mediate.”

“Fine,” you say, giving up as Tom falls in step beside you, handing you your phone back. You notice that Luke has texted you.

Luke: you were so great tonight, can’t wait to see you tomorrow

You frown, tears welling up in your eyes again. Ignoring him you shove your phone in your pocket and you and Tom walk in silence towards Luke’s dorm.

You get in, waiting for someone else to show up so you can swipe you in, you only have access to your own building.

You make your way to his dorm eventually, knocking on his door. Tom stands to the side, leaning against the wall, watching your demeanor.

You’re shaking, you’ve stopped crying, hands clenched into fists at your sides.

“Y/N, hey!” Luke says, swinging the door open.

“Did you?”

He looks at you confused, you push your way into his dorm room, Tom following behind you.

“Whoa, Tom, hi to you too I guess?” Luke asks, shutting the door, “Y/N, what’s going on?”

“Did you fuck Piper?”

He sighs, nodding.

“What the fuck?!” You scream.

“What do you mean what the fuck?”

“You had SEX WITH SOMEONE, WHILE WE’RE DATING?! AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY?”

“Y/N, we, I, we never said we were like in a closed relationship, I figured you knew that.”

“A CLOSED RELATIONSHIP? AREN’T ALL RELATIONSHIPS CLOSED? WHY WOULD WE HAVE AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP?”

“Because we’re in college? Because nobody stays committed to just one person in college, yeah we’re dating but it’s not like we can’t see other people.”

“Oh, and that’s something you just decided? You decided that our relationship was open without even bothering to, I don’t know, ASK?”

“I thought that was a given.”

“A given? A fucking given?” You’re screaming, you don’t give a fuck if his entire floor hears, if the entire dorm building hears.

“Y/N, let’s talk about this, it doesn’t have to be open if you don’t want it to be.”

Before you realize what you’re doing you’re slapping him, and Tom is dragging you out of his room.

“I don’t want to see you, talk to you, EVER AGAIN ASSHOLE!” you shout as he slams the door, Tom’s arms around your waist, practically carrying you down the hallway.

“Y/N, listen to me, please, calm down, you’re too angry right now,” he says as you try to wiggle out of his grasp. He’s whispering in your ear and you try to calm your breathing as his arm’s loosen their grip.

“He, he, just, I can’t believe him,” you are still seething as you leave his dorm building, Tom’s arm still around your waist, trying to calm you down, rubbing your side and whispering in your ear how everything’s going to be alright, everything will be okay eventually.

He guides you back to his dorm building, you don’t even realize you’re standing in front of his door and not your own until you look up and see the wrong number.

“You don’t want your roommate to see you like this,” he says, unlocking his door.

Everything was happening so fast, you thought you really liked Luke, you weren’t going to say love because you’ve only been together for 7 months but, you wanted him to meet your parents, you wanted to be with him for a long time. You’re still shaking, don’t know whether to scream or cry so you let out a short shriek and break down, sobbing as Tom wraps his arms around you, dropping his backpack and your own on the ground, letting you cry.

“It’s gonna be okay, shh, cry it out, let it out,” he mumbles against your head. He holds you as you cry, until you literally can’t cry anymore and he still holds you as you shake.

“Come on, let’s sit down,” he says, guiding you to his bed.

You sit down, looking at your hands on your lap, trembling.

“You know, he’s a fucking idiot, nobody just decides a relationship is open before talking with their partner,” he says, sitting next to you and holding your hand.

His thumb rubs the skin of your hand, trying to calm you down. He did it often, if you were studying and got anxious, if you were anxious about a cue you were practicing with him. He’d take your hand in his, just holding it, a small comfort. It always worked, and tonight was much the same.

“I don’t, I can’t believe Piper never said anything, never even mentioned it, ‘hey I fucked your boyfriend’.”

“I mean, to be fair she probably thought you knew and just didn’t want to make things awkward.”

“Oh god, his entire fucking dorm heard me didn’t they?”

“So what if they did, he’s an asshole, deserves it.”

“Thanks Tom,” you sigh, laying your head on his shoulder.

“Any day sweetheart.”

Before you can recognize your own movements, you’re turning towards Tom, kissing him. You’re not sure why you’re kissing him. You’re upset, you’re mad at Luke, you sort of want to forget about Luke. He pulls away from you after a few moments, it took everything in him to actually pull away.

“Y/N, you’re not, you’re not in the right headspace, you shouldn’t be kissing me right now. You’re upset about Luke, you don’t want to do something you’ll regret.”

“I wouldn’t regret this.”

“Why don’t you calm down and rest, think about this, about, everything, okay? And if you still wanna kiss me later, you can kiss me then.”

“You’d want to kiss later?”

“Yes but that’s not the point, you can stay here if you want, my roommate’s back home for the weekend.”

“Can I, can we rest together? Can you just hold me?” you ask, staring at him.

“Of course,” he says, “lemme find you something nicer to wear to sleep than those jeans and shirt.”

You nod and he gets up, looking through his drawers and pulling out a few pairs of sweatpants and a t-shirt for you.

“I’m gonna get changed and brush my teeth, you can change here okay? Will you be alright?”

You nod as he hands you his clothes.

