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holllandtrash · 6 months

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now that we don't talk | charles leclerc

pairing: charles leclerc x reader part 2 to say don't go

so i pay the price of what i lost and what it cost now that we don't talk

word count: 5.6k tags/warnings: slight angst, mentions of being disloyal, this is sad, pato o'ward makes a guest appearance had to rewind a bit because because this is charles' pov during and after the relationship - i promise we'll find the ending eventually

Charles was late to the welcome party in Vegas and maybe that was a blessing in disguise.

He showed up a little after 11pm as he really wasn’t in any sort of rush to make an appearance. This week was going to be a long one already and with the obligations piling on top of each other, he tried to spend the minimum amount of time doing what was required of him.

So on that Wednesday evening, he showed up over three hours after the recommended time of 8pm. Alexandra was with him, Alex as she preferred to be called. The coordinated outfits were her idea and Charles didn’t mind it, but it wasn’t an outfit he would have chosen himself.

But they showed up, hand in hand and Charles found a few members of his team - or rather, Mark found him.

“Did you know Damon Hill and his family are here?” Mark didn’t even start with a greeting. He did smile at Alex, out of politeness, but his interest lied with Charles knowing that the Monegasque driver hadn’t spoken to you in a few months.

“The whole family?” Charles asked with a breath, feeling the tense glance from his girlfriend.

Mark nodded, “Yeah. Yeah they’re all around here somewhere.”

Here being the very large venue dedicated to tonight, to the inaugural Las Vegas Grand Prix. Members from each team, the drivers, invited guests and sponsors, everyone was here tonight.

And apparently, so were you.

Mark was not the only person to mention to Charles that you were there, in fact Mark was the first of about eight people who felt the need to tell Charles that the girl he once spoke to was somewhere around.

Of course, no one could tell Charles exactly where you were, but it didn’t surprise him to hear you were leaving good impressions on everyone you had spoken to. You, someone who could part the red sea with ease, took a more delicate approach tonight.

You were fully aware Charles was going to be there, but he was of no concern to you. You were polite to absolutely everyone you spoke to and if by chance someone mentioned that, ‘oh, Charles will be here eventually’ you simply smiled and nodded because you weren’t about to make any more waves in the motorsport industry. You preferred your name stayed out of the tabloids and what good would it be going around telling people how Charles broke your heart?

There was speculation, of course. People knew you spent time together. Those online shared their opinions, right or wrong, thinking they could put the pieces together just based on the fact that he was seen in Paris with you one day and then in Monaco with Alex the next.

It didn’t help that you left England soon after, making only one more appearance in Formula 1 when you went to Spain.

Charles still thought about that conversation, how calm you were throughout, not allowing him to take any piece of your dignity despite what he did, how he made you feel.

Charles thought he was better off this way, with Alex.

You were certainly better off.

He didn’t like admitting it, in fact he probably never would, but he kept up to date with you, with your life. He saw on Instagram when you dyed your hair and then dyed it again and then chopped it to your shoulders. He saw when you spent time with the F1 Academy drivers, when you attended Nascar races, when you started spending more and more time with the Arrow McLaren team.

You had told him that you wanted to watch a few races, check out a few teams before deciding whether or not you wanted to pursue a career in the motorsports field.

And you had done just that. From the outside looking in, Charles couldn’t help but think that this was you just trying on different lives. Indecisive, certainly. But you looked happy, so who was he to have a say?

It shouldn’t have come as a shock when the news dropped of you being brought on as a Performance Engineer for the US based papaya team starting in 2024. The photo that accompanied the headline was you sitting at the pit wall in Portland, already with the orange headset on as you watched the race.

Charles was in Italy when he read the article. Just over three months after your relationship ended...but who's counting?

He had finished fourth that Sunday, not his worst race but his best one either. He was just on his way to his car, wanting to head to the airport when he came across the news on Instagram.

He wanted to congratulate you. He wanted to call you and tell you he was excited for this move, for this career you landed on. He wanted to joke that he could have gotten you a job at Ferrari if you had just asked.

But you didn’t talk anymore so he couldn’t say anything. This was the cost of losing you. Charles couldn’t stay your friend, not after what he did, and in return, you were out of his life.

It wasn't that he was looking for you that night in Vegas but he wasn't not looking for you. It was quite a large crowd that even he had trouble navigating his way around. Alex walked behind him, following Charles at a close distance.

And truthfully, Charles tried not to compare you and Alex, but something about knowing you were in the vicinity had him thinking of what would be different if you had accompanied him tonight.

You wouldn’t reach for his hand, but you would have lightly grabbed the back of his shirt if the crowd started getting a little suffocating. Just a slight tug on the material and Charles would turn around and assure you with a smile that he wasn’t going anywhere.

The first time you did that, you were in Monaco. Those weeks he flew you out to spend time with him after only meeting once in the Ferrari garage.

After leaving a nightclub, the crowd got a little rowdy- they all wanted a piece of him. You stood behind him as he walked to the car that was waiting but when people started moving closer you felt as though you were suffocating. Heart racing as anxiety crept up, a new feeling because you didn’t think you were claustrophobic but you had also never been in this situation before.

You reached for the back of Charles’ shirt, hand brushing over the thin material before taking it between your forefinger and thumb. It was helpful for you, knowing that you could still touch him, feel him. It grounded you. A little bit of comfort amidst the chaos.

Charles turned when he felt the faint tug. He recognized the wide eyes, the fear that you tried to play off because this was normal for him. But it wasn’t normal for you so he raised his hand, sliding his fingers into yours to give you that gentle squeeze before finally making it to the car.

The anxiety faded the second Charles closed the door for you. He walked around to the drivers side and slid in, hand automatically finding your leg.

He didn’t ask about it, the sudden panic. He knew you had been around large crowds a handful of times before. You weren’t in the public eye per say, but your father was and growing up you became used to it.

But this was just different. Charles recognised it, and he knew moving forward he’d have to be mindful of it, of you, of how you were feeling.

He wondered how you were doing tonight in Vegas, if there was someone else's shirt you were clinging onto this time. Or maybe that was something you saved just for Charles. He couldn’t ask, though. He wouldn’t know the answer to how you were feeling because you didn’t talk anymore.

He also had absolutely no idea where you were.

Maybe you had left by now. It was getting late. If you showed up on time, which you probably did, you’d have been ready to call it a night thirty minutes ago. You’d have gone back to your hotel room and scrubbed your makeup off, changing into one of those matching jumper and sweats sets you always had.

You craved comfort over anything else.

Charles remembered Paris. The first night. Not the night where everything fell apart right in front of him all because he couldn’t say those three little words back to you.

No, the first night was good. It was great, magical even. Charles had taken you out to dinner. The skin tight black dress you wore, the one with the low cut neckline - Charles still thought about it. He’d love to know if you still had it, if you wore it for anyone else but those were questions he kept to himself.

He remembered at the end of the evening you were at your second wine bar, having come across this one completely by accident on your way back to your place. Charles remembered pulling you inside, suggesting that one more glass wouldn’t hurt anyone and you hesitated because it was getting late, but nevertheless, you followed.

One glass turned into splitting an entire bottle at one of the high tables in the very back. This place was old-school chic with the decor and the 80’s records playing on low volume. It was nothing like the modern and elegant bar you had just spent the last hour in. No, this place was intimate, cozy and surprisingly you didn’t want to leave, even as the night went on.

And that surprised Charles because you had joked at the beginning of the night that you wanted to be in bed by at least eleven. It was half 12 now and you showed no signs of trying to get back to your flat.

“So do you or do you not like staying out late?” Charles asked, trying to get the proper read. His hand was resting on your leg, fingers daringly close to the hem of your dress. You were both way too overdressed for this establishment but no one seemed to mind. No one paid you two any attention.

You smiled and glanced around, wanting to bring light to the fact that no one had approached you since you stepped inside, but you didn’t want to jinx it.

“After a certain hour I like to be comfortable,” you answered. “There’s nothing comforting about a stuffy bar and loud music and people in your space who think they know you but they really don’t. And I like going out, I do, but I don’t like staying out longer than I need to.”

Charles nodded, understanding the point you were getting at. This wine bar was a hole in the wall, a hidden gem that provided you the comfort you desired. While you weren’t entirely alone, it certainly felt like it. You could laugh freely without worrying about being too loud or embarrassing. You could sit as close as you wanted to Charles without being cautious of who was nearby. It was just you and him.

And you could have gone back home, but home would always be there. This moment, this bar, this was just as comforting and in the back of both of your minds, you knew it wouldn’t come again.

You were right.

Charles would have rather been back in that corner of the wine bar with you now, back in Paris without the impending end of your relationship weighing over his shoulders.

He wished he could relive that night over and over because for a moment, he thought that maybe, possibly, he could love you.

Charles blamed it on the wine. The way the dim light hit your delicate features was only accentuated because he was drunk. Your laughter was soothing, heartwarming even, but he reminded himself he had heard it hundreds of times before. You looked at him that night, a naive glow to you and it terrified Charles.

He pushed that four letter word aside. He couldn’t love you. He couldn’t love anyone, he couldn’t have that commitment, not with his lifestyle- his career. If he loved you, you’d become a distraction. You’d want more from him and he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t give you more.

So when you told him you loved him only a few days later, he ran.

He ran back to Alex because she would never tell him she loved him. She wouldn’t put that on his shoulders, she wouldn’t carelessly hand over her heart that way you had. Because that’s what you did. You gave Charles everything, all of you and he didn’t know what to do with it. He wasn’t ready to give you everything in return.

He was left with a tainted memory of Paris.

So yes, he tried to think of that first night more than any other one. At least that memory was pure, wholesome.

It wouldn’t have surprised him to find out you left this Vegas party already. Probably found the quietest bar on the outskirts of the strip. Or you might have even gone back to the hotel because what comfort could a bar bring you?

Did you still think about that night in Paris too? Or had you tried to completely forget about your time together there? Again, Charles couldn’t just ask you that. You didn’t talk.

But there were people here that you did talk to.

Charles spotted Pato O’Ward, the well adored driver in the IndyCar series. You may not have been hired as a performance engineer for his car, but you were going to be a crucial part of the Arrow McLaren team. Plus you had spent a handful of races with them already, sometimes in his pit lane box.

They had met before, briefly but it was a long enough interaction that Charles didn’t feel uncomfortable approaching the Mexican driver.

They chatted about the race happening this weekend, about Pato’s upcoming practice session he’ll be participating in in Abu Dhabi. Charles was friendly, he knew how to carry a conversation.

He also knew how to find out the information he couldn’t get first hand from you. Of course, waiting until Alex walked off to get another drink.

“I heard about Y/N joining the team,” Charles casually mentioned. “That’s exciting, she’ll be a good addition.”

“Oh for sure,” Pato nodded in agreement. He glanced around, as if trying to find you but he didn’t spend too long looking. “She’s a genius. We’re happy to have her. I’m surprised that she didn’t find a job in Formula 1, though. With her father and all and-”

Pato cut himself off, unsure if this was a line he wanted to cross.

But Charles chuckled, making light of the history he had with the new Arrow McLaren employee. The more at ease Pato felt, the more likely he’d be willing to talk about you.

“Honestly I could have gotten her a job at Ferrari if she showed interest,” Charles told him. He wasn’t sure if that was true or not, but Pato wasn’t going to talk if Charles was quick to shut down the topic of you. So he continued, “But she always talked about IndyCar. She only ever spent time at Formula 1 because of the history, because of her dad but her interests lied with your series. I think it’s because she grew up with Formula 1, you know, there was no more fascination. IndyCar is almost like a challenge for her…she did always like to challenge herself. I hope this career is good for her- I think it will be, I think it’s what she needs. I mean, I guess I don't really know what she needs but I hope she finds it at Arrow McLaren.”

Where the fuck did that come from?

Even Pato was a little taken aback. He didn’t show it on his face, but he certainly hadn’t expected Charles to say any of those words about you. There was a longing in Charles’ tone. He wasn’t just speaking highly of you, he was pulling from his heaviest memories, his cherished moments. He wasn’t just telling Pato everything that Pato probably already knew. Charles was reminding himself of the person you were, the person you still are.

The person he didn’t know anymore.

Charles cleared his throat, “Do you talk to her? Or not so much in the off season?”

Pato moved on along with Charles, as best as he could, offering him a faint shrug, “I chatted with her earlier tonight. She’s in the middle of a move, actually.”

“To the states?” Charles asked.

“Bristol, I think,” Pato racked his memory but was confident with his answer. “She lived in Paris for a bit but is going to spend the next few months in Bristol before heading to the states at the end of February.”

Bristol did not come as a surprise to Charles.

“If you could move anywhere, where would you go?” You had once asked him. Although, your timing was poor as you were both currently lounging on the front of his yacht in the French Riviera. Why would he want to move anywhere else when everything he needed, for the most part, was right here?

“I don’t want to move,” Charles gave you the answer you had expected. He turned his head to face you, arm resting on the back of the chair. He had sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose but he took them off his face and handed them to you when he realised you were squinting as you looked at him.

“I’d move to Bristol,” you told him, unprompted. His sunglasses were a little big for your face, but the gesture was sweet.

“Bristol,” he repeated. “Why Bristol?”

“It’s beautiful,” you said. “Rich in history and culture. I’d live on the seaside. I’d spend my days in the market. There’s still a bit of a nightlife if I feel like going out. But It’s serene there. I’d be happy there.”

Charles sat up a bit, “Monaco has all that. Why don’t you just move here?”

You laughed. As if moving to Monaco was that easy.

Regardless, Monaco was missing something you cherished.

“I enjoy the cold weather, Charles.” You said as if this wasn’t something he already knew. “Bristol’s like the perfect place. It doesn’t snow often but it still drops in temperature during the winter and if I wanted a white Christmas I could just drive a few hours inland. I can’t thrive in 365 days of heat. Sometimes I just want to make a cup of tea and curl up on the couch with a blanket.”

Charles admired a lot of things about you, but near the top of that list was how much you appreciated the little things in your life. You were raised in wealth, with a name that everyone was familiar with, but you were simple. You worked hard for what you wanted and you cherished what you had. You never asked for anything more and you were always content, never one to complain. You were probably the most down to earth person he’d ever met.

So no, it wasn’t shocking to hear that you had moved out of your flat in Paris to spend a few months in Bristol. To get that British winter one more time before moving for your career.

“I’m sure she’s around here somewhere if you-” Pato stopped mid sentence, his eyes landing on something, someone, behind Charles.

Naturally, Charles turned over his shoulder to look.

There you were.

Part of your hair was pinned back with a pearl hair clip. You opted out of a dress, going for a matching skirt and cropped blazer instead, pairing it with a pair of heels only a shade darker. You were chatting with someone that Charles didn’t recognise, a champagne glass held delicately between your fingers. You were so into your conversation that you had no idea that you had gained the attention of not just one driver, but two.

Charles wasn’t the only one who was dying to spend some time with you tonight.

He turned back at Pato and Charles would be lying to himself if he said his blood didn’t boil over at the way Pato was looking at you. He was envious in this moment. He knew you were larger than life, but you were such a well kept secret, his secret, and you were the farthest thing from that now.

Pato muttered something about catching up with Charles later and all Charles could do was watch as the IndyCar driver made his way over to you. You greeted him with a warm smile. His hand found your lower back with ease, like he had placed it there before. You handed him the champagne glass in your hand and Pato took a sip, holding it onto it, like that was normal. Like you shared drinks with him before.

And Charles knew he didn’t have any sort of right to care, to question, to even wonder what you were doing now but god it pained him to think that you were possibly, probably, sleeping with Pato O’Ward.

When did that start? Before you signed your contract or after? Did that matter? No of course it didn’t matter. None of it mattered because Charles was with Alex. He made that choice, he let you go. He foolishly, stupidly, regrettably, let you go and now he had to watch from the sidelines as you lived your life without him. You found the career you wanted, not in Formula 1.

If you were with Pato, there was no doubt in Charles’ mind that Pato treated you better than he did. He was a stand up guy, he was charming, he leaned in and whispered something in your ear that had you blushing in seconds.

How Charles was feeling wasn’t fair and he knew it. He knew he was in the wrong. He knew he couldn’t be jealous seeing you with someone else. You had moved on, you had every right to move on.

He knew that it shouldn’t have taken seeing you with Pato to realise he had made a mistake. This was a conclusion he should have come to a while ago, honestly he should have never even let you go in the first place. And maybe he did know it and just didn’t want to admit it until it was screaming at him, a brutal hit to the face over and over until he just couldn’t ignore the bruises anymore.

He shouldn’t have let you go.

But he did and this was the price he had to pay. He watched from the outside, watched you change and grow through the stories he overheard and pictures you shared. He was a mere crumb in your life now compared to when you handed him your heart on a silver platter.

Charles regretted everything. He regretted that he left you waiting for him to say ‘I love you’ and at the very least, hoping he would say ‘don’t go’ and instead gave you nothing. Now he couldn’t say any of those words. Now you didn’t talk.

He left the party early. Alex didn’t say anything on the ride back to the hotel. Neither did he. What was there left to say anyway?

But the silence from her left less of a hole than the silence he got from you.

He sat in the hotel bar while Alex packed up her suitcase and asked the front desk for a new room. She wasn’t going to leave. Not yet, at least. Just give Charles the space he needed and honestly, Charles knew she was waiting for him to return to her once he came to his senses, like he did last time.

Because Alex gave him what he wanted. Comfort, but she didn’t ask for it in return. Adoration, but didn’t expect the love to be reciprocated. She played the part of the girlfriend and she played it well, accompanying Charles wherever, whenever. Alex thought that if she played the long game, Charles would love her. Charles would see a future with her.

You, though, you didn’t have time to wait. You weren’t going to sit ideally and beg for him to love you back. You weren’t going to tell him that you’d wait for him, that you’d be there if things with Alex didn’t work out.

You moved on.

Charles tried to accept that, really. He tried to just focus on the last two races and not about what you were doing. If Bristol was everything you dreamt it was. If Pato and you were together. He tried not to think about anything that revolved around you.

He thought he could at least make it to the New Year, and maybe he would have. He might have reconnected with Alex on the 31st if he successfully went the entire month of December without his mind trailing back to you.

But the second his friend who resided in London called him up and asked if he wanted to attend a fashion show he was part of...well, it was embarrassing how fast Charles agreed to go. Because London was certainly closer to Bristol than Monaco was. And if he was in London, it was hard to find a reason why he shouldn’t just…go to Bristol.

Actually it was very easy to find dozens of reasons. Charles simply ignored all of them.

He didn’t think this plan through at all, which was why he stood outside your door for nearly five minutes before knocking. What was he going to say?

For starters, he was really hoping you wouldn’t ask how he knew where you lived. Charles didn’t feel like explaining the hoops he had to jump through that may or may not have involved Joris at one point pretending to be your brother and calling your place of employment.

It was fucked up. Charles could admit that. But if he could admit that, he could admit it wasn’t the only fucked up thing he did. Letting you walk away from him was at the top of that list.

When you opened the door, you weren’t upset to see him, but you weren’t happy either. Charles carried that vibe the entire time he was inside, starting from when you reluctantly let him in to the way you handed him his cup of tea without so much as a word.

“How’s Alexandra?” You asked him. Charles could tell you were only trying to be polite.

“Do you care?” He asked in return.

No hesitation from you as you shook your head, “I do not.”

He always admired your honesty. He was still scared shitless at the way you could quite literally kill someone with kindness, but he also respected it. You were the only person he knew who’s gentle smile had the ability to send someone cowering. It was a skill, truly.

“So let’s not talk about her,” he suggested and you nodded, but you also weren’t about to let the conversation carry on if it was pointless.

“Charles if you don’t tell me why you’re here…”

He had an entire drive to figure out how he wanted to word this. He had a whole plane ride to put together the perfect sentence, the perfect mix of apologies and admittance and instead his mind was blank. He didn’t know the words to say to you, not after going so long without saying anything.

But he lifted his head and met your eyes. He thought about reaching for your hand only to decide against it because your hand wasn’t his to hold anymore.

“I shouldn’t have let you go,” he said, voice low, breaking almost. He shook his head, repeating it. “I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have let you go. I don’t want to be someone who’s not in your life. I don’t want to be someone who means nothing to you anymore. I-”

I love you, he wanted to say.

Because he did.

At least, he thought he did. At one point, he knew he could. If he could then, he could now, right? He could still love you. If you took him back, if you found a way to still love him, Charles wanted to love you back in the same way.

Or maybe he just didn’t want you to love anyone else.

“Charles you don’t know how to love anyone,” you knew exactly what he was going to say. And at one point, you wanted to hear it. Now, though? This was the one time you were hoping he didn’t say it.

“That’s not true.”

“It is,” you stated, like you knew him better than he knew himself. Maybe you did. “You don’t want to love someone, you just want to be loved.”

“I want to be in love with you.”

“That’s not the same and you know it,” your words could have cut through him like glass if your tone wasn’t so soft.

Charles shifted uncomfortably. This conversation hadn’t gone as planned, but what was he truly expecting? You’d take him back? You were better off without him. Anyone could see that.

“Listen, I had to get over you and you weren’t even mine, Charles. Do you know how twisted that is? The only person to blame for my broken heart was myself because I knew, all along, you weren’t mine. I knew it and I went along anyway and I’m not doing that again. I will not love you again. I don’t need another wave of self destruction and false hope and unrequited love. I am happy, okay? I didn’t need you to come here with some sort of declaration that you can’t even say with your chest. I don’t- I don’t need that. I don’t need you.”

He still tried, still attempted to win you back with the what if’s but you saw through it. You cut him off before he could finish his question. What if I do need you?

You shook your head, staying firm with your decision. “It’s over now, Charles. It was over then and it’s over now.”

Charles believed that. He repeated your words the entire way home. He could never give you the closure you needed so you gave it to yourself and you seemed adamant that your past with Charles was going to stay there, in the past.

He didn’t get back together with Alex. He couldn’t. He ended things the second he returned to Monaco. She asked if you were the reason and Charles didn’t really have an answer. You weren’t dating, but you were still there. In the back of his mind, in his dreams, everywhere he looked he saw you.

He didn’t think he’d actually see you again. He knew you were moving in the New Year. That you had officially gone on with your life.

So imagine his surprise when you showed up at his door on New Years Eve.

Smudged mascara under your eyes, an unopened bottle of wine in your hands and a dress that left very little to the imagination. Charles had hundreds of questions, for you, for himself, like was he just imagining this?

And then you stepped past him, sliding your heels off and immediately going to his cupboard to pull out two empty wine glasses. It was a screw top, the bottle in your hands, Charles wondered where you got it but he didn’t ask. He just let you pour a very healthy amount into each of the glasses. He didn’t say anything when you handed one to him, you both just took a sip in peace.

Charles wasn’t sure where he found his voice, but he somehow managed to. And he said the stupidest fucking thing ever.