You change after he leaves, checking your phone. There’s more than a dozen messages from Luke but you ignore them all and block his number. You’re fucking done.

Tom knocks, “you decent?”

“Yes,” you say, crossing your arms in front of yourself, he gave you one of his university t-shirts, they gave one to everyone when you first got here, all extra large so it was pretty big on you.

He steps back in, “I think I’ve got an extra toothbrush,” he says, rummaging through his bedside table.

“Thanks Tom,” you say as he hands that and the tube of toothpaste to you.

You brush your teeth in the girls bathroom on the floor before making your way back to his room. He’s lounging on his bed, phone in hand. He places it down when you get back, patting the spot next to him. The dorm beds are twin beds, not leaving much room for the both of you so you lay next to him, letting him wrap his arm around your shoulder and pull you into his side, your leg wrapping around his.

“Try to get some rest,” Tom says, kissing your cheek.

And you do, you fall asleep rather quickly. It’s been a long day, it’s incredibly late and you just had your heart torn in two.

Tom however stays awake, thinking about the events that unfolded. Thinking about how you kissed him, thinking about how he wanted to keep kissing you, thinking about how he didn’t want to take advantage of your vulnerability so he stopped. He wanted you to be in the right state of mind while you kissed him, which admittedly was something he thought about often.

****

You woke up to the feeling of Tom’s hand running up and down your arm, drawing circles into your skin.

“Hi,” you smile at him and he smiles back.

“Morning.”

“Morning it is,” you say, relaxing in his arms.

“Have a good sleep?”

“Yes, was nice to forget about all the fuckery that happened last night.”

“Are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah, I guess, I guess I wish we had been more communicative, Luke and I, wish we told each other everything, kinda like you and I, wish he didn’t keep secrets, wish I don’t know, he told me he hooked up with Piper, so I could’ve broken it off three months ago.”

“He doesn’t deserve you.”

“Yeah but what do I deserve? If I’m stupid enough to not even realize he slept with someone else, what the fuck do I deserve?”

“You deserve the goddamn world sweetheart. Wish you would understand that.”

“You’re too good to me.”

“It’s what you deserve.”

“You know, this is cheesy as fuck but maybe that book was right, what was it? The one that says we accept the love we think we deserve? Maybe I went along with Luke because I don’t think I deserve any better.”

“Sweetheart, how can I make you understand you deserve the world?”

“Dunno, gonna take time,” you shrug, laying your head on his chest.

“Well I’m glad that’s something we’ve got.”

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x reader fluffl #tom holland x reader insert #tom holland one shot #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland blurb #tom holland imagine

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idkstark · 5 years

Text

ENDGAME SPOILERS

Please don’t read the following if you haven’t seen the movie, there will be major spoilers!

I just saw the movie and I just wanted to recap/jot down things that happened/stood out to me during the movie! Similar to what I did last year after seeing IW.

Right kiddos, let’s get into it

I honestly thought Tony was fuckign dead on that ship, the fact that Nebula was shaking him n shit?? I was scared outta my mind.

They really just ... killed Thanos within the first ten minutes lmao dfkhdsvgsjdhg. I was not expecting it at all. They cut his left arm off and then decapitated him, it was absolutely wild.

At least Thor aimed for the head

OH and Tony yelling at Steve when he’s back on earth? yo i was looking around at my friends like uh is he ok ?? he needs some milk

As soon as Thanos was like aha yea i destroyed the stones owo I KNEW they were gonna go back in time

Five year time jump? wack. BUT AHHHHHHHH

TONY HAS A DAUGHTER. i cried. Also his new house by the lake? its just to cute im happy for him

Scott’s daughter, Cassie, is a full-grown teen!!!

Thor plays fortnite with korg and miek

he also uhhhhh gained a bit of weight. he isnt doing too well in new Asgard :(

Professor Hulk! smthn that i wasn’t expecting so early on

AHH Carol’s new haircut? that’s some good shit

The time travel was pretty neat

Cap fighting himself, tricking hydra, using Loki’s staff on himself. wild y’all.

tony and steve going back to the 70′s honestly made me cry. peggy was right there in-front of steve, and tony was able to have a conversation with his dad. it was actually wholesome too??

anyway, they get three stones from 2012

nebula and rhodey go to get the power stone. 2014 peter quill is dancing along like he does in the movie, gets knocked out. its quite amusing.

rhodey jumps back but nebula cant bc uh oh!!!! thanos (from a different timeline or smthn) finds out what she’s doing!!

she gets captured

Evil nebula pretends to be future nebula and jumps back to the HQ using her gear

Thor goes back to asgard, talks to his mum, anddd he gets Mjolnir back! so he has both the hammer and Stormbreaker

the soul stone. omg. Nat and Clint were the only two there and they had a small fight over who should be sacrificed. it was like some lion king shit; natasha hanging onto clint whilst dangling from a cliff and letting go. i cried ?? i felt so bad for clint.

He goes back, avengers are like uh oh fuck. but they have all of the stones!

STARK GAUNTLET BABYYYY

banner uses it and snaps back those who were dusted. his arm gets a bit fucked up, but he tolerates it bc he’s in the form of the hulk.

it works! but then evil nebula uses the quantum realm thingy to bring Thanos’ ship to the HQ

immediately sends a bunch of missiles down, i really thought someone would die but thank god everyone was ok

this sets up the final battle ground!