“I thought we were over.”

“We are,” you stated, taking another sip. You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror behind him and you tried to wipe your undereyes but the dry pads of your fingers did little to help.

Charles stepped into the bathroom to grab one of those white hand towels that he hung on the rack. He ran it under some warm water before making his way back to you. He was hesitant to step close, but you didn’t flinch away.

So he raised his hand to your cheek, holding you still as he wiped away the stains of mascara, the remains of whatever you were crying over. His touch was gentle. You could feel his breath hit your face and you couldn’t help but glance at his lips. You hadn’t been this close since Paris.

“Thank you,” you whispered when he dropped the cloth to the sink.

Charles didn’t back up after. He stayed with his hand on the side of your face, even sliding his fingers against your scalp to get tangled in your hair. Something he knew you loved. You hummed at the feeling, how normal this seemed, like you weren’t the one to end things that last time around.

Unlike last time, Charles was the one to ask, “Why are you here, Y/N?”

You shook your head, wishing he could just accept this for what it was. You didn’t want to have a conversation.

So you reached for the front of his shirt, dragging your hand up to the collar as you brought your lips closer to his. The little twitch in the corner of your mouth, that faint smirk, it ruined Charles. His hand found your waist, he was only human.

��Please, Charles,” you breathed out. Not a beg, a request if anything. “Now is not the time to talk.”

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sunkissedchld · 17 days

Text

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒗𝒆𝒓. 𝒐𝒏𝒆

the piles go from left to right. therefore, pile one is the clear quartz, pile two is the tiger's eye, and so on and so forth.

take your time to use your intuition to choose the pile that will best resonate with you. lastly, please don't be afraid to say if the message resonated or not; it helps me in determining if my interpretations are correct or not, and i appreciate any sort of feedback - even if it's "bad".

good luck to you, reader 🔮

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈

Signs:

heavily craving or avoiding physical touch, prominent first house or major first house transits right now, 9/99/999, heavy fire sign placements or embodying fire sign energy recently (or needing to), archangel gabriel, heavy sagittarius and/or cancer energy, mercury, uranus

Shufflemancy:

“Confessions” by Usher

“Lost Without U” by Robin Thicke

“Insecure” by Amare La Negra

“ICONIC” by Aespa

“3RACHA” by Stray Kids

Cards:

Ace of Cups, Page of Wands (Rx), Knight of Swords (Rx), Broom, Knight of Pentacles (Rx), Queen of Pentacles, Justice, The Hermit, The Star, The Magician

Reading:

It feels like there’s two camps of people for this pile: those with project ideas in mind for work or for their own personal lives and those interested in a potential crush or relationship. I’ll try to give examples for both and keep things semi-neutral, but sometimes things aren’t always that clean, so apply to your situation as needed.

You may feel excited about this new project or relationship. You’re excited about potential prospects and have all these ideas running in your mind about how to go about things or how things will turn out, but this excitement is actually proving to be unhelpful or detrimental in a sense. Excitement with the right work ethic and listening ears can be a blessing, but without direction and input from others can cause you flail. It seems you could be rushing into things and trying to make pieces fit where they don’t so to speak. You could be thinking your plan is perfect and if everything just went the way you wanted, then all would be great, but this isn’t true. You need to get rid of this idea of you being this know-it-all who knows exactly what’s happening right now.

For those of you who are used to always pursuing and making things happen; you need to step back and allow the universe to play out its wants. You could be the type of person who thinks they have to sacrifice everything in order to be happy or live comfortably, and the truth is that is not the case. You can have a balance between your work life and romantic or personal one; it’s okay to love working and coming up with all these ideas, but you also need to learn how to get comfortable with being with others and yourself outside of that professional, work-minded setting.

For those of you who sit in the background and are a little more lazy, the opposite is true in that you need to step into taking control of your own life instead of leaving decisions and everything else up to the universe or other people around you. you could be too hedonistic and concerned about personal connections to the point where you put your livelihood and financial security at risk. In both instances, a need to balance is present. Also for both instances, there’s an emphasis on spending a little bit of time with yourself to determine in which way you need to expand and in which way you need to pull back from some of your habits.

This pursuit versus lackadaisical attitude can also be applied to pursuing relationships. Some of you are constantly on the look for this person you’re interested in, or you’re always thinking of how you want to be in a relationship or how you can get into one when you need to step back and let it come to you when you need it. Others of you are acting as if you’re completely out of the game and are putting in no effort to create and maintain relationships when the reality is humans are interactive creatures, and you too need interaction! Again, a balance is needed for those this aligns with.

Ultimately, you can have whatever it is you want: the lead on the project, the relationship, the good work ethic, the hedonistic lifestyle, but you also need to balance that with what it is you’re avoiding. The perfect recipe or spell concoction isn’t made with too much of any one ingredient. Everything has to work together in order for so-called perfection to be derived.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈

Signs:

lack of sight, “going in blind”, prominent twelfth house placements or transits, heavy pisces placements or energy, 1212, venus, 3/33/333, “i’m walking on sunshine”; “i’m trying to ascend”; “i’m crucified like my savior; saint-like behavior”

Shufflemancy:

“in my head” by Ariana Grande

“Cry Baby” by Megan Thee Stallion (feat. DaBaby)

“Say My Name (Live)” by Beyoncè

“Emotional Bruises” by Madison Beer

“Streets Is Callin’” by B2K

Cards:

Page of Wands (Rx), Page of Pentacles, The Chariot, Ace of Swords, Seven of Cups, The Patient Witch, Three of Cups, Three of Pentacles, Good Luck Charm

Reading:

Those choosing pile two might be in an intermittent state currently. Previously, you could’ve felt like you were on top of the world with everything set in stone, but now you’ve lost your footing, and you can’t necessarily figure out why. You might’ve started a project or new endeavor, and now you’re running into unexpected troubles which are making you want to give up.

You might be someone who is obsessive about the things they want; you need everything to turn out exactly how you pictured it - to the point of refusing to be happy with anything less or slightly different even if the bulk of what you want is given to you. When you do encounter differences (or what you’d consider roadblocks), you have a habit of abandoning things or believing you must’ve messed up in some way – even when that’s not the case! You get so focused on “fixing” things that you forget to be appreciative of what you do accomplish.

It seems you recognize you’re on some sort of journey, and you’re excited to do so much; you have so many ideas you want to pursue that sometimes you confuse yourself about what to do. In some ways, an abundance of choices is confusing you. You could inherently know that you likely can’t pursue everything (or that you shouldn’t), but your curiosity is getting the best of you. For some of you, I feel like some of these illusionary good choices have already come forward, and you’ve figured out the hard way that not every choice available to you is a good one.

Those of pile two are being called to do a few things. One is to be patient and listen to yourself. Again, you can have all these ideas about what you want to do, but you need to figure out a way to “be still” and concentrate your energy on what’s best for you. You don’t have to be making moves or plans all the time; I know being told to meditate can feel frustrating, but the truth is that it’s hard to make good decisions without fully thinking them through. This act of listening to your inner self does not have to be done completely alone though (although parts of it should be). Don’t be afraid to ask friends, your guides, or other people around you for advice or help. Talk through your ideas, work with others to achieve them – you might see more success creating a community as opposed to acting totally alone.

Overall pile two, things will work out for you depending on how you act and whether or not you listen. If you keep pursuing things faster than you’re ready to, then you can expect rude awakenings about needing to slow down and think before acting. If you take the time to get in tune with yourself and determine what it is you truly should be going after, then you can expect better outcomes and results.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈

Signs:

9/99/999, feeling sick recently, not trusting yourself, “don’t trust yourself”, uranus prominence, the color red, lack of fight, dogma, fire dominance or being drawn to fire, 3/33/333, swords, prominent air energy or dominance, 6/66

Shufflemancy:

“Right Here” by Alex Aiono

“Princess Going Digital” by Amaarae

“King’s Dead” by Kendrick Lamar (feat. Jay Rock, Future, & James Blake)

“Muwop” by Latto (feat. Gucci Mane)

“Die A Little Bit” by Tinashe (feat. Ms Banks)

Cards:

Six of Swords, Six of Wands, Four of Pentacles, Nine of Swords, Five of Swords, The World, Nine of Wands, Temperance, The Tower, Ten of Cups (Rx), Ace of Swords

Reading:

I think this pile is mainly for those thinking about or experiencing a romantic situation – not everyone will be, so don’t be alarmed because the overall message will be able to be applied regardless of whether romance is in your life right now or not. Those who chose this pile may be the type to close themselves off from others; in a lot of ways you’re hiding your light and existence from people who would appreciate and celebrate you. You could be someone who has social anxiety or worries often about the way people perceive you; you might find it hard to make friends or to establish relationships (romantic, platonic, maybe even familial) where you feel comfortable revealing your authentic self to others.

You’re being called to leave this unsure part of yourself behind. You could be insecure when it comes to interacting with others – maybe you have a stutter or there’s some other factor that impacts your speech or how comfortable you feel when talking to people. For some of you, you may not understand what makes you special or what would draw people to you as a person, but Six of Wands in the deck I have says, “you’re kind of a big deal, so start acting like it!”. Even if you can’t see your own beauty, draw, or light other people can and want to connect with you because of it and because of who you portray yourself to be.

Going back to relationships and trying to make connections with others, you may be someone who always thinks the worst of people. You may often think, “no one will like me”; “I won’t be able to make friends here”; “I’m not interesting enough”; “all my relationships go to shit in some way, so why try”, and the advice to you is “you can’t be right all of the time”. The worst possible outcome is not the only outcome. There’s almost a guarantee that if you get out of your comfort zone and be intentional in establishing relationships with people, then you may find the outcomes you fear so much won’t happen. “You have to give people the chance to show you they’re not like the people who have been in your life previously”.

There’s an emphasis on the fact that you’re still standing even though you may have experienced times when you didn’t think you would keep going. The only/main thing holding you back right now is not your guides or the universe or the people around you or some outside evil force that you think only has it out for you – you are imposing limitations on yourself because of your fear of being hurt again. Although you’re being urged to try and pursue relationships out of your own volition; it’s important to note that some people are coming forward regardless. You must get rid of this idea that you’re unlikeable or unlovable, and you’ll likely have a Tower moment regarding your idea of and the way you act in relationships soon.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕

Signs:

the color purple, feeling restless or tired, sun dominance or needing to go out in the sun, prominent capricorn, libra, and/or gemini placements, red orange/blood orange, second house placements or transits, “trust yourself”, artemis, poseidon, water dominance or working with water, hades

Shufflemancy:

“libidO” by OnlyOneOf

“Focus” by H.E.R

“Victory” by Yolanda Adams

“UGOMDN” by chlothegod

“Star Lost” by Stray Kids

Cards:

Page of Pentacles (Rx), Seven of Cups, The Patient Witch (Rx), Queen of Swords, Page of Cups, Five of Wands, Ten of Wands (Rx), The Lovers (Rx), Ace of Pentacles, Eight of Cups. Judgment

Reading:

The message for those of you who chose pile four is going to be a little harsh – just as a disclaimer. Your guides may be at their wits end in trying to tell you nicely or in trying to contact you in general, so this could be a message you’ve been ignoring or not understanding for a while. This could be a lesson you keep running into; I heard “you’re tired? We’re tired too”, so take that as it resonates. This pile also feels adjacent to pile two because some of the same cards came out, but I think this pile is for those of you who have little time to make your decision to change your ways because you’ve already been warned multiple times.