Thor, Cap, and Tony all fight Thanos. They’re getting pretty fucked up. thor drops both of his weapons

dramatic music plays and Mjolnir hits Thanos and flies back around only to land in sTEVE’S HAND!!!!!!

HE’S WORTHY SAKDHSDKFS. The entire theatre cheered

just ???? seeing him wield Mjolnir and use the shield???? holy fuck

Thanos beats them up a bit more and then he calls on his army and like. they all form behind him and it looks like everyone is gonna get fucked up to be quite honest

BUT THEN you hear sam’s voice and u see dr stranges portal!!!

a bunch of portals form and everyone walks out; t’challa, shuri, okoye, their army. the guardians. PETER!! bucky, literally everyone. they all stand behind steve and he says ‘avengers....assemble’ and everyone starts running towards one-another.........poetic cinema

AHH and pepper is there!! she’s rescue!!!

the stark gauntlet is handed to t’challa (by clint) then handed to peter who hands it to carol.

also um. peter saw tony and he started rambling abt wht happened and tony just pulls him in for a hug. it made me cry again

all of the female heroes help carol bring the gauntlet towards Scott, who has his van, so tht they can destroy it or smthn. it had something to do with time travel and the quantum realm skfbsdg

uh oh they don’t get it there

Thanos sees them doing this and makes his army send more missiles down (which does deplete his own army by a large amount)

He’s right beside the gauntlet and so is tony

tony looks at strange who holds up one finger. the one in 14 million

thanos puts the gauntlet on and almost snaps his fingers but he’s stopped by carol.

he removes the power stone and uses it to blast her away, then he puts it back in.

tony grabs his arm before he can snap, thanos shoves him away

i fully thought that was it for the avengers BUT MY BOY TONY!!!!!

Thanos goes to snap but nothing happens. turns out tony somehow transferred them to his own, built-in/nano-tech gauntlet!!!!!!! everyone cheered again y’all.....

he says “I am Iron Man” before snapping his fingers

lmfao thanos and his army turn to dust. by bye purple man.

by this point i was like yall where the fuck is tony he better be ok

yea about that.

I started to sob.

Tony is leaning against some debris and he’s struggling to breathe, right arm all messed up. Everyone rushes over.

Peter starts saying smthn like “come on mr stark, we won. tony please” idk what he said exactly because i was sobbing.

Pepper comes up and says “we’ll be okay. you can rest now” and i, a fool, continued to sob.

he’s staring into the distance and his arc reactor dies.

i was SOBBIng

full on

i didn’t stop crying until the credits rolled

anyway, tony’s funeral.

his ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ reactor is sitting on a bed of flowers that’s floating along the lake in front of his home

everyone is there. the guardians, black panther fam, avengers (minus nat), fury, etc etc.

even Harley from iron man three !! he’s so grown up now D:

Thor joins the guardians and leaves valkyrie to rule new asgard!!

Steve has to go back and return the stones to their rightful timelines but haha he stays there.

he grows old with peggy and they dance in their home. they were married yall!!!

Bucky, sam, and Bruce turn around and see him sitting on a bench a little while away.

same goes up and talks to him

i thought he was pre-serum steve but YIKES he’s old instead

he passes the captain america mantle to sam, i was so happy

there’s a lot i didnt mention but this is long enough as it is sdfgsdjhfg.

this movie just made me cry so much. it was the perfect end to this ten-year journey. i mean i would obviously love if they didnt kill off tony. he’s my favourite character so god damn was it hard to see him go. but it made it that much more emotional. marvel will always remain my favourite franchise of all time, this movie was absolutely everything i wanted yet so much more.

please dont be afraid to dm me about ur thoughts on the movie! cry abt everything with me!! ask questions!!

#avengers endgame #Avengers #avengers spoilers #endgame #endgame spoilers

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akozuheiwa · 5 years

Text

Whumptober Day 3: “Stay With Me”

Yes, it’s the 10th of October. Yes, this is out of order. No, I do not care. Enjoy. I cried.

Tiny Summary: The bounty is gone, so why are bounty hunters still going after Krel?

Trigger Warnings: Character Death

“I’m just saying, I will join theatre if you join theatre.”

“Bold of you to assume Ms. Janeth will give me a part after I butchered Romeo, man.”

With school starting up again in a few weeks, Mom has started on her “extracurriculars look good to colleges" spiel again, and Steve is forced to deal with it. He’s not alone in it, because every time Krel is over he also gets half the brunt of it, so they’ve decided they’re going to find at least one they can do together. Krel has his heart – sorry, core set on theatre. Steve loves acting, don’t get him wrong, but his last experience in high school theatre was back when he was still a massive buttsnack so he doubts Ms. Janeth wants him back.

The sky is gorgeously clear tonight. Stars sparkle above them as they walk,

Krel kicks a rock off the sidewalk. “What is a Romeo? Is it a type of meat?”

“Nah, bro, Romeo is a character,” says Steve. “And I did a terrible job as understudy. Jim never even came to rehearsal and he did better.”

“I think it will be fun,” says Krel.

“We can try, man.” Steve shrugs and shoves his hands in his pockets. “We working on your house more this weekend?”

“Preferably,” says Krel. “I’m hoping for a door soon. A real one.”

“You know you’re more than welcome to move in with us,” says Steve. He nudges the younger boy. “We could get a bunk bed. Always wanted one as a kid. Always got told I didn’t need one, but now that I’ve got a little brother from space...”

Krel laughs. “You don’t know you’re older than me. For all you know, Akiridions age really slowly. I could be hundreds of keltons old for all you know.”

“Please tell me you’re messing with me.”

“Don’t worry, I’m messing with you.”

Steve gives him a good-natured glare. Krel can be a little shit when he wants to, which is usually actually.

“But Aja is a good century older than me, that’s for sure–“

“I am going to literally slap you.”

“Okay, okay!” Krel cackles and ducks away when Steve reaches out to ruffle his hair. Before either of them can say anything else, though, the Akiridion freezes and narrows his eyes. “Did you hear that?”

“No?” Steve hisses. “Hear what?”

On cue, a tall, intimidating creature in full sci-fi get-up jumps out of the bushes and lands in front of them. Krel turns off his transduction and activates his serrator into a sword. Steve mentally curses himself for not bringing his baseball bat. He just had to go and assume they were safe, didn’t he?

“You have got to be kidding me,” says Krel. “What do you want? There’s no more bounty!”

“Oh, I’m sure there are plenty who would pay for your head, princeling,” says the bounty hunter. Steve tries to mentally calculate their odds of survival. With him weaponless and Krel – well, Krel – they’re slim.

“Get lost,” he says as boldly as he can. Krel shoots him a brief look – probably meaning something along the lines of “What are you doing? You don’t have a weapon!” – and Steve ignores him. “You’re not taking him. Not today, not ever.”

The bounty hunter chuckles lowly. “Oh, I don’t plan to take him.”

Before either of them can react, the hunter whips out a high-tech crossbow – wait, seriously? A crossbow? – and shoots a bolt towards them. Steve dives out of the way and Krel throws up his serrator shield – which it passes right through. Krel just barely dodges it, leaving it to stick into a tree and sizzle and burn the bark.

“What the hell?” Steve manages.

“Poison of my own creation,” says the hunter. “Akiridions are near impossible to kill, usually, but with this I can guarantee the princeling won’t be coming back.”

Krel grimaces at the still-smouldering arrow. “Okay. That’s bad news.”

“You think!?” Steve shrieks. New plan. Get the crossbow away from the bounty hunter. Good plan, Steve. He yells out a battle-cry and charges the hunter. To both of their shocks, he manages to tackle him.

“Unhand me, filthy Earthling!”

“DIE, CREEPER!”

They struggle. Steve tries his best to get to the crossbow, but the hunter is stronger than he is so it’s a lot harder than it looks. He mentally begs Krel to get the hell out of here.

Then everything happens, too fast at the same time as in slow motion. The bounty hunter manages to loose another bolt. Steve tries to offset his aim.

Krel screams.

At first – horrified – Steve thinks he’s been hit. It’s over. Krel is going to die and there’s nothing Steve can do to save him. Then he registers the growing, burning pain in his abdomen. He manages a shaky breath and collapses to the side, off the bounty hunter, the shaft of the crossbow bolt jutting out of his torso.

“NO!” Krel shrieks. By the sheer agony in his voice, Steve almost wonders if he was hurt, after all. “STEVE! NO!”

Krel charges, serrator in hand, face pulled in a level of fury Steve has never seen from him before. The fight is short, shorter than Steve might have expected. A Krel fuelled with rage is a terrifying sight. The hunter lays dead on the concrete.

Krel drops to his knees behind Steve.

“Seklos, what do I do?” he asks.

The burning has evolved into a sort of numbness, spreading in spider webs from the injury.

“Doesn’t hurt,” he tells Krel.

This doesn’t help. Tears spill over Krel’s cheeks. He shakes his head. “Hang on, Steve. I’m going to get you help. You’re – you’re going to be okay. I promise.”

Steve isn’t stupid, contrary to popular belief. He knows he’s not going to be okay. Part of him is... kind of sad. There was a lot left he wanted to do. There’s a lot he’s leaving behind. But it’s not Krel. He saved Krel. That’s what matters.

“Don’t cry,” he manages.

“Steve,” Krel sobs.

“You’re going to be okay, bro,” he says. “You’ll be okay.”

“Don’t do this,” Krel begs, his voice breaking and wavering. “Please. Don’t do this.”

It’s getting harder to breathe. There’s a lot Steve wishes he could say, a lot of people he wants to say goodbye to, if he had the time. What will his parents say? Mom and Coach – he hates to leave them. What will his friends say? He hopes they’ll be proud of him. Imagine it. Steve Palchuk, saving someone else’s life. Saving his little brother’s life. Krel’s shoulders tremble with sobs, tears dripping onto Steve’s shirt.

“Love you,” Steve says.

Krel gasps out a choking breathe before managing. “I love you too. Please. Please, don’t go.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve says.

Krel makes a weak, painful cry. It breaks Steve’s heart.

“Stay with me,” he says, feebly lifting a hand – the only hand he can lift right now – to cup Krel's face and wipe away his tears. He knows he doesn’t even have to ask.