At your core, you embody the Queen of Swords; you may be quick-witted, steadfast in your knowledge of who you are and what you want, outspoken, and independent to a fault, but currently these attributes are manifesting in the most negative ways. Currently, you could be acting childish and “rotten”; I’m reminded of Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You’re so stuck in this idea of how you want things to play out and what you want that you’ve backed yourself into a situation where you come off as immature and lazy if things don’t go your way. What seems to be coming through is “oh, you’re stubborn? We can be stubborn too”.

Your guides are wanting you to loosen up and be open to experiencing what’s thrown to and/or given to you. You have the ultimate control over your life, but I’m seeing some of you specifically asked for your guides’ help and aid, so if you want it, then you have to listen to their suggestions also. Your work with them is not a one-way affair, so stop treating it as such. They are not magic genies who are to drop everything and give you everything you want at your beck and call. I heard “cruisin’ for a bruisin’” which could be related to your need to control things.

The advice of this reading is really to be mindful of how you're treating your guides and your intentions in your journey with them. For one, you’re shouldering too much responsibility to the point where you’re burning yourself out. It is not possible to go through life all by yourself with no help or input from anyone else. It’s also not possible to have a relationship with your guides and never listen to them or treat them like they’re your servants. If you keep running into obstacles and misfortunes going on your own, then maybe try their way for a while and see how it works for you.

Overall pile four, your guides want to work with you. They want to provide you with abundance and see you prosper and above all happy, but if you refuse to listen, then you will keep stumbling.

#tarot #oracle #pick a card #PAC #tarotblr #sunkissedchld #Spotify

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coeluvr · 8 months

Text

Frequently Asked Questions

Hello! There have been a lot of repeated asks and I wanted to answer them once and for all so I don't clog the dashboard with the same thing over and over. :)

What is the purpose of MC being a child in the beginning?

I wanted MC to be at their most vulnerable place possible so MC is a child in the beginning. In Chapter 2 there is a timeskip to when they are 15 and then in Chapter 3 they become 20.

Does MC have to become the Royal Consort?

Yes.

How many books will there be?

I'm planning on this being a duology!

Will we be able to choose X, Y, and Z?

Regarding the MC, you will be able to choose the following:

Appearance except for their eyes which are red by default. *

Pronouns

Gender identity

Type of compliments they prefer

Type of clothing they wear

Tattoos / Scars

Coping mechanisms **

Personality and Public Image

The things that are set are:

MC's age

MC's eye color *

Due to the events of the story, your MC will want revenge at the beginning of the story no matter what. ***

* Why are MC's eyes red by default?

Each of the royal families has a signature eye color, MC's family's eye color is red. Eye color is extremely important in this story.

** What kind of coping mechanisms are there?

Here is a list of the current unhealthy coping mechanisms:

Substance Abuse, mainly alcohol.

Sleeping too much

Not Sleeping at all

Overworking

Taking Unnecessary Risks

Excessive amounts of Sexual Acts

Self Care being nonexistent

Excessive Spending

Here is a list of hobbies that are considered a coping mechanism if your MC does not have an unhealthy coping mechanism:

Dancing

Singing

Playing instruments

Cooking / Baking

Hunting

Forging weapons

Gardening

Painting

Writing

Reading

How many can I choose?

You can choose:

2 hobbies = 2 healthy coping mechanisms, mostly treated as hobbies

1 hobby + 1 unhealthy coping mechanism

1 hobby + 2 unhealthy coping mechanisms

Is this mandatory?

Your MC must have a hobby but they do not have to have an unhealthy coping mechanism.

Which unhealthy coping mechanism is the worst for each RO's route?

I'm not a fan of spoilers and I think it will be much more interesting to see for yourself later on.

*** Why is MC set on revenge in the beginning of the story?

MC lost their entire life at the hands of Luceris and then got forced into the role of the Royal Consort. It wouldn't make sense, to me (the author), if young MC didn't want any sort of retribution.

Can MC decide not to pursue revenge once they are older?

Yes.

Just to make sure, there is a path of revenge in this IF, right?

Please read the intro post and what I wrote above.

Quick answer: Yes.

So MC can kill Luceris as revenge?

Yes. This is the only possible death I will confirm so please do not ask me about the other characters.

Can MC do X, Y, and Z as a form of revenge?

Why don't you play and find out?

At least tell us if MC can romance Helios for revenge.

Yes, that will be possible.

If MC does that, can they also genuinely romance someone else?

No. The ROs are all on friendly-ish terms with each other and would not have that type of relationship with MC if they were playing around with Helios.

Remember, the routes WILL lock at some point, until then everyone is free game.

MC will be able to have flings / one-night stands in any route though.

Who can we have a fling with?

The following list will be updated as characters are introduced:

Lord Eadred / Lady Eadith

The others have not been introduced yet!

Is romance mandatory?

No.

Does MC have to engage in [insert immoral things]?

No.

Isn't MC being the Consort of a grown man weird?

Yes, it is. People in the story do not think it is normal or acceptable.

It is supposed to make you feel uncomfortable.

For some reason a Luceris x MC romance sounds good...

Absolutely not. If you send me an ask with this type of content you will be blocked.

Is NSFW allowed?

Yes.

Can I call Hunter [insert gendered term]?

Sure but I will not answer asks in which they aren't referred as they/them. I don't want people to think they are a specific gender in my head.

Why is Hunter's route so angsty?

Wait and see!

Does every route have angst?

Yes. Even the ones that are "easy" :)

When's the next update coming?

When it's ready!

Wait... Did I miss an update?

Please check the game's itch.io page and take a look at the posts. I will always post something to let everyone know about updates or other extra content.

You should add the game to your collection to receive notifications of posts.

When does MC become an adult in the main story?

As I mentioned before, MC is 20 in Chapter 3.

Can you add [customizable thing]?

You can suggest it but I can't promise anything.

Can we draw the characters and imagine them differently?

Yes, you can draw them.

Yes, you can imagine differently as long as it does not whitewash any characters. I don't want to see fair white pale skin Luceris/Helios/Fadiya/Hunter.

Yes, I've seen it before and hated it.

Can we write fanfiction?

Yes! I won't interact with it to protect myself so please don't send it to me.

Can we create other types of fanworks?

Yes!

You don't answer my questions.

Sorry! For a better understanding of what I answer and what I do not answer see my ask guidelines.

How would the ROs react to X, Y, and Z?

I'm guessing you didn't read my ask guidelines.

All the asks are very appreciated, but I'm afraid you will be disappointed if you send me these because I won't answer.

[Any theory]

I love reading them so keep them coming but I will no longer post them!

If you wish for others to see it and discuss it with you, I suggest joining the Official Discord Server.

This whole thing is problematic to me.

Great, this is supposed to have problematic elements and none of the characters are saints.

Why can't we choose [insert thing + complaining]?

Please write fanfiction or something else and do not come to me to complain.

Are Luceris and Lancelot just friends?

Stick around and find out.

Luceris or Lancelot romance route when?

They were adults when MC was a child. I would rather die than write that.

Luceris is a loser pedo!

He is a loser but not the latter. He doesn't find any children attractive. Hope that clears things up! :)

Well then... you're the pedo!

Please look up what that word means and stop throwing it around.

I don't like this.

Don't read it. :)

Can I give you [insert gift]?

It makes me extremely uncomfortable so I would prefer it if people didn't gift me things. If you wish to support me please do it through Ko-Fi, Patreon, or Itch.io donations.

[Any rude comment]

I don't care.

[Any praise or jokes]

I might not reply but I read all of them! Thank you for being here. 💗

That's all I can think of right now. This will be updated as I remember more.

Don't hesitate to send me asks that weren't answered here!

#faq #interactive fiction #crown of ashes and flames #last updated:#sept 29

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victimsofyaoipoll · 10 months

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Round 1

Propaganda Under Cut

Erina Pendleton

Erina is SO MUCH MORE than just a "Generic Love Interest" that was brought in the story to continue the bloodline after everything that happens (and it's made abundantly clear time and time and TIME AGAIN that she means everything to Jonathan, to a point that she was his exact reason to standing up against Dio for the first time) but without fail she's only ever allowed to be the supportive best friend. Or a wingman for Jonathan and whoever he's being shipped with. Or simply supposed to sit there and allow her husband to have a male lover (the amount of posts I've seen of ppl using the excuse that 'it was very common back in the Victorian Era for men to keep male lovers that their wives were aware of and quietly accepted so it isn't a stretch to say that Erina and Jonathan wouldn't be the same--especially given how progressive she's written". Or of course my favorite when they completely erase her from the narrative and pretends she doesn't exist Jonathan's got their son for some reason, but nope she ain't there!

a lot of times ppl who ship her CANON HUSBAND jonathan joestar with speedwagon will put her on the back burner of HER OWN CANON RELATIONSHIP in favor of propping up jonawagon, to the point where 90% of the archive for jonawagon/jonawagon(eri) is either erina giving jonathan and speedwagon consent to be happy together while she acts like a #LoveIsLove wingman OR they'll have the audacity to write fics where erina comforts speedwagon at HER HUSBAND'S FUNERAL

Our hero’s hot wife who was the first (and arguably) only person to give him the emotional support he needed. She’s the only person who never expects him to fulfill some mythical role, she just loves him for who he is. She’s been his best friend and the love of his life since he was 12 years old. When it comes to hero/sidekick ship, she’s forced to be a wing woman for her own husband, either nobly letting him go or peacefully agreeing to an open relationship but only for him!!! She gets nothing out of it, she’s just a good Victorian wife who is “ahead of her time”. Usually, just so she can provide a womb so that the hero/sidekick can be dads and she can conveniently be offscreen. OR she’s written as a lesbian in order to completely and “justifiably” take her out of the equation but there’s a.) no other woman in her vicinity to even ship her with b.) there’s vaguely some faceless, nameless woman we’re meant to assume she’s pursuing, not even a real OC for her.

Suzi Q

This article is incomplete; you can help by expanding it

All she's literally ever done is have a few cute exchanges with Joseph and be a sweetheart in the short time we get to see her following her minor introduction, clearly cementing some sort of playful attraction between the two and without fail she's consistently bombarded with extreme mischaracterization to make her seem vapid and cruel (and occasionally homophobic but like in a Completely Oblivious Dumb Blonde way), that she's nothing more than a gold digger who wanted to marry rich, that Joseph only married her because "he lost his actual soulmate and had to settle for her", and that it was HER fault that Joseph cheated on her decades into their marriage. Frankly, everyone who makes jokes at Suzi Q's expense regarding the cheating scandal aren't as funny as they think they are!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Literally all she’s ever done is be adorable and marry the hero and people either dismiss her completely or demonize her. She’s often ignored or made to play wing woman for the hero/sidekick ship OR she’s a horrible gold digger who only wants the hero for his money and/or she was only ever just a consolation prize for him when he couldn’t be with his sidekick. She also gets blamed for her husband having an affair. People like to say that she wasn’t good enough for him and could never replace his sidekick and that clearly he never REALLY loved her and it’s her fault for never measuring up. Her husband’s infidelity aside, she stayed married to that man for at least 60 years and canonically says she always believes in him and trusts him to save the day and yet people wanna say she doesn’t care about him. Or call her stupid for never imagining that her husband would cheat on her. The victim blaming gets really gross.

#poll #round 1 #erina pendleton #suzi q #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #phantom blood #battle tendency

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sixofwandsss · 2 years

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pick a pile: what needs to change in your life?

pile 1 pile 2

pile 3 pile 4

"close your eyes, take 3 deep breaths, allow your intuition to help you chose the right pile"

pile 1

You need to change up your relationship with your intuition, let it guide you a bit more. You seem doubtful about making decisions while listening to your gut instincts.

In some cases, some of you might want to pursue a creative career or field but feel afraid of it not working out.

This might be because of what other people expect of you, but also because of the fear of not earning enough money for a living

There's a lot of things you want to achieve but you feel indecisive and overwhelmed.

Please, listen to your heart and believe that everything's going to work out on your favor, you must have faith in the divine and its protection towards you, if you take that leap of faith, the universe will catch you.

Feeling afraid it's understandable, but overthinking and over-analyzing the situation just creates more resistance and stagnation.

pile 2

You need to learn how to appreciate yourself and understand the value that you give to the world only by existing.

There might be a need to release old toxic beliefs about yourself that only leave you feeling down and suck the happiness out of your life.

Discover what makes you feel truly alive and give your life a sense of purpose.

Connect with the divine and understand that you were meant to be here on Earth, you're not an alien just because you are different or don't fit in.

You exude starseed energy, you are from other realms, that's why it becomes difficult for you to understand the human experience, but you were meant to live this.

You could change the world only by being truly you.

You HAVE A PURPOSE.

Be hopeful and optimistic about what you could achieve on this lifetime, you have infinite power.

Getting rid of this beliefs will be hard but it will be 100% worth it.

pile 3

You don't have to deal with others' problems, neither have to carry their baggage. It feels like you put other people's needs above your own, and that's weighing down on you: fill your own cup first and watch your life become more balanced and enjoyable overall

The reason why you don't prioritize yourself is because you think that if you stop attending other people's needs all the time, they will abandon you.

The truth is: only people that deserve to be in your life won't run away if you take care of yourself first.

You might need to start to set boundaries and think logically when you start to notice these people-pleasing behaviors.

As you grow out of this state, focus on following whatever makes you feel good, no matter what other people think about it.

What makes you feel more confident and fullfilled?

Your happiness comes first, darling, always remember that.

pile 4

This is a sign from your guides for you to stop neglecting your own emotions. Repressing them is only a coping mechanism that you had to acquire on an early stage of life to deal with trauma. Perhaps, expressing emotions wasn´t viewed as something positive in the environment that you grew up in.

This behavior is currently affecting your self-steem and your long terms goals. Remember, it is safe to feel what you feel

Your inability to be vulnerable and open up to others is causing you to feel lonely and misunderstood.

Not all people are gonna hurt you, if they show you that they can be trusted, please do; it is both healthy and necessary to develop a support system around you, it's sort of difficult to do that without showing your real self.

There's also an energy of not having high hopes about the future due to a pessimism developed after years of suffering.

You are desserving of good things, and you will get them, no matter what.

You are resilient and will get through it all, allow yourself to enjoy your life a little more

take care, del <3

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lizdonnelly · 4 months

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Love Alphabet - Elizabeth Donnelly x f!reader

A = Affection (PDA, what sort of affection they give)

Considering Liz finds it repulsive to see couples engaging in PDA, she's not the type that'll be kissing you while you're in line for the movies. She's possessive, though, so you'll get an arm looped around your waist. If you make a comment about feeling chilly, she'll lend you her suit jacket.

B = Babies (Anything you want about babies)

Liz is firm on not wanting anything to do with babies/kids.

C = Cuddles (How they cuddle or are cuddled)

Liz isn't the cuddliest, but she's the type who silently expects you to lay in her lap when she has a rare bit of free time to lounge on the couch at home with a book. Occasionally, you'll sit on an armchair across from her to mess with her because it's funny to hear her get all sour over it. She'll get up and make a comment out loud to herself like, "I had reservations for dinner, but I suppose since no one wants to spend time with me, I'll have to cancel them"

D = Darling (Pet names)

She calls you sweetheart and darling. You're allowed to call her Liz in public/private and Lizzie in bed. You'll catch a brow raise if you call her by her full government name, though. It's fine if you use it while you're speaking about her to someone else, but she drops the formalities at home with you and expects you to follow suit.

E = Enamored (how hard do they fall when in love)

Liz knows exactly what she wants and is a complete person without a girlfriend, so when she does fall, she'll pursue you in a very firm and calculated manner. She'll learn your routine and screen through your social circle to determine who everyone is in relation to you. Your male friends will catch some ire, and she'll check if any of them have criminal records. She means well, she's just possessive and a bit entitled. She becomes a judge, after all.

F = Firsts (A first on anything you pick)

The first time you miss a call from her and call her back, you're met with a response of, "well, now that I know you're not dead in a ditch somewhere..."

G = Good Morning (How do they wake you up)

Liz doesn't have much time in the mornings, but always peppers your face in the gentlest kisses before she leaves. The woman might be made out of wrought iron, but she's soft for you.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs?)

Not generally. She'll walk up behind you and kiss your shoulder if you happen to be in the kitchen when she gets home, but she's not big into hugs. She'll expect one if either of you return from a business trip, though.

I = In Labor (Labour and Delivery)

Not happening.

J = Jealousy (Are they jealous? How do they handle it?)

Although she's confident and secure in your relationship, she's naturally the jealous type. Because she's into women who are quite a bit younger than her, and as a result of her background in criminal justice, she's always suspicious of waiters/waitresses who lay it on thick when they serve you, or friends that get a little close. She'll make a smart ass comment about it and you'll know she's pissed.

K = Kisses (How do they kiss? How often?)

Contrary to her reputation, Liz is a passionate kisser. When you're caught in the moment or either of you needs it, she cradles your face in her hands while she leans down and kisses you softly.

L = Loyal (How loyal are they?)

Loyalty is everything to her.

M = Memory (Their favourite memory about you?)

If you ask her around other people, she'll say it's when you were there for her when she accepted the honor of becoming a judge. If you ask her in private, she'll admit it's when you confessed to being in love with her, tears dripping down your cheeks because you weren't sure if you were making the biggest mistake of your life because she hid her own desires so well from you.

N = Never! (Dealbreakers)

Any kind of cheating, keeping massive secrets from her, that sort of thing. She trusts very few people, so betraying her or going back on your word is a one way ticket out the door.

O = On the Rocks (How do they make up?)

If she's in the wrong, she'll eventually turn up at your apartment with flowers and a carefully worded mea culpa speech.

P = Playtime (Any headcanons on sex)

Liz is definitely a soft dom, and has more of a mommy kink than she wants to admit. She's not too kinky apart from that. She gets off on getting you off, so don't expect her to allow you to flip her over. On a rare occasion, though, she'll let you kneel on the ground and give her head. In these moments, she'll coo praises towards you while she threads a hand in your hair and tells you how she can't wait to cum all over your pretty little face. She'll get rough if you ask her to, but generally you're getting the princess treatment. She doesn't share, and takes limits very seriously.

Q = Quiet Time (How do they wind down?)

With a glass of high dollar scotch and a good book.

R = Rapture (What makes them happy?)

Aside from victories in the courtroom, she's happiest when you tell her you love her/have missed her after a long day. Her love language is gift giving, and it warms the heart her coworkers are surprised she even has when your face lights up at the things she buys for you.

S = Soulmate (What do they think of soulmates?)

If someone asks her, she'll scoff and say the concept is naive/wishful thinking, but deep down she hopes you believe in them and that you believe you're hers.

T = Together (What do you like to do together?)

Coexist peacefully in silence together after a workday, or spend lunch together in her office whenever you both have twenty minutes to spare.

U = Unyielding (How do they handle interlopers on the relationship?)

She doesn't tolerate it.

V = Vulnerable (Are they vulnerable often? How do they handle it?)

Hell no. Vulnerability in Liz is something she only shares when she's truly missed you or when she's making love to you. Apart from that, she's all business and bluster.

W = Wedding (Wedding headcanons)

She's not a believer in weddings/lavish ceremonies, but you'll have a quiet ceremony together and the most impressive ring money can buy.

X = (E)x (How do they handle exes? What do they do if they see them)

See her final moments with Casey in season 9's finale for a great example.

Y = Yearning (What do they do when they miss you?)

She's insufferable when you've been apart for too long. She and Alex once had to fly out of state for a conference, and Alex sends you a photo of her sulking after dinner one night because she misses you and is too prideful to admit it. It's her sitting in the hotel lobby with her sunglasses on, phone face down on a nearby coffee table, ignoring everyone and waiting for you to at least text her that you miss her and are thinking about her. It becomes a bit of a meme in your circle.

Z = Zzz… (Sleeping headcanons)

Spending several decades as an attorney has left her with insomnia, but when she finally does sleep, she wraps herself around you. You'll wake to the sound of her mumbling in her sleep sometimes.

#elizabeth donnelly #elizabeth donnelly x reader

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thatiranianphantom · 10 months

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So I'm writing a fic (slowly, ever so slowly) where Nancy and Ace finally have the talk they really, really need to have. Kinda about why this is so hard for them, when these are two people who have always understood each other extremely well. Behold my opinions (only my opinions!) below:

There are some very clear miscommunications going on here, and a lot of it is centered on both them being much more careful with the other's life than their own, and some pretty personal issues that existed before the advent of "Nace".

Namely, for Nancy, she is going classic Nancy. She is trying to lash out, she is trying to close him out, because she was and continues to be incredibly hurt, and because she thinks closing herself off to this will hurt less. Nancy has some significant abandonment issues, and Ace is the person who convinced her time and time again that she was worth it, that he would stay, and she actually so believed that he would. So him giving up, especially after he pushed her so hard to think they could solve it, I think is reading to her as Ace abandoning her like so many do, leaving her alone. He's making her feel like she's not worthy of fighting for, which is compounded by his unwillingness to try again and to accept needing space without a fight. She really seems to want him to fight for her, and it's likely really hurtful that he won't.

For Ace, this is also a lot of his own issues. Chiefly, he values her life a lot more than his own. Ace's self-esteem issues are big here. He really thinks a lot more of Nancy than he does of himself. He is absolutely willing to risk dying for her, but he is completely unwilling to have her die or be in any danger, particularly if this is his fault. He undoubtedly thinks of her as his great love, and by his perspective, he is sacrificing so much and giving up his chance at love to sit on the sidelines as he did before so that she'll be alive and happy. And that's such a huge sacrifice that he can't understand why she's angry at him. She also is a bit of a magnet to him. No matter how much he's hurting over her, he can't stay away from her, and he's certainly not willing to stop throwing his own life into danger to protect her.

Also, for both of them, they really don't seem to have considered the "you can't unring the bell" concept. Their relationship is forever changed after this, and as Nick pointed out, they were never only friends. Once they expressed what they feel, they can't shove it back inside. The relationship is never going to exist in the platonic iteration again, if it ever did. And for all the talk of space, and moving on, they really don't seem to be doing that. Nancy is passively allowing herself to be pursued by Tristan, Ace will likely get a one-episodeish love interest. But they are so soulmate-coded and unable to stay away from each other that I'm going to guess this won't last long. And if they could just TALK ABOUT THIS HONESTLY, they could sort a lot of this out. But now there's so much heartache and pain surrounding them, that they can't do what they've always effortlessly been able to do, and just talk to each other.

#Nancy Drew #Nancy Drew CW #Nace #This counts as fic right?#Right?????

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hadesknockedupintheunderworld · 17 days

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Oh ho ho what a highly interesting question, anon👀

(Answered under the cut because it's a bit long)

ㅤ

Before I give my proper answer, allow me to explain a bit of my interpretation of Tails. I actually see him as a sort of naturally jealous person with some innate possessive tendencies who has grown used to curbing these tendencies of his, which he had to do due to a number of factors.