“You couldn’t make me leave for the world.” Krel grasps his hand. More shaking sobs wrack his form.

Steve smiles at him. The sky is so clear tonight. The stars remind him of Aja. He hopes she moves on. He hopes Mom and Coach will be okay. They’ll understand. Krel is family. He would do anything for family.

He lets out a breath knowing he won’t take another, and succumbs to darkness under the bright starry sky.

#krel tarron #steve palchuk #brotp #3below #tales of arcadia #whumptober #my writing #toawizards #angst #so much angst #it's sad #i am sad

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dmydfilmreviews · 5 years

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MARVEL MOMENTS

So what they really did, as well as making a good load of films, was actually make a vast tapestry of genius interwoven moments like flicking through a big comic book! Ten years! Twenty something movies! A load of rubbish images at the end of the list because the last three films weren’t officially out on Blu Ray! Avengers assssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Tony Builds the First Suit

Really it was a stroke of brilliance to start the whole shebang with Iron Man the self-made superhero. The backbone of the whole universe is that of Tony making himself and that all kicks off here, in a sequence that’s hugely thematically satisfying given what comes later. There’s also the fact that back in the day all this construction stuff was just fucking cool, a Nolan-lite bedrock for a blend of realism and fantasy that comic-book cinema had never quite nailed before. Seeing Tony improve his tech step-by-step is a quiet pleasure of these movies, the suits getting more and more outlandish but staying absolutely believable, just like the films, and that all kicks off here with one guy and a non-magical hammer.

Pepper Pulls Out Tony’s Heart

I noted these all down before Endgame, honestly. Sob. It was always his story really. The best example of the foundational relationship of the MCU: They finish each other’s sentences!

‘Truth is… I am Iron Man.’

They knew what they’d got from the very first. This ballsy coda sets the tone for the whole MCU, one of backed-up swagger, a willingness to fuck with the source material in the name of story and the general feeling that Robert Downey Jr. was God. All in like two hours. That they flipped the egotistically iconic line into an era-defining declaration of responsibility, growth and heroism a decade later is nothing short of remarkable.

Hulk and Betty in the Rain

It’s uh… it’s a nice comic-book visual of a classic comic book romance, I guess? Look, Hulk came a long way later, but his forgotten love for Betty was the closest they ever came to the source material outside of the Hulk generally smashing and being awesome. It was sweet!

The Bit Where Hulk Suplexes a Giant Zombie Wolf on the Rainbow Bridge of Asgard

wait was this in the Incredible Hulk

I’ve Successfully Privatised World Peace!’ ‘Fuck you, Mr Stark.’

They got Garry Shandling in these movies!

The Suitcase Suit

Now that is a cool-ass adaptation.

Black Widow Kicks Asses

Yeah, after a whole movie of being reductive eye-candy she was still reductive eye-candy here. But the scene as a whole’s basically a perfect realisation of her moves in the comics, and showed Marvel were capable of doing someone who wasn’t Iron Man. Then they did EVERYYYYOONNNNNNEEE bonus points for Happy taking out that one guy and yelling ‘I got him!’

Tony and Rhodey in the Japanese Gardens

Look, they just look cool, OK? No one said this was going to be deep.

Tony and Pepper as the Stark Expo Explodes

They haven’t managed a lot of great romance, but this one hella works: Tony’s overblown mess of a movie expo exploding behind the true love of his life is a visual so great that Shane Black nicked it wholesale for the climax of Iron Man Three: Christmas in Croydon.

The Frost Giant Throwdown

Wait, what’s happening? I thought these were the movies where Jeff Bridges rode a Segway? Are we in SPAAAAACCCCCEEEE?

Thor Can’t Pull It Off

Out of the big three Thor’s arc of mythology to humanity might be the deepest and most satisfying of all. That starts here with his tearful inability to be worthy of his father, his world and, crucially, himself, leading directly into the first great Thor/Loki exchange, then a whole host of movies that eventually put him through the emotional wringer to self-acceptance. Hopefully?

Thor and Loki Battle on the Rainbow Bridge

Yeah, it looks kind of goofy, but this is pure sixties Kirby, shorn of the irony the series would develop later. Beautiful.

Erskine Points To Cap’s Heart

That’s it. That’s the character.

The Star Spangled Man!

Who’ll hang a noose on the goose-stepping goons from Berliiiin?

That Whole War Montage That Ends With Bucky Falling From The Train

Just smash after smash after smash of wartime Cap goodness that we’d never see again, ending with the ‘death’ that’d define the rest of his story. Steve lost as much as Thanos in his quest for peace but, y’know, he wasn’t a total fucking intergalactic dick about it.

‘I gotta put her in the water!’

Man alive he waited for that date... whether you think the ending of Endgame ruins the moment somewhat (it doesn’t. sort of), this was still the biggest heart-tugger in the MCU at that point, and defined the characters of Cap and Peggy for years to come. Watch Agent Carter! Just bloody watch it!

'Lemme Put You On Hold’

The stand out moment of The Avengers is basically all of it, but let’s start with the moment Black Widow finally becomes a character, a sequence of broad-strokes skill from Scarlett Johansson and Joss Whedon that begged for a movie she finally got way too long later. Bonus points for possibly the greatest Coulson reaction shot in a history of great reaction shots.