One major reason is due to Sonic himself. To me Sonic has always had a complicated relationship with different kinds of love or attraction (and I do see him as on the aro/ace spectrum). So, when absolute strangers (or those he doesn't particularly like) obsessively pursue him for clear romance/possessive reasons, he tends to react with strong rejection or indifference, in contrast to how he welcomes ego stroking and praise from those who can be merely categorized as "fans" (or those he does particularly like). To me, Tails' initial admiration and pursuit of joining with and becoming like Sonic very well parallels how Amy Rose began to admire and pursue a romantic relationship with Sonic. Even if we consider that Sonic did save Tails that one time from being bullied (according to Sonic Prime and a new animation for Sonic 2 present in Sonic Origins), his pursuit of trying to work together with his hero (which is detailed a bit more in the jp manual for Sonic 2, and includes Tails going so far as to follow after Sonic everywhere and modify Sonic's plane) really isn't any more "normal" than how Amy begins to pursue a romantic relationship with her hero after Sonic saves her from Metal Sonic. The only real differences here were that Amy was explicitly pursuing romance, and that Sonic rejected Amy's advances but eventually took Tails on as his sidekick/little buddy.

This is also not to mention the implications here and there in what we can find of Sonic and Tails' backstory that Sonic would continue to run away and pretend he did not care, while secretly keeping an eye out for Tails.

And beyond that, as one of Sonic’s oldest friends, Tails gets to spend a lot of time around Sonic, and gets to see firsthand how he reacts to romantic prospects, his complicated relationship with "love" as a concept, and is present as Sonic’s group of friends steadily grows.

With all of that, I at least see Tails learning to deal with his innate jealousy and possessiveness so

Sonic doesn’t reject him

Because he doesn't want to keep Sonic from pursuing relationships with others

And for the sake of one's image/being a good person

If Tails has learned that confessing and making his romantic intentions clear could lead to Sonic rejecting him or it ruining their friendship (since he's seen first hand how Sonic has reacted in certain cases to love confessions or overt romantic affection), it makes sense to me that he would try to hold his feelings back (both those that are not squarely platonic and are explicitly romantic and/or sexual). And when it comes to Sonic, there's a guilt factor and an impossibility factor when it comes to keeping him from other people. Not only would Tails feel at least a little bad for restricting him, but Sonic does not respond well to being controlled. Now of course, how he reacts does depend on the time of his life and who it is, but there is nevertheless a futility in trying to control Sonic "I have no master except the wind that blows free" Hedgehog. And finally, my view on both Sonic and Tails, well... I believe that image and visual alignment is a big thing for these two, and that the two are secretly more...in the gray (or at least, that they're surprisingly immoral so to speak). In their origins to me, Tails is just a kid, minding his business, who does not inherently seek to hurt others (though his faith in those around him does matter), and Sonic is just a kid, free as the wind, who doesn't particularly care about being a good guy, but loves the attention. Essentially, though he does save some people on whim, the idea is that Sonic originally fights Robotnik simply because the Doctor, his machines, and his pollution have such a negative effect on his home. So beyond this point, he fights as a hero both out of interest of having his home intact/being alive, and because (simply put) he likes what comes from being considered a hero (all the praise and perks). And so because Sonic is someone that Tails admires, because Sonic has to uphold a baseline image or reputation so he can still be considered a hero/good guy, Tails becomes accustomed to doing the same. That's a bit of an oversimplification (how I see them and why is the subject of a proper essay about that), but the point is that Tails is also conscious that trying to overtly control or manipulate Sonic would not objectively be considered "hero or good guy behavior", especially if it goes too far.

And so with all of that plus the fact that Sonic has never seemingly accepted anyone's romantic inclinations or dated anyone, Tails curbs his natural inclination towards jealousy and possessiveness so he can be content enough to be at Sonic's side. Perhaps there are more friends Sonic is going to get, people he's going to show an interest in, but Tails can put stock in the fact that it's unlikely that Sonic will date anyone. Plus, even if that somehow does happen, Tails is largely fine as long as he's guaranteed to be by Sonic's side no matter what. So as long as he can be with Sonic forever, no matter their relationship, he's as content as can be.

ㅤ

But then Sonic starts dating Nine, right?

And hahaha don't get me wrong here. Tails is pretty practiced. He's not gonna blow up or anything.

But once he gets past the initial shock of that being true, I think he just feels jealous and conflicted by default. I mean, he's just been accepting that there's no hope of ever being in that kind of relationship with Sonic. And not only has someone gone and done it, it's not just anyone.

It's a version of him.

And if a version of himself managed to do it (a version of himself who once lashed out at and fought against Sonic no less), then what does that mean about him? Does it mean that there's something about Nine Sonic likes better? Does it mean that he's had this entire situation wrong? Does it mean he lost his chance and he'd been so afraid for nothing? Does it mean that he could have had that this whole time?

And that's not to mention navigating this. Even if I believe Sonic is very very capable of having multiple best friends or even partners, it's only natural for Tails to get a little afraid of being replaced (especially if he learns that Sonic also considered/considers Nine as a best friend also)

But Tails is the type to not want to burden Sonic with all of this while becoming increasingly more worried. And although he would naturally have a complicated relationship with Nine, I still think he would generally like him and not want to take out his feelings on him. So with that being said, I think he'd sort of try to hold it in and act normal while really not acting all that normal, because though he could hide his feelings better if he wanted to, he still kind of lets it slip because he kind of does want to talk to Sonic about it or let his feelings be known.

I think that whenever Sonic eventually does see that Tails is acting a bit off he'll eventually talk to him about it or try to get him to, but, honestly, even if Sonic could say things (true things) that would make him feel better, I don't think Tails could be as content as he would be if it was idk... Knuckles or Shadow or what have you. Because if it was anyone else, Tails could be more content knowing that his relationship with Sonic is special and that he'll always be by his side, even if he's dating someone else.

But with the fact that the person that Sonic has chosen to date is another version him—a version of him which Sonic has also kind of clearly developed a similar "best friendship" with? I feel that even if Sonic tries to reassure him, Tails will forever be plagued with bitter and jealous feelings. Even if he'd never force Sonic to stop dating anyone, much less force him to date him, I don't think he can even really feel content here unless Sonic chooses to date him also if that makes any sense.

So, yes. That's my answer. Tails would try to be really good about it, but he's still bitter and annoyed and jealous and wondering if he's enough or has been doing something wrong. He's wondering why it couldn't have been him. And he won't be able to just be content at Sonic's side if he can't also be with Sonic. So while I can't say how long it will take, something will have to give eventually. I think at some point in their future, Sonic will have to tackle his specific feelings for Tails and they'll have to talk about their specific relationship, especially if he's dating Nine right in front of him.

#sonic prime #sonine #sonic the hedgehog #sontails #miles tails prower #tails the fox #miles nine prower #nine sonic prime #nine the fox #unbreakable bond #anon interview #Thank you so much for the ask!🥰🥰#I was very very interested in getting to answer this one just because whoof it's fun to think about #it's the kind of complicated situation that really makes me want to write a fic or something cause god #imagine you've been crushing on your best friend for years but have been holding everything back because you know it'll never happen‚ so you #become content with your nontypical best friendship relationship where you stick by his side as long as you can #And then one day he comes back to introduce you to his boyfriend‚ who is very clearly an alternate universe version of you‚ that he's dating #and kissing‚ even though you've known him much longer #There are so many possible feelings that can arise from that #And that naturally adds more complexity to the relationship between Nine and Tails as well #Gah it's deliciously a bit complex and I just know Sonic is gonna be a bit dense about it. This is a situation where even if Sonic decides #to date both of them‚ it's going to take work and time to make things okay #But if they're all willing to put in that work‚ well....power thruple!!#i just be ramblin #If you have any other questions about these characters or their relationships to each other‚ or even hypothetical situations involving them‚#feel free to shoot me another ask!😊💖

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svartalfhild · 5 months

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A Case for Jezri

Listen, I know how the DS9 fandom feels about Jezri, but I just wanted to take a moment to explain why I like it. I'm not asking people to agree; I just want to give it some love because there are things to enjoy and to explore in that ship that haven't gotten any discussion.

(Also why is 99.9% of the Jezri tag just people tagging their hate? Who raised y'all? Please be respectful towards your fellow fans who may not feel the same as you.)

I'm no stranger to finding my gold nuggets in the trash heap when it comes to Star Trek ships. I'm the type to find the things to love about something that was executed poorly by the writers. Datasha is my TNG OTP. Need I say more.

So don't think I don't understand some of the main objections people have to Jezri. I get it. I do. So with that out of the way, let's get into the good stuff.

Julian's personal story, particularly in the later parts of the show, has a strong motif of loneliness, which comes from two or three different aspects of his life. The first one is of course the fact that he's an augment. He's socially isolated by his mental and physical superiority. No one can keep up with him, and he has to diminish himself to fit in, especially before the truth comes out. The second is the evolving lives of the people closest to him. There reaches a point where nearly all of his closest friends are either married or in committed relationships, and he's the free floater who has to hope he can still fit into their lives somewhere. The third aspect is his own shit luck with relationships. No one sticks with him for very long for whatever reason. And there was the everything with Jadzia on top of it all. Poor man couldn't catch a break.

And then along comes Ezri. Quark is quick to treat her as same old Dax with a new coat of paint, for whose affections he immediately tries to generate competition with Julian, because he is a sexist little toad. Julian, to his great credit, is like "what the fuck, Quark" and makes it clear that he sees Ezri as a different person, not Jadzia 2.0 who he now has a chance with. Ezri is his new friend, and he's not going to be pulled into Quark's bullshit.

The writing is unfortunately rather uneven when it comes to showing us the establishment and development of that friendship, so we have to piece together the vibes from several disparate moments, some big and meaningful and others more incidental, but that's not too difficult for me. Fandom has done more with less.

Anyway! Through all of that, we kind of get to see that Ezri sees Julian differently than Jadzia did in a way that allows them to click very quickly. Jadzia sort of saw Julian as an adorable puppy excitedly wagging his tail at her (and by the time he matured into someone who was more her type, he'd stopped pursuing her and then she was with Worf). Ezri sees him as the charming guy who knows how to have a good time. It seems natural to me that Julian would quickly latch onto someone who thought his holosuite adventures were demonstrative of a healthy sense of fun and not a sign of immaturity. Ezri is literally the bad bitch he pulled by being autistic.

And they are such adorable awkward nerds with each other! The big eyes! The soft touches! The fumbling! The trying to keep things platonic because they just like each other so much that they're afraid of messing things up! The breaking down and making out anyway because they can't escape the vibes! *chef's kiss*

The thing that completely sold me on Jezri, though, was their moment together at the end of the last episode where Julian is mourning Miles' departure and feeling lonely and then Ezri rolls up like "Hey~!" and expresses the desire to have dinner and do holosuite adventures with him. That was so beautiful to me. Everything is changing and so many of his friends have left and it's the ultimate pit of loneliness for him, but then there's Ezri. He has her now and he's not alone and the war is over and there's hope and the start of something new and soft. I cried, y'all. Like maybe it's because I'm at a place in my life where I feel left behind while I watch all my friends move on with their lives, but man, the way Ezri represents the light at the end of a dark tunnel for Julian just got me so good.

Here are some of the headcanons I have to supplement the sparse canon material and give further depth and enjoyment to my shipping experience:

They're both bisexual.

Since they're both healthcare professionals, they have a lot to talk about where their fields intersect. They make a great team when they're working, but this also results in them developing a shorthand with each other that is somewhat infuriating for others.

Ezri's closeness with Julian allows her to better develop her friendship with Garak, and there are several times when all three of them get up to shenanigans together.

They sometimes get each other new tea blends to try as a fun little surprise.

Ezri tries to teach Julian some of the gymnastics stuff she remembers at least once with mixed results.

Julian particularly loves hugging Ezri, and she particularly loves holding his hand.

Julian persuades Ezri to read Lord of the Rings, and she gets really into it, so they end up doing a holosuite adaptation as Legolas and Gimli. Ezri plays with her beard a lot.

Quark fucking hates how cute they are and Kira makes a point to tell him about every sweet moment she sees between them just to fuck with him.

Ezri very much gets in on the Fuck With Section 31 train and helps Julian do spy shit. The criminal psychology knowledge comes in handy.

Anyway, these are my feels. Please don't air your grievances here. I just want to sail on my dinghy and hope someone out there is sailing with me.

#Star Trek #DS9 #Julian Bashir #Ezri Dax #Jezri #if you're gonna comment just please don't be an asshole I'm so tired

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mymarifae · 2 days

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making me emo about aventurine again :(

my bad. hey do you want to think about his cat cakes and how they're all black kitties

luckiest man in the universe takes in 3 unlucky babies :') ...

or like, the way he sought out stelle's company once he got his phone working again, and opened up to her of his own volition

he insists on playing it off like he's losing a game but Aventurine does not lose a dice game unless he wants to

so... he just genuinely wanted to talk to stelle. despite everything he trusts her. you have to be quite the special person to get him to be vulnerable. this is a friendship he wants for himself - not to complete a job for the ipc. and he seems to be the type to pull away the second he starts to truly Want anything because the risk of losing something he WANTS is too much. even for him. his brush with true death has really changed him... if he's now allowing himself to pursue these sorts of things

or do you want to think about the text conversation after this (that i do not have screenshots of on hand 💔), where he's at a gift shop and offers to buy stelle something. i personally chose the pajamas while going through this, but you have the option to say "i want them all" and he'll immediately agree to buy them all for her. no strings attached or teasing or anything he's literally like "okay cool!"

he probably does view relationships through a distorted lens and thinks he has to always be providing and proving his worth or the other person will leave. but i also think he just genuinely enjoys spoiling people. he grew up beyond impoverished and the ipc provides him with like . exorbitant funds. wtf is he going to do with all these credits. why not give all that he can just because he can now? gift giving is probably one of his love languages - lack of confidence aside. the way people's eyes light up when he gives them a present they weren't expecting makes him happy

stelle is going to be spoiled ROTTEN lmfao

he's sweet, when he's allowed to let down his guard a little and be vulnerable. it's undoubtedly really scary for him, but he's ready to face those fears and stop hiding behind flashy accessories and empty smiles, carelessly gambling his own life and hoping that something will just fucking kill him already. he's ready to start valuing himself a bit more

#yay aventurine yaaaayyyyyy this man makes me ILL #i hope he and boothill assassinate oswaldo and cause the ipc to implode on itself #mailbox

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pancake-breakfast · 1 month

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I always forget to do stuff for ace awareness days, but I've remembered today, so I'm gonna take a second to talk about some of the struggles I've had being ace, and heteromantic grey-ace in particular.

Erasure: Oh, you want to be in a relationship? Surely you're not really ace, then. You're grey-ace? Sounds like you're just picky. You go for people of the opposite gender from the one you were assigned at birth? Not queer enough. I don't mean to say someone like myself doesn't face fewer problems with their queerness than others; there's no way in hell I deal with the level of shit some of y'all put up with. I "pass," especially when set in US purity culture. But this does not mean I experience sexuality the way most people do, and pretending I do causes all sorts of issues for both me and any partners I might pursue.

Realizing One's Ace-ness to Begin With: To the best of my understanding, this is incredibly common in the ace community. We're told we'll grow into it, that we're just late bloomers, that we haven't found the right person, and for AFAB people, that "women are just less into sex than men." All of this means it's not exactly uncommon for people not to realize they're ace until their mid-20's or later, often after they've been through a few relationships where they allowed things to go past their comfort levels because that's what's expected of someone in a relationship.

Loss of Meaningful "Friendships": I'm sure this happens to everyone to some degree, but it seems particularly cruel that a number of close friendships I've had pretty much evaporate overnight when it finally sinks in to the other person that I will not have sex with them. Usually, I'm completely unaware that all the time we've spent hanging out and chatting and bonding was them trying to build to a sexual relationship in the first place. I thought we were just really good friends and deeply valued what I thought was a platonic relationship only to have a rude awakening when all the times I said, "I'm ace," finally sink in. This is why I usually leave of the "grey" part when describing my asexuality. Anything else usually implies there's more hope to people than there generally is. Of all the "friendships" I've lost this way, the number that have gone on to become something healthy and platonic is... one.

Society isn't Built for Ace Folk: I'm a pretty strong introvert. I like my alone time. I like my space. But it's INCREDIBLY difficult to live on one's own, especially these days. It's not just the expectation that any household needs to pull two full-time incomes to stay afloat. It's the little things. If I'm sick, no one else is around to help keep the place clean or do the groceries or pick up medicine or drive me to the doctor's. A lack of platonic social spaces mean there's no one I can rant to in person about my patio birds or this Cool Thing I found while out and about. Who do I go to when I need a shoulder to cry on or a hug or just not to be alone with my anxiety for a bit? This is not to diminish my in-person friends, but they have their own lives and few of them live close by, so sometimes even when they want to be there, they can't. And if I do reach out to them too much, people are quick to question our relationship. That can interfere with any romantic relationships the friend has, or put either or both of us in an awkward situation. Sometimes, it leads to a closeness that the other person feels, but I don't reciprocate. It is hard to know that your life will always be more difficult because you refuse to take a sexual partner.

One of these days, perhaps I'll write something up about some of the nicer things about being ace, but today, this is what I want to share. May it help those of you who are on the ace spectrum feel a bit more seen and a bit less alone, and may it help those of you who have ace people you care for in your lives understand things a bit better.

#asexuality #international asexuality day #pancake thoughts #oversharing

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elvenchain · 1 year

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Thinking abt post-BW2 Ghetsis again...the conclusion to his story is so unique to me because he isn't banished or killed, nor does he find any kind of redemption. He just disappears completely having lost everything and the one person he could have ever cared about. I wonder how he feels about Colress, and how Colress feels about him too.

I find them both such interesting characters because they don't seem like the sort of people who would ever care about finding love or making friends for the sake of it. They refer to their relationship as an agreement several times in the manga and in the games - implying that if either of them were to find their goals diverging they'd just split off. But that isn't what happens at all. Colress loses to the protagonist and allows them to confront Ghetsis. And when they arrive, he's outraged. And throughout both BW and BW2 Ghetsis refers to his goals as strictly his, usually putting emphasis on it to show how selfish his ambitions are. But in that confrontation he says "our ultimate mission." Ghetsis is a selfish man, but the fact he wanted to share his ultimate goal with Colress shows just how close they were.

Colress definitely doesn't hate him, either. He says it, but the way he talks about Ghetsis in USUM shows pretty clearly that he still cares about him, even when faced with the worst possible version of his friend. But Colress hasn't spoken to his Ghetsis since his defeat.

Will he remain a husk of his former self forever? What happened to his Pokémon? Will Colress ever speak to him again, or will they always have this rift between them? There's something so tragic about both of them - they're terrible people who have done terrible things, but they were happy together at one point. While they were pursuing their goals, they were happy, and they understood each other in a way that went far, far beyond just an alliance out of convenience. They had something, but neither of them realised just what it was until it was too late.

But if Colress ever found him and spoke to him, or he ever went back out into the world, I wonder what kind of life he'd lead, and what sort of man he'd be.

#in the bw2 manga they refer to each other as “my friend” constantly as well like u arent fooling anyone #i want these two very very awful very evil men to be happy thank u #Sorry im just so caught up in the inherent tragedy of realising youre in love but only once its too late #shaking them violently TALK TO EACH OTHER RAHHGHGHGH #long post #antigravityshipping #Ghetsis #Colress

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tsundereition · 3 months

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Chenya x Riddle

Chenya x Riddle relationship headcanons

Okay, so you know the song "It's a wonderful cat's life"? That's basically their dynamic to me lol. This is one of my favorite ships for Riddle because I like the childhood friends to lovers trope, and I like Chenya as a character, but we don't really know much about him so some stuff will be made up kdfjds.

We know their first meeting was through Riddle's window, when him and Trey introduced themselves and took Riddle out to play and eat some sweet treats. Just,, that is already so cute and romantic lol, it's such a classic! The princess (Riddle) stuck on a tower meeting his prince (Chenya) through the window >< And his mother sadly prohibited him from seeing the other boys anymore :'( so it's a forbidden romance! But fear not, Chenya doesn't even need a long braid of hair to climb, his unique magic already allows him to float and become invisible so he can easily infiltrate Riddle's room! (which, thinking of… him getting his unique magic by 9 years old is quite young 🤔 but they showed it like that on the manga, maybe because he's a beastman and not a human he's more magic-inclined?)

Following that line of thought, I like to think that it was Chenya who fell for Riddle first! Always seeking to be beside him, for some reason the kid was so fun to tease, and he seemed quite lonely so he developed some sort of affection towards him. At first it was just friendly but as the years passed he slowley realized that his feelings were starting to shift towards something more romantic. Obviously Riddle too always looked forward to his visits; although he didn't like Chenya startling him by appearing out of nowhere, in the end he could always count on the cat boy to get a giggle out of him (and I want to believe that if Chenya stuffs something in his pockets, it dissapears with him so maybe he would bring biscuits and stuff from Trey's bakery to him lol).

Now, when going into RSA, Chenya was away for a full year before Riddle went to Sage Island as well. During this period, Riddle would have time to introspect -he misses both Chenya and Trey, but why are his feelings towards each of them different? Aren't they supposed to be both his friends? Still, even if he unconsciously already knew, it would take him a looong time to accept it, considering this is all still pre-overblot.

With Riddle getting into NRC, they would become close once again and Chenya could visit him more often without needing to hide from his mother (although he still needs to hide from authorities when tresspassing the school's gates lol). During this period, I think Chenya would let him be. Even if he's reckless, he knows when to not overstep a boundary. By this I mean… He wouldn't act on his feelings towards Riddle (maybe even going out with other people in the meantime to forget about him? oh the angst-).

It would still take one year more, after Riddle's overblot, for him to do an actual introspection and accept his feelings towards Chenya. Now, it's not easy for him. He already knows he likes him, then what? Should he try to pursue a relationship? Give up on it? Trey would become his advisor in this sort of situation, and given that he's also friends with Chenya, he would already be aware of the catboy's feelings for the younger boy, so he would encourage Riddle to give it a chance.

With all this said, it would be Riddle the one to confess; Chenya wouldn't have expected it, but of course he's happy and quickly accepts. Once they're both dating, the relationship would develop slowly but surely, starting with baby steps. First starting with little dates in more private places of the Heartslabyul gardens, then maybe moving to other locations around Sage Island.

I think Riddle would still be hesitant about having dates back home in the Rose Queendom, because they might run into one of his mother's acquaintances, not to mention his mother herself. But Chenya would introduce him to his own family first. Since cats usually have many kittens, I like to imagine that Chenya would have at least some siblings and they would all adore Riddle (and would love to mess with him lol, but Chenya is there to protect him -only he can annoy his boyfriend).