The Helicarrier Ascends

OK, shit – this is series is big now.

The Whole of Stuttgart

Whedon’s love of classical posh entertainment is seen in Angel’s superior ballet episode and his fondness for Sondheim, and he even gets a bit of the ol’ jewellery rattling in here in a perfectly pitched Loki-loving sequence that culminates in some fantastic bits for Cap before Iron Man AC/DC’s all over the place. This is where the comic book stuff really kicks off.

‘YOU COME HOME!’

This Hemsworth’s fella’s really got something...

Forest Bro Down

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. The first real Avengers mash-up is just wonderful. This is where the wish-fulfilment really begins, in a quiet clearing, where three superheroes nearly beat the shit out of each other in classic comic-book style. The Avengers assembled.

The Whole Fuckin’ Helicarrier Sequence

An absolute masterpiece of blockbuster juggling that had never been done before, this could be the third act of any other film. Over what plays out weirdly like a piece of theatre we get terrifying Hulks, mewling quims and awesome heroics, all expertly laced with wonderful character mash-ups and action we’d never seen before. Then Coulson dies. This is what Joss Whedon does.

‘There was an idea…’

Fuck shit yeah there was, and it made for a hell of an Infinity War trailer six years later.

ALL OF NEW YORK

Yep, all of it, but if we’re being picky it’s Hulk v Loki for the comedy side, the tracking shot for the action. As a sequence it’s never been bettered in the MCU, even in the open-mouthed joy-gush of Infinity War and Endgame. FIGHT ME

Go Fish

Iron Man Three is a wonderful movie that works best as the sum of its parts, but there’s one bit that’s up there with the pantheon: the sky-diving rescue above the bay is such a joyous subversion of the usual third-act super-fisticuffs that it’s like something out of a 70’s Superman movie, only with a hilarious capper at the end where Iron Man explodes under a truck. Beep beep!

Running the Lemurian Star

The Russo Brother’s action calling-card for their incredible MCU run, this sets up their vision of Cap’s super-subtle-super-serum-super-moves. From the off it’s a game changer in the way action’s shot across the MCU, clean-cut raid-alikes becoming the order of the day. AND THEN HE FIGHTS BATROC ZE LEAPER

Elevator Throwdown

Yeah, yeah, we all know the actual bit in the elevator that’s spoofed to tremendous effect come Endgame, but remember this sequence ends with Cap TAKING DOWN A FUCKING QUINJET SINGLE-HANDED. The look on his face at the end says it all.

The Winter Soldier Street Fight

HE FLICKS A KNIFE MID PUNCH

Come and Get Your Love

We’d seen a lot of cool shit from the MCU by this point, but this was something else again. It’s funny! It’s funny as fuck! What the fuck is this movie? And again, they know their own best bits: the return to this in Endgame is top drawer. What a moron.

The Kyln Sequence

This whole breakout is the Guardians at their very best; squabbling in space, reluctant teamwork, loads of cool shit and leg theft. The bit where it all goes anti-grav is a treat.

WE ARE GROOT

That’s it. That’s the movie.

…Stark…

It’s a shame they didn’t delve deeper into Scarlet Witch’s hatred for the man who murdered her parents, but her barely contained rage is the keystone for Age of Ultron: deeper, nastier, more questioning of it’s heroes and their heroism. This one they brought on all by themselves.

Sun’s Gettin’ Real Low

Yeah, maybe it’s for the best the slightly bumbled Hulktasha relationship was forgotten about, but this moment was pivotal in the character development of both. Beautifully shot, and leads to a primo Ragnarok gag.

Lift That Hammer

You genuinely could have made a whole movie of these characters hanging out at an open bar. The Stan cameo’s great, the War Machine story bit gets an Endgame alien planet boost much later, but it’s the drunken worthiness competition that’s the real highlight, a seemingly fun throwaway that actually almost single-handedly sets up the whole character of Vision and the most fist-pumping moment of Endgame, a movie nearly entirely composed of fist-pumping moments.

Hulk vs Hulkbuster

Pure comic-book wish fulfilment again, and how. From Hulk spitting out a tooth to Tony desperately pleading ‘go to sleep go to sleep go to sleep’, this mad clash of science pals knocks every Transformers movie straight through a freshly-bought-building. Veronica!

Well Done.

Alright, Vision’s no one’s favourite Avenger, but he’s one who’s the satisfying product of several movie plots, one beloved supporting AI and the combined brains, magic and cool red capes of his team. Whedon performs his own mad-skillz level script trick to make us accept this fucking weirdo, first by giving him Jarvis’ voice, then having him stare out at a world and see his reflection in it, then having him lift an unliftable character-establishment hammer. None of this could be done by any other film series.

The Geometry of Belief

Ultron’s climactic church-a-maggedon is short but perfect, a swirling mass of splash-page insanity that culminates in a glorious trinity of Vision, Iron Man and Thor blasting the shit out of their mad son like a magic triangle. The Avengers at their peak.

Vision and Ultron Have a Chat

Whedon pops out these gems of detached humanism from time to time, and his sundown final exchange between The Avenger’s success and failure is a doozy. The most poetic little scene in the whole MCU, voiced by two creatures who look like nightmarish dildos. ‘A thing isn’t beautiful because it lasts’ is an all-timer.

Big Bathtub

Ant Man’s bedrock might be its family values, but it’s the shrinking that makes it stand out. The first time Scott drops into tiny-town is a Pixar-esque fun-burst akin to Stephen Strange’s nutso jump into infinity later, with deadly bath taps, thunderclap vacuum cleaners and mid-day apartment raves (?) all bringing a new level of threat and adventure to a series already teeming with variety. They should carry these ones on foreverrrrr

Cassie’s Room

There’s something about this scene that sums up Scott’s whole character and hopefully sets up his daughter for future ant shenanigans: he is (was) unique as a hero with a family, and no matter how many Pym Particles he stuffs into his suit he’s always looked like a giant to his daughter. Plus, y’know, Thomas the Tank Engine.

Some Guy Crashes a Car at Night

The catalyst for the great middle schism. Civil War is a masterclass of twisting, gut-churning reveals, and this is the quiet moment that starts it all.

QUEENS

The perfect Marvel character, introduced into the perfect realisation of the Marvel Universe, perfectly.

Running Into Each Other At The Airport

LITTLE MAN IS BIG NOW I’M CLINT WE HAVEN’T MET YET I DON’T CARE WHERE YOU FROM KID QUEENS BROOKLYN I’M YOUR CONSCIENCE WE HAVEN’T SPOKEN IN A WHILE YOU GUYS KNOW THAT OLD MOVIE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK HOW OLD IS THIS KID ETC ETC OH MY GOD MY BRAIN HAS EXPLODED

Cap vs Iron Man

‘I don’t care. He killed my mom.’

The Big Brain Burst

They keep doing bits to expand themselves, and this is one of the best, with the most potential for the future. Fleeting, but dazzling.

New York Mirror Fest

If the next Strange movies delve into this deranged nonsense then they could end up the greatest of all of them. This is the tip of the iceberg, and it’s still unlike anything else being done in mainstream cinema.

Mr Blue Sky

In a movie that frequently reaches big and misses, at least it hits the spot at the beginning. This glorious celebration of family, space-craziness and genre subversion is everything Guardians does best. The Gamora / Groot bit is adorable.

Peter’s Civil War Adventure

The perfect tone-setter for the story’s most-average joe, this ground-level view of the universe’s biggest clash acts as a whippet quick intro to Peter Parker’s world in the big bad MCU. It’s always a thrill to see him where he belongs.

The Homage to Getting Buried Under a Tonne of Crap

Homecoming’s riffs on classic Spidey-lore are generally pretty subtle, but when it comes time to show what Peter’s really made of Watts rips directly from the best, first with the iconic Parker/Spidey face split and then with him holding up a whole fucking building like he’s nerd Hulk or something. The added ‘come on Spider-Mans’ are the adorable icing on the homage-o-cake.

Anytime That Immigrant Song Plays

Another!

Thor vs Hulk

Yeah, it’s not perfect and it’s a little CGIey. But it’s Thor fighting the Hulk in a fucking galactic gladiator arena place run by Jeff Goldblum and it smashes and it’s full of fun callbacks to previous movies. Yes! That’s what it feels like!

Thor and Loki Do Get Help

The perfect encapsulation of Waititi’s irreverent-but-with-tonnes-of-heart freshgasm on the story of Thor, this bit of hilarious dumb shit acts as amusing action beat and neat character resolution all in one. They’re friends again! They’re brothers! Thor throws him around like a rolled up carpet!

What Are You The God of Again?

Oh right, so he’s the best Avenger now.

Killmonger in the Afterlife

The bloody heart of the most emotional Marvel movie, when Erik Killmonger enters the Wakandan afterlife he finds himself in his own tiny Compton apartment, exiled with his father forever with the plains of eternity just out of reach beyond the window. Heartbreaking, and brilliant.

Thanos Arrives

The opening of Infinity War is another example of their absolute mastery of tone; after the megaton funblast of Ragnarok we’re thrown into the end of that movie being ripped apart, before Thanos appears, dragging a battered Thor into frame, beats seven shades of green shit out the Hulk and murders two beloved supporting characters, all without breaking a sweat. If you weren’t excited before you were now.

New York Tussle

The opening New York section of Infinity War is all very clever, acting as the only grounding Earthy moment in what’s a pretty out-there narrative in terms of existential stakes. You get Tony and Wong helping people off the sidewalk and Strange winking after halting the space-death-machine, but from there on out it’s full-bore comic-book smackdown fun, clashing characters who’ve never met and providing top-drawer banter about wizards and children’s parties. This is the page, up there on screen.

BRING ME THANOS!

The Thanos Fight

Jesus fucking Christ. Up there with the end of Avengers and the Civil War airport battle, this is a perfect realisation of superhero action, with a bigger dose of high-level insanity courtesy of the Infinity Stones and Doctor Strange. Sublimely realised, incredibly satisfying, with real weight and thought put into the spectacle, it’s also fantastic in the narrative of the film, the culmination of its themes of desperation and inevitability. The first time you saw them try to rip off the gauntlet was unbearable.