However, I don't think Riddle would be the type to date someone out of a whim, so when deciding to date Chenya he already knew sooner or later he would have to confront his mother. He just needs time, is all! After finishing higschool he would tell her about his decision and if she doesn't approve of it… well, he already has a family where he can make himself at home.

Bonus: a doodle :D thanks for asking about my rare pair, the world needs more content of these two.

#tsun.fic #why did it kinda end in angst ;;#riddle rosehearts #chenya #ridnya #cherid #twst bl

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butmakeitgayblog · 2 months

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Sorry, I really thought about typing out the whole name but then I was like “Nahhhhh… they’ll get it.” 😬 I wrote a piece of fiction for March 3rd this year that I liked, but I think I’d have trouble with a longer story but honestly your encouragement might be enough to get me to try! Another fic idea I had was a sort of Anya Likes Clarke But Clarke Is Too Busy Trying To Get Her People Out Of Mount Weather To Notice triangle, where Anya lives and gets to introduce Clarke to Lexa and both grounders are 100% smitten with Clarke, cause let’s be honest, I think if it was given time to develop, it might’ve happened. The angst that would play out when Lexa chooses to betray Clarke would just be.. mmmmph *chefs kiss*. Anya torn between her duty to her commander and former seken, and between the sky girl that had quickly made a crash landing into the deepest parts of her heart. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m 100% Clexa trash, and only Clexa trash, but I do like seeing the could-be relationships for Clarke played out. Like Princess Mechanic, or Octavia x Clarke (I don’t know if there’s a specific name for that), or Anya x Clarke. Hell, I even saw a short one shot once for an Echo x Clarke and that was interesting as hell to read.

Not to ramble too much but on this idea there’s another great one where Lexa is trapped in the mountain and gets rescued by Clarke instead of Anya. Doesn’t make the most sense, seeing as Mount Weather would not be dumb enough or have such a lack of info that they wouldn’t know who they had, but you need suspension of disbelief with all these things, okay? That one is just more one shot material but it gives us a chance to develop things between the two rather quickly, as it shows Lexa right away that Clarke is loving and amazing and that Skaikru is different from the maunon.

SORRY FOR RAMBLING IN YOUR INBOX. I have like a whole folder full of fic ideas in my notes that I don’t think I could pursue even if I spent nothing but the rest of my life going at it 😂

First of all, don't ever apologize for going off in my inbox. It's fine bby it's what it's there for!

Second,

Ok i sat with this for a few days because I really wanted to roll it over in my mind, and I have to just be honest. I am not the target demographic for this fic 😅

Now I'm definitely not shitting on your idea or even the want for this pairing or dynamic! So don't take it as that! I guarantee there are people who would eat this fic tf up ok

But for me personally, I just... I can't get down man. I can't. Because here's the thing, I have a hard time seeing Anya (specifically canon Anya) as anything other than a motherly/sisterly/mentor figure to Lexa. To the point I even wrote about it in my own canon fic that's coming. It's just something that's deeply embedded in my brain - Anya and Lexa are more like family than anything. More specifically, Anya is a kind of maternal figure, if not a hard-nosed older sister type situation.

So for me something like this causes a lot of narrative problems because I have a hard time finding a way to plausibly have it that Anya would ever knowingly go after someone Lexa was interested in. Lexa already had soooo few people in her life that were just there to support her and who she was allowed to love - which I think she did love Anya, her reaction to finding out Anya had been killed was devastation when you filter it through the hardened mask of Heda. So I have a hard time reconciling the idea of having one of those few people compete against her for a love interest. I have a hard time believing Anya wouldn't have seen immediately that Lexa was developing feelings. And when she did see that, I don't see her then ever entertaining the idea of possibly getting in between Lexa and this girl who had captured Lexa's attention.

I just don't think Anya would ever do that. Not only because of her respect for Lexa as Heda, but her respect and love for Lexa as Lexa

Also, and this is a big ALSO in the whole thing for me, going along with the idea of Anya being a motherly/sisterly/mentor figure, I just don't see Anya seeing Clarke as attractive or a viable lover interest. I mean she practically raised Lexa right? That's basically fanon lore at this point. And the thing is.... Clarke is younger than Lexa. By a few years

I just, I can't imagine Anya seeing someone younger than Lexa and not being like, "Ok well that is a fucking fetus. Who gave a toddler a handgun. 🤨"

#anon #*anya pointing to clarke when she walks into Lexa's tent* whose goddamn white baby is that?#clexa #anya kom trikru

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t-n-c · 11 months

Text

A Comprehensive List of my Thoughts on Elemental (STILL WITH SPOILERS!)

So here's the rundown I promised of my feelings toward Elemental

SPOILERS BELOW PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

The Good

The music--I found it memorable and unique; the main theme had soft vocalizations that felt almost ethereal, like it was an ancient hymn. I also found the song that played during the montage of Ember and Wade's dates catchy and fun. It was pretty great soundtrack imho.

The design of the world--I really loved how they creators took into account how all these different elements would move and interact in the city. It made the setting feel, for lack of a better term, more "real" to me. It also set up some of Ember's conflict as a Fire element living in a city that wasn't made with her people in mind.

The designs of (most of*) the characters--for the most part, the characters looked unique and, even better, they looked like average people (for lack of a better term) to me; call me a sap or whatever, but I've always preferred characters that have all the "flaws" of average folks than the ones that look like some iteration of "perfect," they just feel more relatable to me I guess. I also found it fun to see how design features such as "hair" were incorporated in the characters and how those same features varied between the elements. If there's one thing I can consistantly praise Pixar for it's for not being afraid to play around with design.

The animation---I loved how the characters moved and interacted in the world. The felt like living things and I appreciated that.

Wade and Ember are adults implied to be in their mid-to-late 20s--This is probably just a me thing, but I find it nice when I see shows where the protagonists aren't adolescents or barely-18 young adults going through some sort of coming-of-age scenario; there's nothing wrong with those kinds of stories of course, I just find them a bit boring and over-done myself. That and whenever I see films like that it always feels like they're insinuating that people over XYZ age can't be protagonists, so I tend to avoid them these days. On a related note, here are some other reasons why I like that Ember and Wade are adults: a) They both still live with their parents but neither of them is shamed or mocked for it--I've seen waaaay too many "comedies" that pick fun at the "25-year-old-living-in-their-mom's-basement" so I found it nice to not have to sit through that kind of "joke" again, b) Neither of them have got their lives "figured out" yet--Wade's gone through multiple jobs, and Ember's just begun to understand what she actually wants for her life--as someone who's gone through multiple jobs, earned 2 bachelor's degrees and is in the process of getting a master’s, and is still trying to make sense of their life, I found their struggles extremely relatable; it's nice to see adult protagonists be allowed to struggle with figuring out who they are and what they want to be, c) They're allowed to have fun and goof off--in a lot of films I've seen, the adult characters are always depicted as being so serious and "boring" it's nice to see adult characters actually have fun and enjoy life.

Ember' relationship with her parents, specifically her father--I found the interactions they had very sweet and moving; it made Ember's conflict between choosing to take over her father's shop or pursue her romance with Wade all the more relatable, imo.

How Ember and Wade's romance developed--it wasn't a love-at-first-sight kind of thing; they actually had to spend time interacting and getting to know each other before they fell in love--and most importantly, they showed us on the actual screen how/when they started to fall for each other. They went on dates, opened up to each other, fought with each other, etc--all the things that normal relationships have; while sure, there's still an aspect of "forbidden romance" to their relationship, it's more subtle and in the background than the trailers implied it would be. It also doesn't end with marriage and kids--they leave together for Ember’s internship and it’s implied that they’ve moved in together but that’s all; idk I thought it was nice that they could just be a couple.

The Bad

1. The blink-and-miss representation LGBTQ+ representation--I've gotten reeeeeeaaaally tired of how LGBTQ+ characters are treated in films; to clarify, there's a scene where Wade introduces Ember to his family and he introduces her to his youngest sibling, Lake (who is described as being nonbinary in supplemental materials) and her/them girlfriend, Ghibli. Lake's identity as nonbinary is a bit ambiguous in the film (Wade does refer to them as his youngest sibling, but that's all we get--without the tie-in material it's to mistake them for being WLW). Further, between them Lake and Ghibli have at most 2-3 lines in the entire movie--like I appreciate that us LGBTQ+ are being recognized and put in films, but I'm tired of all our rep always being the side characters that hold no weight in the story; I think they can start making shows with LGBTQ+ leads now, thank you.

2. Wade's fake death--I'm not a fan of having characters (and the audience) go through huge, life-changing events only to have the events "fixed" and everything be all hunky-dory again--imo, it's a cheap trick to manipulate the audiences' emotions at best, and at worst, it's a disrespectful act that not-to subtly implies that the audience "can't handle" seeing the characters go through heavy stuff. I'm a firm believer that if you're going to have your characters go through something as serious as having one die on screen you need to commit to it--you need to take it seriously, pulling a 180 and undoing all that development is cliche to the point of annoyance. Now, I'm not saying I wanted Wade to die, I'm not even saying that I think he should have stayed dead--what I'm saying is that I don't think there should have ever been a "death" scene in the film at all--there are plenty of other ways they could have had Ember realize her feelings for Wade/be honest with her father.

Mixed Feelings Section

1. Ember and Wade's designs*--it's not that they're terrible or anything, but they are a bit generic imo. In comparison to their family members and the background characters, they both have that "typical protagonist" look that I find a bit cliche

2. Wade's family being 'good' rich people who don't mind that Wade's in love with Ember vs Ember's father who spends most of the film being aggressively anti-water--I'm kind on the fence with this tbh; on the one hand, if both sides had been against Ember and Wade's relationship, I feel it would have put too much emphasis on the romance and taken away Ember's story as the child of immigrants, and it's not like Wade's family weren't bigoted at all--they threw plenty of micro-aggressions at Ember when she first met them; that being said I do have to side-eye how they made the ones more accepting of fire people Wade's rich, probably-descendents-of-the-founders-of-Element-City family and made the one most aggressively against water people Ember's immigrant-built-his-family-a-home-and-business-from-scratch father. Idk, it feels iffy to me.

3. Most of the Wade and Ember's interactions takes place within a week--As much as I felt that their romance was pretty well-paced, I can't deny that they still fell for each other very quickly--I get that the main plot point had set it up that they only had a week to fix the broken water-spill doors, but I don't know why it had to be a week; why couldn't it have been a couple of weeks or a month? It would have made a lot more sense both for the romance and the main plot, but I digress, I still found their relationship adorable.

4. The experiences of immigrants is homogenized--The culture of the fire people draws on a lot of different types of immigrants, the Irish, different Asiatic groups, maybe some Middle Eastern groups, etc--and while I appreciate that the story was about immigrants and experiences they share in common I also felt a bit iffy about taking all these different cultures and merging them together. I feel it would have been better they made the fire people's culture more of a unique entity than a combination of cultures.

Like I said before, I highly recommend this movie; it's cute and tugs at your heart-strings.

#Elemental #Pixar Elemental #Wade Ripple #Ember Lumen #TNC analyzes animated movies #Elemental 2023 spoilers #Elemental spoilers #I don't know if there'll be a sequel or anything #but I think there's enough there that a potential sequel could work #if nothing else I can see these characters having a successful cartoon series or some shorts #I realize these aren't the first adult characters that Pixar has had as protagonists #Mr. Incredible #Mrs. Incredible/elastigirl #Mr. Fredrickson #Joe Gardner #etc #but it's still rare enough that I appreciate it when I see it

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