The Snap

Well, yeah. You’ll never get back the first time you saw this. And imagine seeing it as a fucking kid.#

Just a Girl

Sure the big level-up CGI fest at the end is good, but it’s the comedy smackdown on the Kree ship that’s the most satisfying part of Captain Marvel, the shit-eating joy on Carol’s face as she discovers she’s way more powerful than the assholes who’ve been holding her back. It’s corny sure, but it’s hella fun.

Thor Goes For The Head

Endgame is a shocking, disorientating blur to begin with, all the characters you loved acting in strange, desperate ways in a super-hero version of post-traumatic stress disorder. Tony’s meltdown is bad enough, but it’s when Thor just straight up fucking murders Thanos that you know this is going to get dark and serious. It doesn’t, it remembers it’s a Marvel movie, but the shot of him walking out into the blurred alien sun, cape aflutter, is a fitting goodbye to a more innocent time of heroics.

Ant Man and Cassie

A moment that could be worthy of a whole movie itself, a desperate Scott Lang meeting his five-years-older daughter gives a joke character a serious moment in the same way Infinity War did for Guardians. It’s very odd, very sweet and very Marvel.

Love You 3000

Morgan H. Stark is almost a little too on the nose as a wrap-up for Tony, but hell, she’s still sweet as all hell and a perfect capper to his story of fatherhood and responsibility. It’s a mark of the work they’ve put in that we’ll almost immediately accept the tired trope of kid-taking-over-mantle when she inevitably puts on the armour in a few years.

Steve and Peggy / Tony and Howard

This is the bit in Endgame where I finally started tearing up: a lot of it is too-neat fan-service, but fuck it, they’ve put in so much effort that it works. This is the scene where you realise both of these long arcs are coming to an end, the resolution of Steve quietly making his decision to go back to Peggy and Tony getting the closer of discussing parenthood with his unknowing father. It’s corny sure, but so are comic books, and setting the whole bit at the height of seventies Marvel Comics mania is a loving nod to the imaginations that made all these crazy possibilities possible.

Widow and Hawkeye

There’s a theme here. All of these moments are kind of cheesy and rely heavily on callbacks to previous bits… but at the moment it doesn’t matter because ENDGAME WOW. Maybe we’ll look back at it as a corny misstep, but for the moment, Clint and Tasha having one last, ludicrously overblown tussle for who gets to live is a sweet capper that never goes as deep as the others because they’re supporting characters. It still stings, and it’s a neat mirror to Gamora and Thanos in Infinity War. The red’s gone from her ledger! It’s on the rocks! Urrrgh

Nebula Kills Herself

Again, they’re so good that they can spend a big chunk of time in what’s ostensibly the last big movie for their most beloved characters on making a lesser character beloved. Endgame spotlights Nebula even more than Infinity War did Gamora, using her self-hatred and fear of her father for compelling, wibbly-wobbly plot and character beats. The resolution of her story and her newfound place with her team should make for a whole different Guardians before we even get to Fortnite-Thor joining up.

Cap Wields The Hammer

‘I KNEW IT!’

Thanos’ Army

One last escalation of scale. When Thanos’ army finally arrives it’s like something out of those apocalyptic Turner paintings, where the hordes of a ship-wrecked hell confront eternity under skies ripped from heaven. Only this time they’re facing one guy called Steve, and they’re fucked. Incredible.

Avengers… Assemble

It almost lives up to what you always had in your head. The Marvel Universe, somehow done right.

Tony Hugs Peter Back

Awwww!

New Avengers Run the Gauntlet

A surprising amount of Endgame’s grand finale is given over to the future hopes; while Strange gets stuck in with holding back a Biblical flood it’s up to Black Panther to grab the Infinity Gauntlet from Clint in a delightful callback to Civil War, before embarking on an intense relay race across the entire battlefield that begins with Scarlet Witch crushing the shit out of Thanos’ testicles and ends with Captain Marvel engaging the Mad Titan in a bone-crushing show of super-strength. And along the way if finds time to have Peter Parker dragged through the air by Thor’s hammer which was thrown by Captain America before landing on a Pegasus flown by Valkryie across an exploding sky of alien whales. Maybe the most satisfying run of action since the first Avengers.

I am Iron Man

It was always going to be him really. Bonus points for Downey Jr. originally telling Thanos to ‘Fuck off’. Did anyone else keep thinking he was going to wake up and quip and everything would be OK? That’s how you make movies.

The Funeral

It looks a little weird actually, like they weren’t all on set. But they were! The Marvel Universe again, holy smokes.

The Kiss

Now that’s how you end ten years and twenty one movies. They’re movies! It was romantic! It was exciting! It was fun!

For TEN FUCKING YEARS.

Swing a Ding Ding Sir

After five movies of fresh shit they've finally starting dumping some classic Spider-Man on us; the Euro stuff's fun and all, but it's Far From Home delirious climax that sees Spidey and MJ thwipping through the canyons of New York before bumping into ugly ol' J. Jonah JJ Jay Jay likes it's a freakin' comic book or something. Delightful, and also serves as a wonderful image of hope and joy post-Endgame.

What a fuckin’ ride. Here’s to the next... seventy six? Seventy seven?

wait did I leave any out

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